#she's not good at cooking particularly but she's not Bad and i think would have fun learning

[sweetlikelace]

BENEATH THE SURFACE

wandanat x reader

with natasha away for work, you finally have a chance to bond with her wife. wanda thinks you’re a stubborn brat but you’re a softie at heart

pairing(s): wanda maximoff x reader, wanda maximoff x natasha romanoff, natasha romanoff x reader

content warning: fluff?

A/N: this is my first writing piece so i apologize if it sucks :// also this was inspired by a character.ai bot lmfao

wanda was focused on the vegetables she was chopping, her movements efficient and precise. the sound of the knife against the cutting board filled the room, a steady rhythm that echoed the tension between the two of you. she glanced up at you, her eyes flickering over your form perched on the countertop. a smirk tugged at the corners of her lips, but she didn’t say anything, continuing to chop the vegetables.

you sat on the table, dangling your feet and trying to peek over the redhead’s shoulder.

“what are you making?”

wanda looked up from the chopping board, her gaze flickering over you. “a stir-fry.” she replied, her voice cool and aloof. she resumed her chopping, the knife making quick, precise cuts.

the silence lingered between you, a mix of awkwardness and tension. wanda didn't seem eager to engage in conversation, but there was a hint of curiosity in her eyes; she was studying you, taking in your every movement.

you scrunch your nose in disgust. it wasn’t that wanda’s food was particularly bad, it was actually some of the best meals you’ve ever had, even so, you were a picky eater. wanda’s gaze flicked up at your reaction, a flicker of surprise crossing her face. she was used to your picky eating habits and the little disgusted expressions you made every time she offered you something new to try. she paused her chopping, her gaze sharpening as she looked back at you. a smirk curled her lips. “don't give me that look. It's healthy, you know.”

“I like mac and cheese. natasha usually makes kraft dinner for me”

“i’m going to pretend that you didn’t just say you prefer boxed, neon-orange noodles over my homemade cooking.”

a small smile falls from my lips and i shrug. “what? it’s good.” wanda rolled her eyes again, her patience thinning. she placed the knife down on the cutting board. “it’s processed, artificial crap. it’s not food.”

i huff, dangling my legs some more. i tap my nails against the table, growing more jaded by the minute. “when did you say natasha would be back?” wanda paused her cooking, her hands stilling on the cutting board. she let out a sigh, resigning herself to your persistent question.

“i said she'd be back in a few hours. in the meantime, you’re stuck with me, whether you like it or not.” wanda’s eyes flickered over your form on the table, her gaze studying you for a moment.

“alright, first things first. we’re making a stir-fry, but since you're veggie-only, it'll be loaded with veggies instead of meat.”

a part of you shuddered with admiration at the thought of her modifying her recipe to fit your eating habits. it was the little gestures like this that made you think maybe wanda didn’t dislike you as much as you had initially thought. you scrunch your nose again. “i have to eat it?”

“if you plan on staying at my house tonight, then yes, you have to eat it.”

wanda handed you a knife and showed you how to chop up the bits of pepper. after everything was finished, she tidied up the kitchen while you tried to convince yourself to take a bite of the unfamiliar food. like usual, her cooking was sensational, but you couldn’t let her know you liked it that much. wanda made her way to the living room, throwing on a random movie and sitting on the sofa. she pulled out a book of sudoku, one you had seen her with many times before. you follow her and stood in front of the older woman, staring down at her. wanda keeps her eyes glued on her book. “you can sit down you know.” you hesitantly sit down on the opposite side of the couch, a cushion between the two of you. you felt a little embarrassed following wanda around like a puppy, but you didn’t know what else to do while you waited for natasha.

wanda picked up on the underlying meaning behind your silence. she could see the discomfort on your face, the restlessness in your movements. it was clear that you were struggling without natasha around to give you orders and structure your actions.

wanda looked up from her book and gave her head a tilt before sighing. “come here.” she pays the spot beside her and you smile before obeying. you look over at her book, silently trying to figure out the numbers before she had. but of course she was much quicker and more advanced at the puzzle than you were.

hours later natasha had finally returned home. the taller woman sighed, taking off her jacket and hanging it up in the closet. lately, her days just seemed to be dragging out.

“look who’s finally back.” wanda chimes in from the living room as she heres the woman enter. natasha smiles in relief and walked over to the two of you, gently kissing her wife. “mmm missed you.” wanda spoke in a whisper. “how was work?”

natasha ran a hand through her hair, “i’m just happy to be home.” her eyes snap to your sleeping form on wanda’s lap, she was quite surprised to see the two of her girls like this. “how was she?” natasha asked hesitantly, knowing how much of a brat you could be at times. “she missed you.” wanda whispered, running a hand through your hair.

the older woman crouches down to eye level as she gently moves a few strands of hair out of your face. “hey malyshka..” she gently rouses you from your sleeping form. natasha’s touch seemed to have a soothing effect on you. you stirred slightly in wanda’s lap, mumbling something incoherent as natasha gently carded her fingers through your hair. you forehead wrinkled for a moment, as if you were fighting against waking up. wanda couldnt help but chuckle at the sight of your sleepy struggle. she patted your head tenderly, her voice soft and gentle. “come, sweetheart, open those eyes.”

you squirm slightly in wanda’s lap, blinking sleepily as you slowly come out of your slumber. you smile when you recognize those big green eyes.

“you’re home..” you stretch, causing natasha to chuckle softly. she takes your hand in hers. “come, detka, let’s go to bed.”

[shanesevikasfuckdoll]

Sevika Headcanons 🦾

🚫Men and Minors DNI🚫

What I think Sevika would be like generally. a little bit of switch Sevika. 🦾

SFW:

She can cook well. She just doesn't cook OFTEN. I think that's something people don't get, but I think she's a good cook.

If you can't cook, she'll happily cook for the both of you.

If you can't, she'll probably most definitely make fun of you for not knowing how to use a knife, but she'll be happy to cook for you.

As long as you wash the dishes.

She does not have a type at all. Physical appearance? None. All she wants is someone competent, and someone that is okay with her not being home as much. But she does make it up to you.

If you have long hair, she'll braid it, and even help you oil your scalp once in awhile, like her mother taught her to.

If you have short and buzzed hair, she likes to run her hand through the freshly buzzed hair, and also like to help you oil your scalp.

Amazing with henna. You once bought her some henna, and she teared up a little bit, since it's been a long time since she's ever done henna on herself, ever since her mom died.

She decorates you with henna once in awhile, during her free time, and she likes to teach you about her culture that her mom has passed down onto her, and you help her heal her inner child by doing that.

You like to get her in touch of her culture, and she likes you even more because of that. In Zaun, there's not much of a place for sentimentality, but this, her culture, her mother is a part of her, and you like to remind her that with what happens everyday, she's still herself. That she's not just a woman fighting for the freedom of Zaun, that she's also herself.

She tends to forget that, after all.

TOUCH STARVED AS HELL.

Won't let just anyone touch her, only you, though.

She's actually really clingy. I mean, REALLY clingy. You'd be surprised. Of course, she still has a reputation to maintain, but even so, she doesn't shy away from showing you love outside the comfort of your own home.

Her love languages are definitely Acts of Service, Physical Touch, and Gift Giving.

She likes to do small things for you, like make you a cup of coffee in the morning. Charge your phone, when you're asleep. Give you a massage when you had a particularly bad day.

I lied. It's not small things, she does EVERYTHING for you. Opening doors wherever you go. Helping you change out of your clothes when you're drunk. Carrying you wherever, when your feet feel tired. Anything, you name it.

For gift giving, she likes getting you stuff that remind her of you. Like, a particular flower, or trinket, that she thinks you'll love, she'll find a way to get it. If she can't however, she'll just tell you about it. "I saw a butterfly. Reminded me of you" Anything.

Sometimes, when she goes away for long periods of time, you better expect 2 things. 1. she'll come home with alot of bruises and cuts. 2. She brought food, or a little trinket.

When Sevika is out for a work trip, she'll call you the whole way there, until she has to get off the trainz and actually do business.

Hates, hates, hates when you're the one going out, and it's her rest day. She's not stopping you from having your own life, she's just a baby that wants your undivided love and attention. And who are you to deny her of such?

Not often jealous, but extremely possessive.

I lied, she is a bit jealous, but not because she doesn't trust you. She doesn't trust other people.

One time you were out at night and a guy catcalled you. Ooh, boy, let's just say he was beyond saving at that point.

She's EXTREMELY loyal. That actually goes without saying, but just wanted to put that out there.

And you're as loyal to her as she is to you. That's what she admires so much about you, not just the love, but the loyalty, and how she knows that you're always on her side, and you'll choose her no matter what.

She loves, loves, loves it when you cut her hair. You're the only person besides a barber that can touch her hair.

She's really careful of not hitting, or crushing you with her robotic hand, and at first, she doesn't even touch you with it. But when you show her it's okay, and you're not scared of her, she loosens up a bit, and lets you hold it. With caution.

She likes it when you caress her face, and absolutely loves it when you kiss her knuckles. Even on her robotic hand.

She giggles like a little girl, when you two are alone. It's kind of cute to see her that way. That's her way of showing her vulnerability.

She loves drama. There's alot of perks of being the right hand woman. She gets to hear everything going on in Zaun. Although she is a quiet woman, she'll tell you everything that happened throughout the day, any drama that she comes across, and you guys laugh together about it. "Did you know (name) and (name) just got divorced?! Turns out (name) was a cheating prick!" She gossips to you. you of course match her energy, and be as shocked as her, "I fucking knew it!"

That was your bonding time with her. Yup, gossiping.

She sleeps with her on your chest, and you cuddle her head, and wrap your legs around her.

Her idea of a date is having you on top of her on the couch, as you both binge eat, and watch some horror together.

She is a bit of a scardey cat, when it comes to horror, so often times, her grip tightens on you, and she'll hide her face in your chest. You pause the movie, and comfort her, and change it to comedy, or something.

NSFW:

She's a bit of a switch.

She gets really turned on, when you comfort her in your chest though. Sometimes you think she just does it for the attention, but you don't seem to mind.

"You want me to change it, baby? Yeah?" You say, as you run your fingers through her hair. She nods. "mhm"

she says, and you change the channel immedietly. She flips the two of you, and now she's on top of you. You're now watching a dumb sitcom, and she's peppering your face with kisses.

You giggle at her antics, but don't try to stop her. "Oh, my baby, were you scared?" you coo at her, your legs high above the air, and you caress her face.

"Mhm, so scared." She says to you. She takes your sweater off, admiring the view. She's careful not to crush you with her bionic arm, as she goes down, and licks you nipples, and sucks them, and plays with the other tit with her other hand.

She likes making you moan, the louder the better. When you try to put a pillow over your head, or you try to use your hand to cover your mouth, she's grabbing it away from your mouth, to let you moan freely, and loudly.

"mhm, s-sev! More!" She likes it when you're needy, fucking loves it when you beg. "S-sevi, please!"

She can't say no to you that long, so she gives in almost immedietly, right after she teases the fuck out of you.

She takes your pants off, and sniffs your panties. (Yes, we got ourselves a panty sniffer, but it's okay, it's her, and we love her.)

"Y-you're such a perv!" and with that, she throws your panties somewhere on the floor, and she spreads your legs apart. You moan. She takes a good look at your wet cunt.

She takes a finger, and runs it along your silky folds, "mhmm, se-vika! s-stop teasing!" She smirks at you, and she finally goes down, not giving you a second to process that she's taking a stripe of your cunt. "A-ah, hmm, sev-ika, yo-u fe-el so g-good"

you can barely speak properly.

she eats your pussy like its her last meal on earth, she just hits all the right spots, and you pull her hair a little harder, and moaning louder.

and just like that, you were about to cum. like magic. Her tongue should be kept in bars, for how good it feels, it's unfair.

"s-sevika, I'm cl-ose!" You moan out, your take your hand, and fondle your own tits, while you moan her name "se-sevika!!"

"Cum for me, baby, I want you to come in my mouth" she tells you. It's like a magic word at this point when she tells you to cum for her, you actually do.

"o-oh yes! hmm, fuck!" You throw your head back, your grip on her hair tightening, and you push her deeper, and deeper into your pussy.

You were practically drowning her. But you know this is what she wants. This is what she loves.

After awhile, when you calm down, you pull her up, and lean in for a deep kiss. You can actually taste yourself a bit in her mouth.

When you finally gain the energy, you smirk at her, "Now it's your turn baby~" You say to her, pushing her on to the couch, and make her lay there. You position yourself between her thighs, and you pull per pants off.

You take a whiff of her sex, and she smells absolutely amazing. You take your time with her, your tongue slow, sensual, and you taste every part of her. When she moves around alot, that's when you decide to take your hand, and wrap it around her legs, and hips, to keep her from pushing. She's pulling back, little by little as she gets closer and closer.

You pull her back, practically wrestling her, "You're not going anywhere, Sevi" You say firmly, and get back to what you're eating. She huffs, and whimpers, and she grips your hair tightly, her body stiffening up, and you can feel her grind herself on your tongue, you let her dance for a bit, until she's almost close. You put 2 fingers in her pussy, and pump it fast and hard, in contrast to the slow, and sensual licking of her clit.

She's grinding more and more now, her grip ever so slightly getting harder, and harder. "F-fuck, princess, you're s-so fuck-ing good, mhm, I'm almost there!" She sobs, you smile while eating her out, and maintain eye contact with her, you pull back and slowly finger her, just teasing her a little bit. She whines even more. "Hmm, baby, I want you to look at me when I make you cum. Got that?" She looks at you flustered, and she nods.

You smirk, and you put your mouth back on her, and your fingers pump faster and faster, and there she is trying her best not to throw her head back.

"c'm fr m, bby" You say while you suck and lick her clit.

And with that, her body convulses, her head thrown back, her eyes rolling in the back of her head, and she grinds on your face more, and more. You close your eyes, enjoying the tastes of her juices coming out, your fingers still fast, and your face getting soaked from her squirting cunt.

You pull back, and take your fingers out of her. You lick her clean, not missing a spot, and you make her suck on your fingers, as she pants, she opens her mouth, and suck it clean.

You get up, and get a towel for her, she's still experiencing the aftermath of her orgasm. "Enjoy yourself, baby?" You ask her teasingly with a smile on your face.

She rolls her eyes, and it honestly looks like she's making a sex face at you right now. You chuckle, and cuddle up to her naked, and she giggles at you.

"I love you so fucking much, Sevi." You look up at her, cupping her cheeks with your hand, and you went up to kiss the top of her head.

She's still catching her breath, bit alot calmer now, and she smiles at you. "and I love you, princess. Janna, that mouth of yours, huh?"

You both giggle for the night, and fell asleep just like that.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Okay, so is it obvious I like writing switch Sevika, or not?

This was actually a bit of an emotional roller-coaster to write, but I kind of like it.

[dnvrsmedia]

i fear the voices are making me write for sev again (i miss her bad)

so

sevika falling for nerd!reader (this is totally NOT self indulgent wdym??)

SFW

You both met when silco decided to hire you

And by hire you, he threatened to kill you if you didn’t acquire the money your father owed him (he didn’t care if your father died. he needed his money some way or another)

You, being a modest engineer, did not have much to offer

Except for your brains

Sev was definitely skeptical about you when you first landed on the team (but let’s be fr when is she ever open minded and welcoming)

She was tasked to keep you company whilst doing your various tasks (silco calls it bodygaurding, sevika calls it babysitting)

Sevika likes to pretend that she hates brooding around you but that would be a lie.

You’re sitting around doing your work.

glasses sliding down the bridge of your nose, making your concentrated face.

& Sev’s whole body is lit on fire.

oh don’t get me started on when she hears you in your meetings talking your smart shit

she’s practically drooling

CALLING ! YOU ! COOKIE !

this started off as her calling you a smart cookie (absolutely trying to be demeaning when she first met you)

and when you finally chip her walls the nickname spirals into something endearing

“Cookie, cmere real quick”

“Ya know i don’t understand that smart shit, cookie”

“ Maybe I need tutoring, Cooks”

She absolutely will stare down the men in your meetings who try and demean you.

“ Look, I don’t know what the fuck you guys are talking about but she does. Next time you interrupt her it’ll be my foot up your ass”

Will ALWAYS be asking you to tinker with her arm

You’ve gotten caught staring at her one too many times

not just because she’s ya know so delicious looking

But because you’re thinking about the many many different ways you can upgrade her!

This obviously did not bode well when she first met you!

Barring her teeth at you and the whole 9 yards but that didn’t stop the pull you both felt for each other!!!

She revels in making you nervous

At the start, Sevika used to use her “scary lady status” (you’ve coined this term) on you

she’d absolutely tower over you with a :| face just to push your glasses up your nose

she’d watch your breath catch in your chest as your heart pounded heavily with a smirk

now! she uses her scary lady status on you for good!

she absolutely will threaten you to take breaks

So many times has she found you sitting at your desk, mouth open, and softly snoring

Meanwhile, her heart breaks into thousands of little pieces

“Cooks, you work too hard. How many times do I gotta check you’re here before going home?”

She shakes her head as she hoisted your body over her brute shoulder.

she absolutely loves you reading to her

after a long day of work for the both of you

you can bet on it that Sev will mope around you until you’re ready to lay with her head on your lap

Sev never understood the whole point of reading growing up

Having a rocky relationship with her family (her dad) she never experienced the warmth being read to could have brought.

