#shepard is the glue

[strawberrykidneystone]

do you think they split up again after shepard died like in the beginning of mass effect 2😁😁😁

[milkywayes]

just… thinking about the tragedy of shepard and garrus. their relationship evolves as we watch - from mentor and mentee, to trusted friends, to supportive partners. the field between them evens out. walls are broken down. thresholds are crossed. she goes from ‘the best humanity has to offer’ to disavowed shadow operative to the tip of the spear in a probably-unwinnable war. he goes from eager-to-prove-himself hotshot to disillusioned outlaw to what’s probably the second most important person in the hierarchy.

it’s such a long way to come. there’s so much to get through to end up where they are.

and both of them only really come into power once it’s already almost too late to do anything with it. everyone else is also facing extinction but these two feel the weight of all those lives so acutely because of the positions they’ve been given.

but if they’re in love. if they go through all of that and fall in love in the process. if they open their hearts while everything around them is literally about to end forever. if he’s the glue holding her together and she’s the only hope he can still believe in. then they’re building their partnership in a graveyard. they both know, this might be all they get. this is probably it. and everyone else - they have it bad, but there’s just a unique tragedy here with shepard and her love interest in that she will save the galaxy, but chances are, she cannot save herself and that means she also cannot save the one who loves her more than anyone else.

these two people working tirelessly to stave off the end of everything, the weight of the galaxy on their shoulders and only each other to lean against, and they’re the ones who pay the price to end the war. they come all this way only for her to give up everything, and for him lose the only guiding light he’s ever had - at best, for a time, and at worst, forever. he might put the plaque on the memorial wall or he might not, but either way their sacrifice is so fucking heavy.

he holds her together until the end and she’ll use it to shatter herself on the citadel. she’s his guiding light and it’ll go out when the path ahead of him is at its least clear, its most daunting.

the war is won, but they’re the ones who lose, and it makes me insane just to think about.

[pumpkinsy0]

Curly doesn't like Dally because TIM doesn't like Dally. and curly is a good little soldier. good soldiers follow orders. -tim shepard. . . . probably.

but no seriously curly would probably be like: "what the fuck man? Pony can gallivant around town with Dallas Winston, the same kid that bets on horses, gets into drunken fights at bucks and probably has a hit on him back in new york but I left out some glue and it melted into your table suddenly I'm the bad one?!"

THATS ANOTHER REASON TOO, its those 2 reasons and bc curly just feels jealous and taunted by dally even though its SUCH one sided beef, u mention curly to dally and he’s rolling his eyes

AND YES ITS EXACTLY THAT, pony mentions that dally was involved in a murder wrap to curly and curly is most DEFINITELY pissed cause how is HEEEEE not allowed in but THAT guy is???

wouldnt even be surprised if curly asked “is it bc im black🤨🤨🤨” thats like the only logical explanation he got in his mind of why darry wont let him in that god forsaken house

[incorrect-mass-effect-quotes]

Shepard: James, it's the middle of the night! Did someone glue you to the fridge?

James: No...

Shepard: James... Did you glue YOURSELF to the fridge?

James: ...Yes.

[swaps55]

Trademark: Pining So Hard They Become Trees(tm)

Proud to be home to this particular trademark, my friend. Is it really pining if they aren't going so hard they can still long for each other while in each other's arms? I think no. XD

I could cite this entire chapter of Cantata for Pining So Hard They Become Trees, but I'll keep it to this bit, which is one of my favorites: ~

In the silence of space, the ‘Yang skips through firing lanes close enough to stick a knife in the enemy’s gut, the knife in this case being the GARDIAN lasers chewing away armor plating and shearing apart small enemy fighters that stray too close.

Ship-to-ship combat is an attrition of heat and numbers, and Kaidan has no control over any of it.

Not the moments of vertigo as the inertia dampeners temper the ‘Yang’s maneuvering burns, the intermittent shudder as the weapons systems find a target, not the slow, steady buildup of waste heat that will eventually force them to flee or cook within their own hull.

And not Shepard. The entire covert operation will play out on helmet cams and comm channels, with Kaidan as a witness. Shepard is nothing more than a pinprick of warmth, lost in the rage of heat playing out on sensors. Kaidan glues his eyes to that pinprick, heart in his throat as he waits to see if the Cannae’s GARDIAN lasers detect the infiltration team hidden in the heat signatures of the battle playing out around them.

It’s not until Shepard’s grav boots connect with the Cannae’s hull that the white drains from Kaidan’s knuckles.

But now that they’ve reached the target, there’s a new fear. Pendergrass hovers over Kaidan’s shoulder, chewing a hangnail as the N team hunts for explosives along the hijacked ship’s hull, because its captors would rather slag the whole thing than see it taken back.

Shepard finds the first bomb.

Pendergrass stops chewing and reviews the scans, walking Shepard through diffusing it, and every other one they find, while Kaidan listens in helpless silence until he’s forced to take another breath.

The comms erupt with gunfire when they breach the hull. Kaidan fixes his gaze on Shepard’s helmet cam, the visual slightly out of sync with the audio feed. They had no way to know how many enemies would be waiting on board, but four N6s led by the galaxy’s first N7 don’t give a shit about the odds. Somewhere in the mix Anderson manages to shut off the gravity, taking the linear firefight into multiple planes.

It’s like freeing a predator from a cage. Shepard’s helmet cam spins with dizzying swiftness as he kicks off walls, floor and ceiling ceasing to have meaning in zero G. His shotgun barks over the comm, tendrils of blue flickering around the edges of the camera lens, but this far away Kaidan’s gravity well remains silent and still.

A ragged cheer raises the rafters on the ‘Yang as the lead ship of the ragtag flotilla goes up. Kaidan presses a finger against his ear to ward off the sound, concentrating instead on the helmet cam and looking for any change in Shepard’s biofeeds.

The N team reaches the CIC. A lieutenant named Angevin goes down when they trigger an explosive while breaching the door, but not Shepard, it’s not Shepard, because there he is on Anderson’s helmet cam, blowing in like a tempest and executing three people, including their leader, without uttering a word. Minutes later, the stolen ship’s transponder changes back to an Alliance signature and the cheering begins anew.

Half the crew waits at the ‘Yang’s airlock to greet the N team when they return, Kaidan among them, swallowing back his relief like it’s a living, breathing thing. He gets lost in the shuffle when the airlock opens and the yelling starts, but Shepard’s gaze cuts through the crowd, and he parts it like Moses and the Red Sea. With a grin on his face that could shake the stars, he throws an armored arm around Kaidan and hugs him tight, thunking an energetic palm against his shoulder. Kaidan returns it just as fierce, the plating stiff and sterile against him.

“Did you see that?” Shepard exclaims when they part, elation on his face, hand still on Kaidan’s shoulder, biotic field humming with kinetic energy. This is Shepard in his element, Shepard at his best. The impossible means nothing to him.

Kaidan grins back. “Yeah, I saw it.”

How can I look away when it’s you?

[aceouttatime]

17, 27, 37 and 47 from the shep questions if you’re taking em!

howdy, spooky! i see it's a 7 day for you lmao--thanks for the ask! <33

17. Have they done any interviews? How did the first one go? And the most recent?

-> I answered this one here! He doesn't take shit. He WILL walk away. He will embarrass you, but very politely.

