#she's much more patient than some of my other friends if that's the right word so that makes talking easier

[l-starsz]

‘billie can you please call me’

i messaged her as quickly as possible. i was in tears thinking about the stuff that was hurting me. i needed to hear her voice to calm me down and make everything better. i just needed her.

almost immediately after i sent the message, i heard my phone ringing and answered to hear her caring voice.

“hey angel, what’s going on? everything okay?”

all she heard through the phone were my sniffles as i tried to calm down enough to answer her.

“oh baby are you crying?” her voice softened even more.

“bil.” i whined, practically crying out for her.

“tell me what’s wrong. why are you crying?”

i just groaned in response, unable to actually tell her what was bothering me. well i could tell her but i struggled talking about why i was upset sometimes, and i had no clue why because i wanted to tell her. i wanted to communicate. it was just so difficult.

“talk to me baby. are you ready to tell me what’s up?”

“mhm.” i sniffled, thinking i could do it.

“use your words for me.” she was being so patient with me.

i once again groaned, not being able to find the right words without thinking it sounded stupid.

“do you need me to come over?”

“yes please.” i whispered before i heard her get up and get some shoes and a jacket on, leaving the house straight away.

she stayed on call while she was in the car, she stayed on call all the way until she’d knocked on my door and i’d opened it. i jumped into her arms and hid my face in her neck. i calmed down a bit from her presence whilst she carried me to my bed again.

i whined when she put me down but then noticed her sliding her shoes and jacket off so that she could climb into bed next to me and pull me into her arms. i was still crying as she held me close against her.

“you gonna tell me what’s wrong now sweet girl?”

“i- well-“ i sighed, not knowing how to say it.

“baby i’m trying to help, i can’t help if you don’t tell me what’s wrong, or if you don’t tell me whether or not you’re ready to talk.”

“i know and i wanna tell you, it’s just.. it sounds stupid when i say it out loud. it’s a stupid reason to be upset.” i sniffled.

“i promise you it’s not gonna sound stupid. it obviously isn’t stupid if you’re this upset about it. i’m not gonna judge you, i care about if you’re okay or not. i wanna help.” she whispered in response, kissing my head and running her hands up and down my back.

“thank you billie.” i whispered back, before telling her, “it’s just that.. my friends have been asking to go out with me, and obviously i’m saying yes. but then they keep cancelling on me and saying they don’t have the time but they have time for their other friends. i just feel like they’re sick of me and i feel so alone. you’re all i have left. they barely speak to me anymore.” i cried harder as i told her, holding onto her tight as if she’d suddenly leave too after hearing my confession.

“oh angel.. they don’t deserve you. i’m so happy when i’m with you and if they don’t appreciate you the way you should be appreciated, i’m more than happy to be with you whenever you want to do something. we can go anywhere you want and do whatever because you know what? you make me the happiest. i know it hurts, but if they’re not being good friends then that’s their problem not yours, because they’re losing you.”

i hid my face in the crook of her neck while she spoke and ended up crying even more as i took in her words. and everything she said just proved how much she truly cares about me. after a little while, she sat us both up and brought her thumbs up to my cheeks, gently wiping my tears away and kissing me a few times, which brought a smile to my face almost immediately.

“thank you for everything bil.” i whispered before kissing her again.

“you don’t need to thank me angel. now i think someone’s looking a little tired hm? let’s go to bed okay? i think all that crying has tired you out.”

i just nodded before i felt her kiss me once again. she then laid us both down and held me close to her as we both fell asleep. she was all i needed. my best friend and girlfriend in one person. i’d rather be with her over anyone else.

a/n: half of this is a true story from last night so yeah that’s fun😶

[starpros-sunshine]

If I loved Wataei less I might be able to talk about them more....

[onsomenewsht]

Took a loan on a house I own

About when she panics and you’re very patient, but out of t-shirts

《 shout out to @p0orbaby, who turned this shit around and back on the fun side of the road

》 Leah Williamson x Reader

》 words count: 3k

》 commitment [noun, law]: a written order of a court directing that someone be confined in prison; mittimus

“Accept the Arsenal deal”, your agent encourages, his client’s best interests – and transfer fee – close to his heart.

“At least it’s not Manchester”, your father comments, still wishing for your comeback as saviour of your hometown club.

“What can go wrong?”, your childhood friends resonate with sincere smiles and rolling eyes at your unjustified hesitation.

Turns out, signing for the Gunners puts you in the Ballon d’Or shortlist after the first season and Leah Williamson in your bedroom.

One night you two are sharing a ride after a shameful celebration, you’re way too drunk to even remember how to walk in a straight line and she finds herself thinking way too much about your carefree giggles – if anyone asks, she just wants to make sure you don’t get kidnapped or fall on your pretty face tripping over nothing.

The following day she’s still in your house, wearing your clothes and sharing questionable stories of failed dates just to hear you laugh.

A week after she’s in your bed again, this time naked and cracking up at the worst jokes you got.

It’s not like you planned such development in the relationship with the skipper or tried to win her over with infallible pickup lines, it just happened.

Not that you’re complaining now.

Another season ends, but you keep finding each other in compromising positions at the worst possible moments, avoiding friends and teammates teasing comments with really not much effort.

Her mother, the wiser when it comes to Leah’s debatable life choices, asks about you all the time and went as far as personally inviting you over for Christmas. You declined, obviously, but made sure the Williamson family received your presents.

Your best friend demanded to have a private conversation with the blonde the first time he visited, probably embarrassing you with made-up memories and pointless threats. She took it all more seriously than needed, teaming up with him at your expense by the end of the night.

“Do you have a t-shirt I can borrow to sleep in?”

A sense of domesticity fills every interaction with the English woman nowadays, feelings you’re way too pleased to indulge but even more scared to address.

Knowing her, like a stray cat enjoying the sun and the offered food, a too-close approach or unexpected movement could provoke a runaway.

You move your eyes from the laptop slowly, taking in her freshly showered body and the wet blonde locks dropping water on the floor. She knows you hate that.

“Top drawer on your left, dry your hair before going to bed”

“What do you have against air drying?”

“What do you have against respecting my silk sheets?”

When she misses the opportunity to quip back, like she always does when your sleeping habits are mentioned, you give up any chance of reviewing the last away game to find Leah cautiously studying the furniture.

“Why are my clothes here?”

“Would you prefer to have them lying around the apartment?”

“It’s a lot of clothes”, she states, digging through all the tops and shorts and even some designer pieces stocked in the drawer.

It’s not really that much, honestly.

“You leave behind a lot of shit”

That makes the younger girl react, recovering from the shock of her things being carefully folded somewhere other than her closet – and occasionally a strategically placed chair in her room.

The cat is bothered.

Closing the laptop, you rise from the bed to slowly approach her. Cautiously.

“I just don’t understand why you put my clothes in your drawer”

“You have a lot of things here and I quite like the idea of a clean place”

“That’s not true! I–”, she fumbles for the right words to explain herself in her own mind.

You guide the blonde to the bed, sitting her down like you’d do to explain to a kid that Santa looked a lot like their overweight uncle because was, indeed, their overweight uncle; or that no, they can’t walk the dog for the last journey to Heaven.

The next words are going to be crucial.

“Leah, you basically live here”

“What?!”

Bad choice, noted.

She literally jumps so high you have to take a moment to appreciate your own cat metaphor for such spot on accuracy.

As the freshly nominated Arsenal’s captain, the goddesses and gods of football bowed to Kim Little, she shouldn’t risk her knees so mindlessly. You have to calm her down before some questionable network buys the rights for a high-budget documentary of how you managed to kill the equivalent of Princess Diana for the football community.

“I’m sorry to be the one that broke it to you, but at this point only you don’t–”

“You’re not making any sense, really, I–”

“Please, walk me through your day”

Easy.

The past two weeks have been dedicated to national duties, training camp and a friendly overseas. Not too bad, you both manage to keep in touch despite the time difference and your own commitments.

The trip back is uneventful, she sleeps for most of the flight and annoys Beth for the rest of it.

You pick her up at the airport.

Just because you’re closer than her mom and offered to.

You drive her to her apartment, but the blonde leaves the suitcase somewhere in the living room to deal with another time and comes back to the car in under three minutes.

Just because you promise to make dinner, she is supposed to refuse?

You two cook together, even if she’s still forbidden to use the air fryer and your wine accessories after the shrimps accident.

But we don’t talk about the shrimps accident.

The food is good, the company is even better. Stories are shared, memories are created with a questionable playlist in the background and laughs front and foremost. Plans are made to go see a film you’ve been waiting a year for and to find a dress she needs for a charity event.

Just because.

She takes a shower after, finally washing away the fatigue with her fancy shampoo you somehow have around in the bathroom. There’s also her favourite lotion, the delicate scent she can now smell with her eyes closed when she misses you a little too much for some reason. Even getting to the point of applying the scar cream she uses when her knee bothers, just because you know–

Oh, shit.

“Oh, shit”

“Yeah, ‘oh, shit’, indeed”, the smile on your face grows as you see the realisation crashing over Leah.

The English capitan may be a clueless idiot sometimes, but you’re already too into it to pretend not to like it.

“I basically live here”

The thought of her finally realising she moved in with you is not something you’ve indulged too much. An unconscious but lingering fear is the faithful companion of ruthless nights, lying in bed with Leah and her commitment issues.

Most nights she falls asleep holding on to you, and most mornings she wakes you up with a freshly made coffee. But she runs away and disappears for days after sharing a way too intimate moment.

By now, you know her well enough to know when to push her limits and when to let her be.

Yet, the confused and almost uncomfortable frown creasing her features hurts.

“I have to go”

“Leah–”

Without giving you the possibility to say anything to reason with her – or just protesting, for what it matters –, the footballer is putting on the first t-shirt she finds and fleeing the scene.

It’s one of your favourite tees, but maybe this it’s not the time to point it out.

“I need to go, I–”, she mutters as she tries to simultaneously put the shoes on and open the front door.

“Are you planning to walk back to your place?”

“Maybe?”

“It’s a ten minutes ride by car, you’re not that kind of athlete”

“I’ll call a taxi”

“With the phone you left on the nightstand?”

For the first time, probably ever, you sound exhausted and not amused at all about the situation – she notices it too. It’s not like she’s completely clueless about the loose attitude, the blowing hot and cold.

You look at her, never dropping your gaze as your head shakes and a tired smile doesn’t reach your eyes. You hand her the phone you picked up when she was too concerned with running away from whatever therapist’s comment was echoing in her mind to realise what she was leaving behind.

Literally speaking, obviously.

“Please, wait here for the taxi. It’s dark outside”

“I’m sorry, I–”

“We can talk at training in a couple of days”, you ease her worry with a quick side hug and a kiss on the forehead, closing the bedroom’s door behind you.

~

A couple of days later, you don’t talk at training.

She’s avoiding you.

Well, kind of. Everyone at Arsenal, even the chocolate-coloured dog Win, can tell she’s torn up inside and always on the verge of a mental breakdown or, probably worst, ready to rant an apology speech she rehearsed in front of the mirror a concerning amount of times.

The usually composed skipper is panicking whenever found around you, trying to approach and chickening out despite the mental pep talks.

“Care to tell me why she’s sleeping on my couch?”

Lia insisting on pairing for the drill was a trap, you should have seen it coming.

“She found out she moved in”, you let her know, an amused smile lighting up your features for the first time this week.

It’s easy enough to put aside the bruised ego when the situation is as ridiculous as the one you’re currently in, one can laugh at their own misery.

“Finally?”

“I think she panicked”

“Of course she did, she has commitment issues and an apartment she’s not staying in– not even now!”, she passes the ball back to you, completely missing the point of the exercise you’re supposed to do, “Why is she sulking in my house?”

“Can’t tell you, she’s avoiding me as if I signed for Tottenham”

“Don’t joke about that, she may have a heart attack”

You both burst out in giggles, knowing too well it’d be a real chance. Or Leah could find the motivation to approach you – to kill you, sure, but she’d need to be close enough to do it with her bare hands.

“Be patient with her, she’s trying”, Lia gently says after composing herself.

The curious relationship you are building with the blonde may be questionable and unhealthy for some people, but it’s filled with respect and care. It resonates with genuine laughs and whispered secrets, it cherishes with caring hands and firm holds. It’s love.

The kind of love two people give each other despite the fears and the doubts.

“I know, I’m trying too”

~

After two weeks, the most awkward goal celebration in a London derby history, and an even more embarrassing phone call with Leah’s brother, you definitely have enough.

It’s not too bad, really.

She doesn’t flee the room as soon as you make your entrance anymore, the conversations start quietly but progress in the usual easy and carefree way. Sometimes she leans into you in the middle of a night out, other times your hands find each others without a real reason if not the comforting feeling that such a simple action can provide.

It’s not perfect, but you can tell she’s trying and she has a lot going on in her head already. You just want to be there, that’s all you have ever wanted.

It’s not too bad, there’s a reason for everything.

There’s a reason for your shopping list to still include her favourite bread and that inexplicably expensive shampoo, there’s a reason for the warm coffee with your name scribbled on it in the changing room every morning.

There’s a reason for saving a spot next to the other during tactical and video sessions, on the bus for the away game, or on the table at your go-to restaurant.

There’s a reason for the smiles secretly shared in the middle of a stupid debate going on between your teammates.

There’s a reason for you to sleep with the jersey she gave you the first time you played against each other and for her to still be squatting on Lia’s couch wearing your tee – the Swiss woman makes sure to send pictures and updates every night.

It’s not too bad, but it’s game night at the Williamson, and you’re not going to put your victory streak at risk because Leah is freaking out about her housing situation and ghosting her therapist too.

“Are you planning to hide here all night?”, you ask after tapping at her car’s window.

She looks surprised, even if she’s the one parked in front of her mother’s house for the past ten minutes – lights turning off as soon as she spotted you on the side of the road.

The window rolls down comically slow, and the blonde relaxes immediately when she gathers enough courage to look up at you just to find your amused smile. Hands still grasping around the steering wheel, turning white as her cheeks get redder every second.

She’s aware she’s been ridiculous.

“I didn’t know if you’d have come tonight”, she admits.

“I can leave, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable in your own–”

“No!”, she shouts immediately, “I mean, you’re already here. I want you here, I–”

“Good, I really want to defend my champion’s title and I can’t do it if my charades partner is playing hide and seek by herself”, you say, taking a step back to invite her to exit the car.

The teasing smile, that faded just for a moment, is back on your face and she couldn’t be happier to realise nothing really changed – you still look at her with unconditional affection and care, you still look after her heart in the most gentle way you possibly can.

“Hurry up, Williamson, I’ve been talking with your mother more than I’ve been with you lately so I kinda own her to lose a game or two”

She sighs and finally opens the door, getting out of the car with all the enthusiasm of a kid heading to the dentist without the promise of ice cream afterwards. And there is the t-shirt you’ve been looking for.

How many of your clothes did she manage to steal without you realising?

That’s why there’s so much of hers in the damn drawer.

“I wasn’t avoiding you”, she mumbles, more to her feet than to you as she drags them even slower.

It’s going to be the longest ten metres ever.

“Right, and Mariona isn’t asking me how to befriend the stray cat wandering in her apartment”

“I’m sorry, alright? I freaked out. The whole ���basically living together’ thing just–”, she stops in the middle of the road, waving her hands around as if trying to catch the right words out of thin air, “It just hit me, I haven’t seen it coming”

You gently but firmly pull her safely to the other side of the road before answering, “I figured when Lia cornered me in the middle of training”

“I knew she’d tell you”, the footballer groans, rubbing her face, “She said you’d understand, but I was too scared to talk to you and–”

“I do understand, Leah, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to make you suffer for abandoning me and tricking Lia and Mario into adopting you”

She laughs at that, the sound loosening the tension in her shoulders and deep into your stomach. You may be more at peace with your love for the blonde, more confident in this relationship, but you have doubts too.

It breaks her heart to make you insecure, you who always go above and beyond to make sure she’s comfortable when it comes to the feelings and the moments you’re sharing – the future you’re building.

“Can we go slow? Like, really slow?”, she looks at you, her eyes softer and the panic fading to be replaced by a new sense of certainty.

“I think we can’t go any slower even if we tried, took you half an hour to exit the car and for us to make literally ten steps toward your mom’s house”

The punch that hits you is strong enough to make you wince.

“Fine, I think we can compromise”

“Your terms?”

“I get visitation rights to my own apartment and free access to your closet”, she proposes, holding out her hand.

“You already have those”, you raise an eyebrow at her cocky smile, “You have to promise not to air-dry your hair on my silk sheets ever again”

“Deal”, Leah smiles as you shake hands, “I’ll just have to get my own pillows for my side of the bed so you can stop complaining”

She laughs oh-so-carefreely at your stunned expression, finally stepping closer and leaning into your embrace, still holding on to you as she approaches the front door.

“I’ll text Lia I’m going home with you tonight”

“Good”, you say, kissing the top of her head, “But let’s be real, you just need an excuse to steal more of my clothes, don’t you?”

“Maybe, but it looks better on me”

She’s saved by her own mother, opening the door and happily taking in the lovely scene with a knowing grin. The older woman pushes you both inside, commenting about the delay and claiming it is a tactic not allowed – all the games are going to be played, doesn’t matter how late it turns.

“You better let me win if you don’t want to be the one sleeping on a couch tonight”, she whispers in your ear as you take the seat by her side.

“Don’t push your luck, Williamson. We’ve got a long way to go, and you still have to find out about the pair of keys with your name on it hidden in the drawer”

fine.

[1d1195]

Sunflower

~7.2 k words

From Me: Requested by my 🍓-anon. Sorry it took some time. I took a couple liberties (mostly because I love food a lot so I couldn't make it taste bad hahahaha) I hope you like it! I'm going to post your ask with the request tomorrow. 💕 Right now it's just the one part (but I feel like some may want a second).

Warnings: fluffy and a bit of jealous Harry. Nothing too angsty though this time around.

Summary: Harry has a high paying job that allows him to eat at some of the finest restaurants in the city. But the little bistro that has good drinks and a great staff is by far his favorite. Or maybe it's the waitress he can't get out of his head that has him coming back so often.

“Are you sure this is the place?” Sarah looked skeptical.

“I swear,” Mitch smiled. “I know it doesn’t look like much, but the drinks are good and so are the apps.”

Harry watched the banter of his two best friends. “How did you even come across this place?” Sarah asked as Mitch held the door open for her to enter. Harry took hold of it so Mitch could follow after her. There were no more than fifteen tables and a bar. It was fairly dark but in a good way.

If anything, it contrasted sharply with the sunflowers at nearly every turn. There was a mural painted on the back wall of bright flowers against the dark paint. Each table had a bright blue glass vase with a single sunflower stem in the middle of the table. The aprons the staff wore were covered in a floral print of a garden of sunflowers. It was stunning. Bright and beautiful.

“Aptly named,” Sarah smirked.

Harry chuckled. “S’nice,” he agreed.

Harry and Sarah continued their observation while Mitch waited patiently at the host stand. “I came here for lunch with a client,” he said answering Sarah’s earlier question. “Their friend owns it.” After another moment they were brought to a table. There weren’t many people there; given they were there at two in the afternoon on a Saturday it wasn’t so surprising. The bar was nearly filled, several patrons seemed to be regulars as they got a say in what sporting event got to be on the TV. Only two other tables were filled and there was no need for a bustling staff. “I came for dinner, and it was full capacity with a line. But when you know the owner, you get a table early. They have a little outdoor patio around back too but it’s seasonal.”

The three of them looked over the menu in silence. Until Sarah broached the subject of getting one of every type of appetizer and then there was their daily debate of which appetizer was best and maybe they would have to do one of each since they wouldn’t be able to decide which was best.

Their debate was interrupted by the waitress coming over to introduce herself.

“Hi everyone, welcome to The Sunflower Bistro, have you been here before?”

“I have,” Mitch smiled. “We’re arguing over an appetizer, what do you think?”

Without pausing, she didn’t help the debate. “Oh, one of each,” she giggled.

“See! I told you!” Sarah lightly smacked Mitch’s arm.

This only made her smile grow. “Can I take your drink order while you narrow your choices?” She asked.

There was an exchange of words. Words Harry didn’t hear. But then Sarah and Mitch were looking at him expectantly.

“Harry?” Mitch asked.

“A drink, hello?” Sarah laughed.

Quickly he shook his head. “Sorry,” he cleared his throat, his eyes glancing down at the menu but unable to read anything. “Just water for now,” he murmured unable to make eye contact with her.

“I’ll be right back,” her voice was sweet and pretty.

“Are you alright?” Mitch asked.

“She’s beautiful,” Harry mumbled. “I can’t even look at her.”

When he saw her approach, he was immediately tongue-tied. Overwhelmed. It was like seeing the ocean for the first time. Or a garden. Or a painting in a museum. There wasn’t a way to pinpoint what made her so beautiful. It seemed to be everything. The way her hair was clipped behind her head and just a few soft pieces framed her cheeks. Her bright smile. Her sparkling eyes. The way the sunflower apron cinched her hips. All of it. Or none of it. She was beautiful. Overwhelmingly so. Harry swore he forgot how to breathe. He had been in love before—at least he thought he had been. This wasn’t comparable.

So he couldn’t even look at her.

Sarah giggled. Enjoying the way her friend’s face turned pink at the admission. Mitch smiled. “Aw Harry’s got a crush!”

“Shut up, she’ll hear!” Harry snapped and put the menu in front of his face, hiding from the rest of the restaurant.

“Oh my God,” Sarah laughed. “You’re being ridiculous.”

“I could not look at her,” Harry mumbled putting the menu over his face.

“She’s very pretty,” Sarah agreed and reached out to squeeze Harry’s arm. “But you have to look at her.”

Harry’s heart was racing. Like he was sprinting on the treadmill or in the middle of a phone call with an important client. Harry had been nervous before. The exams in college, his first interview, on-boarding new clients. This wasn’t comparable either. “I really don’t think I can, Sarah.”

“Did we make any decisions?” Her kind voice returned, and Harry scanned the menu eagerly, his cheeks still flushed, he was sure.

“Honestly, no,” Sarah laughed. “We’ve been admiring how beautiful this place is.”

And you, Harry thought.

“Oh, I know, it’s practically dreamy working here. The sunflowers are the perfect flower. It’s so sunny and fun,” she explained.

“Have you worked here long?” Mitch asked.

“Yes, since it opened. My friend owns it. It’s like a family kind of thing around here. It’s so nice,” she looked so happy to talk about this place. Passionate. “Niall’s really nice about me going to school and getting me the shifts I want.”

“Oh, that’s so nice! What are you studying?”

Harry wanted to involve himself in the conversation, but he was so speechless by her kind sweet presence, it was impossible to think of a word to say to her. He was grateful his two friends were there to carry the flow of dialogue because it was apparent Harry was going to be useless in that regard.

“Harry also went for a degree in finance,” Sarah segued to look at Harry. He missed her response. That was evident. He would ask when she went back to place their orders what was said specifically.

He looked at her, fully. He hoped he wasn’t staring at her to the point that she wanted to hide and run away from him because he was being a creep. After a pause that was a brief longer than he would have liked, he cleared his throat. “I graduated a couple years ago. I work for a large accounting firm,” it was a miracle he didn’t stutter from how nervous he was. He was holding the menu still to keep his hands from shaking.

Her smile brightened. She looked genuinely happy for Harry. He imagined she was anything but disingenuous, but still. For a complete stranger, who could barely utter two sentences to her, she bubbled with excitement at this knowledge of getting to know him. “Oh! That’s amazing! Nice to meet you, Harry. I’m graduating this spring,” she explained. “I’m super nervous about the whole internship process...I feel like it’s super difficult and overwhelming.”

“Harry’s still in touch with the person he did his internship with,” Mitch volunteered.

He wasn’t. At least...not to the degree that Mitch was suggesting. “Well, I’ll have to give you my card,” she winked at him. “I’ll give you a few more minutes to decide on appetizers.”

Harry felt some kind of crushing relief to watch her walk away. Which was ridiculous because the moment she was gone, he realized how badly and stupidly he wanted her to come back. He could barely even talk to her, but her presence made him happy. Deliriously so.

Sighing, he turned to Sarah. “Am I ruining m’first impression?” He asked.

Sarah smiled and shook her head. “Not at all.”

Harry really hoped not. “I’ve never felt like this,” he mumbled and decided bare minimum, he needed to pick something to eat. At least he could repeat it in his head a few times before she returned and not embarrass himself while ordering.

Hopefully.

*

Like the perfect waitress, she came back to check their food was good and their drinks were refilled. Mitch was right. The drinks were good and so was the food. “Can I get you guys anything else?” She asked sweetly. Fortunately, Harry managed to order his own food without Sarah or Mitch’s help. He didn’t stammer and didn’t make a fool of himself in front of her.

“No thank you,” Sarah turned to Harry. “Did you want to give her your card as well?” She asked. Harry felt like he was having an allergic reaction. His skin felt hot, and he thought that his throat was closing. Part of him wanted to kick Sarah beneath the table but a small piece of him was grateful for her direction and encouragement because it was evident he couldn’t do this on his own. He was prepared to give her his whole wallet. Credit cards, cash, anything in there was hers.

“Er...right,” Harry fumbled, his hands shaking as he opened it.

Harry tried to keep his breath under control as their fingers brushed when she took the card from him. His heart was working triple the beating time it was supposed to from the soft touch that couldn’t have lasted more than a second. “Oh goodness, my card doesn’t look anything like this,” she frowned. “Please don’t judge how ridiculous it is, I thought it was cute and memorable,” she pulled a few cards from her apron pocket.

It was cute and memorable. He didn’t want her to change a thing. The top corners were webbed with a little sunflower vine. Otherwise, the card was white with a half-print, half-cursive font covered in blue. “Well, aren’t you a Jane-of-all-trades,” Sarah laughed. She had listed tutoring, babysitting, painting, lawn-mowing, cleaning, etc.

“Gotta pay the bills somehow,” she admitted. She sighed. “I’m grateful to Niall as I’ve steered away from most of those odd jobs that my dad taught me,” she laughed again. “Waitressing, despite everything, is a lot more stable while I’m still in school. I made that when I was fresh out of high school. It needs a serious update.”

“Harry, where did you make your business cards?” Mitch asked.

If this were a regular day and Harry wasn’t so tongue-tied and nervous, he probably would have thanked his friends for their effort to support him in being his wingman and wingwoman. But he was so out of sorts, so unbelievably captivated and captured by her, he couldn’t fully use his brain. It was embarrassing. If she had even an inkling that he liked her, she probably wasn’t going to reciprocate merely because he was so embarrassing to listen to. There was no way someone so pretty would like him and his inability to speak.

What would their dates even look like? Her voice was so nice, like a song he hadn’t heard since he was young. The kind of song that made him believe in love even though he was young. Her laugh was probably adorable. Her smile was adorable so it could only be so. But she would want conversation. Right? Was she just to chat about her day and her feelings and Harry wouldn’t be able to do anything but stare at her? Admiring how pretty she was?

Actually, that sounded like a pretty decent plan for Harry. But she deserved more.

So instead, he cleared his throat once more. “S’online. I’d have t’look up the website. But yours is memorable,” he assured her. “I like the colors.”

“Thanks, Harry,” God he loved the sound of her voice saying his name. Her adorable smile was so sweet he felt his heart melting. “It definitely needs an update now that I’m about to graduate though, please let me know if you find the website.”

Harry wanted to tell her that he would give her whatever she wanted for as long as they lived and then in their next life too. But instead, he simply nodded and tucked her card safely into his wallet.

*

“This is insane,” he mumbled to himself as he pulled the door out of the way. It had been two days since he left The Sunflower Bistro and the pretty, sunflowery girl he was completely enamored with after hardly speaking to her. While her phone number weighed heavily in his wallet, he couldn’t bring himself to call her. Worried he wouldn’t be able to get a word out when she answered.

How he thought he was going to talk to her without Sarah and Mitch as a buffer was beyond him, but he couldn’t walk past this place either knowing he could see her and try to make up for his tragic first impression. “Hey Harry!” She said walking by the hostess stand. “Nice to see you again! Niall, can you put him in my section?” She asked.

Harry felt the words die in his throat, so he was glad he didn’t have to speak to Niall.

“A regular, hmm? Took you long enough,” Niall called after her.

“Had to hold out for a good one!” She shouted back and disappeared behind a door.

Harry wondered if all those times he had been in love before were real. His chest was fluttering with some emotion he hadn’t felt before then. It was a longing that filled every ounce of his lungs, every cell of his blood. Every inch of him. Like some kind of homing sound was coming from her and echoing in his body. He felt so unbelievably whole when he looked at her. Like he was seen.

Niall brought Harry to a table and smiled at him as he left.

“Hey! I was hoping you’d text or call, I figured it was my crummy card that deterred you. Or maybe it was unreadable,” that laugh of hers was a melody Harry wasn’t going to forget for the rest of his life. She leaned on the opposite side of the booth looking at him. Her hair was pulled back the same way as it was the other night. Silky and pretty. Harry wanted to slide his fingers through it more than anything. Her smile that had haunted all his thoughts at work and made him grin at his computer screen like a lunatic was also still just as earth shatteringly beautiful as last time. Made him tongue-tied just as he was last time.

“Um...yeah, no...,” he managed to smile at her joke. “M’jus’...” he shook his head trying to think of a reasonable excuse that would make any sense as to why he hadn’t called the pretty girl yet.

“Hey, no worries; I’m sure work keeps you busy!” Her voice was cheerful. “I’m glad to see you, is all. Are your friends coming?” His heart nearly stopped that she was glad to see him.

“Not this time,” he hoped that wouldn’t disappoint her because then he would call Mitch and Sarah and order them over. He still had a right mind to do so. Seemed to be the only way he would be able to talk to her more than a few mumbled words.

“Alright, well I’ll let you mull over the menu while I grab you a water. Unless you want something else?”

Drinking alcohol around her might make him fully mute. Or make him spill every thought he had. Without his friends as a buffer, both seemed heinous. “Water’s good.”

“I’ll be right back,” she flitted off like she was floating. Harry believed she was an angel so that made sense.

“C’mon Harry,” he mumbled to himself looking over the menu deciding what he would try today. He was fortunate the food was so good, and it would give him an excuse to come back more times than probably necessary so he could see her again.

“Here you are!” She practically chirped, setting his glass of water in front of him. She leaned against the opposite side of the booth again. “Anything look good?” She asked.

Her.

“Um...m’a fan of street corn,” he scanned the menu again.

“That’s probably my favorite app on there—or the pretzel bites with queso. It shouldn’t work but it does. The veggie soup here is criminally underrated but it’s not really soup season so no fault there. I’ll give you a couple more minutes,” she sauntered off again with her kind smile.

Harry wondered what her favorite song was and why she got into finance. He wanted to ask her what her least favorite subject was in school and what kind of music she listened to while she was cooking. Knowing her favorite candle and what kind of shampoo she used seemed like critical information he needed to know. He wanted to know how many siblings she had and whether or not she would want two kids or three.

All of which was ridiculous.

And further proof Harry had never been in love with anyone before he saw her.

*

Harry visited on Mondays and Fridays. It was a good way to start his week and a great way to end his week. Seeing her bookended by the workweek was nothing short of perfect.

He did this for three weeks. Niall merely smiled, as if he knew why he was there. Harry could feel his cheeks turn pink each time the staff gave him a knowing smile. It was obvious he was there to see her. To be placed in her section. “Hey Harry!” She chirped when he sat at his regular table.

Mitch and Sarah joined him twice more since the day they brought him. He was less tongue-tied but nearly just as shy. They gave him an immense amount of shit for being so smitten. But Sarah thought it was adorable. “You could just ask her out.”

“S’creepy,” he grumbled. “I doubt a waitress wants t’be hit on by their customer.”

“Right, coming twice a week just to see her isn’t creepy,” Mitch eyed him suspiciously as he sipped his drink.

Harry sighed in frustration and rubbed the heel of his hand into his eye. “I jus’—”

“Hey guys,” she nearly cooed so sweetly. Her cheeks turned pink. “I’m running a little behind today. I’m really sorry. This has been the longest double in the world,” her smile was still adorable. But she did look tired. Poor thing. “We’re down a server. And a line cook,” the exhaustion she felt was palpable.

“Oh, you poor thing,” Sarah cooed. “Harry, scoot over, let her sit,” she ordered.

Harry did immediately. Simultaneously terrified and excited to be so close to her. “Oh, it’s alright. I just—”

“Seriously, darling,” Mitch smiled. “Sit,” he encouraged.

She did.

The warmth of her body rolled off her and wafted over Harry in waves. It was like a gentle hug. His heart was rapidly beating, as it always did but somehow even faster now that she was so close to him. “Thank you, my feet are killing me,” she sighed. “I need new shoes, but my car just ate up a big chunk of my paycheck,” she frowned. “When it rains it pours right?”

Harry was trying to figure out the best course of action to help her on every front. He already imagined her tip was going to be exorbitant and he hoped she wouldn’t be upset by that—because he truly wanted to help her. “Have y’eaten yet?” He asked softly.

She bit the inside of her cheek. “No, I have been running around like crazy. Totally missed my chance at lunch.”

“S’not good, love,” Harry frowned. He wanted to call her Miss Sunflower or something similar, but he had one neuron still keeping him sane and decided ‘love’ was more neutral than not.

She nodded in agreement. “I know, I shouldn’t even be sitting. I’m sorry to lay all that on you guys. You’re just the first nice group I’ve had all day. It’s like a break in itself—not that I won’t do what you need and—”

“Oh please,” Sarah rolled her eyes. “We can just fill this table for you if that will make your life easier. Don’t worry about us,” she assured her.

The relief on her face was so sweet. Harry struggled to not wrap her in a hug beside him. “Thank you guys. It’s so nice to see you. I’ve never had my own regulars before,” her smile was so cute Harry wanted to kiss every inch of her face. His skin felt warm sitting so close to her. Snaking his arm around her waist would be so easy, so effortless. “I’ll get you a round of drinks?” She asked as she stood from her seat beside Harry. “Anything to start with today?”

“Pretzel bites,” Harry blurted quickly. “Please.”

He hoped he could convince her to sit and have a few when they came to the table. “My favorite,” she grinned knowingly.

*

When Harry sat in her section, she knew it was going to be a good day. His sweet smile, his easy-going nature, and just his kind presence made her shift immensely better. “He’s here again,” Niall sang as he headed to the kitchen where she was putting together a to-go order for one of her tables.

Her cheeks warmed under Niall’s sing-song tone. “If your food wasn’t so good he wouldn’t be here.”

“Darling, he’s not here for the food,” Niall sounded the slightest bit exasperated. He had repeated himself of the same notion since the second time Harry showed up to be seated in her section. “If he was truly here for the food, would he have left you a massive tip like that to get new shoes?”

The implication was there, and maybe she was having a little more trouble ignoring it after getting way more money from him and his friends than she had ever gotten while waitressing. Her achy feet felt so much better with new shoes too. So, part of her struggled to ignore the fact that Harry was maybe, possibly, there because she was.

Harry never made her feel uncomfortable. In fact, she felt nothing but comfort by seeing him. He was quiet, sweet, and very easy to look at. It took considerable strength for her to not stand at his table forthe entire time he was seated in her section. Mondays and Fridays were her favorite days of the week. Chatting with him (even if he seemed a little shy at times) was the best part of her shifts. His smile was so charming. She wanted to tell him everything about her reflexively. It was completely disarming. Or maybe it was how green and deep his eyes were that nearly made her voice die in her throat. It took a lot of effort to remember her job was to go get drinks and food for him at regular intervals.

She really thought he wanted no part of her when she didn’t even get a text message from him after procuring one of her lame cards. Certainly, with silly little flowers and dumb odd jobs listed, he wanted to steer clear of her. But instead, he showed up a few days later in her section. It made her stomach twist with nervous butterflies flitting inside. There were a thousand thoughts running through her head as she admired her handsome customer from afar.

“Hi Harry,” she smiled sweetly as she approached his table. “How are you?” She asked politely.

“Good, how are you?” He answered.

“Good,” she responded. “I got new shoes,” she pointed a toe toward him for him to look at the new sneakers she chose. “That was extremely kind and overwhelming. You didn’t need to do that,” she bit the inside of her lip. “I tried to stop you guys from leaving once I realized, but Niall—”

“S’nothing, love,” his cheeks turned the lightest shade of pink at the compliment. Her heart skipped a beat at how adorable he was and looked. “Was a long day for you. I jus’ wanted t’help a little.”

She nodded feeling gratitude overwhelm her—it was thick in her throat. “Seriously, thank you,” she hoped he understood how appreciative she was. “No one’s ever done something like that for me before.”

“S’really no trouble,” he assured her with a smile that melted each of her organs to a puddle. She was lucky she stayed upright.

“I’ll...I’ll be right back,” she turned and bumped into the table that was behind her causing the chair to scrape across the floor.

“Are y’okay, love?” Harry asked suddenly behind her. He gently touched the back of her arm creating a plethora of fireworks on her skin and in her heart. She shook her head and blushed nervously.

“I’m good. Clumsy me. I’ll get you your drink,” she nearly sprinted toward the bar so as not to embarrass herself further.

*

She was chatting with Harry, leaning against the booth. It was easy. Harry wasn’t a man of many words, but he was a great listener and when he did talk, everything he said was so kind and genuine. It was like talking to an old friend. Someone who just knew what she was thinking without her having to say much. There was this familiarity that was so warm it wrapped around her like a blanket. It made her feel so comfortable in his presence.

She never wanted to stop talking to him. Which was probably why she didn’t. Poor Harry listened to her chat his ear off for hours during the time he came to visit over the couple months of the semester. His quiet, “what’s that like?” Or, “do you enjoy this class?” And, “do you have a recommendation?” just kept her talking and talking.

It was hard for her to fathom Harry was there for her. Harry was graduated, had a real job, and made a ton of money it seemed if he was willing to tip a poor waitress an obscene amount of money for new sneakers. His clothes were nice, and his hair was perfectly styled. He always looked like he was ready for a business call.

His friends were extremely nice and friendly. They were also put together in a way that she never dreamed she could be so it was hard to imagine a situation in which Harry might possibly, kind of, have a crush on her the way she had one on him.

She was mid conversation with Harry. The fall semester had end and she was going to pick up more shifts somehow but was definitely going to catch up on sleep as well. She was praying that Harry would put her out of her pining misery and tell her he had a girlfriend one of these days. “You have to try this new dish! It has the brussels sprouts you like and—”

She was swept directly off the floor mid-sentence and was wrapped in a hug. It was familiar in a way that was different than the familiarity of Harry. Because she was used to this kind of hug. “Hey beautiful,” he cooed in her ear.

She smiled excitedly. “Hi, Jake! I thought you weren’t starting till this weekend!”

“I’m not, but I was nearby and thought I could use a dose of pretty,” he winked and headed toward the kitchen without another word.

She blushed and shook her head. “Sorry,” she murmured and turned to look at Harry again and finish the sentence she had started. “Anyway, the brussels spr—”

Harry had come to the restaurant in a lot of moods over the last few months. Tired, frustrated, happy, stressed, excited...she was pretty good at reading his expression and deciding what he needed or wanted to make his day better. This expression was unreadable. His jaw was tensed creating a sharp angle at his jawline she was sure it could have cut glass. His eyes were blank but watching her intensely. All of his muscles appeared taut—his posture ramrod straight. It almost looked uncomfortable. “Are you okay?” She asked softly.

Harry blinked, shook his head quickly, and cleared his throat. “Uh...yeah. Sorry,” he reached for his glass of water and took a large gulp. “Y’were saying something ‘bout brussels sprouts,” he reminded her.

She bit the inside of her lip feeling a shift in the air around them. Something she couldn’t quite pinpoint. “Oh, right...just...I think you’ll like the special.”

He nodded. Still completely unreadable. “I’ll try it, thank you.”

“I’ll go...put that in,” she murmured and headed toward the kitchen.

The kitchen was still greeting Jake when she entered. Everyone was listening to him recount his semester abroad. “Whoa, did you see a ghost?” Niall asked, doing a double take when she entered.

She shook her head and rolled her eyes. “No, it’s nothing,” she punched her code into the computer and tapped the meal for Harry.

“Did Harry tell you he has a girlfriend?” Niall pressed.

“No,” she muttered, her cheeks burning red. She grabbed a plate off the shelf for the other table she was waiting on and made sure it had all the extra sides and things. She grabbed the second dish and placed it on her arm.

“Who’s Harry?” Jake asked.

“The love of her life,” Niall told him.

“Shut up, Niall.”

He chuckled. “Oh? Were you going to tell me about him?”

“I’m a bit busy right now.”

“You couldn’t text me?” Jake asked. Jake had been her best friend on the job since Niall opened the sunflowery place. They were a great dynamic duo. But Jake was into dating a lot of different women and that was totally fine and his prerogative. She didn’t judge him at all for being young and doing what he wanted. But she wanted no part of his love life. So they remained friends and it was truly better that way. He would bail her out if a customer was being rude or coming on too strong. She helped him with his math homework and made sure he remembered to drink something other than protein shakes and alcohol on the weekend.

“There’s nothing to write home about,” she mumbled, lying through her teeth and feeling devastated that something in the air shifted between them in a matter of seconds.

Niall snorted in disbelief. She glared at him. Jake smiled impishly while she gathered the final fixings for the table. “Where is he?” He asked as she pushed on the door.

“Jake,” she choked nearly losing the plate in her left hand.

“Niall, do you know him?” He looked expectantly at him. He smirked, opening his mouth to give him the details.

“Uh—”

“Niall!” She snapped. Niall closed his mouth immediately and shrugged at Jake.

She sighed with relief and pushed through to the restaurant floor. “Table thirty-four!” he shouted, muffled by the closed door. She glanced back to see him hovering over the computer.

It took every ounce of self-control to hold onto the dishes in her arms. She wanted to scream. She hurried to her table to deliver the food, prayed they wouldn’t ask for anything additionally, and then she nearly took out another waiter while running for Harry’s table on the other side of the restaurant.

Jake was letting go of Harry’s hand as she approached, and she shoved Jake out of the way. “I don’t know what he said but it’s not true.”

Harry smirked, a good sign of his normal smile and demeanor. “Y’not friends?” He questioned.

She punched Jake in the arm who barely registered the motion other than lightly rubbing his arm without breaking eye contact with Harry. “Not anymore,” she grumbled.

“She’s my work wife,” Jake said wrapping his arm around her shoulders. “Can’t get her to commit to being my actual wife.”

“Don’t want any diseases,” she muttered. The blank, cold stare in Harry’s eyes returned and she felt so warm she tried to push against Jake but was unsuccessful. “Harry is also in finance,” she explained. “He offered to help me make a new business card—”

“Thank God,” Jake interrupted.

“—and he might know someone for an internship.”

Harry’s answer was gentle even though the cold stare didn’t waver. “Don’t think y’need t’change the business card all that much, love. S’sweet.”

“Childish and unprofessional,” she said pointedly.

“Agreed,” Jake squeezed her to his side. “Thanks for keeping her company while I was gone,” he said. Harry wasn’t a man of many words. But his facial expressions made up for it. He smiled politely, nodded, and glanced at his phone ringing.

“I have t’take this,” his voice was tight, apologetic.

“Of course, let’s go,” she yanked on Jake and headed toward the kitchen again.

“Not sure why you like him, he’s pretty cold,” Jake taunted as they returned to the kitchen.

“Cold?” Niall asked. “Harry makes her feel all warm and fuzzy,” he teased. She wrinkled her nose and definitely felt warm at the insinuation.

“He’s... not himself today,” she admitted. “I don’t know why,” she frowned and turned to Niall. “It’s weird.”

“Darling, you can’t be this brilliant and that stupid at the same time,” Niall pinched the bridge of his nose.

Her frowned deepened and she felt resentment for the notion of being stupid. “What are you—”

“He’s jealous.”

“Of what?”

“Of Jake,” Niall rolled his eyes as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

She snorted. “Why?” She blinked.

“Look at me,” Jake smiled proudly and gestured toward himself self-assuredly.

She eyed him briefly up and down. “What? You look like a tool who’s been abroad,” she remarked.

Jake shook his head, unaffected by her insult. “Think Harry might think I’m competition.”

“Why would he think that?”

“I mean, I did call you my wife.”

Niall laughed. “Oh God, poor Harry.”

Her face flamed. “I said we were friends!” She pouted. “Oh my God. Go back abroad,” she shoved him toward the door. “You are the worst.”

“Easy, love,” Jake continued to taunt, this time in Harry’s accent. “I can fix it,” he offered and headed back for Harry’s table quicker than she could catch him. But when they got there, his table was empty. A note scribbled on a napkin in Harry’s writing. Family emergency. Sorry :( Was looking forward to the brussels sprouts. You can have it on me. Next time. He left cash for the food and a tip anyway. Even though he never got his meal.

She pocketed the money and punched Jake in the arm one more time for good measure.

*

“You’re being ridiculous, you know that, right?” Sarah asked. “I know we aren’t best friends with her or anything, but she’s really nice. She wouldn’t lead you on like that.”

Harry knew that. Really, he did. But the emotion he was feeling wasn’t rational. Jake called her his wife and had his arm around her. He hugged her like he loved her. Harry was certain Jake loved her. Even in a way that wasn’t necessarily romantic, but it was...unfair. Unfair that Harry hadn’t told her he liked her. Nervous that he would make her uncomfortable by hitting on her while she was working.

“She wasn’t leading me on at all,” Harry murmured.

“All the more of a reason to not be ridiculous,” Sarah and Mitch had taken turns telling him it was childish to ignore her after all those months of chatting with her and entrenching himself as a regular and then to just not because he was jealous.

“Just because you’re jealous—”

“M’not jealous,” he grumbled.

“Right, because someone who’s not jealous would leave before he got his food because her friend called her his work wife. Someone who’s not jealous would suddenly stop being her regular after months.”

Like clockwork.

Harry was lying on the couch at Sarah and Mitch’s place face down trying to ignore the feeling of his heart breaking. No one said anything for several minutes. Sarah was working on cleaning the kitchen when Harry arrived, and Mitch suggested getting pizza. Harry wasn’t even hungry. Well, he was, but he wanted brussels sprouts.

“I might be jealous,” he admitted.

“Hallelujah,” Sarah sighed. “Talk to her.”

“Don’t y’think she’ll be grossed out that ��ve basically been...stalking her because I like her?”

“Hello!” Sarah nearly shouted. “She likes you too!”

Harry was flooded with warmth at the idea. “She’s never said anything,” he mumbled.

“You’re her customer,” Mitch rolled his eyes. “As worried you’ve been about flirting with her while she’s working. She’s probably just as worried.”

It couldn’t have been that easy or simple.

Could it?

*

Harry was reading his schedule for the day on his computer. They were regular appointments with clients that he had in on a regular basis. He had just returned from the breakroom after an hour-long meeting and was seeing what was next or if he would have some downtime for paperwork in before his next client. The schedule looked normal. Except for the one meeting blocked off for ten-thirty. “Hey, Kate,” he called to his secretary outside his office. “Do y’know who scheduled—”

But Harry wasn’t paying attention to the time, and it was already ten-twenty-five and she walked into his office.

He dropped the pen he was holding above the calendar. His lips parted as she entered.

“Your ten-thirty is here!” Kate called.

Harry was going to fire her.

It had been two weeks since he had seen her. He wasn’t sure how it was possible, but she looked more beautiful. Or maybe it was because his office was light, mostly the sun coming through the windows and made her practically glow. Like she really was a sunflower. “Hi,” he murmured.

She wasn’t in her typical waitressing uniform. Her hair wasn’t pulled back. Harry didn’t know she could be more beautiful than when she was waitressing, but she was wearing regular clothes, a blue dress that fell to her knees and she seriously took on the beauty of a sunflower, it was astounding. “Hi,” she said.

“Y’can close the door,” he offered. “D’you want something t’drink?” He turned away from her and heard the door click shut. He went to the mini fridge on the back windowsill in the corner of his office holding a few small bottles of water. “Y’can sit,” he gestured to the chair. She did. He placed the bottle in front of her and sat across from her behind his desk. They were both silent for a moment. Harry took a deep breath. “I’m sorry,” he murmured.

“Harry, I have this absurd love for numbers. People have looked at me funny since I was young. It’s like this really complicated puzzle in my head and I just want to solve it. None of the little parts make sense together until they do. The answer is so beautiful when all those pieces click, and the flow of your logic comes down to this one singular answer and it’s just perfect.”

Harry wondered if there had ever been a poem written about numbers. Or if what she said was the very first one. Harry was pretty passionate about his work, and he was glad he made pretty good money. But he didn’t think he could ever chat about numbers the way she did.

“I feel that way when I’m around you. That all this logic just beautifully clicks into place. You make me feel normal for liking numbers. You’re extremely kind and you don’t...” she bit the inside of her lip and looked at her hands in her lap. “I don’t know why I feel this way but you...you stopped coming to eat, I don’t know why, and I don’t know what I did. I want to fix it because I’ve enjoyed getting to know you and I thought we were friends. Then we weren’t. I liked picking out which special of the week you would enjoy. Maybe I’m too young or something to be friends? I can’t help that. Maybe it was because Jake called me child—”

“Don’t,” he shook his head unable to hear the name.

“So it is about him,” she frowned. “I don’t...Harry, it’s not fair to keep me out of the loop about what you’re feeling! I can’t fix whatever I did—”

“You didn’t do anything.”

“Then why did you stop coming to eat?” her voice cracked.

Harry wanted to jump out a window for making her feel insecure and nervous. If she cried he was done for. He sighed exasperated with his own miscommunication. His cheeks felt warm as they always did when he embarrassed himself around her. “Y’not too young,” he looked at her, but it felt like he was looking right through her. Like he could see right into her brain and read every word that was waiting to exit her mouth. “You’re not childish,” he affirmed. “You are...” He shook his head. “You are perfect,” he assured her. “I didn’t want t’ask y’out while y’were working. S’kinda rude. Then Jake called you his wife—”

“I’m gonna kill him,” she whispered.

Harry ignored her comment (even though it made his heart feel the slightest bit better). “—I really like you. I think you’re way too smart for me. Way too kind. And y’work in a place surrounded with beautiful sunflowers and I can’t stop looking at you,” his heart felt heavy, the butterflies in his stomach were trying to escape. He used every ounce of his effort to read her unreadable expression as he watched her process everything he said.

“You think I’m beautiful?” She whispered.

He snorted. Of all the things she could focus on at a moment like that. “Love, y’have t’know you are.”

She shook her head. “I’m always sweaty and working when you see me.”

“Well seems y’had some proper prep time today,” he looked at her with a soft gaze that he hoped didn’t seem too excessive. “Y’look more beautiful.”

Her eyes seemed to melt with relief. “You were jealous?” She asked.

“Course I was,” he nodded easily. Like it made the most sense in the world.

“But... you never said anything.”

“I didn’t want t’make you uncomfortable,” he repeated. “I can’t imagine how many people hit on you while you’re working.”

She frowned. “Naturally not the person I want,” she grumbled cutely. Harry felt lighter. He smiled.

“Sorry,” he whispered.

She shifted awkwardly in her seat but smiled. “I uh...I came here to tell you off.”

He chuckled. “I would deserve that,” he agreed. “I... I have something for you,” he opened the top right drawer to his desk. “Saw it, and...it's not much, but it reminded me of you," his eyes were so gentle it made her heart skip a beat. He held out the little cardboard rectangle. It might not have "been much" but it was everything. A thin gold chain, a sunflower crystal pendant the lightest shade of yellow. "Love?" he asked quietly after a moment of her staring at the most thoughtful gift she had ever received. For another moment they just gazed at one another. Unmoving. Harry was wearing a button down, rolled up to his elbows. He looked at ease, finally. His cheeks flushed. His eyes so green and beautiful. She could barely breathe.

Then finally, Harry spoke again.

