#she's probably forgotten me already
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
irritablepoe · 1 year ago
Text
Only Poe and I would come up with the idea to write a book for our rivals to read and it turning out to be for nothing after all
12 notes · View notes
add1ctedt0you · 1 year ago
Text
Me, with the unpopular opinion that, in a wq lives au, where wq marries jc, novel canon wwx is not taking well the news about chengqing marriage
343 notes · View notes
kindred-spirit-93 · 1 month ago
Text
back from the dead (snort)
--
WAIT WAIT ARE YOU TELLING ME DEMETER HAS AN EPITHET REFERENCING VENGENFUL FURIES?! WAHT??? >:D!?!
asdfghjkl thank you! really glad u like her lol shes becoming my favouritest to doodle lol. also not at all! i really love that you kept the aspect of her grief that so many are keen to twist to villainise her or erase completely to invalidate her. both are awful imo
heres a quote from le ask (soon i promise 😭😂): "Demeter and Persephone share a strong bond compared to the other gods. After Persephones "death" Demeter was never really the same. Demeter relives the painful cycle annually, and carries a deep rooted bitterness toward the other gods for it."
--
i actually think its hilarious and awesome to see that demeter can be herself with those shes close with (one of my favourite things in characterisations is when you have what seems to be a stern and serious presenting person breaking character at a dumb or inappropriate joke or something to that affect, it kills me everytime its so funny!)
anyway demeter is NOT not be confused with gaia (my girl knows how to have fun lol). but much like the rest of us shes got issues to work with and experiences to heal and grow from *finger guns*. 10/10 i think u did her justice. so much so i drew this for u hehe
Tumblr media
under no cicumstances should she meet micheal scott lmao. humanity will never hear the end of "thats what _ said" jokes. ever.
her hair is lime green btw the light is making her blonde :/
19 notes · View notes
butmakeitgayblog · 11 months ago
Note
Lotd have mer y ADC looks so good with her new selfie. And she’s posting flowers as usual 🥹
Tumblr media
And wearing a white shirt. I'll say this, you can't accuse the girl of not staying consistently on brand 🥴
Tumblr media Tumblr media
I will say also, she's never escaping the Victoria Pedretti doppleganger allegations any time soon (although I guess it'd be the other way around since she's older. Whatever) Anyway they neeeeeeed to play sisters at some point cuz what the actual fuck are we doing here like what is the point of all this if that never happens
#anon#I'm sorry in advance but that last one gives me overwhelming AWTR vibes#Lexa's not much of a selfie taker by nature. she just doesn't see the point. “I know what I look like already Clarke-#i don't need to thousand pictures to remind myself. i bet I could even pick myself out of a lineup. no help needed“#cuz she's also a little smartass ya see#but this feels like such a AWTR Lexa thing to do#to have this little disposable camera that she takes with her on their trips - their honeymoon. their rides along the coast. apple picking.#and she just... takes pictures. of anything she feels like. moments that obviously meant something to her#or that's what Clarke assumes when she finds the thing tucked away in Lexa's bedside drawer when she finally packs up to move#2 days before she's heading to the other side of the country and she finds herself sitting on the edge of Lexa's bed holding this gd camera#that she's completely forgotten existed#an hour of trying not to throw up just touching it - an hour of driving to the nearest pharmacy that still prints these damn things -#and a day of waiting for the roll to get developed is enough to have Clarke walking around like the equivalent to an exposed nerve ending#the first half of the roll just makes her smile cuz it's exactly what she expected#pictures of leaves. bumper stickers she saw. shots of the ocean at sunset. a weird rock Clarke distinctly remembers Lexa calling ~majestic#too many shots of Clarke doing mundane things that Lexa apparently thought needed capturing#and then like a suckerpunch to the face... there's this#a shot that Clarke knows without knowing that Lexa took to finish out the roll#probably snapped in a moment of Lexa's little way of saying 'hi :)'#but all it feels like in her hands one last goodbye...#wow this got away from me#my bad#AWTR
20 notes · View notes
allbeendonebefore · 2 years ago
Text
you know how when you haven’t Pursued your Craft in several days and you are like. mentally itchy and you can’t scratch it because you don’t know what you are doing and also Stress from Other Things yeah How Turn Off
7 notes · View notes
themyscirah · 1 year ago
Text
This is such a "nobody else has read this comic" moment but like. It kills me every day that we never see Simon's conversation with Amanda Waller in JLA (2013) #5. Like I NEED to know what she said to him in that room. He goes in fully intending to detach himself from all the drama of his origin arc and get the government off his back yet when he leaves he joins Waller's JLA (which is a different, rival entity of the JL at this time). And THEN in JLA comic he's not just on the team, he's one of the more pro-Waller/pro-authority members!!! Which doesn't sound like Simon!!! Like at all! But again this is the Wall we are talking about. And they had a private conversation together! For an unspecified amount of time! That we know nothing about! Like this is Amanda freaking Waller if anyone could say something to make this make sense it would be her. SO I NEED TO KNOW WHAT SHE SAID. but also also also we see ANOTHER change of heart from Simon towards Waller (and the government) in Green Lanterns #1! (I think.) Here he's shown being fed up as the government tries to manipulate him for information and to gain power and such and is like keeping tabs on him and his family etc. So obviously he's become disillusioned with this and is not happy about it, which is the kind of reaction you would expect from him! Like that actually makes sense!!!
