#she’s either being genuine or sarcastic when she says it ‘helped her a lot��

[chloesimaginationthings]

Vanny finally meets FNAF tape girl in person...

[sturnlsstuff]

MISSED YOU | chris sturniolo

| ".... god, i hate that i missed you so much"

pairing: dealer!chris x fem!reader

summary: your dealer has been out of town for almost two weeks and after he's finally back, he texts you needing to see you.

warnings; smut, dom!chris, sub!reader, p in v, pet names, praising, unprotected sex, dirty talking, hair pulling, rough sex, car sex, crying, public¿ sex, cursing, mdni

a/n: literally my first fanfic after a looong time so please bear with me, if its bad... you know why. english isnt my first language so sorry for any mistakes! also its a little long 😭 part two here !!

~~~

she laughed at some joke her friend made and took another bite of her pizza. it was late friday afternoon, she and her bestfriends were hanging out, since there was nothing else to do. everything was great, until her phone buzzed. she looks at her screen, immediately smiling when she sees his name. she wasn't even aware that her lips had curved into a smile.

her friends were too busy with their own conversation, so she uses her moment and grabs her phone, reading the message from chris. she hasn't heard from him in over two weeks, she had no clue what he was doing, or where he was. she also didn't want to ask, hating the feeling of being too desperate. and it's not like he owns her any explanation either.

chris: u busy?

she bites her lip, fighting the urge to smile again as she replies back.

y/n: hi to you too

y/n: yeah im out with friends, whats up

chris: having fun?

chris: when u gonna be home ma?

y/n: like in an hour or so

chris: can u hurry up? c'mon kid i miss ya

y/n: you do???

she can't help but genuinely grins this time, her eyes widen a little. did he miss her? or was he just saying that to make her give in? he always knew how to talk to her, to make her going feral over him. but she wanted to believe he means it this time.

chris: hell yeah i do

chris: get ur ass out here

she looks at her friends, that were still yapping about something, that she couldn't care less about right now. she needed to see him. he never said he missed her before.

y/n: then come pick me up, im sending u the address

chris: omw gorgeous

chris is already in his car, when she sends him the address. not being able to see her for over two weeks, made him think. A lot. he has been her drug dealer for over a year now, there was tension between them since the beginning, so it didnt take them long to finally fuck at some party a few months ago. and since then, it's happening every now and then, usually they meet to smoke together, then they end up all over each other.

after a few minutes, he parks the car in front of the pizzeria, finally seeing her. she made a stupid excuse for her friends to leave, not being able to hide her excitement, so they just could assume what was going on.

chris gets out of the car, looking her up and down, licking his lips as she was only wearing a black crop top and baggy camo pants. he personally loved those, especially on her.

he opens the door for her, a smirk playing on his lips. "get in."

she tried her hardest to act casual, but just seeing him after a while, in all black outfit, was enough to make her dizzy. and she could swear he got a haircut. his hair was so much shorter, and she loved it.

she smiles, keeping the eye contact while getting inside the car. he closes the door, his eyes roaming all over her body as she walked towards him. he snaps back to reality, getting to the other side and climbing back into the drivers seat. he was feeling so many things that he couldn't express.

"missed me so bad, you couldn't wait an hour, huh?" she speaks up, putting on the seatbelt and looking over at him, while he starts the car.

she notices the way he looks her up and down, his eyes stopping at her exposed skin a little too long.

"i've missed my favorite customer." he smirks, going back to the eye contact.

"yeah, your favorite customer... right." she says sarcastically, trying her hardest to keep her cool and not to blush under his stare.

he grins before replying, focused on keeping his hands on the wheel instead of her body. it was getting harder with every second. "yeah, the one i always gotta give free stuff to."

"oh, dont act like i force you to do this..." she scoffs, still looking at him. "you know i always want to pay you."

"i know y'do... doesn't mean i will stop givin' it to you for free though."

"see, and that's crazy."

chris rolls his eyes, loving and hating at the same time, how she always had to talk back to him. he's driving, planning to go to her house, but the way she's looking right now, and especially her attitude, is making him crazy. he feels his dick getting harder with every second.

"whatever, ma. i know you secretly like it."

"yeah, sure." she mumbles with sarcastic tone, her eyes still watching him. seeing him driving was one of her favorite things in the world, he always looked so good. she appreciates, that he gives her stuff for free or cuts down her prices, but dealing was his job, he was making money out of it, so she always felt bad when he didnt want her cash. "what made you busy for so long? thought the cops caught or some shit"

chris bites his lip, his eyes glancing over to her for a second, before focusing back on the road. he never felt so desperate like right now, just having her in his car like that...

once he hears her question, he snaps back to reality and smiles. "the cops? please, sweetheart, they can suck my dick."

chris changes his direction, spotting an empty parking lot and he drives there. "i was out of town, had to deal with some business... nothin' to worry about now." he explains, parking and turning off his car, and his stare travels to her, scanning her face and body. "you're so curious...."

she nods, now understanding why he wasn't texting her these past two weeks, she was a bit ashamed 'cause she honestly thought maybe he got bored of her, so she didn't text him either. she still got some weed until yesterday, so she also had no reason to.

"why would you stop here?" she asks, looking at him with a little frown, but once she sees his smirk, the realization hits her. the excitement filling her body, the tension between them so noticeable, it makes her shiver.

he stares at her for a moment, adjusting his pants and then suddenly he unbuckles his seatbelt, sitting back in his seat so there was more space now.

"c'mere."

her eyes travels down on his lap, seeing the noticeable big bulge even through his jeans. she blushes slightly, looking back at him, the smirk still playing on his lips and it makes her weak in her knees.

"chris..." he cuts her off by reaching over and grabbing her chin, tilting her face closer to his.

"y'gonna do what i said, or keep talking back?"

she immediately unbuckles her seatbelt, moving over the center console and she gets into his lap, straddling him. she wasn't gonna act like she didn't miss him too, because, goddamn, she did. she presses herself onto his hard dick, watching him closely, and seeing how desperate and frustrated he was right now. It made her feel a little bit of a power, that she decided to take advantage of.

"now, was that so hard, ma?" he smirks even more, trying to hide his growing need for her, but his hands moves to grip onto her thighs. he felt the urge to touch her all over.

