#shitty mechs headcanons

[shitty-mechs-headcannons]

holy shit

yaelokre is a fictional band with fictional members who travel their fantasy world and retell mythological stories through song and heavily aestheticized irl performances/concept albums? close enough Welcome back the mechanisms

[scp-1296]

Time doesn't really... work on the Aurora. Every event sort of weaves in and out of continuity. Sometimes the Doc's already fallen out of the airlock, sometimes it's not gonna happen for forty years, and very occasionally it's the only thing that's ever happened on the ship. When each Mechanism joined the crew is usually linear, but once you're on the ship, "linear" goes out the window a bit.

Time only made sense for The Aurora once in the entire time since Jonny stole her, when the skies over Midgard opened up and the world was plunged into chaos and nothing was anything and everything and for one sick, horrible second, a minute was sixty seconds and an hour was sixty minutes and the clocks all told the same time.

And so in eight years ago Nastya does go out an airlock. But eight years ago was in the future, and for now she will always be on board, and on the Aurora, "now" can last as long as you want.

[blughxreader]

building off of this platonic yandere batfam headcanon where they're slaves to your moods and whims...

I also kind of enjoy the idea of batfam revering and fearing batsib. Not enough to lesson their control over you (or back off their affection in any way), but they want your love so badly / think you're a jewel among rubble / cling to your every thought... I can see them freezing up when they know they're about to make you mad, or when you give your opinion.

Tim's like, "*shaky sigh* hi... we need to upgrade the tracking chip in your neck :) itwasbruce'sidea." (his idea actually)

or they know your triggers by heart (mentioning your past family, your aspirations of travel, lost career goals, etc) and immediate silence falls over them as they wait for your reaction.

This works especially well for Darlings that withdraw into themselves. It's impossible to NEVER give a single opinion or extra explanation, so on the rare occasion when you divulge something about yourself, they're like oh god its happening JOT THAT DOWN

Dick is good at talking around your pointed silence, even if he gets nervous under your glare. He has stars in his eyes when you finally engage with him, even if it's only a sentence more than your usual "yes/no" responses.

Dick is unpredictable too because you never know where his limit is. It's fine, it's fine, it's fine, then he comes back from patrol with broken knuckles and the scariest look on his face because he couldn't take the stress anymore. The only one in the house who will match your anger (rarely happens, though), and he apologizes through actions, not words.

Jason, who always has some shitty remark to make, finds himself at a loss for words when you're not talking. You two sit with your arms crossed in silence and look sour for two hours, then he walks away thinking it was a relatively good visit.

He gets overwhelmed the easiest when you're mad. When you're in a bad mood, very slight disturbance in the house sets him off and he needs the rest of the day to cool off.

Tim has no clue how to handle you. He doesn't fit the reliable older brother role and he can't fool anyone with the doe-eyed baby brother act, so I think he'd take the "best friend sibling" approach.

He's always trying new ways to curry your favor, despite it occasionally pissing you off from how obvious his attempts are. Tim's the least likely to be deterred by your rejection, despite how deeply it hurts. He sulks in the shower for an hour then gets out to cause problems only he can solve.

Kind of like how Damian absorbed Dick and Bruce's moral code because it fit his end goal of being Batman, I feel he would do the same to you but for slightly different reasons.

Damian walks around like your mirror. He unconsciously mimics everything you do, absorbing your behaviors and speech like a sponge. An outsider wouldn't be able to see past his trained neutral expression, but on the inside he thinks you're so cool.

He also copies you as a coping mech in order to limit upsetting you, and gets VERY embarrassed when he says something that contradicts your feelings.

Bruce, ever the scapegoat, has resigned himself to the brunt of your anger. He can't weasel his way into your heart like the boys can, so he's the most transparent about his bonding efforts. His gifts and attention are steady and unrelenting, no matter the response.

I think he's the sweetest... He's definitely the best listener in the house, and genuinely wants nothing more than for you to be safe and happy. Yes he wants you to accept the child/sibling role, but he won't manipulate you to get there (unlike some of the boys). Your anger gives him stress, but he takes it in stride.

for more yandere batfam content, visit my masterlist!

