#shit is this stuff gonna show up in the tags bc of how i wrote it

[elibean]

maaaaan i do not get a lot of the jjk hype. it’s a fun romp for sure but like. its writing Isn’t Great

[thatdeadaquarius]

About language brainrot. Imagine writer creator reader who finally learns how to write in Teyvat's weird symbols and they want to publish their book. They decided to do it anonymously to avoid the "aaaaaah our creator wrote the holy scripture" sort of situation. Except it didn't work. The reader's style is too different from the rest of the world, so even if they tried to simulate the flowery speech it wasn't effective.

Another thing. Reader who decided to read some local books to practice their reading. They asked for something simple and similar to their speech. But the only books merely similar to it are 2000 and more years old. It's funny how the older text is the more you can understand it. On this note. If reader write something i feel like it would be hard to understand for Teyvat's people.

Imagine a reader who is autistic or has any other NDs imparing their communication skills. They practically trained themselves to say sertain phrases in sertain situation. But it doesn't work in Teyvat. And everything just stacks at each other. Difference in speech, being a God (so people react weirdly to you), bad communication skills, not understanding nonverbal cues and so on. There's gonna be a lot of misunderstanding. I imagine how followers would walk on the eggshells not to upset and angry their God and reader who does the same not to say something people will get wrong. Again.

Reader who regained all their memories of creating Teyvat, they're super powerful and stuff. But they still struggle with the modern language. Because all the memories are like millions years old.

✨️NEXYLAZA UR SO FUCKING SMART AND CREATIVE✨️ UR BRAIN>>>>>> EVERYTHING

GIF Akashi (black hair) is all the people who read the Sagau/Isekai Genshin tag and Bokuto (silver) is STILL ME RANTING ABOUT LANGUAGE IN TEYVAT LMAO

They cant escape me, sorry people who just wanted to read SAGAU normal things, im filling up the tag💀

I HAD OTHER ASKS BEFORE THIS ONE AND AS I GOT THRU EM I WAS "OMMGGGG WE'RE GETTIN CLOSER TO NEXY'SSSS ASSSKKKK EEEEEEE"

YOU ARE A GODDAMN GENIUS

DHALALWKDHDHS

ME ABOUT THIS ASK:

(^ lol biblically accurate deadaquarius)

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGINNNN

BRAINROTTING OVER UR ENTIRE ASK!!

♡

Also, its getting kinda old now, so here is the blunt language v. Teyvat's flowery language post for reference! :)

Hhhhhhhhhhh

IF U WRITE STUFF

AND UR IN WORDY TEYVAT LAND

AINT NO WAY,👏

U COULD EVEN, 👏👏

GET CLOSE👏👏👏

TO THESE BITCHES SPEECH👏👏👏👏

◇

Like,, imagine right now if i told you to write me 4 pages of an essay in entirely early 18th century vernacular.

(For reference: when the story Pride & Prejudice takes place)

... like??

Bitch aint no way u can do that and actually show that to a historian or an actual living person from that time period

and them actually say "wow! An excellently worded 18th century essay!"

💀.

◇

So tying into that whole, "the only simple texts are like literal cunnieform clay tablets or sm shit"

Your writing to them just sounds like if a scribe just copied off what one of those tablets said just onto paper HAHA

And like, if u try and dress it up, it just ends up sounding like its from a slightly later time period

Like if ur casual writing sounds like 1 million years ago, u being flowery sounds like 8-7 thousand years ago u cant win LMAO

◇

Omg ur trying to go to that-

wait whats it called,,fuck i dont know Sumeru good enough yet

The.. HOUSE OF DAENA GOT IT

Yeah so ur thinking "Oh what better way to learn a dialect?/vernacular than reading books by them!"

And u basically snatch Alhaitham at the soonest possible chance to take you there

(Bc when i went in, it was just random lore books everywhere so)

Needless to say you have no clue how this place is organized, so u convince him to direct you to books u can easily read first

Like as close to your speech as possible!! U tell him :)

.

..

...lol

It literally takes like 3 hours to get something readable LMAO

Bc when the poor feeble scribe initially brought you smth he thought was pretty old and close to ur speech, like just first thought,

... It sounded like it was from the middle of the 18th century to you lol

So, with a "hmm" and a squint at the dusty book you'd already given up on

Alhaitham slowly went around the library making a stack of books, dropped them off in front of you... not a single sentence.

...then he made a stack of scrolls...

..nope..

...a stack of stone tablets...

.....getting closer?? it was really weird seeing Shakespearean language carved into stone....

...and then, with a conversation to a second library secretary deeper in the library, past a caged area of shelves to protect them...

...he escorts you behind the restricted section towards the back filled with glass display cases.

(Several of which contain the most ancient looking sets of artifacts you've ever seen)

...Finally, u arrive at a long glass case of several clay tablets.

Half of which sound like they're from the 1910s-20s, and the other, even older half, sounding straight out of the 2000s..

..

....

......

...Good god.

(Good..you??)

These crazy speaking bastard-previously-video-game-characters were right.

...

You are suddenly, viscerally hit with the image of Zhongli's idle, "Osmanthus wine tastes the same as I remember, but where are those who share the memory?" 💀

◇

Alhaitham side eyes you,, (he looks,, very interested, yet also kinda concerned??? HIM, CONCERNED????!!!)

"Ahem, the texts before thy Greatest Lord art the eldest- well, perhaps, more appropriately, the eldest and most intact, pieces of written language known to our humankind."

...

....aYOO MAN 😭😭

...Ur just staring at these half cracked, baked clay tablet thingys, full of slang from like 2003-

Alhaitham coughs.

"Uh, thanks. ...Sorry about all the.. trouble with this..."

BRO HOW OLD DOES HE THINK U ARE NOW-

"This task assigned to mine own person was of no trouble to my mind or spirit, Greatest Lord, fret not about it any longer."

And with a sort of shell-shocked atmosphere surrounding both of you, Alhaitham walks off to check out some other restricted books, hovering nearby yet also trying to give u space LOL

Top 10 cursed images: Seeing "Chillax, bro, dude, and weeb" carved into ancient clay tablets that look like they would be part of the Egyptian exhibit back in ur world 💀

◇

You eventually just kind of end up writing a couple pages after studying the writings, going younger and younger (nothing has ever made u feel more powerful...yet also more old..)

You stretch, just as Alhaitham finally has made his own little stack of creaky old books

He seems very curious to read what u wrote, peaking a glance over the top of his book every so often (lol nerd, cute nerd... but NERDDD)

You just offer the academic lunatic what he wants 🙄

"Haha, wanna take a look? Some drafts are... closer than others..."

The scribe immediately puts his book down, not even saving his page,

"I would be honored, Greatest Lord."

Is he excited?? 💀 omfg

U very slowly hand ur most recent practice pages over, he curls his hand under his chin "hmm" ing

...Alhaitham shakes his head

"My..deepest apologizes My Creator, but this still seems, at the earliest, from when papyrus was invented, and not yet even into scrolls..."

OK BUT ALHAITHAM WOULD GENUINELY GIVE NO FUCKS ABT CRITIQING YOU, HE MAY BE MORE POLITE ABT IT BUT EVEN IF U DID MAKE THE WORLD HES GOING FOR IT

KAVEH HAS A HEART ATTACK BC HIS ROOMMATE GOT ONTO GOD LMAO

U let ur head plop on ur pile of papers, srry babe youll never be as fancy as Mr. Darcy 😕

And as ur resting there, contemplating just walking out and finding smth to eat instead- same

Alhaitham picks up another draft.

Except it's your first attempt.

As in, you didn't even try, first attempt.

You just made some bullet point notes or some Bs, in ur regular. modern. language.

Alhaitham knocks his chair over standing up so fast-

(HE GETS SHUSHED BY THE RESTRICTED LIBRARIAN LOL, also another person unafraid to scold God lol)

...he says its a perfect example of the oldest records they've found of writing on the continent, most of which they haven't even translated yet

He asks u to teach him how to read this/speak like this lol

♧

(^^^not my best work but hope yall got smth outta it💀)

I WAS LITERALLY GONNA MAKE A WHOLE POST ON THE NEURODIVERGENT EXPERIENCE OF BEING A GOD IN TEYVAT

ESPECIALLY OF THE LANGUAGE BARRIER VARIETY!!!

THERES JUST

ACK

aCK HDHAKD

SO MUCH

TO SAY

!!!

AHHHHH

OK BUT LIKE

IF WE ACTUALLY TOOK THIS TO THE EXTREME IM IMPLYING IT WOULD BE

LIKE TEYVAT SPEAKS SEVERAL DECADES BEHIND U- MAYBE EVEN ACTUALLY

CLOSE TO PRIDE AND PREJUDICE TIMES SPEECH

THEY WOULD LITERALLY BARELY COMPHREHEND YOU

IMAGINE TRYING TO TALK TO MR. DARCY 😭

THATS LITERALLY ALL OF TEYVAT

JUST

???¿¿?????!!! <- THEM ALL THE TIME

ESP IF UR NEURODIVERGENT

I THINK IT WOULD BE EVEN MORE PROOF FOR THEM TO THINK UR GOD

BC UR BEHAVIOR WOULD BE "OFF" TO THEIR NEUROTYPICAL ASSES,

YOUR FACIAL EXPRESSIONS,

LIKE UR MASKING MAYBE BUT

U CANT KEEP THAT SHIT UP ALL THE TIME-

ESP IN CRAZY ISEKAI CIRCUMSTANCES

AND LIKE-

(ok ill tone it down before i also get shushed)

U used to be a player!!

Which would maybe mean u got rlly comfy playing Genshin all the time!

