#she’s just grown up mature lady luke and goodness knows he likes luke

[lazer-screwdriver]

Head in my hands I never shouldve watched Sarah Jane adventures I need Clyde and Jack banter immediately yesterday

[1dmonthlyficroundup]

1D Monthly Fic Roundup

Hi, and welcome to the 1D Monthly Fic Roundup for August 2021! Below you’ll find 23 One Direction fics that were all published this month in the order they were submitted to the blog. We hope you’ll check out these new fics! If you would like to submit your own fic, please check this post on how to submit or visit our blog @1dmonthlyficroundup​.

Happy reading!

He Carries The Key by @lululawrence

[Niall/Louis, OT5, 8k, Not Rated, tumblr post]

Niall was mostly home, ready for a shower and a chat with Louis, when suddenly Niall was flooded with emotions from the pack bond.Shock. Surprise. Confusion.But mostly fear.Something was wrong with Louis.

Plus One by mynameispiaivy / @missrefridgefreetorator

[Louis/Luke Malak, 3k, Mature, tumblr post]

Louis is invited to an event and he has to bring a "plus one".

Better Mistakes by lovelarry10 / @chloehl10

[Harry/Louis, 117k, Explicit, tumblr post]

“Look, this doesn’t have to be the end of the world-”

“Oh but it fucking is,” Louis said, shaking his head. “How the fuck am I going to tell Matt I’m pregnant with a baby when we’ve not had sex in months? He might be a bit thick sometimes, but he is gonna know there’s no chance this baby is his.”

“You don’t have to, uh, tell him it’s mine, right?”

Louis scoffed. “Why, are you scared he’s gonna come and kick the shit out of you?”

“He wishes,” Harry laughed, looking back down at the test. “Shit, I … I can’t believe this. Louis, I didn’t mean for this. Honestly. It was just sex for me. We have great sex, and I didn’t see why I should have to turn that down, not when you clearly wanted it as much as I did. I didn’t want this to end in a baby.”

Louis knows he shouldn’t be sleeping with his boyfriend’s enemy. He knows that. But there’s something that draws him back to Harry over and over again. Falling in love wasn’t part of the plan...

Thou, Sun, Art Half As Happy by @lululawrence

[Louis/Harry/Nick Grimshaw, 7k, Not Rated, tumblr post]

Hello, I’m sorry if this isn’t a post that is allowed on this channel, but I was hoping for the best since it is regarding a photography project I’m working on at the moment. I’m working on a set of sunrise kiss photos and therefore am needing a willing kissing partner. I’d hoped to be able to provide one for myself, but it hasn’t panned out, so here I am! I was hoping to find someone here, since I know most of you (at least peripherally) and can generally vouch for you not being creeps. Plus this way I know you will understand needing to continue to tweak the camera settings and reshoots etc that others might not.

Anyway, I’m looking for someone who identifies as male or male-ish (sorry, ladies) who is between the ages of 18 and 40. I’m a 29 year old male-ish myself, for those who would like to know before replying.

If you’re interested and are free the early morning of August 7th and would like to kiss in the sunrise with me for the sake of some (hopefully) interesting and fun photos, let me know via DM and I’ll give you the location.

OR the one where Louis needs a kissing partner, two show up, and it all might turn out for the best that way.

call my name and save me from the dark by @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed / we_are_the_same

[Louis/Harry, 4k, Teen & Up, tumblr post]

“I don’t know if it was a nightmare,” he confesses to the ceiling, the darkness making it easier to speak up even when he still has to close his eyes to stop himself from tearing up. “It feels more like a memory. But it can’t be.”

Harry shifts, and Louis can feel his chin perched on his chest, doesn’t need to look at him to know that Harry’s studying him. “Why?” He prompts, when Louis doesn’t immediately continue, and Louis swallows, tries to shrug off the apprehension, the fear that Harry will think that he’s gone mad.

“Because I heard them pronounce me dead.”

Feels like home by @neondiamond

[Louis/Harry, 2k, Explicit, tumblr post]

Louis comes home from work with an exciting surprise. Daydreaming and celebrations ensue.

this is my jam by @disgruntledkittenface

[Harry/Louis, 4k, Mature, tumblr post]

The guy’s eyes are so blue that Harry can’t tear his gaze away, even as he moves to the beat. The searing light shade is magnetic; he finds himself leaning in and yelling, “This is my jam!” only to earn a laugh from thin pink lips that Harry’s definitely going to be dreaming about tonight.

“Your jam?”

When the guy yells back over the music, his blue eyes sparkling and his lips twisted in a smirk, Harry’s chest literally puffs out with pride at earning his attention. His obvious approval. Tongue-tied, Harry nods and closes his eyes as he lets go, the music reverberating around them. All of the usual inhibitions that keep him in the corner at parties fall away and he bounces around the center of the dance floor, waving his arms above his head. Somehow his towel stays on, even as he starts to think he wouldn’t mind if it fell off. Fuck it. He finally made it here, he’s damn well going to enjoy it.

Harry goes to a gay bathhouse for the first time. 90s AU.

I Know My Arithmedick (2 + 2 = 4sum) by yeah_alright / @uhoh-but-yeah-alright

[Harry/Louis + Louis/multiple partners, 3k, Explicit, tumblr post]

Harry wants to watch Louis fuck someone else. Louis loves giving Harry what he wants. It’s simple math, really.

doG…and his friend by @uhoh-but-yeah-alright / yeah_alright

[Louis/Harry, 3k, Teen & Up, tumblr post]

When Joan has to move out of her small, nice home and in with a random roommate, she obviously brings her dog/boyfriend, Doug, with her.

Doug makes a friend. And maybe more.

I Heard You Talking by @lululawrence

[Louis/Harry, 10k, Not Rated, tumblr post]

It had been an hour of their noise that Louis had been dealing with, and for some reason the fact that these grown men were being this rowdy in the quiet carriage over a game of Uno was the breaking point for him. He stood up and turned around, making his way down to where the group of five were somehow gathered around a table.

Louis stopped at the table and cleared his throat, mouth open and ready to politely request they keep it down when the man who was sitting with his back to Louis turned.

He was stunningly gorgeous.

Blinking a ridiculous number of times in an attempt to pull himself together, Louis coughed and spit out, “This is the quiet carriage.”

God, he was nearly forty and that was the best he could do in front of a set of pretty, green eyes?

Or the one where Harry is famous and Louis doesn't have a clue. Good thing his son is able to help him out.

All That You Need by @haztobegood

[Louis/Harry, 2k, Explicit, tumblr post]

Pre-heat was always one of Harry’s favorite times to spend with Louis. It was a time to rest up and indulge in extra cuddles, like basking in a ray of sunshine before having to dive off the deep end. Louis lavishes him with tender touches and soft kisses. Harry wants to savor this time as long as possible. The unquenchable need will come later, but for now, his desires are simple. He just needed to be closer to his alpha. As close as possible.

sickly sweet fonding by amomentoflove / @daggerandrose

[Louis/Harry, 1k, General, tumblr post]

A few members of their crew start piling up the dirty dishes and taking them over to the sink. Harry walks around the cameras, and smiles brightly at Louis.

“What do you think, Lou? Do I have it in the bag?”

Louis eyes a bowl of bright pink lumpy batter being cleaned from Harry’s side. “Of course you do.” He wraps an arm around Harry’s waist and steers him away, all while ignoring the dramatic gagging Niall is doing. He doesn’t think it’s just the batter making Niall gag.

or the one where Louis fonds over Harry's horrible baking skills

Fractured Moonlight by amomentoflove / @daggerandrose

[Louis/Harry, 1k, Mature, tumblr post]

Louis huffs because he doesn’t want to deal with this. “Listen, I appreciate your concern.” He doesn’t. “But it’s not your duty to look after the sad man at the bar. Okay?”

'Ere comes the milk by stretchmybones / @onlyfor-thegays

[Harry/Louis, 1k, Explicit]

Louis is obsessed with Harry's mommy milkers.

everything comes back to you by stretchmybones / @onlyfor-thegays

[Louis/Harry, 8k, Explicit]

Harry and Louis are childhood best friends. What happens when Harry has to move towns just as they are starting their secondary gender presentations? What happens when fate brings them back together years later in the most unexpected of ways?

He Still Takes My Breath Away by @parmahamlarrie

[Harry/Louis, 32k, Teen & Up, tumblr post]

Camp Infinity is the perfect place for a lot of things; hiking, swimming, sports, eating, and falling in love. Harry Styles is a bit too familiar with the last one from his years of being a camper. This year things will be different. He’s 21, a grown man now, and ready to see Camp Infinity from a different point of view; working as a lifeguard. However, his whole summer turns upside down when a familiar British lad makes his return into Harry's life.Or the one where Harry is a lifeguard and Louis is the head of recreation. And, sometimes, you just need a little push to realize what was right in front of you the whole time.

Also known as – The Summer Camp Fic

tread lightly on my ground by fairytalelights / @lookslikefairytale

[Louis/Harry, 20k, Explicit, tumblr post]

No, that's the tragic part of this, the part that makes Harry feel like the universe is playing a cruel joke on him. The father of his baby is exactly right, exactly who he always imagined himself having kids with. He just imagined them married, bonded. Happy. He didn't imagine them barely talking, tip-toeing around each other because neither of them is brave enough to talk about what happened between them. He didn't imagine the father of his child not loving him back.

or, the one where Harry is having Louis' baby, but Louis doesn't know it's his.

Getting a Head for Heights by @ladyaj-13 / LadyAJ_13

[Louis/Greg James, 3k, Teen & Up, tumblr post]

The problem is, Louis thinks Greg would be quite good to date, so it would really help if everyone would stop reminding him of that fact so he could unthink it. He’d be a gentleman, at least until Louis talked him out of it, and he’s funny and nice and hot and they’re both into music and football and drama. He’s also a freakish giant of a human, and the problem with dating is that sooner or later you have to stand next to each other.

We Go Together (series) by @beelou / cherrylarry

[Louis/Harry, 3k, General, tumblr post]

A grease au

Hot Boy Summer (series) by @louisandtheaquarian / zita17

[Harry/Louis, 35k, Teen & Up, tumblr post]

Louis is an overworked bartender hoping to save up enough extra tips to buy a new air conditioner before he literally melts during a scorching NYC heat wave. Harry is the new neighbor that wakes him up by moving in his sole day off at 6am. An NYC enemies to neighbors to lovers AU featuring a rickety fire escape, the 2021 Euros, Lirry bickering like a divorced couple, and enough OT5 clichés to rot your teeth. (If Harry's pastries don't get them first.)

across the river is where my heart is by 4ureyesonly28 / @evilovesyou

[Louis/Harry, 8k, General, tumblr post]

The first time they see each other is when they are toddlers, playing out in the yard. Louis remembers sitting on the perfectly trimmed lawn and getting yelled at for picking at the soft blades of grass; she remembers looking over, across the narrow but deep and wild river, and watching another little girl, out in a different garden, picking flowers for her mother.

She remembers carefully raising her hand and waving—her little heart beating hard in her chest, as if she had done something dangerous, something forbidden, even though back then she could not understand the true divide the River made amongst them.

bright eyes, blue denim by 4ureyesonly28 / @evilovesyou

[Louis/Harry, 2k, General, tumblr post]

Louis' favourite jeans have suddenly disappeared from where he always got them. Harry is a store manager with an affinity for customer care, particularly when the customer has bright blue eyes and happens to be very flirty.

whatever you feel like doing in this moment by 4ureyesonly28 / @evilovesyou

[Harry/Louis, 2k, General, tumblr post]

Louis gets all that he's ever wanted during his favourite game at their group's weekly improv show.

[libraryofloveletters]

Rating CM Couples Because I’m Bored

*I think I put everyone that I can remember in here but if I'm forgetting someone, let me know!*

A/N: these are in no specific order and yes I know you didn’t ask for this but too bad :) also spoilers are in there if you have’t seen the whole thing!

----

Aaron and Haley

The high school sweethearts storyline was cute 

Great parents 

I still think she was cheating, it was a little shady that her phone rang right after he got off the landline 

“Make sure he knows you weren’t always so serious” or whatever she said was sweet

Her death didn’t cause tears but seeing Hotch cry out her death did cause tears

Feel like her storyline could have ended better, they didn’t really need to kill her but they did it for the ✨razzle dazzle✨ 

Maybe they could have gotten a divorce and been great co-parents 

Overall: 8/10 (her dying was a shitty end) 

Gideon and Sarah (the lady from the cabin) 

Very short storyline

She made him happy 

The dance scene in the cabin in Fisher King pt.1 was adorable  

Would have like to seen more of her 

Overall: 10/10 (they were the least problematic couple)

JJ and Will 

Love them 

Will is non-problematic (stan him for clear skin) 

Their family is adorable 

He’s a great father (literally put his job on hold and moved states for her to continue her job after Henry) 

She could have definitely treated him better 

Could have included their other kid more, it’s always about Henry

Will is always about JJ, JJ tends to wander ? (the je*d situation) 

Overall: 7/10 (cause of the je*d situation and they could have made the storyline better) 

Spencer and Mauve 

Again, short and shitty storyline 

There was so much more that could have been done here (like maybe let him be happy for once??)

In suspense for the longest time about the secret phone calls and when Mauve was finally introduced, we got like 2 minutes of proper screen time with her 

Their little dance was cute 

Her death was absolute bullshit 

She tells Spencer that she loves him on the phone and he's in shock so he doesn't say it back, then she hangs up 

When he finally sees her in person, she’s minutes away from her death 

He had to tell her that he didn’t love her even thought he did (at least it seemed like he did) 

Bringing her back in season 15 was nice so we had some closure ?? (but why was she blonde ? they have hair salons in heaven ??)

Overall: 6/10 (hated the way it ended :( )

Derek and Savannah  

Savannah was the perfect woman for Derek. She’s smart, has a good job with a weird schedule (like his), not to mention gorgeous 

But making him settle down with the first woman he really showed interest in, didn't make sense 

If he had a previous relationship that didn’t work and then introduced Savannah, it would have made sense 

They were well suited, personality and looks wise 

Would have liked to seen their wedding  

He got married and we didn’t even get to see it :( 

The way their storyline ended was a mess ??

He gets kidnapped and when she gets him back, she gets shot and they almost lose the baby, then Morgan almost gets himself killed again and barely got back in time for the birth 

Overall: 8/10 (could have been better written but they were cute) 

Matt and Kristy 

Unproblematic favs 

King and Queen shit 

Great parents 

Love love love their storyline, from CMBB to CM, it was all around good 

They’re both hot and educated 

I don’t understand where they had make to make a 5th kid when he’s never home, she’s a lawyer (that has to be time consuming) and 4 children to take care of 

Their love as always on display, seen the rawest version of it in 13x19 

Overall: 10/10 (love them)

Penelope and Kevin 

The shower scene when Rossi went to her apartment was the peak scandalous moment for them 

Her wants and needs were too much for him to handle 

She was super independent and he wanted her to do what he wants in a way 

The whole marriage plot was dropped real quick 

He wanted a farm ?? (if I remember correctly) and she didn’t want that 

The end of their relationship was weird 

They had that moment at JJ and Will’s wedding and then that was it ?? He kinda just vanished after ? 

Overall: 5/10 (average couple)

Derek and Penelope 

Top tier 

Would have be a power couple if they got together (already a power couple but would have officially been one) 

The way they look at each other

The way the protect each other, especially him with her 

They’re in love you can’t tell me otherwise 

If they weren’t in love, why would he come back to the BAU and only see her ? 

They probably hooked up on the lows 

There was a lot of potential here

“You’re my god given solace” 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Overall: 10/10  (my favourites!!) 

Spencer and Derek 

Cute cute cute

That’s been there since day one

They always had a playful relationship but Derek was always protecting him, no matter what 

Although Spencer wasn't physically capable of defending, he still tried in his own way 

Their relationship has grown a lot since season 1 

“we’ll be bound together through space and time and some day, in another life, we will meet again” “I'll be waiting for you” like come on, in love. 

there was a lot of potential here too 

Overall: 9/10 (-1 cause it didn’t actually happen) 

Aaron and Emily 

Could definitely see the tension between them 

There was 100% chemistry there 

They both think alike, they’re very critical thinkers which for obvious reasons wouldn’t have works

Would have been cute tho 

In 4x03, you could see the worry on his face when she was inside. It was more than a boss/subordinate worry, he genuinely cares about her 

Overall: 7/10 (could have been better) 

JJ and Spencer 

Would have maybe made sense if they introduced it season 1-2

Didn’t make sense after she was married and had 2 kids 

The confession she gave him felt forced (under the circumstances, they were but still) 

The awkwardness after was weird, like you’re telling me the team and Will didn’t pick up on it at he wedding ?

Overall: -1/10 (je*d)

Tara and Daryl 

The moments they had were sweet afterwards like their hug 

They both had grown a lot since their marriage 

It was very mature of her to be happy for him after they split (she’s cool like that) 

Very short storyline 

Overall: 6/10 (they were very normal) 

JJ and Emily 

Elite 

Would have a power couple if the writers had actually put them together

should have confessed to Spencer that she loved Emily and not him 

All their moments were adorable 

Hot moms and Co parent Will (would have been so cute) 

Overall: 9/10 (power couple) 

Emily and Andrew 

Short storyline

Kinda pointless ? 

Felt super last minute and rushed 

Their dinner date was cute 

Overall: 5/10 (they were eh, could have been written better) 

Luke and Lisa 

They were cute

Again a very short storyline 

She was very determined to make Luke talk about his feelings (kinda pointless ?? he’d talk when he as ready) 

Should have called it quits after Phil died 

Wasn’t needed to drag it along, but they did and we didn’t even see her?? They just kept mentioning her 

Overall: 6/10 (average couple) 

Luke and Penelope 

Adorable 

Would have loved to see this storyline start earlier 

Maybe get to see the date ?? 

Their little flirting/bantering was cute 

There was definitely chemistry there 

Overall: 8/10 (super cute)

Spencer and Max 

This felt so rushed 

She was there for 2 episodes 

Dragging her into the Cat plot was shit 

It was nice to see him happy tho 

Would have liked to seen her nephew again, he was funny 

Overall: 5/10 (didn't really like this) 

Aaron and Beth 

This was cute 

They made each other happy 

She was good with Jack 

Understanding about his job (unlike miss haley 🙄)

Would have to seen this go somewhere else 

Her taking the job in Hong Kong was just a shitty end for their relationship 

Overall: 7/10 (could have ended better, at least she didn’t die) 

Rossi and Carolyn 

This was sweet 

Her death was sad, it was clear he still cared about her 

She was only there for like 2-3 (??) episodes

Overall: 6/10 (unproblematic but normal) 

Rossi and Hayden 

This was also cute 

Joy was the only good thing from this marriage ?? 

Them dating for like half a minute was weird 

Making Rossi say that racist ass comment after he was literally married to beautiful woman of colour was stupid 

Overall: 6/10 (average couple) 

Rossi and Krystall 

Loved them together 

Their little sneaky links were hilarious 

Miss Krystall is a bad bitch 

She’s super supportive 

Overall: 8/10 (my favourites out of Rossi’s wives) 

Rossi and Strauss

Hilarious together, it was cute

Rossi was always on her ass, he did what he wanted 

Her death was kinda shitty, Rossi cared about her tho 

Reid and Garcia bumping into him and then seeing her was funny 

Overall: 6/10 (ended badly)

[mtgc858]

Some more train ocs but this time with actual trains,I will make here human forms soon and there info is for both there engines and human forms.

Jimmy-6771

Age: 25

Gender: Male/Him/He

Jimmy is a big strong canadian engine that works were Edward works at,He grown rivalry with Gordon and Spencer despite him not knowing,Jimmy is a softie who enjoys making friends and seeing children,He is good friends with Henry and backs him up when being picked on from being scared about certain things,Jimmy also is a soft spoken,kind,low headed,Gentile sweetie who gets a intimating poster from his huge size.