"you know, fifteen more minutes and we would be at my place-"

"you really think, i would wait fifteen fucking minutes, when i havent seen you for two weeks, and you look like that?" he loves the way she looks at him, with such admiration. she was so pretty in his eyes, he never felt this type of desperation for anyone ever before.

"and who's fault is that?" his hands grips her tighter and puts her closer in on his lap, making a little bit of friction, that he so desperately needs. his fingers digging into her skin, while he stares into her eyes.

"shut up for once, yeah?"

"make me." she smirks, challenging him. he doesn't have to hear it twice, loving the attitude she's giving him right now. his hand moves up from her thigh to the back of her neck, pulling her face closer and he kisses her roughly, grabbing her ass with his other hand as he does.

she smiles against his lips, immediately kissing him back with the same intensity, and she grinds down against his clothed dick, feeling her own need growing with every second. she missed the way he kissed her, she missed his lips, his hands all over her, his body against hers. she missed him and she hated to admit that.

she slides her tongue into his mouth, he bites her lip in response and lets her lead the kiss. moving up his hips to feel her more and not being able to hold back, he groans against her lips. he never felt so needy before. he pulls away for a moment to speak, and starts trailing kisses down her neck, squeezing her ass, before his hand moves up, caressing the skin on her exposed stomach.

"god, i hate that i missed you so much."

it slips from his mouth, he doesn't think much about it as he sucks on her skin, but for her it meant everything. she tilts back her head, giving him more space and she grinds against his lap some more, running her hand through his brown hair. he lets out a growl as she grinds down on him, making him even harder and he bucks his hips up again. lifting up his head from her neck his stare finds hers, the noticeable lust in his eyes made her bite her lip to hold back a moan. the smirk coming back to his face once he notices her flushed cheeks.

"what 'bout you, huh, ma? missed me too?"

she closes her eyes, their face so close to each other, it makes their lips brush when she replies him back.

"yeah... i did"

he grins, his hands playing with the waistband of her pants. that's all he needed to know, that she missed him as much as he missed her. even though they both were aware, they should'nt.

"how much, hm?" he unzips her pants, she lifts herself up, gripping his shoulders to balance herself and helps him take them off. then she straddles him again, trying to hold back her smile, but not being able to.

"want me to show you?"

he groans after her words, feeling her wet panties pressing against his hard dick and he bucks up his hips again, being so desperate, that he was ready to beg her. he starts marking her neck again, his hand traveling between her legs, massaging her clit through her underwear. her breath hitches in her throat, she lets out a little whine and grips his hair slightly.

"so wet already... shiiiitttt... all this f'me, huh?" he says against her skin, bitting on it slightly and making her moan. he adds more pressure, circling over her clit. "lift this shit up."

his tone demanding, he wasn't asking. she lifts up her top, revealing her breasts. he looks at her now, his eyes going back and forth between her tits, and her face. "fuck... not wearing a bra? fuckin' slut..."

he licks her hard nipple, then starting sucking on it. her hand tightens in his hair, tilting her head back and she lets out more whimpers. she was supposed to be the one in control this time, she craved it and saw how needy he is, but the way he's touching her, makes her losing her mind. he then pulls her panties to the side, running his fingers through her wet folds and suddenly putting one inside her. not even giving her any time, he just starts pumping in and out, adding another finger after a moment, now stretching her out. he pulls away from her nipple, looking at her face.

"c-chris..." she moans quietly, trying her hardest to keep the eye contact, but struggles to do so. her hands now traveling down his chest and unbuckling his belt.

"yeah, ma? y'like that?" he tries to keep his cool, still working his fingers inside her dripping pussy, curling them and making her whine in response. "look at you... so, fuckin' desperate on my lap. missed my fingers, huh? want some more?"

she desperately nods, squeezing around his fingers, but once he feels that, he pulls them out immediately putting them in his mouth to lick them clean. she whines, pouting her lips when he stops.

"show me how much you missed this dick then."

she bites her lip, unzipping his pants and with his help, she pulls them down to his knees, his boxers following after a second. chris leans his head back against the seat, gripping her hips as she gives him a few strokes before pulling her underwear to the side. she runs her thumb over his tip, collecting the precum and spreading it all over his cock, using it as a lubricant and then she lowers herself slowly on his cock, the movement making them both moan out loud with pleasure. she stays like this for a moment, needing to adjust after these past two weeks without him.

"fuckk...so tight...your pussy was made f'me.." he groans, tightening his grip on her hips and he watches her closely, as she finally starts moving on him. he’s holding himself back from moving up his hips and taking over, trying so hard not to thrust into her. he loves the feeling of her body against his and he’s missed it so much. he needed it, he needed her and he hated that. the feeling just kept growing, making the space in the car feel even smaller.

he pulls her back down into another kiss, this time more sloppy, continuing to move his tongue against hers, tasting her. she kisses him back, starting speeding up her pace and now bouncing on him harder. his dick hitting just all the right spots, making her moan loudly while chris tries to focus on the kiss and not to lose his composure. he wanted to take over, he always did, but the feeling of her riding him like that, has him gripping the seat. he grits his teeth, trying to keep himself together and he knows his patience wont last long. he looks up at her again, his eyes glued to her face.

"fuckkkk, ma.... takin' all of me so well... shit..." he hisses, when she speeds up even more. "so good.... s-so good f'me...."

she grips into his shoulders more, moaning loudly at his praises and she continues moving. chris is in complete ecstasy as she picks the pace up, a feeling like he hasn’t experienced before. there's just something about her on top and taking what she wants, that's got him feeling so many things at once.

“fuck.. just like that” one of his hands grab her ass, giving it a squeeze and then slapping it. "fuckin' slut... you like it? fucking in my car? takin' it just like a little bitch.... yeah? shitttt..."

he moans now not being able to hold back, and he starts thrusting into her. she gasps for air, her eyes closing shut as she tightens around him. "oh, wanna cum, huh? not yet darlin'...." he grips her hips more, his tip hitting her g-spot with every move.

"chris i-"

she cuts herself off with another moan, not being able to think straight. she digs her nails into the back of his neck, her head falling down on his shoulder and he immediately stops. her eyes snap open, she lifts up her head to look at him, a smirk playing on his lips.

"you better don't look away f'me, ma.... wanna see your pretty face y'know? and keep makin' those sexy little sounds...got it?"

