#shishi does the thing

[tianshiko]

well deserved rest~

[hurlingdown]

Ima eat you and your writing it’s so good can I please get a whiny sub Luffy x domtop male reader who’s like kinda tall I’m talking a tad bit shorter then brook type tall you can ignore if this is too specific 👍 love your work

EAT YOU UP — TOP MALE READER X MONKEY D. LUFFY

synopsis. luffy loved to sleep in your lap. it was warm, comfortable, and a big enough seat for him to nestle into. it didn't particularly bother you, and even if it did, you wouldn't be able to say no to your adorable captain anyway. just like you hadn't been able to say no to him when his ulterior motives re-surfaced. wc. 1.6k

tags. whiny! sub! luffy, dom! reader. size difference, reader's got a big cock, anal sex, virginity loss, cum eating, tongue-fucking, blowjob, he has no gag reflex, luffy being luffy, bit fluffy ngl

Luffy revelled in your size difference. 

The way you towered over him, your large hands being able to completely encircle his waist. Not to mention, you made such a good makeshift bed that he just couldn’t help but snuggle into your lap most afternoons, just to take a fat nap. 

You never really minded, as it didn’t interfere with your routine. Plus, having a lap warmer with you anywhere you went was undeniably a huge bonus. 

Today was one of those afternoons. 

Luffy hummed a song, squirming on your lap to find a comfortable position for his nap. You didn’t think much of it at first, until he started shifting about, his back pressed against your chest to directly sit on your cock. 

You froze, feeling the heat rush to your face, and somewhere else—it didn’t help that the rubber captain never kept still. Still, you couldn’t find it in you to push him off, as he had looked up at you with an adorably blinding grin, his gummy smile having wormed its way into your heart long ago. 

“Luffy,” you began awkwardly. 

“You’re hard today.” 

You spluttered. “I’m what today?” 

He turned around in your lap to blink innocently at you. “You’re harder than usual today, y/n!” 

“Oh. Haha… I am, aren’t I?” You let out a breath of relief. It hadn’t occurred to you that Luffy quite possibly didn’t know about that sort of stuff; or perhaps wasn’t interested in all, seeing as he never bat an eye to the beautiful, well-endowed Boa Hancock who practically threw herself at him at every chance. 

You were absorbed in your thoughts until you felt a hand palm your hard cock roughly. 

“Luffy!” Your hips bucked upwards, nearly throwing him off your lap. “What was that for—” 

“So yours does the same thing, too. Shishi, I thought my dick was broken when I touched it and it turned hard!” 

Oh. So he had touched himself before. Guess you could save yourself from having to give ‘the talk’ to an absolute airhead. 

“Wow,” Luffy continued to squeeze and fondle your cock through the thin layer of your pants, making you bite your lip to suppress a groan. “You’re pretty big!” 

“Captain,” you snapped, finally, glaring at him as he pouted. “This isn’t appropriate.” 

“But why not?” he protested, still not releasing his death-grip on your cock. 

“This—we—aren’t in that sort of relationship.” 

Luffy simply frowned. “Do we have to be in a relationship to touch each other’s dicks?” 

“Well, no, but—” 

“Good!” 

Before he went back to straight-up kneading your poor cock, you grabbed his wrists and bound them behind his back with one hand. 

“But why?” he whined loudly, bottom lip jutting out as he stared up at you. “I want to! You gotta let me! I’m the captain!” 

You sighed. “You may be my captain, but that doesn’t mean you get to take advantage of your superiority to sexually harass me whenever you want.” 

“I’m not sensually harassing you, or whatever that is!” 

“It’s ‘sexually harass’, not sensually harass. And—why do you even want to do this in the first place? You’ve never acted like this before when you napped on me before.” 

“I just suddenly want to! What’s the matter with that?!” Luffy looked petulant, almost angry as he couldn’t get what he wanted, and he retracted one of his legs hooked around your waist to tramp on your cock. 

You let out a guttural moan at that, and Luffy’s eyes had widened visibly, as though he wanted to hear more. 

“Hey, y/n? My dick’s hard.” 

“Is this what you wanted, baby?” 

Luffy’s knees were pressed into the mattress above his shoulders, making good use of his stretchiness as he shudders and whines a response beneath you. His hole is stretched perfectly around your cock, warm and wet and tight, taking you to the brim so well. 

“Y-yeah, puh—please!” he wailed desperately, raking his nails on your back as you angled your hips, thrusting up into his sweet spot. “So—so big—ah!” 

“There it is.” You grinned, hands fully wrapping around his waist to tug him back onto your cock like a ragdoll, perfectly nailing his prostate again. “Think we found it, mm?” 

Luffy nodded his head weakly, trembling all over as you railed him into the mattress with each heavy thrust, before dragging him back. “Feels really g-good! Right—right there!” 

“Here, captain?” You purposefully missed, tip of your cock barely grazing it, and he whined shamelessly. 

“No! Not there!” he moaned, shaking his head in frustration as he looked at you with pleading eyes. “Y/n, I need it s-so bad!” 

You would have never thought that Luffy was capable of such dirty talking. But right now—with your captain willingly spreading his legs for you, hole stretched wide open and insides rearranging themselves to fit your huge cock, you couldn’t even process it except for how good it felt. 

“And what’s the magic word, love?” 

“M-magic word?” He blinks at you confusedly. “I don’t know any—any magic word! I’m not—a magician, ah, silly!” 

Warmth curled in your chest at how utterly ridiculous Luffy was, and you gave a little laugh, before leaning down to kiss him. Luffy kissed you back with eagerness, biting and sucking impatiently at your lower lip. As you fucked your tongue into that pliant little mouth of his, mirroring your cock’s every thrust, he had sucked on it and moaned around it, drool spilling down the sides of his mouth as though it felt heavenly for him. 

“So full…” Luffy whimpered around your tongue, eyes rolling back in ecstasy—and you couldn’t pinpoint which hole he was referring to. 

You reeled back after a long kiss, going back to pounding into him as he whined for “harder”, for “more”, and “wanting to eat the funny liquid that comes out of your cock”. 

Your breath hitched in surprise as you realised what Luffy meant. “Want me to cum down your throat, baby? That what you want?” You could feel yourself getting closer and closer, his warm, spongy walls pulsating around you every time you pulled back, as though wanting to keep you inside forever. 

“Yes, yes—wanna, wanna know what you taste like, y/n!” he babbled mindlessly, clinging on to your shoulders as you flattened the head of your cock against his prostate, grinding hard and deliberately. “Ugh, ugh—it feels weird—” 

“Yeah? You gonna come for me, sweetheart? Fucking do it—cum on my cock, captain.” 

With the mention of his title, Luffy’s eyes squeezed shut before his head lolled back with a loud, drawn-out moan, body jerking violently and cock spurting all over his chest and abdomen. His hole clenched around you as tight as sin, and you had to hold back with all your willpower to not come on the spot. 

Luffy panted, still twitching beneath you as he raised one shaky finger, bringing it up to his face to point into his open mouth. Asking silently. 

You couldn’t believe what you were seeing, but once you got the green light, you rammed back into his twitching hole, no longer prioritising his pleasure over yours, only able to process how divine it felt to be making love to your captain. As you felt yourself getting closer and closer to your orgasm, you pulled out of his hole all of a sudden and plunged your cock into his ready, parted mouth, cumming so hard down his throat you felt yourself ascend. 

Luffy’s lips wrapped around the base of your cock, sucking hard and milking you throughout your orgasm. You groaned, low and deep, thrusting messily into tight wet heat as cum steadily dribbled down a vacuum, as though insatiable. 

You released your hold on his hair as you felt yourself go soft, staring incredulously down at a red-faced Luffy who was sucking at you as if he was trying to swallow your entire cock. 

“Luff,” you huffed, gently wiping away a line of his own cum that had somehow splattered on his collarbones. “That’s enough.” 

It was then that he finally pulled back, frantically sucking air through his mouth. “I—I couldn’t taste it,” he whined, the corners of his lips turning down unhappily. “Your cum, or whatever. I couldn’t taste it and it went down my throat!” 

Oh. Oh. 

You suppressed a laugh—because that was what he was being prissy about. Caressing his face affectionately, you went to lay down beside him. “I’m sorry. Next time I’ll just put the tip inside.” 

“It’s fine. I felt full enough.” 

Luffy had to stop dropping these one-liners that made you gape. 

“What? Why’re you lookin’ at me like that?” He looked at you, frowning with confusion. “Y’know, this almost made me as full as the banquet-thingy Sanji put together last week. There was so much yummy food! Your dick was really good, too, though—so don’t get jealous.” 

You really had to get used to the way Luffy talked—because he talked way too much and it drove you absolutely crazy. In an almost ‘too good’ way. This had to stop. 

“Luffy.” You pulled him into your arms, pressing a kiss to his cheek as he giggled happily. “Stop talking.”  masterlist! # luffy is such a fun character to write lol

[pomefioredove]

Hey Dove~

I was reading through the different headcannons and the mute reader really caught my attention. Could you possibly do the Vice Wardens (including Ruggie cuz he's basically second in command anyway) with Yuu that has a speech impediment? Basically they stutter/stumble on words, get them mixed up, pronounces them wrong, and maybe forgets certain words. And obviously with new arcana and magical words (and the weird ahh names some of these characters have) they can get pretty frusterated or embarressed.

You always have such good headcannons!! Feel free to throw in any other characters that you like to the mix as well!!

OH this hits close to home too. I stutter and mispronounce things when I do speak, so I'm using that for reference

twst x mute reader

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ reader with a speech impediment

summary: as described type of post: headcanons characters: trey, ruggie, jade, jamil, rook, lilia additional info: romantic or platonic, reader is gender neutral, reader is not specified to be yuu

see, I don't think Trey would say anything about it

he's not one to criticize strangeness

that would be rude, first of all

second of all, there's no such thing as "normal" at NRC

(even so, some people may point it out, but he's not one of them)

he doesn't have any trouble understanding you, either

he grew up with younger siblings who pronounced owl as "awa" and kitty as "shishi" until they were six

he's certainly patient

and he knows how to use context

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

honestly? Ruggie didn't even... notice?

for a while, he just thought you talked fast

he knows how it goes; you get excited or nervous or whatever, and you end up stumbling all over yourself

no biggie

then one day you come up to him all sad and teary, apologizing for a speech impediment he didn't even know you had, and he's like...

...oh! no!

of course he's not annoyed!

Ruggie's an adaptive guy, after all. when he wants something, he'll bend backwards for it

you think a little stuttering is gonna stop him from being friends with you?

