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some bobbles (+ two unfinished things)
#bonk.png#undescribed#exocolonist#i was a teenage exocolonist#iwatec#iwatex#anyway first thing bc its the shortest i dont think sol would actually id as anything n prefer to be unlabeled#bc of like. the timeloop stuff n every life kind of blending together BUT i think it'd be funny as hell if they were aro#n just never became aware of this bc their self reflection skills in regards to shit unrelated to the loop are That Bad#also im aro n like when characters are aro + love it when characters are kind of deranged about their friends#speaking of which madoka au! forever ago i drew the 🤝 meme with sol n homura n now im coming back to that#its not a 1 to 1 au straight up the commonalities begin n end at ''tammy & sol are kind of like madoka/homura''#stuff i got down for it in a sleep deprived haze were that sol nemmie n tangent were the only magical girls#n tammy hasnt been offered to become one nemmie n tangent arent aware that sol is a magical girl for a while#friendgroup at school is nemmie cal tammy n sol (tangent goes to a different school n is separate until she teams up with nemmie)#nemmie n tang team up bc somehow witch attacks keep being diverted from certain locations n grief seeds are disappearing#which is actually sol's doing theyre moving witches away from areas tammy will be n the grief seeds are to 1. discourage nem n tang from#fighting witches n 2. so sol can stockpile them basically bc they use timetravel a lot n need to keep their gem clean#the timeloop has progress (to an extent) its not a singular month looping its kind of like. video game save mechanics#like reloading the save u have before a bossfight n then if ur not adequately prepared reloading a save u have farther back#n then continuing on until u get stuck on a specific fight again yknow#theres more but moving on to the two unfinished things those are meant to be like a utdr au (specifically dr)#in a similar manner to the previous au of same premise n setting but different story bc theyre different characters#there's a lot less set for this au its entirely just playing in the sand n has nothing beyond vague role assignments#the first one that's like lineart in different colors is entirely scrapped bc i didnt like how it was turning out (meant to be darkworld fit#second one i struggled BADLY with marz oh my god this au is literally primarily for having fun with character designs but oh my god.#as it says there shes meant to be a modern art styled metal monster (got the metal idea from her dads' names n the modern art bc shesrefined#n sleek) but i had no actual idea how to convey that n i was trying to tackle it from a pixel art angle this time n i could notfigure it out#n then nomi nomi was super easy literally didnt even sketch them theyre a tiny pixie im sorry marz T-T#probably not gonna touch on this stuff again cause i was fixing on exo to avoid thinking about my bday but its happened so im fine now 👍
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dont mind me. im simply just putting together a ludgercasey angst collection.
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#''why cant u be normal abt them'' how can i be normal abt them when solid 80% of their interactions is either angst or stemmed from angst.#even their ''fluff'' moments were also angst.#literally no one does angst like they do.#ludger prefers to keep most of his connections extremely impersonal/professional.#but whether or not he wants to admit it theirs on the other hand simply does not... fit in that category.#he'd even tried to convert it that way but it just didnt stick bc neither of them could help but be themselves around each other lmfao.#ludger is seemly still oblivious to caseys attempt to mend their personal relationship.#which is not too surprising considering he was also oblivious to the existence of their past relationship.#after all there was no reason for him to believe that casey would want to have anything to do with him. except maybe putting him in jail.#so pushing her away seems to be the most logical decision right? personal relationship is a luxury to him anyway.#alas casey who wanted to believe in their past friendship takes it as a sign that ludger has no interest in maintaining it.#she now has to take a step back because ''if you force a relationship it may become more estranged.''#so unless he takes the initiative they are likely stuck in this limbo.#(casey might use impersonal excuses to stay around but rn its all up to ludger to change the nature of their relationship)#casey girlie forget him i would have treated you so much better... is what i would have loved to say.#i wouldnt be suffering this much if ludger wasnt clearly holding himself back most of the time / if it was completely one-sided from casey.#i dont know if this is a slow burn or hurt no comfort but if casey gets no closure im gonna commit arson 😔#aro ludgercasey propaganda#selmore's undercover husband
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RE danganronpa not having the best writing I was talking to a friend the other day about v3 about how it sucks that they set up Kaede to be the protagonist but then killed her off because while yes, Shuichi is a very good protagonist and he’s the only one that really gets interesting character development, Kaede could have so easily been an insanely interesting protagonist if she got to live because she has plenty of room to grow since she’s very clearly scared shitless and is deeply insecure about her ability to motivate and lead the group, but she smiles through it and lies about her feelings so much that the player doesn’t even know about her creating an elaborate murder scheme. And I realized that the way to keep her as a protagonist is for there to be a way that the first trial ends and someone else is found to be the killer (for example it could be Tsumugi if she weren’t the mastermind, or maybe someone else was in the library and killed Rantaro) and they get executed and thats that. Then at the end of the chapter we get a scene where Kaede is alone in her room and sighs in relief as it’s revealed that she hatched an elaborate plan to kill the mastermind but she wasn’t found guilty, either because she wasn’t the actual killer or because she was being protected by the mastermind. And so we the player have to proceed with the new knowledge that Kaede not only wanted to kill someone, she actually went through with a whole plan to kill someone and we didn’t even know about it and neither did any of the characters. And Kaede is on edge because on one hand she has to live with the fact that she was perfectly okay becoming a killer and that she failed to kill the mastermind so the game is going to continue and someone else was unlucky and got executed instead of her,but on the other hand she’s relieved that she wasn’t the one who died and that she was given another chance to find the true mastermind and no one has to know what she did. And as the game progresses it gets more and more stressful for her because she tries to keep up the positive energy but she’s living with this massive secret and she can’t let anyone find out about what she did and she finds herself still wanting to kill the mastermind so we the player don’t know how much we can trust Kaede anymore since she’s lying to everyone including us and she can very well kill again if she wants to
