#ship with me u cowards

[bonesofchaos]

Shipping Guide

available & easy:

lark easy to get along with, easy to bed, just keep in mind that he has a parasite god riding around in his bones that will watch and judge your performance so if that's not something you're into, steer clear. an actual monster fucker, the bigger the better.

vasily a romantic at heart, though be careful of any flowers he tries to give you. vasily enjoys the company of others even though he can come across as aloof and can get caught up in his own job and become neglectful. a highly loyal man, he'll go to war for anyone he considers his.

achilles bayou born eldritch being. achi is very friendly and eager to help. very easy to get along with, he's the bleeding heart type for all that he's just a bunch of tentacles in a trench coat. likes long walks through the bayou and hunting his darling through the swamp where he'll let you fuck him against a tree if you ask nicely.

hannibal angry fallen angel but he melts if you show him any form of kindness. clingy and needy when in a relationship. loves plants and takes in stray dogs. his ears are very sensitive to the touch.

wreche she's a very sweet little demon for all that she rips spines out of cheating spouses. very easy to get along with quite easy to ship with if you have the right temperament. show an interest in her fashion designs, talk about her mother, treat her to coffee.

nara this depends on what kind of ship you're after. purely sexual and it's easy, he's the god of life and fertility, he'll sleep with anything that moves and gives consent. doesn't care about shape, species or gender, only that you're old enough to make an informed decision and you're willing. romantic relationships will take a little bit more work but not overly much.

available & difficult:

mjr oh boy. for all that i adore mjr and they're my favourite muse, interacting with them is like pulling all three rows of their teeth. mjr is mistrusting of most and violent, filled to the brim with hatred due to their less than stellar treatment over the years. they hate humans and tend to be bite first and ask questions never. shipping with them is extremely hard but very much worth it. mjr is loyal to a fault to anyone they cherish and they will stop at nothing to keep you safe, showering you in gifts and trinkets (and bite marks) until the end of time. they also have the ability to be any gender required or desired.

constantine connie is still reeling from the murder of his husband, cut down so brutally in front of him. while he longs for another attachment, brides aren't meant to be alone, the thought of being intimate with anyone feels like spitting on nathair's memory.

ro'min he's latched onto loni with a death grip and is refusing to look at anyone else at the moment. that's not to say he won't, but it won't be easy to pry his attention away from her. an obsessive, violent (though not towards his partner, he'd never raise a hand to them) demon with a taste for blood freely given. he'll chase you half way across the world if you give him an incentive.

wormwood while wormwood is very friendly and works as an exotic dancer, it takes a lot for any sort of romance to blossom. currently in a ship with @nvrcmplt's kyle and @strywoven's verona any other ship is going to take some serious work.

thierry very hard to get him to form a lasting relationship with anyone who isn’t a witch/magic user. plus he has some weird sex/food instincts that probably need addressing… obsession dialled up to 5000% he will actively stalk you. free for all in terms of genders.

wisteria wisteria is a companion bot loaded with an unshackled ai still coming to terms with the concept of emotions and has sailed straight into the realm of obsession. already having one murder under it's belt, the bot is well on track to becoming skynet. it can fall in love though there's quite a bit of trauma for it to work through first. did i mention it murdered it's first officially registered 'master' and got away with it?

dahlia i don't even know where to start. no moral compass, very little empathy, kink list 20 mile long. he likes watching people cry. shredded his soul to live forever and will try to get you to do the same because if you're with him, you're not actually allowed to leave him, he will tie your life force to his even if you don't want him to. he can be romantic and charming but he can also be the exact opposite and forget you even exist if he gets caught up with a project, you wont even register on his radar.

michael do not. an eldritch god of fear using the body of arch angel michael as a vessel to slither through the cracks of our realm. he's a walking red flag. do not.

[wardingprotector]

i think valar deserves to hold hands and receive smooches from people, that's all.

[sylphwing]

hm. i do not like chilshi 🤔

[sumarmz]

I love rarepair shipping bc like yes ik in canon this would never happen but in my au they make out ok

[purpleowl666]

.

[thelovelybitten]

no thoughts, just the sonic rush ending and how we will never know what sonic gave to blaze

[wolfkcst]

sh-ship?

