#she'll steal your jokes bro
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Can you please do the sees girls being on their period and their male s/o trying to help them and comfort them but he has barely any clue what do do?
S.E.E.S girls x M! Reader
Imagine being on your period and your boyfriends in shambles
N: what if I looked you right in the eyes and told u I've been listening to tricot so much it's beaten Raise A Sulien on my spotify board. LISTEN TO TOKYO VAMPIRE HOTEL RAAAAA
Warnings: Mentions of blood/bleeding,
Nothing can go wrong! One cramp it's over. Totally wiped, Terror shock, smackdown, crit hit she's down. She's gonna turn into Minato real quick
"Urrgghhhhhhh" "you alright" "Nooooo" she whines arching her back "can you try sitting down somewhere" "there's no seats" "you can lean on me then" solver of all problems despite being the most confused man on earth y/n!! The one person from keeping her from stealing Minatos eyebags and overall tiredness
You'd try to take her to the mail to cheer her up, mention karaoke opening up and she's able to run over in milisecounds. "I heard your call" "did you here this a discount because of the anniversary" she'd get so excited she ran to the wrong direction
You'd also buy her gifts during this time, specially the jack bro claw machine gifts and new music that comes out
You pamper her so much she'd tease you on it. "My humble servent!" "Yes?" "Bring me thy homework! Filled with thy answers" "we can do it together" "what a great suggestion" there would be times she'd ask for piggy back rides in public aswell and people would catch you zomming around with her on your back shounting like she were on a roller coaster
She'd get a bit bratty, apologizing for it later. "It's so embrassing I'm sorry you put up with it" "it's fine don't worry about it" she growns knowing she's probably going to act similarly next time.
You'd hear her express more often than she usually does, which is terrifying, she groan alot, huff, squint more, yea just don't get her frustrated or catch her after the average conversation with jinpei. "HES JUST SO UGGHHH" "I'm sure he didn't mean it" "he won't shut up he's so lucky you're here" you already imagine her arguing with him and him responding with "holy yapington!"
The type to hide under the blanket and poke out if you bring snacks. "I brought you snacks yukari" you place them on the mattress and watch them being taken in secounds "...oh that was...somethin" don't let your intrusive thoughts win though, once you put your hand there you're being dragged under with her near instantly.
She'd trip a bit more often. Would lean on you alot if she's fallen alot that day. "Sorry just a bit dizzy" "don't worry about it, not like the floor isn't used to it by now" her face changes to a disapointed frown, you apologize near instantly
She'd hit you with the classic. "Hey, would you give me the whole world if you could?" You pause knowing the trick question. You try to withhold your sweat as you hold her hand. "Not just this world but the whole universe." "y/n..." she smiles, embracing you. "You're so sweet" now just avoiding every question like this or answer with the most crazy thing and she won't hit you with a "so other planets belong to other women?" These are mostly jokes tho but she'll act like she holds a grudge
Won't let it show until it has a kick to it (enough to have someone start leaning on stuff) she believes she can handle it as usual but this one...eh not so much, of course you wouldn't know much either until she straight up told you she felt weak
So when you convince her to take the day off you get everything for her from class. "Even though she was on her period she mustn't slack" was probably what she would say, she'd try to attend school but if she couldnt you'd be the first person she told
She gets you to do her daily activities for her and honestly props to you. You'd attended student council in her place, ask her classmates for notes, stop by a market or two if she asked. "I'm sorry if I'm bombarding you with these tasks" "it's fine.." you'd probably wonder why you got so used to writing in two notebooks a little too quickly
She would go to tartarus in this and just be like "I got it" she indeed did not have it. She'd come back to the dorm totally wiped but she'd try to keep the "I'm fine" act going and then as soon as she gets in bed she's knocked out. She doesn't even tie up her hair which is where you come in, the routine saver!! "I can't thank you enough" "don't worry at all about it"
She'd also get pretty clingy on her period, you're casually seeing her vulnerable you're not going to leave just yet. "Don't go" "?" She looks blankly at the foot of her bed, you sit down with her "how long would you like me to stay" "...." her cheeks turn a bit pink "until I feel better" getting to see her flustered gets your mouth to tease into a smile. "I can do that" she'd definitely think about it when her periods over and just regret every action, yet wouldn't mind asking you every once in a while
You gotta have that dawg in you to date fuuka/ref and a bit of inferrance skill
She would try to not let it show as it would drag others down but she can't really hide it well around you. "Here" you hand her a pad "I thought it hid it well this time" she pounts a bit disapointed "you can't really hide how you get a bit paler when this happens, do you want me to make something" "you don't have to..." "I'll make you that thing youve been wanting me to try" she narrows her eyes "tough offer"
If she did go to school with you, Yukari would comment on how low on energy Fuuka seemed to be. "She looks kinda down" "yea I've been trying to cheer her up a bit but nothings really working" Yukari narrows her eyes at you "you didn't happen to upset her did you" you scratch your head "no she's just on her period maybe sweets or something" She'd be so embrassed if you brought up the time she thought you upset Fuuka, and then see you come in with those Japanese gummy foods to make with her.
