#she's bad at it but it's fine

[midnightwind]

have a little preview of the Blood of Arlathan bit I wrote because I've been thinking about Renn's mom again (I also forgot the Dalish were just put in a funny box and not literal cages and chains but it's fine, don't worry about that)

“Alright,” Renn breathed, wiping her brow and smearing blood instead, “I think that’s the last of the Venatori for now. The rest are too busy worshipping the dragon. How are we doing with the locks?”

“Getting there!” Bellara called back, the snap of magic following her voice.

“Done over here.” Lucanis answered, helping an older elf join the main group.

She pressed a hand to her chest in relief. “Good, good. Let's get moving soon-”

“Mirevas?”

Her heart stopped.

“Mirevas, is that you?” The woman was speaking in Dalish, the language like an unwelcome friend to her ears.

She couldn't bring herself to look, her body going numb. That voice was from her worst memories, her earliest memories. It had lacked warmth or love, yet right now it held an aching hope. It didn't deserve to. She didn't deserve to. When two hands latched onto her arms, she flinched violently, trying to pull herself free and turn away. She didn't want to look. Everyone had paused in confusion, except Bellara. The other elf had taken a half step towards them, brow furrowed with worry.

“How you've grown! My little pup, you're alive…”

She tore herself free suddenly, letting Bellara catch the older woman before she fell. The cold, calculating Crow took over, smothering the scream in her throat. She stalked to the edge of the ruin, holding a hand out to the escape route as she half turned back to the group.

“Let's go. They know we're here somewhere and it's only a matter of time before Elgar'nan wants his sacrifices.” She ducked into the forest, tossing out directions as she walked. “I'll take point and run distraction if need be with the dagger. Lucanis and Davrin, flank. Taash, take the rear. The rest of you help the elves. Quick and quiet as you can, people.”

She had taken three steps before Lucanis seemed to melt from the shadows at her side. “Are you okay?”

“Keep her away from me and I will be.” She bit the words off sharply, teeth grinding. “I'll explain later.”

He was gone in the next breath. She focused on cutting the path to safety, ears straining for any sound of alarm. Getting ambushed almost sounded like a blessing, anything that let her vent her frustration. It felt like her stomach had fully dropped out and run away, a yawning abyss replacing it. Her fingers felt numb from it as she flexed them on her dagger, her orb bobbing as she clenched and unclenched a fist. Every time she paused, it felt like there was a buzzing in her skull. She wanted to run until her legs gave out, scream until her throat failed. But that wouldn't get these people to safety and they didn't deserve her wrath. 

So she led them swiftly along the route, a blessedly uneventful trip. When she caught sight of Strife and Irelin she almost collapsed with relief. The Dalish were their problem now, she could quietly excuse herself back to the Eluvian. There was no need to confront the looming shade of her past. She had a world to save, she was busy, she didn't have time for this. She was about to clap hands with Strife on a job well done when the woman cried out again.

“Mirevas!” She started, trying to push past Lucanis who had firmly placed himself between the woman and Renn. “Please! My daughter-”

It was like a dam broke in her, finding herself suddenly pushing the assassin aside to loom over the elf. “Don't you dare.” She snarled, magic sparking along her knuckles. “You lost every right to call me daughter twenty years ago. We are strangers.”

That seemed to crush her, shoulders sagging and tears filling her eyes. “I had no choice. The rules of the Clan-”

“Told me to rot,” she snapped, hand tightening on her dagger, “and you let it happen. Not a word, nothing to fight for me. You let them paint my face with marks of adulthood before leaving me to the wolves when I was 12. You raised me on the idea that I would never belong. No attachments, I was going to be sent away. Friends, family, a sense of home, none of that was for me. Your own daughter. You should have knifed me in the crib. It would have been less cowardly.”

“Mirevas…”

“Is dead. You can call me Rook like everyone else. Or better yet, never call on me and save us both the misery.”