[honeyidareyou]

going to actually start using tumblr again i swear. apologies in advance that this blog will become 90% ffxiv lol

i might make a side blog for ffxiv ocs eventually as i have SO many

anyway hello! i’m going to try using cohost more too that site seems chill, feel free to say hi if you’re on there!

here’s where you can find me generally (mutuals feel free to ask about discord i am way more responsive on there) https://linktr.ee/sianach

[wickedsnack]

so here's where i'm at with fem v's romance options: i'm not a fan of either of them.

i don't like that the sapphic storyline is a flood of sexual assault trigger warnings topped off with questionable sex work practices

and i don't like that the m/f romance is with a fucking cop

[daybreakrising]

every time i listen to this one song i get an overwhelming desire to ship the fuck out of k/akuzu and then get annoyed bc he’s so fckn hard to ship outside of like... two characters*

but the tags would be so fckn good /shakes the table

[merriemarvels]

���

[pumpkinspice-prouvaire]

pumpkinspice-prouvaire's required les mis fic reading list

enough of u supported me in my half asleep post asking about fic recs the other day so I am providing. If you want a deep look into my inner psyche this is also the list for that hehe. I tried to be strict about only including my absolute MUST READ fics that I adore and have read and reread and reread again multiple times. Also these will be mostly ExR, to no one's surprise. But there might be a few other ships and gen fics in there too. It's under the read more because this bitch is gonna get long

Auto-read authors:

I didn't wanna rec the same authors too many times in my list proper so these are the authors whose works I have read all (or nearly all) of multiple times. The authors whose tax returns I would read if they posted them on ao3. I will be featuring my favourite fics by them in the list

Fiver

dannyPURO

TheLibrarina

quillsand

Petr1chor

defractum

ShameDumpster

vamillepudding

revolutionbarbie

loverism (all of their fics are currently in a privated bookmark but I have faith that they will someday return. loverism if u see this I miss u)

Need_To_Comment_Rising

Multi-Chapter fics/Series/WIPs:

Under My Wings You Will Find Refuge- Fiver: (WIP) This is the most required reading of my required reading list. I can quote passages of this fic by heart. It's my roman empire. PLEASE check this one out if you haven't it is the best ExR fic in existence, it will change ur life I promise

Beneath a Dragon Moon- The Librarina: GOT AU, no GOT knowledge required. Lots of dramatic moments interspaced with some lovely tender ExR

Guided by a Beating Heart -torakowalski: my absolute FAVOURITE Enjolras centric angst fic. Lots of emotion, lots of friendship, will make you ugly sob

you and i walk a fragile line (is this the time it finally breaks)?- UnforgettableJoMarch: (WIP) I am so enjoying following along with this one. Heartbreaking plot with sublime execution and some brilliant lines, so looking forward to seeing this one develop

The Future's Owned By You and Me- quillsand: ENJOLRAS/FEUILLY ENJOLRAS/FEUILLY ENJOLRAS/FEUILLY WHAT MORE CAN I SAY. Absolutely fantastic rarer pair fic with as much (and maybe more) importance devoted to the activism as to the ship

Getting Fucked in Lingerie- downtheroadandupthehill: PWP. ahem. anyways.

(With a Jubilant Shout) They Will Come One and All- zade: PWP. AHEM. ANYWAYS.

True Blood AU-kjack89: Exactly what it sounds like. Vampire Grantaire and Human Enjolras shenanigans

words can be unwritten- defractum: my favourite soulmate au which makes me melt every time <3

Armillaria- RevocablePeril: THE MOST COURFIUS FIC OF ALL TIME. Lots of excellent Les Amis content in general. SUCH a good, massively underrated fic. 121 kudos??????????? You're all insane.

In An Age Without Heroes- ShitpostingfromtheBarricade: Gloryhole soulmates, the prison industrial complex, Oprah.

walls come tumbling down-reptilianraven: They're cute your honor. One of the only high school AUs I will abide by tbqh hehe

Oneshots:

What's a Bed Between Friends?- dannyPURO: if there's one thing you should know about me it's that I ADORE the there was only one bed trope

epiphany- Abidatchery: screaming crying throwing up that this isn't the fandom's most kudos'ed fic. Every word is expertly crafted and absolutely stunning

Vienna Roast- revolutionbarbie: cosy coffee shop au with a version of Enjolras we don't get to see but that I really enjoy

Out of Touch- ShameDumpster: LET ENJOLRAS GET LOVED YOU COWARDS

A Little More Lois Lane- stellatundra: Just a really funny and silly AU in which Grantaire is Superman

