#shit maybe the same hour

[j-esbian]

maybe the real voltron was the friends we made along the way

[gideonisms]

I become 300% more of both a lover and a hater when I'm on my period. just a time of the month when I have strong opinions I would say

[eebie]

sometimes i just feel like straight up i’m not built for being a person. dont get me wrong im not saying this in a suicidal or self-loathing way Not even close. to me this kinda just feels like an objective observable truth about myself that anyone could reasonably draw as a conclusion if they poked around in my brain for a few minutes.. it;s a weird sensation that i can only compare to running your fingers over goosebumps but raised just far away enough that you only graze the hairs. i can still function and stuff but it seems like there will always be that disconnect between me and my surroundings. i think i’d do a much better job if i were a microbe or cloud or something

[fear-no-mort]

pov it’s the night of December 2nd 2013 and you’ve just burst into your grandsons room to pick him up so he’s not down there when you blow up the world the guy who ruined your life is from because you wouldn’t be able to live with yourself if you let him stay down there with everyone else which is Really fucking weird because you thought even coming back here in the first place meant giving up forever on anything for the rest of your life but this goddamn kid stops you from blowing up the planet and now you’re basically permanently fucked because now you’re just gonna have to keep on living and it’s because you love him. and tomorrow morning you will be running from alien police with him

[itsmistyeyedbi]

I've seen a handful of posts about the different ways an a/n/detective romance could go down, and would like to throw my hat in the ring (with Zuri of course).

It seems like I'm sharing some braincells with people lol, because this post by @fauville and especially this post by @sewellsheart (I hope you guys don't mind me tagging you, if you do just let me know and I'll remove it) are both pretty close (or exactly spot on) to the thoughts I had earlier this week. It's also sorta kinda includes @wayhavenots headcanon of N being demiromantic.

(Also tagging @serenpedac because you mentioned that you'd like me to when I got around to posting this)

When I answered this ask with questions from the lovey dovey oc development prompts list, I mentioned that although Zuri finds aspects of each member of Unit Bravo attractive when she first meets them, Nate is who catches her eye the most. He's the closest to her type - Zuri flirts with him in book 1 regardless of the route she's in lol.

Considering the vampire senses, and the fact that sometimes Zuri wasn't being all that subtle lol, he knows this. And he flirts back too; there's some aesthetic attraction there (maybe I'm biased, but methinks Zuri is very nice to look at lol), but before much/any sexual attraction can come in Zuri’s attention pivots to Adam. I've mentioned before that she is drawn to emotionally unavailable people - but especially when they let a feeling or two slip, when she gets to see the asshole be more than an asshole lol. And Adam doesn't seem to be as indifferent to her as he was before. Quite the opposite actually.

It's no skin off Nate's back. As nice as it was, there wasn't any romantic feelings there, and it would probably be wise to not pursue something with her. Zuri is his handler's daughter, and having any potential relationship they have end the way his previous relationships did could have complicated his relationship with both of them. Besides, they aren't staying in Wayhaven for long anyway (ha!).

So it's no skin off his back. Really. Truly. Except watching Adam's growing interest in her makes envy rear it's ugly head. It's a familiar sight, one that has been directed at him throughout the 300 years of him knowing Adam. As he became his friend and his confidant, as trust and loyalty grew between them - little, stolen moments dotted the fabric of their friendship. For the first time in more years than he could reasonably keep count of, the desire for the romance he read in books and poetry blossomed into a love for Adam. To have him, body and heart and soul - and to give his own to him. From the moment he realised those feelings, he wanted to throw himself headfirst into love, into a relationship, with the man who knew and accepted every part of him.

But Adam couldn't bring himself to do the same. It was too risky, too dangerous. It would create a weakness in him that would lead to Nate's destruction. And Nate - kind, gentle, beautiful, Nate - doesn't deserve that. And Adam doesn't deserve him. So their feelings are restricted to those stolen moments, to the brief meeting of their eyes, to lingering touches. And if they trip and stumble and fall into each other's arms in the dead of night, they will return to the status-quo by morning. With there being a little more distance, a little more hurt in Nate's eyes and guilt in Adam's heart until the pain subsides. Until they fall again. They've been falling for centuries.