"Would you like t'go out with me?"

--

general taglist: @justlemmeadoreyou @daydreamingofmatilda @sunshinemoonsposts @loving-hazz @likeapplejuicenpeach

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I'm sorry if I missed anyone in the taglist. Please let me know if you'd like to join, if it didn't work, if you no longer want to be included, etc. :)

If you like this, check out my masterlist here

[livinginshambles]

You're ridiculous, you know | James Potter

Pairing: James Potter x fem!Reader

Word Count: 4.0k

Summary: Part one Masterlist

James sees you in a new light and wants to try to change the way you see him too, moment by moment. He is trying to win you over but understands that you're having a hard time believing that he's genuine about his feeling because of his sudden switch of focus from Lily to you (even though it gave him whiplash as well, but I guess he just accepted it faster.)

Notes: Best friend!James, he's less stupid, Lily is a sweet friend, fluff, pining, misunderstandings, (best) friends to lovers I guess, spelling mistakes probably because I typed this out on my phone.



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With the hatch buried between you and James, you felt like you could finally properly breathe again. James had apologized again, of course and told you that he supported your new style.

Trying to balance your two friends groups however, did prove to be much more difficult than you thought. Neither of the two seemed very entertained by the thought of hanging out together as one group. Besides, James had become rather clingy as well, becoming his very own one man group to balance hanging out with.

"I now have abandonment fears," he jokingly defended when you raised your eyebrows at his arm, wrapped around your waist instead of your shoulder like usual while you two were walking down the open court yard.

"Right," you replied, seemingly not very impressed. You knew what he was trying to do, especially after your rejection. After all, save from Lily, he'd never actually been rejected. You assumed that this too, was a matter of pride. "You have nothing to prove you know," you told him and he merely hummed in reply.

"And anyway, you'll have to let me go now because my mum sent over some dresses for me. I'm planning on trying them on with the girls."

The grip on your waist tightened.

"No," he pleaded, "Don't leave me." He dramatically leaned his entire weight on you, dragging you down as well. Was he always this heavy? You incredulously thought.

"James, you'll make us both fall! Get up you're-"

"The earth is dragging me down. I can't help it, Love," he said in a playful, strained voice.

"Unless you want to spend the afternoon giving your opinion on dresses, I suggest you fight back against the earth, oh brave Gryffindor." You retorted, amusement clear in your voice.

James immediately straightened up. "Sure, I'll review your dresses," he happily replied.

‘Well’, you contemplated. You supposed it’s not as if you've never gotten dressed around eachother.”



Your mum had been very delighted at the news that she could go ahead and send over a dress through the mail. She went a tad bit overboard though, you thought as you looked at the heap of clothes on your bed.

James was sitting next to the said heap, waiting patiently for you to get changed in the bathroom. A pit formed in his stomach at the thought that he'd made things weird enough for you to want to get dressed in the bathroom. 'I mean, you've seen eachother naked before?' He thought. Not that he was aiming to see you naked of course.

His hands weaved through the beautiful clothes. He was sure they'd all look splendid on you. Would you go with him to the Yule Ball? His heart clenched. Probably not. You rejected a date with him to Hogsmeade. No way were you going to accept going to the ball together.

James stared out of the window, a lost feeling washing over him. How could he turn this around? Would you ever look at him that way?

The door opened and James' breath stopped, literally. It was simply perfect.

Mesmerizing, he thought.

'Merlin this was only the very first dress, how would his heart survive the dozen other dresses? You looked radiant. Like actually radiant. The dress made you glow with beauty and confidence. The color was what he could only describe as your color and made you look like bloody royalty.' He knew his opinion was biased, but it was still the truth, he thought.

And so his mind started racing. You were going to go to the ball, looking like that, with a date who was someone else. Jealousy flared up at the thought. He had to internally slap himself to shake him out of it.

You had taken his long silence as a negative opinion and quickly brought your arms to fold over your middle, covering yourself. "Not this one then?" You asked.

"No. I-I mean yes, sorry. I was distracted."

You felt slight disappointment at his words. Another sinking feeling in your stomach, but you reasoned with yourself that he just wasn’t used to doing this sort of activity with you. "You don't have to do this you know." You gently said and sat down next to him.

"Do you have a date to the ball?" He blurted out in response.

You were taken aback by the change of subject but shrugged. "There's been a few people who’ve asked, but I don't know. I've never talked to them before and it feels a little superficial that they only now would ask me out, just because they noticed I look and dress differently."

James could feel his heart plummet even lower if that was possible. Did you think that about him as well? You wouldn't be wrong of course. He'd only started to view you in a different light when you decided to go for a different style, and stopped only hanging out with the marauders after all. Guilt started to weigh his mind.

"Are you going to ask Lily out?" You tentatively asked.

"Of course," he automatically responded, without having processed the question. Your face fell a little. A confirmation, you thought. You were right. Maybe you'd have to accept one of the student' proposals for the Yule Ball after all.

James’ eyes widened and he quickly averted his eyes when you unzipped your dress right next to him. "The bathroom?!" He sqeaked out in panic.

You put on a grin. "Well, you look like you're bored and me taking my time in the bathroom will take too long. I guess I could just very quickly change here. Besides, you've seen me naked before."

James was somehow feeling more hurt at the prospect of you getting changed in front of him, than hiding in the bathroom. It meant that you really only saw him as a friend, he sighed.

You on the other hand, decided that you were hellbent on refusing to let your dynamic with James change because of unrequited feelings.



James was lying on his bed, wide awake. He couldn't sleep, mind wandering off to you, and he rolled around in frustration at himself and yelled into his pillow. Ashamed, he looked around if the he'daccidentally woken anyone up. He didn't.

He was restless. None of his subtle advances had apparently been noticed by you. And if they had, then you'd blatantly ignored them. James wasn't sure which option he liked better.

Tears of frustration and misery welled up in his eyes. He'd seen you get asked out by three different people today, and every time, his heart would stop, scared that you'd say yes.

The past few days, his eyes couldn't leave your figure as you went off to hang out with Lily, and he cursed himself for never having noticed you, too focused on Lily. He groaned and turned around again in his bed. "You're the perfect best friend," is what you had told him this morning when he had saved you from an awkward conversation with a seventh year Ravenclaw. His stomach had dropped.

'But you agreed to hang out with just him,' he kept telling himself in reassurance. Tomorrow was finally weekend and an off day which meant it was time for your not-date. At the thought, his heart lightened, and he managed to finally fall asleep.



You really weren't complaining at all. If anything you couldn't help your body from completely leaning into James who had once again wrapped his arms around your waist. Arms that were firmly holding on to you as if to not let you leave his side.

A week had passed since he asked you out on a date, and you and James were finally off to Hogsmeade together, your own heart both seering, as well as clenching at the thought that this was merely considered 'hanging out'.

Yes, you'd very much wanted it to be a date. Exactly like James had described it. Just the two of you, together on a date, which in a way was kind of what you were doing right now, even if you denied calling it that.

And if you weren't absolutely sure that you were setting yourself up for disappointment and heartbreak at the prospect of not working out because of his feelings for Lily, you would've definitely agreed with the biggest grin on your face.

But you were sure that that's what you'd be setting yourself up for. And having conflict avoiding tendencies had you make rational decisions such as then. Besides, the fact that he was going to ask Lily out to the Yule Ball confirmed that you had made the right decision.

'Could've been a date though', your mind seemed to whisper, and you grimaced. 'And then what,' you thought. 'Even if he settles for me, it would just be unfair for both of us. He never gets to be truly happy and I never get to be truly loved.' You scoffed.

"You okay, Love?" James shook you out of your train of thoughts, a concerned look on his face and he slowed his pace to a stop to properly look at you. His hands found their way to the sides of your face, his eyes searching yours.

You turned your head to the left and stuck out your tongue. He jerked away in surprise with a loud laugh. "That's foul!" He yelled. He was about to wipe his hand on his trousers when he stopped and then looked contemplatively from his hand to you and back.

Your grin was wiped off your face at the sight of the mischievous twinkle in his eyes and wasted no time to sprint off.

"You keep that hand to yourself Potter!" You shouted with a laugh.

"Absolutely not, you get back here!"

"This is a new dress, no way I'm letting you wipe your hand on it!" You quickly shot back and looked behind you to see him quickly catching up on you.

You watched with a face of disdain as he calmly wiped his hands with your sleeves, holding you in a headlock. "So unfair", you muttered.

James childishly stuck his tongue out and released you from his grasp.

It had you tumbling to the ground. "Hey!"

"Alright truce?" He asked and he stuck his hand out, both to seal the deal as well as help you up.

When you moved to shake his hand, he smirked. 'Oh so naive. You should know better.'

You noticed the trap far too late and weren't able to pull your hand back fast enough-

"James! Now that's foul!" You shrieked at his wet hand. Undoubtedly, because he'd spit in it moments before.

James was doubling over in laughter, and you took the opportunity to wipe your hands on his sweater. He let you.

“You’re ridiculous you know,” you shook your head.

“And you not at all,” he grinned. James wrapped his arms securely around your waist again, and you continued to head to Hogsmeade.



James looked at you from the bar counter. He was waiting for the drinks he ordered and admired you from afar. You were already sitting at a table in the corner for two and were munching on some snacks you had fished out of your bag, waving at him with a warm smile when you caught his gaze.

Sure, up until recently, he’d always seen you as the cool best friend that he could share everything with, tackle to the ground, tell gross jokes to, or get shirtless around when changing clothes. He was used to not at all treating you differently than Sirius, Remus or Peter, because in his eyes, you belonged to the same category.

But now, even though James also absolutely didn’t want your dynamic to change, he was conflicted because he finally saw you in a different light. He just had to try and make you see him in a different light as well.

The bartender gave him his drinks and he walked over to you with a grin. “Pick one,” he told you, still standing next to you and holding the mugs behind his back.

“Left,” you chose without hesitation. He put the mug in front of you and you looked suspiciously in the mug. At the sight of the green liquid you squinted your eyes at him. He put his own mug down and you leaned over the table to peer into it as well. Blue.

“Are you trying to poison us both?”

James snorted and sat down in front of you, “You got me.”

You kicked his leg under the table and he pretended to be in excruciating pain. “You wound me, Love,” He groaned exaggeratedly, all the way slouched down his chair and gripping his leg to sell his point.

“Want me to kiss it better?”, you teased and then immediately awkwardly paused. See this would’ve been a normal thing to say if you said this a month ago, but now it just made things weird. James however was grinning from ear to ear, absolutely soaking in the thought and cheekily replied, “Oh, darling, you must.”

‘Alright cheeky bastard’, you thought. Shaking your head with a chuckle, you moved your chair back and ducked under the table. James' eyes widened in shock, especially when you grabbed his leg.

“Drinking all by yourself?” Frank’s voice had both of you freeze up.

You moved to get up from your crouched position, planning on using a fallen hair tie as an excuse when James blurted out a different excuse. “No, just waiting for Y/N, she went to the bathroom.” You groaned and hit your head repeatedly against James’ knee.

Great, now it would be weird if you just crawled out from under the table.

“Y/N? I was actually looking for her, I mean we’re partners for potions class. You know what, I’ll just wait with you then.”

‘No!” James said, a little too loud, before he could help himself. He cleared his throat. “I mean uh,” James leaned in towards Frank and quietly, as if he was telling a secret, gleefully added, “We’re actually on a date.”

You playfully slapped his leg in a scolding manner.

Frank immediately seemed to get it and wished him good luck before leaving the table.

You scrambled out quickly and when your eyes met, you both burst out in laughter.



Despite your fear that dynamics would change and your resolve that you wouldn't allow it, you didn't mind the change so much if this was how it was going to be from now on, you thought to yourself. James had dramatically thrown himself half on top of you, head buried right under your breasts.

"Rough Quidditch practice", he'd mumbled before collapsing and absolutely melting like snow for the sun into you when you weaved your fingers through his curly locks, the other hand rubbing at the nape of his neck.

When you had tried to pull your hands away to retrieve your book from the bag next to you to pass the time while James seemed passed out, James had whined in protest, grabbing your hands and placing them back on his head.

"Prongs," you tried after a long time but received no answer. you lifted your hands from his head again and finally got a grumbled "What."

"Supper,' you softly spoke.

"Five more minutes, please?"

As if you could deny that request. After another few 'five more minutes' you finally gently pushed him off, both of you sitting up. He looked around, dazed, his eyes drooping and hair messy.

You entered the great hall with James trailing behind you, holding your hand. Peter spotted you and waved you over. James squished himself between Sirius and you, ignoring the other spot front of you that the marauders had saved for him.

"Blimey Y/N, what have you done with Prongs?!" Sirius asked, a horriefied expression adorning his face when James lazily rested his face in your neck. You laughed at his antics and shrugged, getting complaints from James at your movements.

Remus handed you two plates of food. "We saved these for you two."

"Thanks Moony," you gratefully accepted them and poked James with a fork. "Eat, you big baby," you said and pushed the fork in his hand. James internally groaned. But he was so comfortable like this. Why couldn't he just stay like this forever? He reluctantly sat up straight and started eating. He was hungry after all.

"Hey Potter, mind if we steal Y/N for a second?"

"Go away McKinnon," he was quick to respond and stuck out his tongue pettily. "She stays with me, you already had her the entire day."

You amusedly watched them banter. "I think you'll find that I will choose myself where I go, Prongs." And got up from your seat, moving down the long table to sit next to Lily.

"So what the hell was that Prongs?" Sirius inquired as soon as you were out of hearing range. Peter and Remus curiously looked at him.

"Oh, did I forget to tell you guys that I fancy Y/N?"

"Yeah that too, even if it was absolutely obvious," Peter shrugged.

Remus laughed at James' gaping expression. "What Padfoot meant was are you guys like a thing now? Like did we miss something? I thought you said she kinda rejected a date with you?"

James sighed dejectedly. "Yeah, she did." He straightened up again. But I'm working on it though."

Lily nudged you. "So I don't know if I should thank you or pity you."

"Huh?"

"I mean, thank you for getting James to stop pursuing me, but I'm sorry you have to deal with him now," she laughed.

Marlene wiggled her eyebrows at you. "Unless you don't mind having to deal with him of course," she smirked. "You looked pretty comfy," she added.

Alice nodded her head in agreement. "Frank told me you two went on a date last week apparently."

Your friends gasped dramatically and you were quick to deny it. "No, James just said that so Frank would leave us alone," you said and swatted Dorcas when she suggestively wiggled her eyebrows at you. "Ugh, you guys, be nice to me," you complained while laughing. "We're just friends hanging out, besides he still likes you Lils, look he's still staring at you," you said that last part with a sigh.

Lily raised her eyebrows. "Not at me, he's not." She nudged you again. "Look," she urged you.

You turned your head to look at James and your eyes met. He couldn't help but wink and felt very victorious when you looked away flusteredly, a big smile on your face.

'Could it be?'



Over the course of the next few weeks, James and you had gotten a lot closer. By now, you and James walked through the hallways, his hand always touching you somehow, whether he was holding yours, had his arm slung around your shoulders, waist, or lower back.

You also found yourself hanging around the boys dormitory alone with James more often than ever before. You were laying horizontally across his bed, your head hanging off the side of the bed. James went to the bathroom and you were passing the time.

You kept sliding forward bit by bit and when you were hanging low enough to look under James' bed, a brilliant plan to jumpscare him popped up in your brain. Perfect. You quickly moved to hide under his bed. Your hands ready to grab his ankles when he returned.

The door opened and you held your breath in anticipation. You peeked from underneath the drapes, covering your body and saw him look around surprisedly before a mischievous grin appeared on his face.

He called out your name to be certain and when you didn't respond, he pumped his fist excitedly and hurried to hide inside the wardrobe on the other side of the room, undoubtedly having the same idea as you and you couldn't suppress your laugh anymore. You rolled out from under the bed grinning like an idiot.

James joined you on the floor, although he did seem a little bit bummed out that he hadn't been able to prank you. "I guess genius recognizes genius," he admitted with a laugh.

"I have to go to the library to study," you bit your lip while you said it. Disappointed at the thought of breaking the peace.

James turned his head and looked over at you. You were so close. For a moment, he closed his eyes, relishing in the moment of having you within arms reach like that.

When he reopened his eyes, they flickered over your face and rested a little longer on your lips. It wouldn't take more than him leaning in to easily capture your lips and it took everything in him not to. It almost pained him literally. You turned your head towards James due to the lack of response, checking if everything was alright and if he had heard you when you said you needed to go.

"You're mesmerizing," he whispered softly, the words always on the back of his mind since he saw you in the first dress. You chuckled at that. "Using big words now, huh," you whispered back teasingly, a fond expression on your face.

"No, really."

Those two words left you speechless in surprise. You don't know what it was. Perhaps the sincerity on his face or in his tone. Perhaps the way he emphasized that he really meant it. Or maybe even the way he was looking at you right then. 

Whatever it was, it made you throw your reservations and resolve straight out of the window.

Rational decisions were the last thing on your mind when your eyes locked with James' and then you were both leaning in, meeting each other halfway in a soft, fleeting kiss.

"I think you're mesmerizing as well," You murmured against his lips and you could feel them curl up in a smile.



"You're such an arsehole," you laughed, slapping his ice cold hands away. You ended up not going to the library to study. After all, who needs studying anyway? Instead you and James had curled up against each other on his bed, entangled together and James decided to slide his freezing hands under your shirt, resting on your stomach.

"No, I'm mesmerizing," he huffed and attempted to warm his hands again.

"Did you even wash your hands when you returned from the bathroom?"

There was a long pause and you stared up at him incredulously. "James Potter! You are disgusting," you exclaimed.

“Oh don’t tell me you’ve never forgotten to wash your hands after going to the toilet!”

“Yeah, but I don’t have to hold the- the thing.”

James laughed loudly.

“You suck,” you huffed.

He held his hands up in mock surrender. "I can't be that bad, I won you over in less than a month," he wore a triumphant smile on his face and you wanted nothing more than to smack it off. You didn't of course, and instead buried your face in his neck in embarrassment while grumbling about arrogance. You two hadn't really talked about the kiss that happened 10 minutes prior.

Absolutely refusing to let you pull back mentally and physically, James had been quick to mention how uncomfortable your position on the floor really was, and he proposed to lay down on his bed instead where he changed the topic while still getting comfortable with you. It was his way of letting you know that he wasn't trying to skim over the fact that you kissed or ignore the fact that it happened, but rather that he wanted to ease the tension by doing so.

You were relieved and thankful for him, knowing that that tension would have absolutely made things too awkward for you, and that you would've definitely fled from the room in denial.

"I think I fancy you, James," you eventually quietly admitted to him, your voice muffled as your face was still hidden away.

His grip on you tightened and he pulled you even closer, pressing a kiss to your forehead. "Yeah?" he breathed out, his heart soaring.

"Yeah."

"I fancy you too, Love." And with that you tilted your head up far enough to place your lips in a firm kiss right under his jaw.

There was another comfortable silence and then, "So, how about a proper date. You and me, us, together." He quickly clarified the last part.

You laughed out loud. "Yes please, Hogsmeade?"

"Actually, I was thinking maybe the Yule Ball."

[svt-luna]

Hi sweetie 🍓🌹🌹 I hope you have a nice day/night 💕 Can you add this to Luna's YouTube series? 🍓. It would be fun to read. (When Mingyu gets jealous of Jeonghan because of Luna and vice versa) 🌿 And thanks in advance I really appreciate your efforts ♥️

ᡴꪫ ⋆ JEALOUSY NEVER LOOKED THIS GOOD: INSIDE THE JEONGHAN-LUNA-MINGYU TRIANGLE ࣪ ! ˓ ౨ৎ ࣪˖ ─── now playing…

synopsis: A glimpse inside the most famous love triangle in k-pop history, most specifically the jealousy between Jeonghan and Mingyu over Luna who couldn't care less.

thank you for such kind words!! i apologize if this took so long and thank you for being patient. i hope you enjoy this as much as i enjoyed writing it 🤍 (also, these fan made youtube videos might be my favorite ones to write… so request more!!)

╰ ౨ৎ LUNA-VERSE MASTERLIST ╰ ౨ৎ youtube compilations

[added captions are in brackets] ᡣ𐭩

bold dialogues are spoken in english ᡣ𐭩

indented italics are additional voice overs ᡣ𐭩

Here we go!

Buckle up, cause this is going to be a crazy ride.

Welcome back to another installment of “I want to be Bae Jiyeon 101” where we embark on a journey of self discovery of how blessed this woman is.

This videos is gonna focus on THE love triangle. Most specifically Mingyu and Jeonghan's jealous moments and Luna being clueless the entire time.

Enough chit chat… let’s begin… in the beginning… the video that started it all…

GOING SEVENTEEN EP 8: INSOMNIA ZERO #1

The camera panned over the dimly lit room, capturing the cozy, playful atmosphere of ‘Going Seventeen's Insomnia Zero’ set. The members sat on the mat, huddled together, all eyes fixed on the mattress where Luna lay.

[look how pretty she is]

[Sleeping Beauty fr fr]

It was round one, and the challenge was simple: keep your heart rate steady while the rest of the members tried their best to break it. With S.Coups absent due to his hiatus, the group had a mix of playful competitiveness and chaos, eager to see who could withstand the pressure and be able to go home early.

Luna, being ninth in their official order, was up next. She settled onto the mattress, her expression calm as she closed her eyes. The heart monitor pulsed softly, a subtle rhythm that would betray her slightest change in composure. The room’s lights dimmed further, casting a soft glow that highlighted the anticipation in the air.

Jeonghan, Joshua, Jun, Hoshi, Wonwoo, Woozi, and Minghao had already taken their turns, some more successful than others. Now, it was Luna’s moment to shine— or falter. The members crowded together on her right side, their eyes gleaming with mischief.

[I’m not gonna lie… lowkey scared to be their friend]

[like the dirt they must have on each other… chile]

They had one job: to get her heart rate to spike, and they were going to give it their all. The silence stretched for a beat before Jeonghan, ever the instigator, leaned forward with a grin. “Remember when Luna almost tripped on stage during our debut showcase? She blamed it on the stage lights.”

[A FUCKING MENACE]

[leave my baby alone 🥺]

Joshua chuckled, adding, “Yeah, and the way she tried to play it off like nothing happened? Amazing.” Luna’s lips twitched slightly, but she remained composed, her breathing steady.

Hoshi, not one to be outdone, chimed in. “Or that time during our trainee days when she tried to sneak extra snacks into the dorms? She thought no one noticed, but we all saw her stash in the fridge.”

[she’s adorable pls]

“She tried to bribe us with those snacks so we wouldn’t tell on her?” Seungkwan added, his voice tinged with laughter.

Woozi, with a rare smirk, joined in, “And the way she panicked when the trainers started asking why we were all so energetic during practice?”

“She’s shameless!” Seungkwan pointed at Luna. “Till this day, nobody knew she was sneaking food.”

[MY CLIENT IS NOT GUILTY, YOUR HONOR!]

The members burst into quiet laughter, the sound filling the room as they continued their playful banter. Luna, despite the barrage of teases and memories, remained still, her heart rate holding steady.

Dokyeom leaned in closer, his voice soft but clear, “Do you remember that one time when we were practicing late, and noona fell asleep on the practice room floor? We all left her there because we didn’t want to wake her up.”

[What is wrong with them honestly?]

[THEY LEGIT LEFT HER]

[I would have never spoke to them for a month]

Jeonghan’s eyes sparkled with mischief as he added, “She was so embarrassed the next morning, that she couldn’t look any of us in the eye for days.”

Luna’s calm facade wavered ever so slightly, the corner of her mouth twitching as if she was fighting back a smile.

[SHE’S SO FUCKING CUTE HELP]

The members exchanged glances, sensing they were close to breaking her. Hoshi leaned over, his voice a mock whisper, “Do you think she’s actually asleep right now? Or is she just pretending just like the time she didn’t want to practice?”

[BAHAHAHAHHAAHA]

[Thats the dance leader in him]

There was a pause, a collective breath held, as they waited for any sign that they had finally cracked her resolve. But Luna, ever composed, maintained her steady breathing, refusing to let them win so easily.

[Luna really said: 😴]

Jeonghan, seeing the challenge in her unwavering calm, leaned in closer, his voice low and teasing. “I broke your Wall-E Lego.”

[He wants to die I’m afraid]

The members laughed at his confession, knowing how precious Luna’s Legos are to her.

“I dropped it,” Jeonghan added before continuing, “His eye popped off.”

“There has to be missing pieces for sure.” Wonwoo added, smirking.

[I’D GO FERAL]

[they love to tease her it’s actually insane]

The room fell silent, the members watching with bated breath as they waited for her reaction. But Luna remained still, her heart rate steady, her expression serene.

[She’s iconic]

[I actually thought she was sleeping at first when I watched this]

The room was filled with a mix of disappointment and playful frustration as the members realized they are failing to faze Luna.

Seungkwan, ever the expressive one, was the first to voice their collective thoughts. “Seriously, how is she so thick-skinned?” he groaned, throwing his hands up in mock exasperation. “It’s like nothing gets to her!”

[IT’S A SKILL]

[she’s just THAT bitch]

Joshua nodded in agreement, his arms crossed as he leaned back. “It’s going to be impossible to beat her. She doesn’t even flinch.”

“It goes in ear and out the other.”

“Maybe she’s actually sleeping.”

“No, she smiled earlier.”

[THE FACT THAT THEY WERE MOSTLY COMPLAINING IS HILARIOUS TO ME]

“Ya, Jiyeon-ah,” Jeonghan said, using her real name with a teasing lilt. “Are you even human? Cause yo–”

[istg he had a pick-up line after that!]

[YOU COULD VISIBLY SEE HIM STOP THE WORDS FROM SPILLING OUT HIS GODDAMN MOUTH]

[don’t be a lady part Jeonghan fucking say it!]

[that would have gotten her heart rate going 😪]

The playful banter continued, the members tossing ideas back and forth on how to get through Luna’s seemingly impenetrable exterior. It was all in good fun, a testament to how well they knew each other after years of working and living together.

Then, amid the lively chatter, Mingyu, who had been quietly observing, suddenly spoke up. His tone was light, but there was a hint of something more serious beneath it as he called out, “Noona, do you know I have a crush on you?”

[WHEN I TELL YOU I FELL OF MY DAMN BED WHEN I FIRST WATCHED THIS… I FELL FACE FIRST]

[Haters would say he was joking, his own members would say he was joking, Luna herself might say he was joking but I know damn well…]

[KIM MINGYU WAS SERIOUS]

[LOOK AT HIS FACEEEEE]

[LOOK. AT. IT.]

[HE WAS DEAD SERIOUS I’M BEING FOR REAL RIGHT NOW?!!]

[I AM THE BIGGEST JEONGNA SHIPPER BUT MINGNA IS A CLOSE SECONNNNNDDD]

The words hung in the air for a moment, the room falling into an abrupt silence.

[LOOK]

[LOOK]

[LOOK AT HOW SHOCKED THEY ALL FUCKING LOOKED]

[AINT NO MOTHERFUCKING WAY]

Luna’s heart rate monitor pulsed noticeably faster, betraying the calm demeanor she had maintained so well. Her fists clenched slightly, and though she quickly composed herself, the spike in her heart rate had already given her away.

The other members immediately reacted, their voices rising in a chorus of playful “ooohs” and shrieks. They leaned back, clapping and laughing as if they were in on a well-played joke, but there was an underlying current of knowing in their eyes.

[LOOK AT HOW THEY WERE ALL EXCHANGING LOOKS]

[AM I INSANE?!? TELL ME I CAN’T BE THE ONLY ONE SEEING THIS!?]

They knew Mingyu for years, they all grew up and trained together. This wasn’t just a joke, but a carefully veiled truth that they all understood, yet chose to play off lightly.

“Ya, Mingyu-ya!” Seungkwan shouted, pointing at him with a wide grin. “You really went there, huh?”

“That’s one way to get her heart rate up!” Hoshi added, his laughter contagious as he nudged Minghao.

[They all acting sus as fuck]

Luna, despite the playful atmosphere, could feel the heat rising to her cheeks. She knew Mingyu well enough to sense the sincerity behind his words, but this wasn’t the time or place to delve into it. They had to keep it light, for the sake of the fans watching and to avoid any unnecessary rumors.

[JIYEON IS FIGHTING DEMONS RN]

[QUEEN SHIT THO, SHE DID NOT FLINCH AT ALL]

The other members continued to laugh and tease, creating a buffer of lightheartedness that allowed the moment to pass without it becoming too serious. But beneath the surface, there was an unspoken understanding between them all— especially between Luna and Mingyu. They played it off well, but the truth had slipped through, even if just for a moment.

As the laughter and playful teasing from the group began to die down, a subtle shift in the atmosphere could be felt, though it went unnoticed by most.

[GUYS I’M BEING SO FR RIGHT NOW. THERE WAS SOMETHING THERE!]

[the awkward tension!!! It was very much there!!]

[Now let us visit exhibit A: Jealous Yoon Jeonghan]

Amid the chaos of Mingyu’s sudden “confession” and Luna’s reaction, Jeonghan sat quietly in his place, his usual playful demeanor subdued. His eyes were trained on Mingyu, a gaze that held a depth of thought that contrasted with the lightheartedness of the moment.

[ZOOM IN ON FUCKING JEONGHAN RN]

[I– AM UNWELL]

[bro– istg this is not normal behavior]

[the fact that some people just dismiss this as Jeonghan’s normal tired self… he’s pissed bro]

Jeonghan wasn’t one to miss details, and he had seen the way Mingyu’s expression had flickered with something more than just playful banter when he had uttered those words to Luna. The easy-going grin, the way his eyes had softened just a fraction—Jeonghan knew Mingyu well enough to recognize when there was truth hidden beneath a joke.

The others were still caught up in the aftermath of the confession, their voices a mix of lingering laughter and exaggerated exclamations. Seungkwan was playfully pretending to faint in the background, clutching his chest dramatically, while Hoshi was nudging and whispering to Dino as if the two were plotting the next way to get Luna’s heart rate to spike even further.

But Jeonghan was silent, his mind replaying the moment in his head. Mingyu’s words had caught everyone off guard, but none more so than him.

[bro is pouting hard rn]

[JEONGHAN GET TF UP]

Jeonghan’s gaze shifted, landing on Luna, who was still trying to shake off the surprise of the moment. She still had her eyes closed accompanied by a subtle smile, playing along with the rest, but there was a subtle tension in the way her shoulders were held, a slight stiffness that hinted at the unexpectedness of Mingyu’s words.

[GOOD GOD. LOOK AT HIM STARING AT HER LIKE THAT]

[Jiyeon I love you girl but move it’s my turn]

Luna, meanwhile, had finally managed to get her heart rate back under control, though the earlier spike had been significant enough to cause some lingering amusement among the members.

The lights brightened slightly, signaling the end of her three minutes. The members groaned in mock defeat, their attempts to fluster her unsuccessful. Luna opened her eyes, a small, triumphant smile playing on her lips as she sat up, meeting their disappointed gazes with a knowing look.

[look how disappointed they are]

[SHE IS THAT BITCH]

“Ya!, Kim Mingyu,” Luna finally said, her voice steady but with a playful edge. “Stop lying! People will get the wrong idea.”

[gurl you know damn well…]

[what ever makes you sleep at night i guess]

She cast a quick glance at Jeonghan, catching his eye for a split second before she looked away. Jeonghan met her gaze, his expression unreadable.

[GOOD LORD HOW AWKWARD]

[Mingyu looking at Luna, Luna looking at Jeonghan, Jeonghan looking at Luna]

[and that ladies and gentlemen is how the triangle was formed]

190927 FANSIGN

The fan sign event was in full swing, the room alive with the buzzing excitement of fans and the playful banter of SEVENTEEN. The line of fans snaked around the venue, each one eagerly waiting their turn to interact with the members.

After fixing her hair, Luna grabbed the mic in front of her, ready to greet the fans and ask them some questions.

[Sidenote: LOOK HOW HOT SHE LOOKS 😫]

[she’s unreal, no wonder she’s in a love triangle]

Luna spoke into her microphone, but no sound came out. Frowning slightly, she tried again, but the mic stubbornly remained silent. The fans closest to the stage noticed the mishap and giggled, anticipating what would happen next.

Before Luna could react, Jeonghan and Mingyu, seated on either side of her, simultaneously lifted their mics towards her. The movement was so synchronized it was almost as if they had rehearsed it. The fans erupted into screams, the sound filling the room and making the air vibrate with excitement.

[*Googles “how to be Bae Jiyeon”*]

[IT’S HOW FAST THEY REACTED TOO]

Luna looked to her left, where Jeonghan held his mic out with a calm, knowing smile on his face. She then glanced to her right, where Mingyu, with his warm, boyish grin, was holding out his mic just as eagerly. It was clear neither of them was backing down, both were determined to be the one to help her out.

[They were like: choose, miss thing]

A smile tugged at the corners of Luna's lips as she realized the predicament she was in. Choosing one mic over the other would only fuel the playful rivalry between Jeonghan and Mingyu, and she had no desire to fan those flames, especially not in front of a room full of screaming fans who were already speculating.

[She has all the power]

[do you see that smirk?! she is enjoying this way too damn much]

[I mean— I guess I would too if I were her]

With a playful shrug, Luna decided to use both mics. She leaned forward slightly and spoke into Jeonghan's mic first. "Hello, everyone!" Her voice echoed through the venue, amplified by both mics. The fans went wild, their screams of excitement growing louder.

Luna then shifted slightly to speak into Mingyu's mic, "How are you all doing today?" The sound of her voice blended perfectly as if she had been given a microphone on each side just for this moment.

Jeonghan and Mingyu didn't drop their mics, both holding them steady as Luna continued. She adjusted her position, addressing the fans directly, her voice clear and bright, carried effortlessly by both microphones.

[They both don’t mind being mic stands either]

[OH LAWD… IS THIS TOO MUCH TO ASK?!]

"Did you guys eat before coming here? What did you guys have for lunch today?" Luna asked casually, her gaze scanning the crowd.

The fans responded in a chorus of different answers, their excitement palpable as they tried to shout over one another to be heard.

"Bibimbap!"

"Ramen!"

"Chicken!"

Luna laughed, a sound that made the fans cheer even louder. "Oh, that sounds delicious! Did you save some for us?" She teased, earning another wave of enthusiastic responses.

[She’s such a flirt. I love her.]

"Yes!"

"No!"

"We'll buy you some!"

Luna's eyes sparkled with amusement as she leaned a little closer to Jeonghan's mic, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial tone. "So, which one of you brought me snacks?"

[SHE IS FLIRTING FOR SNACKS, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!!]

The fans erupted into laughter, with some frantically waving bags of snacks in the air, trying to catch her attention.

Luna chuckled and then turned slightly to speak into Mingyu's mic, her expression still playful as she cooed. "You guys are the best! Seriously, how did I get so lucky to have fans like you?"

[GURL– WE ARE LUCKY]

The fans collectively swooned, their cheers a mixture of adoration and admiration.

As Luna wrapped up her conversation with the fans, she finally let out a small laugh. "Thank you, Hannie oppa, Gyu-gyu," she said, turning to each of them with a grateful smile. "I think I’m all done now."

Only then did Jeonghan and Mingyu lower their mics, both of them mirroring each other’s actions with a blend of reluctance and amusement.

[WALK EM LIKE A DOG, BITCH! WALK EM LIKE A DOG]

[Jeonghan and Mingyu: “Say less.”]

The fans, ever attentive, noticed the slightly playful competitive looks they gave each other in their eyes as they watched Luna, but she seemed blissfully unaware, too busy enjoying the moment with her fans.

[She’s either clueless or she knows and is enjoying it]

[I am betting for the latter 🤭]

The event continued, but that moment became one of the highlights of the day, a small but telling interaction that fans would replay over and over, analyzing every glance, every smile, and every word exchanged between the three.

'BE THE SUN' WORLD TOUR IN SEOUL DAY 2: 220626

The energy in the ‘Gocheok Sky Dome’ was electric, the air thick with the joyous screams of thousands of CARATs who had gathered to witness SEVENTEEN's 'Be The Sun' world tour, Day 2 in Seoul. The night had been a whirlwind of emotions, with the group delivering powerful performances, heartwarming speeches, and a connection with their fans that was almost tangible.

[Guys, ‘Be The Sun’ has a special place in my heart]

[My first ever concert 🥹]

Now, during their never-ending ‘VERY NICE’, the members were running around the stage, singing, jumping, and interacting with the fans in a carefree, playful manner. The music was lively and blaring, fueling the excitement in the stadium.

[I swear this song gives them ptsd]

Luna, her energy as radiant as ever, was at the edge of the stage, her bright smile never fading as she waved to the fans in the pit.

[This was one of my favorite encore outfits of hers]

She leaned over slightly, reaching out to touch the hands of those who were closest, unaware of the commotion that was starting behind her. The fans in the pit, their eyes widening, began to signal her frantically, pointing and mouthing words she couldn’t quite catch over the deafening noise.

[Not them warning her 🤣]

[Jiyeon is confused as fuck]

Behind her, Mingyu was creeping up with a mischievous grin, one finger pressed to his lips to silence the fans who were trying to warn Luna. In his other hand, he held an open water bottle, the clear liquid sloshing dangerously close to the rim as he tiptoed closer.

[HE IS SO HOT]

[AND SO ANNOYING]

The fans who noticed his approach were caught between excitement and anxiety, torn between letting Luna in on the prank or watching the chaos unfold.

Finally, Mingyu was right behind her. In one swift move, he wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her back against him. Luna let out a surprised shriek, instinctively knowing what was about to happen. She tried to twist away, but Mingyu held her firmly, his grin widening as he lifted the water bottle above their heads.

[HAND PLACEMENT! HAND PLACEMENT!]

[Gyu’s large arms around Jiyeon’s tiny waist 🥵]

“Ya!” Luna exclaimed, her voice tinged with laughter as she realized there was no escape With no other option, she turned towards Mingyu, burying her face in his chest to avoid the inevitable drenching.

[She just accepted defeat]

[I mean… she has her face shoved in Mingyu’s chest… she won]

Mingyu, laughing, let the water cascade down over them, soaking them both.

[HOT. HOT. HOT.]

The fans erupted into cheers and laughter, loving every moment of the playful interaction between the two. When the water finally stopped, Luna was drenched, her hair sticking to her face, and her stage outfit clinging to her form.

[SHE IS SO HOT… have I said that already?]

She pulled away from Mingyu just enough to playfully punch him in the chest, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “You’re the worst,” she teased, though her tone was light, full of affection.

Mingyu laughed, his deep voice barely audible over the roaring crowd. “You’re just mad because I got you first.”

Luna rolled her eyes, but her smile didn’t waver. She grabbed the nearly empty water bottle from his hand and emptied the remaining content in Mingyu's face before she took off running, still dripping, in the opposite direction, her laughter trailing behind her.

[MISS MAAM DIPPED]

Mingyu watched her go, shaking his head in mock defeat, but the playful pout on his face revealed his amusement.

Unbeknownst to them, Jeonghan had been watching the entire scene unfold. He was standing a few meters away, his right arm in a red decorated cast due to his recent elbow injury. His expression was unreadable, but his eyes followed Luna as she ran, a soft sigh escaping his lips.

[Jeonghan acting like he wasn’t watching]

[Pls, sir you got caught in different angles]

As Luna slowed down, she noticed Jeonghan standing nearby, and her smile softened when she saw him. He motioned for her to come over with a single nod, and she obliged, still catching her breath from the impromptu water fight.

[THAT NOD 🥵]

[he… is so fine. like, the aura, the charm, the confidence]

[How can a single nod be so fucking attractive?!]

Jeonghan met her halfway, his gaze briefly flickering towards Mingyu, who was still lingering nearby, before settling on Luna. Despite his injury, he gently lifted the sleeve of his good arm and began wiping the water from her face. The soft fabric of his sleeve carefully absorbed the droplets, his touch as delicate as ever.

[I AM UNWELL RN]

[I am just speechless]

“You’re a mess,” Jeonghan said, his tone a mix of fondness and exasperation. He continued to wipe her face, his movements slow and deliberate.

Luna chuckled softly, her gaze meeting his. “Blame that overgrown child over there,” she said, nodding towards Mingyu, who was now watching them with a mock pout, clearly feeling left out.

Jeonghan shook his head, a small smile playing on his lips. He used his fingers to gently push the wet strands of hair away from her face, his touch lingering just a moment longer than necessary.

[They are actually insane]

[In front of the entire stadium bitch]

“You should have seen it coming,” he teased, though there was a warmth in his eyes that softened the playful reprimand.

Luna hummed in response, her gaze flicking to Mingyu and then back to Jeonghan. “You’re probably right. I should have.”

Jeonghan chuckled, not bothering to move away until he finished his task. The fans, who had been watching the entire interaction, were going wild, capturing every moment on their phones, their cheers growing louder by the second.

[He was fixing his hair so gently and seriously 🥹]

[They are not okay for my mental health]

Finally, Jeonghan stepped back, satisfied with his work. “There. All better.”

“Thanks, Hannie oppa,” Luna said softly, giving him a grateful smile. She then turned back to Mingyu, raising a filled water bottle in her hand. “Where is he? Kim Mingyu…”

Mingyu’s eyes widened in mock horror, and before Luna could take another step toward him, he took off running, his laughter echoing across the stage as the encore continued, leaving the fans with yet another unforgettable moment

[He deserves it]

[I am actually surprise how none of them tripped with how much water they threw around]

LUNA'S LIVE 190518

The screen lit up with the familiar sight of Luna sitting cross-legged on her hotel bed, her hair slightly damp from the shower she had just taken after their concert in Japan. The room was cozy, the soft glow from a bedside lamp casting a warm light over her as she adjusted the camera for her Weverse Live. She was dressed casually in an oversized hoodie, the fabric swallowing her petite frame, and she was completely barefaced, giving her a relaxed, natural appearance.

[She is simply unreal]

[A literal angel amongst us]

"Hello, my beautiful CARATs!" Luna greeted, waving at the camera with a bright smile. The comments began to flood in almost immediately, the fans clearly excited to see her.

[HELLO, MY LOVE 🥹💕]

She read a few aloud, laughing at their enthusiasm. "'Did you enjoy the concert?' Yes I did. We had so much fun tonight Japan is always so welcoming, and your energy was amazing."

As she continued to chat with the fans, answering questions about the concert and how the members were doing, Luna suddenly sighed dramatically, resting her chin in her hand. "You know," she began, her tone playful, "it's kind of lonely doing this live alone. I miss having someone here to talk to…"

[She’s talking to fans yet she misses her members 🥺]

[baby. she is a baby]

The comments section exploded, fans urging her to invite one of the members to join her. The suggestions varied wildly, with each fan rooting for their bias to appear on the screen.

"Oh? You want me to invite one of the members?" Luna's eyes sparkled with mischief as she considered the idea. "Who should I call? Let's see… Jeonghannie-oppa might be asleep already," she mused, tapping her chin thoughtfully. "You know how he is with his beauty sleep."

[The beauty sleep is working for sure]

[That man is beautiful]

She laughed at the flood of comments agreeing with her. "Hao, Woozi, and Wonwoo are sleeping for sure. The rest are probably eating dinner. Who should I invite? Hmm, Mingyu?… I bet he’s either eating or just finished eating but he's awake for sure. Should we give him a call?"

[YES PLEASE]

The fans reacted immediately, spamming the chat with enthusiastic approvals. Luna grinned as she picked up her phone and dialed Mingyu's number, switching to speaker mode so everyone could hear.

After a few rings, Mingyu's deep, groggy voice came through the speaker, causing the fans to go wild. "Lulu-ya?" he murmured, his voice thick with sleep.

[WOOF WOOF BARK BARK]

[I’m simply no more]

Luna's eyes widened in mock horror since she clearly woke him up. She then quickly cut him off before he could say anything that might embarrass them both. "You're on speaker, Gyu. I'm doing a live right now." She laughed, her tone teasing but affectionate.

[She didn’t want him saying shit]

[What does he normally say and how do they normally talk?!]

There was a brief pause on the other end as Mingyu processed what she said. "Ah, really? On live?" His voice perked up a bit, and the fans could hear the rustle of blankets as he presumably sat up. "Why didn’t you tell me sooner?"

[His voice 🫦]

Luna chuckled, the sound soft and melodic. "I’m telling you now! Come over to my room and join me, or the fans might riot."

[Accurate]

Mingyu’s reply was immediate. "I’m on my way."

[Anything for her… I am in my knees]

There was a beep as he ended the call, and Luna grinned at the camera, her excitement evident. "He’ll be here in a minute, guys," she informed the fans, her eyes twinkling with anticipation.

[If Kim Mingyu is headed to me I’d be that excited too]

True to his word, it wasn’t long before there was a knock on the door, and moments later, Mingyu appeared in the frame, his hair tousled and his eyes still a bit sleepy but filled with warmth.

[GOD DAMN THIS MAN IS FINE]

"Hello, CARATs!" Mingyu greeted the fans with his signature bright fanged smile as he settled on the bed beside Luna, the two of them huddling close to fit within the camera frame.

"Sorry if I look a little sleepy… someone woke me up from my nap," he teased, nudging Luna gently.

[stfu bet you were waiting for her to call, simp]

Luna giggled, shaking her head. "When Gyu-gyu sleep it’s like he's hibernating."

[GYU-GYU 🥺]

[I always love the pout on her lips when she calls him that]

The fans loved the banter, and the comments were flooded with hearts and playful teasing. As they continued the live, answering questions from the fans, many began to notice the way Mingyu’s gaze kept lingering on Luna. His eyes followed her every movement, his expression soft and almost protective.

[SOMEBODY SEDATE ME]

[I don’t know who I want to be 😩]

[I know… MOVE, JIYEON IT IS MY TURN]

[she is living the dream. To be stared at by Mingyu like that]

The fans, ever observant, quickly filled the chat with comments about Mingyu’s intense stare. "Luna-unnie, Mingyu-oppa is looking at you like he’s in love!" one comment read, followed by a string of heart emojis.

[THANK YOU TO WHOEVER COMMENTED THAT]

Luna, catching sight of the comment, laughed nervously. "Aigoo, don’t say that! You’ll make Gyu embarrassed." She glanced at Mingyu, who just smiled, not denying anything but not confirming it either, which only made the fans go crazier.

[He doesn’t even bother say anything let alone defend himself]

Just as Luna was about to address another question, her phone started ringing, cutting through the conversation. She glanced at the screen and saw Jeonghan's name flashing. "Oh, hold on, guys," she said, answering the call but not putting it on speaker. "Oppa?"

[I am not kidding when I say I knew it was Jeonghan from just that alone]

Jeonghan's voice was a little muffled, but the fans could still hear the deep, groggy tone as he spoke. "Jiyeonie, what are you doing?"

Luna smiled softly, a hint of affection in her eyes. "I’m doing a live right now. Do you want to say hi to the fans?"

There was a brief pause before Jeonghan responded. "Sure, put me on speaker."

Luna switched to speaker mode, holding the phone up for the camera. "Jeonghannie oppa wants to say hi, everyone!"

[she’s so excited]

"CARATs, hello," Jeonghan greeted, his voice still thick with sleep, but the fans could hear the smile in his tone. His deep, raspy voice sent a wave of excitement through the chat, the comments section lighting up with greetings and heart emojis.

[LUNA IS INE LUCKY MOTHERFUCKER TO HEAR THEIR MORNING VOICES LIKE THAT]

As they exchanged a few pleasantries, Mingyu, who was still sitting beside Luna, answered a fan's question about the concert. "Yeah, the energy tonight was incredible," he said, his voice warm and genuine.

[Jealous Jeonghan in 3…2…1…]

Jeonghan, still on the phone, caught the sound of Mingyu’s voice. "Who’s that?"

[AHHHHHHHHHJENUEGEHNEYEBUDBSJ]

Luna blinked, glancing between the phone and Mingyu. "Oh, it’s Mingyu. I invited him to join me."

[I BET YOU ALL THAT I HAVE THAT JEONGHAN WAS POUTING]

There was a brief pause on Jeonghan's end before he hummed softly, the sound low and contemplative. "Why didn’t you invite me?"

[SIR–]

[look at her face… she knows]

Luna bit her lip, sensing a bit of teasing in his tone, but knowing Jeonghan, there was probably a hint of something more that the fans seemed to pick up.

“I didn’t want to wake you up, Hannie." She said.

"And it was okay for you to wake me?" Mingyu joked.

[you came running anyways babes]

"You can always leave." Luna sassed back calling out his bluff.

[Called him out 🤣]

Jeonghan hummed again, this time with a slight chuckle. "I’m awake now… I’ll come over too."

[He really said: “Luna alone with Mingyu?”🏃‍♂️💨]

The announcement caused another flurry of excited comments from the fans, many of them thrilled at the prospect of having both Jeonghan and Mingyu in the same live with Luna.

Luna laughed softly, her eyes crinkling at the corners. "Alright, oppa, come over. We’re just chatting with CARATs."

As they waited for Jeonghan to arrive, the live continued with Luna and Mingyu answering more fan questions, their banter easy and comfortable. Despite the playful atmosphere, the fans couldn’t help but notice the underlying tension, especially with the way Mingyu’s gaze would occasionally drift towards Luna, his expression softening as he watched her interact with the fans.

[MINGYU BABE… SNAP OUT OF IT]

[he is drooling💀]

[he isn’t even trying to hide it anymore]

[Kim Mingyu.exe has stopped working]

When Jeonghan finally arrived, dressed in a simple hoodie and sweatpants, his hair slightly tousled from sleep, the dynamic in the room shifted. He slid onto the bed beside Luna, his presence immediately felt. The three of them squeezed together to fit into the frame, and the fans went wild at the sight of the trio together.

[How can he be hot and cute at the same fucking time?]

"Hi," Jeonghan greeted the fans again, his voice now fully awake and filled with his usual charm.

[BABYYYYY HIIIIII]

The fans were quick to comment on the contrast between his earlier groggy tone and his current bright energy. As the live continued, the interaction between the three of them was light and playful, but the fans couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something more simmering beneath the surface.

Whether it was the way Mingyu and Jeonghan seemed to subtly compete for Luna’s attention or the occasional shared glance between Luna and Jeonghan, the tension was palpable, leaving the fans on the edge of their seats, eager to see what would happen next.

[this live was just them trying to fight for her attention]

AIRPORT JEALOUSY

[And now I present to you this iconic airport clip]

[I would like to name this piece of art ‘The Jealous and the Protective’]

[Enjoy]

The airport was a flurry of activity as SEVENTEEN made their way through the bustling terminal. The members moved together as one, a unit that had been through countless travels, but this time there was an extra level of intensity.

Fans had gotten wind of their departure for the U.S., and now the airport was swarming with people eager to catch a glimpse of their idols. A barrier of bodyguards and security flanked them on all sides, creating a protective bubble as they navigated through the sea of fans.

[On a real note y’all really need to stop swarming them]

Cameras flashed incessantly, capturing every moment, every smile, every wave. The members, ever the professionals, bowed politely and waved to their fans, their faces calm and composed despite the chaos surrounding them.

The air buzzed with energy, screams of fans echoing off the walls, their voices blending into a high-pitched cacophony that only seemed to grow louder with each step the group took.

In the middle of it all was Luna, walking close to Mingyu, who was at her side like a protective shadow.

[shadow, my shadow, my shadow~]

They were in the midst of a conversation, their heads tilted slightly towards each other to hear over the noise. Luna's expression was relaxed, a small smile playing on her lips as she listened to whatever Mingyu was saying.

[IN FRONT OF EVERYONE]

Suddenly, the crowd surged forward, and Luna was caught off guard. The push was unintentional, a result of fans pressing forward for a better look, but it was enough to make her stumble. Her eyes widened in surprise, and she felt herself losing balance.

