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lovelypham · 6 months ago

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ENHYPEN HYUNG LINE

prompt: how they react when you get jealous/insecure of them getting shipped with one of your group members by fans pairing:enha!hyung line X idol!fem!reader genre:fluff warnings: insecurities,self doubt,kissing,tad bit suggestive at hoon's part

hesseung (희승)

your relationship with Heeseung was one that was private, and that was due to crazy fans and the backlash you were more than sure you'd get if you ever decided to announce it

but as you kept scrolling through the comments under the video of your fellow member Karina,and your boyfriend doing the dance challenges for both of the groups comebacks you wished you could be able to risk it all and go public,but deep down you knew you'll only harm yourself and your image as well as heeseung's but both you and the fans couldn't help but notice how fit they were for eachother, how in sync they were, and how their visuals seemed flawless, perfect even

continue under the cut

you opened the comments once again

"they look so close to eachother, I bet they're dating"

"the way heeseung looks at karina in the bts video! omg i shipp🤭💓"

" karina is so classy,no wonder her and heeseung are dating they're so perfect for each other💓!!"

you knew that you shouldn't let these comments get to your head, but you couldn't help but feel insecure about your appearance, your dance, hell even the way you act!

you always knew that people preferred karina over you but it hurt so bad when your own managers who knew about your relationship decided to put the two people who have been getting shipped nonstop to do a dance challenge together, knowing extremely well that they'd spark dating rumors.

as if he read your mind, heeseung sent you a message saying

"hey baby, are you doing okay?"

even though it was a regular question he always asked it felt weirdly specific especially since you had texted him not too long ago.

you saw his icon pop up on your screen indicating an upcoming video call from him, you quickly wiped your almost dry tears and accepted the call

you saw heeseung's gorgeous face, and his sweet like honey smile appear on the little black rectangle that is your screen.

"hey heeseung" you began the conversation, he immediately knew something was up you never call him his full name unless something is making you upset

"hi baby,how are you doing" he trailed off,"I have seen better days" you mumbled "oh princess, is something bothering you? you know you can talk to me about anything right?" he suggested "yes hee I know I just don't want you to think that it's stupid" you hesitated " princess you know that's not true, I will never find anything you say stupid, now if you're comfortable then tell me what happened" he responded " I feel jealous" you whispered " m'sorry baby what did you say I didn't quite hear you" he softly replied

" I said I'm jealous"you replied with a slightly louder voice " jealous, of what baby, if you don't tell me I wouldn't know"he said,you let out a sigh before continuing

"I saw the video you did with karina and you guys look so perfect together, all the comments were shipping you with her, and I didn't want to tell you because I didn't wanna come off as insecure"you said with a slight shakiness in your voice, heeseung let out a sigh before softly replying "baby, I don't care how perfect fans think we look together, and how much they ship us, I see no one but you, I love you so much and I hope you know that, now do me a favor and stop looking at these comments I don't want you to worry your pretty little head, okay princess?" you squeaked back " I love you too heeseungie" with a slight smile on your face

jay (제이)

you loved it when jay and your members got along, it made you feel so happy seeing some of the most important people in your life interact freely with eachother without the cameras that seemed to follow you everywhere, engenes and fearnots knew about your relationship with jay and they had supported it since the very beginning always calling you the " it couple" or the " power couple"

but you didn't know how the sudden shipping of locals to yunjin and Jay happened, it made you feel weird knowing that non kpop fans had noticed the relation between your dear member and your bf, you weren't sure if it was the insecurities speaking but you noticed how similar they were , they had similar style, they listened to alot of mutual artists but you figured that was you impacting their taste in music

and lastly they both were mature and responsible.So when Jay came to your dorm with ni-ki and jake ,you took him into your room to talk to him, he looked confused 'cause you seemed fine speaking to him on the phone not too long ago. you both sat on your bed and he quickly took your hands in his once he saw you fiddling with them, a habit he noticed you did when you were nervous

the first thing you asked was "jay do you love me?" Jay furrowed his eyebrows and replied to you"of course baby I love you, why are you asking that?" you hesitated "uhmm I was just wondering you know?"you chuckled nervously you saw Jay put his serious face on and let out " are you sure princess, you never ask me that,tell me what's wrong" " nothing jay I told you" you said while slightly raising your voice as you took your hands out of his hold