27. The last time they were rude to someone:

-> I answered this one here! Short answer: recently, and yes, it was Garrus, because of course it was.

37. What is their favorite way to eat potatoes

-> Potatoes were a huge staple in Shep's diet growing up in a rural colony on Mindoir--they grew them where he lived! Potatoes are decently resilient crops, don't require nearly as much fertilizer or chemical additives as a lot of other common ones, and they use less water as well, which was important for an up-and-coming colony that relied mostly on well water and rainfall collection.

He enjoys a good plate of cajun fries. Every place seasons them a little bit differently, especially when you're out of the Sol system. The Citadel has a variety of restaurants that specialize in human cuisine, of course, and when shore leave allows, he's not passing up the opportunity to eat something other than the glue-paste Alliance MREs. One of the places that serve more authentic (or at least decent imitation) southern United States of N.A. food, is a mom-and-pops sort of place in Kithoi ward run by an older asari and her wife, who grew up in New Orleans. Best place for cajun fries, if you ask Shep, and they have a killer shrimp po'boy.

47. Do they let others take care of them?

-> No. Shepard is infuriatingly stubborn when it comes to accepting help, especially when that help comes with showing emotional vulnerability. He holds fast to the comfort of being self-sufficient, of distancing himself from others. He's lost too much to trust that he won't be caught in the eye of another storm, forced to watch as the world around him collapses, knowing there is nothing that his gun, his hands, his voice, can do to challenge the wrath of nature.

Part of it's that profound fear of loss. The other is the guilt-addled discomfort of bearing his weaknesses to those he cares most about. Shepard feels like he has to be this sort of rock for those around him. If that rock is not firmly grounded, emotions under wrap, self-assured and invulnerable, then Shepard feels he's betrayed that promise.

No one can live like that forever, though. It's an unhealthy, impossible standard. It leaves him deeply stressed and isolated. As time goes on, from the raid of his home, to the years of military training under the Alliance, to accepting the mantle of Spectre, that tension builds. In the final years of his life, under the weight of a dying galaxy, he at last begins to see the people closest to him for who they are: his friends, his family, and his partner--his second half.

The first crack in his facade was the particularly nasty aftermath of a week-long mission, tracking an indoctrinated former Hierarchy black ops unit in the jungles of Invictus. The defectors possessed the whereabouts of a dangerous surveillance device in Council space with ties to the Reapers. Shepard, Grunt, and Garrus, as well as temporary allies from one of the few colony ports near the tropical belt, Lusa-Visdivias, faced guerrilla ambushes from pirates, deadfalls set by the traitors, and the unforgiving wilderness of Invictus.

Despite taking all possible precautions to defend against the planet's natural and unnatural dangers, as it was notorious for early colonists to succumb to diseases and toxins wrought by Invictus' wilds, by the dawn of the fifth 30-hour day, an attack by a pack of sehkuin (large, plated apex predator, "Invictus' six-legged giant varren"), left Shepard with a half-destroyed enviro-suit and concerning gash through his abdomen. Infection set in soon, and despite his commendable protest, Shepard had to rely on Garrus to keep him from bleeding out in his delirium.

He did some things in that haze that he shouldn't have: there was the roll of salty tears down his dirty face, the way his hand held on to a three-taloned one for too long, with too much weight. There was the warmth of a strong pair of arms, the soothing song of sounds that didn't translate, and the care of those that did.

Shepard doesn't remember all of it, just bits and pieces before they were able to make it to a safe house for the shuttle back to the Normandy, and Chakwas got ahold of him. Garrus does, though. They didn't get the data, but he learned much more than he expected.

Maybe that's when Shepard's defenses started going downhill. I guess we'll never know, hm?

[midisdying]

Ok. Hear me out!

ME3 Sleep deprived MShepard shenanigans and very brief Mshenko.

I had this idea for a long time now and I need to let it out. I haven't written anything in a while so you will have to excuse me poor writing skills...

I just wanted some fluff ok?!

AND IF THERE ISN'T NONE I'LL MAKE IT MYSELF!

also Happy late N7 day ppl!

_________________________________

It wasn't unusual to see Commander Shepard hanging around random areas of the Normandy. Talking to his crew or just doing paper work.

When asked why he wouldn't make use of his personal quarters he'd say it helped him stay focused and awake. The only thing he'd skip over was the amount of time he'd actually stay awake for. Like the time while still working for Cerberus, Shepard had stayed awake for three days in a row (against the very sound medical advice of Dr. Chakwas) before the Normandy's first touchdown on Tuachanka.

Nevertheless, Shepard knew his limit and upon reaching it he would head back to his quarters for a few hours of rest before repeating the cycle.

So to say that finding their CO passed out at one of the mess hall tables was a bit of a surprise to some of the lower rank crew members of the Normandy would be an understatement.

"He's been out for a while now, hasn't he?" Garuss asked, joining the little circle of some of the oldest members of the Normandy crew that had gathered around the table occupied by Shepard's slumped body. Others either actively avoiding or sending curious glances towards the group.

"I guess even that abomination couldn't keep him up at this point. Swear I saw him adding three tablespoons of coffee into that thing last night.” Kaidan said while taking a long, disgusted look at the cup standing not too far from Shepard's face.

"Good thing then that he has all those cybernetics, otherwise his heart might’ve stopped. Again." Joker mentioned sitting at the opposite side of the table.

"Should we do anything? Like wake him up? I can't imagine that this is the most comfortable sleeping position for humans.” Tali spoke up, turning her head towards Liara who just came up behind her.

"I suppose we could, but we could also get some markers, or if we're feeling especially mean-"

"Not if we don't want to get a biotic throw to the face as soon as he wakes up, we don't." Kaidan swiftly interrupted whatever Joker was about to suggest.

"Yeah, you'd know something about that, right? Cause you know, you almost shot him."

"You're never going to let that go, are you?" Kaidan looked back at Joker who was mildly amused by the major's irritation.

"Can we backtrack a bit? Why markers? What would we even do with them?" Garrus spoke up before the two could start anything else.

"I assume that Jeff and Major Alenko are talking about a form of a popular hazing prank done by humans in which the sleeping person, in most cases, has their face drawn on or covered with various usually viscous substances. Like toothpaste, soap, whipped cream, or glue.” Explained EDI.

There was a moment of silence where the non-human crew looked at eachother and then at the two awake humans in the room. Liara first broke the quiet atmosphere.

"That seems… incredibly childish."

"Yeah, it does." Garrus agreed then added "SO, where do we keep the markers?"

The asari turned her gaze towards the former C-Sec officer with a disappointed expression. "You can't be serious about this.”

"Come on, Liara, it'll boost morale." Garrus said trying to jokingly convince the asari into joining the mischief.

"Can we draw something nice, though?" asked Tali.

"You can draw whatever you want, Tali" Joker answered slowly standing up from the table.

"You're really going to let them do this, EDI?" Kaiden asked, making his voice a bit louder, even though he knew he didn't really need to.

"I am taking this as an opportunity to expand my knowledge on organic humor."

"Just no dicks, alright?" He said mainly looking at Joker in mild defeat.

For now Joker staggered over to the medbay to ask Dr. Chakwas about the markers, Tali and Garuss disappeared to ask about them in the crew’s quarters, and Liara went back to her room in search of something. Kaiden was left alone in the mess hall with his sleeping boyfriend.

