#shifts should be 6 hours and 4 days a week don't @ me

[permanentreverie]

want to journal want to clean my room and bathroom want to make plans with a friend want to visit my sister want to stay home want to rewatch a movie want to start a new show want to rewatch an old show want to finish my book but WORK.

[foundfamilyhq]

Welcome + Rules

Welcome to the Tumblr Found Family HQ! Here, we present your blorbos to the masses to have them vote upon whether they should be added to the collective tumblr found family or not. Submit your blorbos here:

See which blorbos have already joined the found family HERE! To avoid seeing the results posts, mute "ff results" The rules are: 1. Play nice; be respectful to others 2. Blorbos can be of any age, since a found family can be just that. So feel free to submit a one-day old infant or a ten thousand year old tree, if those are your blorbos 3. No Harry Potter (or other titles associated to this series or the author) 4. No real people (might make an exception if it's funny) 5. "No real people" includes no individual tumblr users, youtubers or streamers (this might seem obvious, but there were still a lot of them submitted) 6. No OCs. All your OCs are great and I'd feel sad if they got rejected from the found family F.A.Q. under readmore:

Q. When are submissions opening? (Pinning this one to the top, because it's by far the question we get the most) Short answer... I don't know, sorry! Long answer... Because of the way the blog is set up, it's very hard for me to figure that out. Basically, each fandom gets one poll a week, but as there are often multiple characters from some fandoms in the submissions form, it's a pain to figure out exactly how many characters are left to add new polls for when you factor out the repeat fandoms (and also, if a repeat fandom's poll would end before submissions are opened, then a new character from that fandom will be polled before submissions are opened, meaning I'd need to work that out as well). There are often about 200 characters in the submissions form, so you can understand this is too much for me to figure out manually, especially since I'm a full-time shift worker, so my schedule doesn't give me a lot of free time. I don't even like to give a ball park estimate to this question, because with being a shift worker, if I have to do a lot of extra work at short notice and can't meet when I said I'd open submissions, I feel like I'e let you all down and that feeling sucks However, when I do open submissions I try to vary it so that one round will be open at roughly 7-10am GMT and the next round will be open at roughly 7-10pm GMT, to try to catch as many people possible. I know that's not ideal for everyone and people have expressed disapointment about this in the past, but those are all the hours I'm able to give :(

Q. How does this work? A. A post featuring a blorbo shall be made, stating who they are and their source material. A poll will be attached set to one week, asking if the blorbo should join the tumblr found family. At the end of the week, based on the result, I will announce if the blorbo has joined or not Q. What is a found family? A. A found family is a family you find for yourself. It is a term often used in fandom to describe a group of characters who aren't related by blood (although a few members might be) but have come to think of each other as a family through circumstance. Alternatively, they might not be officially recognised as a found family in canon, but wider fanon regards them as such Q. Is this a tournament bracket? A. Nope, blorbos aren't competing against each other, they're only here to be judged by you. We are here enternally submitting blorbos (at least until I run out of steam or pass away lol) Q. I'm not sure if my blorbo counts because of ___ reason? A. If it's not any of the reasons mentioned in the rules, then feel free to send an ask. Or just submit them anyway and I'll decide Q. I submitted a blorbo and they haven't been posted. Did you get them? A. Again, feel free to send an ask. I don't have a regular schedule for posting these. Somedays there'll be batches of polls, others there'll be one or none Q. My blorbos are a duo/trio/etc., who cannot be separated. Can I submit them as a group? A. While I would prefer to stick to individual characters, if you have some who absolutely cannot be separated, I might make exceptions. Most likely, I'll make a poll asking if they should be judged as a group or individually, since there's a lot of media I won't be familiar with Q. My blorbo didn't get voted into the found family! Fuck you! A. Friend, as a fan of Theseus from Hades Game, I understand what it's like to have your fave hated by fandom. Anything decided on this blog can never affect your personal headcanons, so go in peace with your middle finger held high Q. What are your icon and header? A. The icon is of the Pokemon Bouffalant and Natu, based on a series of trading card art where Bouffalant finds two Natu and rescues them - the true spirit of found family. The header is a group of characters called the Black Ravens from the Professor Layton series - a group of ragtag working-class kids who make a black market together Q. I wrote some propaganda on the submission form, can you post it or send it back to me? A. Submissions are deleted as the polls are posted, so I can keep track of how many I have left to post, which means I can't do this. Please save your propaganda for the post and not the submissions form Q. Did you know you used fan art on ___ poll? A. Unless I'd mentioned getting permission from the artist, then please assume that I did not know and let me know. I hate art theft and wouldn't want to partake in that, but I'm just not familiar with a good 80% of the series submitted, so sometimes it might slip through the cracks Q. Can I submit a character who isn't my blorbo? A. Also fine! I enjoy it when people submit controversial characters to see how they'll do Q. What happens if there's a tie? A. The blorbo in question becomes an occassional family member who appears with our found family for some important cutscenes, but isn't officially considered part of the found family

Q. No, but seriously, my blorbo got ditched. Do they get another chance? A. At the beginning of each year we host a Redemption Event, where any past blorbos who were submitted get another chance. Because of the high volume of ditched characters, to be included in the event, your character will need to be submitted with propaganda via a form that will be released about a month before the event Q. I think the image used is a big reason why my blorbo got ditched. Why did you use that image? A. If an image hasn't been submitted, I will just grab one from an image search result in most cases. You know your blorbos best, so if you have a specific (non-fan art) image that you think shows them in their best light, please do submit it when you submit them Q. Did you mean the book version or movie version of that character? A. Whichever version of the blorbo that gets submitted, that'll be the one I use. If no specific version is mentioned, I'll just post that blorbo in general and use whatever image is most common when I look them up, unless an image has been submitted or a book cover has been requested to be used Q. My blorbo is a character played by a youtuber and/or streamer, not the youtuber or streamer themselves, is that okay? A. If it's a character, then it's fine. But please mention this on the submission. Because if I look them up and the result looks to be just some real person, that won't be included. I am largely unfamiliar with these kind of fandoms and will always err on the side of caution about their inclusion Q. What counts as a "sweep"? A. Any character who gets 90% or higher in either joining or not joining is counted as a sweep. This doesn't give them anything extra, it's just for bragging rights Q. What counts as a "close call"? A. Any character who's poll results are within the 49%-51% range for join/don't join is counted as a close call Q. How many characters can I submit at a time? A. There's no hard rule, since the form doesn't track emails, but please be considerate to others and try not to submit more than 10 characters per submission period. See next question for more details Q. How many characters from the same series can I submit at a time? A. Four (4) characters per series per submission period. I'll be lenient for if they've been submitted by multiple people, but from my experience running this blog, it's only the current Hot New Thing that'll be submitted by multiple people and anything else is usually one person submitting one character after another. I used to allow more, but people took this for granted and submitted 50+ from the same series, so now 4 is the cap Q. You missed a tag from that poll! Can it be added? A. Sure! Tags are either provided by the submitter or where left blank, I'll use my best guess. At minimum, you'll get the name of the character and series as they've been submitted. If you know more, let me know and I'll add them to the post during the voting period. Please note: The polls themselves cannot be edited after being posted, only the tags Q. Can fictional characters based on real people be submitted? A. Fictional characters that are inspired by real people (e.g. Steven Universe being inspired by Rebecca Sugar's brother) are generally fine. But characters that are basically just some real celebrity making a cameo somewhere (e.g. Simon Cowell appearing on the Simpsons), are a no. Q. I don't understand what this blog is A. Don't worry about it, friend. Just keep driving and whatever you do, don't wind down the window. We'll be safe soon :) Q. Didn't this blog used to be called the Found Family Adoption Agency? A. It did, but I were made aware that the language used on the blog could be seen as potentially harmful to real life adoptees, so I changed the name of the blog and made some edits to try to avoid using such language. Posts made prior to 5th May 2024 will still contain references to adopt/ditching, so tread with caution on older posts

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not engaging enough with my neighbours?

