#she's gonna break ur fuckin ankles!!!

[hopesburned]

        “   ‘ey   ,   mista   !!   knock me again an’ i’ll break yer’ fuckin’ ankles   !!   “                                                             @syntaktis​ 

[fictional-worlds-are-exquisite]

i am very much enjoying my vague void! it's currently blasting hozier at full volume and that's almost louder than my internal screaming (don't worry, everything is fine, i just saw a spider)

i've never once in my life have followed a recipe correctly. all of my measurements are completely random and whatever happens happens. it is no longer in my hands. whatever eldritch entities exist take the wheel. and i absolutely refuse to spell anything in english without autocorrect because y'all have way too many double letters and random vowel placement

thank you! sadly, i won't have a break right now, because we just had christmas vacations, but the start of the new semester is always pretty chill. and you're absolutely right, i should take up necromancy! the snow and the cold will add to my mysterious vibes. i just need to get a big black cape with a hood to complete the aesthetic

i definitely picture everything above 5'6 feet as the same height. 5'7 and 6'2? the exact same thing. no difference here

how is morepork a real bird name. it's just... more pork? but the bird is magnificent. i completely approve of your first order as bird queen, not that you need approval from mere peasants like me, but it's a great order. ohhh salps look really cool, and it does look a lot like it! when you said boob implant i thought of mermaids and them using salps as boob implants but then i realised wait wouldn't jellyfish be better for that? because of their shape? ignoring their little leggies they're quite boob shaped, no? and then i realised that i was thinking about mermaids and alive boob implants... if i had to think it, you have to read it. i'm sorry

i was sold before but now i'm even more sure that i want to hire you. and I'll make sure to have lactose free cheese for the backflips (unless you want the lactose version? i'm not judging). will the biting of ankles cost extra?

that sounds like a brilliant set-up for a horror movie where they kill off all the children one by one. it's absolutely horrifying. if something like that would've happened to me i would've most likely just passed out. whatever happens afterwards is not my problem. and now i really don't want to know what the hell your leg was caught on because that seems like knowledge that would get me killed

ah so you're a fellow dirt eater? according to my mom my favourite thing to do outside when i was a little kid used to be eating sand. just shovelling handfuls of it into my mouth and crying when my mom made me spit it out. which i refuse to believe. if there are no photos it didn't happen

you warm climate people are starting to make me think that i'm better adjusted to the cold than i thought i am! it's either that or our buildings are better heated. i definitely don't know if anyone else calls hot water bottled hotties but i like it so from now on i'm using it

that's so cute! i was clearly a way more selfish child because when i found any amount of money i just kept it and bought candy as soon as i could. i clearly couldn't save money then and i can't now. we have stores like that (or i'm assuming that they're like that solely based on how they sell lollies) and they used to be my favourite thing because you could get so many lollies for such a small price!! and my mom even used to let me order for myself sometimes so i always felt like a very big girl jsjshsbsjk

also the fact that i can't send pictures on anon is a crime (yes i know why and it's good that that's not possible because can you imagine anons being able to send pictures? oh no is all i have to say about it) but anyways. because i have this one super cursed photo that reminded me of you and now i can't share it :((

duuuuude, sick void bro. sounds like a vibing void. I feel like I haven’t seen a spider in awhile. Other than daddy long legs. But they’re chill. They mind their own business. 

I nearly always follow recipes exactly. My mum is like oh cook this for about 7 minutes? Yeah sure. I’ll take a wild guess. I’m like they say exactly 7 minutes so I’ll set a timer for 7 minutes and start a stopwatch so if it does seem to need more than 7 I can keep an eye on the extra time and be aware of exactly how long it takes me for next time. Other people are like oh let's see I have [lists 5-10 things in their fridge], hmm...oh I know what I could make with that! I’m like I have beans in my freezer because one recipe required them and no other recipes I know how to make do so what am I supposed to do with these now,,, this is stressful,,, basically I barely know how to cook and recipes are the only things saving me in that area. That is entirely fair. Except for the fuck duck, and murder is not the word you want surely, situations, it’s pretty helpful.

Ohhh I see. At least the start is chill! For a little! Before your entire situation spirals out of hand and you’re behind in every class and it’s taken you a whole day to read 10 pages and you’re exhausted and it’s only week 2. Just me? ok. fair. anyway. I want a cloak so bad. One of my uni friends tempted me to class because she said she was wearing a cloak so my depressed ass honest to god dragged myself out of bed and to said class just to see it. It was worth it. They’re incredible. Everyone should own a big cloak for the aesthetic.

I’m glad it isn’t just me hahaha. I can visualise my own height in feet but everything else is just the same size that is a vague amount taller than me, mentally.

It’s also known as the ruru. But the name morepork amuses me. It’s named after the call it makes haha. It does sound like it’s asking for more pork if you know to listen for that. thank u for ur approval, it means a lot, turns out becoming bird queen didn’t ACTUALLY get rid of my anxiety disorder weirdly enough so validation is great! lmaooo. What if the jellyfish stung them tho? At least salps wouldn’t do you dirty like that. The mermaids would just look like there are hundreds of bugs crawling around in their boobs, flesh shifting as they float around. Which is a vibe. If you’re into that. Jellyfish WOULD make a more solid, single, implant, some of them are definitely boob shaped. But that’s kinda boring no one’s gonna be traumatised by that. Salps on the other hand...yeah, that sight will DEFINITELY traumatise someone.

To be PERFECTLY honest I haven’t done a backflip in years but for lactose-free cheese? Dude. I’ll be going back to training. Gonna be the best backflip you’ve ever seen. As long as it’s not Tasty cheese I am content, but lactose free IS better. The biting of ankles will not cost extra, it is a pleasure to be allowed to do that.

