#she's just like me if my main character syndrome was indulged and if I was ANNOYING and self-obsessed

[daisywords]

started rereading a book that I had mixed feelings about but have also thought about a lot since (and I do like to revisit works that had a particular resonance with me to try and figure out what that captivating something was) and anyway I did read this book the first time when I was probably too young for it (I think my mom was reading it for a book club and I saw it on her nightstand and read the blurb and she told me I probably should wait until I was older to read it) and I remember that sneaking into her room to read it in little snatches. Sitting on the floor of her bathroom in secret with that book. But ANYWAY what I'm trying to say is I remembered being vaguely annoyed with the narrator and I was wondering if that would still be the case reading it as an adult. And the answer is yes. I am finding her insufferable, in fact.

[malzykins]

GIVES US THE VOID HAND FREAKS LORE!!! (You dont have to if you dont want to)

OH BOY. well with a nice little request like that how can i say no 😇 

HUGE preface that this is very AU-heavy because. like I got no beef with the actual canon but I just want to play around with my favourite characters like little dollies if that is okay. :]

To even get to the freaks though we do have to start at the beginning of this for it all to make even a lick of sense and to me anyway it feels like a lot.. warning not one centimeter of this is without some form of mental degradation and shameless self-indulgence (<- failing to cope with the lasting effects of cringe culture)

absolutely MASSIVE text post belo im dead serious:

Nothing much really differs from the origin of the Operator/Drifter themselves, all the Zariman shit still happens etc. Operator was kind of a bastard child (shes 12 most of them are, but i digress LOL), very much the kinda person to stick their nose in everyone’s business and try to “fix” all their problems if she thought something could be gained from it (sound familiar?), be it a compensation from the people themselves or from her seniors getting basically surface-level information about it all and being like aww what a good kid!! and gassing her up with all this praise. Most other kids definitely knew what she was doing, or at least didnt like her or the vibe she put off, but it didnt really stop her cause that’s not whose opinion she necessarily cared about the most.

When the Zariman incident happened, her ENTIRE support group became her enemy and she was left with nothing. She got her just desserts alright and it broke her, like really broke her, like watching a spoiled brat finally get what’s coming to em and she genuinely did like a total heel-turn in terms of personality temperament etc. She became a lottt more prone to acting childish and favoured emotional outbursts over rational thinking, since she didnt have her people that she looked up to anymore, she didnt have her Glue so to speak. She went from main character syndrome to acting how a 12 year old would probably realistically act in a fr life-or-death scenario overnight

Being a child in a traumatizing situation she latched onto really anything she could get. any distraction. desperately wanting something or someone to trust. so when that damnable doppelganger shows its face, behaving exactly how she used to behave towards other kids (not that she had the self-awareness to deduce that at the time), she instantly ate from the hand that feeds. And there was that :)

Nothing strays from canon between this point and the First Dream. Shes still very much a petulant crybaby and kind of sucks at being a Tenno but thats neither here nor there,, in the Dream, though, is when things start to REALLY deviate.

During the years of war and strife and child-soldier-ism with everyone else, she had a lot of time to think. Shes well aware that all this void power shit wasnt possible before their time on the Zariman, and as far as she was aware she was pretty certain that didnt change the moment they boarded. Over time she fights the memory suppression of her traumas to dig up answers and narrows it right down to that moment she shook hands with herself, something clearly odd and nonsensical, now viewing it with a bit more clarity of mind and basically coming to the epiphany of Oh You Motherfucker. theres no way it was not you. theres no way ALL OF THIS (the existence of the tenno and by extension their eventual drafting into the war, and all of the bullshit that follows that) was not because of you. And when they get told that theyre all going to be put into a cryosleep, because theyre more trouble than theyre worth, really, to just to give everyone around them more peace of mind well. shes quite upset about it. She and other kids definitely try to fight their way out of it (they dont make it far) and rest assured theres no shortness of bawling and sobbing, but deep in there there is anger. She starts to get real pissed off about this whole ordeal and honestly just fucking everything that has lead to it, that piece of her old self that had the capacity for rage and ambition bubbling through the surface.

When she was placed into the First Dream, that quickly manifested well outside of her control. She herself was entirely lacking in conscience, but that essence of herself that existed just beyond her own grasp, that metaphorical spirit that whatever youd want to call it, began to fester in some crevice deep in the Void, not having truly left the place after the events of the Zariman unfolded. It festered and festered and grew until every horrible negative emotion that she Could Not experience in her current state snapped free and went on a violent witch hunt for exactly who the hell made her this way and WHEN she found It, that manifestation didnt relent in the slightest as it quite literally beat the absolute ever-loving dogshit out of the Indifference and (taking some of the various Murmur codex entries very literally) lashed its very flesh apart like a goddamn. kindergarten art project.

Once all of her anger was spent and she realized that didnt actually fix any of her problems, and the bastard was busy reeling for a while because, what in the fuck was all that about, she was left just a lonely, sad empty husk. And because of the Void’s receptivity with negative emotion, it did something with that, taking those lacerated fragments and turning them into something greater, turning them into companions to fill that lonely gap, into the Murmur. they are very No Thoughts creatures and dont understand what existence really is, and like most freshly borned creatures they imprint on the first thing they see (the Indifference) though they know at least the smell of who ultimately made them and are constantly chasing that trail to find the source (hence their appearance in reality in the albrecht labs because we dont really Know in canon what theyre looking for in there exactly (afaik) so I’m justttt rewriting that. for me 😇)

Once they inevitably have their cool reunion or whatever (which takes place a lot sooner than the normal story progression, I just am not sure on where to put a pin) Operator latches onto them just as much as they latch onto her, their Maker, and she ends up neglecting a lot of her responsibilities to just run and play with the little freaks all day ^-^ which really pisses off the Drifter. and makes HER take up the Operator’s mantle, a good chunk of the normal questline being done by her instead.

NOW. for what you ACTUALLY asked for. Im so sorry 😭

THESE three bastards: Prodah, Nahkip, Vedah, in that order. In this little AU thing, Murmur fragments have this little bit of individuality to them in the form of those lighter blue stripes or “veins”, which are more like indentations in their skin that faintly glow with their Void energy. The more a fragment has or the more unique they are, the more respected the individual is in a sort of innate social hierarchy system. If a fragment is born with no veins whatsoever, if they are unmarred and “perfect” so to speak, they are essentially bullied and outcasted to some unloved corner of the Great Indifference to wallow alone, and for a faction all about unity and working together that isnt very nice. :)

Vedah and Nahkip are the two I probably have the least juice for. Not that I dont like them (far from it) I just have yet to reeeeally get to them ;; I at LEAST have personalities and such down

Vedah is like a curious naive little dog. It’s very erratic and jumpy and is more often a follower than a leader. It loves games but gets bored easily, and loves trying to make friends. It definitely makes the most racket out of the three, big chatterbox this one (I love the sounds the fragments make... they are such screechy little creatures it's soooo cute)

Nahkip is probably the most “normal” out of them. It doesn’t vocalize often and carries itself in a bit of a high regard (not necessarily in a conceited way, moreso it is aware that it is of a somewhat higher caliber than most and incidentally behaves as such). It’ll politely listen to others and offer input when it’s spoken to, but once all is said and done, it returns to pretending you don’t exist, going about its own business.

Prodah, the last fellow, is (was?) one of those unfortunate veinless souls. It often found itself a victim of many fights, and it quickly learned that trying to defend itself only made matters substantially worse. In one particularly nasty scenario, its ring and pinky finger were completely snapped off by an attacker and ground to dust. It tried to fight its way out of exile often, but eventually succumbed to the hand it’d been dealt, fleeing to some unaccompanied outcropping overlooking the Void.

Vedah found it, eventually, having sniffed it out and tracked it from where it hid buried in the sand for god knows. Prodah of course, very angry and scared and traumatized all at once, didnt take too kindly to the ordeal, but Vedah’s “people skills” and a rare instance of patience helped bring the guy just enough out of its shell to at least stop regressing into fight-or-flight everytime it (Vedah) moved :] Still VERY skittery and non-trusting. just a bit more… tolerable.

Vedah and Nahkip are friends. or. at least Vedah sees it that way. Nahkip tolerates it but could really give or take. Vedah always wants to show around its new friends to its current friends, and Prodah is not an exception even if it really should be (hence the naivety; you can’t “look guys it’s cool dont be mean okay :D” your way out of everything girl)

LUCKILY Nahkip seems to not gaf. At least not in a bad way. No it actually definitely gaf because it’s been ages since it’s last seen a veinless fragment still kicking around (esp since there is essentially no reproduction of these creatures, whatever exists is all that will ever be (unless MITW feels like getting flayed again. for some reason) so once you’re killed or whatever it’s gg) and is very surprised that one is still alive, figured over time it should have just gone feral and torn itself apart from insanity or decomposed on its own, but it didn’t. and Nahkip is a bit of a studious fellow. so it is very interested in this creature.

There isn’t too much coherent lore after this.. lots of bits and bobs and meat and potatoes but not the most fleshed-out explanation for it all? At some point the three become close enough with one another (maybe more spiritually than anything, cause it likely isn’t so apparent from an outside perspective) that they form a Severed Warden like some sort of Digimon evolution or whatever 😇 There is some large gap of time where the Operator does not see them, the entire Prodah arc happening under her nose so when she next greets them they are together as the Warden and shes so proud of em ;; she doesnt really understand how it happened/works but she knows Vedah and Nahkip are in there and they do their best to introduce Prodah to her. After some coaxing it uncurls itself to meet her and she's absolutely appalled to see a friend in such a sorry state (being a Warden didn’t heal old scars), and figured that wasn’t any way for someone to live. so she removes her gloves and gently holds its hand in her own Void-corrupted ones (that I’m sure most Operators have anyway; shes extremely self-conscious about people seeing them but the Murmur are similar to her, in a way, so with them she relents) to offer that connection and comfort with it. In the same motion, some transfer of power takes place and after a brief moment, Prodah finds itself whole again with two new fingers to replace its lost ones, brimming with the light of Void energy. IN TURN, though, not such is without consequence, the Operator now missing those exact same digits that Prodah initially lacked. She quite literally gave it her own (which is why its lighter-colored fingers in the image do not have the standard issue Murmur claws. also this throws the Indifference for a loop because ??? bastard child I gave you that for YOU. not for you to just give handouts to thralls 😐). This is a complete heel turn for Prodah because while it was initially a perfect, veinless creature and demonized to all hell and back.. to receive marks from the Maker itself??? WILDLY different story. Okay we respect you now. like a lot. like A LOT a lot.

I absolutely had plans to include The Fragmented One in my little repertoire of creatures as well :3c For this I’m going to pull directly from my brief lore document instead of just reiterating what is perfectly fine to copy-paste instead, if no one minds:

“To make an example for the Operator, the Drifter assists Loid in secret in purging the Laboratories of Murmur presence, but ends up slaying the Warden of Vedah, Nahkip, and Prodah in the process. The Operator’s heartrending grief at their passing draws uneasiness from the Indifference itself, and her dormant, volatile energy involuntarily wrenches forth their fragments from the afterlife, as if they had never perished at all (this is unknown to her; her döppelganger is the one to impart this information, yet not knowledge of their whereabouts). She dedicates restless hours to searching for them, neglecting her own health, too nerve-wracked to properly eat or sleep. It is after a week’s passing that the Operator discovers an odd formation within The Great Indifference and, upon touching its surface, the structure breathes in new life, lost fragments rising from beneath the sand to create the One. Upon spotting Vedah, Nahkip, and Prodah atop the bow of the amalgamation, she becomes overjoyed at their revivification, triggering a transference of power between them; the Operator’s Void energy unknowingly begins to bleed over into the One, a deadly power donation creating an impossibly cataclysmic entity with capabilities yet to be measured. In anointment, the Operator honorably dubs the creature Fronrein—’tandem roar’—and it is forever at her beck and call.”

this Fragmented One is no stronger than the one you face normally. I just wanted to squeeze in something for my lore that could possibly explain why that fucker is SO god damn brutal in Steel Path.

Lastly (thank Christ right), something I haven’t yet fully fleshed out is that I want to pull the consciousness of the main fragments into the Operator’s warframes. Likely happened at some point during Fronrein’s birth. it’d be neat for these friends to exist in two places at once :) seems totally feasible to me given how freaky the Void gets. Vedah inhabits her Wisp, Nahkip her Protea, and Prodah her Harrow. None of this is planned, it just sort of Happens. the fourth arm of the One also gets dragged into this (dont have much for it. similar mannerisms to Nahkip I know at least), being placed into the Drifter’s Chroma, and she is NOT happy about it. very peeved actually. She hates these fucking things and to now have them basically be sentient frames walking and (telepathically) talking around the ship MUST be some sort of cruel divine punishment. She mellows out though, after some grueling amount of time, becoming a bit more platonic with her Chroma after slowly letting her own defenses down and just bonding and talking with the guy (now that these Murmurs can actually do that), but still is a bit standoffish with the Operator’s frames.

Operator thinks it’s cool as all hell. She’s brainstorming what all frames she could possibly get next and then try to shove Murmurs into those ones too. MUCH to the Drifter’s chagrin. god help them.

ANYWAY. I dont want to beta read this again I just hope it makes sense. Above all I hope it satisfies your ask ;; this is nearing 3,000 on the word count and actually took multiple days to write LOL /// thank you for giving me the opportunity to spill about these guys :’]

[thenightlymirror]

I think my romantic yearnings are so divided and confused that they have finally become subtle and mostly forgettable. I still have unyoked abstract yearnings, but they come out in blurts, like “Do you love me?” Who loves you? Who do you want to love you?

I have no idea. I like to go down the list. No, no, absolutely not. No, not really. Do I want for nothing? Have I been extinguished? Also no.

For a moment yesterday, it occurred to me that this instinct to balance my thoughts and moods by ceaseless negation, imagining the opposite, imagining retraction, loosening, the absence of attachment and indulgence, it creates its own wriggling anxiety. It’s endless. Who would I be without it? I imagine Sean the groundsman. Or myself eight years old listening to the country music station at night. Would I be pure idiot emotions (sorry Sean)? Would I be sensitive? Open.

I thought you deserved a rumination since I’ve been working constantly.