...like i know im kinda stimming when im gaming (and my natural stim is rocking so yeah no way they wouldnt notice that 💀)

So, since u may be still yknow unconsciously wanting to be comfy (esp around ur mains/team/favs)

U probably have stimmed a little around them, which, not that neurotypicals dont stim, but like

They would notice after awhile

And esp people like Alhaitham, Zhongli, Ningguang, Xiao, Ei, Aether/Lumine, Kaeya, Diluc, Kazuha, Heizou, Shenhe, Kokomi, Sara, Albedo, Dainsleif- !! GASP- !! <- my bbygirl omg i forgot abt u before now im so sorry </3

(once again i have not checked a character list, forgive my sins my readers)

^^^ Are like pretty focused on you/observant, so they'd eventually pick up on it first probably

..

...

....which allsssooo means they're like, collecting all ur neurodivergent thingys lol to compile as EVIDENCE AGAINST YOU AS TO WHY THEY KNOW UR THE CREATOR LMAO

◇

Honestly the biggest factor against u is definitely social interaction,, srry love :/

(if it helps, its bc i know itd be my downfall too thats why thats there ^ 😔)

Mostly bc i have this idea/theory? obervation? that when I especially met Adepti for the first time

Esp ones that werent as close to human society for as long as some others (like think Xiao vs. Ganyu)

And for literally every other non-human people we've met so far in Genshin-

They kinda- they kinda, radiate neurodivergent energy??

Like, they're not adherring to social norms, and not in like a bad way,

But its still rlly obvious (i mean also its probably exaggerated for us as an audience) that theyre not human pretty quickly

coughzhonglicough

COUGHVENTICOUGH-

oh geez wow excuse me, cold weather must be gettin to me- ahem hem-

Anyway, like what Nexy said in the ask,

...

...Yall are all just tiptoing around each other 😭😭

Bc these ppl arent from Earth countries,

All their behavior is weird to you 😭

U dont know how to mask with them yet 😭😭

THE UNBELIEVABLE AMOUNT OF MISCOMMUNICATION THAT HAPPENS ALREADY WHEN UR NEUROSPICY VS. NEUROBLAND PPL

IS LIKE, ALMOST WORSE??

Bc they cant even understand ur phrasing bc its so simple 😭😭😭

◇

Tldr: "Being Neurodivergent means ur a god, confirmed." - says all of Teyvat's denizens

◇

NEXYLAZA.

MY BELOVED.

I AM IN LOVE WITH UR BRAIN.

IF I COULD GIVE IT A HUG I WOULD🫂✨️👏👏👏👏

BC I WAS ALREADY LIKE IN THE BACK OF MY MIND LIKE-

*rubs my little rat gremlin hands together*

"hmHmHMMMM BuT wHaT iF mAYbE yOU reMeMbeREd cReATinG TeyVAT, hmHMHMMMMM"

AND FOR VERBALIZING IT WITHIN BLUNT LANGUAGE AU- !!!!!!!

(one of my favs, if u cant tell)

I would (platonically) kiss you right now dude.

Instead I give this:

♡ ily

And also, I AM GOING TO MAKE A WHOLE POST ABOUT THIS-

MAYBE EVEN A FANFIC, OR ONE SHOT AHDHAKFHSKLAAL-

UNTIL NEXT TIME MY BELOVED PARTNER IN CRIME <333

PSPSPSPSsppspspspssss Last Time! CLOSES TOMORROW @1pm CST: VOTE on my 100+ followers celebration POLL :)

Tell me what u wanna see me write about! PSPSPSPSpspspspssss

(U can vote even if ur new! :] )

THANK YOU FOR SUBMITTING THIS ASK

THIS IS A TREASURE OF MINE NOW

GONNA HIDE IT IN MY LITTLE CAVE OF SCREENSHOTTED SAGAU POSTS <333 hehehehehehehehehehe

THIS IS LIKE PT2 TO MY ORIGINAL LANGUAGE POST AHHHHH

NEXY BIG BRAIN ILYSM <3

Cheers,

🌒🌧🌊Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza lol ur own ask im a menace sorry

[autisticlancemcclain]

thank u @zenstrike for the tag <333333333 i see ur mic and i'm elated about it

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

185! but i haven't updated in like a week and a half so we're probably closer to 190

2. what’s your total ao3 word count?

556,104. i am very excited to watch it jump up when i finally finish my longfic teehee

3. what fandoms do you write for?

literally just voltron lol. well not counting baby me's wattpad lol. i started writing almost two years ago and just went ham basically. i've been intentionally avoiding things that i know i will get hyperfixated on bc i don't want to stop my writing obsession lol

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

ooooou i'm excited to check. i know it's changed quite a bit over time. i usually sort them by hits!

i will grind you to sand (beneath my louboutin heels) [voltron, 2573 words]: bamf lance fic where i give him a revolver and let him go ham basically

mr. snuggles [voltron, 1656 words]: one of my very earliest fics! lance, lover of weirdo animals, finds a demonic cat-sized spider and adopts it despite his friend's freakouts

he might not look like he gets bitches (but honey that dick was eleven inches) [voltron, 1136 words]: this one is so dorky lol but it's just secret relationship klance coming to light in the most embarrassing possible way

does anyone know where the love of god goes (when the waves turn the minutes to hours) [voltron, 4283]: a canon divergence au where lance is a seer and convinces the skeptics on his team of his abilities by ending the war

this is the part of me that you're never gonna ever get away) [voltron, 3262 words]: a lance & shiro hurt/comfort with a small autistic lance character study! i'm very proud of this one

5. do you respond to comments?

i definitely do on tumblr! it's one of the first things i do when i wake up actually. on ao3, though...i'm pretty sure i have about eight hundred unanswered comments sitting in my inbox 💀 it's an ongoing issue

6. what’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i'm almost sure it's this post-game show lance leaving fic, because i got comments and asks for weeks begging me to write a happy ending lol. but this fic from the hana universe, from when keith is little and shiro is fighting for custody and they haven't figured things out yet. that one is sad. this dream pov adashi fic is also sad and has no happy ending bc, you know. shiro is in space and adam thinks he's dead and everything. my loneliest series is also still in progress and as such there is no happy ending. and this is my earliest angsty-ending fic with MCD

7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

oh god pretty much everything i write has a happy ending?? if i’m being serious?? frankly i don’t do a lot of linear plot. i just write Scenes that are vaguely connected. BUT my h2o fic had a plot that ended happily, as did my cowboy fic, but truly i’m more of a slice of life kinda gal. all my active wips are plot-driven, though, and i plan for all of them to end happily.

8. do you get hate on fics?

oh god yeah. i get it on brown eyed lance, autistic lance, adhd keith, allura just in general (are you sensing a pattern), my refusal to use readmores, and lately just some demands for me to write differently/more?? most of it is just funny so i post it to goof on it lol, but some of it i just delete and pout about until i forget about it 💀

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

yes and it’s nasty and i will literally never ever post it. although i guess i’ve written some softer stuff that’s more allusion than anything, like in my loneliest series.

10. do you write crossovers? what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

not anymore, but i did when i was a kid?? i think i wrote a pjo/hoo/divergent/the mortal instruments/homestuck/a bunch of other shit fic when i was 13. i’ve successfully blocked that era out of my mind tho so i’m not sure. i do a lot of insane aus, tho. i wrote a fic based off a country song written in the sixties. so.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

i’ve had people write continuations of my wips?? which i didn’t rly like. i just ignored it.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

someone has asked me about translating a fic before! haven’t heard anything since tho.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

i have tried. i’m not very good at it. i have very Specific ideas about things and can be very controlling, so it’s honestly better that i don’t lol.

14. what’s your all-time favorite ship?

klance, easy. been in the trenches of this goddamn fandom since i was 13 years of age. it’s been a Journey.

15. what’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

god, the butterfly effect. i get people asking me to update all the time and i genuinely feel bad, because i have absolutely no ideas or plans for it. i might try to come up with an ending of some kind?? but i wrote that like two years ago, so i have changed a LOT about my writing since then.

16. what are your writing strengths?

dialogue and humour, i think. and sometimes writing lack of emotional communication (if that makes sense — i like to try and write around an emotion).

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

i over explain a lot. and i overuse dialog ur tags sometimes. i have a Very Specific scene playing out in my head and i want everyone else to see it like i’m seeing it, which is my downfall a lot. i’ve been trying to work on implicit stage directions.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i think sometimes it’s necessary? it can be a good tool for humour, like with cussing that can’t be achieved in english. but while i understand and read several languages i have always always struggled to speak or write in them. it’s very frustrating so i often avoid the subject entirely lol.

19. first fandom you wrote for?

i’ve been writing fanfic in my head since before i knew what it was, but i started typing things at around 11 when i used to homestuck roleplay with my friends lol. messy messy times.

20. favorite fic you’ve ever written?

oh i am my own target audience. i have several.

i need a man (who’s patient and kind): keith-centric post canon (divergence) fic where lance takes him to his family and keith is good with kids and just keith being loved is the whole point. always.

what if i lose it all: an alternate universe where lance, as a baby, loses both his parents, and then is raised by his oldest siblings. in luis’ pov.

when does a ripple become a tidal wave (when does the reason become the flame): brogane fight & angst canon divergence post season 6; covering shiro’s guilt complex and keith’s unwavering loyalty

he’s into superstitions (black cats and voodoo dolls): halloween verse with witch lance and vampire keith! i have barely spoken about this au on here but rest assured i’m thinking about it all the fucking time

the applebee’s universe: modern au with young keith and lance learning how to love each other

ceilings (plaster): non-linear dream-like fic that’s just so trippy and strange i’m obsessed with it

if the sky comes falling down (for you) there’s nothing in this world i wouldn’t do: a keith character study about how the biggest bleeding heart in the universe loves

the hana universe: brogane-centric universe as their family starts rocky and grows

thank u again for the tag zen <33 open offer for anyone else who would like to hop on!!

[the-one-who-lambs]

AO3 Questions Tag Game!

I was tagged by @bamsara (on my main @onethirdofimpossible but most of my readers follow me here for cotl stuff so I'm posting it here)

I tag @i-eat-deodorant and @megsiepoo!