Before she could react, Mingyu’s hand shot out, his grip firm and reassuring as he caught her by the arm, pulling her closer to him. "Whoa, careful," he murmured, his voice low but clear over the din. His other hand instinctively went to her back, steadying her as they continued to walk.

[HAND PLACEMENT!!!]

The concern in his eyes was evident, his protective nature coming to the forefront. From his position ahead of them, Jeonghan witnessed the entire exchange. His pace faltered for a brief moment as he glanced back, his sharp eyes taking in the scene.

[ISTG BRO JEALOUS JEONGHAN IS JUST SO HOT]

The sight of Mingyu holding Luna so closely stirred something within him, a flash of emotion that flickered across his usually serene features. It was subtle, almost imperceptible, but for those who knew him well, it was unmistakable— a mixture of jealousy and protectiveness simmering beneath the surface.

Jeonghan’s eyes narrowed slightly as they locked onto Mingyu’s hand on Luna’s arm. His gaze softened when it shifted to Luna, who was now securely in Mingyu's grasp, her expression still calm despite the near fall.

[🫠🫠🫠]

Without breaking stride, Jeonghan did something that only someone as effortlessly cool as him could pull off— he lifted his hand slightly and, without even glancing back, made a subtle 'come here' gesture with his fingers, a silent command meant only for Luna.

[HE IS SO HOT FOR THIS I SIMPLY CANNOT]

Luna didn’t hesitate for a second. It was as if she had been waiting for that very signal. Her eyes immediately caught the motion, and she reached out, her fingers slipping into Jeonghan’s hand as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

[no hesitation whatsoever which tells me this happens regularly]

Their fingers intertwined effortlessly, and with that, Jeonghan began guiding her forward, ensuring she was safe at the front of the group.

Mingyu, now trailing slightly behind, watched as Luna’s attention shifted to Jeonghan, their hands linked with an unspoken understanding. A pang of something unidentifiable passed through him, but he quickly masked it with a smile, maintaining his protective stance behind Luna, his hand still resting lightly on her back as if to say he was there if she needed him.

[She really has these men vying for her]

[Queen shit right there]

To the fans watching from the sidelines, the entire exchange was both mesmerizing and revealing. The sight of Jeonghan holding out his hand for Luna, the way she instinctively reached for him, and Mingyu’s immediate reaction to steady her— it all played out in a matter of seconds, but it spoke volumes.

Some fans squealed in delight, others exchanged knowing glances, and a few hurriedly typed out what they had just witnessed, already anticipating how the scene would blow up on social media. The protective dynamic between the three was undeniable, and the tension that simmered just below the surface was the kind that left everyone speechless.

GDA 2020

The ‘2020 Golden Disk Awards’ was one of the most anticipated events of the year, a night when the biggest names in K-pop gathered to celebrate their achievements and put on spectacular performances. The air buzzed with excitement as artists mingled backstage, rehearsed for their performances, and prepared to sit in the audience to watch the show unfold.

[THIS CLIP WAS LEGIT. ISTG MINGYU WAS GENUINELY PISSED]

[usually it is playful jealousy from the both of them but this time I think he was genuinely angry 👀]

SEVENTEEN, known for their stellar performances and impeccable teamwork, were seated together in the artist section, their eyes glued to the massive screens that hung above the stage. The cameras frequently panned across the audience, capturing the reactions of various groups and solo artists as they enjoyed the show.

Luna sat comfortably between Jeonghan and Mingyu. She was dressed in a sleek black dress that contrasted beautifully with the light makeup she wore. Her long hair cascaded over her shoulders, and she carried herself with the same quiet confidence that had earned her a special place in the hearts of Carats and K-pop fans alike.

[one of her best looks hands down]

The night had been filled with breathtaking performances and emotional speeches. The members were all in high spirits, applauding for their peers and exchanging whispered comments with each other. The group’s energy was infectious, and Luna, who was usually more reserved during such events, couldn’t help but feel the joy radiating from her bandmates.

[I’m sorry she just radiate bad bitch energy]

[untouchable fr]

As the night continued, the camera operator seemed to have a knack for finding the most candid moments. The large screens displayed close-ups of idols laughing, clapping, and reacting to the performances on stage. Suddenly, during a brief lull in the program, the camera zeroed in on Luna. Her face, initially unaware of the camera, was caught in a moment of serene focus as she watched the stage, her lips slightly parted in awe of the ongoing performance.

[LOOK AT HER!]

[SHE LOOKS CGI IN THERE]

The fans in the audience and those watching the live broadcast at home were quick to notice the shift. A collective gasp rose from the crowd, followed by an explosion of cheers as Luna’s face filled the screen. The noise caught her attention, and she turned to look at the big screen, only to realize that it was her own face staring back at her.

Her eyes widened in surprise before a radiant smile spread across her face. It was a smile that was both shy and charming, the kind that made hearts skip a beat. Luna’s reaction was pure and unfiltered, and the audience couldn’t get enough of it. The sound of fans screaming filled the venue, and the energy in the room surged as more fans joined in, their voices merging into a singular, resounding cheer.

[god took his time with her]

[I know her parents high five when they see her face]

[I just know she was made with love and not just a quick nut]

[I’ll stop.]

The members of SEVENTEEN noticed the shift as well. Seungkwan, always the expressive one, clapped enthusiastically, nudging Joshua and pointing at Luna on the screen. Hoshi joined in with a playful smirk, mouthing something to the camera as if to say, “Isn’t she great?” The rest of the members followed suit, their faces lighting up with pride and affection for their female member.

[I need friends that supportive]

[they are her biggest fans 🥹]

Jeonghan, who had been quietly watching the screen, leaned in closer to Luna. His expression was soft, his gaze lingering on her as if the rest of the world had faded away. The camera captured the moment just as Jeonghan mouthed a single word, his lips barely moving, but clear enough for any lip-reader to understand: “Beautiful.”

[HE SAID IT GUYS. IT IS PRETTY OBVIOUS]

Luna didn’t seem to notice Jeonghan’s words at first, her attention still partly on the screen, but Mingyu did. Seated on her other side, Mingyu’s smile faltered for the briefest of moments as he watched Jeonghan lean in close to Luna, whispering words that were meant only for her. The flicker of jealousy in Mingyu’s eyes was subtle, but for the eagle-eyed fans who knew him well, it was unmistakable.

[till this day, I want to know the tea behind this]

Mingyu shifted slightly in his seat, his hand tightening around the armrest as he fought to keep his expression neutral. The camera had moved on to another group, but the tension in their little corner of the artist section had not dissipated. Mingyu glanced at Jeonghan, who had now settled back into his seat, his gaze still fixed on Luna with that same adoring look.

The fans who were paying close attention to SEVENTEEN noticed the way Mingyu’s gaze darted between Luna and Jeonghan. It was as if he was trying to decipher what had just happened, his mind racing with thoughts that he couldn’t quite voice out loud. The competition between the two men for Luna’s attention had always been there, but tonight it seemed more palpable than ever.

As the next performer took the stage, Luna leaned back in her chair, her smile still lingering on her lips. She turned slightly to Jeonghan, who gave her a small, knowing smile in return. They exchanged a few words, their conversation hidden from the cameras, but their body language spoke volumes. Jeonghan’s posture was relaxed, and confident, as if he knew he had said the right thing at the right time.

[Guys I need the lore behind this. I am so serious]

Mingyu, on the other hand, was far from relaxed. He glanced at Luna, his brow furrowing slightly as he tried to join the conversation, but it was clear that something was bothering him. The fans who were watching the broadcast from home picked up on it immediately, and social media began to buzz with speculation. Tweets and posts started flooding in, with fans dissecting every little interaction between the trio.

[TWITTER THIS DAY WAS JUST INSANE]

[you just had to be there]

As the show continued, the tension between Jeonghan and Mingyu didn’t go unnoticed by the other members of SEVENTEEN either. DK, ever the peacemaker, tried to engage Mingyu in conversation, distracting him with lighthearted jokes and comments. But even as Mingyu laughed along with DK, his eyes kept drifting back to Luna and Jeonghan.

[I am being serious when I say this, something happened backstage for sure]

At one point, Luna, feeling the weight of the attention on her, turned to Mingyu with a bright smile, asking him a question about the next performer. Mingyu’s expression softened instantly, his eyes lighting up as he responded, eager to be the focus of her attention once again. But the moment was fleeting, as the show’s host announced the next award category, drawing everyone’s attention back to the stage.

Jeonghan, ever the observant one, noticed the shift in Mingyu’s demeanor and couldn’t help but smirk to himself. He knew Mingyu well enough to understand what was going on, but instead of backing down, Jeonghan seemed more determined than ever to keep Luna’s attention on him. It was a subtle, unspoken battle, one that played out in smiles, glances, and whispered words that only the three of them could hear.

[Jeonghan and Mingyu: “Pick me. Choose me. Love me.” Or however the fuck that goes]

As the night drew to a close and the final awards were handed out, SEVENTEEN stood to applaud the winners, their voices blending with the rest of the audience in a chorus of cheers.

But even as they clapped and cheered, the tension remained. The fans, ever watchful, continued to document every little moment, every glance and smile that passed between Luna, Jeonghan, and Mingyu. The love triangle that had been simmering beneath the surface was now more visible than ever, and the fans couldn’t wait to see what would happen next.

As the show finally ended and SEVENTEEN prepared to leave the venue, Jeonghan and Mingyu both moved to walk beside Luna. But this time, it was Luna who took control of the situation, linking her arms with both of them and pulling them close as they made their way out. The fans erupted in cheers as they watched the trio leave, their voices echoing through the venue.

[SHE HAS TWO ON A LEESH]

For Luna, the night had been a whirlwind of emotions, but she was blissfully unaware of the silent battle being waged for her attention. For Jeonghan and Mingyu, however, the competition was far from over. As they left the award show and stepped into the night, the tension between them lingered, a reminder that when it came to Luna, neither was willing to back down.

And for the fans, the story of SEVENTEEN’s love triangle had just added another chapter, one that they would be talking about for a long time to come.

And there we have it, a brief glimpse of the jealous moments between Jeonghan and Mingyu.

Comment down below what video I should do next! I can do anything SEVENTEEN related, from chaotic moments to videos of our favorite throupl– I mean triangle.

That’s all for now. Toodleloo~

comments…

@/lunababybae • 3 months ago ╰ that insomnia zero episode was just something else entirely.

@/saythename • 3 months ago ╰ MINGYU CONFESSING TO LUNA IS MY ROMAN EMPIRE!!

@/lalalunanova • 3 months ago ╰ istg look at 7:09 Jeonghan staring into Jiyeon’s soul.

@/jeonwoowonwoo • 3 months ago ╰ WATCH THE MEMBERS FACES WHEN MINGYU CONFESSED. THEY WERE ALL CAUGHT OFF GUARD.

@/mimilyemily • 3 months ago ╰ I am convinced the reason Luna stayed another round in the Insomnia Zero episode was because of what Mingyu said.

@/user624729262863 • 3 months ago ╰ Jeonghan breaking Jiyeon’s Wall-E Lego would have been my final straw tbh

@/kpopaddict555• 3 months ago ╰ you can’t convince me that the members weren’t trying to play Mingyu’s confession as a joke. YOU CANNOT!!

@/svtstan17• 3 months ago ╰ 8:00 they were all exchanging looks! Like I’m shocked they even kept this in the final cut.

@/sssssydnyyy • 3 months ago ╰ I am convinced these three are together 👀 don’t kill me. The evidence is right here.

@/mrsbaebae • 3 months ago ╰ 10:05 - 10:20 the fact that Mingyu and Jeonghan didn’t even bother dropping their mics and just kept holding it up for Luna till she finished talking is insane to me

@/jeongnanana • 2 months ago ╰ I AM IN PAIN RN. I LOVE JEONGNA WITH MY LIFE BUT FOR SOME REASON MINGNA IS TEMPTING ME AS WELL. SEND HELP FR.

@/shuashua17_ • 2 months ago ╰ jeonghan wiping the water off of Luna’s face and fixing her hair whilst having a injured arm is too much for me 🥹

@/gyusshadow • 1 month ago ╰ MINGYU’S HUGE ASS BICEPS WRAPPED AROUND JIYEON’S TINY WAIST MAKES ME WANT TO BE MANHANDLED BY HIM SO MUCH IT PHYSICALLY PAINS ME 🥵

@/oozoozwoozi6 • 1 month ago ╰ Gyu and Jeonghan’s morning voice in Luna’s live was simply life changing

@/donquixote • 1 month ago ╰ that Luna live should be renamed as “Watch as Tweedledee and Tweedledum fight for my attention.”

@/cutiesexylovely • 2 weeks ago ╰ JEONGHAN, LUNA, AND MINGYU IN GDA 2020 IS MY ROMAN EMPIRE. CAUSE WTF WAS GOING ON THAT NIGHT FR!??

@/moonlight_1997 • 1 week ago ╰ Jeonghan leading Luna in the airport and Mingyu protecting her from the back screams throuple… I am sorry but it’s the truth 🤭

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: ̗̀➛ requests are always open ♡ - lunaఌ

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[billythesimp]

Could I request headcanons for ZZZ Billy, Wise, and Lycaon reacting to his shy gn crush confessing to him please?

Another late-night writing session, another cilent.

[sips my coffee]

Eh- too much sugar... good.

Heartfelt Confessions

⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎…

I may have done this a little wrong, but I wrote it in the sense of that they boys where enamored with the gn!insert. That they had a crush on them yet the insert confessed to them. I hope I got that right!

Billy / Wise / Lycaon x Shy-Gn!reader

𝑃𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑖𝑡…⋙

tw: none?

✦ I’ll be honest, this would probably go over his head at first. Billy is familiar with their mannerisms and is always patient with them. After all, he just adores how they stumble over their worlds when they wish to comment on anything their cute mind is thinking over. So Billy is just standing there, looking at them as they gather their thoughts and admit their growing affects to them. Yet he’s too focused on the dewy glaze over their eyes when they shyly look up at him, the subtle pout on their lips where he could only dream to feel on his face-plates.

✦  But after some moments of quiet and Billy finally registering what it is they said, he’s baffled and exclaiming why someone so amazing- a beacon of joy and pure innocence, a being that anyone would be more than blessed to have been in the presence of when they flash their most radiant smile- would ever like the likes of him! Believe me, if his long pause of silence from before startled them nervous, his own sudden confession made them embarrassed as he’s practically screaming how amazing they are.

✦ But they assure him that they’ve always admired and shortly grew to love his flaws and perfections. That he made them feel safe and how he made them laugh when times grew grim, that he is always too patient and understanding and that no matter what he was told, they’d only see the real him. The person who cheers up a friend, a person who is passionate about the interests of his colleague, a person who is strong and steps up for others who can’t themselves. Billy could feel his gears and joints ache in the need to collapse as their words come out confident and true, wanting to be a mere puddle beneath their feet. Needless to say, he happily accepted after making another scene which only made them more embarrassed.

✦ His crush has been working part-time at the store with them, always helping them out with returns and promotional materials. So when Belle left to run some errands and it was just them two, Wise was shocked at first when they asked to speak with him in private. So in the staff room, they rushed out their confession that Wise was worried that they could have bitten their tongue and tried to calm them down.

✦ He holds their arms gently and tells them that it’s alright and how he’s nothing but happy to hear this. He’ll admit, he’s known about their affections for a while after all he’s Wise, cunning and sharp with attention to details. That and while he won’t admit it, Belle has at times helped him figure out if they really do like him. The teasing she and Eous gave him, if word got out to you he’d probably die there and now. Maybe he should have gone through Fairy and see to it that any camera recording of the incident be deleted.

✦ Seeing as he all accepted their confess, they smile happily before he pulls them into a tight hug, heart beating as he finally could do all the things he wanted now that they knew he liked them- no, cherished their affect and love. He couldn’t wait to bombard them with the soft touches, lingering kisses and teasing whispers that he has held back out of respect and belief that they were nothing more than just friends, co-workers, allies. That is, if they would be mentally ready as he notices how fidgety and flushed they became at the simple gesture of affection. Yeah, he’ll go slow with them for sure, but he was nothing but excited.

✦ Lycaon cares dearly for his proxy and always attempts to keep things professional between the two. However, it proves difficult when they always depend on them when working together, always seeking him out and giving him the time of day while others probably wouldn’t. He holds them closely to his heart, so anytime they call on him, he’s at attention and can’t help but have to hold back the need to kneel before them and pledge loyalty there. Which would have made them more nervous and flushed when they ask about what they are.

✦ Of course, they’ve noticed his attention to detail in their mannerism and how he’s always stepping up to help them should they grow to shy to order or help solve their problem they thought dumb and meaningless. They are scared of ruining this little bond of theirs, but Von could only assure them that their feelings are true, that he would be an idiot should he not accept their confession as he too has nothing but love filled for them. He compromised that they’ll still hold a professional work relationship but in private, he’d want nothing more than to be theirs.

✦ The way they blush and start fidgeting with a strand of hair, he hadn’t noticed how his tail swayed happily despite the calm and clear demeanor he displayed. The mere motion made them only awe at how cute he was, taking his gloved hand as he lifted it towards his muzzle. The lightest of kisses on the back of their hand, skin warmed at the touch as he only stares with those dark red eyes of his. Piercing as to say they were his as he is theirs, a bond stronger than human- one of the beast and their tamer.

[empress-simps]

Poly!marauders x readers where maybe they are roommates and love the reader and being touchy and caring but the reader just thinks they are affectionate with all their friends?

Thanks for the request darling! I am more than happy to oblige. Thank you for patiently waiting too since it did take a while to publish it (ugh school am I right?) I tweaked it a bit, hope you don’t mindd : ) Really wanted to publish this before my birthday (which is tomorrow) as a little treat to myself and to you guys. I hope you enjoy!

Special Treatment?

Pairing: Poly!Marauders x Reader

CW: None that I could think of?? except for possible typos and grammatical errors. (1.3k words)

You often found asking yourself one-too-many-times if the boys’ affection to you were just purely platonic or romantic.

Maybe you were just being dramatic— giving meaning to meaningless stuff they do for you.

It's probably you, yeah. You and your delusional arse, really. Why would they want you in the mix when the three of them are already dating?

Although— you just can't help but feel special when Remus makes you his famous “Moony toast” as he likes to call it, or when Sirius calls you 'his doll' and slings his arm over your shoulder which results in your stomach doing flips, and let’s not forget how James would flash his mega-watt smile, setting your breakfast down and making sure you know that he's the one who cooked it for you.

With the help of Remus, of course— your flat would turn into ashes if you let James cook alone in the kitchen.

Being roommates with three dudes is certainly uncommon but fun. Telling people about it… well, makes them shoot you questioning looks or are concerned that you’re being held hostage by three big burly men.

You really weren’t sure how it happened— the four of you just fitted together seamlessly, similar to cogs of a well-oiled machine.

It began during the last three months of your 7th year in Hogwarts, you decided to start looking for flats to rent, preferably in close to London. You wanted to live where muggles are, having such keen interest about them and their daily lives, deciding to pursue a muggle career also helped you in your decision.

You tried searching if there's any available flats to rent and how much it’ll cost. However, seeing that you're a broke student, you really couldn't afford any sky-high prices for rent.

It seemed like all hope was lost until you asked one of your friends, Lily, if she knows anyone looking for a flat mate.

You were sure she was an angel sent here on Earth, after a few days she told you that Remus, James, and Sirius have no problems taking you in, seeing that you guys are housemates during their years in Hogwarts.

The rest was history.

They made sure you wouldn’t feel left out. It was how they looked out for you, the way they included you in every plan, every joke, every moment of their lives.

Although, as the days turn into weeks, and weeks into months you start to notice the little things they do.

"Hey doll, have any movies tickled your fancy yet?" Sirius asks, sneaking his arm around your waist, leaning close to your face.

"Erm, no not really... You guys could pick, I'd be fine with anything." You smiled at him, before fleeing to the kitchen to calm your racing heart.

"You're just friends with them, Y/n. I'm sure they do this with Lily and the others..." you let out a mumble, absentmindedly grabbing a glass of water before bumping into someone.

"Whoa, are you okay, darling?" Remus' worried voice pulled you out of your thoughts as he cupped your face before placing the back of his hand on your forehead.

"I'm alright!" You squeaked; Remus' doesn't really look to convinced. "Are you sure, darling? You look rather flushed... I told you to bring your jacket yesterday when you went out. You probably caught a cold." He frowned, you tried to protest but your attempt was futile as he shimmied off his cardigan and made you wear it. "I'll make you some lemon water, alright darling?" James called out from the living room, "We're starting the movie without you guys!"

Remus yelled out, boiling some warm water. "Hold your bloody horses, prongs! I'm making some lemon water." You heard a shuffling of feet nearing you, making you look up.

"Love, don't tell me you're sick." He frowns, and like what Remus did earlier, he placed the back of his hand on your forehead. "I'm not sick." You protested, but it all fell on deaf ears.

Next time you told them you went out, you were practically dressed for winter even though it's only spring.

Those little things made you honestly take a step back and re-asses your situation with them because for merlin's sake, why do they act like your boyfriends when you're just friends with them, right? You couldn't really open it up to Lily because you'd probably sound stupid if this was just normal for them.

Your mind ran with hundreds of what if's and the way Remus' eyes linger on you for a second too long, with an emotion you can't quite decipher doesn't help soothe the thoughts in your mind. The warmth of Sirius' touch, James and oh merlin, when the three of them kissed you on the cheeks during a movie night? You really couldn't live in denial anymore.

You're no detective but the signs are there, clear as day. There's a high chance they're not just being friendly—they care, deeply. And maybe, just maybe, you do too.

Having read enough romance novels, you quickly recognized the pattern, but this isn't fiction. This is real life, and these are your roommates—three guys who have somehow, inexplicably, fallen for the same person. You.

Sitting in loveseat while nursing a cup of tea, you couldn’t help but notice the way the morning light caught in Sirius’s hair, giving him a halo that seemed so at odds with his mischievous smirk. “Morning, doll,” he greeted, his voice a smooth baritone that sent shivers throughout your system. Does this man haven't ever heard of morning voice?

“Morning,” you replied, trying to keep your voice even. “Slept well?”

“Like a log,” he said, eyes softening before squeezing himself beside you. “Did you? You were up late reading with Moony.”

You nodded, the feeling the warmth within your chest surfacing because of the memory. Remus usually reads his novel alongside you, it's sort of yours and his thing. Although you sometimes found yourself getting distracted and instead of focusing on the book, you were drawn to the gentle timbre of his voice and the way his hand occasionally brushed yours as he pointed something out on the page he was reading.

And then there was James, who was currently flipping pancakes with a concentration that was both endearing and amusing. He caught your eye and grinned, the same smile that had greeted you every morning since you’d moved in. “These are going to be the best pancakes you’ve ever tasted,” he declared. “Guaranteed to improve your day by at least twenty percent.”

You laughed, the sound mingling with the sizzling of the batter. “I’ll hold you to that.”

A bedroom creaked open, and Remus shuffled out, rubbing sleep from his eyes. “Is that breakfast I smell?” he mumbled, heading to the kitchen "Yeah, go help prongsie, moons. It's a miracle he hasn't started a fire yet." Sirius teased, it made Remus more awake and practically ran to supervise James.

After a few moments, the four of you were digging into the half-burnt pancakes that James was proud of, a mishmash of pajamas and bed hair (except for Sirius), and yet it felt right. It felt like family. As you ate, you found yourself observing them, the way they interacted with each other, and with you. There was a harmony; a rhythm that you had become a part of without even realizing it.

It was in the little things: the way Remus passed you the syrup without you having to ask, or the sound of Sirius’ laughter seemed to wrap around you like a warm blanket. And James? Well, he was the glue that held it all together, his energy infectious and his presence a constant source of comfort for all of you.

You realized; it didn’t matter what other people thought. They don't see what you saw, feel what you've felt. They don’t understand that this was more than just a shared living space; it was a shared life. And maybe, just maybe, it was okay to give meaning to the ‘meaningless stuff’ because, to you, it meant everything.

And as you looked around at the three men who had become your world, you knew that this was normal. Your normal. And it was perfect.

[reminiscingtonight]

Pretending (Pt. 2)

Aitana Bonmatí x Reader

Word Count: 986

Part One

[WOSO Masterlist]

“Do you want to get married?”

You’re soaking in the sun, a welcome change from the cloudy skies of Manchester when Aitana pops the question.

You crack open an eye. “Are you talking to me?”

“Who else would I be talking to?”

She says it with the most serious face that you start questioning if you’re the crazy one here.

“Are you asking me what my thoughts are about marriage in general or marriage between us?”

Aitana doesn’t have to say anything, she only gives you a look. 

You sigh, propping yourself up on an arm so you can face Aitana when having this conversation. “We’re not even dating.”

Aitana shrugs. “If it matters that much to you we can give it a day.”

It’s such a ridiculous proposition that you can’t do anything but laugh. “So what? We can tell our children we dated for a day before we got married?”

This time she grins, finger drifting to hook around your own. “Time doesn’t matter. We both know whatever this is, whatever we are, it’s been going on far longer than a day.”

You’ve been back in Barcelona for close to a year now. The two of you picked up right where you left off, spending almost all of your waking moments with one another. Even when night comes round, it’s rare to find you sleeping apart. 

Ona calls you both codependent idiots, Ingrid calls it something sweet, all you know is that it works for the two of you and although you’re not dating, it’s a life you can find yourself getting used to.

When the break came around and Ona announced she was going somewhere tropical with Lucy, Aitana was quick to make some plans for just the two of you. 

You didn’t question it much, happy to just spend time with the girl you’ve been pining after for years. 

At first everything was normal. Sure, Aitana’s been a bit more sentimental than usual, opting to reminisce about your childhood adventures or bring up the unofficial first dates of yours from all those years ago. But you don’t think too much about it, choosing instead to focus on not ogling all of the skin on display as Aitana’s primary activity these past couple days have consisted of nothing but sunbathing.

It’s not like you haven’t caught Aitana eyeing you up and down a couple of times too, but it’s different between the two of you. You’re still patiently waiting for Aitana to drop the pretense that you’re anything more than just friends, hence the respect you’ve been giving (though if she continues wearing two-pieces and hanging off your arm all day every day you might have to catch an early flight home before you combust). Aitana on the other hand… well you’re not really sure what she’s doing.

Though you can probably conclude that she’s not pretending anything anymore if she’s asking for your hand in marriage.

“I love you.”

Though her words fill you with warmth, you can’t help but frown at her sudden change in demeanor. Just three days ago when you were still surrounded by your teammates in Barcelona, Aitana cracked a joke about loving you when hell froze over --- though you probably deserved that comment after you let Mapi convince you to dunk her socks in the ice bucket. Although she’s affectionate with you, she’s never this affectionate.

“Aita, what’s going on?” you sit up, taking care to scoop Aitana’s hand into yours.

The smile slips off her face as her eyes drop, fingers nervously tapping by her side.

It’s automatic, the way your free hand rises, rubbing at the furrow between her brows.

Aitana melts into your touch, face leaning forward until your hand has no choice but to cup her cheek.

“It’s just me. Nothing to be afraid of,” you murmur, trying to prompt Aitana to speak her mind.

Aitana looks lost in thought for a moment. She bites at her lip before letting out the longest sigh known to man. “Aren’t you ever going to get tired waiting for me?”

You’re not able to stop the laugh that bubbles past your lips. “If that’s what you’re afraid of, you have nothing to worry about. I’m in this for the long run, even if that means waiting for you until we’re gray and old. I’m happy with what we are right now as long as you’re happy too.”

“But what if I’m ready now?” 

You blink, not expecting the sureness behind her voice. There’s a slight fire in Aitana’s eyes, the midfielder looking like she’d move mountains just for you to understand how serious she is. 

“I know I’ve always put football first but you have always been the one thing I’ve wanted to commit to. You’ve been so patient with me, loving me when I never gave you a reason to. You bring me up when I’m sad, give me reasons to smile when I just want to cry, you’re what I love falling asleep to every night, and seeing your face when I wake up just fills me up with joy.”

Your eyes flutter shut when she leans forward to press her head against yours. You can feel her breath running hot against your lips and it takes everything in you to not bridge the gap. 

“I love the way you know me and I love the way you’re you.”

When your lips finally meet there’s no other way to describe the kiss than perfect. It’s short and sweet but it’s everything you’ve been waiting for. 

“I love you. So much.”

Aitana’s giving you a teary grin when you open your eyes, and you can’t do anything but smile right back at her. 

“So will you marry me?”

---

Ona’s eyes nearly fall out of her head when she sees the matching bands on your fingers when you stroll into the locker room a week later.

[underdark-dreams]

It's finally here, all 7k words of it 👀 Thank you for everyone who read chapter 1, and waited so patiently!

[ch1]

Birds and Bees - Ch.2

Rolan isn't usually the type to accept help. In his defense, Tav is very persuasive—and he is very, very desperate.

Tags: Tailplay, Oral Sex, Biting, NSFW | Word Count: 7.7k [Read on AO3]

Rolan didn’t appear again for the rest of the day.

After their awkward exchange this morning, Tav felt she might be somewhat to blame. She tried to recall the bits of Tiefling etiquette she’d picked up from the Elturians; perhaps touching his tail had crossed some sort of line? Either way, the gesture seemed unthinkably forward to her now. 

Then again…Rolan was the one who’d coiled his tail across her desk like that, its tip nearly brushing her hand as she wrote. She’d never seen him do anything like it before. If she didn't know him so well, she’d have found the move almost flirtatious.

At shop’s close, Cal took charge of locking up the front. Tav caught sight of the large iron keyring he carried and realized that it must be Rolan’s. So his brother had checked in on him today, at least—that gave her a modicum of relief.

Lia pitched in to help wipe down all her equipment and carefully fill the many waiting bottles with her cooled elixir. Tav held her tongue from repeating any of the worries she’d made after Rolan during the day—but it seemed her silence was just as damning.

“Stop fussing,” Lia repeated firmly. “Rolan’s just overdue for a rest. I mean, you saw his face.”

“I did.” Rolan had never been the type to slow down or show weakness easily. To Tav, the fact that he’d willingly taken himself to bed worried her more than anything. “Just promise you won't let him turn down a healer if he needs one?”

“If it comes to that, which it won't,” Lia said down to her work. “I promise we’ll find someone, okay?”

Tav kept her tone teasing as she packed away the sealed bottles in their crate. “Hmm, yes…if only you already knew someone with some knowledge of healing.”

Lia let out a bark of laughter. “Trust me, you’re the last person Rolan wants to see right now.”

The sting of those words took Tav by surprise herself. Lia caught their edge too; she pulled up with a grimace, letting a few drops of antidote dribble onto the desk. “Shit, Tav, I didn't mean it like that.”

“It’s okay,” Tav replied, making a fuss of sealing up the filled crate. The thought made her feel rather less than okay, which she didn't want Lia to see. “I think—I don’t know. I feel like I did something rude today, anyway.”

“Oh?” Lia’s tone was light, but she allowed a conspicuous pause to stretch between them. Tav pushed through a twinge of embarrassment to turn to face her.

“Lia, what would you think if I touched your tail?”

Lia glanced up with an eyebrow cocked. “What, right now?”

“No, just—say I did by accident.”

Lia straightened to take a thoughtful inhale. “I mean…it depends on the context. You and I are friends, I wouldn’t think much of it. Unless you grabbed it up by my backside or something,” she added with a laugh. “It wouldn’t be a big deal. If I’m walking somewhere crowded, lots of people might brush against it unless I’m careful.”

Tav had moved around to reset the rest of her clean glassware as she listened, feeling marginally relieved by the explanation.

Then Lia paused her work again. “Are you saying you touched Rolan’s tail?

“You what now?”

With impeccable timing, Cal skidded to a stop at the edge of the conversation, a heavy lockbox under one arm.

Tav glanced between the two of them. “Yes?” The word came out as a question somehow; her mouth went dry as they stared at her. “Like you said, I didn't think it was a big deal. He laid it on my desk while I was working, so I just kind of—” She mimed a little picking-up motion with her hand.

The siblings exchanged a significant look with each other. 

“What?” Tav felt her face burning and knew the color must be noticeable to either of them. “How does it being Rolan’s tail make it different?”

Cal turned back to her with a frown. “What do you mean he laid it on your desk?”

“I don't know, damn—clearly I’m no expert!” She flailed her arms out a bit. “I just turned around and it was sitting there by my hand, all right?”

Another shared glance.

“That explains it,” Cal decided. It earned him a swift pinch on the arm from his sister. “Ow, hey—”

Tav looked between them again, trying to translate. “Explains what? Seriously, if I offended Rolan somehow, I want to kn—”

“You didn’t,” Lia cut in firmly. “This one here's just an idiot. It’s harder to control your tail when you're sick or tired, and Rolan’s been both, that’s all. I'm sure it was a mistake. And he shouldn't have minded you moving it,” she finished with a decisive nod.

With that, Lia snatched up the filled crate from her with one arm and grabbed her brother’s sleeve with the other. Cal stumbled slightly as she pulled him along, but he wisely held his tongue as they headed for the back stockroom. The hinges creaked shut behind them both.

Tav was left standing alone in the cavernous interior of Sorcerous Sundries, beside the desks that she and Rolan used to comfortably share—not sure if she should feel better or worse.

—

The next morning, Rolan was once again nowhere to be found.

He hadn’t even conjured his projection the way he usually did when occupied with research in the Tower. It was a shame; the shop was unusually busy by midday, and Cal and Lia worked without pause. When she could, Tav left her alchemy just to lend a hand with customers or make runs to the supply room.

She found herself worried to the point of irritation. Was Rolan really so stubborn that he wouldn’t take a potion? Or accept healing from someone he’d claimed was a trusted friend and colleague? She tried and failed not to be hurt by it.

Then again, Rolan had always been the type to shoulder his way through awful things alone while firmly turning down help—particularly from her. His apprenticeship, most recently. The memory made her radiantly angry on his behalf even now.

“Shit—” 

Tav jerked away from the flask and sucked on her freshly scalded thumb. She must have the ratios off again; this recipe wasn’t new to her, but the nuances had escaped her all morning. These sublimates shouldn’t get nearly so hot when mixed.

Might as well admit defeat and review the recipe before she wasted yet another bunch of black oleander. Surely there was a reference text somewhere in Rolan’s library?

Tav glanced around to the front of the shop. Cal was recording a sale at the front desk; Lia was chatting with a very large half-orc over near the conjurement runes. Things seemed well enough in hand. Tav damped the flame at her station and quietly took the stairs for the portal.

For lack of a better word: the library of Ramazith’s Tower was absolutely magical. 

Tav stood breathing in the quiet afternoon sunlight, taking an appreciative look up around her. The collection must be the best one this side of Candlekeep, with all sorts of books on spellcraft, Weave theory, alchemy, religion, the history of Toril—just to scratch the surface. She could think of no hands more deserving than the ones its ownership had fallen into.

Just as Lia mentioned the other day, Rolan had clearly been hard at work reorganizing the place. She ran her fingertips over the books’ spines as she walked around the perimeter of the main floor.

She imagined Rolan with his robe sleeves pushed to his elbows, enthusiastically at work in his book stacks, and bit back a grin. There was something so endearing about his passion for taming disorder. As she walked, she found her gaze drifting to the delicate staircase at the far end of the main floor. It spiraled upward invitingly. 

She’d never been to the upper floors of Ramazith’s Tower—nothing past the library. Certainly she hadn’t stepped foot in any of the private quarters of Rolan or his siblings. She wouldn’t even know which door led to whose.

But her mind wandered readily at the thought of Rolan’s bedroom. What it might look like…smell like. 

No doubt it was packed with shelves of books and scrolls, filled with the scent of fresh parchment and leather-bound volumes. That warm, bookish smell that seemed to be woven into his robes. The fresh hint of cedar from the way he kept his clothes meticulously cleaned and stored. And that other faint spice that she could never identify, but always picked up when he stood close to her.

The same scent that had filled her lungs with dizzy pleasure when he’d hovered close to her yesterday, chin brushing her shoulder and arm circled possessively around her waist— 

She bit her lip as heat pooled between her legs at the memory. She couldn't help it—how very fucking nice it had been to feel Rolan’s elegant hands on her, casually and effortlessly touching, as if he was accustomed to touching her much more often and much more intimately.

It would do no good to dwell on that moment. If anything, the uncharacteristic gesture was just proof of how out-of-sorts Rolan must be feeling. He was her friend, and by all accounts, he’d been too sick to leave his room for days. 

With a sudden burst of determination and a disregard for the consequences, she strode for the stairs.

Taking the curving ascent so rapidly left her dizzy. Tav planted her boots on the landing for a moment, holding onto the railing while she took in her surroundings.

This upper hall was also quietly sunlit, filled with fine carpeting and oak paneled walls; but the atmosphere was somehow less grand than the cavernous library below. More intimate. 

Two doors stood on both ends of the hall. Hazarding a guess, she stepped to the closest one on her left. Its heavy oak panels swung forward with the slightest touch.

Not a bedroom at all, but a bath—and a tremendously fine one at that. All the fixtures seemed to be wrought from polished gold. Underneath a towering stained glass window stood the deepest, widest clawfoot tub she’d ever seen.

As she gazed around, Tav caught sight of her reflection in a large glass above the sinks. Her hair was all frizzy flyaways from a day over her potion work. Indulging a bit of vanity, she paused to tame it with her fingers.

One of Rolan’s many endearing habits was his dedication to fastidiousness. Never a hair out of place, horns polished and shining, robes immaculately pressed—knowing him, with a bit of the Weave.

She must look like some sort of wild hedge witch by comparison. Tav had never minded life in the wilds as a wayward adventurer, even after the Elder Brain was felled to the Chionthar. It was part of what drew her to the career of a traveling alchemist. 

But there were moments…most of them in this Tower, with Rolan and his siblings. Sharing a meandering dinner at a real table with actual chairs. Sitting with Rolan out on the starlit balcony, discussing blood alchemy over a glass of wine as they watched the harbor.  

Tav forced her hands still and stared back at her reflection. 

“What do you want?” She muttered to herself. The Tav in the mirror had no answer. But in her mind, one softly bloomed.

Over the past months, her feelings had tumbled forward faster than she could keep up with them. Seeing Rolan, talking with him about anything and everything, working beside him in quiet moments—she found those were the moments she looked forward to most.

His offer to turn one of the Tower’s empty vaults into a greenhouse for her. Essentially giving her a permanent place in his home, if she wanted it. Was it stupid to hope that he wanted more, too?

As she stood frozen silent in the confines of her lavish surroundings, a muffled sound came from her right.

She hadn't noticed the second door past the bathtub; presumably connecting to one of the bedrooms. She realized it most likely led to Rolan’s.

She stepped toward the heavy oak paneling and raised a hand to knock. As she did, more muffled noises came from within. Tav hesitated, questioning whether she should—then leaned in to press one ear to the wood.

There were the sounds of labored breathing, as if from pain or exertion. She strained her ear harder. There was something almost…rhythmic in it.

And then—she could swear—she heard Rolan's voice groan her name aloud.

A shock of heat ran through her chest, prickling up her neck and diving between the cleft of her legs. The rapid, hot ache at her core made her gasp out in surprise, then clap a hand to her mouth lest he heard. She felt her cheeks burning with realization.

Whatever she had expected to find by wandering up here…this had never been on the list. All she saw in her mind’s eye was Rolan, sweating and panting and desperate. And that thought filled her with overwhelming want in response.

Tav pushed herself back from the door with a jolt. She turned and ran, not knowing or caring whether the ring of her footsteps on tile carried past the door. Her pulse pounded against her ears as she rushed out of the room and back for the staircase. 

Even before Tav’s foot hit the third stair, she knew she was headed for the Elfsong. And a very stiff fucking drink.

—

Day passed to night and back to day again in a feverish jumble. Like a vessel adrift in a vast ocean, Rolan was passed along wave after wave of searing impulse.

Had his ruts always been this overwhelming, and he’d just forgotten? Or was there something different about the drives this time around? 

Even the little dignities were stripped away, one by one. He began by conjuring mage hands at first, but his concentration faltered too many times at the cusp. He finally just settled for his own grip. Desperate sounds rose in his chest each time he neared his next finish, the likes of which he’d never utter voluntarily.

And he quickly gave up on clothes altogether. He lay naked and spread-eagle on his sheets and tried to sleep when he could, before his demanding cock inevitably twitched back to life again. The fever turned his dreams shockingly lewd whenever he did manage to drift off.

By sunset, another strong wave of need was pulsing through his core, demanding his attention. Rolan lay back against his pillows and groaned open-mouthed as he stroked himself.

Even slick with oil, the friction between his hand and the raw, overstimulated ridges of his cock bordered on painful. His finish danced out of reach to the back of his mind.

With an impatient growl, he flipped over to his knees and snatched up a feather pillow, folding it into a sleeve for his cock. A crude solution—but with his first few thrusts, the cool softness of the silk caused a moan of relief to rise in his throat. He squeezed his eyes shut as he fucked his own pillow in a desperate chase for relief.

And behind his eyelids, there she was again.

Tav appeared there so easily now. He’d tried to fight it at first—ashamed to be using her like this, without her knowledge or consent—but he found that nothing satisfied his urges so well as when he pictured her on his cock.

So he closed his eyes and imagined Tav…pliant, eager, hungry. Legs spread and center dripping with desire for him. The shameful depth of his need faded away as he fantasized her own. How her eyes might shine as she panted and gasped under him, calling him by name and begging him to fuck her and fill her and mark her as his—

What would she sound like as he took her? He conjured the timbre of her voice, always warm and musical, now canting to a whine as the ridges at his base slammed against her with each thrust.

Pressure coiled rapid and hot at his loins. Rolan slid off the mattress with legs braced, the pillow cast aside, and tugged frantically at his stiff length again. His tail arched and flicked behind him.

Through clenched eyelids he saw Tav laid at the foot of his bed, hair splayed in a messy crown against his sheets as she cried out his name. Her legs crossed behind his flanks to hold him deep inside her tight wet heat—

‘Rolan—’ She moaned louder, her heels digging into his lower back as he took her. Tav gripped two handfuls of the bedding underneath as he thrust relentlessly, chasing more of her heat around his cock, more of the delicious scent at her throat and between her legs—

“Rolan!”

“Fuck—” With a strangled gasp, Rolan’s hips stuttered one last time as his come spilled in ropes to the floor. Panting and shaking, he caught hold of the bed post with one hand as he frantically worked out the rest of his finish with the other. His head spun with the force of it.

But as he opened his eyes and his vision cleared, so did that cottony feeling in his ears. Someone was rapping insistently on the door to his room.

“Rolan, we need to talk—” Even muffled by the heavy wood, Tav’s voice was unmistakable.

“Fuck,” Rolan hissed again, this time with enough wits about him to panic. How much of that last performance could she hear through the door? He snatched up the nearest towel to wipe himself, then tripped away toward the pile of clothes on the floor that had lain untouched since yesterday.

“Go away,” he called tersely, nevertheless yanking the trousers up over his hips. Thank hells that last round had left him soft enough he could do up the laces for now.

On the other side of the door, she was undeterred. “I’m not leaving till I’ve seen you.”

Rolan cursed as one of his horns snagged the ties at the neck of his shirt. Once the fabric dropped over his torso, he whirled around to take in the state of his room. 

Bedsheets pulled sideways from the mattress; pillows strewn across the floorboards; air thick with the smell of him. Absolute filthy shambles.

Using a rush of energy he couldn't afford, he cast a mass prestidigitation spell on the space. The improvement in the air was immediate. But the resulting light-headedness caused him to stumble forward; he caught himself with a hand braced on the door frame.

“I'm not joking,” Tav called loudly, unaware he was now much closer.

He could have yelled at her to wait outside for another week, then, if he wasn't so sure she was stubborn enough to actually do so. After all, this was the person who’d defeated an Elder Brain and taken on several gods in the process.

That…and he found he badly wanted to see Tav in the flesh. Hearing her voice from just beyond his bedroom door only increased that desire. Rolan’s tail lashed behind him in helpless frustration.

“What do you want?” He asked instead, lowering his voice. No use broadcasting any more of this conversation to the whole Tower.

There was a pause on the other side of the oak paneling. “I’ve barely seen you since I got here,” Tav’s voice replied, matching his volume.

“And?” 

“And I'm worried about you…obviously,” she added. “Cal and Lia said you’re sick. But I’d feel better if we could talk face to face.” Even through the barrier between them, he could hear a strain in her voice. She wasn't lying. 

Rolan rested his horns against his braced forearm with a sigh. “Tav, I swear I'm perfectly fine.”

“Then just open the door a moment. Please, Rolan?”

It was far too pleasant to hear her say his name outside of his own imaginings. Rolan glanced down at himself. Barefoot, shirt untucked, but technically presentable. And not pitching a tent for once in the past twenty-four hours. 

“If I do, will you leave?” 

There was another pause. “If you want me to,” came the reply. He unbolted the latch and drew it open to shoulder width.

The wave of Tav’s scent hit him almost before he registered her face in front of him. The sweetness of it overwhelmed his other senses for a moment. It tested all Rolan’s limited reserves of sanity not to grab her by the waist and pull her body against him.

Unaware of the silent struggle raging in his chest, Tav stood with face tilted up toward his. Her eyes had traveled over his figure immediately, checking him over with a worried little crease between her brows. Something at the side of his head caught her eye; Rolan realized his hair hung loose and rather sweaty, exposing the slender tips of his ears.

Her demeanor changed at the sight. Tav sighed, leaning her head against the flat of the door.

“You’re even handsome with a fever,” she told him softly.

Rolan blinked at her. Perhaps exhaustion and hormones were driving him to hallucinations. “What are you—”

Faster than he could react, her palms landed on either side of his face, and Tav pulled his mouth down to hers.

A burst of colors exploded behind his eyes; the sensation of her lips moving on his kindled the dormant heat in his body to wild blaze. She notched her hands upward as she kissed him, and her fingers slid up along the sensitive tapers of both his ears.

Rolan let out a hungry, animal sound against her mouth. Both hands landed on her back and crushed the line of her body forward into his, leaving no space between them. He could feel the soft hills of her breasts pressing against his chest through clothing. The warm scent rolling off her skin and hair surrounded him with dizzying force.

The higher part of his mind was screaming at him. Rolan desperately tried to focus on what it was saying; as he did, he caught the tang of wine on her lips. The discovery gave him just enough will to pull back from her.

And he did, with one jerking step back into his chambers. “You can’t be here.”

Tav stood panting through parted lips, eyes half-lidded as they traveled over him. Rolan felt flames lick his skin everywhere they moved.

“Why not?” She breathed. “I wanted to see you.”

“You’re drunk,” he told her. He rather felt that way himself, still reeling from the electricity of kissing her.

Tav pouted at that, and Rolan wished to bite that lower lip firmly between his teeth. “I’m not drunk,” she corrected. “I’ve had a drink. There’s a difference.”

“You wouldn’t be here if—”

“If what?” Tav watched him as she took a step closer. Rolan stepped back in tandem, reflexive. She was well over the threshold now. “If I knew what was really happening to you?”

Those words sounded much more knowing than he liked. Rolan stared at her, trying to read into her face. He swallowed against the dry lump of his tongue and went out on a limb. “Which one of them told you?”

Tav shook her head. “Cal and Lia have been nothing but discreet.” 

“Then how could you possibly understand?” He demanded. The very recent discovery of how soft Tav’s lips were was making it very difficult to maintain this conversation. He could still feel the way her body had pressed into him.

One corner of her mouth twitched. “Rolan, I’d like to think I’m not completely oblivious. There have been…signs. And I’ve had a lot of time to think about them. I’ve been at the Elfsong all afternoon, just—thinking.”

At that, Rolan felt his tail twitching nervously behind him. “I see,” he replied. Pivoting, like an idiot, trying to pretend this was a perfectly acceptable conversation to have with the woman who occupied most of his thoughts when he was pleasuring himself. “And you think that I—that my—”

Tav made a quick twisting motion to get around the door. She latched it and drew the bolt closed behind them, then turned back to him.

“A lot of humans have heard rumors about Tieflings,” she confessed. “Some stupid, but some credible. I’m saying this is maybe not the secret that you think it is.” As he watched, a much deeper blush spread over Tav’s cheeks. She glanced away to the side. 

“Rolan…I grew up in the Dales, remember? Around rabbits, and cattle, and oxen. Half my friends lived on farms.”

Her analogy couldn’t be clearer. To hear her lay it out so plainly—Rolan felt the last dregs of his pride shrivel up and die. He gripped two palms over his eyes and let out a groan of abject humiliation, turning away to the middle of the room. 

How early had she connected the dots? The moment she felt him brazenly place a hand around her? Had she known all along that he was locked up here, rutting into every one of his pillows?

“Look, Rolan, I’m sorry—I didn’t know how else to say it—” 

Completely overwhelmed by his embarrassment, he hadn’t heard her follow. When Rolan finally dropped his hands from his face, he turned to find Tav standing very close to his chest.

“And I’m sorry for kissing you before,” she blurted out. “I mean, I’m not sorry for it…I’ve wanted to do that for a long time, to be honest. But it wasn’t fair. I just…wanted to know how you’d react.”

Rolan watched as her chest rose and fell heavily where she stood. The look in her eyes made his blood pound through his veins. He felt an urge to reach out and smooth back her hair to bring her in for another kiss, one he resisted.

“I care about you,” Rolan told her, before he could lose his nerve. “Our friendship. I respect you, Tav, it’s not worth—muddying things with this.” 

He felt fingers lacing through the ones that hung at his side, and despite his words Rolan tightened his grip automatically. Her hand was so pleasantly cool against the heat of his skin.

“Why do you think I’m here?” Tav answered earnestly. “I care about you, too. If I can help, I want to. Please—”

She was so close to him; Rolan breathed shallowly, but the warm scent rolling off her skin and hair nevertheless swept past him with dizzying force.

“You don’t know what you’re offering,” he managed hoarsely.

She didn’t falter. “Then tell me what else you think I should know.”

His senses were growing clouded with her; the offer that had tumbled so easily from her rang in his ears. It made the thread of Rolan’s control stretch dangerously taut.

“I won’t be gentle,” he warned. 

His inadvertent shift in tone changed something in the air between them. There was a crackling energy that hadn't been there a second before.

Tav licked her lips as she watched him. “Good.”

Rolan thought he might melt from the heat that spread across his skin. His tail snapped against the mattress behind him. If she moved a step closer, she’d feel how hard he was in his pants.

“Mating bites,” he went on hoarsely. “I’ll mark you. Quite a lot. I’ll try not to draw blood, but…I can’t promise it.”

Tav nodded. “What else?” She asked, encouraging him to go on. 

Rolan swallowed against the embarrassment. But this was important for her to know. “This time for us, it’s all about…reproduction. We become quite virile.” He nearly choked, but there was simply no other way to put it. “For the urges to pass quicker, I need to come in you.”

Tav let out a throaty hum of approval. His cock twitched in his pants at the sound. “That’s fine, I take preventatives—it’s safe.”

They stood looking at each other for another moment. That shivery, electric feeling buzzed in the air around them. Rolan wondered if she could hear the way his heart drummed against his ribs.

Tav leaned in slightly. “Well…” She said, and her wet tongue passed nervously between her lips again.

That taut thread in his chest snapped in two. Rolan crushed her up against him with a whimper. Arms circling around her waist, he nudged a thigh between her legs and firmly ground their hips together.

Tav matched his eagerness. Their lips crashed together; at the back of his mind, he felt her grip cradling under each of his ears. Her fingertips licked like flame against his scalp.

Even through layers of clothing, he could feel the heat of her. Rolan jerked her hips forward harder against his thigh; the swelling length of his cock pressed against her soft, yielding center. Tav dipped her head back from the kiss, arching into him with a moan, and her fingertips laced at the nape of his neck. 

It offered an irresistible angle at the column of her throat. Rolan’s claws raked back in her hair, pulling it to a tight ponytail. Then he tugged firmly, holding her open as his mouth descended on her neck.

