#shit my fiance says
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My fiance just now: "I'VE CRACKED THE CODE. Seymour is an anguisette and he should have married the dentist!"
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i feel like it's pretty safe to assume the people who say Chaggie is toxic because of Vaggie's attachment to Charlie haven't really been deeply in love before, especially not in a situation where their partner literally saved their life.
Sure a dynamic like that could go sour if you become too overbearing/demanding or controlling out of fear of losing them, but Vaggie is very obviously not that?
I can't exactly put the feeling into words, it's sort of a situation you have to experience in order to understand. But when you owe someone your life, especially when it feels that person is also your soulmate, of course you dedicate the rest of it to making them happy and giving unyielding support. Of course you feel like you owe them the world, because they're your whole world and the only reason you're even still here.
Yes it can create a power imbalance and your partner could take advantage of the obsessive loyalty that level of dependency breeds, but Charlie chooses not to because shes not abusive and she respects and loves vaggie.
Charlie recognizes that Vaggie has self worth issues and places her value in how useful she is to her, and instead of making it into a toxic situation charlie takes the time to reassure vaggie that she doesn't need to be 'proving' herself and that she is loved and valued as she is.
#Idk chaggies dynamic mirrors me and my fiance of 10+ yrs so I'm biased and will b blocking ppl that say dumb shit probably lol#Yes it can become toxic very easily if either party chooses to make it that way but if you truly love your partner you simply#Don't? Take advantage of them?? And both parties of chaggie very clearly respect and love eachother.#And as time goes on it'll be easier for Vaggie to believe her worth outside of her relationship and accept herself#idk I see some of the discourse abt this and it's like. /SO/ clear you guys don't get it.#And that's fine bc it's really not something you can truly get if you haven't gone through it yourself#But idk how you can say with your whole chest that either Vaggie or Charlie are taking advantage of eachother#Tumblr is all for supporting ppl that are struggling until it comes down to people who actually heavily depend on that support
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man... im constantly wanting to talk about this one weird new flavour of homophobia that intersects with pluralphobia and the current Moral Panic about art on this site but i know for sure im gonna get dunked about it which is, yknow, the entire problem. but it effects our life and how we navigate social spaces in a massive way so it feels like its a thing that should be talked about in fictive spaces. because were people and not characters. im like almost brave enough but every time i go to type something i chicken out lol. but i also kinda wanna vent about it
#caw caw#it basically boils down to like. can i have my real life 12 year relationship in peace w/o some rando panicky other fictive#screaming OMG. OMG PROBLEMATIC. like i.......#im..... we're not a ship..... thats my fiance..........#and its massively uncomfortable whenever other fictives view me and my - again - 12 year long relationship purely through a ship lens#like gross dude. thats really weird. get outta my house#the fandomification of real people is really weird and uncomfortable. im literally just some guy#if that shit isnt okay to say to nonfictives then it isnt okay to say to fictives. its just classic homophobia with a few extra flourishes#our t
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absolutely loveeeee when i can’t sleep because i’m plagued with the feeling that i’m the worst person to walk this earth 🤭
#feeling like the biggest piece of shit in the world <3 anyways#this is stupid but. i just need to get this shit out#getting bad grades on finals right after my friends do nothing to celebrate my birthday is so fun#that sounds so superficial but !!!! i’ve done something for. every. one. of. their. birthdays. over the last year#it just makes me sad because it confirms i AM and always will be the second choice friend#i feel like my fianc hates me all the time right now too but. that comes with the self deprecation me think#and to top it off my doctor says i’m f*t so 🥳 i hateeeeee myself#i just need to cry. sowwy#sitting in bed crying silently because i can’t do anything right <3
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I stand by the fact that Elliott Stardew Valley is not annoying, but just really delightfully weird, and that if his portrait wasn't drawn like he was cosplaying the Prince Adam from Beauty and the Beast, he would be much better.
