#shiny den exploit

[goblin-writer]

A Choice of Purpose

Their appearance was unexpected. Classically devils are meant to look seductive, powerful, maybe have red skin and horns that curve above their head. And they are meant to smell like sulphur.

Instead, standing before you, was a man in a grey suit. Not shiny or expensive, but drab and threadbare. His eyes listless and his skin looking as paper under office lights. Altogether you weren’t entirely sure that he was a devil and not just another of the many office workers that spent their days listlessly in front of a glaring screen.

“Finally. My colleagues told me about you. In the market for some change in your life? A step up from your wallowing existence? I have just the thing for you.”

His words danced around your mind even as his voice slipped out of your mind in an instant. It wasn’t that he looked unpleasant but you had trouble looking at him as he spoke. Although you had laboured unsuccessfully for months. That fantasy of a starving artist, not romantic but fevered and tragic. They had inspired you as a child, reading of the exploits of Erich Zahn, or Mr Scott, or that unnamed photographer. Now it all seemed to much. That prideful calling toward standing alone in your unacknowledged glory.

But it was too little. And so, you turned to the fourteen sins and virtues. Taking what little money your work gave you and toured the world. Making your way through holy sites and dens of sin. Hoping that an angel or a devil would cut you a deal to alleviate those dreams that burnt you and for which you had very nearly broken yourself over.

None had come. You stood in rose coloured light, walked through the desert, and climbed mountains. You had stood in shareholder meetings, lain in drug dens, and feasted when all reasonable people had gone to bed. Devil and angel had remained steadfastly absent. You had returned home. The streets now unfamiliar and the people pale comparisons to you. Waking with the sun and sitting on a chair until the day was nearly out.

You had stood before one of those steel and glass buildings that was never lit at night and wondered how they manage. People passed you, not noticing you. Glassy eyes glued to their destination or their phones. Moving with rote mechanism. Some people still smiled and looked about with bright eyes, shining, sparking, but there were so few of them.

You were ready to give it all up when that man, in his grey suit waved to you.

“Which colleagues?”

“The devils, and to a lesser extent the angels.”

“Which are you?”

“Does it matter that much? Both sides find me amenable to work with.”

“So you are neither.”

“Not at all. I am firmly devilish.” You nodded

“I had expected you to look different.”

“Most people do – But we aren’t here to discuss the lack of horns. You wanted a deal.”

“I want to feel less. Not emotions but -,” It is difficult to put into words.

“Not emotions but desires. That calling that haunts you, that burns you, that threatens to consume you.” It is all you can do to nod., “Well I can help with that.”

“But you aren’t one of the sins.” His smile didn’t slip even though it was clear that he didn’t like what you had said.

“I am Acedia incarnate.” Your eyes met his lacking all understanding. He sighed, “Take my deal and you will be able to put that fire in your chest to rest. You’ll be comfortable and kept.”

You wondered how that felt. You had a desire to create, to inspire. Not necessarily inspire more creation, maybe fear, maybe even its superior – caution. Looking at the sky you took a deep breath.

And stopped.

The smell of the city was gone. All around you it smelled like fluorescent light and the burning of laser printers. There was a monotony promised with it.  But was that what you wanted? A life of dull routine, boredom, and watching your dreams wither. The devil, that much was clear now had extended his hand.

After all was said and done you walked away from the building. Already you forgot the devil that had stood there with his outstretched hand. He faded quickly into the crowd of suits and empty eyes around him. Had you taken his hand? You didn’t quite remember.

Months later, now with somewhat steady work and employment with a newspaper you had a strange thought. Acedia. Taking out a small orange pen you jotted the name down and smiled as you got back to work.

---

Thank you @flashfictionfridayofficial​ for a lovely prompt. Very much enjoyed writing it.

[murmursdraconic]

The Knowledge Post

PUBLIC KNOWLEDGE

Shay has performed well in League Tournaments and holds several championship titles across the regions of Kanto, Hoenn, Sinnoh and especially Johto, her home region.

In Johto her accomplishments in media gave her the nickname ‘Silent Slayer’. An internet search can pull her up online by anyone. She doesn’t like the name to be honest.

The Dracomet family name is well known in Johto for it’s Sanctuary work and Pokemon preservation and protection. They provide programs and education seminars across the region and internationally when they can.

Shay will refuse to battle people who aren’t on her level unless she has the appropriate team for it. There isn’t anything she hates more than giving someone an unfair fight.

She doesn’t really like people. Likes Pokemon way more. She has a very sensitive empathy for them.

The Sanctuary was on the news when Team Rocket tried to attack it, but the attempt was unsuccessful.

Her Charizard spends 99% of her time out of her ball, and is much taller than average Charizard.

SEMI-KNOWN KNOWLEDGE

Asharas is her Ace Pokemon that travels with her everywhere.

After an incident in Alola, her Haxorus, Havoc also travels with her everywhere too.

She goes out of her way to capture Pokemon to avoid them being exploited by criminal enterprises, including overly powerful and shiny Pokemon.

She is part of the Dragon’s Den Clan.

Shay has trained... probably too many Pokemon for her age but that’s all she’s done since she was little.

She’s a master bushcrafter and explores with little tools while adventuring. She doesn’t stay in cities often.

She’s technically a Team Skull member because her Galvantula got her caught up in that nonsense.

Shay was homeschooled and has no public school experience whatsoever.

Regularly she looks into exotic black market rumors and tries to rescue Pokemon from becoming victims of it. She has busted a few operations in Johto when she was younger.

PRIVATE KNOWLEDGE

Her father died protecting her home from a Team Rocket raid when she was twelve.

Shay is by definition, a Faller. She’s been to Ultra Space, had a brief stint with Ultra Necrozma before escaping with her life. A stray Giratina helped her out and she ended up capturing it so they could both escape. She leaves it at home and rarely ever uses it.

Lance @drgnbld​ is her unofficial official adopted Dad. She was adopted at some point.

All the scars on her body are from her own Pokemon she’s trained. Oddly enough all of them are well covered with her usual attire.

When Rocket was involved in Silph Co, two of Shay’s Pokemon were killed while getting in a bit too deep for her own good at the time. Their graves are at home.

[collymore]

Haven’t you a holocaust or at least an Auschwitz instead to attend Ben Goldsmith? Pity!

By Stanley Collymore Absolute shame really Ben! As you could've taken with you your very odious Yiddish Goldsmith familial namesake Kate otherwise, openly better known as Middleton! Truthfully, the only real drips and dullards in this insulting but rather idiotic story, apart from privileged, self-entitled and rather utterly useless cunts like yourself are the Windsor family irrefutably basically nonsensically, prancing around in their quite stupid fancy dress literally adorned with shiny badges which they rather readily and so vaingloriously bestow on each other! Thankfully, however more and more people are truly seeing through Charles, and all those around him; and crucially no amount of scum bootlicking, backside brownnosing and too outright manifestly, nauseating sycophancy, noxiously coming quite odiously from the likes of you Ben boy will alter that fact.   Foolishly and wrongly whoever thought or said that the likes of Auschwitz, Dachau and Belsen Bergen for example, ought to have never happened are absolutely wrong in their quite flawed analysis of them and also what significantly they were precisely very effectively and worthily, distinctively engaged in praiseworthily trying to ethically and so brilliantly, actually achieve! Also simply being unquestionably quite honest likewise, in this 21st Century and self-evidently clearly with odious verminous scum like Ben Goldsmith still sadly around, I'll openly say the world generally really needs a huge regeneration crucially of irrefutably Auschwitz type infrastructure very urgently! (C) Stanley V. Collymore 18 April 2023. Author's Remarks: This is an essentially a genuinely honest mea culpa by me on behalf of my own family members who most altruistically and quite courageously, but also rather sadly and dangerously for them all took part in the distinctly very hyperbolically and likewise also, clearly vaingloriously ascribed World War 2, when essentially it was nothing other than a murderous exposition of their own distinctly white barbarous and undeniably self-serving barbarity, arrogantly, quite malignantly and malevolently egregiously actually deliberately precipitated by the British, unsurprisingly in their calculated effort to permanently retain their genocidally acquired empire, and attendantly also their ruthless and ongoing exploitation of it, which obviously delusionally they thought the Third Reich was interested in when the Germans undoubtedly had no such interest at all. Contrary to that assumption the Germans predominant interest being effectively to thoroughly cleanse their stinking Augean Stables, which this intrusive, and unwarranted interference by Britain, it's empire and belatedly the USA actually interrupted the Germans from evidently admirably doing what they were really doing and rather stupidly dispersed that German and, basically additionally, a European problem also, globally and completely unnecessarily! Dies ist ein im Wesentlichen ehrliches mea culpa von mir für meine eigenen Familienmitglieder, die höchst uneigennützig und ziemlich mutig, aber auch ziemlich traurig und gefährlich für sie alle an dem ausgesprochen sehr übertriebenen und ebenso auch eindeutig hochmütig zugeschriebenen Weltkrieg teilgenommen haben 2, als es im Wesentlichen nichts anderes war als eine mörderische Darstellung ihrer eigenen ausgesprochen weißen, barbarischen und unbestreitbar selbstsüchtigen Barbarei, arrogant, ziemlich bösartig und böswillig ungeheuerlich, tatsächlich absichtlich herbeigeführt von den Briten, nicht überraschend in ihrem kalkulierten Bemühen, ihr genozidal erworbenes dauerhaft zu behalten Reich, und damit auch ihre rücksichtslose und fortwährende Ausbeutung, von der sie offensichtlich wahnhaft glaubten, dass das Dritte Reich daran interessiert sei, während die Deutschen zweifellos überhaupt kein Interesse daran hatten. Entgegen dieser Annahme besteht das überwiegende Interesse der Deutschen darin, ihre stinkenden Augias-Ställe gründlich zu reinigen, die durch diese aufdringliche und ungerechtfertigte Einmischung Großbritanniens, seines Imperiums und sp��ter der USA tatsächlich die Deutschen daran gehindert wurden, offensichtlich bewundernswert und ziemlich dumm das zu tun, was sie wirklich taten dieses deutsche und im Grunde auch noch ein europäisches Problem global und völlig unnötig verstreut!

