#sheshopeless

[bulkyphrase]

Comfort Podfic Rec List

It's been a while since my last podfic-specific rec list, and with that lore.fm nonsense it seems like an especially good time to highlight the wonderful work that podficcers do!

These are some of the podfics I rely on to cheer me up. They're all sweet, fluffy or funny, and relatively short.

but hey, you're all right read by sisi-rambles (Stucky, 30-45 Minutes, Teen And Up Audiences)

Summary: 'This is not my fault,' Tony lies. 'It was supposed to be a joke! Christ.' 'Thanks to your joke,' says Coulson, 'we now have a code three-four-delta, with the variable being a Russian immigrant. We're checking his background right now, but it might take a while. Meanwhile, I suggest you civilian-proof the Tower. If any SHIELD intelligence is compromised, I will hurt you.' Yes, this is the story where the Winter Soldier is a Russian mail-order bride. Everything goes about as well as you'd expect. Based on the story by beardsley

Baby Steve Adventures read by blackglass (Gen, 20-30 Minutes, General Audiences)

Summary: Captain America gets hit by a spell during a battle. The rest of the Avengers look after him. Based on the story by catty_the_spy (@cattythespy)

The Devil and the Wild Man read by Tipsy_Kitty (@tipsyxkitty) (Loki/Steve Rogers, 1-1.5 Hours, Mature)

Summary: Steve's dinosaur keeps Loki in line on Sakaar. This is not a euphemism, but it is also 100% a euphemism. Based on the story by Effing (@effingunicorns)

More below the cut!

Right In Front of Your Face read by sisi-rambles (Clint Barton/Phil Coulson, 10-20 Minutes, General Audiences)

Summary: Phil and Clint get engaged and go out together to spread the news. but everyone is just shocked to hear they're together. Based on the story by @ereshai

Mixed Ages Classroom read by blackglass (Gen, 30-45 Minutes, Not Rated)

Summary: For this prompt, where the Avengers are de-aged, but to different ages: Clint & Tony to young children (below 10), Bruce to a toddler (whose tantrums involve hulking out to bb!hulk), Natasha & Steve back to teenagers (with scrawny!Steve). In which Hulk is a baby, Natasha and Steve know they aren't real teenagers, Clint and Tony behave badly, and Maria Hill is not a parent but Coulson might be. Based on the story by harcourt (@haforcere)

Protocol 1985 read by sisi-rambles (Gen, 30-45 Minutes, General Audiences)

Summary: “Holy crow, it worked,” someone says. Wherein Clint and Natasha meet Howard and Peggy. Based on the story by hollimichele (@nonasuch)

Fair Shot read by hopelesse (@sheshopelesse) (Stony, 20-30 Minutes, Mature)

Summary: Captain Rogers leaps from the helicopter like a gymnast on the dismount. All the lines of his body are controlled. Perfect. The iconic round shield lies flat across his back. “How does he fit a parachute under that?” I ask. “He doesn’t,” Stark answers. “Marvelous adrenaline junkie, our Cap. Likes to almost break his ankles every time. Makes him feel like a man.” Front Line reporter Ben Urich spends a mission embedded with Tony Stark and Captain Steve Rogers on an Ultimates mission. Based on the story by @isozyme

Dad's Got Skeletons read by sisi-rambles (Steve Rogers/Howard Stark (maybe?), 20-30 Minutes, Teen And Up Audiences)

Summary: “To think he became a dad—your dad. A daddy.” He looked up sharply and saw that Steve’s smile had twisted a little bit, pulled up at one corner like a smirk, except no, Captain America did not smirk. “You know, it’s funny. I called him daddy once too.” Based on the story by kehinki

Sam Wilson: Ghost Hunter read by sisi-rambles (Samsteve, 0-10 Minutes, General Audiences)

Summary: Sam's stuck in a horror movie cliche. Based on the story by kehinki

(the kitten invasion fleet has arrived) read by blackglass (Gen, 0-10 Minutes, General Audiences)

Summary: what if the first contact with nonhuman life forms comes about in a different way? Based on the story by @labelleizzy

someone’s gonna pay for this read by sisi-rambles (Gen, 0-10 Minutes, General Audiences)

Summary: Steve as a cat. Based on the story by @lazulisong

Groundwater read by blackglass (Darcy Lewis/Steve Rogers, 30-45 Minutes, Teen And Up Audiences)

Summary: Okay, she thinks, in a zen-like state of calm: given a chump assignment, she not only managed to fall in a well, she somehow dragged Captain America--living legend, supersoldier, level 7 SHIELD consultant, and Avenger--down with her. This means two things: 1) Captain America knows who she is now, and thinks she’s a dumbass, and 2) SHIELD is probably going to make her disappear as punishment (likely by throwing her in another, deeper well and pretending she never existed). “Don’t mind me,” she says faintly. “I’m just gonna drown myself now.” Based on the story by @legete

Dear Clint Barton (Circa Age 7) read by RsCreighton (@rosecreighton) (Gen, 20-30 Minutes, Teen And Up Audiences)

Summary: The most annoying parts of being de-aged (and then re-aged) are your friends. Based on the story by @pollyrepeat

Situation Normal read by quietnight (@quietnighty) (Stucky, 20-30 Minutes, Mature)

Summary: AU wherein Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers never met, Steve somehow manages to rescue the Winter Soldier anyway, and Avengers Tower ends up with the world’s angriest duckling and a whole new brand of entertainment. - (“He was dragging him out of the river,” Natasha argues later. “Nat, be honest, he was going for the Full Monty.” Says Clint. “I’m pretty sure we interrupted him in the middle of giving ‘emergency CPR’,” Tony agrees, “Or the stage after emergency CPR. Emergency Dick? Is that a thing?” “That’s not a thing,” Natasha and Clint reply.) Based on the story by redcigar

How Steve Rogers Singlehandedly Lost the Cold War read by quietnight (@quietnighty) (Stucky, 20-30 Minutes, Mature)

Note: This is a sequel/companion to the previous fic, Situation Normal.

