#she's always a little bittered by other's good relationships with their families
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1980shorrorfilm · 12 hours ago
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has it hit you?
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click!!!
pairing…sam carpenter x gn!reader
in which…an argument causes sam to push you away; which she regrets when you end up under the mistletoe with someone else.
before you read…angst with comfort. alcohol usage. mentions of sex.
“whatever sam said, she didn’t mean— you know she gets like that sometimes!”
tara follows you around the frat house that was lazily decked out with flashy christmas decor, like a child being led by her parent. fitting, considering she’s taking your fight with sam to the heart. 
it was sudden, so sudden yet something you should’ve been entirely prepared for. 
you made the mistake of taking a step in a direction she’s repeated several times she didn’t want to go down. emotional intimacy. a hint at a relationship. dinner with your family for the holidays. 
you had invited her and tara, having believed you were close enough with them to do so, but specifically sam. the woman you’ve spent most of your nights with, wrapped in her arms, skin to skin. 
it wasn’t just sex with her. when she was vulnerable enough, she’d trust you with some of her lighter secrets, still unable to tell you everything that goes on her mind. 
you were okay with that, though, always so patient with her. that’s why you accepted what you two were…nothing and everything at the same time.
not dating, no, she wouldn’t say that. she wouldn’t call you her partner. she wouldn’t even call you her best friend. you were just…you. someone she liked enough to occupy her time with, and she assumed that’s all she was to you.
not someone to bring home to your parents, sam did not think she had the title. she thought she didn’t want it, imagining the judgmental faces from your beloved family members, as if you brought home a mistake. 
a mistake. that’s what she called your whatever-ship.
something that should’ve never happened, she told you. you’re too clingy, she said. just leave me the fuck alone, she begged.
you listened. you always listen to sam. 
leading you to a frat party, being followed by her little sister, a constant reminder of what you’re trying to escape. 
“maybe we should go home— she’s probably waiting for you,” tara tries again, watching you grab a beer from the fridge. you sigh her name, not wanting to scold her, but really tired of hearing about sam. tara gets the hint, and the obvious annoyance in your tone, deciding to back off. for now.
your mind can ease somewhat without having tara’s shadow, actually talking to your friends while the alcohol works its way into your system. 
you find yourself playing beer pong against some faces you occasionally see in class, laughing at just how bad you were— then remembering how good sam is. her aim is amazing, sam knows the right angles and how delicate or hard the pressure should be. you learned that a long time ago, though. 
why are you thinking about her? when you’re just her mistake?
you shake your head, bringing the red solo cup to your lips and downing the alcohol while the opposite team celebrates their win. your partner, a tall blonde who leaned in very close to you the entire time, now trying to hold a regular conversation. 
“aren’t you seeing that carpenter chick?” they had asked, and your head snapped toward them, brows knitting at the comment. you hadn’t known your association with her seemed to others what you also had viewed it as. romantic. 
it’s slightly comforting, knowing it wasn’t entirely in your head, the way samantha tried telling you it was. maybe she was lying more to herself, than you, or so that’s what you hope for. 
“nope,” you tell them, “not seeing anyone.”
the bitterness of your words goes unnoticed, and is taken as an invitation; which it sorta is. you came here to forget her, to make yourself feel better. and if that’s with some blonde that lost beer pong with you, you’re okay with that. you think.
you’re honestly not doing a lot of thinking right now. you’re fake laughing at their stupid jokes. you’re repeating ‘right,’ at their never-ending stories. 
you’re being reminded why you picked sam over everyone else. this is draining, a chore to pretend to be interested. there was no pretending with her. her. her. 
holy fuck, you need another drink. 
you excuse yourself, but they follow, still talking to you. they cut themselves off, an enthusiastic ‘hey,’ as their palm on your wrist halts you in the doorway. 
“wh—”
they point up, and you glance. mistletoe. you see it more in movies than in reality, you’re almost amazed by the sight of the small green and red shrubs. to be beneath it with the love of your life— to be beneath it with sam. 
sam isn’t here.
but you are, and so is the blonde.
because why the fuck not, you close the space between you two, a peck on their lips that goes as quickly as it came. but it lasts long enough for her to see it.
the heat rushes to her cheeks, tara not telling her you were occupied with someone else in the urgent message she had sent her. just the fact that you were drinking, and she’s taking your recklessness as confirmation. 
sam ignores the stares as she pushes past the drunken partygoers, remembering exactly why she didn’t come to shit like this. if she wanted to feel judged she would’ve searched her name online, a habit you’ve tried to stop her from doing.
“y/n.”
her voice cuts through the music and chatter, your eyes falling on her in the doorway of the kitchen. you’re leaning against the counter, the blonde in front of you, looking between you two. sam is only looking at them. 
“can you leave us?” it comes out as a demand when she says it, and they don’t protest, both of you now alone when they scurry away.
you gulp at whatever she has to say to you, probably to get scolded for having fun without her. with someone else. despite her harsh words making it seem like that’s what she wanted from you; to find someone else and stop bothering her. 
you laugh dryly to yourself at the thought.
“what was that?”
“what was what?” 
sam exhales through her nose, trying to be patient in a moment she absolutely did not want to be. she will show you some grace due to being buzzed and not entirely there, but that doesn’t change how she feels.
bitter. annoyed. mad, very mad, at you. 
“so we have one argument and that’s it?” she begins to walk toward you, making you feel extremely small the closer she got, and the louder her voice became.
you dare to bite back, “thought that’s what you wanted.”
“why would i want that?”
“because you fucking said so, sam,” you tell her, the woman not realizing the weight of the things she had said until this moment. 
sure, they weren’t the kindest words that had left her mouth, but they were spoken out of fear rather than honesty. unfortunately, you’re not a mind reader, and you have feelings that sam has obliterated. 
“i don’t…” she trails off, a roar from the crowd in the next room causing her to squeeze her eyes in annoyance. “let’s go home. talk there,” sam tells you, hand gently grabbing at yours, but you pull away. 
“you can go home.”
“y/n.”
“im staying, sam. don’t wait up for me,” you push past her, to the fridge you had originally come into the kitchen for. to your luck, there’s one more beer, but it leaves your hands as soon as you grab it. 
sam walks away with the drink, practically shoving it into someone’s welcoming hands, a tight-lipped smile on her face that drops when she faces you again. “guess i am too, then.”
the audacity.
making you feel like shit, pushing you away, then pulling you back in when you find happiness without her. even if it’s stupid decisions like kissing strangers and drinking until your head hurts. it’s a better feeling than being told you’re not wanted by the woman you love the most. 
“fuck you, sam.”
with that, you storm out of the room, out of the house entirely, the freezing december air hitting you at once. you hug yourself, your ugly holiday sweater not providing you the warmth that the frat home had, and drag your feet to the sidewalk. 
you hear her behind you before she makes her presence known. 
“where are you going?” 
“why? gonna follow me?”
once more, her hand finds your arm, a firm grip holding you in place, and a hard stare that goes through you. it causes your attitude retreat, and your confidence to die completely. 
“if you want to be mad at me, fine, but i’m not leaving you alone like this.”
you remain still, eyes falling to your feet because holding her gaze is too overwhelming. she sees through you, gets to you easily like she is now, and why you’re accepting defeat. 
“fine, whatever. let’s go.”
she lets out of a sigh of relief, thankful this wasn’t going to be another argument. she’s too drained for that. her grip on you softens, along with her eyes that scan your face momentarily, like she was taking you in for the first time tonight. red eyes and a cute frown on your face that she wishes she wasn’t the reasoning for.
sam leads you to her car, making sure tara is okay before she leaves, the ride is quiet and uncomfortable. she taps her fingers on the steering wheel, occasionally glancing at you, your head facing the window, watching the snow begin to fall.
you look at peace, probably the most calm you’ve been since the fight. since she wiped the smile off of your face, replacing your joyful eyes with eyes of pain. her heart begins to hurt.
at a red light, she peels off her jacket, handing it to you without saying anything. you don’t put it on, but you use it as a blanket, inhaling the scent of the cinnamon and sandalwood perfume she drowns herself in. a comforting scent that makes you feel warmer than the jacket itself. 
when you arrive at her place, you’re still clinging to the piece of clothing, sitting on the couch while she makes sure all the locks on the door are secure. you’re mindlessly watching whatever channel on the tv she previously had on, hearing her shuffle in the kitchen.
it’s a few minutes later that she enters the room with two mugs, placing one in your hands. you smell the hot chocolate before she informs you that’s what it is, thanking her before sipping on the sweet drink. 
she sits beside you, leaning forward to grab the remote and mute the television. damn it. 
“can we talk?”
“go ahead,” you mumble, but sam is not as bothered by your subtle attitude. she gets it. she may have acted like it was unwarranted earlier, but you’ve made it very clear she had hurt you. and she deserves the absolute worst for that. 
“what i said to you…i didn’t mean any of it. i was upset— and that’s not an excuse, i know,” she begins, brown eyes trained on her drink, “i just…haven’t loved anyone like this since…”
sam goes quiet, unable to finish that sentence, before speaking again, “and it’s a lot…you’re a lot for me— not in a bad way —it’s just new. and i’m scared im gonna fuck up. i mean i already did.”
she dryly laughs at herself, at the thought of shutting you out to avoid getting hurt and ending up in a much worse position. how she had someone so caring and beyond understanding, and made them feel bad about it. a villain simply for loving her as much as you do— but you’re not one, and you never will be to her.
even now, you have nothing unkind to say to her. you have no desire to even talk about the argument that had taken place. your patience runs deep with samantha, your sympathy outweighing your frustrations.
sam is hurting even more than you, trauma that you couldn’t even begin to understand, insecurities that taint her mindset and your relationship. it’s a problem, you both know this, and you’re still valid for being upset with the words she had spoken due to her own personal complications. words that aren’t true or reflect you at all.
sam will do better for you.
there’s a beat of silence, not nearly as uncomfortable the ride here. the tension is somewhat fleeting, replaced with something else, vulnerability when you both need it.
“so…” you begin, “you love me?”
her head snaps to you, shocked you’re even asking, and that you’re not addressing anything she had said. she doesn’t mind it, though, and answers you.
“so fucking much.”
your cheeks go red at her words, how she means it. sam loves you hard. it is the only reason why you had a fight in the first place.
sam understands it now.
in that part of her brain that is kind to her, in the part that allows her to be in love with you, freely, deeply, openly, like she deserves, ignoring the cruel self-deprecating voices in the back of her mind. 
you end the night with your head on her chest, listening to the rhythm of her heartbeat as you fall asleep cuddled into her body.
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hannahhook7744 · 2 days ago
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Chapter 2:
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Trigger warnings: parents dropping the ball, deteriorating parent-child relationships, aforementioned love spells, stress anxiety, etc. Notes: Just for the record, this is canon divergent and takes place after d1. It takes some inspiration from the books (like the descendants yearbook, Spirt Book: Highlights and Memories, etc). But just know this: Doug apologizes to Evie for talking over her and not letting her explain herself to Mr. Deley and for following her to her meet up with Chad (relationships need communication to thrive, ya know). Mal apologizes for love spelling Ben and came clean about why she did it. The other three vks apologized for their part in it. Lonnie apologized for the spy cams in the school of secrets web series. Jane apologized for her comment to Mal. They all.. just apologized. Cause you know, it would have solved a lot of problems had that been done as soon as possible. Not saying I hate any of the kids– just some of their actions. I can’t say the same for some of the adults, however, Though I did give FG an ambiguous (implied) change of heart since my friend pointed out that she did seem to get better in d2. Maybe Beast and Belle will have a change of heart here too. Who knows.
🎅🤶🧑‍🎄🎅🤶🧑‍🎄🎅🤶🧑‍🎄🎅🤶🧑‍🎄🎅🤶🧑‍🎄🎅🤶🧑‍🎄
Ben’s stomach churned at the silence his question was met with.
“Please mom? They really don’t have any other options this year and no one should be alone on Christmas. I know you don’t like how they’ve been acting lately but I promise they’re trying to change.” 
‘Not that it should matter’ Ben couldn’t help but think, feeling more than a little bitter at this point due to how his parents had been acting ever since his proclamation (or perhaps…even before then. Ben didn’t remember). 
He’d worked so hard to be their perfect little son all these years—the perfect prince who could be trusted to rule one day. But it didn’t matter because apparently his parents had never learned to trust him even though he had only ever given them one reason before his proclamation not to (and honestly, he wasn’t even sure if he wanted his parents trust if all of this distrust was over him cutting up a stupid rose bush when he was eight).
It was beyond frustrating how little they seemed to trust him and how little they valued his boundaries, emotions, and opinions. It honestly made him want to scream but he couldn’t afford to do that. It would look bad to the public after all (who cared if it would make him feel better, right?).
Even Chad and Audrey—two people who had no reason to trust him after the last horrible year where he was basically putting them and his other friends on the back burner (something he would NOT be doing again if he could help)—trusted him more than his parents did. And they were trying to do better—genuinely trying. 
Which was more than he could say about his parents who were only trying in the same way they did with the media—aka avoiding the problem (aka the vks) and acting like they cared when they had to. Like when Ben was around. As if he was too stupid to realize that as soon as he was out of their line of sight that they reverted back to their ‘children of villains are evil and not just misguided’ bullshit. As if he were too stupid to tell the difference between a media smile and a real smile.
Like he hadn’t learned how to fake a smile for the camera before he could even talk.
Ben didn’t understand why his parents couldn’t just try.  
Why couldn't they just admit they were wrong to leave the kids on the isle and apologize like Ben and his friends (the vks included) had all done when they realized they had all wronged each other in some way? 
Why did his parents have to act more like teenagers than Ben and his friends did?
“I’m… not sure that’s such a good idea, sweetheart. Why can’t they just go home with their families?”
Ben tried to ignore the flicker of irritation he felt at the tone she had used—the tone she and his dad always used when they thought he was being unreasonable or stupid. Their ‘I’m sure there’s another way we’ll like much more that you just haven’t thought of yet’ voice. 
The voice he had hated ever since he had first heard it when he was eight. 
His irritation probably wasn’t helped by the fact that he had already explained WHY each of them couldn’t before he had even asked the question.
It felt like she never listened to what he had to say anymore. Her and dad both. 
Ben hated it. 
He hated that he had started to view his parents as if they were enemies instead of the people who were supposed to be on his side and love him no matter what. But he had. He wasn’t sure when  their dynamic had changed but he had a few good guesses.
Maybe it started when Ben made his proclamation and his dad didn’t even try to hear him out before getting mad. 
Maybe it started with his dad’s griping about how many of his snack cakes he had to give up after Ben stood up for himself against the council of sidekicks when they were yelling at him for things that weren’t his fault.
Maybe it had shifted after he broke from the love potion and realized his parents never realized he was even under one. 
Maybe it had shifted only after CJ Hook kidnapped him and his parents never called to see if he was alright.
Maybe it had started to shift all the way back when he cut that rose bush.
Or it could have all shifted because of family day.
Family Day. 
A disastrous affair he’d never forget. 
(“Well, I never wanted to say anything, but I always thought that Audrey was a little self-absorbed. A fake smile, kind of a kiss-up.” his mother said as if he hadn’t willingly been friends with Audrey since they were just kids. As if their scrap books weren't filled with pictures of the two of them and all their other friends together.
His parents looking uncomfortable when he told them Mal was his girlfriend and how his mother fainted when she thought he couldn’t see her.
“I feared something like this would happen.” His dad said after Leah yelled at Mal and Evie knocked Chad out to defend herself and the others. 
“This isn't their fault!” He remembered saying pleadingly—silently begging everyone but mostly his parents to understand. 
“No, son. It's yours.”
“Mom?”
They walked away from him. 
They left him standing there alone—torn between running after them, checking on Chad, and running after Mal  and the others. 
Coach Jenkins was the only one who bothered to check on him afterwards and his parents didn’t answer his calls until coronation came up. He had never felt so alone….).
Ben’s hands started to shake at the memories. He could feel the eyes of Mal and the others on him and forced himself to continue. “You know what, mom. Nevermind. I’ll just stay at the school with Chad and Audrey this year for christmas. “
His mother started to protest but Ben didn’t care and cut her off “Tell pépé , Tante Clarice, and the staff I said Merry Christmas. And Give Charley, Philippe, and Orson a kiss for me. Bye mom.” 
He quickly hung up and put his phone on do not disturb before she could argue.
“Uh…You okay dude?” Jay asked, fidgeting slightly. “Do I need to fight your parents?”
Ben laughed weakly. “Nah, man. It’s okay. I just… need a moment.”
Jay didn’t look convinced but chose not to say anything. Instead sharing a concerned look with Carlos and the girls as they all waited for Ben to calm down.
Eventually—after collecting himself—Ben did and then he started to—for lack of a better word—scheme.
“Sooooo… Who’s up for a little mischief.” 
Immediately Carlos raised his hand, like he done his first day in Remedial Goodness 101. “Oooo me! Me!” 
Jay quickly elbowed him, raising his own hand. Almost leaping into the air in an attempt to hold his hand up higher than the younger boy. “No me!”
“I could go for some mischief. Especially if you’re encouraging it” Mal said, smiling slightly as she shrugged. 
Evie just shrugged “As long as we don’t get caught, I’m game.”
Ben let out a small chuckle before clapping his hands together “alright! That’s just what I wanted to hear. So here’s what we’re gonna do—”
Saving Christmas!
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Summary; Ben finds out why Chad and Audrey aren't going home for Christmas this year and decides that he's going to save Christmas for his old friends. Takes place around d1. Trigger warnings; mentioned death, unintentional neglect, emotional abuse, sick child, unintentional favoritism, sick child, etc.
🎅🤶🧑‍🎄🎅🤶🧑‍🎄🎅🤶🧑‍🎄🎅🤶🧑‍🎄🎅🤶🧑‍🎄🎅🤶🧑‍🎄
"Hey what are you guys doing for Christmas break this year?" Ben asked one day over lunch. 
It was a particularly wintery December 1st when the question was asked and Jane, Doug, Lonnie, and four very excited vks answered almost immediately. 
Mal and Jane were going to the Moors with FG to celebrate it.
Doug and Evie were going over to Snow White's castle with his family to celebrate.
Lonnie and Jay weren't celebrating but still had plans. 
Lonnie was going home to visit her family. 
Jay was going to Agrabah after being invited to by Aziz and Jordan. 
And Carlos was going to be spending it in London with the Radcliffes after their niece, Amber, had sent him an invite. 
After sharing that his grandfather was coming over to celebrate it with him, Ben noticed something.
Audrey and Chad had been eerily silent for the conversation. 
And looking back, it didn't take Ben long to realize that Chad hadn't spoken much all morning. 
"What about you two? What are you doing?" The brunette asked, shooting the two a sweet smile.
Thinking that they were just getting put off by the new group dynamics again. After all, it did take some getting use to —going from a tight knit group of six friends to ten almost overnight. 
And Chad always did have trouble warming up to new people. 
"Uh, we... aren't celebrating this year" Audrey replied, uncharacteristically awkward when it became apparent that Chad wasn't going to. 
The blonde hadn't looked up from his tray to acknowledge any of them since they sat down and was just playing with his food, looking downtrodden.
The amount of prunes, chocolate pudding, and pizza on his plate had stayed the same despite the fact that lunch was nearly over. His pumpkin spice latte hadn't been touched either. 
Ben couldn't help but feel concerned now that he noticed it. After all, the prince never turned his favorite foods down but here he was. Doing just that. 
And the fact that he and Audrey now apparently weren't celebrating Christmas—THEIR FAVORITE HOLIDAY—either was just worsened the concern he felt. 
Apparently he wasn't the only one feeling that way either. 
"WHAT?!" Jane yelped, "but you guys love Christmas!"  
"Yeah. What's going on?" Doug added. 
He and Chad had slowly began repairing their friendship after Ben's coronation after Chad had apologized to all of them for his behavior over the year. Plus their families usually spent Christmas together since Snow White was Chad's (non-fairy) godmother. 
No one had mentioned anything about plans changing to him. 
Audrey gave them a tired look– as if almost asking 'really?' Before sighing and halfway giving in to their questions. 
"Grammy is still upset that Ben and I didn't work out, Ariana is smug about it and has a new prince boyfriend, and my parents, aunt, uncle, and fairy Godmothers are too busy to attend this year. And since I really don't feel like being criticized over every little thing this year with no one there to buffer it, I've decided to stay at school with Chad."
No one was quite sure how to react to her snappish response. But the vks– Evie especially– looked downright murderous. But instead of commenting after a few painfully long silent moments, Jay decided to prod some more. 
"And you can't just celebrate with Chad, why?"
Audrey shot the thief a harsh glare, confirming everyone's suspicions that she had been avoiding the question, before begrudgingly answering. "Because Chad has absolutely no motivation to decorate because this will be his first Christmas without his grandfather, Prudence, and Duke who died before the school year started since before he was adopted." 
Ben got a sinking feeling in his stomach as he glanced over at his oldest prince friend. Oh. Oh.  
Oh no. 
Suddenly the pudding on his own tray didn't seem as appetizing anymore. 
Surely he hadn't gotten so caught up in his kingly duties that he had forgotten to check in on his fellow prince to see if he was doing alright? And surely he had checked in on Audrey after the love spell wore off? 
Looking back at the events of the school year and Chad's and Audrey’s behavior made him realize that he had, in fact, dropped the ball on this one. But before he could say anything, Doug spoke up. 
"But, uh, why isn't Chad going home? Not that I don't understand he's upset—" he said quickly after the hard stare the princess gave him—"It's just that he and his family usually spend the holiday at Aunt Snow's with my family and Jane's, and besides Fg and Jane, no one's mentioned a change in plans."
Audrey gave a long sigh. "Doug, his sister has a heart condition, remember?"
He nodded, likely wondering—like the rest of them were—what Chloe had to do with anything. 
Audrey continued.
"Well, because of that, it's dangerous for her to get sick because it can weaken her heart more. So their parents decided that with the Pixie flu going around that it's best that they stay home. And since Chloe is going to be in bed and his parents are probably gonna continue to try and get the Tremaines off the isle nonstop even more than they did before your proclamation the entire holiday, Chad decided it's best he doesn't return either. You know, since he could get his sister sick and will probably just get overlooked while he's there. "
Doug caught on "which also means that we can't visit them at the castle cause we could get Chloe sick if we do. And Chad doesn't want to make Chloe feel bad by going anyway."
Ben swallowed. 
He hadn't thought about that.  
Suddenly Chad behavior paired with his unkempt hair and him still being in pajamas made much more sense. 
Chad was feeling forgotten again. And this time, only Audrey had been around to try and keep him out of it. 
It was like Chloe being born all over again, except this time no one had caught onto how he was feeling and people had actually died.  
And Audrey had been suffering in silence alongside him.  
He had to fix this. 
For both of them. 
So he said the first thing that came to mind "why don't you two come and celebrate it at my place?" 
Everyone stared at him like he'd grown another head. 
Chad looked up and Ben felt even more confident in his decision.
"Ben, I don't think that's a good idea," Audrey replied softly. 
"Why not? It's not like you haven't stayed at our place before."
"Your parents hate us."
Ben shook his head. "That's not true. Mom and dad love you guys and grandpa's been dyi–begging to see you two again. "
Audrey didn't know what to say to that and finally, Chad spoke up. 
"Well.... If you're sure they wouldn't mind, then we'd like that."
Ben grinned in response "I'm positive. Trust me."
The bell rang before the conversation could continue any further and as the group flooded out of the cafeteria, their moods lifted. 
🧑‍🎄🤶🎅🧑‍🎄🤶🎅🧑‍🎄🤶🎅🧑‍🎄🤶🎅🧑‍🎄🤶🎅🧑‍🎄🤶🎅
Big thanks to @eahravinqueen and @panthera-tigris-venenata for the help. Happy Holidays y'all.
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silentaura · 8 months ago
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basil
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♛ ¦ 𝐁𝐎𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐋 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒 . ( not accepting ) basil :   does your muse have a love - hate relationship with anyone or anything ?
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while not someone to necessarily . . . speak about her father ( it is a very sensitive and emotionally volatile topic for her ) , zelda's relationship with king rhoam is extremely strained and complicated . much of zelda's struggles with her low self esteem stem from how her father withheld his affection or approval from her . the way he has made his love conditional on her praying her power into existence since the age of 7 has scarred zelda deeply , alienating her emotionally .
and then . . . he speaks so proudly of who she could be . who she should be . and that's what fucks her up . is she the problem ?? likely . she's earned this hate .
zelda is completely voiceless around her father . silenced . her frustration with him has festered inside for so long that she loathes meeting his presence . she hates his attention . she hates him . . . but she still yearns to meet his expectations and earn his approval . she still respects him . and ultimately , the possibility of earning his love had her staying around , listening to what he told her to do . . . sacrificing much of her own happiness , health , and youth to fixing this love that has become conditional on her unlocking this power within . he is still her father . and she was always weak to this , because he was all she had .
now that he's passed and there isn't much hope for ever reconciling this woefully unhealthy relationship , this love-hate relationship has become a heavy guilt on her heart , because in her mind . . . the king died hating her . in fact , he died at the hand of her own inability to make him love her . and now she's going to live without remembering how it felt to be loved by her father . she hates him for that , because she's always loved him .
zelda is unfortunately forgiving . had the king ever actually apologized for how he'd treated her for 10 years . . . i don't doubt that she'd find compassion for him , even if it was at her own expense . he was doing his job as king . it had to be this way . she hadn't earned his approval , not while she failed to protect their people . she wants him to love her so badly , that he'd excuse all the damage he'd done to her . she'd give him another chance . she'd given him another and another --
its all quite sickening , honestly .
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prettyboykatsuki · 8 months ago
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BLOOD FEUDS, ANCIENT AND MODERN | RYOMEN SUKUNA.
✮ tags ; no curses au, blood incest, use of honorifics (oji-san) abuse (mostly verbal / emotional), classism, grooming / generally predatory behavior, large age gaps (20+ yrs), blood feuds, imbalanced power dynamics, white collar crime, afab + fem!niece!reader, uncle sukuna, the word rape used in text, non/dubcon (not noncon necessarily), fingering, petnames (little one, kid, little lamb), thigh-fucking, and other things, very horrible and gross sukuna behavior 18+
this is very dark and it deals BRIEFLY with sukuna being very predatory to reader when she's UNDERAGE / young. nothing explicit happens WHILE she is underage, but sukuna does leer at reader and it is mentioned. please proceed with caution !!!
PLEASE HEED THE TAGS BEFORE YOU PROCEED!!!
✮ wc ; 10.3k (???????????)
✮ a/n ; thank you vic @saintshigaraki for always indulging my nonsense and also tomfoolery. kissing you.
i'll be honest lads this one got away from me BAD jksdfhjs. i think its interesting at least.I KNOW THE TAGS ARE WICKED but i promise its like. kind of sexy at least.
also yes the title is from the rdr2 soundtrack shhh
✮ synopsis ; blood is thicker than water. resentment, you think, is thicker than both.
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Bastard.
An intimately familiar title, lacking tooth and effect. It's meaning eroded with time and usage - and a moniker you've wielded proudly for as long as you can remember. You don't recall much of your life before it became part of you.
The daughter born of wedlock. Bastard daughter. The only remaining stain to your family's reputation aside from your late father.
Your mother often tells you that you were her hardest child to birth. When you were littler it was a story relayed to you with affection, and but now it's with such bitter hatred you can feel it lodged in your throat.
The most important element is the predestination in it. You came into the world kicking and screaming, throat hoarse and violent. From birth, you knew you were half-forged with bad blood and came into the world trying to be absolved of it. It's shaped your life, your relationships, everything about you.
The other half of your DNA, the good half, is from your father. Before you were a bastard, you were your parents' only child. Your father was a good man. The best you know. An average, humble man. From a generation of other working class men with a tough job in construction. Your best memories come from when he was still alive.
A quiet life, untainted by the residual bitterness of your mothers heritage. You lived away from it, outside of it. The mother in your memories from back then seem like a dream now, some mirage from long ago - disinterested in anything but you and your father. Your mama and papa. Your father took good care of you both, and your mother loved him madly.
You lived as a normal family in a small apartment just outside of Gifu for the first seven years of your life. You attended a small local school and had friends with crooked teeth and messy hair.
Your childhood was mostly happy if you break it up into pieces like that. Blissfully uneventful.
There's a concise break of change of what your life was versus what became of it. Your fathers death the splinter in the wood, separating the two halves.