#kogoramble#he reminds me of my fiance#he just wants to write and drink two gallons of beer and say weird shit#and it's fucking delightful#you go elliott#you rate that sand on a scale from 1 to 10 and then tell me without shame how you're becoming a connoisseur
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they left my poor guy rowing all the way back to the city ;o;
#uwe spoilers#tani's personal shit#to be fair if a pseudo blond bitch rubbed on my face that my fiance is now his wife and then left me in the middle of the ocean#well lets just say i wouldnt blame him if the fox lady tried to turn him evil or whatever#unicorn warriors eternal
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hate my sister's shitty good for nothing boyfriend. can you imagine being a 30yo man with two kids who won't even scramble an egg. Not for his kids, not for his girlfriend, not for himself. literally if my sister doesn't leave out pre-made meals when he's watching the kids he will rip up bread or pour them dry cereal or open a granola bar and make himself microwave dinners. like, lowest effort possible. but if i mention this to my sis, she'll be like "no he's definitely cooked for the kids! he scrambled an egg for them once! i watched him do it!" but it's like...so he scrambled one egg in the last five years. just to like, prove he can? at your direct insistence? should we all clap? like seriously. hate this guy. had to really hold back recently because he had someone over and he was interacting with the kids more than usual for appearances, and he had to keep asking me and my sis what the 5yo was signing because he barely bothered to learn his own son's primary form of communication. i was so tempted to say "that one means 'go home' but you wouldn't know that because you don't take them anywhere." so hard to hold that in. If I had to describe this man in two words they would be these: Low Effort. Not quite bare minimum, but JUST enough to convince my sister that it would be too much hassle to get rid of him. he's stupid as fuck, but just smart enough to quickly stop shit like screaming obscenities at the kids for doing normal kid things. and he once stomped on my headphones and broke them in a fit of rage, but gave my sister money to replace them so it was "fine." Like, my sister thinks that he's just struggling with his anger issues, because he had a bad childhood, blah, blah, and oh he would never actually hurt her or the kids. and like, good for you, but i don't trust like that. genuinely hoping he gets struck by lightning and dies instantly.
#my sister and i do all the hard stuff and most of the easy stuff too tbh#cooking and cleaning and sorting out benefits and insurances and getting the kids to school and events#doctor's appointments and medications and dentist appointments and taxes#we get the groceries and care for all the pets and kids and household things#we both have jobs#i actually have 3 jobs#good for nothing boyfriend makes $12 a year plus some under the table cash as a “private trainer”#which means between that and selling his plasma and borrowing money from his mom he can...pay his super cheap tiny part of rent#and occasionally hand my sister like $20#he doesn't buy groceries or diapers or household supplies or clothing or toys or literally anything#literally the only household chore he does is fold laundry#that's it. and it's not “DO” laundry. it's just folding the clean and dry stuff#you know. the chore my parents would have us do when we were like 10 so we'd feel helpful#the 5yo is medically complex and we frequently make trips to a slightly distant hospital with him#and they literally asked us to stop bringing my sister's boyfriend along because he was disruptive and confusing#which was a polite way to say 'obnoxious and stupid as shit'#do you know how many times in one visit w/the same doctor he would ask 'so when does he get superpowers?'#he also obviously didn't know how to answer basic questions like 'how many times does he poop a day on average'#and 'how often has he been eating and what has he been eating day to day?'#like bro this man can go days without changing a diaper and will not even heat up a can of spaghettios to feed his own kids#he cannot answer those questions with any kind of accuracy#also i'm saying boyfriend because my sister desperately wanted to at least be engaged so she could say fiance in front of ppl#but just like marriage this was apparently a 'waste of effort'#not even the cheapest ring or the most underwhelming proposal or a courthouse wedding was worth his energy so...#yeah glad she hasn't married this waste of air. and i'll be praying for that lightning strike
