#shit i think and type out at 4:06 am
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don’t text and swing! // miles morales x reader
miles loves texting and he loves you, what could go wrong?
cute lil miles texting headcanons
sum short n simple
readers gender not rlly specified
ooc miles?? idfk how he would text so i tried my best 😭
requests r open!!
miles says mentirosa that jus means liar
⊱ ────── {⋅. ✯ .⋅} ────── ⊰
🕷️ You’re never guaranteed a full on conversation with Miles because most the time he leaves you on open. He doesn’t do it on purpose, really. He just so happens to be a very busy man so trying to talk to him when he isn’t saving New York is pretty difficult.
9:55 pm [ miles <3 ]: Hey did u still one of my jackets
9:55 pm [ miles <3 ]: *steal idk how i got still
9:55 pm [ miles <3 ]: Anyways I cant find it anywhere and ik u have something to with it
10:00 pm [ miles <3 ]: I know ur not ignoring me rn…
10:01 pm [ you ]: oh wow of course im the first person you blame
10:01 pm [ you ]: also i dont have it ☝️
10:02 pm [ miles <3 ]: Who else would take my jackets??
10:02 pm [ miles <3 ]: This also isn’t the first time my jackets OR hoodies have gone missing
10:02 pm [ miles <3 ]: And somehow they always end up in your room
10:03 pm [ miles <3 ]: Suspicious right…🤨
10:06 pm [ you ]: oh shit by some magical force
10:06 pm [ you ]: your jacket managed to teleport to my bed!!
10:07 pm [ you ]: and somehow…IT FLEW ON ME?? AND NOW IM WEARING IT?
10:07 pm [ you ]: this is actually crazy…
10:15 pm [ you ]: wait miles where did you go
10:25 pm [ you ]: are you mad?
10:30 pm [ you ]: no way ur mad
10:40 pm [ you ]: MILES
10:42 pm [ you ]: HELLO
10:43 pm [ you ]: MILESSSS
10:56 pm [ you ]: oh wait mb you’re probably busy saving somebody
10:56 pm [ you ]: got a lil crazy there
10:57 pm [ you ]: ignore all that
1:00 am [ miles <3 ]: I KNEW IT
1:00 am [ miles <3 ]: It’s okay i like you a little deranged 😩
1:03 am [ you ]: why are you texting me at one in the morning
1:04 am [ miles <3 ]: Why are you replying?
1:05 am [ you ]: have you been fighting since 10?
1:12 am [ miles <3 ]: I’ve been studying! 🤓
1:12 am [ you ]: LIAR i know what you are…
🕷️ You text him while he’s in the middle of fighting? You bet he’s going to respond. While giving himself a reasonable distance away from the villian, he holds out his pointer finger and says; “Hold on, let me respond to them real quick…” While they’re throwing punches at Miles, he’s dodging all of them while texting you back. Though, he’s text aren’t legible. At least he thinks they are! All Miles wants to do is talk to you, even if you don’t understand half the things he’s typing. Texting him while he’s swinging has the same effect. He has dropped his phone multiple times and he’s always caught it before it could land on the street, though when his webs come in contact with his screen it registers as someone typing so without even knowing he’s spamming you a whole bunch of jumbled letters.
3:45 pm [ you ]: hey miles can i come over for dinner
3:45 pm [ you ]: im craving ur moms food 😍
3:46 pm [ miles <3 ]: oys of cours
3:48 pm [ you ]: did u just have a stroke
3:53 pm [ miles <3 ]: noi busy
3:53 pm [ you ]: if you’re busy why r u texting me 😭
3:53 pm [ you ]: go back to fighting or wtv ur doing
3:56 pm [ miles <3 ]: i wMt to talk toyj
3:58 pm [ you ]: u can talk to me later miles
3:58 pm [ you ]: im not going away
4:00 pm [ miles <3 ]: hatr
5:46 pm [ miles <3 ]: HEYYY
5:46 pm [ you ]: HII are you not busy anymore
5:47 pm [ miles <3 ]: Yeah
5:48 pm [ miles <3 ]: How’s your day been?
5:49 pm [ you ]: it’s been ehhhhh
5:49 pm [ you ]: i’ve been missing you ���
5:51 pm [ miles <3 ]: ooajbdko092828900
5:51 pm [ miles <3 ]: 08:$jjaoppapp
5:52 pm [ miles <3 ]: !!!!!
5:54 pm [ you ]: what
6:00 pm [ miles <3 ]: I DROPPED MY PHONE
6:01 pm [ miles <3 ]: ANYWAYS back to what you were saying
6:02 pm [ miles <3]: I’ve been missing you too
6:04 pm [ you ]: youre no better than those people who text and drive 😐
6:05 pm [ you ]: don’t text and swing miles
🕷️ He loves sending you videos of him showing off in his suit. He did a cool trick midair? He’s going to prop up his phone somewhere and start recording, once he perfects the move and edits out any unneeded footage and he sends them to you. He’s all giddy when he does, in his head he’s like, “Will that impress them?” “Do they think that’s cool?” “They’re going to love this!”
11:00 am [ miles <3 ]: (1 attachment video)
11:00 am [ miles <3 ]: What do you think??
11:00 am [ miles <3 ]: Pretty cool right
11:03 am [ you ]: (1 attachment photo)
11:04 am [ you ]: LOOK AT THE FACE YOU MADE WHWN YOU JUMPEDD AHHHHH 💀
11:04 am [ you ]: this is going to be my new lock screen
11:05 am [ miles <3 ]: 😐
11:06 am [ miles <3 ]: Are you going to ignore the cool spin i did?
11:07 am [ you ]: oh sorey
11:08 am [ you ]: THAT WAS A REALLY SICK SPIN
11:09 am [ miles <3 ]: Mentirosa 😒
🕷️ Miles also sends you photos. It ranges from him swinging in midair or him relaxing on top of a building with his lunch in hand. He loves to keep you updated on his life. You’re the only one in this universe that knows his secret, so he texts or shows you everything he comes across as SpiderMan.
3:00 pm [ miles <3 ]: (1 attachment photo)
3:00 pm [ miles <3 ]: Look how pretty the view is from up here
3:00 pm [ you ]: oooh that’s actually so pretty
3:01 pm [ you ]: who knew new york could actually look nice for once?
3:02 pm [ miles <3 ]: I’m going to take you here one day for lunch
6:54 pm [ miles <3 ]: (1 attachment photo)
6:54 pm [ miles <3 ]: You should put this as your lock screen
6:55 pm [ you ]: it’s just you doing the peace sign while swinging
6:55 pm [ miles <3 ]: You said that like it’s a bad thing
6:55 pm [ miles <3 ]: It’s a nice photo :(
6:58 pm [ you ]: look i set it as my lock screen
6:58 pm [ you ]: (1 screenshot)
6:59 pm [ you ]: everyones gonna see that i know spiderman
6:59 pm [ miles <3 ]: YES GOOD
🕷️ He texts you nonsense sometimes. You could be chilling, watching something to pass the time and he will text you something so utterly stupid you would have to take a moment to process it.
10:00 am [ miles <3]: (1 attachment photo)
10:00 am [ you ]: u just sent an empty plate of food?
10:00 am [ miles <3 ]: Yeah cuz I ate 😜
10:01 am [ miles <3 ]: Like literally
10:03 am [ you ]: enough.
fanks to everyone who sent in requests IM WIRITN G THEM RN ✍️
#into the spider verse#miles morales x reader#miles morales#across the spiderverse#miles morales head cannons#miles morales fanfic#miles morales fic#miles morales hc#miles morales text fic#spiderman across the spiderverse#across the spiderverse x reader
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12 Days of Taimizu | “Livesmut”
Day 9: Acts of Service
Tomorrow I shall do a silly smutty thing! Come hang out on the Taimizu Nation discord with me!
wtf is a “livesmut”? A type of event started on discord by, I believe, @fuukonomiko. It’s like a live-write, or an artist’s livestream, but it’s for smut 🤗 a room full of people being goofy and yelling about seggsy things while someone writes a smutty ficlet in real-time.
when tf is this happening? 06/09, taxi-ing at 4, wheels up at 5:30. Looks like one place I said 5:30 PST, and another place I said 4:00 PST 🥴💀 so I’ll post tags etc. at 4 and start posting the pre-written intro shit after that. I tend to take a lot longer to start getting into the meat of it (pun not intended lmfao) than I usually think I will, so I’m sure I won’t be cranking until 5:30 anyway, and it will go for several hours (I have a tendency to go too long and have to split the event over two days, but I am determined not to do that this time 🤣😅)
how am I supposed to join? Click on the invite link above and make sure to choose roles for 18+ content (smut avenue resident and taigooner, which will be listed in the “role select” section of the server)
but I don’t wanna fuck with discord, that’s annoying! The finished fic will be posted the following day on ao3, and I will link it back to this post, so you can read it after the live is done if you don’t want to join taimizu nation :)
#can’t believe I fucked up the times but I can you know? because I’m me lmfao three cats in a trench coat#12daysoftaimizu#taimizu#blue eye samurai fanfiction#taimizu week 2024#uchi-sute#shindo au#(and yes I am doing it on day 8 actually I didn’t want to write on monday lol)
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imma be real with both tech (coding, game design, robotics, y'know the usual basic stuff) and gaming
theyre both such cool and fun things and honestly great for u - learning logic systems and solving issues and effective communication and teamwork n stuff
but the community surrounding both of those things is so disgusting part of me doesnt want to touch it with a ten foot pole bc like
yeah id love to be a tech person! i enjoy coding and robotics greatly. but being around Tech Guys™? especially game designers? Nothing sounds less appealing then that. And yeah i love gaming! i got a whole setup with a nice ASUS ROG thatll run the highest graphics setting on just about any game with good frames. Being around the other people who are super into gaming and would have that kinda stuff? Terrible. Disgusting. 0/10. We all know -what not the average, but the average you'll encounter- type of gamer is.
Bc even if there's plenty of, say, female gamers, or minorities with a passion for technology, you're so much more likely to see people who try to push others away- The livesinhisparentsbasement guy in a voice chat that makes anybody with a feminine sounding voice want to shut up forever, the smarmy dudes who are oh-so-proud that they're going into a STEM field and have never said a word that wasnt condescending, the people who think because they're online and anonymous, it gives them the right to be an asshole to other people.
And i guess its partially because of the type of people we associate with those sorts of things, because the shitty people who are in those fields are expected to be, and it becomes such a hostile enviroment for anybody unlike them trying to join, but i cant help but wonder
How many people are driven away from their passions because of the people who manage to make it in that field?
#words#shit i think and type out at 4:06 am#yknow its like... I Really Like Those Things and i do get its the most likely to land me a job but at the same time#will it get somebody like ME hired?#and if i just do it as a hobby you know i'd be mocked bc id prolly do some shit with art otherwise and ooOOooOOOh clearly i cant be an#~intellectual~ and shit like Ugh
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the bodyguard
— Kirishima gets assigned to be the bodyguard to one of the worlds greatest idols: you. —
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pairing: bodyguard!kirishima eijirou x idol!reader
warnings: nsfw, 18+, brat taming, authority kink, spanking, blowjob, slapping, choking, brat taming, brat!reader, modern!au, no quirks, bodyguard!kirishima, idol!reader, PTSD portrayal, anxiety, war flashbacks, implied minor character death, drugging, alcohol consumption, size difference: kirishima is 2 feet taller than you, regardless of the reader’s original height. If you’re 6 ft congrats he’s 8 ft.
word count: 20,500
a/n: this is for the bnharem collab.... im so sorry, it’s 4:30 am and I have a plane to catch in 2 hours to get back to school. thank you jo for proofreading this for me because lol I am a mess. if the paragraph spacing did not work as I wish it does, please let me know so I can go in and edit in visible paragraph spacers!
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“I’ll be okay.”
The smell of dirt, sweat, and blood clung to the air.
The sun was setting, its blood-red shine illuminating against the destroyed earth, making the already bloodied soil even bloodier.
There was no telling if the land was quiet, if the reason why the world's silence was because the world just for this moment had gone silent, or if the earlier explosions were still ringing in his ears.
Kirishima sat wounded, his back pressed to the wall, his eyes wide, breathing erratic. He can’t move, can’t bother picking up the gun that lays abandoned by his knee as warm, sticky liquid spills onto his clothed knees and continues to soak the fabric of his jeans.
What had he done?
What in the fucking world had he done?!
BOOM!
Kirishima stills, his eyes stilling on the floor and looking at the clear moisture. He doesn’t need to touch his face to know it’s a combination of both sweat and tears.
His ears sing with white noise, the erratic beat of his heart, and his pained breathing.
“I’ll be okay,” the ghost taunts his mind.
But I’m not okay, Kirishima tries to speak, but knows with how his tongue is sitting like a thick dried sponge in his mouth, he won’t be able to speak. Pushing off the cold floor, flops onto his back, his arm flinging over his closed, shaken eyes until the ringing in his ear disappears into his alarm clock.
05:30.
Kirishima lays there for a bit more, his chest still heaving heavily with the weight of lead.
Inhale.
Hold.
Exhale.
Better?
No, not yet.
Kirishima runs through breathing exercises, his chest never stopping in it’s hiccuped, broken pants as his memories continue to haunt his mind. If only he was smarter, more observant, better.
“Time to get up, time to get up, time to get up,” his phone screams with his second alarm set at 06:45. The sound does what it’s intended, jolting Kirishima out of his own head. His labored breathing shallowing just enough for his lungs to finally grasp ahold of its required function.
Today was an important day for him; he needed to be on his tiptop game, according to what Toshinori said yesterday.
I’m okay, he convinced himself as he does every morning after having this dream. Kirishima flings his arm off his eyes, the morning purple sun shining softly through his blinds. I’m okay.
Date: 4/2 Time: 08:00 Location: UA Services
“And in other news, music industries princess Y/n has been attacked by yet another round of masked perpetrators. Fortunately for the music idol, she was left unhurt but was clearly rattled. This is but the fourth attack on Y/n since three weeks ago. It’s leaving many of us fans, spectators, and civilians wondering just what is being done to ensure her safety? Y/n is reported to not have a single bodyguard to her name, wanting to quote-on-quote ‘experience her fans to the fullest’, but with these recent attacks, we can’t help but hope something is done. At least until something is done about these attackers—”
Kirishima’s eyes tore away from the screen, his lips pressed into a deep frown as he took in the story. There was deep worry about it, not only because he hated the idea of people getting hurt, but because he was a big fan of yours.
Your debut album had come out during his training camp for the military. Not only was it an instant billboard smasher breaking every standing record, but his commanding officers were obsessed with the album and played it continuously until they graduated. Most of Kirishima’s comrades came to dislike your music solely because they remember throwing up, bleeding, and suffering while you sang about love and whatnot, but Kirishima? Kirishima fell in love.
It was a bright spot in his life, and he was grateful for your music, even if it has been ten years and six albums since the training camp.
“Yo, Kiri!” a voice cheered out happily as a hand clasped onto his shoulder from behind. Kirishima held the flinch that threatened to rip through his bones. Kirishima turned to find Kaminari grinning up at him, a cup of steaming tea in one hand as he grinned brightly at his coworker. “I heard you’re finally getting a good case today!”
Kirishima found himself relaxing at the sight of his rather spontaneous friend, a warm smile easing onto his face as he raised his fist for a greeting fist bump.
“We’ll see, I know Toshi’ said it was going to be important, but he also said escorting the paranoid old lady was important,” Kirishima sighed, his smile softening a bit.
Kaminari laughed, his arm slinging around Kirishima’s shoulders as he remembered that.
The little old lady was sure that the government was out to kill her and wanted protection until her son returned from his vacation. Needless to say, Kirishima had thoroughly enjoyed his time with her, even if she was a bit scary. It was a low-risk job, and he only was paranoid by her cane, which she used to thwack his back many times as she talked about how plums extended your life.
“God, I remember subbing in for you for one hour because of your family emergency, and she was so scary! She still haunts my nightmares!” Kaminari shudders, placing the cup of his tea to his lip and taking a long, slow drink. His eyes shift over to the TV, which is still broadcasting the story of your attack. “What a bunch of bastards,” he growls, eyebrows scrunching as the news reporter ends the segment. “Thinking they can go after such a beautiful and talented idol… I’ll kill them.”
Kirishima was more than well aware of Kaminari’s plentiful budding romances. The blond man fell in love with just about any smiling woman who happened to waltz in front of him. Still, unlike most times, he found himself agreeing with him.
“It sounds really serious. I hope that she really considers some type of security team,” Kirishima inputs too, taking the teacup in his fingers with a nod of thanks. “There’re too many weirdos in Japan and in the world, I wouldn’t want to hear the news the day something bad happens.”
Kaminari hums, his face nearing Kirishima’s as he takes a small sip of the apparently black tea. His eyes scrunch, and Kirishima smiles awkwardly as the blond studies him intently.
“W-Wha—”
“You like Y/n!” Kaminari exclaims (accuses, maybe?), his arm leaving Kirishima’s shoulders as he points a finger accusingly at him. “I thought I was the only one in this department who did!”
“Don’t be an idiot, Denki,” the familiar voice of Sero responds for Kirishima. “Everyone in the world is in love with Y/n; she was voted the favorite artist of the year in our company. Everyone but Bakugou voted for her if I remember correctly.”
Kirishima looks over at his black-haired friend who is rummaging through his locker, his mouth curved into an easy, teasing smile as he looks between the bashful Kaminari and sneering Bakugou, who also seemed to just walk in.
“Her shit is basic and overrated,” Bakugou defended himself. “Nothing special and bad for your brain and ears.”
“Your go-to music playlist is fifty percent death metal and alt. rock. I don’t think you have ground to say that it’s bad for your brain and ears,” Midoriya’s snicker sounded from behind Kirishima, and he looked around to see the freckled man grinning at the snarling ash blond.
“And how does your stalker ass know that, shitnerd?!”
“‘Cause I’m a stalker, duh.”
“Oh, Bakugou-kun, Midoriya-kun! You’re both here! Todoroki-kun is looking for you!”
“I’m just saying that Y/n’s dates to all the award shows and premieres have been blond. She’s into blonds, so she would totally be into me!”
“Deku, if you don’t shut up, I’m going to kill you myself.”
“You wouldn’t even be able to protect Y/n, bro. The only thing you performed well on in the application process was the tasing part. You can’t even tase people repetitively! She’d be dead in a second.”
“Can you believe my client dropped me because I couldn’t cook a five-star meal correctly? Hello, I can make 7-11 into a five-star course; it’s not my fault they’re not refined.”
“Kirishima-kun, are you okay?”
“I deadass got into a dance competition on the way to work. That’s why I’m late, why would I lie? Of course, I had to compete; my reputation was on the line!”
“Kirishima-kun?”
“Yo, he’s not looking too hot?”
“Kirishima?!”
“Can you hear us?!”
Silence.
Kirishima found himself opening his eyes — when had he closed them? For a moment, the air turned coppery, his body feeling weak, and he thought he felt something heavy on his lap. But that wasn’t right; he was standing up, he wasn’t sitting down. Most importantly, he was in Tokyo, Japan. He was alright. He was safe.
The sweat that clung to the back of his neck was cold, clammy, and intrusive. His chest felt tight again, his hands shaking so harshly the tea's warm, dark liquid was sloshing onto the floor.
There were seven pairs of eyes on him, each a different color, each swimming with concern and other emotions. Kirishima knew his ears weren’t working right now, his face unable to meet his brain's screaming demands to smile, and he watched as their mouths moved as they questioned his sanity.
He was okay.
He was okay.
He was okay.
“Kirishima?”
Kirishima looked up, his neck craning to the side to see a tall, skinny man standing at the doorway.
Toshinori Yagi was an esteemed bodyguard, one of the best in the industry, which was saying something considering that most bodyguards went unknown and unnamed. According to Google, Toshinori gained the nickname All Might after saving multiple political and celebrity lives when the government could not. It was long after his prime, and the man had retired but has since filled as the company’s head — thus why this job was near impossible to get.
Kirishima heaved a breath, realizing that he hadn’t taken a single breath when Toshinori’s bruised eyes narrowed in his concern.
“C-Coming,” Kirishima smiled, the blood rushing to his ears mostly ignorable now, but the scorching concerned gazes of his friends feel like cinders on his shoulder.
He straightens his tie, fingers curling when he feels the cold sweat penetrating through his clothes, but Kirishima doesn’t let it show. Smiling like he does, Kirishima pushed through his friends and followed Toshinori out the door.
They walked down towards the conference rooms, rooms that held their contractors, in complete silence.
“This is an important case,” Toshinori began, his voice gentle and poorly hiding his concern. “I chose you because you are a great asset to have, Kirishima. You are strong and smart, and most importantly, are personable.”
Kirishima looked at the man, his face contorting with his anxiety. He didn’t want to be treated like glass.
“Honestly, you being so personable is why I chose you for this assignment. Todoroki-shounen was a contender at first, but he’s not much of a talker; the same goes for Bakugou-shounen. Midoriya-shounen was probably the best choice, but there’s a new assignment that asked for three, so I gave up those three,” Toshinori explained the current assignments. It both delighted Kirishima to hear that he could keep up with arguably the three most qualified workers here as it did, at times, make him feel lesser.
“Oh.”
But he was obviously not the first choice still.
“The only reason why you weren’t the first choice is because of what I walked into just now,” Toshinori interrupts Kirishima’s thoughts and words. Kirishima finds his eyes tearing away from the smooth, polished wood floor to see Toshinori stopping in front of Conference Room A, his gaze intense on him. “To be frank, I wasn’t too sure if we should have hired you all that time ago. You are excellent on the field, your skills are phenomenal. Something to be proud of, truly, but you are clearly not completely healed from your time on the force.”
“Toshinori—”
“Kirishima-shonen, I’m not saying that there’s shame in your current struggles,” Toshinori once again interrupts, his hand a soothing warmth on Kirishima’s shoulder. “I’m still not healed from my past injuries, and as many people have undoubtedly told you, it’s okay to not be okay. But you barely passed the psych evaluation and only passed your field training because you scored so phenomenally on the other things your lack of a shooting score passed you.”
Kirishima felt unable to look away from the piercing blue eyes, and the lump in his throat never tasted as bitter, as sad.
He had barely passed the admittance test.
“I just need to know, are you ready to take on this assignment?” Toshinori asks in complete seriousness. “It’s a high stake, big-name client. We do not expect anything untoward to happen, but we never know in these cases. I think highly of you, Kirishima-shonen, and if you are ready to take this on, I’ll believe you, but likewise, if you’re not, I will gladly give this to someone else.”
Kirishima swallowed, his dry tongue passing through his equally dry lips.
Without question, he was not okay, not when he nearly broke down twice in a matter of hours, but it was just a bad day. He wasn’t as shaken as he was two months ago; he was going to his mandated therapy, talking to people who could assist him. Kirishima just didn’t want to be treated like glass anymore; he wasn’t glass; he was an unbreakable force.
Steeling over his nerves and ignoring how his stomach twisted and turned, Kirishima raised his gaze to Toshinori.
“I can do it.”
A smile.
“Good.”
If Kirishima was sweating because he was on a mental slip earlier, he was now sweating because he was beyond petrified and embarrassed. His hands raised up to brush against his red spikey hair, praying to God that it didn’t look dumb. His legs bounced at a speed that was bordering insanity, but he could only hear the sound of his racing heart as he stared at your frowning form from across the table.
It was you — the Y/n, the world's biggest music idol, an absolute legend in the making.
“This is our very own Kirishima Eijirou, age twenty-eight. He has been with U.A.Services for approximately six months now and is without a doubt one of our most capable and well-serviced men,” Toshinori began the introduction to the three people on the other side of the table. Kirishima could feel a blush rising up his neck and settling into his cheeks as what he presumed to be you, your manager, and your lawyer shuffling through paperwork that was very thorough on his background. “He was enlisted in the military before joining our ranks and was honorably discharged at the age of twenty-six as First Sergeant Kirishima Eijirou due to extreme injury. He excels in negotiating, scouting, and is, as you know, a skilled close combatant and was skilled in handguns—”
“I don’t think he’ll need firearms,” you interrupt, a frown on your face in contrast to the bright smile Kirishima was so used to seeing on your face. He tensed in worry.
“Y/l/n!” your manager, Sato Kimiko, scolded.
“What? It’s true! We’ll be around my fans for the majority, if not all the time! How is that right? For him to have a firearm around defenseless, and may I add, harmless individuals?!” you argued, your eyebrows scrunching in your fury.
Kirishima felt frozen in his chair, his eyes seeking Toshinori for guidance, but found himself unable to look away from you. He knew nearly everything about you, he could admit with a proud grin that he was a super mega fan of you, and he might have, at one point, looked your height up to imagine how you would appear beside him. Kirishima had known this entire time that you were two feet shorter than him, but it hadn’t hit what that meant until he was shaking your hand when he first entered.
You were tiny.
His dick and mind really liked that, and seeing your own passion spilling out for your fans was making him fall deeper into this hole he had for you.
“You don’t have a say anymore? Do you understand? You were nearly assaulted yesterday, and we are all done waiting around for something serious to happen!” Kimiko yelled, her face contorted into a look of both frustration and fear. “Either you take this, or we all leave you. I won’t have you murdered in front of me! You’re twenty-six now, stop acting like a damn brat and grow the hell up!”
The words scorched the table, blistering heat filling the conference room as you met Kimiko’s glare.
Kirishima watched with a dropped jaw as your nostrils flared, your lips pursing, and your eyebrows furrowing with unspoken distaste and anger.
“Six months tops.”
“Uh, yes,” Toshinori interjected. “Our contracts only last up to six months for new clients, but if you find yourself wanting to extend your contract after those six months, we are very much open to negotiations.”
You nodded your head, your eyes falling back onto the booklet in your hands that exposed all the information available on Kirishima. From his likes, dislikes, to his allergies and the reason why he was discharged. Each in disturbingly deep detail to make sure all things were up on the table.
“So, you can’t shoot your gun, Kirishima-san?” you speak, your voice tight, a pleased, almost taunting tone.
Kirishima stills, embarrassment bubbling in his chest as you drop the booklet onto the table, exposing his military history to him and you.
“...no,” Kirishima answers truthfully.
The lawyer shifts from the other side of you, his eyebrows scrunching as he too comes across that piece of information.
“He won’t use firearms?” the lawyer scoffs, his semi-permanent frown deepening. “How will we know that he will keep Y/n completely safe from any sort of danger that may come her way? We’ll be paying six months for a glorified security guard? We want a bodyguard.”
“And we clearly have one,” you snap back, your eyes narrowing. “If my bodyguard isn’t Kirishima-san, I’m not getting one. I mean, isn’t that what you said earlier?”
“When we were assuming that the person Toshinori was assigning to your case was a well-rounded bodyguard. Not one that was still clearly haunted by his past.”
Fuck, that one hurt.
You scowled, your head tilting as you bared your teeth slightly, “And what? He managed to get into the best agency in all of Japan in spite of that. Sounds like he’s competent. I already told you I won’t take on a team, just one individual. I trust in Toshinori-san’s guidance and his choice in picking Kirishima-san. If you disagree, that’s too bad for you.”
“Y/n! Please stop this! You’re being ridiculous!” Kimiko huffed, slamming her own booklet down, her eyes drowning with her exhaustion. “I’m so sorry, Toshinori-san, Kirishima-san.”
“H-Hey, it’s okay!” Kirishima immediately imputed, his hands raising in a sign of retreat. “I know that Y/n has always enjoyed her independence as a solo star, and how me being involved now is imposing, especially after multiple attacks.”
Kirishima felt that his smile was a bit strained, a bit too forced, especially as your eyes hawked onto him. He felt like you were examining him, like a lab rat going through its initial trial and not knowing just what was to be expected.
“Six months?” you spoke, your gaze not leaving Kirishima’s own.
“Six months,” Kirishima agreed.
You hum, your head nodding. “Fine, six months tops unless the Lieutenant Colonel can apprehend these assholes faster.”
It had been ages since Kirishima had been called by his title, and for some reason, he found himself blushing. His mouth, for the first time this entire meeting, curled into a wolfish grin.
“You got it.”
The lawyer groaned, entirely aggravated and insulted. He stood up, “You’re asking to be murdered, Y/n. Don’t come haunting me when you end up dead and mutilated. You deserve all the shit you’re getting.”
Kirishima watched with his lips parted in a bewildered expression as the lawyer walked out of the room with a loud slam of the door.
You were unfazed, and Kimiko groaned, exhausted and embarrassed as she mumbled a weak, sullen, “I am so, so sorry, Toshinori-kun.”
“Ah, Kimiko-chan, it’s okay!” Toshinori shook his head and smiled knowingly. It wasn’t as if the long time famous bodyguard hadn’t seen his fair share of childish fights between clients. “Thank you for coming as always, and we’ll do our best to make sure that Y/n is in the best of hands.”
“Thank you… and so, the rest of the contract?”
“Ah, yes, let’s continue.”
So, the contract was discussed to full detail.
For six months, Kirishima would be attached to your side. He must always remain at most three meters away from you when there is no one around, and during fan interactions no more than one meter. He had a full say about your safety. If things got rough, you were to follow his every command. Your agency would pay for his room and lodging. He was to wear black pants and a black long-sleeved cotton tee. He would be working with every venue, every hotel, every conventions security team. He would lead them and never leave your side. He was to be awake an hour before you, rest when you were asleep so long as it was safe to do so. He was your guardian angel of sorts, and you would do nothing but adhere to him.
Most importantly, according to Kimiko, there was one thing they were hoping for: Kirishima's help and discretion. For the next six months, they would be relying on Kirishima’s support to figure out who the group behind the assault was and who the mastermind was behind it all is.
Or so the contract said.
“Y/n!” Kirishima called when the papers were signed, and the day he was set to start was printed. He will begin tomorrow. “Wait!”
You stopped at the door, Kimiko and Toshinori chatting merrily between them as they exited the conference room, Toshinori’s booming voice asking if it was true that Kimiko was attending to a near forty clients to which she bashfully admitted to. You were dressed in a creme knit long-sleeved shirt, faded ripped jeans, and a pair of nude heels. The heels were big, undoubtedly giving you inches, but you still barely got to his shoulder.
“I-I’m looking forward to looking — I mean working with you!”
You looked at him closely, your eyes dragging to the top of his toes to the tallest spike in his hair before your lips pulled into a contemplative pout. You looked back to his eyes, and you steeled over, your head tilting to the side.
“I mean no offense, Sergeant, I thank you for doing your job, but I have no intention of looking forward to working with you. I don’t want you here, so do your best to ignore the contract and realize that I am the most important person, so you will follow my demands.”
Kirishima can do nothing but stare as you turn on your heel and leave.
Well, so much for a good case.
Date: 5/2 Time: 14:00 Location: Tokyo Music Stadium
If you would have told Kirishima Eijirou that he had been working for the grand, the perfect, the fantastic music idol Y/n for a month now, two months ago, he would have laughed so hard he’d cry. Not only would he have not believed it, but he would only think of a million and two scenarios where he would go the entire day flirting.
Now a month into knowing you, of being your bodyguard on a contract for six months, Kirishima could say that of that entire thought, the only thing he had been right about was that he was, in fact, crying. Not only has he never managed to speak an entire conversation with you despite being attached to your hip seven days a week, but despite your much shorter stature, you had managed to get away from him.
You always managed to sneak away from him.
Kirishima could admit that the no more than five meters rule had been wholly and utterly demolished.
And now, Kirishima was crying, not out of joy, but of pure manly fear as he raced through the backstages of the stadium, desperate to find your short-ass anywhere.
“Go, Kirishima!” someone yelled as Kirishima whizzed past him, “Find Y/n!”
“T-Thank you!” Kirishima screamed as he continued onward, the yellow-lit concrete hallway seemingly haunting the further he went into it. The earpiece in his left ear shrilled, the telling sign he was getting a call. Putting a finger to the circle in his ear, he answered the car. “Hello?!”
“Ah, Kirishima-san!” Kimiko’s voice chirped on the other side of the line. “Wonderful to hear your voice again! I’m calling to let you know that the tour bus is parked outside of the venue now. The concert was a smashing success, and she’s come out unharmed for the past month! To make matters even better, since your arrival, there have been no more assault attempts! Oh, um, sorry, where are you guys?”
“We’re just, um!” Kirishima tried not to pant into the microphone; he was still racing ahead, his head peeking into every door and room he passed. “Y/n needed to use the restroom?!”
“Oh, wonderful. Okay! Let me know when you two are on your way over!”
“Ya, okay, bye!”
“By—”
Kirishima hung up as he crashed through the doors at the end of the hallway.
It was night out right now, the full moon reflecting down on the dirty concrete with the same intensity as the streetlamps overhead. And in the middle of a crowd of around twenty people was the person Kirishima was trying to find: you.
You were still dressed in the final costume change of your concert. Even from a distance, Kirishima could see the glitter and highlight on the tip of your nose and the curve of your cheekbones. The crowd around you was clearly not hostile. Each face was bright with broad smiles and sparkling with fresh tears, each voice high and pitchy as if they were talking with some goddess and not you.
There was a slight longing in Kirishima’s chest at the sight of you interacting with your fans, your smile was so beautiful, and he wished just for a moment that he was the one that it was directed towards. If he had met you as a fan, and only a fan, he wonders if you would look at him as you did the others. Would he see the pure joy in the depths in your eyes, the love, wonder, and pride as they asked you questions and answered your own?
He wanted to be just a fan.
“Y/n, the tour bus is here,” Kirishima finally found his voice, the tenor of his voice spreading through the narrow alleyway. “Say your goodbyes.”
He had to ignore the way you stiffened immediately, the unsolicited joy in your face breaking and becoming bleak as you met his gaze. Kirishima absolutely did not feel pressure behind his eyes when you rolled your eyes and began to say your goodbyes; he did not!
The group of fans waved goodbye as you walked backward toward Kirishima; you didn’t stop waving and continuing your parting conversations with the group until the metal doors of the stadium doors closed behind the two of you. Kirishima let out a sigh, his eyes closing for a brief moment before looking down at you. You were expressionless, eyes cold as you looked dead ahead.
“You’re not supposed to run away like that.”
“I thought we agreed you wouldn’t tell me what to do, Sergeant.”
“You know I can’t do that it’s not—”
“Part of your contract. Yeah, I know, but that’s your contract, not mine.”
“Oh, okay. Um, Kimiko? ...yeah, we’re heading out now. Five minutes, till.”
And then there’s only silence.
Neither Kirishima nor you bother talking the entire walk towards the tour bus, and you ignore Kimiko’s call that your lawyer would be meeting briefly before tomorrow's fan signing event. You walk into the bus and go directly to the beds, throwing yourself into the terribly padded bunk and passing out without so much as a sound.
Kirishima sinks into his own bed, it’s too small for him, but there’s nothing he can do about it. Sleep overcomes him easily these days; he’s always way too exhausted in chasing you down like some spoiled toddler you’re behaving like to dream. But that’s okay, he thinks as the comfort of sleep begins to dig its skeleton fingers into his side, at least the exhaustion stops the night terrors.
Date: 5/3 Time: 10:00 Location: Tokyo Music Tower
Now, Kirishima knew that it was a common belief and a nearly proven theory that when you met your idols, you should never ever have your expectations high on who they are as a person. Celebrities were out of touch, cruel, rude, nearly jaded. They weren’t exactly the common folk. With people willing to forget things like them being human beings themselves or the common thread of celebrities being too rich to care, any type of famous person was cold, rude, and ruthless.
He knew that.
He also knew that you weren’t like the nearly proven theory.
You were kind, sweet, a practical angel to anyone who dared to approach you. You were the exception to the rule, an outlier to them all. You spoke politely to all your fans, domestic and foreign, and you treated each fan like the most special person in the world.
You were a good person.
But Kirishima knew, just as you reacted to any cruel person you encountered, you had an edge. Your words were as vicious as your name was known. He genuinely enjoyed watching you put assholes into place, but he sulked, knowing he was always at the receiving end of the sharp, bitter tongue of yours.
For a month and a day now, he had been the number target of your bitter words and scorching hate, but he admitted that he enjoyed it when it wasn’t directed at him, if but a little bit.
“I’m not renegotiating my contract!” you groan, your palms slamming into the depths of your eyes. “I already told you that I don’t need all that money!”
“And I’m telling you that you need to increase the wages that you pay the rest of your team instead of all those charities or else people will begin dropping you!” the lawyer countered with similar fire, his scowl angry enough that Kirishima felt like he had to tear his gaze away from this horrible battle. “You won’t be the best of the best forever, y/n, get over your stupid savior act and look over the changes!”
Kirishima looked over at you, his eyebrows pinching as he watched you fold your arms, your cheeks pushed out to a puff as you looked at the stack of papers with the title page fully covered with the word Contract of Y/n and Co. on it. Well, it seemed that the rumor of you spending your paycheck on things that weren’t you was right, how entirely manly.
“Oh fuck off,” you growl, pushing out of the chair and storming away.
Kirishima glanced over at Kimiko, who was looking pale and exhausted, undoubtedly exhausted from the past thirty-minute battle between the lawyer and the idol that neither made a single step forward nor a step back. How you had the energy to fight so passionately was beyond him. Kimiko nodded minimally, her lips parting in a sigh as Kirishima stood up and followed after her.
“The only way that brat is going to listen is by force,” the lawyer sneered, his voice fading into the room that Kirishima exited. “If that’s how she wants to play, so be it.”
Fortunately for Kirishima, he catches up to you. There are tears of fury dripping down your cheeks, and he feels unable to speak as he discovers a new layer to you.
...how interesting.
“It’s my money,” you speak, but Kirishima is unsure if those words are meant for him or for the void, the earth that you would much rather converse with than him. “I already pay them all a much greater paycheck than they should be getting considering their client pool. Why do I have to bend to their stupid will when I’m the one making the money.”
Kirishima blinks, wondering just what people might want to raise with their contracts. But, he knew you were right. By her account, Kimiko had a client list of many successful individuals, and he may not know anything about the lawyer, but if he worked with Y/n, his name must be good. Guess they weren’t like you.
“People are selfish assholes,” was the only thing that Kirishima could think of, and was something he spoke before he could stop himself.
But you stop in your storm, the anger that clouded you somewhat dissipating, clearing just enough for you to turn to him, your sharp, beautiful eyes for the first time filled with rage that was not pointed at him, and an emotion that made him think of… amusement?
“Yeah,” you agree, a half-smile cracking onto your face, and Kirishima feels his soul begin leaving his very body. “People are selfish assholes, huh?”
“Very much.”
There’s a calm, a snorted chuckle, and Kirishima finds himself stumbling further into the abyss of his feelings for you.
The next ten hours seem to pass in a blur, Kirishima feeling like he was on Cloud Nine as he stood behind you, three meters as he watched fan after fan approach you. Signatures were made, pictures were taken, and Kirishima found that he never once had to approach.
Maybe, he thinks, just perhaps, the two of you can overcome this.
Ten minutes after the official signing is done, Kirishima can’t find you, and he curses loudly into the echoing floor.
So much for change.
Date: 5/17 Time: 23:00 Location: The Parking Lot - Mt. Lady Studios
Kirishima was, for the lack of better words, completely fucking done with you.
Don’t get it wrong, he still was a complete and massive fan of yours. He would never once betray his loyalty to you and your musical career, but he was slowly starting to realize just why the lawyer was set to dying of a heart attack any time soon. Despite your early entrance to stardom and the stuff of legends, you had kept your fiery, stubborn individualism.
Kirishima thought it was absolutely hot and sexy at times, especially the times where you strut around in revealing clothes because ‘this is your body,’ or the lingerie campaign you completed two days ago as part of some fundraising event. There were significant perks to your strong handle and claim to keeping your indestructible personality, but it came back to rub them all back in the worst of ways when once again, you escaped from Kirishima’s side.
To be fair, most of the time, Kirishima was a very level headed individual; he was near impossible to rile up despite popular initial belief. I mean, he was good friends with Bakugou Katsuki, who riled up just about anyone he talked to! He needed to have steel calm emotions, or at the very least portray that he does. But even the unbreakable after tireless attempts can, at times, be broken.
It had been a hard morning.
Kirishima had woken up in a panic, the sweat of his night terror soaking through the sheets of his bed, and his head felt like lead. They had been in the tour bus for the entire day because you were going from the tip of Japan to the bottom of it, thus meaning that you couldn’t run away from him, concluding that when he went to bed that night, he was merely tired, not exhausted.
“K...Kiri...shima?” the voice whispered in his ears when he bolted from his bed and tumbled to the ground, his chest heaving in his panic as he cried.
He only slept for four hours that night, the ghost of his comrade haunting him too much for him to ever drift back to sleep. The only thing he was grateful for when he stumbled down to the hotel lobby for breakfast was that he had an attack while in his own room and not in a tour bus with ten others.
But the lack of sleep and the twisting of his guts from his still unburied memories meant that his exhaustion was dialed up larger than he thought was capable. Today was an interview day plus a miniconcert at said interview.
That meant that for an hour before your interview and two hours afterward, Kirishima lost you and had to hunt you down. You weren’t making it easy on him and had started moving with the crowd you gathered to evade him.
But today, Kirishima was exhausted.
Today, Kirishima wanted to sleep.
Today… Kirishima broke.
“Let’s go,” Kirishima spoke in a low, commanding voice. His eyes were hooded as he looked down at you, the crowd of fans parting like the red sea as he stands behind you, larger than life, imposing.
You ignore him.
“We’re leaving, now.”
“Aw, did you make that just for me?! This beading is gorgeous!”
To be fair, Kirishima isn’t really sure if he’s crying right now or if steam is protruding from his ears like some stupid cartoon. The only thing he knows is that it's been a bit longer than a month, and his client is the most perfect person in the world except to him and some lawyer. All he knows is that he has been continuously mocked, shamed, and disrespected by his client, and at this moment, with his mind and body aching with the memories of the morning, he can no longer stop the tsunami of emotions and thoughts that shove out of him.
He grabs your wrist and begins pulling you away.
“We’re leaving now, sorry to disrupt your time. Come see Y/n another day.”
Kirishima isn’t even aware of your screams, the banging of your small fist against his back as his hand encompasses your bicep easily. He walks and walks and walks until he stops, his mind slightly put back into place.
“—FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?! LET GO OF ME, SERGEANT!”
Oh, right.
He lets go of you immediately and nearly snorts at how you stumble into his back. So small, so delicate, and so completely weak.
“You want to know my problem, y/l/n?” he asks, voice eerily calm, much calmer than he actually is. “My fucking problem is that I signed onto this case with a single rule: keep you in sight and protect you. It’s simple, almost too easy, isn’t it? But easy and simple is everything that this assignment is!”
Your face contorted into a flash of anger and embarrassment, your nose scrunching as you found your footing, “And I told you that I don’t give a crap about that contract! I didn’t want it in the first place, but no one listens to me!”
Kirishima snorts, his body shifting so that he can look at you properly; your face is seething, your teeth bared and eyes wild, but Kirishima has faced worse.
“It’s not in my contract to listen to you, unfortunately,” Kirishima points out, his eyes narrowing. “I would have a better time listening to you, trying to find an agreement that worked if you used that brain of yours and figured out a way to compromise with me.”
“Compromises aren’t—”
“You think I wouldn’t?” Kirishima almost whines, his voice tight with emotions, fingers fisting in his hair, “You really fucking think that after a month and how many days of me spending stupid hours trying to find your ass, most of the time never knowing if you’re dead or not, I wouldn’t want a better solution?!”
“Like hell they’ll kill me! And if they do, I don’t fucking care!” you stubbornly insist, finger buried against the swell of your chest.
“Oh my god,” Kirishima can’t stop the bitter laugh from escaping, “you’re ridiculous.”
“I’m ridiculous?! I’m not the ridiculous one here!” you cry, your eyes bursting with unshed, bitter tears. “So what that I run away from you? Can you imagine living the past ten years of your life trying to be something that the media wants you to be? No! You can’t, Sergeant! Those times where I’m running away isn’t to be some dick, but to give me time to be me!”
“You’re a goddamn idiot!” Kirishima barks, his anger curdling in his chest like a raging fire. “If you had looked at my damn file correctly, instead of focusing on the stupid shit like me not being able to fire my gun correctly, you would be more than aware of the fact that you are one of my favorite artists!”
“Wh-”
“I am one of the best in my company! I am easy to get along with, personal, manageable, flexible even, but from the very first moment you laid eyes on me, you’ve hated me! You talk down on me, you shit on me, my job, the reason I’m here! Listen, I would fucking love to be anywhere but here right now. I have literally never hated my job before, but you just made that a reality. But the worst part of this all is the fact that you seem to think I would have kept you away, prohibited you from doing things that I already know you love! You stand there and tell me that I would try to force you to do shit you don’t want when I have merely been asking for you to take me there with you! I don’t care if I have to stand away and watch, but I want to be there! I’m supposed to be protecting you, but you’re being nothing more than a stubborn brat who refuses to see the efforts I’m trying to make, and frankly, I’m done.”
Kirishima’s chest is burning with the lack of oxygen, his eyes narrowed and filled with raging fire as he stares down at you, his neck craned so that he could be closer, more daunting, intimidating.
“Fuck o-off,” you snap suddenly, a lone tear, your voice tight and shoulders tense as you storm off.
“So predictable,” Kirishima calls after you, but it’s not filled with the previous anger he had but the sinking misery and regret.
And for a moment, it’s quiet.
Until a single name is screamed.
“SERGEANT!”
And then the all too familiar sound of a fist colliding with skin.
The anger in Kirishima’s blood evaporates immediately, and horror sinks in as he turns towards where you had stormed off. Oh no, oh no, oh no.
The parking lot is filled with an ugly yellow light that seems to set the stage for what was to come down. His footsteps crashing down against the black pavement were mute in his ears, and his eyes were focused on your limp body slung over somebody's shoulder. There was one person behind him, the other one already hopping into a van; Kirishima was the devil on their heels.
“Come on! Let’s go!” the one in the van screamed, his voice full of gruff apprehension and fear.
The van turns on.
Kirishima grunts, adrenaline pumping through his veins as he sidesteps the man who was lingering behind the one carrying you and quickly slams his shoulder into the man's sternum, knocking him out the moment he collapses onto the ground.
He lets out a roar of such, his eyes glowing with anger and a single mind track to take down the person who held you, ready to throw your unconscious body into the back of the van.
Kirishima doesn’t even know when he manages to get to the man's side, one hand on his shoulder, the other on you, and with the strength and anger of a million fighting warriors, he ripped you from his hold and sent him stumbling into the trunk. Your shallow breathing brushes against his neck, and Kirishima is hyper-aware of the cursing men who chose to abandon their unconscious comrade on the floor.
With his arms filled by your unconscious body, Kirishima can only watch the van scurry out of the lot, the license plate immediately burning into his mind.
T082-23
When the man on the floor finally wakes up, he’s in police custody, and you’re just waking up. There's a bruise on your cheek, and you begin crying immediately.
Kirishima watches from the distance, his heart aching and guilt climbing up his throat as he watches Kimiko hold you close, her arms warm and tight.
Well, shit.
So much for the month of no attacks.
Kirishima sits in a waiting room, his head relaxed against the wall as he waits for your discharge from the hospital. They suspect a concussion, and they’re running some tests right now. The police are there too, trying to get information from you on the failed kidnapping attempt as well as beginning the initial trials of interrogation of the abandoned kidnapper with a broken sternum, ruptured spleen, and three cracked ribs.
He was not surprised when the police officers came to talk to him, and he gave them the license plate.
But they also gave him an essential piece of information.