she nods, but it's not enough from him as he speaks up again. "use your words baby, c'mon... you aint that fucked out of your mind yet, hm?"

"i got it, just... please..." she whines, moving her hips, wanting to bounce on him again, but he stops her. she pouts. "chrissss......"

"get to the backseat." he demands, after scanning her face for a while. he wanted to give her all the pleasure she deserves. he wasn't even thinking about himself, he couldn't care less about his release. he just needed to make her feel good, making sure no one else can do what he can.

she pulls away from him, now moving over the center console again, struggling a bit but she gets into the backseat. chris obviously smacks her ass as she does, what makes her squeak.

"chris!"

but he just smirks, pulling off his pants and boxers all the way down and throwing it on the passenger seat, so it wasn't in the way. he gets on the back himself, there was little space, but enough to get into his favorite position. chris puts his hand on her back, forcing her to get on her knees and hands on the seat, as he positions himself behind her. chris loves the way he can get her all desperate and begging, so he teases her now. he moves his tip along her folds, making her whine. then he slowly puts it in, but after a few seconds he pulls back again.

"chris...." she whines, knowing he's playing with her now.

"yeah, baby?"

she bites her lip, her face pressing into the seat and she lifts up her hips more. "stop teasing me, please...."

he grins even more, slapping her pussy with his dick and then he suddenly pulls his cock all the way in, making her gasp and scream out of pleasure. the new angle let him hit all of her sweet spots.

"whatever you want, princess." he starts thrusting into her with a very intense and fast pace, going as deep as he could. the car now filled up with her moans and the sounds of skin slapping against each other. he grips her hips tight, keeping her in place. he can feel her squeezing around his cock again, and he lets out a growl. "c'mon.... cum all over me...wanna see you while y'do..."

chris moves one of his hands, grabbing her hair and pulling her head back, having a good view on her face. her mouth wide open, letting out loud moans, her eyes rolling back.

"oh my god!" she cries out, gripping the edge of the seat like her life depended on it and she releases, the wet, squelching sound coming from her now louder. he groans, kissing her neck and whispering into her ear.

"you feel so good... cummin' like that f'me... such a good girl.."

she moans, squeezing around him again, the overstimulation now making her shiver as he keeps going with the crazy pace, not slowing down at all. he lets go of her hair, her head immediately falling onto the seat and he grips by her hips again, making sure she feels him as deep as he wants her to. he growls, being on the edge himself.

"i'm... close.." he mutters, throwing his head back. "gonna fill you up, yeah?"

she whines nodding desperately, but then he smacks her ass giving her a sign to answer verbally.

"shit! yes, fuck, yes chris, please!" she feels tears filling up her eyes from the pleasure, a few of them coming down her cheeks moment later. chris bites his lip, feeling her tightening around him. he moves one of his hands between her legs, now rubbing her clit, while still thrusting hard into her, but his movements getting sloppier. she cries out, her legs trembling and his dick twitches, finally cumming inside her, his warm sticky release filling her up and dripping out of her. he curses under his breath, digging his fingers into her skin, leaving bruises as he does. she feels him cumming, and the overstimulation from him lazily massaging her clit and still hitting her g-spot, makes her finish again. the pressure in her stomach now becoming too much, unable to hold back, she feels the liquid squirts out of her in waves.

his eyes snap open, looking down at her and he growls. he slows down until he eventually stops, after they both ride out their highs, this time not wanting to overstimulate her. looking at the mess she made, he can't help but feel a bit cocky about it.

"shit, ma.... squirtin' all over me, huh? is it how it is now?" he smirks, a little surprised that he made her do that but he couldn't be more proud. he pulls out of her, letting go of her hips and her body immediately falls onto the seat. she's breathing heavily, not being able to reply yet. "that's my fuckin' girl.."

he runs his fingers along her inner thigh, collecting her and his cum and he leans in a bit, covering over her. he looks at her fucked out expression and the smudged mascara on her cheeks. "look at me."

she opens her eyes, her mind blank, body shaking. he puts his fingers into her mouth, she immediately cleans them up, tasting both his and her release on her tongue, making sure she keeps the eye contact with him while she does that.

"you're so hot." he says now kissing the tears on her cheeks away. "took me so well..."

she smiles, seeing his flushed cheeks and messy hair sticking to his forehead. it was her favorite view.

"y'good, kid? don't go all mute on me now.."

"don't call me that...." she mumbles, trying to get her sarcastic attitude back, but she was absolutely spent right now. "i'm fine."

he just grins, gently patting her cheek before he pulls away. she slowly lifts herself up, trying to fight her trembling legs and she sits up now, facing him. not being able to do anything more yet, her glare moving to her legs and the seat she made mess on. she feels her cheeks growing hotter, now suddenly embarrassed and trying to ignore his stare. this never happened to her with him before and she didn't know what he thought about it.

"sorry about... the seats" she mumbles, grimacing.

he raises his eyebrows, now seeing her embarrassment and he doesn't understand why. it was a little surprising but he felt so proud. he already wanted to make her do it all over again. "you f'real? don't even say sorry, ever again."

she's still not so sure, blushing even more as he wipes her cheeks from the smudged mascara and then runs his hand through her hair, trying to fix it a little bit. he smiles softly. "gonna clean this up later, don't you worry 'bout that, okay?"

chris then reaches into the center console for the tissues, grabbing them and spreading her legs with his hands. she watches him closely seeing how he starts just gently cleaning her up. this simple movement makes her feel the heat rising from her cheeks down to her neck, so she just covers her face with her hands shyly. not really being able to understand why is she so embarrassed this time, he grabs her wrists, forcing her hands to move away from her face.

"y'gotta be kiddin' me. don't hide from me, ma." chris mutters. "not when you made such pretty mess in my car."

with a quiet sigh, she lets him take her hands off of her face. she chews on her bottom lip nervously while he goes back to cleaning her up, touching her slightly as she was made from some kind of glass. it was even cute, how he just made sure she was fine. it's not their first rough sex, but this one was definitely more intense and for some reason felt so... different. she had this strange feeling in her chest, just seeing him focused on wiping her legs and how he didn't seem to care about his covered in her release seats. once he's done, he sits beside her, wrapping his hand around her shoulder and pulling her close. she doesn't like the silence, even if before it was never awkward, this one was bothering her as she couldn't stop feeling unfamiliar emotions.