So when you offered to read to her after a particularly hard day she thought you were joking

Absolutely within 20 minutes of you reading and scratching her scalp did she comically fall asleep

I mean open mouth dad snoring with drool dripping onto your blanket

but it’s okay because you’d won’t have it any other way :)

[retroaria]

hey! I'm not really into nsfw stuff- sooo would you like to do something soft with reo? 😭 like, idk, him as a husband or father so with a family? THANK YOU SO MUCH 💗💗

✮⋆˙ domestic reo headcanons ✮⋆˙

a/n: this is so brain rotted i can’t even lie i think reo is just so easy to romanticize. pure fluff.

• | BLUE LOCK M.LIST | enjoy !! - aria 💜 | •

✮ I actually love this because i headcanon that reo would be a great dad :D at the very least he’d be extremely supportive of whatever his children wanted to do in their lives. He wouldn’t force them to follow in his footsteps like his father and he’d use whatever devices he could to ensure they can comfortably follow the path they choose.

✮ Would post about all his children’s accomplishments, or if you guys didn’t feel comfortable posting the kids he’d still take any chance to tell everyone about it - even his teammates who literally don’t care that his son got the highest score on the spelling test (they’re happy for him though). He secretly enjoys scrapbooking for his kids but they’re “your books” and he “just helps you with it sometimes”. (he’s the one who took almost all the pictures and saved every piece of paper his kid has ever drawn on)

✮ Reo is a charming husband, so charming and sweet it’s hard to be mad at him. He’s a bit lacking in cleaning/caretaking capabilities when it comes to the home but he puts in the effort??? He tries his best and if he does a bad job he always makes it up to you one way or another. In all honesty, he’s probably already hired people to do that (forgot this man is inheriting a multi millionaire dollar corporation).

✮ Reo is however very good at taking care of children. Once he has a clear grasp of their needs, he finds it to be really enjoyable and fulfilling. He takes a lot of pride in whatever happiness and comfort he can bring to his kids. He hates the sound of his babies crying, not because it’s annoying (though he complains about that too) but because it genuinely hurts his soul. He can be a bit too worrisome about it sometimes - he’s totally the type of person to look up his child’s symptoms and freak out over seeing all the worst case scenarios.

✮ The one thing that reo particularly excels at is taking care of you when you’re sick. He can always tell when you’re not feeling your best and he immediately harps on you. He doesn’t know how to cook very well but he knows how to make a few different kinds of warm foods to fill your stomach and give you a little energy. He’d absolutely refuse to stay away from you (unless it was a seriously contagious illness or if you guys had a baby that could’ve gotten sick). Doesn’t care if you’re sneezing and coughing and wheezing, he wants to feed you and hold you and kiss your hot head until it cools down and everything is better again. His goal is always to make sure you get better as soon as possible and won’t let you do anything but rest and relax until then.

✮ Reo is an incredible gift giver! I’ve certainly mentioned this in another hc post, but he is always out and about buying you little things that remind him of you. If you guys have a kid that’s just more gifts he’ll have to get and the thought of that honestly excites him.

✮ Anything can happen but…reo with a daughter…guys….

✮ he would be the sweetest girl dad! would do everything in his power to make her believe she’s an actual princess and he’s just one of her loyal servants. Spoils her rotten and doesn’t feel bad about it.

✮ You’d have to explain to him how this could negatively affect your daughter and it would break his heart. He’d go into theatrics trying to refute it because “What do you mean I can’t let her have everything she wants?” and “What if she cries? You want me to make my daughter cry?” he gets it eventually, but remains reluctant lol.

✮ He’d love playing sports with his kids. Would try to get them into soccer but if they end up liking another sport he’s still just as hype. Isn’t initially familiar with the concept of letting the kids win but soon realized he has to level with the speed of their little legs.

✮ I don’t have any specific hc’s for him as a boy dad but he’d be just as great of course - he’d make sure his son sees how women should be treated based on how he treats you!

✮ If he could find a way to make you the total world ruler he would because he truly believes you’re the most capable person. He’s the kind of husband who lets you run things for the most part but is always there to step in when you need a break or if you just want him by your side. Would call for an emergency flight back home from whatever country he’s training in just because you said you didn’t wanna go to parent teacher night alone.

✮ He loves doing mundane tasks with you, but always tries to “make it a bit more fun” as he says - which basically means he puts away the clothes you fold while you listen to him crack really bad jokes at you, gossip about his teammates, or try to sing and serenade you with his MANY playlists he’s made dedicated to you. On days you both have nothing going on he follows you around the house like a lost puppy, which is slightly annoying but it also means you have four hands to do stuff because he’s a participator above all else.

✮ Reo always makes sure to show his appreciation for how hard you work whether it’s at your job, taking care of the kids/house, or both. He takes time alone with you very seriously, even as your lives get busier and your family grows he always makes sure there’s time for the two of you to just be together and be in love. Always jokes about how you guys need to keep the romance going. He has small romantic gestures that he indulges you in throughout the day: kissing you on the cheek, brushing your hair out of your face/tying it back for you if you if you need (taking his hair tie out for you to use), hugging you a little tighter just before you get up, running a bath for the both of you, massaging your shoulders while you talk.

to be fully honest with you guys, i have never in my life wanted to have kids so it was a bit hard for me to imagine what being happy with children would be like LMAO but alas i did my best. stay safe and stay cool. - aria :3

[ur-sick-and-married]

WHATEVER YOU NEED • ABBY ANDERSON

CONTENTS: female/afab reader, reader has PTSD to some extent, smut with plot, smut is probably bad, literally just thigh riding, awkward/nervous sex, banter, pet names, praise

SUMMARY: in the fucked up, apocalyptic world that you live in, Abby Anderson came into it when you needed her most, and she hasn’t stopped supporting you since. She’s your friend, safety, and so much more. She’ll do anything for you…including giving you pleasure.

A/N: hiii…so this is the first smut thing I’ve ever posted. I’m actually very nervous to post this. If you think this is good or bad or whatever, please give me feedback! I’d really appreciate some comments. I didn’t proofread this because I just wanted to post it before rethinking it…enjoy!

When Abby first found you, you were terrified of everything. The world hadn’t been kind to you. You were deeply traumatized.

Then this giant, blonde girl came into your life and changed you. You joined the WLF, where you started working through that trauma with one of the doctors, and that muscular girl, Abby, of course. You were quickly made Abby’s roommate. She had a bond with you that confused, yet earned her respect, everyone. She could calm you down, convince you to eat, get you to point out what had triggered you. It was incredible.

The bond only grew stronger. You were learning to trust, but you didn’t trust anyone as much as Abby. You stayed glued to her side when you could. You trained together, cooked together, ate meals together, went on patrol together, etc. The bond was becoming more than survival…it was a friendship. She was almost motherly towards you.

Until…she wasn’t. The connection was yet again changing. The soothing touches to bring you back to the present started lasting longer. Her hand would linger on your back or face for a while. She didn’t want to let go.

And…you started sleeping in the same bed. You had nightmares, and her being close helped them. You felt safe having her in the same bed. Plus, she was always so warm.

“What was it about this time?” She asked one night after you had woken up quickly.

“The usual.” You muttered.

For the first time, you were lying to her. “The usual” meant blood and infected and dead loved ones. That night you had dreamed about her.

This kept happening. The dreams got…dirty. You felt uncomfortable, but oddly aroused.

One night, the dreams got particularly graphic. You woke up sweating, your body rigid, and an ache between your legs.

“Nightmare?” Abby asked sleepily from behind you.

“No…I’m fine.” You whispered.

“You’re all stiff.” She commented, and reached out to rub your back.

You only tensed more. The touch made you shiver.

“Sorry.” She said softly. “I won’t touch you right now.”

Part of you wanted to yell, beg her to please touch you, please make your aching stop. But you didn’t. You just stayed silent. And pushed your legs together.

“What’s going on?” Abby said after a few minutes. “You’re being weird.”

“I’m not.” You grumbled.

“Yeah, you are.” She scoffed. “Now tell me what’s up.”

“I’m just a little restless.”

That was a good lie, right? It would make her understand why you kept shifting…right?

Abby was quiet, and you thought she had dropped it.

But when you squeezed your legs together again, she placed a hand on your thigh, making you freeze.

“Restless, hm?” She hummed mischievously.

“Abby…” You exhale shakily.

“No, I understand.” She said, her hand moving to your hip. “Everyone gets a little…restless. Don’t worry about it.”

She started playing with the waistband of your shorts. “You want me to help you with that restlessness?”

Her fingers slowly slipped under your shorts.

“Abby!” You repeated hastily, panic in your voice.

She stopped immediately. “Fuck…I’m sorry. I read that wrong. I’m sorry.”

She pulled back and went silent, internally cursing herself for making things weird.

You could feel your heart hammering, your muscles so tight you were shaky. God…what had come over you?

“Abby…” You whispered. “I do…want…you.”

You were both surprised by your own words. She never expected this relationship to become sexual…not that she was hating it.

“Have you ever…you know, before?” She questioned hesitantly.

“Yeah.” You answered. “Just…not with a girl.”

You weren’t a virgin. You’d fooled around before. But it never really meant anything. You would hook up with random people, just wanting to get off. The flings were simply about pleasure, never about love or connection. It was definetly difficult to find sex in an apocalypse, so people were antsy to climax.

“Okay…” Abby said, moving close again. “Tell me…tell me what you need.”

You rolled over, so now you were face to face, both of you lying in your sides. Your hand found its way to her shirt, and you tugged her closer.

The room wasn’t super dark. Abby had managed to find a small nightlight a while ago, to help you fall asleep without anxiety.

You could see the outlines of eachother, and her sharp features. You felt her finger on your cheek, tracing the shape of your face as if it wasn’t already memorized.

“I don’t need much.” You whispered. “Abby…do you think you could kiss me?”

Her lips slammed into yours before you could take a breath. The kiss was passionate, all teeth and saliva, your hands gripping each other desperately. It was clear you both had pent up feelings about each other. She pulled you into her arms, deepening the kiss, if that was even possible. You swore you could feel her tongue in your chest. You eagerly clung to her, legs intertwining. Her leg slotted between yours perfectly, like it was meant to go there.

“This okay?” Abby asked breathlessly.

You nodded quickly, chest heaving from the kiss. “Yeah…it is. Could you…”

When your sentence trailed off, your fading voice full of nerves, Abby lightly squeezed your arm.

“Tell me.” She insisted. “I need you to be honest right now. I need this to be good for you.”

“I don’t want you to touch me there…” You told her. “Not…yet.”

“Okay.” She agreed.

You were surprised she didn’t question you, or get weirded out.

The truth was, you weren’t ready to be vulnerable in that way yet. You didn’t want to be so exposed, not when other aspects of your life had been. You weren’t ready for her to touch you, see your most private self.

Yet…you really wanted to be pleasured by Abby Anderson.

Her leg was waiting between yours perfectly own, practically pleading you to use it. You couldn’t help yourself when you moved even closer, and carefully dragged yourself against her thigh.

Your shaky gasp was music to her ears. Her big, warm hands held your hips, and moved you against her again.

The pressure and friction was incredible. The idea of it going away made you want to cry.

“Abby…” You breathed, your eyes feeling wonderfully heavy.

“Good?” She said nervously.

“So good.” You nodded, then let out a small, blissful laugh. “Really, really good.”

She grinned wildly, her ego surely growing. She gripped your hips tighter, feeling more confident. “More?”

“Uh-huh…please?” You whispered eagerly.

She pulled you as close as possible, her leg snug against your core. Her thigh had your pants and underwear rubbing at you, and the sensation made you groan. Abby still had a big cocky smile on her face. Normally, you’d give her a playful shove, but you (obviously) weren’t in the position to do that. With the way you were curled into her, her arm was right by your face. You placed a gentle kiss on her bicep, then carefully bit her. Abby let out a small, choked moan, her grip on you tightening. She pressed her leg against you firmly, making you gasp.

“You’re a biter, hm?” She hummed.

“Only for you.” You answered sarcastically.

Abby laughed softly, and buried her face in your hair, earning a smile from you.

“You wanna focus on how good this is?” She whispered, her voice suddenly husky. “Or do you wanna keep making jokes?”

“Both would be ideal.” You mumbled, starting to get swept up by the pleasure.

When you bit your lip and groaned again, Abby smiled, softer this time, and just hugged you close to her chest, muttering “that’s what I thought.”

Maybe it was because you hadn’t been pleasured in so long. Maybe because the person doing said pleasuring was so connected to you. But something about what you were doing, even though it was so simple, felt amazing. The sensations had your chest rising and falling unevenly, your lip being constantly bitten, your hands grasping at Abby’s shirt.

“Relax.” She whispered, running a hand up and down your back.

You stuttered, trying to tell her that it was just so good.

“I know, I know…” She murmured.

She cupped your face with one hand, and tilted your head upwards, to place kisses all over your face. She carefully pulled you into another kiss. This one was softer, allowing you to breathe. You kissed her back as much as you could. A growing heat in your lower stomach was distracting you.

Abby could tell. Your hips were faltering, your breathing all strained. She held your hips again, helping you get the rhythm back.

“Close?” She said, even though she already knew the answer. She wanted to hear you say it.

“Yes, I’m…very close…” You nodded hastily.

“Yeah?” She hummed. “Gonna finish all over my thigh?”

“Abby!” You whined, the heat becoming unbearable.

“Shh, pretty girl.” She murmured. “You have to stay quiet for me, okay?”

You buried your face in her chest, muffling your whimpers and gasps.

“That’s it.” She praised you softly. “Such a good girl. You wanna come?”

“Yes, yes, Abby, please-“ You stammered.

“You can come.” She whispered. “Whenever you’re ready, honey.”

With a few more rocks of your hips, you were coming. Your hips moved frantically against her, your body trembling as wave after wave of pleasure crashed into you. You clung to Abby, covering up your cries by keeping your face squished into her chest. She kept a good grip on you, not letting you thrash too much.

“There you go, let it out.” She said soothingly, enthralled by the way you were shaking in her arms.

Once the pleasure subsided, you went limp in her arms, body sweating and trembling. She held you close, rubbing your back again as you caught your breath.

“Well, fuck.” You whispered after a few minutes.

Abby smiled, chucking a little. “I was thinking the same thing.”

She held you for a long time, letting you regain your bearings and calm down. You were getting sleepy, the high leaving your body feeling like jello, in a pleasant way. Even with that sensation, you felt a bit of anxiety creeping in. “Abby…?”

“Hm?” She answered, clearly sleepy too.

“Are you okay?” You asked nervously.

To your surprise, she laughed a little again. “Of course I am. I’m great, sweetheart.”

You nodded, wanting to feel relieved.

“Let’s go to sleep, okay?” She murmured, sensing your anxiety. “We’ll talk in the morning.”

“Okay.” You agreed. You couldn’t deny how heavy your eyes felt, even though you wanted to figure out whatever had just happened.

“Just go to sleep.” She whispered. “Don’t overthink it. Rest that pretty little brain of yours.”

She was so warm, her scent and comfort surrounding you. It was almost painful to keep your eyes open. The last thing you heard before drifting off was her repeating, “we’ll talk in the morning.”

[gemsofthegalaxy]

I really do love Evan and Sam together as a romantic couple because their whole deals are so very opposite but also so similar.

Sam, she's so charming and charismatic, it makes sense that in the first season she ends up dating this jock and she gets along well with him (although I believe Fergus has some dorkiness to him, too, lol). But it's revealed in the second season her self-esteem is very low and she's now hung up on the idea that it isn't her natural charm and kindness, but the fact that she's been using magic which means everyone is fake. She can't trust people's good opinions of her. It's very "you love me at my Sam Black, at my Sam Britian, but can you handle me at Sam Bulter?" what happens when she's not charming, or accommodating, when she has a bad day. There's also a certain degree with Sam seeing herself as nothing but her charms, she doesn't think she's particularly capable or smart outside of her kindness, which is why it's so amazing that Danielle selected the mind track for her to get better in and Sam insisted she just felt a Connection to the magic of knowledge, rather than charm. It's amazing how charming and kind she is, but she doesn't want that to be all she is.

Evan was always so insecure over being so weird, so it makes sense he ended up with K at first, who is also a certified weirdoTM and he gets sort of insecure about where he stands with Jammer because Jammer starts out just so normal. Evan feels threatened at least a bit by Jammer's friends, thinking he can't fit in with them, and he also says the same thing with Sam to a degree being like "Well I wouldn't want to freak out Ariana Grande" (As Sam points out, Ari is also a freak tho so >_> yknow). But during the adventure, sort of like Danielle, Brennan decided to go with the magnetism/charisma stat to increase because he felt like Evan was starting to truly just accept himself. Take him or leave him, that's Evan Kelmp, he's the haunted white guy and his friends love him and you might love him too if the two of you click but he's not gonna be worrying about that all the time to the point he's sick every day. Still, Evan does struggle about being wanted and he's able to communicate that to Sam, you know, blanket invitations don't work for him but she says no, for real, I would spend day after day with you. I'll cook you food, not just a generic invite, please actually come over. And he's so excited about that, it's adorable. That's an aside, anywayy.

I have liked Evan and Sam together since season 1, I always felt that she cared about him not only in the way she generally cares about people but she just, really clicked with Evan in a way that may seem funny to onlookers because of the aforementioned "pretty, popular girl who gets the jocks, befriending straight up haunted weirdo". But, as I outlined above, they have more insecurity in common because both of them understand why people like them when they're useful/kind/etc but doubt if people will truly love the real them, or them when they're going through tough moments.

