#ship: egg sandwich squad

[sshoujo-ais]

when it comes to like directly f/o or f/o related tattoos i pretty much only want 4?

theres serana that im getting, i also want the ram skull that rebecca has (but like not on my ribs bc ouchie and also its so fucking big and would pretty much just be all blackwork. but i have other plans for it). then i want like a harley quinn themed queen of diamonds playing card above my ankle (so when i put my socks on it looks like the card is in my sock like i was cheating with it) and finally i want the

do you see that tiny flower on the right?

well i want that flower on my hand

[levi-venn]

Cross and Crow

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 (Final) Available also on AO3

The Mount Tantiss cell where they kept Crosshair had a window, fortified with durasteel bars and a view that showed an indifferent blue sky with thin, half-hearted clouds.

The bastard scientists said the window was a show of kindness.

Crosshair found it cruel. 

The view told him very little of his surroundings. He was facing North, two levels above ground. There was a docking bay to the East. No air traffic besides the occasional Imperial freighter carrying supplies.

He hated the view.

His eyes would snap to any movement outside, his heart betraying him with painful lurches, hoping that one of those damn supply ships would be the Marauder. His brothers swooping in to his rescue, forgetting every cruel thing he had said and done to them. End his nightmare. Take him back.

After two weeks of false hopes and bitter heartache, he sacrificed his thin blanket to cover the window.

Fuck them, he decided. They abandoned me first, anyway.

On that first blanketless night, his sleep was broken. He shivered through fractured dreams of a remote outpost, Mayday in his arms, staggering towards the warm light in the distance that seemed to drift farther away the longer he walked. 

“Almost there…” He lied to his brother. “Hang on…Just a little farther.”

***

The next day, sunlight burst into the cell with laser precision, blinding him with thoughtless cheer. Crosshair snarled awake, squinting at the window. 

There were holes in the blanket. It looked like the cheese he’d pull off his sandwiches and toss to Wrecker, only to have Tech point out the importance of calcium in Crosshair's diet.

He pulled back the blanket and peered out the window. The sky was empty. Even the clouds had abandoned him. 

Still…something made these holes. 

Breakfast came soon after. They fed him generously. Wanted him healthy for the experiments that came at him every three days. 

He collected a piece of bread, a few bits of whatever the Empire considered "sausage", and a clump of egg whites. He placed the offerings on the sill. 

At worst, ants would come.

At best...

The crow swooped in immediately, soundlessly landing, but cawing bombastically in Crosshair’s face. He nearly fell backwards into his cell. 

He growled back at the corvid.

The crow ignored him and pecked at the food experimentally before accepting the eggs, knocking the bread and sausage back into the cell. 

On training missions off-world, Crosshair would birdwatch through his rifle's scope. First out of boredom, then out of fascination. Birds didn’t thrive on Kamino so any chance he could, his scope would search for these creatures that took for granted the stormless skies.

More often than not, Hunter would toss something at him, pulling his brother’s focus back to their training. Once Crosshair deflected the pebble Hunter threw at him and it pinged Wrecker in the head. Wrecker turned and slapped the datapad out of Tech's hands. Tech, fuming at being wrongfully accused, tackled Wrecker and Hunter dove in to break them up. Crosshair sat in his perch, pleased with himself at the chaos below while above him two territorial hummingbirds fought over a tree too big for either of them.

The squad got black marks on their record that day. It was worth it. 

After eating the eggs, the crow tilted its head left, then right, thoroughly examining Crosshair in every direction it could turn its large, midnight head. After its studies were complete, it flapped noisily away, leaving two black feathers behind. 

Crosshair kept the feathers hidden under his pillow.

He didn’t know why.

The crow didn’t return for the rest of the day.

But Crosshair started looking out the window again. 

Three days went by. 

A full day of experiments. Poking. Prodding. Gassing. Drugging. Restraining. Isolating. Breaking. Rebuilding. 

By nightfall he was dragged back to his cell without being told why they did any of it. They owed him no explanation.

And if I knew, would it be better? Worse?

They gave him stew. He could barely stomach smelling it. 

Fighting the tremors in his hands, he plucked a piece of potato, shredded meat, and a few beans from the bowl and climbed onto his bed to the window. He placed the offering, then passed out onto his mattress, dead to the world.

The next day he awoke to a shrill caw. 

His heart leapt in a dangerous way. He didn’t want to feel this. He didn’t want to experience a reprieve from this nightmare, a joy that could be ripped away at any moment. The crow was just a scavenger, a hungry opportunist. Eventually, it would move on and Crosshair would be alone again. 

The crow looked at him and he scowled back. 

It ate a bean. 

It ate some meat. 

It rolled the potato back into the room and onto Crosshair’s bed, which- 

Wait...no...

Crosshair blinked. It wasn’t a potato the crow had give him. 

It was a pinecone. Young. Unfurled. A little green. 

When he looked up again, the crow was gone. 

He hid the pinecone under his pillow, next to the two feathers. 

He didn’t know why.

***

Dreams were more dangerous than hope. On nights after an experiment, he was usually too exhausted to dream. But this night he had pulled the pinecone from beneath his pillow. He clutched it as he slept.

And he dreamt of an ocean. 

Loud waves crashing against the sturdy pillars of Kamino’s science facility. Crosshair and his brothers, too young to be soldiers and old enough to know better, sat preciously on a ledge overlooking the endless sea. They snacked from a tin of biscuits Tech and Hunter had stolen as a “stealth exercise”.

Crosshair balanced the tin lid on his finger and spun it for Wrecker, who giggled and clapped, getting biscuit crumbs everywhere.

Hunter said something to Crosshair, but the words were lost under the roar of relentless waves. Crosshair tried to shout back, but his words turned into a shrill-

Caw! Caw!

Crosshair snapped awake, his cheeks cold and wet. 

He hissed and wiped the tears away, squinting up at the crow who was waiting for breakfast, beak pressed through the bars impatiently. 

Breakfast came in the form of pastry discs, eggs, strips of meat that weren’t bacon. 

The crow seemed to like the eggs best. Crosshair added more to the sill.

They ate together. 

And the crow rolled another trinket onto Crosshair’s bed.

A piece of white plastoid. 

It joined the pair of feathers beneath Crosshair’s pillow.

The pinecone stayed with Crosshair as he slept at night. It helped him sleep. It kept nightmares away. 

He didn’t know why.

***

More experiments. Suffocating. Burning. Freezing. Breaking. Rebuilding. 

When he was dragged back to his cell, he saw food was waiting for him. Some sort of egg hash, leftovers from the morning. 

Egg will be pleased.

He left his offering on the sill for Egg, then he and the pinecone slept.

Too exhausted to dream, Crosshair woke to the sound of two loud caws. Always two.

Good morning.

Crosshair added more eggs to the sill and a piece of the terrible bacon. 

Egg pecked at the bacon suspiciously, letting out a little disgruntled cluck that made Crosshair’s lips to twitch unexpectedly. 

He didn’t smile. But he wasn’t scowling.

The tense knot of hopelessness was loosening in Crosshair’s chest as if Egg had been pecking at it each morning, fraying his sanity, giving him false peace. 

Throw the tray at the window, he begged himself. Bang the cup on the bars. Shoo Egg - shoo the crow - away before reality kicks in. You’re in here. Egg’s out there. One day, he won’t come back. 

Crosshair stared at his tray. It shook in his hands.

Do it. Get it over with. 

But then something clattered on the tray.

Crosshair stared at the object. 

Too late. Sanity gone. This isn’t real. It can’t be. I want this too much. 

A piece of crudely crafted wood, a message carved in. 

[Look down]

Crosshair stared at the words, struggling to keep his hope smothered.

[Look down]

He knew that handwriting. Meticulous. Precise. By a hand that taught Crosshair how to write, that comforted him when the thunder was too loud and the lightning too bright, that would ball into a fist when regs teased him about his hair, his lankiness, his uniqueness.

Crosshair climbed onto his bed.

Both he and Egg looked down together.

Crosshair hadn’t spoken in months, but there was no one else in the galaxy he wanted to speak to more than his brother at this moment. 

With a raspy hiss he asked: “Where the hell are your goggles?”

Part Two: Tech and Crow

[torchickentacos]

Out of Context Tag!

Hello! I was tagged to do this by @maybenow22, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR GIVING ME THIS OPPORTUNITY!!! 

Rules:  The rules for this tag-game are as follows: Include one character quote — of your choosing ⁠— from each chapter of your WIP (or as many chapters as you'd like). Give absolutely no context, save for what's between two parts of an interrupted sentence, should that occur. You may mention who said it.

.........Except as I copy paste this out I realize I read it entirely wrong hours ago because I was so excited and I did one quote per CHARACTER instead of per CHAPTER, and I spent too much time picking something for everyone to back out now, so... out of context quotes, one per character? New tage game I guess, whoops? Anyways, this is open to everyone since I changed the rules on accident and I just like having them be open, but @lmaoirrelevant @chikoritadave @maybenow22 @ everyone else in new jersey, maybe you guys would want to do my accidental new version of this! Either way, enjoy these quotes from Hell in a Honda! Reblogs are fine if you want. 

Oh, boy. There’s a lot of characters and a lot of quotes to go through here. Also, not every character is here because there’s just too many of them, so here’s everyone in the car. Everyone is at least 20. Some of this may not make the final cut, I never know. 

Brock: “All of you, cut it out. There will be no kissing, fucking, marrying, or killing in this car, unless I drive us off of a cliff and kill everyone, which I am SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING.”

Ash:  “Um, not sure where to start. I met god once or twice and saved him from dying, does that count?”

Misty: “SUCK IT, OAK! FIFTY BUCKS!”

Gary: “Kiss me, huh? And why was that such an easy decision?”

Tracey: “It was a blessing in disguise. Don’t worry. Kiawe picked me up.”

May: “What? I’m not a Rihanna person, I just know a good song when I hear it. Not my fault that she’s into some freaky stuff.” 

Drew: “Honestly, it scares the fuck out of me, but with the amount of time we’ve spent whispering to eachother right now, I think that everyone’s ship of reasonable doubt has sailed, so…”

Harley: “Execution by firing squad, mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, and no divorce. You’re stalling! Just answer the damn question!”

Max: “Yeesh. That’s gotta be some sort of record.”

Dawn: “Why’s nobody this invested in my love life?”

Paul: He is silent the entire time. 

Barry:  “No way, I’m burning up over here! I’m all squished against Dawn and she’s like a human heating pad-I will FINE YOU if you turn the heat up!”

Cilan: “Alright, let me make sure I’ve got this straight. May, Clemont, and Paul are asleep and don’t have an order, but May can just eat everyone’s leftovers when she’s hungry because she doesn’t care who eats before her, which is gross but moving on. Brock, you don’t want anything. Drew and Lillie, you both just want coffee-Drew, cappuccino, Lillie, Mocha. Max and Bonnie, kid’s meals with fries even though you’re both seventeen. Hey, don’t look at me like that! Not judging. Lana, Fillet-o-fish with no cheese. Chloe, Misty, and Goh, Egg McMuffin. Harley, Tracey, Dawn, and Sophocles, chicken sandwich. Wait, Brock, pull over, I’m not ready yet-”

Clemont: “Paul, I don’t think nokias even support hotspots.”