" baby listen i know for sure it's not nothing okay? I want to be able to talk to you freely without making you feel uncomfortable so tell me what happened" you let out a sigh before looking up at him from your fiddling hands and told him "don't you think yunjin is a better fit for you? she's mature and older than me she takes responsibility of her actions meanwhile I'm just childish and everyone sees me as a baby no one ever takes me seriously and I'm never responsible"

jay softened his gaze and took your face in his hands "princess you know you're the perfect fit for me right? I feel in love with you since I first saw you at the HYBE carters games, I love you and I will never let you go okay, I don't care how childish people think you are but you'll always be my baby" he leaned closer and gave you a sweet and meaningful peck on your lips and he whispered to you" I love you" you put all your worries aside and replied" I love you more baby"

jake (제이크)

you were sitting in the makeup chair in your group's changing room when you overheard some of the staff gushing about how perfect Jake,and Belle , your member,were for eachother, pointing out there soft features that resembled those of an angel, you sighed loudly at their words that stung like a thorn in your heart, you knew that it was nearly impossible for you and Jake to reveal your relationship, but why where you so ready to risk it all and show the word that Jake was your man, the boy that you kiss and cuddle, well secretly of course

you knew your career would be on the edge if anyone were to find out, I mean you were newly debuted and Jake had a wide fanbase, but you couldn't help but feel helpless as you walked towards the inkigayo bathrooms looking for a distraction from the conversation you just heard,

you bumped into someone and who was it other than Jake himself ,he looked so handsome with his current outfit and you couldn't help but notice his puppy face light up when he saw you "baby, I was coming to get you" he said after double checking for any cameras or staffs "ahh really I thought you were still in your room niki told me earlier" you replied with a less excited tone "baby are you okay?, you look down" Jae trailed off "I'm fine just tired from the comeback" you gave him a small smile "aww baby don't worry it's our last day I'll treat you to dinner after this okay princess?" he said while holding your hands

"ok baby, uhmm I have to go now bye" you quickly removed your hands when you caught a glimpse of your group manager "okay bab-" he quieted down when you disappeared, Jake looked and felt confused you always tell him I love you when you say bye so why didn't you say it, "maybe it was because her manager came" jaeyun thought to himself

you had just finished your stage and enhypen were finished before you, you headed towards your changing room when you saw the same staff but this time they looked guilty, almost sulky? you were confused until you saw Belle coming your way and telling you that she came in to see the same two staff fan girling over her and Jake and she had told them that it was inappropriate to speak about such things during working hours especially infront of the idols themselves

she then hugged you and discreetly whispered in your ear "I already talked with jake about the matter and he told me you seemed off so now change your clothes, and go meet him in the parking lot okay?" she said and patted you on the back

you quickly ran towards the parking lot after you changed into your casual clothes, you spotted Jake waiting for you beside the company car while aimlessly scrolling on his phone

while panting you said to him "Jake, baby I'm really sorry I did that to yo-" he quickly shut you up by connecting your lips together and caressing your waist with one hand and holding your chin upwards with another he tilted your head to deepen the kiss and then pulled away with his forehead on yours "I love you so much baby" I love you too Jaeyun" you replied, breathless.

sunghoon (성훈)

you and everyone knew how perfect sunghoon and wonyoung were for eachother from their icy visuals to their classy vibe, but wonyoung was your member whom you loved so much and you never even once were jealous of their relationship knowing fairly well it was fan service and nothing more

but why did it feel bittersweet to see your bf and wonnie receiving best couple award at KBS when you stood at the side staring at them with a fake smile on your face, you let your insecurities take over you and that little voice in your head was telling you that wonyoung was better, she was prettier, more elegant, she was cute, she was funny, she always captivated people with her visuals,and that she was better than you at everything!