I (26f), about 6 months ago, moved into my first apartment in a new city after getting my first post-college job. As the office building that I work at is located in a lively and touristy part of the city, the bosses require that the front desk is manned 24/7 and, after normal office hours, this is done by volunteers or people in entry-level positions like me as we only have a 4- day week otherwise. Therefore, I have a certain number of these shifts per month anyway and I also regularly offer to take over shifts for my co-workers as my schedule allows me to easily plan my private life around the shifts - additionally, the shifts themselves are not hard work. We are not allowed to do any of our actual job stuff (as this would mean they would have to pay us more for the shift) and instead are allowed to do pretty much anything we want as long as we stay behind the front desk and don't "embarrass" the company (I usually read or cross-stitch).

However, this does result in me having a highly irregular schedule, often working overnight or on the weekends. Therefore, I rarely see my neighbours - even though we have an organization in my apartment block called the Apartment Tenant Association (ATA). The ATA is an informal organisation that, bi-monthly, create opportunities for us neighbour to meet up and chat. Because of work, I have been largely unable to attend these meet-ups which I didn't really think would be a problem - attendance is voluntary and the ATA is informal after all. However, I have started receiving anonymous notes in my mailbox - at first merely expressing disappointment when I was unable to confirm attendence to an event, but they have become increasingly more aggressive, telling me that I am 1) a bad neighbour, 2) a bad person in general, 3) ruining the neighbour community and other similar stuff. I don't really think I am in the wrong but the person has kinda made me doubt if I should be trying to take over less shifts and spend more time at ATA meet-ups to have better relationships with others in my block.

AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[kittythelitter]

Thinking about a stobin focused shifter au where anyone who spends a little too long in the upsidedown becomes a shifter to a slightly demo/unsettling/vaguely off version of whatever animal they're most like, and control is hard, and amount of time spent in the upsidedown correlates to how much time you can/need to spend in shifted form.

So like Will, even after he gets control, needs to/wants to spend like half his time shifted but can't be shifted full time.

After getting stuck in the tunnels Hopper is like. Needs an hour/day on average and can stay shifted for up to 6 hours at a time.

After the tunnels Dustin, Lucas, Max, Steve, and Mike need a few hours a week/can stay shifted up to 3 hours at a time ish.

And then after season 4, Steve is up to Will levels because he got double (or even triple depending on how you look at it) exposed.

Robin, Nancy, and Eddie are like. Slightly more than Hopper. Like maybe need 1.5-2 hours a day can stay shifted for like 8 hours if necessary.

Dustin is now almost Hopper level because he got exposed a second time.

It takes time to learn control and obviously Will gets the most control quickly followed by everyone who got exposed in season 2. When the younger teens are going through puberty their control fluctuates enough that they all have to take time off from school to work on it. Steve is the best of the Season 2 Crew at getting and maintaining control because he has a lot of practice with physical activity and conditioning and personal discipline when it comes to sports and body control. El can help to a certain extent.

Anyway. All this to say. I can't decide on animals for everyone and I'd love input.

Steve is very much dog. He's loyal and protective and all that good stuff. And he mostly seems like a normal dog maybe with a little bit of a skin condition that makes his skin under his fur a weird texture but mostly normal except when he gets protective sometimes his mouth opens too big and he has too many teeth and bigger claws.

For Hopper I'm thinking also Dog but like. A dog that is Off. There's something weird about that dog like those dogs that look like they might be people in fur suits from certain angles.

Will I'm thinking something small and good at hiding. Like a burrowing rodent maybe. Like a rabbit or a hamster or a mouse or a Rat.

Henry/Vecna/One is a turkey or maybe a turkey vulture because turkeys are ugly and evil.

Dustin I wanna say small predator mammal like a weasel or a ferret or a stoat but IDK.

Mike is i think a very similar dog to Steve and HATES that they're so similar but I'm open to suggestions.

Max is a cat.

Lucas is also a cat because I don't have a better one for him except maybe also a dog like Steve because he and Steve are also similar and he looks up to Steve but I think it would be cute if he and Max were both cats but like very different kinds of cats but I'm very open to input here.

Robin is also a Cat (can you tell cats are my favorites?)

Nancy is some kind of persistence predator I think. Maybe a cat maybe something smaller and cuter but also deadlier. Like those super cute tiny wild cats that are the most deadly predators you know? I'd love input from people who know more about Nancy I love her but I don't get her like I get Robin yk?

Eddie is a raccoon or a bat but I will take feedback on this

Please let me know what you think and if you have other ideas for what animals they should all be.

Really tho I'm just. Imagining the cuddle piles and also Robin and Steve being inseparable in all forms but particularly Robin getting one of those tennis ball chuckers to tire Steve out when he's in a Mood and like. Everyone who doesn't Know thinks Robin has a pet dog and her parents are like. We think it's actually Steve's dog but it likes Robin more and she is more of a cat person but she loves This Dog in particular.

Also. Eddie having a compulsion to dig through everyone's stuff including dirty laundry piles and trash. And Eddie accidentally instinctively washing his weed and being like. Oh shit. Shouldn't have done that.

[barbieaiden]

1. Kell: Dude. You're no fun to play with, you're too good.

Aiden: Kell, I love you, but I think you just suck at the game.

Kell: Dude! I always won against my siblings!

Aiden: Aww. I always let my brother win too when we were little.

Kell: You're cheating.

Aiden: I would never. I take these things very seriously.

2. Kell: By the way, you know that guy I went on a date with before your coma?

Aiden: Yeah?

Kell: Yeah, we were supposed to go on another date literally the day you got into the coma, so obviously I was like "dude, I can't make it, my friend is having a literal medical emergency", and he was like "okay, I'll just break this off here then, bye".

Aiden: Oh nooo. Did I cockblock you with my coma?

Kell: You literally did!

3. Aiden: I'll make it up to you. I'll wingman you so hard. I'll introduce you to literally everyone I know.

Kell: Isn't that, like, the entirety of River Bay?

Aiden: Almost, yeah. So you're bound to find someone.

Kell: Dude, you did not win again.

Aiden: You practically let me.

Kell: Dude!

Peyton: Is now a bad time to say hi?

4. Aiden: Peyton! NO, of course not. I didn't even know you were here, it's been so long!

5. Peyton: Yeah, I seem to recall being ignored for a month?

Aiden: Sorry about that. I was sleeping.

Peyton: For a month?

Aiden: Doctor's orders.

Peyton: Ah, of course. Totally reasonable.

6. Aiden: But don't worry. I'm back in my element.

Peyton: Do I want to know what that means?

Aiden: It means I'm ready to annoy the fuck out of you and text you every millisecond 24/7.

Peyton: Okay, I can get behind that.

7. Peyton: how are you doing?

Aiden: Great.

Peyton: "Great"? Really?

Aiden: So great. How are you? Are you still working at the mall?

Peyton: I quit impulsively a few weeks ago. I should probably get a new job if I want to be able to pay rent, but, eh. Video games are more fun.

Kell: If you're evicted you can move into Sam and Aiden's closet, I hear it's pretty empty nowadays.

Aiden: Totally.

8. Kell: Peyton, you're good at connect 4, right?

Peyton: I'd say so.

Kell: Help me win. Please.

Aiden: Who's cheating now?

Kell: There's no rule that says you can't have someone help you.

Peyton: Don't put it there. One step right.