He kissed and sucked along the band of muscle from her ear to the curve of her shoulder, then parted his lips to bite down firmly on her soft flesh. 

“Yes,” Tav moaned in approval above him. Her hips rolled into his, grinding herself against the hard cock straining in his pants. Rolan felt her pulse skip against his mouth. Only when he tasted sweet copper did he pull away, laving his tongue over the crimson pin-pricks of his teeth into her skin.

He took only a moment to admire the trail of marks blooming along her neck. Tav was already pulling him in for another kiss. Their lips crashed together with bruising force; her tongue explored, tasting, searching for proof of her blood against his tongue and moaning against him when she found it.

Her scent filled his mind. Without breaking from her mouth, he plucked open the laces of her pants. Rolan slipped his hand under the waistband, beneath her smalls, and slid two fingers to dip down between her legs. Her folds were shining-slick; as he nudged her in circles, a trickle of her arousal rolled down his fingers. She shivered prettily under his touch.

“You’re soaked,” Rolan groaned against her neck. 

“All because of you,” she breathed without hesitation. “Been wanting this, gods, wanting you for months. Your hands on me—cock in me—”

At the words he withdrew his fingers from her impatiently, then sucked them clean. Her sweet taste on his tongue made his cock ache. She scarcely had time to curse at the sight before Rolan gripped both arms around her waist to lift her into him.

With one quick pivot, he landed her down on the bed with his frame pressed into her. Her legs hung off the edge from the hip down, and he used the position to grind the stiff length in his pants against her cleft.

Even fully clothed, it was maddening. He could feel the wet patch between her legs, and when she arched further into him, a primal growl rumbled in his chest. 

Tav’s fingers were brushing at his sides, tugging at the hem of his shirt. “Off,” she panted impatiently.

Rolan tilted back to rip the garment up over his horns, immediately reaching for her own once his was free. He stripped her frantically, ripping her smallclothes in two before he could work them down her thighs.

When she lay bare beneath him, moaning and arching into everywhere he touched, he was overcome with hunger for more of her taste. 

Rolan gripped her hips, dragging her with a jerk to the edge of the bed. With her glistening folds displayed before him, all he could do was drop to his knees and bury his tongue between them.

The sounds she made were like sweet music as he explored her. He sucked and massaged her slit with his tongue, then plunged it as deep within her walls as he could. His eyes rolled back in his head. Her taste surrounded him; his nose brushed her clit as he ate her, further overwhelming his senses with the scent of her arousal.

“Gods, yes, Rolan—” Tav moaned above him as her hands flew to grip each of his horns. She alternately tugged them and arched into his mouth, grinding her clit against his face.

He wanted to hear her say his name like that another thousand times. Rolan curled his tongue against her walls, determined to taste her even deeper, but to no avail. Without his sharp nails, he would have sunk two fingers into her.

Instead, as his mouth left her, the ridged end of his tail looped around to brush over her slit.

“Ah—” Tav gasped from the bed. One of her hands left him to prop up on an elbow to look. 

He watched her face in adoration as his tail slid between her soaked lips, coating itself in a mixture of her arousal and his saliva. Once it was thoroughly wet, he let the heart-shaped tip push experimentally into her.

Whatever hesitation he had evaporated at the way she arched and keened. He pushed in further, inch by inch, hissing in breath at how tight and wet her walls squeezed around him. Rolan felt his cock leaking between his legs at the sight of his tail disappearing into her plush cunt.

“Taking my tail so well,” Rolan praised without thinking, then groaned. “Fuck, Tav, you’re so tight—”

“Don’t stop,” she demanded, breathless.

When he felt the tip brush the limits of her insides, he held it steady as she panted down at him. Her mouth hung open in anticipation as she watched him lean in again for her center.

But instead of landing on her clit, his mouth met with the soft skin of her inner thigh and sucked it firmly between his teeth.

Tav gave a little yelp of pain, but her walls constricted around his tail so hard he moaned against her flesh. He left two more lovely red marks against her thigh before withdrawing his tail from her, leaving only the tip inside her silk.

Then he thrust back into her and took up a forceful rhythm of stretching her open on his tail.

“Fucking gods,” she gasped, gripping both his horns again. He felt her use them as leverage as she bounced her hips down to meet him. 

“Like this, don’t you?” Rolan urged her on, drunk off her desire. “Fucking yourself on my tail—” He leaned down to take another taste of her clit, swirling and sucking as the ridges on his tail dragged more wetness out of her with each thrust.

“Yes,” Tav moaned, shaking under him as his tongue worked over her clit. “Feels so perfect in me, so—ngh—!”

When he flicked the tip of it up inside her, Tav’s words stuttered to incoherence. He felt her inner walls clench and flutter, and repeated the motion over and over with each thrust.

“I’m—oh, oh ohohoh—”

She dissolved into soft cries. The muscles at her core tensed and shuddered as she climaxed against his tongue. Rolan withdrew his tail from her with a slick release, instead clasping his mouth over her to lap down the sweet taste that poured from her. His pants were so wet he was nearly convinced he’d already come, but he felt his cock straining against the fabric just as firmly.

When her thighs collapsed limp to either side, Rolan pushed himself to his feet for a look at her. Tav’s eyes were bright, cheeks flushed with arousal, her hair coiled out in wild tendrils that framed her like a crown. Their eyes met; with both hands on his arms, she pulled him down for a kiss.

Rolan landed braced on his forearms. Their tongues slid and pushed together, trading the taste of her release. When he felt her reaching between them to undo his laces, he pulled away to loose them and strip off the rest of his clothes. 

Tav reached for his erection, and before he’d steadied himself, she gripped his length to drag the generous droplets of precum around his tip with her thumb. His hips bucked into her.

“Eager, aren’t you?” She teased softly.

“Yes,” Rolan groaned. Tav’s soft hand was around his cock for the first time; it was all he could do to locate words. He knew his face was flushed and tense with arousal, but Tav only looked up at him with appreciation from where she lay back on his bed. 

When she guided his length across the wet of her core, he rocked his hips to drag his ridges across her. She shivered slightly, still sensitive, but rolled into him.

“Need you,” Rolan panted, not sure whether he was asking her or begging. “Tav—please—”

Tav’s hand lined him up with her entrance. When his leaking tip nudged inside her, Rolan pushed forward with one slow, determined cant of his hips.

The cool slick of her walls clutched each inch of him so perfectly. A low groan rose in Rolan’s throat—this was the closest thing to real satisfaction that he’d gotten in days, and he hadn't even started moving yet.

“So good,” Tav said under him, voice sweet and husky. “Keep going—”

Rolan braced his hands against her hips. He pulled out slowly, legs shaking beneath him, then pushed back into the tight plush of her. 

His hips took up a firm pace, and Rolan couldn't bite back his whines as he plunged his cock inside her. Whatever his fevered imagination had conjured, it was nothing compared to this—he fell over her again, fangs skating against her breast as her body rocked under him with each thrust.

“Yes, yes, fuck—” Tav was just as breathless as her fingers gripped the infernal ridges on his shoulder blades. She tugged, egging him on.

Rolan took the invitation with enthusiasm. He nipped and sucked around the swell of her breast, breathing in lungfuls of the sweetness rolling off her skin.

“Harder,” Tav begged, the words vibrating against his lips. The hunger inside him surged in agreement.

Rolan’s lips fastened over one nipple. He sucked, hard, letting his tongue roll her against his teeth. Tav let out a whimper, but he felt her legs crossing around his hips as he continued to bury himself in her.

Rolan pulled away to look at her face. A mist of sweat dusted her brow; Tav’s lips were parted and twitching with silent words. 

“Look at me,” Rolan ordered, still filling her with his cock in a steady rhythm.

Tav obeyed, her eyes shining and pupils blown wide. He straightened away from her, never breaking, and laid a hand each on her calves. Then he pushed up, folding her legs to her chest and opening up her cunt even deeper for him.

“You look so beautiful like this, Tav,” he told her, thighs trembling with the effort of keeping his pace slow and steady. “Folded in half in my bed. Stretched around my cock so perfectly.”

In response, Tav’s hands grabbed her knees, pulling herself open even further to each side. “Is this how you imagined it?” She asked wickedly. “All alone—wishing it was me and not your own hand—”

Heat prickled across his neck and shoulders, but Rolan was too far gone to feel shame. He couldn't resist breaking eye contact, however, watching the way his cock stretched open her dripping cunt.

“Just like this,” he panted in answer. She took in breath to respond, but he was already slamming back into her at a reckless pace.

The lewd, wet sounds of his thrusts filled the room, layered with their chorus of whines and moans. Rolan shuddered at how slick and tight she was around him, perfectly gripping each inch of his needy length. His cock throbbed in anticipation of a satisfying release, finally, after all these times of not quite enough—

“I’m close,” he panted, gripping her hips to pull her down deeper onto his cock. The tip of him nudged against the limits of her walls. “Where should—”

“Inside,” Tav insisted, still holding herself wide for him. “Only inside, Rolan, want you to fill me up—fuck—”

The imagery pushed him over the edge, and he did just that. With a throb of release, he felt his cock pulsing and filling her deepest walls with his seed. His hips stuttered into her as he pushed his spend as far into her as he could reach.

Tav clutched his shoulders as he came, humming and moaning out praises for him. Their hips rocked together, nudging his coated length back against her deep center. 

Tav went tense under him. He forced his eyes open and saw her lips parted in surprise.

“I’m—oh—!” 

She gasped in shock as her own climax gripped her. Rolan hissed in breath at the way she clenched and fluttered so suddenly around him. His length was still hard, and his ridges pulsed against her.

As she drifted back down, Tav’s eyes finally lit on him in a daze. “What…what was that?”

Rolan was abruptly reminded of how many ruts he’d spent without a partner. “I'm sorry, I should've warned you,” he confessed. It was hard to form his thoughts while still inside her. “During the cycle…infernal traits get stronger. Like incubi. Helps attract a partner.” Somehow this explanation was more embarrassing than any of the other filth he’d just spoken to her.

Tav stared up at him. “You're saying your come is going to make me come?”

“Essentially.” Rolan shifted inside her slightly, still not confident he was done. “I apologize—I didn't think to tell you. Is that a problem?”

“Rolan—” Tav let out a breathless laugh, and the sound went straight to his chest. “This is the exact opposite of a problem. Just a bit of a shock, that's all.”

The lovely sight of her happy and satisfied under him was too much to resist. Rolan leaned forward on his arms to kiss her, trapping her legs between their chests.

As her hand stroked softly under his jaw, Rolan felt a second ache settling in his loins. He released her lips for just long enough to push her legs out over his hips, then ducked back down for her mouth.

He rolled his hips into her slower this time, but it was somehow more intense. Their lips stayed connected as he drove into her deep. Her walls were slippery with arousal and his own seed, and they gripped like pure silk around his cock. Her opening slid over the sensitive ridges at his base with each thrust.

When he dipped a thumb between their bodies to rub circles over her clit, Tav broke away with a little gasp.

“I can’t again,” she said, panting.

“You can,” he told her simply. “Hold on to me—” 

She did, wrapping both arms and legs firmly around him as if he was her anchor. Rolan dipped his head to her neck as he doubled his pace, their hips slotting together with each brisk slide into her. He breathed deep against the curve of her shoulder.

Still so hungry for release, it wasn't long before he came again hard. This time he just barely pumped his spend into her before he pulled out to look down.

Sticky white seed dribbled out of her slit, running down toward her hole. He dipped the thumb circling her clit down to swipe it back up across her cunt, painting his come across the bundle of nerves at her peak.

Tav’s thighs twitched under him, and she gripped his arm tight with one hand. She swore as he continued flicking across her clit with the wet pad of his thumb, then whined out his name.

While her next orgasm nearly doubled her in half, Rolan tilted his head to watch the sight between her legs. She was soaked, twitching, utterly intoxicating. Her contracting walls pushed more of his spend out of her; it flowed generously from her slit and soaked down into the bedding below.

Finding himself now utterly spent, Rolan collapsed on his back next to her. As he did, he realized his legs had grown fatigued to the point of buckling from the exertions. He let his body sink heavy into the mattress. 

“I made a mess on your sheets,” Tav panted from beside him. 

Rolan groaned at her descriptive language. The fact that his length continued softening was a sign his urges were finally giving him a reprieve, however. “It was mostly my fault.”

She only let out a weak breath of laughter.

Too tired to trust his shaking legs, he reached an arm blind over the side of the bed and snatched up the first fabric it touched. His discarded shirt.

Pushing himself seated, he gently reached to dry between Tav’s legs. One of her hands traced the ridges on his back as he quietly tended to her.

“How long before the next?” She asked him.

“An hour or two.” Rolan didn't look at her. “Tav, you've done more than enough for m—”

The mattress shifted as she sat up and turned his face into a waiting kiss. It was soft, just a chorus of little presses across his lips.

When Tav pulled away, she tucked the damp curtain of his hair behind one ear. “Rolan, unless you want me to go, I'm staying until it’s over.”

Rolan cast a glance over her. Despite the fact that she was naked in his bed and covered in blooming bruises from his mouth, she was very much the same Tav as ever. “Thank you,” he told her quietly.

She pushed him onto his back with a sudden laugh, landing with her chest pressed to his. “What an utterly Rolan thing to say,” she mused. “Need I remind you I just came three times?”

Tav was teasing him, and was of a mind to put her in her place—only he found that none of his limbs wanted to move at the moment. Instead, his only response was a deep hum as his eyelids drooped shut.

He felt the mattress shift as she rose and wished he could reach out to stop her. But a moment later she curled up next to him again, dragging a soft quilt over their bodies. 

Rolan turned inward to rest his head on Tav’s chest—and fell into his first real slumber in days.

[monzabee]

déjà vu (beyoncé’s version) – ln4

masterlist

Summary: The one where a bad prank leads to you and Lando exploring an option you thought was not an option.

Pairing: lando norris x bestfriend!reader (nicknamed Tink)

Word Count: 5.2k

Warnings: smut elements but no actual smut, cursing, pining and of course fluff!

Request: “Haiiii. I love your style of writing Lando and feel like you would 100% do a request justice to scratch the itch in my brain Reader and him have been childhood friends, mutual pining with some sexual tension but never crossed lines other than a new years kiss with friends etc. So reader ends up training and qualifying as a physio/masseuse and travelling with Lando bc fun besties on tour together yay! Thinking she ends up getting to know his body really well from that and has to massage some intimate area- tension builds blah. They have a cosy night in together after front row quali to prep for the race, face masks cuddles bc really physically comfortable together and then some confessions happen. After this going out to celebrate home race (not jinxing tomorrow!!) and reader ends up dancing with another driver, Lando gets jealous fully opens up and they go home together (as much detail on that as you feel comfortable with) No probs if it’s something you don’t feel inspired to write! Pls continue writing whatever you love because I love to read your stuff!!”

Author’s Note: hi, hey, hello!! am i back after a literal month of no fics?? i hope so!! thank you so much for being patient with me you guysi i appreciate it, and i just want to say that this was the first time i wrote for lando (and you can definitely thank @userlando and her lando brainrot posts for that) and i’m kind of obsessed!! so as always, thank you to the anon for the request, and i hope you guys enjoy! good morning, noon or night wherever you are, xoxobee

Please also note that all of my works are protected under copyright, and not available for reposting on other platforms. 

Being friends with Lando has resulted in both of you getting in trouble way too many times, you realise. The most recent case? The both of you ended up in a supply closet nearby the Aston Martin hospitality, hiding from a very, very, angry Spaniard. The close proximity and the limited space wouldn’t have been a big issue, for if Lando wasn’t looking at you with that look in his eyes. Under normal other circumstances, your reaction would’ve been much more different to the one you give him now – which is a glare that shows him you are not happy with the situation the both of you are in.

You’re about to scold him, but the words on your tongue quickly die as he presses his index finger to your lips. “I know you’re about to yell at me,” he whispers as he tries to keep his voice as low as possible, “but I really don’t want to be found right now.”

“Then maybe you should’ve thought about that before, you bloody idiot.” You hiss while slapping his hand away, which wins you a mock pout in return. “Why would you play that song every time he walked into a room?”

“It’s his name,” Lando tries to reason, “I thought he’d be used to it by now!”

Here’s the sitch. Lando, being the absolute prankster he is, decided to play ‘Fernando’ every time his former teammate entered into a room that morning – which resulted in the Spaniard becoming more and more annoyed with him until he snapped and Lando had to find himself a hiding place. How did you get roped into this, you may ask? You have absolutely no idea, other than your best friend dragging you into a nearby storage closet as you were walking back to the McLaren hospitality after meeting up with some of your friends for a cup of coffee. And now? The two of you are stuck inside a closet which is obviously too small for you both, and Lando has to bend his neck in an uncomfortable position.

“Lando,” you whisper in an attempt to keep your voice down, “don’t bend your head like that, you’ll strain something.”

“Well it’s not exactly comfortable, Tink.” He grimaces as one of the shelves hit his neck, which causes him to let out a low groan.

Ignoring the nickname he’s used for years, you motion him to move lower. “Just– let me see, okay?”

He begrudgingly nods as he bends his body towards you to accommodate you. You let your fingers run across his skin to find any knots along his shoulders. He lets out another low groan, but this one is more appreciative as you work some of the knots your fingers end up finding.

You watch as Lando’s expression changes from painful discomfort to relief as your fingers work their magic on his tense muscles. For a brief moment, it's just the two of you in the confined space, and you almost get lost in the comfortable silence. “Feels good,” Lando murmurs, his voice barely above a whisper, “I swear you have magic hands or something.”

You let out a breathy chuckle, “I just know your body, Lando.” After realising the words that come out of your mouth, your face flushes with embarrassment at the unintended implication of your words and you scramble to add, “Not like that, I didn’t mean–”

He smirks playfully, his eyes sparkling mischievously. “Oh, really? My body, huh? You think about my body often?” he teases, his hands squeezing your waist – and being lost in the moment, you don’t even know how they ended up there.

Your cheeks grow even hotter, and you feel your heart rate quicken. “No, that's not what I meant,” you stammer, trying to regain your composure, “and you know it’s basically my job to think about, you know?”

The mischievous glint in his eyes shine brightly as he decides to play dumb, “To think about what, baby?”

Your heart skips a beat at his teasing, and you can't help but let out a small laugh, trying to hide your embarrassment. “Don't be ridiculous, Lando,” you retort, trying to act cool despite the butterflies in your stomach. “I meant knowing your body like an expert, considering the fact that you pull a muscle every time you decide to do a physical activity.”

He chuckles, and his hands, still resting on your waist, give you a playful squeeze. "Sure, sure, Tink," he replies, a hint of playfulness in his voice. "But let's be honest, it's not just my body you know well. You practically read my mind too."

You roll your eyes, trying to playfully push him away. "Oh, please. You're not that hard to figure out."

Lando leans in a little closer, his grin still evident. "Is that so? Then tell me, oh expert of Lando Norris, what am I thinking right now?"

You raise an eyebrow, not falling for his trick. "You're probably thinking that you got away with the Fernando prank and now you owe me big time, your brain is empty most of the time."

He smirks, impressed by your response. "You're good, Tink. But you're right, I do owe you one. What can I do to make it up to you?"

You pause, the closeness between the two of you making it difficult to think clearly. "Well, for starters, maybe you can stop dragging me into your pranks and getting us into trouble," you suggest with a hint of a smile. “And I don’t know, maybe take pole for me, you know?”

As the playful banter continues, you both seem to forget about the predicament you're in. The confined space of the closet no longer feels suffocating; instead, it becomes a haven for shared laughter and camaraderie.

Just as the two of you are lost in the moment, the closet door suddenly opens, and you both freeze. The angry Spaniard stands before you once again, but this time, his expression has softened, seeing you and Lando in a surprisingly intimate moment.

"Am I interrupting something?" Fernando asks, his tone amused.

Your face turns beet red, and Lando lets out a nervous chuckle. "Oh, hey there. Just having a chat, you know."

But Fernando raises an eyebrow, still looking amused. "In a supply closet?"

You and Lando exchange a sheepish glance, realizing how the situation must appear to Fernando. "Well, we kind of got caught up in the moment," you admit, hoping he doesn't read too much into it.

Fernando chuckles, and there's a warm glint in his eyes. "I see. Well, it's none of my business, but you might want to find a less cramped place to chat next time."

You nod in agreement, grateful that Fernando seems to be taking the situation lightly. "You're right. We'll keep that in mind," you say, trying to sound casual.

Lando adds with a grin, "Yeah, and we promise not to play 'Fernando' every time you enter a room from now on." But he’s quick to correct himself when you give him a glare, “I promise not to play 'Fernando' every time you enter a room from now on."

Fernando chuckles again, seemingly amused by the whole ordeal. "I'd appreciate that. Anyway, carry on. I won't keep you two any longer."

As he walks away, you let out a sigh of relief. "That could have been a lot worse," you say, feeling a mix of embarrassment and amusement.

"Yeah, we got lucky," Lando agrees, giving you a playful nudge. "But you know what they say, Tink, nothing like a bit of closet bonding to strengthen a friendship."

You roll your eyes at his playful banter, but there's a fondness in your heart as you look at him. "You're incorrigible, Lando Norris."

He grins, "You love it, though."

You can't help but smile, knowing he's right. “Come on,” you say, “you have a quali to attend.”

The tension from the qualifying session had left you on edge, your heart pounding with every lap, and your nerves had gotten the better of you, leading to some slightly bloody nails from biting them in anticipation. But all that anxiety melts away when you see Lando step out of the car, grinning ear to ear. As soon as he catches sight of you, he opens his arms, and you don't hesitate for a moment. You rush into his embrace, holding him tightly, relieved that he's safe and thrilled that he performed so well.

"You were amazing out there!" you exclaim, unable to hide the pride in your voice. "P2, front row! That's incredible!"

Lando chuckles, his arms still wrapped around you. "I don’t know how we did it!"

You pull back slightly to look into his eyes, your heart swelling with admiration for your best friend. "I never doubted you for a second," you say earnestly.

His grin widens, and he playfully ruffles your hair. "I know you didn't. Seems like you’re my lucky charm, hm?"

“You know what that means?” You ask him return, a playful smirk on your lips.

His answer comes quickly, and his look seems to reflect your own, “Pizza and a movie?”

Your reply is just as enthusiastic as you throw your arms around him and give him a big smile, “Pizza and a movie, baby!”

Eventually, you manage to escape the whole hustle and bustle of the circuit, and you and Lando find yourselves back at the hotel, with you on the couch trying to find something to watch and him deciding to take a quick shower after the stressful day of qualifying. After a few minutes, you hear the sound of the shower running in the bathroom. You smile to yourself, glad that Lando is taking some time to relax after such a demanding day. As you wait for him to finish, you finally settle on a movie to watch with a small grin on your face, clearly pleased with your choice. Just as you're about to start the movie, you hear the bathroom door open, and Lando emerges, looking refreshed and relaxed.

After he gets the pizza box out of the oven, he walks over to the couch, wearing sweatpants instead of his jeans, and flops down next to you. "That shower was exactly what I needed," he says with a contented sigh.

You chuckle, glancing at him, while also trying to actively ignore the fact that he’s wearing grey sweatpants. "Feeling better now?"

"Definitely," he replies, flashing you a grin. "So, what are we watching?"

“Mamma Mia,” you scoff, “of course.”

“A classic, nice.” He nods in understanding, extending the pizza box to you for you to take a slice. “It’s still warm.”

You wordlessly grab a slice and pass the box back to Lando as you settle in your seat, ready to focus on your choice of movie. The comfortable silence between you feels familiar, like the unspoken language of best friends who have shared countless memories and moments together. Throughout the movie, you can't help but notice Lando's occasional stolen glances at you, and you find yourself stealing glances right back. He even winks at you with that boyish grin every time he catches you staring at him, making you giggle as you quickly turn your attention back onto the screen. You somehow find yourself sprawled out on the couch once the pizza box is emptied and discarded, and it’s harder for you to keep your eyes open. With your head on Lando’s lap, he plays with the ends of your hair as the two of you try to keep your attention on the screen.

‘Try,’ being the operative word here, since Lando realises that you end up falling asleep in the middle of the movie where Sophie realises all of the men she invited to the wedding thinks they are her father, and though he finds some kind of comfort in the chaos knowing that it will get resolved eventually, he can’t help but take his role as a makeshift human pillow very seriously. As the movie continues playing, Lando tries his best not to disturb your peaceful slumber. He leans back against the couch, adjusting his position so you can rest more comfortably on his lap while also trying so hard to not wake you up. He can't help but smile to himself as he plays with your hair, finding himself mesmerized by the gentle rise and fall of your chest as you breathe.

With a sudden realisation that maybe it is not the best thing to stare at you while you sleep, he tries to occupy himself with something on his phone while also trying to keep still so that you don’t wake up. However, the text thread between him and Max quickly makes him realise that the thoughts that he tries so hard to keep away. He never gave himself the opportunity to think about the two of you that way, he supposes. Not that it would be weird or anything, but in his mind, he’d seen, and been in, far too many relationships form and de-form to know that not all is permanent when it comes to relationships and it’s also not something he’d want to risk when it comes to you. Although the unwarranted thoughts of the two of you together, as a couple, have been haunting him for the past couple of months, he did a great job of sending them away and finding something else to focus on – up until now, that is. And now that he’s pictured the two of you together, holding hands in the streets of Monaco, going on dates, doing more than what ‘best friends’ are meant to do, it doesn’t seem that daunting to give it a try.   

He carefully shifts you onto his lap with gentle movements, surprised that you don’t wake up and also trying to figure out the best way to wake you up without startling you. As he gently brushes your cheek, your eyes flutter open, and you look up at him with a sleepy smile. "Did I miss the end of the movie?" you ask, your voice still heavy with sleep.

Lando chuckles, shaking his head, but not stilling the movement of his hand. “No, we just finished. You fell asleep somewhere in the middle.”

You sit up slightly, rubbing your eyes with a small yawn. “I'm sorry,” you say, sounding apologetic.

“No need to apologise,” he assures you, his thumb caressing your cheek. “You looked adorable sleeping, Tink.”

Your cheeks flush slightly, and you give him a playful nudge. “Stop teasing me.”

Lando grins, but there's a tenderness in his eyes as he looks at you. “I'm not teasing, Tink. I mean it. You always look adorable, no matter what you're doing.”

You feel your heart skip a beat at his sincere compliment, and you can't help but smile back. “Thank you,” you say softly, feeling a warmth spreading through you, “I, uh, I should probably go to my room and let you sleep.”

“What? No, you don’t have to go.” Lando’s eyebrows furrow on their own, “I mean, you could stay over, it’s not like we haven’t done it before.”

You give him an unsure look, “I don’t know, Lando, you have a race tomorrow.”

“And we’ll sleep,” he shrugs, “the name ‘sleepover’ implies that, baby.”

You end up giving in and nodding, albeit a little hesitant. "Alright, I'll stay over."

Lando's face lights up with a bright smile, clearly pleased with your decision. "Great! It'll be fun, just like old times."

You chuckle softly. "Yeah, just like old times."

And you’d expect it to feel like the old times, because the two of you said it would be like the old times – the times where you’d spend the night over at his house because his mother picked you up and you didn’t want the playtime to be over. But instead of the excitement of a prolonged play date with your best friend, you find yourself anxious in the hotel bathroom over the fact that it’s him out there, and there is no way that he is not aware of the way you feel about him. You take a moment to compose yourself, splashing some cold water on your face to calm your nerves. This situation is new territory for both of you, and you don't want anything to ruin the friendship the two of you have. When you eventually make your way out of the bathroom, you desperately want to go back in, feeling undoubtedly exposed under Lando’s burning gaze.

“What?” You ask, your voice coming off weaker than you hoped, “Why are you looking at me like that?”

It takes a minute for him to answer you, mainly because of the fact that poor Lando is having a brain malfunction at the sight of you in his shirt – which he gave it to you because it was the only logical option for sleepwear, you know? Suddenly regretting his possessive streak, he attempts to clear his throat, “Nothing, you look good in my clothes.”

Your eyebrows shoot up, and you try not to let yourself become reduced to a blubbering mess, “Oh, well thank you. It’s yours,” after a brief moment of realisation you quickly add, “but you already knew that.”

“Tink,” he calls out, snapping you out of whatever embarrassed state you’re in, and your eyes quickly snap to his. “Come here,” he pleads as he extends one of his towards you, he’s quick to draw you into his arms – and just like that, you find yourself straddling your best friend.

“This is crazy,” you whisper as Lando grabs you by the waist to still your movements as you try to find a comfortable position while not realising just how uncomfortable it becomes for him.

“It doesn’t have to be,” his whisper is just as soft as yours as he looks up to you, “we don’t have to make it weird.”

A compromise, you’ll take it. “Are you going to kiss me?”

“Do you want me to kiss you?” As much as you hate it when he replies to your questions with his own, you nod your head with a sheepish look on your face, though it doesn’t satisfy Lando as a valid answer. “I need you to say it, baby.”

You answer comes of in an instant. “I do, please.”

“Such good manners,” he mumbles while giving you that boyish grin you love oh so much. When he catches biting the corner of your lip, you’re broken out of your daydream by his thumb pulling your lip free. “Don’t do that, you’ll hurt yourself,” his thumb caresses the side of your lip, “that’s my job, anyway.”

Your cheeks flush at his playful comment, and you can't help but smile at his words. "Your job, huh?" you tease, feeling the tension in the air starting to dissipate.

Lando chuckles, his fingers gently tracing patterns on your waist. "Among other things," he replies with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

Before you give yourself the opportunity to overthink, you lean in and press a soft kiss to Lando’s lips – it’s only a peck, a hesitant one at that, but not completely uncharted territory when you think about it. The two of you have shared kisses before, at Christmas or New Year’s at midnight, but somehow this simple peck feels different than any of those other occasions. Lando doesn’t rush you. He’s a patient man after all, and he knows that the feelings he has for you are reciprocated by the feelings you have for him. So when you look him with widened eyes, he gives you a soft smile and it does wonders to calm your nerves. It doesn’t take you long to press your lips against his once again, but this time the kiss is deeper, more passionate, and filled with the unspoken words that have lingered between you for too long.

It starts off with another peck, but this time you take the initiative to deepen the kiss, and the appreciative groan that leaves Lando’s lips makes you feel butterflies in your stomach. His hands move from your waist to the small of your back, pulling you closer to him, while yours tangle in his hair, revelling in the softness of his curls – and the fact that all of this feels almost familiar in some kind of a way. He’s not shy as he lets his tongue explore your mouth, in fact, he encourages you to do the same. It’s a messy kiss filled with colliding tongues and mixed breaths, and the hands that were on your waist one moment are now on your hips, encouraging their slow movement against his groin. It’s not a subtle build-up for any of you, either. It a matter of seconds, you find yourself dry-humping your childhood best friend in his hotel room, and in a couple more, both of you are whimpering into the kiss.

You’re both out of breath and breathing deeply as you rest your forehead against Lando’s. Thankfully, his hands continue to guide your hips as their movement get more and more erratic, and you him groan out, “Slow down, baby.”

You let out an objective whimper in return, whispering out a weak, “No.”

“No?” Lando repeats, his breath hitting your exposed neck in a light chuckle, “Do you want to come?”

“Uh-huh,” you mumble, letting your hands grab handfuls of his hair, “but you can’t fuck me.”

The whine that comes from your lips can only be described as bratty when Lando forces your hips to cease their movements, raising an eyebrow at you as he grumbles, “Excuse me?”

“You can’t fuck me, Lando.” You mumble, trying to move your hips again, but his hold is too powerful against your attempts. “At least not tonight.”

“And why is that, Tink?” He takes in your wide eyes and shuddering breath in, thinking he’d done something wrong, something you didn’t like. “You want to come, no?” He thinks at that moment, as you give him a nod with that dreamy and almost innocent look on your face, he could die and he’d be happy with where his life has led him, but he gives you a confused look, “Then what is the problem?”

“Um, you have a race tomorrow,” you explain as your fingers gently slide down to meet at the nape of his neck, “I don’t want to jinx anything.”

As a respond to your words, Lando gives you a look of disbelief, “You don’t want to jinx me having a good race,” he mumbles.

You give him another nod, “Are you mad at me?”

 “Am I mad at you?” Lando repeats the question, and he flips the two of you over in a smooth motion so that you're lying on the bed with him hovering above you, his eyes locked onto yours. “Answer the question for me, will you?”

You take a moment to catch your breath, your heart racing as you meet his intense gaze. “No,” you reply softly, your fingers tracing the outline of his jaw. “Why would you be mad at me?”

Lando's lips curve into a playful smile as he leans in, his breath warm against your skin. “See?” he murmurs, his lips brushing against yours, “Good girl.” As he moves down your body, you let out a protesting sound, but he quickly shushes you as he positions himself between your legs. “I’m going to make you come, and you’re not talking to Micheal Italiano ever again.” He taps the side of your hips to signal you to raise them up as he carefully takes off your underwear and then murmurs to himself, “Pretty girl, too.”

With a blush which is quickly spreading onto your cheeks and neck, you raise yourself onto your elbows as you watch him give you the do-over. “Lando,” you plead.

“Oh baby, you're wet,” he teases, “don’t worry, though, I’ll help you with that.” He also gives you a look while grabbing both of your thighs, “And the shirt fucking stays on.”

After the events of the previous night with Lando working wonders between your legs for the remainder of the night, he honestly didn’t expect to start the morning with you returning the favour. Alas there you were, between his legs, with sleepy eyes and an innocent smile as if you hadn’t just given him the best blowjob of his life. And as the two of you make your way along the paddock, he wishes he was back in his hotel room with you in his arms. You try your best to distract him from overthinking everything and costing himself the race, and Lando is aware of what you’re trying to do – though that doesn’t mean you succeed completely.

You can tell by the small frown of eyebrows that he is lost inside his head, probably double guessing every aspect of the strategy his team debriefed him about this morning. With a deep inhale, you give his hand a small squeeze, halting your movements to stop him alongside you. “Hey,” you call out gently, “you’re going to be amazing out there, okay? You have nothing to worry about.”

“I know, it’s just the pressure is getting to me.” You watch him sigh, closing his eyes for a moment to regroup his thoughts, “I’ll be fine before I go in the car, I promise.”

You nod, giving him an encouraging smile, “I know you will. After all, you feel the–”

“Need for speed.” He completes the sentence without thinking, which makes the two of share a short laughter. “Thanks, Tink.”

“You’re welcome,” lifting yourself up on your tiptoes, you give him a soft peck on his lips, “I’ll watch the race with your dad, okay?” You chuckle at his reaction when he lets out a prolonged groan, “What?”

“He’s going to make fun of us, big time.” He says, rolling his eyes.

“Go,” you say in between laughter, “don’t be late and for the love of God, be careful!”

Lando chuckles at your playful warning, giving you a mock salute. “Yes, ma'am!”

It doesn’t take long for you to find Adam, who gives you a knowing look, in the sea of spectators in the McLaren garage. And as the race begins, you and Adam stand side by side, your eyes fixed on the track where the race is unfolding. The first four laps as the Lando leads the race makes your heart beat so hard, you can practically feel the excitement coursing through your veins. Each turn and straightaway that Lando navigates flawlessly adds to the anticipation building in the air. Even when he returns to his original position, you’re on the edge, praying to whatever deity up there for him to finish this race without and incident. You’ve told him million times before that you don’t get F1 at all, you’ve always thought the adrenaline linked with the sport to be a negative feeling – too heavy, too much and definitely not something you want to feel every weekend. But in the moment that Lando passes the finishing line P2, you realise why people are so obsessed with this sport. Because when Lando crosses the finish line, you find yourself cheering as loudly as anyone else. The rush of emotions, once alien to you, now feels like a shared celebration of human achievement and dedication.

Lando is all smiles when he finally finds his way back to you, and he’s giving you a kiss the moment he has you back in his arms; celebrating with the team in the paddock was a whirlwind of emotions. As he wraps his arms around you and pulls you close, his big smile is infectious.

So you’re honestly confused when he starts dragging you through the hallways of the club you went to for his celebrations with the rest of the team. The beat of the music playing back in the dancefloor echoes in the hallway as he leads you down the hall. The lights, the laughter, and the energy of the celebrations in the main area of the club are still audible, but you can only hear the muffled sounds of the celebration being held for him. “Lando,” in hopes of finally getting some answers, you say his name for the umpteenth time, but he just looks at you with furrowed eyebrows, “what’s wrong?”

He's silent as he wraps his arms around your waist and before you can repeat your question he buries his head in the crook of your neck. While you’re thinking about what could’ve caused his sudden need to be alone with you, he’s very glad that you’ve opted to wear sneakers tonight instead of heels.

“Baby,” you murmur, your fingers running through his curls in an attempt to bribe him, “tell me what’s wrong.”

“Nothing is wrong.” His voice is muffled by your skin and you can feel the breath he exhales on your shoulder.

You purse your lips and give him a few moments for him to break on his own, but when he doesn’t, you sigh softly. “Something is wrong.”

He raises his head momentarily to give you an unamused look, then bury his head back into your neck, “I saw you and Oscar.”

“Yeah, we were talking about the race.” Your confirmation leaves you confused as he lets out a scoff, and you find yourself warily asking, “Is there something wrong with that?”

You hear him scoff again and then, “Well I didn’t particularly like it.”

You gently push him off of you as you try to look past his confused expression and pouted lips, “You didn’t like me talking to your teammate… about your race.”

“Well when you put it like that–”

“Lando he is two years younger than us, and he has a girlfriend you do realise that, don’t you?” Your hands rest on either side of your body on your hips as you give him a small grin, “You were jealous, weren’t you?”

His eyes widen as he nods, “Well yeah, Tink, I think that one was very much obvious when I dragged you here.”

“I mean,” you drawl, “it was kind of cute, you know?”

As his eyes narrow, Lando walks you backwards until you’re pressed up against the wall. “Well I am a cute person.”

“Oh yeah,” you let out a giggle, “the cutest.” Your fingers toy with the buttons of his shirt while you look up at him to meet his eyes, “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“That we should probably get back to the party?” He mumbles, his eyes drifting as he looks around the hall.

You fist the collar of his shirt as you raise yourself up on your tiptoes, your voice lowering down for only him to hear even if it’s a deserted hallway, “You don’t have a race tomorrow.”

His eyes come back down to meet yours, “Well yes, it’s Mond– oh,” it takes a moment for him to realise what you’ve meant, and you’re thrown over his shoulder in an instant.

“Wha– Lando put me down!” You shriek, “What are you doing?”

His voice is playful as he starts walking towards the back door of the club, “We are not leaving that hotel room for a few days.”  

It doesn’t take long for you to start laughing, “You’re an idiot.”

“Maybe,” he shrugs the opposite shoulder, “but I’m your idiot.”

The sincerity in his words catches you off guard, but you can’t help the small smile forming on your lips as you murmur, “Yeah, yeah you are.”

[agoodfictitle-shadowban]

Sweet Summer | Pt. 2

Wanda Maximoff x f!Reader

Summary: The Xavier Institude is being renovated for the summer. With nowhere else to go, your best friends Billy and Tommy offer you to stay with them and their mom. But what happens when feelings start to spark between the two of you?

Word Count: 6.3k

Warnings: Underage Drinking, Smut (Minors do not interact), Age Gap (20yo reader, 37yo Wanda)

Tags: mutant!Reader (shadow manipulation), different timeline, everyone is alive (except Pietro, sorry Pietro), no Sokovia Accords, no Thanos, Wanda was young when she joined the Avengers, retired Natasha, top!Reader, bottom!Wanda, but they switch a bit, Vision is a bit of an asshole, divorced!Wanda, mainly cutesy, bit of angst tho

A/n: i'm bad at smut but i hope you still enjoy it

"What was I thinking?" Wanda bemoaned, face in her hands. She was sitting in the living room of her best friend Natasha, complaining to her a few days later. The retired redhead was listening with a neutral expression, drinking her morning coffee. "She's Billy and Tommy's best friend! She's twenty!"

Natasha sipped on her coffee some more. "Truly I wonder," she deadpanned.

"You're not helping!" Wanda was at the edge of a breakdown after what happened, and disappeared to work the past few days in order to avoid you. But no matter what she did, her thoughts brought her back to you, to your smile, your voice, your kind words. She wanted to know more about you, in every way, her body mesmerized by your presence and her mind enthralled by your words.

"I know, but I doubt there is much I could do to help," she said patiently. She put down her cup of coffee and rested her hands on the tabletop flatly. "From what you tell me, you really like her. Which isn't a crime as far as I'm concerned."

"But what about–"

"Doesn't really matter, does it? You deserve happiness, and your boys would agree. So what if it's with Y/n?"

"It would feel wrong." She finally dared to look in her friend's eyes. There was no judgment there, but it was still hard to do.

"Or really right, considering how attracted to her you are. Do you want my honest opinion?"

"Go ahead," she said with suspicion in her eyes.

"I think you're afraid because you were her age when you started dating Vision, so you think it's gonna end the same way. With her thinking it was all a mistake, and you sad and lonely. Well, more than you are today."

"Geez, thanks Natasha," she said with as much sarcasm she could manage.

"Let me finish," she ordered and Wanda reluctantly complied. "Your fear is understandable, but also stupid. She's not you, and you're not Vision. And if you have a shot at happiness, you should take it."

Wanda didn't know what to say at this point. Luckily, Maria entered the apartment after her morning run. She kissed Natasha and the conversation changed direction as Wanda wanted to keep her relation to you a secret for now. But the words from her best friend kept coming back to her throughout the day.

*

The night of the party finally arrived, and with it the pressure to find a proper attire. You had figured out what you wanted to wear, but you also wanted a jacket to go with it. Sadly you were rather limited, and you had to go take a shower before one of the twins stole the washroom from you to finish prepping. When you came back out, clothes already on, there was a bag on your bed with a piece of paper. It read "Thank you for the discussion the other night". Inside the bag was the leather jacket from the store you went to the other day. You were speechless, mouth hanging open. Wanda had been avoiding you the past few days so you absolutely didn't expect anything from her, trying to move on from whatever feelings you had, but this… How she knew about it, you had no idea, but you weren't complaining.

You immediately tried it on, looking at yourself in the mirror. It fit perfectly. You turned around to peek at the back and jumped like a scared cat when you saw Wanda standing in the doorway, almost toppling over the mirror. She helped keep you standing with her powers and slowly released you.

"I didn't mean to scare you. Are you alright?" She asked with concern in her voice. She looked incredible at this instant, as she always did, with her doe eyes focused on you. She was wearing dark gray sweatpants, and a signature red hoodie with her hair in a low, kind of messy, ponytail.

"Yeah, I think so." You looked yourself over and then up at her. "Thank you. For catching me. And for the jacket."

"I saw the way you looked at it in the store," she said with a small, conniving smile. Then she looked away, playing with the hem of her sleeves and biting her lower lip as if looking for some courage. "Could we maybe talk?"

"I…" Should you? Probably not, but at the same time, your heart wanted nothing more than to talk to her. You pinched your lips. No. No matter how good she looked, and how mesmerizing her shyness was, it was a bad idea. But you had to let her down gently. "Maybe we–"

"Y/n! Are you ready?" A very excited Tommy appeared behind his mom in a blur, and you let out a sigh. The young man had been like that the whole day, starting in the late morning. "Billy is waiting on us."

Wanda hid her disappointment, but not enough for you to miss it. You quickly redirected your attention to your friend and grabbed whatever was needed. "I'm ready."

At least it would give you some time to think of something to tell Wanda. You followed Tommy who gave a hug to the witch and left to get to the car. Before you disappeared through the door, you couldn't help but get one more look at her.

The party was what you'd expect it would be. There was a ton of alcohol, some games going on, loud music, and half the people were enjoying the pool or talking in groups. The first thing you did with the twins was grab some drinks - alcohol for you and Tommy, soft for Billy who was driving you back - and join a group. Within the group there were some people you knew and some you didn't but it quickly dissolved into smaller groups. You ended up talking with a newly met Kate Bishop and Yelena Belova, who were both living in New York and came here to visit family. Kate was actually going to join Columbia this year just like you - except she was a few years ahead of you. You got along really well as you exchanged more. You ended up talking about what majors and minors you were going to attend, before Yelena let out a "Boriiiiing" and you changed the subject to something else. It quickly devolved into a knife throwing contest between the three of you that Yelena won.

Everything was going swimmingly - you played Kate in a beer pong game that you lost, enjoyed some time in the pool with her and some other people. But despite the fun, you couldn't help but think of Wanda. You would see her in a smile, or in the green of a leaf, in the inflection of a word, the smell of someone, the warmth from the alcohol, the curve of a waist, and so many more places. It was a curse, one you rried to forget with alcohol.

As for the twins, Tommy at this point was nowhere to be found, which meant he probably was with a girl, and Billy was playing video games with some people who were more relaxed now that it was starting to be late. 

As you were drying on the side of the pool, head buzzing nicely with intoxication, you eavesdropped on a nearby conversation.

"Now, see, Enhanced Individuals totally need to be controlled in some way. By the governments or something," a girl said, and you couldn't help but roll your eyes at that.

"What are you on about?" Someone asked. "They might be freaks but they're no more dangerous than someone with a rifle."

"No, no, no! Like, think about it, they're the only ones who can become super-villains, so if we can track them or something, they can't be dangerous anymore."

Holding your drink in one hand, you stood up and splashed it in the face of the girl and his friend. She screamed bloody murder, and he just looked flabbergasted.

"Assholes," you spat.

"What is wrong with you?!" The guy finally asked while everyone was watching before finally going back to partying. You put back your clothes on; you didn't feel like partying anymore. 

"Are you okay?" Kate asked as you stumbled because of the alcohol. "Hey, easy there. Let me help you."

"I want to go home," you mumbled with darkened eyes.

"Okay, let's find your friends." You shook your head at that and took a few steps forward.

"No, they're having fun. I can like… walk home or something."

"Walk ho– okay, no, you're definitely too drunk for that. I'll drive you, let me just get my stuff while you let your friends know."

You didn't really have time to protest. Looking around, you decided to simply do what she told you and you went to find Billy, knowing Tommy was likely busy. Your knees hit the couch where he was sitting and you got his attention.

"Hey man, I'm going home. Kate is driving me."

"Are you okay?" He frowned with concern in his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I'll just see you tomorrow." You gave him a pat on the shoulder and he agreed to let you go. You went back to Kate who had put on a light jacket. You put your own on quickly, before you followed Kate to her car.

During the time it took to arrive back at the house, the silence in the car had stretched out. You were still drunk and yet you still felt uncomfortable. At least there was some music to help with the lack of conversation and how fidgety Kate was. Finally, when you arrived, she pulled in front of the pathway leading up to the house.

"You have my number, if you need anything…" she started.

"I'll text you," you finished. You offered her a smile and just as you were about to leave the car, she leaned in and kissed you briefly. Usually, you would have jumped on the occasion. Kate was a beautiful and clever woman. But this wasn't usually. So you didn't return it, didn't even react to it really, just looked blankly at her, and it seemed to be enough to get a message across.

"Oh, wow. I'm sorry, I thought, I don't know–"

"Don't. Let's just forget about it," you told her mercifully, finally exiting the car.

You were quick to make your way back to the door, stumbling a little on the way, and when you finally pushed it, you were confronted with a waiting Wanda. She was still wearing the same clothes as earlier, but this time her jaw was locked, her brow knitted on her forehead, and she had her arms crossed. The apparent hostility confused you and you slowly closed the door behind you, the faint sound of Kate's departing car the only noise in the house. You could hear a pin drop when that was gone.

"You had fun I see," she attacked first, leaving you eager to defend yourself, the alcohol leaving you susceptible to your emotions

"Yes, clearly, that's why I'm back early," you said sarcastically. There was something different about her right now, in the way she acted, the way she looked at you. She retreated her head in her shoulders, as if she was getting ready to be hit with something.

"Well, why are you here early?" Her eyes were sharp, but yours were just as much despite the alcohol in your veins. What happened for her to act like that suddenly? Then it hit you. You quickly regretted your returned aggressivity when it dawned on you. She was hurt. Her bravado was just a way to hide it. You had to find a way to diffuse the situation, but your idle mind had trouble processing everything.

"There was a bunch of assholes and just… listen, it doesn't really matter." She soften slightly at that, but she was still in her defensive position. You took a step towards her and she took a step back.

"It matters to me. What you do, how you feel, who you kiss… It all matters to me," she confessed, suddenly avoiding your gaze. "So if you've just been playing around, I need to know." And that's when you put the puzzle together. She must have seen Kate kiss you. Must have come to the window when she heard the car and seen everything without any context or clues about how you felt. You ran your hand through your hair.

"Wanda, I…" You took the time to look at her. Truly look at her. She was so vulnerable right now, you felt like you had her in the palm of your hand. You knew you technically had no reason to justify yourself, but your gut were turning at the idea of leaving her in this state.

"You don't need to say anything, you made it pretty clear how you felt," she marched on, still looking away, as you didn't know what to say. Your heart revolted at the idea that she could even think you didn't like her. You took a step forward. "You must be weirded out." Another step. Your mind was reeling, reminding you why this was such a bad idea, but you could barely hear it over the sounds of the blood hammering away in your ears. "I'd understand if–"

You reached for her face with both hands and kissed her. It was a short lived rush, but it felt so right. It completely derailed Wanda's train of thought, even now that the kiss was over, and for a second she tried to reattach the wagons.

"If… I'd understand…" She tilted her head to the side and tried to read you without going into your thoughts, her brows furrowing. "What am I understanding?"

You chuckled, and she joined, both of you leaning forward to join your foreheads. Slowly, your thumb rubbed her rosy cheek.

"You're understanding that I like you, a lot."

Wanda bit her lip, hesitation on her face. She was clearly still thinking about what happened in the car. And if she needed to ask about it, you certainly knew how to appease her fears.

"What about the girl in the car?" She finally bit the bullet and asked, her hands finding your shoulders to play with your jacket nervously.

"It was all her, I never wanted that kiss. But I sure want this one," and you kissed her lips once again, briefly, "and this one," and one more. You took your time for this one, tasting her cherry lips against yours. It already felt amazing, but feeling her reciprocate the kiss made it heavenly. Tentatively, you bit her lower lip and pressed the tip of your tongue against it in a clear message to ask for more. She opened the way and you slipped your tongue against hers, starting to play alongside her as the warmth of the kiss traveled down your body to your core. Slowly, the kiss got more heated, your breath unraveling and your heart beating faster and faster. At this point you were certain she was able to feel it against her palms. You pushed her against the wall and moved one hand to her waist to bring her closer to you, your pinky playing with the hem of her hoodie. The heat was unraveling you and you wanted nothing more than to follow it but gently Wanda interrupted the kiss. Her pupils were wide open and traced the contours of your face and of your lips before they finally focused on your eyes.

"Wait, wait. We're in the middle of the hallway, we can't just do that here." Well, you could, but it certainly would be risky. You smirked.

"Averse to a little adventure?" You teased her. She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, leaving the embrace of yours. You noticed how red she was right before she turned her back on you. When she finally looked at you again only her cheeks remained pink.

"Averse to having my sons walk in on me with their best friend." You pursed your lips. Of course she had a point, and you nodded. You closed the small distance between you too and took her hands in yours.

"Okay. Why don't we take this somewhere more private then?" You offered her a grin, then moved your eyebrows up and down. It managed to make her laugh, but she shook her head.

"As tempting as it is, it's too risky right now."

As if to prove her right, you heard a car pulling in the driveway. You pouted, but still agreed with her. You already broke your own words by kissing Wanda, there was no need for Tommy and Billy to find out about it.

"Alright but we're gonna have to make it up at some point," you negotiated and she gave you a shy smile. You vaguely wondered when was the last time Wanda actually got to be intimate and if that was part of why she interrupted the upcoming activity.

She took a step back when the twins came through the door and you looked at them. You immediately noticed Tommy's bruised hand and you frowned.