And over the course of S2 it was sooo clear that Brennan meant for Evan to be crushing on Sam. He loves her so, so much. He really admires all of his friends and he also thinks the world of Jammer, too, to be fair, but Evan is sincerely endlessly impressed with Sam and everything she does. He acts like she hung the moon in the sky. I truly do think that Evan would be happy just to see her be happy, his love for her is very pure and he'd be okay if it weren't romantic as long as she still wanted him around and cared about their friendship- but I think he's in love with her, and knows that somewhat early in the adventure.

Because Evan is so sincere, thinks Sam is so cool and so good, it gets across that he truly means it. He doesn't just see Sam Britian and care about her fame. That's cool, too, but he would love her no matter what her job is. He truly loves Sam for Sam and she believes him, and loves him back, and even if she could be dating some celebrity (which she could, easily) she chooses to be with Evan instead. And in that choice, Evan knows she loves him for him, too, because why else would she choose that?

i just. love them so much you guys.

[snoopyracing]

back to december // ln4

pairing: lando norris X reader

word count: 9k

warnings: swearing, alcohol use, and implied sex

includes: friends to lovers, pining, fluff, and angst.

summary: follows lando and the reader from the beginning of their relationship all the way until the end. based off of ‘back to december’ by taylor swift.

A/N: some of this is may not be biblically f1 accurate so please just close your eyes and pretend it is. who cares when the vibes are great. also don't forget.... i'm also just a girl...

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

The days blurred together anymore, blurred into the same monotonous routine.

Wake up, get ready for work, go to work, come home, and then distract yourself from your own thoughts until it was time to go to bed. Some days were worse than others, but it was your own self destructive tendencies that got you into this state.

Today was a particularly shitty day, especially for a Friday. You couldn't wait to get home, but walking through the door to an empty apartment was something you still hadn't gotten used to. The bright warmness that always seemed to cascade through the apartment was replaced with dark coldness. The blinds were always shut now, the apartment could easily be mistaken for a vampire's liar at this point. The music that once played almost 24/7, that got you guys plenty of noise complaints, now collected dust on the shelf. The smell of dinner cooking as you walked through the door was now replaced with the Chinese takeout from two nights ago heating up in the microwave.

As you watched the plate spin your reflection in the yellow glow caught your attention. Oof. Have you really looked like this recently? The dark circles under your eyes looked like you had been taking up cage fighting as a hobby recently. You weren't sure how long you stood there, picking yourself apart, finding something new with each pass over yourself. The beeping from the microwave had been drowned out by your own thoughts.

Your phone had started to ring on the counter behind you, causing you to jump. Combine that with the now incessant beeping of the microwave and your heart was racing. You pressed answer, not bothering to glance at the caller id.

"Hello?" You asked as you opened the microwave, careful to not spill the plate as you picked it up with one hand.

The sound of your clearly already inebriated best friend filled your ears. "Heyyyyy!" You made your way to the couch, ready to stuff your face and then rot in your usual spot until you fell asleep. "I think you should get up off that couch and come over. We are having a little get together."

You couldn't help but roll your eyes at her statement. She had tried multiple times after it had happened to get you to go out. She had once famously said 'the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else'. Something that you gave a hard pass to. You thought she had finally given up on trying to get you to go out. It had been maybe almost a month, if you remembered correctly, since your last invite. Also, her get little get togethers were never little. They always escalated into bigger than her house could handle parties. Not that was always a bad thing, it's just the more people the more of a chance for you to run into him, or one his friends. The idea made your stomach turn.

"Would love to, but I'm already settled in for the night. Plus, sounds like you've already started the party without me."

"Oh come on! Please come over. It's been almost three months. Even for just a little bit." Before you could decline again she was already begging for a second time. "Please. For me?"

She was right, it had been almost three months. Maybe a party could do you some good or even just getting out of this routine you've been in for months. Then your mind wandered back to the same person it always has for months. "Is he going to be there?"

"Why would he be here?"

Your eyes darted to the picture frame on the tv stand. Inside the white wooden frame was picture of him and you and all your shared friends. It was from a trip you all had taken last summer to Greece. You both looked so happy and in love, which back then you were. You really should have put that picture up a long time ago, but you couldn't. There were a lot of things you couldn't put away.

"Maybe because we have mutual friends?" You pried.

"He's probably busy this weekend or out of the country. It will be fine. Just please come."

You sighed looking up to find that same reflection from the microwave now residing in the black screen of the TV. As you glanced back between your reflection in the tv and the picture of you from almost a year ago, you decided it was time to get back to the girl you were in Greece. Even without him.

"Fine. Let me get ready and I'll be over." The squeal that came from your friend's mouth was borderline inhumane. "I'll see you in a little bit." But as you hung up the phone that creeping what the hell did i just agree to feeling had appeared.

You tried to push those thoughts aside and hurried to get ready. Maybe this sudden spontaneous so out of character decision for you lately would be a good thing. You slapped on some makeup, making sure to cover those horrible dark circles and chose a casual, yet still party worthy outfit. Honestly the person who stood staring back at you from the mirror looked like the old you. The old you, the you that was happier, the you that was and still is in love.

The uber ride to your friend's house thankfully wasn't that long, it didn't allow for you to psych yourself out and change your mind about going. As the driver pulled up to her house it didn't seem like that crazy of a party, so maybe it was just a little get together. You thanked the driver and made your way to the front door. You took a deep breath before entering, here goes nothing. As you closed to door behind you, your eyes scanned the room. Some familiar faces filled the space of the living room. They noticed your presence and gave you a smile, but nobody came over to talk. You weren't sure if you should be offended or thankful.

Weaving your way through the house, you were on a mission to find your friend, her house wasn't that big, it shouldn't take that long to find her. As you entered the kitchen you realized it was the most crowded room in the house, granted it was were all the drinks were at. You found your friend in the center of the crowd, of course, but as she spotted you coming towards her she stopped her conversations and closed the gap between the two of you. Her arms squeezed you in so tight you could barely breathe.

"I'm so glad you came!"

You smiled back at her, but wanted to get some drinks in to loosen up some. "Yeah, yeah. What about a drink? I know you've started without me."

"Here. Your favorite." She grabbed a beer from the counter, pushing it towards you.

Not your favorite, in fact you hated beer, but you took it with a smile on your face. Some more people began filtering into the kitchen. "I'm gonna go talk to them real quick." Your friend stated. She was gone before you could say anything.

You tried to find something else to drink, but it had seemed that all that was left was beer. What was this? Some high school party? You took a swig of the beer your friend had handed you, hoping your taste buds had changed, but you were wrong. The one swig was enough for you to set it back on the counter.

The kitchen was becoming a little too stuffy and your friend didn't seem to be making her way back to you anytime soon, so you slid out the door to the patio. The fresh air already making you feel better. There were some people out there, a group of guys passing around a joint and some other people just talking, but nothing like the crowd in the kitchen. The empty lounge chair at the corner of the patio was calling your name. With nothing to drink and not really anyone here that you would like to talk to, besides your friend, this party was not turning out like you had hoped. You leaned back in the chair, looking up at the night sky. You tried to find some of the constellations, but the city lights made it far too hard to do.

You could hear footsteps coming towards you and you assumed it was your friend finally coming to hang out, but it was someone far worse than that.

"I think I might see the big dipper." You froze in the chair, goosebumps formed on your skin as your stomach turned. There was no need to turn around to see who was behind you, you knew that voice anywhere. "Hi Y/N."

Hearing him say your name made your body turn towards him, but also made your heart ache. Hearing your name roll off his tongue once brought you so much joy. Now it was like a stab in the heart. Your eyes scanned over him.

Fuck.

He looked good, so good. Clearly he was doing better than you were. His tan skin somehow still glistened in the night time and his curls slightly moved with the night breeze. Even though it was dark, the light from the patio allowed you to still see those eyes of his. The ones that still made you weak in the knees.

"Hi Lando." You gave him a small smile.

Of course he would be here you thought. You should have known he would be here. You had an inkling your friend knew and did this on purpose. You could kill her, but then again it was nice to see him, even if it did hurt like a bitch.

He stared at you for a moment before taking a seat on the end on the lounge chair where your legs resided moments ago. Being in this close of proximity to him made your heart race. Fuck you missed him and it drive you crazy the effect he still had on you.

He noticed you weren't drinking anything and let out a small chuckle. "Still don't like beer huh?"

You smiled, "Never have, never will."

He nodded and looked down at his shoes. This was clearly one of the most awkward conversations you've had in a long time.

"So how's your family doing?" You thought that might be a good thing to ask, you loved his family, so in all seriousness it was a genuine question.

He took a swig of his beer. "Yeah they're good."

You just nodded at his dry answer. Could this get anymore awkward?

You could feel Lando staring at you, he took another swig of his beer before asking. "So how's your new found freedom?"

Ouch. Sensitive topic. You didn't want to talk about how much of a fuck up you were right now, so you deflected the conversation back to him. "Saw you made podium recently. Congrats."

He laughed dryly, he knew what you were doing. "Thanks."

You had started to pick at your nails, a nervous habit the both of you unfortunately shared. You didn't want your relationship to have turned out this way. You wanted to tell him right then and there that you were sorry. That you missed him more than anyone could imagine. That he didn't deserve what you put him through. That you still love him. The memories of you two came flooding back and as you two sat there on the lounge chair, close as strangers. Your mind hit replay.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Lando had been in your life for years. You had met not to long after he had been brought onto the McLaren team. If you wanted to get specific it was at a celebratory party his friends had thrown him. You were invited through mutual friends. When you went that night you had no idea you had just met the man who three years later you would be in love with. Sure you thought he was good looking, who didn't? For awhile you just remained casual friends, really not even that close. After about a year and a half of seeing him at parties, sometimes at other friends houses, and out at clubs, something had started to fester inside of you.

Needless to say you were developing a little crush. It didn't help that when you did see each other, he always went out his way to talk to you. You could walk into the room and as soon as he noticed you, whatever conversation he was having was terminated and he was soon by your side. Some more time had passed and you had heard through the grapevine that Lando was seeing someone, it stung a little, but other than showing you some attention he had made no claim to you. So, what were you to do other than just get over it and hopefully find someone new to crush on.

Though, his new relationship didn't last long and soon enough he was back to charming you. The talking occasionally at gatherings turned into texting, that then turned into texting everyday, which turned into facetiming, and then turned into you two always hanging out when he was around hanging out.

The two of you would go out to eat, to the movies, or even just hang out at each others apartments. It was always a fun time as long as you were in each others presence. You attended some races that were closer to home, always so excited to see him do the one thing he loved. The races you didn't attend though, the two of you were always in contact. Something that you always made sure of was that he never went without his 'goodluck ♡' text from you.

It had gotten to the point where your friends for sure thought you guys were dating and the public had a hunch too. You couldn't deny that your feelings for him were way beyond crush status at this point. And to say you would have rather ate glass than ask him how he felt about you was an understatement. The idea of Lando rejecting you was something that kept you up at night, so your feelings remained bottled up. That was until a sunny race day last spring.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Spring - i miss your tan skin, your sweet smile. so good to me, so right.

Lando had asked you weeks ago to come the upcoming Grand Prix in Australia. You were hesitant, Australia would be the furthest you had ever been from home and it made you a little nervous. At least, that's what you told him. The real truth was that you would've loved to go to Australia, especially to watch him race, but you just couldn't stand to be around him. Your feelings for him were making it so hard to be in his presence, especially with his naturally flirty personality. Your friends kept telling you that you were blind and that he was totally into you, but those statements always rolled off your back. To you, there was no way he felt that the same way you felt about him. So to try and protect yourself from one sided heartbreak, you distanced yourself.

All that work failed though, because here you were a week later on a plane to Australia. It didn't take much more begging from Lando for you to finally cave. Hell, he even wanted you to come early with him, but you drew the line. He had work to do and you didn't want to be in the way, because knowing Lando recently, he would have wanted you with him 24/7. Which was really tampering with your distancing yourself from him plan.

Two connecting flights later and you were finally landing in Melbourne. As you departed from the plane and collected your bags you realized maybe you should have come earlier with him. The airport was insanely busy and trying to get a Uber was going to be a huge and expensive pain in the ass.

You pulled out your phone from your pocket to see if there was even any Ubers available when a text from Lando popped up.

Lan: I've tried to send this damn message like 10 times. Wait. I hope everything's ok with the plane.....Tbh I think I would have gotten an alert or something. Or I would hope your last dying text would go to me. Anyways... text me as soon as you land. I've got a car waiting for you to bring you to the track.

You rolled your eyes at his dramatics, but was very thankful for him always taking care of you. Hell, the cost alone of your plane ticket was enough to make your eyes bulge, but he took care of it like it was nothing.

You: I'm alive. The wifi sucked on the last plane. Actually don't think I can ever do 26 hours of traveling again... consider yourself lucky Norris.

It didn't take but a minute for him to respond.

Lan: I was starting to get worried. Just saying it would have been much better if you just flew down with me days ago...

You: Perhaps.... I'll see you soon.

The ride to the track was beautiful. The sun had just made its grand entrance to the world as you looked out the window. You tried to look at as much as you could on the drive over, wanting to experience as much as you could with what time you had in Australia.

Lando was waiting for you when you arrived, paddock pass in hand. Cheesy smiles were painted on both of your faces as he pulled you into a hug. His cologne alone made you weak in the knees, let alone the feeling of being in his arms.

"Missed ya," he mumbled.

As you pulled away from him you were able to get a good long look at him. There was something about him during race weekends that just made him come alive, made him hotter. Not to mention how sunkissed he looked. Australia had been very kind to him and it was something you could get used to.

He grabbed your hand pulling you along with him. "Come on. Some stuff we need to do before race time." He was being very touchy today and you could feel yourself starting to become putty in his hands.

You got about ten steps before remembering your luggage. "Wait Lan! My bags!" You turned around to see the car had left.

"Don't worry about it. I've got it taken care of."

He always seemed to be doing that, taking care of you.

The place was already alive as the two of you walked around. In a few short minutes you were in his private room and miraculously so was your luggage "You can relax in here for awhile, or do whatever. I've got some things to do but I'll come get you before the race ok?"

You nodded at him and he closed the door behind him. Glancing around the room your eyes landed on the couch and decided a quick power nap may do you some good. You weren't asleep but maybe a half an hour when the constant sound of text notifications woke you up. You grabbed your phone, nothing, not a single text. You thought maybe you were dreaming it and then you heard it again. You looked to your left to see Lando's phone on the side table. He must have forgotten it.

You weren't trying to be nosy, but you were curious as to who was blowing up his phone like that. Quickly grabbing it you saw multiple texts from multiple people from the McLaren team asking where he was at. Must be missing an interview or something you thought. Then you saw something that caught your eye, his lock screen. Behind all the text notifications was a picture of you two. It was after the the first race of his you had ever come to watch. He had a not so great finish to the race and you knew he was going to be hard on himself. So when he made it back to the garage, you were there with arms wide open, a gesture he gladly accepted. Someone must have snapped a picture of you two and sent it to him.

It was a cute picture, but your head was trying to comprehend why he had it as his lock screen. You kept telling yourself that friends don't make pictures like that their lock screen. Then your mind went to the idea of him feeling the same way about you and you could feel your heart starting to race. You weren't going to get your hopes up, but as you put the phone back on the side table you couldn't help but hold on to a little sliver of hope.

It was getting close to race time so you grabbed your bags to get ready. Of course you put on some McLaren attire, specifically some with the number four on it. Just as you were putting on your shoes there was a knock on the door and Lando's head peaks in.

"Ready?" But when he notices you've got on not just any regular McLaren shirt, but his branded one, a small smirk forms on his face.

"Yep. Let's go." You head towards the door, but stop and grab his phone. "Oh wait. I think you might've forgotten this earlier."

His cheeks flush as you hand it over to him, he knows you had to have looked at it, he knows you saw his lock screen. "There it is. Was looking for it all over." He tried to act cool as he shoved it in his pocket.

Lando leads you all through the McLaren area and some people say hi, remembering you from some of the previous races you had attended. He talks to some of the team, and as you stand back and watch you can't help but admire him. How much dedication he puts in is insane and you hoped he would get that well deserved win soon. It wasn't long before the two of you headed back towards his room so he could get ready for the race. You knew he liked to spend this time alone, he had his traditions, so you lingered in the doorway.

"You need anything before I go?"

A confused expression washed over his face. "Go where?"

Now you had the confused expression. "I figured you'd want to be alone."

"Why would I fly you all the way out here to not spend time with you?" He scooted over on the couch making room for you next to him. "C'mere."

As you fully stepped into the room and closed the door, you could feel the mood in the room change. It felt even more strange when you sat next to him on the couch. You tried to make small talk to make it less awkward. "Nervous for the race?" You weren't even looking at him when you asked the question, which was a dumb one at that.

His fingers gently grabbed your chin. "Would you look at me?" Your head turned to face his, his fingers still lingered near your face. His eyes never leaving yours and you could feel your cheeks getting warm.

Your heart was nearly beating out of your chest. "Lan-"

"God you drive me crazy." His hand now had made a home on your thigh. "In a good way."

"Lando what are you doing?" If he thought you were driving him crazy, he should see how he's making you feel.

He paused, like he was trying to figure out what to say. "Putting my heart and today's race on the line."