Oh it absolutely would be. It’d be very funny if it reached the wider world bc people would probably be like ok but who would send kids into the bush like that,, it’s an odd concept. meanwhile everyone who grew up in nz is gonna be like y’all, you’re not gonna fuckin BELIEVE what i experienced growing up, it’s real dude. On one hand, I feel like murdering kids in a movie is questionable, on the other hand, It exists, so maybe people would be down for it. I feel like it’d be a good concept even if it wasn’t murdery tho. Like psychological horror? I’m not sure if I’m using that category correctly I don’t watch much horror. A kid following the rope but then being shifted into a different horror dimension but they never take the blindfold off because their teachers said not to and they’d probably have to let go of the rope to do it...I feel like this could work super well as a short film. The viewers see everything. The child just knows something is off and no one is coming when they call for help. I am so down for this. I also do not want to know what my leg was caught on. Some things I am better off not knowing.

yes! I am a fellow dirt eater! We had a sandpit at home (that’s a little bold. It was a large plastic shell that my parents filled with sand. technically a sandpit. but not fancy sdflsdkfsdf) but I don’t think I ever tried to eat it. Then again, I possibly did and just don’t remember because there’s no photo evidence of that one. I’d have to ask my parents sdfhsjdfs, I would however fully believe them if they said yes. it’s very characteristic of me. I don’t doubt it for a second. muuuum that’s my emotional support sand don’t make me spit it out smh the disrespect these days.

Oh I’m absolutely terrible even by most people’s standards around here when it comes to cold and hot temperatures. I remember sitting in the sun in my school shirt and school jersey in summer on a blazing day like it’s a bit chilly, isn’t it? Meanwhile my friends were in the shade absolutely dying from the heat. Likewise in winter I’d be shivering, teeth chattering, dying with my long sleeve thermal, my school shirt, my school jersey, my school jacket, my longs, warm socks and sneakers and gloves and school scarf while ppl would be walking around in a shirt and shorts like it’s a bit warm this winter huh? my body didn’t learn how to thermoregulate and it shows. But yeah NZ does also have a reputation for shittily insulated buildings and such. It shows. skhdfsfs if it’s not common use maybe don’t say can i have a hotty to someone without context but otherwise go ahead lmao. it’s a fun shortened version.

I was typically a very good saver, to the point where my extended family started gifting me gift cards and vouchers for Christmas and my birthday because if they just gave me money I’d put it in my bank account to save towards uni once I hit like, 12 years old. Which I think was a smart move. But apparently, I’m supposed to buy myself ‘something nice’ with it. I think I’m still an okay saver but I’m not as strict anymore. I’m aware of how much I can spare and I’m not just like you can never get anything for yourself ever, so I do get lil things for myself sometimes. oooo yay! At least you know what I mean. But yes. They were the gold mine for lollies. Absolutely terrific stores. My mum would be like hey lindsey how about you order? And I’d be like mother, I am 7 years old and I have an undiagnosed anxiety disorder everyone assumes is child shyness why would you think I would want to do that. Instead I will whisper my choices to you. After therapy tho I felt pretty rad for picking my own lollies by myself. I was like 13 at that point but sdfkjhsdf listen I got there in the end.

sdfkjsdfkjhsdf I like that a cursed photo reminded you of me. That’s all I need to hear. Tumblr said no anon dick pics but they also said no anon cursed photos either,,, very sad. for the latter part. the first part thank god. If I could turn on photos on anon I absolutely would just to see this but I don’t think I can :(

[casualhottubnacho]

an excerpt from a chatfic i'm writing

Twitter

Hammer and Dickle {√}

@USSR

@Japan 3 am, 7/11 parking lot, boring, oregon, usa, bring your battle axe and a box of matches, be fully prepared to meet god face-to-face.

Viewing Comments:

neeneepapa @oksweaty

@USSR the owner of this account: *brandon rogers voice* Donovan! Meet me on my island at 5 O'clock. Pack my battleaxe and my poetry and be prepared to abandon your religion.

ugh @lordie

@USSR okay but why tf did they pick boring oregon of all places.

sit on my face @lickmybaugette

@USSR vibe check

Furry @Japan

@USSR why do i need matches. also if ur not actually there and i just spent money on a plane ticket i stg im gonna break your teeth

[Image: A crisp picture of the clouds and deep twilight sky outside of a plane window.]

│

│ Hammer and Dickle @USSR

│@Japan you need matches because we're going to set our weapons on fire like civilized people. im bringing the gasoline. meri is gonna spectate. also.

[Image: A slightly blurry image- The photographer was clearly laughing- of a man in a heavy winter coat squatting underneath a "Welcome to Boring, Oregon" sign. His skin is bright red, and an eyepatch with a hammer and sickle is over his right eye. His hand is below his waist, making an "Okay" sign.]

│

│ Furry @Japan

│@USSR I don't trust him to spectate. he'll probably be biased towards you, smh.

│

│ Homosexual Homosapien @America

│@Japan girl no. beat his ass please and thank u.

Furry {√}

@Japan

they didn't let me bring my battleaxe on the plane smh. anyone know of any... like... battle axe stores in oregon,,, or,,,,

Viewing Comments

errebody @rockyobody

@Japan i gotchu fam. there's a store in kelso (near boring) that sells antique weapons and junk. im sure there's a battle axe in there somewhere

│

│ Furry @Japan

│@rockyobody there better be. im coming for you if there isnt

│

│ errebody @rockyobody

│@Japan gay fear

Someone Please Snipe Me {√}

@Germany

In honor of my friend @Japan going to fight one of my least favorite people in the world, I have opted to pressure her into live-streaming her Totally Radical Super Cool™ Fight on Twitch. Uhhhh here's a link I guess: Link

Viewing Comments

Furry @Japan

@Germany "pressure" is right. little rat said he'd send his boyfriend after me if i didn't do what i wanted. i would like to keep my ankles, so i complied.

