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wlntrsldler · 4 months ago

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soldier, poet, king | luke castellan

song: soldier, poet, king by the oh hellos

warnings: not canon compliant, struck by inspiration and wrote this in one sitting so it's kinda just me rambling

i. the soldier

luke grew up a gentle child. he was the type of child who showed mercy at everything, at everyone, even when he knew that he held more power than them. and he did have more power than them.

from a young age, he knew he was different. he just didn't know how or why. it wasn't like he could just ask his mother why locked doors suddenly unlocked when he touched the knob, or why he always seemed to get away with stealing an extra cookie at the lunch line, or why he seemed to understand people who gossiped in other languages. not only were these odd talents to have (and yes he used odd because that's what his classmates used to call him) and his mother would probably not know the answers anyway, but his mother was unreliable at best.

luke was a quiet child. he never talked about what life at home was like and nobody ever asked him. after all, he showed up to school showered, dressed, and fed. there were no red flags there. he didn't blame the school for not knowing his living situation. how could they know? but sometimes, nine-year-old luke castellan wished someone bothered to ask.

maybe if they did, luke would tell them about how his mother talked to herself in the middle of the night and seemed to argue with the pictures on the walls. maybe if they did, luke would tell them that his mother didn't recognize him sometimes and that she would scream at the top of her lungs until her body grew tired then she'd sit still at the kitchen table until the sun rose.

or maybe he wouldn't. he didn't want to be a bother to anyone.

luke had never hurt anything until he was nine. up until then, he used to scoop up spiders on a piece of paper and release them into the world. it felt wrong to kill them so he never did. he used to watch his steps on the way home from school in fear of accidentally killing a centipede on the sidewalk. he used to leave food on the porch for the stray animals that passed by his neighborhood.

luke grew up a gentle child. until he fled home.

the first time luke killed something was when he was roaming the forests of massachusetts. he ran out of food days ago and was surviving on the honey bun an old lady at the gas station bought for him. it wasn't the healthiest option, but she assumed that he was starving from a long day at school and took pity on him. luke said his thanks and returned to his journey.

he could see the sun beginning to set behind the trees. in another life, he'd be watching the sunset in a tent with his mom. it would've been a family camping trip. he took a bite of the now stale honey bun and imagined it was a gooey marshmallow that his mom helped him roast over the campfire. as he crumpled the plastic, he heard it-- a scream from a girl.

luke's eyes widened and he raced to where the sound came from, reaching for the pocket knife he stole from the box his mom kept hidden in the attic. she never let him up there, but as luke was packing his things to leave, something told him to disobey his mother.

he found you with your back against a tree, terrified, with a dog-like creature snarling at you. it had two heads, glowing eyes, and what seemed like a million teeth. it turned its heads to look at luke, and the smile that dawned on its face was haunting. luke fumbled with the pocket knife and watched in amazement as it grew into a sword, both silver and gold, and seemed to illuminate underneath the descending rays of the sun.

luke stumbled in his steps as he held the sword tightly in his small hands and he swung. the dog barred its teeth, no doubt upset that luke was putting up a fight. his technique was nonexistent. he just swung and swung until he managed to lay a blow on the creature, and when he'd done enough damage, luke pierced the sword between the dog's two heads and watched it vanish into thin air.

luke dropped the sword by his feet, trying to catch his breath. he'd almost forgotten that you were there, that he did all that to save someone else. it wasn't until you placed a hand on his shoulder that luke was pulled back to life.

"thank you," you whispered. luke got a good look at you then. tear streaks down your face, hair a mess in two thick braids on either side of your head, and eyes that seemed hollow, though the will of wanting to survive fought to keep the traces of you there. "you saved my life."

luke looked down at his feet to find the pocket knife back in its original form. he bent down to pick it up, hands still trembling as he stuffed it in his back pocket. he wiped his sweaty palms against the fabric of his jeans, "i-i've never killed something before."

"me either," you gulped, nodding. "i'm y/n."

luke brushed his stray curls from his forehead, "luke."

ii. the poet

life at camp half blood became repetitive after a while. training, dinner, offerings, and repeat. luke was excited when he became the head counselor of the hermes cabin because at least he had something new to do. he no longer needed to follow you around to fill his time, though he'd be lying if he said he didn't miss spending so much time with you.

you'd been promoted as the head counselor of your own cabin months before luke, which was overdue in his opinion. you'd grown dependable, strong, and fearless over the years at camp. sometimes luke couldn't believe that you were the same girl who cowered against a hellhound all those years ago.

the life he had before he met you seemed like a lifetime ago, and in some ways, it was. eight years had gone by since he arrived at camp half blood. he's seventeen now. time had taken away many of his memories from his childhood.

"hey soldier," you greeted, bumping his shoulder with your own. "done with your list yet?"

"soldier," he greeted with a bright smile. "just about. want to tag along while i finish up?"

the nickname grew out of a morbid conversation the two of you had a few years ago. it was after you'd just gotten claimed by your parent, the night before you were due to move out of the hermes cabin. luke had found you sitting in the middle of the arena, your sword tossed carelessly on the floor. when you didn't show up to the cabin after lights out, luke knew he had to look for you.

"hey," luke approached you gently, taking the spot beside you. "everything ok?"

you lifted your head, craning your neck to look at him. you shook your head, "no."

his eyebrows furrowed in concern, "what's wrong?"

"i have a quest," you mumbled, tears welling up in your eyes. "that's why she claimed me."

for years, you found home in the hermes cabin. year by year, you admitted defeat, thinking that your parent would never claim you as theirs. it was painful, watching new arrivals get claimed by their parent while you watched on the sidelines, clapping in celebration. you faked smiles and niceties, but luke knew how much it hurt you.

he'd walk with you back to the hermes cabin and kept you company until you felt better. if he had it his way, he'd stay beside you forever, but he'll be content if he got to stay with you until you didn't want him to anymore. thankfully, that time hadn't come yet.

luke felt anger bubbling in his chest as he scoffed, "all these years... i'm sorry y/n. that's fucked up."

"it's okay, luke."

"it's not, though," he shook his head, "it's not okay that she only wants to claim you because she needs you. what about when you needed her, huh? all those years that she ignored you."

your shoulders deflated. luke was saying all the things you'd been repeating in your head since you've been claimed. "i know, luke, but that's just how the gods are."

"maybe that's the problem," he said. his anger kept increasing, his voice sharpening after each word. he thought about the worst-case scenarios if you left. you could get hurt. you could get trapped somewhere. you could die. the thought of it made luke sick. "maybe the gods need to get a taste of their own medicine. tell me you're not going on that quest."

"i have to."

"then i'll come with you."

you placed a hand on his thigh, "i can't ask you to do that."

"you're not asking. i'm offering."

"no, luke," you sighed, "as much as i would like you there, someone needs to stay here. someone needs to look after annie and the rest of the kids."

"and who's gonna look after you?"

"i'll be okay," you managed to smile, "i can hold my own now. i have the best teacher, remember?"

luke's eyes softened at your words. he'd been teaching you fighting techniques since he was dubbed the best swordsman of camp in centuries. everything he learned, he passed onto you. the life of a demigod was unpredictable outside the walls of camp half blood, and if there came a time when he wouldn't be around, he wanted to make sure you could fend for yourself.

he took your hand in his, tugging on your arm to pull you closer. once you were close enough, he wrapped an arm around you and placed his chin on the top of your head. "i know you can."

there was a silence that fell upon the two of you after that. the two of you sat there beside each other for a beat before you spoke again, "do you think they will ever change?"

"no," luke answered honestly. "we are not their children. we're soldiers to them."

as time passed, the truer those words became. he watched his friends, his siblings, return as a shell of themselves after their quest. he often wondered when he'd be called for his, though he was in no rush. some people were gone for weeks, months, sometimes years, and he couldn't fathom being apart from you for that long.

as he snapped out of his thoughts, you laced your fingers with his, "i'd love to join. i miss your siblings."

luke laughed, "they miss you too. i'm no longer their favorite now that i'm head counselor."

"that's because you never let them have fun," you joked, "fun is good. in moderation."

"hermes kids don't understand the word moderation."

"true," you giggled, running your finger across his knuckles. "chiron is looking for you, by the way. said it's urgent."

luke shrugged, placing a kiss on your temple, "i'm sure it can wait. wanna spend some time with you after finishing up. feels like i haven't seen you in ages."

"we just had breakfast and lunch together, luke," you cocked an eyebrow teasingly, though your grip on his hand tightened. "can't get enough of me?"

"you know the answer to that," he hummed, not deterred by your tone. he never kept it a secret that he'd follow you to the ends of the world if you asked. "but we haven't gotten time with just us two in a while. would like to be able to kiss my girlfriend without campers saying ew."

"the ew's don't seem to bother you that much because you do it anyway."

luke stopped, untangling your fingers so he could hold your face in his hands. he placed a long kiss on your lips, one that left you breathless. "like you said, i can't get enough of you."

iii. the king

the waters were rough tonight. princess andromeda rocked harshly against the current, but luke remained unmoving at the front of the ship. he stared out into the dark waters, thinking back on the memories he had left. kronos was slowly chipping away at all of them, but he held tightly on certain ones because he didn't want to forget.

all of the memories were of you-- the way your skin flushed red after hours training in the arena, the way your hair fell in a tangled mess when you let your hair down, the sound of your laughter when he kissed your neck and his curls tickled your skin. these were things he would fight to remember.

luke thinks a fate more cruel than death would be to forget you.

tomorrow would mark a year since he left camp half blood to lead kronos' army, a year since he last saw you. it seemed trivial to him now to think about the 'what-if's' of his quest, thinking about all that time he would spend without you, only to have it happen anyway. only this time, he knew for certain he wouldn't return again.

life on the ship was vastly different from camp half blood. luke never thought that he'd miss the boring routine, but he did. the only thing that stayed the same was that he remained in power. in camp half blood, he was respected, seen as the leader of the pack. and here, the same can be said. he was kronos' right hand, and until the titan was able to attain his physical form, luke was in charge.

he was the captain of the ship. he was the king. he would bring glory to the demigods.

in the distance, a faint light appeared. luke squinted as he tried to make out the object slowly coming closer. he turned to enter the ship, the room falling silent when he opened the door.

"there's something out there."

chris stood up, approaching luke. he was the only one who dared to address him and luke preferred it that way. chris was his brother. he didn't know the rest of them well.

chris cleared his throat, "we just got word from someone on the inside that they're sending some people to attack us."

"so that's what's out there," luke clenched his jaw, "who did they send?"

"percy, annabeth," chris gulped, "and y/n."

for a moment, luke's demeanor faltered. were you really on your way to fight him? is that what your relationship had come to? luke bit his tongue, trying to control his emotions. he crossed his arms across his chest, "change course now."

another one of the demigods stood up, a puzzled expression on his face, "what? there's only three of them. they're outnumbered. we can take them."

"did i stutter?" luke snarled, "i said change course."

"it doesn't make sense to. changing course will set us back at least. a day!"

"are you in charge?" luke questioned. in his heart, he knew he would pay for this later on. once kronos hears that luke changed the plans without his knowledge, he would suffer but he thinks that whatever torture kronos has in store for him would be less painful than seeing you again.

you were fighting the same war, but you stood on different sides. it was something luke still had trouble coming to terms with.

the boy shook his head, cowering in fear as he made his way out of the room to relay luke's orders to the others. luke turned around and pinched the bridge of his nose before walking back out to the front of the ship. he held onto the railing as the ship turned right, his body jerking with the motion. he always did seem to lose his composure when it came to you. as the ship sailed away, he watched the light he saw in the distance fade into the darkness.

#frances writes #luke pjo #luke castellan fanfic #luke castellan pjo #luke castellan #luke castellan one shot #luke castellan x yn #luke castellan x you #luke castellan x reader #luke castellan x y/n #percy jackson fanfic #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians

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thelov3lybookworm · 10 months ago

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Mine?

Summary: Grayson's world is about to turn upside down.

•○●⛦●○•

A/n: ehehehe

•○🌑○•

Grayson sighed, rubbing at his brows.

"So you're telling me we need to get Y/n's approval for this project?"

"Yes." Aaron Galathynius stared Grayson down until he looked away, frustrated.

"But she is missing. She won't answer my calls, and you refuse to give me her location. What am I supposed to do?"

Grayson was sure that even if she hadn't been ignoring him like her life depended on it, she would have rejected the idea without even considering.

Galathynius gave him an unamused glance before turning to the papers spread on the table. "You do know that's my daughter you're talking about."

Grayson refrained from letting him know exactly who he was talking to. That without Grayson's grandfather, the Galathynius family would still be some nobody business, hoping desperately to make it.

But he only stopped himself only because he was friends with Aaron's daughter and would do anything to talk to her again, and fighting with her father was probably the fastest way to make sure she never talked to him again.

Grayson sighed again, picking up his coat and shoving his arms through. "Call me when you are ready to answer my questions, and maybe we can proceed."

Turning, Grayson stalked over to the glass doors and stormed out, letting them swing shut behind him.

Once in his car, Grayson pulled out his phone, staring at her contact name. She would not pick up, Grayson knew. She would leave it ringing just like she had been doing over the past year.

But still, trying to contact her was better than wondering about what he had done wrong for his best friend to ignore him so.

So he tapped his screen, and stared until the call cut off by itself after ringing for a good few minutes.

Grayson sighed, turning to stare out the window at the scenery that passed by.

Gray knew sleeping with her was a bad idea, but he hadn't been thinking. He hadn't thought that it would get this serious when he refused to apologise.

But he'd just found out about Eve's betrayal a few hours before Y/n had visited him in his bedroom and he wasn't really thinking, and that led to things escalating faster than Grayson could understand. And the next thing he knew, he stared down at her limp and spent form in horror, sated with the pleasure he had delivered.

She had smiled at him softly before she realised he did not look happy. Then she had shot up, reaching out for him. He leaned back, staring at her before stumbling out of bed. He could see her heart breaking, but he could not let himself think too much about the fact that he was the reason she got hurt.

"This was a mistake."

He'd mumbled out the three words that had broken the friendship that the two of them shared, and as he walked away towards his wardrobe to clean up, he could have sworn he had heard her curse him.

Heard her heart shattering.

But he could not bring himself to care as he hurriedly put on clothes. When he'd stepped out, she was nowhere to be seen, the clothes he had ripped off her body and discarded haphazardly on the ground gone, the only thing left behind her lingering scent.

He had seen her once after that, coming out of his mother's house when he went to visit her regarding something about the foundation. She'd had tears in her eyes and her arms wrapped around her body, as if to protect herself. He had tried to talk, but of course, he had been ignored.

Now, as the Hawthorne house rolled into view, Grayson told himself what he was about to do was not wrong. That this decision was for the best.

"Zabrowski? I need you to find someone for me."

•○🌑○•

The apartment complex looked posh, but it was nothing compared to what Grayson was used to. Still, he had to give it to Y/n. She had always been good at picking out the perfect things.

Grayson stared at the elevator door, making sure he did not let his anticipation and nervousness show as he neared the fifteenth floor, where Y/n had taken residence in according to Zabrowski.

Zabrowski had also mumbled something about a child in passing, but Grayson had forgotten all about it until a few hours ago.

As the elevator doors dinged open and Grayson stepped out, he wondered if Y/n had finally found someone. Wondered if she had stopped just having hopeless crushes and actually acted on her feelings for whoever, that maybe she was now pregnant as he rang the bell of apartment 1502.

He got his answers the moment the door in front of him opened, and out peeked the head of his best friend.

"Y/n."

Her name escaped him on a thin exhale, a weird feeling spreading through Grayson's chest. He watched as her lips parted in shock, her eyes only widening a fraction.

"Grayson?"

He dared to smile at her. "It's me-"

A loud cry broke the moment between the two, and Grayson's interest piqued when Y/n whipped around, letting go of the door as she ran towards where the sound was coming from.

Grayson knew it was wrong of him to push the door open and look for himself. but he could not help the curiosity.

He watched as the simple white button up shirt she was wearing puffed a little with air, her leg muscles flexing and contracting as she moved, stared as her shirt rode up a little to show the denim shorts she was wearing.

He watched as she ran towards the couch set in front of a wall of glass, looking out over the forest of buildings, and bent to...

Pick up a baby.

Looking at her cooing softly at the child was a shock to Grayson's system as she had always said that she did not want kids, or at least not until she had seen the whole world and was far older.

Grayson was damn sure she could not have seen the world in just one year, so either she had changed plans, or the baby was unexpected.

Grayson also knew he had been her first time.