Summary: AU wherein Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes never met, but the Winter Soldier takes an interest in Captain America anyway, and has an odd way of showing it. -- (On the helicarrier, hurrying to reach the central hub of the third aircraft in time, the chip clenched in his gloved fist, Steve turns to find a ghost blocking his path, and is abruptly reminded on what the road to hell is paved with.) Based on the story by redcigar

Get Some Now read by where_thewind_blows (@flowersthroughthecracks) (Stony, 1-1.5 Hours, Teen And Up Audiences)

Summary: Avengers Mansion has a mysterious feline infestation. Meanwhile, Steve just can't figure out how to ask Tony out on a date. And the thirteen teleporting cats sure aren't helping matters any. Based on the story by @sineala

Mercy in You by Sineala read by Pywren (@phyrrhicvictory) (Stony, 1-1.5 Hours, Mature)

Summary: When Tony comes back from a very bad D/s date, in pain and abandoned by his dom, Steve offers to help Tony out and give him all the aftercare he so desperately needs. Based on the story by @sineala

To Keep the Home Fires Burning read by blackglass (Maria Hill/Natasha Romanov, 30-45 Minutes, Teen And Up Audiences)

Summary: Maria does three tours of cat sitting duty before she and Romanoff come to be on a first name basis. She claims a whole shelf in the pantry and sneaks in two more cat mugs too. Based on the story by Woad

[cowboyhorsegirl]

Not My First Rodeo (An 1872 SteveTony Fic Reclist🤠💫)

This reclist is a fill for the @stevetonygames bingo square "Consequence" and the Resolutions Challenge for Team Future :)

a slow ticking wilderness by @starvels (2.4k, M)

Three weeks ago, Tony burned his hands in his forge. Since then, he's been unable to use them, useless and listless. Relying on the kindness of strangers ain't exactly his expertise. Luckily, Sheriff Steve Rogers has good hands and a heart hale enough to keep offering bits of help and hope to Tony, no matter that he ain't all that good at accepting them.

RATING: Five out of five heart-happy cowboys, 🤠🤠🤠🤠🤠

What if I told you this was literally the first (The First!!!) 1872 fic I ever read, which may have been a mistake on my part because it simply set the bar too high, devastatingly high, stratospherically high! This fic feels like wrapping yourself up in a warm blanket fresh out of the dryer while you sit by a beautiful, roaring fire and drink a delicious cup of spiced hot cocoa. Please fulfill all your wildest h/c dreams and desires in the embrace of this lovely window into established relationship 1872 stevetony.

To Break the Bridle by @deervsheadlights (25k, M)

If anyone had told Tony a year ago that he would be herding cattle up on some god-forsaken mountain, in deep winter and out of his own free will, he would've laughed in their face. Were they to show him the blond and blue-eyed reason for his sudden lapse of judgement, however, he might've just understood.

RATING: Two cowboys who are frequently secretly very fond of each other + a new appreciation for the pavlovian potential of duck fat, 🤠🤠🦆

Everyone gather round and say thank you deervsheadlights!! Thank you deer for writing the 1872 Brokeback Mountain AU that we have all been begging for since the moment 1872 comics hit the shelves! This fic was another early 1872 find for me and I simply cannot recommend it enough: the slow burn, the hurt comfort, the romance-this fic does it all masterfully.

but come ye back by @s-hylor (1.2k, T)

When the night is cold and the sky is open, Tony goes to talk to the past Sheriff of Timely.

RATING: one broken cowpoke's heart, but the hurt is tempered by the knowledge that the love perseveres on, 💔

If you have yet to heal from the hurt of 1872 Issue 2, then this is the fic for you. This fic is the best deconstruction of emotion following the Sheriff's death that I have read yet, savage in both it's sadness and it catharsis, and I cannot recommend this highly enough.

A Handsome Stranger Called Death by @isozyme & @sheshopelesse (3.5k, M)

Steve Rogers was an optimist, and he had no sense for the limits of one man with a six-shooter and a strong will, but he was canny enough to know that he wasn’t getting any good done as pig food.

RATING: 10/10 shakes of a rattler's tail 🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍🐍

Close your eyes and imagine a story that combines Western gothic and desert mysticism and monsterfucking and domestic bliss and now open your eyes bc that fic exists and you're looking at it! The prose is gorgeous, the mythology is arresting, and the characterization is stunning. Plus! This fic comes complete with its own podfic, ready for your joint reading & listening pleasures.

Somebody's Darling by @laireshi (12.9k, T)

Steve wasn't always a sheriff, and Tony didn't always spend his days halfway down a bottle. They met long before Timely.

RATING: the best 1872 rom-com of all time, if rom-com was short for Romantic-Commentary on the Inherent Despondency of War

This fic!!!!!! Is wonderful and delivers a years-long sweeping arc of a wartime romance before dropping you off at the front door of 1872 canon. It's such a heartfelt exploration of love blooming amidst the chaos and tragedy of war, of the way two people keep getting drawn back to each other again and again, of second chances and third chances and fourth, all culminating in a freedom both precarious and precious to be found in the West.