He love music,singing and anything with instruments,His favorite instrument is a violin and in my H.E.AU he loves playing it when it's raining and to cheer up the other engines,He is a little gullible and is very apologetic plus he sometimes falls prey to Diesel and Arry and Bert's tricks in which they make fun of him for it,Thankfully him playing the Violin calms him and makes him feel better and the fact that the children and younger engines enjoy his music and would join along.

Rick-300

Age: 35

Gender: Male/Him/He

Rick is a western engine who works near the one side of Sodor were Oliver,Toad and Duck work at,He is a strict,Mature,warm headed,Hard working kind of fellow who wants to get the job done and will try to get it done no matter how long it takes,He enjoys taking his time and enjoying the view but will stay focused on his task and to make the S.T.H proud,He had some tough moment's with James and hates being called a wannabe for his color being similar to James.

He love the countryside and misses his old home and friends but is happy to meet his new ones Duck and Oliver,He is fine with getting dirty and enjoys the dust and hardwork cause it reminds him of his old home,He enjoys Jimmy's music and would play a bango he brought from his home and would play along with Jimmy,Rick is willing to put himself in harm's way to protect his friends or anyone even if they hurt him emotionally or physically.

Joey-PT

Age: 21

Gender: Male/He/They

Joey is a different kind of engine who works with passengers on the mainland,He is a Funny,Cheeky,Goofy kind of engine who loves telling story's and jokeing around,He does take his job seriously however and wants to make sure all his passengers are doing alright,He enjoys talking to older engines and learning from there examples and loves telling them his stories and his future adventures.

Joey is completely fine with the Clay twins and had even giggled at there jokes before,He does get serious when things are going too far or if someone is hurt and is willing to help if needed,He likes talking to Thomas,Edward and Percy sence there nice to talk to and he enjoys there company and tasks,He is easy to forgive and is fine with being looked down on by bigger engines.

Quicks-8494

Age: 30

Gender: Female/She/Her/They/Them

Quicks is a southern half engine half diesel who works along side Nerville and the other diesels,She is a big mature tough lady who is a huge mother figure to some smaller diesels and even engines,She can fend for herself and isn't afraid to fight back if she is in danger,She has strong muscles and is has been working out with her arms and legs to be a hard-worker,She can step in when other engines are being bullied or treated like garbage and can fill in a there mother figure when they need one,She is a good cook who makes great cake and cinnamon rolls and is happy to share them with the others.

Puffin-6

Age: 19

Gender: Female/She/Her

Puffin is a australian medium side engine who works at the Narrow Gruge,She is a kind,helpful,cheerful kind of gal who has the problem of being distracted in which makes it slightly harder for her to work and needs help and reminders to stay focused,She is good friends with the narrow gruge engines and is very good friends with Mighty Mac,Luke,Rusty and Duncan.

She has a crush on Duncan but isn't sure if he will feel the same way if she confessed and wanted to get a little closer for her to take a shot,She would get mistaken by some new engines or by children that she is related to the scottish twins in which she laughs it off saying that she couldn't be cause of her old home town and that she isn't scottish,She likes visiting the engines around the island and meeting new friends and engines.

Jet & Rocket

Age: 25

Gender: Male/He/Him/They/Them

Jet and Rocket are both british twin engines who work near the fast lane,They enjoy racing echother and picking on echother,They love to mess with the other engines and Diesels and they even can get under the Clay twins skins and they like picking on them for there size and speed,Jet is just slightly faster than Rocket but they are very close in speed and looks,When not working they race along they tracks passing the other engines giggling that they are faster and they even challange the Clay twins with a races in which they make sure that Bill and Ben aren't playing tricks on them so it's fair and square.

They had times were they became too hyper and just a big mess were they nearly or did crash when they weren't paying attention or accidently bumped into echother or another engine,Jet is the more cocky one and loves talking about his speed,work etc while Rocket is the more respectable one who is willing to calm his behavior if he is bothering another engine or Diesel,Jet dislikes Diesels and even picked of BoCo before but Rocket would stepped in and put his twin in place

Beatrice-741633

Age: 18

Gender: Female/She/Her/They/Them

Beatrice is a american oil engine and who works near the scrapyard,Her job is to transport Oil to difficult locations and is usually covered in oil and is often dirty,She is a shy,kind engine who can stand up for herself or other engines but can start stuttering and would get nervous,She enjoys Nervilles company and has a small crush on him cause there so similar,She would often hide her face in her hoodie when she's being nervous or when she's flustered,She is being shipped with Evan my other oc in another au and they are so adorable.

She enjoys painting and using dark colors to draw and color,Her favorite type of drawings are ink and water color drawings,She is nervous when around Arry and Bert and is very scared that she will be scrapped despite her working along with them,She would often rush away when they are near in which they like to mess with her and make her even more nervous and scared(God dang-it you jerks,Leave my girl alone >:(),She is a sweet bean and must be protected at all costs

They must be protected >:]

@swiftstar01

@asktrio516

@aprellerozu

@diesel10-of-ethereal

@chuchuboi33

@just-an-oliver-simp-existing

@robotic-railway-machines

[jlalafics]

“I loved you first”-an Everlark fic

This prompt was requested by @b-boop5. Thanks love!

5. “Wait a minute. Are you jealous?”

Summary: There are divorced couples. Then, there are Katniss and Peeta Mellark.

I loved you first

Johanna Mason looked around the high school field, lined with rows of plastic chairs. In front of her stood two middle-aged women, dressed in their ceremony best, looking over the crowd gathering for the graduation.

“I didn’t have a chance to look over my program, but who is the Valedictorian?” one woman asked.

“It’s the Mellark girl—Adeline,” the other woman responded. “She’s heading to Stanford this Fall, you know.”

“I’m not really familiar with her…I don’t think that she and Katie really hang out.”

“Oh—everyone knows about the Mellarks.” Johanna moved in closer, grimacing at the woman’s overwhelming floral perfume. “Adeline’s parents were practically teenagers when they had her. They stay together long enough to have Adeline’s younger brother before getting divorced.”

“So, they’re what? In their thirties?”

“About that. Katniss, her mother, barely looks like she’s hitting her thirties. She owns that cute little boutique downtown.”

“And, the Dad?”

“Oh God—Peeta Mellark. A delicious specimen of a man. He’s the CEO of Mellark Bakery; his family started it from a small, mom-and-pop bakery and he turned it into a franchise. Now, they’re all over the country.”

Johanna was suddenly blinded as two hands covered her eyes. She smelled the faint scent of sugar and watercolor paints.

“You’re messing up my makeup, Luke,” she warned.

Whirling around, Johanna beamed at a gangly blond, grinning at her.

“Aunt Johanna!” Luke wrapped his arms around her. “You came!”

“Of course.” She embraced her nephew tightly. “Where’s your mother?”

“Her and Dad are heading down,” Luke informed her. “They’re deciding which restaurant to go to for Grandma’s birthday next weekend.”

“There they are,” the gossiping woman suddenly said. “Peeta and Katniss Mellark. The perfect exes.”

“Are you sure? They looked like they’re still into each other.”

Luke and Johanna locked eyes; the young boy rolling his at the two women being not-so-discreet.

“They’ve been that way for years. Every PTA meeting or school event, they’re together and usually talking amongst themselves, his arm around her shoulders and her leaning against him, just like now—here they come!”

“Johanna!” Katniss pulled away from her ex to rush into the woman’s arms. “I’m so glad you came!”

“I wouldn’t miss AJ’s graduation for anything,” Johanna replied. “And, how is my favorite ex-cousin doing?” She looked to the man talking to her nephew. “Hey, asshole.”

Peeta grinned at her. “Hello to you too, Johanna.”

“How are you enjoying Panem so far?” Katniss asked her.

Johanna looked to the shocked women, both red with embarrassment. She gave them a wink.

“It’s been illuminating.”

++++++

“Apparently, you and Peeta, are the ‘It’ couple when it comes to divorces,” Johanna informed the two as they found their seats.

“Are we?” Katniss looked to her ex-husband with a smile. “Did you hear that, Peeta? We’re the cool divorcees.”

Peeta snorted. “Don’t these people have anything else to talk about?” He sat next to Katniss, giving Luke the aisle seat so he could take pictures of his sister walking down towards the stage. His arm snaked over to the back of Katniss’ chair. “Sometimes I forget how small it is here.”

“Well, you two are freakishly close,” Johanna pointed out. “Probably more than most married couples.”

“It’s kinda true, parents,” Luke added as he played with the lens of his camera. “My friends are always surprised when I tell them you’re divorced.”

“Why are your friends so nosy, teenager?” Peeta asked.

“Because their parents ask.” Luke turned to them. “It’s not like I mind. I don’t really remember when you were together, but if it was the opposite of this, then I’m glad you’re divorced.”

“That’s very mature of you, sweetheart,” Katniss told their son.

Peeta smiled fondly at his ex-wife. “We made some smart children.”

She returned the gesture, her eyes on the handsome man. “All from me.”

He leaned towards her ear. “I don’t doubt that.”

Katniss trembled; even after all these years, Peeta always knew how to make her come undone. They had known one another since they were children, had fallen deeply in love when they were juniors in high school, and Katniss was pregnant by graduation.

They had tried to make it work.

The birth of Adeline had brought them even closer and they loved their daughter with all their hearts. However, the extra responsibility had been a lot on the young parents who both juggled work and college part-time.

Katniss and Peeta’s parents had rallied to help the two. Their families helped take care of the adorable cherub that Adeline was while they went to school. On the weekends, Peeta was at the Mellark Bakery, learning how to manage his parents’ business. Katniss would be at their apartment, textbooks on the kitchen table and their daughter in her arms.

They both graduated with business degrees.

Katniss was pregnant with Luke during their college ceremony.

By Luke’s first birthday, Peeta and Katniss could see the cracks in their relationship. Peeta had been spending less time at home, trying to bring Mellark Bakery up the corporate chain. Katniss was unsure what she wanted to do and had little time to think about it as she raised their two children.

Also, they both had tempers.

As the children slept, they argued, going to bed angry. Sometimes, one or both would be in tears.

By the time Luke was two and Adeline six, they had agreed to a divorce.

Katniss and Peeta sat their families down and told them that they would be separating but amicably. Katniss would have the home that they had bought together, and it would be where the children would live. Peeta would move into an apartment nearby and would have them on the weekends.

Their main priorities were Adeline and Luke. They wanted their children to grow up in a loving, supportive environment.

It was hard in the beginning; they still loved one another…but something changed. Maybe they had become too different or they had just grown apart.

Whatever caused their breakup hurt like hell.

They continued to push forward; Katniss eventually decided to open her boutique, Primrose—named after her younger sister. Peeta became a silent partner, helping her purchase the space, but mostly staying out of the way as a gesture of goodwill towards his ex-wife.

Now, Katniss could say with confidence that Peeta was one of her best friends and vice-versa.

They had dinners together with the kids—sometimes without them. She would go to the Mellark Home for Thanksgiving and Peeta would attend the annual Christmas party at her parents’ house.

They went to every recital, sports event, and even spelling bee together. The kids never felt neglected—at least she hoped they didn’t—and both parents had great relationships with Adeline and Luke.

“It’s starting!” Luke called out. He put the viewer of his camera to his eye as the strains of ‘Pomp and Circumstance’ began.

The navy-clad graduates were led by Haymitch Abernathy—Senior Class advisor and teacher—who held the school banner as he walked down the aisle to cheers and camera flashes.

He was followed by the Senior Student Council, each with white stoles denoting their roles.

Then, wearing gold stoles, were the Valedictorian and Salutatorian.

Adeline beamed excitedly, her long dark waves moving with her, as she walked down the aisle. Next to her, Evan Odair smiled, his cheeks red and his eyes caught on Katniss and Peeta’s beautiful daughter.

Adeline spotted her parents, waving excitedly, and flashing a peace sign as Luke took her picture.

Katniss took a deep breath, trying to keep her tears at bay. Sometimes, she still saw the little girl who would beg her to play tea party with her every afternoon.

Now, that little girl was getting ready to take on the world—and she wouldn’t need her mother anymore.

Peeta put an arm around her, pulling her side against his.

“She’s always going to need us, Katniss,” he assured her.

Katniss turned to him. “How did you know what I was thinking?”

Peeta reached, wiping the stray tear off her cheek, and giving her a sad smile.

“Because I know us,” he told her. “We all grew up together—you, me, Luke, and Addie. And, we’re never going to stop needing each other.”

Katniss nodded and he pressed a kissed to her temple.

Next to the exes, Johanna rolled her eyes.

Brainless, the both of them.

++++++

“Now, I would like to call up our Valedictorian—” Voluminous applause rang through the crowd along with some shouts from the rowdier seniors. “—an ambitious young woman who, besides maintaining a 4.0 GPA and taking all available AP classes, is the president of our youth volunteer club, one of our most popular tutors and a peer mediator. From personal experience, it has been an honor to have someone to debate with in class—” The crowd laugh at his words. “Ladies and gentlemen, Adeline Jane Mellark.”

The crowd was riotous as Adeline stepped onto the stage. She was always popular, though she never had a particular crowd that she hung out with. She went to prom with Evan—as friends—though Katniss believed that the boy next door had always wanted more.

However, Adeline had always been a free spirit.

She admitted to Katniss that she didn’t want to be tied down to anyone since she would be leaving for school—despite the cuteness of Evan’s smile.

Adeline stepped up to the podium, beaming at the crowd.

“Good afternoon, faculty members, families, and senior class,” she began. “My name is Adeline Jane Mellark. Most of you know me as AJ or, if you’re my Dad, Addie. I am supposed to be up here trying to inspire and give you advice for what comes next. However, I don’t think I could give you any advice as I’m in the same boat as the rest of you. I don’t know what’s coming next.”

Katniss leaned forward; her eyes trained on her daughter. Peeta sat in rapt attention, his own stare on their daughter.

“I can tell you that, whenever I’m not sure what to do, I think of my parents. You see, my mom and dad had me right after they graduated high school. They had to navigate going to college along with raising a child and by the time they graduated college, my brother came along. When I think about it, we grew up together.” Adeline smiled to herself. “We learned together.”

She met Katniss’ eyes.

“My mom taught me to always focus on what I want, to never back down, to fight for what I believe in.”

Peeta reached for her hand, giving it a squeeze.

“My Dad—” She heard Peeta’s breath hitch. “—taught me that there is good in everyone; that sometimes to get back on track all you need to do is look at a sunset, and to always have hope.”

She grinned.

“Mom, Dad…I just wanted to say that I’m proud to be your daughter. That, because of you, I am not afraid of what comes next. You both taught me lessons that I’m going to carry with me my whole life—that no matter what happens, I’ll always have a place to just be me.”

Adeline looked at her classmates.

“We’re always going to have each other. So, when you’re feeling lost or scared, think back to this moment—this is our place to be us. This great moment of excitement…fear…of endings…and beginnings—life is full of them. Enjoy them. It has been an honor to be part of this graduating class and I wish you all the best of luck in whatever comes next. Thank you and congratulations!”

The crowd was up on their feet and, over the sea of people, Adeline met her parents’ identical teary gazes to blow them both a kiss.

++++++

“You must be so proud, Peeta,” the woman…Karen—he wasn’t sure what her name was—said. “Adeline is so accomplished.”

In return, Peeta gave the woman a conciliatory smile. “Katniss and I are very proud of her.”

Beside him, Finnick and Annie Odair stifled their laughter at her obvious flirting in the middle of his own daughter’s graduation reception. The couple had been friends with the Mellarks since they moved into the neighborhood.

“It’s going to be awfully lonely for you now that Adeline’s going to be moving away,” she simpered.

“Not really. Our son is just entering high school. Katniss and I are sure we’ll have our hands full.”

“Luke is definitely a spitfire,” Finnick said. “But a hell of an artist.”

“He’s going to the fine arts high school, correct?” The woman frowned. “Do you think that’s the right path? The artist route isn’t very lucrative.”

“Well, it’s a damn good thing that Peeta and I care more about our children’s happiness than the amount of money they’ll make.” Katniss joined his side and gave the woman a cool smile. “Clarissa, we’re so glad you could join us.”

“Thank you for having us.” The woman looked around the house. “You have a beautiful home.” Her eyes suddenly darted behind them. “If you’ll excuse me.”

She was gone in a second.

“Clarissa! That was her name!” Peeta snapped his fingers, turning to his ex-wife. “This whole time I thought it was Karen.”

Katniss chuckled. “Please don’t tell me you called her Karen.”

“Peeta couldn’t get a word in,” Annie explained. “The woman had her sights on becoming the new Mrs. Mellark.”

“Many have tried, all have failed,” Peeta said. “Anyway, I’m not looking.”

“Why not?” Katniss questioned. “I was just too perfect, wasn’t I?”

He flashed her a smile. “We all didn’t find a Gale Hawthorne, did we?”

Peeta tried not to cringe saying the man’s name. Katniss had been dating him casually for six months, but he could tell that the man was set on making things official.

“Where is Prince Charming, anyway?” Finnick asked, his disdain obvious. Their friend had always believed that he and Katniss would eventually reunite. According to him, they had too much fire to be just friendly exes.

“Probably somewhere polishing his crown,” Peeta replied with a short laugh.

The look on Katniss’ face quickly cut him off. She looked disappointed.

“Peeta, you’re better than that,” she admonished softly. “Excuse me.”

Katniss walked away, heading upstairs, and his heart sank seeing the slump in her shoulders.

“What the fuck was that?” Annie asked, looking between the men.

“Truthfully, I think Gale is a douche,” her husband admitted. “I don’t know what the hell Peeta was on about—” Finnick looked to the downhearted man. “Wait a minute. Are you jealous?”

Peeta glared. “Why would I be jealous?”

Finnick guffawed. “Because the man is probably pounding into your ex-wife who you’re still pining over.”

“Focus, you two!” Annie pushed Peeta forward. “You should probably talk to her.”

“I’m already on it.”

++++++

Katniss looked at herself in the bathroom mirror.

Why was she even upset about Peeta’s remark? It wasn’t like it was mean.

Truthfully, Gale was a little high on himself sometimes. He was successful, having his own real estate firm, and had taken her to some nice places.

While he didn’t make an effort to get to know Adeline or Luke, she hadn’t gone out of her way to encourage his involvement with her children either. They didn’t need another father figure.

Truthfully, Katniss kept him because he saw her as a woman—and not just a wife or mother.

There had been a point in her marriage to Peeta where they stopped seeing each other as people and started seeing one another as parents who just slept next to one another. It was hard to keep the romance alive when she always had a baby to her chest.

Their fights had been epic and an argument over which preschool Adeline would go to ended with a bout of angry sex against the doorway of their bedroom.

Then, she ended up pregnant with Luke.

One day, they looked wearily to one another and both realized it was over.

They had no fight in them left.

“Katniss?” Peeta stood at the bathroom doorway, guilt on his face. “You okay?”

Katniss turned to him, crossing her arms as she faced him. “I guess.”

“I didn’t mean it,” he told her.

“I just don’t want us to get to that point where we’re snipping at one another,” Katniss told him. She moved past him to walk into her bedroom and sat on her bed. “I hated that.”

Peeta joined her. “Me, too.” He sighed, giving her a doleful look. “I’m just not used to not being the number one man in your life.”

She knocked into his shoulder, a smile rising on her lips.

“Peeta…you know that Luke is number one.”

“I will concede to our son,” Peeta told her. “Addie is going out with her friends tonight and Luke is sleeping over at Christian’s house. They have a video game to conquer, apparently. Did you want to have dinner? Like a parents of the Valedictorian celebration? We can go to that Chinese place that we love—with the mu shu you like.”

Katniss gave him an apologetic smile.

“After the cleaning crew leaves, I’m having dinner with Gale tonight.”

Peeta nodded. “How about I stay while the crew cleans up and you two can go on your date earlier?”

She raised a brow. “You sure?”

He stood, holding out his hand. “Truce?”