Horror spread through his chest when Y/n turned around a little, smiling down at the... blonde baby with grey eyes wearing a cute litte pink onesie, who giggled back at Y/n. Her mother.

Grayson could not take his eyes off of the child, and it was a long moment before Y/n turned to him fully, her eyes widening.

Grayson finally glanced up, meeting his best friend's eyes. His voice cracked when he finally spoke, his eye stinging.

"Mine?"

Y/n did not reply, stalking over to the door and slamming it shut in his face. The loud crash echoed in the empty hallway, the sound deafening, heartbreaking.

But Grayson did not pay it much attention, the only thing ringing in his ears his own voice asking the question and the unsaid answer.

Mine?

Mine.

•○🌑○•

General Taglist (only tagging people who i either know read these books or people who sked to be tagged in everything 😉) : @harrystylesfan2686 @cassie6392 @berryzxx

#grayson hawthorne x reader #grayson hawthorne #the inheritance games #tig fanfic #tig x reader #grayson x y/n #grayson hawthorne fluff #grayson x reader #grayson hawthorne x you #grayson hawthorne x reader angst

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darkbluekies · 10 months ago

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Ayo?? Family with hedwig?? Sign me up SHHSJHSHSSHDKA

Anyways, yeah, how would the reader's life be with the girl and her (should i say their?) Two lovely kids? Would love to know the dynamic

Let me introduce Hedwig’s children. But first, let me remind you of something. In this oneshot, it is explained that Hedwig has inherited the yandere tendencies from her father, which means that her children will be just the same.

Warning, family life with hedwig and your kids are dramatic and over the top

Violet, 17, is a copy of her mother, just as beautiful and charming. Lives for love, always nice, but a bit colder than her mother, doesnt enjoy the spotlight as much. I see her as a bit smarter than Hedwig, and not as emotional. She would start out as a study buddy for her darling and then slowly start to become closer and closer. Every time her darling would ignore her for others, she'd teach them wrong things and make sure they fail, and when they give her all their attention, she will make sure they succeed.

Astor, 15, is a boy who would do ANYTHING for his crush to love him and someone who follows his darling like a puppy. Unlike his sister, he is emotional and resembles their mother quite well in that department. He does everything they want him to do. His darling wants him to embarrass himself? He will. His darling wants him to buy them something? Already done. They want him to help them cheat on a test? He will get the answers. Everything for his darling, just for their love. In modern words: a simp.

Family life with these ones would be a very messy one. There would be crying, emotions and moodiness. Astor would often get himself in trouble because of his eagerness to please his darling, but Hedwig would NEVER think that he can do wrong, and she WILL fight with the teachers (not physically). She will solve everyhting with money.

The siblings would get along quite well, Violet would probably take care of her younger brother and give him lots of advice. Astor would give tips on how to give gifts, plan dates etc.

You would probably have a hard time trying to stop both Hedwig from destroying you and fighting with principals, and your kids from ruining other children that they've gone obsessed with :) but they would be the sweetest souls towards you, because of how much love they have for you.

Happy family?

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere family #yandere imagines #yandere drabbles #yandere oc x you #yandere oc x reader #the younger generation

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oliversrarebooks · 11 months ago

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The amount I would like to see Jameson and Alex have a high society slap fight is more than a little lol

Masterlist

March 1920

tw: mind control, captivity, references to abuse

"Good evening, Lord Alexander!" said Miriam as she opened the door, beckoning him inside nervously.

"Good evening, Miriam. You seem agitated -- is everything all right?"

Miriam sighed with a smile. "Madam's overworking herself again, sir. It's not my place to overstep as her thrall, but I'm concerned about her health. I'm glad you came to call. She listens to you, sir."

"Do you really believe that? I don't," said Lex, chuckling. "Regardless, I don't think you're overstepping. I think it's very good for you to care for your madam. Lily needs people looking out for her."

Miriam beamed like she'd won the lottery. "Thank you, sir."

Lex allowed Miriam to lead him into the parlor. He was quite fond of Lily's latest thrall. She had remained sharp under the enthrallment so far -- no surprise, given how skilled Lily was at her craft. A good sign for her future, he thought.

"Oh, Lex, there you are," said Lily, who was lounging in an undignified manner on the couch, surrounded by magazines and bits of yarn and fabric. "I'm glad you were able to pull yourself out of your book-cave long enough to come calling. I've been drowning in work lately, and I need someone to socialize with who isn't a thrall I'm hypnotizing, or I might lose my own mind."

"Rough week, then," he said, settling down in a plush chair. Nearby, Miriam sat down in a chair in the corner, taking up an embroidery project.

"It's been one thing after another. I think the long winter has given everyone cabin fever, and they've all collectively decided that they're dissatisfied with their perfectly functional thralls. You won't believe what I've had to put up with."

"Such as?" Lex leaned in.

"The most ridiculous complaints. 'He taps his foot while he reads.' 'She turns the radio on too loud.' As though they need me to solve that," she said with a frustrated groan. "The worst one was 'his human food smells bad.' I turned him away -- 'sorry, sir, I can't do anything about the fact that your human thrall requires human food.'"

Miriam made a strange noise of distress.

"What is it?" Lily asked.

"Does my human food smell bad?"

"Oh, no, of course not! You haven't done a thing wrong, Miriam. It's the vampires who are being unreasonable."

"It's awful that they treat their thralls like that," said Lex. "What ever happened to treating your thralls with dignity?"

"Exactly, you understand. Speaking of which -- " Whatever Lily was about to say was cut off by the doorbell ringing. "Oh, for crying out loud, who could that be? I cleared my schedule today."

Lex, having an uneasy feeling about this, followed Lily to the door, and was none too happy to see the perturbed visage of Jameson, a vampire he truly despised. He was gripping a smaller man by the shoulders, an unfortunate thrall who had clearly been crying.

"And what do you want?" said Lily bluntly.

"Is that any way to treat a customer?" he said.

"You're not a customer until you tell me what you want and I agree to it," she said. "And in case you didn't know, asking me to work on such short notice will cost you an extra 20%."

"I'm aware," he said. "I'm at my wit's end with this thrall. He's supposed to be fully mindwiped, but he keeps sniffling and making the most obnoxious whining noises."

"What on earth did you do to that poor man?" asked Lex. He'd never been able to stand the company of vampires who preferred their thralls to be little better than cattle, especially if the vampire in question abused their innocent humans. That dislike was mutual -- vampires like Jameson rarely mingled with those like Lex who believed they had an obligation to give their thralls a good life.

Jameson scowled at Lex. "It's none of your business, is it? I'm here to make a business transaction with Miss Lily and certainly not with you."

"Fine," she said with an annoyed huff. "Let me see your thrall. You can sit in the parlor until I'm done."

The thrall's eyes held a spark of recognition when he looked at Lily. Considering what a thorough job she did with the mindwipes -- preferring not to have to do it twice, and trying to minimize the thrall's suffering -- he must have been under a lot of stress to wake up enough to regain memories. Damn that Jameson.

No doubt, Jameson would rather not deal with Lily at all, but although he was in possession of a strong vampiric aura, his enthralling abilities were known to be below average. He had no choice but to hire an expert to work with his thralls, lest he destroy their minds utterly and leave himself responsible for a comatose bloodbag.

As Lily took the thrall into her workroom, Jameson sat down in the parlor with a sour look on his face. In her corner, Miriam was staring at him with a haunted expression. Lex wasn't sure if she actually knew Jameson, or if she saw how he treated his thrall and rightfully regarded him as a threat. He gave the poor girl a look as if she were lower than a bug, and she shrank further into her seat.

The humane and sympathetic thing to do would be to send Miriam out of the room until Jameson left. But Lex, annoyed at Jameson's rotten attitude and the interruption of his social call, couldn't help but do something a bit petty that he knew would annoy the other vampire.

He pulled up a chair next to Miriam. "This embroidery you're working on is very intricate. Can you show me your work?"

Miriam smiled. At least she seemed comforted by having Lex nearby, distracting her from the vampire glaring daggers at her. "Oh, yes, sir, of course," she said, showing him the pattern she'd carefully cut from a magazine. "It's a skirt with flowers and birds all up and down it. The original pattern has green leaves and blue birds, but I had this lovely rust-colored fabric to use, and I thought it would go very well with autumn leaves and red birds, like cardinals."

"You have a good eye for color, Miriam, and it's coming along splendidly," said Lex.

"Thank you, sir, I truly appreciate that!"

"Hmph." Jameson sniffed.

"Is there some problem?" said Lex.

"I just think it's a terrible shame that a vampire so gifted with conditioning chooses to keep her thrall in such disgraceful condition," he said, with a pointed glance to Miriam, who clutched Lex's arm fearfully. "She could easily erase her thralls and keep them in a far more agreeable state where they don't require entertainment or attention, and yet, she chooses this. You'd think her sire would have taught her better."

Miriam gripped Lex's arm hard enough to hurt, and Lex regretted that he'd provoked Jameson instead of sending her out. "Sir -- if I displease you --"

"You haven't displeased anyone, Miriam," Lex said, patting her hand in a comforting gesture. "You're an excellent thrall, and your madam also thinks so. She tells me all the time. You don't need to listen to what Lord Jameson says."

"Of course you'd think that," said Jameson. "That's about what I'd expect from a thrall-screwer."

Lex glared at Jameson with a simmering rage. "I'd suggest you be quiet, lest you say something you'll regret."

"Why would I regret speaking the truth?" said Jameson. "We all know you fell for that nasty little blond thing. A revolting thrall, and no better as a vampire, if you ask me."

Lex's temper flared. He was obviously baiting Lex for a confrontation, looking to stir shit for his own amusement. Lex really should ignore the meaningless squawking of an ignorant asshole just trying to get a rise out of him.

Instead, he stood from his chair, crossed the parlor in a flash, and slapped Jameson across the face as hard as he could.

Jameson looked stunned for a moment, the bright red mark emblazoned across his cheek, then started to laugh. "And I thought you considered yourself civilized! Well, if that's how you like it..." There was a flash in his eyes as he flared his vampiric aura, and Lex could feel it, like rodents skittering along his limbs and gnawing at his flesh, like a thousand beady red eyes boring into him. The sensation made the hair on the back of Lex's neck stand up.

It was an aura that could easily subdue a lesser vampire, but Lex hadn't survived this long in this city by allowing any upstart vampire to best him, especially with his honor at stake. He took a deep breath, pushing his own aura outward in an inexorable wave. He was a storm on the ocean, waves and surf pounding, wooden ship cracking beneath your feet, the feeling of being pulled down into the dark and briny depths with no hope of escape.

Jameson furrowed his brow and intensified his efforts, but this was a battle he could not win, and it was so satisfying when his facade cracked and he showed his first sign of fear --

-- at least until both of them were swept off their feet by an even more powerful force of will.

"Hey!" Lily bellowed from the doorway. "What the devil do you two think you're doing?"

Lex looked at her sheepishly, not wanting to admit he'd been having a pointless tussle with with her customer. Jameson primarily looked annoyed that their fight had been interrupted.

"You two were laying it on so thick that I could feel your auras in my workroom. I don't know how you expect me to put a thrall under in those conditions." She went to comfort Miriam, who clung onto her skirt. "And you've upset my Miriam."

"Sorry, Lily," said Lex, and mostly meant it. At least, he did very much regret upsetting Miriam, who didn't deserve to be caught in this crossfire at all.

Lily sighed. "Lex, take Miriam to the kitchen and help her calm down," she said. "And as for you, Lord Jameson, you will sit quietly until my work is done, and I'm tacking on a surcharge for that little outburst."

"You can't be serious," he said, slamming his hands on the table. "It was Lord Alexander who --"

"Then you're free to take your thrall and leave."

Jameson settled back down onto the couch with a huff, like a petulant child. "Fine. Do what you will."

With that settled, Lex ushered a still-frightened Miriam into the kitchen as Lily returned to her work. "I'm sorry for being so sensitive, sir," she said.

"Don't be, not at all. I'm sorry for provoking that rat Jameson." He handed Miriam a handkerchief, which she used to wipe tears from her eyes. "You can relax here. He won't bother you any more. Now, is there any kind of snack you might like?"

"Sir, you don't need to --"

"It's my pleasure. The least I can do." He pulled out a chair and beckoned her to sit. "What would you like?"

"May I have strawberries with sugar, sir?"

"Certainly," he said, relieved that she asked for a dish he knew how to prepare, his knowledge of human cooking spotty at best. He found the fresh strawberries in the icebox, and made quick work of cutting them up and sprinkling them with sugar.

Miriam's eyes lit up as she dug into the sweet berries. "Thank you very much, sir!"

Lex settled down into the chair across from her as she ate. She was still a fairly bright thrall, but he knew that his sire would have her in his sights sooner rather than later. Lily would wipe her memories of the trauma, and her deterioration would begin. A slow moving tragedy, one he'd seen play out quite a few times by now.

Even so, she was certainly in a better position than that man in Lily's workshop. Her re-enthrallment of him would no doubt be a mercy compared to being lucid in Jameson's grasp.

What must it be like...?

He pushed the errant thought from his mind, not wanting to stir up dusty memories of his own enthrallment, so many years ago now.

Masterlist

@d-cs @latenightcupsofcoffee @thecyrulik @dismemberment-on-a-tuesday-night @wanderinggoblin @whumpyourdamnpears @only-shadows-dwell-where-we-are @pressedpenn @pigeonwhumps @amusedmuralist @xx-adam-xx @ivycloak @irregular-book @whumpsoda @mj-or-say10 @pokemaniacgemini @whumpshaped @whumpsday @morning-star-whump @shinyotachi @silly-scroimblo-skrunkl @steh-lar-uh-nuhs @pirefyrelight @theauthorintraining @whump-me-all-night-long @anonfromcanada @typewrittenfangs @tessellated-sunl1ght @cleverinsidejoke @abirbable @ichorousambrosia @a-formless-entity @gobbo-king @writinggremlin @the-agency-archives @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @enigmawriteswhump @foresttheblep @bottlecapreader @whump-on-a-string @whumpinthepot

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saintheartwing · 1 month ago

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Analyzing Arcane: The Redemption of Jinx (MAJOR SPOILERS!!!)

I know when to admit when I'm wrong. And I thought Powder, or rather, Jinx...was just plain beyond help. It looked like she'd fully given into her worst self.

And then...Arcane, Season 2, shows me how wrong I was...with the introduction of Isha.

We get a tiny HINT it's not too late for Jinx when she actually HAS a chance to shoot her sister...when her sister comes looking for her in the arcade they spent so much time in, and picks up Claggor's goggles.

She's fingering it, lost in thought about the past, and Jinx cries. It's not just the fact that it's her sister and all her emotions about what's happened recently are flooding, she's probably also thinking about how what she did got her friends killed as she watches her sister hold one of the last remnants of her friend's memory. And she just can't do it. She can't shoot her sister.

She runs off and runs into trouble, and of all people...SEVIKA is the one who helps out. The two used to hate each other, but with Silco gone, the two bond over the mess he's left them in. The Underground's crime bosses are tearing each other apart and innocents are caught in the middle, and they have a hole left in their lives, cuz despite the fact that he didn't do much on his own...Silco had a way of bringing people together and uniting folks that kept order. Things were mostly under control...now they're not. Now, the rules are gone.

And it seems Jinx wants to die. She lets Vi and Cait track her down and they're obviously intent on killing her. And Jinx is just fine with Vi doing that despite an initial and vicious fight.

In truth, when it's clear Vi's won, Jinx is like "I'm glad it was you" and just lies there ready to die. Then...Isha rushes in to save her.

And this...this is how we see what Jinx really needs. Jinx's entire life she has been almost entirely dependent on others for what she needs because she can't exactly manage on her own. The trauma she endured in losing her parents had her relying first on Vander and Vi, then on Silco. Then without him...without ANY kind of support structure...any kind of love...

She just doesn't have anything to live for. Then, with Isha, things change.

Now, she's not building bombs. She's painting bugs and having them do fun little gladiatorial battles. SHE'S the big sister figure who has to be responsible. And while all of this is happening, the city of Zaun is seeing Jinx as a rebellion against the police state Piltover is becoming, using her blue hair as a symbol of uprising, stoked BY Isha who imitates Jinx to help further stoke the flames of rebellion.

Later, Isha gets captured along with a bunch of other Zaun residents and tossed into Stillwater Prison. Jinx goes with Servika to bust them out, and...they're all grateful to see her.

All of them are just so happy she busted them out, she's absolutely stunned. She's NEVER had so many people openly happy to see her. And she's touched. And then...

