#shittake mushroom

[shitpostroundhouse]

My very quick shit takes below:

He's acting insane to establish a plea of innocent "by reason of insanity." Though, maybe more likely to be found guilty "by reason of inanity."

He does suffer from some level of true mental derangement (likely), but only enough to rationalize his own nonsense as if it's based on reason and reality, and to evade the conflicts of logic, ethics, or facts within his worldviews.

He is gay, and has now broken his brain to explain how all men are gay. To completely paraphrase him, "If you (men) have sex for pleasure, then the only logical choice would be to have sex with men. Men are made for pleasure. Women are made for conceiving babies and carrying them to term. Men can just have sex with each other and not have kids, who'll just get on the way of all that terrific sex men men." (One point to his credit, what man wouldn't logically wish he were gay? Having access to others who a) know how to please you and b) have a sex drive based on testosterone. I wouldn't say that hetero sex for pleasure is gay. But gay sex between men is genuinely manly. Hey, if I found the right enthusiastic partner, who knows? But it's pretty late in the game. I don't think I could learn a whole new sport. I'm all conditioned into hetero activity with a partner I'm highly attracted to. Men generally don't attract me. I guess that just makes me pretty gay...)

He's on some trip about procreation being a primary purpose and motivator of straight men. Without that, they are gay. Or, "they may as well just go have sex with men, because women are for making babies, end of story."

He's just goofing around for internet points...

"What if he's right? What if we're all gay? Aaagghhhj! He's in my head! How did he know I'm gay?" Ah, his master plan... to make all other men gay to that he can impregnate more children, I mean impregnate more women with his spawn...

[donuts4evry1]

Jelly gijinkas vs their food of choice

[elenaferrante]

Delicious vegan ramen 🍜

[enter-the-darkness]

"Some Asians say its good, some Asians say its bad"

Where are the ones that say its GOOD? All I've seen are neutral and "interesting" (both of which are "I have a friend" and "someone on reddit once posted", not once have I had an actual AAPI person try to discuss this with other AAPI *and* have this stance), I have not once seen an AAPI say "Oh wow I'm glad "tulpa"mancers are using the term "tulpa"! It helps me and AAPI so much!"

If you have a group of people saying "this is actively hurting me!" and a group of people who say "this is not hurting me" and you choose to continue doing it because its "not hurting some people" then infer what that means about you yourself.

Tell me, what GOOD does white people appropriating and bastardizing the TERM "tulpa" do for AAPI? "Cultural Exchange" OK what did we get in return? Hm? What is the greater good that outweighs the damage done to justify using the term "tulpa"?

[thelostandforlorn]

From: The Garden

To: Home Base

Entry 92601AU:

It is May 6th, 2023 and I feel duped. The Earthlings began to use the term “rizz” and I, in fear of not fitting in, made sure to know what this word meant.

I began to use the Earthling-Creation by the name of Google, very rudimentary in comparison to our system the P̷̪̝̖͔̭̻̻̭͉͊͂́̀̏̆̉̽̾̋̅̒̽̓̽̅̂́͆̈́̅̈́̂̾̓́̌̿͐͂̇̄̚̚͜͝ơ̸̢̡̧̟̭̟̼͖̝̫̤̙̮͉̼̙̜̠͙̱̼͚͖̤͎̦͛̃́̍͑͗̀̔̓̂́͑̈́̃̎̆̀͂̓̇̌̌͋̊̕͘͜͝͠͠c̷̛̛͉̞͎̹̫̳͖͍̤̭̫͓̰͇̼̳͕̭̜̬̀̊̐̂̏̽̓̇̽̂́̓͗͐̐̚͠k̷̡͖͓̘̜̺̣͓̼̟̼̙͖̝̥̳̲͍̇̓́͋̅̋̀͒͗̀́̉̿̑͆͌̊̐̎̌́̍́͋̀͑̈́̕͘͜͠͝ͅͅͅé̵̛͉͙̺͕͔͕͖̀͋̓̒͂̐̂̈́̀̐̉̓̑̿̒͝t̸̢̧̧̨̙̠̥͕̹̼͙͔̲͍̼̝͚̘̺͚̳͙̥͚̺̄́̀ͅ ̷̧͍̳̟͚̦̝̹͈̄̏͌́̄͌̓̈͆̎ͅP̸̧̛͍̭̯̺̱̗̺̪̗͕̠͖̭̗͉̞̝̬͈͚̯̯̱̣͍͎̞̲̳̥̬̈́̍͐̊̑̇͒̍̋̀́̒̈́̐͗̍̇̏̏̀̈́̇́͑̈́̌̄̎̿̕̚̕͘͜͝͝i̵̧̛̛̫̝̞̳̝̳̬͉̭̙̟̺̦̻̝̰̼̲͑̂͌̍̊̒̀͂͌͐̄̊͆̒̎̎̓̓̓̅͑̽͋̅̇̔̕͘͜͜͠͝x̷̛̛͈̂͑̍͊̿̎̄͝͝į̴̢̡̤̼̯͕̩̗̩̙̘̩̭̯̺̖̞͈̥̜͕͍͖͖̫̥͎͗̐̽̅̄͒͆͜͝ͅͅͅȇ̷̛̗̯̠̳͔̖̜̙̤͕̱̝̊̒̾̿͂̅͌͛̈́̿̂̉͒͂̃̾̕͠, and happened upon its definition of highlighting the sapient quality of “charisma” - “rizz”.

