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TAYLOR SWIFT @ The "Taylor Swift | The Eras Tour" at MetLife Stadium on May 26, 2023 in East Rutherford, New Jersey (Night 1). 

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Everything has changed.

10 years ago, you, who used to write your name as ‘Aina Trixia Carmela’, would always complain because you have such a long name, and it’s tiring to write the whole name for a 2nd grader. Eventually, they corrected it as ‘Ainatrixia Carmela” which you are still using up until now, Oh! My bad, you just write ‘Aina Lazaro’ now, don’t you? You, who recently just learned how to use the computer, how to type on keyboard, how to open the system unit and the monitor. Remember when you were so mesmerized whenever the screensaver appeared on your monitor? You could even change that, you know? Also, You, who always plays the mouse’s ball underneath and would blame your younger cousin if it gets stucked or worse, if it breaks. You, who just knew Katy Perry, Taylor Swift, Bruno Mars, Justin Bieber, and One Direction at that time. You, who would jam to Katy Perry’s ‘California Gurls’, ‘Fireworks’, ‘Teenage Dream’, ‘Last Friday Night’, and of course, ‘The One That Got Away’, you used to listen to those songs, as if you understand their meaning. Heck! You didn’t even know that time that most of the songs you used to bop are sensual songs talking about making out, having sex… You were 8 years old! Also, to Queen Taylor Swift’s ‘Love Story’ and ‘You Belong with Me’, you were listening to those songs non-stop until your grandmother scolds you for playing it over and over again for the nth time. (10 years later, you’re still playing it non-stop.) You, when given a 20 pesos bill, it was such a huge amount, and would flaunt it to your childhood playmates, who are also your neighbors. With that 20 pesos bill, you already bought your favorite ‘tsitsirya’ Vinegar Pusit and Sweet Corn, bonus, you also could buy sago juice that cost 5 pesos back then. Remember how you would search the web for GTA San Andreas cheats and hacks, you’d write it down on a piece of white pad paper (You don’t use Yellow Pad Papers yet, but soon.) for you to use it and would later on ask for your Grandma to give you several ‘Mamesus’ (one peso coins) because you’ll go to that “piso-net” computer shops not far from your house to play the said game, and then you’ll lose track of the time and your strict aunt would fetch you holding her right sandal that’s ready to smack the hell out of you if you still don’t stop. Also, whenever you hear the “PSSSSSSST!” of her, and you see her standing in front of your gate, remember how you almost lost your shit and peed your pants, as you ran as fast as you can just to avoid getting lectured and eventually getting spanked using clothes’ hanger or her sandals if you did not go home immediately. Those times that scratching your knee and even letting it bleed until you go home, the smell of sweat after playing outside from 4 pm to 7 pm, and your “madungis” look. Remember how your grandma used to threaten you to lock you outside if you didn’t stop playing outside, playing ‘bangsak’, ‘patintero’, ‘langit-lupa’, tumbang preso, and hide-n-seek. Those games are tiring as hell, but it seems that you neve run out of energy, you’re always game whenever your playmates start shouting, “TRISH!! LARO NA TAYO!” Outside your house’s sari-sari store. POV: You just came home from school, your schedule, 06:30 am - 02:00 pm, you haven’t even got your afternoon nap yet, still tired from school, but you’ll immediately run towards the gate. Playing outside somehow is your favorite past-time as a child. Whenever you play you forget all your responsibilities, by responsibilities, I mean your homeworks that is due tomorrow. Life then was really much easier, and fun.

But as One Direction said in one of their songs, “Just how fast the night changes…” You grow older, and even your playmates. Your usual workload then eventually gets more and more as you age. The things that you used to enjoy, suddenly became uninteresting to you. Your urge to go out and play decreased little by little; you now rather stay indoors than play outside below the scorching hot weather, you don’t like feeling hot, you don’t like how sticky your sweat trickled on your skin, you find playing outside a childish thing, because you were older, and they said big girls don’t play game on the streets anymore. Yes, you still play, but you hardly do it then. If you’re really just bored, and you would come out, you’d watch other kids play, laugh when someone makes a mistake and even get irritated whenever they play the game wrong, you would think, “HINDI NAMAN GANYAN LARUIN ‘YAN!!!!”, but would rather stay silent and just watch them foolishly play the game wrong. Back then, You were eager to be a grown-up person, to be an adult, because you see how adults are living that time, they can go out whenever they want despite the time, they have their own money, and the likes. You, who at a young age, I think you were around 9? Or 10 that time, you learned how to commute, how to ride jeepneys and other public transportation all by yourself. You learned which color of Jeepney in Angeles you should ride if you’re going to a certain place. Gray and Purple Jeep to Balibago, Green if you came from Marisol and you want to be dropped off at the Market, Blue if you want to go to Pandan, Yellow if you want to go to Telebastagan, etc. Also, At a young age you learned how to cook yourself a meal, Your Grandma and Aunt are great cooks, you often hang out in the Kitchen whenever they are cooking meals, So one day, you asked them if they could teach you, which they gladly did. They first taught you the basics, like fried foods and as time passed, it got complicated like adding onions and garlic to the pan, and even measuring condiments.