The sharp edge in her voice was like the torch tossed on the funeral pyre. Her mother sank to the forest floor, sobs shaking her frame. Her stare was frigid before someone placed a hand on her shoulder. She jerked away sharply, rounding on whoever had dared touch her before the fight in her snuffed out abruptly. Lucanis had been the one to approach her, his brow furrowed and concern obvious. She pulled in a long, shaking breath, running her hands through her hair before shaking them at her side. Lightning sparked free and fizzled out in the air as she reclaimed herself. She was fine.

“Strife,” she started abruptly, turning her back on the weeping figure, “I leave the Dalish in your care. Let me know if you need supplies later. We need to get back to planning our next move against the gods.”

The man paused as if on the verge of saying something before he set his jaw. “Alright. Thanks for your help. Keep us in mind if you need a strike force.”

She raised her hand absently in goodbye as she stalked towards the Veil Jumper camp. It felt like her bones were vibrating beneath her skin, her body screaming for motion. A part of her sang to the forest, a deep seated desire in her blood to run among the trees. She took the cold spike of 20 years of Crow training and stabbed the feeling through its craven heart. The wilderness held nothing for her. It never had.

Instead, she forced herself to keep a brisk walk. She could return to Treviso to sprint the rooftops later. There was a good chance she'd need to gather all their allies soon anyways. No one could fault her for wanting to visit the Crows herself. Well, except maybe the other assassin in the party. To whom she had promised an explanation. Fuck.

The thought caused her to stop in her tracks, rubbing her palms into her eyes. It rather felt like a headache was coming on. There was an abrupt bump against her back, a quiet squeak signaling that Bellara hadn't noticed the other elf halting and had simply walked straight into her. It was a full teeter as the momentum pushed forwards and she humored letting it take her to the forest floor. Maybe she could pretend to faint and escape the whole ordeal. With a wistful sigh she let the motion spin her instead, looping her arm with Bellara's and having them do a 180. She planted the Jumper's feet firmly in the leaf litter, patting her shoulders for good measure, before giving the group bored jazz hands.

“Sorry,” she finally amended as she took a step backwards, “I shouldn't have stopped like that.”

“Oh.” Bellara started slowly, blinking as she tried to figure out what happened. “I should have noticed… Sorry! But, um, what was the move you did? To keep us from falling?”

She shrugged, turning back to the path. “Nothing specific, just used your movement to turn mine and then pushed off you. Eventually our weight met in the middle and I used that to right us. Basic stuff.”

“It just happened really fast.”

“I was slow about it, actually. Almost did fall.” Her voice was flat, the usual lilting mirth gone.

“Um… Rook?” Bellara tried again. “Are you okay? It's okay if you're not, I mean, that looked- do you want to talk about it?”

She was sure the group could hear her magic sparking around her, but she forced the emotion down. Smoothed over it with practiced ease, just like she had been taught. “No, thank you, Bellara. There is very little about that encounter I wish to discuss.”

“Oh.” The disappointment was audible in the Jumper's voice. “Well, okay. If you ever want… my door's open.”

“Yeah.” She tried not to let the word snap free from her lips and only marginally failed.

Blessedly the camp finally came into view. She passed among the prepared cots and little campsite waiting for the Dalish swiftly. When a Veil Jumper managed to make anxious eye contact with her, she simply gave them an exhausted thumbs up. Bellara seemed to hesitate for a moment before excusing herself, splitting off to actually provide an update to the allies who had stayed behind. The Crow simply waved her off, too.

“If you guys want to stay and help, feel free. Having Elgar'nan whisper sweet nothings in my ear has given me a headache. We can take a few hours for ourselves, I think. Plan tomorrow.” The nervous energy had her flicking her knife around in her hand, the flashing silver the only hint to her own unease.

The majority of the group peeled away at that, moving to help sort supplies or finish setting up just one more tent. Her retinue now slimmed down to Neve, who was busy chewing a nail in thought, and Lucanis, currently occupied with trying to stare a hole through her back, did help ease the tension somewhat. It at least let her reach the Eluvian without further incident. Traveling through it always made her stomach lurch, the Fade clawing fingers through her being. And then they were back in the dimly lit Lighthouse and she let out a heavy sigh.