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

much like Trey, Jade doesn't say anything

he just watches you talk

and smiles

like this -> :)

it's not that he's particularly concerned about being rude, he's just...

observing

humans are such fascinating creatures, he thinks

he learns all of your quirks just by listening to you

which words you have trouble with, which ones you mix up and forget, which consonants you stumble over...

he teaches himself your language

and he becomes a sort of translator for you

any time someone is rude to you, he'll come out of nowhere and tell them everything you said in the exact order you said it

weird, but nice

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

to put it plainly, Jamil has bigger problems

whether or not he can understand you doesn't really matter to him

it's not his job to worry over you

then, you come to him asking for help, and...

...well, he's flattered

he can't deny he likes that you come to him for guidance before anyone else

because of this, (and because he had to learn how to control his own tongue when he was little), he takes pity on you

whether your goal is to work on your speech, or to simply feel less anxiety about it, he's there

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

is it cliche to say that Rook already knows exactly what you're thinking?

perhaps, but it's true

he's mastered the art of observation

he can read your thoughts in your expression, your body language, even the slightest twitch in your lips gives you away

he just knows

you don't have to be a good speaker, or a speaker at all, to communicate with Rook

(and he can do all the talking for you if you'd like, he'd probably enjoy that)

and, of course, he is of the opinion that there is beauty in everything

you don't need to be perfectly clear and concise for him to like you

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

now, I can't guarantee that Lilia won't tease a little

only in good fun, of course

and only if you respond in kind

but he does find it rather cute when you mispronounce something, or mix up your words

he won't correct you or interrupt you, either

he'll step in to help if you're really struggling, of course, but he thinks of you as capable

he does remind you to take breathers when you're getting too anxious about it, though

he cares <3

[honeyhoneypp]

Think Only About Me

Things One Piece men would say during sex

You felt so good, they loved your face filled with pleasure and loved your naked curves, everything was so perfect. They couldn't stop themselves from letting you know how good they felt.

NSFW!!!

Female pronouns! degradation + praise kink

==================================

L U F F Y

He’s always loud, he doesn’t care if someone hears him or not, he is not even thinking about that right now, all he’s thinking about is how good you're making him feel.

He would be honest with his words, he always asks you how you're doing because he wants you to feel good, but sometimes he could be rude with his words, you just have to tell him so he could do better next time.

==================================

“Shit… It feels so good, keep going, don't stop.”

“Want me to make it bigger, pretty girl?”

“A-Agh, ____… Are you sure you want me to make it bigger?”

“You’re… Ah- So damn wet”

“Please… Do that again… It’s called squirt, right? Please squirt again for me”

“Your ass looks so delicious from here”

“Yeah… Just like that, this feels okay with ya’?”

“Don’t cry, you said you could take it. Don't be a crybaby now”

“What is this bump on your tummy?”

“Oh, this is my cock? Shishi that’s so funny”

“Keep saying my name like that… I don't know why it feels so good when you say my name”

“____… I-I’m so close to cumming, wanna cum inside of you”

“It feels so tight”

“Oh, fuck. Huh? They're going to hear us? So what?”

“Y-You’re making me feel so good... I feel like I'll cum already”

“You look so beautiful... Makes me wanna cum…”

“I-I don’t know why you’re making me feel this way”

“Aw. Cmon pretty girl, don't put your hands on your mouth, wanna hear you, it makes me feel good and it's funny when you sound like that”

Nicknames he would call you

Pretty girl (I don’t see Luffy calling you something else other than your name or pretty girl)

Z O R O

He isn't that loud, he only whispers since he doesn't want any of his crewmates to know that he’s making love to you, that would be embarrassing for him, I mean he should be focused on other things, not on this!

Of course, he loves the noises you make, but sometimes you're too loud. He is kind of more on the sadistic side meaning he can be rude a lot of times with his words…

==================================

“Fuck… this tight ass pussy is killing me”

“Shhh, they'll hear you”

“Shut the hell up!”

“I told you to be quiet… you don’t want me to be mean with you, right?”

“How can you be so wet already?”

“You look so nasty, I like it”

“I’ll make you feel so good”

“You don't tell me what to fucking do”

“Are you that starved for my cock?”

“You need to shut your damn mouth or they’ll hear us!”

“You like it when I talk to you this way? You’re such a damn freak”

“Fuck… fuck… fuck… my beautiful woman…”

“Look at you, doll. You look so beautiful and cock hungry”

“Cmon, you can take my whole cock, right?”

“Yes… you can, take everything like a good girl”

“Mhmm… you’re such a slut… such a slut for my cock”

“You want me to pull your hair? You damn pervert”

Nicknames he would call you

Slut

Good girl

Woman

Babydoll

Pervert

Doll

S A N J I

He is another one that doesn’t care if his crewmates hear him. In fact, he wants his crewmates to hear how good you’re making him feel or how good he’s making you feel because he’s a freak and a whore.

He loves it when you treat him like a dog, he loves to beg you so you can make him feel good, but he can also be on the dominant side if you ask him to. He's so sweet with his words, he’s always telling you how beautiful you look

==================================

“____, p-please don't stop… I'm so close”

“My love, your boobs look so beautiful”

“Y-Yes, ____, I’ll do anything”

“Just please let me cum”

“You want me to go faster?”

“Fuck, sweetheart, you feel so tight it's killing me”

“How does that feel? D-Does this feel okay with you? You like that, sweetheart?”

“A-Ah, shit… You are taking me so well, my love, good job, sweetheart”

“Please keep saying my name… I-I feel like I'm about to cum”

“Don’t hold yourself back, sweetie… Please cum on my cock… please give it to me”

“You look so beautiful when you’re bouncing on my cock”

“Y-You want to take my whole cock? Are you sure?”

“Fuck- good job, my love. You’re making me feel so good”

“____, please do whatever you want to me… yes! Just like that!”

“Want me to go faster, pretty girl?”

“L-Let me eat your pussy, please, I beg you”

“My love, don’t hold yourself back… I want to hear your beautiful moans”

“Doesn’t matter if they can hear us.”

Nicknames he would call you

Pretty girl

Sweetie

Sweetheart

My love

Princess

Angel

==================================

Please let me know if I made spelling mistakes, some things don’t make sense or got their personality wrong!

[puppetmaster13u]

Hear Me Out

Yokai Amity. What are yokai? Japanese spirits. And not just ghosts, a majority of mythical creatures? Yokai.

So how did this happen? Well, like most things, it can be blamed on the ghost portal in the Fenton Basement. And a lot of ecto contamination. Because while they're a small city? They're also in the middle of nowhere, meaning a lot of their foods and crops, they grow themselves. And the ectoplasm? Started sinking into the ground first. Y'know, where every plant grows and then both humans and animals proceed to eat it? Made even worse when those like Overgrowth or Vortex came through? Yeaah, it'd be a miracle if they didn't get contaminated and no surprise that most don't notice their humanity slipping with time with how it's happening to everyone.

Which kind of makes the situation Danny has found himself kind of hilarious? At least to him. The trenchcoat dude seems to be having an aneurism or something similar.

"So... not a meta?" the tiny vigilante child clarified again, head tilting from where he stood at the head of his group. Honestly Danny was enjoying this from his place sprawled across the park bench Honestly Amity had spoiled him with benches designed for extra limbs.

The blonde man seemed absolutely done with everything, hands twitching as though about to cradle his head in his hands or grab something. "No," he wasn't shouting but it was close. "For fuck's sake- your all lucky not to be cursed or worse-" He turned towards Danny. "Why the fuck didn't you?"

The hainu shrugged, wings doing more of the motion than the rest of him. "They're babies-" Or at least one of them was, borderline liminal as they were. "You play along with toddlers." Honestly he saw why his old rogues found this fun, even if he'd never go as far as they did.

The entire team of vigilante children bristled, one opening their mouth to protest before trenchcoat-soul-dude glared at them all before turning back towards him.

"Though what the fuck do you need that for that you'd steal it- not that any artifact like that should be in a bloody museum and not locked away where idiots can't get to it."

He snorted, the sound more dog-like. Or really more yeti-like, what with how he was taking lessons from Frostbite which meant large chunks of time in the Far Frozen.

"Technically I don't need it, my kid does," Danny held up a finger, marveling slightly at the clouds. It was quite different compared to Amity, what with how everywhere was so ecto-infused that the sky was effected.

"And what does a hainu need with-" the trenchcoat man motioned to the cursed object, which honestly wasn't that bad. But...

"Oh no, he's not a hainu, he's furaribi." Danny honestly wasn't surprised that Jordan wouldn't turn out the same as he, de-aged or not. Not that he was memory-less or anything, cores didn't lose that easily, but he did still have the physical brain of a child.

"Adopted?"

"Nope," he hummed, going over the list of things he still had to do today before returning to Amity. Sam had asked him to get a few more flowers to test how ecto would effect them and he had to pick up some computer parts for Tuck.

"How the fuck."

"My sister's a kitsune, my other sister is a shirouneri, my mom is a shishi, my dad a baku, godfather's an itachi, my boyfriend a raiju, my girlfriend a kirin, and my other girlfriend a yosuzume," he ticked off his fingers, not seeing anything wrong with it. Not like people could get into Amity easily after the whole GIW thing.

"... what the fuck does your family tree look like, mate, because that should be bloody impossible."

Danny shrugged, giving a sharp toothed smile. Yeah, the realms didn't care about that with how malleable ecto was.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(In case it's not clear: Hainu Danny, Furaribi Dan, Kitsune Jazz, Shirouneri Danny, Lion Dog Maddie, Baku Jack, Itachi Vlad, Raiju Tucker, Kirin Sam & Yosuzume Valerie) (Also feel free to come up with what everyone else might be) (Highly recommend yokai.com for a quick summary of each creature)

[umeumeumee]

𝐁𝐞𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐰

summary: late nights were the most comforting.

warnings: kissing(?)

authors note: Hi!! i’m not sure how long this has been in my drafts…. but definitely for a long time. i’ll be posting some more stuff from my drafts this week to make up for the fact i’m currently super unmotivated!!

it was nights like these that you knew he had difficulty with sleep.

the soft, considerate patter of socked feet against the tatami floor, aimlessly wandering through the butterfly estate. usually, you’d be a rather deep sleeper, but you know that the days prior events were to no doubt owe tanjiro a sleepless night. so, you kept awake, listening for those soft padded footsteps.

you slipped out of bed, quietly and carefully opening and closing the shoji of your room, delicately delivering yourself to the kitchen. you didn’t know where the burgundy haired boys current location inside the estate was, but it was only a matter of time before he showed up.

and, like a moth to a flame, he turned the corner as you were poring the tea. His expression held one of surprise, clearly not expecting to see you awake at this hour. You sent him a kind, tired smile, placing down the tea pot and offering him a freshly filled cup.

with shaky hands he took it, though his face held confusion. “can’t sleep?” you asked softly, holding your cup with both hands as you await his answer.

He nods, and if the eye bags were anything to go by you knew he needed this tea remedy immediately.