The worst of your childhood, of course, came in your fathers passing. Not just because of the loss, but what it made of your life. His funeral welcomed people of all walks of life with the most notable absence of your elusive mothers side of the family.
Another old memory you have with your mother is looking at her face during your fathers wake. The deep darkness of her eyes, sunken in and hollow. The first time you ever found her terrifying instead of comforting. While the world mourned your father, your mother—you think—mourned her life.
Forced into single motherhood with no prospects and no career, your mother decided it was best for the both of you to return home.
You think the worst of your life started there.
Your mother's side of the family has never welcomed you with open arms. You wouldn't come to know why until much later. You were a child then. There's no way you could've known about feuds that deep.
The only thing you knew was that you were hated vehemently, and nothing could change that.
Your grandmother's estate was always frightening to you in your childhood. You've yet to grow out of that feeling despite living there for the last fifteen years. It's remained unchanged since you moved in and the lights in the hall never seems bright enough. Jade green painted walls and white tile floors. Some rooms have classically Japanese flooring and heirloom paintings from the Heian era. Others modernized with sterile whites and grays and house plants that add no life to it at all. Stretched wide with tens of rooms, and easy for a child to get lost in.
A sinking abyss. A terrible place. A dark labyrinth. Anxiety inducing to even think about now. No place for a child your size or your age.
The best way to describe your childhood after your father died was cold. Removed from your life in the suburbs and placed among other rich kids, you became overtly self-conscious of the differences between you and them. Them being anyone who grew up wealthy and your other extended family. You were constantly reminded of your place as the bastard child. Later learning how your mother left her fiance many years ago for your father, your poor and worthless father.
(You theorize any warmth that your mother had for you was buried in your dead dads casket. Living there, among them, made sure she'd never find it again.)
Your mother is the most complicated part of your life. You don't have a time for when she gave up on raising you. There was a year when she tried, you think. For the most part, you lived in that house utterly alone. 
At first that abandonment was miserable (as it would be to any child, certainly) but a time came where you were glad you saw so little of her.
Your mother, who you had once loved and thought highly of, became a pitiful prey animal in the four walls of your grandmother's house. Small and anxious and utterly hateful. A bunny born with some cosmic knowledge and horrific understanding that its destiny is to become food for a wolf. Viciousness between her siblings, no doubt fostered by your grandparents and their establishment, tore apart the aspects of her your father mended and ruined her. You were too little to stop it. 
Blood feuds that ran bone-chillingly deep plagued most of the interactions with your extended family for as long as you've been a part of them. Your mother has exactly four siblings. Two sisters between her with her as the middle daughter, and two brothers. One of which is estranged so completely you don't know his name.
And the other being your Uncle Sukuna.
Your hatred for your aunts and their children came to you rather naturally. For every gala and ball and charity fund your worthless bloodline ever raised, came catty arguments and verbal abuse from the shallow mouths of your beloved cousins. You had nothing to prove to anyone in that house. You were detested since your birth and your grandparents made no small effort to show you through as much neglect and verbal lashing as they could get away with.
Rotten girl. Cursed daughter. You're the reason your mother is like this. You're the reason she is miserable. You should've been buried with your father.
Compared to the experience of your grandfather ripping into you at age ten for simply being alive, your cousin's commentary on you was remarkably uninteresting. You resented them for being nuisances, though, with the exception of maybe one who bucked it out of that place as soon as they could. Just like you planned too.
For a long time, Sukuna wasn't around enough to have a real presence in your consciousness. You tried not to think of your extended family more than you had too. You got used to not knowing about your relatives living there, but there was no one so elusive as him.
It was as if, increasingly, you heard whispers of his name at everything you were forced to attend.
The first time you ever meet your Uncle, you're freshly sixteen. It's the birthday party your mother throws for you each year in an effort to show how close the two of you are to the rest of your relatives.
The first time you see Sukuna in person, the only thing on your mind is how much he stands out from the rest of your relatives. He's a head taller than the tallest person there, and he's...bigger. He's not clean or neat, scruff lining his chin. Old, dark eyes. Visible tattoos that reek of disgraced son and hardly of prodigy.
At sixteen, you understood intimately what your family considered to be gold standard. Your uncle was antithetical to it. His very existence a paradox to the ideas you've had been hammered into you for years. Dyed hair, piercings, tattoos - his suit jacket undone to expose his chest. Lacking respect and formality and dignity. 
He was a lot like you. You got that impression, somehow.
When your eyes met with your uncles for the first time, you had your second fully formed thought about him.
Dangerous. Like an alarm. Like a ringing bell, throbbing through your skull and pulsing through your teeth. Some part of you just knew that he was a very dangerous man. Not just a wealthy one.
The first conversation you ever had with your uncle proves to be the most significant. Brief, yet - tonal in all ways. The gold standard for how he viewed you. How he would view you.
How he would treat you.
("So you're the new brat,"
Your uncle is an imposing man. You are sixteen and slightly tipsy, which is the least horrible thing you could be since your other cousin is coked out in the bathroom upstairs. You sway, staring at him. You think that's disrespectful.
He's the kind of man who might kill you for that. Might hit you. But you don't find it in yourself to challenge your defiance when you're far from sober and even father form happy. You lean your weight to one side and hum.
"New bastard," You correct him, and take another sip of the flute of champagne in your hand. "My worthless fathers, worthless daughter."
Sukuna pauses, his eyes widening before his lips break out into a grin. You wonder if it's because you're drunk. You think he's staring at you. Your eyes are too blurry to tell but you think he's gazing down the low dip of your top. At the curve of your chest. Leering at the body you've yet to even grow into.
"Tenacious," Your uncle says, and takes a long drink of his sake. You stare at the edge of his glass, carmine eyes gazing so deeply at you - you think you'll throw up. "You're your mothers daughter. Through and through.")
The night of your sixteenth birthday, your uncle announced he'd be opening a business venture in Tokyo. All this time he'd been doing work overseas, but seeing family helped finalized his decision. You remember the look on his face when he announced it. Remembered his eyes searching on you through the crowd as he held the mic up to his lips. How he named you the main reason, one conversation and he grew so fond of his little niece. That you were a clever girl, and that even though he hadn't known you long - he was sure you'd go so far.
Happy Birthday to you, little lamb.
You remember best the feeling afterwards. How the crowd went nearly silent. Hundreds of eyes darting your way in seas of strangers. All the attention people hadn’t paid suddenly mattering, all the congratulations. You remember how they crowded you and how your uncle came to your rescue with a cheeky grin and air of nonchalance.
You remember feeling sick. You remember the chill creeping up your spine, bile in your throat - all wet eyes and nausea.
Your uncle is a dangerous man. And you, the uninteresting bastard daughter, had caught his full attention.
The next four years of your life would pass so slowly, you often wondered during them, if you died that night and you'd live through these days as punishment for the crime of existing.
A little after your birthday, your uncle moved back to Japan permanently - in a residence not far from your grandmother's estate. He became a permanent fixture in your life. Many things came with that reality, none of them being especially pleasant.
You learn three things in the four years you spend with your uncle in your life.
The first is that your uncle is more powerful than you can really understand.
Through conversations at your kitchen table about his escapades abroad, you learn nothing of the work he actually does. Only what it involves, who it involves - foreign governments and people much more powerful than your family. Your uncle has ties to the Gojo family, and the Zenins'. Your time here teaches you that they make up two halves of private militarized arms and they work domestically and internationally. The only thing you need to know about them is they are filthy rich, richer than your own family and twice as corrupt.
And Sukuna works with them. Knows them rather intimately, from the pictures you've seen of Sukuna and Gojo Satoru drinking together - two prodigal sons with silver spoons and unsettling demeanors.
The second thing you learn is that your uncle's power and influence extend past all borders and include your grandparents and relatives. In the years he'd been away from home, he's garnered a formidable reputation. You never cared to notice it before, but it's all you can see now. Every arrogant, vapid relative you have the displeasure of calling family sees your uncle as some sort of king. The golden ticket to grandparents approval. A wishing well for all their hopes and dreams - so long as they appease him.
They fawn over him. Sukuna knows it. But they're all so busy trying to get on his good side they never catch his subtleties. Never seem to notice the cold sarcasm and biting edge to his questions. They pander and peacock to him constantly, but not one of them has sense enough to understand him a little deeper. Except you, incidentally. That's part of your problem
The third thing you learn about your uncle is that he takes pleasure in your cleverness no one in your life has since.... who knows? Since your father died, you think.
And you are clever. A head smarter than the rest of your family and a try-hard in all aspects. You graduated highschool top of your class and got scholarships into better schools. It was never about proving your worth of course, but about survival. You wanted away from this place, and the only way to cut your ties completely is to carve a life for yourself. Academia, education, using your name to make connections - you've been working silently on it since you were in middle school.
The only person who'd ever noticed your accomplishments was Sukuna. In between his work, he'd visit you in your room. You grew close in one sense of the word. It was a secret kept between you - but Sukuna often reminded you of it. That he saw you for who you were when no one else did. That his interest in you exceeds your own understanding, and it'd be in your best interest to remember that.
Some half-way between threats and affection, for four years - your uncle remained at your side. Uneasy as you were, he'd never try to advance on you while you were still in highschool. Some part of you knew he wasn't above it. Rather his interest hinged on getting to know you.
Your uncle is above all things manipulative.
Rather he preferred to keep you on your toes during the duration of your time together. To get close but not too close. To get to know each other openly. Your uncle made sure everyone in your family knew of his fondness for you. He'd keep you close to his side or follow you around, always in public places with a million eyes. He'd whisper to you, laughed and asked questions.
You hated being the center of attention, so Sukuna turned it on you any chance he got. It made it hard for you to refuse him, but mostly it made it hard to go under the radar without his protection. It made it hard for your relatives to insult and berate you.
You hated it. You hated accepting his kindness, because you know your uncle well enough to know that everything in the world came with a cost. And that this protection is little more than luxury, promised to you as long as you played nice.
And you always did play nice. But you were cautious. Never alone too long in the same room. Never somewhere too late. Never drunk, never high. Always within distance of a door. Sukuna was a dangerous man, and you may be a bastard but you're no fool.
It'd work for years. You evaded any real alone time with him for years. Years.
Until earlier this year where your mother had made arrangements for you to spend the summer with your dear old Uncle - in his villa, far from the safety of Japan's main island.
In the years of your uncle's favoritism towards you, no one has been more pleased than your mother. You've come to hate her for it. Your relationship hasn't been good in years and for her to suddenly attempt to be your mother again felt like a mockery.
(It mostly felt like a betrayal. You didn't think she could betray you a second time after she all but abandoned you the minute she stepped foot in that house.
Like something possessing the corpse of the mama in your dreams, your seething hatred towards her started then you think.)
You'd spent years indifferent to her, but it was this change that made you hate her down to your bones. You were furious about the decision. Furious she didn't bother asking, furious about all of it.
About everything.
An entire summer alone with the man you know to be most dangerous to you. You wouldn't put it past Sukuna, to plan this around you - but it didn't make it any less frustrating.
("You'll be going with your uncle," Your mother says, hardly listening to you. There's a baby on her hip, your half-brother and a vacant look in her eyes. You feel your jaw tighten. "We've already made plans. Your stepfather,"
"Your husband." You correct. Your mother gives you a tight-lipped smile.
"We are going on a family vacation. Your grandparents wouldn't tolerate you here alone , so you're going and that's final."
"I don't need to live with you," You seethe, fighting the urge to grab her and punch her. You've never been violent. Your mother makes you homicidal. "I can find my own fucking place, I'm twenty I don't need-"
She slams something. Your half-brother makes watery eyes. She stares at you distantly, righteously angry. Whether she's earned that anger or not, it makes your mood worse. .
"This is the least you could for me. For us." She hisses, turning around. You think of killing her. "For all the shit you put me through."
"What I put you through? Fuck you," You admit, your throat burning like a star falling through the atmosphere. Then, through a shaky breath"There's something off about him, mom. Do you understand what I'm fucking saying? Where you're sending me?
Three expressions pass over her face. The ghost of grief, some kind of solace and then more vacancy. She swallows, turns around to keep folding baby clothes. Her voice trembles. She knows she's sending you to your doom. Knows what waits for you as soon as you go.
"You're going. We need this." She says, and still doesn't turn to look at you. Her voice is so frigid it doesn't sound like hers anymore. "That's final."
You shouldn't be shocked by it anymore, but it doesn't make it easier.
You slam the door on your wait out. You hope their plane crashes on the way there.)
You tried your best to worm your way out of the situation before the semester closed out. But Sukuna, three steps ahead of you at all times, made sure that wasn't possible. Your uncle owned a villa out on an island, private - and the bags had already been packed. You'll like it there, he assured you so many times, it's comfortable. There's a good view and the kids in the place will remind you of the kids you grew up with.
(It's hard not to notice the ways in which Sukuna tempts you into wanting to go. Though there's nothing, truly, that could make the experience a pleasant one - it's posed to appeal to you. A place to remind you of your childhood. You try not to think about it.)
Despite your protests, despite your vehement frustration - there was nothing you could do but go. If you didn't go with Sukuna, it'd be enduring 3 months alone with your grandparents. You could try to crash with friends but the friends you've made so far wouldn't dream of being so polite and you dare not think of burdening your childhood friends with your family problems. They deal with enough as is.
The last option was running away. You're desperate enough to entertain it. You do, several times - considering what the worst outcome could be. All scenarios end with Sukuna coming to find you, because he's crazy and connected like that. Even if he's deliberate in not displaying those parts of himself, you know his apathy to be a facade.
You know him well. He knows you well. It feels like a competition to see who can outsmart the other that you were forced into with no say.
So, come the end of your third year of college - a driver picks you up right as your finals are finished to take you to the airport. A private jet, a nauseating display of wealth just for your uncle to torment you with you're sure.
On the plane ride to a small island on the coast of Japan, you think to yourself that all gods in the world must've abandoned you before you were ever born.
__
The first few weeks of your stay in the island of Nii-jima prove to be uneventful.
For a small island, it's still governed through something related to Tokyo. It's not the city or even the country, some quiet and relaxing in between. There are people here who've lived for generations and others who are only touring. Your uncle's villa though, is far from all life - and a few miles out from a beach.
You can hardly understand what a single man needs such a big house for. There's staff there too, though less than at your grandparents place which you're grateful for. You've met six of eight, two of them people who take care of the yards and garden.
Sato-san is the woman you see most often. The one cook Sukuna has and the woman who's been working longest. She is kindhearted and sturdy, often bringing her grandchildren with her. She's quiet and motherly - and so warm you're unsure of how to behave around her. Your uncle is seemingly fond of her which is saying a lot. She speaks highly of him. 
It's been so long since you've experienced something like maternal warmth, you're awkward around her. You try to not be too attached, try not to be fond of anything in this house because you know something horrible and dormant lies within it and you do not want to stay. Don't even want to entertain the idea of staying.
But Sato-san is good to you, with wrinkles and sunspots and a bright laugh. Her grandchildren are so well-behaved you wonder about how they were raised. A girl about seven and a boy about four, always quiet and inattentive. You've grown fond of them too, despite how bad you normally are with children. They're easy to be around.
You're frustrated mainly because you don't hate being here. The people are kind and welcoming and everyone locally is pleasant and good. You've been in the city too long, with insane people too long, and everything feels refreshing. The bus here is free and you can be at the beach whenever you like. You've made friends here - organically, with no strings attached. .
For the first time in your twenty years of living, you even have a guy you think is cute. It seems small, but back home everyone knows who you are. You've never had a relationship work out for one reason or another, but here? Here no one knows you, and the boy you meet at the beach with his friends is just a boy.
You don't want to like being here, but you do - and you don't want Sukuna to come back and he will. Nothing ever works out for you.
The worst of your luck you think builds on the edge of that thought.
You come home tonight doing a lot of things you would not normally. 
For one, you've gotten yourself drunk. The reason being the cute boy aforementioned invited you down to the beach with his friend. You justified going thinking if you were going to be miserable all summer - a single good memory wouldn't kill you.
You had fun. Your swimsuit is underneath your short skimpy clothes, and you sat in his lap and made-out with him all evening. Got to pretend you were a normal girl and you got to kiss for the first time. You still reek of alcohol and his cheap cologne. Blissfully uneventful. 
When you stumble into the foyer of the house with blurry vision and hear the T.V. playing, you know it instinctively that peace is going to be short-lived. You know that your uncle is home, and that he was waiting for you.
All the hairs on your neck raise. A shift in the atmosphere makes it hard to think clearly. Your lungs barely get enough oxygen in them to keep you upright. You think of leaving. You think of running up marble stairs to your room in hopes he won't catch you.
"Brat," Is yelled from the living room. Right, as if you'd ever get so lucky. You jump in your skin. "You home?"
Your stomach churns. You feel sick.
"Come to the living room."
You go obediently when Sukuna calls you, trying not to stumble over your two feet.You don’t think there’s more options than fearful compliance. 
Your uncle is watching Scarface on the big flatscreen on the TV. The subtitles are on in Japanese though you don't think he needs them. He only barely turns his head to look at you, his interest piqued when he sees what you're wearing.
You feel sixteen again, self-conscious of your body and womanhood. He hides it even less than he did the first time - the leering. He notices your skimpy shorts and top, the bottom of your bikini. And he grins, and stares but doesn't say anything.
"Oh?" He says, calm and casual, glancing back at the T.V. "Finally went and had some fun did you? Thought all that studying turned you into a bookish little shut-in permanently."
You don't say anything, arm clutching your other self-consciously.
"Did you need something?"
He snickers, low and predatory. "Come on. You're here to spend time with me so let's spend time together."
You don’t bother asking where he’s been for the last few weeks.  Your gut churns, feet heavy as they drag you to the far end of the couch. Sukuna stares as you sit hesitantly. You have no doubt he's going to make you move, but he's kind enough to leave you alone for now.
"Have fun on your..." He gives you another knowing look then laughs. "Outing?"
You aren't sure how to respond. "Just drank with some friends."
"Friends," He mimics, feeling the words out in his mouth. "The kind of friends that smudge the lipstick off your mouth, huh brat?"
You flush suddenly, embarrassed - and Sukuna barks a laugh. You don't know what he's expecting you to say there so you opt for nothing.
"Sorry," Is the only thing you can manage. Placating. He lets out a puff of air through his nose and relaxes further. There's an air to him, of nonchalance, that unsettles you more than if he was angry or unpleasant. Your throat bobs.
"You're a big girl now," He comments - sleazy and indignant. His indecency towards you, about you glints like a star. A sharp canine and piercing red eyes examine you from his peripherals. "Now that you're showing off it's only natural boys flock to you, hm?"
You can't explain the way this comment makes you feel. So much said with so little. The gap between is and has always been miles wide except sometimes it's not. Your uncle is unusual. Cold-blooded, manipulative, ruthless. There's no warmth in him in a comfortable, loving way. 
There's even less of a normal relationship between you.
But you both exist in this space with... similar awareness. Of the world. Of yourselves. There's a conscious intelligence to him that's reflected in you - that you are both fractured parts of your grandparents bloodline in two separate bodies. That self-awareness affords him a presence. In your mind. In your fear.
You are undoubtedly related. Sukuna revels in that.
It’s rare to see that kind of awareness in your family. You’ve never felt threatened by people dumber than you, even if they had more power or money. Vapid and shallow and useless - there’d never been anything that could win you on. It might sound cocky, but it’s true. It’s been true. 
It’s why Sukuna frightens you. He has everything, but above all - he’s smart. And hard for you to read. 
You swallow, shakily - your eyes looking down at your hands. In a profoundly long beat of silence, the movie plays. A fair bit of gunshots echo through the loud speaker and they startle you.
"You scared? Come sit closer, then." He tells you, less than asks you.
You stand and sit next to him, still a distance away. Sukuna remains unmoving. You don't know what to do with yourself.The silence seems to stretch for miles and minutes. Sukuna just watches the T.V. and stares at his phone - occasionally answering messages. You stay like that for a long time. 
"Need a smoke," He says, and it's not really directed at you. "Maybe later. Wouldn't wanna make you sick."
"People smoke around me all the time."
"Do you smoke?"
You shake your head, too tipsy to lie. He laughs at that. "Not even weed?"
You don't bother mentioning legality, you both know it doesn't matter between your lineage.
"Don't like the taste."
"How interesting. What a straight-edge kid. Most I've seen you get is drunk and this is the drunkest I've ever seen you. Still sober enough to talk clearly though."
"I just drink socially,"
"Ohh," He says, and then grins a little sharper. "A little shot of courage to fuck that little college boy then?"
This makes you jolt. "We didn't fuck—"
"No?" He looks genuinely surprised at this, though it's mild. "Poor kid must've wanted too if you came around him wearing that. Unless he came in his pants soon as you sat on him. Boys that age do stuff like that,"
The comment about his age reminds you of how old your uncle really is, and something in your chest flares hot.
"It wasn't that either—I've never-"
He cuts you off. "You're a virgin?"
You flush, stopping yourself from answering and he laughs.
"Ohhh, that's good. Very good," He grins, so genuinely pleased it makes you shiver. "I like virgins. Easy to please."
"That's—It wasn't for you."
For the first time in your relationship, Sukuna bridges the gap between you. He sits up and forward, his hand finding the bare skin of your knee. He rests it there, his thumb circling the flesh.
"Don't touch me," You hiss. Sukuna tightens his grip, but not threateningly. He turns to look at you that time, and you can't help but look back.
There's something in his degeneracy that horrifies you. It's fondness, you think. Genuine fondness.
"You sure?" He licks his teeth in a way that reminds you of a wolf. But not one that's starving. There's no desperation in his actions, but a self-assurance. Wolves don't often survive alone, but Sukuna has. And he hungers with the confidence of a predator who has killed all that stand before him. That's never been told no to what he wants to eat.
Your heart stops. Your voice a low whisper. "Stop,"
"You say that but you came in the house looking all desperate for sex and approval. You always look like that. Have for a little longer than what's normal for a girl your age,"
"I don't look like that!"
"You would've fucked that little college twerp if you stayed wouldn't you? Nothing wrong with honesty, brat."
Before you have a chance to understand what goes on around you, Sukuna changes position. You've never gotten a chance to feel and experience how strong he is - not like the way he's manhandling you now. You gasp at the arm around your waist and back. He pins you to the couch in a swift motion, not sure how he's done it, the alcohol making you dizzy.
Sukuna has never crossed the boundary with you like this before. Your heart is thumping loud, beating against your ribs. The source of it eludes you. If it's fear or discomfort or some other thing entirely causing such noice. 
There's a certain blase in his attitude that makes you forget momentarily about the taboo and gives way just to the tension between you. You feel it for the first time with his body pressed against you, all hot and heavy. He smells of cologne, but it lacks the acidity cheap ones tend to have. There’s strong hints of cigarettes and aftershave accompanying it. Appearance wise, he has lines in his face like a man in his forties. 
You don't know what's wrong with you. With a relationship so fucked up from the start, you thought crossing this line would feel different. You think you want to throw up, but you're completely calm. 
You want to be disgusted. You want to thrash and kick and scream and fight. You squirm away from him, the threads of what's left of your moral conscience urging you to do so. Like a last ditch effort to keep you sane. 
But there's just. Something. Something so inevitable about it that your heart doesn't beat at all. The panic itself feels hollow in nature. You are a rotted log and Sukuna has ripped the soft wood out of you with relative ease. But you’ve been that way for a long time, and nothing hurts. Not really.  
It's relieving in the worst way. 
"Get away from me,” You whisper again with noticeably less fight. Sukuna looks at you bright-eyed.
"You're a good kid," He says. The genuine praise knocks the air out of your lungs. That disgusts you more than anything else happening between you so far. "Interesting. A lot brighter than the other kids in our family."
Our family. You wince. .
"Stop, this is—" You don't know what word to use. He's your uncle and you're his niece and he's been gazing at you like this for god knows how fucking long. "Stop."
"You've got something going on behind your eyes at least, even if you're still just a wet-nosed and angry little housecat," He says, staring down at you. He's so imposing. His facial hair and his various tattoos. Everything about him, down to his bones. "But I can't tear my eyes away from you at the same time. You know that?."
You do know that. You cast your gaze away.
"I applaud how cautious you've been. But it didn't make a difference in the end. You know that too, right?"
You don't say anything.
"Clever little lamb you are, indeed. I like that about you." He hums, leaning down closer to you. His face is inches from yours. "You should be smart enough to know how this ends. But you know, you've been so entertaining to me this whole time I feel like I should at least be a little nice. So I'll offer you something. A deal of sorts, we can even write it on paper."
This catches your interest and he knows it does. He knows. You’re cut from the same cloth. And this place has made you lose your character, just like it always does. So if it means your survival and sanity or your morals, one comes before the other.
He grins at you.
"Come stay with me. Here in Nii-jima and back at my estate at home. I'll take care of your expenses and whatever else. I have better connections than the old hag," He says, leaning down even closer to you. You can smell him. He's intoxicating "You can be away from everything. I'll even let you have boyfriends and girlfriends over. You can throw sleepovers. I don't care. You can do whatever you want."
"What's in it for you?"
You can feel his knee press up against your cunt through your shorts and you gasp, hand going up to his shoulder. "This. Been thinking about this tight little cunt for a while now. You'd have to be at my beck and call. We'd be the closest uncle and niece in all of Japan," He snickers.
You wince at the reminder. You hate yourself for considering it. "Why me? There are plenty of women who are dying to fuck you."
He scoffs a little. 
"Once we get you a little farther from the trenches kid, you might start to understand me. Wealth, fortune, fame - all of it's fucking boring. I came back to Japan prepared to leave again but you made me stay. Not much more to it than that."
"You're fucking your blood-niece out of curiosity? Your sister's daughter?"
"My sister never did anything good with her life except marrying your father and making you." Sukuna says, and laughs lightly. You hate how validated it makes you feel. Your skin crawls. "I'll have to thank her for it. She'll be pleased.
You make a face at him, uncertainty. Apprehension. Fear. Frustration. Everything you’ve been compartmentalizing comes bubbling to the surface and making your head feel weighted with lead. You want to kill everyone and everything including him. You want to run away from this place. You want to go home, though you don’t know where that would be anymore. They demolished your old apartment years ago. 
You think spending a few years getting fucked and used might be less miserable than the suffocation of living with your mother and your baby brother and your grandparents. How much abuse you’ve endured already vs. what awaits you when their true heir starts to walk and talk horrifies you. 
You look at him. 
“You’re horrible.” 
“Tell me something new.” 
“I hate you. I don’t…want this. Any of this. I want to go home.” 
You’re just venting. Really. You’ve made the choice already. 
“Has there ever been a time where it’s been about what you want? I doubt it. But if you stay with me, appease my wishes for a while, well,” He laughs confidently. “You’ll get something, at least. Better than what you have.” 
“The contract. Are you serious about that?” 
He laughs at you. “Sure. If it makes you feel better, you can draft it and I’ll just have my lawyer sign. Bring your defenses. Whatever. Don’t really care as long as I get what I want.” 
“And that’s me?” 
“Seems like it,” 
You purse your lips. It seems like a rash decision to make in the moment, but truthfully your heads never felt so clear. Even with the alcohol. 
“...Fine.” 
Sukuna hums when you agree. It feels anti-climatic somehow. Not that he’s not expecting your yes but that you’ve come to accept it so easily. It’s not like this takes away from the coercion, from the awful feeling of being violated. Sukuna was going to rape you whether you liked it or not. This way, at least, you get something out of it. This way it’s something you choose. Something tangible results from your inevitable doom - the fate your mother damned you to. 
It affords you some plausible deniability too. In truth, you’re afraid for yourself. You’re afraid of what will happen when he finally does cross the line completely. You’re afraid you’re going to accept it, that it’s going to feel pleasurable, that years of repressing yourself will come back to make sure you never return to normalcy. 
What will become of you when Sukuna has his way with you? Will you become a more apathetic version of yourself? Is it possible? Will you sober and feel like scrubbing your skin clean in the shower? 
The worst outcome, you think, is nothing so horrible happening. The worst outcome is knowing you’ve fallen far enough for none of it matters at all. 
Sukuna grins down at you. “What a well-behaved niece I have. Good girl. You’ll do well living with me.” 
You make a displeased face at him, but your breath catches in your lungs soon after. Your uncle leans in to kiss you and you close your eyes trying to get away from it. But it’s true that your body has been burning up from the inside since you came back home - a dull throbbing between your legs turning you all kinds of stupid. 
When Sukuna kisses you - your first thought is that he’s unexpectedly gentle. 