“I'm going to start compiling my notes.” Neve huffed, already halfway down the walkway. “We'll need our army soon, I need to start drafting the letters.”

And then there were two Crows left waiting. Lucanis simply regarded her with a single raised eyebrow, an unspoken question hanging heavy in the air. It made her hand clench at her dagger's grip as she finally sheathed it. The nervous energy was now humming through her. She wanted to run, scream, grab him by the shoulders and shake the stupid look from his face. Instead she offered up a weak shrug.

“I'm going to try and sleep a little.”

“Mhm.” He didn't sound convinced.

“See you in a few hours, probably.” She tried to inject some of her usual brightness into the words, but they sounded hollow.

“I'll make some coffee.” He finally relented, letting her scurry past to take the stairs two at a time to her room.

The need to run had her half sprinting to the queer chamber. She paused at the little hallway, pressing herself into the shadow of a pillar and watching the door that led out to the Fade proper. Lucanis was a muted shade as he walked slowly, a hand tangling in his hair as he went. The low drone of his voice barely reached her, but combined with minute twitching and how his shoulders hitched, it was obvious Spite was being chatty. He was waving his hand as he reached the doors, seemingly trying to disperse an annoying cloud or agitating fly.

“Mierda, I know.” He snapped, loud enough that it made her jump, then softer added, “Too late now.”

And then he slipped past the door into the brightness outside. Good, Spite was distracting him. That bought her a few extra minutes. It wasn't that the demon made him sloppy, just a little more busy. Very few people would be able to take advantage of that. She was one of them. Off like a flash, she was inside her room and tearing clothes out of her wardrobe. Part of her wanted to stuff them all in a bag, shovel a few of the trinkets she'd bought on the journey in after, and disappear. Varric was on the mend. If she left the dagger, it would be his problem. Not hers. She would be free.

Her hand paused. She would have a few days, a week or two, maybe a month if they were lucky. Then the world would be ruined, torn asunder and blighted. Some freedom. She latched onto a boot, flinging it sharply at the wall of glass. It thunked harmlessly to the floor, though some of the weird fish did scatter at the disturbance. She hated this.

It was so much simpler back home. Viago handled all the annoying shit, details and plans and numbers. He would tell her where to go, who to stab, what the obstacles were, and she’d go. A simple dagger in the night, a weapon to be directed. She didn't need the trappings of fame or the burden of import. She was content to be the favored pain in the ass of the Fifth Talon. Maybe she had to be a little more careful with what she touched, watching her meals prepared a little closer than others, but that was simply what being a Crow meant. At least she knew what the line between an unpleasant evening and actual death via Viago's concoctions was. It was a familiar dance that she reveled in.

Gods and monsters and a thousand years of pain and regret were not what a contract should be. Kill some gods, how hard could it be? If she hadn't happened to save Varric, would any of this have happened? All she had to be was well behaved for one night and she would still be a Crow, enjoying her House. They likely would have been fighting demons and her magic might have instantly killed her, but it would have been simpler.

And Lucanis would have been trapped still, forever at odds with Spite. Davrin would have been lost to the Gloom Howler, the griffons snuffed out without warning. Bellara would have lost her people and herself to her brother. Neve would have been ground down by the Venatori and blood mages. Harding would be looking for Solas alone. Taash would have been trapped in their own body before they were hunted down. Emmrich would be struggling forever alone with his choice. Life would have been harder for them all.

She would have stayed a petulant child, content to hold everyone at arm's length. Responsibility would slide off her back like oil on water. Free, untethered, and numb. She kicked at the pile of clothes. The ordeal had made her a better person and it caused a bitter taste in her mouth. With a grumble, she snatched at the pair of lighter leathers she had brought from home. She changed quickly, muttering a quiet apology to the Caretaker who would likely have the mess cleaned up by the time she returned.

She stuffed a few letters, more like unfinished drafts, in her bag and ghosted her way back to the Eluvian. One step into the glowing hall had the hairs on the back of her neck stand up, an electric hum of danger shooting through her. She wasn't alone. Her dagger was in her hand before she could think to summon it, spinning on her heel to confront whoever thought they could sneak up on her. The motion ended in an awkward teeter as she found Lucanis leaning against the wall next to the entryway, a book in hand.