Days, and Weeks, and Months, even Years passed. You and your family need to move out of the house where you grew, where you spent your whole 13 years, where you learned to walk, to think, where you met people that you considered as your own family, where you met your friends who were with you ever since you stood up on your 2 feet. In a blink of an eye, you were gone, and here you are in a new environment, a new house, new neighbors and people you need to get along with. You didn’t even have a chance to say goodbye to the people who were with you ever since, and with that, you were forced to move on and focus on the things that were present at that time. Aside from that, you are now in highschool, in 7th grade to be exact. You first met your Biological father. After 13 years of no communication, he suddenly reached out. You didn’t know what to feel so you were awkward with him. You don’t even like talking to him, whenever you two would voice call, you’ll just answer with ‘yes’, ‘no’, ’opo’, Which I totally understand. You were still a kid back then. Again, you’re a high school student now, new environment and people again. You spent almost 7 years in your last school, and the school you went to in your 7th grade wasn’t really your first choice right? You don’t even want to study in that school because your dream school was Chevalier School and Angeles City Science High School. Remember how you almost dropped out after the first week of high school? Your mother just forced you to attend that school, but deep inside you really don’t like that said school. First week as a 7th grader has passed, and you didn’t really enjoy it at all, you felt... left out. Despite your classmates, other students and teachers being friendly, you just feel like you didn’t belong there, You didn’t have a friend, you were practically a loner for the first week. So after a week of staying in that school, you practically begged you Grandma to drop you out, you were in a private school, you told your grandma that you didn’t like it, that you’d rather go to a public school than stay in that school.Your Grandma gave you a condition. “Please bear it for one more week… After that, I’ll transfer you to other schools. Just please try and bear it for one more week, Trixia.” So you did. You forced yourself to get up, and go to school, you were even counting down, you were eager for the week to end because you couldn’t wait to transfer schools. But, an unexpected turn of events happened. During the course of that one week, you met these people, they were your classmates, 6 girls to be specific. They just started talking to you, and somehow… you felt comfortable talking to them, being around them. So they started asking you to join them during recess and lunch… and then boom… You went to your Grandma one day, after you came home from school, and these words came out of your mouth, “Ma, I don’t want to transfer schools anymore. I will stay in Holy Fam.”

No one expected it at all. Not even you. So now, those girls were the sole reason you are still here in HFA. They’re the reason you stayed, and also the one of the reasons why you grew to love HFA. until now, you are still friends with them, they’re your best buddies. Then, in terms of school, There were many hardships, culture shock, sudden change of the environment, change of subjects that are more complicated than the ones taught to you during elementary. You weren’t used to this type of setting. So you struggled a lot, in academics, you got low grades, and even had failed grades back then. The ‘7’ never left your report card, your mom’s disappointed in you. That was a hard time for you back then, but you learned your lesson, you were never an academic achiever, so you tried to improve, gladly it worked. Anyway, it ain’t big but still, I’m proud of you for making an effort, at least you wanted to become and strived to be a better person, you are learning from your past mistakes. For your interests, Gosh how much have you changed over the years! You went from being a die-hard ‘Directioner’, a Louis Tomlinson’s girl, from being a KPOP fan, you liked EXO, and then you changed your ultimate group to Super Junior, which until now, you’re still a fan and they're still your main idols. You, who doesn’t like spending money back then because you’re a one stingy person, now… spends money on albums, on merchandise, to concerts and even a small piece of cardboard with their idol’s selfie in it. You have over 30 albums and 80 photocards (and counting) on your collection. You used to fangirl over One Direction, Daniel Padilla, Big Time Rush, and other western artists, now you simp over one korean guy in his 30’s named Kim Ryeowook. Just… What happened? If only you knew you were going to be a kpop fan, You should’ve saved up money 10 years ago so that you’re not broke at the moment. Not a wise choice, but if you’re happy, then so be it.