Kell: Here?

Peyton: Yeah.

9. Aiden: Peyton, I love you so much.

Kell: Dude. Did you just make me lose?

Peyton: [Shrug]

Kell: Fuck you. Both of you.

[New scene]

10.

Sam: You met Aiden right after the car crash.

Jordan: Yes.

Sam: How bad was it? He never told me.

Jordan: Considering the crash, his injuries were very mild.

Sam: But he could've died.

Jordan: He didn't. And I don't think you need to worry about something that happened six years ago.

Sam: No, I just...

Jordan: Just what?

Sam: I don't know.

11. Sam: I hated Aiden when we first met.

Jordan: According to Kell's accounts you were simultaneously in love with him?

Sam: Attracted to. There's a difference.

Jordan: Not to me.

Sam: And how many successful relationships have you had?

Jordan: Well... I've certainly had relationships, I can tell you that much.

12. Sam: Don't you get tired of talking to new people all the time? How do you even find so many people you're interested in? I did it once and now I'm marrying him so I never have to do it again.

Jordan: It's easy if you're drunk and have very, very low standards. It also helps if you're fresh off a 13 hour shift at a hospital.

Sam: That sounds awful.

Jordan: I don't necessarily recommend it.

13. Sam: But you keep doing it.

Jordan: I suppose I have nothing better to do after those 13 hour shifts.

Sam: I'm so glad I dropped out of med school.

Jordan: You should be.

14. Sam: I'm just going to get some water.

Jordan: Okay.

15. Lucas: No, I had to do it because Michael thought it was "rude".

Michael: It was.

Lucas: If I pay for something, I want what I paid for. That's not rude. If I fuck someone's tattoo up I'd fix it.

Michael: You can't compare a meal to something that's permanently on someone's body.

Lucas: You agree with me.

Peyton: Oh, yeah.

Lucas: Exactly!

16. Peyton: Hey, Sam. How are you doing? Sleeping better?

Sam: A little.

Peyton: So... while you're here... Aiden.

Sam: Yes?

17. Peyton: He's acting... suspiciously normal, isn't he?

Lucas: Right? I literally told Michael the same thing ten minutes ago. This is the way Aiden always acts after medical emergencies, he just pretends everything's fine.

18. Sam: It's been a month. Things have gone back to normal, he's not pretending.

Lucas: No, sorry, no offense, Sam, but I don't think you get it. You weren't there all the other times he had to go to the hospital because of drugs--and that shouldn't be plural, by the way--this happens every time.

19. Lucas: He says he's fine and that he's clean now and then he just waits until people stop asking him about it and we're back at square one.

Sam: This was different though.

Lucas: Just because it was worse and because he maybe went through a tiny little bit of withdrawal while unconscious doesn't mean he's magically better.

Michael: Lucas, please.

20. Michael: You yourself said that there's nothing we can do.

Lucas: Well, we can't exactly force him to do anything but there's a difference between overcaring and pushing him away, and being so passive it turns into enabling.

Michael: I agree, but I don't think that has anything to do with Sam.

Lucas: I didn't say it does.

21. Lucas: I just don't want him dead, that's all.

Peyton: I seriously doubt any of us want him dead.

Lucas: Exactly. So we can't just trust that he's better because he says he is.

Sam: That's not what--[Sigh] I don't think it's fair to talk about this behind his back.

22. Lucas: I'd love to discuss this with him directly but he makes it pretty difficult. There's a reason he didn't want to talk to us for a fucking month.

Sam: Maybe it wasn't deliberate. Maybe he was just recovering from a coma.

Lucas: But he was talking to literally everyone else during that time, wasn't he? It's not a coincidence he ignored me, Michael, and Peyton specifically.

23. Sam: I... I don't know his motivation. And either way I don't want to be involved in this.

Peyton: That's fair. I didn't really mean for this to be a whole discussion.

Lucas: Sorry. Look, my point is just... if he's clean, that's fucking great. But I kind of doubt it. Just... keep an eye on him.

Sam: I always am.

[oscurascout]

Y/N As A Doorman

From That's Not My Neighbor game

Part 6 (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10)

They had chosen to do house chores. After all, they would be the ones staying at home most of the time. I was happy to have a maid- I mean, a roommate. The good thing was that my house was big enough for plenty of people to live in, as it was inherited from my grandparents.

The D.D.D. agent left a while ago to arrange some things; I don't remember very well what they said they were going to do but I didn'tactually care. All of the residents were in their rooms except four, one being the milkman who was working a double shift. Meanwhile, both of the twins and Angus had left for a business trip, though the twins were expected to arrive sometime this week.

It was almost time to end my shift; I just needed to approve Francis while waiting, strangely, Mr. Schmicht arrive to the window, even though he wasn't on the entry list. "Maybe he had an emergency with his new book," I thought as I looked at Mr. Schmicht's ID and didn't see anything bad. I quickly started looking at the entry request.

Arnold - "You seem to be in a hurry."

"Yeah, you see, I'll be taking care of a very special friend," I said happily.

Arnold - *menacingly* "So that traitor survived?"

I was about to open the door when I heard him say that and completely stopped. "Sorry, what?" I said, confused and hoping I misheard him.

'Arnold' - *angry* "I asked if that traitor survived?"

"Yes, he did, and I won't let you hurt him ever again!" I said, angrily.

'Arnold' - *angry* "Tch, this messes up all our plans, dammit!" *hits the glass* "How? How is that rat still alive? He was supposed to die either by those damn yellow suit bastards or by the many injuries he had!"

"It seems you failed; serves you right for trying to kill him. And you know what? For doing that, I'll start calling the D.D.D. on all doppelgängers," I said with a smirk.

'Arnold' - *angry* "I don't care about the others, but I will tell you this, you better—" *interrupted*

“I think you are barking at the wrong tree. After all, it is you who should be careful because now *stands up and leans toward the window* I will be hunting you down like the prey that you are. So be careful, little doppelgänger. Make sure to always look behind you because if you don't, I, WILL, CATCH, YOU” I said with a smirk. I could tell that they remembered those words; after all, it was the exact same threat they had told me, and that only made them mad.

'Arnold' - *angry and banging on the window* “This is not over, you dumb human! I'll make sure to get both you and your little friend, and make both of you—” *interrupted*

I didn't let him finish and pressed the red button, which quickly put the shield down. I could hear them screaming at me. I quickly called the D.D.D., but by the time they arrived, the doppelgänger was long gone.

This time I didn't hide myself; instead, I held my ground. “I swear I'll kill you,” I thought as the D.D.D. started to patrol the perimeter. After everything was done and the D.D.D. agents were gone, an hour later, Francis arrived.

Francis - “Hello, Y/N. How has your day been?”

“Good. I received word that Hoon is getting released. He will be staying with me,” I said with a big smile.

Francis - “That's good to hear, but remember to be careful, okay? Also, if you ever need help with him, just call me, and I'll help,”

“Thanks, Francis, but a D.D.D. agent will be staying with me just in case. But to be honest, Hoon would never attack me,” I said, smiling.

Francis - “Mmm, so someone will be protecting you? That's good, but still, remember to call me in case of anything, alright?”

“Yup,” I said as I let him in. “This day ended well. Now I know who to hunt,” I thought as I started leaving the office.

Upon arriving home, I saw a truck parked in front of my house, my house lights were also on “He is here, finally” I thought as I parked in my usual spot and headed inside.

As I opened the door, I was suddenly greeted by someone hugging me. I managed to catch myself before I fell over and saw that it was Hoon.

Hoon - *happy* “Hoon! Hoon!”

D.D.D. Agent - “Hey, you're back! Great, I just bought food, so let's eat!”