He brought himself to sit in a chair closer to Shepard, looking over his relaxed form. It was a rare sight these days. Understandably, with what felt like the entire galaxy pushing down on the commanders shoulders. He slowly reached out to delicately caress Shapars cheek, to which he unconsciously leaned into the touch. Kaiden slightly startled that he accidentally woke up his lover retreated his hand but even after a minute of stillnes Shepard hasn't shifted. The only noticeable movement was his chest slightly rising and falling with every breath.

The major sat back for a moment taking in the sight before him then stood up taking the cup, containing the now cold, disgusting beverage, to dispose of it. He may love this man, but he definitely doesn't approve of his taste in coffee.

Three hours later Shepard woke up to a glass of water and a ration bar with a note from Kaidan, a blanket he saw laying on Liaras bed during one of their often talks, as well as a surprising amount of doodles on his face in blue, red, and black marker.

[laelior]

So. Beth and the aftermath of akuze. Do you have any thoughts about her recovery process? What weighs hardest on her? And Marian Lou, I'll take any info about them, too. I love the thought of two almost making it. I'm sad they didn't both make it off akuze and then the inevitable happens later, during recovery. (or, you know, doesn't happen at all. Why can't they both make it. Why. Tell me. Don't be cruel.)

First of all, thank you so much for the ask!

My answer is a bit long, so it's under a cut.

There were two parts to her recovery: physical and mental/emotional, as is true for pretty much every Sole Survivor Shep.

The physical recovery was the more straightforward of the two. She almost lost a leg from damage to her femoral artery (one of her own squad members panicked and accidentally shot her) and had to have skin grafts over 20% of her body (thresher maw acid). These took time to heal, and she was not particularly compliant with the care team that treated her because she was in a truly shitty mental state. It took her a good two months to get back on her feet, and another month on top of that to get cleared for light duty again.

Arguably, she never emotionally recovered from it. She had other traumatic losses in her life (see: Mindoir), but she was able to externalize that to a large degree by joining the Alliance. The Alliance, for their part, was happy to help her hone her trauma into a weapon that she wielded mercilessly against batarians, slavers, and pirates she came across.

She joined the Alliance as something of a brat, 100% convinced that she was hot shit after killing four of the batarian raiders when she was barely 16. Between her attitude and her being a biotic, she didn't make many friends. Except for Marian Luo and Eva Radnakova. The three of them remained close after basic, but Marian was really the glue that kept their social circle together. She and Beth had an off-and-on friends with benefits arrangement that developed into genuine feelings over time, but neither of them was mature enough to really deal with it. It was complex and a bit thorny, especially when Beth became her commanding officer, and sometimes strained their friendship with Eva, who felt like something of a third wheel.

The ending of the Akuze ficlet was intentionally vague with respect to how Marian died. The only people who know what actually happened are Beth herself and Anderson, who coaxed it out of her when he was interviewing her for N-school. She was convinced he was going to kick her out of the Alliance. She wanted him to kick her out of the Alliance. There were no convenient targets to externalize her grief and anger on in this case, and she couldn't cope with what happened.

Since this is the story of Commander Shepard, then-Lieutenant Shepard was not only not kicked out, she was recommended for N-school. Accepting the invitation took some convincing on Anderson's part.

So while she was able to get her shit together and go on to become the first human Spectre, the Hero of the Citadel, etc., she never really emotionally recovered. The whole Akuze incident cemented the idea in her mind that she couldn't have nice things because they would only get taken away. She lost her family. She lost her squad including someone she cared deeply about. The only constants in her life were her grandparents, and she had a hard time even letting them in. Her POV chapters in Periapsis are centered around her inability to let her walls down and let Kaidan in. She doesn't admit, even to herself, that she loves him until she has him at gunpoint during the Citadel coup, and she very nearly has to kill him. She doesn't say it out loud to him until much later.

If we're talking hypotheticals here, if Marian had somehow survived, Akuze would have still been traumatic, but it wouldn't have affected her nearly as deeply. And who knows? The two of them might have gotten their shit together and lived happily ever after.

[shadesofmauve]

Shepard's team needs to evacuate biotic teenagers from a mining station before the reapers get to them, and Khalisah Al-Jilani is along to report on the war effort.

Cortez took the shuttle in fast and low over the surface of the moon. Shepard had the visual in her HUD, a translucent overlay of barren rock blurred by speed, her waiting team shadows beyond it. Waiting team and one reporter. She checked the feed from Khalisah’s suit again; all greens. Westmoreland was sticking to her like glue, as ordered. The camera drone hovered in the center of the shuttle, collecting… well, valuable marines-sitting-on-their-asses footage, apparently. Rhi pretended not to notice when Drake flipped it off.

Chapter 28 is UP! I had so much fun with this one, y'all.

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

do you have a webtoon? And if so, do you know or read about "the princess's jewels"? if not, that's fine. But I would like a better scenario or maybe "worse" (yandere type) for the characters since they have potential but the story is not doing very well. As I already said, if you don't know him, there's no problem 😉

So after this, I speed-read as much of the series as I could. For anyone who’s not aware, the webtoon Princess’ Jewels written by JYUN and illustrated by Hong Cha, is about beautiful princess Arianna and her collection of men that help her fight for her claim as empress. Her ‘jewels’ consist of Nell, Efrit, Haun Beik, Raymond, and Jade. Now I might catch some heat for this and as someone who doesn’t read webcomics very often, my opinion might not be as developed as others but here goes.

I actually really like it. I’ve read that the trope of that maincharacter that just kind of has everything work for them was really bothering people, which I get. But I’m also a big fan of these types of stories as they are fun to cheer on and to watch evil characters or enemies be utterly defeated. She does collect these men like pokemon but in a way that makes it all the more thrilling as she effectively uses them to reach her goals. Big guns don’t mean anything if you don’t know how to use them and that’s what makes Arianna so attractive to me. This leads me to my next point.

How many people thought her character was that of a Mary Sue and to some degree I can see that. But to me I love her motivations and true feelings about things more than I want to see benevolent hero-type mc. Her motivation is lust. Their motivations are lust. People around them either reflect this same thing or a lust for power. Everyone’s motivations all hold some similarity to one another and for that I think the lesser evil would be Arianna. She fawns over these boys in the same way readers do when they come on screen. It makes me like Arianna more as she works to hold herself together. Not to mention when it comes to words in nobility she can hold her own pretty well; she’s cool like that. And I like the ambiguity that comes with some of her decisions. Is it lust? Or her motivations to take down her father’s concubine? Is it her being genuinely nice? Or is this a tactical advantage? 

I won’t bore you any longer with my defenses and opinions for the webtoon. I’ll just dive right into the yandere types and possibly talk about what I might do in the future:

Nell Phantom: This handsome boy is the wolf man of your dreams! He’s powerful, he's smart and he is really good at keeping the harem in line. But beneath his loyalty and regiment-oriented personality he gets possessive and he’s incredibly protective. He’s…one of my favorites~<3He’s the best behaved out of all of them. I wouldn’t change him at all for he’s the unsaid glue of the harem; he keeps even the rowdiest ones in line and I appreciate him for it. He has expressed a desire to…breed but he’s obedient and possibly the most useful in Arianna’s quest.

