#she’s not allowed to have Ws

[alaraxia]

I’m drawing I’m drawing

[sleepless-in-starbucks]

"average cis person has familiarity with 3 atypical pronouns" factoid is actually statistical error. average cis person has basic familiarity with they/them. Pronouns Oizys, who has tumblr & discord and interacts with 10,000 different pronouns every day, is an outlier and should not have been counted ( ˘ ³˘)♥ ( ˘ ³˘)♥ ( ˘ ³˘)♥ (ik ur not cis but alskdfjs;lkdfja it can be pronouns meri if u want idk)

i am . poisoning data sets >:]

but ty!! i thought the bigender-binatural connection was cool too <33

and actually!! the workshop went over better than i thought it might!! only one person actually mentioned the pronouns thing and everyone seemed to understand when i explained character being bigender + seemed to think my solution of only changing pronouns between sentences (rather than at every switch point) would work better. i also had one person say they got the hang of the pronoun thing partway through so they thought it was good, and my prof made a point in her feedback letter to say she thought it worked well and wasnt confusing at all :]

honestly it kinda looked like the reason so many people said the pronoun thing wasnt bc they really had issue with it, it was bc they needed Smth to say for 'areas of improvement' and most genuinely didntve anything to add!! which in a roundabout way is really cool!! bc it means they all loved my work a lot and thought i did very good INCLUDING on the dialogue which is what i was most worried about

[landofgay]

what does it mean when u keep thinking about breaking up with ur bf not cause u need to break up but cause u need a fucking BREAK apparently except I would miss him constantly but god I need a break

except I get to go back to work tomorrow but I am not even looking forward to it

[notafunkiller]

Bucky Barnes is the best super soldier

How it was subtly emphasized in The Falcon and The Winter Soldier:

He always holds back

With the Flag Smashers and even with John Walker. We could see the difference in the last 3 episodes. Sebastian Stan did an incredible job making it clear in a subtle way.

I want to mention that famous "Stay there" scene, and how it was visible Bucky was not punching as hard as he can in the fight with John.)

This is the thing about Bucky, he isn't after the kill, he just does his part. He doesn't try to show off his skills or that he is a good guy. He doesn't try to play the victim role, either. In the scene where Zemo fake-activates the Winter Soldier in Madripoor, he just makes a point. He's obviously not even trying hard.

If he wanted those in the club dead, they would be. But his self control was wow. Sebastian acted so well, his exes said everything.

*And to be honest, even when he was TWS, he could have killed everyone, but he didn't. He could have killed all of the Avengers in Civil War is they were his mission, but they weren't. This is how Natasha survived when she met him, too. It depended on what kind of mission he had (if he wasn't allowed to be seen, then the witnesses would die too, but otherwise? He didn't bother).

2. His skills

People tend to forget how smart and good at making strategies Bucky is. He's been fighting (even though he hates fighting and never wanted to be in the army) for years before he was even captured by Hydra. And this is the reason why government still want him, after all. They can use his strategies as a leader (*cough* Thunderbolts *cough*).

In the last episodes of TFATWS, we could see how he outsmarted everyone. Karli was so terrified of him.

3. Karli Morgenthau

And talking about Karli, the phone call was interesting:

She asked him if he's not tired of fighting for the wrong side, and then told him she's fighting for something bigger than herself.

"And with all the bodies you've collected, have you ever been able to say the same?"

The first thing I wanna point out is how everyone talks about the deaths Bucky caused when he was controlled by Hydra, but everyone ignores the fact that all the Avengers killed far more, but since we consider them the good side, we just don't care.

Clint, Tony, Steve, Wanda etc. They all cause(d) far more deaths than "two dozen" (known assassinations - to quote Natasha), and neither was controlled. The double standards are something else, especially for Clint. (One of the reasons why Tony was on the other side in CW was because of his guilt, after all.)

The second point is how Bucky's answer says a lot more than we might realize at first:

"You don't think I ever fought for something bigger than myself? That's all I ever tried to do, and I failed twice."

Even as TWS, Bucky had to be convinced he is on the right side, that what they do is to save the world, to give "the world the freedom it deserves".

Even brainwashed and put to sleep all the time, he had to be lied to. Bucky as TWS was a victim too. He is not a victim only because he didn't have memories or control, but also because they lied to him and used him as a toy. That milk scene is so loud. (And I am gonna talk about it in a different post). He had no rights, no choices. He was used to being tortured.

[And I wish they explored it more. We deserved and deserve a WS film - maybe with him in Romania getting back his memories, writing in his journal etc.]

"You think your cause justifies all this death, but in the end, the nightmares won't go away. You're gonna remember all the ones you killed. Trust me. Don't do this. Don't go down this path."

Despite being on opposite sides, Bucky still said this to Karli, trying to help her, to make her see the big picture, sharing how he felt and feels.

He is on "the right side". He is a hero, and Bucky being thanked by that man for saving everyone's life was touching.

4. Baron Zemo

You can see how smart, strong, and rational Bucky is when he decides to break Zemo out of jail (his plan was amazing too), risking so much (his relationship with Wakanda people and his own freedom) to get his help for the mess. He puts the cause above his own (huge) trauma. And this makes that moment in Madripoor even more disgusting (he is treated as an object, as a toy):

Zemo: Tell us what you know about the super-soldier serum. And I give you him, along with the code words to control him, of course. He will do anything you want.

The way he keeps his composure, reacts and manages the situation... absolutely incredible!

This conversation also says a lot:

Zemo: The desire to become a superhuman cannot be separated from supremacist ideals. Anyone with that serum is inherently on that path.

Bucky: Maybe you're wrong, Zemo. The serum never corrupted Steve.

Zemo: Touché. But there has never been another Steve Rogers, has there?

Bucky positions himself below Steve, who's considered a good hero, a good person... like no other. But Steve never had to go through what Bucky did: from being kidnapped like that, to being tested on, to falling off the train, to being tortured, and used, and brainwashed for decades, and put to sleep when he was not needed and having n "keepers".

Also, interesting how all Steve wanted was to fight (for a good cause, but still)... and fighting still means violence, meanwhile Bucky never wanted to fight, not even before becoming TWS, in the army (and yet he is still great at fighting. And he is deadly, even when he holds back.). All he wanted was peace.

Despite not getting the "perfect serum", despite being brainwashed, put to sleep, and forced to fight for decades, he is still himself. He never gave in to the dark side for real. He fought in his own way. The first thing he did when he woke up was to choke the Hydra guy with a whole new arm!

Bucky is so underrated: from his intelligence and fighting skills, to how human he is. Being flawed, keeping his sassiness and charm from the 40s, but getting more mature and carrying his past on his shoulders... he's so relatable and real. And every day, he shows Zemo he is wrong.

The show he makes in his final scene with Zemo is absolutely fantastic. He doesn't just prove the point he isn't defined by the serum and Hydra (AND not even by Steve, thanks to Sam. His speech made him realize the important thing about himself: that he decides who he is, not others - even those who know him before becoming TWS- "And this might be a surprise, but it doesn't matter what Steve thought. You gotta stop looking to other people to tell you who you are." parallel to "Steve believed in you. He trusted you. He gave you that shield for a reason. That shield, that is… that is everything he stood for. That is his legacy. He gave you that shield, and you threw it away like it was nothing. [...] So maybe he was wrong about you. And if he was wrong about you, then he was wrong about me."), but also that he is superior.

When Zemo tells him that he decided to let him alive (probably so he can kill Karli) and basically calls him a killing machine: "programmed to kill", Bucky plays the role, lets Zemo talk him into killing Karli, and then Bucky watches him waiting for his own death.

[Also, Bucky's line: Imagine my relief is hilarious.]

The acting was incredible: the shock on Zemo's face and the amusement and somehow relief on Bucky's after he pulls the trigger and lets the bullets fall... He proved him he's THE standard of the super soldier. Because despite everything he went through, he is the best.

Zemo telling him to cross his name off felt like a fresh start (+ telling Nakajima the truth).

5. John Walker

John, on the other hand, is lucky Bucky is an understanding person. He gets what is like... the pressure, the environment, the loss, and even tries to help.

Bucky: Don't go down that road. Believe me, it doesn't end well.

John: I'm not like you!

Of course he is not like Bucky, because Bucky has control. He is not killing to get revenge in a cynical way.

"That serum doesn't exactly have a great track record."

John kept judging Bucky every time they spoke, somehow placing himself above this "broken" man.

"This is all really easy for you, isn't it? All that serum runnin' through your veins. Barnes, your partner needs backup in there. Do you really want his blood on your hands?"

This is so wrong on every single level, especially because Bucky didn't choose to take the serum, and he always had his friends' back. He's loyal and ready to sacrifice himself.

The "funny" part about this is John ending up taking the last super soldier serum vial. All the judgement, the disgust, the patronizing tone, just to do that. Plus, of course, to kill someone with the shield.

(John proves Zemo's point about super soldiers, and Bucky does the opposite.)

And what is it easy for Bucky anyway?

He's under government conditions (so CACW coded), he has a vibranium arm that I bet the government would try to take after he dies (HOPEFULLY WHEN HE'S 200 YEARS OLD IN HIS BED, as Sebastian wants too) if he isn't in Wakanda, he is haunted by nightmares (which also can mean he is still Hydra's TWS in another universe as we found out from Strange), and he has to learn how to live for real. He's smart, charismatic, has values and principles, and he's incredible.

We need to see his version of TWS going after everyone Hydra helped. TWS is him, a part of him, and doing that on his terms, having control over it would help him heal.