Hoon happily led me to the dinner table, and for the first time in a while, I really enjoyed the food. “I feel as if everything is okay now,” I thought as I listened to Hoon happily 'talk'.

[re-velogs]

btw speaking of periods. here's a couple tips if nobody's told you — and these r just my personal experience of what worked for me, so take with a grain of salt! also just to say it from the jump i hope at least some of this could help a trans woman experiencing periods <3

Caffeine can help with cramps & (some) headaches. Even if it doesn't help you feel more awake or affect you in the typical way for whatever reason, it still helps with the cramps! If you don't like caffeinated beverages, midol or excedrin are both painkiller brands (acetimenophen i believe in both) that have caffeine in the pills as well, so you can take those to help without having to drink coffee or tea etc.

Heating pads or an electric blanket will change your life, but they can be expensive. You can make your own microwaveable heating pad with thick fabric and dried beans for much cheaper, just look up a diy guide to make sure you don't blow up your kitchen in a beancident (tone tag: silly!! very unlikely you can explode your kitchen, but you should still handle it carefully and not microwave it too long). If you don't want to or can't buy a heating pad/hot water bottle/make a heat plush, you can buy those little handwarmer bags at convenience stores (especially in the colder months). They're air activated and not all too expensive and last a while. I would take two or three and put them in a pillowcase and fold it up so i could lay it on my stomach like a heating pad without it directly touching my skin - since that can burn you.

Even if you don't experience bleeding, i would still recommend drinking a lot of water especially if you're like me and can barely get through a 16oz water bottle over two days (i'm working on it shh). It just is really good for you & again, can help with cramps, headaches, fatigue, and tbh even emotional symptoms.

You may not feel like eating anything when ur on ur period and i get it, i really do, but u gotta eat still bc it will make it all so much worse if you're on ur period AND hangry. that said, if you have any food sensitivities i would take extra care to avoid them during ur period bc you don't need to feel bloated and sick from your period And from eating lunch. it's horrid & i would sometimes end up playing myself like this right before a 6-8 hour shift on my feet and talking the whole day (i'm a teacher so i also would have to be explaining things and yknow, teaching without collapsing face first bc stomach ache).

As far as food goes, here's what worked for me: eating the same amount of food i normally do, but instead of 3 big meals and a snack or two (eating every 4 hours or so) i'd take my food amount and spread it out to turn it into a kind of constant nibbling the whole day (so finishing eating something every hour or two). i have stomach issues as-is so this helped prevent nausea and bloating, and also helped my energy stay consistent especially if i mixed it with drinking a lot of water and juice. personally it might be worth it to avoid super heavy/dense foods and invest in easy to make and simpler foods. like, protein bars, fruit strips, fresh fruit (apple slices and peanut butter <3) and veggies (carrots glazed in honey or roasted brussel sprouts are more delicious and easier to make than you think!). also, as much as you can, listen to what your body wants to eat. if ur craving chocolate, eat that. bc it's better to eat and feel good abt what you're eating than either not eating or feeling worse than you already do by forcing urself to eat stuff you don't want.

Last thing about food sorry it's just that eating is so important: If you have a good idea of when you get your period or when the worst symptoms are, try meal prepping the week before. nothing huge and complicated. you can straight up just make like six PB&Js and keep em in the fridge. if you have the energy to cook something you can have as leftovers, awesome! (one of my go to meals was boiling frozen pork & leek dumplings in chicken broth i made from store bought concentrate. took like 15 mins and i could sit by the warm stove and just watch it cook and then pour it in a thermos and then go lay face down somewhere. and it had salt, protein, carbs, veggie, just a great meal. and it being hot helped with cramps plus it was super light on my stomach!!)

Hate to say it but exercise helped so much with making periods manageable. If you can, try taking a 15 min walk each day. at the very least do some stretches within ur ability and comfort to help with general joint pain and keeping your body from feeling "creaky".

I love u please take care of yourself 🤍

[carrickbender]

Friday 5

1. Today was my first day on the water w/NRC, and it was cool. Saw whales, saw a bait purse seiner(the type of fishing I did in Alaska and California) working a mile from my house, fell through a dock and hurt my foot... and felt productive. My foot really hurts, but otherwise, it was a good day.

2. My boss wants to send me to Montana right after I get done with my CDL to help with logistics. 80+ hours a week, per diem, the whole thing. The abundance is truly mind boggling, and appreciated.

3. We are expecting a big announcement from my old employer about re-opening, and it sounds positive. Which means I'm going to start talking to management about joining their ranks. We need 2 shift supervisors, and considering my last 6 months in school, im on it!!! Let the self-selling... begin!!!!

3. CDL learners permit test tomorrow... oye. It's like I'm 16 again, but this time I get to learn how to drive a Tonka truck. It won't be my first time driving something this big, but it will be the first time legally.

4. Speaking of work, one of my friends in another department was out riding his motorcycle last week and was struck and killed. I was friends with both he and his wife, with whom I organized music for different festivals in Aberdeen. He was a grump if he didn't like you, but it was guys like him who taught me a lot, and we usually had a laugh at the expense of his crew. While he was on borrowed time thanks to having his heart stop for several mins about 3 1/2years ago, he lived every day to his fullest and fought hard to make it back. Peace be with him.

5. The hour that I have been making for myself in order to write and work on music has really started to pay dividends. Not that im some sort of virtuoso, but I feel like my playing is getting loose where it should be loose, tighter and more coherent where it hasn't been for a long time, and my writing certainly seems like it's progressing. I don't know how the rest of you who write do it, but I'm finding that if I let myself just go, lyrically, I get closer to what I want to say- not what I think I should say, and that is the step I've been missing for quite some time.

Just like forgiveness of myself, it's another rock layer in the open wound that is the canyon of my life. #in repair

Much love, and wish me luck tomorrow!

[worldismyne]

Seeing how you actually are able to keep your promise of weekly chapters, any tipps to commiting to a schedulde? I often think with all my free time I should be able to do the same with my storys but I just get burnt out or distracted and then self loath cause when I actually have the will again I have work responsibilities or other important stuff going on

Don't commit to an upload schedule until the first draft is finished.

Write to entertain yourself, not to meet a deadline.

Write as much as you can while the idea is new and exciting.

When soft writing and/or brain storming, I like to make a playlist specific to that story. The scenes I have that are tied to specific songs are the easiest to write.

Find the 1 hr on your days off that you have the most energy. (For me it's right after breakfast). Try as often as you can to write then. Even once every other week, is amazing.

It's okay to leave fics unfinished.

Your freetime where you rest is important

Listen to audiobooks in the same genre that you're aiming to write.

Whenever stuck, don't google, put < get there > and keep writing. When editing go back and either add to the scene or just cut it. 9/10 if I think a scene needs something to start it off, it actually doesn't.

(Longer explination of my process under the cut).

DON'T COMMIT TO AN UPLOAD SCHEDULE UNTIL IT'S ALREADY DONE.

I write as much as I can while hyperfixating on a story without posting it. So the draft for the fic I'm uploading atm was finished three months ago. I started uploading when I had 16 chapters written (or 4 months of backlog).

I can't count on how long an idea will hold my interest, or if I have enough material to stretch it out over multiple chapters. (I only just recently got into one shots. If you look at my other fics, I average around 20 k for a 'long' fic, because I get bored). So don't hold yourself to a strict length. Write the important, most engadging parts, walk away, come back and make sure it flows.

The important thing is I'm writing to entertain myself. Writing for a self imposed deadline or to meet audience expectations always burns me out. (No amount of kudos or comments will ever combat that)

I work 3, 12 hr night shifts a week, so a lot of the writing I do is during downtime at work. I personally find it difficult to write at home and spend a great deal of time recovering from working. The body needs that time to recover and it took years of unlearning that rest and self care are unproductive or a waste of time. If your work doesn't allow you that luxury, have a place out of the house you go to for longer periods of writing.