Bonnie: “Awwwww, guys! He finally grew a pair!”

Serena: “OH DEAR!” 

Lillie: “That’s a little… vulgar.”

Sophocles: “You know they both die at the end of Romeo and Juliet, which the song is based on, right?”

Mallow: “Never call it that ever again, please.”

Lana: “Too bad, Gerard Way.”

Gladion: “I don’t even like My Chemical Romance that much-”

Goh: “I want no part in any of this.”

Chloe: “How are you doing? Other than the migraine and rear-view mirror romcom kiss scene reenactment jumpscares?” 

[thebrightsessions]

Entertainment Spotlight: Ian McQuown

Ian is an LA based actor and producer known for the YouTube comedy group, Extremely Decent, as well as a voice actor in the popular audio dramas: The Bright Sessions, The AM Archives, StarTripper!! & Deck The Halls! His credits inclue American Housewife, Trial & Error, Better Things, and For All Mankind. Ian took the time to answer some questions for us. Check it out:

You’ve worked on multiple podcasts -- what drew you to the medium?

Well, to be honest, Lauren drew me to it because TBS was my first narrative podcast. We met at a Rocky Horror Picture Show show. Anna Lore is our mutual friend and I think Anna is just talented as all get out, so anything she’s involved I want to be in. And, I don’t know, it was just one of those lucky breaks you get where a door opens and takes you to all these cool places you never anticipated.

On podcasting though, I really appreciate how much more possible it is to tell engaging stories without the boundaries of having to afford a set and a camera and insurance and etc etc etc. Like, I grew up with Star Wars, The Matrix, Cowboy Bebop— so when I imagine the stories I like, I’m usually picturing other worlds, space ships, people with super powers and those types of stories used to have a lot higher barrier to entry to make than they do now, which is just awesome.

If you could give a character from The Bright Sessions a spinoff series, who would you choose and what would the series be called?

I mean, no surprises here, but I’d love to see Damien’s early years. And I’d be super clever and call it something like... Damien: The Early Years. I'm dying for that content a little bit actually: Damien, before he became such a bad guy. Maybe a love story that doesn’t work out and leaves him really scarred? Villains so bad they created a villain instead of a victim—  that moment where we see the two roads Damien has to choose between and it totally shreds us when he makes the choice we all know he’s going to make, I mean, come ON you can see that, right? It’d be like the Star Wars prequels but without all the youngling killing and “NOOOOOOOO”’s and I want it.

Can you share a fun story or anecdote from the making of The Bright Sessions?

Haha, ok well it’s not really anything of note BUT: I remember Lauren had this area rug in her room, which as you probably know is where we would record, and it was this really nice, I think, red sort of floral rug that took up pretty much all the floor space because it was covering up the older apartment rug-floor underneath it. And it was, as I said, really cool, except it wasn’t a rug on a wood floor, right? It was a rug on a rug so it was a bit taller than the people who designed the room had planned for— the result of which was that you’d walk in and the room had this really awesome little vibe with this cute rug, and it was all very cozy, unless you looked directly behind you at the corner where the door had just spent ages scraping the surface of it, catching the corner, tearing little pieces out. And I may be getting apocryphal at this point, but I feel like by the time I had started coming around Lauren had straight up duct taped it to the floor, which really didn’t help the problem. And, I don’t know—again it’s not really anything momentous—but I just remember giving Lauren a particular amount of shit about it one day and us all having a really good laugh. And I really love that— there are jobs where you show up, keep your head down, do your work and leave, but then there are jobs like The Bright Sessions where you all get to become friends, and even if you don’t see each other for a while you sort of just get to pick up where you left off. And then those jobs turn into other jobs and you get to keep hanging out with your friends and peers and just making stuff you like— I’m a big fan of that.

If your life was a choose your own adventure, what decisions would viewers have to make on an average day?

OKAY, you wake up...

Water your garden before it gets to be 110 today, you cannot skip this step. You may however:

A) Stay out in the garden for longer if you get inspired and check if the tomatoes and peppers are ripe for picking.

Great! Now let’s make breakfast:

A) Make eggs, toast, fried tomatoes, and hash browns? 

B) Make (A) But also with Bacon? 

C) Make a smoothie?

D) There’s no time today, run to Whole Foods and get their incredibly priced $6 Egg, Bacon Cheese Breakfast burrito.

Awesome! You’ve eaten and now you can think. What work do you have to do?

A) Prep your audition, dummy! It’s due this afternoon, go fix your hair. 

B) You have a zoom meeting with actor friends at 11 to play around with some new material, put on a hat.

C) There is nothing you have to work on so stare at your computer and wonder if there’s new project you could be working on. Try to find that project, leave your hair as it.

Wow! You really had a great (insert previous choice here), let’s get you a coffee and take a TV break. What should we watch?!

A) That new show you haven’t seen yet because you need to watch everything so you know how to work on it should you get an audition for it.

B) Harley Quinn (your favorite new cartoon).

C) Teenage Bounty Hunters.

D) Farscape.

E) Nope, you just got an audition for tomorrow, everything is off the table, start working on it (Level Complete).

Lunch Time!!!

A) Turkey sandwich with pickles from the garden?

B) Trader Joe’s Margherita Pizza with basil and peppers from the garden?

C) Are we going to start another loaf of sourdough you basic mf?

D) Yes we probably are, but also (A) and (B).

Cool! I’ve eaten lunch. Now what?

A) You haven’t finished that work from this morning. Riiiight.

B)…More Harley Quinn…?

C) Let’s make pasta from scratch!

D) Let’s make ribs! From…ribs!

F) You just got an audition for tomorrow, everything is off the table, start working on it. (Level Complete).

Bangarang! You probably chose to start cooking dinner immediately after eating lunch. You ate it (and it rocked), what now?

A) You just got an audition for tomorrow, everything is off the table, start working on it. (Level Complete)

B) DnD with squad.

C) Go on a run, dude— you’re getting a Jaba chin….

D) Bring on the chin! Let’s watch TV until 2am! Here are your options:

A) Harley Quinn (your new favorite cartoon)

B) Teenage Bounty Hunters

C) Farscape

D) Put The Office on in the background and clean your house.

Level Complete.

As you can see I’m a very food-focused person. Also, I’m going to be real, that is truly what most of my days look like and I’m low-key a little mortified that ’taking a shower’ wasn’t a game option... 

Can you share your favorite piece of Bright Sessions / AM Archives fan art?

I love all the fan art that people make for my characters but this one from Franartz has always been really special to me. It’s so GQ, I just love it — and some of my favorite early AG moments are with Damien, who looks a little like he stepped out of a Gorrilaz album here— big fan. I’m a little obsessed with fan art actually, I save everything I come across— there’s a freckled red-headed series of Owen by TheFigureInTheCorner that makes me really happy. Seeing that my work has inspired someone else to make something of their own is really what’s up, you know? It makes me think about all the art and entertainment that has touched me over the years and I get a lot of joy from being a part of that cycle.

Thanks for taking the time, Ian! Give I Can Die When I'm Done a relisten right here.

[thecarlosramos]

Time Squad’s Adam & Eve Ep

...so back when we started, Dave and I wrote our Time Squad scripts like books. We quickly learned Final Draft once Michael Karnow was hired and set us straight. Here’s an ep that was never made. I believe I wanted Tommy Chong to play Adam but I remember Dave thinking he was too obvious a choice.

This is my thank you to all the TS fans <3

©️®️

In Dagada Da Vida

We open on the satellite where we see a montage of different rooms and corridors as the sound of a dollar bill being inserted and rejected from a candy machine is heard echoing through the ship. We then see Tuddrussel calmly entering a futuristic looking dollar into the candy machine’s money insertor as it once again spits it out. We see Tuddrussel’s reflection in the window as he licks his chops while eyeing a shrink-wrapped donut. We cut back to see him calmly step back off screen. We then hear the sound of a full run as Tuddrussel re enters with a scream as he tackles the machine. We cut back to a hallway as Larry and Otto come out of their rooms to the sounds of laser blasts and screaming. They both run and turn a corner to the sight of Tuddrussel standing over the smoldering candy machine triumphantly holding his laser gun as his chest heaves up and down.

“Oh, hey guys.” Tuddrussel says out of breath.

“Wha…what are you doing?” Otto asks.

“Just getting a donut.” Tuddrussel says as he reaches into the broken glass and pulls out a packaged donut. He then begins to unwrap it with all his strength, which then leads to him biting and clawing at the plastic cover. He then throws it down and blasts it with his phaser. We cut back to Larry and Otto as they shield their faces from the laser fire. Tuddrussel again is left standing in the charred hallway with his chest heaving.

“Hey, it’s gonna be alright.” Otto says as he slowly takes Tuddrussel’s hand while Larry cautiously removes his phaser from his other hand.

“Now, you didn’t need all that junk food after all. I’ll make you a nice healthy breakfast.” Larry says cautiously.

“Doesn’t that sound nice.” Otto says in a kindly tone.

“Stupid donut.” Tuddrussel says under his breath.

We then see Otto standing in the kitchen with Larry as he looks at Tuddrussel squeezing two stress-balls in his hands.

“Calm blue ocean, calm blue ocean, calm blue…” Tuddrussel chants quietly while swaying back and forth at the breakfast table.

“Larry, I’m a little worried about Tuddrussel. He’s seems a little…stressed lately.” Otto says as Larry wears a chef hat and cooks diligently.

“A little, ha! His blood pressure is through the roof. All he really needs is a good hot breakfast though. Go out and talk to him while I finish these ‘eggs ala bolognese’. Now shoo!” Larry says while pushing Otto into the dining room. Otto takes a seat next to Tuddrussel.

“Hi buddy, how ya feelin'?” Otto asks Tuddrussel.

“Pretty good, oh you mean…with the donut? Oh that was nothing! I was just a little hungry.” Tuddrussel says blowing off the entire incident.

“Oh, well that’s good ‘cause Larry’s making a great breakfast!” Otto says relieved. Just then Larry comes out of the kitchen carrying two covered silver platters and sets then down lovingly in front of Otto and Tuddrussel. Larry then lifts the lids off the trays revealing Tuddrussel and Otto’s expressions as Otto smiles and Tuddrussel goes from a happy face to a grimace as they look at a very fancy mixed assortment of food oddities.

“What’s this?” Tuddrussel says disgusted as he runs his fork through a runny egg in a piecrust.

“Why that’s ‘gruere preschutto quiche’ in a plumb sauce glaze! It was King Philip of the Vector quadrant’s favorite dish.” Larry says with a smile.

“Larry, what about this dish?” Otto asks while cautiously cutting into a fish plate.

“Oh that’s a pescado brochette with a warm potato galette in an onion fondue with a flying fish caviar cream. I hear it’s quite delicious.” Larry says attentively.