You didn’t think he’d care about kissing to begin with. In your head you thought he’d tug off your shorts brutishly and fuck you without any prep. You were readying yourself for tears and pain, for screaming and crying - the sharp sobs of your own voice piercing your ears. 
A gentle press of lips startles you from your drunk haze. You can feel the scruff of Sukuna’s face on your own, your arms wrapping around his neck instinctively. The taste of cigarettes and something else mildly smokey fill your mouth and make you dizzy. Sukuna tastes like kissing a man - or what you might’ve imagined that to be like. Not a boy, but a man. You feel his strength, your hands splaying at the base of his neck and feeling the faded undercut of his neck, the texture of his dyed hair. His weight shadows you, his strength making you feel fluttery. 
He doesn’t tease you all during the kiss like you’re expecting. Nothing goes the way you expect. He kisses you in slow, short pecks and escalates to his tongue dipping against your lips - a little added element to his deep kisses. He kisses like he’s been doing it for longer than you have, with experience and finesse. You’re all but too conscious of everything little thing. About the sounds you make, about knowing when to breathe, about trying not to get wrapped up in the pleasant euphoria. 
All you can think about is how good he is at it. Effortlessly good. You think part of you latches onto it to avoid thinking about what’s happening. Denial feels pleasurable at least. 
You kiss like that for so long, your lips have swollen - sticky with spit and saliva. Sukuna has a self-satisfied smirk on his face when he pulls away from you, laughing at the flush in your expression. 
You hit him lightly, looking away from his face. 
“It’s a wonder you’ve kept your virginity,” He says, chuckling. “A kiss and a dirty old man like me could’ve taken it from you.” 
“Shut up,” Your reply is weak. He laughs against your mouth, and you can’t get over the intimacy of it. You hope you’re deluding yourself but then he kisses the corner of your mouth. Hot, warm air tickles against your jaw and neck when he presses his lips there too and suddenly it occurs to you how real it is. 
You don’t think your uncle is capable of warmth or love or anything that doesn’t come from coercion. But fondness. Maybe fondness. 
He spends more time doing that than what’s comfortable. Relishes the feeling of you in his arms, his bulge grinding against your clothed cunt but not forcefully. Just with enough pressure to make you gasp once in a while when you don’t have a mind to fight it. 
“I won’t take your virginity tonight,” He says declaratively. It surprises you. “You’ve got three months with me. It’d be boring. I’ll give you something else.” He looks at you then, then grins impishly. “What do you want?” 
Your eyes widen, suddenly unsure of yourself. You push away, brought back to reality by the questions. 
“How would I know?” 
He blinks at you. “I know you said you were a virgin, but did you really mean in everything?” 
You pout at him all of a sudden. “So what. I didn’t have that kind of time.” 
Sukuna barks a laugh. 
“Huh. I thought you were a goody two-shoes out of necessity but you really don’t do a damn thing in that house. Not even a boyfriend to do hand stuff with?” 
“Ugh. No, alright? I don’t have time for that kind of thing like I just said.” 
He laughs a little breathless, sitting up for a minute. You’re wondering what it means for you. Sukuna pulls you up along with him. He sits down again with his legs spread before looking at you. He pulls you into his lap with relative ease, until you’re half-way pressed into him with your legs over his thighs. You stare at him, feeling more exposed in this position. You get a closer view of his neck tattoo, realizing how far down his back it must go. You go to ask him what he’s doing - but he’s undressing you before you can. 
Confident, large hands trapeze down your back as he finds the end of your overwear and pulls it off - leaving you in the microkini you wore to the beach. It barely covers your nipples. You made the choice to wear it, yet seeing Sukuna examine it so closely leaves you wallowing and regretful. Still, he’s silent as he does something similar with your jean-shorts. A hand lifting your legs up enough to roll the cheap, denim shorts and discard them right on the marble floors. 
You’re still half-way over his lap - sitting on his thighs but you’re naked now.
You feel yourself growing self-conscious. Never mind that it’s the first time anyone’s seen you this naked, who exactly you’re showing it to makes you want to throw up. He stares for so long you wonder what he’s thinking, a lazy grin splitting his face. A hand nudges your thighs apart, moving your leg to give Sukuna more access to you. With an arm around your waist, his hand cups your cunt, rubbing it softly. You shift nervously. His thumb moves then, rests at the hood of your clit, pulling up to look closer at it. You hold back any noise as he examines you, bent pointer of the opposite hand brushing over the hair on your skin with a laugh. 
“Unexpectedly, it’s pretty,” He says and your eyes shoot wide open. “Good job brat.” 
“What are you,” You pant, your breath hitching as you close your eyes.”staring so much for it?” 
“It’s mine to stare at.”
You don’t think of your uncle as particularly possessive. It’s more like he believes in that so much, so unshakingly nothing else could be true. You wonder if there’s more to it. He didn’t seem angry even after you told him about seeing a boy. 
But comparing the two, Sukuna outclasses him in all ways that it should matter. He must be confident about that. 
He spreads your thighs a little further. You’re half tucked into his side now - an arm around the back of his neck and shoulders. Sukuna ducks down a little, nudging his nose against your neck and scraping his teeth lightly against your throat. He doesn’t do much other than… touch you. Not directly. His other hand, the one not secured around your waist, rubs at your pussy but not in an attempt to pleasure you. It’s exploratory and intimate. He’s just touching you in a way that’s making you restless. And the angle he’s bent down, the proximity gives you a better view of him. From the side where you sit in his lap, you can see the tattoo again. 
You shudder then, pussy suddenly clenching in a way that leaves you ashamed. Your uncle notices, though he doesn’t look up. 
“Thought of something, brat?” 
“No.” You deny, vehemently. He spanks your pussy but not hard. You jolt in reply, a shock traveling up your spine. 
“C’mon now,” He hums, predatory. “Don’t lie. That’s not fun.” 
“Y-your tattoo,” You say, suddenly feeling the influence of alcohol in a way you hadn’t all evening. “It’s…big.”
“Into bad boys or something, kid?” 
You frown. “You look like a yakuza.” 
This makes him laugh, more genuinely than you’ve ever seen him laugh. “Getting warmer, I guess.” 
You don’t say anything to that. Instead spurred by the sudden confidence. “Why aren’t you…touching me?” 
He looks at you surprised then tilts his head. “Is that what you want? 
“I don’t want any of this but it,” You squirm again. “Feels weird.”
“Sounds like you want something, at least. Go on, tell your oji-san what you want.” 
You scrunch your nose up at him, a familiar feeling of disgusting flitting through you. It fades as quickly as it comes.
“I’ve never put a-anything inside,” You admit, suddenly feeling self-conscious. 
“That so,” He hums. His middle finger slides down the wet seam of your cunt as you tell him this. You nod but you don’t think he’s really listening. His hand is warm, and big - and his fingers are thicker than yours. One of yours may as well make two of his, no end to how imposing he is. You don’t protest as he starts to touch you. You simply take a deep breath, holding onto him a little tighter. 
With your head turned towards him, Sukuna leans in again to kiss you. It’s deep from the beginning this time, and a little rougher. He bites lightly on your lower lips as his middle finger dips down towards your sex. Your insides are throbbing, hot and wet as you feel some friction. It’s the first time anyone else has ever held you in your life, every touched you directly like this. Against your will, your body is sensitive to the stimulus. Everywhere he touches you goes alight, and the kiss makes your tummy flutter. A tender feeling of want spreads you open, tears you apart right in front of him. 
With parted lips and a heavy head, you kiss him as his middle finger dips down low enough to penetrate you. A soft gasp pulls from your throat. 
It doesn’t feel unpleasant.
“I thought it was going to hurt more.” You admit, feeling him inside of you. It’s a new sensation but it’s not bad. 
“It shouldn’t hurt if you’re aroused enough. And wet enough. You seem to be both.” 
You frown at him, face pinching. It’s washed away quickly by the sensation of him pushing deeper. It’s hard to describe it as anything other than feeling something inside of you. Deep in a place you didn’t think it could go. You shake a little, trying to get adjusted. Sukuna does it carefully, slowly - thrusting in even strokes and keeping you focused on kissing so you’re not too conscious of it. 
He’s not thoughtful, not really - but you can tell that he’s going slower for your sake and that makes your heart stammer uncomfortably. The last word you’d ever use for him is kind but he’s not being horrible and it’s unsettling you. 
Once one finger goes in and out smoothly, your uncle starts to add another. You feel it that time, the stretch of it - gasping hard at the sudden sensation. Your breath catches in your lungs, hand clutching at his shoulder for purchase. He pulls away from your mouth, his breath near your ear. 
“Easy, little one. Give it a minute.” 
“It feels different. It’s,” You can’t form the words as two fingers penetrate you in full, slowly being eased inside of you until Sukuna is knuckle deep. Your breath hitches. “Not like it hurts.” 
“It’ll feel good in a second.” He says assuredly, voice smooth and raspy against your ear. You feel combative at his confidence, but then a minute passes of him rubbing along your insides and something strikes against you like lightning. You pause, blinking confused as Sukuna laughs. “There it is,” 
“There what is?” 
“C’mon kid, I know you’re too busy with school but you don’t know something so basic about your own body?” 
“What is it, oh.” 
His other hand toys with your clit, rubbing it in slow circular motions as he gauges your reaction to the touch. You jolt from the sudden pleasure, getting used to it slowly. You didn’t realize how badly it was throbbing to be touched until he does it in full. Your mouth dries up immediately. Little shocks of electricity spark up through you as his hands go full in on your body. The combined pleasure starts to uptick, something building slowly but surely. It goes from not feeling like much to feeling like something. Feeling physical. 
Your mouth drops open in sudden shock, eyes lidded as you moan unabashedly - unable to keep the sound at bay. You own a vibrator, use to cum quick and hard just to curb the feeling. You’ve had orgasms on your own but nothing has ever felt like this before. It’s undeniably satiating, mimics the feeling of eating something and nearly making yourself sick on it. You go slack-jawed, your nerves on fire. 
Two fingers curled against your silken walls and another two toying at the sensitive bundle of nerves between your legs leaves little room in your brain to think. The only thing your body seems to remember is how to moan and whine - make these pathetic little noises you’ve never heard in your life. You didn’t even know you could make. Oddly enough, Sukuna is quiet through it. He makes grunts and little affirmatives but he’s mostly silent. You mostly hear the sound of your own voice. 
The sound of your own wetness. You can feel the sticky sensation of your arousal but you can hear it even better. It’s lewd to listen too, wet smacks mixing with the pathetic bleats of your voice make you feel hot all over. Skin prickling with heat and sensation. 
“I knew you were sensitive but haah. If I would’ve fucked you today, you would have cried.” 
The thought drifts idly by about his cock and your whole lower half reacts to it by going weak. It aches just thinking about anything bigger or longer entering you than his fingers. 
“Figure an insolent little kid like you isn’t much of a crybaby. I’m sure I can make you one.” 
You don’t even think about asking what he means. 
“Feels,” You make a gasping noise, body suddenly going tense. “Hngh, fuck. Feels so good, holy fuck.” 
He groans a little. “I’m being too nice to you. I really should be balls deep in your cunt already and I’m not. You gonna cum for me, huh brat?” 
You nod your head dumbly, unable to retort. To think of anything but the sensation washing over you.”Go on. Do it. Cum for your perverted oji-san.”  
Something about the depravity of it sets your mind numb. Your body goes tight, every nerve firing off at once as you grip onto his shoulder and let the feeling of euphoria wash over you. Your whole body is so stimulated it’s numbing. The feeling of pleasure crashes into you, leaves your spine arching - mouth dropped open and nearly screaming. Your sanity melts, fades off completely and your brain feels like it’s gone empty. You close your eyes so hard little splashes of white show up in your vision, like you’re seeing T.V. static. 
You think you scream. You don’t know. You just know that you’re cumming, hard, just from his hands and you’re terrified of what else he’s good at. You don’t think it boils down to sensitivity as the waves of your first orgasm ripple through your body. 
You lay in his arms, sweaty and limp. Your vision is blurry with tears as you open them to look at him. Sukuna is rubbing your side, taking his fingers into his mouth. You look at him surprised as he does. He grins. 
“Tastes good, kid.”
You flush. “Shut up.” 
“Don’t think I’m done with you quite yet.”
Sukuna guides your hand to his pants, over his bulge. You gasp a little at it. His size through clothes is astounding to you. 
“I’m not so generous to leave with nothing, you know.” He pats your thigh, moving you from his lap. “I’ve got a better idea than trying to teach you anything today, so try to hold still.” 
You don’t know what he’s talking about until he guides you on the floor. You’re confused until you feel him position you  - facing towards the couch with your knees spread on the floor. In doggy, you realize a little too late, your upper-half supported by the couch cushion. You feel more confused than you felt a moment ago. 
Sukuna positions himself behind you. You can’t see him, but you can hear the soft rustle of his clothes moving as he stands on his knees behind you. More than that, you can feel his cock resting on your bare ass. You gasp, feeling the weight and size slide against your curves. Sukuna does a breathy little laugh at your reaction. He’s huge. 
“Don’t cry kid. I told you I wasn’t gonna put it in tonight and I meant that,” He hums. His hands come to your hips, all of a sudden pushing them together. “Push your thighs together as tight as you can.” 
You listen to him. You can do it with some effort despite how weak your body feels. You lean forward on the couch for support, bringing your knees together and pressing your thighs. You don’t understand what it’s for until something hard pressing along your spine moves down the curve of your ass. You gasp aloud as his thick cock pushes between your thighs, tip catching against your swollen clit. Your whole body is covered in goosebumps. Sukuna moans low in his throat, resting his head on your shoulder. 
“Fuck, that’s it.” He hums, sounding pleased. “Keep them tight for me, alright girl? Try to at least.” 
Sukuna is wordless as he grips your hips, your flesh dimpling under his bruising grip. You're silent, your voice threatening to spill again as you try your best to listen to him. You keep yourself tight and firm, your hands gripping the couch cushions as Sukuna pushes his cock between the fat of your thighs and starts a pace.
The angle makes you gasp, body feeling weak at the way it touches your clit with each bump. Sukuna doesn’t hold back at all. You’re not being penetrated but the weight behind each of his thrusts makes you feel like you’re being fucked. The bruising sensation of skin against skin - the hard muscles of his own legs smacking against the softness of your thighs. 
Most embarrassing is the way the position makes you conscious of your uncle's cock. You knew he was huge before, but the way he’s thrusting. Where it reaches when he does thrust makes your throat feel nearly tight. You can’t stop thinking about the fact it’ll be inside you. You can’t imagine taking it in your hands - the girth and length of it fucking impossible. And he wants to fuck you with it? Take your virginity? 
He’ll stretch you so open if he does. You can barely think of it fitting in you. When you do, your whole body shudders in a horrible and pathetic way - a new wave of arousal striking a strange chord. As he bumps and ruts against your clit and your mind fills with such lewd images, a new wave of lust starts to pour through you. 
It’s unhelped by the feeling of Sukuna’s cock - getting so close. The throbbing with each thrust and the low, throaty groans he keeps vocalizing against your ear. All of it proves to be too much for you. It shocks you when you feel yourself grow hot all over again. Not even being touched directly and so soon after your first - a mere few minutes. 
And you find yourself with all your muscles tight, your hand reaching back for Sukuna as you plant your face against the cushions and let him fuck hard between your thighs. You feel incoherent, stupid and so fucking horny. You’ve never experienced it. You can’t think of what to moan, so you choose his name. 
This makes him laugh as he bends over you, his teeth biting your shoulder blades. 
“Gonna cum again from this brat? Aren’t you fucking easy? Come on, cum with me. Just like that, take it. Fuck, that’s it. Good. Good girl.” 
It’s the last bit of tension that pushes you over the edge, whether you care to admit it. Your voice breaks as a second orgasm washes through you - more intense but much shorter than the first and you nearly fall limp. You only barely manage to hold yourself up as your uncle keeps thrusting relentlessly. 
You can feel him twitch hard between your thighs when his orgasm finally hits. You shake as you feel him squish the tip between your thighs - hot ropes of cum spurting against the swollen mound of your cunt and dripping down your thighs as he finishes. He smacks your ass as he finishes, making you yelp. Your whole body is rife with exhaustion, finally coming down from high-highs and low-lows. 
“We’re gonna have a lot of fun together for the next few months kid,” He says, almost affection in his words. You’re too exhausted to reply, looking at him over your shoulder. “Let’s get along and do our best.” 
“You’re a sick-fuck, oji-san.” 
“And you’re a whole lot like me, aren’t you kid?.” 
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itneverendshere · 7 months ago
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a circus ain't a love story - baby daddy! rafe.
request: "baby daddy! rafe where reader and rafe are not together and she’s going on dates with men and he’s jealous but not like possessive jealous but like 🤭 jealous?" @zyafics
warnings: cursing; rafe's an asshole but he's just going through it <3; a lil angsty??; lots of tension and pent-up frustration; they just need to fuck it out honestly.
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rafe likes to think of himself as a changed man. 
long gone is the reckless impulsive guy that reigned horror in the outer banks. he’s grown now, the man of the family, and a father. he spends his days working hard, providing for his family, and cherishing every moment with his baby girl. 
but when he learns you’ve been seeing other men after your ‘amicable’ breakup, he feels like he’s nineteen and ranging in misplaced anger all over again. younger days, when his temper ruled his actions and consequences were an afterthought.
old insecurities resurface, whispering doubts and fears into his mind.
you’d broken up before, years ago, and it barely lasted a month before both of you caved in. but now? now, you have a baby together, and for some reason, the breakup feels…permanent. 
he thought you just needed a breather from him, a little space to settle your mind after going through all the changes with your pregnancy. maybe he took you for granted, maybe he became too comfortable, too complacent in the belief that your love was unshakeable. and he’s paying for it. 
“where the fuck are you going?”
he knows exactly where you’re going, he’s just a masochist.
rafe’s always been vocal about his thoughts around you, having virtually no filter between his brain and mouth. it’s something you’ve gotten used to after five years in a relationship, the man is nothing if not blunt and crass. but now, it's different.
you’re not a couple anymore. you shouldn't have to put up with his nagging bullshit. but you have a child together, which means that you’ll never be able to fully scratch him out of your system. 
how were you so good before and yet so terrible once your daughter got here? 
you sigh, choosing to keep your back to him. 
“date.”
you hear him snort, not even having to peek to know he’s shaking his head, blue eyes lingering between your new dress and the ceiling, “my bad. thought you were going to a gala.”
you turn then, hand on your waist as you take him in. it’s hard not to stare at his freshly shaved hair and it only makes you want to slap him stupid for not doing it years ago. what’s the point if you can’t have him? 
“why? it’s not illegal to put in effort.” you tilt your head slightly, ignoring the way his eyes are burning holes through your shiny legs.
he pulls his eyes back to your face, but all you can see is the imprinted vision of your daughter laying on his chest earlier, her chubby cheek pressed against his shirt and her little hand curled around his finger. 
rafe’s heart clenches, the bitterness of your words sinking deep into his bones. he knows what you're implying, knows that you're trying to hurt him.
“he’s worth all that, huh?”
you shrug your shoulder, pieces of your hair falling back as you attempt to act nonchalantly, “maybe he is.”
rafe’s lips twitch into a half-smirk, half-grimace, a familiar expression that used to make your heart race but now just knots your stomach.
“who is it this time? it’s just kinda hard to keep track of your dates.”
his gaze lingers on you, searching for something, perhaps a hint of the girl he fell in love with, buried beneath layers of resentment and exhaustion.
you grit your teeth, the frustration growing beneath the surface threatening to spill over, “you don’t know him.”
he shakes his head, a humorless chuckle escaping his lips. “got yourself a touron?”
“don’t piss me off.”
he raises his hands in mock surrender. “i’m not trying to. just curious.”
“his name is mike.”
rafe's lips quirk into a sardonic smile as he hears the name. "mike, huh? sounds like a guy who sells insurance or teaches yoga on the weekends."
you shoot him a glare, unamused by his jest. "can you just be serious for once?"
catching sight of the offended look in your face, he adds, “it’s not my fault you keep choosing the ugly ones.”
you stare at him incredulously, “you don’t even know him!”
“hear me out, okay? if you’re ever going to give charlotte a sibling might as well—“
you’d throw the mug on your kitchen table at his head if charlotte wasn’t sleeping in the room next door.
“you think you’re so fucking funny don’t you?!” 
rafe hushes you, one of his hands rising to his lips, “what happened to no cursing in the house?”
your eye twitches, fingers itching to wrap themselves around his throat. “i’ll strangle you right here, rafe.”
“you got a new kink, mama?”
his ability to push your buttons has always been unparalleled, and it seems he's mastered the art even more since your breakup. he still manages to evoke a weird mixture of irritation and fondness within you.
“you can’t keep doing this. i like mike, maybe i want to date mike.”
rafe's expression shifts, his brows furrowing slightly as if your words have struck a chord. but then, just as quickly, his facade hardens again. he raises an eyebrow, feigning innocence. "i’m just trying to help. you said the exact same thing about whatever his fucking name was two months ago.”
you scoff, crossing your arms over your chest defensively. “see! you’re trying to patronize me.”
“’m not.”
“right,” you mutter, rolling your eyes, “course you aren’t.”
his taunting smirk is more than a little infuriating. “i just doubt this guy is gonna stick around.”
“oh, so that’s it?” you prod him, laughing in his face, hands curling into tight fists. you get closer, staring him down as you look upwards. “we’re back to lying to each other now?”
rafe’s face is contorted into a grimace; eyebrows furrowed, and you can feel his steady breathing before he speaks.
”i can do this all day.” he scoffs, a bitter edge creeping into his voice, “i think the moment you tell him about charlotte he’s gonna run back to whatever hole he creeped out of. you think he wants to be a daddy?”
“who said he has to? that’s your job. maybe i just want to fuck him, you ever think about that?” the admission feels like a betrayal and a liberation all at once.
it’s a familiar dance you two have been doing since the breakup – hurling accusations and blame at each other like weapons in a war neither of you can win.
rafe’s smirk fades into a scowl as your words hit him like a slap in the face. he takes a step back, one of his hands instinctively rising in a placating gesture, but there's a defiant glint in his eyes that tells you he's not backing down without a fight. 
his jaw tightens, “now you’re just trying to get under my skin.”
you throw your hands up in despair, “it’s always about you, unbelievable.” 
you feel like your heart is being vacuumed into your stomach as he stares.
“me?” his fingers dig into his chest, as if you’ve shot him right there, “you're the one who's constantly bringing up other guys, rubbing it in my face like- like i'm supposed to just sit back and take it."
you let out a slow controlled breath and attempt to loose your body movements. “we’re not doing this again.”
rafe knows he's treading on thin ice, but relents, “oh, m’sorry sweets. forgot you hate to be reminded i care.”
“care?” you laugh but it’s void of any humor, “is this your way of showing me you care? making me miserable? slut-shaming the mother of your daughter?”
“didn’t mean it like that, don’t twist my words.”
you square your shoulders, refusing to let him see the cracks in your armor. "you said what you said, and you can't take it back."
his jaw clenches, and you can almost hear the gears turning in his mind as he searches for the right words to say, “you’re pushing it.”
there’s a fiery anger in your eyes that makes his body warm. “so fucking what?”
without a word, rafe closes the distance between you, his movements tentative yet purposeful. his hand reaches out, fingers gripping your cheeks, his rough touch sending your body into a frenzy. you want to push him away, but the pull between you is too strong to resist. you’ve been yearning for his touch for months, no one knows how to pull your strings like he does.
“you drive me fucking insane, y’know that?”
you merely blink, pretending to be bored, “go fuck yourself.”
and then, in a rush of pent-up desire and frustration, rafe snakes a hand around the back of your head to pull you to meet him in a passionate kiss.
it’s all sorts of desperate as if trying to bridge the problems between you, you're arching into him as his hand trails down your spine. his tongue is brushing across yours in a tentative swipe before you’re meeting him halfway, kissing him urgently. there's a hunger in rafe’s touch, a desperation to reclaim what his lost, and you respond in kind, your hands roaming over his back, tracing the contours of his muscles with a familiarity that sends shivers down his spine.
“you’re not going on a fucking date.” he pants between kisses, the way his lips caress your face keeping you close distracting you momentarily.
“you can’t stop me.” 
his hand slides around your waist, over the curve of your ass, grabbing a handful in the process, “watch me.”
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fruithoughts · 1 month ago
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‎‎‎ㅤㅤHow to catch a hufflepuff?
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‎‎‎‎ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤjeonghan x fem!reader  
01.ㅤۗㅤ𝙼ember .  ⎯⎯⎯  jeonghan.
02.ㅤۗㅤ𝙲𝚆 .  ⎯⎯⎯ one sided beef, he tries to a dick but he's too in love lol what a loser, MANY PET NAMES(pretty girl, doll, puppy...), reader is a muggle, smut at very end, smut with plot, rough sex.
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September, 1 
— Are you still not over yourself? — A new year at Hogwarts begins, and just like that, Yoon Jeonghan it’s back to his favorite hobby of tormenting his favorite girl.
— Hogwarts should get over itself! It’s insane that we still have to write with quills — the Hufflepuff answers, obviously frustrated and with a good reason to be so, it’s 2024 and Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry it’s still stuck on writing with quills? In individual papers? This fact alone it’s crazier than most spells they’ve ever teached.
— You say it as if the muggle option is much better — he lies straight through his teeth, knowing damn well that pens are, with no doubt, much easier to use than quills. Jeonghan is Jeonghan, don’t take him too seriously or you might actually punch him in the face. Much like he expected, his false observation is pointed out by the girl sitting right alongside him in this train stall almost immediately after it leaves his mouth, the Slytherin has always had too much fun bothering the school’s sweetest girl who just so happened to be cursed with world’s biggest puppy eyes.
It wasn’t friendly like this back then, though. No, not even close.
These two despised each other with a burning passion, well, Jeonghan did; for the far majority of this nemesis thing, the hate was very much one-sided. Coming from an insanely racist family definitely rubbed off on him and when his academic life expectations were ruined by the fact that the entire school seemed completely in love and constantly in awe of that stupid muggle girl, he decided right there to make her life a living hell. 
Which he succeeded in doing, kind of. Her life was surely miserable when around him but she didn’t seem to care about their relationship as soon as she was with her friends, housemates, just anyone at all, Jeonghan felt invisible at times, and it infuriated him to no end. Last year was the worst era for sure. The bitterness had been going on for so long, they were both exhausted and having to work together on an astronomy assignment was the last straw, so out of nothing but pure rage; they settled on an alliance for long enough to finish that thing. But it didn’t end there, of course it didn’t, they continued talking even after the assignment, they weren't friends then, absolutely not, but they started interacting like normal students for once, asking for notes, doing small talk every little in a while.
Their push and pull habits never truly died, but it wasn’t out of hate now, they were clearly having fun with this whole enemies till death tell us apart game. So much fun in fact, Jeonghan spent his entire break missing their banter like he was going crazy. It didn’t even cross his mind that he would think about that girl after the year ended, but oh, boy, did he do it.
 Maybe that was the reason they were going together in the same train stall for the first time in all of these years they’ve known each other, maybe Jeonghan lied and his friend’s stall isn’t full like he said it was, maybe he just missed his shiny eyed sweet girl, maybe.
September, 12 
— Do you have any interests other than being the center of attention? — she asks, it’s a fair question. The walk in between classes always brings out the worst out of everyone, huh? — I like pissing you off sometimes — Jeonghan answered.
Watching that cute little face transform into an annoyed and tired one never fails to make the Slytherin feel a rush of pride, he just adores it, he just adores her — Can you answer seriously at least once? Instead of being a lil bitch? Perhaps? It’s that too difficult for you? — she said imitating the tone he usually used to brother her, school’s sweetest girl being a bully, who would’ve thought. 
— Woah, woah, woah, I've been nothing but condescending and mean to you and this is how you treat me? — Jeonghan grabs his chest dramatically, his expression telling any bypassers that this man has never, in his entire life , felt as offended as he’s feeling right now — Come on now, puppy, it’s this a way you should treat a dear friend?
There it is, the classic Jeonghan urge to frustrate his pretty girl for no reason at all.
— Keep talking and I'll poison your food — the Slytherin chuckled at the threat — You wouldn’t be able to even if you tried, you’re not allowed in herbology class without the presence of a teacher — he pointed out without missing a beat — How do you still remember that? — she asks incredulously. I was made for you, of course I remember, the bastard thought to himself.
