#ship: blonco

[seerstella]

the untitled guy and his short king are doing it again! est. 1966!

[seadem-on]

Blondie and Tuco from the Good the Bad and the Ugly (1966) - a ship manifesto

Hello reader. Picking up on the old fashioned habit of essay writing, I will write about my favorite ship, Blondie and Tuco from the seminal western The Good the Bad and the Ugly, and why you should ship them too. Warning: the essay contains spoilers from the film.

First, let’s look at who Tuco and Blondie are in a nutshell.

Tuco - played by Eli Wallach - is a Mexican bandit with a long rap sheet. He is the first character that is introduced in the Good the Bad and the Ugly - freeze frame of him jumping out of a broken window with a chicken leg and a bottle of wine in one hand and a gun in the other, the writing “the ugly” (il brutto in the Italian original dub) appearing on screen. His first appearance shows immediately the main traits of his personality: he is loud, messy, dangerous and can get out of a tough situation thanks to his gunslinger abilities. But he is not your usual bandit. Tuco is very lonely too. He looks for sympathy in his older brother, a priest who instead chastises him for his life choices. Tuco has no family and no one else to turn to. His main traits are also greed and violence. He seems fun and silly but he is quick to anger and when he wants something he is extremely determined and will go to great lengths to obtain it - as for example revenge against Blondie. Wanted in more than fifteen counties, he risks frequently punishment by hanging.

Blondie - played by Clint Eastwood - is the star of the film, a deft gunslinger and Tuco’s work partner. He is introduced shortly after Tuco - he shoots three bounty hunters to save him. They have an agreement where Blondie brings him to the sheriff and shoots the noose as Tuco is about to be hanged - splitting the bounty money between each other. Blondie is dubbed “his golden haired angel” - meaning he is always watching over Tuco. His personality is the exact opposite of Tuco’s: he is calm and collected as Tuco is fiery and emotional, speaks little, and schemes a lot. He is tall, blond and smokes a cigar. The writing “the good” (il buono) appears on screen ironically just after he leaves Tuco stranded in the desert when he starts demanding more money for their agreement.

Canon evidence why they work in a pair

Where do I begin? These two are obsessed with each other. They are constantly lying, backstabbing each other or saving each other’s lives. There are no inbetweens. First Blondie leaves Tuco in the desert with no money and no gun, breaking up their partnership - and Tuco starts tracking him down for revenge. Things get pretty heated - literally, as Tuco takes Blondie on a 60-miles-long trek through the desert without water to watch him slowly die. Until they meet with a dying soldier who reveals the location of a Confederate treasure - but he tells the location of the cemetery to Tuco and the name on the grave where the gold is buried to Blondie. Since then Tuco starts panicking to save Blondie’s life which is extremely worthy to him now. He brings Blondie to heal in the monastery where his brother Pablo lives. When Tuco meets Pablo again he understands that his parents are dead, and he has a fight with his brother who does not approve his sinning life choices. Tuco leaves the monastery with Blondie, and makes up a lie about his brother telling Blondie their relationship is wonderful and his brother never wants to let him go and has prepared a lot of food for him. Blondie has actually overheard the fight and is moved by Tuco’s pain, so he just goes along with the lie and offers him a cigar - saying “after a meal there is nothing like a good cigar”. Later they arrive at an Union prison camp where Tuco is tortured by Angel Eyes, a merciless mercenary, for information about the treasure. Meanwhile Blondie is outside with other prisoners, who tell him his friend is probably being beaten, and looks worried. He is offered freedom by Angel Eyes in return for his help with the quest for the gold - and he asks where Tuco is. As soon as they arrive in a war-thorn town being fled by its inhanitants, Blondie heard a gunshot and recognizes it’s Tuco. He leaves the gang of Angel Eyes to reunite with him. After trying to kill Angel Eyes and his henchmen they get back again on the road to look for the treasure. At some point they reveal each other’s half of the secret. When they get to the cemetery, Tuco runs ahead of Blondie and finds the grave. Angel Eyes gets to the cemetery too and Blondie reveals he lied to Tuco: that is not the right grave. Only Blondie knows the true location of the gold. So he establishes to write the name of the grave on a stone and that they will have a three way showdown to decide who will get to look at the said stone. Under the desert sun, in the middle of thousands of graves, the three ruthless men face each other in a battle that entails their lives. Blondie is as always cool and collected. Tuco is nervous, his eyes darting from Angel Eyes to Blondie. Angel Eyes is calculating when to shoot. In the end, with a swift coup de scene Tuco and Blondie both shoot Angel Eyes - but Tuco’s gun is empty, having Blondie taken care of it the night before. Blondie makes Tuco dig on the right grave and find the gold - which he splits in two. To exact his revenge he has Tuco hang himself on a cross. As he leaves, he takes aim and shoots the rope thereby saving Tuco - as he’s done a thousand times before.

Their relationship is that of rivals or frenemies - they are in a constant competition and when they are not they are having bonding moments and helping each other out.

As hardened and cold hearted as they want to seem, both have some degree of fondness for each other. Blondie is often smiling at Tuco or looking worried for him - Tuco trusts Blondie with his life, and seems to recognize him a a friend in the end. One of my favorite moments is when they are at the graveyard and when their enemy shows up and point a gun at Blondie Tuco starts being defensive, and later when Tuco is drawing the gun from his pocket Blondie stops in his tracks, ready to protect him from any danger. Their rivalry has an element of mutual respect and underlying trust that can be ultimately defined as friendship - the best one they can get being criminals. Most importantly, Blondie is properly defined as Tuco’s golden haired angel - meaning he is constantly looking to save him from trouble, and even in the end, when he could have easily killed him for revenge, he chooses not to.