│

│ Kurwa @Poland

│@Japan I hate you too boo xoxo

Furry {√}

@Japan

insert funny text here

[Images: The first image is of the "Welcome to Boring, Oregon" sign. The second image is off a pair of black sneakers kicking a pair of footprints in the dirt underneath the sign. The third image is of a woman in a full black outfit -Black shoes, black jeans, black hoodie, and black beanie- sitting on the ground in the same spot where the man from earlier was. Both middle fingers are straight up, though there is a wide grin on her face.]

~~~~~~~~~

[A Twitch stream comes to life. On the screen, a pair of black-sneaker-covered feet is quickly striding down a paved road. "Kon'nichiwa," A high-pitched voice begins, "And welcome to... Hell." The camera flicks upwards sharply, showing a neon-lit 7/11 gas station, sharply outlined against the pitch-black night sky. There are only two cars in the parking lot. One is a dirty red convertible Jeep in the employee's area; The other is a nondescript black car with the headlights still on and the engine still running.

The camera flips views. We're now met with a worm's-eye view of a snowy white face with a single red circle in the center. Bright yellow eyes sparkle with mirth as the woman fights back a grin. "So, for anyone who isn't aware, here's a summary of what's about to go down. My name is Japan, I'm an anthropomorphic country, and I'm about to absolutely destroy one of my fellow nations. Well, he's not a nation anymore, but still. He called me a name in the group chat, so I called him Old Man, so he took the obvious route and challenged me to a duel in a 7/11 parking lot. Ya'know, like you do."

Japan shakes her head and giggles. "Also, thank you oh so very much, Twitter user "rockyobody", for informing me of the antique weaponry shop in Kelso. They did indeed carry battle-axes." To punctuate her statement, Japan reaches over her shoulder and lifts the weapon attached to her back out of its holder by a few inches. "I have dubbed my newfound traveling companion Jerry, and he will take many a life in his time on this Earth."

A new voice cuts through the autumn air, strong and deep. "Did you bring the matches, девочка?" They demand. Japan changes the camera once again. Leaning against the black car are two men- One is short and chunky, with round cheeks and long, fluffy hair. 7 red stripes and 6 white, broken only by a square of blue dotted with stars, are emblazed on his face. A white hoodie with the words Designated Peacekeeper is quickly thrown onto him when he sees Japan approach. He flashes her a smile and raises one hand in a wave.

The other man is incredibly tall, almost unnaturally so. A long, military green winter coat hangs loosely from his body- It obviously used to fit him a lot better, maybe when he was wider, or more muscular. His face is scarred and weather-beaten, a leather eyepatch over his right eye. A hammer and sickle, golden and gleaming, sits neatly in the center of the leather. A fluffy brown ushanka is slightly lopsided on his head.

"Well?" He questions. He was the one who spoke before; A harsh accent cuts through his words.

Japan responds by raising a small box of matches in front of the camera. "I gotch'yo damn matches, 老人." She snarks back. The taller man raises a single eyebrow and pushes himself off of the car. "'Meri, pop the trunk," He demands. 'Meri', looking taken aback, steps away from the car and crosses his arm. "Do it'cha self, ya lazy bastard."

Despite the insults, his companion gives him a warm smile and slips around the back of the car. Japan joins them in the parking lot before he comes back around. "So, Ame, he really managed to rope you into moderating this?" She gestures to his hoodie. He chuckles light-heartedly and nods. "Yeah. You wouldn't believe the things he told me when I originally declined."

Japan snorts. "I can believe a lot of things, America."

"At first it was the regular bouts of loving insults, but then it dissolved into really weird nicknames."

"Like?"

"Like 'My little biscuit and gravy'."

"...What?"

America just laughs and waves away the question. "What's taking you so long, sugah?" He drawls, twisting at an odd angle to lean back and glance at the trunk of the car. There's a moment of silence before the man he's addressing mutters, "My... weapon... maybe a bit stuck."

Japan and America both giggle to each other for a few heartbeats before America cooes, "Does this mean we're going home, dear?" The slightly angry response is immediate. "Absolutely not, дорогой," The man spits, appearing at Japan's shoulder. "'Proper edicit', as you so often say, dictates that, as the man who called for the duel, I am not allowed to back out, even if my sword is stuck in the trunk."

"You made me bring a whole fuckin' axe when you get a sword? Sov, my good man, you are an ass."

'Sov' chortles and pats Japan on the head. "Such is life, девочка. You would have an unfair advantage if I let you bring what you wanted. You have no experience with a battle-axe; I have no experience with a sword. It is therefore a fair fight." He ruffles her hair a bit before turning back to America. "In all seriousness, the sword is probably tearing up the fabric on the inside of your trunk." He announces. America swears in a few different languages as he sprints to the other end of his car.

There's a small chime as the door to the 7/11 opens. A pimple-faced teenager peeks his head out. "Hey, uhm- I have no idea what's happening right now, but, uh... I don't think you guys are allowed to have weapons on the property." He nods towards America, who's struggling to rip the sword of out the spot where it's lodged itself in his trunk.

Japan quirks a brow and crosses her arms. Her phone goes a bit lopsided as she does so. "Oh?" Is all she says. She could possibly look intimidating, but the effect, evidently, isn't very strong, as the teen gives her an unamused look. "Yeah. I could possibly over-look that fact if you guys were to, like... scare away any customers who try to approach for a little bit, though..." He trails off and slips back inside the store. Japan scoffs. "Rude."

