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chilligyu · 3 years ago

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info: platonic wonwoo/reader, teen, college au genre: angst | word ct: 1.5k warnings: implied past suicide summary: he was sick of being what everyone else wanted him to be, but he didn't even know how to be himself. she would be the one to finally teach him something worthwhile.

“You may begin.”

And thus began a unique symphony. The sound of test booklets being flipped, of pencils scratching down answers. Of students nervously tapping their fingers at their desks, of a tyrannical professor circling the class. Of seconds ticking by, and of one stubborn student snoring quietly in the corner.

Jeon Wonwoo.

He was sitting in the back of the class, headphones in his ears, his hoodie pulled over his eyes, and his arms crossed over his chest as he slept. His classmates offered him sparing glances, unsure if they should try to wake him. But—no one did. No one ever did. Everyone was completely content to let him fail the test. If he was so determined to throw his future away, who were they to stop him?

“Mr Jeon?” His professor asked with a coy smirk. “Care to join the rest of the class?”

Wonwoo didn’t even open his eyes. “Not really.”

“You do realize that you pay to go to school, right?” She questioned, smug amusement clear in her tone. “I get paid regardless of how well you do.”

“Good for you.” He snorted, pulling his hood down even further.

She shook her head at him in fake disappointment. “Such a waste of potential. To think, Jeon Wonwoo, the piano prodigy, can’t even pass a simple introduction to music theory class.”

“Fuck off.” He hissed through his teeth.

This woman makes my blood boil.

She snorted, feeling as though she’d won. “All this talk of Composer Jeon’s son attending our small university with absolutely nothing to show for it. Your parents must be proud.”

Without another word, Wonwoo grabbed his bag and stormed out of the room.

Fuck her. He swore to himself as he climbed the stairs to the roof. Fuck her, fuck my parents, fuck this place, fuck everything!

Throwing the door open, the cool autumn air swirled around him and he suddenly felt at ease. He was finally free. Free of the absurd expectations placed on him, free from the pressure that was crushing him, and free from the world that told him how to act, how to think, how to be. He closed his eyes, a small smile creasing his face. Then he fumbled through his pockets looking for his lighter.

“Jeon Wonwoo, what is this?”

“It’s a cigarette, mom.”

“You’re smoking? You have got to be kidding me.”

“Mom—it’s not a big deal—”

“Not a big deal? Not a big—you don’t get to decide what’s a big deal. No son of mine will be caught dead smoking a cigarette!”

“Mom—”

“You really don’t think about anyone other than yourself. What if the press got wind of this? Think of the scandal! You’re still in high school! Do you want me to look like a bad mother? Do you?”

“You already do.” He muttered to himself, lighting up a cigarette and inhaling deeply. “Fucking bitch.”

“Do you always talk to yourself?”

Wonwoo turned abruptly, startled by the sudden intrusion. At first, he thought it might be a teacher, but standing by the door was just some girl. Just another annoyance. Just someone else questioning everything he did. At least this one he could ignore, and he did. He turned up his music and headed over to the edge of the roof.

“Hey!” She laughed, jogging up to his side. “I was just kidding!”

He rolled his eyes, pulling out one of his ear buds. “Great, now leave me alone.”

She let loose a low whistle. “Yikes. Who put you in a bad mood?”

“A lot of people.” He continued, taking a drag. “Look, take a hint, I’m not in the mood to listen to you lecture me.”

“Okay…” She started with a smile. “Are you in the mood to talk? You look like you have a lot on your mind.”

Wonwoo stuffed one hand in his pocket. “I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”

“It’s not.” She agreed easily. “But I can speak from experience, nothing good comes from bottling it all up inside.”

“Why the fuck do you care?” He practically growled at her, his frustration rising. “You don’t even know me.”

She shrugged. “What’s that got to do with anything? Can’t I care about someone I don’t know?”

A humourless chuckle bubbled past his lips. “In my experience, people who know me don’t even care about me.”

“Then a change of pace is just what the doctor ordered!” She exclaimed. “Just tell me what’s eating you, maybe I can help.”

He shook his head in disbelief. “I doubt it.”

She rolled her eyes at him. “C’mon, try me. What’s the worst that can happen?”

Exhaling, he decided to give it a shot, because she had a point.

“All my life I’ve played the piano.” He started. “My mother is a famous cellist, my father’s a famous pianist, it was safe to assume that I had some sort of musical talent. And I do, I just—have you ever done something for so long that you just feel compelled to continue?”

She nodded. “Definitely. It’s the only thing you’ve known.”

He took a drag from his cigarette. “Exactly. So, I went to college to play the piano, like my dad. That was the big plan my parents had for me. But—it’s not what I want to do.”

“What do you want to do?” She asked. “Something other than music?”

He shrugged. “I mean, I love music, I’m just not big on the performing end of it. I’d much rather produce than be on stage.”

“Then why don’t you?” She continued, like it was that simple.

“My mom would probably disown me.” He chuckled. “All of those classes, all that money, she would see it as a waste. Some days I feel more like an investment to her and less like her son.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see her wince. “Wow, that’s rough.”

“You’re telling me.” He agreed, finishing off his cigarette and flicking it off the roof. “Shit sucks.”

She nodded in understanding. “I feel you, I really do. You shouldn’t have to put up with that.”

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Yeah. Doesn’t change the fact that I do.”

“Why settle for that?” She asked. “Why not do what you want? I say to hell with her plan! You’ve got your own dreams and desires, aspirations and what not, she’s got no business telling you what to do.”

He let out a quiet laugh. “You clearly haven’t met my mother.”

“That’s true.” She conceded. “But you haven’t met my father, sounds like they’d make quite the pair.”

“Did you ever rebel against him?” Wonwoo asked.

Sadly, she shook her head. “No, I never did. Wish I had though, my life would’ve been a lot different if I just mustered up the courage to say “dad, I want to be a singer, not a classic violinist, please support me”. Instead, I suffered in silence.”

“So you’ve really got no room to talk.” He scoffed. “You’re just as hopeless as me.”

It was barely noticeable, but a small yet sad smile creased her face. “That’s true. Only—there’s still hope for you. You’ve still got a chance.”

“What do you mean—”

He stopped suddenly, shocked to see her climbing up onto the ledge of the roof.

“What are you doing?” He asked in horror, reaching out for her. “Don’t—don’t do it. It’s not hopeless, I promise you, you can still be a singer. There’s still time.”

She offered him a look he couldn’t quite describe. “Sadly, my time’s up Wonwoo. Follow your dreams. Don’t be like me.”

Then, she jumped. It was so sudden, so unexpected, he hesitated for just a second. When he rushed to grab her, to save her from herself, she was gone. He was too late. Reluctantly, he looked out over the edge. He expected to see something that would haunt him for years to come—but she wasn’t there. There wasn’t a trace of her anywhere. Confused, he turned back around, hoping to catch a glimpse of her, hoping that his mind was playing tricks on him.

“Sadly, my time’s up Wonwoo.”

He swore that he was going crazy, because for the life of him he was sure that he never told her his name.

“Follow your dreams.”

He clutched his heart in agony.

“Don’t be like me.”

#thesvttown #kpopscape #ficscafe #wonwoo fanfic #svt fanfic #seventeen fanfic #m:jww #g:angst #r:pg13 #w:1k #t:oneshot #p:3rd #s:none #tw:implied past suicide #lex writes #chilligyu #*lessons #fic:svt

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purple-dahlias · 3 years ago

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day eleven- emotional

wc: 1050 requested: no warnings: pregnancy

“Hey, Sarah, Is- uh- everything alright with Ava?” Will asks, catching Sarah just as she’s heading towards the elevators.

“What do you mean?” Sarah frowns slightly, looking up, worry clouding her face.

“Well I just saw her in the cafeteria crying over a muffin and when I asked her if she was okay she told me if I didn’t go away she would take her fork and shove it up my—”

“Okay,” Sarah interrupts him pointedly, looking around at the nurses standing by the elevators that had turned to stare. She could already tell where that sentence was going, and it honestly didn’t need to be said. “I’ll go check on her. But I’m sure she’s fine. You probably just caught her at a bad time. She’s been under such a lot of pressure with the attending job and Connor leaving and all.”

“Yeah, I suppose you’re right,” but it’s Will’s turn to frown. He had spent a great deal of time teaching Sarah back when she was still a student, and he knew enough about her to be able to tell she was hiding something from him. He doesn’t, however, have the time to pursue his suspicions because by the time he thinks to, Sarah has hurried off away from him, in the direction of the cafeteria.

At least, Sarah thinks, if it was how Will said it was, it wasn’t anything to be worried about, but rather, naturalfor Ava now. Sarah knows exactly what was going on with Ava, but it was in no way her business to tell. Not yet at least. Apart from Sarah, the only other person who knew anything about it all was Ava’s OB. And Sarah hadn’t even meant to find out. She had just stumbled into the bathroom on the CT floor one afternoon and, well, it had gone from there. Hell, her and Ava weren’t even exactly close at the time, but now…

She knew Ava still needed time, needed to be ready before anyone else knew. And that was fair, it was a big change. That was an understatement, really.

When Sarah arrives, the cafeteria is less than half full. There are a few student doctors milling around, and a couple of doctors she recognises as ortho residents. At the far table, by the window, though, she spots Ava, attacking a muffin with her fork, her head bent over her tablet in front of her.

“Hey, Ava,” Sarah begins lightly, slipping into the seat opposite the attending.

“Oh, hi,” Ava sighs, looking up and noticing the expression on Sarah’s face. “I’m guessing you spoke to Will?”

“Yeah. He looked pretty terrified when he found me. Seems like you threatened him.”

“I did,” Ava shrugs, as if it’s the most natural thing in the world to have done.

“Can I ask why, or—”

“My body’s crazy and messed up right now and so that means one minute I’m happy, the next I’m crying and people around me probably think I’m suicidal or something and then everyone is irritating and I want to killthem. So I don’t precisely know why, but I’m just so ready for this part to be over.”

“I know, Avey, I know,” Sarah says softly, reaching across to run her thumb over Ava’s knuckles from where her hands rest in fists on the table in front of her.

If either of the two notice the use of the nickname, one Sarah had never used before, well, neither of them mentioned anything about it.

“You know, I almost puked into a body cavity this morning, so my day hasn’t had the greatest start,” Ava laughs emptily. “Seems I can’t even work to take my mind off everything.”

“Well, have you considered maybe taking the rest of the day off? I know it’s still early days, and the past couple weeks have been a lot to deal with, maybe it would do you some good? Try and reset?”

“Please don’t try and shrink me.”

“Not shrinking,” Sarah assures. “Just trying to be a friend.”

“I know that… it’s just. If I take the rest of the day off it’ll be all oh look at Dr Bekker she’s too emotional to handle surgery and everyone will be talking about it. I never take time off. Ever.”

“Ava, I think maybe you’re blowing this a little out of proportion. No one’s going to be talking about you—”

“Will was talking about me to you!” Ava cuts her off, illustrating her point by striking her fork against the table, one of the plastic prongs flying off under the force and skittering to a halt under Sarah’s chair.

“Yeah, only because he knows we’re… friends.”

“Yeah, right.”

“Ava, when did you last sleep?”

“If you mean the last time I actually slept properly, without waking up? I don’t remember,” Ava’s voice shakes, and Sarah can tell she’s on the verge of tears.

“Okay, that’s it. We’re getting out of here. Come on.”

“But my shift, your shift—”

“You are taking the rest of the day off sick. And I’m sure Dr Charles can handle things without me. Come on.” Sarah stands, holding out a hand to Ava, who shakes her head.

“I’m not an invalid, Sarah.”

“I know. Alright,” Sarah smiles, instead moving to help Ava gather her things, which, surprisingly, she doesn’tprotest at, and the two make their way towards the car park and to Sarah’s car.

The mid-morning Chicago traffic, for once, is light, and the journey to Ava’s apartment is short. Even so, by the time Sarah reaches the first red light, she looks over to find Ava fast asleep beside her in the passenger seat, lips slightly parted, face free of worry; the calmest Sarah had seen her in a while. It sends a smile creeping across her face. Careful not to wake her, Sarah reaches behind her to the back seat where her coat lies, dragging it to the front and tucking it around Ava, gently brushing a strand of hair out of her face. Clearly, Sarah had made the right call in taking Ava home. She turns the radio down and leans over to recline Ava’s seat a little further.

“Sleep well, Ava,” she whispers, just as the light turns green.

#medtober2021 #alternate prompts #silverlining!au #one day i'll write this au out properly i promise #ava bekker #sarah reese #will halstead #chicago med #my writing #this is not proof read at all #and i kinda hate it but oh well #also lets ignore how this is a day late

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liu-lang · 4 years ago

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my mum went to hospital on Monday, December 21. Her husband didn’t inform us until a day later when we asked why we hadn’t heard from her in over a day. When she went to hospital, he didn’t collect any info on who her doctor is, her room number, her course of treatment, how to get updates, how we would be able to contact her.

The first time she went to hospital it was for a stabbing pain in her head. She’s having terrible headaches as a side effect. They took a CT scan, didn’t find anything and released her.

Every day since she’s been admitted, her husband sends my sisters and I texts like these. In the middle of our work days, we take turns ringing btwn 14h and 17h to get an update from the nurse. She is on 4 litres of oxygen, remdesivir and is receiving plasma in addition to other medications for her pneumonia.

My twin and I were the first to FaceTime her and she couldn’t hold a conversation with us as she was so out of breath. She could only say 2 words at a time. My little sister was too scared to talk to her but finally did so today when we facetime’d all together.

My mum doesn’t have any comorbidities and was in good health prior to getting COVID from her husband. Being in hospital on so many medications is very scary and new for her. The nurses say she is very anxious and delirious. I think back to my 2 hospitalisations in Beijing for my pneumonia and remind her I empathise and I know it can feel very lonely and scary. She is experiencing nausea and has a loss of appetite. I also struggled to eat and had to be put on anti-nausea medication. Time didn’t feel real in the hospital and no matter how many hours I slept, I always still felt tired. The only people I could see were the nurses and doctors and my family over FaceTime; this is what she is going through now.

I feel like I’m merely listing facts of the situation. It is difficult for me to access or articulate my emotions about this. I have a complicated relationship with my mum and I am also trying to keep it together emotionally since my colleagues have been testing positive for months as we all continue to work on premises. I know some my followers are teachers and I’m thinking of you and hope you can continue remote teaching. My mum and her husband are teachers. He had to go in and teach once a week and most likely caught covid from a student or another staff member and brought it home to my mum.

For now I’m focused on getting updates on my mum and keeping in touch with her and my sisters the best I can. Her husband has less severe symptoms than her and has been recuperating at home. My sisters and I have sent groceries to their home and arranged for someone to take Daisy out on walks.

#personal #please don’t reblog #why are men so useless

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hyunjilicious · 5 years ago

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Reader is terrified of doctors but Jackson had been their doctor forever and the only one to calm then down /prep them when they need surgery

Ok, so i wanted to this right, but i didn’t know what condition the reader could have so that she’d need to come see him so much, so i just wrote the part where he is always there for her :) i really hope you don’t mind and that you’ll still enjoy this! Thank for the request!

"Yeah, mom" you sighed, "Yes, I will... Yes, yeah, I know, I will call- I love- I love you too, mom, yeah, ok. Ok, bye- yes, I will, ok. Mom, I got, ok? Relax, thank you, I love you too. Bye"

Just how much of your conversations with your mom worked over the phone. As if it wasn't enough that she was worried about you even when you were already at home, hearing that you called an ambulance and were rushed to the hospital, she almost lost it entirely. After finishing high school, you moved to different state, so your relationship with her was mostly telephone-based, so you couldn't really blame her. At the beginning, you'd call her a couple of times a day, complaining about mundane stuff or getting all excited over the most insignificant things, but you didn't have anyone else to call. Not only did she understand, but she also enjoyed being up to date with whatever it was you were up to. The first, and the best, even to this day, friend you had made in Seattle was Jackson. He introduced you to Dr. Shepard years ago, and has been by your side whenever you needed him.