I continue to scroll, I need examples, dammit! until I’m shown videos and I no longer need examples.

The Wheel croaked and came to a halt right in front of their eyes and no one seems to bat a lash.

And now, it begins to turn back.

However, they do have something here that perhaps might taste even better than we have there, a confection of the most unholiest sweetness that I desire in my unending quests from the Universal truth:

cinnabon—

That’s all for now, Base. This is Ş̸͖͖̫̳͕̫̫̯͕̰͇͙̣͗̿͂̉̓̋͋̔̾̑̐̚͝͠͝͝ï̸̢̢̤͓̙͈̪̲̮͈͇͔͖̩̩̲̖̺̪̠̹͕̝͍͆̈̇̏̊͑͛̀̊̃͑̂͊͗̈̆͆̅̈́̋͒̓̓͐̿̌̀́́̒͒̒͝ͅͅn̶͍̝̦̻̤̜̬̠̈́, I’ll reach out if there is more to be said, more to be done, but as for now.

blllllenk

[onehunnit]

okay FINE! I finally pre-ordered the album 😭

[matchasilver]

Mushroom in my heart for fungi...

Ink(y) caps, shittake, puffballs, and more(ls)!

[thatpacifictheatregirlie]

Other found family tropes are cool and all, but true found family comes when they add you to their health insurance.

Now that is an unrivaled commitment.

Like, "Yeah, I'll pay a bit every month of my entire life/have a bit of my pay deducted to go into a health insurance premium for the rest of the time I'm employed so that in the event you get injured or sick I'll be able to pay for help for you to get better."

*Disclaimer, I'm not in charge of insurance in my household. I've got a few more years before I have to finagle that, but I thought the idea was cute. This might be inaccurate to exactly how health insurance works (I'm basing it off of minimal research and things my parents have mentioned in the past). I just thought that including someone as a dependent in your health insurance is a major commitment, and aside from adoption, it's possibly one of the most major things you can do to show exactly how prepared you are to include this person in your entire future.

It's kind of just a way of saying, "I'm sticking with you, and I'm planning on sticking with you for a long, long time to come."

[mundaily]

August 10, 2023 | 222/365 - Braniac

[on-the-clear-blue]

Dead Man's Diner pt3

Dick knew that Tim was sending him looks every few seconds.

How could he not? This places food names were honestly the best, if this was some kinda murder cult Dick would be so disappointed.

Glancing up over the menu at Danny, Dick smiled at the teen who had been whipping down the same cup for five minutes like some wild west bartender while trying very hard not to stare at the two vigilantes.

"Okay, I think I have made up my mind, Red you got what you wanted?" Finally meeting Tim's eyes, Dick mentally winced, Tim's eyes were doing that twitchy thing that happened sometimes...

"Yes. I am." Dick understand slightly but like...the puns weren't that bad

Out of the corner of his eye Dick saw Danny pop up, nearly slamming the mug he had been holding as he fumbled with a note pad, coming closer to the two, he did a pretty decent customer service smile as he waited.