The Strangers You Call Friends by Mireille (1.4k, T)

Stark frustrates Sheriff Rogers, but that doesn't mean he wants to see the man drink himself to death. Timely needs a blacksmith, after all.

RATING: two out of two prettiest blue eyes this side of the Mississippi, at least according to the cowboy locked in the Sheriff's cell for tonight 👀

An incredible pre-canon character study from the POV of Timely's favorite Sheriff. I feel as though this fic is so true to canon characterization and setting that it could honestly constitute the first page of an 1872 novelization. You really sink into Steve's mindset and his perspective on not just Tony's perennial drunkenness, but on his duties to the town as a whole.

Say My Name by citsiurtlanu (2.6k, G)

Steve reminds Tony that there's more to him than the war his weapons were used in.

RATING: a whole cowtown who has been irrevocably changed for the better by the love of two men, 🤠💞🫡🤠💞🫡🤠💞🫡🤠💞🫡

A beautiful canon-compliant fic that pulls at the thread of romance hidden in the rough, vibrant fabric of 1872. There's so much tenderness in this story, it aches in the best way :')

Paradise Blue in 1872 by @cowboyhorsegirl (oh hey that's me!) (500w, T)

Steve imagines this is what it feels like to commit blasphemy, looking at Tony Stark.

RATING: Sheriff Rogers' extremely Catholic-coded erection 🤨🤨

It's about!! the wretched devotion of love, the purgatory of the West, the discovery of a new God in the listless eyes of the saloon's resident patron! A bite-sized character & relationship study that slots itself very neatly within the first 5 pages of 1872 Issue 1 that I hope you read & enjoy :)

whistling dixie by @starvels (1.4k, M)

“Well,” Steve says, voice rough. He takes in another of those sharp breaths and when he exhales, Tony feels it like the forge, billowing heat out into his chest. “Mayhap you best keep that dry, Stark.” He sounds like molten metal, like the best slather of butter over a butt of bread, sounds fair peckish for something more than trail gruel and he’s looking at Tony like Tony’s the place he’s gonna get it. Yes, Tony thinks. It is. Take it. Take me.

RATING: one cowboy (me) who is so, so hungry for stew now 🤠🍲

A masterclass in the 'Food as a Metaphor for Love' ao3 tag, I recommend to all who are hungry for a bit of domestic Western romance or a hearty desert stew. At least one of these appetites will be satisfied by the end of the story, I guarantee!

Blacksmith's Hands by @everybodyilovedies (3.3k, E)

Based in Marvel's 1872 Western Universe, where Tony is a blacksmith and Steve is the town Sheriff. Blacksmith Tony hears Sheriff Steve's birth date is coming up, and decides to give him the present he deserves.

RATING: the number one best birthday present Sheriff Rogers has ever received 🤠🎁

The sweetest, tenderest and yet slightly rough around the edges 1872 PWP you will ever see. I adore Steve and Tony's banter in this fic, the dialogue at the beginning feels like it could have been ripped right out of the comic book panels. And!! There is simply nothing more delightful than the simple intimacy of going from "Stark" and "Sheriff" to "Tony" and "Steve" <3

Unseen, Unheard by @oluka (1k, M)

Tony and Steve have a furtive encounter. Tony wishes they could have more.

RATING: a Sheriff rougher to ride and wilder to tame than a stallion🐎

I could scream forever!!! about the parallels in this story between Tony's alcoholism and his addiction to Steve! The tug-of-war push and pull of their facsimile of a relationship, the hurt that Steve's internal shame over wanting a man inflicts on both him and Tony, the habitual way that Tony debases himself to play up the drunken act and protect him and Steve from any prying eyes. This fic does a truly masterful job of imagining what intimate encounters between Steve and Tony may have looked like within the real confines of the American West.

Going Blacksmithing by @bladeofthenebula27 (1.5k, T)

Blacksmithing only brings in so much money in a small town like Timely, so Tony has to make a little extra money through less respectable means. The Sheriff doesn't approve.

RATING: the prettiest cowpoke you ever did see 🥰🤠

Genderfuck!Tony with a side of possessive Steve all in the year of 1872, what more could one possibly want? There's absolutely nothing more that I love across the multiverse than SteveTony getting to explore their femininity, and this fic brings that dynamic to 1872 absolutely perfectly! :D

BONUS!!!

1872 Meta/Propaganda by @ghosthan

RATING: one out of one new, lifelong 1872 fan (me! 🤠)

An INCREDIBLE primer on the 1872-niverse, including panel screenshots as well as comparisons to 616 characterizations and backstories! I can personally say that this 1872 propaganda is extremely effective (after all, it convinced me to read!!), and gives you juuuust enough information on 1872 to acquaint you with the setting, the characters, and the dynamics at play without simply spoiling the series. In my opinion, this is a highly underrated resource for anyone interested in trying 1872 out, but unsure what to expect.

[kitnita]

joel farabee, the world's first toothless vampire (originally for @sheshopelesse)

[vonahalv]

The Debriefing

((Following the conclusion to the “Mystery” series, Anjewel continues to make use of her bad luck/good luck karma and attends a debriefing with the Uncrowned.))

I shouldn’t be so nervous. It’s not as if I haven’t done this before.  Anjewel kept trying to talk her knees out of knocking and her stomach from dropping as she stood.  I hate public speaking.