You thought everything’s going well and fine when suddenly, the biggest anchor in your life, your life support, the one who was with you ever since you came out to this world suddenly… left without notice. Everything shattered, your walls, your heart, your mind, your body, yourself crumbled when she suddenly left you. What hurts the most is that there’s no way that you could reach her now or even go to her, or hear her voice. You were at the rock bottom at that time, you felt like it’s your fault that she’s gone, you blame yourself, and you started to think that you have no sense in this world now, you don’t feel like living anymore because what’s the point now? She’s already gone. But thankfully you overcame that, you started to accept it, you started to forgive yourself for what happened, and you are still in the process of accepting and forgiving yourself. Small progress is still a progress. It takes time. Though you lost this person, please remember that she’s guarding you, she’s still looking out for you. Also, all your efforts and hardwork through the years, I’m actually glad that you made it, that you didn’t give up, and that you’re still here. I’m very, very proud of you for fighting, for holding on, for staying strong despite huge waves of problems that come in your way. I know that sometimes it’s so hard, and you feel like you don’t have the strength to carry on, and you’re thinking of giving up and ending it all, but even all of that, you didn’t do anything. So please, thank yourself, thank you for not doing that, for not giving up, for being strong. I know things aren’t well at the moment, you have so much worries regarding your future, and things aren't going in your way, but all will be well, and they will all pass. Please be strong. At such a young age you somehow learned to be independent, and that’s something to be proud of, even the one above would be proud of you, very much proud of you. You also became mature in your own way, you learned things in your own way, you have responsibilities now, you tried things, you risked, you failed, you succeeded. You are now really becoming an adult, it’s just that… You were so excited to become an adult back then, you badly wanted to be a grown up at a young age, and I know that now, you’re wishing that you just want to turn back time, where you have no responsibilities, without thinking about life, and such. You just want to enjoy things again. Whenever you come across kids playing outside, you can’t help but to reminisce those times, those times that you were the one playing that on the streets, with scratched knees and dirty hands, Oh how you wish that time can turn back it’s arms and just become a kid again. Everything has changed, from the way you dress, the way you talk and converse, the way you think, understand, and rationalize things, the way you prioritize things and decide. So much has changed. You’re not even a real adult now, you’re just beginning, you are just entering the adulthood phase. I know that you would make it. Next month, you’re finally graduating High School, and soon you’re venturing the College life, and then you wouldn’t even notice that you’re already working. I suggest that never make the same mistake again, don’t be so eager, don’t rush things up! You’ll eventually make it. I am rooting for you, Aina! The only thing that I’m looking forward to and is eager to see… is you being successful and finally reaching your dreams in the near future. Best of Luck, Aina!

— Aina, 210321

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Laggy! Laggy! WiFi, Laggy! This is an emergency!

Before pandemic, students’ struggles in schools are either being late, stuck in traffic, professor that isn’t really teaching, just throws random workloads, and the likes. But now, as almost all students(and also teachers) are facing the new normal- the Online Classes/School, the old struggles they’re used to, are now not applicable to this new setting. There are a few things that hinders one student from peacefully having his/her online class, one of the 2 main reasons is the Philippines’ one-of-a-kind Internet Connection, and the other one is the lack of resources of both students and the teachers for them to use during the class. So, is Online Classes really effective here in the Philippines? Or not?

First reason is the stability of the students’ Internet Connection. Almost every student has struggled in connecting their laptop or devices on the internet. Worst, is if you are already running late and suddenly your wifi decided to act up. This is just only one scenario that's been happening ever since online education happened. Many students are struggling because of the poor stability and connection of the internet here. According to Ookla Speedtest Global Inc. last November 2020, ranking in 110th place out in terms of mobile internet speed, is the Philippines. Out of 134 countries, the Philippines ranked 110th, that just described how bad is the internet connection here. With that, almost in their everyday lives, students tend to have connection problems while having their synchronous classes in Zoom or Google Meet, and will result in laggy video and audio of the teacher discussing. In that case, students don’t have any choice but just to disconnect, and hopefully will re-connect successfully, but in most cases, that’s not happening.

