#ship: you make all my screws come loose (sweet secrets)

[nxttheendxfthestxryarch2]

“I’m sorry, Kai. Please don’t think badly of them. They’re just unpleasant people, that’s all.“ - Kenna to Kai!

“It’s not right for anyone to talk about anyone like that,” Kai frowns a bit and glances at Kenna. “No matter what you say to make it funny or snarky or call them out, there’s no excuse for that kind of behavior.”

[script-nef]

How their relationship gets revealed (iii)

Characters: Akaashi, Oikawa, Sakusa, Tsukishima, Ushijima

Category: fluff

Akaashi Keiji

You’re a best-selling novelist and incredibly famous

Akaashi has been your editor for 3 years now

He’s such a hardworking and dedicated worker

You buy him a lot of presents and he does as well

Constant uploads onto social media with new gifts and meals together

Which happens a lot because you need constant feedback and reviews

And so your readers kind of ship you with him

Lightly, like “Y’all are cute together” and “I wish I have this kind of support”

They don’t actually think you’re together and also don’t want to force it on you

But little do they know that you’ve been dating for over a year now

Because Akaashi is:

1. Kind and caring 

2. Really hot/pretty 

3. The gentlest person you’ve ever met and 

4. Is incredibly professional and can separate work from personal feelings 

5. Just look at him

He confessed his feelings for you after your last book sold over a million copies

Because he was drunk after the celebration

But you also liked him and a new relationship was born

Mainly kept on the down low because it’s just easier

You and him both have meddling people around you

But feelings grew day by day

And you desperately want everyone to know your boyfriend is such a wonderful and amazing partner like scream it from the top of your lungs

And so a new book was made

In the dedications page, you wrote “To my other half, thank you for taking care and loving me”

Reader are surprised at the relationship update

But are super happy for you even though they don’t know who it is

The book is a really sweet and cute novel

Readers think it sounds kind of familiar for some reason…

And at the end of the book, it says “To Akaashi Keiji”

(Turns out it was loosely based on yours and his relationship)

The reading community is flipped and your book reaches bestsellers in record time

Oikawa Tooru

Oikawa comes to Japan for a match against the Schweiden Adlers

His return was met with thousands of fans and plenty of photographers and reporters

Every one of his fans were saying how much they love him and hope he wins

And tons of gifts are given left and right

He gives his ever-so charming smile and gracefully accepts them

An interviewer asks him what he missed most in Japan

He rattles off a list

“My family, my friends—Iwa-chan isn’t here though—Japanese food. There’s this wonderful ramen place in my hometown! I also have to see Mattsun and…”

The reporter smiles and nods to his replies

His fans are screaming how they’ll buy anything he wants in the background

He thanks them but that just makes them scream louder

Then his face goes soft, like he’s remembering a really happy thing

“...but I missed [Name]-chan the most.”

The reporter’s eyes widens along with all his fan’s

Even hardcore, and I mean hardcore, fans didn’t know about this

“They’ve been supporting me so much and it’s been ages since my last visit… I just want to see and hug them.”

His small smile is so full of love and affection, even a blind person could see he’s in love

They had zero idea he was in a committed relationship

Most of his fans scream that they hope he has a good relationship

(He ignores the ones that are shrieking“No!”)

Photos of you with him are uploaded after he wins against Schweiden Adlers 

He’s smiling like the sun in every single one of them

Sakusa Kiyoomi

Sakusa hates interviews and reporters

Because they keep sticking microphones, which is covered with theirs and everyone else’s germs, into his face

And expect him to be polite when he’s so uncomfortable

So he has a reputation for being a little (read: extremely) difficult for post-match interviews

Nearly everyone had given up

And then all of a sudden, he’s actually civilised in interviews

Like, answering questions and even smiling a little

Everyone’s thinking 

“Is he okay?” 

“What’s happening?” 

“Oh god he’s finally lost it after being in a team with 3 crackheads #PrayForSakusa2020”

In reality, it’s because you’re the one interviewing him

He doesn't want to do it for anyone else, but you insisted that he has to

And now he responds to other reporters as well (albeit incredibly unwillingly)

But he only smiles for you

Fans start noticing after 3 – 4 interviews

“Is it me or is Sakusa really nice when that reporter asks him” 

“No I noticed as well” 

“DOES HE LIKE THEM ASDISJDW IS MY BOY IN LOVE” 

“WHY IS EVERYONE DATING OR IN LOVE WHEN I’M SO ALONE”

After a match, you finish a live report which people can chat on (just say there is one)

It’s in a sheltered place so currently not a lot of people are around

And he doesn't walk away, just keeps standing there

He thinks the camera is off now, and so do you

But is isn’t it’s still on and going live

You’re about to pack up and walk away

But a small tug stops you

It’s Sakusa and the people are going wild because holy shit, is Sakusa actually touching someone??? Our clean freak?? Are my eyes deceiving me??

You take his hand (“What the hell?”) and softly ask “Kiyo? What’s wrong?” (“DID THEY SAY KIYO UGH CARDIAC ARREST”)

He mumbles about how he doesn’t want you to talk to his teammates, even for the sake of interviews (“IS SAKUSA JEALOUS??? OUR DETACHED BOY???”)

You giggle and ruffle his hair, kissing him over the mask (“I AM FAINTING CALL 119”) while saying you need to do your job

And then look over to the cameraman

Whose jaw is on the floor

And you can see the red blinking light from the camera

“Ah, shit”

Tsukishima Kei

His teammates (*cough* Koganegawa *cough*) outed him on social media

You were working overseas and came back after months

The day coincided with a practise match, but Tsukishima was able to excuse himself

So you’re having the time of your life with your saltTM

He’s actually a really nice and sweet boyfriend underneath all that salt and sass

Even made a date course to explore the city

Had a good lunch and some strawberry shortcake in his favourite bakery

You enjoy it immensely, so he was smiling secretly

But then his phone starts blowing up for some reason

When he checks it, there are thousands of questions flooding his messages and social media

Turns out Koganegawa slipped up

He was doing an Instagram Live and when someone asked where Tsukki was

Did he come up with a good excuse?

Nope, he immediately said “Oh, he’s out on a date!”

Everyone’s confused because our salt has a partner?? Since when??

And then he realises he screwed up, especially with how private Tsukki is

The only thing stopping the exposed boy from returning to the gym and throwing hands with the setter is you

You kept saying it’s fine and it’s okay

He reluctantly gives up on planning his revenge (not really though)

You distract him enough to go to the museum he’s going to be working at

And he later uploads a photo of you from behind while you’re reading a dinosaur’s description

(And a separate one where Koganegawa is in a dogeza pose)

Ushijima Wakatoshi

Schweiden Adlers won another match

Ushijima answers interviews, like he does every match

One particular reporter asks the root of his energy and passion

They expected an answer like “thirst for success” or “pride and honour” or something along those lines

But he smiles softly, which breaks everyone watching because they have never seen that before

But the next thing breaks them even more

He says “[Name], my spouse.”

His teammates knew about you but not everyone else

People are spitting their drinks out and absolutely flabbergasted

Even his own teammates because he didn’t seem like the person to say that

He says it’s your first anniversary as a married couple

But he’s overseas so he can’t be with you today

Says that he sent a present and he hopes you’ll like it

Then bows and just walks away to change

Like he hasn’t said the most scandalous thing since the start of his career

Tons of articles and Twitter posts are made about him and this new revelation

To the point where it’s trending #1

He doesn’t care though, and you really don’t either

It wasn’t that big or important of a secret

He just didn't mention it up to now because he didn’t see the need

He doesn’t have to publicise the extent of his love for you because you already know that

The present was a brand-new, top of the line laptop along with a new phone

The same brand as his (awww couple items)

So that he can FaceTime/video call you with HD quality

His teammates have to listen to him being sickeningly cute every night now

And complain about it on interviews 

#BestHusbandUshijimaWakatoshi starts trending

[lordsister]

Method of Teasing (Motonari Mouri x MC)

A/N: So this is going to have chapters for Mitsuhide, Kenshin, and Mitsunari too because wow, people like this a lot more than I thought they would. Which is amazing and makes me so happy!^^

Previous chapters--> Nobunaga, Ieyasu

Thank you @thetwinkims for beta reading! And hope you enjoy it @odissey061!

I do not own Ikemen Sengoku or any of its characters. I do, however, own the plot of this fanfic.

My ko-fi:  https://ko-fi.com/lordsister (please consider donating if you enjoy my work!^^)

He knew he was teasing her, the handsome bastard. He thought he could get her flustered with those tight pants and his fine ass and those smirks he sent over his shoulder at her when he caught her staring?

Well, he was damn right!

This wasn’t fair at all. Unlike most men of the Sengoku period who wore a kimono or hakama pants or other loose-fitting trousers, Motonari stood out in his form-fitting apparel, the material clinging to his muscled legs and leaving little to the imagination when it came to outlining his sculpted rear. Because that’s the only word she could use to describe it - sculpted. 

While she was more than appreciative of her lover’s physique, MC didn’t know how much more of his teasing her heart could stand. How was it that she had fallen in love with the only man in the Sengoku period who wore pants like those? Or maybe that was one of the big things that had first attracted her? She didn’t know anymore.

“Liking the view, sweetheart?” a familiar, sultry voice asked from above. Blinking, she shook her head only to realize that she had zoned out while staring at the very object of her thoughts as Motonari climbed one of the many rope ladders used to adjust the sails. “Aw, don’t be shy. It’s all yours.” 

The sensation of her cheeks lighting up was becoming uncomfortably familiar. “Motonari! Don’t say stuff like that out in the open!” As if her blush wasn’t bad enough, her voice came out as more whining than scolding, only adding to her embarrassment. Groaning, she turned around on her heel and covered her flaming face with both hands.

A heartbeat later, there was a thud on the planks next to her as her lover let go of the rope and dropped to his feet beside her. She was sure he looked amazing doing it, damn him. MC had no choice but to look at him as he settled one hand on her hip while the other grabbed her wrist, tugging her hands away from her face.“And why not, love? It’s not like it isn’t true. And everyone around here certainly knows it.”

God, the look he was giving her was the visual definition of ‘rogue,’ red eyes narrowed teasingly and lips curved up in a delicious smirk. She couldn’t decide if she wanted to smack that look off his face or kiss him breathless.

“B-Because it’s embarrassing…” she trailed off, attempting to avert her gaze only to have a finger under her chin draw it back. 

“How can I help myself when you look so cute with your cheeks all red like that?” Before she could protest, his lips captured hers in a chaste kiss that somehow managed to leave her breathless in typical Motonari fashion. “You look even cuter all kissed like that.”

‘Screw it.’ Grabbing his lapels, MC pulled him into a longer, more passionate kiss, allowing his strong arms to tug her flush against him. “What am I going to do with you?” she panted against his lips when they parted long moments later, frowning at him. 

“I don’t know.” Hands grasped sensuously at her sides and his nose brushed hers, red eyes glancing at her kiss-reddened lips. “Love me forever? Kiss me again? Take me down to our cabin and have your way with me?” 

“All of the above.”

His smirk widened. “I was hoping you’d say that.”

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‘Damn him!’ she thought, even as she stroked her fingers through his snowy locks and gazed down at him with undeniable love in her gaze. The soft smile on his face as he slumbered away with his head on her chest and his arms wrapped around her made her heart melt, it was so sweet and affectionate, so different from the pirate’s usual hardness. 

The reason behind MC’s internal cursing was the fact that she had been rendered weak under his teasing again. As much as she enjoyed the fruits of his teasing, she felt that he was more than due to receive some teasing in return. How though? More than half the time she ended up a blushing mess, helpless under his charms as he wooed her relentlessly. If she was going to tease him and win at it, she had to do something he wouldn’t expect, something that would render him just as flustered as she was when he caught her staring earlier-

Wait. 

Her hand came to a halt in his hair, her eyes flying open to focus on the ceiling planks above her. Would that work? As far as she knew, he wouldn’t expect it, not from her. Maybe it would be enough to leave him flustered too? On second thought, it was Motonari she was talking about. She had only seen him flustered a few rare instances and having his ass smacked probably wasn’t going to add to that short list.

Even so...it was worth a try. And even if he wasn’t surprised, she would probably enjoy his reaction anyway. 

Pressing her smile into her lover’s hair, she tried not to giggle too loudly as she cuddled him. She loved Motonari so much, loved seeing the new expressions and sides of him that appeared with each new experience they shared, and she couldn’t wait to see how he reacted when she gave him a taste of his own medicine.

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For the next few days after MC thought of the idea to tease him, she did her best not to give any of what she was planning away, easier said than done considering how observant he was, particularly when it came to her. She tried to keep her eyes from lingering on him, focusing on whatever was on hand instead, but she could tell her lack of attention was starting to annoy him. 

“Whatcha thinking, princess?” Motonari asked from his place at the wheel as she sat against the rail a few paces away, mending clothes and supply bags. 

Looking up, she smiled at him, trying to keep her expression from giving too much away as he peered at her from the corners of his eyes. “Not much. Why do you ask?”

His gaze slid back to the horizon, adjusting the course of the ship as the wind changed imperceptibly. “You’ve been quiet lately. Distant.” He turned back to her again, searching red eyes watching her as he kept one hand on the wheel. “Is something wrong?”

“No.” Unless you counted lying in wait to spring a naughty prank as “something wrong.” 

The Motonari she knew now really was so different from the rough, near-mad sea dog she first encountered. Before, he wouldn’t have cared a bit about such a subtle change in her behavior, would have brushed it off as long as she was still breathing and useful. She counted herself lucky to have gained his affection and learned of this new side to him. 

Gesturing to a crew member to take his place, Motonari strode over and crouched before her, taking her chin in his hand. “You know to tell me if something is wrong though.” It was more statement than question, a repetition of something he had made clear early on in their relationship.

“I know and I will.” Banishing thoughts of her prank for now, MC reached up to lace her fingers through his calloused ones. “Don’t worry, Motonari. I’m perfectly okay.” Maybe she was trying too hard not to be obvious, but truthfully she was really excited to try out what she had in mind. She hadn’t meant to worry Motonari though, and she leaned into his touch, trying to convey that she was alright and how grateful she was for his care.

“If you say so, I’ll trust you.” The hand she held suddenly tugged her to her feet, the fabric and sewing box in her lap falling to the deck as he led her down the wooden steps and towards the lower decks.

“Motonari? Where are we going?” 

“To find some food. I’m hungry and I know you are too.”

She could tell he was still trying to fix whatever was or wasn’t wrong the best way he knew how - by taking care of her basic needs - and it warmed her heart to know he was that invested in her mental and physical wellbeing. It made part of her want to tease him even more than before, to show him she could stand toe to toe with him on this too.

Leaning closer to him and returning his smile, she could barely wait to see how he reacted to what she had in store for him.

The big question, she realized, was whether she should pull her stunt in front of his crew or when they were alone together. He had always been openly affectionate with her in front of his men, but he hated appearing weak or vulnerable in front of them too. She probably spent too much time deliberating over it, but eventually she decided to do it out in the open. He was always teasing her in plain sight. It was only fair she do the same.

A few more days of waiting and there he was again, looking as magnificent as always in the sunlight as he went about ordering his crew around. It was distracting as usual, but now it made MC more nervous than before, making her fidget in place as she tried to figure out what to do with her hands. How should she hold them when she was planning on using them to smack her boyfriend’s ass?

“Oi! Are you listening to me, princess?” 

Blinking, she found her vision filled with Motonari’s frowning face a few mere inches from her own, his hands on his hips as he bent down a little to meet her gaze. “Ah, sorry. I guess I got distracted there.”

“Hmm?” Straightening, he smirked that smirk that told her teasing was about to come. “Admiring me again?”

Instead of denying it this time, she smiled secretively and said, “...Maybe.”

A fine white eyebrow lifted in delight and he tilted his head to the side. “Oh? Admitting it now?”

Meeting the playfulness in his eyes in turn, she answered, “Well, you did say it was mine after all, didn’t you?”

A few wolf whistles and low exclamations of amusement came from the crew members within ear shot, a couple of them shooting wide grins and winks her way as their captain spun on his heel to face them, turning his back to her.

“Hey! Back to work, all of you-ah!” Her hand bounced off the firm muscle of his butt and his head snapped around as the smack resounded in the air, instantly making the deck grow quiet as crew members’ jaws dropped.

The vulnerable look of surprise on his face was something she had seen only a handful of times before, an expression he made when he was well and truly caught off guard. It made her feel more triumphant than she thought it would. A smile very much like his own stretched her lips as he stared down at her, baffled. Another second later, the deck erupted into hearty guffaws and whistles, other crew members emerging from parts of the ship to see what the commotion was about. 

Motonari ignored it all, a wild light in his eyes as he licked his lips and advanced on her. She had honestly never seen him so riled up before. “My princess is feeling playful, huh?” Wrapping an arm around her as his other hand dove into the hair at the back of her head, he tilted her head up to his, his breath fanning against her face as he husked, “I like that,” before his lips attacked hers and all chaos broke loose.

Needless to say, she was much more liberal with her teasing after that.

[kprciffdw]

Kim Possible: The Extremely Secret Files-Part 3

In much time, they worked on the modifications to the shuttle. During the work in progress, Kim and Ratchet would often trade glances with one another, with each time either smiling or timidly stare at each other before looking away; sometimes, it was both. Ron and Clank took notice of this occurring repeatedly and both became gradually concerned for their friends.

They eventually came close to finishing the last of the modifications. Ratchet: "Well, the modifications to this shuttle are almost complete but I have to admit, the work we have done really has been quite spectacular, so far. Even you were a big help, Ron. Tightening up those nuts and bolts really played a vital role in…holding things together." Ron: "Uh, no problem, Ratchet, I just still need to work on a few…WAH!"

Ron fell off of a large platform that he was on, but got his pants caught on a tether from the platform as he hung upside down. Kim, Ratchet and Clank looked up as Ron hung there. Ron: "Uh…don't mind me…just…a few screws loose…"

He was about to fall out of his pants, but grabbed them very quickly. Ratchet: "You've got that right with "a few screws loose"." Kim: "Will someone please help him?" Clank: "Do not worry, I will take care of this."

Clank hovered upward towards Ron. Ratchet: "OK, enough fooling around, everyone. There's still work that needs to be done." Kim: "Yes, we can't stop now, guys, not when we're so close to getting to Drakken and Shego and taking back my dad's space station, so let's keep at it."