So its like logically you figure that his characterization in JLA is bad (it is new 52) and doesn't make sense and stems from an ignorance of his character (who had been in literally 16 comics before this. Including cameos. Like bruh just read them) and that's why this doesn't make sense. BUT THERE'S STILL THAT CONVERSATION WITH WALLER. Like I want this to my sense so bad. And my brain knows what Amanda Waller is like like it KNOWS that something could have plausibly happened in that room to make this line up! Like it's Amanda freaking Waller anything could have happened there. I need to know what happened there. I will NEVER know what happened there.
#like its a new 52 comic it makes sense that it wouldnt make sense!!!!!!! but there is this GAP and it is driving me nuts#because if anyone could have said something to make this make sense it would be waller!!!! NEVER underestimate waller!!!! that is how she#gets you. also shadow government plots shes very good at those at well#especially when they explode in everyone's faces including her own#she still comes out swinging#grrrrrr no but this drives me SO bonkers because like AGGGHHHHH and its some random new 52 comic like no one cares but then#I am all like guys lets talk abt the Simon and Amanda Waller dynamic lets talk abt Simon and Waller like NO ONE KNOWS WHAT I AM TALKING ABT#like they met??????? yeah in a nu52 comic that i read in my quest to read every simon baz appearance#im 9999.999% sure dc has totally forgotten this comic existed. the writer probably has too. the only thing its notable for is causing drama#to lead up to forever evil.#anyways just oh my god. the simon and waller missing conversation is insane to me. what the fuck did they say?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!#maybe i go crazy bc of this bc theyre both in my top 10 on locg. like ive read a bunch of simon but ive also read ostrander + yale suicide#squad. which is the waller holy grail. and so i am vertifiably insane#only way for this to get more swishy self indulgent is to merge GL and SS even more and bring ben into it#i love ben he just dropped out of my top 10 and im devastated. i should read more ben comics. ive read a good chunk already hes not in that#many. also jess should be there. that would be even more self indulgent and make me crazier#suicide squad comic but you just stuff all swishy's faves in a room and expose them to the wall#wait shit this is giving me ideas now i dont have time for this LOG OFF LOG OFF#what was i saying again????? oh.#blah#simon baz#amanda waller
4 notes · View notes
a-simple-spiders-oc-dump · 2 years ago
Text
love procrastinating going to bed and then suddenly thinking about how I need to give at least one of my characters VERY strong opinions on different animal species RIGHT FUCKING NOW
#Local Spider Yells At Clouds#like??? characters having strong opinions about things that mean jack shit is just really fun to me#I'm gonna try to think of some animals each character would like and dislike real quick off the top of my head#first thought: Gamma is probably both fascinated and deeply terrified by deep sea fish#like!! he thinks the fish themselves are pretty neat!! (it helps that Alice makes freakier looking things on a regular basis)#but everything about WHERE THEY LIVE freaks him the fuck out#man is hydrophobic already!! learning about water pressure and what it could do to a person might make him pass out#very next thought: Lydia probably likes frogs. I feel like they're not her FAVOURITE animal tho. top 5 definitely#very strange that I'm saying that while also having no idea what her ACTUAL favourite animal would be but eh. that's how it goes sometimes.#she probably likes tree frogs the best because those are peak Silly Little Guys#none of these are STRONG opinions tho!!!! I want a character who's either ride or die for a very specific animal#or a character who looks at this particular animal and goes ''I want this bitch GONE FROM EARTH''#...actually I just realized. I gave NONE of the Realm kiddos animal-loving as a core trait#HOW did I do that???? I MADE THESE FUCKERS WHEN I WAS STILL A KID AND WAS WAITING TO BE ABLE TO VOLUNTEER AT THE LOCAL ANIMAL SHELTER!!#TWO OF THESE BITCHES STARTED AS STRAIGHT-UP SELF INSERTS AND NONE OF THEM HAVE ''LIKES CREATURES'' AS A MAIN CHARACTER TRAIT?????#the easy answer would be to say Lydia or Dylan but. that's the easy answer.#oh yeah make the super-friendly character care about animals a lot. real original there me#...aw it'd be sad if it was Cynthia#because. no memories. any pets she had back on Earth are long forgotten by now.#and because of her role in the camp she'd probably never let herself get a pet either... never rediscovering her love for animals at all#this started with a dumb one-off thought about how I need to give my characters more stupid hills to die on#and ended with me remembering just how damn depressing Cynthia's memory wipe really is as a plot point lmao#it's just like. remembering that she used to have a LIFE before all of this!!#she had passions and joys and all of it got THROWN IN THE TOILET due to circumstances beyond her control!!!#and because of a choice she made herself she has no idea there was ever something else her life could have been!!!#...then again. maybe that was the point.#anyways!!!!!!!! sorry for the blog being dead for a bit lol#getting back into writing now so I'll probably get the queue running again shortly!!