“yes,” he replied bashfully, smiling at you. you ignored the lunge in your chest. “you?”

“I suppose you could say that.” you retort, a closed eyed smile left your expression before you could stop it. you couldn’t tell him you were up and waiting for him, could you?

You fixed your posture, taking steps forward and passing the sleepless boy, motioning for him to follow you. He did so, sloppy almost spilling his cup as he trailed after you.

The two of you walked outside, following along the engawa until you had a proper view of the full moon. You sat along the engawa’s edge, patting the empty space beside you. tanjiro sat down beside you. he was close.

You both allowed your legs dangle over the edge, the two of you sipping your own tea in the soft noise of cicada and cricket songs.

you failed to notice the lingering gaze of the kamado boy in your peripheral vision, too pre occupied with your own thoughts of him. Tanjiro was awestruck, to be frank. the way that the moonlight encased your face was nothing less of ethereal, the most beautiful thing he’d ever had the pleasure of seeing.

in honesty, the young boy was ready for sleep. his body ached and his time was well spent during the day, but it wasn’t the nightmares of prior demons that clouded his mind. it wasn’t the dread that ate at him at night, or the fear that itched his bones while he lay down. it was you. his mind was completely, and utterly flooded with thoughts of you. and, he wasn’t sure how to cope.

His racing mind could barley keep up with his heart, rocking his body back and fourth like a shishi-odoshi under heavy water. he couldn’t think. he couldn’t breathe. it was suffocating.

but, now, as he sat beside you under the moonlight, his suffering was all worth it. you were really something, weren’t you?

Tanjiro knew you had no trouble sleeping at night, he’d asked you before how you slept. He knows you get up to make him tea. he knows you care for him. so why does it bother him when you refer to him as kamado-kun? why does it ache him when you introduce him as your friend, why does it burn when you say goodbye or good night?

Now, he was unknowingly, fully staring at you. you felt the intense pressure of his eyes on you, and with a soft expression you turned to face him, though worry was no doubt littered in your irises.

“kamado-kun?” like a deer shoved out of bright light, he snapped back to reality. your eyes traced his face, brows furrowed in concern as you watched him. your gaze made him feel warm.

“a-ah, i’m sorry, y/n-san,” he blurted out, scratching the back of his neck, his eyes bashfully trailing back up to the full moon. you smile, although he couldn’t see.

silence followed after his words, and it was different. something unfamiliar traced the air, something awfully familiar. tanjiro’s heart beat soundly in his chest, and his eyes fluttered shut. from exhaustion or realization he couldn’t tell, but he knew he enjoyed it.

“The moon is beautiful tonight, isn’t it?”

tanjiro’s throat swelled at your words.

He jolted, shooting his eyes open— quickly fixating on your face, only to find your eyes searching his. Tanjiro had heard that phrase before, from reading a few books and even takes of stories, but he didn’t think much of it.

a declaration of love. could it be?

he couldn’t find his voice, helplessly trying to find a response with the lack of his vocal cords in the time he needed them most.

he stared into your eyes like a helpless boy, and you couldn’t help the peachy blush dusting your cheeks.

“yes, it is.” he finally choked out a reply, though his voice came out hoarse and dry, you held your smile.

“the moon is beautiful tonight, isn’t it, tanjiro-kun?” you repeated, this time barley above a whisper. Tanjiro hadn’t realized how close you’d gotten until you were only inches away, but respectful enough to notice.

his mouth was closing and opening over and over again, not being able to find the right thing to say.

“yes.” he whispered, staring helplessly at you. his eyes dipped to your lips, soft and plush as they held a smile.

“tanjiro-kun?” you called in question, soft and quiet as the moonlight lit your face. an angel.

“y… yes?” he didn’t know what else to say— he couldn’t say anything else. he didn’t know how.

“can i kiss you?” your question held a tone he hadn’t heard before. soft and delicate, but laced with something that was different. something he wanted.

he nodded, just barley, cheeks warming as your smile didn’t falter, but grew. and slowly— so slowly— you lent forward.

it was so slow, patronizingly slow. the time it took for you to carefully and delicately place your lips on hush— but when they finally met, it was euphoric.

your lips were so soft, so warm, tanjiro felt like he was melting under the warmth of the sun, even as the moon shone high in the sky. He kissed you back, unsure and shy, be he did the best that he could.

it only lasted a few seconds, but it was like a dream. and the blush on both your cheeks were hidden by the darkness of the moon, and just your facial features were illuminated by the light it generously radiated.

when the soft embrace ended, you felt like the breath you took after reached every corner of your lungs, scratching your fibers in extent to freedom. You could breathe, and you heard tanjiro breathing, too.

slowly, you slid your hand against thengawa and embraced your hand with his, intertwining your fingers. he squeezed your hand, reassuring and shy. You looked at his eyes, and although you couldn’t see much, you knew he was thinking deeply.

but, you didn’t think any words needed to be said. the kiss you shared said more than a thousand words.

and when you both looked back to the moon, hand in hand, you began to think maybe it wouldn’t hurt to say them aloud, too— but, it seems he beat you to it.

“I love you.”

[jplupine]

"Good Boy."

Pairing: Kenpachi Zaraki x AFAB Reader Word Count: ~5k Date Published: Jan 2, 2024 WARNINGS: 18+ Minors/Ageless get blocked, Established Relationship, Size Difference, Marking, Feral Behavior, Choker, Finger Sucking, Handjob, Hair Pulling, Cunnilingus, Praise Kink, Light Degradation, Office Sex, Terms of Endearment [My Love, Sweetheart, Good Boy], Creampie, Overstimulation, Dom!Reader, Sub!Kenpachi; Reader is AFAB but no gender is specified, Terms such as cock/dick/etc. get used

A/N: Y'all, Kenpachi really does make SUCH a good guard dog sub iykyk 😫 going feral every time I think about it

  It was quiet as you went back and forth between your desk and the shelves as you got work done. Some of the windows were open to let in the breeze along with sounds from the garden. Birds chirping, a running waterfall, and a shishi-odoshi rhythmically thunking against a rock.

  It was rare to get such a peaceful day given the ruckus your peers tended to cause.

  Grabbing a folder from the basket on the corner of your desk, you flipped it open to start signing the paperwork within. The scratching of your pen against the paper was a dull, monotonous sound.

  You suddenly jolted when screeching laughter went running past outside. Yachiru's voice was unmistakable, as was Ikkaku's as he bellowed and demanded for the little girl to leave him alone. You heavily sighed and grabbed a tissue to dab at the ink that had been smeared when you got startled.

  Their voices eventually faded the further away from the building they got. Peace returned, and you closed the folder before standing and taking it to the Captain's desk on the other side of the room. Placing it down, you then went back to your seat to go through the motions again.

  As you read through another report, you saw a large shadow cross over one of the windows from the corner of your eye. The door then swung open before a tall man ducked under the frame to enter the room.

  "About time you got here. Those files are piling up." You stated without looking up from the pages in front of you.

  "So?"

  "So, you need to go through those reports and sign off on them. I'm not doing all of the work here." You maintained a firm tone as Kenpachi crossed the room to his desk. He flopped down into his chair, the poor thing creaking under his weight.

  "I thought you liked this boring shit." Kenpachi huffed, and you finally looked up. He was leaning back in his seat with his arms crossed and a stern look on his face.

  "Captain, there's a difference between being responsible and enjoying this work. Now," You softly sighed while pointing at the piles of folders on his desk. "those are mission reports, those are training reports, and those are-"

  "I don't care." Kenpachi cut you off while keeping his gaze on you. Your mouth pursed into a flat line, and you maintained eye contact.

  "Captain." Your tone made one of his bald eyebrows quirk up. "You can't keep pawning your responsibilities off on others just because you find them boring." Kenpachi didn't respond at first. He looked to be sizing you up before he cocked his head to the side.

  "C'mere." There was another silent pause before you softly sighed through your nose and stood up. Leaving your pen on the desk, you then went over to his side of the room. "Who do you think you are telling your captain what to do?"

  "I think I'm the one who keeps having to clean up after you." Glancing down at the stacks of paperwork on his desk, you then looked back up at him. "You're worse than a dog, Captain. Even a puppy knows to sit and stay when told." You went around the desk while Kenpachi watched you with sharp eyes and his arms still crossed.

  You noticed how he tensed ever so slightly now that you were on the same side of the desk as him. Placing a hand on the desk, you didn't back down even with the intimidating expression on Kenpachi's face.

  "Did you just compare me to a fucking dog?" His voice growled as his fingers dug into his arms.

  "Don't like it? Maybe you should do your job." Kenpachi shot up out of his seat to tower over you and planted his hands on the desk on either side of you.

  "Maybe I should do my job and remind you of your place." His upper lip curled up into a snarl, but you were too used to his intimidation that it no longer worked on you. Instead, you stood up straighter with your face only inches from his.

  "Sit down." You ordered, but Kenpachi didn't move an inch, so you hooked your foot around his chair to bring it closer. It was clear you wouldn't repeat yourself, and Kenpachi slowly sat down with his hands still on the desk, your eyes locked the entire time. "Now, you're not leaving here until that paperwork is done. Understood?"

  Kenpachi burst into mad laughter, but you remained stern.

  "I'm not joking, Kenpachi." You curled your fingers behind his choker as your gaze dropped. "I know you hate this part of your job, but it must be done. I'll make it easier for you if you want. Only if you actually stay here and work."

  "....I'm listening." Kenpachi's tone softened with his gaze dropping to your mouth.

  "Good boy." You smiled while bringing your face closer to his. "I'll give you a treat for each one you complete."

  "What kind of treat?"

  "The kind that makes you whimper." You purred before kissing him. Kenpachi went to stand while caging you against the desk, but you stopped him before he could get much further. "Ah-ah. Sit back down."

  "C'mon-"

  "You heard me. Sit. Down." You raised your eyebrows, daring him to disobey. Kenpachi growled, but he did as told. "The treats come after." You grabbed a file and pulled it closer to open it. Picking up a pen, you held it out to him.

  "How do you expect me to focus now?"

  "Aw, you poor thing. Don't tell me you're already worked up without me even touching you." You smiled again and lifted his face by his chin. "I guess I can make a little compromise. Take the pen."

  He snatched it from you, and you sat on his thigh. His nose brushed against your jaw until you grabbed his choker and forced his head away.

  "Look at the paper, not me."

  "Little shit." Kenpachi growled while tearing his gaze away to look at the opened file folder.

  "Don't be rude. I don't have to help you." You kissed his cheek as he grumbled under his breath. You heard the scratching of the pen as he signed his name on the bottom line of the first page. His grip on the pen wasn't a comfortable one, but that was no surprise given how he would avoid paperwork as much as possible and only did it begrudgingly.

  He flipped to the next page, and you kissed the corner of his jaw.