[onlyangel4]

Ooo what about Got Me Started by Troye sivan with Charles??

got me started. cl16. writen + smau.

charles leclerc x model!reader

you thought attending the eras tour would be the most exciting part of the night. you never imagined you would meet the man of your dreams while there

author's note: guys this might be one of my favourite things i have ever written.

warnings: cursing.

y/ninsta posted a story

written: hanging with bestie begging her to tell me what surprise songs she is gonna play tonight

y/ninsta

liked by taylorswift, maisiepeters, sabrinacarpenter and 1,002,283

y/ninsta: gold rush

view all 14,852 comments

taylorswift: is this your hundredth attempt to convince me to play gold rush tonight

y/ninsta: yes, yes it is

user1: y/n is so real for the gold rush love

user2: come on taylor listen to your friend

sabrinacarpenter: pretty girl

y/ninsta: means a lot coming from the prettiest girl

celebsaterastour posted two stories

story one written: model y/n y/ln arriving to the stadium in milan in her gold rush inspired outfit

story two written: f1 driver charles leclerc spotted in the vip tent ahead of paramore's opening set

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"just follow me down here y/n", a security guard spoke trying to navigate you through the see of fans that swarmed you as soon as you got into the stadium. security had been awaiting your arrival but your driver had accidentally dropped you off at the general admission entrance and that meant the second fans saw you leaving your car you were swarmed by fans, they had good intentions but they also made it so you could not get to where you needed to go. so in a panic you had called over one of the stadium security guards and he managed to get through to taylor's security, the people that had been waiting for you to arrive. it was all a little bit of a mess but the big burly man in front of you effortlessly made the crowd part allowing you down onto the floor of the stadium. "taylor made a note to put you in the left vip tent, she said there ws someone there that she wanted you to meet", he spoke and you quirked an eyebrow. what was your best friend planning?. you just nodded your head with a smile and soon enough you were there in the tent, protected from the fans.

"thank god for that", you spoke as you picked up a bottle of water that had been set on the side. "are you alright?", a masculine voice spoke from your side and you looked up to be met with a man that you had never met before but you gave him a smile, "i'm okay there was a little bit of a mix up when getting into the stadium, so fans came running, for a moment there i thought i was going to get trampled", you ranted to this stranger before shaking your head, "sorry you probably don't want to listen to me yap on"

"on the contrary i quite like a yapper", he spoke and you laughed, finding this man's charm rather endearing. "i'm charles by the way", he introduced himself, "i'm y/n"

"so y/n what are you doing in milan? you don't sound like you are from around here"

"very perceptive", you teased, "i'm a model i kind of live whereever the jobs are but i have been working on a promotional campaign here. taylor is a very close friend of mine and i was gutted that i was not in the states when she was there so she arranged for me to come here", you explained and he listened, that was nice.

"i understand, i'm an f1 driver so i am all over the place most of the time, i usually miss out on big events like this and end up with fomo so i felt lucky that this show is on my week off", he spoke.

"well i hope you enjoy the show, taylor is an insane performer, she doesn't half know how to put on a show"

and with that the eras tour intro began to play signifying that your best friend was about to come on stage, you cheered for her, showing the man next to you that you truly were taylor's number one fan. the first few songs of the set flew by with you smiling from ear to ear the entire time. when lover began to play your body began to sway side to side in time with the music and charles found his body doing the same next to yours. charles would not call himself a massive taylor swift fan but he had heard that she put on a brilliant show and that was why he had arranged to attend the concert. but right now stealing glances at your happy swaying form next to him made him very grateful that he had come to the concert.

during the fearless section of the show the endorphins got to your brain and any ounce of shyness left your body so you turned to charles and began singing the lyrics with him bouncing a little on your heels just having the best time. charles even took your hands during love story just having the most fun ever. your happiness truly was infectious, he did not care that their were thoursands of people with cell phones surrounding the pair of you. honestly he hoped some of them were filming so he could have videos of this night forever.

as the concert went through you spent time just dancing and singing with charles but when taylor started singing delicate, it became apparent that there was tension their between you both, charles had moved to stand behind you and you leant you body back against his, your head resting against his stong chest, "is this okay?", he asked as his hands moved torest around your waist

"yes", you exhaled softly, you were still singing the songs but you definetly got a few lyrics wrong thanks to the intoxicating presence of the man behind you. if you were paying attention you would have noticed the way taylor seemed to be singing directly in the direction of the vip tent that you were in, her blue eyes watching you and charles a smug grin on her lips. but you did not notice that you were too busy trying to not get caught up in this moment you were sharing with a stranger.

when delicate finished charles moved back to your side rather than beside you, you grabbed a few drinks from the cooler that was in the vip tent asking if you wnated anything and you accepted one of the canned cocktails that you had asked taylor to get you and charles had a beer.

you and charles remained close for the rest of the show, gentle touches between both of you, charles gently moving your hair out of your face or resting an arm around your shoulders. it was nice, yes you knew nothing about this man but it just felt right.

when taylor got to the surprise song section of the concert you turned to charles, "I am going to kill her if she doesn't play my song" and that made charles laugh

"what is your song?", he asked

"oh you will know if she plays it"

and he knew straight away as taylor began to introduce the song.

"so many of you know that i do take requests for the surprise song section and well there is one person here who has gone above and beyond to request this song. this past week she has text me every single day about this one song. she even wore an outfit inspired by this song. safe to say this y/n y/ln's favourite song", taylor spoke and the fans that knew you cheered knowing exactly what taylor was about to sing and you were beaming, you pulled your phone out to film it but charles turned to you, "you enjoy this, i will film it", he spoke and and you handed him your phone. he filmed the song even getting some footage of you singing your heart out. once the song was done you smiled taking your phone back from charles kissing his cheek thank you.

as taylor finished singing karma you turned to charles, "are you going to the after party?", you questioned.

"i haven't been told about an after party", he spoke, obviously not wanting to leave your side but not wanting to go to a party that he had not been invited to.

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erastourupdates posted a story

written: charles leclerc and y/n y/ln were photographed arriving at a club in milan where taylor is holding her post show after party

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once inside of the club your eyes found taylor quickly, she was stood with travis smiling ear to ear at the sight of you and charles holding hands. you ran over to her pulling her into a hug, "you are insane", you laughed softly. charles had left you alone and headed to the bar to grab you both drinks.

"he is something else", you confided in your best friend, "we just have this chemistry, i can't even describe it"

"i watched you two during gold rush, he looked at you like a man stunned", taylor spoke and you blushed softly.

"i know i told you not to meddle in my love life but you cooked here", you spoke making her laugh out loud just as charles got to your side, "i thought you might like this, it is like those cans you were drinking earlier"

"thank you charles", you spoke taking it from him taking a sip, "shit this is good", you smiled. taylor then took travis' hand and pulled him onto the dance floor and charles gave you a questioning look making you giggle, "is this you asking me to dance". he didn't answer instead he took your free hand and pulled you onto the dancefloor finding a space in between all the moving bodies. you both still had drinks inyour hands but you made it work, your body effortlessly moving against his in time with the music playing on the speakers. charles finished his beer and set the cup down and you did the same with yours. this allowed you both to get as close to each other as you wanted.

charles rested his hands on your hips his eyes looking down at you, "pretty girl", he whispered softly and your eyes looked up at him, "can i kiss you?", he questioned and you wordlessly nodded. his lips moved down to meet yours in a sensual kiss and the rest of the room melted away around you. his hand travelled down to the small of your back pulling you against him.

"fuck", you whispered once you pulled away making him chuckle.

"y/n i think we should get out of here"

"you are not getting lucky on the first night" you warned playfully

"i know but i want to actually get to know you, i want to actually spend time with you and i don't think we can do that in this club, let me take you back to my hotel room, no funny business"

charles kept to his promise. you guys went straight back to his hotel and you just spoke for hours before falling asleep cuddled up to one another. and that is what started a relationship with the love of your life.

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y/ninsta

liked by taylorswift, charlesleclerc, iamrebeccad and 1,248,734

tagged: charlesleclerc

y/ninsta: tbt to the very first night

view all 56,873 comments

user3: i still can't believe taylor swift is the one that introduced charles and y/n

charlesleclerc: the best night of my life

y/ninsta: i love you so much

taylorswift: i knew you guys would get on, i didn't know you would get on this week

y/ninsta: well it has been six months and he isn't sick of me yet so you did pretty well

iamrebeccad: i am so grateful for miss swift because she is the reason i met you

y/ninsta: aw i love you becca

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[jezabelle9299]

Caretaker S.R x fem!Reader

Reader is hired as a live-in caretaker for Diana. Describes when she accidentally flooded the apartment, but I kind of mess with canon and plot. Could kind of take place after prison other than that. Diana ships Reader and Spencer. Reader is a graduate student in an online program.

C-Ws: Diana slaps reader, descriptions of alzheimer's and schizophrenia, Spencer is not used to people trying to take care of him and thinks he'll scare away reader.

(I've worked in a memory care/assisted living facility, and have a few relatives with alzheimer's and schizophrenia. But this is based on my still somewhat limited experience. And I have no medical experience, mostly just hospitality and comfort based work)

You had finally gotten to the address the agency gave you, after waiting a short eternity in the Washington traffic. It was a live-in caretaker job of a woman with schizophrenia and alzheimer's, living also with her son who traveled often for work. Your contact at the agency said the son, Dr. Reid was very nice and was ok with your slightly more limited experience. You buzzed and after a little while the man you assumed to be Dr.Reid came to the door. 

“Hi, you must be Ms.Y/L/N from the agency, I’m so glad you’re here.” He looked both shocked and relieved, like he thought you wouldn’t actually show up. While you were trying not to notice (Or at least trying not to show) that you thought the doctor was particularly gorgeous. But he would not only functionally be your employer, but also a sort of roommate. Plus you really wanted this job, you were a little new to being a live in caretaker after working in assisted living facilities since high school. You were in a grad program now, one you were completing online that allowed you to have caretaking as your career. 

“I’m happy to be here! You must be Dr.Reid?” 

“I am, and this is my mother Diana Reid.” He gestured to the woman on the couch, who had yet to even look at you. I mean you were kind of invading her house, so you couldn’t blame her. But you were determined to make her like you, I mean this job is a huge opportunity, and as you were new to the city the live in position was a two-birds-one-stone situation.  

“Hi Ms. Reid, I’m Y/N, it’s lovely to meet you. Your son has told me so much about you.” You gave her a nervous wave as you walked in front of the couch, still attempting to give her space while being in her line of sight. 

“I’m sure he has. I don’t need a stranger hovering over me.” She then stormed into the adjoining room, shutting and locking the door behind her. Dr.Reid attempted to chase after her, finding the door locked from the inside and calling out to her. 