She stood in a room underneath Dalaran, in front of a table surrounded by five chairs. Candles burned in their holders and torches danced on the walls.  One by one they walked in and took their places around the table. As they did so, she was given leave to sit herself, and she gratefully took a seat.  They had allowed her to delay her report due to her injury, and while she could now get around, the ankle was still a little sore.

“Make your report Anjewel.”  The voice came from an elderly man at the head of the table. Today he was dressed in gray with blue piping, and his gray hair was pulled back.  

“Yes Lord Ravenholdt.”  Clearing her throat and taking a moment to focus herself, she began.

“You see, I was out on a walk,” she paused as some collective groans moved through the table, “when I saw Finn entering the Slaughtered Lamb.  I’ve known Finn for years and this was out of character for him.  I kept my position on the roof,” and paused for another round of groans and chitters,” and waited for him to leave.  He came out with a large coin pouch hooked to his belt, one he did not have before.”

She swallowed hard, bracing herself for the embarrassment she knew was coming.  “Then I fell from the roof.”

“You what?!” Tess Greymane had half left her seat before forcing herself to sit back down.  “First, openly walking on rooftops and then you fall from them?”  All Anjewel could offer in her defense was a small shrug.

“It worked out though,” and she heard a chuckle from somewhere in the room. “The distraction I caused gave me a chance to look around while people were busy gawking.  I saw a draenei leave the Slaughtered Lamb and made note to investigate that later.  Later came sooner than expected, as he turned out to be working in one of our own facilities.  He was the doctor on shift when I arrived to have my ankle mended.”

Anjewel paused to take a look around and noted concern on several of their faces.  “I had mostly faked my injury to cause Finn to believe I was as clumsy as he thought, so I took the time fate offered me to question the doctor instead of receiving treatment.  He stated he was a middle man, that he and Finn had been working to undermine the First Warlock of the Black Harvest and that the number of people missing were their responsibility.  They wanted to pin the murders on Va.. on the First Warlock and weaken her power here in Dalaran, possibly to remove her from her position.”

“And how is your sister?”  This time the voice came from Taoshi, a nimble Pandaren who sat to the left of Tess.

Anjewel smiled in her direction. “She is well, Taoshi, thank you.  I have noted the eyes you have on her and am pleased to see she remains safe.” Her gaze returned to meet the eyes of Lord Ravenholdt.  

“He attempted to attack me, and though I realized the potential loss of information, I had no choice but to kill him.  From there you know the rest.  Evette and John assisted in cleanup. We dispatched a message to the First Warlock. I wanted her to leave Dalaran and to come where I could keep eyes on her.  She stayed with me during my rehabilitation. During that time Finn went missing.  I still have no idea how or why, especially as he still believed me to be in love with him.  I can only surmise that perhaps the death of his employer scared someone who took the time to remove the other piece of the puzzle.”

Her debriefing complete, Anjewel waited in silence as those at the table considered both her words and actions. 

“I still can’t believe you fell from the roof.”  Tess sat before her, exasperated. “We know you have a way of stumbling into situations of import, but must you ~always~ ~literally~ stumble into them? By the gods Black.”  Anjewel worked to suppress a grin and instead looked at her hands currently folded into her lap.  “I regret that I’ve never quite lived up to expectations.  I’ve the heart and mind of my father, and the reflexes of… well... “  No one in the room questioned why she trailed off, the memory of her father known to everyone sitting around the table.  

Anjewel’s father, known simply as Black to his friends in the business, had taught her from a young age.  She eagerly absorbed his knowledge and dreamt of the day she would wear leather, sneak around in the dark, get paid to eavesdrop and spread disinformation throughout the night.  It didn’t turn out quite as she dreamt, but she still loved this line of work and attempted to honor him every day. 

Lord Ravenholdt spoke up, “No. You don’t. Yet you consistently bring us information of import as he did. He would be proud of you. No one expects it of you Anjewel, which is why you’re so integral to our plans. Stop fighting who you are, or who you thought he’d want you to be.  Play the fool for the world and undermine our enemies at the same time.  You earned your place here when you retrieved those Fangs.  Hold onto them any time you question yourself.”

Anjewel allowed herself to look up and meet his gaze.  The intensity in his eyes never ceased to frighten her, though she also felt oddly comforted at the same time.  “I will not forget your words m’Lord. And thank you.  I’ve lost everyone but Valdis now.  I will attempt to stumble my way into keeping her safe then, if I can, and with your permission.”

“We will discuss next steps.  You are dismissed for now.  Stay close, we will call for you soon.”

[cowboyhorsegirl]

👍🏽

Just this week I read & bookmarked A Handsome Stranger Called Death written by @isozyme & read by @sheshopelesse, which I would highly, highly recommend!! It's such fantastic, fascinating fiction, and it's basically 1872 if 1872 was Southern Gothic lit with a twist of desert mythology and a shot of vampires.

Send me fic rec asks! :)

[vonahalv]

The Mystery (Part 4/4)

Later That Day in the Sewers Underneath Dalaran

“Mistress Valdis.  A messenger for you.  Her name is Evette and states she has a direct message from your sister.”

Warily, Valdis looked up from a scroll she had been perusing.  What has happened now? She knows better than to call on me at work.  I’ll never get this spell to work if I keep getting interrupted.

“Bring her in.”  

Evette walked into Valdis’ chambers, and Valdis noticed that Evette took it in stride. Not many did.  Valdis’ walls were covered in torches burning green flame, skulls were used as book holders, and an imp whimpered in the corner, clearly unhappy to be here.  “Who are you and how did you find me?”