Like always, Jeonghan regretted coming to class the very second the professor opened his mouth, choosing to busy himself with going through his girl’s notes instead. They were mostly doodles or borderline intelligible for him, her handwriting was neat but her logic? Questionable, to say the least. But he loved reading whatever she wrote anyways, getting a little too happy whenever he found anything evolving his name or a silly doodle of his face. Once every twenty or so minutes he’d get distracted by her side profile instead, this was the only class where they sat together, so he shamelessly stared at her every time. For just a second, she looked back and smiled, as warm as the sun. He felt strange, he felt like a child again, liking her felt rather lovely, but did she like him too? 
October, 18 
It’s a tradition at this point, students of all houses gathering together in secret to play quidditch in their pajamas every friday night. Organization is barely existent, rules? Optional. This whole thing is a mess, it really is one of the worlds most confusing mysteries on how the teachers haven't found out about this yet(They have, but they pretend they haven’t because it’s the only time all students get fairly along with each other)
Mingyu begging Seungkwan to be the judge just off the chance that possibly, on a day where Kwan felt extremely nice, he could cut him some slack(it has never happened). Watching them from a far was arguably nicer, Jeonghan thought; sitting isolated from all of the other students with his trusty Hufflepuff by his side, both sat there in comfortable silence, this one was new for them.
— What bad music have you been listening to these days, ugly thing? — he inquires, as nice and cordial as always — Wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy? — she answered staring daggers into his face, oh, if only Yoon Jeonghan was as unbothered and cool as he pretends to be, maybe then he could stop the way his heart pathetically races at the sound of her voice. 
— I always wanna know what’s going on up that little head, it’s usually just air, but sometimes we get lucky, don’t we? — the Hufflepuff rolls her eyes at his statement while the asshole who said it only grins — I could put on some songs I've been listening to, if your highness so desires — she suggests, and Jeonghan isn’t one to say no to his pretty thing. 
It started off with a soft guitar melody, much like most of the songs she listened to.
Depollute me, pretty baby
Suck the rot right out of my bloodstream
The girl always had a type for softer sounding things, for gentle things, it made  Jeonghan feel unsure of himself at times. How could the sweetest girl in the school like the company of such a bitter guy?
Oh, dilute me, gentle angel
Water down what I call being grateful
Was it normal? Was this how things should be? What even were they at this point? Acquaintances? Partners in crime? Friends? 
Oh, you kissed me just to kiss me
Not to take me home
The school year had barely started and Jeonghan could swear he was balding from stress since week 2, why is he acting like this? Why is he sitting far from his friends and housemates just to spend “alone time” with the girl he swore he hated less than a year ago?
It was simple, it was sweetness
It was good to know
There were many things in this world that the Slytherin would never agree to admit. He refused to believe in just how fast his mind changed from last year. Everything happened too fast and I couldn’t see it coming, that’s why I didn’t stop it; is what the man in question kept telling himself, clearly because is the truth and nothing but the truth, clearly NOT because he could never bring himself to terms with the fact that he has always looked at the “stupid muggle girl” in the very same way he’s looking right now.
You look perfect, you look different
I don't wonder about your indifference
— Spending time with you is giving me brain damage — he speaks up, for no reason other than to listen to the sound of her laughter, which works — Don’t blame me for your psychosis — the hufflepuff answers while giggling.
If I said you could never touch me
You'd come over and say I looked lovely
She yawned and stretched her arms out, arching her back, as graceful as a swan. It’s that feeling again.
Oh, you kissed me just to kiss me
Not to make me cry
He lies down on the concrete, both hands behind his head.
It was simple, you are sweetness
Let's just sit a while
She lies with him.
Depollute me, gentle angel
And I'll feel the sickness less and less
The night was beautiful, birds flying through the dark sky, he could hear his friends playing quidditch in the distance, his pretty little thing resting her head on his shoulder as they lay on the cold floor and watch the stars. It felt gentle, it felt nice, it felt perfect. He knows they won’t talk about this tomorrow.
Come and kiss me, pretty baby
Like we'll never have sex
Friends shouldn’t make each other feel like this.
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October, 29
— I’m just saying, it’s a Sunday evening — Jeonghan felt like getting to the point of his argument after rambling for about 20 minutes on end — And? — she inquired, eyes still on her book, which made the Slytherin close his own, he hasn’t read a single word ever since he opened his mouth, just using his habit of reading as another cheap excuse to spend the night in the library with his lovely friend — We could do something else, you know… — he suggested, knowing damn well this isn’t going anywhere, his girl did not play about her poetry books. 
— Like what? — she engaged, also aware of the fact this is a one way street — Literally anything else, maybe have dinner somewhere — he slouched against the hardwood chair — Dinner? The thing that killed Jesus? — her answer received nothing but a very judgmental look from a very judgmental Jeonghan who didn’t stay quiet about his discontent for long, like always — You’re such a disaster — he says averting his gaze to anywhere else so she couldn’t clock the painfully obvious heart eyes he was giving her.
— Why do you spend so much time here anyways? — after about 32 seconds of nice and peaceful silence, he asked again — Reading is fun, even if it’s reading about being a loser — the Hufflepuff responded already setting the terrain herself so Jeonghan couldn’t have the pleasure of calling her out on only reading melancholic books.
— We could never live together — the Slytherin states as if it isn’t the only future he could fathom to imagine — What if our books got mixed in the bookshelf? I might have a heart attack. Imagine receiving visits and have them wrongfully assume that I read poetry? I would rather die — anybody from a mile away can tell this man has thought about this very scenario way too much for his own good — And yet you’re the perfect amount of dramatic and pretentious to be a poet yourself — every once in a while he would notice that she talked like a book, he hated it, it was better when she talked like an chronically online alien who’s only life mission is to make sure he has at least one bad day a week.
Jeonghan, ever the most mature student of Hogwarts, sticked his tongue out in his friend’s direction, which was answered with the exact same action back at him — What are you even reading, ugly? 
— The world’s wife, by Carol Ann Duffy — at the end of that day, after his pretty girl had already left to her dorm, for the first time in history; Yoon Jeonghan rented a book from the library.
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November, 1
Looking at her made him feel all sorts of things, even from across the room. From an overwhelming sense of warmth just by watching his little flower engage in silly conversations with her friends after she’s done writing down notes to erratic heartbeats and goosebumps when she catches him staring and tilts her head, looking at him just like a confused puppy while mouthing “why are you staring?”. She made him feel all sorts of feelings he wishes he didn’t fall victim to, all sorts of fantasies he wished he didn’t understand, but Jeonghan was no saint, especially when it came to his little angel. 
There were only two things in his mind today, which was an improvement in comparison to yesterday when there was only one, i’ll let you guess what it was, but right now there were two; 1. The argument with Josh, and 2. Her.
Jeonghan isn’t one to hold grudges against those he loves the most, as a trickster himself; he isn’t used to taking things personally, but Joshua… Joshua had gone too far. Just when the Slytherin was ready to finally pour his heart out to somebody who he deeply trusted and loved and open up about his feelings, he was met with the most terrible response! It just wouldn’t leave his head…
— She’s perfect for me, everything about her is perfect, I think about her all of the time and it’s messing me up — Jeonghan pathetically went on and on for what could’ve been anywhere from 30 min to 2 hours, poor boy was just so confused about the simplest of feelings — And the obvious conclusion to take away from this situation is…? — his Gryffindor friend tried helping — She’s ruining my life — and it didn’t work — You’re in love, you stupid idiot — so Josh decided to be a little more direct. He was right, like always, but that didn’t stop Jeonghan from sulking the whole entire night. 
It was infuriating, what even happened to him? All it took was a pair of shining eyes and sweet smile and he’s completely done for? It’s not like the guy in question ever was the kind of student who engaged in class or was interested in anything the teachers had to say at all, but this is another level, it annoyed him to no end. That stupid girl just held his mind and all of his thoughts in her hands as if it was nothing, that stupid girl with her stupid unique personality and her stupid hauntinly beautiful face and her stupid cute outfits and the stupid boy who could not take her out of his stupid brain. 
He left a letter at her desk after class, she would only find it the next morning while he was two classes away from being interrogated about said letter. 
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November, 15
Hogsmeade was full to the brim, but somehow, this moment felt very intimate. 
Maybe it was the alcohol in their systems, maybe it was the casual way they didn’t even consider sitting with their housemates before claiming the little table by the window just for themselves, maybe it was the way they were both sitting while leaning completely forward, chins resting on their arms, faces just a few inches away while yapping away the end of exams season, it felt childish, it felt nice, it felt sweet. 
— You don’t think I'm manly? — Jeonghan questioned as if this was about to become his villain origin story — You’re manly… Just in a peacock kinda of way — she answered giggling like there was no tomorrow, he loved everything going on here. Her flushed little face decorated with a big grin, her nose crunching up everytime she smiled, her voice slightly louder and whinier because of the alcohol, the slurred way her words came out sometimes, it was all perfect.
— Can I tell you something, puppy? — he whispers, knowing he isn’t anywhere near drunk enough to not remember this tomorrow, he doesn’t really care — There’s nothing in this place that I adore more than you.
He watched in awe as her eyes grew so much bigger, lips forming a little pout of shock, that specific cartoonish surprised look she always had when anything happens while she’sdrunk, looking both sides before leaning in and going “Really?” which is immediately followed by a little giggle.
In moments like this the Slytherin swears there’s nothing he wouldn’t do to have his girl all to himself, nobody else deserves this view. Isn’t all of this desire so ugly? Isn’t all this wanting so gross? Isn’t it all his? Just the thought of leaving Hogwarts and never seeing his pretty little thing again was enough to give him a full body shiver followed by an ever so present nauseous feeling.
��— If I have to remember you for longer than I've known you, I might lose my mind a little — Jeonghan mindlessly admitted, a sly smile slowly makes its way in his friend’s face — Don’t you think you already lost it? — she asks.
— Maybe a little.
December, 24
— Won’t your friends be worried? Do they know or did not even tell them? — Jeonghan questions while trying to look at everything everywhere all at once. It was his first time spending Christmas night in the muggle realm, he wouldn’t admit it in a million years, but it wasn’t as bad as he thought it was — Why wouldn’t I tell them we’re going out? — the Hufflepuff answers his question with a question — As far as I remember they were very defensive about you becoming friends with big, bad Jeonghan, have they moved on from that? — his question only got him a smack on the arm.
— They haven’t cared about that for a while now, and you interrupted me! Again! — she stated before angrily letting go of his hand, which she had been holding so they wouldn’t go far from each other and get lost, yeah… that was definitely the only reason — My sincere apologies, your highness — not taking her attitude for granted, the Slytherin quickly holds her cold hand into his own much bigger one, it was ironic in a way, the Hufflepuff who’s body is always cold and the Slytherin who’s body is always warm — Now I don’t wanna talk anymore — apparently, she didn’t accept his apology, but didn’t let go of his hand either. 
Jeonghan wasn’t sure if it was his sick mind making him hear things, but he could swear that as time went on, the sweetest girl in Hogwarts had become more and more of a brat, just for him tho. Maybe he was a bad influence. 
— Go on, keep talking about the anime girl with the blue hair, I'm listening — did he understand most of what she was talking about? No. But she was happy to share her thoughts about Hatsune Miku’s new song, so really, who was he to say no? For all Jeonghan cares she could break his brain in two, it was only ever hers to mess with anyways.
Walking through the local christmas market was much more pleasant then the pureblood snob would ever imagine or admit, but she could tell that he was having a great time, and that was enough for both of them. Jeonghan has always had a terrible case of resting bitch face, so she really couldn't give less of her mind to anybody who stared at them weirdly, the Slytherin himself barely even noticed, too focused on this cozy new place.
They ate good food, took pictures with her digital camera, petted some strays here and there, it was a perfect evening. And just when they thought things couldn’t get any better…
— Come on, it’s not that deep — the bastard insisted while dragging his pretty thing along his arm to some bar’s doorstep, there was a mistletoe there — Is it not that deep or do you just want to kiss me? — the Hufflepuff teased, her flushed face betraying the casual tone she spoke in.
Finally at the bar, they stood there. Jeonghan, with that infuriating little grin in his stupidly beautiful face, looking down at his friend who had her arms crossed in front of her chest the second they arrived, looking back at him with the an annoyed expression and an angry little pout that forced him to resist, with all of his might, to the overwhelming urge to melt directly to the floor.
— That’s for me to know, — he said pulling his doll into his arms, a hand going up to her face to make sure no stubborn hairs got in the way of the moment — And for you to wonder.
Much to Jeonghan’s surprise, maybe he really wasn’t the manly one in this relationship after all. Because when the Hufflepuff straight up yanked him by the collar of his jacket to meet his lips, he could swear that he was made to be manhandled by a pretty girl. Ever the profissional, he relaxed into their kiss almost immediately, holding the back of her head firmly in his hands so he could take some control.
It was just as good as he imagined it would be, pillowy lips massaging his own, his puppy just so pliantly allowing his tongue to explore, it was sugar sweet and addicting. 
Maybe it was a mistake, maybe it was a blessing, the girl wasn’t exactly sure while she was getting dragged around for the entire two and a half they spent going around in the christmas market. The sly prick just couldn’t control himself, whenever he saw a mistletoe, it was time. Jeonghan was so obvious, he started actually tricking her into thinking he was just interested in places. He would look around, engage in conversation with the sellers, get some nice food then the second they were about to leave, he would just pull her towards a certain spot, his girl already giggling and whining about getting tricked again. These two lost count of how many mistletoes they used to their advantage in just some hours, but at last, it was time to go. 
Surprisingly, Jeonghan wasn’t really nervous about spending the night in his friend’s apartment, they have gotten extremely close after all. The thing bothering him was something else. 
He wore some white t-shirt and fluffy pajama pants she found somewhere in the depths of her closet, probably due to a friend forgetting them. She was wearing a leopard print shirt and some black fluffy shorts, he loved the way she dressed much more than he could handle, it was too cute for him to handle. Their pajamas were the comfiest things they’ve ever worn in each other’s presence, you can only be so casual in School.  
After whining about who got to choose what they watch before sleeping, they settled in any Netflix cliche christmas movie because of how often she made fun of the scripts in those movies, and she was right, they could’ve played a cliche movie bingo and checked all of the places before the movie hit the 40 minute mark. 
Of course the film in question was nothing more than some background sound to their yapping session, what else could it be? Their conversations just flowed so easily, each topic and scenario just slipping through their fingers, eventually they got to the best part, talking about the people they both hate. At first it was the usual; “How long do you think that friend group is going to last?” and “Do you think that couple is going to get back together?” then it eventually turned into; “Do you think your friend group will last a long time?” and “How long do you think it will take before we miss our professors?” and…
— What are you gonna do after Hogwarts? — the Hufflepuff asks innocently, causing a mental turmoil to burst in Jeonghan’s head. He snaps before even thinking, and it’s probably for the best.
— What are we gonna be after Hogwarts? — the air caught in her throat was almost visible, the way her breathing got heavy, the way her eyes seemed to wander even though she didn’t break eye contact, this was a difficult conversation to have. After this they’ll either come out of this apartment as partners or as strangers, it was a tough pill to swallow. 
— We don’t ever talk about it, we don’t ever dare bring it up but we both know what’s going on, don’t we? The year is ending, flower — he had that look in his eyes, that look he had at hogsmeade, she wasn’t sure if she had imagined it, but there it was again. Jeonghan had never looked so soft, in some oversized t-shirt and fluffy zebra print pajama pants she would never witness him wearing in any other situation, his hair as soft as ever, strands romantically sitting in front of his face as he reaches a hand to hold her cheek, the most gentle touch.
— I know we started this just messing around, we’ve been messing around since last year and it felt nice, it was fun, it was new and becoming closer was so rewarding that we just couldn’t stop it — he recalls the beginning of their alliance — But it’s not so light anymore, is it, dear? The tension became too much, I know you think about me too, I know you feel me it too — he spoke his heart out, voice as soft as the look in his eyes, all of the words that have been drowning him for the past few months were finally bubbling to the surface — I wanna stop it, we played around and it was fun but I need something solid now, I need to know where we go after this is over — he kept going, his eyebrows furrowing as his breathing got more erratic. 
— We don’t have all of the time in the world so I need you to be honest with me right now — Jeonghan leaned in, he could almost see all of her thoughts and emotions right on those shiny eyes he fell in love with all those years ago, in all of this time; his sweet girl had never changed, but unknowingly, she changed him. 
— Do you want me too? — the Slytherin asks.
A rushed “i need you too” was the last thing he could process before the Hufflepuff was yanking his face into a heated kiss, hugging his neck so she could sit on his lap, Jeonghan was in heaven. 
His pretty girl softly pulling his hair to make him gasp into her mouth, his hands trying to be everywhere before he settled on holding her hips to keep her from moving too much. His sweet girl was a little too desperate for his taste. Why were her panties completely soaked and sticking to her core when he finally dipped his hand into her shorts? Was she getting hot and bothered the entire night and just taking it instead of asking for his help? — Own, did I leave my baby waiting for too long? My poor lil thing… — the motherfucker spoke up as condescending as always, only causing her to whine as he teasingly cupped her warmth through the moist underwear — Don’t worry, puppy. You know I’ll make it up to you — and “make up” he did.
As soon as the bastard found her bedroom, it was game on. At this point they’re unsure of how much time have gone by, one arm holding her waist firmly in place on her plush bed while the other held one of her legs up so he could have more access to the little pussy he spent so long dreaming about, he needed to eat his girlfriend out properly, let her know he’s the one for her, that no one would do it better than him, even if his efforts make his jaw hurt like crazy the next morning.
Jeonghan was having the time of his life, hearing her soft voice turning into a higher pitch whenever she whined about him teasing for too long, that she was ready to take him. And of course, being as annoying as ever, he couldn’t let the humiliation be just that, no, he made her repeat it every time — What was that, doll? — he looks up as if her sweet moans interrupted his holy feast, his chin soaked with her juices, his lips glistening with her honey, this view could kill — I need you, Jeongie… — she finally had the strength to answer, making the devil grin. 
He had no intentions of stopping, no, he needed that little cunt on his face until he suffocated. The bastard kept going after the first, the second and for a miracle, the third orgasm was his last straw, and even though he could devour his stupid girl right there… — My pretty baby did so well for me, didn’t she? — he gave her a much deserved break before getting down to finish their business. 
It felt as though there was nothing else in the world, nothing other than them. Passionate slow kisses, arms cradling one another as their hands caressed each other’s bodies, this moment could last all of eternity and neither culprit would complain, not even once. Feeling his hard on pressing against her thighs was driving the Hufflepuff a little bit insane, tucking on his waistband made her mouth feel awfully empty.
The Slytherin didn’t even remember that being hard was so damn painful, a soft touch of her hands on his crotch was enough to make him hiss, squeezing his eyes shut and pressing his lips together, the sight was pretty enough to make one cry, he’s was just such a beautiful boy, how could she not want to have him in her mouth? — Please, please, pleas-
— You don’t have to — he tried shushing her, not wanting his baby to do any work — Want to… Wanna make you feel good, Jeongie… — that whiny tone made his knees buckle quickly, mind racing far too fast for him to stop himself before just sitting back on his knees and letting his pretty girl have her way with him.
For someone who was in full control just fifteen minutes ago, Jeonghan surely sounded like a bitch in heat. Biting his lower lip hard enough to draw blood but letting go before it happens so he can moan like a whore just before the pleasure becomes too much and causes him to throw his head back, looking at his girl was too much to ask from him, everything was too much. Looking just so pretty trying her hardest to fit his thick base into her mouth, not paying any mind to all of the gagging, working so hard to please her Hannie, he could bust just from this fact alone, the man was losing it. 
His appreciation for her hard work did not go unappreciated for long, not when he got his doll on all fours for him, shoulders pressing down on the mattress while he pounded that pussy into another dimension not even ten minutes after getting the head of his life. The squeaking of the bed, the sound of skin slapping, the begging for more whenever he grabbed her hair roughly and used it as a leash to pull her body into his, his chest pressing against her back while he praised his pretty thing for being “such a good puppy for him, taking all of his cum”, only for the moans to go louder when he slammed her face back into the bed, the soft squelchy sound coming from where their bodies kissed, the music in this room was Jeonghan’s favorite. 
These two were wild animals for a long time, their muscles would most definitely feel their efforts tomorrow, but right now, after having the best orgasms of their lives, the lovebirds were in absolute peace, staying in the bed for much longer than expected after sex; just holding each other, just loving each other. After a nice shower, a change of sheets and some instant ramen, tho? Ready to go to sleep, if anything; desperate to go to sleep. Jeonghan felt a slight shift on the bed alongside him, he could feel his preciosity leaving his grasp just before he succumbed to the tiredness of his bones, he reluctantly opened his eyes; she’s on her phone? 
— Did I fuck you so good that you’re writing poetry? — he asks, it’s a fair question — Shut up, Slytherin — the Hufflepuff answers just before hitting send message into her groupchat, telling her friends everything they could possibly need to know about the past two hours or so with just 11 words.
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creedslove · 8 months ago
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JOEL'S EX WIFE WANTING HIM BACK - HEADCANONS ✨
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No outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader
A/N: hi besties!!! Just a small little idea I got while I was watching some good old female rivalry soap opera drama over breakfast ❤️
Warnings: Sarah is a teen here ❤️
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• when you got together with Joel, Sarah was already 12, her mom had been gone since she was a baby and though neither of them had any problems about talking about what happened, it wasn't a frequent subject, even if they treated it with naturally, they didn't like talking about it and it was completely understandable, after all, Joel had been abandoned with a weeks old baby and that baby had to grow up without her mother around
• so you always simply decided to pretend she never really existed in the first place, and technically, in your life, she never really did it, because from the moment you began dating Joel, he wasn't her ex-husband anymore, but instead, he was your boyfriend, and Sarah wasn't really her daughter, but your stepdaughter and you both had learned how to love and enjoy each other's company
• you were leading a happy life with the Millers, being part of their household and falling into the same routine as they did, as you spent longer at their place than at your own, until it didn't make any sense for you to keep paying rent, after all, you and Joel were very much together and in love and the natural course of your relationship would be of course, getting married or something like that
• you were happy with your little family, Sarah's issues regarding her mom seemed to be filled up pretty good by you once you joined the family, as she finally had someone she could talk to about boys and other girl stuff. She also really approved yours and Joel's relationship, always commenting on how happy you made her dad and how nice it was to have a more family like routine
• things were good and happy and you couldn't wish for anything more than that, you were as pleased as you could be, and you were pretty sure Joel was the man of your dreams, there was no way you could love someone as much as you loved him and so was the story of how the Millers became a very happy family
• and that was why it shocked the fourth of you - because Tommy was hella shocked as well - when Sarah's mom, Angela, decided to get in touch with Joel; she had found him on Facebook and messaged him, much to his shock, he'd done the same with Sarah, just like that, texting the daughter she'd abandoned as if she was just an old pal saying hello after losing touch for years
• at first, the two of them decided to ignore it, not sure how to act or how to even respond to it, but after a couple of days more in which Angela kept insisting on texting, more like begging Joel for a chance to talk, he decided to talk to his daughter and get to a conclusion together and after considering a lot together, they decided they would answer to her and see what she wanted
• and of course Angela sent quite a few sob sad texts saying how hard things were for her, how much she'd missed her family and mostly her daughter and how she regretted leaving. Joel wasn't quite convinced with that, quite the opposite, he was still bitter and angry at everything that went on, but he could tell Angela's words somehow messed up with Sarah's feelings, after all, she was a reject baby by her mom and at some level, she needed her approval in any way
• so Joel and Sarah agreed to meet up with Angela again, something small, at a coffee shop where they could all sit down and talk things through so they could see how things went between them, you'd also decided not to show up, it was such an intimate moment, you didn't belong in that scenario and you also had no reasons to be suspicious of Joel, you loved and trusted him and he trusted and loved you back, there was no reason to worry about anything at all
• you were genuinely happy to know Sarah had warmed up for her mom and the two of them hit off, having a lot in common and deciding to spend more time together, going on dinners, lunches and movie sessions together; it seemed Angela's presence was a benefit for them, and it was, you liked to see Sarah so happy about her return, it only became a problem when Angela started to show up more and more often at Joel's home
• it was your home too, and as much as you didn't want to be selfish or annoying, you had to admit it bothered you A LOT she was all the time around, at first she started with smaller things, such as visiting you all on Sunday afternoon, or bringing up a dessert, which of course, had to be Joel's favorite and kept gushing about the times they were still married; Angela was a pretty woman, you couldn't deny that, and the fact she seemed so willing to be nice and pleasant around her ex-husband
• and that imposition of her presence into your house and your family was beginning to bother you even more; suddenly, Sarah didn't want to go to the mall with you anymore, instead, she wanted to go with her mom. She didn't want to bake cookies with you anymore because your cookies had that sugar thing in the bottom so she liked her mom's better and as much as you tried understanding Sarah needed and had all the right to enjoy her mom's company and presence, it still hurt you, because you missed Sarah, and yet, it felt as if you weren't important to her anymore
• Seeing the shifts in your dynamics with Sarah, Joel tried to be understanding and even offered himself to talk to her, but you dismissed the idea, it was embarrassing enough you were feeling jealous, you didn't need Joel to get into the middle of that, but it still made you upset when Sarah decided to go to the movies with her mom to watch the newest Ghostbusters movie you two had agreed on going together
• and just as Angela stole Sarah from you, she was more than willing to steal Joel as well: she wanted him, he was even more handsome, his business became successful and he lived comfortably and now Sarah wasn't an annoying baby anymore, it was fun to be around her and she wanted her family back
• so to you, things started going sour when you decided to stop by Joel's business to bring him lunch; you'd prepared him a pretty good lunchbox and you were very excited to see his reaction, however, when you got to his small office, you found him and Angela eating a foot long sub, as it was kind of an inside joke between them from when they were young
"oh shit baby, I had no idea you'd bring me lunch, if I knew it..."
• Joel said wiping his mouth with a napkin as he had sauce on his beard like an idiotic child would and it made your blood boil, Angela simply smirked at you and you knew exactly what she was doing, your gut feeling was right all along, she was a filthy bitch
"it's fine Joel, it's just a sandwich, it's not like you're cheating"
• you didn't know exactly why you said that, it was the first time in your life you had ever said that towards Joel because it had never even crossed your mind there might be a possibility of it happening, but once you said those sour words, an awkward silence, a think tension in the room spread and you felt extremely uncomfortable to be there
"I'm sorry, you can give the lunchbox to Tommy in case he hasn't had lunch if you want, that way the food won't go to waste"
• you told Joel and turned to Angela, you didn't want to hide how much you didn't like the fact she snuck into his office to bring him lunch like a devoted wife
"you know, it's an odd choice to bring your ex-husband lunch instead of your daughter, I'm sure Sarah is starving right now..."
• in the evening, Joel felt very bad about what had happened, he hadn't done anything wrong, but at the same time it was wrong because even if it was just a sandwich, it wasn't about the sandwich but rather who had brought it to him, he knew it had hurt your feelings and he wanted to make it up to you, so he arrived home, using all his charms, his puppy eyes, his sweet talking and his soft neck kisses to convince you to go out with him; he was going to take you out for dinner: at a restaurant, not a bar for beer and burgers, but an actual meal
• you enjoyed your time with him, appreciating his effort to make something nice for you, so you grabbed a table, ordered meals and enjoyed each other's companies, as Joel held your hand and talked about his day, telling you how much he'd missed you and how gorgeous you were, dinner was going smoothly and what happened during lunch time had almost faded from your mind, when you heard someone clearing their throat
"oh hey... Enjoying some romantic dinner? That's a good place, right? Joel used to bring me here every so often, money was very short back then, but he always made an effort"
• Angela gave the two of you a bright smile, loving every single ounce of anger that clearly went through your face, what the fuck was that disgusting woman doing there? Why did she have to ruin your date night like that? It made your blood boiling, Joel immediately sensed the tension and tried coming up with something to say, but Angela just shrugged
"I came over just to grab myself some dinner, excuse me and enjoy your evening"
• she faked sympathy and blew Joel a kiss, knowing damn well the whole evening was already ruined for you, which made her pretty good about herself
• once you got home, you decided to have a heartfelt conversation with Joel, tell him every single thing that was bothering you, after all, communication had always been a big deal for you and it was important for you to open up and be straightforward about the matter, and he agreed with you, he said Angela was crossing the boundary and he assured you he was gonna talk to her
• so during the next few days, things were alright again between you and your sweet Joel; you were still very much in love and Sarah had been so busy with her tests at school, you didn't even hear of Angela's name and you'd be lying if you said you weren't happy about it, it was a relief she wasn't around and you even suggested Joel to make barbecue on Saturday, you'd have an extra shift but then you could enjoy the weekend with your family
• he gladly accepted it and you spent the rest of your week quite excited for it, you liked his barbecue, it was such a dad trait he had and you wanted to spend some time in bed with him too, once you arrived from work, you smiled as you saw Tommy's truck and you could smell the delicious scent of food, as you got off your own car, you went straight to the backyard, smiling from ear to ear
• but it didn't last long, your smile died when you spotted Angela; she was wearing a short summer dress and laughed happily at something Joel said, it must've been so funny because Sarah was laughing too. Angela was holding a bowl of egg salad and the moment she saw you, her own smile died, as if she was the one who had her day ruined by an intruder in her family, and not the other way around
• you frowned as Sarah sighed at seeing you, it didn't take a rocket science genius to see she was disappointed in seeing you there, as if you had got in the way between her mom and dad, you stared at Joel, your eyes filling up with angry tears as he immediately walked to you, holding you by the waist
"baby..."