The playlist thing is a lifesaver, never discount the importance of soft writing. I literally can not visualize things, so music helps me have an outline to plot out scenes or chapters (i.e. what tone am I trying to capture). Also works to reignte the spark of inspiration. The time I'm most active is the morning, but that time often gets eaten up by real life, however it's easy to budget a half hour of time to that peak writing time. Those lil bits add up. If you haven't made progress on something in a while, it isn't a bad thing that you've prioritized other things. The writing process should be fun. It's like playing pretend, but you get to keep it afterward.

It's okay to abandon fics.

I still reread unfinished fics people posted, because what they had up was full of passion. A lot of the fics I couldn't finish were either the scope of the story was too big for what I wanted to write or the direction I was taking the fic wasn't working. Crest of the Dragon was on a 6 year hiatus before I was able to come up with an ending I liked. I was surprised people who'd followed it and left tumblr came back just to congradulate me for finishing it. Your readers will understand if you have to step away from something for a while. Updating serially often puts fic writers in a corner, by having the WIP up for everyone to see.

Burnout is usually not from the writing, but the real life shit going on around us. It can take years to figure out the main source and how to deal with it. Mental and emotional rest are important. I'm a bit neuro spicy, so there are straight up weeks where I have to resign myself to not creating anything. Having the back log helps in those instances, since l typically make things in fevered burst and then have to recoop.

Recently figured out listening to disc world novels has helped with my SE fic. It has good examples of absurdest humor, world building and general descriptions. I don't have time to read, but a lot of audio books are free on youtube. If you really, really get stuck, seeing how a pro tackles things can help even subconciously.

<get there> is my new friend. I'm not big on writing non-linearly. For longer stories, I'll parse out the main story beats and then hope the characters develope in that direction. Sometimes they go off the rails on me, or a planned subplot gets scraped. So, for this fic, I had all the mystery reveals spaced out between the two storylines. For character arcs, I go on explorative vibes.

All this to say, writing for me is an escape, and most of the time I'm doing it when I'm in a position where my options are either be on my phone or write. If I got 15 min or more, I choose write. If I got a sentence out, that counts.

It doesn't have to be perfect, or finished, or written in a timely matter. It just has to be, as long as what you're writing entertains you. Worry about uploading once you're done with it.

[nicistrying]

1am and I can't sleep which sucks bc I'm getting up at 4 to go to work for 6 with the dep bc everything is so fucking behind. I am truly at the end of my tether this week. None of us should be having to work so much extra just to keep the place afloat. I snapped at one of our drivers yesterday bc he keeps insinuating that stuff not being perfectly prepped for him is my fault when it's not. We had 2 v inexperienced people picking orders yesterday bc there is no one else, and they made some rookie mistakes as you would expect but 99% they did a great job for having been thrown in the deep end. So when he kept nagging at me I just snapped that it wasn't me. That's the second time in 2 shifts working with him that he's been an aashole to me completely unnecessarily and I just don't have the energy to swallow my frustration. My wagon driver warned me he was a dick and he was right. We had directors in visiting yesterday and they were telling the manager we're doing a fantastic job, really successful online launch (the place is just about burning to the ground. Like barely afloat to the absolute bare minimum and everyone is so stressed and tired and overworked and underpaid), keep doing what you're doing (I don't love the manager but she has had to work insane hours this week, so has the dep. I've managed to only do an extra hour or two a day so I'm lucky) and they gave her.... a £10 voucher. For the worst week we've ever had at work, between almost 30 staff. 33p each. I was so fucking angry, they acted like it was this huge prize. In their stupid suits in their stupid fancy cars with their stupid fucking briefcases while we were all working our asses off, going without breaks, coming to work on 3 hours sleep just to keep the place barely functioning. I fucking hate this company

[writing-in-the-impala]

You Always Hurt The Ones You Love (Part 10)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

AU: Professor!Bucky Barnes/ Teacher!Bucky Barnes

Series Summary: You fall for your smoking hot literature professor Bucky Barnes (quite literally) what follows you never predicted would happen.

Warnings: Swearing, Drinking, teacher-student relationship (but like it’s all legal chill) and mentions of PTSD because it’s Bucky, SLOWburn we’re in for a long ride

Word Count: 2793

A/N:  Please leave me love and reblog this so i get inspired to write more, okay thanks 

MASTERLIST | SERIES MASTERLIST | Part 1,  Part 2,  Part 3,  Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9

"Hey remember a few days ago in the hospital Peter mentioned something about a holiday?" Bucky asked throwing some popcorn in his mouth as you rested your head on his shoulder watching a tv show together. Bucky made a habit of coming over to your house or having you come over at least a few times a week, it was weird because you saw each other in class but you couldn't interact so these were the only times you two could be together.

"Yeah, I remember." You replied.

"What's actually happening? Because I know Peter said he thought I was invited but by the way you reacted I know I obviously not-" Bucky began but you interjected.

"Wait hold up." You said sitting up and turning to face Bucky. "Don't say it like I hate you, the only reason I didn't mention anything was because Tony will be there." You explained.

"That's what I don't get, why is Tony so invested in your life? He's always there? We have to sneak around but you just sit in his office casually talking for hours." You could see how annoyed Bucky was.

"Bucky please calm down." You said.

"Calm down? I'm angry Y/N, I'm jealous of why he gets superior treatment to me." Bucky explained.

"Bucky, Tony is basically my dad!"

"Shit. Wait. Natasha said something about that after Bruce's party, I'm sorry."

"Bucky you need to stop jumping to conclusions." You said gently.

"I'm sorry." He replied.

"It's okay, look the holiday was an idea Peter and I had for May and Tony, we wanted to send them on a cool trip. Then Tony said he wants Peter and me to come but for us to bring plus ones so we're occupied, I'm not allowed to bring Natasha was the only rule Tony gave me."

"And Peter obviously thinks you'll take me because that's logical but he doesn't know I'm your teacher and if Tony knew we would be dead because he hates me." Bucky explained more to himself than to you.

"Exactly." You confirmed.

"Maybe I should just quit?" Bucky proposed.

"No."

"It's fine I don't mind."

"Bucky we've been through this before." You tried to argue.

"The solution to all our problems would be me quitting."

"Who would be my teacher?"

"Okay that's a good point. Fuck. There's no way round this." Bucky complained. You proposed to drop the subject, the two of you continued to watch the show in a comfortable silence but the conversation still held a presence there in the back of your mind. It wasn't that you didn't want Bucky to come, you really did. But it wasn't logical, not only did Tony dislike Bucky but he also knew that Bucky was your professor, knowing those two facts you were more than certain Tony would make the two of you break up. You fell asleep while overthinking the situation in your mind, only waking up when you felt a weight shift beneath you, you looked up to see Bucky standing up and cleaning up the coffee table. "It's fine Buck I'll do that in the morning." You said and he chuckled lightly.

"In other words you'll be late to class." He replied putting the dishes in the sink and begging to wash them.

"It's okay I'm pretty sure the professor likes me, so I can get away with it." You day standing up and picking up a tea towel to dry the dishes Bucky was washing.

"He is doing your dishes."

"Steve's not doing my dishes?" You retaliated making Bucky laugh and shake his head. When you finished doing the dishes Bucky pecked your forehead lightly before saying. "I'm gonna go." You wrapped your arms around him and pouted. "You're not going to stay?" You asked sadly. "I can't tonight doll, I have too much work to prepare for tomorrow." He said letting go and going to grab his coat, and put his shoes on, something felt off about his behaviour, when you looked into his eyes he seemed lost. "Are you sure everything's okay Bucky?" You asked walking up near him. He stood up and smiled gently wrapping his arms around you and resting his head against the side of yours. "Work is just stressing me out 'tis all." He replied before kissing you one last time to say goodbye.

