#ship: bj x hawk

[s0ftpining]

request for my friend @pomegranate of some domestic boys... outfits inspired by this iconic post

[majorbaby]

I don't mean to be rude or offensive, I'm really just curious, are there any m/f ships you really like in mash or other fandoms?

oh that's not offensive in the least. i think what can get grating is when people are rude about "everything being about gay ships all the time" when i've made it pretty clear that there's a lot of gay stuff on my blog and if someone doesn't like it they can avoid me pretty easily.

so, a few things: 1) i'm relatively new to shipping and it doesn't rank high for me amongst things that draw me into a narrative or fandom - i am not dedicated to many ships in general.

2) even if i can logically 'see' a ship, i like to write smut so if i'm not turned on by the idea of these people fucking then i won't have more than a passing interest in them as a ship. i can be into a fic that uses sex to explore a dynamic without being into the sex itself, but it's not where the majority of my time is spent. that said, i've been in this MASH box so long I've produced fic i would've never dreamed of writing when i first started the show. see: infinite monkey theorum for why that might be lol.

in general, i wouldn’t say gender affects what appeals to me in a ship or a character. i like traphawk because of the nature of their relationship, not specifically because theyre both men, although in their case, the two of them being each other’s non trad partners is relevant to the anti-establishmentarian themes of the show. I dont think it would be half as effective, and therefore as impactful on me, if they were a het ship. their joint commitment to being little shits is why i love them so much together.

ANYWAY to actually answer your question: yes

within MASH i'm really into: margaret/trapper, ginger/trapper, almost any threesome with hawk/trap + a lady friend, hawkeye/kyungsoon

passing interest in: trapper/louise, hawkeye/margaret, hawkeye/bigelowe, hawkeye/carlye, klinger/soon lee, frank/margaret, ginger/oliver

highly situational crackships: trapper/carlye, BJ/aggie, hawkeye/kellye, trapper/kellye, hawkeye/peg hunnicutt

other het ships i'm into to varying degrees from very popular fandoms: katara/zuko (atla), rose/nine (dw), ten/martha (dw), ten/rose (dw), roy/riza (fma), batman/wonder woman (dc comics), nightwing/batgirl (dc comics), ollie/dinah (dc comics), rogue/gambit (marvel comics), han/leia (star wars)

... altho now that i think of it, the caveat with most of these is that with the exception of roy/riza, i don't think i endgame ship any of these. i won't not read a fic that implies they're endgame, i just don't think i really "OTP" any of these, I just enjoy them for various reasons.

honourable mention: mulder/scully - have not seen the x-files but i believe in them.

[onekisstotakewithme]

Not an attack I just genuinely don’t see it and think you could explain it v well: Could you explain Charles x Hawkeye?

I will do my best to answer this in good faith 💜

And also I am only speaking for myself here, and what I see in Charles/Hawkeye.

I believe that the two of them are set up as narrative foils.

We are told and shown that Hawkeye is probably the best surgeon they have before Charles shows up. Maybe not the best of all time, the best at technique, the most up-to-date, but in Henry's words, he's the best "when the heat's on".

(We're told and shown about the others being good doctors - BJ being 'top ten every time he graduated' for one - but Hawkeye is the best when the heat's on, which is why he's the chief surgeon).

And then season 6 rolls around and in walks Harvard-educated thoracic surgeon Charles Emerson Winchester the Third, who has a nose in the air and the surgical skill to back it up. His first episode he performs a surgery that the other doctors couldn't pull off.

We're even told more than once that Charles and Hawkeye are alike - and their dreams are actually thematically similar in "Dreams", indicating that they're a lot more similar than either would admit if pressed. Both have a deep seated fear of failure, of not being enough, of not having the necessary skills to save lives.

Charles also, where Frank Burns was the consistent victim, actually becomes a comrade to the boys - he fights back, for one thing. Frank probably would've just gone to the Colonel and then gone about his day after the snake in the bed incident, but Charles reciprocated by putting the snake in Hawkeye's bed.

He can get along with them if he wants to - he just so rarely wants to.

Hawkeye is also one of the few people that Charles can even be semi-casually physical with. There's lots of wrist-grabbing ("Yessir That's Our Baby" and... I want to say "Bottoms Up" springs to mind), and touching and that big tackle-hug at the end of "Temporary Duty".

But of course the big thing, the big reason I ended up shipping them personally, was "Sons and Bowlers". It was a choice having Charles be the one that Hawkeye confided in. It let Hawk see what the audience has seen in stolen moments - that Charles deep down is a kind man. He seems like the anti-Hawkeye, but he isn't at his core. Charles lets Hawkeye confide in him, and reciprocates in kind by being emotionally honest about his own father. He even calls him Hawkeye!!!