There's a loud yell of "Fuck!" from the next to where America should be- He's currently on the ground, a sword in his lap. "You're paying for the repairs to my poor car," He snaps, gesturing to the bits of fabric stuck to the sword's blade. Sov's face softens a bit. "I was planning on doing just that," He remarks, moving to help America to his feet. The Westerner blows a bit of hair out of his face once he's on his feet. "This had better be worth it."

"Oh, it will be," Sov says, the steely look returning to him. He picks up the blade clumsily and holds it with clear inexperience. America sighs softly and squeezes his eyes shut for just a moment. "God, this is gonna be hard to watch. You can't even hold the sword right." 

Sov looks confused. "There's a wrong way to hold a sword?"

"There's a wrong way to do everything, hon."

Japan grins with a sickly-sweetness and sets her phone onto a newspaper box, positioning it to take in the whole parking lot. She steps onto the far right, Sov standing opposite her on the other side. America scurries over to in-between the gas pumps, a chunk of fabric tied to a stick clutched in his hand. "Alright, I want to see a fuckin' dirty fight," He begins, looking first at Japan, then at Sov. "Frickin' bite each other if you have to. I want to see some blood. Japan, you marked your stream as mature, right?"

"Uh..."

"Dumbass, go do that."

Japan reluctantly complies, marching over to her phone. "Alright, I'm gonna stop the stream and start up a new one marked mature. If you want to watch the actual fight, you'll need to go to that one. See you in a few seconds, lads."

The stream ends]

[A new stream opens up on the parking lot again. Japan is back in her original spot, standing rather cockily, her arms crossed behind her back, her spine straight, slightly tip-toed. America clears his throat. "Alright, like I said earlier- Dirty fight. Nothing is illegal, aside from injuring anyone or anything that isn't your opponent. That includes me, the 7/11 worker, an animal that passes by, a gas pump, a tire on a car, anything."

"Fighters, get ready."

Japan suddenly smirks and slips the battle-axe into her hands with ease. "It was bold of you to assume I had no experience with a battle-axe before, Sov." She comments, getting into an offensive stance. Sov goes slack for a moment before resuming his own way of standing with renewed vigor. "...This is fine," He mutters distractedly. Japan's grin only widens.

"And... Go!"

America flicks his flag down, and the fight begins. Japan shoots forward first, swinging in a downward slope towards Sov's legs. Sov jumps backward and jolts his arms into action, barely managing to block Japan's next move. He starts to loudly swear to himself as he continued to struggle to go on the defensive, cursing himself, the ground, the sky, Japan, and even America. "Сукин сын!" He yelps as Japan spins on her heel, around him, and cuts through the fabric of his coat, through to his thigh. The green starts to turn red as the wound begins to bleed.

Sov just shrugs off the coat and tosses it aside. Underneath, he's wearing a black turtleneck and dark grey jeans, as well as black leather boots that stop just below his knees. America lets out a low whistle.

Japan laughs a bit and starts to jog backwards, towards her original spot. "Bad move, 老人," She snarks. Sov growls a bit and bolts after her. She slips past each of his swings like sand through someone's fingers, leading him in a circle before booking it back towards America's car. The Westerner yelps in fear for his vehicle, but Japan emerges from behind it not a moment later, a jug of gasoline in her hands. She runs away from the parking lot and out into the darkness.

"Мошенника!" Sov yells, coming to a stop. He stands there for a moment, panting, before a bright flash from the opposite end of the parking lot has him spinning and raising his sword in defense. Japan appears in the black, her weapon now (quite literally) dripping with flames as she spits on a match and puts it out. "Let's get this party started," She hisses, hefting her axe. The flaming gasoline seems to not affect her as she grips the blazing handle and charges at Sov.

Her opponent stumbles in an attempt to get away, cursing in an odd mix of English, Russian, and, occasionally, Chinese, almost dropping his weapon with how quickly he's attempting to block her attacks.

"Y'know," Japan chokes out, beads of sweat running down her skin, causing her hair to stick to the back of her neck, "I'm glad I put my phone on silent beforehand. If- If it was on vibrate, I can imagine it would have vibrated off of the stand by now."She finishes her sentence with a grunt and her axe makes contact with Sov's arm, causing the man to let out a small noise of pain. Japan wretches herself back, tripping over her own feet from the weight of the weapon. "Fuck, fuck, fuck," Sov mutters, clutching at his arm in an attempt to stop the bleeding. Japan smirks. "Had enough?"

"You wish, Potter," America chuckles to himself.

"What is this, a porno?" Sov spits.

Japan starts to giggle as she momentarily drops her axe. "God, this is tiring, I haven't fought anyone in a while."

Sov makes an attempt to lift his sword, but gasps as his wounded arm seizes up. "Shit, Japan- Okay. We're both tired. I'm bleeding out of my ass and my arm. Are- Will you hold it against me if I... Surrender, I suppose? I'm far too old and sick for this."

Japan stands in silence for a few seconds before sighing heavily and nodding. She plops down onto the ground rather suddenly, squeezing her eyes shut. "I won't hold it against you."

"Good," Sov grunts, sitting down as well. America pauses before letting out a long, dramatic groan and waving his flag. "Fight's over, I suppose," He whines, marching over to Sov. "That was anti-climactic as balls," He mutters as soon as he's close enough to his friend. Sov nods distractedly. "Indeed it was. Be glad she didn't kill me- Then you'd have to explain a dead body to the poor boy in the store."

"Oh yeah. I forgot about him."

"Hah, same."

The rest of the stream passes in relative silence as Japan sits on the pavement to rest. America is bandaging Sov's arm, muttering insults as well as cutesy nicknames as he does so. After around ten or so minutes of mostly nothing, Japan slides her gaze over to her phone, makes a small noise of surprise, hauls herself to her feet, strides over, and ends the stream.]