"What did you do?" You asked, taking a closer look at it while Wanda's eyes opened big and she took his hand in her to examine it.

"Might have punched some assholes," he admitted with a proud grin. "When I came back downstairs I heard what happened and why you left, and that guy was mouthing off about you, so I gave him a lesson."

"You didn't have to…" you started, pinching the bridge of your nose.

Wanda brought him to the kitchen where she kept a first aid kit, everyone trailing behind. She grabbed the instant cold pack and twisted it so it would start cooling, then she applied it on his fist after putting it in a towel.

"Thanks mom," he said, still smiling. She frowned and assumed her mom posture, putting her hands on her hips.

"Don't thank me, you're still grounded for a week."

Tommy cringed at that, but he didn't protest, moving to a dining room chair to sit down.

"Alright, now that this is resolved, I'm going to bed," Billy yawned.

"You're abandoning me like that?" A very dramatic Tommy asked.

"Yeah, cause I told you not to fight this guy, and I'm tired. Plus you have mom and Y/n taking care of you, you'll be fine."

Billy left, and you sat next to Tommy. He was lucky nothing was broken, and even luckier he only got grounded by his mom. You bumped shoulders with him.

"Next time, remember I can defend myself," you told him.

"Is that how people say thank you now?" He rolled his eyes and you laughed lightly. You knew you shouldn't encourage him, but he did deserve it.

"Thank you."

He beamed at you, just as Wanda was walking back in. She hugged her son sideways and kissed the top of his head.

"Time for you to go to bed," she ordered and without much complaints the young man gave a kiss on the cheek of his mother and went upstairs. The witch sat down where her son had been moments ago and leaned against you, resting her head on your shoulder. You mimicked her and rested your head on top of hers, your hand finding hers to take.

"What a day," you expressed with a sigh.

"What a day," she returned to you. "But mostly a good one, I hope?"

You grinned and leaned down to give her a kiss. "A great one." You kissed her some more, lingering on the taste of her lips, on your breath mingling together, and on her body pressed against yours.

"We should also get some sleep," she ended up murmuring to you after a few minutes. For the first time since you arrived home, you finally felt the weight of the day on you.

"But what if I want to enjoy your company longer?"

She rolled her eyes but her sweet smile contradicted the faux exasperation. It made you laugh silently.

"I'll still be there tomorrow. Now come on, off to bed we go."

With that, she stood up and helped you do the same, an occasion you took to steal another few kisses before she came back to her senses and led you up the stairs. You exchanged some more kisses in front of her bedroom as discreetly as possible before you finally said your goodbyes for the night.

*

The next two weeks were more of the same. With Tommy and Billy always around, you barely had any time alone with Wanda. You would sneak around at night, enjoying the balcony or one or the other's bedroom to make out. It felt like you were back at the Institute where you had to be discreet with your various girlfriends to not get caught by the teachers, which felt weird to do behind the backs of the twins who had often helped you at the time - the same way you would help them sneak around. The situation was rather complicated because of that, but you made do, and if it meant being able to be with Wanda, you would take it. Even if you knew the situation was unsustainable in the long term. For now you were enjoying reading on the lounge chair for your upcoming university year. Billy was doing the same thing next to you, and Tommy was swimming in the pool so fast that you were surprised he didn't hit his head on something. More surprising, you could hear Wanda singing from the kitchen - she was cooking and refused any help despite you trying to offer it.

"Mom seems really happy lately," Billy commented offhandedly, getting his brother's attention in the process.

"Yeah," he breathed loudly as he stopped swimming, "it's kind of creepy."

Billy snorted at that and you shook your head in amusement. He put his book back and took his phone which was vibrating in his hand.

"I don't know, I like her being happy. Dad is calling, give me a second."

"Okay momma's boy. Tell him I say hi." Tommy disappeared back in the water, and you put your nose back into your book, trying not to spy on the conversation.

Quickly, Billy disappeared inside. You frowned a bit and wondered what was happening. An answer came five minutes later when he came back and sat down on the edge of the lounge chair to look at you guiltily.

"I'm sorry Y/n, my dad won't be able to take you with us. Apparently he wants us to meet his new girlfriend's kids and there won't be enough space."

"Oh," you blinked a few times, unsure of what to say right now.

"Mom says you'll talk together about what you want to do for that month." He put his hand on your shoulder. You processed the information. What were you supposed to do? All that you knew was that there was no more singing coming from the kitchen.

Later that evening, after you had all enjoyed a delicious fresh dish prepared by Wanda, you found her on the balcony. You approached her from behind and put your hands on the railing on each side of her. Delicatly, you kissed her shoulder, then her cheek, and she leaned right against you. You embraced her and swayed a few times before you settled.

"I hate when Vision springs things like this on me." Her hands settled on your arms. "It's only two days until his turn with Tommy and Billy and he couldn't bother informing me before? What if I had something already organized, a trip, or a mission? Then I would have been in a conundrum."

"I don't have to stay here you know?" You wouldn't be happy about it but you could. She turned around, a frown on her face.

"That's not what I meant, detka. I'm annoyed at his selfishness, but also… I'm happy at the idea of the both of us having alone time."

She kissed you briefly and you couldn't help a smile. You felt better upon hearing her saying she wanted you there.

"So, does that mean I'm staying?" You still asked to make sure.

"If you want to," she confirmed with a smile of her own. You caressed her cheek and placed some hair on the side of her face. The setting sun was hitting her and illuminating her features, creating a halo around her with the way her hair caught the rays on its strands, and a fire in your heart from the green of her eyes so lovingly looking at you.

"I want to," you answered with no doubt.

She jumped at you, her arms around your neck, and you spinned together before you put her down with a laugh. The upcoming month promised to be interesting.

*

"Are you sure you don't want us to stay?" Tommy asked with his sunglasses on his head. He had told you multiple times already that he was ready to protest his dad's decision by staying with you for the month to come, and you knew Billy would follow along with that decision. "We don't want to leave you alone."

"Yes, just enjoy your time with your dad. I'll be okay here. And I'm not alone, Wanda is here." You knew they wouldn't understand why you were unbothered by being with Wanda alone, and you somehow felt bad about it too. Keeping a secret from your best friends was hard but you knew it was better that way for now.

"Okay, but if you change your mind, we can always come back."

"Thank you, I appreciate it. Now go, your dad is waiting."

Tommy nodded and his sunglasses fell on his nose. He adjusted them, and with a side hug from him and Billy, you said your goodbyes, Wanda getting hugs from the both of them too. It was only for a month, but you knew you were going to miss them. Though for now, you had other things in mind.

"What do you want to do now?" You asked with a smirk once Vision's car was gone. Wanda put her hands on your shoulders, amused, and pushed you into the living room.

"Well, now I can do whatever I want," she seductively suggested as she kissed your jawline, going up to your ear. A shiver ran down your spine when you felt her breath. "So why don't we… take a trip?"

You tilted your head in order to be able to look at her. She smirked at first, then tried to look innocent.

"A trip where?" You asked, your curiosity piqued, but also aware that you had no money to go anywhere, and no passport. "Cause it'll have to be to the gas station."

"I was thinking more… Paris?" She suggested as she bit her lip. The idea of going on a trip with her was incredibly tempting. Waking up together, visiting museums, going to restaurants, walking at night around the city. It would be a dream come true. But once again… "I'd pay for everything."

Oh. That would… wait, no, still no passport. And you couldn't in good conscience let her pay for everything.

"I can't let you do that."

"Of course you can. You'll just have to invite me on a trip when you're accomplished with your own money." She shrugs like it was nothing, not talking about the fact you wouldn't be able to pay for anything for a few years at least. So you looked for another excuse, which presented itself.

"I don't have a passport," you said with disappointment.

"Don't worry about it, I can get one for you by tomorrow." She smiled tenderly and put her hand on your cheek while you thought about it. You kissed her palm and nodded in the end.

"Okay, let's do this."

Looked like you were going to Paris.

*

The same day at night, while you were watching a movie cuddled up together, you heard a knock on the door. Wanda had told you that your passport would be ready by tomorrow, but you didn't expect someone to actually show up at your door the very same night. You put your arm away from her shoulders so she could stand up, and you followed her curiously to the door. You expected a random agent or someone like that to bring it to you, but when she opened the door your eyebrows went up on your forehead.

"Nat!" Wanda exclaimed, visibly as surprised as you were. The redhead showed the passport to the both of you by holding it up in her hand. "I didn't expect you to bring it in person."

"What can I say, I wanted to meet your new girlfriend."

The both of you immediately blushed; you never really talked about relationship status, so having it qualified like that was new territory for you. You and Wanda exchanged a look and Natasha immediately caught on to it. She raised a very amused eyebrow and took a step inside the house. She held out the passport to you and you took it out of reflex.

"So you're Y/n, hm? You're less impressive than I imagined. Maybe we should train together someday."

"Please don't," Wanda said as she started to push Natasha out of the house. When she was out and the door was closed, you finally blinked yourself back to life.

"Thank you for the passport," you muttered to yourself before you turned to Wanda, confusion on your features. "What was that?"

The witch pinched her lips. "That was my best friend, who has been very bored since she retired."

There was a beat of silence while you processed all that just happened. In the end, there was only one thing that really mattered to you after all that. You grabbed Wanda's hand and brought it to your lips, looking at her above it.

"Sooo, are we girlfriends?" You asked with a small smirk but a blush on your cheeks nonetheless.

"Yes. Yes we are," she confirmed with a smile and a blush of her own. You kissed her hand and took her in your arms to kiss her lips this time.

"Sounds perfect." She kissed you again and you took the time to enjoy it. 

You went back to the movie, and then you prepared yourself for bed. You went for a short and some t-shirt before you stopped in front of the open door to Wanda's room to say goodnight. You had never taken the time to really look inside out of respect for her, but you couldn't help yourself this time. There were some crystals and books on the shelves, a guitar on the wall, a few masquerade masks above the bed, and pictures of her family here and there. She was in front of a massive but low bed with dark purple bed sheets, wearing something similar to you, with her hair flowing around her pretty face.

"I came to say good night," you said, getting her attention. She turned around and your heart skipped a beat seeing her like that. You wanted to stay with her longer, but you had a big day tomorrow of preparing and going to the airport, and you never shared a room so far. You didn't want to overstep.

"You can come in," she offered and you took it, walking one step forward inside the room. It smelled like her and you immediately felt like she was all around you, relaxing your shoulders when her eyes fell on yours. A small, timid smile graced her lips when she approached you, grabbed your shirt and gave you a chaste kiss. "Stay for the night?"

The offer took you by surprise. You never slept in the same bed before, mainly because it was too dangerous with the boys under the same roof, but also in respect to her boundaries. You also didn't want to look desperate by asking.

You nodded, mouth agape at her proposition.

"Gladly," you finally answered and she clinged onto you. You quickly let your arms fall into place around her. After what felt like an ideal forever, you both went under the covers of the bed, staying far apart at first until you decided to take her hand and bring her closer to you.

"It's been a long time since I had anyone in my bed," she confided in you. You hummed, letting her go where she needed with her train of thought. "I… I've never been with a woman. I've always known I was bi, but I never had the opportunity. I hope you're not disappointed."

"Why would I be disappointed?" You asked in confusion, and she shrugged, not daring to look you in the eyes. You gently grabbed her chin and had her look at you. "For me, you're perfect, Wanda."

The emotions in her eyes were giving them a glint, and a few tears rolled down her cheeks. You rubbed the tears away with an understanding smile, and kissed her forehead before she kissed your lips hungrily. She straddled you with no warning, igniting something in you, making you grab her hips to stabilize her against you long enough to reverse your positions. Without any thoughts, you grind your hips against her core and a moan escaped her. It immediately made you realize what you were doing and you broke the ongoing kiss.

"I'm sorry, I–"

"No, it's okay," she told you, one hand finding purchase behind your neck. "Don't stop now."

Your mouth dried, your heart rate went straight to heaven, and a fire spread inside of you like wildfire. And so you did what you were told.

Your kiss got deep and fierce, leaving your lips bruised, and you pushed against her again, feeling how warm the inside of her legs was. She moaned in your mouth, and that made you smile. You took the opportunity to kiss her jawline and her neck, feeling her pulse against your lips before you traced a line with your tongue. It made her all breathy, even more so when your teeth scraped her skin and finally settled on her pulse point where you started to mark her.

Meanwhile one of your hands moved to her stomach under her shirt, tracing up her abdomen and tracing down, going around her navel, before going up again. Then you pushed her up towards you to start taking off her shirt, an effort that didn't go ignored when she helped you take it off. Once done, you took the time to admire her; her shoulders were slender, giving way to her collarbones, then her round breast with their perky, pink nipples, and her abdomen which bore the marks of motherhood.

"Yours now," she breathed heavily, pushing you upright to take off your shirt. He hand steadied when she started to reveal your body and with it the scars of your mistreatment. They were faded and hardly visible if you didn't know what to look for from afar, so it was the first time she noticed them. With your shirt out of the way, you wanted to get back to worshiping her body, but you waited for her as she traced the lighter scars on your skin. It gave you goosebumps. But slowly you took her hand, and gave her a reassuring smile.

"It's nothing," you whispered before kissing her hungrily. The passion quickly returned and it was like there had been no interruption.

You kissed her collarbone, and quickly found your way to her right breast. Her nipple was just waiting for you, all hard and tender, and you took it in your mouth to play with it. Her moans encouraged you to slip your hand on top of her crotch. Even through her pajama shorts you were able to feel how wet she was. You massaged her through the fabric, making her back arch in search for more friction. You were quick to give it to her after your hand went under her shorts, touching her hairs and flesh, cupping her to give her more purchase against your hand. While doing this, you dipped two fingers between her folds to coat them in her wetness, playing with her entrance at the same time. You moved your thumb over her clit and formed small circles over the bundle of nerves. The answer was immediate, her hands dug into your hair and gripped them strongly. She brought you back up for a hungry kiss and you happily kissed back. Her hands moved from your hair to your back, just as you pressed two fingers inside her, and the pain of her fingernails digging into your skin was the best reward you could wish for.

"God, you're so wet," you said against her lips, not moving inside of her.

"Pl-please…" she pleaded. You hummed, a small smirk on your lips to see her all pretty like that, begging for you, her cheeks red from the pleasure. "More… please."

You gave her a kiss and started moving your fingers inside of her. Her moans were a litany, a song you could listen to for hours on end. You went faster, but still took your time, slowing down from time to time to have her plead for more only to pick up the pace again and add a finger. She finally came, gushing on your hand and you slowed down for good.

"That… that felt good," she said, still breathing hard, and there was a spark in your eyes.

"Felt? Who said it was over?"

And before she had the chance to say anything, your face was between her legs and she was moaning again.

You pleasured her multiple times, until she tapped out for good on her fifth orgasm. Your face was damp with her fluids and your fingers had wrinkled, but it felt good to pleasure her so much. Despite how tired she was after all that, she insisted on taking care of you too. She explored your body with the same reverence you did hers, and you guided her to your own orgasm.

Bone tired, you took a quick shower together before going back to bed naked and falling asleep in each other's arms.

[chimcess]

Waterlog || pjm (1)

Pairing: Jimin x Reader Other tags: Olympic Swimmer!Jimin, Ex Olympic Swimmer! Reader, Swim Coach!Reader Genre: Strangers to Friends to Lovers!AU, Coach!AU, Swimming!AU, Age Gap!AU, HEAVY Angst, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, fluff, eventual smut, I'm so soft for these two it's crazy. Word Count: 17.4k+ Synopsis: After a car accident ends her athletic career, Y/N has slowly started rebuilding her life again as a high school swim coach. That’s until she gets a request from an old friend and finds herself back in the spotlight as the new coach of Olympic swimmer, Park Jimin. Warnings: discussions of significant death (does not happen in story), talks of a bad car accident, talks of drunk driving (please drinking responsibly), more than likely wrong swimming terms and poor understanding of how the Olympics actually works (I did so much research, pls be nice to me lol), strong language, lots of mental health discussions, reader has mommy and daddy issues, Older reader, Jimin is a complete sweetie, the tamest chapter of them all A/N: Well, well, well, look who came back. I first wrote Waterlog back in 2021, and while I enjoy the premise, I hate the finished product. I wanted to go back and edit/fix what I originally had, but when I tried it became so different, I was better off rewriting the entire thing. I hope you guys like this mini-series. If you would like to read the original go to my blog archive. Thank you for reading!

masterlist || next || playlist

Staring at the pool, I managed to calm myself with relative ease. Jin had been right, physical therapy had made things easier. The water glistened prettily in the lights, and I waited with bated breath for my trainer to come in. 

Emery was a sweet guy, pretty with a lip ring and tattoos, but with a surprising amount of shyness it was laughable. His softness was offset by his powerful muscles, and I enjoyed his never-ending sense of humor. Unlike Dr.Maddox, Emery treated me like I was a normal person. Not an Olympian who almost lost her leg in an accident, or the woman whose fiancé died. I was just Y/N, and it was a relief to be around him.

Running my fingers along the scars on my leg, I mindlessly drew patterns around them in the silence. It was not normal for Emery to take this long, but his assistant had said he was running behind due to another patient, so I was unbothered. I had planned my entire day around this, so I was in no rush.

Finally, the door swung open revealing a disheveled Emery. Breathing heavier than usual, he rolled his eyes at me in frustration before saying his pleasantries. Whoever it had been had gotten him worked up.

“Rough morning?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

With an annoyed sigh, he nodded.

“I shouldn’t say this, but I hope that woman never comes back here.”

I laughed, “We all have that someone. Don’t feel too bad.”

Shaking his head, I could tell it took restraint on his part not to rant and rave about the woman who had left. Emery and I were more friendly than most. I had been seeing him for over two years now, but we still kept a semblance of a professional relationship. Especially Emery.

“How’s the kids?” He asked, making small talk as we started getting ready for a swim.

I was the coach of a high school swim team in town, something I talked about quite a bit, and Emery always liked hearing about. He was a great water polo player but chose to go into physical therapy while he was in college. After seeing one of his friends get injured and how much physical therapy had helped him, Emery decided to change his major. Four years later, he says he could never see himself doing anything else.

“They’re doing well,” I said honestly. “We got a couple of freshmen on the team, but they’re doing a lot better than I thought they would.”

Emery hummed, offering me assistance getting into the pool. While walking had been mostly figured out, the obvious limp aside, I still had some trouble with getting in-and-out of things. Even my bathtub had to be switched out since I was unable to step over it. I still used the medical chair while in there, too.

The water was cool against my skin, and I felt instantly relieved. The dull aches and pains left as soon as I got into the water. Swimming to my usual spot, I waited patiently for Emery to join me.

“That’s great to hear,” He smiled.

Going to the edge of the pool, Emery grabbed a set of barbells and handed them to me. Taking them, the two of us went over the workout plan for the day. Pulling himself up on the pool’s edge, Emery picked up his stopwatch and told me to begin.

Getting on the interstate, I sang along to the radio as I made my way to Hoseok’s. The two of us had been friends since high school, our mutual love for swimming making it impossible to keep apart, and only growing with time. He was one of my biggest support systems after the accident. Both of us had retired years ago now, but I remembered our days as Olympians fondly. Those were the best years of my life.

A small group of our friends were getting together at his house to watch the summer Olympics this afternoon. The women’s swimming finals were happening today, and I knew two of the girls competing. Turning on my blinker, I quickly got off the interstate.

Pressing around my car’s radio screen, I went to my contacts and pressed Andy’s number. She was off today and in charge of getting everything together. Hoseok had tried to do it himself, but always seemed to forget who should do what and ended up buying everything himself. She picked up after the fourth ring.

“What’s up, sugar?” Andy greeted, her voice soft and light. Her Memphis accent was thick and brought a smile to my face. Everyone had made jokes about her being southern when we first met. “Don’t tell me you’re missing Nationals.”

I shook my head even though she could not see me.

“I’m on my way,” I replied. “What should I pick up? I completely forgot.”

Andy sighed, “You’re just as bad as Jin.”

Seokjin was Andy’s husband. The two of them had been together whenever they moved to Colorado, married before I ever met them, and became quick friends with Hoseok when they moved to the Springs. That was how I had met them. Whenever their daughter Dani was born, Andy had asked me to be her Godmother and I sobbed in her lap. They were my closest friends next to Hoseok. Jin was indeed very forgetful, though, and the jibe made me chuckle.

“Cut me some slack,” I argued. “I’ve been working out for two hours straight.”

I could hear the smile in her voice, “Just get some pizza or something. We’re picking up some wings and Hobi’s in charge of the drinks. Minho and Tilly are bringing… something. I don’t even know anymore.”

Fully laughing now, I saw a Little Ceasars up ahead and got into the correct lane. Minho and Matilda were loose cannons when it came to our parties. While sweet, and fiercely loyal, I found myself wondering why I hung out with them at times. We were night and day personality wise, but I loved them dearly. Minho would probably bring some Korean side dishes from home, and Matilda would pick up a few packs of ramen from the store. Andy was stressing over nothing again. I hoped she was getting proper rest on her days off.

“I’m at Little Caesars,” I told her, parking my car. “I’m going to get the basics. How many things of Crazy Bread should I get?”

She thought for a second before replying.

“Five?” She was definitely unsure about her answer.

It was hard to gauge just how hungry everyone would be, and Jin was a bottomless pit.

“Sounds good,” I said instead, already thinking about getting more.

“Drive safe. See you in a bit.”

“See you, Andy,” I unplugged my phone from the charger.

Pressing it to my ear, I pressed my start button and turned it off. I climbed out of my car and started walking to the store.

“Love you,” She sing-songed playfully.

“Love you, too,” I replied. Opening the door, a worker greeted me with a smile. “I’m about to order.”

Shoving my phone in my back pocket, I gave the worker an awkward smile before telling him my order. I ended up getting seven bags instead of five. Just in case. Dani really liked the stuff and Jin could smash an entire bag by himself. While I waited for the cheese pizza to come out of the oven, my phone started ringing.

“Hello?” I answered, unable to check the caller ID while the cashier shoved the crazy bread into my arms.

“I heard from a little bird that you’re thinking about competing again.”

I grinned and thanked the cashier as she handed me my other pizza. 

“Hello to you, too, Frank,” I replied. “And your little birdie wouldn’t happen to be Hoseok, would it?”

Frank and Sarah Boone had become a part of my life after the accident. They ran a local support group to help those affected by drunk drivers to get connected with resources and therapy. The two had lost their son when he decided to drive home drunk from a party and used the group as their own coping mechanism. They were wonderful people and owned their own joint coffee shop and bookstore in Denver. 

“Won’t say names,” He chuckled, “But it might have come from a certain part-timer. So, is it true?”

I placed the boxes in the passenger seat and rounded my car. This was not a conversation I was expecting to happen today. I had brought up the idea to Hoseok since the Olympics were coming up next year, but I was not committed to it. I was enjoying my new job coaching and did not think I was in any condition for competition. When he brought up the Paralympics I laughed. Those competitors were in better shape than I was, and I doubted I would qualify. I was disabled but my disability did not (as far as I knew) carry over into the pool.

“I was just talking shit, Frank,” Backing out of the parking space, I put in Hoseok’s address and started to drive. Switching over to my car’s phone, I put my phone down and looked at the road. “You know I’m happy with my life right now.”

He made a grunting noise that told me he did not really believe me. No one did. All of them were sure I was miserable about my career ending far before its time, and while that may be true, I felt more loss about the life I was supposed to have than winning medals. I missed Namjoon more than any medal. Frank and Sarah understood that.

“I know that,” He cleared his throat, and I could hear the congestion. Frank had come down with a nasty case of walking pneumonia two weeks ago and was still recovering. “Just got a little excited is all. It would be nice to see you putting yourself back out there.”

It would be nice to see myself back in the pool, I could admit that. I had dreams of it at times. Being a competitor was a part of who I was. From the first time my dad took me to my swim classes when I was six all the way until I claimed my eighth Olympic medal, everyone had said there was nothing I hated more than losing. I was fiery, free-spirited, and kept my eyes on the prize. It was the thing Namjoon loved about me the most. That made me frown.

“I left a champ,” I forced a laugh. “Need to save some gold for the rest of them.”

Hiding behind humor was a pastime. 

Frank laughed, oblivious to the hollowness in my tone. “Heard they have a new guy taking your place.”

That made me snort, “He’s not taking my spot. Totally different competitions, my friend.”

“Winning gold like you, that’s for damn sure.”

It must be Jimin Park. The kid turned up on the scene a year after my accident. He was a very, very talented swimmer. Fast as a bullet with the best butterflies I had ever seen, Park was a force to be reckoned with in the men’s league. It was a joy to watch him swim and this year would be his first Olympics. Hoseok and I were very excited to watch him.

“If you’re talking about Park,” I chuckled. “He’s far from new. He’s been competing for a few years now. First Olympics, though.”

“He’s young, ain’t he?”

I nodded, “23, I think.”

Truthfully, I did not know how old he was. I remember the buzz around how young he was when he first broke out on the scene. He was eighteen when he took home gold all season before a family emergency took him out of the Olympics last minute. No one knew what really happened, but his team had said his brother was in an accident, tragically losing his life, and Jimin was prioritizing his family. He’s competed every year since and with the Olympics next year, I was certain Park would be there. He deserved it.

I was parked in front of the house now and from the cars outside, I was the last person to arrive. Frank and I talked for a few moments. It was cute how much he had learned about swimming so we could be buddies. Sarah was the only person who recognized my face when I first started going to the meetings and her husband was determined to get me to open after weeks of sitting in bitter silence in the back. 

We hung up after I promised I would make it to the meeting next Thursday. Frank was not happy about me skipping the past two weeks, but understood I was taking some time to myself. My boys were going to compete this year, I had fought tooth and nail for that funding, and the extra hours at school were exhausting. Jeremy and Evan showed promise, but they knew how to drive me up the wall with all of their simple mistakes.

As I suspected, the party was in full swing. Matilda and Minho were laughing loudly on the sofa, Hoseok sporting a beer in the recliner next to them, and Dani practicing her gymnastics in the middle of it all. I could hear the commentators talking animatedly about the girls, who they believed would come out on top and highlights from the night before, but I never really paid them any mind.

“Pizza’s here!” Minho boomed, practically running to greet me.

I laughed, handing over the boxes, “Need help carrying the rest in.”

Matilda offered, happily taking my car keys and leaving the house. Minho had disappeared into the kitchen. Dani spared me enough attention for a smile and wave before launching into excited pleas for me to watch her new moves. 

“Super cool, babe,” I smiled sweetly after her handstand. Dani was not particularly good at gymnastics. She started later than the other girls, rarely did anything she was actively afraid of, and hated her coach. Andy was already looking for a better gym, but I just thought she should start pointing her in another direction. Dani loved dancing and she would be a wonderful ballerina or figure skater if given the proper training. The Kim’s, however, seemed fine watching her deal with gymnastics and cheerleading. “You’re getting better.”

Dani beamed, “Daddy said the same thing.”

Flipping the right way around, her hair coming out of its messily tied bun and falling down past her shoulders. Brown, loose waves made her look so much younger than her eight years, her small stature only selling the illusion even more. Her skin was smooth, and she always looked as though she had been playing outside in the sun, a constant tinge of pink beneath her sandy skin. Her features favored her father, large eyes, long face, and plush, pillow-like lips, but after meeting Andy’s parents, I could see her grandmother hidden within the mischievous glint in her eyes and too small ears.

“Your dad’s a smart guy,” I joked. 

She continued to babble away as I made myself more comfortable, kicking off my shoes and tossing my hat onto the small buffet table that sat above the shoe rack. Matilda came back inside, her arms filled with bags of bread, and I took two from the pile. With a thankful, thin-lipped grin, she also complimented Dani’s moves before disappearing around the corner in the direction of the kitchen.

“Dani,” Hoseok seemed to have finally grown tired of hearing the girl talk. I would imagine this was all he had been hearing since he arrived. “Do you want to color with me?”

The little girl clapped happily, her eyes bright and shining, before abandoning her mat to gather a few coloring books and her massive hoard of crayons. Hoseok looked at me then, a sly smile on his face before winking. I chuckled and shook my head. He always did that to make her shut up. 

I left the living room before Dani came back. I loved her dearly, but I could admit she talked too much. It was a good thing for a kid her age to be so social but that did not mean I wanted to hear her every waking thought. Andrea and Seokjin were the only parents in our little group, and I imagined it would stay that way for a while. Even if my dreams of children were still alive, I did not have anybody I wanted to take on that responsibility with.

Minho was eating the pizza, as expected, while Matilda had already claimed her own bag of Crazy Bread. Andy and Jin were snuggled up at their dining table, his arms securing her to his chest, and she curled into him. I loved watching them together. I had grown up in a house with two people who hated one another, barely kept up a facade of civility before my mother skipped down to be with her new boyfriend in Florida leaving my dad and I behind in Pennsylvania. We made it work but things were never the same after that. It made me happy to know little Dani would feel the love radiating in her home as she grew up. I had never seen two people so enamored with one another in my life- not even Namjoon and I.

“How was therapy?” Minho asked after we exchanged pleasantries. “Hoseok said you were talking about competing next season.”

I laughed in disbelief. That man did not know how to keep his mouth shut. I said the same thing I told Frank over the phone, and he scoffed. Minho never truly laughed, if I was honest. It was always a snicker, scoff, or chuckle. He was a man of little words and even fewer outbursts of joy, and I found his versions of those things just as reserved as the rest of him. He was the most expressive when he smiled, but those were just as rare as a genuine laugh. Dani managed to squeeze more out of him than anybody else. 

“Stop meddling!” Andy scolded the other man from her spot in Seokjin’s lap. 

“Never,” My friend replied, amusement clear in his voice.

“Never!” Dani echoed, voice louder than Hoseok’s. She was giggling happily alongside him, and I rolled my eyes. He was her favorite. “Never!” She repeated again, pleased when Hoseok laughed. “Never!”

“That’s enough,” Jin’s voice was even and smooth.

Dani did not shout again but we could all hear her and Hoseok attempting to cover up their laughter. Andy smiled fondly. Their little friendship had warmed her heart. After Dani, Andrea had been diagnosed with cervical cancer. It had come back six times before her doctor said she needed to get a hysterectomy. She grieved the children they would never have, the large family she dreamed of stolen from her, but once Dani was old enough to walk, she had been glued to Hoseok’s hip.

Hoseok for all he spoke about never wanting children, he adored Dani. His family was small, he and his sister the only children, but they were extremely close. She lived in New York City as a fashion designer and got married last year, and I always had the feeling Hoseok felt lonely without her. Dani was a welcome break from routine and made him feel special. It was sweet but I hoped my friend would find someone to share his life with someday. 

“It’s starting,” Hoseok announced.

It was a great day for the U.S. Opal Simmons was one to look out for. She was the oldest woman on the team, a shocking 24, but she could out swim a vast majority of them. Her freestyles were amazing, earning her a gold with Japan just a few points behind. I was hopeful she would be able to come out on top in her distance swim. While not the fastest in the pool, the girl knew how to pace herself. The cameras cut to the shot of one of her coaches smiling triumphantly at the performance.

He was a good friend of mine, Oswald Bunch. He had been heavily involved with the Olympics for years now, promoted to one of the lead coaches back in 2020, but I remembered when he was still competing. A few years older than me, Ozzie was known for his backstrokes and long-distance swimming, and we bonded whenever we got the chance to meet in London back in 2012.

That was my first Olympics. I was a fresh-faced 20-year-old on a mission. My team at the time was stoked to have me around and I was excited to be there. I had built up a solid reputation over the course of two years, winning seven medals my first adult-competitive season, and the high was incredible. Back then, I was always the one to beat at the breaststroke and therefore, the medleys were in my favor as well. I walked away with 4 golds that year, and again in 2016. The accident happened a year later, but I left the competitive world with 8 gold Olympic medals and 19 world champion gold medals. Katie Ledecky held the record now, but for a time, I was the most decorated female swimmer in history. I was excited when I was finally passed up, happy for the younger woman.

Ozzie was the man, but sadly never got out of Michael Phelp’s shadow. It was not his fault. That man was insane in the water and would become the most decorated Olympian ever. Bunch was a great swimmer, but I did not know a single person who could compare to Phelps. Hoseok, maybe, but he only had 12 gold medals. Phelps had 23.

“Simmons looks great out there,” Hoseok praised, a large smile on his face.

“Her butterflies could use a little work,” I murmured back, already seeing how I could fix it with some extra exercises. “It’s slowing down her freestyle. What else is she scheduled for?”

“I think she’s doing the 200-meter freestyles and the medley relay,” He replied, taking a sip of his beer. “Bunch is banking on her pacing.”

“She won’t win those,” I was positive. “She’s just going to get tired. Breaststrokes are obviously not her thing.”

He laughed, “You’re the breaststroke queen, Y/N. No one's as good as yours.”

I shrugged, “Ledecky is a great swimmer.”

“Never said she wasn’t,” He sipped. “Her freestyles are killer. Girls could never beat you in breaststroke or a medley. You’re untouchable there.”

It made me smile despite myself. Hoseok was right, those were my competitions. Even if Katie had surpassed my record for most gold medals ever, I still had more Olympic medals than she did, and they were in completely different events. I could have kept my title had the accident never happened. I would have. Even if we were friendly, Ledecky would have been my competition, and I would have fought hard to keep the record.

“What’s Jimin doing this year?” Matilda asked as the women’s scores were posted. Opal would be a strong contender. “Anyone know?”

I nodded, “I haven’t watched every competition, but he’s sticking to what he does best. Didn’t he swim the 200 yesterday?”

“Yeah,” Hoseok replied. “He’s skipping out today and doing his individual tomorrow. Swimming back-to-back after that. Kid’s a fucking animal in the water.”

I couldn't agree more. As I stared at Opal’s smiling face, her pale blonde hair and bright blue eyes, I wished I had been able to watch Jimin instead. She was cold and impassive even with a large, perfectly white grin that took up most of her face. In fact, I found her quite boring outside of the water. No flair or features that set her apart. Just a tall, well-built blonde with a nice smile. Ozzie would have to work hard to make her memorable.

“Simmons did well,” I yawned. “It’s getting late, though, and I have work in the morning.”

The goodbyes were quick, and Dani made me promise to take her roller skating soon. There was a girl at school making fun of her and she wanted her “super cool” and “famous” aunt to tell them off. We all laughed, and I told her we could go this weekend after gymnastics practice. 

My drive home was uneventful. It was already dark out, something that bothered me more than I would ever admit out loud, and I never turned on the radio. I preferred to drive in absolute silence, eyes and ears glued to the road. I had only started talking on the phone recently.

I was much worse after the accident. I refused to get inside of a car for weeks and if I did, I was a mess. No one was allowed to be a distracted driver either. No radio, no phone, no conversations. Nothing. Jin had been the default chauffeur during that time and put up with my anxiety better than the others.

It was close to a year before I tried to sit in the front seat again. Another five before I got behind the wheel. For hours I would sit in the garage with my hands on the steering wheel staring off into the distance. I was still in a wheelchair for most of my daily activities and a very obvious limp made me too self-conscious to be seen. Isolating was easy. Keeping the others away was more difficult.

My drives started with me just backing out of the driveway. I went around the block a few weeks later, hands shaking and Andy trying her best to soothe me in the passenger seat. I did not drive past the Whole Foods two minutes away from my house until after the second year. Things were easier after I ditched the wheelchair and got more open to the idea of therapy.

Moving out of Denver was the best decision I ever made, the Springs were easier to drive in and the traffic was not as awful. Andrea and Jin bought in Black Forest once I was settled in Briargate, so loneliness was never an option.

Matilda almost moved in after the housewarming party Andy threw for me. She said it was far too big for one person and the neighborhood was to die for. I laughed her off at the time not really wanting to admit how nice it sounded.

Nestled in Fairfax, my house was a beautiful piece of architecture. The striking brick and wood front exterior provided a warm welcome, with teal trimmings bringing a fresh feeling to the otherwise plain color scheme. With five bedrooms and four bathrooms, I dreamed of the day I was able to fill them all. A dream that I hoped would come before I hit 35.

 Pulling up to the house, I waved to Chika next door. The old woman raised her hand, still nursing a large mug of what I assumed to be tea and smiled. They were lovely people and we often helped one another out whenever we could. Chika liked to bring over food if she cooked and I paid my landscapers to keep with their lawn.

“Late night?” Chika called out from her front porch. 

“Went to a friend’s house,” I replied.

“Good,” She meant it. “Glad to see you getting out of the house.”

I smiled but was not sure how well she could see my face in the dark.

“Yeah. Night, Chika.”

“Night, Y/N.”

I showered quickly and sipped on a cup of chamomile tea before heading off to bed. After taking my night medications, one to force myself to sleep while the other blocked the never-ending nightmares, I climbed into bed. I was able to play a single game of solitaire before they both kicked in. I fell asleep with the sound of gentle rain humming in the background.

“Let’s go, guys!” I yelled, blowing my whistle.

The twelve boys waited, their small talk coming to an abrupt end. We had just finished warming up and I allowed all of them a short water break. I was a huge advocate for rest periods. No one needed to pull a muscle or fatigue early due to over working. I had a 2800-yard routine prepared, 800 of those done during our warm-ups, and the rest divided between our main set and cooldowns.

Jordan, our captain, was smiling happily. He was such an excited kid, and his positivity was contagious. While some of the boys were disappointed when I first chose him to replace our old captain after his graduation, I was sure his spirit would do everyone some good. It did not take long for the others to come around and he was beloved.

“Alright, so we have a 1600 main set. In between each of our reps, we will be doing a switch out of easy breast and backstrokes. Clear?”

“Crystal!” They all replied in unison.

“Alright. That's what I like to hear,” Flipping through my clipboard was more for show than anything. I used to rely on it heavily when I first started teaching since brain damage messed with my short-term memory, but I had been doing this long enough to know what was happening. Now it was just a way for me to write notes about their performances. “We’re starting with a 4x100 with 15-second rest; the first 25 butterfly. 3x100 with 10-second rest; again, first 25 butterfly. Following?”

No questions were asked, and a few guys voiced they were good for me to keep going.

“Good. Then we have a 2x100 with 5-second rest. First 25?”

“Butterfly,” Jordan replied.

“Thank you, Abbot. Okay, and we’re finishing up with 8x50 freestyle. Fast and easy.”

All twelve of them began to prepare to take their mark. One by one they stood on their blocks and waited for me to make the call. I admired them all for a moment. You could see the difference in each one of them. Those who were confident stood tall, their shoulders squared, and head held high. Newcomers were still figuring out their place on the team but were eager to prove themselves. Two of them would be leaving us this year, Gabriel and Marcus, and neither one of them were continuing to swim after graduation. It was a sad thought, but I was happy with how they carried themselves. They had both come a long way.

“Take your mark,” My voice echoed. Each boy got into their starting position as I watched them like a hawk. One of the freshmen, Phineas, needed major work on his form. I would talk to Jordan about it. Grabbing hold of my stopwatch, I took a deep breath. “Go!”

Marcus was the first in, like always, and I ignored him. I knew he was fully capable of taking care of himself. Phineas was the weakest link in my chain right now. He was struggling, his arms growing tired and his speed nonexistent. The other freshmen, Tobias, or as the guys called him, Twig, was not much better. He had more strength, but I chopped that up to his size. I would need to really start working some more beginner drills to get them in shape. Jordan and Gabriel would be more than happy to give up a Saturday or two to help out. 

Marcus was the first one finished and I marked his time. Still a tenth of a second faster than Jordan. After Jordan came Gabriel and then Joseph and Anthony. I was disappointed in Jett’s time, but I would invite him to the weekend practices with the others. He needed some foot and hip exercises. Twig came in before Phineas, but every other boy was already out of the water by the time they made it back. Phineas was visibly upset, and I made a note to pull him to the side after practice to cheer him up. 

Practices typically lasted two hours and the boys swam hard. Phineas did, in fact, perk up after I told him I was noticing tons of improvements in his performance. Twig just seemed happy he was not the worst guy in the water. After talking it out with Jordan, we decided on a good weekend time for extra practices, and I stayed behind to print off a poster and signup sheets for the rest of the boys. I had a feeling almost everyone except Marcus would show. He had a part-time job now and his weekends were full. 

Sitting in my office, I poured over my observations and timecards. With a team this large I should have an extra set of hands to help with timing. I sent an email to the principal asking about helpers and got back to the nitty gritty. 

All of them could work on something. Phineas might have needed the most work, Twig not far behind him, but my most seasoned swimmers had room for improvement. Jett was still struggling with maximizing propulsion, Anthony and Milo needed to get better water balance, and Gabriel’s pull could be better. Even my best swimmers, Jordan and Marcus, could use a bit of refinement in technique. It was nitpicking but they were too talented to give up on their potential.

It was close to nine when my phone began to ring. I knew it could not be any of my usual calls. Andy was working nights this week and Jin was fast asleep at home with Dani. Minho was in bed by eight, Matilda would never bother me this late, and Hoseok hated phone calls. Checking the caller ID, I was shocked to see Ozzie’s name.

“Hello?” I answered tentatively, afraid he might have called me by accident.

“Otter,” Ozzie greeted me happily. He seemed so delighted that I answered, I smiled even though I hated the nickname. “How’s life going?”

I chuckled, “Rockin’ and rollin’. Saw your girl last night. Looks great, Oz.”

“Appreciate it,” He was so dismissive of it I became interested. This was not a catch-up phone call or else he might have hooked onto the bait. My stomach twisted in anticipation. If it was not for pleasantries, then it was for work and that was something to be excited about. “Still teaching high school?”

“Mhm,” I fiddled with my pencil, papers forgotten. “My boys team is strong. I only have three girls that signed up so we’re just training during P.E. and hoping some more join.”

We chatted a bit more about the team. The longer it went on the more knots I had. Oswald was fishing for something, and I wanted to figure out what. After telling him about Phineas, I asked what the random call was about.

“Always cutting to the chase,” He joked.

I did not laugh.

“Alright, you caught me,” Ozzie sighed. “Look, the Olympic team is looking for another assistant coach and your name came up a few times.”

My mouth went dry. I had heard about Tiara Marsh leaving to focus on her family. She had a baby and stepped down a few months after coming back from maternity leave. I respected the decision and messaged her my congratulations. Ozzie had taken the lead coach position three years ago with Todd Packer as his partner. The other assistant, Drew Jones, was a sweet girl from what I heard and working with her would be a dream. 

Still, it was an impossible task. Trying to imagine myself on the sidelines, coaching the next big names in sporting history with a massive squad behind me made my stomach queasy. I doubt any of them respected me. My leg was ruined, my career burned out just as quickly as it started, and I never had the chance to reach my peak. Now I am a 30-year-old washed up recluse. Just thinking about the media frenzy made my breathing get a little heavier. 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Oz,” I murmured.

“I told them you wouldn’t go for it,” He replied, unsurprised. “They’re going to approach Storm Kline instead.”

“Oh,” Now I was confused. “Why’d you bring it up then?”

“Because I got to thinking,” I braced myself. Ozzie was known for his big, bright, dumb, impulsive ideas. “I knew the Olympics would be asking too much of you. Cameras and interviews are the last thing you want after the fucking circus you went through last time.”

That was an understatement. Circus did not even begin to describe the absolute hell the media put me through after the accident. So many speculations and insensitive remarks managed to ruin any peace I could have gotten during that time.

While I was in a coma, no one knowing if I would ever wake up again, the news thought it wise to harass my friends and family. My old coach, Victor Stanley, was assaulted whenever he left the hospital. When news got out that Namjoon was pulled off life support, his mother and father were so sick and tired of people parked outside their house they packed up and moved away before I even woke up. I wanted nothing to do with the media after that.

“It’s a little different but I think you’d be a great fit for the job,” Ozzie continued. “One of my boys, Jimin Park, is in need of a personal coach. His mom is sick and he’s wanting to stay in Michigan for as long as he can before coming out to the Springs to start training for Paris.

“I almost called Jung, but I don’t think the two of them would get along well enough for this to work. You’re the only person I know I can trust with him, and from what I’m hearing, you’re one hell of a coach already.”

This was somehow even more nerve wracking than the assistant position. I had never trained one-on-one before, at least, not long term. I was sure I could do it, but a high schooler was very different from an Olympic athlete relying on me to keep him in shape for the season. 

“What happened to Hamilton?” I asked, still unable to wrap my head around the situation. “I thought he was Park’s personal trainer.”

“He was but the two fell out when Jimin decided to stay in Michigan. You know how Matt is.”

That I did. Matthew Hamilton was a massive asshole, and that was putting it lightly. He was one of the best trainers around and got results which was why he still had a job despite his rotten attitude. I had the misfortune of running into him quite a few times over the years and my distaste only grew with each passing. I could imagine that conversation not going over particularly well.

“But what about my team?” I asked, staring at my desk. All of my plans and strategies were mapped out and I was ready to put them to use. My boys were counting on me and leaving them felt wrong. “I don’t want to leave them high and dry, Oz.”

“Ask Hoseok to cover for you,” I rolled my eyes at his blase attitude.

“This is my team.”

“And this is Jimin Park.”

I hated that I understood where he was coming from. Most of my boys would never go off to swim professionally and their skill set was not on par with anyone out right now. They were not committed to the strict regime that would take and I did not get paid well enough to justify the extra hours. Jimin, however, would pay me extremely well and I would get that experience under my belt. I might even learn a few new things to add to my own drills.

“Give me a few days to think about it,” I finally conceded. “And set up a phone call, or meeting, or something with the kid. Need to make sure we’re on the same page before we waste one another’s time.”

Ozzie laughed, “I think you’ll get along just fine, but sure. I think he’d appreciate the gesture.”

Nothing of much importance was said after that. We hung up with promises of talking soon and then I was alone once more. My office was still just as messy and swamped with paperwork as it had been before, but it all looked different. It felt like I was already gone, and a deep homesickness settled in my chest. I stared at the papers in front of me and sighed before shooting a text to Hoseok.

As I expected, everyone had told me to jump at the opportunity. Hoseok even said if I didn’t, I would be the biggest idiot he had ever met. Matilda asked if she could come (I told her no), and Dani just seemed bummed that we could not hang out anymore. Andy and Jin were the most supportive of the situation while Minho the most cautious. He was worried about the media catching wind of something and causing a frenzy. After Matila pointed out how old news I was, I felt a little less afraid of that possibility even if it was a hit to my ego.

Ozzie seemed pumped when I told him I was open to the idea if Jimin and I seemed to mesh well. I was firm in my decision to talk to him before making any concrete plans, and from what Ozzie told me, my future student was extremely receptive to the idea. I also learned that Opal was jealous of her fellow Olympian, but I tried not to let that puff up my chest. 

That was why I was sitting in my home office, hair nicely styled and a light layer of makeup on waiting for Jimin to join our Zoom call. I wore blue since Ozzie said it was his favorite color, but the material was slowly driving me insane. While the color was nice, deep blue and sparkled whenever the light hit it, it was scratchy and irritated the skin around my chest and shoulders. I almost got up to change but a small icon with the letters ‘JP’ in the center popped up before I could.

“Hello?” A soft voice called out.

“Hey,” I replied with an awkward wave. “Can you see me?”

“Yeah, can you see me?”

I shook my head, “Just your icon.”

Cursing under his breath, Jimin apologized for the tech issues. I adored how nice he was to listen to. It was unique, gentle and raspy, but also feminine in its softness. There was no bass or hardness, every sound and syllable light and airy with self-depreciating laughter after every insult he threw at himself. Apparently, Jimin was not great with technology and always had a difficult time with cyber meetings.

“This is fine with me,” I tried to reassure him. “I don’t need to see your face to talk.”

“No,” He agreed, “But it’s a little awkward for you to have your camera on and mine’s off.”

I could hear him clicking around. “I’ll turn mine off, too, if that helps.”

He shut that down immediately and continued clicking and typing. After a few more minutes, he found his problem. Then the icon was gone and there he was.

His face was round, his cheeks plump, and chin soft. The first thing I noticed about him was his lips. They were rounded and plump like a baby duck with a soft, heart shaped cupid’s bow that led up a small, button nose. Everything about his face was soft except his eyes which were almond shaped and flicked outwards like a cat’s. His hair was pitch black and parted down the middle, framing his face and making his pale skin look like snow. When he caught a glimpse of himself in the camera a large smile took over his face and I felt the wind get knocked out of me. 

“Can you see me?” He asked.

I nodded, “Yeah, I think we’re in the clear.”

Neither one of us knew what to say for a moment. He swirled around in his chair in search of his water bottle. He stood up, excusing himself for a moment. He was also wearing a blue shirt, a pair of black pants, and seemed just as nervous as I did. He left the room while I sat and thought about him.

There was one word to describe Jimin: pretty. His soft lines and tiny waist made him look so much smaller than I had imagined him. All of the years seeing him on the tv did nothing to compare to watching him walk around a little room in his home. Without a cap and goggles, Jimin was angelic, and I felt uneasy. How was I supposed to work with someone I found this attractive?

“Sorry,” He was back now, a large Yeti cup in hand. “I should’ve made sure I had this already.”

“No worries. I’m not in any rush.”

He sat back down, and I finally noticed the large oval necklace he was wearing. I did not know what it could mean to him, but I had seen him with it a few times at events. It was simple and silver, no gem in the center of the pendant, and sat directly over his heart. He took a sip from his cup, snapping me back to action.

“How’s your mother doing?” I asked. “Ozzie told me she wasn’t well.”

His expression saddened me, and I hated that I brought it up. I knew how much I did not enjoy talking about Namjoon’s death, and while his mother was still alive, she was not well. Unfortunately, I could not take the question back.

“I’m not sure how much you know,” He started, leaning back in the leather computer chair. “She has melanoma and isn’t doing chemotherapy anymore. I’m staying in Michigan so I can spend as much time with her as possible.”

My heart ached for him and his family. Cancer had a reputation for ripping families apart and I could only imagine how this was affecting the young swimmer. My own grief was long and drawn out, guilt and shame hanging over my head for years before I was finally able to let it go, but the death itself was swift. Joon was dead and buried before I woke up from the coma, but I could recall every detail of that hospital room when Victor told me what happened. I hated to think about watching the life slip from him, knowing he would die, and knowing there was absolutely nothing I could do about it.

“I understand. I’m really sorry to hear that.”

I knew it was inadequate, but I did not know this man well enough to say my thoughts out loud. Maybe later, after a few weeks of training together, I could get the courage to let him know I would be there if he needed someone to talk to. I knew all about navigating grief and I would happily help him stay motivated through this horrible, tragic time. Jimin stayed quiet so I took it upon myself to get the ball rolling again.

“I know you’re going through a difficult time right now, and I just want you to know that I get it and I see you. If we work together, I will make sure your mental health comes first. Whatever you need, whatever your family needs, will always come before getting in the pool.

“You were working with Hamilton before this, and whatever happened between you two- I don’t know, that’s none of my business, but I can promise you I will try my best to make sure our professional relationship doesn’t reach that point. Just tell me what’s up and I’ll make it work.”

Jimin smiled a small, sad smile that paled in comparison to that blinding show of teeth earlier. My eyes could not help their roaming and I felt guilty. There was a chance we would be working together, and I could not feel this way about him if that time came. I could only hope that if we did decide to move forward with this arrangement, any affections I could have for him would get buried. I would have to talk to Hoseok about this.

“I have to take her to appointments once a week,” He replied, voice small and eyes staring at something off camera. “She’s not getting her chemo anymore but still goes to see her doctor often to manage symptoms as best she can. She also has a dance class every Sunday morning and I will be going with her.”

I nodded, “I can live with that. As long as you’re still putting in work you can take your mom anywhere.”

He took a deep breath and finally looked at the camera again. The vulnerability I found there took me off guard. Jimin must be someone who wears their emotions on their sleeve, and I would have to learn to nurture that. Namjoon always told me I needed to work on being more sensitive to others, a skill I had yet to master. 

