#she's afraid of Dooku casting her away for Obi-Wan

[beezelbubbles]

It was after Satine died. At that moment, holding her body, he realized how much he had given up and how far away the Light was. How many clones he had ordered to their deaths. How he had trained up Anakin just to throw him into war. How young Ahsoka is as she follows in their footsteps.

He had a brother, once.

He thinks of Qui-Gon. He thinks of his first meeting with his master's master, after the funeral. Maybe Dooku had it right. Maybe if Qui-Gon had followed more closely in his footsteps he would be here. Maybe this war wouldn't have come to Mandalor.

He lays Satine to her final rest and walks into the Dark.

SITH! OBI-WAN & ANAKIN SKYWALKER | WHAT IF? STAR WARS BY ME. I always liked the idea of Obi-Wan corrupted by the dark side, so i made this. Star Wars really needs a what if show.

[nevertheless-moving]

Suicidal Misunderstanding XXI

Part I - - - - - - - - Part XVIII - - - - Part XIX - - - - Part XX

Star Wars Time Travel AU #27

“This is Master Kit Fisto, requesting permission to land.”

“Hold on one moment please, General Fisto.”

A crackling sound filled the air while Ahsoka bounced her leg anxiously up and down in the copilot’s seat.

“I’ve been told to redirect your shuttlecraft to auxiliary seven. Sending coordinates now.”

“Aux Seven?” Kit frowned at the comm. “Are you certain? That’s a deployment pad.”

“Affirmative, High Council Orders. You and Commander Tano are to land on aux seven. Have you received the coordinates?”

“Yes, yes- I know where I’m going. Thank you. Over.”

“Over.”

Ahsoka shot the Nautolan Master an anxious look.

“Maybe they realized Obi-Wan’s injuries were actually an attack and they’re redeploying me and Skyguy to go after the jerk responsible?” the Padawan asked hopefully.

Master Fisto grimaced. “I would hope they’re not sending you out into the field so soon but I suppose the Ghost Nebula crisis has been escalating. Ahsoka...if they are assigning you a mission and you’d rather stay at the temple-”

“I should be with Master Skywalker and the 501st,” Ahsoka said resolutely. “I shouldn’t have left them in the first place. Skyguy said I could help the war and see Lee Char and I just-” Ahsoka cut herself off with a slight snarl.

Kit sighed. “You’re a remarkable padawan and commander. I simply wanted to let you know I’m happy to support you if you wish to rest.”

The young tortugan bounced her leg a little more. “Thank you Master Fisto, but I’m fine.”

They spent the rest of the short flight in silence. When they finally reached the landing pad, they were met by a small contingent from the 501st, as well as Master Windu himself, who greeted them with a short bow and a placid expression.

“Master Fisto, Padawan Tano, I trust your flight went smoothly?”

“Yes, Master Windu,” Kit and Ahsoka said in unison.

“Padawan Tano- is there any thing I should be aware of that would prevent you from shipping off with the 501st? I regret that you won’t have time at the temple but...situations are escalating rapidly and it’s been agreed that the best place for you is onboard the Dauntless.”

Ahsoka straightened her spine. “I’m ready for my next mission Master Windu.”

“Sir-” Captain Rex interjected, “Does this mean that General Skywalker isn’t stepping down from command anymore? Surely you’re not shipping Ahsoka off alone?”

A muscle throbbed in Master Windu’s forehead. “General Skywalker’s status is classified.”

Captain Rex opened his mouth.

“As is General Kenobi’s. You will simply have to trust in the High Council’s decision. Padawan, follow the Captain to his transport shuttle. Master Fisto, you’re with me.”

Ahsoka started to move in a daze but Kit stopped her with a gentle hand to her shoulder.

“Mace- surely you can tell young Tano more than that before sending her out- she’s already partially informed regarding the situation with Master Kenobi. I realize time is of the essence but a Padawan’s place is with their Master, correct?”

The troops shifted and Captain Rex openly scrutinized General Windu. The Jedi looked calm. Too calm. He was hiding something. Obviously. 

“I’m afraid it’s all classified, including what you’ve already been told. All I can tell you right now is... to trust in your General.”

Rex, already close to his breaking point, snapped at Windu. “Are you talking about Krell?! That demagolka is-”

“Watch your language, Captain.”

“Yes, sir.”

Master Fisto frowned heavily “Mace, I’m not comfortable with this. As a fellow council member, I ask we delay sending Ahsoka until we’ve had a chance to discuss things further- I’m happy to fly her to a rendezvous with the 501st if that’s what we decide.”

Windu shook his head firmly. “I’m afraid that time of the essence and the matter isn’t open to discussion. You have your assignments. Padawan Tano will be technically placed under Master Krell’s watch, though I’m explicitly assigning her to focus on her duties with the 501st. Padawan, you’re to focus on your military responsibilities with Captain Rex, not training with Krell; he’s received a copy of my orders in the regard. Everyone needs to trust that the council has- a bigger picture than any one campaign, or any one person.”

A hint of frustration crept in Master WIndu’s tone and Ahsoka swallowed down her bitter thoughts.

“Yes, Sir,” she said, saluting the Master of the Order with military precision. Rex snapped off a salute as well, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder before guiding her away.

“Mace, what the-”

“Not here.”

“I’m not-”

“Not. Here.”

Master Fisto cast one last look at the retreating 501st before chasing after the Human Jedi Master, the force too turbulent to tell him if it was the right decision.

To Kit’s continuing dismay, he was led not inside the temple, but to a nearby speeder. Mace was dead silent for the short walk, gesturing silently to enter. Kit’s lips tightened but he climbed in, a temple guard starting to fly the moment the doors shut.

“Mace-”

“Read this,” Master Windu said brusquely, pushing a datapad into the Nautolan Master’s hands.

Master Fisto scanned the screen, large eyes growing wider the longer he read. 

“No!” Kit gasped, floundering in the force for reassurance, but Mace’s shields were like durasteel. Kit softened slightly.

“Master Kenobi...you really don’t know where he is?” 

Mace stared out the window.

“Keep reading,” he said hollowly.

“...You think he might attempt to assassinate Dooku? AND the Chancellor? By himself?”

“He was...disconnected from reality at points,” Mace said carefully. “He was aware of that fact, but seemed to blame the Sith and the Politicians for the war. His...trust in the Order is severely shaken.”

Kit continued to scroll through the pad, pausing and reeling in horror. “He stabbed Skywalker?!”

Mace nodded tersely. “And now Skywalker’s AWOL as well. He handled Obi-Wan’s initial...breakdown as well as can be expected, given the circumstances, but his continued shocking behavior after waking up...Skywalker was already severely shaken before Kenobi got to the worst of his ramblings.”

“Force,” Kit said heavily, rubbing his forehead.

“I know I wasn’t fair to Padawan Tano, but the council felt the need to get her off planet and away from specifically dangerous elements.”

Master Fisto groaned, leaning back. “I can’t believe the expansion region is considered a safer option than the temple.”

Kit looked out the window. “Mace...why are we heading to the Senate Rotunda?” 

Windu seemed, impossibly, to tense up even further. “I need you to brief the Chancellor on Kenobi.”

Kit’s head whipped around, tentacles flailing behind. “I just landed on planet,” he responded in disbelief. “Wouldn’t it be better for someone was actually there to do that?”

“I can’t,” Mace said, a hint of anguish breaking through his shields and voice, before his jaw clenched shut.

Kit drew back, alarmed by the falter in stoicism.

Master Windu’s collected himself with a shaky breath. “I have to ready the 187th; with Kenobi and Skywalker out of the picture we need every General on the front lines now. I’m sure the Chancellor will agree, once you brief him on how dire the situation is.”

There was a short pause as the two collected their thoughts.

“...The last few days have been hell, haven’t they?” Kit asked quietly.

The Harrun Kal Jedi chuckled darkly at that. “They’re nothing compared to the shit-show that’s about to unfold.” 

Master Fisto bent over, dropping his face to his hands. 

Windu steeled himself before continuing on. “I need you to organize the Chancellor’s defense. Try to stress to him that he should be guarded by a Jedi at all times- tell him- tell him whatever you have to about Kenobi, so far he only knows that he was ill, but you’re authorized to give more details than I previously disclosed- his medical file is attached. Tell him our worst suspicions if need be. The fact that you’ve been off-world...makes you...above suspicion in some respects. I’m...sorry Kit. I know I’m throwing you in without proper support but...it’s the best I can do. You’re going to have to explain to the Chancellor how stretched thin we are.”

The Nautolan smiled weakly. “You don’t have to apologize, Mace, you’re the one heading to the front.”

Mace didn’t reply.

The speeder arrived at the Senate Entrance.

Kit steadied himself, grabbing the datapad and holding it like a shield as he marched inside. The speeder peeled away, heading back to the temple. Master Gallia pulled off the temple guard mask, frowning even as she navigated back the way they came.

“I don’t like this plan,” she protested again.

“Neither do I,” Mace agreed. “Do you have a better one?”

“We don’t know that Sidious’s mental abilities are that strong,” she said desperately.

“We don’t,” Mace agreed again. “All we know is that he’s subtle enough to conceal himself from us for over a decade while gradually steering us towards destruction, and also powerful enough to defeat us all in combat.”

Adi Gallia took a long meditative breath, desperately seeking calm as the force roiled, massive waves of upheaval rippling across the galaxy.

XXII

[passable-talent]

okok so imagine growing up/ training with Anakin as kids in the Jedi temple?? and when he turns to the dark side, you join him and rule by his side???? I- asdfghjjfksa

how did u know that I’m a slut for this kinda shit

i’m not even 100% sure this was meant as a request but anon, you’re in luck, BECAUSE YOU’RE GETTING AN ENTIRE FUCKING FIC OUT OF THAT SHIT

make an entire 70 song playlist just to write this? yes. yes i did. 

As a Jedi Knight, you had been assigned to protect Padme Amidala. Such an assignment had been decided by the chancellor himself- he did so adore Padme, and could not stand the thought of her coming to harm. 

Darth Sidious, you see, had assumed that Anakin Skywalker cared for her deeply, and so needed her alive, for his plan concerning Anakin to come to fruition. He made a single, harmless mistake, one that had managed not at all to affect his plan. 

All that time that Anakin spent with Padme was indeed because he cared for her. She was his best friend- and it was you that he had married in secret some years ago. He did care deeply for Padme Amidala, but not in the same way he felt for his oldest friend in the Jedi Order, besides Obi-Wan. The one he’d grown up with, trained with. 

She was your best friend, and his. The three of you were an unstoppable trio (people notice when three of incredible beauty and power like the three of you enter a room), and you trusted each other with everything. She knew and helped hide your relationship with him, she was the only human at your wedding. 

And when the Republic was remade into the Empire, you sat in her apartment in Coruscant, her loyal bodyguard and best friend. As you always did when you had much to consider, you rolled a ring around your finger. Anakin had given it to you at your wedding. It wasn’t a wedding band, just a simple ring, one that wasn’t too far out of place for a Jedi to wear. But it was your wedding ring, all the same.

Obi-Wan knew that if anyone would know where Anakin was, it was one of the two of you. And he knew that you’d be together. 

“When was the last time you saw him?”

“Yesterday,” you answered, as you often did for the senator. It helped give her that aire of superiority that served her well. 

“And do you know where he is now?” He pressed, and you looked to Padme. She shook her head. 

“No,” you answered for her again, leaning still against one of the columns of her apartment. You knew she was safe with Obi-Wan, and your guard was as low as it had been in weeks. 

“I need your help,” Obi-Wan said, to the both of you. “He is in grave danger.” You stood up straight, surprised. 

“From the Sith?” You asked. 

“No,” Obi-Wan said, “from himself.” You approached Obi-Wan slowly, until you stood side by side with Padme. “I’m afraid...” Obi-Wan looked to the side, full of sorrow. “Anakin has turned to the Dark Side.” 

It felt as though a hole opened up in the floor beneath you, and you could do nothing but fall. 

“You’re wrong,” Padme said, conviction in her voice, “How could you even say that?”

You turned your face to the side, eyes cast to the floor, and murmured only a single ‘no’.

Obi-Wan pushed between the two of you, still pain in his voice, and you didn’t know how this could get any worse. 

“I-I have seen a security hologram,” he stuttered, voice soft, and you turned toward him. “Of him...” he trailed away as his footsteps stopped, and he brought his hand to his mouth. “Killing younglings.” 

“Not Anakin,” Padme said, “he couldn’t!”

“It can’t be true,” you murmured, shutting your eyes briefly against it all, as though you could block it away. Your thumb went to the ring on your fourth finger, just to feel the metal, and to remember who it represented. 

“He was deceived by a lie, we all were.” Obi-Wan turned, and now his face was hard. “It appears the chancellor is behind everything, including the war.” 

“The Emperor,” you corrected, anger coiling between your ribs, and now you had someone to blame. The same man who had shown so much kindness to you, and your two best friends. And he’d done this. 

“Palpatine is the Sith Lord we’ve been looking for,” Obi-Wan told you both, and you flicked your eyes for just a moment to Padme- she looked surprised, and hurt. As were you all. “After the death of Count Dooku, Anakin became his new apprentice.” She paused, taking it all in, and in her strife took a seat on the nearby couch. 

“Anakin isn’t a Sith,” you said, under your breath, wishing you could convince yourself of it. 

“I must find him,” Obi-Wan said, and your gaze snapped to him. 

“And kill him?" You accused, “He’s been deceived, just like the rest of us. You said it yourself!” 

“He has become a very great threat,” Obi-Wan insisted, and you shook your head, taking a step in his direction. 

“And he can be lead back to the light!” You said, astounded that Obi-Wan could even consider harming him. “Obi-Wan, don’t you see? If you turn on him, it’ll only push him further toward the dark! You, Obi-Wan Kenobi, his master!” You noticed the briefest expression of guilt cross Obi-Wan’s face, and you thought you might convince him to reconsider. 

His eyes flicked downward to the ring, and his resolve hardened, and he stepped back toward the balcony, and his ship. He paused, just outside the walls of the apartment. 

“(Y/N),” he said, and you lifted your chin toward him. “You’ve married him, haven’t you?” 

You kept his gaze, and did not deny it. 

“I’m so sorry,” he said, turning from you and boarding his ship. 

“Remember what I said, Obi-Wan,” you said, and the conviction in your voice was almost a threat, “If you find him. If he thinks you’ve turned on him, we’ll never get him back.” Obi-Wan nodded, slightly, and left the balcony. 

You turned back to Padme with sadness in your eyes. 

“You know where he is, don’t you?” She asked, and you reached with your right hand to fiddle with the ring on your left. 

“Of course I do,” you admitted, and she walked to you. 

“Let me come with.”