Under the readmore because this is long as shit

1 – How many works do you have on AO3?

69 BAYBEEEE

2 – What’s your total AO3 word count?

213,360 words published

3 – What fandoms do you write for?

Previously: Pokemon (no longer online), Steven Universe, a few Deep-Sea Prisoner games (Wadanohara and the Great Blue Sea, The Grey Garden, Ice Scream)

Currently: Cult of the Lamb

4 – What are your top five fics by kudos?

The Care and Keeping of Eldritch Gods. Until the rewrite of RL/FG is done, this is my magnum opus

Present My first ever CotL fic. This was the first time I'd written fic in like four years and I was dusting off my writing muscles...

Smitten soft narilamb....

Cat(nip) Boy wrote this for shits and giggles in my early fandom days. The One Who Waits on catnip

How Narinder Takes His Tea First part of the old RL/FG series. Though I'm remaking it as a longform multichap fic, I'm keeping up the old series because of the memories + I don't want other people who saved the old one to lose it.

5 – Do you respond to comments?

All the time! I was able to respond to literally every single comment back in 2022, but as last year went on, I realized I probably can't realistically do that anymore. It's a blessing and a curse.

6 – What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

We already knew how this would turn out. Title not given directly in my answer in case of spoilers. My readers saw it coming because I had built up to it, but I took my time writing the gradual reveal in the last chapter to make sure it landed the way I wanted it to.

And one more comment I won't post here bc (for anyone who wants to read it) spoils the ending but shoutout to the person who physically felt the shock lurch through their body when the realization hit them after the slow build-up.

As much as I love angsty stories with happy endings, what gets me more are stories that are happy at face value, with endings that are heartwrenching because of the underbelly of what lurked beneath that facade.

7 – What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

The Risen Lamb and the Fallen God. Bit a spoilers below if you're avoiding that

The original wedding fic (as part of the original series) is up, but it's going to get a good polishing in the rewrite. Lambert and Narinder are going to have a private first dance, Thenana and Narinder are going to have a deeper conversation, Ratau's interactions with Lambert are gonna be shown rather than just told, Aym and Baal will be revived.

8 – Do you get hate on fics?

Mostly no. There was one time last year that I was compared to another writer in the fandom and slowly asks evolved into "your own concepts are being done better by others" and shit, and the other writer got hate messages as well, and... well, it was a whole thing. Don't wanna talk too in detail about it because I don't wanna beat a dead horse but cotl writers have unionized so we got the last laugh I guess

9 – Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

lol ya it's on remainderofreality. What "kind?" uh. experimental because I'd never tried the genre before this fandom and it kinda shows but that's okay.

10 – Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Honestly, I'm not really into crossovers! Unless it's Webber in cotl. He can stay, he's cute.

11 – Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yeah. It was actually the first fic I posted online, ever. In middle school, I wrote a whole ~100k-ish word self-insert pokemon fanfic, which I wrote by hand in like five composition notebooks, so I never posted that online. But after that I decided to post shorter one-shots for pokemon online, and a few months later I found one of mine reposted without credit. Plagiarized entirely, basically. It scared me and I deleted everything I had posted online, and I don't have extra copies of the works now. :(

12 – Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope, but I'd be okay with it if I was asked beforehand and proper credit was given!

13 – Have you ever co-written a fic?

Yeah! Of Duty and Devotion is basically a glorified roleplay between me as Aym, @i-eat-deodorant as Baal, @checkplzjuliet as The Lamb, and @surfdudeboy as Narinder. I also wrote Hide and Seek, a cute little Bishop family one-shot, with @lordiedams (hi Damien I miss you).

14 – What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Narilamb. I haven't focused on a ship for this long, except maybe Rupphire back in the day, but I'm fixated so much more on CotL than I was for SU.

15 – What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Honestly, Of Duty and Devotion lmao. I'm much more focused on my own projects and so are Pavi, Surf, and Juliet. I do want to finish it though.

16 – What are your writing strengths?

Pacing, diction, syntax, getting the intended point across and doing it well. Once I commit to doing something, I don't usually let myself "give up" on it, hence why I barely have any unfinished WIPs. That's a skill honed with tons of practice, though. I have massive ADHD, and I'm bad at finishing things, but when it comes to writing by god I'm gonna do it.

17 – What are your writing weaknesses?

I often struggle to get to a point where I'm totally focused in on what I'm writing. It does happen once or twice a month, but honestly, I'm usually so busy with life stuff that I don't get to do that most of the time! I wish I had more time to make room for my hobbies, but alas. At least summer is coming up, and I'll be able to do that more often, hopefully!

18 – Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

It's possible to do it naturally for sure, but I rarely see it done well in fic. I've never attempted it...... or, wait, have I? I guess Thenana's sign language counts, huh? ...I feel like I need to do more research about this topic to answer the question properly.

19 – First fandom you wrote for?

Pokemon <3

20 – Favorite fic you’ve written?

The Risen Lamb and the Fallen God or The Care and Keeping of Eldritch Gods.

Risen/Fallen (and the enemies-to-lovers narilamb dynamic) was like the first thing that I did to make a "mark" on this fandom, and I didn't expect it to inspire so many people for sure! But, the first iteration of the series was so rushed. I wrote the whole thing in just over three weeks and averaged one chapter published every day and a half. Now that I have a better grasp on the characters after playing with them for a long while, I get to see my improvement, and I get to see so many friends I've made along the way sticking with me, the revamped "director's cut" version is definitely on track to be my favorite work.

However. It has yet to surpass Care and Keeping. As the oldest of four kids in my family, I based so much of Shamura on my experiences as an eldest sibling, and many of the experiences the younger bishops had in their formative years on our own childhoods. I based Narinder's childhood off of brother #1's (brother who is two years younger than me), Kallamar's childhood on my own, Heket's childhood on my sister's (five years younger than me), and Leshy's off of my youngest brother's (ten years younger than me). This story wasn't just an exploration of the Bishops and their dynamic/relationship pre-canon, it's also a testament to my own love as an eldest sibling... and all the anxiety associated with that, too.

Thanks for tagging me! Back to working on my presentation...

[asthedeathoflight]

For the writing asks: M, J, B!

M - whats the weirdest scenario/au you've come up with? Have you actually written it?

Oh my god this is hard bc like how do you define weird. I think I've gotta give the shoutout to my long-running No Magic au of my original fiction, which is where i put all my really self indulgent wish fulfillment stuff for my ocs that wouldn't work in canon, purely because the implication that their lives would have been so much better if magic didn't exist is really funny. Also because in the no magic au Dezzy keeps on with her career in the theater and so I get to imagine all the shows she would have been in. If it weren't for all the magic. I havent written any of this bc there isnt a plot to the no magic au its just vibes. Like half of it is just me imagining the kind of twitter discourse there would be about my ocs if they were famous.

J - whats your favorite trope? Have you written it?

I loooove soulmate aus sorry im bad aromantic representation but they r so good... Like okay just to be a hater for a second but I think a lot of people are really unfair when they talk about soulmate aus and it's soooo clear they've never read any. Like it's actually pretty common to have aro characters and explore the aro experience in soulmate aus (altho theyre usually side characters) like if you don't like reading romance in general yeah its not gonna be your thing but in my experience the complaint that its insta-love or some kind of existential horror that forces potential aro people into relationships is just completely baseless. People will say "i would only read soulmate aus if they explored xyz" and then list things which are major themes in like sixty percent of soulmate fic. Ppl who write soulmate aus aren't idiots. They are in fact aware of and capable of addressing the Implications. The Implications are actually half the fun.

Anyways hater moment over. Yes I have! DM soulmate au is very precious to me. Like Daniel and Armand are literally soulmates you don't get it. Normal IWTV is already a soulmate au. To me.

B - what was the first fandom you read fic in? Wrote fic in?

Oh god I think the first fandom I read fic for was Undertale way back in the day. They had some diabolical shit going on in that fandom. And I don't even mean like sex stuff undertale fic writers loved just absolute nightmare angst fics. Flowey is Not a Good Life Coach fucked me up. Really good tho 10/10 do not regret.

And then the first time I ever wrote fic was for Wolf 359 because the finale fucked me up and i just lay awake in bed for like a week with that fic on a loop in my mind until i finally got up and wrote it lol. Actually very funny hypocrisy on my part because i saw a poll of least favorite fanfic tags and was almost gonna vote fix-it fics and yet my first fanfic WAS a fix-it fic..... Anyways i mostly dont read fix-it fics bc i like messy endings and my wolf 359 fic was a "goddamnit you do NOT get the clean separation of dying, get back here and answer for your fucking crimes" fic.

[princesssszzzz]

Question. Did you actually read the books? Or is most of your idea of Rhaena (she's fantastic), Aemond and Daeron who are more like that father of hers you hate than you seem to want to admit, based on fanon?

I never speak about Daemon outside of the occasional Nettles post or how he’s a bad father I’m assuming your talking about the latter. I don’t hate any characters but not gonna pretend Daemon is a good dad. Half the people following me are Daemon stans. They either agree or don’t care what I say about him bc he’s not a real person 😂I’m not on any team so I’m not going to hate or support a character based on which side they are.