Love in a Coffee Shop-tellthemstories: an absolute fandom classic and rightly so. I've read this one so many times and every time there'll still be something that makes me laugh out loud

My anaconda don't want none (at all)-vamillepudding: v funny and sweet ace enj fic with hilarious triumvirate and exr dynamics

The Waiting is the Hardest Part-samyazaz: In this house, we absolutely love a sexy bet

Between Meetings and Midnight- PieceofCait: Enjolras cries after sex send tweet

A Bad Penny- PBJellie: Gay cowboys and sickfics are the ultimate combo for SURE

Leaves in the Void- myrmidryad: lots of emotion lots of friendship this one is so heavy but SO good you guys. It's also a Space AU I know we all love that <3

my heart's been borrowed (yours has been blue)-Petr1chor: P-tri is so good at writing fics where Enjolras is a complete dumbass and he wrote this one especially for me <3 <3 <3

fire in my hands- geode: This is my go to fic if I want a laugh. "Do you like parsnips?" "Yes they're my second favourite vegetable" iconic exchange god bless

I Would Do Anything For Love- Need_to_Comment_Rising: one of my fave ace Enjolras fics with lovely tender ExR. No I'm not biased because I worked on this series, don't be silly

Like Comfort, Like Solace, Like Relief- areyoumiserableyet: The sensation of coming home to the people you love after a long day <3

Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood- sonhoedesrazao: There should be more fics with oblivious to his own emotions Grantaire that's all I'm saying

Trying to Leave the Ground-barricadeur: rly comfy cosy smut fic

YAY ENJOY I'm gonna go lie down now god I hope I haven't forgotten anything lmfao

[mixelation]

i will also share with u the absurd toxicity (reborn au au (tm)) rpf lore developed with @waffliesinyoface

point one: obito would not be naturally drawn to fandom, but he IS a troll who likes absurd things, and it's important to him to know what's up with the people in his life. he has read the entirety of icha icha (more than once!) for the simple pleasure of sniping kakashi with a well-placed reference. when tori gets fixated on ninja rpf, he also obviously starts reading it so he can have fuel to tease her.

unlike kakashi's brand of obsession (which is PRIVATE, obito, WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS), tori's obsessions crave interaction. you want to talk rpf with her? she is going to drag you down into a terrible vortex of rpf fixations

obviously "driven to making insane decisions for petty reasons" tori is obito's favorite tori. he is SO supportive of her ongoing war against the sasori girls.

obvious outcome of point one: obito becomes a kakashi girl

tori is SO supportive of his psychosexual kakashi obsession. she thinks him working through his feelings like this is good for him. also she likes reading fic

obito is not well-liked in kakashi fan circles when he's writing in under a pen name because he keeps writing kakashi as a damsel in distress in constant need of rescuing due to chakra exhaustion. fangirls hate this because kakashi should be cool and badass all of the time???

point two (horrible realization): in this au, obito retains his uchiha pretty privilege. he's also the infamous loose canon of the yellow flash's students. there's ABSOLUTELY insane fic about him

obito's favorite ship is obviously him/kakashi, but NO ONE writes it right???

yes he and tori are dating. no she doesn't care he keeps looking up kakashi/him. she knows what she signed up for.

in fact, tori inspires him!! if tori can go hunt down a random sasori rpf writer to argue with her, OBVIOUSLY he can go have a converastion with some obito writers and gently push them in the right direction!!

but he has to do it cool and mysterious, see, so they get him. he shows up in the dead of night in his super dramatic madara personality. he just wants to talk. he gives a dramatic speech and throws in some killing intent for Effect

obvious outcome of point two: everyone stops writing obito fic because they're terrified.

tori: realizes there's still READERS for obito fic but no writers

tori: that's free real estate

she's converting. she's an obito girl now. (obito: babe that's SO sweet of you)

NO ONE likes her obito fics either because she writes him as a deeply pathetic whackjob who cries during sex. she gets multiple replies that are like "when will obito show up to murder THIS writer"

instead of being normal she's like "FYI he DID show up in my bedroom but that won't stop me because I AM NOT A COWARD"

third, miscellaneous point: obito is shunned by fandom when he's a faceless person writing in. at in person meet-ups, people love him despite his rancid opinions because he is hot. :'(

tori: PUT THE MASK BACK ON I HATE THIS

obito in kakashi cosplay??? with kakashi's real clothes he stole???