“Padme, love,” you said, “if what Obi-Wan said is true, and he has turned to the dark, I want to keep you as far away as possible. I’ll send Captain Typho down, he’ll watch over you while I’m gone.” Padme nodded, pulling you into a hug. 

“Take my ship,” she said, “so he’ll know it’s you.” 

“Thank you,” you breathed, and when you parted, you felt her run her thumb over your wedding ring. “I promise I’ll bring him back.” 

Mustafar- that’s where he was. You flew there, alone with your thoughts for the entire ride, but you knew that it would be your husband waiting for you when you arrived. 

You touched down on the landing dock, and for a moment, stared across the fiery landscape, wondering if this was your own, personal hell. To lose Anakin, to stand opposite Obi-Wan, to abandon Padme. 

A figure appeared, and dropped his hood, and you’d recognize him anywhere. He ran- and you did the same, opening the hatch so you could meet him. He opened his arms to you, and you fell into them, and if you hadn’t known, you wouldn’t have thought that anything changed. 

“Padme’s ship,” he said, posing a question, and you shook your head.

“She’s on Coruscant,” you said, resting your forehead against his shoulder. “It’s just me.” 

“What are you doing out here?” He asked, and you swallowed hard. 

“I was worried about you,” you said, holding onto his arms. “Obi-Wan...” you trailed off, and thought of your own advice. If there was any chance that the two of them would ever reconcile, it would be affected by your words in this moment. 

“We’ve been told terrible things,” you said, and you saw concern in his eyes. How this loving man before you could have done what Obi-Wan said... it didn’t make sense. 

“What things?”

“They said you’ve turned to the dark side,” you said, nearly in a whimper, but you chose not to specify who ‘they’ where that told you this rumor. He lowered his gaze, and pressed his forehead to yours, and it almost helped. “That you killed younglings.” 

“They’re trying to turn you against me,” Anakin said, holding you gently, and you shut your eyes. Obi-Wan was right, and Sidious had manipulated Anakin. You just had to get him back. 

“Anakin, I want to help you,” you said, and you felt him pull from your grip, slowly. 

“And I want to protect you,” he said, and his voice was so calm, like he didn’t realize the meaning that was behind them. “Only my new powers can do that.” 

As a Jedi, you excelled in decision making. You had strong instincts, and you had been praised in the past that any decision you made was likely the right one. 

So here, you needed to make a choice. A choice as to how you would bring Anakin back to the light. You could push, now, and make him feel betrayed. Or you could wait, and tug him slowly. 

The problem with the plan, the kink in the line, was that Obi-Wan was on his way, searching for Anakin. Sidious likely was, too. If you didn’t pull him to the light now, things would get worse. 

But you were willing to do whatever it took to keep Anakin alive. 

You pulled him against you again, in another hug, and wished that you could spend forever here, wrapped within him. 

“I am becoming more powerful than any Jedi has ever dreamed of,” he said, fingers slipping through your hair the way he would calm you of a nightmare. If only this were another nightmare, and you would wake up, and all would be right again. “And I’m doing it for you. To protect you.” 

You were sure, now, that Obi-Wan was right. Anakin had been taken to the dark side, but you knew he had not yet been lost. You knew you could bring him back. 

“We could leave,” you suggested quietly, fingers knotting into his robes. “Leave it all behind. We don’t have to be Jedi, we can just be together, far away from here.” 

“Don’t you see?” he asked, and as you pulled away, you saw a smile on his face. “We don’t have to run away anymore. I have brought peace to the Republic! Now we can be safe, Padme can be safe, the Separatists are gone. I’m even more powerful than the chancellor, (Y/N), I-I can overthrow him, if that’s what you want.” 

You had to make a decision. You had to choose. 

“And together, you and I can rule the galaxy! Make things the way we want them to be, the way they should be!” 

Choose- choose between the Jedi way that you’d been taught all your life, or Anakin. 

You brought your hands to his face, letting your fingertips settle in his hair. 

“Promise me,” you whispered, and your eyes lifted to his. “Promise me that when the day comes, you’ll overthrow the chancellor. Promise me that you’ll choose me over him.” 

“Of course,” he insisted, putting his flesh hand over yours, “It’s all for you, (Y/N).” 

“Anakin,” said a voice behind you, and you whirled from his arms to see Obi-Wan, standing at the hatch of Padme’s ship. 

“No, no!” You said, throwing up a hand toward him, your other to your side as though you were protecting Anakin from him. “No, Obi-Wan, you’ll only push him away! I can handle this!”

“He’s endangering himself, (Y/N),” Obi-Wan said, stepping down the ramp. 

“You brought him here?” 

“No!” you shouted over your shoulder, “I didn’t know he was on the ship!” Turning back to Obi-Wan, you brought your hand up higher, and you’d force him back, if you needed to. 

“Obi-Wan, trust me. He’s fine, he’ll be okay, I need you to go.” Obi-Wan looked at you for a moment, and you saw no trust in his eyes. Your right hand, which once kept Anakin back, slowly rounded to your saber where it hung on your back. 

“Obi-Wan, please. We don’t need to fight.” 

You expected, though, that you would have to. 

But Obi-Wan let out a breath, and conceded, stepping away. 

“Listen to me, both of you,” you said, turning your shoulders just so that you could refer to both of them, but still stand between them. 

“Obi-Wan, you need to be far from here. Far from Coruscant. Take Padme, too- far away. I don’t trust the emperor not to harm either of you.” You made a small motion to Anakin.

“We’ll take care of Sidious. He trusts Anakin, we can remove him. When it’s safe, I’ll let you know, and you can come home.” You could feel the way the air between them bristled, but it seemed Obi-Wan trusted you enough to heed your words. 

“Take Padme’s ship. Fly to Coruscant, then go, as far away as you can.”

“Tatooine,” Anakin suggested, voice dark. 

“Yes, go to Tatooine, and hide, please, Obi-Wan.” 

Without a word, Obi-Wan nodded, and turned back to the ship. You watched as it lifted off, and you didn’t look away until it had gone. You could feel Anakin simmering behind you. 

“Did he come to kill me?” He asked, and you reached for him. 

“No, no,” you soothed, hating yourself with every lie you told him. You knew it was for the best. “He was worried, worried for you, worried that he would have to kill you because of your loyalty to Sidious.” You pet his hair back, holding his face. “But you aren’t loyal to Sidious, see? And now that he knows that, we can all work together. He’ll keep Padme safe until we rule the galaxy.” Anakin nodded, resting his forehead against yours again. 

“When the time is right, (Y/N), I’ll do it. I’ll kill Palpatine.”