#danganronpa#kaede akamatsu#of course we couldnt have something like this happen cuz yay misogyny killed kaede and also like mentioned#dr doesnt have good enough writing to pull this off lol#yttd is at least able to pull something similar off with sara so at least i have that but still god like can you IMAGINE#how good v3 wouldve been if it had done this and like what i think is really fun is like#shuichi figuring it out cuz you know he would hed know in the first trial but in this version doesnt say anything#and he doesnt have to cuz kaede conveniently isnt the culprit#but like now hes stuck with this knowledge that she so easily couldve been#and you know shuichi is just like that last person shed want to know about this#but shed also be eaten alive by guilt from keeping it from him cuz she trusts him most and was the one encouraging him to pursue the truth#even if its unpleasant#so i like to imagine one of two scenarios like either shuichi eventually confronts kaede about this after shes become a bit more corrupt#and he plans to tell and shes forced to kill him to keep her secret#or a scenario where shuichi chooses to protect kaede over the truth and he becomes her accomplice#both scenarios would fuck up kaede quite a bit#and then i guess itd be really interesting to see if she becomes more and more corrupt and eventually does get executed#or if she owns up to her mistakes and decides to reveal her truth that shes actually fucking terrified#and she doesnt have as much control as she wants to and she has no clue if its gonna be okay#i think that would fit so good with the truth/lie theme too#goddddd like im so mad now cuz this is just like so good like why cant dr just be good its so easy
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Like just single dad space cowboy Lance au, that keeps rotating in my head, absolute bullshit but just know it is inspired by Smokin Joe Rudeboy by Tom Cardy
#It is such a funny au (to me) nothing makes sense#Basically it starts with s2 Shiro survives Zarkon dies but Black Lion is also VERY damaged=>#This leads to the war to be in bit of a standstill for few years=>#Keith still does his whole went with BoM missions thing =>#At some point with more years later there is a major fight that breaks up the team =>#Lance runs away and gets stuck in what is essentially the Mid Western Cowboy theme part of the universe =>#(It is a very big part of the universe btw) =>#He lives a few more years as an outlaw travelling from one yeehaw planet to another yeehaw planet =>#And then meets this very feral 11 year old who is on a hunt to fight her shitty ass dead beat dad=>#Lance who hasnt seen any of his friends or family in years is like 'is anyone gonna adopt this child?' and didnt wait for an answer =>#But yeah this girl is familiar and Hang On!! =>#Yeah so her dead beat dad turns out to be Keith. Now she cld be a clone (makes more sense) or result of a one night stand (funnier) =>#But point is she really wants to fucking fight him and Lance is like 'ok how about you just tell him to fuck off instead?' =>#Also Kuron is there. Lance found him and Kuron was like 'Lance you found me! It has been years dont you remember i am Shiro!!'#And Lance who has been ghosting Shiro for years is like 'no you are not?' clone revealations. Not fun. Anyway the au isnt even about that#It is about Keith's pre teen daughter who wants to kick his ass and Lance who is like please calm down kid and Kuron who is just so confuse#and they are all cowboys#lance mcclain#lance voltron#lance serrano#takashi shirogane#keith kogane#keith voltron#kuron#voltron kuron#voltron#voltron legendary defender#empty thoughts
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Nope, I'm still crying
#i wish literally anybody from school remembered me#literally only 2 people i was friends with hace talked to me in the past four years#i had the realization tonight that i was never given the choice to nurture most of my friendships#everytime i tried outside of school hours including trying to join clubs my mom would make me leave halfway through then lecture me#that she didn't have time to drive to town and get me#but as soon as my brother wanted to join junior air force she suddenly had all the time and energy in the world to devote to that#so what I'm getting here is that my friendships and interests weren't important enough or worth her time#i wasn't interested in Junior air force 1 cause it wasn't offered to me and 2 I'm not a boit licker#no#i was interested in the video game and board game clubs cause my friends were in them and they WANTED me to join#but after not getting to stay for more than one full session after a month i left the board game club cause it wasn't fair to the others#and i only went to the video game clu once and i don't remember much of it cause i was too anxious that she was gonna flip on me#i kept waiting for her text but instead she showed up at the classroom and made me leave#so when the same teacher that ran the board game club asked if i wanted to join the chess club cause he knew i liked chess#i told him i couldn't cause i was too busy because i didn't want to deal with begging my mom to let me join#she would have said yes but would have continued not letting me stay and being super passive aggressive#I'm not even in the year book for the year my friends graduated#the one thing she did let me do was drama and i hated every second of it. it was genuinely a bad experience for me#yeah i had friends in drama but it's not the same as hanging with my nerdy guy friends playing a star wars ttrpg#the worst part is she gets so defensive when i bring it up and won't give me a reason outside of 'I guess I'm just the worst parent'#it's in those moments i really remember she's the youngest in her family#OH!! it gets worse! she told me when i was younger that she had to be an honorary cheer leader cause HER MOM absolutely refused to#let her join cheer and she's alsways been bitter about it but then she turns around and did basically the same thing to me ffs#at least she was allowed to hang out with people after-school i wasn't allowed to do that either#no. instead i spent the hours after shcool alone most days and my weekends home alone in my room. and she wonders why my social skills are#maybe if I'd been allowed to work on my relationships outside of a classroom i wouldn't have felt so abandoned when everyone i knew#graduated without me. maybe if i didn't have to start back at square one socially again and had people to text and hang with after class#i wouldn't have dropped out. and i think only atlas knows i dropped out. idk how to text these people without spunding like I'm looking for#sympathy when they ask what I'm up to. like yeah I'm stuck at home with an anxiety disorder and unemployed trying to get on disability#prisma vents
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You asked for a fic rec so I’ll toss this one at ya: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46767358?view_full_work=true Stick through the formatting for the characterization, tone, and really the whole vibe of this fic. I haven’t been able to get the bathroom call between Daigo and Majima out of my head for weeks since I read it with how naturally it all flows. My own little Daigo characterization booklet to review when I feel like I need a refresher on him.
