#she’s not going to want to cut her stage into a third in order to perform

[kingofmyborrowedheart]

I understand fans being upset and disappointed in Taylor not coming to where they live, but to act like she’s entitled to come to their location because of x, y or z and get genuinely mad as if it’s a direct attack when it’s something that is likely out of her control feels off to me. I’m sure she truly wants to be able to perform to as many of her fans as possible but she also doesn’t want to sacrifice the sake of the production to do so; she wants to give everyone the same Eras Tour experience.

[buggybambi]

Ooo if you’re still looking for request ideas, I have one!!

Can I please request a Carmy x fem!single Mom!reader where Y/n is new to Chicago and is looking for somewhere to eat with her two year old daughter, and she finds The Beef/The Bear. She’s super exhausted and has her hands full, and also trying to order when her daughter runs into the kitchen before Y/n can grab her, Y/n running back to get her but Carmy gets to her daughter first and picks her up. Y/n would be sooo mortified and apologizing so much, but Carmen is super sweet and comps her meal (much to her surprise) and the staff are super sweet with her daughter 🤧

Y/n frequently visiting the restaurant after that to eat and also see her fav, most adorable (hot) chef 🥹

haley baby | carmen berzatto

thanks for requesting this! - not proofread - nav post - cw: mom/fem!reader, single!mom!reader

Being a single mother, you were used to the chaos that mornings brought. Being a single mom in a completely unfamiliar town was a new ballpark.

Your daughter, Haley, was in that stage of being picky with what she likes. Her favorite thing was French fries, and you happened to find (thanks to a quick online search) a spot with the “best fries in Chicago”, according to one review.

Well, dianeivans392, you would have to be the judge of that statement.

Haley had also been in the stage of running ahead of you. Baby pink sneakers stepping against the pavement as you jogged behind her, you guided her inside the sandwich shop. “You gotta stay by mama, okay?” You ask softly before you place in the order.

You should have known once you started paying your daughter would have taken the opportunity to run into the back. Letting out a small yelp, you hurriedly put your items back into your purse, prepared to be yelled at by whoever’s back there.

Instead, less then a minute later, a man comes out with Haley in his arms. She seems infatuated by him, watching his every movement. You don't blame her. Part of you wants to be worried because some random man has your child in his arms.

The other part of you, the part that swears his eyes are having a secret conversation with yours, tells that first part to pipe down.

"I'm so sorry about her, she's been in this phase of running and all the books say to just let her explore but they don't account for dangerous environments for a child, and I looked away for one second and-" your apologetic ramble was cut short by the man smiling. "It's okay. I don't mind, really." He hands Haley back over to you, holding his hand out. "I'm Carmen."

You shake his hand before focusing on your daughter, pushing some of her light blonde curls out of her face. "I'm Y/N." You're cautious. "Thanks for grabbing her." You say with a nod, and he smiles. “No worries. She seems fun.” He comments.

You laugh. “That doesn’t begin to describe her.” You comment, remembering the food you’re meant to pay for. You grab out your card, about to hand it to the guy behind the counter before Carmen clears his throat. He steps behind the counter, whispering something in the cashier’s ear. Hitting a few buttons on the register, the cashier gives you a smile as Carmen walks to the back. “Your food will be out soon.”

You stare at him, about to question what happened until the blue eyed .. stranger, guardian angel, whatever he seems to be, returns. A bag in hand, two boxes of fries in hand. “For you, m’lady.”

You look at the bag, shaking your head. “I can’t accept these for free, Carmen-”

“You are. I’m not offering, I’m telling you. Take them.” He insists. And you aren’t going to argue when he looks at you with this desperation in his eyes.

You thank him again and take the bag, adjusting your daughter on your hip.

──

From then on, you were one of the regulars. You’d let the other staff come and say hi to your daughter, even growing close with Natalie, Carmen’s sister, who fell in love with your daughter.

You celebrated a lot with them. Haley’s third birthday, they were in attendance. They were there when you got a promotion at work, when you needed someone’s shoulder to cry on.

Not to mention, you and Carmen were undeniably flirting with each other everytime you spoke. It wasn’t a shock when he asked you on a date - a date that consisted of him cooking for you in your apartment while Haley slept in her bedroom.

[stripedwolf88]

The Eras Tour: Paris Night 1 (My Thoughts)

ALLLLLLLLRIGHT. So because @bettysgarden12 wanted to know my reactions and thoughts on everything that happened today, I thought I would share with the rest of yous. It's probably not going to be very in depth or analytical so fair warning on that hehe. Also this probably isn't in order of the show because my memory is trash haha.

1.First things first. The lover bodysuit. WHaT iN ThE FRiLly HeLl?!?!? I literally still don't know whether or not I dreamt of seeing that new bodysuit. Definitely, lesbian colors represented there and it was confirmed with the orange blazer she wore for The Man. It was not an accident I'm sure to have the inside be pink too.

(Side note: we all knew that The Archer was going to get cut. It actually makes a lot of sense too. I think we are past Taylor asking us to stay, not that she doesn't still hope us too. It's more like she is fine with blowing everything up now instead of focusing on the worry of messing everything up. At least I hope that is the case. We're here for ya Taylor. You got this.)

2. Second, the Fearless dress. I LOVE IT SO MUCH. I also saw that it looks really reminiscent of the original dress she wore for her Fearless tour. It's almost like she is going back to what once was.

3. Third, transitioning right into Red was something. The new Red shirt says "This is not Taylor's Version" when Red is in fact Taylor's again. Some of my moots pointed out that it could be referencing the whole Real Taylor vs Taylor The Brand theory that we as a community have been developing for quite some time. With this thinking, it would mean that the Taylor we are seeing is not someone Taylor claims as her own or something like that. It's not truly her which we all knew already.

4. Fourth, we saw a new intro for Speak Now (now officially just Enchanted since Long Live has been axed.) I don't have much to say on that other than I wasn't surprised that Long Live got cut. This cut also makes sense if we are thinking that Taylor is gonna burn it down. No more reminding about the good times or the "needing" fans to stand by her forever.

5. Fifth, combining folklore and evermore was unexpected but also not? Idk it made sense and to me it just seems like it was easier to combine them since room had to be made for TTPD.

6. Sixth, Rep was Rep. Nothing really changed from what I could tell or remember other than THE FREAKING GLASS CASES SHATTERING!!! YOU BREAK THAT GLASS CLOSET TAYLOR! WHOOP WHOOP!

7. Seventh, 1989 outfit was...something. It's just not my cup of tea visually. I DID NOT notice the lion or tiger(???) charm she had on until someone else pointed it out. Very interesting either way.

8. Eighth, putting TTPD before Midnights was an interesting choice. The whole theory that we still have to meet her at Midnight (credit to my moots for pointing this out again) is supported by this I think.

9. Ninth, the dress for TTPD is amazing!! And so are the other two outfits. The marching band uniform and it's possible reference back to ME! music video? It has me in shambles.

10. Tenth, the performance for Who Afraid of Little Old Me was visually amazing and she sang it beautifully (no surprise there) with such emotion that it was impossible for me to look away. Her levitating across the stage was also freaking awesome!

11. Next the empty cages imagery?? The nurses pulling her away from her lover??? The image of her crouching in the middle of this weird ass place??? That one really kind of freaked me out. It was eerie and heartbreaking in a way I'm not quite able to explain at this moment.

12. I was conflicted about I Can Do It With A Broken Heart both before, during, and after the performance. I had a feeling she was going to perform it and I kind of wanted her to just to hear her sing it live but then not because I knew how the fans were going to react. I really did face-palm when everyone yelled "More!" on the livestream but we all knew they were going to. The transition into ICDIWABH made me want to throw something at the TV but I also did snort on the petulance on Taylor's face for the little act. I really liked the old Hollywood theme for the visuals and the dance. It was pleasing to watch. BY THE WAY....HAVING THE OUTFIT FOR ICDIWABH ECHO HER OUTFITS ON REP IS REALLY SOMETHING. She bamboozled me again.

13. Midniiiiiiights. THE BODYSUIT IS MY FAVORITE ONE OUT OF THE ONES WE HAVE SEEN SO FAR. I'm glad that Mastermind was kept. I didn't think that she would have taken away anything from the Midnights era but if there was I had this weird concern that it would be Mastermind. Thank god my anxiety was unnecessary.

14. The surprise soooooongs~ Paris is a favorite of mine so I'm happy she played it but also of course she did. That was another predictable thing that happened. Her performance of loml was again heartfelt. She seems really happy to sing these new songs and it shows.

15. I am pretty freaking sure that the Bejeweled lights were a LOT more colorful and rainbowy than usual. Was that just me? Please tell me it wasn't just me!

Overall, it is safe to say that I was not prepared for the absolute chaos that today brought.

Taylor, it seems like you're really doing this (I reeeeeally hope that is the case) and I'm so happy for you if that is what is happening. You do you and you show us what's up. I'm looking forward to it. <3

[missywritesfor7]

❤️‍🩹Lifeline | MYG❤️‍🩹

Synopsis: It’s long been controversial for idols to date, but idols dating each other can be really beautiful or a complete nightmare. When Yoongi's relationship with another idol is discovered, he decides maybe it’s time to break the taboo and show people it’s ok for idols to date. Instead, they find themselves caught in the midst of one media frenzy after another and struggle to keep their relationship as strong as it had been the past 2 years. Yoongi finds a self destructive way to cope, and it causes even more problems than it solves. As they fight for their relationship and their careers, they discover that sometimes, the only way to truly be free is to let go.

Pairing: idol!Yoongi x idol!OC

Warnings: nsfw, alcoholism, cheating, depression, anxiety, Yoongi goes through a bisexy ho phase, Yoongi is also in his alcoholic phase, post-military BTS

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Ch. 7: Drunk

The guys’ time in Vegas has flown by and it’s finally their last night there. Everyone is a little extra nervous because tonight’s show is being streamed live. Nothing has changed with Yoongi. Jin couldn’t convince him to talk to Hyeri. No one could keep him from sneaking drinks. And now they’re all getting ready to go on stage with Yoongi already further out of his mind than any of them realize.

Hyeri hasn’t tried talking to Yoongi since the voicemail she left him. She hasn’t tried sending him messages or anything. Truthfully, she’s been far too depressed to talk to anyone or do anything. She claimed illness so she could give herself a couple of days without having to worry about her schedule. However that just gave her the freedom to be able to watch the guys’ concert online. As much as she knows it’ll hurt to see Yoongi dancing across the stage, likely not thinking anything of her, she still can’t help it. She misses him so bad.

The show starts and the first time the camera cuts to Yoongi’s face, Hyeri’s heart drops. He looks awful. The man up there standing in his place is only a soulless shell and she can tell.

“My Yoongi,” she says with tears rolling down her cheeks. “You’re not ok.”

The entire show she notices everything he does that proves he’s not himself. He’s smiling as the crowd cheers his name, but his eyes are dark and sunken. He jumps around with Jimin to the crowd’s delight, but his movements are stiff and emotionless. The man on the stage is not her Yoongi. She doesn’t know who that man is.

The tightness in her chest only worsens as the show goes on. When Yoongi gives his ending ments he doesn’t even sound like himself. Hyeri is overwhelmed with guilt watching a stranger parading around as the love of her life. She can see what he meant when he said that he’s no longer the person she fell in love with. She doesn’t know who this person is and it’s killing her inside.

Yoongi feels on top of the world. Sure everyone has been watching him closely, but they can’t be everywhere all of the time. The love he feels when he’s on stage is incredible and the buzz he feels from a few hidden drinks has him on a cloud.

Not hearing from Hyeri has been a relief. He doesn’t have constant reminders of her every time he looks at his phone to see another message from her.

So why does he still feel like he needs to be as far away from himself as possible? So far away from himself that he has a few more drinks after the show. When everyone is focused on the maknae line chaos on Weverse Live, Yoongi slips out of his room undetected. It’s his last night in Vegas and he wants to have some fun. He starts with a quick drink at the hotel bar, then heads out to see what catches his eye.

It’s like deja vu. He finds a place. Orders a drink. Then people watches from a table in the back. After a few drinks he heads down to another bar and does the same. His legs barely carry him to the third bar, but he still orders a drink anyway.