“Matt didn’t like how much time I spent out of the pool. I understand where he’s coming from but I’m hoping we can come up with a training schedule that works well for the both of us. I feel bad enough pulling you away from your life, and I don’t want my personal shit to bleed into what you’re going through.”

It was a kind gesture, one I appreciated, but he needed to get over it. I told him in so many words that I was happy to help him.

“Trust me,” I said. “If I didn’t want to do this then we wouldn’t be talking.”

Jimin seemed to like my bluntness and I was fond of his over-analytical anxiety. The way he fidgeted reminded me of Namjoon, his forward and direct confrontation of his emotions and needs so strikingly similar it made it nearly impossible for me to dislike him. I don’t think a person alive could dislike this man. 

“I can be in Ann Arbor next week,” Jimin had gone on another rant about inconveniencing me and I shut it down. “Everything here is already squared away. We can discuss it more later, how does that sound?”

He smiled wearily, his nerves causing him to squirm in his seat. 

“I’m really looking forward to working with you, Y/N.”

I hoped my expression looked as sincere as I felt, “I’ll take care of you, kiddo.”

Pulling a face, Jimin laughed heartily. Triumphant, I smiled brazenly, his laughter contagious. I made a note to pull out a few age jokes now and then if it meant making him smile like that. 

“I’m an adult man, I’ll have you know,” He was still laughing.

“Could’ve fooled me,” I teased.

“We’re going to get along just fine,” He seemed more confident than ever, and it warmed my heart. “Let me know when you’re expected to get here. Do you have my number?”

We exchanged our contact details. After days of talking over email, I finally found a smiley face emoji in my notifications, a Michigan area code attached. Saving his number, I replied with the old woman emoji earning myself another laugh. 

“Talk to you later, Park.”

“See you, coach.”

I left the meeting, my chest much lighter after talking to him. He was a sweet man and not half bad to look at. I was a few years older but not disgustingly so, and he was more than available from the sound of things. Realizing the direction my thoughts were going in, I stood up from the chair to start writing out some drills and scheduling prototypes. Before I could get out of the door, however, my phone vibrated in my hand.

Jimin: 👶

I did not respond until I had my flight booked.

Me: I’m flying in on Tuesday. Know a good place to stay?

He replied a few minutes later.

Jimin: Do you need a lot of space?

Me: Not really

Jimin: One of my neighbors has their mother-in-law suite for rent. I could probably cut you a good deal with them.

I smiled. He really was a sweetheart. 

Me: Thank you. And no deals. I can pay for myself.

Jimin: My mother would be very upset if I didn’t at least try.

Jimin: I was raised to respect the elderly.

I laughed out loud, thoroughly amused. I had a feeling he was testing the waters after I poked fun at him earlier. Jimin was probably used to the stick stuck up Hamilton’s ass. He was in for a treat. At the pool I was cool and collected but I could cut up with the best of them. 

Me: Sorry, couldn’t hear you over the sound of my hip breaking

I was practically giddy with excitement waiting for his response. It had been such a long time since someone joked around with me like this. Hoseok tried but he was awful at taking a joke, so I stopped poking the bear. It was refreshing and all too familiar. 

Jimin: I’ll get you one of those life alerts just in case.

Was he flirting with me? Did I care? Shrugging, I went along with it. I would remain strictly professional while we worked together, but if things developed after that I would let them. Happily. I barely knew this guy, but I remember this feeling. It was the first time since Joon’s death that it showed itself to me and I wanted to hold onto it.

First work then play, I told myself. 

Who knows? This little bit of infatuation could fade just as quickly as it came, and I would leave Ann Arbor with a new friend instead. Might even be able to score a steady job with the kid if things worked out. My life in Colorado would remain untouched, my friends happily accepting a new kid in the group when he came to visit, and my house just as bare and empty as it always had been. The years continuing to pass me by.

I tried not to think about why that thought made me want to cry.

“I told you I’m fine,” I sighed into the phone, waiting at the baggage claim for my things. “You’re in rare form today.”

Andrea laughed, the sound slightly hysterical and I winced. That was the wrong thing to say, but she was driving me insane. I had traveled around the world multiple times, and she was acting like Michigan was going to kill me.

“Well excuse me for worrying,” Andy bit back, her tone clipped and harsh.

“I’m sorry,” I heaved one of my bags off the conveyor belt. “I know you’re just looking out for me, but I promise you I’m fine Andrea. You’ll be my first phone call if that changes.”

The other bag finally popped up and I quickly snatched it. Slinging the large duffle bag over my shoulder, I adjusted it until it rested comfortably on my shoulders. Lifting the handlebar off my large suitcase, I drug it behind me while I followed the signs for the exit. Jimin said he arranged for someone to pick me up but did not specify who. He was busy with a few interviews this morning and could not get me himself. He had been very disappointed about it.

“I know I’m nagging,” Andy groaned. “Scratch that. I’m acting like a total helicopter parent.”

I laughed, “Your husband had been even worse. The man tried to book me a charter flight because he was worried about my leg in an airport. What the fuck does that even mean?”

Everyone had been super happy for me, especially my team. Those boys almost cried when I told them who I was helping out and Jordan begged me to bring him back something autographed. None of them seemed as familiar with my own background but I was fine with that. All of them took to Hoseok rather well, except for Marcus who made me swear to come back before school let out. I did not tell them I was planning to make monthly trips to give Jimin some space with his mom. I was sure that surprise would go over very, very well.

Despite his indifference when I was first talking about the job, Seokjin became an overprotective dad as soon as I made him aware my flights were booked. He was quick to cancel them and put in a few calls of his own. Jin was an operations manager for Delta airlines and knew plenty of pilots. He was able to get me a plane to land in Willow Run out in Ypsilanti, but I quickly intervened and told him a normal flight was perfect. I rebooked my tickets and flew into Detroit Metro at 10 am.

Andy snorted, “He means well.”

It was snowing in Michigan, and I was finally hit with the realization that I would be seeing far more of it here than I ever did back in Colorado. It was only mid-September, so it was still light and melted away quickly. I would have to ask Jimin if it stayed this calm into December, but I had a feeling things would pick up by late November. 

It was a very cold morning in Detroit, and I was excited to get into a heated car. Getting off the phone with Andy, I quickly sent Jimin a quick text message letting him know I was outside and looking for my ride. A loud honk made my jump, almost dropping my phone in the process.

Pulled up at the curb was a navy-blue Volkswagen Beetle. I could tell from its body that it was an older model, and it was a convertible. Sitting behind the wheel was a little old lady, a pair of gardening gloves on her hands and a pair of large, hexagon sunglasses taking up most of her face. Her face was familiar, and it hit me. Sitting behind that wheel was Jimin’s mother. 

She smiled at me and waved, beckoning me closer to the little car. I forced myself to smile back. My nerves made it feel damn near impossible, but I managed. Opening the door, I did not know where to put my things. The backseat was so small.

“There’s a lever on that side that’ll push it up. You should be able to get everything to fit if you try hard enough.”

Fumbling around, I finally found the little handle and pulled up. The seat lurched forward, folding in on itself, and I clumsily shoved my suitcase into the backseat. It smelled like stale cigarettes and fake pine, but when you had a car this old it usually had history. I was excited to pick up my new car from the dealership. My Porsche already had a difficult time driving around Colorado and I did not think it would survive the heavy winters in Michigan, so I decided to leave it home and get an Altima. I had the money and could easily get rid of it. Tilly had been talking about needing an upgrade. 

Finally managing to get both bags into the backseat, I put the seat back and got into the car. Closing the door, I sighed in content. The heaters were at full blast and pointed directly at my cold face. Buckling my seatbelt, I leaned back and tried to relax after the long day of flying. Jimin’s mother pulled off the curb.

“It’s cold out there,” She laughed, her voice just as sickeningly sweet as her son’s. “Glad you were able to make it okay.”

I nodded, “I’m surprised to see it snowing so early. We don’t usually get anything until closer to Thanksgiving.”

“Colorado, right?” I could hear a faint accent and I remembered that Jimin was first-generation Korean American. Both of his parents moved to the states before he and his brother were born. Media outlets loved talking about it, but I was not sure how much he enjoyed discussing his personal life. While he came off as a sweet and mild-mannered man, he kept his personal life private. “I’ve heard it’s very pretty.”

“It is. Too expensive, but very, very pretty.”

Then she was fiddling around with the radio, and I finally cracked a genuine smile. I was not sure how much work had been done on her car, but I was positive the sound system had been completely redone. A brand-new radio, complete with a touch screen and Bluetooth, lit up at the touch of her fingers. A man’s voice serenaded us through the updated speakers, and I was in awe at how beautiful it sounded. I assumed he was speaking Korean and Jimin’s mother sang along fluently. 

“What’s your name again?” She asked once the song was over. Another, more upbeat song started, and she increased the volume. “Jimin told me but I’m horrible with that sort of thing. I’m Na-Yeon, but Audrey works if it’s easier for you.”

I pulled a face, “Audrey?”

“It’s my American name. It’s easier for people to pronounce and more convenient. All of us have one. Jimin’s is Christian.”

It was odd to think about. A name that was mine but not mine. Christian did not suit Jimin, but I could imagine growing up with a name that other people made fun of would be difficult. Maybe even impossible. Still, I did not feel comfortable calling the woman Audrey. She did not seem to particularly care for the name and I did not want to alienate myself from their circle for convenience's sake.

Namjoon’s mother had been similar to Na-Yeon, always afraid her culture and customs would make me uncomfortable or burdened, but I managed to calm her fears and reassure her after years of showing up to Chuseok with a smile on my face and food in my hands.

“I like Na-Yeon,” I finally replied, voice small. “It’s nice. I’m Y/N.”

“I like Y/N,” She echoed back to me, making me grin. “It’s nice.”

It was a long drive filled with K-pop, ballads, and sporadic conversation. Na-Yeon was very funny. She sang along to every song, dancing as she went, and calling on me to sing alone. Of course, I could not speak Korean very well and hummed the melodies instead, but it appeased her. When she did speak to me it was to ask me questions about myself. 

“You’re that swimmer, aren’t you?” She asked, sparing me a look once we stopped at a redlight. “The one everyone’s trying to beat.”

I shook my head, “At one time, sure, but not anymore. I’m retired.”

Squinting her eyes at me, Na-Yeon pursed her lips. 

“We used to watch you. Haru called you a mermaid.”

 That was not too much of a shock. Jimin was swimming at that time. While I am a few years older than him, he would have been in middle school when I went to my first Olympics. He had told me he joined the swim team the year before. He said that watching Michael Phelps win 6 gold medals changed his life forever, and I could not help but agree with him. I had a huge amount of respect for my fellow Olympian and wished him well in his retirement. What shocked me the most was the mention of Jimin’s little brother. The dead brother.

“That’s sweet,” I did not know what to say. “I felt like a mermaid back then. I’m not that good anymore but I still like to swim sometimes.”

“You were in an accident,” It was not a question. “We saw it all over the news. Couldn’t believe all of those people harassing your family like that. So sorry for your loss.”

It was strange to talk about it again. I appreciated her keeping it vague. I had gone through a tremendous amount of change and growth since then, but it was nice to hear someone else validate how crazy the media frenzy was. I would not wish it upon anyone, and I was happy her family was allowed to grieve in peace. Neither Namjoon’s nor my own were allowed that luxury.

“Thank you,” I replied. “I’m sorry about Haru. I can’t imagine what your family went through.”

She smiled sadly, “I think you can.”

We did not talk much after that. The music still played, Na-Yeon still sang, and I still hummed, but we did not ask any more questions. Neither one of us wanted to bring up those hurt feelings. It was not until we turned down a long, empty road that I realized I had yet to ask her about her cancer. 

“Are you feeling okay?” I asked.

“As good as I can,” She breathed. “My boys are both worriers so don’t take anything they say to heart. Bunch of hypochondriacs.”

And even though I laughed along with her, I knew that she was lying. They were not overreacting. She was sick, refusing treatments, and letting herself die. Anyone would be worried about her. Na-Yeon must dislike being taken care of. Well, I thought she would need to get used to it. I loved spoiling others. 

“Eloise and the kids must be here,” She muttered to herself, pulling to a short driveway. 

I did not know who Eloise was, but I would soon find that out. There were two cars parked out front. One was a simple, black Tahoe with a brightly colored steering wheel cover. The other was another vintage model. Painted a pretty light, muted green the truck was in pristine condition. It was an old Ford, the branding written across the tailgate, and a spare tire was bolted to the side. I asked Na-Yeon about it and she smiled happily.

“It’s Jimin’s,” I felt my heart rate increase. “He must’ve gotten back. Pretty thing, huh?”

I nodded, not really paying attention to the truck anymore. I was about to meet Jimin for the first time and my nerves were taking over. I knew how much his looks affected me over video chat and I was afraid I would not be able to control my facial expressions in person. I was resolute not to act on whatever attraction I may have felt toward him. My professionalism would not allow it. It did not mean, however, that I wanted to discuss it with Jimin at any point. It would make him uncomfortable and affect our working environment. 

“Keep your bags in the car,” Na-Yeon told me. “Jimin’s going to take you over to meet the Andersons this afternoon.”

Walking up to the house, I was first struck by two things. The main one being the impressive teal it was painted and the other the loud talking and laughter coming from inside. It was odd. Thinking about my own parents I knew we had never been so happy. Mom had left when I was so young that I could hardly remember her, but I could recall the screaming and shouting. Dad was quiet after she left, spent most of his time locked away in the garage watching sports channels and leaving me to my own devices. 

When I started swimming it helped for a time, but when I was old enough to leave, we spoke two or three times a year. After he met Danielle, his new wife, he stopped reaching out altogether. The accident had spooked him enough to warrant holiday and birthday calls for a time, but when he had another baby those slowly faded away. My half-sister and I had never met, Danielle did not like acknowledging that my dad had a child with another woman, and it seemed as though my dad was fine with how things turned out. I dealt with it.

The laughing echoed through the house, and I could hear loud foot-steps pitter pattering on the tile floors. The house smelled heavily of kimchi and lemons making my heart ache. Joon and I used to keep the windows open for days after his mother came over to make kimchi with him. We would squat on the floor for hours, laughing and talking. I missed those days more than I realized and I smiled involuntarily. For the first time in years, it felt like coming home.

“Sorry about the smell,” Na-Yeon whispered to me. 

I shook my head and took my shoes off. “I love kimchi.”

She smiled brightly, her shoulders immediately relaxing. I was glad I had spent so much time with Namjoon and his family. Na-Yeon was someone who wanted to make others feel more comfortable even if it put her own peace at risk, but I would never ask her to change her routine for me. I loved learning about other people and her little house brought me more happiness than I thought possible. 

“Sounds like we have company!”

A short, stocky man came into the living room. He was wearing a white polo shirt and khaki shorts; his hair was very short with silver streaks starting to take over the once very black strands. Catching sight of me he smiled. 

“You must be Y/N,” The man said. “I’m James.”

His accent was much thicker than Na-Yeon’s and he introduced himself in his English name. He seemed much happier about it than his wife did, and I decided to go along with it. If he wanted me to call him James, then I would.

“Nice to meet you,” I replied, giving him a small bow.

His smile got even bigger somehow, and he returned the gesture. Na-Yeon chuckled beside me and started to speak to her husband in Korean. I picked up a few words and deduced that he was supposed to make sure I was going to get a nice lunch, and she wanted to know if he had taken care of it. He nodded and told her he had.

“Hungry?” James asked, Na-Yeon already disappearing into the house.

“Yes,” I quickly followed behind him.

“I made jjigae,” He frowned. “I can’t say it in English. Sorry.”

The house was small and warmly lit. Cream tile flooring, exposed wood beams, and white walls. Whatever loud conversation they had been having before I got here had died down, but the footsteps did not. I could hear children giggling somewhere in the little home and my curiosity peaked. I did not think they were Na-Yeon and James’s.

“I want to say it’s soup,” I kept my voice down not wanting to make him feel awkward. “Or stew, but I don’t think it matters that much.”

“What’s the difference?” James asked, just as amused as his wife at my vague knowledge of Korean words. “Soup and stew the same, no?”

I shrugged, “I have no clue. I’m a miserable cook.”

That made James laugh. We passed all of the rooms in the house, the kitchen, living room, and dining room all in the back of the house. As we passed the second room to the left, James said it had been Haru’s photography studio before he passed away, but they ended up converting it once Eloise gave birth. He did not say it out loud, but I had gathered the kids running around had been their youngest son’s. I did not know how old Haru had been when he died, but it was far too young to be having children. I was 31 and still felt ill equipped for the job. 

It was a small kitchen with very simple and plain colors. The countertops were obviously laminate, but someone had taken the time to stick on a marble patterning to make it look nicer. Black appliances clashed with the chestnut cabinets. The tiles were no longer cream but hideous black and white checker printed that clashed heavily against the olive-green backsplash. While the rest of the house seemed to go through renovations at some point, I had a feeling the kitchen remained largely untouched. 

Sitting at a small table on the other side of the room were Na-Yeon, Jimin, and a young woman. She was a cute girl, long brown hair and blue eyes, a large number of freckles across her cheeks. Her outfit was very modest, a pair of flowy cream pants and an equally flowy olive shirt. Her hair was tied back with a ribbon that matched her pants, and taking a closer look at her, she wore no makeup. A classic girl next door.

“Come sit,” Na-Yeon waved me over, her voice showing no room for argument. “Hyun-Soo is in charge of lunch.”

I was only briefly confused, the name completely unfamiliar, but by the time I sat down I was sure she was talking about James. It made sense for her to call him by his Korean name, and since I had shown no qualms about using their proper names, she saw no need to bring them up herself. 

“Nice to finally meet you,” Jimin’s sweet voice reached me, and I smiled at the sound. “I hope getting here wasn’t too bad.”

He reached out to me, and I happily took his hand in my own. The skin was soft, perfectly smooth, and warm. It was over far too quickly but my displeasure was easily hidden. Andrea always complained about my poker face and how difficult it was to get past it. She said it was too good and thus refused to ever play poker with me again. 

“It was nice,” I meant it. Na-Yeon was wonderful company. 

“Hope the concert was nice.”

That made me and Eloise laugh. Na-Yeon smacked Jimin’s arm playfully, unable to keep the smile off her face, and the two began to bicker. Having them in the same room highlighted the differences I hadn't noticed before. Jimin’s nose was closer to his father’s, his eyes, too, and both of them had a slight lisp. Na-Yeon’s teeth were perfectly white and straight while one of Jimin’s front teeth was slightly chipped. Jimin had a dimple; his mother had none. Their English soon turned to digs in Korean and I could no longer follow. A few words here and there but nothing substantial. James joined them.

“Hi,” Eloise shyly greeted me, obviously used to being left out of conversations.

“Hey,” I replied lamely. “Eloise?”

She nodded, “Cam and Harper are playing but you’ll meet them in a bit.”

I nodded along and cemented the names into memory. It would look bad if I forgot them and kids had an ability to remember the worst things about a person. I did not want them to dislike me this quickly. Their giggles and feet were still going, and I suspected they had their own rooms on top of the little playroom in the hall.

“What do you do for work?” I asked Eloise, hoping my attempts at small talk were going over well. The other three were still chatting and I stopped paying attention long enough to be completely lost. Their dialect was different from Namjoon’s family, and I gave up entirely once they switched in and out of it with ease. 

“I’m taking over Audrey’s restaurant,” Eloise, it seemed, preferred to use their American names. I wondered if she called Jimin ‘Christian.’ I really did not like the name for him. Not at all. “We used to be co-owners but she’s preparing for…” Eloise’s eyebrows scrunched together as she struggled to come up with a way to voice her thoughts, “her next steps. You know what I mean?”

I nodded. It was so easy to forget why I was really here when Na-Yeon was so full of life. She laughed and joked easily, sang off-key in the car without a care in the world, and called the shots at home. I had hardly noticed any sickness, but I knew better. I already figured out she hated being cared for and our trip in the car could have taken a lot of her. More than I realized.

Wanting to change the subject, I asked about the kids. Eloise was more than happy to talk about her little ones. Cameron and Harper were twins, names that she had originally been very against but when she lost Tony (Haru preferred his American name, Anthony, and all of his closest friends called him Tony), her opinions changed. Harper was the bigger, older baby, while her brother needed to stay in the NICU for a few days after birth due to his weight. They were joined at the hip and rarely seen without the other, something Eloise was happy about given she was usually too busy to spend as much time with them as she would have liked.

“How old are they?” I asked.

“Almost 4.”

Jimin was 19 then. I shuddered to think about how old Haru was, or Eloise for that matter when they became parents. When I was their age, I had been at the top of my game, though not what I would call my prime. If I had gotten pregnant my career would not have been over, but meeting Joon never would have happened. That was a travesty regardless of how things turned out. Trying to picture a life without him touching it made me physically ill and so I pushed any of those thoughts away.

Cam and Harper came out of their room when dinner was ready. They were both very cute, loud, and dressed identically. Harper’s hair was braided down her back while Cam’s was in a bowl cut, and I laughed every time the little girl made a big show about her sparkly red shoes.

James made a very spicy fish stew. It was delicious, so salty and hot, but I needed multiple glasses of water as I ate. He used red snapper adding a sweet, nutty flavor to the otherwise savory dish and I loved the zucchini. Like many Korean meals there was an array of side dishes surrounding the large pot of stew. Tonight was braised potatoes, steamed eggplant, a radish salad, and, of course, kimchi. A small bowl of rice was given to all of us to eat the stew with and the rice cooker was filled if any of us wanted more. 

The Parks were a lovely family. Jimin was quiet and did not talk to me much but his mother more than made up for his silence. After getting all of the details about my coaching job she moved on to my life back in Colorado. We talked about my friends and what they were like, my house, and even my neighbors. Na-Yeon seemed particularly interested in Hoseok since Jimin had been such a fan of his growing up. 

“You need to get her over to Calvin and Violet’s,” James told his son, scraping up the last bit of the soup out of his bowl. “They’re expecting her soon.”

Jimin looked at me, eyebrow raised, “Are you ready?”

I nodded, “We can leave whenever you’re done.”

He smiled and went back to eating his meal. Eloise left before I did, Cam was tired and Harper was bored without her playmate, so she decided it was time they went home. Cam liked an afternoon nap still, but his sister could run all day if you let her. Harper gave me a big bear hug before she left, something Na-Yeon said she did to everyone, and held her brother’s hand on their way out. 

Na-Yeon eventually got up from the table, James followed after her, leaving Jimin and I alone. I did not know what to say, if he wanted me to say anything at all. He had hardly spoken to me since I arrived, and it left me feeling out of place. I was here for him, and he wanted nothing to do with me. He kept eating, the spice unfazed him, and getting bowl after bowl of rice. 

Watching him walk around I was struck by how short he was. Most male swimmers were huge, well over 6 feet, and broadly built. Not Jimin. He could not be any taller than 5’9” with a thin, tiny waist. I could see defined muscles hidden underneath his white t-shirt, but nothing spectacular. Even his body was soft and elegant, moving gracefully and quietly, and absolutely none of it would give away that he was a world-class athlete. As if he could feel my eyes following him, Jimin’s eyes snapped to meet my own.

“Sorry,” He pulled his spoon from his mouth. “I’m sure you’d like to leave and here I am gorging myself.”

I stopped him before he could stand, “No, no. I’m fine. I was just thinking about your workout routine.”

The lie felt heavy on my tongue, but I could hear how natural it sounded. He sat back down and took another bite of his food. His workout regime was standard for most swimmers. Pull-ups, bench, squat, lunge, power cleans, power cleans to overhead press. After that he was in the pool for a few hours before going about his day. He usually added in another swim at the end of the day, but he had recently given it up to have dinner with his family. 

“What are you doing for your core?” I asked.

“I stick to pull ups, crunches, thrusts, and back extensions.”

I nodded, frowning, gears in my head turning. I have always believed the core was the most important part of swimming. Arms as well, but I have seen many overwork those muscles and lose from weak turns. Hoseok used to joke about my performance and how I only won because of my turns. I would make sure he would be able to see a little bit of me in Jimin’s swimming. There was a reason I won gold.

“You don’t look very impressed.”

I chuckled, “Just thinking. You need more variety than that.”

“Gym snob, are we?” His mouth stretched into a playful smirk, and I could not help but smile back. “You must be an animal in there.”

“I don’t work out like I used to,” I admitted, averting my eyes. “Most of my exercises are yoga and running now. I swim twice a week.”

I was hoping to get back in the pool more often, but I was not sure I was ready for the disappointment that would follow. My sessions with Emery were simple, exercise-focused, and had little to no expectations behind them. They were there to help me gain strength and confidence in myself. Saturdays were spent with Hoseok doing laps around the pool and shooting the shit. It was just enough to get your heart pumping but never went past that. 

Failing was daunting. I could not remember a time before swimming consumed my life. My dad always said I was afraid of the water; it was the biggest reason he placed me in lessons. He did not have the time (nor patience) to teach me himself, and after I saw younger children getting into the pool I was determined to act like a “big girl.” I was only three at the time, so the memory was lost to time, but I went every week after that. It gave my dad a break and I had friends for the first time. I learned later that mom had left for a few months and dad was drinking again, but at the time all I knew was that I liked swimming, and I was good at it.

It was frightening to believe that all of the time, energy, and hard work went to waste. 30 seconds. That was all it took to destroy my life. 30 seconds and all of my joy, love, and happiness was gone. My career, my health, and my Joon. I hated the man who hit us. Hated the way his family cried for me. For him. For Joon. Squeeze my hands into fists, I was glad they were hidden underneath the table. Getting in the water and realizing it was truly over would only make that hatred worsen, and my therapist told me I needed to let go of my anger.

“Violet and Calvin are excited to meet you,” I did not know if Jimin could see something in his face, perhaps my eyes, but he changed the subject. The look on his face made me feel exposed. “We should get going.”

No one was around when I left so I did not get to say goodbye, but Jimin yelled that we were leaving. We did not get a response and I wondered if his mother had actually gone to do laundry or take a nap. She looked tired when she left the table. Jimin told me to get into the truck and laughed when I said I could grab my own bags. 

“Your hip might give out, granny.”

Off guard, a strange, loud noise came out of my mouth. He had yet to start up our playful banter and my heart soared. Jimin was a very cheeky man, his tongue sharp, and with a quick snapback time, he was difficult to take down. Our text exchanges were always brief and about work, but he managed to squeeze in at least one teasing comment about my age. He said calling him ‘kiddo’ is what started the whole thing.

“Just get in the truck,” He sighed melodramatically, rolling his eyes.

Huffing, I went across the lawn and got into the unlocked truck on the curb. The interior was just as refurbished as the exterior. The bench was covered in a dark green vinyl, and I could tell the rubber carpet mats were new. It smelled much better in Jimin’s truck. Less like cigarettes and more like the cologne he wore. It was floral, powdery, but with a subtle spice that made it bitter-sweet. It had a nice scent. It suited a man like Jimin whose own spice was buried underneath his pretty visage. 

Watching him jog across the yard, I suppressed a sigh. It was easier to ignore how pretty he was when we were around other people. Now it felt impossible. His clothes stuck to him like a second skin, the black leather pants (which I had only just noticed were leather) making his thighs bulge and accentuating his backside. He was gorgeous and I felt sorry that I would have to keep it to myself. Jimin deserved to be told things like that, but it was not my place to do so. Not as a coach, trainer, or otherwise.

He tossed my things into the cab of the truck as if they weighed nothing. Arms lifted; his shirt rose revealing a delicious patch of skin. Watching him in the rearview mirror, I swallowed audibly. A thin, almost nonexistent patch of hair touched his belly button. Forcing myself to look away, I took a few deep breaths.

This trip was going to be long. Very, very long. 

The drive down the road was quiet. Jimin’s radio was out, and he needed to replace it, so music was not an option, and he did not seem to want to fill the space between us. Neither did I. My growing bashfulness around him was distracting and strange. I had always been surrounded by attractive men, all of my friends back home were very good looking, but none affected me in the same way Jimin had. Perhaps it was due to my relationship with Namjoon that made all of the other men pale in comparison, but I could never know for sure. Either way, it was incredibly frustrating.

We drove for less than ten minutes. Calvin and Violet were the elderly couple renting out the small house in their backyard. Jimin had spoken to them for me, and they were all too willing to help me out. Violet nearly cried when I told her I was going to pay all of my rent up front, and actually did when I told her that I would help her fix up some things around the house while I was in town. The Andersons seemed like lovely people, and I was happy to know them.

Pulling up to the house I smiled. It was exactly how I imagined it would be. The Anderson house was a simple, All-American home with a front porch. The window trimming was black, house white, and a beautiful garden wrapped around the front at either side. The roof and front door were the same color green as Jimin’s truck, and it helped the otherwise unnoteworthy home feel more inviting. Sitting on the porch swing was Violet, her silver hair braided down her shoulder.

“Before we get out,” Jimin mumbled, waving at Violet through my window. The old woman waved back, a large smile on her face making her look twenty years younger. “The Andersons are great people, but Calvin’s starting to forget stuff. Violet won’t admit it but it’s getting hard on her to deal with him. He can become very angry so keep an ear out. Last time he had an episode, Violet called my dad crying. She’s not handling it well.”

I frowned, my heart hurting, “Sure thing. I’ll let you know if anything happens.”

“Thanks.”

He was out of the car a few seconds later, voice so sweet and bubbly you would have never guessed what we had been talking about. Staring after him, my eyes squinted. I would have to keep my eye on him. Jimin was a great actor.

Getting out of the truck, I took out my bags and slung my duffle on my back. Jimin was quick to take my suitcase away once he caught me in the corner of his eye. Violet seemed positively giddy about it and made a few inappropriate comments about Jimin needing to settle down.

“I’m just saying,” She laughed when Jimin scoffed, face flushing the prettiest shade of pink. “You’re going to make a young woman very happy. Might as well get started.”

It was strange to think about my trainee seeing someone. He had made it very clear in his interviews over the years that his dating life was on hold until he was finished swimming. He did not want the added distraction and his family life was far too chaotic for him to focus on someone. This did not seem to deter Violet and her comments about his love life, or lack thereof, continued until we got inside of the house.

“Well,” Violet acknowledged me for the first time since I arrived, “This is the main house. It’s not much but it’ll work. Christian, take her stuff out back.”

I cringed. It really did not suit Jimin at all, but he seemed completely unfazed. Violet used his names interchangeably, sometimes calling him Jimin and other times Christian, but his English name rolled off her tongue more often than not. I wondered why she even bothered calling him Jimin at all. He did not seem to care either way.

Looking around the little house, I was pleasantly surprised by how clean it all was. The floors were carpeted and the walls a bright white, family photos hung up alongside landscape paintings. During my two-hour phone call with Violet, the woman talked my ear off, she bragged about Calvin’s art. I had to admit they were all very beautiful and I wanted to know where he had found all of the slices of heaven he captured. I hoped the places themselves were more colorful than he depicted. The muted washes of color made them blend in with the rest of the boring house even with how nice they were.

The furniture was just as boring as the house itself. All of it was cream or beige, nothing of importance really stuck out to me, and I was disappointed. All I could figure out about the couple was one was an artist and they had children and grandchildren they loved displaying. Even the smell of the house lacked character. No air freshener, no food, and no perfumes. Nothing to give away that people actually lived here. The Anderson home was a foil to the Park’s in every way.

“Come on out back,” Violet was already across the house, standing in front of a door beside the kitchen. “This is the utility room. You can do your laundry here.”

Following behind her, I felt even more depressed looking at her kitchen. It was nice, new appliances and a pretty coffee station on the corner closest to the utility room door, but it was bland. All white cabinets, white marble countertops, and stainless steel everything. Even the curtains hanging around the windows above the sink were dreadfully plain.

The utility room, like everything else, was plain. The washer and dryer were white, the floor concrete, and the shelving barebones. The detergent was the most colorful thing I saw since arriving. Somehow even this room smelled like absolutely nothing. Directly across from the door we entered was the backdoor and Violet told me where they would hide a key for me to be able to get inside.

“Ready to see it?” She asked, smiling politely. 

I nodded, “Thanks again for renting it out to me.”

She chuckled, “No thanks needed. You were paying, that was enough for me to say yes.”

The back porch was tiny, just barely big enough for the both of us to stand on. There was a small vegetable garden along the side of the house, but it was empty. Noticing my wandering eyes, Violet told me all about the turnips and gourds she had been planting this season. She had watermelon and tomatoes in the summer, but they were long gone. The rest of the yard was taken up by my home for the next few months.

It was small, but that was to be expected. What disappointed me, though I should have not been very surprised, was how white it was. The windows were a dark gray, a small porch was set up with enough room for one of those hanging egg chairs, and two built-in planters. They were empty and Violet told me I was welcome to give gardening a chance if I was interested. She was planning on growing some flowers eventually, but she was not sure what she wanted.

The front door was open, Jimin already inside, and Violet and I went in. There was a small entryway, two doors leading to rooms I would explore later, and a small shoe rack. I took mine off and put them up. Violet watched me and took hers off as well.

“Audrey told me I should put one in here,” I was learning that Violet enjoyed meaningless small talk. “Glad I did. Don’t think Christian took his shoes off, though.”

I shrugged, “No biggie. I was going to clean up around here anyway.”

The house opened up to my right and I was happy with the space. I had a fully functional kitchen and enough space for my coffee cabinet along the wall. The living room would be able to fit a small loveseat, television, and coffee table. It was white and plain, but I was very happy with the floors. Whoever picked out the dark vinyl flooring must have had me in mind. I would go crazy if this place was as sterile as the Andersons’.

“I put your stuff in your room.”

Turning I grinned at Jimin. It was sweet of him to help me out. I was going to pick up my car tomorrow morning and he had volunteered to drive me. We would be starting our training next week so I could have some time to settle in. All of my furniture was arriving either tomorrow or the day after and my hands would be full. I was counting on Jimin and his friends to help me unpack. His manager was going to make himself known as well, but would not be staying for long. Apparently, according to Jimin, Sejin was not one to get his hands dirty.

“Thank you.”

“I’ll let you get settled in,” Violet was already scratching to leave, and I wondered why. She had been very hospitable over the phone. “You’re welcome to join us for dinner. Calvin is going to bring the air mattress out here tonight, so you have someplace to sleep.”

With a kiss on Jimin’s cheek, Violet slipped on her flats and left. Alone with Jimin again, I found it hard to speak. We were much better over text. Looking just as lost as I was, Jimin scratched the back of his neck and looked down. 

“My, uh, my mom offered you her couch if you want it,” He stuttered, his face turning red. “Or, uh, um, you can take the spare room at my place,” He let out a huge gust of wind. “It’s a bit of a drive but I do have the space.”

Flustered, I quickly declined, “Thanks but I’ll be fine here.”

“Oh, yeah,” Jimin shook his head, the redness spreading down his neck. “For sure. Totally.”

The air was awkward now and I could not figure out how to fix it. Jimin was the one always breaking the ice between us, and now that he was acting like this I was stranded at sea. Even when he warned me he was more reserved in person I had not expected this. He was so quiet and skittish. How was I supposed to work with him if I could not get the courage to speak?

“Thanks for the offer,” I cleared my throat. “Are you staying for dinner?”

He shook his head, “I promised Jungkook we’d go out tonight. Any other time I’d say yes.”

I asked my disappointment. The thought of spending time with Violet and Calvin alone made me deeply uncomfortable. Their house felt like a hospital room and her weird behavior was unsettling. I could only hope Calvin was nicer but from what Jimin said he was a ticking time bomb. It would be nice to have someone act as a buffer.

“Why was she acting so strangely?” I asked, hoping Jimin had picked up on it as well. “It was like a totally different person.”

He frowned, “I think she’s just on edge since Calvin went to the doctor’s today. Their daughter took him, and she hasn’t heard anything. She’s a sweet woman, don’t worry.”

Now I felt like an asshole.

“That’s understandable,” I murmured. “Do you think she’ll be upset if I order food for all of us? If she’s stressed out, I don’t want her feeling like she has to cook for me.”

Jimin smiled, “She would appreciate it. I’ll go talk to her, how does that sound?”

I nodded, grateful. “That would be nice. The house gives me the creeps.”

That made him laugh, “What? Why?”

I shrugged, giggling with him. 

“Feels like a funeral home or something. I hate the minimalist aesthetic.”

Jimin bit his lip, “You’d probably hate my place, too, then.”

I chuckled. It was easy to imagine Jimin inside of a huge modern house, dark wood and barely anything in it. He was a single man, busy, and spent so much time at his parent’s house it did not matter what he had inside of his own place. Not wanting to make him self conscious, I bit my tongue. 

“I’m sure it’s not that bad.”

He cocked his head to the side, and I laughed.

“Fine,” I conceded. “I would probably dislike it, but I don’t think it looks like a white padded cell.”

I may have been exaggerating a bit, but it was not that far off from how the Anderson home looked to me. I hoped by asking me to help fix up a few things, Violet meant giving the house a much-needed makeover. If I was lucky, I might be able to convince her to get a few throw pillows to break up the monotony.

“Jeez,” Jimin laughed. “Harsh critic.”

“Well, is it?” I joked, glad to have found our footing again.

“No,” He shook his head in thought. “It’s mostly gray and black, but still just as empty. Probably emptier, honestly. I don’t have as many pictures as Violet does.”

Smirking, he snapped his fingers, “My trophy room is pretty colorful. I have a lot of pictures and shit in there.”

That made me smile. I was not bringing any of my memorabilia here, but it was nice to hear him sound so proud of himself. I kept most of my competition stuff in my basement, a large China cabinet displaying all of my awards. My favorite had to be the small, cheaply made trophy sat at the very top. It was beside my Olympic medals, worn and dull beside the beautiful necklaces, but I loved it all the same. 

It was the first trophy I ever won. I was seven and my dad convinced me to sign up for a swimming competition my swim class was hosting. He promised to come. I practiced a lot preparing for it and made use of the new above ground pool my dad had bought. I won the race. My own joy and happiness made me forget that he never showed up until it was time to go home. I had to wait with my coach for two hours, and by the end of it she felt so bad for me she took me out for ice cream. Dad never apologized, I don’t even think he acknowledged that I won at all, and I never tried to bring it up again. Still, I loved that stupid thing. It was the reason I wanted to compete. That little pocket of happiness between winning and realizing that no one cared was precious to me and I held onto it. 

“I need to get going,” Jimin sighed, reaching into his back pocket and snapping me out of my thoughts. “Jungkook’s blowing up my phone. Just got broken up with and needs a drinking buddy.”

I sucked in air through my teeth, “Well, your services are needed. Don’t let me hold you up.”

Jimin smiled at me, “See you tomorrow, yeah?”

I nodded, “See you.”

He lingered in the entryway for a moment more before shaking out of whatever trance he had been in. Slipping his converse back on, Jimin waved at me before walking outside. His face was buried in his phone, so he never saw me wave back. He shut the door, the sound echoing in the empty house, and I was once again left alone.

Violet came out a few minutes later to discuss take out until we finally landed on pizza. She never said thank you, but her offer to give the tip since I was paying was more than enough. Then later when a few of my boxes came in early she happily carried them to me. She even helped me put everything away. When Calvin came home, she led me back inside and said with so much affection it made my heart melt.

"Calvin, this is Y/N. Sweetest woman I ever did meet. Bought us dinner."

Calvin reminded me of Namjoon in a way. His soft eyes and gentle voice. He took my hand when I introduced myself, his hands cold and soft. Wrinkles and sunspots went up the length of his arms.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," He said.

"Likewise," I replied.

We ate in silence, the three of us watching Jeopardy on the sofa. Even though I had been nervous about eating inside, Calvin's presence warmed the place up. Once a prison now felt like a poorly decorated home. A home filled with love.

As I watched them together, Calvin reaching out for Violet's hand and her giving it to him without question, I felt myself getting choked up. There had been a time I had that. Joon would be on the floor, book in his lap, while my hands were in his hair as I studied my training tapes.

I left early that night. I blew up the mattress, the house quiet, before sending out a few texts to my friends to let them know I was getting on alright. After that, I put on nature sounds to help me drift off to sleep. I had not felt this lonely in a very long time.

Taglist: @ownthesunshine @screamertannie @lovelytaes-blog @pernesianparapio

© chimcess, 2024. Do not copy or repost without permission.

[reiderwriter]

🍷 Alcohol Free 🍷

Week 1 of my Playlist series! Inspired by Alcohol Free by TWICE.

Summary: You're the designated driver for half of your friends, and Spencer is the designated driver for the other half, so why do you feel so buzzed when you're around him? OR; taking every opportunity when you finally meet Spencer Reid for the first time ♡

Warnings: fluff, mentions of alcohol consumption, but reader and Spencer are both sober. A/N: Welcome to week 1 of the Playlist! I think we started with an absolute banger, and for such a fun, upbeat song with this, I had to make this a fluff (sorry to all my smut and angst enjoyed, please be patient 🫡). I hope you enjoy it! Don't forget to send me more song recs, as I'll be writing one follower chosen song fic per month 🥳

Check out my masterlist here~

“How much have you had to drink exactly, Pen?” You laugh as you watch her wobble back and forth, at her table.

“We started with champagne and wine. And then there was the cocktail round, so, a few margaritas here and there. And a mojito. Maybe a mimosa. I think a guy bought me a pint colada at the bar earlier,” her words were so sharp you almost couldn't believe she'd drank anything at all, but the fact that she said all this while swaying gently from side to side had you giggling at her antics.

“Don't forget the tequila!” Penelope's friend Emily groaned from the other side of the table then were gathered at, face already flat on the surface as if her hangover had already hit.

You'd been friends with Penelope for over a year now, so you were acquainted with all of the girls there, and had agreed to come and meet them on one of their girls nights out. You were never a big drinker though, so you offered to be the designated driver for the half of the gang that were committed to Uber-ing home.

They'd been drinking since the mid afternoon, and by the time you'd gotten off work and cleaned up for the bar, it was obvious that they were going to be a handful.

“Y/N, YOU'RE REALLY PRETTY, YOU KNOW THAT RIGHT?” JJ shouted from her seat beside you.

“Thank you, JJ, you already said that three times tonight. Maybe we should get you some water?”

“And so kind too, my princess in shining armour,” Penelope giggled.

For most people, being the only sober person on a night out was hell, but you found yourself enjoying it more and more as the years went by. Drunk women were so much like kindergarteners when they reaches a certain blood alcohol level, and you loved seeing what your usually serious and cool girlfriends would come up with.

You also wanted to make sure they stayed safe, and with the impressive list of multiple alcohols they'd just ingested, you wondered if you should be carting them off to the emergency room then and there.

“I THINK YOU'D LIKE MY FRIEND SPENCER. HE'S NERDY. YOU'D MAKE CUTE BABIES.” JJ was still shouting all of her words, despite the bar being relatively quiet and you almost did a spit take with your water as she kept on.

“Stop trying to marry Spence off, Jennifer.” Penelope giggled, over pronouncing JJ's name as if it were her first time ever using the word.

You'd heard a lot about this Spencer Reid since you'd become close with the girls at the table, and honestly, you were happy that JJ deemed you good enough for their Spencer.

From the sounds of it, all three of them nagged at him like elder sisters who found him endearingly annoying, and were fiercely protective of him. It made you curious.

“Are you seeing anyone, Y/N?” Emily asked, finally lifting her head up slightly, but in a way that made it look like it weighed 500 lbs more than usual.

“I'm not.”

“Why? You're smoking. Half the men in here have been circling your like sharks for the hour you've been here.” You laughed at that and pushed a bottle of water in Emily's direction again, encouraging her to take small sips of water.

“I'm being serious! I may be drunk beyond belief but this is a sober thought.”

“Emily, I love you, but none of these men are interested in me. I'm practically a spinster. I'm 27, I have no money and no prospects, yada yada, already a burden to my parents.”

“That was something nerdy, I know that was something nerdy, my Spencie Senses are tingling,” she quipped.

And as if right on cue, a quiet voice popped up from behind you and all the hairs on your neck stood on edge as it happened.

“It's a quote from the 2005 Pride and Prejudice movie, so it's not really all that nerdy, Emily.” You turned, slightly startled in your seat as you finally met the elusive Doctor Spencer Reid.

“SPENCE!” JJ cheered, and the other girls similarly whooped at his entrance. They were overjoyed, but you were slightly overwhelmed, because not once in their descriptions of Spencer Reid had they ever told you that he was quite possibly one of the hottest men to ever grace this good Earth.

His hair was slightly curly, a mess of waves flopping into his eyes, but shorter on the sides, highlighting his sculpted jaw. He was tall, on the lean side and craning your neck to look up at him was a happy experience to say the least.

He greeted his friends and looked down to you, and you felt all the blood suddenly rush to your brain when your eyes locked. Dear God.

“Spencer, this is Y/N, my wonderful, gorgeous, single and attractive friend. Say hello, Spencer.”

“Hello,” he gladly followed the instructions Penelope gave him, and you practically giggled at the sound of his voice. Giggled.

“Hello. I'm the wonderful, gorgeous, attractive Y/N,” you waved at him slightly, but your brain wouldn't stop thumping around as you enjoyed the sight of the man.

“Penelope actually told me about you before. You're working at the indie bookstore near Café Density, right? Castle Books? I got a first edition of T.S. Eliot’s Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats there a few months ago.”

“You!” You gasped the word, as a garage of words fell from your mouth in a stream. “You bastard, I was saving for months to buy that thing, and three days before my paycheck I turn up and it was gone! Oh my god, how does it smell? Are the pages mustard yellow or still A little white? They never let me touch it because I almost burst into tears every time I got close.”

To your astonishment, he didn't recoil from your spitfire speech, but laughed happily.

“It's great, the illustrations are amazing. I didn't know someone else had their eye on it when I went in, I'm sorry.”

“Don't apologise for finding treasure. You'd be a horrible pirate if you did that.” You brain really wasn't connected with your mouth anymore and you resisted the urge to turn and bolt away from the discussion.

“Thank you? I'm not a pirate, but I think that was a compliment.”

“See, nerds made in heaven, JJ was right.” The panic built up again slightly and you were sure your brain was going to explode with all the heat that was flooding to your face.

“What's JJ right about?” Reid inquired, and you almost grasped your chest to stop your heart from beating out of it when he cocked his head to the side.

You hadn't had a lick of alcohol the entire night, and yet you're entire body was reacting like it was drunk on Spencer Reid.

“Oh just that you and Y/N here would make beautiful-”

“BEAUTIFUL CONVERSATIONS HAPPEN.” You quickly cut Penelope off, sending her a warning look that was less subtle than just straight up telling her to shut her mouth.

“Can we go now?” Emily dropped her head to the table again as she threw out the words, looking suddenly three shades greener than she was a moment before. “I think that last shot was the drink that broke the camel's liver, and I'm the camel.”

You passed her the water again and slowly started to help your friends gently gather their things, noticing that Spencer was doing the same.

No wonder these girls were so protective of him if this is how well he treats them. He was their coworker, but he would have absolutely been confused for a filial son for any of the three women as he helped them each.

“Where do you live, Y/N?” He asked casually as you both helped the women out of the bar and into the fresh air. “My car is a bit small, but we can throw these three in the back together and they'll mostly sleep until they get back to their homes.”

“Oh no, you don't have to do that, I can go by myself-”

“I can't let a drunk woman go home by herself, Penelope would give me hell in the morning.” This earned a few giggles from the women beside you. You thought you heard Emily mumbling “some profiler he is,” under her breath as well.

You hesitated. You should've been explaining that you hadn't had anything to drink yet, that you actually drove here yourself and that your car was likely parked right by his. You should've offered to take at least one woman off his hands for the night to share the burden of making sure your friends didn't die.

But it was true that each of the women was likely to completely pass out when they got into the car, like newborns being rocked to sleep by their mothers. And that left Spencer Reid free for conversation.

“Thank you, that would be really nice, actually,” you smiled and followed the man to his car, lugging your wonderfully buzzed friends behind you.

[simpxxstan]

hi i would like to req cheol x fem!reader with the song you are in love by taylor swift. thank you!

congrats on 500 followers btw 🫶🏼

this is part of my 550 followers celebration event (closed now)!

thank you for this request, really hoping you like it! i'm not a swiftie so i was unsure of how to interpret the song prompt. hope i did it justice! posting very very late, thank you for being patient for so long <3 happy bday month to cheollie!!! i love him so much and this couple too. i think i might write a few more drabbles for them later lol

genre: coworkers to lovers, friends to lovers, fluff

word count: 3.3k words

warnings: reader is fwb with an oc (not seungcheol).

"you are in love!" your best friend says. "yeah, i know." you sigh, "that's why i've been ranting for so-" "no, silly! not with jay. you're in love with seungcheol!" you had laughed off her words, wondering if she'd become tipsy way too fast into your girls' night.

but when you're lying in your bed later that night, the thought lingers in your mind- the alcohol clearing up and making you progressively more sober as the cold air from the open window hits you, while your friend snores soundly next to you.

"think about it." "i am thinking ab-" "no, you've never really thought about this before. think about it clearly." you'd laughed heartily at her faux-wisdom, which always appeared after finishing two cans of beer.

but she's right. you have actually never thought about this. you've been so obsessed with getting jay to like you that you've never really given a second thought about seungcheol... and what he really means to you now.

"i'd expect more from a stats major and a data analyst, honestly. aren't you supposed to be logical and rigorous-" you slap her arm while doubling over with laughter, knowing full well that she's imitating the words of an infamous professor in your college. "i am being logical. we're just coworkers."

were you?

now that you think about it, certainly not. you're more than coworkers. more like friends. more like best friends. in fact, he's the closest friend you've made since your days in college. just coworkers don't buy each other their favourite drinks when the other has a bad day. just coworkers don't hang out for hours after work nearly every other day. just coworkers don't invite each other to parties with their separate friend groups. just coworkers don't have inside jokes that prevent you from forming friends with anyone else in the office.

your mind travels back to last thursday, when seungcheol had saved your ass for the nineteenth time this year when you'd arrived late by preventing the boss from noticing.

and the thursday before that, when seungcheol had dropped you home after he'd found out that jay had made you cry during an argument in the break room just before work got over.

and the thursday before that, when you'd gone with seungcheol to taste the menu at three different banquets because he was busy planning the wedding of his best friend, joshua, and needed an unbiased taster.

did just coworkers know everything about each other? including his dentist appointment's dates, the last time you went grocery shopping, the last time he went to watch a movie, the vitamin supplements you eat after breakfast, and so much more.

you smile in the darkness. no, you and seungcheol could never be just coworkers. you're best friends, nothing less of that.

but love?

ah, no. you'll bet your life on this one. you've been in love before. and what you feel for seungcheol is nothing like it.

_

your heart hammers in your chest as you ring the doorbell again, the weight of the melting cake heavy in your hand. you distinctly remember jay telling you that he'd be home tonight, then why wasn't he responding to his calls nor opening his door?

you're answered about twenty minutes later. you're sitting on the stairs in front of his flat when you hear him walking up the stairs... and there's someone else's voice too. a female voice.

"y/n?"

words get caught in your throat when you see mina, the new intern fresh out of a college, walking right beside him, arm looped in his, a hickey prominent on her neck, freshly bruised.

"why are you here?" she asks you, and you wince.

"i wanted to surprise you... for your birthday! sorry, i- i didn't know you had plans."

jay smiles as he looks at mina next to him, and pulls her closer. "no, mina actually surprised me too. and we went out dancing. sorry, have you been waiting for long? you should've call-"

"i did."

jay pulls out his phone and checks it. "oh shucks. you've been calling for the last twenty minutes," he takes a step forward and leans in to kiss your cheek, lightly. "you can join us for dinner? i'm sure mina won't mind." mina definitely minds, because she looks like she's going to shoot you down in a matter of seconds.

"nah, i'll just leave. happy birthday though. i can see you had a good one." would you be petty if you didn't give him the cake?