Following a bad car accident that took place years ago, you underwent a number of brain surgeries, but in the end, the prognostic was good. They mentioned that you might lose your motor skills on the right side of your lower body, but until this morning, you showed no signs. However, while making coffee, as you tried to turn around and place your mug on the counter, your left leg gave in entirely, causing you to fall onto the ground. The mug shattered into a few big pieces which got lodged in your palm, as you fell right on top of them. It wasn't the puddle of blood on the floor that freaked you out, but that feeling you got when you couldn't control your legs leg anymore. That was what prompted you to call the ambulance.

On your way to the hospital, your motor skills returned and you felt ready to stop at anytime, get off, and head back home. It wasn't that you actually thought you were fine, you hated hospitals. With all your heart. The more time you spent at Grey Sloan, the sicker to your stomach you felt.

By the time you got to your assigned bed in the ER, Jackson had already appeared beside you.

"What happened to your hand?" he asked concerned, gently grabbing your wrist and turning your arm around, so he could take a better look at the bandages the paramedics wrapped around your wound.

"Hi" you mocked, shaking your head as he completely failed to greet you.

"Hello, Y/n" he said back, smiling as if he had done you a favor, "What happened?"

"It's not the hand" you sighed, getting more comfortable in your bed. You rolled your eyes and corrected yourself, "I mean it's the hand too, but that's not why I came here"

He looked at you knowingly, that was how you always acted. Everything medical has always scared the life out of you. "Tell me?"

"It's my leg"

"What about your leg?" he asked, all of a sudden concerned. He probably didn't think something bad had happened, most likely, in his head, there were just the cuts on your arm, and the rest of the story was you being paranoid. However, the tremor in your voice proved him wrong.

"I couldn't move it, or feel it" you admitted, "It lasted for about a couple of minutes, that's how I fell"

At one point, as you talked, Jackson spun around in his chair and ask a nurse to call for "A neuro consult"

"Fuck, tell me it's Amelia" you whined, hands already getting shaky.

"Ok, relax" Jackson cooed, gently pushing you back as you didn't even realize you were beginning to stand up, "I'll take care of your hand, and in case Koracick shows up I'll send him on his way, ok?"

"Thanks" you nodded, and he stood up. First, he leaned in to kiss the top of your head and then walked all the way to the other side of the room, bringing a kit to take care of your cuts.

Somehow, you weren't scared. Somehow, Jackson managed to be literally the only person to work in a hospital and terrify you.

"So, is this what you do all day?" you asked teasingly, looking as he disinfected your wound once again. It burned, deeply, but you brushed it aside, knowing he would never do anything wrong.

"Not interesting enough for you?" he asked, grinning as he looked up into your eyes.

"Just making conversation" you smiled, shrugging.

"Just tell me what have you been working on" he suggested as he gracefully sutured your cuts.

"Oh well" you sighed, "New year, new students. These are so much worst than the other ones. You'd think I got my PhD to do research but I get so into this teaching thing, that I've completely neglected my project"

"Which is?" Jackson questioned, not raising his eyes from your hand.

"Super symmetry and the flaws we currently accept. I'm trying to be the genius of my generation and explain them"

"Can you?"

"Most likely not" you laughed, "I have no idea what I'm doing"

"I'm sure you'll figure it out, you're smart like hell"

"Says he hotshot surgeon" you mocked.

"I never said I wasn't" Jackson defended himself laughing, and just as he prepared to stand, Amelia showed up.

"How's my masterpiece doing?" she asked with a smile.

Your first instinct was to grab something into your hand and squeeze, and much to your surprise, Jackson grabbed your hand into his. He held tight, giving you more reassurance and courage than you could have ever gotten on your own. From what she could check in the ER, everything looked good, so she decided to order a head CT to make sure she wasn't missing anything. A stretcher-bearer walked over and started wheeling you to the CT room.

"I can walk" you said as you felt weird laying down on the bed while Jackson and Amelia walked beside you.

"It's procedure, hun" she smiled, "Don't worry"

Somehow, the schedule for the CT machine got mixed up and overlaid your appointment with the one before you. This way you had about 5 more minutes to wait. While Amelia headed inside, making small talk with the other doctors, you and Jackson waited outside on the hallway.

"Do you think she'll notice if I just run away?"

"Probably" he sighed, amused.

"This is the most awful part. I sit in that oven for 20 minutes and I can literally feel myself get radiated and my neurons die"

"Woah" Jackson gasped, "That was dark"

"I'm sorry"

"No, Y/n, it's ok, I got you" he cooed, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and pulling you close. "I know this is difficult for you, but I'm here, ok? You get scared or anything, it'll literally take me 10 seconds to get you out of there"

"I guess"

"Do you trust me?"

You nodded against his shoulder, but didn't say anything.

"Come on, look at me" Jackson prompted, "Do you trust me?"

"Yeah" you said shily, having serious difficulty looking into his bright blue eyes. "Have you ever gotten a head CT?"

"No" he answered after he thought about it for a minute, "I'll get one right now though, if it'll make you feel better"

"You don't have to" you laughed, "It's ok"

"Would it make you feel better?"

"No" you shook your head, "My fear is completely irrational. I won't calm down until it's all over"

He watched you in silence for a few seconds, and then spoke up, his voice now happy and quite a bit shy. "How about when it's all over I take you out to dinner?". When you failed to say anything and your eyes grew wide, he continued, "As a date?"

"Are you serious?" you cringed, even if your insides were doing jumping jacks.

He nodded eagerly.

"I'll go out with you as long as my brain is fine, I don't want you to a date a cripple or something"

"Oh my god, Y/n" he gasped, "Stop saying stuff like that, god"

"I'm sorry, it's how I cope"

"I'll tolerate it, this time, because you're anxious about the CT and you're really cute, but don't say shit like that ever again"

"Ok, I'm sorry, I won't"

"Good" Jackson chuckled, pulling you back against him. He kissed your cheek, and when you refused to pull away, he placed another kiss, this one a bit lower, and he kept going until he reached your lips. You didn't get to do that much as just when you were about to start kissing him back, Amelia interrupted the two of you, "You two have got no shame, you're in a hospital!"

#jackson avery fanfic #jackson avery imagine #jackson avery #greys anatomy #greys anatomy imagines #greys anatomy fanfic

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punksarahreese · 4 years ago

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Beginning | La Douleur Exquise

nosdecember day 1 | @neworleansspecial

Hanahaki!AU; The beginning of Sarah’s disease

***

"Connor, I’m telling you-"

Sarah tried to block out the conversation from the other side of the nurse’s station but it was proving to be difficult. It just wasn’t often that she heard that lovely voice down in the ED, actually it had been a while since she heard it at all. She didn’t mean to eavesdrop, it was just that she couldn’t help but get distracted by the way Doctor Bekker’s tone held a bit of laughter as she answered whatever banter Connor had thrown at her. She looked so beautiful like that, with her self-assured smile as she gave him a playful shove in response.

That made Sarah look away, feeling like she was intruding and trying to ignore the sudden pressure in her chest. She shouldn’t be so bothered, it’s none of her business anyway.

"Doctor Reese?" Sarah jumped a little, looking up from her chart. Sure enough, Ava had been the one to call her name, waving her over. Sarah forced an awkward smile and obeyed, shuffling over to the two surgeons.

"Doctor Bekker?"

Ava nodded at her in greeting, glancing down at her own tablet before speaking again, "The patient in two, he’s here for a psych matter?"

Sarah had to stifle a sigh, their conversations were only ever work related. She shouldn’t be so disappointed, Ava was her superior in a sense and besides, they weren’t friends. She leaned against the counter for a sense of stability before replying.

"Yeah, uh- he came in during what appeared to be a manic episode. He’s lucid now but we’re assuming undiagnosed Bipolar 1."

"Right," Sarah tried not to flinch at the stern brown eyes that met her own, "You called for a CT consult, though?"

"Oh yes, that was Doctor Choi. He heard a bit of a murmur during initial intake and that paired with the patient’s psychosis led him to believe there could be an underlying physical issue."

Ava hummed, "And what do you think, Doctor?"

She was quizzing her, putting Sarah on the spot. Ava had a habit of doing this, for some reason, always asking Sarah of her opinion though she showed no actual interest in what she thought. She was merely a resident after all, and a psych resident at that. Bottom of the medical food chain, maybe just above medical students, in the surgeon’s eyes.

"Um..." Sarah leaned a little closer to look at the patient chart that Ava had pulled up. She was immediately met by the smell of lilacs, somehow her familiar perfume still present over the harsh hospital hand sanitizer scent. It distracted her, more than she liked to admit, and Sarah had a hard time ignoring the clenching in her chest that time.

Sarah blinked harshly to refocus and then looked at Ava cautiously, "His symptoms, besides the murmur, are congruent with a manic bipolar 1 episode. If he does have a heart condition, it is most likely unrelated or the murmur could have just been a temporary arrhythmia caused by his agitation."

Doctor Bekker listened carefully, nodding as she spoke, "Very good, Doctor Reese; I see you’ve been keeping sharp despite your residency position."

Sarah didn’t want to ask what that was supposed to mean. Ava didn’t seem to like that she was a psych resident, for some reason. Still, the praise was the nicest thing Ava had directed at her in a while. It’s not that she was mean or anything, she was just very no-nonsense and didn’t believe in coddling the younger doctors. Every moment was a teaching moment and there was never room for error.

"I... thanks?"

"So, course of diagnosis?"

Sarah’s head was reeling at the sudden bombardment of questions. Ava wasn’t her attending, wasn’t even an attending in general; why was she doing this? Sarah was not an ED resident either, so if it was physical Ava should be speaking to Ethan.

"EKG," Sarah supplied weakly, "An echo if anything questionable presents there. In the event of tachycardia, beta blockers or other anti-arrhythmics to ease the stress on his heart."

"Precisely," Ava nodded, "Well, I have a patient to see then. Thank you, Doctor Reese; I’ll let you know of any diagnosis if one presents itself."

She left after that, heading in the direction of treatment two. Her dark blonde curls bouncing as she turned, a feat that always distracted Sarah. Ava was just distracting in general and God was it frustrating.

Connor had been watching the whole interaction in amusement, Sarah’s apparent shyness not escaping him.

"She’s not that scary, you know," he said, "All bark and no bite."

Sarah shrugged, "She definitely seems like she would bite, given the chance."

Connor was about to reply when Sarah interrupted him with a cough, a dry one that shook her body painfully. The clenching in her chest was back, making her press her palm to her upper ribs as if she could physically stop the pain from the outside.

"Reese?" Connor’s voice held a fair amount of concern, "You okay?"

Sarah just nodded, the coughing fit ceasing after a few seconds. Her chest still ached, a deep-set pain that felt like she was seven years old again and accidentally breathed in while swimming at the local pool. It was less aggressive though and she eventually regained her composure to respond, albeit hoarsely.

"Just a tickle in my throat," she lied weakly, "May have caught a cold from one of my patients the other day."

Connor didn’t believe her, that was as plain as day, but before he could press the matter his pager went off. It must have been urgent because he took one look at the message and then took off, apologizing to Sarah and telling her to go rest if she felt sick.

She didn’t do that, she couldn’t, but she did go towards the staff washrooms. Sarah just needed a minute to collect herself; or at least that’s what she said. She glanced at every stall and, once she concluded that she was alone, leaned heavily on the sink counter.

She studied her reflection scrutinizingly, noting that her dark circles were worse. She hadn’t been sleeping well, between work and this damn cough she couldn’t seem to shake.

Another cough shook her body, less aggressive than before but still painful. She winced that the feeling of bile rising to her throat, running to a stall and grabbing a clump of toilet paper. She coughed into it, trying to clear the mucous from her throat, and then flushed it without looking.

Maybe if she had been more observant she would have noticed the splotches of blood that littered the paper.

#chicago med #ava bekker #sarah reese #reesker #connor rhodes #my-writing #my aus #la douleur exquise #hanahaki!au #neworleansspecial #userglow #nosdecember

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monstersandmaw · 5 years ago

Text

Embers - Male dragon shifter x reader, Chapter Five! (sfw)

So... this was supposed to go up on Friday but no one reminded me and I’m clearly not able to set a weekly reminder like an actual adult.

Hope you’re still enjoying this weekly series... Don’t forget to show me it some love if you are.

And I seem to have thrown my 'short chapters/800 words only' thing out of the window. This one is the longest so far, at 2455 words long. *rolls eyes at self*.

One, Two, Three, Four

An entire week passed without word from Mikaeïl. You had almost given up on the whole commission for this departmental murder mystery dinner, when one lunchtime your phone buzzed and you answered with barely a glance away from what you were doing. With a searingly important deadline looming for work, your stress levels were possibly at their highest since university finals, and you had been staring at the computer screen for what felt like days without a break.

“Yeah?” you barked, still tweaking the design while holding the phone with your other hand.

“It’s Mikaeïl,” came a surprisingly shy, male voice at the other end. “Is now a bad time?”

Your heart skipped a beat or two and you grinned despite the lingering frustration that the design wasn’t looking anywhere near ‘there’ yet. “No, not at all,” you smiled, “I’m at work, but I’d much rather talk to you.”

That seemed to fluster him a little, but he cleared his throat and said, “Well… I spoke with the department and showed them your preliminary design. They loved it and are very happy to commission you to do the posters for the event.”

“Fantastic!” you grinned, genuinely thrilled to have a more exiting project to work on than this steaming pile of minotaur shit currently sitting on your computer.

“I thought we might discuss it in more detail when you bring Celia over on Friday...” he said, his softly-articulated words doing odd things to your insides and heartbeat. You could imagine him standing amongst his hoard of plants, one arm folded protectively across his slim chest as he stood, ramrod straight, surveying the gardens beyond.

A second after that image had flashed through your mind, you realised that it wasn’t your turn to being Celia to her flute lesson that week. When you said as much, he sighed and said, “Never mind.”

“I mean... Celia doesn’t have to be my only reason to come over and see you, does she?” you asked playfully, doodling with the stylus on a new layer of the design. As you listened to him speak, his eyes began to stare out at you from the screen as you drew them, all distant and guarded, but glittering and somehow soft all the same.

“No,” he said slowly, the slight smile audible in his rich voice. “No, of course not. I’m rather busy with work this week, and I’m presenting a paper at a conference on Thursday, but if you’re alright to meet up in town instead during the week we could do that?”

“Stickybeaks?” you suggested, thinking of the cafe where you’d first met him.

He clearly along the same lines because he gave that sonorous chuckle that made your stomach churn pleasurably. “Perfect. What day suits you? I’m free most days after five, except this Thursday.”

“Friday?” you suggested. “I think Stickybeaks stays open til seven. We could have an early supper? That way you can tell me all about the conference too, if you like.”

“I wouldn’t want to bore you,” he said reflexively.

“Oh, I think you’d have to work quite hard to bore me. I’m really quite a curious person...”

There was something melancholic about the tone of his clipped response. “If you say so,” was all he said. “Well, Friday works well for me. Shall I meet you there at half past five? That will give me enough time to walk over from the department.”

“Perfect. Looking forward to it.”

A beat too late, he said with a slight crack in his voice, “So am I.”

You rushed out of work that Friday and ended up getting to the cafe way too early, so you got out your A3 sketch pad and started to draw a number of variations on the same theme that you’d doodled back at Mikaeïl’s house. When he stepped through the doorway at precisely 5.29pm, Mikaeïl glanced around, the lenses of his round glasses glinting in the low light, and when he saw you, the hard line of his tense shoulders eased just a little.