I don't know, anon, I just like watching Charles slowly become a nicer person and open up to the 4077, and him and Hawkeye are narrative foils so it goes hand in hand. @blue-ravens could probably say it better 💜

[kidhawks]

What it BJ started a relationship with Rei like him of all people (and he gets to stick around Hawks too!)

Also their ship name is apparently Snowpants!

omg snowpants

i have heard of this ship yes... i think it’s wonderful. do u guys remember rei x gang orca lmao

honestly though i can’t imagine the walking chaos that is jeanist being in a relationship. he’d be like “the jeans stay on in bed”

[aizawaskittenwhore]

𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐮𝐭

pairing: cartel!shota aizawa x fem!reader

words: 2.4k

warnings: swearing, this will be a cartel!au, so mentions of c*ke and distribution...yeah lol, suggestive content towards the end of the chapter (vague description of a bj), angst, cheating, aizawa just ain’t shit in this story LMFAOOO

a/n: this is the third fucking time i’ve tried to post this so if it doesn’t work i’m gonna cry. but I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS ONE and i can’t wait for you all to see what i’ve got planned. so uh...strap yourselves in it’s about to get crazy. sorry ms joke </3

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧𝐞: 𝐂𝐨��𝐚’ 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐂𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐬

The salty, warm breeze from the ocean whipped its way through Shota’s onyx locks, tossing them around with a gentle force. Miami was gorgeous from the water, skyscrapers alight with the buzzing energy of the city, streets crawling with good food and even better looking women. Gorgeous full lips wrapped around martini glasses, criminally short dresses clinging to any skin it was given. He didn’t care much for the nightlife, opting to observe the partygoers from a distance.

He wasn’t here to socialize.

He was here to work.

His wrists draped over the edge of the rail that separated him and the water, a small portion of his weight against the cool metal. When Hizashi suggested that he get a yacht he nearly spat out his whiskey, face contorted in an expression of annoyance and disdain. Shota didn’t understand why someone would need such a flashy boat, it was merely a watercraft meant for travel and or fishing. This wasn’t the 1400’s where one’s worth was tied to the size of a man’s ship. Just another glorified pissing contest for rich people with too much money, and not enough couple’s therapy in the world that could keep them home for days at a time.

It’s not as if he was in any position to judge though, his pinky coming to rest just below the silver band that rarely inhabited his ring finger these days. He doesn’t entirely know what possessed him to wear it, whether it be the ever-crushing guilt from lying to his wife, or the text he’d received from Emi this morning that read:

“Make sure to bring me back a mojito! Don’t work yourself too hard, and remember how much I love you!💕”

If only she knew that these tri-monthly “Inter-Departmental Hero Conferences” were just fronts for selling a literal boat-load of cocaine.

Turns out, yachts were really good for that.

In the span of just five years, superhuman society was nearing it’s peak. Upon the graduation of all the students in the 1-A Hero Course, and Izuku Midoriya’s induction as the new Symbol of Peace; the world began to see an astronomical shift. Crime rates were the lowest they’d ever been, with Japan and the States sitting at 2 and 4.5 percent, respectively. Newly minted Pro Heroes roamed the streets, bringing security to those who needed it and striking fear into the hearts of those who were on the wrong side of the law.

But this utopia came at a price. With the sudden influx of fresh and talented pros, crime decreased exponentially, leaving little villain-based work for Heroes to get paid for. Hostage situations and evacuation efforts took backseat to helping older women across the street and assisting young children with their schoolwork. Soon enough, peace became a burden for those whose careers surrounded chaos.

Aizawa was no exception to this dilemma. Once Midoriya and his classmates graduated and obtained their Hero Licenses, he’d ended his tenure as an instructor at UA. He felt that he’d done his civic duty as a teacher and a Pro, and produced some of the finest Heroes the world would come to see. So he began to settle down. Surprisingly, he’d begun to tolerate Joke’s incessant laughter and boisterous personality, and soon fell in love with the eccentric woman. Between patrols and giving advice to aspiring Heroes at the community center, he and Emi explored all the the world had to offer; swapping out steel-toed combat boots for soft plush flip flops against hot sand. After three years he’d proposed, much to Emi’s delight (and Ashido’s upon hearing that Mr. Aizawa could actually tolerate another human being). The ceremony was small, and intimate. Shinsou serving as the ring bearer, and Eri as the flower girl. Mic even shed a few tears during the toast, though he’ll deny it if Kayama ever brings it up.