You weren't late to class in the morning but Bucky was. Everyone was sitting in the auditorium waiting for him not knowing if class is cancelled or not. "Isn't there like a rule that if he doesn't show up after 15 minutes we can leave?" Scott Lang, the guy who sat besides you said.

"I'm pretty sure that's a high school myth." You replied, this started a conversation between you and Scott that was only stopped when a slightly disheveled Bucky walked through the door making the whole room go silent. His hair was messy, he decided not to wear a tie but rather just a shirt, with jeans and formal shoes. A contrast to his usual suits, causing a few whispers mainly between the girls of the class. Bucky didn't address the fact that he was last rather just began the lesson. "Okay today we're talking about handmaid's tale, and about how Atwood uses the feminine perspective." Bucky began. "Hey do you have a working pen? Mines ran out." Scott whispered to you.

"Yeah sure," You said quickly going through your bag. "Here." You said handing him the pen.

"Thanks, I promise I won't steal it." He said with a wink making you laugh.

"Lang. L/N. Can either of you repeat what I just said?" Bucky questioned, everyone turning to look at you and Scott.

"You said, Lang, L/N." Scott repeated. Making a few people in class laugh including you until your eyes met Bucky's angry ones and your mood dropped.

"As I was saying..." Bucky continued the lesson.   "Okay you're free to leave. That's all I had to teach for today, Lang, L/N. Pleas stay behind I need to talk to both of you." Bucky said sharply and everyone began to leave. "Ooo we're in trouble." Scott whispered to you making you try and mask your desire to laugh. "He looks like steam is going to go out his ears." Scott continued.

"It's because everyone is either to scared of him or too into him to stand up to him, you threaten his authority." You whispered back making Scott laugh in turn.

"So which one are you?" Scott asked suggestively, but Bucky cut in with a cough before you could answer.

"Mr Lang, how much are you paying tuition to be here?" Bucky questioned

"Too much." Scott replied simply.

"So you decide to waste it by messing around like a child? Passing notes." Bucky questioned.

"It was a pen." You cut in.

"It doesn't matter what it was. Mr Lang, I expect this to never happen again." Bucky said in such an angry tone that it made you jump.

"Okay, I'll bring more pens next time." Scott replied raising his hands up.

"Okay leave." Bucky said frustrated and you and Scott both stood up.

"Not you Miss L/N." He said and you sighed.

"Good luck." Scott whispered before walking out. Bucky stood there in silence for a few seconds just starring at you. "Spit it out Buck I don't have all day," you said frustrated.

"I feel like you believe you have some immunity and I'd like to make something clear, in these walls we don't know each other, you mean nothing to me here. You have no right to act the way you did today. You can't just-"

"All I did was give him a pen!" You argued back your voice revealing the pain of hearing Bucky's words.

"I'm not sure if you're aware but I saw how you were supporting his jokes." He said using air quotes for the word jokes.

"Everyone was laughing." You argued back.

"That doesn't mean that it's acceptable behaviour, you are here to learn not participate in childish humour or snarky comments-"

"Barnes, oooo Y/N in trouble." Tony Stark said walking into the class right at the end of Bucky's rant. Bucky simply let out a breath and straightened up in Tony's presence while you relaxed.

"Is this important right now Stark?" Bucky questioned.

"Yes Barnes some of our time is more precious than yours, we have things to do. Sign this." Tony said handing Bucky a letter.

"What is it?" Bucky questioned braking eye contact with me.

"It's a lollipop, what do you think it is Barnes it says at the top." Stark said sarcastically making Bucky visibly frustrated as he quickly read through the page that Stark gave him. While Tony began casual conversation with you. "Here." Bucky cut in handing Tony the paper.

"Finally. I'll catch you later kiddo alright?" Tony said to you.

"Actually I was about to leave." You said standing up and ignoring Bucky.

"Great because I wanted to talk with you about a few things." Tony said as the two of you left, you looked back to see Bucky shaking his head while collecting some papers off his desk. Tony ended up inviting your round for dinner and you accepted, knowing that you aren't up for seeing Bucky tonight after the way he treated you in class. You never expected any special treatment from him, but saying that within the walls of the class "you mean nothing" to him, that one hurt more than you'd care to admit. Bucky texted you right before you were about to leave to go for your family dinner.

Bucky: Dinner? x

You: I've got plan sorry

Bucky: Ok.

You felt frustrated slightly that he refused to acknowledge earlier, but you didn't want to make much of it so you didn't continue the conversation. Peter was happy to see you as always and you were happy to see him out of a hospital bed. Aunt May made your favourite food as of she sensed you were having a bad day. "So Peter how's things with MJ." You asked insinuatingly making him blush.

"She's good." Peter said not looking up from his food.

"I think what your sister is asking is have you finally made a move?" Tony added.

"I wanted to," Peter began.

"You should invite her over for dinner, and Y/N you should invite, oh god I forgot his name-" May began.

"Bucky." Tony added making you choke on the food you were eating.

"I'm sorry what?" You said after drinking some water panicking internally z

"Although I'm not sure how long that'll last they were fighting today." Tony added rolling his eyes and continuing to eat and your eyes widened, looking over at Peter accusingly.

"I didn't say anything." Peter said raising his hands.

"For the record you can't hide anything from me, you should know that Y/N." Tony said.

"I'm not-" You began to argue.

"Save it. The heart eyes alone expose you two, let's not mention that you two suck at being discreet." Tony added.

"Since when do you know?" You asked.

"Suspected it for a while now, the hospital proved it." Tony said smugly.

"Fuck. Have you told anyone?" You asked.

"And get you kicked out? Of course not." Tony replied.

"Wait what do you mean kicked out?" May asked.

"Oh did she not mention Barnes is her professor."

You could see the shock on May's face, the look Tony gave you made you want to crawl into a hole.

"I think I'm going to go home." You said excusing yourself from the table.

"Oh don't be dramatic no one cares your dating your professor." May said dismissively.

"She's right, but you could've chosen someone better than Barnes."

"Tony." May said giving him a look.

"Hey I'm not gonna pretend I like the guy, but I will be civil."

"Does that mean Bucky can come with us on the trip?" Peter asked excitedly.

"I'll allow it but the moment he steps out of line -"

"Awesome!" Peter said with a smile on his face.

"He likes him because he bought him gummy bears." You explained to Tony.

"And he's really cool! He rides a motorbike." Peter added.

"He what? I don't want you going on that death machine." May said to you. This started a more light-hearted conversation. It was only after you left you saw that you had a few unread messages and missed phone calls.

Bucky: Can we talk? x Bucky: are you okay? X [Missed call] Bucky: I know I fucked up. I'm sorry, please let's just talk. [Missed call x3] Bucky: I'm sorry. Bucky: just let me know you're okay? Bucky: I feel like such an idiot but I'm worried doll, let me know you're alive or I'm gonna come over to make sure.

The last text was only five minutes ago so you decided to call him, he answered straight away.

"Don't ever scare me like that it's been three hours I thought something happened."

"Hello to you too." You replied.

"Y/N." Bucky said in a disappointed tone.

"Relax, I was at a family dinner. My phone was in my coat, I'm sorry."

"No I'm sorry. Today I don't know what happened. I said things I shouldn't, I was trying to overcompensate for how I feel about you to hide us, and I went too far. The things I said. You mean everything to me." He said making you tear up slightly.