(“Well, when we asked for a motive, it seemed that it wasn’t his idea,” the detective admitted, his hand rubbing the back of his neck. “His boss said that, and I quote, Y/n will end up dead and mutilated as is deserved. She deserves all the shit she has coming her way, end quote. Any ideas of who it could be”
Kirishima rubbed a hand across his face, the words striking a bit too familiarly to him, but from where. He shook his head, his eyes focusing on his bouncing knee.
“Thank you,” Kirishima said, his tone pointed in a clear indicator that this conversation was now over. The detective nodded, his frown slight as he left. The moment he was gone, Kirishima pulled out his phone and dialed a number. “Kimiko? Yeah, I think we might have our first suspect.”)
For now, he was waiting for you.
An hour passed before you shuffled into the waiting room. There was a bandage on your swollen cheek, but besides the obvious attack, your eyes looked strong, and it seemed like there was no concussion.
“I should be fine,” you speak first, your jaw tensing as if it physically pained you to speak (whether it was because you hated talking to him or because of the injury, Kirishima had no idea). “I will be fine; I just need some sleep.”
Kirishima nodded, his body completely exhausted, and his mind filled with nothing but regrets on how he handled his anger earlier. He needed to apologize. He wasn’t entirely wrong, but he had definitely crossed a few too many lines.
“Should we go?”
You chewed on your lip, your eyes looking down at the white tiled floors of the hospital — so bleak, so anxiety driving.
“I actually wanted to talk before we left.”
Oh?
“Of what, if I may ask?”
Your eyes raise back up before looking away again, “the contract.”
Kirishima finds himself nodding, his hand gesturing towards the empty seat in front of him.
“Sure.”
And with a heaving sigh that sounds like you were on the verge of tears, you sit before him.
The contract was then discussed.
It was decided that you could continue to interact with fans as you wish, so long as you took Kirishima with you. He didn’t care about the long hours, the manic fans, or the impending doom of a group of people who meant business. He needed to be there.
Everything else stayed the same, but Kirishima looked at you one last time that night in the hospital, his body leaning towards you as he did his best to keep his face void of emotion and any lingering teasing.
“I’ll only accept this new negotiation on one term.”
“W-What?!” you pause, thinking. “Fine, say it.”
“From here on out, I think we should be friends, yeah? I’m on your side, after all, it’s a bit weird if we stay just acquaintances.”
The tension and horror leave your body, and Kirishima, for the first time ever, bears witness to the most relaxed, meaningful smile he has ever seen you give. It had been one hell of a shitty night, but at that very moment when the seventh turned into the eighth, Kirishima felt a new warmth flood through his chest, his heart racing at the sight of your glorious smile.
“Of course, Kirishima.”
“Oh, and y/n?”
“Yes?”
“I’m sorry about all that I said. It was unmanly of me and out of line.”
“It’s okay. To be fair, I was a bit of a self-absorbed brat, too.”
The next day, a picture of Kirishima holding you bridal style is trending.
Date: 6/12 Time: 19:00 Location: Hime Onsen
An Interview with Y/n | Vogue Japan 4.5 million views • Premiered 2 hours ago 874k [liked this] 12.3k [disliked this] Timestamp: 05:32 / 10:33
[Interviewer]: Now, Y/n, we must congratulate you on your latest achievement! Your latest self-titled album, ‘Y/N,’ has been nominated for a record high of twelve awards for the upcoming Japan Record Awards, which will be coming up in about a month! Tell us how you feel about this?
[You]: It was quite a surprise actually! I didn’t realize that it would have done so well in the critic's eyes to get this type of award. I am proud of myself and am excited to see all the other amazing artists and musicians who were nominated as well.
[Interviewer]: Now, your album is all about staying true to yourself, whether that be in love or war. It depicts your own highs and lows while also highlighting beautifully universal things many of us face. Without question, you have always been adamant on staying connected with your fans and keeping a simple rule: no bodyguards.
[Y/n]: Oh, (laughs) yes! That is definitely a new thing, huh?
[Interviewer]: A new thing and a beautiful thing at that, too! Look here!
[captioner notes: interviewer displays many photos of Y/n’s bodyguard, including the most famous one where he’s holding y/n after the failed kidnapped attempt]
[Interviewer]: This is a beautiful — don’t giggle! — a beautiful man, Y/n! What do you have to say for yourself?! Did you finally succumb to keeping untrue to yourself for this beautiful man?! If so, it is perfectly acceptable. By chance, is your contract with him done? I would personally love to have this man on my team.
[Y/n]: (laughing) By all means, take him! (Y/n looks behind her, her bodyguard is there) I’m kidding, I’m kidding! (pauses) No, actually, sorry. Kirishima is an outstanding bodyguard, and I have no intentions of leaving him so soon. Uh, while I did say I had no wish or intentions to have a bodyguard, obviously that was not the best solution, so I hired Kirishima. He is a wonderful addition to my team and still allows me to be authentically me, so it’s still all good.
[Interviewer]: Ah, okay, well, Kirishima-kun, if you ever need a new client, call me. But moving on, yes! Would you like to discuss the series of increasingly concerning attacks?
Kirishima stood in the softly lit hallways of a sauna.
Today was one of the last remaining days you had off, and in celebration of your upcoming award season, you had decided that it was mandatory to visit the hot springs. Everyone on your team — the backup dancers, band, and hair and makeup — were ecstatic to learn that they were being involved with it too.
This high-end resort had accommodated your entire team to receive their own private spring with an all-inclusive menu too.
It was thanks from the owner for the free PR and, of course, because they were some of your biggest fans. So, in thanks, everyone got to enjoy the springs.
Well, everyone but Kirishima, that was.
As of the past month, things between Kirishima and you had improved a lot.
With Kirishima no longer needing to run a marathon daily to find where you were, he would find himself walking at your side. He no longer felt like you hated him. There was respect and actual friendship between the two of you. You joked with him, showed him memes and TikTok, sent him snapchat streaks, and invited him to watch weird shows with you. You even complained to him about the things that annoyed you, namely Kimiko’s attention being stolen by other clients and the rude conversations you would have with the lawyer.
It made Kirishima’s chest warm up knowing that you were friends now.
A stressful month had passed into a friendlier one.
But there were some things that Kirishima would not have expected to… arise.
Namely you growing to be comfortable enough to walk around with nothing but a thin pair of panties and a large shirt. You curling into his side whenever you watched a show together in the bus, the way your lips brushed against his neck when he leaned down to hug you, or the very so not obvious teasing you would do when you changed in front of him. It was as if you were watching his every reaction, enjoying the way that his eyes horribly tore away, or the silent hitch in his throat whenever you speed his heart up.
The biggest surprise arose the night after the failed kidnapping attempt:
You had come to his room, hours after you were supposed to have fallen asleep.
Your eyes were sunken, still a bit tired, and the bruise on your cheek was looking bad. In your arms was a white binder undoubtedly filled with the introductory packet you had received at your initial meeting. Kirishima had opened the door in his sleepy state in nothing but gym shorts. He had barely started dozing off, his mind wouldn’t stop thinking of what could have happened if you hadn’t managed to scream, and so he kept tossing and turning.
Seeing you outside of his room, his head dropped down to look at you properly, and his fist rubbing at his eye fell, “Y/n?”
“Did I wake you?” you asked, your face filled with a shocked, near uncomfortable, and embarrassed expression he doesn’t recall ever seeing on you. “I’m so sorry! I’ll wait until—”
“No,” Kirishima grunts while he shakes his head, his voice raspy and dry from his lack of use. “I’ve been tossing and turning, um, what is it? Do you want to come in?”
“I-If that’s okay?”
Kirishima breathes out a bit, his shoulders relaxing as he smiles softly, “Come on, let’s talk about what’s on your mind.”
The door clicked behind your tentative steps with an echo, and Kirishima watched as you walked into the hotel room with wariness and caution.
“Would you like some tea?” Kirishima offered, picking up a shirt from his dresser and pulling it over his body. The fabric was tight against his chest and shoulders, but felt more appropriate to wear around you.
“No, I’m okay,” you politely decline.
You stood in the center of the room, unsure of where to sit, stand, or lay.
“Go ahead and make the bed,” Kirishima offered, taking the chair by the desk. “I promise it’s still clean.”
You laugh slightly, smile strained but grateful as you sit at the edge of the bed, binder resting on your lap.
“Thanks, I wouldn’t want to sit on a dirty bed,” you joke, but it sounds weak to Kirishima’s ears.
“So, what questions do you have?”
“Hm?”
“You have my portfolio,” he shrugs, leaning forward so that his forearms rest on his knees. “I have a feeling you have some questions.”
“Oh, right,” you whisper, your eyebrows scrunching as you open the binder to the first page, but your eyes are focused on the desk. “What’s the medication for?”
Kirishima turns his head to follow your gaze and comes across the yellow tinted medicine containers.
“My PTSD,” Kirishima answers honestly, his voice soft with emotion, but there was no shame in it. “My service had a difficult end.”
“That’s actually… that’s what I came to talk about,” you rush, your hands slamming the binder closed. “If you don’t want to talk about it, obviously I won’t push it! God, I’m sorry I shouldn’t have—”
“No, it’s okay,” Kirishima interrupted, his smile sad, but he stood up, his body a tower in front of yours as he urged you to sit back down. “It’s okay; I don’t mind talking about it.”
“B-But what if I say something that makes it all worse?”
A pause.
“Then I’ll tell you that it’s too much.”
A nod.
“Are you… are you still experiencing a lot of symptoms?” you ask, your fingers tightening and untightening around the binder.
“Some days are worse than others,” Kirishima admits, his shoulders shrugging. “I don’t experience much anxiety while in crowds anymore; I don’t have many flashbacks to those days anymore, not since February at least. I do still get… I still get night terrors and dream of that day. It’s nowhere near as bad as the first few months after the accident, but it’s still here.”
“What happened?” you asked after a bit, morbidly curious.
The file had all the details that proved Kirishima to be a master of firearms during his entire time on the force. He was a powerful combatist, and his ranking was a clear indicator of the respect and skills he had. Still, it was the quick honorable discharge, the near year-long hospitalization, and the current inability to use a firearm that concerned you.
What had happened?
“I was involved in a grenade explosion on my last day on tour. I was the only one who managed to survive the blast,” Kirishima easily stated, his voice quiet.
“Oh my god, I… holy shit, I’m so sorry.”
“Nah, it’s all good. There were only two others around, and one of them was already dead.”
“Was that um, Major—”
“We called him Crimson Riot, actually,” Kirishima smiled, a chuckle light on his tongue as he leaned back onto the chair, nodding. “Yeah, that was him.”
“Crimson Riot,” you repeat, nodding. “Did you watch him… watch him die?”
Kirishima presses his lips tightly together, and for a moment, you’re unsure if he’s going to cry, answer you, or tell you to leave. There’s a whirlwind of emotions on your optimistic and typically jubilant bodyguard despite your asshole tendencies that make your stomach twist.
“Yes,” Kirishima finally answers, and you nod.
It’s hours into the morning before you finally depart back to your room, the horrors of Kirishima’s past still pounding into your ears. Kirishima wouldn’t notice, and neither would you, but on his shirt and yours, there’s a few drops of tears the both of you shed when you said goodnight.
Sergeant Kirishima Eijirou, while on an active warzone, had accidentally struck and killed his superior officer, his friend, his role model Crimson Riot, thinking that he was nothing more than an enemy target as he sat wounded behind a wall. He died on his lap, and as someone came to help, a grenade landed two meters away before detonating.
“K...Kiri...shima?” Crimson Riot had whispered as he fell to his knees, blood gushing and seeping through his clothes, spilling onto Kirishima’s lap. “I’ll be okay.”
For whatever reason, since that night, Kirishima felt something in him shift. He still took his medication, still had his virtual therapy sessions when he could fit them in, and even had painful night terrors of that moment, but it was becoming less frequent.
He wasn’t made of glass.
There had been more instances after the kidnapping attempt, but unlike the last times, Kirishima was prepared. He had stopped each one, keeping you safe and sound. As of one week ago, he had officially been given a firearm to keep strapped to his thigh at all times now.
It was an unfamiliar weight, one that still twisted his stomach and made him nervous, but he knew the reason why it was needed. Since the gun had been added to his gear, the attacks stopped. He was definitely not ready to be firing it anytime soon, but it had deterred the attackers for the time being.
Kirishima paused when he heard his earpiece ring, and he dropped his phone where he had been watching your interview despite being there himself.
“Talk to me,” Kirishima answered, his finger pressing the accept button.
“Kirishima!” came the distressed voice of Kimiko, “We just got a tip!”
Kirishima stilled, his eyes scanning the empty hallways that stretched throughout the private hot springs.
“I don’t know, but a person with connections with this mastermind said something about how there were two more events he was staging. Today is one of them!”
Kirishima’s eyes widened, his lips parting to answer Kimiko when instead there was a large, loud crash in the water from inside your room. He assumed the worst.
“Y/n!” Kirishima shouted, hands throwing open the sliding door and racing through the storage room, the shower, and exited out into the hot spring.
Steam curled through the wind, the white wisps of steam feeling warm and light against Kirishima’s skin, and Kirishima panicked when he couldn’t see your shadow or figure in the hot springs.
“Where is she?! Is she alright?!” Kimiko panicked, her voice panicking already. “I’ll call the—”
Kirishima turned on his heel, ready to complete a full sweep of the outdoor hot spring when he crashed into something smaller than he was… smaller, softer, and definitely the shape of a woman. Kirishima felt his entire body stiffen when his rough palms felt the undeniable feeling of wet, warm skin.
“Oh my god,” he heard you shriek. “KIRISHIMA!”
“She’s all good, Kimiko,” Kirishima stifled out, his voice tight, his head slamming backward so that his eyes were concentrated on the starry night sky.
“...sorry… uh aha! Another client of mine is calling, goodbye!” Kimiko’s apology was meek and small before she hung up.
Kirishima’s mind was racing a mile a minute, but his body was frozen, unmoving like a rock when he realized that pressing to his stomach was, without a doubt, your breasts.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
“What are you doing in here, pervert?!” you splutter, your hands pressing to his stomach as you step away. “Are you a pervert or something?!”
“I, no! No! Of course not! Fuck, shit, I’m so sorry! I’ll go! There was a tip that something was going to happen right now, and there was a crash and—”
“What are you looking at?” you exclaim, squeaky frustration heavy on your tongue. “There’s nothing wrong with the sky! Look me in the eyes? Have you never been to a co-ed hot spring before?!”
“Y-Yes, sorry!” Kirishima apologized, bowing slightly in apology before he peered down. Still, his face bursted in a flame as he watched the way your jaw dropped in disbelief, the dewy wetness of the hot spring clinging to your body. You were, obviously, soaked, and Kirishima bit his tongue as hard as he could to keep the whimper from expelling past his lips when he saw the light gleaming off your breasts. But he watched your face shift between a million emotions, each one appearing too fast for him to read, too fast to register, but he saw the way a single-arm wrap around your breast and the other shoving into his stomach.
“PERVERT!”
“What?!”
“That was a test! This is my private room! I have the right to not be willing to be looked at right now!” you shrieked as Kirishima spun around, allowing you the complete privacy of his gaze.
“You told me to look at you!” he squawked. “Y-You told me, and I listened because of our contract!”
Kirishima could feel his body trembling, his mind reeling in disbelief that he definitely saw you in your entire nakedness, and if the swirling heat in his stomach had anything to say about it, he liked it. Fuck.
There was a soft laugh and the sound of sloshing water as you probably (he wouldn’t know because he wasn’t looking) reentered the spring.
“I know, I was teasing,” you sing, and he can tell the water is gliding around your body. “Turn around, Kiri, let’s talk.”
“Haha, um, I’m not sure if that’s a good idea,” Kirishima admits, although sitting in this steam-filled space with just you sounds so very nice.
“Why not?” you asked, voice sounding a bit upset.
“I’m supposed to be outside, doing my job?”
“Augh, but these private springs are so boring alone,” your voice whines; the water sloshes, and Kirishima winces at the slight throb on his tongue as he continues to look at not your direction. “Turn around, Kiri.”
Not too long ago, you had taken to calling him Kiri, a subtle change, a not unusual nickname people gave him. But just because it was you, his stomach flipped and twisted, and now with the image of your tits in mind, his dick throbbed.
Gulping, Kirishima turned, his gaze bashfully looking down at you before glancing away. You were chest-deep in the hot springs, tendrils of your wet hair sticking to your neck. Was he dead? Maybe dreaming?
No, his dreams were never like this.
“Do you want to come in?” you continued to ask, your body moving towards him in the water until you reached the edge of the pool, arms testing into the black rocks. “You’re the only one not in one, and since I hate being in these alone, I figured you’d like to join.”
Kirishima wanted to join. More than anything, he wanted to take his clothes off and jump into the springs with you, for you, but that would be unprofessional. Entirely and utterly unprofessional.
“Please?” you ask softly, pleadingly, and Kirishima makes the mistake of locking his gaze with yours.
“...fine, but I’ll be on the other side of the spring,” he concedes, his steps near clumsy and oafish as he stumbles backward to the shower and closet.
“Such a gentleman pervert,” you tease, fingers curling as you wave at him until Kirishima finally closes the door behind him.
The empty room is nearly deafening in its silence and the future as Kirishima slumps against the sliding door, excited apprehension rippling through every cell of his skin as a smile spreads across his face. He walks to the storage room, and despite it being a private room, there were two closets. The closet not already occupying your clothes had the things needed for him, and thankfully, it fit.
He undressed slowly, folding his clothes and placing them into the cubbies. Fully naked, he approached the showers, and under the lukewarm showerhead, he cleaned his body of any grime, dirt, and sweat.
Feeling refreshed and clean, Kirishima began his descent to the hot spring, his heart hammering when his fingers grabbed the handle of the door.
“I’m coming in,” he announced, a healthy amount of fear, excitement, and heat drumming through him.
“I’ll keep my virgin eyes away from your body, don’t worry,” came your slow tease, and Kirishima snorted softly.
Kirishima stepped back out to the hot spring.
Just like the first time, the entrance to the spring was warm, the steam seeming thicker than last time, clouding the outdoor room and his sight. You were at the furthest out part of the pool, your back towards them as you worked your fingers through your scalp.
Discarding his slippers at the edge, Kirishima climbed into the pool.
The pool only went as far as his thigh, and he sank into the warm water. It felt wonderful on his body, relaxing his muscles just enough for him to wonder when was the last time he had managed to visit a hot spring.
“I’m in,” Kirishima said, his arms rising up out of the water, resting onto the black stone. “You can turn around now.”
“God, took you long enough,” you tease, your body twisting so that you were facing him again.
To Kirishima’s complete and utter surprise, you stilled, eyes dragging up and down his exposed chest, eyes locked on the series of tattoos all over his right pectoral, and trailed down his right arm. His lips felt dry as your eyes shifted back to his face, to his arm, and back to him. The smile on your face felt weak, but it sent a spiral of dizzying heat through Kirishima when he noticed the hushed lust.
For a while, the two of you remained at opposite ends of the hot spring. Eyes closed, hummed melodies passing through the song. You asked Kirishima about how he felt, if his medication was due for refills, if therapy was okay (he was doing better, a refill was due in two weeks, and therapy was going the same). He asked you about your relationship with Kimiko, with the lawyer, and if you had any real friends within the music industry (Kimiko was like an older cousin to you, the lawyer was a pain to deal with at times, and surprisingly, you did meet some genuine friends). You questioned how his friends were doing, if he had any contact with them despite their busy schedules.
So Kirishima found himself retelling stories of his coworkers turned close friends. Each story he told left both of you with sore stomachs from laughter, and tears at the corner of your eyes from laughing too hard.
“Was the tip story true?” you asked once the quiet overcame and grew old. You shift through the water, getting a bit closer to Kirishima.
Kirishima coughed, suddenly feeling a tad bit shy about his posture, but decided to keep from moving.
“You honestly think I would have barged into here just because I wanted to see you?”
Truthfully, had Kirishima been a man without morals, chivalry, or disrespect for you, he would have. Definitely would have.
“Let a girl dream,” you smile, like a luring siren as you wander closer by just a step. “It would go against everything I know about you, but it’s fun to tease.”
“You’re a bigger brat than I thought you would be,” Kirishima smiles back, trying his best to not show the way goosebumps were bursting against his skin, his eyes locked on yours, trying to not get distracted by the way your wet skin made his mind spin.
“I don’t think I’m a brat,” you counter, getting close enough that he could feel the currents of the water with your movement. But you were far enough that Kirishima felt like pointing out the fact you disregarded his keep apart rule would be a mistake. “How am I a brat?”
The sound of the water rippling through the springs along with the growing noises of the bugs began a melody around the two of you, and all Kirishima could do was stare at the way you blinked your eyes slowly — like a feline stalking a prey.
“A lot of ways, really,” Kirishima breathes, his heart rising up to his throat as he felt your hands gingerly place themselves on his knees.
“Yeah?” you ask, parting through his naked legs, and Kirishima felt his breathing stop when your exposed chest pressed against his. Your lips were ghosting so far from his but tantalizingly close enough that he felt drunk off your sweet breath. “And what are you going to do about it?”
Kirishima sucked in air, his arms resisting movement, and his eyes glanced down at the way your mouth was millimeters from his. His dick was very much interested in what he could do about it, and when your hands grazed up his thigh and onto his chest, Kirishima could feel something rumble in his chest.
He moved to eliminate the space, but there was a crash in the following spring, pushing you away from him long before he could claim your mouth.
“FUCK!” the person in the opposite spring screamed, and Kirishima’s eyes closed in his muted annoyance as you sighed.
His eyes dropped to the water, giving you the privacy to rise out of the water and make your way over to the wall.
“Jenny, are you okay?” you called.
“Give me a warning the next time you try fucking your hot bodyguard in the middle of a private onsen!”
“We weren’t fucking you prude!”
And with that, Kirishima took this as his embarrassed cue to leave.
He stood at the entrance of your private spring for about twenty minutes, entirely uncomfortable with the still hard dick in his pants, rubbing and chaffing against his jeans as he stood there. Eventually, you exited the hot spring, face glowing from the steam and eyes avoiding his gaze as you walked back to your room. Your robe was tight on your body, the hair on the nape of your neck pressed to your skin.
Kirishima sighed as he watched you enter your room, your smile short as you nodded a simple goodnight before letting the door slam shut behind you.
Rubbing his face, Kirishima listened to the voices in his intercom talk about how nothing had happened tonight. An attempted unwelcome visitor tried to get into your room, but they had stopped him. They didn’t fight, but they had run away the moment they caught on to the fact that they weren’t exactly authentic.
Kirishima sighed as he slumped into his room, collapsing on the too small bed as he found himself looking at the ceiling in deep concentration.
What was he going to do now?
That was undeniably sexual, his still semi-hard dick damning evidence to the known fact that he wanted you. By god did he want you. Wanted you beneath him, over him, splitting yourself down onto his cock while you gripped your arms and legs around him, fucking down onto his driving cock.
Kirishima groaned low in his chest, guilt blooming in the back of his throat as his palm rubbed his pulsing cock.
Bad, Kirishima, bad.
“Kirishima-san?” a voice broke through his earpiece, and Kirishima nearly jumped out of his skin. “Are you there?”
“Hi Kimiko,” Kirishima sighed, his dick deflating instantly. “Everything all right?”
“Ah, yes! Sorry about earlier, the false tip and the sudden abandonment!” Kimiko embarrassingly apologized. “My client was ringing for the fourth time, and while I care deeply for y/n, I had to take it!”
“Mm, no worries, Kimiko,” Kirishima smiled politely despite the lack of visual contact. “How can I help you?”
“Ah, yes,” Kimiko asserted, her tone changing from apology to one of formality. “So, about the visitor incident I’m sure you were brought attention to, it seems that the vehicle they came in was with the driver's plate: T082-23. Does that sound familiar?”
“Not currently,” Kirishima sighed, his body stretching into a sitting up position. “Does it to you?”
“No…” Kimiko admitted, and Kirishima could feel the worried frown on her face. “Well, I just wanted to call and give you that information. It was passed along to me, and they mentioned they hadn’t told you. And since I was going to give you the schedule for the upcoming JRA’s award day, I figured I’d let you know!”
“No problem! Let’s go over the schedule now?”
“Yes! I have a client meeting in America right after this! Can you believe it? An American celebrity wants my help?!”
“That sounds amazing, Kimiko!”
“Okay, so this is how the day’s going to go!”
Date: 7/10 Time: 18:00 Location: Tokyo Hotel Room 101
Kirishima watched as an entire team was getting you dressed up.
Two people were doing your hair, three people doing your nails, one person doing your makeup, and five getting one of your three outfits for the night ready.
According to you, as you had strutted around in these outfits nearly two weeks ago were your red carpet and beginning of the award show outfit, your performance outfit, and of course, the after-party outfit. Each one was different, yet when adorned on your body was a perfect replica of who you were.
Most importantly, the two of you had decided to ignore every single instance of tremendous sexual energy and desire that basically leaked from both of your pores. It was for the best to ignore it. There was no point in pursuing it, especially when there was a known hunt for you, and Kirishima was the last line of defense between you and whoever it was.
Whoever it was, pfft.
Kirishima was willing to bet on who it was already.
Since the night of the initial kidnapping that finally closed the gap between you and Kirishima, there was something that the caught criminal said that stuck with him.
Everything you had coming your way, you deserved, he had said in bitter spite.
The interesting thing was that it was the lawyer who had said that, multiple times at that. The lawyer seemed to have everything to fuel him to rage against you. Everything you said or tried, the lawyer was on your heel, barking at you that it was wrong. Kirishima had also seen the contracts between you and the lawyer, and the amount that he was paid to be your attorney was not large at all.
The mass majority of the funds you earned were always funneled towards charities and organizations you trusted to help people in need — in fact, it was almost 80% of your total earnings. A meek, barely larger than 20% was split between you, your lawyer, Kimiko, your music crew, and any other unforeseen expenses. The lawyer was also in a situation where he was not in demand with clients, and if you weren’t heeding his expensive tag, he needed a new contract with you.
A contract he was always demanding to discuss with you that you denied to change.
Attacks tended to happen days after you and the lawyer tumbled, not enough to rouse suspicion if you weren’t looking, but Kirishima was. He just needed damning evidence now.
Something.
Anything.
And for some reason, his gut was screaming at him that something big was going to happen tonight, that tonight was going to be the last attack—the one to end everything.
So he had told everyone about it. Kimiko, the security at the JRA’s, even you. It made him nervous.
It made his hand sweat, the gun strapped to his thigh feeling like hot iron as he stood about as you laughed with your makeup crew.
Kirishima swore, promised, and vowed he would protect you.
He was going to.
And when the gold dress was tied to your body, fitting you beautifully, Kirishima found himself unable to look away like strands of your hair framed your temples.
“What do you think, Kiri? Will I be on the Best Dressed List?” you asked, tearing Kirishima’s attention away from the bodice and skirt of the dress. Your eyes were bright, hopeful, yearning for a positive reaction from him.
“How could you not be?” Kirishima admitted, his grin toothy, and he shifted against the wall.
“You’ll make me blush,” you grin back, eyes batting just a bit as you clasp your hands together. It takes everything in Kirishima to keep from striding across the space between the two of you and kissing you silly. “Are we ready to go?”
Kirishima wet his lips, unwillingly tearing his gaze from you, and whispers into the intercom.
“Ready to move out?”
“We’re all clear.”
Straightening back up, Kirishima smiled at you, his head motioning towards the door.
“Alright, y/n, let’s see you make some history?”
“Damn right I will.”
Kirishima smiled as he exited first, carving the path for you.
Paparazzi were on you immediately, the lights flashing and terribly bright as he helped you through the throngs of them. His hand pressed to your back as they screamed demands, most of which you complied with until Kirishima stated that you would be late. You, unfortunately, couldn’t be late to the awards show.
Ushering you into the limousine, Kirishima follows in shortly after you, scrunching up in his seat as he sits opposite of you. However, your typical light and bright demeanor are gone; instead, you seem almost anxious as you open your handbag.
“You okay there?” Kirishima asks as he realizes you pulled out a distinctly obvious metal flask.
“Awards make me nervous,” you painfully admit; you're weakly smiling as you knock back a shot of the drink. “I hate winning and losing; the alcohol makes me less… of a wreck. Do you want some? I think it’s apple soju, I don’t know, a good luck gift from Kimiko.”
Kirishima grins, his eyes rolling as he decides to decline the drink. “Sorry, love, I think that I need to be completely sober for today.”
You scrunch your nose, obviously displeased, “Lame, who shows up to these awards sober?”
“Me,” Kirishima laughed, his head tilting back and scraping against the ceiling of the limousine.
“Such a prude, sober, pervert,” you sigh, taking yet another swig before putting the flask back into your bag.
“Such a brat.”
Just like every previous instance, your eyes seem to glow in glee at that name, your lips curling into a pleased smirk as you shrug. It's a sight that makes Kirishima’s mouth dry and heart racing. Fuck, he should not be thinking about fucking you in the limousine right now.
But before the heat in the limousine could simmer to one of undeniable boiling, you had arrived.
Kirishima cleared his throat, sending a quick wink your way as he exited the car first. The first stop was for him to join the lineup to guide you through all the different photo and interview sessions. No one wanted pictures of him emerging from the limo after all.
There's a moment where after Kirishima closes the door, your eyes filled with worry and excitement as he winked goodbye, that things changed. He stood up, his eyes already scanning the area for anything suspicious, when he saw the all too familiar van.
T082-23.
His eyes widened, his head looking around for anyone else, but there was no one to help. No one could do anything as the car continued to drive away, disappearing from Kirishima’s line of sight. His heart hammered in his chest, and his hands instinctively went to his thigh. He had his firearm… he had it.
With nothing but a quick report to the head of security via his com, Kirishima pushed on ahead, waiting for your descent down the red carpet.
When you eventually emerged from the limousine, Kirishima found that at this moment, the entire world faded away as a gloved hand assisted you out of the vehicle. You were elegant, stunning, a realistic vibrant portrait within his world of greys. As you took photos for the cameras, he was by your side a few strides away as you talked to reporters.
You really came to life right now.
You were beautiful.
“For all the pain in the world that she is, she’s quite charming from a distance, huh?” a voice spoke to his side, and Kirishima froze. His eyes widened completely when he noticed that standing beside him was none other than the lawyer.
The lawyer was dressed in a nice suit, glasses perched on his nose, and for the first time Kirishima had seen, the scowl was not quite so hard.
He was here.
Every warning bell sounded in Kirishima’s head.
This was the man he was so sure was the reason behind your every attack. A man fueled by insufficient funding, a need for a new contract that would never be approved without your signature.
“What are you doing here?” Kirishima asked, subtlety never being something he was ever good with. “I’ve never seen you anywhere except to argue with Y/n about contracts. This doesn’t seem like the appropriate time to be discussing it.”
“Kimiko wanted me to give her a new contract proposal to give to y/n. However, to be fair, it’s quite easy for anything to come down to an argument with y/n,” he shrugs, and Kirishima watches a cloud of emotions pass between the man’s eyes. “At least between her and me, we’ve never gotten along, but I suppose that’s how it is for any type of family who works together.”
Wait.
“What?! Family member?!”
“Yes, I know it’s strange to believe. I am quite ugly, and she is not, but we’re family.”
Kirishima’s mind was racing now. It didn’t make sense. If he was family, why would he be in such pursuit of potentially murdering you? If you were family, he was sure that you would help out? If he needed a raise like he thought, wouldn’t you have helped?
There was no way you wouldn’t.
Was he wrong?
Who was it?
“Kiri!” your voice broke into his mind and tore him back to reality. You waved at him, then passed a stuck-out tongue to the lawyer in a teasing fashion. “Let’s go in?”
Kirishima looked over at the lawyer who greeted a woman, who was also walking down the red carpet, a celebrity he could name no less, with a warm kiss.
Oh fuck.
He needed to call Kimiko; he was so very wrong.
You had won two awards so far, and at this very moment, Kirishima was being ushered back to his seat in the audience as you were being escorted to the main stage to perform your latest song. You had removed your gold dress for a black, sleek gown. Your lipstick changed to a dark red, and your hands trembled in the white lace gloves you wore.
“Oh, Kiri,” you wheezed almost, your hands shaking as the announcers on stage were announcing the last awards before your performance. “I’m getting nervous. What if I mess up or sing off-key? I’d be the laughing stock!”
Kirishima laughed gently, his hands easily encompassing your waist as he stilled your frantic moves. “Y/l/n y/n, if there is anything I know for sure about you is that you are one hell of a singer and a performer. The awards you’re nominated for tonight speak for themselves! You never fail at your performances, and even if you somehow manage to sing off-key, I’m sure that no one would notice! Your biggest fan in the world won’t notice, at least.”
Not more than seven days ago, when you had cried about the impending nerves of being an artist, Kirishima had come to claim the title of being your biggest fan in the world. It had made you chuckle through your tears before coming near a hysterical laugh as the two of you held each other close.
“You’re a nut, Kirishima Eijirou,” you laugh, hands resting on his lower ribs, but your smile was bright, warm. You paused a bit, fingers pulling at the fabric of his shirt. “I’ll sing just for you then, but I think I should take another swig of that soju.”
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
“Could you tell that Takeyama is completely drunk off her ass?”
“...she’s drunk?!”
“Exactly, I’ll be fine,” you breathe, taking a new smaller flask from the purse Kirishima was holding for you and taking the final swig. Your face contorts at the bitter liquid. “Ew, Kimiko really fucked me over with this one. Why is it blue?! Have you ever seen blue apple soju?!”
“No?” Kirishima startled, his eyes looking at the indeed splash of blue liquid tainting a small part of your gloves. “Who gave you that one? What happened with the other flask of yours?”
“Oh, Kimiko sent it along after I lost my other one; it’s her own flask,” you said before the backstage crew whisked you away to begin your set, and without you, Kirishima was sent to the audience.
Kirishima felt trapped as he was ushered into his seat, his eyes scanning the entire audience for something suspicious, a familiar face perhaps. His broad shoulders continued to bump into his neighbors, their disgruntled noises doing nothing to stop his worry.
“And now, Y/n,” came the strong voice of the male announcer, and the light dimmed.
Kirishima watched as the spotlight came down upon you, a golden halo of colors against your darkened gown as the instrumentals began to play in the background. And he saw you take a step forward, the building motifs suddenly silencing when you finally sang the first note.
Despite the panic arising in Kirishima, the unknown of who was behind it all, what was going to happen, he stilled at the unmatched strength and ambiance of your voice.
You sang as you did at every stage, to every audience.
There was a reason why you were considered a legend.
And then, with one last sound, one last melody, and your hand holding your microphone dropped. Your chest heaving, tears falling down your face, and the roar of the audience was silent. You looked through the audience, unable to see, but for some reason, you just knew where Kirishima was.
You smile.
But as the looming sounds begin to fill your ear again, you find that the world is hazy.
You swallow, eyes unfocused as you bowed, hurrying to leave the stage.
Kirishima watched as you took a final stumbling step off the stage, something he felt was going to be written off as you stepped on your dress. But his mind whirled.
The lawyer felt like a setup; the contracts made no sense, the blue soju.
How were they related?
What connected them?
“Oh, fuck,” Kirishima whispered, horrified, and immediately his finger pressed to his earpiece. “Find Y/n! Now!”
Kirishima was racing through the back of the venue, the announcers' voices still ringing through the dirty, bleak hallways. You had just won but was written off as being somewhere backstage; after all, the show must go on.
Voices screamed in his earpiece, each declining to have found you. No one had seen you after you stepped off the stage. No one knew who had taken you.
Kirishima noticed the doors closing at the end of the hallway, and with a dreading sense of doom, Kirishima removed the gun from his harness. And with the devil on his heels, he ran.
Kirishima panted as he looked before him.
You were passed out, draped limp, confused, and woozy against Kimiko’s body, and two men knocked unconscious beside them. To anyone else, it looked as if Kimiko had saved you, some guardian angel within this world, but if Kirishima’s gut meant anything, he knew better.
“Kirishima-san!’ Kimiko squeaked as Kirishima raised his gun, his body tense, unwilling to take a chance on her. “I don’t know what those two were doing! I was saving her, I swear!”
“Don’t do this, Kimiko,” Kirishima whispered, his head shaking. “I figured it out.”
There was a shift in Kimiko’s face at that; the scared unknowing hero melted into one of anger, resentment, one of someone who knew they had been outed.
“So, you figured it out,” she bitterly spoke, her arms that were supporting you from behind revealing to be a firearm of your own. “I didn’t expect you to.”
“I can’t say I figured out your reasoning; honestly, it doesn’t make sense to me, but I felt like it was you,” Kirishima carefully states, his heart roaring at the implied danger of the firearm against your chin. “Don’t do anything stupid, Kimiko.”
Kimiko stares, her lips forming a small o before changing into one of a large, near unattached grin.
“Anything stupid? If anyone is doing anything stupid, it's this selfish prick!” Kimiko spits, her arms tightening around you, making you whimper ever so gently in pain. “She thinks she’s so great, so rich, so smart! Just because she wastes most of her money on stupid shit like charity! Everyone thinks working for her is a dream, but they’re all blind idiots!”
Kirishima’s eyes widen as he notices the glazed, unfocused of your eyes as you shift your attention over to him. Were you listening?
“What’s wrong with the contract?” he asks, a small attempt to diffuse the situation.
“The fact she pays me next to nothing, and yet she works me half to death!”
“You have multiple clients, don’t you?” Kirishima splutters, unsure as to what was wrong. “Why is this one contract so important you wanted to frame her lawyer?!”
Kimiko laughs; it’s pitchy, almost hysterical as she bends over, your body slumping further onto the floor. “That was a lie! All a fucking lie! Do you know that I knew no one when I first started? Y/n is a name everyone wants. I don’t need to do anything to get her things! The world wants her! But the other clients? None of them stayed, none of them wanted me past a month! The salary was okay when she was a snot-nosed brat, but ten years later?! NO! She won’t fucking listen. She never fucking listens to anything but herself! So she has the option to give me the eighty percent, or fucking die here!”
Suddenly the gun in Kirishima’s hand feels like a ton, the skin on the back of his neck crawling and slicking with sweat.
“You know how much those charities mean to her,” Kirishima whispers. “She won’t do it.”
Kimiko trembles for a second, her arm holding the firearm lowering as she looks at the wall, shaking.
“Oh my god… you’re right,” Kimiko realizes, horror and uncertainty flashing across her face. “I guess… she has to die, oh my god, she has to die.”
At that moment, the world slowed down, and Kirishima swore he could see the atoms, the electricity flowing through the space between them. Kimiko’s arm holding the gun raising back up to your temple, her smile detached, horrific yet gleeful.
His body trembled as he doubted himself, his mind unsure if the finger on the trigger was going to be strong enough to fire away. Could he do it?
Was he ready?
Actually ready?
Save her, his past whispered.
Save her, his nightmares screamed.
Save her, his heart yelled.
Kirishima raised his arm, his focus blaring, his past just for a moment, forgotten.
BANG!
“The effects of the rohypnol have already worn out. Thankfully she wasn’t given a whole pill. If she experiences any nausea or throws up, please bring her back, should anything else happen, she’ll be okay.”
The words of the doctor rang in Kirishima’s ears. For tonight, they were going to be discharging you to him. Thankfully, it was all happening in Tokyo, so Kirishima’s apartment was near, and if Bakugou was true to his word, it was clean.
With the help of hospital security, he had managed to get your tuxedo concealed body into a car, and the two of you rode off to his apartment. You’ve been silent the entire time, eyes downcasted as you sit pressed to his side, feeling like a small child compared to him. You knew that he was much larger than you, a near two feet taller, but this felt unmatched.
Kirishima’s jacket was warm around you, it’s sheer largeness another dress on your body, and despite the horrific turn of events, you were feeling warm. You couldn’t remember much of what transpired after stumbling off stage, but you did remember Kirishima bursting through the doors, a look of anger and fear blistering off his person in such a way that made you whimper when you remembered.
You remembered the onsen basically every night, cursing your stupid makeup team for interrupting a night that definitely would have ended with you fucking Kirishima. You cursed yourself for being a coward and not just saying fuck it and fucking him afterward despite the brief awkwardness.
He wanted you, it was clear as day, and you wanted him as well.
Tonight.
“Sorry about how small my apartment is, or if it’s messy, I don’t actually know if my friends have been keeping up with it,” Kirishima apologized, guiding you into the apartment by the small of your back. “You’ll be safe here tonight, and I promise we can get back to your own place tomorrow!”
“Oh, don’t apologize, it’s okay,” you smile, feeling flushed as you cross the entryway to the apartment. His apartment, despite not being home in so long, is clean. The halls aren’t messy, and a hint of lavender is saturated to the air. The dim hallway lights were barely bright enough to cause you to squint as it was dark out. “Thank you for having me tonight, especially after everything.”
At the hospital, you had been given a pair of sweats and a cotton t-shirt. The change in outfit from your event dress was definitely needed, and even though you were sure your makeup was streaked down your face, you felt good hidden in the depths of Kirishima’s jacket.
“Are you hungry?” Kirishima asked, handing over his guest slippers, which you gratefully accepted. “I might have some microwaveable food leftover.”
“Ramen doesn’t sound too bad,” you admit as Kirishima unbuttons the first few buttons on his white dress shirt. You were instantly captivated by the movement, your eyes shifting back to his face when he began to walk off towards the kitchen.
Kirishima talked warmly, keeping the conversation going merrily and bright throughout the entire time in the kitchen. He undoubtedly knew you weren’t entirely okay, and at moments like this, you were entirely grateful for his sweet personality.
To be fair, you knew that you had been quite unfair to Kirishima in the beginning. Looking back at the first entire month of knowing him, you were horrified and impressed that Kirishima didn’t demand to be dropped. You had been selfish, stubborn, a bottom line brat, and he took it day after day. It wasn’t that you disliked him back then; hell, you had been in a near state of delirium when he entered the door during your first meeting because you had no idea such huge men existed to the caliber of his hotness.
But you resisted and might have been harsher than needed.
It was okay now; after all, if he was genuinely bitter about that entire month still, the onsen said otherwise.
It didn’t take long for your stomach to be filled with warm broth, soft boiled eggs, and ramen noodles. Kirishima did, in fact, have ramen, fresh eggs, and some vegetables. In a grand act of preparing you the most sufficient dinner he could, Kirishima presented this under budget ramen and laughed when you said it was terrific.
But it was growing late.
The two of you still sat at his table that was full of a card game, your empty ramen bowls, and cups of water. The clock on the oven read 23:38, and the city lights were slowly dying.
“Are you ready for bed?” Kirishima eventually asked you.
You looked up from your joined hands; your fingers had been playing with his thick and long fingers for some time now. The apartment grew steadily quieter as you studied and attempted to memorize each callous and scar on his hands. They were definitely marked and nicked, the sign of the warrior he once was.
“Depends on the bed,” you tease, lips rising into a small smile as you compare your much tinier hands than his. Your fingertips barely passed the edge of his palm. “What does a big guy like you sleep in? A twin? Tatami mat?”
Kirishima laughed, his hands twisting in yours, wrapping it around so that he raised your hands up to press a kiss to the center of your palms.
“A futon, brat,” Kirishima explained, his smile small but sharp with his humor. “Let’s get you to bed?”
You frown.
“Where will you be sleeping then?”
“My couch is just fine.”
“I’m sure your stuffing in a trash bag had holes in it.”
“That’s okay,” Kirishima laughed, standing up and quickly taking you to your feet as well. “It’s just for a night, I’ll live.”
Your face warmed immediately as he guided you down the hallway of his apartment before finally coming into what was definitely his room.
Kirishima’s scent was faint in this room, cinnamon, wood, and warm spices. It made your eyes flutter as you observed his room from the entryway as he began to set up the room.
His eye for interior decoration was quite… different. You smiled brightly as you glanced around; the diverse and rather boyish decorations around the room warmed your heart. It seemed exactly like what you would think of for Kirishima.
“Well, that’s all!” Kirishima exclaimed, his hands landing on his hips in triumph as he looked around. “The bathroom is the next door over, and I’ll leave a toothbrush out for you. I also left out a new t-shirt of mine if you want to change!”
You nod some more, watching as Kirishima seems unsure of what to do next. He looks around, coughs a bit before nodding.
“Okay, I’ll be leaving—”
“Um, can we talk?” you interrupt, arms wrapping around your body. “I have some things I want to say.”
“Oh, sure!”
“You can sit,” you say, motioning toward the bed. “I have a few things to get off my chest.”
Kirishima pauses for a bit, his eyes looking you over before he eventually nods, and he sits down. The bed slightly creaks under his weight, and you feel your body warm-up at the sound. You want to hear the bed creak more, to rock under the weight of you and him pressed against the sheets as you cried his name.
“What is it?” he asks gently, observing you.
“I just…” you huff, words failing you, your tongue feeling heavy. “I wanted to say thank you for saving me.”
“It was my job to do that,” Kirishima smiled warmly, his arms crossing again.
He was relaxed.
“I mean, I can’t even begin to believe that it was Kimiko who was behind all that, even though we know it was… I know it was,” you trail off, shivering slightly as you remember your ex-managers demented laugh in your ear. “I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.”
“Nothing would’ve happened to you,” Kirishima spoke with finality. “I promised to myself at the first meeting I was going to protect you, hell the entire world would. You’re not going to be taken down by pathetic people like that, not you.”
“Really?”
“One hundred percent.”
“I feel like I should repay you in some way, though,” you rub the back of your neck, eyes fluttering just the slightest bit flirtatious. Kirishima looked at you with full mooned eyes, his arms unfolding and his palms resting onto the bedspread.
“You repay me plenty already,” came his whispered answer, so quiet, so pure you almost smiled. “You don’t have to do anything.”
Your tongue pushes past your lip, wetting the drying skin as you take a step toward him. The shoulders of the jacket slowly fall from your own shoulders, pooling just above your elbows as you stop before him, hands resting daintily on his broad shoulders.
“And what if I want something?” you ask, finding yourself stemming with energy as his legs part, allowing you closer access to him.
You step in closer and closer until your outer thighs are ghosting against the inner part of his.
“I think it’s in our contract for me to do everything that you request if I remember correctly,” Kirishima whispers, his bright clear red eyes turning a burnt shade: dark and ever consuming.
“And if I want you to finish what you started over at the onsen?” you press, fingers curling against the muscles of his shoulders before locking behind his neck.
His nose was brushing against yours, cold yet burning against your own skin.
“I’ll gladly show you what I wanted to do that night,” he grunts, eyes deadly, and for the first time, his hands held your waist.
You took a second to recover, your skin sparking with the electricity of his touch, and you suppressed a shiver as you opened your eyes.
“Do it,” you cement your fates, “coward.”
And just like that, in a movement so euphoric, Kirishima’s mouth crashed against yours.
His mouth was hot, dangerous against yours -- a live wire sparking with uncontrollable energy and heat as your mouths danced. Hot puffs of air were passed between your mouths, your fingers shaking with an undeniable release of tension and want.
The kiss was sloppy, desperate, so needy with unspoken frantic determination to fuck each other until the other could no longer move.
Kirishima’s hand removed the jacket from your arms, letting the expensive material fall onto the floor with a heavy thud. Despite the lack of warmth the clothing provided, the feeling of Kirishima’s hands rubbing against your bare arms sent your mind spiraling.
“Get on the bed,” Kirishima commands against your mouth. “Let me fuck you.”
The words were nearly embarrassingly desperate, but the tone of his voice spoke of the absolute domination he wished to assert on you. He wanted you in one exact way, and you had a feeling you knew what it was. But if he had been paying attention, Kirishima should already know that getting you to listen was not easy.
“No,” you grin against his mouth.
Kirishima pulls away instantly, his lips red and swollen as he replays your word in his head. He looks frazzled, absolutely delirious already at the simple, passion-filled makeout. As soon as his eyes clear away the fog, your grin drops, and instead, you look at him with fierce determination and defiance.