Then it gets back. Warwick, the werewolf-esque beast that mad scientist Singed's been basically working on in the background of the series gets let loose.

And frankly her gun is like a POPGUN to him, it barely does a thing. It looks bad, real bad...until...he recognizes two things. One...the bomb she's got in her hand when she tries to blow herself and him up together. And two...her face. Her hair. Her eyes.

And he says one word that has Jinx realize the truth. The awful, yet still hopeful truth.

"Powder?"

Yes.

It's Vander. Jinx realizes her father figure isn't dead. She goes to Vi to tell her all about it, realizing that if Vander is TRANSFORMED but still able despite everything to recognize HER...then perhaps all the damage that was done all those years ago, maybe it's not impossible for it to be fixed. They can still be a family. It might not be what it was...but it'd be having her father back. Her sister back. And when they eventually find him in the mines, Vi actually reaches through to him.

I just about broke out crying here. They are a found family once again. Naturally, they want to try and cure their dad OF him being all big, furry and with violent tendencies, and luckily, Victor has a commune of people he's been healing of terrible wounds. He can make the blind see and the lame walk and all that, and he's happy to welcome Vander in, seeing him as perhaps his biggest test. He's a bit more...creepy cult leader but his compassion hasn't changed. For once, the sisters have hope. Vi even suggests "hey maybe we could stay here in this commune, it actually seems really nice" and Jinx is like "Wait...you WANT my opinion"? She'd been afraid Vi wanted nothing to do with her anymore. Now though that Vander seems like he'll be back to his old self, AND she has her sister and Isha though, Jinx is actually happy.

The selfishness she had inside her simply needed to be balanced out with a real support structure. She needed to know she was loved. She needed to know that Vi WOULD never give up on her. That love won't change. Nothing can change that bond, not ever.

Sadly...things end horribly. Singed comes by and he's brought Ambessa AND the Noxian army with them...just as JAYCE has come round. As we find out later on, Jayce has basically been to a bad future and he's seen what he thinks happens if Viktor is allowed to just keep doing his cult stuff...his idea of healing people will actually allow Hextech to overrun all of Piltover and BASICALLY ANNHILATE EVERYTHING into a kind of watercolor painting nightmare. The only way to stop it...is to kill Viktor, who's mentally STILL trying to heal Vander.

So Singed stops the curation of Vander AND with Victor being almost killed by Jayce, Vander is tragically lost in the beast of Warwick, and he's going wild. Worse still, there's only one way they can get away from him AND the Noxian forces, as Isha has gotten hold of the gem cores that have so much magic power...the ones which can EXPLODE. She loads three into Jinx's gun, dives under Warwick, and...

...well...

The good news is our heroes get away. The bad news is Jinx has now lost her father again, AND lost Isha. She is at her absolute lowest point.

She's not eating. She's so dirty and not bathing. Her hair is growing overlong. She even apologies to Cait saying that she never meant to kill Cait's mother, she didn't know she was even in the tower she fired on. Not that it excuses what she did.

Her inner voice in the form of Silco, now with a blue eye to contrast against the orange eye he had in real life, tells her that killing is a cycle. It's only stopped...when someone gets the courage to finally walk away. Jinx feels that he's right. There's only one way she can break the cycle. There is no "Good version" of her. She should die.

But who should show up? The "Boy Savior". Ekko.

Ekko has been VERY busy. Thanks to an experiment with Jayce and Heimerdinger, they got tossed into alternate timelines. In the one he and Heimerdinger ended up in, although Vi died...basically everything went great. Zaun got full freedom, it's basically utopian, his father figure Benzo AND Vander are alive, in fact Silco and Vander made good and they're still friends. Claggor and Mylo are inventors. POWDER is one too and she's...well, CUTE! He actually got a kiss with her on the rooftop they spent so much time at as a child. It's heartbreaking and touching. And he's there now with a "gift"...the work of him, Powder and Heimerdinger in that timeline...a device that sends you back four seconds in time. Though any damage done to you remains.

And so Ekko talks her down from the edge. "No matter WHAT happened in the past, it's NEVER too late to build something new".

She notices the device...and she sees those monkeys. She knows full well SHE didn't build that...though in a way she did, and I think she puts two and two together seeing his time travelling machine. And she makes the choice to fight for Piltover and Zaun against the oncoming hordes of Noxians, fighting alongside her sister.

Thanks to Ekko's time-travelling abilities, Jayce, Jinx, Cait, Mel, all our heroes manage to succeed. But Vi, seeing Vander in the state he's in, can't bring herself to just leave him...which is a mistake. Vander seems basically gone...and so Jinx sacrifices herself to save Vi.

Seemingly blowing herself and Warwick up, though it's implied at the VERY, VERY end that perhaps she's NOT dead, because a zeppelin flying off is the last shot. A zeppelin JUST like the one Powder said one day she'd be flying in...

With THAT...as "The End"..

So...the bottom line of the show being that if you're willing to change and make yourself better...you CAN be. It isn't too late for you. Though you cannot do it on your own. People need to be surrounded with those that love and care for them to give them that final push sometimes, and that's a good thing. The whole season two has shown that if Jinx had the love and care of those who she loved and cared for...she could be the "better version of her". And seeing Vi would never, ever give up on her gave her the strength to be that.

I've never been so happy to be proven wrong about a character. Thank you, Riot Games, and thank you, Fortiche, the French studio that made the beautiful animation for this amazing series.

Seriously, folks. Go watch this on Netflix. PLEASE.

#Arcane #Powder #Jinx #Vi #Violet #abuse #trauma #schizophrenia #mental illness #support systems #Netflix #cartoon #League of Legends #LOL #Isha #Warwick #Vander #recap #analysis

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accidentally-in-fictional-love · 2 months ago

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Chocolate Whiskey and a Borrowed Bed - Leo Fiske/Jack Delroy

Warnings: Era-influenced homophobia, publicly closeted Leo, entirely closeted Jack, mutual pining, Leo really gets around, blowjobs, handjobs, anal sex, hopes for the future ;w;

Wordcount: 10074

Summary: It's been one year exactly since Night Owls was brought back from the dead, so Leo throws the crew and their friends a big party at his unlisted address so they can all celebrate properly away from prying eyes after the near disaster last year almost was, and maybe, a little party is all Jack needs to finally get some things off his chest.

Notes: I wrote this for my wonderful talented amazing friend @glamgoths for her birthday, love youuuu 🥰💗💗💗 she's a Jack/Leo truther to the point where it made me a Jack/Leo truther, Leo became so cool in my eyes that I not only have fun writing him in readers but it also overwrote my selfship jealousy in order to ship him with Jack, so I surprised her with this hehe

Halloween, 1978.

No one could explain what had happened last year no matter how they looked at it, their carefully planned show to get great ratings just in time for the start of Sweeps Week nearly ruined by a series of bad luck. Even he couldn’t figure it out, not with undeniable certainty, but it’d led to Christou getting some kind of food poisoning after his unknowingly staged communication with someone in their audience, then some carefully planned messages from some poor woman's son, and finally ending with him throwing up all over Haig after having to deal with his usual bullshit.

It was funny if not shocking, but it had done the ratings good, something from his pre-show meal turning the contents in his stomach black, squid ink he'd said, which sounded disgusting when Leo had heard it, but damn if it hadn't worked in their favour.

Haig had kept his check in the end, and he'd flashed it in June's face when he'd been able to recreate the same kind of hypnosis as her, hell, it’d even gotten him a little backstage, but he’d never admit it. She'd stormed out when Jack tried to replay the footage of Lilly’s possession to then prove that she hadn’t faked anything, that'd been the last straw even with Lilly wanting to show Haig once and for all that he was wrong, and the show had ended with Cleo singing to a disappointed audience. But the ratings, the fight for that last scene that never came, they'd impressed Cavendish’s new vice president of marketing just like they’d wanted, and it'd brought the show back to life.

It was a year later, Halloween again, and this time Jack was determined to have Haig eat his words. He'd searched high and low for even better guests, found another illusionist like Haig had been but better, and the moment she’d walked out on stage it was clear that there was an air to her that Christou hadn’t held. She'd claimed to levitate as well as commune with the dead and read futures, and he'd almost paid - his presence was practically required after last year, to Jack's chagrin - but decidedly hadn't when she refused to tell him how it was done. The audience had been split, one half telling him to pay her while the other wanted to know how she did it when he did the same and he was perfectly fine with explaining it, and she'd ended up being consoled by Jack when she became overwhelmed on camera.

Leo didn't like that part of the show, just another June to replace Madeleine, and he'd downed a bit too much whiskey as the show continued on after the break. She didn't stay no matter how much Jack pleaded for her to, her bit was done in her eyes and Haig wouldn't let up even when the cameras were off, so Leo had to be the one to help her gather her stuff and make sure she reached her ride. He did it as calmly as possible even though the memory of Jack's arms around her made him light up a smoke while they waited by the busy street, despite her request that no one smoke around her; it was petty, but she'd live, a little smoke wouldn't kill her when it was very clear she'd only come on the show because she wanted to be near Jack, not because she believed in his mindset about the occult despite her career choice.

The show was wrapping up now, it felt like it'd lasted several hours this time instead of just one, and Leo had Jack's favourite ready for him with a spin, picked especially for tonight; it was a glass of Ballotin's new brand of chocolate whiskey, to keep in the spirit of Halloween and candy while also being perfect for a man surely stressed beyond belief because he needed to top last year, and as soon as the cameras cut and he handed over the glass, Jack downed it all before he even had a chance to open his mouth to congratulate him on how it’d went. It took him a moment to register the chocolate amidst the usual burn of the whiskey, his eyes going wide in surprise as Leo just smirked.

‘Thought you could use a taste of the party before we get there,’ he told him before blowing a light lungful of smoke towards the ceiling, Jack swirling the last drops around before taking a sniff.

‘So is this considered a trick, or a treat?’ he asked him, already starting to calm again now that it was over, and Leo liked the sight of that as he led him backstage to gather his own things as the crew cleaned up for the night.

‘Depends on how much of a surprise it was,’ he figured as they reached the snack table, or what was left of it, it'd been picked clean between the crew and Jack sneaking the chocolatey treats to the Madame all night before her departure. Jack thought about it before considering it a treat apparently as he poured himself another glass, drank it back, and then left it to be cleaned up later. ‘You doing alright after Haig drove away your girlfriend again this year?’

‘You know I'm not seeing anyone, and I'm more concerned with how it all turned out, how were the phones this year?’

‘Ringing off the hook once she started floating and no one could find the strings, not even Haig,’ Leo told him, the two making their way out of their set room and into the hallway leading to the elevators. ‘Rang so much we had to borrow some phones, lots of questions about how we did it and if she'll be back with more, since she isn't performing live for a while.’

Jack did a little leap for joy as the elevator doors opened, his eyes wild with excitement over the news, he always got so youthful despite nearing his 50s the moment he learned that a show had done well; he was getting better with accepting he would never beat Carson, he'd been against the therapy at first, but seeing how much his fans and co-workers still cared for him had encouraged him to despite the stigma, and while he was still getting over Madeleine, at least he was okay with putting on a good show without also putting his entire self-worth on the line.

That was good, Leo liked to see him happy and wanting to be ready to knock ‘em dead again, he could worry about the numbers and the sponsors enough for the both of them from now on.

‘How late you gunna stay out tonight?’ he asked when they reached the ground floor, Jack thinking about it and pulling on his thick coat over top of his suit while they headed for the door leading to the staff parking lot.

‘Not long, trying to get better sleep, Bianca says that it'll help me focus better if I cut down on the late nights, try sleeping when the sun is down instead of working til it rises,’ he told him as they reached their cars, Leo holding his cigarette between cold fingers as he rested on the roof of his car.

‘Another woman in your life?’ he teased, but there was a bitterness in there, his eyes hidden by the dark as well as his sunglasses as Jack leaned against his own car.

‘Far from it, she's my therapist and she's married, for one,’ he chuckled almost nervously, Leo raising an eyebrow.

‘Hey, I won't tell her husband if you don't,’ he joked just to see if Jack liked her, the other man running what was definitely a nervous hand through his hair at that one.

‘For two, she isn't married to a man,’ he continued in a quieter voice than before, silence falling between them as Leo caught on instantly; they didn't talk about this sort of thing even though more of them were appearing in public. He was one of them, not that he'd ever tell, but she must trust Jack in order to tell him that, and the thought of why she'd trust him made him nearly crush his cigarette before he snuffed it out on the back of his hand really quick before tossing it away.

‘Ah, well, that'll put a stop to things,’ he agreed, Jack laughing again a little more easily now that he knew Leo wouldn't judge this random woman he knew. There was a flash of something in his eye, even from afar and in the dim lights he could see it from there, and he gave the car a tap to get Jack's attention when he started to unlock his door. ‘Hey, why don't I give you a ride to my place, save a bit on gas?’

‘You gunna drive me home later? I already told you I can't stay long this time,’ he reminded him, but he was already walking over, and Leo waved away his concern for his sleep schedule.

‘You know I've got plenty of room, just steal a bed when you've had enough, at least stay up to bob for some apples and watch a movie with us, I spent a lotta time setting all this shit up,’ Leo insisted, and Jack laughed even easier as he reached for the handle.

‘You mean you got your assistant to set it up?’

‘Fuck no, she only knows about the penthouse, not the house.’ They piled into his car and he turned on the heat as soon as the engine turned over for Jack's sake, and he had to admit it was a nice sight to have him sitting there in the passenger seat as he fiddled with its position and got warmed up. He didn't smoke anymore, he'd quit for good after last year, and Leo made sure not to light up on the way to the house; naturally there was a group of them gathered around his front door when they arrived, he'd banned it inside to avoid Jack giving in to any cravings and forcing him to restart again, and made a mental note to tell them to go out back next time. He shooed them aside as they approached even though Jack didn't need him to, everyone was already inside since those who knew about the place knew where the spare key was hidden, and they'd started everything while the show was finishing up.

He found out who'd gotten there first and went to thank them as Jack went through the motions of another successful show to those who didn't see him as often, the two separating as the party took them elsewhere for a while; he'd made sure to leave a note for the ones who arrived early, since it'd be a choice on their end seeing as they all knew that filming didn't finish til 1AM, and the living room and kitchen were filled with adult versions of the classic activities the kids around the city were surely also doing. There was a cheap tub filled with water and apples as promised, but there were also a bunch of hidden items in boxes the guests could touch and then guess at what was inside. There was a pin the skull on the skeleton taped to the wall as well as the tail on the werewolf for those who were feeling a little more childish on this fun night, and of course, the kitchen was filled with snacks and candy galore.

He'd secretly spent a fortune on tonight because he knew this was Jack's favourite holiday, and because he needed to keep riding the high of good company and even better alcohol - he was still working on that - so he needed to make this as tempting as possible. On the outside he looked uninterested with it all, he was the adult here amidst this group of children, but on the inside he was glad everyone was enjoying themselves, small smiles escaping him when someone got too excited about placing the tail or skull correctly, by grabbing an apple on the first try. It took a while but Jack joined them after he met with what was probably every single person in the house - and even the ones outside - to continue marketing himself to them, making more connections, now that he was back, as he put it.

Leo let him mingle until he was done, and he had more Ballotin ready for him when he found him in the kitchen while he was going over the supplies for the remainder of the party. ‘No thanks, I've been trying to cut back, believe it or not.’

‘Jack Delroy, I can believe you when you say you've given up smoking, but drinking? What's gunna keep you running these late nights?’ Leo joked as he accepted the glass from himself instead, but this time Jack didn't laugh, in fact, the mood seemed to have dropped a bit. ‘You're serious?’

‘Yeah, Bianca helped me see I was relying too much on it after- after Minnie, so I've been cutting back, what you gave me earlier was the first drink I've had all week,’ he confessed in the emptiness of the kitchen while everyone else partied in the other rooms, and Leo felt a somberness he hadn't felt since he'd heard about Madeleine's diagnosis fall over him. Jack talked a lot about things, he had big dreams and never stopped at them no matter what tried to keep him down, it was the thing that drew Leo to him in the first place when he was looking for a producer to help get him into TV, and it was what made him fall in love, along with a long list of other things.

Yeah, he'd admit it sometimes, he'd fallen in love with Jack instead of just telling himself it was a crush that grown men shouldn't have on other men, but Jack was easy to love, always had been, even when Minnie had gotten there first and stolen his heart so completely that she never left, even after death.