Every time he thinks of Hyeri and how for some reason it hurts that she hasn’t contacted him again, he has another drink. He’s determined to not be Yoongi tonight. Yoongi’s emotions are much too strong and he doesn’t want to deal with any of that. He drinks more then stumbles his way out of the bar in search of another.

After the 5th bar he finds himself in another familiar situation. In the back of a stranger’s car getting his dick sucked as Austin while Yoongi is far gone from reality.

She said her name was Mary. Maybe it was Marcia. Something with an M that he won’t remember in the morning. All he knows right now is that her mouth feels better around him than anyone else’s has so far during the tour. When she hums it’s like a million nerves in his body are being hit at once and brings out a deep breathy groan. He’s once again on that cloud and never wants to get off.

It’s a miracle he’s able to make it back to his hotel room unnoticed. He throws himself in the bed and passes out as Austin.

When he wakes he’s Yoongi again and terribly hungover. Again. He doesn’t have much time before they leave for their flight to LA, so he takes some medicine and a quick shower to freshen up a little.

No one knows where Yoongi was last night, and Jin is the only one who knew Yoongi wasn’t in his room. He went by to check on Yoongi, only to discover he wasn’t there. He had to come up with an excuse to get the key to Yoongi’s room from one of their managers so he could make sure Yoongi wasn’t in need of help. To his surprise and disappointment, he saw that Yoongi wasn’t there. He was afraid to say anything so he didn’t. He’s relieved that Yoongi makes it for their flight in the morning, and he decides maybe it’s ok to not say anything this time.

Los Angeles holds a lot of memories for the guys. Yoongi always loves it here. The food, the people, the overall vibes are great. So naturally, he slips back into the same routine. Sneaking drinks during the day and sneaking out to bars at night. For some reason he felt freer and happier in LA, so he got wilder. It no longer matters if he’s angry at himself for thinking about Hyeri, or if he’s actually enjoying himself. It’s all blended together at this point.

Hyeri hasn’t gotten much sleep or food since she watched the concert and saw just how bad Yoongi looked. She blames herself for it all and she isn’t sure how she can fix things between them. He wasn’t himself and she’s been taking it very hard.

She’s skipped out on more of her schedule claiming to still be sick. She’s gotten an outpouring of support and well wishes from fans, but she only wants to hear from Yoongi. That’s the only cure for this sickness.

She continues following the guys tour schedule and browsing socials for anything new. Not that she’s expecting something, but she can’t help her need to see Yoongi any way she can. It’s too bad that now when she sees Yoongi he looks like a stranger.

She can’t eat or sleep, but she can’t talk to him. He wouldn’t answer if she tried. It makes her restless because she wants to do something but she doesn’t know what she could do. So she decides to go for a drive to clear her mind.

Somehow she manages to pull herself out of bed and get in her car at a little after 2 am. She has no destination in mind, she only wants to clear her head. The only problem is that she’s incredibly fatigued from days of little rest and food. She decides it’s best for her to stay close to home, so she simply drives around within a 5 mile radius of home.

On her third lap around the area she begins to struggle to stay awake. She drifts off for a second then is jolted back awake by the sound of her passenger side tires scraping the curb.

“Shit,” she whispers to herself.

She stops at a red light and rubs her eyes. She’ll just make two more turns to go back home. She makes the first turn. The second is a tight one, but she narrowly makes it before the light turns red. All she has to do is continue straight to get back home, but she can’t stop from dozing off once again and is jolted awake from the feeling of her car ramming into the curb and up on the sidewalk. Before she can react her car goes flying into a stoplight pole.

The airbags immediately deploy knocking her head backwards and bouncing it off the headrest. She begins seeing stars and she can’t seem to comprehend what’s going on around her. It’s silent at first. And then it sounds chaotic. Then there’s silence and darkness again. Then another round of chaos surrounding her. She isn’t sure what’s happening anymore, all she knows is that whatever is happening, she’s not in control of any of it.

The three shows in LA came and went just as fast as the shows in Vegas. Yoongi has been getting much more loose these few days and the rest of the group are afraid he may not make it through much more of the tour at this rate. More drinking, more sneaking out, more blowjobs from strangers.

During the final show, Yoongi slipped and fell on his hip. He was already so drunk by then that it didn’t phase him at all. He laughed it off telling the guys and fans that he was ok. After the show he really started to feel it. He went back to his room for a drink but he could still feel the ache in his hip. He had another drink but it still couldn’t ease his discomfort.

When he thought all was clear, he slipped out of his room and went out to a nearby bar. He has a drink and takes a seat trying to leave the pain plaguing his body. He told Hoseok not to run around with the maknaes, but he went and did it himself with the same result.

While he’s drinking and people watching, a woman approaches him. She has a little small talk with him and orders another round of drinks. She tells him her name is Chelsea. Not that it matters to him because he knows he’ll forget in the morning. He, of course, tells her his name is Austin and that this is his last night in town.

They chat a little longer. Then they begin flirting. She offers to take him back to his hotel and he agrees. Yoongi would never, but Austin doesn’t care. He’s so far gone that he doesn’t even notice that he’s limping pretty bad from his fall. When he gets in her car she hands him a piece of gummy candy.

“Here,” she says. “It’ll help you with the pain.” She gestures to his hip.

“What is it?” He asks taking the candy and looking it over through his blurry vision.

“A pain killer,” she winks. “Try it out.”

Without a second thought Yoongi pops the candy in his mouth and chews it up. It’s a sweet strawberry flavor which he feels pairs well with the lingering taste of tequila in his mouth. Chelsea smiles then takes off for the hotel.

By the time they arrive, Yoongi has no idea where he is. The entire ride he felt like he was floating through a wormhole. Everything around him feels unreal.

“What kind of candy was that?” Yoongi manages to ask.

“Only LA’s finest edible,” she smiles. “Doesn’t it make your pain go away?”

“Yeah,” he whispers.

He’s never been high before. He never would have even tried. But he’s not himself. He’s not Yoongi who wouldn’t willingly take something from a stranger and eat it not knowing what it is exactly. He’s Austin who doesn’t care about anything. He’s Austin who once again is locking lips with a stranger.

But then he sees her. In his mind, drunk and high as fuck, he sees her. How dare she sneak into his mind like this. Hyeri hasn’t tried to talk to him since Vegas, why is she on his mind right now? He isn’t sure what to do. Being drunk is one thing, but he’s never experienced being high before. He has no idea how to deal with these effects. All he knows is the sight of Hyeri’s face stained with tears has infiltrated his mind and he needs to make it stop. He sees her face. He feels her pain. It’s like he can physically feel her presence.

“Help,” she says.

“Huh?” Yoongi says taken aback by Hyeri speaking to him suddenly.

“I said do you need help?”

Yoongi has a flash of clarity and remembers he’s in the car with a stranger named Samantha. Or maybe it was Donna. He isn’t sure, but it doesn’t matter.

“Um,” he hesitates trying to regain some sense of coherency.

“Come on,” Chelsea says turning off her car. “What room are you in? I’ll help you get there.”

He thinks he’ll be fine. He can’t share his room number with anyone. He knows where the elevator is, he shouldn’t have a problem getting there.

“728,” he slurs. It’s clear his mind and mouth are not on the same page.

As she helps him to the elevator and they make their way up he starts to think maybe it’s not so bad. She’s just helping him to his room and while he’s mad that he mindlessly gave her his room number, she’s actually a big help right now because he actually would not have made it up on his own. She gets him to his room, helps fish his room key out of his pocket, and she gets him to the bed.

He has no idea what’s happening around him. All he can see is the ceiling spinning above him and the sound of Hyeri’s cries echoing through his head. Why is she on his mind? He hates it, but he’s so intoxicated that he can’t even move. All he can do is lay there and endure the pain of seeing her face and hearing her voice swirl around his mind.

“You’re a fucking mess.”

He agrees. He’s a big fucking mess and it’s because of Hyeri. It’s because he loves her so much it hurts. He’s a weak fool.

“How much do you drink, Austin?”

Hyeri shouldn’t know anything about Austin. Austin should have never existed, but there’s no changing the things he’s already done. He felt she didn’t care about him and his feelings for her so he created the persona of someone that would do all the things Yoongi wouldn’t do. Someone who would live free and do whatever he wants because fuck love. Fuck feelings. Fuck being vulnerable. Fuck Hyeri.

He loves her so fucking much.

“You’re so fucked up you can’t even get it up.”

If Hyeri ever learned of the things he’s done as Austin he may never be able to forgive himself. Sure, this was his way of revenge. He’s been hurting and he wanted to let go of it all and simply be free. But this isn’t him. This isn’t Yoongi. This is someone else that Hyeri should never know about. Someone he shouldn’t have become in the first place.

“At least this wasn’t a total bust. Good luck with whatever shit you’re going through.”

If she hadn’t hurt him so bad he wouldn’t be so dead set on hurting her back. He’s turned into someone he doesn’t recognize all because he can’t handle the hurt. He wants her to feel that, but at the same time he never wants her to hurt. He would do anything to make sure she doesn’t hurt.

The moment Namjoon wakes up in the morning he rushes straight for Yoongi’s room. He went to check on him last night but he wasn’t there. He didn’t want to cause panic so he was hoping Yoongi would be back in the morning. He got Yoongi’s key from a manager earlier in their stay in LA knowing one of them would probably need it considering Yoongi’s rapidly declining condition.

The good news: Yoongi is in his room. The bad news: it looks like his room has been ransacked.

“Hyung!” Namjoon shouts trying to shake Yoongi awake.

Yoongi groans incoherently. Namjoon looks him over to make sure he doesn’t appear to be hurt. He looks ok physically so Namjoon shakes him again.

“Hyung! Wake up!” Namjoon shouts. “What the hell happened last night?”

Yoongi groans again still stuck in a haze. Before Namjoon can shake him some more, there’s a knock at the door. He checks the peephole then quickly opens the door and pulls Taehyung inside when he realizes it’s not someone else.

“Help me get him to the shower,” Namjoon says grabbing one of Yoongi’s arms.

“What happened?” Taehyung asks taking Yoongi’s other arm while observing the complete mess in the room.

“I don’t know,” Namjoon says removing Yoongi’s shirt.

Yoongi groans again. He can feel himself being undressed but he has no idea what’s actually going on. He’s still drunk and a little high from last night. He doesn’t know it’s only been 4 hours since he passed out. He doesn’t know the edible he had last night was a strong one. Certainly much too strong for a casual marijuana user, which means it’s 10 times stronger for Yoongi who’s never used before in his life.

Namjoon and Taehyung manage to get Yoongi down to his boxers and moved to the shower. They sit him on the floor then look at each other wondering what to do now.

Taehyung came by because he was afraid Yoongi would need supervision once he heard the news. He didn’t expect to come into the scene he was faced with when he arrived. Knowing what he saw when he found Yoongi getting a blow job behind the restaurant, he realized things are much worse than he thought.

“What are you doing here?” Namjoon asks while turning the cold water on in hopes it will wake Yoongi.

“I wanted to check on him after I saw this.” Taehyung pulls out his phone and shows Namjoon an article.

ACTRESS RAINBOW INJURED IN CAR ACCIDENT

The article has very little information, only that Hyeri was in an accident late at night and was taken to the hospital. Details of her condition are unknown but as far as anyone seems to know, she’s still in the hospital being treated.

“Shit,” Namjoon says looking over at Yoongi on the shower floor still in a daze as the water hits every part of his body. “I don’t think he knows anything yet. He looks like he’s been out of it for a while. Do you think…he was drugged?”

Taehyung has another flashback to the restaurant and frowns.

“What?” Namjoon asks noticing his change in expression.

“Hyung,” Taehyung sighs pulling Namjoon to the bed and out of Yoongi’s earshot. “You know that night we were at the restaurant in Vegas and he disappeared for a while?”

Namjoon nods suddenly remembering that Taehyung went to look for him but never said where he was.

“He wasn’t in the bathroom, he was outside,” Taehyung whispers. “He was…someone else was…oh my god,” he pauses having a sudden realization. “What if that was a prostitute?”

“A prosti-what??” Namjoon asks. “What are you talking about??”

“He was behind the restaurant getting his dick sucked!” Taehyung blurts. “Oh my god, hyung what if he got a prostitute??”