“Wow, this is good!” Otto says with a smile and a mouth full of fish.

“I’m not even going to ask.” Tuddrussel groans as he pushes away a plate of snails.

“Why that’s the ‘Cassolettes d'Escargot’! A lovely little dish I learned to make in culinary school in Brussels. Bon Apetit!” Larry says in a cheery voice. We see Otto chew happily as Tuddrussel slowly grabs the edge of the table in an angry fashion.

“This all looks…TERRIBLE!” Tuddrussel says in a rage as he flips the table over. Otto still chews and swallows what was in his mouth. Larry gasps. “I haven’t had a decent meal in months! Can’t a guy get a sandwich around here?” Tuddrussel continues. Larry looks on in shock when Otto comes to the rescue.

“What he means is…uh, he’s not used to eating such exquisite dishes.” Otto says trying to cover up Tuddrussel’s action.

“No, you were going to have me eat snails! I have been stuffing the mattress of this chair with food for months.” Tuddrussel says with a red face to Larry as he points to his chair that has a bushel of meals stuffed in it. Larry gasps as Tuddrussel continues his rant. “Bacon, eggs, toast! That’s a breakfast! All you make is foo foo soaked in…poo poo!” Tuddrussel screams as he begins to turn bright red while breathing heavily and sweating.

“You…are the worst cook…ever! Ow, now my arm’s gone numb!” Tuddrussel grabs his left arm as he weases out and collapses face first into all the food on the floor in an Inspector Clusaue manner.

“Well fine, I’m never cooking for you two again!” Larry says in a sassy tone while looking down at Tuddrussel on the ground. We cut to black and fade up in a blur from Tuddrussel’s POV to an up shot of Larry and Otto.

“Wake up Tuddrussel, are you okay?” Otto asks.

“Wha…what happened?” Tuddrussel grumbles.

“I think I’m going to have to zap him!” Larry says as his hands begin to glow with electricity. “Clear!” Larry says as Otto steps back and Larry shocks Tuddrussel’s chest.

“Aaaaagghhhh! What did you do that for!” Tuddrussel yells as we cut back to show him jump to his feet.

“Well according to my readings, you just passed out from nervous exhaustion. I was reviving you!” Larry says while he reads charts being faxed out of his chest.

“Sounds more like food poisoning to me.” Tuddrussel says in a sarcastic tone to Larry.

“Tuddrussel, it’s obvious you just need some time to relax, when’s your next vacation?” Otto asks.

“Vacation?” Tuddrussel asks.

“Back in the time Otto’s from employees were allowed a certain amount of time away from their jobs to relax and not work. It was believed that this made for a happier and more productive worker.” Larry informs Tuddrussel.

“Pfft! Well, la-dee-da! That may be fine for some tea-sippin’ pansy, but I’m a cop and we don’t need…” Tuddrussel starts in a cynical tone. Suddenly the ships alarm goes off and Tuddrussel startled by the noise clutches his left arm and falls downward off screen.

“Here we go again!” Larry says as he charges his hands and goes down off screen. We see a blue glow and hear Tuddrussel scream as Otto flinches at the sight of him getting fried. We cut to the ship’s computer as Larry walks up and starts typing coordinates into the keyboard. Tuddrussel and Otto walk up behind him as smoke trails off Tuddrussel’s body. The screen shows an image of a perfect naked couple with blonde hair and blue eyes covered in fig leafs. It reads under them, ‘Adam and Eve, Garden of Eden’.

“Wow, it looks like we’re going all the way back to the Garden of Eden to see Adam and Eve. They were responsible for ruining paradise when Eve ate the forbidden apple.” Otto says. All three begin to walk towards the time transporter.

“Garden? (shivering sound) Sounds awfully organic.” Larry says in an irritated tone.

“Tuddrussel, the Garden of Eden was a utopia. This mission might be just the thing you need.” Otto says enthusiastically.

“Well, It couldn’t be any worse than getting shocked twice by this walking cattle prod.” Tuddrussel says eyeing Larry.

“Hey, I saved your life.” Larry says offended. The three get into the time transporter and bam, they are blasted to the past. We cut to a blue sky as our three heroes blast on screen. The camera has all three in a medium shot close together.

“Paradise huh?” Tuddrussel says skeptically while looking around. We pull back to reveal the three of them sitting on a large zebra. It suddenly starts to kick and jump while yelping. Time Squad Patrol hold on for dear life. Tuddrussel Larry and Otto are then bucked off and fall hard onto the grass and the zebra runs off in a huff.

“Ugh, I’m allergic to large beasts.” Larry says cowardly.

“But you’re a robot, how can you have allergies?” Otto asks.

“I don’t know. I just do. Augh, a snake!” Larry screams while jumping into Tuddrussel’s arms. A devilish looking snake slithers bye Time Squad Patrol.  

“(Cough) I think…(Cough cough) I’m having another attack!” Tuddrussel says dropping Larry.

“No Tuddrussel, (Inhale, exhale) that’s just fresh air!” Otto says with a grin. Larry looks around cautiously and takes in a breath and immediately sneezes.

“WACHOO! Ohhh.” Groans Larry.

“(Inhale) Wow, this is kinda nice.” Tuddrussel says with a smile. We pan over the horizon and show paradise. From waterfalls to rolling green hills, the Garden of Eden is breath taking. As the music swells we cut back to Larry spraying an entire can of bug repellent at a butterfly as it falls to the earth.

“Well our mission seems obvious. We need to find Eve, get her to eat one of those forbidden apples and we can be on our way.” Larry says as he sprays the fallen butterfly a couple more times with the bug repellent. We then see some bushes rustle next to Time Squad Patrol. Tuddrussel immediately pulls out his phaser and aims in its direction.

“Who goes there!” Tuddrussel barks in a stern tone.

“Whoa, hold your fire man, we come in peace brother.” A shirtless man says as he rises up out of the bushes. He and the girl with him are hardly dressed wearing fig leaves and other natural covers. The two come out toward our heroes. They both look like flower children. The man has a beard and wild long hair while the woman has face paint and many flowers in her hair.

“Welcome to the Garden of Eden!” The man says. “My name’s Adam and this is Eve, my cosmic soul mate.” Adam says as he gestures to Eve.

“Peace.” Eve says holding two fingers up as she walks over to the gang and puts leis around each of their necks. Larry flinches as Eve gives him a peck on the cheek along with his lei.

“We were going to go on our daily swim in the enchanted lake. Come join us friends. It’ll be groovy.” Adam says walking towards the lake with Eve.

“C’mon Tuddrussel, a swim will do you good.” Otto says as he runs behind Adam and Eve. Tuddrussel follows as Larry is left standing.

“What about the mission?!” Larry yells as we hear an elephant roar in the distance and Larry follows the gang terrified. We then cross dissolve to the lake as Adam and Eve swim around and laugh carelessly. Larry and Tuddrussel stand at the lake’s edge.

“Wow, I haven’t been swimming in years.” Tuddrussel tells Larry.

“Look out dude!” Otto says running past Tuddrussel and Larry wearing only his underwear. (And no glasses) He cannonballs into the lake with a splash. “C’mon in guys, the water’s great. In fact, it’s perfect!” Otto says while treading water. We cut back as Larry is now standing alone. Tuddrussel runs bye him wearing only his mask, shorts and a belt as he jumps into the water almost splashing Larry.

“Last one in is a rotten egg! Woohoo!” Tuddrussel yells. Larry walks to the water’s edge and lightly dabs the tip of his metal foot into the water. We cut in close to see Larry’s metal instantly rust on contact. Larry jumps back in fright.

“Ugh! Rust!” Larry says in a high pitched voice as he scrambles backwards. We cut back to the lake as Tuddrussel and Otto ride dolphins through the water.

“C’mon Larry!” Otto yells in the distance. Larry grumbles. We cut back to Otto and Tuddrussel in the water.

“Man, this is great.” Tuddrussel proclaims.

“I agree, paradise is excellent!” Otto says as Adam splashes him in the face. We cut back to Larry’s point of view as Tuddrussel, Otto, Adam, and Eve  splash one another and laugh carelessly. Larry grumbles to himself. We cut to a series of activities between Adam and Eve and the gang. First we see all of them prancing through a flower patch. Everyone is happy except Larry who follows behind, sneezes and falls. Next we see all of them swinging on vines in the jungle. Each one goes from vine to vine in unison like Tarzan. Larry again is last slamming into a tree like George of the Jungle. Last we see the gang all petting a monkey. We pan over to Larry approaching at a sinister looking monkey to the side. He tries to pet it but as soon as his hand meets the monkey’s head it attacks him. Adam and Eve and the gang laugh at his misfortune. We cross dissolve to the woods as we see a light swarm of flies hover over a rustling bush. The sound of a zipper being pulled up is heard as Larry rises.

“There isn’t even a decent place to dump my oil. I’m already starting to chafe!” Larry says in an annoyed tone. We cut to Otto and Tuddrussel as they lay under a tree. Larry comes out of the woods spraying bug repellent everywhere.

“I just saw Adam and Eve singing ‘Kumbaya’ or something on the other side of the forest, let’s figure out a way to get Eve to eat that forbidden apple so that we can finish the mission, leave this filthy national park and get back home.” Larry says in a strict tone

“Leave? Are you out of your mind? This place is great!” Tuddrussel says.

“Yeah, and look how relaxed Tuddrussel is. Just watch…Hey Tuddrussel, what is Time Squad Patrol’s motto?” Otto asks.

“Uh, to protect…and uh, look out or something.” Tuddrussel says as he goes back to sleep.

“Y’see! Anyway, Adam and Eve are really nice. And tonight, we’re gonna trip out looking at the stars .” Otto says as he lies back down.

“Ugh, have you two gone mad?!” Larry protests. Suddenly Adam and Eve walk up to them holding hands.

“Hey, you guys wanna go prance through the flower garden again?” Eve asks.

“You bet!” Tuddrussel says as he leaps to his feet.

“Yahoo!” Otto agrees.

“Groovy.” Adam adds. They all skip away leaving Larry standing alone.

“Fine, I’ll do it without you.” Larry screams.

We then fade up on Larry picking an apple from the forbidden apple tree. Larry then runs off screen in a sinister fashion. We cut to Larry walking up to Eve as she, Otto, Tuddrussel and Adam play with a hackey sack on a hill.

“Hello Eve, you looked famished. Would you care for a bite of this apple?” Larry asks politely.

“No way, we’re not supposed to eat from the forbidden apple tree. And anyway, I’m a strict vegetarian, no fruit! Fruit kills the earth.” Eve says in a strict manner.

“No it doesn’t. Look.” Larry says as he opens his metal mouth and puts the apple in and we hear a sound like an apple being dropped into a bucket. “Mmmmm!” Larry says with a fake smile. He then removes the apple from his hollow chest by opening a lever door in his front and tries to hand it to Eve. “Now you try one!” Larry asks again.                                      

“No. Look man, your harshing my mellow.” Eve says authoritatively. Suddenly the hackey sack comes from off screen and nails Larry in the face. We cut to Tuddrussel standing off to the side.