He set the glass down on the counter and walked over to Jack where he was still picking through the assorted snacks for the specific ones he wanted, a small pile of chocolate-covered pretzels in his hand as Leo rounded the island and clapped a hand on his friend's shoulder. Jack stiffened, he'd probably meant to keep this one a secret since the smoking was shared by so many in the studio, and Leo squeezed to let him know that he'd respect that journey the same way he had the moment Jack had swore he'd quit for good when he'd been offered a smoke come November 1st last year.

Jack smiled and held Leo's hand over his shoulder, this was getting dangerous, but there was no one there to judge as Leo refused to pull away, just like he always did when Jack needed him to stand by his side. ‘You're a good friend, Leo, you've been there for me since the start, if you hadn't been with me when I lost her, I… I don't know what I would've done,’ Jack told him quietly, his energetic voice so soft the way it always was when he talked about Madeleine and almost quitting the business, and he knew he shouldn't, but he couldn't help but pull Jack into a tight hug.

‘You're a good man, Jack, always been better than the rest of us, how could I let you crash and burn out there when there's still so much fire in you?’ he asked into his arm, because he couldn't face him, and he heard Jack let out a breath as he nuzzled into his neck in appreciation. He didn't get the shivers, his heart didn't skip a beat, his face didn't redden, but Leo felt like he could maybe admit he was in love twice in one night as Jack took all he could from the hug and finally pulled away. He looked a bit better, he must've been having a hard time restraining from everything when this time of the year was so hard to top, and instead of the whiskey, Leo grabbed two glasses and filled them with ice water instead.

This one Jack did accept, and they toasted over chocolate pretzels and candy corn while someone pinned something perfectly according to the yells from the next room. Jack drank it with a hiss through his teeth at the freeze instead of the burn, and he placed the glass on the counter and took his pretzels with a small shrug towards the stairs in the distance. ‘Gunna turn in for the night, you still got my room made up?’ he asked as he walked backwards towards it, and Leo tipped his glass towards him, of course he did, he always would. Jack nodded and helped himself to one of his pretzels before disappearing into the crowd, Leo watching him go before heading back out there himself, a smile plastered to his face as he greeted the night owls and other business casual friends, the late hours ticking away until they needed to either leave or crash on his couches.

He made sure to clean up before retiring for the night as well, he'd hate himself come morning if he didn't no matter how much he wanted to put it on the ones currently taking up his couches, armchair, and even floor as well as the remaining rooms upstairs, and it was well into the AMs by the time everything in the kitchen at least was tidied so as to not disturb those already resting. He was dead tired as he scaled the stairs so he could finally get to his room, a symphony of snores coming from the spares lining the halls as they always did when he threw parties like this; it was the reason he bought the place, he'd always known people, even when he was young, thanks to his parents and who they in turn knew, so continuing that tradition and getting a place where he could gather everyone together and create this kind of environment for them in this unlisted home had always been second nature to him, always been who he knew he would be when he grew older.

He reached his room and turned the handle, everyone knowing to stay away because he did not lend this one to anyone if he was going to stay the night no matter who they were, and he was in the middle of taking off his sunglasses and rubbing his eyes when he noticed that the bed wasn't empty.

His eyes adjusted to the dark as he stared at the form under his blankets, someone had come in and snagged it while he was downstairs, and an annoyance like no other overtook him as he stormed over to kick them out, this room was off limits. He stopped when he saw it was Jack, his suit jacket ditched and the buttons on his shirt undone as he snored soundly away under the covers. The hair peeking over his undershirt made Leo stare even though he'd seen it before during emergency costume changes, or when Jack and Madeleine used to take over his pool. Now it felt like this was against some rule that'd never been spoken, this was intimate, a side of him he shouldn't be seeing, and he sighed before rubbing his eyes again and giving his friend a small shake.

‘C’mon, I wanna get some rest, go find your room,’ he told him softly, like he didn't want to wake him despite what he was both saying and doing, but when Jack understandably continued to sleep he steeled himself and pushed a little harder. ‘Jack, let's go, let me sleep.’

‘This is where I wanna be,’ Jack mumbled as he got even comfier, and Leo retracted his hand instantly as if he'd been burned.

‘This is my room, thought you asked about your usual?’ His voice just kept lowering even though he was actively fighting to speak loudly so as to keep Jack from falling back asleep, the latter glancing up at him through one barely opened eye before reaching for his hand and pulling it back to not his arm, but to his chest.

‘Let me stay…’ he whispered before his face softened again, he was just conscious enough to ask as he now actively tried not to fight off sleep so he wouldn’t have to leave, and Leo considered it before he frowned; he knew this couldn't be what he wanted, it was dangerous to be what he was and he couldn't have Jack following after him after working so hard to gain Cavendish's favour and sponsor and bringing Night Owls back from the dead.

‘Jack, stop this, get outta my bed,’ he demanded, his usual firmness back in place to protect himself, and this woke Jack up as he sat up with surprisingly clarity and stared him down.

‘I'm where I want to be,’ he repeated, and Leo's eyes trailed over his chest before he grabbed onto him, tried to pull him up.

‘You're too old to be playing games like this, you're a grown man for Christ's sake,’ he insisted as he tugged, Jack fighting him until he lost his balance; he fell forward, a knee shooting out to stop himself from crashing into the other man, and there was a moment where they stared at each other in the dark. He swallowed, this was too intimate, this was dangerous, if anyone heard and came to see what was wrong the both of them might lose everything even though nothing was even happening, he couldn’t do this to him, he’d nearly lost it all before.

He tried to shove him away, just let him have the bed, he’d find another room or join someone on the goddamn floor if he had to, but Jack was holding him so firmly, just like he did when he’d come to him about Madeleine’s sickness, and her passing. He was refusing to let go, and there was a sadness in his eyes underneath the desperation and fight to stay, there was something he was hiding from him just like he had about going sober. He tried to pull away again but Jack tightened his grip and used all his strength to attempt to bring Leo to his chest, and when that didn’t work he threw himself into his arms.

‘Jack, you don’t know what you’re doing,’ he warned, but his voice wasn't as harsh as before, and he felt Jack shake his head against his shoulder before turning to press his face into his neck. ‘Jack-’ He grabbed on but he couldn’t yank him off, he hadn’t drank much and that had been hours ago but he must be drunk, he knew the dangers too, there was no way this could happen no matter how the world was progressing, not for them.

‘Please, I’ll get you something to drink, you don’t even have to do anything with me, just let me pretend that it’s normal to feel this way, just for one night,’ Jack whispered into his skin, his unkempt hair disturbing Leo’s curls, and he froze and stopped trying to pull him away when he felt Jack tremble.

‘How long?’ he could only ask, and Jack didn’t pull away.

‘Since the Grove, being around the other men reminded me of what I’d forgotten.’

‘Fuck, no- how long have you wanted this from me?’ He paused when Jack didn’t answer. ‘Or am I just- the one you thought you could ask?’

It took him a while but he did answer, and Leo saw himself standing in the UBC lobby while Jack tried to make it past the receptionist all those years ago. All his big dreams to get into television instead of radio had made him turn on the charm with her, but when she couldn’t do anything because his low priority appointment had been canceled in favour of a high priority call and lunch date, he’d become desperate. Leo had watched as Jack had looked almost ready to give in and try again later, that fire in his eyes still there along with his frustration because he’d come so far, he had the experience and charisma, he just needed a chance.

Leo had been the one to give it to him, not because he’d fallen in love, because it’d taken a while for that to happen, but because he wanted to see what he could do.

‘Even before Minnie, I’ve… always wanted it from you,’ Jack confessed in the quiet of Leo’s bedroom like they were a couple of confused and experimenting teenagers again, just two kids who felt things that the world would never understand, come 30 years too late. Leo was definitely confused, he’d seen the way Jack loved Madeleine, that had been real, there were no lies or performances for the cameras between them, but for him to say this, to look like he truly meant it, maybe he knew less about the world than he thought. ‘Sorry, forget it, it’s the whiskey talking, I’m not actually a-’

‘You’re sober, you’ve been sober,’ Leo reminded him harshly, not wanting him to back out when it was reminding him too much of every single man he’d ever been with who told him the same the moment it was over, along with many utterings of it throughout whenever they asked him to fuck them. It hurt too much to see it come from Jack, the one man he actually wanted to be with, not just sleep with, and he let himself slip for just a moment as he pried his hands off of his arms so he could hold them instead. ‘You say it came back to you at the Grove? Have you been with anyone since you moved up here?’

‘No one, just Minnie,’ he replied like saying it was easing that weight, and Leo let his head fall forward until he was almost leaning on Jack’s shoulder; this was hard, if he let Jack know that he felt the same it would change everything, he could have what he wanted and be there for him in more ways than just as his producer. He could know how it felt to go home with him like tonight all the time, he could hold him in his bed without having to push him away or worry about those on the other side of his door, he could be the one Jack whispered and smiled at the same way he watched him do to Madeleine for years.

If he told him, he might just be the one Jack loved.

‘I just saw someone, the other week I think it was, right after the show,’ Leo told him, he hadn’t told anyone before, there was no one to tell. ‘We’ve been on and off for a few years, nothing actually serious, just casual fucking whenever we need it, cause I- shit, I never forgot, Jack.’

Jack swallowed as he looked at him in a new light, and it was like a weight had lifted off his own shoulders, but now a new weight was replacing it, because if Jack was like the others, if he did this with him now and then pretended like it’d never happened the next day, Leo would drink himself into a fucking oblivion.

‘So you’ve actually…?’ He couldn’t even say it, so Leo matched him by only nodding. ‘Yeah, me too, that thing they say about the rituals and the- the orgies, christ- it’s all- it’s all true, and once I was in, and they invited me to them, I couldn’t forget again.’ He looked almost ashamed, he might actually be like those other men, and Leo let go of his hands to grab him by the shoulders, he wouldn’t lose him to that shame over who he was now that he was saying it.

‘Jack, hey, listen to me,’ he urged as Jack actually looked away even though he’d been so ready for this, he’d planned on it by coming in here and getting into his bed, begging him to stay, he couldn’t back down now. ‘There’s nothing wrong with you, you hear me? Even if you had to find out again because of that, there’s nothing wrong with either of us, but it’s up to you whether you want to go forward with who you are, or to hide it again.’ Jack refused to look at him as he spoke, but he could see the gears turning, he was thinking, deciding on what his future would be now that they both knew about each other, and Leo was ready to give him all the time Jack needed to think when he suddenly leaned forward and kissed him.

His eyes went wide while Jack’s scrunched shut, this was so different from the way he held Madeleine, and he decided to give him time with this until Jack slowly pulled away; the gears were still turning, and Leo watched as he licked his lips, looked at his producer’s, and leaned in again. This time it was softer, more testing than just going for it, and he pretended like this hadn’t been what he’d been wanting for years as he eased his grip on Jack’s shoulders and let him figure it all out, he wouldn’t rush him.

It felt like he’d forgotten how to kiss, it’d been over a year since Madeleine had died already but he’d figured that he’d been at least hooking up once the guilt of having feelings for others had lessened, but with the way he was kissing him so carefully, like he was afraid to want more let alone touch him, he had to wonder if Jack had just been alone this whole time. It made him want to be patient even more despite his brain telling him to kiss him back already, and it wasn't until Jack rested his hand against Leo’s jaw and tried to deepen it that he allowed himself to. It came easier for Jack after that, like he was remembering it all, like he was getting comfortable in what he wanted, and Leo finally felt what Madeleine did when Jack let out a small sigh against his mouth and started to shift forward.

This was bad, this was exactly what he wanted and Leo didn’t know if he could stop as Jack got more into it, his unbuttoned shirt slipping off his shoulders before he was moving onto Leo’s. Jack was too big to slot himself onto Leo’s lap like the smaller men who wanted him to hold them down and treat them like girls, even like the men who’d never bottomed in their lives but wanted him to show them how, but damn if he wouldn’t try as he gave in and kissed him back with everything he had. He took off his own shirt thanks to Jack’s helpful hands, his own then sliding over Jack’s warm thighs to cup his ass.

He felt different than the others because he was Jack, this was a body he’d been beside every single day since he’d brought him upstairs to get his canceled appointment followed through, one so familiar to him in every way but still feeling so different under his palms and fingers. He knew each curve hidden under those pressed slacks, knew the exact angle his back naturally curved to when he hunched forward, knew how sharp his jawline was as he talked, but it was fresh and new to him as he reacquainted himself with each one. His thighs were full yet they held a slimness that allowed him to partially crawl onto his lap without any trouble. His ass was firm but also gave way in just the way he liked when he kneaded at it. His spine could just slightly be felt when his hand slipped under his undershirt for more, and his jaw worked in an almost devilish way as his clever tongue danced over Leo’s own.

It was all new, but in a way he’d always known all of this, and he groaned when Jack broke the kiss to mouth at his neck.

He shoved him back down onto the pillows, he didn’t know what Jack had done at the Grove and he wouldn’t ask, but for now he would show him how it felt to be loved by a man, not just fucked. It seemed to be exactly what Jack wanted, if he wasn't lying then he’d wanted this for maybe just as long as Leo had, and he returned the favour by leaving a trail of marks where they wouldn’t be seen by the cameras. Jack let out a noise that went straight to Leo’s dick as his hands tangled in his hair, wrapped in his curls and tugged in a way that drove him crazy, was he like this with the others, with Madeleine?

He didn’t want to think about them now, not even her because he was with her husband, just like how he could never look her in the eye after every single night he got off imagining that the man underneath him was hers.

He lifted Jack’s undershirt over his head and moved down even further, it was clear that he either did really want this or he really hadn’t been with anyone since she got sick because Jack was so hard it looked like he could barely stand it. It made his mouth water at the sight, and he licked his lips before mouthing at his pants, his hands working on his belt. He didn’t give head that often, he preferred to receive it, because that way he could help himself to a cold glass full of dark liquid and guide their heads while he shut his eyes and pretended, but tonight he wanted to if it was going to be for him.

‘Leo…’ Jack moaned as he watched, and he wished he hadn’t taken off his sunglasses so soon because now Jack would know exactly where his eyes were while he did this. He tugged his pants down his hips a little, he was getting too old for this kind of foreplay this late at night with no sleep, but he was sure as hell going to try for as long as his back allowed if it meant getting to look up and see Jack looking back at him with that expression. He looked ready to burst, maybe it was the former and not the latter, and he hoped that it was true as he mouthed him through his briefs and started to palm him.

He waited until Jack was practically begging for it before pulling him out, and he mentally recited what had to be the first prayer he’d said since he was a child in Sunday school as he ran his palm dryly over the shaft just to feel his heat. He felt Jack pulse against his palm, a twitch following as Jack lifted his hips to try and fuck his loose fist, and Leo spit into his palm before stroking Jack more eagerly. His head fell back against the pillows, his legs already tensing as he was forced to look away, and Leo licked his lips again before taking the tip into his mouth and swirling his tongue over the leaking head.

Jack was already panting, a new but familiar desperation was overwhelming him more than he could handle after a year of abstinence, and Leo had to take his mouth away to hush him before continuing; if anyone woke up from their drunken stupors long enough to hear Jack’s voice coming from his room then it was all over, and he eased up just enough for Jack to catch his breath. He waited until he was quieter before taking the rest of him into his mouth as much as he could manage, and he savoured the taste of him and his lust like he would die the moment he forgot it.

Jack covered his mouth before grabbing Leo’s discarded shirt and biting down on it to muffle the noises when he couldn’t keep his hand in place, and Leo glanced up to see his friend bucking his hips and screwing his eyes shut tight as his teeth showed over the fabric. He moaned around him, Jack shaking his head at the feeling because that was too much, he couldn’t handle that, and Leo cocked an eyebrow at him before doing it again. Jack let go of the shirt and needed to cover his mouth again while his other hand found Leo’s hair, tried to get him to stop because it was going to make him come, and he just gripped his hips and bobbed his head a little faster in response.

He was lightly thrusting against his mattress so his moans came easier, he was never this vocal but it was driving Jack wild, and he was ready to be whatever he wanted him to be as the hand in his hair gave him a warning tug. He took him deeper, it was making him choke, he was definitely getting too old for this, but between Jack pulling his hair with both hands to get him off before the pleasure took him over and the growing sounds of his need he knew he’d risk that sore throat to finish this. He had to shut his own eyes when the sight of Jack fucking up into his mouth so he could come nearly pushed him over the edge, and he swallowed down every last drop as he felt his come shoot down his throat between punishing thrusts of the soft head hitting him where no man had been allowed before tonight.

