#she's mad at cori. but she's gonna look and she's gonna love cori anyway.

[scionshtola]

from the touch prompts: 12. on a scar; or 18. because you are dying :>

ty azia!! this one really sent me on a spiral this week adkfd

the pain of perception

pairing: Corisande Ymir/Y'shtola Rhul word count: 1292 | read on ao3 notes: i went with 18. because you are dying. 5.0 spoilers!

Y’shtola has always found Corisande difficult to look away from, some inexorable pull between them perpetually drawing her gaze. She turned toward them as a blossom sought the sun, unfurling in their light and basking in the warmth of it. Even when Y’shtola lost her sight and the world lost its color, Corisande’s familiar aether was more than enough to draw her in, their countenance so dear to her that it hardly took any effort at all to pick out their features.

In the grand entrance hall of Emet-Selch’s recreated Capitol building, the light Corisande emanates is not the kind Y’shtola wants to bask in. They are a beacon of aether, so bright they blur the forms of the other Scions gathered around them. So bright the light lingers even when she closes her eyes, a ghostly blur haunting the back of her eyelids.

She watches them as they take their leave of the others and turn toward her, seeking her out as surely as she sought them. They cross the hall, the soft click of their boots growing louder as they approach. 

“The others are nearly ready. Ryne only wants to charge a few more cartridges for Thancred before we start on our way,” Corisande says, gesturing at the others over her shoulder, gathered by the door that leads deeper into the building. She lifts her hand, starting to reach for Y’shtola, but stops herself halfway, arm falling stiffly to her side. ‘Tis difficult to make out, but Y’shtola thinks she might be clenching her fist. “I came to see how you fared.” 

Y’shtola holds back a sigh, her jaw clenched against the sharp pain in her chest at the aborted gesture. In the three years she’d spent without them on the First, she had so missed the easy physical affection between them. A reassuring squeeze of her wrist, a gentle hand on the small of her back, a soft brush of their thumb across her cheek. Touches she had at times wished Corisande would not make, if only to spare Y’shtola the misery of her endlessly growing feelings. 

But she’d been wrong to think it would spare her any pain. Since their reunion—that near disastrous moment when Y’shtola had mistaken them for a sin eater—Corisande has, for the most part, kept a careful physical distance between them. Every deliberate step back, every halted reach for her hand, left her far more hurt and confused than any touch that had ever led her to hope for more. 

That they keep their distance even now, when losing themself to the light is becoming less a potential threat and more a rapidly approaching reality with every passing moment, is more than she can bear. She reaches for their hand in their stead, pressing their cool palm to hers. “l have no preparations to make. I will be ready when you are.”

Corisande tips their chin, head tilting down in the direction of their joined hands. Y’shtola holds fast, hope swooping through her stomach, her breath caught in her chest as she waits. But rather than pull away, they squeeze her hand, and the ache in Y’shtola’s chest is eased as she finally exhales. 

Corisande lifts her head in Y’shtola’s direction, her familiar features—the heart shape of her lips, the curve of her nose, her downturned eyes—just as obfuscated by the light as the rest of her body. There was a time that Y’shtola could have known what Corisande was thinking just by a simple shared glance. Now, though she could make her best guess, she could never be sure what was written in their expression. What Y’shtola might give to see the curve of Corisande’s gentle smile once more, before they venture toward a battle that could change her forever. 

Y’shtola glances down at their hands, still pressed palm to palm between them. Corisande had not shied from one touch—perhaps she would not shy from another. 

Do as your heart decrees, Y’shtola had told them, only moments ago. Without hesitation or regret. 

Y’shtola raises her free hand to Corisande’s cheek, heartbeat a loud, steady rhythm as she moves. They lean down ever so slightly to meet her, their hair falling over her arm, the ends of it brushing lightly against her sleeve. She stills when their fingers wrap gently around her wrist, thinking they mean to tug her hand away, but they simply hold on.

“Is it difficult? To look at me? To—” Corisande’s grip on her wrist tightens. Their voice is soft, almost fragile to Y’shtola’s ears. “I know the toll a surfeit of aether takes on you. It must be exhausting just to have me near.”

“‘Tis not easy,” Y’shtola admits, though it pains her to say it. Corisande knows the truth already—the abundance of their aether is difficult for Y’shtola to process with her aether-fueled sight—and Y’shtola would not lie to her besides. 

Worse than the harsh glare of their aether, though, is the damage the light has wrought on their soul, battered and bruised as it struggles to contain the light. For all the distance that Corisande has kept between them these past few weeks, they could not hide the depth of the wound from Y’shtola. While she knew Corisande would prefer it, Y’shtola saw no kindness in pretending otherwise—she would not turn from them when they were in pain, no matter how much it hurt to see. 

Y’shtola sweeps her thumb across the swell of Corisande’s cheek, and hopes she’s looking her in the eye when she speaks again. “But I would no sooner look away than I would leave you to face what lies ahead alone.”

Corisande’s smile blooms under Y’shtola’s palm—cheek curving upward, the quirk in the corner of their lips where they’ve turned into her touch, the crinkle of skin around their eyes—and she answers with a warm smile of her own. Corisande sweeps a finger across the inside of her wrist, and after weeks—years—of so little contact between them, the deliberate touch feels monumental, as much a relief to the longing inside her as it is a catalyst for a desperate desire for more. 

“Shtola,” they say, the newly restored warmth in their voice reigniting that flame of hope in her. The one that made her long for Corisande’s soft touches, that made her think Corisande has always felt about her the way she feels about them, the one that never quite went out. “I—”

They cut off with a soft whimper of pain, lurching forward with a grimace. Their grip clamps down sharply where they hold Y’shtola, fingers digging into her wrist and the back of her hand, and she feels the hold as if it were a vice around her heart, pressed under the weight of their pain. The light inside them surges, brightening and straining against their soul as Corisande struggles to stay on their feet, and then it fades.

“Are you all right?” Y’shtola asks, keeping her tone neutral though she feels anything but, unable to even blink away the image of the surging light. Corisande straightens, her expression smoothing beneath Y’shtola’s hand. 

“Well enough,” she answers between breaths, her voice thin. She squeezes Y’shtola’s wrist, then gently tugs her hand away from her face, though she does not completely release her. “Perhaps we had better be on our way.”

“Of course.” Y’shtola expects Corisande to drop her hands, but they hold on to one as they pivot, placing themself at her side. 

The door that will lead them to Emet-Selch looms before them, the others still gathered in front of it. Whatever they face beyond it, whatever Corisande’s heart decrees, Y’shtola would not turn her gaze. They would face it together—perhaps not hand in hand, but side by side.

[wildcatofgreen]

⚰️👪🧱😱

headcanon memes; comfort character edition

"Woof, that's uh... That's a lot, chief! I mean, can't say I'm mad but stones.

"I mean, let's get at 'em I guess? Can't be that bad."

[ ⚰️ ] what are your muse’s greatest regrets? what would flash before their eyes when they’re on their deathbed?

"Nope. It is that bad. Right off the bat. Fuck.

"I mean... ugh, Iunno. Still kinda banged up about the Lyli thing. Wish we both said somethin' sooner. She's still my bestie--dun't get me wrong, but damn, if I jus' told her back when Sony left for the first time I think a lotta that drama could'a been avoided.

"An' dun't even get me started on the drama. That shit makes me regret even lovin' Lyli in the first place. That I could throw away my damn husband like that, 'cause of some stupid shit I did. Spirits above, that had'ta be my second biggest fuck up.

"First bein' lettin' Lyli run off on her own. Lettin' her get hurt like that. If I fuckin' knew she was gonna get tortured I would'a never fuckin' left her. Not for a second.

"If she asked me 'ta come with her 'ta help her dragon stuff I would'a, honestly. I know I got so much here in Shang Tu, but I was jus'... waitin' for her 'ta say somethin'. Anythin'.

"But. She wanted 'ta go alone. An' I'm okay with that. She's with Merga, apparently. She's got good company. She'll be okay.

"But that torture shit... I think seein' Lyli so burnt and hurt, that'll be what I see before I die. Constant reminder of how bad I fucked up that day. Swear I regret it every day.

"Eugh."

[ 👪 ] what is your muse’s relationship with their parents like? was it always this way?

"They're dead, dickweed. I ain't ever know my parents. One thing closest to 'em was my sis and she fuckin' left.

"Most I know about 'em is that they loved me. That's what Cory tells me whenever I ask."

[ 🧱 ] how would you describe your muses’ morality? what are their core values?

"I--... Iunno. Like.

"I... Iunno!!! Like, I know my cores--if ya see someone in danger, help 'em. No stealin' from people who look like they need the money. Dun't bully people unless they're asshats an' they deserve it. No killin'.

"But my overall morality...? I jus'... I ain't got a clear answer for ya. I try 'ta be good, I guess. I'm like, a hero, right? So, I gotta be good. It's apart of the job or somethin'.

"Don't hurt no one who don't deserve it. Help your friends out. Be good. That's... that's what I stand for, I think. Jus'... bein' good."

[ 😱 ] does your muse have any specific fears? where did those fears come from?

"Nah, I'm completely fearless. Jus' another great quirk of Carol the Wildcat~.

"Haha... yeah I'm jokin'. I ain't... as scared of death as I was before--I can thank Bapho for that--but it still kinda... messes with me. Jus' ain't somethin' I'm ready for--ain't somethin' I feel like I'll ever be ready for.

"An', I guess I also got a 'lil fear of... Iunno, people leavin' me? That... that one feels new. But it's scary, bein' all alone. No one there 'ta help ya, no one there 'ta even talk to ya, even if it's negative. I'd take a conversation with someone who sucked charlies jus' so I could talk 'ta someone, if I ain't have nobody left.

"I can't stand bein' alone. I really can't. Not even for a fuckin' second, it's just... it's awful. It makes me get this pit in my stomach and I feel that empty feelin' again and it makes me not wanna speak 'ta anyone anyway but like I wanna speak 'ta someone but my thoughts keep tellin' me that ain't nobody wanna speak to ya in the first place an'--

"Iun't... Iun't wanna think about this no more, man. This fuckin' sucks. This fuckin' sucks real bad.

"Fuck."

[o-wise-corvid]

Chapter 4: Take Up Your Blade

“And that’s when Kali and Shriek took him down.” Rex grinned, the pride on his bruised face evident. “Rend’s still in the other medbay raving like a lunatic. Also, he took two live blaster bolts, so he’ll be down for a while anyway.”

Gaia smiled, her split lip pulling a little where it had scabbed over. “Papa shouldn’t have done that.”

“He was well within reason,” Rex defended, eyes growing dark. “Rend was gonna kill you. You’re Sunshine’s Squad Leader. He couldn’t just let that happen. Not in a training op.”

“It could raise suspicion about his feelings for us,” she explained, shifting a little at a catch in her side.

Rex’s expression turned worried and he started to move but then it was his turn to make a lined noise. His left arm rested in a sling; Coris had fractured his forearm during the fight.

“You should’ve heard the chewing out he gave to the lieutenant who had gotten the sim ready. No countermeasures against the use of the Force, no med-pack caches. No plan to prevent an incident exactly like the one that happened.” He sighed, shaking his head. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say Rend somehow rigged the whole thing. He didn’t count on us knocking him out immediately.”

Gaia settled back into her pillow, feeling tired but also worried. Papa loved them all in a way that was strong, like a tight hug, and she knew how she had felt seeing him injured or hurt before. But her love for him was that of a child to their father. What would it be like to love a child? To feel responsible for what happened to them and then watch them be beaten bloody on a battlefield?

Rex continued, absently staring at Gaia’s knees as he brought up his memories. “When the lieutenant tried to disqualify Shriek and Kali for using the force to defend themselves, Buir told him he’d have his rank for nearly killing the best soldiers in the Imperial Army and forcing them to break the rules if they wanted to stay alive. But... way less polite. Like I thought he was going to strangle the poor guy.”

“But he didn’t. That’s... that’s good.”

Rex nodded. “Yeah. He’s been really busy while you were out. Barely comes back to the barracks to sleep. Said he’s working on something. He looks... older.”

Gaia just nodded, not sure what else to say. Rex read the heavy droop of her eyelids and smiled, standing up from the chair he’d pulled over when he’d arrived. “Get some sleep, vod.” They smiled at each other as Rex walked out; Gaia always did like to hear Mando’a even if she didn’t speak it much herself.

She leaned her head back, letting her eyes close. She didn’t want to sleep, but her body was so weary that all she felt like doing was lying still. It was quiet in the barracks, everyone else was trying very hard to give Gaia the quiet and rest she needed. She’d only just come to that morning, having slept for two days straight.

Between bacta injections and even more sleep, Gaia was ready to get up and walk in a week. Her body cramped in odd ways whenever she first stood up, making her hobble around like an old woman for a few minutes before the pain let go.

She was about to go cabin crazy anyway. The others had tried to keep her company as often as they could without spending too much time not doing their daily exercises, spending allotted time in the library and being seen not worrying about their sister.

But Cody’s absence was the the most pointed of all her many discomforts. Gaia had spotted him ducking into his room a few nights in a row, and had heard him speak to the others, but he’d avoided her. She didn’t know how to take this. Cody had always been there, always present, if not in body then in words or gestures.

She walked into the training yard with a carefully closed expression only have it falter into a grin as startled, disproving and then excited exclamations rose from her brothers and sister. They surrounded her, seeming afraid to touch her in case it might hurt. Gaia yanked them all into a tight group hug, ignoring the twisting feeling in her sternum.

Rex’s arm was almost healed as well and he slung it around her shoulders warmly. He stank of sweat but she didn’t care. They were all alright and back together. The way it was supposed to be.

“I was beginning to wonder if you be in that bed forever,” Shriek said with a laugh as she messed his feathery brown hair.

“We broke the bench record,” Soren reported brightly, motioning to the weight station. “259.”

“Oh ho. Looks like I got up just in time then.”

“Cadets. Report to the hangar bay.” Cody’s voice carried the familiar sour note that he always used for the public, but Gaia suddenly felt a twinge of worry that something she had done might’ve made this time more real.

“Come on,” she said and they filed out of the training yard.

The hangar bay was empty, not one ship occupying the wide space. It was quiet as a tomb, no noise of business anywhere. The only person waiting for the squad was Captain Cody, his expression unreadable. There was a table beside him with a long black rectangle set atop it. Gaia couldn’t tell what it was; there were no seams or locks of any kind on it.

“Attention.” Gaia’s voice cut the stillness of the room like a rifle blast.

Cody eyed them all for a long moment, and then took something from one of the pouches on his belt. It was a mini-holo projector. Gaia felt a hopeful little flutter that Gaia immediately recognized. He fiddled with it for a second and then his voice spoke out of it. “Get your back straight, Cadet. Soldiers have fought for weeks on end without so much as a bacta patch with worse than what you got.”

Cody set the thing down on the table and then stepped to the front of the line, next to Shriek. He spoke low, leaning down so that his mouth was right next to the boy’s ear. Shriek stood at strict attention, but Gaia saw the shine of tears in his eyes. Cody gestured behind himself at the table and Shriek nodded.

Shriek hurried over to the glossed black thing on the table and passed his hand over it. There was a soft click somewhere inside it and a seam of white light split it across the middle. The top half of the split smoothly slid upward, folding backward to reveal several objects within.

Gaia felt Shriek’s surprise and then sheer joy hum in the Force, fighting to contain her unconscious smile as her brother turned and gave Cody a stunned look. Cody silently chuckled at the boy, eyes crinkling up at the corners. Rex was right. He did look older.

He nodded encouragingly to Shriek, who reached in and pulled out a sleek black cylinder with an emitter affixed to one end. There were soft grips around the thing, giving it a slight curve. A cold hiss and then hum, much louder than that of a stun baton, filled the air as a beam of golden light shot from the emitter. Shriek’s mouth fell open as he inspected the lightsaber, turning his arm and making a few mock attacks before sheathing it. The grin on his face was blinding as he paced a little and then bounced on the balls of his feet excitedly, unable to express what he was feeling.

Cody’s recorded voice was still bellowing rancorously from the projector but his face was almost glowing as he walked further down the line. Kali beamed and drew out two shoto blades, each no longer than her own forearm. They were golden as well, fitted onto sturdy black hilts that Kali easily clipped onto her belt. She covered her mouth with her hands and twirled before hugging Cody around the middle.

Soren and Rex went together. Cody helped Soren put on new gauntlets, stepping back so the boy could try them out. He unsheathed the lightsabers and cut them down in an X, just as Rex activated his double sabers and spun them about himself gracefully.

Finally, it was Gaia’s turn. Cody walked over to her, his expression becoming troubled. When he leaned toward her to speak in her ear, Gaia noticed how careful he was not to bump into her accidentally. “How are you?”

She met his eyes and nodded. “Are you okay?”

A half smile curled his mouth up but his eyes stayed hollow. “I’m fine.” But then he seemed to shake off whatever was haunting him and straightened his shoulders a little. “Go over to the box. Yours is the last one.”

Gaia wanted to feel worried about Cody, and she was, but knowing now what the box contained, she couldn’t ignore the excitement pounding in her veins. She stepped over quickly and drew out a saberstaff.

“Give it a workout,” Cody encouraged, eyes wrinkling at the corners. Gaia grinned and spun the weapon over in her hands. The blade ignited, sending a subtle hum of energy down through the staff. She sprang back from the box and the table, whirling the staff over her head and then striking at either side. The noise that the blade madness it cut through the air around her was electrifying.

Cody pulled Gaia close before she returned to the line and held out his hands for the staff. He took it and twisted, breaking the long pole of the thing in half. “Wear them the way you would a baton,” he instructed. “Both halves will emit blades,” Cody added with a whisper.

“Thank you, Papa,” she told him, feeling her throat tighten.

Cody regarded Gaia for a moment and then pulled her into a hug, motioning for the others join. “I am so proud of each of you,” he whispered, dropping down to one knee which was something Cody liked to do so that he could see all their faces better. His voice continued to shout from the holo, but it was just noise. “Your have each earned this; no one Cadet your age has ever earned a lightsaber. Be proud of yourselves.”

He stood and smiled. “You should go and get familiar with your new weapons,” but he touched Gaia on the wrist, a silent cue to stay. Cody stood and watched the others hurrying out excitedly.

“What’s wrong?” Gaia whispered, searching his face. Stress was written plainly on the man’s face and his hands were clenched into tight fists behind his back.

Cody’s posture deflated so much that he seemed to shrink. “Come here,” he muttered, scooping his arms around Gaia and hugging her close with a wavering sigh, though his motions were careful and he didn’t squeeze too tight. “Does it hurt still?”

“A little.” Gaia’s breath hitched a little and she hid her eyes in Cody’s shoulder. “You’re not mad at me, are you?”

“Mad? Why would I be mad?” Cody pulled back so he could see her face and made a pained sound, looking away for a moment. “No, no, no,” was all said, shaking his head as he dropped down to one knee and gathered up her hands.

“You weren’t there,” Gaia sniffed, swiping her arm across her eyes, “when I woke up.”

“It’s one thing to watch grown soldiers get hurt, baby girl.” There was a definite break in his voice toward the end and Cody had to pause, searching quickly for something else to look at. “I couldn’t stand it. I’m so sorry.”

Gaia put her hands on Papa Cody’s shoulders. In the Force, she could feel the anxiety churning inside him like a stormy ocean, threatening to spill over his barriers at any moment.

