#shes the sean bean of action

[trash-but-trying]

I think the funniest part of the resident evil movies is that they kill Michelle Rodriguez. And then they bring her back. To kill again. Amazing

[verdemoun]

What subjects do you think the vdlg was good at in school?

quick high school au. grimshaw, hosea, dutch, pearson, swanson, uncle, molly and strauss are all teachers. rest of the gang is de-aged to teens.

arthur: art. he is the definition of the quiet kid the teachers let sit in the art classroom during lunch despite rules because he all he wanted was the peace and quiet to draw

john: pe. not just the actual physical activity side of it but really good at the health and human development, understanding of physiology side of it. could've been an all-star if he hadn't had an injury in middle school

javier: languages and music. unsurprisingly his brain is just pre-disposed to the particular process of learning third/fourth/fifth languages after moving to america as a very smol bean and having to learn english. still argues sheet music is easier to read than shakespeare. english is his least favorite language.

bill: chemistry. admittedly he can't explain how he's good at it and will forget a formula the second he learns it but on the practical side of things will outperform the teacher on experiments.

micah: home economics/FCS. which he will never admit to liking. but a bit of privacy and encouragement from his fav teacher and he can patch clothes, and cook like he's been doing it since was seven years old (because his father's an alcoholic and his mother died so he had to take over domestic duties to look after his little brother)

charles: vocational. woodwork, metalwork, outdoor ed, anything he can do with his hands without being in a classroom.

sean: history is the only class he pays attention in. except he's usually correcting the teacher because 'but my da said' and then going on with a mostly fantastical story about revolution and victory for the working class.

lenny: legal studies. he wishes it wasn't how his brain worked, but it's really intuitive to him even without his father's pressure to excel. he can't help he's got that belief that in righteousness and social justice. presentation on a class action? lenny and sean dream team going to make you think you're in court.

sadie: automotive! at least when she bothers to show up. she skips school more than sean does, usually to hang out with her bf jake and give him a heart attack as he plays backpack on their motorbike.

karen: english but only persuasive writing. captain of the debate team. her and lenny get into a fight it's the presidential debate. sean is increasingly aware he might just have a thing for being yelled at.

tilly: maths, specifically financial maths. but she's an all-rounder who knows she can go into absolutely any field she wants because she's just designed to learn. despite all warnings not to, she decides to go into teaching.

mary-beth: also maths. obviously she loves english but she is a maths prodigy effortlessly doing work several grades ahead of her actual level. when she eventually decides to pursue creative writing she has to put up with everyone who knows her telling her she wasted her potential. no i'm not projecting.

abigail: drama. she's hosea's little prodigy, lead for every play and landing some minor acting jobs while still in school. she's going to end up getting pregnant at prom and spend the next 5 years putting up with john's bs before he decides to grow up.

trelawney: it! he's amazing with computers, stopped attending school for two years at only to reappear at graduation with his wife in a fancy car. he was definitely running scams and apparently already owns his first house and is talking about getting a bigger one for when their first born arrives. he's 19.

kieran: english. yes, he couldn't read until senior school because it took that long for the teachers to realise he is hella dyslexic. but he's getting a lot better at it and it's still his best subject because he's just terrible at everything else.

[anarchic-miscellany]

Terrible Screenplay Ideas: "Heavy is the Crown: A Benoit Blanc Mystery" Partly through their road trip to purchase a rare 1st edition book from a seller across the country, Benoit Blanc and his husband Philip are cursed with a breakdown in their car. As they wait for it to be repaired (and Blanc tells the seller what happened) they find themselves in the normally quaint and small town of Aquinas: now home to its annual enormous LARP "Knights and Knaves", where players from across the world come to live as kings, queens, nobles, peasants and knights in a game of deceit and merriment! Every hotel is booked out, but Benoit and Philip manage to get a room with local boy Warren (Adam Scott), who is actually one of the Games Masters for the LARP, in what will be his final year running this. Philip finds the whole affair delightful, Blanc is more perplexed, and Warren invites them to come along to see the game in action. Blanc plays the court jester "Jingle Bottom" and annoys Warren by figuring out all of his plots when he reads the notebook and simply not understanding "it's MAGIC!", forcing him to concoct better ones, whilst Philip finds himself swept up in the entire affair, Lords and Ladies alike swooning over him. Warren turns up dead in the woods, slain by an errant blade to the chest. Local Sheriff Coburn (Margot Martindale) is quick to write it off as an accident: a case of why one should never play with fake blades. But Blanc is obsessed: he knows that Warren was careful with his blades in the short time he met him, having preferred "magic" in combat, besides which as a Gamesmaster he would never be allowed to participate in combat. Besides, Philip really wants to see how the court would deal with the encroaching threat of the Lord of Darkness... So a murder investigation ensues!

They must navigate both the politics of the fantasy court (all in upheaval after King Winterbloom spurned the alliance with Lady Davenport, before a war with the Lord of Darkness no less!) and the private real lives of the players involved, to find out who killed Warren and why... Plus he really wants to get his car finished so he and Philip can collect that book... Suspects include! 1. King Darius Winterbloom, A.K.A "Clive Bennett" (Sean Bean), by day a labourer who came here to support his step daughter years ago until she passed away from leukemia and he kept going. In game he is the pragmatic and harsh ruler of these kingdoms, holding them together by any means necessary, and feeling his rule slipping... He actually would rather just chill out with a beer and go fishing, but Warren had warped the game and made it a shadow of what it was, defiling his step daughter's memory and why he played to begin...

2. Lady Davenport, A.K.A Claudia Perriwinkle (Jenny Slate) is the leader of the elves, and recently found herself humiliated in front of the court. Warren had been uncercutting her in game and is also her ex, having humiliated her in front of everybody, but she insists she had moved on from him. Outside of the game she is a supposed "tough alt girl" who hides it from her friends and crew.

3. Jeremy Mallard (John Magaro) is formerly a great and noble knight in the game, brought low by Warren's games and trickery, and who used to be best friends when he played D&D with him. The guy's having a terrible life in and out of game: his girlfriend left him and his character has become a joke, a bum and a drunk, and with Benoit here he can't even be the jester anymore.