As much as it hurts, Nate won't push him. He understands his reservations and his concerns, how much the life he left behind still haunts him. His own haunts him as well, of course he understands. Even though he longs for the ghosts of their past to no longer hold them back.

And that interest in Zuri...it means something. But Nate finds a little bit of selfish comfort in the fact that they will continue on with their lives when the mission is complete. They will go on, with Zuri having breathed new life into his team, his family, with her acceptance and excitement, her brightness and her resilience - with her humanity.

Except... they are staying in Wayhaven. They have a home there, and Zuri will be working with them as a human liaison. He's delighted! Wayhaven is a small, charming town full of good people who should be protected. Meeting and getting to know Zuri has been wonderful and friendly, and he's looking forward to learning more about her. But that means she and Adam can continue to develop a relationship, and he has to watch as she slowly slips past his defences.

As painful as it is to watch him fall in love with another, he ultimately wants to see Adam happy, and perhaps Zuri is the person who he will find that with. She is lovely, after all. She was determined to help the people of her home when the maalused arrived and made people ill, human and supernatural alike. She was quick to protect Adam from being infected as well. She was curious, always eager to learn more about the world she'd been thrust into. She was charming and cheeky and kind, subtly coming to his defence with a smile and a wink when she met Unit Alpha while remaining friendly and gaining their favour (this is from the dialogue option where the detective can go: "just so you know, I like museums too." the smiling and winking there is Zuri specific, so not in the actual text).

They slowly grew closer, toeing the line of crossing into the deep, dark waters of their past. And the closer they become, the more it stings to see watch the tentative hope build up inside her. To then see the flash of pain in Zuri’s eyes when Adam pulls away, the guilt in his eyes when she stitches on a smile, the resignation in both of them that Nate knows all too well. She eventually starts turning to him for comfort, whether it's in the form of a distraction or advice. When she does, she's nervous and can barely meet his eye, hugging herself tight as though to keep herself from falling apart. Being vulnerable like this with someone is the last thing Zuri wants to do, but everything is eating away at her, and she just needs... something. Someone. Some way to come up for air.

The reasons are more complicated than Nate initially thought. It turns out that Zuri is just as conflicted about their connection as Adam is, with her keeping him at arms length as well as his interest evolved into longing. Into something she she can just barely recognise, something that scares her. Something she doesn't think she deserves. It gets easier to talk to Nate, just a little. Just enough for him to feel like a soft place to land, safe and warm as he allows her to curl into his side - although she catches the gleam of envy or jealousy or both.

Nate is doing his best to conceal it, but he can't help how he feels. The thing is... he isn't quite sure where it's coming from anymore, and a rare but familiar feeling stirs in his chest. And Zuri looks so comfortable buried against his side, hiding away from the world while allowing him to see the parts of her that are sharp as shards of glass, beautiful when they catch the light. And when he manages to make her smile, to make her laugh, his heart skips a beat and all he wants to do is drink in the sight of her in all her beauty...

Then he thinks of Adam, and all the times he melted at his dimpled smile and soft gaze, the times he got drunk on the sight of him standing by his side, laying underneath him...

Oh. Oh no.

Eventually, Nate does speak to Adam. I'm not entirely confident in my thoughts on how this would go down, but I don't think he would pretend that his feelings weren't there or hurt. I think Nate would tell him that his feelings for him haven't changed, but he ultimately wants him to be happy and that he might find that happiness with Zuri (there might be a little bit of awkwardness here considering his developing feelings for her). But he'd also let him know that what he's doing is only hurting her; she may not be completely innocent here, Nate knows that Adam is hurting as well and Zuri can be just as wishy washy, but all of this should let him know that pushing away the people who care about him achieves nothing. It only cause pain all around, and Adam needs to decide on whether that is or isn't something he's willing to keep doing.

This is where the the poly can come in (finally, I know). There's two possible routes for this.