Daemon is not Mufasa in the books either he was never winning fatherhood awards. Even Otto Hightower kissed his daughter on the head. But I don’t jump in and out of the book when it comes to Daemon. My opinion on him is strictly HOTD which is why I only tag post with him HOTD. Daemon is not Ned Stark in book or show. It’s his fans only making “the father that stepped up” memes. There’s no casual viewer that would ever call him an amazing father because he’s not. What do you lose by admitting Daemon is not a good dad to his daughters? You can’t claim to love Rhaena and Baela and say it’s ok for them to be treated like trash and neglected. You love extensions of Daemon (not even Laena) to conjure up a family image but you don’t like them. They don’t exist to make him look like a good person they are young girls not PR agents. But you don’t have to pretend to like them just stop telling me he’s a good dad. If Otto or Viserys treated Alicent or Rhaenyra like this we would never hear the end of it. You could at least chalk it up to bad writing but saying he's a good dad is just a lie. You’ve never seen me defend anything Aemond and Daeron ever did so...I’m assuming your talking about my fanfics? I never speak about Daeron’s book actions and I don’t talk about Aemond outside of his parallels to Rhaena or the occasional silly shipping post. I’m just writing random stuff + delving into Rhaena’s feelings about how she’s treated. I actually wouldn’t be writing any of it if the show did that so don’t be annoyed with me be annoyed with Ryan. Mr. Condal who also claims Daemon’s family is his “brother and niece.” The guy who wrote him not even considering his kids as his family so how do you get perfect dad from that. What I post about or write for Rhaena (besides obvious AUs where she’s out of character) comes from what I’ve seen in the show mixed in a little with her book personality. 100% show Rhaena includes Daemon ignoring her so if my writing her response to being ignored confuses or bothers you, it’s probably because you pretend he’s not ignoring her. It’s actually impossible to speak about Rhaena without talking about Daemon’s neglect because she’s lived with him her entire life. She’s always next to him. I’m not making anything up I’m just going based from the show. Like I said I’m not on either team so I have no partisan views on anyone. I don’t have underlying reasons to saying Daemon is not a good father it’s just the truth lol I’m not a Daemon hater. Aemond is also a piece of shit if you go through my post I have more content critiquing him than Daemon if anything. Maybe you assumed I’m an Aemond simp extremist bc I ship Rhaemond but I’m not I just like that they have a lot in common and I think their personalities are interesting together😂 If Daemon smacked the shit out of Aemond for what he did to Rhaena and Baela I would have been perfectly happy. I don’t care if Daeron and Aemond behaved just like Daemon they aren’t her dad so *shrug* Again I wouldn’t even have this blog or be talking about this if people weren’t lying and trying to portray her as satisfied to be treated like shit. Anyways to answer your question my idea of Rhaena is realistic Rhaena. Not lost on me that people love the idea of ‘sit down, shut up, pour wine, support us, smile and nod at these people’ Rhaena......you don’t really like Rhaena. If my dream Rhaena comes to fruition in season 2 you will hate her and will be posting rants about her. I’ve already seen some Daemon fans insulting her for the Hightower husband and “making him look like a bad person”

[raviniaraven]

@eldritchsquared This has made me very happy bc I love my Disaster Man and I gotta make more stuff with him

(Context for everyone else, I put these tags on a thing about OCs:)

This explanation is gonna be kinda long so I'm gonna put it into a ReadMore

So! This is one of my oldest OCs, Dorian Pierce!

I recently redrew him bc I'm hoping to make a short VN game for Halloween about him and another one of my OCs named Sana!

So explaining his story is hella complicated and idk if it makes sense but I'm gonna try! He lives in a town called Lacrymosa, and his initial plot is that he gets these blackout fugue states where he goes out and kills people, then shows back up at his house like "ah hell not again". He ends up in a relationship with my OC Sana, bc when he runs into her the fugue states stop, and only start up again when she's not around for too long. Sana is a sweetheart 100% and doesn't learn about the Murder Tendencies until they've been together for a hella long time, and the initial story I wrote for them revolved around when Dorian gets arrested for the murders, escapes, and while Sana is helping him hide they get into a shootout with police; he dies, she flips out and starts shooting at the people that shot him, and also dies.

That was the initial plan. Then I started fleshing it out more, and his backstory started to incorporate one of my other oldest OCs, Mystere:

This is Mystere! She's a God that's basically responsible for creating 95% of my OCs, as well as the afterlife that became my story focus as I developed more stuff, a place I called Libra; the current overall format of the stories that I'm working on involves a different character named Rayne who is a conduit for other spirit's memories, where she can relive them and repair spiritual damage (also she's Dorian's granddaughter, I'll get to that).

Dorian was originally a sort of guard of Libra, keeping unwanted powers from entering. Think the angels outside of the Garden of Eden, flaming sword and all. He ended up trying to usurp Mystere, and She handily kicked his ass; the scars he's got everywhere are from this Godly Ass-Kicking.

As a punishment for his actions, She made him into a human, and in the process his spirit got kinda scratched up and corrupted, which is what caused the fugue states. Sana has an innate ability to semi-repair damage to spirits, so being around her calms Dorian's fugue states; she doesn't know about this, she's just sweet and likes helping people.

So after their deaths, both Dorian and Sana end up back in Libra as their afterlife. Through rules about spiritual connections based on affection and relationships, they end up creating the spirit of their son, Dante. Dante eventually decides he wants to see what stuff is like outside of Libra, and manages to convince Mystere to make him human (since the process is willing this time, it's not as damaging as it was to Dorian).

Unfortunately, he's kind of an asshole. Dante ends up being a dictator of a place I called Imperi, and does a lot of pretty awful shit, including waging massive wars and experimenting with human augmentations (I have a handful of characters that are the results of these experiments, they're kinda lizard/human hybrids)

Eventually, Dorian and Sana are sent back to the human world for the purpose of trying to stop their dick of a son from destroying everything. They arrive in the middle of a revolution, as Dante is trying to escape Imperi. Sana tries to talk to him about what he's been doing, he says some insulting things to her, and Dorian gets pissed. You know how I mentioned that he used to have a flaming sword? He got it back when they went to stop Dante, and uses the spirit-specific nature of the sword to basically slice Dante's spirit in half.

This leads to Dante becoming Cursed, and I still have to flesh out the details of what that means beyond a change in appearance, but he ends up hiding out in another country I made called Gelia. He mainly wanted to hide out in Gelia bc that's where his ex-wife, Aura, went when the revolution hit Imperi; Aura wants nothing to do with him, but he wanted to stay close to keep an eye on their daughter, Rayne.

Eventually Rayne becomes friends with Dante (she doesn't know it's him, she knows him by the name Damien and she's only seen old photos of Dante). They end up going to help some of Rayne's friends that got stuck on an island where a lot of the lizard hybrids caused by Dante's experimentation ended up, and eventually one of the hybrids recognizes Dante and tries to attack him; Rayne tries to protect him and ends up dying instead, ending up in Libra and meeting her grandparents and a bunch of other related characters.

I have a massive family tree of related characters that end up in Libra, and eventually I'm going to write a good draft of the story I'm planning out of Rayne being a Conduit and experiencing all of their memories and stuff. I think I have some hella old drafts floating around on different fiction sites, but their pretty far from canon now

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to gush about my babies! I hope this made any sort of sense, in my head all this kinda looks like a corkboard full of drawings and red strings

[welcometogrouchland]

Hey dude I totally know how you feel wrt feeling like shit when people are negative about your hyperfixation. It really is the worst. I hope you can take some time to chill on your own today and take it easy, and hopefully things will get a bit better soon

Aw, first of all, thank you sm!! - the days almost up where I am but I think I'm gonna be indulging in a lot of creature comforts these next few days as I try to meet my deadlines and get through things. Lots of comfort movies and hot water bottles 💙

Second of all, RIGHT?! IT'S THE WORST MAN!!! I was thinking about the latest owl house episode when I wrote those tags because the thing is, I don't think it's perfect and i outlined my thoughts on why shortly after it aired, but overall I wanted to focus on the parts of the episode I did like because. That's fun for me! And easy! And I want fandom to be a fun and easy hobby like most people! But engaging with stuff outside my bubble has been more angst than it's worth, y'know? Obviously I don't think anything is immune to criticism and I think there's a line between things that need to be discussed at some point in order to have a full, informed picture of the work and it's flaws but then there's just. People being annoying in tags.

Again I can't tell if it's me being too autistic for this stuff, being too emotionally burnt out to process external criticism of things I love, or if it's just me getting increasingly more pissed off with a lack of understanding of who's in what tags and why (something I'm sure has always existed and factored into fandom discussion and discourse but which I'm getting a lot more often rn bc of the things I like and the communities that attracts. Aka cartoon twitter /j). Frankly the amount of disclaimers I've put in this unsolicited rant just shows how getting your interests constantly dunked on makes you insecure about them. I will say though that I am really lucky to have irl friends who also share my interests. It's new and weird and I love it.

Sorry for the rant, thought dumping is just therapeutic for me sometimes. I hope you have a good day too <3

[swiftfootedachilles]

I love the Ghost Hunters AU and I really want more of Salem. Especially Salem with the Milkovich siblings.

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 thank you. ive always wanted a black cat named either princess or salem and i thought it would make sense since its a ghost hunter au (even tho i skipped over all the ghost stuff so my post wasnt a million words long) with terry not around i feel like the milkoviches would love playing with animals. Salem is a very adventurous, people-loving cat! you know, the kind of cat people say were a dog in their past life. of course she loves the gallaghers too! even carl makes a point to be nice to her (after, when she was a kitten, ian beat him up for making a joke) but the milkoviches dont really get to show affection ever, so they love getting to play with her and scratch her lil belly and give her treats they stole from the pet store. they all adore her but ofc after ian and mickey get together and he comes over to the gallaghers a shitton, mickey becomes her 2nd dad. he goes to the top of her favorite people list. nobody else plays with her the way he does! hes not afraid to get a little rough, but he knows whats signs to look out for when a cat is not playing/irritated. shes still young and she loves playing!! imagine toddlers who like getting thrown around because its fun, shes like that. she gets kicked out and put in a different room when they fuck, and she uses this time to get in as much trouble as possible, knock shit over, and annoy anyone else in the house. ALSO she LOVES liam!! they literally grow up together and fiona teaches him how to treat animals so by the time hes like 5, she moves from sleeping with ian to sleeping with liam

i imagined ian and mandy meeting at the same time, so when salem is 2 that would be s3 ish. when he first found her, ian had just started his job and scrounged up every penny he could find to take her to a low cost clinic to get spayed and vaxxed. other than being skinny and dehydrated (and ofc separated from her mom as a kitten) she was in surprisingly good shape! now shes so used to being spoiled by everyone! ian LOVES taking care of others and being of service so he really found a home in Salem, treating her like his kid and giving her the best life possible. i definitely think once he gets diagnosed with BD, he pays (with mostly mickeys money lbr) for her to be his emotional support animal and takes her to as many pet friendly places at possible!