“How?” Namjoon looks over his shoulder to see Yoongi’s head still swaying deliriously under the shower water. “How would he suddenly find a prostitute in the back of the restaurant when he was with us the whole time?”

“I don’t know, but I know I saw someone on their knees and hyung was making those…sounds,” he says cringing at the memory.

“Ok…We’ll get you some counseling later,” Namjoon says. “We need to figure out what happened last night first. We have to make sure he makes our flight.”

Taehyung nods and begins looking around the room. Yoongi’s suitcase is wide open and his clothes have been tossed around. It definitely looks like someone was looking for something.

From what Namjoon can tell, none of Yoongi’s recording equipment has been taken. Not even his laptop. That’s a relief until he sees Yoongi’s wallet. Yoongi always has cash on hand when they travel and Namjoon knows for a fact that he had at least $300 leftover after the show last night because Yoongi was asking him what he should do with it on their final night so he wouldn’t have to worry about exchanging it when they head to London.

Namjoon isn’t sure what’s worse, the possibility that Yoongi spent $300 on alcohol in one night, or the thought that someone was in Yoongi’s room and robbed him. The latter seems much more likely when Namjoon notices Yoongi’s Black card missing.

Yoongi doesn’t know what’s going on, but he’s freezing. His head is throbbing, his mouth is dry, and he can hardly hear anything. He opens his mouth wide trying to find a way to generate at least a little saliva, but then his mouth fills up with water. He gasps in surprise and inhales a bit of water. He’s immediately thrust back into reality as he starts coughing heavily.

“Hyung!”

Namjoon and Taehyung run to the shower and turn the water off.

“Are you ok?” Namjoon asks patting him on the back as he continues coughing and heaving.

It takes a moment for Yoongi to stop coughing and catch his breath. He finally looks up to realize he’s on the floor of the shower with Namjoon and Taehyung standing over him with deeply worried faces.

“Yeah,” Yoongi coughs out.

“Bullshit,” Namjoon says no longer willing to let any more of Yoongi’s lies pass. “What the fuck happened last night? Where did you go after the show?”

“I don’t know,” Yoongi groans. “My head hurts.”

“Yeah no shit,” Namjoon says helping him to his feet.

Taehyung wraps a towel around Yoongi and they help him to the bed. Yoongi lays flat on his back still trying to find his life, but also knowing he really messed up now. He never wanted the members to see him like this.

“Did you have a prostitute in here?” Taehyung asks boldly.

“Huh?” Yoongi mumbles. He thinks a moment trying to figure out what all happened last night. “No…I don’t know who it was. I never know who it is.”

“What??” Namjoon exclaims.

“Names aren’t important.”

“For fucks sake, hyung! Whoever it was robbed you!”

“What??” Yoongi tries to sit up but he can’t.

“Did you spend that cash?”

“No. Not yet.” He actually decided he would use that money to sneak a few bottles of duty free alcohol at the airport so he hadn’t planned to touch it last night.

“Then they took your money and your Black card!”

“Fuck,” Yoongi groans.

“Do you know anything about last night?”

He doesn’t. He knows he went out for drinks. He knows he went to more than one place but he’s not sure which places or how many. He knows he met someone, Lindsay, maybe it was Ruby. He hasn’t a clue.

“Fuck,” he groans again. Suddenly he remembers why his mouth is so dry. “She gave me an edible.”

“What the fuck?” Namjoon is in complete disbelief. “So you got drunk and high? With a stranger whose name you can’t even remember?! Are you fucking crazy?!?”

“Hyung,” Taehyung says softly, choosing to take a different approach. “Hyeri is in the hospital. She got into a car accident.”

“What?!” Yoongi says swiftly sitting up. Hearing those words sobered him up instantly. His heart is racing and he’s too worried to even be mad at himself for how much he still cares for her.

[rekofan101]

The droning of the linoleum lights seemed ever loud as the silence of a graveyard shift sucked the life out of him. It was his third night in a row of nothing but night shift, not that he minded, and not that he didn't expect it, as he had asked his manager to give him as many as possible. Sleep through the day, then work through the night. Fit in as many freelance code jobs in between. Eat a cup of ramen if he felt hungry. Shower every day after work. Do the laundry at the end of the week to save the most money. His whole entire day, and the following, were all planned out to a T. All in order for him to just not think about it.

Yet luck was never on Shin's side. Through one way or another, something cropped up to disrupt his plans. 

The door opened up, the digital ding dong of the doorbell sounding. Shin instinctively turned to greet the customer.

"Welcome i-" 

His words caught in his throat at the sight. Of course. Of fucking course.

While it wasn’t the exact person he had been avoiding, it was the closest person to the person he had been avoiding. An alarming reminder of the problem he had been ignoring and trying to bury deep in his head. In fact, he would argue that this is worse, way, infinitely, terrifyingly worse than if the subject himself had walked through those doors. But how could Shin have not seen this coming? Because of course he would have vented their relatiosnhip problem to his sister, and of course he would then send her off to confront him after Shin had been ignoring all of his texts!

She turned to face him, their eyes locking onto one another. Shin could feel all the nerves in his body freeze as she looked at him with a grim expression, fists curled at her sides. She marched right over to the counter, Shin realizing that “Yeah, of course he sends her to visit him at work instead of his apartment, where he could easily just leave the door closed and hide in his room until she leaves.”

The only thing separating them now is the counter. Shin stares into her eyes as she stares back into his own. He can feel the sweat collect and trail down the back of his neck, his heart hitting rapidly against the front of his chest. Could she hear it? Did she know how terrified he is of her? Like the loud drums his boyfriend loved to play, Shin could barely hear himself think over his own heart. Maybe this was the rush she always felt on stage.

“Hey.”

Her voice is deeper than most women he’s met. It commands you to listen, lest you get sucker punched in the face.

“Ah, Miss Reko? To what do I owe-”

“Cut the bullshit.”

Shin goes silent. Fuck. Did he already mess up? She could easily break his nose. Hell, she’d probably punch it into his face. He shouldn’t have feigned ignorance. Now he was gonna pay for it. God, he should’ve seen this coming. Why did he think ignoring his problems was going to solve them? He always did this to himself. He avoided all confrontation and just tried to go with whatever people wanted even if it hurt him. In fact, that’s how he even got into this mess in the first place. How could he be so stupid? He brough this upon himself, he deserves whatever is coming. She should just come around the counter and give him the punsihment he had been avoiding for so long. Maybe that’s why he sent her instead of coming to see Shin himself. She was always abrasive and tough on everyone, Shin knew she didn’t approve of him from the start. Wow, he really just decided to stay in this mess despite knowing how it always came out for him. He’s so stupid, he’s such an-

“Hey, so, uh…”

Her voice snaps him out of his spiral. Right, he’s just been silently panicking in front of her this whole time. He completely gave up his cool facade as soon as she snapped at him. What could he say to her though? His tongue felt sticky in his mouth.

She sighs, raking a hand through her hair. Her shoulders slacken, and she leans her weight onto one foot. It’s then Shin realizes something is off about this. She doesn’t look mad, in fact she looks…concerned? Wait, actually, now that he’s looking, he realizes she’s not wearing any make up whatsoever. She’s dressed fairly casually, actually, like she had just strolled out from her house to come here without any thought of what she might look like.

“Look, I’m just gonna say it. I don’t like butting into other people’s relationships, we’re all adults here, but I can tell when something’s up. You and Alice need to talk.”

“There’s nothing we need to talk about,” Shin tries to speak with an even voice. “Everything is fine.”

Reko waves her hand and shakes her head. “Don’t say that to me. You really think I haven’t noticed how mopey he’s been for the past week? All he does is sulk around the house, bemoaning the fact you keep leaving him on read. He doesn’t put any effort at all in our practices. Every time I try to talk to him, he either erupts into a bubbling mess of tears, or he just stays silent and broods in his room. I know something is up between you two, and I’m asking for both of your sakes to talk it out.”

Shin was a bit taken aback at that. So…He didn’t vent to her? Then she came here of her own volition?

“I understand your concern, but…” Shin’s voice trails off. How is he supposed to tell her their problem? He can’t just brush her away, she’s very aware that there’s something going on between them. But how can he tell her given the fact Shin thinks he’s being ridiculous?

“But?” She questions, leaning onto the counter a bit. Shin takes a step back, trying to maintain their distance.

“But there really…isn’t anything to be worried about. It was just a misunderstanding. nothing serious. And I was just busy this whole week, you know? Working all the night shifts and stuff. I’ll respond to him when I get the chance. I’m sorry our relationship has been interferring with your band.”

She sighs, obviously seeing through all his bullshit. She looks up to him then, and he’s surprised to see just how less threatening she looks without all her makeup. 

“Shin,” she says, making sure to make eye contact with me. “I’m not asking this on behalf of Alice or something. Whatever you think is going on isn’t what it is. I want you to talk to me. Just me, right now, spill it out. Cause I can tell it’s bothering you the most, and if my hunch is right, it’s Alice’s fault.”

“Wait…huh?” Shin doesn’t know how to react to her statement. How does she know so much despite not knowing what this is about? How does she know it’s eating Shin up inside? That it is Alice’s fault, and that Shin is just trying to ignore it? She couldn’t possibly know. And Shin wasn’t really willing to tell her about it. “What are you talking about?”

“Hear me out,” She said, resting both elbows on the counter and leaning onto it. She waved her hands around as she spoke. “Three weeks ago everything was fine, right? You two were lovey dovey lovebirds. But then we had that concert and fan meet and greet on that Saturday. The following week, things seemed fine. Alice seemed to be doing well, he wasn’t bursting into tears every time he looked at his phone. Now we have this one, where he’s barely even leaving his room and won’t even talk to me about what’s going on. I don’t know how it’s been for you, I know we don’t talk much, but I can tell just from his behavior something must’ve happened, right?”

“So I think about these past few weeks and bingo, that’s when it hit me. The meet and greet. I was thinking what happened that night and that’s when I realized what it might’ve been. Towards the end of it, a fan came up and asked to kiss him on the cheek, right?”

Her words are throwing him back to that night. He’s been trying to shut it out for so long. To just ignore it and hope it somehow erases from his mind. Yet he’s reminded of it because of Alice. Every time they kiss, every time they held hands, every time Shin looked at him. He just couldn’t erase that interaction from his mind. And for what? How could he be so pathetic to let something like that ruin him so badly? Why does he feel such heartbreak every time he remembers that Alice let a stranger kiss him on the cheek? Shin knew it was normal for fans to exhibit this kind of behavior, he expected it going into a relationship with someone semi-famous. And yet…and yet…

“Shin,” she says, voice gentle. He doesn’t even realize he began crying. There’s a soft look on her face, her hand reaching out as if wanting to pat him on the shoulder. He looks up to her, his facade broken, emotions pouring out after weeks of trying to keep them held together.

“I’m sorry,” he says, breaking. “I”m sorry, I know, it’s stupid. I’m so stupid for getting so worked up about it. I don’t know why. It just hurt so much to see him agree to it. And I know it’s stupid, because he loves me, and it’s just a fan, and it shouldn’t mean anything, but I-I”

He hiccups, his tears blurring his sight. He stops speaking in favor of just letting the tears flow, so overcome with pent up emotion he’s speechless. Reko moves away for a moment, out of his sight, and he presumes that she’s finally just decied to leave considering how stupid Shin is being. Yet just as he’s in the middle of sobbing, he finds a packet of the convenience store’s tissues, opened and shoved into his hands.

“Hwha?” He looks up to see Reko with a gentle smile, a bottle of water in her other hand. 

“Do you mind if I come behind the counter?”

He pauses, taking a tissue to wipe his face. Does he mind? Some part of his heart tells him, no, not really. And so he nods his head. She comes behind the counter, and whispers to him to hold the tissues. He does so and continues wiping his face as she opens up the water bottle for him. She hands it to him, taking the tissues back and telling him to drink. Shin doesn’t know why, but he listens to her. Just as her normal voice commands people to listen, her softer one is similar. Yet there’s a distinct difference to it. It’s more like a gentle nudge, like a hand to guide the way. He didn’t think she could be so kind.

His tears are slowing down, and he’s stopped sobbing. He takes small sips from the water as he sits in the chair behind the counter. She’s sitting ontop of the counter, still holding the tissues as he collects himself. As soon as he looks a bit more calm, she begins to speak.