Ratchet was about to walk off. Kim: "Oh, and Ratchet?"

He stopped to turn around and looked at Kim. Ratchet: "Yeah, Kim?" Kim: "I…I wanted to thank you for helping us out. You didn't really have a reason to get yourself involved in any of this, but I'm glad you did." Ratchet: "It was no problem. I'm always happy to help those in need, Kim…or rather…Ms. Possible?" Kim: "Please, call me Kim or better yet, you can address me by my real name: Kimberly." Ratchet: "Kimberly? That's a beautiful name."

Ron and Clank stood beside each other and watched as Kim and Ratchet were having their moment. Ron: "Uh…Clank? Are you seeing all of this?" Clank: "Hm…yes, I have observed this several times during the gradual progression of the modifications. This is quite odd, do you not agree?" Ron: "Hm, I would think so; Kim never lets anyone call her by her real name. Do you know what this could mean?" Clank: "Perhaps they have developed a strong, mutual fondness for one another." Ron: "You mean they like each other? Like…really like each other?" Clank: "Most likely yes." Ron: "Um…OK…this IS weird." Clank: "Well, I find this to be rather sweet, actually."

Rufus popped out of the pocket again. Rufus: "Aw, Kim and Ratchet." Ratchet: "OK, seriously, we need to get back to work. We still have so much more to do." Clank: "Yes, let us get on it." Kim: "Uh…Yes, we should…do that." Ron: "Alright, soon enough, we will be able to face off against Dra-AHH! KIM! LOOK!"

They looked up and noticed the shuttle being lifted off of the floor by a tractor beam. Ratchet: "What is going on!?"

They then heard maniacal laughing. They looked towards another direction, a serious look grew on Kim's face. Kim: "No! Drakken!"

Sure enough, there was Drakken and Shego standing on a floating platform, holding the shuttle in a tractor beam. Drakken: "Kim Possible! We meet again." Ratchet: "So, you're the ones who stole Kimberly's dad's project!" Shego: "Aww, how adorable; Kimmie and her dumb sidekick made friends with some space rat and a toy robot." Kim: "Their names are Ratchet and Clank!" Ratchet: "And don't either of you forget it! We're going to help Kimberly and Ron take back that space station you stole!" Drakken: "Oh, but not without this space shuttle, you're not." Clank: "And just what do you plan to do with that Earth shuttle?" Drakken: "Why, simple, robot man. I'm going to tear the ship into many pieces and then spread them all throughout…another galaxy! (laugh)" Ratchet: "You won't get away with this, Drakken!" Drakken: "Oh, I wouldn't count on that…eh…strange…cat-like…lion-tailed…creature. Shego, what kind of animal is that…uh…animal?" Shego: "Beats me, I just call him a space rat, assuming he is a he." Kim: "Yes HE is and he's a Lombax!" Ron: "An undocumented alien species." Shego: "Hmph! Whatever, space rat sounds much more familiar." Kim: "Shego!" Drakken: "Farewell, Kim Possible! The next time we meet, I will have already become ruler of the Earth!" Shego: "Buh-bye, Kimmie and same to you, Ratchet."

They warped out with the shuttle while Drakken laughed maniacally.

For a few moments, they all stood around idly, in shock of what took place. Ron: "So…is that it? Is it all over?" Ratchet: "No, this isn't over. I'll fly my ship out towards them and then…" Kim: "No, Ratchet…it's no use, we won't stand a chance against them, not now, at least. We'll need to come up with another plan."

Kim pulled out the Kimmunicator. Kim: "Wade, do you read me?" Wade: "Yeah, Kim, what's up?" Kim: "Uh, we have a problem. Drakken and Shego just stole my dad's shuttle, so now…our mission just got even more difficult." Wade: "Oh, no, that's not good." Ratchet: "We can still go after them! I'll just take my ship and…" Wade: "I don't think that's a good idea, Ratchet." Ratchet: "What? Why not?" Wade: "I just got finished with analyzing the ISSF and…the technology on it is far more advanced than even I would have expected. The weaponry and defense system are far beyond anything I could have imagined. Sorry, Ratchet, you wouldn't stand a chance against it." Clank: "There must be something we could do." Wade: "With the modifications you guys made on the shuttle, bringing down that space station would be doable." Kim: "But Drakken stole it from us and now he's planning on breaking it apart and spreading the pieces throughout another galaxy." Ratchet: "Do you think you could track down those pieces and find which galaxy they're being sent to?" Kim: "What he said." Wade: "I'm on it. By the way, Kim, your dad's been wanting to talk to you; he seems very concerned. Should I put him on the line for you?" Kim: "(sigh) Yes, Wade, put him on."

Wade was able to display Dr. Possible on the screen. Dr. P.: "Kimmicub! I'm so glad to see you. How's the mission going?" Ratchet: "Kimmicub?" Kim: "Um…well…how should I put this? We were attacked by the space station after we managed to find it and we were forced to stop at a nearby space cruiser. But then after all of what we have been doing here…Drakken and Shego…they stole your shuttle." Dr. P.: "What? Well…that's unfortunate. Can you at least still make it home?" Kim: "Dad, least of our worries. I can't stop Drakken and Shego without that shuttle, much less get back your space station." Dr. P.: "Yeah…that is a problem." Kim: "But there is some good news. Ron and I met a few aliens out here in space. Here, let me introduce you to them."

Kim held the Kimmunicator in front of Ratchet again. Kim: "Dad, this is Ratchet. He's been helping us since we arrived here." Ratchet: "Um…hello…Dr. Possible. It's…great to meet you. Your daughter is…uh…very…interesting."

She then held the Kimmunicator in front of Clank. Kim: "And this is his friend Clank." Clank: "Hello, good sir, it is very good to finally meet you."

Kim pulled the Kimmunicator back in front of her. Kim: "Ratchet saved me and Ron from another one of Dr. Drakken's deathtraps. He and Clank would like to continue helping us out." Ratchet: "We will get your space station back, Dr. Possible. You can count on that." Clank: "By the way, were you not informed by Wade about what he has discovered about your space station and space shuttle?" Dr. P.: "Don't worry about that, Clank. Wade has already told everything so…I know. Alien technology; I couldn't believe all of that was what I've been using to build my own designs. I wonder if…they knew about this." Kim: "They? Who are you talking about?" Dr. P.: "Uh, nothing, I'll have to look into this. Kimmicub, just focus on getting back my projects. And Ratchet?" Ratchet: "Yes, sir?" Dr. P.: "Look after my daughter and thank you for everything you have done for her so far. I expect you to keep at it." Ratchet: "Of course, Dr. Possible, I'll do what I can." Kim: "We'll stay in touch and brief you on our progress. It will be a very long mission, but we won't stop until it is done." Dr. P.: "Just don't stay out there any longer than you need to be and be sure to come home safely."

The Kimmunicator switched back to Wade. Wade: "Hey, Kim, I just received a signal on your dad's shuttle." Kim: "Did you find where Drakken has taken it?" Wade: "I have. He seems to have taken it to a far off galaxy that's just next to where you are. I just found out something else; I checked the flight path of that large cruiser you're on and it's heading towards that same galaxy." Ratchet: "What? Dr. Drakken's taken that shuttle to the Bogon Galaxy?"

Ratchet started cracking up. Kim: "It seems like the joke's on him. Ratchet will be taking care of a mission of his own in that galaxy. Looks as though we will be helping each other out with our missions." Wade: "Be careful out there, you guys. Drakken will find out about this and he'll make every attempt he possibly can to stop you." Kim: "I know that but we will stop him, no matter what."

Within approximately 2 weeks, they arrived within the Bogon Galaxy. Ratchet had donned a new outfit, Kim was back to wearing just her mission clothes. Ron and Clank stood beside each other while looking at both Ratchet and Kim. Ron was also in his mission clothes. Ratchet: "OK, I just received Intel from Mr. Fizzwidget about…"

Ron began snickering again, Ratchet looked at him tensely. Ron, noticing Ratchet's annoyed stare, stopped snickering. Ron: "Sorry, it's still a funny sounding name." Ratchet: "So…anyway, I have intel from him about the thief's whereabouts. Kimberly and I will head out there now."

Kim pulled out her Kimmunicator. Kim: "Wade, let me know if you have found any of the pieces of my dad's shuttle during the mission." Wade: "Got it! I'm locating all of them as we speak. I will let you know where they are as soon as I can." Ron: "And while you guys do that, Clank, Rufus and I will be chilling out at that sweet, new penthouse on that metropolis planet."

Rufus popped out of Ron's pocket Rufus: "Oh, yeah!" Clank: "I am also looking forward to this." Ratchet: "Alright, we're all set. Let's get going, Kimberly."

Ratchet walked off. Kim: "We'll see you later, you guys. Enjoy your time off." Ron: "See ya, KP. Have fun on your mission, er, missions." Clank: "Do not go off doing anything, uh, inappropriate, you 2. (giggle)"

Kim looked at Clank in an annoyed and somewhat confused manner then walked off after Ratchet. Kim and Ratchet left the cruiser on Ratchet's ship, Ron and Clank left on another shuttle. Nearby, Shego, in another ship, noticed both ships leaving the cruiser and tailed Ratchet's ship from a distance far enough away for her to not be noticed.

[mtvswatches]

Wynonna Earp 2x12 I Hope You Dance

Click here for previous recaps!

Stray thoughts

1) Waverly confronts Bobo and the widows, certain that Bobo won’t hurt her. He admits he might not, but he won’t help her either. In an uncharacteristically honest moment, he admits that caring about her has only brought him pain. Waverly quips that no one said parenthood was easy. And I’M FREAKING OUT? IS THIS HER WAY OF CONFIRMING BOBO IS HER FATHER?!

2) Thankfully, Wynonna arrives on time, but Peacemaker is completely useless now that the seal is broken and this MOFO is waking up…

Shit is about to go down and I’M NOT READY. I’m really curious to see what Clootie looks like, though, I feel he’ll look something like the Master.

3) The sisters take a breather before all hell breaks loose, and I appreciate it…

You know what else I appreciate? Wynonna’s top priority – making sure Doc is not dead.

4) Well, Dolls is not dead, which is good, but not the answer I was expecting.

5) I truly appreciate the brief moment of levity…

6) So, this is what she had figured out before she went poof…

7) Wynonna is terrified that Doc might be dead now that the ring is broken. I’m Jeremy, btw.

8) I’m sorry, but is there anything more badass than trying to save the world while you’re about to give FUCKING BIRTH?!

9) WTF! Clootie is going to have Wynonna’s baby for dessert???!!

10) Oooh, I kind of saw this coming but I didn’t want to get my hopes up!

MERCEDES: Actually, I want a separation.

MERCEDES: Chopped my way into the 21st century. The world has changed. Hell, look at Wynonna Earp. She is 10 times the gunslinger Wyatt ever was and he put Bulshar in the ground! I want that ring!

I’m really into this new form of empowerment? Evil ladies also need to break free from the misogynistic ties to their evil lords. You go, Glenn Coco! Or Elsa, I guess…

She just took off and buried Bobo, Clootie and her sister. Does this mean that the season’s Big Bad was Mercedes all along? And not Clootie! Damn, I really love that plot twist!

11) The Iron Witch says the plate only works as a shield, and these two badass motherfuckers are not having it…

Can they look any more badass?! And I really wish they had allowed Wynonna to say fucking!

12) Dolls finds Doc at his home…

He’s having an existential crisis over being mortal and he’s basically contemplating suicide. And I almost believed he couldn’t take not being ageless anymore, but it was the possibility of living a mortal life in a Wynonna-less world that was pushing him over the edge because the second he heard she was still alive…

It’s like his soul returned to his body… and now he’s willing to die but for an entirely different reason, and I swear to God, I choked up during this whole scene. Does that make sense? Am I an idiot?

13) I guess there’s no better time for confessions than when facing the possibility of absolute and total obliteration. In a few seconds, Waverly breaks the news to Wynonna that Nicole is married and that she’s not Wynonna’s sister. Wynonna’s reply is quick and certain…

A lot of emphasis is placed on the bloodline in this show, considering the whole hereditary curse. But nothing as volatile as blood would ever get in the way of Waverly and Wynonna. They are sisters if ever sisters there were.

I truly love how there was no hesitation. At the same time, I wonder if the lack of hesitation means Wynonna had considered this possibility before?

14) Okay, Wynonna literally has one shot to kill Clootie, get rid of the Widows, and break the curse. Cool. Cool cool cool cool.

15) Jeremy and Nicole are having this super sweet moment…

JEREMY: And, uh, I stay because I don't fit in here. But none of you ask me to. I'm allowed to be me. NICOLE: You're part of the family. And being part of the family means...

AND THEN THIS FUCKING ELSA FROM HELL BURST INTO THE ROOM AND NEARLY GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK…

And please don’t tell me that we’re using the “put Nicole in peril” schtick again! And we’re adding Jeremy into the mix! Just great!

16) THE BABY IS FUCKING COMING AMIDST ALL THIS DEBACLE!

17) I’M FUCKING DEAD.

She’s my queen, I love her, I’d sell my soul for Wynonna Earp, I’ve said it.

18) Oh, the other McBitch just arrived and is threatening Waverly while Elsa says Wynonna is the weapon she’s been looking for, and what the fuck is going on?

19) Wynonna’s sigh of relief and barely noticeable smile when she sees Doc is alive, though…

I leave for these moments.

20) NOT THESE FUCKING MOMENTS, THOUGH! WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY DOING?!

21) UGH THESE TWO MOTHERFUCKERS ALMOST GOT ME!

Two birds, one stone. These two! They could convey their plan using a code they could only understand! Why aren’t they together?!

But there’s still Clootie and Bobo, right…

And the baby is coming…

22) Ugh the fire-assholes have shown up, they offed Wynonna’s doctor and they’re coming after the baby!

23) WHAT’S THE FUCKING PLAN? WHAT WILL THEY DO WITH THE BABY? IS NICOLE GOING TO TAKE THE BABY AWAY? They’re talking about crossing the triangle…

24) WTF ROSITA!!!!!!!

THIS FUCKING EPISODE DOESN’T LET UP!

25) Bobo has gone Spike…

So Clootie or Bulshar or whoever sucked something out of Bobo and Bobo offered up Waverly as the Big Bad’s new bride WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!

26) Great. JUST FUCKING GREAT.

27) Oh, thank god, something worked out!

Wynonna basically willed Peacemaker into accepting Waverly as an Earp!

28) Brendan Fehr is saying that Wynonna is going to corrupt the baby and screw it up and I’m like… Brendan Fehr, I was rooting for you!

29) Damn, Dolls!

At least they died in their element. Get it?

30) When you try to come up with a good comeback and you just…

31) I guess I’ll just have to get used to Bobo never being back for more than two episodes…

32) I’m not crying, you are…

I'm the Earp heir. They're always coming for me and everything I love. I don't want to. I didn't realise how much I wouldn't want to. You're the coolest thing I ever did. You're going to have it much better than me. I promise.

And Waverly is taking the baby away and Wynonna is asking her to make sure that Doc gets a moment with him and I’m here, dying.

33) Waverly and the baby just crossed over the border and neither of them burnt, which means that the baby is Doc’s and the revenants don’t have any claim over it. But what does this mean for Waverly? Whose daughter is she, then?

34) Wynonna just offed the whole gang of revenants, but it doesn’t really feel satisfying at all when her baby is being sent away minutes after being born…

35) Did Jeremy just used Waverly and Nicole’s ship name?! HE FUCKING DID!

36) Perry is taking the baby as a way to thank Wynonna for saving his life. Cool dude.

37) And now Doc is meeting the baby and I WON’T SURVIVE THIS SHIT!

I CAN’T BREATHE. EVERYTHING HURTS.

38) Bobo just got a holiday for one in the well, and he admits that he never said Waverly was his daughter, just kin. I repeat, what does this mean for Waverly? Who is her father? Doc confesses that when Dolls shot him, he was sent to hell. It remains to be seen how long he was there - if it was a few hours or a few centuries, and what impact this will have on him…

39) Wynonna named the baby after both of their mothers and I’m a mess…

This is not the happy ending I wanted for these two.

40) There’s so much I don’t understand…

The woman narrating is Wynonna’s mother? And she’s ALIVE? Has she been alive this whole time? What about the secretive look between Dolls and Nicole? Is she having second thoughts about her divorce? And what about the folder she was holding with info about Bulshar? Is she working with Dolls behind Waverly’s back? And how can Jeremy and Waverly be acting so carefree when everything is a mess?

If Wynonna’s mom is alive, there’d better be an explanation as to why this was never brought up before. It doesn’t make any sense!

I need Alice in Wynonna and Doc’s life, okay? This can’t be the end of that storyline, I just won’t accept it.

41) Amazing season finale, full of plot twists and emotional moments. I’ll admit I shed more than one tear. I truly can’t believe how the show continues to be so fast-paced and engaging. There never is one minute, one line, one scene wasted – everything has meaning and is relevant to the plot, and it never lets up and I’m so excited to see what they have to offer in season 3, and hopefully, I’ll catch up before season 4 premieres!

This show is quickly climbing up the ladder of my very short and exclusive list of favorite shows, I swear. I’m already looking forward to rewatching it and discovering things I’d missed the first time around.

42) Hope you enjoyed my recap, and, as usual, if you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi.Thanks!

[d3-iseefire]

Little Swan Lost Chapter One

My second most popular fanfic. You can read the rest here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1743620/chapters/3723188

Bilba Baggins was in the midst of a truly beautiful dream. In it she was principal dancer in a production of "Swan Lake" and was right in the middle of the black swan pas de deux. She’d just finished her variation to thunderous applause and the danseur playing Siegfried, a mysterious man shrouded in shadow, stepped forward to join her for the coda.

They moved together in perfect harmony, their bodies in rhythm with one another and the music. Realizing they’d arrived at her strongest part Bilba took a slow, deep breath and launched into her thirty-two fouettes en tournant.

Her execution was flawless and as she ended and launched into the final part of the dance the audience erupted once more. She threw her arm back, head held high in triumph both for the successful performance and as dictated by the play. Her lungs desperately sucked in oxygen and her legs had the barest tremble to them but she pushed it aside, holding the illusion of effortless grace.

A shriek rippled through the auditorium and Bilba blinked in surprise.

With a sharp click the applause, and the audience, vanished.

A second shriek tore through the air.