“I know,” you breathed, and it almost seemed like everything would be okay. 

~~~

He didn’t kill Palpatine. 

Sidious trusted him, and so did what Anakin asked, keeping you alive and nearby. He called you a Sith, and fashioned a saber for you, its color autumn red, with just the slightest reminder of your former orange. You were allowed to be on his left, when Anakin was on his right. 

In his office at the senate, he was in the midst of a meeting when you ran him through.

It had been two months since that day on Mustafar. Obi-Wan reported that Yoda had disappeared, and most other Jedi had scattered throughout the system. Padme was safe. And you loved Anakin, but he was taking his time to remove Sidious. 

You wondered if it was because of Sidious’ control over him. Possibly, Sidious could sense his intentions. You doubted he could sense yours. 

So, from behind him, beside your husband, you ignited your saber, running straight through his stomach. 

He fell to the floor, and the members of his cabinet looked at you, stunned. 

“Leave,” Anakin ordered, and they immediately obeyed. With Palpatine dead, the empire fell to Anakin. 

When the room was empty, you looked down at the monster on the floor. He was wheezing, and bleeding rapidly. 

With hands almost tender, you sat him up, and rested his head against the desk. 

“With your remaining breath, my master,” you said, sitting back onto the floor, “tell me your plan. Tell me how you pulled Anakin to the dark side. And I’ll tell you why you failed.” He glared at you. 

“I could kill you now,” you offered, auburn saber still in your hand. “But I want to know how to do what you’ve done. To pass on the way of the Sith.” 

“Anakin Skywalker loved Padme Amidala,” Palpatine wheezed, and you raised your chin. “I promised him that I could save the one he loved from certain death. And when she disappeared, he held loyalty to no one but me.” 

“You didn’t count on me,” you continued for him, “If it weren’t for me, it would have worked.” 

“Yes,” Palpatine growled. You smiled, wickedly, and collected your legs underneath you as though you were meditating. 

“You failed,” you said, holding up your end of the bargain, “because while Anakin loves Padme, he married me.” Sidious’ eyes went wide. How he had managed to discuss Padme with Anakin and it never somehow came up that he hadn’t married Padme, you didn’t want to know. 

“His loyalty is to me. And to Padme- who is right now on Tatooine, in the care of Obi-Wan Kenobi.” You lifted your saber, pointing it to him casually, like one might gesture with a pen. 

“It seems, Sidious, I never discussed with you my true feelings for Anakin.” You pressed the saber forward to his stab wound, and the blood around it began to boil and sizzle. You went in slowly, making him groan, having not enough energy to scream. 

“I love him,” you explained, “I would do anything for him.” You slid the saber up toward his chest, and began the same slow press, this time toward his heart, through healthy flesh. 

“And I’ve got to say,” you began, readying to shove the saber forward and stop his miserable, shriveled heart, “I don’t think I appreciate how you’ve treated him.” 

One thrust forward, and Emperor Palpatine was no more. 

With his lungs empty of their final breaths, you snuffed your saber, and turned back to Anakin. He was still sitting in the chair he’d had beside Palpatine, eyes trained to you, shining in intensity. 

“You’re in my seat,” you said as you stood. You approached him and grabbed him by the shirt, pulling him against you. “I’m afraid I’ve taken your place as right hand to the emperor.” 

“Is that so?” he teased, his hands on your lower back. 

“I believe it is,” you breathed, “Emperor Skywalker.” 

No one in the galaxy had ever shared a sweeter kiss. 

-🦌 Roe

[blackkatmagic]

Leia has traveled back in time and Aayla has to save Anakin from her trying to strangle him.

“You're sure you can do this?” Aayla asks gently. “No one will blame you for waiting.”

“I’ll blame me for waiting,” Leia says sharply, but when Aayla touches light fingers against her wrist, she turns her hand, grabs Aayla's, and squeezes.

Aayla squeezes back, smiling at her. “Obi-Wan will be there,” she points out, because mention of Obi-Wan is generally a good way to deescalate once Leia starts getting tense.

“That’s what I'm afraid of,” Leia says grimly. “I'm going to have to look at Obi-Wan and him and smile at them like I'm just another Jedi—”

“Not just another,” Aayla says, quiet. “One among many.”

Leia turns and looks at her, then takes a breath. Her mouth firms, and there's a fire in her eyes that made Aayla trip over herself, the first time she saw it on the battlefield. What she had with Kit once, that was overwhelming, but—

Leia is a storm, and she takes Aayla's breath away.

“Many,” Leia repeats, watching her, and finally smiles a little. It’s a smirk that Aayla will never tell her looks very, very much like Anakin's, even if Leia wears it better. “I guess even he can't face down all the Jedi if they know what’s coming.”

And Leia is here to be sure they do, regardless of the consequences. Aayla has heard her arguments with Luke, fights on how much to reveal and how much to keep secret, but—

This story should buy them enough cover for Leia to reveal everything without worrying. Aayla just has to play her part, and she’s more than willing.

“We will,” she says, and Leia squeezes her fingers one more time, then draws herself up straight and nods.

“All right,” she says, steely. “I'm ready.”

Aayla isn't about to doubt her. She nods, then casts a quick smile at Bly as he approaches, and asks teasingly, “Do I need to take your lightsaber away from you?”

“You might need to, but you're not going to,” Leia says flatly, and keys the door open.

That’s not the most promising start, Aayla thinks wryly, but she follows Leia's ringing bootfalls up towards the command deck of the Negotiator.

“The Liberty’s all ready if we need to make a quick getaway,” Bly says, only partially a joke. “I've got Lucky and Flash standing by to storm the bridge and carry General Leia away.”

Which entirely rests on the assumption that Leia will let herself be carried away, and Aayla doesn’t precisely have a lot of faith that that will happen.

“Thank you, Bly,” she says, and touches his vambrace lightly. “Have you heard from Master Quinlan?”

“I'm assuming no news is good news,” Bly says, a little wry, and Aayla snorts in agreement. Quinlan and Luke are going after Dooku. There are so many things that can go wrong, but—Aayla is trying to have faith.

The handful of them who are in one this plot have all the reason in the world to keep their faith, though. Leia is the greatest sign of that.

Or maybe, Aayla thinks, smiling, she’s just biased.

“Aayla,” Obi-Wan says, straightening as Leia takes the stairs up to the command center, Aayla a pace behind her. His eyes linger on Leia for a moment, no doubt feeling the curls of carefully-channeled fury and determination, then flicker down to the lightsaber clipped to her belt. “And a new face.”

“I'm only new if you haven’t been paying attention,” Leia says challengingly, tilting her chin up. Which, Aayla supposes, is entirely factually correct. The Senate was Leia's first stop, and no one there was quiet about her in the aftermath, whether they loved her or hated her.

Obi-Wan’s brows wing up, but he keeps his pleasant expression as he steps forward to meet them. “Well, I suppose I must not have been, then. Please forgive me for my oversight.”

“What do you mean, forgive you?” Anakin says, mulish, and comes around the edge of the table to stand next to Obi-Wan. Aayla can see the way Leia's shoulders instantly go tight, can feel the snapping rage that courses through her and then is dismissed in a wash of steel-edged determination. “You're not at fault here, Obi-Wan. Who even are you?”

Alderaan, Leia thinks, and Aayla only just catches the edges of it, but it’s quickly shoved down, shut away. She catches up with two quick steps, pressing a hand to the small of Leia's back. and smiles at Obi-Wan. “Master Obi-Wan, good to see you again. Anakin.”

“Aayla,” Anakin acknowledges, though he’s frowning at Leia. “You're keeping strange company these days.”

Leia takes a breath that’s ready to snarl, but before she can, Aayla tips her head, lets a lek curl around Leia's wrist. “Strange? Another Jedi is hardly unacceptable company, Anakin.”

“Jedi?” Anakin asks, startled, and he looks Leia over—

“Yes, Jedi,” Leia snaps, and doesn’t put her hand on her lightsaber. “Who did you think I was, a senator like your wife?”

Anakin goes instantly, dangerously white, and his eyes widen.

Tellingly, Obi-Wan only looks mildly startled. “Wife?” he asks, and slants a glance at Anakin. “Anakin, you married Padmé and didn’t even bother to invite me?”

Anakin's mouth opens, but not a single sound comes out.

Leia's smirk is a dangerous thing, and is Aayla had an ounce less composure, she’d probably try to drag Leia off somewhere secluded right then and there. “Say hello for me, next time you meet up with her to whine about not being appreciated enough,” she says. “Even though you know you're not fit to be a Master yet.”

“Excuse me,” Obi-Wan says, noticeably cooler, and steps right in front of Anakin. “I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I don’t know you.”

“I'm Leia,” Leia says, and it’s a dare, a taunt, a challenge all in one. “Leia Skywalker.”

“What?” Anakin demands. He steps past Obi-Wan, glaring, and his shoulders are tight, his hand close to his lightsaber. “You can't be! You're wrong.”

“Of course I'm not,” Leia snaps. “Wrong? Just because I say something you disagree with? Of course you’d take that track. I suppose you're not a murderer, either, just because you don’t like being called names.”

“Leia,” Aayla says, and tightens her lek just a little. “You can—”

“It’s a war,” Anakin says loudly, and takes a looming step towards Leia. “Anyone I've killed has been an enemy of the Republic—”

Leia makes a sound of pure, incandescent fury and lunges. With a yelp, Aayla throws herself after her, grabbing her around the waist and hauling her back half an inch before her hands can close around Anakin's neck. “Leia,” she says, and Leia snarls, but doesn’t fight it as Aayla bodily picks her up and carries her three steps back.

“Fine,” she spits. “But as soon as Luke gets here, I'm going to gut the bastard.”

Unlike most people using that tone, she’s definitely not talking about Aayla's Master. Aayla sighs, but hooks her arm through Leia's and aims her best smile at Obi-Wan, who’s eyeing Leia like a loth-cat that suddenly turned into a nexu. “Perhaps we should sit down and discuss this in a more comfortable setting,” she says. “Leia has information on Grievous’s location, and her twin is nearing Dooku's base. Once he’s close, he’ll comm us.”

“He’ll contact me,” Leia corrects sharply. “I'm the only one who can hear him across half the galaxy.”

Obi-Wan blinks at her, like he can't even begin to comprehend this statement.

“Hear him?” Anakin demands. “Through the Force? How is that even possible?”

Leia's grin has teeth. “I guess you're not the most dangerous almost-Jedi anymore, slimeball.”

This, Aayla reflects, might not have been the best idea after all.

[On AO3]

[revenge-of-the-shit]

Sneak Peak - Disconnected Conduit, Chapter 14

BECAUSE it is taking me too long to finish this fucking chapter, here’s a sneak peek because y’all deserve it. I’ve posted part of this sneak peek before, but here’s some new content. Unbeta’d. 

Then.

The trees of Dathomir cast long shadows with their branches. They stretch across the sky in a haphazard pattern, forming a jagged canopy that looms high over their heads. 

The moment Ahsoka steps off the ship, the branches twitch, stretching ever so slightly to turn towards her with reaching, spidery fingers. She smiles. Of course they’re reaching towards her - she’s Light. She’s life. 

Behind her, her masters step off the ship as well. Anakin’s body merges with each shadow cast by the branches, making his body look half-formed at best, a strange, twisted caricature of a half-human. It doesn’t really look like he’s walking - Ahsoka thinks his movements look far too smooth for that. Humans always have a certain way of walking - there’s always a slight up-down motion of their bodies every time their feet strike the ground. But with Anakin, there isn’t even the slightest bit of that. Just a strange, continuous forward motion.

If she looks at his face, she thinks that it would scare most people with how it only looks half-formed, like a body with pale skin and a mouth slashing through its cheeks with his head half-bashed in, only his head isn’t really bashed in - it’s just partially formed of incorporeal shadow. 

As for Obi-Wan, the part of Ahsoka that’s still a regular Togruta thinks it’s almost humorous how he seems to glide rather than walk, his legs completely dissolved into a blue-green mist that occasionally swirls to form a semblance of human legs before coalescing into a shapeless cloud again. 

It would be funny if it didn’t look so wrong. Her masters don’t look human at all. 

And she doesn’t care. She’s not afraid - she accepts it, because she knows she doesn’t look Togruta at all. She knows that when they look at her, they see something that’s not right.

“You look upset,” Anakin tells Obi-Wan. His voice sounds all strange, as if his normal voice is layered with the voice of the Son and something else, except Ahsoka can’t quite catch those other sounds. They’re there, but they’re just at the edge of her hearing, making it easy for her to think that she’s imagined it. 

Obi-Wan is looking downwards, frowning at the mist which should be making up his legs, but aren’t. “Well, I do seem to have an unfortunate amount of trouble remembering what a normal body should feel like.”

Anakin laughs, and so does Ahsoka. Anakin’s laugh is sharp and harsh and a tad too cold to sound like him. “It’s alright, Master,” Anakin teases. “The fading memory comes with the age.” 

“Yeah. You’re getting old, Master Kenobi,” Ahsoka adds, and both she and Anakin laugh again when Obi-Wan turns to her with a betrayed look. 

“Of all the padawans to be saddled with, it had to be you two,” he grumbles, and Anakin slings an arm of shadow around Obi-Wan’s half-dissolved shoulders. It works, strangely, the shadow mingling with the blue-green to turn it into a muddled colour where they make contact. 

“Admit it, you wouldn’t know what to do without us.” Anakin’s smile is too wide, his teeth too sharp and gleaming, yet Obi-Wan looks at it, completely unfazed, with the same amount of fond exasperation as he always does. “Right, Snips?”

“Of course,” Ahsoka laughs again, and a part of her marvels at how it sounds entirely unlike her. The laughter rings like bells across the forest, making the trees shift as they straighten at the sound. 

It’s not her laughter. It sounds absolutely nothing like her, and it should scare her. 

It doesn’t. 

--

The walk to the Nightsister coven is a short one. They spend half of it bantering as if there’s nothing amiss, the other half in a contemplative silence. While his padawans are bickering, Obi-Wan takes a moment to observe the changes within them as well as the ones within himself. Clearly, the Force on Dathomir has affected them in some way, uncovering their… true presences, for lack of better term. 

He wonders how the Nightsisters will receive them. He wonders if Asajj Ventress will be there, and he takes a moment to savor her potential reaction. 

“Master Kenobi?”

Ahsoka’s voice pulls him out of his thoughts. He glances at her quizzically, and she looks pointedly at his torso. He looks down. 

“Ah.” He looks back up, and carefully moves to the side. He’d been half-inside a tree and he hadn’t noticed. “Thank you.”

“That’s the fourth tree you’ve walked through,” Anakin notes. He says it almost casually, as if it’s something that’s perfectly normal. He raises his hand, pointing towards some of the low-hanging pods which are strung up on the branches of the trees up ahead. “I wouldn’t want to walk through those if I were you.” 

Obi-Wan dips his head. “Of course not.”

He knows what’s in the pods. The information in the Temple archives had detailed how all deceased Nightsisters were buried in such pods near the coven. What’s more, though many of them are long dead - perhaps centuries old, even - he can still sense the way the Force moves through them, sickly and slowly and with a carefully manipulated coldness. The thought of him passing unknowingly through the graves of the dead sisters not only makes him shudder - it makes him feel guilty. It would be very disrespectful, after all - it is one thing to walk over someone’s grave, and another to walk straight through it. 

They pass through the pods in silence, respectfully keeping a distance.

Something twitches at the edge of his vision. He looks sharply and sees nothing there, but a slight chill runs through his back. After they've passed the fifth pod, he speaks out. "The pods should be filled with bodies." 

Anakin raises an eyebrow. "They are."

They walk past another pod, and Obi-Wan's reason for speaking becomes clear when something inside the pod twitches and nudges the linens in an attempt to move closer to them. The lining of the pods do not break, but Obi-Wan is certain that there are bodies inside there that are moving. 

"It's because of me," Ahsoka says nonchalantly. They turn to face her. The unnatural glow coming from her skin bathes the area around them with a white-gold hue, making her difficult to look at directly. “The Light is waking them up. I’m not pushing enough energy to fully awaken them, but it’s enough to make them move a little.” 

She looks completely unfazed at the prospect of accidentally making the dead reawaken. 

(Through their training bond, Obi-Wan can sense that she really isn’t afraid at all, and it makes him worry. It’s not right. She doesn’t even seem interested - just too calm. Too serene. Too peaceful.)

A sudden spike of fear, carefully controlled but present, alerts Obi-Wan to several presences ahead. He turns to the entrance of the coven to see Mother Talzin and a couple of sisters flanking her only a short ways away. One of the sisters is robed in red; the other in black, with two familiar twin lightsabers at her belt. 

Asajj Ventress. 

Behind Obi-Wan, he senses Ahsoka’s emotions darken in a protective, vengeful anger just as he hears Anakin growl “Ventress” in a threatening tone. Before they can move, Obi-Wan throws out a hand, holding them back with the blue-green mist. 

“Let us not be hasty,” he quietly reminds them. Ahsoka complies immediately, her anger dissipating back into the strange calmness, whereas Anakin pushes against the blue-green mist for a few moments before he, too, relents. “The Council has agreed to leave her alone only on this planet provided that she does not attack us. And I sense no malice from her.” 