1. Nate and Zuri develop feelings for each other, but remain friends while her relationship with Adam progresses and they eventually get together. Adam ends up having a general idea of their feelings for each other, based on their physical reactions more than anything. So, after a long, long, long while, Zuri and Adam talk about Nate and their not so previous feelings for him (I can see Adam talking about Nate also having feelings for Zuri like it's the most obvious thing in the world, while she's in complete disbelief lmao). They'd have a long talk about what that could mean for them, and once they determine that they still want to stay together, Zuri proposes that they talk to Nate about him possibly joining them.

I can't imagine what that would be like for Nate. Maybe it would be a little confusing. Maybe it would feel unreal that two of the people he cares for the most, the people he is in love with, love him as well. And after what could be years of him watching them together, on the outside looking in, wondering if he'd ever be able to share in their love, or if the bittersweet feelings in his chest would be his burden to carry for eternity - something he was willing to do if it meant they both got to be happy.

It would probably take a while for Nate to get comfortable, he's already not so secure in relationships. And Adam, despite him knowing Nate and their history together, would probably have to adjust to accepting his feelings for him after repressing them for so long. That he doesn't have to hide them anymore. Zuri would definitely have to take the lead here, even though she'd be just as nervous. Two amazing people being in love with her? The thought of driving them away would be in the forefront of her mind sometimes.

2. Nate and Zuri develop feelings for each other, and he tells her about his feelings for Adam. She'd be a little surprised at first before having an "Oh, so that's why xyz etc" moment lol. She'd be really curious about his feelings and if they were ever returned, considering their centuries long friendship. Nate would be surprised by how well Zuri takes it, and they highkey end up bonding over the mess that is their feelings for Adam and their love lives in general (this may be when Zuri picks up on him possibly being demiromantic). They keep getting closer and closer, with Nate being more vulnerable with her as well. Both of them would kinda enjoy how freeing it is to speak with someone about all of it (they might even be able to awkwardly admit how envious they were of the other lol). But their feelings do continue to grow in the process, and the tension builds - and when their longing for Adam is particularly difficult to bear, they seek each other out and end up finding comfort in a completely different way.

It wouldn't be completely out of place considering N's past of seeking out connection and occasionally doing it through sex. Zuri would for sure do something like this, which I think is a little obvious from this post I made a while back - but she has done the whole 'hook up to forget' thing before.

Except this time, it's different. It's not just them seeking out connection or trying to forget their reality, it's also them wanting to lose themselves in each other - the person who understands them, that they've been able to be vulnerable with in a way they couldn't be with anyone else. Someone who they're (mostly) on the same page with, someone they care for deeply, someone they can share this desperate, heartwrenching, deep-seated longing with in the most passionate and carnal and unrestrained way possible. Until they can't think. Until they can't speak. Until the feel of each other's skin is all that exists.

This second one would obviously be a lot more complicated than the first, especially if/when Adam finds out. My head is empty when it comes to how they'd progress from here, unless we really went with the 'stuck in the safe house' option lol.

I delve into how Zuri would get involved in a polyamorous relationship in this ask that I think contextualises her perspective a little more.

But, yeah! Those are most of my thoughts!

[pollenallergie]

“do the hardest task first”

no. just… no.

hot take: this doesn’t work for people with adhd (in my experience/from what i’ve heard from other people with adhd in my life). i recommend doing the easy/moderately difficult stuff first, that way you can convince yourself that it’s all going to be this easy and undemanding. then hyper-focus will kick in because your brain is like, “yeah, we can do this, we’ve got this.” then, before you know it, you’ve completed both the easy tasks and the hard tasks while hyperfocusing.

like, on a serious note, it’s always been easier for me to convince myself to get the most difficult tasks done when i’m already working/in the working frame of mind, not when i’m laying in bed or sitting on the couch, mindlessly scrolling through stuff on my phone, and struggling to start at all.

if the choice comes down to you not starting at all or starting with the easiest task first (which, for me, it often does), always, always pick starting with the easiest task first. sometimes you need a small victory, a little bit of an accomplishment, to give you the courage to take on bigger challenges.

[shizunitis]

there is this deep-seated need in some people to ask you to do something extremely complicated and new to you without explaining how to do it, after also explaining the fundamentals of existing in a society. and these people will often be your boss,

[the-stove-is-divorced]

I'm sorry you were hit by a car???