On the last day my trainer worked, she asked me how I was going to spend my weekend. Are you going to ruminate on your loveless loveseat? Haha you know I am. It’s been two weeks and no new markers have been installed. Yesterday, there was a manager’s meeting. My boss gave a talk on office competitions for most Google reviews. Then she had an allergic reaction to gluten which gave her sores inside her mouth and made it difficult to breathe. Carlene sped her to the ER, and then she had to be driven by ambulance somewhere else. Then my boss’s gf said something rude to Carlene with no gratitude at all, something about Main Character Syndrome or whatever girls fight about these days. My trainer gave a talk on the Memorialist program which made the regional manager do a triple take. One really good graph. It’s a shame graphs can’t scalp a man.

Today, the boss stayed home. Carlene and Sandra drove all the way to my cemetery to deliver me a granite tombstone with my name on it from my old trainer while I gave the call-to-the-board. Then a vault busted during a service hahaha, during the chaos it was also discovered that the urn for the next service was too big, and then the lawnmowers crushed a monument. Right in half.

Everybody loves me at my new office. They all seem like they wish I was the boss. I just wish I had some friends I lived with. Someone I loved. Or, that I could be my old pain in the ass completely uncensored self and still pay the rent. Do I even censor myself? I think mostly I just feel like when I say anything I care about, it’s not even comprehensible. I don’t want to be a boss. I only want to share my feelings with people who despise bosses. On principle. Not even instinctually. I’m sick of instinctually. On principle. Have some sense.

[izartn]

Now that I made my read and my first post on CFC I want you all to have my review at NovelUpdates, from 2020, of when I finished The Legendary Master's Wife.

Not reccedt, this is a truly trash fire of a novel that: dragged in parts, treated it's women terribly while presenting the shou as practically a woman himself, there was much lack of consent and even care, the secondaries where caricatures, there's was a pokemon adjacent plot, where by the end I still wasn't sure if the two mains loved each other. They sure loved their position as the most powerful of their world though!

By the extras you also get the true gem of You Xiaomo meeting again his birth family in his world and you, the reader, discover his older brother was a brocon and also they did modern world low cultivation. The stuff of legends.

My English is a bit worse here bc it was 3 years ago, but perfectly understandable.

It was boring at parts and really interesting at others; I didn't really care all that much about the characters though because well... they are plane. However, what made me stick with the novel was precisely the MC and his ML. I'll explain: the MC starts pretty soft. He is a noob from our world, coddled but also without a warm family or friends. He wants to learn and is very diligent studying alchemy-soul cultivation but he doesn't have the minor idea of how this world works. Enter ML who has a very good idea of the immense potential of MC and has decided to make him his, to help with his secret plans. He of course exposes MC to all the ugly faces of the world, for much that MC doesn't want to. MC is also cunning and decides to follow powerful ML if nothing else can be done. Then the story truly starts. And what I found fascinating was how these two changed bit by bit through exposure to each other. Like MC is pretty damn helpless at the start, and throughout the story, he starts mimicking ML and adapting to everything that keeps happening to the point that he is like that violent converse who is more militant than the one born in his religion. It was astounding, what fear makes one do. ML of course, encourages this and is pretty happy of letting MC do his thing; they are soul-bonded and so is impossible to escape one another, even in death- one dies and the other will follow. That MC has decided bit by bit be more ruthless and powerful only benefits ML who after everything starts truly caring about the other. But really, is like mutual Stockholm Syndrome xD This and the fact that everybody powerful in the world of this novel is.. well, dark gray in morality scale at best made me see this novel as the descent of the MC. He becomes like the very person he was repelled by in the first arc, without caring very much for it, absorbing the values and the pride of his new world. Basically, if you see the novel through my lenses, MC and ML become the great overlords (this is true anyways) and ultimate Villains of their world. This is what made love the ending although it was pretty lackluster. I doubt the author intended my take on the novel, but is one that formed organically as I persisted reading through the hundreds of chapters. The fact that the characters themselves aren't very developed even helps this view; we are seeing people devoid of morals, of essence. They just have power.

Anyways. I look at this and about how very much this was not the take the author wanted me to have and I laugh. That's one of the enxt danmei they're publishing in English btw.

All those people being like, CFC is too much... CFC does what it does on purpose, and the development of HeXie was done carefully for Meatbun. You can hate it and disagree and stop reading, your prerogative, bc your taste is your taste and your squicks or more serious triggers yours, but it's on purpose by a writer that knows what she's doing even if shes very self-indulgent and misses the mark bc of it. I had a good time reading anyways.

Then there's books or danmei like TLMW.

(I was left with the urge of seeing blackened Xiaomo have Ling Xiao and the rest of the world at his mercy somehow. Revenge!!!!!)

[newjenns]

You were talking about baby name tiktok earlier, what is it like? I'm on baby name reddit, and on naming sites often (both because writer, and because I can't think of girl names to save my life, I could name 20 sons, but like 2 daughters at most) and I have no idea what baby name tiktok looks like, also what names do you like? I got a bit curious because I like baby name talk (probably because I'm constantly hit with baby fever)

i also spend a bit of time browsing baby name websites and occasionally name reddit but not the reddit as much bc they’re so much less indulgent like sorry sometimes i like a little stranger names MY BADDDD there’s like three main tiktokers who come up on my fyp their @s are

hellomorgantimm namingbebe and dreambabynames

they have tonsss of videos and they talk about both old sounding and trendy names i think one of them even has a series where she goes through old yearbooks and talks about the names of the students ugh it’s so fun also i’m the complete opposite i could name 20 girls but maybe 2 boys. on a good day.

i tend to gravitate towards names with stories and meaning behind them as well as names that are 3 or more syllables with short nicknames like right now my favorite girls name is evangeline bc it’s long and feminine with nickname potential like evie/eva/eve and i LOVE the name eve bc of the biblical story association also i first heard the name in a book series i read when i was younger so it has a little bit of nostalgia as well without being super on the nose about being a reference like i’m not naming my kid sasuke

another favorite girls name for me is pandora but i don’t think i would ever use it bc it just bc it has too many pop culture associations (the radio app, the jewelry brand, the planet from avatar aka the biggest movie in the world) like if it was just the greek myth i would be happy but it’s not so Frowns.

as for boys names it’s less that i have favorites and more like a roster of names that i don’t think are Ugly sounding without being too popular (bc i have chronic not like other girls syndrome) recently i’ve been favoring rowan (another book character but i can never remember from where), salem (as in the witch trials), and caspian (i don’t think this is as viable due to its narnia associations and a remake on the horizon but Who Knows), and most recently alistair ?? idky maybe bc that’s the name of a book i’ve been reading lately but it sounds a little too vintage for me as of now maybe idk, i also like those names that end in ander like alexander xander evander but i think they’re too popular for my tastes

love love love baby naming / character naming discussions 🫶

[e-m-p-error]

🎧🎧🎧 for Val!

Peek into my muse's playlist!

I feel the need to preface this by saying that Val's playlist is one of my longest not-ship related ones, with 282 songs on it. Moth Man Has Main Character Syndrome.

[ Valentino ]

Mindless Self Indulgence - Issues

Oohh, 'd rather fuck ya than kiss ya (kiss ya) But I won't press the issue You know what I need is (I need, I need) And ya never gonna be it (be it) I shoulda hesitated When we was inebriated So unsophisticated (-cated) Too late to be debated

It's 3 a.m. - she won't put out Lets go make out with her friends Make out with her friends' friends It's 3 a.m. - she won't put out Lets go make out with her friends MAKE-OUT-WITH-HER-FRIENDS

(this part isn't super necessary but it's in the lyrics and so I wanted it lol)

*Ding*ding* *Smooch* *Champagne pop and bubbles*

BONNIE X CLYDE - Dirty Thoughts

Follow me to the middle of a crowd Put your hands on my chest feel my heartbeat (beat, beat, beat, beat) We can dance like no one is around

Feel the beat under me pull me dirty (Pull me dirty) Roses are red, violets are blue all my dirty thoughts lead me to you You're in my head just us two Roses are red, violets are blue all my dirty thoughts lead me to you You're in my head just us two

Say Anything - I Got Your Money

You give me your number, I call you up You act like your pussy don't interrupt I don't have no problem with you fucking me But I have a little problem with you not fucking me Baby you know I'll take care of you Cause you say you got my baby, and I know it ain't true Is it a good thing? No its bad bitch For good or worse, makes you switch So I walk on over with my Cristal Bitches, n-word put away your pistols Bemis won't be having it in this house Cause bitch I'll cripple your style Now that you heard my calm voice You couldn't get another n-word, hoochie won't get moist If you wanna look good and not be bummy, girl you better give me that money

Hollywood Undead - Salvation

(I can't seem to forget) the halo that I used to see (Hanging overhead) of people dying in their dreams (Reliving a regret) the angel that I'll never be (The vow you never kept)

Are you looking to sell your salvation? Only offering lies for the day that you die Do they know when you smile that you're faking? When they look in your eyes, do they see your disguise?

The Birthday Massacre - Two Hearts

Replacing every part of me It's in between the lines The promise is just a shade of gray Between the darkness and the light

Two hearts beating One beats the other While the other just looks away Two hearts dreaming nightmare together Leaving nothing more, nothing left to say

Avril Lavigne - I Don't Have To Try

Hey, you, follow me or take the lead Can't you see? Don't you question me You just do what I say

I don't care what you're sayin' I don't care what you're thinkin' I don't care about anything Get ready, motherfucker, 'cause I'm happening I don't care what you're sayin' I don't care what you're thinkin' I don't care about anything Get ready, motherfucker, 'cause I'm on the scene

I don't have to try To make you realize Anything I wanna do, anything I'm gonna do Anything I wanna do I do And I don't have to try

[amtrak12]

Ooph, calling my current fic struggles “middle book syndrome” is just... Too Accurate. I don’t like it. I don’t want it to feel like a middle book! I want it to be a good story!

Though, I do understand that the true purpose of Books 2 and 3 are to entertain the readers who aren’t ready to leave my world behind. Because Book 1 honestly can stand entirely on its own! I don’t need sequels! I designed it that way on purpose because I have the epilogue of toddler Rory returning home to a changed timeline so the reader knows the happy ending. What they don’t know is how we got there. They don’t need to know that. It really doesn’t matter. But I thought it would be fun to explore Lucifer and Chloe taking the long way to meet back up with their daughter, because the last we see of S3 Lucifer and Chloe is them grief-stricken over saying goodbye to their daughter.

And by god I want to explore that grief. This isn’t like canon where Chloe is already pregnant with Rory when they say goodbye to their adult daughter. This is S3. It’s going to be years before they see her again. YEARS. They had their toddler daughter for two months! They were fully adjusted to being coparents and now their daughter is just -- gone. I want to eat that angst with a spoon like it’s ice cream with chocolate syrup and rainbow sprinkles. It’s fucking delicious!

There’s also the fun awkwardness of them still not being a romantic couple but they know they’re going to have a daughter in the future. That’s not going to put any weird pressure on them that will mess with their heads! :P And I want to explore that too, so that’s the other purpose of the sequels. Just allowing me to continue playing in this universe. It is purely self-indulgent for both me and the readers.

Doesn’t mean I want it to suffer middle book syndrome, though. I do think the grief exploration will make it compelling enough to not feel like a middle book. The real problem comes from incorporating the S4 plot into this. Sure I could ignore it, obviously. But I’ve decided I do want Lucifer to have to go back to Hell for a bit, because I absolutely adore the idea of Book 3 opening with it being a year exactly before Rory is meant to be born, and Lucifer’s not on Earth. That sounds delicious and is perfect given that the final scene of the series will be Chloe learning she’s pregnant. Now the main plot of Book 3 is them trying to confirm the timeline has been changed because they both want to ensure Lucifer will be there to raise Rory. They have no idea the timeline has already changed. All they know is the few things Rory mentioned have all happened. So they focus on stopping the one thing that hasn’t happened yet: Dan’s death. (Hence the title: Save the Douche, Save the World.) (The readers will already know Dan lives thanks to Book 1′s epilogue but that’s not the point. The point is the characters don’t know that.)

So, yeah I need the demon invasion still and I’m actually good with keeping the rabid priest and his prophecy because I’m moving up Chloe learning she’s a gift from God to the S4 era in this series, and prophecies mesh well with free will struggles from a thematic standpoint. Eve comes back to Earth for this too. Her storyline will obviously go differently from canon but I’m not sure exactly what journey it takes yet. So that’s some of the cloudiness I’m dealing with. I also want to foreshadow Michael’s push to become God, but it is going to stay at foreshadowing. I thought about pulling him into a more active role early, but I’ve ruled that out now.

... Though if I’m having Abel be the first soul to make it from Hell to Heaven... and that’s happening in Book 1.... Maybe I don’t need a demon invasion to pull Lucifer back to Hell....

Okay thank you everyone for letting me talk to thin air! I now have something productive to think about! :D

[shujishakes]

🖤Rules and BYF🖤

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Dividers by @/cafekitsune

[theirbbygirl]

Second Lead Syndrome

Word Count: ~8.7k words

liked this? there’s more on my masterlist!

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Comedy, Female reader insert

Description: Y/n and Minho have been friends for more than 2 years now, but suddenly she begins to see herself as the mere second lead in Minho’s story. Will she be the rare second lead who gets her own happy ending?

Warnings: some crying, themes of unrequited love (if there’s anything that I missed don’t hesitated to let me know!) 

I’d only ever encountered Second Lead Syndrome in the dramas I’d watched. Wanting the girl to end up with the second lead who was so obviously the better and healthier choice, but like every avid watcher of kdramas, it's more than likely for the main leads to end up with each other, that was just how it worked. What I never thought I’d encounter was seeing it happen before my own eyes and experience it firsthand.

Life was never supposed to be a kdrama. Life was supposed to be simple, a straight line, going from point A to B with no complications. But life never really went my way did it? It just had to throw in one variable, one man that had too much influence on my life. 

I couldn’t remember the first time I met Minho. It was probably sometime in the first grade when his family first moved in next to mine. But alas, we were both too young to remember exactly what sparked our friendship. One day we were strangers and the next we had given our parents a near heart attack when we both went after a stray cat on the way back home (my mom’s words, not ours).  From then my memories were filled with him, just us besties hanging out like anyone would with their best friend. First party, first mental breakdown, first drink, all with him. Soon enough we were in our final year of University, and ultimately, adults. 

The Minho I knew was laid back, not too extroverted but not too introverted either. While I completely contrasted him, always anxious about something, wanting perfection to the T, and completely and utterly introverted.  Our friendship, moving into University, sparked a lot of questions. You wouldn’t typically find the introverted straight-A student with the borderline badboy tsundere walking and laughing in the halls together, spending practically every waking moment together. But Minho didn’t care, and neither did I, so we moved through life pretty easily. 