Katniss took it, standing and giving him a hug, her nose pressing his shoulder. She always enjoyed his smell, that warm spiciness of his cologne. It was comforting yet it still made her heart skip a beat whenever it hit her nostrils.

“We better get downstairs,” she said into his shirt. “We have a speech to make.”

Peeta nodded, lifting her chin so he could look into her eyes. “We did it, Katniss.”

“What do you mean?”

They walked out of her bedroom and Katniss looped her arm through his as they headed down the hallway towards the stairs.

“Remember when she was first born? We were both so scared of screwing her up…but we didn’t,” he told her.

They descended the stairs, staring at one another.

“I remember. I was constantly snippy and wanting to call the doctor at every weird noise she made,” she replied. “And, you were always worried about dropping her or cursing in front of her!”

“I may have cursed once or twice. Much more around Luke—” Katniss snorted and he laughed. “Things get a little more relaxed with the second one!”

Katniss sighed. “True.” They stopped halfway down, and she turned to him. “I’m sorry if I ever took my parenting fears out on you. It probably contributed to a lot of our fights.”

Peeta shrugged. “I wasn’t there for you when you needed me. All those late nights at the office…”

“It’s all in the past now,” she interjected.

At the foot of the stairs, Adeline and Luke were talking to Evan and his parents. When she turned to look at them, their daughter hurried up the stairs with a bright smile on her face before wrapping her arms around her parents.

“Thanks, you two.” Adeline pulled away; her blue eyes glowing. “This is a great party and you did so much—”

“You deserve it,” Peeta told her tenderly.

“You’re our little girl,” Katniss said. “We always kind of knew we would be spoiling you!” Adeline giggled. “And, we are enormously proud. A bit braggy, too…”

“Aunt Johanna told me about those two women gossiping about you guys,” their daughter informed them quietly. “It makes sense, though. Their daughters are bitches.”

Peeta guffawed and Katniss raised a brow at their daughter’s words. That was thing about Adeline; she never pussyfooted. Like Katniss, she could be blunt when need be. However, she was naturally empathetic like Peeta.

“While I’d usually prefer that you didn’t curse, you’re eighteen so I can’t really stop you,” Katniss said.

“Thanks, Mom!” They made their way to the last three steps and Adeline went to a nearby server, who handed her two glasses of champagne. She walked over to them, handing them both a glass. “Good luck, you two.”

Stepping back, Adeline joined her brother and friend.

Katniss turned to Peeta, a nervous grin gracing her face. “Go on. You’re better with this than I am.”

He chuckled, leaning to kiss her cheek.

“You’re probably right.” She elbowed him, ignoring the heat rising on her face. “You’re really too easy to fluster.”

Peeta cleared his throat and Luke tapped the glass he was holding with a spoon to catch everyone’s attention.

“Thank you, Luke,” he told their son, who grinned back with a smile so much like his own. “Thank you all for attending this reception. Katniss and I would just like to say a few words about our daughter…”

++++++

“How did the graduation go?” Gale asked as he cut into his steak, his eyes focused on the slab of meat.

“It was wonderful,” Katniss replied. She reached for her fork to cut into her salmon. “I wish you could’ve come to the reception. You would’ve enjoyed it.”

“It’s not really my thing,” the man replied easily. “No one wants the boyfriend at the family party. Anyway, I already gave Adeline her graduation gift.”

Her daughter had smiled blankly as Gale handed her the two gift cards; one for Target for school supplies and the other one to get a full tank of gas for her Prius.

It wasn’t that her daughter was ungrateful; she admitted to Katniss that Gale seemed a little…cold towards her and Luke—as if he didn’t like them.

However, who wouldn’t adore Katniss’ children?

They were sweet and kind…

The man in front of her, however, looked a little overwhelmed whenever he was in their presence.

“Don’t you like your food?”

Katniss realized that she had yet to take a bite. She gave him a smile before putting a piece in her mouth.

“Delicious.” She swallowed before reaching for her wine glass. She definitely needed to discuss this issue about the children. “Listen—”

“I know what you’re going to say.” Gale placed his utensils down. “Now that Adeline is leaving for school, you’re looking into more time for us.” He gave her a tight smile. “It’s just that we’re getting into the summer and it’s our busiest time with parents trying to buy or rent places for their kids—”

“That wasn’t what I was going to talk to you about that,” she interrupted. “It’s that whenever you’re around my kids, you seem to be a little…aloof.”

Gale looked non-plussed. “I mean, they aren’t my kids. I don’t necessarily need to be obliged to care for them like I’m their father. They have one.”

“I know that and Peeta is a great one,” she explained. “But I thought we were serious in a sense where you’d want to get to know them.”

“Hmmm…maybe if we had our own child, I might have to open up to them.”

Katniss blanched—was she really dating this guy? This man who didn’t want to let her children into his life unless he saddled her with his own?

In that moment, Katniss saw a future where she would once again be changing diapers, waiting for a man who was never home.

Suddenly, she was standing up.

“You know what? I’m going to save you the trouble of having to open up to my children. Goodbye, Gale.”

She made her way toward the exit, but not before grabbing the bottle of wine she paid for from the ice bucket.

++++++

Stepping out of the taxi, Katniss looked up her home, comfort washing over her immediately.

This home was where she watched her children take their first steps…where she’d wait at the front door as they stepped off the school bus and into her arms…where Peeta had carried her over its threshold…

They had purchased the two-story colonial-style house after Luke was born with the help of their parents. Since then, they had repaid the loan tenfold and found comfort that their children had a place to go whenever they needed it.

Heading up the brick walkway, Katniss reached into her purse pulling out her key to unlock the door before stepping into the house.

Closing the door, she was surprised to smell the scent of…cookies.

Toeing off her shoes, Katniss headed towards the kitchen and was surprised to find Peeta pulling out a tray full of chocolate chip cookies—her favorite.

“What are you doing?” she asked from the open doorway.

“Thought that you and the kids would like a fresh batch whenever you got home,” her ex replied as he placed the tray on the counter. Peeta pulled the oven mitts off, tossing them beside the cookies. “You’re home early.”

“Dinner didn’t go so well,” she told him glumly. Katniss presented him with the wine bottle in her grasp. “At least I have a consolation gift—that I paid for.”

“Ouch,” Peeta replied. “Well…cookies are the perfect complement to wine.”

She nodded. “Do you remember where the bottle opener is?”

He went to the second drawer to the left of the counter, pulling out the well-loved gadget. “Always.”

++++++

“Do you remember how we used to stay up late to watch R-rated movies after the kids were asleep?” Peeta asked. “I swear there was one point where I wanted to murder The Wiggles.”

“You didn’t know?” Katniss reached to grab another cookie from the coffee table. “I put a hit on them. That’s why you never hear about them anymore.”

The soft glare of the television was the only light in the room. They had discovered an old romcom that was popular when they were teenagers and decided that it would go well with their late-night snack.

Peeta chuckled, sitting back on the couch. He had changed from his ceremony attire to a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants that Katniss had found in her closet. She had also changed into a pair of pajamas while Peeta had set up cookies and wine in the living room.

“If anyone could murder them, it would be you,” Peeta replied. “What time is Addie getting home?”

“I told her midnight was her curfew while she lives here,” Katniss informed him. “Once she’s in college, we will have no say on when she gets home.”

“I’m dreading not knowing what she’s doing.” He turned to her. “Do you think she’s going to come home during the holidays?”

“If she doesn’t want me to go all the way to Stanford to drag her ass here, she will.” Peeta snorted at her words. “She’ll come home. It’s going to be lonely here without her though. Nobody to have mani-pedis with or talk about those stupid reality shows …”

Katniss found herself sniffing back tears. She swiped them away with the back of her hand.

“Ignore me. It’s the wine and ending the most useless relationship in history.”

Peeta waved her over to his side and she scooted in towards him, her head going to his shoulder. She tucked her feet underneath her bottom as he put an arm around her.

“Did you love him?” Peeta asked gently.

“No.” She closed her eyes, taking comfort in the warmth of him. “I’ve had my great love. I don’t need another…I just liked the feeling of someone making an effort to just be with me.”

“And, I wasn’t that way?” he replied tightly.

“Neither of us were making much effort towards the end.” Katniss looked up, seeing his eyes full of hurt. “It was no one’s fault. It just happened. I mean, we didn’t kiss each other anymore.”

“I should’ve kissed you more.” His hand reached to brush her chin and her body tingled, her lower half twisting in that familiar heat. “It was one of my favorite things to do.”

“Until it wasn’t.” Katniss swallowed harshly as she unfolded her legs. They were getting into dangerous territory. Reluctantly, she stood up. “I should clean up—”

Peeta suddenly grabbed her wrist and she stilled at the motion.

Standing, Peeta reached his arm around her waist, pulling her against him.

His other hand went to her cheek. “You’re always going to be my great love. You know that, right?”

Then, his lips were on hers.

Katniss fell easily into his kiss. She always did. Her arms circled his neck as she pressed against him, feeling her nipples tighten against the hard planes of his chest. Peeta’s hands moved down, palming at her ass and she groaned into his mouth, her tongue sweeping into his.

Peeta’s lips moved to her neck. “I forgot how good you tasted.” He sucked against the juncture and she mewled, the heat between her legs growing and her core throbbing. “Do you still taste this good everywhere else?”

“You can find out…later.”

Katniss guided him to sit on the couch as she pulled her unbuttoned her pajama top, shaking it off her quickly. Her breasts were in bare sight, nipples pebbled despite the heat in the room. Her pants were next, and she undid the drawstring before bending down to pull her bottoms down to the carpet.

Peeta stared up at her in awe. “You’re still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

Katniss smiled softly as she placed her knees on both sides of his lap before straddling him. Her lips went to his in a gentle kiss.

“Have you been with anyone else recently?” she asked against his mouth.

Peeta shook his head. “It’s been a year…and it was only once.” He looked to her. “And Gale?

“Never. He hardly came over and I have never been to his apartment,” Katniss explained. “We mostly had dinner or went to shows that his company was sponsoring.”

Peeta tutted. “Shame.” His hands went to her waist. “Who wouldn’t love to be deep inside you?”

Her hand reached under the waistband of his bottoms, finding him hard. Her hand wrapped around him, stroking smoothly to get him ready. He hissed, his eyes closing and his hips following her motions.

“Please don’t make me come all over myself,” he begged. “I don’t think I’d forgive myself if I did.”

“We wouldn’t want that—” Katniss eagerly helped him pull his pants off, her eyes going immediately to his length, standing erect and the tip of it glistening. She missed his cock—or at least her pussy did, as it immediately pulsed at the sight of him. “—I don’t think either of us is going to last.”

His hand went between her thighs, pushing the cloth between aside to plunge two fingers into her sodden core.

“Damn, you’re wet.” His eyes traveled to meet hers as he slid the digits in and out of her before putting them into his mouth. “You taste even better than I remember.”

“I forgot how I loved the way you looked at me whenever we were together,” she told him, her hands hurriedly moving the last piece of cloth. “Like I was the only woman in the world.”

“To me, you are.”

Her eyes filled and she leaned down to give him another kiss before helping him remove his shirt.

“You shouldn’t say things like that,” she admonished quietly.

Katniss looked over her ex-husband, familiarizing herself with his body once more. His chest and shoulders were broader and his abdomen firmer. However, there were other things that were the same; the scar on his shoulder from falling at the school playground and the feel of his strong thighs under her.

“Why not?” he asked her, his hand going to the nape of her neck.

He gently drew her down until their foreheads met and she looked into those blue eyes, dark with hunger. Her heart skipped at the intensity of his gaze and she remembered all over again how easy it was to fall in love with Peeta.

“Because this will be harder to forget,” she told him.

Peeta’s hand went to her hip, guiding her over him.

“I don’t want to forget.”

Then, in one motion, he was inside her.

++++++

“Katniss.”

She looked up from behind the register to find Gale standing before her.

“Hi. What are you doing here?” she asked, rounding the counter. “I haven’t heard from you in…”

“Two months,” he replied sheepishly. “Trust me, you don’t forget when a woman walks out on you at a restaurant.”

Katniss crossed her arms. “You kind of deserved it.”

“May I take you out to dinner to apologize?” Gale looked genuinely sorry for his behavior. “I miss you.”

“You don’t even know me,” she countered.

“Give me a chance—unless you’re seeing someone else.”

Her mind wandered to that night…that perfect night with Peeta.

She had forgotten how perfectly he fit inside her. Peeta had been her first and she was his. When they were younger, he had jokingly told her that her insides were perfectly molded to his cock—any other man’s would never fit exactly right.

And, it was true.

He continued to prove his theory a few more times before she insisted that he leave. It wouldn’t do any good for Adeline to see her father and mother reuniting carnally all over the living room couch.

They were still close, but they understood that it had been once and once only.

Even though the sight of him left her soaked.

Or that, occasionally, if Peeta was close enough to her, he would brush his hand against Katniss’ sending her hormones into overdrive.

She shook herself from her thoughts and looked to the man in front of her.

“There’s no one else,” she told him.

“Tonight? I’ll pick you up after closing.” Katniss nodded and Gale leaned over to kiss her cheek. “I’m looking forward to it.”

“See you then.”

Gale walked out of the store, heading towards the Mercedes parked in the front.

Katniss stretched, feeling an ache in her body. Lately, she had felt off. The stress of Adeline getting ready to leave and unexpected sex with her ex had left her feeling out of sorts.

Yesterday, she nearly tore Luke’s head off for leaving his muddy sneakers by the front door after soccer practice.

There was a beep on her phone, and she looked to find a text from Adeline: ‘Mom, you heading to a Target or a drug store after work?’

She typed back, ‘Wasn’t planning to. Do you need anything?’

‘Some Tylenol and tampons.’

‘Sure babe. I’ll see you later.’

Adeline’s cycle was very similar to her own; it came strong, leaving her sometimes unable to even move.

Katniss added soup to her list of things to grab after closing the store.

It always made them feel better during their periods—

Which she did not have, even though she and Adeline were usually in sync.

Katniss turned from the counter where a calendar featuring men with puppies was—no red circle marking the arrival of her period. She took the calendar off its hook before looking at the previous month.

No red circle either.

Fuck.

Without fail, every graduation ended with her being pregnant with Peeta’s child.

FIN(?)

Really enjoyed writing this one, it would make a great four-parter. Thoughts?

[elbiotipo]

Ok that was the sequels with the Disney Canon, But MY idea of the sequels would be actually an animated series about Luke’s Jedi Order, it would be basically a Jedi School series with fun adventures and both old and new characters. I know I previously ranted about how I hate both school settings and teenage protagonists but this is different because it’s Jedi School and it’s Star Wars.

So, for this I take what I like from the old canon, other things from the new canon, and drop other things, don’t expect much coherence.

Anyways it’s set about 15 or so years after the Battle of Endor. Things have gotten much better, you know how it goes, the New Republic has grown and the Imperial Remnant are just a fringe junta of all the weirdo warlords of the EU, Han and Leia get married, Lando is chancellor, and Luke marries Mara Jade, because she’s awesome, and rebuilds the Jedi Order.

Since the old method of “kidnapping children” is out for obvious reasons, the Jedi Order functions more like a boarding school or summer camp in Yavin IV. It is much smaller than the prequels order, composed of:

Old masters and survivors to Order 66, like Luke, Mara, Ahsoka, Ezra and a couple others, they try their best but they are ultimately quirky teachers

First generation jedi that were only recently trained like Finn and Rey and still have much to learn

And a whole bunch of Padawans from all ages, species, worlds and backgrounds

The series mostly follows Luke’s son Ben, who is a Very Good Kid with a little of a complex fromhaving such a successful father (and mother) who are praised all over the Galaxy. He’s quiet, shy and isn’t very good with a lightsaber but has a deep connection to the force. He’s friends/rivals with his older cousin Aldera Organa (Han took Leia’s name) who is LOUD, sarcastic, hotheaded, and while overall a good girl WILL cut you up with a lightsaber if given the chance. They’re friends with a pilot jedi padawan from an Andes/Inca inspired world (we haven’t seen that before in Star Wars), a huge Wookiee who plays football (as in the one with foot, not the yanqui version), and a Trandoshan mechanic girl (because they are always shown as villain characters, make them heroes for once). Together, They Fight Crime and we see how they slowly grow from just kids to heroes.

Luke Skywalker meanwhile, tries to be a good teacher. He wakes up every day, drinks his blue milk, and reads pedagogy textbooks to try to become a better teacher, but is very concerned that he’s just winging it all, after all he only got two weeks top of training with Obi-Wan and Yoda included. Everybody assures him it’s okay but he doesn’t believe them. Leia represents the Jedi back at Coruscant, Han trains the New Republic special forces (including New Republic Super Agents Poe Dameron and Rose Tico), Lando is the New Republic Chancellor, R2D2 and C3PO are the official Jedi academy groundskeeper and translator, respectively, and Chewie is just vibing and enjoying his retirement.

Ok, so everything is nice so far. Another year in the Academy starts, all the character meet, Luke and Mara have a parent-teachers reunion, etc. etc. he assures everyone the school is Perfectly Safe, just look at that Togruta lady she has TWO lightsabers isn’t she awesome?

Meanwhile, somewhere in the Galaxy, Han and his Superagents are in a shooting with some aliens who come from outside the Galaxy. They escape in their ship and are headed to the Jedi Academy, Han tries to warn them but the transmission is cut.

So first lessons in the Jedi Academy, Ben is dissapointed that he isn’t as good as a Jedi as the other kids despite being the son of Luke and you know normal school dramas but with lightsabers.

THEN the aliens land. They are like... Vong But Not Really, intergalactic invaders who are able to manipulate and even disconect someone from the Force temporarily, and they are physically very strong. They are a scout team sent ahead of the main fleet to test the strongest force users of the Galaxy and they aren’t very impressed.

They kidnap the children to study them but they escape using Home Alone traps unorthodox tactics. A battle ensues, awesome things happen, Mara blows up their ship so they hide in the jungle at night. The kids are lost in the jungle though, and the Vong close up on them one by one. Just as the leader grabs Ben and does his villain speech, a green lightsaber lights up in the darkness. It's Luke. He gives the Vong leader one chance to free them. The Vong nervously refuse.

Luke Skywalker goes fucking feral on them, Darth-Vader-In-Rogue-One Style, until they finally surrender and free the kids, and then he goes back into Quirky Master mode and asks them all if they are okay. They are, just now are fucking terrified for several reasons.

Nobody is seriously hurt and all the kidnappers are captured so they see little reason to suspend the academic year. They send the Vong prisoners to Coruscant, where Leia resolves to learn more about these invaders before the come, and so the main arc of the series starts, while they fight pirates, bounty hunter, imperial warlords, dark side spirits and all that weird EU stuff, they slowly investigate who the Vong are, what they want and try to prepare for the upcoming invasion.

Other *fun* things that happen include:

Thrawn, who was conspicously absent all this time (though Ezra escaped from him at some point), comes back from the Unknown Regions with his fleet and sees the bunch of jokers leading what remains of the “Empire”. He goes all art student mode and says “hhmmrmm... an empeire need sthe figuer of an empoerer”...

And eventually manuevers over the warlords and crowns himself emperor, and the New Republic has another headache to deal with.

The Mandalorian and Baby Yoda from hit live-action series “The Mandalorian and Baby Yoda Show” appear, he finally found the Jedi after aimlessly wandering the Galaxy, and tearfully entrusts Baby Yoda to them. It’s a babysitting episode where Baby Yoda makes pure CHAOS in the Jedi Academy and eventually the Jedi give him back to Din, telling him to raise him until he’s more mature, much to his delight

Luke organizes a friendly lightsaber tournament to test everybody’s abilities. Ahsoka, Ezra and the rest, who had more lightsaber training than “Obi-Wan teaching me to avoid a floating ball and Yoda making me pile up rocks” wipe the floor with him.