Bilba’s eyes snapped open, her body already reacting. Adrenaline surged through her veins and she rolled over, falling out of bed and hitting the ground with a thud. Scrambling to her feet, she snatched the can of mace off her bedside table and bolted for the door. A feeling of cold settled over her as images of her roommate being viciously attacked ran through her mind.

Light streamed through the window in the hallway outside her room allowing her to run full tilt. As she reached the entrance to the living room she tried to swing around the corner, hoping to have the element of surprise, only to have her socks slip on the wooden floor and send her sprawling instead. She hit the ground hard, pain barking up her elbow.

Immediately she rolled, coming up into a crouch on one knee, her arm up and ready to spray whatever attacker had dared threaten her friend Rosie.

Rosie who was currently seated on the couch a few feet away, arms wrapped around a pillow, legs drawn up and her surprised gaze fixed on Bilba.

“What in the world are you doing?”

“You screamed,” Bilba said, getting painfully to her feet. “I thought you were dying!”

Rosie smirked. “And you came rushing to my rescue? How sweet.” Her eyes shifted back to the television and she suddenly shrieked again, her grip tightening on the pillow.

Bilba followed her gaze and saw the news running a story. A series of clips aired in a loop behind the reporter as she spoke, not that Bilba could hear it with the sound so low. She squinted as the clips began to replay, recognizing the Shire International Airport. A large, expensive looking jet sat on the tarmac, the door open and a long, velvet carpet stretching down a staircase and across the pavement to where a limousine waited.

“Look, Look, Look!!” Rosie squealed, her hand frantically waving at the screen, “they’re about to show him again!”

A figure appeared at the top of the ramp and slowly started down. From the distance the camera was at Bilba couldn’t make out much other than it was a man and he was dressed in some kind of uniform. What looked like an impressive array of medals and other things adorned the front catching the light and reflecting.

Bilba’s eyes dropped to the footer at the bottom of the screen. It read, in enormous letters, “Prince Thorin arrives for upcoming wedding to still unknown Princess of Shire.”

Bilba rolled her eyes and tossed the mace on a side table in disgust. “Oh, for the love of—next time I may just not come, did you ever think of that?”

Rosie ignored her, still fixated on the story.

Sometimes, Bilba had to admit, she worried a bit about Rosie’s obsession with royalty.

Speaking of which…as if on cue Rosie’s attention snapped back to her, eyes wide and pleading. “Bilba, do you think--”

“No,” Bilba stated.

“But you’re--”

“Disowned, remember? I barely know them.”

“But the Thain is your grandfather!”

“In name only.”

“And your guardian.”

“Also in name only,” Bilba muttered. Anyone with a brain knew her grandfather only took over custody of her after her parents died as a political move. The great, benevolent Thain graciously forgiving his errant daughter in death and taking on her orphaned daughter as a gesture of goodwill, even allowing her to live in the palace and providing her with the very best life had to offer.

At least until public attention died down. After that he couldn't get her shipped off to a boarding school on the other side of the country fast enough. She was still forced to visit in the summer, to keep up appearances, but over the last few years she'd been able to beg off under the pretext of traveling with the ballet company she’d joined.

Rosie had gone back to staring at her latest obsession again, idly chewing on a nail as she did. Bilba shook her head in bewilderment. Rosie was beautiful, on the shorter side, curvy with black hair that hung to her shoulders and beautiful hazel eyes. She could have any boy she wanted but chose, instead, to obsess about princes she’d never have a chance to meet.

Bilba returned to her room, grumbling about the slowly developing bruise on her elbow. Her alarm sounded just as she walked in and she slapped it off in agitation. Ten more minutes she could have slept in wasted thanks to her lovestruck roommate.

She showered quickly and threw on her jeans, shoes and a loose fitting, dark blue blouse. She ran a brush quickly through her hair before twisting it into a chignon and clipping it in place.

She headed out again, stopping in the kitchen to grab breakfast.

Rosie popped in, doing her best to give her puppy dog eyes.

“You seem to be of the mistaken belief I’m a male and those work on me.” Bilba poured herself a bowl of cereal and splashed in milk before leaning against the counter to eat.

“Come on,” Rosie pleaded, “you can at least tell me who he’s marrying! They’ve been keeping it all hushed up for over six months like it’s some kind of state secret or something!”

More like her grandfather was a paranoid bastard and didn’t want to reveal which of Bilba’s cousins was the future bride for fear of her being targeted by…whoever her grandfather was convinced was threatening him at the moment. Bilba firmly believed he had a calendar with a threat of the month written out for each page.

“Whoever it is I don’t envy them." That was saying a lot for her,considering the relationship she had with her royal relatives was…less than stellar.

“I guess,” Rosie mused. She leaned forward on the counter, dropping her chin on the cold granite. “Who wants to marry a guy who had to break his engagement to be with you?”

Bilba agreed silently. She still had no idea how her grandfather had managed that. The country of Erebor was much larger than Shire and far richer. They’d never had much contact with one another until six months earlier when, out of the blue, it had been announced the Crown Prince of Erebor would be marrying a Princess of Shire. The news had stunned the world as just two months before THAT Prince Thorin had officially announced his engagement to a childhood sweetheart.

A knock sounded on the door and Bilba put the news out of her mind as warmth rushed through her.

“Oh, lord,” Rosie grumbled, burying her face in her hands, “save me from the sappiness of lovebirds.”

“Don’t be jealous,” Bilba retorted, setting her bowl in the sink, “you’ll find your own someday, once you stop moping over Princes.”

“In that case I’ll never find anyone,” Rosie’s voice was muffled by her hands, “since I never plan to stop.”

Bilba stepped out of the kitchen and darted to the door, pulling it open with a huge grin on her face.

A second later she was grabbed around the waist, lifted and spun around. Bilba laughed and threw her arms around Bofur’s neck, kissing him soundly before he set her back on her feet.

“So,” he said with a grin, “how’s my girl? Ready for your big night?”

“I think so,” Bilba answered even as her stomach clenched with nerves. “Hopefully I don’t screw it all up.”

“You’ll do fine,” he reassured. Reaching up he pulled off the floppy, insanely ugly hat he always insisted on wearing everywhere he went, and plopped it on her head. “There, you can wear that for luck.”

Bilba grimaced and tugged it off. “I think I’d be more in line for the bubonic plague than luck if I wore that.”

Bofur scoffed. “Critic. That hat is a classic.”

“That hat is dead,” Bilba retorted, plopping it back on his head. "And should have been given a proper burial ages ago.”

Before he could respond she went back to her room to grab her bookbag. When she returned Rosie was sitting cross legged on the kitchen counter, watching the news for more updates on anything royal. Bofur was still in the doorway and she joined him, turning to wave at Rosie. The other girl waved back absently and Bofur pulled the door closed.

As they headed toward the building’s exit he took her bag and slung it over his shoulder where his already rested. He slid an arm around her waist and she snuggled into his side. “Think we’ll need to stage another intervention?”

Bilba laughed. “She’s eating so it probably won’t be as bad. We’ll see how long this coverage lasts.”

Bofur frowned. “Isn’t the wedding tonight?”

Bilba nodded. “Tragically my invitation seems to have been lost in the mail.

They reached the door and headed out, sunlight hitting Bilba in the eyes and forcing her to blink a moment or two before they adjusted.

Bofur shifted suddenly, grabbing her arms lightly and swinging around until he was in front of her. “Well,” he said agreeably, “I guess it’s a good thing you weren’t invited. You have big plans tonight as it is.”

Bilba grinned back at him, butterflies skittering about in her stomach. By a stroke of luck, at least for her, one of the girls playing a swan in her company’s production of "Swan Lake” had fallen ill and Bilba, as her understudy, had been asked to step in.

She was equal parts nerves and anticipation. She’d danced since she was three but this would be her first time on stage as part of an actual ballet company.

Bofur gave her an amused look. “You grin any harder and your face might just crack.”

Bilba laughed and kissed him before tugging out of his grip and racing toward his car. She heard him behind her and managed to get inside before he arrived, locking the door behind her. He gave her a dry look and held up the keys, shaking them at her.

Bilba grinned and leaned against the seat with a sigh as he strode around the other side to get in.

Her mind went briefly back to her grandfather and the wedding set to take place that night and she felt another pang of sympathy for whichever of her cousins had been caught in the Thain’s latest plot.

She also felt a sense of almost gratitude toward the older man. While his treatment of her had clearly been intended to harm it had, in fact, done more good for her than he would ever know. If he hadn’t done as he had, she’d have never joined her ballet company or met Bofur.

She’d never have been able to go to such a fantastic college as Bag End University, even if it was smaller and less renowned, and wouldn’t have met so many amazing people. Even Rosie, though she often wondered if the girl was her friend only because Bilba happened to be a granddaughter of the Thain, no matter how unwanted.

In any event, her life had turned out to be truly amazing.

The car roared to life and Bofur shot her a triumphant grin as he always did when the hunk of junk deigned to start.

Bilba just shook her head.

***

The day rushed by in a blur. Most of Bilba’s classes were shortened in a sort of unofficial holiday in celebration of the upcoming nuptials. The few professors who did insist on full classes mostly spent them talking about Erebor or Prince Thorin and the benefits Shire would gain from the new alliance.

Bilba truly didn’t care and spent most of her day daydreaming, staring out various windows and working through her routine in her mind. The performance that evening would be her moment to shine, to prove to everyone she deserved more roles and, hopefully, one day principal roles. She remembered her dream and shivered at the thought of one day holding the status of principal dancer in a production.

After class she ran out to catch the bus which seemed to move at an insanely slow pace until, finally, it arrived at the theater and she leapt down the stairs and ran inside. Thanks to the stupid wedding she was already later than she should be.

The entrance of the theater was enormous, carpeted in a lush, red and gold pattern thread. The walls were paneled mahogany and the ceiling overhead was gilded in gold leaf and inset lights that gave a soft glow to the room. Just ahead of her were the massive doors that, in only a few hours, would open to permit hundreds of guests eager to see the performance.

At the moment Bofur was waiting in front of them, dressed in the uniform identifying him as a stagehand. He’d been there most of the day already, having skipped his classes to help set up for the show. He opened the door and gave her an exaggerated bow. Bilba returned it and skipped past him, her excitement and nerves warring for dominance.

Inside the carpeting continued, plush enough she could feel it through her shoes. Here, row upon row of polished wood seats filled the room and the balcony overhead, each outfitted with a comfortable red headrest and seat cushion. The room was curved, angled around the stage at the front. The stage itself was huge and very deep, allowing for multiple sets to be set up in layers, a system of pulleys easily lifting one to reveal another behind it. Currently it was buzzing with activity as the crew set it up for the show. Bilba paused for a brief second to take it in, imagining herself on that stage, preforming before a packed house.

She breathed out, trying to calm herself, and then headed on. Steps on one side headed down into the orchestra pit and she took them swiftly, bypassing players rehearsing sheet music, and headed through a door that led to the back of the house.

Here it was pandemonium, dancers and stage crew rushing back and forth as they fought to get ready in time.

Bilba headed to the main dressing room for the dancers. When she entered the others were already there, most of them outfitted in their pure white costumes and headdresses. Several paused when she walked in, giving her confused looks and Bilba felt her face heat. Some good impression she was making, her mind scolded, showing up late opening night.

She scurried to an open mirror, planning to get dressed as quickly as possible. She headed to the racks to grab her costume and paused, her hand lifting to touch empty space.

What?

She twisted slightly to face the other girls, was this some kind of weird initiation joke?

“Do you know where my costume is?” she asked the room at large.

Silence fell, the girls all staring at her and Bilba felt a clenching begin in her gut.

Finally, a girl she recognized as another of the understudies, Christy or something, stepped forward. She was taller than Bilba, and most of the other girls, and didn’t often get parts as she stuck out so clearly in group dances. Bilba had no idea why she was there at the moment. Had someone else fallen ill?

“Bilba,” the girl started, wringing her hands before her. “They told us you weren’t coming.”

Bilba blinked. It occurred to her suddenly that the girl’s costume was too tight, as though it had been made for someone smaller.

“I’m sorry,” she said, “what?”

“Marty called me,” Christy continued. “He said you couldn’t preform and I had to come take your place.”

“That…” Bilba stammered, “That’s not true. It’s a mistake.” Her stomach was in full cramp mode by then and her hands were clenched in fists at her side. The other girls were looking away from her and she felt her eyes burn in embarrassment. She swallowed hard, past the lump in her throat. “It’s a mistake,” she repeated, her voice a mere whisper. She held her head high and forced herself to stay calm. “I’ll handle it right now.”

She strode forward, keeping her eyes straight ahead. No one made a sound as she exited, but the second she was back in the hall a babble of voices broke out behind her.

Bilba ignored them and continued to move down toward the director’s office. The underground tunnel was large and sparse, made of concrete and currently crowded with crew, racks of costumes, set pieces and equipment. Bilba focused on breathing in through her nose and out through her mouth. She would not cry in front of them, she told herself, she would not.

Bofur walked out from around a corner.

“Bilba.” His voice was barely a hushed whisper. “You’re white as a sheet. What happened?”

She shook her head at him, not trusting herself to speak without breaking down and continued past. She reached Marty’s door and rapped on it, feeling the sharp sting of pain in her knuckles.

“Come in.”

Bilba obeyed and promptly froze at the sight that greeted her.

Marty was seated behind his desk, a plump, short, middle aged man with thinning hair and oversized glasses.

He wasn’t what gave her pause. What did were the two enormous men on either side of him, both in suits and sunglasses, hair slicked back, earpieces sticking out from their ears.

A sense of dread settled over her. “Marty? What’s going on? Why is Christy wearing my costume?’

One of the suits answered. “Your presence is requested at the palace, Miss Baggins. Immediately.”

Ice settled in her veins. Bilba stared at him without comprehension. “I can’t go,” she said with a thick swallow past the rock now lodged in her throat. “It’s a two hour flight by jet to get there. I have a show to preform in.”

Marty sighed, his shoulders drooping. “I’m sorry,” he apologized. “You won’t be preforming tonight.”

“But--” Bilba’s voice cracked and she took a deep breath, bringing it back under control. “But I PRACTICED.”

“I know you have,” Marty assured her. “Believe me, Bilba, I know.” He stood up and rounded the desk, coming over to grab her hands. They were sweaty and clammy and Bilba resisted the urge to jerk hers away from him. “What do you want me to do?” he asked. “It’s the THAIN, Bilba. I can’t very well refuse him now can I?”

Bilba just stared at him.

She looked toward one of the suits. “Can’t I just go tomorrow?” she asked, her voice pleading. “Or even after the show? It’s only a couple of hours.”

“I’m sorry,” the man stated, his voice flat. “Your grandfather wants you immediately.”

“Why? What does he want?”

“I’m not at liberty to say.” The man stepped forward. “You will come with us now. The jet is waiting.”

Bilba’s jaw trembled and, despite her best efforts, tears started to slip of their own accord down her face. “But I practiced.” she whispered.

“I'm so sorry,” Marty replied. He patted her hand awkwardly. “There will be other productions, Bilba. I promise.”

She didn’t respond. He released her hands and stepped back. The two suits stepped up on either side of her and then she was being escorted down the corridor. The people she passed stopped and stared and whispers followed her. Shame and embarrassment burned hot within her and the tears flowed ever more freely. She dug her nails into her palms in an attempt to stop herself from crying but to no avail.

She caught another glimpse of Bofur but shook her head at him as he stepped forward. The last thing she wanted to do was talk to him, she’d break down entirely and then her humiliation would truly be complete.

She was guided out of the corridor, back through the hall and, thankfully, through a back door instead of out front where show goers were no doubt beginning to gather.

A limo was waiting there and she was bundled inside and whisked off to the airport. The entire ride Bilba sat in stunned disbelief, half expecting and half praying she’d wake up and find the entire thing had been a terrible dream.

It was only once she’d been led onto her grandfather’s private jet that reality set in and Bilba finally allowed herself to break down. As the plane rolled down the runway and lifted smoothly into the air, Bilba huddled in her seat, pressed her face into her hand and sobbed.

The suits, and whoever else was on the plane, had the decency to leave her alone as despair rolled over her. She imagined they would probably not bother her until she’d managed to recover.

They didn’t speak to her the rest of the flight.

***

The palace hadn’t changed from the last time she’d seen it, nearly five years ago. Bilba watched it come into view, her eyes dry and puffy from crying, her body exhausted.

Her grandfather had built the new palace, setting it high upon a hill so it would be visible for miles. He’d wanted it as ostentatious as possible and had achieved his wish. It boasted hundreds of rooms, not that many were ever used, multiple swimming pools, an indoor theater capable of holding well over a hundred people and much, much more.

The car wound up the long driveway, past giant bushes cut in the shape of the Thain and his beloved, and much spoiled, children and other relations.

All but her mother that is. Getting disowned for marrying the wrong person meant you didn’t warrant a bush.

The car stopped at the front gates and she listened with halfhearted interest as they were buzzed in. By now she imagined the production was in full swing back home, Christy was probably even then leaping and twirling about the stage wearing Bilba’s costume and dancing her part.

The car continued on, rolling slowly up the curving driveway and coming to a stop at the entrance to the palace. Bilba was out before they were fully stopped, her depression already morphing into anger.

She marched inside and found her grandfather’s steward, a greasy looking weasel of a man named Grima Wormtongue, waiting for her.

“Where is he?” she ordered before he could speak.

Grima looked startled. “In his office,” he started, “but--”

He got no further as she stormed past him. The front foyer of the castle was meant to impress, marble floors, gilt lined walls, expensive art, tapestries and statues everywhere. Bilba saw none of it as she stomped her way to her grandfather’s office.

Once there she shoved the doors open and entered, finding the man who’d ruined six months of dedicated practice seated behind an ornate, walnut desk.

“Why?” she ordered. “What was so bloody important you forced me to miss my production?”

The Thain of Shire, Gerontius Took, gave her a look one might give to a particularly bothersome insect. He was old, nearing eighty, but had lost none of his vigor and his mind was as sharp, and devious, as ever.

“You look terrible,” he stated. “It’s a good thing I decided to keep you away until the last second. He’d probably have run in fright at the first sight of you otherwise.” He stood to his full height of just under six feet and nodded behind her. Bilba had no time to look as the door slammed shut, sealing her in the office with the old goat.

Gerontius moved casually out from behind his desk. If possible he’d grown even larger since she’d seen him last. He was dressed, as always, in the richest and most ostentatious robes and garments he could find. Rings sparkled on several fingers and he wore a crown so enormous and bedecked with jewels Bilba often wondered how he didn’t suffer a broken neck just from the strain of supporting it.