[stratuscloudsurfer]

Stratus’s Comprehensive Shiny Den Exploit Guide

Have you heard about the shiny den exploit in Sword and Shield? If you haven’t, it is basically a method that can be used to obtain a limitless amount of shiny pokemon from dens in the wild area and (to a certain degree) being able to choose which specific pokemon you would like limitless shinies of. Neat, huh?

Maybe you have heard of this method before. Maybe you’ve attempted it yourself using youtube videos as guide. Maybe, like me, you became extremely frustrated at your percieved inability to get it right. If that is you, know that I feel your pain, having spent countless hours trying to obtain a shiny pokemon from a den only for it not to be shiny at the end because of one small step that I missed or mistake I made. In fact, that is exactly what inspired me to create this guide. 

Below the cut, I will explain, in as much detail as humanly possible, how to take advantage of the shiny den exploit. Follow each step exactly, and you will be rewarded with a shiny for your efforts. Are you ready, dear reader? Well, here we go.

1. This method, to me, is one of those things that is all about the set-up. If you don’t set up everything exactly right, something might be off at the end and prevent you from your ultimate goal. So, this is how you should prepare yourself to begin: 

1a. Before you get started, go to settings in your game and make sure that auto-save feature is switched OFF. 

1b. Now, press the home button to get out of your game, go to your Switch’s system settings, scroll down to “system”, and then to “date and time”, and make “synchronize clock via internet” is set to OFF. 

2. Buy a wishing piece, if you don’t have one already. Please note that this method ONLY works if you use a wishing piece. If you just use a den you got naturally in the wild area, none of the following will work.

3. Now, throw the wishing piece into an empty den. (If you are searching for an event Pokémon, make sure that the Pokémon in the den is one of the event Pokémon. It doesn’t have to be the exact Pokémon you want, so long as it’s part of the same event, because you will be able to reset your shiny pokemon, as I will explain later.) If you are looking for a specific shiny Pokémon, be sure to check Serebii’s dem listing to ensure that the Pokémon will spawn in the den. (Serebii’s den listing: https://www.serebii.net/swordshield/maxraidbattles/den106.shtml )The game should save while you are tossing the wishing piece in the den. After this point, DO NOT SAVE.

3. Go into the raid and catch the Pokémon. You MUST catch the Pokémon to proceed to the next step. To make this easier, you may turn on the internet and invite others to help you take down the Pokémon in the den. The Pokémon that you catch in this den is known as the seed Pokémon.

4. Next, we will check the seed Pokemon. To do this, you will need to connect to a seed-checking bot in a trade and offer up your seed Pokemon. I know of two free options: Dudu Bot (http://116.202.105.91/) and Dizzy’s Pokémon server ( https://discord.gg/WDUYBA ).I will describe how to use the seed checking bot on Dizzy’s server because that is the one that I prefer to use.

4a. In your game, connect to the internet.

4b. Go to the discord server (on your phone, computer, whatever). In the server, go down to one of the “seed checking” channels.

4c. In the channel, type $CheckMySeed or !CheckMySeed depending on which channel you are using, 1 or 2. This will put you in Jiggly or Wiggly bot’s line.

4d. Once it is your turn in line, Jiggly or Wiggly bot will send you a discrete link trade code. In your game, click link trade, enter the given code, and start searching. You should connect with the Jiggly bot shortly.

4e. After you connect with the bot, offer your “seed” Pokémon—that is, the one you caught in the den—for trade. You should get a communication error, and the trade will be ended.

4f. Go back to the seed checking channel to see the results of your seed checking. It should look something like this:

The important thing for us to note here is the number listed after Star Shiny at Frame: This number represents the amount of frames you will have to skip to get to your shiny den. In this example, I would have to skip 558 frames to get to my shiny den, where one frame = one day.

5. Now that you have these results, use a date calculator to find your “target date.” Here is a link to the calculator I use: (https://www.timeanddate.com/date/dateadd.html). I will describe how to use it in detail below:

5a. Put in today’s date as your start date.

5b. Put in the number of frames to your shiny den in the “add” section

5c. Calculate new date.

5d. Now, SUBTRACT 4 from the date you calculated. This will be your target date, and places you 3 skips before your shiny den date. The target date is not the date that the shiny pokemon will appear at, but rather will serve as a save point for you, just prior to the date that the shiny pokemon will appear.

6. Now that you have your target date figured out, WITHOUT SAVING, close your game. By this, I mean, press the home button, press X on the game, and close out the software.

7. This brings us to our first important checkpoint. Open your game again, and check that your game meets the following conditions: 

7a. You are standing in front of the den that you dropped the wishing piece into, and a beam of light should be coming out of it. DO NOT TOUCH THE DEN AGAIN. 

7b. You do NOT still have the Pokémon you traded to the bot (that is, the seed pokemon is gone).

If you don’t meet 7a, this likely means that you used a naturally occuring den rather than one triggered by a wishing piece. If you don’t meet 7b (that is to say, you still have the seed pokemon) this likely means that you saved somewhere after catching the pokemon in the den. If either of these are the case, you will have to start this process over from the beginning with another wishing piece. 

If you meet conditions 7a and 7b, you can continue with the next phase of the process. 

8. WITHOUT SAVING, fly to a Pokémon center. This is where you will begin the process of date skipping. (The reason why you want to be in a Pokémon center instead of the wild area is that if you skip so many days in the wild area, where the weather changes, your game is likely to crash.)

9. Now it’s time to preform the date skipping glitch. Below is the method I use.

9a. In your game, click the Y button, and then click + to turn on internet communication

9b. Go to link battle.

9c. Select single battle and start looking for an opponent.

9d. Press home button for several seconds to bring up a mini menu that pulls up on the side of your game. It should look like this:

9e. As soon as you see the black box at the bottom that says that an opponent has been found, switch airplane mode ON.

9f. You should get a communication error, see the blue battle screen appear, then disappear, leaving you standing in the Pokémon center. Now that this is done, we can begin to date-skip.

!!!MAKE SURE THAT NO MENUS ARE OPEN BEFORE PROCEEDING ANY FURTHER. If a menu is open, the date-skipping will not work!!!

10. To skip dates, do the following: 

10a. Click the home button. Go to system settings, and go down to date and time. DOUBLE CHECK THAT INTERNET SYNCHONIZATION IS OFF. 

10b. Select date and time. Move one day forward. Click OK. (For example, if your date is 1/1/2020, change it to 1/2/2020.)This counts as skipping one frame.

10b. You will have to skip forward ONE DAY AT A TIME. BE EXTRA CAREFUL AROUND THE ENDS OF MONTHS/THE END OF YEARS. Repeat step 10a until you reach your target date.