“Mom, please just meet her! You’ve chased off every other nurse from the agency!” he got no reply, and solemnly turned back towards you. He was exhausted, dark circles under his eyes and he looked utterly dejected. 

“I’m sorry to waste your time, I understand if you’d like to leave.”

“I’ll stay, unless you’d like me to leave.” confusion and hope clouded his expression, you weren’t giving up that easy.

“That was just a first meeting, I get that she doesn’t want me in her space, but she might warm up to me. Plus, one of the best ways for me to get to know her right now is through you.”

“Oh my god, thank you so much. Today is one of her worse days, she’s not usually like this I swear.” He looked elated at the fact you didn’t leave so you knew you were getting the job. He just needed the help too much, and you were determined to get this woman to like you. From what Dr.Reid had already told you over the phone, she seemed like a wonderful woman you’d actually really like to know. She just had to not hate you first. 

“It’s ok, just a bad day. I totally understand she’s upset. Why don’t you and I talk until she comes out?”

“Yes, here have a seat, and I’ll grab you some water.” He hurriedly cleared some books off the couch so you could sit, disappearing into the kitchen and returning with a glass of water a few moments later. While he was gone you pulled your work notebook and some pens out so you could take some notes. 

“Thank you Dr. Reid, that’s really sweet.”

“Of course, and you can call me Spencer.” 

“Alright, really quick just like my experience and such, I’m sure the agency told you most of it. I’m a little new to being a live-in caretaker, but I have experience at a couple assisted living facilities. I’ve taken care of a few family members with schizophrenia as well as alzheimers so I have experience with that as well. I’m a graduate student so I’ll work on some classwork during times when your mother is resting but it’s all online so it shouldn’t interfere with anything.”

He nodded along patiently as you basically read him your resume, and then responded in kind. “That all sounds great, I travel as part of my work so I may be gone for a few days to a week at a time, but it should never be for too long, and as this is a live-in position I’ll leave a card you can use for anything you or my mother need while I’m gone.” 

“That’s very kind, thank you. So, could you run me through a regular day for your mother? Just all of it, the activities she likes, medications, food times, all that good stuff so I can be prepared, and not change her routine too much.” You bounced back and grabbed a pen to start taking notes to help you remember all of the information. 

“Absolutely, yeah. Does this mean that you’ll take the job?” He looked so full of hope at the sentiment.

“If you’re offering, then yes I’d love to. I can start whenever you’re ready.” He lit up and pulled you into a hug you were not at all prepared for. He smelled really good, which was only made more noticeable by the sharp inhale you took in surprise of the gesture.

“Oh. Hi.” You couldn’t think of anything else to say during the hug to cut the tension you were feeling. He clearly took this as discomfort and pulled away. 

“Sorry, I jus- Thank you. That is amazing, thank you so much.”

“Of course, I really need to thank you for the opportunity. I look forward to getting to know your mom.”

You talked about different logistics, as well as him giving you a short tour of the house before you had to leave, before Diana would re-emerge. You started the next day, with Spencer there to start to ease the transition in the morning. After he left you and Diana, confident that she was having a good day, he headed for work. 

Diana did not have a good day after getting some rest after lunch. She needed to take one more medication, but when she woke up, she didn’t remember you. At least not as you the person her son hired to take care of you, she thought that you were using her son to get information on her. She thought you were there to manipulate the both of them, so when you offered her medication she wouldn’t take it. 

You did all you could do, you waited. And then after a short window had passed you gave her a drink with her medication in it, which after she drank, she realized it was the medication. She called you a fascist, and then unfortunately, slapped you. This wasn’t the first time a confused elderly person had gotten physical with you, so you attempted to keep your professionalism in tact. She ran to the bedroom, and you sat against the wall, reading to her from a collection of poetry Spencer said she loved. 

When you went to check on her and she was safely asleep, you continued cleaning the mess from the previous day. A small flood spread through the apartment, damaging several books and leaving towels littered around the room after Spencer had collapsed from exhaustion about the time you finished unpacking for the night. Spencer came home about the same time, to towels freshly in the wash, and you attempting to start repairing the books. You had a friend who was a librarian, and between a phone call with her and extensive research on the internet you’d made some progress. Books were spread out around you, in various states of drying and re-drying. You only noticed when you heard the door shut that he had come home, not hearing the key turn in the lock like you thought you would. 

“Hi.”

“Hi, uh-what are you doing?” He was carrying a leather satchel that he was now setting on his desk, and he shoved his hands in his pockets. His brow cocked in confusion as he looked at you.

“Oh, I noticed the books that got damaged, and your mother is still resting so I thought I’d get started on the drying process. I promise I asked my friend, she’s a librarian so that I wouldn’t make it worse.”

“Wow, that is really sweet, thank you Y/N. I really appreciate it.” He was walking closer to where you were sitting on the floor in the living room, carefully avoiding the spread-out books. 

“How’s mom doing? Did the rest of the day go alright?” He turned on the lamp by the couch, before moving a few of the books to sit. You had just started talking about his mother’s day, when his expression completely changed. He noticed the small mark on your face, and sprang off the couch, moving to the floor near you. 

“What happened?” You didn’t realize what he was talking about immediately, looking down to see if something was wrong you hadn’t noticed. When he gestured toward his own cheek, you remembered. 

“Oh yeah, Diana woke up from her nap after lunch and she got a little confused. She thought I was someone else, and that I was trying to get information about her. She slapped me, but it’s really no big deal. She just got confused is all. 

“No. No, that most certainly is a big deal.” He said it firmly, like there was no room for argument. But you jumped to yours, and his mothers, defense. 

“It’s really not. It’s common when alzheimers or dementia patients wake up not knowing where they are. She didn’t mean anything by it, I read to her, through the door, that poetry collection you mentioned yesterday. I think she liked it, and she felt better after she took her meds, she at least got some more rest.”

“That’s great- but I don’t want you to feel trapped here. If something isn’t alright, you can tell me, and I would understand if you wanted to leave.” You nodded to let him know you understood, and then followed it up with leaning back against the front of the couch and a small smile.

“You know if I didn’t know any better I’d think you were trying to get rid of me.” Your attempt to lighten the mood was not really helping. 

“No!-Believe me, that is not what I was saying. I really appreciate you helping my mom and I out, but I just want you to be here because you want to be.” 

“Well thank you, Spencer. But it’s really ok. It doesn’t even hurt, I promise.” You made a small cross-your-heart motion to convey the truth of your sentiment. 

Now, why don’t you help me with these books, while I switch out laundry.” you pat him on the shoulder as you walked by. The first time the two of you had touched since the hug he thought had made you uncomfortable. His sweater was soft under your skin, his shoulders firm. But you kept walking, you were on the clock after all.

When you walked back you started gathering the restored books to put back, and tried to get back to work related conversation, or at least tangentially related to work. “Alright, towels are in the dryer, and I’m sorry I can’t quite figure out what your system is for these books. Could you point me in the direction of where these go?” You gestured to the small stack in your arms, and he immediately got up. 

“It’s a combination of the dewey decimal system, and a little bit moved around based on sentimentality, I can put these away. Thank you again for helping me dry them. I know it’s not really in your job description.” Ok has no one helped this man? He is very over appreciative of the little things, and he looks like he’s scared you’ll run away any second. It’s sweet, but my god. 

“I like to be helpful, and there was also a little selfish motivation. I was curious about your taste in books. I mean you have so many, I had to be a little nosey.” You kind of attempted to add a flirtatious tone, but you were still hoping this crush would go away. This was a job, and it would be nice if you didn’t get overly attached to him. Although it was a little late for that. 

“I don’t know if i’d call it nosey, it’s nice that you’re curious. What did you think?” He was looking between you and the floor, while blushing. Maybe he liked you too. Wouldn’t that be nice. 

“I mean I’m no profiler, but I can take a guess.” He had told you about his job and what it entailed as it required him to be gone for long periods of time. So you kept the flirty undertone, somewhat under the guise of silliness, as you two moved closer together, whether consciously or otherwise. 

“I think you read A LOT. Like more than I probably could in a lifetime, and since I know you don’t exactly have excesses of freetime, you have incredible reading comprehension. Speed reader maybe? And some were in a few different languages, so maybe a linguistics major in college? Could be your doctorate. Also the style of the books is contributing to the apartment both functionally and as a decoration. They’re as much comfort objects as they are entertainment. So if I had to guess, you were a shy kid who read a lot.”

“Alright, not bad at all. Although my doctorates are in mathematics, engineering, and chemistry. The languages are easier because I have an eidetic memory. I am a speed reader, as our subconscious minds can process significantly more than our conscious minds.” There was one part consciously left out. He couldn’t have forgotten, he told you so himself. But you couldn’t resist, you wanted to know him. More than accomplishments and accolades.

“And the last part?” He looked upset, and you regretted asking it. It must have really bothered him, really been over the line.

“Yes, I was a big reader as a kid. I was a prodigy so making friends wasn’t easy, and I’m sure you noticed I’m kind of- well- odd.” odd? I mean interesting, or extraordinary sure, but odd wasn’t the word you’d use. It felt so…negative.

“I don’t think you’re odd. The prodigy aspect makes sense though, especially since I know you have 3 doctorates instead of the 1 I assumed you had. Also, if it makes you feel any better I’m kind of speaking from experience. I had more books than friends when I was little too.” You were sharing a small smile as you stood near the wooden shelves, until you heard the bedroom door open, and you stepped away from each other, gaining back the space you lost. 

“Hi Diana, did you sleep ok? Is there anything I can get you?” She gently shook her head, confused, but piecing it together as she woke up. 

“No, thank you. Spencer, who's your friend? Is she- is she your girlfriend?” She spoke in a hushed tone for the last part, like it was a fun secret between the 3 of you.” He looked like an embarrassed teenager, as he turned toward his mother. 

“No, mom. This is Y/N, she’s taking care of you, you guys spent the day together?” She started to understand, but kept giving Spencer a look like she didn’t quite believe him. 