"I'm going to the bathroom to wash my face and when I come back I don't wanna see this woman here, I've had enough, I don't care if she's your ex or Sarah's mom, she clearly wants to take my place and sometimes I feel like she has already..."
"don't say that, baby girl, that's not true"
"so get rid of her Joel"
• you left to the bathroom so you could freshen up and clear up your mind; hoping she would be gone by then, you didn't want to see her at all, so once you stepped into the kitchen, you were ready to start your weekend, with the exception of the scene before your eyes: Angela's lips on Joel's
• you felt as if you lost the ground from under your feet, and even if Joel shoved her away from him and began apologizing one hundred times, you'd had enough; Angela got what she wanted: you out of the way
• you ignored everything Joel said, as you blinked your tears and shook your head, leaving the house, the house that used to be your home, but now you weren't so sure; maybe all you did all that time was fill up the absence of Angela, and now, that Joel and Sarah had the original one, they didn't need you anymore
• that was only one out of many thoughts that crossed your mind, you didn't want to believe that, you loved Joel and Sarah and you wanted to continue thinking they also love you, but your heart was broken and Joel Miller was to blame 💔
____
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lustfulslxt · 8 months ago
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1949 ⭑ Matt Sturniolo
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Prologue
summary : you move back home with your brother and click with his friends, though the tension is high with matt and it turns into something more
warnings : brothers best friend trope, slow burn, tension, sneaky relationship, swearing, eventual smut, slight traumatic past relationship with reader’s mother, and probably some other stuff
a/n : hiii! so, this is my first actual series.. idk how long it will be, it really just depends on how you guys like it. i appreciate feedback always xx
1.1k words
The world around you seems to fade away, a dull buzzing echoing in your ears. Your eyes burn with seemingly invisible tears as you stare off into the distance, a somber expression overtaking your features. You fail to process the chatter and movement occurring around you, too preoccupied by the overwhelming change you’re currently forced to endure.
You swallow the lump in your throat and close your eyes, trying to gather yourself and your spiraling thoughts. You have never been good with change, and only once before have you been put in an all too similar predicament.
Taking a deep breath, you turn your head to gaze out of the window. White, fluffy clouds hang just beneath you, showcasing a dark city sparkling with various lights. Taking in the new area, you’re immediately brought back to how this all started.
Life has been anything but fulfilling. Ever since you were younger, you had been craving the love you get with family. However, your mother had deprived you of it.
You used to be happy, back when you were just a little girl. Your parents, you, and your brother, Nate, all lived together as one big happy family. At least once a week, the four of you would go out and do something fun with each other — whether it be the zoo, an amusement park, shopping, a picnic — it was always something to ensure you spent time together and encourage a healthy development.
You didn’t have a worry in the world, until it all came crashing down. Next thing you knew, you were on a flight to Nevada.
You were ripped from your dad and brother at such a young age, for reasons still unknown to this day. A big part of you despised your mother for taking you from your family, especially when she was incapable of giving you the love you needed as a child.
You cried and begged her to tell you what was going on, but she was adamant about you staying in a child’s place, and that this was better for the two of you. Any time you kept up with the questions and concerns, it was as if she turned into a whole other person. She’d become very aggressive, and so, to avoid her wrath, you just stopped altogether.
You were forced to start a new school, make new friends, and completely forget about your family back in Boston. Of course, that was easier said than done.
You’d cry yourself to sleep every single night, wanting nothing more than to get back on the plane and go home, even if it meant going without your mother.
She changed. She became something you didn’t recognize. The soft, caring, and loving mom you once had was overtaken by a cold, mean, and almost lifeless exterior. The relationship between both of you dwindled into nothing but resentment and bitterness.
Growing up without your father was hard. He was always so good to you, being everything you ever needed as a dad. He was a good man to your family, neighbors, and anyone he ever came across. You’re unsure of what happened between him and your mom, but you couldn’t see him as anything other than what he’s been.
Losing Nate was by far the hardest. He was your best friend, your other half. The two of you were as thick as thieves, always at each other’s hips. You shared everything with each other, there wasn’t a single secret between you. You turned to him for everything, and he was always so supportive and understanding, even at your young age. You were never as happy and full of life as you were when you were with him. Being without him was unbearable. You felt like you couldn’t breathe, as if there was an invisible lifeline keeping you connected, and being ripped away to Nevada severed it.
You often wondered if he still thinks about you. Was it as hard for him as it was for you? Did he move on with ease? Did he find new friends to replace you? Does he have a new sibling?
You’ve wanted so bad to reach out to them, to tell them you miss them and you’re sorry, but your mother always made it impossible. She did any and everything she could to prevent you from contacting them.
However, with the sudden turn of events, you’re now all alone on a plane, flying back to a place that holds sentimental memories, and you’re unsure of what it’s going to bring you.
“Ladies and gentlemen, US Air welcomes you to Boston, Massachusetts. The local time is 6:47 PM—” Is spoken over the intercom, causing a dreaded feeling to brew in your stomach.
You’re beyond nervous, and your mind is racing with overwhelming thoughts. Do they hate you? Do they blame you for mom leaving? Do they even want you to come back? Should you have stayed in Nevada on your own? Do they even know why you’re coming back?
You seem to be moving on autopilot, because the next thing you know, you’re at bag pick up to receive your luggage, and the atmosphere is filled with a loud environment. Your heart is thumping quickly in your chest, your body ridded with anxiety. You’re unsure of what to even do with yourself at this point.
“Y/N?”
You freeze in place, eyes wide as goosebumps line your skin. You can practically feel the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. The uneasy feeling in your stomach worsens, and you’re actually terrified to turn around.
But you do.
“It’s you.” The same voice repeats.
You’re met with two people, and though it’s been quite some time, you recognize them instantly. Your breath catches in your throat, and tears well up in your eyes as you take them in.
“Oh my god.” Your dad cries as Nate rushes to you.
Your body is hit with a strong force as Nate yanks you into a hug. You suddenly snap out of it and reciprocate the hug, squeezing for dear life. Your dad is instantly joining, the three of you rocking back and forth as you cry.
It doesn’t feel real. This moment is what you’ve dreamed of almost every night since you’ve been gone. You’ve longed for this. Your heart has been so heavy for years on end, and this is exactly what you needed for that weight to lift.
“Oh my god, it’s really you.” Nate whispers, cradling you into his arms. “You’re really here.”
“It’s me.” You choke out through tears, “I’m here.”
taglist : @luv4kozume @worldlxvlys @flowerxbunnie @sturniolowhore @creamoncreamoncream2 @lvrsparadise @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 @tillies33ssss @chrissfavwh3re @its-jennarose @sophssturn @defnotayonna @ksskianshd @d0wnbad4chris @braindead4l @avasturn @luverboychris @remussbitch @stunza @rootbeerworshiper @dracoflaco @strnlsblog @domaniquessidehoe @mattslolita @junnniiieee07 @pepsienthusiasts @gamermattsgf @cupidsword @iloveneilperry @matt444nixi @sturniololol @evieolo @dlyansworld @luv2matt @nmegamett20 @angelic-sturniolos111
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icysnails · 1 year ago
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Hello. I was wondering if you could you write a platonic angst story where the reader is Blade's child. I was thinking that because Blade barely spends any time with the reader unless it's during one of their extremely harsh training sessions the reader decides to run away especially after one particularly rough training session where the reader was injured after they accidentally talked back and that night the reader starts packing their stuff but they accidentally left behind their late mother's pendant and Blade found it the next morning. (I hope you're okay with writing this and I wish you a good morning, afternoon or good night ☺️)
Family.
A/n: Hello Anon!! Thank you for your request!! I am so sorry this took so long- school + extracurriculars started so I had way less time to work on writing outside of school (TvT) But this was so much fun to write! I got a little bit carried away and it ended up being a found family type thing with all of the Stellaron Hunters– I tried to focus on Blade being a father figure as much as possible though! I hope you have a fantastic day, and I hope you enjoy!! ૮꒰ ˶• v •˶꒱ა ♡
Warnings: all relationships are platonic, found family trope, betrayal, suicidal ideation (Blade), mentions of death, reader's parents are dead, flashbacks, reader runs away, mention of bullets + broken glass, overthinking, Blade being insecure, reader uses a sword, reader gets injured a couple of times (If i forgot anything, please let me know!!)
Genre: angst, slight fluff
Pairing: father figure!Blade x gn!child!reader (PLATONIC), mother figure!Kafka x gn!child!reader (PLATONIC), sister figure!Silver Wolf x gn!child!reader (PLATONIC)
Word count: 7.3k
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Blade is a cruel man. 
There is no love in the red pools of his irises, no signs of any humanity. Dark circles adorn the skin just below his merciless stare, eyebrows slightly furrowed in an eternal state of aggravation. It was no wonder enemies cowered at the mere mention of him. He holds nothing back, and if an enemy was unfortunate enough to meet the steely edge of his sword, they were sure to be broken and lifeless by the end of the encounter. Unfortunately, he isn’t much different off of the battlefield either. 
Blade is bitter and selfish and cold, to the extreme that even Kafka and Silverwolf are convinced that he has forgotten how to feel.
The thorns of the mara in his veins torment him constantly, the pain never faltering, even after decades. The other Stellaron Hunters had begun to wonder if those thorny, agonizing vines had punctured through his heart as well. It would be understandable, to an extent. After all, he is a man who has experienced endless with suffering and loss, his mind poisoned with grief and the sole desire to die. No more pain, no more fighting, just darkness- the mere thought was enough to drag a bitter smile out of him.
He was used to the dark, used to feeling like an empty vessel. 
But why, if he was so familiar with agony, would he impose that same feeling on you as well? 
You had always been alone. You were only a toddler when your parents were taken from you, the only proof of their existence being a necklace your mother left with you before she died. You had spent your youngest years void of any parental guidance, hopelessly wandering between foster homes and planets, hoping someone would take you in. You gave that up by age ten, running away from your home planet to travel the galaxy. From that point on, most of your time was spent sneaking onto Starskiffs, hiding in empty cargo compartments on any moving vehicle you could find, and even stealing authorization keys to search occupied space stations, all in search of someone whom you could call family. 
But what exactly did the word family mean?
You always thought it was a strange word. It had such a subjective meaning, yet it was talked about so often. You didn’t understand what it meant, and no textbook definition could help you. All your efforts to find its meaning were in vain. And yet, your curiosity haunted you. 
With every new destination, the word family buzzed among the crowds constantly. No matter where you had landed yourself, all you could do was spectate. You watched as children laughed and clung to the legs of their guardians, as relatives sobbed in unified grief over flower dressed gravestones, and as teenagers linked arms with each other, growing away from the protective grasps of their parents. 
Every planet you traveled to, every dragging, lonely step you took, that sickening, seemingly joyous word that made you feel so isolated was there.
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Six months after you had ran away, you went out alone to buy food. It was late at night, and you were preparing to head off to another planet the next day. Luckily, you bumped into a nice shopkeeper earlier who gave you some extra credits because she thought your coat was cool (in reality, she was just worried about you wandering off all alone, but didn't want to pry about your parents' whereabouts). So, you headed out amongst the crowds as you always did, pouch of credits in hand and determination plastered on your face.
But a woman stopped you on the way there and asked why such a young child was wandering around alone at night. She had a little girl with her, who looked no older than you. 
She asked you if you had any family she could call to come and get you, with the assumption that you were lost. You couldn't say anything. Instead, you just stared, your wide-eyed gaze pinned on the child that almost mirrored you. Almost. Perhaps if the world were kinder, your eyes could have donned the same innocent, joyful light. One of her hands was encased by her mother’s, while her other hand kindly reached out towards you. A cheerful “hello!” rang through the air as she tried to shake your hand. 
You stepped away from her. It was hard to breathe. You had seen all this before. Yet why was it so painful this time? 
Internally, you demanded the Aeons to tell you why the truth of your situation had to be rubbed in your face so blatantly. You were alone. You wondered if it might be good to explain that to them, to create some kind of connection with these people, but no words would leave your throat. Your heart felt like it was splintered in two.
You didn’t know how long you stood there staring, but you were sure the devastation tearing you up inside was evident on your face. The woman called out to you one more time, her worry falling on deaf ears as you backed away slowly. You took one more look at the girl before turning on your heel and running as fast as you could, sobs wracking your chest so deeply it hurt. 
You hadn’t returned to that planet since then.
You wanted the life that little girl had. You wanted to have a guardian.
But as the years went on, nothing changed. Your travels continued, and you came to terms with the fact that you might never know what family felt like. You made acquaintances as you traveled, friends, even. They never stuck around for long, though. The darkness always swallowed them up one way or another. And with every loss, the painful void in your chest numbed and steeled over a little more.
You thought that your life would always be this way. In truth, you had forgotten that there was any other way to live.
However, that was before a certain group of Stellaron Hunters swept you away from your life of solitude, and recruited you into their dangerous yet thrilling world. 
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A year later, you found yourself on a sand covered planet. You were on a train, heading to one of the planets' larger cities from a smaller town. There wasn’t any way you walk- it was too hot and the distance was too far. Otherwise, you would have spent your savings on something other than train tickets.
The trip was uneventful and for most of it you just stared blankly out the window, exhaustion and boredom settling in your bones. You were tired from running errands for the previous town's residents- it was onerous but it happened to pay well. Though you were happy to have a break, your mind wasn’t used to the quiet. The barren landscape outside did nothing to help. It was a dry, flat expanse that was dotted only with dead weeds and the scraps of broken automatons. In short, nothing of interest.
Aside from that, all was going well. You had enough credits to last you at least six more train rides and get food and extra supplies, and you had several acquaintances with whom you could stay in the next city. You made a point not to talk about your budgeting skills, as it would usually spur a torrent of questions from whoever you were talking to. You couldn’t blame them though, children your age typically didn’t devote themselves to a life of aimless travel. 
The train stopped right on time, and you stepped onto the platform that was crowded with people. As usual, you were met with the sight of teary-eyed relatives hugging each other, children running around and playing, and couples greeting each other. You kept your head down, feeling more inconvenienced than sad. In their excitement, the crowds always seemed to block your path to the other platforms. Besides, they say time heals all wounds, so why would you care, anyway? You awkwardly shoved your way toward a nearby stairwell, grunting as several people bumped into you. Just as your fingers made contact with the stair’s banister, ear shattering sirens echoed throughout the station.
Emergency lights flashed on and off in a blinding rhythm, the red glow engraining itself into your mind. Suddenly, pixelated bullets flew towards the ceiling, shattering several of the glass panels. Screams rang out in response, and the previously happy crowd flew into a panic, ducking to avoid the broken glass. However, the glass shards evaporated into more pixels before they could hit the crowd, preventing any damage from being done.
Amidst the swarms of people trying to escape, you cautiously walked closer to the source of the commotion. You really shouldn’t have, but the nagging curiosity in the back of your mind compelled you to do so. And even if it seemed dangerous, there was something off about this incident. After all, if the initiators were out for blood, wouldn’t they have attacked the crowd directly? If whoever caused this wasn't intending to cause harm, they must be looking for something.
As you got closer, you saw three figures: A magenta haired woman with lightless eyes, a pistol in one hand, and a glowing thread of purple silk in the other. She was leaning back against one of the platform’s pillars, watching the whole scene with fake amusement. The second person you saw was a smaller girl decked out in a myriad of purples and blues, her drill style ponytail swaying as she typed up coordinates on a hologram screen. And lastly, you saw a red eyed man with a glare so sharp it made your heart sink. You certainly did not want to be subject to whatever rage he had stored away. From the looks of it, he could kill you in a split second.
For some reason, all three of them seemed familiar. You couldn't quite place it, but you quickly realized, you knew who they were. Their faces were plastered on all of the IPC’s wanted posters, which were scattered on literally every planet you had been to so far. You couldn’t remember their names exactly, but you knew that, together, they were known as the Stellaron Hunters- the universe’s most wanted criminals. You should have recognized them from the pixelated bullets earlier- how could you have been so naive?
You could have tried to run, but it would be futile. You were already out in the open, and they had already seen you.
Your eyes widened in sheer panic as the man dressed in black set his gaze on your shaking form. There was no way you’d survive this encounter. Absolutely zero chance. He stepped toward you but was interrupted by the sound of a clanging of a spear. The station’s security officers surrounded the Stellaron Hunters, demanding that they freeze and turn themselves in immediately.
You covered your ears and ducked as a fight broke out, the Stellaron Hunters throwing themselves into battle. Your eyelids were screwed shut in fear until the sounds of fighting had ceased. When you opened your eyes, you looked up to see that all of the guards had been knocked out, and that the taller woman standing above you, watching you in a way that was eerie, yet... comforting somehow. Even so, your better judgment caused you to back away, frantically scrambling on the hot cement of the platform. The red eyed man yanked you to your feet before you could stand up, and a panicked noise left your throat as he dragged you toward his two companions. you caught a glimpse of his sword that was poised in his other hand, taking note that he was ready to strike if necessary.
“It’s a kid.” He grumbled, still glaring at you. 
The tall woman chuckled and took a step forward, observing the way you struggled to get out of her companion’s grasp. You were getting more anxious by the second, she could tell. No matter how strong and collected you acted, you were still just a kid, and you had the minimal strength of one.
“Let them go, Blade. I don’t think they mean any harm.”
Small, scared breaths left your throat as you were released, your shaking legs failing to hold you up. You fell to the ground, staring in shock at all that had occurred. What would have happened if they didn’t let you go? How much danger were you really in, and how the hell were you still alive?
Then, the monotone voice of the grey haired girl met your ears. 
“What a waste. Looks like those signals were nothing but a glitch.” She sighed. “There's nothing for us here.”
The scary man who grabbed you- Blade, as the woman called him- looked down at you crumpled form, eyes softening just the tiniest bit. Your fearful gaze met his, and you didn’t dare move. The two other hunters made conversation about their next moves in the background, while Blade narrowed his eyes coldly.
“Why aren’t you running?”
…What?
“Go. Lingering here will only bring you suffering”
Your fearful gaze then turned to one of confusion. It was unclear if his words were meant to be a warning or advice. Either way, it gave you the strength to pull yourself off the ground and attempt to respond, but all that came out of you was a strangled groan. Your body hurt, and everything had happened so fast that your mind was still trying to catch up. It wasn’t that you were trying to make an impression by staying, you just couldn’t bring yourself to run because of the adrenaline coursing through you. You hunched over and placed your hands on your knees to get your bearings. After a few minutes, you finally responded.
“Y- yeah, I… uh…” You hesitated, unsure of what to say. “...I have another train to catch...?” 
It came out like a question, which was unintended. It was the truth, but you were so nervous that you would say something wrong and provoke him. Your life may have been spared for the moment, but they could still change their minds, and you didn't want to re-dig your own grave.
The man beside you let out a small sigh before turning his gaze back to his two companions.
“Fine.” He muttered.
A few moments passed with you and Blade sitting in comfortable silence. or, it was comfortable him, at least. He was still and silent, ignoring you entirely. You just kept fidgeting the whole time, unsure if you should stay or run for the hills. It was borderline suffocating. thankfully, the tall woman came over again, ending your misery.
“Well, we’re off.” She said to Blade, prompting him to walk towards the edge of the platform where the smaller girl stood. Before walking off, she turned to you one last time. 
“Take it easy, kid.”
Something in your heart screamed at you to speak up. A strange urge began eating away at you, telling you that if you didn’t do something right now you’d regret it for the rest of your life. But do what? What could you do without potentially dying? It was stupid. And dangerous.
But that old feeling of longing, that desire to be a part of something wouldn’t leave you alone. Your desperation to attain a family of your own had been reawakened. Your undying hope, which laid dormant for years, was now ruling your judgment.
Just as they turned to leave, you stumbled forward and cried out.
“Wait!”
All three heads turned towards you. 
A purple set of eyes knowingly scanned you as you trembled, a smirk growing on the woman’s face. 
You anxiously gripped at your clothing, trying to summon up the courage to put on some kind of brave face for them. Before you think, pleas for them to take you with them were spilling from your throat. You told them that you wanted to see the universe and that if they gave you that opportunity, you’d do whatever you could to assist them. It was a partial lie- exploring the universe did sound fun, but it wasn't what you were truly after. Your true motivations were far too personal to tell them just yet. It felt like a wound had unexpectedly reopened ever since they arrived, and you were sure you’d crumble if you forced yourself to explain.
Luckily, you didn’t have to. You had the strangest feeling that they already knew your story to some extent. Even without the influence of your longing, you couldn’t deny that it was the opportunity of a lifetime. It wasn’t every day that you came across three highly skilled fighters who could quickly travel anywhere they wanted. You could save years worth of credits and injuries if you went with them.
Once you had finished your frantic explanation, you took a breath to calm your pounding heart. The silence you were met with was deafening, which you took to be a bad sign. A deep chuckle reverberated through the elegant woman’s chest as she took a decisive step closer to you. She hummed in amusement, holding her hand out for you to take.  
“You may not be crucial to our mission,” she leaned down to your height, voice almost a whisper, “but if that’s what you want, then who are we to disagree?”
You took her hand, heartbeat slowing to a calm pace as you did so.
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The days you spent with the Stellaron hunters were some of the most peaceful days you had ever experienced. 
You weren’t constantly slinking around trying to find information and resources for your travels, and it was the first time you had slept in a room that had officially been dubbed as your own. You weren't hopping between inns and the homes of your few friends. Even expenses weren't an issue anymore. It felt strange to have time on your hands. Guilt inducing, even.
You didn’t get too caught up in that though, since the confusion and questions plaguing your mind happened to be stronger than your melancholy. It was beyond your understanding how three of the most dangerous criminals in the entire universe could be so kind and willing to take you in. Perhaps it was because you had seen too much. You were a witness to Blade knocking out over ten armed guards. However, they were so powerful that they seemed to be able to get away with anything. Either way, you were a part of their goup, and that's what mattered.
As time went on, you grew closer to the Stellaron Hunters. Especially Kafka, who you learned was much less intimidating in regular life, and Silver Wolf, who was still as deadpan as before, but seemed subtly happier with you around. You also were officially introduced to Blade, and were promised that he wasn't always so brooding. That was hard to believe, though.
Silver Wolf was like a sister to you. She dragged you with her everywhere. She said it was a part of your duties to accompany her on errands, but in reality, she just enjoyed having you with her. Whenever a battle presented itself, she would have you on the sidelines cheering for her as she obliterated enemies in the blink of an eye. It was clear that your support went straight to her ego, but she also secretly wanted to impress you so that you'd view her as some sort of mentor. Silver Wolf wanted to be a reliable guide and friend to you, especially after you had been alone for so long. Thankfully, you didn’t mind spending time with her. In fact, chatting and playing video games with her became one of your favorite ways to kill time. The latter was clearly her passion– after all, her combat techniques were solely revolved around her exceptional hacking skills. 
Silver Wolf taught you how to play all her favorite games, staying calm and patient with you when you kept losing. Often, she would discreetly take you out to arcades during your free time, and every time it would be humbling due to your lack of gaming experience. However, losing meant that you had more time to watch her win, which was never boring. In any other situation, you might have been jealous, but it was just so mesmerizing to watch her play. Besides, she gave you all her prizes, so you weren’t going to complain. But what you found to be even more amusing was watching her lose it over the few games she hadn’t mastered yet. Her face would contort into one of sheer disbelief and anger as she held onto the machine tightly, aggressively mashing buttons and mumbling insults. You would always laugh and try to cheer her up in response. It always gave her a huge ego boost, and convinced her to try again, despite still being angry. You never expected to gain such a dear friend when you joined the Steallaron Hunters, and you wouldn’t trade any part of your friendship for the world.
Kafka was another story, though.
At first, Kafka terrified you. She held so much power over the other hunters- well, really over everything, that you were sure she’d destroy you if you stepped out of line. Her empty eyes and ruthless reputation didn’t help either. 
Ever since your arrival, Kafka kept a close eye on you. She made sure that you were alright as you settled in, and that you weren’t feeling unsafe or lonely in your new environment. She offered you comfort and advice and cared for you like the mothers you had witnessed on your past journeys. 
One night, a month after you had arrived, you hurt your leg on a walk and Kafka was right there to patch you up. She shushed you gently as you tried to protest that you were fine, and dragged you to the nearest chair so you could sit. She took a first aid kit from a nearby cabinet, and began tending to your wound. You winced as rubbing alcohol combined itself with your blood, and you quietly explained that you had been doing this your whole life- that it wasn’t her job to take care of you. Kafka paused and looked at you, eyes showing a rare glint of sadness. She whispered to you that those days were over. You weren’t alone anymore, and you should ask the three of them for help whenever you needed it. You weren’t a burden to them. 
Kafka wasn’t sure what the cause of it was, but something in her chest began to ache when she saw you injured. She had never felt fear before. She deemed it impossible before you came along. She had always been known as a ruthless, unshakeable force of danger, who would stop at nothing to achieve her goals. But now, she had to keep you safe. Part of her wanted to berate herself for getting so protective over someone, for willingly weakening herself by caring about you. But you needed safety and a group of loving people to return to. You were just a kid, after all, and even after the short time you had been traveling with them, she had begun to feel like your guardian.
Tears filled your eyes, her words weighing down on your lungs. You couldn’t truly believe her. Not after all you had been through. But even so, Kafka was right in front of you, smiling softly, waiting and willing to take care of you. She wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. It was a foreign feeling, one that scared you more than anything else. But you were safe. You were at home. 
So you let yourself cry. Your heart split open, all the bottled up agony from your past finally bursting out. You curled into yourself, the gash on your leg long forgotten. Kafka kneeled before you and gently wrapped her arms around your shaking form. One of her hands carded through your hair, while the other rubbed your back soothingly. Gentle whispers fell from her lips, promising you that she was with you. You were safe.
You weren’t sure how long had passed when you calmed down. Maybe it had been hours. Whatever the truth was, Kafka remained by your side, not pulling back until she was sure you were okay. After you had stopped crying, she leaned back, meeting your sad, exhausted stare. She looked down at your bleeding wound, grabbed a roll of bandages, and cautiously wrapped it around your leg. When she was finished, she smiled and stood up, placing a hand on your shoulder. You matched her smile, assuring her that you were fine.
However, after a moment, Kafka’s comforting smile was replaced with a teasing smirk. Confusion sparked in your eyes and your eyebrows furrowed as if to silently ask what the problem was. She just chuckled and took a seat across from you, crossing her arms over her chest and tilting her head back as though she was assessing you. Her next words not only shocked you but caused your entire being to wilt in annoyance and anxiety.
“I think it’s about time we start training you in combat. If a scrape has you in this much pain, imagine the damage a real battle would do. We can’t have you dying on us, now can we?” 
She paused, thinking for a moment before reaching her conclusion. 
“Yes… I’ll have you train with Blade. His abilities never disappoint.”
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And that was how your ongoing feud with Blade began. 
When Kafka decided to pair you up with Blade, you were pissed. However, you knew she was right. If you were falling apart just from accidentally scraping yourself, how were you supposed to handle actual threats? You would be utterly useless in a fight. And if anyone managed to get past the Stellaron Hunters and attempt to harm you, you would be dead on the spot. There wouldn't be a fight, just abrupt darkness, and a very disappointing end to a life such as yours. It would shatter the hearts of Kafka and Silver Wolf, who had already sworn to protect you at any cost. As you got older, the target on your back only became bigger. With the Stellaron Hunters’ reputation becoming more notorious by the day, civilians and authorities alike were bound to find out about you. Self-defense was a necessity.