4. Estella the Dark Elf (Stephanie Hsu) is one of Warren's exes, and they broke up in an exceedingly ugly manner. A popular player, she has now gone rogue and seeks to prove that she is great and charismatic even without a games master as a boyfriend, and she holds sway over many new and younger players, making her own fun.

5. Lord and Lady Sebastian and Sylvia Diamondfern (Randall Park and Ali Wong) are the loyal, diplomatic heads of the court and those who are the trusted council of King Winterbloom despite differing views, and the stable political forces who keep this place going. Unfortunately in real life, Duncan and Janet are having marital problems and bickering all of the time, having to keep up this act, and are thinking of getting out of the game altogether, but for the players who rely on them. Their bickering is starting to slide into the game too... They were (in character) among the last to see him alive, and Warren had been pestering them a lot in their normal jobs about the game, and knew them both from university. He was starting to get annoying, and they did both share secrets with him...

6. Melinda the Dreaded (Myha'la) is a fellow Games Master named Denise, who idolised Warren and was happy to be here, but all of her ideas were stolen by the man, who was soon to publish his new book based on all of her work. She was also the real brains behind the game.

Other suspects come into the fray, but Blanc must not only solve the mystery but keep the whole thing from bubbling over into the real world as the game tries to limp on to its epic conclusion...

[ceoofhelaegon]

In HOTD the “prequel” episodes should’ve been confined to 3 instead of 5 and those 2 episodes should’ve been spent with the green kids, specifically Aegon (older Aegon).

He’s our 2nd main character and we know NOTHING about him going into S2 and the main action other then he’s a r***st and a pos.

All his canon character traits like going to flea bottom, alcoholism, whoring, being a sex addict and a libertine, being depressed over his inheritance etc are all either just implied, hinted to or viewers heard from the books or actor interviews. For most of us it’s the books. If you only watched the show you know nada.

On the other hand we spent SO MUCH TIME with Daemon. We saw what he casually gets up to, kinda a view his daily life, we got to know him in what I even think was too much screen time. He’s an important character but not a main character so the most time should’ve been spent on rhaenyra (5+ episodes of focus) and Aegon (10 minutes max of screen time and in 90% of that we just see him and don’t get to know him at all or it’s already the main action)

We also spent so much time with Leanor who hardly has any significance in the Dance or later events.

We spent so much time on the Stepstones debacle even tho it has little to no contribution to the main plot other then one mention of the triarchy during the dance. The stepstones plot was done imo as a way to flesh out Daemon’s character and Daemon and viserys’s relationship.

But am I wrong when I say “was that really that important and crucial to take up 5 episodes?”

Look how unfair and unbalanced the info we have on rhaenyra vs Aegon is. We see rhaenyra grow up, we see an hour long well rounded view into her life, hardships, conflicts, friendships, etc that shape her into who she will be as a character and her behavior in the later action. By the time we see her in episode 8 and the real action begins she’s a character we’re already familiar with.

Instead we could’ve gotten a good 2 episodes looking into the daily lives of the green kids at the Keep. We could’ve seen Aegon in flea bottom, wandering drunk around the keep, being dragged out of brothels, partying, sneaking out at night, creeping around serving girls in a book canon way, slacking off training and lessons, bonding with or riding Sunfyre, his relationship with his siblings and family outside of only showing us the conflict parts

The whole thing with Daemon stems from “famous actor syndrome” meaning that if an actor less well known than Matt Smith was playing Daemon we wouldn’t be spending as much time with him.

GOT had Sean Bean, I was looking into the promo for GOT season 1 and it was only Sean Bean. GOT firstly attracted viewers because of him.

Kit Harrington and Sophie Turner talked about how all of the actors had to learn Sean Bean’s northern accent because Sean Bean couldn’t do RP.

I think the same could be applied to Matt Smith, without a shadow of a doubt he is the most famous actor in HoTD, and neither him or his fans would like to have him in the sidelines.

In regards to Rhaenyra, regardless of my feelings of the character, making her the protagonist was a mistake. She doesn’t survive the whole Dance, and her death occurs way too late to be like Ned Stark dying in season 1, so we would shift focus to other characters.

Alicent survives the whole Dance, her character is one of the most important to be build up for it. Cregan doesn’t do anything to her to avoid another war breaking out.

Targaryens are supposed to be otherworldly, if we got them through an outsider’s perspective it would make much more sense. Alicent seeing Rhaenyra flying on her dragon and seeing how insane this was, and how Rhaenyra saying that Alicent should ride with her would be a great set up.

Seeing how Targaryens only care about their own, no matter what they say is also a good way of seeing it through Alicent’s eyes.

Aegon, well…he should’ve been the focus of the narrative as soon as Rhaenyra leaves for Dragonstone. How does he feel about Rhaenyra? How does he feel about the fact that he was disinherited for no good reason? Those are the questions the show should be answering.

They have the skeleton of a story, finish the building, don’t knock it down and start from scratch because it never works.

[atopvisenyashill]

What other projects have you watched with got and hotd actors and how do you like their performance outside of got/hotd?

I’ve watched probably….most of Matt Smith’s filmography on account of watching Doctor Who in high school and falling in love with him. I think he’s incredibly talented and charismatic and genuinely perfect casting as Daemon. I had also seen Paddy Considine in that movie Pride altho I didn’t recognize him as Viserys lmao but i adore that movie, you should watch if you haven’t seen it, it’s about the Lesbians And Gays Support The Miners movement and I definitely cried watching it aksjdjd. I also watched all of bates motel as it was airing which olivia is in (and also the sound of metal, which she and riz ahmed are amazing in, and also riz steven and chadwick were robbed that year smh). olivia and matt are actually The Reason i started hotd lol i didn’t intend to watch it but then i was like oh…..but……….i love them aksjsjs.

I have technically seen Rhys in several things but he’s Fine. I am still mad about him having zero chemistry with Lucy Liu in Elementary and ruining an entire season by having negative rizz. why am i supposed to believe that man is like some great love of watson’s life when they don’t even look like they like each other. rhys count your fuckijg days. i’ve also seen graham mactavish in a number of things, the first being Outlander and he was like, one of the best antagonist characters in the show, was both excited and devastated when his character died hah he has one of my favorite lines in the show which is “the idea of grinding your corn does tickle me” 💀💀😂😂

For the main show, I had seen Charles Dance in Phantom (he’s really good even tho it’s a more romantic take on the story but that’s fine i still love it!!!), Lena, Peter, & Mark in like Most Of Their Filmographies bc i was already a fan of them, who hasn’t seen at least five Sean Bean deaths, and I’d seen a few Alexander Siddig, Ciaran Hinds, Iain Glenn, & Indira Varma in a bunch of stuff too and loved them - Kingdom of Heaven & Syriana & DS9, Persuasion & The Terror, Resident Evil, Kama Sutra.