Also they canonically have a lot of homoerotic moments. Here a few of them:

1. Blondie leaves cigar butts at campsites and Tuco sucks on them lovingly to track him down (I’m not kidding). This is parallaled by Blondie hearing a distant gunshot and identifying it immediately as Tuco.

2. There is this extremely sexy scene where Tuco forces Blondie to hang himself, tells him to take off his pistol belt and gives him directions on how to use the rope.

3. Blondie is barely clothed on a bed and Tuco touches lightly his lips.

4. Tuco is naked and Blondie talks to him while stroking a bedpost.

There are moments of bonding throughout the film too:

1. Tuco has a fight with his long lost brother and as he leaves the monastery with Blondie he tells a lie about their relationship being happy and his brother caring about him so much he has made him a lot of food. Blondie - who has been overhearing their fight - pretends he believes him and offers him a cigar “to help his digestion”.

2. They end up in the Union prison camp where Tuco is tortured. All the while Blondie looks emotionally distressed as another prisoner tells him that they are beating his friend.

3. Tuco is about to take on 5 gunslingers by himself when Blondie shows up and tells him “are you gonna die alone?”. Tuco smiles because he realizes Blondie is actually his friend

My interpretation of the pairing

I think Blondie and Tuco are an embodiment of the enemies to lovers trope. They start out as wanting to kill each other but slowly come to unwillingly realize they harbor feelings for each other (maybe their mutual obsession could give it away from the start?!). In my opinion they find it hard to manifest their feelings because 1. They are rivals and a criminal cannot show any sign of weakness in front of their own enemy 2. They are hardened men who are too proud to confess their feelings. Despite this, it’s hard to hide they are extremely attracted to each other.

Although they seem to be holding back their feelings, they do show some signs of affection (see above). They know each other so well they can sense each other presence from a distance. (That would make for a great abo fic btw)

They know each other as intimately as anyone else ever could. Tuco is the only person who almost killed Blondie, made him vulnerable and also the one who put him back together. Blondie is the only person who knows about Tuco’s troubles with his family - and despite that he doesn’t use that to mock him but chooses to stay by his side.

Also I think when it comes to expressing feelings the one who is more comfortable with it is weirdly Blondie. Tuco is more savage and more hostile to the world in general. Blondie makes him open up little by little with small acts of kindness, and shows him what friendship and trust are like. Blondie is extremely fond of him but deep down knows that Tuco is out for himself and would kill for money - so he does his best to make Tuco survive in the end.

I love how Blondie embodies the role of the “guardian angel” and Tuco that of the “sinner”, apparently irredeemable but who is worthy of love (from the one who you least expect to).

The way Blondie seems to actually have admiration for Tuco, and considers him a worthy opponent and partner (although he would never admit to it) is mezmerizing. I love how Tuco seems to open a crack in Blondie’s hard shell and make him smile and feel things he is not used to. I love how Blondie actively wants to make Tuco feel better and take care of him.

So why should people follow this pairing?

Blondie/Tuco are a fun pairing to ship because of their differences and their love/hatred bordering on obsession dynamic. They are complex characters and their story is set in the Far West tackling themes like kindness in a hostile world, survival, friendship and loneliness. Basically you can have lots of fun exploring their relationship and the related themes.

Side note: they have an interesting ropekink/bdsm side which is still imho underexplored.

The fandom is small but the handful of us who are reading and/or creating content are very active and ready to engage with you.

Fandom guide:

- Bloncos is the first (and only) blog dedicated to them

- Meme-streets meta: in-depth analysis of the film and focus on Blondie and Tuco (look for the good the bad and the ugly tag)

- Fanfiction: ao3 is the main source, my personal recs (pls read tags)

Bounty

Guarding

Bad Choices

Untold

A good partner is irreplaceable!

On The long-term effects of half smoked cigars

Gold dust in a dirty river

A partnership of sorts (series)

Rated E

Cracked

Retelling

Confidence

Pretty Angel

Not quite obedience, but close

Whiskers

Brat

A midnight intervention

Kisses

The ecstasy of c*m

What dreams may come

The Devil You Know

- Short fancam:

Here by cirilee

- Video edits:

x - x - x - x - x

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A post shared by kenway simp frfr (@blondie.mp4)

[cigarette-room]

THEY FOUND A BABY IN THE BUSH 🗣‼️‼️‼️‼️

Me and @cigarette-room got to thinking tougher and figured they should find a random baby in a bush and go trough an ice age moment ^^

[cigarette-room]

as much as blonco is my no.1 ship in the world i have to admit that the biggest amount of homosexual activity on screen was in fact by mortimer and monco

[obufalo]

the Good the Bad and the Ugly fandom for the ask!

thank you so much for asking <333

favorite male character

it's almost a tie between blondie and tuco but gotta be tuco. motherfucker is a captivating son of a bitch.

favorite female character

...is there any? sorry alison bechdel im watching gbu in a feminist way I promise!!!

least favorite character

probably angel eyes? i always felt like he could've been better explored.

favorite ship

BLONCOBLONCOBLONCO

favorite friendship

also blonco. even if you don't ship them, there's no way of denying they're just great together.

favorite quote

"when you have to shoot, shoot. don't talk."

worst character death (if any)

the kid that angel eyes kills in the beginning. 'cause it's a kid, i guess.

this made me so happy you have no idea moment

when blondie interrupts tuco's bath for obvious reasons but also because i just love when they team up and are badasses together.

saddest moment

when tuco's brother talks about their family. not really sad but melancholic - it was really surprising to get that side of tuco's history.

favorite location

the graveyard is more iconic but i'm also very fond of the desert.