One of the few things we had in common was our love for cats, and when we both foudn out there was a cat cafe just a few minutes walk from our campus, you best bet we spent too much of our time and money there. Studying, hanging out, anything you could imagine. If we weren’t in one of our dorms, we were more than likely to be in the cat cafe. 

Every day after class we’d go there and we’d complain about our least favorite professors and how lectures would seemingly last for longer than they should. Additionally, Minho had almost become akin to my own dormmate with how much time he spent in my dorm. He’d come in whenever he wished, stealing my frozen pizzas and sodas, using my Netflix account on my TV to watch weird National Geographic shows and make random comments like “that snake looks just like Kim Seungmin,” or “look its Hannie” whenever a squirrel came on screen. Minho was always there when I needed a drinking partner after bombing a test or assignment, pouring me shots of soju until I passed out and bringing me to my bed and tucking me in whiel he would sleep on the couch to make sure I wouldn’t do anything stupid in the middle of the night. 

Although, more people knew Minho’s name than mine, but that didn’t bother any of us. We continued on being friends as usual, and it felt like nothing would change that. Life was moving in a straight line like it should’ve always been.

At least, that’s what it felt like until February, just a few months before we graduated. 

I make my way to our usual spot in the courtyard after buying an iced coffee and a snickers bar from the vending machine next to my classroom, I walk up behind Minho sitting on a bench when I find him staring out in front of him instead of looking at cat videos on his phone like he usually does. Slowing my walk, I trail my eyes to the vague direction he’s facing and see that he’s looking at Kim Seungmin and a girl chatting outside the classroom. I ignore the thought, opting to think that Minho must’ve spaced out thinking about how he would irritate Seungmin next class. I plop down next to him when he still doesn’t take note of my arrival, so I get right next to his ear and blow cold air into it, snickering when he jolts in surprise. 

“What was that for?” He whines, fake annoyed.

“You got lost up in your thoughts for a certain Kim Seungmin there.” I snicker some more, opening my snickers (hehe) bar.

Just as I’m about to take the first bite of the sugary goodness, the chocolate bar gets snatched out of my hands and a certain Lee Minho takes an obnoxious bite out of it, not even giving it back but eating it like it was his. I pout, watching him devour my snack, knowing that I couldn’t do anything to get it back. 

“For your information, I was not thinking about Kim Seungmin.” He says pointedly, slightly muffled by the chocolate in his mouth.

I sigh, knowing I wasn’t going to get that chocolate bar back any time soon, and open my iced coffee. “So what were you thinking about then?” I ask before taking a sip.

“Don’t know, spaced out.” Is all the answer I get and I highly doubt him, but I brush it off anyways and don’t pry. 

Minho and I slide into our usual conversation about assignments, plans for the week, and everything under the sun. We talk about how he’s planning to visit home the next day and stay for a weekend and how excited he is to see his cats after a long time, I unknowingly smile at his ramble about how talkative Dori is, and just sit back and listen. I never took into account how healing it was to just watch and listen to him talk, the sultry of his voice and his little exclamations of frustration or excitement that came once in a while. I had to catch myself from staring when he turned to look at me, having asked me a question I didn’t catch.

“Sorry what was that?” I ask.

“Am I that beautiful for you to have lost your hearing to my handsome face?” I couldn’t just tell him that that was basically what had happened, it would inflate his ego by too much and reveal everything I’d hidden thus far.

“The heck? No, I was thinking about how great it would be to get some peace and quiet while you’re not around this weekend.” I lie, having Minho around is the only thing that brings me entertainment that isn’t endless sappy kdramas on my laptop, but he can never know that. 

Minho scoffs, says something under his breath that I don’t quite catch, then turns back to me. “You love me.” He says with a pout.

“Unfortunately I do.” 

That was the first of many inconspicuous confessions. 

It was nearing 3 or 4 am and I was about halfway done with another kdrama when several knocks resound through the small living space. Knowing exactly who it is, I only shout back “you know the code!” and moments later the door opens. 

I don’t bother to get up and greet Minho, this exact scene has happened too many times for either of us to care at this point, and it doesn’t surprise me that the moment he enters he shouts, “Honey I’m home!” like we’re in some cheesy romcom. 

“Mhmm, welcome home, leech.” I enunciate the last word purposely, but I know he won’t bat an eye at the term. I continue to chew my popcorn while he wanders through my cabinets, looking for snacks. “There’s chips in the cabinet next to the fridge and sprite in there too. If you want more food order Chinese takeout.” 

“I don’t have my wallet.” I can practically hear his pout from where I sat, eyes unmoving from the TV screen. 

“You know where mine is, but you have to pay me back.” A few seconds pass with no response until suddenly he’s next to me and kissing my cheek.

“I loveeee you!” He says too sweetly, retreating back to the mini-kitchen to order takeout.

“Mhmm, I love you too.” I say, not loud enough for him to hear the confidence missing from my tone. 

Continuing to watch the episode of in front of me, I remain in my comfortable position, only moving to lift my legs when Minho comes back to sit on the couch under my legs and the blanket. 

“Oh you’re watching this one?” He asks, reaching into the bowl of popcorn I offer him.

“Yeah, didn’t have anything else to watch so I put it on since everyone seems to like it so much.” 

“Mm,” he hums while also indulging himself into the scenes playing in front of him. “You’re probably team potato guy, right?” 

“What kind of question is that? Of course I am!” I scoff.

“I don’t know, I still think she should end up with Jae-eon.”

“Are you crazy? He literally leads her on like every playboy and is ruining her mentality by not defining their relationship.” 

“Yeah, but they’re so cute together, and you can totally tell he feels something for her.” He argues.

“Just cause they’re cute together doesn’t mean they’re good for each other, the entire guy is a walking red flag, I don’t understand why she doesn’t just walk away when she’s had experience with a shit boyfriend.” I sigh.

“You, have major second lead syndrome.” He points an accusing finger at me.

“So what? It’s for good reason, the main lead is toxic as fuck and you can’t change my mind.” I upturn my nose, turning back to the TV and continuing to watch the episode. 

The mentioning of the second lead sends a flurry of thoughts into my brain for a reason I can’t comprehend. Sometimes the main leads aren’t that bad but still we want the main character to end up with the second lead, maybe out of our own natural selfishness because we prefer the second lead more. I shake the thoughts away, trying to convince myself that kdramas were only works of fiction and too cheesy to be real, yet for whatever reason I always felt a connection with the second leads, like our emotions directed to our crushes were the same, because I knew that I would always be the second lead in Minho’s story. 

Minho’s name was always called out more times than mine was growing up, which I didn’t really mind until our hangout time would be seriously cut down because he had to hang out with other friends. Don’t get me wrong, I loved that he had friends, but there was a little bit of selfishness in me that wanted him to myself.

A new drama and a few episodes later, plus Chinese takeout, lead to our eventual demise. We both fall asleep on the couch in less than comfortable positions and wake up with stiff-neck, us groaning at the pain. 

We continue on with our usual morning routines, taking turns freshening up in the bathroom before heading out for breakfast at Paws and Pastries since we were both too lazy to make food ourselves. Besides, hot coffee in the morning plus good sandwiches AND cats? What more could you ask for?

When we enter the cat cafe I notice a familiar face behind the cashier, it was the same girl Seungmin was talking to on Friday, and the same girl I caught Minho staring at. We walk up to the cashier, I order my food first, a simple breakfast sandwich with a coffee to go with it and wait next to Minho to finish ordering. 

I made the mistake up glancing up at his face as he was telling his order to her, Ahra, her name tag read. There was something in his eyes that glinted that I had never seen before, not when he talked to Han and not when he talked to me. I couldn’t help but feel a pang of emotion in the middle of my chest before forcing myself to look back down, inserting my card and paying for everything. I sent the girl a thank you and a kind smile after she told us our food would be right over, and both me and Minho went over to our usual table in the back corner next to the cat’s jungle gym and right up next to the window. I get lost in my thoughts while we begin playing with the cats we were so accustomed to. 

Like most second leads, I knew exactly what my feelings were. I was practically an adult, how could I miss the fast beating of my heart or my clammy hands whenever I was around him? But again, like most second leads, I knew I’d never get a chance with him, not when everything we did together was purely platonic. It was painfully obvious that I’d be stuck with an unrequited love for who knows how long, and I couldn’t just detach myself from him all of a sudden to get over my feelings because a) he’d notice and force me to tell him what was wrong, ultimately leading me to tell him that I had feelings for him, and b) the moment I would come back or see him for even just a second I know I would develop those feelings all over again. Neither of which were choices I was willing to take so I suck it up and see him every day, ignoring everything my heart was telling me. 

I look up from the cat that I’m petting in my lap and look at Minho again, only to find him staring at Ahra who was taking people’s orders with a perfect pearly smile. It was in that moment that I knew, I had just found the female lead of Minho’s story.

3 weeks go by in a similar manner. Minho and I see Ahra around campus a few times and with some twisted fate, she’s on the clock every time we go to Paws and Pastries. Minho, being his smooth self, easily gets himself acquainted with her. They laugh and giggle so naturally and can slip into conversation so easily I’m almost envious of Minho and his non-introverted self. 

Not being one to try and stop fate, I watch it all happen. Telling Minho to ask her out already and teasing him about how lovesick he gets when he sees her nearby or at the cafe. I know Minho likes her when he blushes or gets defensive whenever I mention her in our conversations even though he’s never explicitly told me himself. I put on a face in front of him whenever these conversations come up, not wanting to get in the way of his happiness. 

One day some of our friends want to meet up outside of campus, we make plans to meet up at a bowling alley, ready to have fun until the late evening hours. Seungmin brought Ahra along with him, asking if it was okay to invite her since they were friends. Everyone agrees and we all meet up as planned. When everyone gets there, including Seungmin and Ahra, we introduce ourselves, Minho not having to introduce himself and easily speaking with her like they always did whenever running into each other. All the the boys have raised brows and mischievous smiles as they watch the interaction between the two, but only one looks at me in concern. 

A majority of the night passes by with laughter and teasing, how Chan was terrible at bowling this night and Minho easily beating him despite never doing too well on our previous adventures to the bowling alley. I spend the night with the rest of the boys, while Minho and Ahra spend time getting to know each other even more. There’s a point in the evening where I see Minho hold out his phone to Ahra to exchange numbers, I can hear her giggle when they take a selfie together, probably for her profile picture. I have to turn my head away quickly to ignore the cracking of my own heart when Minho puts his arm on the couch behind Ahra, he does it so naturally, yet he’s never done it with me. I will my thoughts to focus on the game and not on Minho, not noticing the same pair of concerned eyes until they speak up.

“Are you alright?” Hyunjin asks. 

“Hm? Of course I am, why wouldn’t I be?” My voice cracks halfway through and I try to hide my sad eyes, even though I was fully aware that Hyunjin had probably noticed that something was up.

“‘Cause you seem pretty affected by that scene over there.” He motions to Minho and Ahra with a nod of his head. 

“It’s nothing, Hyun, just nice seeing Minho talking to more people.”

“Y/n, you know he talks to people all the time, and you’re not nearly as affected then as you are now.” 

“Hyunjin, really, it’s fine.” I try to convince him but he says something that lets me know that he knows.

“You like Minho.”

“What? No that’s absurd I-“ He looks at me pointedly, and I sigh in defeat. “Yeah, okay, you got me.”

“Why don’t you say anything? Clearly it hurts you to see him like that.” He refers to Minho getting cozy with her.

“Hyunjin, it’s clear that everything we have is platonic, he even called me his sister several times. And who am I to get in the way of him getting into a relationship? That’s not my place to say anything, especially when his last girlfriend was 2 years ago.” 

“I get that, but shouldn’t he at least deserve to know? He says that he knows everything about you, but there’s one thing that he doesn't. You know practically everything about him, isn’t it a little unfair?” 

“We have choices as to what we share with each other and what we don’t, it’s his choice to tell me what he wants to and my choice to tell him what I want to tell him. Besides, he hasn’t even told me that he has a crush on Ahra yet.” 

“So maybe he doesn’t then.” 

“Hyunjin, just look at him, he’s a puppy in love.” I glance back over to Minho and Ahra sitting parallel to us. Minho is smiling brightly, more brightly than I had seen in a while and I can’t help but let my lips upturn at the corners just slightly in another sad smile. 

Hyunjin sighs next to me, and I look back to him. “I’m sorry y/n, I really wish he would end up with you instead of her, it doesn’t seem fair to you.”

“Hey, don’t say that, Ahra seems like a nice girl, she and Minho will get along great. And nothing in life is fair Hyunjin, that’s just something you come to accept.” I say, getting up. “I’m gonna get some drinks, does anyone want anything?” I ask everyone.

“Cola!” “Me too!” “Me three!” “A lemonade please.” A few of the boys shout back.

“Anything for you guys?” I turn to Minho and Ahra. They both shake their heads. “Okay then, I’ll be back in a minute guys.” I smile at the group before going to get the drinks. 

While walking away from the group I let a teardrop fall from my eye, wiping it away just before I order.

Life’s unfair, that’s just something I have to accept. 

A week goes by and Minho’s talking about how he and Ahra message often, how he thinks they get along well and he’s gonna ask her out.

Another week goes by and they’ve gone on their first date, he takes her to the beach and they have a picnic. 

Two weeks after that they’ve gone on several dates and are officially boyfriend and girlfriend, I don’t even find out separately at this point, I find out with the rest of the group over dinner.

A few days after that Minho calls off one of our late night binge watching sessions, texting me an apology and that Ahra needs him. I tell him it’s okay and to send my regards to her. 

It’s a week and half after and Minho regularly calls off our meetups at the cafe after school or at one another’s dorms to tend to Ahra. I tell him it’s fine each time and to not feel bad. He did the same today, and I sit alone at our usual table, mindlessly petting a cat in my lap while zoning out into in my mug of coffee. 

All while this happens, I watch, and I let it happen. I don’t fight for him because it didn’t feel right, sometimes second leads let their love fall for someone else, and that’s all it felt like I could do. 

Fighting for Minho felt selfish, especially when I knew I had no chance and he’d already fallen for Ahra. I couldn’t suddenly come out of the blue and tell him “hey, I have feelings for you,” when he’s already dating Ahra, I’d look like a major asshole if I did. All I could do was watch and see how we begun to drift farther and farther apart. 

With Minho being absent more often, I don’t get to tell him much. Like the internship offer I got to continue pursuing graphic design in Itaewon. I got the email almost a week ago, and I had two more weeks to decide if I was going to take the offer. With nobody to consult about it with I continue to push it to the back of my mind, not wanting to deal with more stress just yet. 

