resolvedbrunette

[resolvedbrunette]

kay waiting mode AGAIn. lovely

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forgot this was a new computer GUESS WHO GETS TO INSTALL A PRINTER DRIVER AGAIN FUUCKKKK

[resolvedbrunette]

Everyone in this school lives on 3-6 hours of sleep a night, iced coffee and energy drinks, ramen and salad, has terrible hygiene, gets straight As and occupies some sort of organization leadership position, and still somehow I’m the one that gets sick twice in a month.

[resolvedbrunette]

This rebellious old thing in my chest needs to learn how to stop hurting

[resolvedbrunette]

I can feel my heart lysing into a million pieces again. I’m getting pho to hopefully glue something of me back together.

[resolvedbrunette]

downloading dating app just for the fun of it (don't have the emotional bandwidth to date right now since apparently I have all the reciprocity of a branch off a tree)

[resolvedbrunette]

Woke up about 5 minutes ago stressed and ready for my 8am… in 26 hours. So I’m up, now.

[resolvedbrunette]

Superman (1978) and the Female Gaze

In honor of Superman’s 85th birthday, I got to see the 1978 movie in theaters (!!!) and I realized how much it appeals to the female gaze, which I would NOT have expected for a male-led superhero movie from the 70s.

To elaborate:

I’ve always cringed a little at Lois’ cheesy voiceover during the flying sequence, but I realized it’s actually a whole scene from Lois’ perspective. It gets in her head and explores her thoughts and feelings. It doesn’t portray her as “Superman’s girlfriend��� from his perspective, focused on his viewpoint. The entire scene is Superman from Lois’ perspective.

Even the cinematography (especially in that scene but also throughout the movie) caters to the female gaze. There’s so much focus on their hands — Lois and Superman holding hands, Superman gently cradling her face, etc. There’s a focus on eye contact, on body language. Superman’s muscles aren’t emphasized — instead the camera lingers on his eyes and his smile. Through the visuals, both leads are very humanized instead of gratuitously sexualized like many superhero movies ever since.

Also, Christopher Reeve’s Superman emerges as such an unexpected example of positive masculinity. In the late 70s, Family Feud’s host was kissing every female contestant on his show, consent be damned. ERA and the feminist movement were losing ground to the New Right. The macho male hero was already a staple thanks to characters like James Bond and advertising campaigns like the Marlboro Man. Men Were Manly.

In contrast, while Superman is held up as a quintessential “manly male protagonist” admired by many, he very pointedly does not fall into the action hero male power fantasy stereotype of “I’m a tough macho man who affirms my masculinity by harassing and sleeping with lots of women and who expresses emotions by hitting things and yelling at people. Wow look at me punch things and shoot guns! I’m so strong!” Instead, he’s always gentle. He smiles brightly, he laughs, he cracks jokes, he waves as he flies off. He’s a huge guy, but he’s not intimidating unless he wants to be because he’s just so kind and down-to-earth. He’s much more in line with a stereotypically feminine fantasy of a “kind, respectful, warm guy who makes me laugh” rather than the male power fantasy more common in this genre.

There’s also the way female characters are treated. Lois is Superman’s love interest, but she’s also more than that. She’s her own character with her own voice. She’s a tough, snarky, take-charge, no-nonsense, competent career woman who goes after what she wants fiercely. She grouches and rants with her signature attitude, and Clark just stands there smiling at her because he thinks she’s amazing exactly as she is. It’s the fantasy of an independent woman with traditionally “unfeminine” traits who’s loved and celebrated for being herself. Clark doesn’t want to tame her — he adores her and supports her.

In addition, Miss Teschmacher is stereotyped as the villain’s “sexy but a bit dumb” girlfriend/sidekick, yet she’s still allowed some depth. Superman’s treatment of her stood out to me because this woman has helped Luthor endanger innocent people and nearly kill Superman himself, yet he’s still kind and respectful toward her. Because he always treats women like that, no matter who they are or what they’ve done to him. She wistfully says “Why can’t I ever get it on with a good guy?” instead of a toxic one, and he touches her face tenderly and gives her a reassuring smile. He has compassion for her, as well as hope that her life will improve.

There’s also the climax. There really isn’t much violence (it’s all natural disaster stuff). The whole “hero does something dramatic to save his love interest” is a time-honored action movie cliche, but this feels different somehow. It feels more like the climax of a romance movie than an action movie in some ways. Maybe it is, again, the focus on tenderness. On the way Superman cradles Lois’ dead body so gently and then cries. On the way he allows himself to feel, to express his emotions, instead of heading out to punch something as an outlet for his grief. Lois isn’t a love interest to be won — she’s a person to be cherished, which is 100% consistent with the female gaze.

Just, 👏 THE FEMALE GAZE AND POSITIVE MASCULINITY Y’ALL 👏

[resolvedbrunette]

Christopher Reeve ⭐️

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OH BINGO I GOT ACTION

(a m so tired now it took me so long to get up)

I want male attention

Physically

A little sexually but mostly just physically

[resolvedbrunette]

I want male attention

Physically

A little sexually but mostly just physically

[resolvedbrunette]

Unless, of course, all the [Christian; non-Jewish] people quoting Deuteronomy 18 at Christian witches are also ones that abstain from pork and shellfish, like in Deuteronomy 14. Something tells me that isn't the case, though. Something tells me that the same Christians that throw one chapter of Deuteronomy at me and my own are more than happy to ignore the many other parts that would apply to them when it comes time to order that Baconator at Wendy's—more than happy to split hairs about "moral" and "ritual" and "legal" law, as if there was ever a real difference between those to the Israelites they want so desperately to emulate (when it's convenient and shiny and fun).

from https://www.sararaztresen.com/post/what-does-deuteronomy-18-10-12-mean-to-a-christian-witch-theological-discussion-and-exegesis

my own emphasis/formatting added.

[resolvedbrunette]

gotta invest in press on fake nails or something. need to keep my natural nails short for labor purposes for the time being, but holy mother of pearl, simply the

[dysphoria/dysmorphia/depersonalization/dissociation]

of "these are not my hands, these hands do not belong to me" is coming around again. and I thought that they were still long enough for me to be comfortable while still preventing them from breakage, but it's really just horrible right now.

[resolvedbrunette]

Just saw a black girl with the prettiest skin color and the 30 inch bussdown hd lace 😔

[resolvedbrunette]

I hate how nervous opening my bank account makes me. I hate how broke I feel. I hate how alternatingly stingy and generous I am. I hate how much everything costs, in time, money, and bodily and mental strain. Everything costs, and nothing gives back. I don't even want to live in this world. I did not ask to be born and suffer economically in a machine that only exists to crush me into an image of itself instead of my Creator. Why did God let me be born here? Why am I supposed to be a light, and still He is letting it suffocate?

[resolvedbrunette]

Picked up Crazy Rich Asians from the library. The 3/4 page-long gossip line description is hilarious (and somehow realistic). I love this.

[resolvedbrunette]

man, trying to find a good romance out here is nothing short of a herculean task. please just give me a non ambitious, hardworking, middle-of-the-road male main character and a kind female main character. give me the everyday romances, where the drama is what they face together out in the world.