[kpopstanmemes-blog]

mag and yoong

This is for my fuking Wife Maggie but if you want you can enjoy aswell…😒 Also this will use HARSH LANGAUGE if ur not into that then leave goodbye have nice day(+ - +) ALSO THE TIME IN THE STORY IS IN 2024 and yoongi is 24 not 31 don’t ask

Scremn= scream/ screaming

°×°×°×°×° Maggie POV:

Today was like any normal day. I wake up next to Bushushu (Bushura) my son/cat. She is so beautiful, she has mostly black fur, but her back left leg is almost all white, reaching her butt, except for the medium sized black dot on the middle of her leg. On her face the hair around her nose and under her jaw going towards her belly is all white. She always makes me smile with her less pigmented lime green eyes. I look at my Bushushu and scremn (inside joke), because she puts her paw on my face…I can’t help myself, my heart is just scremn now. She starts meowing pretty loudly, meaning she wants to leave, and I have to do the right thing by letting her out, mostly because it’s annoying af, but I still want her by my side.

“Bye my son,” I say sofly, so softly that it hurts.

I sit back on my bed, it’s somewhat cold and empty without my son. I plug in my head phones and lean back on my pillow after making my bed. The soft blue and white fabric reminds me of old times when I was younger, mostly not that good because of titty(twin brother), but it also reminded me of the time when I discovered BTS. That was in 2016 when BTS came out with their song fire🔥 lit af, but by then I was already a fan, but after that song I became a hard core army. I look at the ceiling and continue thinking about YOONGI AGUST D BOI FIRE RAP GOD, but suddenly FIRST LOVE comes on and I scremn so loudly my mom has to come in and ask if I’m okay. That song is the reason I’m going to an art school, and following my dreams, because my first love was and still is art. I would call my wife up but she’s still at the school unfortunately. I get up and jump out the window so I can walk to the park without having to maneuver myself around the house to go play basketball. I cut my middle finger on the side of the window because there was stick stuck there but it scabbed pretty quickly afterwards, so that’s nice. I walk around the neighborhood until I reach my destination, THE HOOP BRO ITS FINNA BE LIT GONNA PLUG IN MY HEADPHONES AND LISTEN TO SELFISH BECAUSE IM SELFISH AND WANT TO FUCK THIS BALL IN THE ASS SO HARD THAT IT BOUNCES BACK FOR MORE. Anyways, I’m already at the basketball court and I already feel my adrenaline kicking in cause AGUST DADDY just came on (TONY FICKING MONTANA) and I’m ready to do this shit. I take off my hoodie and start dribbling, once through my legs, and then I spin, and slam dunk on that ass. Shit someone was right there, THEY HEAD IS VLEEDING OH YMKFKSFUCK!

°×°×°×°×° Yoongi POV:

Fuck why am I even doing this shit, how do you step on a Lego when you don’t own any?? For one, why are we staying at an apartment, for two, why in this crappy town. Good thing I brought my doggey she so cute, she make me heppey, so beautiful Holley. Jin told me that there is some kind of basketball court around here somewhere. I’ll just walk around until I find something. Okay fuck I forgot my basketball, oh someone’s already playing. Maybe they want to play with me? That’s not me though I don’t ask for that shit to nervous fuck. Okay why am I going to ask, why am I walking there?? Why fuck??(Because it’s your destiny)

“Hey can you stop, let’s pla–” I have been halted. I look up to see a horrified face, and once we make eye contact she falls backwards and lands on the concrete. She points at me and starts talking gibberish. I ask her in broken English, “Are you Army?” She says “yes(in korean)” and im like, “oh shit, you speak so good.” She gets up ans dusts herself off, and just stares at me. “Hello??”

“IM SORRY I DIDNT MEAN TO LET ME GET YOU A BANDAGE IM SORRY I LOVE YOU.” okay her Korean is amazing af, thats fucking weird. I touch my head with my hand and theres blood. Thats fuckin cool af. She puts om her hoodie, zips it up, while keeping it on, she taked off her shirt and raps it around my head. I try to keep a straight face, but im blushing so hard right now for a fucking fan, this is weird.

°×°×°×°×° Maggie POV:

“So, what was it you wanted to ask me about?” I try to say as calm as possible without scremn.

“I wanted to play basketball since I forgot mine.” He says so unblatantly like he was telling a lie and is now admitting the truth. I say okay.

Im not losing to him, idc if hes Min fucking Yoongi the God of all, my daddy, I will win. I pretend like I’m going to turn and head straight for the basket, but I turn back and brake them ankles, except only i dont break his ankles. I slam straight into his chest making us both fall onto the ground, and I have fallen on to his face.

[chanxyeollie]

70 questions, tagged by @stan-the-best-stan-monsta-x thx bby

1. do you have a good relationship with your parents? uhhh... well me & my mom generally have a good time, she acts more sisterly if that makes sense?? but me and my dad butt heads A LOT and do not get along very often.

2. who did you last say “i love you” to? see i’m pretty uncomfortable physically saying the words but like probably my cat or something lol.

3. do you regret anything? um YES let’s see off the top of my head: dying my hair red in the sixth grade, putting waaaay too much cheese on the pizza i had the other day, and being such a shitty student this year haha.

4. are you insecure? yES. i mean i have this rule that everyone who knows me in irl knows. like no one is allowed to take pictures of me. or share pictures of me. if they want a picture i have to take it or i have to direct them. there are years of pictures of my growth or w/e missing and it pisses my parents tf off lol.

5. what’s your relationship status? single as the day i exited the womb

6. how do you want to die? preferably when i’m asleep i mean??? like i don’t wanna feel anything so...