In the villain romance nobody asked for, Thrawn marries admiral Daala in a marriage for convenience and the Jedi are invited to the wedding omg!!! Of course, IT’S A TRAP and the new Imperial couple tell them to serve the rightful galactic goverment, that is, them. And so they crash the wedding instead, it would be hilarious

The kids are majorly concerned about Luke talking to force ghosts and Mara ocassionally repeating orders from a dead Palpatine, and they try to make them get a fucking vacation and therapy for once.

LIFE. DAY. SPECIAL.

Some dark side cultists cloned Palpatine but because he was raised differently in another world he’s just like, an accountant, who gets kidnapped for their dark rituals, and the Jedi have to spend a whole fleet to rescue Some Guy who doesn’t even understand what’s going on.

Of course eventually the Vong invade in full force and the Galaxy is under attack again, the Thrawn Empire has to decide if to follow an old dream of a Sith madman or help the New Republic, and everybody has Choices to make and Tragedy incoming but that’s way in the future to write.

It would be so much fun to have an Jedi Academy series because I’m sure Mark Hamill would LOVE to be casted, the old EU has so much cool things (and stupid crap) to write about, and you have so many characters to make plots and subplots for and make toys and spinoffsHEY DISNEY ARE YOU LISTENING YOU CAN MAKE MONEY WITH THIS YOU BASTARDS

[jadedjo]

Man Out of Time

More from my time travel au. Mara will have her say! So prepare for a poorly edited dialogue dump on the nature of the Jedi.

Previous installments:

Obi-Wan

Luke

3. Mara

She shouldn’t be doing this. As a Jedi Apprentice it was not her place. But as the wife of the head of the Jedi Order she felt like abusing her privileged status for the greater good. Even if that meant not preventing evil from taking over the galaxy.

Mara found Obi-Wan Kenobi in the Grand Audience Chamber. Seated on the floor before the lecture like any adept. Having removed his battle armor he appeared like any other man in meditation might. Expressions smoothed out as the Force flowed through him.

She made no effort to hide her approach and let her footfalls echo through the cavernous space. By the time she had reached him, Kenobi was standing and giving her a half bow.

“Pardon me,” he said before she could speak. “I was told no one would be up here for a while yet. If you’ll excuse me.” He started to move around her and toward the lift when she spoke up and put a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“Actually, Master Kenobi, I am here to speak with you.”

“Forgive me, my lady,” he said with a regretful shake of his head. “I fear I am not up to conversation at the moment. Too much on my mind.”

“I realize that,” Mara said. “It was my husband who gave you so much to think about.”

He started at her remark and stared at her face for a moment before dropping his eyes.

“Forgive me,” he apologized again. “I’m not sure I can get used to Jedi so casually mentioning being romantically linked. Jedi…?”

“Mara Jade Skywalker,” she finished for him. “But not a Jedi yet, still an apprentice.” And before he could remark on that she asked, truly curious despite her mission, “Was it really so unheard of in your day for a Jedi to fall in love?”

“It happened,” he admitted then smiled ruefully. “To me even at one point.”

Her eyebrows shot up and had she been anyone else but a former Imperial Undercover Operative, no doubt her jaw would have dropped in surprise.

He chuckled, “It was a long time ago and had she asked I would have left the Order for her. But she didn’t and I have dedicated my life to the Jedi way.”

“But why even need to leave the Order?” Mara asked, seeing the opening she needed if her plan was to succeed.

“Because attachment is not the Jedi way,” he recited and she could feel waver in his emotions.

“But love is,” she countered.

“Not romantic love, possessive love,” he told her.

“Who said anything about possessive? My love for Luke is not possessive, nor he for me. It is a partnership built on trust, understanding, and love. Are there no relationships like that in your life?”

“Not that…. intimate,” he said delicately.

“Just because we have sex doesn’t change the nature of our love,” and she saw him wince at her forthrightness. “It just makes it more interesting. But sex aside, I have other platonic relationships with friends whom I love. Do those relationships mean attachment?”

“No, not necessarily…,”

“Then how is love with romantic elements added any different?” she asked.

“Is this what you wished to speak with me about?” Master Kenobi asked back, trying to deflect her questioning.

Letting him off the hook for the moment she said, “In a way. I know Luke told you all about the past, your future, and has said that it will be up to you to decided what to do with that information.”

“Yes,” he said regaining his equilibrium, controlling and shielding his emotions better so she could almost feel his relief at letting the former subject go. His body language became more upright and confident. “Yes, I can’t believe that Chancellor Palpatine is a Sith Lord. Right in our midst and we didn’t even see it. And to know that he corrupted Anakin to turn from the Order, I can see why Luke told me everything he did.”

“But do you truly understand it,” she said.

“I beg your pardon?” he looked at her quizzically. “What is there to understand? I can prevent a great evil from befalling the galaxy. It is my duty as a Jedi to act.”

“Actually, it’s not your duty as a Jedi. A Jedi’s purpose is to act out the will of the Force, to keep it in balance and helping those who need it. But what if it’s the galaxy that needs help? Or the Jedi for that matter?”

“I fail to see where you’re going with this. If I change your past, won't I be helping the Jedi, keeping the Order and the Republic intact and destroying the Sith?”

“But would you accomplish those goals if you returned?” she reasoned. “You don’t know. But let’s say for augment's sake that you did manage all that. Is what you have then better then what we have now?”

“You wouldn’t have all the death and chaos that Palpatine brings with his Sith Empire,” Master Kenobi insisted.

“Speaking as the Emperor’s former agent AND as a soon to be Jedi,” and she saw him frown at her words but she carried on. “I can tell you that, yes Palpatine needed to be gotten rid of, but the New Republic that has arisen is stronger and more resilient than the old.”

“And the Jedi?” he asked.

“Stronger and more resilient than the old.”

“But all of our knowledge,” Master Kenobi insisted. “A 1000 generations of Jedi history lost. 10,000 Jedi Knights reduced to a few dozen?! And you say this is better?!”

“Yes, better,” she said. “The Purge was horrible. The knowledge that was lost is tragic, but perhaps the old way was becoming stagnant. Unwilling to change.”

“I cannot believe I’m hearing this,” he said shaking his head and crossing his arms.

“Just listen Kenobi!” she hissed. “Open your mind to the possibility that you might be wrong. That the Jedi of your time might be wrong. Luke tells the story that when he went to Master Yoda for training the old Master insisted that he was too old. He was only 22 at the time. Then given grief over his caring about his friends.”

Kenobi gasped, “22?! By that age he should have been a Knight or close to it!”

“Brought up by the Jedi, perhaps, but this way he was able to live a relatively normal life with loving caretakers. Have life experience and grow and mature to be able to handle the emotional mantle that being a Jedi requires, even then it was a heavy burden.”

“If he had grown up in the creche that would be automatic,” Kenobi countered.

“And would a Jedi brought up in the creche have forgiven the man who destroyed the Jedi? To see the light in him and through his love, bring an evil man back to the light?”

“What do you mean?” Kenobi frowned at her sudden topic change.

“Did Luke not tell you about Darth Vader?”

“He said that was Anakin’s Sith name.”

“Yes, but did he not tell you about how he saved Vader and returned him to the light?”

“He said Vader killed Palpatine to save him.”

“Only after Luke sacrificed himself by refusing to turn to the Dark Side,” she explained. “In his love for his father, he would not kill him because he felt Vader’s conflict and war within himself. The exact opposite of what you and Yoda told him to do. Palpatine was killing Luke, and Vader killed his Master in order to save his son.”

“He glossed over that part,” Kenobi drawled.

“He doesn’t like reliving it,” Mara conceded. “But could any of your Jedi believe that anyone who turned to the Dark Side could be redeemed?”

“It is said,” Kenobi said tentatively. “That once you turn to the Dark Side you can never come back.”

“Tell that to Anakin Skywalker and Kam Solusar, the man who greeted you upon landing. To Kyp Durron and Kyle Katarn. Tell that to Luke himself who strayed and was brought back by his sister’s love. Tell that to me, who was the Emperor’s most faithful servant and who wanted nothing more than Skywalker’s death by my hands right up to the day I finally met him and received kindness instead. Could your Jedi have forgiven us all? Let us atone for our sins and make amends?

“Could your Jedi have allowed a man who had once been a servant of the Sith to teach the next generation of Jedi. For another to marry a fellow Jedi with virtually no Force ability and only for her love of keeping our history alive?”

“And what should happen if your spouse was captured or killed?” He said. Mara could tell the man was trying to find an argument to counter her without actually answering any of her questions.

“We all know the risk when we accepted the mantle of Jedi. Loss is just a part of life. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t live life to the fullest just because we are scared of loss, but rather because of our fear.”

“Fear is of the dark side,” he quoted but she cut him off. A Jedi Master he may be but even the Master’s in her time were not exempt from her calling them out.

“Only when we let our fear control us.”

She paused for a moment and when Kenobi said nothing further she asked, “The woman you loved. What became of her?”

He seemed to shrink in on himself and Mara knew whatever he said next wouldn’t be happy. “She died, while I was supposed to be protecting her.”

“I’m sorry,” Mara said sincerely. “But if I may point out, her death has not sent you into a dark spiral of loss and anguish. So what makes you think that should Luke or I die tomorrow that either of us would Fall?”

She could see in his eyes that he didn’t have a satisfactory answer other than more Pre-Purge Jedi doctrine. Here she was, not even a full Jedi, challenging a Jedi Master’s center of belief system but she felt no remorse if it made Kenobi think about how the Jedi should grow and move forward.

She decided to take pity on him and said, “All I’m asking is that you consider all the ramifications of your decision. Is your order really that much better than mine? This is my family, and would be even if I hadn’t married a Jedi.”

“I understand that, I love my fellow Jedi like my family as well,” he agreed and seemed relieved to be given a way out of the former topic.

“Not to sound uncaring Master Kenobi, but I don’t think you do understand. You were brought up within the Jedi themselves. They chose you. Whereas I chose them. The Jedi are my family by choice. Just as every other person here chose this life. We all chose to be Jedi. Right down to the children, none of whom I might add, are less than 13. Which in my opinion is still too young to make such an important life decision.”

“You have an answer for everything don’t you?” He said then mumbled to himself. “And they called me the Negotiator.”

“Negotiation isn’t really my thing,” Mara explained. “That’s Luke. Think of me as his silent general, ready to do what’s necessary when everything goes to hell. And around Luke, that’s usually the case despite his best efforts.”

“Sounds like he takes after his father. Only Anakin usually goes looking for trouble, not the other way around.”

Just then the life doors whooshed open and Luke came striding towards them and a wave of happiness and excitement enveloped them.

“I just got off the comm with Leia,” he said. “She’s looking into everything she can find about Padme Amidala. Say’s she actually recognizes the name as someone her father greatly admired.”

“Yes,” Kenobi said. “Senator Organa and Senator Amidala where good friends and leaders in drafting the initiative to limit the Chancellor’s emergency powers.”

“I’m sorry, who?” Mara asked as Luke came to stand beside her.

“My mother!” he said excitedly.

“After Luke showed me a holo of his sister I knew it was Padme. She and Anakin met while children and Anakin was infatuated with her while still a padawan.  After the battle of Genosis I knew something had changed in their relationship but not to what extent. I never dreamed he would be so foolish as to get her pregnant.”

Mara whirled on him in righteous fury, “And here you are lecturing me about attachment when you were covering for your apprentice!”

“I didn’t know for sure,” he tried to soothe her.