you couldn't handle the stares filled with pity from your members, leeseo came to your side and hugged you while you were going backstage and patted your shoulder, you then felt two very familiar muscular arms holding your waist and preventing you from going any further, you sighed and turned around to see sunghoon with his pretty little mole and pale skin he grabbed you towards a more secluded area and neared you towards him

he reached down to you level and kissed your lips, you took a moment to kiss him back but you eventually did so ,he then pulled away "baby ik you might be jealous of what just happened but I promise you your my one and only, I'll choose you again and again in every universe, you're so pretty, my girl" he said while pecking your lips again you couldn't help the smile that crept up on your face you slapped his muscular chest jokingly " I was supposed to be mad at you"you said while pouting at him

he chuckled teasingly and kissed you again but this time it was more heated, he took your face in his hands and brought his closer, you moaned at the feeling and you felt his tongue on yours,you both were fighting for dominance until you heard a gasp followed by a familiar voice that belonged to wonyoung saying "aigoo what did I do to see this ,whatever, _____ when you're done eating your boyfriend's face please come here we need to head back to our dorm" you looked up at sunghoon and said" I love you hoonie byee! "

" I love you too princess, make sure to call me when you arrive okay?" " yes hoonie mwah" you said while blowing a kiss he shook his head with a stupid smile on his face " aish this girl"

(a/n: haven't posted a fic in ages sorry,the jake and sunghoon parts are heavily inspired by didi aka @/enmi-land I miss didi :(( )

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whokilledjared · 10 months ago

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the sluttiest thing a man can do is be himself. (& takes on social media)

Hi.

I'm lonely.

The moment I got "two weeks off school" in sophomore year, life went to 4x speed & I can't turn it off no matter how hard I try.

Maybe COVID-19 adolescence did numbers on me. Somewhere between the iPhone 5c and ChatGPT, 14-hour screen times have live-streamed to me a steady, homogenous death of culture.

Nothing is cool anymore. Nothing is sacred. Every movement is a trend, and every cult classic a sequel.

The value we place on things being beautiful, on being "cool," and our gatekept appreciation of how hard these things were to find: it's been co-opted, or perhaps stolen. It's been stolen by the new merchant class. "Disruptors" and "innovators" turning our lives into a burgeoning black mirror prequel. Soon, we'll graduate too, and we'll wring every morsel of value in each others' lives dry for cash.

Plain and simple, I think we're being manipulated.

Your dates are an algorithm. Your music is a social signal. And Zuck knows when you sleep.*

God. What the fuck are we doing???

“Individuation is becoming the thing which is not the ego, and that is very strange.” — Carl Jung

Recently, I deleted Instagram. My first impulse was to post a story or something, announcing my departure. But then, I thought that would be lame.

I got rid of my account, too. Kinda. Over 1 year, over 800 followers removed, and what remains of me is a little grey icon, and "JM_0000000010" where my name and face used to be.

yay.

There were many people I wish I could have been friends with, but I wonder, too, why I find myself so drawn to the validation of others. Does social media affect me worse, or do we all just choose to ignore it, languishing in private?

At any rate, this last year has almost felt like re-learning how to be a human being.

Personally, I think one of the biggest markers for maturity is when you become willing to disappoint the people you know in favor of what feels right to you, when you start to unravel the stories you’ve told yourself (or been told) about who you are and what you should be. In short, the sluttiest thing a man can do is be himself.

And sometimes, I think about every college student that has ever lived. My grandmother, my dad, and so on. Just consider for a moment all kids who graduated before 2010:

What was it like for the ones in 1940? To walk around, before a campus had computers? In 2006: To meet someone pretty, but forget their number? In 1999: To cram into dorms, and watch Seinfeld live on-air?