7. what did you last eat? pork? and then right after whipped cream from a can because that’s who i am as a person.

8. played any sports? hahahahahah fun fact i don’t play sports because i have really weak ankles - i’ve sprained both of them twice!

9. do you bite your nails? ugh yes... i had three years where i didn’t but now i do. :/ i’m trying to break the habit by carrying an unlimited amount of nail files with me. i miss having long nails SO MUCH.

10. when was your last physical fight? two nights ago, my mom came home after work at like midnight and hid behind a wall to scare me, which resulted in a ninja-like slap from me.

11. do you like someone? the beauty of being socially awkward and anxious and being in a uni where you don’t have to talk to anyone means there is no one to get to know and crush on. nice. :-)

12. have you ever stayed up 48 hours? no, i’ve stayed up for 37 but that was the longest and i was... pretty wacked out by then but that’s a story for another time.

13. do you hate anyone at the moment? if i do i’ve blocked them from my mind i??? can’t think of anyone at this particular moment, probably just fictional characters.

14. do you miss someone? i’m gonna say this really adorable cat named toby that i saw at a petsmart like a year ago. i hope he found a good home.

15. have any pets?
 three cats! boris, pepper, and widget.

16. how exactly are you feeling at the moment?
 um a little bit numb because i’m sitting on my foot but otherwise neutral.

17. ever made out in the bathroom? no

18. are you scared of spiders?
 yeah the story of the first time i stayed up for a full 24 hours relates to a spider. also when i was very little i had a night terror where i had materialized a tarantula the size of me on top of me in my bed and well. that scarred me for life yanno?

19. would you go back in time if you were given the chance? fuckin yeah i’d tell myself not to confess to that one guy. embarrassing

20. where was the last place you snogged someone? never lol

21. what are your plans for this weekend?
 crying before i start work on monday. i really don’t wanna go back, fuck.

22. do you want to have kids? how many? yeah! i already made a pact with myself that if i’m still single when im in my thirties i will adopt some kids. 

23. do you have piercings? how many? just my ears~

24. what is/are/were your best subject(s)? um well once it was english but NOT ANYMORE LOL

25. do you miss anyone from your past?
 no, i don’t think so.

26. what are you craving right now?
 surprisingly more of the pork i had earlier even tho i didn’t really like it lol??

27. have you ever broken someone’s heart?
 no

28. have you ever been cheated on?
 no, kinda have to have had a boyfriend for that to happen

29. have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?
 no

30. what’s irritating you right now? the exam i have tomorrow. i should have withdrawn from that class i’m gonna have two F’s on my transcript wails

31. does somebody love you? my youngest cat. i am her mom.

32. what is your favourite color? black, pink in your area

33. do you have trust issues? yes but at the same time no

34. who/what was your last dream about? omg k let me get out my dream journal hang on... okay a short synopsis: my friend owned a burger king in this area near our high school (idk??) and i worked there w her, her boyfriend, and a few other people but one of the guys took my uniform which was, by the way, for some reason pastel blue and pink overalls but like shorts? and they were puffy like winter jackets. and then so i couldn’t work but i was still there and then allison and lydia from teen wolf walked in and we had like a reunion bc apparently we were friends lol and then scott came in and then stiles came in after him and i like ran to him and we hugged. idk what happened in my head man.

35. who was the last person you cried in front of? omg... my roommate. because i read a really sad fic and i tried to hide my tears w my blanket bUT SHE CAUGHT ME and then i started laughing while bawling my eyes out simultaneously bc i was embarrassed rip.

36. do you give out second chances too easily? gdi yeah i do. but i’ll bitch abt the person a fair amount first.

37. is it easier to forgive or forget? forgiving is hard but i’d never want to forget anything someone did to me. i’d want to remember so i can caution myself to make sure the same thing doesn’t happen again.

38. is this year the best year of your life?
 um no unless the second half is gonna have a really great turn around.

39. how old were you when you had your first kiss? well i can tell you at this rate i’ll be 20 or over when it finally happens

40. have you ever walked outside completely naked? (réka omfg i laughed so hard at ur answer) no i have not. but once i forgot to take my pajamas off and just put my clothes over them and then when i went to the bathroom later in the day i was really fucking confused

51. favourite food?
 well you got ur meats, steak, bacon, any sort of chicken. but you got pizza too. and you got sugar waffle cones... i mean like how am i to pick?

52. do you believe everything happens for a reason? i mean i hope it does because otherwise that’s just a big fuck u from the universe.

53. what is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
 (réka fuck me up enter the realm of exo) um i read exo fics and then i was on @vixx17andbtsimagines‘s blog catching up on her stuff.

54. is cheating ever okay? noooooooooooooo~~~~~~ its not like wtf is that why would you put someone through the pain that’s so shitty. idc the circumstance.

55. are you mean?
 no i’m really not but my face and fast-paced walk and avoidance of ppl makes them think i’m a mega-bitch. seriously, at least three of my friends have told me that was their first impression of me yikes.

56. how many people have you fist fought?
 technically two but very lowkey. the first one was a very hesitant, light slap to the face of this boy when i was in the sixth grade - i was very scared to do this but afterwards he cried and said i broke his jaw lmAO. and this doesn’t really count but this guy i was friends with was sitting across from me at a table and he jokingly threw a plastic fork at me and out of pure reflex i smacked him across the face. this has happened more than once disclaimer rofl.