“Yeah, don’t harsh her mellow. Larry!” Tuddrussel yells. Larry takes the apple and stomps off.

“You haven’t seen the last of me!” Larry says in a harsh tone.

“Man, what’s that dude’s problem?’ Adam asks Tuddrussel.

“Oh, he’s a robot.” Tuddrussel replies. We then cut to a montage of Larry offering Eve apples in different places around Eden. (It will be played as an homage to ‘Green Eggs and Ham’.) We first see the gang braiding each other’s hair as Larry presents the apple and a pair to Eve.

“Would you like an apple with a pair?” Larry asks.

“No!” Eve responds. We next see Eve and the gang dancing around a fire at night as Larry walks up with an apple as a bear stands beside him.

“Could you eat one with a bear? Larry asks.

“No!” Eve responds. We then see the gang playing frisbee.

“Would you like one in a park?” Larry asks.

“No!” Eve responds. We then see Eve and the gang meditating while sitting Indian-style on the ground at night as Larry walks up and whispers to her.

“Could you eat one in the dark?” Larry asks.

“No!” Eve whispers back. Next we see the gang sun bathing on a beach.

“Would you eat one near the sea?” Larry asks.

“No!” Eve responds. Finally we see the gang folk singing while sitting next to a tree as Larry’s head comes in upside down out of a tree’s leaves as he offers the apple.

“Could you eat one in a tree?” Larry asks.

“No!” Eve responds as Larry falls. “I do not like them with a pair, I would not eat one with a bear. I do not like them in the dark; I would not eat one in a park. I do not like them when I tan, I don’t like to eat apples man!” Eve protests loudly to Larry.

“Yeah, lay off!” Otto adds.

“Fine. I give up! If I never see any of you again it’ll be too soon!” Larry says storming off.

“Ah, who needs ya!” Tuddrussel yells. We hold a beat.

“Now who wants to go prance through the flower patch?” Adam asks.

“Well, we did that yesterday but…okay.” Tuddrussel says

“Groovy!” Adam says as the group skips away. We then show the gang prancing, swinging on the vine and swimming two more times as Tuddrussel and Otto seem to grow tired as Adam and Eve continue happily. We end on Tuddrussel and Otto standing exhausted in the flower patch. Also Tuddrussel has grown a beard and Otto’s hair is long. Adam and Eve skip up to them.

“What’s wrong? You guys aren’t prancing.” Adam asks.

“Uh, that’s all we’ve done for months.” Tuddrussel protests.

“Then we’ll just go swing on some vines!” Eve says.

“I’m gonna choke you with that vine!…oh sorry, I didn’t mean that.” Otto corrects himself.

“We’ll catch up with you two later.” Tuddrussel says through his teeth.

“Okay, groovy.” Adam says and the two skip off holding hands.

“If he says groovy one more time…Aaugh! I’m losing my mind. Everywhere I look is a tree or a flower. If I have to see one more rainbow I’m going to scratch my eyes out! Uh oh.” Tuddrussel says in a fit of paranoia as he grabs his left arm and falls over. Otto looks down at him.

“I miss TV.” Otto proclaims. We fade out. We then fade up on Larry sweeping the entrance to a cave marked with a scratch for every day he has spent in Eden. He is a bit rusted and ragged but still his pompous self.

“Larrrrrrry!” Otto is heard off in the distance.

“Where are you!” Tuddrussel yells in a panicked tone. Larry shakes his head in disgust. Suddenly Tuddrussel and Otto spot him and run up.

“Oh man, are we happy to see you buddy.” Tuddrussel says while grabbing Larry’s shoulders.

“We’ve been looking everywhere for you!” Otto adds.

“We need to finish this mission and get out of this nightmare world of relaxation and love and swinging on vines!” Tuddrussel pleads. Larry pauses for a beat then speaks.

“Well, well, well, I guess Larry wasn’t so dumb after all.” Larry starts.

“We never said you were dumb!” Otto protests.

“Yeah, I just said you were a terrible cook.” Tuddrussel says.

“Aha! The truth comes out. And now what do you think.” Larry asks.

“I’ll eat all the snails you want when we get home!” Tuddrussel pleads.

“Apology accepted.” Larry says as Tuddrussel kisses his hand.

“Look Larry, I’ve got a plan, but we’re gonna need your help.” Otto says. We fade out. We fade up on Adam and Eve as they stand around the forest. Eve’s stomach growls.

“Whoa, I’m like hungry man.” Eve says.

“You said it dude.” Adam agrees.

“Did somebody say, hungry?” Larry says from off screen as he comes in holding a large silver platter under a dome as Tuddrussel and Otto walk behind him. He sets it down in front of Adam and Eve.

“Wow, is all this for me?” Eve asks innocently.

“Think of it as my little way of saying, thank you.” Larry says raising the lid to reveal a beautifully exquisite looking pie dish.

“Crepe de Chafonne flambé! You see, where I come from we have this thing called cooking! It makes food taste good!” Larry says in a sharp manner as he looks at Tuddrussel. Tuddrussel rolls his eyes. Larry then lights the pie with a flame coming out of his finger as Adam and Eve ‘ooh’ and ‘ahh.’ Larry then blows it out. “Bon apetit!” Larry says with a smile.

“Wait, what’s this made of?” Eve says skeptically.

“Oh, just some things I found…around.” Larry says innocently. Adam and Eve look at each other, shrug and lick their lips devouring the entire plate as they begin to push each other away like rabid dogs.

“Get away, he said it was for me!” Eve proclaims to Adam.

“Stop being so greedy!” Adam yells as they finish the plate off.

“That was delicious!” Eve proclaims licking her fingers.

“That is the best thing I’ve ever eaten. What was it?” Adam asks.

“Oh, just a French recipe for…apple pie!” Larry says letting out a sinister laugh as lighting strikes behind him and dark clouds form.

“Apples? Adam you idiot, I told you it was a trick you dirty hippie!” Eve yells.

“Hippie? You’re the one that’s naked!” Adam says pointing at Eve.

“Shut up!” Eve screams. The two go into a light slapping match as rain falls and lightning strikes everywhere and the ground begins to crack bellowing with red light.

“Aw, look at them. All full of anger and rage. It’s beautiful.” Tuddrussel says with a sentimental smile.

“Let’s go home guys.” Otto says.

“I hate you Larry.” Tuddrussel says as he puts his arm around Larry.

“And I hate you Tuddrussel.” Larry says as he gets choked up and smiles. Larry types the coordinates into his arm and BAM! They’re gone.

THE END

[milomeepit]

21 Sanders Street Chapter Three: The Cafe

//Amazing art by the wonder @divinedrabbles can be found here!

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Story Warnings: Death, violence, crime, police, strained marriage, non graphic mention of torture, cursing, mental trauma, stabbing, gang, pregnancy Chapter Warnings: food, broken plates,  Rating: Young Adult Ships: Endgame Logicality and Prinxiety

After Virgil Diaz went undercover, nothing was quite the same at the station. Sure, the squad still went to coffee at the cafe down the street, Logan still fussed over his wife, Roman still risked life and limb to get an adventure. Patton still made cookies on Fridays. But nothing was the same. Not really. The thing, though, was when Virgil came back. That’s when it all changed.

Logan pushed open the door to the cafe, holding it open for Roman to limp in and Patton to follow. Once the two were through, he trailed after them up to the counter, eyeing the display cabinet of savoury baked goods. Perhaps one of those single-serve pizza things appealed, actually.

Worst case scenario, he could just ask Patton to pick. Patton was incredibly empathetic, but he had a downright uncanny ability to deduce what Logan was thinking or feeling, sometimes even when Logan himself wasn’t entirely sure.

“Heeeey! Look what the cat dragged in!” The girl working the register beamed.

“Hello, Clara, my dearest,” Roman leaned against the counter and winked. “How is a beauty such as yourself on this fine day?”

Clara giggled, twisting her fingers through her ponytail. “Gosh, Roman, I’m doing just spectacular. Better since you walked in though~!”

Logan cleared his throat loudly, making the two both jump slightly.

Clara blushed, straightening her bright blue half-apron. “I’ll go get Miss Allistair for you guys!” She said quickly, vanishing into the kitchen.

Roman stood up, glancing over his shoulder at Logan. “You ruin all my fun.”

“You’re injured at the moment. You can hardly take her out on a date. You’d just ruin any chance with her if you pushed at the moment,” Logan countered.

“Au contraire, O Captain, my Captain.” Roman wagged his fingers. “People looooove injuries. The attached cool stories make excellent icebreakers.”

“It’s true,” Patton chirped. “Remember that time I broke my wrist in third grade? I think that’s the most popular I’ve ever been in my life.”

Logan frowned a little as he considered. “... Even so, Dawn would kill you. Clara’s a nice girl.”

Roman made a wounded noise, clapping a hand over his heart. “And I’m a nice boy- man! I am a nice man!”

“Roman RJ Prince, I swear to god, if you’re flirting with my employees again...” The three looked back over to the counter as the owner of the cafe emerged from the kitchen, flour-dusted across the front of her black apron, her long, curly, dark hair pulled back into two poofy ponytails.

“Me? Flirt? Never!” Roman smiled smoothly.

“Mm-hm. You can flash that all-teeth-and-bad-intentions smile elsewhere,” Dawn rolled her eyes. “Just tell me what you guys want to eat. I already got Missy started on your usual coffees.”

“Roman’s, too?” Logan raised an eyebrow. “With all his usual fixings?”

“I trust her.”

“I’ll have to give her my condolences.”

Dawn snorted. “Anyway, chop chop, boys. I got the lunch rush coming in, can’t clog up the counter.” She gestured to the quickly-growing line behind them.

“Mmmm... can I get an egg salad sandwich, please?” Patton asked.

“Sure thing, Pat! Plus your cinnamon, muffin, right? Lo, what about you, buddy?” Dawn punched in Patton’s order, then looked over at him.

Logan gestured vaguely. “Not sure.”

Patton peered at him for a moment, then the display case. “... Cheese and vegetable muffin?” He suggested, looking back to Logan.

Logan smiled. “As a matter of fact, that sounds excellent,” He agreed. “Thank you.”

Patton beamed at him, knocking his shoulder against Logan’s lightly.

“Ro?”

Roman stayed silent for a moment, crossing his arms. “... I’m not hungry.”

“Oh, my god...” Logan pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes.

Dawn raised an eyebrow. “Really, now?”

Patton giggled. “Crown donut. He’s pouting because me and Logan called it.”

Dawn grinned and shook her head. “For all you act like an action hero, you’re pretty predictable, dude,” She commented to Roman as she rang up the order. “Alright, pay up, scoundrels.”

Roman’s hand went to his jacket pocket before he paused. “Ah... I don’t suppose we could negotiate the cap on my tab, dearest darlingest Dawnie?” He plastered on a saccharine smile.

Dawn stared at back him, once again raising an eyebrow. “I’m running a business here, Ro. You gotta cough it up at some point.”