He didn’t pull off until Jack was done, he’d needed that so badly that he’d gone limp the moment he was done, and Leo caught his breath and cleared his throat as he pushed himself back onto his knees; he never swallowed, he didn’t like the taste, but with Jack, like everything else, it was different, and he crawled up until he was practically straddling him. ‘Did anyone ever do that with you at the Grove?’ he rasped, Jack just shaking his head as he covered his eyes with his arm.

‘Always… made me take it… I… I liked it,’ he heaved, and Leo’s dick twitched so hard in his pants that he needed to get them off before he broke the old zipper. He didn’t take himself out, there was no way Jack would want to go again even if he was able to after coming that hard, and he gave himself a few tugs out of sight to ease the pressure before noticing that Jack was watching him again. He breathed a little heavier as he stroked himself again, Jack’s eyes trailing down until there was no denying what he was looking at, Leo doing it again, then again, until he couldn’t take it.

He rested on his heels as he jerked himself off, Jack eagerly watching like he wanted more before he sat up, slid his legs further under Leo’s body so he could get closer. He didn’t ask for permission again, just went for it as he palmed his friend and felt the way his hand moved under his pants, and Leo groaned again at his curious fingers then slipping in beside his own. Jack silently pushed aside his hand to stroke him instead, and his hand was smooth from years of easy labour even though he worked so hard. He braced himself on Jack’s shoulders and moved his hips, properly fucked his hand when Jack pulled him out so he could see him too, the two of them moving with each other in a way that Leo had never done with any of the others.

Jack loved gently, even though there was desire behind it he made love, Leo knew that just from the way he was being held. He pushed aside thoughts of him touching Madeleine just as gently, thoughts he’d kept coming back to when Jack had been a little too affectionate while they were in public, but no matter what they kept returning until Jack noticed his distress. He kissed his neck again, did it the way he liked to, and there were no desperate bites, no marks left behind by men who wanted to get off and go back out there like this wasn't who they were.

Jack kissed him like he loved him, and if Leo were an emotional guy that might’ve wrung something out of him, but it didn’t entirely as he just let his nails dig into his back and leave behind proof that this was happening. ‘I want you to fuck me, as soon as I felt that man inside me I knew I wanted to feel you too,’ Jack whispered to him, not in a way to turn him on more, but to left out this secret that he’d been holding onto for years.

‘You gotta stop touching me in order for that to happen,’ Leo reminded him, but neither made the move to disconnect as his pleasure built higher and higher. Right when he was about to come he grabbed Jack by the wrist and got him to stop, if he just had tonight then he wanted to fuck him too, he wouldn’t accept that Jack wouldn’t pretend like this was more than just longful sex once the sun rose, and he went to his nightstand to pull out his lube and condoms.

‘No, we all had to wear them at the Grove, I want to feel you,’ Jack insisted as he placed his hand over the condom, and Leo shook his head.

‘I’ve been with too many men, and it’s been a while since I was tested with how busy this month was, I won’t put you at risk.’ It wasn't a lie, but he also didn’t want to know how Jack felt around him like that, how warm and tight he’d be when he finally pushed inside.

‘Then stop seeing them,’ Jack blurted out seriously, his hand closing around the condom and wrenching it from Leo’s grip, ‘just stop, you won’t need them anymore if you have- if we-’

‘I won’t tie you down as some random fuck whenever either of us needs it,’ Leo frowned, and Jack shook his head again, his shoulders hunching as he thought about how to word this.

‘You don’t understand, I don’t just want a random fuck, Leo.’ Now Jack was frowning, but Leo wouldn’t believe it, he couldn’t after wanting this for so long, and Jack broke him out of it by kissing him again. He didn’t pull away until Leo was kissing him back, and he brushed his curls aside as he rested his forehead against him, their faces mere inches apart. ‘You know me, you know how much I care for the ones I love, I don’t want you to just be a random fuck,’ he continued in a whisper, they were so close again, and Leo felt his hands grip Jack even harder. ‘I’ve wanted you ever since you helped me get in, long before I saw Minnie.’

‘You chose her,’ Leo finally said, he’d been holding it in for so long, and Jack nodded this time.

‘I loved her more than I have any other woman, but I’ve always loved you, too, I just couldn’t have you, not out there,’ Jack confessed to him, and for once Leo let himself get sentimental as he hugged Jack tightly.

‘You won’t be able to have me out there even after this, they don’t understand people like us,’ he said softly, Jack nodding again, ‘I can live with it with those men, I don’t love any of them, but you-’

Jack froze as Leo realized what he’d said, he’d admitted it, he hadn’t wanted to but it’d just come out, but Jack didn’t look like he was going to back out now that he knew exactly what was going on here. ‘As long as we’re here, they’ll never find us,’ he murmured so softly it was almost below a whisper, said only for him, ‘we don’t need the penthouse or my place, we can just come here.’

‘They’ll find it eventually if we keep being seen together, we can only explain away so much to those vultures out there,’ Leo said bitterly, but Jack was soft, he was so soft as he was the one to hush him, this was how he loved.

‘I’ve always pushed the boundaries on Night Owls, it might skyrocket the ratings if they learned that Mr. Midnight was a homosexual, or whatever I am,’ he didn’t exactly joke, but Leo still coughed out a laugh all the same.

‘A widowed TV host and his homosexual producer revealing themselves to be getting together behind the scenes, the media will have a fucking frenzy with that one,’ he agreed, and Jack kissed him again before tossing the condom out of reach even though there were more in the nightstand.

‘Exactly, so why don’t you fuck me for tonight, and we’ll figure this out tomorrow, just like we always do?’ Jack suggested as he broke away to lean back against the headboard; Leo didn’t need to be convinced any more after that, and together they finished stripping each other like this was their first time and they couldn’t wait to get to the main event. Jack was already getting hard as they ditched their clothes and started kissing again, and Leo was about to touch him before thinking of something. He quickly got up and locked his door, no one would be able to come in no matter what they heard now, and it wasn't perfect but it would have to do as he rejoined Jack on the bed.

‘How do you want me to do this, old man?’ Leo teased now that Jack had finally passed the final threshold before he reached 50s as of this year, and he thought about it before getting on his hands and knees. ‘That’s a young man’s position, you think your knees can handle it?’

‘You think you can make me come again before your back acts up?’ Jack teased right back since they were only a few months apart, and he smirked and rubbed himself against his ass to get him to shut up; this felt right, this was how they’d always talked even though Jack was pushing back against his dick for just a little more until he could fuck him. If he’d just bit the bullet and asked back then, threw out some subtle hints that maybe he was interested, could they have had this all this time? Could he have been the one Jack came home to after every show instead of her? He didn’t know with how long it took either of them to say something, but he was glad he could have it now as he lubed himself up and started to stretch Jack out. ‘Don’t waste time, they never did, we can go slow the next time we’re here, I want to spend the whole night with you.’

Leo didn’t like the thought of who knew how many men treating Jack like that, but they could unpack all of that later, for now he really needed to get off now that it was coming back to him again. He teased Jack for just a moment before pushing in, and it was too tight but he didn’t seem to mind it, Leo would have to teach him about actual gay foreplay at this rate, but Jack was right, they could do it when they could spend the whole night together. It took him another moment to set a pace, Jack felt even better than he expected and he couldn’t get enough of the slow drag until the head was catching on his rim and making him keen, and he repeated the action a few times before getting to it.

He was used to the position, to the feeling and sounds of men under him like this, but he wanted to forget it all and learn it all again as he ran his hands over Jack’s back and started to thrust. Already it sounded like it was too much for him, like he was about to come if he kept this up, and he alternated between going fast and hard enough to nearly make him shout and slowing down until it almost felt like torture. He rolled his hips as he slowed, made Jack feel every inch of him as he did, and he could see his arms shaking in the dim light, he couldn’t hold himself up for long at this rate. He splayed his hand over his lower back and pushed as he traveled down to the base of his skull, and he guided Jack to rest on the pillows before trailing his hand over his jaw and to his mouth.

‘Suck.’

Jack obeyed, he must’ve been used to this command because he gave a wanton clench as he ran his tongue over Leo’s fingers, and he shuddered at the feeling before fucking him hard again. Jack moaned around his fingers as they both got what they wanted, two men who couldn’t even hold hands out there finding solace in fucking in silence, in the safety of his home that was currently compromised by the people he’d so willingly invited in. They couldn’t take this from him, when Jack had married Madeleine he’d thought that he’d have to let him go for good, but fate had allowed him just this one happiness that hadn’t been bought, hadn’t been given to him on a silver platter.

It was real, it was his, and he removed his fingers from Jack’s mouth so he could grip him by the hip and the shoulder as his orgasm started to build.

Sweat was dripping off the both of them from the exertion, the bed creaking with each thrust, Jack’s sounds muffled by the pillows as he hung on for dear life, Leo so expertly quiet after a lifetime of hiding that this was easy for him until Jack turned his head to the side. He looked back at him, eyes half lidded, mouth slightly agape with a smile, and in that expression Leo saw not lust but love, he really did love him, and he reached around to quickly jerk Jack off until he was coming just so he didn’t have to look at that expression any longer. He practically cried into the pillow at the feeling of Leo still going until the sensation was too much and he came too, and he’d never had sex without a condom before, but fuck if he didn’t like the feeling of coming inside the man he was resting his forehead against.

He didn’t pull out at first, he physically couldn’t, but eventually he had to, they needed to get cleaned up and one of them needed to find a different place to sleep before the others awoke and saw them leaving together. He was already thinking about the dawn but Jack was still a Night Owl, and when Leo pulled out and moved to get up Jack was quick to pull him right back down. They bounced on the mattress and it gave a concernedly loud creak that had them both freeze, but there were no bangs on the wall to shut up, no signs that anyone had heard them at all.

Leo lay with his back to his friend, or whatever he was now, before he couldn’t take it anymore and turned to face him, and he wasn't surprised to see how wet Jack’s cheeks were. Here it came, now that it was over he’d realize that he’d said a lot of things he didn’t mean like all the others still in hiding, he wasn't ready for a relationship in general, let alone one with a man, the end was coming before the sun rose. But Jack never said he regretted it, he was crying but it wasn't in sorrow this time, and Leo just laid there as Jack reached up to trace the shapes of his face, learned them more intimately than anyone else ever had before.

‘I nearly asked you to dinner that day, when we were in the elevator,’ he said vaguely, but Leo still knew he meant the day they’d met. ‘I was so scared being up here, thought for sure I was going to fail and that I’d have to go back to Chicago to beg for my job back, but you… you’d been the first to see me, you believed in me, how- how’s a guy not supposed to fall in love with that?’

Leo swallowed, he’d know those words anywhere no matter how they were changed, and he swore he wasn't sentimental, but he thought he might be as Jack looked up at him with a vulnerability he hadn’t seen since the funeral. ‘It’s a good thing you didn’t, I would've made you buy,’ he joked, but Jack was serious, and he didn’t say anything as the other man leaned in to kiss him again. He didn’t know what an afterglow was like, he was used to the others getting up and leaving while he had a smoke and got back to work, that was what worked best for him now that he’d gotten it out of his system and could go another week pretending that he was into all the pretty girls who tried to woo him to get onto the show, just for a little bit.

He turned them all down, he couldn’t fake an orgasm to save his life and any one of those girls could out him on that when he didn’t let them on the show after such a poor performance, but now-

Now he wouldn’t have to, they would never ask Jack himself after crying on live TV over his wife, and now Jack could come to him whenever one of the guests got a little too friendly, he didn’t have to watch him entertain them anymore. He chuckled to himself when they parted before rolling over to grab a smoke from the other nightstand, losing himself in the thought all the way up to flicking the ignitor, and he stopped with the cigarette in his mouth before remembering that Jack had quit. He quickly apologized but Jack just took it from him, lit it up, and enjoyed one single puff before handing it over.

‘I’m more concerned with the drinking, little late to cure more lung cancer if I’ve got it,’ he figured as Leo took his own puff, although that thought of that made him falter and hold it a bit too long.

‘Should we get that checked when I make sure I’m clean this weekend?’ he suggested, but Jack shook his head.

‘Already did, it skipped me, but if you want to…’ He trailed off, Leo exhaling again before putting it out, he could live with that much. ‘I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you to it too, to see you like that, I wouldn’t be able to come back to the studio knowing you weren’t there, it was hard enough going home to an empty house back then,’ he admitted, and Leo swore to himself that he’d quit too, cold turkey, if it meant he wouldn’t put the man beside him through that again.

‘We can do that, then,’ he decided, their first decision as a whatever they were, and Jack slightly smiled at him as another tear fell. ‘Christ, never thought I’d get clean because of anyone, let alone because I wanna do it for you,’ he muttered like he truly couldn’t believe it, but deep down he knew that he would’ve done it sooner had Jack asked, would’ve done it the moment Madeleine got diagnosed if he’d said those words to him. He knew it, and he could’ve sworn that Jack knew it too as he found his hand and held it.

Jack was always a cuddler, he liked to be near those he loved and it made him inseparable from Madeleine until the end, and while Leo exactly wasn't the physical affection type, he never could keep his hands off Jack, and he let him curl up against him with a sigh that didn’t sound as forced as he’d wanted.

‘Y'know we can’t tell Gus about us, right?’ he said to the ceiling when Jack started to fall asleep again, and he came back to life at the sound of Leo’s voice. ‘He’s a God fearing man, he’s bound to have a sermon or two ready if either of us let it slip.’

‘Gus is fine, he seemed surprisingly interested when I casually pitched to him the possibility of having Bianca and her wife come on to talk about their lives, they’ve been talking about telling their family,’ Jack yawned, Leo raising an eyebrow at him again.

‘Pretty personal confession to a patient,’ he frowned, and Jack shook his head as the sleep started to take him again.

‘I told her about myself, which prompted her to tell me, it’s because of her that I wanted to do this tonight,’ he confessed, he was too tired to save this for when he was fully conscious, and Leo rubbed at his eyes again at the mental image of Jack coming out to some random woman only to come to the conclusion that he needed to finally confess after what was probably a very long session about the both of them, not just him.

‘Should’ve told me after how long we’ve known each other, but… I guess I get it,’ he figured, Jack nodding just slightly over his chest, he was almost gone. ‘So we get these lesbians on air, talk about therapy or something, and then you and I announce to the whole world that we’re now, what? Fucking, dating, living together?’ Jack mumbled out a confirmation, he had no idea what was going on on the other side of his eyelids. ‘It sounds nice, honestly, to imagine a world where we could do that and now lose the show, and the crew.’ No response, just light snoring. ‘It’s nearly the 80s now, dawn of a new decade coming up in just a couple years, maybe times will change before the next century, maybe one day you can talk to everyone about your own life, and I’ll be out there with you.’

He was talking too much only because he knew Jack couldn’t hear him, he was sentimental.

‘I think I want that for us, if we’re really doing this, fuck, 49 years of hiding and sleeping around with whoever I could find out there, I dunno how you did it for so long,’ he continued quietly, or maybe he was thinking it, sleep was starting to take him too now that he finally knew how warm an afterglow could be. Jack had pulled himself over his arm, and Leo fought to bend it until he could hold him back, the latter now even more on his chest to allow it. He looked down at him in the dark, he’d wanted this sight for so long that he still couldn’t believe he could have it, and he was definitely sentimental as he leaned over just enough to press a kiss to the top of Jack’s head.

He felt him grin against his bare chest before draping a leg over him, he must’ve smothered Madeleine all the time in their bed back in the day, and he shut his eyes and willed her from his mind for good. He apologized to her as she left, but Jack wasn't the only one who hadn’t let her go in all this time, and he prayed that she could finally rest as he ran his fingers through the short strands at the back of Jack’s neck, he’d take care of him for her, for the both of them, from now on.

#Ray's Fics #david dastmalchian #Jack Delroy #Leo Fiske

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azurlily · 11 months ago

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Please write more Annie x fem reader

Our Unparalleled Love for You is being discontinued. It didn't get the traction I wanted and some people unfollowed me because of it(someone dmed me). Things like that will only be written upon request. If you're worried just please be upfront about what you want and ask anonymously.

Anyway I'm sorry it's short, I've been in the hospital and the other writers aren't writing on the acc anymore.

Yan!Annie x Colossal Titan!Reader

What happened?

Those words were desperately trying to leave Annie's mouth, but she was failing herself. Beretoldt is dead, and you inherited his titan. The girl whom Annie had saved from titans more times than she saved herself.

Why you?

The idea that someone like you, someone so...human. Normal, kind, willing to save others. How could someone like you be a titan, and the most destructive one at that? How could someone who hid behind Reiner when she(Annie) was mad do this? It doesn't make sense.

When did it all go wrong?