Just as I’m taking another sip of my coffee a familiar head of long blonde hair enters the cafe. My head tilts to the side in confusion as he scans the room for someone when he meets eyes with me, he makes his way over and sits in the seat in front of me and doesn’t say anything.

“You’re rarely on this side of town, why are you here?” I ask Hyunjin first.

“I heard something from Ms. Kim in our art class and needed to know if it was true.” He says seriously.

“What…” I feel like I know what he’s going to say, but I ask anyways. “What did you hear?” 

“That you were offered an internship in Itaewon.” 

“Hyunjin I-“

“Is it really true? She said you had two more weeks to decide, how come you haven’t told anybody? Does Minho know? Are you gonna leave? What about-” He begins to spurt out question after question and it’s almost too much for me to handle.

“Hyunjin!” I raise my voice just slightly to get him to stop but I have to turn it down again when the volume of my voice makes a few of the other customers’ heads turn. “Calm down, yes it’s true, yes I have two more weeks to decide if I’m going or not, I didn’t know how I would tell any of you, no, Minho doesn’t know and I don’t plan on telling him.” 

“Are you… Are you gonna take the offer?” He asks slowly.

I prop my elbows onto the table as the cat leaves my lap and my head drops into my hands as I sigh in exasperation. “I don’t know.” Tears are gathering in my eyes as I think about it. 

“Y/n, have you thought about the offer at all?” 

“Yes and no.” I don’t need to lift my head to sense Hyunjin’s confusion. “It’s hard to think about it when you’re watching your crush of 2 years date someone else while you’re also trying to finish up your senior year. But it’s also all I can think about when I’m alone, which I find myself a lot, thinking about having to find a place to live in Itaewon and transfer and mentally prepare to leave you all here, but if I don’t take it then it’ll be even harder to find an offer like this. It’s all I can think about and also something that I can’t bring myself to think about, Hyunjin.” I lift my head and my teary eyes meet his own. 

“Y/n…” His voice breaks saying my name.

“I think I’m going to take it.” I pause. “Once I finish all of my final assignments the only thing I have left to really worry about is graduating and finding a job, and I don’t think I can take watching Minho and Ahra anymore Hyun, I don’t think I can stomach it. I’m happy for them, I truly am, but it’s also affecting me and I don’t think I should ignore that anymore. If I’m in Itaewon I have a job and I won’t have to worry about feelings anymore, two birds with one stone.” 

I see the hesitancy in Hyunjin’s facial expressions before he speaks. “If that’s what you think you should do, then I’ll support you all the way. But shouldn’t you tell Minho about this?” 

“I’m not, because if I do, Minho is gonna find some way to get me to stay and I’ll crumble and stay because he affects me the most.” Hyunjin merely nods in response. “Hyunjin, you are the only one that can know about this, okay? I can’t have everyone else know this, especially Minho, okay?”

Hesitation again, and then, “Okay.” 

Hyunjin keeps his promise, he keeps the secret of me leaving from everyone. Even as graduation inches closer and our group begins to talk more about job searching, what comes next, and similar topics, the two of us keep it a secret. Whenever they asked me what I was thinking of doing next I always just told them “oh probably looking for internships nearby,” and no more questions are asked. 

Minho and Ahra were still very much in love, even more than before, if the growing absence of Minho’s presence was anything to go by. I barely saw Minho anymore, maybe catching him at the end of the hall every once in awhile, but he was always walking with Ahra so all I could say was “hello” and “goodbye.” 

Each goodbye begun to hold more and more weight as the days passed. Even the short ones I would tell Minho after passing him in the halls. I couldn’t even conjure how I would tell everyone, maybe send a letter to each of their places? A text message? Tell them after the graduation ceremony just before I left for the train station? I thought about how I would say goodbye as I begun to pack up my dorm. Graduation was nearing, I had already turned in all of my final assignments, and all there was left was to pack. I would leave after the ceremony ended, sometime in the afternoon. I wouldn’t even get the chance to properly celebrate being graduates with my friends because I was leaving in the afternoon. I’d get situated in my new apartment in Itaewon and get accustomed to new life outside of Gimpo. 

The thought of leaving panged my heart harshly, I had never left Gimpo permanently before. Sure, I had gone on trips to the US and Singapore and Seoul before, but I had never moved from Gimpo. I was born and raised in Gimpo, met Minho and all of our friends here, so the thought of moving for the first time did something to my heart. I attended all of our group hangouts with a nostalgic mindset, remembering the first time we all met, when we all got wasted one time on a Friday night after some big exam week. I look around our table of friends and think about how much I’ll miss all of this when I leave for Itaewon. 

Another thing that panged my heart, Minho and I distancing. I knew it was coming, Minho and I didn’t text or talk about hanging out anymore. He walked Ahra to her classes now, and had dates with her after class instead of meeting me at our cafe. Eventually I stopped getting apology messages, and stopped expecting him at the cafe anymore. I couldn’t blame him, Ahra was his girlfriend and I accepted that long ago. Instead I just played the supportive friend on the sidelines, and I’d continue to play that role for as long as I had to. 

It came to be the night before we graduated, and all of us minus Minho and Ahra were sat around a table in one of the restaurants we frequented, it wasn’t too late in the evening, and we all just sat in silence after finishing our food with bottles and glasses of soju now sitting in front of us. A majority of our meal was full of reminiscing, talking about memories that crack everyone up and left smiles on our faces. 

“So, we really graduate tomorrow, huh?” Changbin says when the table quiets down.

“Yeah, I guess we do.” Chan says quietly. 

My eyes tear up and I begin to sniff without control, the weight of my department tomorrow weighing heavily on my shoulders. Hyunjin puts an arm around my shoulders and gives me a tissue, whispering “it’s okay, it’s okay” to me while I try to calm down.

Everyone looks at me in confusion before Chan speaks first. “Y/n are you okay?” 

“Yeah, yeah, I just…” I trail off, not sure what to say.

“Do you want to tell them?” Hyunjin asks softly.

“Tell us what?” Seungmin says this time.

Hyunjin looks to me first before nodding, and I begin to spill my secret. “I got an internship offer.” 

The table erupts in cheers and I get congratulations thrown back at me before I can even continue.

“But…” Immediately everyone silences and looks to me in expectation. “It’s in Itaewon.” 

There’s a tense air that falls around us. “What?” Felix says in disbelief.

“You’re not leaving us, right Noona?” Jeongin asks from another part of the table. 

I look to Jeongin with sad eyes, smiling sadly. “I leave tomorrow, after our graduation ceremony.” There’s some gasps around the table.

“What?! Y/n, why didn’t you tell us sooner?” Changbin blows up and Chan has to place a hand on his shoulder to restrain him.

“I didn’t want every time we met leading up to graduation to feel like a goodbye, Bin, I couldn’t handle that. So I kept it from you all so there wasn’t this tension every time we met.” I explained.

“Does Minho know?” Seungmin asks this time, and I shake my head.

“Y/n…” Han says worriedly.

“Guys, I know I’m not the only one that’s noticed that me and Minho aren’t that close anymore, so I haven’t really gotten the chance to tell him. But I told Hyunjin this a long time ago, that I wouldn’t tell Minho specifically, because there’s some things that I need to figure out and if I told him he’d find some way to keep me from going, or even worse, follow me. At least with Ahra by his side he won’t follow me to Itaewon.” There’s nods all around the table, understanding where I’m coming from.

“We’re gonna miss you a lot.” Felix sniffs and I coo, getting up from my seat to wrap my arms around him from behind. 

“I’m gonna miss you all too.” I sniff with him, a few tears escaping my eyes. 

Chan comes to join our hug, then Han, then Jeongin, and soon enough everyone has joined the group hug with me in the middle. All of us are crying, and I had never felt more loved than that moment. 

Eventually we break away from the hug and return to our seats, everyone dabbing at their eyes with tissues and sniffing. 

“Let’s all stop crying, tonight is a night to celebrate, all of us graduate tomorrow, and our dear Y/n got an internship offer in a big city!” Han holds up a drink and we all do the same, cheering and clinking our glasses together and celebrating the night away. 

The next morning I get ready for graduation early, putting on my makeup and doing my hair, and sending a message. 

to: [cat dad who’s a leech :D]

hey, can you meet me at p&p in thirty?

My heart picks up the pace as I send the message, I didn’t expect him to answer so quickly yet his message pings my phone within 2 minutes. 

from: [cat dad who’s a leech :D]

sure, i can be there

to: [cat dad who’s a leech :D]

sweet, i’ll see you there

I turn my phone off and take a deep breath, we still had a few hours before we had to be at the school for our graduation ceremony, I’d have to leave just a few minutes after the ceremony ended which wouldn’t give me enough time to tell Minho, so, I made the painful decision the night before to tell him in the morning. I’d do it in our favorite spot in the corner of our favorite cat cafe, tell him the news slowly and hope that he takes it well. 

I leave my house and 15 minutes later I’m in our usual booth, my coffee order sitting in front of me and the cats all wandering around as there weren’t too many people since it was relatively early in the morning. I already bought Minho his typical Iced Americano and it sat in front of me, awaiting it’s owner. 

10 minutes later Minho arrives and makes his way to the table, sitting in front of me, smiling, unknowing of what’s about to happen. 

“Hey.” I smile at him.

“Hey you.” He smiles back brightly. “Sorry I couldn’t see you guys last night, I took Ahra out for dinner last night on a date.”

“It’s completely alright, how are you guys?” 

“Pretty good, things are going okay right now.” He answers.

“That’s good.” Nervously I take a sip of my macchiato in front of me, my leg bouncing in anxiety. 

“Y/n? Is everything alright? Your leg’s bouncing pretty fast right now.” Curse Minho and the fact that he knows so much about me, he reaches out for my wrist and checks my pulse, quickly noticing how fast it’s beating as his brows furrow in confusion. 

“Minho, there’s something I need to tell you.” I say, retracting my wrist from his grip. He doesn’t answer me but instead tilts his head like a cat does when it looks at its owner questionably. “I’m leaving.” 

“What?” He asks.

How could one look so endearing, head tilted and eyes full of emotion as I break the news to him? I ask myself. “I got an internship offer for a company in Itaewon, I accepted it and I’m leaving for Itaewon, today.” 

“You’re leaving today?” He says in disbelief, sounding out of breath.

I nod and continue. “After the graduation today I have to catch my bus. I didn’t have any other time to tell you so I had to tell you now.” 

“You’re… You’re just telling me now? Do the others know about this?” 

“I only told them last night.”

“You couldn’t have thought of telling me sooner?” He starts to get angry.

“Minho I-“

“What happened to telling me everything, huh? What happened to when we used to know everything about each other?”

“Minho, those days are long behind us, you have bigger priorities now, like putting your focus on your girlfriend, Minho. I couldn’t tell you because I knew you’d do something rash, and I didn’t even tell the others until last night because I knew every time we’d see each other it would be like preparing for the day I leave. You and Ahra have something so great going on for the two of you right now and telling you that I was leaving would take you away from that, and I can’t do that to you or her. Ahra is an amazing girl, and you have her now.”

“Will you at least visit?” His eyes are full of tears, some of the first I’ve seen in years and I hate that I’m the cause of it. 

“I don’t know yet, there’s some things I need to figure out myself first, before I can visit. But at some point maybe I will, when I’ve figured things out I’ll try visiting from time to time.” I offer him a sad smile. 

After a few moments of silence I get up from my seat. 

“We still have a graduation left, Min, I’ll still see you then.” I ruffle his hair and walk out of the cafe, no more secrets but one weighing down on my chest. 

The Graduation ceremony passes by in a blur. One moment we were listening to the speeches of each of the professors and the next we were tossing our caps into the air, cheering as we became alumni of our university. 

Our friend group met up in the front of the school, taking pictures with our parents and congratulating each other. Eventually, the time comes and I have to go. 

Our group stands in a circle, unmoving, as we all look at each other. 

“I’m gonna miss all of you so much.” I say in tears as my voice breaks.

“We’re gonna miss you too, Y/n.” Hyunjin says. At his words everyone gathers into a group hug full of tears and the weight of a goodbye on our shoulders. 

“You better promise to visit us, okay?” Felix holds me by the shoulders and makes a point to look me in the eye. Not trusting my voice, I nod and he brings me into one more hug. 

I hug each of them individually, saying a few words, before I reach the last person. 

I hug Minho and look into his eyes for the last time for a while.

“I’ll miss you.” He whispers.

“Me too.” And that’s all I can say. 

I leave the campus for the last time, hopping in my car to head to the station and start anew.

Second leads always leave in the end, they leave and let the two main leads have a happy ending. That’s what it felt like I was doing, and I couldn’t tell if I was content with my choice or not. 

Two and a half months in Itaewon passes quickly. 

The move into my new apartment was smooth, and it was odd to be in a bigger space than a small dorm room. It felt like I had more space than I knew what to do with. 

My internship was moving along smoothly as well, everyone I had met so far were really kind and taught me a lot. I was worried about feeling out of place but I had met a few other girls not much older than me who helped me feel at home. 

Being alone in a big city was unnerving, but what made it so much more comfortable was the addition of a cat that my parents had bought me as my graduation gift. She was a chartreux cat who I named Luna because I had always dreamed of naming my first cat that. My parents covered most of the costs of basic things like cat toys, a scratch post, her bed, and similar things. I thanked my parents endlessly when they came over to my apartment a week after I had moved in and gave me Luna. I wasn’t gone for too long during the day and always left food for her, she was great company when I came home and worked on projects late into the evening, curling up into my lap like the cats at the old cafe used to. She was my best friend in a city I was still getting accustomed to. 

I hadn’t talked to the guys much, I’d talked with them a few times in the group chat about how their job searches were going and trips they were planning to take soon. It was nice talking with them every so often but all of us were still pretty busy moving onto the next chapter of our lives. 

I hadn’t talked to Minho since I left, I’d assumed that he and Ahra were doing well, but that’s all that was, assumption. None of the boys talked about him and I couldn’t understand why, but I never asked since I was supposed to be moving on from my feelings in the first place. I thought I had been doing pretty well until something would come up that reminded me of him, like his favorite song would play in the cafe I bought my morning coffee in and spent my breaks at, or snapchat would send me “Today, 1 year ago” memories of him and me fooling around at Paws and Pastries. Whenever that would happen I’d be sent back to square one, and it felt like I’d never move on from Minho. 

I was on my way out to grab a coffee and spend my off day walking around, maybe looking into a few shops when I got a call from Hyunjin.

“Y/n! My favorite girl, how are you?”

“Hyunjin? What’s with the call?”

“What? Can I not call my friends from time to time?”