so I may have stayed up until 6am reading this (would’ve slept earlier but I couldn’t stop reading it) and hgggahaghhhhaggahshhhhhhhh that was one of the most well-characterized fics I’ve ever read what the fuck. like the differences in how each character speaks (both tone-wise and in differing levels of authenticity) and how they speak to specific others (the daigo and majima dyanmic specifically- how they actually take into account how long they’ve been working really closely- SO good), the mental anguish and chaos vs the overwhelming emptiness of being daigo dojima but no longer The 6th Chairman Daigo Dojima……….I could keep going but I think you get it.
tbh I’d been wanting to write something exploring a similar set of dynamics/situation (post-kiryu’s fake death, interactions with haruka, daigo, and/or majima specifically, reflecting on his shortcomings while acknowledging the heavy Grief left behind) but now I’m like. well I still could but this was so well written in regards to daigo and haruka that, as far as something between those two goes, I don’t feel the need to.
thanks for the recommendation! my brain is broken now (affectionate)
#rambling#fics#fic rec#there’s a little bit of minedai in there via flashback but I don’t know if im gonna put this in my minedai tag cause it’s really#not tecccchnically a minedai fic. it’s just. a daigo-centric fic/study more than anything#my favorite more lighthearted moment in this story is daigo talking to haruka in Okinawa after like 3 years and hearing about her#‘situationship’ with yuta and how it’s just more convenient to tell people they’re a legit couple and daigo’s immediate response on impulse#is just. ‘that must be nice. I mean that you can do that. if it were two guys or two girls or something you wouldn’t be able to do that.’#or something like that and simultaneously sweating because he has no fucking idea why he’s saying that and can’t find a way to abort#my only critique is that I was hoping he’d come out to her (probably on the scene after that where it’s just them sitting on the deck)#and it wouldn’t even have to be a Big Thing it’s just. it felt like it was leading up to that (whether coming out on purpose or on accident)#but ah well#don’t get me wrong I think she could probably figure it out on her own based on the fact that daigo’s never had a girlfriend to her#knowledge and is in his 40s + that weird little gay tangent he went on earlier out of the blue#if anyone could pick it up though context clues and hints it’d be haruka and akiyama The Investigators. and oh no. looks like that’s#exactly who he’s stuck with#id love to see an update cause of this oh mannnn#(if anyone could pick it up it’d be those two + also majima but I kinda figured at this point majima would almost certainly already know#they seem like they have a mutual (possibly unspoken) recognition of one another on that front. based a little on what daigo says about#‘when kiryu says jump you say how high��� and majima floundering a little before admitting ‘you know I can’t resist those big#brown puppydog eyes…’ like i know that’s not too on the nose but it’s enough of a casual acknowledgement to Me that it feels… idk it just#feels like they Know. it just makes sense. and I hope they do cause it’d feel a little less lonely and terrifying to be gay in that world if#that were the case. yet another thing making it feel like majima’s a way more viable parent figure to him than kiryu fr fr……#anyway I could keep going forever so I should probably stop#I’ve never considered how daigo would interact with akiyama and now they’ve got me intrigued. I really hope they update this with something#daigo#I really think a chunk of this fanbase (particularly The Queers) understand daigo as a character better than rgg studio does. and cares more
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been laying here listening to Lucky by Dermot Kennedy on loop for half an hour while thinking about Everything Stays and crying
#it’s good crying dw i am just. i have so many feelings about this story#Seven’s Celestial Commentary#Everything Stays#writing stuff#i may be stuck in bed struggling to type due to personal reasons but that will Not stop me from cooking up ideas for this fic#there is gonna be so much fucking angst and it’s gonna hurt soooooo good#the more i listen to it the more the possibilities expand#i can easily see Moon and Reader going back and forth between verses vulnerably arguing over Sun#but i can also see it being Sun and Moon getting real and discussingcougharguingover Reader#can’t decide which i like more#god i wish y’all could see this story the way it plays out in my head#next best thing would be to keep writing and sharing the story instead of vagueposting abt future plot points tho wouldn’t it lmao#and GOD don’t even get me fucking STARTED on Two Hearts…#Dermot Kennedy’s music is responsible for yet Another plot point for this story and i can’t even be mad about it. his fucking lyricsss dude#‘and so we jump to the THEATER??? in that SAME OLD TOWN???’ DO WE? FUCK I GUESS WE DO NOW!!!#picture me listening to that song and inspiration hitting me like a truck. diligently taking notes like the lyrics r instructions from God#‘she sees his face?? and HE sees HER as the LIGHTS GO DOWN???’ write that down write that down#‘the life that they should’ve had sat between them that night??’ FUCK Man yeah it sure did!!!#anyways it’s chill i’m chill. i’m very normal about my little stories and their musical inspirations!#and i’ve listened to these songs a very normal amount (translation: they will likely be in my top ten for the 2024 wrapped)#(cut to the scenes playing vividly in my head) ‘Well‚ at least I can always say that I /told/ her!’