Annie is no idiot, she knows that to an extent, you were acting. You always had that look in your eye, like you knew something was wrong with what you said. You never truly said anything, therefore she never acknowledged it.

Why did you do this?

It was you or Berthold- why did she choose you? Why did she choose a girl she barely knew, when Beretoldt was the one she grew up with? It doesn't make sense, it doesn't add up. Why do you make her smile, why do you make her feel things shes never felt before?

Could it have gone differently?

Annie wanted to tell herself it could have gone differently. The idea that she could have chosen Beretoldt in another universe, it gave her clarity clarity that was stripped away when she saw your face: fear, anger, anguish, and confusion. You didn't get what was going on.

What is doing to herself for you?

Anything; Annie would do anything for you, and no matter what she tries to tell herself, you both know it. The look in her eyes isn't one of anger, she isn't as scared as she's deluding herself to be. No, she's not stupid. One of the thing she prides herself on: she knows what to do. But in that moment, she didn't. She could save herself or save you.

"Trust me."

Annie- despite telling herself differently- will always trust you. Until the day she dies Annie will put her life in your hands. With no regard for her safety, and no idea of what to do. She'd kill them all, just to save you. Armin, Reiner, her father. If it must be done, then so be it. Their just more blood spilled, more stains on the ground.

Monster or not, you'll still love her right?

Of course you would. Annie is risking everything for you, the least you can do is love her unconditionally. No matter what you feel, you know you're indebted to her. No matter how mean she is, no matter how mad she gets, no matter how many she kills. It's in your name, it's for you. You have to accept it, you will accept it right?

It's just a few bugs, why are you so scared to kill them, better yet, why do you help them?

They're not you. Annie doesn't care because they're not you. So why, why do you care about them? Your titan is made for destruction, yet you use it for protection. Not just of yourself or her, for others. Eren. What do you fucking see in a man, what does Eren have that she doesn't? Is it his titan? His power? She'll give it all to you, just stop staring at him. He's a bug. Not a person, not you.

You still wont leave her?

After everything she's done, you're still by her side. Even as she fights for someone she hates, even as she kills her former comrades. You still love her? Well, you're just as fucking crazy as she is.

#wlw #lesbian #im bad at this #women are hot #i cant write #yandere #annie leonhart #yandere annie leonhardt x reader #annie leonhart x reader #yandere annie leonhardt #fem reader #female yandere #lesbian yandere

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rosanna-writer · 1 year ago

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a simple name and everything has changed (2/?)

Summary: we said hello and your eyes look like coming home, Rhys POV chapters Or: Rhys's slow realization that he's mated to Prythian's most chaotic human (and how much he loves her for it) Warnings: implied/referenced sexual assault, discussion of food insecurity and disordered eating Word Count: ~3.4k

This is Rhys's POV of ch. thirteen: stay stay stay, which is the first morning back in the Night Court after getting out from Under the Mountain. Please note: I added an additional content warning for discussion of food insecurity and disordered eating for this chapter.

You can find it below the readmore or read the whole thing here on AO3.

Feyre was hungry. It wasn't the first time I felt hunger pangs clawing at her, and I still didn't understand how she ignored them as if they were nothing. Otherwise, her side of the bond was calm, and that was the only thing keeping the last remnants of my sanity intact.

Even flying didn't make me feel better, not like it used to. The trip from the townhouse to the House of Wind had never been difficult before, but the muscles in my shoulders were barking in pain by the time I landed on the balcony, even though it had only been a few short minutes.

Then suddenly none of that mattered because Feyre was waiting for me in clothes that couldn't possibly look more classically Night Court.

I hadn't known what she'd worn the last time she'd been in Velaris; I'd gotten glimpses out her eyes before she'd learned to shield, but Feyre didn't spend much time looking at herself. The matching peach pants and top were obviously hers—they fit too well to have been borrowed. The color suited her, bringing out the pink in her cheeks.

She looked healthy. Comfortable. Beautiful. Like she belonged here and always had, the Queen of Night in her rightful place in the House of Wind. I thought I'd only see it in my wildest dreams, but this was real.

Before the silence could become awkward, I said, "Night Court attire suits you." It might have been the biggest understatement of my life.

Her smile was hesitant, but it was there, the last piece falling into place. "All things considered, it would be strange if it didn't," she said, "but thank you, though."

It made me feel better, enough to remember my manners and that she was famished. I pulled out a chair and indicated for her to sit, then used magic to conjure up food from the kitchen. Feyre, by some miracle, didn't fight me, just immediately dug into breakfast with a fervor I hadn't seen anyone display since Cassian had been a youngling.

Feyre had never said it, but she didn't need to. There had clearly been long stretches of time in the mortal lands when she hadn't had enough to eat.

It was a relief to see her finally get a proper meal. She didn't seem to notice me staring, but I poured tea anyway just to have something to do with my hands. There was no point in talking until she was full.

When it seemed safe, I said, "Why did you leave?" There was no point in beating around the bush.

I braced myself for the answer while Feyre took her time choosing her words. Each second seemed to stretch into an eternity, but eventually she said, "It seemed presumptuous to stay."

Presumptuous. I couldn't fathom what could possibly have made her feel that way. "If it was something I—"

"You haven't done anything wrong. Really."

She sounded earnest, but something was clearly wrong or we wouldn't be having this conversation. "You climbed ten thousand steps yesterday."

For a long moment, she wouldn't look at me. I said nothing else, just gave her time and resisted the urge to find a crack in her shields and find out what she was thinking.

Voice soft, she said, "I just...thought you'd want space, now that you can finally have it."

My insides twisted with the realization that she'd done this for my benefit. The fact that she thought I'd want that, after everything…it made me feel like a failure. Feyre deserved to feel wanted.

"Not from you," I said, sighing and running a hand through my hair.

She moved closer and pressed her face to my shoulder, and at the contact, the bond uncoiled in my chest. I wrapped an arm around her, and it felt good to give into the instinct to pull her closer.

"I think I needed to hear you say that," she whispered.

With her face against my shoulder, she didn't see the way I pressed my eyes shut for a moment, careful not to let her feel my shame. I'd felt overwhelmed at setting foot in Velaris again, but I shouldn't have lost focus enough for her to even consider the possibility that I'd want her anywhere but at my side.

But there were other things I couldn't leave unsaid, and they'd be easier to get out when she wasn't looking at me. I forced myself to say, "Feyre, you're under no obligation to stay here, and of course I'll take you back across the Wall if that's what you want. I know you didn't understand what was happening when you accepted the bond. That said, as far as I'm concerned, the townhouse is yours, too. And even if it wasn't, I thought after everything you were at least comfortable enough to stay in my guest room for a night."

If Feyre wanted to return to the mortal lands and never see a faerie again, I wouldn't blame her. I didn't know much about what her life had been like before coming to Prythian, but if she wanted, she deserved to be able to return to it. And I needed to make it explicitly clear that the mating bond didn't mean I had any sort of claim over her.

Her choice. Always.

To my relief, she didn't move. "I was just trying to do right by you," she said, the words a bit muffled against my shirt.

That made two of us. I kissed the top of her head, the only part of her I could reach without shrugging her off of me, and hoped it was enough to show her that we were in this together. The situation was delicate and confusing, but…we'd figure it out.

"And I want to do the same for you. Apparently it's not nearly as simple as it sounds," I said. Her stomach was still churning; when I felt another hunger pang from her, I gently nudged her away and added, "Finish eating. It's been weeks since you've had a proper meal."

And because Feyre was nothing if not completely impossible, she just glared at my eggs until I took a bite. I resisted the urge to point out that I wasn't the one who'd fought the Middengard Wyrm on a mostly-empty stomach and then gone to bed without bothering to eat dinner. The look in her eyes was becoming familiar, the one that told me she'd have my head if I balked at what she wanted.

I could guess, though, what she'd experienced to make her grow into the sort of person who ignored their own gnawing hunger with practiced ease, all while pushing someone else to finish what was on their plate.

"For what it's worth," she said eventually, "I don't want to go back across the Wall, at least not permanently. I want to see for myself that my family is safe, but there's nothing left for me there."

Feyre wanted to stay in the Night Court. Perhaps it shouldn't have been a surprise, considering how at home she looked here, but the relief was strong enough that if I'd been standing, my knees probably would have gone weak.

But that wasn't the point, so I did my best not to look too obvious about it. Feyre had family out there somewhere, and the Mother only knew what lie Tamlin had spun when he'd ripped her from them. They probably thought she was dead.

And in a way, I supposed they were my family now, too. Azriel had likely already taken care of it—even if Feyre hadn't realized, accepting the bond had made her human family Night Court royalty by the laws of Prythian—but I made a mental note to confirm with him that they were under our protection.

"Then we'll go today," I said.

She stared at me in shock, which was strange. Tamlin had kidnapped her—of course making sure she reunited with her family was a priority.

"We don't have to. I don't want to pull you from Velaris when you've only just gotten back," she said.

And there it was again, that tricky matter of doing right by each other. It wasn't a concern, but…I understood why she'd think it was.

"I wouldn't begrudge you a reunion with you family after having one with mine last night." It was true, but it wasn't everything—the look she gave me made it obvious she knew that. If I'd been having this conversation with anyone else, I would have left things there, this was Feyre. It was safe to be honest with her. "There's quite a lot of work to do after the balance of power shifted and our…performance yesterday. The rest of the Inner Circle is handling it to spare me having to work so soon after returning. And...I don't know how to be around them just yet."

"Did something with them not go well last night?" she said after a moment.

I couldn't tell her what a mess I'd been; I wouldn't risk her feeling responsible for scaring me when she'd left. But I wouldn't lie, either. "Nothing like that, but last night we were all so relieved we didn't really talk. We're all furious with each other, and I'm not looking forward to facing it."

"We'll go to the mortal lands another day, when you don't look dead on your feet." I winced—Cauldron, I hadn't realized I'd looked that bad. It had been a sleepless night, though. Feyre must have misunderstood because she continued, "We don't get along. It's…complicated."

That was hardly a surprise, something I'd suspected was true since that first conversation in her cell Under the Mountain. The morning after Calanmai, I'd written it off as healthy suspicion of a faerie claiming to be her mate after what must have been an incredibly strange night, but even then, Feyre had clearly struggled to believe someone else might be in her corner. It had probably kept her safe. But…people from happy families didn't think like that.

"Contrary to popular belief, I do try to stay out of your head. I don't even know how many siblings you have." It was the truth, but she wouldn't be the first person to accuse me of sneaking past mental shields to poke around for information. I wasn't above prying if it were someone else, but I'd never do that to her.

She seemed to believe me, at least. And then somehow we found ourselves in the middle of a conversation about our sisters, chatting as if we'd always eaten breakfast together. I'd dreamed about being here with her, about things being this comfortable and easy, but it had always been just a dream, a pleasant imagining to get lost in and forget about being Under the Mountain for a while.

But now it was a reality, and I let myself slip into it.

It only lasted so long, though. The exhaustion of two nights without sleep was bound to catch up to me, and from the way Feyre was stretching, I could tell she was sore from her fight with the Wyrm. I wanted to get her off her feet and resting again.

"Let's get you back to the townhouse so you can sleep," she said.

"I'm not sure I can." I needed it, but I wasn't sure I could relax enough to manage.

"You're going to collapse if you don't." The words came out a bit sharp, and she must have realized it because she spoke more softly as she added, "Try falling asleep on me. My scent helps, doesn't it?"

"You don't have to do that." There was nothing more soothing than Feyre's lilac-and-pear scent, but after what she'd just told me about her family, I didn't want to be another person depending on her. Feyre was only nineteen, but she'd already done more than enough caretaking to last a lifetime.

She stepped closer, taking both of my hands, and I had a sudden urge to pull her flush against me. Cauldron, it was as if the mating bond wouldn't let up.

"Now that I've eaten, I'm taken care of. It's your turn. We'll get back to the townhouse, and I promise once you're asleep I'll stay so you don't wake up alone."

I started to say something else to reassure her that I wouldn't be be another burden for her shoulder, but before I could, she'd closed the distance between us and kissed me. I lost my train of thought. At least, though, I wasn't the only one who'd wanted to be closer.

But as she pulled away, the realization that I wouldn't be able to fly her down to the street hit me like a punch to the gut. "My wings…I can't— I barely made it up here. I'm not strong enough to carry someone down, not anymore." I hadn't thought that far ahead when I told her I'd come to the House of Wind, and it had been a stupid oversight.

Some emotion I couldn't quite read flashed across Feyre's face for a moment. It was gone before I could ask, replaced by a smile I knew better than to point out that I could tell was forced.

"Then another day we'll see if you have the softest landings to go with the biggest wingspan."

I stilled, not sure I'd heard her correctly for a moment. It had been a very long time since I'd heard anyone make a joke about wingspan size. And to hear it come from the mouth of my human mate of all people…Mother above, who'd explained the significance of that to her?

I was suddenly very afraid to find out what my family had told her about me after she'd learned to shield.

But it was hard to be worried about anything with Feyre grinning at me, blue-grey eyes bright with mischief. She'd known exactly what she'd been doing. My heart squeezed as I let her tug me towards the stairs.

I'd never really enjoyed taking the stairs in the House of Wind, but it wasn't nearly as awful with Feyre there. I fought exhaustion the whole way, mostly making conversation to keep myself awake. I wasn't sure I'd survive the humiliation of passing out and being carried the rest of the way down.

The last thing I remember before sleep finally claimed me was her scent and her fingers running through my hair. I don't think I'd ever felt more safe.

But it was hard to stay asleep. Even though I probably could have passed out for a day—and needed it—I was stirring only a few hours later. Her scent was there again, still in my nose.

Just like it had been when I'd woken up from dreams of her Under the Mountain.

There was warm skin against my face. Perhaps…perhaps it had all been a dream and that skin belonged to—

No. No, it wasn't that bitch—the smell was coming from whoever's stomach my nose was resting against. I was still asleep on Feyre. Not a dream, then. She was still sitting here and had been for quite a while.

"Feyre?" I said. "You're still here."

"I'm not going anywhere," she said.

I sat up, a bit more alert now. Feyre brushed my cheek with her thumb, and I pressed my face against her hand, letting the feel of her skin on mine ground me in reality. "Your scent was in my dreams before I even met you. For a moment, I thought this might be a dream again."

"We made it out," she said, soft but insistent.

I nodded, repeating those words in my head and wondering when it wouldn't be so hard to believe them. Feyre pulled her hand away, and my eyes dropped to her tattoo.

I'd known about it, of course. I'd even seen it out of her eyes once or twice. She'd been glamoured Under the Mountain, and over breakfast I'd been too preoccupied with other things to really look closely. But now I did.

High Lady of the Night Court.

It wasn't her title yet, but it would be. I knew deep down in my bones that the design would be filled in the rest of the way one day. But there was still something miraculous about the tangible evidence before me that I wasn't just a lovestruck fool for thinking Feyre was nothing less than a queen.

The Night Court itself agreed with me.

There wasn't time to dwell on that. I'd rest more later—I wanted to check in with the rest of the Inner Circle and make sure that there hadn't been any new emergencies. I stood, unfurling my wings and smoothing out my tunic.

"I have to debrief with the Inner Circle this evening, and you should be present for that," I said, surprising even myself with how composed I sounded.

Feyre shot me another look. "Is it at all related to the dinner plans Azriel mentioned while you were asleep?"

"Ideally no, but it will be a working dinner if necessary."

She nodded, though she still looked hesitant, as if she were bracing herself for something before she said, "If someone's coming here from the House of Wind, then would they be able to bring my things?"

Feyre wanted to stay with me. Not just in the Night Court, but here. In the townhouse. She'd looked unsure of something, so I was careful not to overwhelm her by letting it show how utterly relieved and elated I was.

It did beg the question of who'd be sleeping where, though. And I wasn't ready to have the conversation. She'd already run off once, and I didn't want to presume she wanted to share a bed—and even if she did, I wasn't sure how she'd feel about my hands turning to talons when I had nightmares.

"You'll find them in the room across the hall from mine," I said, reaching out with my magic to move everything. It was so easy now that I was back to my full power.

As I left to wash up, I caught sight of a report from Azriel on the end table. That must have been why he'd dropped by, then. I reached out and found his mind, and at the first scrape of a talon, he let me in.

All is well, before you ask.

I gripped the edge of the sink, momentarily overwhelmed at the feeling of my brother's mind and the sound of his voice in my head again. It had been so long. I'd missed him.

Is it?

Yes. Sentries have been posted around the Archeron estate, and wards are in place. They're safe, and so is the Night Court. We'll see you at dinner.