“No?” he repeats.
“No,” you confirm.
Your chest feels light, your head spinning as the hands on your waist tighten, and his eyes flash dangerously. The tip of his tongue pushes past his lips before quickly disappearing again.
“Of course, you’re a brat in bed too, such a fucking princess,” Kirishima shakes his head, but his mouth curving into a shark-like grin.
Menacing, promising, sending chilling shivers down your spine.
The world spins faster than you can keep up, your mouth opening to shriek as Kirishima easily lifts you up, and has you lying against his lap.
“I’m going to let you in on a little secret, princess,” Kirishima begins, his large fingers hooking into the waistband of the sweats you have on and the panties you’re wearing. “My princess gets rewards for being good. If she can behave properly, she gets to be fucked with dick, her pussy gets to be fucked just the way she pleases.”
You can’t help but stifle a moan that threatens to spill out with his words and the way his hands move down the curve of your ass, exposing the naked skin to him. The waistband of both your panties and sweats stay high up your thighs, and it’s almost embarrassing to know you’re still so clothed despite what’s to come.
“And just what does the Sergeant do to bad girls?” you ask, unable to keep your tongue down, your hips rolling against his lap in undeserved friction.
Unexpectedly, abruptly, a hand comes down harshly onto your bare ass.
The contact is rough, stinging against your ass as you cry out in slight pain.
The hand not currently rubbing a warning circle into your ass twists the hair at the top of your head, lifting your head up so that your ear could near his mouth.
“Bad girls get punishments. They get what I want to give them. Nothing more, nothing less.”
“Holy shit,” you whimper, heat flaring between your thighs at the thought of Kirishima doing anything to you regardless of if you were good or bad. You rut your ass back against his hand, longing for a heavier touch, a plea for something more.
“What does the princess want?”
“Nothing,” you bite, and the crashing smack of another spank has you moaning loudly at the stinging pleasure-filled pain.
“You moaning like a whore at a simple spank says otherwise,” Kirishima chuckles darkly, his fingers pinching your stinging ass as your body bucks against him. He spanks you again, again, and again. Each slap is intentful, powerful, wanting to get you to admit what you want, and you cry against your hands each time, your eyes fluttering as the pain feels good.
“Of course, a slut like you would be getting off on this,” Kirishima seems amused, his thick finger pressing to the slit of your cunt, spreading your dripping essence against your cunt. He presses against your entrance with just the tip of his finger, and you shriek in a sound for more, your hips jerking backward to get his finger into you, to fuck you with those thick fingers to do something about the growing desperate heat.
“Kirishima!” you scream, your body sweating and twisting on his lap, desperate to find some way to get him to finger fuck you.
“Ah, there we go,” he sighs in delight as his fingers swirl at your entrance, increasing the teasing and making your mind spin. “Tell me what you want, brat.”
“You!” you wail, two of his fingers carting between your wet, sloppy heated lips. They graze your clit, stimulating you further as you can do nothing but instinctively jerk against his hold, trying to get him to give you the needed pleasure to build up to an orgasm. “I want you to fuck me so good! Please, Sergeant, please, I want you to fuck me until I can’t remember anything but your name.”
“But you haven’t proven to be a good princess,” Kirishima tuts, his hands disappearing from your pussy despite your crying pleas. His hand grabs your ass, though, massaging the abused skin, grasping it tightly.
You moan, embarrassed at the sensation of his massive hand easily cupping your ass cheek, your fingers fisting into the fabric of his pants as you shake your head.
“Are you going to prove that you’re good?” he asks you, his tone like that of a parent chastising a child. “Gonna prove to me that you can be good?”
You shake pathetically against his legs, but you can’t keep yourself from shaking your head. You can’t prove to him that you would be.
“I can’t!” you whimper loudly, your body twisting on his lap to look up at him, your eyes filled with tears and pleading need. Kirishima looked down at you with lust filled eyes and an undeniable need to be followed.
“You can’t?” he repeats, his head tilting, eyes narrowing, and his fingers dug into your ass. “Or you won’t?”
You tremble on top of him, unable to answer because you weren’t ready to hand over the reins just yet. You didn’t want to submit so fast, you wanted to make his own head dizzy with need but the stubbornness to continue punishing you the way he was promising.
“I won’t,” you gasp, eyes fluttering at the way he finally drops your head.
You gasp loudly as you find him shoving you off his lap, and with your panties and sweats sitting so awkwardly high on your legs, you find yourself tumbling off his lap and onto the floor.
“Guess if you don’t want to behave, I’ll treat you like some fucking pussy pocket and dispose of you once I’m done,” Kirishima easily breathes, and you look up at the now standing man as he tears his shirt off.
Your mouth waters, your cunt throbbing at the sight of the rippling muscles and dark lines of his tattoos on his upper body. You watch fascinated, like one does to a masterpiece, as he undresses until he’s in nothing but his socks. And at the sight of his dick, you can feel at once all the blood in your flushed face drop directly into your throbbing cunt.
He was fucking enormous, his girth barely fitting into his hand, and the angry red head spilled its precum against his abs. A black happy trail connecting Kirishima’s abs to his vein throbbing cock.
Holy fuck, he could quickly kill you with that.
Kirishima doesn’t ask any questions as he watches your awkwardly dressed state of a body on the floor. His head is tilted upwards, a small pleased smile on his face as he looks down on you, his hand slowly, leisurely fisting his cock as you can do nothing but stare.
You make some insane noise at the back of your throat at this sight, your thighs trembling with need, and you're pushing off your side, your ass burning, and your balance off as you open your mouth, offering all you could to him.
And thankfully, Kirishima allows it.
He’s much too tall for you to suck him off on your knees, so he sits back down onto the bed, letting you scamper between his legs, mouth open wide like some needy pet.
“Such a good little slut,” Kirishima sighs, sinking his cock into your wet, hot mouth. “Such a fucking cockwhore, all it took was a single glance for you to lose your will.”
You whine against his dick, your jaw tight with the stretch, your tongue lapping so desperately around the cock that was no more than halfway in yet couldn’t go in any further.
“Suck me right, and I’ll reward you by fucking that pretty little pussy of yours,” Kirishima grunts, his fingers pressing into the side of your neck as he ruts his hips up into your mouth, shoving his cock even further into your mouth. “And don’t you dare look away from me while you suck me off.”
It feels like fire.
His cock driving down your throat hurts, the taste of his salty pre-cum slathering all over your tongue and dripping out of your mouth with the saliva you can’t control. His cock hits the back of your throat, and you continue to bob your head, continue to fuck him with your throat as animalistic, praiseworthy noises begin spilling from Kirishima’s mouth.
You whimper at the sight of his head dipping back, and you nearly whine when he shoves the fingers he had gathered your juices on into his mouth. He moans at the contact and with his pleasure with your actions so obvious as you choke against his girth. That was hot, holy fuck, you wanted him to fuck you, please fuck you.
Your eyes close as he begins to fuck faster into your mouth, his delight in hearing you choke around him his driving force. Tears start pouring from your eyes despite your best efforts, your throat and inner thighs burning with lust and need as Kirishima groans, his cock twitching deep in your throat.
Slap!
“Hey!”
Slap!
You gag harshly as your cheeks sting with his heavy slap, your teeth grazing underneath his cock, right against a thick, twisting vein.
“Did I tell you to close your eyes?” Kirishima practically growls, his hands grasping the back of your neck, the other one slapping you across the face yet again. “No. I said… fuck… I said, keep your eyes on me!”
Tears weep down your face, your eyes struggling to keep focus on him as he continued to fuck deep and intensely into your mouth, shoving himself further into you until you could feel his thighs grazing your chin. Oxygen wasn’t flowing anymore; your gags and chokes the only time the burning element could manage to flow through you, but Kirishima doesn’t seem to care. He seems to delight in the way you are, despite it all, are moaning and looking at him in a pleading way for more.
More, you plead.
And he delivers.
Kirishima pulls his still hard, not yet cummed, dick out of your mouth and stands.
You splutter with the sudden intake of oxygen to your lungs, burning you from the inside out as you splutter on the ground.
“W-What’s going on?” you hoarsely stammer, your jaw and throat aching from its prolonged abuse. “E-Ei?”
However, Kirishima seems dead set on getting you naked, and you squeal in flustered excitement as he rips the shirt off of you and his mouth pressing against yours again. His mouth crashes against yours, and you moan into his mouth immediately.
His tongue curls into your mouth and your tongues press and rub against each other. Each passing second growing more desperate, needier, more intense as your clothes are ripped one by one off your body.
“Holy fuck, I’ve wanted you for so long,” Kirishima nearly whines, his mouth trailing down your neck, biting and sucking against every centimeter of skin he passed. “Wanted to fuck you against the wall, in my bed, and now I get to do that.”
“Please, please, fuck me, please,” you beg, your voice bordering a wail as your arms wrap around his neck, letting him lift you up off the floor. Despite you being so much smaller than him that when he held you to him, your cunt wasn’t pressed to his angry leaking cock, you continued to desperately roll your hips against his abs, the friction welcomed and easing the building pressure. It was an action conveying just what you wanted. “I need you in me, Sergeant!”
“Just cuz… holy fuck,” Kirishima breathes ragged, his body twisting around, and you cried when the cold sheets pressed into your back. “Imma fuck you, Imma… god, just fucking watch.”
Your head thrashed back onto the pillow as Kirishima’s teeth sunk into your collarbone, then captured your sensitive nipples, his fingers dancing against your clit and teasing your center.
“Now!” you cry, fingers digging into his shoulder. “Put it in!”
This time, Kirishima didn’t need to be told twice.
His larger body was suddenly pressed entirely against yours, dwarfing you immediately as your arms wrapped around his back as his cock slammed into you. You screamed at the sudden intrusion, your pussy stretched beyond its typical limits by his girth, his size, his power.
Your cunt throbbed around him, your face buried within his pecs as you, despite the searing pain, shove your hips up towards him. Fucking into him, sucking him further into you.
“Holy shit,” Kirishima groans, “you’re amazing.”
“Talk less, fuck me more!” you screech, your body spasming, twitching so hard from the splitting pleasure and the lava pit in your stomach, and Kirishima does that exactly.
His hips begin to meet yours in equaled power, slamming into you so that the bed creaked beneath you. He fucked you until he had to hold a hand on your hip so you could stay there, and you kept a hand on the wall to continue to push yourself down onto his cock.
You screamed with pleasure, cried for more, Kirishima’s shark-like smirk getting bolder, darker, hotter with every slam of his hips until his tattooed right arm shot down. His hand wrapped around your throat, choking you.
“You’re so loud, princess,” Kirishima moans, clearly liking your loud noises, “but you’re going to wake everyone in Tokyo.”
His hand around your throat is enough to have your legs trembling around his waist, your choked and muffled moans and splutters drowning out even more as he pressed a kiss onto you. He kissed you, licking your mouth, and devouring your every word and thought. Your core twisted, tightened, and burned. It throbbed and clenched with it’s impending orgasm, and your body began to tense to the heavens as his cock throbbed deep within you.
“Who saved you?”
“E-Ei did,” you garble.
“Who’s fucking you?”
“E-Ei is!”
“Who’s going to fucking cum when I tell her to?”
“Me! Fuck, me!”
Kirishima laughs, his arms wrapping around your waist, and in one final, fleeting burst of strength, fucks into you with his own power, needs, and desire, and you can only take it. “Cum, princess,” he whispered almost sweetly against the top of your head, and it was all over. Your teeth sink into his chest as you scream, a blinding white light erupting through your vision as you cum around his cock.
Kirishima whimpers, his cock still pushing deep into your cunt, until you can feel the warm spill of his seed in your womb.
He collapses to the side of you, taking you with him so that you were resting on his sweaty chest.
“Holy shit,” Kirishima whispered after a bit, your body already warm and too lethargic to notice the star-like tone to his voice. “That was fucking… holy shit.”
“Does this mean you like me?” you half tease, half wonder.
There’s a pause, a silence, and you wonder if maybe he had fallen asleep.
But he didn’t.
“I’ve been in love with you for some time now, I think,” he admits, his hand beginning to rub small circles into your back.
You find that despite the exhaustion, warmth floods your cheeks.
“Oh?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, I guess we’re going to have to discuss a more… permanent and maybe different contract tomorrow morning, huh?”
Kirishima chuckles, and you find yourself smiling into his chest.
“I think we do.”
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Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder | Chapter 4
Pairing: fratboy!mingyu x female reader
Word Count: 6.5k
Synopsis: When you transferred to a different university, you and Wonwoo promised that you would make long distance work. But distance proves to be more difficult than you both originally thought.
This Chapter’s Tags: cheating obviously, some angst and fluff, public teasing, unprotected sex (oops), light degradation/impact play/begging, use of restraints, brief face sitting, shit just goes down in general just wait
Warning: THIS SERIES IS ABOUT CHEATING. DO NOT READ IF IT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE!
A/N: hey... how y’all doing... yeah I disappeared... but I’m back! The past two months were a mess but I’m ready to come back now and I’m v excited. Pls accept this chapter as a token of my forgiveness </3 Feedback is appreciated as always :) AND THANK U FOR 100 FOLLOWERS!!! :D
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The ride home was quiet.
Jisoo had drank a little too much, and it was evident by the way she laid her head upon your shoulder and mumbled slurred gibberish against your skin.
You opted to ignore her drunken antics, and instead just wrapped your arm around her shoulder while training your eyes on the darkness outside the front window.
Only when Jisoo trudged over to her bed after taking off her makeup and changing her clothes did she seem to have sobered up. She sprawled across her mattress, her face pressed into the blankets, before she turned and gazed at you. You were laying on your own bed, fidgeting with the hem of your shirt as you stared up at the ceiling.
Finally, Jisoo spoke a coherent sentence.
"Where did you go?" She asked. "At the party," she added a moment later.
You hesitated for a second.
"Wonwoo called me so I went to the bathroom. And then we fought because he was pissed that I went to a party without telling him." You explained. It wasn't a lie; that was what happened, before Mingyu showed up of course.
Jisoo sat up quickly in her bed, crossing her legs like a child listening intently to a teacher. She placed a hand under her chin and narrowed her eyes at you.
"You fought..." She started but trailed off. "Is that why you went off with Mingyu?" She questioned.
You stopped toying with the fabric of your shirt, completely frozen in place at the accusation.
"What?" You responded, your mouth suddenly dry. You sat up in your own bed now, staring at her with wide eyes.
"Come on, I'm not stupid." Jisoo rolled her eyes. "I saw you and Mingyu going upstairs. And then a minute later some guy comes in screaming about how he found Mingyu and some girl fucking in the bathroom. It wasn't hard to put two and two together."
You were horrified. It felt as if a hard punch had been delivered to your gut and a million wasps stung your skin at once. You could barely catch your breath.
"Wha- Does everyone know?" You cried, not even attempting to cover up that you had sex with Mingyu; Jisoo had already figured it out, and there was no way you could ever convince her otherwise.
Jisoo shook her head. "No, I only knew cause I saw you with him. And I didn't say anything to anyone." She reassured you.
You didn't say anything else. Hell, you couldn't even think of anything to say. You threw yourself back against the bed, covering your face with your hands. Embarrassment ate away at you.
Jisoo watched you in your distressed state, and she almost felt inclined to apologize. She shook away the thought and asked: "What are you gonna do?"
You peeled your hands off your face and sighed. You felt like crying again. You hated it; you were so sick of crying.
"What am I supposed to do?" You responded. "I don't even know what I'm doing anymore."
Jisoo chewed on her bottom lip as she thought for a moment. "Well... do you still wanna be with Wonwoo?"
"Yes," you said quickly. "I still love him. And I miss him a lot. But I just... things have been really bad lately."
Jisoo finally laid back down, mimicking you by staring at the ceiling. "You're gonna have to talk things out with him then. Be honest. Stop seeing Mingyu." She sighed. "That's what I would do."
You knew that Jisoo was right. But the thought of cutting off Mingyu left a sour taste in your mouth. You liked him a lot, as a person, and it felt unfair to just ditch him after the times he was there to comfort you.
But this was all so much more unfair to Wonwoo.
"Are you sure... that you wanna stay with Wonwoo?" Jisoo added in response to your silence.
Were you sure?
You said that you loved him: You loved the Wonwoo that took you to the cafe near campus and bought you your favorite latte; the Wonwoo that spent hours in bed with you binge-watching dumb cartoons; the Wonwoo that stayed up late with you on weekends to help you study for your exams.
He was still that same person. Things were just different now that you were far apart and couldn't be in each other's presence anymore.
Right?
Would the Wonwoo from a year ago have ignored your texts and angrily hung up on you?
How could this all possibly be to blame on some distance?
Jisoo took your silence as an answer and cleared her throat to regain your attention. She shifted onto her side to look at you, and you turned your head to meet her eyes.
"Look, I don't think you're a bad person, okay? I think you just made some mistakes." She said. "I know you care a lot about him, but long distance doesn't work for everyone."
You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to stop them from watering.
"Just think about it, okay? I don't want you or other people getting hurt." Jisoo said. She rolled onto her other side, her back now facing you. "Goodnight. Don't stay up too late."
"Goodnight," you finally responded. Your voice was hoarse and weak.
You swallowed, and then reached for your phone.
You: that guy from the bathroom told everyone about you Sent at 12:48 AM
To your surprise, Mingyu responded quickly.
Mingyu: oh I know Sent at 12:48 AM
Mingyu: don't worry I already put him in his place Sent at 12:48 AM
You giggled quietly to yourself as you typed a response.
You: should I be scared for him? Sent at 12:49 AM
Mingyu: nah he'll live Sent at 12:49 AM
Mingyu: goodnight Y/N Sent at 12:49 AM
Mingyu: sweet dreams :) Sent at 12:50 AM
Just as you finished typing a reply, quiet vibrating sounded from Jisoo's side of the room.
She stirred in her light state of sleep, feeling around her bed and eventually pulling her phone out from under her pillow. "Hello?" She said, hints of tiredness evident in her voice.
You wondered who could possibly be calling her right now. You guessed it was Seungcheol, but once Jisoo shot up in her bed alarmingly fast you began to doubt yourself.
"What?" She cried. "Is he okay?"
You sat up yourself now, watching her with concern as she turned on the light and began rummaging through her closet.
"I'm leaving right now. No, I'll be fine. I'll text you." She said as she pulled a backpack out and began wildly shoving items into it.
"What? Where are you going? What's going on?" You questioned once she hung up.
"My dad's in the hospital. Had a stroke or a heart attack or something, I don't know." Jisoo rambled without looking at you. She ran over to the bathroom with her bag in hand. "I'm going home for a few days." She explained from the other room.
When she walked back into the room, her backpack was slung over her shoulders and her eyes were shiny with tears.
"I hope he's okay. Please be safe." You responded, though it just made you feel useless.
"Thank you," she said, looking at you with saddened eyes before turning towards the door. "I'll see you soon." She called over her shoulder before stepping out of the room and shutting the door behind her.
Then you were left alone, with nothing but the dark room and the thoughts that weighed on your conscience.
You found it difficult to fall asleep that night.
When you walked into class on Tuesday, Mingyu looked different.
His hair was pushed back in his signature style and he wore his usual plain shirt and jeans, but something about him was changed. His chest seemed to be lifted with a newfound confidence.
He gave you a small smile when you approached him, and you swore you noticed his eyes graze over your figure, but you sat down without saying anything. You adjusted your skirt as you settled into your seat and pulled out your phone.
You anxiously checked your notifications, waiting for Wonwoo's name to appear, but there was still no answer.
You finally had sent him a text this morning saying that you needed to talk to him. You had spent the past few days thinking about what Jisoo said, and it was difficult to admit, but she was right.
Now it was just a waiting game until Wonwoo was ready to talk.
A notification caused your phone to buzz, and you perked up as you thought it might be Wonwoo, but instead it was a text from Mingyu.
You glanced over at him with your brows furrowed, and he just stared ahead, biting his lip to suppress a smirk. You opened the message.
Mingyu: you look good Sent at 10:05 AM
Your skin flushed at the compliment, and you quickly typed a reply.
You: you couldn't have said that to me in person? Sent at 10:06 AM
His own phone vibrated against the desk with your response. He picked it up nonchalantly, huffing out a quiet laugh.
Mingyu: well the reason I didn't say it out loud Sent at 10:06 AM
Mingyu: is cause I also wanted to say that I keep thinking about last weekend Sent at 10:06 AM
Mingyu: when your thighs were shaking Sent at 10:06 AM
Mingyu: seeing you in that skirt reminded me of it Sent at 10:07 AM
You impulsively pressed your thighs together, your eyes widening and your lips flattening into a line as each message showed up on your screen.
You: you really think this is the time and place to be saying that? Sent at 10:07 AM
You: calm down you're acting like a douchey frat boy Sent at 10:07 AM
You smiled to yourself at your teasing reply, and you heard Mingyu quietly chuckle.
Mingyu: wowwwww Sent at 10:07 AM
Mingyu: don't act like you don't like it Sent at 10:08 AM
Mingyu: I see you rubbing your thighs together over there Sent at 10:08 AM
You felt your face burn up as you realized he could see the effect he had on you. You didn't respond, letting him continue on.
Mingyu: I know you're a bad girl Y/N Sent at 10:08 AM
Mingyu: you liked it when I spanked you Sent at 10:08 AM
Mingyu: bet you'd like it if I touched you here right now Sent at 10:09 AM
You clicked your phone off quickly, setting it down against the desk. Your face was red, and you cleared your throat, trying to focus as the professor finally entered the room.
You kept your gaze locked on the front of the room, but you could still see Mingyu shifting closer to you out of the corner of your eye.
Just as the professor began talking, fingers brushed against your thigh and began toying with the hem of your skirt. You swallowed thickly, cursing yourself for the growing arousal between your legs.
Mingyu turned his head slightly towards you. "Don't react," he whispered. He turned his attention back to the front of the room, but his hand remained on your thigh, now softly squeezing the flesh between his fingers.
You inhaled a shaky breath, nervously glancing around the room. Luckily, you and Mingyu sat at the edge of the back row; the only other people in your row sat further down and to the left of Mingyu. His body and the desk most likely concealed everything that he was doing to you, but you were still fearful of getting caught.
His hand trailed upwards, slipping underneath your skirt. His fingers pressed into your inner thigh and you bit your lip. He stared forward, his face blank, as if nothing was happening.
His hand brushed against your core, and you inhaled sharply. The corner of his lip quirked up at the sound. Then he pressed his fingers against your clit through the fabric of your underwear.
Your thighs squeezed shut around his hand instinctively, and Mingyu tsked quietly before pushing your legs apart again. He began rubbing slow circles through the fabric, your arousal soaking through. Your stomach was twisting into a tighter knot with each moment that passed.
Then Mingyu suddenly slipped his fingers beneath your underwear, pressing into your bare folds. You gasped quietly and quickly grabbed hold of his wrist.
"Stop," you muttered, your voice full of alarm. Mingyu pulled his hand away, and you clenched as you were left with nothing, but you let out a relieved sigh. You were panting quietly, and he glanced at you with worry in his eyes as he wiped his hand on his pants.
You pulled out your phone and quickly texted him.
You: we can't do that here Sent at 10:14 AM
Mingyu: I'm sorry Sent at 10:14 AM
You glanced at him, and he looked back at you. You nodded as if to say "it's okay" and chewed on your bottom lip as you contemplated sending your next message.
You: come over tonight Sent at 10:15 AM
Mingyu's tongue darted out to lick his lips and he turned his head towards you. His lips were upturned into a smirk as he gave you an affirming nod.
Time seemed to crawl during the rest of your classes for the day; you were anticipating Wonwoo's response and running over in your mind what you were planning on doing with Mingyu later.
As evening approached, a large hole formed in the pit in your stomach. Wonwoo still had yet to respond, which left a bitter taste in your mouth; you guessed he still wasn't done giving you the silent treatment.
You almost texted Mingyu a few times to tell him not to come over, but each time, you thought about his hand slipping beneath your skirt in class and erased your message.
You were only okay with this because Jisoo was still gone, but also, the thought of inviting a guy over to have sex while your roommate was visiting her dad in the hospital made you feel guilty. And gross. When did you become so desperate for some dick?
It was around 10 PM now, and you were pacing around your room while waiting for Mingyu to show up. You had changed out of your skirt, now wearing shorts and a crewneck instead.
A knock at the door startled you, and then your stomach dropped. You were really doing this again. You twisted the knob with hands that trembled softly and opened the door.
Mingyu stood on the other side, and you quickly observed his appearance as he stepped into the room. He also had changed his clothes from earlier. Now he was wearing sweatpants and a zip-up over a t-shirt that hugged his chest nicely. His hair was a bit messier, too.
"Hi," you exhaled.
Mingyu stood tall over you, making you feel small and nervous. You fidgeted with your hands as you stared up at him.
"Hey," he replied, licking his lips as he scanned your face.
You hesitated. "Um... do you wanna watch a movie or something?" Internally, you cursed yourself for being so stiff and awkward. But Mingyu's lips turned up into a small smirk and he agreed.
A moment later, his body laid next to yours on the bed while you picked out some random movie on Netflix. Once it started, the rapid beating of your heart didn't allow you to pay attention to the laptop screen; it was so intense you were afraid that Mingyu could feel it.
You were also hyperaware of the sensation of his body lying next to yours. The warmth of his body radiated onto you and the soft fabric of his clothing felt like a blanket against your bare skin.
"Are you even paying attention?" He asked suddenly, causing you jump slightly.
You cleared your throat. "Y-yeah."
"You seem so tense," he teased. He placed his hand on your thigh and lightly squeezed. You inhaled shakily, keeping your eyes on the screen. "Is something on your mind?"
"No," you gulped.
"Don't lie to me, Y/N." He said with a hushed voice into your ear. "I know what you invited me here for."
His face was so close that his nose was brushing against the side of your face while he spoke. Your stomach was in a tight knot now, and somehow your heart was beating even faster than before.
"You were so wet when I was touching you today." He continued to tease, lightly biting your ear. The hand that rested on your thigh moved up, his fingers brushing against your clit. "I knew you'd like that. You're dirty, aren't you?"
He pressed his fingers to your clit through your shorts as he asked the question. You whined softly, your hips jerking up at the stimulation. Finally, you turned your head towards him, pressing your lips to his in a rough kiss.
Mingyu bit at your bottom lip while he kissed you, and then pulled away after a moment to glance at the laptop that was still playing the movie. "You're not watching this, right?" He joked before shutting it and placing it on the floor.
He hovered over you now, his body caged between your legs, and went back to kissing you, this time with his tongue slipping past your lips. You moaned against his mouth softly as he pressed his warm body against yours.
He pulled away for a moment, making eye contact with you as he asked: "You sure you wanna do this?" He ran his hand down your side reassuringly as he awaited your reply. "We don't have to." He added before pressing a soft kiss to your cheek.
The sudden shift in his demeanor left you stunned for a moment; you quickly nodded before you could hesitate. "Yes, Mingyu." The hands that rested on the back of his neck pulled him closer to you, connecting your lips once again.
His hands began to tug the bottom of your shirt up, and the feeling of his fingers brushing against your stomach left small goosebumps across your skin.
Soon, clothes were discarded about the room, leaving you in only your bra and underwear and Mingyu in his sweats. His bare chest pressed against yours as he sucked and nibbled on the skin of your neck. You let out a soft moan, not even caring about the bruises that would later appear.
Mingyu lifted his face from your neck suddenly, mumbling against your cheek with a small smile on his face: "Can I try something with you?"
You stared at him, eyes wide with curiosity, and he grinned. His eyes seemed to flash with something that resembled insecurity before he finally admitted: "I wanna tie your hands."
You felt a gush of arousal between your legs at the thought—the thought of being teased with the inability to touch his skin. You nodded in approval. The corner of his lip twitched up at your receptiveness, and he glanced over his shoulder before grabbing one of your belts off the floor.
He secured it around your wrists before pushing them above your head, and just as he was about to continue leaving kisses across your body, you spoke. "Mingyu?"
His eyes widened as they rapidly scanned your face for signs of discomfort. "Do you not like it? Should I take it off?"
You snickered at how worried he was before asking: "Can you make it tighter?"
Relief flooded over Mingyu, and then he chuckled softly in disbelief. "Anything for you, sweets," he joked while adjusting the restraints around your wrists. You laughed, and the previous anxiety left your body.
Your wrists were bound tighter now, giving Mingyu full control, and his hands squeezed your waist as he placed a kiss on your chest. "I can't believe you," he said. "Acting so innocent when you're really a little whore for me."
His vulgar words shocked you, but you couldn't deny the other effects they had. You whined quietly, desperately raising your hips to meet his. Mingyu pushed your hips back down against the bed, and then one of his hands reached up to grope your chest.
He left wet kisses and bites across your body as he made his way from your neck to your hips, discarding the last of your clothing and leaving you bare beneath him. His jaw dropped a bit as he pulled your underwear down your legs, revealing the arousal that had built up. "So fucking wet," he observed in awe.
He began to kiss and suck on the skin of your inner thighs, avoiding the place where you needed him most. You wanted to reach down and tug at his hair, but the belt around your wrists prevented the action.
You groaned as you tried pushing your body closer to Mingyu's. "Please, Gyu." You begged. Mingyu glanced up at you from between your thighs with a smirk plastered on his face once he saw how desperate you looked.
"Is this what you want?" He asked as he dragged his fingers through your folds, coating them in your arousal. He rubbed your clit in tight circles and your legs twitched in response.
"More," you said in between moans. You were already sweating and red in the face out of desperation; you could feel your hair sticking to your forehead.
Mingyu stopped his movements, but his hand remained pressed to your clit, and it throbbed beneath his touch. "What else do you want?" He teased. Your eyes were squeezed shut, but you could clearly imagine the cocky, satisfied expression on his face right now. "Tell me," he pleaded.
He suddenly resumed his ministrations, this time at a faster pace, which made your stomach twist. You cried out, unable to form any words. "Come on, Y/N. Use your words."
He brought his hand down to your pussy in a rough slap. The sensation caused your entire body to jolt and you let out a whimper in surprise. Mingyu buried his face in your neck before whispering into your ear: "Beg for it."
Finally, you caved, and you arched your back as you moaned, "Please, Gyu. Please fuck me."
A devilish yet satisfied grin settled across his face as he pulled away from you. "Good girl." He quickly said as his hands found their way to the waistband of his sweatpants. You glanced down, seeing the way his cock strained against the fabric. You wanted to reach out and feel him, but all you could do was lie there helplessly as he undressed himself. He lowered his pants further down his hips until he suddenly stopped.
"Do you have condoms?" He questioned, his lips pursing in thought.
You shook your head. "No. Why would I have them?" Realization slowly began to dawn on you. "You didn't for-"
"Fuck," Mingyu groaned while running his palms over his face. "I forgot."
Disappointment settled over you, but the lust you were feeling for him remained. You ran over various thoughts in your mind as you observed his conflicted expression.
Mingyu's arms dropped to his sides. "It's okay," he reassured. "We can do something else." He looked up at you, his previous lust-filled expression returning as he caressed your thighs. "Have you ever sat on anyone's face before?" He suggested.
The thought enticed you—the image of Mingyu between your thighs always made your stomach twist—but ultimately you knew you needed to feel him inside you.
"Just fuck me anyways." You blurted out. Mingyu's eyes nearly bulged out of his head.
"What?" He cried.
"I'm on the pill," you quickly explained. "You can just... pull out or whatever." Heat rushed to your cheeks; you had become so desperate for him.
You weren't sure what you were doing. Deep down, you knew it was a terrible idea, but you were being controlled by lust—the same lust and desire that made you tell him you wanted to kiss him a few nights ago.
Mingyu's lips were still parted in shock as he scanned your face. "Really?" He didn't see a single hint of hesitation on your visage.
"If that's what you want..." he trailed off. You saw a look of desire return to his eyes as he observed your bare body. Finally, he pushed his pants down his hips and leaned over you again.
His forearms rested on either side of your head, trapping you beneath him as he slipped his tongue into your mouth once again.
He reached down and grabbed hold of his hardened cock, guiding it through the folds of your pussy. Your jaw hung open and a deep moan escaped your throat at the pleasure. "You're gonna be the death of me, I swear." Mingyu mumbled into your ear in response to your moans.
He coated himself in your arousal as he continued to rub his cock against you, his tip nudging your clit and teasing you with the smallest bit of relief. He buried his face in your neck as he finally pushed himself into you.
A loud moan fell from his lips at the feeling. This was so much different from last time. It felt warm and soft and bare. Every sensation felt amplified; the stimulation was so intense.
"Holy shit," you gasped. You felt it too.
Mingyu's hips stuttered as he bottomed out inside you. "You feel so fucking good," he groaned. His words mixed with his hot breath against your throat made your entire body burn up. Mingyu slowly pulled himself out of you, and your back arched as his cock rubbed against your walls before he pushed into you again roughly.
Your chest rose and fell quickly with each short breath you took while Mingyu set his pace of his hips slapping against yours. Your back was still arched, and your hips lifted up uncontrollably to meet his.
"F-fuck," you whined. Your arms tried to spread apart, but they were restricted by the belt again. There was a dull ache in your wrists, but it only added to the pleasurable mix of sensations you were feeling right now.
His hands were squeezing your waist tight, to the point where you thought there might be marks there later. He thrusted into you quickly, desperately trying to reach his high. You opened your eyes to watch his euphoric expression: his head was tilted back, his lips parted, and eyes fluttered shut.
He let out a particularly loud moan and his eyes met yours. A small smile found its way to his lips before his eyes grazed down until they reached your chest. He watched the way your breasts bounced with each movement, and the sight nearly made his eyes roll back into his head.
"You gonna come?" He choked out as he saw the pleasure on your face. You moaned in response, unable to speak. He leaned over you and wrapped his hand around your throat. He stopped for a moment, before roughly pushing into you, his hips slapping against yours.
Finally, he brought his hand down to your clit, rubbing it in tight circles as he continued to thrust into you. The knot in your stomach burned and tightened. You clenched around him, which caused him to choke out a moan.
The pressure in your stomach reached its breaking point. Your body was washed over with a feeling of euphoria as your thighs shook uncontrollably. You could barely hear yourself when you let out a loud cry.
Your moans, the euphoric look on your face, and the feeling of you clenching around him all led to the snap of pleasure in Mingyu's core. He gasped as he struggled to pull himself out of you. "Fuck, I'm coming."
Hot ropes of cum painted across your stomach. Mingyu's chest rose and fell with his pants and moans as he watched the substance cover your body.
"Fuck," he whispered in awe once his orgasm faded away and he admired the mess he left on you.
Just as you were trying to catch your breath and relax your arms, they were stopped by the belt again. "Are you gonna take this off me now?" You asked.
Mingyu chuckled. "I guess so." He finally undid the loop and threw the belt to the floor. You sighed in relief. Mingyu quickly noticed the red marks on your wrists and caressed the irritated skin. "Oh, no. You could've told me it was hurting you." He frowned.
"No, it's fine. I-I liked it." You admitted sheepishly. Luckily, your cheeks were still red from before, so it hid the embarrassed flush of your skin. It was true, though. You never did these types of things before, and you certainly never thought pleasure and pain could go together, but you now that you had experienced it, you were enjoying it all too much.
Mingyu shook his head in disbelief, a smile spreading across his lips as he stared at you. You leaned forward, pressing your lips to his softly.
After a moment, Mingyu pushed you back slightly. "You, uh, probably don't wanna get that on your bed." He pointed to the cum on your stomach. You glanced down. You had almost forgotten it was there.
"Yeah, you're probably right." You laughed. Mingyu reached over for a tissue to wipe it off. The two of you cleaned up, and soon you were lying next to him on the bed again, with him back in his sweats and you with an oversized shirt on.
You faced each other, but your head was curled up against his chest, listening to the quiet sound of his heart beating beneath his ribs.
"You don't seem sad this time." He said. His chest vibrated beneath you as he spoke. You pulled away to look at him with your brows furrowed.
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know. All the other times we've done this you just seem sad after. But this time you don't." He noted.
You shrugged. "You seem different too. More cocky, I guess."
Mingyu pushed you playfully. "Shut up," he snickered.
"No, seriously!" You exclaimed with a laugh. "You were so awkward like a week ago and then today you pulled that stupid stunt in class!" You playfully smacked him back in the chest.
"Okay, yeah. You're right." Mingyu smiled, and then he sighed. "I guess I'm just... getting used to this."
The two of you sat in silence for a moment, both thinking of the same thing.
Mingyu rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. "Which I really shouldn't be," he continued. You chewed on your lip as you pondered what to say.
"I'm breaking up with him."
Saying it out loud made realization hit you like a ton of bricks. But you weren't upset anymore. You would miss all those trips to the coffee shop and weekends in bed from over the past two years, but they had already come to an end the moment you packed up and moved away. At this point, he had become someone you used to know—someone you were holding on to when maybe you should have let go a long time ago.
Mingyu was quiet for a moment. "Wow," he finally spoke. "That's probably for the best. You didn't seem happy."
"Yeah..." you trailed off. An awkward silence started to settle, so you cleared your throat and quickly changed subjects. "So, I haven't heard much about this frat you're in."
Mingyu chuckled softly, turning towards you again. "What do you wanna know?" His hands idly reached for yours, fidgeting with and rubbing circles on the back of your hand.
You thought for a second. "Hmm, I guess... who are the other guys besides you, Cheol, Seungkwan, Seokmin, and bathroom guy?"
Mingyu let out a loud laugh. "Oh, God. Bathroom guy is Soonyoung. I swear, he's the smartest yet stupidest person you'll ever meet." He paused, his face contorted in thought. "Then there's Josh..."
You slowly stirred awake, scrunching your face once you realized the light was still on and about to blind you the second you opened your eyes. You peeked open an eye, glancing around your room for the clock. It was almost 4 AM. You sighed, groggily trying to sit up and recollect what you were doing before you fell asleep, but an arm was weighing you down.
You glanced over your shoulder, and were taken back in surprise for a second when you saw Mingyu lying next to you. The two of you must have dozed off at some point without realizing, and now he was pressed up against you from behind with his arm draped over your waist. He was sleeping deeply, with his lips slightly parted and cheeks puffed out.
You peeled his arm off you slowly, careful not to wake him as you slipped out of bed and into the bathroom. You observed yourself in the fluorescent lighting. Thankfully, your hair wasn't too messy, but your makeup was still on and smudged around your eyes. Something about it almost made you feel hungover.
You spent a few minutes cleaning yourself up before staring at your reflection. If it wasn't already awkward enough that you and Mingyu accidentally fell asleep together, now he would see you bare-faced and groggy with sleep when he woke up. Sure, you two had sex a couple times, but somehow sleeping together was a thousand times more intimate.
You tiptoed out of the bathroom, slowly shutting the door so it didn't make any noise. You lay back down in bed stiffly, pressing yourself right against the edge to avoid Mingyu's grasp.
Just as you finished turning off the light and settling back into bed, Mingyu's arm reached forward and rested across your waist again.
"What time is it?" He muttered, his voice raspy with sleep. You jumped at the sudden noise.
"Oh, um, it's 4:02." You answered.
Mingyu pushed himself up onto his forearm and rubbed his eyes. "Like, in the morning?" He asked. You told him yes and his eyes widened. "Woah, sorry. I didn't mean to fall asleep." He yawned.
He fully sat up now, running his hands through his messy hair. He turned to you, just barely able to see you in the dark. "I can go, if you want."
Oh, God. Even though this situation was an awkward mess, there was no way you could make him go home now.
"I'm not kicking you out in the middle of the night. What kind of terrible person do you think I am?" You responded, to which Mingyu laughed under his breath. "It's only a few more hours."
"Okay," Mingyu said as he lay on his back again. He rolled onto his side, his back towards you. You sat in silence before Mingyu added, "Thanks for not kicking me out."
You chuckled quietly, allowing your eyes to flutter shut and waiting for sleep to overtake you again.
The next time you woke up, sunlight shone in your eyes. With your eyes squinted shut, you rolled over, expecting to bump into Mingyu, but were greeted with empty sheets instead.
Your eyes shot open as you felt around the bed and realized that Mingyu was nowhere to be found. You couldn't help feeling disappointed. Even though you were dreading having to face him in the morning, the fact that he left without saying a word stung.
Suddenly, the bathroom door swung open. "Oh, you're awake," a low voice called. Mingyu stood in the doorway, still shirtless and his hair a little tousled.
You smiled. "I thought you left."
"Nope, still here," he replied. He sat on the edge of the bed and gazed at you. His dark eyes looked like they held a certain warmth in them. "I've never seen someone look so nice after waking up," he said.
Your face burned up instantly. "Stop," you cried sheepishly, burying your face in your hands. You didn't even want to imagine what you looked like right now.
Mingyu grabbed your wrists and pulled them away from your face. "No, really!" He exclaimed while you wrestled back with him. "Your hair isn't even messy and your skin looks so clear," he said in between laughs.
"What are you trying to do, Mingyu?" You cried.
"Just take the compliment and say thanks!" He responded.
You stopped fighting back, letting him hold your wrists while you stared at him with a pout. "Fine," you grumbled. "Thank you."
A satisfied grin settled across his lips, and suddenly you noticed how close he was to you. "You're welcome," he said, his face only a few inches from yours.
You watched as his eyes dragged down to your lips and your breath nearly caught in your throat. He inched forward until his lips met yours. The kiss was soft and slow, until he pushed you back against the bed and pinned your wrists by the side of your head. He slipped his tongue past your lips and you moaned quietly against his mouth.
"You know what I said last night about you sitting on my face?" Mingyu pulled away to say, staring down at you with a mischievous glint in his eye.
You felt arousal growing between your legs as you nodded rapidly. Mingyu let go of your wrists to lie on his back instead. Your hands trembled a bit as you reached to pull your underwear down your thighs.
"Your phone keeps going off," Mingyu said.
"Huh?" You didn't even hear it because you were too focused on the knot you felt in your stomach. You recollected yourself and shook your head. "Just ignore it. It's probably Jisoo or something."
"Hurry up," he teased, lightly smacking your thigh. You were straddling his waist.
"I am! I'm just nervous." You replied, trying to ignore the heat that was rushing to your cheeks. "I don't wanna accidentally kill you."
Mingyu rolled his eyes. "Oh, shush. I wouldn't wanna die any other way." You hovered above his face, hesitating each time you tried to lower yourself. Finally, Mingyu grabbed onto your thighs and pulled you down. You instantly moaned at the feeling of his warm tongue flicking against your clit.
"H-holy shit," you moaned breathlessly. He held onto your thighs tightly, not allowing you to move. Your legs began to twitch at the stimulation and your hips rocked involuntarily.
Mingyu pulled away, and you thought for a second that he was trying to tease you before he groaned: "Oh, my god. Who keeps calling you?" He shoved his hand under your pillow and pulled out your phone, squinting at the screen as he read.
"Who's Wonwoo?"
Your heart dropped right into the pit of your stomach. It felt like someone had punched you in the gut and you were unable to catch your breath.
"Are you kidding?" You cried. Mingyu had never seen your eyes so wide before. He turned the phone around to show you. Sure enough, Wonwoo's name was on the screen.
"Is that your boyfrie-" he started, but you interrupted by jerking the phone out of his hand.
"Don't say anything," you ordered. You hit answer and brought the phone up to your ear with a shaky hand.
"Hey," you said, trying to conceal the quiver in your voice.
"Hey," Wonwoo replied. Hearing his voice again made your throat tighten.
"I'm on campus. Can we please talk?"
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I'm actually crying because I'm so proud of you for this. There is a lot under the cut, but Jordan, this is a work of art. More...
government email server...(okay yes, i am perfectly aware that our esteemed lieutenant commander would probably get kicked out of the navy for some of these emails…that being said, i also don’t particularly care! we’re playing fast and loose with the time stamps too because i may be smart, but math has never been a strong suit of mine!)
LET’S FUCKING GO.
12/17 @ 6:19am
I’m still in my car typing this after having stayed for probably far too long watching your C-40 take off (like people were staring at me I was there so long)
The numbness is palpable. This is really raw from SA. It’s not often this guard is let down in such a way.
12/18 @ 5:46pm
they invited me to stay for drinks (the prosecco was flowing…), but I wanted to head home.
I feel seen.
I miss you so much already, it feels weird not going over to your place after work and making dinner and prepping lunch together - and it’s only been two days. I know you’re on a comms blackout for the next couple days, so I’m just gonna keep sending these so you’ll have a bunch to read all at once.
Spam him, darling heart x
12/19 @ 11:48am
(‘twas preemptively sent!)
The holiday sentiment. Fucking heart eyes.
But alas! Climate change is real and private jets account for 20x as many carbon emissions as commercial planes, so I am up at the ass-crack of dawn for this 7:15am flight.
She’d either be my best friend or the one that saw my eyes roll most. I think they’re one and the same tbh
12/23 @ 4:45am
I still don’t understand why you don’t fly into Oakland instead of SFO? Like I get it, you’re not a Spirit or SW girl, but kid….it’s an hour and forty minute flight?
I cackled out loud – he never misses one second to call her out on her shit and it melts my poor, cold, old heart.
12/23 @ 9:08am
Oh her excitement. It’s just… it’s honestly, the sweetest.
12/23 @ 8:53pm
You and me, hot date tomorrow night at 11:45pst - don’t be late. (And look cute.)
Brain stopped to think 24 hour time… then realised it was AM. Cool cool cool cool…
12/25 @ 11:38am
Ummm, not sure what you’re talking about, kid? That sounds like something Santa would do? Probably heard about how good you’ve been this year? x
Dying at Dadley Dadshaw’s dad jokes. And sad Dadley Dadshaw lost his dad so early.
12/30 @ 9:20am
it’s at this fancy venue and I have a cute black dress! It’s very different for me and I wish you were here to see it! I’ll have to wear it again.
Oh, this is a dreamy dress!
01/02 @ 6:12am
You know you labeled the pictures wrong…luckily no one was behind me…
RIP ME.
01/06 @ 9:58pm
I think I get that, having you around this time makes it different. I’ve never had anyone to really write to while I’ve been away before. Sure, I talked to my grandparents when they were still around and my aunts and uncles, Nat, Ice, and a couple others, but not like this. And I don’t ever want to not feel like this again.
Oh, my heart. My HEART! I am YEARNING.
01/10 @ 8:05am
Well, the exterminator got here around 7:30 and sprayed all this stuff and blocked the hole in the crawl space of the garage. He showed me pictures and let me tell you, there was quite the nest up there. These raccoons were living large over the holidays.
Did I tell you about our rat situation? Long story short, if they aren’t humans, they aren’t invited.
01/16 @ 7:47am
Not to worry my little Barefoot Contessa, I have returned back to civilization (ie the internet), though am dismayed to have missed this mind blowing Succession episode? Has Perry Mason started back up again or will we be able to watch that together?
Bob and I were in the gym earlier and he almost dropped a dumbbell on my foot, I swear my life flashed before my eyes. But I had a new PR on the bench press today, up to 285 pounds. Glad the cooking lesson went well though! What’s the class makeup like? x Bradley
His train of consciousness is wild haha
01/18 @ 6:37pm
Can I send you a dossier with everything!?! Even if you say no to that I’m doing it anyway ;) just promise me you’ll think about it, please? I’ll do whatever you want, Bradley <3
01/18 @ 6:40pm
Yes, please send the dossier my way henceforth, Moneypenny.
And you’ll do whatever I want, huh? Might have to send you a dossier of my own now…
(But yes, I promise I’ll seriously consider everything. I just don’t want you to feel like you have to spend all this money to make me happy. I’d say we’d both be happy camping out on the beach, but I think that might be a security issue down there, plus neither of us like camping - anyway, you know what I mean.)