“I don’t think you’re stupid. You know, I actually came to him after the meet and told him that was a bit inappropriate. Not just because of your relationship, but because it was a bit too personal to do with fans. In the heat of the moment, right after our concert, I guess he just wasn’t thinking. He can be a little stupid sometimes.”

She laughs at that, and Shin let’s out an amused huff of air. His tongue feels sticky in his mouth, but it seems like right now Reko is gonna do all the talking. Shin found he didn’t really mind.

“From what you said, I’m guessing it really tore you up, but you decided to tell him that was fine. And I guess if you look at it objectively, it could be seen as fine and normal for most people. But you’re not most people, right? That’s why Alice loves you. That’s why I think you should tell him.”

Shin takes a drink from the water bottle. He’s really glad she went to grab this. The cool refridgerated water helps to cool him down after getting so flustered and worked up. 

“I think you’re right to be mad at him. You’re right to feel upset. I don’t know exactly where you’re coming from, but it was a stupid move on him. It doesn’t really matter to me if there’s a deeper reason as to why it upset you or not, because what matters is it upset you, and he should know that. Right now, he doesn’t realize that that’s the reason you’re ghosting him. He can be a little dense, but you and I both know he’s good. He just needs a little guidance.”

“Yeah,” Shin replies, voice a little weak from crying. “I’m just…scared. I feel like he’s gonna be upset with me, just for making such a big deal about it…”

Reko rolls her eyes. “Trust me, if he tries anything, I got your back. If it’ll make you feel better…I can help you say it to his face. I really don’t think he’ll be upset, but I want you to know I support you. You two…You really make Alice happy. And I know how much he loves you. I want you both to get better from this. You shouldn’t be afraid to say you want in your relationship.”

Shin sighs, her words erasing all the fears and doubts in his mind. Right, this was his relationship. A good one, one filled with love and care. Alice always did his best for Shin, and Shin appreciated the man’s patience whenever Shin acted a little unexpectedly. Plus, hearing how Reko came out of concern for Shin rather than just to berate him for how he’s been treating Alice…Shin can’t help but feel touched. He didn’t expect this side of her. He didn’t realize just how sweet and kind she could be. No wonder Alice looked up to her so highly.

“Thanks,” he said with a small smile. “That means a lot, really.”

He shifted in his seat a bit, fidgeting with the bottle in his hands. Would it be inappropriate to ask-?

She slid off the counter, her arms opening up as she seemed to read his mind.

“Now come on, I know you need it.”

He blushed a bit in embarrassment, but all the same walked into her arms. She wrapped her arms around him, giving him a gentle squeeze as he sniffed. He was glad he was wrong about her. And glad to know she gave a pretty good hug. 

---

yeah idk lol

DAY 327: YEAH IDK LOL STRIKES AGAIN!!!!

[selkiefinalist]

Oh, willycale??? I’m intrigued??!!!!

ok sorry this took a bit. willycale was birthed because i was tired of cale getting so aggressively third-wheeled by nate and his boytoy sidney at the asg, and i was like ‘can someone please show cale some appreciation/attention’ and also willy, who certainly appreciates the heavy crown of being the second-best sparkle in someone’s eye.

ANYWAY i’m about 3k into it, would like to finish at some point this year. here’s a little snippet from the scene where willy takes cale to a drag bar:

The bar music cuts out. “Let’s hear it for Lady Bing,” says a voice over the speaker. The crowd and the lights go nuts all at the same time, and the opening chords from some eighties hair band blast through the bar, thrum all the way through Cale’s chest.

“Lady Bing?” he yells over at Will.

Will smiles but stays focused on the stage. “Everyone loves hockey.”

Lady Bing slinks out from behind the stage curtain. She’s in a cherry-patterned dress and red heels that are open at the front so her toes peek out, and her wig is stacked so high that Cale spends half her act just watching it shimmer under the shifting lights, the waves and curls of it glinting pink and gold in time with the song.

Cale wolf-whistles just like everyone else when she finishes her performance, and Will laughs over at him.

“Do you want to buy her a drink?” Will shakes his own empty glass. Cale’s drink is gone, too, somehow, a citrus-flavored ghost in his mouth.

“You want another?” Cale asks. It’s easier than saying I’d buy you a drink, since he doesn’t have to say it because he can just buy Will a drink and it will be the same thing as saying it but better because he’s actually doing it and not just saying it —

“Yeah, sure. If you do.” Will runs his finger over the rim of his glass; it’s hard to tear his eyes away.

Cale focuses so hard that the concentrated beam of his thoughts could probably start the table on fire, but manages to order the drinks.

[final-girl96]

My Boyfriend's Back Chapter Thrity-Three

Hallie squeezed her hands around my throat tighter, cutting off my airway. My nails clawed at her skin before punching her in the side. It was enough of a distraction to get her to loosen her grip on me, the air rushing back into my lungs making me gasp and cough. I took no time in trying to suck more air into my lungs before punching her again, this time clocking her in the jaw.

I crawled away from her, slightly coughing from the burning in my lungs. I heard Derek grunt and turned my head to see Sidney going for the knife on the floor that he had dropped. When Derek looked up at her she swung but missed. He took the opportunity to tackle her to the floor in order to try and get the knife back.

I felt Hallie wrap her hand around my ankle, directing my attention back to her. I kicked my other leg out, pushing the bottom of my shoe into her shoulder and pushing her away. I pushed myself to my feet, Hallie following me. "I'm going to fuckimg kill you!" You hissed at me. "Still won't get him to fuck you! He wouldn't touch you if you were the last pussy on earth. You're nothing but a pawn in his game!"

She jumped at me and I stepped back away from her. I pulled the knife from my waistband and held it out towards her. "What? Did you actually think he likes you?" I let out a little laugh which only pissed her off more. Then she pulled a gun out and pointed it at me. I hate my fucking life. Why can't I just have a normal fucking life?!

"Once you're gone…" she took a step closer to me. "He'll forget about you. You'll fade away and it'll be like you never existed. He'll see I'm the better choice for him. I understand him unlike you!" She pressed the gun to my chest and took the knife from me. I looked around her to see Derek had a hold of Sidney again, knife to her throat. He was whispering something in her ear.

I looked back at Hallie and smiled. "That's cute. You actually think he'd ever forget about me. He doesn't want you. He never wanted you. He uses you so it was easier for him ro get to me. If I don't kill you…" I leaned a little closer, feeling the barrel of the gun press harder into my sternum. "He most definitely will. And it won't be quick and easy. He'll make you suffer by killing you slowly.” A gunshot went off and I flinched but there was no pain, I was still standing, and breathing. I looked up into Hallie’s eyes to see them wide with shock before her head turned towards the back to the theater where the doors were.

It didn’t appear like anyone had been hit and the gunshot was just a warning; a way to get everyone’s attention. It was too dark to see who was standing up there. But then they slowly descended towards the stage. Of course, another ghostface. They did say they had a third partner. “Hello, yn.” Fucking christ on a damn cracker. Why can’t these assholes just leave me alone. Why me? Why not Sidney? Okay, so that sounds bad, but that isn’t what I meant.

I just mean they all seem to want to come after me. The only one that went for Sid was Billy. Sure Stu helped him but he was more focused on me. And Derek was currently holding her at knife point, but he wasn’t going to kill her. I don’t think… “What did I say? She is mine.” Hallie looked at them and rolled her eyes.

“Well, maybe if you were here when you were supposed to be. Besides, she just continues to piss me off.” Her gaze turns back to mine and the next thing I know, I was being stabbed…again…close to where I was stabbed a few days ago. My hand wrapped around Hallie's wrist to try and keep her from twisting the knife.

"No!" Sidney yelled. Hallie pulled the knife from me and my hand went straight to my stomach. Blood seeped through my fingers and dripped onto the floor. "Oops. Looks like I stabbed you again," Hallie said, shrugging.

Derek grunted and Hallie looked behind her at him. I took a quick glance to see him falling to the ground and Gale standing behind him with a gun in her hand. She pointed it at Hallie and Sidney bent down to grab the knife away from Derek. I looked around when I noticed the third ghostface was gone. "Wait, where'd he go?" I asked.

Gale looked at me confused, "who?" She asked, the gun still pointed at Hallie. "There's a third person, Gale. They were just here before you came in!" Gale's eyes widened and just as she opened her mouth a pair of arms wrapped around my waist, lifting me off my feet, and pulling me backwards. Gale was pointing the gun at the person behind me, but didn't dare pull the trigger. She would hit me inside of the person behind me if she would.

I struggled against the tight grip around me. My legs kicked back and forth, nails trying to dig into the skin of their arms under the black material of the robe they were wearing. I tilted my head forward and threw it back so the back of my head connected with the mask covering their face. The grip they had on me loosened enough that I could get away from them.

I tripped over my own feet as I stumbled forward, falling to my knee, my hand shot out to help break my fall. Pain shot through my abdomen and I bit into my lip to keep myself from crying out. Hallie had cut me deep but not deep enough that it would kill me. My brain switched from the pain to survival when the sound of heavy boots sounded behind me. I scrambled to my feet, spinning on my heels.

"What? You too pussy to show your face? Or is it because you're the person who said he had nothing to do with any of this?! I knew I shouldn't have let a tiny piece of myself believe that you were telling the truth. Of course you would have something to do with this. Why don't you just fucking me kill me already? Get it done and over with, Stu! You keep saying you love me, but I don't think you do."

He tilted his head, right hand reaching up towards the mask, and began to pull it off. I would say I was surprised, but I wasn't. I should have seen It coming, honestly. "Oh, he loves you. He's obsessed with you, actually. Which is a huge problem for me. Because you see, yn…" I took a step back the closer he got to me. "I want you for myself. Like Derek has been with Sidney, I've been obsessed with you since I saw you on the news after what happened. And if I can't have you…well, then nobody can."

[lgbtqmanga]

New Releases Jan. 30, 2024

The Moon on a Rainy Night (manga) vol. 3 by Kuzushiro

Saki and Kanon are walking around town when a sudden gust blows some flyers for a hair salon toward them. The two girls gather them up and return them to the owner, a salon apprentice, who unexpectedly asks Saki if she would come to the salon to sit for a test cut. Saki agrees, and when she visits the salon later that week, the young stylist recounts a story about a “friend” who fell in love with one of her female classmates during their school days. Could she be trying to tell Saki something...?

Saki’s confusion about her feelings for Kanon only deepens when Kanon ends up spending the night due to a situation at home. As the two girls are lying in bed facing each other, Kanon tells Saki about her conflicting dreams for the future: she wants to live on her own someday, but she also wants someone around whom she can count on...someone like Saki. Kanon drifts off to sleep, but Saki remains awake long into the night, wrestling with the turmoil within her. All she knows is that she can’t go on like this much longer...

My Cute Little Kitten (manga) vol. 2 by Milk Morinaga

Rena and Yuna have been roommates since school, and decided to rent a place together after graduation. They've lived together as friends for five years, but things suddenly change the day Yuna adopts a kitten, even though their apartment doesn't allow pets. When Yuna says she wants to move somewhere that will allow them to keep the kitten, Rena admits her true feelings: she wants to be more than friends. Yuna isn't sure how to reciprocate, but she's game to try!

Pandora in the Crimson Shell: Ghost Urn (manga) vol. 17 by Masamune Shirow and Rikudou Koushi

The secret society Poseidon has officially launched Operation Third Lightning, and danger looms over the island of Cenancle. Meanwhile, in order to stop the battle between Clarion and Phobos, Nene and Neko-chan attempt to go inside Clarion!

Sailor Moon Naoko Takeuchi Collection (manga) vol. 6 by Naoko Takeuchi

Features the updated translation and high page count of the Sailor Moon Eternal Edition in a more affordable, portable edition. Perfect to go wherever you or the magical guardian in your life want to take it!

Teenager Usagi is not the best athlete, she's never gotten good grades, and, well, she's a bit of a crybaby. But when she meets a talking cat, she begins a journey that will teach her she has a well of great strength just beneath the surface and the heart to inspire and stand up for her friends as Sailor Moon! The original Sailor Moon in a new, affordable edition.