“There’s something else.”

He dropped his head, eyes closing as if he were readying . “You’re being deployed.” The words seemed to cost Cody something to utter. Fear screamed at her through the Force, stealing her breath.

“We are ready.”

Gaia’s own voice surprised her. She sounded older, like a grownup. She straightened her back, hoping that she looked brave. She didn’t want Cody to be afraid or to worry. She wanted him to proud.

“I’m not.”

“We’ll come back. I promise, Papa.” She cupped her hands around his face, making him look at her. “I’ll bring them all back. I promise.” The fear inside her Papa didn’t lessen but the gnaw of it in his chest did. That was good.

A sudden thought hit Gaia and she laughed. “You shot Rend.”

Cody’s face split into an eye-crinkling grin. “I sure did. He’s lucky I was careful with my aim.”

They walked out together after Cody gathered up his holo. “Would you have killed him? If he hadn’t went down?”

Papa slowed, slipping the disc into a compartment on his belt. Before he slipped his helmet back on, Gaia caught the dark shadow that had spread through his expression. In the Force, she felt the bloom of rage. “Absolutely.”

[calpalirwin]

Stamp of Approval

Summary: Vanessa’s world meets Ashton’s.

A/N: My newest hyperfixation. If you ever have any ideas or questions, I will HAPPILY make those requests come to life. 

Word Count: 4.2k

And away, and away we go!

__

“So, when do I finally get to meet Mase? Or when do I get to take you over to meet my friends?” Ashton asked after four months of coffee dates mixed with a handful of actual nights out.

“Ash…” Vanessa said, taking a sip of her coffee to avoid answering.

“I know. You have to ease Mase into the idea. But I’m dying to meet him. Finn too. And my friends are dying to meet you both. Y/N especially because she doesn’t have a lot of mom friends.”

“I can’t do both at once, Ash. Mase can meet you. And I can meet your friends. But I can’t have Mase meet you and your friends on the same day. That’d be too much.”

Ashton nodded in understanding. “No, yeah. I get that. Sorry, I don’t mean to put you on the spot.”

“No, I know you don’t. I’d love for you to meet Mase. Maybe you can come by next Saturday. I usually take him to the park aft-“

“After grocery shopping, yeah. Yeah, that’d be great. Is that enough time for Mase?”

“Oh, yeah. As long as we still go to the park it should be okay.”

He leaned across the table to give her a swift kiss. “I can’t wait, baby.”

~~~

“Hi, my sweet boy!” Vanessa cried out happily as Mason rushed over to her.

“Momma,” he greeted, pressing his forehead into her chest as she crouched. 

“Yes, sweet boy. I’m Momma.” Four months later that word still warmed her heart, similar to the way it warmed Finn’s when Mason said “Daddy.” He had yet to say any other words beyond his parents’ names, but neither of them cared. “Did you have fun with Daddy?”

“Daddy,” Mason nodded.

“Anything new?” Her question was directed at Finn.

“Nope. Same old, same old. He switched from yellow to brown so we’re back to pancakes and chicken strips.”

Vanessa let out a sigh of relief. “If I see another box of macaroni…”

Finn laughed. “Yeah. How’re things with Ash?”

“Good. He wants to meet you guys.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. So I was thinking I’d introduce him and Mase on Saturday, and then maybe have Ashton join us for dinner after?”

“Yeah, that works for me.”

“How are things going for you?”

He shrugged. “Not really trying all that hard. Maybe after this one makes their appearance.” He nodded at her baby bump.

“Oh yeah… I can’t imagine that going over well. Hot, single dad, sure. But mention the pregnant baby momma, and it’s game over.”

“Exactly,” Finn laughed. “But it’s whatever. Can’t all get lucky, and find love in a coffee shop.”

“Who said anything about love?”

Finn laughed more. “Nobody had to say anything. I know you, Ness. I know what you look like when you’re in love with someone. And I’m betting he feels the same way. ”

“Then why hasn’t he said it?”

“Why haven’t you?” Finn countered.

“Because our worlds are about to overlap. And if it goes wrong, I’d rather not have admitted how I actually feel towards him.”

“Well there ya go. And maybe it doesn’t have to be said right now. Like you said, your worlds are about to overlap. That wouldn’t be happening if you felt just okay about each other.”

“Thanks, Finn. You should become like a therapist or something,” she teased.

“Ha-ha, very funny.” He rolled his eyes and threw one of his fries at her.

~~~

All week, Vanessa prepared Mason for meeting Ashton. “We’re gonna go to the park, and meet one of Momma’s friends, okay?” she told him and watched as he nodded with his baby doe eyes.

“Okay, sweet boy, you ready to go to the park, and meet Momma’s friend?” she asked him on Saturday after lunch. 

Outside! Mason pointed excitedly out the window.

“Yeah, we’re gonna go to the park and play. Can you go find your shoes for me?”

The little boy made a mad dash for the shoe rack, grabbing his rain boots which were still his favorite. He sat down on the floor and tried his best to tug them onto his feet. “Momma!” he grunted, pulling at the little straps at the top.

“Okay, ready?” she asked, her hand hovering above his leg.

“Momma,” he nodded frantically, needing the boots on now.

She held his leg with one hand and used her other to push the bottom of the shoe on his foot. “Alright. Other foot. There we go! Okay, we’re already to play now. Let’s go.”

Ashton was waiting against his car when Vanessa pulled into the spot next to him. “Am I ever going to get somewhere before you?” she joked as she got out and went around to the backseat passenger side to get Mason out of his carseat.

“Probably not,” Ashton grinned. “But that’s okay. 1.) you’re worth the wait, and 2.) you got a pretty good excuse.”

“Ha-ha, very funny,” she quipped as she unclipped Mason and helped him down.

“Momma,” Mason gasped, pointing up at Ashton and moving behind her leg. 

She placed her hand securely on her son’s shoulder, letting him know everything was okay. “Yes, sweet boy. This is Momma’s friend, Ashton. Can you say hi?”

“Momma,” Mason mumbled with uncertainty, but moved out from hiding fully behind his mom.

“Hi, Mase.” Ashton crouched down on his heels. “Whoa! Are those dinosaurs on your boots?! Super cool!”

Vanessa gasped, crouching down with Ashton. “He likes your boots, Mase. You sure you don’t wanna say hi?”

Mason laid his forehead against Ashton’s arm. “Aw, are you giving Ash a hug, my sweet boy?” Vanessa asked, her voice high with encouragement.

“Momma,” Mason nodded, pointing at the playground.

“Yeah, we can go play now. Hand, please.” She laid her palm out for her son to take, but to her surprise he made grabby hands at Ashton while whining. “Yeah, Ash is coming with us. C’mon, hand please.”

Mason stomped his foot and repeated grabbing at Ashton, the whine angrier.

Ashton held out his hand and Mason slapped his little one into it. 

Vanessa damn near cried.

~~~

“Daddy!” Mason shrieked, pointing at Finn and tugging hard on Ashton’s hand.

“Yes, I know you’re excited, but look, Mase,” Vanessa told him, pointing out the cars in the parking lot. “See the cars? We have to be safe.”

Mason tugged at Ashton’s hand again.

“Yes, you are holding a grown up’s hand. Good job. But we can’t run because it’s not safe.”

“Da-dddy!” Mason told her, making an angry face.

“We don’t run in parking lots,” she enunciated each word slowly.

Mason wailed.

“One of those days, huh?” Finn asked, crouching down as the couple made it safely across the parking lot and Mason barreled into him.

“No, actually. He’s just mad I wouldn’t let him run across the parking lot to you.”

“Hey,” Finn told his son sternly, putting his hands on either of the boy’s shoulders. “Did you see the cars?” He waited for Mason to nod his head. “We don’t run where the cars are, Mason.”

Mason pointed angrily at Ashton before grabbing Finn’s hand.

“Holding a grown up’s hand doesn’t make running okay, Mason.”

The two year old let out another wail, this time turning to Vanessa for sympathy. “You can be mad,” she told him simply. “Finn, this is Ashton, my boyfriend. Ash, this is Mason’s dad, Finn.”

Both Ashton’s and Vanessa’s hearts raced at her openly calling him her boyfriend as he shook Finn’s hand. “Nice to meet ya, mate.”

“Yeah, same. Nessa’s told me a lot about you. How’d meeting this one go?” Finn’s hand dropped down to rest on Mason’s head who quickly swatted at his dad’s hand with his signature angry whine.

Ashton looked over at Vanessa as he rubbed at his neck. “Not too bad, I think.”

“Yeah, it went pretty great actually. Mase gave him a hug, and held his hand.”

“Ah, the Mason stamp of approval.”

“Exactly,” Vanessa smiled.

“So you think Mase’ll be okay meeting all his friends and stuff? That’s like what? 4 more adults, the little girl, and the dogs, yeah?” Finn thought out loud, trying to remember what Vanessa had told him about Ashton’s band family.

“Yep,” Ashton nodded. “Well, 5 adults because Lily’s dad, Cory would also go.

“I think he’ll be okay as long as we let him know,” Vanessa said.

“Yeah,” Finn agreed. “I mean, it’s worth a shot anyway, right? Ash, figure out a day that works for you and everyone, and Nessa, we can rearrange our days if it's a time I have him.”

“Oh, you’re invited, too,” Ashton told the other man. “Y/N’s very big on if it’s a family get-together, then it’s the whole family.

“Oh…” Finn was taken aback. “That’s uh… yeah, that’s cool. That actually might help Mase more too, having three people there he’s comfortable with. Shit. Yeah. Uh, any weekend should be fine then.”

“Momma!” Mason said, tugging at Vanessa’s hand before pointing at the restaurant.

All three adults' eyes went wide. “Yeah, Mase. We’re gonna go in to eat right now,” she told him before turning towards the men. “C’mon, we can discuss details of this family get-together of Ash’s over dinner.”

~~~

“You excited for tomorrow?” Ashton asked Vanessa as they sat in her small kitchen a couple weeks later. The plan was to spend the day at Calum’s BBQing and swimming.

“Oh yeah. Mase is a little water bug. He’s gonna love it.”

“That’s great,” Ashton smiled. “Fuck, everyone’s excited to meet you guys. Cal’s going crazy making sure he has stuff that Mase will eat. Luke and Y/N have been telling Lily all week that she’s gonna meet some new friends.”

“Aw!” Vanessa blushed. “You guys are too sweet. Tell Cal not to worry too much about it. I’d hate for him to have bought all this food for Mase, and Mase switched what he likes to eat again.”

“Oh, that’s why Cal went crazy overboard with food. Gonna be a fuckin rainbow display,” Ashton chuckled, showing her the picture Calum had sent him captioned “Yeah?”

“Oh, shit!” she laughed with him. “Yeah, he definitely didn’t have to do that. But that was really sweet of him.

“Yeah, that’s Cal for ya.” He leaned over to give her a deep kiss. “So, how do you want to spend today?”

“Mmm,” she sighed against his lips. “Can’t just kiss a girl like that, and then ask her what she wants to do.”

“And what happens if I kiss you like this?”

~~~

“Momma!” Mason said excitedly, tugging at Finn’s hand urging his dad to walk faster. Then, in confusion, he looked at Ashton and then up at Finn. “Daddy?”

“Tomorrow, bud. Swimming tomorrow. With all our new friends,” Finn told him.

“Momma,” Mason pouted, leaning his forehead against Vanessa as she crouched to give her son his hug.

“Yes, hi, my sweet boy. Did Daddy tell you what we’re gonna do tomorrow?”

Mason nodded, flapping his arms at his side.

“Yeah, that’s right! We’re gonna go swimming tomorrow. And we’re gonna have lots of fun, I promise.”

Mason pointed at Ashton before flapping his arms again and pouting.

“Tomorrow,” Finn reminded the boy. “Sorry, I’ve been telling him all week that the next time he sees Ash we’re gonna go swimming with new friends,” he explained to Ashton and Vanessa.

“No, it’s not your fault,” she brushed him off. “I know you’ve been telling him that. I didn’t even think about dinner tonight. I’m…”

“Whoa,” both the men told her as her brain spiraled, Ashton wrapping an arm over her. “Pregnancy brain. Shit happens,” Finn said, ushering them all inside the restaurant. “Mase is still super excited for tomorrow. Had a pretty good week, too, didn’t we bud?”

“Did we?” Vanessa asked, excited to hear all about Mason’s week.

~~~

Mason couldn’t sit still in his carseat on the drive over to Calum’s. Vanessa had a hell of a time getting him ready because he hadn’t stopped jumping since he woke her up at seven.

Mason’s rain boots thudded against the back of her seat. “Ow, Mason,” she scolded lightly, turning around in her seat while Ashton drove. “I know you’re excited, but be aware of your space.”

“Momma. Daddy?”

“Yes, you’ll see Daddy.”

“We’re here,” Ashton announced, pulling into Calum’s driveway. “And looks like we’re the first ones.”

“Okay, Mase. You ready to meet Calum and Duke?” Vanessa asked as she helped Mason down from his seat.

Her reply was a jump and an arm flap.

“Yes, swimming. But we have to try to say hi first, okay? You want to hold my hand or Ash’s hand?”

Mason flapped his hand against Ashton’s.

“Alright, bud,” Ashton smiled down at him, reaching for Vanessa with his free hand as they walked up Calum’s drive to his door. “Cal, it’s us, mate!” Ashton called out loudly, before letting go of his girlfriend’s hand to push his way inside Calum’s house.

Duke came skiddering out from around the couch, his nails clicking against the floor. Mason gasped, tugging at both Ashton and Vanessa.

“It’s okay,” Vanessa told him, crouching down and letting Duke sniff at her hand. “See?” she said, petting Duke’s head. “Good dog.”

“Oh, yeah,” Calum spoke up, crouching down across from Vanessa and helping her pet Duke. “He likes to be pet right here,” he directed Mason, his fingers scratching behind Duke’s ears.

Mason looked at his mom, sticking out his tongue and pretending to pant like a dog, pointing at Duke.

“Yeah, this is Duke. Do you want to give him pets?”

Mason slowly reached out pat Duke’s head.

“Good job, buddy!” Vanessa praised.

Ashton cleared his throat. “Uh, Cal. This is Vanessa, my girlfriend. And this is her son, Mason.”

“Yes, right,” Vanessa said, straightening up. “Hi!”

“Hi,” Calum grinned. “Nice to finally meet you. C’mon, I’ll show you the backyard so this one can get to swimming.”

Mason’s head snapped to attention at the word “swimming.” “Momma?” he asked.

“Yeah, sweet boy. You ready to go swimming?”

“Momma,” he nodded, then pointed at Calum. “Momma?”

“This is Calum. He’s gonna let us swim in his pool. Do you wanna say hi?”

“Momma,” he shook his head, reaching for Ashton’s hand.

“So, when’s everybody else getting here?” Ashton asked as they all walked through the house to the backyard.

“Mike texted that he was leaving just as you guys pulled up. So he should be here pretty soon. And Luke and Y/N had to stop by Cory’s to get him and Lily. Is Finn coming? It’s Finn, right?”

“Yeah,” Vanessa nodded. “He should be here at some point. I know he was gonna try to get some work done first.”

“Oh, what does he do?”

“He works for a counseling service. Trying to be a therapist.”

“Oh, shit. And what do you do?”

“Financial advisor.”

“Damn,” Calum whistled in appreciation, nudging Ashton’s arm. “Sure know how to pick the smart types, don’t ya mate?”

“Shut up,” Ashton muttered, his cheeks turning pink.

Mason gasped, his hands fluttering at his side as he saw the pool. “Momma!”

“Okay, we have to put sunscreen on first though,” she told him, grateful she had to sense to already have him dressed in his swim shirt and trunks.

He tugged down on his hat.

“Yeah, you gotta keep your hat on too.”

He pointed at his pool floatie resting at the top of their bag.

“Yep. Floatie too. But sunscreen first.” She reached into the bag to pull out the blue bottle.

Mason scrunched up his face.

“I know you don’t like it. But you still have to wear it. See?” She pointed up at the sun. “It’s hot.” She touched her arm. “Ouch.” She shook the bottle. “No ouch.”

He kept his face scrunched.

She sighed and dug around in the bag for the spray on sunscreen. “Do you want this kind? It’s faster.” She sprayed it across her own arms, legs, and face. “See? All done. Mase’s turn.”

He flinched away, but let her spray it on his arms and legs. When she held it up to his face, he blocked her with his hands. No! No, face!

“Okay, we’ll use the lotion for your face.” She grabbed the other bottle and squirted a little bit of it into her hand. She smeared it across her son’s nose, cheeks, and forehead, using her thumb to rub it in while he whined. “Yeah, I know you don’t like this part. But I’m almost done. See?” she pulled her hand away and rubbed the excess lotion across his neck. “All done. Now we can swim.”

Mason jumped excitedly.

“Yeah, we got to take off our shoes and put your floatie on.”

Mason was happily playing on the second step of Calum’s pool, Ashton sandwiched between Calum and Vanessa as they all sat on the ledge, when the back door opened and a blonde man with two dogs stepped outside. “Hey guys!” the man waved.

“Mikey!” the men greeted, nodding their heads.

Mason gasped, water droplets flying up when his hands hit the water. “Momma!” He pointed at Michael and the dogs.

“Yeah, more friends! You wanna go say hi?”

Mason shook his head, splashing at the water again. No, thanks. I’m swimming.

“Oh, hey there, buddy!” Michael cooed, coming to sit by the steps of the pool where Mason was. “You have dogs on your shirt! Do you like dogs too?”

Mason pointed at his Paw Patrol swim shirt and down at his matching trunks.

“Oh, you’re right! There’s doggies on your shorts too! Do you see the doggies over there?” Michael pointed to where Duke, Southy, and Moose were lazing in the shade.

Mason followed where Michael was pointing, and splashed at the water excitedly. Then, much like he had when he first saw Duke, he stuck out his tongue and panted at Michael.

“Yeah, those are the doggies!” Michael beamed at the boy. “I brought their toys so we can play with them later, okay?”

Mason nodded excitedly. “Momma!” he said, pointing up at Michael’s hair.

“Oh, you like my hair?” Michael asked, taking off his hat and ducking his head down.

Mason tentatively reached out a hand to touch Michael’s blond hair, shrieking in delight.

“Yellow’s his favorite color,” Vanessa explained. “He likes you.”

“Yes!” Michael pumped his fist in victory before flipping off Calum. “Suck it, Cal!”

Calum rolled his eyes. “Oh, piss off. Luke’s hair is the same color. And it’s curly. Your victory is short lived.”

Almost as if Calum willed it to be so, Luke strolled into the backyard, one hand helping swing Lily back and forth between him and his girlfriend. “Hey, guys!” Luke greeted cheerfully. 

The little girl, clearly much more comfortable around everyone than Mason was, let go of the hands helping her swing and took off running for Calum who swooped her up in a bear hug. 

“Momma!” Mason pointed at the yellow floatie hanging off of Cory’s arm who was a few paces behind the couple. 

“Yes, it is yellow,” Vanessa agreed, pulling her feet out of the water and standing up with Ashton.

“Nessa,” Ashton started to introduce. “This is Mike, Luke and his girlfriend Y/N, Y/N’s daughter, Lily, and Cory. Guys, this is my girlfriend, Vanessa and her son Mason.”