“How well do you remember your history, Bilba?” His voice was oily as ever, a tone to it that somehow always made her skin crawl.

“I don’t see what relevance that has to anything,” Bilba shot but stopped herself from saying more as he held up a hand.

“I wouldn’t expect you to remember much,” he mused. "You do take after your father after all, simple minded as he was.”

Bilba bit her tongue hard enough to draw blood. Rising to his bait would do nothing but give him the pleasure of knowing he’d gotten to her.

Gerontius settled on the corner of his desk. No doubt he probably felt he presented a commanding presence but, to Bilba, he just looked like a lazy, fat peacock.

“Nearly twenty years ago,” Gerontius said calmly, “the Kingdom of Erebor was conquered by the Kingdom of Mordor. The royal family was forced to flee and a dictator, going by the name of Smaug, was placed on the throne in their stead.”

Bilba rolled her eyes. “I already know all that,” she snapped. “What does it have to do with me?”

“I’m getting to that,” her grandfather replied. He looked amused and Bilba mentally kicked herself for letting her emotions rule her. “A great portion of the population of Erebor fled under Smaug’s rule and, with the royal family in exile, there was little they could do to help them. It was at this time that Thror, the King in exile at that time, came to me desperate for help.” The man’s face twisted for a moment, as though remembering and Bilba suppressed a shiver at the glee in his eyes. “He had nothing to offer me at the time, of course, so he promised a repayment at a future date, once Erebor had been reclaimed.”

An event that had happened nearly ten years earlier, Bilba thought. Thror hadn’t lived to see it happen but his son, Thrain, had and now ruled in his father’s stead.

Realization dawned on her suddenly and she looked at her grandfather in horror. “Is that how you forced the alliance and the marriage? You called in the debt?” She had wondered, as had many analysts, why Erebor would ever agree to such a deal. The alliance, as she understood it was for them to send money and Shire to send food. The problem was that Erebor was so much larger than Shire that there was no way for them to ever send enough food to make much difference or to make an alliance worthwhile. Particularly one that, seemingly arbitrarily, forced the Crown Prince to break off an engagement and marry a woman he’d never met.

Her grandfather smiled, a truly wicked look, and Bilba felt her heart sink at the notion she was related to one so incredibly cruel. “Why?” she asked again, though this time for a different reason. “They would have given you a fortune in payment, why ask this?”

She had no doubt it was somehow money related. It was common knowledge Shire was in dire straits financially. Gerontius Took indulged himself and his family with every indulgence, it was only a matter of time before the money started to run out.

“Oh, they did,” he stated, “but I rejected it. It was not nearly enough given the amount of help we provided when Erebor was at its most dire need.”

Somehow she doubted that. “So you demanded an alliance,” she stated flatly, “and a political marriage to seal it. Why?”

Her grandfather nearly preened with pride. “The reason for the alliance should be obvious. I want money, they have it." He settled back slightly on the desk, "as for the reason for the marriage, that I'll keep to myself for the time being. As far as you need to know it is merely symbol of the alliance, a guarantee of the good will of both our kingdoms.”

Except Erebor was giving up her Crown Prince while Shire was only giving up a random Princess or, more likely, close blood relative to the throne, Bilba thought, hardly a fair trade.

“Not to mention guaranteed hatred of whatever poor girl is forced into such a situation,” Bilba responded. “Who is it?”

He looked at her, smile still firmly in place on his face.

It was a testament to how tired she was that the truth didn’t hit her immediately.

Instead it was a slow trickle. The mystery over who the woman was, grabbing her from her production on the night of the wedding, giving her no time to prepare or consider running, her grandfather’s words when she’d walked in. The very fact he’d be sending whoever he’d chosen into a hostile situation and, therefore, would most likely pick someone he disliked.

Bilba staggered and her back hit the door. “No,” she whispered. “Grandfather, no.”

“Oh, it’s Grandfather, now is it?” Gerontius stated. “You will be married in approximately a half hour’s time. I expect you to look better than you do now.”

Bilba shook her head, her entire body trembling. She continued to sag, gravity seeming to increase its hold on her. “No,” she repeated, “you can’t force me. I’ll say no.”

“Will you? You’d have a hard time refusing your guardian.”

“Only for six more months,” she said in desperation, “I’m almost twenty-one.”

“At which time I shall still be the Thain,” her grandfather said, “and, thus, still in control.”

"I don't care," Bilba insisted. "You can ruin my life. I'll leave, go to another country." Bofur would go with her, she knew he would. It would be difficult but preferable to being used as a pawn in whatever plot her grandfather was concocting.

Idly he reached over his desk and picked up a folder. “You know, just because you’re the bastard of that scum your mother married doesn’t mean I don’t keep an eye on you. Consider it watching the half that’s my blood.” He flipped the folder open and started to page through it. “You have amassed yourself quite a number of friends I see.” He held up a picture and Bilba found herself staring at a shot of Rosie, striding across the courtyard on campus, probably on her way to class. Another picture and there was Petunia, her lab partner in Chemistry, a shy, quiet girl who wanted to be a doctor. He showed another picture and another friend and another and another after that.

Then he held up a new photo and Bilba felt her breath stop in her lungs.

Bofur.

Bofur, his arms wrapped around her, a giant smile on his face as he said…something. She couldn’t even place what day that shot would have been taken.

“Promising career this one had.” Her grandfather turned the picture toward himself, studying it. “Oh, I’m sorry, has. It would be such a shame if anything was to happen to derail it, wouldn’t it. I doubt he'd even be able to find work in another country if it was found out he'd derailed the alliance, angering both Shire and Erebor.”

“You wouldn’t,” Bilba whispered, but he would, oh, she knew he would. He’d made her mother’s life a living hell, made it nearly impossible for her or Bilba’s father to find work. They’d been left in poverty until the day they died, driving a car with bald tires on ice. They’d spun out and right into a lake that wasn’t nearly frozen enough to support the weight of a car.

"Please," she begged. "Please don't do this."

Gerontius set the photo down. "You are a tool," he said, his voice cold. "Did you genuinely believe you would never be used?"

Bilba heard a loud roaring in her ears.

She sat hard on the ground. Her body no longer responded to her commands. She swayed, dizziness overcoming her and, vaguely, felt her body slump to one side.

Bofur, she thought, and her heart clenched at the realization she’d most likely never see him again. That, in all likelihood, her grandfather would announce her marriage in a half’s hour time and Bofur would think she’d betrayed him, that this had been her plan all along.

Rosie as well. She could imagine the hurt her friend would feel thinking Bilba had planned to marry a Prince all along and had deliberately cut her out.

A nearly hysterical laugh bubbled out of her throat.

And, then, Bilba proceeded to faint dead away.

***

If life held any fairness in it Bilba would have remained unconscious and Prince Thorin would have been forced to return to Erebor without her. Thorin could elope with his ex-fiancee, the alliance could be re-negotiated and Bilba could go back to her own life.

She already knew life wasn’t the least bit fair. Her parents death had taught her that much.

She ended up being out less than ten minutes.

When she woke up her grandfather was no longer in the room. Instead a group of people were clustered around her. They immediately dragged her up and proceeded to manhandle her. Before she could try to argue she found herself stripped naked and hustled through a door into her grandfather’s private bathroom. There she was ordered to bathe and, when she didn’t do a good enough job, they took over and scrubbed her until she was sure her skin would actually come off.

Once that was done she was hauled back out, shoved into undergarments and a corset and pushed into a chair. The primping started after that, makeup and hair and fake eyelashes and nails. Through it all Bilba sat in a numb sort of trance, watching the proceedings as though they were happening to someone else.

She was stood up unexpectedly and handed a pair of sheer nylons to put on. She obeyed dumbly and then dutifully stepped into spiked, gold high heels.

The dress was a sight to behold and, under any other circumstance, Bilba would have been in awe. Now, however, she stood like a mannequin as they strapped her into it. It was long sleeved, going over the backs of her hands and ending in small loops around each middle finger. The bodice was tight against her body and the skirt was comprised of so much fabric it felt like she was wearing bricks. The overlay for it was gold lace, culminating in a train over ten feet long. A veil completed the look, draping over her head and going to her waist. It was so heavy that, when shown a mirror, she couldn’t see her face and, for that, she was grateful. Given the beauty of the dress she had no doubt her grandfather planned to record and broadcast the entire thing. No doubt he would show himself as the loving grandfather doing right by the granddaughter of an unapproved marriage, ensuring she made a good match and was taken care of.

She was guided from the office. Outside one of her cousins, Beatrice, was leaning against the wall. She was closest in age to Bilba, with blond hair and green eyes. She was gorgeous with a fit, athletic body she was now showing off in a sparkling gold sheath dress.

She pushed off the wall and came forward to grab Bilba’s arms. “Lucky you,” she almost purred. “If he weren’t so pissed about having to break up with that little mouse of his I’d have married him myself. He’s hot.”

Bilba gave her a blank look. Beatrice pulled her down the hall and Bilba went with her, wordlessly allowing the other woman to take her to the doors of the grand ballroom.

“Grandfather wanted a big wedding,” Beatrice said, “but Thorin refused. So we’re faking it instead. We’ll let the media use clips, you know? Make it seem like it was this big long thing.”

Bilba didn’t care, wasn’t listening, was barely aware of her surroundings.

Footsteps sounded and then Gerontius was there, taking her arm in his.

He was going to walk her down the aisle, Bilba realized. The thought made her physically ill but she couldn’t do anything without risking the futures of her friends. Of Bofur.

Bofur.

As music began to play and the doors were thrown open she tried to imagine it was him waiting at the end of the long aisle as they began to walk down.

It would have been him, eventually, of that she was sure.

As they entered the room Bilba could see what Beatrice had meant. A few rows of seats had been set up at the front of the room, filled with people. No doubt that would be one of the clips shown over and over with no one ever questioning why no wide shots were ever shown.

At the head of the aisle a large altar had been set up, upon which she would shortly be sacrificed. It was draped in greens and blue, the colors of Shire, and overlaid with blue and silver, the colors of Erebor. A man she didn’t recognize stood waiting to officiate and, to her surprise, many of her female cousins, dressed in the same dress as Beatrice, stood lined up to one side. As she watched Beatrice joined them near the front, taking the place of Maid of Honor. The other side held a number of men that Bilba vaguely thought she recognized from the security force, including the two who’d dragged her away from her life. She wondered if the clips of them would be photoshopped to make them appear even more different.

They reached the front of the aisle and Bilba was finally forced to look at the man waiting there.

Thorin Durin was tall, much taller than he had appeared descending from the plane. Bilba was sure her heels added several inches to her normal height of 5’3” but he still towered over her, probably easily topping six feet. His shoulders were broad, his face chiseled and sporting a short cropped beard. His hair, dark and with a slight wave, was worn long and currently tied back in a low ponytail. Two braids, she vaguely remembered something culturally significant about them, draped over his shoulders, silver beads capping them. He wore the uniform he’d had on when she’d see him departing the plane, had it just been that morning? The uniform of royalty, marking every inch of him as the Crown Prince he was.

She risked a look at his eyes, and instantly quailed, wishing she hadn’t. They were a blue that couldn’t possibly be found in nature, and stared at her with a blank coldness that she thought might just match what she currently felt inside herself at the moment.

The minister began. The service was short, not at all what she’d imagined or dreamed of when she was younger.

When Thorin spoke, his deep, slightly accented voice offering a curt, “I do” she started in surprise.

A moment later the question was asked of her. Feeling as though bars were closing around her, Bilba focused on Thorin’s shoes, polished to a shine so intense she could see her veiled reflection in them, and offered a quiet “I do.”

The bars clanged shut, the sound so loud in her mind it was a wonder they weren’t audibly heard.

Thorin’s hand took hers and a ring was slid onto the ring finger of her left hand. She didn’t look at it. It felt like a manacle, dragging at her hand.

The minister spoke a few more words and Thorin stepped up to a small table she hadn't noticed before. He bent, wrote something, then straightened, spun on one heel and marched out, leaving her at the altar. Bilba felt a brief moment of hope. Had he changed his mind? Decided he couldn't go through with it?

Then the minister said something to her, gesturing toward the table and she stepped forward to see a marriage license laying there. Thorin's signature was scrawled on it, the lines harsh and jagged.

Someone handed her a pen. For several seconds Bilba stared at it until her grandfather cleared his throat loudly next to her. Choking back a sob, Bilba bent and signed her name.

And, just like that, her life as she knew it was over.  

Her cousins surrounded her, talking excitedly and lifting her hand to stare at her ring.

All Bilba could do was stare at her signature.

It felt like she'd signed her own death warrant.

[stillthewordgirl]

LOT/CC fic: Loose Ends

About a year after Sara and Len visit Len's Earth (see "Hearts of Steel"), the Waverider gets a call from STAR Labs. And it seems a few visitors might just clear up some loose ends for this pair.

Happy birthday to @larielromeniel​! (And thanks for beta’ing your own birthday present!)

I know I said that "Hearts of Steel" was the last story in the Len Snart stories, but I apparently lied. :) (You might want to read those stories first, to see what's going on. You can find the series here on AO3.)

You can read this story here on AO3 or here on FF.net.

“Len?”

He’d finally fallen asleep what, three hours ago? Len Snart mutters something into the pillow, refusing to open his eyes, yanking the blanket up over his head.

Sara…whose room this technically is, although he’d pretty much moved in months ago…chuckles softly and not without sympathy. She knows, after all, because she’s the one who’d sent him and Ray and Mick on the particularly exhausting mission they’d only returned from three-hours-and 17-minutes ago. Or so.

“Umph,” he tells her indistinctly, speaking into the pillows.

Sara sighs. “Len,” she says quietly. “I know. But I need just a minute, OK?” She sits down on the edge of the bed. “Then you can go back to sleep for a while. But you should know this.”

That doesn’t sound good. Len cracks an eye open, then rolls over, eyeing Sara, who’s fully dressed and looking far too awake and put-together. (Well, she’d slept.)

She gives him a half-smile, registering that he’s listening. “We just got a distress beacon from STAR Labs, back in 2018 on our Earth. Not much info…but the message said  you need to be there.” She pauses. “I don’t know why. They haven’t responded to any other queries, but then we’re not really set up for that.”

Len can’t say precisely that he’s fully awake now, but he’s a helluva lot more awake than he’d been a few minutes ago. He stares at Sara, who gives him a regretful smile as she reaches out to wrap her fingers around his as they curl around a blanket.

“Lisa?” he says finally.

He’d finally met this Earth’s version of his sister a few months back, and it’d proven…complicated. Lisa of Earth-1 was still a mix of enraged and heartbroken over her brother’s fate, and seeing his doppelganger had been a kick in the gut. But they’d worked it out, somehow, arriving at an understanding of sorts, and he’d made her promise to call if she needed anything, anything at all. (While giving Cisco a flat sort of big-brother look, which seemed to be expected of him.)

Sara’s eyes are sympathetic. “I don’t know. Best I can tell, there wasn’t anything majorly wrong. It was Barry, and you know him…he’s not great at concealing things. If anything, he sounded…” She pauses, considering. “…extremely excited.”

“That kid could get extremely excited over a new flavor of ice cream.” Len closes his eyes and sighs. “OK. How long?”

“You have a bit. We need to take our ‘guest’ back home first.” She smirks at him as he sighs again.

The guest in question is one Butch Cassidy, who’d been thrown ahead in time by a temporal anomaly and, less daunted than expected by the 1950s, promptly started putting together a new “Wild Bunch.” Len and Mick had arranged to get recruited, with Ray unable to resist tagging along, while the others had tried to figure out where to deposit Cassidy that wouldn’t mess up the man’s personal timeline. Len had been rather beleaguered, trying to keep Mick (who’d hit it off famously with Cassidy) from backsliding--and trying to restrain Ray, who was overjoyed to be in such famous company and kept happily quoting a movie that wouldn’t come out for another 10 years to a confused outlaw.

No wonder he’d been exhausted.

“OK,” Len mutters, closing his eyes again. “Well, the least that bastard owes me is another hour or two of sleep.” Then he opens one eye and starts to lever himself up on an elbow. “Or do you need me to…”

Sara’s smiling as she puts a hand on his chest, pushing him back down. “Rest, Len. We’ve got this.”

“Make Ray and Mick put their new BFF back where he belongs.” Damn, he’s tired.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.” He feels Sara’s lips brush his forehead. “I’ll handle it.”

“Urm.”

He hears her leave the room then, as he wills sleep to return. Of course, despite the exhaustion, his brain picks now to start obsessing over this mysterious call from STAR Labs—the one he needs to be there for. Could this Lisa and Cisco…nah. But then what…

It’s been nearly a year since he and Sara returned from his Earth, and it’s been good. Very good. He’s continued to fit in with the Legends, working with them far better than he’d ever worked with the League. And he and Sara challenge each other and back each other up and flirt and drink and fight and sleep together. They’re head over heels in love, and they make no secret of the fact at this point, and the team is amused and supportive, and life is sweet.

Except…

He’s thought about having Cisco vibe him back to his Earth to check on Lisa, to make sure she’d really taken the cure, to make sure it really worked. To make sure she’s as happy as she can be, and safe.

But he’d left the ball in her court, and he’s screwed up so much when it comes to his little sister that he’s loath to blunder back into her life just when she may be mending it. Mick knows how to find him if they want to get in contact.

Which would lead them to Earth-1’s STAR Labs. Which has just called for him.

He doesn’t want to hope.

But he can’t help it, either.

Len does sleep again, almost against his will, and Sara only wakes him well after Cassidy is safely back in 1900. She knows him well enough to read how fidgety and irritated he is at the sigh of nerves and gives him some space, pushing back and giving him a verbal set-down when his crankiness goes too far. He showers and dresses when they land in 2018, then joins the others to figure out who’s going where.

“Well, it doesn’t seem like anyone’s attacking the city,” Jax notes, looking at the newspapers Gideon’s pulled up on a viewscreen. “And Barry probably would have told us if they needed all of us. And he didn’t.”

He looks at Len, then, and the rest of the team follows suit. They know, at this point, about his sister and Mick, know that’d he’d left behind loose ends on his Earth. Len, already nervy, shifts in place, annoyed at the discomfort he’s showing and a trifle uneasy at the attention. He’s been just one of the team for so long now; he rather hates it when someone takes note that he’s from…somewhere else.