"i ran out, by the way." she suddenly blurts out, making him laugh. there was no way in hell this girl was real.

"yeah? good to know. gonna give y'some more later."

"im paying this time."

"oh, you've paid enough already." she immediately looks up at him, smacking his shoulder and he chuckles in response, pretending to be in pain. "woaaahh, bein' a little brat again, hm?"

"that's not funny, im giving you money." her tone shows no objection, he smirks and nods, knowing he won't take anything from her anyway. they sit like that for a moment, before he speaks up, knowing he will get another hit after that.

"soooo... round two?"

"christopher, i swear to god."

_____________________________

a/n: oh my god this seems sooo long 😭 tell me what yall think, i feel like i kinda fucked up with the whole dealer vibe but lmk please! i honestly enjoyed writing that so who knows..

[the-head-ancho-chilli]

The Hashira and their Sense of Humor

Apologies for the hiatus! A lot has happened over the last couple of months and I'm finally getting some of them (somewhat) resolved through therapy and A LOT of patience with myself. So here's a post that I written back in October that brings me so much joy! Thank you all for your patience ^^

Word count: 2k~

Mitsuri Kanroji

You know those types of people who want to tell you a really funny story but they need to stop laughing first?

And they've been laughing for the past fifteen minutes?

Yeah that's Mitsuri

I'm not entirely sure what to categorize this either than comedic storytelling

She could probably be a standup comedian too, she has some good stories to tell

But Mitsuri is really in her element when when someone else is telling a mildly amusing story

She will just keep adding onto it to somehow make it even more funnier than it was originally intended

Misturi could make an inside joke between you guys too, she is the designated funny friend of the Hashira

I also feel like she sometimes makes self-deprecating jokes, but not on any serious topics

Like she enjoys poking fun at the fact that she's still single

For an example, Mitsuri and Shinobu could be making an order at a restaurant for lunch

By the time Mitsuri finishes her first round of food and hands the dishes to the waiter, she accidentally drops them causing all the plates and bowls to shatter all over the floor

She tries to help clean up but the staff insists that she shouldn't worry about it

Sitting back down with Shinobu, cheeks red from embarrassment, Mitsuri will crack an awkward smile and say "Yeah, this is why I'm still single!"

Obanai Iguro

Obanai is the most sarcastic motherfucker on this list

I feel like his number one policy is "Don't ask me stupid questions"

He's already annoyed like 70% of the time, just don't annoy him even more

But then again...

"Hey Obanai, did you lose this?" "No I was just playing hide and seek with an inanimate object for fun, YES I fucking dropped it"

"You look really tired, are you doing okay?" "Hell yeah, nothing says healthy like eye bags as dark as my hair"

"Can I pet your snake?" "Yeah you just gotta let him nibble you first but don't worry, he's only venomous"

Usually he's kinda rude about it but he does have his nice moments

"Hey Obanai, can you pass me that?" Obanai will just say no but hand and just hand it to you anyways

Some people just don't understand sarcasm all the time and that's when he kinda runs into some trouble

Obanai and Kyojuro were walking to a meeting together, but Obanai had forgotten his jacket AND haori

It was quite chilly outside too, so poor Obanai was shivering while trying to keep Kaburamaru warm

Kyojuro asked Obanai "My friend, winter is coming! Aren't you cold?"

Obanai deadpanned and said "Of course not, I'm just practicing my acting. Glad to see that my shivering is that convincing"

"How interesting! Maybe you should audition for a play at the theatre!"

Obanai's annoyance kept him warm for the rest of the day

Tengen Uzui

Quite an obvious statement, but Tengen’s humor mainly comprises of sex jokes and innuendos

The man has three wives, of course he would find that shit funny

Like he will be in the middle of a meeting, and everyone will line up to receive some gifts from Kagaya

He will say "Come in a straight line, my students"

Tengen will chuckle and say "That's what she said"

Tengen is also the type to be "gay with the homies" and loves to embarrass Sanemi and Obanai by making jokes about being in love or hooking up with them

He chooses specifically those two because it felt awkward to make the jokes to Gyomei

Tengen once spent forty-five minutes explaining to Kyojuro that he didn't actually want to buy him dinner after Kyojuro gave him a genuinely offended look to the highest degree

"How deceitful of you, Tengen"

He pretty much wrote off saying jokes like that to Kyojuro following that incident, but he really can't help himself sometimes

I don't think that Tengen solely has generic innuendos he uses on everyone, he likes testing what SPECIFIC category of sex jokes makes people uncomfortable

Like if Giyu goes to the bathroom, Tengen will saunter up with a finger gun on his chin and ask "Pissing all by yourself, handsome?"

Everyone is throwing their shoes at him

Sanemi Shinazugawa

Of course this sadistic bastard likes slapstick, what we’re you thinking?

He may be good at holding in a laugh, but you can still see that stupid smirk on his face if anyone stumbles

One time Tengen's six foot ass fell face first while running late to a meeting

Sanemi actually struggled to keep his composure that day, he had to bite his lips together to hide the uncontrollable grin on his face

People getting smacked upside the head, tripping others, people getting violently angry, Sanemi loves it all

He refuses to admit that Zenitsu is funny

Now a regular civilian is one thing, but children getting roughed up is another

there was a particular incident where Sanemi had come across some kids swinging on a tree branch near a market he occasionally visited

This week ass branch definitely didn't have the strength to hold up any of those kids

So Sanemi did what any sane person would, and stuck around to watch this disaster happen

Well unfortunately for this one child, the branch snapped mid-swing and fell right on their face

And there was Sanemi, a hand over his stomach from laughing at these dumb kids

He didn't even stop to help them or anything, just calmed down from laughing so hard and walked away to continue shopping

Shinobu Kocho

An absolute queen of insult humor

Even Sanemi can’t beat Shinobu at her best

Do you even think she would stick with the basic ass jokes? Of course not

She can be an absolute menace if she really wants to

Shinobu is just tired of everyone's shit, and she can get even more exhausted from putting on that smile nearly as much as Kyojuro

She just can't keep up

Which brings me to my main point, which is that Shinobu's funny side usually comes out in rants or vents with the people closest to her

She and Mitsuri both express their humor by storytelling, Shinobu's just originates more from anger an annoyance rather than an effort to be entertaining

Regardless of who Shinobu's around, everyone can tell that when she walks through the door with steam coming out of her ears, everyone's gonna be laughing their asses off

As anyone can agree if they've worked in any form of customer service, there are some days where you are so damn close to breaking your cool

When Tengen got placed in the Butterfly Estate's infirmary, Shinobu was actually going to kill a patient instead of saving them for once

Like this man was just demanding shit and teasing his friend left and right, and Aoi had never been so afraid of her mentor in her entire life

Aoi tried to calm her down, "Sticks and stones Shinobu, don't let him get to you!"