The three men nodded at her with a polite “hello.” Y/N wrapped Vanessa in a hug, with a “Oh, it’s so good to finally meet you! So nice to have another girl around, too.”

“Hey!” all the guys pretended to be offended, Luke even crossing his arms and pouting.

“Oh, you’re all great, hush. Lily, look. We have a new friend. Do you want to come say hi to Mason and Vanessa?”

“Hi,” the little girl said shyly, waving at them from where she was situated on Calum’s hip. 

“Hi, sweet girl,” Vanessa smiled at Lily. “Mason, do you want to say hi to your new friends?”

Mason splashed at the water, shaking his head. No thanks. I’m swimming.

“Swim too?” Lily asked, her eyes enviously watching Mason splash about on the step. 

“Yeah, Lily. C’mon let’s get your sunscreen and floatie on so you can swim with Mason,” Y/N said, holding out her arms to take Lily from Calum. 

Vanessa watched as Y/N was able to get Lily ready to swim with much less needing to explain every step of getting ready than she had needed to use for Mason. In a matter of moments, Lily was on the step with him. “Hi,” she said in her little voice, offering a toothy grin. 

Mason stepped back from her, looking around for help. “Momma?”

“I’m right here, sweet boy,” she answered, sitting back down along the pool’s edge. “This is Lily. She came here to play with you.”

He pointed again at her bumblebee floatie.

“Yeah, I see. Lily, Mason wants to say he likes your floatie. Yellow’s his favorite color.”

“Shh,” she said, pointing back at Mason. 

“Yeah, he is quiet. He doesn’t talk like you do,” Luke told her, sitting with his feet resting on the first step. The rest of the adults had also mingled their way back dipping their legs in the cool water, Ashton’s arm wrapped around her shoulder. 

Mason pointed excitedly at Luke’s hair, taking notice of the man’s blonde curls. “Momma!”

“Ha! See, I told you, Mike,” Calum gloated.

“What?” Luke laughed.

“Mike thought he was finally a favorite uncle because Mason likes his hair. I said he didn’t stand a chance against your curls.”

Luke laughed again, and shook his hair for Mason’s benefit, who squealed his delight. “Mase, gentle,” Vanessa warned as he reached for Luke’s hair. “Yep, just like that,” she kept talking as Mason softly patted Luke’s head.

“Aw, such a good Lukey,” Ashton, Calum, and Michael teased their youngest band member, making all 7 adults snort with laughter.

“Hello?” Finn’s voice called out loudly from somewhere inside the house.

“Out here, mate,” Ashton called back.

“I tried calling,” Finn explained as he presumably made his way through Calum’s house to the backyard. “Hope it’s okay I let myself in.”

“Daddy!” Mason shrieked, splashing water everywhere, causing Lily to shrink back and cover her ears.

“Shit, sorry. My phone’s in my bag,” Vanessa apologized.

“Nah, no worries. Door was open, thankfully.”

“Guys, this is Finn. Finn, this is everybody,” Vanessa introduced.

“Hey,” Finn flashed a smile while everyone offered up their names to him.

When Ashton didn’t join in the round of introductions, Calum piped up in a teasing tone, “Aw, c’mon, Ash. You’re not gonna introduce Finn you Vanessa, your girlfriend?”

Heat rose in Ashton’s cheeks as he flicked his foot in Calum’s direction, sending water flying all over his friend’s trunks. “Shut up, Cal…”

Vanessa laughed. “Aw, don’t be like that, he’s only teasing.” She leaned into Ashton. “Plus,” she whispered low so only Ashton could hear her, “I really like you introducing me that way.”

“And I like introducing you that way, baby.”

“Well if he won’t do it,” Calum grumbled playfully. “Finn, have you met Nessa by any chance? She’s Ashton’s girlfriend.”

All the adults, with the exception of Ashton, laughed. Ashton kicked his foot with more force, soaking Calum in retaliation. 

“Oh, you’re dead, mate.” Calum’s tongue clicked in his cheek as he stood up.

“Let’s see what you got,” Ashton taunted, standing up as well.

Calum gave chase and the two men raced around the pool.

“A fine example you’re setting for the kids!” Y/N scolded as she pushed herself up and away from the pool

“Honestly,” Vanessa agreed, following suit. “One of you is gonna trip and fall…”