For a while, things were good. Life was good. Emi was glowing with the energy of a new life blossoming inside her, and Shota fantasized about meeting his little girl, counting all of her dainty fingers and toes, and doting on her for all to see.

Or at least it was, before agencies began to close. Paychecks got smaller and smaller. Heroes were struggling to find work and their pockets began to struggle along with them. With Emi on maternity leave, and Hero society coming to a standstill, things were looking grim. He needed to provide for his family, his wife, his children.

He needed a plan, and fast.

Luckily, Hizashi always did have good standing with everyone’s favorite Bird Boy. So he called in a few favors.

“Just for a couple months man! We stir up a little bit of noise, make a couple ripples and bam! Crime rate’s back up, and we get back to makin’ money. It’s temporary. Nobody will ever know, I’ll make sure of it. I got you.” Hizashi pleaded, an arm slung across Aizawa’s shoulders as he pensively gazed into his glass of amber liquid. He’d done some vigilante work here and there in his twenties but this....this was outright criminal. But what choice did he have?

Just a few months, he’d said. If only it’d worked out that way.

“I was getting worried you wouldn’t show, Eraser!” Zhu thundered, hands clapping joyously at the other man’s timeliness. “That’s some boat you got there, let me guess...the wife’s idea?” He queried, eyebrows waggling emphatically as Aizawa descended from the metal ladder and onto the wooden pier; eyes rolling into the back of his head at Zhu’s...excitable personality. The two had known each other for about two years or so, having gotten acquainted over the course of Shota’s many trips between Japan and the States, and sometimes South America. Zhu Kanaka was a man of the lower ranks, opting to use his easygoing disposition to negotiate deals for Takami “Lord of The Skies” Keigo, better known as Hawks. Standing at a solid 6 foot 4, with thick black locks that spiked into a point reminiscent of an onion, thick bushy brows and a set jaw, you’d think he wouldn’t hesitate to punt anyone like a football.

At least until he opened his mouth.

“As it turns out, Emi hates the damn thing. Makes her seasick. Hizashi talked me into getting the fuckin’ eyesore.” He intoned. His left hand palmed his slacks for the emergency pack of cigarettes he kept in his back pocket for when he was stressed during a deal, although he never really needed them anymore after Eri said she wanted him to quit. He still held on to them though, just in case. “The hell you waiting for? You know the deal man. Let’s see it.” He muttered, silently willing for Zhu to get on with it so he could get in a bed. Three and a half hours on a goddamned boat (that you didn’t even want to begin with) will do that to you.

“Someone looks like he needs a nap. Alright, I got ya. Count it, make sure it’s all there. I had Thing 1 and Thing 2 back there pack it, so you might wanna double check.” Zhu quipped, jerking a thumb towards the two young men currently engaged in a heated game of Rock, Paper, Scissors; the pair of them flushing upon receiving one of Aizawa’s infamous stares. Two thick black duffles were handed to his two bodyguards, the men immediately unzipping and checking the stacks, a mental tally steadily climbing higher and higher as they sifted through the cash.

“He’s good. Four hundred thousand in each bag. It’s all there, Eraser.” Sato affirmed, Toru nodding alongside the man. “Good. Go ahead and call Jamie, tell him to bring the car around. Zhu, I’ll send Sato and Toru to help your men unload our shipment. It’s a hefty one, so you’ll need the assistance.” Shota offered, shoulders visibly relaxing at the thought of getting some alone time in an empty hotel room.

“Yeah that’d be great, thanks! How long you in town for?”

“Until about 3pm tomorrow. I’ll be on my flight back to Kyushu then.” He states, right arm extending to clasp the other man’s hand in a firm grip. “You’re goin to that meeting the Big Man’s holding in a few days right?” Zhu queries. “Unfortunately, yes. Gonna miss my little girl’s first doctor’s appointment for this shit.”

“No way! She had the baby?!?!? Congratulations man! How’s it feel?” Zhu exclaims, eyes alight with joy for his friend’s new addition to the family. “Feels good. She had a smooth pregnancy, everything worked out fine. Hana’s beautiful, and healthy. I couldn’t be more proud.” Shota brags slightly, heart swelling at the thought of his little girl and how proud he was to know he’d helped in making someone so...ethereal. “Wow. Raising another kid, you flying out all the damn time, along with whatever else you got goin on?? No wonder you look like shit.”

Red eyes and floating hair caused Zhu to immediately retract his former statement.