3 notes · View notes
opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years ago
Text
...
#last night i dreamed that i was trapped in my same patterns as i am while awake but the building i work in was bigger#and i was so dizzy and disoriented that i kept stumbling from room to room. up and down stairs. running into people who would stare at me#in confusion until one grabbed me in the way u do when someone is being concerning and incoherent and he made me sit in an auditorium#with a doctor who already knew my name. but then i was back in my messy apartment staring down at a lizard id let die because id forgotten#to feed it. part of my brain was in contact with my mum and she said i should come home so i did. i appeared there but i seemed somewhat#transparent. liked id been there a long time so no one noticed my being there was out of place. they were there but doing other things#i wandered into a room where some ppl i knew from hs were performing surgery. i went to wash my hands and the soap came out as blood#my sister tolerated my presence. which is out of character. she seemed to sense something was wrong. then i walked back into my current#apartment halfway across the country. caught a glimpse of myself in the bathroom mirror and became transcendently angry#uneasy dreams. but at least i didnt have to get up at 6. i mean i still only got like 7hrs sleep at most but better than 6 i guess#its probably bc i spent so much time hysterically crying and staring off into space yesterday. by the end of the day i felt so awful i#wondered if i might b getting sick. dizzy in that way thats not quite dizzy#but today should b pretty laid back. still doing things but probably ill hace time to get some non work bullshit#done. hopefully. then its back to 11hr days until Monday#then the experiment is over and i havr to deal with the consequences. and finish my other destructive project#which has at least 11 days left#well see what happens 🫠#unrelated
5 notes · View notes
specialshinytrinkets · 7 months ago
Text
[ID:
You do [caps] not [end caps] need to kill off a character for 'emotional impact', or 'realism'. Especially if you've given readers / watchers time to bond with said character. Come on.
/endID]
Tumblr media
im starting to think you guys dont like it when stories make you feel things
#thinking about what example to use for this. stance i remembered the duel by alexander kuprin#to be short it is about a young officer romashov trying to get through the army while managing his personal life#like semi-romancing with a wife of another guy or breaking up a fight caused by another officer drinking#and swinging his sword around to the point it could harm women inside#either way. the husband of the woman romashov was romancing with ends up calling him to a duel#he wants to back out from it and is even adviced by probably the most wise/sane/philosophical character in the novel#but shurochka (the wife) takes the upper hand and convinces romashov to go to the duel because if he doesn't#then her husband - nikolaev - won't move up the ranks#as you can guess romashov goes to the duel and dies#the whole point of the novel is to showcase the effect russian army had on those in it. how it rotted them inside out#it is very important to note that the characters who are the most nice (besides the commander of 15th division I REMBER)#are those who are removed from serving most of their time. and the guy who tries to talk romashov out of duelling is an#alcoholic so. that already says a lot. they have been broken before is what i'm trying to say#and that influence is seen in romashov too. kuprin writes that he has books in dust that he meant to get to but in the end#it just never happens#the conflict is in romashov trying to keep his humanity and intelligence AND stay up in the army to impress shurochka#who is very manipulative because her life depends on her husband being in high ranks. she values army more than romashov tbh#it is also very important to note that you can see the destructive effect of the army on people in the soldiers too#one of them - khlebnikov iirc - literally tries to kill himself but gets talked oit of it by romashov#the point of romashov dying is to point just how far shurochka - and the army life - have gotten into him#they literally ended his life. he knew the duel would be dangerous but because of love for shurochka#and because of shurochka's love for keeping a high status he still went there; shot in the air and then took the bullet#if he didn't die it would not hit as hard. it would make the story a lot less impactful because we SAW how shurochka#manipulates romashov. how she keeps him around her finger. he was too deep to get out by this point#his death was necessary. he died from the old time's unspoken law#anyways if you want to i recommend reading the duel. and the garnet bracelet. WITH music that shit made me cry rivers#alexander kuprin#mention of death#sui mention#forgotten videotapes_uwu
29K notes · View notes
diah-the-demon · 5 months ago
Text
yk its really hard to not feel like im just an afterthought to my mother
1 note · View note
that-jack-kline-bestie · 7 months ago
Text
I need help
1 note · View note
seumyo · 4 months ago
Text
BAKUGOU KATSUKI ✰ 5:48
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Bakugou’s in his third year of high school when he finally invites you over to his house. The reason? To finish a calculus project.