“But you suspected and said nothing. You Kenobi, are a sanctimonious hypocrite! You are a perfect example of what was wrong with the Jedi from before the purge.” She spat and swung around and marched from the chamber.

~~~

Obi-wan moved to go after her. To better explain himself. She’d blind-sided him with her accusations and perceptions on his Jedi. Some that he couldn’t rightly counter. Now her disgust at what he’d turned a blind-eye towards shamed him.

A hand on his arm prevented him from moving more than a step. Looking back, he saw a serious look on Anakin’s son’s face, warning him not to follow.

“I’ll talk to her later. After she’s had a chance to calm down,” Luke said.

He knew her better then Obi-wan did, and so he conceded. Not really wanting another confrontation with her anyway. But some of the things Mara Jade Skywalker had said nagged at him.

“You seem to have quite a few Jedi here who have been to the Dark Side,” Obi-wan said, refraining from pointing out that according to Luke’s own wife, he had been to the Dark Side.

Luke gave a small smile and said, “I see you two had a lot to talk about.” It was not the response Obi-wan had expected.

“She has certainly given me much to think about.”

“I’m sure. But to answer your question, I don’t believe that one can never be redeemed from the Dark Side. It’s a choice like anything else in life. To choose the light or to choose the dark and that choice doesn’t need to be permanent.

“I have no doubt Mara told you I myself turned. I’m not proud of what I did and I try and atone for it every day since. But if anything, it has given me a better understanding of why someone might choose that path and help steer them away from it. Not everyone Falls because of lust for power. That’s not why I did nor why most of those who have fought their way back to the light did.”

Obi-wan couldn’t’ believe what he was hearing, “You think turning to the Dark Side made you a better Jedi?!”

“No, of course not. I’m just saying that I understand why some others did fall and how to help the back to the light.”

“Do you know why Anakin fell?” asked Obi-wan.

“I don’t,” Luke said regretfully. “I wish I did.”

“Then I guess even if I do decide to change the past it might not matter anyway.”

“It’s the nature of time and the Force. Always in motion but always moving forward,” said Luke, sounding very much like Master Yoda. “Even when I’ve actively tried to change my vision of the future they usually still come to pass while when I do nothing then they sometimes change.”

He rubbed his temple. A headache forming behind his eyes. Something that only happened when Anakin was at his most reckless.

“But I think that is enough talk of what path the Jedi should take and whether or not it can be changed. I’m sorry if Mara came off as a bit brisque, but her heart is in the right place.”

“Why didn’t you tell her not to come?”

Luke chuckled. “One, she is my wife and not my subordinate despite being my apprentice and two, you try and tell Mara not to do something she’s set her mind to.” He shook his head. “Trust me, it never goes well.”

“That sounds like a complicated relationship.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

[vixenninjaturtle]

TMNT Leo x Female  Reader(2016) Ch. 5

A couple days had passed since your first visit to the lair and your life kind of went on like the usual. You were just coming back home after a very productive yet awesome day at work, so you made plans to take a nice hot bubble bath and watch some movies to wind down from your day. You slowly made your way to the bathroom and turned the knob to run the water for your bath, you stripped down before checking the water, so it was just like you needed it. Hot and bubbly. You let out a soft sigh when your sank down into the hot water while feeling your muscles relax almost instantly. You enjoyed some quiet moments while soaking, but you felt kind of bored after some time so you grabbed your phone which you had placed on the edge of the tub. Just when you were about to grab it, it suddenly started to vibrate and you could grab it just before it was able to carry itself over the edge and into the water. You checked to see who was texting you and saw that it was Leo.

Leo: “Hey (y/n) hope I haven’t caught you at a bad time? Just wanted to check to see how you were doing?” it read. You couldn’t help but smile. Leo always checked if you were doing okay on a daily basis. Not that you minded the attention.

You: “No, Leo not at all. I’m just soaking away in a nice hot bath… What’s up?” you answered while thinking about what movie to watch after your bath.

You kind of felt a little bad, was it okay to tell Leo that you were taking a bath? It was not like you were rubbing the fact, that you were texting him naked, right under his nose. Okay you were doing that. But you couldn’t help but think about how he was reacting to that knowledge. Was he flustered? Was he imagining how you looked completely naked and vulnerable. Great. Now that you were thinking about it, you couldn’t help but tease him…You needed an reaction from him. You had to know if you could get to him that easily. You knew you got his imagination running since it took him almost 15 minutes to text back.

Leo:* blushing emoji and a sweat drop emoji* O-Oh … M-my apologies (y/n)… I had no idea you were taking a bath… Umm I- I can text you back later… If you want?” you could almost see him blushing mad while reading his text and an evil smirk made its way onto your lips.

You knew Leonardo was all about honor and you knew he felt bad for thinking about you in any indecent way. But you… Oh you were gonna take full advantage and wouldn’t even feel sorry for it.

You: “Leo, relax you’re not bothering me at all. Although… I would prefer if you were here to wash my back for me.” *winking emoji* you couldn’t help but snicker when you sent the text to Leonardo. Imagine him blushing a deep red while maybe one of his brothers catching him reading your last text.

This time it took Leo about 20 minutes to text you back and you couldn’t help but laugh out loud at how long it took him. God you felt evil, but good at the same time. That poor boy… You weren’t sure if your last text made him faint or gave him a heart attack. You could only imagine him reading your text over again and writing something before deleting it again and again so it wouldn’t sound out of place or inappropriate.

Leo: “Huh. Well. I don’t really know what to say…” you laughed even more after reading that and you had to calm everything back down, before you’d scare the poor boy any more.

You: “Oh Leonardo, relax… I was kidding around. I have to admit though. I’ve had a blast. I wish I could have seen your face. *grinning emoji* you laugh had subsided into a small chuckle.

Leo:*flushed face emoji*…. Oh you’re so gonna pay for that, young lady!” Leo couldn’t help but chuckle when the tension left his body. “I actually wanted to know if you were up for some company. April has been working late for a while now and there’s not much criminal activity going on lately, so I have an awful lot of free time and I don’t feel like meditating. ” he told you and you felt your heart flutter. He just admitted that he would like to spend time with you.

But he was right, April has been working a lot these past couple of weeks. Most of the days she wasn’t even able to make it home, so she would crash over at Casey’s place for the night. Which in turn made the apartment very lonely.

You: “Oh yeah? Then come over and try to make me pay for teasing you. I dare you.” you giggled while sending him another winking emoji and a blowing kiss emoji. “Anyways you’re welcome to come over… I’m always up for some company. We could order some Chinese food and watch a couple movies.” you suggested before unplugging your bath.

Leo: “Hah. Alright, you’re asking for it… I’ll be there in 15 minutes.” when you read Leo’s text you couldn’t help but cursing slightly under your breath. You had 15 minutes to get dressed and ready.

Exactly 15 minutes later Leo knocked at your window and you got ready right on time. You let him enter your bedroom through the window just when there was another knock at the door letting you know that your ordered food had arrived. You paid the delivery boy and thanked him for the fast delivery. When you got back into the living room you saw Leonardo already on the couch and the table already set.

“Dinner’s ready! I hope you like fried rice, chop suey and chicken.” you sang before sitting down beside him while placing the bag with the food on the table.

“Awesome! I’m starving… “ Leo declared hugging you sideways before opening the bag, so the two of you could start eating.

You couldn’t help but think that this actually kinda felt like a date and you had to admit that you liked the idea of dating Leo. He was different than the boys you had met. He was honest, funny and a lot more mature than most guys you knew. You couldn’t help but think about your ex boyfriend for a moment but forced that thought back immediately. You didn’t want to think about that jerk… You were here with Leo, the guy you have grown to like in more ways than one very much and you were going to have a fun time with him. So you picked out a movie for two of you to watch on Netflix and began to enjoy your evening together.

About 20 minutes into your “date,” you and Leo talked about how your days went, pretty much anything you can think of. You both were full from dinner and just sat watching the movie. The two of you were only a few feet away from each other, but you wanted nothing more than to feel his strong arms around you and feel those lips on yours. You would glance over just to get a peek at those lips you have day dreamed about for months now, but whenever Leo would turn to look at you, you’d immediately look away just hoping he didn’t see you. However with Leo being a ninja, he grew up to learn how to observe every little thing that happens around him…. Even when you are staring at him. Leo on the other hand was just as nervous as you were. He never been alone with a girl before, and he wasn’t sure what to do or what to say. And honestly it was making things a little awkward for the two of you. Seeing that Leo was not gonna be the one to make a move, you took upon yourself and moved a little closer to him, and laid your head on his arm. Leo instantly blushed looking over at you. He could feel beads of sweat dripping from his head because he was so nervous, but you looked so beautiful and he was looking forward to be able to hold you in his arms for a long time. Slowly he wrapped his arm around your frame and pulled you closer to him.

A few minutes later, you both turned and looked at each other. You were staring into his gorgeous sapphire blue eyes while Leo was staring into your stunning (e/c) eyes. Suddenly you couldn’t tell what is was but something was pushing the two of you closer together. And just as you were about to lock lips, there came a sudden bang on the door causing the both of you to jump. Leo looked from the door to you concerned.

“Are you…. expecting anyone?” He asked while still holding you.

“No… I’m not sure who that could be… It can’t be April because she’s still at work… Let’s just ignore them and maybe they’ll go away.” You suggested while trying to get back into enjoying your movie and hopefully try to kiss Leo again.

However whoever was out there kept banging on the door until you were finally getting angry and annoyed. You opened the door and standing right before you smelling of alcohol was your ex-boyfriend Luke.

“(Y/N)!!! Just the woman I wanted to see.”

“Luke? What the hell are you doing here? And how did you know where I was?”

“That doesn’t matter all that matters is that I found you…. I love you (y/n), I want us to be together! Please take me back!” He screamed.

You were getting ready to slam the door in his face, when he stopped it and pushed his way into the apartment.

“Luke get out of here right now…You’re drunk.” You demanded as calmly as possible.

“I’m not leaving until you take me back… And I won’t take no for an answer.”

The minute Luke turned around to walk further into the apartment he came face to face with Leo (more like face to chest anyway) who by now was standing just a few inches away from the two humans. Luke eyed the tall terrapin up and down almost like he was sizing him up.

“Who the hell is this freak? Your new boyfriend? Hey dude, Halloween isn’t ‘till October.” Luke laughed at Leo.

It was bad enough that your ex-boyfriend would show up unannounced but the fact that he had the nerve to make fun of Leo really crossed the line. You grabbed Luke by the shoulder and tried to lead him out the door (big mistake) instead he grabbed you by your wrist and pushed you against the door.

“I told you… I am not leaving until you promise to take me back.” Luke demanded with a deeper tone in his voice.

Luke was so close to your face that you can actually smell the alcohol in his breath. You tried to push him off but he held you against the door to where you couldn’t get free. Seeing this made Leo very angry and every inch of his body was screaming at him to protect you. And he was going to do just that… Even if it means breaking his code of honor.

[justsomebucky]

Lesson Learned

Summary: AU. Reader and Bucky Barnes are best friends. Will a figure from the past ruin everything, or will they see what’s right in front of them?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!reader

Word Count: 3,484

Warnings: language, angst, fluff, drinking, fables are difficult, the grass isn’t always greener, cheesy like Hallmark movies, yadda yadda

A/N: This is my last submission for the lovely Nikki’s ( @soldatbarnes​) writing challenge. My prompt was the word Fable (and I have listed my selected one below the cut). I have suffered through this.Thanks to @sebbytrash for helping.

The Astronomer An astronomer used to go out at night to observe the stars. One evening, as he wandered through the suburbs with his whole attention fixed on the sky, he fell accidentally into a deep well. While he lamented and bewailed his sores and bruises, and cried loudly for help, a neighbor ran to the well, and learning what had happened said: "Hark ye, old fellow, why, in striving to pry into what is in heaven, do you not manage to see what is on earth?'

--------

“Do you ever look up at the sky and think of all the endless possibilities in life? Maybe wonder where you could’ve ended up instead of here?”

You turned your head and looked up at the glittering night sky. Where exactly was he going with this? “You mean another planet?”

Bucky Barnes, your best friend in the world, gave a big belly laugh. “No, I mean as in another city, or another country…do you ever picture yourself having a life someplace else? Do you think you were meant to be living a different life?”

Your eyes flickered back down to the water, where slivers of moonlight glistened off the small waves. The two of you had picked this table because of its location on the deck, and now you wished you were inside, sharing elbow room with an overwhelming Friday crowd.

You couldn’t explain it, but his question made you anxious, and your fight-or-flight mode was ready to send you flying.

“Of course it crosses my mind sometimes,” you replied, trying to keep a casual tone. “I think everyone thinks about it…but how can you really know?”

He nodded but didn’t answer, taking a quick swig of his beer as he lost himself in thought again.

Your brows furrowed as you considered his original question. Was he having some regrets about his choices?

This was new, or news to you at least. Bucky normally seemed pretty content in his life here, and had since the day you met him two years ago. He had a good job, lots of friends, a decent apartment…he even had a little cat he lovingly called Luke Skywalker.

In fact, it was a vast improvement from how he’d been the first time you set eyes on him.

Everything about that night had been filled with laughter and fun. You’d been out celebrating your friend Rochelle’s engagement to the love of her life, Dean. Carley, your roommate back at uni, brought her husband Richard, leaving you as the only one flying solo. Normally, you hated showing up alone to parties when you knew everyone else would be paired off.

That night was a special exception, obviously.

And though you wouldn’t realize it until later, that night had a bit of magic left to try to align the universe in your favor, too.

Your entire life shifted on its axis the day Bucky Barnes entered your life.

The little celebration had already been in full swing for at least an hour. You’d wandered to the bar for another round of drinks (on you, of course, because everyone took turns). Every bit of it was fairly normal.

You’d looked over at him, then. It was just a quick glance the first time, then a few more, and another as you felt drawn in his direction. At the time you figured it was just the two rum and cokes in your system doing all the thinking for you.

Maybe you looked that many times because you’d never seen someone so handsome in that dinky restaurant by the water before. Maybe it was the look in his sad blue-grey eyes as he stared at nothing that tugged on your heartstrings. Those could certainly be contributors to why you chose to approach him that night.

Anyway, you felt an urgent need to introduce yourself, reasons be damned.

That night was supposed to be happy, filled with laughter and joy, not misery. Why should someone be so miserable if you could help them? You wanted to see him happy.

You had scooted a little closer while you waited for your drinks, though not so far as to make him feel like you were a creeper. His eyes had met yours in confusion, but at least he wasn’t put off by your presence. Conversation started, and though at first he was a man of few words, you managed to get his tragic backstory.

It turned out that a woman named Natasha had left him for the other coast, intent on making it big in the entertainment industry. She told him she didn’t want him along for the ride even though Bucky was willing to go with her. They didn’t have a future, she’d said.

That very night, he sat there by himself, drinking and wallowing under the weight of a year-long relationship that came crashing down over his head in mere minutes. This Natasha woman had decided, without his input, that his life was going to change forever because of her own needs.

She just threw him away.

So yeah, you spared him a few more minutes of your time and even a drink on your tab before you invited him over to the engagement party. At first he refused, but once you got Carley and Rochelle in on it, he said he couldn’t possibly turn three lovely ladies down.

The fact that he was smiling by the end of that night made your whole damn week better. He was easy to like, and as the months went on, even easier to love.

You realized you were in love with him after about seven months or so, but there was never any a-ha moment. It just became a fact of life, a little footnote of information that you kept to yourself.

Not that you would ever tell him…you didn’t want to then, and couldn’t imagine telling him in the near future. Things worked well between the two of you and you didn’t want to mess it up.

It wasn’t worth the risk of losing him.

For all his intuitiveness, Bucky didn’t seem to notice the atmosphere shifting around him as you recalled your affection. He didn’t notice the way your eyes lingered or how your hands fidgeted nervously.

You looked away, focusing on a small boat parked nearby as it shimmied on the water. “Is there a reason you’re asking, Buck?”

Bucky cleared his throat. “Actually, yeah…remember Natasha?”

Your eyes narrowed almost instantly. Of course you remembered her. “You mean the woman who left you two years ago after breaking your heart into a million pieces?”

When he didn’t answer, you looked back at him. “Am I wrong?”

“She’s back in town,” he continued, overlooking the truth of the situation. “She wanted to get together, catch up a little.”

“And you told her no, right?”

Didn’t he? Surely he wouldn’t agree to meet with her after everything she did to him. What kind of madman would even consider it?

“I had drinks with her last night,” Bucky admitted quietly, swirling the last of his beer once before chugging it.

So that’s where he had been when you tried to reach him. He had been suspiciously quiet all day.

That’s who he was with on the night he usually reserved for you, for movies or game night or anything as long as the two of you were together.

Your eyes flitted back to the water. You weren’t sure if it was mortification or betrayal you were feeling…maybe a little of both.

“And?”

He sighed. “She’s well…she’s thinking about moving back to the city.”

A low hum sounded in your throat. Of course she was.

“Couldn’t cut it out west?”

“She said she’s sick of the weather.”

“There’s always Canada.”

“Y/N…”

“Bucky,” you mimicked, meeting his sharp gaze again. “What ever happened to ‘I don’t ever want to see her again,’ and ‘she ruined my life’?”

He gave a shrug and set his beer bottle down. “We’ve both grown up a little.”

The truth was more likely that Natasha needed a place to crash until she got her own place here. Maybe she wanted to borrow some money, maybe she needed some…casual familiar relief…but there was no way in hell that she should be able to just go back to something she so easily left behind without having to own up to her mistakes first.

You sat up a little, giving him your full attention. “Did she apologize?”

“Sort of.” Bucky looked away.

Your eyes narrowed. “How does one sort of apologize? That’s like saying you sort of breathe, you sort of exist, you sort of-“

“I get it, all right? I just need some time to think.” Bucky slid out of his chair and stood, gesturing to your drink. “Want another one?”

Yeah, definitely not. The more liquid courage you had the greater the chance of spilling your guts to him, and after his little Natasha revelation, that was out of the question.

“Actually, I have to be up early tomorrow.”

It was the most see-through excuse ever, but you didn’t care. Why should you care if he didn’t care enough about himself to move on from that destructive relationship.

He’d made so much progress...it hurt to see him so willing to throw it all away.

Bucky nodded, running a hand over the light stubble on his jawline. “Do you need a lift, or-“

“I’m fine,” you interrupted, grabbing your bag and jacket while forcing a smile to your face. “Have a good night Bucky.”

You didn’t wait for his reply before bolting for the exit. It wasn’t mature and certainly wasn’t how you would have liked to handle it, but if you didn’t get out of there quick, you were going to get emotional.

---

Days passed before you even bothered to open the text messages you’d been getting from Bucky.

The silent treatment was so, so childish, but you honestly didn’t know what to say to him. You didn’t know how to explain why you left so abruptly that night, and you sure as hell didn’t know how to explain why you were so angry, so emotional over this whole situation without revealing your secret.

Your heart was screaming for you to just talk to him, but your fear was keeping you quiet.

So you did what you were used to doing. You closed yourself off from the rest of the world. You went to work, you came home, and you repeated the process, just going through the motions to keep your head above water.

The thing was, your heart was aching. Every day it felt like a larger weight stacked on your shoulders. The sun shined a little less brightly, your bed wasn’t as soft, and your smiles were halfhearted. It was pretty melodramatic after only a week, but you just couldn’t help it.

It was like a part of you went missing, which was really ridiculous, since you never felt like that before Bucky came into your life.

When Friday night arrived, you sat on your couch in your small apartment and finally broke down, opening the growing number of unread texts from your best friend.

The further you read, the more the text started to blur as a week’s worth of unhinged emotions finally caught up to you.

Hope you made it home safely.

Hey, I know you hate Sunday nights, so I found this picture of a dog for you.

Have a great Monday, Y/N.

Hey did you see this video? Thought it might make you smile.

Those were just the starters.

Happy Hump Day!

I guess you’re really mad at me, huh? : /

Is there anything I can do?

Y/N, can we talk? Maybe over pizza and a Thor movie? Get it? Thorsday?

Or maybe we could go to the movies if you don’t want to talk?

Okay, well, when you decide you want to talk, I’ll be here.

I just really miss you.

That’s the one that got you. The last message had a time stamp of earlier that afternoon.

He was still making an effort to talk, so you decided to make the effort, too.

If he wanted to go be with Natasha again, so be it. It didn’t mean he would be out of your life, just less accessible. Maybe they were meant to be, maybe it was fated for her to come back in his life. Two years was enough time to grow as a person, if the person really wanted to, right?

You weren’t even involved, you didn’t even know her. This was their battle, their reunion, and you didn’t need to forgive someone on someone else’s behalf.

You didn’t even factor into Bucky’s equation.

“Dammit,” you muttered, setting your phone down on the coffee table in front of you.

You were jealous.

Bucky had been just yours for two whole years. The two of you did everything together, and the thought of him spending time with her, well…

It kind of made you sick to your stomach.

Two years of spending all that time together really did a number on your brain. It was so damn cliché to fall for your best friend. It was stupid and so utterly useless. If he had wanted more from you, he’d had two years to make a move. Hell, you had two years to make a move and you chickened out.

Besides, your jealousy didn’t change anything. It didn’t make you more important than Natasha to Bucky. It didn’t make him want to be with you.

All it did was make you feel awful.

You squeezed your eyes shut, letting your head fall back against the couch cushion with a loud groan.