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fiance got me a kindle for my birthday <3
#val comes out of hiding#with a case and a grip strap (that interferes a little with the case but i'm making it work lol)#it'll be great for my arthritic sad poor hands lmao#and i can download ebooks to it! including fic <3#so like i have backup copies of my bookmarks and i threw them all on there#and threw one I planned to read on there too which i rb'd a few mins ago#it's great because we tend to be into those huge fantasy novels that I 0% can hold and take up a shit ton of space#like bringing brando sando books with me while traveling has been a PAIN lmao#now all i need is a battery pack to make sure it doesn't die. which is its own downside of course#and it means I can pirate so many ebooks. my god so many.#anyway to start with i think i'm gonna go back thru and re-read all my bookmarked fics i haven't read in a while#i'm quite stingy about bookmarks so they're all good (tho i have a soft spot for fluff in hindsight lol)#maybe i'll make a detailed rec post when i'm done?#in regards to fic too though I need to reach out to someone and say sorry for not being a very responsible beta.you know who you are.sorry:#but tangentially related; last night I had one of those core memory moments#it was bed time and fiance was snoozing half-asleep and i was reading fic on the kindle which works great in the dark btw. so dim#and i got up maybe 3 times in 30 mins or so go to the bathroom; get shit i forgot in the other room; etc etc#he's a light sleeper so he tends to wake up a lil#at some point he swapped our body pillows. i have no idea which time i got up it was. i didn't even notice for so long#i use a regular pillow and he has a longer actual body pillow so it was very obvious in hindsight#he loves to mess with me like that. little things make me laugh etc. and in the moment i realised i was just so happy#i'm here in this comfy bed with the man i love reading great fic with the gift he just got me and he's half-asleep and still trying to make#me laugh. and i laugh and laugh and laugh for like 5 mins because i'm so unobservant i didn't even notice it's not my pillow#and not even in a mean way. he loves that about me because he loves me. and he is just so good. so good.#and i was reading a fic about finding someone in any world. i would find him in any world. i would#and i just said 'i love you' and he cuddled into me and went to sleep.#<33333333333333333
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Katsuki: gotta tuck in by 8:30pm
Katuski: don't wake me before 9am
Izuku: Kacchan, you're up at 7 every weekend
Katsuki: yeah so?
Izuku: so how are you gonna say 9am
Katsuki: I get up on my own terms!
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My partner called me a "cutie pie", and then said, "it's so easy to make you smile. All it takes is gay men and compliments." 🤣 I am very easy to please!! 🥰
#Hope you're all having/had a nice Saturday!!#desi shares#I should think of a tag for dumb/cute shit my fiance says that make me laugh
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screaming in the club
time for another vent in tags
#so i was joking and i thought it came through but im also dumb and autistic and my jokes dont always cross. sO#i was joking about one of my roomates not seeing Nightmare Before Christmas before bc i was showing 2 of them my picture vinyl of it and whe#n one of them said they never saw it i said “but you were a loser on tumblr in the 2010s wdym” and their fiance was just rude to me and i th#ought it was clearly a joke but ig not and they lowley attacked me for it? im just?? i tried to clarify that i was joking and they know im a#utistic. hell the one i was joking to is also autistic but idk so now i feel like utter shit especially after all i did today thst juet drai#ned me. ive been trying to fix our 2nd shower. i had a meeting. i had an extremely hard therapy session. and i showered today. its been hell#like i am trying to get thru relapsing on SH and my ED and ofc they dont know but that shit made it worse and i dont want to say anything bc#then ill feel like im guilt tripping? idk but im also super nervous about a HRT appmt i have coming up and i cant afford it and we have no#food in the house i can eat rn and no one has gone shopping. i cant go shopping either bc i cant drive/dont have a car. and its making it#harder to help get back on track with eating when theres nothing for me to eat? so everything is fucking amazing right now.