Oh god

"Here goes nothing." He took a deep breath. "As much as it sounds like a cliche. I truly think I liked you from the very first time we met. I just didn't realize it until much later. Then I got into my head and figured you didn't feel the same about me as I did you. I tried to push those feelings aside, but as we started to spend more time together, they just kept growing. Then it got to the point where you were the only thing I could think of, only person I wanted to be around. You're my favorite person and one of my biggest supporters. The idea of you not being in my life, not being mine, drives me insane. I want you to be at every race, cheering me on, with my number on you." He glanced at the LN4 on your shirt then back up at you. "Looks like I've got one of those things accomplished already."

Your cheeks felt like they were on fire and as much as you wanted to spill your guts to him too, you were too stunned to speak. Lando tried to read your body language for any sign that you felt the same and after no response from you he started to get nervous. "God. I hope I didn't just fuck everything up between us."

The idea of him being scared shitless of rejection just like you was amusing to you and a grin had plastered itself onto your face. Then before you could even realize what you were doing you were practically in his lap, with your lips on his. His hands cupped your face as he kissed you back. God, did it feel amazing. You couldn't lie you had fantasized about kissing him many a times but you were happy to say the real thing was even better than you had imagined.

As the two of you pulled away both grinning like fools, he asked the question. "Now, are you gonna be mine? So when I win this race I can kiss my girlfriend and celebrate with my girlfriend?"

You simply replied. "Yes."

Things may have escalated at that point and the two of you may have been slightly making out until it was time for him to leave. As he gave you one final kiss as he left, you stayed seated on the couch, trying to collect yourself. The high you were riding was like no other and you pinched yourself to make sure what had just happened was real.

The giddiness was still at an all time high as you tried to focus on the race and you had to admit half the time you were thinking about kissing him again. There were only a couple laps left and Lando had been holding steady at P3 for quite some time now and as he entered the final lap you could hear some yelling from his team and then you saw it. He was inching to pass Lewis and Max and then all at once it happened. Lando was in the lead with the checkered flag in sight and within a second he had won his first F1 Grand Prix. Your chair went hurling backwards as you jumped up cheering. The whole McLaren team was yelling and celebrating.

Lando hurried to find you before he took the podium and when he saw you he ran towards you, of course you got your kiss as promised. Must have been the adrenaline because it was even better than before. "My good luck charm." He said before giving you one last kiss and hurrying off to the podium.

As you watched him take the top spot your heart swelled. It was a long time coming and you were beyond proud. You realized your life would never be the same, but with him by your side it was something to look forward to.

Summer - i think about summer, all the beautiful times. i watched you laughin' from the passenger's side and realized i loved you.

The past couple months had been a whirlwind. You honestly weren't sure how Lando did this for nine months out of the year. Between somehow still balancing work and then traveling on most of the weekends you were drained. Sure, you were nothing but grateful that you even got to tag along and experience these amazing places with your boyfriend. It's just that sometimes you craved just simple quality time between the two of you.

The past weekend had been a home race and luckily there was a gap week before the next race in Hungary. Lando promised you that this weekend would be filled with things that you wanted to do. You just hoped he didn't mind doing nothing.

The first day was great, the two of you basically just rotted in bed all day. It was nice to actually relax for once and you could tell Lando was taking full advantage of it. Although, by the afternoon of the next day you were both getting slightly antsy. Boredom, believe it or not had set in. Apparently you had become more accustomed to the busy lifestyle than you thought. You tried to occupy your brain with playing some games on your phone, but it did nothing for you. Lando had plopped down next to you on the couch with a sigh. You glanced over at him, boredom was written all over him.

"I can't believe I'm saying this but we-"

"Need to get the hell out of this place?" He was already up and putting on his shoes and tossing a pair of yours towards you before you could reply back. You hurried to put yours on as he was already heading towards the door.

"Where are we going?" You asked as you got into his car.

He gave you a small shrug. "Nowhere in particular"

Lando had one hand on the steering wheel and the other was already reaching out for your hand before you guys had even left the parking garage. As you intertwined your fingers with his you used your free hand to pick out some music. Lando always let you choose the music when you guys were in the car together. He did the driving and you were the dj. You liked to tease him that you were a better dj than he ever was, which always earned you some eye rolls.

You hadn't really been paying attention to the time, but by the beautiful pinks and oranges that were painted in the sky, you realized the sun was setting. You didn't mind though, you were having a good time. It had gotten to the point in the car ride though, where your music was just put on shuffle and it was always a fun guessing game to see what would pop up next. The opening chords to Promiscuous by Nelly Furtado and Timbaland came on and Lando was convinced he could sing both parts. By the end of the song both of you were out of breath. Him from trying to do both parts and failing, he couldn't even remember half the words, and you from laughing at him.

Golden hour cascaded through the car and as he laughed along with you he looked so perfect. If you could you would have framed this moment in time, so you would have it with you always.

As you pulled up to a red light he looked over at you a small smile on his face. "You know you're lucky I love you. No one gets away with poking fun at my singing."

Your heart skipped a beat. You guys hadn't said that you loved each other yet, but if you were to pick a moment this would have been a perfect one. You had been wanting to say it to him for awhile now, but once again was too scared to make the first move.

"Well I have never been so honoured than to be loved by the Lando Norris." You teased him.

He scoffed at you. "Oh knock it off."

You rolled your eyes as you leaned over the console. You got as close as you could to his lips without kissing him.

"I love you too." You whispered.

"You better."

His lips closed the gap within seconds, and his hand cupped the side of your face. It didn't last long though as the car behind you guys blared its horn. The two of you were too busy to see that the light had turned green.

"Oops." You laughed as you got situated back in your seat.

"Yeah yeah." Lando grumbled as he sped off.

The whole ride back to your place you couldn't wipe the smile you had off your face. You really were so head over heels in love with him. Looking back you were so glad that you got on that plane to Australia back in March. Who knows what your life would have been like right now if you hadn't. All you knew was that you loved him and you couldn't imagine your life without him.

Fall - how you held me in your arms that september night. the first time you ever saw me cry.

The Japan Grand Prix was this weekend and you were excited to be going. You had always wanted to visit Japan and what a better reason than to be supporting the man you loved. You even decided to fly in early with Lando to maybe go do some sight seeing.

The two of you spent the day exploring all that Japan had to offer. Even if it was just one day the two of you made the most of it. You did all the touristy stuff and between the two of you, a photo album probably could have been filled with all the pictures you took.

You walked hand in hand back to the hotel, feet aching from all the walking you had done today. As soon as you entered your room Lando collapsed onto the bed.

"I'm gonna be so tired for practice tomorrow." He was laying on his back with his hands behind his head. Which in turn caused his shirt to ride up exposing his toned stomach. Something that he knew drove you crazy. You kicked your shoes off and walked to the edge of the bed where he laid, smirking at you. That little shit knew what he was doing. Climbing onto the bed you straddled him, making sure to grind your hips a little as you sat on him. A groan escaped past his lips and now you were the one with a smirk on your face.

"I'm gonna give you something to actually be tired about tomorrow Norris." Your fingers trailed along his exposed skin and up under his shirt. You could feel him shiver under you and knowing the power you had over him always went straight through you. Although, your fun didn't last for long. You felt his hands grip your waist and just like that you were the one on your back as he hovered over you.

"I don't know about that." His voice was smooth and low and you knew you were in for it tonight.

When you awoke the next morning he was already gone for practice and the long night the two of you shared replayed in your head as you got ready for the day. If he thought he was tired last night you could only imagine what he felt like this morning.

The next two days went by pretty fast and before you knew it, it was race day. It had started like any other race day too. Over the past couple months Lando had created some new pre race traditions that included you. They weren't anything crazy, if anything they were super sweet. The one that you always liked was that he wanted you to be the last thing he saw before he got into the car. Now in reality that really wasn't possible he was going to see lots of other people, but he always made sure you were out there when he got into the car. And of course his number one priority, I love you's and good luck kisses.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

The race was almost over and it had been a good one, if Lando could hold his position he'd likely finish P2. There were four laps to go and as you watched the screen closely you saw something that made your blood run cold. You weren't even sure how it happened, but one second Lando's coming towards a left turn and the next his car is flipping.

It felt like everything was happening in slow motion. You could see the team freaking out trying to get in contact with him, but the loud ringing in your ears made the once noisy environment silent. You could feel yourself start to hyperventilate as you saw the red flag being waved on the screen.

You hadn't even realized you were crying until someone from the team came over snapping you out of your trance.

"Is he okay? Please tell me he's ok!"

"We haven't been able to get in contact with him. We think the comms got damaged in the crash. They are working on getting him out now."

The state of his car on the screen made you sick to your stomach. It was all mangled and the longer it took for them to get him out the sicker you felt. The tears just wouldn't stop falling, worst case scenario kept replaying in your mind.

After a couple more painfully long minutes you see what you would call a miracle pop up on the screen. They've gotten Lando out and he's walking. Well walking as best as he can with two people on either side of him, but he's alive. Relieved sighs and thank gods are heard from his team.

You don't even have time to try and collect yourself because within a matter a seconds you're whisked away by someone on the team that you've never met and being shoved into the backseat of a car. "Wait I want to see him! Let me see him!"

"He's already on the way to the hospital. You'll see him there." Before you could respond the door is shut in your face.

Rude.

The drive to the hospital took forever. You were positive you had gotten every red light and to top it off were stuck in standstill traffic at least twice. It seemed like the only thing going fast was your mind. Even though you saw him up, that still didn't mean he couldn't have serious injuries.

The car hadn't even come to a complete stop at the hospital and you were opening the door and hightailing it towards the entrance. Thankfully there was someone from the team waiting for you to arrive, but as you approached them you prepared yourself for the worst.

"Please tell me he's okay." You could feel the tears start to well up again.

As they guided you towards his room they explained his condition. "Overall he's fine. He's pretty banged up, no serious internal injuries or broken bones though. I'd say we all witnessed a miracle today. Thank god for the halos."

They stopped outside a door, the one you assumed Lando was on the other side of. "He's still pretty out of it, but he has been asking for you. So that's a good sign." You glanced at the door, funny how you couldn't wait to see him, but now that the time has finally arrived, you were almost scared to open the door. "Go on." The team member nodded for you to enter the room.

You took a deep breath before slowly opening the door. For some reason you thought, maybe he wouldn't be in there. That this was all just a bad dream, but there he was. He was asleep, his chest slowly rising and falling. The sight of him in the hospital bed and finally processing what happened an hour ago hit you all at once and the tears just wouldn't stop coming. You tried be quiet, the last thing you wanted to do was wake him up. You slipped back out the door as you tried to collect yourself. People walking past gave you concerned glances as you sat against the wall with your head in in your hands.

Once the tears had subsided you quietly entered the room again, but to your surprise he was awake. His eyes lit up when he saw you. "Hi baby." He had reached his hand out to you.

You smiled at the term of endearment and took his hand in yours. Your eyes scanned over him, looking for any serious injuries. He had some scrapes and obvious bruises, but nothing that looked too bad. You seriously didn't know how he got this lucky. "You scared the shit out of me Lan. I thought I had lost you."

There they were again, the tears. You had tried to quickly wipe them away, but Lando had beat you to it. His hand gently cupped your face as he thumb wiped away your tears. "Don't cry. I don't like seeing my girl cry." He whispered.

This in turn made you cry more.

Lando tried to console you. "Baby. I'm fine. I promise. Honestly you can't get rid of me that easily." He patted the slightly empty space next to him in the bed. You were unsure, you didn't want to hurt him or make him uncomfortable. "Come on. I think some love from my love is just what the doctor ordered."

You slowly climbed onto the bed next to him, but as you tried to snuggle in close to him he winced. You immediately sat up, ready to sit in the chair next to the bed. "It's fine. It's fine. I just have some bruised ribs." You gave him a questioning look, like you didn't believe him. "That's all it was. I promise. Now please come here." He tugged on your the hem of your shirt. "I want to hold you."

Somehow the two of you made it work in the small hospital bed, but you still weren't entirely convinced this was a good idea. Although you couldn't lie and say it didn't feel nice to be in his arms. It was the one place where you always felt safe and felt comfort. You traced small designs on his arm, something you knew that brought him peace.

You felt him place a kiss on the top of your head. "I love you."

Hearing him say those three words was something you swore you would never get tired of hearing. You raised your head to look at him, and leaned up to press a kiss to his lips. "I love you more."

The two of you sat in silence for some time before Lando spoke up.

"I've got to ask you something and I need you to be so honest with me."

You rolled your eyes playfully, already knowing what his question was going to be. "Don't worry pretty boy, your face doesn't have a single scratch on it."

He let out a deep sigh. "Oh thank god."

If there was one thing you had learned from being with Lando for these past six months was that there was never a dull moment with him. Even after near death experiences he still knew how to somehow lighten the mood. Although, it was something you were thankful for, because after a day like you had, you truly don't know what you would do if he wasn't in your life.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Winter - then the cold came, the dark days. when fear crept into my mind. you gave me all your love and all i gave you was goodbye

Off season had arrived around a week ago. A time that you had looked forward to for months was finally here and you were miserable. Well, perhaps you weren't miserable, but mentally you were struggling.

It had all started in October, a couple weeks after Lando's crash. An article had gotten spread around that you were cheating on him with Charles. Someone had gotten ahold of a picture of you and Charles leaving from a dinner party. You guys had decided to leave out the back after hearing about all the paparazzi out front. As you guys exited the building you gave Charles a hug goodbye. It wasn't something uncommon between you two, you guys had become close friends over the year.

What the two of you didn't know though is that there was a pap hiding in the back, just hoping for a moment like the one you guys had just given him. The pap had taken the picture at just the right angle and far away enough that it looked like you and Charles were kissing. Did the pap think to take a picture of Lando who was right behind you and Charles? Or take a picture of Charles and Lando saying goodbye? No. All they wanted was a story to sell.

That next morning when you saw the article you couldn't help but laugh and Lando did the same exact thing when you showed him. Although the laughter stopped when you scrolled through Twitter. You had always had a good relationship with the fans, and the media left you alone really up until recently. Sure there were gonna be some fans that just didn't like you. It was just something that came with the territory of dating someone like Lando. It was something that never bothered you, but as you scrolled through Twitter all you saw was hateful tweet after hateful tweet.

You couldn't believe that people actually thought you were cheating on Lando. Gold-digger was used quite frequently in the insulting comments. You just tried to shake it off, people would eventually get over it. Lando and you knew it wasn't true and that was all that mattered. Though the straw that would break the camel's back would come two months later.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Social media hadn't been that bad recently, maybe people were feeling the holiday spirit and had decided to lay off you for a while. As you scrolled through your notifications you noticed had gotten tagged in a tweet a couple times. You figured it was probably just another fake tabloid, but clicked on it anyways.

when's Y/N gonna realize her time with lando is ticking.... he can never make it past 10 months with a girl. probably already scoping out someone new on insta.

the way all his past relationships have ended the same way lmao. it's like he sees that one year anniversary and says i gotta go!

You rolled your eyes as you locked your phone, tossing it next to you on the couch. Why couldn't people just stay out of your relationship?

The more you sat on the couch the more the little gears in your head turned. You had never really asked or did any digging on Lando's past relationships. You never really had a reason to, and you didn't want to compare yourself to some undoubtedly beautiful women. But here you were getting back on your phone and going down the rabbit hole. You didn't want what people were saying to be true, but the more you dug, the more it was confirmed. What a lovely thing to have constantly in the back of your mind now.

Christmas was in almost a week and your birthday not to long after that. You had been trying to just focus on the upcoming holidays and not that little nagging in the back of your head about Lando leaving you. That was easier said than done. He had been distant recently and you just knew what was coming. It broke your heart because you had so looked forward to spending the holidays with him, but it seemed like he was always busy. You gave him the benefit of the doubt when he said he was going to do some extra training during the off season to come back even stronger after his crash, but how much training could you do.

You would text him and not get a response for hours or you would ask him if he wanted to go do something and he was busy training or with his friends already. You wouldn't consider yourself clingy, but the fact that you hadn't seen him once the week leading up to Christmas was causing you to spiral. You shouldn't have been so stupid enough to get involved with someone like Lando. Should have known before you guys even got together that he would get bored of you. Every version of self doubt entered your mind as you sat on the couch staring at the Christmas tree in the corner.

It was Friday December 22nd when you broke your own heart and Lando's.

You've had enough. You were going to break it off. Be done. Rather break it off now on your terms than be blindsided by him. You pulled your phone out to text him.

You: Hey, can you come over today?

For the first time in weeks he responded in a timely manner.

Lan: Yes, I was just about to text you asking If you were going to be home today. I need to talk to you.

There it was. He needed to talk to you.

About and hour later he had shown up. You were in your room putting away some laundry when you heard him clear his throat from behind you. You took a second to compose yourself before turning around to look at him.

"Hey." You said softly.

"Hey."

You sat down on the edge of your bed, you weren't sure how you should go about this. You felt sick to your stomach, was this the right thing to do? You were about to ruin the best thing that ever happened to you.

When Lando sat down next to you you felt like all the air in the room had disappeared.

He shifted his body to face you and took your hands in his. Here it comes you thought.

"So I-"

As soon as he began to speak you cut him off.

"We should break up."

His eyebrows furrowed and have you a confused look. "Sorry. What?"

"I'm breaking up with you." You swallowed thickly, you could feel that familiar lump forming in your throat. You couldn't read his face at all, it was almost like he was emotionless. Your looked down at your still intertwined hands. "I'm breaking up with you Lan. I know you're bored of me. So it's better to just get it over with now. I know that's why you came over today." You pulled your hands away from his.