like i said she becomes kinda the mascot of the ghost hunting youtube channel they eventually start. its not something they see as a career or anything, they do it as a hobby, but they gain decent attraction and make extra money on the side from ads and a few brand deals. ofc Salem is the reason everyone watches the channel 🙄 she's in pretty much every video, and they chose her as their icon bc 1. black cat spooky duh 2. she brought them together 🥺 3. she really does show up A LOT in videos, especially when they're not urban exploring/hunting and at home recording the historical backgrounds and debriefings for each location. also yes they do urban exploring as well, thats mainly mickey and mickey and whatever milkovich wants to tag along and graffiti an abandoned building. imagine a combination of The Watcher and Dan Bell (omfg now im imagining them doing Another Dirty Room???? 😭 they would be so offended at paying money for rooms worse than their own back in the southside) but with less production value

ok omg i wrote so much im gonna stop now before i go off the rails again. how did i fall in love with this random ass au from a trope generator. reminder that i accidentally deleted the og post so it wont turn up in searches unless youre on my blog or the blog of anyone else who rbed it :)

[rayne-the-neutrois-nerd]

Thank you for tagging me!! Sorry this is so long

1. Are you named after anyone? Technically? My deadname anyways. My mom chose it because it was the name of a baby in a show she loved. My dad also agreed on my middle name because of a bull rider. My chosen name was... a lot of trial and error but I settled on Rayne bc I love the rain. Also my friends said it fit.

2. When was the last time you cried? A couple thursdays ago? Idk I wrote it down... I'm weird and write down when I cry and why bc I rarely cry bc I'm dumb and suppress it. Don't be dumb like me.

3. Do you have kids? Nope! Don't want any anytime soon either!

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? No, I'm always serious. I hate sarcasm. (Btw, this is sarcasm)

5. What sports do you play/have you played? Besides what we had to do in p.e., I was on the basketball team in 6th grade but... had to leave bc I had bad grades but also the girls were fucking mean. I did one summer of competitive swimming but I didn't like it that much, I just prefer to swim around at my own pace doin my own thing. I tried tennis once but that requires being quick on your feet. I also used to go with my dad to golf as a kid and got to putt. Kinda wanna go again ngl. Oh yeah and one winter in Yosemite we went up to Badger Pass to ski.

6. What's the first thing you notice about other people? Uh, physically maybe hair and clothes? General color palate? Body language too.

7. What's your eye color? I guess hazel? They're like a blend of green brown and a tiny bit of grey? They're not green but a sort of olive color.

8. Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings, I hate scary movies.

9. Any special talents? Um. I dunno? I can talk for hours to myself going on tangent after tangent about random shit? Is that a talent? I guess I also pick up on things quickly, like I got really good at playing flute quick, marching quick, drum majoring, etc. Nothing really special or weird. Oh, I'm pretty good with language related stuff too.

10. Where were you born? The sweaty taint of California... aka Fresno.

11. What are your hobbies? *deep breath* Playing music, conducting, writing, bullet journalling, book binding, various witchcraft things, d&d, video games (esp jrpgs), solving puzzles, knitting, talking way too fucking much, a bit of sewing, learning languages, marine biology, etc etc...

12. Do you have pets? I'm not sure if my cat, Wakka, is still around my old house bc its been over a month since the snowstorm and we all think she just moved on to another home (still gonna search for her when we go back up) BUT!! My lovely cousin is making sure I get this little tortiseshell calico that was just born a week ago, I'm so excited! And my dad is either getting the orange or grey tabby, they're not 100% sure. But its gonna be a bit before they move in.

13. How tall are you? 5'5 ish? I'm like smack 5'4.5 and it depends on the doctor which way they round it.

14. Favorite subject in school? Band and French. I love music and languages and those two class periods were like, the only thing keepin me going back then because I genuinely had fun with them. English was fine too until Senior year when I went into a.p. and it was just fucking Philosophy. I just wanted to be in a class where people knew how to use commas, not to read Plato

15. Dream job? Author! Or bookbinder! Or both! Publish a novel and as a special thing, handbind limited edition copies of them! Also do stuff in the old days where you take bookbinding commisions where they give you the text block of the book and I make a custom covers for them. Author is definitely the base though, I just can't stick to just one thing, I like doing too many things.

For tags... hhhmm. @a-star-that-fell @catboyelimgarak @gerardwayoftheday2 @evilqueenliv @deyjahboo you don't gotta if you dony wanna, I'm just taggin

15 questions / 15 mutuals

thanks for the tag @joeschains <3

1. are you named after anyone? -technically no, BUT my mom was ~inspired~ by the drummer of a band. (not saying which one because that would reveal my government name lol)

2. when was the last time you cried? -maybe a couple weeks ago. my medication makes me not be able to cry much. I just feel extra shitty with no way to get it out. :'''')

3. do you have kids? -ABSOLUTELY NOT and don't plan to thanks

4. do you use sarcasm a lot? -never..

5. what sports do you play/have you played? -I played soccer until middle school

6. what’s the first thing you notice about other people? -bro idk...maybe their height?

7. what’s your eye colour? -brown

8. scary movies or happy endings? -depends on what mood I'm in

9. any special talents? -I sing and play guitar (play guitar badly), I also can tattoo

10. where were you born? -new hampshire, gross

11. what are your hobbies? -playing and writing music, tattooing, hiking/fitness, baking

12. do you have any pets? -two cats that are my babies :)

13. how tall are you? -5’3ish

14. favorite subject in school? -history, music, and drama

15. dream job? -god please let me make a living off my music please please please and also dabble in film acting

no pressure tags <3 @moonlitdark @ceriseheaven @the-valkyrie-writes @bowersbubbles @ruby-dragon @sweet-villain @moonchildquinn @josephfakingquinn @quinnsmunson @jaimejamieb @nebulousfishgills

[wackywheel]

c!connor fic rec masterpost!

[img id.] a row of melon blocks, filtered with a gradient of pale purple, blue, and green so that they look pastel. in the bottom left, text reads, “please read these fics they’re so good.” in the bottom right, a sign reads, “eat pant conar.” [end id.]

i talked about making one of these a while back and finally got around to combing thru the tags to compile fics for it so, yo! if you're a fan of c!connor, are looking to figure out how best to characterize him for your own works, just wanna read about him, or any combination of the former, you're in luck!

while the main criteria for stuff to make it on here is that it characterizes connor accurately, nearly all of these are also just fics that i personally like LOL so while i'll try to be as objective as i can for the sake of my fellow c!connor enjoyers, i must be entirely transparent w y'all that this is mostly just fics that i, personally, really like. ...which is technically the purpose of fic rec posts anyways, but i digress...

fics are below the readmore! ↴

ok the way ive ordered all of these is both in categories of.. sort of pseudo genres ? basically theyre just paired/grouped up according to their premise, as well as loosely chronological according to ao3's recently updated filter!

(also, fics with an *asterisk before them are ones that i personally am biased about bc of who wrote them LOL)

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"connor is a god" fics

basically, these fics primarily focus on the hc of connor being a god/immortal that was very popular back before we saw much of him, beyond his appearances in his two tales episodes! while i'm not a huuuge fan of this hc, nor do i really have much to say individually about each fic, i still wanna give these fics props for setting the bar very high when it comes to treating c!connor with respect, reverence, and most of all agency, especially so early on during the post-nov16th months!

There Are Answers Here by angeloncewas

the constant by diapason

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connor & some/all of benchtrio fics

exactly what it says on the tin, this group of fics focuses on connor's relationships with other characters, but primarily with one, more, or all of benchtrio!

Stray Italian Greyhound by akuli holy shit this fic is an absolute classic when it comes to early c!connor content... connor confronts glatt in a very unique way that, honestly? i've rarely seen depicted when it comes to the two interacting! following that, though, connor and tubbo sit down and talk about schlatt in a wholly honest and cathartic way.

*Here Comes the Sun by BeatrixGtheMaskedDogNoobsomeExagerjunk here it is! the first of many, many, of beatrix's fics i'm gonna rec to y'all! okay to be honest, clingyduo's inclusion in this fic is very very minor if we're gonna dig into semantics, but i otherwise had no idea where else to put this because of how genuinely unique it was for its time! (its time being pre-s2 finale) an indepth study of connor's hypothetical interactions with ghostbur here, flashbacks explaining schlatt's ties to the revive book there, this oneshot absolutely killed it, especially so early on in the lifespan of connor-centric works!

Ask No Guarantees by angeloncewas another connor & tubbo fic! there's an alternate reality where i became a devout c!tubbling i'm absolutely sure of it. to summarize it shortly, the two bond over their dead best friends! wahoo grief! there's also some very interesting discussion of in-universe religion which is always very fun imo!

*advice you’ve given other people that was really about yourself by antfrost ok here we go, first fic from beloved mutual connor timedeo lets go lets go character study of connor using conversations with benchtrio as a vehicle fuck YES sir this fic is great. i am an absolute sucker for character analysis, even when it's just little exchanges and acts of kindness from one hurt person to another (also in all honesty this fic was the one that made me change the section title to benchtrio instead of just tubbo/clingyduo LMAO)

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"connor showed up too late" fics

angst time bitches! despite how much c!connor's backstory is built upon angst, and how much i love the little guy, i'm honestly not a huge fan? anyways i fucking love these fics regardless so i think that must say something either about me or them. you decide

Brutus Is An Honorable Man by 2point5 if stray italian greyhound was a classic, then this fic is literally a loadbearing pillar of the c!connor fanbase. holy SHIT is she one iconic collection of words. the premise is pretty simple, connor shows up too late after getting a letter from schlatt asking him to come. he and quackity talk about schlatt. it does not go well. i cannot stress enough though. read this fic. like this is required reading this is canon its 100% canon cc!connor called me and said it is (lying) (theres just a lot of headcanons i like in it im biased) (not joking about the required reading part though)

People Die Every Day, I Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way by orojiratsu ...and if brutus is an honorable man was required reading, then this fic is extra credit! ...literally! as in it was actually inspired by the last fic! very similar premise, but the author gets much more into detail about the aftermath of nov16th, including tubbo's reaction to connor's past with schlatt, as well as lending connor a bit more agency when it comes to going toe to toe with quackity's reaction to schlatt's death.