This is seriously me and my hubby – it generally comes down to what Cass wants, Cass gets because he spoils me endlessly, but it’s nice to be nice and it’s nice to be loved and see the world through the eyes of the one you love.
01/18 @ 6:46pm
I’d say ‘sleep tight,’ but that’s a given considering you haven’t been fucked in a couple weeks.
(Perfect, I genuinely am really excited about it, just want to make sure it works out for us both.)
Love you so much, kid
Your Bradley
01/18 @ 6:58pm
Bradley Bradshaw!! You did not just say that over a government email server!
Imissyourcocksobadlyit’sdrivingmeinsane
And here we goooo!
01/19 @ 10:11am
Luckily, I have a very creative imagination, Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw.
See right now, I’m in my office, sitting at my desk, feeling so overwhelmed. It almost hurts how overwhelmed and frustrated I am. And you bust down the door, hair windswept like you’d flown to Del Mar, and you have that slutty flight suit on and I don’t even mind that you’re sweaty and gross.
My brain just broke. No brrrr. Figuratively just melted from my ears.
01/22 @ 10:01am
Breaking news, kid. Your esteemed, naval aviator boyfriend is going to be on 60 Minutes at the end of February. Totally came out of left field, but I couldn’t say anything until they finished filming. It’s about the Navy in the Pacific and “the lost art of shipbuilding.” They even rigged up a camera on my plane and everything, it was so cool. I’ve been dying to tell you, but again couldn’t say anything until it was official. I probably won’t be on it long since they interviewed the Admiral and Pac Fleet Commander for most of it, but yeah, Payback and Bob and I will be on with my girl Norah. I made sure I had enough sunscreen on so I was camera ready at all times. Love you B
Bradshaw Goes Hollywood. Could you imagine the enlistments the next day, knowing that is what is on offer with the Navy? My word.
01/24 @ 8:22pm
Fuck - I love you so much. My clever girl.
I turn to mush when I’m called clever. Because I know, but when someone else reiterates it?
01/30 @ 7:08am
i slept in one of your shirts last night. it doesn’t smell like you anymore, but it feels like you: soft and safe and warm x
Oh.
01/30 @ 10:33pm
I burrow my face in my pillow so I can smell it while I fist my cock, why? What’d you have in mind?
01/30 @ 10:37pm
How does that work though? Like genuinely? Do you jack off with Rueben in the top bunk? Or wait till he’s in the gym? I’ve been curious about this for a while now. What about the showers? Is it like an open floor plan thing? Or are there stalls? Is there a Zillow listing for this aircraft carrier?
01/30 @ 10:41pm
Now why would I ruin the mystery?
He’s the smuggest motherfucker and I think that’s what I like most about him.
02/02 @ 6:46pm
Oh, so you and Rueben Theragun each other, huh? Say more Lieutenant Commander!
Honestly, this was my same reaction.
02/16 @ 3:18pm
Kid, you spoil me. This package is amazing, I don’t know where to start (just kidding it’s with the Cadbury chocolate and the Sudocrem as my burnt shoulders thank you), but everything is wonderful, thank you. I love hearing about London and seeing the pictures you sent last time. But I do have one complaint…you’re not in any of the pictures, kid, and that’s truly egregious. (Think we won’t be able to Facetime for a while, I gave Payback my slot the other day.)
I honestly love how smart Bradley is. So many connotations of him are dumb, just a dude, that he doesn’t have emotions, doesn’t think about him life. Then he uses egregious and I just… I would die. My husband is a lot like Bradley Bradshaw. He is my Bradley Bradshaw. My old man x
02/26 @ 7:55pm
You looked tragically handsome, I practically had to hold back a moan when you were standing on the flight deck talking to Norah O’Donnell (is she as nice in person as she is on TV?). God, I want to ravish you, you sounded so fucking smart. You know like half the country is going to be in love with you now, right?
I’m so glad that this was touched upon, because Hollywood, you’d better move the fuck over. The real flyboy is here… and I’m mush.
03/01 @ 10:05pm
Where are you going to have me first?
03/01 @ 10:06pm
In our bed, in our house, after you make me dinner in our kitchen.
Sexual domesticationTM.
03/05 @ 8:54pm
Though she’ll forget to ask about you, she’ll tell me about her latest string of failed relationships with bartenders and surf instructors in Canggu. Or is it Ubud? I genuinely don’t remember, she started in Ubud, but honestly my knowledge of Balinese geography is rudimentary at best
Somewhere I have been and knowwww
03/10 @ 3:26am
We had a little baby. He was always giggling and laughing and we were making silly faces and he looked so small in your arms, Bradley. So small and little and he was ours. And then I turned around and he was toddling around the house and we were chasing him and his little legs were moving so quickly and we all wound up on the couch in a tangle of limbs, giggling under the blankets as we tickled him and he called you daddy.
It wasn’t our house - or what will be our house, I guess? Instead of the leather couch you have, it was white and big and wide and the three of us could easily fit on it, snuggled together.
And I could feel your arms around me, rocking me back and forth. I could feel you humming in my ear and kissing my neck and telling me you loved me. I could feel it. I could feel you. I could feel him and you. And it was nice and I felt warm and safe and cherished and loved. Because I felt so much love for this little boy in my arms - the perfect mix of me and you. Everything felt right and perfect.
Except when I rolled over in bed to tell you about it, I realized I was alone in my bed, in my apartment, and not in the house that we shared or with the little boy that looked so much like you and I haven’t felt so empty and sad since I can’t remember when.
And I just miss you so much, Bradley. I know I can come across as glib and unfeeling sometimes and like this doesn’t affect me as much. But it does and sometimes I feel like my heart is going to burst because I’ve never felt like this for anyone else before? It’s never been so easy for me to love someone and let them love me to the point that I always want to be beside them. And I know with your job - and mine - that can’t always happen, but god Bradley I wish you were here right now so you could hold me and tell me you loved me because I just want to feel your arms around me and know you’re real. I want to tell you about the little boy - the perfect mix of me and you.
I love you rocketman x
I feel it was so above board, you know. sO it could be kept light and that they were okay, but they're aren't. The are magnets, need to be together. The lack of joy they bring each other kept at a level that wouldn’t concern the other, but this just broke my heart. This is her word vomit and her honesty and the only person that really understands her is Bradley.
03/12 @ 7:11pm
How do you always know exactly what to say? I’m sorry for springing that all on you, know it wasn’t exactly a quick/easy message, but I love that you knew exactly what I meant. My day’s always a lot easier on my heart when I hear from you, too. Love you x
Smart boys get it. They feel it in their hearts and bones and blood.
3/13 @ 10:39pm
rocketman: part i - it's just my job five days a week
Summary: in which lieutenant commander bradshaw is on a three month special detachment in the pacific and the holidays have never felt lonelier for either of you. it's just three months, it'll be fine, right?
OR you and bradley write each other 159 emails
Pairing: Rooster x Fem!Reader 11.8k
Warnings: 18+, explicit language, suggestive dialogue, bradley needs to remember this is a government email server...(okay yes, i am perfectly aware that our esteemed lieutenant commander would probably get kicked out of the navy for some of these emails…that being said, i also don’t particularly care! we’re playing fast and loose with the time stamps too because i may be smart, but math has never been a strong suit of mine!) enjoy the companion playlist! rest of the series can be found here!
12/17 @ 6:19am
I miss you already and I haven’t even left the parking lot. I’m still in my car typing this after having stayed for probably far too long watching your C-40 take off (like people were staring at me I was there so long)(and, yes, I looked up the name of the plane). Pete asked me if I wanted to get breakfast with him, but I said no. Felt too lost. Plus, I need to get ready for work. We’re going to get dinner on Wednesday before I head up to Berkeley Thursday morning, though!
Hope you have a safe transport and settle onboard quickly. I left you something in your duffle bag (yes, it’s safe to open around other people…head out of the gutter, Bradshaw).
Love you and stay safe, x
12/18 @ 5:46pm
Just dropped off the gifts at the Junior League for Caroline’s adopt a child thing. She was completely in her element (they gave her a clipboard and a bullhorn!), though she did say we went wayyy too over the top. But little Carter asked for all that stuff! We couldn’t just not get it all for him? She also appreciated your wrapping skills, very impressed with the bows and tight corners. I met a couple of her friends there, which was nice and they invited me to stay for drinks (the prosecco was flowing…), but I wanted to head home.
I miss you so much already, it feels weird not going over to your place after work and making dinner and prepping lunch together - and it’s only been two days. I know you’re on a comms blackout for the next couple days, so I’m just gonna keep sending these so you’ll have a bunch to read all at once.
All my love, x
12/19 @ 11:48am
My brother and Lauren decided to come out here for Christmas after all! My dad was so excited when he called me, but I think Mary’s a little less enthused. Feels like shit knowing we were the backup option for them. Apparently, Lauren’s mom is sick and the whole house is in disarray (not hard in that family…) so my dad is paying for them to fly in from New York tomorrow. I think it’ll be nice, we’ll almost have a full set (baring you, of course, my darling rocketman), so the house won’t be as lonely. Do you think we’ll get to talk on Christmas or Christmas Eve? You should be getting a package soon (‘twas preemptively sent!) and are under strict orders not to open it until Christmas Eve, buddy!
Going to dinner with Pete tonight, I’ll let you know how it goes. Amelia’s coming with us, but I don’t know about Penny? I hope they like the gifts we got them. I’m going to stop by your place, do a once over, and make sure the tree is ready for Pete to take, etc. before I leave on Thursday.
Love you and talk soon! x
12/20 @ 7:03am
House looked good! In my seat on the plane. If my morals were shakier, I would 1000% have taken Max up on his offer to fly me up to Berkeley. But alas! Climate change is real and private jets account for 20x as many carbon emissions as commercial planes, so I am up at the ass-crack of dawn for this 7:15am flight. I’ll message you when I land, love you!
12/20 @ 9:04am
Just landed - easy flight. Now to find my dad in arrivals…
Love you, talk when you get the chance! x
12/23 @ 4:45am
Hey sweetheart! Back online and all settled in. I’m bunking with Payback and we actually have a pretty decent layout. He graciously offered to give me the bottom bunk, due to my ‘geriatric status.’ Honestly, I’m just glad I don’t have to sleep in the bunk room with the ensigns and rest of the crew. I forgot how noisy it is being on an aircraft carrier, which makes Payback’s snoring surprisingly pleasant. I’m glad he and Bob are with me. The rest of this squadron’s from Lemoore and Bob knows some of them. It’s interesting seeing him and Payback fly together, but they mesh really well.
Glad Mav is there to keep an eye on you.
Okay, I had way too much fun picking out all those presents, so I really hope Carter loves them too. And please tell me you have a picture of Caroline yelling into the bullhorn? I can truly think of nothing scarier than Caroline Calloway ordering the young women of San Diego county around like Santa’s chief elf. And speaking of gifts, I loved my pictures. The one from the Christmas party is my favorite, did Fanboy take it? I saw him running around with his Pentax. When the hell did you have time to print it? I’ve got it hanging up in my bunk so I can see it every night.
I still don’t understand why you don’t fly into Oakland instead of SFO? Like I get it, you’re not a Spirit or SW girl, but kid….it’s an hour and forty minute flight? Live a little. And I think it’ll be nice having your brother and Lauren around for Christmas. How many people do you think it’ll be? I always loved seeing Christmas Eves with large families in movies and stuff, all the chaos and whatnot? But it’s just gonna be you five Christmas Day? I’ve heard rumblings that I might be first in line for a Facetime on Christmas Eve, so save some time for me too, kid. I’ll let you know for sure in a couple days.
Okay, think we’re all caught up now. Talk soon and love you so much,
Your Bradley
12/23 @ 9:08am
Bubs! I read your email four times since I woke up, I can’t stop smiling. I’m glad you’re all settled in - Payback’s snoring and ageism aside haha. How’s the food? Do you want earplugs? A sleep mask? Are earplugs allowed for sleeping? What if you need to get up right away and you can’t hear? I could send you a white noise machine? Or is there a fear of hacking with that? I should’ve done more research on this before you left. Tell me if you need anything, I’ll send it out express! Oh, I’m just so happy to hear from you. Keep me posted!
Lots of love, x
12/23 @ 8:53pm
You and me, hot date tomorrow night at 11:45pst - don’t be late. (And look cute.)
Your Bradley
12/23 @ 8:55pm
I’ll be there 😉 Love you, x
12/25 @ 9:56am
Bradley Bradshaw you absolute sneak! How on Earth did you pull a Christmas miracle off!?! Mary said she had no clue, so I’m extremely impressed you got my dad to keep that secret!? I was totally not expecting another present from you? The cooking lessons and apron were more than enough - to say nothing about moving in together!?! I love the bracelet so much, you have no idea. I started crying when I opened it! Mary took a video, which I’m sure she’ll send you. God, Bradley? You didn’t have to do that! It’s perfect, it’s like we’re locked together. I’m gonna wear it everyday. Please email me later if you get the chance!
(Also, Lauren looked really jealous 😉 my brother was sweating)
Love you and Merry Christmas Rocketman! x
12/25 @ 11:38am
Ummm, not sure what you’re talking about, kid? That sounds like something Santa would do? Probably heard about how good you’ve been this year? x
12/25 @ 11:40am
Thank you, I love it so much and wish I could give you the biggest hug and kiss right now. I’ll have an extra slice of babka for you tonight, talk soon and Merry Christmas, Bradley! Love you x
12/27 @ 4:49am
I miss sleeping next to you. Whenever I can’t sleep, I think about the way you looked at me in the living room after our Christmas party. You looked so happy and I hate that I have to leave you for all our firsts. First Christmas, first New Year’s, first Valentine’s Day. And god, sweetheart, you’re so fucking gorgeous it makes me want to lose my mind sometimes. Always thinking about you, Bradley
12/27 @ 8:38am
I miss sleeping next to you, too (especially since your body is like a furnace and you hold me close when I get cold). And I know you being away during the holidays is hard, but look at it this way - we’ll just have our firsts next year. Next year will be our first Christmas, first New Year’s, first Valentine’s Day together, not an ocean apart. We have all the time in the world, rocketman. Love you today and every day x
12/29 @ 6:02pm
There’s already so many things I’m dying to tell you and stories about the squadron we’re teaming up with, but the Navy will have my ass if I give away too many details so I’m just going to leave it at this: are we sure Max doesn’t have a twin on another continent? Take that as you will. What’re your plans for New Year’s? Your Bradley
12/30 @ 9:20am
Sorry for the delayed response! A minor issue with my brother and my dad that I won’t bore you with had the whole house in a tizzy. Thankfully, he and Lauren are gone even though my dad still won’t tell me what the issue was? Anyway! God, I wish I could hear more about Max’s twin? I am honestly kind of scared about knowing there’s a Max doppelgänger in the Navy (jokes!). For New Year’s, I’m going to this party with Mary and dad in the city, it’s at this fancy venue and I have a cute black dress! It’s very different for me and I wish you were here to see it! I’ll have to wear it again. Message me when it’s the New Year your time! Love you! x
01/01 @ 12:09am
Happy New Year, sweetheart! They had a little party for the officers - we even got cake and Bob snuck me and Payback seconds somehow. It’s always the quiet ones you gotta look out for. You absolutely need to send me pictures of you in that dress, I can’t wait to see it on you in person someday. Hope you have a great time with your dad and Mary, give them my best. Love you and again Happy New Year!
Your Bradley
01/01 @ 12:01am
Happy New Year, Bradley!!! You got cake!! You broke some rules! I approve! Milk them for all the cake they’re worth! I’ll send some pics of the three of us and one just for you big boy 😉 Talk soon and love you so so much! x
01/01 @ 10:59am
Had a late start! Here are the pics from last night! Try and sneak some more cake xx
[mary_and_dad_being_annoying.jpg]
[me.jpg]
01/02 @ 6:12am
You know you labeled the pictures wrong…luckily no one was behind me…
01/02 @ 9:04am
Who? Me? I would NEVER! (Just trying to keep you on your toes.) Hope the flying is going well and you’re staying safe, B! Love you!
01/03 @ 8:00pm
Yeah, it’s going well. It’s so different flying on the open ocean after so long? Last time was in September when I went to Hong Kong. The desert is cool, don’t get me wrong, but seeing the clouds and the water together is unreal. The pink and purple clouds remind me of you (sorry, that was lame). You still gotta let me take you up, kid. I’ve heard Mav is trying to convince you, but you gotta let me be the one. Can’t trust just anyone with my girl. Love B
01/04 @ 10:13am
Bradley…he’s practically your father, I’m pretty sure you can trust him to take me up in a plane, you silly boy. Not that I’m saying you won’t be my first…but come on! And it’s not lame. I like that the pink and purple clouds remind you of me. Every time I see a plane I send a little call out for your safety. Gotta keep you safe, rocketman! Talk soon and love you! x
01/06 @ 4:45pm
My parents just dropped me off at the airport and no matter how many times I leave them, I always cry. I think the only time I didn’t cry when I left their house was when you were with me over Thanksgiving. You always make it better, bubs.
They’re coming down in a couple weeks to help me start packing, anything in the house you wouldn’t want them to see while dropping off boxes? I can still bring my old bed, etc for the guest room, right?
All my love, x
01/06 @ 9:58pm
I think I get that, having you around this time makes it different. I’ve never had anyone to really write to while I’ve been away before. Sure, I talked to my grandparents when they were still around and my aunts and uncles, Nat, Ice, and a couple others, but not like this. And I don’t ever want to not feel like this again.
I’m an open book, kid. Ain’t got nothing to hide. And yeah, anything like that feel free to bring with you for the guest room or office. It was the bed, nightstands, and dresser and then your couch for the office, yeah? We can get new bedding and pillows for it if you want? I’m on comms blackout for a couple days, so message me whenever you want so I can read them all when we’re back online.
Your Bradley
01/06 @ 10:07pm
Perfect! Love you and stay safe, rocketman.
01/06 @ 10:09pm
Love you too, kid.
01/09 @ 6:11pm
Bradley, I don’t mean to alarm you, but there was a raccoon in your garage! Scratch that, a FAMILY of raccoons!??! I’m sure Mr Harrington was ready to call the cops when he heard my scream. They’re so cute, but also terrifying at the same time? So, I called Pete and he came right over, a true knight in shining armor! Amelia and I did a THOROUGH sweep of the house to make sure they were relegated to the garage. Pete got them out safe and sound with a random tennis racket and your 4 iron, but somebody’s coming tomorrow to check on how they got in there. And I know they aren’t hurting anyone, but I just don’t want there to be any issues later on? (The babies were actually so cute and reminded me of my cat growing up, Porter.) Anyway! Enough drama for tonight, I hope that gets a laugh out of you - talk soon!
Love you! x
01/10 @ 8:05am
Well, the exterminator got here around 7:30 and sprayed all this stuff and blocked the hole in the crawl space of the garage. He showed me pictures and let me tell you, there was quite the nest up there. These raccoons were living large over the holidays.
01/12 @ 5:21pm
Okay! I’m in the parking lot, waiting for my first cooking class to start. Is it weird I’m a little nervous? I hope everyone else’s skill level is similar, I don’t like feeling behind. I brought my new apron, ironed it and everything. I feel a little like Ina Garten, isn’t she just divine? Okay, okay, I’m going in now! I’ll let you know how it goes! Thanks again for getting me these xx
01/12 @ 7:03pm
I feel so tired? Like my hand cramped a little bit? We started off the class with knife skills, which we’re going to do every week and then made this “simple” egg dish, which was NOT simple and I overcooked the egg. Ina would be so disappointed. Alas! Onto next week. Love you!
01/15 @ 9:12pm
Bradley you’re not going to BELIEVE what just happened on Succession. My heart is POUNDING? Do you think if I called and asked really nicely the Navy would get an HBO subscription for everyone? That is what I would like my tax dollars to go towards. Can you get me a direct line to someone in charge please? Love you!
01/16 @ 7:47am
Not to worry my little Barefoot Contessa, I have returned back to civilization (ie the internet), though am dismayed to have missed this mind blowing Succession episode? Has Perry Mason started back up again or will we be able to watch that together?
Bob and I were in the gym earlier and he almost dropped a dumbbell on my foot, I swear my life flashed before my eyes. But I had a new PR on the bench press today, up to 285 pounds. Glad the cooking lesson went well though! What’s the class makeup like? x Bradley
01/16 @ 9:04am
I’m glad you’re back online and safe! Perry Mason has not started yet, though I’m still certain you’re the only person under the age of 55 that watches it (I guess I should say we’re the only people under the age of 55 that watch it, but whatever). You’ve also missed a couple Top Chef episodes, but we can always binge this season later.
There’s about 12 of us in the class and it’s pretty evenly split? Though there’s tragically this really annoying couple who were at the station next to me. I hope we get to change next week, I don’t think I can watch them feed each other food another week.
And I’m still waiting for that direct line to the Navy, Bradshaw! Love you! x
01/1 6 @ 6:59pm
Wait, wait, how did I miss there? There was a WHAT in my garage? A raccoon? Multiple raccoons? We need to get a dog or a cat or something. x Bradley
01/18 @ 7:02am
Bradley!! I know we talked about a trip once you got home (provided you still feel up for it with the transition and all), what if we went here? I was talking about our tentative plans with my dad and Mary before I went back to San Diego and they went to Punta Mita this past fall and LOVED it! What do you think? Love you!
01/18 @ 6:03pm
Holy shit! That looks absolutely amazing, yes I’d love to go! Can we afford that though? It looks expensive? xBradley
01/18 @ 6:05pm
YAY!! Ahh, I’m so excited you have no idea! I want to hug and kiss you so bad right now! We can fly for free since I have a bunch of AA points (thank you pwc) and then I have like a million Amex points, so it’s not full price!!
01/18 @ 6:12pm
When you say ‘like a million’ do you actually mean a million or?
01/18 @ 6:14pm
Yes! I’ve had this card for like 15 years! My whole family does the pooling on it! It’s a drop in the bucket, promise! Plus, I always use my other card for work and that has a whole bunch of Bonvoy points on it, too. We could stay at one of those? I think there’s a St Regis next door?
01/18 @ 6:22pm
Sweetheart, I want to go, I just don’t want you to waste all those points on this.
01/18 @ 6:26pm
What if we go for 6 nights instead of 9? Maybe no plunge pool? Or we could pay cash instead? And then I could get 6x the points from paying that way? So, really….the points just keep accumulating, we’ve got to use them sometime! The points can pay for the flights and the hotel and then we can split the room charges and incidentals 50:50?
Will you think about it? You don’t have to give me an answer right away and we can always pick another hotel? But if we want to go someplace in late March/early April, I think we should book soon with spring break and all? Not that I imagine many coeds will be staying at the Four Seasons, but you never know…
01/18 @ 6:33pm
You gotta send me a ppt on all this points stuff, you know math stresses me out. And no, I don’t think many coeds will be staying at the Four Seasons, kid.
01/18 @ 6:37pm
Can I send you a dossier with everything!?! Even if you say no to that I’m doing it anyway ;) just promise me you’ll think about it, please? I’ll do whatever you want, Bradley <3
01/18 @ 6:40pm
Yes, please send the dossier my way henceforth, Moneypenny.
And you’ll do whatever I want, huh? Might have to send you a dossier of my own now…
(But yes, I promise I’ll seriously consider everything. I just don’t want you to feel like you have to spend all this money to make me happy. I’d say we’d both be happy camping out on the beach, but I think that might be a security issue down there, plus neither of us like camping - anyway, you know what I mean.)
01/18 @ 6:43pm
Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw!! Is this a dossier for my eyes only? What will M say!? I’ll send you mine if you send me yours?
(But seriously, thank you! I’ll send you more specifics tomorrow - like pricing and whatnot - and you can take a couple days to think it over. And thank you for clarifying the camping thing, I was worried for a second there.)
I love you so much rocketman and we’ll talk (email) tomorrow
x Moneypenny
01/18 @ 6:46pm
I’d say ‘sleep tight,’ but that’s a given considering you haven’t been fucked in a couple weeks.
(Perfect, I genuinely am really excited about it, just want to make sure it works out for us both.)
Love you so much, kid
Your Bradley
01/18 @ 6:58pm
Bradley Bradshaw!! You did not just say that over a government email server!
Imissyourcocksobadlyit’sdrivingmeinsane
01/18 @ 7:01pm
Couldn’t help it. Plus, we both know it’s true.
01/18 @ 7:04pm
Oh, shut up. Shut me up
01/18 @ 11:43pm
I’m sorry if I came off too strong about planning earlier, I might’ve gotten a little carried away and been a little too eager about planning something five days after you’re home from a three month detachment. If at any time before you come home or even right after you come home you don’t feel up to the trip, please please please tell me. I want to do something nice for you and give you a chance to truly relax, but I’d hate for it to come at a price. So, just let me know, okay? Say the word and we’ll push it, alright? I don’t exactly know what you’re going through, but tell me if it’s ever too much. I’ll always be here, promise. Love you x
[dossier_for_your_eyes_only.ppt]
01/19 @ 8:29am
Kid, no. I promise I’ll tell you. You know I love how excited you get planning things. I think I like it so much because you take care of it all. Sure, you ask for my opinion and what I want, but I just have to tell you one thing, one idea and you take care of it.
Funny though, isn’t it? How it’s totally opposite in the other side of our relationship? You tell me one thing, one idea and I take care of all of it? Bet it’s hard for you not having someone around to do that for you? Maybe next time we Facetime we can talk more about that? x B
01/19 @ 10:11am
Luckily, I have a very creative imagination, Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw.
See right now, I’m in my office, sitting at my desk, feeling so overwhelmed. It almost hurts how overwhelmed and frustrated I am. And you bust down the door, hair windswept like you’d flown to Del Mar, and you have that slutty flight suit on and I don’t even mind that you’re sweaty and gross. You smell absolutely divine and I rake my hands through your hair as you eat me out underneath my glass desk. I get a conference call, but you don’t stop the entire time. You like how squirmy and fussy I get, I can’t focus on the deliverable I’m working on for the client. You like that I can’t control myself, that I squeeze my thighs around your head. Eventually, you can’t take it anymore, your cock is aching so badly, and you need to fuck me on top of my desk. You’re so strong it almost breaks. You fuck me so good everyone in the office can hear me crying out for you.
(actually, I’m on the couch, watching college football, but it’s more fun to imagine you fucking me in my office - see, creative imagination! Make sure you get a quiet room for that Facetime...)
Love x
01/19 @ 7:29pm
You think you’re funny, huh? You have any more of those thoughts, feel free to send them my way. ‘m taking out that picture you gave me for Christmas right now. How you taking care of yourself? My imagination isn’t as creative as yours. B
01/19 @ 7:40pm
Guess you’ll have to wait for our next Facetime…
x
01/20 @ 4:24pm
Your dad and Mary write me emails, you know. They aren’t as good correspondents as you are (for how could they possibly be, my dear?), but they check in about once a week or so. Mary sends me some of the articles she gives her students and talks about the show she’s watching with your dad. Your dad mainly talks about you. It makes me wish my parents were still around to do this stuff with me. Just checking in and writing emails and bragging about me to my girlfriend? How was yesterday’s class?
Your Bradley
01/20 @ 5:39m
I didn’t know they wrote you that often and I’m beyond embarrassed that my dad talks about me that much? But come on, Bradley…you have someone who does that, too? He’s about 5’8” (on a good day), looks great in a leather jacket, and just spent about two hours last weekend cleaning your gutters and telling me about how you won your high school’s debate scholarship?? Like how could you not tell me that? It’s literally one of the hottest things I’ve heard about you!
Class was good! They taught us a trick to cut onions without crying and one of the other girls complimented my apron! We’re doing meats next week, cutting, marinating, cooking, etc. and I’m excited!
01/20 @ 5:42pm
Oh gee, I bet it’s just awful for you to have Mav around all the time. Knight in shining armor…
01/20 @ 5:48pm
He’s not a bother! And it’s not all the time! We’re actually going to get lunch together on Saturday! It’s this new place on the water.
01/20 @ 5:50pm
Sounds like a cute little date! You’ll have to tell me how he is. Love you so much B
01/20 @ 5:55pm
I’ll keep ya posted, bubs! Love you!
01/22 @ 10:01am
Breaking news, kid. Your esteemed, naval aviator boyfriend is going to be on 60 Minutes at the end of February. Totally came out of left field, but I couldn’t say anything until they finished filming. It’s about the Navy in the Pacific and “the lost art of shipbuilding.” They even rigged up a camera on my plane and everything, it was so cool. I’ve been dying to tell you, but again couldn’t say anything until it was official. I probably won’t be on it long since they interviewed the Admiral and Pac Fleet Commander for most of it, but yeah, Payback and Bob and I will be on with my girl Norah. I made sure I had enough sunscreen on so I was camera ready at all times. Love you B
01/22 @ 10:09am
YOU’RE FUCKING SHITTING ME????? Oh my god, Bradley! That’s amazing! Margie even ran into my office to see what made me shriek! I am TOTALLY having a viewing party! Oh my god, how do you think it went? Did they get your good side? What about hair and makeup? I know you get helmet hair, bubs.
Seriously, so so excited and proud of you, Bradley! I’m going to make my dad and Mary come down for it! She doesn’t teach on Mondays, so this is perfect for them to stay over Sunday night! But now don’t go letting all that fame get to your head, Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw 😉 Love you so much x
01/24 @ 12:17pm
Rocketman -
I was sitting at my desk earlier and listening to some music before my 12:30 meeting and Elton John’s Rocket Man popped up on my shuffle. Obviously, as you are my rocketman, I always think of you whenever I hear it, but today the lyrics really scratched that special part of my brain, so I did a deep dive into the song’s origins.
Please note, I’m including this time in my billable hours to the client (re. you). My findings are as follows:
Bernie Taupin was inspired by a Ray Bradbury story written in 1951 titled ‘The Rocket Man’ - not drugs as the urban legend states! Drugs! Imagine!
Bradbury’s ‘The Rocket Man’ was first published in Maclean’s, a weekly Canadian magazine, before it was published in the short story collection ‘The Illustrated Man’ that same year
‘The Illustrated Man’ later was made into a film, though ‘The Rocket Man’ story was notably absent
Some of more popular and renowned stories from the collection include ‘The Veldt’ and ‘The Long Rain,’ the latter of which is commonly read in high school honors English
Was client in honors English? Please confirm in follow up correspondence
Client has mentioned extensive library resources at disposal - perhaps he can check this collection out on his next visit? But for now, an executive summary has been provided:
With space travel more commonplace in society, Doug’s father, an astronaut, is sent on frequent, three- month journeys into space
Despite missing his dad, Doug also longs to be a Rocket Man, though his mother frequently prevails on Doug to beg his father to stay on Earth and be with the family
“What’s it like, out in space?” Mother shot me a frightened glance. It was too late. Dad stood there for a full half minute trying to find an answer, then he shrugged.“It’s the best thing in a lifetime of best things.” Then he caught himself. “Oh, it’s really nothing at all. Routine. You wouldn’t like it.” He looked at me, apprehensively. “But you always go back.” “Habit.”
The father finds that his work is ruining his life, but the draw of the stars is too great: "You don’t know what it is. Every time I’m out there I think, if I ever get back to Earth I’ll stay there; I’ll never go out again. But I got out, and I guess I’ll always go out.”
Even while on vacation with the family, having Thanksgiving dinner, or sitting on the back porch, the father’s eyes are always on the sky…
Doug’s father begs him to not be like him, to not be a rocket man, but what happens when his father goes on one last journey to the stars?
Through much reflection, I have decided that ‘The Rocket Man’ was written about you - and your mom and your dad and me and on and on until there is no longer a need for Rocket Men - or the rocket man simply stops and breaks the cycle
You are both the Rocket Man and the little boy, forever waiting for his father to come home from space
The allure of flying, of being a ‘rocket man,’ is both too great and too sad for you to ignore
None of this is to say the rocket man is selfish, no. He simply cannot resist the temptation. He knows nothing other than the thrill and peace of being amongst the stars
And his mother shielding Doug from the sun at the end is like your mom asking Mav to pull your papers, she does it to save him, but it cannot keep him from becoming his father
Needless to say - I had to postpone my 12:30 meeting until tomorrow as my eyes were far too puffy and any word I tried to say felt like cotton in my mouth.
I miss you and I love you - your ‘Lilly’
01/24 @ 8:22pm
Fuck - I love you so much. My clever girl.
01/24 @ 8:28pm
I pour my heart out to you and that’s all you have to say, rocketman? ‘Fuck - I love you so much’
(of course, I also love you so much, my clever boy.)
01/24 @ 8:30pm
Darling - it’s going to take me a little longer to come up with any commentary you deem appropriate, so for the sake of time, yes. I gotta read this story in full. I’ll be at the library at my earliest convenience. ‘The client’ will send an annotated copy with his notes henceforth.
01/24 @ 8:32pm
Of course, sweet boy. Goodnight, I love you so much. x
01/25 @ 11:44am
As promised, my darling girl. Love you.
[b.bradshaw_the rocket man_final paper.pdf]
01/25 @ 7:14pm
Oh Bradley! I love you so much, rocketman. Yes, I couldn’t have said it better. Yours x
01/26 @ 10:39am
Bradley! They’re sending me to London in February for two weeks! I even get a swanky corporate apartment for the stay. I wish you could come with me - even if it was just for a long weekend? We could go to all my favorite restaurants and afternoon tea and for walks in all the parks. One day it’ll work out!
But tragedy of all tragedies! I just realized I’m going to miss a couple cooking lessons when I’m in London! I already emailed the instructor before today’s class and she said there’s other classes throughout the week that are behind us, so I can make it up with them! Ahhh I’m so excited! Talk soon, love you!
01/26 @ 11:13pm
I didn’t realize how nervous I was about the trip until I went to bed tonight. It’ll be my first trip abroad since I got my promotion in November. Plus, it’s a completely different client than my last trip abroad and I’ve only met one person on this new London team before. Sometimes I go into these meetings and still feel like a little kid? I’m always the youngest person in the room and normally the only woman and on one hand, that’s cool? But sometimes I feel like someone’s daughter instead of their colleague? Like these guys are my dad’s age? And they’re actually supposed to listen to what I have to say about their company? Do you ever feel like that? Like you don’t really belong, despite knowing you’ve earned your place? I wish you were beside me right now. My bed feels way too big tonight. Love you.
01/27 @ 7:48am
Sweetheart! I am so unbelievably proud of you! That’s amazing! You gotta celebrate, go out to dinner with Caro and Darcy, maybe even Nat! I know you’ve been working so hard these last couple of weeks, you absolutely deserve this. I can’t say I know exactly what you’re going through, but yes. I have absolutely felt like I haven’t belonged or deserved something despite having ‘checked off all the boxes.’ I felt that way when I got promoted to LC and when I got that award in October. Everytime I see it on my uniform, I feel a bit like a faker? Like do I really deserve this? But then I remember the way you smiled at me when I got back to my seat that night and how proud of me you were and I think maybe I do deserve it? Plus, I also think of how goddamn gorgeous you looked all fucked out later that night.
And please note, I would happily slip into bed alongside you, especially since my bed feels way too small tonight. Love you, Bradley
01/27 @ 10:56am
Thank you for earlier. I don’t know, sometimes I just feel like I’m just too soft for all of this? Like I’m always trying to prove something to everyone and I get a little lost. Tell me something good? x
01/27 @ 7:01pm
How about this? Every time I go up in the sky and see the way the sun hits the clouds, I think of you. I’ve never wanted to be with someone as much as I want to be with you. I love you so much, kid
Your Bradley
01/27 @ 7:06pm
Sometimes I can’t believe we love each other this much, it feels like a dream x
01/27 @ 7:11pm
I can. Your Bradley
01/30 @ 7:08am
i slept in one of your shirts last night. it doesn’t smell like you anymore, but it feels like you: soft and safe and warm x
01/30 @ 7:23am
Well I spray my pillowcase with your perfume whenever I miss you so I guess we’re even
Your Bradley
ps - can you send me another bottle?
01/30 @ 7:34am
You’re already out? What sort of illicit behavior are you engaging in with that perfume bottle?
01/30 @ 10:33pm
I burrow my face in my pillow so I can smell it while I fist my cock, why? What’d you have in mind?
01/30 @ 10:37pm
How does that work though? Like genuinely? Do you jack off with Rueben in the top bunk? Or wait till he’s in the gym? I’ve been curious about this for a while now. What about the showers? Is it like an open floor plan thing? Or are there stalls? Is there a Zillow listing for this aircraft carrier?
01/30 @ 10:41pm
Now why would I ruin the mystery?
01/30 @ 10:43pm
Bradley!!!!
01/30 @ 10:44pm
Atta girl, that’s the spirit! Love you
02/02 @ 6:30pm
I am so sick of going to the gym. It seems like it’s all Payback and I do lately. We got this new workout regime that’s been killing me - don’t say it’s because I’m old. Though, I have been using my Theragun. Payback does my back if I do his in return. It was only awkward the first time he turned it on too hard and yelped (please tell everyone that).
02/02 @ 6:46pm
Oh, so you and Rueben Theragun each other, huh? Say more Lieutenant Commander!
02/04 @ 2:45pm
Going to Pete and Penny’s in a bit to watch the Super Bowl! Max is at the game, apparently his golf buddy Jimmy G hooked him up, though he neglected to bring me or Caroline. I feel like you would’ve been his first choice, so take that as a compliment I suppose. Do you guys do anything onboard for it? I have $350 on the 49ers winning by 3. Have a lovely day my darling boy x
02/04 @ 9:30pm
Guess who’s as snug as a bug on a rug in her bed AND $1400 dollars richer? That would be me! When you get home we’re going to Juniper and Ivy, my treat, bubs! x
02/06 @ 4:57am
Awww sweetheart are you gonna sugar mama me again?
02/06 @ 7:03am
You do know the only reason you’re getting away with that is because there’s an ocean between us, right?
02/06 @ 6:00pm
Sorry, couldn’t resist! Love you! B
02/06 @ 6:10pm
You’re lucky I love you so much. x
02/08 @ 9:58pm
Can you imagine if I was gone for 20 years?
02/08 @ 10:11pm
Bradley that’s not funny
02/08 @ 10:13pm
It’s not supposed to be. I’m reading the Odyssey and it got me thinking.
02/08 @ 10:16pm
Bradley I love you something awful, but you are such an old man sometimes.
Are you going through some sort of midlife crisis reading the Odyssey while you’re at sea?? Is the Old Man and the Sea next?
(ps i love the thought of you reading in your bunk in your spare time and being so struck by something composed thousands of years ago that you have to email me)
02/08 @ 10:20pm
They wait 20 years to get back to each other - practically half their lives. They miss so many things and barely knew each other before he left, but they’re still so - I don’t even know? They’re just so intent on getting back to the other in Odysseus’s case? While Penelope makes sure there’s something for him to come back to? And I must’ve read this stanza ten times before I had to email you:
"...the gods cast me upon Ogygia, Calypso's island, home of the dangerous sea nymph with glossy braids, and the goddess took me in in all her kindness, welcomed me warmly, cherished me, even vowed to make me immortal, ageless, all my days - but she never won the heart inside me, never"
And I know it’s not a perfect comparison or parallel, but I read that last bit and I couldn’t help but think of you? And how you’re the one who won my heart and it’s always going to be that way. Whether I see you in twenty seconds or twenty years.
02/08 @ 10:23pm
You’d come home to me whether it took twenty seconds or twenty years. You’d come home to me and I’d know you anywhere. I love you so much.
02/08 @ 10:58pm
“Now help me, please, to get back home, and quickly! I miss my family. I have been gone so long it hurts.”
Your Bradley
02/09 @ 7:03pm
At the airport for London! Taking off! And I may or may not have used points to upgrade to a Club World seat…but like? It’s a nonstop flight, so it’s okay, right? Work’s already paying for business class? It’s points from my work card? It’ll be fine, right?
I had to take an ativan in the lounge. I just hate that I still get so nervous whenever I fly long distance? I fly all the time, I shouldn’t be like this? You know, one time, I pretended you were flying my plane. I know it’s kind of dumb and silly and a completely different type of plane, but it made me feel better because you’d never let anything happen to me.
Anyway, we’re book buddies!! I went to the bookstore a couple days ago and got a copy! I read the Odyssey back in high school, but forgot so much. I was reading in the lounge and this part made me think of you:
“...this lovely house, my marriage home, so full of wealth and life, which I suppose I will remember even in my dreams.”
I’ll text you when I land my darling boy, love you x
02/10 @ 6:02am
You gotta squeeze every last bit of your per diem out of pwc. You’ve been working way too hard lately. Fuck it, on the way home just put the upgrade on your work card or put it on mine. Have a safe (rest of your) flight - maybe one day you’ll let me take you up. Love Bradley
02/10 @ 10:08am
Just landed and on my way to the office (already…)
I thought of you as I read and stared out the window on the plane. I could pretend I’m flying towards you, rather than further away. I can’t imagine how you feel doing this everyday, but I imagine it’s like feeling limitless, like everything is in front of you, there for the taking. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll let you take me up one day.
I’ll keep you posted on how everything’s going if you do the same. All my love x
02/12 @ 5:49am
How’s it going, kid? They working you too hard? You’re in London! Try to enjoy it, you deserve it. One of the guys I’m with gave me a restaurant recommendation for you, said the drinks were amazing, his wife loved it. Do something fun while you’re there! And send me some pictures dammit!
Love you,
Bradley
02/12 @ 8:22am
Bradley! It’s been so so crazy here! I feel like I haven’t stopped since I landed. My ‘flat’ is so cute and right by the client’s offices, so it’s an easy commute. I feel so professional taking the Tube places too! It’s one thing I’d like us to have in San Diego as opposed to all the traffic. Also, it’s CHILLY here and I’m so glad I dug my big coat out of storage. I’ll try and check the restaurant out this weekend, I’m gonna sneak in a trip to the Tate, too. I’ve always wanted to see the Turners. Talk soon and love you bunches! x
02/14 @ 9:54am
Bradley Bradshaw! You absolute SAP! HOW!?! Did you conspire with my dad again? Thank you for the flowers! I’m going to have the biggest smile on my face all day. I love you and hope this is the first of a lifetime of Valentine’s Days together. Always x
02/14 @ 7:33pm
Happy Valentine’s Day to you too, kid. I’m not gonna lie, I gave your dad very specific instructions for the bouquet (I was going to ask Max, but he’d probably swap it for something ugly and cheap and keep the change…kidding (not)), so I’m glad they turned out well. It was a very big day on board today: we got special red heart cookies for the holiday. The mood was infectious, I can still taste the sprinkles. Maybe you could cook for me on our next Facetime? Have you learned anything good in class lately? It doesn’t have to be fancy, just wanna see you (and maybe also live vicariously through whatever you’re making).
02/14 @ 7:33pm
Bradley! I think I can swing that for you, when do you think our next call will be?
02/16 @ 3:18pm
Kid, you spoil me. This package is amazing, I don’t know where to start (just kidding it’s with the Cadbury chocolate and the Sudocrem as my burnt shoulders thank you), but everything is wonderful, thank you. I love hearing about London and seeing the pictures you sent last time. But I do have one complaint…you’re not in any of the pictures, kid, and that’s truly egregious. (Think we won’t be able to Facetime for a while, I gave Payback my slot the other day.)
02/16 @ 3:23pm
That’s not true! I’m in the one in front of the Tate!
02/16 @ 3:25pm
Yeah, but I can’t see you under all those layers! Just want to see your face. It’s been way too long since our last Facetime.
02/16 @ 9:52pm
As requested, Lieutenant Commander. I had one of the girls in the London office take this at dinner tonight. She really did wonders with the lighting and even managed to get my sidecar in the pic! x Love you
02/17 @ 6:55am
You look pretty. New dress? B
02/17 @ 7:17am
Maybe…it was on sale, couldn’t resist. But you’re gonna hate me because all of my clothes are very much not going to fit in your closet. Also, I bought you a new jacket and some socks. x
02/17 @ 7:20am
Ehhh I’m not too worried about the closet thing. But if you keep buying me clothes we might have a problem.
02/17 @ 7:24am
It’s so cute though!! You’re going to look so handsome in it! I got the green one for you!
02/17 @ 7:29am
Okay, admittedly a very nice jacket, thank you. But you are aware that we live in San Diego…
02/17 @ 7:31am
I am aware of that fact, LC Bradshaw. You can wear it when we visit my parents. Hell, I had to get my coat out of my storage closet for this trip.
02/17 @ 6:53pm
Sighhhhh you raise a good point. Alright, alright, thank you for the jacket and socks my darling girl. What’d you have for dinner last night? We had chicken with these absolutely awful biscuits, tasted like saw dust, my stomach was growling for some more of that Cadbury chocolate (yes, Payback and I ate all of it already, though it was mainly Payback) for hours afterward.
02/17 @ 6:59pm
Oh my sweet boy! Who do I need to call about your meal plan? Give me the number and I’ll call the Navy up right now. And I had scallops with truffle risotto. It was delicious. Wanted to lick the bowl clean. Love you bubs x
02/19 @ 10:22pm
Bubs, I cannot eat another meal out. I feel like I’m going to burst. I’ve gone to so many work dinners and lunches even before coming here, it almost makes me feel like a glutton.
I miss you and your cooking (though I’ll have you know that my skills were vastly improving before my trip abroad!) and you standing behind me at the counter while I try to perfectly cut peppers. Sometimes I do it wrong on purpose so you’ll put your arms around me and I can feel the rumble of your voice. Would we call that weaponized incompetence? You better be ready for some Michelin Star meals when you get home, buddy. I just can’t wait to be home with you and roll over next to you in the morning and to tell you to stop snoring and that the battery in the smoke detector needs to be changed. I can’t wait to be home with you and make a life with you. I’m going to be really sappy now, but let me have this because I was reading this poem the other day and thought of you.
“I am supposed to be touched. I can’t wait to find the person who will come into the kitchen just to smell my neck and get behind me and hug me and breathe me in and make me turn around and make me kiss his face and put my hands in his hair even with my soapy dishwater drips. I am a lovely woman. Who will come into my kitchen and be hungry for me?” (x)
Only a month until you’re home with me, I hope you’re hungry.
All my love x
02/20 @ 4:50am
It’s only weaponized incompetence if the other person minds. I, however, do not mind. I loved that quote you sent me, going to be thinking about that one for a long time. I hate to tell you this, but I’m gonna be offline for a couple days. I hate that it’s at the end of your trip, but please please message me when you’re leaving/taking off and again when you land, you know I worry. Love you and am so unbelievably proud of you, kid! You killed it in London. Your Bradley
02/20 @ 7:03am
That’s okay, I totally understand. I’ll give you all the details on our next Facetime. In the meantime, I message you when I leave. Stay safe and love you, Bradley! x
02/23 @ 3:45pm
Taking off soon! I got an upgrade again, thankfully! And I made sure to put your new coat in my carry on - I don’t trust British Airways not to lose it! Taking an ativan again so hopefully I’ll sleep the entire flight - love you and talk soon!
02/24 @ 10:33pm
Just landed, slept through….90% of the flight! Apparently, there was bad turbulence, so probably for the best. Now, I know you would never have me deal with that my darling rocketman! Talk later - love you! x
02/25 @ 7:09pm
Feels kind of weird being back? I can’t quite get back into my routine. I’m not sure if it’s jet lag or something else? Feeling a little lost? x
02/26 @ 7:55pm
Bradley!!! You were so good, I’m so so proud of you! Max had everyone over at his place for us to watch you! We have quite the party here including my parents, Pete, Penny and Amelia, Natasha, Mickey and Cielo, Caroline, and Darcy. I’ll have to tell you about the parents meeting later. I wish you had been here for it, they took to each other like bees to honey.