[jadethirlvvall]

gorgeous gorgeous girls are obsessed with the good, the bad and the ugly

[mosthomoeroticenemies]

Part 2

Lacenet (Lace/Hornet) - Hollow Knight: Silksong

Batman/Superman - Holy Musical Batman

Marquise Spinneret Mindfang/Neophyte Redglare - Homestuck

Karkat Vantas/John Egbert - Homestuck

Vrisrezi (Vriska Serket/Terezi Pyrope) - Homestuck

Rhaenyra Targaryen/Alicent Hightower - House of the Dragon

Rymin (Ryan Akagi/Min-Gi Park) - Infinity Train

Rafe Masters/Skullfinger - Inside Job

Armandaniel (Armond/Daniel Molloy) - Interview With A Vampire

Loustat (Louis/Lestat) - Interview With A Vampire

Wu Zetian/Gao Yizhi/Li Shimin - Iron Widow

Jane Villanueva/Petra Solano - Jane the Virgin

Dolly Parton/Jolene - Jolene by Dolly Parton

Jonathan Joestar/Dio - Jojo's Bizarre Adventure

Villaneve (Eve Polastri/Villanelle) - Killing Eve

Saixel (Saix/Axel) - Kingdom Hearts

Soriku (Sora/Riku) - Kingdom Hearts

Revalink (Revali/Link) - Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

Midna/Link - Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess

Shadowpeach (Sun Wukong/Macaque) - Lego Monkie Kid

Sterling/Nate Ford - Leverage

Loopzoop (Lupin the Third/Inspector Koichi Zenigata) - Lupin 3

Mario/Bowser - Mario

Frostiron (Loki/Tony Stark) - Marvel

Daredevil/Punisher - Marvel

Solid Snake/Ocelot - Metal Gear Solid

Ahab/Moby Dick - Moby Dick

Cleolei (Cleo De Nile/Toralei Stripe) - Monster High

Dana d��Artagnan/Rosnay “Ro” Cho - Musketeer Space

Bakudeku (Bakugou/Midoriya) - My Hero Academia

Hashimada (Uchiha Madara/Senju Hashirama) - Naruto

Mae Borowski/Bea Santello - Night in the Woods

Shanks/ Dracule Mihawk - One Piece

Gol D. Roger/Monkey D. Garp - One Piece

Bodhi/Johnny Utah - Point Break

Pikachu/Meowth - Pokemon

Red/Blue - Pokemon

Precious Metal Shipping (Trainer Gold/Rival Silver) - Pokemon Adventures

Bede/Victor - Pokemon Sword and Shield

Perfect World Shipping (Professor Sycamore/Lysandre) - Pokemon X and Y

Ahirue (Ahiru/Rue) - Princess Tutu

Galolio (Galo Thymos/Lio Fotia) - Promare

No SIgnificant Harassment/Five Pebbles - Rain World

Locus/Agent Washington - Red vs Blue

Leon S Kennedy/Jack Krauser - Resident Evil 4 Remake

Ethan Winters/Karl Heisenberg - Resident Evil 8 Village

Mayakuro (Claudine Saijo/Maya Tendo) - Revue Starlight

Noise/Youngblood - Roleslaying with Roman

Rama Raju/Kamaram Bheem - RRR

Roman/Logan - Sanders Sides

Janus/Virgil - Sanders Sides

BumaroIon (Grand Karcist Ion/Robert Bumaro) - SCP: The Sarkic and the Church of the Broken God

Shaun/Bitzer - Shaun the Sheep

Sherlock Holmes/Arsène Lupin - Sherlock Holmes

Langa Hasegawa/Ainosuke Shindo - Sk8 the Infinity

Resh/Tsadi - Sky: Children of the Light

Miraak/Herameus Mora - Skyrim

Dopey/Grumpy - Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

Peter Parker/Harry Osborne - Spiderman

Squidward Tentacles/Squilliam Fancyson - Spongebob Squarepants

Squidbob (Spongebob/Squidward) - Spongebob Squarepants

White Spy/Black Spy - Spy vs Spy

Benjamin Sisko/Gul Dukat - Star Trek

Elim Garak/Gul Dukat - Star Trek

Quodo (Quark/Odo) - Star Trek Deep Space 9

Fox McCloud/Wolf O’Donnell - Starfox

Yellow Zircon/Blue Zircon - Steven Universe

Graveline/Synestra - Team Fortress 2 Comics

Cyjinx (Jinx/Cyborg) - Teen Titans

Sonic/Robotnik - The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog

Gumrob (Gumball/Rob) - The Amazing World of Gumball

Marcus/Esca - The Eagle (2011)

Barry Allen/Leonard Snart - The Flash

Blonco (Blondie/Tuco) - The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

Elastigirl/Mirage - The Incredibles

Brom/Morzan - The Inheritance Cycle

Ellabs (Ellie/Abigail) - The Last of Us Part Two

Gideon Nav/Harrowhark Nonagesimus - The Locked Tomb

Gideon Nav/Cytheria - The Locked Tomb

Dios Apate (Augustine the First/Mercymorn the First/JOhn Gaius) - The Locked Tomb