Whisper Me a Love Song (manga) vol. 7 by Eku Takeshima

Newly confident in their feelings for each other, Himari and Yori are able to tackle their roles in their respective bands with fresh enthusiasm. Himari even convinces Yori to write a new song for SSGIRLS’ school culture festival performance, and this time, it’s going to be a group effort. This song will belong to the whole band, and they eagerly discover the ideas each of them has to contribute to its creation. Meanwhile, the members of Laureley have begun to open up to Himari and end up taking her on an unexpected daytrip, where she learns some crucial details about the band’s past. But there’s one more secret she doesn’t know yet--one that will put Yori center stage in this emotional drama...

[theresa-of-liechtenstein]

well, there’s my first quarter as principal second finished 🥹

so i may be forming a quartet with ate honorsprofessor and my viola friend and as yet unnamed undergrad cellist????? fucking unreal. my life is a dream. etc etc

speaking of ate honorsprofessor she has developed the alarming propensity to TEASE me incessantly, what the actual fuck 😭😭

like i’ll do anything and she’d just roll her eyes and say to the nearest person (usually my viola friend) ‘typical engineer’

we had pretty much my dream rehearsal lineup order for the last rehearsal of quarter: saint-saëns cello concerto no. 1, dvořak 7 third mov, and finishing off with the brahms serenade 1 first mov. i reaaallly wanted to finish with the brahms and tita conductor READ MY MIND!!! mind melding for the win!!!

btw i am insanely jealous of the whole rest of the orchestra from measures 440 to 471 of the first movement of the brahms serenade. they get the most pussy-popping good part and the seconds are fucking TACET. every time i get the biggest stupidest grin on my face that i know i’m going to have to school into neutrality in february when i’m on stage because it just sounds SOOOOOOO GOOD

decided to hang around afterwards to thank tita conductor because. if there’s anything i know it’s that you really should tell the people you care about and are grateful that you care about them and are grateful for them when you can etc.

ate honorsprofessor and viola friend waited for me but since tita conductor was a bit busy i had to wait and told them they could just leave, it was okay, but ate honorsprofessor got up behind me and started SHOVING ME TOWARD TITA CONDUCTOR. GIRL HELP

finally after all the teasing, they let me be and i waited for tita conductor to finish up talking to our trumpet before she waved me into her office

kind of forgot everything i was going to say (didn’t end up drawing her anything, i just wanted to say thank you) so ended up a bit of a wittering mess of gratitude and then she ended up thanking ME which made me into more of a wittering mess

like girl help she was like ‘it’s so symbiotic, we get so much from you, you take away so much’ ‘i only ever have to tell you once to do something and you follow right away’ ‘you pick up on what i ask of you’ ‘you never miss an entrance’ NOOO DONT COMPLIMENT ME I WAS HERE TO THANK YOU—

also asked me how i liked having ate honorsprofessor in my section and told me that when ate honorsprofessor came to her, she told her ‘you’ll be meeting the principal second, em lastname’ and apparently ate honorsprofessor cut her off to say ‘oh i KNOW em! don’t tell her i’m coming, i want to surprise her!’ 😭🫣

well. i was, in fact, very surprised.

also the fact that the brahms serenade 1 first movement and haydn 104 finale both began with folksy drones was not intentional (but she thought it was a good observation on my part. and she also pointed out the similar opening motifs for both. which i hadn’t noticed)

(that didn’t have to do with anything i was just genuinely curious if it was intentional)

tita conductor was also like ‘i know you will be working hard for us over break, but make sure to make time for your own music too’ 😭😭😭😭😭 u right u right i have been neglecting the third movement of the bach concerto in a………….. but also that was kind of your fault so……………… jk

also i helped her put a photocopy of a score she was studying into a pronged folder that looked like it definitely had seen better days and she was like ‘lookit, it’s so compact and it weighs nothing at all!’ and tossed it up and down, looking genuinely delighted. it was pretty cute of her

anyways my god i never thought i’d be able to do this in my first ‘real orchestra’, i never thought i’d have an opportunity like this, and i couldn’t stop thanking her i am sure it was getting annoying but my god i’m just so grateful i don’t care if it spills out of me every which way i’m glad to let it all out. i’ve never had to do anything like this in my life and of course i’m going to make sure i do it right and of course i’m going to give it my all

tl;dr: january 9 could not come more quickly.

[mintedwitcher]

Gonna start fucking hiding my cigarettes and tobacco again if my grandmother - who is supposed to be on a fucking 5-a-day ration per her doctors orders - doesn't stop fucking stealing from MY packs while I'm sleeping or out of the house.

And she wants to bitch about the ration like? No? She just got out of hospital for the third time in just over a month, she had a fucking embolism this time, she's barely over the fucking pneumonia that sent her back in the third time. She's staying on a fucking ration. She should be fucking grateful I'm not forcing her to quit cold.

(The ration is doctor ordered; my grandmother has been a smoker for over 50 years, quitting completely cold turkey would do more harm than good to her at this point. Her doctor is happy if she can cut down her consumption in stages, but is she listening? Is she going to follow those orders? Of course not, according to her, she's home so she can do what she likes.)

Times like this I really fucking wish I was not tied to her by my fucking job. Being a carer is dogshit and anyone who tries to say it's an easy or rewarding job is a fucking liar.

[tobiasdrake]

Trying on a new hat!

So Kurane was completely unsuspicious for the entire show. So then what caused the blackout, if not the lighting team? Could have been an accident, I suppose. Hmm.

Being on the catwalk also gives her a good vantage of the poison shuffling, which would have been the best time for Waruna to add the poison.

However, it occurs to me that if Waruna added the poison, then it can't be the stuff from the chem lab. Waruna was on stage for the whole performance, which was over thirty minutes long. The chem lab poison would have gone bad by the time she got her chance.

The time limit on the chem lab poison makes it supremely difficult for it to be used in any of the going theories, which most likely means the poison itself is wrong.

Given the glass's likelihood as the poison vector, that's extremely suspicious. Yoshiko may be retaking her position as prime suspect.

(Of course, a conspiracy of two or more suspects is also possible and should not be ruled out.)

That's actually a group photo, Yuma. Yoshiko tore the others out of it so that only herself and Aiko are present. I recognize that bowl-cut from our Third Party Omniscience look at her corpse.

Seems to corroborate the "Yoshiko had a crush on Aiko" rumor. This is all looking super incriminating for Yoshiko.

Hold up. Kurane's accusing Yoshiko and Waruna? She clearly implied that she thinks Waruna poisoned the cup, but she's also passive-aggressively implying that Yoshiko's responsible. Interesting.

Does Kurane think Waruna killed Karen under orders from Yoshiko? Because that would fit with the "Yoshiko was complimenting Waruna on a job well done" interpretation of Yoshiko's ambiguous words earlier.

A conspiracy angle also fits with the "Karen was having second thoughts because she knew how Aiko died and wanted out, and she was killed for it" theory.

...but that would in turn imply that Yoshiko was responsible for Aiko's death. I suggested before that Yoshiko may have killed Aiko for the betterment of the group. But Yoshiko's crush makes that unlikely.

OH ARE YOU NOW. HMM. I wonder where that could be.

Yeah, that settles it. If the glasses themselves are the vector for the poison then Yoshiko is the killer.

That's still a big if, though, because it would have happened an hour before a performance that's itself over 30 minutes long. Once again, we're running up against the time limit of the only poison we've found thus far.

However this same testimony strongly implies that the glasses were not the vector. The prop student who set them up on stage inspected the glasses and found them to be in pristine condition.

Is there a way Yoshiko could have prepared a poisoned glass and swapped it with a pristine one mid-performance, thus resulting in the one now residing in her locker? That would have to happen during the five-second blackout, which isn't a lot of time to do anything of the sort.

And we already have testimony that Yoshiko never left her seat during the blackout. So. No.

This could potentially be a new option for our poison vector. It would allow someone to spray poison into a glass during the five-second blackout.

The most likely candidate for such an angle would be Kurane, due to literally having the best angle. But Kurane wasn't alone up on the catwalk, and we have testimony that says she never did anything weird or out of place.

Was she still visible up there during the blackout? Hmm. Hard to imagine the pinpoint accuracy needed to spray from up there, though.

Yoshiko was in her seat at the front of the stage during the blackout, so her angle is terrible. I think only Karen or Waruna could have used this. But I also think the lighting crew would have seen them pull out a gun and spritz it into a glass. That's hard to sleight-of-hand.

Also, again, Waruna or Karen would have run into the thirty-minute time limit, if it's that poison.

[oonajaeadira]

Hi Adira!

I come to you today with a selection of questions from the Colbert Questionert:

Apples or oranges?

Have you ever asked someone for their autograph?

What’s your favorite action movie?

KAT!

SUCH QUESTION.

When it comes to apples or oranges, it depends. I hate peeling oranges, so if they're not cut up, I'm lazy and going for the apples. I love the taste of a fresh orange very much and will generally gravitate to orange slices. But, the real kicker is if we come down to orange slices and a damn fine Honey Crisp. I will knock you down for a Honey Crisp. So really, the order is

Honey Crisp apple

Orange slices

Some strains of apple if orange not peeled

Orange.

Shitty apples.

And then, if we're including clementines as an orange, then it's all clementines all the time.

.

I have asked MANY people for their autograph. I used to hang out with some alt rock indie girls and went to many concerts and you weren't really a fan if you didn't hang out at the stage door and talk to the band. I have many stories.

And, of course, I have a whole section of my bookshelf that's just full of signed books. Lev Grossman (The Magicians), Audrey Neffenegger (Time Traveler's Wife), Erin Morgenstern (Night Circus--I had a very meaningful exchange with her actually), "Lemony Snicket" (that was actually a fun time), Laura Tempest Zakroff and I had a love connection over my gushing over her sigil book, and I think I have at least three books signed by Caitlen Doughty of "Ask a Mortician" and Order of the Good Death fame because she's fkn amazing.

A few of my tarot decks are signed too. Mostly because I reached out by email and asked for it personally before they were sent out.

But my favorite was asking Harvey Pekar for his autograph. For those who don't know, Harvey was a comic book writer of American Spendor. (Paul Giamatti played him in the movie of the same name.) He's also famous for being a grumptastic crumudgeon. He came to the Minneapolis book fair to speak about his career and I took my then-boyfriend Tony to go see his presentation as a surprise birfday gift. Well, Tony bought about five of Harvey's books and wanted to get them signed so we waited in a long line. When we finally got up there, Havey got more and more exasperated with every book Tony pulled out of the bag. At the end he just grumbled, "Jeez. Got any more?" And Tony smiled and shook his head, happy to be getting the grumpy treatment that Harvey was known to give. Then Harvey turns to me and says, "What about you?" And since I was impulsive and he was asking, I literally hoisted my leg up on the table and said, "You wanna sign my PANTS???" And you know what? He did. He rolled his eyes and tried not to smile, but that man took a sharpie to my leg and put his name on my jeans. Those were my Pekar Pants and every time I washed them I went over the sharpie again. I wore those pants until they split in the ass. I should have kept the signature part, but I didn't (it was really faded), and that's okay. The memory's pretty good.

RIP, Harvey. <3

.

My favorite action movie is the Guy Ritchie/RDJ version of Sherlock Holmes. I will still put that sucker on repeat when I'm sick and just need something playing when I'm coming in and out of sleep. I love love love anything dealing with Sherlock Holmes and RDJ is so pretty and Mark Strong is terrifying and the soundtrack is amazing and the cinematography is fkn bomb and the overall design is fantastic...

The sequel was fine. Do I need a third one? No. Will I devour it anyway? Fk yes.

[ravenya003]

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Witch, S01E03

Sorry, this one's a bit late as I had to work Sunday.

The second episode of any long-running series is always interesting to watch, as well as a tricky thing to achieve. The writers are still setting up the character beats, the story-arcs, the rules of the world – basically, the general FEEL of the show. It’s easy to get things wrong, as you can’t take any big swings this early on, but you also don’t want to get so bogged down in set-up that you neglect to tell a story.

Even more so than the pilot, the second episode should clue the viewer in on what exactly they'll be tuning in for very week. If the pilot is the hook, then the sophomore episode has to reel you in; has to be a textbook example of what the show actually is.

(Also, a lot of the money shots will have already been spent on the first episode in order to get everyone’s attention, so you’re probably going to be working with a smaller budget as well).

And yes, I realize this is technically the show’s third episode, but Welcome to the Hellmouth and The Harvest originally aired on the same night and are two halves of a single story. For all intents and purposes, Witch is the show’s sophomore episode.