"sorry for making you wait for so long, y/n-ah."

one year and four months.

"no worries, man. enjoy your night. bye mina!" and you smile, like the stupid people-pleaser you are. at least you brought the cake with you.

_

"what's up?" seungcheol opens the door and you smell the heavenly aroma of fried noodles from his kitchen greet you.

"thank you for opening the door."

seungcheol raises an eyebrow at you. "why would i not open the door? you're literally-"

"yeah no, that's cause jay didn't. he went out with mina, it turns out." you stuff the cake into his fridge and stand next to him where he's cooking in a wok.

"mina? intern mina?"

"yeah. they made out too... so i'm guessing it wasn't friendly."

seungcheol scoffs. "mina joined, like, last week."

"two weeks."

"he switched you up for her although he's been with you for a year and a half."

"she's twenty-two, cheol. i'm pushing thirty. i'm not sexy anymore." you bite your lip as you look at the word puzzle in the newspaper on the coffee table. seungcheol doesn't reply immediately, so your heart sinks a little further. even if he doesn't subjectively find you sexy, he could just say it to console you. well, but it's a stretch to even expect that from-

"you're the sexiest woman i've ever met." seungcheol says, his voice softer, as he plops down next to you, holding two bowls filled with the fried noodles. he begins to eat wordlessly, legs propped up on the coffee table, almost inhaling the food. if you move your leg a little, your bodies would touch.

you don't reply. you can't reply. you start eating the food too, relishing the flavours in silence.

"want some more? there's more egg bits towards the bottom, i know you-"

"it doesn't matter if you think i'm the sexiest woman. clearly he doesn't."

"is jay the only person whose opinion matters?"

"are you really asking me that?"

"what i am asking you is that you've wasted one year and a half pining over a man who doesn't care for anything more than sex, and you still hope he's worth your time?"

your breath stutters. seungcheol's staring at you, and you feel shameful and self-conscious suddenly. all the fire and rage from your earlier comments dissipate and you sigh.

"you think i don't have a chance at all?"

"jay is an asshole, y/n. i think that you shouldn't care about him at all. but that's just what i think. my opinion doesn't ma-"

"shut the fuck up," you extend a hand to grab his wrist and make him look at you again.

seungcheol does look at you again but doesn't say anything.

"my best friend says i like you."

seungcheol's fork clatters in his bowl and you both turn to look at each other.

you have no idea why you say that. sure, it's been on your mind all day, all evening, and suddenly you feel like you're on your toes around him through the day. even when you two sat together at work, you'd become oddly conscious of his presence in your periphery, which has never occurred to you before.

"do you?"

and you have no idea why he says it either. in all the million possible options of things he could've said right now, you'd never imagined him asking this to you right on your face.

so you have nothing to say, except a very shaky, a very feeble, "i don't know."

_

the next day, two things happen.

first, seungcheol isn't talking to you. well, he is talking. but not properly. talking like could you press the elevator button or do you want some grapes or did you read the mail.

second, jay's talking to you a lot. he follows you into the break room and apologises again for standing you up on his birthday night.

"it's okay really. i hope you had a wonderful time with mina." you don't make eye contact, not really interested in listening to his whining, instead more focused on making the espresso you know that seungcheol craves during the afternoon.

"i... just wanted to clarify. there's nothing between us, you know. nothing going on." "you don't have to clarify that to me-" "i know. but still. wanted to know if it's all good between us." you push your tongue into your cheek to stop a curse from coming out. finally you pick up the two mugs of coffee and face him. "yes jay, all's good." jay smiles widely. "so are we on for the annual company dinner for this weekend?"

shit. you'd forgotten about that.

"umm-"

"but we go every year!" and jay throws you those puppy eyes that bring out the wrinkles next to his eyes that were the first reason you'd fallen for him.

it, surprisingly, doesn't make you feel weak in the knees.

"i'll confirm by tonight, okay? gotta go."

you head straight to seungcheol's desk and put down the cup of coffee on his desk, making him look up from his desktop.

"do you have a plus one for the company dinner?"

his eyes widen, and he responds after a moment's pause. "no. but-"

"will you come with me?"

"what?"

"will you be my plus one?"

"but you're going with jay?"

"who told you that?"

"you did, genius. that's all you could talk about on monday."

you cringe internally. you don't even know why you do that- talking so much about jay, thinking so much about jay, just... caring so much for him. is it a parasocial thing? like people crush on their celebrities and make imaginary daydreams about taking care of their crushes? because jay certainly hasn't recicprocated even a tenth of your affection.

or maybe it's because of the sex. it is natural for friends with benefits to end up liking each other. well, in your case, liking the other without the other liking you. perhaps it's the physical intimacy. perhaps it's the consolation that you may be pushing thirty but you're still attractive enough to be on the market. perhaps it's the attention he gives you during your hookups. and perhaps it's the lack of attention from anyon-

wait.

you don't have a lack of attention. you have friends.

so it's not the attention bit.

is it specifically male attention?

but seungcheol is male. and he gives you a lot of attention, but only as a friend. you may be the sexiest woman he's ever met but he would never hook up with you. he's way out of your league.

"i don't want to go with jay." you finally respond back, clicking your tongue.

"huh? isn't that like your dream?"

"seungcheol. don't push it."

"i'm the one pushing it? i tell you not to like him, and you're mad at me. i tell you to like him, and you're still mad at me. what am i supposed to say, y/n?" and he pouts. fucking pouts at you like a little boy who's not allowed to eat sweets, and your heart breaks into a million pieces. you know he's not even trying to fake his cuteness (like jay does sometimes) and yet there's something so adorable about him right now that makes you want to-

fuck.

"just answer me, cheol. please. yes or no?"

"when have i ever said no to you?"

your mouth twists as you nod. he hasn't. ever said no to you.

"i'll tell jay i'll be going with you then."

you turn around to walk away, but seungcheol pulls you back, grabbing your wrist and pulling you up close to his chest so that you have to tilt your head up to talk to him. "what?"

"is this some let's make jay jealous mission?"

"what?!" your eyes go wide and you scoff.

"of course NOT. what do you think i am? i'm not that desperate."

seungcheol sighs.

"whatever you say, darling."

_

seungcheol looks as good as ever when he comes around to pick you up and drive you to the company dinner that weekend.

"red suits you," he says, taking in the dress you've brought out from your mother's closet specially for this event. this dress is made to impress. it's the dress your mom wore at the party where she met your dad for the first time, and you've heard from dad countless times how enchanting she looked in the dress. you're hoping you'll do the dress half the justice, but clearly you haven't inherited your mother's body proportions, so it doesn't look as good as it did on her. and yet, the plunging sweetheart neckline allows you to wear pretty accessories that you hardly get to wear to work. it is really a dress to impress. somehow, something inside you wants to impress.... someone. and for some reason, you don't think it's jay.

the car ride is silent. it's extremely uncomfortable because you don't remember the last time you spent ten minutes in the same space as seungcheol without talking to him. you knew you shouldn't have raised the my friend thinks i like you shit. but you've raised it and now you can't go back. his question still lingers in your mind, and it feels like a challenge.

do you like him?

when you look at him in the moonlight, his jawline is shaved clean and his hair is slicked off his forehead. it's not like you've never realised before this how handsome seungcheol is. in fact, it was the one of the first things you'd noticed about him. he's got an aura about him that's so attractive from the outside. but as you grew closer to him, the attraction somewhat wore off into a casual comfort... where you can exist in the same space with him without double taking at his beautiful smile or wondering why his dimples are so cute.

but that's not to say that his appeal is lost on you.

under the moonlight, he looks godly.

''i heard jay's going with mina." he finally tells you when he parks into the parking lot.

"good for them." he looks at you and cocks an eyebrow, and you shrug.

you're about to open the door and step out, but he quickly grabs your hand across the car, and pulls you inside.

"umm. y/n, i don't know what you're doing. but i- whatever i said that day- look, i don't like jay because i think he's rude to you? but apart from that i'm sure he's a great guy and you should like him if you want to. and i have no right to say anything about it-"

"what?" you're so confused by his little monologue.

"sorry i'm saying this poorly. what i mean is, please don't let what i said that night make you avoid jay or anything."

"this isn't about that."

"it's not?" he tilts his head in query.

"no. this isn't about how i feel about jay."

"it's not?" he asks you again, his face more confused. you're tempted to smile at the cute confusion on his features, but you know it'll make him mad for spoiling this serious moment.

"this is about how i feel about you."

_

seungcheol does not utter any more words to you after that. there's still a very prominent confusion on his face, but he masks it well with his natural charm.

but you're not confused at all for once. everything seems to become clear to you with 100% HD clarity. for some reason, it all makes sense now. why your best friend thinks you're in love with seungcheol.

because you've never been in love before.

you've always fallen for the toxic type of person, like jay. relationships that are more about hookups and drunken fights than emotional bonds and care. and your past experience has made you feel that love is nothing smooth. it's always been a rocky path for you. push and pull, where you're both pushed around and pulled to meet to other's conveniences.

but being with seungcheol is so... different.

there's no loneliness. no push and pull, no compromise. only laughter and memories. he makes you smile you more than any of your love interests have made you smile. he makes you laugh ever so often. he takes care of you when you're sick. he cooks for you whenever he comes over because you can't cook to save your life. he wrote you a birthday card. he bought matching t-shirts from a thrift store because you both happened to like the design. right now, when you see the way he's talking to another colleague, his pretty lips articulating every word clearly, your heart warms with fondness. a stray hair sticks out, and you fix it back. he doesn't notice. or he pretends not to. when jay comes around within your periphery, he pulls you closer, and you can't help but smile again. something about everything he does is so endearing.

it's not a eureka moment.

and yet, it feels good to feel love for real for the first time of your life. you can die tonight happily, knowing you're capable of real love. because you know you do love seungcheol. for all his pouty tantrums and all his whining complaints, you love him the most in the world right now, and you simply cannot imagine choosing a life without him.

"do you want to dance?"

seungcheol's been deliberately avoiding eye contact, but now he looks at you like a deer caught in the headlights.

"no."

you giggle at the sudden reply. "why?" his frown deepens, and you tug at his lips with your fingers. "you don't look good when you frown." "it doesn't matter." "it does." "no one's looking at me." "no one's looking at me either." "shut up. jay's boring holes into your dress with the way he's ogling you." seungcheol's face flares up, and you're mildly amused. "and what about the boy i want to ogle?" "huh?" "you. you're so handsome, cheol." his eyes unfocus from jay and back at you, his eyes wide and lips slightly parted.

"what are you doing, y/n? why are you playing with my heart?"

"i'm not, though? i'm just telling you how i feel."

"and how's that?"

"i feel like dancing with you under the moonlight. i feel like going on a long drive with you. i feel like hugging you on the warmth of your couch until we fall asleep. i've never done these things, seungcheol, will you come with me?"

"never danced? fuck, you're not being treated right."

and he shows you. he takes you to the centre of the hall area, where the roof's glass so that it's slightly isolated from the result of the expanse, and the moonlight's shining in like a spotlight. there are only a few people dancing there, mostly couples. but seungcheol and you dance at the very centre, lost in each other's eyes, forgetting that this is a public place. it doesn't matter. nothing does. except him.

you are in love, your best friend's voice floats into your mind. and you smile as you look into seungcheol's eyes, realising she was right all along.

so you tell him.

"i love you, cheol."

seungcheol stutters in his step for a second. but it doesn't matter. your pace was anyway too slow. he pulls you closer against his chest, and cups your cheek with one hand. "what's that?"

"i told you this night's about you. and i've realised it now. i am in love."

and when seungcheol kisses you later that night, you're downright thankful you've finally realised your feelings. because how did you ever think you'd survive without his cherry kisses?

[worldofkuro]

Painted Smile

Painted Smile XXXII

<- Previous Chapter I Next Chapter ->

Summary: You couldn't wait to meet new friends. What you didn't expect was this smiling little boy, only one year older than you, that would take such a big place in your life.

Notes: Aah… Alastor's point of view. 20k words my dear readers! Oh, how I hope you will enjoy it. This might be very disturbing for some of you, but well... We are talking about Alastor, right? Do give me your thoughts. TW: Gore, cannibalism, smut, death, gore, Alastor's mind.

Alastor stood up from his chair with so much strength his seat fell behind him. He passed his hand through his hair, his mind running miles by seconds. He knew what he saw, he was sure of it and yet it couldn’t be possible. When you were in that state, no one could see you. He was the only one… So why?

Now wasn’t the time to think, but to act. He sended his shadow toward you, he didn’t care if Alice and Alyzée were in danger, he had other priorities.  You would always be the first person he thought about. He sended his shadow toward you and sat back on his chair once he calmed himself. 

He took a deep breath, sitting on his chair, his face in his hands. He could feel his shadow toward you after a few minutes. That made his body relax, you were fine, you were in your home, away from any danger. He inhaled strongly before leaning on his chair, sighing. He knew you by heart. He was sure you were going to ask his shadow or yours to check on Alice and Alyzée…

He called Victor in his office and asked him to bring him Alice and Alyzée. Victor seemed confused but he couldn’t say no to him. The boy was respecting so much, he didn’t dare say no. Alastor gave Victor the information to find  where Alice and Alyzée were and then he waited patiently.

His plan was simple. Bringing the two women to him to make sure you wouldn't use your power again until he was back home. He was staring at the door for he didn’t know how many minutes until he heard a knock and stood up when Alice and Alyzée entered his room. Victor then closed the door behind the two women who were staring at him: Alice seemed annoyed while Alyzée looked confused.

“ We were in the middle of a date, Alastor.” Sighed Alice, turning a lock of her blonde hair with her finger.

“ Well, I know, my dear friend!” He gave her his usual smile before standing up and giving a seat to the two women. “ I wanted to ask you some things that bothered me.” He looked at the two women who were staring at him, waiting for his command… Well, he was sure Alyzée would do what he asked.. Alice, she was more of a brat than a woman, she would say no just to piss him off. “ I need to know what is going on inside the police.”

“ Isn’t your wife the daughter of an officer?” Alyzée tilted her head, confused. 

“ Indeed, she is, but it also means that if information is being leaked, she would be on the list of suspects. I need information that her father isn’t aware of.” He sat on his chair, with his charming smile. He was staring at Alice, he knew she would do anything to make sure you were safe, in that regard he was grateful that she was protective of you. He knew he could use her for your safety.

“ What kind of information do you need?” Alice asked, crossing her legs, staring at him. She was ready for business, perfect.

“ I need information on the policemen that are on my father’s case.” He said, looking at Alyzée as her face turned sad.

“ Oh, Alastor…” 

He almost rolled his eyes. She must have thought he was sad because the case of his father had never been closed.  She was really naive, he was almost surprised nobody turned her naivety against her… Well, with Alice by her side, he wasn't surprised. But let’s put all chances on his side.

“ I think my father must have been captured or… worse, by the police themselves. After all these years, they didn’t find anything. I think … It might be because he married a black woman.. They think he isn’t worth it.” He said, lowering his head, trying to stifle his laugh. He almost roared with laughter when he heard Alyzée’s words of compassion. She then left to bring him something to drink. He lifted his head and stared at Alice who was looking at him unimpressed. 

“ Do you think you are funny?”

“ Absolutely hilarious!” He laughed as he leaned back against his seat. “ Oh dear, your lady is very naive, I’m almost worried about the poor thing.” He smirked.

“ So, why do you need to have a spy in the police?”

“ John Felleur. I first thought he was obsessed about me and my wife, but I feel like there is more than that.”

“ You think he knows about what you have done?”

“ Well,” Alastor sighed, passing a hand in his hair. “ He thinks he knows that I killed my father, but I don't know if he has clues. Furthermore, I need to be sure he doesn’t spread his belief.” He said, grinning at Alice who nodded.

“ I see… Do you think that’s why he followed her last time? And that he managed to help her escape the stalker?”

Alastor looked at Alice, he wasn’t surprised you told this accident to your best friend, he expected it. He explained vaguely that he needed to know if John had created fake proofs against him so he could separate you. With his popularity nowaday, to make Alastor disappear would be hard, but he needed to know what was going on. What if John managed to surround himself with powerful people to take him down. After all, the name Felleur was important in New Orleans…

“ Well, even if I married a Felleur now, I’m still a RicheMont.” said Alice with a confident smile. “ I will have dinner with my family in law, and I shall see if I can find clues about John. If not, trust me, Trey will help us.” she smiled.

Alastor nodded and shook Alice’s hand when she promised him she would place a spy in the police, under RicheMont's name. He smirked, even after all those years, Alice was still a useful tool.

When Alyzée came back with a hot coffee, Alastor drank it and listened to the woman’s reassurance about how his father was alive and he wished for nothing more than coming back. He managed to hold his laughter, even if it was hard. Especially when Alyzée asked Alice to give him faith that his father would come back.

“ Yeah… yes, Alastor, don’t worry… Daddy will be back.” snorted Alice.

“ Alice!”

After a while, the two ladies took their leave and Alastor stood up. Now, he just had to go home and meet with his lovely wife. He took his car’s keys, said goodbye to Victor who beamed at his salutations and then drove home. 

But the more he was getting closer to his house, the more anxious he felt. He had the strange sensation his shadow, that was supposed to be with you, was reeling, reckless, angry and afraid. Those feelings weren’t supposed to exist when you were around. He drove faster and quickly entered your shared home.

He stopped in his tracks when he saw the scene. You were kneeling in front of your injured shadow while his own shadow snarled at you. What happened..?

“ What? You don’t want me to heal you?”

“ And they are right, my love.” 

You turned your face toward the door and smiled at Alastor who was clearly irritated. How did you manage to get injured? How? He wanted to pluck his hair out from his skull but he needed to stay calm. He wouldn’t accomplish anything if he let his emotions take hold of his mind. He walked toward your shadow and looked at its injury. How could it happen…? How could someone hurted a shadow..? He looked at you and you quickly told him everything that happened. And yet, he was left with more questions than answers…

“ Mhn..We need answers. Kalfu, come here.”

“ Papa Legba, would you please join us?”

You watched as the two spirits were leaning comfortably against the wall. Kalfu was smirking, it seemed like he was enjoying himself, like usual... Legba was looking at you with his usual warm expression. You stood up with Alastor and everyone went into the kitchen.

“ I have questions. Would you betray us?” Alastor asked, drinking the coffee you made him.

“ Alastor!”

“ No offense taken, little lady.” Papa Legba said with a genuine smile. “ What is a betrayal for you? If you are asking if I will give others an access to the spiritual realm, as long as they give me a sacrifice, I will.” Alastor’s smile twitched. That wasn't great news…

You frowned at his answer.

“ Then, if I fight against someone who works with you… How are we going to deal with it? Would you tell our secret to them?”

“ Why would I do that? I will give access to a spirit they want to work with, nothing more.” Legba tilted his head, watching you calmly. “ If you were to fight with someone I helped, I won’t intervene, it is only your control over your powers that will help you.”

“ But I know my wife is your protégée, right?” Alastor asked with his usual smile. He knew that Papa Legba’s got fond of you. He was caring about you like you were his granddaughter. He would help you without asking for a sacrifice in exchange… The spirit couldn’t lie, Alastor knew his wife was protected by one of the most important spirits in the Voodoo’s realm.

“ Is Kalfu’s protégée Alastor?” you asked curiously. You flinched when Kalfu roared with a mocking laughter.

“ Ooh, yes he is. But unlike your sweet relationship with Legba, I won’t run to save Alastor’s life. He can save his own, if not, why would I be there? I can help him in other ways, but don’t call me for sweet things like saving his life. Isn't that why you are here, little missy?”

You looked at Alastor who nodded, smirking mockingly at Kalfu. Of course, if your relationship with Legba was like grandfather and granddaughter, his relationship with Kalfu was more twisted. They always tried to trip the other into some kind of deal that would make one have the upper hands. Alastor knew Kaflu wouldn’t let him die… If you were in a critical situation, Legba would heal you. If he was in a critical situation, Kalfu would give him power to kill his enemy.

Same goal, differents methods.

“ How could my shadow be hurted like this?”

You looked at the three men in front of you.Alastor looked at the spirits, he needed to know what happened back there. Was someone using Voodoo too? That’s  why they managed to injure your shadow? Legba crossed his arms after smoking, his pipe fuming in a smoothing way.

“ Well, you saw it yourself , didn’t you?”

“ What do you mean?” you asked, making a cold chocolate for you.

“It was an offering, aren’t you not used to seeing them now?” Alastor asked, stroking your cheeks. You could be such an airhead, sometime… “ From what you told me, the lamb was an offering.” He looked at Legba who nodded. “ Was it for you?”

“I’m more of a rooster man. This offering wasn’t for me.”

He looked at Kalfu who was smirking at you. This spirit really enjoyed making people afraid of him, he wasn’t going to lie, Alastor could understand the appeal. Now, he needed to think. From what Legba had just said, Voodoo’s users could work with Christianity. Did it mean that they could also cause harm to each other..? How could he measure his strength against someone that might be using Christianity power..? Did that mean… They could work with angels..? He heard about people that have seen angels or heard them, what if some people could work with them just like you and he were working with spirits.

He turned his gaze toward the light that was emanating from Papa Legba. It seemed like the spirit had healed your shadow. He observed as his own shadow began to tease your shadow to make sure it was back to normal.

“ Then, is it possible for them to work with angels?”

“ It is highly possible, even more so if they had a Bible with them.”

“ Mhn, It’s not my favorite hypothesis.” Laughed Kalfu with a smirk, looking at you with a knowing smile. Alastor stared at his spirit, his smile never faltering. “ Now, I have other things to do, if you excuse me.”

He sighed once Kalfu vanished. You walked toward him and kissed his cheek which made him look at you.

“ Ahh, darling, do you want me to die younger because of stress?” He said as he tugged you on his laps, his arms around your waist. You tilted your head as he kept talking. “ I sended Victor to take care of the girls so you would go back home, and yet… You went into the big bad wolf’s mouth, not even planning something. I taught you better than that, right?” He purred, his lips against your cheek.

You smiled at him, wrapping your arms around his shoulder.

“ I’m sorry. I was… too excited I think.”

Alastor hummed against your skin as he watched both of your shadows playing with each other. In a way, they seemed…oddly innocent. 

“ Don’t you think they acted like us when we were younger?” you giggled as Alastor’s shadow poked yours on its cheek, making it snarl at it.

“ I think the same… But they are deadlier.” Alastor gave you a sinister smile which made you shiver. You kissed his lips, humming as he kissed you back. You pushed your body against his, making him dig his nail deeper in your skin. You whispered against his lips.

“ You don’t feel sick anymore..?” 

“ I was not sick dear, I was just… tired.” he kissed you back before you could answer, making you chuckle against his lips. He was feeling excited with all of this news. When  was the last time the both of you had to hunt something big? Maybe something bigger than yourself. Oh, he couldn’t wait to play his games with you and your new targets.

—----

It’s been two months since you discovered your new ‘enemies’. He didn't expect to find nothing about them after months of searching. And what was worse, was that he could see this was taking a toll on you. Alastor and you went into the abandoned building, multiple times to search through every floor and you didn't find anything. It felt like they cleaned everything before vanishing.

And that was making you sick. He could see you were looking for danger anywhere, even when the both of you were in bed, you would stay awake, keeping Eamon against you while he would read you a story until you would fall asleep. He was worried, he had never seen you like this before.

You were sleeping less, you had nausea and you were getting emotional with the lack of sleep. Sometimes you could cry because Alastor came later than usual and you thought he had been killed by the couple you couldn’t find. He demanded you to stop thinking about it, that he would take care of it alone, for your safety and health. But the day he said those words, you almost became hysterical. 

You killed his father, it was your first time and yet you never been this… sick about it. He was really worried. He went to his mother to ask her what she thought about it, not about the murder of course, but of your symptoms. She asked if you were feeling stressed which he confirmed. She gave him some leaves to put into tea to relax the mind and the body. He wondered if you would take it, you weren’t a fan of tea after all… 

Baron Samedi seemed to stick to your side with a knowing smile which infuriated Alastor. The spirit who reigns over the dead was silent as a tomb when he asked about your well being. He almost jumped at the spirit’s throat but contained himself. If Baron Samedi was fond of you and wanted to make you his protégée it would be perfect.

He lifted his hand when he felt your presence downstairs. Why were you at his workplace? Did something happen ? No, you wouldn’t come here in daylight because something happened with your next target. Did you have a surprise for him?

He couldn’t contain his smile when he heard your footsteps running toward his door. Since childhood, you always were the one running to where he was. You had all of the outside world to discover and yet you threw yourself at him, even if it meant staying in a cage, away from others. In his room, where his twisted and wicked mind was working, where he would whisper sweet nothing to you but also how to kill a man as painful as you could do.

He turned his head toward the door that you smashed open. He smiled fondly as he saw your face, your eyes shining like always. He would doom himself for your eyes, as bright as the sun and yet as soothing as the moon. You always were watching him fondly, no matter his state.

“ Well, darling, you look like you ran from something… or someone? Did you see them?” you smiled as his eyes flashed red when he asked you if you ran into the catholic couple. From your face, he could tell it wasn’t about them but he needed to be sure. You shook your head as you took his hand and placed it against your cheek.

“ No, no… I… I have good news. Well, I hope it’s going to be good news…”

You kept your gaze on his face,  taking his hand from your cheek to place it against your belly. He tilted his head, confused.  Were you worried you had gained weight again? He told you he always loved to bite you, he liked when his teeth hit your bones or plugged into your flesh… He almost shook his hand, he could almost feel himself salivating.

“ I’m pregnant.”

…

What?

He blinked, his smile dropping without him noticing. You were pregnant? You? You were pregnant?... You?

He kneeled in front of you, confused but fascinated. He was used to the both of you killing. He loved it, the feeling of taking someone's life, being the one in control of everything, he felt lightheaded with this feeling. You weren’t completely like him, but he knew you enjoyed taking a life if it meant that you protected him.

So, how did you two manage to create life?

But quickly, his thoughts became darker. You were pregnant, with his child… He smiled widely, you just attached yourself to him into another level. You accepted his seed and began to create a whole human inside of you… He almost fainted because of the wicked pleasure he felt at that moment.

“ You… I’ve made you… pregnant?” he asked softly, lifting his head up to watch you. You chuckled as you stroke his cheeks, your voice soft.

“ Yes.. I’m carrying your child.”

“Our child.” he corrected you. It was important that you knew that, he only cared about it because it had half of you and half of himself.

“ Yes… Our child.” You smiled at him, your eyes getting teary. He scooped you in his arms, laughing. 

“ Who would have thought ! There is something… in your belly that we created together…” He stared at you in fascination. His shadow was already touching your belly with childish wonder before rushing toward your shadow and touching its belly. 

He took you home, kissed your face multiple times during the ride, smirked when you giggled while asking him to keep his eyes on the road. You said you would tell the news to your parents the next day which he said he was going to inform his mother at the same time.

The next day, he drove you to your parents home before going to his mother’s. The house didn’t change, but he could see flowers that weren’t there when he left his mother to move out with you. He left his car before knocking at the door and smiled when his mother opened the door, smiling happily at him.

That view made killing his father worth it.

“ So, bébé, what can I do for you?” she asked as she gave him a black coffee before sitting on her chair. He stared at her with an amused smile, dropping the news just before drinking his coffee.

“ You are going to have a grandchild.” 

Marie stared at him, before standing up so fast Alastor thought she would fall. She ran into his arms, screaming in joy with tears in her eyes. He hugged her with a soft smile, she seemed so happy, he didn't understand why.

She asked about your wellbeing, how you were feeling and if he was happy to be a father. He tilted his head, smiling at her without saying a word. He didn’t care about being a father, he didn’t care about the child… He cared about the meaning behind it, the fact that he created something with you that will live on. 

But he couldn’t say that to his mother, he knew she would look at him with sadness, like she was devastated that he couldn’t share her joy about this news. Since he was a child, his mother would sometimes look at him with so much sadness, and it was when he had the most fun. When he was killing animals, when he killed his father… She would hug him strongly, like she was trying to keep him with her. Maybe she was trying to save his soul, clinging to him so God would take pity and forgive him?

His mother was too sweet…

After listening to his mother’s advice about taking care of a baby and a pregnant woman, he turned his head toward the door when he heard a knock. Marie seemed confused but went to open the door and smile at the man in front of her.

“ Mister Felleur, please come on in.”

Alastor smirked while drinking his coffee. Felleur, huh..? that must be Alice’s husband. He stood up when he saw Trey walking inside the living room with a soft smile. He shook the man’s hand before his Mother went into the kitchen to bring some drinks.

Trey sat on the sofa, smiling at Alastor. It seemed like he came here to see him, but how did he know he was at his mother’s place? Most of the time, people who wanted to see him would go to his workplace. 

“ Well, Mr. Felleur, it seemed like you were looking for me. Isn’t it a little bit rude to go to my mother’s house?” Alastor asked with his usual smile, drinking his coffee while staring at the man.

“ I’m sorry it looks bad but I went to your workplace and didn’t find you. A man, Victor, said you might be at your mother’s place and I have a request that couldn’t wait for you to come back.” Trey said with a sad smile. The man was looking at Alastor with pleading eyes. “ I need your help. I want you to work with my cousin, John Felleur on the serial killer’s case.”

Hah !

Were all the Felleur such idiots? He hid his smile behind his cup while staring at the man in front of him. Trey said there was a new victim but the person was a woman, and it was not the usual serial killer routine. Alastor nodded with a , he hoped, sad smile.

“ This is horrible, but how could I help you? I’m only a radio host.”

“ Don’t be so modest, Alastor. You have all of New Orleans’s attention with your broadcast. The serial killer might be listening to you. You could try to upset him by ridiculing him which would make them get messy.” Trey seemed to try to convert a plan to catch the killer. Alastor almost rolled his eyes at him. What kind of killer would be upset about what people say about them? 

When you kill, you don’t care about what the living says, you care about this special moment with your victim.

But if he could find new information within the police, why not accept. At the moment, Alice’s spies didn’t find anything worth motioning and he was curious about the woman’s corpse. How did this copycat kill… ?

Alastor stood up and shook Trey’s hand with a charming smile. After giving his regard to his mother, Trey and Alastor walked outside and he wasn’t surprised to see John waiting against his cousin’s car.

“ John, Mr. Sanglar accepted to help you. How nice of him, right!”Trey smiled at John with a smile so pure it almost made Alastor gag. How disgustingly pure… Alastor smiled at John who frowned. Now that was funnier! John couldn’t hide his emotions from him, which made him amusing to play with.

“ How nice, indeed…”

“ Now, now, my dear fella! Don’t look so gloomy! It’s such a great day!” Cheered Alastor.

“ Someone died today!” Spat John.

“ That’s what people do my dear John. Give me a day where no one died.”

“ … “ 

“ Exactly! Now, shall we go?” Alastor clapped his hand as Trey tried to cheer his cousin up. Alastor sat behind his steering wheel as John sat next to him. He followed the policeman’s directions until they arrived at the murder’s location. Alastor quickly left his car, excited to see the murder. 

“ I won’t lie. I don’t think the kill was made by the serial killer.” whispered John, peeking at Alastor who was walking next to him. Alastor looked at the man. Now, he knew John was an intelligent man, only a fool would tell otherwise. But he wasn’t more intelligent than him. Poor man.

“ Why is that?”

“ From the injuries the victims had on her body, it almost looks identical to other murder but, first of all she is a woman and for now the serial killer never touched a woman. Second of all… Well, you’ll see.”

Alastor walked inside the house and looked at the dead woman's body, on the ground, it looked oddly clean for a murder. Well, a smile has been carved on her face, like he used to do but unlike his usual ways of carving, he could see the killer began to cut from the left. When he carved a smile he would always stare by the right, because he knew you would take the right eye. He would begin where you started.

Talking about the eyes, he could see the woman had her left eye taken. Well, well… It seemed like the person who did that wasn’t alone. Most of the time when you were with him, you would take the eye first and then he would carve the smile. That way, you wouldn’t bother  each other when you did your thing. Here, he could see clearly, the way the smile had been carved was messy. Like the killer was bothered by someone because they tried to take the eye.

He could see everything clearly. They were two killers. And that would almost make him worried if he wasn’t so sure of himself. Two killers, a man and a woman. He could see it from the injuries. He could see the bruises around the woman's face and neck. The man must have killed the victims…

He stared at the corpse’s face. Oh! How could he not notice? All of the injuries were made postmortem, well, at least the eye and the smile.  The wound was made post mortem because there were no blood markings. He experimented so many times, when someone or an animal  dies, blood no longer flows through the body. Did they were too scared to torture the woman when she was alive?

“ So, I think this is a copycat. Most of the time, the serial killer I’m after left the corpse like right now. But there is so much blood, from every injury. They torture their vicitms while they are alive. Here, as you can see, or as you know,” he stared at Alastor with a heavy gaze,” the bruises have been made after the woman’s death. And they took the left eye while the serial killer took the right one.”

Alastor nodded while looking at John. John was intelligent, he was a great policeman, a great investigator. Alastor was almost a little bit surprised about who quickly John saw it was a fake kill. Someone was trying to frame him? He looked around the house while John was staring at him. 

He couldn’t see any mess. It seemed like the woman let her executioners

 come to her, fully trusting them. Who do we let inside our home without feeling threatened.

Police, Nurses, Family, Lover…

He froze when he heard John mumbled.

“ May you rest in peace. Amen.”

Religion huh..?

Nobody would feel threatened by someone who claimed their love for God.. right? He smirked, rolling his eyes. He would keep it in mind. After all, how many people did kill for their religion?

But why would they kill like that..? He shook his head, sighing with a wicked smile. How interesting ! He couldn’t help but wish to hear your thoughts about it. 

After this exciting day he went to your parent’s place to take you back home. You quickly asked him if he knew about the woman’s death. Oh, so you knew about it ? You little sneaky thing, not telling your husband right away.

“ Did you know about the woman who was killed ?” you turned your head toward your husband.

“ Yes, dear. I just learned it today. What are your thoughts?” he took one of your hands in his hand before kissing the back of it, his eyes still on the road.  He was so excited to hear your thoughts, did you wish for revenge? death? 

“ I… I don’t know? I think it would be nice to let them be caught and not us but… Someone using our title and killing innocent people is making me angry. Furthermore, what if they knew we were the killer of all the previous victims? What if they knew more than they let on?” you bit your lips, looking at Alastor with a new determination. “ We need to find them.”

“ Finding a stalker, finding a copycat, life is always entertaining with you my love!” Laughed Alastor with an excited smile. “ I went to the crime scene this morning, guess who invited me?” he looked at you, beaming at your confused look. “ The one and only John Felleur ! It seemed like his cousin, Alice’s husband, forced him to work with me to find the serial killer.”

“ Wait, why would Trey want you to work with John?”

“ Well, from what I heard, he wants this killer to be found as soon as possible. And he told John I could be useful to trap the murderer.” He smirked.

“ And how is that possible?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.

“ With my radio, dear! This copycat must want to be like us because they want to be the star of the show~! They want people to think about them, the radio to talk about them, and the world to know about their evil deeds.”

“ But, we are the real serial killer…” you were so confused.

“ Exactly, dear, so if I play my cards right, they would want to have a real name for themselves and so they would look for us, to get rid of us.” He smirked as he parked in front of your house. “ And then, we will kill them. Or send them to the police, I’m still not sure.”

Alastor walked inside your shared home and looked as you went upstairs. He decided he would cook some Crawfish Etouffee. It’s been a long time since you ate one! He let you rest upstairs and then walked to your bedroom when he finished cooking. He walked inside your bedroom and smiled at your sleeping form, hugging Eamon against you. 

“ Dearest, wake up, dinner is served.”

He looked as you woke up, and immediately smiled at him. Hha… You really didn’t know what you were doing to him. You little tease.

You went downstairs and began to eat as you talked about your baby. He didn’t say anything but just watched you. He wondered if your excitement was different from his? You were excited about the baby, while he was excited about the symbolism behind it… He could see your eyes change, like you were worried about something. Ah, you must be worried he wasn’t as excited as you about the baby. How cute.

After dinner, he sat in the living room while you roamed toward his office. He closed his eyes, thinking about the murder he saw this morning. So, it seemed like there was a couple, just like the both of you, that have decided to kill a woman. What for? Did they know who was behind all the crimes? Was it really just a stupid copycat? He frowned, crossing his arms on his torso. 

He didn’t realize he stayed inside his thoughts until he heard you shout for him. He opened his eyes and stood up before walking toward his office. He entered with a knowing smile when he saw you with the shadows around you and a Voodoo book.

“ Dearest?”

“ Do you think you could create a Voodoo’s doll?” you asked him. He tilted his head before looking at his shadow which explained to him everything that happened. He could hear his shadow’s voice inside his mind clearly, it was like its own voice. So your shadow had the stalker’s blood. How amazing would you be?

“ Oh, interesting…” Alastor purred, walking toward you and your shadow which was still buzzing with excitement. He took the book from your hands and looked at your shadow with a wicked smile. “ Let’s get to work.”

You nodded, smiling widely at him. Alastor opened a secret door, behind a fake shelf, and you walked into the room. He was surprised when he first found this place, but it turned out to be useful. 

“ How are you going to make one..?”

“Most of them are filled with soft cotton that is bendable. The pins must be sharp so they can easily pierce the doll, without any effort. This shows how the  targeted person is weak and very manipulatable.I should use moss… But, cotton, straw and old rags could also be used. There is far less rigidity in its materiality, however, many items of the doll are specific to the spirit to be invoked. The color, for instance, can help attract a certain desired spirit, as the food arranged around the doll can.” he said, working on the doll while explaining everything to you.

He always loved how curious you were. From the most innocent thing, like how he loved his coffee to what was his preferred way of killing. You never change, always curious, searching for answers. He wondered if your child would be the same…

“ You are going to invoke another spirit..?” you frowned. 

“ Yes, but not something… Very powerful. I’m just going to have a spirit tail the man, so we can see where he lives.” he smirked, looking at the ceiling with an excited glint in his eyes. “ If I can hurt him the way he hurted you, I might let myself get tempted.” He didn't need to invoke a powerful spirit, come on, he was Alastor Sanglar, Kalfu’s protégée and Legba’s blood were inside his body. 

You crossed your arms on your chest, frowning.

“ He was supposed to be my prey.”

“ What is yours is mine, and what is mine is yours, isn’t it, dear?” he chuckled when he felt your lips on his cheek. 

“ You are lucky I love you.” you mumbled against his skin.

“ I know.”

Was it strange for him to feel almost nothing with those words? For him, Love was such an understatement from what you both were feeling. But, he knew that you meant more when you said those words. It was easier to say those words than tell what you both really felt. 

He worked on the voodoo doll which took more time than he thought it would. He could hear both of your shadows playing together until you began to sing. He looked at you with a fond smile, how ethereal you were… A gift from the gods.

After a while, he finally finished the doll.

“ Perfect.”

You opened your eyes, your mind still blurry from sleep. You looked at Alastor who was standing, the doll against the wall.Alastor held his hand toward you and you looked at your shadow which put the blood on the doll, snickering as it did so. He felt Kalfu behind him and he began his invocation.

He heard you gasping when the spirit showed itself. It had big fangs, so big it seemed like the spirit couldn’t close its mouth because of it. You could see saliva drooling from its mouth, its eyes never leaving Alastor’s form. Feathers were all around its body, it really looked like an owl… a terrific owl. Its eyes were all black, not a single glint of life was inside it… Perfect.

“ A pleasure to have you, you shall be rewarded if you do your job.” Alastor said, never being bothered from the hideous creature in front of him. “ Find the person who owns this blood. Tell me everything about it, and then, I shall kill him, and give you all of the man to you.”

The owl opened its wing before flying through the ceiling. You looked at your husband who was smirking at the doll. He took it in his hand and laughed. Now, it was just a matter of minutes before the spirit returned with the information he needed. How easy, he was almost disappointed.

“ You are mine.” he spat, staring at the doll with madness and fury. You watched as Kalfu vanished and Alastor looked at you with his red eyes. “ Hah, dear. We are going to find him.” he sighed in bliss. The one who hurted you had his life reaching its end.

“ I’m… I’m worried, Alastor. You know you can count on me, right?”

“ I have known this since our childhood, dear.” He tilted his head at your words. Why did you suddenly say that? He took one lock of your hair before kissing it affectionately. His eyes dived into yours with sincerity and mad affection. “ Why? Are you doubting my trust in you?”

“ It’s just.. I feel useless in times like this.”

“ How are you useless? You are the one who told me to make a Voodoo’s doll with the blood your shadow collected. Where are you useless, my love?” He smirked at you. You had such strange thoughts sometime. How could you be useless? You helped him kill his father, you helped him meet Papa Legba, you helped him everyday just because you were breathing.

“ It’s just… You know, for you, I would give all of myself to the devil–”

You gasped as Alastor took you by the throat, pinning you against the wall with a smile so big it looked inhuman, his shadow behind him taking more place in the room, taking away the light from the room. You looked at Alastor’s red eyes which were shining with pure madness. He squeezed your throat with one hand while the other one was stroking your cheek.

“ Don’t say that. Don’t say you would give yourself to someone else but me.” he said, his breath hitting your lips. “ I would fight the devil to keep you by my side. Angels, devils, who cares.” he spat. Now, that was what happened when you thought you ‘loved him’. No, loving was something easy to erase. You didn’t love him, it was much more. More than anyone could comprehend. Both of you were different, your affection for each other reached another realm. 

“ I’m sorry…I’m yours…”

You felt his body relaxed and the grip on your throat lessened. You opened your eyes and looked at your husband whose eyes were their usual brown color. He stared at you, still smiling but he was less tense. 

“ Of course you are, dearest. Running away right now would be pointless.” he smirked at you before kissing you once more. Running away, hah! Odd thoughts. 

You hummed against his lips, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. He tapped your thighs, making you jump, wrapping your legs around his waist. He left the room and walked you toward your bedroom. You were so exhausted you fell asleep as soon as Alastor laid you on the bed. He smiled as he looked at you, you seemed more tired these days…

He laid on the bed, staring at the ceiling before he felt himself being pulled from his body. He didn’t panic, it must have been his spirit who wanted to show him something. He felt his soul being dragged toward an abandoned church. He smirked, really? A church? He laughed mockingly, was he going there for his final judgment ?

His soul flew toward the ground and he saw his spirit screeching before diving under the floor. He followed and smirked when he saw a couple, talking with each other. It didn’t seem like they sensed him. He looked around, there was an ax, some books… He flew toward an open book and frowned when he saw what was written. It seemed like they wanted to summon something… He squinted his eyes, trying to see the name.

Samael.

He turned his body around and froze when he saw a huge eye staring down at him. The eye’s sclera was red, but the pupil was yellow. It was staring at Alastor which made him immobile. He glanced toward the couple but they weren’t looking at him. What was it? If it was like his own shadow, even if it has its own conscience, Alastor would feel everything if the shadow found something, an intruder or something useful.

So why were the couple not looking at him even though the eye was staring at him. He frowned when he felt pain surging inside his head, making him fall to his knees. He groaned, closing his eyes. He needed to go back inside his own body. Now.

But when he opened his eyes he was somewhere where there wasn’t any light. He felt like he was floating in nothingness. He looked around, he could almost hear the noise from his movement echoing inside this place. Where was he ? 

He froze when he saw multiple sets of eyes staring at him. Everywhere he was looking there was an eye staring at him. He wasn’t panicking, he was mostly annoyed and frustrated. He didn’t have time for that. He wanted to go back to you and tell you what he just found.

The eyes' gaze were beginning to get heavier. It almost felt like he was being touched just from their glance alone. He hated it. They weren’t blinking, staring at him, waiting for him to give up? He would never. 

He gasped when he saw a red thread glowing with a powerful green light. What was it..? With all the eyes around him, he almost missed it. He stared at the thread that seemed to invite him to follow it. He took the threat that wrapped itself around his ring finger.

Eamon.

He smirked and then closed his eyes. He knew if he opened them, he would fall under the powerful gaze of those eyes, which made him feel uncomfortable. His grip on the thread never faltered and he followed it, never letting it go. But then, the thread pulled him so hard on his hand he almost winced.

Then, he felt the air. Fresh air.

He opened his eyes and saw he was being pulled toward your shared home, no eye in sight. He sighed, relieved. Well, it could have turned bad. He smiled when the thread pulled him inside the bedroom but then he froze.

You were fighting him. Well, you were fighting his body. He felt dread inside his body. He could see something on his body, manipulating it, using it to hurt you. He looked at you, you were squeezing Eamin against your chest while his body was banging his fist against the shield you raised against him. 

He could see his own shadow trying to keep his body on the floor, trying to protect you. He then saw you detached your soul from your body, how could you do it so easily, he didn’t know. He wondered if you saw him in that state, but your eyes were glowing, fixated on the thing that had its claw on his body.

He watched as his body fell on his knees and then he saw it. The red thread that was glowing green was pulling him to his own body. He rushed inside it and felt such a fire inside his own body. He needed to make his body his once more.

He could feel his own hand raising before plugging a blade inside his thigh and he already could tell from the bleeding it had touched an arterial. Damn it, arterial bleeding was significantly more dangerous than venous bleeding. Now, he knew he had around 2 to 7 minutes before dying. How bothersome. He wasn’t scared of dying, he was just disappointed. 

But once more, you surprised him.

You repelled the spirit and fell to your knees, but didn’t wait a second before crawling toward him. You were already taking off his pajama pants while he frowned.

“ You won’t heal me.”

“ You don’t have a choice… Hurry up…” you gasped. He didn’t want you to heal him, what if you died because he couldn’t survive the cut from his thighs? You were so stubborn ! He groaned as you let you licked his wound? He was furious, even more when he saw blood seeping through your pajama dress. You didn’t seem worried. He was sure, in your mind he was the one who needed to be healed. When you finished healing him he tugged you in his arms, trying to stop himself from shaking.

When an arterial was cut, people would die after 2 or 7 minutes, you healed him maybe two minutes after he got injured. That meant you would have this cut for two minutes until it vanished from your body. He waited until the two minutes passed… You were still breathing, you were still here.

“ Are you okay, Alastor…?”

Of course that’s what you were worried about. He wanted to shake you, to ask you to promise him you would never do something like that. Should he cage you somewhere? Where no one could hurt you. He would have to think about it later, right now he needed to have a discussion with someone.

“ Kalfu!” Alastor shouted. You turned your head toward Kalfu that was sitting next to you, looking at your bloody thigh with a smirk even if the wound was already cured. “ You knew it was going to happen, didn’t you?” Alastor asked with a furious smile.

“ Of course! You were so full of yourself ! Making a voodoo’s doll against an opponent that maybe was using an angel’s power!” Kalfu laughed, looking at the both of you with a mocking gaze. “ You really used a weak spirit, thinking the spell wouldn’t turn against you, didn't you? Well, you learned something new tonight, Alastor.” Kalfu laughed once more, mocking you without hiding himself. “ But I must say, little missy did wonderful. You felt something was wrong before Alastor was possessed.” 

Alastor frowned, before looking at you. You felt it ? From the bedroom’s state you must have fought him before he even came back. You didn’t seem like you had been hurt but… If he thought about it he felt like he was going to go toward the couple and kill them, not caring about his surroundings.

“ That’s Legba’s portégée for you.” Kaflu spat with anger and envy. “ But you always were connected to energy around you, so it isn’t very surprising.” He said, looking at Eamon.

You looked at Alastor who was biting his lips, making it bleed. Without thinking you lick his wound while he was trying to speak to Kalfu. Could you stop being cute and annoying for once?

“ They aren’t working with an angel, and you knew it.”

“ That’s my protégée for you!” Kalfu clapped in his eyes with pride. “ Indeed, they aren’t working with an angel…”

You looked at Alastor, feeling your lips bleeding a little because of the cut. You touched his face, making sure he was looking at you. He would always look at you…

“ Are you okay?”

Alastor’s body relaxed a little as his eyes fell into yours. He sighed before kissing your forehead.

“ Did I hurt you, my love?” You shook your head. “ I’m sorry.. I didn’t expect them to be… this skilled.” he said. He couldn’t think he underestimated his enemy. How shameful.

“ Who are they working with? Kalfu?” you looked at the spirit with a death stare. It was cute how you didn’t trust Kalfu at all.

“ Oh no, I wouldn’t want to work with them. I already have Alastor!” Kalfu laughed at your stare. “ They are working with a powerful being, someone who used to be God’s favorite!”

“ They are working with Samael.” Alastor said, in the quiet room. “ But he is known as Lucifer.” He looked at you, you paled quickly it was almost comically. 

“ But… how.. How could we win against… Lucifer? Lucifer… Are you really sure?” you asked, looking at Alastor once more.

“ Yes, that is why we found a lamb in the abandoned building. That was a sacrificial lamb. And from what I saw, the woman was also a sacrifice for him. A catholic virgin woman.”

“ But.. But, they were… holding a Bible..” you were so confused,he would have to prepare a cold chocolate for you, he knew you were going to have a headache.

“ Yes, it was the Bible cover, but the book in itself is not. Trust me, before they managed to get the spirit and possess me, I managed to see where they were. And trust me, they won’t live another week.” You felt him grab you tighter. “ How dare they… Making me attack you…I'll tear out their heart and force them to eat it.”

He could see your eyes shifting. You were as angry as him, he could see your shadow buzzy with hatred. Kalfu vanished and Alastor took you to bed and checked your thigh.

“ I’m okay, my love.” You smiled at him.

“ You … You were amazing. Using the Eamon to make me come back…” he kissed your inner thigh, closing his eyes when he felt your hand in his hair. “ How could I let this happen…” How could he not see it coming?

“ Alastor… I’m not mad at you.” You tugged him toward you, laying on the bed and placing his head against your chest. “ I made a vow to always be there for you, to protect you or heal you if needed… Don’t worry.”

“ Aren’t you scared we will fight two people who had asked for power from Lucifer, the fallen angel?” he asked you.

He didn't want you to be sick because you felt terrified because of who you both were going to fight. 

“ I’m not scared. We are going to win. We are fighting against humans, we will win.”

—-----

“ Alright, I will tell you were with me all night.”

Alastor watched you as you hugged Alice. You told her you knew where the stalkers were and you were going to kill them tonight. She said she would be your alibi which made him snickered.

“ Where is your husband ? He will see we weren’t with you.”

“ Oh, he went into a business affair, he is going to come back in two days.” She smiled at you. “ Don’t worry, our alibi is safe.” She winked at you, making you smile. You asked if everything was going smoothly with her husband which she replied with a smile. “ Oh, perfectly! He knows everything about me~ I feel like I’ve known him for so long! Even if there is no romantic love involved.”

Was it what romance was about ? He did know a lot about you, but he didn’t know everything about you which was exciting. But well, why would he care about Alice’s vision of love.

You looked at her belly, smiling.

“ So, did you find a name?”

She beamed at you, taking your hand in hers.

“ Oh, yes, I found it and Alyzée accepted it. I need to tell my husband but he doesn’t have his say.” She said with a big smile. “ I wrote the name in this envelope, I shall tell you the name when you come back.”

“ Why be overdramatic for a name?” Alastor asked, raising an eyebrow with a mocking smile. “ Just tell her you didn’t find anything so you want to buy time.”

“ I’m the one being overdramatic? Do you hear yourself on the radio, Alastor?” She spat at him, giving him the middle finger.

He smirked at Alice, he always enjoyed who she was quick with her remarks. At least, she had this for herself. He hoped her child wouldn’t be as annoying as her… Oh, well, he preferred if the child took from Alice than Trey, at least the baby would be a  little bit interesting. 

Would his own child be friends with Alice’s child? Oh dear… He hoped his child would see how useful the RicheMont were.

You stood up, Alastor doing the same and all of you walked toward the door. Alice hugged you strongly.

“ Please, be careful. Promise me, you will come back.”

You smiled at her. Alastor was smirking at her, of course you would come back, when you were together, no one could beat you.