Harrowhark Nonagesimus/Ianthe Tridentarius - The Locked Tomb

Michael/David - The Lost Boys

Julia Wicker/Marina Andrieski - The Magicians

Jonathon Sims/ Elias Buchard - The Magnus Archives

Jontim (Jonathon Sims/Tim Stoker) - The Magnus Archives

Niles/Chastity Claire “CC” Babcock - The Nanny

Darius/Alador - The Owl House

Gen/Irene - The Queen's Thief

Tedros/Rhian - The School for Good and Evil

Gondolin OT3 (Idril/Tuor/Maeglin) - The Silmarillion

Mulder/Krycek - The X Files

Red/Blue - This is How You Lose the Time War

Iceman/Maverick - Top Gun

Tom/Jerry - Tom and Jerry

Gwentney (Courtney/Gwen) - Total Drama

Lesheather (Heather/Leshawna) - Total Drama

Mandy/Clover - Totally Spies

SpinachAppreciation/CabbageAppreciation - Tumblr

Jakeward (Edward Cullen/Jacob Black) - Twilight

Noe/Vanitas - Vanitas no Carne

Victor Vale/Eli Ever - Vicious

Wenclaire (Wednesday/Enid) - Wednesday

Kevcilos (Cecil/Kevin) - Welcome to Night Vale

Lottie Matthews/Natalie Scatorccio - Yellowjackets

Angry Video Game Nerd/The Nostalgic Critic - YouTube

Seto Kaiba/Yami Yugi Moto - Yu-Gi-Oh Duel Monsters

The Contestants

Cherik (Professor X/Magneto) - X-Men

Fuffy (Faith Lehane/Buffy Summers) - Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Megop (Optimus Prime/Megatron) - Transformers

Curtwen (Curt Mega/Owen Carvour) - Spies are Forever

Thoschei (The Doctor/The Master) - Doctor Who

Perry the Platypus/Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz - Phineas and Ferb

Catradora (Adora/Catra) - She-Ra and the Princesses of Power

Soukoku (Osamu Dazai/Chuuya Nakahara) - Bungo Stray Dogs

c!TnTDuo (c!Quackity/c!Wilbur Soot) - Dream SMP

Spy/Supervillain - Genghis Khan by Miike Snow

Batman/Joker - Lego Batman

Wrightworth (Phoenix Wright/Miles Edgeworth) - Ace Attorney

Batjokes (Batman/Joker) - Batman

Lawlight (L/Light Yagami) - Death Note

Bowiugi (Bowser/Luigi) - Mario

Narrator/Stanley - The Stanley Parable

Kidlaw (Eustass Kid/Trafalgar Law) - One Piece

Shuake (Goro Akechi/Akira Kurusu) - Persona 5

Cuttletavio (Craig Cuttlefish/DJ Octavio) - Splatoon

Gethan (Rupert Giles/Ethan Rayne) - Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Zosan (Roronoa Zoro/Sanji) - One Piece

Chell/GLaDOS - Portal

Jesus Christ/Judas Iscariot - The New Testament

Gwensuzie (Gwen Cooper/Suzie Costello) - Torchwood

Krisnix (Phoenix Wright/Kristoph Gavin) - Ace Attorney

Griffguts (Guts/Griffith) - Berserk

Hannigram (Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter) - Hannibal

Girahim/Link - Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword

Valvert (Javert/Jean Valjean) - Les Miserables

Abe Lincoln/Wilford Warfstache - Markiplier Cinematic Universe

Sasunaru (Naruto/Sasuke) - Naruto

Jedediah/Octavius - Night at the Museum

Nami/Kalifa - One Piece

Gabv1el (V1/Gabriel) - Ultrakill

Kazuma Kiryu/Goro Majima - Yakuza

Zukka (Zuko/Sokka) - Avatar: The Last Airbender

Ineffable Husbands (Aziraphale/Crowley) - Good Omens

Billford (Bill Cipher/Stanford Pines) - Gravity Falls

Evelyn Deavor/Elastigirl - Incredibles 2

Jennifer/Needy - Jennifer’s Body

Kim Possible/Shego - Kim Possible

Sportarobbie (Sportacus/Robbie Rotten) - Lazy Town

Swan Queen (Emma Swan/Regina Mills) - Once Upon a Time

Hardenshipping (Magma Leader Maxie/Aqua Leader Archie) -Pokemon OmegaRuby and AlphaSapphire

Westley/Inigo Montoya - Princess Bride

Sonic/Shadow - Sonic the Hedgehog

Plankton/Mr. Krabs - SpongeBob SquarePants

Kylux (General Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren) - Star Wars

