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redprotons · 27 days ago

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One night stand

For the Doctor Rose bingo - no warnings apply... but this is unbeta-ed

Feeling dejected, Rose jumps at the chance when a handsome alien starts flirting with her, not realising how much it would hurt the Doctor.

Rose honestly didn’t think it’d hurt him so much. Especially after leaving her behind for five and a half hours. After the longing looks, the high praise, for Madam pompadour, she was convinced that, despite the lingering hugs and increased handholding, he just didn’t see her that way. They were mates, nothing more, regardless of what Micky said.

Feeling down and ugly and missing Mickey, she decided to sod the Doctor and his issues for a bit. And when this really fucking hot, like whoa mumma hot, alien - tall, tanned but with a slight more pinkish hue to his skin, curly mop of perfectly styled hair and abs that gave a cheese grater run for her money – started flirting with her, decided she was going to have some fun. She needed it. And he was very, very… attentive.

The Doctor was silent, that was her first clue. He'd been there, he'd seen them talking together. At first, she jumped into that fake façade learnt from him, acting all excited rambling about adventure and dinosaurs, and a real life Jurassic Park. It didn't work, and she didn't like that. So, she did what she did best and, once the Tardis landed, she wandered off towards the quieter areas of the park, away from the crowds around the T. rex enclosure. He walked a step behind.

She sat down under the trees, on a raised platform, and looked out at plant eating dinosaurs she’d not seen in any books. They watched the herd with its young, eating giant leaves on the trees, the sun creating patches of light on their skin. In the distance, birds mixed with the cries of other dinosaurs.

“You... danced with that guy.” the Doctor said, his voice somehow grave and guarded at the same time.

“I’m sorry?” she spluttered.

“You slept with him. Canoodled. Cavorted. Whatever you want to call it.”

Oh. “What… we” She went to confess but then realised his tone. “That’s none of your business.” she floundered out angrily.

“Isn’t it?” he bit back. “I have the right to know what’s happening on my ship.”

“But it wasn’t on your ship, was it!” her voice got louder, sharper.

His face dropped. The hurt was plain on his face, but he hid it with anger. “I see.”

Oh, no. She suddenly felt like shit. She wanted to explain, but at that moment his hurt morphed to anger. “Why do you even care?”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” he snarled.

She scoffed. “Me? You’re the one acting so high and mighty. What? So I can’t go out and enjoy myself, but you can fawn around with any princess or mistresses you like?”

He instantly went to argue, but bitterly found he couldn’t, pressing his lips together.

“Yeah, exactly. So don’t you dare judge me.” she finished, and the sentence spurred on the insecurities that’d been building. He did judge her. Look down on her. “I’m sick of it. I get enough of that from strangers back home. I don’t need it from you.”

He kept his voice level. “I don't know what you mean.”

“Oh piss off.” she snipped.

“Rose.” he warned. “I'm serious. What do you mean?”

Was he actually that dense. She threw her arms up. “Oh, I dunno. She’s just a slag from the estates. A chav. Some stupid slapper. Well, I can do what I like.”

The anger that tensed the muscles in his face weakened a bit. He watched her for a second. “I didn’t mean it like that.” he said carefully.

She scoffed, tears pricking as she rolled her eyes.

“Rose.” he said, a tiny bit in his voice that sounded like a plead. She didn’t look at him. “I don’t think that about you. Never have. Never will.”

She wasn’t impressed. “Yeah, try five seconds ago.”

His voice became irritated. “I told you, I didn’t mean it like that!” he rushed out.

“Yeah. Then what did you mean, then!”

Startled, he dropped his head, unable to meet her.

“Yeah.” she scoffed. “That’s what I thought.” Putting on a brave face, she went to get up. He caught her by the arm.

“Rose.” he said. This time she stopped, trying to read him. There was something in the way he said her name.

She waited.

“I –“ He took a deep breath. “I’m not – I don’t think that about you.” Annoyed, she pulled her hand away, but his grip only tightened. If it was any other bloke, she’d be scared, but the Doctor wasn't that sort of man, no matter what he thought of himself. “I’m – I was – angry at you.” He got quiet. “I thought we were together.”

She blinked. It took a moment to process. Her face softened. He must’ve felt in her posture too, because he let go of her arm. “Yeah.” she said, all anger gone. “Me too, but then France -”

“Nothing happened.”

She wasn’t convinced. “But you liked her. You wanted it too.”

He didn’t say anything to that. Yeah, she thought. But the victory made her feel empty.

“And whenever…” Her voice was suddenly trembling. “When I think something’s going to happen, you always run away. You can’t be mad at me when you never make it clear. I mean you've never even told me you saw us like that until now.” There was no fight now, she just wanted him to understand. "It makes me feel like shit."

He just stared at the ground, defeated. "You never said anything, either."

"Because I was scared you'd freak out, and leave me behind like you did with Sarah Jane."