You looked tragically handsome, I practically had to hold back a moan when you were standing on the flight deck talking to Norah O’Donnell (is she as nice in person as she is on TV?). God, I want to ravish you, you sounded so fucking smart. You know like half the country is going to be in love with you now, right? I’ve got to get back to everyone, Max ordered dinner for us afterwards, but I had to email you as soon as you finished!
Just wanted to let you know how proud of you I am and how much I love you x
02/27 @ 5:09am
Thanks, kid. Sorry it took me a bit to respond, things have been getting a bit crazy, you know, now that I’m a celebrity and all? We’re winding down this training, so the next couple weeks are gonna be full of debriefs and paperwork, which means I should have a more stable schedule. Love you B
02/28 @ 11:48pm
Sometimes I wonder if you were here what would you do? Hold me? Love me? I never feel small except when I’m in your arms. x
02/29 @ 11:48pm
Some nights in bed, if I try really hard, I can imagine I’m laying down next to you. And it makes everything just a little easier. Bradley
03/01 @ 12:56am
I haven’t taken anything besides my fingers in months. You’re going to stretch me out so well when you get home.
03/01 @ 7:19pm
And I’m gonna mark your ass pink for that comment. I can’t believe you sent that in the middle of the day. You getting yourself off at work? Dirty girl.
03/01 @ 9:41pm
Never feels as good as when you do it.
03/01 @ 10:01pm
And my hands pale in comparison to your pretty little cunt. You know that first time we slept together you were so fucking tight, I knew you hadn’t had a good fuck in ages. It gonna be like that again when I come home?
03/01 @ 10:05pm
Where are you going to have me first?
03/01 @ 10:06pm
In our bed, in our house, after you make me dinner in our kitchen.
03/01 @ 10:09pm
Just over two weeks now, I can’t wait to see you. x
03/03 @ 5:55am
How you holding up, kid? You doing a little better this week work wise? Try and log off around 5 if you can. Don’t want you getting all worn down on me.
They had us doing these war games yesterday that made me think of you. You would’ve walked circles around some of these other guys I swear. Think I can get a Facetime for us in a couple days? Probably will be our last one before I come home. Love you, B
03/03 @ 7:12am
Bradley! That's the best news I’ve had in ages! I can’t wait to see you! Definitely felt a little lost after coming back from London, but I hope my rut will be over soon? Tying things up with a client is always so lengthy and tedious.
War games! ‘Would you like to play a game?’ I’d ask if you won, but no one ever wins in the art of war 😉Love you!
03/05 @ 8:54pm
So, here’s a new one. My mom called? She’s going to be stateside and wants to get lunch tomorrow. Could’ve done with a bit more warning, but apparently, she has a layover in San Diego on her way to New York to see my brother? I didn’t even know she was going to see him? I don’t even know if I want to see her? It’s funny, I can already tell you exactly how it’ll play out:
We’ll go to lunch at some sort of vegan restaurant, probably Donna Jean
She’ll make me pay
She’ll try to get me to use some sort of herb to promote weight loss since I’m looking a bit “pudgy” around the face
Though she’ll forget to ask about you, she’ll tell me about her latest string of failed relationships with bartenders and surf instructors in Canggu. Or is it Ubud? I genuinely don’t remember, she started in Ubud, but honestly my knowledge of Balinese geography is rudimentary at best
She’ll ask how ‘that woman’ is doing as if Mary is just the woman my dad is seeing, not the woman who raised me and my brother
And finally, she’ll ask for money though betting is still open as to what for!
So, what do you say? Wanna put a wager on it? Your terms.
Love you! x
03/06 @ 6:30am
$100 she orders the caesar and makes you pay. I’m not even going to entertain the third parlay, pretty girl. Oddly feeling like she’s got a winner on her hands so yes she’ll talk about her new paramour. Does she really call Mary ‘that woman?’ And yes, without a question, she will ask you for money.
Your move my gorgeous girl,
Bradley
03/06 @ 7:49pm
I really wish you were here right now. She doesn’t even know me, but she somehow always manages to make me feel small.
Caesar - no croutons
I paid
Pudgy and frumpy, but she was hawking shakes not herbs
Failed relationship? No, she’s actually GETTING MARRIED
She did not ask about you much other than to say I need to watch my figure for you (see bullet point no. 3)
Mary was called ‘that woman’ six times before I stopped counting
She asked for money as a wedding present
So, you didn’t get them all, but not a bad showing. Love you. Talk tomorrow on Facetime. x
03/07 @ 6:09am
God kid, I’m so sorry. She doesn’t know what she’s missing. Actually, I don’t even think she deserves to know what she’s missing. Did you talk to your dad or Mary about it? I know we’re talking later, but I just wanted you to have a message from me before you start your day. What’re you wearing to the office tomorrow? Have you worn that polka dot dress with the bow lately? You know it’s one of my favorites and that I always love unwrapping it when you get home from the office.
Can’t wait to see you tonight. All my love, Bradley
03/07 @ 9:55am
The dress doesn’t fit. My mom was right, I shouldn’t have gotten the french toast.
I’m planning on talking to dad and Mary later today before you and I have our Facetime. I know they’ll make me feel better, much like you have my darling boy, but it still feels pretty crummy. Especially since I’m sure she’s going to have wonderful time in New York with my brother 🙄 and I’ll have to hear all about it next time I talk to him.
And I’m not sure if I’ve unpacked that dress yet! I’ll have to do some digging. Talk soon! x
03/10 @ 3:26am
We had a little baby. He was always giggling and laughing and we were making silly faces and he looked so small in your arms, Bradley. So small and little and he was ours. And then I turned around and he was toddling around the house and we were chasing him and his little legs were moving so quickly and we all wound up on the couch in a tangle of limbs, giggling under the blankets as we tickled him and he called you daddy.
It wasn’t our house - or what will be our house, I guess? Instead of the leather couch you have, it was white and big and wide and the three of us could easily fit on it, snuggled together.
And I could feel your arms around me, rocking me back and forth. I could feel you humming in my ear and kissing my neck and telling me you loved me. I could feel it. I could feel you. I could feel him and you. And it was nice and I felt warm and safe and cherished and loved. Because I felt so much love for this little boy in my arms - the perfect mix of me and you. Everything felt right and perfect.
Except when I rolled over in bed to tell you about it, I realized I was alone in my bed, in my apartment, and not in the house that we shared or with the little boy that looked so much like you and I haven’t felt so empty and sad since I can’t remember when.
And I just miss you so much, Bradley. I know I can come across as glib and unfeeling sometimes and like this doesn’t affect me as much. But it does and sometimes I feel like my heart is going to burst because I’ve never felt like this for anyone else before? It’s never been so easy for me to love someone and let them love me to the point that I always want to be beside them. And I know with your job - and mine - that can’t always happen, but god Bradley I wish you were here right now so you could hold me and tell me you loved me because I just want to feel your arms around me and know you’re real. I want to tell you about the little boy - the perfect mix of me and you.
I love you rocketman x
03/11 @ 12:49pm
I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. I realize that’s a lot to drop on you, especially since we can’t talk in person. I guess I’ve just never missed a person more in my life and seeing that future showed me what we could have when you come home. God, Bradley I want you to come home so badly. I want you to stay here with me forever and never leave and to have that cute little boy who was the perfect mix of me and you and to have you here in my arms every night. And I know it’s selfish of me to ask or even make you think about it, but I want you right here - in twenty seconds, not twenty years.
How did your hop go today? x
03/11 @ 7:03pm
I have dreams like that, too. I’ll be little, but still older than I was when my dad died and we’ll be at the beach, running around, and he’ll pick me up and spin me around like I’m flying on an airplane.
But then it’ll be me and my kid, running around and I’ll pick them up and spin them around like they’re flying on an airplane. Sometimes it’s a girl, sometimes a little boy. But I always just can feel and tell that I love them and I’d do anything for them.
And I used to hate waking up alone after I had them and I’d feel empty and sad and like I had the feeling that they should still be there? Except now I have you and I know it doesn’t just have to be a dream?
Sorry it took me so long to reply. Today was hectic and I didn’t get to check my email until later. But if I checked it earlier, my day would’ve been a lot easier on my heart.
All my love,
Your Bradley
03/12 @ 7:11pm
How do you always know exactly what to say? I’m sorry for springing that all on you, know it wasn’t exactly a quick/easy message, but I love that you knew exactly what I meant. My day’s always a lot easier on my heart when I hear from you, too. Love you x
03/13 @ 10:17pm
i miss having you around to take care of me. and telling me what to do and what to wear for you and how you want me and where you want me and when you want me and and and. and how good i feel around you as you come, how you take what’s yours. how i need you to take control and tell me what i need because i’m too much of a dumb slut to figure it out on my own. i need you so much bradley. and it’s so hard because i’m trying to take care of myself like you do and imagine what you’d do if you were with me right now. but i’m so frustrated since no one takes care of me like you do. i feel so empty. nothing stretches me out like you do, nothing makes me feel as small as you do, nothing makes me flush like the sound of your voice against my neck as i come, nothing soothes the ache inside me like you do. need you to call me good girl, pretty girl, sweet girl, anything as long as it’s yours.
i need you i need you i need you i need you bradley bradley bradley bradley
3/13 @ 10:39pm
Awwww sweetheart, did you get yourself all worked up over me? It’s okay, I know it’s hard for you all by yourself. Must’ve been real bad for you to risk this getting flagged, huh? Poor thing, don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.
Want you to pretend I’m next to you, leaning over you as you lay down and touch yourself. Say yes Bradley, more Bradley. Bradley, Bradley, Bradley. Good girl.
Want you naked under the covers, no frilly little pajama set or anything. No, I want your cum to stain the sheets and then for you to have to clean up in the morning, all embarrassed because you did this. You made yourself like this because you can’t control yourself without me around. All that cum being wasted. Nobody around to lick it off your pussy. So what doesn’t get on the sheets, you have to taste. Good girl.
Want you to use your fingers - only your fingers, I’ll know if you use anything else. Start with your breasts. Think of how perfectly they fit in my hands and how yours aren’t quite the same. They aren’t as big. Aren’t as strong. Play with your nipples, drag your nails across the soft skin on the underside of your breasts.
Want you to sigh my name as you slide your hands down your stomach towards your pretty little pussy. Have you shaved? Gotten a wax? You know how I like it, want it just like that when I get home. Pretend it’s my fingers sliding into your cunt. A few touches and you’re already clenching on air and I’m not even around.
In and out, in and out. Circle your clit with your thumb. Add another finger, then another. You rocking your hips yet? I know you’re soaked. I know you want more. Three fingers can’t stretch you out nearly as much as you need. But I don’t know if you can handle anything else without me around. And I know you would never disagree with me, right? Because you’re my good girl and good girls do what they’re told.
Don’t hesitate to get loud. You’re in our house, in our bed, you can be as loud as you want. Bet you’re getting close, huh? Try and last a little longer, can you hear yourself and how wet you are? Are you shaking yet? I know you’re close. Go ahead, speed up your fingers, just the way I do. It’s okay, you can come. Know you’re gonna get sleepy soon, wish I could sleep inside you, nice and tight.
Now say thank you Bradley. Good girl.
03/14 @ 5:49pm
Thank you, Bradley. Thank you for taking care of me last night
You like chicken piccata, right?
03/14 @ 7:33pm
Yeah, kid, I like chicken piccata.
03/14 @ 7:39pm
Okay, that’s good. I’m going to make it when you come home. I ran it by my cooking instructor. Ina’s recipe of course.
(I’ve read your email seven times since you sent it. I’ve thought about it constantly. I want you to take me softly and slowly that first time. But after that? I can’t wait to let go and float. Love you so much x)
03/15 @ 6:09am
You’re the boss. Good thing I’ll be home soon, you’re gonna run out of material. As is, I had to type that last one with one hand.
Love you,
B
03/15 @ 7:21am
I’ll be good till you get home, promise.
Have a good day, do you think we’ll get to talk much from now till Friday? Love you x
03/15 @ 7:24am
I’ll hold you to it.
I don’t think so, might be able to send one out before leaving the boat. Better make it a good one.
All my love
Your Bradley
03/15 @ 7:25am
You got it! Love you bubs
03/18 @ 11:08pm
Kid - there’s this lyric that keeps running through my head: ‘and I want you right here.’ I want you beside me - today, tomorrow, all my days. I want you right here, beside me forever. In twenty seconds, not twenty years. See you tomorrow.
All my love,
Your Bradley
03/18 @ 11:11pm
See you tomorrow, rocketman. I’ll be the one in blue.
Love you x
a/n: thanks for reading! i'll be back with part ii and part iii (hopefully not in...4 months). i had so much fun writing these and getting to explore a different format and side to their relationship! thanks to alexa @sometimesanalice, kylie @ofstoriesandstardust, cass @notroosterbradshaw, elle @dissonannce, nik @cherrycola27, and loren @heartsofminds for all the support!
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I posted 1,439 times in 2021
103 posts created (7%)
1336 posts reblogged (93%)
For every post I created, I reblogged 13.0 posts.
I added 84 tags in 2021
#answered - 25 posts
#my thoughts - 15 posts
#advice - 9 posts
#me - 9 posts
#lifestyle - 9 posts
#entrepreneur - 4 posts
#smallbuisnessowner - 4 posts
#blog - 3 posts
#blog post - 3 posts
#vlog - 3 posts
Longest Tag: 71 characters
#they literally be on that app at 8 am talkin shit like go get sum money
My Top Posts in 2021
#5
Prepping for the next 6 months of 2021
Hello 🤎
We have 6 months of this year left, can you believe it? And if you're anything like me, you're an organized neat freak who's life has to be in order at all times even when it's not 😂 Let's do this.
1. PLAN:
What is it that you want to get accomplished in the next 6 months? New job/career? Buy a car? Lease an apartment? Figure out what your end goal is for 2021 and take action.
For me, it's getting an apartment. By December 2021, I want my own living space. My own home to call home, so when I step into 2022, it'll be in a new & fresh environment. Now, how am I going to do that you may ask? By planning.
When I say planning, this is what I mean:
- How are you going to achieve your goal?
- What are you willing to sacrifice to meet your goal?
- How are you going to stay focused to meet your goal?
- How are you going to stay organized to meet your goal?
Take a minute to answer these questions by journaling it down.
2. TAKE ACTION:
Now that you have in mind what you want to do before the end of the year, it's time to take action & proceed. However you're going to accomplish your goal, whether it's by working, legally or illegally is completely your business, just put in the work by any necessary means.
- Work consistently, whatever your job is, go to work everyday (obviously we as humans need a break/rest) but work hard. Don't kill yourself, but remember what you're doing it for.
3. STAYING FOCUSED:
The main problem that a percentage of people have (including me, I'm not perfect) with sticking to a goal is remaining focused. We get so easily discouraged & unmotivated it's quite shameful. We see other people's lives and are so ashamed that we're not in the position they are that we completely lose all hope. You're not going to achieve any life changing goal like that. Some things that I do to remain motivated and focused are:
- Delete social media. This is where our main insecurities come from, hence me mentioning earlier, looking into other people's lives. We have no idea what's really going on or how they got to the position they're in. Just focus on what you're trying to achieve to better YOUR life.
- Stay down for 30 days. When I say this, I mean, not going out, not spending money: nightclubbing, dining out, shopping, etc... anything that's not a necessity for you to survive in life, cut it out. I'm not saying cut off your social life completely & become a ghost, but something along that line. With focus comes discipline, & it is very easy to lost focus when you're out partying all the time with your friends. Just remember what your end goal is and how successful you will be when you reach it.
When you reach your end goal for 2021 & all the hard work has paid off, you'll be so proud of yourself. You'll be able to sit back, relax, & reflect that all of it was worth it completely. Just don't get too comfortable.
Good luck 🤍
384 notes • Posted 2021-06-22 16:35:47 GMT
#4
Me daydreaming in the mirror 24/7 thinking about how fine I’ma be after all my workout sessions this summer 💅🏾
399 notes • Posted 2021-03-23 21:01:40 GMT
#3
SUMMER 2021 SELF-CARE TIPS & ROUTINES
It's June 6th, 2021 11:21 AM as I type this and all I can think about is how these next 3 months of summer are going to play out for me. It's going to be a very fun, successful, blessed, & luxurious summer for all my girlies. In this post, I'm going to be putting you all on game to have a summer routine and tips to ensure you're the baddest on the scene.
SUMMER MORNING ROUTINE:
Pray
Make your bed & open your blinds/curtains every morning
Eat a healthy & nutritious breakfast
Drink a glass of water, a glass of water in the morning help wakes you up
Wash your face with your favorite cleanser, brush your teeth, shower, & groom yourself for the day
Pick out your outfit for the day, accessorize & style
Beat your face with a natural look. It's the summer time so you don't want to look cakes or sweat your face off
Write down everything you have to accomplish for the day & get to it, if you don't get to finish your list, mark it off for the next day
SUMMER NIGHT ROUTINE:
Your day is done & now it's time to wind down for the night. You did everything on your todo list & now you just want to relax.
Shower/Bubble bath: After a long day of being a busy girl, you want to wind down & relax. Do so by hopping in the shower or taking a bubble bath using your favorite scents
Spray yourself with your favorite body spray or perfume & rub down with some aromatherapy lotion
Meditate: Get away from the phone & social media & get your mind ready for a new successful day
SUMMER SELF - CARE TIPS:
Take vitamins everyday
Drink water everyday
Workout 3-4x a week
Buy yourself something new, YOU DESERVE IT (purse, shoes, clothes, high end makeup, eau de parfum, etc...)
Keep your hair, nails, & toes done (It's the summer, toes will be out & hair will be blowing in the wind)
Go to brunch with your homegirls
Plan a trip with your boo or homegirls
Meditate & pray daily
Try yoga
Pick up a hobby (painting, tennis, swimming, blogging, cooking, baking, learning an instrument, etc)
Take pictures/make memories
HAVE FUN
XOXOXO 🤎
437 notes • Posted 2021-06-07 17:31:45 GMT
#2
Inspired by @2pretty, I’ve decided to create my own personal organization binder. I named it “Rich Bitch Things” hence the theme of my blog 😌 My tabs include personal (lifestyle, routines, goals, & schedules), wishlist (things I’m going to save up & buy) , cleaning (home maintenance, tips & tricks to keep a clean home, & interior design) recipes (breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert, & drinks), secretarial (important documents that I need in my life, resumés, etc)
Thank you so much for giving me this idea, my life is going to be so organized & together 💕
523 notes • Posted 2021-06-25 19:03:29 GMT
#1
I’m going to be the sexiest, intelligent, & richest version of myself by the end of 2021. I put that on everything I love.
6467 notes • Posted 2021-03-02 18:23:39 GMT
Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →
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Lights, Camera, Action
Part seven
(Part six)
Summary: You’re a production assistant on the set of Cursed. The night before your first day at work, you opened your laptop to shockingly realise you’d be working with Daniel Sharman (and a plethora of other amazing actors), someone you’d been watching on screen since you were a teenager. You kept your expectations low, the PAs rarely got to interact with the talent…what was your chance?
Word count: 3.1k
Tag list: @sxperncturalimpala67 @mrsaaronkeener @tinygardensoul @disasterday @5am-cigarette @lancelotapricot @demoiselle-en-detresse00 @slytherlight @18somethingpsyche @ceruleanmusings @glxctt @cavillxhenry @lovelyapplessss @hereagainsstuff @linkpk88 @aliceperdida @weeping-redemption @magicalsaladnacho @ineedyourskulls @fandomarstrash @cheythefangirl @pure-ghost @estrielle @tessxblxckthorn @isaac-lahey-is-bae @bubblyanis @proudhufflepuff77 @dollfacev8 @everlastingdreams @thehatredofshiprrick
Warnings: age gap between reader and Daniel, swearing, slow burn, mentions of sex
Notes: So sorry if this chapter is also a bit all over the place! I’ve been very distracted with school and it’s been a bit harder to find the time to write. All that said, here’s chapter seven and I hope you guys enjoy it!! Sorry again in advance for the lack of Daniel content, but I promisee that the next will have a lot more to make up for it. Thanks for reading!
(picture by @archivesharman)
“We’re good then?” he said, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear.
“Ofcourse….yeah….we were always good” you mumbled.
He smiled at you before turning around and walking away.
What had just happened? You didn’t know if this day was the best you had ever had or the worst.
It was probably both.
As you pulled off your headset, your heartbeat thudded in your ears. Too many thoughts rushed through your mind, some good some bad. Why was he apologising to you? Did he really think he was at fault? And had he actually heard the part where Cassandra mentions you getting nervous around him? Had he noticed your uneasy behaviour? Or was he going to start noticing?
You thought you’d hid it oh so well…that no one could tell you had a weird crush on Daniel. Was it even a crush? Or was it feelings? You barely knew him, you’d have to get over it sooner or later…or atleast you hoped you would.
One part of you wished you could be like Siara. She didn’t give a shit if they were actors. She saw them as regular human beings and nothing more. She didn’t get nervous or starstruck. From what you’d seen, those were the type of people actors felt comfortable around to like and be friends with. Not anxious fangirls like you.
You shook your head, shivering. Why did it have to be so cold?
6:06 pm
You walked into your apartment, which was not much warmer than the outside. You took off your sweater and put on a thicker one, also grabbing a warm blanket and settling on your couch. The second you turned on your tv, you saw that Netflix was recommending Medici to you. You had seen from Daniels instagram that he was starring in the second season. Maybe this was a sign that it was time to watch the first. You clicked play and leaned back into your couch, letting the show whisk you away from your own troubles.
Tuesday, January 15th, 2019
3:32 am
You jerked awake when your phone vibrated on your thigh. You were shocked when you looked down at your watch to see it was half past three. You had only gotten through one episode of Medici before falling asleep from your exhaustion. You contemplated falling asleep again but decided against it, you were starving and hadn’t had anything to eat since 12:30.
You felt oddly refreshed, and felt like going out to get something to eat. You usually weren’t the spontaneous type, especially not at 3 am…but for some reason, your body craved fast food and also the cold night air. You though it out in your head and decided that you could get drive thru and eat it in your car, and by the time you were done, it would be time for work anyways.
You got up and got ready. Freshening up and putting on your “work clothes”. You hadn’t slept for eight hours straight in a while and so didn’t even feel the need to drink your usual cup of morning coffee.
You grabbed your jacket and headed out, your keys jingling as you locked your apartment door.
The night breeze was just as you imagined. The cold crisp air felt oddly refreshing against your face, and you could almost taste the coldness when you inhaled. You had kept your car window down, weirdly craving the chillness.
After a few minutes though, you found yourself shivering and rolled up your car window, licking your lips to warm them. You thought over where to get breakfast (or dinner?), and decided that McDonalds was your best bet. You knew they’d be open and also exactly what to get.
It took you five minutes to get to your local McDonalds. You pulled into the drive thru window and ordered a McChicken, a large fries, a coke, and an Oreo mcflurry. You usually never ate a big breakfast, especially before work, but you were starving and felt like you could eat their whole menu. Actually, you were holding back.
You got the food, breathing deeply when the hot smell of salty fries wafted towards your nose. There was a 7/11 a few shops down so you went and parked in front of it. From you seat, you could clearly see the door of the 7/11, and also the inside through the windows. It was one of the few places open at this time and you loved people watching. Especially people at a store at 4 am in the morning.
You pulled out your food and took a bite, your jaw aching with pleasure. When you took a sip of the coke, you could feel the cool liquid travel down your throat and through your chest. You looked up and saw that there was a cashier inside the 7/11, a teenage boy. He was sitting on a chair, his eyes droopy.
You tore your eyes from him when you heard a car pull into a parking spot a few spaces away from you. Your eyes widened in confusion when you saw Bradley step out. You knew your next actions were stupid and immature but you still went ahead.
You quickly (but carefully) put your food down on the seat next to you, and with unnatural swiftness, pushed/jumped yourself onto the back seat, lying flat on your back so he wouldn’t see you. You hoped he hadn’t seen the car move, but you don’t think he did since a second later you saw him walk into the 7/11, unbothered. You took a deep breath looking at your watch, it was 4:12 am. Huey had texted you saying that the crew and actors both would have an early start today. You would have to be at the studio by 5:00, which was 10 minutes from the store.
The position you were in wasn’t uncomfortable, but it was definitely getting slightly hard to breath. What the fuck were you doing? You should just get up and continue eating, he probably wouldn’t see you anyways.
Before you could, you saw him coming out and froze, holding your breath. You saw him look into your car but not at you, just at the empty front seats. There was a small box in his hand but you couldn’t tell what it was. You waited for his car to pull out but after waiting for almost thirty seconds, you got increasingly confused. Suddenly the car started shaking rhythmically and your eyes widened when you realised what he was doing.
He was busy now so you quickly got up and climbed into the front seat.
Seriously? He was really having sex in a car an hour before work? It was odd but you weren’t one to judge. You actually envied his spontaneity.
You started your car and drove away.
4:50 am
You opened the door of your car and got out, locking it behind you. You felt sick from all the food you ate, especially since it was right after you woke up. After you had driven away from the 7/11, you had decided to just eat in the studio’s parking lot and wait until it was time for work. Now.
You walked towards the building, rubbing your hands up and down your arms, your keys jingling in between your fingers. It was freezing this early in the morning.
When you walked into the studio, you were surprised to see all of the PAs except Bradley and Jay standing in a group together, talking to Huey. You walked over and greeted them, standing next to Siara. Huey was looking through the papers and you took the opportunity to ask her what exactly was happening.
“What’re you guys talking about?” you whispered.
She turned to you, also speaking quietly, “Something about how we might have to travel somewhere”
“Us?” you said surprised.
She nodded. You swallowed, trying to lessen your excitement. They would probably want the more experienced PAs anyways.
Huey cleared his throat and you turned to look at him.
“Alright. Please listen carefully since I’m not going to repeat this”
Everyone nodded and he continued, “To make a long story short, we’re going to be moving filming to England in two weeks and we want all of you to come with us. It’s fine if you’re unable to, but it would be extremely convenient for the production if our crew were mostly the same”
He paused and you took a glance at Siara. Her expression was blank. You sighed looking away and at Huey, who was now speaking again.
“All expenses, plane tickets and accommodation are payed for. Along with lunch, breakfast is also included. We’ll be in England for nine months with a two week break every three months”
Distraught spread through you as you realised you would have to be in England for nine fucking months…only if you accepted.
You nodded as Huey handed a folder to each of you, “This has all of the information you’ll need…if you decide to come, sign this and give it to me before the end of this week”. He walked away, leaving you all to discuss what you were to do.
Louis spoke up first, smiling widely, “Please tell me you guys are coming, you have to come”, he sounded like an excited child.
You beamed, “I really want to…but, it’s more than half a year”, you saw a sad expression spread over his face.
“I’m going…I’ve always wanted to visit Europe” you heard Siara say.
“Come on Y/N” Louis said looking at you.
“I’ll decide when I go home and let you both know” you said smiling. You wanted to go so bad, but the thought of nine months away from home terrified you. Even if you could visit.
10:48 pm
You had just gotten out of the shower and settled into your bed after drying off. Your work day had been exciting of course, but definitely not as eventful as yesterday. You hadn’t interacted with Daniel except your usual “hey”. You had talked to Jasmine about the change in shooting and she had told you that her and Cassandra were definitely going. Although you hated Cassandra, Jasmine was one of your closest friends on set and that made the decision much easier.
You pulled out your phone and opened your’s and Louis’ chat.
Y/N Hey, good news! I’ve decided I’m gonna come. I’m gonna miss Talia, but this is a once in a lifetime opportunity and I don’t wanna miss out at all!! I'm so excited [10:29 pm]
Louis What?? That’s great! I honest don’t know what I would’ve done without you [10:32 pm]
Y/N Hahaha We’ll def talk more about it at work tomorrow, I think I should really sleep now lmao [10:33 pm]
Louis Of course of course. Same here...gn! [10:33 pm]
Y/N Gn :) [10:34 pm]
You smiled to yourself before texting Siara as well. She usually took longer to reply so you decided not to wait and turned your phone off.
You were equally nervous, scared, and excited for the trip. You’d get to travel? To another continent? Over a whole ocean? For nine fucking months? And almost for free? You honestly couldn’t believe it. The nine months still scared you but you tried to focus on other things instead. Like the beautiful sights you’d get to see in your time off…and also the places you’d get to shoot scenes. Daniel obviously as well. You wondered for a while if he was happy to go to England too. It was his childhood home.
Friday, January 25th, 2019
5:05 pm
You licked your lips to warm them as you entered Daniel’s trailer and took a deep breath as the warmth inside enveloped you.
It had been two weeks of helping Cassandra and Jasmine and you had finally gotten the hang of it. So far, your first day had still definitely been the most eventful, with you cutting your finger and then Cassandra getting angry at you. The rest of the days had been much better in some ways. You were still very giddy around Daniel, but you had learned how to hide it.
It was also much easier since you were more confident in what you were doing. You had actual jobs, like removing his make up and getting his skin ready…things which Jasmine used to do before you. Now that you did it, it gave Cassandra and Jasmine both more time to focus on his actual make up and hair. Cassandra wasn’t much better. She hadn’t blown up on you again like she had that day, but there was a significant increase in scowls, eyebrow raises, and dissaproving looks in general. If looks could kill, you’d be dead ten times over.
“Hi Y/N” Jasmine said, as you closed the door behind you. You looked around and saw that Cassandra was absent. Thank God.
“Hey” you replied, grinning. You glanced towards Daniel, who offered you a short smile.
You got to work, pulling out a make up wipe and rubbing down his face gently. You had learned that leaving the tears for last was best. That way you could use a separate, stronger wipe on them too.
Although you had done this about ten times now, it always made your flutter to be so near him. It was also odd how accustomed you had gotten with his skin. You noticed whenever he had a new scratch, or a pimple, a tan…any small changes.
For some reason, it made you feel special to be this close to him. It almost didn’t make sense to your brain, how close you were to him everyday, yet how little you actually interacted with and knew about him.
Today you were too busy looking at his eyelashes and didn’t realise you had run your wipe directly over a small cut on his jaw. He hissed slightly, opening his eyes. Jasmine cocked her head towards you both from where she was looking through a make up drawer.
Your mouth hung open in shock as you snatched your hand away from his face. Your eyes fell to where his cut was, and you swallowed. Why did you have to be so distracted and clumsy?
“Oh no, I’m so sorry” you said nervously and rushed over to the sink, wetting the corner of a small towel.
You jogged back over to his chair, being extra gentle as you dabbed the damp corner on the cut, trying to wipe the make up wipe’s liquid away. You then dried it with the dry part of the towel.
“It’s fine really Y/N” he said laughing slightly, “It happened during filming”
Your skipped a beat when you heard him say your name. It was still surreal to you that Daniel Sharman knew you….let alone you name. You smiled slightly before setting the towel down on the counter.
“Is it still stinging?” you said gesturing to his jaw, your hands shaking.
“Oh no, not at all” he said shaking his head. You felt that he wasn’t telling the truth but you let it go. Grabbing the make up wipe, you continued wiping his make up off. It was a much smoother process, and you took the time to ease your racing heart rate.
The flight was tomorrow and you couldn’t help but feel excited every time you thought about it. Louis had informed you that Jay and Bradley had opted out of coming on the trip. You were sad about Jay’s decision, but not so much Bradley’s.
You were happy but also terrified that your work was taking you out of comfort zone. Jasmine had texted you yesterday saying that she’d pick you up so you could both go to the airport together, which made the whole ordeal a whole less nerve wracking.
You had gotten quite used to this trailer, to the studio…..and you hoped that your routine and jobs (that you had finally gotten somewhat good at), wouldn’t change the minute you got to England.
Saturday, January 26th, 2019
2:58 am
You jerked awake and checked your phone, afraid you’d overslept. Nope, there was still a whole two minutes left until your alarm. The flight was at 7:00 am and you had told Jasmine that you wanted to get there atlaeast two and a half hours before. You rather be early and wait in the airport for an hour than be late and miss the flight.
You had thankfully packed everything the night before and it only took you almost forty minutes to get yourself and your bags ready. Just a few minutes after you were done, you phone rang. It was Jasmine.
“Hey, you’re here?” you said, smiling and wheeling your suitcases closer to your apartment’s door. You phone wedged between your cheek and shoulder.
“Yes!” she said sounding excited. You were eager to go too, but you had only slept four hours and were finding it hard to get to her level of excitement.
“Great..I’ll be right down”
It was a struggle, but you managed to get both your suitcases into the elevator and onto the curb outside your apartment building where Jasmine was waiting. The cold night air hit you like a brick, and you felt energy surge through you.
Jasmine got out of her car quickly, “Oh let me help you with those”
You both loaded your suitcases into the trunk of her car. Y
You rubbed you hands together warming them, as you got into the car, you backpack at your feet. Jasmine started the car, beaming.
“You excited?” she said, driving.
“Very” you laughed, turning the heater up. You were tired, but the adrenaline from your excitement kept you wide awake.
4:56 am
It took you guys almost twenty minutes to get the airport, which wasn’t bad. You were now walking through the airport, your luggage hopefully making it’s way onto your plane. You had made it through security smoothly, and there had been no problems with your boarding pass or passport. If there had, Cassandra would’ve probably killed you both.
“What’s the gate number?” you asked Jasmine, who was holding the boarding passes.
“Uhh” she looked at them, “32B”
You nodded, just a little farther. The smell of coffee and food from the various little cafes made your stomach grumble.
You thought your adrenaline would’ve died down by now but it hadn’t. You tried to keep telling yourself that it was because you were travelling to Europe…but inside, you knew the real reason you were so excited.
#daniel sharman#daniel sharman fanfiction#daniel sharman fanfic#daniel sharman fic#isaac lahey#daniel sharman x reader#daniel sharman x oc#daniel sharman x original character#daniel sharman one shot#daniel sharman headcanon#daniel sharman fluff#daniel sharman imagine#cursed#cursed fanfiction#cursed fic#cursed netflix#netflix#cursed x reader#daniel sharman writing
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freedom of the press 06 | t. jefferson
title: freedom of the press 06
pairing: thomas jefferson x reader
words: 15k
warnings: implied sex, suggestive jokes & teasing, thomas has astoundingly shitty timing, lafayette is a huge fucking cockblock, hella fanservice, v v v tender quality time, and then some more implied sex
desc: the 2020 republican presidential frontrunner is an obnoxious, morally bankrupt people-pleaser, but what happens when you become the person he’s most eager to please?
tags: @stargazelaurens @ivory-haired-queens @exoticxchicken8 @assbuttstyles777 @superbarriobrothers @distinguishedpotsticker @fukaaaaaaaa @hereforthepsyche-assessment @ivetoldamillionlies @fangirl570 @thealaddinkid @lasciviouspeach @snazzydoesthings @shy-and-awkward-daveed @rachelhermionerose @soft-weeb-s @gryffinclxw @anamrnk @daveeddiggsit @ayayayayana @marinovakovich @cryinghazelnutt @thefandomgirl03 @a-hopeless-fan @cloudywlw @tinywhim @lolidunnoaboutnow @siriusorionblackiii @fanfic-addict-98— hope i didnt miss anyone; lmk if you want to be added!!
By the time Y/N woke up, the sun was hardly up, the streets were plowed, and the bed was warm. She didn't try to leave it, instead curling further into Thomas's warm embrace when he pulled her close. Huddled alongside him, his skin against hers, she didn't bother to fight the fatigue that still ebbed at her mind, instead letting herself drift peacefully in and out of consciousness. She could feel Thomas's quiet laugh rumble in his chest when she made no move to get up. She didn't process it enough to react when his lips brushed against the crown of her head.
By the next time she woke up, the sun was high in the sky over Washington D.C., the streets were still plowed, but the bed was cold.
She frowned as she pushed herself to sit up, leaning back on a hand as she rubbed her bleary eyes. He'd left without saying a word.
She knew as she peeled the covers off herself, still damp in places with sweat from the previous night, that she shouldn't have expected him to stay.
Why would he have? He was a busy person; it was already... Shit, how had it already reached 2 PM?
She slouched into the bathroom, feeling like a wreck as she wiped the smeared mascara from her face, tied up her wreckage of sleep hair. She couldn't bring herself to take off his undershirt she'd donned the previous night, too cold to sleep in nothing but too exhausted to find some real clothing. (He'd laughed at her for it, but all the same, he didn't give much resistance before offering up his shirt.)
Regardless, they'd done nothing more than sleep together. He had no commitment to hang around any longer. If she were him, she probably wouldn't have stayed either. Still, it would've been nice for him to have said goodbye.
She tried to blink the sleep from her vision as she padded to her kitchen on bare feet; she would force herself to eat something before getting dressed and having to go down to another shift at the diner that evening.
Dry cereal might not have been the pinnacle of health for her just then, but it was easy, and she was in no mood to fight her cravings. When she pulled down a bowl, though, a flash of purple in the corner of her vision gave her pause.
She closed the cabinet absentmindedly as she turned, eyeing the post-it note dubiously from a distance, glancing around her apartment to confirm she was alone. (There hadn't been much question about the matter, but she couldn't be too careful.)
It was a moment later still when she approached it, stifling a yawn, and plucked it from where it'd been stuck onto the countertop.
Death, so called, is a thing which makes men weep, And yet a third of life is passed in sleep.
Y/N raised an exasperated eyebrow at the scrawled note despite the smile she fought back. The handwriting wasn't hard to recognize; not after she'd run her fingers over matching pen marks through a few hundred pages of Byron poetry -- not to mention the fact that there had only been two people in her apartment all night, and she certainly didn't remember writing that.
She shook her head lightly as she went to recycle it, but that time, it was the writing on the back of the paper that made her freeze.
For the next time you need some ancient literature, or for the next time you lock me out in the cold.
(202) 863-4828
Perhaps it wasn't such a gloomy afternoon after all.
------
Unknown Number: [Attachment: 1 image]
Unknown Number: nerd
Thomas grinned down at his phone where it was tucked halfway into his pocket. He'd been in meetings since noon, but after the night he'd had, he was struggling to focus on fundraising numbers and campaign strategy, most of it going in one ear and out the other as he waited restlessly for his phone to buzz. He'd begun to think by then that she wasn't going to reach out.
thomas 🙄: kinda harsh to say that abt someone who's been dead for 200 years
Y/N 🍑👀: ah yes because i was definitely referring to byron
Y/N 🍑👀: not the person who carries around purple sticky notes just to paste byron quotes in people's kitchens
thomas 🙄: you insulting my stationery?
Y/N 🍑👀: just your taste in literary quotes
thomas 🙄: don't be mad just cause i'm right
thomas 🙄: it didn't even wake you up when i left in the morning
thomas 🙄: at that rate you were gonna spend a lot more than a third of your life asleep
Y/N 🍑👀: wouldn't have still been asleep if you hadn't had me up past 4 am
thomas 🙄: is that really a complaint, now?
Y/N 🍑👀: uh??? yes, it is????? i have to deep clean my sheets and my mattress now smh
thomas 🙄: as though it wasn't worth it ;)
Y/N 🍑👀: wasn't worth the cost of the five gallons of bleach i'm gonna need to get the smell out
thomas 🙄: don't even pretend
thomas 🙄: you didn't seem to have any problem last night when i started ruining your sheets
thomas 🙄: you really gonna act like you don't want me to ruin them again?
Y/N could almost hear his voice in the messages, could picture his self-satisfied smile, and she could feel the heat rising in her cheeks as she read and re-read the text.
Y/N 🍑👀: you're paying my laundry bill
thomas 🙄: worth it to me
Y/N 🍑👀: or maybe we'll just have to ruin your sheets next time
Thomas inhaled sharply; his eyebrows shot up. Next time. He wouldn't have thought that just two words could turn him on quite that much.
"Thomas?" His head snapped up, his eyes wide; he'd somehow managed to forget entirely where he was in the few minutes since Y/N had texted him. Thankfully, it was only James who seemed to have noticed.
"Hmm?" He blinked, staring up at James's expectant stare. His gaze flickered across the conference room, and while James was clearly on the border of annoyance, everyone else looked to him curiously. "'M sorry, James, I spaced out for a second thinking about... your proposal for the fundraiser?"
That was the last thing he remembered hearing, and James didn't look impressed. "Right," he said dryly. "Anyway, I was asking how you felt about doing another town hall in D.C."
"Yeah, alright." He nodded, hardly processing the words, and James cocked a brow.
"Really?" He folded his arms. "I'm surprised you're giving in that easily. Last I remembered, you wanted to move your next few town halls up further north."
Thomas shrugged. His palms were sweating as all eyes turned to him for an answer after he'd spent the past ten minutes thinking about something very different from his supporters. "You make a good case for it."
(The fact that he hadn't caught a minute of the advocacy was irrelevant.)
James hadn't bought a word of it, and Thomas could tell from a single glance at him. He made a mental note not to pick someone who could see right through him as a running mate next time.
However, he fabricated a smile, much to Thomas's relief, having no desire to confront him right there or then. "I'm glad. I had a couple venues scouted out, but I'm open to any more suggestions."
"I think we need a new type of place. The same locations again and again get monotonous." Thomas struggled to resist rolling his eyes; he had to remind himself he'd only hired Charles Lee because he was donating more than twice his salary to the campaign.
"So what do you suggest?" He met his eyes skeptically from the other end of the table.
"What about a café?"
"A café?" Another of his campaign staffers who he couldn't identify by name spoke up -- Noah? Nate? Nathaniel? Thomas couldn't help but agree with his incredulity.
"It would be good for you to actually get to know your voters instead of... preaching to them from on high." As Lee continued, his voice close to a sneer, Thomas had to force himself to control his expression. "It would be much more personal for you to finally sit down and meet them."
"I'm runnin' a campaign, not speed-datin' the voters." Out of the corner of his eye, Thomas saw James purse his lips to repress a laugh.
"It's actually an excellent idea." Really, now? He glanced disbelievingly at the woman to his left. "The most common criticism you receive is about thinking yourself above your voting base. It'd be a good chance to lose some of your aristocratic reputation."
Hurtful, but not inaccurate. Thomas nodded, though he knew the skepticism was still clear in his gaze.
"If we do go through with this, where in the city do you propose we hold it?" James didn't seem to appreciate his fundraising proposal being derailed into a meet-and-greet, and by Charles Lee of all people. Thomas was right there with him, his annoyance only compounding when Lee shrugged unhelpfully.
"It's the Jefferson campaign, not the Lee campaign." Charles did make a good point with that. Thomas only wished he'd have thought of it before he decided to wedge his opinion into James's plan like a Republican jigsaw puzzle.
The question gave him pause, however. Were he to be perfectly honest, he didn't know more than five restaurants in the city by name, four of which wouldn't exactly earn him any points as a 'man of the people.' The last, however...
It was probably a poor idea; he'd known that even before he considered it. But it did seem to fit what they were looking for. It was in a low-income neighborhood, run by a family of immigrants. It had a bright atmosphere and an abundance of seating. However, the most tempting part to him wasn't how it'd look to the voters, but being able to see one person's expression when she learned he'd rented the place out for an entire evening.
It might've been a poor idea, but he had to put his campaign first, and the benefits were more than defensible.
He grinned. "Think I got a place in mind."
------
Y/N spent the next few days overthinking the fact that Thomas had left her last text on read. God, why'd she have to go and put the idea of a 'next time' out there? She was sure he didn't want commitment any more than she did, so she must have scared him off.
She hated how tumultuous the past Friday night had left her emotions.
Thankfully, when she arrived at work the following Monday, it didn't take too long for the distractions to come pouring in.
"Y/N!" Her head snapped upwards, her eyes wide as she saw Ashley marching into her office. She wore a smile, but her eyes were narrowed, and Y/N couldn't help the sense of dread building in her stomach.
"Ashley." Her response was wary.
"So your article got a decent bit of attention last Thursday." The words were nice enough, but they were altogether devoid of energy.
"... Thanks?"
"No, that's definitely a good thing; take the compliment." As Ashley circled around to take a seat on the edge of Y/N's desk, however, she tensed in her office chair, trying not to noticeably grip the armrests. "But a lot of it was controversial attention."
"How?" she asked, taken aback. Her brow was furrowed; it was likely the most unbiased article she'd written about the election.
"A lot of our readers seem to think you're siding with the Jefferson campaign toward the end of it." So this was why Ashley had entered looking so skeptical, and Y/N was sure her disbelief was written plainly across her face.
"Seriously? Because I mentioned that they're turning away funding from super PACs, you mean?" Ashley nodded, and Y/N let out a huff of incredulous laughter.
"You don't need to hold back on your critiques, alright? You can go after whatever information you uncover." She either didn't notice the annoyance growing in Y/N's eyes, or she didn't seem to care. "Don't be afraid to use what you uncover."
"And if what I uncover is entirely unrelated to the election?"
"Nothing is unrelated to the election, Y/N. That's exactly what you don't get." Something akin to excitement flashed in Ashley's gaze as she leaned forward toward Y/N, but the hint of vindictiveness gave her pause. "For you, the people are readers, not voters. You're not the one in an election."
Though she shifted further away in her rolling chair, Y/N said, "I'll keep it in mind, but for the time being, it's all been pretty mundane. Haven't found any skeletons in his closet."
"Then make some."
A beat passed; Y/N could only stare up at her boss in disbelief. "Excuse me?"
She rolled her eyes when Y/N didn't seem to be on the same page, which only elicited more worry. "You, as a writer, have grown to national visibility. You have the power to sensationalize things if you want to keep people hanging onto your every word."
"I'll keep it in mind, thanks." Ashley narrowed her eyes further at the bite behind Y/N's words.
"I'm serious. If you want to go further as a reporter, you can't just state facts. You need a narrative. There's a reason no one watches C-SPAN."
"Pretty sure I can spin a narrative on the election without stooping to the level of a gossip column." With Y/N's hard stare, Ashley seemed to realize she wasn't getting any further with the conversation, and after eyeing Y/N for another moment, she sighed heavily.
"You'd better show me a good narrative." Y/N had begun to tune her out as she pushed herself off of her desk, instead turning back to the article she'd been drafting. "I trust your judgment as a writer, so I'll let you take this however you want it. But people want to know who they're reading about."
"I have a feeling everyone knows who Thomas Jefferson is by now," Y/N responded dryly.
"I mean know him, know him." That elicited a raised eyebrow. "He's a person, not just a candidate. That's what America wants to see."
Y/N couldn't help the strange sense of pride that curled in her chest, tried instead to suppress it alongside the inexplicably conceited mantra Ashley's words elicited: she knew Thomas Jefferson in a way America never would.
When Ashley raised her eyebrows, Y/N realized she'd let the silence stretch on a moment too long. She swallowed her thoughts. "So you want me to air his dirty laundry?"
Y/N's eyes widened at the grin that broke through Ashley's unimpressed demeanor.
"Finally, she gets it." With that, Ashley turned to go, ignoring how dumbfounded she'd left Y/N. She glanced back with a well-pleased smile.
"If you need dirt, never be afraid to dig up whatever it is he's left buried."
-----
Unfortunately for Y/N, the distraction that was her boss's scarily cutthroat mentality only weaved itself into her racing thoughts about her most recent encounter with everyone's favorite Republican frontrunner. The next few evenings at the diner were slow, which she couldn't necessarily complain about -- being rushed and nagged by half of downtown D.C. over the course of a week wasn't quite her paradise. However, it only gave her time to spiral under the weight of everything she'd learned.
To her conflicted relief, coming in earlier in the afternoon on Wednesday provided a welcome diversion. It would've been her afternoon to herself after leaving her office at the Post, but when one of their baristas called in sick, the money for an extra two hours was too tempting for Y/N to turn down.
Despite her early shift, it wasn't until around 7:30 that her evening hit a bump in the road.