  "Are you not even going to read it?"

  "I know you already did."

  "So?"

  "So, if it was that big of a deal, you'd say somethin'."

  "Our squad would suffer without me." You softly sighed while grabbing his sash to undo the knot. Kenpachi's cock was already hard and lifting the front of his hakama, and he signed his name again. "Keep writing." You ordered when Kenpachi was about to turn toward you. "Good boy." His sash came undone as you kissed the side of his neck.

  You then opened his haori and kosode more to expose his torso entirely. Kenpachi was tense and gripping the pen tighter as you kissed down the side of his neck.

  "Just keep working. You're doing good." Pulling his hakama down, his cock sprung free. "Open your mouth." Kenpachi's jaws parted as his long tongue stuck out. You placed your fingers into his mouth with his tongue curling around your digits. "Get them nice and wet, sweetheart." You purred and kissed his cheek.

  Kenpachi struggled to keep his eyes on the papers in front of him. His hand not busy writing moved from the desk to grab your hip and pull you even closer. You felt his thigh tense beneath you as you stroked your fingers over his tongue until he began to drool.

  His saliva dripped down his chin and your hand. Kenpachi grunted with his teeth bared like fangs, but you knew he wouldn't bite down on your fingers, not with the promise of pleasure being so close.

  When you finally pulled away from his mouth, drool stretched between your fingertips and his lips. You lowered your hand to grab his dick and smear his saliva over the length of his shaft. Kenpachi shuddered and hunched over with a shaky breath.

  "Fuck."

  "Focus. You need to make that legible." Your hand went higher, stroking over the head of his cock. There was an audible snap from Kenpachi's grip breaking the pen. It made you chuckle before you opened one of the desk drawers with your foot. "There's more pens in there. You're not getting out of work that easily."

  "Damn it." Kenpachi reluctantly picked up a pen from the drawer.

  "Come on. You're almost done with this one." You slid your fingers into his hair, and he groaned while leaning into your touch. His grip on your hip tightened as you continued to languidly stroke his cock.

  Kenpachi made it to the end of the page before slamming the folder closed. He dropped the pen and turned to you, wrapping his arms around you while burying his face into the side of your neck. His tongue lapped over your pulse as his fingers dug into your flesh until you pulled his hair to yank his head back.

  "It's cute when you're so eager."

  "I finished the damn thing."

  "Yes, you did." You chuckled. "But that's not the only one, my love."

  "You said I'd get a treat for each one I finish."

  "I did."

  "Then why the fuck are you pulling me away?"

  "Maybe I want a kiss." You smiled before pressing your lips to his. The kiss was hungry and intensified when you slid your tongue into his mouth. Your thumb rubbed over his slit, smearing precum and making him moan into your mouth.

  His hips bucked, driving his cock further into your hand.

  "Touch me." Your voice was breathy as you spoke against his lips before you continued the kiss. Kenpachi's large hand went between your thighs, rubbing against your core through your clothes.

  Kenpachi groaned as your fingers tangled in his hair to tug again. You nipped his bottom lip before licking to soothe the sting.

  "Finish another one, and you can take my clothes off." You muttered while looking at his kiss-swollen lips. His hand shot out to grab another folder. "Mm. Perhaps I spoil you too much."

  "I'm not spoiled." Kenpachi snapped with a glare.

  "Really? Work, then." You raised your eyebrows while pulling away from him. You even crossed your arms to stop touching him. "If you're not spoiled, I shouldn't have to reward you just to get you to do your duties." Kenpachi looked shocked as his mouth hung open with his brows deeply furrowed.

  You stood up with your back turned to him. You could feel Kenpachi's burning gaze as the corners of your mouth twitched up into an amused smile.

  "As I was saying earlier, these ones are-" You cut yourself off when Kenpachi was on his feet and looming over you. He slammed his hands down on the desk, his hot breath hitting the top of your head.

  "I don't need you to get work done." Kenpachi growled. Without saying anything, you flipped open the file and made your challenge clear.

  You were pushing it, toying with Kenpachi's limits. His nails dug into the desk as he huffed, and you wondered what he might do. Would he crack and give in or would his stubbornness get in the way?

  Kenpachi picked up the pen and began to scribble along the printed line. You flipped the page once he was done to expose the next one. When he got to the third page, Kenpachi stepped closer as his writing began to slow. His lips brushed the back of your neck with his body pressing against yours.

  You ignored him to keep him working. His sharp teeth scraped over your skin, sending a tingle up your spine. Kenpachi nipped while grinding against your ass to get friction against his erection.

  "See? You couldn't even make it five minutes."

  "Shut up." Kenpachi growled against the back of your neck.

  "Why? Are you embarrassed?" You smirked while leaning back and looking up to see the tall man. His gaze was a mix of agitation and wanting. "I can't take your anger seriously when you can't even stop humping me like a dog."

  "I'm the captain. This is my office. You are my subordinate."

  "Oh, listen to you barking. It's sweet how you try, but we both know the truth." Your hand reached back to run up his bare thigh. You studied his face, watching every subtle change in his expression as he listened to you. "Ranks mean nothing here." Reaching up with your other hand, you cupped his cheek, and he leaned into your touch. "Just give in to me. Let me take the weight off your shoulders, my love."

  You could see the way he seemed to think about it. You already knew he'd bend; he craved you too much to deny you.

  His hand suddenly grabbed your sash only to have you smack it away.

  "I already told you the terms, Kenpachi. My clothes don't come off until you've finished going through this file." The large man responded by huffing through his nose like a bull with an irritated expression on his face. "Don't give me that look. You're the one taking forever to finish your work."

  "I-"

  "No. And I won't repeat myself again." Your tone had a threatening edge that got his attention. It was a battle of wills, and you both knew your resolve was much stronger. Kenpachi was greatly driven by his instincts given his upbringing and was rarely ever patient. It was something you used against him to make him crumble.

  He was already aching, and grinding against your ass wasn't enough- he wanted more. So he angrily scrawled on the papers on the desk, signing off on the reports that had been waiting so long for him to do so. You couldn't help but smile at your victory. You rocked your hips back, pressing against his hard cock to tease him.

  "Ngh!" Kenpachi hunched over with his jaw clenched tight, his nails digging into the desk as his grip on the pen was nearly crushing it. You then turned around to face him while sitting against the edge of the desk.

  With his hakama pooled around his ankles and the rest of his clothes barely hanging on his shoulders, there was nothing obscuring your view of his body. His thighs were like tree trunks on either side of you, his dick hard and leaking from the tip as his broad chest rose and fell with each breath.

  You hummed and grabbed his hips to pull him closer while listening to the scratching of the pen against the paper.

  "Oh, sweetheart. You should finish that fast if you want to take care of this anytime soon." You cooed while running your finger over the head of his cock to collect the precum beading there. Kenpachi's hips bucked as his breath shook, and now that you were facing him, you could see every twitch and flex of his muscles from your touch.

  Even his thighs twitched on either side of you as you made it harder for him to focus. Leaning forward, you kissed his warm chest before licking. You listened to how his breath faltered as he tried so hard to get to the last page of the report. You were feeding off of his desperation.

  Grabbing his choker, you pulled him closer to kiss down the side of his neck. Your hands went up the back of his thighs before cupping his ass and squeezing. Kenpachi jolted and paused for a second to take a deep breath.

  Your hands traveled over his hips and down his thighs only to trail back up his inner thighs. Your fingertips ghosting over the sensitive skin there made Kenpachi's cock twitch. Precum left a trail of moisture along his shaft as he rocked his hips as if silently begging for you to touch him where he needed it most.

  Dragging your finger up the underside of his dick, Kenpachi grunted. The low, gravelly sound delighted you as you continued to toy with the large man before you. Your fingertips traced his form, following the dips and curves of his muscles as you nipped his chest and left gentle marks on his skin.

  Kenpachi, on the other hand, was barely hanging on. He was beginning to sound like an animal with his heavy breaths and grunting through clenched teeth. His hips rocked, seeking any relief he could get while struggling to get to the end of the report.

  You knew when he finally reached the end because he nearly ripped your sash off and threw open your kosode. Kenpachi was determined to get you undressed as soon as possible without ruining your clothes. No matter how tempting it was to do so, he knew the consequences from the last time he'd done it and left you pissed off and waiting in the office while he had to go find you new clothes.

  His hands were on you, pulling and squeezing to get your body against his without any space in between. His face was in your hair, inhaling your scent without shame with a groan.

  You grabbed his haori to shove it off his shoulders, leaving him naked with his clothes piled on the floor. Kenpachi nipped the corner of your jaw before licking to soothe the sting as he wrapped his arms around you to get you on the desk. You slid the reports back to make more room.

  Kenpachi left sloppy kisses down the side of your neck while running his hands up your thighs. His tongue dragged over your collarbone as your fingers tangled in his hair. You pushed his head lower while spreading your legs further.

  "I'll give you a choice here. I'll let you cum if you finish another report, or you can use that tongue of yours first instead." Kenpachi looked up at you, and without hesitation, buried his face between your thighs. He grabbed your hips to pull you closer to the edge of the desk as he fell to his knees. "Good boy." You purred while running your fingers through his wild hair.

  Kenpachi groaned when he tasted your arousal. With one hand still in his hair, you placed the other on the desk to give you better stability. His tongue made broad strokes to lap up your accumulated slick, but he wasn't slow. No, he was like a starved man and a mess.

  His eyes were hooded but never fully closed as he dragged his tongue over your clit. You took in a sharp breath and tightened your grip on his hair. Kenpachi groaned, the vibration traveling along his tongue in the best ways.

  You tilted your hips to give him easier access to your leaking core, and he greedily slid his tongue deep inside to let your taste drown his taste buds. His hands moved from your hips to your thighs while getting your legs over his broad shoulders.

  Kenpachi was noisy and dug his fingers into your plush thighs. His naturally menacing features were endearing with the red tint coloring the tips of his ears and his nose scrunched up with a snarl. It was as if he couldn't get enough of you with the way he pulled you closer and groaned into your wet heat.

  His tongue eventually retreated only for his lips to close around your clit. You moaned when he began sucking and let your head fall back with your eyes closed. His strong grip on your thighs helped keep you grounded because, fuck, was his mouth good for more than just shouting.

  "That's it. You're doing so good." Your breathy voice was followed by a moan. Kenpachi dragged his tongue over your clit before delving back into your core. You looked down at him to see that he was already looking up at you. "What's the matter, gorgeous? Reaching your limit?"

  Kenpachi growled while tightening his grip on your thighs to the point of bruising. His pupils were wide and made his eyes look so dark, and the hunger within their depths made you nearly pounce on him, but you had to maintain at least a modicum of self-control. There was no telling what damage could be done to the office if you didn't.