Since Tim was having a problem with words, Dick went first.

"So, I'll have some Boo-berry Poltergeist pancakes, with two sunny side up eggs and a side of bacon?" Dick watched as Danny paused for a moment, let out a little laugh and then started to write before looking to Tim.

"I will have...Ugh, the Wraith waffles with the hunting hashbrowns on the side...please." Dick had seen Tim look less pained over being stabbed than say the wonderful puns.

"Alrighty, anything to drink before I head back and get started on your order?" Holding up a coffee jug in one hand and an orange juice jug in the other, Danny gave a slight smirk.

Perhaps it was the coffee but Tim looked a bit less pained after that.

---

As he slapped down a few pieces of bacon, Danny totally didn't use his ghost powers to bring the bowl of pancake batter over closer as he scooped a ladle full on a freshly buttered side of the flat top, making sure it set first, Danny heard a beep from the frier, heading over he paused to see French fries in there as well.

Shaking his head, he dunked them all into the oil, and moved to set the timer only to see it already clicking down, "Oh um...thank you very much." Patting the deep frier, Danny moved back to the flat top as it let out a gurgling purr.

---

Tim took all of five seconds after Danny rounded the corner into the back of the house to start whispering

"Wing, this place is mocking me. Apple apparition pie? Haunting Hashbrowns? Ethereal fucking eggs benedict." Hissing Tim shifted in his seat, "like I would get it if this place was ghost themed but it very clearly isnt! It is mocking me because I know this place doesn't exist!" Slamming a fist down on the counter, it very much thudded.

Sharing a look with Tim, Dick placed a hand on Tim's shoulder, "Buddy...I agree there is something up with this place but...I very much think it exists? Since we are kinda sitting here."

Dragging his hand down his face with a groan Tim leaned back in his seat, "I know and it is infuriating me..." Grabbing the coffee mug Tim looked at it with a not insignificant amount of distrust before taking a swig, pausing, than taking another, much slower sip, holding the mug with both hands as he lowered it down, staring at the dark liquid with a small glare.

"Red? You okay? Is that the bad coffee look ot oh shittake mushrooms that was poisoned look?" Dick said worryingly, looking to the cup of orange juice that was in front of him with suspicion.

"N-no...I" Tim's words cut off as he took a breath, "Just...tastes just like the kind Mom used to drink, came from this little town in Chile they passed through..." staring at the cup a little longer Tim shook his head, "They closed a few years back, the farmer that made it got killed by a drug cartel that wanted him to plant coca rather than coffee, it's just that this place should very much not have this."

There was a tension between the two vigilantes, Dick moving to speak before being cut off by Danny quickly coming out from the back.

"Order up! Got two pancakes for Mr. Nightwing, side of bacon and eggs and two waffles for Mr. Red Robin with some hasbrowns!" Setting each plate down in front of said vigilante, Danny gave them both a grin.

"And a side of Phantom fries for both of you on the house!"

After refilling the little bit missing out of Tim's cup, Danny seemed to be to there one second and back in the kitchen a moment later.

---

"Phantom fries?" Danny whispered to himself as he started to clean off the griddle, a grin on his face as he did, he might of left the hero business, but oh God was it funny, he wondered if other people got the same fun out of it.

Checking out on he customers through the small window to the front, Danny felt his core thrum at the sight of the two eating, it was a different kind of thrum that he got while protecting people, this one...this one gave him a full body shudder and cleared a fog in his mind he didn't even he had.

Shaking his head, Danny tried not to let the purr building in his chest out.

---

Screw the worries that Tim had, Dick was having the time of his life.

"We can't tell the others about this place Red...Little wing would try and place it in the Alley and B might try and buy it cus holy guacamole this shit is good..." Dick had dug in after Tim's wrist mounted computer had tested the food for any known poisons which said that there weren't any, but still went and saved a few samples for further analysis at the Cave.

Dick didn't know why but the pancakes tasted like those that Alfred made the first week he had been at the manor, he had gotten upset at Brcue and hid in the attic all day, but Alfred managed to lure him down with the promise of blueberries in his pancakes.