“You mean, like this?” Ashton asked, before fake tripping next to Vanessa, wrapping his arms around her, and plunging them both into the pool as she squealed, “Ashton!”

~~~

After a surprisingly easy battle plucking two water happy toddlers from the pool for food, Cory, Finn, and Michael all slowly excused themselves home for the evening.

The remaining five adults lounged about in their respective chairs, chatting quietly while Lily, who had curled up on top of Luke after showing Mason how to play with the dogs, and was on the verge of nodding off. 

Mason, still on his towel in the grass, threw the ball one last time for Duke before wandering over to Ashton chair. He tugged at the man’s hand to get his attention. “Yeah, bud?”

Mason pointed at Lily and then at Ashton, before trying to climb up on the chair with him.

Ashton helped Mason lay across his chest, wrapping the boy securely in his arms, the way he had seen Vanessa hold him on the few occasions Mason allowed himself to be held.

Vanessa watched their sweet moment, and when Mason’s eyes started to close, she couldn’t hold it in anymore. “Ash?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m in love with you.”

Ashton grinned at her. “I’m in love with you too, baby.”

She moved to squeeze his hand in hers, freezing when Mason stirred. “Papa,” the little boy murmured, patting Ashton’s chest. 

Ashton and Vanessa’s eyes both went wide as they held in their celebration at Mason’s statement for fear of startling him. “Yes, I love you too, Mase,” Ashton whispered into his hair, before kissing the top of the sleeping toddler’s head.

__

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[letterstothemidnightsociety]

THAT’S RIGHT BITCH! It’s October and I am still watching and inexplicably blogging about Supernatural - a dinosaur of a television show that’s been on the air longer than most children I know have been alive. 

I know I’m An Old because I don’t think kids these days understand the struggle it was watching television before streaming. We had to wait for episodes. Hell, I don’t think kids these days even really have to wait for seasons. I mean, Voltron premiered on Netflix in 2016, capped off their seasons at 13 episodes a piece and, oh yeah - aired seasons 5 - 8  all in 2018. Was I mad about that? No of course not. Do I also say phrases like “kids these days? Yes, so who even knows if what I think is relevant anymore. 

Alright, so speaking of seasons, last time I looked at pilots and pilot seasons and how the streaming era is changing everything we know about starting a TV show. But once you’ve got your pilot down, now what? 

Not this kind of pilot. Also, based on the prerequisites for demon possession, we’re all agreed this co-pilot’s like, an alcoholic, right?

There’s a rule in TV (sort of) that the first six episodes (some might argue the first season entirely) should be a kind of rehash of the pilot. The pilot sets up your premise and once you’ve got your pilot down, your job as a TV writer is to re-establish that premise over and over again. You’re building your world, you’re writing it’s rules. You’re setting up a template, a formula for how your episodes are gonna play out. This helps your audience get to know the characters, get familiar with your world, get comfortable spending time with them. Essentially, you’re getting your audience to trust the show that they’re going to be tuning in to for at least the next 20-some-odd episodes. 

I’d also argue that this is important so that later, you can break that format later. I’m not saying you should break the trust your audience puts in you, and that’s probably a real fine line of distinction. But if you break your rules right, it can hit the audience with a big emotional sucker punch. Or, it can stand out as a real breakout, tentpole of an episode - I’m thinking specifically about Ghostfacers! In season 3, or Once More, With Feeling, from Buffy. Those episodes work, really work, because they deviate from the formula, but they only work because we know the formula so well.  And these aren’t big changes to the way episodes are done, they’re just shifted ever so slightly that they felt new again.. 

So what is the premise of the first four episodes Supernatural? What’s the formula they set up for the rest of the series? 

Brothers. I said it in my last post, I’ll say it again, Sam and Dean/Jensen Ackles and Jared Jared Padalecki are what makes this show. Full stop. I think we could have gotten 5 seasons out of a show starring two other dudes. I do not think this show could have gotten 15 seasons with two other dudes. So from the pilot through Phantom Traveler, we learn that Sam and Dean have a sh*tty home life - their mother was killed by some mysterious evil thing and their father raised them to be little demon-hunting child soldiers while they look for the killer. Oh yeah, and Sam’s girlfriend died the exact same way which we will never forget because Sam’s gonna have a dream about it almost every episode from here on out. We set up the tension between the brothers - that Sam got to go to college while Dean stayed with their dad like a good boi. We learn that everybody hates each other probably because they are deeply and unhealthily codependent love each other so damn much. 

Next we get the basic rundown of the season arc: 

Dad’s on a hunting trip and he hasn’t been home in a few days. The Winchester brothers are looking for him and by extension, looking for answers as to what killed their mom/Sam’s girlfriend. We also get the basic rundown of every episode: dad is a mysterious and elusive sonuvuabitch, so every episode they go about, say it with me now:

“The family business.” I would also accept “Killing as many evil sons of bitches as I possibly can,” but why can’t I find a gif for it?!? 

Backtracking on this but you know what else gets hecking established with the Winchesters? Sam is the cute one with the people skills and the puppy dog face, so you’d naturally assume that he’s the soft one. No. Not the case. Dean is the Sofffft Boi. The SOFTest boi. Dean wants Sam to talk about his feelings, Dean wants Sam to not keep things bottled up, Dean is the one who desperately wants to keep a hold of his family and also is just deeply broken and traumatized on the inside and oh no, I told myself I wouldn’t do this but I did it anyway. Sorry not sorry. This watch, I’m really picking up on the fact that Dean is, weirdly, the Mom Friend in this first season. Like, he’s basically a Trailer-Trash-Teen-Pregnancy Mom who’ll give you spaghettios five nights a week and a shot of whiskey so you’ll quit yer bitchin’ and go to sleep faster, but he’s the Mom nonetheless. Later in this season and in other seasons, I think you even see him do his dumb-baby-best filling in as the Mom when John went off the deep end. Anyway, I have a lot of feelings and we don’t have time to unpack all of that so I’ll just move on.

RUDE.

Next we set up our Supernatural Bag of Holding - what’s in it? What are the mystical artifacts they use to kill those evil sons of bitches? First up is The Car. Damn, I am not a cars girl, but that 67 Chevy, it does things to me. 

This car has some weird pavlovian trigger for me, it’s not NATURAL. 

The journal. 

John Winchester, you journal the way I imagine a psycho killer journals and I would just really appreciate it if you could be ANY MORE ORGANIZED THAN THIS.

The Trunk Full of Weapons - I love that in these first few episodes (and possibly the rest of the series???) they give this HELLA conspicuous look every time they open the trunk full of weapons. It’s hilarious EVERY TIME.

No, you’re not being obvious at ALL, guys.

The Fake ID’s - from credit cards to impersonating feds, these boys are not afraid to break the law to save some lives and I feel like that’s...that’s the theme of the show maybe? They’re here to save people and they’ll do what they have to to do that? In a world that clearly establishes a dark vs. light/good vs. evil dichotomy, the Winchester make it their job to live in a world of grey? Basically? 

Next on the checklist for this first season of Supernatural - it’s spoopy. *Spoop mileage may vary.* I said it last time, but I’ll say it again: this first season aired at 9:00pm at night. That means it’s primetime stuff for the 18 - 25 year old crowd, but they don’t want to risk some 13 year old watching it and getting too scared before bed. 9:00pm is X Files time slots, Fringe time slots. 9:00pm says you’re gonna get something a little more gruesome and gory and shocking than at 8pm. 8pm is for Friends. Vampire Diaries aired at 8pm its first season. 9pm is for the real adult content (but not too adult because the audience is still mostly children). 

SPOOP!

But yeah, let’s look at the real horror vibe that you get off of these first four episodes. We talked about La Llorona from the first episode - this is a legit ghost that they fight. The kids at the end that literally drag their mom to hell? Pretty spooky stuff. The Wendigo in episode 2 is a literal monster of the week and so for me personally, it’s not that scary, but it is a cannibal monster that eats human flesh. Dead in the Water has vibes from both Jaws and Friday the 13th. Everything from the lighting to the sound design let’s you know this is a horror show, or as horror as you can get on network television. Listen to the scenes just before somebody dies and you get a nice creepy “Come play with me” whisper coming out of the water. I’m a little spooked just thinking about it now. Yes I know I’m a chicken, and I’m OK WITH THAT. And if we go past my season 1 disc 1 into episode 5, Bloody Mary is STILL terrifying and I STILL watched that episode with half my face covered. That’s where I am these days. It’s 2020 and the world is a nightmare but imagining Bloody Mary creepin’ out in my mirror does not need to be a part of it. 

SHE F*CKIN CLIMBS OUT OF THE MIRROR GUYS! I DIDN’T KNOW SHE COULD DO THAT!!!

Then we get Phantom Traveler and our very first case of black-eyed-demonic possession. Watching this episode now, it’s like watching someone’s home movie of their first steps as a baby. They’ve never even done an exorcism before guys! They have to read the exorcism rite out of the journal! It’s so cute!!! Let’s not think too hard about how they got that full sized bottle of holy water past TSA in a post-9/11 world. And try to ignore how poorly these special effects have aged - the smoke from the demon possession?? OMG! THIS EFFECT! I’m pretty sure I could make that effect with my first ever graphic design software on my, like, 2009 mac book pro. So cute and soooo good! I’m gonna leave that CG plane alone, they’re doing their best. 

SO cute and SOOO good!

You want to know what my favorite established staple of Supernatural season 1 is? The extras. LOOKIT these guys - 

Wendigo you have Cory Monteith who later goes on to star in Glee. 

You have Alden Ehrenreich, Debatable Han Solo, doing a lot of face work with very little dialogue. 

You have Gina Holden who is in SO. MANY. Spooky-type things! My personal favs are Blood Ties and Harper’s Island, but she’s in Fringe, she’s in the SAW franchise, she’s in the Final Destination franchise, she was in some deleted scenes on an episode of Teen Wolf! I LOVE seeing Gina Holden, anywhere she pops up. 

And speaking of Harper’s Island, you’ve also got Callum Keith Rennie who played John Wakefield in Harper’s Island, a show that was A+ Great and I highly recommend if you like Agatha Christie and/or murder mysteries. 

Honestly, Rennie looks like he’s about to murder a bitch in this episode of Supernatural, it is not a stretch to believe he’s a psycho killer.

Dead in the Water you’ve got Amy Acker, a regular in Joss Whedon and Whedon-adjacent type shows.

Good LORD, this wardrobe was SO 2000′s WB and it PAINED me.

And finally in Phantom Traveler, you have Jaime Ray Newman who also shows up in a lot of the shows that I like to watch. She was in Eureka, she was in Midnight Texas, both kind of terrible shows that I love because they are terrible, but she was ALSO in Bates Motel and Veronica Mars, which are generally considered to be more quality, so there’s that. 

This still implies that they actually LIT scenes, which is a SURPRISE TO ME. 

Point is, seeing these actors in Supernatural back in the early 2000’s felt like I was seeing the start of their careers. That may or may not have been the case, but as a viewer it was exciting to see them pop up again in other things.

So what about TV now? Do we still use those first 6 (sometimes more) episodes to re-establish the premise? Well, it certainly hasn’t gone away. Look at any network show that still produces 22 - 24 episodes a season and you’ll still see that the pilot season just keeps re-iterating the premise established in the pilot episode, specifically in anything that’s procedural - that’s you’re monster/problem-of-the-week shows. Think sitcoms like Brooklyn 99 or Superstore or dramedies like Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist. The reason being that these shows play in the traditional model of television - on a network, once a week. They are not releasing episodes all at one time or relying on their audiences to stream a whole season in one sitting. These are shows that still assume that someone out there is going to tune in or stumble across their show one night while they’re surfing channels (lol) and need to be told, no matter what episode they’ve just turned on, what the premise of the show is. They need to be formulaic so that people can pick it up anywhere at any time.

But what about shows that don’t follow this traditional model? I mentioned in my last post that seasons are getting shorter and shorter, so when you’re writing a show that only has (8) episodes instead of 22, how much time do you really want to spend establishing the premise? Because of these short seasons, you’re also dealing with shows that are more serialized and less procedural than their predecessors - meaning, you’re dealing with a show that focuses on a season long story (think Game of Thrones or Stranger Things where each episode is an important chapter that you can’t skip) vs. a procedural (think the shows I mentioned above or any cop drama really) where each episode is it’s own contained story, neatly wrapped up at the end. These are shows where you can skip an episode and still know where you are in the show no matter where you start or stop watching. Supernatural is a little bit of both - procedural with their monsters of the week AND serialized with a season long arc. We’ll talk more on that in a later post. 

Not only are we getting shorter seasons, but we’re also dealing with shows that are not released over long periods of time. A few streaming channels, like Disney+ and HBO Max, make a deliberate point to slow-drip their seasons, but most streaming channels will release entire seasons in one shot. You don’t need to worry about your audience missing an episode because they have 24/7 access to all the episodes all at once. And for the most part, they’re designed to be binged. They start at full speed and they don’t slow down to keep driving you to the finale. 

Do I think the procedural is ever going to go away? No. As much talk as there is about dropping the cop drama from TV all together, I think audiences still love a good mystery series. And you can’t just think of procedurals as cop dramas either - a procedural also covers most if not all sitcoms. New Girl, Letterkenny, Parks and Rec, Superstore - these all have a premise that doesn't change from week to week. They may make tiny shifts away from what they set up in the pilot, but by and large, you know what you’re getting into any time you turn on an episode. I think we as an audience still like that kind of familiarity. We may be seeing a bigger swing towards more serialized content, but that doesn't mean that the procedural is dead and gone. 

So that’s what we’ve got for Supernatural - two dudes, driving around in a car full of spears and hand guns, killing bad guys. Some day, they may even find that father that’s missing. What could possibly go wrong? A lot. Stay tuned. 

[rilesandlucas]

18th Birthday

Thanks @abbiescholler for the request, sorry its late. 

A/n-OMG, tumblr, wattpad-Hello how are ya? It's been a crazy amount of time but omg it feels good to be back. I got this request way too long ago and I have some more free time now so here I am finally writing it. I missed y'all and I can't wait to revisit Riles and Lucas. Happy reading.

not proof read lol.

Riley skipped her way up the fire escape of her apartment, she was gleaming with excitement as her feet hit each step, her smile growing continuously. She reached the final step of the fire escape and slowly peered into the bay window, expecting to see her best friend and boyfriend patiently waiting to surprise her. However as her head slowly continued to look into the window she quickly realised neither of them were there. Her smile faltered slightly but she quickly brushed it off and considered that they were probably waiting for her inside. She jumped in through her bay window, her favourite starbucks drink that she had gone to get earlier in her hand, and grabbed her phone from her jean pocket. When she looked down at her phone she saw she had two texts from Maya and Lucas;

Lukey; Hey Riles, sorry I had to run out before you came back this morning, had to help my mum. Maybe see you tomorrow? xx

Maya; Won't b ova today Peaches, art stuff u get it, luv ya.

Riley sighed confused, 'Surely they didn't forget, this is way too 16 candles'. At that moment her Mother, Father and brother all burst in to her room, Balloons and cake in hand.

'HAPPY 18th RILEY' They screamed, partially in unison except for Auggie who glared at his parents because he thought they were yelling 'Happy birthday' instead. They all laughed at Auggie’s anger and gave Riley a hug.

'So sweetie, where are Lucas and Maya, I thought for sure they'd be here?' Topanga questioned while attempting to clean up Riley's room. She had grown to love cleaning Riley's room lately because it meant she could snoop on whether Lucas had stayed the night or not. She always laughed at how discrete Riley and Lucas thought they were being, but really they were anything but subtle, whether it was clothing left behind or both sides of the doona where clearly slept on. Topanga truly didn't care if Lucas did want to stay the night, the kids had just never asked her.

'No they're not here, I left this morning to get a drink and I swore they'd be here when I got back. I think they're pretending they forgot.' Riley sulked, she really didn't want to believe they forgot, but Lucas and Maya were horrible liars and it's unlikely they could pull off a big surprise, especially not later in the day. They usually would get too excited and cave before 10am.

'Look, I'm sure the group is just surprising you, I mean have you heard from Farkle, Smackle or Zay yet?' Cory questioned, he was quite concerned considering he really hadn't heard anything about a surprise from the group, so he wasn't really sure if their actually was one.

'I guess not, you're probably right, and maybe they just wanted me to have a morning with my family alone' The family burst into laughter at this statement, Maya and Lucas wanting Riley to be alone with her family and not spend time with them? It was unheard of. Alas, Riley brushed it off considering that she hadn't heard from anyone else and there's no way they'd all forgot. She scrolled through her facebook timeline as her family left to go make breakfast when a facetime notification popped up on her phone.

FARKLEY <3

Riley quickly answered hoping it had something to do with her surprise and was greeted by the faces of Zay, Smackle and Farkle.

'Happy birthday sugar.' She heard Zay yell from the back. Smackle quickly turned around and hit Zay on the arm.

'Zay, we promised Farkle he could say happy birthday first.' She scolded and Zay just rolled his eyes.

'Look, I'm new to the group, I've gotta let Riley know I care the most so I'm the favourite.' He retorted making Riley giggle. It was at this point that Farkle turned around and hit Zay.

'Zay, are you fucking serious, you've been our friend for two years and you still aren't the favourite, it's not gonna happen.'

'Umm guys hello.' Riley yelled as the three friends started to bicker.

'Sorry sugar, I know Lucas is the favourite cause ya know' Zay stated winking through the phone making everyone roll their eyes.

'Anyway happy birthday Riley, can we come up, are Maya and Lucas done with their surprise?' Farkle questioned through the phone.

'What surprise?' Riley inquired.

'We all just figured Lucas and Maya where surprising you, that's why we didn't come over. Now that I think of it they never mentioned it.' Farkle replied while climbing through Riley's window with Smackle and Zay in tow.

Riley got up from her bed and quickly hugged her friends who all had a balloon each and a big teddy bear. They all sat back down in the bay window and looked around for any sign of Lucas and Maya.

'Surely they didn't forgot, its your 18th. Although I mean now that I think of it Lucas didn't say anything, I thought it was just cause I can't keep a secret. But surely you brought it up Riles, you mentioned it to me like 8 times.' Zay spoke attempting to comfort Riley.

'I never brought it up around him cause I thought he was planning a surprise and I didn't want him to spoil it.' Riley peered sadly, she had accepted it, they must have just forgot. The group sat for a moment contemplating the situation, had the others really forgot?

'Well, for now let's do something fun, how about your favourite activity, Mini golf?' Farkle beamed and the group jumped up and ran out the window.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Riley stumbled into her bedroom at 8 after going out with her friends. After mini golf Riley had still heard nothing from Lucas and Maya, so in an attempt to cheer her up, while Smackle and Farkle weren't looking,  Zay gave Riley some alcohol he had bought with his fake ID. Although Riley thought she was fine, the tequila had really hit her just as she reached home and she was now feeling really tipsy. She burst open her door and jumped onto her bed feeling a little lethargic. Just as she was closing her eyes she looked up and saw Lucas walking slowly out of her closet.

'Hi sweet girl' Lucas hummed walking over and embracing Riley. As soon as Riley was enclosed in his arms the smell of alcohol hit his nostrils and he jumped back.

'Riley-' He started but she bounced up and slapped and his arm.

'You're silly you forgot my birthday' She pouted her arms folded on her chest. It was at this point she had realised that Riley was most definitely drunk.

'Maya' Lucas called causing Maya to slid out from under Riley's bed.

'Ok, Huckleberry what don't you understand about pretend you forgot and I'll jump out in twenty and surprise her' Maya sassed pulling out her airpods.

'No Maya, abort mission she's drunk' Lucas spoke ushering to Riley who was singing and playing with her hair.

'NO fair, you said I couldn't get her drunk' Maya pouted hitting Lucas.

'OWW, no I didn't get her drunk, it must have been Zay.'

'Oh, well mad respect he did what I wasn't brave enough to do.' Maya beamed while pumping her fist to the sky. Lucas rolled his eyes and looked down at Riley, pushing her hair out of her face.

'Well what are we gonna do now?' Lucas questioned.

'I mean she had her fun today, let's just take her up there and sleep, she can see it in the morning.' Maya replied. Lucas picked Riley up as she was now silently sleeping and walked her to the roof, he placed her down right in the middle of himself and Maya and kissed her on the forehead.

'Night beautiful, Happy birthday'.

------------------------------

Riley woke up with a pounding headache, she groaned as she slowly opened her eyes. It wasn't for a second that she noticed that the sun was quite a lot brighter than usual. She stretched her arms out expecting to be in her bed but instead was met by two hard objects.

'Ow', Lucas groaned after Riley's fist connected with his face. Maya laughed as she looked over at the exact moment that Riley's fist had connected.

'What are you two doing here. Why are we outside?' Riley questioned looking around. They were on the roof of their building laying on about 20 pillows and a large tarp was in front of them.

'Well princess, if you hadn't have gone out and gotten smashed, this was your birthday surprise.' Lucas replied kissing her hand.

'Yeah it's not gonna work now but we set this up with a projector we bought you and we were gonna watch your favourite movies, we still can we just have to wait till tonight .' Maya laughed pointing to the projector.

'That's why we had to hold off seeing you, we wouldn't have been able to not tell you for that long, plus we wanted some suspense and for you to spend some time with your family.' Lucas followed, embracing Riley in a small hug.

Riley stiffled a laugh and replied, 'I love you guys, even if your surprises never work out'. They all laughed and hugged each other while Riley looked over at her 'Happy birthday' sign. Best birthday ever, she thought to herself.