Poor Internet connection is not only a problem here, it is also inevitable here that not all students and teachers can afford the necessities to support their online class. There were plenty of Filipino Students, and even teachers that needed to cross rivers, hike a mountain just to fulfill the requirements in online education. Also, not all can afford, good, stable, internet connection, that’s why some, if not all, really don't have much of a choice but to just drop out of school. If we’re talking about the teachers’ situations, some are also forced to resign and find other jobs because schools are removing employees to lessen the expenses. That’s just the sad reality here, in a third world country that’s currently facing a pandemic and is dealing with online classes despite having minimal knowledge on how it works.

Laptops, gadgets, printers, internet providers, access to servers, those are just the new basic necessities of an online education, unlike the traditional ones like pens, pencils, notebooks, bags, which are less pricey than the list stated. Students who are enrolled in private institutions can consider themselves lucky enough to afford those necessities. But that doesn’t mean that even if a student is completely ready, and has the basic needs to do online classes, means it’s already effective.

It has been only 6 months since online classes started here in the Philippines. It’s still not proven whether it is effective or not. There are still certain measures that need to be done for it to be considered effective. Like testing and comparing the academic performance of students, did they improve in this set-up or did they decline in terms of their performance in academic works. But in this case, for an online class to be effective the ones who are affected, and are doing should have stable internet connection and necessities.

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🤍🤍

[SCAN] Ryeowook Remember 15 Photobook {6P}

Scan by ©MinaChia | Reupload by siwonstorm

DO NOT CUT OR REMOVE WATERMARKS! NOT FOR COMMERCIAL USE! PLEASE TAKE OUT WITH FULL AND PROPER CREDIT! THANK YOU ♥

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[SCAN] Kyuhyun Remember 15 Photobook {6P}

Scan by ©MinaChia | Reupload by siwonstorm

DO NOT CUT OR REMOVE WATERMARKS! NOT FOR COMMERCIAL USE! PLEASE TAKE OUT WITH FULL AND PROPER CREDIT! THANK YOU ♥

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"Remember me, though I have to say goodbye, Remember me, don't let it make you cry, for even if I'm far away, I'll hold you in my heart... until you're in my arms again... remember me..."

*ugly crying when that scene (refer to the gif above ^_^) plays*

★彡Coco (2017)

This movie... *chefs kiss* I'm already 18 years old, legally an adult but the movie Coco, never fails to make me bawl like a baby. Man, I don't know it's just... it hits me so close to home. Especially the song Remember Me. *sniffs* Coco's my comfort and go-to-movie whenever I'm sad or I miss my Lola/Mama .°(ಗдಗ。)°.

I grew up with my Lola, or in kapampangan, "𝘴𝘦𝘴𝘦 𝘢𝘱𝘶." I spent almost all my life with Mama. Coco's my favorite movie, because I feel like whenever I watch it, it gives me this unexplainable comfort. I really don't know how to explain but I think if you grew up with your grandparents, you'll understand.

Basically, the movie Coco reminds me of my departed Grandma, I know that she's already gone but of course not in my heart, she will never be gone in my heart, never. It's just that... this movie makes me want to sing her the song Remember Me, becaue I know to myself that I won't forget her, but I don't know... I believe in reincarnation, and if ever she's born again in this world, I hope she still remembers me, I know that's impossible but, I just hope that even if she's now not the Mama that I grew up with, she's a completely different person, I still hope that, maybe, if I ever encounter her again in this lifetime, she'll remember me. It's okay if she can't recognize me but I just wish that she'll remember the love she have given to me for 16 years.

Because believe me or not, If I ever have the choice to choose my grandmother in my next life, I would still choose her.

The lyrics above (+ gifs below) is my favorite line/part through out the song. I always remember her whenever I listen to it. It always puts me in the verge of crying, I am emotional piece of 💩, i know. I never knew a cartoon movie/kids movie could make me feel this kind of emotions. I kind of wonder if that's the case if you die, like the one that happened in the movie. What if it's like that? What if my dearly departed loved ones are in another world? And what if they will really banish if any of their loved ones completely forget about them. Actually, being forgotten by someone I love/care for is one of my fears, I fear that they will forget me, They will forget our memories together. I hope it really isn't like that. σ(^_^;)

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#HappyKyuwookDay everyone !!!

Next year’s anniversary will be a more joyful day since we will finally get to see them together for good ^^

Always keep the love ! <3

I know i will (o.~)

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reason why me unstan this group (tbc)

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Some Kyuwook I found on my phone Today 🦒🐧

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I can never with Ryeowook 😂