Mikaeïl nodded politely at Lidaë, who was fluttering around behind the counter as usual despite the fact that there weren’t all that many customers in at that time, and then he strode over to your place in the back corner. The pathway through the sleek, modern tables gave you the opportunity to admire the slender form of his body and the effortless grace with which he moved, almost like a dancer. Today he wore a butterscotch coloured trench coat, belted tightly at his slim waist over black skinny jeans, and his autumn-red hair was tied back in a sleek ponytail again, with the shorter sections at the front falling down to mask the full intensity of his bright golden eyes.

“Hey,” you said, half standing.

“I hope you haven’t been here long,” he said by way of a greeting and staring at your drawings again with that odd expression again.

“No, not really,” you said, awkwardly sitting back down again. “I finished work a bit earlier than usual and came straight here. I roughed out a few more designs for the poster anyway.”

“You’ve been here long enough to have finished your drink,” he said pointedly. “Can I get you another?”

You eyed your empty cup and then glanced at your watch. “I just turned in a major project that’s been bugging me for weeks,” you grinned. “I think I earned a grown up drink…”

He cocked his head slightly and the corner of his pretty mouth twitched ever so slightly to show his amusement. “Congratulations. And I think I might join you in that.”

By the time he returned, you’d shunted the sketch book to one side and once he’d set your drink down, he took his coat off to hang it on the back of his chair. It was a real effort not to stare at the beauty of his figure. Perhaps it was the artist in you, but you really noticed the strong, straight lines of his waist and thighs, his body clearly tightly corded with extremely lean muscle, and the elegant movements of his fingers as he worked the buttons of his coat.

When he was finished, he sat and shyly drew his ponytail over one shoulder, twisting the end of it between his fingertips and blinked softly at you. “What?” he asked in a breathy murmur.

“I… Uh…” you blushed, and settled on a bashful, “Nothing. Have you come straight from teaching?”

He nodded.

“Oh boy,” you laughed. “Your students must love you.”

“I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or not,” he said bluntly.

“I wasn’t,” you said, feeling a heat creeping up your neck. Did he seriously not have any idea how attractive he was? “Don’t take this the wrong way then,” you said, sipping your drink and letting the warmth of the alcohol ignite a little courage in you, “But if you were my professor, I’m not sure I’d get much learning done…”

“Then I’d be failing in my duties as a teacher…”

Damn but he was hard work.

“Never mind,” you said. “How did the conference go?”

“Very well, to my surprise,” he said, holding the stem of his wine glass as if it were a rare specimen rose. He inhaled the scent of the wine before drinking, and closed his eyes briefly as he savoured it. His throat worked and you watched his sharp Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed, and that newly-kindled heat in your cheeks flared a little hotter while blood rushed south away from your brain to somewhere a little less articulate.

“What was your paper on?” you managed to rasp.

He cleared his throat and swirled his wine absentmindedly around his glass. “It’s… hardly a dinner time conversation,” he said.

“What, because you study bodies and death?”

His golden gaze flicked up to meet yours. “Most people find it repulsive.”

“You’re searching for answers,” you said. “I’m sure you’re respectful about the way you treat the remains. What’s repulsive about that?”

Mikaeïl blinked, and then his hard, wary expression flickered to something a little gentler, bordering on relief. “Well, alright. I was presenting my preliminary findings on the use of MRI and CT scans to determine the presence of necromantic activity in long-dead remains…”

“That stuff shows up? Even centuries later?” you asked, instantly intrigued.

He made a side to side shake of his head. “That’s what I’m trying to find out. X-ray has been used in the past, but because any damage caused post-mortem usually presents exactly the same whether the person in question was truly alive or undead, it’s not always particularly accurate… I want to explore the use of other technology to explore the effects that necromantic magic in particular has on the body after the heart has ceased beating.”

“That’s awesome,” you breathed, and he smiled again. “Was it well received?” you asked tentatively.

“Yes, for the most part. Non-invasive examination is always preferable, so there was a deal of interest from others in the field. I even had a lich in the audience who was willing to undergo some testing, which was encouraging.”

“Did you study medicine at the university here?” you asked, and he nodded.

“Quite some while ago though,” he said. “I worked as a medical examiner for a long time.”

You frowned, and he read your next question in your eyes.

“I’m not as youthful as I look,” he said. “My kind is long lived. And before you ask, I’m just over two hundred and sixty.”

“Whoa…” Honestly, it wasn’t actually that much of a surprise, given how… ‘remote’ he seemed at times. A moment later you added with a wry smile, “You must have enjoyed watching the leaps and bounds that science has made then in the last hundred or so years! I’d love to witness something like that…”

“That’s…” he faltered into silence.

“What?”

Mikaeïl steepled his long, fingers and rested his lips against his index and middle fingertips, elbows resting on the table. “That’s… honestly not a reaction I’ve had before.”

“I don’t understand?”

With a dry chuckle, he said, “Most people - though the number is admittedly few - discover I’m old enough to be their ancestor, and they start to act strangely. Friendships have been hard to initiate, and even tougher to maintain, though I’m sure that’s partly due to my own…” he swallowed, apparently unsure of the word before settling on, “‘Quirks’.”

You shrugged. “It sucks, I’m sure, but anyone who doesn’t at least try to understand or get to know you is missing out, and probably isn’t worth the effort anyway, at least in my limited experience. Can I ask you another question though?”

As his lips hitched up on one side, he nodded. “Of course.” And with that, he seemed to relax a little more in your presence.

“Is it super rude of me to ask what you are? I had thought you were at least part tiefling, but that was literally just from the horns and the eyes.”

“A common misconception,” he said over the rim of his wineglass before he took another sip. “And one I usually let slide. But no, I am not any part tiefling. I am… my family is… that is to say…” He set his wine down, took off his glasses, and cleaned them with a little cloth that he drew from his top pocket while he said quietly, “We are dragon shifters. Wyvern, technically.”

You blinked in silence for a stunned moment. Dragon shifters were exceptionally rare these days, having been hunted ruthlessly for sport, mostly by orcs but also by humans, about five hundred years ago. They’d been massacred in droves almost to the point of extinction. “No way,” you finally breathed.

He acknowledged the truth with a brief pursing of his lips, and returned his glasses to his face. Tersely, he added, “Please don’t ask me to prove it here. I won’t fit into this corner of the cafe, and besides, shifting is a huge inconvenience to say the very least.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” you said hastily. “I’m just… amazed? Surprised? Honoured?”

Mikaeïl deftly and promptly steered the conversation onto your drawings and drafts after that, and you allowed him to slide the limelight onto you. Clearly an intensely private individual, Mikaeïl had just honoured you with the truth about himself, and, curious as you were about what he might look like in his wyvern form, you respected his gift by focusing on the real reason you were there. This was not a date after all, no matter how much you wished it were.

Despite that fact, however, it was five minutes before closing time when Lidaë flitted over to you, her iridescent hummingbird’s plumage shimmering, and politely asked if you’d mind wrapping up so she could close up her cafe.

Mikaeïl startled from your conversation as if he’d suffered an electric shock. “I’m so sorry, Lidaë,” he said, standing abruptly and pushing his chair back with a decidedly ungraceful scrape on the wooden floorboards. “I had no idea it was so late.”

She patted his arm fondly and shook her head. “Never you mind, my lovely. I’m glad to see you having such a good evening.”

For the first time since you’d met him, his pale cheeks flushed and he glanced briefly at you before fumbling to pick up his coat. Once he’d slid it on, he fished out his wallet and insisted that he pay for everything.

Outside, with your bag packed and a design finalised, you looked up at him and he turned his deep, golden eyes on you. In the light from the street lamps overhead, his yellow eyes reflected the soft glow in a decidedly inhuman way, and you felt something stirring inside you again.

Feeling perhaps a little uncharacteristically bold, you reached for his shoulders, took them gently in your hands, and leaned in to kiss his smooth, cool cheek. As you withdrew, you saw that he’d gone rigid, his eyes wide with surprise. Allowing yourself a small giggle at his expense, you grinned at him.

“I’ll bring the finished design with me when I bring Celia over next Friday, if that’s ok.”

“Mmhmm,” he hummed softly.

“Looking forward to it,” you said. “And thank you again for supper.”

“My pleasure,” he croaked, bowing his head. “Sincerely.”

Tossing a final grin and a wave his way, you walked off down the street, leaving him standing there, and when you glanced back, you saw that he was walking away in the opposite direction, his fingertips just brushing his cheek where your lips had kissed his skin.

To be continued next Friday! (don’t let me forget!)

—

I really hope you folks enjoyed this one! Don’t forget to let me know if you did enjoy it by leaving a like and/or reblogging it!

For all early releases, character art and bios, upcoming story info, and much, much more, join me over on Patreon!

You’ll have access to stories before anyone else, and you’ll get instant access Patreon-only content as well, including polls and an exclusive monthly story for those on the Pixies and Goblins tier or higher!

#exophilia #dragon shifter #dragon #dragon x reader #dragon shifter x reader #weekly story #weekly series

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danganronpa-ea · 4 years ago

Text

DR: EA2 Chapter 2 Deadly Life - Class Trial part 3

To Read the Prologue click here;

Prologue: part 1 | part 2

Chapter 1 Daily Life: part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4

Chapter 1 Deadly Life: Investigation | CT part 1 | CT part 2 | CT part 3

Chapter 2 Daily Life: part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5

Chapter 2 Deadly Life: Investigation | CT part 1 | CT part 2

Chapter 3 Daily Life: part 1 | part 2 | part 3

Chapter 3 Deadly Life: Investigation | CT part 1 | CT part 2

Chapter 4 Daily Life: part 1 | part 2

Chapter 4 Deadly Life: Investigation | CT part 1 | CT part 2

Chapter 5 Daily Life: part 1 | part 2 | part 3

Chapter 5 Deadly Life: Investigation | CT part 1 | CT part 2 | CT part 3

Chapter 6 Deadly Life/Epilogue: Investigation | CT | Epilogue

Anyway, all credit goes to respective owners.

This person… this out of the three we have so far, I can only think this person committed the crime of killing our instructor and had a reason for it…

Okamoto Fuji: Ohta-san, would you mind if I ask a few questions…?

Ohta Hoshiko: Knowing from that expression of yours… you’re asking if I killed our teacher, correct?

Kimura Tomoe: Hu-Huh? Fuji-chan what are you… talking about?

Okamoto Fuji: I apologize but I just need to ask Ohta-san some questions, which if I might ask you since you figure I was going to ask then… did you do it?

Ohta Hoshiko: Hm, I mean it would make sense to ask me but here’s one thought… Do you have proof that I committed the crime? I mean as far as I know, both the other two are just as suspected as I am.

Inoue Sunako: I mean, it is true – I did recall those three didn’t drink so if anything, they could be suspects too.

Ohta Hoshiko: Exactly plus I was carrying some of the others that were drunk back to the lodge so if anything, I do have an alibi for that night…

So, it appears that Ohta-san won’t confess unless I have proof that she did commit say crime…

Okamoto Fuji: >Jobon’s account, I got it!

Okamoto Fuji: Actually last night both Kita-san and Hayashi-san went back to the ski lodge and discover that Kita-san’s gun and Norman-san’s whip were missing.

Kita Jobon: I do recall doing that along with Ryoko-san, we went to check and seems Norman-san’s and mine’s belongings were not in there at all.

Ohta Hoshiko: …

Esumi Masa: Plus when I was returning to the hospital I did notice the 2 coming back, actually I notice that you took a good while to come back which I thought was quite strange.

Ohta Hoshiko: Really? I mean I was helping carrying Nakahara-san which… I’m not even sure how he ended up high off of pop rocks but regardless I was helping and he was causing trouble, plus if I had the weapons like you claim then tell me… Where would I have hidden them?

It is true, she asking some solid questions, where would Ohta-san have hidden the weapons…

Okamoto Fuji: -Library, -General Store, >Greenhouse, -Hoshiko’s room

Okamoto Fuji: I got it!

Okamoto Fuji: The Greenhouse, it isn’t too far from the ski lodge. Actually it could tell you a few minutes to carry them and hurry about to Nakahara-san.

Ohta Hoshiko: Hm… interesting thought but even still, that seems like a coincidence that I wasn’t seen by that journalist.

Kobayashi Eito: But even then, the dude isn’t that big; he shouldn’t be that much of a hassle… actually, thinking back I was wondering how we all ended up drunk at that party?

Ohta Hoshiko: Maybe you misremember but it was stated by Miwa-san that it could be a prank so maybe that Hanlon was the one that brought it as a prank.

Hanlon Norman: Ah to be insulted by such a fine lady, but even one such as I have standards~.

So seems that Ohta-san is still not confessing or even fessing up – she looks like she won’t go down without a fight… I might need to ask for that person’s account.

Class Debate – START!

Ohta Hoshiko: You honestly think I committed the crime?

Ohta Hoshiko: I mean, I <couldn’t have done it> or had a reason to kill our instructor let alone had nothing to do with this…

Kimura Tomoe: Ye-Yes exactly, I mean <why would Hoshi-chan even kill my mom> when she holds nothing against her?!

Ohta Hoshiko: Indeed, plus I was <with the others and left quickly> so I heard it like the rest of you.

Inoue Sunako: Yep, I do recall that! In fact, I was the (last to leave) as well!

Inoue Sunako: It was after <Miwa-chan and Hoshiko-chan had left> too, so I was with them!

Mori Miwa: I do recall that as well, it took quite a bit since I was drinking the stuff our instructor made, but I (did notice Hoshi-chan was waiting for me) to finish.

Katou Doi: So are we saying that Hoshi-chan didn’t kill our instructor? I guess so…

Ohta Hoshiko: So that proves <I’m innocent in all this> honestly…

She still seems to assume she’s innocent but I have that person’s account that prove something was odd…

Ohta Hoshiko: You honestly think I committed the crime?

Ohta Hoshiko: I mean, I <couldn’t have done it> or had a reason to kill our instructor let alone had nothing to do with this…

Kimura Tomoe: Ye-Yes exactly, I mean <why would Hoshi-chan even kill my mom> when she holds nothing against her?!

Ohta Hoshiko: Indeed, plus I was <with the others and left quickly >< Miwa’s account>

Okamoto Fuji: I’m sorry but that’s wrong!

Class Debate – END!

Okamoto Fuji: Actually, that isn’t true, it seems that you were waiting for Mori-san to be done with her drink from the looks of it… care to explain that?

Mori Miwa: Ah yes, I – Mori Miwa did notice that to be quite strange… I mean you could of left anytime but you didn’t.

Ohta Hoshiko: Well I mostly wanted to wait for you to finish so we all get to see what the announcement was about, wouldn’t make sense for all of us to be there…?

Hamasaki Hana: Well true but still, if I recall right – Mori-san you mention that there be no alcohol at this party, correct?

Mori Miwa: Yes – we did agree with that, plus who would bring alcohol to a party when there’s a child that was attending it? I just figure it was a prank by that lone pervert!

Hanlon Norman: Hey! Don’t accuse me of such things! Keep in mind I work at a circus and even I know what kids shouldn’t have!

Kimura Tomoe: Enough with the lovers quarrel you 2! But still, I do recall that as well and I did not see Norman-kun go get any alcohol at all, I was with him so… Hoshi-chan, did… did you bring the alcohol?

Ohta Hoshiko: …And what if I did? I was at the meeting too; I recall we agree to not bring it due to Inoue…

Inoue Sunako: It might be true but the fact remains you brought it for a reason, which I think Big Sis Fuji knows what it is… right?

The reason… there had to be a reason that Ohta-san brought that alcohol along, why would she do it and what were her plans are… let me see if I can figure it out?

DREA2 – Hangman’s Gambit Crossword – BEGIN!

Question: Why did Ohta-san brought the alcohol?

--------

-----a--

---t-a-t

-i-t-a-t

Di-t-a-t

Dist-a-t

Distra-t

Distract

Okamoto Fuji: That’s the word!

DREA2 – Hangman’s Gambit Crossword – END!