Evette curtsied and replied, “I am with the Uncrowned. The Black Harvest are not unknown to us, Netherlord.”  Presenting the letter, Evette stated, “The Ruby misses the Sapphire. I am expected to take and deliver your reply immediately.”

Valdis’ eyes widened.  Anjewel has never played this card before. “Wait here. I will read this and craft a reply directly.  Can I get you anything?”

“Nothing Netherlord, save your speedy reply.  Miss Anjewel is terribly hurt and eagerly awaits your news.”

Valdis rushed to her desk and cut open the letter.  As she read, Evette took a moment to look her over.  They could be twins, save that I know Anjewel is the younger sister.  Where her hair is auburn, Valdis’ is jet black and she favors more colorful makeup. Aside from that they could nearly pass for one another. I will make a report of this. It may be useful should the Netherlord need help from the Uncrowned. 

A letter was being pushed roughly into her hands and Evette snapped out of her thoughts.

“Go. NOW. I am preparing everything needed and will follow you by half an hour. Is she resting at home?”  Evette nodded, “Yes Netherlord.  We have taken care of her.  Finn escorted her home, but we had eyes on the way.  They are with her now and she is safe.  Just as you will be upon your arrival.”

Evening - Old Town District. The Window Outside of Anjewel’s Home

It was low, but it was there.  Thankfully Finn seemed not to notice.  He was stoking the fire and taking several long deep breaths.  “Finn. Would you mind? I’m terribly thirsty. The pain medication is giving me a bit of dry mouth.  Would you mind fetching me water? I’m not able to drink until this medicinal treatment is done.”

He turned, doing his best to smile, “Yes, absolutely.  I’ll be back shortly.”

The moment he left her window opened and Evette entered.  “As you requested Miss Black. Her response. She will follow my arrival by about half an hour.”  And with that, Evette turned and left, closing the window behind her.

“My dearest Ruby,

WHO WAS IT? ARE THEY DEAD? IF NOT, CAN I KILL THEM?  Why am I asking you here?  Of course you can have my company for a few weeks. I am dropping everything now and prepping the ingredients I need to bake for you.  I had not yet time to reply, but I did read your letter and look forward to talking about anything other than boys.  

Love,

Emerald”

Anjewel sighed in relief.  Valdis was still Valdis, so that much was good.  Perhaps she would have some ideas on what to do with Finn.  Anjewel wanted him to suffer for the lives he took, but so much evidence pointed to Valdis.  So much that I nearly believed it. Or did believe it. Or wasn’t surprised enough to disbelieve it.

Caught up in her ruminations, Anjewel hadn’t realized how much time had gone by.  The next she knew, she heard Valdis’ voice downstairs.  “You WILL step aside. I don’t care who you are. Where is my sister?”  Anjewel couldn’t make out Finn’s reply, but didn’t need to.  A familiar noise of heels on wood rose from the staircase and Valdis broke into Anjewel’s room.

Valdis took in the room:  Anjewel’s ankle was propped up on pillows, an empty water glass by the table, a fire that looked about to go out, and a smiling sister whose grin said, “I’m sorry, I may have overstated how injured I was.”

Rushing to her side, Valdis laid on the bedside, wrapping her arms around her sister.  “I missed you too Anj. I’d have overstated an injury to see you too.  I’m sorry I haven’t had enough time.”  Anjewel heard her voice grow cold as she continued, “I brought everything I need for cookies.  Why don’t we have a chat about just how you want them baked?”

Anjewel laughed and hugged her sister.  In a whisper she replied, “He is downstairs. I cannot talk freely until he leaves. Would you mind sending him home? I’ve been stuck with him since early afternoon.  And check my side table by the couch on your way up.  If anything is still on it.”

Valdis rose and smoothed her gown.  As she left the room she turned and said, “I’m surprised you’re asking for my cooking.”

It was several minutes before Valdis returned.  In her hand she held a glass of water and some burned papers. Anjewel just nodded.  “I expected that the moment he saw you walk in the door and come upstairs. Was there much left?”  She gratefully took the water offered and sipped slowly.

“There was enough.  Is this why you wrote to me? You were frightened I am killing off the boys who hurt you?”  Anjewel looked away, ashamed.  “He made it seem so… and you are so… and the cookies, the jokes…”

Valdis chuckled.  “Well, the cookies are real, and I did kill a couple.  But only the ones who REALLY hurt you. Like, the soul sucking, you were crying for months kind of hurt.”  Like the one who hurt me when she took Emmy.  “Can you prove it’s him?”

Anjewel walked Valdis through the day's events and the confession of the doctor.  “It’s him, Valdis. And I can’t cover up another one so close.  We have…. Procedures.  And this is really kind of … um… your kind of problem now isn’t it?  I took care of your guy - sort of.  So. You know.  Cookies.  We just need to find out who paid off the doctor.  But not today.  After all, I’ve a broken ankle.”  

Valdis brushed Anjewel’s hair back and adjusted her blankets.  Soon, Anjewel felt her energy start to fade and her eyes droop.  Looking at her now empty glass she said, “Valdis - I’m feeling sleepy all of a sudden.  What did you do?”  

Valdis’ eyes narrowed.  “Nothing love. Just gave you some water.  Rest well.  In the morning we’ll have coffee and cookies for breakfast.”

[vonahalv]

The Mystery (part 3/?)

Later that same day...