"Prosciutto roll for Belle?" she called out as she reached the end of the counter, putting the tray with the finished order and the receipt on the end of the counter. She pulled a paper cup out of the stack by the divider for the drink that was ordered. She was about to dash back to the kitchen after checking over the food, when--
"Excuse me."
She was sick of overly-familiar voices interrupting her workday. She froze on the balls of her feet where she'd begun to retreat, before turning with forced positivity permeating her demeanor. Couldn't her two jobs stay separate, at least most of the time?
"James! Hey. Congrats on the Super Tuesday win." His surprised smile put her at ease as she reached where he stood.
"Oh... Y/N. Thank you," he said, tone hesitant, his eyebrows shooting toward his hairline. "I didn't know you worked here." She only shrugged.
"I just started two weeks ago. Not surprised you haven't noticed me around."
"No, I don't mean..." She raised an eyebrow when he trailed off, before he chucked to himself, pinching the bridge of his nose. "This is my first time coming here. You being an employee just... explains a few things, is all."
"Glad to provide some clarity... ?" With any context, his insinuation would've been painfully obvious; however, completely ignorant of the previous Saturday's meeting, Y/N was absolutely oblivious. She pursed her lips.
"You have my gratitude for it." James's knowing smile explained nothing for her, however.
"Right." She glanced at the growing line over at the cash register, anxious to keep the flow of customers going smoothly as the place filled up. "Anyway, what can I do for you? If you're here for dinner, line starts that way."
She nodded to the other end of the counter, but he shook his head.
"I'm not looking for food, actually."
Y/N cocked an eyebrow. "I hate to have to be the one to tell you this, but I'm starting to think you're in the wrong place."
"No, no..." He plucked a takeout menu from the stand toward the end of the counter and nodded, eyeing the diner's logo. "I'm where I'm supposed to be."
"You're sure?" Her skepticism was still blatant.
"I'm sure." He glanced up from the menu with a smile. "May I speak to your manager, just briefly?"
That was when she paled. Eyeing his nonchalant expression, she prayed none of her assumptions about his motives could possibly be true, especially as they grew stranger and stranger. Her new spiraling was beginning to tie back to her previous spiraling -- could James have found out about the past Friday? Would Thomas have possibly told him? Why would that mean he showed up at her family's diner to talk to her manager about it? Could he have been trying to--
"Why do you look so nervous?" Her alarm only seemed to amuse James, and she huffed, leaning against the counter.
"James. You're a politician who showed up at my place of work, rejected food, and requested to speak to my manager." She looked up at him with a flat gaze, and he only chuckled, shrugging in acquiescence. "There isn't some new health code no one told us about, is there?"
"Not this time. Check back in a week, though." She rolled her eyes. "In all seriousness, may I speak to whoever's in charge? I assure you I'm not here to shut down your café."
Y/N allowed herself a small smile. "How generous of you. Give me a second."
He nodded as she turned away, laughing when she took only three steps before aggressively yelling "Orlando!" in the direction of the kitchen.
The man in question emerged with his brow furrowed, wiping his hands on a dishtowel with his brows furrowed. "What's wrong, mija?"
"Nothing yet." She glanced between him and James, her stare inquisitive. "Someone wants to speak to you about the diner real quick."
"You get us into trouble again?" Orlando raised a playful eyebrow, and Y/N couldn't help her wry smile as she rolled her eyes, batting at his arm.
"No, Orlando," she huffed.
Her contrived annoyance hardly buried her amusement before James decided to pipe up. "'Again'?"
She turned to James with a playful glare, and he grinned. "You stay outta this." She pointed a reprimanding finger at him, but he didn't appear at all fazed. "Gonna get me fired before you have a chance to shut us down, at this rate."
"You got us shut down?" Orlando gasped, but when Y/N saw the mirth behind his playful shock, she groaned.
"No, Orlando." James's and Orlando's grins mirrored one another as she looked between them, exhaustion settling into her tone. "I need you two to take each other off my hands, now. I have drinks to make."
"Of course, Y/N." James wasn't too hurt by the final glare she sent him before turning away.
As she fell back into her rhythm fulfilling orders, Y/N couldn't help but keep an eye on the two men, especially not when Orlando emerged from behind the counter to talk to James, trying to stay out of her way but also moving just out of her earshot. She knew the glances she kept sneaking toward them weren't as subtle as they should've been; she knew Orlando could see her watching them. As James continued on, Orlando's entire demeanor went from skeptical to welcoming, his body language opening up in turn. (Y/N tried briefly to read their lips, but something gave her the feeling that 'sent out the minors' wasn't quite true to their conversation.)
She had to force herself to turn her focus back to the customers as the unfinished drink orders began to pile up, her eyes widening when she caught sight of the mounting line of cups to her right with names and orders, but with a distinct lack of coffee. A few more minutes passed as she struggled to keep up, finally holding pace with the ever-growing demand when Orlando shook James's hand, passed off a business card before the two parted ways.
At the risk of making just a few customers lose their heads, Y/N followed Orlando into the kitchen, her curiosity overriding her work ethic.
"Hey, what was that about?" She caught him just as he was tying his apron back on. How pleased he looked had her skeptical.
"Oh, nothing very big. Don't worry." He withdrew his plastic gloves from the front pocket, pulling them on with a shrug. "He asked me about renting out the diner for a night for an event with Thomas Jefferson's campaign."
That stopped Y/N cold. "He did?"
"Mhm." He nodded, and he didn't seem to notice how stunned Y/N had suddenly begun to look. "I told him yes. I didn't think Mira would be thrilled if I turned it down. He offered us a lot of money for it."
"Oh, did he now?" She let out a shaky exhale, glancing back at the front of the diner to see James just exiting through the glass doors. "And did he say why he wanted to do it here, of all places?"
Orlando shrugged. "I didn't ask."
Why wouldn't that be your first question? Despite her moderate angst, Y/N tried not to let her frustration show. "Is Mira around? I need to talk to her."
"Aren't you in the middle of a shift?" He gave her a pointed look, and it elicited a dramatic, drawn-out groan from Y/N.
"Orlando," she whined, folding her arms. He gave her a mocking pout.
"Y/N." She rolled her eyes. "You're losing us valuable customers and valuable time as the line gets longer. Go back to making drinks."
Despite her scowl, she nodded. "After I close tonight, you're gonna get a piece of my mind."
------
As it turned out, it wasn't Orlando who was given a piece of her mind that evening.
2 New Messages, 10:38 PM
Thomas raised an eyebrow as his phone vibrated. He sat at his own dining room table, the sound coming from just inches to the left of where he was working on his laptop. Who would be contacting him that late?
Y/N 🍑👀: tell me it wasn't you who came up with the idea of renting out mira and orlando's diner on the only night when i work all evening
Y/N 🍑👀: please for your sake blame james
He grinned. The draft reports of the campaign's funding allocation he'd been typing up could wait just a few minutes.
thomas 🙄: i feel like you're just tryna get me to lie so you can slander me in the papers for it
Y/N 🍑👀: thomas i stg
Y/N 🍑👀: are you just planning your campaign around what's gonna annoy me most????
thomas 🙄: that's a heavy accusation, i would never
thomas 🙄: just wanna make sure you don't get too lonely without me
Y/N's scowl held no real anger as she read the texts.
Y/N 🍑👀: oh of course
Y/N 🍑👀: if this is your way of trying to get laid again, it's a flawed strategy
thomas 🙄: what happened to ruining my sheets "next time"? :)
Y/N 🍑👀: you still owe me for all the bleach i had to buy
thomas 🙄: don't avoid the question
Y/N 🍑👀: don't avoid the cleaning bill
thomas 🙄: if you're still tryna ruin MY sheets next time, it won't be your problem
Y/N 🍑👀 is typing...
Thomas rolled his eyes when the typing bubble disappeared and he didn't receive another text. Y/N, on the other hand, was biting her lip, her fingers hesitant on her keyboard as she read his text to herself. Her heart rate was picking up as flashes of the past Friday played in her mind.
thomas 🙄: did you really just stop typing on me??
Y/N 🍑👀: can we return to my actual question???? why the fuck did you decide to rent out the diner for your campaign?????
thomas 🙄: wasn't my idea to hold a meet and greet at a restaurant
Y/N 🍑👀: there are literally hundreds of restaurants in dc tho
thomas 🙄: and??
Y/N 🍑👀: and you just happened to rent out the diner i work at during the entirety of my shift???
thomas 🙄: pretty sure i mentioned a while back that i was gonna learn your schedule
Y/N 🍑👀: i'm not sure how good it's gonna look for your campaign when i file a restraining order against you
thomas 🙄: you mean you don't miss me? :(
Y/N 🍑👀: oh c'mon you're just asking for it now
Y/N 🍑👀: you almost make it too easy to mock you
thomas 🙄: i'm so hurt
Y/N 🍑👀: already?? i haven't even started mocking you yet
thomas 🙄: we'll see who's mocking who when you're stuck with my campaign for five hours this friday
Y/N 🍑👀: five hours??????
thomas 🙄: don't get too excited now
Y/N 🍑👀: fuck you
thomas 🙄: only after you get around to changing your sheets
✔ Read, 11:03 PM
------
Try as she might, Y/N failed to find a way out of her evening shift the following Saturday. She pleaded with her co-workers (no one else was available); she faked sick (Jac marched up to her apartment just to call her out); she was about ready to find a fake ID and leave the country when a better idea occurred to her.
Mailto: [email protected]
Hi Mr. Adams--
(No, too informal.)
Vice President Adams:
(.... Passable.)
I hope this email finds you well. This is Y/N L/N of the Washington Post, to whom you gave your email address a number of weeks ago at President Washington's gala.
(She prayed she was using 'whom' correctly.)
As you know, I've been assigned to cover the Jefferson campaign up until this November's election, and I'm reaching out for any timely information you would be willing to share on the current relationship between Secretary Jefferson and yourself, as the projected Democratic nominee. I was hoping to find out--
(What was she hoping to find out? Her mind was still attached to Ashley's most recent ominous wisdom -- don't be afraid to dig up what he's left buried. But how could she ask the vice president for dirt without erring on the wrong side of collusion?
Backspace just a little.)
I was hoping to give my readers a somewhat more personal perspective on Jefferson's time holding office as Secretary of State. Is there any chance you'd be available for an interview? Please let me know; I look forward to hearing from you.
Regards,
(Was regards too stiff? Backspace.)
Best regards,
Y/N L/N
She'd been hesitant to actually use the email address he'd given her; she bit her lip as she pressed send. She might not have been able to find a way out of five hours of the diner being full of nothing but Jefferson supporters, but if Ashley was looking for dirt, eavesdropping and an opposing perspective could go far for her. Despite her writing prospects, she spent the entirety of her Saturday dreading its end.
James was the first to show up. The diner was cleared of its usual patrons, but that night, it'd be operating at capacity.
"So should I assume your presence means this whole 'meet-and-greet' wasn't an elaborate hoax just to deepen my frown lines?" Y/N was looking up at him with somber resignation as he entered the diner wearing a wide smile.
"Your input and documentation are valuable to this campaign, Y/N. We would never target you like that." She rolled her eyes as she pushed herself off the counter, despite how amused James appeared. "In other words, you have a long evening ahead of you."
"Y'know, I'm firmly convinced you're just trying to make my life Hell until I stop covering the election," she accused him, and he laughed.
"Have a little faith. I wasn't even made aware that you work here."
"Yeah, you weren't."
"What are you implying, exactly?"
"Take a shot in the dark." She glared at him, but it had no real anger in it. "Now, I'm not sure why Thomas is so fixated on antagonizing me, but you'd better tell him--"
"James, hey, you ready to get set up?" It was at that moment the front door of the diner flew open, and it was only a moment of silence that passed before Thomas looked up from whatever he was so absorbed in on his phone, and when he caught sight of Y/N's exasperated expression, a grin split his face. "Y/N? You workin' here, now?"
"Don't even start."
"Aw, c'mon, what d'you possibly mean by that?" His hands were stuffed in his pockets; he wore a shit-eating grin, and Y/N just scowled.
"I have too many hours left in my shift to deal with you two this early." She pointed an accusing finger between the two of them as she threw down her dishrag. "I'm getting Mira and Orlando."
"Some hospitality," Thomas pouted as Y/N began to turn, pausing to give him the stink eye, and he failed to mask his entertainment under his feigned offense.
From there, the evening went about as well as she could've hoped. Mira, as expected, was beyond overjoyed to see Thomas, didn't waste even a moment in helping him set up, and when the floodgates opened at 4:30 PM sharp, Y/N's feet were sore even thinking about scurrying back and forth for five hours on the tile floor she'd already spent her morning polishing. (So much for that polish, anyway. It was less than five minutes before layer after layer of bootprints wracked the shining ceramic with an avante-garde collage of brackish slush and sidewalk gunk.)
Demands were ringing in her ears. She struggled to distinguish between her rather lifelike migraine and the surrounding frenzy of voters and journalists alike -- the voices all sounded the same. A disembodied shout requested an extra tub of honey butter, and she tossed one onto the end of the counter without thinking twice. Two dozen hamburgers over the next thirty minutes seemed a small price to pay to no longer be working the cash register.
She'd begun to count how many viruses could fit on the surface of each dollar she collected in tips with a strained smile, retreating back to the kitchen to wash her hands every time she stuck one into the pocket of her apron. Considering the crowd, she considered herself lucky she was making tips at all.
The money was an undeniable result of the wandering eyes of a number of middle-aged men in the crowd, being to various degrees of seedy -- her skinny jeans seemed to be a hit. Though he wasn't one among the crowd stuffing wadded bills into her hand with a sleazy grin every time she came around to bus tables, there was one man whose wandering gaze she kept meeting. (He'd rather have provided a much different type of gratuity, and she suspected that went beyond subsidizing her trip to the laundromat to wash her bedsheets.)
She had to put it out of her mind every time she caught and subsequently broke his stare. The wolfish smile he watched her with had her feeling more vulnerable than she'd have liked; every time she noticed it, she couldn't help but pale and duck away like a mouse dodging a trap (no matter how tempting the bait might've been). Not to mention it was distracting her from her job. She shook the thought from where it weighed down on her shoulders, instead scurrying back to the register to deal with the line.
"Alright, what can I get you?" The words were breathless as she rushed to the counter, having just made seven lattes in the span of approximately five minutes and ferried forty kilograms of dirty dishes back to the kitchen -- she wasn't looking forward to washing them at the end of the night. Her tired eyes snapped open when she realized who stood before her. "Lafayette! How long have you been here?"
"Standing in line, or in ze restaurant?" His smile was just on the right side of jeering, and she rolled her eyes.
"I didn't take that long to get here; I don't wanna hear it."
"Of course not, chérie." He eyed the menu posted above her as he spoke. "I arrived 'ere nearly two hours ago, but I 'ave only just now come to get food."
"Been avoiding me?" she teased.
"Can you blame me?" Her scowl was all but involuntary at how self-satisfied he looked, choosing to avoid her annoyed gaze. "Any recommendations from ze menu?"
"Whatever's most expensive." He raised a skeptical eyebrow, and she shrugged, holding her hands up defensively. "What? Like you can't afford the New England stuffed lobster?"
He pursed his lips as he looked back down at her, but his eyes were all smug amusement. "Fine. I will 'ave zat and ze agave lemonade."
"My paycheck appreciates it," she said. "That all?"
"Zat will be all for me." The devious smile he wore as he leaned in a fraction of an inch had her on edge. "But with 'ow he 'as been ogling you all night, I daresay Thomas may want something more."
"Lafayette!" she scolded him, stepping back from the counter to glare. "Why has that become the first thing you bring up every time you see me, now? I am at work."
Her seething was in a hushed tone, and he only shrugged, leafing through his wallet with a smug smile. "Remind him of zat, not me."
____________
It was nearing eight o'clock, and Y/N refused to remind herself that she still had more than an hour and a half to go. She'd deigned to wash the dishes by that point, actively avoiding the crowds in the dining room between Thomas's wolfish gaze and Lafayette's knowing smile -- she wasn't sure when her family diner had become a lion's den.
The yellow latex gloves she'd been forced to sport were an occupational hazard, she supposed, as she reached up to return her latest stack of side plates to their rightful place in the cabinet above her. When she turned back to the sink--
"Thomas!" She jumped back, holding the edge of the counter behind her. She hadn't heard him come in.
He raised an entertained eyebrow as she pulled off her thick rubber gloves, throwing them down onto the counter with a thud before reaching over to turn off the water. "What are you doing back here?" she huffed, "You can't be here."
He shrugged, and she could feel her heart rate rising along with the blood to her cheeks. Him cornering her, alone in the kitchen at her part-time job after all the texts they'd exchanged over the past week, had her feeling increasingly vulnerable.
He plastered on a mock pout, folding his arms as he leaned against the side of the counter. "Oh, nice to see you, too, Y/N. I'm great, thanks so much for askin'."
Y/N scowled. "Don't pretend I'm the one out of line, here."
"You aren't happy to see me?" His brow creased as he held a hand to his heart, and though she rolled her eyes, the corners of her lips twitched upward. "You're hurtin' my feelings. Figured it'd be a welcome surprise."
"Oh, of course, based on how thrilled I was to hear you rented the place out for the night?"
He grinned. "Exactly."
She huffed at his audacity, shaking her head.
"Anyway, what d'you want?" she asked as she moved to go back to where she'd been at the sink, shooing him away. However, entirely undeterred, he took a step toward her, and she took one back, nearing the corner of the room. Her eyes were wide.
"Thomas," she said hesitantly, and he took another nonchalant step toward her, slowly backing her against the kitchen wall. Her voice was shaky, her heart pounding in her ears like a warning bell. "What are you doing?"
"Well, sweetheart," he began matter-of-factly, his gaze hawklike. Her breathing stopped for a moment as he closed in on her, one hand landing on the wall beside her head and the other on her waist. His grin broadened. "I seem to remember being promised a 'next time.'"
At that, she couldn't help but let out a surprised laugh, the sound breathy. "Seriously? And you think now is a good time to cash that in? I'm working."
"So am I." He shrugged. "Makes it more fun, doesn't it?"
"No, it absolutely does not!" Her reprimanding was losing its bite, though; his smile was apparently more contagious than anything she was going to pick up from touching the used cutlery of his unsavory voters. He leaned in toward her with a mischievous eyebrow raised. "Thomas."
"Y/N," he echoed mockingly before he dipped down, lips finding the side of her cheekbone, trailing down toward her jaw.
"There's a window in here," she reminded him, despite tilting her head to give him access to her neck. "We're in plain sight."
"Not from this corner." She could feel his grin against the side of her face. "Really think I didn't think this through, sugar?"
She let out a skeptical hum when his mouth reached her collarbone, running her hands up his chest, arching up against him despite herself. "This is a bad ide-- Ah!" She squeaked when he nipped at her skin, and his grip on her hip tightened.
"Whatever you say," he murmured into her neck.
"We're going to get caught." She let out a soft gasp as his hand on her hip traveled south.
"By who? Mira?" He pulled back to look her in the eye, a playful shine to his gaze. "She gonna fire you for stealing the attention of her favorite customer?"
Y/N rolled her eyes, pursing her lips to push back the grin that threatened to break hef stony facade. "No, she's gonna fire me for whatever health code violation this constitutes." She shoved him lightly by the shoulder, but it only prompted him to anchor her to him by the waist.
"I won't tell." The hand that rested against the wall threaded itself into her hair, tipping her head back to look her in the eye. He raised an eyebrow, waiting for any sort of reaction in the affirmative. She bit her lip.
"My kitchen shift ends in less than half an hour." His expression visibly deflated, and she gave a small, sly smile. "So you'd better be quick."
Delighted surprised flashed in his eyes; she squealed when he hitched one of her legs up to his waist, tightening her hold on his shoulders. "Well, I can't turn down a challenge, now, can I?"
With that, he reached over and flicked the sink's faucet back on, the water drumming loudly on the underside of a saucepan. She furrowed her brow. "What are you doing?"
"Drownin' you out."
His lips returned to her neck with increased fervor, and he tugged aside the collar of her shirt, biting softly into her skin. "Fuck you," she moaned, and he laughed.
"Right here, in plain sight?"
She was about to rebuke him, eyes narrowed and mouth ajar, before he began sucking a hickey into the skin of her shoulder, and he felt her whole body relax in his grasp as she let out a groan. "You're unbelievable."
"I do my best." Her eyes began to flutter shut as she lost sight of her initial task, the small tsunami of dishes becoming hardly a wave in the distance. His hands trailed further downward, and she could feel her chest heaving as she dug her nails into the thick material of his suit. She bit down on her lip, trying to remain quiet, desperate not to draw any attention, when the door opposite them flew open.
Y/N squealed, shoving Thomas away from her, but the damage was done when she met the intruder's eye.
"Lafayette?" she asked breathlessly, "What are you doing back here?"
"So it is only a problem when I come into ze kitchen?" He gave Thomas a pointed look, who glanced to Y/N guiltily. She yanked her shirt back over the reddening mark halfway across her shoulder with a huff. "I was only coming to ask where ze bathroom was, but I fear ze two of you may need it more zan I do."
"Out. Both of you." Y/N glared at Lafayette, who looked spectacularly amused by the scene he'd walked in on. Thomas, however, looked nearly as put-out as Y/N. She walked over to pull her rubber gloves back on, turned the water off in the sink. "I need to get back to work."
"It seems you should do ze same," Lafayette commented to Thomas, who straightened his tie, scowling.
"Thanks for the reminder." He brushed past Lafayette on his way to the door before he turned to leave, casting Y/N one more burning gaze that left her palms sweating.
Y/N turned back to the sink and grabbed the next dish from the stack, expecting Lafayette to follow Thomas out, but he only raised his eyebrows, joining her near the sink as she picked up a sponge and returned to scrubbing a spot of yellowish crud from the edge of a plate, grimacing when she realized it was crusted over.
"So," he started, and she looked up at him warily, not abandoning her task. "I take it my hunch as to where you disappeared to at ze fundraiser last week was not misguided?"
She closed her eyes to take a deep breath, pausing for a moment, thoroughly displeased with the hubristic smile he wore. She didn't give him the satisfaction of meeting his eyes. "What d'you want, Lafayette?"
She glanced in his direction as he pulled his lips into a dramatic pout. "Is my company not good enough for you to 'ave here? You hurt me, chérie."
"Right. No agenda there," she said dryly, and he shrugged, unable to contain his self-satisfaction.
"So, 'ow long have you and Thomas been carrying on in secret?"
After the momentary pause the bluntness of his question gave her, she rolled her eyes. He came around to the drying rack on her other side, apparently ignoring her peeved sarcasm. "We aren't."
"Non? Then what, exactly, did I just walk in on?"
"Give it your wildest guess." As she turned to add a plate to the stack, she watched Lafayette hoist himself up onto the counter to her left. He gave her a sly look.
"Why did you not tell me about your little liaison? It is not like it was difficult to figure out."
"'Liaison'," she snorted. "Is there anything you don't know how to make sound pretentious?"
"Do not avoid the matter at hand."
She could feel her cheeks beginning to heat as she turned the faucet back on, and it wasn't just the steam coming from the scalding water. "It's not like that, Lafayette. Seriously."
"'Ow far 'ave you two gone?"
"Lafayette!" She turned with that to glare at him, his nonchalance about her embarrassment only compounding upon it.
"What? Do you really not want someone to confide in?" She paused at his words, though her scowl didn't relax, and he took that as an invitation to continue. "I can only assume you 'ave not been 'aving zis conversation with Alexander. I can picture quite clearly how 'e would react."
She let out a huff of bitter laughter as she returned to the dishes. "Can't argue with that one. He thinks the hickey I came back from Detroit with was from you."
"Non!" His eyes shone with mischief, despite his contrived incredulity. "I am your cover story?"
"It's his theory; I didn't even give him the idea." She added another plate to her pile. "Though, a lot of my friends seem to think you're a whore, now."
"Mm, and why should I not go and tell them ze reality of ze situation?"
"Don't you dare!" she said. "What do you stand to gain from that?"
"Protecting my reputation, apparently," he said mildly. "Or, you could simply tell me what 'as been going on."
"Are you blackmailing me for gossip?"
"Think of it as an exchange."
She scoffed, turning her head to look at him. "You really are shameless, huh?" He shrugged, folding his arms as he turned to look at her expectantly, his knee bumping her pile of silverware. She sighed. "Fine. We screwed. You happy?"
"Delighted." He wore a small smile as he shifted her dishes out of his way. "'Ow many times? Only once? When was zis?"
"Lafayette!"
"What?" he asked innocently, but the exhaustion written across her face made him laugh. "Come on, Y/N; we are friends, non?"
"Seems like I'm stuck with you, so sure."
"Zen why do you not feel like you can speak freely with me?"
When she met his eyes that time, the words seemed to be in earnest, not even mocking in the slightest. He wore a small smile, and he broke her gaze after a moment, eyeing the layout of the kitchen.
"Alright. If it'll get you off my back." She sighed, shooting him a dirty look, and he nodded, pursing his lips to suppress the grin that was bursting at the seams. "It was a week before Friday. Only once. And, to be honest, I have no idea where to go from here."
"Thomas seems to have some idea where he wants to go." When she gave him a dead stare, he laughed. "I am not making fun of you, zis time. Truly."
"This time," she repeated bitterly. "I'm just... not entirely sure what I want. The whole thing feels risky."
"It certainly is risky if you are trying to get lucky in public during his campaign event." He gave her a scandalized look, but her scowl was unwavering.
"Thanks for the advice."
Her sarcasm left him undeterred. He shrugged. "But if you are careful, what is ze harm? I assure you, even the papers zat care enough to cover Thomas's sex life do not 'ave the resources to find out who is ending up in his bed."
She hesitated a moment, considering his words.
"No, you're probably right." She sighed. "The thing is... I don't know. It feels like it could become a problem."
"Ah, is there... something more you want out of zis?" The sidelong look he gave her was more concerned than she expected it to be. She shook her head, giving a light laugh.
"No, no, nothing like that." He'd begun moving the dishes to his other side by then to maintain his spot on the counter. Y/N rolled her eyes when she noticed. "My career just complicates things, is all."
Before he could respond, she took a step back from the counter, peeling off her rubber gloves despite the looming load of dishwashing she'd still have to do before the end of the night. "And as much as I'd love to stay and chat, I need to get back to making sandwiches. Head back out to the dining room."
She jerked her chin toward the door while retying the strings on the back of her apron. Lafayette frowned.
"Are you trying to get rid of me?"
"Not trying to. Kicking you out." She gave him a flat stare as she turned toward where she stood. "Some of us have bills to pay. C'mon."
He scowled as he hopped off of the counter and she waved him away, following close behind to herd him out the door. He glanced back over his shoulder at her when she did, though, and his gaze looked once again as smug as it had when he first realized what he'd walked in on. "If you insist, chérie. I understand that you must do away with me before you can carry on with your little affair. Do not let me get in ze way."
Y/N rolled her eyes at how pleased he looked with himself as he strolled back into the seating area, not giving him the satisfaction of a response. However, when she returned to the kitchen counter, she couldn't help but scan the room through the front window; who she was looking for went without saying. She found him already looking at her, and she swallowed hard.
Nothing articulable was conveyed in his heavy stare, nor in the barely-there smile he wore, arms folded as he watched her shamelessly. She bit her lip. The three seconds she held his gaze felt like hours, and when he finally winked and broke eye contact to turn to someone who'd just approached his table, she felt her stomach turn. This wasn't over.
------
Thomas's rally ended at nine, but it wasn't until closer to nine-thirty that he'd persuaded the final member of his constituency to call it a night. Mira, Orlando, Jac, and all their miscellaneous employees had gone home when their shifts ended at the official end of the event, but Y/N was stuck on the clock for another hour or longer until she finished cleaning up the mess left behind from the evening. Unfortunately, his event running over time meant that he didn't start clearing out his campaign setup until around five minutes after the diner was empty, and that his posters, decorations, and gaudily-colored buttons weren't actually gone until closer to nine fifty.
Y/N was clearing the kitchen counters all the while, knowing she couldn't begin to mop up the grayish mess of liquified dirt and matted grass scattered across the floor until they were both gone. When they seemed to be on the last load of red streamers and campaign merchandise, she emerged back toward the front counter to lock up behind them. Thomas was still out in the back when James approached her, his final box of t-shirts resting on his hip.
"Is there anything else you need from us before we leave? I don't want to take up too much more of your time."
Y/N smiled at the concerned look he wore. "Depends; have you paid Mira in full for all our troubles?" Despite her exhaustion, her tone was light, and the tension in James's brow relaxed.
"I gave her the check before she left."
"Then you're good to go." She shrugged as she went to collect another basin of dirty dishes from under the side of the counter; her annoyance at it couldn't even rise, not after the mountain of plates she already had waiting for her next to the sink. "I've got everything else under control."
He nodded. "Thank you for letting us rent out the venue. All our attendees seemed more than happy with it."
"If it was up to me, you wouldn't be here, but I'll take the credit if you're offering it." She raised a playful eyebrow, and he wore a tired smile.
"The credit's all yours."
"My gratitude is beyond words." Though the words were mocking, he let out a light laugh, and she couldn't help her wry grin.
"I'm always glad to hear it." He took another glance around the place, checking for anything that might've been left behind, before turning toward the back exit Thomas had just re-emerged from.
"What else do we still have to box up?"
James paused on his way out. "You're welcome to do a final sweep, but I believe we have everything."
"Yeah?"
"I'm fairly certain." He looked back toward where Y/N stood behind the counter once more, leaning down on the bakery case. "Goodnight, Y/N."
"Bye, James." Her sleepy voice has a singsong lilt to it that made Thomas smile as he searched the dining room a final time. She'd started toward the kitchen once more to retrieve her broom, but Thomas's voice stopped her.
"Anything else I can do before I head out?"
She turned on her heel to face him, wore a soft smile when she saw how earnest he looked, eyebrows raised and his hands tucked into the pockets of his dress pants. "So long as you’ve gotten everything you brought here, there’s nothing I need from you."
"You sure?" When she raised a questioning eyebrow, he shrugged casually. "Just hate to leave this place a mess from our campaign event. Don't wanna leave you with all the extra cleanup."
She pursed her lips when her smile threatened to broaden. "That's sweet, Thomas, but really, it's okay. I'm on the clock for a while longer anyway. I think I can stick it out, considering I'm the one employed here."
"Feel like I remember hearin' somewhere that your shift ends at ten." He furrowed his brow, walking toward the counter where she stood. She didn't quite get his point until she turned to the clock above the doorway: it was nine fifty-eight. "'S there really nothin' I can do to help out?"
She snorted, folded her arms. "Not unless mopping the dried coffee off of the floors is your idea of a good time." When his expectant expression was unwavering, her eyebrows shot up. "You're not seriously offering your services as a janitor, are you?"
The corners of his lips quirked. "Only if it's welcome, sweetheart."
"You're wearing a full suit." The disbelief in her eyes was rigid despite his conviction.
"Don't mind. Long as I can throw my jacket somewhere." He cracked a grin. "Unless, of course, you just wanna get rid of me."
She eyed him skeptically, but he didn't seem to be joking just then. "If you're serious, I'm not turning down free labor."
"Or an excuse to spend more time with me?" His tone was playful, and she couldn't help her spiteful laugh as she re-entered the kitchen.
"So that's your ulterior motive? Hope you don't think you're getting any when it's eleven o'clock and I'm half asleep from my seven hours here tonight."
"As, c'mon now, why's there gotta be an accusation?" he called after her, and she could hear the teasing frown in his voice. "Can't I just wanna lend a hand?"
"I'll believe it when I see it." She emerged not a minute later with a broom and dustpan to see him having shaken off his jacket and undone his tie. She quirked a brow.
"Hey, anywhere I can throw these?" His sleeves were rolled up to his forearms as he slid his tie out of his collar, popping open the first few buttons on his dress shirt, and Y/N bit her lip. The suits he wore didn't quite do justice to his physique; his jackets may have fit tighter around his upper arms, but his shirts were practically molded around his biceps just above where the veins bulging in his forearms disappeared into his sleeves. She was sure the few extra inches of visible skin below his collar were meant to draw her wandering eyes, only hinting at the toned chest she knew lay beneath the starched fabric.
When she looked back up and caught his eye, he looked predictably cocky. He wore a wide, smug grin, and she rolled her eyes before he even spoke. "You're starin', sweetheart."
Y/N shrugged, wearing the smallest of smiles. "Nothing I haven't seen before."
"Anything you wanna see again?" He raised a suggestive eyebrow, and she laughed.
"Tempting," she said, and when surprise flashed in his eyes, his interest piqued as he started toward her. However, she stopped him at arm's length, a hand on his chest. "But you know what would be really sexy?"
His delight in the turn of events was obvious. "What's that?"
She leaned her broom against the counter and took a step forward, pushing herself onto her toes until her lips brushed against the skin just below his ear, and his hands ghosted down to her hips. Her voice was just above a whisper. "Watching you disinfect all the dining room's high-touch surfaces."
She pulled back with a broad grin when he let out a disappointed groan. "Seriously?"
His frustration was obvious, his brow furrowed as he looked down at her, deadpan, and she couldn't help but laugh. "Oh, yeah. Free labor really gets me going."
"Tease," he grumbled, and Y/N gave him a skeptical stare.
"Don't you gimme that; I'm not the one here under false pretenses," she reminded him, and he folded his arms.
"Now I dunno what you could be refferin' to." She raised a dubious eyebrow when a grin split his phony discontent. "But there's nothin' wrong with mixin' business and pleasure."
"Don't you dare try to derail me after taking up six hours of my time, Jefferson." She prodded his chest with a scowl. "If you're sticking around, I'm putting you to work."
"Wouldn't have it any other way." When he did grab the broom, he glanced back toward the kitchen, wearing an inquisitive frown. "I'm gonna go stick my jacket in a cupboard; is that alright? I'll only be a minute."
"Oh, yeah; do you want me to take it? We have a coat closet in the back."
"Nah, 's alright. I can find it."
Though she gave him a skeptical once-over, Y/N nodded. "Have at it."
When he wasn't back a few minutes later, her train of thoughts managed to run a full 5k -- what could he possibly be spending that much time in the back for? Was he really still trying to find a coat hanger, by then? How hard was it to find a closet in exactly two rooms? Or, really, was he just hiding out until she'd already gotten the worst of the grime off of the tile?
She eliminated her final guess when early-2000s pop music began blaring through the diner's sound system. Though she groaned loudly enough for him to hear it from where he'd located the aux input, she couldn't say this was really a downgrade from Orlando's dusk-till-dawn smooth jazz. When he emerged from behind the kitchen's swinging door and caught sight of her dead stare, he laughed.
"Hanging up your jacket, huh?" Her annoyance was contrived; the way the corners of her lips twitched up gave her away.
"Hey, I can multitask." He bit his smile back, giving her a serious look, brow furrowed. "I said I'm here to help, didn't I?"
"How is this possibly helping?"
"'Cause you need to liven up a little bit," he said matter-of-factly, and Y/N rolled her eyes. "Cleanin's only boring if you make it boring."
"You'll be singing a different tune when you start wiping down the bathroom."
"Hey, how'd I end up on bathroom duty?" he pouted, and she shrugged, turning to the shelves at the back to hide her growing smile.
"As the only one of us who actually works here, I've elected myself the de-facto CEO." She hung her dishrag up on the rack next to the sink before looking back at him over her shoulder, shrugging. "Hate to break it to you, but you're on my turf."
"But I'm a volunteer!" he protested, and she grinned.
"My point exactly."
"Now, what if I refuse to do it?" Though she was busy restocking all the cups that she'd finished washing earlier in the day, she could hear Thomas's footsteps approaching where she stood behind the counter.
"Then you don't, and you finally leave so that I can be productive."
"Sounds like I'm really the one with the power, here."
"Not when I have something I know you want." She looked up with a suggestive smile when he hoisted himself onto the counter beside her, and he raised his eyebrows, folding his arms across his chest.
"And now what's that?"
"Three guesses, Thomas." She had a feeling he'd only need one of them when his gaze began to wander down the length of her body, eyes shining.
"I dunno how unpaid this labor is, sweetheart."
"Well, you won't quite be making minimum wage," she said, turning back to face him as she leaned against the counter opposite where he sat. "But I think the employment benefits will make it worth your time."
"That so?" He pushed himself off the counter's edge, hardly having to take a step forward before his arms landed on either side of her on the counter's edge, caging her in, and she inhaled sharply. His grin was wide; his hips pressed into hers as he leaned in, and she swallowed roughly, leaning back on her hands which rested on the linoleum countertop.
"I'd like to think so," she breathed, as he dipped down, wasting no time as his lips met the tender skin below her jaw.
"Mm, I think I'm gonna need to decide that one for myself," he murmured against her neck, and despite how tempting it was when his hands gravitated to her waist, falling slowly further as he bit down softly on her earlobe, she pushed him away the minute she found her last shred of willpower.
"Uh-uh." Thomas scowled as he pulled back, hands planted on the counter at her sides. She folded her arms. "I'm not gonna make even more of a mess of this place that I'll have to clean up. When the diner's shining, I'd be happy to revisit."
One of his hands rose to her jawline, lifting her chin up ever so slightly to look him in the eye, and she raised a skeptical eyebrow. "After the place is spotless," he murmured, his voice hard and his gaze fixed on her lips, "Hope you know how much you're gonna regret leadin' me on like this. You won't be tryin' it again."
Despite her effort to remain unaffected, Y/N's breath caught, and she bit down on her bottom lip as she struggled to fight the heat rising in her cheeks. Her eyes were wider than she knew, and he seemed to be reveling in her reaction, wearing a wolfish grin.
After a moment, she swallowed, took a deep breath, her voice shaky. "Last I checked, I'm still at work."
"And I wouldn't dream of hinderin' your career." Thomas winked as he took a step back, going for the broom where she'd discarded it before, acting as though nothing at all had happened. Y/N was left reeling.
Thus began the next ninety minutes of her life. Though, to Y/N's surprise, Thomas did end up cleaning the bathrooms, putting up little resistance, he'd also managed to convince Y/N to help him. Despite there having been two of them, every subsequent task took twice as long as it otherwise would've. She'd have denied it, but Thomas's presence was a more-than-welcome distraction.
About half an hour later, he'd managed to drag her away from her Lysol bleach and her old rags in favor of taking a break to dance with him (apparently, she was underappreciating the wonder that was Outkast's greatest hit). She rolled her eyes at the suggestion but grudgingly obliged, and Thomas couldn't help but call out the small, growing smile that broke her grumpy facade. He'd seemingly done the impossible by getting her to let herself go for an evening. Neither of them was quite sure how the floor had gradually become spotless between their distracted banter, nor when exactly they'd managed to wipe down every surface in the kitchen as his playlist seamlessly ventured through every one of Britney Spears's wildest phases.
She'd just about forgotten about her fatigue as Thomas repeatedly soaked the ankles of her jeans with his mop, claiming that her being in his line of sight was just too much of a distraction for him to do his job properly. She scoffed every time, but the fact that her cheeks had grown sore from smiling made her annoyance marginally less convincing.
He eventually took off his shiny black oxfords after having spent the evening trying to hide his concern over some of the chemicals in her soaps ruining the varnish; she didn't bother to argue with his insistence that it absolutely marked a milestone in their progress that he wasn't afraid to step in any greenish gunk or black mold -- if they hadn't missed any, what was the harm? However, she did reprimand him for ransacking their fridge when she left for three minutes to put the mop away. She didn't stay mad long.
Wiping down the glass of the bakery display case took too long for her liking. As it turned out, it was difficult to focus after teasing him for the expected mediocrity of the John Mayer impression he claimed to be impeccable, as he immediately decided it needed to be proven. However, she didn't regret provoking him when the result had her sides beginning to hurt from laughing. She was just glad that they'd nearly finished cleaning.
Much to his dismay, Thomas had to cut the music after the sweet old lady who lived above the dry-cleaners next door came down, banging on the back door to chew them out. The fire behind her threats to file a noise complaint with the cops died down pretty quickly when Thomas offered her a beignet and a cup of tea, sending her on her way with a winning smile, a to-go box, and a Jefferson campaign button. (Y/N proceeded almost immediately to scold him for just giving away the fruits of her hours of labor behind a deep-fryer.)
But as the music was revoked, their animated evening of slacking off began to wind down. The only thing left for them to do was to finish the dishes, and Thomas proved to be much more helpful with this than Lafayette had been earlier in the day.
All was quiet as he washed the dishes and she proceeded to dry them, silence split only by his sporadically humming the best of the Black Eyed Peas. It was comfortable, just being together as the warm air wafted from the cooling oven not too far behind, as their hands brushed every time he passed her another plate. Her lips were pursed in a feeble effort to hide how endeared she was every time she glanced to him, his sleeves soaked past the elbow while he remained unbothered. If he noticed, he didn't mention. Finally--
"How are you so good with people?"
"Hm?" He turned his head toward her with a raised eyebrow, and she had to ignore the flecks of foamed soap that clung to his curls and his shirt. Y/N shrugged.
"I just mean..." Her smile was shy; she didn't meet his eyes. "I don't get how you do it. Mira absolutely dotes on you; you've befriended half of our staff after one night here. You just talked to my crankiest neighbor for literally all of five minutes, and suddenly, she's part of your voting bloc."
He just watched her for a moment. His stare was soft. "Can't help it if people find me irresistible."
Her loud, disbelieving scoff made him grin, but she looked far from annoyed. "That's your secret? You were just born with it? It isn't Maybelline?"
Though he laughed quietly, when she turned to him with her eyebrows raised, he shrugged. Her question seemed to be in earnest. "I dunno, sweetheart. Don't think it's anything special. People seem just as drawn to you, anyway."
"Sure, 'cause I have a nice ass, and I'm wearing tight jeans. Not the same thing." How frankly she spoke made him grin, and he shot her a wink, passing off another bowl to her.
"Can't argue with that." She rolled her eyes as she began drying the next dish. He bumped his elbow lightly against hers, gaze teasing yet soft. "But you know that's not what I meant."
She sighed. "Alright, fine, but I'm not forty-points-ahead-in-the-polls charismatic. I just... can't figure out what it is about you that people seem so drawn to."
As she concluded moments later, the uninvited smile she wore when he flashed her a warm grin could've contributed to the reason. She turned back to the plates before her, feeling her skin warm under his heavy gaze. "So you're tellin' me people don't follow me strictly 'cause of my political framework and field experience?"
"Oh, I'm sure every one of your supporters has invested hours into reading the 174-page pdf of fiscal policy your campaign published." Another stack of cups went into the cupboard below her.
"People really don't care about how taxin' it was for me to write all that? And here I was, thinkin' every American voter was out there doin' their homework." He looked with disappointment down at the salad plate he was scrubbing at present, but Y/N wasn't buying it.
"Thomas," she groaned as she turned to meet his phony pout, her stare flat. Her mild annoyance only served to amuse him further, and though she scowled when he laughed, he leaned over to gently kiss the crown of her head. She could feel herself flush despite how chaste it was; the casual affection left her more thrown than if he'd tried to rail her in the middle of the kitchen.
"'M only kiddin'," he defended, voice heavy with mirth, making her roll her eyes.
"Aren't you always?" she asked, wiping off the inside of a cup.
"'Course not." He frowned, and she deadpanned as she turned to him, arms folded.
"I'm not sure we've had a serious conversation since I met you."
"Now, that's just not true."
"Isn't it?" He put down the saucepan he was rinsing out to turn to her, matching her demeanor.
"It isn't. I know I tease, but I've never been anythin' but one-hundred percent authentic with you, Y/N."
A moment passed where neither said anything. The corners of Y/N's lips quirked at how sincere he sounded as he waited for her to react. Finally, she turned back to the dishes before her with a tight-lipped smile.
"Maybe this is what it is."
"Hm?"
"Why people like you. This whole endearingly earnest act you've got going on. I could see that being pretty appealing to voters."
"Hey, what d'you mean act?" He bumped his shoulders into hers, offense written across his face, and she laughed.
"Oh, don't pretend you don't know what I mean. Traipsing around from state to state like some type of charismatic golden boy. Making everyone feel all special and appreciated. It's a good tactic; don't get me wrong." She shrugged as she shelved the last stack of bowls. Just a few more things to wash, and they could officially consider the diner spotless. She didn't think much of her own words, but he hung onto them. It was inexplicable as to why he took so much pride in her all but admitting he made her feel special.
"My bein' all kind-hearted and charmin' isn't some scheme," he said after a moment, plastering on a scowl, and she raised an eyebrow as he passed her a fork. For a brief moment, she was worried she'd crossed a line, but when his eyes met hers, his gaze was playful. "'M just a nice person. Maybe you should try it sometime."
Her mouth fell open in surprise, indignant but hardly disguising her smile, and she let out a huff. "I was joking, you asshole!" When he only snickered, she pursed her lips, shoving him away from her with the little comparative strength she had.
"Hey, now!" His reprimanding had very little bite to it with the laugh carried in his voice as he stumbled a step to his right, tugging the faucet head along with him. He scowled at Y/N's self-pleased smile, flicking his wrist to turn the spray of water from the sink onto her.
She yelped, jumped back from it, but he'd already managed to drench the front of her shirt. She wore an expression of disbelief as she paused a moment, watching him return to the dishes as if nothing had happened despite his entertained grin. It was then that she struck back, lunging toward the sink to retaliate, and he wasn't quite quick enough to stop her.
He could only do damage control once she'd already managed to spray a line of water across his chest, and she gasped when he pushed her back to her part of the counter.
"You're more trouble than I was expectin'," he laughed, and she folded her arms.
"You're no walk in the park yourself."
"But you're the one who decided to let me stick around, sweetheart," he retorted, giving her a pointed look, and she shrugged good-naturedly.
"You might be a handful, but you're worth having around once in a while."
He laughed at how matter-of-factly she spoke, and for once, she wore an unabashed grin. "Now you're just flatterin' me," he teased.
"Oh, of course, such high praise; you aren't always awful."
"Hey, that means somethin', comin' from you," he defended, prodding her in the side, and she squealed, jumping away.
"Hands off, Jefferson. I'm at work."
"Aw, 'm sorry. Didn't mean to disrespect your professional boundaries."
"Check yourself next time," Y/N scowled, but there was no heat to it. The pair caught one another's eyes, both wearing the same, gentle smile, and it seemed too soon when he broke her gaze, returning to the last couple pieces of silverware. She watched him another moment until he turned to pass her a ladle. He raised an eyebrow when he noticed her gaze hadn't strayed.
She only turned back to the counter when she took the ladle from him, drying it off and sliding it back into its place in the drawer. All was quiet, and though they could both feel the chilled air of the spring night drifting in through the poorly-sealed back door, where they stood, it felt perfectly warm.
He glanced at her. "'S nice to see you like this."
The comment was offhanded; he didn't wait for a response, only returned to washing the spoons, but Y/N furrowed her brow.
"Like what?"
He turned back to her with a raised brow, mildly surprised at the curious frown she wore, and he shrugged, still wearing his faint smile. "I dunno." She didn't fill the silence, and he continued, "With your guard down. Always feels like you've got some kinda walls up."
She swallowed; for a split second, her gaze was absent. Ultimately, she sighed. "I guess I'm just cautious," she said quietly, and Thomas frowned at the defensive lilt that had returned to her tone.
"I get it." He reached over to finally turn off the water, and she put away the final fork he handed her. "'S not always worth lettin' people in."
His smile was tiny, barely there, but understanding, and when she met his eyes, it felt like he was seeing right through her. "It just makes it too easy to get hurt."
He nodded, eyes kind. "'M glad I make you feel like you can relax."
She hardly shrugged as he turned to her, leaning on his hand on the countertop. "Yeah." A small smile graced her lips as she eyed his expression, and she bit her lip. "I guess there are worse things, huh?"