I’ve seen Gwendoline, Elyes (he was Rakharo, rip to an icon), Thomas Brodie, Sophie, Maisie, Kit, Richard, Jason (Momoa), Michelle, and Tobias in a bunch of other stuff since I started the show. I think Gwendoline is incredibly talented, as are Sophie and Maisie. Richard imo usually needs a good script to shine - like Rocketman? amazing. Eternals? Meh - and Kit is uh. Sometimes he has good chemistry with other actors. I paid real money to see him in Pompeii and my sibling holds a grudge against me to this day for that one aksjd. Jason Momoa has a tendency to just play different versions of himself but the movie Red Road Redemption is real good, it’s about MMIW & his acting abilities really shine, I’d love to see him in more serious or more romantic roles and less action roles. I cannot praise Tobias Menzies more highly, hes in Outlander, The Terror, and the Crown and he’s just sublime in all of them and you’d never know it by the way they wrote Edmure. OH SHIT also obviously Jacob Artist in IWTV is amazinnnnnnng EGOT INCOMING and Nathalie Emmanuel was REALLY FUN in The Invitation!!!

Probably my favorite of everyone is Peter Dinklage tho, he’s very serious & choosy with his roles bc he doesn’t want to play a stereotype and it’s made his filmography just *muah* like it’s so interesting and varied and he puts his whole heart into every role however goofy or serious it is. i love him, i want him to be the romantic lead in more stuff bc i’m a romantic and also like, a pervert and he’s so handsome aksksk.

Also Ciaran Hinds & Amanda Root Persuasion >>>>>>>>>>> Those Other Two

[arcadianambivalence]

World on Fire Season 2, Episode 1

Well folks, it’s finally back. After the first season aired in Britain in 2019 and in the U.S. in early 2020, the world has been…going through things. Between lockdowns, travel restrictions, scheduling conflicts, and all the behind-the-scenes difficulty related to these things, World on Fire finally returns for season 2, albeit somewhat different from creator Peter Bowker’s original plans released shortly after season 1. While the cast and crew have worked tirelessly to smooth over the gaps of characters whose actors are not returning, their absences are as obvious as the gaping hole in the Bennett home.

And yet, while you can see where new members of the cast are stepping into the footprints of those who are not returning for the season, the first episode of season 2 breathes a fresh sense of urgency and humanity to the plot. More importantly, it brings new opportunities to the remaining characters while raising the stakes.

The first go is the most obvious: Sean Bean. In true Sean Bean fashion, the Bennett father does not make it to season 2, leaving his children (and granddaughter) to maneuver their new daily perils without him. All jokes about our premature relief that he survived last season aside, the reminder that Douglas would have died reliving his worst experiences from the First World War is particularly distressing. 

When his son Tom arrives back in Manchester, having made it out of Occupied France by way of Fascist Spain, he comes home to a crater where the Bennett home once stood. He learns of Douglas’s death from Lois, who is now staying with Connie and baby Vera. The two begin arguing to cover up their grief, just as they frequently did last season. Anger and blame are more familiar companions than remorse.

Also arriving after an offscreen escape from Occupied Poland are Kasia and Harry, emotionally picking up where we left them last season. Still the romantic, Harry wants to reunite Kasia with her brothers and give her a place to stay at Robina’s. Although he will have to leave soon to a posting in Egypt, he wants to ensure Kasia’s safety (and love) before being separated once again. 

Meanwhile, Kasia is showing signs of Complex PTSD after nearly a year of one traumatic event after another. Between her mother being murdered by a German soldier, her friend and fellow Resistance fighter Thomasz being arrested and killed, her vengeful and soul-crushing routine of luring German soldiers to their deaths, and her own near-brushes with death are taking their toll. 

When introduced to any established character, she reacts with distance and resignation. Her mother-in-law is rude, off putting, and xenophobic? Okay. Her little brother Jan acts more like a young British gentleman than a Polish boy? Sure. Her husband had an affair with a local girl who has given birth to a baby? That’s a thing that happened. But one thing she cannot resign herself to is the blatant hatred some of the local Brits have for “The Other.” Meeting Grzegorz and Jan in a teashop, Kasia gets into a scuffle with a local man after he makes several xenophobic comments towards the siblings. The potential legal action, Kasia’s nightmares, attempts to speak Polish with Jan, and mere existence has bristled Robina’s feathers. It seems Robina has suffered a backslide in the months between the end of season 1 and the beginning of season 2.

Speaking of backslides, Lois is also not doing well. Not only has she lost her father during an air raid, but her pilot fiance has perished as well. While Connie tries to get Lois to talk about it during their work in the ARP, as an air warden and ambulance driver respectively, Lois has returned to her knee-jerk reaction: deflect, say something sharp, and engage in risky behavior. This time, she puts more than her own health at risk, though. As an ambulance driver, it is her duty to take injured survivors from bomb attacks to a hospital or medical station. While she does this, Lois takes unnecessary risks, driving fast and recklessly through rubble-strewn streets or beside collapsing buildings. Seeing Harry for the first time since her last conversation, where Harry made plans to have Lois inherit some of his money if he were to die parachuting into Poland, Lois is unfortunately still into him, if the sweeping camera zoom on her glowing face is any indication. 

The two secretly meet in a canteen, where Lois urges Harry to make things right with Kasia, something she never could with Douglas. While this would sound like a helpful piece of hard-won wisdom, Lois’s desire to know that Harry will be okay, coupled with the risks taken on the job and the danger of her line of work…sounds like Lois is resigning herself to dying in an air raid. Indeed, when responding to a bombed flat one night, Lois helps the last survivor (a grandfather) out then runs back into the building to grab the man’s prosthetic teeth. Eyes drawn to a massive hole in the burning ceiling and a dogfight in the skies overhead, she steadies herself and lets the house collapse around her.