“Jewel.  JEWEL.  I can’t get the door and carry you.  Open it for me.”  Coming out of her reverie, Anjewel apologized.  “I’m so sorry Finn! It must be the pain. I was lost in just trying to stay awake.  I hear that when you’re dreadfully hurt you shouldn’t fall asleep.”  As she was offering up this explanation, she opened the door and took in her surroundings while Finn walked her in.

He sat her gently on a chair and went to the check in counter.  Finn was speaking low, but she heard snippets of the conversation, including a note that the doctor was out for lunch and would be back soon.

The door opened again and Anjewel took a look to her left.  She felt the look of shock on her face and worked quickly to turn it into one of pain.  It’s HIM.  How terribly lucky.  I hope to never tire of saying that. It’s the only way I can stay in this line of work.  He walked past Finn and nodded to the receptionist.  The draenei is good. He showed no acknowledgement of knowing Finn, and Finn is oblivious right now.  Interesting.   Just then she heard Finn gasp.  “My gold pouch!  Jewel, I was going to cover this, but … well… I just had it.  Do you think someone in the crowd?  This is horrible!”

“It’s ok Finn.  I can handle it.  She looked past him to the receptionist and held up a coin.  “Why don’t you go see if you can find it? We haven’t been gone long, and I’m certain a good citizen has held onto it for you.  I can manage now.”  He nodded, replying, “Yes. That’s a good plan. I’ll be back for you soon.”  After Finn left, Anjewel stood and limped around the office looking at the paintings on the wall. 

It didn't take long for the receptionist to call her and Anjewel made her way to the indicated door down the hallway. Working to keep up the charade, Anjewel limped slowly placing her hands along the wall. Occasionally she would hit the wall just a little too loud, listening at the same time to see if there were hollow noises coming from the wall. She opened the door that had been indicated and saw the draenei sitting behind a desk.  He motioned to an examination table and moved to meet her there.

Anjewel closed and locked the door behind her.

The moment he got up from his chair and walked away from the desk, Anjewel was behind him.  She had pulled her daggers from behind her back, and she now had one touching his lower back, Is this where the kidneys are? I should remember…. and another held to his throat. 

“Two things, Doctor.  I’m not hurt.  And if you tell me the truth, you won’t be either.  I saw you exit from the Slaughtered Lamb.  I assume you hold a measure of power.  I’m holding the Fangs of the Devourer.  Fangs I took from Akaari Shadowgore.  Do you think you’re more powerful than Akaari Shadowgore?”

She felt him swallow as his tendrils pushed against the dagger in her hand.  “I’m just a middle man.  I hold the meetings because the Master cannot come to Stormwind. No one knows who I am, and I know only how to play a part.  My business is not doing well since the Uncrowned began taking a cut, and I’m working to supplement my income.”

She pushed the dagger against him a bit more, drawing some blood from his back.  “The meeting today with the man who brought me in. I want to know.”

Beads of sweat began to pour down his face, and yet she noticed his body wasn’t as tense as it should have been had he really been frightened.  “He was tasked by the Master to remove a support beam for the First within the Black Harvest.  For years he has been a friend to her sister and agreed to separate her.  I believe he’s been killing her ex-boyfriends and blaming the First, all in an effort to breed distrust.  He confirmed today it was done, and thus received his payment. He was set to simply watch her now until further notice.”

With each word, Anjewel’s mouth grew dryer and dryer, her feet threatening to give out from underneath her - for real this time.  The draenei felt his opportunity and pushed against her, his thick tail attempting to sweep her legs as he caught her off balance.  Anjewel called upon the Fangs and disappeared into shadow.  Her world slowed down and she jumped.  From above him she could see him turn in fear and dart for his desk.  I hate this part. Why do they try?

As she made her way over him, she released the shadow and fell onto his back - daggers plunging into soft flesh.  Yup, it was the kidneys. Good to know.  He screamed in agony as the poison entered his body. Grinning, she twisted the daggers further into him.

“I guess you didn’t know who Akaari Shadowgore was, huh?”  And with that, she dropped a dagger, grabbed a tendril, pulled back his head and slit his throat. 

Waiting to ensure he was dead, Anjewel slowly became aware of noises in the hallway, raised in concern, and heard the voice of the receptionist growing closer.  “Miss Black, Miss Black - is everything alright?”

“Yes Evette, thank you.  Call the cleaning crew would you?  I’m afraid the doctor made quite a mess of my ankle and there is blood just everywhere.  He’s gone and fainted and might need some attention himself.”

She didn’t need to see it to know that Evette would get the patients and their doctors or nurses back in their rooms and help keep them calm.  This was a place of professionalism of course. The Uncrowned, of which she was a part, would always ensure a professional atmosphere. But now I need to do something about this ankle. By the Light. Fuckity fuck fuck fuck.  This strange litany passed through her as she clamped down on the leather handle of her dagger, stood on the desk and stepped off.  Moving her ankle at the last second, it hit hard and she heard a crack.  

Dragging herself to the medical table, Anjewel climbed up, put her daggers away and waited.  Soon, Evette entered, followed by an Uncrowned physician.  “What do you think doc? Does it look bad?”

After a short examination he replied, “You did a pretty good job.  Nice angle, clean break.  We can make the cover story work.  You’ll need to do a thorough write up on why you killed a staff member though.  In the meantime we’ll arrange for him to go missing.”  So many are missing lately. And now this one is mine. “You’ll be off your feet for several weeks, so I’ll put in a notice that you’re to be disqualified from mobile work.  Though maybe we can arrange for some stakeouts.”