For what it’s worth, I think Witch nails it. The episode introduces the Monster of the Week format, letting the audience know that Buffy won’t just be fighting vampires. It shows us what exactly Giles’s role as Buffy’s Watcher encompasses, and demonstrates that Willow and Xander are committing themselves to Buffy’s fight against evil – partly because they’re good people who know it’s the right thing to do, and partly because they’re invested in Buffy herself.

It even introduces a fairly important recurring character: Amy Madison, who will appear in almost every season of the show henceforth (season five is the only one she sits out).

Obviously, witches will soon become a huge part of the show’s lore – second only to demons and vampires – and the episode establishes a few key traits about them, from the use of potions and spell books to the fact that the really evil witches get a case of Black Eyes of Evil when they're mad.

(We will see this identical eye-colour on another witch further down the track, and if you can’t guess who it is, just follow the link to the TV Tropes page...)

Most importantly, it cements the central theme of “high school is hell,” with various supernatural threats being elaborate metaphors for the trials and tribulations that teenagers have to go through – in this case, overbearing parents trying to live vicariously through their children. In the real world, Catherine would be a stage mum. In Sunnydale, she’s a witch that can magically switch bodies with her daughter. Such is life on the Hellmouth.

It kicks off with Buffy wanting to join the cheerleading squad and Giles being singularly unimpressed. But Buffy’s reasoning kind of breaks my heart – she used to do it before her calling to vampire-slaying, and she wants to start up again because she just wants something normal and safe in her life. She looks so young and perky! Sarah Michelle Gellar still has baby fat in her cheeks!

Of course, that’s the cue to cut to a witch’s lair filled with bubbling cauldron and Barbie voodoo dolls.

During try-outs, Buffy is introduced to Amy Madison, and it’s established that she and Willow have been friends for a long time. I like that the two of them have this history together, and Willow shares some pertinent details about their friendship – most importantly that the two of them used to sneak brownies when Amy’s calorie-counting mother wasn’t looking.

(This is something that Buffy will use to clock what’s really going on towards the end of the episode, and even though I’ve probably watched Witch a dozen times, I’ve only just realized this detail is deliberately planted early on).

Amy comes across as pretty nice in this scene, so it’s odd to recall that she’s already Catherine.

There’s an amusing moment when Willow states that a cheerleader called “Amber” trained with someone called “Benson.” Later an actual Amber Benson will join the cast. But that’s not nearly as funny as Xander being given the line: “no need to drive it into my head like a railroad spike”. Just... wow.

During try-outs, the star performer Amber spontaneously combusts, and the best part is that Buffy tackles her to the (very hard gym) floor before dousing the flames. Seriously Buffy, was the full-body tackle necessary?

Two good character beats: Giles is extremely chipper about all the fascinating (and deadly) supernatural threats they’re likely to face thanks to living on a Hellmouth, while Willow and Xander eagerly volunteer to help in the investigation. They dub themselves the Slayerettes, a term that I don’t think ever comes up again across the entire course of the show. Perhaps it’s just as well.

Buffy is cautious about their enthusiasm and delivers a basic warning, but then pretty much gives them the green light to get involved. I like that Buffy’s defining attribute as a Slayer (that she has a network of friends that contribute their own skills) is introduced in such a low-key way. Hey civilians, you want to help me fight witches and vampires? Sure, why not!

In hindsight, Amy talking up her mother, trash-talking her dad, and complaining that “I can’t get my body to move like [my mother’s]” are hints as to what’s actually going on here.

There’s a red herring scene with Amy hearing spooky noises in the locker room and then getting threatened by Cordelia, nicely setting her up as a victim and not a culprit.

Neither Buffy or Amy made the squad and the former is genuinely empathetic towards the latter. That’s Buffy’s other great strength – she makes friends easily because she truly cares about people.

Ah, Sunnydale faculty members! I always love seeing glimpses of the high school staff on this show, whether it’s Mr Pole (driving instructor) or Dr Gregory (the biology teacher who gets decapitated in the very next episode). Just imagine having a fulltime job that gives you a front-row seat to all the weird shit the Hellmouth can spit out – and that’s on top of having to teach a bunch of teenagers high school curriculum.  It can’t be a coincidence that all of these actors chose to play their characters as So Very Weary.

In this episode alone Mr Pole is nearly killed by Cordelia during driver’s ed, and Dr Gregory is witness to a student having her mouth magically sealed shut. How did Sunnydale Syndrome account for that?

The gang are attempting to concoct a potion in a beaker that will reveal whether or not Amy is a witch, and not doing a particularly subtle job of it as they gather ingredients from biology class – though it is interesting to note that Willow is the one doing most of the brewing. We’re looking at her first brush with witchcraft.

Buffy “accidentally” spills the potion on Amy’s arm and it turns blue, indicating that she is a witch – right at the same time another cheerleader starts panicking because her mouth has disappeared. It's a horrifying thing to witness, but Buffy notices that Amy looks just as freaked out as everyone else.

This is a bit of an odd red herring, as the gang are now working with the hypothesis that Amy is the witch, but unaware of what she’s actually doing – even though the very next scene demonstrates (to the audience at least) that she’s completely in control of events, going home and ordering her cowed “mother” to do her homework for her. I suppose we have to chalk her reaction in biology class down to Catherine’s acting skills.

In any case, she also knows that Buffy is onto her, and reveals that she’s nabbed her bracelet. So Buffy is next on Catherine’s hitlist.

Buffy’s response to the spell is to go hyperactive, then collapse. Giles identifies the “bloodstone vengeance” spell pretty quickly and accurately (which feels like it could be a hint as to the darker proclivities of his past BUT belies his statement later on that he’s never cast a spell before. Hey – it's the second episode. They’re still figuring things out).

While Xander and Willow watch Amy cheer at the basketball game, Buffy and Giles just leave the school grounds for Amy’s house. It’s kind of funny that this happens all the time, and Giles never got in trouble for it. Nobody ever noticed that the school librarian was spending an inordinate amount of time with a student?

As Giles confronts who he thinks is Catherine, Buffy notices a plate of cookies on the floor and realizes that she’s Amy. In doing this, she’s clearly recalling Willow’s story about how they used to eat brownies together, but this is the first time I’ve noticed that link. Until now, I always just assumed that a grown woman curling up with a plate of brownies struck Buffy as more of a teenage girl thing to do.  

At the same time, Catherine is stuttering: “dad... her dad left...” and I love her hysterical little laugh when she says: “you know, kids these days!” All this is a tip-off that Catherine has switched bodies with her daughter, and poor Amy soon crumbles. About a month ago she woke up in her mother’s bed and realized her body had been stolen, which is a genuinely terrifying scenario. I’ve always been creeped out by Body Snatching stories.

Giles investigates the attic and finds that it’s a witch’s lair filled with clichés: a cauldron, magical tomes, and the inevitable Cat Scare. I’m pretty sure that last one was included just so they could have a cool clip to use in the opening credits.

While all this is happening, Willow and Xander are keeping eyes on Amy during the basketball game, and there’s a pretty neat pan from the action of the cheerleaders and crowd to the stillness of the Slayerettes. (Okay, I’ll stop calling them that. But they are taking their new role seriously).

Giles, Buffy and Amy-in-Catherine head back to the school and the biology lab, where Giles begins the spell to reverse all of Catherine’s magic (stupidly, they do not tie up Amy despite knowing that the plan is to put Catherine back in this body). Over in the gym, Catherine-in-Amy can feel the spell start to work, and after toppling off the pyramid, she gives the rest of the cheerleaders a pretty lethal death glare and makes a feral run for the door.

Willow and Xander attempt to stall her, and are taken out immediately. Still, I wonder if Willow was a little impressed by Catherine disabling Xander with only a hand gesture. That’s real power right there.

Some tension builds once Amy and Catherine are transported back into their own bodies, but Buffy is also back to full-health and uses the old “use a giant mirror to bounce a witch’s spell back upon her” trick. Why is there a giant mirror hanging from the ceiling of the Sunnydale biology lab? It doesn’t matter.

What matters is that Catherine has disappeared and Giles informs Buffy that this was “his first casting.” LIAR. Okay, so we can head-canon that he’s just trying to keep his past as Ripper from her for as long as possible, but the truth is the writers just hadn’t conceived of that backstory for him yet. And that’s okay. A few little continuity flaws give a show flavour and the fans something to argue about.

In the wrap-up scene we see that Amy is happy living with her father (I would have liked to see him on-screen, especially in later seasons when Amy takes a downward spiral) and she and Buffy gaze for a moment at Catherine’s cheerleader trophy displayed in the hallway cabinet... both missing the fact that its eyes are moving. Yes, Catherine is the cheerleader trophy, now doomed to relive her glory years in perpetuity. Great ending!

Miscellaneous Observations:

Joyce and Buffy are clearly set up as a foil to Catherine and Amy, and it occurs to me that this is a rare show that spotlights a mother/daughter relationship. More than that, a good mother/daughter relationship, especially for this genre. I’m wracking my brains and I can’t think of another one. Adults have to be useless, absent or antagonistic in these types of shows (if they’re targeted towards a slightly younger target audience, you can bet they’ll just make the protagonist an orphan).

In any case, Joyce and Buffy aren’t exactly on the same page, but clearly their rapport involves nothing like the outright abuse inflicted on Amy.

An early scene shows Joyce in the capacity of an art gallery curator, opening crates in the kitchen. It made me realize that we never, ever see Joyce’s place of work. Not once! And it’s a bit strange in a way, as that setting had a lot of potential to be filled with cursed artefacts and paintings, like how Charmed used the Auction House in season one for a similar purpose.

The plotting of the episode interests me, as it comes up with three possible scenarios the writers could have gone with: that Amy is trying to please her mother by making the cheerleading squad and not realizing she’s picking off the other girls with magic, that Amy is deliberately using witchcraft to take out the competition and is terrorizing her mother on top of it, or (the one they went with) that a body-swap between mother and daughter has occurred. It’s such a rich premise that any of these three scenarios could have made for a good story.

That said, they kind of lose the original premise of a child being so pressured to live up to a parent’s exacting standards that she’s driven to desperation, replacing it to one of a parent being envious of a child’s youth and vicariously attempting to relive their glory years through them.

I’ve always wondered a little about Catherine’s backstory. Was she a hereditary witch, or self-taught like Willow? Because we know that Amy will manifest magical abilities as well, and even ends up with a streak of jealousy like her mother (though it’s directed at Willow).

Also, Giles removes Catherine’s spellbook from her house in order to reverse all her witchcraft. What happened to it afterwards? Come to think of it, we never see that Vampyr book from the first episode again either.

This episode establishes that the Sunnydale basketball team is called the Razorbacks and their mascot is a pig. We’ll be seeing more of this later down the track...

Great casting on Elizabeth Anne Allen and Robin Riker as mother/daughter. They looked very similar, and channelled each other’s inflection and body language while they were playing each other’s character.

Also, I love this demon on the gate that leads to Amy's house:

To sum up, I really love this episode, and is possibly my favourite season one episode after The Puppet Show. Maybe a bit too much time was spent on the cheerleaders falling prey to Catherine’s magic (the stuff with the driver’s ed lesson was clearly just to give Charisma Carpenter enough screentime to justify her placement in the opening credits) and it’s a Clueless Mystery in the sense that the audience is given no chance to figure out what’s going on before Buffy does (who gets the clues she needs in the same scene that she realizes what’s actually happening), but I still love it as a concentrated case study of what the show is offering us.

Best Scene: When Buffy drunkenly tells Xander that he’s “one of the girls” and we get this expression on Willow’s face:

Best Line: Freed from the bloodstone vengeance spell, Buffy leaps to her feet behind Catherine and says: “Guess what? I feel better.” It’s more in the delivery than in the words as-written, but is just the perfect blend of menace and perk. Buffy doesn’t doubt that she’s a threat, and subsequently tosses Catherine across the room.

Best Subversion: Amy wasn’t the witch after all, it was her mother using her body all along! What a tweest!

Death Toll: No one died in this episode! I suppose that makes sense, as otherwise Buffy and Amy would have been permanent members of the cheerleading team. Which means...

Grand Total: Four civilians, five villains.