Tengen only snickered

Ooooo, she lost her shit

"Sticks and stones may break my bones but PLEASE. FUCK. OFF"

Angy Shinobu is best Shinobu

Kyojuro Rengoku

Look me in the eyes and tell me Kyojuro doesn’t like puns

I know you can't do it

He will howl with laughter nearly every time you tell him a pun

"Hey Kyo, you're never gonna believe it! Remember my friend with a bakery? Well it just burned down!"

At first he'll show genuine concern, politely shouting "How unfortunate!"

"Don't worry about it, his business is toast"

Give him a minute...

"Ahahaha! Good one!"

Not only does he like being told puns, but if he has a good opportunity to tell a well timed pun he will not stop giggling until he tells it

One time you, Tengen, Mitsuri, and Kyojuro were all trying to decide where to eat after a long day of work

At one point Tengen suggested hotpot, even offering to take you all to one that Makio and Suma liked

Kyojuro tried muffling his laughing, but his attention was redirected when you asked him what he thought of the idea

Finally able to cease his giggles, Kyojuro proudly shouted "SOUPER"

It doesn't matter if you find the joke funny or not, Kyojuro's laughter is so contagious that you're dying at the silly pun

What a fucking dork <3

Giyu Tomioka

If there was a form of comedy that’s applicable at any given moment, Giyu would use it on a daily basis

Luckily for him, Giyu discovered it very quicky and refuses to let the tactic go

That's right, Giyu is physically incapable of stopping himself from making a "your mom" joke

Everyone can blame Obanai for that one

Quite literally at any opportunity, Giyu will mutter the phrase under his breath

Unfortunately, because it has become such an unconscious thing for Giyu, this bad habit of his ends up kicking his ass at the worst of times

with all due respect to Giyu's efforts, it just makes him unintentionally funny

in an awkward way

Giyu visited one of his favourite restaurants on his day off, the waiter asked "Is there anything else you would like, sir?" after giving his order

Now Giyu didn't mean it, he really didn't

It just slipped out of his mouth so easily

"Your mom"

Let me tell you, the silence was absolutely deafening

After the two stared at each other in mutual confusion, Giyu just wordlessly left due to the sheer embarrassment and awkwardness he had caused

He tried to go back, truly, Giyu made the effort and walked through the door

But he made uncomfortable eye contact with that same waiter and walked out

He hasn't gone back to that restaurant since ;,)

Gyomei Himijima

I have already established in my Gyomei Headcannons post that Gyomei is the dad friend of the Hashira (go check out that post if you haven’t btw ^^)

So of course he's going to make dad jokes, everyone saw this coming

God forbid you ever complain around him, he will see it as an opportunity (usually)

"Man, I'm really hungry" Gyomei will hand you a bento box and say "Hi hungry, I'm prepared

He is THAT GUY that makes "I haven't seen you since last year!" jokes

Every single year without fail

Shockingly, Gyomei and Kyojuro will bond over their mutual love for super corny jokes

One time while training Genya, Gyomei asked him "Child, what is long and sticky?"

Genya paused his routine to think for a moment, slightly disturbed by the question

"I don't know what you- fresh mochi?" Gyomei shook his head

Genya made a claw gesture with his hands, knowing Gyomei couldn't see it

"No idea, what's long and sticky?"

Gyomei gave a small, sly smile before responding

"A stick, little one"

To be honest, Gyomei's jokes do annoy some of the Hashira whenever he makes them (mainly Shinobu, Obanai and Tengen)

Normally because he's so calm about it

Tengen usually is one to lose his temper over it though

"You really got a joke for about everything, huh?" "Indeed I do, Tengen. I even have one about construction"

Tengen's eye will twitch as he taunts Gyomei "Oh yeah? Well let's hear it then!"

"I'm afraid I can't, my friend. I'm still working on it"

Kyojuro's laugh echoes throughout the meeting as Tengen realizes he most definitely walked into that one

Muichiro Tokito

His sense of humor is weird

That’s all I have, anything that Muichiro finds funny is actually kinda strange

He does this thing where he will go in with a fistbump, but change it to a high five last second

Muichiro can do it the other way around too, but regardless it results in this silly fist-five thing that makes him chuckle

He's a little bit of a devious child so his sense of humor kinda comes from whatever will annoy the other Hashira

Sometimes he will sit in the middle of a meeting and just blow raspberries while spacing out a little

It annoys the fuck out of Sanemi and Obanai because Muichiro's spit gets EVERYWHERE

Even Giyu thinks that kid comes with his own splash zone

He's not one for pranks per say, but he likes reaping a bit of terror amongst the other Hashira

One time Muichiro stole Tengen's red eyeliner one weekend purely for entertainment

the next day when everyone showed up to the meeting, people got to witness a very distressed Tengen

Holding up Sanemi and Obanai midair by the collar of their shirts, Tengen interrogated the both of them where they hid his shockingly expensive liner

Of course no one would suspect the slobbering kid, who was inconspicuously blowing raspberries

Had anyone asked Muichiro if he saw Tengen's liner, Muichiro would turn to the fuming man and giggle

Secretly, Aoi is Muichiro's unknowing accomplice in these scenarios

"Here Aoi, could you hold this for a while?" "Uhh, sure? What is it for?" "Hmm? Oh nothing..."

Don't underestimate this little shit

꒷꒦˚︶︶꒦꒷︶꒷꒦˚ ꒷꒦˚︶︶꒦꒷︶꒷꒦˚ ꒷꒦˚︶︶꒦꒷︶꒷꒦˚

Hey y’all! Hope you liked this post, it was such a pleasure to write it ^^

I’m hoping that now I’ll be able to write more for this blog now that I have more time, and I have more posts lined up in the future :)

Ask box and requests are still open, just please read the rules before submitting anything!

