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🛶💙🩵❤️🩵💙 it's a love canoe! send this to all the blogs you love! don’t forget to spread the love

Long time no see :3 ❤️

Awe, thank you! Good to hear from you :3

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"Kerberos" by Annie Stegg

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Kermit discovers a frog in his kitchen.

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Notes from a concerned medical professional who reads too much hurt/comfort:

(These are all things I've seen in Hazbin/Helluva fanfics)

(Tw: for injury, illness, gore, drug use, overdose, a lot of other things)

You cannot drug someone to sleep by overdosing them on melatonin. It will not work

Don't submerge an open wound or stitches in a bathtub/pool/etc it will introduce bacteria to the wound (taking a shower is usually fine, just skip the romantic bath)

On that note, stitches do not immediately stop a wound from bleeding and should not be used to solve every problem (never give yourself stitches unless you have absolutely no other choice they can trap infection inside the body when done incorrectly)

And, if the wound is extremely deep, a person may need several layers of stitches to piece together the skin, muscle, and viscera

You absolutely cannot get high on tylenol or ibuprofen even if you mix it with alcohol.

If you do mix tylenol or ibuprofen with alcohol it can cause internal bleeding/kidney damage/liver failure, so please don't do that

If someone is shivering from a high fever, don't cover them in blankets it will raise their body temperature even more (please try correctly dosed tylenol or ibuprofen for this)

Don't submerge someone with a high fever in ice water, they might go into shock (they also might panic and hurt themselves) in a pinch lukewarm water will do

Don't put ice on burns, run them under lukewarm or cool water instead

If someone overdoses on an opoid (heroin, morphine, various pain medications), there is a medicine called nalaxone (Narcan) that can reverse the effects of opioids (edit: thank you to @queerlybehooved)

If someone is bleeding profusely, don't just hold their head and whisper sweet nothings, put pressure on the wound!!!

If a bullet remains in a person’s body after being shot it most likely should not be dug out unless it's blocking something vital, the bullet is not the problem the damage it made in it's path is

This isn't a criticism of authors who have written things like this. A lot of it isn't common knowledge, and DIY healthcare is absolutely steeped in myth and misinformation. I just worry about disinformation being perpetuated (and I really enjoy accurate hurt/comfort)

If I got anything wrong, please let me know, and I'll edit the post. I'm far from perfect and appreciate good advice

Let me know if you guys want a fic rec list of my favorite Hazbin Hotel whump fics

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I think one big reason why we don't consider the stars as important as before (not even pop-astrology anymore cares about the stars or the sky on itself, just the signs deprived of context) is because of light pollution.

For most of human history the sky looked between 1-3, 4 at most. And then all of a sudden with electrification it was gone (I'm lucky if I get 6 in my small city). The first time I saw the Milky Way fully as a kid was a spiritual experience, I was almost scared on how BRIGHT it was, it felt like someone was looking back at me. You don't get that at all with modern light pollution.

When most people talk about stargazing nowadays they think about watching about a couple of bright dots. The stars are really, really not like that. The unpolluted night sky is a festival of fireworks. There is nothing like it.

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Reblog this if you support sex-averse and sex-repulsed aces, including:

Aces who never want to have sex

Aces who had sex in the past but don't desire it anymore

Aces with sexual trauma who feel like their trauma ties into their asexuality

Aces with sexual trauma who don't feel like their trauma caused their asexuality

Aces who don't want to talk to you about sex

Aces who don't want to hear about sex

Yes even aces who do not want to engage with any sexual content and don't want it in their own personal spaces

Yes even aces who express the desire to have more spaces for queer adults where their boundaries are met (on top of the queer spaces that exist, we do not want to sanitize your existing spaces ffs)

If you cannot be normal about these people existing, if you believe they're a threat to our community and to how we're viewed by people who aren't aspec and the rest of the LGBTQ+ community, you are not an asexual ally. Yes, even if you're aspec yourself. Especially if you're aspec yourself.

Because it's been pride month for 4 days and I'm already seeing people trying to throw us under the bus or pretend we don't exist because that makes the ace community more palatable to exclusionists and people who swallowed too much "aces are puritans" propaganda.