His eyes shifted down to his now empty hands, then back up to your eyes. Shaking his head as he got up from your bed, he felt like his heart was being ripped out of his chest. "What are you talking about 'that's why I came over today?'"

"Don't play dumb Lan, I-"

He scoffed. "You don't get to call me that as you're breaking my fucking heart."

You felt the first tear slide down you cheek. "I know about all your past relationships. How you can't stay with someone for longer than ten months. You get bored and you were clearly getting bored with me."

He threw his hands up in the arm, he was getting mad. "Why would I be getting bored of you? And what does my past relationships have to do with US?"

"People on twitter-"

His face was red and he was talking (yelling) with his hands. "Oh my god! Here we go! I told you, especially after the Charles thing to just stay clear of social media. All they do is get into your head!"

Now you were up, voice rising to match his. This wasn't going to end pretty. "Well sorry I didn't have my boyfriend here to reassure me. To tell me that it wasn't true! Christmas is in three goddamn days and I've barely seen you!" You were sure to be getting a noise complaint later.

"I've been busy!"

Your arms were now crossed. "Busy finding someone new?"

Lando thought his head was going to explode. Where the hell has all this come from? "Jesus Christ! I haven't been cheating on you! All that shit on twitter is just stuff to try and get between us. Which it clearly did it's job."

The tears were falling pretty steadily by now and you could see Lando wipe away a few of his own. "If you weren't cheating or planning on leaving me than what were you doing? What was so important that you couldn't barely be bothered to see me recently?"

He threw his hands up in defeat. "It was a fucking surprise! I had came over today to tell you, I couldn't keep it a secret any longer. I planned an early birthday surprise dinner for you tomorrow and at the party I was going to give you your gift that I had been working out too. That's why I had been so distant. I didn't want to ruin something I had worked so hard on."

Lando had sat back down on you bed, his head in his hands. You just stood there, flabbergasted. How could you be so fucking stupid? You had just ruined the best thing in your life over some stupid doubts.

"What was the gift?" You asked softly.

"Two weeks in Italy. We'd leave the day after Christmas. Spend your birthday in paradise." He looked you dead in the eye. "Only the best for the love of my life."

You felt like you couldn't breathe. What the fuck did you just do? You knew there was no coming back from this.

"Why didn't you just come to me about your doubts?" Lando asked.

You shrugged. "The seed was already so deeply planted and you weren't coming around even when I asked."

"Yeah, well maybe if you would have stayed off social media this wouldn't have happened." He was back to be shitty and that meant so were you.

"Well maybe I'm glad I didn't. So now I don't have to deal with people hating me for just loving you. Or people constantly invading my private life. I want to be free to do whatever I want! Without worrying if it will tarnish your image or create drama!"

His eyes narrowed at you, you clearly struck a nerve. "You're unbelievable you know that? I loved you with all my fucking heart and I can't help that what I do for a living puts the people I love in the public eye! I tried to protect you from it, believe me I did. So I'm sorry for being a burden on your freedom." You had never seen him so mad before, so hurt. It hurt you even more knowing you were the one who caused it.

His words stung, you didn't mean for what you said to come out that way. "Lan-" He had started to walk out of your room and you tried to grab his arm, but he just yanked it away from you.

"No, please, go enjoy your new found freedom."

Seconds later your apartment door slams shut and your left standing in your room a heartbroken idiot. That night was filled with many tears, a bottle of wine, a long facetime call to your best friend, and some more tears as your scrolled through pictures of the two of you on your phone.

The next morning hit you like a freight train. Your head was pounding you weren't sure if it was from the wine or the sobbing, probably a combination of both. You shuffled to the living room and stopped in your tracks when you noticed the bouquet of roses on the coffee table. You picked up the notecard and the crying started all over again as you read it.

For my love, Happy early birthday baby! I love you more than you'll ever know. I don't know how I got so lucky to have someone like you in my life. You're my best friend, my number 1 supporter, and the best girlfriend I could ever ask for. -Love Lando

God, you had fucked up so badly. How could you ever think a man so in love with you like he was, was planning on leaving you? The part that hurt the most was that you still loved him. You loved him so much it made you sick. You only did what you did to protect yourself and look at where it got you. A broken heart that you were sure was beyond fixable. The only person who would be able to fix it, just had his broken by you. Maybe you should quit your day job and just become a professional heartbreaker, it was something you were clearly good at.

Christmas and your birthday were beyond shitty that year and the roses he gave you had died on your birthday, how fitting you had thought. After the holidays is when you fell into your self loathe spiral that had been going on for three months now. You thought back to December all the time. How you wished you could fix things, but you had never thought that was a possibility until you saw Lando at that party.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Present

You still nervously picked at your fingernails, you wanted to badly to try and make things right, or at least tell him you were sorry. Fuck it you thought. You swallowed your pride and turned towards him to speak.

"I'm sorry about that day Lando." There was no comment from him, so you just kept going and once you started you couldn't stop. "I think about it all the time. I wish I could turn back time, and somehow change my mind or at least change what happened. I would have came to you with my doubts or when you came over that day I would have let you speak and not interrupted you."

Still no response from him, he just watched you intently. "And to answer your question earlier about my freedom... it's just been filled with missing you."

You took a deep breath before continuing to speak. "I still love you, and I know you probably hate me. And this is me just wishfully thinking, but I hope you would give me a second chance in the future. I know you didn't deserve what I put you through. I'm sorry, so sorry."

Your heart was beating so fast and you felt like you could throw up. You prayed he felt the same way and he would hold you in his arms and tell you that it was ok. That things could go back to the way they were before you fucked everything up, but that only happens in fairy tales or romance movies. Two things your life is not.

Lando sighed, took one final swig of his beer, and got up off the lounge chair. And for the second time, you watched him walk out of your life.

[demonsslayersstuff]

Male Hashira x Reader (How They Apologize)

A/N: I’m back with one of my fav things to write! This one took a little longer than I planned, but life is getting busy. My plan is to get the Nanami fic out next week. As always thanks for the support! Have a great rest of the week/ weekend!

Description: Head cannons on how the Male Hashira apologize to the reader after a fight.

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, slight smut with Sanemi’s (I couldn’t contain myself with that man). Reader is written gender neutral for all!

Kyojuro Rengoku:

Hates that he hurt you, to him it’s the worst feeling in the world, he swore to protect you and make you happy and ultimately failed to do so.

Immediately apologizes, but gives you space. As much as it pains him to be apart from you, he understands the need for space and respects that

When the two of you are ready to talk and apologize, he’s immediately pulling you into a tight embrace and keeping you there for a while. Gives you kisses all over your face and plans some alone time for just the two of you

Rengoku is not one to get you a gift after a fight, he’s going to focus on quality time and having a conversation to clear the air. Communication is key!

You watch as Rengoku comes into the kitchen, guilty expression splayed across his face. It had been a few hours since you’d asked him for some space after a particularly nasty spat, though now that you had time to think and calm down, the fight seemed to be over nothing of importance. “Can we talk?”, Rengoku asks as he comes to sit at the small table that you yourself were sitting at. You nod your head, gesturing for him to speak to you. “I’m so sorry. I let my anger get the best of me and I should have not said those things. I want you to know that I didn’t mean any of it”, the fiery man says, his eyes finding yours. “I accept your apology and I’m sorry as well, I over reacted and I shouldn’t have lashed out at you either”, you respond, sincerity in words. Rengoku reaches his hand out towards you and you grasp it, squeezing it gently. “Let’s make it up to each other by cooking dinner together, how does that sound?”, he asks with a smile. “Let’s do it”, you respond excitedly and for now you knew things would be ok between the two of you.

Uzui Tengen:

Being in a large family unit, squabbles are a common occurrence between and Tengen and his partners as we have seen in the show/ manga. For the most part the issues simmer down and life moves on

If things get fairly tense I see his wives picking sides and this turns things into a bigger mess. Tengen hates when things get this bad and often keeps his distance; allowing you and his wives to calm down and what not

I see there being a little group therapy session when all of you are ready to talk. For some reason I see Hinasturu taking charge of that, she gives me peace keeper vibes. Regardless issues get aired and things will go back to normal

I see Tengen being the type to bring you flowers or a small gift to start his apology. However, he is sincere, if he fucked up he’s going to make sure you know he really is sorry and will do his best to get back onto your good side

“Get in there and apologize”, you hear Hinasturu say with a commanding voice. For the past day you’ve been hiding in your room, only going out to eat quickly and quietly before slipping back into the room. After your fight with Tengen you were on your avoidance, path. You knew it was childish, but you didn’t care, you weren’t going to speak until he’d apologized first. “And give them the flowers”, you hear Makio add. “Ok ok”, Tengen grumbles, before he moves to knock on the door. “Let me in so we can talk please”, he says quietly. You open the door, letting the hulking man into the room. Once the door shuts he starts talking. “Listen I’m really really sorry for what happened. I was not in a great head space when we argued and the others made me realize I was acting like a dick”, he rambles before holding out the flowers towards you. You take them, laying them down on your beside table before launching yourself in his arms. You wrap your arms tightly around his waist before looking up at him. “I accept your apology, in the future let’s work on the words we say to each other, especially in the heat of anger”, you tell him. “I know, I really am sorry”, he mumbles before hugging you tightly to his chest.

Giyuu Tomioka

Even though Giyuu tends to be more closed off, with his partner I see him working really hard to not have fights or arguments with you. However, these things happen in most relationships, so when you do fight, it hurts him

If he is in the wrong I could see him asking you what you want. If you space he’s immediately giving it to you, an apology already done. He’s going to do what you want to do

Similar to Rengoku I see Giyuu being more focused on having quality time with you post an argument. He’s not one to give you gifts, but a hug and a few kisses he’ll do

I feel like Giyuu would be one to do small acts of services as an apology. He’ll make you your favorite drink, wrap you up in a blanket. He’s not one to be outwardly confrontational, but he’ll do the behind the scenes stuff to show you he still loves you, no matter what

You wake up warmer than you expected from your nap. You look down to see that someone, most likely your partner, had covered you up with a blanket. You smile a little, knowing that even though the two of had a rare argument, Giyuu was still looking out for you. “Yu?”, you call, using the playful nickname you gave him a long time ago at the beginning of your relationship. You hear the creaks of the floorboards as he walks towards the bedroom. You register his dark hair first before his ocean blue eyes come into view, soft and hesitant. “Can we talk?”, you ask him, shuffling on the bed to make space for him. “Of course”, he murmurs before walking towards and plopping down on the soft mattress. “I’m sorry for shutting you out like that Giyuu, that was immature and not fair to you”, you tell him, cheeks flushing pink with shame. “I’m sorry to, I shouldn’t have yelled at you, I let my emotions get the best of me”, he responds, voice calm and even. You reach your hand out, softly cupping his cheek before you lean your forehead against his. “I hate fighting with you”, you mumble, relaxing as he pulls you closer. “Let’s try to not do that again”, he tells you, moving back slightly to look at your face. “Kiss me”, you whisper as you look into his eyes and as his lips connect with yours, any lingering pain or anger dissipates as you find your way back to each other.

Sanemi Shinazugawa:

This man has a lot of anger issues, so arguments are not uncommon in this relationship. Though Sanemi tries to not fight with you, his temper gets a hold of him sometimes

For the most part when fights break out you’ve learned to just let him get his anger out, he never means most of the stuff he says, so you often give him space. He goes to do training with other Hashira's to help him release the anger while you get the home to your self, a win win situation

When it comes to apologizing Sanemi is a flustered mess. As much as he hates it, he knows it’s the mature thing to do. Personally I really see make up sex being his go to, like I find Sanemi to be very passionate, so after a verbal apology he’s apologizing in other ways

Once the argument is over, most of the other Hashira and Corps members know they won’t be seeing you for a bit. One thing the two of you like about arguing is knowing how hot and heavy the make up sex is going to beeeeee

You let out a sharp gasp as your back connects to the wood wall of your shared bedroom. Before you even have time to make a coherent statement, Sanemi’s lips are on yours, devouring you in a deep passionate kiss. Your clothes are swiftly removed before he grabs the back of your thighs, holding you against the wall as your legs wrap around his waist. “M’fucking sorry, let me, fuck, let me make it up to you”, he huffs out, lips puffy from the intensity of the kiss. You squeeze his shoulders slightly, staring into his plum colored eyes as you catch your breath. “What’s stopping you”, you quip, rolling your hips slightly, causing a brief but electrifying heat in the area your bodies were connected. Before you know it you find yourself being flung down onto the bed, the wall now a distant memory as Sanemi stares down at you with hungry eyes. “I’m not letting you out of this bed until the sun rises”, he says, voice thick with desire. And as his body covers yours you knew you were in for a long night.

Iguro Obanai:

Hates fighting with you, if he feels an argument brewing he will do everything in his power to stop it from happening. However when the two of you are unable to stop a fight, it hits him hard

He had a rough childhood so you being angry at him brings up some past traumas and it can be difficult for him to handle at times. He knows deep down that you don’t hate him, but the anxiety is there

After an argument I really think that you’ll have to be the one to reach out. He doesn’t want to upset you further, so you’ll have to be the one to break the ice. He’ll be happy to see you and want to discuss the situation in a mature manner so that way it doesn’t happen again

I do see Obanai being someone who would probably get their partner a bouquet of flowers as a peace offering post fight, to let them know that he is thinking about them

“Obi”, you call as you step out into the garden, looking for the Snake Hashira who was in no doubt out here with his snake. You walk along the familiar path towards the big tree in the middle, your shoes crunching with each step from the fallen leaves. As you get closer, you see him sitting underneath the tree, so you call his name softly, watching as his eyes widen when he hears your voice, body turning to face you. “Can we talk?”, you ask him as you get closer to him. “Of course, if that’s what you want”, he responds, his multi-colored eyes watching your face carefully. “I’m really sorry, it was unfair for me to yell at you like that”, you tell him as you move to sit down next to him. “I want to apologize too, I should have never done that, without talking to you first”, Obanai tells you. You reach out and grab his hands, seeing his fingers tremble slightly. “I know, but it was still unfair for me to react the way I did, I am truly sorry Iguro. Will you forgive me?”, you question softly. “Of course, and I do accept your apology”, he responds, squeezing your hand reassuringly. The two of you spend the rest of the afternoon talking in the garden, the fight long forgotten by the end of the day.

Gyomei Himejima:

Honestly I don’t see many arguments happening with this guy. Gyomei definitely fits the gentle giant description, though as we have seen, he had no problem taking care of business like the badass he is

Anyway I don’t see you having bad fights, but what I do see happening is Gyomei not listening to your side of the story sometimes. As the de facto leader, it’s his way or the highway at times and that’s what causes an occasional fight

Gyomei would definitely be upset once he realizes he hurt your feelings (unintentionally in his mind) and would want to immediately clear the air between the two of you, but isn’t going to force you to do something you don’t want to do

I see big bear hugs as his silent apology. Be prepared to be scooped up into a tight but loving hug. Once the two of you apologize, things go back to normal fairly quickly, but for the next few days I see him being a bit more attentive to your wants and needs

You feel his large hands grip your waist softly as he comes to stand behind you in the kitchen. “Himejima”, you warn, but he doesn’t listen, he just spins you around so that way your bodies are facing each other. The dishes in the sink get long forgotten as the Stone Hashira moves his arms to wrap you in a tight embrace. “I’m sorry love, I didn’t mean to ignore your advice”, he starts, his deep voice soothing. “I know I need to get better at that, but I hate not talking to you”, he continues as your face nestles into his strong chest. “I just hate when you completely disregard what I say at times”, you tell him, pain still evident in your voice. “I am sorry and I promise I will work on it”, he responds before slowly releasing his hold on you. “I accept your apology”, you tell him with a gentle sigh, your fingers brushing against his own. “Thank you”, he murmurs, leaning down to kiss you softly.

[keiths-haircare-routine]

So I think at the beginning of their relationship, Lance insists on doing all the cooking because “You were living in the middle of the desert for a year, dude, your idea of a hearty dinner is probably like… I dunno, a fried gecko garnished with some sand or something!”

(And okay, Keith’s never resorted to eating sand, but there was that one time when food was scarce enough that he’d resorted to catching a lizard climbing up his wall and putting it to a quick death with his knife. And he had to admit it wasn’t half bad. Not that he particularly enjoyed putting an animal to death. And not that he’d ever tell Lance that, obviously.)

But Keith’s got no real reason to complain, really. Lance is no Hunk in the kitchen, but his skills have been honed by years of having to help his mother out with the stove, and sitting on the countertop yapping while Hunk found ways to make food goo more appetizing. He’s pretty great.

Lance cooks them warm, steaming plates of ropa vieja and picadillo and arroz con pollo. Lance cooks them croquetas for breakfast and sweet arroz con leche for dessert. Keith grumpily sits on the countertop and huffs in annoyance as Lance bats his hand away every time he tries to help out.

Then one day, Lance falls sick.

And obviously, he’s a baby about it, griping and groaning and insisting that he’s dying despite Keith groaning that his temperature hasn’t even breached 100 F.

Lance keeps insisting that he’s too sick to do chores or even move, really.

So sick, in fact, that when Keith asks if that means he’ll have to be the one to cook lunch, Lance just moans and buries himself further under the covers.

Keith bites back a grin and heads into the kitchen.