#‘I can’t relate to having a heart like that‚ Sun! With all of your wonder and your trust intact…’#like no i wouldn’t lift the lyrics directly for the song to use as dialogue but FUCk does it work well.. Lucky is such a good script for-#like- a heated conversation between my Relentlessly Positive Sun and my Apathetic Jaded Moon#‘How could our farewell mean as much as our time? Honey‚ I’ll be gone. It’s better if I’m something that you leave behind.’#‘I used to paint these trees‚ now I just scream at the sky. Honey I was wrong. Guess there’s certain things you never leave behind.’#*sobbing shaking throwing up clawing at the walls* I Am Normal About These Characters#anyways uh. on an unrelated note how many song lyrics do ya think i can cram into ES before it’s Too Many#gonna have to start getting creative with how i can incorporate more songs in a way that feels natural and not forced#even tho i am forcing it. i am forcing it very much bc i have songs with applicable lyrics and y’all Will read them one way or another
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Cozy rooms can be a double edged sword cuz one hand it is my sanctuary but on the other hand it relaxes me so much I never wanna move unless necessary
#making your room into your sanctuary takes some serious time and I’ve been here for almost a year now#and rn it’s just me trying to donate more clothes that I never bought but ended up in my room cuz I don’t need them#and so I can get rid of the dressers cuz I hate having so many bits of furniture I don’t want#but at least my grandma wants to empty tf out the garage so I can get some of my stuff that got chucked in there#😭😭 I’ll finally be able to use my rengoku and Tengen mugs again#and I can even reach the 4 candles I know someone stuck in the garage when I left them in my room#ooo and I can find the vinyls and maybe hit up a thrift store to see if anyone’s donated a record player#but that’ll probably come after I get myself a dvd player and a stand to prop my tv on#cuz for some reason my tv has this little ball sack of a recover point that juts out under the tv#and I don’t think any dvd player will fit with that thing in the way#but yeah she wants to empty the garage and I want to get rid of shit too so we’re gonna be having a garage sale soon I hope#and I even suspect that someone threw my kpop posters in the garage too but most of them were in the tube except maybe 1 or 2#so I think they’d be safe for the most part but if not I’m gonna be mad that they got ruined when people know how easy it is to ruin posters
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#horse.txt#vent //#bro there is absolutely nothing worse than being pre t. like you think its Just gonna be about being sad bc dysphoria but no#no instead i have this evil fucking bitch it my head who gets?? pissed OFF? when i see other people on T living their best lives?#bc it just feels so fucking impossible. i know she didnt but istg sometimes it feels like me mom wanted to move to florida on purpose#because shes so fucking invested in me being a girl because shes feels like im fucking REJECTING HER by not wanti g to be a woman.#and now we're here and she Says shit sucks and she hates how florida is just Full of bigots but in such a fucking. 'aw well! <:)' way#'it doesn't affect Us and it costs too much money to leave and anyway yiu promised to wait till 25!' fuck you fuck you fuck you i fucking ha#te you#i know im not and ill get there eventually but i feel so fucking STUCK like ive fucking fallen behind and i cant keep up#and everyones getting facialhair and their voices are deeper and im still just fucking frozen. like congratulations i love you im happy for#you but i still have to wait three more fucking years to even Hope for the chance of getting my moms fucking Help with this#three more years of feeling like a fucking stranger in my own body im so FUCKING tired and im so fucking angry#i feel like such a fucking asshole but its all i can fucking thing sometimes. im just so fucking mad
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fuck dude i have got to find a job where i can be self-employed and creative. i cannot be in fucking retail hell anymore
#she bork#tbd#like now i don't deal w customers which is cool but now that i work at like a big retail store and not a little mall outlet the pressure is#insane. and i have bosses who never say good job or thank you and who have set me up to fail by throwing a department on me that i was not#hired to run or trained for and frankly don't have time to run properly either. so every week just starts w me in our weekly meeting being a#fucking piñata like 'why didn't you get this done 🤨 you need to manage your time better 🤨 you're losing sales 🤨' and i'm like i'm trying!!!!#what more can i do!!!!!! and then the side of it i actually kind of enjoy (which is what i was originally hired to do) is very very hard on#my body bc it's a very physical job (i run the team that unloads the trucks every day and like i'm usually helping unload bc i'm not just#gonna stand there and watch while my team busts their asses lol) and now i'm finding out that it's actually not normal to wake up every day#w your joints screaming and stiff and that i might have a chronic condition (doctor is thinking some sort of chronic inflammatory arthritis#but i won't know if my imaging and blood tests showed anything until like mid-june) and i'm like. so even the part of my job that i don't#mind as much is not good bc it's like actively destroying my body. okay sick 🤠 and i don't wanna quit bc i've only been there for like#eight months and this job would be really valuable on a resume but i don't want it to look like i'm a job hopper or like i'm fickle or#unreliable. so i'm stuck here for a while i think. but the pressure is destroying me mentally and i know i need to find a position somewhere#else that is 1. not fucking goddamn retail bc retail will always be hell and 2. not management