Okamoto Fuji: Ohta-san planned to use us getting drugged as a distraction! She figures during a moment of weakness!

Hanlon Norman: Wait so are you saying that she drugged us just to distract us?!

Esumi Masa: Counting you all were planning the party for me, she figure drugging you all would make sense plus she use it as a moment of weakness… plus she wanted to get something.

Kobayashi Eito: If I had to guess… it was those weapons that Norman-san put in the closet then! Which means… Hoshiko-san was planning to murder our Teach!

Hanlon Norman: Wait then… did that she-devil grab my whip AND Jobon’s rifle! Especially when a child was at the party!

Kita Jobon: I did find it strange that out of all of us, she was the only one that didn’t drink actually… she was watching the whole and-.

CUT IN!

Ohta Hoshiko: Your stars are a line wrong!

Ohta Hoshiko: You really think I’m the killer… I mean if anything, your not letting me defend myself and…

Ohta Hoshiko: Throwing accusation! You really think I would kill our teacher? I find it hard to believe such a claim, especially from all of you…

Katou Doi: But yet again, the evidence lines up, you can’t deny it can you then… let’s prove it here and now!

Cross Sword with Ohta Hoshiko – BEGIN!

Ohta Hoshiko: I can’t believe you all jump to that conclusion //slash// I mean first off I just think it’s ridiculous that you would assume I’m the killer //slash// But if you say I am, then prove it to me! //slash//

Katou Doi: Even if we don’t have much proof but… The evidence is lining up honestly – so that means you’re the killer, right?!

Ohta Hoshiko: But even still, I couldn’t have killed our teacher //slash// which even if I did drug you all //slash// What <reason>< Newspaper ripped story> would I gain from killing her!

Katou Doi: I’ll claw out your words!

Cross Sword with Ohta Hoshiko – END!

Katou Doi: Actually during the investigation – Fuji-chan, Masa-chan, Hana-chan and Sunako-chan along with me had found this piece of paper by the tree that the killer use as an escape!

Ohta Hoshiko: Pa-Paper? Wait… I thought I…

Kimura Tomoe: Wait… a paper? I never saw it at all, can you tell me what it’s about?

Esumi Masa: Well, I’m not sure what it has to do with it but if curious here’s what we found…

As then Masa-san began to read the paper…

Esumi Masa: ‘August 17th, 1997…A large scandal was made that resulted in a couple of fortune tellers, being called scammers and even many believe they were at fault for the ships crash which they predicted would have a safe travel which the wife who was a former Hope’s Peak student by the name of Kimura Kimika, who’s husband had passed away and sue the couple for this. The pair committed suicide due to not handling the idea that there fortune telling was wrong and could not handle the scandal anymore after that event, which their child had discover the bodies and reported to police the child seem to only mutter revenge which they are by the name of-.’

Kobayashi Eito: Wait, that date… isn’t that your birthday, Tomoe-san?

Kimura Tomoe: Yes, it was… that was the day my daddy who returning from a trip which was predicted would make it but suffer a crush and… the day my mother shut down completely, I was 5 years old at the time, which that means…

Hayashi Ryoko: Ohta-san must have been the child that was talk about in the newspaper where both her parents had committed suicide… correct?

Ohta Hoshiko: That… was suppose to be remove.

Hamoponi: Hold on a second, you weren’t supposed to see that! Actually, how did you get that? I thought for sure I got rid of all the newspaper clippings!

Huh? Re…move? Wait… Ohta-san wasn’t suppose to see that?

Ohta Hoshiko: Shut up! That thing was suppose to be gone from my sight, I didn’t want to see that damn thing again! I wanted to burn it and get rid of it like that bitch that ruin my life!

Kimura Tomoe: Hey! Don’t talk about my mother like that Ohta! Yo-You just… you-!

Ohta Hoshiko: Hmph, oh what’s this? NOW you suddenly care for your precious mommy? Hell you at least GOT to keep your fucking parent you ungrateful bitch – but from the looks of it, you taken her for granted… you had what’s coming to you.

Kimura Tomoe: …

Kobayashi Eito: He-Hey, will ask her after the trial but… I get a strange feeling there might have been another reason for using that other escape?

Nakahara Rai: Another reason…? I mean we know that Ohta use that window as an escape but are you sure anyone can jump that high… Wait, what if they use a lightning strike!

Kobayashi Eito: I mean, they don’t have to jump but there is a way to climb down safely…

So then… Ohta-san might have use something to help her escape but what…?

Okamoto Fuji: > Tree as an escape, I got it!

Okamoto Fuji: Actually, there is a way – the tree next to the greenhouse, she could be able to use that as a way of escape and climb down no problem without suffering any injuries, right?

Abiko Benjiro: So we can safely say that Ohta-san might have use that to escape but… why use the fire?

Kita Jobon: Yes, I figure with the gunshots despite being shot by an amateur, still killed Mrs. Kimura regardless so… why start a fire like that?

They are right, the gunshots would have been enough so… what reason did Ohta-san set up the first, what reason would she want to go to this extreme to do it?

Fuji’s Sky Mind Patrol – START!

Question 1: Who was the intended target?

>Tomoe Kimura

- Kimika Kimura

Question 2: Who got killed instead?

-Tomoe Kimura

>Kimika Kimura

Question 3: Why was the fire started?

>To destroy the newspaper

-To destroy the body

Okamoto Fuji: I got it now!

Fuji’s Sky Mind Patrol – END!

Okamoto Fuji: I think I figure the reason, not was her aim for Kimura-san but also that fire was to destroy the newspaper but seems that it might have flown out the window by accident.

Inoue Sunako: Wow, the winds must be on our side, huh?

Hamasaki Hana: Yep, like the love that was gone with the wind~! Such a romantic way to go.

Kimura Tomoe: So n-not only we-we’re you intending me the target but you… you wanted to kill me and get rid of evidence?!

Ohta Hoshiko: Hmph, well I guess if you all are wishing me to answer then yes, I guess that would be my reason but that bitch… she had to get in the way as usual; first getting my parents killed then the party and NOW today, it feels like this bitch is haunting me…

Esumi Masa: Something tells me, that must really hate her, huh? I get it now but… Something is off, isn’t it?

Abiko Benjiro: Oh, you mean the haunting thing – I’ve honestly grown use to those before since I can hear them but you think there’s more too it…?

Esumi Masa: No, actually I just notice… Ohta seems to be staring at her left hand pretty intently when she say ‘NOW today’… something happen there?

Ohta Hoshiko: !!!

Esumi Masa: Seems I got something, being a journalist that I am I can pick up on certain behavior pretty quickly… she did something to you, didn’t she?

Ohta Hoshiko: …

Esumi Masa: What? Can’t speak up now? Well then… will force the truth out of you if we damn have to! Hey Fuji-san, I think we better start to force this girl to speak the truth right now.

So seems that Masa-san pick up on something that Ohta-san had done in this trial which… what would that thing be? It must be something that tip her off and I better see what it could be…

Class Debate – START!

Kobayashi Eito: Wait hold on… are you saying that we’re missing something Esumi-san?

Kobayashi Eito: I mean, we already know <Ohta killed our teach> so I don’t think there’s much to discuss.

Hanlon Norman: Ex-Exactly if anything I want to (kick her out as quickly as possible) if she’s that much of a danger…

Katou Doi: Yeah, I… (rather be done) with this trial already!

Hamasaki Hana: But still, should we make this call or are you (dragging on this trial) because I rather vote right now…

Esumi Masa: No, if anything we’re still missing something… (some important clue) that makes it clear how much she wanted to kill Tomoe-san.

Esumi Masa: Once I get my question answer then we can vote, I assure you all…

Abiko Benjiro: Seems like you’re not satified…

It seems Masa-san pick up on something which shows how much Ohta-san hates Mrs. Kimura and how far was she willing to kill her to this extreme.

Kobayashi Eito: Wait hold on… are you saying that we’re missing something Esumi-san?

Kobayashi Eito: I mean, we already know <Ohta killed our teach> so I don’t think there’s much to discuss.

Hanlon Norman: Ex-Exactly if anything I want to (kick her out as quickly as possible) if she’s that much of a danger…

Katou Doi: Yeah, I… (rather be done) with this trial already!

Hamasaki Hana: But still, should we make this call or are you (dragging on this trial) because I rather vote right now…

Esumi Masa: No, if anything we’re still missing something… (some important clue)< Struggle with the Victim>

Okamoto Fuji: I agree with you!

Class Debate – END!

Okamoto Fuji: Are you talking about that Mrs. Kimura put up a struggle against the Ohta-san?

Esumi Masa: Indeed, she pretty much wanted to kill Tomoe-san that badly that Mrs. Kimura got in the way so I think is that our teacher would go to any extent to protect her child.

Kimura Tomoe: Wait, are you… are you saying mom was protecting me while I was trap in the first exit, right?

Esumi Masa: Indeed, she didn’t want you to die but if I had to guess, Ohta was not satisfied with this so she broke the fire exit too, correct?

Ohta Hoshiko: …

Kimura Tomoe: Ohta, you… you really wanted me dead for something my mother did? You… You hated me so much you wanted me dead!

Ohta Hoshiko: And? You had this coming – you really had this coming. I just didn’t care anymore but still… that bitch sure had to annoy me even more, she even slash my writing hand.

Inoue Sunako: Ooooh, so that’s why your pissed off… well, I think we know what that writing hand is, correct?

So it seems she took out her writing hand which if that’s the case then it would be…

Okamoto Fuji: > Bloody left hand, I got it!

Okamoto Fuji: So I guess if it had to be your left hand, correct? So then if that’s the case… maybe show us?

Ohta Hoshiko: Like as if I’ll show it to any of you, I mean you already know I did it so just vote for me already…

Esumi Masa: But we just need to see it just to be sure, we-…

Ohta Hoshiko: Like as if I need to show it to any of you, so just damn vote already!

Esumi Masa: Well guess we gotta force it out of you, correct? Then let’s end this once and for all! Fuji-san – I think it’s time to bring the culprit down to see how far of revenge is on her mind.

Seems Masa-san really wants to get to culprit to admit then… I’ll help her out, time to end this!

Argument Armament Against An Astrologist!

Ohta Hoshiko: <Didn’t you prove it enough?>

//Smash//

Ohta Hoshiko: <I’m not sure why we continue this, just vote!>

//Smash//

Ohta Hoshiko: <Yo-Your really pushing your luck!>

//Smash//

Ohta Hoshiko: <Your stars are aligning all wrong…>

//Smash//

Ohta Hoshiko: Ugh…!

Stage 2:

Ohta Hoshiko: <Your all fools for pushing this!>

//Smash//

Ohta Hoshiko: <I told you all I know and I did it!>

//Smash//

Ohta Hoshiko: <STOP IT THIS INSTANT!!>

//Smash//

Ohta Hoshiko: <You… You really want me to kill you too?!>

//Smash//

Ohta Hoshiko: Ugh…!

Stage 3:

Ohta Hoshiko: <Shut up shut up shut uuuuup!>

//Smash//

Ohta Hoshiko: <You already proven your case now quit it!>

//Smash//

Ohta Hoshiko: <Just leave me alone!>

//Smash//

Ohta Hoshiko: <THIS IS A BAD DAY FOR YOU AND YOUR BIRTH SIGN!>

//Smash//

THE FINAL HIT!

Ohta Hoshiko: <I…I already proven myself, what else do you need?!>

Okamoto Fuji: <Remove your left glove!>

Okamoto Fuji: I apologize, but it’s over!

Ohta Hoshiko: NOOOOOO!!!

Argument Armament Against An Astrologist Has Ended!

Ohta Hoshiko: Ugh, you… you really want me to show you the damage this bitch cause? I mean my career as an astrologist may as well be over but still…

Inoue Sunako: Wow, she really doesn’t want to let this go… huh?

Hamasaki Hana: Yep but I guess will now end this trial, right Fuji-san?

Okamoto Fuji: I think so and Kimura-san, I will explain everything that happen – do you want to understand what happen?

Kimura Tomoe: If it’s to get back at my mother’s killer… then so be it, I want to hear the whole story!

Okamoto Fuji: Right then, Ohta-san… I apologize but I must show everything that happen, let’s go!

CLIMAX REASONING CHAPTER 2

Inoue Sunako: Man, this killer really just wanted this finish, huh?

Hamasaki Hana: If anything she was proven guilty but I guess Masa-san wanted to make sure…

Inoue Sunako: Well counting she was in a killing game, it would make sense for her to use all evidence, right?

Okamoto Fuji: Even still, we got her and now we got to make her confess… let’s begin!

CLIMAX RETURN CHAPTER 2

Hamasaki Hana/Okamoto Fuji/Inoue Sunako: This is the truth of the case!

Okamoto Fuji: I think we should start likely at one moment… <the party last night>, everyone had plan this to be a welcoming party for <Masa-san who just got out of the hospital> but sadly, that wasn’t the case for <the culprit>…

Hamasaki Hana: Truth be told, our culprit had <drugged us> at the night of the party, only a select few were not drugged, <our victim; Mrs. Kimura, Masa-san, Ryoko-san, Jobon-san, Benjiro-san, Sunako-san, myself and… our culprit> who likely had wanted to use as a distraction.

Inoue Sunako: It seems when all of us <were carrying those drunk, our culprit> had decided to grab the weapons that <Norman-kun had left in the closet since they were told!> Which then they brought the weapon to one place!

Hamasaki Hana: <The Greenhouse>, they had intended use that place as where <the culprit> was going to kill someone.

Okamoto Fuji: The next morning <the culprit> woke up early which the first thing they did was write a note of sorts which was for someone… <Kimura Tomoe, who was the one the culprit had aimed for originally> which as then they left as getting ready for the crime.

Hamasaki Hana: It seems a bit later, <Masa-san had noticed her journal was missing> so she went to someone… the victim of this case, <Mrs. Kimura to search for it> which I came downstairs and ask to tell those drunk to drink the cups on the table. As I was waiting I saw the first person up… <Kimura Tomoe who took a glass and left pretty quickly> due to the note. After that I had waited which then <Sunako-chan and Rai-san walk downstairs> which I had to use the bathroom and left.

Inoue Sunako: As then it seems that while <Tomoe-chan left for the greenhouse>, someone spotted her… <Mrs. Kimura and Masa-san> notice she was heading there, which then Mrs. Kimura decided to return back to Lodge to get something – she didn’t tell Masa-san but she approach someone… <Ryoko-san, who just got up and ask for a knife>!

Hamasaki Hana: After that, <our victim was ready which then she and Masa-san rush over to the greenhouse> which as it sees Mrs. Kimura told Masa-san to wait outside which as then Mrs. Kimura rush in as <Tomoe-san was waiting> seeming surprise by this turn of events… which however <the culprit> didn’t expect it either!

Okamoto Fuji: As then <due to the culprit’s inexperience with guns> she try to shoot at her intended target but instead someone… step in the way, <Mrs. Kimura who got shot at> which as then to save her daughter she <push her into the fire exit> which as then <the victim> had began to fight <the culprit> just so her daughter would be safe as fires were blaring she shot one more bullet, <in the victim’s head> which they use <Norman-san’s whip> as rope.

Inoue Sunako: Now a gunshot would have been enough to kill <Mrs. Kimura> but seems our culprit decided to put the greenhouse on fire <which alerted Masa-san to rush off to tell the others> however it seems our culprit had another reason; first they threw the knife on the floor, then the journal and then… <the newspaper they discover> which after that they climbed down a tree that was near by but seems our culprit had other plan…

Okamoto Fuji: <The culprit> was not satisfied and decided to <destroy the fire exit so Tomoe-san was trap in there> which after they completed this they decided to take care of something… <the wound on there writing hand, there left hand to be exact!> So the killer when to the hospital to take care of it but sadly… seems they left behind something, <blood on the doorknob> which became their biggest downfall.