You try to tuck her in and make sure she has as much rest as possible, she might resist because of s.e.e.s but you being blissfully unaware just say "im sure they'll understand you can't go today, they're just a club" she would toss and turn thinking of shadows ending up with asking you to stay with her because she couldn't sleep
Unrested Fuuka and she's on her period? You don't need just the dawg you need god. "I feel like I'm letting everyone down.." "they know you need to rest Fuuka it's alright" she grips at your shoulders. "Yea but I still feel horrible for it" "Fuuka how about this I'll bring you notes and your homework and we can do it together" she sighs "then I'll drag you down!" She tears up, noticing this you hug her. "Fuuka, we're in the same class if anything I'm just being a mail man, you won't drag anyone down if you're willing enough to keep up so you don't have to ask many questions when you get back" she lossens her grip on you looking up to see your face "really?" "Really"
Im...you think her blood streams oil? She'd probably compare a period to a malfunction or just feeling aggressively glum for a week
"Y/n I don't know why but I feel so fatigued" "did anything happen?" "No, not that I'm aware of" "must be your version of a period" you shrug your shoulders not even sure if that's even right. "I'll see what I can do" you had no dang clue so you just decided to tuck her in bringing a stuffed animal just incase
She'd law down super awkwardly just full on still. "Do you think my limbs will get caught in this blanket?" "Should I replace it?" "No it's quite comfortable"
She'd also get a bit clumsy, which is horrible when tests come along. "I seem to have put the wrong choice despite knowing the correct answer" "that happens to all of us" you sigh reminding yourself of all the times you put the wrong answer to find out later the correct one. So asking to study is critical even if she still dosent know the material she has spirit!
She would come to school, this doesn't stop her from staring down at you as soon as class was over, just scarier. "You gotta stop doing that" you shiver after the 9th jumpsca re this year alone. "I'd like to take you to your next class" "thank you Aigis please don't do this to wake me up" "I think it would be effective" "effective in giving me nightmares" thank god those jumpscares only happen for a few days
#x reader#fluff#persona 3 reload#persona 3 x reader#persona 3#p3 reload#yukari takeba#persona 3 fuuka#p3 x reader#kotone shiomi#fuuka yamagishi#p3 fuuka#mitsuru kirijo#p3 mitsuru#aigis#p3 aigis#aigis persona 3#male reader
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aot fluff HC's
part 1 of 3
includes male and female characters +hange
warnings: nothing
enjoy!
Eren
-defo clingy.
-has your shirt on one of his pillows as a pillowcase
-smells the everloving heck out of his shirtpillow
-will spray your perfume or cologne on him or his hoodie
-has a stuffed animal named after you
-will flaunt the stuffed animal
-very protective
-willing to do anything for you no matter how absurd (cough cough chapter 112)
-steals your pillows when you're gone
-gets jealous and a little insecure
-but will just cuddle you for reassurance that you're his and his only
-cried during alladin and thought that jasmine was attractive but not as attractive as you
-doesnt know how to act whn you cry so he awkwardly pats your back or just stares at you because he doesnt know how to help
-eardrum blowing sneezes. (same bro)
Mikasa
-protective af
-loves small acts of pda but is a little confused when she has to do it back
-ex: butterfly kisses, hand holding, head leaning, quick kisses on the mouth
-will randomly appear after small inconvience
-you tripped? shes there. you bit your cheek? shes there. you have a hangnail? shes there.