“OK, then, just let me go,” he says, turning a snap into a mutter with great effort. “No one else needs to bother. For all I know, they just need my powers for something.”

No one mentions that Team Flash has its own ice meta. Sara regards him, then eyes the others.

“I’m going with him,” she tells them, not even looking at Len. Well, maybe he deserves that, for doubting she’d have his back here. “Someone needs to stay with the ship...”

“I will.” Mick shrugs as the eyes turn to him. “Eh, I’m a better pilot than the rest of you losers—uh, not you, Sara—just in case we have to move the ship, and it might be better if I stay away from STAR Labs. If...well...I don’t think I wanna meet another me. Too weird.”

It’s perceptive. Len and Sara had long since discussed (back when Len had been a little more optimistic that his Lisa and Mick would at least check in before now) that maybe it would be better if the Micks native to their respective Earths didn’t meet. Despite similarities, they’re two very different men, although Len has the uneasy feeling that they could egg each other on to greater heights—or depths. Mick has apparently decided the same.

Impossible not to notice, though, that the team has come to the same conclusion that Len's trying not to reach— the one that he’s still holding out hope for.

In the end, Len and Sara head for STAR Labs on their own, with the team reminding them multiple times to yell or call or whatever and they’ll be there ASAP. Stein and Jax even assert that they’re going to wait a little while to be sure that all’s well before they head out to visit their own families, and Len’s rather touched by that—so much so that he even tells them so. (Jax slaps his back and grins like he’s the older of the two, and Stein bestows one of those fond quasi-paternal smiles on him.)

They have keycards to the labs, but Len still refuses to use his—and today is no exception. He heads for the Cortex, trying not to let his steps lag, Sara’s even stride beside him helping, in a way. They can face anything together, right?

Over the past year, he’s been thinking that sort of thing a lot. Interesting. And enough to have him thinking other thoughts he’s never had before.

But first, he has to get through this…whatever it is. Len feels his lips twitch, even as the end of the corridor approaches. And wouldn’t it be hysterical in a depressing sort of way, after all this, if Team Flash just wants to enlist him for a team-up, or something?

But nearly the moment he sets foot in the Cortex, he knows it’s not just that.

It’s far more.

Lisa’s standing there, her back to him—this Earth’s Lisa. Her hair is long and brown, and she’s wearing the black leather jacket he’s always seen her in, here. His Lisa had always liked lighter colors; it’s one of their differences. And she’s talking to…she’s talking to…

He stops dead in his tracks and stares. Sara, beside him, stops too, and he can hear her intake of breath. It’s not just him, then, he thinks distantly. She sees it too.

“Snart!” Barry hustles up behind him. “Seriously, of all the times not to use the key and give us a warning…”

Len ignores him. The two women ahead have heard him and, eerily in unison, they turn around. Now the breath hisses out of Len’s mouth, like he’s been physically booted in the stomach, and he takes a step forward, eyes on them, at an utter loss for what to do or say…

“Snart!”

And then he’s hit from behind, so started that he doesn’t even manage to ice up or lash out, breath driven out of him even more as his assailant lifts him right off his feet in a…bear hug?

Mick…it’s his Earth’s Mick, he realizes once he can breathe again, who else would it be?...drops him after a moment, stepping back as Barry, the jerk, laughs out loud and Caitlin, joining them, covers her mouth with her hand, obviously trying not to smile. Mick smirks at him in a way that suggests he knows just how much he’d startled his former partner, then winks at Sara. “Hello again, Blondie. Been keeping this ass out of trouble?”

“Getting into trouble with that ass, more like,” Sara tells him, grinning as he barks out a laugh at the innuendo. “Hello, Mick. Still no fire?”

“Nah. Burned out a bit on it.”

Len, who’s not sure where to look right now, chokes. “Was that a pun? That was horrible.”

“Well, you’re not around, so…”

But someone’s clearing their throat in an obvious bid for attention, and Len realizes that it’s Cisco, who’d gone over to the two women Len had been staring at and apparently brought them over to the others. The room goes silent again as Len stares at them, and they regard him in return.

This world’s Lisa finally sighs, giving him a sad little smile, far more emotion (other than anger, anyway) than Len’s seen from her before. In a gesture that seems quite genuine, she rests a hand briefly on the other woman’s arm for a moment, then turns and walks swiftly away, down another corridor. Len notices that Cisco watches her go, his expression melancholy, but the other man seems to think he needs to stay here a moment.

Sara, however, makes her own decision. She squeezes Len’s arm and then heads off after the dark-haired woman, leaving Len looking at the remaining woman, who’s looking back at him.

His sister.

Barry and Cisco are saying something in the background, but Len’s not listening, not really. Lisa looks almost tentative, an expression he’s rarely seen on her, but she’s…she’s herself. No longer a woman made of living gold. Her eyes are blue, with whites and dark pupils; her forearms are bare and normal sun-tanned flesh. She’s wearing ordinary clothing, jeans and a white blouse, no more gloves that were the only thing allowed her to touch…anything. The only thing about her that’s gold now is the necklace she’s wearing—one he gave her years ago—and her hair. It’s shorter, not quite to her shoulders, and so golden a color that Len would think it was still metal if it didn’t appear to be moving just like normal hair.

He can’t find words.

Finally, Lisa herself speaks. “It worked,” she says, very quietly, looking at him. “It worked, Lenny.”

Len clears his throat. “I see,” he says, equally as quietly. “I…I’d wondered. I’m sure it wasn’t pleasant…”

Lisa laughs a little, a disbelieving and breathless sound. “Are you kidding? I’m…I’m me again. And you came all the way from another world to do that. Thank you, Lenny. I…”

She stops then, with a little squeak of surprise, because her brother has stepped forward and done something he hasn’t done in years, not since they were both quite young. He wraps his arms around his little sister and hugs her, pulling her close and resting his chin against her golden hair, closing his eyes to try to stop the tears from welling up. (He fails.)

“I’m so sorry, Lis,” he tells her, feeling his voice thicken and trying to ignore the little “oooh” from Team Flash and the gruff murmur from Mick. “I’m so sorry. I thought I was going the right thing back then. I was wrong.”

But Lisa’s arms go around him too, and he knows, finally, that he’s forgiven.

Earth-1’s Lisa Snart had ducked into an empty office in the lab complex, and that’s where Sara finds her. The dark-haired woman is sitting on a desk and staring fixedly at her hands. She glances up as Sara moves into the room, then back down again.

“I’m glad for them,” she mutters, sounding more angry and lost than glad. “Really.”

“So am I. But…” Sara regards her, a bit at a loss. She’s only met this Lisa Snart a few times, and the first was when she’d gone with Mick to tell her that her brother had sacrificed himself. It hadn’t gone well. How could it? “But it’s hard. Sometimes. Knowing …that Len’s not him.”

Lisa’s gaze flicks back up to her, and, yeah, there’s anger there. “Oh? Kinda seems like you didn’t have much of a problem falling right into bed with this one. Didn’t remember my brother very long then.”

Now it’s Sara’s turn to blink, startled by the venom in the comment. She’d known Lisa regarded her with some suspicion, but she hadn’t quite realized that the woman felt this way. In fact, she hadn’t even told Lisa that she and the Earth-1 Leonard had been on the verge of…of something…when he’d died.

But maybe it’d been more obvious than she’d thought. Certainly, Lisa had been able to read her relationship with Len fairly accurately since the time she’d met him.

Lisa’s still watching Sara, eyes hard, but Sara thinks she sees a flicker of uncertainty in them. She’s suddenly forcibly reminded of how Earth-1 Leonard had been, back in the beginning, torn between his cold façade and his fragile connection with Sara, his growing ties to the team. He’d let go with a snide comment or nasty observation from time to time as if to prove that he didn’t care, but it hadn’t taken Sara all that long to figure out that it mostly just proved the opposite.

Damaged Snarts. She can’t seem to help trying to get through to them.

So Sara looks Lisa Snart of Earth-1 right in the eye, takes a deep breath, and tells her, “Falling in love with Len was one of the hardest things I’ve ever let myself do.”

Sara holds up a hand as the other woman starts to speak, continuing. “I’d been starting to fall for your brother, but it seems like you know that. When he…when he died, trust me, Lisa, you couldn’t possibly blame me more than I blamed myself.” She shakes her head. “I hadn’t cared for anyone since...well, in a long time, and his death hurt like hell, and I promptly went in the other direction, one-night stands throughout time, trying to make it go away, to hurt less.”

“And did it work?” Lisa’s tone is acerbic, but she won’t meet Sara’s eyes.

“You know it didn’t. And when I met Len...I shoved him away with both hands. There was no way I was going to let that happen again.” Sara smiles a little. “He was persistent. And managed to work his way in, through my walls. It wasn’t easy, Lisa. And I’ll...I’ll remember your brother until the end of my days. He made it possible for us to choose.” A deep breath. “And I chose to...to live. To move on.” She fixes the other woman with a direct look. “He���d want you to, too. And you know it.”

Lisa stares back at her, then looks away again, avoiding her eyes. It’s a very Leonard move and Sara sighs inwardly. But after another moment, Lisa looks back, and Sara’s startled to see a few tears in her eyes.

“I don’t know how,” she mutters, an angry, disconsolate comment. “I don’t know what to do. I keep trying to go good, to do what Lenny wanted, to travel or go back to school...but then I get bored, and I think about him, and I get angry, and I...” Her fists, sitting on her lap, tighten. “I don’t know how.”

Sara makes a snap decision. “Come with us?” she offers. “Be a Legend.”

Lisa stares at her another moment, then laughs a little. “Me? Time travel? Nah. It’d be really weird for...for Len to have his little sister’s doppelganger kicking around, and Mick...Mick’s turned over his new leaf. He’s found his place.” She twists her hands together, then, betraying an anxiety she doesn’t otherwise show. “I need my own.”

And to that, Sara’s not sure what to say.

“...my hair was the one thing the pill didn’t work on. I had to sort of shave it off—I looked ridiculous for a while.” Lisa shakes her head gently, setting her golden hair swaying. “And when it grew back in, it looked like this. I kind of like it.”

“An’ we sold the old hair,” Mick says cheerfully from where he’s roaming around the Cortex, inspecting everything. Team Flash had withdrawn to give them a few moments of privacy, and Mick’s rather obviously casing the place. “And the chair. Kept Scudder. No one would want something that ugly. S’ppose we could melt him down...”

Len and Lisa ignore that. “So, you’re OK?” Len asks tentatively, from his seat on a desk, while Lisa perches a few feet away. “No other ill effects?”

Lisa looks down. “Well. Yeah. Now. But it was...it was pretty tough to acclimate, really, physically. I...I hadn’t eaten in months, you know. Or seen, in a normal way. And I could be hurt again, and I wasn’t used to it.” She glances down at a few rows of small scars on her wrist, leading Len’s eyes to them too and flinching at his intake of breath. “And then I got a little addicted to the idea of feeling again. In any way.”

“Lis...” At the note in Len’s voice, Mick moves toward them again, looming protectively. Len would usually be glad to see that, but at the moment, he’s a little too preoccupied by his sister.

But Lisa’s shaking her head at him again, and there’s actually a hint of a smile on her face. “I’m fine, Lenny. Your friend found us. And she knew...she could tell I needed something different.”

“My friend?”

“The hottie,” Mick rumbles. “Um. Not Blondie. The dark-haired badass with the whip.”

Lisa rolls her eyes. “Lasso, Mick. Lasso.”

“Whatever.”

Lasso... “Diana,” Len breathes. “She checked in on you?” (“I give you my word...” a voice says in memory.)

“She did more than that.” Lisa glances around as Barry and Cisco move back into the room, then looks back at her brother. “She took me to her home. The island?”

Len’s jaw drops. “Themyscira?”

Mick sighs. “I asked her to take me too,” the big man mutters. “But nope.”

The idea of Mick loose on an island full of warrior women doesn’t bear thinking about. (He’d either be dead in minutes or so rapt he couldn’t speak.) Len shakes his head roughly, then stares at Lisa again. “I know of it. I mean, I’ve never been there, but I’ve heard...she took you there?”

“Took me, made sure I settled in, found me mentors.” Lisa beams at him, then at the others. “I’ve learned...well, I’ve learned so much. I’m going back, after we return. There’s a lot more I want to learn.”

Of all the things he’d thought his sister could be, a scholar isn’t particularly one of them.

“Study? What?” Cisco says then, his tone blank with surprise that Len considers a little insulting. (He’s allowed to be surprised at the notion of his sister being a scholar. No one else is.)

“Oh, history, medicine. Remember how I used to want to be a doctor?” Lisa grins at them, looking younger and happier than Len's seen her look in a long, long time. “And self-defense. I bet I could kick your ass now, big brother. And maybe even yours, Flash.”

“I don’t doubt it,” Barry tells her, grinning, as Cisco blinks.

Len shakes his head, then glances at Mick. “And you? What have you been up to?”

Mick draws himself up importantly as Lisa giggles. “Mick,” she says solemnly, “is a consultant.”

“A what?” Cisco can’t help himself. “On what? Arson and assault? Maybe a little robbery?”

“On being a crook,” Mick informs him. “Diana, she told those League people to call me if they needed advice on breaking and entering and all that crap. Some of those shiny heroes, they have no idea.” He looks thoughtful. “They pay well. And they almost always seem to call when I’m getting bored, too.”

Len flicks a glance at Lisa, who’s still smiling. “Oh?”

“Diana pays attention, too,” she informs him.

“I know you were always the brains of the operation, Snart,” Mick continues, “but that’s what I do, now. I ask myself, ‘What would Snart do?’ ” He smirks at his friend. “Then I usually do it. But sometimes I do the opposite.” He chuckles at the look at Len’s face. “Well, buddy, you got some blind spots. Like the Flash.”

“What? Why?” Barry asks quizzically, but Len hastens to change the subject.

“Not you,” he says to the kid, glaring at Mick, ignoring the fact that he knows his own counterpart here had had the same blind spot when it came to this Earth’s Barry Allen. “They really hire you?”

“Don’t act so damned surprised.” Mick folds his arms.

“Huh.” Len thinks about it a moment, feeling a smirk spread across his face. “Dealt with Br...the Dark Knight yet?”

“Nah. He’s a bit full of it, I hear. But I like the Big Guy. Good man.”

“Who...?”

Mick shrugs. “You know. The big guy, wears a cape, red ‘S’...”

Len’s getting a little tired of his jaw dropping. “You mean...”

“And his cousin’s hot.”

Barry can’t help it now. The speedster gets a good case of the giggles, sitting down and burying his face in his hands helplessly. Cisco looks like he can’t decide whether to be appalled or amused and settles for both. Len and Lisa trade looks that hold resignation at both their antics and Mick’s pithy way of stating things, which makes them both smile again.

“Well, at least someone thinks life’s amusing.” Earth-1 Lisa’s dry tone falls into the relative good cheer in the Cortex like a sponge into cold water, sobering Barry up immediately and bringing Len to his feet as he turns to look for the other two women. Sara, walking a few steps behind Lisa, gives him a look compounded of sorrow and something more nebulous. Regret? Frustration?

Lisa continues past her doppelganger, not even glancing at Len or the others, picking up a backpack sitting by the side of the room. “I just stopped by to see what was going on in Central, and happened to see her,” she says, turning and jerking her thumb at the other Lisa. “Distracted me.” She pauses, then, regarding them, eyes unreadable. Cisco takes a step toward her, but she doesn’t look at him, eyes on Len and his Lisa.

“I’m glad you got to see each other again,” she says quietly, after a moment, sincerity in her tone--then shrugs, back to studied insouciance. “Now, if you’ll forgive me, I’ve got nowhere in particular to be, but I need to be there soon.”

“Don’t go already…” Cisco blurts out.

“You don’t have to…” Len says over the top of him.

“I meant the offer…” Sara adds at the same time.

But it’s Len’s sister who’s risen to her feet now, watching her doppelganger with an expression that combines, Len thinks, a sudden sympathy, and an understanding that’s beyond all the rest of them.

“No, come with me,” she says abruptly.

“What?” five of the other six people in the room say, nearly in unison. But Sara’s looking back and forth between them, Len notices, a sudden light in her eyes and a smile blossoming on her face.

“Come with me,” Lisa repeats, taking a step toward her double. “Back to our Earth.” She pauses. “And then to Themyscira. I told you about it, a little, before they got here.”

The Earth-1 Lisa stares at her, backpack still dangling from her hand. “You gotta be kidding me. Why would they…”

The other Lisa cuts her off. “I’ll tell them you’re my sister. I’ve always wanted one.” She gives Len a lurking smile, then looks back. “Sisters mean a lot, there. They’ll understand. And you’ll have a place to stay, time to think.”

She lowers her voice then, speaking directly to the other woman even though there are others who can hear. “Trust me. I understand.”

Earth-1 Lisa looks dumbfounded. Life’s never offered many favors to the Snart kids, Len thinks, and the ones here were offered even fewer than the ones on his Earth. She takes a step forward, then stops.

“I don’t think I can be...be what they are there,” the dark-haired woman in black tells the golden-haired one in white helplessly. “Some scholar or warrior of the light...I don’t think I have that in me...”

“You don’t have to be,” her doppelganger tells her firmly, then smiles. “But you just might surprise yourself. I did.”

Lisa blinks at her, then glances around the room, gaze flicking over Len, Mick, Sara and, particularly, Len thinks, Cisco. Then she takes a deep breath.

“OK.”

Len will admit that he wishes he could have a little more time with this new, happy, uncannily self-possessed version of his little sister, but he also recognizes that the longer she and Mick wait to return home, the more likely it is that Earth-1 Lisa loses her nerve and runs. For now, at least, the dark-haired woman seems a little rattled by her decision, but at peace with it.

Len, watching from his slouch against the wall, sees her gives Cisco a kiss on the cheek, a quiet word and a sad smile as they wait. His Lisa is talking, low and earnest, to Sara, who’s grinning, and wouldn’t he like to be a fly on the wall nearby for that conversation.

Or maybe not.

Mick, who’d been talking to Sara before that, ambles over to Len and the two men study each other. This man, Len knows, hasn’t come to grips with the existence of feelings in the way the Mick on the Waverider has—or, if he has, he sure as hell isn’t going to talk about them.