If you would like an indication that you are doing the date skipping correctly, you can go into your game and check for a very brief black flash. This tells you that you have successfully skipped frames.

11. This brings us to our second important checkpoint. Open your game, and make sure that your game meets the following conditions: 

11a. The screen flashes black for a split second. 

11b. Your character is standing in the pokemon center. 

11c. Leave the Pokémon center and find your den again. The beam should still be in it and the bottom should be glowing.

If you meet 11a, b, and c, you may continue to the next step. 

12. In front of your den, WITHOUT COLLECTING THE WATTS FROM IT, save the game. You have now established your save point. 

Optionally, you can check to verify that you have completed your date skipping successfully by completing step 4 a second time. To do this, simply go into your den, catch the pokemon in it, and use Dudu or Jiggly/Wiggly bot to check it again. If you have successfully completed your date skipping, it should tell you that you are 4 frames away from your Star Shiny Frame. After you have completed this, close the software of your game and reload it. You should be standing in front of your den with the beam still in it. 

13. This is where things start to get kind of tricky. The method we use to date-skip the final 3 days will be different than the method we previously used. I will describe it step by step: 

13a. Turn airplane mode OFF. 

13b. Make sure your game is on LOCAL COMMUNICATION (not connected to the internet). 

13c. Click on your den. 

13d. Click “invite others”. 

13e. Wait until your game starts looking for participants. The timer at the top of the screen should be counting down, and the pokeballs should be spinning underneath your name. The screen should look like this: 

13f. Click the home button. 

13g. Go to your Switch’s system settings. 

13h. Go down to date and time. 

13i. Skip one day forward. Click ok. 

13j. Go back into your game. 

13k. Stop looking for participants (select quit), and go back to where you can see your character standing in front of the den. The weather should change, and the bottom of the den should begin glowing again, as to where you can collect watts from it again. If this isn’t the case, click the home button, close your game, reopen it, and complete step 13 again from the beginning.

13l. Complete steps 13c-k TWO MORE TIMES. If you are using Jigglybot, you should notice that the date that you are currently on is 1 day prior to your originally calculated shiny date. That’s fine. 

14. This is it. The moment of truth. The pokemon that is in your den now should be your long-awaited shiny. However, we are going to check to make sure that it is. There are two methods you can use to check your den: 

Option A: If you like the pokemon in your den, and would like to keep this pokemon in the den, you may check it by doing the following: 

-connect to the internet 

-invite others to join your raid. Note: you must have an actual person join the raid for this to work. This will not work with NPCs.

-once you click “start battle”, bring up the side menu that allows you to turn on airplane mode. 

-as soon as you see your characters feet, turn on airplane mode. You will get kicked out of the den, and will end up standing in front of the den again with the beam still in it. First, though, you will be able to see the pokemon, and note whether it is a shiny or not.

-From here you can go back in and “host” the den over and over again, turning on airplane mode as soon as you see your character’s feet. You can round up some friends to catch the pokemon and trade it to you later. 

Option B: if you don’t want to keep the pokemon in the den, you can simply check it yourself by going into the den without inviting others. Once you determine whether it is shiny or not, without finishing the raid, close your game. You will be back to 3 frames before your shiny den. To get it back, simply repeat step 13 again. Note: when you repeat step 13, DO NOT reset your date three days backward. Simply start from the date that you are currently on. For example, if your original shiny date was March 5th, you will skip three days forward to March 8th. 

Of course, you also have the option of simply going into the den and catching the shiny. However, if you catch the pokemon in the den and complete the raid, the beam of light in the den will disappear and you will no longer have a shiny den. 

FAQ: 

What if my pokemon is not shiny? 

If your pokemon is not shiny the first time you check your den, don’t fret! You probably are off just a tiny bit on your date skipping. Here is how to troubleshoot: 

1. Once you determine that your pokemon is not shiny, close out of the game without finishing the raid. When you reopen it, you will be back at your save point. 

2. At your save point, go into the den and catch the pokemon again. Follow step 4 to check your seed again. This should tell you exactly how many frames you are away from your shiny. 

Alternatively, you could try doing step 13 again, but skipping 4 times instead of 3, or 2 times instead of 3. This will likely yield you your shiny pokemon. Note: when resetting, do not reset your date 3 days backward. Simply skip forward from the date you are currently. NEVER reset your date backward.

How do I change the shiny pokemon in the den? 

It’s easy! Simply close out of your game and return to the save point. From here, repeat step 13. You will notice that the first 3 pokemon you encounter are the same, but the 4th (your shiny) is different. You can repeat this process over and over until you find the shiny you want!

This concludes my shiny den exploit guide! I hope to anyone that used it that it worked for you, and that you found the shiny pokemon you sought! If it didn’t work, or you still find yourself hopelessly confused, feel free to DM me or send me an ask. I would be glad to walk you through this process step-by-step and answer any questions you might have!

[gravitycoil]

HEY i stopped playing pokemon sword fer a while and today i started playing it again. If anyone still uses den exploits to get shinies please let me know!! I’d love to grab some

[prismit]

has anyone ever mentioned that the rotom bike is actually bugged? if something interrupts your speed boost, like talking to an npc or an egg hatching, then you keep the poor handling of the speed boost while going normal speed until you dash again.

[saphirered]

A Decent Man (Marriage Arranged pt3.)

Summary:

As the child of an Archmage of the Cerberus Assembly your hand in marriage is offered to the Kryn Dynasty to secure a treaty. Your suitor to be is Essek Thelyss who might know more about you than he lets on…

Gathered on either side of a long table, are the speakers of the Dwendalian Empire and the Kryn Dynasty. Behind those chairs stand gathered all other officials that traveled with to show support for their side, negotiate or bring offers to the table within their jurisdiction if necessary. Both ends of the tables remain empty, two throne-like chairs unoccupied to represent the Bright Queen and King Bertrand Dwendal. You do not have a seat at the table. Your father made sure of that. You do not get to speak on your own behalf in case you compromise the Empire through your lack of experience. Still, he voiced for your attendance as a courtesy. Such a generous offer in the eyes of the court. You know he’d rather not have someone in a place of power he cannot fully trust. He  knows what you are capable of and should you suddenly find it within yourself to show that shiny spine of yours, he might be the one to stand powerless. Archmage Zivan Margolin hates nothing more than being undermined. Not even the Cerberus Assembly knows to what extend his power goes and he intends to keep it that way. He knows better than to underestimate you. 

You remain in the shadows with the other courtiers, lords and ladies, wealthy merchants and others that bribed, bartered or earned their figure head places here to watch the show. Only those seated at the Dwendalian side of the table know it’s your hand to be bartered for. Though the cleverer ones among them might have figured it out with the recent events and parties you’ve attended being introduced not only as the ward of the Archmage but as the blood of the king and of course just as expected, they flocked to attempt to gain favour the beloved relative of the king, long kept out of the picture for their safety. A lie had been planted that with the Dwendalian prince and his wife having trouble conceiving, you might possibly be a contender for that throne. Of course you’d never be even close to inheriting the throne, even if pretty much every other member of the royal family met a horrible end, you’d still have barely a claim. But they don’t need to know that nor does the Dynasty. Rumours spread successfully. 

At the table you recognise several people. The Dwendalian side seats Prime Arbiter Truscan, Crown Marshall Damurag, Emissary Graf, Martinet Da’leth, Master Ikithon, and of course your father Master Margolin. Three archmages is plenty and lucky for you the king agreed. Lord Uludan will be quite sour for weeks to come having been passed on for his rival Emissary Graf you can rest a little easier knowing there’s not yet another narcissist you’ll have to watch.

You do not recognise the representatives from the Dynasty. Some you can identify by reputation and rumours alone but of the several seated you can only confidently identify the Dusk Captain, Skysybil Mirimm and the leader of Den Duendalos. You’ll have to applaud the Dynasty for allowing if not encouraging the presence of them due to their history with the Empire, specifically the royal family. You can see how this may complicate some things. Of course you recognise the Shadowhand who you’d met earlier. Other than that you’ll have to rely on the whispers of those around you and the rumours you’ll be able to assemble throughout this meeting and perhaps several more to follow. 

The meeting goes on, terms laid on the table, written carrying the seal of the respective leaders of their nations. Amendments are made, more terms set. It’s a never ending battle of words and wits, trying to exert and exploit loopholes whenever they’re put up. Both sides are equally matched when it comes down to it. Whenever a weaker member speaks up, there’s always another more calculated one to cover their words and make them fool proof as a precaution. The whole ordeal reminds you of what the higher politics of the Hells are described as; laws and rules depending on the words and interpretations of others with a good dash of manners thrown into the mix of the smuggest players in the game all to cover up the fact that most of them would not think twice to tear each other’s heads off in a matter of seconds. 