bc i don't see myself ever really getting#into upper management but lower/middle management gets shit on the most so if i go somewhere else and end up in middle management i'll be#right back to wanting to kill myself in a matter of months. basically i'm tired of expectations and pressure and stress and i'm tired of#waking up at fucking 2:30 every morning just to go in and get shit on and destroy my body all over something that in the end i do not fuckin#care about. i need to make art and be held accountable by only myself. idk i've been toying w the idea of learning how to tattoo and trying#to start establishing some artistic skill so maybe eventually i can do that? not now bc the economy sucks and that's scary lol and anyway i#have to give myself some time to actually learn the skill and perfect a style. but it makes decent money (at least before the expense of#supplies and taxes) and allows you to travel and still work and also it would be fun. and i could tattoo myself so it would cut some#expenses for me since i cannot stay away from the damn needle. idk lol i need to save some money before i buy a tattoo gun or anything but#i'm considering it bc i am going fucking crazy rn and ik this feeling will leave me eventually but i also know it will come back bc it#always does. and i'm tired of just surviving and just making it through every day and every week like i want to be happy and this is just#not doing it for me anymore#ugh fuck why couldn't i have been born w a brain that likes numbers and code and technology. i love being an artist but it makes finding a#sustainable career really difficult bc i feel so restless and miserable when i'm stuck in a passionless job but my passions are not#particularly profitable. hate it here why wasn't i born a capybara no job no responsibility just squint and squeak and sun
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ok anyway im leaving in. the day after tomorrow at like 2am so im just saying its tomorrow cause im literally just gonna stay up till then theres no point in sleeping. BUT two things. one i need to finish packing. my clothes are dry so i just have to bring them upstairs and pack. sort of stressed out bc like. i like my outfit i dont want to change it but everyones telling me its too hot for a leather jacket like i know!!!! but its my jacket :(
anyway i just have to do that so ill do it now and then…on top of that i wanted to get the draft for my ghost story done but i havent been working on it at all >_< ive just been reading comics the past couple days. so tomorrow. for sure. i will definitely work in getting the draft done totally.
but ugh im kind of nervous i havent seen these people in so long and im not great socially. also i dont go on trips in general so like. i hope i have energy for a full month yknow. i have a tendency of isolating myself when im stressed out but i dont have any space to do that…not that i should but whatever you know
#LIKE. im just eugh like im Bad at small talk. im better at dispensing information and leaving it that#or listening. ive been practicing listening a lot more so i dont overtalk and everyone gets a turn#OH RIGHT!!!! i hope. cause i have 4 cousins. two are toddler age#one is a little younger than me so like 13 but hes a boy idk how he is cause he might be annoying no offense <3#and then an older girl whos around my brothers age so a few years older. and we never rlly talked cause it was always my brorher and her#last i saw them i was like. god idk it couldnt have been too young cause i got black out drunk before i stayed with them#so. 11? 12? definitely younger than 13 i know for a fact#im bad with times tho#anyway its been a while and im a lot older now. so i hope shes there so we can talk and be friends idk#apparently my brother isnt close to her anymore? he called her a bitch last time we talked abt her so. hope i do see her#and my aunt! i always liked her a lot and my brothers prob gonna be busy with our uncle. ill be stuck with the younger kids but thats ok i#dont mind since im used to handling my sister. apparently theyve wanted to meet me for a long time so i am super excited#i dont think anyones gonna expect what i look like tho lol i dont think anyone could have guess me being punk#not even me like i distinctly remember in elementary my friend. we were talking about mcr and emo / punk stuff and he was like. you coukd#never be like that. ummmmm well guess what dickhead!!!! jokes were actyally still close lol#ANYWAY i am fucking excited and nervous and have to find a normal way to bring up 18th century fashion or perhaps history of contemporary#folk
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#tag talk#was talking with my brother about being plural and like. I'm kinda the tough rough protector cliche one#and I was talking about wanting my other half to be happy and he hit me with something I'm still mulling over.#he was like “you talk a lot about wanting her to be happy. does she want you to be happy?”#and like. chat words cannot describe how much that threw me. it's my job to take the blows. to front when we're in danger and in pain.#I don't think she gives a shit whether I'm happy. she hasn't learned to care about me as a separate person.#I care about her because that's my job. I'm the fucking trauma alter or whatever. but she doesn't care back.#and we really need to have this talk once she's back. she's asleep right now cause we've been having real bad migraine and I've been dealing#but once things aren't so bad we need to have a fucking talk#I'm not happy being restricted to a relationship I'm not interested in. I don't want to date our partner and that's whatever#but I can't even go out and get fucked properly because even though *I'm* not in a relationship my second half is.