They were perfectly fluffy, butter soaked with that little edge around it that was crunchy, the berries were tart enough to battle the maple syrup and...it was just like how Dick remembered.

Shaking his head as he finished up his food, Dick threw a look over at Tim, who was hunched over his empty plate, holding his mug of coffee closer, at Dicks questioning look the teen spoke.

"We have to leave Wing something is just...off about this place, its...they taste like when my dad used to make breakfast after coming home from a dig...has to be brain waves or mind reading or..." Tim continued to ramble on, ideas flowing out of him like a water fall.

By the time that Danny went back to check on the two, they were gone.

[folkartfern]

I painted these guys. 🥲MUSHROOMS IN BLUE!!! Gouache and colored pencil on watercolor paper. 9”x12”ish I think. Original painting available

[signofthree]

Quite literally the most beautiful and best dish I've ever made

[plural-culture-is]

hello, i saw that you take asks asking for advice? sorry this is gonna be kind of long-

so at some point (i have no idea when, i've always had a really bad sense of time lol. i think it was maybe almost exactly last year? idk lol) i started talking with a voice in my head (which i passed off as an imaginary friend), but over time they kind of. multiplied. and then i kinda went 'ah shittake mushrooms am i plural??'

initially i kinda went 'oh whatever' and didn't end up interacting much with (what i believe to be) my system for a while. if it's relevant, i ended up getting a concussion at the end of july and before that i was not having a funky fresh time in school so i kind of shoved plurality onto the back burner

then in december, my director made a passing joke about the possibility of me being plural during a rehearsal, and someone in the system (who doesn't wish to be named) said something to the effect of 'he doesn't know there's (i forget the number) of us' and i ended up spending the weekend obssessively researching plurality.

anyway- i've been treating it as if i was system for the past little while bc i'd rather be wrong than y'know. accidentally ignore real people that happen to share my brain. (when i don't accidentally think to myself that i'm probably not plural while talking to them-). and i guess i kinda want an external opinion?

-i do experience a lot of dissociation, and often don't feel like i'm me or that these hands are not mine, or that i'm not controlling myself and it's just some autopilot being on. this has been happening for as long as i remember. i also seem to have two handwritings, and have communicated with members of the system via journalling

-i did use to do competitive sports from a young age, which i hear can potentially cause undue stress/trauma to a child, so that could also be something?

-some of them (members of the system, we haven't decided on a term bc communication is spotty) do fit classic roles of a system. most notably is there's one that continually keeps me from doing things that could harm myself and helps 'protect' me from intrusive thoughts

-when i discovered apparently people remember shit and the brain doesn't just dump it like an hour later, that surprised me. i'm still in my teens, but i genuinely do not remember much about... anything tbh. the term 'gray out' honestly explained a lot for me

-i have aphantasia, but the system insists there's a headspace. some of them make fun of me for 'being blind in headspace', but i think they're also helping?? me with the aphantasia, since recently i've been able to see shadowy outlines of stuff they 'airdrop' to me. this includes waking me up by bombarding me with the word 'boo' zooming at my face when i was half asleep.

-sometimes i can feel them like, hugging me or comforting me

-i also do feel some sort of presence in there, and can sometimes pinpoint where certain members are. i also seem to be unable to access the 'back half' which is apparently intentional so.

i mean there's probably more but my memory is not great lol. typing this out does make me feel a bit more like this is real and i'm not misinterpreting things (i do have a very active imagination, hence why i initially went 'ah late imaginary friend having'). but i'd still like an external opinion, so thanks for taking the time to read this half rant that is way longer than it should be haha

yes, i do think you're plural. i have nothing else to say lol, all of that sounds very plural and it seems like you already know that anyway

[gbveryspecialguests]

Lizzy: Ok! We got Madame Doom! Now we have to find the others.

Matt: They could be scattered around Horrorland! If we only we have a shortcut…

Sam: Hm? Miss Lizzy? Why is your pocket glowing?

Lizzy: Huh?

Lizzy: Wait - This is one of the pocket horrors we got back then! How is it still here? And why is it glowing?

Ray: Strange - When we have them, they look like figurines - And they definitely don’t have that red drawing there!