-if youve seen the AOT special then you know shes gonna blush when you do, and she'll blush hard(maybe)
-shes the person who will wear socks 24/7 and so if you get you and her matching socks she will literally explode of happiness
-has a soft spot for u armin and eren only
-cried during mulan
-kitten sneeze
(not a lot for her because even though i love her i dont have many hcs about her!!)
Armin
-#1 hand holder
-ive said it before and i'll say it again, he tells dad jokes to you on the daily and if you don't laugh he will just laugh to himself (you better laugh or i will find you)
-lightsleeper n light snorer
-loves when yo play with his hair fs
-when he takes you on study dates to the library, he will be reading you every book he likes just to see if you like any
-will read books to you
-if you're the type to put random accessories on him, he will be very embarrassed but then allow the buffoonery to begin.
-whispers kind nothings to you to get u to go back to sleep when he accidentally wakes you up while tryng to get up and go do smth
-cried during moana.
-was crying during moana going rogue because he was scared for her also cried when Maui left moana
-average sneeze
Hange
(my love!!)
-loves showing you their experiments
-hugs from behind.
-ask them about titans. they'll explode of happiness and start literally talking about them at the speed of an auctioneer.
-also loves when you help them with experiments, but makes sure you're covered in safety gear.
-forehead kisses
-cried during meet the robinsons and big hero 6
-loves gogos costume
-loves honey lemons purse
-baymax.
-loves blankets. like it'll be 110 deg. outside and they'll be wearing a blanket
-another eardum blowing sneezer
Sasha
-i know damn well she will jumpscare you or just hide in the corner of a dark room to scare you.
-cuddles? shes little spoon
-hugs? she melts into your touch
-food? she praises you if you can cook
-hotel? trivago.
-she sleepwalks and sleep talks so dont be surpised if you wake up to her standing in the kitchen talking to a piece of meat about how she loves you, all while still sleeping.
-she throws potatoes at you from across the room and then tells you to throw them back.
-if she's feeling generous she'll share a little bit of her food
-she cried during lyle lyle fucking crocodile. i know this isnt disney but i know she would watch it.
-starts saying la la la la la at random parts of the day.
-the windup sneeze
#aot headcanons#aot#headcanons#aot hcs#eren yeager x reader#mikasa x reader#armin arlert x reader#hange x reader#sasha x reader#hcs#eren x reader#armin x reader#hange fanfic#mikasa fanfic#part 1#attack on titan
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can u do kard somin as gf
As soon as I saw this it's like the NEED to write just YEETED itself onto me. ISTG you have just saved me from writers block. So! KARD's Simon gf headcsnons lessgo! (Maybe a bit ooc-?)
Ok hear me out, somin is playful asf half the time and half asleep the other half
Hugs. Give her hugs bro and she's melting I swear!
If her group is having a comeback, cuddles is literally her top priority once she gets home.
I don't think she gets jealous easily, she trusts you
If you want to watch KARD practice, she'll be hugging you every time they have a break, hiding her face in your neck and whining about how she's tired
Will 100% threaten to hurt anyone who makes you uncomfortable or messes with you (even if it's Matt. Even as a joke.)
If they're having a concert or performance she'll scan the crowd for you, you're always there
Will scold you on stage even, if you cancelled anything to be there, but trust me she's ove the moon to see you
You're her number one cheerleader and she's yours
She'll be there for you no matter what.
Studying for something?. She'll make you food and make sure you rest.
Will make one of the members to get you anything you need if you're sick just so she doesn't leave you alone
When she's the one sick tho, she acts like she's fine and says she doesn't want/need anything
Wrong. Baby her. She'll fall in love with you all over again
Defo the kind to wink at you when she's performing.
And lastly because I'm slowly running out of ideas, of you wear glasses, she'll steal them to try them on. I swear.
#fanfiction#kpop#kard oneshot#kard fanfiction#kard x reader#kard somin#kard oneshots#kard somin x reader#kard#headcannons
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dickate anon here to say: during the grayson run (which is a delight I highly recommend if you haven’t read it) dick’s romantic interest of the run is helena bertinelli… which makes me wonder how kate would feel about dick having an ex who is ALSO an archer with a purple color scheme…
i mean hell, come to think of it, babs and kori ALSO have the purple thing so dick do you have a Type
Omg but Kate being like *sniff* a crossbow? Clearly *I* am a step up. THEE disdain she would have if she met Dick before Helena, THEE archery superiority, a crossbow does not require SKILL, it does not require STRENGTH (Kate technically it does--) it is SO much easier to fuck up and then you are without a weapon!!! None of those fiddly bits on a recurve!!!