[robolvrr]

late night adventures  ⁠`⁠๑🍻

swerve x gn! human bartender headcanons /

i need more of this adorable little guy.

sfw / suggestive under the cut.

"wait a minute. you gotta go to academy to make drinks?!"

you end up on the lost light completely by convenience. sure, cybertronians haven't exactly gotten the best reputation - a waging war following wherever they migrated wasn't pleasing for the planets caught in between a billion years of conflict. still, you're tired of working in a shitty bar with shitty customers and shitty pay.

while brainstorm first suggested to find a way to mass displace you (which you tend to just tune out his plans because he makes zero sense), the crew has settled on just making you a mech suit. it's not boxy, fitted for your frame. you don't have a helmet on because the mechs like to look at you.

kind of like a zoo animal exhibit to be honest. look, the alien in the tin can can speak!

you quickly develop some favorites. tailgate is adorable and cyclonus is terrifying but warms up to you over a few months. rewind is chatty. rodimus is.. rodimus. whirl has his charm and you love to hear skids ramble.

but who you really click with?

swerve.

my god he is OBSESSED. a human? on board? in his lifetime? at HIS bar?

it's even better once he learns you share interests.

you talk about your experience as a bar tender and yap his audials until he's melting. he loves it though.

he finds it interesting all the personal touches humanity tends to do for drinks.

like little fruits in fancy cups? burning a glass just for the fun of it?

"do you ever experiment with drinks?"

"well, yeah. to an extent."

"huh. do your customers sometimes offline for a lil?"

"... no honey i don't think they ever have."

please help him convince ultra magnus to include their trades for wines and spirits.

sometimes he lets you get behind the bar top.

he gets posted at your side and gushes like a goof. he finds the way you're able to talk and make drinks very, very impressive.

he learns to make drinks for you over time.

the first time you kind of gag and he freaks out, but you just end up patting his helm and choking out it's alright, he just gave his drink some extra kick.

HOOO. that is LIQUOR sir.

"what's wrong, starshine? feeling nervous?"

so. swerve isn't much of a flirt funnily enough. mechs laugh at his jokes and he's gotten some great connections, but not nearly the time to actually go out of his way (or shell) to banter like that.

it doesn't help that not a lot take him seriously. :(

when you talk to him about the culture of bartending, you joke about whether or not he had to sweet-talk his frequenters for tips and such.

he looks so confused.

"huh? why would i? you come to a bar to.. drink. right?"

oh boy.

you laugh though pat his shoulder when he gives that tiny pout of his. and you have the brilliant idea to show him what you mean.

it turns into a bet. if you can casanova the armor of em you win! and he'll get to see you in your full element. that means one night, human bartending - which drags in a HUGE crowd.

swerve bumps into mech after mech, shooting a lazy set of finger guns before knocking his way up to the bar. why was it never this busy when he was tending?

maybe he should hire the human. they certainly got some flair. for business purposes, of course. not like he's been thinking about them in the middle of the night staring up at the ceiling still as a statue. that would be weird. and creepy.

is it hot in here? it's definitely hot.

he eases himself on a stool. it feels funny being on the receiving end for once.

imagine his surprise when he spots you effortlessly zipping around, making drinks and finding him in the crowd! that look in your smaller optics sparkle and he feels the ship shift. is he having a spark attack? maybe premature crisis.

"hiya, handsome. the regular?"

he doesn't even look down at the glass you set before him, but it's his favorite engex mix and you remember, you remember what he likes. frag. you are a real sparkthrob.

"haha, already starting with the show, huh? you're gonna have to do better than that if you wanna prove your point."

it doesn't take a detective to sense how nervous he sounds. or an magnifying glass, because his gaze is a little focused on where your aft would be. your mech suit is real nice. there's orange and yellow accents, dark coal mesh barely visible between rivets of armor.

sometimes in the shower he thinks about how you'd look as a cybertonian. you'd probably be just as hot.

hot galaxy babe. ha. so he's a hopeless romantic and a xenophile.

"you're my favorite customer, swervey. just admit it feels nice to be pampered. big, hard-working mech deserves a little treat now and then."

then you toss that impish look over your shoulder, shaking two steel mixers together. the motion is standard. up, down, up down, up down, shake shake.

your grip is firm and confident on the equipment. your fingers can't really fit fully around the circumference.

he gulps.