But this is World on Fire, where she’s one of the main characters (and based off Peter Bowker’s grandmother) so of course she’s going to live!

Less certain, though, are the lives of two new characters, the pilots David and someone with the callsign “Shortbread,” whose name I cannot remember. David is a brash, womanizing, and jovial pilot taking the place of Randy or Vernon with such confidence and presence, you’d think he’d been here all along. Grzegorz, working as a crew member at the local base (not sure what his specific job is yet), is a friend. While I’d love to see a subplot with these two bonding over their shared interests and feelings of being outsiders (with Grzegorz as a refugee and David as a Jewish man surrounded by Gentiles who aren’t so gentle), the preview for season 2 seems to imply a different path for these guys. (A shame, as I want to see Grzegorz happy after all he’s been through! Can’t somebody be happy?)

But having Grzegorz on the air base, representing the significant role that Polish pilots and crew members had on the defense of Britain during the Blitz is what I wanted most for this character, so Bowker, I thank you for this.

. . .

One aspect of history I did not expect this show (or any show) to actually cover is another disturbing aspect of Nazi Germany’s eugenics programs, the Lebensborn program. A new character, Marga, is proud to be chosen for her “duty” to the nation as a young and healthy woman meeting the beauty standards of the day. This means more than pageantry and propaganda, though, she’s already gotten plenty of that in school and as a member of the League of German Girls. No, what it really means (and what everyone else seems to understand but not explicitly tell her) is that she is going to be forced to have a child with a complete stranger who has also been chosen for his apparent health and attractiveness. Or, to quote her concerned teacher, the government will rape this teenaged girl.

Yes, you read that correctly. Yes, this did happen. There were also many children taken from occupied countries and made to live in Germany with German families, and not as an act of kindness for poor abandoned orphan refugees.

So…this is going to be a rough storyline. It makes the flimsy Mancurian love triangle look even more out of place with the tone and content of this show.

(Can you tell I’m not a fan? Can you tell I think Lois and Harry are at their least interesting together? Can you tell I think that a show called World on Fire should focus on bringing together different characters of different backgrounds and different countries?)

. . .

Speaking of bringing together characters from different backgrounds and different countries, there is one more storyline introduced this season that will have plenty of hair-raising action scenes. The North African front, or more specifically, the battlefields along the border of Egypt and Libya. We follow a familiar character, Stan (Harry’s sergeant), and a new one, Rajib, head of a Sapper unit for the British Indian Army. The Sapper unit is responsible for locating, defusing, and removing landmines left by the retreating German army.

Keeping with the show’s focus on overlooked points of view and experiences during the Second World War, the character of Rajib brings the viewer to a world of the unfamiliar and terrifying. From the (green screen) sandstorms to hidden explosives to recognition of the importance of the Commonwealth forces, Rajib is another welcome addition. A brilliant engineer who leads by example and looks at everything as if it may be the last thing he sees (and in this line of work, honestly could be), Rajib and his storyline are a reminder of the unacknowledged risks and sacrifices made to get the Allied forces one step closer to the Axis powers in the North African campaign. 

Even Stan, who let’s remember casually spouted off some racist and ableist language last season, seems moved by the bravery of the Sapper unit and the total lack of protection given to them by their (white) British commanders. Is this a character arc I see before me? I guess we’ll just have to keep watching…

. . .

There are two other conspicuously absent storylines: the American journalist Nancy and the band of French medical workers in Occupied France. While the episode 2 preview promises an answer for questions about one, it's still unclear what will be revealed about the other.

[naruthandir]

I'm gonna be real with ya'll I do understand why we want to make Tolkien inclusive by drawing elves with different ethnicities and that's AWESOME but is anyone going to talk about it from a character design perspective.

I mean just think about it. Diversity in the way we draw characters is not only good from an inclusivity standpoint it is just. Objectively better? I think? Because otherwise you are left with a bunch of characters that all look so very similar do each other and half the time you can't tell who is who. You can't really tell them apart. I found that it was a lot easier to read and be invested in the silmarillion if I imagined the characters having different skin colors and features.

Same applies to body types. Making a character fat may not be good only for inclusivity "woke points" as some like to call it. It is literally better to have characters with recognizable silhouettes. I never got the hate for the changes in character design in She-Ra for example, when they are, from a technical standpoint, easier to animate and more visually interesting and distinct.

(this is also the reason I don't really watch live action because I have prosopagnosia and I can't tell who is who half the time)

Also next time someone says "representation doesn't matter" tell them that the whole reason Latin America is majority catholic is because they made the virgin Mary indigenous. There's a story about La Virgen de Juquila, a small town from near where I live, that goes something like this: The Spanish brought their God, but people weren't keen on it. One day the church was set on fire, and the statue of the virgin was burnt and her skin made brown. The priests tried to restore it, to no avail. They say the virgin herself wanted to make her skin brown, so the people of the region could better see themselves in her.

Like I'm not religious and I kinda despise the church but this is literally the oldest trick in the book and it works. People like it when the people in stories, their icons, look like them. It just makes the Monke Brain happy. It makes *my* Monke Brain happy. And I feel like happiness is always a net positive.

And while I am no one to tell anyone what to do, I do think it's a good thing, when we make our characters diverse, just for the reasons listed above. I genuinely don't see why anyone would be upset at this? I've seen people be upset. They say it goes against the lore. Casting Sean Bean as Boromir goes against the lore as well, I don't see anyone complaining. He was a good pick, and that's that, even if his hair color isn't the same as in the books. We deal with it and move on. Might be slightly annoying, but the books will always be there for us Black Hair Boromir truthers.

[elshells]

It Blursday!! 🖤💜

WE’RE TAKING THE SQUADDIES TO EISENGARD!