If she knows Helena independently of Dick, Kate is much more chill. She's like, yeah I see it. I'd date her. They're bros, basically. Dick Does Not Like This because when he does something stupid or upsets Kate for a dumb reason, Babs and Helena will both rag on him about it, they are firmly in camp Purple Archer. Purple Archer transcends romantic bonds, okay. It crosses dimensions. It is Sacred. At some point Kate or Helena explains this to Dick, potentially with the help of a moderate quantity of alcohol, and whoever is not explaining goes "See? she gets it." Dick is now worried his ex-girlfriends are trying to steal his current girlfriend. Why is this happening.
But if she meets Helena as Dick's Ex, Kate is very jealous. Eventually she'll be more chill about it but for a while that's a way to either get Kate really pissed, really insecure, or really possessive, and it's honestly a roll of the dice which it's going to be. The odds are not great for that going in a fun direction but the odds are good it will make Kate cry in some capacity, so Dick will kick someone's ass if they bring that up to Kate before she and Helena are friends.
AFTER they become friends they probably team up (there's a falconry joke in there somewhere) and they absolutely roast Oliver Queen. I don't care if Helena canonically likes Oliver, she WILL roast him when hanging out with Kate (someone will be like "oh, god, there's two of them???" and someone else is like "dick is this one of your sexual fantasies?" and eventually clint hangs out with them and "oh god there's three of them." "dick is this one of your sexual fantasies??")
Also Dickbabs see Kate and are IMMEDIATELY like, we need to wife her. They can and WILL fight Jason for that right.
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the feels | 이 느낌
flamechasers + raidens aka y/n's groupchat!
SUMMARY you were a student in st.freya, but you moved into tevyat uni because of your dad wish. that means a new university, a new life.
WARNINGS 𓂃𓈒➛ cursing, ooc, kys jokes, dark humor (?), bad english
STATUS 𓂃𓈒➛ to be announced
𓂃𓈒➛ Y/N- who steal personalities from her favourite characters. saying kys jokes if someone disagrees with her, since she's always hopeless. a big BIG scarlet witch apologist for some reason. also can't handle when someone yells/screams at her. "stan twice for clear skin!"
𓂃𓈒➛ Raiden Mei- aka y/n's sister! best chef in the entire world, and no one can't even compare. honestly she's kinda scary on the first meeting, but everything will fine soon. the one and only kiana kaslana's girlfriend.
𓂃𓈒➛ Eden- always fell asleep everytime she sings because how angelic her voice is. other than having an angelic voice, she's also rich. she's the example of perfection, rich, beautiful and generous.
𓂃𓈒➛ Elysia- flirts and compliment everyone out of the blue. also an example for perfection(2), many people think she and eden is dating probably they are. she stans loona and more, she likes twice and loona the most.
𓂃𓈒➛ Aponia- everyone's mother figure. i dont know what to say, also another example of perfection(3). people also thinks she is dating elysia, well who knows? she take care of everyone alot, she's just so sweet and kind.
𓂃𓈒➛ Mobius- a crazy irl scientist? kinda an overprotective big sister figure. she judges almost everything and everyone she sees. you can say she is also an example of perfection(4). (why are all of them so perfect im crying)
𓂃𓈒➛ Pardofelis- a big cat lover. she owns few cats, but her favourite one is can. doesn't really like kalpass for some reason. she'll help you by giving materials you need, but have to make a deal/pay. has song playlists for her cats.
𓂃𓈒➛ Vill-V- who is 24/7 always on your side, even though she's always busy. she'll get infos about someone or something you want to know about. a mother-fucking smartass. has few multiple personalities. (canonically she does have like 8 i believe so?)
𓂃𓈒➛ Hua- who stops every fight that's happening. a lifesaver to everyone! everybody calls her grandma because she's the oldest + her hair. make the best food other than mei(2), mostly her dumplings. can be cold sometimes, but eventually will get along.
𓂃𓈒➛ Sakura- gives alot big sister figure vibes. another best chef (3), she teaches people how to cook. she's good at giving people advice, but not with the delivery for sure. let's say she's another example of perfection (5).