[1moreff-creator]

May I request opinions on Ace and J as friends? 👉🏻👈🏻

Sure! These two sound like a pretty fun duo, so why not talk about them! :D As always, this will be non-despair AU, since a killing game friendship between these two… let’s say it doesn’t seem likely to happen any time soon :v

Although it’s pretty hard to imagine how this would happen even outside the killing game lol. J pretty explicitly dislikes really loud people, and Ace in particular is pretty hard to befriend, so it would certainly take some work to get the two together as friends. It would probably have to be through a mutual friend, like Teruko or Mai maybe. 

So… yeah, that! Mai was friends with both of them, so they occasionally got dragged into the same activities. And since Mai “doesn’t like it when her friends fight,” and no one wants to upset Mai, J and Ace make an effort to tolerate each other around her. And when they do that, they find out… “hey, he/she’s not that bad!”

They’re still very volatile when they’re by themselves, and are probably another case of “hard to tell if they’re friends or hate each other at first glance” like I described with Teruko. It’s mainly J making fun of Ace for something, him shouting something back, and either J rolling her eyes at his silliness, or getting embarrassed if he makes fun of her. Though it’s best to have someone around to de-escalate in case feelings are in danger of actually being hurt. 

At least at first. Give them a few months and neither will take the other’s insults seriously. 

I could see J being a pretty busy person outside of the killing game, but since Ace doesn’t train for his talent, he often goes to wherever J’s working to screw around with her. J, naturally, tends to order him to “make himself useful” and carry around any heavy equipment she needs help with. Ace always complains, but deep down, he actually enjoys helping her. Makes him feel useful. 

On the other hand, J doesn’t usually go to Ace’s horse races (“why the fuck would I go, you’re gonna win anyways”), but when she does go, she always congratulates him on his sure-win, and only half-sarcastically! Also, she helps him calm down after the traumatizing experience each race is, and makes sure no one bothers him until he’s recomposed. As you’d expect, the communication after that is…

Ace [genuinely touched she helped]: Thanks… or something I guess. J [blushing and caring a lot]: Whatever, it’s no big deal, don’t get a big head about it, I don’t care.  Ace: Why would I get a big head about this, asshole?! Because the oh so high and mighty J Moreno [he doesn’t use Rosales at J’s request] deigned to step off her throne and defend this lowly, pathetic peasant?! J: F-Fuck you!

… stunted. Anyways, it works, somehow. Probably Mai gets them to have some more genuine conversations at some point or another.

On the topic of defending each other; while J can certainly stand up for herself when it comes to the creeps that come with fame (like Arturo), Ace is always ready to serve as backup if she needs it… For the two seconds it takes the creep to turn to him, because Ace is prone to hiding behind J if things get dicey. Well, you can’t say he doesn’t try. 

That’s for one on one’s, but Ace probably gravitates towards J in more class-wide activities as well. Mainly because making friends doesn’t come easy to the guy, and any friend he does have is probably a mutual friend with J. That can lead to an insane pair-up if J gravitates to Arei, and Arei to Eden. The poor Clockmaker’s gonna work overtime to make sure the J-Arei-Ace trio don’t verbally obliterate anyone they land eyes on, free my girl T_T

Anyways, for the fun of it, here's a small pieces of dialogue I feel could happen, including a bit of Jarei for the soul:

Ace [talking about a crush of his]: Fuck, do you think he actually likes me? J [Dead serious]: …Ace, I am going to give you the best advice I possibly can. Ace: Yeah? J: *Deep breath* J: The Ultimate Matchmaker is down the fucking hall. What in the fuck made you think it’d be better to ask me instead of him? Arei: Yeah, seriously. She’s hopeless when it comes to this shit! J: Hey! I’m not that bad! Arei: I had to threaten to put you in maid dresses fifteen times before you picked up the hint! Yes 👏you👏are👏. Ace: Ah, shit, [crush]’s only threatened to put me in a maid dress fourteen times, do you think I should wait for him to do it again before I do something about this? J and Arei: ??????

Well, I hope that was enough for you! Thanks for the ask, always love receiving them!

[pikachu78109]

Johto League HC’s

((This is just a hodgepodge of headcanons that I have for the Johto League in no particular order. This E4 is my second favorite (first being Unova) so I want to play around with their dynamic as not just powerful Trainers, but also as work colleagues/friends, or individually))

Johto League in General

As with many Leagues in the Pokémon world, it’s a professional environment. I don’t imagine the Elite Four, as well as Champion, residing at the League as a resident, but rather a workplace where you clock in and out like you would in the real world.

Of course, with the other Leagues, each chamber has a personal touch in accordance to each Elite Four member type specialization. In order to have a chamber, an upcoming member must prove themselves by entering into a battle test to determine if their skills are up to League standards and have done sufficient work/training that can be submitted (ie. acquired all eight Gym Badges, completed any extracurricular activity/training, conducted outside research, etc.)

Johto happens to be an interesting case given that it neighbors Kanto, so the Johto League is often referred to as the Indigo League. Over time, Elite Four member from each respective region has undergone changes. Lorelei stepped down to return to the Sevii Islands to help out at the Lab there while Agatha has since retired. Due to this, the League has opened up positions for anyone to apply. Koga, a Kanto Gym Leader, underwent the Gym Challenge by collecting all the Badges and applied his strength to become a Johto League member, as did Will. Bruno kept his position, while Lance got promoted to Champion as Red stepped down. Karen entered the Elite Four as she works within the League, so she stepped in to fulfill the final position.

Johto League Members

As for the members themselves, they all range in ages. Will, by my estimate, would be around in their early twenties (either 22 or 23 give or take) whereas Karen would be nearing 30. Koga would probably be in his mid-late forties as opposed to Bruno, who’s pushing around 35.

In terms of familial ties, I see Will being related to Lorelei (this is sort of a theory). They are cousins whom keep in moderate contact with each other.

For Will, they are a bit more sarcastic compared to the other members of the League. It does come off as a bit unprofessional but the others don’t seem to mind. Will sometimes acts like a ‘whatever, dude’ kind of person, but really they are genuine and laidback. Given their type specialty, Will doesn’t have Psychic abilities like Sabrina or Caitlin. They love the typing for the aesthetic hence why they are dressed so mysteriously.