It’s known that the Shadowhand thrives in this kind of field. Essek takes great pride in his skill and exploiting every single slip up he could has worked in the Dynasty’s favour however, the fact that there’s three snakes seated opposite of him has him more than on edge. He worries that should they find it favourable to throw him into the deep to further their own means they will in an instant so Essek treads carefully around them. He does not relent or show weakness knowing they’ll exploit that just as hard and will continue to do so in any future encounter. He also knows their intent is not peace. They could not care less about what the results of this meeting will be. If anything, war might work in their favour. A smoke screen for their works, the works he is involved with. Essek is aware of the price and is willing to pay it as the knowledge to be earned from these discoveries is priceless. But if war can be avoided, he would not be deliberately causing it. 

“You talk about treaties and agreements, offering up one thing for another yet you have not even mentioned the real price you’re so eager to offer up before this meeting. Why are they not speaking for their own fate? Is it not your ways to let the one who carries the weight of this deal on their shoulders be involved in what they offer up their life for?” The Dusk Captain argues after a rather bold statement from the Prime Arbiter. 

“I am sure the Prime Arbiter meant no offence. This is simply a misunderstanding. We simply do not wish to overwhelm them. Besides, if I am correct the Dynasty’s suitor has not shown their face either? You can’t deny that not everyone is suitable for these… negotiations.” Lord Graf tries to mediate and you cringe at his words when several of the Dynasty representatives express their offence at the words. From where you stand you notice for just a second the Shadowhand rolls his eyes at the argument that bursts out between both sides. He rises from his seat and waits for a second. When the argument doesn’t calm down the air grows heavy, like you’re being pulled down towards the ground, like you’re heavier than the matter around you for just a second. It appears others felt this too. Dunamancy, you realise. 

“Can we please move on from this futile bickering? We have barely gotten a step further in the past hour. I advise we waste no more time on petty grievances and semantics and get back to the matter at hand lest we want to be here for weeks.” Essek speaks and even some of the Empire’s people seem to calm themselves down at the notion having to spend weeks in this company. They won’t last and might just invoke a war on their own. 

“I propose the Dynasty revealing the identity of the Bright Queen’s chosen suitor for this agreement in return for the Empire’s having a seat at the table.” Skysybil Mirimm suggests and for a second you think another argument is about to break out. She raises her hand, others follow suit. Not many but barely a majority. They wait for the Empire. Looks are shared and you can feel that familiar pressure against your skull again. You don’t fight it. Let them see your thoughts. Some colourful opinions might be all they’ll find unless digging deeper. 

You know exactly who peered into your mind when you catch a glimpse of Master Ikithon’s somewhat amused and barely noticeable smile when he raises his hand. Some within the Empire follow suit. The Martinet and your father do not. With all those at the table getting a vote, they’re currently at a draw. A brief silent conversation appears to be going on between the Martinet, Master Ikithon and your father. All in suspense they wait, until finally the Martinet raises his hand. When he does you feel that anger radiating from your father again. It’s not obvious to anyone else it seems but you know it’s there. 

“Well then, Shadowhand, let us meet your suitor.” The Dusk Captain smirks in victory upholding their end of this particular bargain. Whispers spread across the crowd as Essek rises. He pays little mind to those of no consequence but he can’t help that brief pang of fear within his very core when his eyes fall upon the three Assembly members at this table. All different but all similar in one way; realising the potential benefits of something they did not have before. He knows better to just let that slide. 

“Master Margolin, if you’d grace us with your presence at this table that would be much appreciated.” The Martinet doesn’t even turn when he addresses you and keeps his eyes trained on the Dynasty representatives, watching their every twitch. You have no doubt that when you feel the prodding into your mind leave you, it goes out to the people around, gauging their responses instead, the mage satisfied with his findings. You step forward, taking your place standing at your father’s left side but this time not behind. This time you stand right in between his and the Martinet’s chairs. 

“I would take a seat, Martinet but I’m afraid there’s no seats available.” You speak with a sense of grace and just a hint of an attitude befitting someone of the royal family. You’d be reprimanded for something like this were it any other case but now there’s nothing they can do about it. It is like a taste of freedom, despite the company, the need for manners and the likes, you feel more free than you ever had knowing that right now you’ve been dealt a hand at this table instead of being a bystander while others gamble with your life. It feels good. 

“Graf, since this is on you, you wouldn’t be opposed to offer your seat to the king’s beloved relative would you?” Master Ikithon might just take a little too much pleasure in his words as the emissary’s jaw drops but not wanting to make more of a fool out of himself he obliges getting up, pulling the seat out for you. You mutter a thank you as you take the seat next to the Martinet and right opposite of the Shadowhand. In that brief moment of eye contact you notice his breath hitching for barely a second. You’re sure no one else caught on but you did. 

“Shall we continue?” The Martinet suggests and so they do. You’re pulled into the negotiations, not because you insert yourself into it but because others at the table actually ask for your opinions. You’re well aware to the Dynasty you might be nothing more than fresh meat, untested in these fields and an easy victim for them to get benefits out of should they get you to slip up. You don’t and you won’t. Let them try. You counter them at every opportunity and find a comfortable back and forth you manage to make look effortless. It makes some of those at the table where you’ve come from and why they might never have heard about you. Essek knows exactly where this is coming from and that you’re anything but a novice. You know how to fight these battles and he’d be a fool to underestimate you. 

“It’s quite the price the Empire is willing to pay; offering up one of their own for a month of peace and cooperation. It makes one wonder if their offering is worth their weight or if this is another trick and ploy for them to gain the upper hand.” One of the Dynasty representatives concludes. The hit covered in innocent niceties does not go unnoticed. Not by you, not by the others. 

“It’s but politics, my lord. A future investment and a sign of good faith. It shows just like the Dynasty we are willing to offer up that what is important and valuable to us not just in use but sentimentally as well. Would you claim the offering of your spymaster’s hand is not exactly that?” A few mutters go throughout the room as you mention one of the Shadowhand’s tasks. The man in question’s eyes fall to you, the hint of an amused smirk present almost as if inviting you to continue. 

“If we are reading between the lines should one question your reasonings and intends for allowing the head of Den Duendalos to be present for this meeting, for any other reason than to get a rise out of my people? I mean this with the utmost respect of course.” You say earning a rather harsh glare from the Den leader in question. A power play, Essek realises. You are testing waters, weaving through playing on their emotions, not to get a rise out of them but to gauge responses, and wielding those responses and brief expressions of emotion to let others form opinions, turn those to your favour. 

“You mentioned a future investment, would you care to elaborate, Master Margolin?” Essek asks you, playing into your game, if only to see where it would lead him. He’s curious to see what you’re capable of. 

“With pleasure, Shadowhand. What I offer is empathy and understanding. Is it not to the benefit of the Dynasty to have someone able to read into the actions of the Empire, convey messages otherwise misunderstood? My hand being offered up in this union is not for my king, granted he benefits from it, but I agreed for my people. If it is not too bold to assume, is that not what we are all here for? Should be here for? Our people?” You play upon the heartstrings of the nationalists that’s for damn sure. Essek has to say he’s amused by your words and your ability to completely and utterly bullshit your way through. Of course he senses the core of truth but Essek is well aware now there’s selfish intent to your every action. You’re not here out of the goodness of your heart. The benefits to your people are just as additional as you are to your king. 

“I am well aware my loyalty to my king must come to an end when this marriage is officiated. I know my loyalties to my family must diminish greatly if not entirely end too. That is a sacrifice I am willing to make for this. It would be my honour to offer you my services, my knowledge and my mind for our common goal. How much are you willing to offer?” You feel a sense of pride when at that final question all eyes fall to the Shadowhand, waiting for his response. You wait too, if only you had the same gifts of your father and Master Ikithon where you could just gently ease into the thoughts of another. You have no doubt they are doing just that right now.

“My dedication to the cause has been proven many times over simply by the position I hold. I believe I am justified to say that once again shows through my acceptance of the Bright Queen’s wishes to offer my hand in return. You are willing to offer your services. I am willing to provide you the tools needed to make good on this promise. I do not believe I need to explain to you the value of this offer given your quick mind and impeccable understanding of politics.” You’re satisfied with his answer, and so seems everyone else. 