Thank you.

I have one thing to show you, though.

There was a slight shift in Azriel's mind, a door opening to let me into a memory. I stepped through.

From Azriel's perspective, I saw myself asleep on the sofa earlier today, my head in Feyre's lap. The dark circles under my eyes were more prominent than I'd realized, and I'd spent so much time unable to look at myself Under the Mountain that I'd forgotten how pale I'd become—no wonder Feyre had seemed so worried this morning.

A warm feeling washed over Azriel at the sight of me resting and Feyre comfortable as she stroked my hair. Like everyone else, he'd been worried when she'd run off last night. It wasn't Azriel's business…but he'd been concerned about where Feyre and I stood all the same.

"He just got to sleep," Feyre was saying, low and threatening, "so if you're here to talk to him, it had better be urgent. Come back later if it's not."

The memory faded after that. As Azriel put his shields back up, he said, Make her happy, Rhys. She deserves it.

I wasn't sure what I'd expected, but Feyre—a human who'd only learned to properly throw a punch two months ago—had nearly picked a fight with one of the most powerful Illyrian warriors in history. All because she thought I needed rest.

I wanted to laugh. I wanted to kiss her again.

By some miracle, an underfed human teenager had appointed herself the protector of the High Lord of the Night Court. And I don't think I could have been in better hands.

I just stood there for a moment, blinking at my reflection and overwhelmed by how much I loved Feyre Archeron.

#feysand #we said hello and your eyes look like coming home #a simple name and everything has changed #sometimes you've just gotta write Rhys simping

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atropalugosi · 1 year ago

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teehee what if mc remembered getting a bad end before things got reset and then she ended up going back to the person who killed her in the last timeline but now she has nightmares about them and generally fears for her life when they act a certain way sometimes?

anyway donna fans, i am back with some hurt/comfort, please enjoy :o3

Valeria runs so fast she feels like her entire being is aflame with anxiety. Her pursuer is just as fast though and she knows she has no time to stop or think or hide, so on she runs, through the dark nursery until she reaches the inevitable dead end at the very back. She could maybe turn back and hop the beds if she trusts her own dexterity enough for the task, get back out into the shop and escape... except Miranda is there. There's no time to ponder upon escape anymore anyhow. Donna slows as she descends upon Valeria, and the girl almost thinks maybe she's snapped out of it, maybe they're safe, maybe they can get out of this, together.

Maybe wishful thinking hurt worse than accepting the ugly truth. Valeria cries out in terror as she's wrestled to the ground, adrenaline fueled strength only helping her so much against Donna's naturally stronger self.

"Nonono! Don't do this, Donna, please don't!" The redhead sobs, struggling to get out from under the older woman. She stops when something wet drips onto her cheek and she looks up. Donna is crying. Tears roll heavily down her cheeks, collecting with the blood and dirt on them before crashing down on Valeria. She doesn't want to do this.

Valeria lifts a hand to Donna's face, gently brushing the tears away. Scared as she was, it hurt her more to see her favourite person suffering than what she knew was coming next. She feels the heavy 'thump' against her chest and hears a horrible, loud 'crack' long before the stinging of broken skin and shattered sternum register. She thinks she might be screaming or crying but everything is just too much to really notice. The sensation hits her again and again, and she watches as more gore sprays Donna's teary face as everything around them starts to blur and fade to black.

Valeria wakes with a start, crying out and pushing herself away when the first thing her nightmare riddled mind sees is Donna sleeping next to her, ending up toppling to the floor. For having such a rude awakening herself, the botanist is quick to get up, turning on the lmap on the side table. She takes careful but worried steps towards Valeria's shivering form, now tucked back against the wall and trying very hard to breathe.

"Dolcézza, are you alright?" Her voice drips with concern. She slowly kneels before the redhead, reaching out to provide a comforting touch. Valeria looks at her hand as though it would kill her but doesn't stop her, leaning into the touch with a shakey exhale.

"I had... it was... a nightmare," the girl fights to say, nose scrunching slightly at her own words. It WAS a nightmare, but it also felt so fucking real. She raises a hand to her own chest, pressing roughly into the clammy skin to make sure. No blood; no gaping wounds; no broken ribcage. Just her racing heartbeat.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Valeria shakes her head violently in response. She didn't even want to think of the nightmare again, nevermind retell it. Especially not to Donna. She'd never forgive herself for making Donna worry about this, spending the next days or weeks or months wondering if she'd done something wrong to make her dream up a scenario so awful.

"Can you just hold me? Please?" She asks, leaning into Donna's chest and inhaling the scent of her and her nightclothes. Two arms wrap protectively around her and she feels safer than ever.

"Of course, bambola. I've got you," Donna whispers, pressing a kiss to her temple. "I won't let anything harm you." Despite having just experienced the opposite, Valeria believes her.

This time, she's safe.

#donna beneviento #donna beneviento/reader #valeria (maiden oc)#resident lover #my writing #lugosi speaks #haha what if you were forced to murder me in another life but i kept coming back to you over and over again hoping to break the cycle and #live happily ever after with you?#and we were both girls?#haha jk... unless?

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yandere-fics · 1 year ago

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yandere alphabet for Miriel? 😢

(I can't believe it took this long for my first character to get her own alphabet, poor Miriel.)

♡ Miriel's Yandere Alphabet ♡

♡ Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get? ♡

♡ She shows her love with mostly physical affection and cuddling. She also does enjoy taking the reader shopping but that's only on non-crowded days cause she can get a bit anxious about losing you in public. Her love gets very intense, leading to fits of intense sadness and rage, though never at you, if you deny her affection. She'll start tracing your day back in her mind to see who could have made her darling deny her like this. She knows there's no way her soulmate would deny her in this way right? The best thing to do if you don't want someone to have their life ruined is to pretend you're sick when you don't want to cuddle, at least then she thinks it's her fault and goes and cries silently in between taking care of you. ♡

♡ Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling? ♡

♡ She doesn't get very messy, she never has to as the resident nepo baby. While Miriel sucks at her job, she still has a very high up position which is why she stays in the city instead of returning to her village right away. Beyond that she knows exactly who to talk to in order to ruin someone's life. The most you'll get is her lighting a fire to yours or the rivals apartment, and even then she'd be more likely to pay someone to do it, and she'd make sure you're far away when it happens. Oh no, now you need to live with her. ♡

♡ Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them? ♡

♡ Why would this softie ever say a single harsh word to her darling? If you even said one slightly negative thing about yourself, then she's crying, you could bump into something and be like, "I'm so clumsy." and she would tear up because how could you see yourself that way, you are perfect and there's nothing wrong with you, it's her fault for making her apartment so easy for you to bump into things. Or it's her fault that you're standing up in the first place, she should grab everything for you. ♡

♡ Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will? ♡

♡ Forced cuddling and kisses but Miriel isn't much for making out so it's mostly kisses on the forehead unless you initiate a make out. If you never initiate then she'll be content just holding you all the time and maybe smelling your hair sometimes. She'll also occasionally force you to wear clothes she bought for you unless you have your own very specific sense of fashion. She might try to force you to sit on her lap as she works cause work is so boring and she really needs company, she's very lonely. ♡

♡ Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling? ♡

♡ It's all out there and to be honest, it's pathetic, so many of her emotions are just general sadness. Don't get me wrong, she can be happy especially if her darling is willing but most of the time you stand up from cuddling too quickly and all of a sudden you have to console her and promise that it had nothing to do with her. ♡

♡ Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back? ♡

♡ As already stated above, she would feel like someone else has forced her darling to do this or has tricked you in some way because why else would you leave your soulmate? Or she'll think she has done something wrong and isn't living up to your expectations. She'll try really hard to do better which might wind up pushing you even further away. ♡

♡ Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape? ♡

♡ She would never treat love like just a game, this is very serious and every time you try to escape she feels a part of her slowly dying. Seeing you try to leave all the time really just makes her feel inadequate as a soulmate. Elves in general are one of the weaker types and they aren't able to sense their mates feelings like others can so she feels like she wouldn't have these issues if she could just sense what you were feeling like other supernaturals in the city. ♡

♡ Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them? ♡

♡ Your worst experience would be losing all of your friends or anyone who was too close to you before, slowly they're all threatened away or given new opportunities in order to thank them for being good friends to you but that still accidentally drives them away since now they don't have time for you. Miriel doesn't hate you having friends, she'll become their friends too but even then having her around all the time sort of isolates you. You'll feel very lonely but luckily you can't be alone if she's by your side. ♡

♡ Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling? ♡

♡ Marriage, what else could she possibly want? She would likely want to take you back to her village at some point when it becomes her time to be leader. I can't imagine her ever wanting children even if you want them, she's just way too jealous and attention seeking to be willing to allow your attention to go towards anyone else, even your child, for longer than maybe an hour. ♡

♡ Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope? ♡

♡ When Miriel is jealous, she cusses a lot and her tone might get a bit snippier although she'll try to reassure you that it's not your fault as long as she isn't too jealous. If she's too jealous then she'll be mostly grumbling curse words underneath her breath until you're away from the threat. ♡

♡ Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling? ♡

♡ Very sweet and lovable, she might also be a bit stupid around you. She's dumb with emotions although she is one of the smartest yandere's in the city. She feels so many emotions when she's near you or thinking about you or anything to do with you so it makes it a bit hard to think clearly. You want to do this ridiculous thing? Sure go ahead, she won't question it as long as it doesn't involve being away from her or anything that might hurt you. ♡

♡ Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling? ♡

♡ What courting? You two are soulmates so there's no courting, she approaches you and expects you to immediately feel the bond. She will still be sweet to you once you two are together and will spoil you rotten but there's no courting phase, you two are just together from the start. ♡

♡ Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else? ♡

♡ She's very cold when she's around everyone else, mostly because she thinks humans are dumb except for you and maybe your friends, but she mostly is only around you so the only people besides you that she interacts with are her coworkers and she hates work, she really doesn't want to have to do it. ♡

♡ Naughty: How would they punish their darling? ♡

♡ What could you ever do to make her punish you? If you ever did anything then it is others who need to get punished or herself for not being good enough. That said while she doesn't intend to punish you, it does feel like punishment when she locks you in the apartment crying hysterically until your lover's quarrel ends. It also feels like a punishment when she ruins your friends lives although she really didn't mean to hurt you too, she just wanted to get rid of whoever turned you against her. ♡

♡ Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling? ♡

♡ The right to privacy mostly, you can still leave the apartment but it has to be at her side or with one of your friends who she really trusts, otherwise you can really do whatever you want within reason, obviously you can't date anyone else so you don't have the freedom to choose who you want to be in a relationship with but it's not like she tells you what to wear or forces you to cut people off. She also might even let you work if you really like your job and you're not trying to run from her. ♡

♡ Patience: How patient are they with their darling? ♡

♡ Depends on your definition of patience, sure she'd never snap at her darling but if they are showing even slight hesitation in showing her affection then she might start to cry just a little bit though she'll hold it back as long as you give her the affection quickly. She does start to get a bit weird if her darling is pushing her around too much and she might want to lock you in the apartment if you push her too much but that can be fixed easily by blaming your lack of affection on someone else. ♡

♡ Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on? ♡

♡ No, elves die with their mates. Luckily elf mates are able to gain the lifespan of their partner once the bond is solidified enough so the mates rarely pass away unless they're killed or something. ♡

♡ Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go? ♡

♡ She's delusional, everything she's done is something that any good mate would do, you get one soulmate and you must do everything to ensure they're with you even if the world is trying to split you apart. She might "let you go" in the sense that if you're very firm and tell her you need some time to process the whole soulmate thing, but she'll probably be back in a week ready to start your relationship. ♡

♡ Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)? ♡

♡ It's both her entitlement as a spoiled nepo baby, and as an elf who has always been taught that she has to do everything to lock her mate down. Elves have a vague sense of who their mate will be since they're young so she always knew she'd have a human mate and she knows humans just don't fully understand so she needs to hold tight until you finally get it. ♡

♡ Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves? ♡

♡ She's screaming and crying and trying to hug and comfort you until you stop. If you isolate yourself then she'll think you must be in a bad mood because either she did something wrong or someone else hurt you so she needs to do her best to fix whatever made your mood so sour. ♡

♡ Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere? ♡

♡ She's a bit softer than an average yandere and a lot less murderous. ♡

♡ Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape? ♡

♡ Her delusionality, promise to be right back and that you're just going to the store and even if you're gone for a long time she'll feel like there's no way you would have left her although she'll likely go check if it takes too long but she won't even realize that you've run off, she'll just think someone else has taken you or tricked you away from her. Not that you could get out of the city since I'm sure the boss would notice one of her diplomates darlings is just roaming unattended and she'll be sure to send Miriel that helpful tip in exchange for more work. ♡

♡ Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling? ♡

♡ Not on purpose, she might hold onto you too hard but she'll feel so bad once she realizes and might not even want to cuddle with you for at least a day afterwards. ♡

♡ Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over? ♡

♡ Anything that Miriel has to give, she will give you. Even the most ridiculous requests can be fulfilled if you ask in the right way. She worships the ground you step on and you're just so perfect that you could punch her while you try to escape and she'd justify it as you just being scared which means someone else must of made you fear her. ♡

♡ Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap? ♡

♡ I wouldn't call it snapping but if they're with her but refuse to move in together then your apartment might get burned to the ground. This would require the perfect scenario though where you've teased Miriel or made her delusionality worse somehow. For example if you're relying on Miriel's money then she'll start to feel like you have no reason for an apartment anymore cause she'll take care of you so much better if you move in. Generally if you let Miriel take care of you even financially then she'll snap quicker. ♡

♡ Zenith: Would they ever break their darling? ♡

♡ She might ruin the lives of everyone around you which might break you depending on how close you were to those people but beyond that she's relatively nice enough to not break her darling although their dreams might get crushed if they aren't careful to placate her all the time. ♡

#yandere oc #yandere lesbian #yandere x reader #yandere x y/n #yandere asks #yandere scenarios #my oc mirial

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kittrrrr · 4 months ago

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This going to be so short but I'm on a trip and writing on my phone :/ for @/rebornofstars 's sepfember, which I'll link later. Might be triggering?

(@postal-strawberry 's addtion ELLIE AND MASON HOUSE 💜)

===

It didn't feel real. Surely it wasn't real. But despite how shocking it was to Zelda, she knew. It was hard to explain... the words, that realization had sent some deep feeling inside of her. The feeling had always been there. She'd just never taken it in, acknowledged the presence of the light. It... it was wrong.

She wasn't much of anybody, in the real, real word. Sure, her father was the instructor of the knight academy. That was just a job. It was an important one, sure. It didn't matter to the birds floating over head and the branches waving in the wind. ...To be a goddess given mortal form? That,on the other, was something that the bones of the earth abd the eyes of the sky knew. Now that she knew, it almost felt like the entire world was leaning away from her. She wasn't supposed to be here, not as she was. Light should have been flowing through views instead blood.

It wasn't right. It was as it needed to be. Zelda let herself slid into the icy water. So what if her dress was getting wet? Her life, her reason... it wasn't hers. She was not here because she wa always going to be; she was here for mission. What would happen after? After the fighting and the praying and the killing? What would happen to her then. Her only purpose gone. Hylia would surely find some way to ascend - who would want to be stuck as human- and Zelda... Zelda wasn't sure what would happen to her. Would it matter?

She's not sure she does. Just a tool, using her best friend, someone she's know since they were six, as a tool. A tool to fix what's broken, nothing more. And that's assuming that everything is fixed. The world, this beautiful green paradise, blazing desert molten volcano, and floating islands, would all be gone. Her purpose wouldn't matter then.

A single touch on her shoulder startled her out of her thoughts. Training from the knight academy kicked in and she went for the knees of her attacker, who gracefully dodged. Impa.

"Your grace. If you are done for the day, we must move on. Preferably without you hurting me, as that would impact my ability to protect you." Impa stated. Her voice was soft but undeniably stern. Zelda nodded, following quietly. "Your grace. Is something wrong?" Zelda nearly shook her head but stopped.

"No. I'm not sure anything is." She whispered instead. Impa stopped, and Zelda could practically hear her eyebrows furrowing. The ninja made a go on sign with her hand and Zelda hummed. "I... I was just wondering what would become of me after. After everything is said done." Impa paused for worryingly long amount of time. She started to walk again.

"Zelda, you and her grace are... are not the same. You were born with her powers, and might be able to hear her voice easier then most, but you are not her. I never met her grace, as she was already gone by the time I was born, but you and her could not be more different. You share some things, but by no means would I say your personalities are similar. To say that you are her is simply not true. It is more... that she speaks through you."