“Understood.  I’ll write Valdis and see if she’s up for some family time.  And perhaps I can get Finn involved. Would you mind hand delivering a letter to her? It’s urgent, and it’s related to the debrief I’ll be giving later.”

Evette nodded and brought in some writing supplies. As the physician, John, worked on her ankle, and Evette worked to clean up any blood that found its way on Anjewel, she wrote:

“Dearest Emerald,

I was badly injured today, and if not for the swift assistance of my favorite physician, I don’t know if I would have managed.  I am told I cannot work and need round the clock aid for a short time.  Please tell me that my dearest person is available to console me and bake me my favorite cookies.  I think I may have figured out your secret ingredient and know just where you can get some at this time of year.  This messenger is known to me and will await your response. I have not yet received a response from my last letter, and if you have not yet crafted one, I beg you answer me in person.

Love,

Ruby”

Finishing her letter, Anjewel turned to Evette.  

“Evette, Valdis is cautious and I have advised her you will wait.  If she requires proof, mention that “the Ruby misses the Sapphire”. She will know you are known to me and should trust you.”  She turned to the physician.  “John, would you mind getting me out front before Finn is back?  I don’t need him trying to come back here to comfort me.”

Anjewel had just enough time to grab a seat, tuck her daggers away and smooth her hair before Finn walked in the door.  The look on his face was all she needed to make this hellscape of an afternoon better.  “No luck then Finn? I’m so sorry.”

She almost felt as if he cared for when she saw the look on his face as he took in her appearance.  He tried to take me from Valdis. He worked to undermine her and bring harm to her. It doesn’t matter what it looks like. Murderous rage flowed through her and she struggled to hold on.  Cleaning up one death would already be tough enough to do, and she didn’t care to explain two.

[vonahalv]

The Mystery (Part 2/?)

Two Days Later in the Mage District

Finn entered the dark building.  Despite being located in a popular district of Stormwind, this place was always dark and nearly deserted.  It gave him chills just entering the building. Maybe it was the name - the Slaughtered Lamb - or perhaps it was the fact that once you walked into the basement you realized it wasn’t a tavern at all.  

~~~

Outside, Anjewel had been walking across the rooftops engaging in her normal, albeit personal, patrol.  She was on her way to the Mage District to check for incoming mail.  It had been two days since she wrote Valdis and wanted to see if a reply had been sent.  Anjewel spotted Finn walking alone and was just about to jump down and call for his attention when he entered the Warlock Coven.  A chill ran down her back as Valdis’ words ran through her mind. It’s a hard position Anj. Everyone wants power and I hold it. I don’t know whom to trust and every day someone new works to thwart all I’ve worked for to restore order and defend Azeroth.  I can always trust you, right?

Anjewel swallowed hard and realized that she had been too open with Finn, and he knew Valdis led the Black Harvest - an organization once thought dead until the Legion threatened to take their world once more.  While the information could be found out, it was hard to do, and Anjewel had just given it away.

It’s Finn.  I’ve known him forever. This is just Val’s paranoia eating away at me.  I can’t handle it anymore.  I already have to write her in code, and I can’t use her real name in conversation. This is ridiculous. I don’t know what he’s doing, but he’s not going after Valdis.  Still, she found herself unmoving from the rooftop as she watched for his exit, her expected reply forgotten.

~~~

Within the Slaughtered Lamb, Finn made his way down the darkened staircase.  Working from memory, as he dared not write anything down to be found, he made his way through winding corridors until he found the one he wanted.  A fel green hand surrounded by a circle was painted on the door.  He knocked once, then twice, then once more before taking a step back.  

A voice rumbled from behind the door, “Enter.”

Finn entered the room and closed the door behind him.  Sitting behind a large, hard carved and sparsely decorated desk, sat a Draenei in a robe. Though the robe was hooded and covered most of the figure's features, the tendrils hanging from his chin gave his race away.  The figure motioned, and Finn moved to stand just a few paces away from the desk.  

“What is your progress?”

“She wrote the First and cut off her ties for a time.  It is as you wish. The First is utterly alone, partly due to her own making, but now in part because of your own.  The sister does not believe, but suspects enough that trust will be hard to earn again.  The sister believes she is doomed to have only failed relationships, save the one she has with me.”

The hooded figure slid open a desk drawer and removed a pouch of gold.  He placed it on the table, and Finn felt a thrill flow through him.   It sounds so much heavier than I expected. Moving quickly to take it, Finn secured it to his belt and stepped back to his place in the room.

“Excellent. Why attack the problem head on when one can simply weaken the defenses?  Your work is complete for now.  Keep the sister away and eventually the First will fall.  She already crumbles. Just a slight nudge in the wrong direction and her position can be ours.”