You don’t have to fill all the roles, and they don’t all have to be from the same WIP, but who’s:

the Ring-bearer, entrusted with carrying the One Ring (bonus: funniest instance they use it to nope right out of reality)

the “Sam”, armed with a frying pan and a wizard of potatoes

Sean Bean, who dies in every movie — falls victim to their own hubris

totally crushing on Arwen and has a really cool sword

AND MY AXE

AND MY GLOCK BOW

Merry and Pippin the “package deal”, very concerned about missing second breakfast

the dude with a sick staff and a concerning amount of explosives, may or may not be an actual wizard

— @outpost51

Happy Blursday!! I want you to know that I've been thinking about this question all day XD

So, the Harmont Heroes go to Eisengard! I love this prompt <3

The Ring-bearer, entrusted with carrying the One Ring (bonus: funniest instance they use it to nope right out of reality):

Max kinda takes after Frodo IMO, and I think the others would deem him the most trustworthy. He would take this duty extremely seriously, keeping the ring off his finger at all times—that is, until combat breaks out. It almost becomes a panic response. Anytime he's in danger—BOOM. Invisible. I think it would also be really funny if he just slipped it on anytime he felt like he was third-wheeling too hard on Harley and Jade. Just sliding out unnoticed and without confrontation.

2. The “Sam”, armed with a frying pan and a wizard of potatoes:

Sophia—which might seem like an odd choice until you remember how devoted she is to the people she loves. She will protect them until her last fighting breath.

3. Sean Bean, who dies in every movie — falls victim to their own hubris:

Bellona, stronger than the rest and too proud for her own good. Ultimately, she's her own undoing, which is ironic, since no one else seems able to take her down.

4. Totally crushing on Arwen and has a really cool sword:

Most likely Harley, since there's not much she wouldn't give for a cool sword (Jade is Arwen).

5. AND MY AXE:

Jet, 100%. Way too eager for action, but at least he's got the spirit!

6. AND MY GLOCK BOW:

Janus. Cool, collected, slightly unhinged, and ready to make it everybody else's problem.

7. Merry and Pippin the “package deal”, very concerned about missing second breakfast:

Ahren and August have BIG Merry and Pippin energy. On their own, they're both loyal and semi-competent, but once you put them in a room together, the brain cells cancel each other out.

8. The dude with a sick staff and a concerning amount of explosives, may or may not be an actual wizard:

Evelyn Cho, Max's mother. That woman may have a secret or two up her sleeve.

[captain-303]

So I watched the SILENT HILL movie. It was pretty good! I have to admit I've only been able to play the remake of Silent Hill 2, I really want to play 1, 3 and 4 but they're simply 2 spooky 4 me. I do know however that this movie is very loosely based on the events of Silent Hill 1, so I'm a little surprised that Pyramid Head made such a prominent appearance, I kind of understand that at this point he is the poster child of the series and it was nice to see a live action version of him, even if his 'pyramid head' wasn't completely game accurate. One thing I really didn't expect was for Sean Bean to be in it... And survive!

I think the only scene I didn't like was where Pyramid Head skinned that woman, like, don't do that man. The only equally violent scene that made me look away was probably Dark Alessa's massacre at the church at the end of the movie, although all the members of The Brethren probably deserved it; firstly for trying to burn Alessa when she was still a child and secondly for burning that nice cop lady. Although maybe tearing the cult leader in half with her barbed-wire tentacles was a little much, maybe not, idk. I thought all the sets were really good too, and the costumes too, the bit with the bobble head nurses was genuinely hair raising espically the way they moved around, that was super spooky.

8 spooks out of 10!

I hear there's a sequel! I hope it's just as good

[kinnie-coins]

Welcome to the . . .

☆ FREAKSHOW ☆

This blog is ran by a HC-DID System who collectively identifies as a Queer VoidFreak, please call us by void/voids and the name Siren ! 💜

We also have NPD, PPD, and BPD. Alongside Autism and ADHD, with medium support needs.

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HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY !! 💚

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Mitski

IDKHow

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[thelongforgottenrealm]

BARTHOLOMEW VARMONT, HAND OF THE KING / SEAN BEAN

♛ Age: (57) ♛ Relationships: Ciara Varmont (daughter), Eoin Varmont, Arthur Varont (sons), Roderick Varmont (nephew/king), Alaric Varmont (nephew), Edmund Varmont, Sebastian Varmont (great nephews), Guinevere Varmont, Cassandra Varmont (great nieces), Godfrey Calainon (future son-in-law), Marian Varmont (interest/former lover), Aleksander Royce (distrusts)

the much younger brother of roderick’s deceased father and now hand of the king

responsible for a lot of the more sane choices roderick makes and helps keeping him from going too far off the rails

has watched as his nephew descends into obsession – stopping at nothing as he conquers kingdom after kingdom, but despite this bartholomew believes that there is still much good in roderick, but even bartholomew will admit that it is sometimes hard to see when his ambition clouds all else

bartholomew is extremely loyal to his family & friends

once you are in his inner circle, you are there for life!!!

honestly he always tries to do the right/honorable/just thing but if you are going to get bartholomew to bend the rules, it is probably to avoid the suffering of a loved one

lost his wife during the birth of his daughter, ciara

bartholomew cared for his wife a great deal, but he had never loved her as he loved marian

he had planned to remarry after his wife died and had privately decided to court her, but before he had the chance, roderick announced that he meant to marry her instead and so bartholomew said nothing

instead he remained a good friend to them both and could not help but comfort marian when she eventually confided in him the struggles she had with her marriage to roderick and one day she confessed how she was afraid of what might happen to her if she did not give him a child and it was in this moment of weakness that bartholomew let his feelings for marian cloud his judgement

nine months later when marian birthed a son, bartholomew knew it was his ...

has tried to be a father-figure and mentor towards roderick’s other children, as he knows roderick’s duties often leave his own children neglected -- however when it comes to arthur, bartholomew has said firmly away as not to allow for any suspicions to ever fall upon him

instead, bartholomew has become close with sebastian, in whom he sees a lot of himself and both understand what it is to be a brother to a future king, all while having no desire to ever usurp their position

bartholomew considers it his duty to advise roderick to do what he feels is the best course of action, but at the end of the day, he will follow his king’s commands

however, when it came to invading astaira, bartholomew was hesitant – both because his wife was born there and because he is no stranger to the tales she would tell of what might happen if ever the guardians were neglected. while he has never practiced his wife’s religion, worry prays on his mind on what might happen to them all if her stories proved to be true …

OPEN.

