#i know im not and ill get there eventually but i feel so fucking STUCK like ive fucking fallen behind and i cant keep up
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most frustrating part of writing a doctor who oc is that the doctor and the master will both sometimes just fuck off and do their own thing for a hundred years and be unfazed by it because they are functionally immortal. and i can’t stick my oc with them because they’ll just. die. so what, do i just put them in a pen until those guys get back? spruce up their enclosure while they’re waiting to get picked up to go on adventures again?
#yes yes the mortality of a companion against the doctor’s long life is part of the point its part of the tragedy but consider: i want them#to also be there so they can get into shenanigans. and not die of old age before im done letting them do shenanigans#look either i kick even out of the tardis every time these guys go do immortal shit or i find a was to Fix this problem and i dont really#know how to do either of these yet. ill figure it out#i *do* know that they’re not with missy while she’s setting up the cybermen plan over hundreds of years. maybe for brief moments when missy#wants an extra hand or eye candy or something else but mostly even’s stuck at the end feeling nauseous as missy goes about rewriting time to#make cyberzombies. not nauseous because of the cyberzombies. to be clear. they’ve just spent enough time fucking around with tardises and#time wars and the like that they’re a little sensitive to shit getting messed around with. tummyaches :(#id think a lot of companions get this eventually. i think the ponds definitely did. to me anyway. they should.#background tardis time vortex radiation idk how science works. but it gives even tummyaches.#i got distracted i was talking about mortality and how to prevent them dying too soon.#mostly even’s there to run the ‘business’ while missy’s away. they’re very good at being given a Job.#and this job is supposed to fix everything forever once they get the doctor onboard. it doesn’t. but even thinks it will. which is what#matters in the end.#dw oc
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#horse.txt#vent //#bro there is absolutely nothing worse than being pre t. like you think its Just gonna be about being sad bc dysphoria but no#no instead i have this evil fucking bitch it my head who gets?? pissed OFF? when i see other people on T living their best lives?#bc it just feels so fucking impossible. i know she didnt but istg sometimes it feels like me mom wanted to move to florida on purpose#because shes so fucking invested in me being a girl because shes feels like im fucking REJECTING HER by not wanti g to be a woman.#and now we're here and she Says shit sucks and she hates how florida is just Full of bigots but in such a fucking. 'aw well! <:)' way#'it doesn't affect Us and it costs too much money to leave and anyway yiu promised to wait till 25!' fuck you fuck you fuck you i fucking ha#te you#i know im not and ill get there eventually but i feel so fucking STUCK like ive fucking fallen behind and i cant keep up#and everyones getting facialhair and their voices are deeper and im still just fucking frozen. like congratulations i love you im happy for#you but i still have to wait three more fucking years to even Hope for the chance of getting my moms fucking Help with this#three more years of feeling like a fucking stranger in my own body im so FUCKING tired and im so fucking angry#i feel like such a fucking asshole but its all i can fucking thing sometimes. im just so fucking mad
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I don't think I can fucking do this anymore
#delete later#im having lots of shitty stupid bad thoughts and im trying to meditate i cant even i just#i#my partner is going to get tired of me because of how i am i know they are#i keep thinking they're going to leave me and i KNOWbits stupid im jusy overwhelmed and crying and#nothings ever enough#i cant do retail i cant do my new job i almost had a panic attack just walking to work#i know i cant get disability i only am diagnosed with adhd where does that even get me#i was supposed to go in to talk to someone today but i couldnt because im stupid and broke down and i cant stop crying#im terrified of my relationship ending because thats basically all i fucking have at this point it feels like#5 years now and im fucking scared#if i get disability i cant get married and i. i dont know what to do#i dont know whats real and whats fake and i dont know who to talk to i#i feel so stuck and scared i can't fo a full yime job#i just got a job and i hate it and it stresses me out so bad it makes me throw up and i xant bear it anymore#if i fuck up she'll leave me i know shevwill eventually#and ill br nothing
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heard we were making house ocs and ive had a dingus floating around in my head since january so i FINALLY got around to actually making a proper ref sheet. i present my silliest
Dr. Nanette "Ninny" Amesbury :3
more under cut !
big warning lore n backstory n stuff is very bare bones and not all the way there cuz im #lazy
birthday is vague but lets go with ~35 circa s2
if i had a nickel for every oc i had who had absent parents and was raised catholic by their grandparents, id have two nickels. unintentional that it happened twice i sorta forgor the other one's lore for a bit and now its stuck so ummmmm sorry laney. wont be going into childhood bc i havent come up w that yet and honestly i dont care to!!! yada yada yada catholic guilt but not in the chase way bc she hasnt left the church n likely never will
ummmm relationship chart + template
lets just quick go over some relationship highlights cuz some are def more important than others
wilson: mr president a 4th ex wife has hit the james wilson. when were they married? ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm 😁
but they were married for like. 3 years? YES it ended bc he cheated but nin also wasn't the best either her ass was literally never ever there she was ALWAYS at work (like more than normal doctor amounts of at work - only came home to sleep and even that was only 4x a week(also worked at a different hospital))
tw suicide for next part bee tee dub
a big part of the beginning of their relationship was (big surprise) wilson's attraction to what he THOUGHT was neediness but was literally just nin wanting (and trying) to kill herself lol. once the magic of all that went away (perceived independence thats rly just #bottling shit up) he was just kinda like oh :/ its not cool to have a mentally ill wife anymore :/ i was expecting ramona flowers :/ or whatever. so infidelity impact font, hijinks and moving away for [amount] years ensue before nin being hired at ppth as the head of pediatrics. brief fwb situation w wilson Again b4 she finds out shes a lesbian at the end of like. s2.