There definitely isn’t any malice at all. Instead, as they approach, though Ventress’ face is hidden by a cloth mask, Obi-Wan can sense the sharp fear that murmurs around her in the Force. When he and his padawans finally arrive at an acceptable distance to speak with the Nightsisters, Mother Talzin bows low, bending at the waist, while the two sisters at her side drop to their knees. 

“Great Ones,” she greets, “you honor us with your presence.” 

In the Force, Obi-Wan can sense Anakin’s glee at Ventress’ terror and deference. 

“It is the Will of the Force that we were the Jedi who were sent to aid you in defending your home,” Obi-Wan says in return. He pushes aside feelings of discomfort at their submission - as a general, he knows well enough when to use an advantage if necessary. “You may rise.” 

The Nightsisters straighten up and stand. Only Mother Talzin dares to meet Obi-Wan’s eyes. “We do not have much time. Your arrival has strengthened our magicks and our abilities of divination.” Her eyes wander to Ahsoka’s form, then to behind her back, where the wings of white-gold shimmer, nearly invisible to the naked eye. Talzin’s eyes then flicker to Anakin. “Dooku wishes to pull another trick. His attack will arrive one week earlier than anticipated - we have but two rotations to prepare.”

Anakin smirks, the expression horrifying on a face where the mouth stretches from ear to ear. “Good,” he laughs, and the Nightsisters flinch at the sharp edge of his tone. “I don’t like waiting.” 

Mother Talzin smiles then, and Obi-Wan is strongly reminded of why she is the clan Mother. Even Ventress, a powerful Force user in her own right, pales in comparison to the power he senses in Talzin. As if sensing his thoughts, Talzin turns to him, a grateful smile on her lips with a hardened glint in her eyes. “Your very presence will aid us greatly in our fight against Dooku’s minions,” she says, and had Obi-Wan still been fully human, he would have shuddered. 

But he’s not. So instead he offers her a smile, and they make their way inside to begin preparations.

[strrne]

Give Me a Signal, Ch.6

Chapters: 6/?

Word count (so far): 16295

AO3  Ch.1 Ch.2  Ch.3 Ch.4 Ch.5 Ch.7

Summary: When Padmé Amidala is unable to contact Coruscant while negotiating a loan on Scipio, the Senate suspects trouble, and sends Anakin Skywalker to go check on her. Of course, the resourceful senator isn’t really in any trouble – don’t flatter yourself, Rush Clovis – but there’s definitely some brewing.

(or; rewrite of the tcw S6 Clovis arc; anidala + gen)

Chapter 6

For once in his life, for the good of everything not yet tainted by the war… Rush Clovis had done the right thing. He had made the right call. And he was at last reaping the well-deserved rewards.

It had all happened in a heartbeat. He had been a hair trigger away from choosing wrong. Dooku had made him an enticing offer – take the file, play dumb about its origins, convict the Core Five, secure at least a significant position in shaping the future of the banks. He had made it sound so easy – and oh, so tempting. Padmé would have never known. No one would have ever found out.

But something – the faintest feeling of unease, of too-good-to-be-true – had stopped him. The impulse was there, ready to be indulged, but so was his ability to think twice, and think logically. Dooku was a Separatist – Clovis a traitor to their cause. No matter how convincing the Count's arguments, how silver his tongue, he had to have some kind of hidden agenda. And as far as hidden agendas went, this one was beginning to look more and more obvious. Dooku was planning to make him into some kind of puppet. Failing to mention the Separatist involvement in acquiring the correct file would make him a co-conspirator, if not effectively a reborn Separatist, and that would give Dooku leverage over him. And he had vowed to never again let himself be used this way.

But then – they needed that file. They needed it desperately, in order for any legal action or re-shaping of the banks to take place at all. And if Dooku himself had gone to the trouble of getting hold of it, he would have also made sure there would be no other copies, no other way of getting it except through his deceitful hand.

And as soon as Clovis had snapped back to reality – he had already thought about this too long – he had known exactly what to do. He would have the Jogan fruit cake and eat it too. He would take the file – and expose Dooku.

Instead of looking like a partner in crime, he'd be a hero. He would have successfully outsmarted the Count and the Separatists – he would have been honest. He would have been clever. He would have been worthy of the Republic's trust.

The moment he had held out his hand to accept the data file from Dooku, he had already seen his future play out before his eyes, as though in a vision. He would tell Padmé first. They would look at the file together and confirm its valuable contents. Padmé would not want to kiss him – not yet – not before sharing the good news with the Chancellor and granting Clovis a chance to explain himself. Besides exposing the crimes of the Core Five, he would expose the Separatist scheme to make him a co-conspirator, and he would gain the Chancellor's trust for his honesty. The Senate would be suspicious at first – but also impressed.

This is how the Clan ought to deal with the Separatists in the future, he would say – in the spirit of cooperation, without dancing to their fancies. With honesty and transparency. Rising above any and all attempts at deception. He was not afraid of them – neither should you be.

A task team would be dispatched to Scipio to apprehend and convict the Five. Meanwhile on Coruscant, there would be a vote. A vote to determine the next Head of the Clan. Someone already familiar with Scipio and the inner workings of the bank system. Someone wise, and impartial. Someone of strong backbone.

Someone like him, Rush Clovis.

So when all of this had transpired exactly like he had pictured it, it had felt like a playback of a favorite holonovela. One with – hopefully – a romantic ending.

-

It was a 'so glad you're here with me' kind of kiss. Anakin could feel it – sense it. And not anywhere else. So glad I'm not anywhere else. There's nothing else that matters – just you and me. Please believe me.

Her lips tasted as sweet and soft as always – she was as angelically beautiful as always. But there was a distance between them, even as their bodies writhed closer and closer. (Still fully clothed. They were at a party, and at any given time someone could mistake this maintenance closet for a fresher and empty the shaken contents of their stomach on them.)

The distance had nothing to do with their present whereabouts – they were used to hiding and fibbing, and even found a certain thrill in these adventures. It was an intangible distance – Anakin could sense it in her unspoken words. She was telling him not to go – no, she knew he had to. But she was telling him not to go anywhere he couldn't come back from. Nowhere where he would be out of options – where the only road to take was the wrong one. And she was urging him to trust her – but it felt as though she didn't trust him.

“You never did go to Scipio,” she whispered as she withdrew from another little taste of alternate reality. Anakin sighed, disappointed. Had she already had enough of this deceptive ecstasy? Why the hurry to return to the real world? Back to this puny, dingy closet? Why couldn't she have kept kissing him and let him sulk in secrecy?

“I finally figured out where I'd put my 87's," Anakin answered dutifully. "They were in the cockpit.”

“What?”

Anakin mentally rolled his eyes as he suddenly remembered one of Obi-Wan's wisecracks from a few weeks back.

“When I… when I crashed, about two months ago. I'd been fixing the ship's intercom system, and they were in the cockpit. Cockpit was destroyed… you know... just one of those days.”

His wife made an expression that seemed to indicate that no, she did not know those days, but she did dread them – if those days meant her husband in life-threatening danger that she was only now learning about.

She almost kissed him out of sheer belated relief, before remembering she needed to punish him for the very same reason.

“But you haven't purchased a replacement,” she pointed out.  

Anakin shook his head.

“I really prefer working with self-built tools these days. And no, I haven't finished constructing the replacement.” Padmé gaped at him. Two can play this punishment game, Anakin thought as he added, “Just haven't been able to get away from the field. Almost lost a leg last night.”

“Anakin, I've told you,” Padmé huffed, feigning indifference at Anakin's battlefront stories. “The signal has been much better since you… did something to it. The local professionals have been alerted. You don't need to go there again. Clovis starts in office in a few days' time, which will signal the start of yet another round of negotiations, then another, then another. Silly regulation or not, you could get arrested again, and you've already made a bad name for yourself over there. Last time the blame fell on Scipio. This time, it'll be on you. You're planning to break into their property and trample all over a law that's already caused us enough problems. You're interfering with my job, Anakin. Whatever you do will reflect on all of us. The Republic, the Order… and you!”

Anakin stared at her in silence. Truth was, he himself didn't quite understand why he was digging himself deeper and deeper into this hole. He had long since ceased to be able to quite distinguish between 'strong interest' and' unhealthy obsession', but he suspected his 'strong interest' in the tower was starting to fall under the latter category. Still, recognizing it as such did nothing to quench the obsession. He had already almost ruined something – so he needed to fix twice as good. Two negatives would make a positive. He had disrespected a law? He'd disrespect it again if it meant mending something far more consequential than hurt feelings.

“I don't understand why you're being so underhanded about this," Padmé went on. "Look at Clovis and his honesty. And he worked so hard to mend the Scipio-Republic relations, too!”

Anakin jerked back. There it was – that cursed name, that taboo word that he had already ignored once during the course of this conversation. Thrown right at his face – where it bounced off and curved over to hit him below the belt. He could no longer find words – but he was angry – at something. At someone. Clovis. Yes, obviously Clovis. That serpent had been leaving a trail of drool behind Padmé's every step for weeks now – he had been shaking her hand at inappropriate times, in an inappropriate manner. He had been casting Anakin knowing glances - “See, she has other interests than you. Yes, that's a banking pun.” Anakin had barely been holding himself together – drowning himself in dangerous, important and trivial missions – it didn't matter which kind – and in his pet project, a Skywalker Original that he could use to fix a stupid connectivity issue on Clovis's stupid planet – and never be thanked.

But to have to hear from his wife that Clovis – a traitor and a creep – was better than him, her husband – why did it sting this bad? Why did it immediately jumble his deck of sabacc, and spread it on the floor like it had been soaked in rhydonium and was waiting to be set on fire?

Anakin didn't respond, although his nostrils visibly flaring was probably enough of a response. He whirled around in the small space to peek out of the keyhole. The entire party crowd had their backs turned to their direction, presently listening to a speech given by – wouldn't you know it – the newly instated head of the Banking Clan. Anakin narrowed his eyes to catch a better view. Clovis's gaze was scanning through the audience – searching for Padmé, who else.

“You should probably go first,” Anakin suggested, knowing nobody would miss him whether he chose to wait five minutes or five hours before exiting their secret hideout.

-

“Padmé,” Clovis beamed as he darted off the stage to meet his colleague. The audience was still clapping. Padmé took two steps back, but gave a slight smile.

“Again, congratulations,” she said. “What are you planning to-”

Whatever Clovis was planning, it was not a conversation. And whatever he was planning, he was planning to do right then and there, in front of all these people. He was planning on marking his territory – that a certain overstepping Jedi was not here to protect.

But he was making a grave mistake – in supposing Padmé needed protection. She didn't even need a plan – she was going to embarrass him in public, without hesitation.

But Clovis had evidently been prepared – at the last justifiable moment, he managed to transform his attempted kiss into a friendly-looking whisper, like one used to tell an inside joke. The crowds stared – most of them probably still seeing a pair of chummy colleagues. Some of them maybe exchanged significant looks – suspected something between them.

But Padmé knew. She knew what Clovis had meant to do. And suddenly she felt quite uncomfortable.

But she also knew she had just lectured Anakin on the importance of diplomacy – told him not to do anything to risk good relations between the Republic and the banks – and she knew, she couldn't either. She couldn't tell Clovis to leave – not here, not like this.

Anakin might have been childish to storm off like he had – but suddenly she couldn't wait to quit this party. Suddenly she couldn't wait for all of this to be over.

-

”General Kenobi. Are you on your way to see Anakin as well?” Padmé gave a slight smile, to hide her frustration. ”Do I have to get in line?”

Obi-Wan stared at Padmé for quite a while before he answered, which would have probably made her nervous, had his expression not been so completely blank and unreadable.

”I shall grant your priority, Senator.”

Or perhaps it was perfectly readable. Padmé felt her cheeks warm up, pretending to fix her hair to hide the scarlet. The enigmatic Jedi Master would make comments like this every once in a while – comments that said everything, yet compelled no further discussion. Still – something in his manner seemed to have shifted. But that was as far as Padmé could judge, without the Force, or a more intimate acquaintance with the closed-off man.

Padme cleared her throat. ”Have you been in contact with him lately? I'm afraid Scipio has been weighing hard on him, and I, um... feel partially responsible.”

Ever since Scipio, Anakin had thrown himself on an unprecedented number of mandatory and voluntary missions, all but locked himself into his quarters in his spare time, and hardly spoken to anyone. She had shared the bed with him on a few nights, stolen a kiss or an embrace when she could, but even then – it had felt like he had been there, but hadn't been there. Like he had been but an apparition.

Now he was back from yet another mission, fixing up his starfighter - or possibly plotting his next arrest.

”Last time we spoke, he was looking for something called an '87'," Kenobi replied. "Some kind of… hammer, I think?”

Padmé sighed. Definitely still plotting his next arrest.

”It's a type of wrench," Padmé corrected. "And did you ask him what he needed that for?”

Obi-Wan stared at her in silence again, opening his mouth several times, as though trying to choose between three or four either equally good or equally bad responses.

”That… I did not ask him.”

Padmé nodded, not all that inclined to inquire what Obi-Wan had asked Anakin. The man could only blame himself - he was none too open nor talkative. She and Anakin were aware that Obi-Wan knew about them on some level, and was both too kind-hearted and too apathetic to say or do anything – to them, or about them.

And if he were to do so, one day, Padmé found herself hypothesizing - her first response would probably be that of fight or flight – a last desperate denial, perhaps. But in the end - she knew that it wouldn't last. Because she also knew that she and Anakin could have really used an ally – a friend. A friend who admitted to being their friend.

”Well, if you had – you would know that he's planning to do something ill-advised.”

Obi-Wan didn't seem surprised by this revelation – in fact, he seemed to have just learned that space was indeed vast – but he also didn't seem to take well to the criticism directed at him. He studied her a while, then said, “You know, Senator... the Chancellor only sent Anakin to Scipio. I tagged along on my day off. I know that I probably only managed to make things worse… but I thought I was stopping him from doing something 'ill-advised'. I sensed that he had a lot… personal feelings as to the… situation.”

Padmé couldn't help but smile. She remembered at first being irritated at Obi-Wan's presence there – couldn't a woman kiss her secret husband anymore, without having to put up a show of 'just friends' in front of his best friend/mentor who had 'tagged along', and who clearly already knew?

But now, hearing his words – she knew Obi-Wan had meant well.

“I'll take you up on your kind offer and go check on him first," she said, picking up the pace, hearing Obi-Wan halt in place behind her.

But Padmé was not there first. She had barely reached the hangar when she almost bumped into Clovis at the doorway. He was rubbing his cheek with both his hands, muttering something about maybe having dislocated a molar.

”Padmé." He took both her shoulders in his hands, pulling her closer. His eyes moved about wildly. "That man is insane. You know he's insane, don't you?”

Padmé stared at him. ”Clovis, what happened?”

”I was going to check up on the ship that is to take me to Scipio tomorrow," he explained with great urgency.

”Anakin… attacked you?” Not only was Padmé shocked at her own deduction, she was also shocked at the speed at which it came out of her mouth.

”Padmé,” Clovis said, lowering his voice while continuing to hold his cheek, ”I do not want to cause any more public uproar."

Padmé could hardly believe it. But the worst of it was – that she could.

-

”Anakin, what did you do?"

Anakin turned towards her slowly in the pilot's seat. The doors had been open – he had to have heard her arrival and chosen to keep them that way. And guilty he did look – of something. His expression was oddly calm, but his eyes were blazing. At first, he looked like he wanted to scream – or cry – or something. But he stayed silent, for a long while.

”I shouldn't have,” he finally said quietly. “I know that.”

”Anakin, what did you do?”

”I punched him.”

Padmé gave a small gasp – but then, she had known the molar had not dislocated itself. Anakin then added, turning his other cheek, which wore the faintest hue of red, ”And he returned the courtesy.”

Padmé glanced at the cheek, then stared at him in the eye.

”That's when I sensed you coming," Anakin went on. He seemed to be barely comprehending his own words, or the fact that he was speaking at all. "And I... I know there was a third punch – but I have no memory of who delivered it. But I know it did the most damage.”

Padmé suddenly took a good look at the ship's control table. By the looks of it, the table had been on the receiving end of the mystery punch – that, or someone had been pinned against it.