The decision was basically made for you. It was time to be a better, more supportive friend. It was selfish to try to hold onto someone who wanted to be free. If that’s what he needed from you, you weren’t going to let your dumb feelings get in the way.

You’d get over him eventually.

Your eyes opened and you quickly typed out a message to Bucky, asking him to meet you at the restaurant by the water, and you even added a little note at the end that made your heart twist.

Feel free to bring Natasha.

---

You didn’t dress differently or prepare any sort of speech to give him. There were only two words resting on the tip of your tongue at the moment, and they were long overdue.

So that night, nearly two years to the day that you met, it was your turn to sit at the bar by yourself, looking forlorn and more than a little lost.

This time it was Bucky who approached you, silently taking the barstool beside you as he waved to the bartender and ordered a beer.

When you didn’t hear anyone else order, you turned your eyes toward your best friend.

He was alone. Bucky’s blue-grey eyes were as calm as the water behind you as he locked eyes with you. He said nothing, merely waiting for you to say what was on your mind.

“I’m sorry.”

Bucky didn’t react for a second or two, but when the corner of his mouth lifted you knew you were forgiven.

“I’m sorry, too.”

You protested almost immediately, knowing that he wasn’t at fault here, but he was having none of it.

“Look, Y/N.” He placed a gentle hand on your arm that was resting on the bar top. “I get it, you were just looking out for me. Natasha did a number on me and seeing her again, well…it kind of made my brain go haywire.”

All you could do was nod to encourage him to continue. This is what you were here for, after all, to listen and be supportive.

“I started thinking about how life could be if I was somewhere else. Did I make all the right choices? Did I choose the right path? I kept looking up and away instead of here and now.”

You shrugged one shoulder, trying to seem casual about the whole thing while internally you were screeching. “Like I said last week, Bucky, everyone does that.”

“Not you,” he countered, turning his body a little more to face you. “You never have. You marched right up to me the first night we met, and told me to keep living, to keep existing for me and to make the most of what I had. You made me laugh, you made me happy again, and I’ll be forever grateful.”

“That’s what friends are for.” Your leg started involuntarily shaking against the barstool and you had to make an effort to stop despite your nerves being shot.

“And that brings me to my next point, Y/N.”

Bucky pulled his hand from your arm and stood, this time leaning over on the bar right in front of you. You found yourself a little more than flustered by his presence in your personal space.

Your leg wasn’t shaking anymore, but that was because you could no longer feel it.

“What next point?” you managed to ask, tightening your grip on your own drink.

“It’s so stupid, really…I was so busy looking at every other possibility that I didn’t see what was right in front of me until it wasn’t there anymore.”

Ah, of course. He meant your company, your friendship. Old reliable Y/N. Yeah, you knew how that felt…it had totally thrown you to go a week without him.

“I’m sorry,” you repeated, feeling your face heat up with embarrassment. “I won’t be an ass like that again, I promise.”

“I don’t think you’re quite understanding.” Bucky shifted a little so his face was closer to yours. “I know now that every choice I made was for a reason.”

You stared in wide-eyed confusion. What the hell was happening? Everything behind him faded to a blur as you zeroed in on his face.

“One week without you crushed me, Y/N,” he explained, his eyes softening a little. “Sure, Nat was back, but all she did was make me realize what I already had. Your absence wasn’t worth it. It won’t ever be worth it.”

“Can you please just speak plainly?”

If you were reading him right (and you knew you were after two years of being in his company), things were about to monumentally shift in your relationship again.

“I’m saying that life without you doesn’t make sense to me, and I don’t want to experience it ever again. I’m saying my life choices led me to you, and I’ll never regret it. I’m saying the past two years have been the best years of my life. I should have been looking in front of me this whole time.”

Bucky was silent while he waited for you to process this information.

“Are you sure you aren’t confusing yourself?” You needed him to check and re-check before you could believe that he came upon this huge revelation. “Because having a friendship you can rely on that suddenly isn’t there can be an emotional thing, too, and I-“

“This is going to sound stupid, but I think that’s why I haven’t dated in over a year. I think…” He paused, as if trying to collect his thoughts. “I think Nat’s arrival made me realize that I’ve been acting like you and I were already in a relationship, without putting both feet in.”

You pondered that for a second. Neither of you had dated anyone in about a year, now that you thought about it. And really, you hadn’t felt the need to.

“I took you for granted, Y/N, and I’m sorry. But I want to do right by you now. I want us to be together.”

“Bucky, this is a big step, a huge change. Are you sure?” Any sliver of calm you hoped to retain was gone, replaced by a buzzing excitement that might very well have been borderline panic. “Because I don’t want to be hurt again in a week if you realize you were just lonely.”

A little smile appeared on his lips. “I am one-hundred percent sure. How do you feel about it?”

You stared at him, not wanting to miss any slight reaction. “Bucky, I’ve been sure for a while. I just figured…well, I assumed you friend-zoned me.”

Admitting that was such a relief. You’d held your feelings in for so long to spare the friendship, to spare yourself from any awkwardness, but now you felt the tension melting away. Now, at least, the truth was out in the open.  

“But now,” you continued, feeling empowered. “Even though we went about this the wrong way, we both learned a lesson here. I think…no, I know I want this.”

Bucky’s smile widened. It was his ‘Y/N smile,’ the one he reserved for you that sparked all your romantic feelings. It was the smile that made you feel like you were the most important person in his life.

Apparently, you were.

“This is probably the right time to kiss, don’t you think?” His eyes were sparkling now, with flecks of gold reflecting from the holiday lights above you. “You know, just to make it official.”

“It’s always good to make things official,” you mumbled, right before he leaned over to press his lips to yours.

When he pulled away a moment later, you were pretty sure you were giving him your best ‘Bucky smile.’

[historyrepeatsitself-phff]

Chapter Sixty-Seven

A/N: I loved writing this chapter, so I really hope you enjoy it. It’s pretty long, and I was going to split it into parts, but then I thought - you know what, who cares? I’ll just give you guys all of it at once. Now that Trooping the Colour is over, I’m posting it a day early as tomorrow it is Father’s Day and I’m also working, so I wouldn’t get a chance to post it  🎉

There is also, for the first time, a mature part to this chapter *gasp*. It starts with *M* and ends with *EM*, so don’t read that if you’re under 18 or you don’t want to (it’s nothing very graphic, though, I didn’t want to write anything too explicit). I just thought them being reunited was the best time to include a little smut. 

So with all that said, I hope you enjoy 😊💖

Emmy stood beside Claire and Edward, impatiently shuffling her feet while forever glancing at the arrival time. The last two days without Harry had dragged, but now here she was, waiting for him and the rest of the team to arrive. She was not a fan of Edward’s plan for her and Zach to convince Kian that they were having an affair, and she was hoping she could convince Edward to change it slightly, but Harry’s imminent return had forced that thought from her mind. Right now, all she cared about was seeing Harry again.

The three of them were stood talking to the wives of two of the men who had done the trek with Harry – one of them had a little boy with her, and she was telling Emmy and the two secretaries about everything that her husband had gone through, and how amazing it was to have someone like Prince Harry supporting him. His name was Luke – Emmy remembered Harry mentioning him when they’d spoken.

Emmy wasn’t paying much attention. She listened politely, and she’d already greeted and introduced herself to all the people waiting for the team to return. They were mainly families, but there was some of the organisers there too – they were eager to talk to Emmy about the trek – and there was also a camera crew. The trek had been filmed in order to make a TV documentary on it, and the BBC had sent a camera over to capture the team’s return.

That made Emmy nervous. She didn’t want someone to have Harry’s arrival on camera. Mainly because she was going to kiss the hell out of him as soon as he got there.

She was so excited. She’d barely slept the night before, so relieved for him to be coming home. She couldn’t wait to see him, to run her hands through his messy hair and over his beard, to kiss every inch of him and have him kiss her, to feel how rough his hands had become and to melt under them. To lose herself in those blue eyes.

She held her bump, listening to a lady – Christina – who was married to David, one of the guys doing the trek.

“I can’t wait for him to arrive,” Christina said. “I’ve missed him so much.”

Emmy smiled; she could relate to that. “Me too, I’ve never gone this long without him.”

“You see, I have and I still miss him,” Christina said, laughing. “I suppose you and Harry weren’t together when he was deployed, huh?”

“No,” Emmy said. She’d never even thought about that, about how all of these partners had signed up to the job expecting to have to go months without seeing their husbands and wives. She couldn’t imagine Harry being away for any longer, especially with the threat that he may never return looming over them. “I can’t imagine that.”

Christina opened her mouth to answer, but then an airport worker came to inform them that the plane was just about to land, and the families rushed to the window to watch. There were a few little kids there, and they jumped around excitedly. Emmy stayed back with Claire and Edward, suddenly feeling like she really shouldn’t be complaining that Harry had been gone for a month, when all the people here had nearly lost their loved ones after several months apart.

“You okay?” Claire asked. After all the time she’d spent with the Duchess the last month, she’d come to read her very well.

“Yeah,” Emmy said. “Just…can’t wait for him to be home.”

“Well, you don’t need to wait much longer,” Edward said, smiling. He’d been in a very good mood all morning, and Emmy wondered whether he’d missed Harry too. He and Harry certainly were used to spending a lot of time with each other.

Emmy watched anxiously as the team traipsed through the plane tunnel thing and emerged into their room, one by one embracing their wives and children. There was a young woman in the team too, and she fell into her parents’ arms, relieved. And then, Emmy caught a flash of red hair.

Harry straightened up as he followed one of the guys out of the tunnel. His hair was in disarray, messy, and now a matching beard adorned his jawline, covered his cheeks. His skin was a few shades darker, so gloriously tanned. His arms were toned beneath his t-shirt. He was laughing, his blue eyes sparkling, but as his friend greeted his wife, Harry’s gaze swept the room and found Emmy.

She couldn’t breathe, she was so excited.

He broke into a beam and crossed the room quickly, slipping between hugging people, and she met him half-way, hurrying forward and throwing her arms round him. He picked her up, cuddling her tightly, his strong arms embracing her as he nuzzled his face into her neck. She pressed into him, inhaling deeply the smell that never seemed to leave him. His beard scratched her skin, but she didn’t pull away; she dissolved in his arms, wanting to cry with the joy of having him here back with her.

He held her tightly, her bump pressed against his stomach, and he reached down to gently rub it, to feel how it had grown, to feel the flutter of a kick as his daughter readjusted herself.

“Hi,” he whispered, a smile in his voice.

“Harry-” Emmy broke off, sure she would cry. She pulled back to gaze up at him, and he beamed, cupping her cheek and brushing her cheekbone ever so gently with his thumb. “I missed you.”

He smiled. “I missed you too,” he said, then leant down and captured her mouth with his own. It wasn’t an innocent, simple kiss. His lips were eager and desperate against hers, and although he held himself back, he kept control, she could feel how he wanted her, how he wanted to kiss her endlessly, to just lose himself in the taste of her, and he could never kiss her hard enough. His beard scratched against her face, but she didn’t care. It tickled. It made her laugh into his mouth.

“Something funny?” he teased lightly, pulling away to smile.

“Your beard tickles,” she murmured, reaching up to run her hand over it. He closed his eyes and moved into her palm, desperate to feel her fingertips on his skin. “I like it.”

“You do?” he asked, smirking.

“Mm-hmm,” she said, then perched on her tip-toes, leaning up to kiss him again. Before their lips could meet, she breathed, “I can’t wait to see what it feels like somewhere else.”

He felt his veins catch fire at that, and the heat pooled at his core. Damn, he didn’t need her saying stuff like this, he was hard enough as it was.

“Harry,” someone said, and he turned, swapping his hold on Emmy’s waist for one of her hands in his. He grinned at Luke. “This is my wife, Julie.”

“Hi,” Harry said, shaking Julie’s hand. “This is Emmy.”

“Yeah, we were just talking,” Julie said, smiling at Emmy.

Now all Emmy wanted was to go home. She’d spoken to these people enough, she just wanted to go and curl up in bed with Harry and relearn every inch of his body.

Eventually, the two of them and their secretaries were in the car on the way home, with Rick driving. Emmy’s hand was in Harry’s, and Harry couldn’t stop beaming.

“So good to be home,” he said. “It was the toughest thing I’ve ever done. Way harder than when we went to the north or south pole.”

“Did you enjoy it?” Emmy asked, her head on his shoulder, her eyes on his face. She couldn’t tear her gaze away.

“Oh yeah, I loved it,” he said. “The rainforest is amazing. I wish you could’ve seen it.” He gave her fingers a squeeze.

“Well, Harry, now that you’re home, you’re a very busy man,” Edward said a while later, once they were pulling through the gates of Kensington Palace. “Lots of engagements have cropped up since you’ve been away.”

“What like?” Harry asked, as they clambered out of the car and he retrieved his bag from the boot.

“Well, there’s been requests for you to visit several countries,” Edward explained. “One of them is quite soon after the birth, so I’m going to decline that invitation. You’ve also got several Invictus events lined up, that we need to look over.”

“That sounds good,” Harry said, as the four of them gradually headed towards the entrance to KP, where they stopped so that Harry and Emmy could continue to Nottingham Cottage. “Anything else?”

“You’ve got a lot of engagements to confirm for Remembrance Week,” Claire added. “Karen sent me the list of organisations that have requested visits.”

Emmy stood there, not interested in what they were saying. She hung onto Harry’s hand and desperately wished they could just go. She just wanted to get him home and she was dying to get to bed. It had been a month, she couldn’t wait much longer.

“Okay, have you scheduled a meeting?”

“We’re meeting tomorrow,” Claire said, looking at Emmy. “Emmy knows about that.”

Harry glanced at Emmy, and Emmy smiled, pretending she knew what they were talking about. “Okay, I guess we’ll see you tomorrow, then?”

“See you tomorrow.” The two of them bid goodbye to their secretaries and started trekking over the lawn, round to where Nott Cott sat. Emmy groaned once they were out of earshot.

“God, I thought they’d never let us go!”

Harry chuckled. “Desperate to get home?”

“So desperate you wouldn’t believe it,” she said, guessing he knew what she was talking about. He grinned.

“Try me,” he said. Then, surprising her, he said, “I want you so bad right now.”

She giggled, her heart and insides fluttering with anticipation. “Well don’t hold back.”

“The second we get into that house, you better be ready,” he answered, sounding strained. She looked up, and their eyes met, both of them knowing what was to come once they were through that front door, both of them welcoming it.

Emmy unlocked the door, and Harry stepped inside before she followed.

*M*

The second it was shut, she was pushed back up against it, Harry’s lips on her, devouring her mouth, his hands on her face, holding her so he could kiss her deeply, eagerly. She gasped in surprise, and for breath, and she grabbed a fistful of his shirt to stop him from moving away.

Their kisses went so deep she couldn’t tell where she ended and he began; she swallowed his every exhale and her eyes rolled up into her head as he started to kiss down her neck, open-mouthed, desirous. His hands moved down her body, finding her hips and trying to pull them to his, trying to press his erection against her. But her bump got in the way.

He looked down in surprise, giving Emmy a chance to catch her breath. Then he laughed. “I’m not used to this being here,” he said, rubbing her swollen abdomen gently.

Emmy, however, was very used to it, and she didn’t want to linger on the fact that she was a lot fatter than before. She pulled his chin back up so his eyes met hers, and then her mouth was on his once more.

“Shit,” he muttered into her, gripping her backside and pushing her against him. She moaned out at the feeling of his hardness, reaching down to run her fingertips along its outline. Harry swore. “Fuck, Emmy, don’t do that. I wanted this to be nice. I can’t hold back.”

She smirked, grabbing a fistful of his t-shirt and pulling up. “I need you too much for this to be nice,” she gasped. “I need you.”

“I don’t want to harm the baby,” he whispered against her kisses.

“You won’t,” she said into him. “I googled it.” He laughed into her, just as she tried to pull his shirt up again. “Can you please take this off?”

He chuckled, reaching up and tugging his top off over his head. He dropped it to the floor, rejoicing as she ran her hands over him, over the strong muscles of his arms, over his tight abs. She tore her mouth away from his to look over him, at his tanned skin. God, just the sight of him made her hot inside.

“Oh wow,” she breathed, and he smirked.

“Yes?” he said.

She tore her eyes away from his body and gazed up at his face, and she looked somewhat dismayed. “I wish I could say my body had changed for the better while you’ve been away.”

“Oh Em, don’t,” he said, pulling her back to him and kissing her softly. “Look at you, you’re gorgeous. I’ve never found you sexier than I do right now.”

As though to prove it, he pinned her back against the door, his hips pressed awkwardly to hers. His arousal pushed her over the edge.

“Oh god,” she moaned, throwing herself into him and trying to unbuckle his belt. His lips were passionate and uncontrollable against hers, his hands roving over her, caressing her skin, squeezing her backside.

“Come on,” he said, pulling her towards the stairs. “I can’t wait much longer.”

She hurried after him, her hand in his as he led her up to their bedroom. At the top of the steps, he turned to her, and she was in his arms before he could realise what was happening. Their lips met, their mouths moving as one, and he lifted her into his hold, her legs curling round his waist. It was difficult, her bump prevented them from truly pressing against each other, but her arms round his neck and his hands on her backside kept her secure. He kissed down her neck, sucking lightly on her throat, nipping at her pulse, and she tipped her head back, a moan falling from her mouth.

Harry backed towards their bedroom, his lips never leaving her, and kicked the door open. Emmy was too lost in the taste of him that she didn’t notice until he’d gently laid her down on the bed, crouching over her. She ran her hands over his bare chest.

“Fuck, you’re so hot,” she gasped, her breath coming in gasps as he undid her blouse. “Oh god, I want you so bad.”

“Two seconds, baby,” he said into her lips, kissing her deeply as he threw her shirt to the floor. Then he unclasped her bra, and as her breasts bounced free he groaned. “Shit, look at you.” He took one of them hungrily into his mouth, and her moans rose an octave, her back arching slightly, pushing the nipple harder against his tongue. He watched her, entranced by the pleasure on her face, as he swirled his tongue around her hard bud, sucking lightly. She groaned louder.

“Harry,” she gasped. “No, please. I need you.”

He abandoned her breast and moved back up to her mouth, kissing her again, wanting to feel that pleasure leak into their kiss. He felt her hands moving, tugging on his belt, wanting rid of his jeans, and he sat back, happy to comply. She watched, her lip tugged between her teeth cheekily, as he unbuckled his belt and threw his trousers to the floor. Then, his eyes going to her face, he pushed down his underwear. He watched her, seeing those blue eyes widen in anticipation at the sight of his sex, the desire burning in her blue depths. He moved back over her, and she tangled one hand in his hair as their lips met once more. He reached up and began to toy with one of her bare breasts just as he felt her fingers curl round his member. His breath hissed through clenched teeth as she began to rub him.

“Fuck,” he whispered, eyes closing. Emmy laughed lightly, loving how she could still control him even with the slightest touch. “Oh fuck, Em.”

She leant up and kissed his jaw just as her pace on him quickened. She felt him swallow beneath her lips.

“No,” he said, then gently moved her hand away from him. Her eyes widened in surprise, but before she could speak he’d made quick work of her own jeans and they, too, were on the floor somewhere. “God, I want you so bad.”

“I want you,” she gasped, feeling cool air douse her throbbing sex just as the sound of tearing material met her ears. “Harry?!”

“You didn’t like those pants, did you?” he asked against her mouth, disregarding the torn knickers. “Thought not.”

She giggled lightly, settling herself back on the pillows as she felt him nudge her legs open. It was going to be more difficult than normal, only because her bump would be in the way and would make it hard for him to kiss her. But neither of them minded. He reached over and took her hand in his, entwining their fingers. With his other, he ran a finger up and down her moist folds, focusing on that little bundle of nerves just above her entrance, drawing a high-pitched moan from her. Then he placed himself ready, and, with her blue eyes fixed on his, he pushed into her.

It was messy. It was never going to be anything but, not with the two of them so desperate and aroused. It was fast and sexy with hands everywhere and moans mixing with his groans, profanities thrown around, pushing each other closer and closer to the edge. He’d missed her so much, missed the sound of her gasps, the feel of her tight around him. He’d missed holding her in his arms, watching her as she fell over the edge, as she screamed and writhed under his hands.

The first time was intense, quick, full of arousal and desire.

The second was slower, sweeter, full of loving kisses and passionate whispers, with Harry’s beard tickling her and her fingers teasing him lightly. Eventually, they ended the night cuddled into each other, with Harry’s hand resting on Emmy’s, and Emmy’s hand resting on her bump.

“Sorry you had to see that, princess,” he murmured afterwards, his chest still heaving from exhaustion.

Emmy laughed lightly. “I love you so much.”

“And I love you,” he said, pressing his lips to the back of her neck. That sent a blissful shiver down her spine, and she giggled tiredly, exhausted. He truly had worn her out.

She yawned. “Sleepy now.”

“You better get some rest,” he whispered, kissing her again. “Round 2 when we wake up.”

And although she knew he was teasing, the thought of what awaited her in the morning did not help her in getting to sleep.

*EM*

Emmy awoke to Harry kissing along her bare shoulder. Somehow, even though she’d been asleep, she was already burning with desire to love him again, and she rolled over to face him and kiss him.

“Sorry,” she said, grinning. “Morning breath.”

He barked a laugh, pulling her tightly to him. “I don’t care,” he said. “I never want to leave this bed.”

Half an hour later, as Emmy curled against his chest and Harry relived the next chapter, the thought of their day ahead crept into her mind.

“You know how we’re meeting Ed and Claire?” Emmy murmured, as his fingers trailed through her hair.

“Hmm.”

“I was wondering, what was your reaction to Edward’s plan?”

“The one where you’re having an affair with Zach?” Harry said, his tone immediately bitter. “I hate it.”

“Me too.”

“You do?” he said, surprised. “I mean, I hate it because I hate Zach. Why do you…?”

“Because I don’t want to have to pretend to be in love with him,” she said shyly. “I mean, look how difficult I found pretending to be in love with you.”

“True, you were incredibly awkward,” he replied, throwing her a grin. Then he sighed, “I wish there was something else to do but I think Ed’s right-”

“What if…?” She trailed off, hesitating, then continued. “What if…he doesn’t see me and Zach having an affair? What if he overhears me telling Zach that the affair can’t carry on? That I don’t want to do it anymore, now that you’re home? I could pretend that it was just because I was lonely.”

He hesitated, looking at her, frowning, then said, “How good an actress do you really think you are?”

She rolled her eyes at his teasing. “It would work, wouldn’t it? And that way me and Zach don’t need to get lovey-dovey, but it’s juicy enough gossip that Kian would want to leak it.”