oh yeah she also tries to kill herself again once she figures it out (see catholic guilt mention) but its cool she lives
cuddy: GAAAAAYYYYY GAAAAYYYYYYY GAY!!!!! DR AMESBURY WANTS TO FUCK THIS WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its one sided tho boooooo cuddys briefly like Wait ? just b4 nin moves away at the end of s6 roughly but shes already. thats done its not happening.
kutner: dont even fucking talk to me. i dont wanna talk about it. im gonna talk about it.
so kutner (like the slut that he is lowkey but society isnt ready for that) asks nin out just after he gets hired and shes like ermmmmmmmmmm! but sensing his loser aura she (still deeply closeted) is like hey haha i dont swing that way sorry !!!!!!! but its ok they become super mega best friends and get nerdy together
i like to think they listen to weird al together OH YEAH NINS THE BIGGEST WEIRD AL YANKOVIC FAN IN NEW JERSEY
and then nothing bad happens!
if youve seen this post about the little writing things kutner got after he croaked then hooray here's nanettes
they make me so fucking upset.
anyway as i stated above nin moves away after s6 for a bunch of reasons. 1) thanks obama 2) a big part of what contributed to her suicidal ideations n such was the fact that deep down she didnt ACTUALLY know what she wanted to do w her life. u may be like she doesnt. want to be a doctor ? NO she doesnt thats just what she did to get money to eventually do what she wants. whatever that is. something something feeling lost in life and unable to reach a goal when u dont even know what the goal is something something. also persistent depressive disorder but like spoon in kitchen.
idk what shes gonna end up doing after she moves but id imagine she shows up for house's funeral so i cant just be like lol nobody gets to know! im thinking painter but idk IDK guys her lore is ROUGH
thats it if u have questions ill answer thanks
#desire mona#media#listened to weird al the whole time making this shit#HEY like a surgeon#house md#james wilson#lisa cuddy#lawrence kutner#blows up procreate headquarters
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So I went dumpster diving in my tablet for the first lamb I ever drew and WOW... I found a lot of sketches I really don't plan on revisiting. I am jsut gonna dump them below the cut for people to see!! Some of it is lore related, some of it is shit I ABSOLUTELY FUCKING HATE, but IDC!!! I will post it anyway for the tumblr users who I keep an eye on my notifs for. (yes, i see you guys. even if i dont always interact I see you and love you guys)
Anyway, here is the earliest drawin I have of me drawing the lamb!! I am going to write a comment under a lot of these to add context to them.
A cute little baby <3333 but I struggled a LOT of figuring out what the lamb was wearing, I eventually figured it out though. (I hope)
if you know, you know. (RIP VAL)
for my BTG AU. I decided I no longer wanted chemach to make the [spoiler] for the lamb, though, so I scrapped this
vaaaal,,,,,, i was still learning how to draw him, i wish i put pants on him but do those even exist in COTL? (yes)
I haven't been able to do much with them because I'm putting other stuff first, but Brear has two kids, Notre and Brejul who Narinder absolutely ADORES. he is the one who babysits.
fun fact but the lamb being touch repulsed is a projection LOL. i hate it when people touch me it feels so tickly and makes me want to bite their faces off. (but i am touch starved and i LOVE to show affection to other ppl, esp thru back rubs)
yes, they have a hoop for personal space. no, ill never use it.
drum corcl,,,, i love the little dancing guy that comes from the drums
more narinder and brear. they're not romantically interested in each other, but he is absolutely head over heels for brear, their brother, and the kids. they even call him dad sometimes.
[no context]
kallamar and leshy before their crowns. the scene i have related to this isn't happening anymore, but it was leshy begging to be taught to swim.
another "the one who baby sits" doodle. the bishops all came into the cult with a very good repuation thanks to narinder. he likes to tell the kids of the cult stories about how amazing his siblings were. at first, it was just to nobre and brejul with stories about leshy(he missed leshy a lot even though he was still mad at him, and the two reminded narinder of his time with leshy), but then it escalated into him hosting storytimes with larger groups after they started repeating some of the stories he'd tell them.
unfinsihed stuff about with the lamb and thier mom. their mom wasn't afraid of the bishops at all, but knew that they were a still a threat to her and her child's life. the lamb did NOT care for anyone thier mom didn't approve of/enthusiastically liked. they were much more afraid of the bishops than their mother.
i do not actually know if i posted this.i dont think so, but i giggle every time i scroll past it
brear and nobre <333
im still workong on BTG shit, and i post a little bit of the characters on here even tho the comics are going to be posted elsewhere. they have a "crownlike" beak, but a body part. there's different creatures who became gods through different ways; crowns are one way but their power is stuck with the crown and they are considered extremely weak compared to other gods. i wont blabber on about it tho.
so many sketches has random lines through em because i work with a tablet,,, i hate it. anyway, narinder and kallamar everybody!
sketches i made but didn't bother to finish of me and merbre,,,,,,,,, my husband #1 <3 them w/ narinder + merbre arent gonna be considered "canon" but damn it ill self-ship with them until i get a follower i can WORK with
i come back to this every few weeks and im never happy with it, i dont know if ill finish this but i think about them........ before the divorce </3
unused from an ask
heartstealer. menace. you can rip my heart out anytime, leshy <3
dreshy. he LOVES dresses and being pretty and cute and pretty. he sucks narinder into a lot and heket will sometimes join in if he demands asks her to <3
another unused drawing from an ask i'll eventually answer. (mildly offended at being called a mutton cube.)