"y-you're not slick. nuh-uh-uh. takes a lot more than saucy words from a pretty thing to get this motor running."

"oh. so you'd like me to demonstrate? i am a hands-on learner."

"this kind of talk wouldn't fly around here for long, sweetspark. makes me kind of jealous - you doing this for all the crew? cause i gotta tell you, there's some reaaaal bastards--"

thank primus it's loud in here. you don't help you know, tipping over the bar with a wry grin.

something pops into his mouth. an energon cube. raw.

"then it's good i just like teasing you."

you slide down about four drinks along the metallic table. swerve wonders if love at first sight is truly like the movies.

"tell you what. these drinks? on the house. and if you stick around.. i can teach you some chemistry outside of just making a damned good cocktail."

steam whistles out his vents.

..........

yeah. you won.

[shitty-mechs-headcannons]

i adore that he has different eyeballs for different occasions.

-mod wil

tim can take his eyes out of his eyesockets without too much pain and he mostly does it to scare normal people on whatever planet they land on (they're connected to his brain with wires so he can't fully separate them but it still looks disturbing)

Jdkcjdkfj I love that and I'd love to see art of this. Calling all stowaways please

-mod wil

[eye-catching-tma-headcanons]

Submit your Magnus Archives & Magnus Protocol headcanons!

Only rule is nothing super NSFW (exception for body horror/horror adjacent to your average TMA fear stuff)

Go crazy! Can’t wait for this to Spiral out of control

Inspired by @questionable-chnt-hc and @shitty-mechs-headcannons

[spiritshaydra]

Aw hell yeah it’s Spit’s Soundwave Headcanons time, NOW ITS TIME TO GET FUNKY

Currently suffering a very annoying cold on the one week of my college semester where I’m actually off, so I guess it’s time to unleash my Very Bad Goofy Aah And Kinda Angsty Headcanons For The Sweeb; because not only am I physically ill I’m also very ✨mentally ill✨🥰 a double whammy if you will. (Meant to post it earlier so I no longer have a nasty cold nor am I on break still. 😔)

Heres some of my other shitty headcanon posts! Here and here

LETS BEGIN SHALL WE?

Soundwave is the Nemesis’s resident shitty cryptid. He’s like having a black cat live in your house that’s also twenty three feet tall and made of metal. He has the whole shebang down to an art: he will stare at you judgmentally from across the room, has the horrible ability to practically materialize out of the shadows without warning despite being a giant space robot, is completely silent but is fully capable of making the Worst Noises Known To Man if he so desired, will be found where you least expect it, and he may or may not be the type to do a horrible skitter in the unholy hours of the night.

There’s also cases of him being petty in a sort of “nobody would ever believe you” sort of way, such as knocking things off of someone’s (Starscream’s) desk.

Belling him like a cat might solve the whole “sneaking up out of nowhere” problem, however good luck on actually SUCCEEDING in that. Plus, it would get in the way of him being y’know, a spymaster.

Dude likes stray cats. <3

Gonna also say that he’s a fan of Hatsune Miku because ???? Yes

He doesn’t like direct prolonged eye contact and will take it as a threat or challenge. This is even more evident in the extremely rare instances where he’s unmasked, as he will never look someone in the eyes in that circumstance. One thing he does do when unmasked is that he’ll tilt his head to his blindside to be able to see with his functional optic better. (He’s fully blind on the damaged side of his face.)

He never sits normally and will instead crouch or perch on things as a substitute. There’s no logic to it other than it’s what he finds comfortable apparently.

He is a massive shitlord. And a pretty passive aggressive one at that. He may be quiet and not the most social, but he is absolutely not a submissive or shy individual.