[fearsmagazine]

CONSECRATION | Trailer, Poster & Images

After the suspicious death of her brother, a priest, Grace (Jena Malone) goes to the Mount Saviour Convent in Scotland to find out what really happened. Once there, she uncovers murder, sacrilege and a disturbing truth about her own past.

Danny Huston as “Father Romero” in Christopher Smith’s CONSECRATION. Courtesy of IFC Midnight. An IFC Midnight Release.

Co-writer and director Christopher Smith, co-writer Laurie Cook, and staring Jena Malone, Danny Huston, Dame Janet Suzman, and Thoren Ferguson. From IFC Films and Shudder, in theaters February 10th, 2023.

Danny Huston as “Father Romero” in Christopher Smith’s CONSECRATION. Courtesy of IFC Midnight. An IFC Midnight Release.

Christopher Smith is a highly established British filmmaker having directed some of Britain's most popular genre films to date. In 2004, Chris wrote and directed his debut, Creep, a horror film that follows a woman trapped on the London underground whilst being hunted by a mysterious attacker. His next film was the comedy-horror Severance, which screened at festivals all over the world. In 2009, Chris directed the mystery-thriller, Triangle, followed by the epic medieval action thriller Black Death in 2010, which starred Eddie Redmayne and Sean Bean. Chris then went onto write and direct the family-comedy, Get Santa, starring Jim Broadbent, followed by Detour in 2016.

Jena Malone as “Grace” in Christopher Smith’s CONSECRATION. Courtesy of IFC Midnight. An IFC Midnight Release.

Recently, Smith has been focusing on TV, directing episodes of Sony's highly anticipated TV reboot of Anthony Horowitz's "Alex Rider," and Sky's "Temple." Returning to the horror genre Smith directed The Banishing starring Jessica Brown Findlay and Sean Harris. Set in the 1930s, the film follows a family moving into their new home and the horrors that unfold.

[kittensintinytophats]

So @donnovien and I were chatting about Arthur’s bad habit of dying multiple times and she joked about how he’s trying to surpass the king of on screen deaths, Sean Bean. I jokingly said that if he was 30 years younger he’d be perfect for a Malevolent live-action remake, but I looked up young Sean Bean and it actually kinda works? 

like look at these pics and tell me that’s not Arthur Lester

[reddeaddamnation]

How they realized they have feelings for you: Red Dead Redemption 2

Arthur: He fell for you when you had your first personal talk and shared more and more facts about yourselves. He fell in love with your laugh and the way you looked at him while he was talking. He anticipates when you go on missions together because he likes being close to you and to protect you. Husband material: 7/10 (he is actually scared of love because of Mary)

John: When you had a job together and had to go undercover and he presented you as his wife. He found himself liking the idea, especially after the previous evening when he found himself staring at you while you laughed with the gang around the campfire. Apart from that, you bring the calmness and harmony he longed for. Husband material: 5/10 (kinda irresponsible, disappears for weeks, can't handle any pressure)

Javier: He fell in love with the way you sung along and danced to his songs. He just generally loves watching you be happy and have fun. He will gradually start talking to you more and even throw in a playful flirt from time to time. Husband material: 6/10 (would probably leave you for Dutch sorry)

Charles: He fell for you when you cheered him up when he was in a bad mood one day. You took a long walk in the woods and he found out he liked your company, your voice, your smile. You bring him calmness and harmony and the appreciation he desires. Husband material: 10/10 (everything you would want in a husband - kind, caring, respectful, emotionally invested and serious about your relationship)

Sean: You can tell this smol bean is head over heels for you when he is constantly following you around and babbling about everything and anything because he wants your attention to be on him and him alone. And if you don't give him the needed attention, he will sulk and mope all day. Husband material: 6/10 (never shuts up and would probably run only at the mention of marriage)

Lenny: He actually keeps his cool and plays it sleek, charming you with words and actions. You remember that cowboy scene from Tom and Jerry where Tom was courting the white cat with smooth moves? That's our sweet boy Lenny right there. Husband material: 7/10 (he loves you but he wouldn't wanna get married any time soon. He'sjust not ready for that step)

Dutch: He fell for you when he got to know you intellectually. He could spend all day and night talking about the philosophy and plots in various books with you. He is a man who is attracted to someone who has class and intellectual baggage. Husband material: 4/10 (kinda manipulative, would drive you insane, would probably cheat as one of his many aliases and call it business)

Micah: He fell for you after flirting with you as a joke and it slowly turned into something more sincere. He found himself getting jealous when you talk to other men and would literally threaten anyone who catcalls you. He wouldn't leave you alone until you accept his proposals. Husband material: 2/10 (WHY) (Hunny you know he gonna cheat for fun)

Kieran: He fell in love with you when you stood up for him when Micah and Bill were bullying him again. He was literally bedazzled by the kindness you showed him and after that, he would talk to you at any given chance and never miss to say thank you. Stutters and blushes a lot but also thinks he isn't good enough for you. Husband material: 6-7/10 (you will definitely be the initiative one, he falls in love way too easily and will propose marriage as soon as possible but no shame if you're into that)

Sadie: She fell in love with you gradually after getting to know you better and found that your personalities are compatible after several jobs together. She actually takes a long time falling in love with someone or at least until she is sure of her feelings and ready to speak up about them. Wifey material: 10/10 (literally perfect)

[trainsinanime]

Black Widow vs James Bond

A while ago I mused about writing this post, and then someone (I think @into-september ) told me they’d like to read it, so… I promptly forgot. But here it is now: A comparison of the movie ���Black Widow” versus the James Bond franchise, and why I think Black Widow is the best James Bond movie lately, despite not technically being one.

First a quick summary of Black Widow, with full spoilers obviously: We start in 1995 in Ohio, where Natasha Romanoff is like fifteen years old. She lives with two older spies, who act like her parents, and a younger spy (Yelena), who acts like her sister, all deep undercover. Then her parent spies steal some secret intel and they all escape.

Then over a period of many years Natasha and Yelena are tortured and brainwashed by the Red Room into super spies. Natasha eventually escapes and becomes the token girl of the Avengers.

The movie proper starts when Yelena receives some anti-mind-control gas, turns good, and after some back and forth, she and Natasha team up to free all of the other mind-controlled assassins like them, together with the spies that formerly acted as their parents.