After you cooked dinner, something Spencer also tried to convince you wasn’t necessary. Seems like he wasn’t used to being taken care of. You cleaned the kitchen, giving Spencer some time with his mom before you all resigned to bed. You didn’t cross paths again for a few days, with Spencer leaving before dawn for a case. 

When he returned a few days later, after many call and text updates on his mothers condition (that occasionally strayed to more personal topics of your life, but you wrote it off as him being polite)  he found you and his mom sitting on the couch, like the best of friends flipping through her scrapbook as she told you stories from Spencer's childhood. It was a good exercise to keep her mind sharp, as well as helping her feel more comfortable with you. 

“Hi Spencer, how was work?” He looked confused, and he was moving cautiously like he didn’t want to disturb the fleeting moment of happiness. His mother was happy, and the woman he had an ill-advised crush on were spending time together. In his home. It was perfect.

“It was good, it looks like you two had a good day?” His mother nodded her approval, and gestured for him to sit down.

“We did. Your mother read me some of her favorite books. And I didn’t know you could do magic! We were just looking through her wonderful scrapbook.” You directed the last part to Diana, wanting her to know how much you appreciated her trust. Spencer had the same embarrassed teenager look he did the previous day. 

“I’m glad you’re home Spencer, but it is late and I’m going to go get some rest.” His mother got up from the couch, and gave him a hug goodnight. Once she had disappeared back into the bedroom, you turned your attention back to Spencer. 

“There’s a plate for you in the fridge if you’re hungry by the way.” He still looked surprised, like he couldn’t believe you’d cook for him when he wasn’t even home. 

“Thank you, I have to finish a little bit more paperwork, but that sounds wonderful.” 

“It’s really no problem, I hope you like it. But before you start your paperwork, I’d like to request a magic trick.” He seemed perpetually confused. And he was. He couldn’t believe you, so happy, so sweet, and so kind. You wanted to see his dorky magic tricks and fix his books and talk to his mom. He knew you were being paid, but it wasn’t that much. Not enough for most people to go this far above and beyond. This was all you.

“You really want to see my magic?” 

“Yeah, I’ve never seen a magic trick in person, that’s really cool. And it’s a little easier to practice inside than the trapeze.” You both laughed, and his blush grew even deeper. He grabbed a set of cards from a prized spot on his bookshelf, part of the very small space not crowded with actual books.

He offered the cards, fanned out to you and asked you to pick one. You picked the ace of hearts. 

He pulled the 2 of diamonds, looking confident for maybe the first time since you met him. “Is this your card?” A part of you really wanted to lie. He looked so happy, but you just muttered a quiet no. He tried again, looking confused as to how he got it wrong the first time. This time he pulled the 6 of clubs 

“Is this your card?” You shook your head and he flipped through the deck, cards still facing down. Looking through as if something was missing, his brow furrowing as he did. You could see the moment realization struck, it was as if a cartoon lightbulb appeared over his head.

He leaned toward you and your breath hitched. Once your faces were so close you could’ve leaned forward and made contact, he pulled the correct card from your hair. And when he held it up for you, he smiled when you lit up. 

“Is this your card?” He spoke a lot quieter now, and he moved the little bit of hair that had fallen into your face during the trick back over your shoulder. When you thought you’d explode if he stayed this close without moving any closer, he did. His stubble grazed your face as he connected your lips. His were a little bit chapped, but they still felt soft the way he moved them. He sighed when he pulled away and you were worried you did something wrong. 

“I shouldn’t have done that. I’m so-so sorry.” 

“Why? I mean I know why the situation isn’t ideal, but why are you sorry?”

“Because you are currently relying on me not only for employment but for a place to stay, and I shouldn’t have just put that pressure on you. I lost control, and I’m so sorry. I understand if I made you uncomfortable.” He sat back down on the couch, but this time you followed him. You really liked him, even though you’d only known him a couple of days. 

“You didn’t make me uncomfortable. I don’t feel pressured, and I didn’t kiss you back because I’m currently staying in your house. I kissed you back because I wanted to, I’ve been wanting to kiss you since you hugged me when I accepted the job.” He finally looked back at you, with those big brown puppy dog eyes, and you grabbed his hand. 

“Really? Are you sure you want that?” 

“Certain. Spencer, I really like you. And if you like me too, then we can talk about how that would work logistically. We could figure something out. If you don’t want that or don’t feel the same way, we can forget about this. We never have to talk about it again, and we can just keep it professional.”

“No!” He rushed out, his voice cracking a little. He cleared his throat, straightened his posture and started again. “I don’t want that, I do like you too. And I definitely want to figure this out.” You squeezed his hand and smiled. He liked you too. It felt so high school, but that made you want to either squeal with joy, or tackle him onto the couch. 

You settled on a cool neither, instead giving him a kiss on the nose as you got up from the couch. And he watched you, hesitantly letting your hand go, like he thought you said all that just to leave. 

“We are definitely having that conversation…tomorrow. You haven’t eaten and, cute as you may be, you look like you  haven’t slept in days. So we will finish this tomorrow, whenever you’re ready.” You pulled his plate from the fridge, placing it in the microwave so that he could eat something. He looked at you like you were the sun, the moon, and the stars. 

“You think I’m cute?” 

“Yes Dr. Hot stuff, I think you’re cute. I thought we just went over this?” He blushed even more at the doctor comment. You looked at each other until the timer snapped you out of it. You set the plate on the table and wished him a goodnight, as you moved to the guest bedroom. You couldn’t sleep, you were so excited. But you wanted him to be in the best possible headspace, this was a big decision. 

When Spencer finished his dinner and his paperwork he moved to the master bedroom, still buzzing with excitement. When he closed the door his mother stirred. She spoke quietly, still half asleep. 

“Spencer, you really should take Y/N out. I think she has a little crush on you. And you deserve someone who can take care of you.” Then she drifted back to sleep, but Spencer was still beaming. 

[enmmyheavenscg]

MY SITUATION .

hello everyone ! if you’re aware, you know im currently back from my break!

But my situation hasn’t gotten any better.

TW FOR ATTEMPTED SUI, MURDER MENTIONS, ABUSE - just my parents being horrible . Invasion of privacy

I don even know how to tag this properly.

Today on tuesday, July 30th 2024, 3:42 am as I am writing this.

My mental (and physical) health has worsened since everything had happend, My parents have been making me feel genuinely worst

I just happened to be in a call with a friend before oh- the first time, my parents came in and yelled at me.. my mother raised her hands up a bit, yes but. She usually does that so usually I am not affected by it but today was just. horrible.

After the first couple times they did this, they turned the wifi completely off, I was still In a call with said friend but I was muted. My parents were being absolutely horrible.

I would go detail by detail. syaing hooe the whole wrugement started but No, only thing I’ll be saying is.

My mother went absolutely ballistic and was trying to open my locked door. (Which I Have video of) she kept hurting md, threw something at me and just absolutely started screaming at me , she jus wnt crzy

My father laid his hands on me for the first time today aswell, it was a truly horrifying experience. I’ve always preferred my father over my mother yet - today trigged something inside my brain ? Made me genuinely hate him - myself , everyone around me. My younger brother was sleeping , yet we were fighting in his room .

The argument affected me, it was only an hour ago? .. couple minutes . im

not sure . It all went so fast my brain jusut ii

They kept tyryung to corneer mme and my mom trid to hold me in pllce , not allowing me to leave / get into Myy riom

I had to forcefully do so

I don’t even know what happened . Today started off so good yet endlu horriblly .

I tried

I tried to end it all after that conversation. I was messaing that said friend before, begging them to call help, crying . I’ve never felt more scared, weaker . Horrified . I tried choking myyosg and I still can’t breatffwi

im tryiy not sure how im writiing this but im doing it . I really hope I get my wifi back to be able to send this (if I do then that means I did)

I trid casling emergency servieces, I didn have service - no wifi, nothing. I ws basically stranded , in panic moddee

I wssso lightheaded, dizt and honestly felt like I eas dying (I stsuol am bu am doiing bettr(

I

I would’ve died if I kept chokiif myslf with it a bit longer

They were gona kill me though. They . Thhy said os

My mom sid my dad woul beat mme until I was dead and unconscious - my ddad sid he din lov me tdoy

My dad sid god woul mak that happen when I said I’d die

My mom threatened to murder me tdosy (twice or once) she was holding sormyuing when I ws forced to opn my door . I can’t rmebr but it was a utensil . N ths all I rembr . Was it a knife? No clie. was it something else ? no clu

Theve alwys been horubel but this was jut icing on cak . I just need to get mor evidence on wht tehy did . Then I havs my proof . (I mite attach wht my mom did to my lock . I rmeber . 4? 3? Years ago she brok it .

And now it’s even more borkn. It may not look like it but it is. N sometiije thi year she brok mmy doorhsndle. Iiz awful here

I truly wanna leave but I hav no choice)

im

I’m just so scard, I’m mortified geniunlly

photdo down here + vudeo if I can (took the screenshot at 03:51 so ths why it says tagt) plus one I jus took .

sory I knowthuu iz all too much but I’m so

So

done here. . I add more on as I can try and remember beter . I don’t feel like myself currently so it’s quite hard to remember stif that . Doesn’t but also does feel like me

(ddin add all images.)

Poease . If you rpost thji pls do . I need to get outta herre soon enough

If you wanna talk to me- @ahaclownnoises is my main / my discord

[writings-ofthe-heart]

(Mizu, BES)/(Reader)

- prompt: "Always give them the first bite of food."

Cw: None

Info: Reader is fem sorry, may be ooc, i tried. I love my woman so much this is self indulgent and motivated by my day one <3

Mizu walked. Like always, being followed by Ringo and his sister. You were quiet, but agreeable. Mizu only allowed you to follow because Ringo didn't want to leave you alone with your father. The sky weaned and the sun began to fall. Purple and black scattered to the East. Nightfall would arrive soon, Mizu thought absently. Her body ws always tense, ready to pounce on enemies, but her mind? Tranquile. Calm, it seemed like the soft, unmoving ocean.