You’d think that after surviving through the hardships of being a hero-in-training together for three years, saving each other’s lives (more often you were the one being saved than doing the saving, really), and whatnot, he would’ve invited you sooner to his home (one could dream).
But this was Bakugou, after all.
And he knew that something was off the moment he left you to share a conversation with his mom while he went to get his books from his room—the greatest mistake he could have ever done because by the time he’s making his way back, Bakugou could hear you snickering to yourself.
Not a good sign.
“I’m not going to lie; you looked hideous when you were a baby,” you say, reading through Bakugou’s baby album.
Bakugou froze. He had absolutely no idea why his mother would cave in and give you the godforsaken album from when he was young, but of course she would’ve agreed with your request to see it if you did so much as mention it.
He dropped the books he’d grabbed from on top of his desk on top of the living room table before whipping his attention towards you, an indignant scoff escaping through his nose before he took a few slow, but heavy stomps over to you—practically snatching the album from your grasp when he’s within reach.
“Stop looking through those stupid pictures.”
“Hey! I wasn’t finished,” you reply with a frown. “You’re lucky my phone’s battery just died, or else I would’ve taken a billion photos.”
Bakugou’s jaw clenched slightly as he grumbled curses under his breath, trying to flip through the album in his hands to make sure you hadn’t managed to sneak a photo out—a small sigh of relief rolling off of his tongue to find that, luckily, it was still how his parents had done it.
He shot a glare over towards you, stuffing the album back into its original spot on one of the bookshelves, his nose crinkling as he shoved his hands into his pockets.
“Don’t care; tell anyone what you saw, and you’ll drop dead,” he tells you.
“Oh, but how could I not? That photo album’s like hitting the jackpot—so many super ultra rare photocards of you,” you gushed, blatantly disregarding his usual threat. “Come on, I wanna see the rest!”
“Absolutely not.” 
Bakugou knew the damn photos were in the back of the album. There were probably a handful of the ones where he was in the bathtub, butt-naked—a common photo in most photo albums he’s seen, at least. Other photos include when he was three years old and wore an All Might onesie for his birthday, pictures of him during his school recital where he was the prince, him with a bald haircut, and so much more blackmail material. 
It was humiliating, for goodness sake! And he knew you’d just tease him mercilessly if you saw it.
You’ll never let him live it down, so it’s best to deprive you of it.
“Don’t come at me for saying this, but I was the cutest baby in our village back then,” you told him proudly. “Had the roundest cheeks and brightest smile, trust.”
Bakugou rolled his eyes, a huff of air forcing itself past his lips. That was one thing about you that he couldn’t stand; you were so full of yourself most of the time—you’d always been like that, and he absolutely loathed it. It could be that it reminds him of himself, so the competitive meter on his head just flares whenever he’s around you.
“I doubt you were even 1% of how adorable I was as a baby.”
“Have you seen me?” you gestured to your face with your hands to emphasize your facial features. 
“I’m still as cute even now. And no offense, Bakugou,” you giggled, “you looked like a wrinkly raisin on your first few days on this Earth.”
Bakugou’s smirk dropped. He’d almost forgotten that you had seen the stupid pictures already.
“Shut the hell up. It wasn’t that bad.” He muttered quietly, his hands balling into frustrated fists. His parents always assured him that he was a cute kid when he was small—but to hear that YOU of all people, are in disagreement with that is just aggravating.