57. do you believe in true love?
 books make me want to believe it. but i don’t really know. i feel that can only be answered by someone who’s experienced it idk??

58. favourite weather?
 just... march, october, and november because that is when there are no bugs and it’s cold enough to wear pants and the bulk of my clothes without sweating/freezing.

59. do you like the snow?
 yeah if i’m not in it lol. those canadian winters, man

60. do you wanna get married? yeah i’d like to one day, but when i think abt having the ceremony i get very anxious haha

61. is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? that depends on the person?? but i feel like i’d personally be such a sucker for it if it was from the right guy lol

62. what makes you happy?
 the rare perfect cup of coffee, music, smyang’s music box version’s of songs, exo and bts crack videos (i die every time), having a good ass sleep with my body pillow to name a few.

63. would you change your name? yeah i go by aluri everywhere because its what i want to change my name to. by this point i’ve ‘had’ it for ten years and even though my family/irl friends don’t call me it, that’s all the online knows me as.

64. would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?
 well the last person i kissed was in a dream and it was mark from got7 so no, not at all ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

65. your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? i don’t have one of those anymore so

66. do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? no?

67. who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?
 shocker it was my dad lmao

68. who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? my roommate. which sucks because we aren’t roomies anymore and i’m gonna miss our car talks so much. :/

69. do you believe in soulmates?
 if the reason i haven’t been so much as looked at by a guy is because the world is saving me for my soulmate then sure. but otherwise NO

70. is there anyone you would die for? my oldest cat boris. :/ he’s kind of my best friend so what’re you gonna do, you feel? i love doing things like this as an excuse to talk abt myself  & it was really fun so thank you for tagging me babe @stan-the-best-stan-monsta-x and i loved reading yours!! and um gonna tag my two mains again @tearsmp4 @bunmyeon because a) i love them b) i have no other friends seriously also @sooberri if you wanna do this i’d like to know more about you as creepy as that sounds ^^

[cherryaire]

Have some more HS AU that got way longer than intended. Basically a page right out of my life.

 Dan knew that it was a bad idea for him to even attempt to play kickball. In his infinite wisdom, he had decided to actually try kicking instead of letting everyone cut him in line, and now he's paying for it. Coach Phelan is crouched next to him on the ground where he's sitting, clutching his left ankle. He's trying really hard to not cry but it's growing more and more difficult by the second. He had torqued the fuck out of it when he went down. 

 "Do you think you can walk?" Coach Phelan asks, lightly prodding his ankle with cool fingers. He shakes his head no, and his wild curls whap him in the face. The coach turns to scan the gymnasium, and her eyes fall upon Arin Hanson, who is standing as far away from the action as possible without leaving the room. "Hanson!" she shouts, and Arin jumps, startled. He hurries over, confused. 

 "Yeah, Coach?" 

 "I need you to carry Dan to the nurse's office," she says, and both boys say "what?" at the exact same time. Phelan looks amused. "He's sprained his ankle and he can't walk, and you're strong enough to carry him."

 "I'm pretty sure a light breeze could carry him," Arin points out, and Dan fixes Arin with a cold stare. 

 "That may be," Phelan says, and Dan interjects with a quiet "hey!", but they both ignore him. "Get a move on, boys." Arin looks down at Dan, who is still clutching his ankle. Even with his face twisted in a grimace of pain, he's fucking attractive. He's talked to Dan several times since they had AP English together, but they aren't much more than acquaintances. In all honesty, Arin spent more time staring at Dan than paying attention in English. 

 "C'mon, string bean, lift your arms," Arin says, crouching down. Dan huffs grumpily, but raises his arms. Arin picks him up bridal style and Dan hooks his arms around Arin's neck. Fuck, this is awkward. Arin walks slowly so as to not jostle Dan's ankle too much. 

 "I'll have you know I weigh a hundred and thirty pounds," Dan quips, looking ahead so that he doesn't have to deal with how close he is to Arin's face. He can smell the cinnamon gum he's chewing. 

 "A hundred and thirty ounces, maybe," Arin teases. 

 "Don't make me kick your ass," Dan threatens, though they both know he's not serious. He yelps when Arin shifts him. "Some fucking warning would be nice!"

 "Oh, by the way, I readjusted you." Dan finally turns his head to look at Arin. He's close enough to see the different shades of brown in the other boy's eyes. His face begins to heat with a blush and he really hopes it isn't too obvious. 

"You're an asshole, you know that?" Arin grins and Dan's stomach does a jump kick into his throat. 

 "Takes one to know one." 

 "Touché." 

 They travel in silence for a minute before Arin speaks up. "Dude, why do your shorts have to be so tiny?" There is nothing but miles of bare leg against Arin's right arm and it's incredibly distracting. Even with the knobbly knees, Dan has nice fucking legs. Most of the guys in class (including Arin) wore basketball shorts. Leave it up to Dan Avidan to be wearing booty shorts.

 "My sister stole my gym shorts and put hers in my bag instead," Dan explains. He had been embarrassed as fuck when he first pulled out the shorts, especially since 'CAAAAAAKES' was written across the ass, but he now refused to give them back. He looked damn good in them. 

 "You can fit into your sister's shorts?" For some reason, that’s fucking hilarious to Arin.

"It's not like she's six!" Dan says, mildly indignant. "Dana's fourteen." 