  "You're- Ngh!- right where you belong, my love. On your knees for me." You gave a lopsided grin while running your fingers through his hair. "I bet your poor cock is weeping being so neglected." You tugged on his hair to force his face back away from you.

  Around his mouth and chin were soaked with drool and your slick, mixing and dripping from his chin as he panted. Kenpachi licked his lips like a hungry animal would its maw.

  "Do you think you deserve to cum?" You questioned while cocking your head to the side.

  "Yes." Kenpachi's voice was low and husky.

  "I don't know." You hummed.

  "What else do you want from me? The reports? I'll fill out the fucking reports."

  "Begging now, are you? My, you must be desperate." You leaned over while pulling his hair to make his head lean back. Kissing his forehead, you smiled. "All right, sweetheart." You slid your legs off his shoulders to stand.

  Placing your hands on his shoulders, you lowered yourself to straddle his lap and to keep him on his knees. Draping one arm over the back of his neck, you reached down with your other hand. Kenpachi grabbed your hips as you palmed his cock to guide him toward your entrance.

  The slick and saliva helped ease his way in, and you kissed him while feeling him go deeper and deeper. You could taste yourself on his lips as he groaned. Kenpachi's grip tightened, digging his fingers into your flesh with a low grunt.

  "Mmm. Fuck, you feel so good." You muttered with your lips brushing against his while carding your fingers through the trail of hair under his belly button. With your feet hooked over his thighs, you were able to lift yourself before lowering back down.

  Kenpachi's hands moved from your hips to grab your ass. You licked his cheek while running your hand up his torso. His breath shook as you touched him.

  "Open your eyes, sweetheart. Look at me." Kenpachi opened his eyes and looked right into yours. "You're doing so good. But I want you to do one more thing for me, my love."

  His jaw clenched as his eyes begged you to not make him wait any longer. He'd been holding out this entire time, doing as you asked, listening to your orders and accepting your terms.

  You chuckled and grabbed his choker before falling back while dragging him down with you. You landed on your clothes with him hovering over you. Taking in a deep breath through your nose, you slowly let it out through your mouth.

  "I want you to let loose, big boy. Make me cum." You purred while still holding his choker. Kenpachi's nostrils flared as he huffed like a bull. He planted his hands on the floor on either side of you before rocking his hips back.

  "Fucking finally." Kenpachi muttered before thrusting his hips into you. He groaned as you bit your bottom lip. His long hair spilled over his shoulders and swayed with his thrusting.

  "Harder." You panted while tugging on his choker, and he did as told, going harder while digging his nails into the floor. You moaned with your legs hooking over his hips. After a few thrusts, however, Kenpachi snatched something from the floor while lifting your hips. He shoved the garment under you after rolling it up.

  Kenpachi had used his Captain's Haori to angle your hips higher. Given the size difference between you two, it made it easier for Kenpachi to go deeper at the perfect angle. Your head rolled back with a moan as Kenpachi groaned. He was pistoning his cock, his balls smacking against your ass with each thrust.

  "Fuck! Yes, right there!" You pulled Kenpachi closer, and he buried his face into your neck, moaning into your skin. His larger body caged yours against the floor as he clung to you, his grip rough enough to leave marks.

  Your nails raked over his back, leaving red lines in their wake. Kenpachi bucked his hips as he grunted and his hot breath rolled over your skin. You felt his lips part before his teeth grazed your shoulder.

  One of your hands slid up the back of his neck and into his hair. His thrusts jostled your entire body, his dick dragging against your walls before slamming back in at a rapid pace. He was grunting and groaning into your shoulder with some of the sounds he made coming out like growls and whines.

  "Oh, fuck~!" You pulled on his hair while leaving more marks on his back. "Don't stop! Don't you dare fucking stop!" The pressure was rising in your lower gut as you could feel your orgasm getting closer and closer.

  Kenpachi groaned and latched his mouth on the side of your neck to leave a hickey. His rough hands pulled you even closer to his body, skin feeling so hot as if a fire was burning just beneath. He let go of your neck with a pop before dragging his tongue over the forming bruise.

  His mark was too high to be hidden beneath your uniform, but you didn't mind. The needy brute was like a dog marking territory, making sure others knew you were taken. Who else could make him feel this way and beg for it again if not you?

  How your fingers tangled in his hair and pulled, the marks you left on his skin, the way you squeezed around him; it was maddening.

  "Look at me, sweetheart." You got Kenpachi to lift his head to look at you. He was a mess, drooling and panting with his hair looking wilder from you mussing it up. Cupping his face in your hands, you brushed your thumbs over his cheeks. "That's my good boy." You cooed, but his gaze went unfocused as his jaw dropped with a loud, rumbling moan.

  Kenpachi rutted with his balls still smacking against your ass, his cock twitching with each spurt of cum. His entire body tensed, but he forced his hips to keep moving.

  "I told you to make me cum."

  "I will. I will." Kenpachi panted and grabbed the back of your knees to push your legs toward your chest. "I can keep going." He grunted, but you could hear the edge of desperation in his voice. With his hips flush against your ass, you felt so utterly full as his cum was leaking out.

  His gaze was glued to you as his thrusts were slower but deeper than before. Kenpachi looked feral with drool dripping down his chin and the veins in his his arms bulging as he held you in place. He was determined to give you what you wanted no matter how overstimulated he got.

  You placed one of your hands over your pelvis and added pressure, making both of you moan. Kenpachi bucked and shuddered while snarling and trying so hard to hang on. With your other hand, you began to rub circles over your clit.

  The sound Kenpachi made as you clenched around his cock was a gravely whimper as his back arched. His grip on your thighs tightened, and you listened to him cry out. His determination to give you what you wanted, to make you happy, was the only thing keeping him going. Kenpachi's overly sensitive dick continued plowing and forcing out his cum with each thrust.

  It made a mess on both of you, and you were filled with pride. Watching the large, intimidating man crumbling over you was such a delight. He was trying his best to wade through the pleasure and overstimulation numbing his mind to make sure you got to cum, too.

  When you finally did get to climax, Kenpachi was cumming again with a loud, bellowing moan. He buried his cock in you as deep as he could, feeling you tense around him as his eyes closed from the overwhelming sensations.

  Kenpachi groaned while dropping on top of you. His face nuzzled under your jaw with his arms wrapping around you.

  "Aw, tuckered out now? That's okay. You did so good." You couldn't help but chuckle before kissing the side of his head. Wrapping your arms around him, you even carded your fingers through his hair in a comforting manner. Despite his weight on you, it wasn't too much for you to tell him to move. You let him rest on you, skin to skin, as his heavy breathing began to mellow out.

  With your cheek resting on his head, your hand not playing with his hair began to rub soothing circles over his shoulder blade.

  "Do you need water?" You questioned, and Kenpachi grunted in response. "I have a bottle at my desk if you do." He only grunted again. "You're so cute like this, my love." You chuckled and kissed the side of his head again.

  In return, Kenpachi just nuzzled against you further. After all of your teasing and then the overstimulation, it wasn't a surprise that he would need a moment to collect himself. Your touch was gentle and helped ground him.

  "A reward for each report?" Kenpachi mumbled against your throat.

  "Yes, you'll still get a treat. But only when you finish them." Your answer was met with a grunt to let you know you had been heard. Kenpachi suddenly reared up, kneeling while leaning on the edge of the desk. You heard the rustling of papers from him going through another report. Chuckling, you sat up and kissed his chest before resting your cheek against his skin, listening to his heartbeat while patiently waiting and thinking of his next reward.

[karasukarei]

Wind Breaker Drama CD vol. 2 - Oedo-style Fuurin Tale (Part 4 - final)

Translation masterpost here!

Part 1 here! Part 2 here! Part 3 here!

Special thanks to @orewing !

Scene 12 – 21:53~24:40

Choji: That’s great, that’s great! Ume-chan is really strong!

Umemiya: *panting* (t/n: this is really hot) You too Tomiyama! 

Sakura: Come at me again with all your strength!

Togame: Igoatama (t/n: literally “the guy behind”; this is Togame’s nickname for Sakura here instead of othello)... You’re stronger than I expected…

Hiiragi: Umemiya! Sakura!

Choji: Eh? Your friends are here?

Togame: There should’ve been a lot of our guys downstairs too…

Enomoto: If it’s those guys you’rrrrrrre talking about, we’ve cleaned them up!

Hiiragi: Yeah. Surrender now.

Togame: Ehhh? As expected of Fuurin-gumi. You guys are as strong as the rumours say.

*sheathes / drops sword*

Umemiya: We didn’t come to fight with your for the sake of it. I don’t know what your motive is, but stop your evil act of taking haori from samurai right aw-

Choji: Ah! That’s fine!

Umemiya: Eh?

Choji: We’re not taking haori anymore. We were looking for a legendary haori, but we don’t need it anymore.

Everybody: Huh?

Togame: Huuuuuuuuuuh? (t/n: it’s a suuuuper long and slow “huuuuuuuh”. Like a tortoise) Wait, why? You were saying you wanted it so badly just now, right? That’s why we’ve been working so ha-

Choji: I had a suuuper fun time fighting with Ume-chan today! But if I get the haori and become stronger than anyone else, I won’t be able to have fun duels with Ume-chan anymore, right? I thought that’ll be really boring!

Togame: Ehhhhh…?

Umemiya: I don’t really get it, but does that mean you’ll stop coming to wreck the town?

Choji: Yup, I’ll return all the haori we took too!

Umemiya: Oh, is that so? Then as for this incident, let’s just drop it here?

Hiiragi: *with his stomach in anguish* If you guys are fine with it that’s alright.

Kiryuu: Eh? Eh? So we’re really just going to end it like this?

Suo: Looks like it.

Sakura: Anyway, what’s with this “legendary haori”?

Choji: Hmm, recently when I was in town, I heard a rumour! A legendary haori that raises your strength, and makes you stronger than anyone else when you wear it!

Tsuge: What’s that!? Sounds real great!

Choji: Right, right?!

Togame: When I went to ask around, it seems that the samurai who was wearing that haori was in the next town over, and Choji came to look for him.

Kiryuu: So that’s why you were taking the haori of samurai..

Nirei: But in the end, you never found it right? I heard rumours that you’ll recognise it right away, cos it’s a flashy pattern that you rarely see in Edo.

Suo: Ah! Could that haori be…?

Scene 13 – 24:40~end

Umemiya: Alright! Wait there a little till the camera is ready!

Nirei: Understood!

Hiiragi: Even then, who would’ve thought that the legendary haori Tomiyama was after was Nirei’s haori?

Nirei: Ah, ahahah… hahaha…

Tsuge: But in the end, that’s just a regular, flashy haori right? Why did so many rumours spring from it?