A/n Ok so thanks for reading, I can't believe these characters would be all grown up now, its crazy. I had no idea where to go with this but it carried well I feel. Let me know and send prompts, I have one to do which hopefully I'll do soon.

-xo Bay

[alphabees-writes]

Glee - S1 E6 (Vitamin D)

They call it vitamin D for the whole thing but wasn’t it just a component for some really hard drug??? We love the bullshit

The millionth step ball change... And we’re only 6 episodes in

Mr Schue just said “Maybe so” and now all I can think of is the gif meme thing

heheheheheheh.......Sorry. Funny youtube. 

Sign #27 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: He’s eating that sandwich in the GROSSEST WAY POSSIBLE. He’s chewing with his mouth open, breathing really loud, talking with his mouthful, and he’s clearly being messy about it because there’s mustard all over his chin!!! How is Emma crushing on this dweeb

Sign #28 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: When Emma says he’s got a “cute Kirk Douglas chin dimple” (barf) he doesn’t say, hey! Maybe don’t flirt with me, I’m married!

I’m genuinely starting to feel ill whenever I have to just look at Mr Schue...

Everybody trying to learn their choreo and they’re just.... Spinning. Kurt’s about to fall over, Matt and Mike are bumping into each other, and Brittany’s just Tasmanian Devil-ing her way across the room. Love em

Brittany completely ignoring Artie’s high-five and him being like “oh-- okay...” is underrated

Matt Morrison just delivered “simply stopped trying” really weirdly. I don’t know what’s throwing me off about it, but it is

You’re right, Sue. Bones won’t grow properly without fear. AND EMMA’S BLOUSE IS INSANE

“I don’t understand how lightning is in competition with an above-ground swimming pool” You’re RIGHT KURT and you SHOULD SAY IT! Bears and sharks aren’t in competition either! Call out post for Mr Schue: The man knows NOTHING of the most basic ecology!

The look Quinn gives Finn when he yawns... Let my mans nap!!!

Kurt did his best to get to the girl’s side. Can you fucking blame him? Puck’s still an asshole to him as far as we all know!

Santana and Brittany just casually linking arms... Be still my beating heart

Kurt just walking along with Finn to football practice... Look at those brothers go!!! I am ignoring Puck

Ohh Sue’s journal... A wonderful character

You’re right, Sue, Will Schuester IS to blame for the world’s problems. Please do destroy the man

“I’ve always thought the desire to procreate showed deep personal weakness” Got ‘em

And thus begins the saga of Sue pushing problem people down the stairs. I’m not saying she should do that to Mr Schue... I’m just saying, why doesn’t she?

If Will wasn’t flirting with Emma, he wouldn’t get all nervous and upset when his wife turns up. Them’s the facts.

Does Terri know about Emma’s germophobia...? Because if so, it’s probably not cool for Will to have told her that. Unless Sue did, but I wouldn’t put it past him

As if they could get away with hiring a random unqualified woman as a school nurse?

Is “route” really pronounced like that......? Huh

Finn getting Biofreeze in his eye will forever be hilarious.

LEVEL 2!!!

I hate hats. I don’t know why, but I do. And I want Kurt to live his best life, but man, I hate that hat

Cory Monteith really got paid to drool. Goals

“Puck, with respect, you’re more helpful when you don’t contribute” Tell him, Artie!!!

Everybody making fun of Quinn :C Britt, you’re better than this!!

People (I’m people) can hate on Rachel all they want but this scenario is one example of her actually working harder than anybody else in the group. Yes, the solos should be shared more equally, but it’s hard to be mad at her when the others are claiming her ideas as their own and sitting around when they should be rehearsing. Except Brittany! She’s stretching, at least, love her

Terri let him NAP. WITHOUT DRUGS.

Finn’s having some serious mental health concerns but he’s not getting what he needs and I hate it. Help him!!!

Why does Terri care if Finn’s not faithful? Like, yeah, he should be, but it’s not going to affect the baby!

Surely if she took those pills for ALL of high school, they would’ve lost their effect after a while?

God I love high Finn. He just CHUCKED Matt outta that chair. 

Puck knows what’s up. Kurt thinks it’s vitamin C, because Vogue said so, and Iove him. He also looks SO weirded out

Terri gave him a whole BOX huh?

Time for season 1′s best mash-up. I love this so much. They’re all going so HARD and Finn looks like his eyes are about to pop right out. The way he’s rubbing the mic... How could they not tell he was off his face???

MIKE’S SINGING. MIKE’S SINGING BACK UP AND NOBODY’S WINCING. Glee has no continuity confirmed

I feel like I shouldn’t find this performance cute because they’re all meant to be high as shit BUT THEY’RE JUST SO EXCITED???

Kevin McHale bumps every song features in up by at least 2 letter grades and that’s just a fact

LET MIKE CHANG DANCE!!!! LET HIM DANCE FOREVER HE DESERVES SO MUCH

I would say the same for Matt but then I’ll get sad about him being dumped into the void in like 16 episodes time

Oh Rachel worrying about Quinn... Be still my gay heart

Rachel just cuts right through her bullshit without hesitating for a second. She knows what it’s like to feel like the odd one out and she’s doing the absolute most to make sure Quinn doesn’t feel that way and I love her for it

The way Quinn slowly turns to face her... And Rachel says they don’t have to be enemies and Quinn can’t understand why Rachel would offer her a second chance... 

Quinn legit draws porn of Rachel it’s canon. I mean it’s fucked up but there are only so many reasons a person would do that

“I would’ve tortured you if the roles were reversed you know” “I know” And then the way she watches Rachel walk away... My HEART

Ken and Terri, the power duo of awful

“Laughing... Talking... All the stuff she never does with me” I hate it. They suck. Emma is a dumbass for agreeing to date a guy who she just genuinely doesn’t like and Ken’s just an ASSHOLE for bullying her into it

And now Ken’s about to propose because he’s being bullied into it. Why the fuck does this happen?

I don’t buy that Rachel took this long to berate all the girls for not prepping their mash-up harder after the boys killed theirs. She’d be right on that

Kurt I love the waistcoat and the bowtie but WHAT is happening on your ELBOWS.

You really wanted those guys in cornrows, Kurt? None of them have the length for it. ALSO I love that the exotic bird feathers thing comes back next season 10/10

F-ROD!!! GO OFF RACHEL!!! Even if Finn doesn’t know what half these words mean!

Rachel really wakes up with flawless hair, huh! And then she just... Does all that. She never stops being extra...

Did they just start walking in the opposite direction?

I feel like it’s dumb that Rachel doesn’t just tell Mr Schue that they all took pills, but it’s more in character for her to not waste an opportunity to perform anyway

Howard Bamboo,totally unqualified man who absolutely isn’t staff, is just allowed on campus to deliver DRUGS? HELLO???

Quinn only gets folic acid... And yet I’m pretty sure she manages to keep up with everybody else. HOW?

“What’s up with Ken?” [FRANTIC PAPER SHREDDING] 

I don’t care how married you are, no person should lick another person’s face

I can physically feel the awkwardness between Will and Terri. JUST DIVORCE ALREADY

Don’t like ya Will but you’re right, shit’s not healthy if there’s no space!

Imagine proposing in the staff room at work just because a random woman told you to

“Emma Pilsbury, this is not an engagement ring” “Oh thank god--” “No, I mean, it is” Just take the L, Ken

AND ALSO ANGELS!!!

Quinn’s so fucking concerned. I love this

I usually don’t like yellow clothes but these girls make it look so dang CUTE. More pastels plz

Again, I have no idea how pregnant Quinn is keeping up at all...

HALOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Kurt’s wearing those blocky shades so the boys can’t see his betrayal

Where the hell did this mock-stage set up come from

“We came up with the idea together!” No... Will, that was Sue. Sue gave you the idea

Emma’s pretty much explicitly told Will she’s only marrying Ken because Will won’t be with her. EVERYBODY SUCKS

This argument between Terri and Emma is a nightmare. The most confrontational person VS the least... I’d fucking evaporate if Terri came at me like that

The way Emma’s voice shakes when she tells Terri that Will deserves better... Ouchie

Quinn is just adorable. Diana made this character, and she did such an amazing job... She’s more empathetic than she lets anybody realise

The fact that Terri won’t even help this TEENAGE GIRL pay for the baby that she’ll eventually adopt is a nightmare. Where do you expect her to get the cash from?

Wanting to get married without being married is kind of a mood... Secret marriage

BEING A PUSHOVER WHEN IT COMES TO YOU DOESN’T MAKE HIM A GOOD MAN

Finn and Rachel both realising they screwed up is perfect. 

Finn continuing to not know what any words mean is also perfect

This is a cute Rachel moment actually... Yes girl compete WITH your friends!!! You’re a team!!!!

Ahh, methamphetamines! That’s what it was. Yeah, fuck Terri

I’m still looking at Matt Morrison’s lips and trying to figure out if he’s had fillers. They just curl too far!!!

Mr Schue being called out for making things too competitive - fine, I guess. Bringing in SUE to rectify that...??? Hello? Figgins?

Those white jeans are a LOOK Kurt. He’s like a twink Steve Jobs rn

Britt and Santana’s little smiles at each other when Sue’s announced as co-captain... Hell yeah future wives

I’d like to think Will’s upset about Emma marrying Ken for the right reasons (i.e. Ken’s an asshole) but we been knew he’s not. He’s looking at her like he’s just been shot

AIN’T NOTHIN GONNA BREAK MY STRIDE! NOBODY GONNA SLOW ME DOWN! OH NO, I’VE GOT TO KEEP ON MOVIN!

I really just love how stupid this show is! It makes no god damn sense and I fall for it every time!

[corycadaver]

THE FASTEST & FURIOUSEST MOVIE SCRIPT

I have never seen a Fast & Furious movie. I have seen trailers and commercials for them, and I know very little about them from other sources as well. I got into a discussion with a friend that I could whip out a script for the next installment in the franchise in no time. There some spelling error and typos but anyways here it is, I hope you enjoy!

The Fastest and Furiousest A script by Cory Jezierski

Opening Scene, our main characters Jason Statham and The Rock are in their underground auto mechanic lair. It’s like the Bat Cave, but full of hi tech wrenches and sockets and  bad ass cars and weapons and posters of naked ladies. No bats. Our heroes seem to be unwinding after whatever happened in the last movie (I didn’t see it. I didn’t see any of them)

The Rock is mixing Monster Energy Drink, Bud Light & Diesel Fuel together in a blender. Jason Statham is organizing his prized collection of car wrenches.

JASON: Hey, The Rock.... that last mission was sick bro! It really but our friendship to the test while helping us to grow as people. I think I might retire after that one. Maybe take my cut and buy some land in Hawaii and open a garage.. call it “Pineapple’s” or something really exotic like that....

The Rock looks at Jason intensely but with a charming grin and pushes start on the blender. It blends for two minutes while the cameras slowly pan around the Rocks muscles. Not in a gay way though. The blender stops. He takes takes a long sip directly from the blender. He dosent need a cup becuase he is the Rock. Some of the liquid dribbles down his chin and onto his shirt, but not in a way that could be considered gay at all. He doesnt care about the stains on his muscle shirt because he will probably be top nude for the rest of the movie anyways. But not in a gay way. He chuckles at Jason Statham’s suggestion of retirement.

THE ROCK: You say that after every mission bro. You know you can’t give up this life. The fast cars and the furious cars are what you live for bro!

JASON STATHAM: (chuckles) yeah you are right bro. But one of these days I will say it and I will mean it. But damn, the rock, you are right! I love the fast cars and the furious cars!

The phone rings. Not a cell phone, but a special red landline phone that is under a small plastic case. Jason Statham answers the phone.

JASON STATHAM: Sup bra? ....... Oh shit.... Yes.... We’ll be there. (He hangs up the phone and turns to the Rock) It’s the President.

The scene fades to black. You hear the sound of engines roaring and cars driving very fastly and very furiously. The next scene fades in to two cars driving down a highway. They are very fast and they are very furious. Oil and fire are coming out of all the cars holes, but in a bad ass way, like they are totally supposed to be doing that. The cars do not need to go into the shop for repairs.

Zoom in to the Rock in his car. “Rock You Like a Hurricane” by the Scorpions plays very loud, but you still hear engines roar. He opens a Bud Lite and slams it. He opens a Monster Energy Drink and slams that next. He opens a can of Diesel Fuel and slams that next. He opens a second Bud Lite and slams that next. He burps in a very macho way, then makes an action to indicate he pushed onto the gas pedal even harder, making his car faster and louder than it already was! Transition to the cars pulling up to the White House. They both skid onto the lawn, leave the cars there and run fastly and furiously into the White House. The groundskeeper shakes his head when he see’s all the damage the cars tires did to his grass. Transition scene to the Oval Office, where The President, played by Bruce Willis is standing with his back to the desk looking out the window, and the Rock and Jason Statham are seated waiting for him to speak.

PRESIDENT BRUCE WILLIS: There’s no easy way for me to say this so I will be direct. The Rock’s brother, the one who is half cyborg, the one who you just put in prison yesterday... he broke out of prison and he’s kidnapped my daughter. We also think he has plans to blow up the Super Bowl. You’re the only ones who can stop him. (He turns around from looking out the window) You know I hate you fuckers becuase you do things so goddamn fast, and so goddamn furious that it makes me furious! But America needs you boys.

You hear a can crack open. The Rock and Jason Statham are both slamming Bud Lites. They look super pumped for this mission. The Rock is now top nude.

THE ROCK: We would never dream of letting America down Sir JASON STATHAM: He’s correct, America is where we live and where our cars live and also we hate cyborgs and love freedom. THE ROCK: You have our word President Bruce Willis, nothing will happen to your sexy daughter or the American Super Bowl PRESIDENT BRUCE WILLIS: If you assholes fuck this one up I will shove a bald eagle so far up your ass you will be shitting freedom for a week, but from a jail cell! Now get the fuck outta my office! And don’t even think about fingerbanging my daughter!!!!!

Our heroes get up and scurry out the door

“Rock You Like a Hurricane” from the Scorpions plays as the scene fades back to the boys in their cars. They are driving down the highway again, but this time you can tell they are driving faster and furiouser than before. They are headed to the see a freind about getting some new Cyborg killing weapons.

The scene cuts to an old abandoned warehouse, where the Rock’s Cyborg brother, played by a CGI Macho Man Randy Savage but voiced by Hulk Hogan, and who goes by the name Macho-Borg, is holding up with his gang and President Bruce Willis’ sexy daughter, played by Megan Fox. The camera pans in from a top view showing Macho-Borg and his hoodlums standing around a table looking at a map of George Washington Stadium where the Super Bowl will be played in a few weeks.

MACHO-BORG: This plan is foolproof! There is no way I can fail! In just a few weeks I will have blown up the Super Bowl with plutonium, removed the President from office and taken over the country! No one, not even my regular human brother The Rock and his fast driving and furious driving pals can put a stop to this!

The hoodlums nod in agreement and everyone laughs in an evil manner. Macho-Borg laughs louder and more evil than his henchmen though. The camera then moves to show Megan Fox-Willis leaning against the wall in a white tank top and daisy dukes laughing along with Macho-Borg and his pals!! She has a soda cup with a straw in her hand.

MEGAN FOX-WILLIS: I’m so glad I broke you out of prison and let my dumb ass Dad think you kidnapped me so that we could take over the country together! Being the President’s daughter was so boring! (She accidentally spills the soda all over her white tank top. It’s Mr Pibb) Oops! now I’m all sticky! I better take a shower and wash my boobs!

Megan Fox-Willis walks away. The scene briefly cuts to a steamy shower where you can see her figure outlined in steam. After roughly 15 minutes of that the scene fades back to the Rock in his car. You hear loud car noises indicating he is driving very, very fast. His video phone rings. You can see on the screen that the caller ID says “Vin Diesel” The Rock casually reaches over and hits “Decline” on the call. He dials Jason Statham, who immediately answers and you see his face on the screen. He is slamming a Monster Energy Drink.

THE ROCK: Did Vin Diesel try to call you? JASON STATHAM: Yeah. (he chuckles) I declined the call. THE ROCK: Yeah, me too. (he chuckles and the Bud Lite dispensary built into his dash shoots out a cold can for The Rock to crack open and chug like a boss) JASON STATHAM: Are you sure our old friend who deals in illegal weapons is gonna want to see us? Didn’t one of us fingerbang his wife on accident? THE ROCK: Don’t worry about that, I brought a gift for him!

The scene cuts to the two very fast cars driving through a narrow hole in a mountain which ascends into a cavern. You can see that the road is coming to an end very soon but the cars are not slowing down! At the last second each car makes a huge jump into complete darkness. You hear loud thuds. What happened? The darkness lingers for suspensful purposes. All of a sudden the zooming noises of fast cars comes back! There is light again! The cars are back on another narrow road and after another minute they come skidding to a stop. They have arrived at the secret lair of their old friend the illegal weapons dealer played by Snoop Dogg. Our heroes find themselves in front of a large metal door with a security camera pointed right at them. They hear Snoop Dogg’s voice over an intercom

SNOOP DOGG: I thought I told you son’s a bitches never to come back to my illegal weapons lair! THE ROCK: You did, but this is important. The fate of the American Super Bowl is at stake. Plus I brought you this (He holds up a very large bag of marijuana) SNOOP DOGG: Is that... are you fuckin’ with me? It can’t be? THE ROCK: Ya bro, it’s Rarijuana, the rarest strain of marijuana in the whole world. The only kind you have never smoked before. This whole 50 pounds of it is yours but you gotta help us kill my cyborg brother and save the American Super Bowl.

The metal door opens. The scene cuts to Snoop Dogg rolling a joint. A Cypress Hill song plays in the background (doesn’t matter which one) He lights it up, takes a puff and exhales

SNOOP DOGG: So why you wanna kill your Cyborg brother? I thought you put his ass in prison? THE ROCK: He got out. Again. I finally realized it’s my duty to kill him. I’m ready to do it this time. I just need a Cyborg killing weapon and you are the only illegal weapons dealer in the world who knows how to make them. JASON STATHAM: Were also sorry we accidentally did finger stuff with your wife. We had a lot of Bud Lite and we didn’t know your marriage was so serious. SNOOP DOGG: Alright boys, I’m in. I’m still kind a mad about the finger stuff but if this is for the sake of America I have to do it. Plus this weed is fuckin dope son! I got just what you need to kill that Cyborg prick.

The scene fades back to our heroes driving their cars super fast down the highway. Probably just use the same footage from earlier to save money. A different song is playing. It’s some sort of Bon Jovi song remixed with rapping on it. No one is actually sure if they like it or not but it doesnt matter. The Rock’s video phone starts ringing again. The caller ID Says Vin Diesel. He casually hits the decline button. He’s still top nude.

The hereos cars are shown driving into a small suburban area. They are not going very fast. They come to a proper stop (no skidding) in front of a small home. The heroes exit their cars, Monster Energy Drink in hand, head to the porch and ring the doorbell. The Rock’s Mother, played by Tyra Banks answers the door.

THE ROCKS MOM: Oh my goodness! What a surprise! My baby boy and his fast driving friend Jason Statham! Please come on in, I was just baking cookies! Would you like some lemonade? JASON STATHAM: No thanks ma’am, we brought some Monster Energy Drinks and Bud Lite’s with us. We never go anywhere without them, and if we do they are available almost everywhere that energy drinks and beer are sold! THE ROCKS MOM: Oh you boys and your drinks! (she laughs at her joke) Now tell me baby what brought you here THE ROCK: Mom... I don’t know how to say this, but it’s about my brother the cyborg.... THE ROCKS MOM: Oh Macho-Borg! He’s in the kitchen right now helping me with the cookies! JASON STATHAM: Crikey! (chugs the rest of his Monster Energy Drink, Cracks a Bud Lite) THE ROCK: I better go say hello (He looks very concerned, he briskly and with concealed fury heads towards the kitchen) You two stay here.....

Scene cuts to the kitchen. Macho-Borg is wearing an apron and leaning on the counter with his arms folded. He has been waiting for The Rock. He has a menacing grin on his stupid cyborg face.

MACHO-BORG: How predictable brother! I knew you would come here to tell Mother that you finally have to kill me. That is why you came here isn’t it? (He takes a bite out of a cookie) THE ROCK: You sly son of a bitch! You know I can’t whoop your ass here at Mom’s house because I have strong family values that only get stronger with each adventure I have! Now you mark my words if you are trying to blow up the American Super Bowl, I will kill you! I will rip off your Cyborg dick and shove it so far up your mechanical asshole that you will be shitting nuts and bolts for a week! MACHO-BORG: HA! You just wait little brother, you have no idea what’s coming! THE ROCK: And where’s the Presidents sexy daughter? If you put a finger up her, I swear to God (Macho-Borg interrupts him) MACHO-BORG: Oh I put more than a finger in her! And I’m gonna put more than a finger in your precious President before I’m done.... (Mom walks in, the boys relax their posture and pretend they were getting along) THE ROCKS MOM: Now what’s all the racket in here? You boys better be getting along our no ones getting any cookies! MACHO-BORG: Everythings fine Mom, I was just telling The Rock the same story I told you about how I was legally let out of prison becuase I’m super innocent and never did any crimes. THE ROCKS MOM: Yes my baby, I’m sure your brother The Rock realizes now how innocent you were. Now let’s go to the living room and eat cookies and discuss our strong family values!

Everyone heads to the living room for cookies and Bud Lite. Macho-Borg excuses himself first, saying he has work to do so he has to leave. The Rock and Jason Statham excuse themselves for the same reason. It’s a bunch of bulls shit but it segues to a bad ass car chase. Soon we see Macho-Borg driving fastly down the highway followed closely by the Rock and Jason Statham in their cherry red hot rod super cars. You see the cars zoom and zip and zap all over the road, moving from left to right very fastly and very furiously. The engines are loud and the tires are loud and there is smoke and sparks all over. Overhead views of the cars are cut with split seconds of the drivers gripping their steering wheels very furiously. “Kickstart My Heart” from Motley Crue plays under the car noises. If your drunk uncle was still alive he would lose his shit over this scene. This bull shit goes on until the song ends then Macho-Borg shoots oil slicks out of the back of his car, giving him the edge over his persuers and ultimately gives them the slip.

The scene cuts to our heroes lair. The Rock and Jason Statham are pacing furiously around the room, throwing punches in the air and grunting.

THE ROCK: FUCK! We were so close! I can’t believe we fell for that oil slick bullshit! FUCK! (he throws both his fists into some drywall, when he pulls them out he has a Bud Lite in each fist!) JASON Statham: I feel like a fool too bro, but we need to start focusing on saving the American Football Super Bowl, we know that’s his next move. THE ROCK: (throws down the empy Bud Lites he just slammed like a boss) You’re right bro. Let’s do this! (He embraces Jason Statham and gives him a fast peck on the cheek)