Hamasaki Hana: As then <the culprit returns back to the lodge> like as if nothing happens while we were distracted by the fire which they <quietly snuck upstairs as returning Jobon-san and Norman-san’s things and return to there bedroom… until the announcement by Hamoponi.

Inoue Sunako: I was told to stay of course but the last people to come down was <Miwa-chan and our culprit>! So I took my leave however it seems Miwa-chan notice that <our culprit> was waiting by the door for quiiite a while which was odd to Miwa-chan.

Okamoto Fuji: As then <we had to investigate and started a class trial> however it seems someone was trap in the fire exit which we didn’t know at the time was <Kimura-san> who was let out and saw the remains of her mother… and now, we have discover who her killer is!

Hamasaki Hana/Okamoto Fuji/Inoue Sunako: <Ohta Hoshiko, the Ultimate Astrologist is the one! Now time to admit to your crime!>

CLIMAX RETURN CHAPTER 2 ENDED!

Inoue Sunako: So now we got that figure out… Ohta – you better remove your glove and show us the wound!

Ohta Hoshiko: …

Esumi Masa: I don’t think you have much to say so you better reveal yourself right now…

Ohta Hoshiko: Your pretty damn annoying, you know that but fine…

As then Ohta-san had removed her glove revealing the bandage left hand they had on which she shown us…

Kimura Tomoe: …Can we vote now?

Esumi Masa: Yes we can, then we can ask why she did all this…

Hamoponi: So it has been decided, very well – cast your votes and make sure you cast it on the correct person…

RESULTS:

Ohta Hoshiko – 14 votes

Kimura Tomoe – 1 vote

TRIAL CHAPTER 2 OVER, ALL RISE!

The Trial was over and of course everyone had voted however I notice… Kimura-san was still voted for which I was surprise that happen which I turn my attention towards the Pink hair singer who seem to be staring daggers at Ohta-san and one question came out. “So… you intended to kill me but why? I had nothing to do with this so why…” She asked which the Astrologist put her glove back on as she return to normal, she was silent…

“He-Hey, you better answer our questions! Why did you aim for Tomoe-san – I mean she was 5 years old and-!” “Revenge…” She spoke as Kobayashi-san was about to ask questions which Mori-san seem surprise. “Revenge?” She asked as repeating that word.

Which Ohta-san turn to her giving a sharp look. “Do I hear an echo, it was simply revenge – I wanted to get back at the very bitch that ruin my life so… I figure killing her daughter would make her understand the pain I felt for all those years but since she’s dead… well, I guess her daughter will not get my pain.” She stated with a small smile but looking at that smile… it was much more sinister-looking.

Which of course Kimura-san stepped back as her face went pale. “You… You just, you…” She try to utter the words out but couldn’t get a word in at all which then Inoue-chan seem angry as she spoke. “So that’s it, you wanted revenge? I’m… not sure how to feel towards someone like you.” She stated, clearly not happy with this which as then Ohta-san laughed.

“Well, it should be simply you see… after my parents had committed suicide; they left there child behind which was me which after that I was sent from foster home to foster home but no one wanted a child related to a scam so I was constantly tossed which… I wanted revenge against the women that ruin my life, maybe it might be why relationships are hard for me to handle but even then… I had no idea that our teacher was the very women I wanted revenge against and I discover she had a daughter so… I set my plan.” She explained her backstory to us which I was silent.

She… honestly didn’t care much of the results and clearly was so hateful and petty that she would aim for someone that had nothing to do with this… I couldn’t help but pity her but I felt even worse for Kimura-san who seem visibly shaken by this which then Masa-san which then she crosses her arms, clearly not impressed. “Which is why… you came to me about that paper, didn’t you?” She asked as the others look to Masa-san.

Our attention towards the journalist which Abiko-san seem surprise by this. “Wait, she… came to you?” She asked which Masa-san gave a nod. “Indeed, a few nights ago she came to me regarding this paper to get answers…” She stated which I then turn to Ohta-san who gave her a glare. “I…I wanted answers, I wanted to know about this but that bitch journalist… she just told me…” She paused as then she closes her eyes and spoke.

Ohta Hoshiko’s Flashback

I had recall going to the journalist about this, I mean it was written as ‘Esumi Papers’ and I know her name is ‘Esumi’ so I went to her but then she say the one thing I did not want to hear at all…

“I’m sorry but… my father wrote this if I had to guess, he did tell me the stories he wrote and even the writing is different from mine so it doesn’t have much to do with me so maybe… move on?”

Move… on… she told me to move on? She say I should move on! I couldn’t accept that, I wouldn’t accept that so… I decided to plan for my revenge, my revenge against the women that ruin my life…

Back to present

I had look at the 2, clearly that Ohta-san was not happy with her answer but even then Masa-san spoke how it is… she had not not much to do with it either, so… which then Hana-san spoke up. “Is that why you made Masa-san’s journal there? To make us suspect her…” She asked, clearly bother by this which of course Ohta-san chuckled. “Well as say, yes I did – that women wouldn’t give my answers I desire so… I wanted her gone but seems you lot figure it out but it doesn’t matter because...” She spoke clearly her resent was back towards Kimura-san who stepped back.

“My target is still alive!”

She yelled as she rush over towards Kimura-san as then she began to strangle her. “Kimura-san! Hey let go of her!” I yelled as I rush over as trying to pull Ohta-san off but instead I got punch off by Ohta-san as she kept going. “Get the hell away from me, this is between me and this bitch! I want her dead, dead dead dead! I don’t care! Her family ruin me and now she’s here!” She barked.

Kobayashi-san seem really shaken up as trying to pull off the women but clearly it seems there was no way he was going to get her off. “Hey, stop that! I get our angry but this isn’t the way to go about it, can’t we just-!” As then Masa-san rush as she took out a pen and then with all her might she.

Stabbed it right through, causing the Astrologist to move away as holding the hand that was injured as then Masa-san eyed at Kita-san which she rush over as grabbing his rifle. “Wa-Wait, you can’t just-!” It seems Masa-san didn’t care she had her aim on the Astrologist which then suddenly…

BANG!

A loud gunshot was made which it seems Ohta-san was shot right in the head which as then the shot was all it took to make the Astrologist to move back as then she topple over which everyone stepped back. “KYAAAAAH!!!” Mori-san yelled as then screams came to be however the one that didn’t scream was Kimura-san who look to be cover in blood with a scared expression which then I rush over to Masa-san.

“Ma-Masa-san?! What… What did you do? Wh-Why did you?” I asked which then Masa-san spoke which then she continues. “Because she was a danger to us, a person like her would of killed Tomoe-san so I did it to protect her along with the rest of you…” She spoke as giving the gun back to Kita-san who was silent as keeping a grip on it – clearly, he knew that this person had some experience with shooting as then she spoke as turning her attention to Hamoponi.

Something was on her mind as then she spoke up. “So then, just so were clear on this – you mention that this newspaper wasn’t suppose to be discover, correct? She asked as Hamoponi went silent but then sigh. “It wasn’t, in fact I intended to hide it from you…” He stated which she nodded. “I see, then… this isn’t supposed to be a killing game, correct?” She asked which Hamoponi nodded. “Indeed, my creator intended to make it be the case but seems someone might have set up our culprit to kill…” He told her which then one final question came to be.

“Then… is this person your creator or is it that Ultimate Thief that is suppose to be in our class, correct?” She asked which then Hamoponi went silent, clearly he didn’t want to answer which he disappear.

“He-Hey! You can’t just leave like that!” Norman-san spoke up as clearly shaken by what transpired buy even then Masa-san nodded. “So, seems that Hamoponi won’t answer questions related to that Ulitmate Thief which then… seems we got ourselves a mysteries now come on, we better head off…” She spoke as she left but one thing was clear…

Masa-san was someone that I couldn’t help but be scared of…

Esumi Masa, Ultimate Journalist FTE – 3/5

After the trial was over, we… all left the class trial, Hayashi-san pick up Ohta-san’s body as she carry it out which then she look to us. “I’ll… bury her but the rest of you, please try and rest while we sort this out.” She spoke however as she was about to Hamoponi pop up. “Don’t worry, I’ll be sure to take care of it so leave the body to me since the next area will have a place where you can put her to rest…” He spoke which Ryoko-san was silent then nodded.

“I see… very well, lead the way.” She stated as the 2 left which Kita-san cross his arms. “I’ll… help them as well so excuse me.” He stated as leaving too but it seems Mori-san wanted to say something but stop herself as she look to Kimura-san who was still shaken up. “Um… Tomoe-chan, I’m… I’m really sorry this happen, I just…” As then Kimura-san then rush upstairs as she headed to bedroom which she slammed the door.

As then Kobayashi-san sighed as he walk upstairs. “I’ll… talk with her, so excuse me.” He stated as he took his leave which thus remained myself, Hana-san, Inoue-chan, Mori-san, Norman-san, Katou-san, Nakahara-san and Abiko-san which all were silent as then Abiko-san spoke up.

“I… I guess we have quite a bit to discuss tomorrow then, correct?” He asked which Nakahara-san nodded. “Indeed – but still, it’s what Masa-san had asked about Hamoponi… about an Ultimate Thief and the fact that the newspaper wasn’t suppose to be seen then… was Hamoponi trying to prevent this or… did someone place it for Ohta to see.” He pointed out which Norman-san nodded. “I mean, he did seem surprise we had it so I take it was suppose to be remove then… is someone planning these murders?” He ponders.

It was then Katou-san spoke. “Then… whoever this person is might be against Hamoponi’s creator, meaning someone is setting us up to kill each other then…” He stated which Hana-san gave a sad nod. “Then… we got to find this person.” She stated as she turn to us with a determined look.

“I think it be best to see who it is then,…” She spoke up as Inoue-chan nodded. “Yeah I… don’t want anymore people to die, but I… really tired right now, can we … talk about this tomorrow?” She asked which we look to each other with a nod.

It was then decided… will figure out who might be setting up to have us kill each other…

Chapter 2 - The Beauty of Survive – END

Remaining Survivors: 13

#Danganronpa Every After 2 #DR: EA2 #Dangan Fangan #Fuji Okamoto #hana hamasaki #Sunako Inoue #miwa mori #ryoko hayashi #Masa Esumi #Hoshiko Ohta #Eito Kobayashi #Jobon Kita #Norman Hanlon #Rai Nakahara #Benjiro Abiko #Doi Katou #Hamoponi

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taekemeaway · 5 years ago

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info: kim seokjin/reader, teen, college au genre: fluff, romance, soft angst | word ct: 5k warnings: mentions of past self harm and suicidal thoughts summary: she was a force of nature, one determined to teach seokjin a thing or two about living. whether he liked it or not.

note: the song that i reference at the end of the fic is spanish sahara by foals

There was nothing unusual about Kim Seokjin, he was perfectly normal. He woke up every morning at the same time. He always read the paper while he ate a well-balanced breakfast. He was never late to class. Everything was routine, everything had its place. That’s how he liked it, that’s how he wanted it to stay. He had plans to marry someone his parents approved of, buy a house with a yard, have two kids, maybe a dog, and be perfectly happy. And that’s what made him perhaps the most ordinary person anyone had ever met and would ever meet.

So why, of all people, did she change everything?

He met her at the very beginning of the semester when she took the seat next to him, and he slowly learned that she was his exact opposite in every way thinkable. While he prided himself in his perfect attendance, she would often barrel into class 15 to 20 minutes late, usually hungover. During a lecture nothing could tear his steely eyed focus away from the professor, and she would most likely be asleep next to him. He studied endlessly to ace every exam, she counted herself lucky if she got a C-. They didn’t speak much, or ever, but Seokjin slowly developed feelings for her regardless.

There was everything unusual about her, and that’s probably why he found himself so attracted to the enigma sitting next to him. They never spoke, so Seokjin was always curious what caused the bags under her eyes. Wondered to himself why she needed to sleep through class. What did she do with her life? Where did she go? Why is it that whenever she walked by, he was suddenly reminded of car rides and warm summers? Why did her smile radiate with a warmth he didn’t just see, he could feel tingling on his skin? These were thoughts that often tumbled through his overactive mind, more often than he cared to admit.

Despite his obvious and crippling attraction, he never pursued her. For the duration of the spring semester, Seokjin admired her from afar, but that was the extent of their relationship. If one could call it that. He had to think about his grades, his internship, the blood drive he was volunteering for, he didn’t have time for a relationship. Platonic or otherwise. She was just a thought, nothing more, a wistful dream for someone less ambitious than he was.

How unfortunate it was for him that he was completely ordinary, and she was extraordinary. You don’t will a tornado away, the tornado will do whatever it pleases. And so would she, as Seokjin would soon find out.

“Hey.”

No response.

“Hey.”

Still no response.

“Hey, Earth to Kim Seokjin.”

Finally, Seokjin tore himself away from his notes long enough to acknowledge whoever was talking to him. He was almost stunned to learn that it wasn’t one of his classmates asking for help with their homework, or a student he tutored on the weekend, but it was her. Her, of all people. She was standing right in front of him, her arms crossed over her middle and playful smirk teasing her lips. He opened his mouth to respond and found that he couldn’t. He was absolutely tongue-tied and all she said was hello.

“It is Jin, right?” She asked, quirking a brow at him. “We sit next to each other in Advanced Chem?”

Clearing his throat, he nodded. “Y-yes. That’s me, can I—can I help you with something?”

She pursed her lips briefly before cracking a smile. “No, not quite. But I can help you.”

“Wait—what?” Seokjin hesitated in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

The grin that twitched at her lips was both frightening and exciting. “I’m talking about teaching you some real life lessons. Learning about what’s important in life.”

“I already know what’s important.” He rebutted, trying to ignore how beautiful she was by rambling. “Good grades, great job, happy life.”

Sighing, she shook her head. “It’s sad because you honestly think that’s true. You need more help than I realized.”

Seokjin still had a hard time comprehending anything coming out of her mouth. “Can you rewind for half a second? Maybe slow down a little, add some detail, at least to start.”

She put her hands on her hips and laughed. “We’re going on an adventure, Kim Seokjin. Whether you like it or not.”

“Wait—we’re what?” Seokjin exasperated in disbelief. “You’re joking, right? We don’t even know each other, not to mention that I have class later!”

“I’m going to teach you that there’s more to life than grades and hoity toity professors.” She grinned. “C’mon, Jin, it’ll be fun. What’s a little bit of fun gonna hurt?”

He honestly couldn’t believe what she was saying. “What would it hurt? My perfect attendance record, for one. There’s an extra bonus in my Abnormal Psych class, less than three absences and you get an extra five points on the final exam!”

“And how many classes have you missed so far?” She challenged.

Feeling a light blush dust across his cheeks, he cast his glance elsewhere. “N-none. But that doesn’t mean I can just skip whenever I feel like! I might miss something important!”

Without warning, she grabbed his textbook and started backing away from the table, a mischievous smirk on her face. “That’s it, you need this more than I thought. So if you ever want to see your precious book ever again, you’ll follow me.”

“Wha—” Seokjin stammered, gathering up all his things as quickly as he could. “What do you think you’re doing!”

She was already halfway to the doors. “I already told you, I’m going to show you that there’s more to life than studying and exams, a whole lot more. And, you might not believe it, but you’re going to have a ton of fun doing it!”

Chewing on his lower lip, Seokjin weighed his options. He could simply ignore her, go back to studying for his English exam, pretend like she didn’t exist and get another textbook later. That way he’d make it to class without much of a fuss. The rational part of him liked that idea, he didn’t need to skip class to indulge some classmate he barely knew.

The other option, the one that he didn’t want to think about, was that he could follow her. He could hear her out, let her teach him these so called “lessons” and have his first absence in Abnormal Psych. Why did he even consider that option? Why was the mere thought of finally getting a glimpse into her mysterious world so enticing? The rational part of him screamed in defiance, he couldn’t skip class, that was absurd. But he’d already made up his mind whether he liked it or not.