"You mean everything to me too." You replied.

"Am I forgiven?" He asked in a sweet tone.

"I guess. Also you can come on the holiday thing." You added.

"What?" Bucky sounded obviously confused.

"Tony knows." You simply said.

"What? Fuck. You told him?"

"No he said he's been suspicious for a while because of our and I quoteheart eyes for each other then he also noticed us at the hospital."

"But today he didn't say anything?"

"I know, he was enjoying the drama. But he says he'll be civil and not tell anyone and then he said you can come."

"Y/N, doll, I'm so happy."

"Me too Buck,me too."

Tags (send me an ask or message and I’ll add you): @iconictaurus@whosmarisaaarw@grayxswan@sideeffectsofyou @alt-er-love-er-alt

[princess-pill-enjoyer]

life's been okay. nothing special. days just keep on going. ive had a job for bout 2 weeks. ig thats not really an achievement tbh.

before this, that work from home place i was barely working, prolly 5-10 hours a week. and i'd slither out of those where possible anyway. this one week i worked a whopping 2 hours within 2 weeks. I was planning on killing myself and occasionally tried to all throughout having those jobs so i wasn't really worried about the consequences

before that the only other in person job i had was for my ex best friend. she worked there so i applied and got a job o work with her. only for her to quit 2 weeks after i got in whiich lead me to quit prolly a week n a half later cause i finally got fed up with the manager.

so now, even tho it ain't the longest ive held down a place, its the first that i really cared to put in effort to hold a job.

im semi celebrating but im honestly miserable. my feet hurt so fucking bad so it literally doesnt matter how good my hours are i never want to leave my bed. the people up there are so cliquey and on my 2nd day out of training one of my coworkers went off on me for going too slow and "not putting in my part". theyre starting to give me longer and longer shifts. i went from working 3-4 8 hour shifts per week to working 3 doubles just like that. they sooo generously give an hour and a half break in between the 6:30-3 and 4:30-8 shift but.. who in their right mind is even leaving atp? i live too far for that. i'd be home for at most an hour. waste of gas.

and to me what's worse, this whole situation is exactly what i've been avoiding. i knew it'd come down to this someday. but what alternative do i have?

HA. you know as a kid, i never understood addiction. I never thought I'd have to deal with it. By the time I was 8 I knew I'd kill myself someday. if i ever felt bad, that'd be what i'd do. no need to force myself to do something i didnt really wanna do. but now it seems so easy. i don't know what i wanna do from here. i hate my job. i hate my home life. i dont like to talk to my friends anymore. im bored of games. im bored of music. bored of tv.

whisking the days away doing what i have to would be a lot easier if i didnt have to be fully present for all of this. just something to pass the time until i have a better handle on what's the next move. right now, the only thing i can do is save up money. i have shit to pay off if i wanna keep a good credit score and i have things i need to buy. what's me hating every second gonna change?

though i know it's a slippery slope. abusing shit aint gon work out as smooth as I wish it would. I'll get addicted and then I'll get used to feeling that way so it'll take more for me not to get annoyed. then it'll turn back to me immediately running back to it for every minor situation. and honestly with the job i got i'd just have to hope i would be able to push through it without it being noticeable

i'm not happy i stopped. i feel like had i still been on dph i would've known for a fact how to make myself look normal. i could be gone out my mind but long as i get the shit right i could just daze through the days. but ya know. now. i ratted myself out

and now im stuck.

nothing more for me to do. nothing else i could be doing. nothing else i should be worried about other than making money

I never understood why adults always told me i'd miss being a kid since i was always struggling so bad. all they ever said is that my problems then were gonna feel like nothing once i was an adult. but they were wrong. i guess for now. but all i wish now is that i used all that freetime back when nooo one woulda suspected anything if i was away for a lil while. back when i wasnt ful grown and it'd prolly take a whooole lot less to finish the job

but here we are. forced to keep going and doing what i can to suppress what i really wanna do

ah speaking of which... i got pissed the other day and i tossed one of my drawers and broke it. then broke my bottle for my vitamins by throwing it to the ground. then i accidentally knocked over this container of beads and instead of just sweeping it back into the thing and reducing the mess, i just kicked it as hard as i could and tore the container apart. there's still beads everywhere

that is something i can't force myself to contain anymore. everything else i've been dealing with fine but when im pissed im pissed. i gotta get that under control too

[bunnyb34r]

So at work Sunday we got dropped SEVERAL pallets that had been in the back room that have been there anywhere from 2 days to uh... .....uh.... weeks? Bc Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumbass like to wait until after 4am crew leaves and then take whatever pallets were left for them/we told them to do to the back and continue doing nothing for the rest of their shift

And NewLady doesn't know how (we showed her 6 different times... 3 different people) or is lazy so if there's an unwrapped pallet that needs either rewrapped or rewrapped and tagged, she will just wheel it to the back at the end of her shift

And NetflixCoworker routinely will take shit to the back to "finish tomorrow" and then conveniently is off the next day or just straight up won't get it from the back herself

So anyway we get dropped pallets, none of mine (obviously) and ofc they're NetflixCoworker's and she's not there. So eventually NewLady says she'll put out the stuff or put the boxes under the table. Cool. I go do my own shit.

Was thinking to myself "honey you don't wanna play chicken with me bc I play to win even if it hurts me. I'm not doing your guys' work when you don't even recover my area when I'm not here."

Come in today and what's waiting for us? On top of 4 new items for ME, 2 for her, and 2 in ladies? Oh it's the pallets from Sunday! What a suprise.

Again don't play chicken with me, I work 4 hours you work 8. You clearly have more time than I so I don't think i should bust my ass to do it. And I had 4 new items.

So when I left she still hadn't done them, and again told me she'd try to work on em after I left.

Apparently she told [relative coworker] that SHE should do the pallets instead of recovering. I'm pretty sure they just got wrapped and tagged but I can't remember what she said happened (brain fog so bad today)

Anyway I'm tired of cleaning up other peoples messes

[floofyfluff]

4:18 am summary of me taking a holiday/snow day shift for extra pay. since i have officially finished with my day job as of 1 pm. is that:

cw death and just like. literally every day i desire to kill the concept of god more

i am a moron. how did i forget where i came from in 6 months. it's so cold and its december which means that everyone is dying. 🎶 its the most wonderful time of the year 🎶 the hap-happiest season of all!!!🎶

god does not exist and he does not love you and i wish you would stop giving him credit for work the rest of us are doing. while blaming us for everything else. i GET that you're devastated i DO but hm i guess actually its my fault i didn't see your grandma's atherosclerosis 3 years ago. thanks. yeah its my fault shes dead. i would really love for a medic to show up but unfortunately they're all busy with the people who might be salvageable right now. a doctor??? LMA fucking O that's not going to help. no amount of epi would help here. i'm breaking ribs as a performance rn. my partner has been here for 2 weeks i've never met her before she's visibly developing a panic disorder. she could be more helpful but also it doesn't matter so whatever. i'm just sitting here until med control can call official tod. which they should have called an appropriate crew here to do before we got here. no shockable rhythm here this is exclusively to make you feel better. which i cannot stress enough i would be very willing to do bc i have done worse things for 2 min cycles but you're telling me that it's my fault this happened while im sobbing so honestly. lay off. or die i guess. whichever comes first.

god does not exist he does not love you and if he does exist he in fact thinks its funny that you die while trying to stay warm under your bed when its -8F. he thinks its hilarious. man's got a long record of opening up the earth and swallowing well-meaning families to teach you a lesson about how much life sucks and how you should fear him just in case he can make it suck even more. it's not my fault of your fault that energy costs as much as it does and your mom thought she'd be fine with some extra blankets!!!! she wasn't fine and its not our fault but it sure feels like it doesnt it!!!