I bestow (one of) the highest honor I can give upon him: ✨aro/ace spectrum✨ or bust baby!!1!1! Or at least ace. This dude wouldn’t be able to tell if someone tried romancing HIM specifically unless they straight up said so. He also just,, doesn’t really think about those sorts of things either and has no interest whatsoever. If hit on, he’s just going to squint at the offender in question before going back to work (in most circumstances at least)

✨robot autism✨ (the other highest honor I can give)

Wavewave hostility. Yeeeeaaaah he’s indifferent towards Shockwave at the BEST. It’s Wave on Wave violence at worst. (TO BE FAIR, the scientist doesn’t give him much thought in return) He’s not going to be charitable towards the mech who experimented on his cassettes (when they were alive-) behind his back. Sooo,,, they are very much not “friends”. To say that he wasn’t ecstatic that Shart had survived the Spacebridge explosion would be one way to put it.

Besides really simple repairs and other quick fixes, he absolutely hates being in the medbay; to the point where out of any of the members of the Nemesis crew, he’s the one wearing the badge of “#1 worst patient ever “ (with what could be described as pride.) Anything involving removing the visor for repairs is like pulling teeth, and any major damage repairs goes straight to hell to the point where he’s actually had to be subdued at least once or twice. Usually it’s also a two person team sort of ordeal with Knockout doing the complicated medical procedures while Breakdown’s providing backup. Nobody involved enjoys it in the slightest. Hence the worst patient ever award.

He has the tendency to hide in hard to reach places like up in the rafters. Never to get out of doing his work, as he’s a workaholic, but more so to avoid meetings with those he despises, some medical things, and sometimes just to decompress. Normally this could just be attributed to some of his weird quirks, and it’s completely harmless, until it isn’t. The bad thing about this, is that he will try to hide when gravely injured instead of going to the medbay. Generally you could find him by following the energon splatters and looking for the dim purple glow among the shadows close to the ceiling of a storage room. Sometimes there’s energon dripping from the rafters. Usually if he does get badly hurt while on the field, he is to be escorted directly to the medbay so this doesn’t happen.

He had to be almost completely rebuilt some time during the war on Cybertron. We’re talking the almost complete destruction of his frame. There’s a reason why he doesn’t have the bulky heavier armored frame of his gladiator days, despite it likely being more useful in combat. I mean, who would willingly choose to get rid of their functional wrists? The ability to pronate one’s wrist is pretty useful I’d assume. (Look at his design in the show, the dude doesn’t have wrists :,D just really REALLY long forearms. He’s basically doing a more extreme case of raptor hands.) He was rebuilt with what supplies were on hand at the time, with modifications and adjustments being made until we get to what we see now. (Many modifications were made to up his fear factor, to unease targets in combat)

Before his face was destroyed in the Pits as a gladiator, he actually wore a half visor over his optics. Not out of necessity, but for the intimidation/fear factor it added to his gladiatorial matches. Oh the irony. In present day, it’s entirely out of necessity and out of security as well.

I see him as a stray cat sort of guy. I dunno, characters caring for stray cats in an alleyway gotta be one of my favorite genres.

Definitely would’ve been the kid that hisses at people in the hallway in high school. Definitely got the vibe imo

[gunpowder-tim]

i keep seeing the pink of your pfp and thinking you're shitty-mechs-headcanons

i dont even know what their pfp is tbh. i do also post shitty mechs hcs though. btw. jdhdkdhdkdb

[shitty-mechs-headcannons]

hiya, folks! If any of you are fans of Camp Here And There, take a trip over here! I'd love to see this blog get some love from our multifandom stowaways 💛💛💛

-mod wil

Please submit headcanons!

-this blog is made for the camp here and there community on tumblr to submit their headcanons on the series

-submissions can be anything from story impacting theories to quirks you think the characters have

-when sending in a headcanon, asks are preferred over submissions, but either will work

(This blog was inspired by @shitty-mechs-headcannons please please PLEASE check them out if you like the mechanisms or you’re looking for new music to go feral over)

[gunpowderdtim]

sometimes i think about the jonny illiterate discourse. i personally, have a heavy stake in its creation.

for my ex created when we were in vc together. my ex, who was then fifteen, but is also kinda racist in retrospect, very anti-gun control, told me to misgender when we broke up (?) and generally thought trans men were creepy. that was this ex. they sent the ask to shitty-mechs-headcanons. it was them. they did this. why does it keep coming up can we just let the jonny is illiterate thing die. im 20 now can we just. can we move on from 2020 covid brainrot shit my ex came up with. why do people keep reviving it.