Merle Highchurch/John Hunger - The Adventure Zone: Balance

Basigan (Professor Ratigan/Basil of Baker Street) - The Great Mouse Detective

LonelyEyes (Elias Buchard/Peter Lukas) - The Magnus Archives

Johnjack (Jack Harkness/John Hart) - Torchwood

Blicy (Bloom/Icy) - Winx Club

Batman/The Riddler - Batman comics

Shin Soukoku (Atsushi Nakajima/Ryuunosuke Akutagawa) - Bungo Stray Dogs

Baz Pitch/Simon Snow - Carry On

Komahina (Nagito Komaeda/Hajime Hinata) - Danganronpa

Wonder Woman/Cheetah - DC

Rk1000 (Connor/Markus) - Detroit: Become Human

John McClane/Hans Gruber - Die Hard

Fenders (Fenris/Anders) - Dragon Age 2

Goku/Vegeta - Dragon Ball Z

Rapple (Apple White/Raven Queen) - Ever After High

Billdip (Bill Cipher/Dipper Pines) - Gravity Falls

Radiostatic (Vox/Alastor) - Hazbin Hotel

Sirdust (Angel Dust/Sir Pretious) - Hazbin Hotel

Feng Xin/Mu Qing - Heaven Official’s Blessing

Blitzer (Blitzø/Striker) - Helluva Boss

Martha Mae Whovier/Betty Lou Who - How the Grinch Stole Christmas

ZaDr (Zim/Dib) - Invader Zim

Fushimi Saruhiko/Yata Misaki - K Project

King Dedede/Meta Knight - Kirby

Gandalf/Sauron - Lord of the Rings

Island Husbands (Ben Linus/John Locke) - Lost

Megamind/Metro Man) - Megamind

Sherlock Holmes/William James Moriarty - Moriarty the Patriot

Buford/Bajeet - Phineas and Ferb

Grovyle/Dusknoir - Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Time, Darkness, and Sky

Shawn Spencer/Carlton “Lassie” Lassiter - Psych

Raya/Namaari - Raya and the Last Dragon

Mercutio/Tybalt - Romeo and Juliet

Sherliam (Sherlock Holmes/James Moriarty) - Sherlock

Anakin Skywalker/Obi-Wan Kenobi - Star Wars

Obimaul (Obi-Wan Kenobi/Darth Maul) - Star Wars

Oncelax (The Onceler/The Lorax) - The Lorax

Owen Harper/Mark Lynch - Torchwood

Lord Hater/Wander - Wander Over Yonder

Gelphie (Elphaba/Galinda) - Wicked

Cruella de Vil/Anita - 101 Dalmations

Angelo Lagusa/Nero Vanetti - 91 Days

The Conductor/DJ Grooves - A Hat in Time

Klapollo (Klavier Gavin/Apollo Justice) - Ace Attorney

Wrightdot (Godot/Phoenix Wright) - Ace Attorney

Kaneda/Tetsuo - Akira

Sydney Bristow/Lauren Reed - Alias

Ellen Ripley/The Xenomorph - Alien

Zoe Benson/Madison Montgomery - American Horror Story: Coven

Sterling Archer/Barry Dylan - Archer

Y’all (The Poll Takers)/Me (The Poll Maker) - askeletonwar

Just Walk Out!/Papyrus - askeletonwar

Londo Mollari/G’kar - Babylon 5

Rampage/Depth Charge - Beast Wars: Transformers

Pinariz (Riz/Pina) - Beastars

Kunieda Aoi/Hildegarde - Beezlebub

Grell/Sebastion - Black Butler

Gus Fring/Walter White - Breaking Bad

Spangel (Spike/Angel) - Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Spuffy (Spike/Buffy) - Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Winteriron (Tony Stark/The Winter Soldier) - Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes - Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Caius Marcius Coriolanus/Tullus Aufidius - Coriolanus

Shadowghast (Caleb Widowghast/Essek Thelyss) - Critical Role

Blumentrio (Caleb Widowghast/Eadwulf Grieve/Astrid Becke) -Critical Role

Lapin Cadbury/Sir Theobald Gumbar - D20: A Crown of Candy

Hero/Villain - dannyphantom.exe

Clex (Superman/Lex Luthor) - DC

Babsquinn (Batgirl/Harley Quinn) - DC

Jevil/Seam - Deltarune

Rengoku Kyoujurou/Akaza - Demon Slayer

Reed800 (Connor/Gavin Reed) - Detroit: Become Human

Akira/Ryo - Devilman

Nikki/Mackenzie - Dork Diaries

Gell/Frisky - Dot X

Dr. Horrible/Captain Hammer - Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog

Count Dracula/Jonathon Harker - Dracula

Joan Watson/Jamie Moriarty - Elementary

Zerxus Ilerez/Asmodeus - Exandria Unlimited: Calamity

Gratsu (Natsu Dragneel/Gray Fullbuster) - Fairy Tail

Gary/John - Faith

John Crichton/Scorpius - Farscape

Emiya Archer/Cu Chulainn - Fate Stay Night

Nero tol Scaeva/Cid Garlond - Final Fantasy XIV

Henry Emily/William Afton - Five Nights at Freddy’s

Victor Frankenstein/The Monster - Frankenstein

Cure Peach/Eas - Fresh Pretty Cure!

Alhaitham/Kaveh - Genshin Impact

Sugimoto/Ogata - Golden Kamuy

Ed/Oswald - Gotham

Mabel Pines/Pacifica Northwest - Gravity Falls

Hinata/Kageyama - Haikyuu!

Gordon/Benrey - Half-Life VRT But the AI is Self-Aware

Veronica Sawyer/Heather Chandler - Heathers

Chai/Kale Vandelay - HI-FI Rush

Lace/Hornet - Hollow Knight: Silksong

Batman/Superman - Holy Musical Batman

Marquise Spinneret Mindfang/Neophyte Redglare - Homestuck

Karkat Vantas/John Egbert - Homestuck

Vrisrezi (Vriska Serket/Terezi Pyrope) - Homestuck

Rhaenyra Targaryen/Alicent Hightower - House of the Dragon

Ryan Akagi/Min-Gi Park - Infinity Train

[sybilius]

Mainlining an OT3 ship that has the fandom fave ship in it is great because you can look at fan art of the fandom fave ship and quietly in the back of your head be like “ah, but. their other partner is looking on adoringly <3 “ 

[incorrectrawhidequotes]

Blondie/Tuco <3

(Re-blogging because I expanded my answer)

Ooooooo, fun one. I’m gonna go with; 

“Troublemaker” - Olly Murs (X)

Trouble troublemaker, yeah That's your middle name I know you're no good but you're stuck in my brain And I wanna know Why does it feel so good but hurt so bad? My mind keeps saying, "Run as fast as you can." I say, "I'm done," but then you pull me back I swear you're giving me a heart attack Troublemaker!