𓂃𓈒➛ Griseo- the quietest one. a little sister figure. really talented in painting, sometimes you're even jealous how good she is. she likes colours alot, she'll even describe the colours. (the perfect child.)
𓂃𓈒➛ Kevin Kaslana- a big bro figure. he's sometimes cold and quiet, but sometimes not apparently. he's 100% dating su, he would say "not interested in dating", but would be in su's side no matter what. a mother-fucking smartass (2).
𓂃𓈒➛ Sus- another big bro figure(2). the quietest person (2), but sometimes also not. helps alot on projects/works. people thinks he is fuhua's cousin😭. yeah 100% dating kevin kaslana aka cold mf. and again a mother-fucking smartass (3).
𓂃𓈒➛ Kalpass- a wrecked overprotective big bro figure (3). he likes bullying kids for some reasons, that's why aponia sometimes dislike him. fights alot with Pardofelis and Mobius. no shit he screams alot like loosing his sanity (he is actually).
𓂃𓈒➛ Kosma- another quiet person (3), he rarely talks like srs. even in chat, he'll just chat "...", he never really say anything because he overthinks a lot and sometimes can't figure out what to say. he seems to be self-conscious. kosma could have a whole conversation with himself in his head before he figures out the right words. (kosma is like us frfr)
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NOTE: this is my first time writing these, I apology if it doesn't make sense and have many typos. english is also not my first language.
#genshin smau#genshin x you#fanfic#genshin x reader#honkaiposting#honkai x reader#genshin fanfic#scaramouche#scaramouche x reader#scaramouche x you
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Carly & Ali
Carly: last nite was good of you Carly: saying thanks cuz i read my text from last nite & it was Carly: I cudnt read it k thats facts Ali: nah, don't mention it, no bitch left behind Ali: plus, I know the cunt doing the ditching, been there, like Ali: was trying to translate but yeah, you were pretty fucked 😂 Ali: how you feeling this am? 💚 Carly: yea? hes not that bad Carly: im a slag like he said tbh Carly: feeling like i had a decent nite all things considered Carly: you? Ali: Gurl, yes he is and no you ain't! Ali: Probably Ali: Who cares if you are, he is, and the rest Ali: I dated him for a bit, so there's no shady, tryna steal your man on the sly going on, don't worry Ali: much the same, my head feels like someone took my eyes out and shoved 'em up my arse, you know? Ali: standard sunday vibes Carly: aw you're sweet but it's no diss on me Carly: like ive cheated on him a few times Carly: but he does it too you're right w that Carly: hes a good fuck when he's not too wasted tho which you kno if you got it too Carly: you're single now tho? Carly: can have him back if you want Ali: Fair play Ali: why not call it open and call it a day? Ali: Probs 'cos he likes fighting as much as he likes fucking Ali: Meh, yeah, was passable, gotta have some reason to keep him around, like Ali: Nah, going out with the girl that drove us back Ali: Remember? Dark hair, angry Carly: yea Carly: you know Carly: shit my bad Carly: she was scary is what i've got in my head Carly: idk my head is sketch cant trust it Ali: That's a fair assessment, I reckon Ali: She wouldn't hate it either so you good 😉 Carly: pretty tho Carly: call it a trade up Ali: Yeah, she's cute Ali: you need any more of the night filling in lemme know, I'll do my best Ali: it was pretty standard though, nothing too wild Carly: no faking it w her cuz shes too drunk Carly: designated driver be like Carly: last i see i was getting with his friend lowkey and he went off about it im blank from then Ali: its a fucking gay crime to ever fake it, no matter what Ali: I can get behind that one tho, not got the time or energy tbh Ali: yeah i think him and his friend then got in a scrap and then they left Ali: bros before hoes mentality hardcore, like idk, have fun jerking each other off then, if that's ur vibe boys Carly: k that sounds legit from what i caught on his socials Carly: didnt upload the circle jerk bless Carly: gay crimes must of been committed Ali: sad face Ali: coulda spat on his back Ali: protip Carly: ill let him know when he texts me later Carly: how did you kno where i live? state of me Carly: sorry to drag you this way Ali: plottwist, i'm a massive