“Aw I’m just joshin’ Eraser! But I hear ya. It’s a lotta’ sacrifices that go into this, but they’re who we do it for. All of it. Ya know?” Zhu amends, eyes shimmering with the reflection of the city lights off of the water.

Did he even know who... or what he was doing this for anymore?

Shota found himself asking that question more and more often as of late.

“...Right.”

“Anyway, you’re probably spent, so I’ll leave you to it. It was good seeing you man, send Emi my love!” Zhu shouted as he slowly walked towards the men unloading his boat. “Likewise. Tell Macie and the kids I said hello.” Aizawa responded dryly, body screaming for some kind of relief from this exhaustion.

“Will do! Oh, by the way! You might wanna bring some cooler clothes and sunscreen with your pale ass, I hear Guadalajara’s pretty sunny around this time of year! See you in a few days man!” The male laughed, throwing him a wave as he slowly disappeared into the darkness of the port. Massaging the bridge of his nose in irritation, Aizawa nodded in acknowledgement as Jamie pulled up alongside him; his hand reaching for the handle and dragging his siphoned body into the backseat.

Jamie could sense his employer’s weary expression, and didn’t make any attempts at conversation, merely opting to start making his way to the hotel while smooth jazz floated through the car. Forehead against the door of the towncar, Shota typed out a quick message to his wife:

“Alcohol is the last thing you need sweetheart, and I love you too. Got another meeting in a few days, mandatory. I’ll in be in Mexico, so I’ll miss Hana’s appointment. I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to the two of you.”

Sent.

The message sat for a few seconds before Emi read and typed out a response:

“Aw, bummer! </3 Dont worry, work is much more important right now. I’ll be sure to take lots of pictures!”

“You don’t have to make it up to us, you caring is enough. Get some sleep old man, me and the girls love you. xoxo, Wifey 😘 ”

He didn’t deserve her.

He didn’t deserve any of them.

This he knew. And yet, it didn’t stop him from responding to the unknown number that texted his phone every time he happened to be in town.

“Same time and place? Desperately in the mood to play....My toys just aren’t as good as yours, Eraser. ;)”

His heart sank. A beat passes. Then two.

Calloused thumbs move fluidly across the screen. He’s done this far too many times.

“Be there in 10. You know the routine.”

And in retrospect...he would’ve been way better off just blowing off Guadalajara and going to Hana’s appointment.

Because while he wrapped her slick ponytail around his hand, as a head that wasn’t his wife’s dipped between his legs, he didn’t think this would be his last moment of peace. Shoved down the throat of a woman who’s name he had long forgotten, settling for calling her whatever pet name he felt like adorning her with, her hands clawing at the soft and sleek cotton of his trousers.

Aizawa never anticipated that this would be the last time he would be in a room without immediate reinforcements, and be content.

The last time someone he didn’t trust with his life knew his location, and he wasn’t terrified.

The last moments of peace in his world before it all went to hell.

Temecula, California;

1:36am

The office floor was barren. Dark, coffee stained carpet congealed with the bacteria of old and new; giving it a sad beige color from the creamy foam-like white it was when the building was built. Cubicles cluttered with miscellaneous paperwork from separate departments, all of it raining down from desk to desk like a fresh layer of snow on the first day of winter. Tired, weary hands typed at a computer with precision and accuracy, the warm glow from the screen illuminating the buttons on her blouse as she plowed through each document. Her body raged for a moment of rest, but she couldn’t give in. Not when so much was at stake, not when so much needed to be done in so little time.

After a few minutes, and approximately twelve sips of bittersweet lukewarm coffee, the fingers came to a halt. A sigh of relief was freed from her body as she pushed the enter button on the dusty, tan keyboard and began to pack up for the night. Since the computers were set on an activity timer, there was no need for her to physically shut it down. After 30 seconds of no visible movement, the screen flashed a message declaring that the activity would be suspended within the next 2 minutes if no motion was detected. Content with her work, she slung her work bag over her shoulder, and trudged towards the elevator, mentally clocking out for the night.

As the elevator slowly carried its passenger down, the computer continued its countdown before discontinuing its power, leaving the following words for nobody but its future recipient to read:

Drug Enforcement Agency Operative Travel Request:

Agent: L/N, F/N

Current Operation: Potential formation of a rising cartel under the leadership and or affiliation of Pro Heroes Hawks, Endeavor, and Eraserhead. Agent has been undercover for eight months and twenty-seven days.

Investigation Status: Active

Location of Travel: Guadalajara, Mexico

Reason for Request: Possible gathering of multiple Hero-Run plazas to discuss further movement. Will gather more intel and gain trust of suspects involved/acquire more resources for investigation.