The scene fades to only 1 car on the highway. The Rock and Jason Statham are sharing a car this time, as they are undercover. The video phone rings. Thinking it’s Vin Diesel, they both reach for the decline button. Then the realzie that it’s President Bruce Willis and draw their hands back. They mutter some cuss words then one of them presses the button to answer the call

PRESIDENT BRUCE WILLIS: Where the fuck is my daughter you goddamn third rate A-Team wanna be assholes? Looks like your out for a joyride while that animal Macho-Borg is probably 3 fingers deep in her B-Hole! Get your asses to the Superbowl and save America or so help me I will shove an American Flag so far up your ass it will come out your skull so the whole US Military can salute it! FUCK YOU! (He hangs up. Our heroes did not get a word in)THE ROCK: He sounds kinda mad. Our plan better work

The scene fades to the New England Patriots NFL practice. Head Coach Bill Bellicheck has all of his players huddled around waiting for him to instruct them on their next practice drills. All of a sudden The Rock emerges from behind him in full NFL Football gear. He wears the number 01 on his Jersery. He stands next to the Coach

COACH BILL: Listen up you fuckin’ football players, this is The Rock. He’s our new Quarterback for the Superbowl. That’s right, you heard me! Tom Brady your’e benched!

The football players all look shocked as fuck. Tom Brady on the bench? For this unkown player? For the Super Bowl? What could the explanation for this be?

THE ROCK: Now I know this shit seems crazy, but you just have to trust me as your new Quarterback for the NFL American Superbowl. I hope eventually you can accept me as family and we grow a strong bond together (He opens a Monster Energy Drink and takes a little tiny sip) COACH BILL: That’s right Maggots! The Rock is in charge of this team now! Drop and give me 500!

The camera pans to Jason Statham, who is looking for suspicious activity from the top of the bleachers with binoculars. At the opposite end of the field he sees some janitors and other workers moving trash cans and cleaning things up getting ready for the big game. He sees vendors stocking carts in the bleachers. He gets on his walkie talkie and let’s the Rock know he doesn’t see anything suspcious yet. The Rock talks back to him on his secret helmet communicator and let’s him know to keep his eyes open becuase the game begins in a few hours. The scene fades to the basement of the stadium where Macho-Borg and his goons are dressed up like stadium janitors and are loading the plutonium bomb into a hot dog cart. The camera pans to people lining up outside of the George Washington Stadium. Then it pans to a VIP booth where President Bruce Willis has already been escorted in before the crowd. He is surrounded by Men In Black. One of them is Tommy Lee Jones. You can tell shit is fastly getting serious and is no doubt about to get furious! Fade to the Patriots locker room. The Rock is giving a motivational speech to the team he just joined hours ago. He is only wearing a towel around his waste. The towel has a little red corvette embroidered on it.

THE ROCK: I know we only recently formed a strong bond during our brief practice on the field and somewhat longer time in the showers afterwards, but I already feel like we are becoming family, and we all know that’s what it takes to win a Superbowl, am I right team? (He cracks a Bud Lite) COACH BILL: OH HELL YEAH FOOTBALL PLAYERS!!!!! (He slaps the Rock on the ass) The football players all yell and scream in excitement and crack their own Bud Lites and slap eachother’s assess silly. Except for Tom Brady he is sitting on a bench on the other end of the locker room with his Supermodel wife counting huge stacks of money. They are both nude.

It’s gametime. The stadium is full of excited people. The teams take the field. The announcer tells the crowd that Tom Brady is not playing tonight. The crowd is pissed off beyond belief.  The Patriots get the ball first. First snap of the game The Rock throws the ball all the way down to the end zone and scores a touchdown. The crowd now loves him. The Patriots defense takes the field and the Rock gets on his secret helmet cam to Jason Stathom. Jason is wondering the basement of the stadium frantically searching for the bomb or Macho-Borg or one of his goons. Anything to help end this movie. He is now with Michelle Rodriguez and some pit bulls.

THE ROCK: Anything yet? We need to find that bomb! JASON: Not yet, but I’ve called in some back up. Our intel says Macho-Borg plans to blow things up during the halftime show THE ROCK: If he fucks up the DMX half time show I will kill him twice! JASON: I know you love DMX but focus on stalling the game! MICHELLE RODRIGUEZ: Yeah let your ego go and throw a few interceptions ya big lunk! THE ROCK: Michelle! What are you doing here? JASON: That’s the back up I told you about! THE ROCK: I’ll stall the game the best I can, you keep looking for by brother so I can kill him and save America! I gotta take the field, The Rock out.

Fade to an unknown part of the stadium. Macho-Borg, Megan Fox-Willis and some goons have DMX tied to a chair. Everyone has huge guns and cool ninja weapons and theres some pit bulls. They are watching the field from a monitor.

GOON#1: That new Quarterback the Patriots have is insane! Damn! (The goon falls to the ground with a smoking hole in his head. Macho-Borg towers over him with smoke coming from his machine gun) MACHO-BORG: Touchdown bitch. (he glances over all the other goons) Any other Patriots fans here? I didn’t think so. (Megan Fox-Willis is obviously turned on by this. I guess show her hard nips blasting out her white tank top or something. Macho-Borg grabs her waste and shoves his robot tongue down her throat for a minute) I can’t wait until half time (He begins evil laughter, everyone else follows) AMERICA WILL BE MINE!!!!! (more evil laughter)

Fade back to the field. There is only a minute left on the game clock. It’s almost half time. The Patriots are beating whatever team they are playing by a score of 28-0. You see the Rock on the sideline looking frantic, but battle ready. Pan to President Bruce Willis in his VIP box, his fists are wrapped tightly around crushed Bud Lite cans, he is angry as fuck. Pan to Jason and Michelle and her pit bulls still searching the stadium for Macho-Borg and the bomb. Pan to unsuspecting crowd members going crazy over the game. Pan to Tom Brady making love to his supermodel wife on a huge pile of 500 dollar bills in the locker room. Pan to DMX tied to a chair in a dim closet. Pan to the hot dog cart with the plutonium bomb inside it. Pan to Megan Fox-Willis buttcheeks in tight jeans with a small oil stain on them. Pan to a Monster Energy Drink ad on the jumbotron. Halftime is here. Shit is about to pop off son!!!!

The clock hits zero, the buzzer rings. The teams leave the field and in a few short minutes a large stage is erected on the field for DMX. All of America is watching at home on the television, they can’t wait to hear him perform a medley of songs that they kind of remember from 30 years ago. The beat drops as a man parachutes from a helicopter above with a microphone in his hand. but when the man lands it’s not DMX! It’s not even a man! It’s Macho-Borg! The crowd looks confused and upset. the beat stops with the sound of a screeching record. Goons with machine guns and ninja weapons and pit bulls fill the stage around him.

MACHO-BORG: Listen up America! I’ve planted a plutonium atomic bomb in this stadium and unless you give me 10 million dollars and let me be the President, then you will never find out how the American Superbowl ends! On top of the bomb I’ve planted, I’ve got The Presidents daughter and America’s Sweetheart DMX held hostage so don’t even think about fucking with me! If I see any sign of the Rock or anyone else trying to stop me I will blast plutonium up all your asses so hard there won’t be any more asses to blast! Speaking of the Rock send him up here, unarmed so I can execute his punk ass in front of the whole world!!!!

All of a sudden a cherry read super sports car blast through the tunnel where the players take the field from, it’s  going faster than any car in this movie has gone! It’s clearly the most furious car as well. The car hits a ramp that’s there for some reason and flies onto the stage, wiping out half the goons with guns (the dogs scurry away unharmed) and comes to a skidding halt half inch from Macho-Borg. The door opens up like the Delorean in back to the future, smoke poors out. It’s the Rock! He jumps out the car. He’s top nude.

THE ROCK: You wanted me, here I am, unarmed...except for these arms! (He flexes his muscles and tosses his arms up in cool fight poses) MACHO-BORG: You arrogant bastard! You think I won’t blow this place sky high with both of us here? You don’t have a choice! You need to bow down and kiss my Cyborg ass or America is done for! THE ROCK: You’re forgetting one thing Macho-Borg. I’ve formed strong bonds and grown closer to my friends over many adventures and we have heart, we are family! One time you were my brother, but now your just an evil cyborg, and evil cyborgs can’t win! MACHO-BORG: ENOUGH!!!!! This ends now!!!! THE ROCK: You’re right.....

The camera pans up to the sky. Optimus Prime is floating down, he gently scoops up the hot dog cart with the bomb in it and jets back up to the sky, throwing it into the sun. You see it explode.

MACHO-BORG: NO! NO! NOOOOOOOO!!!!! (He’s on his hands and knees now, he knows he has been defeated. But probably not without a sweet car chase)

Jason Stathom and Michelle Rodriguez have now made it to the stage. DMX and an ton of pit bulls are with them. They have sweet machine guns and Monste Energy Drinks.

JASON: What just happened? THE ROCK: That’s my son Optimus Prime. You’re not the only one who called in for back up! MICHELLE: Your son?!?!?! THE ROCK: I don’t have time to explain right now, we need to get this creep to a private area so I can execute him. (The turn back to Macho-Borg but he is gone!) JASON: Shit.... (He points to the VIP box above) Where’s President Bruce Willis? DMX: You guys go, I got things under control here! (He pics up the microphone and makes dog noises and the music comes back on)

The crowd goes fucking nuts, this was the best half time show they ever saw. The Rock, Jason and Michelle jump into the car on stage and fastly drive away. Pan to DMX rocking the stage with whatever song is cheapest to license. Pan to Tom Brady in the locker room suiting up with a smirk on his face. Pan to Optimus Prime flying further into space back to Endor. Pan to Macho-Borg and Megan Fox-Willis in a fast driving sports car with President Bruce Willis tied up and passed out in the back seat.

MEGAN FOX-WILLIS: Damn the Rock and his sexy abs and huge muscles and smooth balls! Now what are we going to do? The plutonium bomb is gone, DMX is back on stage, the Superbowl is safe! We still have my Dad the President, but how are we going to make this work? We need to take over America or I’m not letting you do sex to me anymore with your weird robot dink! MACHO-BORG: We go back to our lair and figure this out. We still have the President, we can still take America! Settle down! MEGAN F-W: But what about the Rock and his fast driving and furious driving friends that he has formed family like bonds with? Why didn’t you blast him with your machine gun on the stage? You just had run your mouth when you should have been shooting! Maybe I should have let you rot in prison! You can’t get this job done you wack ass cyborg fuck! Second rate Terminator! I should dump you at the scrap yard! MACHO-BORG: You dumb... SHIT! we’ve got company (Three super fast sports cars can be seen in his rearview mirror)

Here is the big ass car chase that everyone is waiting for.  The cars go fast all over various roads and in tunnels and over bridges and valleys and deserts and whatever the fuck else. Just lots of the same shit you have seen earlier in this film and in the other films. Finally, Macho-Borg pushes a button in his car and it starts to transform into a Cyborg car. It looks like a normal car to begin with, then it gets taller, wider, metallic armor starts to cover it, the wheels get bigger. It basically looks like some crazy sci-fi monster truck with weapons. It has a huge Monster Energy drink logo on the hood. You see the 3 drivers of the other car (The Rock, Jason Stathom and Michelle Rodriguez) get surprised looks on their faces, they know they are in for the biggest battle yet. The heroes communicate on their radios

JASON: WHAT THE HELL?!?!?! MICHELLE: You must be seeing what I’m seeing! THE ROCK: Alright team, it’s time to kick ass and form a deeper family bond while we do it! I’m gonna kill the shit out of my cyborg brother once and for all! (He cracks a Bud Lite as expected) JASON: Were with you bro! Let’s do this for America!

You hear engines roaring and tires skidding and all that car shit. Macho-Borgs sci-fi monster truck has stopped and is turned to face our heroes, waiting for them to catch up, taunting them by shooting flames out of some huge ass guns on the hood. All 3 of the heroes cars get about a quarter mile away from the Cybrog truck and skid to a stop. They talk to each other on their radios again

JASON: I’m definitely retiring after this shit. How do we do this The Rock? MICHELLE: Yeah what is the plan here? THE ROCK: You two stay put, I got this.

The Rock gets out of his car and starts walking towards the sci-fi monster truck. He leaps in the air with all the fury and fastness he can, he punches the truck square in the grill and the whole truck falls apart into rubble and nuts and bolts. You can see Macho-Borg, President Bruce Willis and Megan Fox-Willis lying on the ground in the rubble, spread out from each other. Macho-Borg is the only one who gets up. He stumbles over to The Rock. He is in bad shape.

MACHO-BORG: You were right brother, I was a piece of shit. THE ROCK: I’m always right.

The Rock puts his fist through his brothers chest and pulls out a half human - half cyborg heart. It’s dripping with both oil and blood. He eats it. Macho-Borg falls dead to the ground. The Rock pulls out his boner and takes a piss on his brothers corpse. Jason and Michelle look on from the distance, they are both super impressed with their friend. They feel like they have formed a closer family bond with him. The President and his daughter have got up now too. Everyone is huddled around each other now enjoying the victory. They don’t realize that Megan Fox-Willis was the once responsible for breaking Macho-Borg out of prison and aiding him in his evil plans.

PRESIDENT BRUCE WILLIS: You fast and furious fucks nearly killed me and killed America, but you pulled it off. I still hate you but I give credit where it is due. The Rock, if you want to bang my daughter that is fine now, just get me back to the White House I have important President shit to do. THE ROCK: On behalf of all of us, you are welcome. I might bang your daughter later, thanks. Michelle will take you back to the White House. You know how to reach us sir. God bless the USA

The scene fades back to the heroes lair, the same setting as the beginning of the movie. They are realxing after the mission, pondering their futures.

JASON: Well The Rock, I’m definitely retiring. I’m booking a flight to Hawaii tonight. I just want to thank you for all the adventures and brotherly love. THE ROCK: You know brother, I believe you this time. I love you, but not in a gay way. (They hug and kiss on the lips) JASON: What are you gonna do? THE ROCK: I’m going to space to see my son, Optimus Prime, we have some business to take care of and to tell you the truth, I haven’t been a very good father.... JASON: You know, you are gonn have to explain that one to me sometime

The conversation is interrupted by a video phone ringing. It’s Vin Diesel. Jason reaches over and accepts the call

JASON: Vin, what’s up? VIN DIESEL: I’ve been trying to reach you guys all week! I heard that Macho-Borg broke out of prison! I smell an adventure cooking!

The Rock and Jason Statham laugh and hit the button to hang up. The credits roll as you hear the sound of a Bud Lite cracking open, then you hear some car noises then some butt rock song remixed with DMX rapping over it plays. The audience goes home to clean the poop and jizz out of their pants.

[angelhummel]

So in my big rewatch of the back half of the show, I’ve just finished all of season 4. And I found that I really like it. I always ranked it my fourth favorite (or my favorite least favorite season) but I think it might just move on up

I think it’s more tonally cohesive than a lot of the other seasons. The school shooting episode was obviously the heaviest, but I appreciated that it was just raw and real. There was no after school special feel to it. And besides that, there was still some good drama mixed with a lot of good comedy and fun times. Some things felt melodramatic and stupid- Will being mad at Finn for weeks over a kiss that meant nothing, Rachel’s awful, public confrontation of Brody and the fact that Brody got beat up and dragged through the mud and then forgotten 

I loved the guest appearances of SJP and Kate Hudson. Adam was still the most boring character and I literally don’t even remember seeing him on screen, and I watched all of s4 in like three days. Brody was just wonderful and I have a newfound love for him. And I’m gonna say it, but I absolutely adore all the newbies. I love the whole crop of people that are still in glee. They’re all ridiculously adorable, they have so many cute and sweet and funny moments together. I love the group numbers that are actually group numbers, not just Rachel someone singing lead while everyone else cheerfully sings backup. Also they’re all so ridiculously shippable. There’s honestly hardly a pair of people in the show that I don’t ship- aside from, you know, Blaine and any girl

Honestly a lot of my criticisms are just for little things, and things I’ve probably complained about at least once before (like Kurt’s total character wipe in order to be nothing more than Rachel’s GBF). And I think the music was a whole lot more crowd pleaser-y. And like no one had niche and diverse tastes. I mean if you look between the season one and two main cast, you can cover like 90% of music genres tbh. With this crop of kids it was like ...another top 40 song. Awesome. I mean I still love most of what they did but still. There could’ve been more big Broadway numbers besides just Company and JCS. Chicago and Grease are... very safe. But they gotta sell those songs on iTunes and get that coin so whatever 

And I think I cried more at this season this time around than I ever have. Totally unaffected by the breakup stuff now, but still. There’s a ton of stuff with Finn that hits so much harder since Cory died and some lines about the future and stuff just got me emotional, knowing what was to come. And I always cry at the school shooting episode. And I was lucky my sister shared my exact same thoughts about it- this is stupid and it’s nothing but I can appreciate some good acting. We both got emotional. And I even cried when Santana was dancing at NYADA and her younger self was there dancing too and she’s like “Don’t forget about me again, okay?” it got me so bad

Anyway idk how I would shift my rankings of the seasons around or anything, but I just found a new love for season four and I wanted to get my thoughts out there so :) Totally gonna be posting the same kinda stuff for season 5, and season 6 if we make it that far

[rossmccallsqueen]

80. going to your hs reunion with ben?

80. High School Reunion

Okay so you’re kind of nervous about your reunion

You only stayed friends with a few people after high school

You knew a lot of your classmates were doing pretty well for themselves

And you weren’t exactly sure where you were at

Like yes you loved your job and you had a great boyfriend but you still weren’t sure

“Babe are you ready to go? We’re gonna be late”

“I can’t decide what to wear!”

“You’ll look good in anything you choose!”

You just gave him a look

“Ben I have to impress these people!”

He looked a little confused but left you be. He knew better than to push you and didn’t want to make you unhappy

The drive to your old high school was a fun one

Ben wouldn’t stop blasting queen

“Ben my whole neighborhood is gonna know who you are if you don’t stop”

“What? You don’t wanna show me off?” 😜

Well that was kind of the goal

And you walk in and your friends are there and they all hug you

Of course they know Ben already and he gives them big hugs too

You were expecting everyone to look so different but it was weird to see no one really had

“You should check out Cory over there. He’s still an asshole jock” your friend tells you

“Of course he is. What’s he doing now anyway?”

“Works at the movie theater I think?”

And you looked around the room more and more and saw the girl who used to make fun of you all the time

Like she made your life a living hell and didn’t care

“Babe? Are you okay?”

“Yeah I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine... how about we dance? Take your mind off things?”

A dance with your gorgeous man definitely couldn’t hurt

“Who were you making that face at?”

“This girl who used to make fun of me a lot. High school wasn’t exactly fun”

“Is that why you were so worried about tonight? Was she who you wanted to impress?”

“Maybe a little?”

Ben just smiles at you and gives you a kiss

And the whole time this girl is looking at you like she’s mad Ben is kissing you

“Look at her. She doesn’t seem to be very nice. And you’re the nicest person I know”

“You don’t have to compare yourself to anyone. Everyone is at a different point in their life. And some people never change. But you did babe, and you’re such an amazing person”

“Never let anyone tell you otherwise. I love you. And I know you’re going to do great things.”

And he gives you another kiss 😭❤️

“You has nothing to be nervous about. Wow she still has that look on her face. You want me to dip you so we can really rub it in?”

Ben really was doing everything he could to make the night perfect for you

And in the end you knew he was right

And you had him, the cutest boy of them all. Reunions won’t be so bad after all!

[startyourfuturerp]

Just curious: why did you keep cory as Finn when that also makes others uncomfortable? Would he ever be considered for a swap?

Hey nonners. I definitely understand your confusion, and I’m more than happy to explain right beneath the cut.

The short answer to your question is at this point, no, Finn would not be considered for a faceclaim swap, namely because we already have a Finn using Cory as a faceclaim, which is not a secret. It’s on the characters page and on the quick follow to the right. I asked the people who joined in the beginning if they were comfortable with it, they all said yes, and everyone who has joined since then has…well, joined, so I figure they’re all alright with it as well. I’ve said it a gazillion times in the ooc - if anyone in-game is uncomfortable or upset about anything, please tell me and I’ll do my best to make it right.

Even if we didn’t have a Finn, though, I’d be reluctant to allow a change, unless the person applying was deeply distraught. I do not believe in the groupthink that can come along with the grpc deciding this face or that is #banned or #cancelled - and even if I did, no two fc bans are created equal. I’ve more or less made up my ow mind about what I’m comfortable with, and what I will engage with, and what I’m comfortable accepting into my little bubble and my little game.

What I mean to say, in no uncertain terms:

Cory Monteith, Mark Salling and Naya Rivera are not the same. 

It is incredibly, incredibly disrespectful of Cory’s memory to even so much as imply otherwise. I’ve had friends, family and family of friends go through mental illness, go through addiction of various kinds, and I’m here to say: it is not the same as abusing someone, which both Mark and Naya did (and in Naya’s case, yes, the charges were dropped, but if I’m still mad about Emma Roberts and Evan Peters, I’m still gonna be mad about Naya). Naya, I’m always a little on the fence about, especially because there’s a shortage of people who can work with her ethnicity and whole, y’know, attitude, but the point remains.

Mark and Naya hurt people. They hurt children. This is not okay.

Cory was sick. Cory was trying to get better. He didn’t.

Some people honor his memory by not using him as a faceclaim, and that’s fine. To each their own, we all grieve and love in different ways. That’s not the way I choose to honor Cory Monteith and Finn Hudson. I choose to honor him by remembering him. By making sure nobody forgets the good Cory did, and the incredibly awkward, bumbling, big-hearted boy Finn was. I want to keep his memory alive. The thing about recasting Glee characters - and I’m not sure if it’s the same for other fandoms, since for better or worse I live here - is that so much of the character is in their physicality. Rachel is short and has a nose and crippling self-worth issues compared to the ‘pretty girls’ and tiny boobs. Artie’s in a wheelchair. Tina stuttered. Finn is tall, doofy, gentle(ish, unless there’s chairs involved). Finn is an entirely different person when you throw someone like…I don’t know, KJ Apa into the role or whoever it is we’re trying to make fit Finn’s particular box nowadays. That’s no shade to KJ, either, because I’ve seen it work and seen it work well before, but it’s not just a matter of using different gifs - it never has been, but in my experience it is so much harder to find the right voice when the face doesn’t match. When the face isn’t the character. I’ve spent literal hours poring over fc directories, looking up gifhunts, begging creators to make gifs for this and that faceclaim, and it’s such a rare thing to find a non-canon face that actually feels like the character, at least for me. I’ve done it, like, twice, maybe, and I’ve been in this community since 2015 (yikes).