Harry was silent for a while, then finally he spoke. “I think it’s a good idea. I certainly don’t want you having to get closer to him than you need to.”

“Do you really not trust me?”

“I trust you, I don’t trust Zach,” he answered, then kissed her temple. “I like the idea. You can be cold and rude and horrible and he can be heartbroken. It’s a win win for me.” He was grinning now.

“Do you think Ed will like it?”

“To be honest, I’m surprised by Edward’s suggestion. I think this whole rat saga has been tiring him out,” Harry said. “I’m sure he’ll agree to this new plan. We can run it by him later.”

Three hours later, Emmy found herself walking over to Kensington Palace for their meeting with Edward and Claire, hand in hand with Harry. The palace staff who saw them shouted their greetings, asked Harry how the trip had gone, and everyone noticed how good a mood he was in. Everyone knew – they’d had sex last night.

They entered the office together, and Harry grinned. “Morning,” he said cheerily.

“Morning,” Edward said, as Harry pulled out a chair for Emmy then sat in the one beside her. “Sleep well?”

Harry and Emmy glanced at each other, and Emmy blushed deeply as Harry said, “Best night I’ve had in ages.”

Claire looked between them, and smirked. “Well, try and stay focused today.”

Emmy made a mock-disgusted sound in the back of her throat. “As if I don’t always pay attention.”

Harry laughed lightly, turning to her, feasting her eyes on her. “I don’t know, I think I’m going to find it quite difficult.” He entwined his fingers through hers, and she leant her head lightly on his shoulder.

“Hey!” Claire said. “Stop it! We have important stuff to talk about!”

Harry slowly rose his eyes to her, unamused. “We’re listening.”

She glared at him. “Just because you’ve been away doesn’t mean you can sass me, Clarence,” she snapped playfully.

He barked a laugh, then sat up straight and saluted. “Yes ma’am. Sorry ma’am.”

Edward cleared his throat. “If we can try and stay on topic.”

“God, guys, just hurry up, I want to go back home,” Harry complained.

Edward shot Harry a look, and Harry instantly silenced his whining. “Well, Harry, we’ve got a few things we need to discuss. I think the most important matter to address – your grandmother has requested you visit Denmark in December-”

“December?!” Emmy quoted before Harry could answer. She stared at the secretary, then glanced at Harry before shaking her head. “No no no no no. No way. No way! You are not leaving me again!” Her voice rose slightly in panic.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Harry said, giving her hands a gentle, reassuring squeeze. “I’m not going anywhere.” Then he turned to Edward and glared. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Edward sighed. “I know, I told Mark that. But he wouldn’t take no for an answer. I think you need to speak to your grandmother about it.”

“Damn right I will,” Harry muttered, snaking an arm along the back of Emmy’s chair. She moved slightly into him. “What else?”

“Well, there’s a few engagements you need to look over,” Edward said. “They’re all scheduled for after your two-week paternity leave, roughly. I need you to approve them.”

“Anything good?” Harry asked, just as Edward handed him the list.

“WellChild at Christmas,” Edward answered. “And Heads Together.”

“Sure, sign me up,” he replied, grinning. Edward rolled his eyes.

“Also, while you’re speaking to your grandmother about the visit to Denmark, you’d do good to ask her about your beard,” he said. “And whether it’s staying.”

“I’m not getting rid of it just for Granny!” Harry protested, outraged.

“Well, if she demands you do, are you really going to argue?”

He pouted, looking like a spoilt child, and Emmy giggled lightly at his expression.

“I like the beard,” she said, reaching up to brush it with her fingertips. She looked at Edward. “Sounds like you don’t.”

Claire snickered. “You’re probably just jealous Harry’s got more hair than you.”

Edward rolled his eyes at the teasing. “You both also need to go over your schedule for remembrance week.” He dropped his eyes to his tablet, looking concerned. “Emmy, you have an awful lot of engagements.”

“Claire and I already spoke about this,” Emmy said. “I’ve got a whole week before the due date, it should be fine.”

“I don’t know,” Harry said, absently running his hand up and down her arm. “We don’t want to put too much stress on the baby.”

“As opposed to all the stress I just went through?” she asked skeptically. “It’s fine, I’ll do the engagements. Last thing I’m going to want is to be sat at home all day.”

“Well, if you’re sure,” Edward said, looking concerned. “Now, Harry, you also have a lot of paperwork that you need to sort through – e-mails, letters. Fanmail.” He grinned mockingly.

Harry groaned. “Ugh, really?”

“Mm-hmm,” he said. “Harry, I’ve already forwarded you a list of people you need to answer in order. I kept in contact with most of your correspondents, apologizing for your delayed responses, but now you’re home they’re going to want to hear from you.”

He nodded, running a hand over his furry jaw. “Okay, anything else?”

“Well, I think we need to discuss what’s happening,” Edward said slowly, tapping away on his tablet. “I mean, with Kian. Where we’re going to do it.”

Harry’s face contorted with anger, but he said nothing.

“Um,” Emmy said, almost nervously, for she had had an idea concerning it. “I’ve had two ideas. Guy’s, um, Guy’s organized a party on Saturday to celebrate Harry coming home. What if we get Chris to take Kian, and then we arrange it so that Kian overhears us talking.”

“I haven’t been informed of this party,” Edward said, confused.

“It’s on there,” Claire said, leaning over to point. “I added it. It’s at Guy’s house.”

“Sounds like the perfect opportunity,” Edward mused, reading the details. “Is Chris going?”

“I think so,” Emmy said.

“If not, I can ask Guy to invite him,” Harry said quietly.

“And, um, Edward, I have a better idea, I think, on finding out if Kian is the rat,” she said. “What if we-”

“Why don’t we talk about this tomorrow once I’ve spoken to Zach?” Edward interrupted her easily, although his rudeness was surprising. She frowned at him, wondering why he had stopped her from speaking.

“But I have a different idea-”

Edward gave her a look, and beneath the table Harry took her hand, gentling soothing her. She frowned, so confused. It was almost as if they didn’t want to discuss it. Why?!

“So I suppose that’s the plan then,” Edward said. “Emmy, you speak to Chris, make sure Kian’s going and then we’ll meet and discuss the finer details, discuss what it is that you’re going to have him believe.”

Harry rolled his eyes. “You love a good plan, don’t you, Ed?”

“Well, it’s got us this far, hasn’t it?” he replied, smirking. “Anyway, that’s it, I think. You’re free to go.”

“Do you guys have any plans for your first day back?” Claire asked, as the duke and duchess got to their feet.

“It’s a nice day,” Harry said. “Perfect weather for staying in bed.”

Emmy blushed as she rolled her eyes. “Isn’t he such a romantic?” she said dryly.

He tangled his fingers with hers and led the way from the office, both bidding goodbye to the secretaries as they went. Before long, they were out in the sunshine heading back over to Nottingham Cottage.

“I’m so happy right now,” he said, grinning enormously as the sun beat down on them.

“I’m not,” she said, pouting. “Why exactly was Edward acting so weird? It was like he was avoiding actually mentioning what’s going to happen. I wanted to see whether he liked my plan but he just kept interrupting me-!”

Harry sighed. “That was my fault, actually. I asked him to keep it to himself. The less people who know about our plan, the better.”

“But today? There was only us and Claire there. Who exactly were you keeping it from?”

He looked at her pointedly. It took a moment for her to realise what he meant.

“Claire?!” she gasped, horrified. “She doesn’t know?! You think she’s the leak?!”

“Not at all,” Harry said. “But she’s someone on the inside who’s known about everything that’s been leaked. Even the POs didn’t know everything, they didn’t have access to the baby names, but she did. She could be framing your friends.”

Emmy stared at him, feeling her heart breaking. Her secretary was the last person in the world, aside from Harry and Edward, that she truly felt like she could trust. When would all this deceit end?!

“I don’t think it’s her,” he said gently. “But I asked Ed to not tell her the plan just in case, okay?” He squeezed her fingers gently, pulling her from her thoughts. “Just in case.”

“Just in case,” she repeated in a murmur, upset now.

“Hey,” he said, dropping his eyes to her face, his blue orbs wide and concerned. “Stop thinking about it. You look so beautiful, I hope you’re ready for what’s awaiting you as soon as we get home.”

“I don’t know about that,” she said glumly. “Besides, in the daylight you’ll be able to see how fat I am.”

He laughed. “Em, that’s not fat. That’s our child.”

“That is not the correct answer,” she said, but his teasing softened her. She sighed, then smiled, reaching up to kiss him. She needed to feel his hands, his lips. She needed to feel something to distract her from this new information.

He stopped walking so that their lips could meet and their breaths could entwine. His hands moved to her baby bump, and he rubbed it gently.

“Have I got much bigger since you left?” she asked.

“You have, actually,” he said, resuming their walk home. “I wondered if I’d be able to notice it, and I can. It’s a bit further out, a lot rounder.” He threw her a grin as he reached down to pat the bump gently. “I love it. It means she’s getting bigger.”

“Hmm, nearly 7 months gone,” she said, then made a face. “Well, six and a half.”

“Round it up to seven.”

“Mmm, maybe not,” she said, laughing nervously. “I don’t want to think about how little time we’ve got and how little we’ve done.”

“Little? What else have we got to do?”

“We need to decorate the nursery!”

That hadn’t occurred to him. “Well…yeah…but apart from that?”

“We need to buy baby clothes,” she added. “We need to arrange the birth with the Lindo Wing. We need to go to antenatal classes. We need to talk about names-!”

“Hey, slow down,” he said, grinning. “One step at a time. Let’s just enjoy me being home, yeah?”

She raised an eyebrow, smirking. “And how do you plan to do that?” she teased, as they reached Nott Cott and Harry pulled out his front door key.

“How about we find out, huh?” he mused, leaning down and kissing her again. She could feel the promise in this one, the intent; she could tell it was leading somewhere, and she was so desperate to find out where.

As soon as the door was closed she lost herself in his lips once more.

Emmy’s heels sounded her arrival in the kitchen, and Harry looked up from his phone to see her enter, losing his breath as he did so. She was wearing a loosely fitted green dress, with a relatively low-cut neckline which allowed him a peak at her cleavage and a waistline that hugged her bump while still enhancing her figure seductively. His jaw slackened slightly as he feasted on the sight of her, and she blushed, ducking her head as she bit her lip.

“Um, hi,” she said, tucking her hair awkwardly behind her ear.

“Hey,” he said breathlessly, crossing the room to stand before her. “You look amazing.”

She fought a delighted giggle. “Thank you. You don’t think my dress is a bit tight?”

“Not tight enough,” he muttered, his hands going to her waist and gently pushing her backwards until her back met the worktop. Her breath fluttered out of her in surprise. “Damn, Em, you look gorgeous.”

She laughed lightly, her arms reaching up to cross at the back of his neck. She tipped her head back, her lips parted and welcoming his. She could taste his breath; she inhaled just as his mouth moved down to envelop hers.

His hands roved over her, feeling the curves that he’d missed and the new curves that he was still learning to love. His tongue teased hers as he clutched her to him, kneading her skin, squeezing her. She sighed into him, her hands moving to grip the front of his blazer.

This was it. She was actually melting. He’d finally stopped her ability to function.

“Harry,” she said against his lips, sounding more like a sigh, and she wished she could just stay there with him, wondering what else his hands could do with her up against the worktop. “Harry, we have to go.”

“No we don’t,” he mumbled, not pulling away.

She giggled into him, her heart thumping uncontrollably, and then she gently pushed his mouth away from her own. “Harry, we need to go.”

“It’s only my family,” he said dismissively, covering up his red cheeks and disorientated eyes very well with his cocky grin. “Who cares if we’re late?”

“I do,” she said, trying to edge away from him. His hips kept her pinned there, and she could feel his hardon – it was making it very difficult for her to think coherent thoughts. “Harry…” she added warningly.

He stepped away, rubbing the back of his neck and taking a few deep breaths. She was right. They had dinner to go to. Dinner with his family. They couldn’t get out of it. They certainly couldn’t stay there and have sex in the kitchen again.

Damn, now the thought of sex in the kitchen was on his mind.

“Let’s go,” she said, perching on her tip-toes to kiss him gently, then she stepped back and grinned, almost as though she knew just how filthy the thoughts were that were floating round his head. She did know – the same were echoing in her mind. “I’ll just go get my purse.”

By the time Emmy had returned, Harry had composed himself, and he reached for her hand. “You look beautiful, have I told you that yet?”

She threw him a roll of her eyes, smiling. “I think it got lost when you nearly screwed me in the kitchen.”

“I think so, yeah.” He chuckled shamelessly, leading her out the door and then pausing to lock it. “Excited for tonight?”

“Excited isn’t the word I’d use.”

He threw her a pout. “You’re not still nervous around my family, are you?”

“Not individually,” she said. “Well, your grandparents yes. But when all of them are together…like tonight…it just freaks me out a bit.”

He huffed, disappointed that she still wasn’t comfortable with them all, as his fingers re-found hers and they began their walk to the car park. “You don’t need to be nervous, you know that. They all adore you.”

“Honestly, Harry, you are never going to understand what it’s like to walk into a room and have the entire royal family there staring at you,” she said simply. He couldn’t argue with that.

Rick and Zach were waiting for them by the car and Harry threw them a smile. He hadn’t seen Zach since Zach had learnt of their plan to expose Kian as the rat. Harry gave the PO a curt nod, dislike evident on his face. Zach simply grinned nonchalantly, and his smile swept to Emmy, too.

“I hate him,” Harry said, once they were in the car and the POs had boarded the Range Rover behind them.

Emmy rolled her eyes. “You’re such a guy.”

“Sorry, should I be offended by that?”

“You’re being petty, you don’t like him because he’s friends with me.”

“Exactly,” Harry said, as they pulled out of the gates and onto London streets. “He’s your protection officer. Not your friend.”

“Stop being a spoilsport, so I get on with him? I get on with Kev too. And all your POs. just because Zach is closer to me in age than you are-”

“It just worries me,” Harry said. “How eager he was to help us out with this.”

“He wasn’t eager, Edward just said he was willing,” she argued. “Because it’s kind of his job. He’s just a friend, Harry, stop fretting.”

Harry wanted to reply, but he didn’t want to start a fight, not with a nice evening with his family ahead of them. He also didn’t want to voice what was actually worrying him – what if, during this whole plan thing, Emmy realised that she could actually get other guys, not just Harry? What if she realised that someone like Zach would eagerly jump into bed with her? What if she decided that she wanted to play the field a bit? What if she decided that she’d had enough of Harry?

But there was no way he would tell her that. So he let the discussion end abruptly, keeping his eyes on the road and trying to stop his attention from drifting.

Emmy could sense he was preoccupied, probably by Zach, so she tried to change the subject after a while. “Are you telling your family about our little girl today?” she asked lightly, her hands resting on her bump.

“About her being a little girl?” he said, throwing her a smile. “I was planning too, yeah.”

“Do you think they’ll be offended?” she said. “Because we had to lie to them.”

“Not at all, I’m going to explain the situation first,” he explained, rushing slightly to get through an amber light. “And then I’m going to tell them she’s a she, and then the whole ‘you lied to us’ is going to be forgotten because they’re going to be so overjoyed.” He ended it with a large, almost sarcastic, grin on his face.

Emmy couldn’t help but smile at the delight in his eyes, and her eyes lingered on his face as he drove them towards Buckingham Palace. Her gaze roved over his deep blue eyes, down to the ginger hair that covered his jawline. His beard seemed to change his entire appearance, but only for the better. He’d trimmed it into something tamer, something that looked like it should be there, that morning and it looked even better now. Before he’d been handsome, but he hadn’t looked that much different from when he’d been younger, in his early twenties. His beard made him look older, tougher, hotter. Emmy loved it. She felt warmth starting to spread through her just by looking at it.

“What are you staring at?” he asked eventually, throwing her a shy glance.

“Your beard,” she said.

He broke into a grin. “Oh yeah?”

“I love it,” she added. “Even if your grandmother doesn’t like it, please don’t shave it. I think it suits you so much.”

“I’m glad you like it, I do,” he said. “It’s easier to manage too. Saves me having to shave every day.”

“Hmm, more time for you to spend in bed with me,” she said cheekily.

He laughed. “Do you ever just think back to this time last year? We hadn’t even slept together at that point.”

“No,” she mused. “I was waiting for your birthday. Don’t know how I’m going to top that this year.”

“You don’t need to,” he said, throwing her a smile. “I think the best present ever will be here a few months later.”

Emmy dropped her gaze to her bump, rubbing it gently, knowing exactly what he was talking about. “I think you’re right.”

They arrived at Buckingham Palace and were welcomed into the courtyard, where they parked beside William and Kate’s range rover. Just as Emmy was pulling herself out of the car, another vehicle entered the courtyard, and they beeped cheekily.

She squinted, trying to see who it was, but Harry laughed.

“Mike,” he said, shaking his head.

Mike and Zara hopped out of the car, Zara moving to unbuckle Mia from the car seat, and Mike came over to greet them.

“Harry!” he cried, grinning and pulling his cousin-in-law into a hug. “Damn, look at that beard. How’d it go, how was it?!”

“It was great,” he said. “Tough, so tough. But it was amazing. All the guys were incredible.”

“Hey Emmy,” Zara said, attracting her attention as she sat Mia on her hip. “Woah, you’re getting so big! How long now?”

“Well, I’m nearly seven months gone,” Emmy said, giving Mia a little tickle before the two women followed the men into the palace. “So, just over two months, I guess?”

“God, that’s scary,” Zara said, making a face.

“You’re telling me.”

Zara laughed lightly. “You must feel so much better now that Harry’s home, though?”

Emmy’s eyes flickered to her husband in front of them, feasting on the sight of his long body, his hands casually tucked in his pockets. “I definitely do. It was a long month.”

Harry turned round then, looking to check on her, and she smiled back at him as he waited, reaching for her hand.

“Aw, look at you two lovebirds,” Mike teased, smirking.

“Mike,” Zara chastised, laughing, as Emmy blushed shyly.

“Hey! Wait!”

The four of them turned to see Beatrice at the far end of the corridor, waving enthusiastically. Dave was just behind her, laughing.

“Wait for us!” she called, hurrying to catch up. Harry laughed affectionately at his cousin.

“Wow, you missed me, huh?” he joked.

“I actually did,” Bea laughed, throwing herself into his arms for a tight hug. “Did you miss me too?!”

“Not really,” he said cheekily.

“Oh!” she gasped, outraged, then shoved him away from her as he and Zara laughed. “You lie, you did really. I can tell. Besides, I took care of your wife while you were away, you should be more grateful.”

Emmy raised an eyebrow, laughing. “Bea, I don’t mean to burst your bubble or anything but you saw me once-”

“Twice!” Beatrice protested, as Harry chuckled, amused at Emmy’s words. “I saw you at my birthday meal too!”

“I’m surprised you remember,” Mike chortled. “You were so hungover that day.”

Beatrice giggled. “I was, Granny was so unhappy with me. I could feel her glaring, it was so funny.”

“It wasn’t,” Dave said, reaching them. “You do realise that I was getting more glares than you, right? I think she blamed me for your drinking.”

“Learn to control your woman, Dave,” Mike said sarcastically, grinning.

“She’s a force to be reckoned with,” Dave replied simply, and he threw Beatrice an adoring smile as she rolled her eyes at him.

Together they made their way to The Queen’s private drawing room, down the corridor from her private dining hall where they would be having dinner. Voices were already audible as they approached.

“Uncoo Harry!” George squealed, surprised and delighted at the sight of his uncle as Harry entered the room. Harry’s heart burst with joy as he crouched down and scooped the little boy into his arms.

“Hey, George, hello!” he said, tickling him, spinning him upside down. Emmy saw Kate looking concerned at that, but her sister-in-law said nothing, merely getting to her feet to pull Harry into a welcome-home hug. “Hi, Kate.”

Emmy smiled at the sight as Harry’s father and grandparents also got up to hug him in greeting, and she was so distracted that she jumped slightly as an arm snaked round her shoulders. Sensing that he had startled her, William pulled away.

“Sorry,” he said, grinning sheepishly. “Hi.”

Emmy laughed lightly and smiled, hugging him. “Hey, William.”

“You okay?” he asked.

“I’m good, you?”

“Yeah, I bet you’re happy he’s home now, huh?” he said, smiling.

“You talking about me?” Harry said, from across the room, smirking.

William rolled his eyes. “Oh you’re still as annoying as ever,” he replied, with mock-disappointment in his voice. Harry came over as William added, “Good to have you back.”

“Thanks, good to be back,” he said, hugging his brother. “And, thanks for, you know-” He coughed, feeling awkward, but then smiled at William. “For everything.”

Both their eyes flickered to Emmy, and she scowled. “If you’re talking about me-”

“Now what gave you that idea?” Harry teased gently, an arm snaking round her waist as he led her away from William. “Granny wants to see you,” he murmured in her ear.

“Emmy, dear,” Elizabeth said, beaming. “How are you?”

“I’m…okay,” Emmy said, smiling as she kissed Elizabeth’s cheek in greeting. “So happy that Harry’s home.”

“Of course, how have your first two days home been?” she asked Harry, her eyes shining as she took in her grandson.

“Oh, it’s been fabulous,” Harry said, grinning. “Emmy and I have had a lot to catch up on.” While Elizabeth smiled, nodding, Emmy felt her cheeks growing hot. She knew exactly what Harry was referring to, exactly what they’d been doing the last two days. It was safe to say that they’d barely left their bed, let alone their house.

“And you have a beard now, hmm?” Elizabeth said. “I’m not sure what to make of it.”

“Aw, Granny, don’t be a spoilsport,” Peter said, laughing; he’d got up from his conversation with his mum to come and greet them. “Don’t you think he looks sexy?”

Harry rolled his eyes at his cousin’s teasing. “To be honest, Granny, Emmy likes it, so your opinion is officially second on my list.”

Emmy felt herself blushing again, this time out of fear that Elizabeth would not appreciate being second-most important, but Mike interrupted.

“And I bet it’s safe to say that Emmy loves it, am I right?” He elbowed her gently, grinning, and she couldn’t help but laugh at his cheeky expression.

“Ah gah, mee lota!” A high-pitched babble came from behind them, and Harry and Emmy both turned to see Charlotte there, tugging on her uncle’s trousers, wanting a cuddle. When she realised she had their attention, she peered up at them, her chubby cheeks splitting into a beam.

“Charlotte!” Harry cried in delight, lifting her into his strong arms and sitting her there. She giggled, nuzzling her brown hair into his chest and cuddling as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. Emmy smiled, biting her lip slightly at the sight of him with her. Charlotte looked so safe in his arms, and he looked so at home with her – Emmy felt her heart swell in anticipation of seeing him with their daughter, with his own little princess. “Have you been good? Have you been a good girl for mummy and daddy? Your hair’s grown so long, yes it has!”

Emmy moved away then, taking a seat beside Camilla, and Camilla smiled warmly at her. She never spoke much to her stepmother-in-law, mainly because Camilla always stayed quiet at these sort of events, and they didn’t see each other very often otherwise.

“How are you, dear?” Camilla asked her. “The little one’s getting big now.”

“Yes,” Emmy said, cupping her bump affectionately. “She kicks a lot now.”

Camilla’s eyes widened. “She?”

Shit. “Oh, um, or he.”

She smiled knowingly. “Don’t worry, Emmy, I won’t tell anyone.”

Emmy breathed a sigh of relief. “To be honest, I think Harry’s planning on telling everyone tonight anyway. But please don’t spoil the surprise.”

Camilla laughed lightly. “Don’t worry, I won’t. But congratulations.”

“Thank you,” Emmy said breathlessly, then laughed. “It’s…becoming very scary.”

“I bet, that’s perfectly normal.”

“We have so much that we still need to do.”

“Don’t worry, you have Harry here with you now.”