Prince Efrit: This guy is okay. I’m mad at him because of what he did to Haun…but anyway he’s hotheaded, possessive, jealous, hard-headed, and he’s especially violent. But he’s got big booba so it's okay. He’s got a whole troupe that helps him with intimidation and patrol work which is always nice but all those traits previously mentioned he’s quite the handful. While Nell is your obedient, goal-oriented german shepard this man is your darling affectionate pitbull that will pummel through everyone with that pent up energy. You have to keep him sated if you don’t want him to chip at the other jewels. He doesn’t have the foresight to realize how his actions really hurt Arianna more than anything and for that I would say he’s the most dangerous. 

Haun Beik: My other favorite, this white beauty is so precious but I don’t think he’s fully…bloomed yet. Let me explain. Where he’s from there is a lot of his past that kept him there and even with Arianna it comes back to haunt him. The only really yandere thing he’s done is just kind of hold his own against the other gems (Efrit) and that was mostly unintentional. I think when it comes time he’s the perfect manipulator–able to coax things from his fans and garner Arianna’s divided attention by batting his eyes the right way. As he’s introduced we know he’s not weak and it’d be nice to see that come to play. He may not be able to use it on his definite assaulter (really hate that guy) but he can use it on Efrit at the very least, showing a darker more sinister side that has him fully intent on keeping the princess’s focus on him. There are so many ways his yandereness can go!

Raymond Amber “Lemon”: Mass manipulator and utter masochist. He gets off on the embarrassment and the chase of his relationship with Arianna. But like everyone else he has his own ambitions that he’s very skilled at achieving. He’s also violent as well but not like Efrit he has that foresight about maintaining reputations and the consequences of his actions. He’s perfect in social situations and in combat as long as she teases him some he’s not about to act out. He also seems to thrive in the community of the harem. While he definitely competes with them as well he sees their dynamics clearly and he knows what to say to play in that. He also has expressed quite the interest in Jade and granted some might say that he’s only doing that because Jade reacts the way he does but if you look hard enough perhaps Amber is also interested in Jade.  

Jade Meldian: Now this guy was attained in the jewelry box by more forceful means and did not come as willingly as the others thus he blames Arianna and resents her for it. Now he blames her for some things that happen while at her side, all while pushing away at the occasional observation about her personality that he likes. The way he refuses her is either, in my theory, conducted by a curse or an unfortunate resolution to kill Arianna one day. He’s got potential as a secret yandere that in fact is willing to escape the jewelry box so that he may own Arianna. I know it's a stretch but I kind of like him and it’d be nice to have a yandere that doesn’t exactly love the idea of being another in her harem. Instead developing some twisted goal to make Arianna his own.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There are so many others, I can delve into the others if you ask for it but that's about it. Now there’s a high chance I will write with a premise like this or within this story and what I’m thinking is that the reader is a noble friend, a bit of an oddball outcast that keeps their face hidden in a veil. Nonetheless, Arianna is deeply in love and has full intentions of having you when she becomes empress. So she’ll no doubt spill her desires to her harem who are all quite reluctant about you and each has their own concerns but still commence with the plan. Basically, you aren’t fully hers just yet but she’s able to reveal your face which is actually cursed to make people fall in love. Suddenly the harem and Arianna’s tune changes as it's all made clear about what they need to do–Make Arianna Empress and protect keep watch have (Y/n) of the house of (L/n).

But who knows~just a thought

[sliceoflifeshepard]

Jakobi Shepard being the most loyal, protective motherfucker. Raising someone's child as if they were his own and absolutely falling in love with them.

Wanting to do anything for them, being the glue that holds the family together because someone has to be the strong one. Making sure both his wife and child are okay but trying to keep his true feelings at bay so he doesn't upset Felicity or Ash.

He knows how delicate the situation is.

And he works through the pain.

[ficbrish]

ME4: Aftermath Chapter 1

"Rubble" [AO3]

Rating: Explicit, 18+ only

Tags: Post-Reaper War, Destroy Ending (Mass Effect), Shepard Survives (Mass Effect), Biotic Shepard (Mass Effect), Colonist (Mass Effect), War Hero (Mass Effect), Sentinel (Mass Effect), Paragade (Mass Effect), Novel, Slow To Update, POV Alternating, Plot, Established Relationship, Queerplatonic Relationships, Eventual Relationships, Adventure & Romance, Fluff and Humor, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Found Family, Rebuilding, Reunions, Canon-Typical Violence, Dorks in Love, I Will Go Down With This Ship

[[TW/CW: Grief, alcohol]]

[All Chapters]

Major Kaidan Alenko was familiar, too familiar, with the feeling of cold steel in his hands, but nothing ever froze between his fingers like the plaque he gripped tightly now. It was engraved with the name of his favorite person.

The crew of the Normandy were all used to sad, difficult things. Some of them had even gone through Commander Shepard’s death before.

It would all be okay.

And yet…

They found themselves wishing they were back in recent time, still in the heat of the Reaper War; even with billions being harvested, because that's when seeing her was as simple as turning a corner. When Shepard was around.

It was a stupid, selfish thought.

The Major's team stood behind him, well, most of them... The holes that EDI and Shepard had left behind cratered into vast gulfs and filled with a mess of stinging, burning grief. It was a glue between them that broke them apart. They were anxious about Kaidan losing it again, and a part of himself was too. 

The time had come to add her name to the wall. They’d all agreed it would be good for him; to be the one who... It’s what she would’ve wanted.

To hold her one more time.

Sort of.

Kaidan breathed deeply and shakily as he stepped towards the memorial. All he needed to do was put her to rest above her Cap- her father’s name. Admiral David Anderson—that call had come once they got their comms restored. Anderson and Shepard confirmed dead.

“What does ‘confirmed’ mean? Do they have a body?” he’d asked, bearing down over Liara’s shoulder while gathering himself together after a particularly rough fit. She was plastered to the computer screen by her wall of monitors.

Liara had been more patient with him lately considering the circumstances, but she still shrugged his added weight off her back.

“She’s gone, Kaidan. I’m so sorry.”

“Did they find a body?”

“Kaidan…”

“Did they?!”

“It’s not going to be like the last time,“ Liara stated mechanically, still not meeting his face.

“You don’t know that,” he said, and repeated, “Did they find a body?”

“It wasn’t clear.”

It was enough to give him hope. Shepard was capable of anything.

He felt a bit silly standing there in front of that wall, another funeral with no body to mourn. It was Tali’s idea, people needed to say goodbye to EDI, Anderson, and… and Shepard. Now that the extranet was partially up and the Normandy was space-worthy, it was time to head out again. It was the perfect moment for closure.

But Kaidan wasn’t ready to say goodbye.

He hesitated a moment before encrusting her name on the tomb. His expression twisted up with the loss of her, and then—

Oh Goddess! Liara thought.

Kaidan turned around and announced to the crew, “She’s not dead! We’re going to find Shepard,” with a gleeful mania about him.

They all groaned.

Liara let out a half-choke, half-inhale. Then burst into tears and fell into Tali’s arms.

“I’m just so stressed out,” she said to reassure everyone, as if that were better.

Vega wasn't trying to be a dick when he asked, “And you all still think putting him in charge was a good idea?”

“Hey now,” Garrus warned, one hand resting on Tali’s shoulder as she comforted Liara.

“Why is everyone upset?” Kaidan asked, “This is great news!”