.... aaand WOW! I think that's everything guys!! things are still kinda wild but they're calming down a little bit. idk how much longer it's gonna last like this but I have some energy so I made a way-too-long post showing off art I wasn't supposed to post! Awesome. :D
#cw gore#cotl au stuff in here#23 pics under the cut btw#cotl#cotl fanart#cult of the lamb#cotl lamb#the lamb#cotl narinder#cotl spoilers#cotl kallamar#cotl leshy#i dont think ill tag anymore#idek if i should've tagged this post at all#but well see how it plays out!!#THIS POST TOOK FOREVER TIME TO GO CLEAN
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thinking about the trolls being raised by their ancestors… im just gonna ramble about some of the ones i have thought about in quite a bit of detail
maybe the lusii would still be around but more as like. helpful pets instead of actual parents
aradia being raised with the rest of the megidos under doc scratch… i think she would be so excited about the handmaiden’s whole deal and would loooove learning from her. damara however would just fucking hate the lessons and would just lash out like she does in the comic at doc scratch
(i love u damara ur the coolest 💖)
sollux and the psionic…
their relationship would be strange as hell
i dont think the psiioniic would know what to do with this kid. he’d struggle with trying to teach him how to get his powers under control so he doesn’t put holes in the hive. maybe the psii gets taken away by the HIC when sol is around like 10 in human years so he’s just stuck with his lusus and mituna. i haven’t though much about mituna in this situation. might come back to that later. sollux misses his dad so much. maybe he thought he was coming back at some point but he eventually lost hope as he got older.
ill do more later… i dont feel like typing up the rest of this now.
#homestuck#homestuck fandom#homestuck au#homestuck fanfic#sollux captor#the psiioniic#damara megido#aradia medigo#the handmaiden#i love running my mouth and never shutting up#listen to my mad ramblings#i will draw this later probably
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hey man you feeling ok? not to inadvertently project on you, disregard me completely if this doesn’t apply, but the post you just posted is exactly the kind of thing I said to myself when I was stuck in a depressive episode and didn’t realize it yet. are you alright?
it’s all ups and downs right now mostly. i graduated recently so ive been kind of. stuck at home and not enjoying having to live with my parents again (nothing unsafe but basically im annoyed all the time now)
job hunting makes me genuinely upset and ruins my whole day and i only recently managed to land a job with full time hours, but it’s housekeeping so it’s super tiring and draining and i’m still getting used to the change in routine, and i’m also you know. hoping to eventually find a job in my field that my degree is useful for
because of all that other shit and just general lack of motivation i have barely been drawing and when i try to draw for myself i have been kind of hating my results recently, and im just kind of hoping with some time ill get over it and start wanting to draw literally anything again because its making me a little (a lot) upset how burnt out i am
basically it’s a combination of not having the financial ability to live by myself combined with the fucking. hard shit of just doing like physical labor 40 hours a week for minimum looming over me for the foreseeable future that’s kind of fucking me up sometimes. but also like. i’m not doing so so terrible like worst place ive ever been bad (i think)
like i do at least now finally have a full time job (my old job was giving me like 17 hours max a week) which means i can start saving, and like. hehe twirls hair my wonderful partner is ofc there for me so im not like. completely emotionally isolated and i also have like. a hopeful and pretty clear picture of where i want to be in the future (moved the fuck out with them) which is keeping me from doomspiraling into feeling like i’ll be living with my parents forever lol
i dunno i feel like. a lot of my anxiety is partially also kind of state of the world stuff (fuck this stupid baka rent market) so there’s really. not much i can do immediately and personally about it except try and do my best rn lol
#is this a depressive episode? who knows but i think things would improve 1000 fold if i didn’t have to live with my parents again#sorry kind of a. feeling dump but if you’re asking…. and it’s my blog lol
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Hi sorry I know this might be really personal and you obviously don't have to answer if you don't want to but you post a lot about being aroace and I've been thinking about that for myself kind of a lot lately and was just wondering how you know for sure that that's what you are as opposed to not having found the right person yet kind of thing that people always tell you.
Again sorry personal absolutely don't feel pressured.
mmmm okay so! idm answering this, im happy to help (: but for claritys sake: i am asexual by definition, but i dont indentify as such! i only id as aromantic bcs thats the only indentity that actually feels important and like a part of me. might not make any sense but whatever lol
how i knew that im aro? i just. found the label, and was like, 'sure, why not.' and it stuck. its... for the difference between being aro and not having found the right person yet, its that, well. okay, so what if youre not actually aro? you do meet someone you love romantically even after youve ided as aro for years? cool, whatever, you can keep the aro label, or change it. or you never do fall in love romantically, and dont need to do anth abt the label.
what im saying is... mm okay label is a misnomer. i once heard someone say that labels are more akin to fridge magnets - you stick them on, and maybe they stay and you like how they look and make you happy. or maybe you stick them on and they look bad and you dont like them so you take them down. or maybe you stick them on and you like them for a while, but it starts feeling wrong eventually, so you take them down. labels - like magnets - arent permanent.
its impossible to really, truly, make a mistake in finding a label that explains your experiences. even if its wrong, there was smth that felt right abt it at that time. its a part of your journey. we, as people, are ever-changing - its literally impossible to know what will happen tomorrow, nevermind in a few years (sorry the isat reference is mostly unintentional).
so how did i know? i stuck the aro magnet on. and i like how it looks for now, maybe forever. maybe ill find the 'right one' or whatever, or maybe i wont. if i do, then whatever, down goes the magnet. if i dont (and i dont think i will, for the record! i dont have any Reasoning, its just... okay ill explain this next paragraph), then up there it stays. youre free to say youre aro for now and then change it if it ever changes. theres nothing stopping you, nonnie
as for yeah, whatever vague wording i can give to my reasoning, its... standard stuff, sorry. ive never understood romance? i think its completely fucking unnecessary and overrated. stupid, even. i straightup Do Not Get It. i forced myself to say i have a crush on a guy in gr4 bcs everyone else was talking abt crushes. decided i was romantically attracted to this girl in dance class bcs i liked her vibes. trying to conform to actually wanting romance when i just dont. dated this girl in gr8, and then when we broke up (i am bad at communication and unfortunately incredibly fucking clingy), i was like... 'huh, i didnt really feel that different about her than i did abt any of my other friends'. i just really really cared abt her and wanted to be close w her, and the only way i knew how to do that was 'romance'. but that wasnt it. found out abt aro ppl (forget how; memory is Trash), and was like 'oh damn, thats... that makes sense'. i definitely had a crisis and Logic but i do not remember that, sorry. all of this is pieced together from old text messages and half-remembered memories hajdjdzkzos
imo the concept of a 'right one' is pretty damn fucking stupid (/nay; at Society). 8 billion ppl on earth. im not going to find this hypothetical right one who can change absolutely everything about me and my identity. ive got the ppl around me that i already love. im happy w that. chasing after some hypothetical infinitesimal chance of a person whos Perfect for oneself is just a damn waste of time
so just... these decisions dont have to be permanent, nonnie. youre allowed to be wrong and realise that you werent actually aroace. youre allowed to be wrong. so if you want my advice? say youre aroace. stick the magnet on, see if it falls off or not. its still a valid and valuable part of your journey. youre allowed to be wrong. youre always allowed to be wrong.