 Arin can't help but laugh. "Her name is Dana? Dan and Dana Avidan?" 

 "Get this," Dan says, "my dad's name is Avi." 

 "You're fucking kidding me," Arin says through his laughter. Dan can't help but join in. "Avi, Dan, and Dana Avidan. That's golden." 

 "Well, technically my first name is Leigh, but I've always gone by Dan, so." The hanging sign that points toward the office is coming into view and Dan's excited to get some ice on his throbbing ankle. "My mom is Debbie so she at least escaped the redundant naming trend." 

 "Leigh is a pretty name," Arin says nonchalantly, and Dan looks up at him again. 

 "What?" He's blushing again. Fuck. 

 "Exactly what I said. Leigh is a pretty name." He's sincerely enjoying how flustered he's making Dan. "Makes sense." 

 "What makes sense?" Dan has decided none of this makes sense, actually. Stupid Arin making him all stupid flustered. 

 "A pretty name for a pretty dude." Dan squeaks and ducks his head, letting his hair fall in his face to cover the bright blush rushing across the apples of his cheeks. He chews his lip for a moment before peeking up at Arin through the curtain of curls. 

"You think I'm pretty?" Arin smiles, and Dan can't help but smile back. 

"You're fuckin' gorgeous dude." Dan squeaks again. Arin manages to look away from where Dan is biting his lip, and he sees that they're at the nurse's office. "If I jingle jangle your ankle, I'm sorry." Carefully, he tilts Dan so he can get hold of the door handle and he tugs on it to open it far enough to wedge his foot into. Dan yelps in pain, and Arin squeezes the hand that's around his waist in an attempt to comfort him. "Could I maybe get some assistance?" Arin asks, salty as fuck. The secretary hops up and holds open the door as if she hadn't seen Arin trying to open it with an armful of Avidan. He doesn't tell her thank you because goddamn. She informs them that it'll be several minutes before the nurse can get to them. A kid had a nosebleed somewhere and the nurse was on blood cleanup duty. 

 Dan is gritting his teeth from all the movement, and Arin quickly takes him into the nurse's room and lays him down on one of the cots. Since the nurse isn’t here, Arin opens the freezer and grabs an ice pack, and after he wraps it in a few paper towels, he hands it to Dan. "This'll probably hurt," he warns while untying Dan's shoe. Dan nods and grits his teeth, but he still whines loudly when Arin takes his shoe off. "Sorry. Fuck, that's swollen as shit." 

 "Don't fuckin' swear so much," Dan mutters, and Arin snorts. "Will, uh, will you stay with me until the nurse gets here?" He's embarrassed again. He blames the constant blushing on Arin, 100%. 

 Arin sits down next to him and grabs the pillow from the head of the cot and plops it in his own lap before carefully maneuvering Dan's foot to rest on top of it. He holds the ice pack to where it's most swollen. He pulls his phone out of his pocket and unlocks it before handing it to Dan. "Could I have your number?" 

"Uh, sure. My phone is in my locker in the locker room," he explains, inputting his number. Arin laughs when he sees that he put his name as Danny (the pretty one) 💋. Dan smiles at him and it's his turn to blush. Dan opens his mouth to say something, but they're interrupted by the nurse bustling in through the door. 

"Oh, Danny," she says, and Dan grins sheepishly. "What the hell did you do now?" 

 "I tried to play kickball," he says. 

 "And that was your first mistake," she teases. 

 "How often are you in here?" Arin asks quietly, and Dan pokes him in the ribs. 

"Shut up." 

 "I could start carrying you everywhere," he offers. 

 "That would be an improvement," Nurse Kathy says, and Dan groans in exasperation. She begins examining Dan's ankle, and without thinking about it, Dan reaches out and squeezes Arin's hand. If Kathy notices, she doesn't comment on it. "Well, I'm gonna have to call your mom. I don't think it's more than a bad sprain, but you can't be sure without an x-ray." 

 "Dammit," Dan mutters. 

 Arin has to cover his mouth to quiet his laughter when Kathy calls Dan's mom, because he can hear Debbie ask "what did he do this time?" 

 "Shut up," Dan repeats, but he’s got a smile on his face. "I'm not used to my grasshopper legs yet!" 

 "At least they're good looking grasshopper legs." Ah, there's the flustered squeak again. 

 "I hate to interrupt," Kathy says with a smile on her face, "but could you get Dan's stuff from his locker?" 

 Dan writes the combination to his main locker and his gym locker on Arin's arm. "Thank you," he tells him. 

 "Sure thing, string bean!" He ducks out of Dan's reach when he tries to poke him in retaliation, laughing at Dan's frown. 

 Arin makes it back to the office in time to end up holding the door for Dan's mom. He follows her into the nurse's room so he can give Dan his stuff. 

 "Dan, why are you wearing Dana's shorts?" Debbie asks, and Arin breaks into a fit of giggles. 

Dan snatches his gym bag from Arin. "That's not important," Dan mutters. Debbie sighs loudly, but lets it go. 

 "And who's this handsome young man?" she asks, turning to Arin. 

 "Debbie, no," Dan whines, covering his face. "What have I done to deserve this?" 

 Arin shakes the proffered hand and smiles sheepishly. Dan looks a lot like his mom. 

"I'm Arin. I helped the damsel in distress get down here." 

 "Lord, take me now," Dan grumbles. Everyone else ignores him. 

 "Thank you for helping him," Debbie says, and Arin beams with pride. 

 He stays until Debbie and Dan are headed out the door, just in case he's needed for something. As they head outside, Arin hears Debbie say to Dan, "He's cute, Dan. Why haven't I met him before?" 

which is met with a loud, "Oh, my God, Doobles, please stop talking." 

Arin doesn't even have to see him to know Dan's face is bright pink. Before heading back to class, Arin fires off a text to Dan, who probably won't get around to checking it until later. 

 Check ur gym bag 😉 

 He doesn't get a response until he's a few blocks from his house. 

 Oh god what did you put in my bag?? Is it dicks I bet it's dicks 

Pause.  Oh!! Uh yeah uh I'd love to go to the movies with you :) 

 Arin practically skips the rest of the way home.