[terrible-owl-house-headcannons]

This is the start of The Terrible The Owl House Headcanons blog, just send in your headcanond regardless of terribleness

@shitty-mechs-headcannons @questionable-chnt-hc @hazbinhotelhc

[moonsanoverthinker]

Thanks for the response to my jewelry hc ask! I love all the subtle allegiances being showcased. For another. Hair dye headcanons please? I've got a couple but they tend to verge into au territory

This is one I’ve not thought too much about, so expect some rambles (I say that like it’s not a reoccurring theme) And I enjoy making head cannon stuff so feel free to suggest others!

Again all of these are based off vibes with zero evidence!

Jon- 100% dyed his hair in uni at least once, it wasn’t a good dye job but it was fine…(sections of the back weren’t dyed at all) This purely comes from the fan chosen canon of the Mechs being Jon’s uni band (one of my favourite AO3 tags) Also under that same uni shitty hair dye jobI just imagine him with like sections in different colours but not because it’s intentional, like there’s a part that’s red and another that’s blue and some of it’s black which he claims is intentional but it’s clearly not.

Martin- Likes the thought of dying his hair but doesn’t like the change of committing to it. Actually no he did dye it once but it was barely any different so no one notice, plus it was semi-permanent hair dye so it washed out after two weeks. The others did manage to convince him to use those spray hair colour things during Halloween so he got to enjoy the colours without the commitment.

Sasha- I’ve got two main ideas for Sasha so bear with me folks. Idea one is that she has the remnants of a hair colour still showing through despite dying over it multiple times, like how red somehow shows through in certain lights. Idea two is that she dyes the ends of her hair fun colours and claims it’s still professional looking because it’s not her whole head. Also side note, the NotSasha had the same hair dye colour as original Sasha but the shades never seem to match, they’re always off somehow.

Tim- I’ve split this into different versions of him because reasons. Series 1 would dye his hair all the time, whatever colour he fancied at the time he’d do it, Sasha also encouraged him and would sometimes help him and he didn’t care if it looked ‘unprofessional’ because of the colour. Series 2 would dye his hair occasionally but not as much so the colours usually faded before he changed them, NotSasha would encourage him but there wasn’t the enthusiasm anymore and she stopped helping him but he didn’t know why. Series 3 still has the last hair colour from series 2 but it’s faded and mostly grown out until he just decided to dye over it all in a more ‘natural’ colour because he didn’t want to deal with it anymore.

Basira- Again two thoughts so bear with. Thought one is she split dyed her hair at least once, possibly the whole of one side and then the whole of the other side. But thought two is she split dyed it but only did the ends, so it was like a half and half dip dyed ends vibe, that she lets fade but the faded colours are a vibe and just look really nice, sometimes she has the bright colours but it varies.

Melanie- Whole head dyed one colour, and it’s definitely not a natural colour. She’s used to freelance work so she’s not always needed it to be ‘professional’ looking in terms of colours so she kept it the same colour when she started working at the institute. Elias told her to change it but she refused and told him to fuck off, then proceeded to dye it an even brighter colour.

Georgie- She again dyed her hair once or twice in uni (better dye job than Jon’s) then she just dyed it more natural colour then left it for a while, but she did dye the underneath section of her hair a colour so it wasn’t noticeable from certain angles unless she put her hair up or had it sitting a certain way.

Daisy- Okay so I’ve got a thought for this so again bear with. So Daisy has dip dyed hair, but it’s like a dark reddy purple kind of vibe, and when the hunt starts to be more present it’s pretty vibrant / obviously dyed but when she goes through her trying to fight it stage it fades over time and then when she feeds into it again the colour comes back (I don’t know how this would work but let’s not think too hard about that)

Elias- I don’t know why but all I can think of is this man with a single section like strip that he’s dyed white himself. Also 1. Would he get grey hairs because of the whole technically being really old thing? And 2. Does he dye over them…

[shitty-mechs-headcannons]

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[high-voltage-rat]

The SDF Reliant crew have lowkey just become pseudo-OCs for me at this point. That's kinda what happens when characters have so few appearances in canon, but I still find it really funny how much I've just said "my city now". I decided I want to yell about them, so here's some of the headcanons I've come up with.