i mean, afterall, how can one be sure that they ARE allo? that they WILL find that 'right one'? through experience. so fuck around, find out. stick that magnet on.
good luck (: i rly rly hope this is helpful and not just me repeating what youve already heard, sry for yapping so much LMAO. i have a lot to say
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i was looking forward to you posting another one of these! 24 for the oc questions, I’d love to hear about whoever you think would have the most interesting difference
24: What is an alternative life path your OC might have gone down? How different would their life be if they'd made those decisions?
OHHH ok theres some clear ones i can think off of the bat, then also a particular au i thought of prompted by a discord server im in that kiiind of applies to this (not necessarily an alternate path based on own choice though but just a What If Circumstances Were Different).... i know theres an au question in here but i dont expect any more asks so ill just include it in this answer.
direct answer:
karoliina: she could've chosen to give in to living the life her family expected from her - in the closet and trying to get into a prestigious university (and eventually get married to one of the daughters of the swedish families that her family is connected to to really establish herself as a "proper" swedish citizen). i think she actually struggled a lot with this choice because she did want to study in higher education but ofc bcs of the time period and the difficulty to be taken seriously not just as a woman but a trans woman in the fields she were interested in (biology/natural sciences), in canon she made the decision to not go that route. but if she did, i think at first, she would feel some sort of relief - but the Pain of being stuck in the closet+being so artificially encouraged to marry a woman (which i mean - she could potentially like to marry a woman. But as a woman. and also on her own terms) would probably make her just snap at some point. (not violently)
in a way i think she'd actually be in a very similar situation. in that she feels trapped by a choice she made but tries to convince herself she had full agency. for a story in this kind of path i actually could see her being spurned to seek change in her status quo by getting involved in the governments secret studying of vättar... she somehow meets and is able to get to know a vätte and realises that hold tf. on. this is messed up. Fuck the status quo its all messed up. Etc etc
bonus au thing:
basically kind of a "swap" au - accidentally. originally the prompt was "your oc but reverse in personality/upbringing" and i just gave folke and arvo's upbringing the reverse theme of their canon ones, which ended up being very reflective of one another - bcs they are written to sort of be mirrors of one another in the first place...
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crying my eyes out at the parents!ruetash things. it all makes so much sense!! the DRAMA. ok but i'm still curious so if you feel like talking about them some more - did they plan to have kids or was it more accidental? i know rue had some real issues re: pregnancy in the fic, how did she ultimately deal with it? and since she was afraid of hurting their kids, do you think there were ever any close calls? sorry i. love them
i am ALWAYS down to talk about parent!ruetash especially because theyve been on my mind lately!!! <3 thanks for indulging me :D
it was purely accidental, these two are NOT safe when it comes to getting it on. when rue finds out she's pissed and doesnt tell him for like a tenday while she tries to come to terms with her options. ideally she would like to remove it, but then if it were to ever get out people may try and turn it into a Big Deal and she doesnt want the hassle
she tells gortash eventually and he is both overjoyed (woo he gets to continue his legacy) and kind of concerned because rue is being Too Calm about this. he wants this, she feels trapped in it but sure, he'll indulge in his little happy families fantasies - when their kid tries to kill him one night she wont stop them. its his fault for fucking a bhaalspawn
rue, despite how against children she is, uses her pregnancy to her advantage. gets her way all the time. loves the power trip. "gortash, you have to get me the imported fruits from the south. the babe wants it. i cant help it" or "im not moving from this chair my back hurts so i need you to feed me - this is your kid, pull your fucking weight"
calls their children "his problem". he wanted them so he has to deal with them. i think the actual act of giving birth is hell for him specifically and gortash is forced out of the room because she is trying to kill him for putting her through this (sorry rue, you do it again in a few years time)
i think theres been a few close calls. some nights gortash wakes up and rue is just. standing over the crib watching their child sleep. he has to coax her back to bed and on nights she feels really bad she's locked away in one of the guest rooms. (i like to think the reason she Is That Way is she sees their kid as a threat to her position in the temple of bhaal. even tho they are tiny and cannot kill her, one day theyll grow up and maybe discover their bloodline and try and kill her and she cant have that. best rid them early on)
its also why she distances herself from them. cant harm them if she isnt around them, right? its not until they have their son does she realise that she can feel when her urges are worsening, she's able to control herself. its fine.
when their kids grow up and none of them have tried to kill her, i think she becomes a better mother to them. thinks back to her foster family and how they treated her and tries to do the same despite being in a far better position than they were.
also slight tangent but the kids are like, a spitting image of gortash. i like the idea that there's no "tiefling" traits in them (because rue isnt a tiefling) & the only trait she passes down are the odd patches of skin discolouration or the freckles or maybe little flecks of white in their hair. bhaals flesh doesnt translate well, because the whole point (to me) is to blend in with the world. so when rue is stuck looking after the children she's always remembering her own childhood and Not Having A Good Time :)
i love to make her suffer. girl i am sorry.