Travel Request Status: Accepted.

[ignitification]

I dont really get it why does best jeanist act like he is old bestie of h and e. Like I know for sure that e and h have a nice friendship that developed in each arc. But bj? He came here and acts like he was h's bestie this whole time and like e is his good old bro or smth. I dont like that he is with e and h because he got zero development in relationship with both of them. He just randomly drops and than starts following e and h for some reason and no him being no 3 is not an exuse because he acts like he was with e and h all along while he wasnt and he seems like a third wheel (I don't mean e x h ship I mean that he seems really off it feels like hori just wanted hawks to have a car because he cant fly yet so he put bj with him)

Well, I am sure that behind the scenes BJ and Hox collaborated (remember that it is BJ who Hox supposedly killed in order to enter in the PLF graces) to organise the coup on the villains, and shared moments in which, as top heroes, he to work together. But I also don’t think your reasoning is wrong: BJ has very little purpose but his Quirk and his little mentorship over Bakugou in the past arcs, and now as support for E and H, and as representation of the pro-heroes party. Let’s put it in an easy political way: BJ has always belonged to a party - which lately has been under attack and a lot of people abandoned the ship because it is clearly sinking, therefore as someone who believes in the values that the party promotes, and one of the most famous representatives of it, as well as a contributor to it - he feels that it is his duty to help his comrades to make the party survive. It still feels out of nowhere, especially because his character has been an extra at most in the past and now his presence is just non sense and irritating, especially due to his view of E, the issues with Dabi and heroes in general. It feels like a bad joke, but then again, which political party Isn’t?

[beej-honnecticutt]

Well this is my time to shine:

LOGAN’S MASH FIC RECS:

I mostly read hunnihawk- and only finished works because I’m weak- so here they go, hope you like them!

• first one’s called the kiss , it’s a Drabble about them annoying a homophobic soldier :)

• next one, confiteors. This is a compilation of letters a historian made of hunnihawk’s correspondence with Erin’s help… man, did I love it.

• Bait and switch , another BJ goes to Maine fic - because there are never too many - and love declarations. This is the definition of idiots in love and mutual pining.

• oh, this is definitely one of my favourite ones, one of my first one’s too. A wrong turn at Hawaii. SO good, it’s a one-shot, 2000 words, fantastic characterisation.

• here we have a gold mine, Discovery. First one so far that’s not Hawk-or-Beej-centered, but Charles. Yes. Charles Emerson Winchester III. Ah, Charles & Hawk bonding, mentions of homophobia, conversion therapy, and a hint of trauma and abuse. Also, Klinger x Charles, and hunnihawk as a secondary ship.

• and last but not least we have this piece of art, when the autumn comes down. Pure angst, it’ll make you feel four thousands of feelings at the same time, but it has a happy ending. It features suicide, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, depression and PTSD, as well as Hunnihawk, Pierceintyre, Hawk & Klinger bonding and idiot!Frank. [ Spoilers ahead ] Hunnihawk is sort of one-sided in this one, though wonderfully written, and Pierceintyre is the actual ship.

And these are my recommendations, feel free to add more! Hope you liked them as much as I do.

Hi! I've recently rediscovered my love for M*A*S*H and I would like to read fanfictions now that I've become an even bigger fan of the series than before. I'm just wondering if you have any recommendations for good fanfics? I'm mostly on AO3 so it would be nice to read any from there but other sites are fine too. Thank you in advance ♥

hi! i haven’t been paying attention to fandom for a while, so I’m throwing this out to the community to answer!

[angryhausfrau-writes]

You Can’t Cross the Same River Twice - Chapter 13

"Hey, Trapper, you want to add anything to this Christmas card to BJ?" Hawkeye asks.

They've written joint Christmas cards to Radar and Klinger and Father Mulcahy and some of the nurses - Trapper's currently sitting across from Hawkeye at the dining room table, finishing his part of their letter to Ginger. They've sent a joint present to Hawkeye's dad and bought joint gifts for the girls. They're a unit - HawkeyeandTrapper.

But it had been HawkeyeandBJ for a while - if not quite in the same way.

"I don't know that he'd even want to hear from me. I don't mean anything to him other than being your roommate." And Trapper is also someone BJ had gotten jealous over a couple times. "Better just be from you, Hawk."

"All right." Hawkeye sounds tired.

Trapper reaches across the table and takes his hand. "You wanna talk about it?"