You were only taken in by Ringo after being left on the noodleshops doorsteps. A cliche backstory, but what could you do? Growing up with Ringo was the best outcome of your childhood. Because of him, you had a certain joy within your aura. Despite the lack of speaking, socializing you did normally, you had good spirit. You were good.

The group set up camp. A fire was lit, courtesy of Ringo and you just looked around for sticks. A silence spread throughout the wintery forest. Mizu sliced the air, releasing an audible sound of her precision. You had stumbled across her, coming face to face when she cut down a tree with ease. You yelped.

"What are you doing here?" She grumbled. You shrugged, softly quipping, "Collecting sticks. What do you want to eat tonight?"

Mizu wondered why you even asked, "..." She rolled her shoulders, narrowing icy eyes behind her lens at you. "Anything is fine."

"Well, okay." You turned to walk away.

An hour after, you were all sitting around the fire as the pot simmered. You stood, grabbing small wooden bowls and scooping the soup into it. There were only two so you gave Ringo one and was about to hand the second bowl to Mizu when her hand stopped it.

"Drink some first. I can eat when you're done."

Confused as you were, you nodded slowly and sipped it. After half the soup was gone you refilled and slid it to Mizu who had dozen off, or at least that's what it looked like. She ate, and eventually you and Ringo fell asleep.

But this didn't just happen once. Another trip to Mihonoseki proved to be a habit of hers.

She broke a rice cake piece before even touching it and shoved it in your hand. Walking idly, you were startled and paused looking down at the crumbled, small piece of dry rice cake. Immediately you swallowed it, to be frank you weren't even hungry but, oh well.

Ringo knew something was weird with Mizu and his sister. First, he didn't pay mind because Mizu is just... odd in general. Not until the third instance where, Mizu not only offered, but refused to eat until you had taken a piece or a bite, did he start thinking more about it. His sister was pretty, he didn't try to disagree but you were oblivious to say the least, unable to see what's in front of you.

Mizu calmly set her chopsticks down. "Try it, I'm sure it's good but I can't risk being poisoned."

Another silly excuse, Ringo rolled his eyes digging into his own bowl of soba noodles. You sighed, dragging Mizu's bowl in front of you and slurping one, exactly one noodle.

"Tastes good to me, now eat! It's almost closed." You tried to hurry her. She seemed unfazed as now and only now Mizu began to eat the soba.

Ringo made an excuse to pull you outside while Mizu finished, (it was incredibly obvious and clumsy.)

"Hey. You must have noticed something weird with Mizu now right?" He holds you by your shoulders.

You purse your lips, "Um..? No.. If you mean her in general, well, I think that's just how she is."

Ringo exhales harshly. The cold wind making itself known in your ears. "No, her habit. Habit of making you eat her food first? Making sure "it tastes good?" Habit of randomly offering you her very first bite? Anything ring bells in your little head?" He grew more frustrated, practically shaking you.

You held up your hands, admitting defeat. "I thought it was just me!"

"You know, it seems oddly intimate for a person like Mizu." He noted. "You don't think..." Ringo gasped, loudly. Mizu appeared outside, her sword clinked as she looked around wildly for danger.

She furrowed her brows at you both, "Excuse me." Mizu walked back into the noodle shop.

"Mizu likes you." Ringo breathlessly, excitedly, exclaimed.

"What?!"

[darkwaveho]

Vampire Nat sneak peek👀

Novacane Au

This is actually way past a sneak peek but fuck it we ball! 😜

You stumbled through the dense undergrowth, your breath ragged and shallow. The night air was thick with scent of damp earth and desperation. Each step you took sent pain shooting through your bruised body, a harsh reminder of the beating you had endured. your face swollen, bloodied and your clothes are grimy beyond repair of cleaning it. Your poor life choices have turned into a nightmare that's left you running for your life. Your only hope is to find somewhere to hide just until your body decides to cooperate with you.

As you stumble through a dirt road, the moonlight barely covered the canopy of trees above you, you don't know where you're going but you follow the eerie casts of shadows along the path. Your vision was blurring, and off and on again feeling. Your strength was weary. You felt like you were on the brink of collapsing, you got to keep moving you hear the faint voices, you don't know if they're in your head or if they were actually on your tails. a small glimmer of light through the thick darkness of trees. An old manor, the exterior majestic yet cold and dark in the distance. you don't have time to be picky, this would have to do until the morning, if you even make it. With the last of your strength, you force yourself towards the manor. This is your glimmer of hope, if you could just reach it, maybe, just maybe, you could find safety. The building is old and imposing, the stones weathered over time. would anyone still be living here? there is no sight of a vehicle or any signs of life that would possibly live in this manor but that doesn't deter you from going forward.

You reach the front steps of the manor, the cold stone against our bare foot sends a shiver through your body. your hand trembles as you raise it to knock on the massive ornate door. The effort was too much, and as your knuckles tapped against the wood, your vision darkened. Your legs gave out and you collapsed onto the pavement, unconscious.

Wanda’s keen ears picked up the sound, and she felt the need to investigate. Curiosity peaked by the rare occurrence of someone stupid enough to even travel this deep into the darkness. As she opened the door, the sight before her ws jarring. An unconscious being on the doorstep, body battered, and bruised. Wanda’s heart went to the unknown person. Without hesitation, she gently lifted you and brought you inside the manor. Her intent was to lay you on the lounge chair in the corner of the room, however those plans were cut short when she’s faced with an angry redhead. “Anya.” Wanda cannot hide her expression of surprise. She knows this is wrong, she knows there will be consequences but yet, she still can't find it in her heart to ignore the sight in front of her, the need and desperation of your lifeless being. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“I-” Anya doesn’t let her finish her sentence. Anya circles around your body barely glancing at you as all of her attention and hostility is aimed at Wanda right now. “It was obviously rhetorical Wands. That is already drained, what use is it to any of us? I’m not really fond of food someone else has played with already and neither is she.” 

“Anya is right, you need to dispose of it.” Maria appears making her distaste known for the choice she just made, this isn't the first time she’s been teased or taunted for helping a human. Nursing them back to health. Wanda has a need to do good. She yearns for it after a lifetime and her past of being corrupt. She still hasn't fully recovered from it, still waking up in cold sweats at night on the rare occasion when she is able to get some sleep. Wanda stands her ground, she's not budging on this, she can't, she won't allow herself to simply let you die without at least trying to save your life. She has to try. It's in her heart, in her nature to maintain life.

“Save your ignorance for a second, she’s beaten.” Wanda seethes as she tries to assess your wounds. Anya rolls her eyes and shares a look with Maria. The two of them would rarely be on the same accord but tonight just so happens to be the night where they team up against you.  “She will not like this Wanda, it’s best to dispose of it and put it out of its misery. It’ll be dead in less than an hour tops.” Maria attempts to soften her response this time. Unlike Anya Maria does have a small soft spot for Wanda. She’s not a bitch 24 hours of the day to everyone else.

The sound of heels clicking on the floor can barely be heard from your end, everything is muffled as if you were under water. Your body is on fire, your mouth is numbing, no feeling of your own blood leaking from your mouth as you lay frozen against the cold marble floors. Your one good eye is still no use as your vision is blurred. You don’t get a good look at anything or anyone. You only see the color of black surfacing from the shadows within this room and a spec of auburn red. The loud clicks of high heels do nothing but create more tension in your brain. You close your eyes in hopes of it going away, in hopes of your body miraculously healing faster.

Meanwhile, as Natasha steps further into the room. The loud smell of iron, the damp smell of wet rain and dirt covered your entire body, she could smell you all the way from her study upstairs. Natasha looks at each person in the room with her, but she hasn’t looked directly at you, just your body. She shares a look of disgust and disdain, a million different scenarios of punishments run through her mind. Maybe, having the entire coven scrub her floors until she deemed them spotless again after seeing them in the state it's in currently. After an awkward moment of silence Natasha finally acknowledges what’s in front of her. “Is there a reason why there is a human dirtying my floors right now?”

[samodivaa]

smut - ⁂ ︳angst - ☢ ︳fluff - ☀

✭Asset!Reader x Winter Soldier/Bucky

Thrill me, Fulfill me ⁂ . ☀

You agreed to help for one mission—now you are both lustful and carnal, affected by sex pollen—you are flint, he is tinder.

Words don’t trigger him, emotions do ⁂ . ☢ . ☀

Anger, resentment and especially, jealousy—those emotions were all he knew while you both spent decades at Hydra.

Your mission ⁂ . ☢

Written by - mrsbuckybarnes1917 You're a HYDRA asset tasked with tracking down and recovering a lost soldier: Bucky Barnes. Story takes place between CA: WS and CA: CW.

My snowflake ⁂

You just returned from a mission—you provoke him, but the tension flicks from anger to fevered desire.

✭Reader x Winter Soldier

Training Techniques ☢ . ⁂

He is not allowed to move an inch—he can only watch you pleasure yourself—but why is there a ring on your finger?

Soul-debasing Interrogation ⁂

Both his mentality and body can withstand anything—to err is...human—you are the human in this situation.

Winter Soldier x Nurse!Reader ⁂ . ☢

Regular sex health checks are important

✭Series Deny the truth,set my world on fire ☢ . ⁂

He knew that she was having an affair...she denies, but the love marks on her body are still there. She can't tell him the truth, it will break him - the Winter Soldier is indeed inside of him, fucking her at night and Bucky doesn't remember. (Complete)

✭Ex-Asset!Reader x Bucky Barnes (drabble) Mind Corruption ☢

Zemo can't help it - entrapping y/n's mind in the notion that she will never be free of her programming, the urge to kill is still very present in her life.Protective!Bucky

The relationship between Humor and Trauma ☀

Making fun of Bucky for not remembering who he had killed as the Winter Soldier is always entertaining.

[damnstrawhats]

Something that I think about a lot is how like internally tempestuous experiencing the kindness of the Straw Hats must’ve been for Robin prior to the WS Saga, and how much that plays into just how resonant her big moment is.

Like, Robin is a character who has never had a stable foundation. Ever. Olvia clearly loved Robin wholeheartedly, but still had a duty in terms of her field, yes, but honestly also ethically speaking, that required her to leave.* Her guardians were cruel & uncaring. The townspeople considered her monstrous, deplorable, less than human. The librarians cared for her, but ultimately she is still an outsider looking in. She loses Saul & any stability he gave her dies with him to her. & then it is self-serving organization after self-serving organization, all of which she knows will discard her if it will further their goals.