“Not when you’re notorious for calling your ‘friends’ after you’ve done something wrong.” I sigh.

“That was one time! Besides, it wasn’t that bad.”

“You dragged Jeongin to a party! And got him wasted!” 

“One. Time. Y/n. It was one time.”

“One time is enough for you to be in trouble for life, Hyun.”

“Okay, whatever, but I was meaning to ask you, what’re your plans for today?” 

“Me? I was just planning to go out, today’s my day off so I was gonna visit this one cafe and see some shops, why?” 

“No reason, what time do you think you’ll be home?” 

“Maybe five?”

“Great, okay, I have to go now, Han’s calling me, bye!” Hyunjin hangs up before I can ask him what’s with the weird questions.

“Hyunjin- Oh great he hung up.” I put my phone in my pocket before looking down at Luna who’s stretching near my legs. “Your uncle Hyunjin is quite the odd one, isn’t he Luna, hm?” I ask her and she meows back in response. “Weird indeed, but that’s just how he is. Mommy’s gonna spend her day out and then she’ll come home and we can watch the TV together, okay? I’ll be home soon.” I pick up Luna and set her on her little bed before ensuring everything is safe and make my way out the door. 

I spend the day eating at a large cat cafe that actually had an assortment of books with little reading areas while the cats roamed around everywhere. It was much bigger than the cafe in Gimpo, but I would always correlate that one with home. 

After I spent a bit of time reading there I went out and explored the shops for a few hours, bought some new jeans and a few blouses plus some makeup things. I got Subway for lunch and explored just a little bit more before heading home. Instead of going straight home, I decided to take the long way, going through the streets not minding the extra weight the few shopping bags I was holding in my hands gave me. The sun was just barely beginning to set as I walked into my apartment complex, getting into the elevator and pressing the button for my floor. 

I walk down the hallway to my door and am surprised when a familiar figure greets me there. 

“Minho?” I say as I walk closer. 

“Y/n!” He says happily, bringing me into a hug. 

“What are you doing here? Actually- Wait- Don’t answer that, do you wanna come inside?” I ask him.

“Sure.” He responds. 

I unlock the door and bring my bags in, setting them by the door. “Luna! Mommy’s home!” I call out automatically.

Luna meows and comes out of the bedroom, walking her way up to me before I pick her up. 

“You got a cat?” Minho asks.

“Yeah, parents brought her to me about a week after I moved in.” I put Luna back down and she moves to sit on the arm of the couch, her favorite spot to sit when the sun goes down.

“And you named her Luna,” He smiles fondly. “You always wanted to name your cat Luna.” 

“I’m surprised you remember that.” I chuckle. “Do you want some coffee?” 

“Sure.” 

“I’ll get that brewing, just give me a few minutes, you can take a seat on the couch and make yourself at home!” I tell him as I quickly retreat to the kitchen.

I have to take a few breaths when I’m far away enough from Minho, my heart beating just as fast as it would when I was around him back then. It was clear I hadn’t moved on at all. 

I brew the coffee as promised and wait next to the coffee machine with two mugs ready. A voice chimes in behind me.

“Your place is much bigger than the dorms.” He chuckles.

“Tell me about it, it was so weird buying more furniture than I was used to.” I laugh with him. 

The machine finishes brewing the coffee and I pour it into the two mugs, putting it on a tray with creamer and sugar before bringing it all to the coffee table in front of the couch. 

Minho and I take seats on the couch, separated by a bit of space between us while we sip on our respective mugs.

“So,” I start the conversation. “How’s home?” 

“Not too bad, same old same old, the guys being annoying as usual, you know?” He says.

“Sounds fun.” I chuckle. “And work, have you found anything yet?” 

“Not yet, I’ve got a few applications out, but I’m still waiting on some answers.”

“I’m sure you’ll get them soon.” I respond. 

An uncomfortable silence sets over the both of us, and I run my free hand through Luna’s fur who’s situated herself in my lap this time. I take a long sip of my coffee before asking another question.

“How’s… How are you and Ahra?” 

“Oh…” He trails off. “We broke up a few weeks ago.” 

“I’m sorry to hear that…” I had no idea that he and Ahra had broken up, in fact that was the completely opposite of what I thought had happened since they seemed to work together so well. 

“Yeah, it was a mutual thing. We didn’t really feel that kind of connection anymore, you know? So we just, broke it off.” 

“Are you okay?” I ask Minho.

“Me? Yeah, I’m actually not as affected as I thought I’d be, I don’t know if that makes me a cruel person or not but I was only sad for the first week or two. Nothing too bad.” 

“I see.” Another silence settles between us. This one is longer, more tense, there was something Minho wanted to ask but he wasn’t sure, and I couldn’t depict what question he was going to ask.

“Actually, I came her for a reason.” He says.

“And what reason is that?” I ask hesitantly.

“For answers.” My brows furrow, answers for what? “There’s something Hyunjin told me recently and it got me thinking, and I wanted to hear it from you if it was true.”  

I finish my coffee and place it down delicately on the coffee table, trying not to show how nervous I was with how badly my hands were shaking. “I’ll see if I have answers for you then.” 

“When you told me you were leaving, you said you had some, things, to figure out on your own. What was it that you had to figure out?” 

I take a moment to decide exactly how I was going to answer his question. Did I want to expose my feelings to him just yet? “Just, feelings.” I say vaguely.

“For?”

“Just feelings for somebody.”

“Is it Hyunjin?”

“No.”

“Chan?”

“Nope.”

“Changbin?”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Me?”

I pause for just a half second, and apparently that was all Minho needed. “I guess Hyunjin’s big mouth was right after all.”

“Wait- What? What are you talking about?” 

Minho takes a long sip of his coffee before finishing letting out a sigh after swallowing, he slowly sets the mug on the table before making direct eye contact with me and silently killing me with the suspense. “Minho please just say something you’re killing me here.”

He only chuckles in response. “Hyunjin told me not too long ago that you took up the offer to work here because you were going to sort out your feelings, for me.” He says sweetly as I suck in a breath at his last words. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Minho-“

“Now now, Y/n, we shouldn’t hide things from each other anymore, should we?” His sweet, sultry voice was affecting me greatly as he leaned closer to me on the couch. I gulp and silently curse when Luna, the only thing keeping me sane, leaves the comfort of my lap for her scratch-post. 

“Minho…” I let out quietly.

“Tell me, Kitten, is it true?” He asks once again. 

“I-“ My voice catches in my throat when Minho leans in ever nearer, still making direct eye-contact with me. “Yes, it is.” I sigh out and Minho backs away. 

“He was right.” Minho whispers while my gaze drops to my hands that I fiddle with in my lap at the secret that’s let out. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I’m sorry.” I whisper.

“Why are you sorry darling?” He asks softly and uses his thumb and forefinger to tilt my head up by my chin. 

“I couldn’t tell you because I knew you didn’t feel the same, and then when you got together with Ahra we drifted apart because it hurt me to see you with her. Then I left and told you about me leaving so last minute. I made you cry, Minho, and I hate that I did. But I couldn’t see any other way out of it. I hurt you because I was cowardly and didn’t want to be selfish by telling you and having your attention move off of Ahra, when I was really being selfish by not telling you and hurting you in the end.” More tears escape my eyes as we look at each other.

“Princess, no…” He cups my face with his hands and uses his thumbs to wipe away my tears. “I’ll admit, it did hurt when you told me that you were leaving the day of, but I understood where you were coming from. Because you were right, I would have done something crazy to keep you by my side. Do you know why?” He asks, and I shake my head, still crying. “Because I need you by my side, kitten, even when I was dating Ahra I felt off but just didn’t pay any mind to it because I had her. But now I know it’s because you and I were drifting apart, I found out when after you left and me and Ahra broke up because I felt empty. I couldn’t text you to just come over anymore because you’re farther away from me now. I lied earlier, I said that I sent out some applications for jobs but didn’t get any answers yet, right?” I nod. “I got offered a job as a software engineer, here, in Itaewon, and I said yes.” 

“Why?” I whisper.

“Because I want to be near you, I need to be by your side Y/n, because I love you.” I let out a sob at his confession and he coos, bringing me to rest my head on his chest and rubbing his hands on my back and running them through my hair. 

“I love you too.” I say after a few minutes. 

Minho brings me out of his hold, and cups my face again. For the first time, he kisses me. His lips brush over mine before deepening the kiss, taking full charge of it yet somehow still being soft with me. His kisses were nothing short of addicting, and I knew I’d be in love with him for a long time. 

In that moment, kissing the man of my dreams, I remember that it may be rare that a second lead gets their own happy ending, but it’s not unheard of. Sometimes the main lead and second lead do end up with their own happily ever after. 

Notes from the author: I have FINALLY posted something y’all 😂 took a few months but she’s here, and she’s dishing out something at least. I don’t know how often I’ll be posting again, esp with school and whatnot, but I do know I need to drain out my drafts because phew, it’s getting a little full in there. 

But anyways, I hope you enjoyed this fic! I’m pretty sure it’s one of the longest I’ve written if not the longest. Hopefully it wasn’t too bad, I’m probably a little rusty but we can fix that (i think)

if you want more I still have my old stuff up on my masterlist on my account! hope to see you around :))

-nyx

[yourstormthlaylirahh]

Reveal your watch and to watch drama list!

No one tagged me in this and I’m late to the trend or whatever, but I enjoy talking to myself on tumblr dot com so I am going to do it.

Currently Watching:

Vice Versa - It was so good! I had so much fun watching it, and it kept me on my toes so far and nothing went quite how I expected it to. I adore Jimmy to pieces and I am excited to have him play a role I won’t starting hating partway through (cough Wai cough cough). That being said thus far him and Sea are overshadowed by my excitement to see Ohm and Nanon acting together again, and I am already extremely attached to their characters. They are just really fun to watch onscreen together. And Lay is adorable, I love him and wish him nothing but the best already. Also Forcebook!!!!!

Sky in Your Heart - I want it to be better than it is. I don’t dislike it per se, but it isn’t leaving a lasting impression for the most part - and that is saying something as I am quite easy to please. The last episode was really good though, so I am hopeful the finale will deliver.

Mama Gogo - This show is just fun, and I love seeing Earth get to play a different role than usual. Toptap is excellent, though I have a bit of a bias and really the whole cast is doing a great job.

Senpai This Can’t Be Love! - Japan continues to produce excellent content. I love how caring of each others feelings the leads are, and the humour is excellent, as per usual with Japan.

My Secret Love - I look forward to this show every week. I wouldn’t say it is good all the time, sometimes the tropes they lean into are irritating and the chancellor can fuck right off, but when the show nails the assignment it really delivers. I am enjoying all 3 main couples, and love how they have very different relationships and struggles. It is easy for shows with this many couples to feel redundant but My Secret Love never does. The less said about Tim the better though. I really dislike him. I am liking Mek more as the series goes on, but he still fucks up majorly every episode. Why was your apology to Tim so insincere when given to Tim himself and not to Kim?  Also the sisters should be a GL couple just saying.

Love Mechanics - It is messy and dramatic and oh so entertaining. I really root for MarkVee despite everything, in no small part thanks to spectacular jobs by both actors.

Want to See You - The episodes have been getting better recently, and it was never bad, just more soap opera than I am accustomed to. Thach and Phuc are really sweet together now that they are actually communicating. I’m not sold on how hard they have angled Nu into a villain - it seems she is competing with Namning and  Amy (La Cuisine and What Zabb Man) for ‘most ridiculously over the top cardboard spurned lover’ villain ever.

Cafe Minamdang - I am behind on this. I started it to fill the From Now on Showtime shaped hole in my heart, and it is doing it’s job, even though I don’t think it is quite as good.

Alchemy of Souls - Fun, indulgent little fantasy drama where my second lead syndrome is luckily mostly offset by my multishipping tendency.

Even Sun - The premise and cast could have made this very good, but it is just ok due to a dud of a script. The actors do their best and manage to somewhat salvage it, but we are halfway through the the two mains have had the same conversation with almost no variation each episode.

Extraordinary Attorney Woo - I love this! I adore her and she is so relatable, and even though our autism presents in some drastically different ways she makes me feel so seen.

46 Days - I still have to finish the last couple episodes of this. Pure crack and I cackle every episode. Though every time I watch I am struck by how much I would love Mild and Baifern to play a couple sometime, they play off each other really well.

Kanakana - I am having some trouble tracking down subbed eps which is frustrating. But this is one of my favourite dramas this year. It is so sweet, and I love the main character so much. I am also a sucker for tropes about misunderstood characters who look scary but are softies, so this gives me everything I want. It also gives me Yotsuba vibes.

I also just finished Kinnporsche, Triage, Kimi no Koto Dake Mite Itai, and TMS2. I enjoyed all of them, though the writing of Kinnporsche fell apart halfway through and the writing team made some highly questionable decisions, especially in the finale. I think they tried to do to much at once and ended up being satisfying with very little of it. Triage is so far not only the best show of 2022 so far, but one of my favourite shows ever. It was well plotted, with excellent gradual character reveals/development. I cannot recommend it highly enough. Kimi no Koto... was excellent, such a sweet coming of age story, albeit short. I liked TMS2 a lot, I waited till it was finished airing and binged it which helped with the pain. I also think I’m going to drop Check Out and just treat Ep 0 as a spin off, because I loved the pilot episode and the show is just... not good.

I do plan to start Colour Rush 2, Mystic Pop Up Bar, & Oh My Sunshine Night when I have time.

Rewatching:

I’m not really rewatching anything myself at the moment, but I am rewatching Bad Buddy with my cousin and I am going to start Triage with her soon, and then probably Not Me. And I convinced mom to watch ATOTS with me so that will be fun.

Looking Forward To:

Too many to list! But I am most excited for Moonlight Chicken, Art Adore En, The Uncanny Counter 2,  Never Let Me Go, The Eclipse, Gap, My Only 12%, Home School, She is Still Cute Today, Girlfriend Project Day 1, Cheese Sister, War of Y, and Six Characters

Also shout out to MOD2/Transplant, since that seems to be happening and I couldn’t be more thrilled. Sammon adaptation supremacy!

[narcissa-black-supermacy]

Sirius as a character suffers from being perceived as a sidekick to others, mainly James and Remus, which is where half of his mischaracterization comes from. In the days of old, it was James. These days, it's Remus.

I agree how he's often treated as a side character to Remus in Wolfstar and to Regulus in Jegulus fics, but tbh I have yet to see a fic where he's more of a side character than James.