#like. goofy ah situation where two people live in a single body so one of them is celibate in order to keep the other one monogamous#like. how the fuck do I do this? if he calls me babe or baby or my love one more time I'm gonna kill us both I hate it.#she likes words of endearment like that and I would rather die. she likes kissing him but I don't like kissing anyone in general#and this whole time I've been expected to just go along with everything because she just bulldozes me out of the way.#I tried to break up with him and she took over the next day and got us right back together again with apologies and letters#because she's genuinely emotionally happy with him and I'm happy for her because I do care.#but I'm not happy with the situation and I don't think she actually cares that I'm not happy. she's caught up in her own shit#and I'll admit I do like him. the partner. we communicate really well and we kinda click yaknow?#and I really do want to keep him as a friend long term#but I can't fucking do this I'm not monogamous I just wanna go get fucked good and rough and he's insufficient for that#one of these years I want to go to Folsom Street Fair. I've read a ton about it and it looks so fun.#I just wanna be sexually liberated and unfortunately I'm stuck in this body with a hopeless romantic#anyway. we've got a lot to sort out here.#I just. she does care but she gets so caught up in her own shit that she forgets to consider other people.#and weirdly enough I count as other people even though we're kinda(?) the same person#pretty similar music tastes. relatively similar fashion styles. same body and same childhood goes far in making you similar people#and yeah. I'm aware she's the more developed one. I don't get nearly as much screen time as she does. but I'm making up for lost time#idk. if I'm stuck here I may as well make the most of it.#also wanna know something funny? I think I'm the one who's tried to kill us every time. no way she ever had the guts to do it.
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✧ ⁺˳ cw. fem! reader, unprotected, established relationship, mıssionary, praise, brēeding, petnames, mdni.
nanami who always finds himself in your sheets and between your legs after a long day at work.
“think i want a baby, ‘ken.”
and he took those six simple words personally. nanami’s giving you slow, languid strokes, rolling his hips against yours. he groans at your nails clawing all down his back. as you briefly meet his gaze, you’re met with the most kindest, fawn eyes. all you saw in them were nothing but pools of love with a sprinkle of lust. “oh,” he huskily grunts, hearing the sloshing wet stretch deep into your cunt. he’s stunned for a bit before going deep into imagination. the thought of making your cute tummy all swollen and rounded, it makes him gnaw on his lip like candy.
“my love,” he swallows thickly, a familiar lump forming into the back of his throat. nanami leans into you, his rhythm growing more and more sloppy. you’re jerking back, an ankle of yours sliding down the red lines of his back and he grunts. “c- careful now, might give you more than just one.” and he could have came right then and there—all from relishing in your beauty. he’s never laid his eyes upon anything more pretty.
your knees then get righteously shoved up to your chest. soft, browned eyes flicker at the valley between your breasts before glancing back toward your shimmery spit-slicked lips. you moan, tossing your arms over his shoulders. “i missed my girls,” he groans, stuffing his face between your chest for a moment. your breath immensely hitches at the feeling up him licking a single stripe, still deeply plummeting such inches in and out of your weeping cunt. “they missed me too,” he purrs in a raspy coo, speaking to your tits, and that’s when he latches his plump lips against your perky nipple for a short second. “m-mh.”
the air felt hot — humid, feverish even with each breeze that passes. as warm, kinetic bodies clash against each other at individual hyper strokes, he pries himself off of you. nanami’s jaw tightens so much from your soddened grip that it almost aches. “sweetheart,” he hisses, peering his eyes down to see the milky white ring already coating around his base. it’s probably been hours, hours of you prettily sprawled out for him with your legs open. docile, tawny irises lovingly gaze into you as a thumb of yours strum down his neatly ruffled undercut. “f- fuck, i want you so bad. missed my girl. missed my pussy.”
“she’s missed you too ‘ken,” you pull him into a hot kiss, tasting the mint that lingers on his breath. and as his thrusts grew more sloppy, you whine, feeling his jutting cock kiss against your most sweetest spots. your heart flutters, slithering its way around his waist in a secure lock. “fuck me kento, d- don’t stop, pleaseee.”
“never gonna stop for you, my love,” he huffs, chest heaving in and out. the more he stares at you, the more he falls in love.
through glossed eyes that shimmer with such infatuation—he’s taking in your beauty, your fervor.
nanami loves more than anything to just gawk at you, watching as your eyes droop, your neck crane, and even the way your brows crease into a furrow due to such rapturing pleasure. only he could make you feel this way—you and him both knew that. nobody knew your body like the back of their hand except nanami. your body was his personal canvas, he’s always loved to decorate it and paint it with various, chaste kisses.
to him, you were art. he’s hitting you deep, blurbs and blurbs of whimpers dragging out of your throat until it sounds like inaudible meaningless babbles. so pretty,
repeatedly, the base of his cock perfectly hits against there, leaving you with your jaw hanging open and your entire body being stuck into a limited dimwitted state. he fucks you silly every time, you whimper as a lightening pulse from his cock twitches inside of you, plugging you full.