Nirei: Uh, that’s… Before I joined Fuurin-gumi, I wanted to at least look like I was a strong person, so I wore that haori. And when I wore it i really looked like I was stronger and I was really happy, and when I was speaking to the people in town, I told them that I was overflowing with power, that I felt strong just from wearing it, and things started to get mixed up.

Kiryuu: So while you were telling many people about this, the story got twisted more and more…

Suo: And it turned into the rumour of the haori that makes you stronger than anyone else when you wear it, right?

Sugi (?): How foolish…

Nirei: I’m really sorry for the trouble I caused!

Umemiya: But we managed to have a meaningful exchange with Shishi-no-Kashira when we previously had no interaction with them at all, it’s all thanks to Nirei’s haori!

Nirei: Umemiya-san!!! *one the verge of tears*

Umemiya: When we spoke they seemed like really interesting fellows too, next time let’s go visit them!

Sakura: But we can’t interfere with my settlement with Togame.

Hiiragi: Looks like we’re getting more troublesome things now.

Enomoto: Since we’rrrrrre taking photos today, arrrrrren’t you wearrrrring that haorrrrrri?

Nirei: Yes! I’m still weak and can only be on lookouts now, but from now on I’m going to work hard so that I can properly protect this town!

Hiiragi: That’s a good ambition.

Nirei: Yes!

Suo: Bye the way, hasn’t Sakura been wandering around here for a while now?

Tsuge: It’s his first time in a photo studio.

Sakural: This isn’t a place I’d just go to like that!

Kiryuu: Is the photo today to commemorate the end of the Shishi-no-kashira incident?

Umemiya: Yeah, there’s that too, but the main reason we’re coming to take photos is to commemorate Sakura and friends joining Fuurin-gumi!

Sakura: There’s no need to take photographs just for this!

Umemiya: Ehhh? It’s fine isn’t it?

Nirei: I’m really happy about it! Sakura’s really happy about it too, right?

Sakura: Eh?! It’s not like I’m happy about it…!

Suo: You’re not really honest are you?

Sakura: Shut up!

Kaji: The camera is ready.

Umemiya: Aight! Ok everyone! Gather here! Sugishita too, don’t leave any gaps, come right here!

Sugi: Yes…

Umemiya: Right! We’re taking the photo now! Smile everyone, don’t move! Thank you!

[the-monkey-ruler]

According to your opinion, what do you think would be SWK's best written romance or what would they be as for the adaptations? You know, not only does the romance appear and that's it, but does it develop or at least seem good to you?

Not to say there are bad romances, but I just wanted to ask.

Honestly, it depends on what you think is romantic.

There is a reason that the Chinese Odyssey is such a cult classic and it's not because they get together at the end, but rather because it explores the idea of self-expression and restricted freedom in the view of romance. Sun Wukong cannot exist unless Joker becomes him, and Joker cannot become Sun Wukong if he falls in love. He had the chance to love and he lost it, being forced to change who he is, knowing what he could have had. Chinese Odyssey became so popular because it explores what it means to sacrifice your own individuality and conform to societal expectations while still having slapstick humor.

And I won't lie and say that has also changed my view of romance with Wukong in that I do not think there can be a Retelling of Wukong where he gets with an SO. There can be great Reimangings or Alternative Universes (and there are) but if someone wants a faithful adaption of the story there can be additions such as adding a romantic subplot but in no circumstances can they end up together. And that could still be a good romantic story.

The quality of romance does not have to depend on a happy ending but one that relates to people and touches their hearts. I think the key to any romance is that connection to the audience, showing a level of genuine yearning and the struggle with that yearning that anyone can relate to when it comes to connecting to another person, romance or not.

Personally, I haven't seen a romance story done it better showing that desire for connection like Chinese Odessey since...

But I would say a close runner-up is the 1996 Journey to the West subplot within the show. As I think as far as relating to a character this is one that I found personally touched by.

In the 1996 Journey to the West is also not a one-to-one with the book as it follows more like a drama than an adventure story with deep character elements but still a wonderful adventure. This probably has the best tv live-action versions of the characters with just how in-depth they go with each character and we actively see them have their individual character arcs as they go from quarreling journeymates to a close-knit found family.

On one of these adventures they meet the Spider Sisters, but not all evil as one of the Sisters, Shishi, is trying to find her lost love from her past life. The gang helps her and Wukong RELUCTANTLY helps as well though he is distrustful of demons and sees no point in trying to find lost love. Shishi's sister, Enen, tags along as well and defends her sister's desire to find her lost love when to her, love is the most important thing in the world. But to Wukong he believes that learning Buddhism and teaching is what is most important. The more Enen and Wukong work together the more Enen falls in love with Wukong's compassion, heroism, and diligence, seeing him as someone to be admired and someone she wishes to impress as well.

The reason I adore this love story is that it is one-sided completely and I think that the narration does such a fantastic job of showing how much Wukong loves Enen has a friend and someone he cares about deeply but he just doesn't have romantic feelings for. I thought that the build-up of their relationship was fascinating in that Wukong comes to terms with seeing Enen as a good friend and someone who has changed his worldview that not all demons are after power, some are just living their lives, and just that knowing her platonically has made him a more compassionate person. But that is the issue in that Wukong's love for Enen is purely platonic and how he even refuses to compromise on his morals and lie to her that he feels the same when he loves her only as a friend.

Enen falls for Wukong because he is her friend and someone that she admires as well. She tries to become more like him by giving up meat and eating fruit and even trying to study Buddhism with him. She didn't do these acts because SHE wanted to, but rather so she could be closer to Wukong. But in the end (Enen loses her cultivation from a demon and asks Wukong to at least say 'I love you' before she turns back into her original form) she isn't able to make Wukong feel the same THOUGH NO FAULT OF HER OWN.

In my personal experience, I have felt this many times, when friends try to admit their feelings, and that soul-crushing burden of having to let them down gently. When you care about someone and are willing to support them or fight for them but the one thing you can't do is reciprocate their feelings. Wukong in this series is being hounded by both Bajie and Wujing to at least pretend for Enen's sake (she does uncultivated and returns to spider form but isn't dead) and when Wukong tells her that he does care for her but not in that way he is seen as the bad guy.

Enen did nothing wrong in falling for Wukong, but she wasn't able to accept that he just couldn't feel the same. And Wukong did nothing wrong in not feeling the same as he cares for his friend greatly but he cannot lie to himself or her how he feels because he respects her too much to lie. Bajie and Wujing both call him heartless but moreso that they feel so bad for Enen but Wukong is the one that has to carry the burden of her feelings for the rest of his life.

Some people might not see this as a love story at all but I think this is a type of love story that is very common and that people on both the receiving and the giving end can relate to. That dejection from rejection and opening your heart and thinking maybe if you change, or something is wrong with you, or that you are not good enough. That horrible feeling of guilt for things out of your control and not being able to give someone you deeply care about what they want and then feeling more guilt that there is something wrong with you for not feeling the same. I thought that the show has an advantage over movies as it gives the characters time and room to grow and change around each other. Wukong becomes more sympathetic to demons and even has a deeper understanding of the importance of love just by knowing Enen before she "died" and rather because she lived (and still lives) he still cares about her and wants her to live the best life she can.

Even in her spider form, even when she wouldn't be able to understand him, Wukong refuses to lie to her about his feelings but expresses that he wants her to live a good life, one that leads her to enlightenment and back to her human form. He cares so much about her but just not in the way that she wants. I think there is something very well done in how the show shows that it wasn't either of their faults and that while they can love one another you can't change people. People can only change if they want to change, and you can't force people to feel the same. There are different forms of love and each is important, and just because someone feels a different kind of love doesn't make it any less real.

To me, a love story is about connection and how the audience can feel themselves in the characters. Love can be scary and you're more often going to face rejection than anything but that doesn't mean it is anyone's fault. Sometimes people just don't feel the same, as much as they do care about you, and learning to accept that and let go is a part of growing up. As such I think that my favorite would be the 1996 subplot as I feel that is it both emotional and that it also still follows the Xiyouji format. Especially love Wukong going to the Red String of Fate guy (Yue Lao) and rewriting people's tragic love stories so they can live happily ever after!

I think that maybe I enjoyed this the most as I feel like it still captured Wukong's character wonderfully as someone who might not feel romantic feelings (following the book) but also someone who learns compassion and what it means to love another person. He knew what it was like for someone to love him and that is not something to be taken lightly. People being vulnerable and expressing their desire can be scary and something to be even admired but can still unavoidable cause pain. It wasn't his fault that he didn't like Enen back but he wanted her and even others to find that kind of love. He wants people to feel free to find comfort in connecting with another person even if it isn't himself.

That is to say, there aren't other romances that I did enjoy that are reciprocated love as well! Funny enough the ones that I really enjoy are all Japanese or based on the Saiyuki series.

Alakazam the Great (1960) 西遊記

Monkey Magic (1998) モンキーマジック

The New Legends of Monkey (2018) 新猴王传奇

I think the common factor of these is that Wukong in all these forms becomes a better person just by knowing their SO and take it upon themselves to become a better person, rather than the SO taking it upon themselves trying to 'fix' Wukong, I feel like that is an issue with a lot more modern romances of Wukong in that they are far too rushed, if Wukong does start off as a jerk then there is no real reason the SO should fall for him, and then Wukong doesn't stop being a jerk until the end when there is no proper resolution. It feels all very rushed and very forced.

I think that I enjoyed these versions mostly because they had the advantage of keeping the SO alive and they play on the trope of "changing for your loved ones" rather than "getting character development because of SO's death." We see Wukong in 1960 slowly relearn what it means to be humble and grateful to his SO Rinrin with her undying (literally) devotion and how this dedication leads to him wanting to be a better person deserving to be by her side. Monkey Magic 1998 is a surprising one but one that I found charming nonetheless as Goku is a hotheaded and impulsive person but everything he does is for his friends one being Fenya. They never confirmed their relationship but she is the only one who never treats Goku differently after he becomes the king and even when he demands her to call him as such she never lets him forget his humble roots which by the end he learns to return to. The last New Legends 2018 is also surprising as I really didn't enjoy the plot of this show and found the pacing painful, but that Monkey and Tripitaka's relationship was something that had a lot of potential. From Monkey's arrogant attitude and Tripitaka's deception of her true identity, I thought that the show handled them slowly but surely coming to trust and rely on each other. I feel like the show could do a lot more with their character development but I doubt we are getting a third season.

I will say a guilty pleasure of mine is Monkey King 2014 just cause it is more of an innocent childhood crush kind of feeling than anything else. I'm sad that she still dies but I feel like out of the Wukong romances I have seen (please note I haven't seen them all) I can see why the SO would fall for Wukong as he was nothing but sweet and kind to her and that I was sad to see her go.

[project-sekai-facts]

Pre-broadcast station commentary

The next broadcast station will be held on the 27th, featuring Chiruriin, Jiena, Itoken, and Minoringo. The guest during the VOCALOID Music SEKAI segment this time will be Shishi Shishi.