“Hey, wait up!” He called after her, slinging his bag over his shoulder and jogging towards the exit.

She was still there, a smug grin toying at her lips. “See? Now was that so hard?”

“Just a little.” He muttered. “Where are you taking me, anyway?”

“That’s part of the adventure.” She snickered playfully. “But—I would go change, if I were you. We might be getting a little messy.”

Seokjin looked down at his blazer and his slacks. “So—what should I wear?”

“Jeans?” She offered. “T-shirt? You do know what those are, right?”

A deep blush creeped across his cheeks. “Of course I do… doesn’t mean that I own any, though.”

Looking at him in disbelief, a honest laugh bubbled past her lips. “Alright, let’s head to my car then. Two birds, one stone. My ex left a duffel full of clothes in my trunk. They’ll probably fit you.”

“Are they clean?” He asked, only slightly disgusted.

Still laughing, she beckoned him to follow. “That’s part of the adventure, the allure of the unknown.”

“I don’t think I like the sound of this adventure of yours.” He muttered underneath his breath.

“It’s our big adventure, Jin.” She grinned back at him. “And you’re going to love it.”

As she stepped out into the hallway, Seokjin did his best to ignore how much he loved those words coming out of her mouth. He quietly followed after her, trying to hide the fact that he was blushing like crazy. She was honestly a whirlwind, one he’d been watching from afar for who knows how long. The second she decided it was time to intervene in his life, he knew that nothing would be the same.

“So, Kim Seokjin.” She started with a smile. “Is this really the first time you’ve ever skipped class?”

He nodded proudly. “Of course! I’m at the top of my class and I’d like to keep it that way.”

“You do realize that skipping one class isn’t going to tank your GPA, right? It won’t even put a dent in it.” She teased. “What do you do when you’re sick?”

“I come to class anyway.” He explained hesitantly, he had never realized how ridiculous he sounded. “I mean—what if I miss something? I don’t want to get behind.”

“I’m going to bet,” She began as they exited the building, “that you’ve read every single textbook you own at least five times. You’ve probably got each syllabus tattooed right on your ass. There’s no way that you’d ever miss out on anything.”

Seokjin’s mouth fluttered open and shut in embarrassment. “I—I resent that!”

“So it’s true! I knew it!” She laughed. “Damn, Jin, you need to get out more often!”

“I’m planning to graduate with honors.” He tried to defend himself. “I need to do well so I can get into a good graduate school.”

Pulling out her cars keys, she stifled a chuckle. “You’ve already hit the doing well aspect right on the head. You’re just basically beating your poor 4.0 GPA like a dead horse at this point.”

“4.2…” He grumbled.

She rolled her eyes. “See? What’d I tell you? You’ve more than earned a day off, you got to live a little!”

“I mean—” He hesitated. “I guess—I guess one day won’t kill me.”

“That’s the spirit, Jin.” She patted him on the back, coming to a stop at the bed of a rusted old pickup truck. “And, who knows, maybe you’ll even like living a little dangerously.”

“D-dangerous?” Seokjin stammered. “What exactly are you dragging me into!”

She cast a devious wink in his direction before pulling the duffel from the back of the pickup. “Wouldn’t you like to know, Mr Perfect Attendance 4.2 GPA Kim Seokjin. Now hurry up and put something on to make you look a little bit less like a librarian.”

Seokjin never imagined that he would be intimidated by a bag of clothes, but as it was dropped at his feet he swallowed nervously. Carefully, he kneeled down and unzipped it, raising his nose at the aroma wafting from its contents. As she chuckled at his expense, he very gently pilfered through the bag. Eventually he settled for whatever looked cleanest, a pair of jeans and a standard black t-shirt. Disappearing behind her truck, he pulled on the new clothes and honestly felt— surprisingly comfy.

“Here’s some shoes too.” She instructed, handing him a battered old pair of converse once he was done. “Don’t want to get your rich kid kicks dirty.”

Eyeing his loafers, he pointed to the sneakers with a disgusted grimace. “That’s not sanitary.”

“Sanitary is overrated.” She rolled her eyes. “Just put them on, you’ll be fine I promise. My ex didn’t have anything contagious anyway.”

Just when this couldn’t get any worse.

With trepidation he toed off his shoes and pulled on the second-hand converse, doing his best not to think about whoever had worn them before. After tying them tight he stood up and dusted off his new clothes, fully expecting her to laugh at his odd appearance. Never, in all his life, did he imagine himself wearing something so—casual.

“You’re a whole new man today, Jin.” She whistled. “Gotta say, relaxed looks good on you.”

Blushing, he stuffed his hands in his pockets. “Yeah, whatever you say. Are we going to get going, or what?”

“What’s your rush?” She asked honestly, throwing Jin’s clothes and their bags into the cab. “You do realize half of the fun of an adventure is the journey, not the destination?”

“You got that from a fortune cookie.” Seokjin smirked.

Her jaw dropped at his sassy remark. “Damn, Jin. New threads, new man! I’m kind of digging this!”

“Shut up.” He muttered, opening the passenger side door and slipping inside. “Let’s just get this over with.”

Snickering, she got behind the wheel and put the keys in the ignition. “I’ve never met someone who was this desperate to get away from me. Besides my exes, of course.”

Trying to ignore the fact that the truck wasn’t starting, Seokjin eyed her suspiciously. “Do you take a lot of people on adventures?”

“Usually I only take friends, but being friends with me is an adventure of its own right.” She smiled easily. “You’re sort of the exception this time around, Jin. You’re a special case.”

“Well don’t I feel special.” He muttered, drowned out by the revving of the engine.

“So, Kim Seokjin.” She started with her arm resting out the window. “Where’s the one place in the whole world you’ve always wanted to go?”

Seokjin sort of eyed her in confusion. “I thought I didn’t have a say in this little endeavor of yours?”

Chuckling, she hooked up her phone to the aux cord and searched for a song. “If that was really the case, wouldn’t this just be a repeat of some college class? Wouldn’t that make me some dictator professor? Where you have no say in the what you learn, in what you do, just blindly following along. Doing as you’re told, when you’re told to do it, always at the mercy of someone else? I’m not that cruel. The adventure isn’t optional, but it’s up to you where we go.”

He was honestly caught off guard, not just by his sudden power over the situation, but also by how real her words were. Never, in all his days, did he think of school like that. He knew that he had a set of rules to follow, be on time, do your work, study long and hard, do well on the test. That was the formula he had followed for years. Never once did he question it. Never once did he bother to ask himself what he wanted to do. He had become accustomed to being a mindless sheep, and he didn’t like that realization one bit.

“The beach.” He stated plainly. “I want to go to the beach.”

Smirking, she threw the truck in gear. “Not a bad choice. The beach it is!”

The smile that creased his face as he watched the wind toss her hair in every direction was nothing short of blissful. For the first time in his life, there wasn’t a crushing weight on his shoulders. Due dates, study sessions, all of those things were put aside, forgotten, because they didn’t matter. Not for the moment at least. He was sure that the feeling would pass, that the pressure of excelling well past what was expected of him would come back with a vengeance. In light of that thought, he would enjoy it. He would enjoy this small freedom.

As they drove out of the city, Seokjin gazed out the window in amazement. he never left campus much, opting to stay in and cram rather than go out with friends. In all honesty, he couldn’t even remember the last time someone invited him out. He assumed, or at least he hoped, that everyone was just giving him the space he needed. He didn’t want to think about the possibility that his few friends had forgotten about him entirely.

“What’s your story anyway?” She asked suddenly. “Why are you such a busybody?”

He glanced at her, bewildered. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” She began to elaborate, “why do you put this stupid amount of pressure on yourself to be absolutely perfect? It can’t be because you get off on only getting three hours of sleep a night.”

Seokjin chuckled quietly. “No, not quite. I’ve wanted to be a doctor for as long as I can remember. That requires a certain degree of dedication.”

“Dedication I can understand.” She levelled with him, looking over her shoulder and signalling to turn. “But what you’ve got going on, it’s borderline obsession. You’ve got to realize that your behavior isn’t what one would call “healthy”, y’know?”

“I mean—” He started to explain himself. “I don’t really see anything wrong with it? I get good grades, what’s the big deal?”

A bitter laugh escaped her lips. “There’s your problem right there. You don’t know anything else besides your own little academic world. Even the most dedicated students I know, they still have something else going for them besides their grades. Maybe it’s just some cooking vlogs that they like to keep up with, but at least it’s something. What else do you do, Jin? Besides study and tutor and make flashcards all day?”

“I volunteer in my spare time.” He responded immediately. “It looks good for—for graduate school.”

“What else?” She instantly persisted. “What do you do that’s for you?”

“I—” He stammered, unable to think of anything. “I—I’m not sure…”

Running a hand through her hair, she sighed. “Are you starting to see what I’m getting at? You don’t do a single thing for yourself. Everything you do is for your precious future. After a while that starts to eat away at you, you need some sort of outlet before you lose your mind.”

“I—” He continued, slightly appalled. “I’ve never thought of it like that. I—I always thought that—that my grades were enough.”

“There’s more to life than tests and grades.” She reminded him. “I swear I’m not just talking out my ass.”

Swallowing nervously, Seokjin looked out the window. “So you’re saying to give up on all of that?”

“No way.” She responded with a shake of her head. “One, because I know that would be fucking impossible for you to completely reroute your brain. Two, I’ve got no business in telling you how to live your life. I’m just trying to open up your eyes a little, to show you what else is out there. What you choose to do with this information is completely up to you.”

He nodded in agreement, finally finding sense to her madness. It felt good to finally have some insight into this endeavor he found himself thrown into. The one thing he couldn’t quite wrap his head around, was why she cared so much? She was a force of nature, someone who lived by her own rules and did as she pleased. What was it about him that made her reach out? As nice as she seemed, it couldn’t have just been out of the kindness of her heart. It was a question he was determined to answer.

“What about you?” He suddenly asked as the sun began to set. “What’s your deal?”

She snickered into her hand. “Geez, took you long enough, I’ve been waiting for the last hour for you to ask. You don’t hide your thoughts very well, Jinnie.”

Blushing, he pressed his lips together. “Well—can you blame me? I have no idea what to think about you. You’re just some girl in my class who’s always late, always exhausted, and you’re always smiling like you’ve got a secret—”

“You’ve really been paying attention to me, huh?” She asked, clearly amused. “I didn’t realize I was so interesting.”

“Of course you did.” He rolled his eyes in embarrassment. “You enjoy stringing people along like this.”

“That’s what we’re calling it?” She quirked her brow at him. “I thought we were calling it our little adventure.”

Doing his best to ignore his rapidly increased heartrate, he cleared his throat. “Well—besides that. Seems like this is a regular occurrence for you.”

“Actually—” She hesitated, pursing her lips. “Would you be surprised to hear that it’s not?”

Jin’s jaw almost dropped. “Yeah, I would.”

She smirked at him. “Like I said, Jin, you’re a special case. Usually I’m on my own, driving to who knows where, trying to see as much as I’m able before I’m stuck working a job I can’t stand. Sometimes I bring a friend along, but those adventures are closer to road trips than anything else. This time I just thought that maybe you needed one of these adventures almost as much as I do.”

Wait—what? He thought, caught off guard by her painfully honest statement. What did she mean by that? “As much as I do”?

“Holy shit!” She suddenly exclaimed, reaching for the volume dial. “I absolutely love this song!”

Momentarily stunned, he simply watched as she turned up the music and leaned back in her seat. A carefree smile creased her face, and he could’ve sworn that she closed her eyes. Not wanting to think about it, he opted to do as she did, to just sit back and listen. It seemed like the best option, it would at least help distract him from his overactive mind.

So I walked into the haze And a million dirty ways Now I see you lying there Like a lie low losing air

Black rocks and shoreline sand Still dead summer I cannot bear And I wipe the sand off my arms The Spanish Sahara, the place that you’d wanna Leave the horror here

Forget the horror here Forget the horror here Leave it all down here It’s future rust and it’s future dust

Seokjin had never heard that song before in his life, and yet—somehow he knew that it captured who she was exactly. What little he knew about her was clearly etched deeply in those lyrics. She absorbed the music as she drove, lightly drumming her fingers on the steering wheel, humming quietly to herself. There was a sense of relaxation exuding off of her, but also of pure melancholy. Like hearing about her life hurt her more than she wanted to admit.

Now the waves, they drag you down Carry you to broken ground Now I find you in the sand Wipe you clean with dirty hands

So goddamn this boiling space The Spanish Sahara, the place that you’d wanna Leave the horror here

Forget the horror here Forget the horror here Leave it all down here It’s future rust and then it’s future dust

I’m the fury in your head I’m the fury in your bed I’m the ghost in the back of your head Cause I am—

Sneaking sparing glances at her, he watched as a stray tear streaked her face. Still smiling, she kept driving into the sunset, she kept driving away from whatever was still causing her such pain. And as much as he wanted to ask, he couldn’t bring himself to open his mouth. She needed something beyond words, something that Seokjin couldn’t give her. No matter how much he wanted to ease her suffering.

Choir of furies in your head

“Have you ever heard a song that just—”

Choir of furies in your bed

“Made you wonder—”

Choir of furies in your head

“What you were doing?”

Choir of furies in your bed

“And not only that, it—”

Choir of furies in your head

“Answered all of the questions—”

Choir of furies in your bed

“You couldn’t think to ask?”

I’m the ghost in the back of your head

While he tried not to, he couldn’t help but look at her in awe. She had just—opened up a part of herself to him and he couldn’t think of a solid reason why she would? Not only were they not really friends, they barely knew each other at all. And yet—he felt closer to her than anyone he could think of. Just some girl from his Advanced Chem class. Some strange girl who dragged him on an adventure that was already turning into the journey of a lifetime.

“Cat got your tongue?” She suddenly asked, tossing him a playful smirk. “You’ve been pretty quiet for a while now.”

“I just—” He stammered as he tried to drudge up an excuse. “I really liked the song.”

She flashed a brilliants grin. “It’s a good one, isn’t it?”

“Y-yeah.” He hesitated, offering a shaky smile. “It was really—”

“And here we are!” She interrupted, pointing out the windshield. “You wanted the beach, Kim Seokjin, and so you shall have it.”

Following her gesture, he saw the crashing waves illuminated by the dim light of the rapidly disappearing sun in the distance. Slowly, she pulled off on a bumpy side road, completely missing the WELCOME sign half a mile ahead. He had a brief moment where he thought to question her, but thought better of it. She seemed to know where she was going, and at this point Seokjin didn’t care where they were. He just wanted to be with her.

“This is my little secret path.” She informed him. “I come down here all the time.”

Nodding, he took hold of the grip handle. “Am I shocked that you have some dangerous way to get to the beach when there was a perfectly safe turn off just a few more feet down the road?”

An honest laugh bubbled past her lips. “By your tone I’m gonna guess no!”

Seokjin laughed alongside her, feeling surprisingly at ease despite their situation. Eventually the road evened out as it turned to sand and she eased off the gas. When they finally came to a stop and she put the truck in park, Seokjin quickly hopped out of the cab and landed softly in the sand. Then, he tugged off his shoes and tossed them into the back, wanting to enjoy the feeling of the sand sifting through his toes.

“Home sweet home.” She offered with a sigh. “There’s no place like it.”

As she pulled a blanket from the back and tossed it over her shoulder, they both started towards the water. Even with nightfall quickly approaching, Seokjin could still make out a handful of gulls resting atop the waves. As he ventured closer, he caught a faint scent of burning wood and roasted marshmallows. It reminded him of the times he used to visit the beach with his family, before math camp and summer internships took over his life.

“Let’s get a fire started, yeah?” She suggested. “It’s going to get real cold real quick if we’re not careful.”

“Good idea.” He smiled affectionately.