Lay here with me until the years go by. by zrkk a very short oneshot, but really impactful all the same! one thing i really commend this oneshot for is that despite its length, the author manages to get connor's verbal reactions to schlatt's death nearly spot on. go give it a read!

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"connor reviving / rescuing schlatt" fics

yessssss we're getting into the good stuff, the struggles that end either happily or bittersweetly all the same. these are fics that i constantly find myself rereading when i'm missing c!connor, and cannot reccomend literally all of them enough!

*The Friends We Refuse to Abandon by BeatrixGtheMaskedDogNoobsomeExagerjunk ok this is what i meant before by many of beatrix's fics lol this fic is like. another one that's literally required reading if u like c!connor bc it has absolutely everything u could ask for. connor reviving and reuniting with his bestie? having agency in the narrative? helping people just for the sake of helping them? you name it, we got it here.

twenty thousand years of this by rosewitchx GOD this fic is so fucking iconic as well. i absolutely consider it required reading as well, bc both this one and the last one fill their niche incredibly well rosewitchx's writing and characterization of connor, as well as basically everyone else they write from what ive seen, is incredibly well researched and true to their characters, so this is definitely not the last fic of theirs im going to be reccing on this post lol similar premise to tfwrta, except connor wasn't the one to revive schlatt. regardless, he's still given the assertiveness and narrative agency when rescuing schlatt that makes this fic super cathartic to reread if you're craving that sort of thing! (also, this specific fic is from a series of the author's that explains certain headcanons much better than if you were to just read the fic in isolation. go give it a read over here!)

I'm Tired by Anonymous another short read, but still a very good one! props to anon! this fic emphasizes the 'bittersweet' point i made in this section's intro. schlatt has been revived, and he and connor have reunited, but at what cost of his own physical health?

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smplive-era connor fics

yessss fuck yes fuck YEESSS you people are NOT immune to me making you remember not only smplive, but that its CANON baybee its 100% CANON TO DSMP LETS GOOOOOOOOOOO

*Far In Time (we've got some catching up to do!) by connor6Silly wait hold on

*What Will Happen Will Happen by connor6Silly wait fuck these are literally all just my fics

bro did all of the good c!connor smplive fics all get purged or something ??? i literally cant find any that i like, let alone think characterized connor well bc they all do him so fucking dirtyyyy y'all its awful 😭 so uhh in lieu of that .. read my fics? pretty please? i have a whole promo post for the first one here if u wanna learn more :)

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syndicate/karl oriented connor fics

ok so if y'all know me, you know im a sucker for literally all of connor's relationships on the server that we never see actually explored canonically (s&c im talking about s&c) so to balance that out, here's his friendships that are like. actually fucking real! and tangible!

*THIS IS A PROTEST FOR YOUR HEART! by antfrost yessss another one of connor timedeo's fics this is sorrrt?? of?? an au? one where everything went a-okay on nov28th, and everyone in the syndicate is happy and alive and glad to be able to spend time together. connor especially! bc he has lots of people that are there to care for him now! very short, sweet, and fluffy!

*The Planet With a Thousand Sunsets by BeatrixGtheMaskedDogNoobsomeExagerjunk another beatrix fic!!! and GOD this one is a lot of fun, as well as a companion fic to tfwrta! this fic goes all in on connor and karls friendship, framing it as if it were an actual tales episode with a cast list and everything! as of me making this post (5/22/22) the fic is not complete, so if y'all want to read more of it, i'd really suggest commenting and sharing what you liked about it! (but Do Not pester beatrix about if/when shes going to complete it bc if i hear that shits happening y'all will have hell to pay >:(((( )

*all the broken can find hope (in the most unexpected places) by BeatrixGtheMaskedDogNoobsomeExagerjunk last fic of beatrix's, as well as another syndicate fic! yipee! now, technically this fic might be better suited to go into the final section of this post, but connor's inclusion is not only accurate enough, but also the setting is very much relevant enough for it to slide into here by means of relating to the syndicate. connor's role in this fic is mostly by means of an exploration of his friendship with schlatt, juxtaposing it with emeraldduo's own close bond. two bad bitches (close friendships that came long before the dsmp ever did) kicking ass together instead of fighting one another for relevancy you love to see it <3

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connor-centric au fics

so technically most of these fics could technically be classified as aus, but thats sort of just the state we're in when it comes to actual canonical content of c!connor. Anyways! here's some straight up 100% aus that very much are either in entire other settings, or diverge early on enough in the timeline that the result is completely unrecognizable from what actually happened in canon

god of arepo (series) by rosewitchx this next rosewitchx fic... isn't technically a fic, but a series! the god of arepo series is very much a product of its time (post-exile, pre-doomsday) but it's still 100% a classic in my eyes basically, this au shows the product of the world being entirely claimed by the egg, and how connor, with ghost sweaterduo in tow, deals with the aftermath. again, very much a product of its time, but i think that makes its state as a sort of fandom-time-capsule all the more appealing <3 break the cycle in half by rosewitchx holy shit this au is an absolute trip in the best way possible??? i've never consumed any of the madoka magica franchise, but you don't really even need to do that to understand the fic tbh after losing all of their loved ones to an unavoidable, inevitable disaster, connor and karl both become magical boys in order to go back in time and save those they lost or die trying

*and the universe said i love you by antfrost if i had a nickel for every c!connor centric meguca au there was on ao3, i would have exactly 2. which isn't a lot, but it's really funny that it's happened twice now! beloved mutual connor timedeo's take on the au is similar, yet still entirely unique on its own! after schlatt gets got during a mission, connor makes his wish to be a magical boy in order to save him. he does not know what he's getting into, to say the least </3

panacea by rosewitchx YESSSSSSS I GET TO TALK ABOUT THIS FIC again, technically it could be classified in the next section of this post, but i feel like the amount of canon divergence it features definitely earns it its place here! while the fic's actual author's notes give a better description of its context, i'll give y'all this quick synopsis- quackity figures out how to revive schlatt right after nov16th, but he comes back... a little different than he left the first time. thus, hijinks ensue.

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fics that aren't fully connor-centric, but still characterize him accurately enough that i'm reccing them

again, exactly what it says on the tin; these fics really don't focus too much on c!connor, so i won't go into much depth about them, but his cameos still pass with flying colors imo, so i'd absolutely reccomend em!

the definition of a dwarf planet by WreakingHavok a short and sweet pre-nov16th sweaterduo fic that recontextualizes a lot of their interactions with smplive as a focal point

when i’d make you oh-so afraid by rosewitchx charlie and connor, but the former especially, both grapple with schlatt’s death and how they feel about it.

I never, never want to go home by rosewitchx a look back at l’manberg, set a year since the 16th.

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aaaand there you have it, folks! a collection of the best of the best when it comes to c!connor! if y’all have other fics you really enjoy centering on mr eatspants, please feel free to send them to me in an ask! i’m sure there’s still just a little bit of gold hiding out in the swathes of badly mistagged fics that are flooding connor’s main tag atm -_-

but yes! i’ll probably update this within the next few months if any new, notable c!connor fics pop up, so keep an eye out!

[icantspeakspanish]

Bokuto, Kageyama, Kenma and Kuroo with an s/o who only wears oversized clothes

Ship: Bokuto x fem!Reader // Kageyama x fem!Reader // Kuroo x Fem!Reader // Kenma x Fem!Reader

*I didn’t use female pronounce, I just wrote it like the reader doesen’t actually wear stuff like boxer shorts?

warnings: mentions of mens underwear? IDFK WHAT TO TAG AS WARNING HELP

masterlist

A/n: I don’t even know if I should apologize for this one🚪🚶mf I was BORED

Kōtarō Bokuto

please hes so amazed

like he opens your clothes and finds hoodies that could fit himself

when Bokuto comes over to sleep at your place, he won’t even bring his own clothes anymore🥲

then y’all having a date and you’re just like „Bo, is that my shirt??“ BYE

definitely happy to wear your stuff

definitely brags to the team when it’s a team sleep over and he wears your hoodie/shirt/jogging pants/short WHATEVER

„this??? oh yeah, this PIECE OF CLOTHING is from my beloved S/O!!“

you’ll never see your stuff again so steal his shit to make things fair😐

Tobio Kageyama

you’ve unlocked confused Kageyama™️

why do you have boxer shorts in your closet???

do you have a brother?

but why are his boxer shorts then in your closet?

comes to the solution that‘d be the best to just ask you

„Oh, I‘m wearing them because they‘re comfy.“

aAaH

MAKES SENSE

the first time you borrow him an hoodie or shirt, he got his own dirty

will be flustered, but also will ask VERY SHYLY if you could lend him clothes again sometime

In conclusion: he likes it and it’s nicer when kags doesen’t have to hurry home because he ain’t got no clothes at your place

Tetsuro Kuroo

first thought: whose clothes is my s/o wearing????