“Fine, fine. Quits it is,” you hum. “Let’s do that calculus project so I can get home before sunset.”
Bakugou grumbled something inaudible under his breath, reluctantly nodding his head in agreement. There was no point in arguing about something so idiotic—after all, both of you were there to get a project done, not to sit around and bicker about his past.
He took a few steps over to the living room table before plopping down on the polished floor ungracefully, yanking out his notes before he gestured his hand over towards the free space next to him.
“Sit down. Let’s just get this thing done and over with already.”
Bakugou had already started working silently by the time you sat down; his hand was writing almost furiously as he copied equations onto his paper. He kept his attention focused on his notes, trying to stay quiet as he focused completely on completing the project.
He eventually stopped writing for a moment, turning his gaze over to glance at what you were doing before clicking his tongue at the sight. Bakugou could already see a few mistakes you’d made with your work.
“You’re doing it wrong,” he says.
“Wait, I’ve barely turned on the calculator, jeez.” You shook your head, solving the equation through your calculator.
“And that’s how I know you’re doing it wrong.” Bakugou huffed, shaking his own head in disappointment. 
“Formula first before adding 1.3.”
He pulled out a pen and began scribbling down on his own paper, glancing at yours every once in a while to compare the work. He knew from his experience that you were decent at math (he’d rather die than tell you that), but this was just pitiful even by your standards.
“Have you been dozing off during Ectoplasm’s class?”
“Ouch. Do you have a personal grudge against keeping the not-so-nice stuff from leaving your mouth?” you sigh. “You’re hurting my feelings— I’m devastated.”
He had a feeling you’d say something like that, and he was prepared to ignore your attempts at gaining sympathy from him.
“Unfortunately, you’ll fucking live,” Bakugou says, scribbling down the last of his work before turning it towards you. “And learn how to solve equations too, while you’re at it.”
“I know how to do it; calm down.” You huff, rewriting your solutions.
Bakugou raised a skeptical eyebrow, his head tilting with a hint of disbelief. Even if he knew you were capable of doing math, you had a bad habit of missing even the smallest details, like the operation to be used in your work, leading to the wrong answers.
His eyes scanned over the work you’d written on your paper before letting out a small huff. “Looks right. Are you done with your half?”
“Yep, yep. Are you going to write it down on our answer sheet, or should I do it?” you offered.
Bakugou glanced down at the answer sheet set to the side before picking it up and nodding. He was already holding a pen while you were still using a pencil, so it would make more sense for him to be the one to write it all down.
He began copying down the answers slowly and carefully, each number being written out with ease as his eyes flicked back and forth from the worksheet to the sheet of answers.
With him busy jotting down the answers, you occupied yourself with taking in the interior of his living room. It was beautiful, neat, and just screamed rich—not really what you expected (you really didn’t know what to expect, honestly). “Y’know,” you mention, glancing around. “You have a nice house.”
Bakugou hummed in acknowledgment, his eyes remaining focused on his task. It kind of took him by surprise to hear you say something out of the blue—about his house, no less. He’d fully expected you to talk about something else, like school or that new show you’ve been begging him to watch.
It went against what Bakugou had originally thought, which led him to look over at you from the corner of his eye, silently raising an eyebrow in a silent question.
“Yeah, I guess it’s a nice house,” he said casually, his pen continuing to move over the paper. His penmanship was neat, and Bakugou hears you in awe. 
Bakugou continued to finish writing down the last of the answers, his eyes narrowing slightly as he noticed you looking around his house. It was obvious what was happening, but he decided to ignore it in favor of just getting the godforsaken project done.
He finished soon enough, his pen rolling back with a click before he leaned back a little and let out a small huff. “We’re done. Finally.”
“Nice, nice.” Glancing at your watch, you concluded, “I should get home.”
Bakugou was silent, rolling his shoulders and neck before glancing out of the nearby window. The sun had already begun to set over the sky, the day quickly slipping away into the night.
“Yeah, whatever. You need me to walk you home or something?” He asks gruffly.
“Nah, I’m good. I need to say goodbye to your parents, too.”
Bakugou watched as you packed up all of your belongings, a scoff rolling off of his tongue. It felt almost weird to be civil with each other, neither of you having taken jabs or making snarky remarks to taunt one another. 
“Alright, fine,” he finally said, standing up from his seat and stuffing his hands into his pockets. “Let’s go find my parents then.”