“Then we are in agreement. Both our integrities have been put to the test and proven here, if these results satisfy the honourable company we find ourselves in I believe we can move on to discuss the remaining queries? Unless you have something to add of course?” You bow your head but do not lower your eyes. 

And with that the negotiations continue. You have to say you take pleasure in the gentle inconspicuous alliance you appear to have fallen into with the Shadowhand. Whenever either of you notice tension on the rise and another futile argument on the horizon you both work effortlessly to calm it down, or steer it to rise when it might be beneficial. It feels almost playful in nature if you didn’t know any better, like minds equally met able to spar instead of fight for your respective lives and reputations against each other. You could get used to this. Preferably in different company that is waiting for either of you to make a mistake.

Your only wish for this whole arranged marriage was your suitor would be a decent person. That much you feel able to say. You’ll be marrying a decent man. Thank all that is sacred Shadowhand Essek Thelyss is a decent man. 

[cryptidvoidwritings]

The following bit of writing in my notes app started off what is now 22 google doc pages of it-could-be-a-real-story-like-I-have-ideas-and-zero-faith-I-can-pull-this-off Tuggerstrap fic bits. Wheeeeee. 🙃

(@falasta and @namethat-i-oughttohavetoldyou, I figure you might be interested? IDK)

“He’s on our corner again.”

Munkustrap cracked an eye open and studied his best friend. There was a glimmer in Alonzo’s green eyes that suggested who was supposedly out on the corner; Alonzo wasn’t prone to taking note of just any cat for being on a corner of their territory. Not that Munkustrap was going to give the patch tom the satisfaction of playing his game- Alonzo was already kind of insufferable when it came to his not a crush on the Maine Coon when they saw him around the neighborhood.

“Who is?” Munkustrap yawned and resettled his head on his crossed paws.

“That cat with the ridiculous mane.”

Munkustrap’s ears flicked up in spite of his best intentions to remain uninterested. Alonzo smirked at him, hopping onto the car boot.

“Yeah, the one you’ve been making eyes at every time he works the theater streets.”

“I have not!”

“I was there, Munkus. You’d think you were just discovering toms.”

“Oh, shut up.”

“‘His coat is so richly colored’,” the patch tom snorted, his voice rising mockingly.

“It is- ugh, why do I tell you anything?”

“Because you were desperate to relate the virtues of your true love?”

The silver tabby stood with great dignity and gave a luxurious, full-bodied stretch. Alonzo watched him with an unabashed grin. Munkustrap ignored him. He slid from the car boot and flicked his tail.

“You’re abusive. I hope you know.”

“Oh, yes, I am the worst and yours is the most tragic of figures.”

“I’m going to go tell him to get out of our territory.”

“You do that,” Alonzo said, his tone entirely disbelieving.

Munkustrap walked to the junkyard entrance and slipped out. The tom was on the corner of the opposite street; he was hard to miss, even if his scent didn’t hover in Munkustrap’s primal memory. It was late enough in the day that there were very few humans about, so he didn’t bother to stay on four legs. The dying light burnished the Maine Coon’s golden mane, causing the russet tiger stripes to look even darker. He lounged against the brick wall of the human den on two legs, paws hooked into one of his studded belts.

Munkustrap approached slowly. “You’re getting bold.”

The Maine Coon cracked an eye open. Munkustrap might have been tempted to think he’d not been aware of his approach had he not made that mistake once before. A lazy grin played on the other cat’s lips.

“Nothing to ‘get’ to.”

“You’d never come this close before this last week.”

“I’m keeping out of your kitten’s way.”

“Not the point. Any closer and anyone who ever knew Macavity will smell him.”

The tom shrugged, seemingly unconcerned. To his eternal annoyance, Munkustrap had never had this cat beat for height. At least they were very close in size and he had the strength of many months of training as the Guardian of the junkyard. The Maine Coon was mostly long, lithe dancer muscles. One on one in a fight, Munkustrap was fairly confident the odds would be in his favor.

He closed the distance between them and held his best neutral imposing facade. “What did you want?”

“Other than your attention?” the Maine Coon asked, smirking.

Munkustrap blinked at him. He hoped he looked unimpressed.

The tom’s smile fell away and he sighed. “You take in stray and wayward cats, I’ve heard.”

“If they come to us in need.”

“How... how notorious do they have to be before you’d refuse to have them back?”

“... You mean Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer. I’ve heard that they’re good thieves.”

A shrug. “They are when you can get them to concentrate and think their actions through. Look, they messed up a job. Pretty major. Macca isn’t happy.”

“Has he—?”

“No.” The Maine Coon hissed. “They're fine. But their heads aren’t in it to be effective. Being good doesn't mean anything if they aren’t taking care of business because they’re distracted by a shiny bit of grit or it’s more fun for them to mess with the supplier. They were never going to be calculating the way he expects, but would he listen to me?”

“You know they left us, to begin with. Why come to me about them now?”

“They need to be out of Macca’s hair.” The tom held out his arms in an expressive shrug that didn’t entirely hide underlying anxiety. “And anyway, I heard there might be some cats here who miss them.”

Munkustrap watched the Maine Coon’s face for a long moment. The other tom, to his credit, looked back. He looked tired.

“Okay.”

“Thank—.”

“On one condition.”

In an instant, the warmth in the tom’s blue and amber eyes turned cold and wary. He drew himself up to his full height and folded his arms across his chest. Defensive. Defiant, at best. It hurt Munkustrap to see; he’d never known a cat to expect to be exploited.

“What?”

“Your name.”

For what seemed an age, the silence stretched between them. Munkustrap was about to give up on getting an answer. Of all the times for his bluff to be called.

Then, finally, muttered as though to the bricks: “Rum Tum Tugger.”

Munkustrap nodded. “I’m—.”

“Don’t.”

“... Can I ask why?”

“Plausible deniability. Macca really doesn’t like the junkyard cats.”

Munkustrap caught the undercurrent of worry. Perhaps even fear. He was downplaying something. The silver tabby breathed deeply. Honeyed cardamom and a hearth fire in winter and...

“... Your sage is fading.”

“Is it? Hadn't noticed. Must have changed my diet.”

“Diet doesn’t change a cat’s scent.”

The Rum Tum Tugger waved him off. “Might do. How would you know? Expect Jerrie and Teazer soon. Don’t expect them to stop being a twin set of terrors, though.”

Munkustrap wanted to push, to demand answers about the fading sage ash of his scent, but it was quite apparent in the set of the Rum Tum Tugger’s shoulders that doing so would get him nowhere. Against all instinct, he allowed the Maine Coon to give him a half-hearted salute and leave. Munkustrap watched him go.

[locktobre]

not to sound weird but I am really trying to let go of the idea that the SLA future has to be utopic bc like we don’t have any evidence that it actually is in the first place. it’s almost the opposite, in fact. I mean in the movie the galaxy itself is literally dying and while they don’t really go into the repercussions of that, I plan to. and in the comic, there’s Ella Stellar trying to exploit Para-Den’s natural resources for money (no matter how stupid that plot is). so like, they’ve got problems. just bc it’s shiny and pretty on the surface doesn’t mean it’s not ugly underneath.

anyway I say this, as always, not for the sake of edginess but to really try to make it easier on myself lmao like I don’t wanna have to think thru how you even construct a utopic society. like it’s so hard. things can be better than the present times but that doesn’t mean it has to be some kind of perfect, idealized society. it’s fine.

[slashhinginghasher]

Closet Space - Jesse Cromeans x Marena Polunochnaya

Self-indulgent college AU? Self-indulgent college AU.

College senior Jesse Cromeans makes out with a hot international student at a frat party.

-

Jesse Cromeans and Caitlin Spann didn’t often go to frat parties anymore. The connections they’d gathered over the course of four years of business internships were enough to gain them access to real parties, not the desperate orgies of cheap sex and cheaper beer their peers engaged in. The Incident in their junior year also left Jesse reluctant to show his newly scarred face more than absolutely necessary. (Watching CEOs do lines of coke off of strippers’ tits in the hopes of getting a few business cards by the end of the night was necessary. Beer pong was not.) He’d made lots of excuses in that regard, and Spann was good enough not to call him out on it. But winter term was over, they’d both received their early acceptances from the Stanford School of Business, and tonight they felt like celebrating on somebody else’s dime.

They still made sure to choose one of the more monied fraternities. They did have standards, after all.

