#shit hapoens
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Don't underestimate the power of an aroace autistic ignoring whole pieces of plot and story in books as a kid
#i once read a whole book series thinking the main characters mentor was a woman when she was in fact a man. 5 books in and i realized and#went. well shes a gay old lady now#i just make shit up as a kid i would 100% lie and gaslight myself into beliveing things that were not true#and now when i go back to series i read or watched as a kid im like wym theirs romance in this#and you know what. good#i read the maximum ride series and didnt like somethong so i chose not to belive it. happy family. happy bird family o7#everytime i watch ninjago i go hey wait. that didnt hapoen. im better than you#god wait i still do this#iread six of crows because the reveiws said 'veryr minor romance' and their were THREE whole romance subplots#and i said no actually. your wrong. and i keep forgetting o7
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I think we might have trauma tied to the literal feeling of falling asleep/waking up. Like we get nightmares that are just. The feeling of changing concousness but drawn out + adrenaline + terror
#this may be from sleep paralysis? because we also get that sometimes#also sometimes when falling asleep we get like a rush of adrenaline and if we're far enough along well get shot into sleep paralysis or#start half dreaming about being woken up from a coma or dying.#which like 99% of the time is what we want? but then these things hapoen and its like. huh. maybe i DO have a will to live#it feels less like me or another alter and more like the body literally things its dying.#this happens both sober and intoxicated but doesn't seems to happen more frequently when intoxicated which is interesting#if anything its usually easier to push through#but one time we were like super fucking stoned with my ex and i started flipping my shit because im chill like thag#and so he took me out to the car vecasue i was like “i cant be in the house snymore its not safe i cant be here”#and he leaves to go get something and im like terrified to fall asleep#it gets worse when im scared sometimes. like a certain type of fear its like horror feeling.#anyways so im trying ot to pass out and im convince if i do ill never come back and my ex enters the car and i start screaming. like bloody#murder. and then HE screams. so then were both screaming. and eventually one of us stops screaming. and i dont remember which one. and i was#like :( im sorry that was really embarrassing but also im still so scared im sorry#and he was like 'its chill.' and then he goes to get another thing later and hes like Dont. Scream. When i get back. Dont Scream.#and i was like . okay 👍🏼.#and then he got back and i screamed. but it was easier to stop that time#and then his mom drove us around the neighborhood and i convinced my self that the whole world was just a figment of her imagination#and that really helped for somereason#so.#this kinda got away from me but basically i had one of those drawn out consciousness change night mares last night#dream log
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hiiiiii, been a while, not much to say but hope you're doing alright! I quit my least favourite job last week lets go!!
-🌿🚫anon
Hey! Great to hear from you!
And hell yeah, congrats on your job quitting WOOOOOOOOO
I've mostly just been doing school stuff, and I'm almost done with the next chapter >:D (even if it's a bit late lol) and then after that it's back to tormenting my favorite Stan time! Not to mention I have a couple drawings in the works
But thanks for reaching out, I love to hear from you! Genuinely makes my day brighter to know people are thinking of me
#bee talks#🌿🚫anon#just kinda laying in bed rn doing nothing and trying to get my butt up so i can finish the last couple edit throughs#idk why i cant get my brain to do it#itll hapoen eventually though#ACTUALLY gonna use this as a catalyst!#up we go!#holy shit it actually worked im up and it at now lmao#thanks nonny!
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[ID: A screenshot of text that's been cut off at the start and the end, that says 'saw some movement (I'm still crossing my fingers about thise vinyls) and at some point I' End ID]
Hey so can we talk about this. Can we talk about the possibility of homestuck VINYLS HOLY SHIT
#i know the copyright would he a nightmare#i know odds are this is never going to hapoen#but i can drean okay#hoky shit i would do unspeakable things to get my hands on a homestuck vinyl#me.txt#homestuck
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cori is such a good addition to the group i think having one Baby in the group really works for it. also i think shes cutely
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Idk how to say this but it’s hypocritical to say it’s all fiction, no thought policing, etc etc when it’s about stuff you’re horny for but not for the things you’re not horny for.. In both writing and art..
*shrugs* idk some of y’all kinda give rules for thee not for me w it. Idk. Just reflecting on things
#didn’t I see some of you tearing into a few people recently bc of their values or work not aligning w yours?#and now you’re defending yourselves with what should’ve applied to them as well….#idk I just think morals only stand if you uphold them all the time not just with things/people you like#I’m not saying anything about anyone specific btw ik it’s worded that way kinda but it’s more bc I am frustrated by what I’m seeing#in some of my ship tags#but if the shoe fits!!!#wear it I guess#you can’t say fiction is fiction then get mad at other fictional things that cross line for you#that just means they cross your lines of enjoyment not that it suddenly became equal to reality/morality#it’s fine if you’re not okay w certain content#it’s okay to not want to indulge in whatever it is that gives you the ick#but you can’t say it’s fiction it’s fiction on ONLY the things you approve of#that’s hypocritical and doesn’t help anyone#just really bothers me#I’ve been thinking a lot about morality and shit lately w the whole hthree and Jake Doolittle thing hapoening#and applying it to every aspect of life#high thoughts
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I will never let go of the fact that Kian has been chased out of the Rand house with a shotgun before.