stalker with bad intentions Ali: I truly don't know, but I'll tell Lene she should be a cabbie 'cos she managed and I don't think we got any puke in her car Carly: k big lesbian crush on me yea Carly: ioher lots Carly: stealing her girl and wrecking her car in one Ali: Naturally, you cute Ali: I'll give you her number if you like, or just pass along the thanks and soz Carly: awh you're cuter Carly: probs still drunk tho Carly: giving me those kind words Carly: you handle the now ex if you love me Ali: Hahaha, he'd LOVE that Ali: ghosts of gf past Ali: Let me and I'll love you forever Carly: go for it Ali: let's see if I've still got his number Ali: this contact list is a minefield of mistakes but the real embarrassment would be getting them muddled up, fo'shame! Carly: i can give it Carly: used it more recently than you Carly: up there at my top Ali: won't be tellin' him that Ali: don't need the ego boost Ali: but tah Carly: makes it more fun to fuck him over if you praise him first Carly: but maybe thats me Ali: like a shit sandwich Ali: I get it Carly: hungry for anything but that rn Carly: [Sends the number tho] Ali: wanna come for brunch Ali: now you are newly gay Ali: that's what they do, fucking sex in the city up in dis bitch Carly: yea? weird Carly: not what i thought Carly: awh first date tho Ali: forreal, even the butch ones, don't let 'em fool you, its all fancy fucking eggs and screwdrivers by 11am Ali: you call 'em mimosas tho, gotta pretend you're being classy Carly: wtf is a screwdriver Ali: Babe! Ali: Vodka and orange juice Carly: i call it that Carly: gays and their labels Ali: save it for the rant sesh honey Ali: love you talking about how men ain't shit as well Carly: thats the ones i fuck Carly: cant be bringing no poshos to a caravan Ali: Posh boys are only good for the money anyway, I'm sure Ali: not finding any in 24 like regardless Carly: not gonna find out if they do drive by now im a lesbian wife Carly: sorry lads Ali: they had their chance Ali: unlucky boys Carly: should prob tell me your name again if im taking it Ali: Ruins the mystery a bit but alright Ali: Its Ali Ali: Ali McKenna if we're being formal Carly: k you've got the hot brothers Carly: makes sense Ali: 🤔 Ali: I think you're thinking of someone else, babe Carly: not trying to have our first fight but you coulda told me before we got hitched, bitch Carly: you're still hot tho don't be sad Ali: so you could run off with one of my brothers? i think not Ali: unless you meant Tommy 'cos he's very single but that's unlikely because he's never here Ali: stuck with me for now, hoe 😘 Carly: a slag like me could do worse Carly: has Ali: bitch, same Ali: we can compare notes, see how many regrets we got in common Carly: yea Carly: doing it Ali: Good, save it for brunch 'cos I'm coming forreal Ali: we don't have to deal with a gaggle of gossiping gays tho, bring you a maccies breakfast? Carly: k Carly: be fun Carly: you are from what i remember Ali: I like that Ali: No bullshit Ali: Imma start all interactions like be fun please or I'm out Ali: ✌ bringing the fun and the bacon babe Carly: you're not bringing your gf are you Ali: Nah, how awkward, meet the missus, honey Carly: like there's usually a lad in my trio sorry Carly: still learning this lesbian life Ali: oh, are you bi legit? Ali: she's way too jealous for threesomes, you're good Carly: nah i just know what lads want Ali: Oh gurl Ali: that's why Lene ain't coming Ali: the lecture you're avoiding Carly: idc Carly: youre my wife now bitch Ali: 💍💍 Ali: Productive morning, if I do say so myself Ali: and we're hanging, fuck with us Carly: good influence of you cuz i havent done fuck all this week Ali: Hard work being a bi icon, babe Ali: wait 'til I get you on the yoga hype Carly: wtf Carly: is that a joke Ali: nah, I've already done half an hour this morning Carly: bitch i had my fingers crossed you mistyped yogurt Carly: i love you but its a no Ali: 😂 lets be really into yogurt, not fancy stuff, like fucking froobs Carly: phallic Carly: slurping on my dick shaped yogurt Ali: exactly Ali: what do men love more than a representation of their genitals shoved in your mouth? nothing, is the answer, bar the real thing Ali: so seductive Carly: they don't like food in bed tho, but maybe thats my technique Carly: thinking you could