Anyway. I told myself from the jump that if I got a Finn app that blew me away that wanted to use a different faceclaim, at the writer’s request, I’d allow it. Our wonderful, wonderful Finn player chose to use Cory Monteith, as God and Ryan Murphy intended, and I swear, every single time I see him on the dash, it makes me happy and fuzzy on the inside. Because it helps me remember that he was here, that he was part of this thing we all loved. It helps me remember Cory. And like, I was never a big Finn or Cory stan. Finn was fine, sure, but he had some #yikes moments and I was too busy frothing at the mouth over klaine to ever pay as much attention to Finchel as other people did, and at that point I didn���t know anything or care to know anything about the cast.

I still cried for literally a whole entire day when he passed away. Like, cancelled plans to weep. My mom and I were trying to watch Glee at the time and she asked, so gently, if I still wanted to watch it, and I said yes. I cried every time he was on screen, and it hurt, but in a good way, because here, look, he was still with us, this way. He’s still speaking, singing, making dumb faces, drumming, being so full of life. And yes, I know for some people, that’s too painful. It’s too hard to look at someone being a way and know they’re not that way anymore. I get it. I really do.

It’s just - I don’t know, nons. I don’t know what else to tell you. It’s a personal decision and everybody’s entitled to their own take on it. As far as I know, no one in game has an issue with it, and if you do, if it would genuinely upset you to be in a game with Cory Monteith’s face, that’s perfectly understandable, and I can guarantee that there are many, many games out there who do use a different face or don’t have Finn at all, if that’s what you prefer. That’s not what I prefer. I’d love to have you - and anyone reading this - join SYF, but not at the expense of firstly an existing player and character in game, and not at the cause of ‘others’. If it’s you - especially if you’re someone in game already - that’s fine. That’s one thing. If it’s just vague people who may or may not feel a type of way, then…I’m sorry, I’m not going to choose potential people being hurt over existing people being happy.

I really hope you can understand that, nonny, and I hope you’re having a lovely day. Thank you for the ask.

[wildcatofgreen]

💭+ Lilac

Send 💭 + a topic and my muse will tell you what they think about it.

She stared at the gemerald, purple scrunchie wrapped around her wrist.

Her room was a damn mess. Like a hurricane came through here, knocking around every little thing into another corner of her room.

She was about to leave, about to go set things right, but...

Her eyes closed, her grip on the gemerald tighter than ever.

She had this sorrowful smile on her face, her body trembling.

"I'm a fuckin' idiot, ya'know?

"All this time, doin' all this shit, doin' so damn much.

"Fuck you, askin' me this now. Now, of all times." Her voice was shakey, she sniffled, "Stones know I'm gonna go an' make shit worse right now but Iun't got much of a fucking choice, do I?"

Her mind wandered.

All the times they spent alone together.

All the times they cuddled together, watched movies and t.v. together, raced together, teased each other, talked to another, stole together...

"I love 'er. We've been o'er this, yeah? Iun't need 'ta say it anymore, yeah? I admit that much. I've admitted that much. I'm'a fucked up girl, lovin' two people like I do.

"I've loved that stupid dragon girl for as long as I could remember. I ain't realize it until we were alone. Until we built that tree house together and actually lived together, survived together, played, laughed, and actually enjoyed things together. With each other.

"It ain't feel real, at first. None of it did. Imagine gettin' 'ta spend that much alone time with someone you're into. That shit don't happen. Not 'ta anyone.

"Cory knew, apparently. She ain't never hide that fact, just teased me 'bout it. I'd always say ''it aint like dat'' but she'd just go ''suuuuure''. It was embarrassing. I didn't think much about it, 'cept for when I was writin' in my diary. Keep it movin', Tea, keep it movin'--that's how I wanted to be.

"But the feelin's kept gettin' harsher. It came 'ta a head when Lyli was in trouble with Brev. I ain't never feel more guilty in my life, ain't never feel more scared in my life. How's a girl like me gonna abandon the one I love just 'cause she was scared.

"Promised 'ta never let it happen again, even if we did need help. Wasn't gonna let her get hurt, not on my watch, not if I could do somethin' about it.

"An' then it was me, her and Milla. An' then it was me, her, Milla and Sony. With the whole bunch of us in there, an' with me lovin' him, I couldn't really do much with just 'Lac anymore. Not really.

"But I still wanted to spend time. To... selfishly, have things go back to the way they were.

"Ain't wanna give Sony up neither. Love 'im too much to ever do that.

"An' now look at everythin'." She takes a moment to sit, sighing, "All my feelin's an' I might just fuck it all up again.

"She hates me, right now. That's the big thing I hate.

" 'Cause I ain't tell her shit. Some ''best friend'' I am."

She hung her head low.

"I love that girl too much, I know it already. She's my best friend. Someone I could never ever give up. Not inna million years, never ever ever.

"But I ain't gonna be mad if she chose to give up me. That's what she wants--it'll make her happy? "Go for it. I'm okay with that. Iun't deserve her anyway, either as a friend or anything more. She's too fuckin' good. She's so fuckin' good she don't even know it. She worries more than me, y'know? For all her bravado, she worries way more than me, takes the time to think about everythin'. Think I made 'er think less, sometimes. Bad influence, y'know? With how much I just dive head first she 'prolly picked it up and it's fucked her more often than not and I really wish I could just..."

She trails off.

Stares at her gem.

A vague picture, a silhouette, of the dragon is shown.

She gripped it even tighter.

"I'm stupid as shit for lovin' 'er. I'm stupid as shit for doin' all that I've done.

"But I can't think about that right now.

"Lyli's more important than any of that. Her bein' my friend is one of the most important things in the world to me."

The gemerald started to pulsate brighter.

"I can't fuck that up. I can't. I have to fix this shit. I have to."

It's glow started to envelope the wildcat.

She took notice, for once.

That same somber smile reared it's head again.

"An' once it's fixed.

"It can go back to normal, right?

"She'll come home again. We'll have fun again. It'll be us again.

"That's... that's how it'll be... right?"

Blip.

[loudsuitlover]

Nthng - Preview

A/N: It’s literally nothing but I posted it by mistake so now it’s gonna stay I guess 

“I can’t believe I trusted you out of all people to buy the costumes” You smiled as you shook your head at Nick, feeling completely exposed on the Juliet’s costume he had bought for you- with the lowest neckline you had ever worn. 

“It’s so nice to see you like this.” 

You rolled your eyes. 

“So now you’re gonna pretend you’re not the gayest man I know. Grimshaw, it’s too late for you.” 

“No” he playfully pushed your arm “I meant happy.” 

You giggled, feeling your cheeks turning pink as you looked down at the floor shrugging before you spoke. 

“Yeah, well, this audition thing is really doing wonders to my mind... But maybe it has something to do with Harry being hours away.” You smiled. 

But that’s when you heard his voice, cheerfully chatting to someone who must have been walking your way too. You turned around, your heart on your throat, only to be met with his green, happy eyes, and those of his sister, walking next to him. 

“Wow!” He grinned. “You look gorgeous!” 

“Yeah, uh, thank you.” You blushed. “It’s... It’s for an audition... A silly thing I’m doing with Nick.” 

“It’s not silly.” He frowned. “For all we know they might even pick us.” 

“Sure.” You shrugged sarcastically which only earned you another swat on your shoulder. 

“An audition, hey?” Harry smiled. “I can’t wait for you to tell me about it.” 

“Yeah, uh, what are you doing here? Weren’t you in LA with Cory?” 

“Yeah.” He nodded. 

How could he tell you? That yes he had broken up with yet another girlfriend, again, because yes, as close of friends as you were, he was also very much in love with you- he had been for years- and every time he was away from you for too long he just started acting weird and then he had to break up with whoever it was that he was seeing at the time because it just didn’t feel right to lie in the face of someone like that. 

But he just looked at you and gave you a happy smile and you hated that it hurt so bad to see your best friend happy. It was just hard really, to be in love with someone who would never love you back, to love your best friend in a very inappropiate way and yet as hard as you tried, not being able to change the way you felt about him. He had been dating Cory for a little over four months now so it seemed to be serious this time and you... You just couldn’t forget about it. 

“Well we... I mean I... I have to go.” You told him. 

“Now?” He pouted. “But I just got here and I haven’t seen you in so long! Will you just have a cup of coffee with me, please? I’ve missed you.” He smiled. 

“I just... I, uh... I really need to go though because... uh.... because I’m going to the... I have to go to...”

“The theatre” Nick interrupted “yeah, I’m actually going with her. We got the tickets a while ago.” 

“Oh, really?” Harry asked. “And what are you watching?” 

“It’s, uh, it’s called The Play” Nick raised his eyebrows as you kept blushing redder and redder because man he was fucking it up “yeah, it’s independent theatre you probably don’t know it. It’s about a girl that buys his best friend dinner because he gets her out of a very uncomfortable situation with her crush who turns out to be the love of her life actually. They eat at a sushi place.” Nick said while you coughed for him to stop. 

“Oh” Harry frowned “that’s a weird plot.” 

“It has very good critic though.” You said, pushing Nick out of the scene. “We’re running late.” You smiled. 

“Sure. Call me later. We can have dinner or... Like just watch a movie or something, order Chinese...” 

“Yeah, we’ll... we’ll see.” You smiled, disappearing from the scene as if the devil was trying to catch you. 

An hour later you were changed into jeans and a sweater and having sushi with Nick at the restaurant he wanted. He was smiling out from ear to ear as he scrolled on his phone. 

“They eat at a sushi place, really?” You asked with narrowed eyes patiently waiting for him to text whoever it is that was texting him. 

“Excuse me little uh...mmhm....um.... Had it been for you we would still be there.” 

You rolled your eyes. 

“Doesn’t he look so handsome?” You sighed. “I don’t know how it’s possible but every time he comes back he looks better...” 

Nick looked up at you, stopping his texting, but you didn’t really see him since you were daydreaming with Harry’s dimples, waiting for your sushi to share to arrive. 

“Listen, if you’re gonna tell him how you feel, you gotta stop thinking about him like that.” 

“Of course I’m not gonna tell him how I feel!” You exasperated as if the only thought of telling him sounded ridiculous enough to scream. “He’s got a girlfriend and you saw how happy he was. I think she might even be the one...” A tinge of jealousy burned your chest. “But it’s not like I can even be mad. She’s great, perfect for him too. He would never look at me like that anyway, Cory or no Cory in the picture.” 

“You are a proper idiot.” Nick said, thanking the waitress when she left the huge tray of sushi on the table. “He was completely head over heels for you before you left for Australia and then when you came back it was as if he had been waiting for you but you had no better thing to do than to tell him all about that Jack guy who anyway you were not going to ever see again.” 

“That is not true.” You frowned. “He’s never been into me. We’re just friends.” 

“He’s been into you since he met you!” He frowned. “And everybody knows that.” 

“Literally nobody thinks that.” 

“Uh, Niall” He started listing a ridiculous amount of people you barely knew who you were sure had never even mentioned anything even remotely close to your friendship with Harry but you just rolled your eyes and nodded. “He just texted me, by the way” Nick shrugged “asked me about you.” 

“Who? Niall?” You frowned. 

“No, you goose! Harry!” 

“Did he?” You checked your phone. “Well he didn’t text me...” 

“Yeah well he just asked is something’s up with you.” 

“Really? Oh my God! Do you think he knows? Who would have told him? Do you think Gemma knows? I knew I was being too obvious!”

Nick’s eyes looked into your own as if you had literally gone mad, a big piece of sushi on his mouth. He swallowed, then drank some water before he made fun of you. 

“When? Before you said “I, uh, I... have to go.... uh.... because I....” or when you told him “yeah, well, we’ll see.” He raised his eyebrows. “He literally asked you out and you told him yeal well we’ll see. And you want him to text you?” 

“He did not ask me out! We’re friends! He said we could watch a movie or something and quite frankly Nicholas I don’t know if I’m ready to watch a movie with him.” 

“You’re not going to marry him, Y/N, you’re just going to have Chinese and watch a movie. And... I mean for the love of God you’ve been friends for how long? Five years? And now you can’t watch a movie with him?” 

“Well I wasn’t in love with him before!” 

“Cak uh fell in?” He was the most disgusting friend you had, talking with his mouth full of rice, but for some reason- and at that very moment you didn’t know why- you wouldn’t change him for the world. 

“What?” 

“Can I tell him?” 

“No!”

“Well then stop talking about him! And let’s talk about our casting tomorrow. Do you think I look too gay when I play Romeo?” 

[somerandomwriter1234]

Riley and Maya: I Think I Wanna Marry You - Chapter 8 (Married Life Begins)

Riley woke up in a large bed and looked at Maya laying next to her on her side already awake. The two girls smiled as Riley said, "Hey." Maya then said, "How ya doin honey?" Riley then said, "Just happy I get to wake up next to you every morning for the rest of our lives. How long have you been up?" Maya then said, "About an hour." Riley then said, "Well you could've started to shower or have breakfast or something. You don't have to get out of bed at the same time as me." Maya then said, "I know. I just like looking at you while you sleep. So cute and innocent." Riley giggled and said, "I love you. You know that?" Maya then got up top of Riley and kissed her on the lips for a solid minute. Once they finished kissing, the two embraced the other tightly with their arms as Maya said, "Just being with you like this... it's the greatest feeling in the world." Riley then said, "It's too bad this is the last morning of our honeymoon. This hotel is just so perfect." Maya then said, "Well lets just be glad my college scholarship included free housing for myself and my spouse. So even though both of our funds are low, we still get to live the happy married life essentially for free. Pretty good deal all things considered." Riley then said, "Yeah. Although with our low funds, it stinks we couldn't hire movers to help us with our things." Then Maya said, "Don't worry. Zay, Farkle and Smackle said they'd come here in the afternoon to help us move our things. So no worries. Now then..." Maya then began to sit up as she said, "You prepare breakfast while I prepare a special present for you." A smiling Riley said, "Ooo. One more wedding present. So exciting."

Riley who was now wearing a tied up bath robe was beginning to brew some coffee in the kitchen area of the hotel room. Riley then heard a knock on the door and said, "Hmm. Who could that be?" Riley then went over to the door and opened it seeing Zay, Smackle, and Farkle. A surprised Riley said, "Guys. What are you doing here?" Farkle then said, "You said to come over and help you start moving late, after noon. So here we are." Riley then said, "No. I meant in the late afternoon. Like around 4 or 5pm. Not just after 12pm. Me and Maya aren't ready to go. In fact we weren't expecting company after..." Suddenly the four heard Maya say, "Time to open your present Riley." Suddenly Maya stepped out of the bathroom wearing only a bath robe. Maya then began to open her bath robe up as she said, "It's time for your naughty gift and... OH MY GOD!" Maya then became freaked out as she saw Zay, Smackle, and Farkle at the door. Maya immediately tied her bath robe back up while Zay covered his eyes, Smackle stood in shock, and with wide eyes Farkle said, "Whoa... it's one of my middle school fantasies come to life." Smackle then hit Farkle in the shoulder and Farkle then said, "OW! Sorry Smackle. I mean she doesn't look nearly as good as you when you did that same thing for me on my birthday." Smackle then hit Farkle in the shoulder very hard and Farkle then said, "OW! Sorry I blabbed about that, but cut me some slack. It's not like I told them about your secret stash of special photos you shared with me." Smackle then hit Farkle in the shoulder extremely hard and then Farkle said, "OW! Okay, I'll stop talking now." Maya already went back into the bathroom to hide as Riley said, "Just come back in an hour okay?"

Riley and Maya both walked down a small hallway with bags as Riley said, "It's too bad we had to wait in the lobby for four hours before the dorm manager could come back and give us our room keys. We couldn't even have our friends help us carry our stuff in." Maya then said, "Eh, it'll feel more like our place if we do all the heavy lifting ourselves. Now then, here's a room number. Riley my love, welcome to our new home." Maya then opened the door and then she and Riley gasped at what they saw. The two saw an open apartment with no furniture anywhere. A confused looking Riley said, "I thought there'd be at least tables, chairs, and kitchen cabinets." As the two began to look around their new dorm Maya said, "There's a working frig and oven which they did promise us. But no counter top to prepare food on. No cabinets to store food in. No place to eat. Nothing to sit on. Not even a bed." Riley then said, "What's with this!? We got ripped off! It's time we start complaining to somebody!"

Riley and Maya stood in front of a young man sitting behind a desk who said, "This was in the fine print when you signed the paperwork. There's nothing else we can do." Maya then said, "But come on. A dorm with no furnishings? There's gotta be rules against that." The young man then said, "Some dorms do have furnishings already present but there's no law guaranteeing that. Plus you both moved into a brand new dorm. Like people moving into a brand new house, there's no guarantee that furniture will be present. You should've looked at the photos we provided you of the place before you came in." Riley then said, "But we were busy planning our wedding and..." The young man then said, "Look. You're just gonna have to take care of this yourself. I'll keep an eye out if anybody moving into the old dorms is getting rid of any furniture there. But that's the best I can do." Maya sighed and then said, "Thank you." Riley and Maya then began to walk away as Maya said, "Only we don't have any money to buy any furniture." Then Riley said, "Well... not yet anyway."

In their dorm room Riley held her cell phone up as she was in the middle of a video chat with her parents: Cory and Topanga. An upset looking Riley said, "No!? What do you mean no!?" Topanga then said, "We're not loaning you money Riley. You and Maya have a roof over your head and food. You're just going to have to make the most of your situation." An upset Riley said, "Make the most of our situation!? Mom, we're going to have to eat our meals on the floor. We don't even have a couch to get cozy on together that we can watch movies on and..." Topanga then said, "Riley, marriage isn't just about comfort. It's about dealing with hardships together." Then a mad looking Riley said, "But what about family helping us through our hardships? I mean can't you see that..." Then a stern looking Cory said, "No Riley. You made a choice. A choice to get married to Maya and begin a new family with her. And you said you were ready for that after we said it wasn't going to be easy. Did you think we were kidding? Did you think you two were just gonna play house the rest of your life and we would just always be there to bail you out of trouble? I know this isn't easy to hear Riley but it's you and Maya's world you're living in now. Not ours. It's up to you to solve this yourselves. Goodbye." The screen then went black as a sad looking Riley said, "Goodbye."

Maya was laying on the floor covered by a blanket while looking at her phone while Riley sat down next to her. Riley sighed and said, "My parents won't help us." Maya then said, "Mine neither. And it gets worse. I was just doing some math on the food allowance my scholarship gives us. It's enough money to cover one person's eating expenses but not two." A scared looking Riley said, "You mean I have to starve now!?" Maya made a small smirk and said, "No honey. You're not going to starve. But it means by the middle of the month, we'll run out of food money. Which means... we're going to have to find another source of income fast. I mean we can just store food in boxes and have dinner on the floor but... it's gonna mean nothing if we can't eat at all." Riley then said, "You mean... we have to get jobs!?" Maya then said, "No. To maintain my scholarship and thus keep this dorm, I need to take classes full time and keep my grades up. Which is gonna take a lot of my week to maintain. So Riley... you are going to have to find a job." An upset looking Riley said, "What? But wait. We were gonna be freshmen in school together at the same time. Yeah, we wouldn't be taking the same classes at the same campus but it was gonna be kind of like high school and..." Maya then said, "We're not in high school anymore honey. You have to do this... for us." Riley sighed and laid on her side as she said, "I thought this marriage thing was gonna be easy. I thought..." Maya then laid on her side and touched Riley's chin with her hand as she said, "Hey. You've still got me. We're gonna get through this." Riley calmed down and said, "Yeah. Thanks Maya. I love you." Maya smiled as she said, "I know. I love you too. And no matter what... we'll take on the world... together."

TO BE CONTINUED...

Upcoming Chapters For the Series:

-Chapter 9: The Difficulties of Adulthood (Coming 3/24)

-Chapter 10: The Secret is Revealed (Coming 3/26)

-Chapter 11: Summer Camp Counselors Part 1 of 3 (Coming 3/28)

*Note - To read the entire series in one convenient location, click here - https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13229693/

[lethargic-hunter]

Happiness Ask! Who are three roleplayers that you admire, love or that inspire you? Why? Tell us about them and then pass this along! Share the love! Spread it like a fatal disease! :D

[OOC] - ONLY THREE? You’re asking a lot– I’m not going to share it, because a lot of people get uncomfortable with asks like this. However, I’m more than open to giving my friends the love and attention they deserve.

..I’m gonna need a read more..

first off we have

@boficionado - RACCOON!! Coon is an absolute sweetheart and an amazing person to talk with. Their art is amazing, their writing is simply phenomenal, and I’ve fallen completely for their Donatello. Not only because of my ship with them, although that ship murders me every time I talk about it. I’m always so inspired by everything that they do– I can’t wait to see where the future takes them, because they have so much talent I love it. As a friend, I couldn’t ask for anyone better, because they’re also so supportive and wonderful. Thank you for helping me to overcome a bit of my shyness, Coon

@fireinclined - ROOKS. My absolute favourite story-teller like oh my gosh. I remember when I first started following their blog, I felt like a kid in a candy store with the lore they had and Cassandra’s story. She is absolutely one of my FAVE OCs of all time–not just even on Tumblr. Rooks’ love for her story, and Cassandra is so obvious even by just looking at her blog, how could you not help but to feel inspired? Rooks is another amazing, talented person who makes me SO excited so see where they’ll go, and I support them ALWAYS 500%!