#sailor's soul speaks#like bestie i need the context wdym it hapoened before#was it donna? was it rand? im obsessed#tbh i have many headcanons about the rand fam but really im always hesitant to share them#its just as someone whos grown up seemingly perfect suburbia i can see so many hints of awful shit thats implied
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um have you ever felt so indescribably lonely and sad it makes you feel physically ill anyway lol not me could not be me either
#holy fucking shit I cannot be hit with another bad thing hapoening to me or I’m gonna lose it man#ignore me I am vent posting#will probably delete later#Nyla speaks
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theyre like ddd is bad bc it doesnt tell you immediately that sora and riku are taking the mark of mastery exam like mf have you not heard of in medias res
#'its bad design bc the flashbacks are only optional' WHY ARE U SKIPPING FLASHBACKS#people hate the dreameater system too???#like ill admit i hardly used my dreameaters bc i didnt want them to die 😭#and im more of a spam x kinda person but i did level them up and ahit#like youre telling me thats bad??#you dont even have to use the dreameater system to beat the game anyways??#people also say they hate the drop system and its like!!!! why!!!!!#its integrating game mechanics into the narrative is that not cool as shit to you???#like yeah its annoying yeah its confusing cuz ur like why is this hapoening#but its!! so cool!!! and makes sense!!#like what the game has obstacles that hinder your ability to progress? wow thats so wild.....never heard of game having obstacles before....#literally cannot stand people that conplain about ddd#like there are some stuff ill conplain about it#i dont like the flowmotion tbh and i still think the command deck is annoying#but dont complain about shit like this game has Game Elementa in it and i dont like it like fucking what#michi tag
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you know what we get nowhere with me constantly trying to figure out whether it’s normal to be unable to hold an opinion towards someone for longer than 30 minutes (or a neutral opinion for longer than a few days) and then people trying to give answers that end at the suggestion.
so this time i’m gonna ask. if this happens to you. how do you cope? today was a really nice day, at least the evening was really good, but i’m just barely keeping myself from the brink of blinding rage and i don’t quite know how to handle it. is there no way to do that?
#at least i appreciate the good times really deeply. that’s a positive#i don’t know why i check discord anymore this shit always hapoens
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i need to rewatch minecraft diaries
#i knowww itis not as good as i remember. and tbh even in my memories it wasnt great there ws a Lot of weird shit. stares at kawaiichan#but..i do want to rewatch it... itis true#my sibling was no.1 zane fan i used to mock them for it JDNRJTNF#sry. zane did nothing 4 me bizarrely.. like he ws edgy but it ws too tryhard. didnt hit#LAURANCE was edgy in a fun way#malachi was my fav charcater btw. i ws like HES A GHIST 🤯🤯and i loved levin as well#WHEN THE TIMESKIP HAPOENED... well there were 2 werent they. but i mean the 20 year one right... MY MIND WS BLOWNN I WS SCREAMING
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So how we feeling adter the Vengance Saga, fellas.....?
🔱🩸 HOW DOES IT FEEL TO KNOW PAIN ? / YOU MONSTER !
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#personal#venus rants#venus whines#idk why I suddenly feel so sad and empty#i wonder if it's because im exhausted#i mean it's the last week of the school year#so it makes sense that I'm so mentally and physically drained#but ugh#i hate feeling sad jsut because...#to make matters worse but unrelated to how I feel..#it's been 4 days since I was able to ise my instagram account#the staff better answer my email#im so annoyed about the whole thing#also... i hate how some people treat you like shit when they have a bad day#like dude i get it i have them too#and i know you more susceptible to snap at someone#it's hapoened to me#but insult them and banning them from a server just because youre having a bad day is too much#go get fucked or something maybe thatll help you lower your levels of hysteria dude#like fuck off
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Not me crying over a fanfic
(Again, I do this too often)
#its not even sad is the bad part#like its an angsty moment but im crying because of my own shit in juxtaposition to the fic#all i want in life is someone who chooses me#someone who i matter to as much as they matter to me#someone to care about me#and thats whats hapoening in the fic#the 'im selfish because i will always choose you' conversation#when is it my turn#nearing thirty years old with no one person in my life that would choose me first#its fuckin me up
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Oh yeah forgot to mention that my mom signed me up for a fucking program for adult life because I didn’t wash the dishes for two days in a row and I was late getting up because I’m having a bad few days with my depression <3
#‘so you know these things before you turn 18’ FUCK OFF#IM STILL FUCKING MAD AT HER YK WHAT HAPOENED AFTER ALL THAT SHIT HAOOENED?#I WASHED THE DISHES AND THEN WENT UPSYAIRS AND DID NOTIING#WHEN I WENT DOWNSTAIRS TO GET WATER SHE WAS IN BER TOOM AND FUESS WHAY!!!!! HER FUCKING BOYFRIEND WAS HERE#THEY WERE WATCHING A FUCKING MOVIE#ARE YOU FUCKING JOKING#I HAD A FUCKING PANIC ATTACK I WASNT THINKING IN WORDS AND TOU CALLED YOUR BOYFRIEND OVER TO WATCH A GODDAMN MOVIE??????????
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Yaaaay the basement drain is backing up again
#phoebe be quiet#usually it doesnt happen this early it hapoens most when its cold cold#not that thats any better it shouldnt be backing up at fucking all#it's so cool how disgusting rancid smelling water from the sewer pipes back up into our basement whenever we shower or use the basement sink#soooooo fucking awesome#can we just tear up the fucking basement and get this shit over with fucking replace it
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