Zelda nodded. She let her shoulders sag for just a moment before pulling them back into the impeccable posture that Impa had trained into her. She might not know what would happen after everything. But she would be here to see it.

#legend of zelda #the legend of zelda #loz #tloz #zelda #sksw #loz sksw #sksw zelda #princess zelda #fanfiction #sepfember

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redprotons · 11 months ago

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First Aid - DoctorRose Bingo

Summary:

Rose ends up hurt on the estate at a time where the Doctor is avoiding her at all costs.

Notes:

warnings: minor description of injury, hint of past turbulent relationship, emotional angst, swearing.

Embarrassed, really. She was embarrassed more than anything. She’d lost count how many planets and people she helped save – not that she ever counted, but still, she knew it was a LOT. She’d faced death hundreds of times, outsmarted aliens; Ice Warriors, Slitheen, the flood. She’d done all that and come out with barely a scratch, and she trips down the stairs… just off of the estate… stairs she’d walked up and down her whole life, and, she was pretty sure, broken her arm.

God, what a bloody plonker she was, the throbbing pain was well deserved.

For a while she just sat on the steps, staring into space. Part of her thought she was in shock, but shock that she’d been hurt like this, this after everything else that had tried to kill her in the last week alone.

It was her own fault, though.

She’d spotted Jimmy’s mother in Tesco. A wretched woman who she once tried so hard to please, but no matter what she did there was always something wrong. She’d go to sleep crying some nights over dishes stacked the wrong way. And the worst thing was, because Jimmy was Jimmy, she truly believed it was her who was in the wrong – that she was being too sensitive, too much of a bitch, too whiny. Well, she wasn’t such an idiot these days - ha. She strode right up to the hag and gave her a piece of her mind, and maybe, just a little, looking to reassure herself. She launched into how her son was a horrible piece of shit who manipulated women – because she knew she was not the first, she was just convinced into believing otherwise back then – and bled them dry, and it was no surprise because she was a horrible mother in which her perfect little angel could do no wrong, and thank God her family got her out before he dragged her down with him.

She was expecting a fight – screams of ‘how dare you talk to me like that!'.

Instead, Laura Stone burst into tears, sobbing uncontrollably.

Jimmy was dead, killed way back in the Auton invasion.

Utterly mortified, she fumbled out an apology and left, her cheeks burning, fully accepting, that from now on until she perished, she’d have to walk a mile out of her way to the Sainsbury's local further down the road.

It felt weird. She wasn’t sad he was dead… or maybe she was. It was all sort of muddled. She was absolutely in love with him at one point in her life after all – would do anything for him. But the fact it was Jimmy was almost insignificant. No, it was more because someone from her past had died. Someone she knew from school had lost their life to the adventures she lived every day. It made it real; the danger. The fact that she could die, that her mum, that this world's Jackie Tyler, could really die. That Mickey might be dead, but now she would never know.

It was more difficult to convince herself it would never happen to the people she cared about, when it already, in a way, had. And she'd not had a clue.

Maybe Jack had died after all, and the Doctor decided to let her live in ignorance.

It scared her, and that horrid niggle in her stomach lingering from Pete's Jackie's death intensified.

Taking a deep breath in, and an even longer breath out, Rose pushed it all down. Scared or not, it didn’t change the fact that her arm hurt… a lot. She would need to see someone about it and, as much as she had figured out, she had three options.

One, find the Doctor. She didn’t have anyway to contact him, but the Tardis wasn’t parked far away. She could call her mum to let her know something came up, and wait in the console room. He'd eventually come back from wherever he’d actually gone to hide from her. With all the advanced medical equipment on the Tardis, a broken bone would basically be first aid. She’d probably be able to go home for dinner, her mum none the wiser.

Two, call her mum to come and get her. They’d go to A&E, and she’d get patched up the old-fashioned way. And it takes so long to be seen, the Doctor would eventually worry something was wrong… she hoped, and call her. She’d lie, she’d stay a few days with her mum, and, with how he was acting at the moment, she doubted he'd notice.

And three, tell neither of them, and go to the Tardis and see if she could work out how to heal her arm herself.

At this present moment in time, she was leaning more towards three. The Doctor was being weird with her lately. Whether it was because of Mickey and Pete world’s Pete, or the whole France incident, she didn’t know, but he'd avoid her one adventure, then not leave her side the next. There was a dread in her gut that told her it was because he was getting ready to give her the chuck. Which she didn’t really want at the moment, and especially now. The Doctor made her feel safe, despite how much of an arse he could be, and with this sudden reality check, she wanted to be somewhere safe right now. But if he saw her hurt, and from such a stupid accident, it might speed up the process. And also, he was so annoyingly curious and bloody nosy, that he’d know the whole Jimmy story by the end of it, and she was, admittedly, ashamed of that chapter in her life… and sometimes, with this new-new doctor, she wondered if the same thing was happening all over again.

So, then there was her mum. With Mickey, and now Jimmy, she was extra sensitive. She missed home and missed her family and friends. She’d even made a plan to see Shareen while they were here. But her mum was also nosy, and she would question why she didn’t want to go to the Doctor to get sorted, and then she’d have to say, and then her mum would slap the Doctor into a new face, shout bloody murder at him, and threaten to cut off his crown jewels if he didn’t clean up his act.

Rose smiled despite herself.

The Doctor would never admit it, but he feared Jackie. Yet, more than Jackie, he feared any sort of social uncomfortableness. In his current body especially. He’d run to the Tardis and never come back. She’d have to get a job, and go back to the Rose she was before him. Which, she now realised, wasn’t that far below the surface as she initially thought.

Grimacing, she heaved herself off the step, walking in the direction of the Tardis.

So… three it was.

“Rose?” the Doctor asked, popping his head up through the grating just as she reached the corridor.

Her shoulders slumped, of course he was there – typical.

She plastered on a smile before she turned around. “Yeah?” she asked cheerfully.

His face dropped instantly. “What happened!” he asked, springing out of the gap in the grating and rushing over to her. His eyes were fixed on one side of her cheek, and she realised she must’ve hit her face as she tumbled. With the pain from her arm, she hadn’t noticed.

“It’s nothing.” she said.

“It doesn’t look like nothing.” he accused.

Yeah, well, he hadn’t noticed her arm yet. She didn’t say anything.

The Doctor pressed his lips together. There was an argument there, a demand, but he didn’t voice it. “Come on.” he said instead. “Let’s get that healed up.”

Then he took her hand, the broken one. The pain had already been getting worse the closer she got to the Tardis. She guessed it was the shock wearing off. His grip was sharp, and it really, really hurt. She couldn’t hold back the sob.

The Doctor let go instantly. “Rose?” he asked, the concern, and absolute horror that he’d hurt her, clear in his voice.

But the pain was too much. She’d been trying to be brave – be strong with everything she was feeling, but this was her limit. She started crying. He quickly scanned her with the screwdriver. God, she was so embarrassed.

“Okay, Rose, listen to me you’ll be fine. Rose? I’ll fix this, I promise.” She nodded through her tears. “Just stay here, don’t move. I’ll be right back.” he said, before rushing off into the depths of the Tardis.

When he returned, there was a ratty old gym bag slung over his shoulder. He must’ve sprinted the whole way, because he was out of breath, which he rarely was - all the running he did coupled with his ‘superior biology’ he loved to mention… all the time.

He was really worried.

“Okay, this -” he began jovially, unzipping the bag and pulling out a clunky metal tube cast that looked akin to a torture device crossed with a rusty cyberman arm. “- is the best bone healer of the 97th century, will fix you up in a jiffy.” he explained. “Just need to tune it up a bit and run a scan so it heals you nice and proper.” He beamed at her, an invitation – or maybe a plea – for any sort of positive response.

She felt too awful to muster the effort. She just wanted him to heal her up. She nodded.

The smile slid off his face, and he got to work. He was gentle, oh so very gentle, despite the clear tenseness in his shoulders as he worked – the way his jaw was set.

The machine made an ungodly rattling sound when he switched it on. A wave of tiredness crashed over her, while, at the same time, the pain dissipated and lifted her mood.

“Better?” he asked cheerfully.

She yawned and forced out a smile. “Yeah, thanks.” she said, and saw a little of that tension leave him. She knew he was going to ask, so she spoke before he had the chance. “I better get back to mum’s then.” she said. “She’ll be wanting the milk for her tea.”

“Did someone attack you.” he asked darkly, all preambles gone from his voice.

Her face fell. She hadn’t thought he’d drop the façade so quickly. Unable to meet his eye, she fiddled with her sleeve. “It’s so stupid.” she said. “I tripped down the steps at the back of Spring.”

The Doctor’s eyebrows shot up his forehead. “Spring?”

“The block with that little post office.” she clarified.

“Ah.” He studied her for a long moment. “And you tripped?”

“Yeah.” She didn’t look up.

“Rose.” From the tone of his voice it was obvious he didn’t believe her.

“It’s true!” she protested. “That’s why I didn’t say because it’s so bloody embarrassing – alright!” she snapped back at him.

He gaped stupidly for the second it took him to work everything out. Why was he so smart?

“It was that loose pave-stone, wasn’t it? That one you yourself warned me about. You’re always careful on those steps since you cut your knee open when you were a child – that’s what you said.” He was mad now. “Something happened. What was it? And more importantly, why’d you try and sneak off by yourself and not tell me.”

“I don’t have to tell you everything.” she bit back on the defensive. “You never do.”

He gaped at her, thrown that she’d brought such a topic up. Admittedly, she was a little startled herself. The conversation stopped and the hum of the Tardis filled the space. But the Doctor had to know. “Did someone push you? And you might as well tell me now, because you’ll know I’ll find out.”

Her fury bubbled over. He was threatening her like she was a Dalek, or a Cybermen or something. “Oh so you care again now? Make up your mind!”

The Doctor’s brows furrowed, then morphed into outrage. “Of course I care! Why would you ever think otherwise!”

She was the one baffled now – surely he couldn’t be that unaware of himself. “Oh, wow." she scoffed, remembering who she was talking to. "Okay, what about Sarah-Jane, you said you wouldn’t leave me, and then we end up on a spaceship where you leave me and Mickey to go… ‘dance’ with some French queen, without having anyway to get back? What about that time in after Rome – I mean we actually kissed, and then on Plass-6 you put me on a different team to you for a whole week, and worse with that arsehole robot Mars-65? And what about now!? You spent the whole time we were on Pete’s world with me, and now were here you’ve been hiding away on the Tardis for days… or wherever you’re lying about being!” she yelled.

Her breaths came out harsh while he just stood. She hadn’t planned on it all coming out, but it’d been building for so long, and she was so angry at him, it’d just sort of happened. Part of her wanted to apologise, but the other part of her thought, fuck it. All of it was how she really felt, and she shouldn't back down this time. “You know what? I’m going back to mum's for a few nights, so if you want to leave me behind, here’s your chance.”

Shereen took one look at her and hugged her tight. Honestly, it was what she needed. They ordered take-out and stuffed their faces with chocolates watching scary films. It was like she was a kid again. Yet, her mind kept wondering to the Doctor and his stupid puppy-dog eyes. She’d left before he healed the bruise on her face, so every time she laughed, he was there with her.

Oh, please, please, let the Tardis still be there when she got home.

She stayed another two nights at Shereen’s. They had a lot to catch up on, but really, the longer she stayed the more she could avoid the absolution of seeing the empty space where the Tardis was last parked.

As she rounded the corner, she held her breath, trying to prepare herself. The Doctor out of her life for good... oh, what had she done? She should’ve just shut up and said nothing… but it was too late now. She was brave, and she would face this.

The Tardis was still there.

Rose’s whole body unwound right to the core – the soul. He was still here. A smile lit up her face. Her walk turned into a jog towards the most brilliant blue box in the universe. She turned the key, stopping just as she opened the doors. She had to remember how she left things, she needed to brace herself.

He wasn’t there. She tried the usual places, the library, his workshop, the kitchen. Nothing.

“Mum have you seen –“

The Doctor poked his head cautiously around the hallway from the living room, like he’d taken a biscuit from the tin, and she knew he was the guilty party.

All the tension left. She smiled at him. “You’re here.”

Believing it safe, he stepped fully into the corridor. “Well I didn’t have a choice, she’s keeping me hostage.” he said, pointing to Jackie.

“Oh, give over. What are you like, honestly.” her mum complained, thwacking him on the arm as she walked over to Rose and gave her a big hug. “Have a nice time? Feeling better?”

She smiled. “Yeah, I did, yeah. Like we were kids again.”

The Doctor smiled at that.

“Right, there’s dinner in the oven if you want. I’m off to see Bev – she’s down for the week, over in Eltham, that guy she used to date Martin, he’s got a flat down there now, said he’d put her up, and you know what Bev’s like. She’s been asking for you, be nice for her to see you before you run off. Mind you, you know she’ll bring up that year bad-driver here brought you back – twelve hours my arse.” She gave Rose a kiss on the cheek, and reached behind her for the house keys.

The Doctor rubbed the back of his neck. “Sorry.” he added flatly.

She gave her mum another hug, grateful that she was making herself scarce so they could talk. “I will, promise.”

Rose could hear the hoover in the flat above, banging against the walls. For a while the two of them just stood watching each other, the Doctor rocking on his heals, his hands deep in his pockets.

“You said a few days. But then when you didn’t come back, I worried something else happened, so I asked Jackie. She told me you were at Shereen’s… been a prisoner ever since.” He gave a half-smirk, an invitation to joke.

She couldn’t help it. She smirked back, just for a moment. “What else did she say?”

His expression turned serious. “That you ran into an ex-boyfriend’s mother in the shops, and she upset you.” He paused, reconsidering whether or not to push on. “She didn’t tell me why.”

Thank you, mum, Rose thought. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

He studied her up and down. “Fair enough.” he said, dropping it, even though he hated not knowing things, especially about her. “It’s not because I care one second and not the next.” he said, throwing Rose off balance. She was sure they'd fall back into the same old routine, where they ran off to the next adventure and pretended stuff like this never happened. “It’s because I care too much, it terrifies me so I run, but I can never stay away for long.”

Rose’s jaw dropped. Her mind whirled so much it became a thick dough of goop. She tried to clear it, snap back. “Why are you telling me this?” she wondered out loud. “I mean we never talk about this stuff.”

The Doctor scoffed. “Why? Because you asked me to leave, Rose, and that’s only one step away from you leaving on your own, and I – I don’t want you to go.”

Okay now her head was really properly spinning.

He nodded to her arm. “I’m sorry I hurt you.” and she heard what he really meant.

She was taking it all in, but apparently, he wanted her to say something. “Am I?” he prodded fearfully.

Her brows furrowed, not putting it together. “Are you, what?”

“Going to lose you.” he said, the slightest crack in his voice, so quiet Rose convinced herself she was imagining it.

She straightened, standing tall. “Depends, if you keep messing me about.” she stated. “We act like we’re together; it feels like we’re together, but then you run off, or avoid me, and leave me wondering what I’ve done, or if I’ve read things wrong. So.” She stared him down. “Are we? No... wait.. do you want to be?”

The Doctor balked, his eyes wide. He shuttered his expression.

“And don’t lie.” she added. “Or say what you think you want me to hear.”

She waited, watching him in apprehension. He didn’t look at her, keeping his gaze on the carpet.

“Yes.” he said at last.

Oh.

She fumbled with her hands, not quite sure what to do next. She hadn’t expected this to happen quite so easily. “Right. Well. Okay then, will you stop running away from me now?”

He nodded weakly. “Yeah.”

Again she waited, but he didn’t look up. “Right, so… do you want to go down the chippy, then we can half what mum made for us?”

He glanced up at her, befuddled, his brow furrowed. “That’s it?” he asked disbelievingly.

She shrugged. “Well… yeah. Unless you have anything to add?”

He shook his head, unable to hide his utter relief. “No... nothing from me.”

“Right, good…. so… chips?”

He beamed. “Chips! Oh, yes!”

Walking through the estate, she felt his hand gingerly brush against hers before he took it. She linked arms instead, so she could snuggle into him. He let out a breath, and she felt the tension leave his body.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” he asked. “You don’t have to tell me what happened, but I need to know when you’re hurt.”

She pondered for a moment, then smirked at him. “Well, my face still hurts a little.” she admitted. “Don’t suppose you’ve got anything for it?”

He smiled at her, true gratefulness in his eyes. “Oh, Rose Tyler, I have just the thing.”

#doctorrosebingor2 #@doctorrosebingo #fanfiction #them <3 #my work :)#Doctor who

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