Tossing the blanket onto the ground, she looked at him with disbelief. “You seem different, Mr Kim Seokjin. Could it be my sporadic adventure is more therapeutic than you previously thought?”

“I plead the fifth.” He winked, turning and scouring the beach for driftwood.

Behind him, she laughed. “Holy crap! Who are you and what did you do with the stuck up nerd I kidnapped?”

“Stuck up?” He questioned in a hurt tone. “I think that’s a little harsh!”

“You were wearing a blazer with elbow pads!” She countered. “You are the most uppity nerd I have ever met in my entire life!”

As they continued to joke around, they gathered armfuls of wood for a fire. While she kneeled down beside the pile and began to arrange the pit, Seokjin went to find some kindling. Picking up stray twigs and old paper cups, he watched her from a distance. He couldn’t find the words to describe this woman who decided to intrude on his life and change everything forever. She was almost otherworldly, people like her just didn’t exist.

Even so, he still had reservations. He still wondered why? Why, of all people, did she pick him? There were other people just as absorbed in their studies as he was, what made him so special? Was it just proximity? Because he was closest? Or because she felt he needed it most? Whatever her reasons were, he was sure he wouldn’t be able to fathom them on his own. He’d have to ask her.

Returning with the kindling, he kneeled down beside her. “I assume you have a lighter?”

“Of course I do.” She smirked. “What did you think I was? An upstanding citizen or something?”

Rolling his eyes, he helped arrange the logs. “Now that is a thought that never once crossed my mind.”

Reaching for some more wood, his fingers grazed against her open palm. And just as he felt his heart skip a beat, he noticed something odd. A couple of pale pink lines were peeking out from the cuff of her shirt. Before he could fully register what they could possibly be from, she pulled her hand from his and tugged her sleeve down over her hand with a laugh.

“What’re you trying to do, Jin?” She teased him. “Hold my hand?”

“Would that be so bad?” He answered immediately without pausing to think.

For the first time, she was at the disadvantage. “S-Seokjin! What the holy hell happened to you!”

“I don’t really know.” He shrugged, a light pink blush dusting across his cheeks. “Maybe you have more power than you originally though.”

Laughing, she flicked her lighter and started the fire. “That must be it. It’s the only logical explanation.”

He glanced at her, a warmth emanating from him that he didn’t understand. She just—she made him feel so many different things all at once. And each time she smiled his way he could feel his brain slowly turning to mush. He had heard his friends talk about feeling something similar, but nothing Seokjin had previously seen came anywhere close to how he felt when he was with her.

“I—” He started, gathering the blanket and sitting on the edge of it. “I really—I want to thank you for dragging me out here tonight.”

Chuckling, she sat down beside him. “Remind me to give you back your textbook before I forget.”

Seokjin shrugged. “Honestly—you can keep it. I don’t really want it anymore.”

Her amusement slowly dissipated until a calm smile stood in its place. “You’ve really come a long way, Jin. And to think it only took you skipping class just once. You should’ve tried this a long time ago.”

“I wouldn’t have even dared if you hadn’t stolen my textbook.” He smirked. “If you don’t mind me asking, why did you?”

“Why did I steal your textbook?” She asked in confusion. “We’ve been over this, I had to get you into my truck somehow.”

He shook his head. “No, I know why you took my textbook, but why did you? Why did you seek me out? I’m no one special, just some guy you’ve been sitting next to all semester, nothing about that changed. So why pick me?”

“Well—” She chewed on her lip hesitantly. “Why not? You were obviously an easy mark.”

He lowered her a knowing look. “You’re going to have to try harder than that. I’ve kept quiet for most of the afternoon, but I’ve been paying attention. I know that you don’t do anything without a reason. I’m just having a hard time figuring out what that reason is.”

As she pulled her knees into her chest, she gazed into the flames. “Was I that obvious?”

“No, not really.” He returned. “I’m just observant is all. Every time you tried to convince me that my life could be so much more, it felt—it felt personal.”

A pained look briefly crossed her face. “I’ve got to hand it to you, Kim Seokjin, you really are a special case.”

Just as he opened his mouth to ask what she meant, she slowly rolled up her sleeves. Those pale pink lines he had noticed before, she had at least a dozen of them crawling halfway up her arm. Each one she etched into her skin in desperation, defeat, and despair. The sight alone was enough to break his heart.

“You might find this hard to believe,” She started in a whisper, “but I used to be just like you. Obsessed with grades, exams, studying, the whole nine yards. I used to stay up until all hours making flashcards, I would blow off my friends to call my professors. During my first year at university, I took enough college credits for me to have gotten an associate’s degree. One time I got a B+ on a Sociology paper and I didn’t leave my room for a week. What I did wasn’t healthy, but I didn’t figure that out until it was too late.”

Seokjin watched her as she gently thumbed the scars over her wrist, resisting the urge to reach out and comfort her. Learning the truth, the truth he had been so desperate to hear, it devastated him. He had never imagined that her story would be a direct reflection on his own. He didn’t realize that by looking at her, he could’ve easily been looking at his future. And that terrified him.

“Do you understand now why I’ve been so invested in this?” She chuckled weakly. “I just—I see you, and I see myself. I see myself back when I still thought that school was the most important thing in the whole world. When I truly believed that my future was going to be determined by a handful of numbers and letters, not by my own actions.

“Back then I—I didn’t have dreams. I had goals, I had milestones, maybe even aspirations, but not dreams. I realize now how much that was eating me up inside. There’s a huge difference between doing something because you want to, and doing something because you feel you have to. I couldn’t tell the two apart, not until it was almost too late.”

She paused a moment, tears welling up in her eyes. Unconsciously, he wrapped an arm around her, pulling her in close to him. For a moment, they didn’t move, they didn’t even speak, he just gazed into the flames as she sobbed freely into his chest. He thought about everything that she said, everything that she wanted to teach him, and everything that she shared with him. It was so impossible to think, but in just the few short hours that they knew each other, she had changed his life in ways he had never thought imaginable.

She set him free from chains he didn’t even know existed.

“I’m seriously hoping that I managed to teach you something today.” She laughed quietly, wiping away her tears.

Smiling, he naturally took her hands in his. “Don’t worry, you taught me plenty.”

#btsguild #seokjin #seokjin scenario #seokjin fanfic #taekemeaway #lex writes

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kimphelanteach · 5 years ago

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Module 1: Introduction and Literature Memories

Hi there!

My name is Kimberly and I am currently in my 5th year of teaching 8th grade English in Orange, CT. I went to Southern Connecticut State University and received my bachelors degree in secondary English education. I am currently enrolled in a masters program at UB (Professional Educator Development), and I'm almost done; just this class and one more next semester and I'll have completed my masters degree! I absolutely LOVE working with and teaching 8th graders and am in no rush to leave the classroom or move on from being a classroom teacher, but down the line, there is potential for me wanting to move up in the middle school/into high school levels. Eventually, I'd also LOVE to be an adjunct professor teaching an English elective course. I had quite a bit of experience working with higher education professionals and incoming college students during my undergrad, so I'd like to get back to that one day as I continue to teach.

My school is currently in the process of transitioning into a reader's workshop model, and we are starting our school visits, training, and some minor implementation next year, so this course couldn't come at a more opportune time for me. The other middle school English teachers and myself have been sharing ideas about building up our classroom libraries in order to be prepared for the reader's workshop model, so I'm looking forward to learning about a variety of young adult literature, different genres, and texts. I'm particularly interested in the dystopian assignments in this course because one of the units the 8th grade English teachers are interested in incorporating into our classrooms through reader's workshop is a dystopian unit. Also, I really love that genre of literature, so I think I'll enjoy that!

When I think back to my own experiences as a YA literacy learner, I actually hated for most of my middle and high school career (which is ironic because I’m now and English teacher). To be honest though, I don’t have many memories of reading in middle school. Truth be told, I don’t think there was a ton of reading assigned, and I don’t recall learning any reading strategies. I dreaded summer reading assignments and procrastinated as long as possible. I think that the summer I was required to read The Hatchet before entering 5th grade obliterated any ounce of interest in reading for me; I despised that book and still do to this day. There are 3 novels, however, that I do remember really enjoying in middle school, but mainly because these books were read to me (by the school librarian, Mrs. Conway), which I thoroughly enjoyed. I don’t recall any childhood memories of adults reading to me, so this was something I found myself really enjoying in middle school. Because of Winn Dixie and The Giver have had profound effects on me, and I distinctly remember really enjoying reading Matilda. Other than those novels, I have no memory of other books I may have read in middle school.

I feel I was a bit jipped in high school, too. I went to a private school and took average “college preparatory” classes, and although I am extremely thankful for the educational opportunities my parents were able to provide me by sending me to private school, I do not think a private school education is quite as good as certain public schools. If I were enrolled in “honors” English courses in high school, I may feel differently, because in those courses, students were assigned to read “the classics”. I was not. I was thankful for it then, not so much now. I do remember enjoying reading Romeo and Juliet in high school because I had an awesome teacher. She included readers theater in her classroom, read with funny/engaging voices, and really made the play come to life. It was not until much later in my high school career and into college where my love of reading came about, specifically for young adult literature. I think I love teaching middle school so much because, in part, I feel like I’m getting a “redo” and I eat up the young adult literature books that I have available for my students. I have the privilege of teaching classics like To Kill a Mockingbird and Of Mice and Men and am also able to allow students a lot of choice in other reading units; we have a pretty expansive book room filled with contemporary novels and continue to expand it every year.

I can’t wait to learn about more books that I can bring into my middle school classroom!

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jlappel19 · 5 years ago

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Prior to COVID-19

It’s almost hard now to imagine a time before COVID-19. I can’t believe that a month ago around this time, I was so upset about having to go back to work after our winter break. I was stressed out about returning to my less than perfectly behaved class and having to dedicate the next few weeks to test prep. I was so bitter and was so determined to job hunt for next year so I would not have to go back to the environment I was dealing with, which seemed to treat kids only as number who passed or didn’t pass. I was (and still am) dealing with an ear infection that was causing pain I had never experienced before. I was feeling very overwhelmed by the negatives in my life, and boy, was my perspective about to change.

Since I had this crazy ear infection, I was in and out of doctors since February and the shift in medical environment changed substantially every time I went in. More signs were posted every time I went in, I was consistently being asked if I had a fever or if I had been out of the country and people seemed more skeptic about being in the office. The last time I went in, everyone in the office had to be six feet apart and both doctors who I saw that day assured me that everything was clean and told me not to be afraid to seek medical attention going forward. One of them was utterly outraged by the fact that people were being turned away if their condition wasn’t serious enough. I wonder what her thoughts are now on everything going on. I will find out after my CT scan 4/9 I guess (if I am still allowed to get on then.

My last week of work before we closed feels like it lasted 3 years. At the beginning of the week, we were told we would not be closing unless COVID-19 was in the school and to stick to test prep schedules and enter data as if the world wouldn’t turn if we didn’t put it in. Wednesday strolls around and staff members are outraged that we’re all at risk by being in school still, but no sign of closure. I decided to educate my students about the COVID-19 that day and give them time to ask questions and one of my main goals was for them to know that no one was the blame for this virus. Trump broadcasts to the country that night at China and Europe are to blame and the virus is bad. By Thursday, I had 11 students in class. By that afternoon, we were being told make emergency packets in preparation for school closings. By Friday at 1 pm where I still only had 11 kids, we were told school would be closed until March 30th. That night, I went out that night to dinner with friends where I was also sent the new testing schedule. At this point I was like this school does not understand what the fuck is happening.

So let’s skip back to Wednesday that week where I told my coworker that this was the ultimate uncuffing season. Who the fuck would even think about kissing a boy let alone shaking hands with one in a time like this? What does my idiotic self do Friday night? Well, after dinner we went to an uncrowded bar (as permitted by the CDC) to have some post dinner drinks. Some sir decides to buy us tequila shots, so I decided to buy myself a corona to stick my tequila shot in (yes I am weird, get over it ) While, I am waiting, I see this boy sitting alone at the bar and I cannot stop staring at his side profile. He’s on his phone and his sipping on something on the rocks. Normally, unless I have enough tequila in me, there is NO way I am brave enough to make a move on a guy who is hotter than me. The rejection would literally plummet my already low self confidence so I just never do it unless I think I won’t remember the next morning. But there is something about this guy I can’t shake, so I decide to tell my friend. She offers to go over and wing woman, but having been in a relationship for 4 years, quickly realizes she has zero game. Thankfully, my roommate still has plenty of game despite her 4 year relationship, and goes over to figure out the situation. She comes back to me and lets me know he is indeed very cute, single, a liberal (politics is a huge box for me) and wants me to go over. K, fine I’m only 24 years old I can do this? Holy shit, when I say I could swim in this sir’s blue eyes and melt into his smile, there is no exaggeration. Turns out this handsome man is a 30 year old guy from Iowa, definitely not what anyone or myself I would ever think I would consider. Turns out we have many similar interests and amazing chemistry. Like making out with his perfectly scruffed face was definitely the best make out in quite sometime. At one point, he stops while we are talking and tells me “Ya know, when you smile, your eyes squint in such a way that is truly unique and adorable.” OKAY SIR, I HAVE ONLY BEEN INSECURE ABOUT SQUINTY EYES SINCE 1ST GRADE WHEN MY IDIOT FRIENDS MADE FUN OF MY FOR THEM FOR YEARS. Oh and he hates country music and has the hebrew world timshel tattooed on his arm. I don’t believe in soulmates by any means, but if there were soulmates, I don’t know if anyone could top this guy. As badly as I wanted go home with him that night and see what else our chemistry had in store, my unwaxed legs and bikini stopped me. His way with words carried me through the week through texts until we dangerously decided to have a date at his apartment since at this point we were shelter in place. The night consisted of red wine, saved by the bell, some good loving, and very open conversation and communication. Again, I asked myself, where the fuck did this guy come from and how does he stay? Naturally, we haven’t been talking as much since that night, but I don’t believe as of now it has anything to do with me. (maybe it does but my gut feeling tells me I am not seeing the last of this boy) if not, this can be called “the one who got quarantined”

The anxiety and fears that have come with COVID-19 causes people to not think rationally. I myself, have been more emotional since all of this has happened. And I have “no reason” to be upset. I am healthy, I am able to continue work through remote teaching, I have a car so I can safely travel to get necessities, I live in a city that hasn’t been hit too hard COVID-19 cases and plenty of space to do solitary exercise while practicing social distancing, my roommate is one of my best friends and I am grateful we have each other during this time, my family hasn’t ben affected my the virus yet.

But humans get emotional, as much as I hate it because I have my emotions. I don’t like dealing with them and often times coping with them causes a lot fo self deprivation and I am humiliated with how I feel. But I cannot continue to break down in tears and not cope. So, I will be using this space to write about my feelings and emotions about anything I need to reflect on during this COVID-19 outbreak.

Let’s see where this goes.

#covid19 #emotions #personal

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prorevenge · 6 years ago

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Refuse to teach all males in the class? We'll see what the Department of Education has to say about it.

I'd like to preface this lengthy story by saying that this is in no way an anti-feminism story, an MRA tale, or anything of the sort. I'm a proud feminist who was just trying to graduate from my crappy high school and was having extreme difficulties with a particular teacher and an uncaring principal/faculty. TL;DR at the end.

Back in 2008, I was in Year 11 (Australian, second last year of high school). My high school had a reputation for being abysmal and faculty would more often than not brush aside any problems students were facing. Enter the Crazy Teacher (from now on referred to as CT). CT taught a Multimedia class I enrolled in, and this was the first year they had done this class as it was a TAFE equivalency course they were trialling (sort of like a community college course you could take during high school, earning a certificate at the end). These courses are not graded, but pass or fail.