So Len doesn’t bring that up, doesn’t tell his oldest friend how overjoyed he is to see him well and whole and content. Maybe even happy? Certainly this Mick has seemed to smile more than Len’s ever seen before, and he hasn’t even pulled out his lighter once. And Len will admit freely, to himself, that that makes him happy, untying a knot in the vicinity of his heart that’d been there, to some extent, since the day their guns had gone critical.

But he can’t say that. Not to this Mick, not now. Maybe someday. And it’s enough to know, now, that that “someday” might exist.

“You OK?” he asks instead. “Enough cash? Decent place to crash? Not too bored?”

Mick snorts at him. “Don’t try to mother-hen me, Snart. I’m fine.” He thinks a moment. “An’ you know, I sorta like working for the League, sometimes. I think I finally get why you joined up with them, while back.”

“Really?” Len blinks at him. He can remember why he did—his desperation to save his city and the friends in it, for all that they wouldn’t given him the time of day at the moment; his surprise when enough League members thought that he, a lifelong crook, was worthy of the accolade of membership; the rush of fighting and planning with a group again...

“Yeah.” Mick smirks. “It’s even more fun giving all those heroes shit when you’re helping them out and they can’t do anything back to you.”

Len’s startled into a laugh. “Yeah,” he admits after a moment, “that was part of it.” He straightens from his slouch as he sees Cisco, across the room, wave them over, then pauses. “You take care, Mick.”

“Yeah. You too, Snart.”

To Len’s surprise, his sister approaches and drags him into another hug as he saunters over, but he's not too surprised or taken aback to wrap her in his arms one more time.

“You’re OK?” she whispers to him. “You’re happy? Because…because if you’re only staying here because of how things were with us there…”

“Lis...” Len considers his words. “Yes. More than. I’m…” He shrugs uncomfortably, trying not to look over at Sara. “Well. I’m in love. Got every intention of spending the rest of my life with her. Never thought I’d have that. Yeah. I’m happy.”

Lisa’s eyes sparkle more then than they did when they were gold. “That’s all I wanted to know,” she says, pulling away, then pauses. “I…we’ll…be back to visit,” she adds, then goes up on her toes to whisper in his ear. “In case you have any particular events you want us to be there for…”

Definitely tired of the jaw-dropping thing today. Len stares at her, but Lisa just winks at him, turning away, toward her doppelganger, who’s watching with an expression that can’t decide if it wants to be jaded or hopeful.

Lisa of Earth-1 doesn’t hug him. She doesn’t even say anything. But she gives him a nod, and there’s understanding in her expression. Len gives her a slow nod back.

And then Cisco opens a breach and the trio steps through as Len watches them, a weight lifting from his heart and mind. When it’s closed, he lets out a long breath, then turns to Sara with a sigh.

“OK. Now, really…let’s go home.”

“So, what was my sister talking to you about?”

Sara’s chuckle doesn’t really assuage his concern about that little conversation, and neither does the fact that she gives him a small smile and nothing more in answer. Len had convinced her to take the scenic route on the way back to the ship, to stroll along the Earth-1 Central City waterfront that’s really not like his city’s waterfront at all. It’s a lovely day, really, he decides, feeling a lightness of heart he’s not sure he’s felt in…well, his entire life.

And that’s why, in part, he’s decided to…to do what he’s decided to do. Today.

“She just wants me to…how’d she put it?” Sara muses when they’ve stopped a moment at the railing, looking out at the water. “Not keep you out of trouble, because she knows that’s impossible, but to continue to have your back.” She gives him a smile, an open, sparkling smile, as she leans against the rail—gorgeous, smart, and badass, a partner and a lover and a friend, everything he’d once never admitted he wanted. “I told her, always.”

Len puts his hands behind his back, concentrating, feeling one small, perfect crystal of ice form between the fingers of his left hand, and a smooth, round band of ice form in the other. He’s been practicing this trick, telling himself that it’s just for fine control, quietly thinking that it would be perfect for a…a gesture. Until they can get something more permanent.

And then he brings the two pieces together, fusing them with enough raw cold energy to keep the ring solid for quite some time, and takes a deep breath.

“Yes,” he says quietly, eyes on Sara’s as he pulls the ring out from behind his back and goes down to one knee, there on an Earth on which he wasn’t born, looking up at a woman who’d hated him in the beginning, whose eyes have widened in shock as she watches him, but whose lips have already started to form the word he wants, so badly, to hear right now. “That’s what I’m hoping for, Sara.

“Always.”

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

Im playing my online farming game and I hear "come on guys. Let's go. Time to quit playing around. Mom has people waiting -- like the whole world for our results"

Well it's been 7 hours since the last update and about 6 since they got that larger batch going

Chasity: the UV is doing better than i expected, I'm pleasantly surprised but it's also worse than i thought.

So she explains to me that it is easy to kill but it develops very quickly as it ages but its not harder to kill. Like a fine wine it goes down quick.

Chasity: mom you play too Much. So as it ages it does become slower to kill but it's not easier nor harder just longer.

Me: that's weird

Chasity: yep. We had several different people test it. And the results were all the same But it was milliseconds however we are spraying directly onto a a Petri dish, an antiseptic/antiviral/antibacterial that is prescription for lab use only and so in real life out in the air we don't know the actual results as far as in time - at this time. But we are only 12 hours into the testing phase -- first we had to confiscate the correct virus -- which we did about midnight last night but we didn't really want to test it unless there was an interest and to prove the "PRESIDENT" wrong is an interest. At least for us here in this lab. Because we Are scientist and not idiots. And so to find out how about air we have to spray it into a confined room we have here in the lab and it will show how fast it dies airborne or if it remains air borne past the allowable spray. So like is it just sprayed then falls like the one mom had created (on "accident" through George Bush) so its not airborne or does it remain air borne like the COVID and COVID-19. which once again if you have COVID-19 you cannot get COVID, I've tested it here in this lab they do not interact -- mom what do you call it? A one way window?

Me: yeah because i tried to explain the one way pathway but George Bush didn't understand... He doesn't understand that blood flows one direction through the body from left to right he just thinks the blood goes back and forth in the same blood tube. Like a two way street and so he argued with me and so i explained it as a one way and two way window and he was all "the only one getting arrested here is you. I've proved I'm not smart enough to do all this! Twice!! Just to you!" And he leaned over the table And whispered "And all my life to the secret service" he makes it fun to screw him over to make the perfect virus to kill aliens. To get them off our planet. But to keep humans safe!! And so yes one way mirror.

Chasity: oh that is too funny. That is all i wanted to hear you say, that hes dumb. Your memory is perfect!

Me: so how is the humidity going?

Chasity: sucks fast growing and not easy to kill. But! It does die in about 5 whole seconds and not milliseconds like the UV

Me: so people should feel safe to hang their clothes on the line?

Chasity: oh yeah! Exactly! But they should know the virus can spread in the sun and the UV aka sun won't kill them but it should be safe if it's not like apartment living and its in a private location. It would be better watched to dry in the sun with a fan on an extension cord in a barricaded outdoor place and if you hear someone cough while your clothes are outside you should spray Lysol for at least 2 seconds immediately directly onto the clothes. At least that's what I would do, stay outside with them listening for a cough or discreet spray from a hoodlum or terrorist which is the same now a days. While reading a book and catching some rays myself with sunscreen and sunglasses of course -- in the privacy of my own yard which is allowed even in Spain.

Wendy: so what is the safety? I'll answer that myself. Very very bad. The one mom had was very digital and not many were getting sick from just the Corona. This one however is very bad in just the way it makes any one everywhere very sick and the rate it multiplies. Mom waited too long to close the labs but she stopped one that was 10 times worse and presumed to kill within hours if not just a few days. Like 3 or 4 immediate death. This one now isn't designed to kill, its like mom's. But this one she stopped on Tuesday was like COVID But for every one. It was true Hell. Luckily JuJu pissed her off and she ordered it closed. Otherwise my dad would be dead and probably millions if not billions. They had the orders up,boxed and ready to ship, they just wanted to test on a human first -- my dad.

Long story short. JuJu was the test dummy..

Wendy: yeah! And he died in 4 short hours! My dad wouldn't even had time to get home and would died in his car on the road and it would looked like a generic car accident! So yeah fuck JuJu. I'll kick his ass.

Me: sounds like you did

Wendy: no that was you! Once you posted he committed suicide he knew it was a cover up Because you were just going to have him murdered so he just drank it on his own. That's what i saw.

Me: he hates women so much he committed suicide so that i couldn't have the honor of killing him. Well he only proved women are always right which has Always been my fight with him. Well we won in the end! Hoorah!

Wendy: like 17 people committed suicide that night!

Chasity: Mostly by poisons. They didn't wanna go to jail And wanted control over their own death.

Me: over all death. That's why we always tried to stop them but that was dam sneaky on JuJu

Chasity: he said it was an antidote mom so we didn't know what to do

Me: don't listen to the lab people. I said there is no cure.

Chasity: but for the Corona because we knew there was a new variant for the President of the United State's request because he's mad he is going to die of COVID. I told y'all we needed a human!

Me: well just kill any thing the Corona Variant 2 is mild

Chasity: just a wet cough. But dad got it worse than you so we we're kinda scared.

Me: well i got it at Allsups and I'm nearly over it. As long as i take cough medicine. And fever. Its less than the modern day cold and flu. Corona is literally a joy to have over regular sinus infections and bronchitis. Shit i been sick from that crap they've let loose on their labs. For months sick. This is a wonder virus. So nice to have compared to 2013 and 2014. There was no emergency anything but the cold medicine aisle was wiped out all kinds. People were sick and dying! This? I'm all sleep for awhile, cough take medicine and that's it.

Chasity: yeah well dad had it really bad i thought he was going to die

Me: but he was working out exercise and working and

Chasity: doing cardio and all. See dad? You should stay with mom. She would take care of you. Stay in bed and have chicken soup, a few push ups and repetitive weights and back to bed. You don't have to reply but I hope you're listening.

Brian: shit she takes care of me like I'm a beast! Don't touch me! Breathe over there! We will lay back to back so you know I'm here but no breathy stuff. You want sex? Die first So i don't catch what you got then come back to life after. She is funny tho. I don't mind her so much. That last time i was sick and she was with me i was all "i feel great let me go running!" Then i went back and begged her to never let me do that again!

Chasity: you wanted to die huh?

Brian: she put me in a cool bath and I fell asleep. And I woke up and she was adding hot water. Which made me sleep more. But she left me in there alone while I was asleep! She said I was too tall to drown unless she tried to kill me so she just stopped any one but the little girls from going in. But she covered me with a towel so they couldn't see my junk in the front. And i thought it was a blanket and I was all "oh she's so sweet to bring me a blankie. What the fuck! It's wet who did this to me?! Oh that water is hot. Ouch. Good thing I'm asleep that ain't me. I always turn my own water on. No girl would bathe me. Just ask JuJu Bee. Im too ugly but then again she tells,him she calls him that because bees only sting once and Then they die and she's been stung and she's just waiting for him to die and JuJu because there's no Jesus for what he's done and over all jujuBe candy is good for nothing with no nutrient value and he should shut his face or she's gonna kick it in. What a chick. Hand me that wet towel back I'm getting cold" and you know she told me "it's hot you can't tell the difference of the temperature and the towel is in your lap you never handed it out. But some things you see in your dreams are real. Your body just doesn't know it." And I seriously woke up and I shrieked "are you trying to burn me like in that book with the grandma? You're trying to burn my balls off?!?" And I heard all this laughter but I saw her face looking directly at me not at all amused but slightly sad and I got really scared "why are you such a nightmare?!?!" I seriously shrieked and i thought she would cry but she started to laugh and she got up from the edge of the tub and suddenly a rubber ducky started to float in the tub and I grabbed her arm and said "no babe look!! Did you turn into a duck?!?! No I'm grabbing your arm what am I thinking?!" And she looked down into my eyes real deep like she does and she says "you're real beautiful don't you know?" And i let go of her arm "go on go pee. But what is that laughing you have a tape recorder or something?" She said she wished because it wasn't funny then but she knew she would laugh later. Finally she told on them two, Annabelle and Declan because she adjusted the towel and I was getting ready to throw it out but she shrieked then "no!! You need it to cover up for the kids!" And I said "well where are they?" And she moved her head slightly to the left and motioned me to shh. So i pretended to be a sea monster with a pink towel over my waist and scared the dickens out of them both. Declan looked at me in horror and said I was no fun! Me! Me! Of all people. After i was nearly pissing in my tub talking in my sleep. Shit. I knew i said some bad stuff but all i could think was that it was about sex and murder. Luckily the words that came out were sober compared to what was in my head which was drunk with power.

Chasity: so you're seriously thinking it won't be so bad then? To live with mom then with me?

Brian: I mean well..yeah now JuJu is dead and so is a lot of other people it might be a possibility.

Chasity: because dad this is really important to me So don't mislead me.

Brian: well she's not So bad... She's just a lot of work!

Me: you are a lot of work. You want to treat me like a baby and do everything

Brian: No like you're a doll! But you talk back! Sheesh! A lot too I might add! That makes the work double because then i got to think!

Me: well you don't seem to listen too badly.

Brian: Oh wow! What a compliment! That is a compliment isn't it?!

Me: yeah

Wendy: im Peter Pan's wife do you remember me? Dad you need to grow up and get a wife. Quit being a bachelor. The look isn't good on you. Or on mom. Do you hear?

Brian: yeah i hear. I am listening.

Wendy: okay good. In conclusion of the virus growth we will get back to you tomorrow, general public. And dad we hope you grow over night just as Much. Mom's been typing just over an hour and no major changes to report but now we need to get the room ready and we will have that report tomorrow. Dad thanks for the talk. We always enjoy the Tales of the Man Dressed in a Pink Towel in the Bathtub.

[this-darkness-light]

Bad Clothes Sunday

Pairing: Gritz, Fritz Howard/Gavin Baker

Rating: T (for language and suggestive dialogue)

Summary: The fashionable Mr. Baker has a sartorial secret he doesn’t want anyone to find out about. So of course Fritz does.

Word count: Like 2,660-ish

Tags: Fritz Howard/Gavin Baker, Gritz, Fritz Howard, Gavin Q. Baker III, fluff, humor

Read it on Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12299103

Note: for @brieflymaximumprincess​, who gave me the prompt and is also like one of three who ship this crazy, random (but also very sexy ship) with me. ((hugs))

-.-.-.-.-

Adjusting the brim on his pilfered baseball cap so it dips low over his forehead, Gavin plasters himself to the wall and peeks around the corner. The young security guard patrolling the corridors ambles down the hall in front of The Law Offices of Riley, Melkinson & Baker, munching on what looks like the remnants of a maple bar while flicking his thumb across his phone. Happy, colorful music burbles through a silence disturbed only by the low rumble of the building’s industrial air conditioner. Even though the guard is obviously lost in the digital world of Candy Crush or Angry Birds or whatever silly little games kids are playing these days (Gavin beat both games like fifty times already and got bored with them), his heart stutters in his chest and adrenaline courses through him like liquid ice.

If this guy sees him, rumors will fly and oh, he’ll never hear the end of it from whoever he tells, because if he’s worked here for at least a week he’ll know that this right here is most definitely worth telling. Not to mention the shining opportunity for blackmail. Only an idiot or a saint would pass up a shining opportunity like this. Or Fritz, who’s just a little bit of both, bless his sweet, innocent little heart. But screw Fritz, he’s never finding out. Gavin will keep this shame a secret and take this secret shame to his grave.

Humming off key, the guard stuffs the rest of the doughnut in his mouth and rounds the corner at the far end of the hall, absently swishing crumbs from his fingers. Still plastered to the wall, Gavin holds his breath and strains his hearing to make sure the guard isn’t suddenly going to come back and suck up the tiny doughnut droppings speckling the blue carpet like a hungry vacuum. Only after the soft footfalls and cheerful beepey boopey bling blang bling of whatever game the guard is playing have long faded away does Gavin dare move.

Biting his lip, he oozes around the corner and, eyes glued on the opposite end of the hallway, slinks silently to the office door. His beat-up pair of old black Nike sneakers are so ancient and well-worn they couldn’t squeak and betray his presence even if they wanted to. Honestly he’s surprised they haven’t fallen apart after all these years of loyal service. A good pair of shoes is almost as hard to find as a good man. Lucky for Gavin he seems to have found both, though said shoes and good man will never make each other’s acquaintance.

Snaking a hand into the pocket of his frayed, holey pair of jeans, he slips out his keys and shuffles through them for the one to the office front door, careful not to let them jangle and clang together. He’s just found it and slipped it into the lock when something thumps in the near distance. Stiffening, he goes still and cocks his head to the side, listening. Despite the cool, almost frigid temperature, his ratty old long-sleeved red and white Stanford shirt clings to him like he’s in a sauna. Thump. Thump. Thump. Footsteps. Very heavy footsteps. Shit. Throwing caution aside like last year’s fashion, Gavin twists the keys, throws open the door, and dashes through the entryway and down the hall that leads to his office.

He’s panting by the time he rushes inside, shuts the door, and leans against it. No one tries to follow him in. No pounding on the door or demands to see identification. He did it. Yes! Briefly closing his eyes, he draws in a deep breath through his nose and lets it out quietly as the tension drains from his body. He obviously needs to hit the gym a little more often if such a short sprint did him in, but damn it, he did it.

Well, half of it, at least. Not bothering to turn on the overhead lights — there’s more than enough light from the morning sun streaking through the slats in the window blinds — Gavin takes a crumpled piece of notebook paper from his other pocket, goes to his desk, and rummages around in the drawers for the files he needs, grumbling under his breath at Riley for burying him in an avalanche of work. He’d much rather spend his weekend fucking the socks off his hot FBI boyfriend, but no, he has to write a couple of rejoinders and motions to dismiss and look up case precedents for that hellacious medical malpractice lawsuit with the photo exhibits that make him want to trade in his silk Armani boxers for reinforced steel underwear. Just because Riley isn’t getting any, she has to go and cock block Gavin.

Rude. So very, very rude.

Oh well, at least he’ll get to charge her for it. Billable hours: the balm that soothes all wounds.

Once he has all the files, Gavin tucks the thick stack under his arm and sneaks to the waiting area like he’s a diabetic kid in a pastry shop instead of a law partner in his own office suite. Pausing behind a large fake potted plant, he listens to make sure Doughnut Guard isn’t going to come around the corner anytime soon. Then like lightning he’s out the door, locking it, and speeding down the hall toward the elevator bank and then to his car, praying to whichever god might exist and might be listening that no one he knows sees him.