But Blade never spoke to you. You felt as though you were a nuisance to him. Just another issue to be dealt with, another soul to pester him throughout the day. The way he glared at you made you wonder if you had done something wrong, or if you were imposing by being around. He made you feel out of place. Even after thorough reassurance from Kafka and Silver Wolf that his behavior was entirely normal, you still couldn’t help but worry. It was only after several months had passed that you came to understand that it truly wasn’t you- he was just grumpy. And that began to annoy you. If he wasn’t open to being somewhat nice, then why should you bother? You could glare back just as hard, and ignore him just as easily. If that's what he was getting at, then so be it. However, Kafka was the leader of both of you, and she wanted you to train. Despite your mild hatred of Blade, Kafka already had done so much for you. She only wanted the best for you. You could at least attempt to abide by her wishes.
So you gave in and begrudgingly stated training with Blade. 
For a few hours every day, you and Blade would find any open area and he would walk you through different defense techniques. You expected the technical side of it, but you did not expect that you would be sparring right off the bat. On the first day of training, he threw you into your first match and charged at you with the assumption that you had sharp enough reflexes to block him successfully. Obviously, you weren’t at all prepared since you had zero experience with combat. Turns out Kafka really wasn’t kidding when she said Blade knew how to fight.
Lessons carried on like this for weeks. You would return from sparring exhausted and bruised, feeling completely done with everything as you limped to your room to sleep. You felt generally bitter, making it hard for Kafka or Silverwolf to help, and Blade just acted like it wasn’t his problem. The most he did was help you up, and that was only if you put up a good fight. But thankfully, after a while, Blade began to notice how badly the sparring affected you. It wasn’t like you were on the brink of death, but you were still in pain. And given your age, there was no doubt that it was a lot more overwhelming than anticipated. So Blade subtly began to take care of you a little more. It wasn’t much- he mainly just gave you icepacks whenever you needed them and helped you walk, but it was the most he knew how to do. He was clueless when it came to caring for people, especially children.
You were a persistent kid, which Blade found surprising. He thought you would have given up within the first week of training, but you just kept working at it. And while Blade found your stubborn behavior annoying most of the time, it assured him that you had enough courage to fight alongside him and the others. He knew you didn’t like him much, and he knew a part of you blamed him for the injuries you got, which was reasonable. As annoying as you found him, Blade never gave up on you, even when you messed up or got so frustrated that you cried. He never babied you during these moments either. Instead, he would walk you through what went wrong and have you run through the solution until you had it down cold. Even if you were upset, he wanted you to push through it and use your anger to become stronger. You had been fighting your whole life. You had the tenacity and potential to gain the strength that you required. Blade could tell that, even after joining them, you wanted a purpose. You wanted to explore the universe and find your place among the glowing webs of stars. However, the beauty of the galaxy came with dark and unfamiliar territory. If you were to traverse the universe, you had to learn how to handle to darkest parts of it.
Little by little, you improved. You worked as hard as possible until you were able to withstand Blade’s strength and evade his attacks properly. You had a long, long way to go before you could actually defeat opponents, but you could at least hold them off, which was just as important. Despite how grueling Blade’s teaching methods were, you did come to respect him more as your mentor. He looked out for you in his own distant ways and seemed to actually care about you. In truth, Blade had started getting protective over you- not that he would admit it. It wasn’t an overbearing kind of protectiveness- he just wanted you to stay out of trouble. It was nice to pass knowledge onto someone, and protect them from the world's dangers by doing so.
The truth was, even if Blade acted indifferently toward you, he secretly was really proud of you. He admired your kindness, even after all the pain you had been dealt. You kept smiling and picking yourself up, finding your back to the light time and time again. Perhaps that's what made you so different from him. His will to keep fighting was growing fainter by the day.
Even with your differences, you both became closer. Blade kept an eye on you whenever you left the ship, talked with you whenever you got bored, and even helped you whatever chores you had to do. Sure, you were stubborn, but Blade never grew to dislike you. Your relationship felt routine and safe- it held a sense of comfort that felt normal. Blade caught himself questioning if this was what family was meant to feel like. He couldn't remember, but a faint, distant memory assured him that it was. If he could contribute to the familial safety you longed for so much, he would gladly do so. 
Was that even possible, though?
Blade had very little experience with love of any kind. Any memories he had of his past friend and family were long gone. His own sense of self was unstable, so how could he provide stability for you? He couldn't bear the thought of causing you pain. Or, there was a chance that he would rub off on you. That you would start to become like him. That prospect was enough to make him feel sick. So he began distancing himself from you in any way he could.
Now, whenever you crossed paths he would treat you especially coldly. Most times he saw you, he walked past you and pretended you didn't exist at all. He was back to being rude and dismissive, even more so than when you first met him.
Instead of encouraging you during training, he would call you weak and pick apart everything you had done wrong. This was not received well by you. After all, you didn’t know if Blade’s behavior was your fault, or if this was just how he truly was. You felt dejected and lonely, even with the support from Kafka and Silver Wolf. Though you loved them immensely, Blade was also someone you cared about, and you didn’t want to lose another parental figure. After weeks of being ignored, hatred replaced any good image you had of him. What used to be a safe, happy friendship soon morphed into an incessant rivalry. 
It felt like Blade only wanted to see you unhappy. You imagined that he was secretly gloating over your distress- that you were nothing more than a temporary amusement to him. But you were wrong. So, so very wrong. Blade hated seeing you upset because of him. He was failing you by ignoring your wellbeing. You were just a kid. More importantly, you trusted him.
But it was for your own good, wasn’t it? His past was dark, and perhaps he was too, by nature. He would never forgive himself if he allowed harm to come to you. Even if that meant leaving you behind. No, he would much rather watch you grow up and live happily from afar. 
Kafka still wanted you to train though, so Blade couldn’t avoid you entirely. Sparring was the only time he saw you anymore. Your sessions with him were difficult, but not because the material was hard. In fact, it was harder for Blade than you. You would glare at him constantly and show complete indifference to everything, making it nearly impossible to communicate with you. He wasn’t doing much better either- he couldn’t bring himself to say anything to you. It felt like the consequences of his neglect were crawling up his back, ready to snap at him at any moment, and he knew that any day now, you would finally break. Soon, everything would fall apart.
You knew Blade was heartless, but his cruelty was amplified when you trained with him now. He went all out, forcing you to scramble for scraps of knowledge he had previously given you to win. But that wasn’t enough this time. You were too tired, physically and emotionally, to continue. You felt smaller and weaker than you had ever felt before.
Lightning-fast blows struck you from all sides, the scent of bloodstained spider lilies clouding your senses. You weakly pulled your sword out of its sheath and tried to block his attacks, but doing so would knock you off balance from the force of his blows. You fell back on the ground, coughing and clambering to your feet, promptly hurling yourself towards Blade with hopes of hitting him just once. Built-up anger from the last few weeks rushed through your heart, tears of desperation dripping down your cheeks. God, you were tired of this. Blade used to be your friend. You wanted to know what changed, and you wanted that piece of your family back.
In your fury, your reaction time fell short. Blade darted behind you and shoved you to the ground, watching coldly as you crumpled over in defeat. A glint of regret shone in his eyes, but he quickly covered it up by turning his back to you. Once more, you picked yourself up, your throat burning from the lack of a break. It must have been hours since the start of your match, but it might have just felt that way because you were the one getting injured. Never before had Blade fought you this hard. You weren’t prepared, and he knew that. You internally questioned if he was actually trying to make you despise him, albeit sarcastically. It hadn’t occurred to you yet that it might actually be the case. You shakily lifted your head to look at him, angrily mumbling something that Blade couldn’t understand.
Blade took a breath and turned around to face you, blank expression unwavering. 
“What was that?” He growled. The world seemed to fall silent as you locked your gaze with his in an act of defiance.
“I said, I hate you!”
You hated that you were crying. You hated feeling weak. You hated what he had put you through.
But you didn’t hate him. Not entirely.
You wanted to hate him fully. You wished you were strong enough to. But even then, as you wiped your tears and walked out, you couldn’t bring yourself to hate him. Maybe it was the memories you had of when he felt like family, maybe it was inherent kindness or just plain stupidity. You couldn’t feel hatred. All you felt was dejection. So naturally, you began spiraling. 
If Blade didn’t want you around, there was a chance Kafka and Silver Wolf didn’t want you either. If it was possible that they secretly hated you too, you wouldn’t allow yourself to withstand their rejections as well. You might as well just get out of their way, and save yourself the trouble. It was nice feeling happy for a while. But it wasn’t what you were made for. It wasn’t how you were used to living. Perhaps this was a sign that your destiny rested in the familiar arms of solitude, away from the glowing crowds.
That night, when you returned from training, you bid Kafka and Silver Wolf goodnight and began packing your bags. When you were sure everyone had gone to sleep, you took your leave. You slipped out of the ship’s main entrance, the frigid night air numbing the uncertainty in your chest. You started walking, not sure where you were headed. You were out of practice with your usual travel routines, but that wasn’t important. As long as you were away from the Stellaron Hunters, you would be safe. Lonely, but safe. But even with your half hearted reasoning, you still felt a sinking feeling that this wasn’t right. That you might regret this. You shoved it off, cursing at yourself quietly for getting so softhearted. It was time to cut ties. It was for the best.
However, you had made one vital mistake. While preparing to leave, you had purposely left behind any photos or items given to you by Kafka, Silver Wolf, or Blade. In your rush to leave, you accidentally left behind something incredibly important to you: your mother’s necklace. 
You took it off and left it on your desk by accident. It was the last existing link between you and your biological parents and you cherished it because of that. So when Kafka found it the next morning, along with your neatly made bed and discarded photos, she knew something was very wrong. Silver Wolf burst into your room shortly after she found them, questioning Kafka about your whereabouts. She had no answer, all she could do was say she hadn’t seen you. Silver Wolf left worried and agitated, grumbling about how they had to find you. As Silver Wolf left, Blade approached your doorway with the intent of finding you for your training session, because at this point you would have been late. Gripping the necklace tightly, Kafka turned to face Blade. She knew there tension had been growing between you and him for the last month. If he was the cause of your absence, she would not let him get away unscathed.
Blade’s expression was serious, but Kafka could see the glint of confusion in his eyes. He seemed entirely clueless, so perhaps interrogating him wouldn't do much.
“There’s no sign of them anywhere on the ship,” she said softly, trying to keep her voice steady. “There’s only this.” Kafka gestured to the thin chain that lay forgotten on your desk. Dread immediately shot through Blade’s heart.
You had left.
And it was all his fault.
He neglected you. You had every right to leave. He was meant to be a guardian to you. It was his job- no, his privilege to keep you safe, and failed to do so. And now you could be anywhere in the galaxy, wandering aimlessly once again. Blade carefully took the necklace, trying to keep his composure as questions and visions of the worst raced through his mind. What if they never found you, or what if you had gotten hurt? What if it was too late, and you were already–
He didn’t allow that thought to finish itself. Catastrophizing would only slow the process of finding you. 
But would you even want to come back? Why would you, when you felt unwelcome enough to leave in the first place? And even if, by some miracle, you came back, would you ever trust him again? If you ever granted him forgiveness, would he even deserve it?
This was what he wanted, wasn’t it? That was why he pushed you away- so you would leave him alone. You were gone now, and he had gotten what he wanted. Was he truly so terrible that he would still be unhappy, even after he had achieved his desire?
It wasn't meant to go like this.
You weren't meant to leave them. It was his fault though, so maybe it was best to let you go.
Kafka’s piercing gaze bored into the side of Blade's head as she watched the gears turning inside his head. She took a short breath before heading towards the door. She was scared of losing you, and angry that they hadn’t noticed your absence until now. There was no time for emotions such as anger. You were missing. They had to find you.
Blade stood in the center of your room, now entirely alone. The metal of your necklace dug into his skin as he clutched onto it for dear life, his eyes falling to the pictures on your bed. You seemed so happy before. So did Kafka and Silver Wolf- he was happy too, though he was reluctant to admit it out loud. He had broken the loving family you had brought together. A strange family, but a family nonetheless. 
Blade kept staring. He wished he could go out looking for you. Unfortunately, wishes are not reality.
Blade would not search for you that day. He would be chained to where he stood, fighting with himself internally as time slipped by quietly. You could have died already. And he was just standing there, staring.
No, he would not look for you.
Because the truth cannot be denied, nor masked with excuses- in the end, Blade is a cruel man.
One who cannot be changed by anything.
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1K notes · View notes
merchen-aeravellae · 2 years ago
Text
Under your balcony
Warnings: suicide, arranged marriage, manipulation, stalking, use of poisons
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The beautiful city of Valvevia hides more than great museums and palaces that people can admire during the day, it also hides desperate monsters that hide at night without anyone observing them.
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Desperate Romantic Yandere who is supposed to hate you, after all, both families have been enemies for centuries and it doesn't seem like that situation will change anytime soon.
Desperate Romantic Yandere who couldn't help but have a crush on you since you two were teenagers, always looking for an opportunity to be close to you or to be noticed.
Desperate Romantic Yandere who already has all his friends annoyed, he only talks about you day, afternoon and night, and even when he sleeps, you are the only thing on his mind.
Desperate Romantic Yandere who infiltrates your family's parties just to see you up close, but he is careful that the rest of your family does not notice his presence, he would not like you to see him while he fights with a relative yours.
Desperate Romantic Yandere who can't help but feel bitter and at times angry, if only the two families were not in disputes and fights all the time, he would have already asked for your hand in marriage a long time ago.
Desperate Romantic Yandere who thinks you might be interested in him too, in his mind there is no other man who loves you as much as he loves you and that should be one of the reasons why he is the one for you.
Desperate Romantic Yandere who is oblivious to the fact that you also hate his family, including him, that you would rather jump off a bridge or stick a sword in your heart than date him voluntarily.
Desperate Romantic Yandere who sneaks into your house every night to be able to watch you under your balcony wishing he could watch you before going to sleep.
Desperate Romantic Yandere who once tried to recite a poem to you under your balcony and having the moon as a witness, described the eternal love that he felt for you and that he wanted nothing more than to be by your side for all eternity.
Desperate Romantic Yandere who ended up running if he didn't want to end up with a pot on his head, in his hideout he could hear you yelling curses and threats, but that didn't make him fall in love less, quite the opposite.
Desperate Romantic Yandere who can also be very manipulative and unstable, and that side of him came out when he found out that your family were planning to marry you to the son of a marquis, his room became a mess after hearing the news.
Desperate Romantic Yandere thought of a thousand ideas to avoid that marriage, but nothing seemed good enough.
Desperate Romantic Yandere had an idea when one of the many nights of visiting you under your balcony, he dazzled a young woman who was walking near where he was.
Desperate Romantic Yandere who recognized the young lady, it was your younger cousin who he had only heard very little about her and who at that moment he had decided to use her as a pawn to get to his lover, you.
Desperate Romantic Yandere who began to court her in secret, filling her with "love" and gifts, reciting poems about a future together and pouring out all a passionate love poems that are really for you, refuses to write poems for another person that is not you.
Desperate Romantic Yandere who can't help but laugh maliciously, in less than 3 weeks he made this woman fall at his feet begging for more of his love, every day he was closer to reaching the last facet of his plan.
Desperate Romantic Yandere who convinces her that everyone wants to separate them when in fact no one but them knows about their "relationship" and that they should go to more extreme measures to avoid being separated, he tells her that they should commit double suicide.
Desperate Romantic Yandere who advised her to write a letter describing how she had fallen madly in love with a member of the enemy family excluding his name, he would not risk them discovering his plan, much less you and that they had decided of their own free will to end their lives so as not to have to live another day without each other.
Desperate Romantic Yandere who gives her the white widow poison, a poison so deadly that the person dies in minutes without a cure to reverse the effect, convinces her that after her, he will also take the poison a lie and while he watches her die, thinks about who will be the poor soul of his own family who will take the role of the unfortunate lover.
Desperate Romantic Yandere who chooses his older cousin, if he disappeared, Desperate Romantic Yandere would be the next on the list to be the successor to take the title of duke, that would give him more advantage in being able to be with you.
Desperate Romantic Yandere who watches with joyful eyes as the city of Valvevia goes into a state of panic when they discover the tragedy of the ill-fated lovers, the two families involved are devastated and have no time to continue their quarrel as they are so busy mourning their dead.
Desperate Romantic Yandere who convinces his family that they should make a peace deal with the other family, but not just any deal, but a marriage deal and convinces them that you and he would be the best option, if the family wants to protest he reminds them about the recent tragedy and how they could avoid a similar event in the future.
Desperate Romantic Yandere that his plan was a complete success when he discovered that your marriage with the maques had been canceled and that your family had accepted the marriage proposal that his family had sent in a letter while explaining the advantages of a union of the two families.
Desperate Romantic Yandere who is so ecstatic to see you walk down the aisle of the church towards him, daydreaming about what married life would be like and that he finally had everything he deserved. Instead, you were dying inside, first you had lost your darling little cousin and now you've been forced to marry the worst man you've ever known, and you were convinced that somehow he had planned all of this.
Desperate Romantic Yandere "to be with you is my dream, everything I long for and desire, it is my need and my reason for being"
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justmeinadaze · 9 months ago
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Little Girl Gone Part 5 (Steddie X You)
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Warnings: Soft Dom Officer Harrington/ Soft Dom Gangster Eddie & Sub Fem Doctor Y/N, SMUT, overstimulation, dp, light spanking, light choking, aftercare.
ANGST! Reader gets caught in a lie, someone threatens her relationship with Eddie, Reader gets punished for lying, mentions of exes, mentions of Eddie's dick dad, Cliffhanger ending! *evil laughs*
Word Count: 6385
Series here
Steve sighs from his desk at the precinct as he scans through boring paperwork. This is the part of the job he hates. It reminds him of being dragged to his father’s office to “see how the family business is run”. Even as a kid he knew the corporate world wasn’t for him. When he enrolled in the police academy, his mother cried and his dad raged, screaming about how he abandoned his responsibilities. He didn’t care though; he wanted to do something good, not just with his life but for the city around him. 
He never expected to fall in love with a criminal nor did he indeed to. To him, Eddie was everything he wasn’t even though the gangster always commented about how similar they both were. After his breakup, Steve hardened his heart and became bitter as he focused solely on the job to avoid the pain he was in. In one 15min car ride, Eddie broke through that barrier and in that moment the officer knew he would do whatever he could to protect him. 
His phone vibrated and he grinned when he saw the message was from you. 
George Carver is investing in my clinic! Oh my God. I can’t believe he’s still willing. 
I can finally get better supplies and give my staff the bonuses they deserve.
That’s amazing, sweetheart! You deserve it. :) 
If you need anything else just let me know.
I’m so happy for you, honey. We should celebrate tonight!
I should be out of here on time.
“Steve, there’s a man in interrogation room B asking to speak with you.”
The officer nods towards his colleague, exhaling as he stands and heads that way. When he enters the room, his eyes rake over the seemingly agitated young man as he takes a seat across from him and opens the file that was given to him. 
“Gabriel Wiley. I heard you wanted to speak with me.”
“Is that camera still broken? The few times I’ve been in here it was never fixed.”
“Why does it matter, Gabe? Something you don’t want my captain knowing?”
“No…it’s something YOU don’t want him knowing.”
That gets the officer’s attention as he shifts his gaze towards the man in front of him. He wasn’t like the usual people brought in or who came in with a tip that could help. Gabriel was well dressed from top to bottom in an expensive looking suit but seemed as if he had been pulling on it from stress as the tie was missing and the top few buttons were undone. 
“I don’t have time for this so if we can get on with it—”
“I need Edward Munson to stay away from Y/N.”
Steve blinked in surprise as he folded his arms and leaned forward. 
“How do you know Y/N?”
“Does THAT matter? She’s not safe with him and as his friend I would imagine you would want to keep the peace between everyone.”
“Are you threatening him?”, the officer growled.
“No… but the people I do business with could do some damage to them both and I don’t want that. You have three days, Mr. Harrington.”
As the man stood up, Steve flew from his chair, grabbing the man’s collar, and roughly pushing him against the wall.
“If you hurt either of them, I swear to God, they will never find your body.”
Gabriel nods as if accepting that this will be his fate as he pats the officer’s arms, signaling to let him go. 
“Nothing will happen if she stays away from him.”
***
“Stevie, you’re finally here! I got champagne and Y/N put some food in the oven so oddly enough you’re right on time—”
“Do you know this man?”, he interrupts as Steve shoves his phone screen in your face.
“What? No. Why?”
“What about you, Ed?”
Eddie takes the phone and gives it a good once over.
“I’ve never met him but other gangs in town hire low level people all the time. Garth and Jeff know better than to do that on my side. I don’t like having people I don’t know in my organization. Why, babe? What happened?”
The officer sighs as he throws a file on the counter that his boyfriend opens and sifts through. 
“Gabriel Wiley came in today asking for me by name and said that you needed to leave Y/N. We had three days or else ‘things would happen’.”
“What THINGS?”, the gangster grumbled low in anger.
“I don’t know. We need to find out who he is working for. It looks like he’s done some petty crimes…did about 6 months in Hawkins Pen…”
“Maybe I should talk to him…since it seems to involve me and he doesn’t want me with you.”
“That may be exactly what he wants. No, Y/N, just stay with me for the time being, ok?”, Eddie practically pleads as you nod. 
The three of you try to still celebrate the evening with both men drinking way more alcohol than they should. You knew better, pretending to sip more than you actually were. After they passed out, you slithered out of their hold to scan the file Steve had brought home with him. 
Gabriel had been arrested numerous times like the officer mentioned for things like disorderly conduct and theft. He spent 6 months in jail for robbing a store in Eddie’s territory but since then he hasn’t seemingly been in any trouble. 
Grabbing your bag, you slipped out of the loft, down the back stairs, and headed for your car. 
###############
Gabriel answered the door when you knocked in just his sweats and a shocked expression. 
“Y/N, what are you—”
“What are YOU doing, Gabe?”, you asked in annoyance as you pushed past him into his home. “Why are you going to police stations to threaten the life of a gangster?”
“Why are you dating one?!”
“That’s none of your concern! You’re the one who refused to get your life together!”
“Oh, so you upped your game from blue collar criminals to full on murderers?”, he asked as he leaned against the back of his couch. 
“Fuck you! I’m finally happy and with someone who cares about me—”
“And I didn’t?!”
You both heavily sigh as you place your hands on your hips. 
“Why did you threaten me and Eddie to Steve today?”
“I didn’t threaten you. Someone is upset that you’re with him—”
“Who?”
“I can’t tell you. I’m not even supposed to be talking to you or that cop but… Y/N, I loved you. I never stopped. Even after I went in and you dumped my ass. I told myself when I got out I would grovel at your feet but then things happened…I needed to keep you safe.” His eyes meet yours with sympathy for a moment before they flood with anger. “You need to leave and you need to leave Edward Munson, Y/N, or else.”, he growled as he grabbed your arm and started pushing you towards the front door. 
As he swings it open, he gasps as he comes face to face with the gangster himself.
“You know, I had a feeling you were lying when you said you didn’t know him but I’m kind of disappointed that you thought we were stupid enough to fall for the ‘feed them alcohol till they pass out’ trick.” Eddie’s tone seemed calm but even you could tell he was furious. 
While you both backed away from him and he slammed the door shut, you backed into a broad chest that genuinely startled you. 
“Or else what, Gabe?”, Steve asked as he continued to step forward making the other boy stumble to the side as he backed you into the gangster, his eyes never leaving yours. “She needs to leave Eddie or what?”
“This is…I told you to…to talk to them. This is a bad idea, Steven.”, Gabriel huffed in what sounded like fear. 
“You lied to us. Why?” When your jaw clenched in defiance, his fingers pinched your cheeks. As the other man moved to defend you, Eddie pushed him to the ground and placed his boot on his chest. “From what I heard, he sounds like an ex, is that right?”
“Yes.”, you spat. 
“Why did you lie?” When you didn’t respond, he backed you into the wall and hovered his face in front of yours. “You are in a lot of trouble so I would skip the theatrics and come clean now. Why did you lie?”
When you push at his chest, his hand comes back around to grab your bicep and pushes you a bit roughly onto the couch. Helplessly you watch as both men grab your ex and throw him on the carpet in front of you as Eddie punches him hard in the face. 
“You said someone didn’t like that they were together. Why?”
“Go ahead and kill me. If I tell you everything, I’m dead anyway.”
The gangster hits him again as Steve grabs a chair from the kitchen and places it in front of you as he straddles the back. 
“Why did you two break up? I heard him say you left him. Why?”
“Does it matter?”
“It does because we asked. Now I’m starting to get annoyed with having to repeat myself so this is the last time I’m going to ask. Why did you two break up?”
“If you hurt him anymore I’ll leave you both, Steve.”
“B-Both? You’re with both of them?”, Gabe asked in surprise as his head fell back against the floor and he chuckled. “Jesus, this is way worse than I thought. Are you fucking him to?”, he asked Eddie whose eyes darkened at the man’s tone. “Just fucking kill me, Munson. I barely have it in me to kill the woman I love let alone a fucking cop.”
“Gabriel, what are you talking about? Did Jason Carver send you?”, Eddie asked as the man continued to smile before sighing. “Hey! Focus! Who do you work for?”
“Hawkins Penitentiary. Three years ago. Cell block G.”
The gangster’s eyes swiftly met his partner’s as he releases his hold on your ex. Promptly rising to his feet, he flies out the door with Steve following hastily after. 
“I’m so sorry, Y/N.”
Leaving the man on the floor, you run after them finding them arguing back and forth as the officer tries to stop Eddie from getting behind the wheel. 
“NO! You can’t confront him right now!”
“Steve, this is completely different then the Jason thing. I need to know why. Keep an eye on her and don’t let her leave my place. I don’t care what excuse she gives you. We’ll deal with her when I get back.”
Pausing for a moment, Eddie turns to give his boyfriend a passionate kiss before getting into his car and speeding away.
###############
Steve paces as he waits for his partner to come back. It had been over two hours since Eddie left and the officer was getting restless. 
“Steve—”
“Don’t talk. I don’t want to hear it.”
Thirty minutes later the door to the apartment opens as the gangster strides in with heavy shoulders as he sighs.
“Are you ok, honey?”, the man asks as he cups his face in his hands.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I straighten everything out but…”
“Is Gabe going to be ok?” Their eyes shift your way as you rise to your feet and place yourself in front of him. “Eddie…”
“I made a deal to keep you both, well Y/N, safe. I told his employer I’d dispose of him myself.”, he relayed in a calm demeanor as his chocolate hues never left your face. A heavy exhale left your lips as the tears began to flow. 
“Please tell me you didn’t…”
“I didn’t. I gave him some money and one of my guys is taking him to the next state over so he can get on a plane to leave the country. He fucked up but I guess we were lucky he was fucking in love with you.” Glancing towards Steve, he continued to relay information. “He was supposed to kill her to get back at me for ‘ruining his business’. Asshole is super fucking petty; always has been. Seems he doesn’t know about you. I’m surprised Jason hasn’t told him.”
“Who was he working for?”
Both men glared your way before the officer produced his handcuffs flashing them in your direction. 
“Are you going to answer our questions or are we doing this hard way?”
Fear dances through your eyes before they harden and glare right back.
“You said you would never use those tactics on me. That you would never hurt me.”
“That’s correct.” 
Steve lunges forward taking ahold of your arm, clinging to you tightly as you wrestle against him. Eddie drags a chair to the living room where you are placed and restrained as you begin to cry tears of frustration. 
“You can say ‘red’, Y/N, and we would stop right now. We meant what we said…we would never hurt you or use those methods to get you to talk but we know other ways.”, the gangster explained as he placed himself on his knees in front of you. 
They both waited for you to use the safe word, minutes passing as his eyes scanned your face. After a while, he nodded towards the officer behind you and you listened as he rummaged around the area behind you while Eddie cupped your face in his hands to try your tears. 
“Am I allowed to be rough to?”
The gangster couldn’t help but chuckle as his fingers began unbuckling your jeans so he could pull them down.
“You kind of are already by making this harder than it has to be. I don’t understand why you didn’t just tell us the truth. But sure, sweetheart, give us what you got.”
“Don’t mock me.”
“Or what, little girl? What are you gonna do?”
“What is it with you and chairs? Why do you always try and intimidate people in one? Is it so you can feel bigger than them?”
“We can move you to the railing if you’d like so you can stand.” After he nods again behind you, you wait as you feel Steve begin to uncuff you. 
“5 bucks, Munson.”
“You’re on.”
You had no idea what they were talking about but as soon as you were free your foot pushed against Eddie’s chest as you bolted for the stairs. Your plan was to gain the upper hand in his bedroom with your back to a wall but you should have known better. Steve did this for a living. 