"I don't know if I even know what's bothering me." Hawkeye sighs. "This isn't my first go at this kind of relationship - although it's probably the most.. settled version. I know that I can't go yelling about how much I love you from the rooftops, can't even write about it in a goddamn Christmas card to my friends. I'm grateful for how many people know the truth, I really am, I'm glad we don't have to hide our relationship from Margaret or my dad or Sidney. But sending out all these letters really shows just how many people - people I love and care about - I have to hide it from. Because even if they didn't turn us in, they wouldn't understand."

"You ever think. You ever wish you found a girl to settle down with? Someone you could tell everyone about." Trapper takes a breath. "I wouldn't. I wouldn't blame you if you wished for that. If you wanted to go looking for it."

"Nah." Hawkeye seems to be trying for casual, but he ain't quite hitting the mark. "I think about all the girls I've been with - and I've had a lot of fun with some of them, don't get me wrong. But in the back of my mind, it was always. There was always this part of me saying I had to do it. It kept me safe, more than anything - more than being about the sex or romance, it was about being safe. And that colored things, took a lot of the romance - the potential for a future - right out of the relationship. I spent a lot of time chasing women who had absolutely no interest in me because it was an easy way to keep up appearances without having to actually do anything."

Hawkeye pauses.

"I don't want to go back to that, Trap. It was.. empty. Not like the connection, the understanding we have with each other. And maybe someday I will meet another Kyung Soon - another women I could have something lasting with - but it seems stupid to give up what I've got now - something good, something permanent, something meaningful - just on the off chance. I just wish..." Hawkeye trails off.

"Wish the world was a whole hell of a lot less shitty?" Trapper asks, sardonic.

Hawkeye laughs. "Yeah, that. I guess I got so used to the.. freedom of the 4077 - we were all just a bunch of weirdos stuck together in an impossible situation, desperately trying to stay sane, you know? - that I forgot what the real world was like a little bit. People didn't bat an eye at the jokes I made or the closeness I shared with you and BJ - it was just how I was, one weirdo out of a whole camp of weirdos. I forgot that other people - people in the real world - cared about that kind of thing so much. Especially after Frank left and I wasn't getting called a degenerate every day."

"And now you're back here in the real world and it's not what you remembered, not what you dreamed of to get you through Korea," Trapper says.

Hawkeye nods, defeated.

And Trapper knows how that feels. Trapper had felt the same thing when it had hit him that he was home. This was it. There was nothing else waiting for him. No magical, perfect world - dreamed of through rose tinted memory all through the Korean nights - nothing special hidden away behind the brutal reality of America and Boston and home.

"I guess I'm feeling kind of betrayed," Hawkeye says. "All that fighting for "democracy." All that blood and death. And I come back here - back home - and I ask myself if it was worth it. If this is really what we're trying to protect - to spread to other people. Conformity and bigotry and hate. And I feel like a fool for ever thinking - ever hoping - there was a reason for what we did. Something good behind the blood and shit and death." Hawkeye takes a breath. "There's a lot of good in my life, don't get me wrong. There are a lot of things that make me happy - you, the kids, the clinic, this strange little family we've cobbled together from the dregs of two different wars. But it's. A lot of the best parts of my life have to stay hidden. It's a secret happiness. And the fact that I can't tell BJ - the guy who was my best friend through some of the worst times in my life - about you, about how important you are to me. That really drives it all home."

Trapper squeezes Hawkeye's hand tight. There's not really anything to say to that - no words are adequate.

"At least we'll get to see Margaret and Sidney at New Years. People who know - who we can be open around." Hawkeye sighs and then straightens from his defeated slump. "I'm not - I'm not about to go stick my head in an oven or try and storm the White House or anything. I'm ok, Trap. Everything kind of just hit me all at once, but I'm ok."

"Wanna go out tonight? Be around other people - other guys like us?" Trapper asks. It might help Hawkeye feel less alone - less lost. It had sure helped Trapper when he first got back.

"Yeah," Hawkeye says, "that sounds nice." And he leaves the letter to BJ there on the table.

The bar is an oasis of warmth and light after the snowy streets of Boston. Full of laughter and chatter and dancing. Proof that Hawkeye isn't alone.

He dances with a dozen different men. Feels the warm solidity of their bodies, the strength of their arms. Knows with a certainty that this is real. He is real.

Trapper watches it all from the bar, face open and warm. And at the end of the night, he takes Hawkeye into his arms for a final spin around the dancefloor. Takes Hawkeye home and tucks him into bed under the warm covers in the cozy home they've made for themselves here.

And the next morning, Hawkeye sees that Trapper has written a short note at the end of Hawkeye's letter to BJ. And he smiles as he seals the envelope.