#the only meals i could POSSIBLY have and all claimed by the one roommate i was joking with. it all takes up half our freezer too so thats#fucking awesome. all this food for one person and none that i can eat or the other vegan in the house can eat. i have been hungry for DAYS.#all there has been for me to eat is cup ramen and grilled cheese. AND SOMEONE WHO WASNT FUCKING VEGAN ATE ALL THE VEGAN CHEESE IM GENUINELY#SO PISSED OFF? like dude yall have your own cheese wtf#the thing is its already really hard for me to tell when i am actually hungry bc of years of ignoring it so when i actually feel it and ther#es nothing it really gets to me. im so tired and idek where my EBT card is to get myself something. its all just so much.#i just want to lay in my bed and sleep for days. but i cant. i have too much shit to do. like even just tomorrow i have to clean the#bathroom. mop the kitchen. do dishes. shovel snow. and just generally take.care of shit because since we have 2 roomates MIA right now and#no one else wanted to do shit i had to step up and i am STRUGGLING. i have been for a while. the thing is everyone that didnt sign up for sh#it didnt have much going on besides probable seasonal depression#i relapsed. have debilitating mental health. i can barely get out of bed before 4 pm. and i have to take care of myself and my cat.#im so close to snapping on them at this point#i need the one roommate i actually like to come back or i swear i will lose my shit. hes only been gone for 6 days but HOLY SHIT#everything has gone to shit#vent over ig im going to sleep soon. still hungry if i cant find something.
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*lays on the floor*
#vent in the tags i guess so heads up#ive literally had the worst luck this year#i just got in my 3rd car accident#2 in as many weeks#and im just#im so tired#i really want to die but thats inconvient and scary and itll make my mom sad and my fiance sad#bc it feels likenit just liles up and up and up#theres no end#and i dont have time to do what i love anymore#and i cant handle all the shit that keeps happening to me#and im just a burden on my parents financially even tho they say im not i am i know i am#my job sucks but i cant do anything else and this is like the most ive ever gotten paid but its still fucking poverty wages and im stuck#im too dumb to run my own business#i cant get any kind of mental help bc my insurance sucks bc i cant afford anything better bc my job sucks#its just a fucking never ending cycle#and im just tired#now my cars fucked again and i cant drive it now#who knows when ill be able to get a rental so im gonna have to pay out the ass for luft and uber bc i work at Bar hours#which means they charge more#and i love fucking 30 minutes away so even non peak driving times its still like 30 bucks both ways#and im fucking poor as shit#i couldnt even get fucking hurt in these accidents so i could get a medical pay out#i just want to stop#sorry if you've read this far#its sad boy hours here rn#ill delete this later i guess#maybe maybe ill just rot away like i should#whatever
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Hi this has nothing to do with anything but I wanted to share some wild shit that went down yesterday.
So my (soon to be) mother-in-law has this 200 year old piano she wants to get rid of. She's tried selling it, no go, so she asked my sister-in-law and her husband to help dismantle it and take it to the curb. This takes a few hours, as you'd expect, but they get it done. Except.
Except. There's this one solid metal piece that they need my fiancé's help for. I asked if I could offer some assistance as well. My babe said they'd call me for help if it was needed, and they didn't. But man, I wish they had.
See, I worked at a FedEx Ground for over a year during the worst part of covid (2020-2021). I was around people whose entire job was lifting shit like this metal piano piece.
The one in the front is what I'm talking about. However heavy you think this is, it's heavier. This shit is solid cast iron.
We called things like this "IC's" or "incompatibles." They couldn't be loaded onto the standard conveyer belt that would carry packages through the warehouse. Super heavy, awkward stuff would be handled by two or three jacked dudes. They'd pull it out of the truck and haul it onto a table, which became a rolling belt, and from there to a series of conveyer belts. What I'm saying is, if they had to lift or push it, there was a lot of heavy machinery involved.
But here? All they had was a CARPET, which they used to drag this beast out of the house, down the porch steps, through the front yard, and all the way around to the back side of the house where trash pick up is.