“True Love” - Pink (X)

There's no one quite like you You push all my buttons down I know life would suck without you At the same time, I wanna hug you I wanna wrap my hands around your neck You're an asshole but I love you And you make me so mad I ask myself Why I'm still here, or where could I go You're the only love I've ever known But I hate you, I really hate you So much, I think it must be True love, true love

and maybe

“One More Night” - Maroon 5 (X) 

You and I go hard at each other like we're going to war You and I go rough, we keep throwing things and slamming the door You and I get so damn dysfunctional, we stopped keeping score You and I get sick, yeah, I know that we can't do this no more Yeah, but baby there you go again, there you go again, making me love you Yeah, I stopped using my head, using my head, let it all go Got you stuck on my body, on my body, like a tattoo And now I'm feeling stupid, feeling stupid, crawling back to you

[bleak-nomads]

bleeding across state lines - The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly ‘70s au’ 

Part ii: The Road (Chapters 17-30)

Tuco blows the paper wrapping off a straw, the way a kid does.

Walks over to place it between the prisoner’s lips. He sips, gratefully. And the tone of the room changes as surely as if someone had flicked off the light switch. She can’t guess what made him do it, amongst the raised voices and violent movements, cops encircling close to ask him hot searching questions.

Anybody like that, anybody like her, ought to know better. Not get themselves hurt, maimed, imprisoned maybe, for the sake of a stranger they don’t even know. Unopposable authority, the inevitable blow, and she can’t stop herself crying out, as Tuco hits the floor hard and lets out a wail-

and then, the miracle happens.

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Read Part ii on Ao3 * Series on Ao3

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I’ve got my new fic admin + small additions project and it is -- finally cleaning up the text of bleeding across state lines from an out of order series of tumblr posts! \o/ 

All my thanks to @thatdeepandlovelydark for giving me the reins with the story, and of course for writing most of the ~100k words that will soon be on Ao3 for your joy as well as mine :)

I’ll be posting in two chunks, this first is The Road. Stay tuned for The Priory!

[believerindaydreams]

bleeding across state lines

the one where I finally write the trio on a road trip

and everything’s on fire

(metaphorically, mostly)

“Tell me what price it’ll take,” Angel Eyes asks Tuco. “For you to go away.”

“At eighty miles an hour, in lonely desert? Nothing on earth.” They are both in the back seat of a landaulette, some expensive imported car, a far cry from the peanut butter-scented Plymouth they’d been gallivanting around in. Blondie doesn’t hold with calling shotgun, it turns out. “Now if you mean, after we’ve stopped...“

“I’ve killed men for making better jokes than that,” Angel Eyes says; and though it’s never entirely possible to tell when he’s being serious, Tuco’s decided to treat all references to the man’s profession as a laugh. For the sake of his own sanity, mostly. “Not today, or tomorrow. A man doesn’t fall out of love all in one day. What I’m asking is what would make it worthwhile to you, to try.”

“Nothing you could afford,” Tuco says, fiddling with the straps on a green Duluth pack. He’s not going to make the mistake of providing an opening offer, when he’s the one holding the cards for a change. “Besides, what makes you think I could tell you how to keep him? Blondie goes his own way.” He raises his voice, above the car’s bustling motor. “Isn’t that right, Blondie?”

Not much of a response; but the figure in front of them dips his head a little, in a way Tuco chooses to interpret as a nod. He turns back to Angel Eyes. “Anyway, you ask me the wrong question. What you want to know is, why did he leave you in the first place...or else, I just take your coin and laugh in your face a year later, when he comes back again.”

“What makes you think he’ll come back to you, and not somebody else?”

“You must think so,” Tuco says, with undercutting meekness. (He can afford it, he’s won this hand.) “Or you wouldn’t have made the offer...”

“Quarreling over me like two dogs and a piece of meat,” Blondie calls, not even turning his head. “You got anything better to do?”

“No,” Angel Eyes says, rather shortly. “Stay out of this, you never did mind having your ego stoked.”

That much is true; and Tuco hates himself for snickering. “You know what the problem is, you want the one who’s not for sale. I’m for sale. Enough money, the right toys, you know you’d have me for life, so you don’t care about me. You want the one who walked away from all that...”

“Because?”

“I think that’s what Blondie’s taking you to find out,” Tuco says, shrugging. “Maybe the problem will be, you can’t meet his price.”

“I could buy and sell anybody you’ve ever met, Tuco.” 

That’s the first time that Angel Eyes has used his name; and he’s thankful for the breeze, to explain a shiver down his spine. “Then what do you worry about, eh? What kind of competition do you think I am?”

“Every kind of competition,” Blondie says, throwing on the brakes so abruptly, the two of them nearly careen out of their seats. The car screeches a long, hideous wail behind it as it slows, spinning around more than once, skidding to a halt half a mile down the road; Tuco clutches his seat belt with both hands and privately blesses his mother, for making him swear to always use them. (Shaky handwriting on a postcard, with a saint’s medal taped to the side. He hasn’t seen his mother in years.)