CT started off fine for a few weeks. Then the rants started. They would last the full hour of the class as she yelled and yelled about almost anything - our perceived laziness, our idiocy, the powerlessness of the principal to do anything. This, obviously, severely impacted our work as we couldn't focus while CT was screaming at the top of her lungs. Several students voiced concerns to deputies, the principal, student services etc. all to no avail.

One day, CT announced that because the male students were taking up all her time with questions, she would no longer be teaching us, instead only focussing on the female students. This was an elective course, and there were 2/3 male students to a 1/3 female students in the class. At first I thought CT was joking, but it became abundantly clear that they were seriously not going to teach 2/3 of the class, while ranting and raving every time we had them.

Eventually, I had had enough. I recorded one of her hour-long rants, in it's entirety, on my old Nokia slide phone. I vividly remember that in it, CT said that "the principal has no power in this classroom, GOD himself could come down from heaven and he wouldn't be able to stop me!". Bingo. The next day, I took this to the principal and demanded a meeting with them and the Vice Deputy. I showed them the recording, albeit a mere snippet of the ~60 minutes. After a moment, the principal asked if I knew that I could be suspended for using my phone in class and recording someone without their permission. I was told to delete the recording on my phone immediately or face disciplinary action. I deleted the recording as asked, and the principal and deputy thought that would be the end of it but oh boy were they wrong.

While I'd never been one to stick up for myself, I decided it was now or never. I told the principal that I was disgusted by the audacity they displayed to threaten me with disciplinary action over showing them proof that there was a problem with CT. I told them truthfully that I had made copies of the recording and would release them to every major news and radio station unless something was done about this situation. They didn't believe me and again threatened me with suspension. At that moment, I realised what I had to do, so I pretended to drop it and claimed that I would continue my classes without complaint.

That night, I wrote a very detailed letter to the Department of Education wherein I recounted as much as I could remember about CT and their ridiculous rants. I explained the lengths I had gone to to have this resolved within the school, and the response I was met with. I put the copy of the recording onto a thumb drive with the letter and sent it to the DOE. Weeks went by without a response, and with everything I was dealing with at school, I had almost forgotten about it. CT would not show up for some classes, sometimes CT would kick us out for no reason and then scream at us for leaving - it was a nightmare.

3 weeks later, I received a response from the Department of Education. In the letter, they apologised for the mistreatment I had suffered at the hands of teacher and principal alike and explained that they would be conducting an audit of the ENTIRE school - literally every single staff member there would be audited with no stone left unturned. They thanked me for bringing this to their attention, and assured me that no disciplinary action would be taken against me for recording the rant that I had supplied them with.

Soon, the entire school found out what I had done. Most of the teachers absolutely loathed me after that point, one going so far as to say that "you should have kept your mouth shut and your head down". I guess the audit was seen as an inconvenience to them, but what is a small inconvenience against the education, and possible graduation, of around 15 kids? We just wanted to learn and were discriminated against for no reason, with no help offered from within the school. Even some of the students in that class with me thought I'd gone too far, but I couldn't care less about their opinions, I knew what I did was right.

Eventually, CT left on her own accord, literally stomping out of class and driving away mid-lesson, never to be seen again. I heard she got a really nice job at a private school not far away, so I guess she got lucky. I graduated the next year, with the principal remarking as she handed over my certificate during the graduation ceremony "I can't believe you made it". Not in an encouraging "good for you" way, mind you, but in a "I tried so hard to stop this from happening" kind of way.

This was 10 years ago and it still boils my blood thinking about it but I learnt a valuable lesson - if you can't fight the system, make the system work in your favour. I hope this encourages any students who are facing similar issues to speak up and demand that they receive the education they deserve.

TL;DR: Teacher refuses to teach all males in the class . Principal refuses to do anything, threatens disciplinary action. I send recording and letter to Department of Education, who conduct an audit of the entire school.

(source) (story by chitonya)

#prorevenge #by chitonya #pro revenge #revenge stories #pro revenge stories #pro #revenge #revenge story #last10

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quickienewyork · 6 years ago

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Thirteen Forever

“What would you like to talk about?”

The woman sitting across from Alice reminded her of a hippo with glasses on, and she had no desire to talk to her. She shrugged and shook her head instead of responding.

“I know this must all be a lot for you to handle, which of course is why you’re here with me. But I’m not a doctor, and I’m not your parents. You can tell me anything you like, even if they’re not nice things.”

“What is there to talk about? The doctors say I’ll look like this forever. Or close enough. At least I’m pretty.”

The woman nodded as she pushed her glasses down over her face and scribbled some notes on the paper. Great, she thinks I’m a narcissist now, Alice thought. It had been nearly a month of tests, blood work, and analysis before the doctors diagnosed her with the rare genetic disease that had halted her physical aging process just in the middle of puberty. But now that they had shared their conclusions with the family, Alice had a problem that she needed to work out. She went from an ordinary, albeit small, sixteen-year-old girl, to a sick child who required someone to talk to. It was useless bullshit, and there was no point to it. And besides, she knew she was pretty. After that rumor started freshman year, they never stopped, and Alice the Slut was the center of just as many crushes as she was jokes.

“What do you want me to say? I’m sixteen, and I look a little younger. It’s not a big deal right now. Ask me when I’m forty.”

“Are you worried about getting older?”

Alice shook her head and looked at her watch. They had thirty minutes left, and she could handle that. After the MRIs the CT scans, the overnights in the hospital, and the hundreds of needles shoved into her arm, her ass, and her legs, she could handle a half hour with a nosy hippo And she meant what she said. So what if her body had stayed behind at thirteen and so what if she was going to look like that until she died from some unforeseen complication? At least she had a hint of breasts even if they were small. Why the hell did everyone have to make such a big deal about it? It was, after all, her issue and not theirs.

On the ride home, Alice was silent but tense as she braced for whatever the hell her father would say. He was typically quieter than her mother, but he had opinions, especially about what was happening to her. He was somehow under the impression that it was happening to the whole family, which was the biggest load of shit imaginable. It was happening to her, and she still didn’t see what the big deal was. So what if she looked young forever?

“How did it go?”

“Fine.”

“Alice, come on. Give me something more than that. You’ve been great during this whole ordeal, but you can’t keep it all bottled up inside of you. You’ll drive yourself crazy, not to mention your mother.��

“We talked. I worked it all out, and everything is fine now. She says I don’t have to go back because I’m so well adjusted and there’s nothing left for her to do.”

“Why did I ever teach you to talk?” he said, his favorite expression sounding oddly comforting.

“Look, it’s fine now. And when I’m in college and then have a real job, I’ll have to deal with the fact that no one but teenagers will want me and I’ll be alone for the rest of my life unless I want to go jail for sleeping with a high school student like Mr. Jacobs.”

They stared out the front window, her dad’s response hanging in the silence waiting to burst at any moment. It was raining and cold, but not so bad that the road was icy. She knew she was brooding, but she had a pretty damn good right to do it. It was her life that had just been fucked up, and besides, they were old and didn’t understand. Also, they wouldn’t have to live with it. They’d probably be dead by the time she was forty, so what did it matter? Of course, she might be too, but that was another thing altogether.

“Men are still going to want you,” he finally said, breaking the silence with the worst possible thing he could have said.

“Thanks, dad. I feel much better now.”

“That’s not what I mean. Look, I don’t know how to explain it, but some things are going to be hard in different ways than you expect. And I didn’t say boys. I said men are going to want you.”

“Yeah, I’ve read Lolita,” she said, sticking her tongue out at him. Alice didn’t understand why they had to talk about it at all, especially now that the tests were done, the hospitals stay over, and all the poking and prodding hopefully finished for good. They knew the answer, they knew what was wrong, so what else mattered?

“You’ll be fine,” her father said before they pulled into their driveway. Her friends were all back at school doing normal things, and her mom was most likely at work trying to save the world. All of them were doing what they were supposed to do, except for Alice who just wanted to go back to class so she could graduate and get the hell out of Connecticut once and for all. Not that school would be much better than the hospital, but at least she could pretend to be normal. She had another couple of years at best when it wouldn’t matter, and she intended to enjoy them. So what if she was small, and so what if her tits would never get any bigger? She was young, she was smart, and for what it was worth, she was fucking cute too.

Once she was back up in her room, she picked up the phone and called the closest thing she had to a boyfriend. He was a year older than her, more into books than sports, and liked to make out her with at parties when everyone else was getting drunk. They had known each other forever, and he had been the only one to visit her at the hospital. When she had told him the diagnosis he shrugged like it didn’t matter and for a few moments, Alice thought she might be in love.

“I survived the shrink,” she said when she heard his voice on the other end of the phone. “I told her I was worried about getting older, that I was afraid no one would ever love me, and that I hadn’t even once thought about hurting myself or anyone else.”

“And she bought it?” Marco asked.

“Hook, line, and sinker. At least I think so. She’s still worried about me, but honestly, if you saw her, you’d think she’d mostly be jealous. Who doesn’t want to look like a hot young thing? I’ll be all the rage at office Christmas parties someday. I can play the elf.”

“I don’t even think you look that young. I mean you have bigger tits than some of the other girls in your grade and who even cares about that? Besides, you put out, so what does it matter?”

“Yeah, Alice the Slut can do whatever the hell she wants. So, do you want to come over later and pretend I’m still in eighth grade? Come on; I’ll let you feel me up. But just over the shirt.”

“Nice, we can hide in a closet, and I’ll show you mine if you show me yours. It’ll be fucking adorable until the cops come and take me away.”

“Oh fuck you. I’m only a year younger than you.”

“Tell that to the fuzz!”

“Okay, I’m going to hang up and go pretend to be normal for a while. But I’ll be back at school tomorrow, and you better be nice to me because everyone else is going to be horrible. If they even remember that I left.”

“They’ll be fine. They missed their slut.”

“Fuck you again. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Alice hung up the phone and lay back on her bed looking up at the pink canopy that still hung from the four pillars of the old frame. It was ridiculous for a sixteen-year-old, but she didn’t care. If she was going to look like a kid, then she might as well act like one. And besides, it wasn’t anyone else’s business what she did, how she dressed, or who she blew under the bleachers.

And it definitely wasn’t her parents’.

-gny

(From my latest novel, Portraits of Alice)

#books #indie authors #novel #fiction

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katelandtownley · 6 years ago

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Palau Ramblings

A text I sent to some friends while on my first EM elective in Palau:

Last night we had a patient arrive by ambulance, which is usually announced ahead of time, 2-15 minutes, but with minimal information. This was "old woman", RUQ pain. She rolled in, looking fine, VSS, RUQ pain is super minimal, labs are benign. I would have discharged her, but they admitted her to surgery. We are warned 2nd ambulance is on it's way, ambulance driver sounded hurried, we know MVC, young man with abrasions. The end. No one here has ever had ATLS training. Anyone who looks remotely unstable when they arrive, I go through my own survey and make sure they are stable before I leave the room. I'm technically low on the totem pole, but way more knowledgeable about trauma (which is laughable, I know *nothing*). This young man is a 20 y/o, unrestrained driver of head-on collision, both cars travelling approximately 50 mph. EMS states car was totaled, windshield smashed to bits. He's in a c-collar and on a back board. Primary survey is good. GCS 15. He gets on the monitor and his vitals are pretty good, tachy but satting well, BP appropriately elevated for the situation. Literally no* one cares about the ABCs. I don't even think they'd know what I mean if I was to ask about them. And I don't have an ultrasound readily available. He's complaining of chest pain on the L but breath sounds are good, it's not reproducible, no flail chest. He's complaining of R LE pain, which looks mildly deformed but I doubt it's a complete tib-fib fracture because he's not in enough distress and it's not that deformed, neurovascularly intact. I ask for a CXR, IV, 4 of morphine (it's either that or demerol, I usually get rolled eyes when I ask for morphine because the nurses think it's from the devil...but demerol is OK??), RLE XR. While waiting we roll him, no problems, we clear his c-spine (nexus negative, I wish I would have spoken that out loud to them, showed them the C-spine rule on my phone, they have no tools. I taught a doc about Pecarn the other day. Every time a kid falls and bonks it's head the parents come in and ask for an XR. Ha!). I haven't figured out how to teach and think carefully about sick patients yet. I'm usually internally feeling a lot of pressure to not screw things up, and I'm not good at sharing/asking questions/etc. It's something I want to work hard on when I get home because I think it's important for how we interact with medical students, new nurses, younger residents. This is my first takeaway from this experience.

I did not look in his ears because there was not an otoscope in the room. I wish I would have gone and found the small one we have in a drawer, but I forgot before he went to CT. No battle sign, no peri-orbital ecchymosis. 2 cm laceration that's currently hemostatic to his scalp above his L eyebrow. It was previously bleeding all over so he's covered in blood. No neck/chest wall tenderness, abdomen is soft/nt, no extremity injuries other than the RLE and minor abrasions. He's covered in blood on his R thigh when we expose him, but after a thorough exam, it's not his. Obviously the crew is not used to people examining the perineum or meatus because I get sideways looks, ha! He's neurologically intact.

CXR is unremarkable, no obvious rib fractures, no pneumo/hemothorax (what I was worried about, but he's supine, but there's no deep sulcus). RLE XR sig for mildly displaced fib fracture only. The CT is occupied, so I throw in a couple sutures to his head lac (which they shave every time before I get a chance to tell them no to! haha). I found out in the meantime, because I see people whispering across the room, that the girl that was with him, 19 y/o F, was DOA. Massive facial/cranial trauma. This young man doesn't know, but he asks about Sarah every 5 minutes. I tell him I don't know because I want to talk with someone about the situation and try to be sensitive to the culture if there's something there that I am unaware of. He finally rolls back to CT and the tech just gets his head (which of all things, I'm least worried about really). I tell him I want a pan-scan, and he thinks I'm crazy. I tell him the other person in the car died and it was a serious mechanism, so please just do it. At the end of the day, even though we scanned his neck and chest, I didn't really get to see them because the tech saved them wrong or didn't upload them? I only got to see them on the initial scan as he was going through the machine. I could scan through abdomen/pelvis, but we don't/can't use contrast here, so that' frustrating when trying to examine for liver or spleen injury. When they were finally up, all views excepts transverse were pixelated and worthless. So I couldn't look through his ribs carefully in an easy way, but the part of his chest I could see was that he had a pulmonary contusion on the L. This brings me to my second major learning point of the night. I think I have taken for granted how nice it is to have [good] radiologists in house. I don't spend enough time looking at my patient's imaging and really learning. Last night, I was *the most qualified person* in the hospital to review a red trauma's incomplete pan-scan. I can get an official read back from the Philippines in 3 days). At the time it was terrifying, but it was more terrifying when I woke up thinking about it this morning. I *have* to get really good at reading imaging if I want to keep practicing in these weird environments (which I do). I *have* to be an excellent clinician, because what if I didn't have a CT at all to reassure me? I think I knew from my exam what his major (really, pretty minor) injuries were, but it's comforting at home to know that someone is following me with more exams, imaging, image interpretation. We are so lucky.

Lastly, this mildly displaced fibular fracture needed to be reduced, and I did not feel confident enough to do it. There's not a single ortho person on this island. I was very tempted to just try it with some valium and morphine, but I didn't. I don't know what the right decision was. He's going to follow up with outpatient clinic and I hope get an off-island referral (usually Taiwan), but this is a 20 y/o healthy man, going to college, and I just didn't know the right decision to make for him to be the least screwed up in the long run (do something I have a vague idea about but have not done before for fibula, or hope he gets off island to an orthopod). This causes me a lot of anxiety! My third big learning point, I am going to ask to be a part of all reductions when I'm in the department. Tell my seniors that if there's a reduction to tell me so I can watch. This can set us apart in low resource settings. I was glad I had my splint card they gave us at the beginning of orientation.

That's pretty much the longest message ever, but I kinda needed to type it out, and I could just leave it for no one to read, but of all the people in the world you're most likely to understand, and I'm always looking for kinship with my peers. So. There you go. Miss you guys!

December 1, 2018

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