No one does, and with a mental fist pump he dumps the files on the passenger seat and then slides behind the wheel of his burgundy Lexus, chin high and chest puffed out.

Gavin is still congratulating himself on a heist well done when he pulls into the parking lot for his building. Choosing a spot without any other cars nearby, he gathers the files and strides inside, deciding to take the stairs and get in some more exercise. By the time he reaches his landing five flights later he’s more than a little out of breath. Vowing to reacquaint himself with the elliptical collecting dust in his spare room (as soon as he’s done with this pile of work and does some laundry and takes a nap because he had to get up so hellaciously early), he saunters toward his door, digging around in his pocket for his keys.

And smacks into something solid.

Yelping, Gavin stumbles backward as something hot splashes across his chest. He throws out his arms, more than willing to sacrifice Riley’s stack of busywork to catch his balance and, more importantly, spare his dignity, but nope. The files go flying as he lands hard on his back, knocking all the air out his lungs. Coughing and gasping, he props himself up on his elbows, sprawled in a pile of splayed folders. A couple of loose papers flutter through the air. Still heaving in breaths, he watches as they dance and swirl and then land neatly on his lap, no earthly idea which file they came from and where they go in it .

Well.

Shit.

“Gavin?”

Oh fuck.

It’s Fritz, because of course it is, because the universe hates lawyers, or maybe just Gavin, he’s not sure.

A sudden, heavy coldness hits his core. Breath hitching, Gavin ducks his head and turns away, pulling the baseball cap even lower. Now would be a good time to spontaneously combust. Or instantly die from sudden onset cardiac arrest. At this point he’d take a golf-ball sized meteor randomly crashing through the ceiling and hitting him square in the forehead, he’s not picky. Just as long as the universe stops hating him long enough to kindly put him out of his misery.

“Gavin, is that you? And is that — is that my Dodgers cap?” Fritz’s voice stutters into an incredulous laugh at the end, and oh, this is perfect. Just perfect.

Gavin can practically feel the flush creeping up his neck, burning his face and ears. He has half a mind to bolt down the stairs, work be damned, but that still leaves him with the problem of being out in the open, exposed, unable to get inside his apartment with really nowhere else to hide. Well, okay, technically he could hide in the public bathroom in the foyer, but Fritz has already seen him dressed like a fashion-senseless hobo, so doing that would just add a rotten little cherry on top of his shame sundae. He really, really doesn’t feel like adding a rotten little cherry on top of his shame sundae.

“You okay?” Fritz asks from up above, finally having the decency to sound worried about Gavin instead of snerking up a storm at his expense.

Grimacing, Gavin swallows hard as he rolls over onto his stomach and pushes himself up to his knees. “’M fine,” he mumbles at the floor, collecting the loose papers and pulling the pile of files toward himself, trying to scrape up what’s left of his dignity in the process. Never in the course of their relationship has he ever wished that Fritz would just leave as much as he does right now. Go away, Fritz. Go away, go away, go away…

Two venti Starbucks coffee cups join the pile of papers. The lids are caked with dried coffee, solving the mystery of what new stain has joined the army of ancient set-in stains on his equally ancient Stanford shirt. It’s a miracle none of the hot coffee splashed through one of the myriad holes and burned his skin. “Here, let me help you,” Fritz says as he kneels in front of Gavin, grabbing for a splayed, upside down file folder with its contents bent at weird angles and all jumbled together.

Gavin swats his hand away. “I’ve got it, thanks” he snaps, a little more harshly than he meant to, as he grabs the file away from Fritz. To his credit, Fritz just makes a noncommittal noise and pulls his hands away, holding them up as though proving he doesn’t have any of Gavin’s papers. Swallowing, Gavin unscrunches the documents inside as best as he can and then presses the folder to his chest like a shield. He knows Fritz is just being his kind, helpful self, but still. This is exactly what he didn’t want to happen, so of course it’s happening.

Maybe he should convince himself he doesn’t want a million dollars. With his luck, he just might get it.

Gavin is reaching out to grab another topsy-turvy file folder when Fritz shifts forward, then gently cups Gavin’s face in those big, warm hands of his and makes him look Fritz in the face. Swallowing again, Gavin stares determinedly at Fritz’s smiling mouth (of course he would think this is funny) and the stubble lightly dusting his jawline, refusing to meet his gaze. Fritz just tilts Gavin’s chin up until he has to look him in the eye.

His deep brown eyes are soft and shining with warmth. Stroking Gavin’s cheeks with his thumbs, Fritz leans forward and kisses him. It’s a simple thing really, just a brush of lips against lips, not even any tongue to make it interesting, but it does the trick. All Gavin’s carefully constructed walls come tumbling down and he sighs, eyelids fluttering shut. Tossing the file folder away, he scoots across the others, careless that he’s messing them up even more, and wraps his arms around Fritz’s neck. The FBI agent’s woodsy musk washes over Gavin and he breathes it in deeply, can feel it calming his frazzled nerves.

Far too soon Fritz is pulling away. Gavin makes a little noise of disappointment in his throat at the loss of contact and leans forward to reconnect, but Fritz gently pushes him back. Still smiling, he holds Gavin at arm’s length, giving him a quick once over. Gavin fidgets under his scrutiny, easy though it is, and crosses his arms over his chest, wishing he hadn’t tossed away the file folder.

Then Fritz pecks him on the nose, chuckling as Gavin instinctively scrunches up his face at the ticklish sensation. “You look adorable,” Fritz says, flicking the rim of the ballcap with his fingertips.

Gavin snorts and sucks in his cheeks. “I look like a bum,” he says flatly, pulling back so Fritz can’t thwack the hat.

Fritz just moves with him and continues thwacking the hat. “A cute bum,” he says with a goofy grin. “I knew you had normal clothes somewhere in that huge closet of yours.”

Gavin arches a brow at that, supremely offended at the suggestion that the rags he’s currently wearing have ever besmirched the closet where he hangs his designer suits and shirts with their presence. “These are not ‘normal clothes.’ These are…are…” he flaps a hand around as though that will help him pluck the definition for what he’s wearing out of the air.

“…average? Typical? Regular?”

Gavin shoots him a sarcastic little you-can-shut-up-now smirk before Fritz the handy dandy thesaurus can list off any more synonyms.

Chuckling, Fritz relents. “So why are you wearing them?” he asks as he scoops up some files and starts smoothing out the crimped pages.

Gavin sighs as he mirrors Fritz, quickly amassing a small, neat stack of folders. “Well, I had to make a quick run to the office to get some files, and I just…didn’t have time to plan out a nice outfit.”

Fritz tilts his head at that and squints over at Gavin, eyebrows practically in his hairline. “You didn’t have time to plan out a nice outfit,” he echoes. Shifting in place, he sets aside a file and holds out his hand. “Hi, I don’t think we’ve met. My name is Fritz Howard.”

Gavin huffs, ignoring the proffered hand. “I didn’t,” he insists. “I’m just so overbooked this week, and I have so much to do, and it really was supposed to be just a quick run, so…” he trails off with a shrug, plucking at the worn hem of his coffee-stained shirt. His little spiel reminds him that he really does have a lot of work to do, ideally before tomorrow afternoon, and it’s currently in disarray all over the floor. The beginnings of a headache throb at his temples and he fights the urge to just leave the files out here and hope no one steals them and collapse back into bed.

Preferably with Fritz.

Fritz squeezes his shoulders and presses a chaste kiss to his cheek, his stubble tickling Gavin’s skin. “You know I’m just giving you a hard time because I’ve never seen you in jeans before, right?”

Never let it be said that Gavin Q. Baker ever missed such a deliciously obvious opportunity for a double entendre.

Smirking, Gavin catches Fritz before he can pull away again and draws him into a properly intimate kiss. “Mmm, yes, I do know,” he says, tangling his fingers in Fritz’s short dark hair. “And you can make it up to me —” he swipes his tongue along Fritz’s bottom lip, eliciting a groan from the FBI agent “—by giving me an equally hard time —” he tugs on Fritz’s hair, tilting his head back so he can lick and nibble along his neck “—when I’m not wearing jeans.”

Fritz gives a breathy little laugh. “I guess we’d better take this inside then,” he says, voice husky.

Gavin has never cleaned up a mess faster in his life.

-.-.-.-.-

[nxttheendxfthestxryarch2]

Tag Dump - Ships

[im-writing-under-a-pen-name]

You’d Better Make Her Love You - Bughead Imagine (Riverdale)

Imagines

Hey there everyone. It’s been a while and I’m so sorry for that, I was busy with school and finals and when it was all oficially over, I wanted to rest for some time. I know, I said that I will write soon but I didn’t felt like doing it when I should’ve. It would have been far too boring if my mood hadn’t been good. This is a Bughead imagine that I thought it would be nice to write. I’ve said it before, I ship Bughead with all my heart. I plan it to be pretty short, but I don’t know what to say until the end of it. No warnings, maybe some sweet nothings still. It’s a work of fiction, a simple story made up by me and written by me so it has nothing to do with reality. It is third person related and I’ll try stuff like that from now on. Hope you’ll enjoy it! 

PLOT: Betty Cooper had feelings for Archie Andrews since forever. The thing is, Archie has always seen her as a mere friend. So, hoping he’ll somehow manage to work it out, he introduces her to the one and only, Jughead Jones.

„Did you force her to come here? Man, why do you want this so bad?” Jughead asked, not understanding his friend. He never did … Things like this.

„I didn’t force her at all, I just think it’s time for her to meet you. You know, I couldn’t think of her otherwise than a simple friend and I’m sure she’s still feeling something for me. I don’t want her to feel hurt just because I can’t feel the same.” Archie replied as relaxed as possible. Jughead thinks he doesn’t realize it, but he gets a little exaggerated. Basically he told Betty Cooper to come at his house just to talk to him. Archie thinks it’s just fine and that Jughead will like her. But Jughead only knows Betty Cooper from short looks, he never really felt the need to talk to her. They aren’t too close because they never had the chance to get in touch. She is, maybe too shy and not as bold for Jughead’s personality. Although they have common friends, they aren’t the kind to even think differently about each other. A relationship between them two, just as Archie thinks, would be unusual. Another reason would be the fact that Betty knows some things about the dark-haired boy’s life, things that should have been for his ears and eyes only. They wouldn’t fit together, as they never had the chance to discover new things about one another’s world. And how could it be possible if they always avoided each other like they were scared of secrets and reactions? With all the conflicts between the old families of the town, being different has become a danger. The Coopers would’ve forbid their daughter to be with such an unstable guy, from all points of view. You end up being alone because having someone to cheer you up is a risk.

„And you expect me to fall in love with her or something?” Jughead’s voice intended to break the silence. „I only know how she looks like. Her voice is unfamiliar, I don’t even know what am I supposed to tell her.”

„Be her company. She’s a very good listener and she can become a great friend. Believe me. You don’t need to love her.”

„Then why did you want me to magically meet her today? I’m sorry if you feel bad for her, which is actually very lame, but honestly, I don’t know if she can stand me.” Jughead knew very well how annoying he could become. For him, a girl like Betty could never be attracted to him. Because sincerely, she’s kind of a ‚girl next door’. Mistakes aren’t allowed in her family. A lovely doll.

„If I can stand you … And let’s not forget that I’ve known you for years, then she and anyone else can stand you. My friends are your friends.” The redhead continued.

Not really. There were people who didn’t bear Jughead’s presence. A lot of them, actually. Archie was just trying to encourage him. He cannot forget that in the past, even they used to have conflicts. Their relationship wasn’t the same as it is now. It was often when Jughead felt used and rejected.

„Don’t look at me like that. You’re unbearable but you would be surprised how many people like you for real.”

„Okay, it’s enough for now, Archie. Don’t strive too much.”

„If Betty is not for you, I will not force you to spend time with her. On the other hand, I'm her best friend and I kinda betrayed her.” For Veronica Lodge, of course. In such a short time, that girl screwed Archie all the way. Well, not literally maybe. Even Mrs. Grundy has become history. She is okay and all this stuff, but as he said earlier, Jughead doesn’t have a lot of friends.

„I’m not gonna play- …” He tried to say as he was cut off by someone who was just knocking at the door.

He swallowed hard and sighed. In a few seconds, his friend spoke:

„You’d better make her love you.”

He was left alone for a few moments while Archie rushed to open for Betty. Jughead remembered what she usually looked like: she held her hair tight into a pony tail, her lips glowing from gloss and her cheeks reddening every time she did something that didn’t characterize her.

He? He would’ve shadowed her whole reputation.

„I rushed a little, I hope it's not too weird. Is Veronica …” Another voice - a feminine and much more gentle one - was what made him straighten his back on the couch he was sitting on. As soon as she stepped into the room, she stopped talking. Jughead saw a long blonde hair left loose, a pair of bright eyes and a look as harmless as possible. He felt the need to blink a few times but he resisted somehow. The girl frowned at him.

„You told me that Veronica is here too … ?” She didn’t understand what was going on, the boy guessed that right away. He couldn’t, unfortunately, get over his friend’s plan. Archie came from behind Betty and smiled vaguely.

„Jughead’s here. I think you already know him.” As soon as the redhead spoke, Jughead immediatley looked at the girl’s expression. He was surprised to see her nodding and smiling.

„Yeah, I know him. I've seen you many times with him. We also have a few classes together. Umm … Hi. I’m Elizabeth Cooper, but my friends call me Betty.” She said politely, approaching him. All the while, Jughead stood up from the couch and watched her carefully.

„I know.” He said without realizing it. „Sorry, what I meant is that I already know you. No introduction is needed.” The truth was he didn’t want Betty to have a bad impression of him. Maybe he didn’t exactly like what was going on now, though the only thing he could do was to get used to it.

„Right. It’s nice to see you Jughead.” Betty said softly. And she didn’t move in any way. Both of them began to stare subtly at each other. Of course they didn’t know what they could’ve said more. Betty didn’t even know she would see him at all.

„Hey, you don’t have to stand that way. Sit down there.” Archie urged her. Next to Jughead.

She hasn’t protested, nor did she rushed. Her movements were held back, so much that it was too remarkable. Even so, Jughead was trying his best to be gentle. He felt like getting his beanie off as it suddenly became stupid, although he couldn’t.

„So Betty, how are you?” Archie asked.

„Good, I think?” Even Betty suspected that something was wrong. It was quite observable when someone was trying to initiate a conversation. Archie tried to tell Jughead what to do, but the boy didn’t want to listen to him. It was shameful.

„I have no idea what I’m doing.” The dark-haired one muttered without wanting to be heard truly. Stress became his best friend and right now, it wasn’t a good time for him to be stressed. The blonde girl heard him though she pretended not to notice him. Neither did she had any idea of what she was doing or what was she supposed to do.

„Did you say anything, Jughead?” Archie pronounced his name bitter on purpose. He hated his monotony.  Jughead shook his head. In his mind, he was already rolling his eyes.

„Archie, what’s going on here?” It was obvious that Betty wasn’t a fool. At least, Jughead didn’t have to act somehow he wasn’t.

But none of the boys answered the question. Archie hardly kept his mouth shut. He wanted to rush the things and also, he wanted his friend to be a lone wolf no longer.

„Did I- …” Betty stuttered with sweaty palms and weak knees.

„Jughead is too damn shy to admit it so I’ll speak for him: he would absolutely love to get to know you better.” And then: „Sorry buddy, we wouldn’t have gone anywhere.”

The beanie boy lifted his hands in the air and widened his eyes. What was he doing?

„I’m not sure I understand …” The girl looked at the red-haired one and then at the brunette one who was now trying to get himself out of trouble. Archie just ruined everything.

„Don’t listen to him!” He rushed to say. „He’s messing with me, is all.”

„Erm, no, Jughead, I’m not.”

„He is. Totally.”

„He wants to ask you out but he doesn’t know how to tell you.”

„No! Betty, ignore him, I’m telling you.”

„Don’t lie, man.”

„I’m not freaking lying. You’re crazy.”

„Guys, guys, seriously. Are you okay?” Betty asked, confused. Then he leaned over to Jughead and whispered: „What is he talking about?”

Oh my God. He would say. Instead of that, he just stared into her beautiful green eyes.

Was she that nice so far?

„I’m not going to say anything. Do it yourself.” Archie defended himself while smirking in their direction.

„That’s the thing, I have nothing to say!”

„Hello?! I’m still here.” The girl was already beginning to get angry. The two boys were arguing in vain and without any sense. She felt like being an extra. It was the most difficult thing to explain. Everything had happened too fast, and Jughead would’ve felt dumb if he'd told her what his friend was thinking. Even worse, he had no choice. Not at all.

„It’ll sound silly, it will sound very, very silly.” Jughead felt stuck for a moment. He was afraid that his face turned red due to tension. Archie, on the other side, seemed entertained about what was happening. It was hilarious how his friend tried so hard to avoid any social trail and preferred still to be the highschool’s creep. Yes, he had no problem with that and just because he didn’t want attention, it didn’t mean he would never find anyone. How did Archie know that Jughead needed Betty? He was the one who believed that Betty needed someone just because she couldn’t have him.

„It can’t be that bad.” The girl said, trying somehow to confort him.

„Would you ever consider dating me?” He spilled the words out, closing his eyes afterwards.

And … Silence. No sound.

He shouldn’t have said it in any way.

No.

„It’s not like that.” Archie said, and Jughead hit him with a very threatening look.

„What?” Betty’s voice was heard again. Simple. No trace of disgust or disapproval in it.

„I know it’s crazy, I really know that. It’s not okay.”

„It is a little weird, yeah. I don’t understand why would you ask me something like that.” Well, don’t look at me, look at your best friend.

„Oh, please,” Archie burst.”Maybe he -…”

„Why do I have this sensation that this whole thing was your idea, Archie?”

Jughead remained silent. He was already clenching his jaw.

„I think you guys should talk alone. I’m gonna … I’m gonna be around here so when you’re done, just let me know. Alright? Okay.” Before anyone could act, Archie Andrews got up and disappeared from the room. No more words, it seemed like he wanted to escape faster. Was Jughead so stupid about love? But how was he? Ugh, idiot.

„Wait! Where are you going?” Betty tried to say, but by this time it was futile. As if she had nothing else to do, she turned her head back to the boy who hadn’t moved yet. Should he ask anymore questions?

„I told you it’s crazy.”