It isn’t until an hour later that Lance gains enough awareness to process what Keith had said.

“Wait, no! Mmph!” Lance stumbles in his rush to get out of the bed and his foot is snagged by the blanket. He quickly pulls himself up and makes a mad sprint into the kitchen like both their lives depend on it.

(Because they do, they very much do, Lance thinks.)

“Keith! My buddy, my man, hold on a sec! You don’t have to do this! I can call Hunk and ask him really nicely!” Crap, Hunk’s out catering in space. “Wait, no, I’ll just call Pidge, ask her to make us a robot-” Shoot, no, she’s visiting family in New York. “Alright, we can order out o- or- fuck! I’ll just do it. I’ll make us lunch, I- woah!”

Lance catches himself at the last second before he runs straight into Keith.

Keith, who is standing in front of him with an entirely too smug expression on his face, holding two bowls.

Bowls that smell suspiciously good.

Lance narrows his eyes. “What is this?”

“I made soup,” Keith says, placing a bowl in Lance’s hands. The latter tenses; neither Keith’s too-sweet smile nor the gaze steadily trained on Lance have wavered once.

Lance looks down at the bowl in his hands. It smells good, warm and savory. Looks good too- dark orange with bits of meat, tofu and vegetables floating in the broth.

“… You know you’re supposed to drink it, right? Not just stare? Did the cold mess up your head that badly?”

“Shut up, mullet, I’m savouring them.”

“Savouring what? The soup? Because from here it just looks like you’re doing a whole lot of nothing.”

“My last few moments on Earth before I drink this soup and the poison kicks in.”

Keith scowls. “I wouldn’t poison your soup.”

“Could’ve fooled me.”

“Why would I want to kill you, Lance? We are literally dating.”

“Semantics,” Lance waves off before staring dismally into his soup again. Eventually, he works up the courage to walk over to a drawer and fish out a spoon. Gulping, he scoops some up and swallows it down.

Nearly chokes. Braces his hand against the countertop.

“Holy shit.”

Keith braces himself against the counter beside him with the type of smirk he’d get after piloting Red through black holes and asteroid belts that would leave the other paladins in splinters while he barely broke a sweat.

It turns out Keith’s no slouch in the kitchen either.

Keith had microwaved grilled cheese sandwiches and instant ramen for his dad to come home to after those long graveyard shifts he’d been saddled up with. He had swung his little legs on the countertop as his dad chopped up vegetables and explained the recipe with a relaxed tone and a dry sense of humor. He’d had to help out with meal times in all those foster homes and orphanages he’d been thrown into.

Keith had spent a year in the desert, recalling his dad’s instructions and swallowing down his remorse before getting to work. Instructions on how to make Texan classics such as chili and breakfast tacos and brisket. Instructions on how to make foods from back in Korea, such as kimbap and japchae and sundubu-jjigae, which he had served Lance just now.

(Lance sneaks a glance at the bowl in his hands before turning back to Keith as he continued his story)

In those two years on that space whale, Keith and Krolia had to improvise greatly, boiling and steaming nearby vegetations and moss. Roasting these little floaty creatures that neither he nor she knew the name of, cute enough that Keith almost felt bad eating them until his stomach rumbled in complaint.

And after he’d settled in Daibazaal post-war, Keith was greeted with foods and tastes he’d never even imagined before. He’d adapted just the same. He’d chopped up thryx the same way he’d chopped up kale and asparagus just minutes prior. He’d learned to make this dish called boiled nox that tasted absolutely awful if not made exactly right.

“And then we moved in together and I couldn’t exactly get a lot of cooking done after,” Keith finishes, tilting his head and leveling Lance with a playful smirk.

“Fine,” Lance says, having finished his soup throughout the course of the story. “You win. I’m sorry. You can help out in the kitchen on one condition.”

“Yeah?”

“You promise to make more of this stuff. Babe, this is so good, I think it single-handedly cured my ailment-”

Keith rolls his eyes, a fond smile tugging at his lips.

So now sometimes they cook chicharrón and pasteles, but sometimes they cook seolleongtang and galbi too. Now Keith will chop up vegetables as fast as he can as Lance will throw them in as quick as he’s able to without getting burned and the two will make a game out of it. Now Keith and Lance will try and fail to make boiled knox and force the unsuccessful attempt down their throats before violently hurling into the toilet an hour later.

Now the two of them will cook together.

[aimedis]

redacted asmr headcanons pt. 6

-angel definitely has one of those shirts that says ‘angel’ on it

-asher calls baabe sexy on a regular basis

-lasko has a super bad fear of horror films and games (will start crying)

-the pack played fnaf once and all you could hear was screaming from milo, tank, and asher and laughter from angel, sam and sweetheart (david and baabe literally almost fell asleep on each other) 

-lovely makes vincent tea and reads to him when he’s sad (*being pouty) 

-angel used to have an eating disorder (still reverts to old habits sometimes but is recovered) ((when they struggle with eating, david holds their hand and talks them through it))

-freelancer speaks french and makes fun of damien (in french) for being so poor at it all the time ((damien: "bro shut up?" freelancer: "do you know how to say that in french, huh?")) -(damien and freelancer are so siblings coded)

-darlin’ and sam slow dance around the house all the time (in the kitchen when sam’s cooking, in their bedroom right before they go to sleep, after they wake up, in the hallways etc.)

-freelancer is really good at acting like they’re sad when the boys tease them so they (huxley and dear) feel bad ((they just have to pout once and curl into themselves before huxley is hugging them and making the others apologize)) -(they're the youngest in the group so they get teased a lot) 

-sweetheart isn’t particularly known for taking care of themselves and whenever they complain about any health issue they’re having, david is quick to point that out (sweetheart: “my stomach hurts” david: “your stomach hurts because you don’t eat properly at the proper times or-“ sweetheart: “shut the actual fuck up david, I didn’t ask”)

-damien is such a shithead to everyone, even huxley and sometimes he forgets that huxley is shameless when talking back or “returning the energy” to people. damien will poke fun at him and act surprised when huxley starts attacking (tickling) him

-asher has a fear of needles but he got a tattoo in memory of gabe

-sam cried in darlin’s arms for hours after the inversion

-after the inversion, david flat out refused to let asher out of his sight until he was at home safe with his mate (drove him home when they couldn't pick him up, even when asher insisted he could drive himself home)

bonus +

-darlin’ is the only one who calls sam “samuel” 

-I just know kody reeks

-at random moments angel and asher would just be like “i can’t wait to get married” with little smitten smiles on their faces even before they got engaged (it’s too cute for anyone to give them shit for it) 

-asher's big sister was his favorite person for years (she's tied with david for second favourite after baabe) ((david sees her as the sister he never had)) -(think of asher and madelyn as the "i'm a big dog, i do big dog shit" older/younger sibling audio on tiktok)

[monsterswithimagines]

Undisclosed Desires- Part 3

Joe Goldberg x female!Reader

Summary: Twenty minutes before he would have met Guinevere Beck, Joe meets you instead. You intruige him, but it will soon become clear that there is something off about you.

Words: 821

Masterlist

It’s been three days, and you still haven't texted me.

I have to admit, (Y/n), it's not your best quality. This thing you do where you just disappear for days on end. I have no way to reach you, no way to find you. I have no idea what you're up to at all. You could be doing anything, with anyone. Anything could be done to you.

And I'm beginning to believe you may have changed your mind.

Then, sweet relief: you text me.

YOU: ok, you were right

YOU: not creepy

YOU: just disgusting.

I don't answer right away. I want to, but you've made me wait for three days, and I don't want to make you think I've spent that time glued to my phone. Besides, I'm working. It’s unusually busy at Mooney’s today, for a Thursday.

After work, I pick up a sandwich at a Deli I like. It's not much in the way of dinner, but it'll have to do. I'm not in the mood to wait around for someone to cook for me. I want to get home as soon as possible, to start a conversation with you.

Paco is sitting on the steps outside my apartment, though, when I get there. Inside his home I hear slamming and shouting. Paco's got his nose hidden behind a book like it will keep the world out.

“You liking that?” I ask him, doing my best not to flinch at a particularly loud clash.

“It's good,” Paco answers.

It's Moby Dick, a book I gave him. Paco's an advanced reader, for his age. I love when kids are interested in books.

We talk for a little bit, and it becomes clear to me that nobody has bothered to make Paco any dinner. I give him my sandwich. I'll just go without tonight. Somebody needs to make sure this kid eats, and his parents - or rather, his mother and the scumbag she allows around her son - sure aren't doing it.

You would want me to give him food.

Finally, I go inside. I want to take a shower. I want to eat something.

I want to talk to you.

I flop down on my couch and take out my phone.

ME: That bad, huh?

YOU: oh no. i loved it

An immediate answer. This is good. You've been waiting for me to respond.

And of course, I already knew you loved the book. You gave it five stars on Goodreads last night. The only way I can even vaguely guess at what you're doing is through your meticulous tracking of your reading habits.

ME: Good to know.

You spend a moment typing, but then you stop. You don't know what to say, and I understand why. We're strangers. I don't really know what to say to you, either. But I want us to keep talking.

ME: So, since you're in the market for a new book, can I expect to see you again soon?

YOU: definitely.

YOU: gonna need to come by and get something new to read

YOU: any recommendations?

ME: That depends. What's your favorite book?

You don't answer right away. Maybe you're thinking. Or maybe you're making dinner right now, or eating it.

YOU: idk. i have several

ME: Favorite books, then

YOU: well american gods is my all time top tier number one book

I take it that means ‘favorite’.

YOU: but there's also the invisible life of addie larue, the secret history, the raven boys, anything stephen king…

YOU: and yes i know most of these are for teenagers. sue me

I haven't read any of these books, except a couple of Stephen King books. I'll have to remedy that. Someone's favorite book says a lot about them, and I want to know everything there is to know about you.

ME: …So, favorite genre?

YOU: probably mystery

Mystery. I can see that. You’d like a mystery; something to solve. You don’t want life to be too easy, you’ve already proven that by moving all the way to America from The Netherlands. I want to ask you about that, to figure out what made you decide on such a big change, but I don’t want to ask too much too fast. If you don’t want easy, I can’t seem too interested.

ME: Okay… Mystery. Little by Edward Carey.

YOU: what’s it about?

You don’t read back covers. You don’t want to know too much.

ME: Madame Tussaud

YOU: like from the museum?

YOU: colour me intrigued

ME: I’ll keep it aside for you.

YOU: tx!

You don’t text again after that, and I decide not to, either. Instead I try to look you up on Instagram again, but you’re still on private. You don’t want me to see too much of you.

You’re kind of mysterious, yourself, I’m beginning to realise.

How do I get close to you if you won’t let me near?

[billspaid]

By the fire

“I know you’re flirting with me Frank.” Mel says, looking out at the small fire in front of them.

A few of them were gathered at Samira’s for a small July 4th Party, which also marked a year since Langdon returned to work.

She inadvertently kne that she'd been a small helping hand in his recovery and during those first few rocky months, she was a shoulder to lean on. Since then though, they'd become friends, best friends even. The kind of relationship that Mel never saw coming but loves just the same. He was probably the most important person in her life aside from Becca, but admitting that to herself felt terrifying in a monumental way.

Anyway, they had become each other's anchors over the past year, sharing every victory and every sorrow, every parenting

highlight and every breakdown. It's why when Mel realised he was flirting with her, *really* realised, she didn't have it in her heart to call him out on it, or stop him.

She's not really sure how long it had been going on, probably a lot longer than she realised, but over the last few months, it was becoming more and more clear that he was trying to get under her skin. And he was succeeding.

It started like it so often did, with small gestures, little quips about her attempts at cooking or leaning over her shoulder to take a look at a chart, especially when he really could just stand next to her. Getting on Becca's good side and teasing Mel with a smirk that would make her pulse race.

But then it got more intense and Mel would find herself giving in, actively engaging in it despite knowing that it probably isn't for the best. She would innocuously run her hand through his hair whilst they'd sit on his couch, watching lilo and stitch reruns with his kids - Mel's idea - and she would revel in it when he'd eventually reduce down to putty in her hands. He'd goad her into telling him about her old boyfriends, until she'd say something particularly racy leaving them both flustered. She'd ask him if he'd been with anyone since Abby, despite them both knowing the answer is no. She just wanted to hear him say it .

But as much as their flirting became more of a regular thing, the shared domesticity of their lives grew too. It helped that Becca loved spending time with his kids, helped that Tanner was completely enamoured with Mel, that Frank had become an emergency contact for Becca after Mel got stuck at a particularly bad shift.

What sealed it for Mel, what really got her to step back and re-evaluate it their relationship was what happened a week ago, when they had fallen asleep on his couch. They were on night shift, still adjusting to the time difference when a daycare reported a gas leak. They stayed 3 extra hours and collapsed on the couch before they could get another word in.

She's not sure when they woke up, but she could feel Frank's hand gently rubbing up and down her arm, coaxing her. "Mel. Mel Honey, come on, let's get to bed." And she did. She walked into his room, not bothering to peel her scrubs off as she climbed into his bed, dropping her head against the pillow. She distantly heard him do the same and felt a warm, comforting weight ground her as his arm slipped around her waist. He was snoring within the minute.

Mel would've been too, if the realisation that she's in Frank's bed for the first time didn't hit her like a train. They hadn't done anything like this before - never had any excuse to. And the actual sleeping together part aside, she was more shocked at how willingly she just followed him. Like the bed was theirs to share.

She eventually fell asleep, too tired to think about what it meant and since then, she has been avoiding him slightly. Until tonight.

When she insisted he come to the party. A little celebration for him too. So the 10, 11 of them squeezed into Samira's tiny square shaped backyard, if it could even legally constitute at such and watched the fireworks go off. Whitiker, always a man of surprise, lit a small fire whilst Donnie and Mateo tried their hand at a disposable bbq.

It was later in the evening, half had filtered out and Mel had stayed, well, because Langdon had. The fire was dwindling slightly and the few that were left were trying to figure out how to light the few stick of dynamites, courtesy of Santos.

They were on the other side of the garden, and Mel had spoken so quietly, so casually, it's no surprise Frank looks up, frowning in confusion as he mumbles, "What?"

"I know you're flirting with me" She repeats, shifting her eyes to get a quick glance at him.

He makes an odd face, like he's just been caught doing something that he himself isn't sure is right or wrong. Mel smiles gently, curling her arms around her knees as she looks out onto the fire.

"And I know you know I do it back. Have been, probably longer than I've realised."

Frank doesn't reply to her but she understands that. So much of his recovery has been laced with self-doubt, the fear of saying or doing the wrong thing . It makes her uneasy sometimes but in this case she expects it.

"I just," she pauses, pushing her glasses up on her face. "I'm not sure it's a great idea exploring that, right now.” As many times as she's practised this in the mirror, saying it in real time makes her feel queasy.

Makes her feel even worse when Frank replies hoarsely, "Okay." He sounds so unsure when he says it, like he strictly disagrees with his reply.

Mel turns to look at him. "I didn't say ever, Frank, I just said right now." She adds with a smile in her voice. He looks up at her, brows furrowed gently like he's trying to gauge her.

She angles her body towards him before looking over her shoulder, making sure the others aren't listening in.

Mel takes a deep breath. "I think I'm quite selfish because you're always going to be someone that I want. Need, more like."

Frank stares at Mel, frozen completely as if the slightest movement might scare her off. She's not so sure it won't.

"And I know we're going to fall into each other. I know that, I believe that." She continues, swallowing hard. "But I don't want to rush into this. You've only been divorced 6 months, You've barely moved into your new place."

Frank purses his lips in a way that makes Mel believe he understands her.

"And I think we've got some growing to do. I want your sobriety to depend on you, not me, not your kids, not your job. And I need to figure out how to have the things I want in a way that doesn't entirely overwhelm me."

Frank lets out a shaky breath.

"So I think we should give it some time." Mel says, biting the inside of her lips. "Cause I want this, Frank. I want you. But it's gotta last. It's gotta be it. I-I can't imagine doing *this* with anyone else." She shudders, chest heaving slightly.

Frank nods carefully.

Mel finally catches his gaze, flashing him a weak smile that he mirrors gently. A sudden bang pulls them away from their moment and Mel looks over her shoulder at the others. When she turns back, Frank is looking at her incredulously.

"Mel?" He says, quietly. So quietly.

"Hm?"

"When will we know it's the right time?"

Mel's face splits into a soft smile. "I'm not sure. I think we'll just know. It'll feel right, like we're just falling into it." She glances at him. "Against my better judgement, it will probably be sooner than later."

[coffeeailee]

Hello!! I was wondering if you could make some headcanons for Sigma, Fyodor and Lovecraft with a very "masculine" fem reader... They're dating but she's usually the one wearing the pants in the relationship and the taller one, stronger too!

———﹒♡﹒ My universe, my everything.

characters﹒ Sigma, Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Howard Philips Lovecraft.

fandom﹒ bungo stray dogs

genre﹒ fluff, romance

This post might contain incorrect grammar/spelling and out of character, it also might be a little bit too cringe, proceed at your own risk.

— ﹒﹒ Sigma ☆

— Sigma is a man who seeks stability and reassurance; hence, I feel like he would feel very comforted to have somebody strong and confident by his side. Your taller height and commanding demeanor would be like a shield to him tbh, particularly when anxious or unsure.

— Privately, Sigma would be in quiet awe of how capable you are, he'd be constantly watching in wonder as you handle situations with ease, never to outwardly say such a thing. His actions would betray this, however, such as helping you when he doesn't need to.