Old money or not, the inside of the frat house was still chaos. There was a massive, professionally decorated Christmas tree in the living room, which would be largely stripped of its ornaments and tinsel by drunk college kids come morning. Many of the girls had their tits out despite the winter chill, lots of skimpy, crushed velvet dresses and coquettish faux fur trim. Jesse was bombarded with greetings as soon as they walked through the door, and he fielded them with quickly waning patience as Spann drifted off to go do Spann things. He’d achieved a somewhat legendary status on campus after turning a first year stock market exercise into millions of real dollars. Spann had been his partner on that project, but she was perfectly content to take her cut of the money and leave the credit to him. She preferred to work in the background, claiming she got more done when she didn’t have to deal with the interpersonal bullshit politics that Jesse navigated so well.

He eventually wound up in the kitchen, where a steady stream of party-goers helped themselves to overpriced snacks (who put out charcuterie boards at a frat party, honestly?) and mixed half-assed cocktails that were 10% mixer at best. A couple groped at each other next to the pantry, and a short girl with dark, wild hair and an intense expression surveyed the stream of human traffic over the rim of a red solo cup. Jesse poured himself another whiskey and leaned against the island next to her.

PLANNING A MURDER?

The girl jumped slightly at the sound of his phone’s electronic voice, then glanced at him with startlingly blue eyes. She scoffed and took a swig of what looked like water or straight vodka.

“Just contemplating, not planning.” Her voice was lower than Jesse expected from someone her size, with a thick Eastern European accent. His lips twitched with a smile. He did always like them sharp, and a good chase was just what he needed tonight.

YOU DON’T SEEM TO BE ENJOYING YOURSELF.

“I’m not.”

THEN WHY COME?

“I’m fucking poor, and there’s free food.” As if to make a point, she turned around and started rummaging through the fridge like she owned the place. Jesse found himself at a loss for words, a laugh stuck halfway between his chest and his throat.

IF YOU’RE THAT POOR HOW DO YOU AFFORD THIS PLACE?

Jesse and Spann would graduate debt-free thanks to their stock market exploits, but the tuition at their university was… hefty, to say the least. He imagined it would be even worse for an international student.

“They gave me a lot of money because I am very sad orphan girl. And I am also devastatingly sexy,” she said, emerging from the fridge and shoving half a slice of pizza into her mouth in one bite. She flashed him a peace sign that somehow managed to be blisteringly sarcastic and sauntered away with her prize.

She was wearing a heavy plaid skirt that hit mid-calf, her black top looked like it had been run through a woodchipper and reassembled with safety pins, and she was eating stolen pizza straight out of the box.

Jesse wholly agreed with her self-assessment. The sexy part, at least.

***

He was still thinking about her an hour later when Spann sidled up on her platform stilettos, her balance impeccable despite her obvious intoxication.

“There’s a group of loudmouths gathering ‘round the pool table in the basement,” she murmured, resting her head against his shoulder. “You in a betting mood?”

“A hunting mood,” he signed.

“Ooooh.” She waggled her eyebrows dramatically. “Got your sights set on anyone?”

“I might.”

Most people thought Spann and Jesse were an item just because they lived together and spent almost every public moment attached at the hip. Which were pretty good reasons, when one thought about it. But Spann was largely a commitment girl, and Jesse was decidedly not. Spann didn’t want to be a metaphorical notch on a bedpost; Jesse didn’t want to be tied down. They’d made out once as an experiment at the end of their freshman year, then hashed out the boundaries of their relationship in a five-minute conversation that they’d followed ever since.

Jesse had no idea why other people had to make relationships so damn complicated.

Before Spann could convince Jesse to come watch her annihilate some frat boys at pool, the fraternity president approached them. He was a douchebag of the highest order - the type of guy who insisted on being addressed by his last name because his first name was Edwin or Briggsley or some other rich prick idiocy - and Jesse and Spann both hated him, but his obscenely wealthy father would be a useful business contact in the future, so they forced themselves to be cordial.

“Some of the girls are organizing a game of Truth or Dare in the den. You feeling bold, Caitlin?” he asked with a cocky grin. He was also the sort of douchebag who addressed all women by their first name, including his professors and women like Spann who could break his spine over their knee.

“No, thank you,” Spann said, cold and sweet as ice cream. “I finished high school years ago.” He laughed, the insult and the rejection rolling harmlessly off his shiny money veneer, and turned to Jesse.

“How about you, Cromeans?” Jesse was on the verge of saying no when he saw a mane of black hair being led, somewhat reluctantly, towards the small crowd gathering in the den. He shrugged with practiced nonchalance and held up his phone.

SURE, WHY THE FUCK NOT?

“Atta boy!” President Edwin Briggsley Douchebag III clapped him on the shoulder, and Jesse had to force himself not to break the twat’s hand. The other boy left to continue his rounds, recruiting anything with a pair of tits for his little game. Spann - god damn her fucking eagle eyes - had tracked Jesse’s gaze and was now grinning deviously.

“I heard she has sessions with Malloy every other week,” she whispered in his ear, referring to one of the lead staff at the university’s mental health clinic. “Condition of her enrollment.”

Now that was interesting.

“Happy hunting,” she cackled, elbowing him playfully in the ribs. “I’m off to make some rich boys cry.”

***

People were so dreadfully predictable, Jesse thought. Nearly ten people in and not a hint of creativity to be found. People who chose Truth were asked to recount their sexual history or most embarrassing moments; those who picked Dare were promptly relieved of articles of clothing. The object of his momentary obsession appeared to be having similar thoughts as she watched the proceedings with heavy-lidded boredom. The crowd booed as one of the boys dared a girl to kiss him and she threw herself at him with great enthusiasm.

“That’s not a real dare, you’re her fucking boyfriend!” someone protested. The girl stuck her tongue out at them, then shoved it back in her boyfriend’s mouth. There were more jeers and whistles and a few calls for them to get a room. One of the boys tried to get back everyone’s attention.

“Alright, alright, whatever, next victim!” He pointed at Jesse’s girl and trailed off, apparently realizing he didn’t know her name.

“Mareeeennnnaaaaa!” cooed the girl who’d roped her in to the game, dragging the vowels out in a drunken sing-song.

“Marena!” the boy announced. Marena quirked a brow, apparently unimpressed with his pronunciation. “Truth or dare!”

“Dare,” she said with zero hesitation. The boy honest to god rubbed his hands together and grinned like he was about to say something genius.

“Twenty minutes in heaven.” Not that genius, then. He grabbed the closest empty beer bottle and held it up with two fingers. “Spin the bottle and whoever it lands on gets locked in a closet with you for twenty minutes.”

Like hell was Jesse going to let one of these dumb fucks get her alone for even one minute.

“I thought it was normally seven minutes.”

“Are you backing out?” Marena flipped him off as an answer and snatched the bottle from him, sending it spinning with an elegant flick of her fingers.

She had a few whitish scars on her hand and wrist, barely visible in the low light.

Jesse tensed as the bottle slowed, frantically thinking up reasons to start a fight with whoever it landed on. But his efforts were unnecessary, because the universe and physics were on his side that night. The crowd erupted into a clamor of hoots and hollers like someone had just won the lottery. None of them had really expected Jesse to participate; he had connections and status and thus was too cool to be anything more than a silent watcher. President Douchebag ushered the pair to the nearest closet - a walk-in (fortunately for Jesse’s long limbs) that had been converted to a coat room for the night - leering at Jesse like they were good buddies who’d discuss the relative merits of European pussy over drinks later. Jesse ignored him and, ever the gentleman, gestured Marena in before him with a little half bow. Her head barely reached his chest as she passed him wordlessly; she was only a little taller than Spann and she was wearing flats. The door was shut and they were plunged into darkness, the sounds of the party muffled by the thick wood.

A few seconds of quiet stillness passed before Marena turned on her phone (which was at least three models out of date), using the light from the (cracked) screen as a flashlight. She looked ghostly in the faint, bluish light, the shadows deepened in the hollows of her eye sockets. Jesse leaned back against the door and folded his arms as she started a slow circuit of the tiny room, observing the winter jackets twisted haphazardly on every available hanger and piled in the corners on the floor. He would have loved to immediately start making use of his twenty minutes, but there was something animal and twitchy about the way she moved that made him think that any sudden moves would be met with teeth. She did not look at him, or at the way his posture and shirt emphasized the size of his biceps, which he didn’t like, and he really didn’t like the tension creeping into her slender shoulders. When he touched her arm to get her attention, she jolted as though shot.