Would I, like my dad in 1988, have braved cold night, brisk wind, & landline phone-call just to knock and see if my friends were too busy to hang?

What stories could I tell if there was even the slightest chance of getting lost on the way home from a party?

Humans are social creatures. We crave our friends like water. To me, the clearest difference between Dasani and Instagram is that one of them comes in a bottle.

Yet despite these distractions and comforts we have in 2024, somehow, we still have engineering students. People who carve out time in their day to sit down, look at paper, and solve differential equations. But then, that's not so hard, is it? It just takes time. Precious, fucking, time.

At Meta, leagues and leagues of these engineers power behavioral scientists, who are competing for the highest salary. Their benchmarks? Your FOMO. Guilt. Anxiety. Obsession. The worse you feel, the more you engage with their content. The more you engage with their content, well, you're starting to get the point.

Try something for me: Open up Instagram, but don't tap anything. What happens? How many little animations? How many tiny nudges prompting you to get lost? Our home-pages are billion-dollar diving boards, hoisting us over engineered catacombs of subconscious quicksand.

My homepage is my FOMO, my envy, and my crushes. The pain and struggle of trying to be someone who I am not. My little existential crises, bundled-up, packaged, and shipped with a like button.

To abandon your social networks entirely, however, requires a safety net of close friends. After all, your friends are online, and you'd be miserable without them.

This is the problem with our monkey brains. Millennia of sociological natural-selection have made us quite great at feeling terrible. We're damn good at making tribal status games to play with, too.

Seeking refuge in quirked up septum piercings and boygenius listeners, my time in counter-cultural, alternative "scenes" between St. Louis and Tampa has shown me that even the weirdest of folks and the most removed can accidentally find themselves reduced to nothing more than high-school popularity contests. Even if I love them. Even if they're amazing people. We're human.

We can't "quit social media" as much as we can't "quit bottled water" Sure, we can, but it's inconvenient. And even without a bottle, we're still drinking water.

So I lost touch with my friends. I got no new updates on their lives. I forced myself into the inconvenience of not having a phone to reach for in fleeting moments of boredom. Suddenly, I was out of the loop. Suddenly, I was bored. And suddenly, nobody missed me. My only friends were the ones I had the time to text. Everyone else ... does not exist.

Weekends have become more valuable than ever. Without the empty social calories of seeing my friends' pictures, I find myself planning hangouts as often as my schedule allows. I have more lunches, more study sessions, and more is done in the company of less.

And I have the time to breathe.

And in this calm, I think I found my answer: it's my misplaced ambition. These fears of anxiety and people I thought I would miss, they seem represent something I want to see more of within myself. Something I want to develop, lean into more deeply, as an individual. And I think that's quite normal; to look out into the world and feel attracted to things we want to see more of. This is, I think, how everyone develops their own definition of beauty — and of coolness. It's largely the intersection of what we find most interesting, and what we want to see more of in the world. Because beauty and coolness, by definition, are rare and hard to find. If they were everywhere, nothing be beautiful, nor would anything be cool.

When we all turn into wrinkles and cataracts, bad backs and heart attacks, for a brief, glorious moment, our lives are going to flash before our eyes. In this moment, you'll see your story. The ultimate progression of you.

How much of that will be skibidi toilet and reaction clips? How much of that will be arguing on the internet? Can you tell me, just how much of your life will you have skipped over to pacify your intentionally-lowered attention span?

That girl whose number you couldn't find Those passing questions over coffee that you couldn't search on Google The boredom of a subway ride

Those are not inconveniences, they're what the older generations refer to as "life."

* (oh, but if you can't sleep, consider this aside: Google knows the angle you walk at, how fast you're walking, and they've got crowdsourced pictures of everywhere around you at all times of the day. fun bedtime thoughts <3)

#scene #alternative #social media #social justice #instagram #college #coming of age #writing #blogpost #blog takes

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