In mechquest, houses are the big question all GEARS students grapple with. My HCs on this front, based on vibes and fleshed out with added headcanons:

Starbuck originally kind of just joined Wolfblade because he wanted to look badass, but then found that the house of leaders who value helping others really fit with his love of mentoring other students. It was actually Xaria that convinced him to be bold and apply for his TA position with Denara- which he is forever thankful for.

Sally tends to throw herself into everything she does 100%, burning short and bright. She's prone to hyperfixation- eating the same thing for weeks on end until she gets sick of it, investing herself in yet another hobby that will end up in the hobby graveyard, etc. She wanted people who would match her intensity, so she joined Wolfblade. Now whenever she gets into another rabbit hole she usually is able to find a fellow housemate to "yes, and" her. This is only SOMETIMES a problem.

Dooder, as a certified chill jokester, was naturally drawn to Mystraven. He firmly believes in the importance of fun, and is always finding ways to drag the rest of the crew into relaxing and enjoying themselves every now and then. Sometimes that's a mini prank war, sometimes it's "accidentally" buying too much pizza to eat by himself, sometimes it's dragging everyone to a night out at the SC Lounge.

River doesn't actually know why she felt drawn to Runehawk, at first. Sure, she's always been a bit more nerdy than some of her friends, but she's not really as intensely academic as others in the house. She ends up very glad she joined, however. While she initially didn't put much stock in the house system at all, after the crystal asteroid incidents she discovers she has latent psychic abilities that she has no idea how to regulate. With the help of fellow Runehawks' research, she eventually learns to control her powers and bolster her already impressive piloting skills via their signature mana drive.

In my fic, I also don't plan on having my hero doing 5 different careers: Ravyn is a neurologist AND actively doing another degree, they don't have time to be delivering pizza. Instead:

Dooder works for Mecharoni- he finds the actual pizza-making pretty meditative, and any time customers are assholes he just amps up his chill demeanor until it's genuinely off-putting to whoever he's dealing with. He's the kind of guy who writes jokes or does drawings on the inside of your pizza box.

Sally works alongside the SPD as a conflict meditor and harm reduction support staff. Mostly, she thinks Chief Duncan is an idiot, and decides she can do a better job herself- so she sticks herself into his business and does. She also regularly does supply runs and odd jobs for all the businesses around Soluna- she's weirdly good friends with H.A.L.

River volunteers at the hospital sometimes, but more prominently works for the museum or with Mysterious Johnson to catch ghosts. She regularly invites the others to join her on museum jobs- and they eventually start investigating dusty old ruins together as group bonding 'field trips' whenever they have the chance between missions.

Starbuck has his TA job, and he's very happy with it, but in his early years he also worked for Mecharoni, and also did a brief stint as a stockboy for the Knife and Spork.

Some additional miscellaneous HCs:

Dooder tends to "pack bond" pretty easily- he actually tends to personify his mech, telling it that he loves it and regularly polishing it up nice. Sometimes he sings to it. He cries when it gets damaged and will mourn when it is eventually destroyed. He's had the same shitty pillow since he was like 9 and it's totally flat by this point, but he can't throw it out because it's always been by his side and he doesn't want it to feel abandoned. He would absolutely create stabby the roomba.

Due to the previously mentioned hobby graveyard, Sally has a lot of hidden talents she can whip out at a moment's notice to impress people. She's taken a course in mixology, she did a brief stint in cake decorating, she can knit and crochet and embroider pretty well, she knows how to do carpentry and plumbing, she's done dance lessons in break, ballroom, swing, salsa, tap, highland, ballet- even a few niche cultural dances from other planets. You name a hobby, and there's a 50% chance she's tried it.

River was a track and field star before she attended GEARS. Her long-distance running game was always top-tier, but she also regularly placed podium in sprints and relay events. She finds running to be good for clearing her head, so it's her go-to whenever she's stressed. One can tell how hard a week she's been having based solely on how much time she's spent on the treadmill.