Garrus gave Liara a look that said, Go get Chakwas.

Liara understood. She nodded, wiped her eyes, and began to sidle out of their small crowd.

“Hey! No! You’re not going to get Dr. Chakwas. I’m fine,” Kaidan insisted.

The way the old crew could effectively communicate without words still impressed and intimidated everyone else. Traynor looked at the floor, shuffling her feet, and suggested, “I could try to strengthen the comms, you know, once we resupply and do some more minor repairs.”

“Now you’re encouraging him,” Vega reprimanded, crossing his arms.

“I think the Major is right,” Javik stated, glaring at Vega.

“Liara, you’re the one who found her last time, and now you have more resources than ever.”

“Exactly, Kaidan. I have more resources than ever and no news,” she snapped.

His face began to fall. 

A moment of silence followed that had nothing to do with respect for the dead.

After a while, Joker blankly said, “I’ll get the ship ready to go,” and hobbled over to the elevator. 

Traynor left for the bar. Vega and Javik followed her, arguing.

Tali put a hand on Kaidan’s arm, a gentle and pitying gesture.

“You have to be prepared for the worst,” she told him in a kind, but hard, voice.

Kaidan covered her hand with one of his, “I know.”

Garrus nodded at him, Kaidan nodded back. He watched Garrus lead Tali away. 

Liara remained.

“She was my best friend,” she stated.

“I know. You were hers.”

“And you just ruined her memorial service.”

He didn’t respond. 

“And now you’re sending the rest of us on a fruitless search—”

“How can you say that?”

“Joker saw the whole thing explode! This isn’t like the last time. Last time she was ejected into space, not incinerated.”

Kaidan was quiet for a while, then said, “I’m sorry I’ve made this so hard on everyone.”

He stepped heavily into the elevator, cradling that plaque in his hands like it was precious.

Humans were terrible at letting go.

*                       *                       *                       *                       *                       *

Gasp!

Dying hurt a lot more this time.

Cough—Cough! Gasp! Cough!

Everything was so dark. At least death in space had given her the stars. 

There were no stars here.

And a lot of pain.

Last time had been painful too, but only for a little while. This time it was constant, a steady wave of excruciating sensations that dulled together into a new feeling of normal. It was so bad it even woke her up.

Woke her up?

Shepard tried to open her eyes but couldn’t see. She tried to move.

But couldn’t do that either.

She was alone.

Then that blissful nothingness enveloped her once again. 

*                       *                       *                       *                       *                       *

The baby was screaming.

“I want everyone able on this search! Scrounge through the rubble until your hands bleed. We need her found, dead or alive.”

The furious voice boomed and filled the room, even over the wailing child. Wrex had not slept in days, and the baby was screaming in his ear. The war had nothing on its aftermath.

Wrex growled, “A body! You hear me? I want a body!”

The other Krogan feared and respected him too much to argue, but they all thought it was pointless. Days had already passed, and they'd found the body of the former Human councilor on the first. Fear and respect aside, there were females to fertilize and extractions to be made. Earth was less populated now, but the Humans would want it back. They needed terms, not a pile of ashes. They needed their leader to lead.

The baby was screaming.

Wrex threw the little monster in the air and caught it. A peaceful smile replaced the noise. He repeated the gesture again and again, grateful for the momentary quiet, and sunk into his thoughts.

“Have communications been able to reach beyond the Sol system yet?”

“No, sir. At least not from us. But people have been able to get news outside of the system via travelers,” answered one of the Human Alliance soldiers assigned to assist him.

Wrex grunted, which made the human nervous. The baby continued to giggle and squeal as she flew between gravity and her father’s arms. 

It had been almost a week, but Shepard could still be alive. That window was closing more every day, and it was dangerously close to being shut for good. Wrex couldn’t let that happen. If they brought back a body, it wouldn’t be one that had expired after the explosion.

“You saw it Wrex,” Bakara kept insisting when he'd come back at night, “With your own eyes. We all did.”

The sky had lit up.

They’d been losing, and they all knew it. 

Then the sky lit up, and the Citadel began to rain down into the atmosphere. Hell had come to take them all home.

Then—

A pulse of red energy swallowed the world, and the monsters went away.

The Reapers were all gone. 

Just like that, while the ruins of the Citadel still fell in brilliant streaks across the red-blue sky.

The Reapers were gone! The Genophage was cured!—He held his own child in his hands! And everyone was telling him to give up on the person who'd made it all happen. 

His own sister.

Wrex caught the baby one more time, then pounded his free fist on the desk.

“I’m going. Somebody get Bakara, or watch this baby.”

He handed the now-delighted child off to the nearest guard.

“Here, you’re her uncle now. Uncle…?”

“Quash Brax”

“Ugh,” Wrex sighed. “Okay, well, uh, have fun with Uncle Brax, kid.”

Then Wrex stormed out of the room.

Why did he always have to do every damn thing himself?

Except when Shepard was around. She never let him work alone.

“And somebody feed those fucking cats while I’m out!” Wrex roared as he barreled through the city’s ruins.

*                       *                       *                       *                       *                       *

Kaidan could still smell her on the bed, but he knew it was only a matter of time before that was gone too. He was lying on it now, looking up at the stars like they did in those last weeks together.

“I get the same feeling when I look at you, you know?” Kaidan had said then.

Shepard smiled and squeezed his hand, “I always wanted to show you this.”

It had been one of the first times they’d spent just lying there on their backs and watching the stars from her bed.

“If I wasn’t such an ass, you could’ve shown me sooner,” he responded.

She laughed at him the way she did when she thought he was being ridiculous.

“You weren’t being an ass, Kaidan. You were being realistic, and I needed that.”

“Heh, was still a bit of an ass, though.”

They could have had one more year together.

There was a knock, and the doors slid open.

“Sorry, automatic,” Liara shrugged apologetically.

Kaidan patted the spot on the bed next to him. Liara took his invitation and joined him. He held out an arm, and she sidled up to his side.

“You need to sleep,” she said, yawning and resting her heavy head on his chest.

“Yeah, well…”

“Yeah,” Liara agreed.

Kaidan sighed, “I’ve been getting on everyone’s nerves, haven’t I?”

“Especially mine,” she joked, and it made him smirk.

“Thank you for, for everything,” Kaidan said, feeling his face turn hot. Twice she had seen him completely surrender to loss. She’d witnessed his wailing. She'd held together while he fell apart; only once joining in his lament, that night as they flew away. 

“You were there for me after Benezia. And after Thessia… It’s what friends do.” Liara said.

He squeezed her shoulder, pressing her against him. Somehow, slowly, they’d become each other’s family.

“But with Benezia, I wasn’t hurting too,” he added, “And Thessia was devastating, but it wasn’t my planet.”

Liara shrugged, “I’ll be fine, Kaidan, “Do not worry about me.”

“Do you remember that last fight?”

Liara tensed up. Kaidan kept talking about everything she just wanted to forget.

“What about it?” she asked.

“I just really thought that was gonna be it. Shepard had that fear in her voice I’d never heard. We all did, and we all kept going—Well, they kept coming. And I kept losing sight of you and Shepard, but you were both right there. I know I won’t shut up about it, I’m sorry, but I never had any siblings and… I’ve just never felt as close to anyone as I have with you and her. I got through all that because we were a team. Now I’m getting through this, I think, I don’t know... But I’m only able to stay together because—”

“We’re a team,” Liara finished for him, and patted his hand. He nodded.