Kenma explains it to him since I personally think that Kenma does know more stuff about this style?😭

💡💡😃‼️

really just going to steal your stuff without asking😐

will tell you that you look funny when you wear something that reaches over your knees because you look s m o l

doesen’t really matter how you go out tbh, he will tease you one way or another

Kozume Kenma

mf runs around like that, I‘m not gonna fight about this

actually has some pieces that you have too oh wow couple goals

y’all just recommend shops lmao😭✋🏻

„I got this from ____. u should check out their stuff“

tbh you got some of his clothes, he got sum of yours, only the two of you manage to know which one belongs to who

one time you and him showed up to Kuroo‘s birthday like you‘d normally dress and let me tell u he was DONE bc he asked y’all to dress formally

STILL DRAGGED BOTH OF YOU INTO THE RESTAURANT💀

[faith--in-the-future]

honestly I kinda agree with you, I wrote that in some tags the other day that I felt like it was getting a bit ignored! I do think the hours play a Part in it bc for many its at like 5am and for Europe its during work hours but yea! it could also be that we're at the end of 6 months of touring and like more than 60 shows so it's understandable that maybe the novelty has run off a little bit! also h is on tour and I think that's taking up a lot of attention from Those Fans while for the first months of louis' tour he wasn't doing anything. and also maybe the fact that we went to see him play arenas in latam and Asia and now he's back to small venues is making people less amazed and enthusiastic?? idk. also yeah these dumbass interviews aren't helping but that's not anybodys fault besides his team (it's honestly so stupid like how is an interview where u don't even play walls and then make him look bored and uncomfortable gonna sell the leftover tickets.... )

anyways, I think it's probably a multitude of factors but nothing really having to do with Australians as people! I'm sure if u had been the first leg then there would have been the same enthusiasm ppl had for the us ! also louis IS excited! the only times he smiled in those interviews is when he talked about you guys !! and he's been looking very happy at the shows ! he loves this leg just as much as the rest imo, he just loves singing and feeling our love regardless of the other shit ! I hope you know that ! and also I hope you get to enjoy his amazing shows regardless of what everyone else thinks ! seeing him live is so wonderful and you shouldn't let other stuff ruin it for u !

[marciliedonato]

i used to adore panic from my early to late teens and still listen to the first four pretty often but i just can't for the life of me get into pftw & the three singles. idk if it's cause i don't like urine as a person or if his songwriting is genuinely just awful imo but i can't stop hating on it <3 also i keep seeing people say the new one has pretty odd vibes?? like po was actually good & imaginative idk what they're on about. or maybe i'm just a bitter old person now lmao

tbf i only got into panic right when 'they' were starting the too weird era and even when i was most into them i wasn't *that* familiar with the band's history/drama but no i think ur right lol i don't think he's ever rly been a great songwriter what he's had, however, is a lot of luck and talented ppl in his corner he could hide behind (bc the frontman is always gonna be the center of attention regardless of their involvement in the process)

ryan was always the one responsible for the theatrical/creative aspects and the lyrics in the beggining and you could tell bc there was a shift when he left but it was still pretty good bc of jon's (i think? correct me if i'm wrong) and pete’s involvement in vices. then around that time i think dallon joined, and we know he's a pretty good songwriter and artist in general, and someone else said it best in the tag that too weird was basically repuposed brobecks he didn't release and he carried most of that album on his back ...beebo piss basically just showed up and sang. i quite liked that one but i can't listen to it now bc remembering how shit beebo piss is and my hatred for him vs how much i love certain songs makes trying to listen feel like i'm a demon trying to enter a church lmao 💀

then doab you can tell he was more involved bc it was MIIIIIILES from what the 'band' used to be and a lot more focused on like, lyrics-wise living large and the pursuit of fame, money and drugs with a bunch of high notes so you'd think it was amazing (and my 15/16 y.o ass thought like half that album was THE SHIT for how it sounded) less creative both in lyrics and imagery and more in line with what was popping off at the time instead of going against the current

but like literally with pftw (which even when i was listening to him still i thought was just the cringiest and most try-hard name) is when it really starts to show he's literally just bad lyrics and high notes in a trenchcoat bc dallon wasn't there anymore and there was no one to hide behind so he had to do all that shit himself. i s2g the only time i listened to that album in full, a bunch of songs fused together in my subconscious bc they all sounded SO SIMILAR i knew they were different but they were just....eh i don't remember being super blown away by any of it and it was by far my least favorite bc it was just. SO pop. i simply couldn’t even bring myself to listen to that silver lining song bc the lyrics and the singing were ATROCIOUS like.....oh my god. yeah...

i haven't listened to any of the singles from this album except for a clip of the newer one to see how bad it was and....it wasn't just bad...it was *REALLY* bad. there's this massive post that compares his newer stuff to rejected imagine dragons and i think that's kinda generous bc imagine dragons might not be 'amazing' but at least they're consistent and the vocals/production is alright. even before for mr piss if the lyrics weren't great he could hide behind good vocals, decent production or talented band members but now even his voice, the star of the show, now sounds so strained from all the drinking and smoking that he can't pull those same notes he used to as his 'one trick' so it's straight up unsalvagable because there's nothing going for it like 'oh the song isn't great but the lyrics are good' none of that. it's just ALL bad now.

i've seen ppl say 'oh but he wrote some songs in po and those were good it's bc he has a lot of cowriters' but it's like. if he was actually good on his own he wouldn't need them and working with them wouldn't make the music worse. i think he's gotten way too comfortable over the years with other ppl doing the work for him and letting fame get to his head and he's no longer capable of making anything good bc he's not that person he used to be (and even then idk if he was v good as a person...)*edit: he's also surrounded by yes men and enablers (Idk if that creepazoid Zack is still around...)*he's been beating a dead horse for years after everyone that made it what it was (good, unique,etc.) left and thinking he was too big to fail. now no one's interested in his music anymore bc not only is he shit, his music is shit too. u kinda almost have to wonder how he managed to push everyone away. he should have taken the L and let the band name go years ago but he knows he's nothing without it and anything he can do on his own will never reach that level so he's living in a shadow thriving of the nostalgia of times long gone but it's just starting to not cut it anymore and people are starting to really see it, i think.

also i absolutely from the bits i have unfortunately seen, don't think it resembles po in any sort of way: it's not folksy, it's not imaginative it's just more sterilized top 40 friendly pop that sounds like 50 other artists and you could tell me anyone else made and i'd be none the wiser. there's no heart it in but it's sure to do well.....delusion is one hell of a drug ig

sorry this was so long i get mad talking abt his stupid ass i could dunk on him for dayyyyys

[gringolet]

INTRO TO ARTHURIANA MASTERPOST

under the cut for absurd length

HOW TO GET STARTED WITH ARTHURIANA

The Arthuriana fandom is very broad and there's no one piece of media, which can be confusing for people just getting into it! There’s no right way to engage with arthuriana, and no minimum level of knowledge or reading you need to attain to qualify. 

The basis of the Arthurian Legend is a body of hundreds of texts written across the medieval and early Renaissance period in dozens of languages and cultural traditions. Which can seem pretty overwhelming, but there are a lot of modern vernacular translations-- you absolutely don’t have to learn old French or anything. I’ll go more in depth on where to get started with texts further down.

You also don’t have to read texts at all. As I said, there is no minimum basis-- if you prefer to engage with modern adaptations, or want to engage with medieval arthuriana outside of reading texts, that's also cool! 

In terms of modern adaptations there is a wealth of choices, which I am very much not an expert in lol, so I’m afraid I can’t give much in the way of reccs. Books I have heard good things about are, Exiled from Camelot, Idylls of the Queen, The Buried Giant, the Squire's Tale series, and Gawain by Gwen Rowley (warning that this one is apparently erotica? Good for him). I trust @princesslibs  for modern book reccomendations. and if you speak French Kaamelott is purportedly a very good tv show. Frankly no modern adaptation will ever be better than Spamalot to me, but that's just my personal take. 

If you are curious about engaging with texts but (understandably) don’t want to read a ton of dense medieval literature, one really cool resource is Norris J Lacy's New Arthurian Encyclopedia, which you can pick up at most used bookstores for under ten bucks. It’s a very thorough easy to look through reference of characters stories and texts. I know a lot of people like the Nightbringer wiki, though I personally am wary of it because it basically never cites sources. It’s a good quick reference though and a lot of people like it, I’d just take it with a grain of salt. Sparknotes also has a lot of summaries of the major texts like Le Morte D’Arthur and the romances of Chrétien De Troyes. You are not a fake fan for doing this I promise. And of course you’re always welcome to send me an ask <3 

Finally, getting started with texts. Quick glossary of terms:

--Verse Romance

    A verse (poem) story which can vary a great deal in length. These deal with the adventures of individual knights, usually Gawain, and tend to have a great deal of magical elements and the stereotypical monster slaying, questing, damosel rescuing knight adventures.

--Prose Novel or Romance

    A non poetic narrative, more like a modern novel, more likely to deal with the fall of Arthur, sword in the stone, Mordred, fall of Camelot sort of affair. They are usually quite long. Most famous of these are Le Morte D’Arthur and the French Vulgate, but there are a slew of late medieval Prose novels floating around. Eluding Rey.

--Pseudohistory

    I’m gonna b real these are boring I think. These are, as the name suggests, written as accurate depictions of history.  They very much are not, but they claim to be. Most famous of these is Jeffrey of Monmouth, Mr Jeff Mouth himself, and his History of the Kings of Britain, which I haven’t read because it bores me. You can if you want. It’s in Latin. Whatever. These tend to be some of the earliest texts, and include the “lives of saints” stories. Life of Gildas is the only funny one.

--Ballads

    These are only arguably texts, as most of them were written after the time of the “canon” being composed. But I like them. These are songs telling stories, recorded by people like Francis Child and Thomas Percy. They are very short and fun and include stories like The Boy and the Mantle, Kempion, and King Arthur and the King of Cornwall.

--Lai

    A specific type of French verse poem, usually quite short. The most famous collection of lais are those of Marie le France, including things like Bisclavret and Lanval. 