His laugh made her nervous gaze soften. "Aw, sugar, you're too kind," he said, the mocking sarcasm in his voice balanced out by how gentle his grin was. She rolled her eyes.
"Whatever," she said softly, and he plastered on a mock pout. "I'm not building up your ego any more, alright? I'm not sure it has any room to grow."
"I wouldn't mind you makin' me just a little bit more conceited, now."
She finally turned all the way to him, putting down the dishcloth she'd been using for drying, and despite herself, the affection in the way he was looking back down at her made her heart flutter. "If you're looking for blind adoration, you should've figured out by now that I'm not the girl for that."
"No, you really aren't, are you?" Though her words had been pointed, had come with the intention to knock him back down a peg, his low voice was far, far from contemptuous. Her eyebrows jumped when he took a step toward her, taking her chin in his hand to lift her face to his before bending down to meet her where she stood, his confident lips gentle against hers. "You're so much more than that," he murmured, not pulling away enough to even look her in the eye, their noses brushing together.
Though she hesitated, it was a moment later that Y/N took a step forward to meet him halfway, her tentative touch rising up the stiff material of his shirt and to the back of his neck. He wrapped an arm around her waist. She pushed herself up onto her toes, and their lips met once again.
The patience in his every move was new to her, inconsistent with the raw desire that usually governed his actions. When he sucked her bottom lip between his teeth, her mouth parted in a soft moan, and he took the opportunity for what it was, wasting little time in pressing his tongue teasingly against hers. He was holding her close, but she was arched fully up against him regardless of it, wanting to feel the movement of his body against hers. Both her arms looped around the back of his neck, pulling him down to her.
The kiss was deep, intimate, but not harsh, and when his mouth moved to the skin of her neck, she tipped her head back, eyes closed with her silent sigh as his hands moved down to grip the backs of her thighs. She couldn't help her surprise at how effortless it was for him to pick her up, to lift her onto the counter she'd been standing in front of. She groaned when his lips found a particularly sensitive patch of skin, all but going limp in his grasp.
"Thomas," she whined, wrapping her legs more tightly around him to anchor his hips against hers, grinding against his hard body.
"Come home with me," he muttered into her neck, and though she gasped at the feeling of his teeth scraping against her, she pulled back to look him in the eye, raising his head to hers with a hand in his curls.
"What?" she whispered, chest heaving, and he pressed another soft, chaste kiss to her lips.
"Come home with me," he repeated, looking into her wide eyes.
"Why?" He raised his eyebrows at her hesitance, and she took a deep breath. "Thomas, I live upstairs; if you wanna stay, I... I definitely wouldn't mind that, but--"
She cut herself off at his skeptical hum, and he said, "Listen, I almost got caught tryin' to sneak outta here in the morning last Saturday, and I'm not tryna have a repeat of that, alright? Just come back to my place." One of his hands lifted from her thigh to weave itself into her hair, holding her head by her nape as he kissed her, more intently that time. "Promise I'll make it worth your while."
She swallowed. "Pull your car around the back."
---------
It was hours later that Y/N found herself lying exhausted on satin sheets, slumped in a penthouse just across the river and high above the city. Thomas hadn't been lying about making the most of her time; his hands had seldom left her skin from the moment she entered his passenger seat, dragging her quickly past the doorman on the first floor of his building, pinning her against the wall of the elevator for a heated, fleeting moment before he'd finally tugged her the rest of the way to his apartment.
She was wrapped in his covers up to her chest, feeling just on the wrong end of self-conscious, but her clothes were rumpled and sprawled across every corner of the rooms they had to pass to reach his bed. They hadn't been overly concerned with where the outfit ended up, just that it wasn't on her skin. Every joint in her body was already sore, and she groaned as she tried to sit up, leaning against his headboard as Thomas returned to her with a glass of water.
"Thanks," she said, and he couldn't help but grin at how hoarse she sounded as he handed her the cup.
"'Course, sweetheart." He came to sit beside her as he pressed a kiss to her temple, and she took a long sip of the water, nearly draining all of it in one gulp. "You alright? Everything still feeling okay?"
"I'm exhausted, and my ass hurts like a bitch," she griped, but when he raised an eyebrow, she nodded. "But I'm all good. Might have to bill you for the truckload of concealer I'll need to cover up all these fucking marks, but I'm fine."
"Good." He squeezed her thigh lightly when she leaned against his side, her legs bent and knees pulled in toward her chest. When she rested her head on his shoulder, he wrapped an arm around her waist, holding her against himself with a small smile.
"Can't believe I didn't know you live in the same building as Lafayette, though," she mumbled, and he looked down at her with an eyebrow raised.
"Yeah, he actually lives just across the hall. When he came back from France lookin' for a place to live, I thought it'd be fun if we were neighbors, and he took me up on it pretty easily."
She hummed her acknowledgment. "So that means, when Lafayette showed up half an hour late to your lunch date and I was there instead, that it would've taken you all of five seconds just to go home?"
He laughed. "Now, what exactly are you accusin' me of?"
"Being a pain in my ass two weeks ago," she grumbled, and he shrugged, wearing a small, self-contented smile and not bothering to argue with her.
"You didn't seem to mind me bein' a pain in your ass last night." He raised a smug eyebrow, and she scowled, turning her head to break the eye contact. She disregarded the heat she could feel rising in her cheeks.
"You say 'last night' as though we didn't get back here less than four hours ago."
"Don't pretend you don't get the picture."
"Whatever." She rolled her eyes, but the corners of her lips quirked when he kissed the top of her hair. She looked down at the cup she held against her chest. "Is it cool if I stay over?"
"'Course. I don't want you gettin' in an Uber with some creep in the middle of the city at this time of night."
"Mm, but you had no problem with me getting in a Bentley with some creep in the middle of the city four hours ago?"
Despite the teasing bite to her words, he grinned. "Hey, now, I'm just sayin' you gotta be selective about which creeps you're lettin' drive you around at all hours."
"I mean, you haven't killed me yet, so I'd call that a point in your favor." She yawned, reaching over to put the glass he'd given her on his bedside table. "We should get some sleep. It's late, and I'm sure you have somewhere to be tomorrow."
"Alright, sweetheart." She pushed herself forward from the headboard, laying back onto the pillow she'd been leaning on, holding it close to her head as he reached over to turn off the lamplight before joining her under the covers. "G'night."
"Night, T."
They fell asleep almost immediately in one another's arms.
------------
5:17 AM
From: [email protected]
Y/N--
I’m glad you reached out. Your writing’s excellent as always, but if there’s information you want, you’ve very much come to the right place. I’ve worked with Thomas for years, and though they left me dismayed, I’ve become quite familiar with the not-so-shining moments in his background.
I’d rather not put anything in writing should someone find this communication. Let’s find a somewhat private place to meet. Be sure to bring a recorder and a notepad. Believe me when I say you’re going to want to hear what I have to say.
John Adams
#hamilton#hamilton fanfic#hamilton x reader#hamilton x reader imagines#hamilton x reader imagine#hamilton oneshot#hamilton oneshots#hamilton scenarios#hamilton imagine#hamilton imagines#hamilton on disney+#thomas jefferson#thomas jefferson fanfic#thomas jefferson imagines#thomas jefferson fanfiction#thomas jefferson fic#thomas jefferson x reader#thomas jefferson x reader drabble#thomas jefferson x reader smut#thomas jefferson scenario#thomas jefferson scenarios#lafayette x reader#daveed diggs x reader#daveed x reader#hamilton smut#lafayette#lafayette imagines#daveed diggs imagines#lafayette x reader smut#freedom of the press
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THE WALTEN FILES: my jumbled notes on my blind run-in with this web series
first off this is gonna be long and unorganized, also this is my second time writing this as i had lost literally half of my progress and im This (imagine two fingers almost touching with a 0.0000000001mm distance between them) close to ripping all of the fucking hair out of my goddamn head. but now this will be extra long and yes, i will lose some accuracy to my first writing but thats okay ill probably edit this a kajillion times over
which brings me to my next tangent; im literally braindumping here. so to have a smidge of organization all afterthoughts, edits and corrections will be boldened, i forgot what im gonna do with italicized text but ill probably bolden it here yeah im pretty sure its for side tangents, separate from Corrections, which are in bold. also theyre for emphasis too.
so in general, this post right here is all of my notes i wrote down on my grid-patterned sticky notes (which i used WAYYYY too much of) about the first 3 uploaded walten files youtube videos transferred onto my handy dandy digital notebook, this b(l)og. yeppers peppers. you know im serious about this shit when i typed probably over like a thousand fucking words including boldened shit, italicized shit and motherfucking links, lost it ALL, and im sitting here re-typing it again.
i feel bad about this but im not gonna trigger warn right here, but this is technically a warning. if you want a list of triggers as to what this post (and the walten files in general) i will link a little list to that here
without further a doo doo, (mama mia) here the fucking fuck we go again.
THE WALTEN FILES - VIDEO #1
clarifying this now, im gonna put some useless shit which i thought was code onto this because even though it was useless it was part of my notes and im physically going to combust if i dont put down every single thing i wrote on my papers. so what i thought was code was in the closed captions, i started writing it down when i got to the second video but came back to my first videos notes to include them. i wrote down the first letter to every word that was capitalized in the closed captions, which i had on as a default because number one i knew going into this id need them because most web horror things like args and cryptic shit like that has some of the most crucial shits in the closed captions. number two i am autistic and have auditory processing issues and have most closed captioning on as a default if theyre available.
firstly jotted, i wrote down the closed captions “code” so im gonna put the rest here too: HYWITB(BSI)Y A(BSI)BJWFKWITW ILHHFSBBSBTLBWI USOISTBNBSFIRBCAWHSHCBWHTAIGRNB*C*BTWLTSFA(20)MCFP ILITIIACPH(1978, 1979)SA(4)YTSCH*C*OGSSU SFTGRPATDBBUTFBNLLCHMIHLBRALLCLAYTUKB*LC*WHATWASTHATTHING
the numbers in parenthesis are there because i wasnt sure they should be included in the “code” or not. i also thought of this with the BSI - bunny smiles incorporated and also the years 1978 and 1979. the shits in asterisks are coughs and light coughs, which were capitalized in the closed captions so i included them too just in case
i then jotted, in parenthesis of course, the names of the animatronics when they were listed in the animation section of the video; bon aka the blue bunny, sha aka the sheep one, boozoo aka the clown<3 honk<33, and banny aka the purpled eyelashed up one who is also a bunny btw. also i got boozoo the clown and boozoo the mustache guy confused because apparently the clowns name is billy???? but they named “boozoo” in bons sleepover and showed the clown? idk maybe im an idiot and theyre the same or just an idiot and theyre different or a super mega (matt and ryan?!?!??) idiot in general which is probably the case
i started drawing little stars to write down things i thought would be super important or to 100% look at again. the first subject of this pointy torture was the part of the video where at 3:00, i marked it down to make sure to reverse the audio as it was most definitely a weird audio that has that signature warp-y effect that makes sure you KNOW its in reverse. i then listened back to it Very carefully (still got it wrong) and got this: “you finally start to remember. that old doll. they will look out for you soon” im also pretty sure i heard “sophie” at the end of that audio but im not entirely sure and dont remember and i dont wanna go back to check lmfao but anyways it didnt matter because i was wrong anyway. after i had finished all 3 walten files i watched the film theory video on the walten files (which didnt cover all 3 but was dece.) out of curiosity and to hear matpats signature silly little voice explain some stuff i already knew, and click some shit in my brain that i couldve thought up of if i was a bit more... i dont know honestly. anyways yeah so the actual audio is “you finally start to remember. that old day. they will look out for you soon.” so yeah. day, not doll.
i then wrote down “sarah evelyn”, the name on the bons sleepover animation (i dont remember if she created it or animated it or whatnot) and scribbled will she matter? under her name. turns out no, as i didnt see her name in the rest of the series, let alone the first video. this is also a great time to mention how matpat theory helped me realize that the walten files are collections of videos, uploaded onto youtube by anthony. (i already knew about anthony as he signed his name in the descriptions of the youtube videos, making me categorize this overall web series more into an arg type genre.) but yes, the tapes, recorded “irl” footage, animated clips, vhs tape recordings and other audio-visual content is all collected and labeled the walten files, as i had mistaken each video to be a tape. stupid me. alrighty, onward!
i starred this one, good for me; MISSING: Jack Walten LAST SEEN: 06/11/1974
i jotted down with an arrow that; sophie was a nightguard? she was wearing the uniform explained in tape 2 i dont know why but i went back into my video 1 notes after i had watched video 2. organization purposes. i guess.??
i then paused the video when the screen flickered a date, the beginning of video footage dated 10/10/1982 (Brian Stells?) god my little genius ass assuming the videographer was brian stells, based on the id card i saw earlier.
i then wrote down what text i saw on the dead, mangled, bloody body in the purple security suit; “i cant feel anything” “he thought i was her” then drew a little arrow pointing to; thought brian was sophie? or ashley? i also starred the name Brian Stells this is totally out of order LMFAOOOOOOOO also i wrote down ashley because, again, my little pea brain went back on my video 1 notes after watching video 2. but yep thats all i wrote for The Walten Files 1 - Company Introductory Tape
THE WALTEN FILES - VIDEO #2
Tape #1 - created 07/02/1978
awesome how thats first and foremost in the captions. god. so sexy of you martin walls. /j /nsx
this pack of notes is chunkier because again, like i have mentioned before i am an absolute goober and thought the capitalized letters of the words would actually mean something. I MEAN MAYBE THEY DO AND IM JUST DOING IT WRONG but i stopped doing it after this video because holy shit it was exhausting and my stupid little fingers couldnt take the writing anymore becasue i am WEAK.
so write off the bat (squeak) i wrote down 197[] the blacked out rectangle over the last digit of that year and everything im also now assuming its probably 1978 or 1974 because lore reasons but whos to say but yeah i also wrote down this;
Tape #2 - created 08/13/1978
then, straight up in the beginning of the video i caught it, the flash of text, as i had by now realized i gotta be SUPER stupid focused on the screen in case i miss anything, i wanted to be crazy precise on my theorizing and mental notes, among other things. but yes i saw it, the first half of a youtube link; “https://youtu”
claps hands together and rubs them evilly. oh yeah baby. thats the hot lunch. this shit right here? the cats pajamas. lets fucking go.
i wrote down this goofy shit i pasued to inspect when i saw bon sorting through a file cabinet and naturally scribbled down the labels and other written things i could see on the files;
relocate X/X/75 felix
storage K-9 07/23/1975 felix k(ranken)
Bons Burgers 06/28/1974 Jack Walten
Shipping Service 1975
New Location -> 1982
i also wrote down more goofy shit, like when banny was created for some reason; in 1974
starred, i noted to go back and reverse the audio at 5:09, when played back, i didnt write it down so i dont remember. lmao.
i also marked to screenshot and brighten the darkened image i saw at 5:20, i was going to do it on my phone then realized i can just do it on my computer so i quickly took a screenshot, brightened it and wrote down what i saw; a missing person poster that read MISSING: SUSAN WOODINGS(?) Last seen: 1974 i was very unsure of the spelling of her last name because the image was so goddamn low quality and grainy but its what i saw. this is where tape #3 gets thrown in, which im gonna type again because i like how the formatting looks;
Tape #3 - created 07/09/1978 (BEFORE tape 2?!//1/1??? its more likely than you think)
i wrote down more dates, any dates i saw, i jotted down. i wrote;
Technical Support 1978
then,
Brian Stells (for some reason i dont remember right now)
alrighty this is where the stupid capitalized letters come in, but before it looks like i vomit a keysmash time infinity on this, ill put down the little inbetween things i wrote in the midst of the caps lockalypse like timestamps and stuff, so here you go;
- Reverse at 8:16 which i did but of course didnt write down what i heard. i think it was too warbled to hear anything clear out of it, or it was just the good ol auditory processing issues fucking me over yet again. WAIT yep yes i did here it is: “rosemary would go to the restaurant every night hoping that [her] beloved husband would reappear after being missing for weeks but no response until one day [s]he heard a voice [saying] ‘i know where he is rosie’ coming from the back stage” the bracketed stuff is the corrections, i misheard the audio and thought the audio said “his”, “he” and “singing” like a nimrod
- Brighten at 10:14 which was another missing person poster, but i dont think it had any information on it because i didnt write it down, just;
- Sophie again (pic at 9:08?) (dismemberd and put in Sha) i was stupid and wrong haha idiot it was rosemary who was put in sha but anywho
i starred and underlined a huge thing i discovered which was;
- Walten had 3 kids which i dont remember how i found out but it doesnt matter, its good important info i uncovered.
- Tape #4 - Unkown Date
- recorded 07/12-07/14 1978
- Hilary B, Ashley P & Kevin W i made sure to get these names down as soon as i saw them on screen but then realized shortly after i wouldnt really need to have it as the closed captions made sure i knew which person was talking by using their first initial (capitalized of course) before each line of text. this is the perfect time to announce the arrival of the clusterfuck of capital letters, which is going to include colons which will indicate that the letter before it is the initial of the person talking. without further aedue, here comes another chinese earthquake;
TCWTSTATO(K-9)TBSSFWFCNEHAWBSUBIUC(BSIIDC)OWHISF INBIJTILNSPL(K-9)LCSCKCCCWTTLTLITTTYROTFAJAMHPYYSTCSPMBBWSBIB H:NTPPCCK:DA:HH:YCPRPMWTCBCRAWK:JH:SYYTCPBACPSTBAWCA:TK(?):FMTTCMK:TCPNOA:DTOFK:ITNPPRA:YBUTIRRFH:HKIBESRAIA:TCK:WA:WPCCFTRRIDPEH:GGK:GPA:LKK:WA:HNCGTKMK:YH:IGKA:ESK:MFH:RK:HILRLBNTRPPUWHITRRTPEIFEPH:YWBEBPK:MAHPBTRPTRPEL(LN)HTACPKLIKHPFITSKLTKLB(LB?)ISIBSUBIPRW AEBATHSPUAICTPURTWBBRPHTRTIIIILTCITCUCCP S(bpe, be)WA”IDCPBPSIB
holy shit its finally over okay now onto some MORE of what i wrote down in between and also after that keysmash attack;
12 doors? (backrooms) 27? 26? i was unsure because ashley was unsure too lmfao
found cassette (6/11/78) <- says “discard”? yeah it did
Tape in clown audio, speaking voice; jack, susan, charles(?), rosemary, sophie, last word sounds like “walrus” it was walten lmfao
Ashley died? yeah she did lmfao OR AT LEAST I THINK SO??
starred this one, Reverse @ 17:06, then got this;
“they left the next day, they thought ashley left early, but she was in the backdoors, screaming as much as she could, but no one heard the screams, the following days the caretakers would complain about an awful smell coming from the backdoors, company decided to shut down facility until new advice, the relocate project was unsuccessful. ashley is still there, but she is not screaming anymore, she saw something she wasnt supposed to see and now shes beautiful” the phrase “shes beautiful” was repeating like a bajillion times in that wall of text. then, god motherfuckng bless:
at 17:23 i found the other half of the youtube link, “.be/k07QqEDOfQ” i pieced that bad boy together as instant as i think any form of ramen could never be, but remained ever patient. because i made sure to jot down this before moving onto my next segment;
@ end of vid 2, “shadow man sees* me when lights go off” im an idiot *it was actually “feeds” not “sees”, which AGAIN, i only found out after watching the stupid little film theory video *begins snarling and foaming at the mouth*
okay im not proud to admit im editing this to post it and realized ive lost my notes. well.
might as well post what ive got! if i find my shit ill add onto this, i suppose.
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Diabolik Lovers Do-S Kyuuketsu CD Vol. 4: Sakamaki Laito
Original title: ドS吸血CD・逆巻ライト
Source: Diabolik Lovers Do-S Kyuuketsu CD Vol. 4 Sakamaki Laito
Audio: Here
Seiyuu: Hirakawa Daisuke
Translator’s note: HOLY SHIT. I think I finally know what people meant now when they claim that the original Do-S Kyuuketsu CDs are far worse than the games. The first three CDs were pretty on par with Haunted Dark Bridal in terms of sadistic/creepy level in my opinion but of course Laito has to scare the living hell out of me. He is much less cheerful than his game counterpart and really just wants MC-chan to have a bad time. :’’) The one thing I was pleasantly surprised by was the relatively low number of ‘nfu’ in this track. I guess that might be something which they added to his character later on?
*Rustle rustle*
*Knock knock*
[0:06] “Hello~ Laito speaking!”
Laito enters the room.
“Hey there! I’ve got nothing to do so came to hang out~ (1) ...Wait, fufu..fufufu~ Bitch-chan, what a sexy look you’re rocking today.”
You try and cover up.
[0:21] “I wonder why you’re wearing nothing but your shirt~?”
You explain.
“Aaah~ You were getting changed? You just took off your skirt, didn’t you? I see, I see. ...But I knocked, didn’t, I? I entered the room in a very gentleman-like fashion. I didn’t particularly come to peek on you, so please don’t get the wrong idea there.”
You puff out both cheeks.
[0:51] “Ah...My bad, my bad. Don’t mind me and go ahead. You’re going to take off that shirt as well and change into your homewear, right?”
You prompt him to get out but he ignores you.
[1:04] “I wonder if you’re the type to keep their bra on at home...or are you the type to take it off? ...In my humble opinion, no bra feels better to the touch so I’d prefer that.”
You flinch.
[1:19] “But then again, that anticipation leading up to taking it off is hard to pass up on as well. That slight jiggle after they’ve been released from their tight confinement when the hook around the back becomes undone...I love that~”
You frown.
[1:39] “Aaah...But unfortunately, amongst the millions (2) of Bitch-chans in this world, you happen to have a rather petite bust.”
[1:50] “I guess they won’t jiggle just from unhooking the bra, huh? ..What do you think?”
You seem dumbfounded by his question.
[1:57] “Well, I suppose rather than thinking about it, actually trying it out would be faster. ...Bitch-chan, come over here. Let’s try taking off your bra.”
You try and get away.
“Huuh~? You don’t want to? But I’m just dying to see your bouncing breasts.”
Laito grabs hold of your wrist.
[2:22] “Hm...You’re saying no? ...In that case, I don’t mind making a compromise and allowing you to take it off yourself. ...Fufu~ I really am nice, don’t you think?”
[2:45] “Eh? You don’t want that either? Uwah...What a selfish girl you are. ...I wonder if you want to be killed by me? Defiant girls are of no use to me. They should just drop dead...
He corners you.
[3:07] “What will you do? How would you like to die? ...Sleeping drugs or something boring like that are a no-go though. Where’s the fun in that for me? Personally, I think being whipped to death would be rather nice. What do you think? Don’t you think dying at the hand of my whip would be a really unique experience?”
You suddenly answer his question from earlier.
[3:37] “Hm? You’re the type to keep on your bra on even at home? ...Hmm. I see. Oh well, I guess that works? I heard that wearing a bra when you’re young helps keep the firm shape. Ah, but I believe it’s better to take it off when sleeping. If not, the pressure on your breasts will be too great and they won’t grow, apparently. That might be exactly why yours are so small.”
[4:11] “You poor little thing...But you’re going to die right now. I guess this no longer matters, huh? ...Eh? Your answer from earlier referred back to my question about wearing a bra or not? I thought we were done talking about that so why did you bring it up again? I wonder if you’re desperately trying to change the topic because you don’t want to die?”
You shake your head.
[4:44] “Hm...Mmh...I see. You wanted to say that you prefer wearing your bra, so that’s why you didn’t want to take it off? Fufu...Ahahaha...Hahaha! Fufufu...So basically you didn’t want to die, so you endured the embarrassment and actually answered my question! Fufufu...I see~
You get even more flustered.
[5:12] “Look at you getting all red just from answering a simple question like that. You’re so cute, Bitch-chan~ ...Geez, I almost want to gobble you right up.”
[5:26] “Well, I suppose in return for that cuteness, I’ll let you off the hook for today. Uwah! I’m so generous! You won’t find many others Vampires who are quite as nice as I am, you know?
He lets go of you and steps away.
[5:43] “Well then, you can continue changing. I’ll be keeping a close eye on you from over here. ...Come on~ This is the part where you take off your shirt, right?”
You seem hesitant.
[6:00] “Hmm~? I wonder why you won’t take it off? Did you perhaps forget how to unbutton a shirt? In that case, I don’t mind lending a helping hand.”
[6:19] “Fufu...You look very displeased. Hm? You don’t? Hahaha! No point in telling such obvious lies. Your expression looks stiff and I can tell that your body temperature has gone up because you’re nervous.”
Laito takes a deep breath.
[6:51] “Mm~ Just as I thought, the scent of your sweat is mixed in with the air. Fufufu~ ...Aah, no need to panic. Vampires have a good sense of smell. Whether it’s the slightest hint of sweat, or the fragrance of blood being spillt miles away. We can pick those up...right away.”
[7:27] “Convenient, don’t you think? Which is why I can tell that your skin’s coated in a slight sheen of sweat right now.”
[7:39] “Fufufu...Fufufufu...”
He grabs hold of you.
[7:46] “Ahaha! Caught you! Aaah~ ...You really did work up a sweat. See? Even the palms of your hands. Fufufu...I wonder if this is all because of me? Fufufu...Being sweaty feels disgusting, don’t you think? ...I’ll clean you up like this.”
He laps it up.
*Sluuuuurp*
[8:23] “Mmm~ Aah...Haah...”
*Rustle*
[8:31] “It’s the taste of Bitch-chan’s sweat...A mix of tension, anxiety and fear, yet so very sweet~”
[8:44] “When I think that I’m the one who gave birth to this flavor...Fufu...”
*Sluuuuurp*
[8:55] “I’m so happy...Haaah...”
*Sluuuuurp*
[9:06] “What’s the matter? Your body tenses up ever so often? Your breathing’s getting quicker as well. To think you’d react this strongly just from having the palm of your hand licked...You really are adorable.
[9:25] “Say...I wonder what would happen if I were to lick somewhere different?”
*Sluuuuurp*
[9:39] “Fufu...Your earlobe’s so very soft...Haah...Mm...”
Laito nibbles onto your ear.
[9:55] “Mm~ Seems like it’d be great to sink my fangs into as well. Right! I just had a great idea. Say, Bitch-chan? Wouldn’t you like pierced ears? ...Shall I puncture your ears with my fangs right now?”
[10:20] “I think it’d hurt quite a bit and bleed as well, but you know, it’s cheaper than getting it done at a clinic and you don’t have the guts to pierce them yourself, do you?”
You flinch.
[10:35] “What do you think? I think it’s a lovely suggestion of mine though~ ...Eh? If I use my fangs, the holes would be too big? Fufu...Good point. However, nothing wrong with being unique, right? Having large holes in your ears might be the next trend. Well, it’d be one I wouldn’t understand in the slightest.”
You tell him you don’t care for pierced ears.
[11:12] “...Hm? Eeeeh? You don’t plan on getting pierced ears any time soon, huh? ...I see. That truly is a shame. Tell me if you change your mind, okay? I’ll gladly help out.”
You sigh.
[11:35] “Fufufu...You felt relieved just now, didn’t you? The scent of your sweat has changed, Bitch-chan~”
*Sluuuuurp*
You try and get away but bump into something.
*THUD*
[11:49] “Woah...!! What’s wrong, Bitch-chan? DId it tickle? Or did it perhaps...feel too good? ...Tell me. What would have happened if I licked you any longer?”
[12:08] “Slowly losing the strength in your limbs, being embraced by me and eventually getting swallowed by your own carnal desires...Something like that, perhaps? Fufufu...That’s why you tried so hard to fight back, didn’t you? Right~ Bitch-chan~?”
You shake your head.
[12:30] “Hm? That’s not it? ...You don’t like me lapping up the sweat? Eeeeh~? Why? You sweat is just as sweet as blood, and very interesting in how it reflects your feelings directly.”
[12:53] “To think you have all of these bodily fluids which drive me crazy, but you refuse to give them to me...”
[13:00] “Say? Did you already forget what I said earlier? Girls who don’t listen to me have no value. Fufufu...”
Laito steps closer, grabbing hold of your wrist.
[13:22] “Exactly. You don’t, do you. Then, you’ll let me lick you, won’t you?”
[13:34] “Haah...You still insist on fighting back? Heeh...Is it really that embarrassing? Can’t say I relate to that feeling. If you told me you wanted to lap up my sweat, I would gladly let you do so. Fufufu...”
You retaliate.
[14:03] “I know, I know~ You don’t like it, right? I heard you loud and clear, no need to repeat yourself over and over. Geez...Guess you leave me with no choice. When you tell me with such a terrified tone.”
[14:20] “I don’t mind showing you a little mercy, you know? Only a tiny bit though. ...That being said, come here.”
He lifts you into his arms.
[14:36] “Heavy-hoh...Fufu~ What do you think? Swept up in my arms like a little princess~ (3) Girls are weak to this, aren’t they? Even though human females will spread their legs for just about anyone, they’re still fussy about little things like this, aren’t they? I guess it’s nice because it makes them easy to deal with.”
Laito starts stepping forward.
[15:05] “Now don’t struggle and just keep still, okay,? Bitch-chan, I’ve decided we’re going to take a shower together now.”
*Rustle rustle*
“Woah...Fufufu...Fufufufu! Ahahaha! I just told you to keep still and now this? You must really be begging to die, Bitch-chan!
*Rustle rustle*
“Ah...Or would something like this work better on you, huh?”
*Thud*
*Rustle rustle*
His voice suddenly drops.
[15:30] “...’If you make too much of a fuss, I’m gonna fuck (4) you up.’ ...Like that?”
You immediately stop moving.
[15:37] “Mmh~ Thank god. You calmed down. ...You are much cuter that way, Bitch-chan. Nufufu...Fufufu~”
*TIMESKIP*
You arrive in the bathroom.
[15:55] “We’ve arrived at our destination~”
Laito puts you down.
[16:02] “You were such a well-behaved, good girl just now. ...Well then, take off that shirt of yours.”
You seem hesitant.
[16:12] “...Hm? ‘Why’, you ask? I told you, didn’t I? We are going to shower. No matter how stupid my little Bitch-chan may be, I’m sure you know your clothes will get wet if you keep them on? No need to get embarrassed. Not only am I used to seeing girls naked, but I already know that your breasts are small.
[16:39] “From your point of view, there isn’t anything that shouldn’t be seen, right?”
You protest.
[16:46] “What you want to ask is...Why we are taking a shower? Nfufu~ Come on~! You don’t even know that much? You’re the one who brought it up, aren’t you? That you didn’t want me to lick your sweat. Which is why I’ll rinse it off in the shower instead.”
[17:08] “Then any licking that comes afterwards should be fine, right? ...While I do like sweat, of course. I get really excited just from being able to lick your skin. Did you know? The skin has a distinct flavor as well.”
You flinch.
[17:27] “With the sweet flavor of the sweat washed off, I wonder if it’ll taste more pure? ...I suppose slowly tracing your freshly-washed skin with my tongue wouldn’t be bad once in a while, don’t you think?”
[17:44] “When I lick it slowly, I can tell how your blood underneath starts bubbling and slowly rises to the surface. Following the same track as my tongue, it gradually starts heating up...whispering to me, begging to quickly flow inside my body.”
[18:07] “Your blood is so very honest, huh? ...It must be happy to be able to become energy circling through my veins? Just by approaching, your blood promptly starts begging me to be sucked by me.”
He runs his fingers across your skin.
[18:27] “What’s this~? You’ve worked up a sweat again. Fufuf...Ahaha! Haah...I want to lick it off so badly. Your fear-laced taste...However, I can tell. Amidst the fear, anticipation and ecstasy are mixed in as well!”
You shake your head.
[18:58] “No matter how scared you may be, when you recall the pleasure of having me feed off you...Your body starts to slowly heat up, right? The joy from being dominated and sought after by me...”
[19:13] “Come on...Try remembering it.”
[19:22] “The sharp pain emitting from your neck as I bite down, and your precious life which flows out of there. ...At first, it may in fact be somewhat scary. However, you know, don’t you? Soon enough, the intense pain will turn into a sweet tingling, steadily taking control of your entire body.
[19:48] “From your neck to your collarbone, then your chest. To the very tips of your breasts. Trailing down your soft belly, to deep inside of what makes you a woman.”
[20:04] “Going even further down, tickling the inside of your thighs, Taking all strength from your knees, down to your ankles. A sweet sensation runs through every nook and cranny of your body, until you will never again be able to get away from me.”
[20:24] “Even though the blood your life depends on is slowly being drained, you beg me to suck more.”
[20:35] “You can no longer be stopped. ...Fufufu...Fufu...Does it ring a bell? Those are the reactions you gave me when I sucked your blood last time.”
[20:54] “You were so cute~ Truly. Fufuf...Fufufufu.”
You push him away.
*THUD*
You start running.
[21:06] “What’s the matter? Suddenly dashing off toward the bathing area (5) with your cheeks flushed a dark red like that! You haven’t even taken off your shirt yet! Is showering with your clothes on a personal preference of yours, perhaps~ Ahaha~”
Laito walks up to you.
[21:22] “That might be rather interesting as well. In that case, I suppose I’ll follow your example and go in with my clothes on. While I’d prefer to connect skin-to-skin, I’ll adjust to your tastes for once. I’m a gentleman after all.”
[21:43] “Well, I will take off my jacket though...There we go.”
He tosses aside his jacket.
[21:52] “Fufufu~ Mmh, mmh. Standing face to face wearing only a shirt might be nice as well. I’ve never stepped inside the bathing area with my clothes on, so it feels very refreshing.”
[22:12] “Well then, it’s a waste, but let’s rinse off this sweat. ...Come here.”
Laito turns on the shower head.
*Pshhhhhhhhh*
[22:23] “What’s the matter? I told you come here, right?”
You refuse.
[22:29] “I wonder why you’re shaking your head?”
You explain.
[22:34] “You came running in here because you want to take a shower with me, didn’t you? ...Come on. I doubt any good will come from upsetting me.”
You try and get away but bump into the wall.
[22:52] “You’ll only hit the wall over there~ I wonder where you’re trying to run away to? ...I’ve had enough of your pointless struggling.”
He walks up to you.
[23:04] “Come on!”
He grabs hold of your wrist.
“Gotcha...!”
*Pshhhhhhhh*
[23:09] “Aah-aaah~ You got drenched in the blink of an eye! This is what happens when you try and get away from me. And here I was thinking of holding you in my arms, carefully rinsing off the sweat bit by bit. You totally ruined my kind mood, Bitch-chan.”
He turns up the water pressure.
*PSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHH*
[23:29] “Ahahahaha!!! Does it hurt? Hey, don’t turn your head! Look this way! You have to endure it! ...Hm? What? Ahahahaha!!! You’re trying to say something? But if you open your mouth, the water will get inside and you’ll only struggle breathing even more! Ahahahaha!!! Look at you crouching down...Fufu, looks rough. What’s wrong? Having a hard time? Come on! Why don’t you try your best and beg for my mercy!? ‘Please stop, I’m begging you...!’, just like that! Ahahahaha!!”
He turns off the shower head.
“Fufufu...Fufu...”
*Splash splash*
[24:17] “Aah-aaaah~ You really were suffering out there. I’m sure you must have downed quite a bit of water. Fufufu...”
[24:30] “Are you crying? I just loooove that expression. It really gets me going. ...Furthermore, take a look. Get a good look at yourself. Your shirt’s clinging to your skin and it has become see-through.”
You try and cover up.
[24:49] “You’re so erotic, Bitch-chan~ ...When I look at you like this, keeping your shirt on really was the right choice after all. The sex appeal you’d lack when naked, has increased quite a bit with that see-through shirt.”
You start panicking.
*Splash splash*
[25:07] “Fufufu~ No point in still trying to hide it! From the moment I laid my eyes on you, I already got a clear grasp on your body, down to your three sizes. Besides, this wouldn’t be the first time I see you naked either.”
[25:23] “I seriously don’t get why you get embarrassed time after time?”
[25:30] “...Hm? ...Huh~? Are you shivering, perhaps? Fufufu...So you’re cold, huh? Of course you’d be! I used cold water after all! Ahahaha!!”
*Splash*
“On top of that you’re sitting in the tub filled with water! Your drenched clothes must be so incredibly cold, I bet it feels like you’re freezing?”
[26:00] “Your hair’s completely soaked as well, sticking your skin. You poor little thing...You look as if you’re freezing.”
He runs his hand across your cheek.
[26:14] “Your skin’s this cold as well...It’s almost like the dolls Kanato-kun puts together. All color has faded, making you look alarmingly pale. You can’t suck blood from a doll though, so I definitely prefer this option.”
[26:40] “Come on. How long are you gonna remain seated? You’re in front of me right now. You have to properly stand on your legs.”
Laito pulls you up.
*SPLASH*
[26:54] “You’re shaking on your legs...Fufu...Seems like you’ve lost quite a bit of strength. I’d love to lock you up in here and observe as you slowly become more and more weakened. You have water so you won’t die so easily. Don’t you think that sounds rather fun?”
You shake your head.
[27:15] “Aah...But if you die, I won’t be able to indulge in your sweet blood anymore, huh? That would be troubling. You are my favorite prey after all~”
[27:31] “Your blood, you see, it melts on the tongue like sugary candy, but it’s rich just like fresh cream. Regardless, it’s juicy like the strawberries on top of the cake, and stickingly sweet like chocolate. To think such a feast would be lurking underneath the unsighty and filthy flesh of a human female.”
[28:00] “It’s almost like a nightmare...I can barely stand it by this point. I wonder why you are like a first-rate prey to me? Even though you’re a rebellious, stupid, disgusting human...On top of that, you are very dishonest. While you pretend to enjoy having your blood sucked by me, you are also happily offering your body to the other guys after all.”
[28:35] “I doubt there are many other girls who are quite as sly as you are?”
*Splash splash*
[28:41] “Fufufu...Why are you desperately trying to defend yourself? You’re exactly what your name leads to believe, right? (6) You’re buttering up those stronger than you, making yourself at home at our manor like this.”
[28:56] “Which is why...I think you’re so very cute, Bitch-chan...”
Your eyes widen in surprise.
[29:06] “Hah...Hahaha! No need to be that surprised! I’m always telling you, aren’t I? How you’re so very cute...I do that because I truly feel that way from the bottom of my heart. You are cute. Very much so. Your horribly spoilt, rotten personality is very charming. When I look at you, I simply can’t help but want to make you cry! I want to crush you with my hands, or trample all over you with my feet...Dragging all those erotic cries out of you!”
[29:42] “Or...have you already allowed the other guys to do that to you? You would accept just about anyone if they drive you in a corner, wouldn’t you? Whether that person is a human, or a Vampire, even a beast you probably would give a pass. That’s just how shameless you aren’t, right?”
You remain quiet.
[30:04] “Fufu...How about you actually say something instead of just shaking like a leaf? ...I wonder if you’ve grown faint from the cold? Becoming tired as your body cools down is something you hear often, right? Fufufu...Are you okay?”
[30:29] “Your body temperature has dropped. ...Aaah~ How nice. Those hollow eyes as if you could die at any second. Why are you giving me that look? Simply because you’re cold? Or are you in shock because you’ve finally reazlied just how ugly you really are inside?”
[30:55] “It’s okay, you don’t need to make that kind of expression. In my eyes, that unsighty side of yours is very precious after all. Mm~ I’m so kind, aren’t I? After all, I love this Bitch-chan~ Nfufufu...Ahahahahaha! Hahahahaha!!! Ahahaha!!!!”
*TIMESKIP*
*Pshhhhhhhhhh*
[31:39] “...Have you awakened, Bitch-chan?”
*Splash*
“You suddenly fainted on me, you know? That’s so boring, I totally lost interest. Geez...Get yourself together, okay? You can’t just remain spoilt forever. Honestly, humans who only get doted on are filth. You shouldn’t assume that there will always be someone there to save you.”
He turns off the water.
[32:07] “However, only for today I helped you out. You better be grateful, okay? This time I made sure to use warm water. If I left you be, you might have actually died after all.”
[32:24] “I made a careless mistake, but humans are even more fragile than I thought, you see? How boring. I was hoping I’d be able to push you down into the water, enjoying the sight of you suffering as you gasp for air.”
*Splash*
[32:42] “I could easily spend the whole day watching your face twist in pain, you see? Playing with you really is so much fun, I can’t stop. New ways to mess with you just keep on popping up in my head one after the other.”
You frown.
[33:00] “Fufu...You just scrunched up your face in disgust, didn’t you? Aah, that expression just now was so nice! Try doing that one more time! ...No! I don’t want to see it twisted in fear! Look at me with disgust!”
You flinch.
[33:16] “I’m not upset or anything so relax. Come on...Give it a try. ...Aah~ No good. A forced expression just can’t match with the real deal at all. If I had to put it into words, right now only your eyes are glaring at me. I do think it is good to be headstrong though. I’m the type of guy when someone gives me that look, I want to force them on their knees, humiliating them to the core.”
You shiver.
[33:52] “The fact you still chose to defy me is so incredibly foolish and naive. (7) I’m sure your brain knows that no matter how much you struggle, you can never stand up to me, right?”
[34:03] “But your feelings just can’t catch up to that, right? ...You just can’t accept my actions, so you grow frustrated, barely able to contain your anger, right!? Aha...ahaha!!”
You seem appalled by his words.
[34:18] “Amazing...Come on, try and give that frustration and anger shape to turn it into hatred...You see, I just love provoking those who defy me! The more they look at me with disgust, the more turned on I get. It really lights that flame within me! Makes me want to rip both their body and soul to shreds! ...What do you think? Still lacking hatred? In that case, shall I teach you everything I did to you while you were out cold?”
You look at him in pure fear.
[34:55] “You can’t possibly think that all I did was give you a shower, right?”
You suddenly jump up.
*SPLASH*
“Nfufu~ You only realized just now? Exactly...The buttons of your shirt are undone. You woke up while I was wondering whether I should fix them or not after all.”
[35:20] “However, I did put your bra back on, you know? It’s unbelievable how much of a gentleman I am, don’t you think? ...Ah! The hook goes into the furthest slot, right?”
You flush bright red.
[35:34] “Bitch-chan, you have to ensure you don’t widen your band size (8) any further, okay? If your cup gets any smaller, I wouldn’t know what to do. ...I wouldn’t want your blood to turn all oily and greasy either.”
You return to the previous topic.
[35:51] “Eh? What I did while you were unconsciousness? ...’What’, you ask? Fufufu...So you really don’t remember anything. I see~ ...In that case, it might be more fun to keep it a secret~?”
You protest.
[36:13] “It’d be much more fun to try and imagine what I might have done to you while you had fainted, don’t you think? Go ahead, let your imagination run wild. Make sure to include the worst case scenarios as well~”
You think out loud.
[36:31] “Hm...? Ah, yeah. I licked you. Of course. After all, I brought you here to lick your skin after washing off all the sweat. I had time to kill anyway, so I made sure to lick you all over.”
You flinch.
[36:52] “Even though you were asleep, your body was twitching, you know? ...Geez~ You really are so lewd.”
You ask if he is telling the truth.
[37:06] “Mm~ Exactly. Not missing a single spot. From head to toe, you see. ...I don’t think there is still a single spot on your body left which my tongue has not touched. Nfufu~”
[37:28] “You must be happy, right? ...I’m don’t exactly feel the same though. Since you were out cold, even if your body would react, you wouldn’t make any noises, so it was rather boring.”
[37:46] “Hmm~ I know. ...Right now you are awake, right? Perhaps I should do the same thing over again? ...Exactly! Let’s do that! If I do that, I’m sure you would strongly oppose me, right? Ufufufu...”
You try and escape.
*SPLASH*
[38:10] “...Woah there! ...You little fool~ No way I’d let you go. Well then, where should we start? ...I know. The back sounds good. Come on. Lay face down...!”
Laito pushes you down face first into the water.
*SPLASH*
[38:37] “What is so charming about the back, you see...Is the outwardly visible line of your spine. When you trace your tongue across, you can clearly feel the little bumps, I think it is very sensual. Fufufu...”
[38:56] “Starting from the base of your nape...”
*Sluuuuuurp*
“Mm...Haah...I’ll carefully run my tongue all the way to the middle of your back.”
*Sluuuuurp*
[39:14] “Nfufu~ ...Does it feel good? Or does it feel that disgusting, you’re boiling with hatred? Ahahaha...”
*Splash*
[39:29] “Your expression tells me you don’t like it very much. Great! I love it! While you were unconsciousness, I was doing these kind of things the whole time, you see? Ahaha...Hahaha...I want to just lick your entire body...Every single part...Lick it all over...Mm...”
*Sluuuuuurp*
[39:58] “After I passed the middle, it’s finally time for your lower back. When I dip my tongue inside the curve, doesn’t it feel like someone just lit a fire inside of you?”
*Sluuuuuurp*
[40:17] “...Right? Mm...So delicious...It’s so delicious...Nfu~ I can tell your blood has started to grow restless. You may look at me with disgust, but both your body and blood are crying out, begging to become mine soon.”
[40:56] “Your obviously slutty attitude...Makes me gag. Say? How many guys have you seduced this way? I’m sure you’ve had some of the other guys living in this manor play with you as they please, haven’t you?”
[41:18] “But you didn’t fight that. Exactly. You don’t dislike it, do you? After all, you’re a Bitch-chan. ...You might be possessed by a sex demon, you know? After all~ You’ve become heated all over.”
[41:46] “I’m sure you can at least tell the changes occurring inside your own body? Right? Bitch-chan. Look this way!”
*Splash*
[42:00] “Ufufu...I knew it. Your eyes are watering. Your breath’s ragged as well. ...Is it rough, being teased and left waiting like this? I like it when you fight back too, but seeing you long for me like this is simply irresistable as well.”
[42:26] “...Huh? Have you forgotten how to beg, Bitch-chan? When there’s something you want...What do you have to do again~?”
[42:42] “Fufu~ Exactly, exactly. You stick out your tongue like a bitch (9), and start by kissing me, right?”
[42:56] “Licking your lips...”
*Sluuuurp*
"Entwining our tongues...Haahn...”
Laito kisses you passionately.
[43:13] “Exactly... Mmh...Nn...”
*Smooch*
[43:24] “You’re a great kisser per usual. You’ve always been, ever since the first time we kissed. Mmh...Aahn...”
*Smooch*
[43:40] “Bitch-chan’s tongue...is so delicious...Ahn...Scrumptious...Haahn...You are also...begging for more and more, right? I can tell. I can. As to be expected from a lewd slut who is a natural at seducing men. You pretend to be an innocent maiden, but the way you use your tongue...Just how many men have you wrapped around your finger this way?”
[44:23] “You really are...unsighty. Like an overripe, rotten fruit which has dropped to the ground. Even though you’re tainted to the core, only your fragrance remains this fresh and sweet. ...When I look at you, Bitch-chan, a bright red poisoned apple comes to mind.”
He kisses you again.
[44:55] “Mm...”
[45:02] “Fufu...So, what do you want to do? Do you want me to lick your back more? Or would you prefer someplace else?”
You protest.
[45:22] “No..? Fufu...Thenー This? ...Do you want my fangs pierced deep inside your flesh, toying with your body?”
You shake your head.
[45:45] “Fufufu...’I never said that’, you claim? Even if you don’t put it into words...Your blood is preaching it. I was just starting to get a little peckish myself. I’d love to latch onto various places of your body and quench this thirst of mine.”
[46:16] “Won’t you show me more...More of that appalled expression of yours, Bitch-chan?”
[46:24] “You have to continue struggling in vain, or else it is no fun for me. ...Come on. You don’t want to submit to me, do you? Haahn...Mmh...”
Laito kisses you deeply.
*Splash splash*
You bite his tongue.