"What was he doing in your ship?" she forced herself to ask.

Anakin only shook his head.

”Both of you..." Padmé drew a deep breath, sat in the passenger's seat, and started again. "Both of you need to stop before you do something you'll regret. I don't... need this. Nobody needs this. There are much bigger things going on here than... whatever this is."

Anakin nodded. He could not seem to meet her eyes.

"I don't even remember what he said before... before..." he whispered, trailing off.

Padmé bit her lower lip. She had a natural inclination to rationalize, to somehow justify her husband's actions... and perhaps even judge Clovis' instead, or more harshly. But in the end, did it really matter what Clovis had said? Did it really make a difference whether he'd provoked Anakin?

”I saw you two at the party,” Anakin continued. ”I wanted to punch him then, too.”

Well, there it was.

”…What stopped you?” she asked, as though out of academic curiosity.

”Nothing did,” Anakin said quietly. “I… I only put off the inevitable.”

”The inevitable?”

“I was… I was always going to do it. I was always going to lose control. I was just so… angry. Too angry…”

Anakin’s voice sounded pained – as though he’d rather have been anything but angry – been anyone but himself: the Chosen One, powerful Jedi, competent military officer, great pilot, master engineer, loving husband – who was always, inevitably, going to lose control.

Padmé didn’t quite know what to say. To be angry was to be human – but to act on it was to be destructive. And today, fortunately, that destruction had only spread as far as the control table, and a molar.

[swfanficbyjz]

Light Therapy - SW AU

Pairing: Brotp Anakin/Ahsoka

"Rex." Ahsoka said, grabbing his arm. "What is it, General?" He asked concerned. The change she'd felt had been instant. She looked him in the eyes, "we have to go back!" "But Bo Katan and the Mandalorians are counting on us." He said. She gripped him harder, feeling near hysterical. "Something bad is happening, Rex. I can feel it!" She was on the verge of tears, her chest tightening by the second. Did she dare say it was about Anakin?

"You're the boss," he conceded. "You're more than capable of leading them, Rex. You don't need me. Go, help them." She turned to go but it was his turn to grab her arm. "Oh no you don't, Little'un. I've fought by your side for four years, whatever you're sensing? I'm coming with you." He said stubbornly. Her heart softened at his loyalty. The Jedi taught letting go. If she was still a Jedi, she'd be compelled to ignore the feeling that was haunting her now. But she wasn't a Jedi anymore. Regardless of whatever status she'd been given to complete this mission. And her instincts were screaming at her that this was bigger than just her love for one man. The fate of the galaxy rested on her choice. --- The temple was burning. Something bad was going down. She cast a sidelong glance at Rex, she could tell he was worried too. "Why are the clones marching like that?" He asked. And then they caught sight of who was leading them. "You were right, Ahsoka." She swallowed hard. She used to thrive on being right, now she hated it. Of all things to be right about, this wasn't the one. "We have to stop them." She said, noticing that he'd glanced at his wrist comm. a hooded figure appeared when he pressed the button. "Execute Order 66." It said and then disappeared. He looked dazed for a moment. "Ahsoka..." he tone was suddenly low. "What is Order 66?" She asked. "Fives discovered a conspiracy when Tup malfunctioned. Turned out all the clones had a chip placed in their head. The Kaminoans claimed it was an inhibitor chip; something that would make us more obedient and less destructive. Fives was convinced it was a control chip. But he was executed before he could prove it. He sounded crazy, ranting about separatists some how being able to take control of the Republic's army. But... I believed him. I convinced as many brothers as I could to get ours removed. Only a handful did." "I'm afraid to ask..." she whispered trying to swallow the fear that was building up inside her. "Tup kept repeating 'good soldiers follow orders', before he turned and killed a Jedi." Rex said sadly. "Order 66... it turns the clones against Jedi?" She said staring blankly out the transparisteel glass. "That explains the clones, but why is Anakin leading them to commit such atrocity?" "I don't know, Little'un." --- From where she'd climbed inside the temple, it took all her strength to not cry out at the destruction she was witnessing. She wanted to aid all of them, but if she was going to stop Anakin, she had to be careful how. There wasn't enough time to gather her own army. Her and Rex just had to wing it. He had said he'd distract the clones. It was her job to stop her master, preferably without killing him. She closed her eyes, reaching for the comforting feeling of the force. It was hard to find here. She was hit with pain and fear and darkness first. She swallowed, forcing herself through the bombardment of negativity to find peace and clarity. He was coming, she could feel him. He usually lit up the force like a bonfire, but right now, she felt like she was too close to a sun. She really hoped she was strong enough to save him. Or worse... she stomped out the thought. It wouldn't come to that. She wouldn't let it. She took one last deep breath and dropped the distance to the hallway below. Landing ten meters from where he was. She stood up tall, puffing herself up to feel bigger. Her heart raced in her chest, she tightened her grip on her lightsabers. He looked up at her from beneath the black hooded robe. His eyes flashing gold in the temple lights. This was not the Anakin she knew. She forced herself to focus. She had to be strong. But in all her years of training under him, she never could've imagined the day that he'd become the enemy. He wasn't the enemy, she reminded herself. He was her friend, and she had to save him. He stood there as though impassable. His blue lightsaber held tightly in his mechanical hand, still lit from the last person he'd swung it through. Their screams echoing around the temple as their life force was stolen away by someone that was once a friend. His features were lined and dark. Who had done this to him? What led him here? They stared at each other in silence as though their very souls fought an invisible battle between them. "Stand aside, Ahsoka." He said darkly. "You cannot stop me now." "I will not." She replied, rousing as much snippy stubbornness as she could muster so she felt more in control. "Don't make me kill you." He hissed. The threat sent a shiver down her spine.. This was the man that had once promised he'd never let anyone hurt her. Now here they were. Years of friendship had come to this. She ignited her lightsabers, crouching low to the ground, spinning them into her reverse grip. "I don't want to hurt you, Anakin. But I will if I have to." She said stiffly. "Why are you doing this?" "Because I have to." Was all he said before leaping forward to bring down a strike. She rolled under his legs and jumped back to her feet. Swinging forcefully, making him block. His words echoing in her head. 'Because I have to...' He moved gracefully, she had to be careful she didn't fall back into the comfortable feeling of an afternoon sparring session. Whatever was happening right now, was life or death. She moved carefully, allowing her senses to rest only between them. She was trusting Rex to keep the others occupied. She hoped he was safe. He spoke only with his weapon, slashing forward with intent to kill. She fought him off as best she could, keeping pace with him almost as if she were his equal. It wasn't true, she knew that. He was twisted right now. If he were thinking clearly, she wouldn't have lasted this long. She felt his burning hatred and anger as he cast it with every swing and she could do nothing but wonder what had caused him to fall so far. She'd been face to face with him less than a week ago; the last thing she remembered was his determination to save the chancellor. She'd heard the reports, he'd killed count Dooku and returned a hero. His anger now, his fall... it made no sense. She'd watched him flirt with the darkness under his tutelage. She knew it lived in him. The years of pain and sorrow and loss etched into his soul; scars that would never heal. But through all that, he was a warrior of good, a beacon of light. Had Dooku said something to twist him? Or was he being controlled by the same mysterious Sith Lord they'd been hunting for years? She tried to lose herself in the force letting it be her guide, but she couldn't completely push aside the questions threatening to consume her. She wanted to understand. No, she needed to. After flipping off the wall and twisting as she sailed over his head, something dawned on her as she felt the boiling fear racing to the surface. Every moment she delayed him made him more afraid. But of what? She sensed Rex above her and knew what she had to do. "You're weak!" She screamed at him, trying to get under his skin. It was the hardest thing to say. He wasn't weak, he was afraid. "How dare you?" He ranted like a cornered beast. She stood her ground until he was almost on top of her and then she force leapt to the top of the furred temple wall. "You were never fit to be my master. I deserved better!" She yelled, racing across the ledge. She could feel him in pursuit. He scaled the wall in nothing flat. She was fast, but he was gaining on her. She hoped she'd make it to the end of the hall. "Obi wan was supposed to be your master! If you hated me that much, why didn't you go to the council?" He was venomous. "I was better than both of you." She said, focusing her attention on the balcony up ahead. "The only person worthy of training me was Master Windu!" "You think him worthy? I killed him!" His eyes flashed dangerously yellow. She could see a dark shadow take shape around him. She gasped internally, pushing the need to mourn aside. 3... 2... 1... leap! She vaulted towards the balcony a split second before he grabbed her, rolling through the doorway and around the corner. She nodded at Rex who hid in the shadows, and dropped to her knees in meditation. The moment he came through the doorway he was hit with Rex's stun gun. She watched him fall unconscious to the ground, feeling as though her heart would rip in two. She glanced up at Rex, tears rolling down her cheek. He had a sad, sympathetic look across his features. He looked as exhausted as she felt. She moved towards where he'd fallen, clipping his lightsaber to her belt with her own. She traced a hand down his cheek as though in mourning. --- Ahsoka crossed her legs on the stump, losing herself in the meditation. They'd been forced to keep him under for a week so they could get him somewhere safe. She'd argued with Rex multiple times about being alone with him on the planet. He didn't trust that she'd be safe after what they'd witnessed at the temple. And though she wasn't so sure herself anymore, she refused to leave him to this fate. She struggled to focus on the force, her sessions often being overrun by questions. So many questions. But not just about what happened to him, but also what had happened in the war. The way it ended... it made no sense. But they were far away from it for now. Those answers would come in time. She sighed and opened her eyes, watching his chest rise and fall where he slept in the tent across the way. He'd be waking up any minute now. She hoped she knew what she was doing. She'd left their lightsabers with Rex, but they could still fight. She hoped he could forgive her for the things she'd said back in the temple. But more than anything, she hoped that she could bring him back to the light. The Jedi preached that once someone goes down that path, there is no saving them. But she didn't want to believe that. It wasn't too late. Whatever had happened to him... they could free him, undo it. If he'd work with her. He sat up suddenly and looked around. She closed her eyes unable to bear the darkness in his. She felt him reach through the force, clenching tight around her throat. She fought the urge to panic. "No one is coming for you, Anakin." She said breathlessly. "You can kill me, but then you'll never get off this planet." He held it for a moment longer and then released. She swallowed hard trying to catch her breath. "Where are we?" He demanded. "Somewhere far away from everything." She whispered. "But we're alone here. There's no way off. No civilizations. No ship. Nothing." "What do you want from me?" He asked angrily. She opened her eyes and looked up at him, unable to bear the waves of emotion crashing through her in the force. "I want to understand." She breathed. "Some things aren't meant to be understood." He said stubbornly turning his back to her. She wished he'd just let her in. He had nothing to lose at this point, but still he refused. "You're right." She said, clapping her hands on her thighs and standing up. "But I can feel your fear, Anakin. I know that whatever you're afraid of, you feel like you're running out of time. But until you tell me the truth, you're stuck here. Only one person in the galaxy knows where we are, and they have their orders to not come get us until they hear it from me. Not even your new master will find you here." She turned and started walking along the forest path, needing a breath of fresh air. The force around him was oppressive and dark. --- When she returned to the camp he was gone. Somehow that didn't surprise her, he'd always been impatient, it was probably worse now. It made her sad though, that he didn't trust her anymore. Yeah she'd been forced to say things she didn't mean in order to get him here, and if he'd been thinking straight, surely he would have known that. But she'd hoped he'd see that she was doing this not to torture him but because she cared about him. She hoped her actions would somehow carry more weight than the spoken words. He came back on the third day, and collapsed shortly after entering the clearing. She couldn't believe he'd rather take his chances out there in the wild than just tell her the truth. She picked him up by the shoulders and dragged him over to the tent. She warmed up a wet cloth by the fire and knelt down by his side. He was covered in scratches and his robes were torn in a few places. She started slowly washing his face, trying to gently massage it as she went.. Then she moved down to his chest, cleaning several wounds she could see through his robes. She leaned over to get one on his right shoulder and then a few on his legs. Then she sat down next to his left side, and picked up his arm. She slid her fingers up the sleeve of his robe, looking for any injuries there. Then she pulled off his left glove that was mostly shredded. She moved the cloth softly over his hand, trying to clean off the dirt and dried blood. In the firelight, she could make out a few bruises. She had no idea what he'd gotten himself into, but she was glad he'd come back. Once she finished with the wounds she could see, she set the cloth aside and looked down at his face. She'd left his hand resting on her thigh. She liked its familiar weight and feel. His breathing was still a little ragged, but she was certain he'd not been asleep while she'd treated the scrapes. But he kept his eyes closed, so she couldn't be sure. Even though he was right there next to her, he seemed so far away. Ever since she'd found him in the temple, it was like he was drifting away. What had caused the chasm between them? Why did she feel that if she stayed... it would swallow her whole? But even if that were true, she couldn't leave him now. No matter what was going on out there in the galaxy, she wasn't leaving without him. Even if it meant spending the rest of her life on this isolated planet. She moved his robes a little so she could set her hand down over his heart. She focused her energy, filling herself with warmth and light. She breathed deeply, letting the force's peace consume her. She felt it begin to spread, pumping through her as though moving with the blood in her veins. She'd never been a force healer, but this wasn't about fixing the body. She felt the light spread to all the corners of her body and then pushed it from her hand into his chest. She felt him grab her wrist with his mechanical hand in a vise grip. It hurt, but she couldn't stop now. She ignored the pain, spreading her fingers across his skin and letting the light pass from her to him. She felt his other hand tighten on her thigh. She clenched her teeth, pushing further despite the cost. After a few minutes of pressing the energy into him, she started to feel it spread from his heart. The flow was weak at first, but it was there. She felt it pump through him. She didn't even flinch when his eyes snapped open and he lifted his head to stare at her. She was too lost in the light and the need to heal his broken soul, to care what he did to her now. The only thing that mattered to her was her hand against the skin of his chest and the light that was passing between them. "Ahsoka..." he murmured, his head falling back to the ground. "Why are you doing this?" "I can't lose you, master!" She said, trying not to lose focus. He was quiet for a moment. This connected to him, she could feel his pain pumping through her too. She had to fight it. But the darkness was building in him again. And her light was being consumed by it. It was a risk she'd had to take. Opening herself to give him light, meant she was vulnerable to the darkness in him. She trembled as she tried to draw on the light side of the force. She tried bolstering her strength to stay focused. But his energy was strong, she wasn't sure how long she could fight it. She had to pull away. But she couldn't. "I thought I wasn't fit to be your master." He said. She flinched as darkness seared across her senses. "I lied to you, Anakin." She breathed, fighting to stay above the waves. "You were the only master I ever wanted. I only said those things to make you follow me." She felt like she was going under. Please, she begged. Fight it! "You didn't mean them?" His tone was just a little lighter, almost hopeful. She shook her head. "We all made mistakes. None of us were perfect, but never once in all my years with you, did I wish for a different teacher." She breathed, chest tight. "You were difficult. I'll admit it. You pushed me harder than anyone. But I stuck with you. Not because I had to." "Then why?" He asked. She could feel the cracks now. They were deeper than she ever thought possible. And it dawned on her... he didn't know what love was. He loved everyone, he loved and loved and loved, but he couldn't recognize it from someone else. She blinked a few times and looked at him. "Because I love you. I've always loved you." "The Jedi aren't allowed to love." He said angrily, a tidal wave of pain crashed through her again. "When did we ever follow the rules?" She squeaked, biting her lip