You barely made it two steps before his arms were wrapping around you and pinning you to the floor. As he straddled your waist, he held your wrists down as you tried to wrestle back against his hold. 
“Told you.”, he sang. 
“I didn’t think she’d actually try and run. Fight back maybe but.”, Eddie laughed as he replaced his boyfriend’s grasp on your arms and dragged you the rest of the way towards the stairs. “Always surprising me, princess.”
Steve restrained you again to one of the rails behind you with your limbs above your head. You continued to try and kick him with your legs but when his hand came down hard on your behind you stopped. Almost too delicately, he removed your panties and you watched as he opened a decorative box, pulling out a new pair. Sliding them up your body, you shivered as the pads of his fingers traced your skin. 
You knew immediately something was off as the crotch area of the lace felt a bit heavier than a normal pair of underwear. 
“I actually bought this for you a while ago and saved it thinking it would be a fun anniversary present or just something to utilize as you walk around the loft.”, Eddie grins in amusement as he takes a seat in the chair you were previously in. “Now, let’s try this again, Y/N. Why did the two of you break up? He seems to still be in love with you so I imagine you did the dumping.”
Your jaw clenches as you turn your head away from them. Both men sigh as something beeps and the panties you were wearing come to life. As the little vibrations play with your clit, you glare their way again.
“Fuck you.”
“This thing is pretty nifty. I spent a good chunk of cash on it so I’m hoping it makes you feel really good, baby. See, we have this remote here that controls the setting and it can vibrate at 4 different levels. The one you’re feeling right now is that first one.”
Your eye lids flutter at his admission as your defiant features falter slightly. If this was the lowest setting, you were in trouble. 
Locking his intense eyes with yours, he presses the next setting.
“Fuck.”
You expect them to throw more questions your way but they remain silent as they watch you get slowly built up before your first orgasm washes over you. 
“Why did you two break up?”
As you shake your head, Eddie bumps it up to the next level making you whine. By your fourth orgasm, you were a mess, your legs weakly thrashing about as you tugged on the cuffs around your wrists. 
“I’m losing my patience, Y/N, especially since this is the easiest question to answer out of all the ones we have. WHY did you two break up?” Growling in annoyance Eddie began to reach for the next setting before you cut him off. 
“NO! No, please. He went to jail. He went to jail.”, you cried as you felt the build up again. 
“For robbing a store?”, Steve asked and you nodded. 
“What? Couldn’t wait 6 months? Doesn’t really give me hope if I go in.”, the gangster replied sarcastically making you angry. 
“It wasn’t his first offence. He had been getting in trouble off and on for years. I warned him! I told him if he got in trouble again I’d leave.”
“For years, huh. How long were you together?” They watched as your head hung as the coil snapped again. “You know what, Ed, I’m kind of hungry. Why don’t we go to kitchen downstairs and come back in about an hour—”
“2 years.”, you cried. “We were friends in college before we-we started dating.”
“Color, Y/N?”
They marveled at your defiance even in your current state as you spit in their direction. 
“Green, sir!”
Stomping your way and tired of your attitude, Eddie beckons Steve to release you and as soon as he does you fall into his arms, clinging to his neck as another orgasm ripples through your body. 
“Why didn’t you tell us you knew him?”
“Please, Eddie—”
Moving part of the now damp silk out of the way, he slide two of his fingers into your core and pumped them at a fast pace overwhelming your senses as you circled your arms tighter around him.
“He said he still loved you. Do you still love him?”, Steve asked sternly as he kneeled beside you both. 
“NO! H-H-How could you ask me that?! After everything I’ve done for you!”
“Then why did you lie?!”
“I didn’t want you to hurt him!”, you shouted as you trembled against him, soaking his fingers. 
You feel Eddie move around as you continue to cling to him before the vibration between your legs abruptly stops. Laying your head against his chest, you listen to his heartbeat and use it as an anchor to slow your breathing. 
“He worked for my father.” Leaning back, your eyes widen at the gangster’s admission. 
“That’s most likely why he never came back to ‘grovel at your feet’.”, Steve added. 
“I don’t understand. He only did…little things like…stealing cars and—”
“That’s how my dad started.”, Eddie sighed. “Why do you think he’s so fucking sloppy? Even Gabe was sloppy. Fucking walking straight into a police station to threaten me to a cop? Friend or not that’s a bad idea, not just for himself but for Steve. Probably why my dad’s been using him for small favors. They met during those 6 months, Y/N. He was in a different part of the prison but Allen made a deal with some of the guards to have him moved. He had originally intended to punish him for breaking into a store in ‘his’ territory. He likes to pretend it’s still his in there.”
“As a trade so to speak, instead of killing him they used him to do things on the outside. I wouldn’t know about it because I don’t care about petty crimes like robbery especially since no one got hurt. For things like that, I let Steve do his job.”
“Why…why would your dad want me dead?”
He smirks to himself as he answers.
“Because I’m happy. You see, sweetheart, it REALLY pisses him off that not only am I in charge but I’m a way better leader than he ever was and he knows that. If he had known about Steve, he probably would have sent someone a long time ago. Hopefully not the same guy because as you saw…he couldn’t do it.”
“And he’s not going to kill Eddie because too many people would turn on him including his uncle. Wayne’s not a violent man but he’d kill anyone who hurt his nephew.”
“When I went down there I didn’t tell him Gabriel was your ex but he already knew. Said that the asshole didn’t stop talking about you to grunts that were loyal to my dad. Fucking idiot…”
“Especially for a man preaching that he wanted to keep you safe.”, Steve murmured.
“Which is probably another reason he made a deal with me to kill him. A ‘your life for his’ trade so to speak. Y/N, I need you to understand that it took EVERY ounce of energy for me not to follow through.”
“Why didn’t you?”, you whisper. “Especially since you think I still love him.”
Their jaws clenched at your accusation as Eddie heavily exhaled. 
“I told you, little girl. I don’t enjoy killing people. If I don’t have to then I don’t.”
“Yet you wanted to?”
“Of course, I did. He could have gotten you both killed. Gabriel put you in danger and put Steve at risk. In this business, babe, sloppiness like that either puts you in jail like Allen or gets you killed and if I decided to kill him I would still have been able to sleep at night.”
It was your turn for your face to harden once more as you pushed yourself out of their embrace and utilized the rail to get to your wobbly feet. 
“Now who’s lying? Do you think I’m stupid? Yeah, maybe, that’s part of the reason you wanted to kill him but I know you, Eddie. I also heard you on that first night. ‘No one touches what’s mine.’ It fucking kills you that he still loves me, doesn’t it? If you could remove the ‘competition’ you would.”
Getting to his feet as well, the gangster stalks towards your pants and panties, tossing them roughly at your chest.
“You want to fucking leave and go be with that asshole? Have at it. Hell, I’ll even drop you off myself. We can take Steve’s cruiser that way we can get you there faster and away from us.”
“What about you, Steven? Could you have killed him out of jealousy?”
“In a heartbeat.” You blinked, taken aback by his answer. “I heard him yell at you saying that you ‘upped your game’ or some bullshit to a gangster but do you know the real reason you stay even though Eddie and I do way worse? Because we fucking care. For three years, Y/N, he’s been doing whatever Allen told him without question yet he supposedly loved you but when you begged him to stop doing what he was doing he didn’t. When he got out, he could have done the same thing Munson just did for him and ran away with you but he didn’t.”
“He didn’t give a fuck about you. I’m sorry, honey, but it’s true. We…” Steve gestures between him and Eddie. “…we do. We could have killed Gabriel. He could have brought him back here and we could have fucking tortured the hell out of him for threatening you but we didn’t because it would have hurt you. You asked us not to so we didn’t.”
“You’re right, Y/N. Like Steve, you are mine and no one hurts or touches what’s mine but that doesn’t mean Iwant to be the one to hurt you. I’m not vindictive like Allen and you’re not my possession. You’re my partner.”
“OUR partner.”
“Now, little girl, you want me to be honest? Here it is. Yes, the thought crossed my mind of following through and killing him especially when I think about him saying he still loves you. When he had his hands on you when he opened the door… He had the audacity to touch you… Fuck, I wanted to break his legs and tear him in half. Steve could have helped hide his body and then remove any evidence that he had any contact with us. I pictured it over and over on the drive back here…but I didn’t…because I love you.”
When your gaze shifted towards Steve, the officer shrugged as he nodded. 
“I loved you since the first sassy thing came out of your mouth. I fell in love with you that night after Andrew. You let me take care of you, fell asleep in my arms, and I knew then I didn’t want to let you go.”
“If…If I asked you to give up this life…and run away somewhere with me…would you?”, you ask in a small tone as your head slightly hangs. 
You’ve done this dance before and the answer killed you.
“You robbed a fucking liquor store? Why?! What did you need so badly that—”
“Y/N! I don’t have time for this! You’re my one phone call. Now I need you to come bail me out and—”
“With what money, Gabe?! You promised me. You promised me you would shape up and stop doing shit like this!”
“With what money, babe?”, he replies sarcastically. “You think college is fucking cheap? You think a house, marriage, and all that comes free?!”
“Well thankfully none of that is your concern anymore!”
“What?”
“I’m done…”
Gabriel releases a breathy sigh before responding again.
“Y/N, baby, please… I can do better. I’ll be more careful and—”
“Of course.” 
Your head shoots up at Eddie’s answer as Steve nods as well. 
“I’d never ask you to do that… I know people depend on you here.”
“I know, sweetheart.”, the gangster whispered. 
“So, what’s the plan, honey?” You look at the officer in confusion before he turns around and grabs his keys. “Are we driving you to where Gabriel is?”
Your head shakes as the day hits you and you start bawl. 
“Can we take a break, please?”
“Yeah, baby. It’s been a rough night. Do you want to go home?”, Steve asks and again you shake your head. Slowly, he walks forward till he’s inches in front of you. “Y/N, are you in that vulnerable headspace we talked about?” When you nod, he lifts you into his arms and you promptly wrap your limbs around him as you rest your head on his shoulder. 
You heard the long-haired boy pass you as he went up the stairs and the officer followed with you in tow.
“Honey, do you want to take a bath or anything?”
“I’m sorry I lied.”
“Thank you but, baby girl, that’s not what I asked.”
“I’d like a bath, please.”
You cling to his neck as he holds you waiting for Eddie to finish getting everything together and places you down gently in the warm water. Closing your eyes, you heavily sigh.
“I love you to…both of you…so much. I-I-I’ve wanted to say something before but you two have been together for over a-a year. The three of us have been seeing each other for a couple of months. I didn’t want to scare you off or—”
Fingers grabbed your chin as a cigarette tasting mouth met your own.
“Always be open with us, sweetheart. Always. Say it again…please.”
You chuckle through your tears as he smiles against your lips.
“I love you, Eddie and Steve.” 
As their kisses become more heated, you feel yourself becoming desperate to have them make you theirs. 
“I want you both…please…”
“Y/N, you need a break.”, the officer chuckles at your earnestness. 
“I had one. I’m ok. Please, please, please. I need to feel you both inside of me.”, you purr as your hand strokes his cock causing him to groan a bit. 
The gangster leans forward and kisses your shoulder as your breathing halts at the sudden intrusion of his thick fingers in your ass. 
“Have you ever done this before?”
“It’s…It’s been a while. Shit, that feels…amazing.”
Steve grins as his lips tenderly run along your chin to your neck and you cling to him as he guides two of his own fingers deep into your cunt. 
“Jesus, Eddie. She’s so fucking tight. I don’t think this little pussy can take much more.”
“Nooooooo, Steve. Please.”, you whine. “I can take it. I can take it. I can…”
“Fuck, sweetheart.” Climbing out of the tub, the long-haired boy splashes water everywhere and wraps his arm around your body to lift you off his boyfriend, carrying you haphazardly back into the bedroom. Your soaking wet frames trench his mattress as he lays on his back behind you and situates you with your back to him straddling his waist. 
“I’m gonna hold my cock…and you just…lower that sexy ass onto it…as slow as you need to.”, he panted.
Nodding, his length twitches in anticipation as you hold your cheeks open giving him a good view before gradually beginning to take him in.
“Oh. O-oh, Steve?”
“I’m right here, honey. You’re doing so good. I got you.”, he cooed as he rested his palm on your hip in front of you while his other caressed your face. “There you go. Just take your time, pretty girl.”
It felt like an eternity but when your hips finally connected with the gangsters, you carefully leaned your back onto his chest noticing then that his eyes were closed. 
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Just…trying not to cum early.” He smirked when you giggled. “You feel so good, Y/N. Your ass is just fucking choking my dick.”
Steve noticed your pussy flutter at the man’s words and he can’t help himself, leaning forward and licking a long stripe through your folds making you shudder. 
Inching towards you two on his knees, he reared back and spit onto your clit, rubbing it in with the tip of his cock, teasing you before he guided himself into your entrance. 
“Ah…God fucking damn it. I told you, Y/N…tight.”
Your head fell back as you begun to feel overwhelmed with the feeling of them inside you. 
“St-Steve, baby, I-I-I can feel you. Fuck I’m not gonna last long.”, Eddie whined causing the officer to bite his bottom lip as he thrust his hips at a faster pace. “What about you, princess? Are y-you alright?”
You didn’t respond, you could barely catch your breath let alone think. Ringed fingers circled around your throat as your mouth fell open and the officer’s deep voice pushed through the fog. 
“He asked you something, little girl. Are you in pain?”
“No.”, you murmur.
“Do we need to stop or slow down?”
“N-No. Please. Fuck me.”
Steve couldn’t help but chuckle as his head hung and both men moved at a faster, harder rhythm. Eddie’s palm looped around to massage your tit as the other boy’s thumb reached down to play with your bundle of nerves. 
A sudden feeling you had never felt before ran through your body and crashed into you like a wave. You screamed as you trembled, panting heavily as the coil in your stomach aggressively snapped and your felt something wet drench your lower half.
“Jesus fucking… Christ.”, Steve stuttered as his hips stopped moving and he dug his fingers into your waist as he came. 
At the sight above him, Eddie couldn’t hold back any longer as he hugged you to him and with a few more pumps released his seed inside of you. 
“D-Did…Did she…?”
“Yeah. Yeah, she did.”
It took them a few seconds to realize you had started to quietly sob into the pillow beside you and as carefully as they could they pulled out of you, moving your hair back so they could see your face. 
“Hey, hey. What’s wrong, honey?” Are you ok? Was it too much?”
“T-T-That…That’s never…never happened before… It just…felt so good. Did I ruin the moment?”
“Oh, sweetie. No, no not at all. That’s perfectly normal. Well…not for us…Aren’t you a doctor? You’ve never—OW!”, Steve gasped when his boyfriend smacked his bicep, widening his eyes as if to tell him to shut up.
“Y/N, what my idiot is trying to say is we’ve never made a girl…squirt…before. Geez, it sounds kind of crass doesn’t it?”, Eddie laughs making you softly smile. “You didn’t ruin anything, sweetheart. That was actually really sexy. Did you see what you did to him? Turned him into a teenager again.”
Steve grins as he blushes and lays down in front of you, placing a light kiss on your nose.
“I’m sorry. I hope I didn’t ruin anything.”
“No, you didn’t. I’m, um, I’m really tired though…heavy.”
“I can imagine but we can’t fall asleep with the bed in the state it’s in.”, Eddie jests as he gets to his feet and gently lifts you into his arms. “Babe, I’m going to give her a quick shower. I have some clean sheets in that closet back there.”
The officer bounces out of the bed and kisses his partner before placing a soft one on your cheek as you keen into the gangster’s neck. 
You’re so blissed out and exhausted, everything moves in a blur as you feel warm water on your skin, Eddie’s gentle touches, and the comfort of soft, clean sheets. 
“I’m sorry I lied to you. I swear I’ll never hurt you like that again.”
Arms circle around you as both men nuzzle their faces into your skin.
#######################
“Please be advised, going into Munson compound in 5.”
Steve’s eyes blink slowly open at the sound of his radio cackling.
“Shouldn’t Harrington be here? This is his case.”
“Well, maybe, he’ll actually answer his phone next time.”
Eddie’s head lifted as their eyes met. Reaching for his phone, he sent a message before getting out of bed and smashing it against the wall. 
That startled you awake but Steve’s palm over your mouth silenced you from making any noise. After making a shushing motion with his finger, he pointed towards his radio. 
“3 minutes till entry.”
Pushing against your back, he ushered you out of bed and quickly threw some of Eddie’s clothes over your naked body. Once you were situated, he hastily threw on his own clothes, and grabbed his gear along with anything else that would incriminate him as the three of you hurried down the stairs. 
Tugging on his hand, you pause as you show them a text message you got around 3am that morning. 
“Y/N,
I’m sorry for how things ended with us. I loved you and I was so fucking stupid for letting you go. I should have fought for us but I robbed that store instead. I knew Allen wouldn’t me go and I knew if I ran back to you, he would use you against me like he did with Eddie. 
He seems like a good man but I’m sorry, babe. I can’t let him to get you killed. 
Don’t be with him in the morning and don’t warn him. 
It won’t matter, trust me. 
Run, Y/N. Hell, take the cop with you if you have to have one of them but stay away from anything Munson. 
You have no idea what they’ve done…what they’re capable of…
I love you, 
Gabriel
“You were right…I should have let you--”, you whispered.
Eddie yanked your arm cutting you off and cupped your cheeks as his lips passionately kissed yours. 
“One minute to entry. This is it, guys.”
“This isn’t my first rodeo, pretty girl. I’ll be ok. I love you, sweetheart.”
“I love you to.”, you cry as Steve pulls you two apart and pushes you towards a vent he had pried open. 
The gangster shrugs, fighting the tears that want to push through. 
“I’ll find out what they know. It can’t be much.”
“Enough to storm my building. They’ve never done that before.”
The officer grabs the back of his boyfriend’s neck as they kiss and hug each other tightly. 
“Everything’s going to be ok, honey. I promise. I love you so much.”
“I love you to, my paladin.”
After you climbed in, Steve followed and Eddie hurriedly closed the grate behind you two just as a loud explosion filled your ears. 
You both watch through the window of metal as the gangster cleared his throat and his face hardened as he listened to the sound of officers screaming as they banged against his front door. 
“You’re going to follow me, ok?”, Steve whispers as you nod but as he turns to move, you freeze as you see Eddie raise his hands in surrender and the door loudly bursts open. 
Officers scream at him to get on the ground, grabbing him, and pinning him to the carpet as they handcuff his hands behind his back. 
“Come on, guys. You know I like it rough but this is ridiculous.”, he joked.
“Shut the fuck up, Munson. You’re in a lot of trouble”, Detective Hopper scolds. 
Lightly tugging on your sleeve, Steve motioned for you to follow with the gangster’s sarcastic chuckles echoing behind you. 
###############
@5tud10-54r4h @munsonzgf @eddiesguitarskills @supraveng
@lilaclazer @ima1986 @micheledawn1975 @foreverminliv @corkadymu
@lemme-slytherin-that-dick @joannamuns9n @dashingdeb16 @sashaphantomhive @corrodedcoffincumslut @aactuaaltraash @nailbatanddungeon 
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amournoir · 1 year ago
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Hi can u do a fic where the reader and Klaus are in a relationship and the mikaelson's hate her .
Thanks
𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐝𝐨𝐮𝐛𝐭 ┄ 𝐢
pairing: niklaus mikaelson x f!reader
count: 1.4k
warning: angst
author’s note: thanks for the request hun! 💋 p.s, here's part 2
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The streets of New Orleans pulsed with life, and Y/N, Klaus Mikaelson's spirited and vivacious girlfriend, seemed to embody the very essence of the city's energy. She reveled in the thrill of the night, seeking joy and adventure wherever she went. But little did she know that her vibrant spirit was causing a storm within the Mikaelson family. 
Rebekah and Elijah, Klaus's siblings, observed with disapproval as Y/N led Klaus into the wild festivities of the French Quarter. They detested her carefree nature, seeing her as a disruption to the carefully constructed order of their lives. In their eyes, Y/N was a distraction, a youthful folly that would only lead Klaus astray. The siblings had made their opinions known countless times, urging Klaus to end the relationship. They saw her as a threat to their family's stability and tried to set him up with a "more suitable" woman— a 30-year-old socialite whose poise and maturity contrasted sharply with Y/N's exuberance. 
One evening, as the Mikaelson family gathered for a somber dinner, tensions reached their breaking point. Rebekah and Elijah, fueled by their desire to protect their brother, confronted Y/N, leveling accusations of infidelity.
“You're nothing but trouble,” Rebekah hissed, her eyes flashing with disdain. “You're not right for Nik.”
Y/N's face paled, her heart pounding in her chest. “What are you talking about? I love Klaus with all my heart,” she protested, her voice trembling.
Elijah shook his head, his tone cutting like a blade. “You're young, reckless, and unreliable,” he stated coldly. “You're only going to hurt him.”
Tears welled up in Y/N's eyes as she struggled to find the right words to defend herself. She had always tried to be honest with Klaus, to give him everything he deserved, but now she felt like she was being torn apart by the very people she had hoped to call family.
“I love him,” she repeated, her voice breaking. “I would never hurt him, and I would never cheat on him.”
But her words fell on deaf ears, and the Mikaelson siblings remained adamant in their disapproval. Klaus, torn between his love for Y/N and his loyalty to his family, was caught in the crossfire of their bitter dispute. For days, the rift between Y/N and the Mikaelson siblings grew wider. Each encounter was fraught with tension, with accusations and misunderstandings that only deepened the wounds. Y/N felt isolated and alone, her heart heavy with the weight of their judgments.
One night, as the moon hung low in the sky, Klaus found Y/N sitting alone by the fireplace, tears silently streaming down her cheeks. He approached her, his heart aching at the sight of her pain.
“Love talk to me,” he pleaded, his voice soft with concern.
She looked up at him, her eyes filled with sorrow. “Your family hates me,” she whispered. “They think I'm not good enough for you.”
Klaus wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. “I don't care what they think,” he said firmly. “I love you and I won't let them come between us.”
But as the days turned into weeks, the constant pressure from his family weighed heavily on Klaus's mind. Doubts began to seep into his heart, and he found himself torn between his love for Y/N and the desire to mend the fractures in his family. In the depths of his turmoil, Klaus faced an impossible choice— to stand by the woman he loved or to appease his family by letting her go. His heart and mind waged war within him, leaving him in a state of inner turmoil that threatened to consume him.
As the darkness of uncertainty loomed over their once blissful relationship, Y/N and Klaus were left to navigate the shadows of doubt and find a way back to each other. The storm of angst and heartache showed no signs of abating, leaving them with the ultimate question…could love conquer all or would the family's disapproval be too much to bear? 
A few months had passed without another confrontation from his siblings but that silence period was over today. The Mikaelson mansion stood in silence, its opulent halls shrouded in a heavy tension that seemed to seep into the very air. Y/N, the vibrant and spirited love of Klaus Mikaelson's life, felt the weight of disapproval from his siblings bearing down on her like a storm cloud. At 23, her heart beat fiercely with a passion for life, but to Elijah and Rebekah, she was nothing more than a youthful whirlwind that threatened the delicate balance they had carefully crafted. 
It was a chilly evening, and as Y/N wandered through the dimly lit corridors, her footsteps echoing emptily, she couldn't shake the sense of unease that seemed to linger around her. The disapproving glances, the hushed conversations that ceased when she entered a room— all of it gnawed at her soul. It had been months since she had embarked on a romantic journey with Klaus, a love that burned with an intensity she had never known before. But even that powerful connection couldn't shield her from the critical eyes of his siblings.
Rebekah's icy words had sliced through the air like a blade. “You're just a child, Y/N,” she had said with a condescending tilt of her head. “My brother deserves someone who understands the dangers of our world.”
And Elijah, the embodiment of elegance and poise, had looked at her with a mixture of pity and dismissal. “Klaus is not one to be taken lightly,” he had warned. “You need to be more mature, more level headed.”
Each word had etched itself into Y/N's heart, a constant reminder of her perceived inadequacy in the eyes of those she so desperately wanted to accept her. As she entered the living room, she found Klaus standing by the grand window, nursing a tumbler of bourbon in his hand. His gaze was distant, his features etched with a mixture of frustration and weariness. She approached him, her heart aching at the distance she felt growing between them.
“Klaus,” she murmured, her voice soft and uncertain.
He turned to her, his eyes meeting hers with a mix of conflict and affection. “Y/N,” he said, his voice tinged with a hint of regret.
The silence that followed was heavy, a chasm that seemed to swallow their words before they could be spoken.
“I can't do this anymore love,” Klaus finally confessed, his voice breaking the stillness.
Y/N's heart shattered, the pain more intense than she could have ever imagined. “What do you mean?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
Klaus's gaze was tortured, his emotions warring within him. “Elijah and Rebekah,” he said with a sigh. “They won't accept us. They think you're too young, too impulsive.”
Tears welled in Y/N's eyes, and she felt a lump forming in her throat. “And what do you think?” she choked out, her voice quivering.
Klaus reached for her, his hand cupping her cheek with tenderness. “I love you,” he said, his voice raw with emotion. “But I can't keep going against my family. It's tearing us apart.”
The pain in Y/N's chest was suffocating, a weight that threatened to crush her. “So, what are you saying?” she asked, her voice shaking.
“I'm saying that we need to take a step back,” Klaus admitted, his voice barely audible. “Perhaps it's best for both of us.”
Y/N's heart shattered completely, and she took a step back, her eyes welling with tears. “You're choosing them over me?” she whispered, her voice cracking.
Klaus's eyes filled with anguish, and he reached out to her, his fingers brushing against her cheek. “Y/N…” he started desperately. “I love you, but I can't keep fighting this battle. I'm sorry sweetheart.”
The room seemed to close in around her, and Y/N turned and fled, her heartache echoing in the emptiness that surrounded her. Days turned into weeks, and the absence of Klaus felt like an ache that she couldn't escape. She could feel the weight of his absence in every corner of her life, a constant reminder of what once was.
As she stared out at the moonlit night, Y/N realized that love was not always enough to conquer the obstacles that life placed in its path. She had lost the man she loved, not because he didn't care, but because the world they lived in was too complicated, too tangled with expectations. lol She whispered his name into the night, her heart heavy with sorrow, Y/N learned that sometimes love wasn't enough to mend the fractures that threatened to tear their world apart. And in that painful realization, she felt the bittersweet ache of a love that had been both beautiful and heart wrenching—a love that would forever remain etched in her soul.
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superheroandcodlover · 1 month ago
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So before i finish the first chapter i do want to clear the relationship that each member of the batfamily has with the reader, so here it goes!
Damian
At first you and him were swore enemies and they would fight all the time behind the rest back since you don't want to lose the image of them towards you as a easy and no problematic kid it was the only way to get some attention but after you finally became a vigilante the thing between you two would calm you found his vulnerable side the side that dick loved and you got attached to him you two would fight often still but it wasn't anything compared to before and then his death happened....and that would cause a lot of things affecting YOU
Dick
He knows you but he doesn't care that much since he just assumed that you would always be there no matter what and he barely said hi to you thinking that you were okay you didn't need him right? you have alfred and the rest they sure love you even thought you were a little stubborn and annoying sometimes
Jason
Jason didn't know much about you like the rest but he did care he was the only one that shared more than a cold "how are you?" with you he tried to ask about your day but he was always busy leading to never really talking much with you just every now and then and your conversations were superficial talks about your day but it never was heart to heart conversation he would just nod and share his day too and then go to work with your dad
Bruce
He was never a father to you he cares about you just not deeply it was a bitter sweet thing since you looked so much like your mother who was a thief and a meta and he didn't do his father duties he left all that to alfred since he didn't know how to deal with you and well he was busy being batman and bruce wayne at the same time you sure understand you were a easy kid never doing anything wrong or asking for anything at all
Stephanie Brown
She is polite to you at least the two times you two meet she doesn't know you really well she just knows you exist but she won't think about you like never she prefers to hang out with the others
Cass
She is silent and you are too so it never was meant to work, just as Steph knows you exist but you are not in his top three priorities or five...or ten but you don't care...right? And you were a good kid for what she heard from Alfred you sure understand
Alfred
It is a father and daughter relationship but you have a problem with trying to make people proud because you feel that if you don't they won't love you, and your family does nothing to help you try to overcome that though so you always cause the least problem and it was kinda weird for a ten year old that just wanted to help
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drvirgus · 5 months ago
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Mute!