Lizzy: Looks like.. A sigil?

Ray: Just why is it glowing like that?

Ray: Oh.. Because of this portal…

AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

OOFPH!

Matt: Crud - Are you kids ok?

Ray and Sam: Yeah…

Lizzy: Ugh… Wait - I see Robby! And Carly Beth and Sheena!

Ray: And there’s Marco! And Jessica!

Robby: GUYS?! WAIT - THE OOZE!

Matt: Huh?! Yeah, I know you’re a fan -

Robby: NO! I MEAN - WATCH OUT!

Matt and Lizzy: Oohhhh… Shittake Mushrooms.

[the-jellicle-duelist]

i was trying to find your recipe to verify the steps i have memorized and I figured it out. tumblr has actually blocked the posts where you explain how to make shittakes (pictured) and their family very deliciously. "redirecting" goes to random other posts, if I had to guess it's picking a post with a similar timestamp. tumblr doesn't understand that I'm not getting high i just want to enjoy a delicious meal.

ANYWAY. thanks again. the only thing I'm not sure about is the temps for each step (no oil, then w a little oil) and whether the shittakes go in the pan cold. they turned out really good this time tho I think there's enough flexibility in the recipe that it doesn't matter a ton, can you confirm? like, I probably should've used a little less heat/time on these since they started out feeling drier than my usual buttons--it's my first time with shittake, I never find them in the grocery store.

if you ever wrote a recipe book or started a blog or podcast about cooking I would be your biggest fan. just so you know. hope you're doing well.

once again i tried to find this post but i cannot even tho i swear i included other tags so i could find it again but of course either i can’t remember the tags or tumblr is just being bad

for shiitakes specifically i would recommend quite counter intuitively to add them to a heated sauté pan and then add barely enough water to cover the bottom of the pan, and then cook it until it goes away

shiitakes specifically can just evaporate into nothing after you remove the water. this way, you get the benefit of breaking down the cell walls without them losing everything they have. especially the thinner shiitakes.

the next time you use them try cutting them into quarters or into 6ths (cut in half on the longest side, and then turn it 90 degrees and cut each half into 3rds) depending on the size of the caps to get chunkier pieces. i think the texture is nice this way and it’s more forgiving than thin slices which many recipes will have you do.

generally speaking you will have faster results with higher heats at all steps (preheating the pan some before any mushrooms go in, and moderate heat afterwards) but you don’t gotta use high heat, a solid medium ish will get you there

thank you for asking questions!!

[kiankiwi]

Storytime with Elvis

(So this isn’t part of any of the AUs or really based on anything; it was just an idea that was begging to be written. Apologies if it seems a little unpolished in spots; I sort of wrote this on a whim. I sure hope you like it!)

Erin was in a panic.

At first, the morning had been going well; the Cozy Corner bookstore had opened as usual, and the usual amount of customers had been milling around the place. 

But today was a special day. 

Dr. Seuss himself was going to be making a visit to the bookstore to do a storytime of his books “Green Eggs and Ham” and “The Cat in the Hat” for a local charity to support literacy in young children. Local families had been piling in with their kids for the last hour, putting 20 dollars (or whatever they could afford) into the donation box in order to get in. The special chair had been set up and everything. Now, all they had to do was wait for him to arrive. 

The problem was, he was running late. He was supposed to arrive at 12:30, and it was almost 1 pm. Erin had been told he was a punctual man, and preferred to just get in and out, so this didn’t seem like him to be running this far behind.

Then suddenly, about 20 minutes before the storytime was set to begin, Laura (one of the bookstore’s employees) came rushing up to her boss with the phone in her hand, looking panicked. Erin was readjusting some books on a shelf, trying to keep herself busy.

“Miss Erin? We’ve got a problem.”

“What is it?”

“Um…Mr. Seuss isn’t coming.”

Erin nearly dropped the stack of books she was holding.

“Wait, what? Laura, this isn’t the time for jokes right now; I’m on edge as it is.”

“Boss, trust me, I wish I was joking. His agent just called; apparently he’s got a sore throat this morning. He thinks he’s got the flu, so he can’t make it in.”