to not be consumed by his negativity. She was losing this battle. If she didn't let go soon, the darkness would win. Just as she reached breaking point, she felt it give way. Receding into the far corners of his soul. She collapsed onto his chest, exhausted and drained from the amount of energy that had passed through her like a conduit. He didn't feel lighter. She wasn't sure if she'd actually accomplished anything. She buried her face in his robes, trying to steady herself. He'd let go of her, but he still felt distant. If she hadn't been holding him, she'd have thought he was gone again. She sighed as the silence dragged on. Maybe she'd been foolish to think she'd be able to reach him. She'd hoped that whatever he asked of her while they were connected that if he didn't believe what she said, he'd feel the truth from her. She'd meant all of it. She felt his anger boil up again, laced in fear. And she sat up and turned away, watching the flames of their campfire flicker and spark. She pulled her knees up and wrapped her arms around them, resting her face on them. She let the tears fall down, soaking through her pants. Maybe it was time to just accept it. Whatever had cut the bond between them had caused irreparable damage. "I didn't want to kill you," he said quietly from behind her. She squeezed her eyes shut at the stinging words. "But you were in the way." "In the way of what?" She asked turning on him. "Why can't you just tell me? Maybe I could've have helped you!" She stood up, shaking. She hated the feeling that was consuming her. The frustration and anger that she couldn't gain control over. "Did you ever think of that, Anakin? That there were people around you that cared? That no matter what the problem or danger, would have stood by your side? No of course you didn't! You only thought about yourself." She ranted, unable to close it down. She paced around the fire, trying to calm down, but she couldn't. She wanted to hit him, to hurt him. To cause him the pain he caused her. She loved him, but she also hated him. She hated how infuriating he was. How closed down he'd always been. She hated that he'd never open up, or tell her about his past. She'd made excuses for him, telling herself all the reasons why he couldn't. But it never stopped the pain of being left on the outside. Of knowing that he'd never invite her in. She hated how controlling he was, the way he made her feel like she couldn't handle herself. But more than anything, she hated that she loved him anyways. She hated her devotion to him. She hated that she'd risk her life a thousand times over to protect him, even if he didn't want her to. She glanced over at him to see that he'd rolled away, so his back was to her.. What had she expected? An apology? She almost laughed out loud at the ridiculousness of that thought. She went over to the crate and pulled out a meal bag and a water pack and threw them at him. The water one hit him in the side. He turned and glared at her. She picked up one of each for herself and sat down by the fire to eat. She didn't know what had happened to him since she left, but based on what she'd felt during the healing exercise earlier, she suspected whatever it was had only been the final break. The cracks in him ran too deep to have been caused by one thing. She stared at the fire, resisting the urge to call Rex to come get her. She almost wanted to just leave him here now. Maybe then he'd figure it out. Or.... he'd just destroy himself. And no matter what residual anger burned in her chest, she couldn't let him do that. She'd gotten herself into this mess, there was no point quitting now. She glanced up as he sat down on the other side of the fire from her. His long hair was wild and tangled. His robes were ripped and torn, and there still burned a little gold in his eyes. She could feel the tightness of his muscles from where she sat. It wasn't hard to notice the stiffness of his movements. He looked like he was fighting a battle inside himself, and she softened. All anger evaporated from her. He looked up and caught her staring, but she didn't look away. He was so broken, it was amazing he was even functioning. It amazed her that he'd ever functioned. She wondered briefly if she'd pushed him sooner, would he have opened up to her then? But she pushed the thought aside already knowing the answer. Her eyes felt dry from all the crying and rage of emotions. But the food and water perked her up again. Were they just going to stare at each other for days? Was there anything more she could say to get him to talk? She didn't think so.. It was his turn to give a little, she'd already put too much on the line. "I know what you're trying to do. But you can't help me now." He said finally and then looked down at the meal pack in his hands as though it were the most interesting thing in the world. She studied him, trying to read him. She was surprised to realize that he wanted to be saved. He just didn't think he could be. "And what makes you say that?" She asked as though ignorant of anything he'd done wrong. "I've done terrible things. There is no hope for me." She got the distinct impression that he wasn't talking about recent events. "There never was." His voice was hollow. What could he have done that would lead to such a conclusion? Even the stuff she'd witnessed in the temple could be forgiven and made right. "Who told you that?" She whispered, sorrow spreading through her soul. "Everyone!" He flashed hot with anger for a moment, but then it faded away. She closed her eyes for a moment, searching her memory. It felt like pieces of a puzzle were slowly clicking into place. She saw Obi wan's annoyance, Admiral Yularan rolling his eyes. She felt Windu's critical stare and Yoda's disapproval. She realized that these weren't isolated events. They were things that ate away at him over the years. These things and more. She saw him standing in front of the council at nine years old; scared, tired and cold. Looking from face to face seeing only judgement and reservation. She heard Obi wan telling another Jedi she didn't know that he was dangerous. Even though he was just a boy. And then she saw Padmé; soft and glowing and angelic. She saw her tell him to be angry was to be human. And heard him deny the feeling. 'I am a Jedi! I'm better than this!' As though he realized what she was seeing, the visions suddenly faded as he clamped himself shut again. She looked at him blinking a few times to really see him. He sat there fuming. But she saw the unmistakable tremble of fear.

What was he afraid of? He lashed out in anger and hatred but that was only the symptom of fear. Fear of what? She didn't know what to say. Even though he'd given her a brief glimpse, even if it was by accident, she felt like now was not the time to say anything. When he'd been angry at her during the war, why? Because she disobeyed an order? Because she'd sassed him? Because she'd made him feel like a fool? Or was it bigger than that? Before she could respond he turned his back and went back inside the tent. She watched him go wondering if she'd bitten off more than she could chew. Maybe she'd be sorry for wanting to know the truth. As she understood now, that she'd had only a minuscule glimpse at who he really was. It was awful that you could follow someone around for four years thinking you actually knew them. Even worse to find out that they could hide their true selves away for so long. She blinked and stood up, staring intensely at his back. He only knew how to hide. He'd been hiding from everyone the moment they'd told him he was dangerous. This wasn't about her, this was about all of them. Not even Obi wan knew the truth of who he was. No wonder she couldn't reach him. No one could. He'd made sure of that. When she was sure he was asleep, she walked a few kilometers away from the camp and hit her comm button. "Are you alright?" Rex's voice came through immediately as though he'd been hovering by it waiting for her call. She smiled at his concern. "Yes, Rex. I'm fine." She replied. "Is he better?" He asked. "Not really, but I have a favor to ask of you." "Do you need me to stun him again?" She laughed. "No. I need you to find Artoo, and bring him here. Please." She said. "That might take awhile," he said. "You'll be on your own until I get back." "I know. I wouldn't ask if it was important though." "Okay. I'm on my way." "Thank you." She said absentmindedly waving at the sky even though she knew he wasn't near enough to see it. She hoped she was right about this. --- She climbed over him, trying not to wake him and curled up on the far side of the tent. She was tired from the tidal waves of emotion but she felt safe enough now to let down her guard. They hadn't really resolved anything, but he at least seemed to accept that he wasn't getting off this planet without her. The next few days passed much the same way, bursts of anger, minimal conversation and simply trying to out wait each other. What he didn't seem to realize was she'd set this place up for the long haul. She knew enough about it now, they could live the rest of their lives there if necessary. She hoped Rex would be back soon with Artoo. She was certain he held the key to unlocking the secrets Anakin refused to share. She wondered why it had never dawned on her before. He'd claimed he refused to wipe the droid's memory because his knowledge was helpful to missions. Which she agreed with. It had benefited them more than once for Artoo to know what was going on. But when she'd called up Rex, she'd intended to ask him to go get Padmé. She'd hesitated before saying her name though, realizing that he was not in a state yet in which she'd be safe, nor was he ready for the news. Every once in awhile, she wished Obi wan was here, thinking that surely he'd know what to do. But then she'd remember his annoyance and lectures and decided that probably wasn't a good idea yet either. What she needed was not judgements, just facts. So who better than a droid? And not just any droid, one that she'd known had been with him long before she met him. And one that likely carried in their memory banks, the truth. She woke up one night about a week and a half later unsure of what had roused her. She saw that Anakin was curled up in his corner like usual. He felt alright, that wasn't what had done it. Then she saw the flashing light on her commlink. As quiet as she could, she snuck out of the tent, running towards the drop off point. Stopping occasionally to make sure he wasn't following her. She felt around in the force to be sure, but he was still back at camp. She ran the few kilometers away, hoping he wouldn't wake to hear the Twilight.. She breathed a deep sigh of relief to see Rex standing there with Artoo beeping happily beside him. "It wasn't easy," he said. "The senator didn't want to give him up without reason. And since they don't know he's still alive, it took some negotiating." "Thank you!" She exclaimed, throwing her arms around him in a hug. "Anything I should know?" "Things are bad out there. The few Jedi left that survived Order 66 can't convince the public that the Chancellor is behind the war. Especially since he supposedly 'brought the end of it.'" Rex sighed, clapping his hands together angrily. "He made moves to form a grand empire, claiming that it will catapult the republic into a far more prestigious role. I don't know how he pulled it off, but he has an impressive backing already. It's getting difficult to move around the galaxy without running into trouble. Senator Organa and Senator Amidala have been talking about raising a rebellion. But as far as I know, it's all talk right now. We could really use you and general Skywalker." She patted him on the shoulder. "I know Rex." She said sadly. "He's been burying his problems for too long, it's not been easy to reach him." "Has he hurt you?" He asked, looking her over. "I'm fine." She said. "You didn't answer my question." "I can handle it." He gave her a knowing look. "Well be careful." "I will." She said confidently. "Thank you for bringing Artoo, I think he's the key." "I hope so. The senator was adamant that I bring him back in one piece. I suspect it's because she doesn't know... the truth." "If all goes well, we'll all be back soon and in one piece." She said, starting to turn but Rex caught her arm. "Ahsoka." He said softly, glancing around at the forest nervously. She looked at him with concern. "What is it?" "There's a rumor... through the clones... that Chancellor Palpatine had a plan for Anakin. I think he meant to take him as his apprentice. If that's true... he could be far more dangerous than we thought." "Rex, he's not lost to the light. He's afraid of something, but he won't tell me what." She said, trying to reassure him. "Maybe he's afraid of the wrath, from the chancellor?" He suggested. Artoo beeped suddenly and she looked down at him. "You'd better go, before Anakin finds you here." She said. "May the force be with you... both..." he said, running back up into the Twilight and starting the engines. She stood there long after he disappeared from sight. Her head reeling with everything he'd said. She patted Artoo on his dome top and crouched down to his level. "Hey buddy," she said with a smile. He beeped happily in response. "It's good to see you too. Listen, Artoo, I would never ask you to betray Anakin's trust, but I need your help. If we're going to save him so he can go home, I need to know what happened to him. I need to know his past. I'm hoping, you can convince him to tell me." He beeped at her sadly. "I know." She whispered in response. "I'm sorry it's come to this too. Come on, let's get to the camp before he wakes up and finds me gone." Anakin was understandably angry to find out that a ship had come and gone. But she had noticed he seemed grateful Artoo was there. She was a little jealous that he was happier about the droid than everything she'd been trying to help him with. Artoo had tried to convince him to tell her, but he stubbornly refused. She even caught him telling it that she would never understand. It had taken all her willpower to not give away that she'd overheard some of their conversation. She'd made sure that Artoo understood that he could not know about Padmé yet. Mainly because she suspected that was one of the biggest pieces of the secret. If only he realized she already knew the truth and was waiting to hear it from him. He tried to convince the droid to send out a communication but she'd already had Rex remove his transmitter chip for the time being. She left them for awhile to go meditate at the falls she'd found awhile back.. Artoo had decided to come with her. She welcomed his company and enjoyed listening to him beep and whir. It brought back better memories than what was happening here. Something the droid said while they were away bothered her deeply however. That Anakin had become distant even with it, threatening to wipe its memory. But more than that, it had said that it 'felt' something wrong with him. Droids, especially Artoo, tended to use language similar to the beings that controlled them. So it wasn't all that strange that Artoo would refer to feeling as though it were possible for him to. "Have you scanned him since you've been here?" She asked suddenly. Wondering if it was possible for there to be a chip that had been planted in him, like Rex had said about the clones. Artoo beeped an affirmation. "Show me the report." She said. Artoo projected a readout for her. She studied it carefully. Nothing seemed off that she could tell. At least there didn't seem to be any foreign objects in his body. That was good. But it didn't explain his moodiness. "Is he telling you all my secrets?" She started in surprise and looked up to see Anakin leaning against a tree. "No." She said truthfully. Not even the bioscan he'd just shown her told her anything useful. He watched her for a moment and she bit her lip. Every day out here like this, killed her a little more. She hated that everything they'd shared had led to this. "Why are you keeping me here?" He asked with annoyance. "I told you, I want to the truth. I want to understand." "Why is it so important to you?" "Because I care and I want to help you." She said simply. "I told you, there's no way to help me now." "Do you really believe that?" "Yes." He did. She could feel it. "Well then, I guess we are just wasting time then." She sighed and looked away. "I could get used to living here." "I can't go back to being a Jedi." He said darkly. "That makes two of us." She whispered. "What do you mean?" He sounded curious now. It was a welcome change from the anger and frustration. "Well, I abandoned my post to return to Coruscant in order to save someone I was too attached too." She said calmly, almost indifferent. "And I did it with the knowledge that I was abandoning thousands of innocents to death." She wasn't proud of it. But she'd done what she believed she had to. "If there was ever a hope the Jedi order would take me back... it's gone now." Artoo beeped something meant to comfort her and she smiled sadly at the droid. "The thing is, since I left the order, I've learned things aren't black and white. I used to think that force sensitives could only be a Jedi or a Sith. But there's many paths to walk. I used to think that leaving the Jedi meant turning to the dark side. And maybe I've turned a blind eye to some questionable things, but I don't feel dark. I've learned this war was bigger than the republic versus the separatists. Even bigger than Jedi versus Sith. Or even good versus evil. Because really, what's right is a point of view. I think there are certain things that will always be questionable, but in the grand scheme of things; what one person thinks is right, another person probably disagrees. And it kind of makes sense that the world is like that. We're all different, we all have vastly different life experiences. Why should we all believe the same things?" She didn't really know if, or care if she was touching on anything that he was struggling with. But it felt good to talk again. Even if it was somewhat forced. She looked up at him wondering if he was actually thinking about what she said. She knew she wasn't on the right track with his current situation, but sometimes, you had to start somewhere. He was standing with his legs slightly apart and his hands clasped behind his back. That was a good sign, that was his thoughtful pose. He was quiet for a long time. Should she keep going to fill the silence or wait for him to talk? "The Jedi betrayed the republic." He said adamantly. She bit her tongue so she didn't argue. She'd just said it was okay to have different points of view. "Then they should face trial." She said instead. He looked momentarily off guard that she didn't defend them. "No one person should cast judgement. That is the job of the senate." "I was acting on behalf of the senate." He said. "The senate or the chancellor?" She asked, finally feeling like they were getting somewhere. "They're the same thing." He said defensively. She raised her brow at him. "Actually, they're not. The