To Tuco’s disappointment, Angel Eyes doesn’t say a thing about the state of his car. So he understands something, at least. 

“Do either of you know where we are?” Blondie demands. 

“Wrong side of the border,” Tuco says indifferently. 

“About seventy miles from civilisation,” Angel Eyes says. “Closer the direction we were going, than the way we came.”

“At least one of you was paying attention, then,” Blondie says, unbuckling his own belt. “Now, that wouldn’t be such a bad thing. Tuco’s smart enough, when he wants to be,“ he says to Angel Eyes. “The trouble with him is when he gets lazy, sometimes he won’t notice in time when the situation’s changed...get out, both of you, and watch the road. I’ll check the tires.”

They get out. Angel Eyes leans against the car; Tuco sets himself down on the asphalt, warmed by summer twilight. It’ll leave marks on his jeans, but that’s nothing new; and they might be here a while. 

There’s a pop from the trunk, the movement of tools. Blondie’s light footsteps- and it all feels so good, so necessary to him suddenly, in ways maybe nobody could ever understand, what it’s like to be out in this desert country with wind on his face and sepia dust coating his boots, a moment when who he is and who he pretends to be are in sudden absolute agreement- 

and there’s a terrible clamour behind them, of metal breaking. He jumps up, to see Blondie pounding in the engine with a sledgehammer. 

“The hell,” Angel Eyes says, the same bored way he might ask a harried waitress for more coffee, “do you think you’re doing?”

Blondie tosses the sledgehammer aside, wipes his face with a grimy bandana. “It was easier with Tuco. Tuco never had anything in the first place, so anything I could give him was a bonus. You’re harder, Angel Eyes. You wasted so much time trying to prove you could give me anything, you never stopped to think- maybe this is what I wanted. A struggle, like this, days away from hope or help, because that’s the only kind of struggle worth living.”

“I would almost believe,” Angel Eyes says, “that Baker double-crossed me. Or that you’re that insurance he hinted about, before I killed him.” 

“Could be,” Blondie agrees. “But look at it this way- I’m giving myself just as fair a chance as you have.”

“And you decided to burden us with his dead weight, just to lower our chances?“

“Speak for yourself,” Tuco retorts. “You want to sleep in a tent tonight, eat food cooked in a pot instead of a hubcap? I’m the one who brought all that gear,” he says, tapping his Duluth pack. 

Blondie stares at him, lets out a harsh-edged chuckle. “You know, I thought I’d caught you on the hop this time. After seven years, you still thought I might repeat this same stunt on you?”

“By every saint in the calendar,” Tuco says, rather wearily. “You think a man forgets this kind of treatment, Blondie? I sleep with you, that doesn’t mean I trust you.”

“He was never this insane at my mansion,” Angel Eyes says to him- to him, and not at all to Blondie. “I thought as much, but he never would prove it.”

“You stick around long enough, he’ll prove it as often as you like.”

There is a little tchk! of disapproval as Angel Eyes lights a cigarette, a sound that makes Tuco’s whole heart go out to him for a moment, for it sounds so very familiar. Just the way he’d felt, when he’d first come to realise what sort of man he’d fallen in with. 

“About that price, Angel Eyes...there are some days when you could offer me two bits, and take him with my blessing.”

“Don’t think I’d turn you down,” Angel Eyes growls; and a certain sympathy, if not rapport, is established. 

[seerstella]

there are two types of spurs people

[nerdwhoauthorinserts]

Some random selfship meme?

I can’t find it anymore, but there was this meme for self-shipping I saw somewhere that basically said:

Step 1: Open Spotify Step 2: Go to your liked songs Step 3: Turn on shuffle Step 4: Start playing the playlist. Step 5: Think of a f/o before the songs start, that song (Given it has lyrics and isn't fandom-related.) will describe your relationship with that F/O.

For fun, I decided to do it, and uh-...

-Advanced warning! Some of these songs contain swearing, and the song for Aaravos is slightly suggestive in places-

Loki Odinson:

   UHHHHH- while the original song I find fairly endearing, this version? It honestly gives me some thriller/stalker vibes, which is not a good sign. Based on the lyrics though? ‘My only friend was a stray kitty’ especially? I’m getting the feeling that in this instance, I’m the stalker. Oh, no-

Scarecrow/Jonathan Crane:

   Oooh, I love Mother Mother songs. Let's see... Well, I gotta say, it does have Scarecrow's vibe. The song is about trying to force change in yourself, but said change isn't working (And you end up hurting yourself by trying to in the process.) Or...at least that's my read of it.

   So, Someone tried to change themselves for the relationship and it didn't work, which ended up hurting them? Sounds like a failed villain redemption and subsequent relapse to me. (Try to be not a villain for your civilian partner, only to end up turning around later type of thing?) ...So, I'm gonna assume this is BTAS Scarecrow, then-

Brahms Heelshire:

   I- I mean... well first of all, the 'dressed in green' line would imply that Brahms is the frog, seeing as his cardigan's green and I never wear green, in fact, I usually wear black or brown, which are actual scorpion colours anyway-

Tomura Shigaraki:

   Ooooh, that's a nice match. Honestly, yeah, it kind of feels that way, especially with what quirk I gave my S/I, and Shiggo's quirk as well. 

   Sounds like someone attempting to coerce someone else into joining a ‘team’, only to finally open their heart to said person, and right then, that person they coerced gets hurt because they were joining that team? Idk, maybe you could replace that 'team' thing with the LOV? (Or the Paranormal liberation front?) Either way, sounds angsty, I'm in!