Just to include this here, I personally headcanon Will as nonbinary.

Karen is an interesting lady. I imagine her as the bad bitch who takes no shit from people and radiates confidence 24/7. She could be having a bad day yet still feel like she’s on her A-game. Honestly, though, Karen keeps it authentic. She has no reason to hide who she is and completely embraces the fact that people are intimidated by her presence. The fact that she’s the only person to train Dark types in both Kanto and Johto says a lot given the negative reputation surrounding the typing. For this, Karen respects the typing more as it stands out from the norm. Yes, this choice of specialization has gotten her dirty looks, but Karen doesn’t care. She’ll continue to stomp out judgement with her Houndoom and Umbreon any day.

Deep down, at her core, Karen’s a kind-hearted and humble individual. She doesn’t like it when people assume the worst about her. In actuality, Karen can be down to earth and can vibe with everyone else.

Low key has a crush on Lance. Acts completely flustered and shy whenever alone with him. Remains professional during working hours though.

Bruno and Koga have quite a close relationship as battle partners. They’re both competitive, but Bruno has a high competitive streak compared to Koga’s. There are a few things that they have in common, such as having a strict training regimen. Neither one wants to be caught off guard, so they train hard by doing a practice battle every day as a warmup.

Where these two differ, though, Koga has a lot on his plate apart from being a League member. Most obvious would be him being a single father to Janine. He doesn’t worry too much about his daughter; he has trained her to take up the Fuchsia City Gym personally, so that she will be capable of taking on this responsibility. Janine is only fourteen, again by my estimate, and she’s quite skilled at her age though nowhere near the same level as her father. Koga does check in to see how she’s doing and, at times, he worries about his little girl.

Being the oldest among the League members, Koga often acts like the wise, sage-like father figure of the group. He’s serious but may often crack a few Dad jokes (much to Will’s annoyance) and few riddles to mess with Bruno and Lance.

Koga is not the best cook and neither is Bruno, so the League kitchen is off-limits for them.

Lastly, Bruno. The man is a big, buff Cheeto puff whose looks are rugged and give off feral vibes. I understand that Bruno is supposed to be hermit-like given that he spent most of his training in the mountains. The concept of a shirt being applied onto Bruno does not exist as I would imagine Bruno having sensitivity issues regarding fabrics. Wool, silk, cotton etc. irritate his upper body the most. He tends to sweat a lot due to his training, so shirts will stick to his torso in an uncomfortable way. He’ll wear pants (thank God) so there’s some body coverage.

Speaking of training and exercise, Bruno doesn’t have the best body odor. Karen and Will keep harping on Bruno to implement proper hygiene, much to Bruno’s dismay. Look, if Will has to send out their Slowbro to use Water Pulse on Bruno to get this man to shower, they will do it.

I feel like out of the four, Bruno would be most likely to throw hands if backed into a corner. Aside from Lance, whom I headcanoned as being in physical altercations, Bruno gets angered easily and riles up whenever someone provokes him. Man’s anger is that of a Tauros and has the power of a Steelix. So, yeah, Bruno can easily kill someone with a single blow to the noggin.

Just to put, which I should’ve stated beforehand, I have always seen Bruno as aroace. The concept of romantic relationships doesn’t apply to Bruno as, to me, Bruno seems like someone who has spent a majority of their life in the wild than with other people. So, forming any romantic feelings has never occurred (at least nothing that would spark interest) to Bruno. He’s capable of being affectionate towards his Pokémon, but people are a different story as he can never quite read them clearly. Bruno chooses to focus on training and being his best possible self, so any possibility of romance has never popped in, now and never.

Rounding it off, Lance being the Champion of not just Johto but Kanto as well has raised some controversy. Some people supported the decision, recognizing Lance’s strength being Champion-worthy, whereas those gawked at the notion of someone just being handed a title so easily and without question. Red stepped down from his Champion title as it never satisfied him, thus handing it down to Lance. Of course, Lance refused at first but Red insisted upon it. Typically, Champion’s can step down one of two ways: by resignation (formally, by application) or by challenging a Trainer eager to take their place. Red’s abrupt departure left everyone shocked. Initially, Lance hesitated but after Red’s reasoning and, of course, battle to prove his strength, he accepted. Red’s leave caused a string of changes to occur, especially for the original Indigo League Elite Four to change entirely due to this.

Lance takes his role of Champion seriously but that doesn’t mean he’s confident all the time. There have been moments where he feels like he doesn’t deserve this honor and questions if he’s even right for the position. People tend to mock him for his team being that of Flying type rather than Dragon (yes, I am bringing that in). On top of that, there’s the controversy as mentioned prior, to which Lance constantly worries if he’s living up to Red’s expectations.

Regarding his relationship with the Elite Four, it varies. With Will, it’s more akin to a Dad and teen relationship where Will doesn’t care what Lance thinks of them (secretly does but won’t admit it). Like I said, Karen has a low key crush on Lance, though he’s pretty oblivious to it. They remain professional, but down to earth. Lastly, his relationship with Bruno and Koga are quite close so I would often assume that they hang out often after League hours.

Altogether, this group is an interesting one with various personalities and quirks. Some new, other familiar but all around tight knit in their own unique way :)

Low key I see them as high school tropes in way ie. Will as the nerd, Karen as the popular girl, Bruno as the jock, Koga as the theater kid, and Lance as the student class president.

[stevie-petey]

Here's some come home head cannons for come home birthday!! Weird coincidence come home has the same birthday as my grandmother!

Steve has very realistic baby dreams and genuinely gets upset when he wakes up and it's not real

When the party was younger (like s2/3) they'd call Steve to the arcade to help them with a tough level no one could beat. Steve acted like it was an inconvenience but loved hearing them cheer for him when he won.

They also used to do the same with Jonathan in season one. :( Jonathan ran into Steve helping them and got a little hurt that they called him. ( It was Dustin who called)

It was bugs grandmother who taught her to bake, while Claudia preferred to cook. Everytime bug tried cooking it either came out burnt, undercooked, or just tasted off.

After the divorce Claudia struggled, even after coming back to Hawkins. If Dustin and bug ever made her upset they'd clean the whole house while she was out as an apology. It made her cry every time.

Mews was actually a stray kitten bug and Dustin found. A dirty, fussy, kitten in the woods that Dustin and bug brought home with a smile begging to keep him.