--Traditions

    Since Arthuriana was written all over, there are different literary traditions across time and space. The French tradition is one of the most famous, including works like the vulgate, Chretien and a lot of verse romances. The English tradition is one of the most influential on modern adaptations, including the Morte D’Arthur and Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. There are also Welsh, German, Dutch, Hebrew, Italian, Spanish, Portuguese, Tagalog, Greek, Belarussian, Scottish, Irish, Breton, and probably even more. There’s a lot. It’s very cool and sexy.

A note that there is also a big tradition of Victorian revival Arthuriana. I wrote a starter guide to that here, it’s all very fun and like, aesthetic. 

Alright, now, which texts do you start with?

If you’re a little intimidated by long texts or medieval lit, starting with short verse romances in modern translation is a great place to start. These include Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, which is very good and gay and well known, Lancelot and the Hart With The White Foot, which is very good and gay and underappreciated, or Lanval, which is homophobic but funny. 

If you want to start with what is considered the oldest King Arthur Story, Culwch and Olwen is short and fun!

If you want to read about the grail quest, you can start where it started with Story of the Grail or Percival, then the four continuations, Essenbachs Parzival, the vulgate version of the Grail quest which you can buy paperback for like 5 bucks (I can also scan my copy for you just shoot me an ask <3)

If you want to read about the fall of camelot, I have the Vulgate death of Arthur section scanned here. There’s also the Alliterative and Stanzaic mortes, which are in middle English. I have scanned Simon Armitage's Alliterative Morte translation here. I’m working on my own translation of the Stanzaic but it’s not done lol. If you want the first third or so DM me lol. King Artus is very short and readable and it’s a Jewish text which is really cool.

If you want to read about Lancelot, Chrétien de Troyes Lancelot is his first text. He also has a whole long vulgate section, the first part is scanned here by val <3, and there's Lanzelet,  Sebile is in it so it’s probably very good. He’s also basically the main character of Le Morte D’Arthur which I might as well talk about here uhm. It’s long and fun in places and boring in others but it does have like the version most modern adaptations take from and tells the whole story of Arthur and Camelot from beginning to end. The Keith Baines version scanned by val is the most readable but it is an abridgement I believe. people who like le morte usually read this version so its probably the best choice lol

If you want to read about Gawain, good news! He’s in basically everything. Even texts that aren’t supposed to be about Gawain are doomed to become The Gawain Show Featuring The Protagonist Of This Text As A Sidekick. Which is so funny of him. The Roman Van Walewein is very funny and long and Gawain™. I also recommend, L’atre Perilous, Diu Krone, Sir Gawain and the Turk, and I could go on but for brevity's sake let's start there. 

If you want to read about Tristan, go shoot an ask to Valentine @lanzelet on tumblr because Tristan scares me. 

Thank you to rey @gawain-in-green for helping me find links and put this together! They are also a super great resource for stuff and very cool and nice <3 They have a tag on their blog for full text resources so deffo look at that if you want more scans and links, and an info tag and tons of cool shit that is way better organized than my blog lol

Okay finishing this off, if you want content warnings for any texts, feel free to shoot an ask! I know medieval lit can be A Lot and there aren’t a lot of good warning systems, so if I’ve read it or know someone who has I can give you warnings if you want to read something but are understandably wary . <3

In terms of tagging, Arthuriana and Arthurian Legend are the main ones on tumblr. Arthurian Mythology is also used but tbh shouldn’t be. On Ao3, we’re trying to get our own Arthurian Literature tag but <3 its a whole thing. Anyway the tag is Arthurian Mythology, but I’ll b real, it’s kind of flooded with stuff that doesn’t really belong there, because even though it’s a fandom tag other people unknowingly tag stuff as Arthurian Mythology when it’s like, a knight au. Which is not their fault bc it’s confusing but, ah, alas. ANyhow, feel free to drop in my inbox anytime with questions, suggestions, reccs, etc!

Okay godspeed!! Have fun reading, watching, browsing, etc! 

[ironmandeficiency]

pedro boys + spending habits

word count: fuck if i know, wrote it thru the app

characters: din, marcus m, dave, pero, marcus p, oberyn, max, frankie, whiskey, maxwell, javier, ezra

a/n: idk what caused this to happen but it works i guess. hope they make sense

✨support my ko-fi✨

trust him with your money, your drink, your social security number, everything:

din. this man is barely scraping by on his own when you first meet him. when he adds the kid to the mix, he gets even more frugal than he already is with an old as sin ship that many people are surprised to see fly. he will have a policy of “you earn it, you choose what to do with it” and since he goes after most of (if not all) the bounties to keep you all alive, he has the final say in how most of the credits are spent. he does want you to have nice things though, so he makes sure to configure the budget to where you don’t have to pour your credits into the group’s survival money very often. it’s the least he can do. he’s very big on taking care of his people and will show that in small ways.

marcus m. he’s a single dad for a significant amount of time, he has no choice but to be responsible with his money. he has to take care of missy, keep them both fed and housed and healthy, and that’s not even touching on how expensive all of high school graduation and college will be once she gets there. he teaches missy very early in life how important money is bc he doesn’t want her to ever know how it feels to not have enough. he makes a considerable amount of money w the heroics tho so he can afford to responsibly splurge on you both, but not constantly. is very cautious abt the splurging becoming a habit

dave. yeah he may be a murderer, but he’s scary great at managing his money (to continue being able to murder). he’s got his ex wife’s alimony (that still pisses him off but that’s another story) and two girls he takes care of, there’s no other choice for him either. there’s never a worry about dave having a midlife crisis and spending money on some stupid dad thing (like a motorcycle or assless chaps or a country club membership) because he murders to keep his mind off that sort of stuff. files his taxes diligently every year the day tax season starts and will pass this wisdom to the girls.

pero. he’s very good at judging if you need something or not. if it can’t feed you, keep you healthy, kill someone, or protect you, you don’t need to buy it. definitely not a man who indulges in trinkets and frivolous things that do nothing but weigh down his horse and his person. will encourage this way of thinking with whoever travels with him to whatever extent he can, but won’t be a dick about it if you have something sentimental on your person. if it’s a necessity, he will splurge on a bed and bath at an inn but not much else for a while. cheap because he has to be

marcus p. i don’t think i have to explain this one so i won’t. no i’m not being lazy who said that?

maybe you’ll be fine if he’s in charge. maybe:

oberyn. being a prince (and himself), there are different ways this could go. he spends his money frivolously at brothels & on his daughters + other loved ones (as well as other luxuries) and doesn’t really seem to be the type to keep tabs on it all as he goes. but... he’s a prince in a prosperous kingdom and so there isn’t really a worry for money. he’s known as the red viper for many reasons, including his clever nature and the ease with which he can get what he wants thru whatever means necessary. if you want for something that he can’t buy, you know he will find a way to get it for you (which can be a problem sometimes).

max. he’s good with money in the sense of perpetuating capitalism — that’s the red flag here. hell, he’s gonna be investing into bitcoin and who knows what stock market bs & bc it’s max, of course you trust him. max can’t control the stock market tho, so sometimes things are a little iffy. it always evens itself out though, and you make sure in the future that he invests his money instead of your joint money. he’s still gonna share anyways, it just helps you have a little more peace of mind.

frankie. he just wants to take care of you, okay? you can’t fault him for that 🥺 he maneuvers his budget around to make sure he can do all these nice things for you while leaving his own needs unchecked, which isn’t okay. he just wants to provide for the ppl he loves the best he can, but the problem begins when he starts to think he isn’t doing enough. his insecurity & lack of self-worth (fueled by his guilt for “not being everything you deserve”) is what makes him agree to the Trip™️ in the first place. once he comes back & sees you frantic, only wanting him home and not giving a flying fuck about the money, does he realize that you’re devoted to him and not what he can do for you.

whiskey. working for statesman made him forget what things really cost bc he suddenly never had to worry again about not having enough money. being with someone that isn’t practically made of money will snap him back into reality. he looks at his bank statements and his balance occasionally, but our big spender cowboy hasn’t really counted money as something he worries about for a while. when he constantly showers you in expensive gifts (only the best for his baby, that’s his motto) and you tell him that he has to not do that bc he’ll go broke, he plays it off because he doesn’t remember having to worry. separate bank accounts are only because you want to make sure your money is being spent smartly (even though jack has offered constantly to pay for literally anything you need).

don’t give him anything you want to see again:

maxwell. as much as i love this dork, he’s absolute shit with money. when his business is falling apart (bc he made the stupid ass decision to buy the oil rigs no one wanted bc they weren’t producing oil), he throws it all into saving face and trying to make investors buy into something that isn’t there. what a smart business man would’ve done was liquidate his assets and possibly try to get into a business that will yield at least some profit. he does learn his lesson tho and eventually can be trusted with money, but even he is hesitant to do anything with the household finances. he’s a dreamer, and dreams and money are the same as oil and water.

javier. i know you’re possibly surprised but hear me out. he’ll go all in to get info, whether he’s spending american taxpayer money or his own money or anyone else’s, if it’s valuable info that can be bought, it’s gonna be bought even if he goes without groceries for the next two weeks. before being with you, it was booze and prostitutes and cigarettes that ate away at his checks outside of buying information. the only thing that really changed once you got together was the prostitutes and slightly less cigarettes and booze. however, when he goes back to laredo permanently, he’s perfectly capable of keeping his shit in line. he’ll balance every checkbook in sight and run a tight af ship.

ezra. this man is a scavenger by necessity, a con man by choice. he has a silver tongue and a roguish charm and pretty questionable morals; he’s not gonna have any issue with getting his hands dirty. he’s probably gonna use your joint money to try and pull a fast one on some unsuspecting stranger (“it’ll double our money,” he says, “it’ll be fine,” he says), but then said stranger will end up turning the tables and leave you both absolutely broke. yeah he will feel guilty, no doubt. the only problem is that he won’t take it as a “hey don’t do it again” lesson, it’ll be a “this is how i can improve for next time.” eventually you have to put your foot down and take control of the money and when he realizes that you’re improving your lives much better than he is, he will thank you for it.

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