Rotation 4 is nearly done and only has one event left, that being Ena's 4th event! We can definitely expect her event to be announced on stream. Her event will be 2DMV and the rateup at the very least should feature Mizuki. Hopefully pure attribute so Niigo can finally get a pure vsinger 4* card.

That said, there will be one other event too! Since Chiruriin is here, I'm tempted to say it will be for Saki, but Ichika works too I guess if there's any card distribution issues.

For the 3.5 mixed event... well Akito not getting a card at all on concerto seems to pretty much confirm him for the event. This happened to Mizuki back in December. As for the other cards, there's surprisingly few people it could be. The 5 most likely characters are Akito (likely the banner character), Airi, Saki, Honami, and KAITO (mmj or n25). Miku (vbs or mmj) also works if clpl doesn't care about vsinger lim balance. Rui and Nene work too, but it's pretty much confirmed that Tsukasa and Emu are the fes cards, so is clpl cruel enough to put 3 of 4 wxs members on lim rateup 8 days after wxs lim rateup? I think Akito/Airi/Saki is most likely, with mmj kaito as the vsinger card.

And for April lim, I actually have an idea already. April's lim slot has consistently been unit lims. Every year. Here's the thing though: like with 3.5, there's barely any units that actually work. It won't be niigo because of Ena4 being the same month. It can't be MMJ because 3/4 of their members are maxed for lims (and if airi's on 3.5 you can make that 4/4). It's incredibly likely that either Saki or Honami will be lim on 3.5, which puts you with 3/4 being maxed for lims (plus the chances of saki5). WxS in theory works with Nene/Rui/Luka lineup, but you hit a snag with the fact they already have 4/6 vsinger lims.

If April is a limited unit event, it will probably be for VBS. There's some other evidence to back this up too, namely the fact it kinda has to be An/Toya limited if it does happen. Akito 3.5 will max him out for lims, Kohane had valentines recently but long enough that it could justify her getting a lim. However we know already that An and Toya have already gone more than a year without lims, the absolute maximum time to go without a lim (as of posting) is 15 months, 15 months after white day Toya puts him on the wedding banner, and he already has a wedding card. He has to be april limited unless colopale hates him lmao. And obviously, An works for the banner card and also has gone ages without a lim. Luka, Rin or Miku could work as a vsinger card.

This stream will also reveal the songs for the 3.5 anniversary vsinger song campaign, as well as possibly give us a sneak peek of this year's april fools prank.

[tianshiko]

smile for the camera~

[rose-tea-and-strawberries]

One of my favourite twst fanfics has the premise of the dorm leaders competing for the affections of an oblivious Yuu. In Leona’s chapter, Leona kept bringing fresh meat (as in live animals lol) for food to Yuu as a part of his courting ritual. (He gave her a rabbit once and she made it a pet called Mr. Rabbit Rosetarts after Riddle)

Ruggie was the one who pointed out to him that Yuu wouldn’t understand what beastman rituals were. Now, Leona’s mad that Simba and Nala have been giving him the wrong advice. Also, could you imagine that Leona was also bringing meat to a vegetarian Mc (that wouldn’t fly with my mc).

YES! YES! YES!

Yuu has been through hell and back in this world so she deserves to have handsome boys simping over her and having every single Disney animated character adopt her as a daughter/sister/niece.

When I was first brainstorming this AU I had this scene in my head where Ruggie and Jack were visiting her at her job and she notes to them how strange Leona is acting recently. When asked to elaborate she basically lists every single way male lions court females (at least the ones that would make sense. Let me make it clear that in no way, shape or form does Leona ever urinate on anything that isn't a commode) and Ruggie, Jack and practically every single animal is incredibly amused at how oblivious she is. I mean, practically all big cats have similar mating rituals like head rubbing/nuzzling so I can imagine Bagheera and Shere Khan just shaking their heads and chuckling at how adorably confused Yuu is when Ruggie just starts hyena cackling.

(why can't other cats nuzzle heads to show affection. The only time my cat comes near my head it's to eat my hair and yes she does it often)

Yuu is getting concerned with how hard Ruggie's laughing that she doesn't even catch his "holy seven, he's scenting her - he's shishi trying shi to shi cour-court shishishi" in between laughs as Jack can't tell whether to smile or also be concerned because Ruggie has been laughing really hard for a really long time, doesn't he need oxygen?

Yuu's just confused like 'why are you laughing? do you understand what's happening? is it a lion thing?'

Jack is like 'well-' before Ruggie covers his mouth and says 'yeah it's a lion thing' before offering no other explanation even when Yuu begs him to tell her because what if he's like sick.

He is sick, Yuu. He's incredibly love sick. He's also got a case of basorexia if you catch my drift.

Ruggie's just like 'when you get it, you get it' and so she just continues on with her work.

Don't think Simba and Nala are the only lions in the club giving bad advice. The OG LeonaYuu shipper, the icon himself, Scar is there plotting ways to get Leona together with Yuu. Only his strategic prowess usually leans more towards fratricide than it does romance.

In my head, I don't think Leona thinks Simba and Nala's advice was bad because he was raised to believe that lion courting rituals are the way to woo any female since it works for everyone in his family. He just thinks Yuu is too dense to understand what he's doing (I mean, she is)

I don't think Leona would give Yuu meat if she's a vegetarian whether he's romantically interested in her or not. It has nothing to do with respecting women - it's just a decent thing to do. He's very intelligent so he'd definitely know for sure that she doesn't eat meat even if she doesn't tell him. So we don't have to worry about that happening.

I also had this in mind from Yuu misunderstanding a blatant flirting attempt from Leona before she gets called away to another room:

"Of all the herbivores I had to fall for, it had to be her," Leona groaned, lifting his head from his crossed arms on the table to glare at the way Ruggie, Shenzi, Banzai and Ed were outright cackling at his frustration, "why can't she get it through her thick skull that I'm trying to court her?"

"Maybe because you're trying to attract her like she's a lioness," Ruggie stated, wiping a tear from his eye, "In case you didn't notice, boss, she isn't one."

"I know that," Leona griped, "she's nothing like the lionesses in my pride. She's ten times the lion I've ever met. I just don't get how she can be so-so-"

"Dumb?" Ruggie offered.

"Hey," Jack frowned at his upperclassman along with several other patrons who felt displeasure at the insult towards their beloved waitress, "she's a top student."

"You can get 100 percent in an exam and still be dumb."

"Well Yuu isn't," Jack crossed his arms, "she's one of the smartest people I know."

"I know, Wolfie," Ruggie smirked at his underclassmen's protectiveness, " I respect her as well but you gotta admit that even someone smart enough to defeat overblots without magic has got to be pretty blind to not see how everyone falls over their feet for her."

I forgot what would happen next which sucks because I actually really liked that one storyline I wrote in my head when I was tryingto fall asleep.

There was this other scene where Leona and Cheka are in the club and Cheka confused that Yuu doesn't get that she's being courted and Leona is the one explaining that humans and lionesses are different that I want to write out but I have a few WIPs that I feel really guilty not completing so I'll probably finish those first.

[alma-screenies]

i was so convinced chiaki and nozu were an actual couple that i forgot this was a level 5 anime

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just because you use your friends to transform it doesn't mean everyone does, jinpei

i love when people have braincells

he's not even wearing his helmet properly.

they are supposed to be fusions between onryo/yokai and a person, but in the case of chiaki, nozu and ranto it shouldn't be like that...?

ALSO, I DON'T BUY IT! wild boy, little kommander, t-dane, blue moon, ninetails and shishi-o sure, they seem a fusion of their parts alright, but clock lady??? kengo benimaru?????

earth walker also but i'm willing to forgive him because i think he's hilarious. you go, edgy tired catboy

later in the series the humans speak beside their hero forms as kind of... ghost representations? and it confuses me. also in a later episode we see jinpei controlling earth walker but mikettio isn't anywhere and the fact that emma merged with him did nothing at all. i'm so confused

i don't understand the jail thing because it's for failing but they never sent jinpei there until it was plot relevant. like jinpei keeps failing his exams but mataro and koma fail theirs ONCE and they need to go to jail. like. okay

AND THEY REALLY WERE SO MEAN TO HER BEFORE. AND NEVER APOLOGIZED. NOT EVEN AFTER THEY FOUND OUT IT WAS KUMAKO.

i will lie to myself and think he was written like this on purpose

(canon is also being really stupid about it)

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[howlingday]

tragic backstory (tm) au)

it's been a week since the events with a dragon and beyond the fact that everyone thinks he's a destined hero come again. and the fact that he now actually has an army and village to support himself and pay for all his gear (being a knight is pretty ballin) he really has one major complaint

WHY THE FUCK IS HE BETTER AT FIGHTING ON HORSEBACK THAN HE IS FIGHTING ON FOOT! ICHOR AND HIM HATE EACH OTHER WHY ARE THEY SO IN-SINK???

also his sword and lance (and armor) have been weirdly sturdy since he killed that dragon. but he's mainly upset about the whole better fighting on horseback thing

Hero From On High Horse

---------------------------------------------------

A king does not command when the sun will set, nor when the moon will rise. A king simply knows these that lie beyond his control and uses them to his advantage.

---------------------------------------------------

Yang: PFFFT! AHAHAHAHA! Look- Look at this one!

Ruby: Snrk! (Mocking) "He is duh chosen one as it was foretold by the scrolls!" AHAHAHA!

Jaune: Ugh... Could you guys please stop?

Pyrrha: (Rubs his back) Unfortunately, they can't. Nor can the hundreds of thousands of people on Remnant.

Nora: Whoooooooa! Hundreds of thousands! That's quite the kingdom, your majesty!

Jaune: Ugh, not this again.

Ren: Like it or not, there is a lesson in all of this.

Jaune: What, "Don't get caught on camera"?

Ren: There's that, and "Know your place."

Jaune: Wait, what?

Ren: Like it or not, you are the king, which means you must govern, rule, and dictate your resolve to your subjects. You're not just some student at Beacon Academy to the public anymore. You're their king.

Jaune: (Sighs) Yeah, I guess you're right. No point in trying to fight the hundreds of thousands of people who watched me.

Ruby: AHAHAHAHAHAHA! LOOK AT HIM!

Yang: PFFT! KEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH!

Jaune: Even if it is just two people voicing them right now...

---------------------------------------------------

Jaune: I hate you so much.

Ichor: (Sputters)

Weiss: Is that any way to talk to your mount, who bravely fought the dragon at your side?

Jaune: For the first half, sure, before he left me hanging out to dry the second I was tossed off!

Weiss: Well, you should have been more considerate of his safety.

Jaune: More considerate- OW! STOP BITING ME!