“ We will be back, don’t worry.”

He looked at Alice who was stroking her belly until she went back inside her house. You walked toward the abandoned church, of course you didn’t know where it was located which was one of the many reasons you were gripping his forearm. He could see you were anxious, much more than usual. But you were keeping your mouth shut, you were silent. Why would you close your heart to him like this?

“ My love, talk to me.”

“ I’m… I have a bad feeling, Alastor.” you whispered, leaning your head against his shoulder. His body tensed at your words. He knew to never take your feelings lightly, even more the one that was connected to the spirits’s realm. Your instincts were always spot on. He wondered if it was Papa Legba’s gift to you as his portégée. Your instinct was almost like you knew what was happening in the future, depending if it was good or bad. 

“ How so?”

“ It’s the first time we are going to fight against opponents that have… powers, like us. We don’t know how we are supposed to fight. How are you supposed to take them down?” You close your eyes, gripping his jacket harder. 

“ Darling. They are using the power of a failed angel.” He sneered at the sky. “ What could have happened?”

“ The power of the failed angel possessed you…” You opened your eyes and looked at him. 

Hmn, you got a point.

He tensed before he let out a sigh. He turned his head toward you, his smile a bit smaller than usual as he stared at you with a warm glint. He wasn’t scared of dying, most of all, he didn’t think you or him would die soon. He was used to feeling threatened, he could feel when someone was having menacing thoughts about him. That is what made connecting to people so difficult when he was younger. Now, he could put on a mask.

But when he was a kid, he only knew hate and pain. When people looked at him with what he would learn later, affection he couldn’t feel it, not comprehend it. Thankfully, you were there, learning all of those emotions. Maybe he couldn’t understand all of them, but he could fake it enough so people would leave him alone.

“ How are you so calm..?” you whispered shakily. Oh yes, right, you were feeling anxious and scared.

“ I know you are scared. This might be the hardest fight we have to win… But Darling, when we first killed my father, we were powerless and yet we fought against this man. No demons, devils, angels could be… stronger than my father. He made me live through Hell.” He looked at your hand, taking them into his hands. “ We won’t lose. Not when we are together. Remember the three rules..?”

You nodded with a shaky smile. He stared at you and you opened your mouth.

“ Rule number one: Never drop your guard.” You closed your eyes when you felt him kiss your lips, encouraging you to continue. “ Rule number two: No one is stronger than you.” You smiled against his lips as he kissed you once again. “ Rule number three: Give up…”

“ That’s right, my love. Give up your fears, I’ll be there.”

Alastor looked at his shadow that poked your waist, making itself seen. It tugged at your shadow, showing that you weren’t alone. Those shadows could be very entertaining sometimes. 

You took a deep breath and looked at Alastor with a new found confidence which made Alastor smile immediately.

“ Perfect, then, how are we going to do it?”

Once again, you were asking how to kill. Were you aware? Were you aware of it?

“ Well, darling ! They are hiding in an abandoned church not too far from here. How subtil. There is a cave, which isn’t even locked. We will send our shadows first so they can see what is happening downstairs, and then we’ll attack. We won’t be greedy tonight, let’s not play and just go straight into killing. Don’t play with your prey, my dear.” He flicked your nose with a mocking smile which made you frown. 

“ You didn’t bring any weapons..?” you tilted your head.

“ Oh, dear, do you think me a fool? My shadow holds the weapon, I couldn’t be walking in New Orleans with a rifle and a knife, could I?” He laughed as you looked at his shadow and gasped when you saw his shadow having the shadow of a rifle and a knife in his hand. He smirked at your face, he knew you found him impressive which made him beam with pride.

When you both arrived at the church he let you look at the impressive building.  He was checking the exits he saw last time didn’t change or weren’t blocked. After a while, he came back to you, seeing his shadow massage your shoulder. He smirked when he felt your shadow wrap its hand around his.

You turned toward your husband who was motioning you to come closer. You both looked at each other before sending your shadows inside the church. 

You looked at your husband who was waiting patiently before nodding to you. He entered the house of prayer without looking back knowing you would follow him, like you always did. He went to the floor hatch while your shadows were looking around. He was trying to hear if he could hear noises. Normally, the couple should hear your footsteps from downstairs, it should echo… 

His eyes turned red and he sank his hand into his own shadow before taking out a rifle and a knife.

 Which one do you want, my love?

‘I’m still not good with a rifle, give me the knife. I’m an expert with that.’

You took the knife from his hands but before you could step back he tugged you against his chest and kissed you with hunger. You sighed against his lips, as you ran your hand into his dark curls. 

 This isn’t the last time I hug you, you hear me ?

He wondered if he was saying this to you or himself…

He nodded before gesturing to his shadow to go check what was under the door. You did the same with your shadow which followed Alastors. You both stayed quiet, waiting for your shadows to return. You felt relief when your shadow came back, gesturing to you that it was safe to enter. Alastor went first and then waited for you and the end of the stairs. You looked around, everything was dark, the only light you could see was far away, from a room on the other side of this dark corridor.

‘Should we separate?’ 

Check each room on the right. I’ll check the one on the left side, don’t enter the room at the end of the corridor before I’m here, okay?.

‘ Yes, sir.’

You could see him roll his red eyes at you which made you grin. He walked toward the room on the left, his shadow following him, with its wicked smile. There wasn’t anything interesting, there was a room that looked like.. a bathroom. He walked inside and stared at the water inside a bucket. What he was cautious about was the eye he saw when he came here the first time. 

But no sign of it. He couldn’t even feel his heavy gaze. Maybe it was because the couple thought they were safe…? Maybe he saw it because he was in a state that connected him to the energy around him..?He frowned, maybe you would feel it before him?After all, you were closer to your instincts than him who was more observing. But none of that mattered, he couldn’t feel the eye, so you both were safe. 

He was suspicious about the atmosphere. Even if the both of you were silent as death, the couple should have heard your footsteps when he were walking upstairs. Or they should feel their presence like he was feeling theirs. Was Lucifer’s power not about feeling others' aura? He should have looked for more information, but after his possession, he didn’t want to wait any more.

Are you scared, Alastor? 

He scoffed at Kalfu’s voice. He wasn’t scared, he was furious. He hated the idea of someone being better than him, even more in domains where he was the best.

‘ Darling, John might be the one behind all this. ’

 Please, do explain.

After explaining what you just found, Alastor joined you into the small office and looked at the letter with an angry smile.

‘ We really need to get rid of him.’

So, John was in it huh… Well, John or Trey, both of them were Felleur. John was the one who was obsessed with you and him since your younger age. He wouldn’t be surprised if he paid for creeps to make your life harder. 

Alastor walked toward the corridor once more and looked at the enlightened room in front of you. He could hear them talking, did they not notice you? He couldn’t believe it, they were smarter than that, weren’t they? They managed to capture your shadow, possess his mind… They couldn’t be this easy to kill, he would be so disappointed. Alastor went inside the room as quietly as possible and hid behind a wall, almost completely broken. You followed him, trying to be as quiet as him. He tilted his head, leaning where the wall was broken and he smirked. You did the same and there they were.

 Alastor took his rifle, as quietly as possible, and aimed at their head. He could feel you next to him, you were anxious.. Did you also feel like it was too easy?

Before he managed to understand the situation, he felt like he was being spied on and then you jumped on him as he heard a loud noise.  The place where you have been standing not a seconds ago was now under a big rock that seemed to have fallen from the ceilings. His smile dropped as he looked at you, were you hurt? It didn’t seem so.

“ Did it get them?” The woman said.

Well, well, now that was better ! He gestured you toward the rock.

 Can you lift it?

He watched you with fondness as you threw the rock toward the couple. You were so beautiful when you were at your strongest. He knew you would miss, he just wanted to send a message to the two people behind the wall.

They wouldn’t leave this church alive.

He wiped your nose when he saw blood dripping from it. Did he ask too much of you already? Well, it was time to introduce himself, right, as the biggest threat here.

“ A reminder to you all. Not to mess with my wife’s life.” Said Alastor with a big smile on his lips, his shadow taking more place in the room.

You looked at him as he aimed toward the couple. You stood up quickly at your husband's side. The man was standing in front of the girl in a protective manner while she was opening her grimoire. So, she was the one with the spiritual power…

“ You’ve made a mistake by coming here.” said the girl, her voice shaking but her form was ready to fight. The man was gripping at an ax, staring at Alastor.

“ You’ve made a mistake by threatening our life.” You said as power began to swirled inside you, your eyes turning red. “ No God or Devil is going to save you tonight.” You spat while Alastor was grinning ears to ears, his aim still trained on the couple. How beautiful you were! He was almost shaking from excitement.

“ I wondered how you could think you could take us down.” asked Alastor with a mocking voice. 

“ We managed to possess you, didn't we? Mickeal and I know you both are the serial killer that haunts New Orleans!” Shouted the girl, her hands gripping her book harder. “ We need to clear this city from evil!”

“ And yet, you killed an innocent woman, didn't you?” spat Alastor, his smile never leaving his face. So she was the one who possessed him? It wasn’t in his habits to hurt a woman, but well, it seemed like there was a first for everything.

The man stared at you, gripping his ax harder between his hands. 

“ Don’t bother, Louise. Those are demons, Voodoo’s hippies. We must kill them.”

Oh, come on. Could they be at least original with their threat ? Always being Voodoo’s hippies, wizard, sorcerer… Could someone be original for once?

He smirked when your shadow jumped on the man who, surprised, tried to get it off him. You telekinesised your knife to dug it into his thighs. Mickeal stared at you, not flinching once. He almost whistled, you really threw your knife exactly where he had been stabbed when he was possessed. Did you do it on purpose ?

 Good shot,dear.

He shot toward Mickeal who was rushing toward him but the man blocked his bullet with his ax. He pushed you out of the way, avoiding a slash from the weapon. He glanced at you as you walked toward the woman. He turned his attention to the man who seemed furious.

“ This is not very gentlemanlike to hurt a lady, you know?” He smirked.

“ What do you know about manners, demons?”

“ Say the one who works with the devil.” Alastor mocked, aiming once again at the man’s head. Mickeal ran toward Alastor with much more speed than he was prepared for. He smirked as his shadow jumped on the man, rooting him to the ground making him incapable of running.

Mickeal smirked at Alastor before taking the knife you had telekinesis at him and then he threw it at you, with so much force he knew that if you were touched, the cut could be fatal.

“ Darling!”

You turned your head toward your husband's voice and managed to stop your own knife that had been thrown by the man. If you hadn't stopped it, the blade would have stabbed your throat…

Alastor avoided a slash of Mickeal’s ax with a charming smile. He didn’t want to show he almost lost his composure because of the man's attack. You haven’t been touched so he would stay calm. He would keep playing with the man. 

He peeked at you and smirked when he saw you staring at the ax. He knew what you were trying to do. He always did.  The man looked at his weapon which had gotten heavier with a look of disbelief before looking at you with pure hate. You winked at him before Alastor punched him so hard the man had to take a couple steps back. He chuckled before he heard you scream. 

He lifted his head as he saw you being lifted up from the ground. Alastor sended his shadow toward you before avoiding nearly Mickeal’s attacks. Damn it. He frowned but his smile stayed glued to his face. He stared at the man’s swings. He was fighting well, but he wasn’t that good either.  He smirked as he swinged his leg toward his face. He laughed, when he saw Mickeal’s nose bleed. 

How easy!

He winced when he felt his shadow being burned by the woman’s chanting. Damn it, what was she chanting about?

He kept punching him, using his fist and legs but then he felt like he was being watched. Just like the last time when he was possessed… Was the eye here? Looking at him? He felt like he was being rooted to the ground, he couldn’t move. 

His eyes widened when he felt Mickeal’s ax slash his torso. He kept his smile on his face but the pain he felt was horrible. Damn it… He could move his body once more, making able to stumble back. That hurts..! 

“ Alastor !”

He never heard you screaming like this. That was new. He saw Mickeal being projected against a wall and then here you were, pulling him behind a wall. He knew you were going to heal him, so he needed to protect you too. He took his rifle, trying to ignore the pain in his body. He felt like he could throw up because of it.

He aimed at the couple and shot while you were licking his torso. 

He didn’t know why but this situation excited him. You were licking at his blood, licking at his skin while he was trying to kill. How scandalous that was! You were healing him so he could keep on killing. Oh, darling, you were perfect!

But then, he saw you stop moving. He knew you were feeling the pain he just had felt because of this bloody ax. You weren’t moving anymore… Wait, you couldn’t possibly have died because of the wound.

“ Darling, are you still with me ?”

You couldn’t be dead. He wouldn’t allow it. 

He felt his body relaxed when your eyes looked at his face. He stared at your face, making sure you were okay. You nodded at him, your body still twitching from the previous pain you had just felt. 

He stopped shooting at the couple to make them believe he had died, he didn’t know if they were aware of your healing power, so he should try it. He vanished inside his own shadow, letting his rifle next to you.

He stared at the scene, hiding in the shadow where nobody could see him. 

You stood up slowly from your hiding place and looked at the couple in front of you. Mickeal was playing with his ax, staring at you. 

“ How do you wish to die?” he asked you as he walked toward you. “ Like your husband?”

So they really believed he died. Perfect.

You walked toward him, your hands in the air. Louise was looking at you with a mocking smile, closing her books. You looked at the man who was looking you up and down, like he was trying to see if you had any hidden weapons on you. 

“ Why did you do this?” you asked, your voice a mere whisper.

“ We need to clear this city. We were hired to watch people that needed to die. But you don’t need to know more, your life ends here, Mrs. Sanglar.” He lifted his ax up. Alastor frowned as he saw a goldish light on the blade. He quickly rushed behind the man, appearing from his shadow in a second. He knew if you raised your shield, you wouldn’t be touched.

When his axe clashed against your shield, Alastor took the weapon as it slipped from the man’s hands because of your shield’s power. He then threw it toward the woman, Louise was it, with so much force it dug itself inside her chest.

You blinked as Louise was staring at the ax inside her body, before her legs gave out and she fell at Alastor’s feet.

“ Louise!” Mickeal cried as he ran toward her. You raised your hand and created a shield around Mickeal, squeezing it around him until he couldn’t move a single muscle, he couldn’t even speak.

Alastor smiled at Mickeal as he crouched in front of Louise who was breathing hard. Well… She was the one who almost made him kill you by possessing him. She was the one who almost took the reason his sanity was still stable. She almost took his heart…

Eye for eye…

He cut open Louise’s torso, not caring about her scream of anguish. He almost wanted to taunt her, when he killed someone, he hurted them before their death. He wasn’t a coward that made postpartum injuries. He was capable of handling the scream, the cries, the begging… and never stopping. 

He took Louise’s heart from her body, showing it to her. She was nothing more than a human, maybe she had power from supernatural beings, but right now she was nothing but a human. He killed her like he killed all his precious victims. She was nothing more.She would be forgotten, she would turn into dust… All because she wanted to hurt you.  But well, she did make him learn a lesson about his self-esteem. His mother made him a gentleman after all.

“ Thank you for the gift.”

 Alastor stood up with Louise’s heart in his hand and walked toward the man.

“ Make it so he can move his head, dear.”

You did as he asked and watched with curiosity what Alastor was doing. He took Mickeal’s chin and forced him to open his mouth before putting the bloody heart against the man’s lips. Alastor managed to put some of the heart inside the man's mouth and forced him to munch and swallow it. He then asked, with a mad expression.

“ How does your beloved’s heart taste?” he asked with genuine curiosity. “ I’m the one who killed her, I’m the one who took her from you. How does it feel? Do you hate me ? Do you wish to join her in death? Did you appreciate her heart wholly?” he sneered at the man who looked at Alastor with pure fear.

He wondered, was he a monster since birth? He didn’t think so. He was just enjoying himself. He smiled when he saw Mickeal’s mortified face looking at him. Was he really scared of him? Wasn’t he the one working with the devil? 

“ If you don’t mind, I like to take souvenirs.” You smiled at him before taking his right eye from him. You didn’t seem to care about his screams, you just looked at the eye with a satisfied smile. Were you a monster ? No, you were an angel, a beautiful being that decided to share your life with him. Look at you, all bloodied and yet smiling at him with the purest smile on your lips. “ Do what you want Alastor, I’m done.”

He stared at the heart in his hand. That heart that belonged to someone else, that was making them live. He chuckled, the one who tried to hurt you, your happiness… that tried to take you from him. It was now meaningless. 

He approached the bloody organs toward his lips and bit it. He could feel the blood going inside his throat, the blood of someone who had tried to win against him. He bit harder on the organs, his teeth tearing the flesh, so he could munch on something. How success tasted good. This human who tried to stand against you, was now just some kind of food… He could feel himself getting stronger as he swallowed the flesh, turning his face toward you.

“ Do you want to taste it?”

You stared at the heart and shook your head. You pouted as Alastor stared at the heart with a new form of fascination. A selfish desire inside of him wanted you to taste this victory with him but he wouldn’t force you. 

“ You are crazy…!”

You looked at Mickeal who was shaking even inside of your shield. Alastor stared at him with a horrifying smile, looking as the front of Mickeal’s pants got wet. 

“ Well, well, are you that scared of a mere human when you worked with the devil?” Alastor asked, chuckling darkly at the man. He walked toward you but you turned your back toward him. “ Darling ?”

You gave him a dark glare but he only giggled before hugging you from behind. 

“ Why are you upset ?”

“ You bit into someone else's flesh.”

…

He could fall to his knees and ask your hand in marriage once more. Oh god, how perfect were you. He felt like he could kill a hundred men just for you. He would lose what’s left of his sanity if you asked him to. You weren’t disgusted with him, you were jealous because his lips touched someone else's flesh.

Oh gods, he needed to control himself. 

 You felt Alastor squeezed you harder, whispering darkly near your ear.

“ Do you want me to eat you?”

You shivered, looking into his red eyes. Did you want him to eat you until nothing was left. You would be one with him for eternity. You would live inside him forever.  His pupils dilated when he saw you weren’t disgusted with the idea. Did you also want to give your everything to him? Did you? Did you? Did you?Didyoudidyoudidyoudidyou–

You moaned when you felt Alastor’s teeth dig into your neck, making you cling to him. He needed to ground himself or he felt like he would lose all reason. You were crazy, darling, moaning while his mouth had tasted human’s flesh. You were crazy, just like him, a beautiful angel who decided to fall for him.

Alastor kissed the place he bit you, before going to Mickeal after taking your knife, throwing the heart away. He carved his usual smile into the man's flesh before killing him by slicing his throat.  He turned his head toward you with a small smirk.

“ Well, we should clean ourselves.”

“ And where should we do that, young man?” you asked, crossing your arms on your chest. Alastor guided you into the corridor and took you into a room and you gasped when you saw a bucket with water inside.

“ This is where they took their bath I guess.” He smirked at you as his hands began to undress you. He tilted his head when you were naked and walked away from him. “ My Love?”

“ Why should I clean with you? You bite someone else? Maybe next time you should carve runes into it, would you like that Mr.Sanglar?” you said, batting your eyes at him. 

Oh, darling, curse of sanity, blessing of his twisted mind. You were adorable. He wanted to dig his teeth inside your skin, marking you forever.

“ Still jealous, I see.” He said with a knowing smile. “ I would love to dig my teeth inside your heart my dear, feeling your heart beating against my lips, feeling your life inside my hands, being the one who can decide whether you live or die. I want to be the one who takes your life but at the same time… I don’t want you to leave me.” 

He could almost feel his member twitched while he imagined kissing your beating heart. Ahh… How lovely.

He looked as you sat, naked as the day you were born, blood decorating your beautiful form. You held your hand toward him, staring at him. You looked at him as he took your hand in his and kissed it. You were his beautiful angel…

You fell to your knees in front of him and hid your smirk when you saw his pupils getting bigger. You gently took off his pants without breaking eye contact with him. You are a little temptatious…

He didn’t need sex. He could feel it, he didn’t really care about it. But when you were here, giving yourself to him, it felt like something else. He wanted to control you at your weakest, he always loved when you gave him all control on your body knowing he was a monster in disguise. And yet, you never stopped kissing him, embracing him… 

As you were sucking his shaft, he couldn’t help but feel shivered. You were kneeling in front of him, just like those who were praying to their God for salvation. You were giving yourself. You were giving yourself to a monster, and you were aware of it. You were aware of his twisted mind. Yes , he was human, he had a beating heart, he looked human. 

But he wasn’t. He only stayed human because you were here. Because he knew you needed some kind of humanity from him. And he enjoyed giving it to you, because he knew that you couldn’t let him go. Ahh, were you his salvation? Or was he your salvation?

Who was in the right? 

Who was in the wrong?

He didn’t care, as long as you stayed by his side. As long as you accepted him. It was your fault he was getting worse and worse. If you really didn’t like his way, he would have hid it from you, he would have let you live this fantasy like a dream. 

But when he showed you a glimpse of his inner demons, when he opened the door a little so you could see a little of what was going on inside him, you slammed the door open and joined his monsters.

You didn’t try to stop him once, you joined his madness with your own. You embraced him, making him forget his fake humanity.

He gasped as he felt you licked your way up the shaft, savoring every last shred of skin and relishing in the flavor of him. 

He groaned as he stared at your eyes. How would others see you? Crazy? He would like to think that you see the both of you as unique. You were nothing like others. His threats were promises. And you accepted every single one of them. You were perfect.

You were looking at him like he was the best thing that happened to you. He chuckled darkly, how deeply did he taint you, he wondered. Deeply enough to make you pregnant with his child. A child that had half of his genes. Half of his madness… And you accepted it. Oh dear, you always accepted what he was giving you.

“ Darling… If you look at me like this…” he whispered in his deep voice, the one that he would never use for the radio. The one that was for you. And only you. 

You opened your mouth wider, staring at him, silently telling him to use you as he fit. He grabbed your hair and rolled his hips against you, his rhythm breaking as you felt him getting close.

What was bringing closer to his release wasn’t necessarily your skillful tongue on his member, but how you were looking at him, how you accepted the monster he was and worst, how you longed for it. Did you really think he didn’t know you always enjoyed when he was ready to lose his sanity because you were hurt? He knew you wanted him to be the monster he was.

How funny, he was the one trying to keep his composure for you and yet you were the one who wanted to see him being free of his chains that he placed on himself for you. You wanted the monster, you wanted him. You wanted him to kill, you wanted him to be crazy for you…

You temptatious wife of his.

You were crazy, you fell for him but what is horrible from the other’s point of view is that you fell for him, the monster he was trying to hide behind a cheerful smile. You fell for a monster and you stayed with him. You accepted him, around you, inside you…

“ Where do you want it?” he asked, panting.

‘ Inside. I want to swallow everything. ’

You vile creature… How dare you encourage him into caging you, making sure you would stay with him. He never was your Prince charming, the one who wished upon you when you were younger. The one you read about when you both were a child. He was the monster, the dragon that would keep you caged with him, killing anyone that would try to steal you from him.

Dear, you choose a monster willingly, you truly were crazy. But he wouldn’t change anything about you.

Alastor groaned and not a minute after he came inside your mouth. You closed your eyes as you took everything your husband had to offer. You gulped everything and opened your eyes when you felt him let go of your hair. You licked his slit one more time before leaning back, looking at him with a smirk.

“ Did you enjoy it?”

Alastor was looking at you before taking your knife and pressing it against your throat. You giggled as he smiled down at you. 

“ My turn, dearest.”

After two hours of making you scream inside the abandoned church, he decided it was time for you to get clean. He helped you clean yourself before taking care of himself. He knew he would have to take care of the body, furthermore he could feel new power awaking inside of him thanks to the two kills. He walked toward you and hugged you from behind.

“ Darling, why don’t you go to Alice’s right now? I’ll take care of the bodies.” Alastor whispered in your ear, his arms wrapping around you. “ You used a lot of your power today…”

“ What about you..?” You said, closing your eyes when you felt his lips against your cheek.

“ Me? Darling, I’m getting more powerful with each murder… I want to try those new powers on the corpses..” He purred darkly in your ear, squeezing your waist, his nails digging into your soft skin. You hummed when you felt his finger run on your skin before laughing as Alastor started to tickle your sides.

As your body twitched against his, you managed to catch his gaze. He was looking at you so fondly, so softly but there was still this glint, this madness that would appear when you were around him. How innocent you looked like this, laughing with a warm smile on your face because of him.

You kissed him to make him stop. He bit your lower lips with a smirk before stepping away from you. You smiled as your husband’s shadow gave you another dress. Alastor stared at you as he saw your expression turned grim. What were you thinking about… 

“ Darling?”

You turned toward Alastor with a relaxed smile. You kissed him, cupping his face between your palms. 

“ Then, I’ll wait for you at Alice.”

He nodded, staring at you until you left the room. He waited until he couldn’t feel you inside the church before getting dressed and walking toward the crime scene.

He smirked as he looked at the beautiful display. 

“ That was beautiful, Alastor. I’m impressed!” Kalfu said, clapping next to him.

“ I know. Now, about my powers? I can feel myself being stronger than usual.”

“ Of course. You ate some of my offerings.” Kalfu smirked at him. Alastor raised an eyebrow, he didn’t think about it. He just followed his pulsion… he frowned while Kalfu was laughing at him. “ So, I shall give you two powers because you really entertain me!”

Alastor crossed his arms on his torso with a smirk. Two powers ?

“ Isn’t it because two people have been killed tonight? You are rarely impressed by killing…”

“ Oh no, I would have given you four then!” Kalfu stared at him with a mocking smile. Alastor frowned, Kalfu was always laughing, lying, joking… His words never had heavy meaning, he always had to be careful with Kalfu. His words were like a sharp blade, depending on how you use it, you could hurt yourself. “ No, I shall give you two powers… One might be harder and more complicated to use, I don’t give it to anyone.”

Now that was interesting, Kalfu was known to be a bad spirit, but he wasn’t selfish with giving his knowledge or power when his protégée did something impressive. He didn’t find much information about people who once were Kalfu’s protégée, so he didn’t know much about his bound with the spirit.

Alastor looked at Kalfu who was staring at him with a condescending smile before Alastor stared at his hand that was burning. His eyes widened and he took a step back, staring at his hand. The flames were licking his hand, he could feel its warmth but it wasn’t hurting… But what was even more concerning, was that the fire was green.

He smirked as he observed the flames around his hand and then raised his hands, pointing to Louise’s corpse and the fire rushed toward the body, burning it until it became ashes. He chuckled as the flames disappeared when the body was nowhere to be found.

“ Useful. What about the second power?”

“ Impatient brat…” Kalfu smirked before giving him … a reddish cane? Alastor took the object, confused. The cane was light, he could easily manipulate around him. He looked at Kalfu who was pointing at the cane. “ Baron Samedi won’t like this power, just so you know.”

Alastor's eyes widened. If Baron Samedi wouldn’t like this power, that meant the power was about death.

“ My dear Alastor, my dear protégé, I shall give you this object that can contain souls. You can now cage  souls inside this cane. And if you wondered why a cane? Because Legba always had one with him, I only wanted to piss him off.”

Alastor smirked as he stared at the cane with a new form of interest. That’s why Baron Samedi won’t like this power, he had the power to trap a soul inside this object, which means they wouldn’t feel Death’s sweet embrace. 

He laughed maniacally, his head jerked back. What a useful power ! He would have loved to have this power when he killed his father! Trapping his father’s soul inside his cane, making sure he wouldn’t know how infinity rest felt like. He stopped laughing, looking at Kalfu.

“ What is the catch?”

“ The catch..? Heh,  So perspective, indeed, there is a catch. I don’t have to tell you but tonight has been really entertaining.For each soul trapped, you lose one year from your lifespan.”

Mhn… This power seemed more troublesome now… Furthermore–

“ Is my wife affected by it?”

“ I don’t have to tell you that, boy.”

Alastor rolled his eyes at the spirit, staring at the cane. Well, he could ask Baron Samedi for information, or Legba, he wouldn’t let anything happen to you. He sighed, giving the cane to his shadow who took it eagerly. He looked around before leaving this place. He didn’t have to clean it, there were satanic books everywhere, if the police were to come here, they would just say it was a sect.

He walked toward Alice’s house, staring at his hand with an amused smile. Well, he didn't know if he was going to use his cane but he was definitely using his green fire. Now that he thought about it, the fire’s color reminded him of Eamon’s glowing color..

He stopped in his tracks when he arrived toward the mansion. Something was wrong, definitely wrong. He vanished inside his shadow and rushed toward the house, sliding under the front door. He let his shadow darted toward Alice’s room, he could feel your presence there. 

He concentrated on your presence and he felt himself fall deeper inside his own shadow before standing from your shadow. He looked in front of you, and saw  a  fire going straight at him. He didn’t have time to think, he sent his own green fire, clashing against it to protect himself. He couldn’t see around you, where were you?

“ Well, Mrs. Sanglar, travel safely to hell.”

“ Not without me.”

You gasped when you saw a green fire clashing against Trey’s fire. Alastor stared at you, you were levitating in the air like you owned the place. You looked divine as you went toward him, leaving the air to fall toward him… But right now, he didn’t have time to be blessed by your beauty.

He looked in front of him and saw Trey Felleur. 

What as going on? How did this man manage to throw fire at you?

“ What is going on?” Asked Alastor, coldly. He stared at you, trying to find an answer in your eyes but as you saw his face you wouldn’t help but fall into his arms, grabbing at his arms, screaming in pain. 

“ He took her from us! He is the one that made our life so difficult!” You shouted as tears fell from your eyes.  Alastor was caging you in his arms, looking at Alice’s corpse on the bed. 

Alice was dead..?

It was a strange emotion he was feeling. He wasn’t sad, no, who do you think he was. But he was angry, from what he could see from Alice state, she had been slaughtered. She had been unfairly killed.

Alice was a useful person, she was also interesting when she wasn’t annoying… Who did it? Who killed someone that was useful to him?

Trey wiped the blood from his nose, smiling at Alastor like usual. He felt fury inside his body, he felt like he had been had, like a little boy who didn’t know adults were more intelligent than him. He was laughing at John’s stupidity and yet right now, he felt just as stupid. He didn’t understand what was going on. Trey killed Alice? But , why?

“ Oh, Mr. Sanglar, what a pleasure to see you.”

You lifted your head as you heard police’s sirens, you could even see the sirens light from the windows. You looked at Alastor, confused. Was he the one who called for the cops? But he answered you by telepathic, saying he didn’t. Why would he ask the police to come when he was ready to kill once more tonight.

You heard footsteps running toward the door, Alastor was keeping you against him and then you saw them. Two policemen slammed the door open with their gun aiming at everybody in the room.

“ Police!”

He almost wished for your father to be one of the officers but no, the one that was in the middle was John. Damn it, Alastor wanted to kill everyone in the room. Was he that blind since the beginning ? Did John and Trey play him like a puppet? For how long?

“ Well, Alastor, why are you here– You..” John seemed surprised to see you there but he quickly collected himself. He walked toward Trey and then froze when he saw Alice’s body in her bed. He put his hand on his mouth, color draining from his face. “ A-Alice..?” he asked, his voice shaking, walking closer to her corpse.

When he saw her state he closed his eyes and turned his head away from the scene. He seemed really affected.

“ God… What happened here..?” He asked Trey, his voice firm.

“ I don’t know. I was away for business, but when I came back home, my wife was already in that state.” 

“ Check the house!” John asked his subordinates before looking at you and Alastor. “ What are you doing here?” He asked, his voice cold. “ Killing your father wasn’t enough, you had to kill Alice too?”

“ Oh, so, my father has been killed? I didn’t know. And for Alice, pray tell, why would I have done that?” Alastor spat at John, looking at him with vicious mockery. It was impossible for John to be this clever, he couldn’t. The real danger was Trey Felleur.

 You walked toward John and took his hands, your voice shaking. He could see his cheeks turned red. What were you trying to do?

“ John… Trey was the one who killed her…” You said, your eyes wet. His eyes softened as he looked at you. 

“ Sweetie… I know.” Alastor almost scoffed. “ I know Alastor is forcing you to do things. He did voodoo stuff on you, right? Don’t worry, I’m going to protect you.” He stroked your cheek.

You felt like there wasn’t any escape. You slapped his hand away, frowning at him, your eyes shining with fury.

“ What are you talking about?” you spat at him, walking back toward Alastor.

“  You won’t go to jail, you might go into a hospital but–’’

“ Don’t talk about my wife. Don’t look at her. Don’t even think about putting her into a hospital because she is too clever for you to understand.” said Alastor as his arms went back around you. “ Call competent policemen to find Alice’s murderer.” He needed to be alone with you so you could explain what the fuck was going on here!

“ I will find them.”

“ Like you find my father’s?” spat Alastor with a mocking grin. “ Get out, John.” Alastor took your hand, watching as John was taken away by his subordinates because they found the butler of the home. You looked at Trey who was staring at Alastor with a calm smile.

“ I can’t wait to hear about my wife’s death in your next broadcast, Alastor.”

“ I can’t wait to speak about your death in my next broadcast, Trey.” said Alastor, full of himself like always. He needed to control the situation. But he was sure of one thing, his next victim would be Trey Felleur. He never saw you so heartbroken, he never felt so lost in a situation… He would make him live a living hell.

 Alastor carried you in his arms before leaving the room. You looked at Alice one last time, your eyes getting wet once more.

Alastor walked down the stairs and stopped when he spotted the butler who was crying, sitting on the sofa. You left Alastor’s arms and walked toward the butler, the one who had taken care of Alice since she was a child.

The butler lifted his head when he saw you and before you couldn’t realize it, he was hugging you while sobbing. You cried with him, hiding your face in his shoulder.  Alastor stayed back, he knew you were feeling a pain no power could heal.

“ Please,” he begged, “ find the one who did this and make them pay.” He sobbed against you. “ Alice wasn’t perfect… But she was… she was…”

You crushed him against you as Alastor answered for you.

“ We will find them, and get rid of them.” He said to the butler. The man nodded before stepping back and giving you a letter. 

Alastor carried you in his arms and walked away from the house surrounded by police’s car. He didn't know why, but he started to remember moments with Alice. From her first introduction where she was shy in front of him, to her last goodbye, asking you to come back to her.

She always wanted to try the newest fashion, she wanted to make him shut his mouth, saying his voice was a punishment from Hell, yet you always told him she would put the radio on when it was his broadcast when she was with you.

She was always pestering him with questions, asking him if killing was a hobby or a need. She was like an annoying… sister that would always open her loud mouth.

He wasn’t sad, he was just remembering her.

He vanished in his shadow with you until you were home. It was the first time he managed to do this on such a long distance. He put you on the sofa, carefully, never letting his eyes straight away from you.

“ I’m going to prepare a bath for you, okay, darling?” he asked.

You nodded slowly before looking at the letter.He didn’t know if you should open right now, he already guessed it was the name of Alice’s baby. You opened it under Alastor’s vigilant gaze. You took the paper and began to read.

My dear friend,  As you know, I’m pregnant! Alyzée and myself are looking for a name, and of course, you know I’m the best for nicknames. But to name a baby is another situation! I want my girl, because I know it’s going to be a girl, to be proud of her name. So I first thought, I should give her my name. But Alyzée said it was maybe a little too narcissistic of me… Bizarre, right?  So I thought a lot, and I wondered, as my baby godmother, as my best friend, would you accept if I named my baby after you?  Your best friend, Alice Richemont Ps: I know I made you read the letter in front of me, but I wanted to see your reaction ! I hope you will cry because I will! 

You cried once more, as Alastor hugged you against his torso. You couldn’t stop crying, even when Alastor was kissing your cheeks and eyes. He could only hold you as you were breaking down. He didn’t really know why, he wasn’t sad, he wasn’t… But as he hugged you against his torso, he couldn’t help but feel disappointment that he wouldn’t banter with Alice anymore.

6 March 1927, Alice Richemont, his most useful ally was taken away.

The next months were hard for you. He could see it. 

Alice’s funeral was pretty with all those flowers, there were many people, he wasn’t surprised Alice was this liked. Everyone was crying, even Trey. This man had such skills in acting, that was impressive. 

He stayed with you during all the funerals, he could feel how weak you were. You insisted on seeing Alice one last time in her coffin. He could see how your lips were wobbling, how your eyes were always full of tears… Trey would pay for that.

You had explained everything to him, how Trey was the stalker from your teenagehood and everything he did. He felt such anger when you told him this, he felt like an idiot. He should have seen the sign and yet…This man had manipulated him for too long. He couldn’t bear it, he was almost tempted to cage his soul inside his cane but he didn’t… after all, with all of this, he did not find the time to tell you about his new abilities.

When they lowered Alice underground he put his hand on your eyes,  whispering in your ears.

“ Don’t show darling. Not yet.” You nodded at his words. He knew you were burning with hatred, last time he saw you like that was maybe when you both fought against his father.

After the funeral, Alastor drove you home and your usual three spirits were waiting for you.

“ Little lady… I’m really sorry.” uttered Papa Legba, his usual warm smile no longer on his face. He really seemed sorry that you were experiencing such pain..

“ Were you… the one making me.. levitating?” you asked, as Alastor made you sit on the sofa and went to make you a hot chocolate while listening to the conversation. 

“ As Alastor is  getting stronger, your power also goes up. Not as powerful as Alstor, but still impressive for you. Levitation is a new skill of yours. I did help you. I didn’t want you to use too much energy and pass out with this new power of yours.”

Alastor sat next to you, placing his hand on your knees, his eyes never leaving your form.  He wasn’t surprised you were able to control the air. Since you were a child, you would always run like the wind was carrying you. 

He was trying to tell you about his new abilities through telepathy but you eyes stayed closed, it was like your mind was out of his reach which scared him. He knew you could hear him so why…?

Please, look at me…

You turned your face toward your husband whose body relaxed when he saw your eyes on him.  You gave him a small smile but he would take it. He was worried about you, he didn’t want you to vanish because of someone else.  Trey would pay, you didn’t have to worry about this.

After a small talk he looked as your shadow touched its belly with a sad face. Immediately you reacted, asking about your baby's well being. 

“ It is safe.” Baron Samedi said, confident with a small smile. “ I healed it.”

Alastor smirked, now that was interesting. Baron Samedi didn’t have any protégée… yet. But what if he decided that your baby shall be his protégée. The fact that he healed it without asking anything in return proved his point… But he wasn’t sure, maybe he really did it because he wanted it.

“ I told you, didn’t I? I don’t like children dying. They should live for as long as they can. I won’t ask anything in return, it was a selfish wish.” 

Well, if he could use his baby to have some control over Baron Samedi that would be perfect. Maybe his child could influence the spirit to give him more power over the cane that would caged souls.

“ And Alice’s baby..?”

Baron Samedi sat on the floor, smoking his cigar. He was the spirit that was handling the dead, he was the one saying that this person could die, or this person should stay on earth. Your question was interesting, why save your baby and not Alice’s? He tried to hide his grin, he was sure of it. Your baby would be Baron Samedi’s protégée.

“ Because her soul wasn’t mine to collect.” Baron Samedi sighed. “ The baby and.. Alice’s soul has been used for a ritual. That’s what I felt. Trey earned more power by this kill… Even if I think he only wished for the child’s death.”

“ And you can’t do anything about it?” Asked Alastor.

“ I could. We all can. But this is a silent law, if a soul is spoken for, you don’t touch it. The soul has to reach for you for us to be able to do something.” Baron Samedi sighed. “ I don’t even think Samael knows he has souls that are spoken on his name…” 

Alastor thought about it, Lucifer owned souls from what Baron Samed said, but he wasn’t aware of it? How could such a powerful being be so… Ah nevermind, right now he needed to focus on you. After talking with the spirit he took you to the bathroom and ran a warm bath.

Alastor asked you if you wanted him to stay with you, if he should take a break from work but you kissed him, saying you shouldn’t show any kind of weakness about Trey. He stared at you before smiling at you.

“ Let me handle it. At least, let me do my hunt alone.” He whispered against your naked skin. You closed your eyes before nodding. For once, you let him all the cards, he would do as he liked, no matter how cruel his methods were.

He asked Mimzy to make sure she kept an eye on the Felleur, after all, John liked to come to her bar with friends to drink. Alastor was sure he just came to drink to forget you weren’t his. How pathetic.

Months after this nightmare your belly had grown bigger, and you felt your baby move inside of you. The first time it happened, you screamed so loudly that Alastor almost tripped as he ran toward you. His shadow was already at your side, snarling at everything and anything. 

His eyes were burning red as he entered your room and you gestured him to come closer, placing his hand on your belly. He seemed confused, still smiling, but when he felt your baby kick, he gasped, taking back his hand. His shadow, though, was eagerly touching your stomach, with childish curiosity.

Did you scream because the baby move? Don’t scare him like this ever again.

Alastor’s eyes were wide, his stare not leaving your belly. You giggled as he touched your belly once more. He was so lost, you both created something that was living. He was curious about what the child would look like. 

During all those months he took care of you, and investigated Trey, from his childhood to his wedding with Alice. He would stay in his office and write everything about the man. Trey was a very pious man, he gave a lot of money to religious buildings, he would always go to church on Sunday.

The perfect religion man.

He groaned. He couldn’t find anything about Trey… Nothing ! He slammed his fist against his desk. How can this man be so perfect… He was the perfect white gentleman, nobody would try to stand in front of him.

Nobody but him. How he couldn’t wait to kill him, showing him he is nothing but a human against him.

Now, he hasn't killed anyone since Alice’s death. He was focused on Trey, yes, but Alice was also the one who would give him names about the people in the high sphere that were destined to be killed by him. With Alice’s death, his contact had vanished…

Well, almost.

The spies Alice put in the police were still there, and they were faithful to him. 

“ Seems like you are still useful, even in death, Alice.” He sighed with a smirk. Even dead, if he used her name, doors would magically open. He asked her spies to keep eyes on Trey but his most useful spy was the butler in the RicheMont’s house. The one who asked you to find the murderer.

Alastor sent him a letter to meet him and the man agreed. When he asked him if he could count on him to spy on Trey, the old man nodded with a determined gaze.

“ Alice was just like my own daughter. I’ll help you as I can Mr. Sanglar.”

He had a pawn inside Trey’s own house, he had pawns in the police and he had pawns inside the administration. Alyzée was still his ally, more than ever after Alice’s death. With all of this, he knew he was going to make Trey fall.  He knew Trey would slip. He wasn’t perfect, he was a human being. He would make an error and then,

Échec et Mat.

He discovered that Trey was the one behind his possession. It was not the christian couple, the eye he saw was a power from Trey. But he hasn't tried anything since then. Why? And furthermore, what was his new goal? Alice was dead, his reason for living was dead, why was he still alive?

He sighed, putting his face between his hands. From his investigation of the man, the only thing that could explain he was still alive was that he wanted to take revenge on him and you. He did everything to have Alice, but it ended up with her death. He must think you were the one that created this situation…

Now, the question was, was John with him on that. His spies in the police told him that not too long ago, John said he went to Alastor's mother's house and found human bones after digging into the forest. 

Alastor knew it was his father’s bones but John couldn’t use that against him. He trespassed again on a property that didn’t belong to him. But he would have to be more careful, John was getting closer to finding more clues about his murders. 

He looked at the clock and smiled when he saw it was time for him to go home. Finally, he couldn't wait to feel your arms around his body. He drove back home, the windows down, enjoying the wind on his sweating skin.

He parked his car and smiled when he saw you with his mother. He hugged his mother before kissing your forehead. He drove her mother to your mother’s place where she was supposed to eat.

His mother told him that she began to work with spirit once more. He didn’t ask her to stop or keep going, his mother had relations with other spirits, as long as she took care of herself, he would never stop her from reaching to spirits.

He drove back home and entered your house. He walked toward the kitchen and smiled when he saw his shadow helping you cut fruits. He walked toward you and hugged you from behind, kissing your neck before lifting slightly your belly. You moaned when you felt the weight being taken away from you. 

You turned your head toward him to ask him but he kissed youYou turned around and crapped your arms around his shoulder, kissing him back with the same gentleness he was giving you.Aah, how he loved coming back to you after a day of work.

“ Mhn?” He looked at his shadow. “ John was here?”

“ Oh, yes… Let me tell you.”

You both sat on the sofa in the living room, eating your salade de fruit, Alastor already giving up his bowl to you as you already finished your second bowl while telling him what happened. He knew you enjoyed this, and you didn’t want to ask him for his share of fruits. So, he would just give you his bowl when he could see you were still hungry, saying he wasn’t hungry anymore.

“ He didn’t. How could he think I did this all alone? I was helped by an angel.” He said, smiling as he kissed the back of your hand

“ An angel, huh?” you smirked as you ate from Alastor’s bowl.

“ A fallen angel then. I saw you flying high in the sky… you seemed so out of reach, you seemed to enjoy yourself…So of course, I had to drag you down to me so I could admire you closer.” He smirked down at you. “ You didn't really try to run away, dearest…”

“ Well, maybe it was because I saw you down there. I was curious, you looked almost as proud as if you could fly yourself. So when you decided to take me, I accepted because I didn’t want to fly in a sky where you weren’t.” You smiled at him.

His pupils dilated before he squeezed you in his arms, being mindful of your belly. You laughed as he bit your shoulder and your neck. You vile temptress… Saying those words that made him want to cut his name in your flesh…

“ Alastor… How is our child going to be? I wondered…” You looked at the ceiling as you felt your husband’s hand on your belly.

“ Mhn… Let's say. for their own good, they should have your innocent face so they can easily trick people. They should have my way with words. Darling, you are too emotional sometimes, so they should have my patience…” He mused as he looked at you.

“ Mhn… Are we going to show them Voodoo..?”

He wanted it. If his observations weren’t wrong, he knew Baron Samedi would take your child under his wing, making them his protégée. It would be very useful, it would make you both more powerful. And from his research, to kill Trey and John, you would have to have more allies in the spirit realm.

“ Mhn… I… Would you?” He asked you, his voice a soft whisper. He hoped you shared his view for your child’s future…

“I would.”

“ Well, that’s perfect! Because I think they should work with Kalfu because–”

“ No way Alastor, our baby isn’t going to work with Kalfu.” you said, looking at him in the eyes. He almost pouted which seemed to  make you grin.

“ But, they would work with a powerful spirit,” he mumbled. “ don’t you think? For their security?” Would you let your child work with the man who had power over death..?

�� They could work with Papa Legba.” You said, with a happy grin. Alastor rolled his eyes at you, making you laugh. Of course, you wanted them to work with Legba… You kissed his cheek and you both kept talking about your child’s future until it was time to go to bed. You took Eamon with you and walked toward your bedroom. Since your pregnancy, you were always hugging your plushie… How cute.

 Alastor laid next to you in bed with a book in his hand, reading. You closed your eyes and fell asleep with a little smile.

You woke up with a gasp, soaked in sweat. You sat up as you groaned in pain. 

“ Darling?”

Alastor stared at you, surprised. It hadn’t been two hours since you fell asleep. He watched as you took the blanket off you and he couldn’t help but swear.

“ Fuck…”

The bed was wet…so wet.. between your legs… What did his mother teach him already… Oh yes, did your water break?

“ Water, my Alastor broke!” you screamed, completely scared out of your mind. 

Ah, he was confused but he didn’t break completely, dear.

He sended his shadow to take what you would need in the hospital. Blanket, food, Eamon, anything. He kneeled next to you when he saw your panicked face.

“ Alright darling, breathe with me okay? You're okay, you are splendid.”

“ Alastor!” You screamed in pain.

“ Of course.” He stood up and carried you in his arms, running toward his car, being mindful of your shaking form. He scoffed when he saw his shadow panicking, taking everything with him– Did it just take a candle? Whatever, he didn’t have the time for this.

Alastor placed you in the car and drove to the nearest hospital while trying to calm you. He looked at his shadow which gave you Eamon as you screamed in the car. His shadow looked so scared, it was cute. But hearing your screams of pain was making him panicked. He knew that giving birth wasn’t easy, but giving life shouldn’t take a life in exchange !

“ Where is it?” you shouted.

“ What? What is where?” asked Alastor as he kept a hand on your knee and the other one on the steering wheel. What were you talking about? Did he forget something? DShould he send his shadow–

“ My shadow !” You cried, squeezing Eamon against you so hard he was wondering if you could break it.

“ It’s not important right now, darling.” said Alastor, his smile strained. Why were you thinking about your shadow right now?

“ I want my shadow!” You hollered. He drove faster, were you losing your mind? 

Alastor stopped in front of the hospital, left the car before taking you in his arms and running inside the building. The nurses took care of you but asked him to stay outside the room. He stared as the nurses disparear inside the room where he could hear your screams.

He chuckled, his smile widening. Did they really think he would stay here while you were screaming in pain. He walked toward the door, ready to bashed it open until he heard you.

“ Where is my husband?” You yelled. “ Bring him here!”

He took a step back and smiled at the nurses who had asked him, a moment ago, to stay here. He walked toward you once he was inside the room, taking your hand in his. You were sweating so much, how was he supposed to know if everything that was happening was normal?

“ Alastor..!” You cried as he kissed you multiple times before kissing your hand.

“ Darling, no matter what happened… Stay here for me.” He pleaded with his eyes. He didn’t know what was happening, you were screaming, the nurses were running everywhere and he was…

Useless.

“ I will stay…” You choked out those words.” I won’t leave you..” 

He hoped you would curse him with your words. You would stay by his side, forever and ever. Your existence was meaningless without him, and it was the same for him.You both wouldn’t live without the others. Was that a weakness or your force, he didn’t know, he didn’t care.

If someone told him he was at his weakness because he was with you, he would kill him to prove him wrong. You were making him so strong, you were… You were at his side.

 You will be by my side.

‘ I will stay, nothing will separate us. ‘

“ She is bleeding too much, call the doctors!”

He wanted to punch the nurses. She was making unwelcomed noises. His grip on your hands tightened, if he had to choose between you and the baby, he hoped you wouldn’t be mad at him for choosing you. His forehead was against your forearm. He didn’t know what to do. What should he do?

 Nothing can tear us apart. I dragged you on earth with me. You are my only light. You are my sanity.

“ Miss, please just a little more! Don’t give up!”

You never gave up. You would never give up, right? As long as he was breathing next to you, you didn’t have the right to give up. He broke your wings so you couldn’t fly away from him.

‘ I joined you… Because I wanted to live this life with you… And the next one too…’

 Darling..?

‘Alastor…’

His hand was shaking. You wouldn’t leave him. You didn’t have the right. From the moment you came inside his home when you were a child, from the moment you kept pestering him so you could be friends, from the moment you accepted to kill his father with him, from the moment you accepted to be his wife… You cursed yourself each time you made those decisions, you couldn’t run away now.

Alastor… We have a girl…

Alastor’s head jerked up and he stared at you with his eyes wide open. He stared at you and only you.  He didn’t care about the baby right now, he needed to be sure you were okay. When he saw you smiling, his body relaxed and he kissed your forehead, pushing his lips against your skin, his body still shaking a little.

Alastor then looked at the baby in your arms. 

“ She has my eyes…” Alastor whispered, astonished. It was strange… seeing something that he always saw on himself, on somebody else.

“ You seem surprised…” you whispered, your voice hoarse from your screaming.

“ No… it’s just…I mean.. The way they shine… It’s definitely from you. “ You watched as your husband looked at your daughter.  How strange. His daughter… had his complexion, the same eye color.. Yet, the way her eyes were shining reminded him of you. Was that the definition of a child? 

“ She is beautiful, how should you name her?”

You looked at Alastor who was staring at you. You both have talked about multiple names depending on the gender of your baby.He knew what you wanted to name your first child. When you first told him, he was confused. Naming a baby after someone who died.. But then, he began to think about it.

Alice was the first one to encourage you for this relationship, she accepted the both of you when he told her he killed his father. Naming his child after a dead person… Naming his first child after one of the people who made an impact on his life… didn’t seem so bad. 

My child, might you be as useful as she was.

“ Yes… she shall be named…Alice.” 

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