Non-Idol! Hanni X Mute! Reader
Description: Life as a mute girl in university: How does Y/n navigate her life, especially when she has to work on a project with her crush, one of the popular kids on campus? Can Y/n find a way to express her feelings?
Warnings: Trauma; strong language; kys/kms jokes; insults; bad family 😔 (kind of abuse?)
Chapter: I´m so Dumb.... (Fully- Written)
Masterlist
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Hwang Yeji.
A name to be envied, pitied, and a name everyone knew all too well.
Hwang Yeji. A child who wanted everything.
Every bit of attention? She got it. Every toy? She got it. Everything she ever dreamed of? She got it.
Even at the age of three, when her older brother made a new friend in kindergarten, Yeji felt compelled to steal that friend away. She did everything to make it happen. She repeatedly bought him little gifts, chose him as her partner for games, and whined about it at home.
But once she had that friend, she played with him for a while before eventually discarding him.
That had always been Yeji's way of navigating through life. Over and over, she needed variety, whether or not it involved her brother.
Yeji never thought her heart would be broken.
She was always the one breaking others' hearts, regardless of whether they were male or female.
Yet somehow, someone managed to do it.
Hwang Yeji's heart was broken.
After what was, for Yeji, a long relationship of seven months, Choi Jisu succeeded in breaking Hwang Yeji's heart.
She accomplished what no one else had.
Hwang Yeji was hurt, shattered, and her anger and bitterness ran deep to her core. She wanted nothing more than to project her pain onto someone else.
If others suffered, Yeji would feel better.
And who would make a better target for that than Kim Y/n? A mute, manipulatable little girl? A girl who wanted nothing more than to be seen?
But it didn’t go quite as Yeji hoped.
Sure, she managed to hurt Kim Y/n’s heart... but it wasn’t broken.
Of course... how could you break a heart that was already shattered?
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Yeji wanted to cheer Y/n up, to piece her heart back together only to break it again, stomp on it, and claim Y/n for herself.
Yeji had developed an obsession.
But how could Y/n dare? Why didn’t she want anything to do with Yeji? How did she even allow herself to go out with someone other than Yeji?
But Yeji owned Y/n. She was Yeji’s and Yeji’s alone.
How could she manage to reclaim Y/n?
Rescue her.
Money was never an issue for Yeji. Luckily, Yeji was her father's favorite child. Especially since her brother came out as gay.
It wasn’t particularly difficult to find Y/n’s partner on the trip. Paying him off was even easier.
Yeji reveled in the sight.
Y/n all alone by that tree, with the rain pouring down mercilessly, looking utterly exhausted. Simply helpless.
Yeji’s heart skipped a beat as she held her umbrella over Y/n and looked down at her. Those sad eyes looked up at Yeji.
Yeji didn’t want to feel anything.
She just wanted to break Y/n to forget her own heartbreak.
But... ever since she had known Y/n, she hadn’t thought about Choi Jisu even once. Her head was full of Y/n...
This wasn’t love, she knew that.
Or was it?
Yeji bit the inside of her cheek when she saw how Y/n looked a bit disappointed upon seeing her. Yeji knew exactly who Y/n was hoping for. Y/n was waiting and hoping for Pham Hanni. Pham Hanni was supposed to save her.
Yeji didn’t like that one bit.
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Yeji was slowly going crazy.
She wanted Y/n all to herself. So why didn’t Y/n want her? Yeji had everything anyone could ever dream of.
She was rich, beautiful, muscular, tall, and most of all, she was good in bed. So why didn’t Y/n want her?!
Every time Y/n texted her, a glimmer of hope would light up.
Y/n belonged to Yeji.
But that hadn’t been true for a long time...
Y/n now belonged to Hanni...
Yeji couldn’t accept that. Not now and probably not ever.
Yeji didn’t know exactly what she felt for Y/n. Was it possessiveness? Obsession? Did she just want to ruin Y/n? Or... was it really love?
None of that mattered at the moment.
Y/n had left Hanni to come to Yeji.
Just like she should...
“There you are,” Yeji said with a broad smile as she looked down at the slightly shorter girl. Yeji could feel her heart skip another beat. One hand on the door handle, she opened the door wider for Y/n.
Y/n exhaled and stepped inside. Her face showed a mix of annoyance and concern. Almost immediately, she held up her phone so Yeji could read the words on the screen: “What’s the emergency?”
Yeji had to fight hard not to let a grin form on her lips. Her eyes took on a slightly sadder look. Y/n really wanted nothing to do with Yeji, did she?
And yet...
Why else would she come to her late at night?
Yeji pulled Y/n into her arms. She closed her eyes as she deeply inhaled the scent of the younger girl. “I just wanted to see you. That was the emergency,” Yeji confessed quietly. She could feel Y/n trying to push her away, but Yeji didn’t allow it. She kept Y/n tightly in her arms without looking at her.
“I know exactly what you feel for me, Y/n,” Yeji whispered as her hands slowly slid down Y/n’s back. “I know Hanni doesn’t touch you. Doesn’t satisfy you,” Yeji murmured, her lips close to Y/n’s ear.
An amused snort escaped her nose as she felt Y/n shudder. Unaware that Y/n, for the first time since knowing Yeji, felt a sense of disgust.
Hwang Yeji was just disgusting.
“Remember?” Yeji asked quietly as she finally looked at Y/n’s face. She immediately froze when she saw the slightly disgusted expression on her ex-girlfriend’s face. Yeji’s mouth opened.
She recognized that face.
That’s exactly how Choi Jisu had looked at her....
Yeji felt the bitterness and anger she had kept inside for years erupting. Her eyes narrowed as she watched Y/n slap her hands away and then quickly tap on her phone, “You’re just disgusting.”
Yeji hissed, “Oh, come on. Don’t be so prudish! You belong to me and me alone, understand?! Not Hanni and not anyone else! You’re mine!” Yeji said, visibly angry. Her jaw was tense.
Y/n shook her head. Y/n was disappointed. Disappointed in Yeji but mostly disappointed in herself. Why had she allowed Hwang Yeji to enter her life? Especially after she had already hurt Y/n once before?
Kim Y/n... was just plain stupid.
Yeji hissed as she saw Y/n open the chat with her girlfriend Hanni. A fuse burned through, and suddenly she grabbed Y/n’s phone, holding it out of reach as Y/n, mouth open, tried to retrieve her smartphone.
Yeji laughed mockingly. Her eyes were still narrow and full of rage. “You’re pathetic,” Yeji simply said as she shook her head. Her grip on the phone tightened before she threw it to the floor. Her face was furious. “You’re mine! Only mine! Just mine!”
Stunned, Y/n looked first at her shattered phone and then at Yeji. “No,” Y/n said, making Yeji’s eyes widen.
This was the first time Yeji had ever heard a word from Y/n.
Yeji suddenly smiled broadly and grabbed Y/n’s arms. “Y-You can talk?!” she asked, visibly surprised.
It was almost as if Hwang Yeji... was insane.
“Y-You can talk,” Yeji said again, a bit happier, as she pulled Y/n into her arms and held her tightly. “God... I love you so much.”
But no matter how many times Y/n wanted to hear those words, it was the wrong person speaking them. The smaller girl swallowed and, with a firm and strong push, shoved Yeji away from her. Her eyes were wide as she spoke with her hands.
“You’re crazy.”
Yeji didn’t understand. She didn’t understand what Y/n was signing. She didn’t understand why she was happy that Y/n spoke. She didn’t understand why Y/n didn’t want her.
She just didn’t understand why Y/n was leaving her...
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Kim Y/n was just plain stupid...
Why on earth did she go to Yeji? Why did she ruin the beautiful evening with Hanni? Why did she ever think Yeji could be a good person?
She didn’t know.
Kim Y/n wasn’t someone who cried. She never cried...
She didn’t cry when her grandmother died, she didn’t cry when she got lost in the woods, she didn’t cry when she became mute.
But now she cried...
It felt like all the sorrow and frustration that had built up in her over the years was finally being released. Her tears seemed endless.
She didn’t deserve Hanni...
Y/n didn’t deserve love...
Even when an older woman approached Y/n and spoke to her, her tears wouldn’t stop. She cried. Loudly.
Fortunately, she knew Hanni’s number by heart. It was the only number she knew by heart...
She would lie awake at night, staring at Hanni’s number, hoping that Hanni would text her. Over and over, she stared at Hanni’s number until the digits burned into her brain.
Y/n texted Hanni. Her vision was blurred by her tears, but she managed to write to her girlfriend. The only number Y/n could ever remember...
It didn’t take long for her to see Hanni. Y/n’s tears kept flowing. Her ears rang, and headaches plagued her.
In the car.
At Hanni’s house.
No matter where she was, Y/n kept crying.
Over and over, she gestured with her hands.
“I don’t deserve you. I’m sorry.”
Unaware that Hanni understood everything.
Hanni looked concerned, hurt, but most of all, compassionate. She wasn’t angry. Not a single bit. Her hands gripped Y/n’s waist, “What happened?” Hanni asked softly as she cupped Y/n’s face, wiping the tears away.
It was the first time Hanni had ever seen Y/n cry.
The first time Y/n cried at all.
It didn’t take long for Y/n, now somewhat angry at herself, to explain in sign language what had happened. Hanni remained silent. She just watched Y/n. Hanni’s jaw tightened. Her hands balled into fists as her nostrils flared.
Pham Hanni wasn’t the type to get angry. But right at that moment, she wanted nothing more than to scream in rage. She wanted nothing more than to punch Yeji in the face.
Y/n belonged to no one!
Y/n wasn’t an object that could be owned...
Hanni smiled gently when she saw the tears in Y/n’s eyes. “I love you,” she said, and suddenly Y/n froze. Her eyes widened, and her mouth opened slightly as she looked at her girlfriend.
“I don’t deserve you.”
Hanni smiled as she gently shook her head, “I don’t care.”
Y/n’s brow furrowed, “You... understand me?”
Hanni smiled wider as she nodded, “I understand you, Y/n. I love you,” Hanni said as she took a small step toward the mute girl. A smile on Hanni’s face. Her eyes scanned Y/n’s entire face.
“We should break up.”
Hanni laughed as she took Y/n’s hands in hers to stop her from talking about breaking up. Y/n’s mouth opened as she looked into Hanni’s eyes. Y/n’s eyes still filled with tears.
“I love you, Y/n.”
Y/n’s lip quivered.
Those were the words she wanted to hear. The words she needed.
From the right person: Pham Hanni.
"I love you too, Hanni," Y/n whispered softly as she sniffled.
Hanni smiled as she pulled Y/n into her arms, holding her tightly. This was where Y/n belonged. Not with Yeji, but with Hanni. The woman Y/n loved and the woman who loved Y/n back.
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Taglist: @sixflame438 @saysirhc @itzzyyyyyyydaaaa @somedaydream @wonyoungssi @gtfoiydlyj
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daisynik7 · 1 year ago
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Give You Blue
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Epilogue
You are my universe, my everything, my sunset. You still give me butterflies, my lullaby. You are everything I wanted.
Pairing: Eren x f!reader
Word Count: ~2.6k
cw: switching POVs (reader is second-person, Eren is third), fluff, established relationship, smut – PIV sex (cowgirl position), cunnilingus, face-riding, spit play, pet names (sweetie, honey, sweetheart, princess, good girl, baby) 
Previous Chapter
Give You Blue Masterlist | ao3
Author’s Note: Just an excuse to write a little bonus chapter about these two! Fluffy, adorable, and happily in love! Also a little smut added to the mix. Thank you everyone for reading this story all the way through the end! Love and appreciate every single one of you. What a journey this has been. Likes, comments, and/or reblogs are appreciated, as always.
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It’s 11:45 PM, New Year’s Eve, fifteen minutes before the start of the new year. You leave your family gathered downstairs to head up to your room, shutting the door quietly, tapping your boyfriend’s contact on your phone screen. 
Eren answers after two rings. “Hey, cutie. Hold on.” There’s shuffling, like you’ve been temporarily put in his pocket. In the background, you hear him announce, “Mom, I’m pretty tired. Going to bed now.”
“But you’ll miss midnight!” she responds. 
You hear his dad chime in. “Let him, honey. He can make his own decisions.” There’s a hint of bitterness in his tone that even you can detect on the other end of the line.
Your boyfriend lets out a nervous chuckle, muttering a quick, “Happy New Year.” There’s more rustling, then sounds of steps going up stairs, ending with a gentle thud of a door closing. “Sweetie? You still there?” he asks, finally alone. 
“Yeah, I’m here.” You smile into the phone, sitting at the edge of the bed. “Hi.”
“Hi,” he greets back. “It’s so nice hearing your voice.”
“I feel the same way,” you reply, falling back into the mattress, gazing up at the ceiling. “How was tonight?”
“Oh, you know, the usual: My mom cooked too much food for three people and my dad has been sneaking little jabs at me. Nothing new.”
Eren officially changed his major before the end of the semester from pre-med to education, a huge weight lifted off his shoulders while a tinier one replaces it, aka his father’s overall disapproval. Dr. Jaeger stood by his word, threatening that he would no longer support his son financially once he made the switch, to which Eren has been preparing for. He has two new on-campus jobs lined up for him at the start of the new semester, along with the weekly music session at the elementary school Erwin Smith’s dad works at. The first week of winter break, he was ready to apply for a few loans to help him throughout the rest of his term. Then, to his shock, his father approached him, informing him that he will actually continue to pay for his education, on the condition that he graduates with outstanding grades and a job guaranteed. Eren’s sure it was his mother who was behind the change in heart, to which he’ll forever be grateful for. Unfortunately, this hasn’t stopped his father from making snide remarks here and there. 
You sympathize with him, saying, “I’m sorry.”
His charming grin is audible through the phone. “Don’t be. I can handle it.”
“Where’s Mikasa? And your brother?” 
“Mikasa left this morning to spend the rest of break with Jean. And Zeke had to head back to prepare for some conference, so he’s actually in your neck of the woods right now,” he answers, referring to your hometown and current location: Marley. He adds, “To be honest, I wish I was there too.”
You smile, kicking your feet, belly fluttering with butterflies. “We’ll see each other in a week. Do you really miss me that much?” you tease.
“More than anything.” 
Swallowing hard, sentimental words dancing on the tip of your tongue (I miss you too, I think about you every day), you remain silent, too shy to get them out. Instead, he continues speaking, changing the subject to talk about what his mom prepared and the new year traditions behind them. She decided to do a spread of German foods this time around: pork sausages for good luck, sauerkraut for more money, and lentil soup for even better luck. He tells you about his childhood, popping open apple cider to tip into everyone’s glasses, watching the fireworks light up the sky from a distance, igniting sparklers outside with Armin, Mikasa, and the other neighborhood kids on the street. You listen to him intently, imagining a young Eren with that same signature bright smile he dons as an adult; warm, genuine, full of light. It’s no wonder you fell for him, especially in a time of your life where you were shrouded in darkness from the fallout of your heartbreak, unsure when you’d ever see sunshine again. 
I love you. Every time you think it, you double back, convincing yourself that it’s too soon, too much in such a short amount of time. After all, it’s only been a little over a month since the two of you officially became a couple. Wouldn’t it be crazy to express such a weighted confession? 
When there’s a small pause in the conversation, finished with his stories, you start, “Eren,” ready to admit it. 
“Oh, it’s already 11:59!” he interjects, excited. “How many seconds do we have left?”
You turn on the TV, switching to a local channel that’s displaying a countdown. “Ah, ten seconds!” You watch the clock, listening to Eren announce the numbers in your ear. At three, you join in. “3…2…1…Happy New Year!”
Downstairs, you hear your family cheering, clinking flutes of champagne or cider with each other. The sound of fireworks bursting can be heard faintly through your window. On the opposite end of the line, Eren says, “Happy New Year, beautiful. Wish I could kiss you right now.”
You smile. “Me too.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to join your family downstairs?” he asks.
“Positive. I want to start the new year with you.”
He laughs softly. “Me too. And you know what? For the first time in a long time, I’m actually excited about the new year. I used to dread going back, always so anxious about my new classes. All the tests and projects I had to work on during the semester. Even interacting with my classmates because it was always so competitive. Now, my new curriculum sounds interesting, and I feel good about my cohort. I just know this year is going to be a great one.” He pauses, choosing his next statement carefully. “I’m also looking forward to us. We’ve got all the time in the world now. I can’t wait to create so many more memories with you.”
Your heart beats faster, taken back by his sincerity. You decide not to confess to him tonight, not because you’re unsure, but because you mean it more. Those three words don’t seem enough to express that to him. Not yet at least. There’s no pressure to rush into anything; as he said, you’ve got all the time in the world. 
~~~
Spring semester of sophomore year starts off smoothly, especially for Eren. This is the only time during his collegiate career that he’s felt at ease. While he’s equally as diligent as he was before, he enjoys the material he’s learning, rather than stressing each passing day like he once was. Having his supportive girlfriend by his side is also a huge help, maybe the biggest of them all. He’s never been happier. 
Technically, it’s forbidden for RAs to date their residents. However, that hasn’t stopped them, often sneaking into his room to do what couples usually do. Quite frankly, neither are worried about hiding it, considering the rest of the dormitory residents are well aware of the relationship and unfazed by it. Still, whenever one of Eren’s managers visits, he’s extra diligent in keeping that information private. 
As for her situation with her ex, she has completely moved on, and seemingly so has he. Occasionally, she’ll spot Reiner walking around campus with his fraternity brothers or classmates. She and him will exchange a cordial head nod, polite wave, sometimes a reminiscent smile, but nothing more. Acknowledging each other’s presence, understanding there’s no more left to their story. A fleeting moment of reminiscence about their past life together, gone as soon as it appears. During these times, Reiner will flash a serious glance at Eren. It’s not threatening or malicious, more like a cautionary warning. He can’t blame the guy; after all, Reiner was her first love, and vice versa. Despite their relationship coming to an end, deep down, they must care for each other to some degree. Even as the new boyfriend, he can understand that, so he remains unbothered by it.
Despite his father agreeing to continue the payment of his tuition, Eren decided to work at least one part-time job this semester to supplement date nights or gifts for his girlfriend. His job is being the front desk of the school library, helping students locate resources or manage the study rooms. For the most part, his schedule is manageable. However, when the week of midterms arrives, it gets a little more complicated. The facility remains open twenty-four hours on weeks like this so students have a place to study at all times. Driven by the increased pay during the night shifts, Eren offers to work them without thinking how it’ll affect his daily routine. It’s only after the first night that he realizes he won’t be able to see his girlfriend until the week is over. With her being just as busy with group projects, there isn’t a time they have free to see each other. So, they settle for voicemails and text message spanning the next few days, which in Eren’s mind, pass by like weeks, maybe months. He misses her. 
Finally, Friday comes, and exams are over. After his last class, he heads straight for his room, knocking out for a long nap. He wakes up to gentle tapping on his door. When he answers, he’s thrilled to see her, smiling brightly at him. “Hi.”
Before he can respond with words, he launches forward, wrapping her in his arms. “I’m so happy to see you.” He buries his nose to the top of her head, inhaling that familiar scent he’s been yearning for all week long. “I missed you so much.”
She laughs, music to his ears, warming his entire soul. “I missed you too.”
He pulls her into his room, pushing the door closed by pressing her up against it with a kiss. They stay like this for a while, his hands caressing her cheeks, her fingers hooked to the waistband of his sweats, tugging ever-so-slightly towards her. They kiss each other, languid, soft, and effortless, like this is exactly where they’re meant to be. He’s been deprived too long without her. He won’t waste another second. 
She pulls away, leaning back to look at him. “Are you hungry? Do you want to get dinner now?”
He smirks, mouth grazing her ear. “I am hungry, but for something else.” One hand trails down to her hip, squeezing. “I’ve been starving for you all week. Dessert first, then dinner.”
She giggles, nipping at his lower lip. “Are we calling this dessert now?” 
“Yup,” he grins. “Because it’s going to be so, so sweet.”
~~~
Within minutes, your clothes are tossed to the floor, stripped and bare in his bed, sheets twisted beneath as your lips smack noisily with each other. “Can I taste you now? Please?” Eren asks.  
You nod, rolling onto your back, spreading your legs for him. He shakes his head, hoisting you over him. “Not like that. I want you to ride my face.”
“What?” you stammer, surprised at the suggestion. 
“Ride my face,” he repeats. 
“Are you sure?” 
“Absolutely sure. I want it so bad, baby.” The way his voice sounds needy and desperate has your pussy throbbing. Carefully, you straddle him, lowering yourself slowly. His hands slide around your thighs, gripping you. “Come on. Smother me, sweetie.” More aggressively, he shoves you to his face, tongue already out and licking at your clit. You grasp onto the headboard, rolling your hips onto his mouth, head thrown back in pleasure. His moans are muffled, vibrating into your skin with his lips puckered to your bud, sucking. 
Soon, you’re coming for him, slick gushing from your slit. He drinks it up, slurping it noisily, his hips thrusting into nothing, cock stiff against his abdomen. “Fuck, you taste so good. Think you can ride my cock now, princess?”
Still reeling from your orgasm, you whimper in response, readjusting yourself so you’re on his lap, sliding your slippery cunt along his erect shaft. He rests his head on his palms, elbows splayed, watching you. “That’s it, baby. Get it nice and creamy with your cum. You’re doing such a good job.”
The praise spurs you on, rubbing yourself on his dick until you’re ready for him, tingling all over. You sink down, cock sliding in smoothly until he bottoms out, your pussy entirely full of him. He plants his feet to the bed, thrusting into you gradually. “I know you already came, but can you give me one more, sweetie? Just one more?” It sounds like he wants to add a pretty please to the end of it, nodding his head affirmatively, looking up at you with innocent eyes while he fucks you relentlessly.
You let out a pathetic whimper, nodding along with him, totally captivated. He smiles so sweetly, the tinge of wickedness in his eyes almost goes unnoticed. Almost. Your boyfriend can be a real menace sometimes, acting tender as he man-handles you like his own personal sex doll. His grip on your hips tightens, his fingers digging into your flesh. He’s breathing heavily, exerting all the energy left in his being to give you the best fuck of your life. You bounce on his lap until your legs are spent, yielding all control to him. One hand travels up your spine and lands at the nape of your neck, caressing you, pulling you in for a sloppy kiss. His tongue swirls into your mouth, pushing his thick saliva past your lips. He halts his brutal thrusts, hard cock all the way inside you, pussy throbbing around it. 
“Open up, sweetie,” he says. You’re high off his cock, too dumbed out to think rationally, so you obey his command, sticking your tongue out. He bites his lip, studying you like you’re the prized treasure he’s about to collect. He tips your head towards him, leaning in close to spit a wad of his saliva in your mouth. “Swallow.” You do, guzzling every drop of it down your throat. 
“That’s it. Such a good girl,” he coos.
“Give me more,” you groan, sticking your tongue out. 
He grins, smooching your nose. “You like it, don’t you sweetheart?” 
You nod, eyes half-lidded as he does it again, his hot, frothy spit coating the inside of your mouth. Arms coiled around his neck, you clutch onto him tightly, electricity rippling from your core throughout the rest of your body as he pumps his cock in and out of you. 
“Eren,” you whimper, nuzzling his ear. Maybe it’s the heat of the moment, or the fact that you haven’t seen him all week and you missed him so much, you’re bursting at the seams. In a breathy huff, it slips out. “I love you.”
Suddenly, he pauses, stunned by your confession. He holds your face between his palms, staring at you with a serious expression. “What did you say?”
“I love you.”
His lips part, dumbfounded and in a daze, with his dick still hard inside you. It’s not what you imagined it would be like, but in this moment, you wanted to get it off your chest. It’s been simmering within you since New Year’s, and while it’s not the most luxurious of settings, it’s intimate and special, especially with the way his eyes twinkle. “You love me?” he reiterates, clearly in disbelief.
With more confidence, you reply, “I love you, Eren.” You nuzzle your nose to his, smiling. “I love you.”
He laughs, pressing his forehead to yours. “I love you, too. I’ve loved you this whole time.”
The two of you giggle into each other’s mouths as you kiss, Eren whispering “I love you” in between. You rock your hips onto his lap, making love slowly until eventually, you come together, skin hot and dewy with sweat, hearts thumping loudly against your chests. He cradles you in his arms, peppering more soft smooches around your face, intertwining his legs with yours. A perfect fit. 
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dalishious · 6 months ago
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Ramblings on "Eight Little Talons"
The Talons
One of the most interesting things about the Tevinter Nights story, “Eight Little Talons”, is how it portrays the relationship between all the different Talons.
The very first paragraph features Viago reflecting on how important decorum was, because he does not want to be shown up by the others. He then goes onto think about how unusual it is to have such a gathering of Talons, and that they will need to put aside their differences if they want to accomplish their goal of a united front against the Qunari invasion. The quote, “while all Talons were peers, the same could not be said about their resources and influence,” paints a picture of how even though they are all individually powerful, yes, there is still the ladder of supremacy based on First Talon to Eighth Talon. As such, they are all stuck playing a game against each other to keep or advance their positions on that ladder. Additionally, Dante refers to a competition that exists between the north and south of Antiva.
This is, ultimately, their downfall. It’s what Emil claims motivated him to take them out. He admires the noble origins of the Antivan Crows, and dislikes what they’ve become. He tells Teia, “Now, it’s all about family. Blood. Instead of a claw working as one, we fight over scraps. Eventually, we’ll all starve.” And in the end, he says, “It’s always money with all of us. That’s the problem. In the beginning, we were protectors. We fought for Antiva—for the people. Then somewhere along the way we chose profit over patriotism.”
Viago de Riva
I love how Viago proficiency with poison is both a blessing and a curse for him. On one hand, it makes him very good at his job. But on the other, he is profoundly paranoid about being poisoned himself. He has memorized how different ingredients react and can be hidden in different foods, and refuses to consume anything handed to him without either testing it first or preparing antidotes. He dresses to show the least amount of skin possible, and is anxious over any form of contact with another person. He takes a daily micro-dose of Adder’s Kiss to develop an immunity to it.
Another interesting thing about Viago, is how bitter he is about being a bastard son of the Antivan King. When Teia wonders about his past, she knows better than to actually ask him any questions. Viago was only given two choices in life because of the circumstances of his birth: either live in luxurious exile, or join the Crows. He resents all his half-siblings who chose the first, and he resents the king himself. Viago may be more powerful than them all, even the king, but he is now stuck in this life. Had he not been, he thinks he could been a better ruler of Antiva.
While Viago is certainly skilled – he firmly believes he could kill every Talon at the summit if he wanted to - it’s easy to infer that it was nepotism that earned his rank, or at least that’s the reputation he has, based on the comment from Dante: “Your daddy will protect you”.
Viago sees himself as a recluse. Teia says his reputation is that of a curmudgeon, and in her defence, he himself says he doesn’t care about being liked, he just wants to be respected and feared. I think the fact that he was raised in a “gilded cage” with a mother whom he remembers only for her wine-stained teeth had a lot of influence on this. He’s been alone all his life.
Andarateia “Teia” Cantori
Just like Viago, Teia has an unconventional speciality as well. While Viago observes that she weaponized her beauty, I would propose that Teia’s real mastery is manipulation. Using her beauty is certainly part of that, but in examining the way she responds to each and every character differently shows that she is playing a far subtler game. She shoehorns Viago into riding with her in a gondola, so that the others will gossip about how their houses must be in an alliance – the goal being to give them more power in the discussions. She calls Caterina “Nonna”, which Caterina points out that not even her actual grandchildren do, as a way of disarming the First Talon. And when she interrogates Dante, yes the serum he’s under helps, but it’s her cunning persuasiveness that does the leg work.
Viago remarks that at twenty-eight years old, Teia is the youngest Talon in history. Perhaps this is a contributing factor to why she has a different perspective than the others, when it comes to her dislike of “the bottom line” – the obsession with making coin for their kills. She also has her own set of rules the others do not follow; for example, she refuses to kill servants unless absolutely necessary. And she displays the ability to sympathize with people in a way that the other Talons do not. So you could call it naivety, sure. But I believe it’s more to do with just the type of person she is. We know from Zevran how the Crows work hard to burn out everything except murder in their recruits, but the fact that Teia holds onto her compassion speaks of how strong it is.
It’s also worth mentioning that Teia had to accomplish a hell of a lot to get where she is. “An elf born in an alley with no family or connections, Teia and her rise to power had caused quite the controversy. The Antivan Crows always told new recruits that anyone could become a Talon, but it rarely happened.” She tells Viago that she does not let where she comes from define her, nor is she ashamed of who she is. I love that. I love how unapologetic Teia is about herself.
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