“That’s true,” Emmy said, then exhaled. “You have no idea how good it is to have him back.”

“I know he was very worried about leaving you, you did such a good job on your own, you know,” Camilla said.

“I don’t know about that. I fainted, I slept a lot and I had no motivation to do anything,” Emmy said, realising as she voiced it aloud how terribly she’d coped.

“But you got through it,” Camilla said. “And now he’s back and you can focus again.”

Edward and Sophie’s arrival, with Louise and James, signalled that it was time to move into the dining room, and Emmy followed anxiously, not knowing where she was going or where she would be sitting. Luckily, Harry knew she’d be fretting.

“There you are,” he said, waiting for her out in the corridor. “Wondered where you’d got to.”

“I was talking to Camilla,” she explained, entwining her fingers with his. “Can’t believe you didn’t see me, I’m quite easy to spot.”

“Mmm, that dress is rather distracting,” he mused huskily, pressing a kiss to her temple as he spoke. His tone sent a shiver down her spine, and she resorted to teasing to try and brush it off.

“I was referring to how fat I am,” she said, rolling her eyes playfully.

Harry sighed as they followed the family down the corridor to the dining room. “Em, how many times? It’s not fat, it’s baby.”

“Hmm. But it kind of is fat too.”

“For the record, I’ve never found you more beautiful than I do right now,” he said honestly, his blue eyes piercing into her as she turned her gaze to him. He was giving her such a sincere look that her knees went weak.

Behind them, Mike made a gagging noise. Emmy giggled weakly, as Harry threw him a scowl.

In the room, Emmy took her seat next to Harry, with Zara on her other side and Beatrice opposite her. She didn’t speak much as they were served their starters – some sort of soup which Emmy didn’t like much – and then as everyone enjoyed their drinks while waiting for the main course, Harry cleared his throat.

“I’m really glad you all came tonight,” he said, once all of his family were listening. “When Granny told me she’d organised this meal, I knew it was the perfect time to speak to you all, because there are some things Emmy and I want to tell you.”

“Are you making a speech?” Peter teased.

“Hope it’s as good as his best man speech,” Mike quipped from across the table.

Harry threw them both a roll of his eyes. “Now, I’ve been led to believe that Emmy told you all what names we’d chosen for our little baby.”

“Oh yes!” Zara said.

“Such cute names!” Beatrice nearly squealed.

Elizabeth smiled, then frowned. “Oh no, have you changed your mind?”

“I thought it was a bit soon,” Anne added. “You really don’t need to rush into these decisions, you know.”

“No, no,” Harry said. “You see, we were never actually going to name our baby those names. We told you them as part of a plan we had to figure out who the person is that’s been leaking stories about us.”

The table was silent as they all absorbed what Harry was saying – he hadn’t trusted them.

Emmy ducked her head shyly, embarrassed. She could feel Elizabeth staring at her, and she was too scared to meet her eye and find out if it was a glare.

“We divided the people we know into four groups,” Harry explained. “All of you, Emmy’s family, my friends and Emmy’s friends, and we told each group a different set of names. That way we could identify in which group the leak was.”

“You thought it was us?” Zara breathed, sounding offended.

“Not for a second,” Harry replied, his eyes shining with sincerity. “But we had to be thorough.”

That seemed to break most of the tension in the room. Emmy chanced a glance up, only to find Elizabeth was glaring at her. Why?! Did she think this was her fault?!

“So the baby’s not going to be called Albert or Rose?” Charles said slowly, sounding disappointed.

“Afraid not,” Harry said, smiling sheepishly. “But we do have some other news which may make up for that.”

The entire table was listening again.

Harry turned to Emmy, and he was smiling so wide, so excited to tell them, that she couldn’t help but smile encouragingly back. “We’re having a little girl.”

Around the table delighted cries and exclamations met his words, and several people jumped up to come round and hug the couple, wishing them congratulations, telling them how amazing this was. Beatrice squeezed Emmy tightly, chastising her for not telling her sooner, and Peter gave Emmy a tight hug, saying he was happy for them both.

“They were all so happy,” Harry exclaimed delightedly as he and Emmy crossed the courtyard a few hours later, heading for their car.

“Most of them, yeah,” she agreed, smiling half-heartedly. The sight of Elizabeth’s glare had been playing on her mind all evening.

“What do you mean?” he asked, frowning at her.

“Did you not see the way your grandmother glared at me when you told them that you’d lied to them all?” she said, looking upset. “Almost like that was my fault.”

“Aw, just ignore her, Emmy,” Harry said lightly. “I expect she’s just mad because I said your opinion was more important than hers.”

“Yeah, about that-” she began, ready to tell him off for doing so.

“Hey, Em, can we just forget it?” he said, bending slightly in front of her so that they were on eye-level. He was beaming. “Tonight was such a good night. And we’re having a little baby girl, remember? Can we just focus on that for tonight, please?”

Emmy wanted to argue, she wanted to insist they talk about this, she wanted him to reassure her she was being stupid. But she swallowed all of that confusion and nodded, forcing a smile. “Of course.”

He pulled her to him, capturing her mouth with his own, and his delight leaked in to the kiss, his lips curved up into a smile the whole time. His excitement was tangible. Emmy couldn’t help but smile back.

She tried to force the thought of Elizabeth hating her to the back of her mind, she tried not to think about it.

But then she reached the conclusion that if anyone had a good reason to hate anyone else, she had a good reason to hate Elizabeth. Elizabeth had forced her into an unwanted marriage. Elizabeth had demanded they have a baby when neither were ready.

Elizabeth did not get to glare at her.

[missallycat]

Rory’s commitment issues and Logan’s proposal

I’ve been wondering around when we fans over analyze the proposal back in the end of season 7. Some of us wish she had said yes, some of us know she had to say no. So I thought I’d give it a shot and write it long to give my opinion on why Rory is still (even in the revival) a commitmentphobe and really wasn’t ready then to marry him. 

Warning: this is going to be long! ;)

I think the proposal shouldn’t have happened because the Logan Huntzberger we know and love from all the previous seasons of the show wouldn’t have proposed without discussing marriage first the two of them, he wouldn’t have proposed in front of a bunch of strange ladies from the DAR on the graduation party thrown by the grandparents, he would have made a grand gesture yes but just for them. maybe using the help of the guys of the LDB but nothing as public as it was. I think it was rushed as a way to break them up and make the focus (forcibly IMO) lay only on the girls. I think that the Logan we know and love would have asked her to go with him yes, but he’d have probably proposed later down the road because he wanted to show her the world, he wanted her to have the world and share it all with her. No matter what, he loved her more than anyone, simple as that.

I’m going to try to break down the main arguments around the proposal and the refusal of it so if you wish, keep on, it’s about to get interesting!

He said he’d go wherever she went how dare he turn the tables on her when he said he’d join her! How dare he take the job in California!

Actually they agreed they would factor each other in but in reality, as Paris pointed out, Rory wasn't willing or really ready to factor him in (”carry that thought out, would you go with him?”). Yes he said (very clearly) for this one you make your decision based on what you want. That was when she was debating between the projo or waiting for the Reston fellowship. He said clearly “if you go to New York maybe I'll go live in New York if you go to Providence maybe I'll go live in Providence”. She got neither, she was up in the air she had NO job and no nothing, no idea what to do next except apply for whatever job that would take her. She initially considered interviewing for San Francisco papers, when they were shopping for her suit with Lorelai, Rory said so, and this was before her interview with the ProJo, having the possibility of applying to the fellowship and having already scheduled the interview with the Providence Journal she was still looking so she wanted whatever paper would have her. Thing is, after she turned down the ProJo and the fellowship didn’t come through, she had nothing, she was up in the air and he got this fantastic offer. If things had been the other way around he WOULD have gone with her, but she didn't have anything! And is not like he wanted her to come and twiddle her thumbs daily until he got home from work. He wanted her with him so they could find a life together so they could work and live together in the same place. Was it so outrageous that him having a good thing and her having nothing yet, he wanted her to go and try out luck for work there in the same city, with him? Why was it only ok if Logan was the one to do that and not Rory?

He had her life already mapped and planned out for her, without even consulting her! The house, the avocado tree, the papers, he wouldn’t even consult her

He was throwing ideas up in the air, he wanted to tell her when his job was a sure thing after all her false starts he probably didn’t want her to be sad about him not getting something as she had, All those “plans” were just ideas, yes enthusiastic, impulsive ideas that perhaps he could have discussed with her first but they weren’t plans set in stone, the house wasn’t rented, the living arrangements hadn’t been decided he was throwing ideas and she had considered before wanting the fellowship in the Times, she had considered going to interviews in San Francisco, something they must have discussed, why is it such horrible thing to suggest potential jobs when she didn’t have any? She could have agreed to go to him and if the Obama thing happened he would have supported her going, who’s to say he wouldn’t? He introduced her to Hugo, he praised constantly her work, he encouraged her to write for Hugo, considering those why would he be against her getting a writing job? The Logan we knew of previous episodes even in that same season would have gone to her, would have done anything to make it work during the campaign.

He didn’t love her enough that’s why he gave her the ultimatum. Ultimatums aren’t love

I've seen these episodes more times than I can count. He loved her enough to follow her if she found her passion but she wasn't willing to follow him? I think that's what hurt him the most and drove the ultimatum, because she could have gone anywhere, she had the freedom and the possibilities yet she was so selfish because she wanted everything her own way. I love Rory, I identify with her a lot and I love that she seems more human with her flaws but fact is she is very selfish. Everyone piles this on Logan, like he's the one who should have followed her, but follow her to what? To Stars Hollow? To wait and pass on a wonderful opportunity for him just to see until she got something if she got anything and then follow her? Or be long distance with someone who wasn't willing to really even take one little step to really be committed with him? That's what prompted the ultimatum, the fact that she could have gone to him (she didn't yet have the Obama campaign) and be with him but she wasn't willing. When someone really isn't willing to commit, to take a step with you, then why continue the relationship that will probably end in resentment? She had every right to not want to marry him, and he had every right to not want to go back to a limbo to just be in a relationship that apparently had no future(she turned down marrying him she didn’t even say lets do this but lets have a long engagement, and that showed she wasn’t really thinking in a future in the practice that wasn't on her terms, she wasn't willing to commit to him as in building a life unless it was in the exact way she wanted, she wouldn't even propose an alternative because she felt, once again, lost, so she couldn't think further ahead, she said so herself, she loved him. But when Rory gets confused she loses focus and can't think things straight, and instead of reaching out to him like they usually did, she didn't say anything as an alternative. The ultimatum even though she didn't voice it, she gave it too, she had to have things her way or no way. They both loved each other, they just weren't really ready to take the long full on commitment to the practice. Yes it was kind of out of character for both but living together when you are both in the same place is easy, arranging your life to fit it with someone else's, Rory had never learned to do that. She in fact had learned to do things the other way around. Her mom was always her way or the highway, she was in many ways, her mother's daughter

She had recently withnessed her own parents marriage imploding, of course she wouldn’t think herself ready for marriage

Is not about Lorelai’s marriage, she wasn’t really in agreement with her parents even starting a relationship but she was never too vocal about it because she knew her mom was hurting because of Luke and thought she had to decide for her own happiness. Is not about Lorelai divorcing Chris because Rory was never that much “in” into her parents getting married, that’s how easily she got on Lorelai’s side. It was about Lorelai but not about Lorelai’s recent break ups. It was more about how they have always been a bit codependent with each other, they’ve always been together even when they were apart they had to know of the other, they needed to have that connection, they really don’t know how to be far from each other and still keep their relationship, Rory isn’t ready to leave Lorelai or stars hollow completely to build a life elsewhere because she can remain in her own coccoon she can remain in her own childhood where she’s the best, can do no wrong and will get whatever she wants to get. She could never handle failure too well, as she could never handle being apart from Lorelai too well... they needed each other close in order to remain “close” that’s what neither of them really learned, how to be apart and still have each other, I say this as someone who loves deeply this show and specially these two girls but Lorelai matured because of Rory, she was her guidance system because she needed to bring her up and bring her up correctly and she couldn’t have interference from anyone (that’s why Chris’ part in Rory’s bringing up ended being null) She needed Rory to be her own person, as a sort of talisman, but because she loved her child deeply she needed to feel like everything was about that child, and she also used Rory as a shield sometimes (I can’t go changing everything on Rory (even when Rory was 16 and not 6). It was Lorelai’s choice to keep Rory as her reason to be grown up but still in some aspects remain a child. Rory too needed Lorelai because she didn’t know how to be an adult on her own, how to survive without Lorelai’s constant pushing and prodding and constant even intervention. Rory saw herself already as a staffer in the NY Times, when she didn’t get the fellowship her world just caved and what would she do if not go back to her safety net? That’s stars hollow, that’s Lorelai. Rory never really grew up away from her own “neverland”, she didn’t have to and she didn’t want to.

He should have agreed to long distance or a long engagement if he really loved her he would have!

I think they needed to break up, they needed time apart, not because they didn't love each other but because that wasn't enough on her side at the time. A long engagement wouldn't have sufficed either because he didn't say let's get married today, he would have agreed to anything, a long engagement, her traveling for work, if she had been willing to make that commitment to go live and be with him. She wasn't. In the end it all comes down to the fact that they were in different points in life at that moment and love wasn't enough. They needed to break up in order to find each other again. I think they wouldn’t have lasted apart, they would have crossed paths intentionally sooner rather than later and gotten back to each other (even with the ending of the revival being what it is)

She had to think of her own career!

She rejected him. But her reason wasn’t really her career. She had no job at this point. It wasn't her career that was stopping her. It was something else. They already spent time long distance and it was hard on them both. I think him wanting her to go with him to California was the right decision for them right then at the time, considering she had nothing planned and he had a great opportunity. She couldn't even make the request of just stay together and take some time to figure things out together before being engaged but IN California. She needed to figure out what was stopping her. They needed time apart. That is what this should have been and if the show would have come back for a season 8, I think that is what would have happened. There would have been clarity and they would have found their way back together. (Despite the fact ASP wanted Rory pregnant and alone in the ending, I think perhaps we would have gotten a clearer message that they could find their way back to each other even if they were broken up in the end as planned I think we would have seen more of their love for each other as enough proof that they would come back to each other)

Rory should have said YES! She had nothing going on and the writers messed them up

Actually writers really got Rory's issues.

Going back since season 1, Rory was always afraid of deeply getting involved with someone. Lorelai said it best:

 "I'm talking about my own personal lack of commitment skills. I mean, look, I love that you have my eyes, and my coffee addiction, and my taste in music and movies, but when it comes to love and relationships. I don't necessarily want you to be like me."  

Fact is, Rory really wasn't ready to be that far away from Lorelai. She needed to communicate in that aspect with Logan. She needed to understand it herself but she always denied her own flaws because she thought she had to be perfect all the time and couldn’t accept it or bounce back easily when she came crashing with the reality that she wasn’t perfect and she wasn’t always going to get what she wanted how she wanted in the moment she wanted it. Rory is kind of emotionally dependent on Lorelai, and making Lorelai happy is how she spent her whole life. Except for when she ran and hid at her grandparents' in early season 6 when she had to sacrifice Lorelai as she made that choice. (Which I honestly think it was positive for them both, even when the circumstances weren’t the best, they needed to grow up being away from each other a bit they just couldn’t accept it)

Lorelai is this character that, love her as I do, has to have it always her way or nothing. She afterwards makes attempts to compromise, to understand, to agree, but it has to be tiring to the people in Lorelai's life (Luke waiting and leaving it all to Lorelai when he really did want to marry her, Rory just going on with whatever Lorelai wanted). And it's made Rory, emotionally, a mess.

Bottom line, to me is, Rory was right in rejecting the proposal (yes, to me she was right, as much as I love Logan) because she wasn’t ready but she was also all or nothing, she provoked Logan’s all or nothing, because for Rory, like Lorelai it had to be her way or no way, if she had told Logan a different alternative showing she was willing to commit, I think Logan would have agreed to not get engaged yet. They loved each other and they still did during the revival but they can’t really spell it out because they’re hoping the other will say their piece, but is not lack of love what separates these two. For me the revival proved that even while being in forced relationships trying to be apart from each other they just can’t, they love each other deeply but they can’t say it because he knows she is afraid of commiting to him and wants it to come from her and she knows she hurt him and is so lost she can’t yet go to him as much as she wants to.

[allthatwehear]

listen to yoke lore

okay little lady, I want you to make some goals for yourself. there are a lot of things going on in your head lately, and a lot of guilt--and some of those things you need to let go of. not everything is your fault; not everything, you must apologize for. on the very opposite end of the spectrum, there are a lot of things about you that are seeming very unkind, very unlike your old self and you need to work on them. what are some goals you could make to be a better version of yourself? let’s think this through.

-let’s start with goals with luke, and in your relationship, as you care for him so much (it hurts) and you want to make this as precious and special as possible. what about seeing more cute, artistic movies together? while you are at school, activities can be hard to go to. you also have hung out with him pretty late into the night when he has more schoolwork to do, which literally makes you die of stress. oh no, you took him away from the work he wanted to do. oh no, it’s all your fault if he gets worse grades than he wanted; oh no. let me stop you right there; why is it only your fault? and don’t you, too, have homework that you could work on, as well? isn’t he a grown-up boy, and can tell you when you need to be done hanging out so he can do his stuff? why would this all be on your shoulders? sarah, stop apologizing. think about yourself (and him, as well) and what you need to do, what hw you’ve got. do. not. stress. so much about being the clutch to this relationship. you may have been in some before, but this is very different. this is someone who you could see long-term. and this is someone who apparently adores you. so let him; but also let him learn and grow himself. if these were too late of nights, then he can figure it out. you’re only teaching them how to treat you, my dear. be careful about saying you’re sorry too much. ps: luke gave you your first hickey. hehe. also, remember that he does care for you. the physical is just a wonderful part of getting to be with someone; God created it so that we can have beautiful experiences and connections. it isn’t necessarily wrong, but do make sure you are both keep up on communicating together the boundaries and where you do need to stop. i know you want to allow yourself to enjoy some things; you wan’t to say fuck it, you haven’t felt this good in a long time. you want to numb and just feel good. but sarah, remember that someone else’s precious feelings are still involved, and you do have to take care of that. nurture your souls together, take walks to the vintage mall and see if he’ll sit down for coffee dates. be mature about doing homework together if you can manage; otherwise make spending time with each other a motivation or a reward for a hard day’s work. in the summer, things will be better. days will be sweeter; you can cuddle him and hold him in the warm grass & sun for as long as you will want to. i know you want to settle with you’re making up for lost time by being together; that you’ve already been friends for so long. yes, you have been friends for awhile, but on weekend trips, on camping trips, on trips with other people & friend groups. there is more to navigate as far as how you both interact in public being a couple now. and there is more to know about each other! take this in, revel in this, take it slow! there is no rush to get over this super happy excited phase! you like him so much, don’t have any pressure about going too fast, too soon!

remember who you are. you are genuine, you are artistic. you love taking videos and making films. you love taking pictures of people. you love posting those things to instagram. you love writing artistic things; you love dancing to slow music, when there is privacy. you love getting tattoos. you love taking naps. you want to talk less, and thus remove some of the expectation that you should always be responding to people. you want to apologize less. you want to be able to control your irritable moods better. you want to be a more reliable source, a girl of integrity, that means what she says and says what she means. you want to learn how to play an instrument. you want to read more books, regain the energy that you used to have. you want to know how to have limits; know when to read your body, and how to verbalize what you need and when you need it. you are capable. you are able. 

also i think you’re falling in the big l with lukas. what an actual babe. i’m excited for y’alls future together, very much.

that’s why you need to strive to be the best version of yourself sarah. for you, and for him; for your roommates, for your future. for your happiness, for your health. for susy and for sawyer; for your mom, and for your sisters. for dad and cindy. for the people who need you. how to be more vulnerably honest? how to give into humility and humbleness? you need to, my dear; you are becoming critical, angsty, angry, you can’t stand certain things anymore. you need to rely on jesus more, you need to work with him to stop blurting out such random facts about yourself when other people are talking. you are capable. but you need to humble yourself. you are not all that; think not less of yourself, but less about yourself. this world does not revolve around you. 

love yourself enough that you do not have to think about yourself all the time. love yourself, sweet girl. love yourself. enough so that it is not obsession, and you can think of others more. be true to yourself; speak up, or speak less, when you need to. not everything is your fault, not everyone’s happiness is in your hands. remember jesus holds you, tightly and dearly. 

until the sky falls down over me -- truly madly deeply