“I wouldn’t worry about it, Kaidan. Everyone’s been getting on everyone’s nerves,” she said kindly after a bit.

“I feel like we should do something about that, don’t you?”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know. Get everyone together in one room? Air it out? Do something fun together?”

“I have no energy for that," Liara sighed, "but it sounds necessary.”

“I just don’t want it all to fall apart like the last time she—,” he stopped.

“I know, me neither,” she agreed tiredly and yawned, “So Alenko, what do you have in mind?”

The two friends began planning how to null the Normandy’s growing chasm, their eyes lazily tracing the stars as they passed by above them.

*                       *                       *                       *                       *                       *

It was an awkwardly wide chasm. What had erupted into a stir-crazy, spiraling rash once they’d gotten back into space began with a restless itch inside them all from being trapped in the unknown on some random planet.

They’d landed on fucking Pragia. That haunted, overflowing jungle planet.

“I’ve been here before,” Tali said on their second stuck day, “It’s fucking Pragia.”

What Cerberus had done there to biotic children made Brain Camp look like a nurturing environment. Thankfully, they seemed to be nowhere near that facility, or what was left of it.

Ghosts weren’t a problem. The vegetation was.

“This is bullshit,” Vega complained, unloading a round of ammo into a patch of vines woven thickly around the Normandy. Kaidan had commanded them to work in groups; food, water, repairs, plants. Vega and Cortez were on vine duty again. They grew back with madness every few hours.

“I know,” Cortez agreed, panting. The humidity turned the suppression of their rifles' recoil into a real fight, “These vines are as aggressive as Turian Twinks during Pride.”

“Huh?”

Cortez sighed, “Nothing.”

The day they'd crash-landed was indescribable. It took only a few moments to turn everything hopeless. Months of scrounging to save the entire galaxy parred down to overwhelming seconds of FUBAR. It was agony, and then it was over.

Just like that.

Most of them were alive; some didn’t make it.

But most of them were alive. The galaxy was going to continue.

There wasn’t room for much else other than deep relief, but loss was so damn loud.

The second day was just as surreal but structured too. Kaidan had limped out of the Med-bay to address everyone. He looked rough, but spoke kindly and with consideration. They'd all agreed without words to put him in charge.

“I know you’re all eager to get back in the sky, but we have to do this right instead of fast,” Major Alenko told them.

Kaidan knew what it meant to be led by a monster—Vyrnnus, and a legend—Shepard. He was sure he could at least accomplish middle ground. It was the same thing he'd told himself when commanding his biotic squad.

He’d expected to hear opposition, but no one made a sound. They were all looking to him the way they’d looked to her.

“We have fuel, but not much,” Kaidan went on explaining, “Communications are still silent, so we don’t know what’s waiting for us up there. If we rush, and there’s no active fuel stations—Well… So, we have to wait until we know for sure.”

Everyone just looked at him, waiting for more. Kaidan didn’t know what else to give them other than blind hope.

“We’ve got this. We’re Shepard’s—We’re the crew of the Normandy.”

And, oh god, there it was: Pity.

“First things first,” Kaidan continued in a lighter tone, “We’ve gotta do something about those fucking vines before they trap us here forever.”

The windows had grown thick with them overnight.

“What about the engine?” Tali asked.

“That too,” Kaidan said, “It needs some repairs. Luckily, they’re minor. By the time we get in touch with anyone, we’ll probably be good to go.”

“What if there’s no one out there?” asked a faceless voice in the crowd.

People parted and revealed a member of the crew, Hiverson. They’d picked him up sometime towards the end. He'd only been there for the assault on the Cerberus base and battle for Earth. The Normandy wasn’t his sanctuary; home was far away. His face was pale brown, and afraid.

“They’re out there,” Kaidan said stubbornly.

Hiverson didn’t nod his head. The crowd, still strangers to him, swallowed up the staring crewman. His concern hung in the air.

They had to be out there.

“Any more questions?” the Major asked with a clap of his hands.

“No?” Kaidan repeated after more expectant staring, “Okay! Then let’s get into groups. Tali and Garrus, I want you on the engine with Joker. Help out Adams, Gabby, and Ken. Liara, you work with Traynor and try to get a signal. Vega, Javik, and Cortez, I want you to find a water source. Chakwas, come with me. Maybe we can find something edible to lessen the pressure on our stores. The rest of you, grab a gun and clear these vines before they cover every inch.”

Everyone took part, and everyone rotated roles—except for Tali and Garrus. It became apparent by the fourth day that they were only ever on repairs. Truth was, Kaidan was afraid to risk his dextro-amino friends on a world made for levo-amino life. They were cut off from the galaxy. If anything happened to them here… but he wouldn’t let it. The food and medicine remaining for them was another story though, and out of his control. The Normandy's dextro-supplies hadn't been restocked before the last battle.

They had to get out of here.

“Hey, L2!” Vega called out when he saw Kaidan coming back from the jungle, “How about you go get your pals to give us a break?”

It was Anderson who taught him that poking fun at command was a good thing. It built trust, and relieved tension. Annoying each other could be a beneficial type of play. Let them have fun and they’ll listen. Even after that whole incident when… with her visit. Just let it happen, Anderson had advised him. Be in charge, but be a person.

Vega could call him “L2” all he wanted. At least for now.

“Because my pals are already working on another very important task,” the Major answered.

“Yeah, but Adams has already been out here with Gabby and Ken.”

“Watch it, Meathead,” Cortez warned, “the Major might start to think you’re questioning his orders.”

“Question away,” Kaidan said, “There’s no reason to keep anyone in the dark concerning my decisions. Especially now. That being said, you want a break? I can take over.”

“That would be great!” Vega said, joyfully shoving his gun over to Kaidan and walking briskly towards the ship’s entrance. Traynor ran into him on her way out.

“So sorry!” she apologized as she continued her mad dash over to Kaidan and Cortez.

Traynor was out of breath when she reached them, but spoke anyway. “Major! Liara—go!" she panted, hands on her knees, "A message!”

Kaidan took off at a run, bumping into Vega on his way in.

Oh god, was the elevator always this slow?!

He bolted from its doors as they opened to the crew’s quarters, and flew over to Liara’s cabin.

“Do we have a connection?” he asked desperately, bursting inside.

Liara nodded.

“There’s a message,” she said. But something was wrong. There was no enthusiasm.

He joined her side to stare at the screen.

Reaper forces defeated. Citadel moved to Earth and destroyed. Council safe. Captain Anderson and Commander Shepard confirmed dead.

The message was signed by Admiral Hackett, broadcast out into the vastness of known space to anyone who could receive it.

“Comms are back online,” Liara stated dryly.

That’s when Kaidan lost it. He stopped breathing when he read those words, and it returned in violent shudders.

Liara shut the door, and a sound like a wounded animal crept along the Normandy’s walls. She spared him from being seen, but they’d all heard their commander break.

So, Tali thought it would be a good idea to have a memorial service.

*                       *                       *                       *                       *                       *

Could somebody turn the lights down, please? They’re too bright.

She saw white and red before she was aware of anything else. Snow and blood.

“Shepard?”

A voice like roasted gravel.

Her throat was dry-locked, so she couldn’t get the question out.