Aaravos:

   Well, that's certainly not what I expected-

   Okay, so what am I getting from this... Well, duality first of all, perhaps indecisiveness? So this is probably talking about me then, haha. Honestly from that context, this makes way more sense.

Newt Scamander:

   Yeah, I feel like the lyrics on this one are pretty self-explanatory. Person the song is in pov of was in a bad relationship before and they’re scared to be open to their new lover.

   Honestly, in the context of this involving Newt, it reminds me of this 'x reader fic' I came across at one point, that involved the reader coming home from fighting in WW2 and being severely affected by it. It was pretty good all things considered.

Prince Stolas:

   Wait, isn't this song about being trans? Regardless, lyrics-wise sounds pretty accurate, to me at least, especially in the story I gave him with my S/I. Poor man didn't deserve all that hardship, he only has his daughter and his man and me, now.

Viktor (Arcane)

   I swear to god, it was on shuffle, I promise- What a coincidence that it ended up being the awesome song from his own source! Though, that doesn't bode well for the relationship, I guess. Sounds like it'll be angsty, oh no. But then again, knowing who Viktor is, I suppose that's kind of a given.

   I get vibes of 'everything is crumbling down around us, so let's spend these last few moments of normalcy together' from this match up. (Which should make sense with where Viktor ends up going in LOL lore.)

Rook Blonco:

   I can't say I expected this one either. I also can't say I'm super clear on who in this dynamic would be the one who's pov this song is from here?

   Obviously, more angst. The song is about changing yourself for someone you love, a theme we saw with Scarecrow as well. Hmm, there's a lot more angst here than I expected...

Vilkas (Skyrim):

   Oh no. Vilkas, hun, don't say shit like this, you're breaking your husband's heart- 

   Bad snippet of the song since you can’t actually hear any lyrics, but yeah. Nothing like a little bit of ‘I don’t think they’d really love me’ to get the heart wrenching, right?

Anyway, though!

   That's all the ones I'll do for now, trying to figure out how to embed stuff like this frustrated me, so- Yeah.

[msindrad]

Been away for a while

I was tagged by @sigurism. Three ships: let’s make it four: Julien de Saint Preux / Guillaume de Saint Preux, Corey / Vogel, Manco / Douglas Mortimer, Raylan Givens / Boyd Crowder Last song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4p9glJLU3ck First ever ship: can’t say, but Matthew Brown / Will Graham from Hannibal has personally affected me a lot Last film: Qua La Mano (1980) Currently reading: Der Tod in Venedig, Histoire de ma vie Currently watching: Babylon Berlin, giving it a try for the second time  Currently craving: peace, guidance, inspiration, hot chocolate, Mikelangelo Loconte (sorry) Tagging: @myfairsherly, @seadem-on, @thecrowhand, @avacrowder. @bloncos, @toli-a, @theninjazebra

[quintsmachete]

i feel like if eli wallach was alive and had a twitter he’d be the one that would be down with people shipping blondie & tuco. don’t ask me why i just Feel like he’d be the one that when ppl ask him how he feels abt blonco as a ship he’d be like “well they really only had each other ;) ;) ;)” and shit like that

[footprintswordprints]

When the editing ships it

Big shout out to @seadem-on for drawing my attention to this video about Leone’s editing of the trio scene. My thoughts on this guy’s thoughts:

- “The Good The Bad and The Ugly provides a great example of the range of things that film can express besides a story.”

A really interesting quote in which I think the author is referring to cinematography and editing that expresses something by itself / for its own sake. But, for me, this quote also encapsulates why I like GBU - it’s about other, more fundamental things than the story, which is a pretty simple quest narrative. It’s about survival, and masculinity, and loneliness, and relationships or the lack of them, and humanity or the lack of it.

- The editing foreshadows the ending by expressing mental relationships

Yep and I think this is why myself (and a few other people on here, from what I can gather) only started shipping Blonco until after this scene. It’s the surprisingly wholesome yet (sexual-)tension-filled culmination of the uneasy alliance between Blondie and Tuco.

- “Then we see each man’s weapon in close up.”

OK THEN.

- One of Blondie’s main objectives in this scene is making sure Angel Eyes doesn’t shoot Tuco

I hadn’t explicitly thought of this, but it 100% fits with my feeling that Blondie unloads Tuco’s gun to take him out of the equation and, ultimately, protect him. It’s not that Blondie doesn’t want Tuco to shoot him (although a tiny bit of self-preservation never hurt anyone) - it’s that he doesn’t want to shoot Tuco - and, by extension, he doesn’t want Angel Eyes to shoot Tuco either.

- Blondie and Tuco get 7 shots in the edit each, setting them up as equals, whereas Angel Eyes gets 11

This is an INCREDIBLY good bit of trivia, god.

- Angel Eyes comes to the realisation that Blondie and Tuco have an alliance, so he has to draw first to end the stand off 

Tbh, I’m not sure if this is actually a fact, or just this guy’s opinion, but it sounds like he ships Blonco either way.

- The editing explicitly links Blondie and Tuco together - their faces are shown after each other multiple times, and each time their eyes come closer to meeting

Ok this guy now sounds like he runs a Blonco side blog. And also I’m wondering if this specific bit of editing is what pushed me over the Blonco edge?? 

Basically - is it fangirling? Or is it a deep and insightful appreciation and understanding of editing techniques?

(Jk it’s still fangirling. But this has given me Much To Think About.)