Starbuck really loves giving people (and their mecha) nicknames and callsigns- the second he meets someone he starts watching for inspiration for their new title. Sally's callsign is 'Apple Core' (because of her regular consumption of the fruit in question, plus insisting she's hardcore), River's is 'Bubbles' (a play on her name, plus a joke after she burped loudly over all-hands comm), Dooder's is, much to his displeasure, just 'Dude' (though not enough displeasure to accept the alternative of 'Doughboy').

Sally runs competitive arm wrestling tournaments (mostly populated by Wolfblades). She manages the betting pools, and always throws her hat in the ring, too- only to be obliterated every time. Defeat only makes her try harder next time.

Dooder doesn't like to sing in front of other people- unless he's drinking, then he just won't stop. He has a really nice voice, but gets embarrassed if anyone tries to bring up his singing to compliment it. Everyone always looks forward to him pulling up to karaoke nights at the SC lounge.

Starbuck is notoriously bad at drawing- during his tutorials, any time he attempts to draw something on the blackboard, students make a game of "guessing" what he's trying to do like a game of pictionary. He's actually considered using stencils, but "Starbucktionary" has become too beloved, and the students would riot if he did.

River is a closet foodie. She cooks really well, but is a perfectionist who finds it very stressful, so doesn't do it very often. She's often on the hunt for new places to eat, though, and will try pretty much anything once. She keeps a notebook of reviews for different dishes at the places she frequents- though they're just for her personal benefit. She's still searching for the best steak in Soluna City.

[shittymalevolentheadcanons]

Hello all!! call me ebb! this is a blog for all malevolent headcanons of the silly, goofy, tragic, morbid, and all around entertaining sort. partly (mostly) inspired by similar blogs (thanks @shitty-mechs-headcannons and @questionable-chnt-hc)

this blog IS a work in progress as its an ungodly hour of night as I make it so expect updates and changes

my main is @unsat-and-strange if you want umm true chaos I guess

but for now? send me your thoughts >:)

[lord-squiggletits]

you asked for asks; if this serves as a useful distraction, in I Help My Husband ... To Order Takeout, is it an undiscussed cultural-differences thing (in that OP feels it's OK to order in for any kind of guests & M doesn't), or different-categorisation-of-guests thing (in that both of them are assuming takeout only for really close friends and family but A&A fall into that category for OP and not for M)?

(As a side-note, never have I sympathised so much with both parties in one of those kinds of domestic sillinesses; I am absolutely in the take-out-not-for-guests camp but also I have lived through the two-day whole-kitchen all-stress ordeal of my father deciding to Cook For Guests when my mother and I could have done it in a quarter of the time with 1% of the hassle...)

The fic in question

Hm, neither I think, the way I envisioned it was a conflict of personality traits/priorities between Megatron and Optimus with regards to personal image versus practicality?

A crucial part of how I went into that fic was with the headcanon that neither Optimus nor Megatron know how to cook (I think I mentioned this in the fic, but I've also discussed it in a different ask buried somewhere in my ask tag). The problem arises because Optimus is very practical and basically just wants the most economical solution that will lead to the best outcome, but Megatron is very prideful and likes presenting a very competent, "I am the best at everything I do" persona.

Optimus thinks that, since he and Megatron both suck at cooking, it would be better to order take-out so that way they provide food for their guests and don't have to worry about cooking food themselves that turns out to be shitty (or they kill each other/burn down the house while cooking). He doesn't understand why they HAVE to cook homemade food when a perfectly logical and less risky alternative is right there in front of them? And also Optimus knows (correctly) that Aileron and Arcee wouldn't even judge them for ordering takeout anyways so he doesn't see why Megatron's ego has to be involved.

Megatron on the other hand, thinks that ordering takeout would basically be an admission of incompetence (because what kind of mech doesn't know how to cook??? Ignoring that when he and Optimus are alone neither of them have any problem with it) and that the more impressive thing to do would be to cook something homemade. Not to mention, Arcee and Aileron are friends and not just any old chumps off the street, so that means Megatron is extra motivated to provide something good for them since he actually cares about their positive regard and wants to be at his best around them. You would think that being friends with someone would make Megatron MORE casual, but it actually doesn't really have an effect and being close with someone actually makes Megatron try harder, if anything.