I think James suffers from the supporting character syndrome more than any of the "main" characters in the Marauders Era. Partially because he's been written as "Sirius' friend" and "Lily's boyfriend" for years in Wolfstar fics. Which is why I love Jegulus so much, which has the potential to bring out so much out of him and finally focus on him as his own person, and instead....his character has been flattened out even further, it drives me nuts.

Sirius is actually the one who gets the most screen time in canon, so we had more time to perceive him as a real character, rather than an "idea" like James or Regulus.

It's easier to write someone as purely good with "fake" flaws (when I say fake flaws i mean flaws that aren't actually flaws, like being shy (Remus) or being "too kind" whatever the hell that means (James)) when they don't have much of a canon base.

Sirius does, he has had enough time to argue with half of the Order members in the few lines he's been given. So it's easy to latch onto that, like people latch onto the few bad lines Molly had and claim she's a bad mum, or people seeing one scene where Snape hits Ron and Harry w a book and saying "oh he abuses kids".

I think that at the end, it all boils down to people not really being interested in unpacking issues and writing/reading complex characters that do both good and bad, but simply wanting something easy and comfortable to project onto.

Which is okay, not everything has to challenge you. Sometimes you want to self-indulge, I get it.

But if you only read/write and center your content around characters who are like you, you will never grow and you will never understand others. You will have trouble making friends and mending relationships. It's important for personal growth to step out of your comfort zone and relate to someone who is not relatable.

(but thats just my humble opinion)

[frobin]

Okey serious question here. How much do you actually believe that Oda ships Frobin? Like do you think he actually have like doodles/sketchs of them in a pairing kind of way? like for the strong world film riding the motorbug? (Personally i would love it to be true but he has stated one piece isn't about romance in that way)

Hey there anon! Thank you so much for your question and I hope I can answer it seriously enough. Also once more sorry for the late response. I felt like a question like that needs some research and that is what I did these last few days.

So... I think I'll start with the tl;dr because that way people can read that and ignore the rest.

So, long answer short: I 100% believe that Oda has one or more sketchbooks with drawings of his characters that are absolutely self-indulgent. I am 98% sure that he has drawn Franky and Robin in a romantic way at least once (and supported the ship). I am 80% sure he still is shipping FRobin.

Little disclaimer: I actually have no idea if any of this is true. I pull everything in my arguments out of my own experiences and knowledge and since I'm not a 46 year old Japanese Mangaka my perspective might be WAY OFF.

argument - reason- example - conclusion... behind the cut (or in the google doc)

So, why do I think that Oda has a secret sketchbook?

Simple answer is that he is an artist. He is drawing a lot and no artist will publish everything. That can have multiple reasons like imposter syndrome or because the artist thinks it’s not good or interesting enough or they just forget. There are even more reasons I forget and every person has their own.

For Oda I can imagine two big reasons as to why he would keep secret sketchbooks.

First: He is a horndog. You can skip this part if you don’t want to read about it, to the second reason.

Anyway, we know thanks to answers in the SBS, the way he likes to draw big-breasted women and how some of his characters are classified as perverts that he can be considered one too.

Let me show you a few of a few lewd SBS questions he likes to answer in a funny way:

Chapter 228, Page 46

D: How are ya, Odacchi? I know how much you like getting butt-naked, so this must be a favourite season for you. <3

O: Yes, yes. I just LOVE getting completely naked. In the summertime, after I take a bath I just run STRAIGHT OUTSIDE!! And when the girls' softball team running on the sidewalk looks over at me, they say, "Yup, it's really summer now!!" ... AS IF!! I'D GET ARRESTED!!!

(x)

Chapter 433, Page 68

D: If Lady Robin can use her Hana Hana Powers to make any part of her body sprout somewhere else, does that mean she can do it with her ample bosom as well? "Nyurin-zaki" (Breast Sprout) Boy, I'd like to take a hit from that sometime... P.N. Ero Ero no Mi Devil Fruit User.

O: "Ichirin-zaki" (Single Sprout) "Nirin-zaki" (Double Sprout) "Nyurin-zaki" (Breast Sprout) Very clever!! NO IT'S NOT!! STOP THAT!! I'm sure she CAN do it though ♡

(x)

Chapter 798, Page 64

D: Oddachi, I'll give you a pornographic book, so please answer my question. Sanji won't allow anyone to waste food, but what will he do if a woman does so? P.N. Smoker's Cigar

O: I think he would grab the plate and eat it up. Now please give me the pornographic book.

(x)

Nowadays I’m sure there is a focus on those lewder questions compared to the beginning because that is what 13 year old boys laugh about and we all know that is Oda's main demographic (of course).

I think a very good picture of that is given by Tekking101 in his breakdown video of SBS Volume 100.

“Let’s get diving into these questions (...) now, this is a huge moment. I mean, not many Manga manage to reach 100 Volumes, Okay? Now I know Oda usually starts these off with questions relating to boobs and things that don’t really… you know, aren’t really relevant but you know, this is a big celebration so we’re gonna dive right into it. I bet the most important things that we need to know about the One Piece Story are right here in these pages, okay? I printed them out. That is how important this is. So let’s start off, shall we? Epic voice, Barry!

‘Mister Oda, there is a UFO over there with huge big-breasted beauties on it. That memorable 100 Volume of the SBS is about to begin.’

[pause] Yeah, like the first five of these are all related to boobs in some way. You know what Oda? Sticking true to your guns! Godspeed, Sir Oda. Godspeed.”

(end at around 2:30)

So, Oda is a man who likes beautiful women and who draws.

Coming to the conclusion that he will draw his own characters in suggestive poses, naked and even doing adult stuff is not hard.

Obviously he would not show these sketches just around. He would probably keep them in a secret sketchbook that he keeps at a safe location. Maybe his wife and some close friends know about it? Maybe it is his and only his little secret.

I don’t think it would be unlikely to learn about this years into the future, maybe the next generation of Anime Fans will hear about this.

And it would not be the first time that something like this happened.

Not that long ago the daughter of Osamu Tezuka - groundbreaking Mangaka, known for his works of “Astro Boy”, “Kimba the white lion” and many more - found his adult Furry art. Source; Japanese article;

It’s a fact that many Mangaka did indeed start their career with art of the more risque kind and/or as doujinshi artists.

So again, I have no doubt that Oda, a known pervert, has one or more secret sketchbooks with „the p0rnography“ in it. Is there only hot stuff in there? Not necessarily.

The second reason to keep a secret sketchbook would be to collect information in there, that could be considered canon but he is not willing to use it in the Manga. Maybe they are not important enough or will be used later.

What am I imagining here? Anything that could be considered too weird for the normal sketchbook but isn‘t too risque. Funny things that might still not be „appropriate.“

Like a sketch of the male Strawhat ding-dongs with the sizes beside it. All the lewd jokes the fans did about Luffy's stretching qualities? I’m sure Oda thought about them too and drew that in the past if he had the time and it made him laugh enough.

But also maybe there are scenes in there that never made it in the Manga. The Strawhats interacting with each other in their daily lives, ideas for colorspreads and maybe chapter-titles. Oda probably has noted/sketched down a lot of unofficial stuff somewhere.

Another example, even an artist like Oda himself would have needed to exercise drawing two people kissing. Why not use Characters he thinks that might work out together?

Why not Franky and Robin? I would imagine he sketched up a few panels of Franky and Robin having a romantic date, going shopping together in Dressrosa, having a conversation that we never got to see because it was too on the nose.

Which brings us to the second point of me being very sure that Oda had drawn FrankyXRobin at one point.

I’m sure in those sketchbooks there is at least one drawing of them doing anything couple-related together. Again it does not have to be downright nasty but it could be them holding hands, kissing or even just Robin leaning onto Franky while reading, like all those fanarts that exist out there.

It’s not hard to imagine. Even for other Characters I think that is possible

And there might even be proof for that idea. The sketch of the Strong World movie you also mentioned, anon. The one movie that can be considered canon is Strong World. It was basically written/directed by Oda. Shiki the antagonist had an appearance in the Manga.

This sketch is drawn by Oda. Robin is holding onto Franky.

Can it be read as romantic? Yes. Can it be read as Robin holding onto Franky because there is nothing else to hold onto? Also Yes. But couldn't she just have used her power to keep herself secured on the bike without holding onto Franky? WELL YES. Could Oda never have thought in these circles like I do right now? I hope he did not because I hate it and I don’t wish it upon him.

In the movie Robin is NOT holding onto Franky. Now the really interesting thing - that is neither proof pro nor anti FRobin - is that we can see the sketch provided by Oda as a “between the scenes”.

In the movie Strong World the old trio is collecting information at the Pirate assembly. The next time we see them they use the Batta GT-7000 to slowly approach the destroyed village, which had been ravaged by the animals, and start to look for their friends. No need to hold onto Franky and no need for Brook to lean back. They are looking around.

The sketch is clearly not the same scene as the one we see in the movie.

In conclusion the drawing is indeed a between the scenes drawing. And yes if there exists one, who is to say there aren’t more?

Talking about Animal-Bikes...

Is there any meaning about the fact that in the opening scene (that is part of the talked intro after the opening ‘We Go’ - a huge thanks to antiherofangirl, ccb0nnet, JFL_Estudios and Maems, over at twitter!) Franky and Robin build another grasshopper-based vehicle? Maybe not but I still feel like it’s quite a callback.

Where did the idea to put this in the beginning come from? a) an editor had the idea inspired by Strong World; b) maybe it’s another sketch that Oda provided.

Neither seems very far-fetched in my opinion.

So yes, I am very sure that Oda has drawn things that we would consider FRobin.

Now to the last point (the first being Oda having a secret sketchbook, the second me arguing that Oda might have drawn FRobin).

As I said in the beginning I’m very sure that at one point Oda did and kinda that he still does ship Franky and Robin. Because even though every Interaction of two characters can be depicted as romantic or platonic, Oda used ROMANTIC TROPES with Franky and Robin.

They have never kissed on screen but we had

finishing each other's sentences

coordinated clothes

one using the others lap as pillow

hand on cheek caressing

and we can’t forget that Robin had answered Franky's invitation to ride on another animal-themed bike with a heart.

Edit: I didn‘t say anything about „no romance in OP“ so ask again if you want me to talk a bit about that. Sorry!

Those are things an author of Oda's level would not write or draw without being aware about how teasing this is. He has to be aware that every single line he draws will be analyzed to the end of the universe and back. People earn money by saying their opinion and interpretations about the Manga on Youtube.

These interactions are not something outlandish like “There was once an Anime Scene in which Robin was wearing something blue and exactly 28 episodes later Franky was wearing something violet and then 39 episodes later they both stood beside each other for exactly 69 seconds.”

Whenever I think about these facts, things that are not about interpreting but are factual, black ink on white paper but also about the little things, about how Frank and Robin help each other to become better, how they support each other… I want to say YES! ODA IS 100% on board! While in reality I’m 80% sure and 20% of me is wondering if I’m not actually analyzing too much into it. If maybe he really is abandoning ship. Maybe I will become the person who will curse his name and throw my Mangas and fanfictions in an active volcano?

I don’t know and it’s impossible to say what is going to happen.

And with that I've concluded this answer, and it only took me around 2k words and four days.

[jennsmischievousmind]

Fucks not Found

Ghosts

Summary: You hack, that's what you do. Dying to do so freely, wasn't what you had expected. Meeting the weirdest fucking squad; losing the best part of you; falling for a thief : was not planned.

Pairing : Four/Billy (Ben Hardy) - You

A/N: The story goes through the all movie, so I suggest you watch it before reading.

I don't own any characters other than Eight.

English is not my native language, I'm trying to get better at it, please be indulgent.

Tried my best to match Ryan Reynold's level of sass aha

Ch1 Ghosts | Ch2 Florence | Ch3 A Matter of Seconds | Ch4 I need a Backdoor | Ch5 Die Hard | Ch6 White Flag | Ch7 Haunt the Living | Ch8 One, but not done [end]

This is how you die.

"So you're the one who hacked the wrong guy" You swiftly turn around gasping at the sudden voice in your apartment

"Depends, you’re his hitman?" You were ready to run even if it means jumping by the window.

"Nooo, I'm an angel.” You snort at his sarcasm, unknown to you at this moment that he was full of it.

"Wanna disappear?" he asked taking a seat at the kitchen table eyeing your bags at the door.

"In a body bag? Slowly you make your way to the knives, just in case.

"You are a funny one, aren't you? I know the man you stole from, you won't get far until he got you. But, he emphasized, if you’re willing to do what's right.."

"I've already done my part for the flag." Assuming he was American by the way he talked.

"I'm not talking about shitty drug dealers. But evil war-lovers, genocide perpetrators, that kind of shitty so-called human. Those ones that are above the laws with governments' balls in their hands, ready to squish them.”

"That's gross" your brother appeared from the adjacent room. You let your mind consider the stranger’s offer as soon as you look at your confused brother, knowing he was in danger because of you.

“You two look at lot alike.” The guy leaned in, screwing his eyes at you both.

“We’re twin dumbass” your brother answered glancing at you wondering.

“What’s the deal?” you asked considering the offer

The guy smirked, “Well, to be short you die, and then you take down evil motherfuckers without governments’ backlash on you.” He tapped his fingers against the Formica table.

It took 5 minutes.

"One condition, my brother comes to!"

"What's he good at?" he crossed his arms.

"I can drive…Hold on what? Die? Who the fuck are you!?”

"Already too many questions” he rolled his eyes

"He's a hell of a driver, it got him under surveillance when he got chased by 6 police cars after an illegal race back in the States."

"So they caught up Muttley” the guy clucked his tongue

“Hey!”  

"No, you interfered almost ashamed, I told him to stop the car...I got motion sickness."

The guy erupted in laughter, you two watching him unamused.

_

“I’m more like Peter Perfect.”  Your brother mumbled as the guy left.

You look by the window discreetly, catching a glimpse of the guy mingling in the crowd. “You’re Muttley bro.”

A week later you got a text. The guy who called himself One had planned your fake death. A random trek in Italy’s mountains, an assumed fatal fall, no bodies recovered.

It was never supposed to be your life. But we all know nothing happens as it should.

Papà went to fight a war and disappeared, you were forced to move in America when you were 6.

Mammà never cope the loss of her motherland and husband. She died of a belated broken heart syndrome when you were 16. 

Both you and your brother were placed in a host family. It wasn’t a crappy family like it’s always the case in some tv show, they were nice and wealthy. The father was a tech engineer, somehow you took interest in his work and start learning to code, soon reading about hackers: white hats; black hats; “We are Legion”, you were hooked and skilled in a matter of time.