“And here I thought I was the only one with a penchant for sleepwalking.” His voice hummed with a laugh. “Visiting Treviso, by chance?”

She deflated at that. “Am I so predictable?”

He shrugged, pocketing his reading material. “We never interacted, but I was around Viago enough to hear him complain about how you would disappear when he needed you for a job. I always found it odd that he would keep a Crow who annoyed him so much.”

“Family makes you do weird shit.” She half grinned. “How did you beat me here?”

“I thought I didn't, but then you threw something at the fish tank. Very loud.” There was a scolding note to his tone there. “There’s only the one exit to the Lighthouse and you were practically vibrating on the walk back so I figured my chances were good that you would try to sneak out.”

“I wasn't going to do anything stupid.” She huffed.

He raised an eyebrow at that.

“Alright, I wasn't going to do anything dangerous.” She groused. “Just wanted to clear my head.”

“Alone. In a city still swarming with Antaam. While the gods are hunting you.” His favored monotone humor dripped from the words.

“I could have been planning to hang out at the Diamond for all you know.”

“With Viago there? If he didn’t scold you back through the mirror for shirking your contract, you would have been driven out by having to listen to him and Teia mercilessly flirt for the next 5 hours.”

That got an earnest grumble out of her as she crossed her arms. “Alright, fine. You got me. I was going to go for a run on the rooftops.”

He tapped a finger to his lips in thought before nodding. “I haven’t seen the city like that since the Ossurry. Sounds like a fine way to pass the evening.”

“Are…” She blinked incredulously at him. “Are you inviting yourself along?”

“Well, I already told Neve we were checking in with the Crows and I’d hate for her to think me a liar.” He countered with a grin before sobering. “You really shouldn’t go out alone, though. I can be a very quiet bodyguard if you’d like.”

A strangled noise of defeat escaped her. “Maker, fine. If you can keep up. You lose me, that’s on you.”

“You think you can outrun me?” He half laughed.

“I think you were stuck in chains for a year, I have a lot of anger to burn off, and that I have had to run from a lot more jobs than you.”

That earned her an honest laugh. “Sounds like a challenge.”

“Maybe.” She grinned before stepping backwards through the Eluvian.

[notherpuppet]

Buckshot: Part 3 of 4

Getting to know the nanny

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4

[chloesimaginationthings]

Michael teaches FNAF movie Vanessa, Aftons never win

[inkskinned]

so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.

first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.

it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.

and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.

you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.

and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.

your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.

in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.

in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.

so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.

you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.

once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.

and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"

you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?

hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!

you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.

we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?

[scorp1oz]

Someone needs to make a fic on this version of modern Mizu because OH MY GAWD??? I’m GNAWING on the bars of my enclosure.

DADDY’S HOME 😍 (I can be her trophy wife)

(from: artsyflo0 on tt)

[frodo-a-gogo]

Let us be brutally honest with ourselves and with eachother for a moment. If he weren't obese you motherfuckers would be capable of percieving evrart claires sexy sexy moral ambiguity and complex charms

[swiggity-swexual-i-am-asexual]

Danny Fenton, aka Phantom, has been given a new task!

In short, literally no one in the Ghost Zone/Infinite Realms wants their mostly peaceful afterlife to be rocked by a certain Gotham rogue named Joker. Which, when he dies, is almost sure to happen because of whatever the hell was in that vat he dropped in included ectoplasm. So, yay, he’s also a little ghostly too, meaning he *is* pretty hard to kill. Unfortunately, there’s also a certain vigilante that is quite keen to murder him in recent years.

So now Danny has to keep the mass murderer trauma clown alive for as long as he possibly can while attempting to keep the Joker from. Well. Being the Joker.

Oh, and naturally, Danny got this assignment AFTER Joker got out of Arkham. Again. And entirely blew up the asylum. Time to join the Goonion, he is NOT doing this without getting PAID, thank you.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Lan Wangji Goes To Lotus Pier AU: Part 3: Enveloping Feelings.