use whatever Carly: k just gonna dump this curry out yea bear with Ali: spicy Ali: imagine the yeast infection you'd get from a fromage frais Carly: like sorry but if i can handle cum in my eye you can deal with some saag aloo boy Carly: googling those symptoms would be a laff tho Ali: ugh, now i want indian Carly: date 2, babe Ali: 😍 Ali: this is all moving so fast Ali: 'bout it Carly: thats all i kno about lesbians k Ali: Its so true Ali: Can confirm Carly: is your gf gonna be mad that im flirting with you Carly: cuz im scrappy but she's scary Ali: 😂 Ali: Probably but when I tell her you're straight she'll have to chill Ali: yeah, we're married BUT SHE'S STRAIGHT, BABE Carly: can't tell her how many girls ive fucked cuz i dont remember Carly: convenient Ali: Best keep that on the DL, yeah Ali: like your blatant gay feelings for me Carly: k Carly: been a secret before no big Ali: Awh babe, ain't nothing dirty about this Ali: I shall tell the world Carly: you're sweet Ali: Probably not if you still wanna be getting that D but you know, noblest intentions, like Carly: im over it Carly: go off Ali: when your pussy's the cure Ali: how can I be humble now? 😏 Carly: dont be Carly: proud slags who fucking love froobs Carly: its a mood Ali: that is a whole ass mood Ali: put it on a t-shirt, babe Carly: earn some bread for my table Ali: solid business plan Ali: we can't be the only ones Carly: independent women who don't need no dick Carly: anymore Ali: hell yeah! Ali: unless that dick wanna pay the bills, in which case we'll let 'em Ali: so we can get more froobs Carly: point Ali: oh no, someone put a pic of Molly Briggs vomming on Insta Ali: 1. gross 2. who hasn't been there, poor bitch Carly: sad Carly: hope she's alright Ali: I'd ask but don't really know her and her phone must already be blowing up Ali: plus she threw a netball right in my face once and I don't forget, bitch Ali: jk, I'll just report the pic 😂 Carly: they all call me a whore cba to keep track of which mollys or other bitches Ali: She is a bit of a bitch, ain't gonna sugarcoat it so probably Ali: not saying Karmas real but posted on that friggin' TallaghtSlags page so 🤷 Ali: grab a froob, darling Carly: her name makes me wanna party with her dad but thats as far as im fucking with that family Carly: or mum i dont know who picked it like Ali: Init, proper old skool ravers, obvs Ali: think I'm out of eccies, sadly Ali: last night depleted me Carly: Watch me call my son Bennie cos I got anxiety, baby Ali: Cute tho, whole medicine cabinet of babies Carly: why not im married now Ali: We'll get on that, date 3, like Carly: where you taking me? Ali: up the wheyyyyyyyyyy Ali: well, we had brunch, indian, obvs we're fat bitches Ali: get on that chinese buffet life Carly: you can get on your yoga mat tho Carly: im fucked Carly: letting myself go so soon my bad Ali: Please, you're perfect Ali: I'll have all the kids if you want Carly: blushing is what i am Carly: how many you want? Ali: how many people names are there for drugs? molly bennie mandy charlie umm Ali: and our preachy child, frank Carly: ha Carly: tina that's one Ali: Ooh, yes, a gay icon Carly: billy, bud our weak child, cosmic kelly who's gonna have to style that out Ali: oh kelly, I hope you have the personality to match or we've really fucked you over there, soz babe Carly: can't forget dimitri, lucy or mandy Carly: sweet sweet mary joy Ali: My fanny hurts just thinking about it Carly: christine and tina are obvs twins thats a relief Carly: how manys that? Ali: 13 Ali: Unlucky for some but my actual lucky number! Ali: Fated Carly: ha Carly: it's love and keeps being proven Ali: can't fight what's clearly so right Carly: true Ali: you want a milkshake Ali: i'm having one Carly: yea Carly: strawberry Ali: 'cos u so sweet 💚 Carly: awww Ali: I shall be right there, with brunch fit for a pair of proud slags Carly: k Carly: my parents arent here no need to break the news of wedded bliss Ali: Would be a weird first impression but I could rock it Ali: new fave in-law? I think so Carly: yea Carly: cant fight fate like Carly: been said Ali: forreal, catch me outside if you got something to say, lads Ali: alone time with the bae is always good tho Carly: you kno Carly: love you bitch Ali: love ya 😘
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