Erin banged her fist on the nearby bookshelf; she nearly swore, but just barely managed to keep it in when she remembered there were several little kids around.

“Ugh, shi—shittake mushrooms! Why did he have to cancel right before he was supposed to come here? He couldn’t have called us yesterday?!”

Sighing, she tried to compose herself and figure out what to do.

“Okay, okay, okay. I think first, we have to tell the audience there’s been a problem and that he’s not coming. You start giving the donations back—“

Suddenly, a male voice cut in as she felt a tap on her shoulder.

“Excuse me, miss?”

Erin turned around to see a dark-haired man in sunglasses and a purple suit looking at the two of them; he had a bunch of flashy-looking rings on his fingers and carried a cane in his right hand, and seemed to be accompanied by a few other men.

Flustered, Erin tried to step out of the way.

“Oh, sorry, did you guys want to get by?”

“No, it’s just…hang on a sec, I can’t see with these damn things on—“

The man took off his glasses, and Laura let out a gasp; Erin looked at him in shock as she finally recognized him.

She couldn’t believe it. Elvis Presley himself was standing in her bookstore. 

He continued, “Miss, I’m sorry, but I—I kinda came in here with my guys on a whim, and I couldn’t help overhearing. Is something wrong?”

Erin sighed; at this point, she reasoned, she had no reason to lie to him.

“Well…yes. See, you probably saw the signs outside about the storytime for charity today, and, well—“

“And the special guest ain’t showin’ up?”

“No. And right now we’re not sure what to do. I mean, I hate to disappoint everyone who showed up, but I guess the best choice is for us to just give the money back.”

Elvis scratched his chin for a minute, looking at Erin’s nametag.

“Miss…Erin? What books was he supposed to read, if you don’t mind me askin’?”

Erin looked a little surprised at the question. “Uh, just “Green Eggs and Ham” and “The Cat in the Hat”. Why?”

“Well, I was thinkin’…Maybe I could do it? That way, you don’t have to give the money back. I mean, I’ve read these books to my guys’ kids a million times; I pretty much know ‘em by heart at this point.”

Erin looked shocked. “A-Are you sure?”

He shrugged. “Yeah, it’s no big deal. No reason to disappoint these people if ya don’t have to. Besides, I ain’t got nowhere to go for a bit.”

One of the guys behind him cut in, “Wait, boss, don’t you gotta be at the studio today?”

“Nah, not till three; besides, it ain’t gonna kill ‘em if I push it back an hour or two.”

Erin and Laura shared a glance, before shrugging. Laura spoke up.

“Uh, well, okay, if you want to, you’ve got it. I gotta say, though, we can’t really pay you much; we’ve only got about like 2 grand for—“

Elvis cut her off. “Don’t you worry about that right now; just tell me where I’m supposed to go.”

Still confused, and trying to figure out if this was really happening, both Erin and Laura led him to the curtain right behind the “stage” where the reading chair was. Laura, bewildered and nervous, came out to announce the “special guest”.

“Okay, well…um, due to an unforseen circumstance, unfortunately Dr. Seuss couldn’t make it today, but a, uh…a special guest has kindly volunteered to take his place to read today, and, um, to add to the fun, I’m…not gonna tell you who it is! Uh, so, uh, Mystery Guest, come on out!”

Erin sighed and slapped her forehead at how unprofessional the whole thing sounded, but Elvis seemed to not even notice as he walked out, causing a small stir among the moms and dads sitting in the audience; it seemed they were as surprised as the bookstore employees that the great Elvis Presley was going to be reading to them and their kids.

He gave a small bow and his usual cheeky, charming smile, before sitting down in the reading chair and picking up “Green Eggs and Ham”. He read with all the care and excitement of an experienced storyteller, even pausing to show the kids the illustrations in the book; Erin couldn’t help but laugh when he pointed out one picture and told the kids, “Now, see, he was gonna punch Sam-I-Am, but he walked away. That’s what you do when you’re mad, you don’t hit people; you just walk away with it.”

Erin smiled; she couldn’t help but think this storytime was turning out to be much better than they’d ever expected.

*****

This was so unique and cute! Thank you for writing it!!! <3 @arianatheangel-girl you’re so talented