Logan rolled his eyes and dug his wallet out. “I’ve got it,” He said, pulling out some cash and holding it out to Dawn. “But you owe me, Prince.”

Dawn sorted the cash into the drawer, smiling as she printed out the receipt and handed back the change, which Logan immediately dumped into the tip jar. “You guys go sit down, I’ll bring your stuff over in a bit,” She gestured towards their usual table in the corner.

“Thank you, Dawn,” Logan nodded before turning to lead the other two over to the table.

It took a few minutes for them to sort themselves out, claiming a spare chair for Roman to prop his foot up on and settling their bags under the table. “There!” Roman smiled, picking up a napkin and fiddling with it absentmindedly. “So, what are you guys planning tonight?”

“Celine and I were going to try making a new recipe she found online for dinner, then we might watch a movie or something. I’m sure Arnold would like to curl up in our laps on the couch,” Logan rolled his eyes affectionately.

“That cat is evil, I swear to god,” Roman huffed.

“He is not. You’re too loud for him. You scare him,” Logan frowned a little. “Anyway, what about you?”

“Hm... I’m probably going to have a pretty quiet night. Play some video games or something. I might see if Vic or Molly want to come over and hang out,” Roman hummed. “Nothing too elaborate.”

“That sounds like fun,” Patton propped his chin up in his hands, leaning on the table. “Vic and Molly are both really awesome, I’m sure you’ll have a ball!”

“What about you, Patton?” Logan asked.

“Oh, you know... tidy up. Hang out with my pups. I might do some gardening.” Patton shrugged. “You know, the usual.”

“Dude, we need to get you out of the house,” Dawn appeared at Logan’s side, setting down a tray with their food. “Be right back with the drinks. Touch my cupcake and I’ll murder you.”

Roman rolled his eyes and poked the pink-iced cupcake, scooting it across the tray slightly. “Hah. She can’t tell me what to do.”

“You’re either brave or foolish. I’m still not sure which.” Logan said bluntly as he picked up his muffin, carefully peeling off the paper wrapper.

“Rude.” Roman frowned.

“Yeah, you are.” Dawn swatted his hand away from her cupcake as she put the drinks down on the table. She picked up her milkshake, flopping into the chair next to Patton. “So, how goes it, officers?”

“Pretty well,” Logan sipped at his latte. “There’s not too much interesting happening at work, aside from Roman being a halfwit.”

“Logan!” Patton scolded. “There’s no need to be mean!”

Roman scooped some of the whipped cream off the top of his frappuccino and rolled his eyes. “He’s just jealous I got to jump over the hood of a car,” He mumbled, taking a bite of his donut.

“You jumped on a car?!” A small voice shrieked, making the four jump slightly.

“Inside voice, Bugabear,” Dawn set down her milkshake. “You wanna come sit up here with me?”

Logan watched as two brown pigtails appeared over the top of the table, followed by a pair of wide, curious brown eyes. “Hi, Uncle Lo! Hi, Uncle Pat! Hi, Uncle Roro!” The little girl greeted excitedly as she scrambled up into Dawn’s lap.

“Hey, there, Becka!” Patton cooed. “How are you going, sweetie pie?” He set down his muffin and beamed at her.

“I’m good!” She giggled. “I helped Mia make cookies!” She pointed a finger towards the redheaded woman, who was restocking one of the display cases.

“Cool!” Patton grinned, glancing over and waving to Mia.

Logan smiled affectionately. “Good afternoon, Becka,” He greeted, nodding to the little girl. “I'm glad you're having an enjoyable day.”

Becka squirmed off of Dawn's lap and scampered around the table to throw her arms around Logan, laughing. “Looogaaaaan! You're talking like a teacher agaaaaiiiin!”

“Quite right. Loosen up a little, Poindexter!” Roman nudged him playfully.

“No uptight attitudes allowed in The Hole Nut,” Dawn wagged her finger, smirking. “This place runs on good eats, show tunes and smiles, Conroy.”

Logan rolled his eyes, awkwardly patting Becka on the head. “Right, right. But you can hardly expect me to start goofing around like either of these two.” He jerked his thumbs at Roman and Patton simultaneously. “That would just be preposterous.”

“Mm-hm,” Dawn poked her tongue out, then picked up her drink again. She took a long sip from it, coming away with a frothy chocolate milk moustache.

Roman and Logan exchanged a look, snickering quietly.

Patton just grinned. “Uh, Dawnie? You got a little something..  just...” He gestured at his own face, trying not to laugh.

Dawn blinked, then blushed faintly as she wiped her face clean. She punched him lightly in the arm. “Thanks, Pat. At least I can count on you to watch my back. Or, my upper lip, as the case may be.” She winked.

“That's what besties are for, right?” Patton pulled out his cookie necklace, waving it at Dawn.

Dawn tugged her matching necklace out of her shirt, fitting together the heart-shaped cut-out in hers to the shape on Patton's. “You're darn right, it is,” She grinned.

Logan smiled fondly at the two as he scooped up Becka to sit in his lap. “So, how about you, Dawn? Anything interesting in the past few days?”

“Oh, you know. Same old, same old.” Dawn rolled her eyes. “Make coffee. Bake. Sell coffee and food. Paint. Rinse and repeat. It's an exciting life, mine.”

Roman's eyebrow quirked. “You know, if you're so bored, you could always try to join the fo-”

“Nope.”

“Absolutely not.”

“No way!

Roman flinched back from the immediate chorus from the other three. “Okay, okay, just an idea.”

“Way too dangerous,” Patton shook his head. “I already worry about you boys so much, I don't think my heart could take it if Dawn was in the fray, too.”

“Plus, I have a whole business here! I got employees who rely on their paycheck from here. I can't yank the rug out from under them.” Dawn added.

“Not to mention,” Logan nodded to the squirming child in his lap. “Who would look after Becka during the day?”

“Alright! Gosh, no need to go all Golden Trio and gang up on me,” Roman grumbled, slouching against the table and pouting.

Becka giggled. “You look like a grumpy puppy, Uncle Roro!”

Roman drooped even further, growling faintly as he stirred his drink.

Patton slung an arm over Roman’s shoulders. “Aw, buck up, Roman! Puppies are cute!”

“I’m not cute!” Roman squawked, looking up towards the older man. “I’m handsome! And... and dashing! And suave and cool and strong!”

“Like a superhero!” Becka flung her arms out dramatically, nearly hitting Logan in the face. She wriggled off of his lap, holding her arms out as she ran around the cafe, making zooming noises.

“Don't run insi- oh, who am I kidding?” Dawn shook her head, laughing, and propped her chin up on the table, sipping her milkshake.

Roman grinned as he watched Becka zipping in circles. “Good lord, she’s bouncy today. What have you been feeding her?” He laughed.

Dawn shrugged. “Whole grains, fruit, protein. You know, healthy junk.”

“Healthy... junk. I could be wrong, but I think that’s an oxymoron,” Logan raised an eyebrow as he spoke.

Patton giggled and sipped his cappuccino, coming away with a strip of foam smeared on his upper lip. “Heck, it might be! Nevermind. We all know you’re the one who makes sense out of us, Lo!”

Dawn made a mockingly offended sound, pressing a hand to her chest. “Excuse you! I make perfect se-”

She was interrupted by a squeal, a crash, and a loud, siren-like wail. They all spun to see Becka sprawled on the ground, surrounded by dropped cutlery and pieces of broken plates. Clara was clinging to the counter, regaining her balance, holding tightly onto the tray she had been carrying.

“Miss Allistair, I am so sorry, I didn’t even see Becka, I’m so sorry, I’ll clean this up right away,” Clara babbled, her pale face a sharp contrast to the dark bangs framing her face.

Dawn and Patton didn’t even look at each other before they simultaneously shoved their drinks at Logan, rushing over to the two girls. Logan fumbled for a moment before he managed to set both drinks on the table without dropping anything.

“Clara, you’re fine, it’s okay, breathe for me, honey,” Dawn gently prised the tray from Clara’s grip and set it on the counter. “How about you go sit down in the back room, take a breather, get a drink of water? You’re okay. It’s okay.” She rubbed Clara’s shoulders gingerly in an attempt to soothe the panicked teenager.

Clara hesitated before nodding shakily. “I’m- I’m sorry,” She repeated weakly before Missy took her by the elbow and guided her through the doorway into the break room at the back of the cafe.

Patton, meanwhile, kicked shards of plate aside and dropped to his knees next to Becka, holding out his arms to her. “Aw, geez! Had a bit of a nasty knock, huh, kiddo?” He said gently.

Becka practically dived into his arms, her wails nearly deafening as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

Patton cradled her close, stroking her hair as he rocked back and forth. “Yeah, I know, honey, I know,” He murmured. “Are you hurt anywhere? Did any of the broken plates cut you?”

Becka shook her head as she buried her face against his neck, muffling her cries.

“Bit of a fright, huh? Yeah, that can be pretty bad. You’re alright, though, promise,” Patton kissed the top of her head.

Dawn bobbed down next to Patton, smiling at him. ‘Thanks,’ She mouthed. ‘Want me to take her?’

Patton glanced down at Becka, then back up to Dawn with a nod.

“Hey, princess,” Dawn cooed, scooping Becka into her lap and cuddling her. “Mommy’s got you, you’re alright.”

Becka started to quiet, sniffling as she clung to her mother.

Logan appeared next to them with a broom, sweeping most of the debris out of the walkway and into a corner, humming a song under his breath- Cinderella? It sounded like Cinderella to Patton. It was probably Cinderella. They’d watched it last Friday.

Dawn slowly got to her feet, still holding Becka on her hip. “You wanna go play in your bedroom? Find somewhere a little quieter?” She hummed, brushing hair back out of Becka’s red face. She looked back to the table at Logan, smiling a little. “Duty calls, boys. Sorry to pull the mom card and bail, but I gotta help out Little Miss Muffet here.”

Logan nodded as he set the broom aside. “We should probably get going, too. We have to get back to work and all.”

Dawn returned the nod. “Talk to you guys later.” She turned to Missy as she reappeared from the back room. “Hey, I’m heading out of the cafe for a while. You good to hold down the fort?”

Missy flashed her a thumbs up. “Yeah, sure thing. I’ll come out back and knock on your door if we need you.”

Patton got to his feet, brushing off his legs to make sure there was no debris clinging to his pants. “You ready to roll, Ro?”

Roman grabbed his crutches and awkwardly clambered to his feet. “Absolutely. Shall we?”

Logan slung Roman’s backpack over his shoulder. “Duty calls,” He declared, leading the way out of the cafe as Roman hobbled along behind him.

Patton glanced over his shoulder with a smile, watching Dawn vanish through the back door behind the counter, before following the others out of the cafe. “Hey, guys, wait up!”