@llonheart - Cori Cori Cori.. Oh my gosh. I’m so blown away by how quickly we became friends, considering we’re both ridiculously shy. However I’m eternally grateful to have them around, I can’t express it enough. Not only are they another amazing writer, but they’re a fucking wizard with their artwork, and I LOVE everything they show me. They’re an inspiration for myself, and I will never hesitate to show everyone else how awesome and sweet they are. Hands down they are definitely one of the best, and most talented people I have ever met on tumblr

..FUCK IT I HAVE TO DO MORE! I HAVE TO. MY FRIENDS DESERVE THIS.

@heylingoth - MY HUSBAND. Honestly tho like I could talk about them for years and never shut up?? They are one of my first, one of my best, and most amazing friends I’ve ever made on this website. Every single muse they play is spot-on, and so cared for and well-handled, you would think they wrote these characters themselves, and are just playing their own characters. As a friend, they’ve always been there for me, they’ve always been a wonderful, loving friend. I love them so, SO much I can’t even begin putting it down into words. They’re a constant inspiration for me to keep going–whenever I’m down they swoop right in with advice and love that always keeps me going. I love you so much you honestly have no idea

@tenderborn - MILES!! Ahhh, I have so much love for them it’s ridiculous. Miles is a complete sweetheart and I’m always going to do what I can to support them with everything that they do. Their Mikey is a darling, and he’s just the right amount of how I feel his character should have been played, I often forget he’s really not. I love the way they write for him, and they have so many amazing and wonderful ideas– the Halloween event for example, even if it was sudden, was SO much fun to be involved with, and Miles did what they could to keep everyone wrapped together, which is a feat all on it’s own. YOU’RE AMAZING MILES THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME A CHANCE AT WRITING WITH YOU.

@purpletechtyrtle - JEEEE!! They have quickly become one of my most amazing friends, and I can definitely say their Donatello is made with pure love. I can’t get enough of how well they play him, and I forget so many times that English isn’t their first language. You can clearly feel the love they have for any character they play, and it’s such a relieving and inspiring thing, because you can feel the passion in the way that they write, even when they’re having a day that isn’t going so well. Please don’t ever stop Jee, because my gosh you’re amazing!

@dxmnmxtal -LAY!! So quickly we’ve become close friends, and I just want you to know how much I love you! Not only is your Casey an absolute joy to write with, you as a person are such a sweetheart.. You’re always so considerate and kind, protective and strong. You’re an inspiration for me to push myself forward and to get stronger every day, and I’ll always be here for you when you need a friend. Thank you for being so awesome! NEVER STOP DOING WHAT YOU LOVE DOING. Your Casey is AMAZING.

@orenjininja - SQUISH AAAAHHHH. Although we don’t talk very often, Squish is constantly an inspiration for me because of how much love they put into their writing. It’s so easy to see how much love and passion they have for every character they play, and it’s so well-done it’s as though Squish actually wrote the script themselves with how these characters should be. It’s amazing, and I have so much respect for you it’s bananas. Keep on going!! YOU CAN DO IT!

@red-and-restrained - JELI!! dljkfhj Definitely one of the biggest sweethearts I have ever had the pleasure of talking to. Jeli is both a wonderful person and an amazing writer, and I’m so delighted and over the moon that they’re willing to put up with me and my crazy muse, and that they have so much love for him it’s insane. Their Raph is pure love, I always want to see what he has to say, and they have captured him so perfectly and have so much love for him it’s insanity, but it draws you in and you can’t help but to love him too. THANK YOU FOR DOING WHAT YOU DO, AND BEING SO WONDERFUL WHILE DOING THE THING. ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT I LOVE YOU.

@thequirklesshero - Fucking-A. MY BEST FRIEND IS SUCH AN ASS, but I love her anyways. Erica/Desmond (Dedmond, as I have affectionately given her said title) is an amazing force in my life outside of Tumblr and even sometimes IN tumblr, provided I can get her to love me. She and I have been best friends for years, despite all the problems we’ve had in the past. I will always have her back, I will always stick up for her no matter what happens. I might have times where I get mad at her, but I’ll always circle back and be ready to scream at her just how much I love her. If you want an adorable person to scream with you about the things you’re passionate about? This nerd right here is the one for you. Just don’t feed her before she goes to bed please.

There are so many amazing, and creative people out there, I can’t keep listing them like this or else I’m going to have to publish it as a book.

@ridireacht , @hopelostindays , @couldntfindanybullets , @typenullly , @mimicveil , @beautiful-despite-herself , @aetherbeast , @tartypatoos, @defensivesarcasm , @queenmiko , @chase-eternally-young , @purexinstict, @mikeybro2k12 , @lcnelymccn , @vivalarevolutionassassin , @parisian-eagle , @itslikethesun , @shrimpyscriptmage , @fearbehindasmile , @duzmachines95

There are so many more URLs I could put here that have become a constant source of inspiration for my blog. If it wasn’t for these amazing, talented people I would have likely given up RPing a long time ago. Please take the time to check out everyone here and I hope you enjoy yourselves– because these people mean a lot to me, even if some of them and I don’t talk much. I love them all, I support them, I’m always going to cheer them on with whatever challenges they face, and I’m so very thankful to be even 1% of their lives. 

Thank you guys so much for everything that you do. Keep writing, keep being awesome, and I love you all so much! 

[bad-exo-imagines]

The Best of Both Worlds

The Daily Lives of a High School Koreaboo - part 3

Background: I wrote a joke fic for my friend for her birthday and it got out of control. Then i thought, it’d be perfect for this blog. I had to change a few things to make it a more universal fic, so the main character is “you”. Just like any other classis self-insert fic Y/N means your name.

part 1, part 2

Minhyuk stood up and sat on top of Y/N’s desk, placing himself between her and Cory to ensure he wouldn’t try to talk to her again. He had his body facing the rest of class, eyes scanning around. The desks were arranged in rows of 5, and being 6 rows, bringing the total to 30 desks. No one sat in the front seats in homeroom, and they all had sat in the same seats since freshmen year, minus 4 kids who dropped out or were expelled, and now adding the foreign exchange student.  There was now 21 students in Mr. Kwon’s homeroom. But how many will make it through the year? The Terror Triplets got up and crowded around Y/N and Minhyuk.

Taemin smiled and pointed at the desk in the front right corner, “See him? The blonde with streaks of blue? That’s Lee Howon, or Hoya. To the left of him with the long brown hair is Lee Sungyeol. And next to him with the auburn faux hawk is Nam Woohyun. The three of them have been close since 5th grade. They’re pretty cool guys, Woohyun and I have hung out from time to time but I swear he’s better friends with my mom.”

The bluenette piped in “Behind Hoya is Kim Namjoon, but we all call him Rap Monster since in the  talent show freshmen year he did a really great rap with a sophomore Min Yoongi and the brunette kid sitting next to him Jung Hoseok, who we call J Hope. The two of them are cool, really weird though. J Hope is kind of the class clown of our grade.”

Kai pointed at a group of girls huddled in the corner “The one with the short ginger hair is Ahn Hyejin, or Hwasa. Brown pigtails sitting behind her is Kim Yongsun, or Solar. Dirty blond next to Solar  with the red lips is Moon Byulyi, we call her Moonbyul. The dirty blonde with wavy hair in front of Moonbyul next to Hwasa is Jung Wheein… she has no cool nickname. They formed a club called Mamamoo, no one really knows what they do? Sometimes you walk passed the club room and you can hear singing though so...”

Minhyuk pointed at the auburn haired girl next Wheein,  “She is Tiffany.  No one knows her real name, other than Tiffany is her middle name in her English name. She’s a mystery. The black haired girl talking to her behind her is Kwon Yuri. Those two are two of the most popular girls in our school. Don’t get me wrong, they’re not heartless. They’re popular because they’re nice, pretty, and smart.”

A short haired blonde haired person grabbed Taemin by the shoulders “What, are you just gonna ignore me on the first  day?”

Taemin turned around and face lit up “Amber!” The purple haired boy got up wrapped the shorter blonde girl in huge hug. Kai smiled at the two before seeing a girl with bright red hair close behind.

“Hi Jongin” the red haired girl said with a smile.

“Uh, hi Soojung.” Kai said clearly not wanting to talk to the girl. Her smile faltered at the name.

Ravi threw his arm around Kai’s shoulder, “Hi Krystal.”

Minhyuk leaned to Y/N and whispered “Amber Liu, Taemin’s long term friend. She’s a really chill person, she’s from the states too so if you ever need help with korean she’d be the person to talk to since she’s extremely fluent in english and korean.”

“I’m fluent in korean too!” The foreigner said smacking his arm.

“And the red haired girl is Jung Soojung, but she prefers her english name Krystal Jung. She’s Kai’s ex girlfriend.”

Y/N looked in shock between Kai and Krystal, understanding now why Kai looked so uncomfortable. They noticed there was still one person that wasn’t explained. They pointed at the black haired kid listening to music.

“Bang Yongguk.” Minhyuk said leaving it at that, Y/N giving him a questioning look like they were waiting for him to continue.

Kai sighed and turned to Y/N and Minhyuk, trying to get out of the conversation with Krystal. “Hey guys gimme your schedules.”

Minhyuk and Y/N reached into their jacket pockets and handed Kai the white papers. As Kai looked at the schedules, Minhyuk turned to Y/N “And I’ve already told you all about Cory and Kisu.” He said loud enough for the two to hear.

Kisu and Cory exchanged annoyed looks before looking back down at the papers sprawled out on their pushed together desks. Ravi looked over Kai’s shoulder at the schedules.

“Oh, Y/N, you have science with me and Taemin.” Ravi said looking up smiling

Kai scrunched his nose “I don’t have any classes with anyone”

The bluenette laughed and patted Kai on the back. “Hey you said that last year but you got to have math with Chanyeol~.”

Kai let out a groan and flopped into Minhyuk’s desk. “Out of all the people in the whole school.” He grumbled.

“Park Chanyeol,” Minhyuk said turning to Y/N, “He’s been madly in love with Kai since our freshmen year. He graduated last year though”

“It’s always the ones who dye their hair red.” Ravi said quietly looking over at Krystal who was talking with Amber and Taemin. Kai let out a loud groan and banged his head on the desk. “You can’t help the fact that you’re so pretty.” Ravi said in a joking tone elbowing Kai.

“Hey Krystal, Amber, come check this out!” Tiffany said from the other side of the room, drawing the other two girls away.

“Thank god.” Kai said raising his head from the desk.

“Sorry Kai” Taemin said softly looking at the ground.

“It’s not your fault dude.” Kai said back.

“Hey lemme see those.” Taemin said grabbing the schedules. “Oh dude, you have Kim Kibum for Home ec?” Taemin said looking up at Y/N smiling.

“I guess so” They said shrugging.

“That’s my mom!” Taemin said beaming before letting out a laugh “Oh my god Y/N are you stalking me and my family?”

“Huh?”

“You have my uncle for Hangal, Lee Jinki.”

“Dude what the hell, you just have all the best teachers.” Kai said grabbing back Y/N’s schedule. “Nicest teachers in the whole school honestly.” Minhyuk said turning to them.

Kai snorted as he read something on the schedule. “Oh my god you have my mom as a teacher. Kim Junmyun.”

“JUNMONEEEEY!” Ravi shouted in a weird voice before laughing.

Kai handed back Y/N’s schedule “I’m so sorry. Be prepared for the worst economics class in the whole world.”

“As if there could be a good one?” Y/N said grabbing the schedule back, looking at it again.

Y/N looked up at the group questioningly, “How come both of your moms work here?”

“Ravi’s does too.” Kai said nudging the bluenette “That’s how all of us meet you know? Our parents are all co-workers and pretty close so they would all hang out and just let the three of us run around.”

Someone reached over and grabbed Y/N’s schedule from thier hand. The group turned to see Cory holding the paper and Kisu looking over his shoulder. Minhyuk’s jaw clenched when Cory spoke “Look’s like we’ve got history darling~.”

“Oh look,” Kisu pointed at the paper “We have Home Ec together.”

Minhyuk stood up and snatched the paper out of Cory’s hands, glaring at him. Cory smiled at the ebony haired boy. The teacher called out from his desk. “Minhyuk. Cory. It’s the first day. Can’t you two just chill for one day?”

Cory and Minhyuk apologized, smiled still present on Cory’s face. Minhyuk sat back on Y/N’s desk and handed them their schedule. Ravi sighed and crouched down and laid his head on Minhyuk’s desk that Kai was still sitting in. Kai reached out and started to pet the blue hair before realizing they were in school and abruptly stopped. Taemin walked around the desks and sat on the ground next the Ravi.

“Cory do you think he’s more mad at the fact that it was us that have classes with one of his friends or that it’s with Y/N?” Kisu asked smugly, making sure the group could hear.

“The way he’s acting I may think it’s the second. Did the big bad Lee Minhyuk fall in love?” Cory spoke in a mocking voice.

“Again.” Kisu clarified.

Minhyuk was about to yell at them when the man next to them stood up. Yongguk took his earbuds out and walked over in front Cory and Kisu and leaned on their desks. People in the room got quiet fast and turned to look at what was going on. Yongguk looked back and forth between the two for a moment before finally speaking, “Shouldn’t you guys be worrying about something else?”

Everyone in the room seemed to be confused except for Cory and Kisu who looked down sheepishly. Kisu whispered something that wasn’t audible to the rest of the room. Yongguk stood up straight and turned to the teacher, “Sir, I’m going to the bathroom.” He put in his earbuds and walked out of the room.

There was a moment of silence before Cory got up and ran out the door after him, Kisu following behind, both excusing themselves. Slowly everyone’s eyes turned to Minhyuk to see if he’d follow too, everyone unsure what just happened. Minhyuk laughed and turned to his friend group, pretending to be oblivious to the eyes staring at him.

“How come they can leave but not me?” J hope said quietly in the silent room.

After a few seconds the class went back to socializing, every once in awhile a student peeking over at Minhyuk or the door, anticipating the drama they all grew to miss during the summer. After only a few minutes of the extended homeroom remained Cory and Kisu reentered, ignoring the looks from everyone in the room. Right behind them was Yongguk, putting his earbuds back in and messing with his IPod to find a good song. Minhyuk was the only one who didn’t bother to look at the three. After they settled into their seats and there wasn’t anything dramatic happening everyone once again went back to their conversations.

When the bell rang Kisu turned around to Y/N, “Here, walk with me.”

“What? Why?” Y/N said slightly disgusted.

“Why not? You don’t know where you’re going and I’m going to the same room. Lee Minhyuk’s class in on the other side of the school anyway. Come on.” Kisu grabbed their wrist and dragged them out before they or Minhyuk could protest. Once they were out of an ear shot from Minhyuk he spoke again. “He’s not completely innocent too you know. No one at Incheon Nonhyeon is.”

Y/N didn’t respond to Kisu, instead focused on trying to remember the path from homeroom to home ec so they wouldn’t have to walk with him as soon as possible. They entered the room and were greeted greatly, or Kisu was at least.

“Kisu-hyung!” Two voices called from their table.

The room was large, much bigger than their homeroom. The room had 5 ovens on the back wall, 10 sinks, and was lined with counters and cabinets all the way around room, labels on them reading different foods, fabrics, and various other things. There was 2 tables in the center of the room that the students sat at. There was a door off to the side that was just barely open and light peeked out through the cracks.

Kisu turned back to Y/N “Care to sit with me?”

They hesitated before nodding. They sat down in the seat next to Kisu, and across from a dirty blonde haired boy who sat next to a black haired boy with a pompadour. Kisu smiled at the boys. “Guys, this is Y/N. They’re an exchange student..”

“Oh cool.” The onyx haired boy said.

“I’m Liang Hui!” The rose gold blonde said “And this is Kim Jinhong. What grade are you?”

“I’m a senior.” They said timidly.

“Aish, Hui we gotta find people to talk to that aren’t gonna leave us next year!” Jinhong said leaning back in his seat and crossing his arms.

“We’re freshmen” Hui said softly.

The room filled up with students and they all sat into different seats. They heard a dramatic gasp. “Y/N- (NOONA/HYUNG)!”

Y/N cringed slightly, but still turned to see Jimin, Jungkook and V smiling brightly at them. Jimin hurried over and sat down next to the foreigner. Jungkook sat down next to Jimin, then V next to him. Soon after they sat the starting bell rang.

A person entered from the side room carrying a pink binder. His hair was lavander on the top and on the side and dark blonde almost brown, his eyebrows were the same blonde. He had dramatic black eye makeup that made his eyes pop. The man wore a black button up shirt and black shorts. He stood in between the tables and smiled at everyone.

“Hello everyone! I’m Mr. Kim Kibum, but many upperclassmen know me as Key. Nice to meet you all! Hopefully you’re all in the right room, Home Ec first period right? Alright good! Sooooo...” He opened up the binded and pulled a pen from his shirt pocket. The teacher let out a laugh “Woah~ I knew we had a lot of  foreign exchange students this year but gee golly! Alright let’s see,”

“First we have Boo Seungkwan!”

“Here!” A brunette boy with chubby cheeks at the table rose his hand excitedly “I’m Korean, born here too and I’m a freshmen.”

“Nice to meet you Seungkwan! Choi Hansol?”

A boy who looked like he belonged on the titanic rose his hand “Here sir.”

“Hey there Hansol! Oh, Choi Kisu.” Key called. Y/N definitely picked up on the flat tone of voice.

“Nice to see you again Mr. Kim.” Kisu smiled widely, the same fake smile he gave to Minhyuk.

“Finally made it to your senior year Kisu? Glad to see it. Next is Choi Seungcheol”

“Here,” A black haired boy called from the far end of the table.

“Hello Seungcheol!” He called out a few more students. Hirari Momo, a girl with a Japan accent with yellow-blonde hair in a high ponytail. Im Nayeon, with a matching hairstyle as Momo except brown. The two had matching jewlery too. Then there was Jungkook who Jimin cheered for making Y/N laugh a little. At their table the was also Lee Chan who Y/N heard be called Dino, and at the other table there was a girl with brown and orange hair named Kim Dahyun. Then Kim Jinhong who was called next followed by V, which Y/N learned his real name is Taehyung.

“Hi Taehyung! Liang Hui~?” Key said the name slightly more happy than the others, if possible.

“Here!” Hui called just as happy.

“Hey Hui-ya!” The students looked at Hui after Mr. Kim added the causal ending to his name but he just looked at his phone unphased. Key called out four more names. Minatozaki Sana and Myoui Mina both with Japanese accents. Then there was of course the ever happy Park Jimin. Next was Park Jisoo, a red haired girl with big doe eyes.

Kisu leaned over to Y/N. “That whole table over there? That’s Twice.”

Y/N galnced at the table, then back to Kisu. “Twice?”

Jimin quickly turned to Y/N, almost to distract them. “Y/N look at my cute new phone case!”

Mr. Kim called out the last three names. Son Chaeyoung, a brunette with dark red lipstick from Korea. Yoo Jeongyeon who had short pink hair from Korea. Zhou Tzuyu who had a Taiwanese accent.

“Any one I forgot?” Key asked.

Y/N rose their hand “I’m Y/N, I recently got added to this class.” As Y/N spoke, Kisu looked up from his phone and stared at them. They tried their best to ignore it and focus on responding to the teacher.

“Howdy Y/N! I’ll make sure to get a list with you on it then.”

He pulled a chair out from the table and moved it to his spot in the middle of the tables and sat down, he looked down at his binder. “So that would make 20 students, yeah? Well I’m glad you’re all here today!”

Key went over the rules, expectations, and answered any questions the students had before giving them the last 15 minutes at the end to walk around and socialize. The two tables however stayed were they were to talk, all talking to each other from across their tables.

“Hui what the heck?” Dino asked.

“Huh?” The boy blinked a few timed confused.

“He called you Hui-ya right away. What’s up with that?” Seungkwan piped in.

“Oh,” Hui let out a laugh “Key’s my aunt!”

“WHAT!?” The group on that side of the table exclaimed, excluding Jinhong who looked unimpressed.

Hui cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted “HEY TEACH!!”

Key turned around from his conversation with the girl group to see Hui motioning him to come over with a smile and most of the boys at the table looking shocked. He excused himself and made his way over. “Yes?”

“How do you know me?” Hui said smiling.

Key let out a laugh before answering more towards the others than Hui. “You’re my brother-in-law’s son.”

“See I told you guys!” Hui said with a goofy smile.

Key ruffled Hui’s hair before walking back to the girls.

“Wait,” Y/N said “that means you’re Lee Taemin’s cousin right?”

Hui smiled widely “Yeah! You know him?”

“Sort of? I just met him today.”

Kisu rubbed the back of his neck nervously, Y/N shot him a questioning look before thye heard a voice from the front of the room. “Hey Mom.” Y/N looked up to see Kai, Taemin, and Ravi standing in the door frame. In fact the whole class looked to see what was happening.

“Boys, what are you doing here?” Key asked sighing

“... uhhh.” The three looked at each other “We had to pee?” Ravi answered.

“Boys it’s the first day. Can you stay out of trouble for once?” Key put his hands on his hips as he talked.

“I actually have a reason to be here!!” Kai said holding up his hall pass.

Key snatched it out of his hands “Oh wow, it’s not blank. Surprising.” The students who actually knew the Terror Triplets laughed. “Why are you here Jongin?”

“For them.” Kai said pointing over at Y/N. “I’m walking her to her next class since I know them and they have my mom next period and they weren’t given an orientation.”

The class’ eyes shifted to Y/N. Key handed Kai back the hall pass  “Alright. What about you Ravi?” Ravi held up his bathroom pass without saying anything. “Taemin?”

“Uhhh… I missed you?” Taemin said shrugging.

Key lightly smacked Taemin and Ravi on the head but didn’t send them back. Taemin’s eyes shifted to where Y/N was sitting but got distracted by something else.

“Hui!” Taemin said running over to the table “You didn’t tell me you had mom for a teacher!”

“Hui,” said Jungkook “Are you like, adopted?”

“What?” Hui said tilting his head to the side, confusion clear on his face.

“Well, you’re Chinese aren’t you? And Taemin’s Korean.” Dino said gesturing at the two cousins.

“What does that have to do with anything?” Taemin asked crossing his arms looking just as confused.

“If you’re related to Taemin, why are you Chinese?” Hansol asked.

“Oh my god Vernon, you just can’t ask people why they’re Chinese.” Seungkwan said turning to Hansol, Y/N guessing his nickname was Vernon.

“Ey, Y/N!” Kai called and motioned for them to come over.

“Uh, bye guys.” They said to the table before grabbing them bag and walking over.

Hui and Taemin exchanged a few words before Kai called him over too. Key pulled out a stack of passes and a marker and wrote out three passes, one for Y/N, Ravi and Taemin.

“What’s this for?” Taemin asked taking it.

“For when you get caught. I don’t want to deal with you getting a detention on the first day. It makes us look bad when you three get in trouble you know!”

The three laughed and waved bye. “Bye Aunty Key~! Come on Y/N.” Ravi  said grabbing Y/N’s wrist. The four left the room and entered the hall.

“Come on, Mom’s room is upstairs.”