[andthorns]

"everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise" — sylvia plath

full bio ✶ statistics ✶ pinterest ✶ playlist ✶ birth chart

BASICS

name: mari nakamura

age: 22

date of birth: 27th may 2001

gender & pronouns: cis woman, she / her

sexuality: bisexual / biromantic

hometown: nice, france

education: third year creative writing student

occupation: part-time bookseller at bernardi books

PERSONALITY

+ perceptive, generous, witty, protective, just – judgemental, hypocritical, nosy, impulsive, stubborn

zodiac: ☉gemini; ☾ leo; ↑ virgo

mbti: istp-a (the virtuoso)

alignment: chaotic good

temperament: choleric

vice: pride

virtue: diligence

tropes: badass bookworm; write what you know; amateur sleuth; holier than thou; cool loser; deadpan snarker; not so above it all; cultural rebel; daddy's girl; hypocrite; i should write a book about this; odd friendship (with rosemary); sibling cousin yin-yang (with oleander)

BIOGRAPHY (abridged)

mari's parents are the definition of opposites attract - rinji nakamura, a famous crime author from a family of well-respected journalists, is a quiet man, reclusive and sensible. ariane auclair, a socialite turned model turned one-time actress (an erotic thriller that was critically panned) from a wealthy family of her own, is reckless, and outgoing, and more than a little vain. no one really knows how they met or why they got together, but they did, and they had mari.

she was always closer to her father, who would let her stay in his study while he wrote. she would lie on the floor reading, or drawing, and eventually writing along with him. she declared that she wanted to be a writer when she was seven.

the circumstances surrounding mari's mother being cut out of her parents' will are somewhat shrouded in mystery. what's common knowledge is that ariane borrowed A LOT of money from them over the years, and got away with it for a long time as she was the baby of the family. when they eventually chose to confront her about this, however, there was an argument that turned pretty nasty — no one knows exactly what was said, but ariane made some below the belt remarks so damning that she was cut off.

the nakamuras moved into a smaller house, sold overseas properties, and mari started to attend a much cheaper private school. neither her nor her father were remotely bothered by this. in fact, it was refreshing. she learns from her peers, visiting places that real people go to and discovering the value of money that isn’t endless. in stages, she grows to detest where she came from, and her own family most of all.

despite now being social pariahs, they were still invited to the occasional family gathering (she suspects solely so they can be gossiped about). in the summer before her second year at meraviglia, oleander's family invited them to stay for a week. after six days of passive aggressive comments and thinly veiled insults, mari snapped.

during a party the day before they were due to leave, she slipped into oleander's mother's dressing room and tried her luck with the safe, correctly guessing the code after a few attempts (her son's date of birth — really, she was asking to get robbed) and stealing the marchesa diamond.

the act of stealing their precious diamond was not about acquiring something of worth, but about taking it away from them. she told as much to professor dupont, who seemed amused by her story as she detailed scouting the room for security cameras, an awkward encounter with a maid as she exited her guest room flushed with pride, rejoining the party with no one having noticed she’d left.

mari doesn't particularly like dupont – he’s far too much of an entitled snob for her taste – but as a child raised on mysteries, there is a certain appeal to the whole situation that gives her a quiet thrill. it’s why, in spite of her feud with caper, she was so willing to team up with them again in order to solve it. it’s harmless fun that allows her to get close to one of her best friends again, but she can’t deny that she would like to find out what happened to him.

HEADCANONS

since her family was cut off from her grandparents, mari has become something of a kleptomaniac. she never steals anything too valuable (with one notable exception, of course), usually just small trinkets that people might not notice are gone, but over the years she’s amassed quite a collection. pieces that were stolen years ago are displayed around her apartment like trophies. more recent acquisitions are kept locked in the bottom drawer of her desk.

she lives alone in a small apartment off campus. it’s notoriously disorganised, with mugs, papers and clothes scattered across every available surface, and books stacked precariously in towering piles on the floor. though she makes efforts to tidy it all up every once in a while, she actually quite enjoys the mess, as it makes her feel like a real writer.

at any given time, mari is working on several writing projects. a book of poetry, a one-woman play, a collection of essays. her favourite, however, is a biting satirical novel about wealthy families and hubris (think knives out).

one of her best qualities is that she’s unfailingly generous. most frequently seen materially – always more than happy to pick up a tab or give away books or clothes because ‘I read this and it reminded me of you’ or ‘it would look better on you anyway’. to those she's closest to, she’s also generous with her time, and is extremely dependable if you need someone to show up in an emergency.

mari doesn’t particularly like parties, but will attend the occasional gathering with the idea of finding some inspiration. every so often, however, she’ll feel the need to blow off some steam and will overindulge in whatever’s available. it’s also not uncommon to find her drinking on her own in an evening, or smoking a joint on her rickety balcony.

truth be told, she’s kind of a gossip. It’s not intentional, or through any ill will, she just enjoys the basic principle of acquiring and passing on knowledge. particularly grave or serious topics discussed with close friends she knows to keep private, but if you decide to tell her about someone you have a crush on, you’re running the risk of that person knowing within the week.

she’s surprisingly gifted at forging handwriting, a skill her friends are welcome to utilise if they ever need it.

music is something that mari treats with almost as much reverence as she treats the written word. she has curated playlists for every possible mood or activity you can imagine (motivational, shower, despondent, angry, cooking, sex), and uses them to fuel and inspire her writing. (however, she also has a penchant for true crime podcasts. she blames her father for this.)

speaks japanese, french, english, and italian fluently. she enjoys reading books in all four languages and comparing the way similar concepts are treated so differently, but her own writing is usually in japanese or french.

she has all of her father’s books preserved carefully on a shelf, and reads them whenever she misses him.

[ladyhindsight]

It tells a lot about this book when I am only in the third chapter and I’m already thinking when will this end.

Simon goes back to Jordan’s and Maia is there. Stuff is awkward.

How does he know the T-shirt is long-sleeved if Maia is wearing a jacket?

Really lovely that the first impression is Maia and Jordan starting to see each other again when Maia clearly was not over her trauma over Jordan in CoFA.

Cut to Clary in the New York Institute about to steal the faerie rings for the Seelie Queen.

→ The first time Jace had taken her...

Why is Tessa’s pendant in New York? For any plausible reason than having yet another TID reference.

Way too long interruption.

→ The case was locked, of course. Clary, biting her lip, drew and Opening rune, careful not to make it too powerful lest the glass case burst apart and bring people running. It unsnapped the lock.

→ Why would anyone come running? When the PoV changes to Clary, the very first thing written is: “The rattling gold elevator stopped at the third floor of the Institute; Clary took a deep breath and stepped out into the hallway. The place was, as Alec and Isabelle had promised her it would be, deserted and quiet.“

Then dun, dun, duuun. Jace and Sebastian appear to steal some books from the library and Clary hides.

→ The ice in Clary’s veins crystallized

→ Nothing ever seems to compare to the feelings Clary has relating to Jace.

Useless adverb when it is later written than Clary’s lip is bleeding, showing that she bit her lip really hard.

→ ...a spotlight on a stage. The chips of glass and marble and bits of....

→ It is truly shocking how Sebastian and Jace appeared unexpectedly and out of nowhere to the library but not shocking enough to not make a note how much better Sebastian looks with his natural hair color.

→ This is the third time the comparison to Snow White is made. The first two were in City of Fallen Angels made by both Clary and Simon separately.

I understand that this is a stylistic choice but at the same time, get to the goddamn point without all these detours.

→ but nothing visible showed that it has ever been missing. (Sebastian’s severed hand that is)

I am fairly certain there is at least one occasion in every TMI installment where Jace is wearing something white and his Marks are visible through the shirt, and Clary always ogles at him.

→ Clary’s heart began to pound PERIOD. The context shows us it is because of she’s afraid.

→ Sebastian was murder, blood, pain, and terror. Jace had fought him and won once but had nearly died... (Get those metaphors in)

Not once has Jace initiated this kind of casual physical contact with Alec. This is manipulation of the previous narrative in order to redefine their poorly depicted relationship.

Same point as above. Also, Jace doesn’t have friends. He has family and Clary.

→ She tasted the blood in her mouth.

→ She should get up, move, runaway.

→ What do you mean she wasn’t supposed to be there?? Clary isn’t banned from the Institute nor is the library restricted from entering? They have casually been in the library before. What is this nonsense.

We cut to Alec at Magnus’ place. Alec is picking up yet another fight with Magnus, and I am done.

This is just bogus. The issue began with Alec not knowing anything about Magnus’ past. It was a frustration that build up gradually and generated distrust and feelings of triviality. Everyone wants to be someone’s first choice, and Magnus was unable to give Alec the sense of safety as to their relationship by withholding his past relationships (all kinds) and past in general.

If they recognize this as an issue, they are doing absolutely nothing to deal with it. Magnus is written wanting things to go his way, without having to truly commit to Alec by revealing all the parts of himself while Alec is expected to be content with the status quo and not deal with issues that eventually need to be dealt with. Alec’s own insecurity as to this helps nothing and makes things worse, but neither are doing nothing to solve it.

A lot of reviews on this book are happy that Magnus dumps Alec in the end because Alec is a moron in this installment, which is true, but at the same time all the responsibility as to their relationship and its troubles are pushed on Alec to mend and be better for being the absolute moron. Which isn’t how this works, and as the actual adult and the more experienced one Magnus should know if Clare knew how to write sensibly anything regarding this relationship.

All of this just underlines how terrible the basis for this relationship is, and how either of them behave doesn’t really make me wish for them to overcome these issues. Of course, as they eventually do, it’s disingenuous, dishonest, and unearned.

We cut to Maia and Jordan.

→ No. Maia owes Jordan nothing.

→ Pray tell why Maia or Jordan or any werewolf gives a fuck about Jace Herondale being gone? This is strictly Nephilim business, anything that would affect the Downworld as well has not happened. Why is Jace being gone having any effect on Maia or Jordan? They are not friends and barely know each other.

→ Why are they looking for Jace on their own accord? Why do they care so much about him?

“#¤%&/(!

Cut to Simon meeting up with Isabelle, Alec, and Clary.

Again, get to the point without all this detouring.

→ and broke off as the phone in his pocket buzzed.

Akin to “it was too late” and “she never got to finish her sentence”, stop telling when you are actively showing what is happening.

→ Scrap that whole sentence.

[jackredfieldwasmyjacob]

BENIDORM FEST 2023 SONGS

Below I'll detail all 18 songs that'll compete to represent Spain in Eurovision 2023 next January at Benidorm. I'll also add some tidbits that they said in the presentation they did this morning, and they'll go in the order they used for said presentation as well cause it makes it easier for me.

Everything will be below the cut as I'll be linking the youtube videos to the songs (if there is one) and I don't want to take much unwanted space on your dashes. Here is the official spotify playlist btw, you'll be able to listen to all songs there if you prefer it.

I'll be completely impartial here, if you want more insight into my own reactions to each songs, you can search the tag 'benivivi23' in my blog <3

Finally, throughout these weeks I'll be posting the translated lyrics of the 18 songs here, in case you don't want to miss them I'll use that same tag 'benivivi23', to have everything organized (i'll also use the tags i'll use here tho so there shouldn't be any problems)

Anyways, let's start :)

AIRE BY SHARONNE

Sharonne (1976, Sabadell) is a drag queen known for winning the second season of Drag Race España. It's her second time entering the preselection for Eurovision, as she participated in the 2001 preselection within the group Trans-X. Right now she's one of the protagonists of the national tour of the drag show Gran Hotel de las Reinas.

Aire [Air] was composed by herself, Iván Torrent, and Alejandro Barroso. The song talks about liberating oneself, about taking a deep breath and continuing on. In the presentation, she said that the song was composed with the Benidorm Fest in mind, and that she was inspired by all the people that had reached out to her in social media talking about how seeing her and other drag queens thriving had helped them; it's her way of thanking them.

2. ARCADIA BY MEGARA

Megara (born in Madrid in 2015) is a self-proclaimed 'fuchsia rock' group with an aesthetic that combines dark undertones with cotton candy. They have a total of three albums and two other EPs.