YOU GOOD?

The amount of time she spent mulling over the question was a clear enough “no”, but she still answered anyway.

“The last time I was locked in a closet was… unpleasant.”

UNPLEASANT IN WHAT WAY?

Thoughts of high school boys with beer breath and over-insistent hands were filling him with a slow rage.

“In a ‘listening to someone be violently murdered outside the door’ way.”

Well, damn. Okay.

WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY SOMETHING?

“You ask a lot of questions,” Marena snapped.

I CAN DISTRACT YOU ANOTHER WAY IF YOU LIKE.

She resumed her pacing, chewing her lip, but she looked more contemplative than tense. Jesse was acutely aware of the ticking clock.

“When did you lose your voice?”

I NEVER HAD ONE.

“What happened to your face?”

NOW WHO’S ASKING TOO MANY QUESTIONS?

“Answer it and you can distract me however you want.”

He didn’t need a business degree to know that he was being offered a fantastic fucking deal.

I PICKED A FIGHT WITH THE WRONG PERSON.

Jesse barely waited for the electronic voice to finish the last syllable before tossing his phone to the floor and charging her. He burrowed both hands into that black mass of hair and crushed his lips to hers like a starving man. Her skin was cool, but he felt her hands like brands through his shirt when she placed them against his chest for balance. He tightened his grip on her hair, hard enough to pull slightly on her scalp, and let one hand wander lower, fingertips catching on safety pins and ripped fabric as he made his way down to the modest curve of her ass. In turn, her touch moved upwards, exploring the muscles of his chest and shoulders, sliding up his neck until her thumbs rested firmly over his jugular. It was a bold move, dominant, and he wanted - needed - to get closer to her, to press her body against his in a way their height difference would not currently allow.

Marena wrapped her legs around him with no coaxing when he picked her up by the waist, walking forwards until her back pressed flat against the door. She was so light, like a little hollow-boned bird, and if he’d had a little more blood in his brain he’d be worried about crushing her. As it was, his blood was rapidly migrating south and the only thing he was concerned about was the taste of her as he nibbled on her full lower lip. He nipped at her, hard enough to sting, then soothed the hurt with his tongue, and was surprised when her tongue darted forward to meet his. He rolled his hips into hers, slow and deep, as he explored her mouth, wishing there was less clothing in the way. His cock was pressed painfully against his zipper, but he made no move to free it; he was not going to fuck her for the first time under a time constraint.

Finally, he broke the kiss, resting his forehead against hers as they both panted for air. Jesse shoved a hand up Marena’s shirt, closing over her small breast and rubbing his thumb against the hardening nub of her nipple through her bra. Her head rolled back against the door with a soft thunk, granting him access to the soft skin of her throat. He latched onto her pulse point, sucking hard enough to leave a mark, and Marena purred. The sound shot straight to his groin, and he had a sudden, intense desire to bite down until the salty warmth of her blood filled his mouth and dripped down his chin.

He wrenched back. Jesse was no stranger to violent impulses - had even followed through on quite a few of them - but he didn’t want to ruin the evening by murdering this girl in a closet. Undeterred, Marena grabbed his head with both hands and attacked his mouth with hers. She kissed him ferociously, voraciously, a clash of teeth and tongue, and when she bit his lip hard enough to make him bleed, he almost came on the spot. His hands were all over her, needing to feel every inch of her body but barely registering the ridges of scar tissue they encountered. She slid her hands into his back pockets and pulled him in until his pelvis was flush against hers. He leaned in with his full weight, and the only thing in the world that existed was the heavy grind of his hips against hers and the hot, wet dance of their mouths.

He was so close to saying fuck it, ripping her clothes off and going to town right there on the closet floor, when someone pounded on the door.

“Knock knock, Cromeans! Put your dick away!” Jesse snarled, already planning a way to slaughter the little asshole who’d interrupted the best not-fuck of his life. The sensation of Marena’s body sliding against his as she settled on her feet sent another lightning bolt of pleasure down his spine. There was a shuffle of fabric as Marena picked up her phone and tried to put herself back in order. Jesse didn’t bother; he knew they both looked a damn mess and he didn’t give a single fuck. In fact, the only thing he cared about at the moment was getting her into his bed so he could finish what he’d started.

“Thanks for the distraction,” Marena murmured, opening the door to a chorus of cheers and wolf whistles. She rolled her eyes and started shouldering her way through the crowd. She didn’t look back, which stung a little, and Jesse gave a sarcastic little salute to the crowd to avoid looking like a lovelorn asshole before retreating to the basement.

***

He didn’t realize until much later in the evening that she’d stolen his fucking wallet.

[pokesception]

Playing some more pokemon, now that all the DLC is out. It's nice to finally be able to play with the shiny Giratina and Blacephalon I soft resetted for back in the 3ds days. And shiny Decidueye looks right at home in the Crown Tundra's wintery landscape. And the story stuff that happens, while not particularly dramatic, and over too quickly, is at least more entertaining than the isle of armor stuff.

I will say that the total amount of fresh content on offer still doesn't really justify the asking price of the DLC, especially as you have to buy it separately for both versions. There's a bit more to do, and more new things to see, in Crown Tundra, but not by that much, and the actual new explorable area feels a lot smaller. On the other hand, the handful of new pokemon are pretty cool, and the variety of legendary pokemon available to catch makes Crown Tundra feel more substantial as postgame material.

On the subject of returning legendary pokemon, most of them are encountered via 'Dynamax Adventures', and these are so, so much better and more interesting than max raids. They're basically a sort of rogue-like co-op pokemon battle minigame where your team takes turns choosing from some random pokemon then uses them to battle through a weries of four max raids (minus the tedious shield mechanic), with the option to for one player to switch out their pokemon for the one you just beat after each round. Your team gets four deaths for the entire run, and pokemon are not healed between rounds. Branching paths let you encounter different pokemon along the way - you don't get to see which ones exactly, but you do get to see one of their types, and various helpers, items, or healing points also appear on some paths. At the end you get to pick just one of the pokemon you caught on the way to take home with you, but unlike max raids you won't know if any are shiny until the end, and they're not identical for all players, so if the team beats a dragonair then at the end all the players will get a chance to take a dragonair home, but they won't all have the same stats or nature, it might be shiny for one player & not the others, etc.

Dynamax Adventures should make for particularly fun & engaging shiny hunts - just be sure not to take home any non-shiny legends that you want to hunt, as you can only keep one of each adventure legendary per save file. After the tedium, obnoxiousness, and rampant exploits of max raids and shiny dens, Adventures really are a breath of fresh air in that regard.

Even if you aren't shiny hunting they're still a lot of fun, imo. I was skeptical at first when I realized you can't use your own pokemon, but that's a key factor in their appeal. You end up using pokemon and moves that you never would have otherwise, and you can't just steam roll everything with a team of maxed out legends. There's admittedly some RNG involved in what pokemon become available, but that helps make each adventure engaging. And there's a lot of unspoken (since nintendo is scared of voice chat - admittedly not without cause in a kids game) team strategy in voting on the group's path, knowing when to trade out your pokemon and when to hold back because someone else in the group needs it more, looking ahead to weigh paths with helpers & bonuses vs ones that have a type your team will need for the final encounter, etc. The whole process a fair bit longer than a single raid den, but the moment to moment experience is a lot more varied and the shiny rates are hugely improved as a reward to draw you in. The legendary pokemon you can only catch this way are a compelling reward for players who don't care about shinies.

About the only downside I can point to is that the npcs that the game populates your team with if you don't party up with other actual flesh and blood humans are about as brainless as you'd expect from pokemon npcs. You really do need an online subscription or a few local irl friends to play with to fully enjoy Adventures. It's not quite as bad as solo raids, since at least they're choosing from the same pokemon as human players would be, but still a vastly diminished experience.

All in all Dynamax Adventures are great. Maybe not great enough to justify the total price of the game, dlc, & online subscription on their own, or to make up for the various shortcomings of gen 8 otherwise, but still easily the best game play to be had in sword and shield and possibly the best co-op pokemon gameplay since... ever maybe.

[uzume-giveaways]

With nicknames like that im guessing it's safe to say you're a SMT fan?

Could you do an Alolan zen mode Darmanitan?

Potentially named after one of the Jacks?