The dismissal was clear, and Finn turned to leave.  He made his way back upstairs and into the daylight.  He stood to the side, closed his eyes and took a focused breath.  I am doing that more and more lately.  Is it worth this?   He took a step and the gold jingled in the pouch.  He felt his anxiety leave, and whistling he headed in the direction of home.

~~~

Her heart fell within her chest.  I’m not the best at my job, but I’m not an idiot.  He didn’t have that pouch going in, and that’s the fifth time in two days he’s had to slow down and calm his nerves.  Valdis is right, and this time I’m to blame.  Anjewel went to stand and lost her footing.  She landed on the roof, her hands slamming into the tiles before she rolled off onto the soft ground below. 

A few moments later, Anjewel opened her eyes to see Finn staring at her.  Fuck.  She looked around to find that he wasn’t the only one looking.  As she perused the faces staring in her direction, she saw a draenei leaving the Slaughtered Lamb.  Time to think about that later.  Filing away his facial features, Anjewel laughed. “Ooops!  I was practicing and must have slipped.  Finn, what are you doing here?”  She struggled to get up, and Finn offered his hand.

As she got up, Anjewel worked at the clasps on his new money pouch before throwing an arm around his neck and leaning on him.  “I’d stand tippy toe to kiss you right now, but I’m afraid I sprained my ankle. Can you carry me to the physician around the corner?”  The crowd was gathering around them now, and she knew there would be no better time.  She feigned falling against him and in doing so she caused the coin purse to drop.  A well timed shriek of pain covered the sound of money hitting the ground.

“Of course Jewel.  Let me.”  He wrapped her arms around his shoulders and scooped her up.  The crowd around them cheered and Anjewel looked behind to ensure that some untrustworthy soul took the gold pouch.  It didn’t take long, and Anjewel rested her head against Finn's shoulder.  “Thank you Finn.  I should probably practice closer to the ground next time.”  As he carried her two blocks down, she thought about that draenei and worked to memorize his face before the details became blurred through pain medication.

Draenei would never willingly work with the Legion, demons or the Black Harvest.  So if a draenei has, they are a traitor to their race.  Now I just need to find him and coerce the truth out of him.  Another thought, more chilling than the others so far, raced through her mind. What if it wasn’t Valdis? Finn has been working extremely hard to get me to believe Valdis is responsible for this large case of missing persons.  But he has A LOT of information for someone who just cares for my general well being. If that’s true, my latest letter played right into plans I’m only just now beginning to suspect.  And how long has he been at this? It has to be recent… it has to.

[vonahalv]

The Mystery

((Part 1/? of an OC based in World of Warcraft))

" I just don't know Finn." Anjewel strode back and forth across the floor, pacing nervously. She looked to her friend, a human like herself, with jet black hair, a tightly cropped beard and striking blue eyes. He returned her nervous gaze.

"I don't want to believe you. She is my sister and would never do anything to hurt me." Anjewel sighed heavily and turned away.  "I also cannot disagree with you. It seems to be a pattern, and when I tell her about a bad breakup, that guy goes missing within a few months. BUT, it's not like they're not involved in some pretty shady shit. Maybe I just have a knack for picking the wrong guys."

Finn moved around the countertop island where he had just been preparing some lunch for his friend. He stopped Anjewel from pacing and took her hands in his. "You do pick some pretty dumb guys. I can't be the only one telling you this. But it's not like I have much luck either. Regardless of your 'knack' and my bad luck, we are seeing a trend and it's time you address it."

"And do what Finn? Confront my sister, the head of the Black Harvest, and tell her that she's not allowed to kill my ex-boyfriends? I'm sure that will go over just peachy." She allowed the sarcasm to drip heavily in her speech as she pulled her hands away and rolled her eyes. "You and I have been friends long enough to know that that's just not going to happen."

Finn took a step back, closed his eyes, and allowed himself a focused breath. When he looked at her again, she had moved to the table and was investigating the timeline he had put together.  Her auburn hair swayed as she moved, and he caught her profile in the light. She was in her usual makeup, her eyes lined in black, and the red pendant on her neck glistened in the sun.

She is stunning.  The thought floated to the surface of his mind and he pushed it back down as quickly as it rose.  “Take your time Jewel.  If it’s true she would never hurt you, then asking the question cannot cause any problems.  In the meantime though, perhaps you shouldn’t go running to your sister every time you have a breakup. Especially at this rate.”

He moved back to the countertop to finish preparing lunch, and found her there waiting for him.  A surprised gasp left him and he allowed the embarrassment to show on his face. “I’ve asked you not to do that!”  A punch landed on his shoulder and her eyes danced playfully.  “I’ll do as I like, both with the number of men in my life and scaring you.  They’re equally fun, sans the consequences. But perhaps you're right.  Valdis doesn’t need to know every time I have a bad relationship, and if they stop disappearing maybe I don’t have to talk to her about it. Now, how can I help?”

~~~

Later that night, Anjewel sat down to pen a letter to her sister.

“Dearest Emerald,

For once, everything is fine.  I’m taking a break from relationships to focus on me.  With each breakup I found myself looking to the sky and asking Dad why I couldn’t find someone who would do for him as he did for Mom.  And I don’t think that’s fair.  I can’t ask anyone to fill his shoes, and what they had was special.  Anyways.  I know you’re super busy and stressed all the time, so this will be one less thing for you to worry about.  Next time we meet, I promise we won’t talk about boys.  Maybe I will have an interesting job we can discuss.  If the fates are kind at any rate.

Love,

Ruby”

Finn watched from a spot by the fireplace as she finished the letter at her desk and sealed it in an envelope.  Once she had put it in her pack, he patted the couch space next to him. She plopped down next to him.  “Do you feel better taking that first step?”

She leaned against him and rested her head on his shoulder. “I do. I’m all about not confronting things when I can avoid them. It’s the human condition.”

Kissing her head softly he murmured, “I’ve been wondering why we keep looking for others when we can be looking at each other?”  Her body grew tense and she pulled away from him before turning back toward him.

“Finn. We’ve known each other forever. We’re best friends. Why would we look at each other when we can look at other people? That’s the BEST QUESTION I NEVER THOUGHT TO ASK. Maybe because I was looking for something different, and neglecting someone great right here.”

Her response was greeted with a warm smile as he leaned in.  “May I?”