21 Sanders Street Taglist (let me know if you want to be added or removed! :o):

@pattson @royallyanxious @thesocialbookwormishere @wisepuma23 @redisawerewolf @lacrimosathedark @demonvirgil @lucifer-in-my-head @2queer2deer @crayonthegreat @rose-gold-roman @my-happy-little-bean @thats-kat-with-a-k @ultimate-queen-of-fandoms2 @davidthetraveler @just-a-random-word @wolfishhel @angelvirgil @romanussy @moxieties @the-no-name-system

[crowkingwrites]

Stay Close

Pairing: Ramsay Bolton X Reader

Fic Request:  Can you write ReaderxRamsay they're friends with benefits with only one rule 'When one of them want it to be over - it's over'. Ramsay never was the one to follow the rules tho. Can you make it angsty but with happy end?

Author’s Notes: This came out a lot longer than i intended to. Oops. I’m feeling angsty anyways sooo... music helped out this fic. Please give it a listen.

Ocean & Keep it Close both by Seven Lions

Words: 3498

Ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14628660

Ramsay watched on as you held hands with another. His eye twitched. His fingers itched at his sides to hurt someone. His glare could be felt by the hairs on the back of your neck. You were smiling, but as soon as you felt the chill your head turned. You saw him seething at you.

But that was the deal. It was over. That was the rules.

Months earlier, Ramsay found you at a sketchy frat party. You were drunk and in no shape to consent to anything. A frat boy tried to move you and take you somewhere private, but Ramsay got to you first. He glared at the frat boy and took you away himself.

Somewhere on the road, you woke up in Ramsay’s car. He was driving on a dark highway. The cool late night made you shiver as you sat up. You opened your mouth with every intention to ask where he was taking you, but he beat you to the punch.

“There’s a diner at the next exit. You need to sober up,” he said flatly.

“I don’t need to do anything. You’re not the boss of me,” you said as-a-matter-of-factly. Ramsay tsked.

“You were almost unconscious. There was a guy who looked suspicious.”

“And what? You saved me?” you scolded him. “This is just like high school. You know that? I knew I wasn’t gonna get rid of you after graduation. All of my friends told me. I remember. ‘Ramsay won’t follow you after this. He won’t ever leave this god awful place.’ But guess what? You’re here.”

“I am,” Ramsay pulled into the diner parking lot. Two of the five neon letters didn’t work, so it read ‘DIN’ instead of ‘DINER’. The overworked waitress sat you and Ramsay by a window. You could see how it was, and how bright the lights were. You had a slight headache from it, but nothing you couldn’t handle. Ramsay pushed forward the coffee and you sipped at it.

“You have to stop,” you told him. “You’ve been doing this for years. What are you exactly getting out of this?”

“Drink the coffee,” Ramsay ordered.

“No, answer my question. Seriously, what are you getting out of this? I’m not your girlfriend. We’re not friends. I was nice to you once sophomore year, and you followed me to a different state.” “I got your attention now, don’t I?”

“By stalking me.”

“By being loyal to you,” Ramsay argued. “I haven’t dated anyone else.”

“I wouldn’t care if you did,” you said coldly. “I don’t care about you. I never have. For four years, you’ve been delusional.”

“Have I?” Ramsay whipped out his phone and called you. Your phone screen lit up with Ramsay’s picture and name. “See you still haven’t blocked my number. Just like you haven’t blocked me from Facebook or Instagram. But I still stalk you, right?”

You glared at him. “What do you want from me?”

“What I’ve always wanted,” Ramsay leaned forward. His fingers itching to touch yours. You stared at his fingers and looked away. You knew exactly what he wanted. He wanted the same thing for the past four years. You knew you didn’t feel the same.

For a kid whose father was in the military, Ramsay didn’t have much respect for authority. He had been trouble for most teachers, and a nightmare for your peers. Ramsay was a bully. He and his pack of ‘friends’ picked on, beat up, and hurt anyone who even so much looked at them wrong. It was hard to have feelings for anyone who beat someone to the ground for fun.

But this wasn’t high school anymore. You moved out of state for college, hoping to start anew, but Ramsay followed like you predicted. He always followed you around, stalked your social media, and sent you late night messages that would often go unnoticed.

“Ramsay, you should just give up,” you told him. You were tired of him. Ramsay blinked and shook his head.

“No, I’m not doing that,” Ramsay said, chewing on the eggs on his plate. “I didn’t come all the way out here for you to tell me no.” You put your face in your hands. College hadn’t been that easy to handle. Your part time job made you mildly depressed, and you missed your friends back at home. In truth, you only went to the frat party to make friends, but it seems things got out of hand. An idea sparked in your head, a stupid idea, but an idea nonetheless.

“What if,” you started. “We started a friends-with-benefits type deal?”

“I’m listening,” Ramsay said in between bites.

“No relationship. No feelings. Just sex. When one of us wants it to be over, its over, understand?” you said. Ramsay nodded, wiping off a chunk of eggs from the corner of his mouth. He had a slight smile, but he did his best to hide it from you.

The next thing you knew you were on top of Ramsay and heat was building up between the both of you. His hands held your hips gently, and his eyes never left your face. He wanted to look at you move and moan on top of him. It felt good. It was distracting from everything that was going wrong. You felt your end coming soon, and you rode the orgasm out of him rough which triggered him.

The next few weeks were the same. You would go to work, roll your eyes at people who couldn’t understand why they needed a receipt for a return, and then go to classes. Some late nights you would feel lonely again, and you texted Ramsay. Ramsay fucked you and the loneliness would go away. After you stuck around for an hour or two, and then you went back to sleep in your own room. It was routine.

One Friday afternoon, Ramsay showed off his stash, asking you if you wanted to try it. You had a rough week. After getting fired over a customer complaint and failing an important history exam, you shrugged and agreed. Maybe medicating with marijuana would help.

“So what happened?” Ramsay asked lighting up the blunt.

“A regular customer claimed I had been rude and unhelpful,” you flatly said. “I just think the manager wanted to get rid of me. It’s not fair.” You took the blunt from Ramsay and inhaled. The back of your throat burned and you coughed heavily. Ramsay chuckled at the sight, but then helped you breathe by gesturing you to lift your arms above your head. He noticed your face.

“Are you okay?”

You shook your head. “No, I’m not.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Ramsay shifted next to you, sitting on the ground. The smoke from the blunt wafted through the air. You thought about your grades, what you were gonna do for money, and making friends seemed to prove harder than you thought.

“This is hard,” you said. Your chest felt heavy. “I didn’t think it was going to be this hard. I thought it was going to be easier than this. I mean, high school—

“Was so easy,” Ramsay completed your thought. He passed the blunt to you. “Of course it was, Captain of the cheerleading squad and Prom Queen.” You shook your head.

“I wasn’t Prom Queen,” you corrected him. “That was my best friend.”

“You deserved it more,” Ramsay said.

“Does it really matter though? Does anything about high school matter? I don’t know. I feel like I’m failing,” you felt Ramsay reach for your hand, but you pulled away.

“My place is hiring. I could put in a good word,” Ramsay offered. If there was one positive thing about Ramsay, it was that he was a man of his word. He did put in that good word for you, and you began working at a doggy dare care center. You’ve never felt happier. Instead of dealing with people screaming in your face, you had older dogs and puppies kiss your face. Most of your day was spent walking, cleaning, and caring for your four-legged guests.

“Y/N? Right?” a guy your age came up to you. His hair was in dark curls, and his smile was genuine.

“Yeah, and you are?” you asked, picking up a colorful leash for Lula, a young Rottweiler.

“Damon,” he smiled and shook your hand. “So you’re friends with Ramsay?” You chuckled. It had been two months now since you agreed to be friends with benefits with him and last night he ate you out like a feast.

“You could say that,” you gave him an awkward smile.

“I’ve honestly never met anyone else whose friends with him,” Damon said.

“You’re friends with him?”

“Yeah, I know. It’s hard to believe. He’s hard to get along with.”

“You’re telling me,” you said somewhat relieved you had someone to finally relate to. Damon and you became quick friends. Both of you worked similar shifts, so Damon and you worked well with one another. Where you would start something, he would finish it. And vice versa. Both of you started talking about music and movies, but you couldn’t stop talking about one particular subject.

“So, let me get this straight,” Damon started while enjoying lunch with you. “Elsa and Anna’s parents survived the ship wreck and landed in the jungle only to become Tarzan’s parents?”

“Yes.”

“That’s fucking brilliant,” Damon chewed his sandwich and gestured to you. Ramsay walked into the breakroom and set his things down. He tugged one earphone out of his ear. Damon smirked at him. “You’re late. What’s your excuse this time?”

“Shut up,” Ramsay snapped. You noticed the glare he shot Damon. Something was off. Before you could say anything, your manager walked in to find Ramsay.

“Where were you?” he asked, crossing his arms.

“I was coming here, I swear to God,” Ramsay glared at the manager. You hated admitting it to yourself, but you loved watching Ramsay get angry at others. Something in you loved his aggressiveness.

“Yeah?” “Yeah, I was,” Ramsay continued. “Why do you think I’m such a flake? I love these dogs. I really like this job. I don’t have to deal with people except you.”

“You need an attitude adjustment. You don’t get along with anyone,” your manager berated. He pointed to you and Damon. “You need to be more like these two. Not only do they come in every day with a great attitude and get work done, but they’re peas in a pod. They’re like work spouses.” The words hit Ramsay harder than he anticipated. He narrowed his eyes at his manager.

“Maybe you should marry them then,” he spat out.

“I know I wouldn’t mind. I bet Y/N would make a great wife,” Damon winked at you. You almost laughed. Ramsay and your manager looked on. Damon apologized. “Sorry, just thought I should break the tension.”

“Could both of you leave?” your manager asked. “I need to speak with this one alone.” Damon took your arm and guided you out of the room. You swore you saw Ramsay’s hurt expression seeing you leave with him. Damon started laughing as soon as the door closed.

“Did you see that? He’s so fucked!”

“You don’t think he’ll get fired?” you said concerned looking back at the break room. Damon shrugged it off.

“He’s fine,” Damon looked to you and smiled. “So what do you think? Do you wanna be my work wife?” He wiggled his eyebrows. You laughed and playfully hit him.

“Come on,” you reacted.

“I’m serious!” Damon looked into your eyes, keeping eye contact with you. “Maybe you and I could hang out sometime?”

“Like at Porchey’s? We could get Rams—

Damon touched your arm. “I mean just us. You and me. Maybe we could watch some Disney movies and have some pizza. Does that sound okay?” You blinked. Damon was asking you out. He had been so nice and so much fun to be around. You often forgot about your negative thoughts when you were with him. You didn’t realize he genuinely liked you.

“Okay,” you said. “Yeah, that sounds like a good time.”

“What sounds like a good time?” Ramsay asked, exiting the room. He sniffed and side-glanced your manager who went the opposite direction.

“It’s nothing,” you quickly said.

“Nothing?” Damon scoffed. “Our date doesn’t mean anything to you?” He play pouted.

“Date?” Ramsay’s voice almost squeaked. You never heard him squeak. “You guys are going on a date?”