chancellor is one man, elected to a position of authority meant to represent the wishes of the people. The senate are a group of individuals with different needs casting their opinions around, with the goal of representing their respective people. You hang out with Senator Amidala all the time, I can't believe I have to tell you this." She rolled her eyes, trying to break the tension. He'd frozen completely when she mentioned Padmé. All color drained from his face. "I want off this rock, now!" He hissed. "And here I thought we were finally getting somewhere." She sighed, standing up. "I'm afraid I can't do that. Because you're still not telling me the truth. And until you decide to stop killing people, we're both stuck here." "What the kriff, Ahsoka?" He yelled. "Are you enjoying this?" "Well... I like being with you again, but am enjoying watching you breathe anger and hate? The answer is no." Artoo beeped something about not liking them arguing. "You don't have to do this, you know!" He said, ignoring the droid. "Actually I do." She said snippily. "And someday you'll thank me for it." She stormed past him but he grabbed her arm. "What is the matter with you?" He demanded, eyes burning again. But not gold, she noticed. She looked up at him feeling almost like her old rebellious self. "I should ask you the same question!" She snapped. To her surprise, he let her go. "I did what I had to do. You'll never understand." He whispered furiously. "Here's a thought, how about instead of you telling me I won't understand, you actually give me a chance to!" She cried out, puffing herself up. "Chancellor Palpatine offered me a way to save my wife!" He spat out and then clapped his hands over his mouth. She set her hand on his arm and he looked at her terrified. "And you making me stay here is keeping me from doing that." "Padmé is safe." She said quietly. His eyes widened in shock and confusion. "How do you know?" He stammered. "I've known you loved her since the beginning. You didn't hide it very well. But I know she's safe because I'm the one that got her off Coruscant." She admitted. "But my nightmares could still happen!" He said worriedly. "Nope." She said. "Padmé told me about them. I took her to a doctor, she got a clean bill of health." "And the baby?" He breathed, trembling. "Twins. And they're both healthy." She said. "Artoo, would you be so kind?" She asked, patting the droid. He projected a video of Padmé holding the twins in her arms. Anakin reached out to try and touch the hologram, she felt the anger fade from him, giving away to joy and longing. "She's safe. They're safe. But how? The nightmares were just like the ones I had about my mother before she died and those did come true." He sounded broken again. "I've been thinking about that... when I had my vision about her being in danger at the conference on Alderaan, I went to master Yoda for advice. He told me first, to meditate on it more. And then he said that the future is always in motion. And that there are many possible futures. I didn't understand at first, I didn't trust myself to be able to protect her. But then instinct took over and I knew what to do. Tell me, Anakin. Did Chancellor Palpatine know about you and Padmé or your dreams about your mother?" "Yes." He said quietly. "I think that he was using you. There have been rumors that he was working for years to groom you to be his new apprentice for after you killed Dooku. If he knew about the visions you had about your mother, it's possible he gave you the visions about Padmé." She said. "Is that even possible?" He asked breathlessly. "You had a vision and you went to him, what did he say to you?" "He told me about a Sith Lord named Darth Plagueis who had learned how to save people from death." "That didn't bother you? That he had an instant answer, Sith answer no less, for how to save her?" "It was a little weird," he admitted. "But I'd tried to ask Master Yoda first and he just told me to rejoice for their death because they become one with the force." "Likely that's because you didn't tell him the whole truth." She said. "It's hard to advise people when you don't know the whole story. Think about it, Anakin. It's kind of convenient that you have a vision about something you fear and then he gives you a magical solution to it if you do what? Join him?" "He ruined my life! I trusted him!" He was angry again. But for once it wasn't directed at her. "Come on." She said, taking his arm and pulling him in the direction of the drop zone. "I think you're ready." She pushed the buttons on her commlink to let Rex know to come get them. "Ready for what?" He asked, stumbling a little. "To try again." Was all she said in response.

[inkognito97]

Youngster III

Sequel to 'Youngster II' Summary: A newly Knighted Sith Warrior learns what it means to take care of somebody...

With a soft and happy look did Sith Lord Qui-Gon Jinn watch how his former apprentice was walking in front of his Padawan. A part of Qui-Gon couldn’t believe what he was seeing. One moment he had taken the young and dirty orphan under his wing and in the next moment the young orphan child had turned into a full Knight of the Dark Side. The pup had become a wolf, who himself had now a new pup running after him, another member for their steadily growing pack. Fondly Qui-Gon watched how Obi-Wan, who looked very regal without his Padawan braid and with a Jedi robe, stopped walking and turned to call for a certain blonde whirlwind, who stopped what he was examining to came running towards the ginger haired man.

“They are a good match,” Dooku stated next to him.

“Indeed, the Force itself has created their bond, it was simply meant to happen.” And thanks to the Force it had all ended well. The Council had deemed Obi-Wan ready to become a Knight, since he singlehandedly defeated a Sith, and they even allowed him to train Anakin Skywalker. It had taken a lot of hours and some frustration on both sides, but in the end the Council had realised that a bond had already formed between Obi-Wan and Anakin and no Jedi was keen on breaking this bond, it was simply something they would not do.

And wasn’t it just ironic that the Sith trial would also count as the Jedi trial? If asked, Qui-Gon would find it highly amusing and he knew that Dooku did too. Only Obi-Wan had shrugged, but then again, his mind was on other matters, or rather on another person, namely the Padawan, who was asking him thousands of questions all at once. The three of them had silently agreed that Anakin was to be trained as a Jedi. Obi-Wan had outright refused to train the boy to become a Sith, arguing that the boy’s greatest dream was to be a Jedi. Dooku had disagreed with him and Qui-Gon, he had taken his former apprentice’s side. He owed him at least that much.

An aggravated sigh brought the long haired man out of his musing and he focused enough to realize that Obi-Wan was standing to his right. Anakin was running ahead, only Force knows what had caught his attention now.

“Please tell me that I was not like this,” Obi-Wan pleaded his former Master.

Dooku and Qui-Gon chuckled. “Don’t worry,” the taller man finally said and he rested a hand on the ginger haired Sith’s shoulder, “you were always a good apprentice... even though you had the tendency to seek out trouble.”

“I did no such thing,” the freshly made Sith Knight replied, his eyes never leaving Anakin’s form, “trouble just had the tendency to find me.”

“I don’t see the difference,” Qui-Gon retorted cheekily, which earned him a mock glare from his young charge. Right this moment, a crash sounded somewhere before them and three pairs of eyes landed on a certain boy, who stood before the sad remains of a sculpture. Unfortunately the three Sith were not the only ones in the hall and angry eyes as well as partly hidden insults rained down on the poor boy, who looked absolutely miserable.

“Apparently I am not the only one,” the ginger haired male replied to the two older males, before turning away from them. “Anakin,” Obi-Wan called out and he took one step forward, shrugging of the taller man’s hand that had still rested on his shoulder. Blue eyes that were glittering with unshed teats settled on his Master’s form.

Qui-Gon’s heart broke and he was about to rebuke all those so-called ‘Jedi Masters’, who scolded a bright boy for such a stupid little accident. Dooku, who apparently had sensed what his former Padawan was about to do, laid a comforting hand on the younger man’s arm and he silently signalled him to let Obi-Wan handle this one.

“Come here Padawan,” the ginger haired man’s voice was gentle, yet fear kept Anakin from moving. It didn’t need the ability to read another being’s thoughts to know that Anakin was afraid of what his Master might do to him, or rather, if he would have to be punished or if he would even have to leave again. “Come here,” Obi-Wan coaxed again and he kneeled down, opening his arms in a silent invitation.

This time the young Padawan learner did not hesitate. He came running straight back to his Master, almost running over a second sculpture, but not caring. He only stopped when he had literally thrown himself into his young Master’s arms, who immediately engulfed him into a tight embrace.

“I’m so sorry Master,” the boy cried and Qui-Gon saw salty tears run down the former slave’s cheeks. He was undoubtedly terrified and truly sorry. “I didn’t mean to... I just wanted to look...”

“Sh, sh, it’s alright young one,” the words came naturally to Obi-Wan. “I know you didn’t. It’s alright.”

“It most certainly is not,” one of the surrounding Jedi Masters suddenly exclaimed. She was looking down at the kneeling pair and an air of arrogance surrounded her form. “Your Padawan,” the last word was said in a mocking manner, “has to learn discipline and restrain. But clearly we cannot expect such a young and inexperienced Knight to know how to properly train a Padawan.”

Qui-Gon balled his hands into fists and Dooku’s grip on his elbow tightened as well. Nobody insulted their little (grand-) son, especially not somebody as pompous as this so called ‘Jedi Master’. To the two Siths’ surprise, Obi-Wan remained utterlycalm. Instead he stood up to his full height. It was not really impressive, especially not with Dooku and Qui-Gon standing behind him, but he was still hovering over the female Jedi. Anakin was still sobbing into his tunic, face buried in the young Sith’s neck.

“That may be so,” Obi-Wan replied in a calm tone. Qui-Gon gaped openly at those words and even Dooku looked dumbstruck for a moment, but only until the next words came out of the young Sith’s mouth. “But I am rather a young and inexperienced Knight – who has slain a Sith just so you know – than being an old experienced Jedi Master, who apparently has forgotten what it means to be young and reckless and curious about the world. It’s quite sad actually, that you seem to have forgotten the joy of learning and discovering new aspects of life. That you stumble and fall... and sometimes even break things on the way, is just a process of learning. And if you remember this, then maybe, just maybe, I’ll take your critique a little bit more serious. Besides, it is not the Jedi way to be attached to anything or to own such trivial things.”

The humanoid Jedi Master was gaping openly after Obi-Wan had finished his little speech. She reminded Qui-Gon a lot of a stranded fish. At some point during his Master’s speech, Anakin had realized that Obi-Wan would not cast him aside and he would not be punished. He had stopped crying then, even though his face remained buried in the older male’s neck. Obi-Wan’s natural odour and his Force presence were the blonde Padawan’s anchor and he knew he was save and well loved. He had never felt this way with another being – except his mother of course – before.

“Well said, this was,” Yoda’s voice cut. The three Sith turned around in shock, but they were not the only ones, who had not noticed the green troll approaching.

“Indeed,” Mace Windu agreed. He was stepping towards the green Jedi’s right.

Yoda hummed, “Never liked that sculpture, made me look old.” A few Masters, mostly those who had not said a word against Anakin’s accident, chuckled. It was true that the sculpture, a statue of the green and wise Jedi Master, was not well liked. It had once been a gift from a wealthy and very grateful friend of the Order. “Replaced it can be... perhaps by something self-crafted,” the Master’s eyes were sparking strangely and Obi-Wan immediately caught the hidden message.

The green Master was very much aware of his artistic talent, even though Obi-Wan rarely had time for it. It had become something like a hobby, ever since he had accidently taken a class in ‘Art and Crafting’, Qui-Gon had been very pleased.

“It would be my honour, my Master.” The Sith in Jedi disguise replied dutifully and he shot his former Master an amused look that was immediately returned.

Yoda hummed satisfied and he hoppled away with Mace Windu right behind him. The other Masters were slowly getting back to what they had been doing previously as well.

“Master?” Anakin’s small voice broke the comfortable silence.

“Yes my Padawan?”

“Can I... can I help you? Replacing the statue I mean...” Obi-Wan rested his chin on blonde locks.

“Of course you can... I am proud of you for suggesting this on your own.” Obi-Wan replied gently. It was true that he was not really behaving like a proper Jedi Master would, but then again, he wasn’t and Anakin was a special boy as well.

“I am truly sorry...” the boy hastily replied. It seemed as if he hadn’t completely overcome his fear yet.

“I know you are and I know you didn’t mean to destroy it. You just have to learn to be more careful... don’t worry, I’ll teach you how to be. I am going to make you into a great Jedi.” Obi-Wan promised and he slightly pulled away to look into a tear stained face. The young Sith automatically reached up and wiped the stains away with his thumb.

“Thank you,” new tears were already forming, but they didn’t fall this time. Instead, the young child wrapped his arms around his Master’ neck and quickly pecked the older man’s cheek, before hiding his face in the other’s neck again. “Love you Master...”

Obi-Wan’s expression was extremely comically after those three words. His eyes were wide in surprise and he had to blink a few times before he understood what had just transpired. But eventually he had regained his composure again and with a quick kiss on blonde locks and a whispered, “And I love you, young one,” everything was alright again.

Qui-Gon ruefully looked at his son, who had become something like a father himself. He would miss the time they spent together, fully knowing that Anakin would require most of the ginger haired man’s attention and time from now on. Of course that did not mean that he and Dooku would be completely pushed out of the new team’s life, but it still hurt just a little bit. He briefly wondered if Dooku had felt the same way when he had taken on his first Padawan and a quick glance towards the older male told him all he needed to know. Suddenly the long haired Sith could not help himself but to wrap an arm around both his heirs and the other around Dooku’s shoulders, pulling the older man close. With an exaggerated sigh, Dooku succumbed to his fate and joined his line.

They were a family, probably the strangest family in the whole galaxy, but they were content this way. Obi-Wan was very much aware of the ‘burden’ and the responsibilities that had been placed on his shoulders. He was very much aware that there would undoubtedly be countless of sleepless nights, days full of stress and worry, but also days of joy and pride ahead of him. He knew that he would need to be father, brother, mentor, friend, healer and everything else that Anakin needed him to be. It would be a long and hard way, but he was determined and he would not trade his Padawan with anything in the whole galaxy, for he knew that it would be worth everything he would have to face. Even if that meant that he had to remind certain Jedi Masters of their places. Even if that meant that he had to do a few ‘unjedi’ like things to free a certain strong minded woman from slavery and to make sure she was taken care of. Thankfully Padme had agreed to his crazy plan. Anakin would be very pleased... if he would be pleased to hear that he soon had a step-father and step-siblings remained yet to be seen. But at least Shmi Skywalker was freed, that was all that counted to Obi-Wan this moment. And he was sure Anakin would agree.

Meanwhile Dooku was just content with following his own former Padawan’s advice, enjoying the moment and living in the here and now. It was not he, who had taken on a student and it was not HIS apprentice who had taken a step towards adulthood. He had that already behind him, thank you very much. Still, he would be there if Obi-Wan or Qui-Gon needed his help and guidance. That much was clear, to all of them. There was just no way he would abandon his line.

Anakin on the other hand was not bothered by anything right now. He was still not over the shock of being a Padawan, in the middle of his journey to become the best Jedi the galaxy had ever seen. He had promised his mother as much. He was just glad to have a Master as Obi-Wan. He had thought Qui-Gon would become his Master at first, but now he was glad that it was the ginger haired Jedi. He was not as intimidating as the taller male, even though the way he had talked with that mean lady had been very impressive. Burying himself deeper in his Master’s warmth, Anakin was happy to be alive, perhaps for the first time in his relatively short life.

The long haired Sith’s mood was slightly clouded. Despite the rightness Qui-Gon felt for their current situation, he could not help but shake the feeling that something terrible was about to happen in their near future. He could not quite make out what it was, he only knew that it was something dark and he got the feeling that it would break their little family apart, even if it was only temporarily. Needless to say, he did not want this to happen and he swore, then and there, that he would to anything to protect his loved ones and that included the new addition to their family. Anakin might not become a Sith, but he still belonged to Qui-Gon’s line. He was a part of Obi-Wan and therefore a part of the long haired Sith. He knew Dooku thought the same. Still, the feeling remained... but only time could tell what they would have to face. For now however, he wanted to enjoy the present and not dwell too much on the possible future. Because for now he had a former apprentice to take care of, who would need his advice and his helping hand; at least once in a while.

[gffa]