(Part 1, Part 2, Part 4)

[lazylittledragon]

forgot to post this the other day but i gave myself a little nameless ghoul :3

[molinaskies]

I rewatched Sonic Twitter Takeover 7 recently and been thinking a lot about this question (this is only part of the answer given) because I had a little epiphany about it.

Obviously these aren’t really ”””canon”””. The lore revelations to be had in these takeovers aren’t supposed to prove any major theories, BUT I like to look at the takeovers as a general guide for how the characters are meant to be perceived at the time of their release.

I remember people reacting to both this takeover and takeover 6 (sonic frontiers) a bit poorly because of how Amy’s feelings for Sonic were downplayed. Given the recent stuff with the Gens remaster, too, this still feels particularly relevant.

Amy’s romantic feelings for Sonic have been downplayed—there’s no denying that—but I don’t think they’re being erased. With the exception of that one clip from takeover 6 (where Amy says she loves Sonic, Tails teases her about it, and Amy backpedals, saying she said “like,” not “love”—very Boom! Amy, btw), Amy’s feelings have still been on prominent display.

However, two things have changed:

1) Amy’s love has matured,

And, more importantly, in my book—

2) Sonic’s response has matured.

In the above clip, Amy states emphatically that Sonic is “her’s” and that she loves him and that he’s perfect, but kind of stumbles over herself once she realizes what she says. Important to note is that she doesn’t take it back at all, meaning that she meant what she said, but probably would have said it differently if she had given it foresight, given the setting they’re in.

This reads to me like Amy is still very confident in her feelings but is making a conscious effort to be less pushy about it—perhaps for Sonic’s sake. However, sometimes it just gets away from her because her love is just so plentiful. It’s cute!

And what makes it even cuter for me is that Sonic is, just, like, totally okay with this?

What does he do when she goofed up and gets flustered about it? He laughs! Short and sweet. He’s very aware of her affection, and he doesn’t mind it at ALL. He loves when he can get reactions out of her (directly or not). It’s in this same takeover that Sonic rags on strawberry shortcake (Amy’s favourite cake flavour) again—specifically to tease her—and he laughs the exact same way, there, too!

(It’s also implied, there, that Sonic gets Amy to chase him, so he seeks out the game just as much as she does.)

Sonic’s response can still read as distinctly neutral on a romantic level, for those who’d prefer that, but objectively it’s a lot more overtly positive. There is no denying that he enjoys her attention.

So, it’s a rebrand. For sure. But I actually find this to be a lot more wholesome? Zainey Amy™️ (when written well and not over-the-top for comedy like in certain games) absolutely has its appeal and deserves its place in canon, but the idea of Amy literally being unable to contain her love for Sonic and her compliments bubbling over is very cute to me. I also find it more powerful and significant because she’s finding her words to express her love instead of just reacting. It’s more thoughtful and reads as more genuine, as a result.

It’s different, but in my opinion, not bad! She’s not boring. She’s still giddy, passionate, loving, and more compassionate than she’s ever been. And Sonic is more accepting (enticed, even) as a result.

[welcometogrouchland]

ANOTHER SKETCH DUMP! Featuring more of me playing with lineless art. Batman reborn era trio (dick, damian and steph) I miss you...when will you return from war. Also featuring Steph designs bc I've seen ppl dissatisfied w/ her current look, some good mom Talia, and Jason Todd poetry club. Duke is confused not that Jason would start a poetry club but that he'd have such mid poetry opinions. (ID in Alt)

[licorishh]

no way she's alive ?? yea those mental health breaks because social media makes people suck are wild huh

[redha-reading-hood]

it’s too bad Nesta drank wine in taverns every night because she wanted to and not because she was force fed wine by her mate to make her memories hazy so he could do horrifying things to her in public because that would’ve been totally ok

[agathasvidal]

[nanocados]

Whatever you say, beautiful 💍💍💍

(Bonus below hehe)

[piiinkfreak]

Just some ghouls at the beach!

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