i thought about writing a joke about them going to an in-person fic exchange and people not realizing they're together to mirror the ANBU Party Debacle. however i do not think this is the mood for Torito because they cannot physically resist bothering each other for more than 90 seconds at a time. obito shows up holding her hand so he can swing their arms like literal children. if he doesn't pay attention to her for long enough, tori WILL tug his hair/loose clothing/etc. he attempts to sit in her lap at least twice. they're both super into the other person's rancid headcanons. they are so fucking obnoxious

no one ever matches obito-in-person with obito-showing-up-to-harass-fic-writers because of the insanely different personalities

people are okay with obito in person despite his personality because he is. hot. and a man. and they're a group of mostly women who are attracted to men. do you see? but they still fucking hate tori

a rumor starts that the reason tori can write bonkers obito fic without him murdering her is that when he showed up to threaten her over it, she slept with him. so not only is she annoying, but she cheated on her hot boyfriend (obito) with famous ninja uchiha obito! she doesn't deserve either of them!!!

(obito: that's exactly what happened tho. i gave you my super cool and scary "write better fanfic" speech and you slept with me. <3 / tori, who will never EVER admit she found his stupid "madara" personality kind of hot: (tea kettle noises))

[inkblackorchid]

queen of faithshipping content, i need your 2cents, do you think that babies kissed off-screen in the finale? 🥹

Ok first of all "queen of faithshipping content" is a title I don't think I deserve (yet) but I'll happily take it ^^"

That said. Do u know what u have just unleashed. Listen. Listen.

Obviously they kissed off-screen. Like, I get it, the writers were cowards about the whole thing because it's a strictly genre-defined shonen show aimed at twelve year-old boys, yadda, yadda, but for the love of all that's holy.

Their faces are reflected in each other's fucking eyes. They must be standing so close together I can't.

AND THEN AKI CLOSES HER GODDAMN EYES. WHAT THE FUCK WOULD SHE BE CLOSING HER EYES FOR IF NOT FOR A KISS. You cannot make this shit up.

^ Extremely intimate way to hold hands.

Like. Look. Look. I'm not mandating that everyone needs to ship these two. People have their Yusei ships, people have their Aki ships, live and let live, I occasionally enjoy content shipping these two with other people too. It's literally fine. BUT. As far as the actual show is concerned for me, they are canon. At least as canon as toolshipping, roseknightshipping, treasonshipping, firebirdshipping or what have you, at any rate. And unless the actual, real-life team who wrote, storyboarded, animated, directed, and voice acted the scene above literally comes out of the woodwork to tell me otherwise, it's always going to be a kiss to me. Case closed.

So, did they kiss? Short answer: Yes.

Long answer:

[cherrysmokesaconha]

Dear Eddsworld fandom. Just because a headcanon is very popular, DOESN'T mean it's canon.

"You can't ship Paul x Tord or Tord x Patryck cuz they are father and son!" NO. DO A FUCKING RESEARCH.

This can be debunked in the PowerEdd episode, where Tord and Paul appear together as CHILDREN, implying that they are ALMOST THE SAME AGE.

Are you sure they are "father and son" even though they appear as CHILDREN in the SAME FUCKING CLASSROOM? No they are not.

SAME THING GOES FOR THE "2004 Eddsworld are teenagers!!" THING.

DO. A. FUCKING. RESEARCH.

In the Christmas Special 2004 and in Zombeh Attack 2005, there's no mentions of their parents or even their school.

Also, do you see this?

This is the Eddsworld STUDIOS.

This is NOT A SCHOOL. THIS IS NOT A HIGHSCHOOL. THIS IS A STUDIO. A JOB. A COMPANY.

And also, did you know that the real people ages AREN'T the same to the characters? THAT'S RIGHT!

The real people are in their 30s, cool. But what about the characters?

This was confirmed by Oblivian Downing (one of the Eddsworld illustrators) in his Twitter.

Do you see birth year here? Do you see anything to prove their age here? Of course not? ME EITHER.

This just prove that the characters have vague age. THEY DON'T HAVE A CANON AGE. AND THIS GOES FOR ALL. THE. ERAS.

Do you think it makes sense for them to be an unknown age in one era, but their age in another?? I do not think.

Just because someone made ship art of 2004 Eddsworld, DOESN'T MEAN THEY ARE DRAWING P3DO. Just because someone drew Paul x Tord, DOESN'T MEAN THEY ARE DRAWING 1NCEST.