At that point, she’s never been able to trust that any care presented to her will last or be upheld. She’s never been able to trust that it has been well & truly meant.

Then, enter the Straw Hats, who do mean it. Who offer her drinks, request to shop with her or browse for books for the fun of it, who explain to her that they’re going to celebrate together irregardless of whether it’s tactical because they’re together & adventuring & isn’t that a wonder? Who laugh, hug, compliment, & care openly. And they’re acting like they want to include her? To protect her, even?

Like there had to be that odd dissonance between existing in the moment, of understanding & appreciating the kindness, while also dealing with the constant question of its truthfulness. Of seeing &, on some level, knowing it to be care, but only being able to emotionally understand it as a lack of outright hostility.

But, even then, it’s enough for her to sacrifice her life for! When she has just been given a new way to further her dream in Skypeia! & in return the Straw Hats declare war on the entire fucking world government for her. They scream at her that she’s allowed to struggle, and not believe them, and argue, and lie- but she has to do it while she’s with them, because she’s a part of them- they’re her place now.

And it hits her like a truck, and turns her world upside down because of course it does. She had never had that in her entire life! And she can’t help but trust it because the magnitude of the evidence won’t allow her not to, so she feels it in full & just- at the top of her lungs, screaming herself hoarse…

“I want to live! Take me out to sea with you!”

Oh dear lord, what if I coughed up blood about it?

*I also want to note the way this subtly plays into Luffy & Robin being amongst my favourite dynamics. Luffy expressly doesn’t want to be a hero because it requires sacrifice, & Robin is a character who has witnessed both the result of heroic sacrifice being “death” (Saul), & what it is like to be what is given up for a cause (Olvia + the librarians). The fact that it is the Straw Hats who ground her, who accept her, who would sacrifice the world for her the way she would for them- the fact that they love in a way she knows prioritizes her, makes her finally trusting the group in EL hit all that much harder. & Luffy, another character who struggled deeply with the imposition of loneliness as a result of being left, ultimately is the person who emblematizes that for Robin. And like it makes how much faith Robin puts in Luffy in spite of their age difference feel more plausible. He is the singular person Robin has ever come across who will fight for the thing she has always lacked until he physically cannot move.

ps. yes, all of this is also a reason i’m sad robin & ace never met. they never shared a scene together & yet they are constantly thematically holding hands, while having contrasting positions when it comes to our favourite goofball. eiichiro oda you madman.

[valentinedaughtler]

Tainted Opal-

Kaz Brekker x fem!reader

PART 1

A/N: This is a series I have posted on a few other platforms.

T/Ws: violence, romantic feelings, blood, mild spice scenes sometimes, fem!reader and she/her pronouns, sexual abuse/trauma (not explicit)

Synopsis: You are a a seductress who owns a large stolen jewelry business in Ketterdam. You approach Kaz for assistance after your business partner steals all of your money and your poison ring.

REQUESTS: OPEN✅

____________________________________________

1 - A ‘tell’ in poker

I found myself not being cornered, but on the opposite end of such a relationship.

The dark alleys of Ketterdam are for the faint of heart to be victim, but I had played that role too many times to repeat such. Instead, the Bastard of the Barrel stood before me, scrappier and more daunting than I had expected. Though, all I had to go off of were the blackened whispers of Ketterdam's constant voices.

As usual, I observed my surroundings, the alleyway in which I stand in became a map in my mind.

The silence was thicker than the fog of the docks, fear was beginning to pool like bile in my throat. Maybe this was a mistake.

"My apologies for cornering you in an alley, Mr. Brekker," my voice melted the silence like hot honey. Years of practice in my field allowed for faking demeanors to be easy. "I want to offer you a job," I cock my eyebrow slightly and saunter my way towards him.

He had a piercing stare stabbing my insides and twisting my flesh in odd ways. Showing weakness is an option that leads to downfall, I remind myself when I notice my faltering confidence.

"What job are you proposing?" He asks tersely. Tapping his cane between us, an invisible boundary being made. I cleared my throat, "one week ago, to the dot I might add, my partner went missing," I explained. "My business

partner, Arx Dam-Tres, and his wife were spotted at the nearby port, boarding a privately owned boat. Along with his dear darling, Rasmine, he took our shared wealth and my most prized ring-"

"What makes this ring so important? You're obviously willing to risk your life cornering me in an alley to retrieve it." He interrupts me. I peer at the many hiding spaces the dark night offers Ketterdam's voices. I've been told of Kaz's crow, Inej, I assume she wields her knife atop a building above me. The barrel of a gun glints in the moonlight. It comes from a window on the right, barely noticeable, but the one holding the trigger was slightly sloppy in their hiding.

"I'm aware that I have multiple threats to my flesh at all sides at the moment, so I'll get to the point. I'll pay 1 million kruge... upfront," I propose, smirking. Kaz shows the slightest hint of interest, I note that when he is intrigued, he right eyebrow raises and his lip twitches. 'A tell in poker' they call it. While dollar signs replace the pupils of Kaz's eyes, his lips part once more.

"For a price like that, this must be dangeruous. What makes this ring so special?" he rasps. His voice is rough, like coffee grounds thrown into a fire, adorned with an accent. The ignition of such flames sparked something inside me, but I ignore it promptly.

"Well, the ring was created by a fabricator and a shadow summoner," my eyes fall to one of my fingers where the ring should be. "The gold is valuable, but the real worth is on the opal stone hugged by said gold. It is infused with merzoft," I continue, noticing a slight flinch in Kaz when I state such. It's so difficult to tell what he is thinking, but I'm well known for my keen eye. "When the desire strikes me, it will poison those who kiss my ringed hand. I'm a seductress, it comes in handy." I let out a soft, sweet laugh. "My company is owned jointly between Arx and I, a luxury jewelry company of sorts... my products must come from somewhere," I say, shrugging at my implication.

"Why would Arx take the ring?"

"He knew the value, I assume, or Rasmine begged for it-..." my eyes widened as the realization fabricated its of in my mind, my faux demeanor cracking. "He's sailing to Ravka..., he boarded a ship with his wife and millions of kruge," I piece the puzzle together in a mess of words. "He is going to the Darkling, in hopes to learn he properties of the ring.... He won't stop there, Arx is going to make weaponry this way." A growing horror sprouts up in my stomach and wraps itself around my intestines like thorny vines. My panicked voice squeaks out, "I will pay you now, come with me, and we must leave tomorrow morning, I have a boat prepared. We need a crew-"

My frantic string of a tangent is snipped by Kaz's husky voice, "I haven't agreed to this yet." I notice he is getting the upper hand as my confidence is peeling like wallpaper. I calm my nerves, melding my personality back into what it was before.

"Arx had a good connection with your dear friend Pekka...," I cooed, regaining my former composure. His pupils dilate, the wall he built as a shield crumbles, but only for a split second. "You can finally get your revenge, little crow," I break the boundary he made with his cane, moving closer to him. "1 million kruge, a boat, and revenge," I whisper, "sounds like a fantastic reward."

Kaz walks backwards fluidly, his lanky body shrinking away from me. His jaw clenches as he grips his cane tighter. His knuckles must have turned white under those gloves.

"You bring all the kruge in cash here at midnight...,"

I smiled at a turned away, disappearing into the night, my heartbeat meshing with the countless others taking up borrowed space in the darkness of Ketterdam.

_________________

Word count: 919

_________________

Thank you everyone for reading, first chapters are frustrating to write due to their need for a hook, but also a yearn for explanation. It'll get better from here.

-Valentine

[nomaishuttle]

ughhh tmrws gonna be hell actually

[luvmyoui]

five - good?

previous masterlist next

gp!myoui mina x fem!reader

warnings: cursing, mentions of sex

word count: 1,443

a/n: SORRY FOR NOT POSTING IN A WHILE I WS WORKING ON PT2 FOR HER FAV AND IVE JS BEEN REALLY BUSY😞😞

“mina, you actually can’t keep doing this. not only are you sleeping around, but you're bringing these girls to our dorm. just imagine what could happen if it got out that you were sleeping around and that you had a dick.” nayeon said the moment mina stepped foot out of her room.

“okay, okay, this was the last time.” mina waved her off as she went to open the fridge

“you say that everytime, I'm serious about this. It has to stop.” nayeon said with a groan. 

“no more, got it.” mina said while taking out the leftovers that remained in the fridge. It was too early for her to say anything in disagreement. 

“i'm gonna hold you to this.” nayeon said with a pointed glare. 

mina hummed in response but the next thing that left nayeon's mouth made her freeze up. “I hope you were responsible enough to have taken precautions, having a child would ruin us.”