Why not use the backdoor in the first place, you might ask?
Well, because it's a pretty straight shot through the front of the house to the curb. The backdoor would require going through the kitchen, which is narrow and has a built in island counter. So. No-go.
I'm just. These three average bodied people carried a giant, solid piece of CAST IRON from the living room to the curb.
SUPERHUMAN SHIT RIGHT THERE
Also bonus: destroyed antique piano at night, not sure what mood this is but it sure is one of them
#jesus christ#anecdote#vintage#antique#antique piano#antique musical instrument#cast iron#industrial weight lifting#fedex#story from my warehouse days explaining why this shit is fucking bananas#shit is crazy#whole ass piano#piano#moving#also this evicerated piano is kind of giving me software gore vibes but like for the 1800s#we still have a plaque that says it was made in 1848#fiance and i had to almost beg MIL to keep it#package handler stories
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One more prescription away from suicide
#Drinking all this shit is getting annoying ok????? This is too many pills for one bitch#I am joking obvi#tw suicide mention#Though#no I am actually upset at this point I am so tired of all the treatment but without it I will feel shitty too#my head hurts again please god I know I am masochist but not like this#I am treating this issue and that issue hoping that my body will work the way god intented but oh no! It turns out there's another issue#FUCKING DIE THEN??? BITCH#On better news I can go to town without feeling overwhelming fear I will die#and I don't feel like I am going to lose consciousness all the fucking time! I actually feel that pretty rarely#And I can eat food in small dosages#I think I got a bit fatter but fiance says no (I think I did 😠)#It is good to focus on good things. I can walk around and I breathe just fine now#Me head doesn't hurt as often!#my dick ain't getting up but some progress on that direction as well#periods are on time#so preoccupied with my health issues I don't have time to worry about war crimes committed against my people#vent
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the worst part abt being an adult is that when things go wrong I am the one who is expected to deal with it even if I am not the one that is strictly to blame for things going wrong. what the fuck.
#spam brain#me: ah yes i am moving in july so easy#life: how about you go FUCK yourself and while you're at it suck my entire fucking dick huh#like. like. GOD DAMN IT#i wanted out of this godforsaken city in july i wanted it SO FUCKING BAD and now i have to go around begging the few friends i have#to see if i can crash on their couch for a few months#surprise surprise the answer has been 'no' thus far (which i am not BLAMING them at all but god this whole thing is so annyoing)#i may very well end up having to move to ANOTHER APARTMENT in this godforsaken city BEFORE I MOVE TO TAMPA like????#not what i fucking signed up for#but the alternative is dragging my shit up to ne again and living w my mom and her new fiance for a few motnhs#which is not the WORST thing in the world i love my mom and idc that much abt her fiance he seems fine#but the energy that would take... and i would need to find a new job for like 4 months before i move again.... ugh#plus now i had a date w a guy who is actually cool and actually seems interested in another so like!!! fucking god#THE WHOLE THING IS BULLSHIT. BULLSHIT I SAY. HATE.#wish life was easier but NOOOO that's too much to ask#anyway rant over i'll shut up but i am so pissed abt this whole thing its so unnecessarily annoying istg#non fandom#wish me luck w this whole thing guys please i fucking need it
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#like I feel like im screaming to the void#which is helpful but like i know people don’t follow me here because it’s my fangirl tumblr and im not super vocal about it#but holy shit im just having a very hard time this weekend#i feel very alone and wish i just wouldn’t wake up#the thought of going to work tomorrow and having to put on a fake face and a show for my kids sounds absolutely exhausting#I don’t have any friends I can go to#can’t go to fiance because I feel like im just an annoying broken record who can’t express how she’s feeling#im in the hot tub rn and just wish I could fall asleep and drown#BUT CANT say that becuase I don’t wanna get locked up for a mental health stay#I should go back to therapy but having to start all over from the beginning sounds EXHAUSTING
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