HA, I forget people can see my tags. To make a long story short, yeah, but luckily with no major injuries! I was young enough that going to the hospital/doctor was my parents' decision and they just kinda didn't? Don't know why! Got hit on saturday, went to school that monday! Which is crazy. I don't even have a scar, which is also crazy. Mf got me from behind so I couldn't even stare them down ominously (a habit of mine I carry to this day, Just In Case), so my face could haunt their nightmares if they killed me, but the driver had a kid in the car who didn't blink the entire time. I'm sure I became a Significant Memory in their young psyche! Longer story short, driver drove me back home, mom was hysterical, blah, blah, blah, I'm still alive. By now the thing's hilarious to me, not so much to literally anyone else ┐(シ)┌

[doctorwhoisadhd]

ive so had enough of all tma tme whatever discourse cause at this point its literally people (on BOTH sides) making the nastiest most mean spirited posts ive ever seen in my life about each other, IN A PUBLICLY ACCESSIBLE PLACE, and then getting mad that the other side is doing the same and its like. yeah. people usually dont like it when you're mean to them. of course theyre getting mad. this is kindergarten shit

[joelletwo]

v theee [boring car selling in nc details] theee to junk ur car the company wanted me to go ahead and sign the title and leave the buyer info blank which is having an open title (bc if u drop it on the way to sell ur car anyone can pick it up and fill in their info and own ur car) and is like. STUPID illegal in nc. like people still do it esp in just third party-to-third party sales. and junker services do it so if they can sell the car again they dont have to deal with two transactions of paperwork and fees [<- which is why its illegal so nc can capture those fees]. but like. they shouldnt be able to tell me on their publically available site that they want me to break nc law

and also nc law wants me to get that title notarized which because of open titles being illegal. most notaries wont notarize u if the buyer isnt also there filling in their info.

most notaries are also. either like banks or other m-f 9-5 type businesses. or just some random person in their house. and random person in their house is more likely to break the law for me but i dont want to ask some random person to break the law for me

(the dmv will also notarize and anecdotally from reddit some of them totally will just shrug and let u do it with only you the seller/you the buyer there instead of needing both but thats arbitrary depends on getting someone who doesnt care lol)

AND also. even if im selling to a person not trying to get me to break the law just buying my car regular. and i work m-f 9-5 or we both work hours where theres no way to get us both in the same place and certainly not a bank or a dmv except like, sunday evening, when no banks or dmvs are open.

do we just go fuck ourselves????????? like what do they want. they want me to die?????? i think my government wants me to die and sterilize myself

[kingprinceleo]

"Poor meow meow (tortures people)"

Does this mean there's lore for the dessert vampires au 👀👀👀👀👀

theres always been lore ! im still fleshing it out though, theres no overarching plot rn its just setting up the most important base details i have a REALLY clear vision for how i want to introduce the whole au so its pretty unfortunate i cant share anything until i drop the introduction

[emeraldblonde]

I tried to mod something and the good news is, it didn't crash the game. 🥳 The bad news is, not what I was looking for lmao.

Like, don't get me wrong. I've seen way worse (the stuff of nightmares) on a modding channel I've been teaching myself this stuff lately, so. It's not like I completely fucked this thing up or anything like that.

It's just... I still gotta ask though.

What went wrong here?

[cosmikazie]

small detail people probably didnt notice (or care about) but i thought was pretty fun and cool: in the "We Are" animation i did i tried to remake most of the arena mode portraits (minus saint bc they were doing other stuff in the video + ENOT bc they are too silly for this) for when they all flash on screen like they did. consider this my insanely late addition to the Arena Mode meme that happened a while back

[dyke-mecha]

It's just. I want to do things. I wanna read my books. I wanna write. I wanna draw. But each day I'm coming home with negative spoons, so I just end up rotting away in bed because hey guess what this lovely body is Fucked and everything else only exhausts me more.

[carnage-cathedral]

can someone please help end my vicious and unending self-fakeclaiming cycle

[fiendishartist2]

its past midnight and here i am planning a sweater i have neither the materials nor funds to make