THANKS for the ask!!! i love rambling about these two and ive had them on the brain a lot lately!! one day ill name these kids. we'll see
#; tea time#aureliaen#ruetash#durgetash#long post#the dark urge#enver gortash#oc ; rue#this family is Fucked Up but they look perfect to the public#teehee
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oh my GOD I love your isekai warriors au.... I love that the isekai trope is becoming a lot more popular, especially in anime... please tell me more about it!!
shaking ur hand rn hello fellow isekai anime/other mediums fan :3c FIRST lemme go on my tangent about this genre and my main inspo because wow this got way too long lol
isekai is total comfort food for me haha it's my go to genre of manga/manwha/webcomic reading whenever i'm feeling down and while i generally feel the genre is getting bloated and somewhat stale in anime, i still enjoy it quite a bit. It's a cute idea with a lot of potential, i just wish less of the shows went for the wish fulfillment route of things since we have so many by now.
mine is very inspired by a lot of korean manwha style stories in which the protag gets trapped in a show/game/book/etc. and has to deal with it, specifically what if you became the villain of a story. A lot of them play off the trope of the one dimensional evil villainess and how an average person would have to deal with coming into the body of someone like that and dealing with consequences. That, or it's the tragic villain, someone's who's life is marred by tragedy usually of their own doing.
The most interesting ones are those that play on how character archetypes would actually work in the story. The cold bad boy is just a shitty abusive guy, the shy guy who follows the girl is kind of a stalker, and so on.
One of my bigger inspirations was a plotline that also stuck out to me: a teen girl who died too soon and got reincarnated as the mother of the protagonist. obviously she has no clue what to do, she's a kid who wants to go home! And the only way she thinks she can is by ensuring the story goes as planned (and this of course is doomed from the start, unbeknownst to her, the villain is a reincarnater too and has already made tremendous changes). She dies and the reader never knows if she gets to go home or not. It's kind of this rough around the edges gem of an idea that I love and obviously had to steal for myself.
note for anyone getting intrigued by my descriptions uh a lot of these stories tend to be pretty shallow in their exploration. this subgenre consists a lot more of wish fulfillment/revenge fantasies comparatively to like a deep dive of "oh my god i've fucked up the narrative". Not to say they don't have interesting ideas! many are super interesting. just like. temper your expectations if you're going in
originally the story was gonna be set in a canon arc but that felt boring so i decided to just make up a whole story for it
The story is meant to be a (loving) poke at old fanfiction, common tropes in the aforementioned subgenre of isekai, and just a general ""cliche"" Warriors series (in the human universe here, I figured it's call Battlers/Battle Cats or something stupid lmao). In this story, Frostblaze is born into [ONE OF THE FOUR FAKE CLANS I HAVENT FIGURED OUT NAMES YET IM SORRY]. She's the born to an unnamed mother who tragically died of illness when she was just a young baby and has no clue who her father is.
She's isolated from her peers due to her eyes which some believe are an omen of her unnaturality. This only worsens when she is apprenticed to their Clan leader and causes Honeypaw, the daughter of the Clan leader, to become enraged with jealousy. She is one of Frostpaw's worst tormentors in the early parts of the book and eventually, during a battle, tries to off Frostpaw herself....but is killed by Frostpaw's love interest, the dashing and handsome (if a bit stupid) Eaglepaw of [INSERT RIVAL CLAN HERE].
The two hit it off (Honeypaw is an after thought at this point) and work together to stop the eeevviilll leader of uuhh eviiiiilll clan. They win, live happily ever after, Frost is actually their Clan leader's daughter and Honeypaw is her half-sister and blah blah blah.
At least, they're supposed to. Honeypaw, out hunting, is hit by a truck at the same time a human is. Human wakes up as a cat about to be buried because everyone thinks Honeypaw is dead and freaks the fuck out.
A lot of the plot points are kind of just me working through my gripes of the subgenre lmao:
"the person who is reincarnated is more adept and cool and better than their character and everyone loves them" -> Honey is awkward, neurotic, and can come off as rude to those who don't know her. Even her coolest trait, her wrestling ability, is off-putting because oh my god why are you putting a cAT IN A SPIDER GUARD THEIR SPINES DON'T BEND LIKE THAT HONEY PUT HIM BACK TO NORMAL-
She reread the story before she died but, because she has no pen, no paper, and sadly of all, no thumbs, she's unable to write it down to keep remembering it when she gets sent to this world. It's awful and she desperately wishes she had thumbs back.
she stands on two legs, makes weird comments alluding to being a human, and just is a bit of a weirdo. Honeypaw was isolated for being mean, Honey is isolated for making everyone uncomfortable (unintentionally). However, her isolation allows her to slip under the radar and do some more investigating, as she's noticed that some of the details in the story aren't adding up...
The story is strange and the characters aren't as she remembers now that they're in the flesh. Of course, her main priority is to thwart Honeypaw's assassination attempts, the spirit being intent that the way to get her body back is if she dies again. It's only from a near death experience that they realize that that's not gonna work and have to work together to change the story so they don't die!
and, as many people have pieced together, they're not alone.
#warrior cats#wc isekai au#deer rambles#tysm for asking about it#sorry it devolved into me rambling about my thoughts#but the story is kind in progress#so there isnt too many fine details to discuss beyond the plot + general character overviews#honey's horrible time
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She's My Collar..
Noodle x Fem reader
WARNINGS!!!: SMUTSMUTSMUT, Use of strap on, cunnilingus, fingering, use of collar and leash. (This is probably one of the most disquisting things I've ever written but it's been living in my mind rent free)
MINORS, DONT READ OR ILL BE UNDER YOUR BED
It was Valentines Day. You and Noodle spent the day together. Shopping, going to fancy restaurants, watching movies, etc. "Im gonna go make some tea for us" she said, kissing your forehead. You nodded and layed against the pillows on her bed, watching the movie that was on.