He led you down the hall and into the kitchen area, his ears vaguely picking up the sounds of his mother and father talking amongst themselves about… something. He couldn’t tell what exactly, and frankly, he barely even cared.
“Mom, Dad.” He spoke up, capturing the attention of his parents. 
Mitsuki looked over at him, a smile spreading across her face. Masaru looked in the same direction, a warm smile forming on his face as well.
“Thank you for having me, Mr. and Mrs. Bakugou,” you said in gratitude. “I’ll be going home now before it gets too late.”
His parents shared a hum in acknowledgment, with his mother being the one to speak up first. She had a knowing grin on her face as she clasped her hands together, her eyes flickering over to her son.
“You’re welcome. You should come over more often,” Mitsuki said enthusiastically, her voice taking on a slightly smug tone.
Masaru laughed as he nodded in agreement. He gave a knowing look to his wife before he looked back over at you. “You should join us for dinner; we already made enough for you to join us.”
“I’d love to, sir, but my folks are waiting for me at home,” you answered sheepishly.
Bakugou noticed the glance his parents exchanged and immediately knew what they were thinking. He almost grumbled in frustration, already knowing that they’d ask him about you later after you left.
His mother spoke up once again, her smug grin growing wider. “You’re always welcome here,” she repeated, her eyes flickering over to her son as her voice came out teasing. “After all, Katsuki’s always in a ‘better’ mood when you’re around.”
“I wouldn’t doubt it, ma'am. I’m a joy to be around, after all,” you lightly joked, though you still maintained a respectful tone.
His parents were easier to get along with than you thought.
Bakugou’s eye twitched in annoyance at your words, almost making him want to quip back at your cocky behavior. However, it was the sound of his mother’s sudden laughter that stopped him from doing so.
Mitsuki mother put her hand up to her mouth briefly, her eyes crinkling at the corners as she continued to chuckle. The expression on her face was elated, and it was pissing him off even more, knowing what’s to come. 
“I like this one,” she said, grinning from ear to ear.
Masaru added, “And clearly, so does Ka—“
“All right! They need to get going to catch the shitty train.”
By the time Bakugou accompanied you to the door, he had this obvious scowl on his face. “You’re never comin’ back here again, dipshit.”
“Wha— no fair! Why am I getting banned from the Bakugou residence when this is my first time here?” you replied.
“Shut up,” he grunts. “I could do whatever the hell I want because it’s my house, too.”
“Too bad I have your Mom’s number—“
“Delete that.”
“Hey— wai— no way!”
It was not the last time you were ever invited to the Bakugou residence.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
SEUMYO © 2024, PLEASE DO NOT REPOST, PLAGIARIZE, MODIFY OR TRANSLATE.
4K notes · View notes
fingertipsmp3 · 1 year ago
Text
I’m not even gonna lie, my grief over Mabel is making me insane
#every time i remember she’s not here i hear this roaring in my ears and i just break down and cry#i keep trying to pretend she’s just asleep in the other room but it’s not working#looking at pictures of her just makes me cry. the people who will be cremating her are going to take a clipping of fur and a pawprint from#her for me but i don’t know what i’m going to do with those things. like where i’ll put them#i know once i’m a bit more emotionally stable i’ll regret not having them. i wish i had some of kim’s fur. i forgot the feel of his fur so#quickly and i always struggled with that. but i also know that having pieces of mabel won’t comfort me in the slightest right now because i#just want her back and i feel so so so guilty even though i know it was her time#she’d gone so senile that she had a panic attack every time she went on a walk. it could last up to an hour. she was restless; refusing to#nap & barely able to sleep. she was riddled with arthritis to the point you could only touch her head; paws & maybe her chest#she bit if you tried to clean her or have her wear anything or sometimes if you put her lead on her. she never used to do that. that was a#new development that started in about june-july after she had two strokes. her little heart was racing and she was panting all the time f#she also had this growth in her mouth that may or may not have been infected or cancerous and she wasn’t letting us examine it. we wouldn’t#have been able to adminster treatment either because she’d bite and thrash if we tried to look in her mouth#but she was still eating and drinking okay… drinking too much if anything. and she was more or less continent. and she would have some lucid#moments where she was wagging her tail at us and requesting pets. she could get in and out of the house no problem#it was just quality of life because i knew she was in pain & her brain and heart were both shutting down and she wasn’t able to enjoy stuff#like walks that she used to love. and i knew she wouldn’t survive this winter because she haaaated the cold#but i still feel guilty because i know she could