She so desprately wanted him to say something. She watched his profile, the misrable expresion on his face. No words left his lips. “I’m going back to the Tardis.” she said. With a passing glance, she walked towards the ramp down to ground level, desperately wanting him to call after her.

Of course, she couldn’t sleep. After tossing and turning, she decided she’d had enough of all the thoughts swirling around in her head, and was going to go for a swim, get something nice to eat, then put on some episodes of Eastenders to try and distract herself.

She’d changed into a fresh pair of pyjamas; her hair wrapped in a towel. Her gob ungracefully mid-ice cream spoonful when the Doctor entered the media room.

“Can’t sleep?” he asked.

There were so many things she could’ve snipped back. “Not really.” she said instead. She wiggled the tub in his direction. “Want some?”

He hesitantly took that as an invitation. “Thanks.” he said, patting down his suit and pulling out a spoon contraption from his bottomless pockets. The air was heavy as he took the tub and scraped his spoon around the edges. Rose tried to focus on the programme, but she couldn’t help notice he wasn’t eating, just… stalling.

“I’ve never thought you were beneath me, Rose.” When she stiffened, he added. “Never. If anything, I think you’re way above me.”

There was such sincerity in his voice, she knew he meant it. She sighed, unable to look at him. At the same time as it surprised her and eased her fears, it also cast doubt. She fiddled with her earing-less ear instead. “But you didn’t make me feel like it. Back in France.” she clarified. “And that, hurt Doctor. I thought you were different.” She was making herself upset. “I thought… doesn’t matter.” She didn’t want to cry.

“Yes, it does.” he prompted gently. “Tell me.”

She looked at him then, huffing in frustration. Not all at him, mostly at herself. What a mess she was. “Like I’m just some add-on, or an extra. That I’ll never be posh enough, or smart enough, for anyone to take seriously.”

Their eyes locked, and he looked right into her soul. Whatever pathetic mess he saw seemed to devastate him.

“I’ve really hurt you.” he said, turning his gaze to the floor. His lips parted, then he stopped and put the tub on the coffee table in front of them.

“Yeah.” she said, a slight crack in her voice.

“I’m sorry.” he admitted smally. “I didn’t mean –“ He took a fortifying breath. “I did like her.” he admitted, distaste in his voice, like he hated himself for it.

The truth cut her. Deep. No, she wouldn’t cry.

“But Rose, you have to believe me. I didn’t… not as much... I was...” He was getting himself muddled. He paused. “I – I care about you.” he said, changing his mind at the last minute. "A lot. And that's terrifying."

She perked up. They both knew he really meant 'I love you'. “Yeah?” she said. “Why?”

He took a sharp intake of breath, interlinking his fingers. “I told you. I'll lose you one day, like I lose everything else.” His lips parted again, but he froze. He couldn’t do it and turned his head fully away from her. "Because then it would hurt."

She studied him for a moment. His body was so tense. He was expecting some sort of reprimand and, despite having ideas, she could only guess what. He did was really scared, though, she could tell that.

With a sigh, she sat back down and shuffled closer to him, taking his hand and interlocking his fingers. Needing some bravery for the both of them, she kept her focus on where they joined. “Alright then, how about you just hear me out for a sec. I worry I'll lose you too." His eyes sharply met hers. "Yeah. Either you'll leave me behind, or you'll send me back, or you'll do something so stupid like you always do and I won't make it in time to save you. But you know what? I'm still going to stay, as long as you want me, no matter how much it hurts later."

His grip was calculated and tentative as he gazed back at their hands. His lips parted, but this time he pushed through. “I always want you around, Rose.” he said. “Always.”

Her heart leapt, suddenly wanting to give him a massive hug. It showed on her face. “Then I'll stay forever."

At her words, he relaxed. His shoulders unwound, and he began playing with their fingers, weaving them in and out, the tension gong. "And no more... - we're together now, properly."

Her smile grew. “Yeah, no more queens or really, really, like really good -."

"Rose." he said, the tone dark but she knew he was kidding around.

"Just us, yeah?"

He looked up then, his eyes bright and hopeful. The corner of his mouth twitched, “Yeah.”

Her heart couldn’t help but turn to mush. Each time he looked at her like that. Every time. The moment felt right. The calmy munching dinosaurs and just setting sun now the pinicle of romance. For her own courage she leaned in and kissed him. Just a quick peck.

When she pulled back he blinked, looking pretty bewildered. She was about to flounder out an appology, but next thing she knew his lips were on hers in a full on sog. She grabbed his really, really great hair and tugged as she deepened the kiss, something she'd long fantisied about. He let out low growl and whoshed right through her.

Oh boy was she in trouble.

#@doctorrosebingo #doctorrosebingor3 #square - one night stand #my fanfic #doctor who #them <3 #tenth doctor #rose tyler

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