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My good people, I give you: Amatonormativity.

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ngl I thought the puzzle piece as an autistic symbol meant like. I am a vital puzzle piece to your society. humans would never have invented half the things they did without us. you're telling me it means I'm missing something?? buddy. listen. listen to me reeeeaal closely. no human has all the pieces to humanity. no one. no one has all the features enables no one has all the strengths weaknesses or quirks. no one has a whole puzzle. we make the freaking complete picture together. that's the freaking point.

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Hiii. It's been while, but here I am to annoy you with the occasional prompt once more :P

How would the SDV + SVE spouses react to the farmer (who is their partner, spouses or just dating) introducing them to the racoon family? (Because I love torturing Magnus, maybe the parents end up trusting him with their children and make him their babysitter)

❗🦝Spoilers for SDV 1.6.🦝❗

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Heya, good to see you again! :3

When I wrote the headcanon about this, I'm surprised that no one in the game reacted to the new raccoon house. Like, nobody? Not even least Marnie or Leah? Oh, well... 😅Anyway, thanks for the ask and enjoy! 💕

SDV/SVE spouses react to the Farmer introducing them to the raccoon family:

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SDV bachelors/ettes:

The little gray lumps decided to playfully attack Sam right away, poking their wet noses at him and pawing through his bag looking for anything interesting. The young guitarist laughed resoundingly, and decided to use his hand as a "claw" to show the raccoons that he was accepting the game. The babies are having fun squeaking and jumping, Sam is outright glowing with happiness, the parent raccoons are taking a break from the noisy kids, and Farmer is taking pictures on their phone to capture this touching moment.

Sebastian was probably most at ease with the raccoons, sitting on the grass while the little cubs sniffed curiously at the stranger. Farmer crouched nearby, showing their forest friends that Sebby could be trusted. So in five minutes the little raccoons were already playing and jumping around the two of them without restraint. Funny little animals. He won't mind continuing to frolic with his friendly neighbors. Hm, maybe bring them a tasty treat?

Well... Those are definitely real raccoons. It's just that after Farmer's words "neighbors-raccoons", Elliott thought at first that his dear husband did not characterize people so kindly, and then the writer remembered that he had never heard of any new residents of the Valley. The raccoons were surprisingly calm, they seemed to know Farmer for a long time, and the cubs were not afraid of Elliott at all. "Meeting with the forest neighbors..." Hmm, not a bad title for his little novella...

When the Farmer told Harvey that they had purchased so many broccoli seeds from raccoons, the local doctor thought it was a bit of an odd joke that he had no way of understanding. But now he saw with his own eyes as the raccoon came out of their little house and gave Harvey's spouse a baggie of seeds, taking pine cones in exchange. A mixture of confusion and shock, and then complete acceptance of the fact, because, as far back as Harvey could remember, the Farmer had done stranger things.

Shane stood motionless, with a "I don't get paid enough for this shit" look on his face while little baby raccoons sat on his head, shoulders, and scratched his new shoes. He definitely thinks he looks silly. But they seem like cool animals, not aggressive, plus Farmer is smiling so wide and sincere at this picture. So Shane is willing to put up with the squeaky sounds of the fidgety cubs once a week. The only no is introducing his with Farmer children or Jas. Better save that sorry.

Raccoons? Not the same ones Alex's grandfather has been complaining about for the past week? The athlete is used to seeing them as pests, since Alex used to be the one who was always picking up trash from the overturned trash bin. So he shows a bit of distrust when he finds out that their "new cool neighbors" are raccoons. Although Alex has no beef with these raccoons specifically, they seem to be peaceful, plus their cubs are super adorable.

Oh, Leah had known for a long time for that tree stump mini-cabin near the farm. Excellent carpentry, by the way. It was very skillful. And the raccoons who had settled there were apparently enjoying their cozy new place of residence, which would shelter them from any weather. Nevertheless, Leah does not dare to disturb the local fauna and advises Farmer not to get close to the raccoons, believing that animals should be respected.