probably have lived another month. but it’s also like. how much would that month of life#have stressed her out? she’d already forgotten lots of people like my stepdad; my grandparents; my best friend and her kid. if she’d have#forgotten me and/or the house she would’ve been scared all the time and i never wanted that for her. i wanted her to have a good last couple#of days. and i think she did but there’s part of me that still feels so guilty and wishes she was still here#even if she was just eating and drinking and sleeping. even if she stopped letting me pet her. but then i know i’d have been keeping her#around for me. i feel like i ended her suffering but i also potentially robbed her of some happy moments#i just can’t get over the guilt of leaving her on that floor by herself. i sat there for ages waiting for someone to carry her out but then#i realised they were waiting for me to leave so i just walked out and it felt so wrong. she would have hated that she went to sleep on a#cold hard floor. she didn’t even lie on the floor voluntarily. she slept on the dining room couch or in her bed#i can’t stop crying whenever i think of it. i feel like shit and i don’t know how to move on#i put all her things in the garage to be sorted out when i’m less upset. apart from her collar and her blankets#i put her collar around one of the stair bannisters and i gave her blankets to my friend for her dog#i don’t know what i’ll do when she comes back to me in an urn. scream and cry and throw up probably
0 notes
phantomrose96 · 5 months ago
Text
So my mom's birthday was this week and I flew down with Patches to visit her for a few days. Patches, while a verified hater of the airport, really loves my mom's place because there are so many more closets to explore and birds to watch and cobwebs to dust with her stupid little face.
My mom also goes to bed earlier than anyone I know, so for the evenings it was on me to monitor Patches' activity. And she's very good. She's 99% good. She's 1% "could use improvement" good and the 1%, which I'd forgotten about, is tomatoes.
Patches will leave most things alone. (And by "alone" I mean she'll absolutely bitch slap them onto the floor, but they will leave the ordeal with just as many or few surface punctures as they had before the encounter started.) Not tomatoes. Patches has it the fuck out for tomatoes.
So when I noticed her batting something around on the ground I realized that my mom had left a sole, roma tomato in the fruit basket on the counter and it was now experiencing the life cycle of a pingpong ball between Patches' paws.
I take it away from her, like a fucking evil woman, and now I'm like "okay actually, where do I hide this." See at home I have an anti-Patches cabinet, which is for things that have no business living in a cabinet but which WILL have business dying at Patches' hands if left accessible. And this is WEIRD to have such a cabinet but it's my own home.
I'm scanning my mother's cabinets going "is this weird here? can the tomato go in my mother's dish cabinet?" And I briefly consider sticking it in the fridge, as a normal location, but the audacity of altering this tomato's ripening process is an audacity I do not possess. So I go with cabinet. I go with the first eye-level cabinet, which is the coffee mug cabinet, which is perfect because the tomato will not be lost to cabinet purgatory there, since my mom opens it every morning for her coffee. I will simply tell her in the morning that the tomato is there.
Next morning. Seeing as my mother goes to bed at the butt-crack of dusk she ALSO gets up at the ass-crack of dawn. This means I trail down like 2 hours after her with my work laptop and Patches. This is also now her birthday. I'm sharing the sofa with her for a good 15 minutes when I think to myself I'd like some coffee, and I remember I put a tomato in the cabinet. I tell my mom as much. I put the tomato in her coffee mug cabinet.
And the look I get is one I can't really figure out on spot. But she says "Chrissy this is the best birthday present you could have given me" which is a very weird response to the already weird statement "Oh you probably saw, but I hid the tomato in the coffee mug cabinet because Patches has it out for tomatoes."
So I do not at all know how this makes for a good birthday gift. My mom tells me how a week or two ago, she came home unloading groceries. At the end of putting everything away she could not for the life of her find her phone. Absolutely nowhere. She pinged it from her iPad and it started singing. From the fridge. She opened her fridge. Her phone was in the fridge.
A couple days later she lost Ash's collar. Spent three days looking for it. Couldn't remember where she'd taken it off or what she did with it. Showed up in the grass when she remembered she took it off to let him play fetch in the lake.
And then this morning, her birthday morning, she came into the kitchen, made her pot of coffee, opened the cabinet to fetch her coffee mug, and found... tomato. Singular. Tomato in the cabinet. Tomato she had no memory of placing in a cabinet. Tomato she could not possibly fathom having a reason for being in the cabinet.