“w- what, o-of course i um i obviously wouldn't have any.” mina stuttered out. 

she didn't want it out anywhere that she had a kid, her whole career would be over if the news got out. nayeon sent her a questioning gaze wondering why she suddenly froze up. mina usually never froze up like this. mina didn't say anything to explain her sudden change of demeanor and simply walked back to her room. she could eat in there for today. 

she set the food down on her desk and sat down on her gaming chair. no matter how much mina had changed, her obsession with video games was something that never would. she opened minecraft and scrolled all the way down to her first few worlds. her cursor hovered over the one named ‘dream house w y/n’. 

reminiscing the time when she made it and showed you it with a smile spread across her face brought sadness to her. she missed you but she hated you. in her eyes she treated you amazing and still did. it wasn't like she had disappeared, she sent you money monthly and sometimes she would even send gifts. she thought that she was fulfilling her role as a parent pretty well. 

mina often thought of messaging you, asking for updates on isla. the hesitance would hit while her thumb was hovering over the send button. her ego not allowing her to talk to you after the way you had ended things. 

sixth harmony, the group that was formed after the time you spent on x factor. you had sadly lost on the show but it seemed like that was for the better. after being eliminated, simon cowell had signed you under his company saying that he saw the potential in all of you. simon taking the risk with you and the girls had only ended up paying off, your fame skyrocketing. 

your debut single miss movin’ on being a huge hit, your group name being known nationally. with time the fame of sixth harmony only grew and grew. though you had finally achieved your dream of becoming a famous singer it seemed as if the hole in your heart never filled. you thought that maybe doing this would make you feel better about all that had happened. (spoiler alert: it didn't!)

being a singer wasn't easy either, the paparazzi were insane. you couldn't leave your house with isla in fear that you being a mother would be leaked. It was much harder to spend time with your daughter with your busy schedule. you ended up having to tell your company that you had a daughter, so you could bring her to the studio.

seeing simon as someone you were close to you revealed the information to him and to say he was upset was an understatement. you being a teen mom changed everything, this could not get out. due to the fact that sixth harmony was very famous, you being one of the fan favorites, he could not do anything, they needed you. 

you honestly considered yourself lucky to have been gifted with such an amazing daughter. even when introduced to the new environment isla barely fussed. In fact she quickly started to look forward to going with you to places, being able to see her favorite aunt dinah. although having been with camila for more time she for some reason changed her favorite to dinah. you were ecstatic that your daughter both adored and was adored by your bandmates. 

it had now been 3 years since you debuted and two years since mina had left you. the thought left a bitter taste on your tongue, two years since she left you with a broken heart.

you stepped out of your apartment (which mina was still filling the rent for) to go down and check for mail. you were stopped at your door by a box though, you picked it up and brought it back into your room. you took the box to a kitchen and used a knife to cut through the tape, you checked the address and noticed it was from korea. you immediately knew who it was from.

Inside resided a thick white envelope on top of a sweatshirt. your eyes widened as you picked up the envelope, feeling how thick it was, filled with without a doubt hundred dollar bills. you didn't know why she continued to do this, you knew that she knew you were a singer. still, mina never failed to send a monthly allowance and gifts. 

after taking out the envelope you took out a sweatshirt, and once you unfolded it your jaw dropped. in a recent interview you had mentioned that your favorite expensive brand was prada. in your hands right now was a prada sweatshirt, one that you knew cost over a thousand dollars.

you made sure to use that sweatshirt to its full extent.

you were currently holding a small party at your home for isla, as it was her birthday. a ring at your door had caused you to momentarily put her in lauren’s lap as you went to answer it. standing there was a delivery man who was asking for your signature. you went to sign it, confused on what it could've been, you didnt remember ordering anything. 

the man asked if you wanted him to put the package inside as it was heavy and you kindly accepted. after he left, you got a knife to open the package, it was huge. It was almost the same height as isla. when you opened the package your eyes widened and you called isla over. 

“hey baby, you got a gift.” you softly said squatted down as she smushed her face into yours. 

at the mention of a present, she immediately pulled away and tried to peep into the box.

“weally?! whos it fwom?” isla questioned, not being able to pronounce her r’s correctly.

“It's from your other mom.” at the mention of her isla’s face dropped. 

“why cant mommy come and see me? why doesn't she wanna see me?” isla said her bottom lip wobbling. 

“baby, it’s not that she doesnt wanna see you, she's just really busy working. she has to work hard to provide for us, she misses you so much!” you said trying your best to make sure isla didn’t cry on her birthday. 

“c’mon, don't you wanna drive around this super cool car?” dinah intervened, sensing that isla would cry.

the girls had come over along with isla, and had seen the whole interaction. isla’s mood immediately went up at the mention of riding in the car. she ran over to dinah and reached her hands up, gesturing that she wanted to be picked up. dinah reached down and picked isla up, isla now finally getting a look at the present in full. it was a pink toy rzr 900.

although everyone's mood had been lifted heavily, camila’s stayed down. a frown etched onto her face. she understood that mina was still isla’s parent but you referring to her in a positive way didn't sit right with her. camila was there with you through everything mina had put you through, and camila hated mina. 

“mina what the fuck?!” nayeon shouted as she burst into mina’s room. 

startled by the noise, mina flinched hard and accidentally hit a piglin in minecraft.

“what the fuck?!” mina shouted in response, now being attacked by all of the piglins in her vicinity. 

“check your fucking phone.” nayeon said in a scarily calm voice.

mina obliged and the second she picked the device up her eyes widened. 

“fuck.” 

taglist: @moon-ellie @lisas-earlobe @cocojy @second-daughter-of-clexa @runassimp @eliii1sblog send an ask if you want to be added to the taglist!

[okkotsuus]

associated songs (jjk) !

features: yuuji i. megumi f. nobara k. yuuta o. maki z. toge i. satoru g. suguru g. toji f. kento n. sukuna r. choso k.

contents: manga spoilers. some fanon because not everything has been revealed yet. song headcanons. character analysis. angst. tw because jjk lore is fucked up. strong language. megumi, yuuta, gojo, and geto favoritism. sukuna's part is a lot of reaching because we know nothing about his backstory. 3.4k words.

yuuji itadori is working for the knife by mitski. this song shows yuuji's change in character during the shibuya arc, how nothing goes his way any longer and his will is worn thin again and again. "i cry at the start of every movie, i guess'cause i wish i was making things too" this shows yuuji's passion to make a life for himself, to make something that will last in this world beyond death, his grandfather's dying wish. "i always knew the world moves on, i just didn't know it would go without me" with this we can see yuuji's desperation to catch up to people like megumi and nobara but the world passes him by over and over again (ex. cursed womb, junpei). "i start the day high and it ends so low 'cause i'm working for the knife" yuuji goes into everything with hope and positivity but it often ends up with him losing something or feeling some sort of grief, his heart is broken over and over again by jujutsu. "i always thought the choice was mine, and i was right, but i just chose wrong" this resembles yuuji's choice to absorb sukuna, something he thought ws his descision and only something he could do. but when sukuna merges with megumi he is forced to consider whether he made the right choice and he acknowledges that he is not the only one who can do such. "i start the day lying and end with the truth, that i'm dying for the knife".

megumi fushiguro is who are you, really by mikky ekko. this song shows megumi's evolution as a character from a quiet boy to a true sorcerer (see: domain expansion discovery, shibuya). "so you feel entitled to a sense of control, and make decisions you think are your own" with this we can see megumi's attitude of superiority towards yuuji at the beginning of the series, and his general attitude towards his peers until his development. he feels that due to his long running experience and power, along with his intelligence, that these people are below him. "you are a stranger here, why have you come?" with this we can see megumi's hesitance to trust anybody, especially new people. this applies later in shibuya where he is unwilling to trust the incarnated toji (at the time, the correct decision), which ends up with his father recognizing him and killing himself to avoid hurting his son any longer. "who, who are you really? and where are you going?" megumi really has no sense of self for a decent chunk before shibuya, he is kind of just there. he has a personality but he does not have a reason for being like all of his peers do, he does not know who he is or what he wishes to do, he's just doing it to do it. "i have nothing left to prove, 'cause i have nothing left to lose, see me bear my teeth for you" in this we can encapsulate his development when he discovers chimera shadow garden. it's messy and last ditch, he has nothing left to lose and no one to prove himself to so he throws t all on a desperate attempt to try to create something truly for anf of himself, it's as messy as it is true. and it is what sets the path to allow megumi to define himself.

nobara kugisaki is primadonna by marina and the diamonds. this song shows nobara's materialistic nature and her confident personality as well as her more complex backstory. "all i ever wanted was the world" with this we can show her past, when all she wants is to spend time with saori, which at the time is her entire world. "would you do anything for me? buy a big diamond ring for me?" with this we can see the more materialistic sides of her personality, which all come from her humble upbringing in that little town. "i know i've go a big ego, i really don't know why it's such a big deal though" this resembles nobara's more confident side, where she is really proud of who she is and often cannot understand why others are not (see: the situation between her and momo about mai). "fill the void with celluloid. take a picture, i'm with the boys" nobara hides her sadness by living it up, because she wants to be able to go to saori and tell her about all the amazing things she did. she doesn't want saori to feel bad for leaving her, she wants to find her and then they can have fun just like they did when they were children, fun in the way that they couldn't have back in that country town..

yuuta okkotsu is little dark age by mgmt. this song helps show yuuta's greif at rika's death and his transformation into a sorcerer. "the ruins of the day, painted with a scar" this represents how yuuta never truly got over rika's death, the scar being her curse, something that he carved but will never leave him.. "and the more i straighten out, the less i want to try" as yuuta goes through his life, rika wreaks havoc unintentionally, making him give up on ever living a normal life again: rather isolating himself in misery or straight up trying to kill himself instead. "oh-oh, forgiving who you are, for what you stand to gain" yuuta harnesses rika's power and temporarily is able to control her cruse in order to gain power when he needs it. but it is not whole and complete and is done quite selfishly, rika has not gotten peace yet. "just know that if you hide, it doesn't go away" yuuta tries to supress rika for so long rather than embracing her and this just ends up making things worse for him, even when he tries to hide her by channeling her power into a sword it is not anywhere near his peak after he releases rika from the curse in his fight against geto. "oh-oh, i grieve in stereo, the stereo sounds strange" in yuuta's grief he creates the curse that rika is. unintentionally he curses this little girl and keeps her soul with him for nearly a decade after death, blaming her the entire time when he was the one who chained her soul to himself. eventually she finds peace and is able to pass on, but yuuta will forever be left with this constant reminder of his dead, first love and it is the source of all of his power. to give up and move on would be to relinquish what gives him strength, so he's trapped in this loophole of grief to keep the flame of his strength alive, never able to give himself the closure he gave her.