The whole story involves betrayals, magic face masks, people giving themselves brain damage on purpose, comic weirdness and some scenes that feel like they were stolen from video game cinematics.

The basic themes of the movie, though, are that Natasha must learn to accept that their spy unit was not just a spy unit, it was a family, even if it was slightly dysfunctional, while the other members of her family must learn to accept that what they were doing to Natasha and Yelena was wrong and apologise for it.

All in all, good movie, but not overwhelming in any regards. Not even the best Marvel movie where the main character must process their childhood trauma and come to a new understanding of what their family means, with all the good and bad (that would have been Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 2). It also has relatively little of the "that just happened" style of humour that everybody here pretends to hate even though we know it is the peak of comedy and love it. It is well known for that one scene where Natasha and Yelena are sitting in a bar trying to hash out their childhood traumas, which was shot entirely in front of a green screen for some reason (the most popular theory being that the carpenters who build the sets are union labourers, but VFX artists are not).

So, this doesn't sound a lot like James Bond, and in fact, it isn't, which is probably a huge part of why it's good. However, visually and structurally, the movie lives deep in Bond territory. The specific point of comparison I'm going to keep coming back to is Goldeneye.

The plot of that movie is that at the start, James Bond (played by Pierce Brosnan) and Sean Bean are on a secret mission for England on top of some Soviet dam. They get caught, James makes it out, Sean Bean is  captured and we believe shot. After an opening sequence with one of the best James Bond theme songs of all time, it's nine years later, the Soviet Union is gone, and James Bond tries to prevent Famke Janssen from stealing an attack helicopter but fails. His investigation leads him to Saint Petersburg and to the Russian general who shot Sean Bean. He discovers that Sean Bean is actually alive and is masterminding the whole plot, leading to a showdown on Cuba, while a 1990s computer hacking subplot is going on in the background. Easily one of the most coherent and most character driven Bond movies, but also with some great humour and action sequences, it remains one of my favourite Bond movies of all time.

Plot wise, there is not a lot of similarity, but in terms of style and themes, it's actually fairly close.

For example, the time skip where Natasha and Yelena are tortured and turned into super-spy assassins is a proper title sequence, just like James Bond does, together with a title song. It's a slow cover of Smells Like Teen Spirit, which is okay, but can't hold a candle to Tina Turner. It's not even the best Bond-style opening on a Marvel movie; that honour goes to Celine Dion in Deadpool 2.

The action sequences in Black Widow are very much Bond style, with a focus on hand-to-hand combat and awesome vehicle chase scenes through beautiful eastern European cities (Saint Petersburg in Goldeneye, Budapest here). Both also feature crumbling soviet infrastructure with the odd remaining pieces of grandeur as crucial locations. And both movies feature obvious bordering on obnoxious product placement by BMW.

The end gets a bit silly in Black Widow, but then, in Goldeneye, Sean Bean got dropped into the Arecibo Telescope (RIP) and the plot does involve an evil satellite, so it's more a difference in what the movie could afford than in what it wanted to do.

Both movies have a style that is a similar blend of serious and funny, with Black Widow being slightly more serious, but only slightly. There is still enough of the great "well that happened" or quippy style of humour that everybody keeps pretending, even though they secretly love it. (Yes, I am serious: There are problems with the MCU, but this style of humour is not one of them, and I will die on this hill.) And that is a style of humour that has always been in a similar ballpark to where James Bond lives.

Thematically, both deal with the end of the Cold War, and the main antagonist is a general who is disappointed with the modern world where he is no longer in power. You might think that wouldn't make sense in Black Widow considering that even its backstory is very firmly set in 1995, after the Cold War ended in real life. And indeed, it doesn't, if you think about it, but the movie kind of skips over that part and hopes you won't notice.

And in case all that isn't enough, Black Widow specifically goes out of its way and personally asks you to compare it to James Bond, by having Natasha watch Moonraker at one point during the story.

So what are the differences? Weirdly enough, the fact that Natasha worked for the Russians while Bond is British is not really a crucial one. Natasha definitely has a different perspective than Bond, but that doesn't really matter because Bond doesn't have much of a perspective on anything himself, other than friends, enemies and love interests.

Really, that is the main crucial thing: Personality. Bond really doesn't have any personality. He's more here to be a tour guide through the movie, showing us all the cool stuff that the production team came up with this time. They try to make him a character at times, and Goldeneye, with the crucial relationship with Sean Bean, is certainly one of the better and more realised examples of the Bond movies, especially of the Brosnan era. However, Black Widow and in fact the entire MCU are on a whole other level. While I'm not the biggest fan of every single MCU character, all of them have way more backstory, character flaws and just plain humanity than even the best version of James Bond (which might just be Pierce Brosnan in Goldeneye, largely because Sean Bean helps a lot).

This sounds like I'm down on James Bond, and… well, yeah. I like the Bond movies, but I'm never going to say they're actually any good. They are mindless childish fun, and that's what I love them for, but it really doesn't go beyond that. It can be very interesting to hear people discuss what these movies say about the society that made them. But James Bond as a concept is just too limited to tell really deep stories. The MCU is playing in the exact same sort of space, and its characters, relationships and plots are not always great masterpieces, but it is always leaps and bounds above James Bond.

This takes a lot of different forms in this movie. The first and biggest is Natasha herself. She is a fully formed character with a past full of regrets and things that she needs to work through.

That's kind of a basic bar to clear, but James Bond doesn't really have that. Seeing Sean Bean get shot in the cold open is not really a big regret, just a thing he thought was not good. There is no character arc for him, nothing to overcome. Once he knows Sean Bean is alive he also immediately knows that he's bad guy who must be stopped, and he immediately tries his best at that, until he finally succeeds. He has learned nothing and hasn't changed as a character, but he did have fun doing that.

The other big thing is that this is a story about family, and it really works. Here we have to depart Goldeneye for a moment, because James Bond there has no past and no family. But then we got this big slate of movies where the main character suddenly had daddy issues, including Star Trek, the Andrew Garfield Spiderman movies or that last Jason Bourne movie. The James Bond franchise, dedicated to avoiding original thoughts as it was, followed suit. It also introduced a brother and a complicated relationship with an adoptive father back in Spectre, and, uh, it sucked.