She was like Chrissy I cried. She was like this is it, time to send her to pasture. She's a harebrained old lady now and there is no coming back from this. She's the lady who accidentally puts tomatoes in the cabinet. Awake before God, standing in the kitchen, signing her life away over this tiny roma tomato. (Roma tomato with little cat vampire teeth marks in it).
I was like oh. No. I put it there. Because Patches was going to commit war crimes against it. I put it there because I did not stop to consider "Will finding a single tomato in the coffee mug cabinet somehow be the very specific thing that undoes my mother this morning?" I put it there out of careful consideration for the life of this tomato, and with no consideration for the extremely esoteric way that a tomato in the cabinet could be received like a horse head in the bed, Godfather style.
We made a salad with the tomato. Happy birthday Mom.
4K notes · View notes
gibbearish · 1 year ago
Text
theres a kickstarter i backed back in march 2021 thats been going through issue after issue during the production process but has been keeping backers updated the whole time and a couple months ago they announced they were finally able to start shipping orders im excited
#had it been a scam it wouldve been fine bc as soon as i give money to things like that i just consider it gone forever so i take the#possibility of that happening into account when deciding whether or not to buy something and when i backed it $115 was Not Hard At All#that was like. two days' worth of tips at most? three if you picked really slow days?#so as far as im concerned i dont have $115 worth of money up in the air right now waiting for repayment#i simply donated $115 to a cool project almost three years ago and now will get a time capsule of a present in the mail at some point#BUT all that being said i dont think its a scam shes been very transparent and accommodating the whole time#like i couldve gotten most of my order by now if i wanted‚ there were wallets that came with the bag and they were the main problem point#bc the manufacturer she used first was Garbage but she wasnt able to get a refund from them#so she offered to ship out everything except the wallets to anyone who wanted it they just had to cover the shipping#n i was like. i dont /need/ any of this it was 100% a fun little treat for me so it being late isnt like. a problem#so might as well save like $20 its win win#and a bunch of people did take her up on it and have been posting abt the quality and they all seem legit#its very funny that ive had to update my address with her twice though KSBDKSBDKDN#and the extra benefit is it really will be a little time capsule present because its been so long ive forgotten most of what i ordered#like i know theres a bag and a wallet and some pins and i think one other thing?#but i dont remember the details of what they look like really or esp the pins i dont remember anything except they were there#maybe the other thing was a popsocket? that sounds probable#anyways. soon it will be bag time>:3c#oh and ofc ppl who didnt order the wallets have already gotten their orders shes not making them wait for us kwbdkshf#so theyve been posting reviews too#im pretty sure 'just refund me for the wallet and give me the rest' was an option#i don't remember for sure and don't want to dig through all FORTY TWO EMAILS to check but id definitely be way more salty abt#the whole situation if they hadnt because thatd be shitty#im bad at remembering things but good at holding deserved grudges so the fact i dont have one tells me she didnt#love having to fuckin. sherlock holmes my own past lmao#but yeah as is im just like. i cannot imagine how much it must suck majorly to be in her shoes so she can take as long as she needs#like a while back i had someone order a thing off etsy ans it didnt notify me at all so they emailed me like a month later like#'hey any updates on my order?' and i was like. FUCK#and i felt terrible for like a month afterwards and gave them a bunch of free stickers to make up for it#and that was yknow. one person who ordered $6 worth of stickers
1 note · View note
olives-ails · 1 year ago
Text
I gave her those. Those things she gives out. I got those for me. But I’ve been unable to eat. So I gave them to her.
She was laughing. Chewing on them. I couldn’t look at her but I knew she was. I could hear every joke. Trying not to laugh along from across the room.
And then I went over. Didn’t say a word or ask for anything. Even as my stomach clawed desperately for the treats right in front of me. I just smiled. And she put her head down. Told me to go away. She didn’t feel well.
Didn’t she feel well just a moment ago, laughing so loudly? Didn’t she enjoy the things I gave her?
I turned away and looked at the wet paint. Waiting for that damned bell to ring. Wishing something would kill me right there. The hunger to final snap my body in half, my aching calf to collapse, my brain to shut off. It rang so loudly. And I booked it out. Fast as I could out the doors and to the bus. Hands clenching and teeth tightened.
Her face. Her tone. Her words. They yell louder than any roaring ringing bell.
I don’t know what to do. Part of me wants to pull back in, be kind but hide. Another part wants to carve more of myself away for her. Make me the vessel she can like. Instead of a cardboard cutout to chuck away.
She said she loved me. I said she didn’t. So why does it hurt knowing I was right?
0 notes