Is this death?

A rough, hot hand pressed her arm.

“Take it easy, now.”

She closed her eyes and opened them again.

The sight before her was so beautiful it brought tears to her eyes.

*                       *                       *                       *                       *                       *

Kaidan’s hope was infectious, a pathogen born out of refusal, not fact. Joker was doing his best to not let it grate on his nerves. 

Their fragile friendship had started to mend over the war but frayed again after the funeral. It was almost like the last time Shepard died, but with no one to blame. Over the past few days, they’d gone from brothers-in-loss to colleagues who tolerated each other.

Joker’s own hopes refused to shut up when Kaidan’s were so loud. It was cruel. They were never going to get them back, and they both needed to accept that.

Kaidan got in the way.

“What are you doing in here?” Her voice startled Joker from his thoughts.

She caught him over by the fried blue box again, with the body laid out respectfully underneath. She found him standing around here a lot lately.

“Jesus, Traynor. You scared me.”

“Sorry," she quipped, smirking shyly and looking at her feet, "I didn’t know I was scary.” 

“Yeah, well…”

Traynor nodded. Joker looked away.

Déjà vu, they’d done this before. A few times now. One would run into the other whenever they came by here.

Liara's smooth voice suddenly came over the loudspeaker, “Normandy crew to the bar. Port Observatory, toodle sweetie to the lounge!” Something in her tone was playful.

Then it was distant, small, and matter of fact. “The what? I don’t understand… I said tooth sweet. No, I’m not still—” rang her voice through every room.

“Oh, great. What are they doing on my intercom?” Joker asked frustratedly, masking his relief at the interruption. He let Traynor exit first.

He took one last look after she left, then tried to sneak his way back to the helm but was intercepted by Vega at the elevator.

“You’re coming with me, sad boy,” he said, grabbing him by the shoulders and spinning him around.

“Easy! It’s like you’re a yeti and you’re trying to maul me,” he chastised as Vega guided him, captive, towards the Port Observatory.

“Yeah, you’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

Joker rolled his eyes.

Everyone else seemed to spill into the room behind them.

Liara and Kaidan were already behind the bar, mixing drinks. The way they were smiling and joking was, frankly, a little scary. 

“Thank you all for coming,” Kaidan started, “My lovely blue friend and I realized something. In all the commotion and stress, we, ah, never really celebrated our victory.”

“We thought it would be good for us all to get together and share a drink,” Liara said.

“Or a few drinks, and clear the air,” Kaidan continued.

“Like a party?” Tali excitedly asked.

“Yes!” Kaidan said a little too loudly, pointing at her with the bottle in his hand, “Exactly like a party!”

“It’s like survivor’s guilt, but fun!” Liara added.

Kaidan entered something on his omni-tool and music started playing. A deep, electronic beat thrummed through the room.

Joker didn’t like the unhinged, unblinking look in both their eyes.

“I’m in!” Garrus exclaimed, and Tali stood on her toes to give him a high-five.

Cortez walked up to the bar and picked up two drinks, “¿Qué dices, Vega?”

“Wait!" Liara shouted, holding up two others, "Those are for Garrus and Tali, take these.”

They all crowded around the bar until each had a glass. Then they looked to Kaidan.

He nodded at the group and said, “To us, and to… to our girls. EDI and Essie.”

As one, they raised their glasses and drank deeply. It was going to be a long night, but at least there was alcohol.

Suddenly, Traynor threw her top off and stood there in her bra. Everyone turned to her, astounded.

“What?" she asked the room. "It was going to happen anyway. Might as well while I can still remember it.”

“No fair!” Tali whined, desperate to join in.

“If she’s doing it, I’m doing it,” Cortez announced, halfway free of his shirt already.

“That’s why I don’t mess with buttons," Vega undressed a lot faster than Cortez, "Takes too long.” His sleeveless undershirt flew to the other side of the room.

“Double no fair!”

Garrus draped his arms around Tali to comfort her.

Joker actually chuckled as he walked back over to the bar.

“I saw that,” Kaidan said, taking Joker’s glass to refill it.

“Yeah, well, fuck you,” he said with a weak smirk.

“Love you too, Joker.”

“You can’t use the L-word unless you’re really serious about us,” Joker quipped, grinning.

Dammit.

Joker was planning to sulk, but there was Kaidan getting in the way again.

*                       *                       *                       *                       *                       *

Shepard blinked. The pain was different now.

She was lying down on something soft.

It was still way too bright.

Before Shepard was aware of anything, her vision began to clear. Something large and alive was there with her, wherever she was. 

She closed her eyes and opened them again.

“Wrex?!”

“Shepard!”

“Wrex!”

“Shepard!” he shouted again, jumping up and clapping his hands against his head, “Grunt! Get in here!”

The younger Krogan slammed through the door, making it burst off its hinges. The surprised screams from the hospital staff could be heard through the walls.

“Shepard!

“Grunt!”

“Shepard!” Wrex called again.

“Wrex!” she cried out.

“Shepaaard!” Grunt grumbled.

“Grunt!”

It went on for a while like that, even after they started embracing and crying.

She'd made it! They'd made i—

“Oh, fuck! She passed out!” Wrex called out, “Nurse!”

“Nuuurse!” Grunt shouted, barreling out of the room. The door hit the floor with a loud smack.

*                       *                       *                       *                       *                       *

“Luckily she’s the fastest ship in the galaxy, but we’ve never been without relays before. All our ships were built with them in mind,” Joker explained, slurring very slightly.

Javik chuckled, “So were ours.”

“Presumably, so was everyone’s,” Liara added.

The three of them were sitting off to the side while everyone else was gathered around the poker table. These days, having been stuck and then coming back from nowhere, it was rarely without a crowd. Chakwas and Adams had even come over to join the game.

“I’ve got you now, Vakarian!” Vega exclaimed.

Liara could see Garrus glaring without even turning her head. Maybe it was the effect of her fourth drink, but she smirked.

“Is it harder without the robot?” Javik asked.

Joker sighed. His eyes moistened.

“Yeah, it’s been really hard. Thanks for asking.”

“I meant the navigation,” Javik corrected blankly.

Joker stared back.

Liara couldn’t help but laugh a little, and Joker joined in.

“What?” Javik asked.

Liara and Joker laughed a bit harder.

“You smug prick fuck!” Traynor shouted, startling them.

Kaidan had just won another round. “Your hatred only feeds me,” he chuckled proudly, gathering the pile of chips on the table into his arms.

Joker answered Javik’s original question, “Thanks to that firecracker over there, it hasn’t been as rough to navigate as it should be. She’s crazy, but she’s a genius.”

Liara took another sip and said, “That’s because all women are crazy to you, Joker. Non-Humans too!"

“What can I say?” he shrugged, “I’m a man, a Human man at that!”

Vega called over to them from the table, “What’s he saying over there about Human men? Joker giving us all a bad name?”

“Being fair,” Adams said, “Human men give us all a bad name every day.”

“Ouch! I happen to like Human men,” Cortez replied.

“Yeah, you do!” Vega said, holding up his hand for a high-five that Traynor met with a loud slap.

“Joker was just being a bigot, nothing new,” Liara informed the group.

They all groaned.

“I might have to meet you outside after school,” Tali warned, an obvious smirk in her masked expression.