“Yeah, it’s just a chill one,” Damon’s phone buzzed. He glanced at it. “I’ll catch you guys later. See you tomorrow?” Damon winked at you again before he left. You turned back to Ramsay who now glared at you.

“A date? Really?” Ramsay crossed his arms.

“I’m not allowed to date?”

“No. Not him.”

“Not him? Are you kidding me? Now you want to control who I see?” you started to raise your voice. “That’s not how this works, Ramsay.”

“Do you think I give a fuck about how this works?” he snapped back at you. “You’re mine.” You stepped back. You felt the back of your eyes burning. After all this time, he was still under the delusion that you two were actually together.

“We’re done,” you told him, pushing past him into the breakroom. Ramsay followed.

“What?” he raised his voice.

“You heard me,” you snatched your purse and jacket. “It’s over. We’re done doing this.” You pushed past Ramsay’s chest.

“Y/N! Come back here!” Ramsay yelled at you, but you kept going. “We’re not done! You can’t say that!” Ramsay kept yelling more, but you couldn’t hear him from your car. You watched him come outside. You turned the ignition and drove off. You watched Ramsay from your rear view mirror. You weren’t his. You didn’t belong to him.

You thought about how fucked you almost every night. You thought about how he held you when you cried and cried. You thought about his words when you felt like you lost everything. You remembered them when he held you tight and told you that you weren’t a failure.

“I got you,” he would say. “I’m here.”

“Y/N?” Damon called out to you. You snapped out of the memory. Damon reached for your hand and held it. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,’ you nodded. “Just thinking about stuff.”

“You’ve been weird today. Is it the depression? You can tell me,” Damon said quietly to you. He didn’t want your friends to hear. He knew you couldn’t admit it to anyone just yet. You shook your head. Damon was only trying to help. It had been three weeks since the Disney date. Damon and you hit it off immediately. Unlike Ramsay, Damon made you genuinely happy. He was understanding, supportive, and a really good kisser.

“No, I’m fine,” you half-smiled. “Just having a weird day.” Damon nodded and rubbed his thumb over your knuckles.

“So, we’re on for karaoke tonight, guys?” Damon posed the question to your mutual friends. A lot of them nodded and agreed. Damon turned to you. “Personally, I can’t wait to sing a certain song with a certain someone.”

You smiled remembering how Damon sang ‘A Whole New World’ with you on your Disney date, and then just after the song finished both of you shared your first kiss.

“Hakuna Matata, right brother?” Damon quickly turned to Jack and high fived him. You snorted, realizing he didn’t mean you at all. Then you felt his eyes. You turned around to see Ramsay glaring at you. He was seething.

But that was the deal. It was over. That was the rules.

Later that night, Damon dropped you off at your dorm. He kissed you good night and drove off. You checked in and took the elevator with no problem. You weren’t drunk. After building up an alcohol tolerance from being lonely and depressed, you were pretty balanced when it came to drinking.

You searched your purse for your dorm room keys when you looked up to see Ramsay waiting by your door. He hadn’t spoken to you in weeks. He avoided you at work. He didn’t even bother to send a single message. You felt your stomach, and you quickly searched your bag for the damned keys. Once you grabbed them, you tried to avoid Ramsay as you turned the key in the door.

“Can we talk?” he asked you.

“Now you want to talk? Of course you would because this whole world revolves around you and what you want right?” you snapped at him. He grabbed your arm.

“I’m not asking again,” Ramsay said.

“You don’t have to ask again. You don’t even have to talk to me again,” you turned away from him. Your eyes started to burn again. It hurt even talking to him.

“Please Y/N,” Ramsay tightened his grip on you. “Don’t go in there. Just talk to me. Please.” Ramsay never told anyone ‘please’, he just did what he wanted. You glanced at his eyes. They were dilated when they looked at you. You closed the door, and you followed him outside. The air was cool and the air was still. Awkward was the first thought you had when you stood next to him in silence. Ramsay inhaled his cigarette and exhaled. Smoke left his mouth slowly.

“Why him?” Ramsay asked first.

“He makes me happy,” you answered in short.

“Didn’t I make you happy? What about all the times I held you? When I was there for you?”

“You did, but—

“But what?” Ramsay started to explode. “He’s my fucking best friend. He’s the only person that makes me feel normal.”

“Exactly,” you snapped back. “Damon genuinely likes me. You’ve held me on a pedestal for years. You’ve treated me as if I’m the most perfect thing to ever happen on Earth.”

“Because you are!” Ramsay screamed. “You don’t even remember that time do you? You and your friends always think it was such a small thing. That day you were nice to me. They told you not to. I remember that. They said to not do anything because I was such an asshole. But you did anyways. I was having the fucking worst month of my life.

“It was Valentine’s Day. You were handing out baked goods to people who looked lonely and sad which was nice of you to even fucking do. And you stopped me and gave me a cupcake with pink frosting on top. It had a stupid plastic ring on top. You smiled at me and wished me ‘Happy Valentine’s Day’. It was so simple, but it meant the world to me.” You let the tears fall on your face.

“And then you followed me and stalked me.”

“Yeah, you know what? I did. I was obsessed with you,” Ramsay inhaled his cigarette again. “I’m a sick fucker. I’ve fantasized and done some weird shit, but I hoped that this would turn into something.”

“What exactly did you expect?”

“I just,” Ramsay sighed, letting the smoke leave his mouth. “I didn’t want you to fall in love with my best friend. Was that too much to ask?” You felt your stomach turn. You weren’t in love with Damon. You liked him, but you weren’t in love with him. You reached for Ramsay’s hand.

“I’m not in love with Damon,” you told Ramsay. Your fingers entangled with his. Friends with benefits didn’t hold hands. Not like this. Ramsay tapped his foot.

“Don’t play with me. Don’t do this to me.”

“I’m not,” you said. “There’s a reason I gave you that cupcake that day, you know. Everyone gave you such a bad time. Everyone thought you were an awful person who would never change. I gave you that cupcake because I thought you deserved better.” Ramsay squeezed your hand hard. You watched smoke leave his mouth again. He started shaking.

“Don’t lie to me.”

“I’m not,” you closed in the space between you. “You do deserve better.” Ramsay closed in the space between you and kissed you. You felt a whirl of emotions inside. You felt relief and joy rise into your head, but you also felt your stomach drop. Ramsay’s fingers caressed your neck and he deepened the kiss. You separated from him, realizing how you felt.

Surprisingly enough, Damon took the break up very well. He’d hoped both of you could stay friends, and hoped more that there wouldn’t be any hate between the both of you. You still considered him to be your work husband even though your new boyfriend couldn’t stand the nicknames.

Ramsay and you sat in his room late at night, watching a true crime documentary on Netflix. The summer rain pitter-pattered against the window. Thunder rolled while Ramsay wrapped a large blanket around both of you. He nuzzled you close.

“Promise me something?” you said out of the blue.

“Anything,” his mouth next to your ear.

“Stay close to me?”

“Always.”

Taglist: @angelicshinigami @sugarwastaken @carilov09 @disneyprincessbuffyannesummers @i-theredqueen @sleepylunarwolf

[josephinebardot]

THE ULTIMATE GUIDE TO DINING ON A CRUISE WITH KIDS

The best part of a family vacation is all the new experiences you share together. But sometimes that same excitement doesn’t apply to mealtime, where new foods can be a challenge for the littlest travelers. At the Dolphin cruise in St Pete Beach FL, there are so many choices for delicious dining that every meal can be easy — even with a picky eater in tow. 

WINDJAMMER

When you’re on vacation with your family, it can be tough to find a casual, no-fuss restaurant that caters to everyone in the group. Windjammer is the perfect spot for just that. Every cruise ship in the fleet has one, and they all offer complimentary breakfast, lunch and dinner in a laid back self-serve buffet-style setting kids love.

In the mornings, you’ll find stations heaped with traditional breakfast options like eggs, bacon, yogurt, fresh fruit and cereal, plus dishes from around the world, like Italian rope sausage, sugar-dusted Berliners, and southern-style fried chicken and waffles.

On some ships, there’s even a made-to-order omelet station. There is also plenty of choices for the little ones, including traditional pancakes and waffles.

THE MAIN DINING ROOM

Like Windjammer, the Main Dining Room is another fleetwide complimentary dining option that serves breakfast, lunch and dinner with lots of variety to choose from.

While most cruises host a formal night that allows guests the option to get glammed up, the usual attire when having dinner in the Main Dining Room is resort casual — that means sun dresses, nice slacks, blouses and collared shirts. Breakfast and lunch allow for more relaxed attire.

With its sophisticated décor and personalized wait service, the atmosphere in the Main Dining Room is more upscale than the casual vibes you’ll experience at Windjammer, but it’s still a family-friendly dining option for anyone traveling with small kids.

Breakfast and lunch in the Main Dining Room both offer the choice between a self-serve buffet of classic hot and cold dishes and à la carte menu items.

The dinner menu features a rotating assortment of global selections and classic staples that don’t change, all of which are completely customizable to suit your preferences or dietary needs. And for little ones, a kids’ menu highlights easy-to-eat comfort foods like chicken tenders, burgers, pizza, spaghetti and more.

BEST BITES WHEN YOU’RE ON-THE-GO

CAFÉ PROMENADE

Café Promenade is another casual complimentary option available on all Oasis Class ships, as well as Quantum, Freedom and Voyager Class ships. Open 24 hours every day, it steals the title of ‘most convenient’ snack-spot onboard. Whether you feel like indulging in breakfast pastries with your morning cup of coffee, light sandwiches at lunch, a sweet treat or a glass of your go-to wine, you can count on Café Promenade to cater to every craving, no matter what time of day.

JOHNNY ROCKETS

At Johnny Rockets, you can treat yourself and your little ones to rich handspun milkshakes, perfectly grilled burgers, and crispy golden waffle fries served with an extra dose of quintessential Americana.

This iconic retro-inspired diner is the perfect place to stop in with the kids for a quick bite and a side of nostalgia. Johnny Rockets has a modest cover charge for lunch and dinner, and offers complimentary breakfast on Allure, Harmony, Oasis and Symphony of the Seas.

SORRENTO'S

Sometimes, nothing beats the classic simplicity of a well-made pizza — and that’s exactly what you’ll find at Sorrento’s. This popular onboard eatery elevates every slice to delicious new heights. Baked in a stone oven and topped with the freshest ingredients, the pies at Sorrento’s hit the spot whether you’re stopping by for a quick snack with your little ones in between onboard thrills, or satisfying late-night cravings after an evening spent dancing at Boleros or Club Twenty while the kids are having a blast at Adventure Ocean.

And while pizza is certainly the star attraction at Sorrento’s, you’ll also find a variety of antipasti, salads and desserts — all complimentary, of course.

PARK CAFÉ

All Oasis Class ships have a complimentary Park Café — you’ll also find it on some Radiance and Vision Class ships. In the mornings, Park Café serves cereal, sweet treats and some hot dishes. It’s also the only restaurant onboard with a full bagel station. But the real star of the show at Park Cafe is the legendary Kummelweck.