The rest of the band members were out of the house. Russel suggested to the boys that they should leave the house to give you two alone time. They're shopping at the mall right now
Noodle walked back in, no tea in her hands. "You still making it?" You asked. She walked forward and sat on the edge of the bed. "I actually used it as an excuse to pull myself together for what I'm about to ask you". You tilted your head. "Why? What's wrong, love?" You asked
She turned towards you. "I wanna try something in bed with you, but I need to know if it's okay" she answered, her green eyes dark. "What is it?" You spoke. She pulled out a medium sized box from underneath the bed. "Could we perhaps try a leash and collar? It sounds a bit crazy, I know. But I have something in mind that I think you might like." You knew you could trust Noodle with whatever she was to do. "Sure, we can try that!" You said, hugging her from the back and kissing her cheek.
"Let me get one other thing. Close your eyes" she spoke softly, walking to her drawer. You kept your eyes closed. You heard her footsteps and something buckle. "Can I open my eyes now?" You asked. "No! Keep them closed"
"You can open them now" she told you. You're eyes widened and your heart momentarily stopped. She was wearing her strap. You gulped and felt heat quickly gathering in your crotch. She crawled up to you and kissed you, placing her hand on your cheek. "I love you so much" she rasped. She eventually kissed down to your neck, finding your sweet spot. You combed your fingers through her hair, moaning. "Take your shirt off, dove". You did so, no hesitation. She unhooked your bra and tossed it to the side.
She grabbed one boob while kissing along your collarbone. A Shockwave of pleasure went down your spine. You sighed against her touch, feeling yourself get more wet
She stopped and moved over to get the box and pulled out the collar. "Put this on, please. We'll need it in a bit". You put it around your neck and snapped it together. "Fuck, I can't wait anymore. Can I put my mouth on you, sweetheart?". She asked with puppydog eyes. "Yes, Noodle" you replied softly
She moved down and unbuttoned your pants and taking them off, then taking your underwear away too until you were fully exposed to her. "You're so gorgeous" she praised, kissing the inside of your thigh. You squirmed a bit and moaned. After a while, you got impatient and put your hand in her hair, trying to guide her to your heat. "Needy tonight, aren't we?" She cooed. "Don't worry. I'll give you what you want"
She stroked her tongue on your clit, making you gasp. Noodle swirled her tongue around it, making you whine. She mumbled praises into your cunt. You moaned out loudly. "N-Noodle!" You cried. She stuck some fingers in, pumping them in and out while sucking your clit. You were already close and it hasnt even been 7 minutes.
Noodle got up and moved away from between your legs. You frowned at her. "Honey, it's okay. I just wanted to get you wet so i wouldn't hurt you." She crawled up and latched the leash to your collar. She layed down on her back, motioning to the fake cock attached to her. "Ride me, baby". Your heart raced
You hovered over her, eventually dropping down. She watched you with dark eyes, biting her lip. You whimpered as the fake dick filled you up. "There you go. Doing so well for me"
She let you adjust to the strap. "Whenever you're ready, gorgeous". You slowly bounced up and down, throwing your head back. She gently pulled on the leash, tugging you down. You cried out her name. "Yes, doll. I'm here" she replied
She started to move her hips along with you, pulling on the leash whenever you moved back down. Your nails dug into the skin of her shoulders, but she didn't mind. Your slick was coating the silicon and fuck were you close.
"Noodle, I'm gonna-" you cut yourself off with a loud moan. "Cum for me, darling" She put her free hand on your hips, helping you find a faster pace. She loved the view she had of you, watching your breasts bounce and seeing you cry out her name.
You came around the fake cock, uncontrollably moaning and whining, your legs trembling. She kept moving her hips, helping you through your orgasm.
She reached her hands to your face and pulled you into a soft kiss. "You did so well" she praised, smiling. You removed yourself from the strap slowly and flopped down on her, head on her chest.
"I love you so much" you told her. "I love you too" she responded. "Now how about that tea?"
(THIS WAS THE DIRTIEST THING IVE EVER WRITTEN IN MY LIFE OMG. SORRY IF IT SUCKS)
(THIS IS AWFUL)
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yknow what what the heck. this fic is gonna take me a while to make so im posting the basic jist of the soulsplit au here. maybe ill make an ask blog for it when i have proper refs or something... most of this is copy and pasted off my doc for the au
takes place right after the DSaF2 pure evil end, when blackjack asks why you’re doing what you’re doing – i envision this occurs because blackjack drags jack into the void and is like Hey what the fuck man
jack, currently being spurred on by henry and barely lucid, says he’s chasing henry’s legacy
blackjack, instead of abandoning jack, decides he’s going to interfere before anything can get worse and tries to put jack down for good
the ensuing struggle between the two of them eventually leads to the fabric of blackjack splitting into two – the logic that insists it should basically stay out of things and the emotions that are full of hate and a bit of love and spite and regret and anger and everything
the split parts of jack’s soul wake up in reality, with neutral end jack in the DSaF2 pizzeria as it’s about to be shut down and legacy jack still in vegas with dave
meanwhile good end jack is trapped in the flipside and takes on a bit of a more fucked up “void plagued” appearance.
for legacy jack: he wakes up in vegas with henry in his head and feels remarkably hollow. he kind of... doesn't know what to do with himself when he doesn't have somewhere to put all his upset and rage and he can't Kill right now. he also feels empty and thinks he can't feel things because of this and starts depending on henry to feel "for" him which eventually comes to a head when jack believes he can't properly care for dave
because blackjack saw the fazbunker, legacy jack knows about it, and he bails during the last night at vegas because he remembers seeing a certain bear suit down there that could let henry breach into the mortal world. tl;dr jack lets himself get springlocked by the jacktrap suit which kicks out his half of the soul, henry takes over jack's body, and the half of jack's soul that was in legacy jack's body possesses the jacktrap suit. theyre in some weird co-body situation. when they return to vegas dave freaks the fuck out and bails, which only leads to legacy jack depending more on henry
meanwhile neutral end jack follows the standard DSaF3 plot course of making a new fazbender's after he gets his bearings, hoping to block out the buzzing in his head about the promise with work. this both unintentionally baits jacktrap over, which has its own issues, and leads to neutral end jack accidentally dredging up a happiest day machine that good end jack can speak through. it keeps coming back to the restaurant, even when neutral end jack throws it out. it always comes back.