When you turned major though, things turned difficult, the host family had to let you go and Internal Affairs of your state caught you looking in their network. Which led to you working as a C.I for them, it was that or prison. Not thrilled by the idea but obliged to cooperate was your new motto.

Your brother had some job here and there but nothing steady, so money from the IA was welcome.

After a year and a half, I.A ditched you, it was rather good news in a way, they’ve erased your past mistakes but said they’d keep a distant eye on you.

So you moved on from your shithole that was the 1 bedroom apartment you and your brother shared and went to your parents’ hometown in Italy. Your brother was reluctant at first as he couldn’t even say hello in Italian, you taught him as your mamma had done it with you but he wasn’t that interested.

Working with people was not your forte, you were too bossy, so you got fired ... plenty of times: from a coffee shop, a rental bike shop and a tourist city tour bus thingy. So you started doing what you were good at, hacking for money, it went well for a few years, never being too greedy - until you hacked the wrong person and got in trouble.

That's how you became a Ghost and ended up in the middle of the California Desert.

_

One had built a squad. No names, only numbers to identify each other. Not calling your brother by his name was a challenge, same for him.

There were 7 of you.

One, the “boss”, a mysterious sassy billionaire who decided to fund his own strike team.

Two, a French blonde woman, pretty cold, a spy apparently

Three, a crazy hitman who couldn’t shut up

Four, a young parkour master and reformed thief

Five, a Doctor, but you heard she was actually working at a Dentist

Six, your brother, the annoying driver.

And then Eight, you, the Black Hat somehow becoming a hacktivist.

Why not Seven? Long story short, it was one more condition you’d submitted to One.

_

_SICILY

"Your focus determines your reality.”

“Oh for fuck's sake One, quit your Jedi bullshit!” you loosed your temper typing on your keyboard angrily. An entire week, an ENTIRE WEEK quoting Star Wars!

Four and Five laughed in the comm. One braced himself on the other end of the line. Three cut the heavy silence.

“Eight, Chiquita please stop yelling”

“I’m not a Chiquita stop saying that!”

“Ok ok chi…Eight, damn you’re stressful” 

“God, why do I have to team you up!!” One facepalm

“Now what?” Five asked

Radio silence

“Oh so now no one’s talking! What are you, 4?” One angrily called out to you 2.

“Yeah, uh high, literally.” Four answered One, you snorted.

“No ..  damn not you!”

“You called me Mate!” Four said offended

“No, shush – Eight are you done with the system?” he was about to lose it.

“I’ve been done with it the second Three called me Chiquita!” you crossed your arms in front of your laptop.

“Hey ..” “We’re not talking about that again!” One cut Three

“Can we get going now?” Two interfered, you heard her bike roaring.

“Finally, some sensed words.” One said wrapping it up.

Four entered the place you’d hacked the system of. Six and Two were not far in case of trouble.

“Four, the hard drive is in the main office. Second floor.” One enunciated, you followed Fours progression with the security cameras.

It was enlivening, stressful, but oh so exciting. When you worked with I.A you were never there when they’d go down in action, it was nothing but boring data researched and dealer’s MacBook.

“Freeze Four, guards coming east.” Switching cams you gave him a safe path.

“Ok, you’re clear. Now to your left, third door then turn right.”

Four got his hands on the hard drive containing all you needed to know about the next target.

“Well done.” One congratulated the team

“Thanks, thanks, It helps to have a sexy voice guiding you” Four chuckled, you blushed, sexy voice? is that even possible?

“Great, kid. Don’t get cocky.”

You rolled your eyes at the endless use of Star Wars' quotes.

“Hum that’s my sister, remember?” Six growled tightening the wheel

“Luke grab Solo, meet up in 15minutes at the hotel. Everyone move!” One instructed you smiled at the thought of being Leïa. Gosh, you were as much of a nerd as One.

Climbing down the jeep Three had rented, you laughed seeing your brother holding Four in an arm lock for a few seconds anyway, Four reversed the lock, pining your brother’s arms behind himself.

You passed by them “Easy with my twin please.” Four wasn’t releasing his hold so you stopped, turning back you lift an eyebrow at Four insisting he let him go.

“Oh!” he lifted his hands in defence taking a step back.

Grabbing your brother by the sleeves as he was about to jump on Four “Come on piccino” you made your way in the hotel laughing.

_ 

Your first big mission started a few weeks after, everyone gathered in The Haunted House as One called it, an old bunker, cheesy name for an HQ.

“You don’t get it, I need a CAR!”

“That’s a car, Six.” Three argued back.

“No that’s a heap, that thing won’t get us through the paved road of Italy, believe me.”

Four and Five were amused by the situation, Three had rent a truck and an old Volvo for this mission.

“Alright, shut up, we’ll get another car!” One declared, Six flicked to Three.

One resumed the mission’s details. Giving everyone their own missions. A simple mission, retrieve a lawyer’s smartphone.

In the midst of it, your hand flew to your brother’s head next to you. The smacked resonating between the walls of the unfinished bunker.

“Why ..why’d you hit him?” One asked confused, your brother was rubbing the back of his head frowning at you.

“Cain’s instinct.” You replied wriggling your fingers for him to continue. Four snorted, Six nudged him in the ribs.

In a few months, you had learned a lot from this weird squad. Learning to shoot was an obligation, Three was insane but a good teacher.

You’d asked Four to teach you some parkour in case of a chase. Six and Four became close friends in a matter of time. Five was nice, but you were never one to be good at making friends. Two was not a big talker and frankly, she scared you a little.

So you spend your free time hacking and reading, on the hammock installed between a dismantle plane and a dead tree. Not far from there you could hear Four skating in the empty pool and three at the makeshift shooting range.

Suddenly,

“EIGHT!”

Groaning you closed your book “WHAT!?

Your voice boomed against the caravan and lost itself in the desert, but you still hoped Four had heard. It was his thing, screaming your name instead of coming to you directly. At his silence, you wriggle out the hammock and strode to the pool.

“What’d you want skater boy?”

He was lying in the pool his board by his side. “Four?” you made your way to the ladder, “hey” you gently nudge him with your foot but he didn’t move.

“Four? you called out worried, “shit” knees hitting the vinyl liner checking if he was breathing, he wasn’t.

“Hey wake up, seriously dude don’t make me do CPR on you, I suck at it!” suddenly laughter erupted in your ears. Six appearing on the edge, Four chucked on the floor.

“Pranking you..he tried to breathe in, is always the best sis!” Six laughed even harder at your confused face. Still kneeling at Four’s side, he was looking at you laughing, until he wasn’t, catching a glimpse of worry melting with anger in your eyes.

Punching his left shoulder, you hurried out the pool. He stayed on the floor watching you go.

“Don’t make me do CPR I suck at it!” your brother was still laughing his brain's out.

_

“What was that?”

Four leaned on the dead tree near your head, his shadow offering some shade.

“A real bad joke?”

“No I mean, why’d you hit me?”

Sighing you clasped your book closed for the second time today “you really got me worried, happy?”

“No, you propped up on your elbow at his answer craning your head to him, I didn’t mean to scare you.” His warm hand slide in your hair at the base of your neck, he leaned in, letting you enough time to push him away if you wanted.

"Sorry" he whispered, his lips pressing in your temple gently, warmly for a few seconds. Catching yourself leaning in you almost fell off the swinging' hammock as he released his hold, he grinned and left not saying anything more.

"What the hell Four!!" you yelled at him, an ounce of laughter in your voice, a blush creeping into your cheeks, his own laughter filling the desert's silence.

FLORENCE

A/N: don't forget to double tap if you liked it. 🙏

[maxineswritingcenter]

I posted 254 times in 2021

79 posts created (31%)

175 posts reblogged (69%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 2.2 posts.

I added 205 tags in 2021

#derek hale x reader - 35 posts

#teen wolf fic - 31 posts

#teen wolf x reader - 28 posts

#derek hale fic - 24 posts

#maxineswritingcenter - 19 posts

#supernatural fic - 17 posts

#dean winchester x reader - 15 posts

#dean winchester - 13 posts

#supernatural fanfiction - 12 posts

#dean x reader - 11 posts

Longest Tag: 117 characters

#and i feel like if the writers had balls they would have called john out when he got brought back for abandoning adam

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Maybe in Another Life - Dean x fem!reader 

In this universe, Chuck had won, Dean, Sam, and (Y/N) were the only ones left. They must find another reality to live so they can find a way to bring back their own. But After getting separate, (Y/N) must find her Dean with working with this universe’s hunters. 

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47 notes • Posted 2021-08-31 16:42:24 GMT

#4

You Saved Me - Derek Hale x fem!reader part 2

So the first part did decently well, so I figure I could add a second part. 

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48 notes • Posted 2021-05-21 02:33:06 GMT

#3

You Saved Me - Derek Hale x fem!reader

So, back in the day I wrote this story on Quotev. And it was one of my first stories that got into the popular section and I am really proud of it. The only problem is.... It was written in 2013, uber cringe-ville. If you wanna try to find it, be my guest but be warned: the main character is an OC, she has “I’m NoT lIkE oThEr GiRlS” syndrome and there are some weird ass love lines added in. So, I am reviving and rebranding that story so it may live a better life, like witness protection. Anyway, hope you enjoy

* I wrote it in first person just because I thought it would be easier to read

(Y/N)’s family is killed in a fire that seems to plague Beacon Hills, moving in with the Stilinski’s was bound to cause hijinks, but what happens when she gets involved with the the illusive Derek Hale?

TW: Kidnapping, some violence

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70 notes • Posted 2021-05-18 04:29:42 GMT

#2

You Saved Me - Derek Hale x fem!reader Masterlist

(Y/N)’s family is killed in a fire that seems to plague Beacon Hills, moving in with the Stilinski’s was bound to cause hijinks, but what happens when she gets involved with the the illusive Derek Hale?

172 notes • Posted 2021-05-30 21:39:47 GMT

#1

Short Stack - Stiles Stilinski x fem!reader

nyotamalfoy : So, I was thinking, could you write a Stiles Stilinski x reader? Like the reader is short and the pack just loves to make fun of her (all in good sense) and could it include Derek too?

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218 notes • Posted 2021-08-22 23:09:28 GMT

Thank you all so much for making my year! This blog wouldn't be anywhere without your support. I have a lot of things planned for this month and next year. I can't wait for you to be a part of it!

A special thank you to my general taglist for sticking around, even through my self-indulgence fics 😳

@happy-little-winchester

@hobby27

@tranzfred

@vicmc624

@ria132love

@lilulo-12

@lewispool

@tloveswriting

@mikrokosmicjoon

@calaofnoldor

@supernatural3002

@cevans-winchester

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[tae-cup]

.hamartia.  ‘Prologue,

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader (f) x Taehyung (?)

Genre: Mafia!Au, Fluff, Angst (Mostly angst oopsies) I DO NOT CONDONE BEHAVIOR DISPLAYED IN THIS, PLEASE IT’S FICTION AND DON’T DO STUPID THINGS THANK YOU

Plot: Y/N is a skilled, well, torturer, though you don’t like to call yourself that; it makes what you do too real. When mafia boss Yoongi wants information or wants a hostage to suffer, you step in. However, one fateful day you are thrown Taehyung, another person who does your line of work. You need answers, he is determined not to give them to you. That’s when you try...a different approach, and Yoongi is not pleased. 

Rating: TV-MA

WARNINGS: YO IF YOU’RE NOT COOL WITH SUBTLE BI AGENDAS THEN I’M SORRY THIS IS NOT THE PLACE FOR YOU, Blood, torture, mafia things (ya know?), eventual smut, drugs alcohol, sadistic tendencies, a fundamentally flawed main character (I’m sorry i’m just writing myself pretty much), assault, harassment, stalking (not bad), romance (somehow), Maybe stockholm syndrome???

Word Count: 2.6k words

A/N: Goddamn let’s see how to pull this one off. I’m just dragging a bunch of my old dirt and making it 10x worse here haha. 

Hamartia

~ The word hamartia refers to a flaw or mistake that leads to a fictional character's downfall. Classical tragedies revolve around the main character's hamartia, the tragic flaw that sets a series of disastrous events in motion. Achilles' heel was his hamartia – his fatal flaw. 

-

-

      You grasped the man’s chin, your leather glove staining with warm blood. The man was tied to a chair, his legs and arms bound in a way you knew to be uncomfortably tight. His eyes were blindfolded, mouth gagged. Your eyes narrowed as you used the non bloody gloved hand to push some hair out of your eyes. Watching the man squirm was something that made you smile. Of course, part of you knew that inside you had been all screwed up. The old you would have started crying seeing the joy in your eyes. The joy of watching someone suffer. You felt zero sympathy towards those suffering. It was more of a learned behavior, if anything. You had decided that if this was your job in the mafia, then you should not only be the best, but also find pleasure in it. So that led you here; to this massive power trip. Everyone expected the most feared interrogator to be some man with a bald head and muscles. Instead they got this; some 20 year old girl with leather gloves permanently stained with blood. These gloves had been used by you for every job since the first one. In the beginning it was to trick yourself into thinking that these hands, the ones with the gloves, were not yours. Now, they were a sense of pride. 

“Tell me, mr. Joh,” You began, your voice sweet like honey, and just as slow as you undid his gag. “Why did you...” You thought for the right wording. It wasn’t just about getting them to say something, then you could be here for hours, no, it was also about asking the right questions. “Why did you betray our drug ring in Daegu?” start with the big question, then continue smaller when the hostage was difficult, as expected.

When the man didn’t answer, you clicked your tongue. Physical pain was all the rage in the industry when it came to getting information, but you always believed it to be the mental. That’s what made you different. You understood mental strain all too well. It wasn’t as apparent, but it had a higher rate of damage over a long period of time. You licked your lips. 

“Not very talkative, hm? Alright. I’ll go check on another guest.” You had a sadistic smirk on your face as you removed his blindfold, replaced the gag, and shut off the lights. The room was pitch black, not even a speck of light to be seen. That was the thing. A person wouldn’t be able to tell if they had their eyes open or not, it something was moving, if something was in there...watching them. 

You set your watch for three hours. That was an ample amount of time. Besides, you could tell he was going to be a goner without too much struggle. You were also glad you had asked Yoongi to make the walls soundproof in this wing of the base, it was extremely annoying to listen to screaming when you were trying to rest. 

Next, you slipped a door over. Your partner, Jimin, was busy with the young woman inside. She whimpered to be set free. You could tell she thought Jimin was you. If she thought this was bad--boy was she in for a surprise when you would start. Instead, you started your deceiving game. Jimin knew what you were doing the second you timidly opened the door. This was just another mind game. 