Arcadia is a reference to the idea of Arcadia Felix, a Heaven on Earth. In the song, Megara makes Arcadia a virtual world where two girls fall in love and live their particular Arcadia. It was composed by Megara members Sara Jiménez Moral and Roberto La Lueta Ruiz, and their producer, Israel Dante Ramos. In the presentation, they talk about how their dream was getting into the Benidorm Fest so they've already achieved their dream, but they'll fight to go to Eurovision as well. They're also very honored to represent rock for the first time in Benidorm Fest.

3. DESDE QUE TÚ ESTÁS BY ALFRED GARCÍA

Alfred García (1997, El Prat de Llobregat) was first known as a contestant in Operación Triunfo 2017, where he ended up fourth [imo his best performance there was Maldita Dulzura]. Afterwards, he was selected to go to Eurovision 2018 with Amaia, where they sung Tu Canción. Since then, he has released 2 albums.

Desde Que Tú Estás [Since You Are Here] is a song dedicated to a person that made him rediscover and feel again things he hadn't felt in a while. The lyrics were composed by him and the music is by Raúl Gómez. In the presentation, he says that it is one of the best songs he has ever composed, and that he was inspired by love as something revolutionary.

4. EAEA BY BLANCA PALOMA

Blanca Paloma (1989, Elx) is the only returning artist to the Benidorm Fest, as she participated in the last edition with Secreto de Agua. Eaea is only her third single.

Eaea was composed by herself and José Pablo Polo, and it is a flamenco-sounding song made as a tribute to her roots and ancestors through lullabies, a sorrt of remembrance of where she came from to know where to go to. In the presentation, she said it is a tribute to her grandma, Carmen (the woman in the cover of the single).

5. FLAMENCO BY ARITZ AREN

Aritz Grau Sueira (1992, València), his stage name being Aritz Aren, is mainly known as a dancer, as his leap to fame was the dancing TV show Fama ¡A Bailar!, where he ended up as the runner up. Since then he has gained a large following on Tik Tok, and has worked in Madrid and Shanghai. In this last place, he coreographed the productions of Fame and World of Dance. Finally, he has taught dance classes at one of the best studios in Tokyo, Dance Studio.

Flamenco was composed by Carlos Marco, Frida Amundsen, Kaci Brown, Sam Gray, and Tonino Speciale. It is a song that fuses urban and latin sounds with autochtonous Spanish elements. In the presentation, he says that for him the song means the unrestraining oneself and letting yourself just feel at the beginning of a relationship. He is very happy singing it and he feels it matches quite well with him. He is also already working in the staging, and he told the interviewer that there'll be dancing in it.

6. INVIERNOS EN MARTE BY JOSÉ OTERO

José Otero (1990, Telde) became known after participating in The Voice México in 2019. Since then, he has published a number of singles and collaborations with artists like Karen Méndez.

Inviernos en Marte [Winters in Mars] is a power ballad composed by himself, Manu Chalud, Gabi Ore, Kenia Saiz, and Karen Méndez. It talks about impossible love and giving up once you realise you have lost someone you love. In the presentation he said it is a song composed to be sung live, and that the lyrics talk about vulnerability in oposition with lost. He was inspired by his father's death last year.

7. LA LOLA BY FAMOUS

Famous Oberogo (Amsterdam, 1999, raised in Bormujos) was first known as the winner of Operación Triunfo 2018 [I think we can all agree his best performance was Uptown Funk], where he participated in the preselection process for Eurovision 2019 and manifested his love for Eurovision and his wish to go someday, he even got to sing with Cesár Sampson. Since then, he has been preparing his first album with a few singles already out, and is currently playing Rafiki in the Spanish production of The Lion King, in Madrid.

La Lola [The Lola] was composed by Adrián Ghiardo, Andrés Sebastián Ramírez and Jorge de la Cruz, and talks about that feminine side everyone has, dubbed Lola in this song. In the presentation he says that Lola is fierce and fun, and that with this song he wants to start up a party and wants people to have a fun time and enjoy it. He also said that there's gonna be dancing in the staging as well as interesting 'vocal stuff'.

8. MI FAMILIA BY FUSA NOCTA

Miriam Nares Signes (1996, Gandia), best known as Fusa Nocta, rose to fame in 2019, when she was a viral contestant in the Spanish X Factor. She's been writing poetry since she was 15, and she only recently started doing music as well. She has participated in many festivals like Madcool, Puro Latino, or Arenal Sound.

Mi Familia [My Family] fuses different sounds to explore her own family, talking about both the prettiest and the darkest parts of it. She composed the song alongside Ignacio Moreno González and Carlos Padilla Linares. In the presentation she was overwhelmed as she didn't expect so many support after the song released, and revealed that the little girl who talks at the beginning and the end of the song is her baby cousin. She goes a bit more in depth about the song, saying it talks about the advice her grandmas have given her, and about how much family really means for her. She also wanted to include the crudest parts of family.

9. NOCHENTERA BY VICCO

Victoria Ribo (1996, Barcelona), best known as Vicco, has been playing the piano since she was 9, and shortly after she started writing her own music. She started her first band, Carpanta, with her own sisters, and when she was 19 she opened for Alejandro Sanz. She has since released an album, a few singles, and has composed for a multitude of artists, like Mireya Bravo, Flori, María Escarmiento, or Edurne.

Nochentera [a portmanteau of both 'noche entera' (full night, in the context it's more like 'all night'), and 'noche ochentera' (80's night)] talks about that moment when you like a person and want to do anything to see them, and so you throw up a party to be able to bump into them and dance together. It is a hymn to happiness and good vibes, it was made to feel like a party itself. In the presentation she said that a lot of stuff will be going on in stage, and that it will be lot's of fun. She also said that there's a lot of good songs in the preselection, so it's gonna be complicated to win.

10. NO NOS MOVERÁN BY MELER

Meler (formed in Madrid in 2020) is a band formed by Loren, Javi and Jonathan that started playing in the London underground and Madrid metro until the pandemic, when they were forced to look for alternate ways of doing music and created Meler. Now they have a couple singles out and have opened for Taburete.

No Nos Moverán [We Will Not Be Moved] is an energetic song made to dance, sing, and jump. It talks about that moment when you wish you could stop time to stay like that forever. It was composed by Jonathan Geraint Burt, Francisco Javier Pagalday González, Natalia Neva Martín, Oliver García Cerón, and José Héctor Portilla Rodríguez. In the presentation they said that they're working hard on the staging because it is very different to what they're used to do. They also said that the song was made with Eurovision and Europe in mind. Finally, they commented about how there's hints on how the staging will be in the music video.

(aparently you can only put ten videos per post so i'll link the rest of the videos in the titles of each song)

11. QUE ESCLATI TOT BY SIDERLAND

Siderland (formed in Barcelona in 2018) is a band formed by Uri Plana (voice and guitar), Albert Sort (bass), and Andreu Manyós (drums). They defined their sound as 'night pop', and since their debut they have played in multitude of venues in Barcelona.

Que Esclati Tot [Let Everything Explode, this might not be 100% accurate as I don't know Catalan] was composed by Siderland in collaboration with Roger Argemí. It has the typical sound of the band, and it tells the story of two lovers who react differently to a world that is collapsing; one accepts destiny and prepares themselves for whatever may happen, while the other refuses to do so and ends up alone. In the presentation they talked about how they tried to get into Benidorm Fest last year, and about how the staging is going to be explosive. This is the first song in Catalan in Benidorm Fest.

12. QUIERO ARDER BY AGONEY

Agoney Hernández (1995, Adeje) was first known as one of the contestants of Operación Triunfo 2017, ending up in 6th place [his best performance is undoubtably Eloise]. Since then he's released an album, and he's currently staring in the music contest Dúos Increíbles alongside legendary singer Ana Belén [they recently sang Eloise together!].

Quiero Arder [I Want to Burn] is an explosive song composed by Agoney himself where he gets to do complicated vocal work, as he's known for. In the presentation he threatened to burn Benidorm to the ground, and he said that he needed to made that song when he composed it, and that at first it wasn't gonna be the song he was going to present to the Benidorm Fest, but he got an impulse to do so and he went against the advice of the discography.

13. QUIERO Y DUELO BY KARMENTO

Carmen Toledo (Bogarra, Albacete), better known as Karmento, first started her musical career in 2012, when she moved to Malta. She made her first album there, and then came back to her homeland to release her second one. She self-defines herself as a 'singer-songwriter, sexologist, and lover of emotional communication', and her sound as 'neofolklore', combining the folklore of her land, La Mancha, with more modern sounds.

Quiero y Duelo [I Want and I Mourn] is a local expression of La Mancha that expresses the feeling of wanting something and battling with the pains and difficulties of trying to achieve it. She talks about her own quiero y duelo with music and also about all of those who had to abandon their roots in order to have a better life. In the presentation she said that last year watching Benidorm Fest she was impressed by the acts and wanted to send something to the contest this year because of it.

14. SAYONARA BY TWIN MELODY

Twin Melody is a group formed by the twin sisters Paula and Aitana Etxeberria (1999, Ordizia), known in all Spain thanks to their large following in Tik Tok (more than 18 million followers). They currently study Education in university and are regular guests in the late show El Hormiguero. This year they debuted in music with Ciao, a collab with Emma Muscat.

Sayonara was composed by Twin Melody, Jonathan Geraint Burt, and Natalia, and it is an empowering song about self love and leaving behind things that harm us or don't show our true selves. In the presentation they said that the song is in French, Spanish, English, and Basque, because those are the languages Twin Melody speak and they wanted to make the song as genuine as possible. They talked about how they are already preparing themselves for the staging and how they have filmed the music video. They want to combine song and dance.

15. TRACCIÓN BY RAKKY RIPPER

Raquel García Cabrerizo (1995, Granada), better known as Rakky Ripper, was one of the pioneers of Spanish hyperpop in 2019 alongside PUTOCHINOMARICÓN. Praised by artists such as Charli XCX or Dorian Electra, she was named one of the VOGUE Hot Talents 2021. She has published an EP and been in dozens of music festivals such as Sónar, ValleEléctrico, Covaleda, BIME, WarmUp, or SXSW.

Tracción [Traction] was composed by Rakky Ripper alongside Kickybombo, and it is a song with a sound that mixes hardcore, drum&bass, and techno. It talks about when you like someone but you are incapable of telling them so you just fantasize about them and the sexual tension and the fear of rejection just get entangled in all of that. In the presentation she says how Benidorm Fest is going to be a crucial point in her career, as well as a personal challenge cause he wants to give the best show ever.

16. TUKI BY SOFÍA MARTÍN

Sofía Martín (1996, Alicante) is a Hispano-German artist who uses her multicultural background to fuse different music styles and write in three languages. She has a few singles out of the dance and latin dance genres.

Tuki [aparently it's a Venezuelan word that means 'young punk', kinda like chavs in England or canis / chonis in Spain] was composed by Sofía, Freddy Rochow and Claudio Maselli, and it is a combination of Spanish and Latin rythms with European beats from dance and electronic music. It talks about being able to achieve your dreams no matter how or where you came from; tuki is that feeling when you finally achieve your goal after a long time working on it. In the presentation she says that she doesn't have any expectation in regards to Benidorm Fest, that she goes with the flow.

17. UFF! BY E'FEMME

E'FEMME (formed in 2019) is a girlband inspired by K-Pop groups and sounds, and formed by Sandy (1997, Pamplona), Melania (1998, Santa Cruz de Tenerife), BUBU (1999, Madrid), and Lottie (2000, Madrid). They want to combine all visual arts in their projects.

Uff! is a song composed by E'FEMME alongside Antonio Escobar and Barei. It is an empowering song about getting one's inside strength outside to stand your own ground. In the presentation they said that the song perfectly reflects their energy.

18. YO QUISIERA BY ALICE WONDER

Alicia Climent Barriuso (1998, Madrid), best known as Alice Wonder, is currently one of the most known artists in the Spanish indie scene. In 2017 she released her first EP, and has since released a full album and multiple collaborations with artists such as Javiera Mena.

Yo Quisiera [I Would Want] was composed by herself, and talks about the storm brewing inside someone who stops trying to understand the world and simply lives in it. Alice says that even if it seems like a pessimistic song, it is really positive, as it talks about having faith despite life's inconsistencies. In the presentation she talks about how the song was born from an improvisation in her mum's piano in a moment of shock. She also says that she really doesn't know why she's there, in the Benidorm Fest, and how all of it is really out of her comfort zone.