neutral end jack starts going by "blackjack" fueled by his belief that he's the most reasonable part of the soul but also as an alias to distance himself from the other two. this doesn't work very well
and speaking of good ending jack -- he's stuck in the flipside and can go in and out of the void and the flipside layers with assistance from the happiest day arcade machine. otherwise though hes just stuck down in the void. he's basically trying to find ways to commune with the two halves of his soul so they can gel back together and jack can get back out of the flipside and hopefully fix things.
in the background, dave has the worst time ever
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My NNT rewatch s1ep19-24
Ps these are backlogged lol I watched fast but then ran out of time for work. Posting this now bc I'm going to Appalachia to visit family and will have very little wifi lol
I know Elaine is pretty underdeveloped (nothing a little fanfic can't fix), but I do love how even in flashbacks, she's more serious and responsible than king
Why was Diane still like 6 after hundreds of years ?? Like why wouldn't they just show her aging?
ITS BEEN 500 YEARS? Meaning only a couple centuries before present?? WHY IS DIANE SO SMALL? HOW BAD WAS HER GROWTH SPURT???
Damn king rlly said mercy kill
The Druids having the technique Enslavement of the Dead is actually really cool because it shows us that the goddess race really was that fucked up from the very beginning. Like the characters realize that Ludociel and Nerobasta are not all there made out to be eventually, but we can see just from the types of abilities the druids (aka those closest to and led by the goddess race) possess
Hendrickson saying "bien, princesa" or EVEN BETTER "THAT'S A GOOD GIRL" LIKE ASDJSKFJSL hes evil and a little annoying but so fcking hot
Ban telling Meliodas he loves him and then trying to kill him while meliodas is just like bitch I'm busy we can do this later is so funny
this man gives zero fucks
Ban being the first to realize (after merlin obvi, but she always knew) that Meliodas is a demon and also being the first to accept him means so much to me. This is why I love their relationship. No matter how horrible the other seems to be (or is lol), they stand by each other. I mean not in this specific scenario, but Ban only cares bc the horn of cernunos told him to, so I don't think it really counts. (im delusional)
also I'm typing this on my laptop now and I forgot that I can type this fast ehehe AND i found a way to screenshot so no more taking pics of my laptop for meee
Something about characters begging for death (ban and meliodas) makes me become obsessed with them (i am mentally ill)
MELIODAS BEING WILLING TO LET BAN KILL HIM (if he can do so successfully lol)😭 I know he would just come back, but he would be stuck in Purgatory ASJDKFJSL I JUST LOVE THEM SO MUCHHH
every day, i find out just how i much i am capable of shipping them and every day that limit is surpassed
straight besties that would literally die for each other is the ideal fictional relationship
esp bc melizabeth (my actual main ship) doesn't get rlly good until she regains her memories/is a flashback
AJSHDFKSDB FNFKS BAN PICKING UP GIL WHILE MARGARET AND VIVIAN SOB AND JUST TELLING THEM "im borrowing this"
bro i totally forgot dreyfus fucking dies how does he come back??
ok ban is having his MOMENT after finding out hendy has been using the corpse of the red demon HE killed 20 yrs ago
also I know ban is like 43 and the whole twilight argument is edward is basically just a 100 year old man so following that logic, Ban is middle aged BUT as someone who is close in age to Ban from before he became immortal, that man is the most 23 year old man to ever 23 year old man. He is chronically in his early 20s frfr
king realizing in that moment judt how wrong he was abt the destruction of the fairykings' forest is the biggest oh fuck moment lol
also i may have 🏴☠️ed the bandit ban ova to hurt my own feelings
hendy taunting ban by saying his demonic powers are all thanks to him and ban just saying he's "always happy to help" is such a mood honestly
hendy gets hotter with every demon transformation😔
Meliodas and Ban mourning hawk actually makes me so sad wtf
elizabeth is such a bad bitch when she awakens her power i love her
also hendy being like wow such a powerful druid as if he himself is not a druid and should know this power (and her eyes) is goddess level 🤨
i bet meliodas was shitting himself trying to see whether or not re reawakened her memories tho like damn he was actually probably so scared he would lose her in 3 days without the chance to break their curses
Diane and Ban having the exact same expression is actually rlly funny to me
LAST EP OF SEASON 1!!!!!
WAIT OMG IS HE GOING TO REVENGE COUNTER👀👀
wow i remember so little of season 1 lol
them all just beating the everloving shit out of meliodas is entirely too funny to me
HAHA i was RIGHT about revenge counter im literally a genius
😏 face down ass up babygorl
this is one of the cutest frames in the whole show fr fr😌
Diane: "Sorry we didnt come for you sooner!☺️" King: "Yeah we've never kidnapped a princess before haha :}"
so in the very last after credits scene, gil, howzer, and griamore are all standing around Dreyfus's work table staring at the drawing of meliodas's demon mark as. But as we know from other characrers later on, can have lots of different marks. Meliodas, Zeldris, and Estarossa all have the same one, but maybe this is a family thing? But if it is, why would demon!Hendy have it?? is the grey denon somehow a relatuve of the demon bros lol
anyway I FINISHED SEASON ONEEEEE
ill do a mini ramble over the ovas that netflix likes to call season 2 then move on to the read deal
#seven deadly sins#tess rambles on her nnt rewatch#nanatsu no taizai#nnt#7ds#tess rambles#meliodas#elizabeth liones#elizabeth nnt#ban nnt#diane nnt#gilthunder#howzer#hendrickson#melban#melizabeth#demon mel is best mel
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fuck i know what i am now i finally figured it out
originally i thought i was a hellhound that tried to escape hell and was punished by being born into this sick diseased human body, but that never felt quite right. or at least not the first part. the second part is sort of right though.