Time to cry about STAR WARS fic? Ha ha, trick question, it’s ALWAYS time to cry about Star Wars fic. This is what life is now. Crying about Star Wars, especially via fic. STAR WARS FIC RECS: ✦ Broken by lilyconrad, obi-wan/anakin & ahsoka & rex & cast, NSFW, sith!obi-wan (sort of), dark themes, 17.5k wip    The Twins are unstoppable enforcers of the Emperor’s will, the sun and moon that hang in the black void of his rule. It is said they are not the same age and that under their hoods they do not look alike, but they fight as one entity, silent and terrible as an eclipse in a spring sky. ✦ Capture and Release by Rocket_Sith, obi-wan/anakin, mild bondage, 19k wip    Anakin’s past comes back to haunt him unexpectedly during a mission. What starts as Obi-Wan’s attempt to help him face his fears takes on a life of its own and evolves into so much more. ✦ Heart of Kyber by Eirian Erisda, obi-wan & cast, 3k    With part of the Open Circle Fleet docked for some much-needed shore leave after a harrowing battle, Obi-Wan gives the rest of the 212th the slip and wanders planetside alone. ✦ The Cry of the Fallen Jedi by crowleyshouseplant, ahsoka/barriss, 5.1k    Barriss looks for Ahsoka after she disappears into the Sith Temple. ✦ untitled by fireflyfish, obi-wan & anakin & cast, ~1k    Prompt: Number 6 their vices with Obi Wan please ✦ tap, tap, tapping on the glass by skymurdock, obi-wan/anakin, modern au, ~1k    .so while I am screaming at this big bang (what do you mean you don’t want to move come the fuck on you got this far) here is a small destressing thing based off of Just Like Heaven. ✦ The Light You Leave Behind by laventadorn, obi-wan/anakin & anakin/padme & ahsoka & bail & asajj & cast, 28.6k wip    Ahsoka has left the Jedi Order, and Anakin is haunted by the last words he spoke to her on the steps of the Temple: “I understand, more than you know, wanting to leave the Order.” ✦ He Watched by temple_mistress, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 22.1k    Obi-Wan secretly watches Anakin in lightsaber practice. Anakin is not having any of it. At all. ✦ Temple History by sanerontheinside, obi-wan & anakin, 1.4k    There was no way his Master wouldn’t see that bruise, and so now Anakin was hiding. ✦ Sofa, So Good by Smitty, obi-wan & anakin, 10.9k    Why would anyone want Obi-Wan’s grody old couch? ✦ The Curious Feeling of Falling by Eirian Erisdar, obi-wan & anakin & qui-gon & cast, 2.6k    There is a common misconception that Obi-Wan Kenobi has never felt the pull of the darkness. ✦ A Falcon in the Dive by Eirian Erisdar, obi-wan & cast, 1.8k    A dive is so very different from a fall. Obi-Wan dives into the unknown. From the Temple gardens to Naboo, Mandalore to Utapau, and in the Unifying Force to another Falcon altogether. ✦ untitled by stonefreeak, obi-wan & yoda & mace & cast, ~1k    “Disturbing, these findings are.” Master Yoda’s ears droop slightly, as his clawed hand gently lays the datapad he held back on the table. ✦ Meet the Skywalkers by frodogenic, anakin & piett & luke/mara & han/leia & jacen & jaina & anakin solo, 34.8k wip    Newly returned from the Unknown Regions with Darth Vader, Admiral Piett doesn’t expect much of a welcome from the New Republic. And not in a million lifetimes would he have predicted that their very first guest would be Luke Skywalker. After all, Vader is still his mortal enemy…right? ✦ untitled by stonefreeak, obi-wan & cast, ~1k    Obi-Wan is tired. So, so, tired. He rubs a hand over his tired eyes, wanting nothing more than to go to sleep and not wake up until the war is over. full details + recs under the cut!

✦ Broken by lilyconrad, obi-wan/anakin & ahsoka & rex & cast, NSFW, sith!obi-wan (sort of), dark themes, 17.5k wip    The Twins are unstoppable enforcers of the Emperor’s will, the sun and moon that hang in the black void of his rule. It is said they are not the same age and that under their hoods they do not look alike, but they fight as one entity, silent and terrible as an eclipse in a spring sky.    Chapter 4: This is an update rec and will focus on this chapter, rather than the fic as a whole. This fic continues to break my heart, but also utterly engross me–it’s still not a happy fic, it’s almost assuredly never going to be a happy fic, you gotta roll with that when you start it, but it’s well-told and has this really sharp edge to everything, it doesn’t try to oversell what’s happened, but instead lets the horror of all of this breathe, lets what happened with Obi-Wan and Anakin have the room to settle and is almost understated, so much is unknown, but it still carries the weight of just how awful it is. This is one of those chapters that really hit me with how much has been lost between these two, how much of who they were is just gone, even if bits and tattered pieces remain somewhere long buried, it only hurts more because they can never really fully come back from this, it can’t be undone. Seeing the reactions from Ahsoka and Rex, the interaction Dooku has with both of them, drives home just how little is even there anymore, even when they’re set off by something or other. They’re truly feral here and the final scene of the chapter has this incredible frantic energy without trying too hard, I just felt the chaos and sheer intensity of it! But, really, my favorite thing about this fic is how it takes the bond between Obi-Wan and Anakin and twists it to something so much more desperate and dark, the one thing they have when all other lights go out for them, the one thing they hold onto when everything else must have been pain. I loved seeing them through Dooku’s eyes, the way it was such a waste of who they’d been, that the fic does such a lovely job of showing how terrifying The Twins are while still making the audience sad for how much was lost to get them there. It’s dark, but it’s so good for me. ✦ Capture and Release by Rocket_Sith, obi-wan/anakin, mild bondage, 19k wip    Anakin’s past comes back to haunt him unexpectedly during a mission. What starts as Obi-Wan’s attempt to help him face his fears takes on a life of its own and evolves into so much more.    Chapter 6: This is an update rec and will focus on this chapter, rather than the fic as a whole. There is a whole lot of talking in this chapter, which I can see why it was being difficult, because it’s a lot of hard stuff to articulate, especially for characters who aren’t sure they’re on the same page and the stakes feel very high (because everything feels very high for Anakin Skywalker), but it’s also this really warm, not quite fluffy, but certainly softer scene between them, where they’ve worked hard to get to this point and it finally allows a bit more breathing room for what they need to talk about. The sense of how long it takes to pull the words out of Anakin, how he wants to spill everything everywhere, but is also so terribly afraid, the way the restraints have come to mean something safe and comforting to him through association, all of it just left me tearing through the chapter and feeling really content with the characters afterward. It was something much softer than they all too often have and it was lovely for that. ✦ Heart of Kyber by Eirian Erisda, obi-wan & cast, 3k    With part of the Open Circle Fleet docked for some much-needed shore leave after a harrowing battle, Obi-Wan gives the rest of the 212th the slip and wanders planetside alone.    I can’t tell you how much I just quietly fell in love with this fic, how it gets the balance of Obi-Wan’s character down so very well–how entirely Extra he is about slipping away from the Jedi Cruiser, how casual he is about it and the mild chaos he knows he’s going to leave in his wake, how it’s fine, and yet how he’s also a man weighed down by the war and being a Jedi with his face plastered all over the HoloNet sometimes. It’s a nicely sharp fic about Obi-Wan trying to regain a bit of anonymity and how well that does/doesn’t go, a lovely look at the everyday people’s reactions to the Jedi who are fighting for them and how Obi-Wan feels about it all, plus a really just pitch-perfect satisfying ending. I loved this for the characterization, but also because it hit my id in just exactly the right ways. ✦ The Cry of the Fallen Jedi by crowleyshouseplant, ahsoka/barriss, 5.1k    Barriss looks for Ahsoka after she disappears into the Sith Temple.    Oh, this was a really lovely story about Barriss looking for Ahsoka after the end of season two of Rebels, all the history between them that you felt looming in the background, the almost gentle tone of this, even among such terrible events, the guilt and pain Barriss still carried with her, the depth of her sorrow and what she owed Ahsoka, all of it was very pretty and very heartbreaking and very lovely a read. ✦ untitled by fireflyfish, obi-wan & anakin & cast, ~1k    Prompt: Number 6 their vices with Obi Wan please    This isn’t really precisely fic, but more a series of headcanons written in a style very much like a fic, which I’m always weak to! And I liked this piece for how it’s about the things Obi-Wan likes and about the characterization underneath that, what a person’s vices says about them and the life they live, as well as how, even amongst all these people that Obi-Wan cares about, there’s that certain focus on Anakin, how much Obi-Wan loves him. It’s a lovely piece that I enjoyed this take on Obi-Wan! ✦ tap, tap, tapping on the glass by skymurdock, obi-wan/anakin, modern au, ~1k    .so while I am screaming at this big bang (what do you mean you don’t want to move come the fuck on you got this far) here is a small destressing thing based off of Just Like Heaven.    Oh, no, I wanted so much more of this one, ahhhh, I would have read a full 30k of this AU, where Anakin’s ghost-of-sorts is haunting his apartment and runs into his ex Obi-Wan, who is subletting the apartment. It’s a short thing but it’s so much fun and already has plenty to get me engaged with it and some great “what the utter fuck” as the characters realize the situation they’re in. Utterly delightful! ✦ The Light You Leave Behind by laventadorn, obi-wan/anakin & anakin/padme & ahsoka & bail & asajj & cast, 28.6k wip    Ahsoka has left the Jedi Order, and Anakin is haunted by the last words he spoke to her on the steps of the Temple: “I understand, more than you know, wanting to leave the Order.”    Chapters 5-6: I already loved this fic and what it was doing and what it was trying to do with the terrible situation the prequels characters found themselves in with the war. But after chapters 5 and 6, I’m even more in love, because it’s so considering of everyone’s points of view and how easy it is to lose track of yourself, to make one side or the other the enemy, when they’ve been a friend to you for a long time. The nuance, care, and delicate consideration in these chapters just had me over the moon, because it felt so much more real and impactful and full of depth, that it’s easy to sometimes want to blame the Jedi for things that are much more complicated than they first appear and yet without losing the warmth and compassion of Padme’s character, how very, very much she feels things and cares. I read these chapters with such with so much emotional engagement because of that, they’re so good and sharp for that. But this fic is also very much on top of things with the relationships between the characters, especially the strain between Obi-Wan and Anakin, as it’s obvious what’s coming or at least looming on the horizon with Anakin and how of course Obi-Wan sees it, but there are so many other things that are pressing on them for time and getting in the way. My fannish heart was completely wrapped up in everything between them, how painful it was in just the right ways and how much I felt for both of them. This is one of the fics I most look forward to whenever it updates, but I also entirely recommend reading it now if you can stand wips, because there’s some great stuff already put down! ✦ He Watched by temple_mistress, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 22.1k    Obi-Wan secretly watches Anakin in lightsaber practice. Anakin is not having any of it. At all.    This is one of those fics that I suspect you have to be in a certain mood to read, it’s very softened edges and big, dramatic confrontations and love confessions, it’s one of those fics you read when you want something kinder and sappier to read for these characters because you’re tired of getting your heart broken by canon or more wrenching fics, and I greatly enjoyed it for doing exactly what it wanted to do, giving me something that was all about their relationship and then nicely satisfying porn. Because, oh my god, Anakin just being so hungry for getting up on Obi-Wan’s cock and riding him until he screamed his Master’s name was exactly what I wanted, that he was so beautiful while wrapped up in the throes of it, that he was this incredible tight heat and clenching muscles as he rose and fell on Obi-Wan, that this was all he seemed to want in the world, to have his Master finally in him and their spirits connected, it soothed my heart and soul. If you’re looking for something with their sharp edges and heavy weight to everything, this isn’t it, this is something fluffier and happier, even in its angsty moments, you know it’s going to work out, the characters are much softer and emotionally open (well, okay, Anakin is always spilling his feelings everywhere, let’s be honest), and it’s for when you just need them to be all sappy in love and to roll around in that for awhile and then read some very nice sex of Anakin wanting nothing more than to sit on Obi-Wan’s cock for like the rest of his life. And I enjoyed it for exactly that, that it was just the right length for what it was doing, and it was entirely kind-hearted and warm! ✦ Temple History by sanerontheinside, obi-wan & anakin, 1.4k    There was no way his Master wouldn’t see that bruise, and so now Anakin was hiding.    Oh, this was a lovely look at Anakin’s younger years, trying to fit in and struggling with it, especially because it’s not preachy or unbalanced, but instead this really warm-hearted, kind look at a tough situation and how these characters dealt with it. Moppet Anakin is adorable and I felt so much for him, loved him so much, but, ahhh, the moments between him and Obi-Wan, the way a Master looks after a Padawan, just had me utterly melting at how perfect and good this was. ✦ Sofa, So Good by Smitty, obi-wan & anakin, 10.9k    Why would anyone want Obi-Wan’s grody old couch?    You may want to read The House That Obi-Wan Built first, but all you really need to know is that Obi-Wan decided to train Anakin on Malastare because he needed something different and they’ve started sprucing up the place they got. I also had to reformat this fic to get it into readable shape (but it was just a find & replace job), which I mention to encourage others through that because, oh, every moment of this was joy. The author does an absolutely fantastic job with their dynamic, that older brother and younger brother dynamic that works so well for them here, BUT ALSO that Obi-Wan is an absolute shit cook and he’s kind of a dick sometimes in that way older brothers are, especially when responsible for their brother’s training, but it’s always done with love, and it’s so sharp and engaging and fits the characters, especially for something that was posted in 1999! But then I’ve always liked anything by Smitty and this fic really holds up, it’s absolutely charming and sharp and was an incredible bright spot in my reading this week, which was already pretty great. ✦ The Curious Feeling of Falling by Eirian Erisdar, obi-wan & anakin & qui-gon & cast, 2.6k    There is a common misconception that Obi-Wan Kenobi has never felt the pull of the darkness.    This is a lovely bird’s eye view of Obi-Wan Kenobi’s life, the pull he’s felt towards darkeness and the strength of his character that’s required to pull away from it, that it’s never been easy for him. It’s told in snippets, from when he was still just an infant to his time as a Padawan to his time as Anakin’s Master to Tatooine, the anger that has followed him all his life and how he’s risen above it, in ways that are rarely easy. It’s a bittersweet look at the character in exactly the way I was looking for. ✦ A Falcon in the Dive by Eirian Erisdar, obi-wan & cast, 1.8k    A dive is so very different from a fall. Obi-Wan dives into the unknown. From the Temple gardens to Naboo, Mandalore to Utapau, and in the Unifying Force to another Falcon altogether.    A bittersweet and painful look at the greater scope of Obi-Wan Kenobi’s life, from when he was young to the final days of his life, told through snippets and themed with a falcon in a dive. The metaphor worked very well for me, but also the fic captured that sense of how much good there is in Star Wars, but also how much sadness and loss and how much heartache it causes me. It’s not a long fic, but it was just the right length to accomplish what it wanted to do. ✦ untitled by stonefreeak, obi-wan & yoda & mace & cast, ~1k    “Disturbing, these findings are.” Master Yoda’s ears droop slightly, as his clawed hand gently lays the datapad he held back on the table.    This is part of a larger story universe, which I think should be read in order for this part to make sense! Another shorter addition to the Supreme Chancellor!Obi-Wan universe and I really enjoyed it because it’s another one that shows how delicate the whole situation is, that even when the Jedi finally have more room to actually do something, they have to move so very carefully and they’re trying to juggle all these factors and trying to do what’s best in the situation and it’s just really not easy. But it’s also so satisfying to see some of the bad things starting to be exposed and how you can feel shit’s going to hit the fan pretty soon. ✦ Meet the Skywalkers by frodogenic, anakin & piett & luke/mara & han/leia & jacen & jaina & anakin solo, 34.8k wip    Newly returned from the Unknown Regions with Darth Vader, Admiral Piett doesn’t expect much of a welcome from the New Republic. And not in a million lifetimes would he have predicted that their very first guest would be Luke Skywalker. After all, Vader is still his mortal enemy…right?    Chapters 9-10: This is an update rec and thus will focus on this chapter, rather than the fic as a whole. Two more chapters of this fic that’s super fun and delightful, for Anakin’s family just totally and utterly ruining his cool, while still obviously caring very much about him. I mean, he’s still Darth Vader, he’s still pretty terrifying, but his grandkids and his son are still Skywalkers and still can never quite be properly cowed or not pipe up with their thoughts. I especially enjoyed seeing Luke again, though, there was some interesting almost plotful stuff with Piett and what to do with the Executor now that they’re moving ahead with rejoining the galaxy and some nicely light-hearted moments with all the cast. ✦ untitled by stonefreeak, obi-wan & cast, ~1k    Obi-Wan is tired. So, so, tired. He rubs a hand over his tired eyes, wanting nothing more than to go to sleep and not wake up until the war is over.    This was short, not even quite 500 words, but I really enjoyed it, as a way of showing how Obi-Wan is distant from the war and how difficult that is, but he does what he can, how it affects the way he strategizes, and just how much he’s handling at once. I really do enjoy this AU so much and this was a lovely addition to it!