over and over and over,
nanami blows into your mouth, and you hear a throaty chuckle before he presses yet another wet kiss against your lips. “wanna see you nice ‘n plump s-so bad. gonna give you triplets, my sweet.” and you’re just stupefied, barely a single thought was stored up into your empty, vacant brain. nanami sucks against your bottom lip, still steadily rocking his way into your sloppy cunt. you feel the juncture of his hips mercilessly thrust its way into you raw and you gasp. “right . . here?”
pleasure overtakes you so good that you barely even noticed he was talking to you. you’re too busy moaning your head off and a soft smile pierces against both sides of his lips. a few faint dimples poke against his skin before he grabs your chin. “sweetheaaaart, ‘m talkin’ to you, hey,” and once your eyes meet his mid-thrust, his heart swarms up with love and desire. “there we go. atta girl, yeah. ‘s this spot? this feel good?”
“y- yes,” you whimper, nodding eagerly. he was so big and thick, the prolongated stretch had you drooling. nanami glances at your hand. gingerly bringing it toward his lips, he kisses it, giving it a tender mwah. “kento, ‘m gonna cum a-again.”
“i know, pretty,” he groans, grabbing onto your hand. giving it a firm squeeze. you do the same, interlocking a bundle of fingers with his. his grip was gentle and warm, frantic heartbeat haphazardly picking up speed the more you get a feel of his familiar touch once more. nanami’s always slow with you,
he doesn’t wanna rush this — he hadn’t dreamt of it. already feeling you tighten around him, he invades a strip of your sensitive neck with a plethora of passionate, amorous kisses. “you always taste the same,” and you moan, sobbing cunt gripping down on him so good that it whimpers out a pitchy squelch of its own. his lolled twitching tongue licks against the edge of your shoulder blade once more and your back arches in ecstasy.
he’s never been more in love, with your body arching up backwards at his sweet, sweet hits, you were so close to becoming undone. every pivot of nanami’s hips snap you back to reality before you whine out a needy mewl, tangled digits combing through his unkempt, blond strands. “kento, fuuuuck, ‘m gonna cum.”
“together, my l-love,” his voice falters, and his adam’s apple starts to bob. each delicious thrust of his collapses into your body in such mirroring sync. the rapid, frenzied movements were in complete harmony and beads of running sweat sticks against each skin. nanami gruffly groans, preparing to get milked again, you always did it so so well. squeezing his eyes shut, both broad hands cling onto your hips as he grinds against your core. “c’mon, make a mess on me. ‘m gonna clean you up, promise. give it to me, please.”
your moans were so harmonic, each sound that left your throat coming out to be more elongated. with his cock pounding in and out, he starts to slow his pace down — seeping his teeth into your tender collarbone softly. sharp tips of your fingernails continue to paw at the beefiness of his biceps before within seconds, it happens.
with your lips forming into a lewd circular shape, you’re creaming all down his thickset of a shaft. “kentoooo,” you whine out, feeling your soaked walls clench all around him. he holds you tight, allowing you to form into a puddled mess before he shortly follows. nanami groans, tossing his head forward before a translucent ring bubbles around his heavy base. it comes out in oozing spurts, hot cum pouring into your womb raw.
“ngh, always have me bein’ such a mess for you,” he grunts, pretty arched brows curling up together. nanami sucks at the air, witnessing as your legs grow numb, gluing against his skin. “ah, ‘s gonna be a lot. hold still ‘n take it. take it like a good girl,” and he leans into you, cupping the curvature of your face. “make me proud, baby. thaaaaat’s it. eyes on me, eyes on kento.”
nanami feels a wave of drowsiness dawn over him as he stills himself inside of you. he’s panting right with you, a thumb hooks a strand of hair back toward your face. a school of butterflies flutter inside of you as he’s still dumping a sticky load of velvety thin ropes into your greedy pussy. it’s deeply spewing down alongside of your thighs as you wrap your arms around his neck. “i- i love you ‘ken.”
“i love you more,” he whispers, leaning in to pepper kisses all over your face. he hums at the tiny pout that’s displayed on your lips. you’re underneath him, succumbing into such an orgasmic state that you could barely keep your lashes open. nanami’s not moving anymore but he’s still buried balls deep. a big clammy hand ghosts over your tummy before he nips at your chin. “you’re gonna be such a pretty mommy,” and with a final kiss, you feel him slowly lifting up your leg, tossing it over his shoulder.
and as you gasp, watching him switch positions— nanami then pulls out a wedding ring, sliding it over your bare finger. “but you’d be an even prettier wife.”