god does not exist and does not love you and you are now the third fucking family who has told me that it's my fault your grandpa is dead in 6 hours and i don't care anymore. a medic is gonna show up here in 10 min and give him an i/o and he's still gonna be dead. I am once again hoping that your prayers get him where he wants to go but don't fucking blame me if you think that they don't. take that shit up with god.

god does not exist and he doesn't love you but drunk ass extended family trying to get gma up the stairs and causing So many more problems than they are solving DOES exist. and they are doing 10x more for everyone than thoughts and prayers. i do not want this soda that i now have but thank you. this soda i do not want is also the reason im still alive

wrote this at 4:20 hahah blaze it and its now 5:03 and i have soft cats in my bed so i guess i'll live. also if god existed which for the sake of the world and all that is decent i hope he does not. i'm going to physically fight god

[perexcri]

For the fanfic thing, please

2, 3 and 11 for To Hell and Back

4, 9, 13, and 15 a flower that resembles you

If that’s too many you can veto what you don’t wanna do☺️

I hope you are doing wonderfully, Perc!!

hi Vee!! i love all of these so i'm gonna answer them but put them under the cut because i don't know how to answer things succinctly lol

first off: To Hell and Back Again :D

2: What scene did you first put down?

basically Chapter 6: Castle!! i originally just wrote a one shot that was this chapter (with some parts that ended up in chapter 5 as well), and after a few weeks i started trying to turn it into the story that it became

3: What’s your favorite line of narration?

i honestly do not know? i remember this one less for the actual writing than i do the plot and characters, so i had to dig around a little, but i did find one line i think about fairly often:

Opening his mouth, Mike tries to get the words out–any words–but they won't come. They tangle in his throat, and his own tears pool in his eyes instead. Against the burning aches in his joints, how the backpack still digs into his shoulders, Mike reaches out on his own. He takes his bloodied, cut hand and presses it to Will's cheek, just to feel the pain and know it's real.

11: What do you like best about this fic?

first of all, i’m just glad i finished a long/time-consuming creative project T_T i hadn’t done one in so long and i always feel awful because i constantly start things and never finish them, but writing this helped me prove to myself that i can actually complete long projects

i also really like that i took my own spin on the apocalypse byler concept. i know it ended up definitely taking a more serious/angsty turn about halfway through, but i like that i tried to approach them getting stuck in the upside down with a more humorous lens. when i first wanted to do an apocalypse byler fic, i tried to think of ways i could make the concept more fun for me, and i’m happy with what i ended up with :D

now: A Flower That Resembles You

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue? 

ooooh okay so my favorite line of dialogue is actually from the last chapter for the whole fic (which i already wrote because i was in dire need of some serotonin in church one day lol). so!! i can’t post it, but i’ll take this one from tonight’s update instead :D

“Do you hear it?” Mike asked in the silence of the dark one night. Just a few minutes earlier, the bells had chimed for midnight.

“Hm?” Will groaned into his half of the pillow, cheek squished up against one of his eyes.

Mike shifted a little, just enough that Will could tell he was craning his neck, trying to get a good look at him. “The sea. You can hear the waves in the distance.”

(it’s a few lines of dialogue but let’s just pretend it counts lol)

9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic? 

not of this fic specifically, but like my last a/n said, there’s a lot of the world-building that i’m borrowing from an original story i’ve had sitting in my brain for like 8 years now!! the biggest difference between this fic and my original idea is that my original idea took place in a more industrialized city - think the industrializing north in the US during the like 1870s-1890s. if i ever get to working on it some more, i definitely want to keep that industrialized setting!! i opted for the kind of medieval/fantasy setting here because i thought it would work better with the characters (and give me an excuse to draw from my many hours of watching Merlin lol)

13: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading? 

ahhh i love music questions!! ok so i have the playlist for this fic, of course, but i listen to the full version that i have on private on my account right now. i listen to the whole thing about once a day while i’m at work, just to keep the vibes in my head so it’s easier to write!!

i do mainly remember/classify my fics by what albums and artists i listened to a lot while working on them (even if they do have an official playlist that goes with them). so, in my head, i classify this fic mainly as a Dance Fever, Get Behind Me Satan, and Love Yourself: Tear fic! Dance Fever for the vibes and religious undertones, Get Behind Me Satan because the entire album is centered around truth, and Love Yourself: Tear because that’s the album that The Truth Untold (the song this fic is based off of) is from :D

15: What did you learn from writing this fic? 

i’ve learned a lot about perseverance T_T i hit a point a few weeks ago where i was seriously considering dropping this idea for a while (for lots of reasons not wholly related to the story itself, but still). i’ve been stuck on it for a while and keep worrying i’m not gonna be able to tie it all together, but it’s a story i really want to tell, and convincing myself to finish it solely for that reason has helped me find a bit more joy in actually working on it (even if i am regularly banging my head on my keyboard trying to get from point a to point b)

AHHHHHH apologies for it being so long, but thank you so much for the questions Vee!! i loved getting to answer them :] 💜💜💜

[carrickbender]

7

1. I'm sitting here drinking coffee, but I should be doing chores. It's a nice day, bug wants to do stuff later, there's email to catch up on... so yeah, do weeks really end?

2. Friday night was fantastic: got off work, listened to my mothers epic complaining while I took the flat tire off of her old suv, lost my phone, took it to town to be fixed only to find my phone on the bumper(IT WENT 10 MILES ON THE BUMPER AT 65+ MPH TO TOWN!!!!! PRAISE ALL THE GODS IT STAYED!!!!), got the tire fixed and back on the car in a very bad spot, went home, buggy got sick and I had to clean up his #2 mess<poor guy>, and I slept on the couch because sleeping is awful in a bed anymore. Great start, huh?

3. My current shame storm is making a hurricane look like a passing shower. No matter what I do, what I accomplish, how hard I try, it's just not enough. It's a stupid thing, and no matter how much I try to do the affirmations, they aren't working. #backtosquareone

4. I have a drs appointment tomorrow, and I'm dreading it. I've gained 5 lbs(or so my messed up scale says), but my pants fit better, so I dunno. Plus, there's the pain in other places thanks to fluid build up. Just another fun thing that's happened since I had bypass surgery. #insulttoinjury

5. I think after a certain age you should be able to trade certain things that still work on your body for things that would be more useful. For example, I'd gladly trade my still working sex drive for the ability to thrive on 3-4 hours a night of sleep. That way I could trade one useless thing for a useful thing. Pardon me for being slightly bitter. Im just over it. To be honest I wish I was working the 60-70 hour a week schedule and going to school like I was before. At least then I wouldn't think about it as much. #thanksihateit

6. My former employer is having a big meeting w/investors and politicians on the 25th, and theres rumours it might start back up. So im sending the HR manager my updated resume, and starting the conversation about a shift supervisor position. To be honest, I'd kill for it, and it would keep me on career trajectory. Fingers crossed.... I love my new job but I can't afford to work there.

7. I'm sorry to be such a negative person but I'm kinda reaching a hard spot in my journey. I have no real time to stop and process because if I did I think it would derail part of the rebuilding process for my life I started a few years ago. Part of that rebuilding process was prioritizing financial security, so even considering all the other stuff has to take a backseat... but how to do it when you're a novice at self care and are trying to reprogram your already f'ed up brain is another thing entirely. Bono wrote it best in the song Cedars of Lebanon: "The worst of us are a long drawn out confession; The best of us are geniuses of compression.You say you're not going to leave the truth alone.I'm here 'cause I don't want to go home".

Thanks for letting me vent. This week will be better... I think. Much love!