I hope that wasn’t too boring, I tried something more funny and playful. What do you think? Opinions are very appreciated, it shows me that you really liked it. Thank you for reading, dears. Don’t forget that I accept request. Go ahead and tell me what would you like me to write about. :)

[eye-burn-neon]

Well, Well, Well; Who do we have here?

Caution: RWBY Vol. 3 and Grimm Eclipse Spoilers

I’m re-watching the entire RWBY series; I just finished PvP, and I want to draw your attention to this figure right here:

This guy’s head appears directly after Penny’s eyes go dark, from 5:35 to 5:41 in the episode's video on Rooster Teeth’s YT channel. Here’s the six seconds I’m going to analyze and then rant about:

<iframe src='//gifs.com/embed/dr-merlot-s-first-appearance-in-rwby-pgxE7m' frameborder='0' scrolling='no' width='640px' height='360px' style='-webkit-backface-visibility: hidden;-webkit-transform: scale(1);' ></iframe>

This guy reminded me of someone in particular – Dr. Merlot. Now for any fans who haven’t played/seen/heard of Grimm Eclipse – y'all are missing out, BTW, it’s awesome – Dr. Melot is this crazy scientist who creates mutated Grimm. He’s basically got a couple of screws loose.

Case in point:

Let’s analyze the original photo of the unidentified figure:

So the man himself has unruly white hair that is balding at the top, tanned skin, pronounced eyebrows, and a white shirt that appears to me to be a lab coat, which is what made me think of the Evil Doctor in the first place. I note there are differences between the two, but we also haven’t seen him for a while, and people change appearance, like growing a full beard instead of a weird mustache - goatee combo. Also, self-destructing your life’s work can probably be cause enough for you to lose some hair.

Furthermore, the environment around him is clearly indoors, and reminiscent of a storage facility or hanger. There appears to be either black garage-style doors in the background, or a storage space for what could be a suit of armor -- or perhaps it’s a prototype for a new robot/fighting machine? Either way the lighting gives the space a creepy, laboratory-like feel.

The man is watching the fight take place on a video screen that projects the feed from Atlas News. I’m assuming that the reach of the Atlas tower would include any islands in the northern part of Remnant, so it’s safe to assume that this man is in that area.

From Grimm Eclipse, we know that Merlot island is remote and an unknown location, though it’s probably safe to assume it’s somewhere close-ish to the NW part of Vale, as the cargo ship RWBY stowed away on left from Forever Falls, which is located in Sanus, the region shown here:

I think after Dr. Merlot fled his island, it’s entirely possible he headed north, possibly to build a new hideaway to continue his crazy-pants work. Frankly, we don’t know where he is, so this is up in the air and completely debatable.

Now let’s go back to the man himself:

Let’s look at the clip from a cinematography perspective: the first shot is one of the back of his head, which could indicate:

he’s just watching the telly

the intent is to have a air of mystery about him, to keep his identity a secret.

I’m inclined to believe the latter because there are TWO clips of this man. The second is just of his hand:

The camera focuses on this hand long enough to see it clench. Why would there be a wasted shot of a random man’s hand clenching unless viewers are supposed to be shown that he’s upset about Penny’s death? On that note, I would like to make the following conclusion:

Dr. Merlot built Penny.

I’m going to have to do a lot of analysis here, so buckle up.

In Vol. 2, Chapter 3: A Minor Hiccup Penny tells Ruby “I've never been to another kingdom before. My father asked me not to venture out too far, but, oh you have to understand, my father loves me very much. He just worries a lot.” Merlot seemed very fond of his mutated Grimm, so I would imagine he would be just as fond of Penny; if he built her, she may just be his greatest achievement, and he wouldn’t want her to be compromised or fail.

When Ruby asks why she didn’t let them know she was okay after the fight at the end of the first Volume, Penny responds “I, was asked, not to talk to you. Or Weiss... or Blake... or Yang. Anybody really.” If Dr. Merlot is indeed Penny’s father, he would be angry about their interference on his island, but probably has no way to lash out in revenge without raising suspicion, so he just told Ironwood to keep Penny away from team RWBY (I’ll get to the Ironwood thing in a minute).

"Was your dad that upset?" Ruby asks. Penny hesitantly replies "No, it wasn't my father." Penny then becomes uncomfortable watching the military's presentation. "Maybe we should go somewhere else..." After the truck incident, Penny finally confides in Ruby and tells here in the next episode that “Most girls are born, but I was made. I'm the world's first synthetic person capable of generating an aura." I can’t even begin to imagine how that technology would work, but if Dr. Merlot can do freaky things combining dust and grimm, I think he’s the most likely candidate to be able to combine a soul and a machine into a cohesive unit.

After Penny has exhibited her strength and power multiple times, Ruby says during a crushing hug, “I can see why your father would want to protect such a delicate flower!” Penny says "Oh, he's very sweet. My father's the one that built me! I’m sure you would just love him!” (After the analysis I’ve done thus far, I have to say that, unfortunately, she probably wouldn’t, Penny.)

The next part of their conversation makes me veeerry curious:

R: “Wow, he built you all by himself?”

P: “Well almost, he had some help from Mr. Ironwood.”

R: “The general? Wait, is that why those soldiers were after you?”

P: “They like to protect me too!”

R: “Pfft. They don’t think you can protect yourself?”

P: “They're not sure if I'm ready yet. One day, it will be my job to save the world. But I still have a lot left to learn. That's why my father let me come to the Vytal festival. I want to see what it’s like in the rest of the world, and test myself in the tournament.”

R: “Penny, what are you talking about? Save the world from what? We’re in a time of peace.”

P: “That’s not what Mr. Ironwood said.”

So we know that General Ironwood is on the whole maiden-secret-society shindig, so we presume he’s a ‘good’ guy. I’m sure you’re asking yourself, Now why would Dr. Merlot, a crazy scientist who’s probably a global criminal, be working with the general of an army? I, too, wondered about that, and I think that the most likely explanation is that Ironwood already knew Dr. Merlot; he trusts him. We know Ironwood has robotic prosthetics; his right arm, leg, part of his torso, and right forehead are all made of metal. The piece on his forehead makes me think that part of the damage may have been in his brain, which could be a tricky area to repair. Perhaps Ironwood’s cyborg-like parts were manufactured by Dr. Merlot, who, despite turning to questionable research methods, was a brilliant scientist. Knowing this, Ironwood could which could have led him to turn to the doctor, despite any charges against him. Dr. Merlot could still have a secret vendetta; I think it would be awesome if he resurfaces and is in league with Salem and her squad. I imagine he would have a high interest in the nature of maiden’s powers -- OOH WAIT Ironwood supplied the machines to do the aura transfer from Amber to Pyrrha! Connecting that with Penny’s aura, perhaps Dr. Merlot had dedicated his studies to that of auras, in order to keep under the radar and continue his work.

I look forward to future volume of RWBY to see if Dr. Merlot resurfaces I just hope he doesn’t turn out to be as aura-ble as he was in Grimm Eclipse!

--

K, that got a lot longer than I intended. But that’s good, I found more evidence to support my theory and developed it further. Even if it turns out to be completely wrong (that’s the beauty of a show’s plot development), this was fun to make!

Do you agree with my evidence, or do you have another theory as to the unidentified man’s identity and/or Dr. Merlot’s current whereabouts and motivation? Let me know what you think!

[sillystringlouis]

girl please answer all of those 1D questions. all of them

Bless you. Thank you.1: When did you first realize how much you love One Direction? November of 2013

2: Who's your favourite and why? Niall. He’s just made of sunshine. I love his voice. I love that he contributes his guitar playing to the band. I love that he’s everyone in the bands’ best friend. I love how much he cares. I also love that he’s been open with his struggles with things like claustrophobia. I love that he makes sure to tell us how he is. I love so much about Niall.

3: Who's your least favourite and why? Can I say Zayn? Cuz he’s been a bit of a dick since he left the band.

4: Name four things that remind you of your favourite. Sunshine. Guitars. Harry Potter. Anything Irish.

5: What do your friends and family think of your love for One Direction? They’ve accepted it lol. But sometimes judge me for it.

6: What's your earliest One Direction related memory? Well my earliest clear memory is Leakycon 2013 when I was ragging on my friends for loving 1D so much. I wasn’t a fan for the first couple years, I’ll be honest. 

7: Are you sometimes embarrassed of liking the boys? Hell no. You gotta love what you love, man. 

8: Do you like the boys mainly for their music? Yes. It’s fun. And listening to their music, giving it a chance, is how I started liking them. 

9: What's your favourite tattoo on each of the boys? Oh god. I don’t even know anymore. I’ve lost track of their tattoos. Lets go with the screw for all of them. Because cute.

10: What's your 1D order? Niall, Harry, Louis, Liam, (Zayn)

11: Name three of your favourite funny moments. Bro I don’t even know anymore. They make me giggle too often to pick 3. 

12: What are your five favourite songs? Never Enough, Walking In The Wind, Fireproof, Where do Broken Hearts Go, Don’t Forget Where You Belong. But ask me tomorrow and they might be different. I love so many of their songs so much.

13: What's your favourite album and why? Made In The AM. I loved how much they wrote themselves of the album. And I love how chill of an album it is. 

14: Is there a One Direction song that makes you cry? I used to cry during Little Things. But not so much anymore.

15: Is there a One Direction song that you can't stand at all? Would people kill me if I said What Makes You Beautiful? Because yeah. No thank you.

16: Favourite music video? Drag Me Down

17: Least favourite music video? You and I

18: What's your favourite hairstyle on Harry? I’m a sucker for his long hair. He rocked it.

19: What's your favourite hairstyle on Zayn? AMAs. That ONE TENDRIL OF HAIR FALLING DOWN. Y’all know what I’m talking about.

20: Do you get nostalgic over fetus One Direction or do you think they're hotter now? Hotter now. I’m a fucking 23 year old woman. No fetus 1D please.

21: Which of the boys would you want to get drunk with? All of them, TBH. Depends on what I was looking for. If I wanted to get drunk and CHILL? Niall. If I wanted to get drunk and party - Louis and Liam. If I wanted to get drunk and have crazy conversations? Harry.

22: Which of the boys would you want to have a movie night with? Niall. Potter Movie Marathon. Lets go.

23: Which of the boys would you want to go shopping with? Oh Harry for sure. Best fashion sense of the lot of them.

24: Which of the boys would you want to have really rough and kinky sex with? Goddamn. Fuck me. Zayn. Probably.

25: Which of the boys would you want as your best friend? Niall.

26: If the boys were animals, which boy would be which animal? I hate these sorts of questions. 

27: If the boys were a song ( not a One Direction song ), which song would which boy be? And these.

28: Sort the boys into Hogwarts Houses. This I’ll do. Niall is a Hufflepuff. Louis is a hatstall between Gryffindor and Slytherin and ultimately would end up in Gryffindor (he reminds me of Sirius Black. Which is high praises from me. Even though I know Sirius wouldn’t have ever been a Slytherin. But anyway). Liam is a Gryffindor. Harry is a Hufflepuff. And Zayn is a Ravenclaw. 

29: Is there something you dislike about the boys as a band? The fact that they’re STILL ON HIATUS? GOD.

30: Which of the boys is the best boyfriend? Niall. Thoughtful, sweet, and loyal. Niall would be a kick ass boyfriend. 

31: Which boy is which fictional character? ( Book / Movie / TV- Show ) Meh. Still not into these sorts of questions.

32: Which boy is the most like you personality-wise? Oh god. Louis maybe? Snappy and outgoing but a little self conscious? Yeah. 

33: Do your friends like One Direction? Some do, some don’t. 

34: To how many of their concerts of have you been? Oh god. 17. Listen. I followed them to the UK and saw half the tour for their last tour. 6 straight shows at the O2. I was at all of them. 3 shows in Sheffield. Again - there. 

35: Blond or brunett Niall? Brunett

36: What would you get your favourite for christmas? LOLOL nothing. Maybe tickets to a show or something. Here’s the thing. 1D can buy anything they want. I’d have to be thoughtful and shit and I don’t know them well enough to give them good thoughtful gifts.

37: Describe your dream-date with your fav. Booze and good food while at a Blackhawks game. Cuz you best believe I’ll make Niall into a hockey fan and make him support the right team.

38: Describe your dream- wedding with your fav. I’ve never been the type to imagine such a thing. Sorry. But yeah.

39: Would you want kids with your fav? How many? How would you name them? Again - I’ve never been into imagining such a thing. I know I’ll never date my fave so why bother?

40: Have you ever felt like you're losing interest in the boys? Yeah. But it comes back. I ebb and flow in my fanship of things.

41: You hear One Direction in public- do you go off or pretend not to care? Go off if I can. But usually I’m working when I hear them lol. They play at my work all the time :)

42: Do you have any posters? A couple but not up

43: Do you like the film This Is Us? I’m watching it right now lol. Or listening to it while I answer these. I love it

44: Do you have any merch? A few things. mostly tshirts. And the headband bow. And things like that

45: Do you think the way the boys act in public is how they really are? To a degree but not entirely. They’re public figures. Just like any other public figure they’ll never be fully themselves out and about.

46: Do you believe in Larry and other conspiracy theories? Fuck no. Get out of here with that Larry bullshit. Let Louis live. I could go OFF about how fucking disrespectful some Larries are about Louis and his child. But I won’t right now. 

47: Which of the boys' girlfriends do you like the most? I never really form opinions on any of them because like. It’s not my life or my place to say anything.

48: Did you ever hate on a female associated with the boys? Nah. Not at all

49: Favourite ship? Narry

50: Favourite bromance? LiLo

51: What's your favorite fanfic? I couldn’t tell you offhand. But there was a Narry fic, I forget what it’s called, where Niall and Harry ended up forming a duo after the band split up. And it was awesome. 

52: Do you read a lot of smut? Used to. Less so now.

53: Describe your favourite dirty fantasy with your fav. Again - with the imagining unrealistic things lol

54: If you got to spend an entire day with your fav, what would you do? Go to the HP WB studio tour then see Hamilton. :) 

55: If you were a One Direction song, which song would you be? Midnight Memories

56: Would you rather get high with Zayn or see a movie with Liam? See a movie with Liam

57: Would you rather go ice-skating with Harry or play Monopoly with Niall? Both. I can’t pick between ice skating and Monopoly lolol

58: Would you rather stroll through London with Louis or hang in Los Angeles with Harry? London with Louis

59: Would you rather sleep with Niall once or go on three dates with Zayn? Sleep with Niall

60: Favourite Louis moment? Him performing on X Factor just recently. He’s so brave, that wonderful boy.

61: Favourite Niall moment? Every moment ever. 

62: Favourite Harry moment? Also every moment ever.

63: Favourite Zayn moment? When he tweeted Louis his condolences then showed up in London with the rest of the boys to support Louis.

64: Favourite Liam moment? Snake Habitat. 

65: Has your fav always been your fav? Nope. But I cycled through pretty quickly to get to Niall

66: If you were to pick an outfit for your fav, what would you get him? I really dig when he wears Alexander McQueen tshirts. Stylish but casual.

67: If you were a tattoo artist, what would you make Niall's first tattoo? The screw. Next question.

68: Talk about the three things you like the most about your favourite. Didn’t I already do this? 

69: Talk about your favourite's sense of humour. Dumb. I love it.

70: Talk about your favourite's face and why you love it. His smile. HIS SMILE MAKES ME WEAK. Okay? Okay.

71: Talk about your favourite's body. Gorgeous but not too buff. Which is rad.

72: Do you like the way your fav dresses? Yeah he’s fine lol.

73: When was your fav the hottest? When was his prime? Right now

74: Which of the boys would you rob a bank with? Louis. 

75: Which of the boys would you tell your darkest secret? Niall

76: Which of the boys would you avoid to get in a fight with? Liam. Boy is strong

77: If you saw your fav in public, would you run after him or leave him alone for good? Leave him alone if I couldn’t meet him without making a scene about it and make people mob him

78: What kind of fan-pic would you like to take with your fav? hugging pics are my faves.

79: Have you ever spammed your fav on Twitter? Nah. That’s annoying.

80: What do you like the most about Liam? How warm and loving he is.

81: What do you like the most about Zayn? His bravery. He faced a lot of adversity.

82: What do you like the most about Harry? His silly side. He lets loose nicely.

83: What do you like the most about Niall? How he brightens every room he is in.

84: What do you like the most about Louis? How he feels like he could be your best friend and how much he cares for his friends.

85: Favourite AU? Meh

86: Which of the boys would make the prettiest girl? Zayn proved he does. 

87: Which of the boys will make the best husband? Niall again.

88: Which of the boys will make the best dad? Louis IS the best dad

89: Which of the boys is most likely to be a succesful solo artist after 1D? I wouldn’t have necessarily said this before, despite how much I love Niall. But now I’ll say Niall. His music is gonna be super chill and rad and played on radios everywhere. I’m so pleased.

90: Have you ever had a carrot phase? Nah that was before my time.

91: Is 17 year old Harry overrated? No age of Harry is overrated.

92: Red suspender- Louis or weed smoking bad boy Louis? Both. They’re both very special and important parts of his being. Red suspender Louis was a young and innocent and more carefree Louis. Weed smoking bad boy Louis has toughened up some. He’s still warm and lovely. But he’s also more fiercely protective and mature. 

93: Did you watch 1D Day? Talk about your experience. Yep. Well. Some. I was also at work some. That was about a week into me being a fan of 1D so it was...an experience lol

94: Narry or Zouis? Narry

95: Ziam or Ziall? Ziall

96: Did you ever make fan art? nah.

97: Do you write fics? Nope

98: Do you think you'll get over the band one day? Maybe. But that’s okay if I do. I love the time that I’ve loved them.

99: What's a One Direction related memory you will never forget? Literally flying to London for them? And meeting some wonderful people because of them. Also meeting Louis was pretty amazing. 

100: Talk about the first time you really noticed the boys. I mean. Noticed how? You’d have to live under a rock to not notice them after X Factor. But I finally let myself start liking them about 4 days before Midnight Memories leaked :)

THANK YOU FOR THIS. FUN TO TAKE A TRIP DOWN MEMORY LANE!

[nxttheendxfthestxryarch2]

You're really dating that goth chick? Nobody even knows her name, Kai. Not like it matters, she's just some freak, like the rest of those "normal" kids. How do you know she isn't playing you for fun?

Kai growls, snapping his pencil when he slams it on the desk. "Her name is Kenna, and I'm more than happy to make sure anyone who feels stupid enough to say that to me gets it through their skull by any means necessary, now would you like to try me today?"