— Fairness in a relationship is what Sigma seeks, so he would respect your strength but would still want to try to contribute in his own way. He may insist on cooking small meals or just getting organized to prove to you that he can be of service too.

— I think Sigma would struggle a bit with the attention you attract from others; your height and confidence would naturally draw eyes. He wouldn't get jealous but might feel insecure, often wondering, Why would someone like you even choose me?

— On bad days, Sigma retreats a bit, thinking you are worth someone much stronger. If you had caught his mood, in one split second he'd brush it off, saying something like, "I was just... thinking. That's all." He won't admit to feelings of inadequacy, but your reassurance definitely would mean the world to him.

— Insecure as he is, Sigma would have these moments of silent pride when you're together. He'd smile faintly when you stood up for him or dealt with some problem with ease and thought, That's my partner.

— ﹒﹒ Fyodor ☆

— I feel that Fyodor would find your strength fascinating but show it rarely. He'd make those random cryptic remarks about it, like, "Strength is often misunderstood. Yours is... unusual, but not unwelcome."

— Fyodor appreciates brains and strategy more than he does brawn, and for that reason, your physical prowess would not intimidate him but be viewed by him as quite useful for his plans. He often says things like: "It's good to have someone reliable for certain tasks."

— I imagine he'd test you subtly, observing how you handle difficult situations to gauge your capabilities. If you impressed him, he'd give a small, approving nod but wouldn't praise you openly, it's just not his style.

— He'd quietly enjoy other people's reactions to your dynamic, for instance, people underestimating you because of your gender or appearance and getting proved wrong, he'd find it darkly amusing and maybe even tease you about it later.

— In the manner he does seem to have reserved calmness about him, at moments when I'd have thought Fyodor would simply revel in watching you take charge, with that slight smile sit back and later say, "You're quite efficient. Perhaps too efficient."

— Fyodor's not one who gets ruffled easily, but I think he'd have moments of surprise when you show affection in your own strong, commanding way-say, pulling him into a hug or messing up his hair. He'd freeze up for a second before softly muttering, "You're absolutely insufferable." But you know that he'd be secretly into it.

— ﹒﹒ Lovecraft ☆

— Lovecraft is pretty indifferent to social norms, so I feel like your height, strength, or "masculine" traits wouldn't even register to him as unusual. To him, you're simply you, and that's all that matters.

— Lovecraft would appreciate your practicality and decisiveness, especially since he tends to be passive. He'd rely on you to handle most interactions with the human world while he quietly follows along, content to let you lead.

— Lovecraft might not show much outward emotion, but he'd show his appreciation through actions. For instance, he'd wordlessly help you with small tasks or ensure your space is comfortable, even if he doesn't say anything.

— I feel like he would be comforted by your presence in moments of silence. If you are sitting together, he might lean against you absent mindedly or rest his head on your shoulder, drawn by the stability you reflect.

— Despite his aloof nature, Lovecraft would notice when you’re overextending yourself. He’d softly suggest resting or stepping back, saying something like, “Even strong things break if pushed too hard.” It’d be his quiet way of showing he cares.

— He would never be angry or uncomfortable should you ever tease him about being the "smaller" or weaker partner; all he would say in response is something like, "Size means little to me. Strength is strength, no matter what shape it comes in."

— Author's note

﹒﹀﹒ I just realized tumblr exist and checked it yesterday, and realized that there were probably a lot of people requesting and yet... I forgot, I'm genuinely sorry for those who requested but never receive them, if you still want me to do the request you can request again and I'll try to do them as fast as I can. Lovecraft is a little bit hard to write, but I did get used to it.

[hotvintagepoll]

mod hat being off and all, can you also tell us which scrungles you were passionately rooting for/ which losses you were most devastated by?

YES. to be honest i feel fondness for most of the scrungles but i was particularly devastated by

round 1

Eli Wallach is so good in The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly. Franklin Pangborn. Hermione Gingold. JENI LE GON. JOHN QUALEN (to bette davis! of all people!). JUDY HOLIDAY. laurence criner, margaret rutherford, miloš kopecký, and paulette goddard

round 2

elisha cook jr the little mouse man!! takashi shimura and valeria creti and lionel jeffries too

round 3

marie dressler. i am raging about this one tbh. robert helpmann!! thelma ritter always but i knew she wouldn't make it to the end. una o'connor who i DID think would make it to the end. thomas mitchell, icon and king. paul white + marie bryant, RAJ KAPOOR?? YOU VOTE OUT RAJ "DEFINITELY QUARTERFINALIST AT MINIMUM" KAPOOR?? MANTAN MORELAND TOO???! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

round 4

FATS WALLER. stormy weather is not my fave but his parts in it are. i will be honest something about dwight frye freaks my ass out. but for that very reason i feel like he should have gotten farther than he did. dwight. dwight

round 5

pablo alvarez rubio, cab calloway :(

quarterfinals

cab calloway AGAIN hngg. sorry by the way i'm still baffled that mantan moreland isn't here what happened [edit: i forgot he didn't make it into the quarterfinals, gene wilder nabbed his spot. is there no god!]

semifinals

mixed emotions about peter lorre. i liked seeing peter lose just because i think "automatic" sweeps are boring (and a lot of people thought lorre would be the mifune of this tournament), but this still was a surprise. (not mad about it though, good on you elsa!)

finals

i wanted cantinflas to win :(

[vasyandii]

Hello! I just wanted to say that I absolutely adore your IHNMAIMS oc. I'm a OC x canon enthusiast and seeing a character so well written and adapted to the story as Vernon is makes me so excited!! Plus your art is literally amazing. I've been curious since you mentioned how Vernon cuts potions of her meal to give them to AM and how the food improved since AM got his body, what food/meals do Vernon and AM like/dislike/have as favourite? -for AM, at least from what he has tasted- Whether if it's because of the taste, flavour, etc.

Howdy Anon! Thank you so much for the kind words, I've been giddy since I got it a few days ago! I'm glad my OC x Canon content gets your stamp of Approval >:D!! 💞💞

VernonAM 🏺🖥️ Food Preferences

I think Vernon is careful in choosing the food she shares with AM because he will eat literally ANYTHING. She would try to eat things to torture herself with, extremely spicy foods, live insects, raw organs, etc. but then remember that she has to "Feed AM". So she opts out for something normal so his taste buds don't get fucked.

Or as normal as it can get, the food kind of has the uncanny valley effect as well. It looks normal and tastes normal, but she feels there's something a bit off about it (kind of like airplane food). So she often leaves criticism to the Chef™ (AM) or asks to cook instead.

Vernon isn't particularly picky when it comes to food, she'll eat it and clean her plate. She likes her food balanced, vegetables/meat with sauce and all that. If it tastes good, she'll eat it, y'know?

AM is more... difficult. Sure, he'll eat anything, but if it tastes really bad, it'll traumatize him and he'll refuse to eat it for a while.

His food has to not be touching, if it's mixed in all together beforehand he'll eat it. If there's sauce it shouldn't be close enough to where it can contaminate the food AM's eating because he WILL taste it, no matter how small the amount is. His utensils need to be a specific size, and the food HAS to be hot/warm. He needs to be able to see or know every ingredient in it.

It's observed that AM likes fried foods/anything crunchy because of how consistent they are in taste, texture, and flavour. So what ends up happening is Vernon will just include those foods into her meal, just to not eat it and have it on a little plate for him.

Vernon asks him why he can't just make food for himself, his response is "I don't need to eat, I eat when when you eat."

But honestly it's a pretty dumb question now that she's looking back on it. AM has all the knowledge in the world about food, everything ever made, everything he's never tasted. So he's basically asking Her, indirectly, "I don't know where to start or what's good. But you do. I trust you. Feed me."

Now here's some of the meals They've had together (+ AM's comments):

Chicken soup ("Too wet", just ate the broth)

Caesar Salad ("Damp, Crunchy water")

Vanilla ice cream (experienced a brain freeze for the first time, thought his body was malfunctioning)

Spaghetti Bolognese ("No I will not be mixing it, you mix it for me")

Western beef stew (He picked out the potatoes and only ate those. Thought the meat was irritating to eat.)

Baby carrots. ("You know they bleach these, right?")

Asparagus (he likes them. Needs to be warm)

Broccoli (same thing)

Cheese Pizza (Ate it, ate too much. Tummy hurted.)

Tempura (Ate too much, tummy hurted)

Fish and chips (Ate too much, tummy hurted)

Coffee, black (spat it out)

Macaroni and cheese (Ate too much, tummy hurted)

Grilled chicken hearts skewers (He liked it, but kept poking the roof of his mouth with the skewer.)

Half a Hamburger (picked out the vegetables because he didn't like them, still tasted it and gave the rest to Vernon)

Half a cheeseburger (ate it with no fuss.)

Aaand that'll be all for now :) if you made it this far, thank you for reading! If you need any clarifications, feel free to tell me!

[not-neverland06]

Only Have Eyes for You

Previous part / Next part

Series Masterlist

Cooper Howard x fem!reader, The Ghoul x fem!reader Summary: He found you, again, you should be expecting it at this point. The only problem is there’s still a Deathclaw lurking around outside the station. You’re stuck with him and the bodies of the ghoul you kill in a desolate gas station.

“God, Coop, this is delicious.” She moans around the fork and takes another bite of dinner. He clenches his fork a little tighter, trying not to stare too obviously at the way her lips wrap around the metal. He feels like a lech, watching her reactions so eagerly. He also feels like she might be playing this whole thing up to screw with him. 

He’s a good cook, but he’s not that good. She glances up at him, red lips tilted up into a mischievous smirk. He lets out a rough sigh, shoulders slumping forward as he shakes his head and digs into his own meal. Of course she was messing with him. 

She lets out a little laugh, “Sorry, couldn’t resist. You’re so easy to rile up.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he tries to sound stern, but he can’t mask his own smile. “Keep it up and I won’t be cooking for you anymore.” He points the fork at her, an attempt at being intimidating, but he can’t keep the act up when she laughs. 

She’s enchanting, everything about her. The way she sits, eats, talks. He could just watch her all day and never be bored. Everything about her seems to be designed to tempt him. He knows he shouldn’t be thinking like this, it’s wrong. But he finds that thoughts like these are becoming easier to live with everyday. 

There’s always a cop out or an excuse that assuages his guilt in the moment. Of course, that night, when he puts Janey to sleep and lies next to his wife, that’s when everything comes crashing down. But when he’s with her, it’s like they’re in their own world. 

There’s no one here to answer to. No responsibilities to worry about or deadlines to meet. He can take off the celebrity mask and just be himself around her. Her presence is freeing. She approaches everything in life with such self-assuredness that he feels more confident around her. 

Sometimes, after a particularly bad day or a rough fight with Barb, he imagines what life would be like with her. If he’d never been a movie star. If he’d never fought in that war. If he’d just met her before everything changed. Maybe they’d have a ranch, out in the middle of nowhere with no one and nothing around them. 

It would just be the two of them together, maybe some chickens, definitely Roosevelt. The thought always makes him smile. Then he remembers what reality actually looks like. The war, the stardom, his family, it’s who he is. It’s so deeply ingrained into him that he doesn’t even know who he would be without it. 

“Oh,” she looks up from her plate and glances over at the record player. Cooper takes the chance to look at her, really look at her. The candlelight gives her a youthful glow. Her lips are eased into a gentle smile, expression soft and open. It’s the most relaxed he’s seen her in a while. She’s been so tense lately, it’s why he offered to make her dinner. 

Now, the tension has melted from her shoulders. It looks like the light’s gone back on in her eyes. Hell, he’d practically invited her on a date, he doesn’t know why he’s surprised by how happy she looks. They’re eating a dinner he made by candlelight with I Only Have Eyes for You playing in the background. 

He’s not sure he could have made this any more romantic. “I love this song,” she whispers. She glances back over at him. It’s a brief look, fleeting and gone as quick as it comes. But he knows what she’s thinking, because he’s thinking the same thing. 

They speak with their eyes, their looks, it’s become a secret language between the two of them. It’s full of fleeting touches and longing gazes and it’s always quicker than he wants. There was a yearning in her eyes that he knows is reflected in his own. The desire to act on their desires. 

For tonight, only tonight he reasons, he’s going to do what he wants. The world will melt away and he’ll give into the fantasies. They’ll go back to their usual tomorrow, but tonight, tonight is for the two of them and no one else. 

He stands up from his seat and she glances up at him, eyes wide and a furrow in her brow. “Come on darling,” he whispers. If he speaks too loudly the spell will end and they’ll sober up, realize what they’re doing. He holds out his hand to her and she looks at it for a moment. Fleeting touches, it’s all they know, tonight that changes. 

She doesn’t smile, simply slides her hand into his and nods. Acceptance of what they’re doing. Her palm is warm against his, smooth and when she squeezes his hand it takes everything in him not to just bring her into his chest. But he has to be slow, savor this while it lasts. Tomorrow it ends. He can’t let this moment be rushed. He helps her to her feet and leads her into the open space of his living room.

When he comes to a stop she finally takes her eyes off her heels and looks at him. He swears the stars are in her eyes, they lure him in and keep him captive in their hold. He never wants to look away from her. 

Her hand slowly glides up his arm. Her fingers brush against the nape of his neck from where she lazily drapes her forearm over his shoulder. He smiles at her, heart racing a bit when she gives him her gorgeous smile in return. They sway slightly as his arm wraps around her waist and his free hand takes her other one. 

She scoffs in amusement when she notices the way he keeps them apart. There’s a ridiculous amount of space between the two of them. He’s afraid if he pulls her any closer he’ll lose the last thread of sanity he has.  

She takes the final step, slotting her feet between his, their chests pushed up together. For a moment, he worries that she can feel how quickly his heart is beating. It processed slowly that it’s her own pulse he’s feeling. She’s just as affected by him as he is by her. 

She gives him one last look before she leans her head against his shoulder. He mourns the loss of her eyes for a moment before he closes his own and leans into her. He forgets where he is, lets himself get lost in the moment. They're not even dancing, merely moving together. 

He’s not sure how many songs they sway to, how long they stand joined together. He doesn’t care. He doesn’t know whether they’re still in his house or have somehow danced their way into the backyard. He only has eyes for her. 

You hold your hands up, trying your best to placate him. Cooper just gives you a mean smirk, his head tilted in contemplation as he looks at Lucy. Her eyes are wide as she stares down the barrel of his gun. “Cooper-”

He pulls back the hammer and your mouth clamps shut. You have no way of knowing what he’s going to do. Maybe if this was two hundred years ago you might. But this man before you is a stranger. 

Your heart leaps to your throat and you have to stop yourself from lunging forward when he grabs at Lucy. In a split second the gun is pointed at you and his arm is tightly wrapped around her neck. Lucy wheezes, hands desperately clawing at Cooper’s arms. 

You’re crouched on the ground, hackles raised like a feral animal. There’s a throbbing pain radiating from where he shot you. Were it not for Lucy’s medkit you would have bled out. If the wound wasn’t crippling you right now, you would have already shoved your knife through his neck. Again. 

“Up,” he commands with a jerky upward motion of his gun. Your eyes dart to Lucy’s. They’re rounded with concern and she shakes her head as much as he allows. You can’t run, your brains would be splattered across dusty linoleum before you breached the door. You have no choice but to comply with his commands. 

He smiles, seeming to come to the same realization as you. His eyes rove over you, lightening with satisfaction as he catches sight of the blood covering the entirety of your right leg. Then they happen upon the head dangling from your hand. “Well, well, well, look what we have here. Three for the price of one backstabbing bitch.”

Your face screws up in a sardonic smile and you toss the head to his feet, “Take it. Leave us the hell alone and just take the bounty.” Lucy squeaks but her face is turning purple from the grip he has around her throat. She’s got no room to protest against this. Either you give up the head or he kills you both. You don’t see yourself getting out of this one. 

To your chagrin Cooper simply shakes his head. He tucks the gun back into its holster and you track the movement carefully. He reaches behind himself, pulling out his rope and roughly placing it in Lucy’s hands. With a loud gasp she’s released from his hold and shoved forward. You grunt, hands reaching up to brace her as she crashes into you. She pants into your shoulder, rubbing her throat with a wheeze as she catches her breath. 

Cooper’s eyes are cold, devoid of anything except a detached boredom as he watches you both. “Tie her up.”

Lucy looks over her shoulder, voice cracking and painful to listen to. “What?” You can barely hear her, you’re not sure how Cooper manages to understand what she’s saying. But he does, he doesn’t say anything else. He leans back, arms hanging relaxed by his side as he nods once more from the rope in her hands to you. 

Your hands tighten to the point of creaking pain in your knuckles as Lucy slowly shifts away from you. Her own grip on the frayed rope is shaking, hands trembling as her cool fingers wrap around your wrists. You don’t let your eyes leave Cooper. You take in the smug look on his face and let it fuel your hatred for him further. He might think he’s got you now, but the second you’re fully healed you’re going to kill him. Permanently this time. 

There’s a little tsk from Cooper and Lucy glances back at him, hands still hovering over your wrists. He shakes his head and nods upwards. Her lips part, brows narrowed in confusion as her hands slowly make their way higher up your body. Over your forearms, past your elbows, and grazing against your biceps. He’s only satisfied when her hands are placed loosely around your neck. “Leash her,” the command is a rough growl that has panicked shivers crawling down your spine. There’s contempt dripping from his voice, nothing but hate as he barely even looks at you. 