--

Trapper comes home from work to find a mysterious package sitting on the dining room table. Hawkeye's starring at it as intently as if it were a bomb. But unless Frank somehow got their address, it's probably not immediately dangerous - so Trapper takes the time to hang up his coat and hat and leaves his shoes to dry on the mat before approaching.

"Whatcha got there, Hawk? You're staring at that box like you can will yourself into x-ray vision."

"It's from Charles. And there's no note so I wanted to wait until you showed up just in case it's a lethal prank." Hawkeye brandishes a pair of scissors and cuts the package open. "The moment of truth!" he exclaims as he throws back the wrappings.

It's a fruitcake.

"Well, you weren't kidding about it being potentially lethal," Trapper says. "I'm pretty sure you could light it on fire from three feet away, it's got so much booze in it."

"What the hell are we supposed to do with it?" Hawkeye asks. "Use it for a doorstop? One slice and I'd be drunk for a week."

"Don't look at me," Trapper says. "I prefer to drink my booze and eat my dessert separate. Maybe you could bring it into the clinic, see if the other staff want any."

"Yeah, unless he also gave Letta the same gift. I can't compete with her powers of persuasion - I'd end up taking them both home. Ah. There's a little card stuck in it. Says Merry Christmas blah blah token of my friendship to all those in our card club blah Winchester family tradition blah blah Charles."

"Boy, if that's a Winchester family tradition they must all be absolutely plastered for the entire month of December," Trapper says.

"Must be what gets them through all those high-society holiday festivities." Then Hawkeye sighs. "Well, if bringing it to the clinic and pawning it off on Dr. Wilson is out, what do we do?"

"Uh," Trapper says, thinking. "We could put it on the stoop next door, kind of a mystery Christmas present for the neighbors."

"Good thinking - make it someone else's problem." Hawkeye re-wraps the cake and writes Merry Christmas in big letters on the box. "Think it'll be ok outside overnight?"

"Well, it ain't snowing and the cake's practically pickled - it'll probably be fine," Trapper says. And then after a peek through the front curtains, "Quick, let's put it outside now when no one's around to see us."

When Hawkeye leaves for work the next morning, the cake is gone. But when Trapper comes home off a late shift, he reports that the cake has been re-wrapped and placed on another doorstep a few houses down. Apparently the O'Gradys hadn't thought much of it either.

They make a sort of game of it, betting pocket change on who will get it next and admiring their neighbors' taste in holiday wrapping paper. Until finally, a week after it had arrived, the cake disappears permanently.

"Think it actually got eaten?" Trapper asks.

"Maybe they did the sensible thing and chucked it unopened," Hawkeye says. "I'm just glad that scourge of the neighborhood is finally gone."

But they can genuinely tell Charles they got a lot of enjoyment out of his gift when he asks about it at poker night.

--

Hawkeye's an agnostic and Trapper's been excommunicated but it's still nice to have Christmas with his family. Ok, it's not exactly Christmas - he and Hawkeye both have to work on the actual holiday - but he gets the kids the weekend after and they've got a tree and presents and Hawkeye's dad shipped a whole box of Pierce family decorations down.

They eat dinner together and then sit around the glowing tree and drink hot chocolate. It feels like home. Like family. Trapper maybe tears up a little. He'd missed that feeling last year, what with things between him and Louise so strained.

The girls are just thrilled to get to go through the festivities twice.

Hawkeye is absolutely giddy with excitement. There's something about watching people you love open the gifts you got just for them. Seeing Becky's blinding smile at the stack of Nancy Drew books gets a matching grin from him. And Cathy goes wild for the ice skates they'd gotten for her - especially when she manages to extract a promise to go to the ice rink on her next visit.

Hawkeye is even more overwhelmed when Cathy gives him the scarf he'd gotten her started knitting all those months ago. It's a little lumpy and misshapen but it's warm and soft and obviously made with love. And it's a nice cheerful pink, just the thing to chase away the winter blues. Hawkeye gives her a big hug and vows to wear it every day.

Later, after the kids are in bed, he and Trapper exchange gifts. And when Trapper opens Hawkeye's gift for him - the sweater, started almost the moment he got home - he's on the edge of his seat. Hawkeye's made a lot of people knitwear as gifts, but this is a bigger project than most. And for someone who's opinion means an awful lot.

"Hawkeye." Trapper sounds awed. "I love it, thank you." He cradles the sweater to his chest like it's something precious.

"Well, try it on," Hawkeye urges. "I want to see how I did on the sizing."