I'm not sure if it makes more sense to call it Jack or Black Frost, ~~~ YES I really enjoy SMT, I even made a SMT 3 Nocturne Themed Giveaway when the remaster was announced! Unfortunately I cannot hack Gen 8 pokemon in at this time BUT I really love those nicknames for Galarian Darumaka/Darmanitan! It makes me wanna use the exploit to shiny hunt a den those two (or at least one of them) are in. Thank you very much for the suggestion! 

[beelzemon]

How to Host Shiny Dens (a tutorial by Tumblr user TheTallest) :

1.) Pick your den. Make sure the den you pick has the Pokémon you’re looking for. I’d recommend checking on Serebii for the exact Den #s.

2.) Insert a wishing piece into the den until you get the beam color of your choice (the Pokémon you get in red beams WILL be different than the Pokémon you get in purple beams). You may have to do the den beam exploit for this.

3.) Save in front of the den before you start the raid. Make sure you’re offline.

4.) Once you capture the Pokémon from that den, DO NOT SAVE. Go here and use the code “9162” until you connect with SWSH user “Dudu”.

5.) Once in a trade with the bot, select the Pokémon you got from the den to trade with “Dudu”. Once you select the Pokémon, Dudu will cancel the trade and your seed # should pop up on the website (linked above).

6.) Do not do anything with your game after you’ve traded with Dudu. Remain in front of the now beamless den. DO NOT SAVE.

7.) After that, go to https://leanny.github.io/seedchecker/index.html to check your seed #. You do not need to input any of the required information on the website (you can if you want though). All you need to do is input the seed # in the “Seed” category and set your “Start Frame” to 0 and “Number of Frames” to 10000. Then, click “Search Next Shiny Frame”. Your shiny Pokémon should appear below with the amount of “Advances” (frames/days), the type of shiny it is (stars/squares), the ivs, the nature, and locked gender of the Pokémon.

8.) If your # of “Advances” is less than 3000 and you’re happy with it, you may now close the game. When you enter the game again your trainer should be in front of the active beam (before you caught the Pokémon).

9.) Fly to a Poké Center. The reason why I state this is because skipping frames/days in the Wild Area can sometimes cause the game to crash (because it’s already holding so much data).

10.) Once inside the Poké Center, turn off your Switch’s internet time in your console’s settings (do not turn off your console or close the game— just go into settings). This way you are now connected to your OWN time that you can manipulate later on.

11.) Go back in the game and click on the “VS” icon in your Rotom phone. You will now be performing the “VS Glitch” that allows you to skip time faster (than the Den Exploit). For more information on this method, I recommend watching this video at 15:15 to 16:15 (this step continued in the next step).

12.) However, for the “VS Glitch” I recommend picking “Casual Battles” instead of Ranked. Once both player cards disappear on the screen, hold the Home Button on your Switch and click “Airplane Mode”. This will cause your game to quit the Battle and disconnect from the internet. Do NOT turn Airplane Mode off.

13.) After you disconnect from the battle, spam B and go back into the settings of your Switch. Once in settings, skip ahead 1 day. When you enter the game again, the screen should “blink”. This means the game has recognized that the day has changed. Now you can SAVE. Once again, make sure you are in a Poké Center. Do NOT close the game while you skip ahead.

14.) Now that you have saved, you are free to skip ahead as many “Advances” that were listed on seedchecker (example in next step). You MUST do this day by day. It is the only way.

15.) For example, today is February 8th, 2020. If I were to skip ahead 1001 days, my shiny SHOULD be on November 5th, 2022. If I’m looking for a specific shiny, however, I should skip ahead until November 1st, 2022. Once I reach the 1st, I am to go back into the game and save. Then, I will fly back into the Wild Area and return to the den I placed my Wishing Piece into. The beam should still be up.

16.) Once you are at your den, save, and click on the den. Then, turn off Airplane Mode via your Switch’s settings.

17.) For this step, make sure you’re on Local Wifi. Then, click on “Invite Players”. Go back into your Switch’s settings and go ahead one day (while you’re searching for players). Then, enter the game again and exit the raid. Do not start it. Repeat this step for two more Pokémon (for a total of three Pokémon). Your fourth Pokémon should be shiny.

18.) If your Pokémon is not shiny, turn off your game and restart this method. Click on “Invite Players”, go back into your Switch’s settings and go ahead one day (while you’re searching for players). Then, enter the game again and exit the raid. Do not start it. After that, SAVE.

19.) Repeat the Den Exploit for a total of three Pokémon. Your fourth Pokémon WILL be shiny. DO NOT SAVE ON THE FOURTH POKÉMON otherwise you WILL not be able to re-roll for a different Pokémon.

20.) To re-roll, turn off your game and continue to skip ahead three Pokémon (use the same previous steps through the Den Exploit) until you find the Pokémon of your choice in the fourth frame.

21.) Once you find the shiny Pokémon of your choice, connect to the internet through the Y-Comm and start the raid! To continuously host this specific raid, Airplane Out of the raid as soon as your Pokémon is thrown out of it’s Pokéball. The game will kick you out of the raid. Then turn Airplane Mode off and reconnect to the internet through the Y-Comm. And so it goes.

Aaaaand that’s it! That’s how you host a shiny den! If you want to capture the shiny Pokémon in your den, make sure you have friends who can capture it for you. Have fun hosting! ❤️

[spirit-shroud]

Do you think it's a good or bad thing that hidden abilities and gmax status are something you can just tack onto pokemon now?

i’d like to preface this with some Thngs. 

i host shiny dens. i have a nearly completed shiny pokedex. i have unlimited access to genning pokes from nothing, multiple games with completed pokedexes, i can clone things, i have unlimited apriballs. i have an arduino board i use to play pokemon for me half the time, because a lot of the repetitive motions hurt my hands and i do a lot of repetitive motion stuff on this game because i have access to Everything and i Want Everything.

all that boils down to the fact i have Won Pokemon. i have reached automation. i am Done. there is nothing more swsh can give to me except me catching everything in love and friend balls and maybe doing competitive. 

so because of all that i think my opinions will always be skewed on these sorts of things because tbh i can just say ‘hm i wish i had a shiny gmax centiskorch, that’s hidden ability, and square shiny.’ and i can make it happen within the next two days. i just gotta do some seed checking, find a beam that works, and hand it off to my helpful robot to do the skipping and framework for me. to me, someone who’s Won Pokemon and knows about every exploit and glitch that i can use, getting gmax and HA pokemon is stupidly easy. it’s handed to me because i know these things. 

when max soup first came out, i found myself upset because i put in the effort to create, host, and catch a lot of shiny gmaxes, mostly in love balls (which, even with the love ball condition met, they have a maximum catch rate of 16%. to catch a gmax pokemon in a den takes hours.), and a lot of that effort felt wasted bc you can just. feed stuff some soup and make it bigger lol, the catch rates are better for non-gmaxes, getting the ability you want is easier that way, etc 

but also max soup is useful and accessible, and it’s made for people who like. don’t constantly grind shiny raids and are really hardcore into the exploits. it’s like.. for the intended audience and playerbase of the game, and gives your average player the ability to make their favourite pokemon big! that slaps! im really glad that it’s something people have bc gmax forms are super rad and their designs are all super cool. 

as for HA patches, i’m glad they exist imo, however. they don’t work in reverse. if they worked in reverse they’d be legitimately the perfect addition to the game. 

also i have some Tangential Parting Thoughts about the fact they keep adding all these things that are perfect to build the perfect competitive pokemon but just doing it slightly wrong. >:T why dont the ha patches work to make HA -> normal ability!!!! what’s the POINT, esp considering so many HAs are either competitively Not Viable or just outright useless? :( 

[ladykailolu]

Jotaro finds a shiny raid den in his Pokemon Shield game after many hours of exploiting the fuck out of the date change method and messages all the crusaders on his discord. So, Kakyoin, Avdol, and Polnareff all join Jotaro’s raid, but Polnareff joins just at the last second and couldn’t change his Pokemon. It was a litwick.

“Haha...Litwick,” Kakyoin types in his discord post and tags Polnareff to highlight the post to others.

“Sacrebleu!!!!” Polnareff almost immediately replies. “I was hunting for a shiny Goomy. I didn’t have time to change it!”

“I’ll protect your Litwick with my Dracovish,” Jotaro hurriedly replies and starts the raid. When they all sent out their Pokemon, it was evident to the crusaders that Jotaro just wanted an excuse to show off his new (shiny) fish when they saw that thing glisten.

[gravitycoil]

exploiters of shiny dens lmk if you open a shiny bulbasaur raid. I’d love to snag atleast 2 of them 🥺