#★vegasbaby.#nanami x reader#nanami smut#nanami kento smut#nanami x you#nanami x y/n#kento nanami x reader#nanami kento x reader#nanami kento#jjk x reader#jjk smut#jjk x reader smut#jjk x y/n#jjk x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujustsu kaisen x reader#anime smut#female reader#jjk drabbles#jjk imagines#divider: animatedglittergraphics-n-more
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AURGHH I KEEP FLASHBACKING TO THE AWKWARD SITUATION TODAY
#it feels unreal#gonna cry#I wish guys didn’t exist !!! that way I wouldn’t be so awkward around them !!!!#like it’s so mean to expect me to suddenly be okay with interacting with them when I’ve been shut out from them for most of my development#years#its like so unhealthy 🧍♀️#anyways I already have a tough time talking when I’m in a mildly stressful situation but …#like my words always get stuck in my throat / I just mumble random nonesense / I don’t know how to articulate my thoughts / stammering#I’m a rlly anxious person and it’s rlly debilitating 🧎♀️#who ever thinks stammering is cute can respectfully … idk IM JUST LIKE 😭😭😭 how’s stammering cute I am stressed beyond belief !!!#I hate socialisation#anyways ughhh that was so embarrassing pls like now I think I made him feel bad about himself …#I didn’t mean to I swear I would never 😭 he just misunderstood me is all 😭#Muslim Girls CANT TOUCH ANY GUY INCLUDING HANDSHAKES FISTBUMPS ETC#pls … why are guys trying to fist bump me I am not a bro 😔#I Ran out of the lab basically#my mum when I told her the story she was sympathising w him more than me and said I should get over it !!!!#girl … I cannot stand men … even the normal ones creep me out to some extent#I’ve been shut out from them for centuries everyone wants a token goody two shoes good girl#who doesn’t talk to boys until she’s thrust into said mixed environment and is expected to deal with it how about no …#dora daily#yeah I dislike every male idk they make me feel weird ? it’s hard to explain 😭#it wouldn’t be that deep if everyone didn’t slaughter malala for the handshake UGHHH ID RATHER JUST SHAKE HIS HAND WHY IS THIS AN ISSUE#like on one hand I could’ve said hey I’m not allowed in my religion but doesn’t that just sound like rlly bad ?#the only thing I managed to tell him was after I stared at him like a deer in headlights was “uh …. I … can’t”#and he was like wdym you can’t LIKE LOOKING UPSET 😭#I DONT DO WELL WITH MAKING PPL UPSET IM SOBBING#I hope he didn’t take it personally it’s just 😭😭😭#anyways time to shut up !!!
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i love looking up uchi-con in the artist alley discord servers im in bc ppl always have nice things to say about it i feel like such a proud mom. thats my baby <3
#.txt#im probably not gonna be able to go next year cuz im gonna be in school again (hopefully. im already 3 rejections in tho)#and i actually make a lot at uchi-con even tho its a local 1 day event. esp bc there are no table expenses. when i lived in chicago i didnt#have ANY expenses at all bc it was literally down the street lol. like i made more at uchi-con in 1 day than all weekend at some other cons#even if i didnt make a lot id still want to go tho bc i just love the vibes plus i need to support the next generation lol#i dont really care if i lose money id go if im able#dont see how i can with grad school but well see#anyway bringing this up bc me and the homie and my mom all failed to get cheaper tables at flamecon. FUCK YOU FCFS. ALL MY HOMIES HATE FCFS#ANYWAY. so were stuck with the $1000 table T_T#UNLESS we get chosen from the waitlist for a full table before the deadline to refund the premium#i mean i did well at flamecon last year and i didnt even have a lot of stuff. so im not toooooo pressed. im just nervous bc the table was#sooooo expensive#if we split it 4 ways its $267 each but i feel like splitting it 4 ways will be very cramped#like i think the most reasonable is splitting it 3 ways and i can sell the last ticket to a non-artist friend just so they can attend#but even then it will be like. $336 pp. i mean i'll take that but im not sure my partner would bc shes smaller than me.#BUT! we're both on the waitlist for full and half tables so if one of us gets a full thats great#if one of us gets a half she can take it if shes worried about money and ill find others to share. we can request that our tables are near#eachother i think
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Would it have hurt less if at the end of everything I was lowered into those rose bushes, to my bloody painful end, I miss her everyday, would it have been different.
#sorry this is about Doll Girl from my brain#sorry every few months I'll have like a psyche-breaking dream that doesn't leave my brain#I'm alri I was overdue for my next one really. That's why my brain gave me two hehe!#not so hehe tho. genuinely scariest shit I've ever experienced in 2 hours of sleep and I had to go out and pretend that I was okay#asdfjdfjdf#man my last one was like#October???? last year??#I had a big big slew of horrible dreams October time I remember complaining about it#but yeah my last one was the one where I broke my ribcage and could feel it when I breathed#So I couldn't breathe properly for a whole day irl because of it ehe...and then the dream itself just stuck in my head#it's so weird this time tho aha...because they're usually just dreams that are awful to me per usual but in a more psyche-edge way#I've never had someone so nice and gentle and kind in a dream like this before. I did not even care about The Situation#I need to get her out of the situation she's in. I need to show her the beauty of the world#I need her to eat delicious food and sleep such restful sleeps and know she's gonna wake up and be able to do it all again#but i can't because SHES NOT REAL!!! GWAHHHH#Hold on I can make a semi funny joke here#uhhh#the executioners assistant is a cute doll girl and she want's to start a QPR with me???#a webcomic by. my fufkcing brain#okay right I got that one out I need to go to bed or smth#I need to be in bed with my laptop I need to let her know I love her so so much#sorry. I'll make a different post for that one#dsjdsjds#Android Dream Journals#Android.txt
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