Featuring two slices of roast beef, slow roasted for 12 hours and placed on a fresh baked roll, this lunchtime sandwich has become something of a fan favorite. The restaurant also serves healthy made-to-order salads, fresh-pressed panini and deli classics.

DOG HOUSE

If you think this is your average hot dog stand, think again. A favorite among cruisers, The Dog House is all about making lip-smacking gourmet sausages packed with flavor and inspired by different places around the world — like “The Sicilian,” made with pork, garlic, oregano and Italian spices in a parmesan and cheddar baguette, “The Big Apple,” a chicken sausage blended with juicy bits of apple, and the bestselling “Wünderdog,” made in the traditional Austrian style with 100% delicate veal.

This quick and easy casual spot available on selected ships is a favorite grab-and-go dining option that’s popular among little kids, teenagers and adults. Dog House serves up specialty hot dogs and sides like sauerkraut, sautéed onions and potato salad every day for lunch and dinner, and it’s all included in your cruise fare.

EL LOCO FRESH

As far as grab-and-go dining options are concerned, El Loco Fresh is a proven hit among kids. True to its name, the all-new El Loco Fresh serves up insanely delicious Mexican fare like savory beef burritos, flavor-filled fish tacos, tasty carnitas and cheesy quesadillas — not to mention classic mole sauce, creamy and refreshing guacamole and a salsa bar that caters to all levels of spice lovers.

Open daily for lunch on Symphony and Navigator of the Seas, El Loco Fresh is a great complimentary option for explorers of all ages.

FAVORITES THE WHOLE FAMILY WILL LOVE

PLAYMAKERS SPORTS BAR & ARCADE

Playmakers Sports Bar & Arcade doesn’t just deliver on delicious food kids will love — it also offers endless hours of entertainment for adventurers in every age group. The à la carte menu spotlights game day classics like buffalo wings, sliders and the signature Playmakers Burger, which adults can pair with icy cold domestic and international drafts.

Kid-friendly options off the Pee Wee menu include cornflake-breaded chicken tenders and a juicy all-beef Home Run Hamburger that’s the perfect size for little hands and smaller appetites.

For dessert, kids can dig in to the Campfire Cookie — a warm homemade chocolate chip delight topped with gooey melted marshmallow and rich Nutella — or the massive perfect-for-sharing Touchdown Sundae, served in a mini football helmet. Once you and your squad are done chowing down, the whole family can get their game on in the arcade with a round of Skee-ball, Connect 4, Ms. Pacman or Super Mario Racing — the list goes on.

ITALIAN FAVES: JAMIE’S ITALIAN BY JAMIE OLIVER AND GIOVANNI’S KITCHEN

If you’re in the mood for homemade flavors inspired by the Mediterranean, it doesn’t get better than the two Italian dining concepts Royal Caribbean has brought to life onboard: Jamie’s Italian by Jamie Oliver and Giovanni’s Table.

Helmed by one of Britain’s most famous celebrity chefs, Jamie’s Italian serves Tuscan-inspired dishes on Harmony and Symphony of the Seas, the Royal Amplified Mariner and Navigator of the Seas, and Quantum Class ships, while Giovanni’s Table spotlights rustic trattoria-style classics on Oasis and Allure of the Seas, all Voyager and Radiance Class ships, plus several others across the fleet.

Both are smart casual specialty restaurants that offer hearty Italian comfort food like lasagna, bruschetta and homemade focaccia, antipasti and salads, and a delicious selection of pasta often served family-style so that it’s perfect for sharing.

If you’re dining with a group at Jamie’s Italian, you should definitely order the Famous Plank — a shareable app loaded with cured meats, artisanal cheeses and tart pickles.

A SWEET BONUS ON SYMPHONY OF THE SEAS

SUGAR BEACH

If you happen to be cruising onboard Symphony of the Seas or the newly amplified Navigator of the Seas and you have a sweet tooth, you’ll definitely want to check out Sugar Beach on the Boardwalk. Stocked from floor to ceiling with all kinds of creative confections and indulgent ice creams, this new addition to the Royal Caribbean roster of edible delights is a can’t miss stop for a decadent pick-me-up.

In this colorful candy oasis, both children and adults can treat themselves to tasty sweets priced by the ounce or per piece. The shop also regularly hosts family-friendly activities, like cupcake decorating classes.

[shesquiinnsane-ar]

STUDY OF HARLEEN FRANCES QUINZEL AKA ‘ HARLEY QUINN ‘ : WODC EDITION

APPEARANCE.

▸  Height: tall / short / average? Harley is 5′9″ (170cm) so she feels pretty average although in the Squad she knows her height stands out and appears far shorter than she is. 

▸ Are they okay with their height? As a doctor, she wore heels to come across more professional and to appear taller and therefore assertive since other doctors she worked with saw the inexperienced woman as someone to be undermined. She didn’t feel inadequate but it was due to other perceptions. She used simialr reasons for her heels within the Suicide Squad. With her height a little taller than average, however, she has a perfect physique for her gymnastics.

▸ What’s their hair like? Depends on how she’s feeling. In terms of strength it's very weak. After the permanent bleaching she opted to drop her red and black colour in the hope that less hair dye would keep what little strength her hair actually had. Keeping her hair in pigtails was safer, but she is hoping that with extra conditioner (now she's out of prison) she can bring it back so that her bleach blonde isn't overshadows by her dark roots.

▸ Spend a lot of time on their hair / grooming? Now she's out Harley spends considerably more on her hair, and just on herself generally. Wanting to make a name for herself outside of the Joker has meant not just exploring her make-up but also editing her tattoo and changing up her wardrobe. Her hair is in a lot better condition than it was though ( even if it is a little shorter after the 'new hair new me' chop ).

▸ Care about their appearance / what others think? She cares about grabbing other people's attention with her appearance. She's bold and loud much like most of her outfits. It has to make a statement, but not one that anyone else has to understand. As long as people look and go 'oh that's Harley Quinn' - well that's the important part.

PREFERENCES.

▸ Indoors or Outdoors: Outdoors because indoors reminds her of her cell in Arkham or Belle Reve and this girl still needs to get he smell of disinfectant out of her nostrils. ▸ Rain or Sunshine: Sunshine, Harley loves sunning herself, even if she is easy to burn. A little rain is okay though if Ivy's plants need to grow. ▸ Forest or Beach: Beach: Nice weather and her favourite bikini. ▸ Precious metals or Gems? Diamonds are a girl's best friend, arent' they? Although after Black Mask...Gold would be...less pricey and less trouble. ▸ Flowers or Perfumes: Perfumes, Harley isn't the most green fingered and would likely kill the flowers too easily. ▸ Personality or Appearance: Harley looks past most people's appearances, but someone is more likely to catch her attention with a striking appearance. It is important that people are open to Harley's eccentric ways of thinking and going off the rails. ▸ Alone or In a crowd: In a crowd. When she's alone Harley's mind tends to wander back to the Joker and no one wants that. ▸ Order or Anarchy: Anarchy. Harley thrives in chaos, and chaos seems to whirl around her. ▸ Painful truths or White lies: Depends on the situation but for the most part a little lie never hurt anyone. Push Harley a little though and she'll mostly drop her lie for the truth. ▸ Science or Magic: Psuedo-science got her where she was with a PhD. As for magic though, to her, that's what you make of it and although in this verse she hasn't met Constantine or Zatanna, Harley does believe in the impossible so magic is always a possibility. ▸ Peace or Conflict: Conflict, Harley is far more likely to punch her way out of a situation than actually solve it. ▸ Night or Day: Sleep in the day, wander round at night. It's a better way to get more criminal things done but if you want an egg sandwich or market day you have to be around in the daylight. ▸ Dusk or Dawn: Dusk is usually prep time for a certain raid. If that was your pan for the night anyway. Sunsets seem to mean more to Harley as well though.. ▸ Warmth or Cold: Warmth. Fashion has to be put second in the cold if you want to survive. ▸ Many acquaintances or A few close friends: Many acquaintances. The amoutn of people Harley knows that actually like her is few. ▸ Reading or Playing a game: She can read if there's nothing else to do but Harley gets mych more invovled when playing a game.

QUESTIONS.

▸  Your muse’s bad habits? Overthinking and underthinking in equal capacities. Harley's worst tendancy is to think when in isn't necessary and to not think enough when it comes to big things, like forming a plan.

▸  Lost anyone close to them? How it affects them? Harley's loses in the world, especially this world are harder to find. She never had parents, was shipped off to boarding school. She didn't exactly lose anyone then. Harley tries to remind herself that leaving joker was her own choice but losing him was the hardest thing she'd ever done and hurt more than she knows. But at the end of the day she chose to leave him, so that pain is on her.

▸  What are some fond memories they have? She's making her fond memories. She cherishes all the memories she had with the Joker but it's actually her current memories that are most precious to her. Having friendsh in ( or at least accquanitances with ) the Birds of Prey is a part of making these new memories.

▸  Is it easy for them to kill? If she has a reason to it is easy for her to kill. If there's no reason she can't bring herself to. The reason can be small, insignificant in the grand scheme of things but as long as there is a reason she will kill if that is necessary.

▸  What’s it like when they break down? Typically Harley doesn't. In this world, if she breaks down it is one hundred percent on her own. Harley doesn't yet trust anyone enough in this world to break down in front of anyone. She's bright and bubbly and almost pushes it too far so no one has to care of the turmoil inside her head.

▸  Capable of trusting someone with their life? She used to. Harley trusted Joker with everything, and given the chance she'd probably go running back to him. But that chance doesn't seem to be coming around, so no she doesn't trust anyone like that anymore. Harley's heart won't break twice, at least not easily.

▸  What’re they like when they’re in love? There's a reason she called it Mad Love, when Harley falls for someone she'll do anything to prove her place is by their side. Whatever it takes - it's literally anything. With the amount she put up with from the Joker - there is no limit to what it takes to keep around someone she wants..

TAGGED BY: @amazongoddcss​ TAGGING: whoever wants to do this!!!

[sshoujo-ais]

saw that harley quinn was trending on twitter but it was actually about nightwing's bare ass. my disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined

[sshoujo-ais]

i think harley was a gateway drug to having more live action f/os

[sshoujo-ais]

tagged by @dearly-beeloved thank u bee <3

Rules: List five comfort characters then tag five people

(bonus rule for myself: no mains)

Harley Quinn

Entrapta

Mei Overwatch

Smiling Jack

Furret

I tag @blairsona @cherry-bomb-ships @anoddopal @reds-self-ships @thomarrow-morning dont feel pressured or obligated ofc <3

[sshoujo-ais]

It's gotta be the Harley/Jeanette/Becca pipeline

fuck

[sshoujo-ais]

For the brand ask: Harley Quinn is the first one that came to mind!

very valid! interesting as i was thinking just earlier today that even though i only selfship with the specific one, i kinda go "that's my gf" at pretty much every iteration of harley :p

[sshoujo-ais]

certain patterns are emerging

[sshoujo-ais]

the harley warehouse fight still goes hard in 2023 i am happy to report