The thing is that it introduced a family for James Bond, but it was never about the family. Going "Christoph Waltz is your brother actually" was there to shock us, not to give anything more depth or motivate the story further. Bond and Waltz's relationship was a strictly professional one between government assassin and slightly too obsessed gay coded villain. It didn't change, it didn't reveal anything, and it wasn't meaningful. If Waltz had instead been the shop owner of James Bond's favourite Aston Martin dealership, it would have had exactly the same impact.

Later, in No Time To Die, James Bond has a relationship with a woman, then splits from her when she won't tell him her terrible secret (she met a weird guy once; it's unclear why she won't tell him that, but he's still an asshole about it either way). Later they meet again and he learns that he has a little daughter who only speaks french.

In that movie, that new family serves as a motivating factor, but that's about it. His relationship with either his girlfriend or his daughter doesn't really develop in any meaningful way.

Black Widow is firmly a family story first, where Natasha must learn to accept that her fake family was actually real to her, while the other members of this family must understand how much they hurt each other. And it does that really well. Many of the most meaningful scenes are characters talking about their past with each other; not to reveal shocking new twists and turns, but to get to know each other, reconnect, and decontextualise their memories until they can finally forgive each other. It just works.

(Aside: What is missing from Black Widow is any sort of love interest, unlike James Bond. I think that makes sense, having a love interest would undercut the story and it's completely unnecessary. But it is notable how relatively sex-less the Marvel movies are in general, compared to Bond. I'm not saying it's good or bad, it's just notable that Marvel is part of what seems to be a general trend here.)

So, these are a lot of words, but I feel like I already said the most relevant conclusion at the top: Black Widow is the best James Bond movie because it's not a James Bond movie. Not in the sense that James Bond isn't in it, that's actually rather secondary. It is structurally a completely different, more interesting and deeper movie (relatively speaking) that wears the style of James Bond as a fancy coat. And that turns out to be a combination that works really well.

[watching-pictures-move]

Movie Review | Skinny Tiger, Fatty Dragon (Lau, 1990)

This review contains mild spoilers.

I’ve seen Carrie Ng in a few films now, and I’m afraid to say that she’s becoming a sort of Sean Bean for Hong Kong cinema. If she shows up in the movie, there’s a good chance things don’t end well for her. And it’s not just her eventual fate, but the demeaning nature of her treatment that seems to be a recurring theme. I have to wonder if casting directors in Hong Kong in the ‘90s kept her on speed dial in case they came across a script where a female character is treated horribly. Despite the title, Naked Killer is probably the most empowering role I’ve seen her in. That movie delivers the expected thrills of a Category III movie, but is less sleazy than you might expect. Some of its pleasures include getting to see Carrie Ng and her foil Chingmy Yau in great looking hats. Also all the stylish action and appreciative (okay, leering, but less leering than it could have been) camerawork and whatnot. Guys, watch Naked Killer.

But in Rock’n’Roll Cop, Angel Terminators and here, she’s granted the least ceremonious of character arcs. In those other two, she at least brings a certain dignity to her characters in the face of great cruelty. Here, she’s not even allowed to be sympathetic. Here, as we meet her, she gets groped by the heroes (who are looking for a villain disguised as a woman smuggling drugs and/or cash in his bra) and is made to look like the bad guy when she presses charges against them for sexual harassment. Now, she does pal around with the bad guys and doesn’t express too many concerns about it until much later, but she’s totally in the right to press charges against these guys, sorry.

Even aside from the groping, the heroes are not exactly what you’d call “by the book”. The opening scene establishes this quality, in which they intimidate a few attempted robbers for information, agree to let them go and then immediately have them caught by nearby patrolmen. The rest of the movie has them doing things like the aforementioned groping, beating the shit out of suspects, placing bugs without a warrant and trying to profit from their busts. And I’m not proud to admit that I had a great time with this and laughed all the way through. The best point of comparison is probably Bad Boys II, which similarly asks us to root for cops who behave abominably while delivering ably on action movie thrills. It took me a while to come around to that movie (I made a point of revisiting it a few times, perhaps out of cinematic Stockholm Syndrome, but also a growing appreciation for Michael Bay) whereas I readily embraced this.

Why? For one thing, my tastes have substantially deteriorated over the years. But also, I think the Hong Kong context gives this a very different energy than the other film. Bay’s movie is a work of relatively lavish, large scale spectacle. This one takes place in busy streets and back alleys, the urban environment giving the proceedings a certain claustrophobic charge. And there’s the political element too, with the impending handover, ineffectual institutions completely useless in stopping crime, and the heroes’ superior treating his assignment with total irreverence, making the “up yours” gesture anytime he thinks someone isn’t watching. If you’re gonna slot this in a double feature, I would recommend not Bad Boys II, but Live Like a Cop, Die Like a Man, Ruggero Deodato’s poliziotteschi that repurposes the director’s usual sadism for lizard brain thrills in an atmosphere of violence.

Like those other movies, a big chunk of the movie’s success can be attributed to the magnetism of the leads, with the rubber-faced Karl Maka and the slightly more genial Sammo Hung making the irresponsible pleasures of the movie completely infectious. There’s even a scene where Maka sings and Sammo shows off his dance movies that does absolutely nothing to further the plot but is completely charming. This is despite the fact that the scene occurs during a trip to Singapore when the heroes contemplate settling down with some local girls and opening a bar, even though Maka already has a girlfriend. Said girlfriend is played by Wanda Yung and is much too patient given his blatant bad behaviour and fear of commitment (he pretends to fall asleep anytime she asks about marriage and has his pager conveniently go off so he can leave). But I suppose lousy treatment of women is a recurring theme in this, and Yung is pretty funny in the role.

And of course, this has its share of great action sequences, including an eventual showdown with director Lau Kar-Wing, who is much more agile than his character’s age would suggest. But I suppose Sammo is much more agile than his stature would suggest, so this is a film of surprises. Sammo also does some Bruce Lee inspired shtick in his fight scenes, which might make sense in the context of his career (he made a Bruceploitation parody called Enter the Fat Dragon and also did the imitation Bruce Lee fight choreography in Game of Death), but is not at all explained in the movie. The important thing is that it’s another fun thing in the already very fun action scenes.

So yeah, this is a great time, even if you’ll be saying “yikes!” every other scene.