When Penny saw Farmer with raccoons in their arms, the girl wanted to scream in horror, but ended up just squeaking. These are certainly not dangerous animals like a bear or wolves, but even just a couple of aggressive raccoons can pose a serious threat to humans. And the fact that the Farmer was near their cubes... But these raccoons don't seem to mind human company... probably domesticated. Penny is certainly glad that everything went well, but maybe they both shouldn't bother the wild fauna any further?

So the Farmer has been buying carrot seeds from real raccoons all this time? That's awesome! Abigail isn't exactly thrilled about the carrots, though. She didn't seem too surprised by the situation itself. Even wanted to see what else the forest fauna were selling. Seeds, seeds, more seeds... Oh, magic rock candy? Now that's interesting! Especially while she's looking at all the possible items, the baby raccoons are playing with her. So Abby is very happy to have such neighbors.

Haley squeaked twice, the first out of delight at the raccoon family in their cute little house, and the second out of surprise and fear because the raccoons had come too close to her. They don't carry rabies, do they? She looks at her spouse, waiting for their answer. At Farmer's approval, she decided to gently pet the raccoon, who seems didn't mind at all. It was fun, but Haley had had enough contact with nature for the day. Btw, where is her camera? Because she'll definitely take a dozen cute photos before leaving.

On the one hand, Maru's inner voice urges her to counsel herself and her dear spouse against contact with wild animals. On the other hand, Farmer playing with baby raccoons is probably the cutest thing Maru has ever seen, and her heart instantly melts with an overabundance of cuteness. The young inventor would spend days asking the Farmer about the raccoons themselves and how come they made a house for them.

Forest friends! Emily is unbridled delighted that her spouse has introduced her to a family of raccoons. Small and bright animals that playfully run around the blue-haired girl while she herself smiles at the most adorable picture. The interaction alone filled Emily with a huge amount of positive emotions. Oh, and the raccoons look happy in their cozy little house! She should definitely sew a couple of warm plaids for them, so that the baby raccoons will definitely not freeze in winter.

SVE bachelors/ettes:

Considering that Magnus's partner had previously shown him their ability to talk to the forest fauna ("Deal with bear and maple syrup???"), the introduction to raccoons didn't surprise him too much. What did surprise him, however, was that the parents wanted to give him, a wizard they didn't know well, their raccoon children to look after. With all due respect, he was not a babysitter for forest animals! Magnus already had his own children and a pupil to look after.

*Chuckle* What a adorable forest family. Lance is rather pleased to hear that the Farmer and he have good neighbours. Although the gallant adventurer himself doesn't have a chance to talk to the raccoon parents (and to any wild animals), their behaviour towards Lance says that they are not aggressive and don't consider him a threat. He is more interested in the fact that Farmer is actively trading with the raccoons, exchanging coal for mahogany seeds...

Farmer, wait! Stay away from the raccoons, they can be dangerous! Why don't they listen to Victor? He knows what he's talking about. Moreover, the spaghetti lover has told them many times how he was attacked by a vicious raccoon in town a long time ago. He was terrified. So don't- Farmer? Where are you going? Please don't go near- Oh... Are these raccoons tame? Did they make them a house? To keep them warm in the winter? Oh, how nice of them- ???? Did- did they just buy carrot seeds from raccoons?...

Oh, a raccoon family? This is unusual. Well, Claire kind of realises that the forest is very close by, so it's no wonder there are wildlife running around. but she never noticed this little house with cute raccoon faces sticking out of it. The red-haired girl worries when Farmer gets too close to the animals, what if her parents think they're a threat to the little ones? But they seem to regard them as their own and allow them to be petted. Claire would rather watch from the sidelines if her spouse doesn't mind.

...Olivia was beginning to worry that these raccoons wouldn't hesitate to come to their farm and make a mess in the beds. Living in the city, she knew these animals as pests and disease-carriers that crawl through bins. So she honestly said she wasn't too comfortable around raccoons. Although these ones seem to behave differently, without aggression. And the house is pretty nice. But she will need time to get used to such "neighbours".

Oh, Yoba, the Farmer made this little house themselves?! And the raccoons have babies! Five, or even six! That's so cute! Sophia is even willing to forgive the raccoons for knocking over her trash can last week, because it's the cutest thing she's ever seen in her life. The pink-haired girl is still afraid to touch them since they are wild animals after all. But she'll definitely take 100+ photos of the forest family and be sure to show Scarlett, because it's super adorable!