maki zen'in is oh no by marina and the diamonds. this song shows maki's development and past almost seamlessly, it also shows her parallels with toji well. "don't need money, don't need fame, i just wanna make a change" this shows how maki is not a sorcerer for the money or regard, but to change things. she just wants to change the jujutsu world, specifically the zen'ins so that there can be a place for her and mai to be safe. "i know exactly what i want and who i want to be" maki does not question who she is and her goals despite constant shame and ridicule by her clan, and eventually her own sister, she stays true to herself through it all. "i'm now becoming my own self-fulfilled prophecy" maki ends up nearly dying at the hands of a curse and she emerges changed. eventually she realizes her strength at the cost of her sisters life (will be more explained later) and fulfills the gap that toji left behind, fully embracing his legacy. "'cause i feel like i'm the worst, so i always act like i'm the best" maki's aloof persona is brought on as a way to cope with always being shut out and put down, she acts like she's better than everyone because all her life she was told she was below everyone. "if you are not very careful, your possessions will possess you" maki's sister sacrifices herself in an attempt to save maki and perfectly recreates toji's famous weapon out of her body. maki uses this sword and slaughters nearly the entire zen'in clan. he rage takes her over and she becomes more of a possession of violence for that period.

toge inumaki is soap by melanie martinez. this song shows how toge must constantly think about what he says and how when he does not it can be catastrophic. "guess i better wash my mouth out with soap" we can take this literally and think that all the words inumaki is able to say are always so negative, like he is constantly telling cursed to kill themselves pretty much (see: blast away, explode, get crushed). "i'm tried of being careful, tip-toe, trying to keep the water warm" it must be so emotionally and mentally taxing to constantly watch what you're saying like inumaki has to constantly. think about wanting to say something so desperately but you can't, or if nobody could ever understand you again. he can never truly talk and express himself vocally without risking hurting somebody or himself. "i feel it coming out my throat, guess i better wash my mouth out with soap" with this we can see the pain that comes with inumaki from just speaking, like his power makes him. just one simple word can destroy his throat. "god, i wish i never spoke, now i gotta was my mouth out with soap" in assumption, if inumaki ever accidentally spoke without thinking, he would feel such an insurmountable guilt. it's something as simple as a word and he is able to cause so much pain, it would make anyone hesitant to ever speak again. inumaki's power is such a double edged sword in its effectiveness and ease of use, it effects his every day life where he can never have experiences that all his friends do so easily.

satoru gojo is seventeen by marina and the diamonds. this song encapsulates his character and his development pretty well. i saw this on tiktok (can't remember the user) and i agree wholeheartedly. the chorus is especially compliant to his character."i felt you question the way-ay i was brought up as a baby" this can exemplify the effect that the six eyes and limitless had on his childhood, because he can never have an experience that is comparable to any other person. "could never tell you what happened the day i turned seventeen" his arc for s2 is when he is seventeen, including everything that happens with suguru. "the rise of a king, and the fall of a queen" this resembles satoru and suguru's relationship, as gojo climbs and becomes the strongest; suguru falls to the burden of his curse and his ideals. in the end, gojo becomes the strongest and suguru 'falls from grace' in that he becomes a curse user. the song fits him well beyond the chorus as well. "oh, you were embarrassed if me 'cause i used my tongue freely" this is an example of how, despite being the pillar of it, gojo constantly brings shame to the higher-ups with his attitude, especially in his younger years. "no, no i'm not your little slave, no i don't twist and turn that way" this also shows his relationship with the higher-ups in how he so vehemently hates being a pawn for these people that he hates, how he is used as some weapon. i could go on and on about this song and gojo but i'll cut it off so there isn't too apparent favoritism.

suguru geto is my old man by mac demarco. this song shows suguru's change into the very thing he hates. how he loses all of his morals, which were the only things that truly kept him sane, and becomes the one thing he vowed to never become. "look in the mirror, who do you see? someone familiar, but surely, not me" we can see the struggle that he goes through as he changes, as we saw with his physicality in the manga. as his entire worldview shifts drastically he and everyone he knows no longer recognizes him, he becomes a different person. "but it just can't be. look at all the steps that brought you where you are today" we can see suguru questioning his entire life up until that point in this. we see the struggle he goes through as he so desperately tries to cling onto the shreds of his morals that he once held so highly on a pedestal. "as a heart grows stronger, sometimes love is pushed away" this resembles his relationship with satoru, in that as geto and suguru are finding themselves, they become distant and lose each other in the process. "oh, no, looks like i'm seeing more of my old man in me" this shows suguru slowly recognizing that he is falling apart at the seams. he is seeing all the things he once hated in himself, he is becoming the once thing he vowed to never become, and he is losing everything he held dear all at the same time..

toji fushiguro is oh no by marina and the diamonds. this song shows his struggle with being born as a non-sorcerer within one of the big three families. "want it fast, want it hard" in a literal sense we can take this onto toji's physicality, he is extremely fast and extremely strong, something he was able to achieve unlike any other human of this world, something that the sorcerers that looked down on him could not. "i'm now becoming my own self-fulfilled prophecy" this can exemplify toji's unraveling during his fight after gojo resuscitates, how he gives in to the feeling that he pushed back, how he feels fear for the first time, how he feared dying and actually dies. "if you are not very careful, your possessions will possess you" toji's unwillingness to back down and his will to fight drives him to his death in his battle with gojo as he loses at the one thing he is good at. "tv taught me how to feel, now real life has no appeal" in this, we can see just how dull toji is when he is not in battle, how he blows all his money gambling without a care, because he does not truly wish to be alive. "i'm gonna live, i'm gonna fly. i'm gonna fail, i'm gonna die" again, in a literal sense, we can apply this to the difference between his two battles with gojo, how he is so haughty at the first but unravels in sight of his demise at the second. toji's convoluted character is describe soundly in this song.

kento nanami is nobody by mitski. this song represents nanami's despondence for society and most people, despite this he just wants to live a normal life, the life yu haibara deserved to have lived. "my god, i'm so lonely" after haibara's death nanami didn't really have anybody to lean on, he was the only person who truly understood him, so he leaves the jujutsu world to try to live the normal life that his best friend deserved. "venus, planet of love, was destroyed by global warming. did it's people want too much too?" nanami's life is destroyed by sonething that should not happen to children, so he becomes obsessed with not letting other kids (yuuji) experience similar tragedies, because there was no adult there for him. "guess i'm a coward, i just want to feel alright" nanami wishes to be happy and normal, he wants to work so he can retire and live a long carefree life. a life away from jujutsu sorcery and it's despondency, but he eventually winds right back in that world, saving someone just like him. "and i know no one will save me" nanami is incredibly at peace with the concept of dying, so he does not expect to be save , he does not hope for salvation (see: mahito domain, and when he actually dies). nanami lived a life where he never truly healed, he never truly had someone by his side that understood him, that person died in yu haibara over a decade ago.

sukuna ryomen is the fruits by paris paloma. this song represents sukuna's identity as the original curse, but it also incorporates some of his past as a sorcerer and his past with uraume. "i have no time for confession, for i'm too busy committing sins" sukuna does not acknowledges the travesties that he has committed, because he simply does too many of them to be able to remember. "'angel' he calls me, does he know that i'm failing from a precipice that i tripped of long ago?" uraume worships and serves sukuna despite his horrible acts and his terrible personality. but does he know that sukuna was once the very thing they fight against, that he was once a sorcerer, that his fate as a sorcerer lead him down this path as the kind of curses. "for if i'm going down, i guess i'll take you with me" sukuna is the kind of person to drag someone down with him. urarume stays with him even beyond death, helping to aid him once he revives because he truly trusts and believes that sukuna will return. "i feel your lips kissing my feet, but even so, oh! oh, call me a devil" sukuna was worshiped during his time on the earth, yet so many people despised him and called him a monster despite claiming to have him as their deity. even when he was in complete power there were still people praying on his downfall despite claiming to be praying to him..

choso is fish in a birdcage by fish in a birdcage. this song helps to explain choso's relationship with his brothers and the value he places upon them and eventually yuuji. "my brother always sings me songs, with his beak he tries to soothe me, he makes me feel that i belong" choso and his brother makes each other feel whole. they make each other feel normal when they are truly the only beings like each other in the world the only half human half curses to ever exist. "so carry me from these walls, brother of mine, show me the world outside" choso feels the duty to free all of his brothers from their cursed wombs, to fee them from their imprisonment. he wishes to show them a life they can truly life, a happy life (see: picnic scene where he thinks yuuji is his brother). "i'm counting on you, to be my wings and my eyes" him and his brothers agreed to fully rely on each other, they vow to protect one another no matter what, they trust each other wholly. "you gave me more than i could ask for, indistinguishability" once his brothers leave this world, he feels nothing but grief. but when he becomes deluded that yuuji too is his brother, he cannot help but feel so grateful to have another chance to protect his baby brother, a chance of redemption. maybe yuuji really is his brother, is his mother was kenjaku's vessel and noritoshi kamo (he old one) was also his vessel, they would be sort of related.

okkotsuus 23

[cccloudsss]

WIP Wednesday! (i'll make a banner eventually)

this will be horribly formatted because i never post on here but it's okay... trust

i'm still working on Love. Again. !!! keep your eyes peeled for more time travel (not really) shenanigans, it's just taking awhile because i posted the first chapter without a plot. and the plotting doc is like 7 pages long. help. (it's got hilarious jokes on it so i'll probably lean into that in the fic)

in the meantime i've currently been cooking up a WIP that is near and dear to my heart. it's based on my personal struggles but no fear it shall be posted eventually. hopefully it isn't too out of character for simon, but some of the lines i've written are in WS or AWTWB which made me laugh. it is also my stream of consciousness, so perhaps i'm just simon reincarnate

here's a snippet of what i've written so far (will be posted in a couple weeks) (hopefully a oneshot) (also simon pov)

“Hey, babe.” I say, knocking on the door frame. He still has his arm over his eyes. “You’re back? I thought you’d be gone by now. Like you have every time.” He’s frustrated. I can’t help but be angry that he’s mad. Why is he allowed to be mad when he’s the one who touched me like that?  I don’t reply. He continues anyway. “You know you bait me every time. I can’t take it Simon. You can’t act like you want to be here all the time, you can barely keep your hands off of me, but the second we do anything other than just cuddling, you leave. And it’s always my fault. Penelope on her way?” He’s got such a horrible tone. I back off.  “She is.” He goes through this every time. I can’t do it. If I’m not good enough for him, I’ll lean into it.

it will be horribly angsty. i'm just trying so hard not to post it already haha, trying to make it a one shot.

first wip wednesday so no tags.... but add me to your list <333

whoops @roomwithanopenfire