Trapper complies. And it looks good. Trapper's got a cute body regardless but the fit is flattering and Hawkeye was right about the color bringing out the green in Trapper's eyes. Hawkeye lets out a low whistle in appreciation.

"It meet your standards?" Trapper asks as he does a slow turn to show off all the angles. "It sure is comfy. I don't know that I'll wanna take it off till August."

"I've outdone myself with this one, Trap, it has to be said." Hawkeye lets himself sound a little smug. And then more seriously he says, "I'm glad you like it."

And then Hawkeye makes impatient grabby hands. "C'mon Trap, enough with the catwalk. What did you get me?"

Trapper hands over the package. And he's been nervous about this. He's not as well read - not as cultured - as Hawkeye is. But he'd liked the author from English class and knows Hawkeye's referenced at least one of his poems. And the book has a lot about war and living in the aftermath. It felt appropriate. Though Trapper's still not sure if Hawkeye will appreciate the book or understand what Trapper's trying to say with it.

But Hawkeye looks happy with the gift - and then he opens the book to the marked page and reads:

Let it go on; let the love of this hour be poured out till all the answers are made, the last dollar spent and the last blood gone.

 Time runs with an axe and a hammer, time slides down the hallways with a pass-key and a master-key, and time gets by, time wins.

 Let the love of this hour go on; let all the oaths and children and people of this love be clean as a washed stone under a waterfall in the sun.

 Time is a young man with ballplayer legs, time runs a winning race against life and the clocks, time tickles with rust and spots.

Let love go on; the heartbeats are measured out with a measuring glass, so many apiece to gamble with, to use and spend and reckon; let love go on.

Hawkeye's a little misty-eyed when he looks back up.

"Thank you, Trapper." And then Hawkeye's hugging him, the book squeezed awkwardly between them.

It looks like he does understand after all.

[s0ftpining]

portrait of two surgeons (based on j.c. leyendecker’s portrait of two men) / print

[s0ftpining]

tfw you can’t stop thinking about kissing your best friend

[s0ftpining]

margaret, radar and a post o.r. nap (pose insp)

[s0ftpining]

something something colour symbolism

[s0ftpining]

sappy, sleepy, snuggly, other s words!!!

[s0ftpining]

did you know they love each other

[s0ftpining]

so m*a*s*h huh

[onekisstotakewithme]

I was tagged by my actual big sister @a-mi-zivi (I love you *blows kiss*) so thank you, and I shall answer these to the best of my limited ability

a // age: only (almost) 19 but my mind is older

b // birthplace: Hamilton, ON

c // current time: 12:39 p.m.

d // drink you last had: Ginger ale

e // easiest person to talk to: Any number of people, but special shout outs to mmm the whole MASH Discord for being supportive (I love y’all), but also big sis @a-mi-zivi because well, ILY, and @minikate--24-05 my twin ♥♥

f // favourite songs: uhhh I don’t... I can’t decide. Can I just say I love listening to musicals and be done with it? Thanks.

g // grossest memory: I can’t think of anything that isn’t scarring.

h // horror yes or horror no: Considering that we went on a ghost tour of Fort Henry a few weeks ago and I couldn’t sleep for two days after that because I was scared senseless?? HORROR NO

i // in love? No.

j // jealous of people: Sometimes; I struggle a lot with feeling inadequate, and on one hand I love content creators who are absolutely marvelous at their craft, but sometimes I can’t help but go... Uh I wish that was me. But I’m trying to work on it. Honest.

l // love at first sight or should i walk by again? I can believe in instant attraction, but I feel like... actual love needs more than that. Love at first interaction, maybe. But just based on the first sight alone? No. 

n // number of siblings: 1 blood sibling, and my big sis Sara ♥

o // one wish: That everything works out the way it’s supposed to.

p // person you called last: My former fruit stand boss, who I am doing work for this weekend. 

q // questions you’re always asked: nobody ever really... asks me.

s // song you last sang: I don’t know what song it is, but it’s the song Hawk was singing to BJ in “The Best of Enemies”... let’s see if I can find it; okay Google’s telling me it’s Dream (When You’re Feeling Blue) written in 1944.

t // time you woke up: 9:00 a.m-ish?

u // underwear colour: Grey

v // vacation destination: Can someone ship me to the UK? I am trying to be employed this summer, so no travelling for me.

w // worst habit: Procrastination.

x // x-rays: all the usual teeth x-rays, and one of my wrist from that time I almost broke it playing basketball.

y // your favourite food: probably... pizza?

z // zodiac sign: Gemini (my birthday- June 5- is in SIX DAYS)

I’mma tag @minikate--24-05 and @almostinlove but only if y’all want to.