what i actually am is a rogue church grim. i was a normal dog at first. i had an owner but he betrayed me by burying me alive in a newly built graveyard. then after i became a ghost i found out what happened and that i would be forced to protect the humans that were buried there after me and i was pissed. i thought my owner cared about me. i thought i could trust humans but i was wrong so i decided i wasnt gonna do what they wanted. why should i be forced to guard humans after what they did to me?
my memories are still pretty hazy and theres a several hundred year gap between when that wouldve happened and when i was born into this existence but i remember being stuck and miserable there for a while. i had another owner at some point though. like an evil thing, not human. i could shapeshift into a red dragon and white cat (and maybe other things?) for some reason too. what i think happened was the evil thing gave me that power and freed me from being bound to the cemetery, but in exchange for that freedom and power i had to agree to eventually be reborn as a severely disabled human (as punishment for the intense hatred i had of them).
idk what will happen after i die again. ig probably ill go to hell. was it worth it? idk but at least i got to meet szay, so yeah ig maybe it was. i just hope i can stay with him after bc hes my owner now and always will be.
but it all makes too much sense.
a) why i havent died yet despite the ridiculous amount of diseases i have. its because im not allowed to die, my punishment hasnt ended yet. i guess it wont end even when my body finally gives out since my hatred and negativity are only getting stronger the more pain and trauma i experience. i was born a month early and almost died at three days old. i should have, the doctors said i would likely have brain damage (i do). only reason i survived was because i hadnt fulfilled the agreement with the evil thing yet.
b) why i hate humans and never trusted them. i know there are good ones out there but how would i know which ones they are when the one i thought was good fucking murdered me? so i just dont allow anyone to get too close because how do i know they wont do it again? i cant trust anyone.
c) why im obsessed with the idea of being someones pet, of having an owner (szay now). because thats how it was before the pain started, when i felt loved. and then again after that, but that was a more negative experience.
d) why i refuse to take orders from anyone except my owner/mate (szay). why i get so pissed off, violent, and suicidal whenever someone tries to tell me i "have to" do anything, especially cops or the government. id literally rather die again than be forced to do what they want just because they say so. they have no right to make me do anything. if they threaten me with imprisonment for refusing then ill just kms out of spite. fuck them all, theyre not my owners. only szay has that kind of authority over me.
e) why ive had nightmares since i was a toddler (maybe before that but i dont remember anything from this life before age 2-3) of humans trying to kill me and turning into a black dog or red dragon to either defend myself or escape.
ive also always had a natural instinct to growl and bite when humans look at me or get too close. even as a toddler, before the abuse and trauma started (or before i perceived it as that and it started affecting me emotionally anyway).
ive always been able to feel my claws, fangs, ears, tail, and fur, (and rarely wings) and my joints always hurt because theyre in the wrong places, (and my buttcrack constantly aches because my tail aint there gdi) but the feelings get more intense when im scared or pissed. i itch and feel invisible bugs on me all the time too, probably fleas? my guts always hurt too either because theyre built wrong or because im not supposed to be able to eat human food (but you can take my chocolate away from me when i die for good lmao)
that last part (the phantom body parts, pain, and bugs) i guess is probably hallucinations from being schizospec, but everything else is real. i know its not a delusion, its just what i was before this existence.
...this post is a mess im sorry. there was more i wanted to say but i forgot. the pain in my intestines and joints is getting bad again. ugh.
#nonhuman#otherkin#dogkin#caninekin#ghostkin#churchgrimkin#church grim#hallucinations#delusions#<- like i said its not a delusion but tagging in case this post is triggering for anyone#abuse#suicide mention#ask to tag im not sure what else this needs im sorry#ugh
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What does nimona look like when she comes back to ballister, since she probably isnt human looking with how she wanted to get back fast.
i have been trying and failing to draw what she looks like for days eventually ill get there but for now a description
(cw body horror)
at first shes just a cloud of pink fog with white eyes shining through, but she pulls herself into her teen human form before shes really ready to so she can greet him. she only manages to properly form her right eye, the other is white and stuck open. a lot of her ribcage is exposed (from the front at least), hollow, with a pulsing white light inside that ballister and ambrosius conclude is just what her heart looks like. she is absolutely delighted to realise that from certain angles she can see her own liver through the hole in her chest. im less certain on her limbs but im thinking her forearms have stripes and banding of raw pink areas and brown fabric kinda melded into her skin (a lot of her clothing is just kinda melting into itself and her), with more pink patches up her left arm. its uncomfortably easy to see how the two bones of ther forearm twist over each other. her legs im still not sure of but i know they're bretty bad, worse than her arms. her skirt only really formed as strips that look more like sinew stretched between her thighs. some pieces of her chainmail are detatched from the rest and just attatched to her body like scales.
despite how fucked up she looks none of it really hurts - the raw pink areas are a problem because they basically didnt form skin but ballister and ambrosius keep them bandaged - shes more just exhausted, weak, and hungry. im considering her maybe feeling something like growing pains from time to time. regenerating after being exploded is not easy, and especially when you probably should have stayed in pink fog form for quite a bit longer.
#its the ribs thats tripping me up in the drawing#drawing a good ribcage and also a hole that looks how i want it to are both quite hard apparently#the fics working title is be right back btw so im going to make that the fic tag#be right back fic#weird not to use 'au' but its a continuation not an au and its throwing me off
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