[46:53] “Fufufu...Ahaha...That hurt, you know? Hahaha...You sure have guts to bite down on my tongue like that.”
[47:13] “Exactly, just like that! You have to fight back more like that! Fufu...Look at that disgusted expression of yours! Even though your blood is practically begging for me! You continuously refuse to accept me! Fufu...”
[47:36] “That side of yours is truly foolish, and oh-so lovable, Bitch-chan. Aha...Ahahaha! ...Well then, let’s see how long you will last. Your true self is thoroughly corrupted and obscene after all. I wonder how long it will take until you start crying and begging for me? ...Try your best enduring it, okay?”
[48:09] “Well then, it is time for your long-awaited...painful pleasure.”
He bites you.
*Gulp gulp*
*Splash*
[48:47] “Per usual...It’s so sweet, it might give me heartburn...Haah...It’s delicious, Bitch-chan...”
*Sluuuuurp*
[49:06] “Aah...It keeps on flowing out, doesn’t it? It’s oozing out of your body, my tongue can’t keep up. The bright red against your wet skin is very beautiful.”
[49:26] “I can’t just watch...”
*Sluuuuurp*
[49:41] “Aah~ Take a look! Your blood has dissolved into the water, spreading slowly...It almost resembles the wings of a poisonous insect.
[49:59] “It’s a perfect fit for a dirty Bitch-chan such as yourself...”
He continues sucking your blood.
*Sluuuuurp*
[50:17] “Your shirt’s been dyed a deep crimson as well...However, a darker shade of red would suit you much better. Say...Do you know where I have to bite for dark red blood to gush out?”
[50:35] “...I know very well. The dark red blood on its way back to the heart isn’t as fragrant as its bright red counterpart, so I’m not exactly the biggest fan of it. However, it’s a color which fits you so perfectly, so I’ll make an exception and color you with it. ...See?”
Laito bites your chest.
*Gulp gulp*
[51:18] “Aaahn...Mmh...”
*Sluuuuurp*
[51:29] “Regardless of the type of blood...Yours is always so sweet...Say? Can you tell? This delicate taste...Mmh...”
*Smooch*
“Ah...”
[51:57] “Pft...Aha...Ahahaha! Isn’t it delicious? Furthermore, you became cuter in the blink of an eye. Those lips stained with blood, almost as if you’ve died.”
[52:21] “I’m not into necrophilia, but seeing you weakened to the point of dying gets me really turned on. I can’t get enough of it...”
*Sluuuuurp*
[52:38] “The blood just keeps on flowing from your neck, doesn’t it? ...However, you feel so incredibly good right now, don’t you? I can tell that your whole body is shuddering with excitement. ...Yet, those eyes are still as defiant as ever. Fufu...I’m happy you’re willing to loathe me this much. ...Makes me realize that I have to return the favor and suck you even more.”
[53:22] “I wonder where you would hate it the most~? Fufu...Here, perhaps~?”
He bites you once more.
*Gulp gulp*
[53:51] “Haah...Your shoulder and...your armpit as well...”
*Sluuuuurp*
[54:05] “Come on. Does it hurt? Or does it feel good perhaps?”
*Sluuuuurp*
*Splash*
[54:16] “Fufu...Why are you holding back so much? Because you keep your fists clenched so strongly, the delicious-looking veins on your wrists have become visible.”
[54:32] “Exactly...Come on, rejoice.”
*Sluuuuurp*
[55:43] “Right over here...I’ll give you a mark which will forever remain.
*SPLASH SPLASH*
[54:51] “Go ahead, struggle as much as you’d like! No matter how much you fight back, you’ll never be freed...! Mmh...”
*Gulp gulp*
[55:07] “Haah...It’s so delicious...It’s almost as I’m eating your pulsing life as a whole. It feels the best. Haahn...Mm...”
*Gulp gulp*
[55:40] “Ahaha...Hahaha! What’s the matter? Have you lost all strength in your body? Makes sense! I’ve been draining your blood after all...You poor little thing. I feel for you. However, that doesn’t mean I’m gonna stop just yet. You have to hang in there until I’m satisfied, okay?”
He leans in.
[56:10] “Next up is...this place. I’ll go for these white, plush-looking thighs. I like this area quite a bit.”
*Gulp gulp*
[56:31] “You see...Mmh...”
*Sluuuuurp*
[56:40] “I’ve already made up my mind that the moment I choose to devour you...I’ll start with the thighs. Fufufu...It’s where your flesh is at its softest, it just triggers something inside of me.”
[56:54] “Besides, you just love it when I lick your thighs, don’t you? Like this...”
*Sluuuuurp*
[57:10] “Ahaha! Your eyes just lit up with passion, didn’t they!? I saw it crystal clear! Fufufu...So cuuuute~ Even though you’re running low on blood and could die any second. Even though you hate me, you still thought it felt good, didn’t you!? Must be so frustrating! I bet you’re dying from humiliation right now! Ahahaha!”
*Splash*
[57:37] “Your eyes are shooting daggers at me! Even though it felt so good, you feel like you could just lose your mind even right now! ...Haah...”
*Sluuuuurp*
[57:52] “When you glare at me that much, it actually gives me the impression that you’re tempting me. Say, are you? Do you want to be sucked dry by me? Mmh...”
*Smooch*
“Mm...”
*Gulp gulp gulp*
[58:20] “I don’t mind...I’ll suck you as much as you like...”
*Sluuuuurp*
[58:37] “Just by sucking your blood like this, it feels so good for me as well, my head’s spinning...Mm...”
*Gulp gulp*
“Mm...”
*Gulp gulp*
[59:01] “So good...”
*Gulp gulp gulp*
[59:10] “Haah...Aah~ ...Hey. Shall we play a little game? We’ll place bets on whether you’ll die from blood loss first, or if I’ll get exhausted before that.”
You frown.
[59:33] “I’m quite persistent you see, so I’m sure it’ll be a thrilling match~ Fufufu...Come on, I’ll let you choose first.”
*Sluuuuurp*
[59:47] “What will you bet on?”
You remain silent.
[59:56] “Aah, I see. Are you no longer able to think straight from the pleasure? Or perhaps you’re lightheaded from losing too much blood?”
[1:00:09] “Either way, you can’t answer like this. Perhaps...my words are already no longer getting through to you? You really are so incredibly foolish. Fufu...Haahn...”
*Sluuuuurp*
[1:00:36] “I’ll suck from your thighs again, okay?”
*Gulp gulp*
[1:00:49] “Geez...Look at you spreading your legs wide open...You’re fully exposing yourself to me, but you don’t even realize because you’re totally out of it. Mm...”
Laito continues sucking your blood.
[1:01:15] “I wonder if you’ll still be alive the next time you open your eyes? Or will you be dead? Fufufu...I’m looking forward to finding out, Bitch-chan~! Ahahaha! Hahahaha! Ah, geez! You’re just too cute! I can’t get enough! Mm...”
*Gulp gulp*
[1:01:53] “I wonder if you’re pretending to be dazed because you want me to have my way with you? I guess you’re not that cunning of a woman, huh? I’ll suck from your other thigh as well...”
*Splash*
“Haahn...Mm...”
*Sluuuuurp*
[1:02:26] “Mm~ ...Just as I thought, you won’t wake up. In that case, I’ll suck you lots while you’re out cold, okay? Bitch-chan~”
He leans in close.
[1:02:45] “I hope you have the most frightening of nightmares...Fufufu...”
[1:02:55] “Well then...Goodnight.”
ーー THE END ーー
Translation notes
(1) The word 遊ぶ or ‘asobu’ in Japanese has many different connotations. The core definition is ‘play’, but it can also mean to ‘hang out (with friends)’ or even ‘mess around’ in a more...’adult’ manner, so to speak. *cough*
(2) Literally he says ‘as many as the number of stars’.
(3) In Japanese the term お姫様抱っこ or ‘ohime-sama dakko’ refers to a man carrying a girl in his arms, similar to the English ‘bridal’carry’.
(4) Laito uses the term 犯す or ‘okasu’ here, which is (amongst other things) also used to refer to rape/sexual assault.
(5) Most Japanese bathrooms have a little in-between area between the door and the actual area with the bath/shower/etc. This is where you are supposed to take off your clothes and put them in the laundry basket. So even though they entered the bathroom already, they aren’t standing by the shower itself yet.
(6) Laito drops the line ‘Bitch-chan, you are a ‘Bitch-chan’, right?’, which is basically him implying that she is a slut/a girl with loose morals. Even though I do translate his nickname as ‘Bitch-chan’ because it’s so iconic by this point, any other translation would seem strange. However, the word ‘ビッチ’ (Bitch) in Japanese is actually what you would call a ‘slut’ in English.
(7) Even though he uses the term 可愛い or ‘kawaii’ here, I chose not to translate it as cute given the context. While everyone obviously knows this word as ‘cute’, it actually has a lot of hidden connotations like ‘naive’, ‘weak’ or ‘dependent’.
(8) When measuring for someone’s bra size, you actually have to take two sizes into account. The first is the band size (called ‘under’ in Japanese) and refers to the measurement right underneath your chest. The smaller the difference between this measurement and your actual bust size, the smaller the cup.
(9) Laito says 雌犬 or ‘mesu-inu’ here which means ‘female dog’ but since another term for that is ‘bitch’ in English, I couldn’t resist but use the pun here. xD
#diabolik lovers#dialovers#laito sakamaki#do-s kyuuketsu cd#diabolik lovers translation#diabolik lovers drama cd#drama cd
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The Destiel Folder: Season 10
[Season 4; Season 5; Season 6; Season 7; Season 8; Season 9]
Episode 1:
Cas is slowly dying, practically naked, in a bed, and the first thing he says when talking about Dean is "I miss him" (6:35), with a soft smile. "Why would he just disappear?"
... I'm sorry but If Cas Were A Woman, this would look like a scene from a movie or something, where the wife talks to a friend over the phone about her missing husband. JUST SAYING
Crowley: "The girl seemed nice. Slightly damaged. I could see the old you falling for that." (9:29) uhm... who else is "nice and slightly" damaged? I don't know... CASTIEL??!!!
So... these two men (actors Todd Mann and Brad Mann) we see with the DemonGang, are real life twins (9:14).
At (27:18), Crowley states him and Dean did "extroardinary things to triplets" ... and, well, the only twins with a possible other sibling we see are... them
And this is not the first time we hear about Dean doing "things to triplets" with a buddy of his (15x07)... and the first time he was NOT a demon... so, there's that. And triplets don't necessarily mean "all females"
Cas, while talking about the good things that come with choices, mentions "hope, love, dreams" (39:06), and Hannah points out that "those are human things". Human things...
Cas is talking about his own personal experiences with creating chaos, so those are the things he felt after rebelling for... Dean... WOW. ICWAW, it would totally be read it as a reference to Dean. A romantic one. Fight me
Episode 2:
Cas is dying, just got back from a fight that left him wounded, doesn't have enough power to heal himself, is on a mission to restore Heaven, and once again he chooses to go save Dean (9:35), and the way rage builds in his eyes when learning Dean has become a demon. Look at this shit
I might be crazy, but this feels like a touching metaphor to me:
"I think you don't know what you want. Tell me, Dean. What are you? A demon? [...] Maybe you're human. [...] Why don't you do us all a great, big favor... and pick a bloody side!" (22:22)
METAPHOR
Episode 3:
We are reminded that, even tho in terrible conditions, on the verge of death, Cas is willing to risk it all to save Dean, and is devastated by the thought of Dean not making it (4:47 - 5:17)
This is so funny to me, I'm sorry, but Cas is so visibly uncomfortable with Hannah touching him, it's hilarious (15:58)
"I've been around humans for long enough to see how easily distractions occur. Emotions, feelings... They're dangerous temptations." (22:32) like rebelling against your own kind, destroying your home, falling... all for a human?
"I'm trying to keep our priorities clear." Moments earlier, Cas listed "Getting to Dean" (22:17) before anything else. In fact, Hannah says "I am very clear of my priorities... and yours." = Dean (23:00)
Cas is not sure whether the cure will kill Dean or not, and in any case, he wraps his arms around him, and softly says "It's over... Dean it's over." (35:40) as if hushing him to sleep, in what could have been their last moments together... wow. Think about this ICWAW
"Well, I can see his point. Only humans can feel real joy, but... also such profound pain. This is easier." (36:17) Look at the way Sam is looking at Cas looking at Dean
BITCH OKAY!!
SAM KNOWS
POSSIBILE future Empty reference "real joy"
Cas already stated he misses being human, but knows how fragile they are in both body and spirit:
Castiel really wants to be with Dean. For real. But maybe he thinks (see season 9) him being an angel is an obstacle to their feelings.
Only by being human he can truly be happy (MMMMMMHH SEASON 15), but isn't sure he could handle the pain that comes with it. A possible rejection, the thought of Dean dying, him leaving Dean... MMMMHHHHH
"You look terrible." [...] "Well, you, on the other hand, you... *checks out Cas* Looking good." (39:09) full homo right there. Also parallel with Ketch in 13x18 ("You don't look good." "Yeah, well, you're not my type, either.")
The way they are looking at each other here... man.
Cas is so happy to have Dean back, and Dean looks hurt about Cas leaving so soon.
"So... so, you're back?" "At least temporarily." (39:27) bitch, you know that's not what he ment.
In all of this, Cas is trying to make Dean feel better about the whole situation (DAT SMILE 40:18), and Dean replies with "I'm glad you're back, man.", basically no-homoing himself...
Cas starts walking out of the room, but stops and turns back [insert concerned husband here] (40:27), and Dean has that hopeful look in his eyes, like Cas is going to stay, and the hurtful look comes back as soon as Cas is gone
Episode 4:
"On your knees!" "Wow, I'm awfully flattered-" (34:33) SASSY BI DEAN IS THE DEAN WE DESERVE
Episode 5:
Fucking kill me NOW!!! Dean's reaction to Destiel is PRICELESS!! And even before he learns what that is, he just looks at the girls playing him and Cas and... freezes for a moment (13:18) And the eyebrow raise thingy at (13:34)... what's going on in your brain, Dean?
I'd like to point out that the Italian translation for "You can't spell 'subtext' without S-E-X" is, for once, AMAZING:
"It's just that... their bond is so strong it has subtext of a... sexual nature."
THANK YOU ITALIAN DUB! JUST THIS ONCE, THANK YOU! (13:43)
Also at (9:44) Dean immediately reacts to the implication of Wincest subtext, shutting it down and telling the girls to take a step back, but with Destiel he is like... alright
... this is so fucking cute, (25:54) Dean adjusts the girl playing Cas' tie so that it's messed up like the real Cas'. ADORABLE
SAM SHIPS IT (13:57) and is teasing the SHIT out of Dean, who reacts like someone being teased about their crush. Just saying (14:08 - 14:52) [AND THIS HAPPENS IN FRONT OF A PINK-BLUE WALL]
"I know I have expressed some differences of opinion regarding this version of Supernatural." (26:44) ... oookay meta? *turns to "Cas"* "And I want you to put as much sub into that text as you possibly can." ... oKAY?!
Episode 7:
Cas being extremely uncomfortable with women is too fucking funny to me (5:03 - 12:51)
Episode 9:
(15:13) Alright, so, this is a date... what now? Anyway, nice bi flannel, Dean. And the little sweet smiles you two are giving each other? So fucking precious (16:01)
"I ain't exactly a role model." "That's not true." (16:07) how Dean looks at Cas right after that? BABIES!
"How are you, Dean?" "Fine." "*I-call-bullshit look*" "I'm great!" "No, you're not." (16:18) #MARRIED
As Cas is choke-holding a guy, Dean, clearly amused (almost proudly), says "I'd do what he says." (22:17) Like that time with Raphael in 5x03, Dean likes it when Cas gets rough
Episode 10:
Shut the fuck up and marry each other already so you can finally actually BE the old married couple™️ you ALREADY ARE (22:17)
This is the "My husband is so FUCKING STUPID" look (22:30)
"I was hoping you might reach out to her." "... Me? I'm probably the last person she'd want to hear from." [...] "All I know... is she won't talk to me." (23:03) #MARRIED, PARENTS, PERIODT
Shut the fuck up. Cas is the dad trying to figure out technology (23:36) "I'll text you her number. I like texting. Emotions!" DAD
Cas worries about Dean like a wife would with an alcoholic husband
Of all the things Dean could be MAD about at Metateon... the first thing he can think of is him stealing Cas' grace (31:33) (okay, maybe he is going in chronological order but STILL)
Episode 11:
[I AM SO SO SO SORRY BUT DEAN USED THE ALIAS "PRESLEY" (18:55) I AM NOT OKAY]
Episode 14:
Have this deleted scene: Castiel and Crowley bitching over Dean, and Crowley calling Dean Cas' boyfriend
This is some hell of a goodbye-eye-love-making scene (26:57)
Cain compares himself to Dean... and CAS TO HIS WIFE COLLETTE [PARALLELS]
"You're living my life in reverse [...]
First you'd kill Crowley. You'd get it done, no remorse. (Cain had been killing his descendants, for whom he didn't care much)
And then you'd kill the angel, Castiel. Now, that one... that, I suspect, would hurt something awful. [And than Sam is Able, bla bla...]"
AM I WRONG?! YOU'RE GONNA LOOK AT ME AND TELL ME THAT I'M WRONG??!!!
Dean gives the First Blade to Cas... oKAY (37:10)
Worried brother-in-laws (41:27)
Episode 16:
This is such a good source of hidden meanings scene! Dean starts his "confession" as a scam. Everything he says at first is to attract the spirit.
He starts talking about seeing lots of women, not being able to control himself, and being sick of it. Then the real confession begins...
Dean feels he's going to die soon, and fears not death itself, but what he would be missing from his life.
"There's things... people, feelings that I... I would experience differently than I had before. Or even for the first time." (25:28) and the priest believes Dean is talking about love.
Well... "people, feelings"... who could he be referring to? Does Dean want love all of a sudden? People he wants to experience for the first time... uhmmmm... Is Dean opening up to his attraction to MEN??!! Or one angel in particular?
ICWAW we would guess Dean was talking about Cas
"Who mixes their blood and bones into paint? No woman has ever done that for me." (39:19) UHM- Dean, what about
6x20 "He has bled, died bla bla bla for us",
7x21 "I'm always happy to bleed for the Winchesters" or
9x22 "You just gave up an entire army for one guy"
ICWAW we would ALL roll our eyes at this statement and scream CAS
THE GUY BLED, LOST HIS HOME, REBELLED, DIED FOR YOU!! HE REBUILT YOU PIECE BY PIECE FROM HELL- SAVED YOU DOZENS OF TIMES!!!
Episode 17:
About saving Dean from the Mark: "We won't- (free Metatron)" "Yes, you will... because you're desperate." (9:44) Hannah knows. Let's remark that
"All I'm getting from you is... colours." (14:26) bitch he is a walking 🌈PRIDE FLAG🏳️🌈
Notice how, when we get a Sam-Cas centred episode, we don't get the same interactions with Dean-Cas? Why this?
Dean is always ready to call Cas a "brother", but the only one true bromance here is Sam and Cas'. There are no longing stares, no weird sexual filled dialogue nor tension, NO LONGING STARES
Facts, my people. Facts
Episode 18:
"You killed my friend." "Oh, pff, Dean is fine, mostly. Can't you get past that?" "Never." (12:39)
Charlie being excited about meeting Dean's famous boyfriend is WHOLESOME (37:34)
To have Cas back, 100%, safe and sound, is a win for Dean (38:58) and the face Cas makes after Dean hits him with another no-homo "It's good to have you back, pal." is "UHH not this again". Charlie already ships it
Episode 20:
A #MARRIED couple and their daughter. NO ARGUMENTS VALID (7:06)
Look at how they enter the motel (16:22)
OH MY GOOOOOD!!! #PARENTS coming back home from shopping!! THE HAND ON THE SHOULDER!!! Also
"Happy birthday. I got it at the Hot Topical" DAD
Dean: "Imma head back over there." Cas: "I'm coming with you." Claire: "I'm coming with you too." (17:24) #FAMILY
A fucking family comedy about a dad confronting the daughter's boyfriend and the other dad scolding him:
"What did you do to him?" "I didn't lay a hand on him!" "Dean, that isn't exactly true." "... Well, I didn't kill the guy." (17:14)
Surprisingly enough, this is not the first nor last time Dean acts like a dad to a lost child (AND TWO OF THESE TIMES THE KID IS SOMEHOW RELATED TO CAS) (21:54)
Episode 22:
C: "Claire, you are not going out there. [...] It's too dangerous. I can't let anything happen to you." D: "Claire, you're not going." C: "You're not either, Dean." D: "What?" (19:29)
#FAMILY DON'T TALK TO ME!
"No fighting. [...] Both of you." AAAAAA
This doesn't fucking matter, but Dean just said "... for the ladies. Or the fellas. I don't judge." (36:23)
Cas' speech to Dean... wow. "So if there's even a small chance that we can save you... I won't let you walk out of this room." (39:20)
I hate this scene. (40:11)
Dean is overwhelmed by Charlie's death, Sam and Cas' betrayal, the Mark changing him and all the other shit.
The Mark is taking over, and Dean can't (and won't) help it. Cas knows it. He doesn't want to hurt Dean. He is not even resisting. Doesn't put up a fight.
And just like Colette with Cain, Castiel only asks Dean one thing: "Stop." (40:38) [9x11]
Parallel to 8x07:
The only thing that stops Cas from killing Dean, is him begging, clutching onto his sleeve.
"Dean... please..." (41:08) Cas pleading Dean, clutching to his arm, makes him resist the urge to kill him.
Episode 23:
You can find gifs and the script of some deleted (destiel) scenes in this post by @charlie-minion
As the Mark eats Dean... he starts feeling guilt for the people he hurt... first on the list: Cas (14:54)
(This gif is not mine)
Well... what a season.
[Season 11>>]
#the destiel folder#icwaw#if castiel were a woman#supernatural#destiel#dean winchester#castiel#casdean#dean x castiel#deancas#jensen ackles#misha collins#spn#supernatural rewatch#spn rewatch#rewatch#meta#meta destiel#destiel meta#spn season 10#destiel season 10#deanmon#demon dean#destiel moments#time stamp#spn 15x18#otp#ship#spn fandom
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I posted 1,011 times in 2021
55 posts created (5%)
956 posts reblogged (95%)
For every post I created, I reblogged 17.4 posts.
I added 23 tags in 2021
#nftumblcryptids - 3 posts
#harry potter - 3 posts
#lotr - 3 posts
#writeblr - 2 posts
#lord of the rings - 2 posts
#moodboard - 2 posts
#johnlock - 2 posts
#ask game - 2 posts
#warrior answers - 2 posts
#writing - 2 posts
Longest Tag: 80 characters
#all i do is wash my face with your average lemon-scented facewash bcus i like it
My Top Posts in 2021
#5
Would you ever write… the "and there was only one bed" trope?
Figuratively? Yes(couple getting together due to circumstances out of their control and how they react to it,)
Literally? Less chance as a lot of them are either in an established relationship(so no problem if there's only one bed), or filthy rich.
4 notes • Posted 2021-07-17 02:45:47 GMT
#4
me, to @err-filecorrupted: Don't burn crackers, burn homophobes
8 notes • Posted 2021-11-03 06:50:12 GMT
#3
When was my last post again?? Anyway, I became an LoTR fan.
So I was away due to a lot of stuff happening, and you know how I do those profile thingies? Yeah, I’m doing one again. This time it’s for
*drumroll, please*
The Lord Of The Rings
So let’s roll
Favourite book in the series: Return of the king, duh
Favourite character: Umm Definitely merry and pippin, Because AAAAAA
Why: Merry and Pippin are the best balance of hard-working and fun-loving, I would love those two as friends!
OTP: Gigolas, I scream over it, I’m only in for the uhh giggly shit
I don’t think I need to say why.
NO. T P: I headcanon aragorn as aroace, just because. I think that is enough.
Bro. T. P: Okay, Aragorn and Legolas and Gimli, or Merry and Pippin, except they were actually bros. I also wanna see what Elrond and Gandalf get up to in their free time. They might have less of it, but they can surely stir things up.
Favourite place in middle earth? Maybe where Legolas lives, The shire gives me weekend vibes, not sure I could live there forever.
Who am I? That random musician in the background, Yes, the one in uhh the woodland realm. Exactly.
Favourite type of people in middle earth: idk man, I think the dwarves are pretty cool.
Favourite part of the fandom: Umm the modern aus, I love those sooo much.
9 notes • Posted 2021-02-01 06:20:50 GMT
#2
Moodboard Monday
I make moodboards, calendars, and posters. So basically, I saw this moodboard monday post by @homesteadchronicles
https://www.canva.com/design/DAESU4Vw3Gk/zQzhIhUOfPwaZWQ61O8PyA/view?utm_content=DAESU4Vw3Gk&utm_campaign=designshare&utm_medium=link&utm_source=publishsharelink
I couldn’t post the image here, but anyone can view this canva link!
10 notes • Posted 2021-01-05 04:39:03 GMT
#1
Desi LGBT fest
Bollywood movies if they were queer: A few glimpses
Sholay:
Jai and Veeru are in jail for, ya know. Jailer has major qualms about letting them go free so Thakur just. Kicks. Him and is like "I DO NOT CARE THAT THEY SUCK @#$% I WANT THEM TO GET RID OF GABBAR AND I BETTER HAVE THEM BY THURSDAY"
Jailer nods meekly and the rest goes according to the movie bc guess what? They're practically a couple in everthign!
Except Veeru and Basanti don't happen, they happen platonically, and she's the chill but badass female friend every gay needs(Goggle in SMZS, Cecily in the two princes podcast, June and nora and Bea in RWRB, you know the drill)
@desi-lgbt-fest
116 notes • Posted 2021-06-09 14:46:59 GMT
Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →
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College Blues - Chapter 2
Here it is. Grammar checked 4 times but probably still hiding some errors <3 This chapter turned out longer than the first, so I’m glad.
Themes: Tired Student Vibes - Uni is hard ok? - Angst - Family
Synopsis: With only 3 months left of their first year attending University, Danny and Sam decided to take a trip back down to Amity Park to visit family for a week to take the edge off. It soon becomes clear that visiting home was something Danny desperately needed.
Word Count: 1482
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06:00 << Guess who brought a load of snacks for the trip 🍫🍿 >>
06:15 << Remember the train leaves at eight >>
06:30 << U alive? And if u reply with no I swear… 😂 >>
07:30 << Danny? >>
Sam sat there, thinking of what to type next. She didn’t like to pester but considering Danny hadn’t even looked at his phone for this long, giving him another poke seemed more than reasonable. Sam knew how assertive she could be towards both Danny and Tucker at times. It was normal for both of them to leave things until the last minute. But after checking in with Tucker to see if he’d received any replies, Sam was half-tempted to head round to Danny’s dorm and spam the buzzer until he responded. No, that’s too far. They weren’t kids anymore. She should’ve tried to call him instead. Why didn’t she think to do that earlier? Ping. A new message.
07:35 << Sorry, yeah dw im on my way >>
Typical, she thought. It was a little rude that Danny didn’t even think to give a reply sooner than 25 minutes before their train was due to arrive. At the thought of this, Sam began jabbing at her phone, crafting he perfect response to convey her annoyance. What happened next caught her completely off guard. It was silent, but the action of Danny swiftly phasing through the wall behind her was enough to cause Sam to jump up from the bench.
“Shit Danny, do you even use doors anymore?”
“Sorry I was… I was in a bit of a rush. Didn’t have time to, you know, take the long way here.”
Furrowing her brows, Sam opened her mouth, ready to lecture Danny that if he had only gotten up earlier then he wouldn’t need to rush. But she paused, taking in her friend’s face. Danny looked… awful. His normally brightly lit blue eyes were dull with fatigue. It was almost as if he had just rolled out of bed. Considering the chances of a late-night ghost encounter, she chose to let it slide.
“You look...” She begun.
“-Like crap? Yeah I know.” He’d moved to slide off his backpack and sit down on the bench. “Was it a ghost? You could’ve woken me up you know. I don’t mind.” He shook his head, slumping forwards to rest his elbows on his knees. “No, just got distracted with other things.” Probably playing the new video game that he and Tucker had been raving about for the past week, Sam had figured. Now that Danny had eventually turned up, they had around 20 minutes to spare. After grabbing some coffees from the platform over, they returned to the bench and continued conversation. As they spoke, Sam continued to take in the state of her friend. His hair was slightly unkempt, and she was surprised to see that he had only brought a small singular backpack along. Though this made sense due to how much time he had given himself to pack. “I really am sorry by the way, I completely lost track of the clock.” He repeated for what must have been the third time. Finishing what was left of her drink, Sam gave a small laugh and looked back up. “Nah it’s fine. You wouldn’t be you if you didn’t lose track this often, right? I’m just glad you’re alive.”
“Debatable.” He smirked. She practically walked into that one. Ghost jokes were their only source of humour at this point, and the boys would take any chance they got to use them. After a few more minutes of back and forth banter the train finally arrived and the journey commenced. Amity park was a good two hours and thirty minutes away. This made food a must, and as promised, Sam had brought a selection of treats for them both to snack on. “Oh, I actually already ate.” Danny shrugged sheepishly looking down at the pile of treats that had been laid out between them. “But you said you didn’t have time to get anything this morning?” Did he say that? He played back their previous conversation from the platform. He must have done because Sam was right. He took a second to think of an appropriate response “Oh, I meant that I had something on the way over. Good thing I had time, right?”
Things were not adding up at this point. Sam wasn’t stupid and she could tell when she was being lied to. But what he was lying about was still unclear. Was it that he disliked what she had brought? No, that couldn’t be it. Sam had made sure to include things that he liked as well as the usual vegan variations for herself. Maybe he felt unwell? She looked over at Danny, who was gently resting against the train’s window, staring unfocused at the passing scenery. He didn’t look much better than he had around 10 minutes ago. Danny never really liked to let his guard down, especially since being outed as Phantom. While this made sense, it irked Sam when Danny refused to come forward about anything. “Hey, you alright? We could crack open the window if you want.” She motioned, giving him a light nudge. Jolted back into reality, Danny wearily lifted his head. “Huh? Yeah that’d be nice. Could do with some fresh air in here.” That was good, she hadn’t expected him to comply so easily. Getting up, Sam reached overhead and pushed the window latch open. “What do you think is up? Could it be your ice core?”
Danny shook his head. “I doubt it. I haven’t had issues with my ice core in years now. It’s probably just a lack of sleep. It’ll be fine.” There it was. It was this kind of dismissiveness that became so irritating to put up with. It made Sam want to retort back in defiance, but that wouldn’t be fair. It was best to assert herself without causing any more stress than there likely already was. But what else would work other than to push a little further? “Come on, at least drink some water.” She’d insist, offering him one of the many water-bottles she brought. After slight hesitation, Danny accepted the bottle and moved away from the window. He didn’t drink much from it, but it was something.
While most of the snacks remained untouched, the rest of the journey was well spent as the two continued to reminisce over the new ghosts they encountered over the course of the year, and how less manageable they were compared to the ghosts of Amity, which was saying a lot. They discussed what they would do once they got back. While meeting with Tucker at the Nasty Burger was on the agenda for tomorrow, today would be spent settling into their homes and catching up with family. When Danny had notified Jazz that he would be visiting for the week, she was more than happy to travel back down herself. While small, the Fenton family were close. To their parents, it wouldn’t feel the same if only one of them visited at a time. With this in mind, Jazz had insisted that her little brother mention if he were to come down so they could plan accordingly. Familiar buildings could now be seen through the window, indicating that they had reached Amity Park. The two gathered their bags and prepared to leave the train.
“Let me know when you touch base.” Sam said, giving him a quick hug as her parents pulled over to the side of the road. Danny gave an affirmative nod, returning the hug and stepping back. The two waved to each other as the vehicle turned a corner and out of sight. Now it was just him. Five minutes or so had gone by when the phone in his pocket began to buzz. Once again being brought back into the land of the living, Danny hastily grabbed the phone and slid it right to answer. “Hello?”
“Danny-o! Just calling to let you know we’re almost there! Did you arrive safely?” The screeching of car tyres through the other end of the phone were grating to listen to. “Uh, y-yeah, Dad. I’m waiting outside…” The blaring of a passing car horn caused Danny to move the phone away from his ear. “Remember to watch the road, Jack.” Maddie chimed in from the passenger seat. They were definitely close, as the same sound of the car horn was heard from a few blocks down. As if on cue, the all too familiar Fenton Family Ghost Assault Vehicle slide into view. It was a miracle that the tires were able to withstand the backlash as the vehicle came to a sudden halt. Rolling down the window, Jack beamed at his son.
“There he is. Our favourite ghost boy!”
#Phiccs#Danny Phantom#Sam Manson#Danny Fenton#Danny Phantom Fanfiction#Hhhhhcollegesucks#Fanfiction#Fenton Family
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Everything has changed.
10 years ago, you, who used to write your name as ‘Aina Trixia Carmela’, would always complain because you have such a long name, and it’s tiring to write the whole name for a 2nd grader. Eventually, they corrected it as ‘Ainatrixia Carmela” which you are still using up until now, Oh! My bad, you just write ‘Aina Lazaro’ now, don’t you? You, who recently just learned how to use the computer, how to type on keyboard, how to open the system unit and the monitor. Remember when you were so mesmerized whenever the screensaver appeared on your monitor? You could even change that, you know? Also, You, who always plays the mouse’s ball underneath and would blame your younger cousin if it gets stucked or worse, if it breaks. You, who just knew Katy Perry, Taylor Swift, Bruno Mars, Justin Bieber, and One Direction at that time. You, who would jam to Katy Perry’s ‘California Gurls’, ‘Fireworks’, ‘Teenage Dream’, ‘Last Friday Night’, and of course, ‘The One That Got Away’, you used to listen to those songs, as if you understand their meaning. Heck! You didn’t even know that time that most of the songs you used to bop are sensual songs talking about making out, having sex… You were 8 years old! Also, to Queen Taylor Swift’s ‘Love Story’ and ‘You Belong with Me’, you were listening to those songs non-stop until your grandmother scolds you for playing it over and over again for the nth time. (10 years later, you’re still playing it non-stop.) You, when given a 20 pesos bill, it was such a huge amount, and would flaunt it to your childhood playmates, who are also your neighbors. With that 20 pesos bill, you already bought your favorite ‘tsitsirya’ Vinegar Pusit and Sweet Corn, bonus, you also could buy sago juice that cost 5 pesos back then. Remember how you would search the web for GTA San Andreas cheats and hacks, you’d write it down on a piece of white pad paper (You don’t use Yellow Pad Papers yet, but soon.) for you to use it and would later on ask for your Grandma to give you several ‘Mamesus’ (one peso coins) because you’ll go to that “piso-net” computer shops not far from your house to play the said game, and then you’ll lose track of the time and your strict aunt would fetch you holding her right sandal that’s ready to smack the hell out of you if you still don’t stop. Also, whenever you hear the “PSSSSSSST!” of her, and you see her standing in front of your gate, remember how you almost lost your shit and peed your pants, as you ran as fast as you can just to avoid getting lectured and eventually getting spanked using clothes’ hanger or her sandals if you did not go home immediately. Those times that scratching your knee and even letting it bleed until you go home, the smell of sweat after playing outside from 4 pm to 7 pm, and your “madungis” look. Remember how your grandma used to threaten you to lock you outside if you didn’t stop playing outside, playing ‘bangsak’, ‘patintero’, ‘langit-lupa’, tumbang preso, and hide-n-seek. Those games are tiring as hell, but it seems that you neve run out of energy, you’re always game whenever your playmates start shouting, “TRISH!! LARO NA TAYO!” Outside your house’s sari-sari store. POV: You just came home from school, your schedule, 06:30 am - 02:00 pm, you haven’t even got your afternoon nap yet, still tired from school, but you’ll immediately run towards the gate. Playing outside somehow is your favorite past-time as a child. Whenever you play you forget all your responsibilities, by responsibilities, I mean your homeworks that is due tomorrow. Life then was really much easier, and fun.
But as One Direction said in one of their songs, “Just how fast the night changes…” You grow older, and even your playmates. Your usual workload then eventually gets more and more as you age. The things that you used to enjoy, suddenly became uninteresting to you. Your urge to go out and play decreased little by little; you now rather stay indoors than play outside below the scorching hot weather, you don’t like feeling hot, you don’t like how sticky your sweat trickled on your skin, you find playing outside a childish thing, because you were older, and they said big girls don’t play game on the streets anymore. Yes, you still play, but you hardly do it then. If you’re really just bored, and you would come out, you’d watch other kids play, laugh when someone makes a mistake and even get irritated whenever they play the game wrong, you would think, “HINDI NAMAN GANYAN LARUIN ‘YAN!!!!”, but would rather stay silent and just watch them foolishly play the game wrong. Back then, You were eager to be a grown-up person, to be an adult, because you see how adults are living that time, they can go out whenever they want despite the time, they have their own money, and the likes. You, who at a young age, I think you were around 9? Or 10 that time, you learned how to commute, how to ride jeepneys and other public transportation all by yourself. You learned which color of Jeepney in Angeles you should ride if you’re going to a certain place. Gray and Purple Jeep to Balibago, Green if you came from Marisol and you want to be dropped off at the Market, Blue if you want to go to Pandan, Yellow if you want to go to Telebastagan, etc. Also, At a young age you learned how to cook yourself a meal, Your Grandma and Aunt are great cooks, you often hang out in the Kitchen whenever they are cooking meals, So one day, you asked them if they could teach you, which they gladly did. They first taught you the basics, like fried foods and as time passed, it got complicated like adding onions and garlic to the pan, and even measuring condiments.
Days, and Weeks, and Months, even Years passed. You and your family need to move out of the house where you grew, where you spent your whole 13 years, where you learned to walk, to think, where you met people that you considered as your own family, where you met your friends who were with you ever since you stood up on your 2 feet. In a blink of an eye, you were gone, and here you are in a new environment, a new house, new neighbors and people you need to get along with. You didn’t even have a chance to say goodbye to the people who were with you ever since, and with that, you were forced to move on and focus on the things that were present at that time. Aside from that, you are now in highschool, in 7th grade to be exact. You first met your Biological father. After 13 years of no communication, he suddenly reached out. You didn’t know what to feel so you were awkward with him. You don’t even like talking to him, whenever you two would voice call, you’ll just answer with ‘yes’, ‘no’, ’opo’, Which I totally understand. You were still a kid back then. Again, you’re a high school student now, new environment and people again. You spent almost 7 years in your last school, and the school you went to in your 7th grade wasn’t really your first choice right? You don’t even want to study in that school because your dream school was Chevalier School and Angeles City Science High School. Remember how you almost dropped out after the first week of high school? Your mother just forced you to attend that school, but deep inside you really don’t like that said school. First week as a 7th grader has passed, and you didn’t really enjoy it at all, you felt... left out. Despite your classmates, other students and teachers being friendly, you just feel like you didn’t belong there, You didn’t have a friend, you were practically a loner for the first week. So after a week of staying in that school, you practically begged you Grandma to drop you out, you were in a private school, you told your grandma that you didn’t like it, that you’d rather go to a public school than stay in that school.Your Grandma gave you a condition. “Please bear it for one more week… After that, I’ll transfer you to other schools. Just please try and bear it for one more week, Trixia.” So you did. You forced yourself to get up, and go to school, you were even counting down, you were eager for the week to end because you couldn’t wait to transfer schools. But, an unexpected turn of events happened. During the course of that one week, you met these people, they were your classmates, 6 girls to be specific. They just started talking to you, and somehow… you felt comfortable talking to them, being around them. So they started asking you to join them during recess and lunch… and then boom… You went to your Grandma one day, after you came home from school, and these words came out of your mouth, “Ma, I don’t want to transfer schools anymore. I will stay in Holy Fam.”
No one expected it at all. Not even you. So now, those girls were the sole reason you are still here in HFA. They’re the reason you stayed, and also the one of the reasons why you grew to love HFA. until now, you are still friends with them, they’re your best buddies. Then, in terms of school, There were many hardships, culture shock, sudden change of the environment, change of subjects that are more complicated than the ones taught to you during elementary. You weren’t used to this type of setting. So you struggled a lot, in academics, you got low grades, and even had failed grades back then. The ‘7’ never left your report card, your mom’s disappointed in you. That was a hard time for you back then, but you learned your lesson, you were never an academic achiever, so you tried to improve, gladly it worked. Anyway, it ain’t big but still, I’m proud of you for making an effort, at least you wanted to become and strived to be a better person, you are learning from your past mistakes. For your interests, Gosh how much have you changed over the years! You went from being a die-hard ‘Directioner’, a Louis Tomlinson’s girl, from being a KPOP fan, you liked EXO, and then you changed your ultimate group to Super Junior, which until now, you’re still a fan and they're still your main idols. You, who doesn’t like spending money back then because you’re a one stingy person, now… spends money on albums, on merchandise, to concerts and even a small piece of cardboard with their idol’s selfie in it. You have over 30 albums and 80 photocards (and counting) on your collection. You used to fangirl over One Direction, Daniel Padilla, Big Time Rush, and other western artists, now you simp over one korean guy in his 30’s named Kim Ryeowook. Just… What happened? If only you knew you were going to be a kpop fan, You should’ve saved up money 10 years ago so that you’re not broke at the moment. Not a wise choice, but if you’re happy, then so be it.
You thought everything’s going well and fine when suddenly, the biggest anchor in your life, your life support, the one who was with you ever since you came out to this world suddenly… left without notice. Everything shattered, your walls, your heart, your mind, your body, yourself crumbled when she suddenly left you. What hurts the most is that there’s no way that you could reach her now or even go to her, or hear her voice. You were at the rock bottom at that time, you felt like it’s your fault that she’s gone, you blame yourself, and you started to think that you have no sense in this world now, you don’t feel like living anymore because what’s the point now? She’s already gone. But thankfully you overcame that, you started to accept it, you started to forgive yourself for what happened, and you are still in the process of accepting and forgiving yourself. Small progress is still a progress. It takes time. Though you lost this person, please remember that she’s guarding you, she’s still looking out for you. Also, all your efforts and hardwork through the years, I’m actually glad that you made it, that you didn’t give up, and that you’re still here. I’m very, very proud of you for fighting, for holding on, for staying strong despite huge waves of problems that come in your way. I know that sometimes it’s so hard, and you feel like you don’t have the strength to carry on, and you’re thinking of giving up and ending it all, but even all of that, you didn’t do anything. So please, thank yourself, thank you for not doing that, for not giving up, for being strong. I know things aren’t well at the moment, you have so much worries regarding your future, and things aren't going in your way, but all will be well, and they will all pass. Please be strong. At such a young age you somehow learned to be independent, and that’s something to be proud of, even the one above would be proud of you, very much proud of you. You also became mature in your own way, you learned things in your own way, you have responsibilities now, you tried things, you risked, you failed, you succeeded. You are now really becoming an adult, it’s just that… You were so excited to become an adult back then, you badly wanted to be a grown up at a young age, and I know that now, you’re wishing that you just want to turn back time, where you have no responsibilities, without thinking about life, and such. You just want to enjoy things again. Whenever you come across kids playing outside, you can’t help but to reminisce those times, those times that you were the one playing that on the streets, with scratched knees and dirty hands, Oh how you wish that time can turn back it’s arms and just become a kid again. Everything has changed, from the way you dress, the way you talk and converse, the way you think, understand, and rationalize things, the way you prioritize things and decide. So much has changed. You’re not even a real adult now, you’re just beginning, you are just entering the adulthood phase. I know that you would make it. Next month, you’re finally graduating High School, and soon you’re venturing the College life, and then you wouldn’t even notice that you’re already working. I suggest that never make the same mistake again, don’t be so eager, don’t rush things up! You’ll eventually make it. I am rooting for you, Aina! The only thing that I’m looking forward to and is eager to see… is you being successful and finally reaching your dreams in the near future. Best of Luck, Aina!
— Aina, 210321
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Rules: Answer 30 questions and tag 5 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better!
i’ve been meaning to do this for FOREVER when i saw this in my notifs!! i was tagged by @sdwolfpup! (i know a few others like Bee and Star have tagged me, but i CANNOT RECALL AND I AM TOO LAZY TO HUNT SO HERE WE ARE.)
Name/nickname: rach by most, slut by the lovely @shiningloki, princess and more by @frostbitten-written, my love and probably more by @lokistan, and bean by @walkingaline!
Gender: female
Star sign: gemini!
Height: 5′7″
Birthday: June 20
Time: it is currently 4:06 am! (4:32 am by the time i finish! bijou is running around like crazy and is trying to type and say hello so—hi from my cat!)
Favorite bands: Hozier is an ever constant in my music rotation. other than him, Mother Mother. i listen to too much music to really check.
Favorite solo artists: uhhhh i THINK i just listen to bands more often than solo artists. does Hozier count for here?
Song stuck in my head: ZANZIBAR BY BILLY JOEL.
Last movie: The Mask! I watched it with Hayley a few nights ago.
Last show: that i can recall? Bridgerton!
When did I create this blog: wayy back in September 2013!
What do I post: i post my writing, tom hiddleston gifs (listen. look. sue me.), tidbits of my life, little jokes and stuff! i’m a storyteller, i love rambling about things! so primarily that!
Last thing googled: “can cats drink vanilla almond milk?” because my dad asked me if bijou could have some of the milk he used for his cereal.
Other blogs: i have a sideblog more “formal” than this one: rancheely. i also have an rp blog that i really need to get back into!
Do I get asks: as of late since i’ve been a bit inactive, no. but normally i certainly do! i currently have a bunch of mutuals who have sent me really sweet chain messages. i keep them in there to smile during the day! (i also have so, so many drabble reqs i still need to hit. don’t call me out)
Why I chose my url: well, the first two urls fit my likes then. this url (ragnarachael) is because of Thor: Ragnarok! Ragnarok really kicked me into my whole Marvel stage that i’ve been in since mid to late 2017! thank you tom hiddleston in a whole black suit!
Following: 496!
Followers: 1,098! (holy shit??? i love you guys???? also i love how i’ve been gaining followers while i’m inactive it’s so amusing??)
Average hours of sleep: hah. sleep? what’s that? (in reality: it varies. sometimes nothing. other nights? 2 to 10 hours. depends entirely on me and my brain.)
Lucky number: i don’t have one!
Instruments: ukulele that i haven’t picked up in a year, used to play the drums and a little piano!
What am I wearing: black leggings, a thespian t-shirt, no socks! (should probs grab some though i cannot feel my toes)
Dream job: actress, or writer! maybe a journalist or something to do with english, if i ever decide to pursue an english degree!
Dream trip: oh god. paris. italy. ireland. london. i’m stopping here my list can and will grow.
Favorite food: at any restaurant if they have southwestern egg rolls, i legally have to order a serving of it. for me. for the table. whoever. so those. (also maybe those pot stickers from t.g.i friday’s i had the other week)
Nationality: american, usa??
Favorite song: this month it is crabwalk by party in the hills! Cana hates it, Hayley loves it. listen to it.
Last book read: the last book i touched to read was actually The Invisible Life Of Addie LaRue by V.E. Schwab! (we ignore how i started Midnight Sun and haven’t picked it up) however, haven’t done much reading unless it’s forms for work or my personal life!
Top three fictional universes I’d like to live in: 1.) MCU! (preferably Asgard, if i can’t do that, shove me into New York around maybe say Spider-Man: Homecoming? or actually perhaps Doctor Strange—)
2.) Bridgerton! (blame my love period pieces, thank u mom)
3.) MAMMA MIA. PLEASE
well. now i have to tag some people, but i honestly cannot think of any because i know mostly everything on this list about some of my mutuals i talk to. so if you’d like to do it, i tag you!
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