Lucy mouths an apology but you just shake your head. You don’t need her apologies, you just need this to be over. You need him to turn his back so you can both make a run for it. Craning your neck forward, Lucy slips the loop over your head. She tries not to irritate the bruise that is already around your throat from your last run in with him but it's unavoidable. Your jaw clenches, teeth grinding together as you try not to focus on the burning chafe of rope against your skin. 

Something wet nudges against your hand and your stare breaks away from Cooper. The back of your palm is sticky with something slimy and you grimace as you glance down. There’s a sharp yip from the hound beside you. She’s nudging relentlessly against the hand holding the head, like she’s trying to take it from you. Your fingers bury deeper into the hair and you jerk back, forgetting momentarily about the rope and hissing when it tears at the fragile skin. 

Cooper stomps forward, the spurs on his boots sounding like jingling omens of doom. He grabs at the rope and with a hard tug you stumble towards him. Your chin lands on his chest, the bone digging uncomfortably into his sternum. You glare up at him and he’s already grinning down at you. The yellow of his teeth looks particularly putrid tonight. 

His hand is rough as it grasps your wrist. The skin hardened and calloused from hundreds of years of being under the nuclear sun. Your breath catches slightly when it finds its way around the base of your neck. His touch is almost gentle as his fingers skate across your collarbones. It catches you off guard, lips parting with a surprised gasp as they travel deftly up your neck. 

You expect him to squeeze so you take a deep breath. His smile ticks up, grin widening at the action. His head tilts slightly as he takes you in, eyes roving up and down your form. This is odd, this feeling. There’s a flutter in your stomach, a recognizable ache in your chest when you see the way he’s looking at you. 

Your eyes are locked, something old and familiar swimming in both of them. You used to be ashamed of this feeling he brought up in you. He was a married man after all and you were just his lying assistant. You were never supposed to be attracted to him. You’re certainly not supposed to be attracted to him when he looks like this. But despite how much he’s changed, he’s still got that Cooper Howard charm. 

He doesn’t drag you forward roughly. He guides you further into him, tilting your chin up and leering down at you with that angry grin. His hand glides around the back of your neck-

The head drops to the ground with a wet thud as your hands fly to the rope on your neck. He’s grabbed the back of it, tightening it so hard you’re sure you felt your eyes pop out. The smile on his face is gone, instead it’s replaced by an intensely concentrated look. His eyes are boring into your own, taking in every twitch and gasp as he watches you struggle for breath. 

You dig at your neck, feeling warm wet blood bubble under your nails the more you rip at the rope. Your fingers go cold and your tongue swells as the pressure in your face increases until you think the skin will burst. The eye contact doesn’t break between you, darkly intimate as he takes in every detail of your slow death by his hand. 

The world around you is muffled like you’re underwater. The blood rushing around in your head as your brain throbs. Vaguely, you can hear Lucy shouting and the dog barking. But Cooper never takes his eyes off of you. He’s undeterred by Lucy hitting and slapping at him with her own fatigued arms. It’s only when a loud roar off in the distance rattles the floor of the station that he lets you go. 

Your legs give out but you don’t get a chance to sink to the floor. A firm arm wraps around your waist and keeps you clutched to his chest. You have no choice but to hold onto him, nails digging into the leather of his duster as you catch your breath. “Alright,” he mutters, voice low as he speaks into your ear. “Catch your breath, sweetheart.” For a moment you can pretend he’s comforting you. That he wasn’t the one who just tried to kill you. 

He doesn’t let the fantasy last long. “It’s only going to get worse from here.”

You’d cry if you weren’t so exhausted. “Please,” Lucy croaks from behind you. “What do you want from us?” You try to slip away from him while she speaks. But you still don’t have great control over your faculties. Your feet just slide uselessly against the floor as he keeps you strapped to him like an iron band. 

“You,” he spits the word out like an insult. “Well, I don’t want nothing from you, little lady. It’s her I want.” You don’t have to look up to know that he’s talking about you. It’s clear enough from the way he tugs a little at your rope. You whimper at the twinge of pain and he chuckles. You glance up enough to see him look down at the head, frowning slightly as he considers it. “Although, that bounty right there is a bit of a bonus.”

Lucy shakes her head, ponytail waving around wildly. She holds up her hands, starting towards it. The dog lunges forward and Lucy stumbles back with a frightened yelp. “Please,” she looks up at Cooper, eyes pleading. “I need that head to save my father.” You would sigh if breathing didn’t hurt right now. There was no getting him to sympathize with her. 

“Your father?” Cooper questions, voice almost sounding sympathetic. Lucy nods, lips pouted and eyes wide with a beg for mercy. He huffs, a sneer marring his lips. “Well that’s just too bad,” he mocks. Lucy doesn’t seem to pick up on the sarcasm in his words, though, so he makes himself a little more clear. “I don’t give a fuck about your father, darling.”

Before anyone can say anything else there’s another loud roar, this time much closer than the last one. Cooper tenses up around you, arm tightening and eyes darting over to the closed metal door of the shop. Finally, he releases you. 

Your legs are still wobbly, you manage to stay standing for a second before they give out. They fold under you like a crumbling card tower and your body jolts roughly against the floor. Lucy skirts around the growling dog, still guarding her master’s head, and kneels beside you. 

Cooper opens the door, he pops his head outside for a second. You and Lucy share a look but it’s barely a minute later before he darts back inside and slams the door behind him. Without a word he drags a large metal shelf in front of the door and blocks it off. 

You and Lucy watch as he does it to the other doors as well. His face doesn’t give away much but you can tell from the hunch of his shoulders that whatever he saw had scared the hell out of him. You don’t know what time Deathclaw’s like to hunt but you figure it’s probably about now. You would enjoy the idea of something frightening Cooper if it didn’t scare you ten times worse. 

Cooper looks over at the two of you and frowns like it’s your fault you're all stuck here. “Settle in, ladies, it’s going to be a long night.”

He managed to find a half rotted couch in one of the rooms, it’s not very comfortable. But it’s better than the floor. It’s certainly better than being tied up to a counter, which is exactly where you are. You keep shifting around, picking at the dried blood on your pants. He can’t deny the satisfaction it brought him to see how uncomfortable you are sitting in your own blood. 

Your little friend is still hovering around you. He hadn’t really had to worry about tying Lucy up, she refuses to leave your side. Lucy keeps fussing about the wound on your neck. Everytime she tries to take the rope off all he has to do is clear his throat and she’s pale with fear. 

The dog is curled up by him, resting on top of her owner’s head. It’s creepy, her attachment to that damn thing. She should be able to smell the death on him. Though, with the men he used to work for, he’s sure that she doesn’t know any other smell. 

He didn’t bother questioning them about the dead ghouls in the shop. He’d just made them drag the bodies into the empty refrigerators to hopefully keep the smell locked away. It didn’t take a genius to put two and two together. You’d had a bloody crowbar in your hand when he’d ambushed you. 

He catches your eye from where he rests on the couch. It’s hard to believe you’re such a ruthless little killer considering how pathetic you look right now. Your expression is sour, eyes set with thinly veiled hatred. You can glower all you want, he’s not gonna pretend he didn’t see the want in your eyes earlier. You might be angry now, but you still want him all the same. It’s gonna make breaking you so much sweeter. 

Lucy happens to catch the look and she frowns at what she must think is familiarity. He tilts his hat over his eyes, deciding he might as well try and sleep now. They won’t be leaving this place until the Deathclaw lurking around outside goes back to its den. 

“Do you know him?” He attempts to drown out their conversation but its hard. They’re in ridiculously tight quarters and as much as he wishes he was alone right now, he’s not. He could always just toss Lucy out the door, use her as a distraction for the Deathclaw. Sadly, she does have some use about her. 

Clearly she knows her way around a gun and a medkit. She’s resilient, he’s sure even if he did toss her out she’d still bounce back somehow. Besides, she’s keeping her friend calm and docile. He needs them both to keep each other under control. 

A light hum, “Used too.”

Lucy’s voice is incredulous, she almost sounds betrayed. “How is that possible?”

He opens his eyes just enough to see yours widen. Your face pales like you’d just realized the mistake you made. He doubts Lucy actually knows much about the vaults she lives in. He’s sure that, just as you always did, you’re still keeping Vault-Tec’s secrets. 

Instead of answering the question you try to deflect. “Come on, he might be missing a nose and have a real shitty fucking attitude.” He can’t help but snort at the anger in your voice. Like you have any right to be angry at him. “But you don’t recognize your favorite little mascot?”

He sneers at the mocking tone. When he glances back up you’ve got a smug little smile on your face. You’re not looking at Lucy, you’re already staring at him. Waiting for him to explode. 

Well, one thing hasn’t changed. You still know how to get under his skin. But he’ll be damned if he lets you know just how much you piss him off. He doesn’t give you the satisfaction of his reaction, he just closes his eyes again and imagines all the different ways he wants to torture you. 

“What do you mean?”

“You should ask him for an autograph Lucy, it’s our very own Vault Boy.” He pictures sliding his knife under your skin and peeling while you shriek. “Isn't that right, Cooper?” He sees himself shooting Bud and Barb and you, over and over again. The same little fantasies that got him through the first years of the fallout. 

Lucy is undeterred by your deflection. She keeps her eyes trained on you both. Her brows are drawn in, mouth set in a firm line. “You two know each other.” You don’t answer, eyes darting away from his and settling on the floor. Lucy sinks back against the counter and sighs. “That’s why you never loved Norm.”

Norm? He tilts his head up, taking in the affronted look on your face. Your head whips back towards her, “Lucy-” she cuts you off. 

“Him?” She motions towards him, voice incredulous and almost hurt. Who the fuck is Norm? You lower your head, like you’re ashamed. He wonders if it’s because you got caught or just because you were ever with him. “He’s so much better than my brother?” She keeps going, voice reaching a pitch of anger as she prods at you. 

He’s surprised by how quickly she connected the dots. He hadn’t thought she would be so perceptive. He’s sure that little show you gave her earlier when he had his hand around your neck probably gave you away. 

“In my defense,” you hiss back, “he used to have a fucking nose.” 

You know she’s struggling with this. The idea that you could have ever loved the ghoul. But, she doesn’t understand just how different he had been when you’d known him. She only knows this cannibalistic sadist without a kind bone in his body. 

Lucy is staring at you with something close to hate in her eyes. You can’t really blame her. So far he’d beat you both down and taken you hostage. You both know it’s only going to get worse. And now she thinks that you loved him, which is true. You think she might believe you still have feelings for him, which, despite your earlier display, is not true. 

She also knows now that you precede everything before the fallout. You’re sure she’s trying to put together how that works and right now you need to distract her with whatever you’ve got to keep her from figuring out the truth. 

“He was different,” you try, voice soft and pleading. 

She just shakes her head, turning away from you. “Norm deserved better,” she whispers and you frown. It hurts, the way she says it. Like you aren’t good enough for him. You cared for Norm as best you could but you weren’t going to apologize for not being in love with him. You can’t control who you love and who just can’t.

She would never know the man you loved and the thought hurt more than you cared to admit. “Who the fuck is Norm?” You and Lucy both leap apart, not expecting to hear his voice. You share a hesitant glance with each other. 

Cooper stands over you, expression expectant and hard. You try to shake your head, but she’s already answering, “Her husband,” she spits the words out like a threat. You recognize the tone, the same one you used to hear pre-war. Like if he keeps bugging you, your husband is going to come kick his ass. 

But this isn’t some asshole hitting on you in a bar. And Norm isn’t exactly a fighter. Cooper seems to realize that too because he steps back and fixes you with an odd look. You brace yourself, for anger or disgust, anything. You’re not prepared for the way he laughs, hands on his knees and whole body shaking with it. You frown, almost offended by his display. 

What the hell was that supposed to mean? 

You’ve never seen him laugh like this. 

Lucy gives you a scared glance before scooting closer to you. “That’s rich,” he sighs, wiping a tear from his eyes and shaking his head. “Married in the fucking apocalypse, how goddamn ridiculous.” He doesn’t sound amused anymore. There’s venom in his tone. His eyes narrow down on you and you shrink further into yourself, thigh throbbing painfully. 

He walks back to the couch, throwing himself down and tugging the hat over his eyes. “Feel bad for the poor bastard,” he mutters, the words feel hateful. But everything about him now is tainted with anger and hate. 

Lucy, realizing he isn’t going to bother you both anymore fixes you with one more angry look before moving away from you. She settles against the refrigerators. She’d rather sit near dead ghouls than be near you. 

Your head falls forward with defeat, chin tucking into your chest with a rough sigh. You’re sure it wouldn’t take much longer for her to discover just who you really are and what you do for Vault-Tec. She’s smart, she’s going to figure it out soon. And when she does she’s not going to be interested in your company anymore. 

Once that happens, well, Cooper’s got nothing left to leverage against you. 

“You cooked?” The astonishment in Norm’s voice has you rolling your eyes. 

“Don’t sound so surprised. I am capable of some wifely duties,” you send him a playful grin and he offers up a brief chuckle. “Your dad’s coming over,” you admit. You turn your back to him, placing a fork beside the plate you're setting. You can practically feel the tension that settles over him at the announcement. 

Hank’s visits never really go the way that he wants. Or the way you want. He’s the overseer before he’s an old friend and especially before he’s a father. At least to Norm. He’s always been a little sweeter on Lucy. You’ve never really figured out if it’s because she embraces her role in the vault so much better than Norm. Or if it’s because she reminds him of her mother. 

You, personally, never got to meet Lucy’s mom. You only heard stories about her. Norm was too young to really remember her, but Lucy always loves to talk about how kind of a woman she was. You don’t know the real story of how she died, but you know the shit Betty and Hank pedal isn’t the truth. 

You try to avoid the topic of parents in your home as much as you can. It’s a sensitive subject for Norm. It’s why you’d been putting off telling Norm about Hank coming over. But you put it off so much, you’ve had no choice but to spring it on him. It’s better like this, honestly. He always weasels his way out of these dinners. Then you’re stuck awkwardly fielding Hank’s questions about your marriage with his son. 

It’s not really fun to talk to the guy you used to get drinks with about creating a child with his kid. 

“You didn't tell me,” Norm doesn’t sound angry. He never gets angry with you. He just seems resigned. Resigned to accepting that he’s in a marriage he never wanted. Resigned in the fact that he hates the vault he lives in, the jobs he works, that he’ll never truly be satisfied. Your husband can be a sad man sometimes. 

You wish you could be what he needed you to be. Wish you could love him the way you should, but you can’t. As much as you try. He knows it’s forced and he doesn’t want to pretend he’s okay with being second choice in your heart. 

“I’m sorry, but you always manage to get out of these things. Then I’m stuck awkwardly talking about sperm count and his and Lucy’s book club.”

Usually Norm just huffs and accepts his fate. Instead, he fixes you with an odd look. It’s that assessing gaze he gets sometimes that makes you feel like he’s looking straight into your core and seeing the rot there. He walks around you, grabbing a plate and finishing up setting the table. “You know,” he starts and you tense up. 

You pretend to be busy mixing the mash potatoes so you don’t have to look at him. Your anxieties are always evident on your face, you don’t need him to pick you apart right now. “My dad seems a lot more comfortable with you than he does me. Sometimes,” you risk a glance and he shakes his head. He seems like he’s talking more to himself than you. “Sometimes,” he starts again, “it seems like you two know each other.”

Your breath catches and you’re pretty sure your heart stops beating for a solid minute. He’s still muttering to himself, not looking at you or really even processing what he’s saying, but you’re worried he’s figured you out. It’s illogical and impossible. You could easily explain your bond with Hank away. But it doesn’t make you feel any better about having to lie to him. 

You’re quite literally saved by the bell as your doorbell buzzes and Hank’s voice calls out a chipper, “Hello!” Norm puts down the last glass, gives you a strained smile, and turns to get the door. You take in a deep breath and slump over the counter for a second. 

You had this foolish idea in your head that the last person you would ever have to lie to would be Cooper. That once you got down into the vaults you wouldn’t have to keep lying to the people you care about. You could finally rid yourself of the constant anxiety and stress of the upkeep of your lies. 

You should have known better. 

Hank walks in with Norm, the two of them chatting about Norm’s new janitorial job. Norm is less than enthused and Hank is worried about the lack of enthusiasm. “Cleaning toilets is a very important role here, son. I’m proud of you.” At least he tries. 

Norm sits his dad at the table and walks into the kitchen. You give him a smile and finish pouring the potatoes onto the dish of food. You hope he doesn’t notice how strained your look is. If he does, he has the decency not to mention it. 

He only offers you a brief smile in return, a secret message in his look. It’s tense, the same as yours, but this is simply a request to play interference between him and his dad tonight. You huff a laugh and nod, he gives you a relieved look and grabs the pitcher of lemonade from beside you. 

You watch him walk back to the table. His back is turned as he pours drinks for all of you. You’re reminded of a different dinner you had a long time ago. Not for the first time you look at Norm and wish he was someone else. 

You screw your eyes shut, turning your back on him and glancing down at the food in front of you. He deserves better than you. 

You take in a deep breath and pick up the dish full of your dinner tonight. You straighten out your shoulders and turn towards the men waiting for you with your most practiced smile. “Who’s hungry?”

end. — I do not own the characters or the game/show Fallout, but this writing is my own all rights reserved © not-neverland06 2024. do not copy, repost, translate & recommend elsewhere.