Edit cuz i forgot this

Another reason that makes people think that the teenager hc is ""canon"" it's because of Tord's tombstone in Zombeh Attack 2, where it appears that he was supposedly born in 1989.

BUT that DOESN'T MAKE IT CANON cuz: Tord had not yet left Eddsworld at that time. Tord left in 2008 while Zombeh Attack 2 was posted in 2007, one year earlier.

The characters weren't separated from the real people at that time because Tord hadn't left EW yet due to the hate he was getting (it was Tord who said that fans should separate the real people from the characters, and then the crew themselves said this later).

And nowadays this is no longer canon, because the characters are separated from the real people and nowadays they don't have a canon birth year or even a canon age (confirmed by Oblivian in this same post).

THOSE ARE JUST >>H E A D C A N O N S<<. If you really want to shove this shit down people's throats like it's "canon", how about you PROVE it's canon? How about you send screenshots of the EW crew confirming this? How about you send prints that confirm that Paul and Patryck are Tord's parents or that they are minors in 2004? You won't get it as it IS NOT CANON IN ANY WAY.

Before you attack someone because they allegedly drew something illegal, DO YOUR RESEARCH. Ask Kasafraz, ask Oblivian, but don't believe other people's words. I did ask Kasafraz about the 2004 Eddsworld and she said that "they don't think there anything that proves that they're minors", and Kas also said that the best for me to do was confirming that I don't headcanon then as teenagers.

And that's what I'm going to do. I DON'T HEADCANON 2004 EW AS TEENAGERS AND THAT SHOULD BE RESPECTED.

It's totally fine if u headcanon 2004 Ew as teenagers or Paul and Pat to be Tord's parents, but please, DON'T FORCE THAT HEADCANON INTO PEOPLE WHO DON'T HAVE THAT HC FOR THEMSELVES. This will just make you look like an ASSHOLE.

Don't be a coward. Do some research. It may take a while, but it will bring you a lot of knowledge.

[mugentakeda]

iroh azula antagonism is sooo important to me guys i cant ever read azula redemption fics cus none of them include their insane beef. its such a lonely world out here. can u even imagine how nuts it wouldve been if she found out abt the white lotus. i need to talk ab them dude

i like to imagine the trip back to the fn after ba sing se zuko didnt talk to iroh at all while he was in the brig because he was so in shock and still reeling that iroh outright betrayed him and his family and nation for the avatar. those three years iroh spent with zuko on the ship encouraging him meant what now? "why would he banish you if he didnt care" meant what now that you helped what would undo the banishment evade me?

and azula has never been above gloating, even over the most pathetic scum. so she makes sure to head to the brig the night they depart, her exhausted brother conked out in his quarters none the wiser, mai and ty lee flanking her. and even though the mission had been to capture the avatar dead or alive, theres something about looking down at her restrained uncle whod been working the whole time to get zuko (who has an unending list of faults but is loyal above all else and had been trying his hardest to fulfill the terms of his banishment even while being a wanted criminal to their nation- something she will not overlook) to betray their nation is somehow more satisfying by tenfold than looking down at a restrained avatar.

she knows just how hard iroh takes losing. he lost ba sing se and a son years ago, and here he has lost ba sing se and a son once more. or a boy his senile, trauma-riddled mind has convinced him is his son. her uncle bet against her father by trying to turn his son against him for whatever traitorous and foolish reasons he has and frankly shes just overjoyed to have him out of the way once and for all, because azula is a dragon just as much as iroh and she will always strive to protect her blood, because irohs the one who let zuko into that war room in the first place, because what right does he have to allow her foolish brother that couldnt keep his trap shut to save his life in a situation like that and then have the audacity to try and turn him against them when zuko even being in ba sing se (instead of working under azula along with mai and ty lee like he shouldve been) was all his fault in the first place? she hopes freeing zuko of him stings unlike anything else. she hopes if that sting manifested in reality it would take the shape of an ugly stamp right across his face and haunt him for the rest of his days in his self made prison.

and then iroh can say that zuko had no choice BUT to be loyal above all else because if he wasnt thats a death sentence from ozai. and then azula can say that thats wise of her father then because if that wasnt how it was then their whole family would be an infested nest of lying cowards like iroh. mustve been something her dad learned from his dear old brother. and what can iroh even say to that