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wolves playing with ice (on trail camera)

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y'all missing the whole point of stardew valley. it's supposed to be slow paced. you're a farmer. crops do now grow instantly and you wont be making millions in a season. enjoy the fucking game, take your fucking time. take days off to just forage and talk to people. aren't yall tired of the grind from real life??? do you want to experience burnout in a farming game too??????

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GOD this idea is so funny.

"You've completed the monster slayer hero list! What do you mean you didn't know slimes can breed!?"

"I thought they spawned into existence by black magic or something. Stop yelling at me :("

The fact that you can find the Monster Compendium while killing monsters is interesting

It means someone at some point in the past decided to go on an expedition in the caves to identify what monsters that lived there and got killed. And the monsters then stole the book.

It could have been someone with an interest in monsters but without much fighting abilities that underestimated just how dangerous the mine is, someone like Victor for example (without the self-preservation instincts). Probably lots of 'tourists' got killed down there over the years, which is why you can also find sneakers while spelunking.

Or it could have been an unfortunate adventurer, one of the first monster hunters that tried to make the valley safe enough for Pelican Town to be created, that simply wanted to figure out what creatures they had to deal with. Either way, it's basically a piece of the local history that tells an exiting tale of how humans and monsters interact.

And the fact that the farmer benefits from finding the book also means that they know jack shit about the monsters they are killing. An encyclopedia of monsters can only have the most basic facts in it, stuff that an actual adventurer should already know and probably the first things they learn before starting their career, yet it's all new information for the farmer. Btw we're talking here about the best monster hunter in Ferngill Republic, by far (poor Isaac).

(No, but seriously. Imagine Isaac struggling for more than an hour to kill some dangerous monster in the Badlands only for the farmer to come along, pull the book from their backpack, spend a few minutes reading through it, complain that the monster isn't in the compendium, then killing it in a few seconds)

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Wolves of Yellowstone by Sam Roberts

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heidiwranglescats

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It's pretty funny that Magic rock candy, the universal loved gift for everyone, is a hated gift for Lance, just because our favorite gallant adventurer doesn't eat anything sweet. But this is "rare and powerful candy infused with the essence of a prismatic shard," therefore a very useful magical item. And our Lance, even if he was badly wounded, would refuse to eat candy because of, I don't know, the fact that it's candy that might mess up his figure... Or teeth.

A little OOC for him, but it would be a great crack story when the Farmer, after dragging an injured Lance to safety, gives him this magic candy that will instantly help.... To hear him refuse. "I'm afraid this doesn't suit me..." Lance, you're dying, eat your fucking candy, stupid bitch-

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What makes the farmer of Stardew Valley so... different?

What made the Junimos believe this twenty-something loser could be their saviour?

Why does everyone accept their behaviour, and choose to believe they're a friend when their behaviour is almost stalkerish?

Why did Mr Qi believe they were interesting enough to meet?

When anyone else visits the old community centre, they find an abondened building with rotted wood beams and plants growing through the floor, but when the Farmer explores, the spirits of a different world greet them at the door.

Everyone knows of these legendary fish, rumoured, but never seen. The Farmer can find them all with unnatural ease. Willy has worked in the fishing industry for his whole life and he only knew of their existence, and has not once been able to find one.

The explosive force of several kilos of dynamite should be enough to shred a person to pieces, but, it just knocks them around a little.

Aliens crash landed on his property. The witch cursed his farm, the skeletons cursed his luck. The fairies gave him blessings in return.

Why is it that when anyone else looks down, they see dirt, but when the Farmer looks, they find an ancient fossil of unknown origin? Why does regular food and drink change them at the atomic level?

Is it a blessing or a curse to be at the centre of the vortex, forever forced to play out century-old vendettas and be the change in a thousand lives? Wherever the farmer goes, the world moves with them, twisting itself around to curse and appease them as much as possible. Is the Farmer drawn to the supernatural, or is it the supernatural that finds the farmer so alluring?

And everywhere they go, Mr Qi watches, and waits.

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Boy, aren't you're one Giant Beast.