Ichor: (Snorts, Trots away)

Vas: (Sitting on the fence) You get a load of this guy? Can't even get a dumb animal to listen to him!

Fuentes: It is pretty pathetic. Hardly worth so much excitement for.

Jay: (Grumbles)

Shishi: While I am inclined to agree with your statements, gentlemen, the fact remains that the people believe he is their king. As it stands, we should treat him with the same respect we would any leader.

Shishi: That is, until he chooses to step down.

Ren: He won't.

Shishi: (Flinches)

Jay: (Stiffens in place)

Ren: Jaune may not be the most impressive person on Remnant now, but I have no doubt in my mind that he will become someone who exceeds all of our expectations.

Nora: Yeah! Even when I first showed, I had thought the Headmaster was playing a joke! But Jaune is definitely the king, so you should all bow down!

Pyrrha: Um, Nora...

Shishi: ...Until they put a crown his head, (Watches as Jaune is thrown off again, Turns) I will never bow to such a weak-willed boy so ill-suited to be king. (Walks away)

Fuentes: Agh! S-Sir, wait!

Jay: (Grunts, Follows)

Vas: Well, I guess that's my cue to boogie. Now, if you ladies want a real man-

Pyrrha: (Glares at him)

Nora: (Glares at him)

Vas: Uh, I'll be right over there! Guys, wait up! (Scampers off)

Jaune: (Trots over on Ichor, Gets off) Was that Team Savage?

Pyrrha: Yes, it was. They were out here watching you.

Jaune: (Sighs) Great. More people to watch my misery. Just what I needed.

Ren: It wasn't like that.

Nora: Yeah! I've never seen a horse stand on two legs for so long!

Jaune: What? (Turns)

Ichor: (On hind legs, Smashes hooves down)

---------------------------------------------------

Vas: Thanks for ditching me, guys! I thought I was gonna get skewered by Lady Invincible and then smashed by her dwarf bestie back there!

Shishi: If anything physical happened, your semblance would have saved you.

Vas: Yeah, sure, but what about my emotional damage? I got feelings, too, you know!

Jay: (Pats head)

Vas: Thanks, Jay. At least I can take comfort knowing I still got a chance with that cutie in the green dress- ARGH! AGH! JAY! STOP! ARGH! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY!

Fuentes: What do we do now, Captain?

Shishi: For now, we resume our studies. We are here to become huntsmen, after all.

Fuentes: And what about Jaune Arc, sir?

Shishi: Not to worry. There is an old adage my father taught me.

Shishi: "A true king can only be slain by an ever truer king."

---------------------------------------------------

Gillian: So what your plan?

Jax: We will attend Beacon as prospective students, and ask for a tour. As we are guided, we will locate our quarry and have them ally with us, securing support from beyond Vacuo when we are my King and Queen of Remnant.

Gillian: Will this plan work?

Jax: I cannot be certain, but unless they are both away from the school itself, I do not see us failing in the near future.

Gillian: I see. Excuse me, my brother.

Jax: You're not holding onto any second thoughts are you?

Gillian: No. Of course not. (Enters bathroom, Looks into the mirror) I hope you know what you are doing, Jax. (Looks to her scroll, Notices missed call)

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Taiyang: (Scroll buzzes, Answers) Surf's up, it's Hi Tai!

Yang: (Via scroll) Hey, Dad...

Taiyang: Hey, sweetie! Everything okay over there?

Yang: Dad, I... I went on that mission to Mallet.

Taiyang: Oh...

Yang: And some stuff happened.

Taiyang: Like that kid caught on the Atlas cameras?

Yang: Y-Yeah, that's... That's Jaune.

Taiyang: And is Jaune your boyfriend?

Yang: Daaaaad...

Taiyang: I'm just asking, sweetie. I'm not planning on doing anything bad to your boyfriend.

Yang: (Groans) Look, I... Something happened to me. I was fighting these rats, and there were more rats, and even more rats. Just rats... everywhere!

Taiyang: Sounds like a Hamlen. Nasty little guys. I'm glad you got out okay.

Yang: Uh, yeah, just a few cuts and burns.

Taiyang: Burns? You haven't been burned since... Well, since I can last remember before your semblance was unlocked.

Yang: Y-Yeah, about that. I... I kind of went sort of beyond what I usually go to with my semblance. Like, it felt like the air around me was burning, and I could really see that well. After I killed the rat things, I went after Ruby.

Taiyang: (Sighs)

Yang: Dad?

Taiyang: Yang, when you were, uh, "going to the next level," what were you thinking?

Yang: I was thinking... I was thinking about how sad everyone was going to be. About how I'd never get a chance to talk to any of you guys. Even... Even Raven.

Taiyang: Alright. I think I know what happened, but it might come as a shock to you, so I hope you're sitting down.

Yang: Uh, yeah. Why? What's going on?

Taiyang: Yang, I have one more question for you.

Taiyang: Have you ever heard of the Burns Tribe?

[wowbright]

Today was soooo stressful.

There were also moments of non stress.

Went birding with my old people. My friend X is one of the first people I met when I moved out here and spouse refers to him as "yo boy," a recognition of high friendship status in our household. Probably the most outgoing and friendly among the birding crowd around here. He's in his 80s now and started having in the past few years what the doctors diagnosed as seizures. He's on anti-seizure meds and he's losing sight in one of his eyes. He says his memory (mostly in the recall of facts) isn't what it used to be. He wonders if he's getting dementia but that hasn't been diagnosed and I kind of think (not a medical diagnosis) it's more likely to be depression. He's been pretty glum lately, really is not adapting well to the changes in his body and feels very limited by them, it doesn't feel like he can engage in most of his hobbies anymore. He can't drive anymore either because of his vision, his wife taxes him most places. He mostly goes birding for the social aspect, though he does seem to enjoy the easy finds like the larger water birds. (His vision issues make looking through binoculars hit or miss and he has given up on wearing his hearing aids when birding.) He said he recently went into the doctors for a rash, took one of those wellness surveys during the intake, and the first thing the doctor wanted to talk about was not about the rash but whether or not he had any guns in his house. (He doesn't.) He tells me he's not suicidal and doesn't have a suicide plan, but over the past few months he's expressed more than once that maybe he would be okay with dying already. I listen, and then he tells me a terrible birding joke.

He does get excited over the number of songbirds and ducks we see today. I am pretty happy with our sightings too. Canvasbacks!

I run some errands and on the way back in a 40 mile an hour zone with nowhere to pull off, my car starts acting wild. First thing I notice is that the defroster stops working. Then the radio cuts out. That I noticed that the brake light is on, even though the emergency brake is definitely not engaged (I check). I have forgotten where the switch for the hazard light is. The hand on the speedometer is waving wildly between 0 and 40 mph, even though I'm going at a steady speed. I find the hazard light switch, hit it, but nothing happens. I reach an intersection and turn onto a smaller road, but the power steering isn't working so it's a bit of a task, especially when the steering wheel momentarily freezes up completely in the middle of the turn. The car is moving but there's definitely some miscommunications going on between the gas pedal and the engine. I am on a less busy (but still busy) street, my goal is to get down far enough so that somebody turning right around the corner doesn't just hit my car, park in the right lane (there are two lanes in each direction) and turn on the hazards. BUT WAIT THE HAZARDS AREN'T WORKING. So I just keep going and hope I can pull into the next side street. I reach a side street, pull sideways into it. The side street goes uphill and the car does not have enough power to make a complete right turn or to go up that hill, so basically I am parked across one of the lanes. Fortunately it is a dead end street into a shishi residential neighborhood, and it's the middle of the day, so no one is trying to go in or out of it. Call my spouse who doesn't answer, call again, no answer, police officer stops and wants to help push the car to a safer place but that's a no-go. She also mentions that I probably should not sit in the car in case it gets sideswiped. (Oh yeah whoops.) Tow truck shows up after about 10 minutes, and it turns out that this really was a good street to pull into, because I only see one vehicle going in or out the entire time I'm waiting, and it has no issues going around my car.

Well, survived that! The car is back at the apartment along with the groceries that were in the trunk, but it's not going to run until we get it towed *again* to the repair place.

If only the alternator (we're assuming that's the problem) had waited two more months to crap out, because we'll be living in the city by then and could feasibly just not have a car at all. That won't work in the meantime though. Sigh.

[dangermousie]

Tencent press conference also released a bunch of posters and here are some that caught my eye for a variety of reasons.

As a poster it’s just heads but I am here for the chaos that will ensue from mashing a bunch of Jin Yong novels together in New Jin Yong Wuxia Universe. Is it going to be a disaster? Probably. Am I here for it? With bells on. PS hi Zhou Yi Wei and Vengo Gao and Peter Ho, at least no matter the content of this, my eyeballs will feast mmmmm

I don’t do moderns and thus have no interest in The Snowstorm of Love despite my fondness for both Wu Lei and Zhao Yinmai, but I had to post the poster because good god that poster is heinous and all I can think of is frostbite.

Zhuo Zhuo Feng Liu poster is a bit generic but in exactly the way I like - men in armor (with handsome horse in background), lady in court robes, forearm holding and staring, classics are classics. And it’s not swimming in pastels, already a win.

Have you guys ever been big into 1970s fantasy with those delightfully trippy covers? Because this is the vibe the poster is giving me and I love it. This is where the casting carousel of The Guide to Capturing the Black Lotus stops and we get Esther Yu and Ding Yuxi apparently and NGL I am loving that casting and that pairing for those characters.

The Wonderland of Love poster is as good as its trailer and its trailer was by far my favorite out of the entire tencent conference.

Liu Shishi’s Fox Spirit Matchmaker @aceinthetrap let me know is not FSM it’s a different drama (apparently called Love Beyond the Grave? Why am I thinking zombies and romantic poets in cravats?) looks beyond gorgeous. This is how you do it, people!

Tho if you got to go for cliches, you could do worse than Everlasting Longing which continues to push the sexy barbarian chief thing like everything depends on it, which I suppose for the drama it does. Luckily my main emoji on seeing it is 😍😍😍😍

God damn you! Hands off 1000 Miles of Bright Moonlight. I do not want an adaptation of this because they are going to ruin it utterly. They already ruined my n1 het web novel with the travesty that was the adaptation of Dreamer in the Spring Boudoir and now time to go for my second most favorite? Between censorship regulations and cdramas’ own narrative tendencies in recent years, they are just gonna do a terrible job, leave it alone pls.

I like this poster for Liu Shui Tiao Tiao because it’s not like anything else and is not drowning in pastels; it’s probably my favorite poster out of the entire conference.

Thanks to my dealer @aysekira who linked me to a bunch of these and, as always, a fun game of “how many of these will actually air? And in some reasonable timeframe?” starts now. Plus don’t ever air, 1000 Miles of Bright Moonlight, pls don’t ever even get made!