“That’s right, everyone pick on the guy who can’t hit back without breaking something,” he said.

“Come on, Joker. What did you say this time?” Kaidan prodded.

Liara saw a certain expression darken Joker’s face. She turned to Kaidan and gave him a look from across the room that told him to back off. She saw him nod in acknowledgment.

“Joker thinks all non-Humans and women are crazy,” Javik stated.

“Might someone remind Mr. Moreau that his doctor is a woman?” Chakwas asked.

“I wasn’t serious,” Joker said defensively, “It’s in the name. Never listen to me.”

Liara smiled and leaned back in her seat. There hadn’t been banter on the Normandy like this since… 

And it was nice. 

It made her think of the party Shepard had on the Citadel, and suddenly she really missed Wrex. She hadn’t thought about him since they'd left Earth. Where was he now? She hoped he was okay.

The game finished with Tali sneaking up from behind and wiping everyone out. Unlike the party Shepard just had a few weeks ago, everyone decided to go to bed before they got through about a bottle each. They all cleared out after, leaving Liara and Kaidan behind to clean. The gathering had been their idea, plus biotics made the job easier and quicker.

“I’d say that was a success,” Kaidan stated, satisfied.

“I just hope it lasts for a while,” Liara added, floating the dirty glasses left lying around and placing them on the bar. Kaidan then cycled them through the automatic washer.

“Yeah," he agreed darkly, "I, uh, wouldn't want things to go back the way they just were." 

They continued in silence for a while, then he said, “I just wish she were here.”

Liara stopped what she was doing.

“I know,” she said.

“I’m sorry,” his voice was breaking, “I don’t want to drag us down.”

She sighed and put a hand on his shoulder.

“Kaidan, you’re okay. Just be sad if you’re sad.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry.”

“And stop apologizing,” she added. He looked up at her and smiled weakly. His eyes were red.

She wanted to comfort her friend. “We’re going to find her,” Liara said, taking his hand, “I promise.”

She didn’t know if she was lying, or if she actually believed it.

Fuck you, Kaidan. Liara thought, You were right.

It felt better to hope.

[Next Chapter]

[All Chapters]

[villainanders]

My only takeaway on the mandated Bioware bestie discourse is that finding out that Garrus apparently glues himself to your hip as your Specialest Boy Ever whether or not you romance him is hurting my precious feelings actually :( Are you telling me I’m not special?? you act like that with all the other shepards??

[pumpkinsy0]

Ponyboy and Angela duo headcannons?

these two,,,grrrr

•yknow i used to hc them as being bffs and curly, pony, and angela having a lil trio but now??? nahhhhhh not rlly ponys too much of a loser for angela

•i love those ones where angela is protective of curly even when it comes to pony bc she knows she can fuck him over bad,,like yea,,get that pathetic wet dog,,,so to some degree thats how i see em

•lets just ignore what happened in twttin and say that they r friends or at least acquaintances!!!

•i hate the hcs were angela is threatening curly to treat pony right bc,,no,,,thats not happening,,,angela sticks behind her family forever and always🤞🏽🤞🏽

•ofc angela has been like “dont fuck this up” to curly tho, but full on THREATENING??? nope

•curly would be happy seeing them like each other, makes him feel like he made the right choices

•i think theyd have like small talks here n there, pony doesnt know how to feel about angela and hes a lil intimidated by her, only real connection they got is curly

•angela gives pony some tips on how to deal w dating a #shepard, or just curly in particular😭

•i think if they were FRIENDS friends, theyd have some pretty meaningful convos actually, they teen angst w them is STRONG

•and they do have a lil bit to bond over like,,tim and darry being foils/mirrors of each other,,,then being the youngest,,,aw yea

•plus angela could actually have a friend, a GUY one at that, without feeling like they just wanna use or get w her

•angela would just pull pony around making him join in on her fucked up lil plans, god forbid they get curly in on it

•maybe i will make them a trio but its curly being the glue that holds em together,,perchance sylvia can join as a plus 1 for angela and is like the somewhat responsible mom of the group

[likeastarmuses]

pinned post!

primary muses.

women

elizabeth 'lizzie' opal rojas | fc: rosa salazar. retired drug dealer trying to make a name for herself in the digital art world when she's not waiting on tables at a greasy diner.

felicity isabel mendoza | fc: odette annable. former biker girl in her teenage years, now a single mom and midwife who is undoubtedly the glue to her family.

nancy inez martin | fc: deborah ann woll. mousy former combat medic dealing with so much trauma from war that she's in compassion fatigue and in need of human warmth and connection.

peyton marie tower | fc: halston sage. the nepo baby who dared to be something else, refusing money and fame from her tech giant CEO father while forming a legacy with her small-town game shop.

soleil jessamine smith | fc: madison davenport. rebel without a cause seeking the spotlight, trying so desperately to be different from her backwoods roots but losing herself in the meanwhile.

twyla mae mooney | fc: margot robbie. a rainbow personified, left a cushy cosmetology job in north carolina to do makeup and costumes in los angeles.

una carys tempens | fc: samara weaving. petty thief and stripper, all in the name of supporting her much younger twin siblings while her mother suffers from drug addiction.

men

beacon jace namara | fc: daniel kaluuya. old soul music teacher in love with jazz, constantly seeking gigs where he can show off his trumpet skills.

elisha 'eli' james king | fc: jon bernthal. loud but also a sweetheart of a former firefighter from jersey living in a firewatch lookout in honor of his late best friend.

ezekiel 'zeke' isaiah lim | fc: steven yeun. mid-tier gamer/streamer who is the anchor of his large family, having spent a lot of his 20s caring for his mother who was diagnosed with alzheimer's once he graduated college.

ford atticus smith | fc: adam driver. quiet and stoic veteran who is taking care of his large family farm, as well as running his own ferry business across lake pontchartrain in lousiana.

jamie alexander thompson | fc: paul rudd. english professor and lover of sports with a few published books, mostly a dork but also occasionally perceived as a dilf.

jesse gabriel mendoza | fc: jd pardo. fresh out of prison and trying to find his place in society again, keeping out of trouble by taking care of his motorcycle and dabbling in tattoo art.

kirk tiberius james | fc: andrew garfield. longtime comic book artist looking to make his big break in the profession while managing a coffee shop in a college town.

quinn 'soap' philip shepard | fc: pablo schreiber. brooding mercenary with hardly a soft spot, thinks with his fists before his brain, and will likely try to intimidate anyone who dares to peer behind his guard.

**horror-based AU details under the cut.

please go to each individual muse to see the horror-based plot ideas i have for them! and please keep in mind muses aren't limited to the plots i've quickly scribbled down for them. i'd love to explore more verses and horror-based fandoms! some of my favorite horror movies/franchises/genres include but are not limited to:

the conjuring/insidious/the nun

evil dead

saw

slasher - child's play, friday the 13th, halloween

nightmare on elm street

ready or not/you're next

the thing/alien/predator/annihilation

pearl/x

the witch

hereditary

giallo-type stuff/dario argento horror

[roughentumble]

oh. good. great. in addition to their cover based shooting.... they've now added a dodge roll mapped to the same button as running AND taking cover. so half the time when you try and glue shepard to a stupid little wall, she jumps out instead in an uninterruptable roll to leaves her getting shot in the ass.

just in case you wanted combat to suck even worse from game to game