“Y-Y/N! What are you doing?!” You feigned innocence, rushing to the distressed hostage. She sobbed, looking at you with pleading eyes. 

“P-Please-” The woman could barely get a word in through her sobs. An evil part of you enjoyed it. The other part stayed silent. “Please you have to help me.” 

Once you had sufficiently calmed her down, you snapped your fingers, signalling Jimin to leave. 

“If you thought Jimin was bad, you’re going to hate this.” Your tongue grazed over your teeth as you tried to withhold a smirk. You had went from innocent girl to monster in a matter of seconds. The realization in this woman’s eyes was like heroine. You wanted more. You had wanted more since that first time. “You’re such a pretty thing. A shame that’s about to be ruined.” You leaned in, nose grazing her neck. Then you quickly pulled away as she continued her sobs. 

“Why are you doing this?! To save your own skin? Are you selfish?” The woman burst out, her lips trembling. “Selfish for your own life?” 

You could understand why she thought you were forced to do this. Once upon a time, yes. You hadn’t wanted to go down this path, but you had no family left and this had started becoming a second home. It was during training for this exact thing, but you had always been selfish. You had indeed saved your own skin. However, even now, Yoongi would ask if you still wanted to be doing this. You always said yes. After all, now you were his right hand man and he trusted you far more than anyone else. 

Your eyes bore into hers. 

“Don’t you know? Being selfish has always been my flaw. And right now, I’ll be selfish and indulge in one of my favorite activities.” You went and sat on the edge of the metal table in the corner of the room. You were so light- you couldn’t sleep and you barely ate, that’s just how you lived. Perhaps it came with the job. You fiddled with some buttons on the wall until you got the settings right. 

“Would you like some water?”

The rasp of the woman’s response was enough for you to know. 

“Good.” as you spoke, a single drop of water hit the woman’s brow, slowly sliding down into her eye. “I’ll be going now, toodles.” You said, almost innocently. 

-

-

“Yoongi wants to see you.” Jimin spoke as you entered the hallway. You glanced at your watch. You still had an hour before the man needed to be checked up on. 

“Fine, but it needs to be snappy.” You grumbled, grabbing a black jacket off the hooks at the end of the hallway. You wore black leggings, a gray shirt (White showed far too much blood) and a black, jean, jacket. You walked briskly up the stairs from the basement and into the base’s old file room. It was old and only ever used for the dusty passageway to the basement. It was built before there were computer backups. Jimin kept a fast pace behind you as you rounded the corner and went out into the main room. It was bustling with trainees on a lunch break. The room hushed ever so slightly when you walked past. You were feared and the rumors that flew around the room may or may not be true. 

“I bet she burned someone alive once.” There was a whisper, more audible than the rest.  You grinned slightly, slowing and speaking loud enough from everyone to hear. 

“It wasn’t just once darling, and I don’t do it anymore. It takes weeks to rid the building of the smell.” There was dead silence, your boots making a loud banging nose as you climbed up the metal stairs.

 Unlike the sub level where the trainees trained, the upstairs ground level was a brilliant facade. It was a huge mansion on the outskirts of Seoul, of course the first floor was to be lavish. The higher ups slept in this mansion. The trainees left through underground passages to get back to their dorms which were still underground on the property. You opened the latch with ease, nimble fingers undoing the simple metal bar. It was there so when guests came, they would never find out their little secret. of course, everyone knew Yoongi was the head honcho, not someone to be messed with, but groups from all over had been obsessed trying to find the training facilities for them. The groups figured they could stop the entire base of operations from the beginning. As you can see, it failed miserably each time. 

You checked your watch again. You didn’t want to keep Yoongi waiting and you supposed the hostage could wait a little longer. It wasn’t like they meant anything to you. 

As you climbed yet another flight of stairs, you found yourself annoyed at how much effort was needed to reach the laziest man you knew. At the end of the intimidating hallway lay a set of imposing dark oak doors. They were decorated with menacing rot iron markings and black iron knockers in the form of snakes. The tongues came out of the beasts, the ring acting like a piercing on the snakes’ tongues. You knocked on the doors, tapping your foot impatiently. 

On the outside of the house, it would look huge, yes, but you would also notice a rounded roof off to the side of one end of the house. It stood tall and on its own, yet attached to the house. That separate building was entirely Yoongi’s office. Extravagant, yes, but you knew it was a tactic to intimidate rivals. You could never be intimidated by him. 

“Come in.” The voice sounded lazy. Before you stepped in, you glanced behind you. 

“Jimin, when my watch hits zero you go question Mr. Joh, if that doesn’t work, you know what to do.” 

He nodded and walking away hastily as the watch was counting down seemingly faster than normal. You watched him leave. Then you slipped inside wordlessly. Yoongi stared at you, his eye examining your face. Your cheek was wet. Before he could ask, you answered quickly. 

“Hostage wouldn’t stop crying, must’ve rubbed off on me.” You said bluntly. 

“Ah.” Then his eyes traveled to your hands. “I thought I told you not to wear those dirty gloves in here. They stink of blood and remind me...never mind.” 

When he trailed off, you nodded, acknowledging your rough past with him. Well, actually it wasn’t rough at all...it was, it was sweet. And it’s also part of the reason you understood yourself a selfish person now. It wasn’t even to get back at him anymore, you just accepted it as it was. You quickly slipped off the gloves, placing them neatly in your pocket. 

“Sit.” You did as he said, plopping unceremoniously onto a leather seat, your right leg dangled off the side. His jaw tensed, seeing how care free you were. It still amazed him how you tortured people and yet smiled as if nothing was the matter. 

The pale man sighed, combing his hand through his hair. 

“Y/N,” 

“Yes?”

“We’re getting a very special guest tonight. He should be here by midnight if all goes well. I want you to take care of him, get me as much information on him. Even the smallest things, I don’t care. He is key to the newest rising mafia’s great success recently. I have his file.” Yoongi spoke drawn out, but snappy, liking to get all the information out at once. God forbid you interrupt him. You expected a large case file. Usually it would have details about that person’s life. Even the smallest thing could be useful. So it was much to your surprise when you got a manila folder with one sheet of paper in it. You slowly took out the paper. Your eyebrows scrunched up as you stared at his portrait. He was a handsome man with strong features. You pulled more of the paper out now. 

“Yoongi.” 

“Yes?” 

“What the hell am I supposed to do with this?” 

The file was blank. Completely blank, save his portrait. How could someone be so mysterious? You knew that your gang had the best hackers around. How come they couldn’t find anything except this photo of him? 

“Well, that’s why you’re here. We need more information.” He eyed you carefully. 

“Fine. But I can’t promise results.” 

“I know.” His lips perked up ever so slightly. You rolled your eyes in disgust. You knew that smile. In fact, you knew every piece of him, every intimate part of his body, what he liked, what he didn’t, as did he. You could tell he must be thinking the same thing. “You’re dismissed.” He knew he couldn’t trust himself around you still. 

You left in an annoyed huff and stormed back down to the basement. 

-

-

You grabbed some salt on your way from the kitchen. Then you shoved Jimin aside once you got down to the basement. He had been carefully carving the man’s back with an intricate design of the gang’s symbol; a bulletproof vest. You admired his clean lines, despite the moans of pain from the man and blood that pooled on his back. You pulled out your gloves and got to work, quite literally putting salt in the wound. As you absent minded-ly made the man scream in agony, you pondered how to get into this mysterious man’s head. You hated that you were so good at what you did, that you were assigned an enigma such as the man that would be drug in like an animal tonight. Jimin could tell you were upset about something, but he didn’t pry and left the room without a second thought. 

-

-

It was midnight and you waited. It was 1 A.M. and you waited. This was taking longer than usual. Then you heard the door slam open behind you. You had been waiting in the interrogation room for him. Jimin dragged in his body. 

“What took so long?” You sniffed. 

“Sorry, he wasn’t responding to the dosage of sleeping medicine I gave him so I had to up the dosage a lot more until he was compelled under.” Jimin explained, a tired expression on his face. He ran his hand over his face and sighed. 

“Great, now he’ll be under for a while.”

“yup, and I’m heading to bed.” Jimin yawned, not caring to help you tie him up as he left. You rolled your eyes and tied the man up. Perhaps it was your pride, but you enjoyed have a victim wake up to see your face staring right back at you. Usually they were startled, but this time it was you as you looked up to find him staring at you, expressionless. 

“Who are you?” His voice was gruff and low. 

“Now now,” You shook off the initial shock quickly and adorned an almost angelic smile. “I’m the one that’s going to be asking the questions here.” You crouched, looking up at him. Your elbows rested on your knees, displaying the bloodied leather gloves. He glanced down, took note of the blood, and swallowed. It was a detail anyone but you would’ve missed. That hesitation. You stood up and grabbed a dangerously curved knife from the wall. 

“So why don’t we start with you telling me what your name is?” You prompted, your voice ticking up as if you were a caring teacher. He looked around, though seemingly unfazed. 

“Kim Taehyung.” He said after a while. You nodded and wrote it down on a crisp sheet of paper, careful not to get any of Mr. Joh’s blood on it. 

“Mr. Kim, you are an honored guest here. If you need anything, let me know. Until then,” You chuckled a little. “Enjoy your stay.” 

-

-

-

Please please please let me know if I should continue this series! 

I’ve always found it easier to reach the links when reading if they’re down here

Prologue | Part 1 

[third-rail-vip]

fic writer interview

Tagged by @adventuresofmeghatron

I’m late so you’ve probably already done this but tagging:  @laurelsofhighever  @tanaleth  @asaara-writes  @allisondraste  @pchberrytea  @red-hot-chili-tiefling

Thank you for tagging me!  Sorry it’s taken me forever, my imposter syndrome has been laughing loudly in my face at the idea of being considered a ‘writer’.  Please, come in, sit down and have a look see at my complete lack of process or general idea of what’s going on :) 

Name:  Ginger

Fandoms:  Fallout 4 currently.  Dragon Age a while back.

Where you post:  I put all my full fics on AO3 and if it’s a shorter one then I post the whole thing here on tumblr too.  If it’s giant then I post a snippet here with a link to AO3.

Most Popular One-shot:  Based on kudos The Wanderers - yeah i’m surprised too.  It was my first venture back into writing after taking time out and it was a whole new fandom and a game I was new to.  It was a fun silly little exercise in me learning my new otp and working out their fairly early days dynamic.

By comments, it’s Complicated.  I’d had that one in mind for a while before writing it (probably why it took 4 rewrites before it felt how I wanted it to).  It’s a good bit of post-feral encounter wound tending and hurt/comfort with some feels starting up (or becoming harder to deny).

Most Popular Multichap:  I don’t have any multichapter fics any more.  Once upon a time I had a Dragon Age Origins one.  I’m not good at the commitment of multichapter.  I made it 14 chapters into that one and it took me so long to drag myself out of Lothering I took it out back and shot it.

My Fallout one shots are part of an ongoing series - Then I Met You - which is a series of snapshots of Ivy and MacCready relationship (it’s still in pre-relationship stages right now).  It’s mostly character driven rather than main plot driven, but it does fit within the fallout 4 canon with some backstory and timeline canon divergence.

Favourite story you’ve written so far:  You know what, it’s my least popular Fallout one, but I have a soft spot for Blood & Rain.  It’s the second one I wrote and it’s Ivy’s pov with a hint at her pre-war life (she’s a non-canon origin sole survivor).  I got to indulge myself in writing descriptions and some action - my old faves from when I used to write (pew pew is way harder to write than stab stab).  It’s also got a really important bonding moment between Ivy and MacCready.

Fic you were nervous to post:  Every damn one.  Sharing anything you’ve made really is putting a little piece of your heart out on a platter for everyone to see and waiting to see what will happen to it.   I guess The Wanderers was extra nerve wracking because it was the first thing I wrote after telling myself I’d never go back to writing, it was kind of a make or break experiment.  Blood & Rain because of the potentially triggering material, hoping I’d touched personal subjects with enough sensitivity but also still telling the story I needed to.  

How do you choose your titles:  hahahaha WELL, I finish faffing with the main story in AO3 and then am outraged that I’m expected to have a name ready before I can post it.  Honestly though, I’ve no formula.  They all have working titles in google docs which tend to be either a vague description of what’s happening, or a song title/lyric that’s running through my head while I write.  Like, the current fic I’m working on is ‘mass pike pt 2’ which is a useless title since the part 1 was actually called Gunners & Grudges.  And I won’t know until posting day what I’m going to call it.  

I did put some serious thought into a title for my series - Then I Met You.  I was cycling through song lyrics or things that might be a general vibe for them but settled back on one line from MacCready’s final affinity chat, “then I met you”. And it just fit so well.  Meeting each other is a turning point for both of them; whether you just look at it as making a friend in the wasteland, or finding some direction after drifting for too long, or there finally being a glimmer of hope after a long time in the dark (this all counts for both of them), something changed when they met.  

Do you outline:  Sort of.  I have a massive ‘fallout notes’ document where i just jot down whenever i have an idea of something i want to write, or just random bits of dialogue that spring into my mind (that may never see the light of day again).  From there, if I want to expand them I tend to bullet point with plot ideas, more dialogue, key backstory or important things I want to cover.  I tend to have multiple fics I’m doing this with at once and I bounce between them depending on where my mind has drifted off to that day.  By the time I actually come to write something, I tend to have a lot of notes to work from, in fact quite often I have to cut back on all the ideas I wanted to cram in and some things get slotted back into the giant fallout doc for future reference.

Complete:  I only have one shots, so technically they’re all complete and can be read, for the most part, individually without you needing to have read the others.  They will make sense, there might just be some context from previous one shots in there.

In progress:  Then I Met You is an ongoing series for my Mac x Ivy one shots.

Prompts?:  I do put prompt list out there for Mac x Ivy when my brain isn’t cooperating and I feel like a need a little extra inspiration.  For the current series I’m hoarding them and working them into the context one shots I have planned.  Pretty much all my Dragon Age Origins one shots over on AO3 were prompt fills.

Upcoming work you’re most excited about:  Ugh guys we’re getting close to them getting together territory and boy do I wish my brain was being cooperative so I could get these couple of stories in between down on the page and could start working in earnest on those ones.  There’s a lazy morning in bed after a big party fic I’m really looking forward to writing (I’m looking forward to both tbh) - any excuse to explore stories behind scars and tattoos and I’m there for it.  I’m even getting a commission from the amazing @tarberrymentats  for it *discord wiggle*, so yeah, I’m excited about getting to that one!

Anyway thank you for reading my ramblings x