Jonathan made Nancy a mixtape but they have different music tastes. She still appreciates it and plays it when she misses him.

Jonathan gave out candy one year instead of trick or treating and decided to scare the kids that came to the house. He made a kid cry then gave them the whole bowl of candy and turned the lights off. Felt bad the rest of the night. Never told a soul, Joyce just thought he ate the candy.

Eleven looks up to Joyce and started to copy everything she did when they moved to California. The way she talked and dressed, how she did her hair. (Hence the bangs)

Max wishes she was more like bug, she wishes she was kind and not so sarcastic. Little does she know bugs kindness is a defense just like Max's sarcasm.

Joyce made els first Halloween costume and went out trick or treating with her even if she was " too old"

Will paints his memories when he feels lonely. There's a painting of him and bug when they got the flu and had a sleepover ( from the mind flayer in season two? When they were trying to talk to will)

It's Jonathan's favorite painting wills done. Will offered to give it to him but he declined. He still looks at it often when he's homesick ( so does Joyce)

Nancy feels sorry for her mother, shes proud to have her mother's spirit, she's just sad she never got to love her dreams. She wants to do better and make her mom proud.

Nancy(s1) used to do a lot of slightly cringe things. Like she fist pumps the air when she does something right, and dances around her room to music. She sings in the shower but Mike will bang on the door and tell her to be quite. She'll do embarrassing stuff to make holly laugh, just like she did for Mike when he was little. ( Rarely worked he's always had that unimpressed look)

Hopper wants El to be like bug when she grows up, he's happy she has someone like bug to look up to. He sees bugs strength and wants El to have her integrity, and wisdom when it comes to life. He'd never say anything about it though.

Bug has a box of letters under her bed from the Byers. And she pins the pictures will sends her on her wall ( it's slowly being overrun by drawings.)

RAAAAAAAAH I LOVE THESE I LOVE GETTING HEADCANONS <33

steve does get baby dreams and he genuinely wakes up sad sometimes (they always happen when he sleeps in bugs bed - hes had to ask to sleep in his bed from now on) and he DEF played at the arcade with the party and bug finds him there one day and absolutely melts (the jon part ,,,,, pls u hurt me).

bug def cant cook shes cursed and can only bake and u read my mind it WAS her grandma who taught her <333

the jon and halloween candy made me GIGGE he would so do that and bug makes fun of him for it every single year LMAO.

maxd and bug :(( god u got it spot on.

and the PAINTING :((( he paints the fort they built and the warmth of the light that reflects bugs face in the painting is so vivid and real that it hurts jonathans chest to look at (joyces too).

i could write essays about nancy and her mom good god . on a lighter note: she IS a nerd and still in my mind does these cute dorky things secretly (jon never teases her for it, he joins).

hopper and el and bug oh my god </3 in my mind, hopper sees sarah in bug. thats why he hated her so much at firsy. bugs wide eyes, childish wonder, and endless kindness reminded hopper of the daughter he lost.

and finally: bug keeps everything. she has it all. her room is just pieces of everyone shes ever loved just as much as her clothes are and her jewelry.

[skaruresonic]

So people are acting like James is a inredemable monster now. I personally don't agree with their takes but i'm currious what your thoughts are

If that's folks' takeaway, then I'd say either the writing failed, they're failing a literacy check, or possibly both. SH2 leaves the onus of James' character to you. It's asking you to grapple with some uncomfortable emotional truths, often multitudinous and contradictory.

The belief that people are wholly "bad" or "good" tends to be pretty problematic at best. I have a lot of beef with the idea that anyone inherently "deserves" anything because I feel like that both lets people off the hook for their actions - I didn't make the choice to do a bad thing, you see, I am just a passive victim of my own nature - and borders on victim-blaming, if not crosses the line in some cases.

If those deemed monsters deserve karma or punishment, does that mean victims also "deserve" to suffer as well? Who decides who "deserves" what? How is good measured, and how do we know when someone is "good" enough?

James killed his wife. That is an indisputable fact; it cannot be changed, only interpreted.

However, the biggest question SH2 asks us is why. What would drive a man to such extremes? What cultural forces are at play? What beliefs would James hold about himself as a man, of his wife as a woman, and of the duties and privileges of marriage as a whole in order to kill someone he loves?

What is the line between murder and mercy-killing? Is it blurrier than we believe? Could you, too, be pushed to that point, given the circumstances?

"James is an irredeemable monster" discourages thinking about any of these things; as an interpretation, it makes it easy to dismiss him as someone who was always fated to do the wicked deed. Which is a disturbingly Calvinist mindset that seeks to understand or help no one.

One of the biggest complaints I have about the remake is how much more blatant James' douchebaggery is because it seems to feed into this preordained mindset.

What I mean by that is sometimes it feels like Bloober intentionally gave him an extra sense of machismo to make some "lolol #men suck" point. When Angela accuses James of wanting only one thing, his response is to haughtily assert that he doesn't know who she thinks he is but he'd "never want to hurt [her]."

In the original... James legitimately tried to be helpful in an almost scripted way, since he had no idea how to even begin to approach Angela.

You'll notice that, in his various interactions with her, he offers Angela the kind of platitudes people are expected to dispense when all else fails:

Rarely, if ever, does he endeavor to offer connection from a place of genuine concern. In some cases, he makes the situation worse when his own baggage makes him act strangely, further fueling her suspicion or fear.

In abiding by a "script" in lieu of making a genuine attempt at empathy or connection - thinking a comforting touch is a Band-Aid instead of realizing that someone who is gagging at the mere sight of him would probably not want him to touch her just then - James winds up throwing gasoline on the fire. Like with Eddie, Angela needs help to a degree that he is deeply ill-equipped to provide.

The staircase scene actually places us in a first-person POV as she sarcastically mocks us, the audience, for our misguided attempts:

You're not here to help her; you're here to make yourself feel good about helping a "damsel in distress" without actually making an effort to connect with her as a human being.

But even with all that being said: although James was deeply mistaken in trying to touch Angela and telling her to relax, at least he tried to put on the vaguest veneer of kindness instead of being all "um ackshually Angela, #notallmen want to rape you."

I legit wanted to smack him after that, and I cannot tell if that was intentional or not. My bets are on yes, because Bloober really eradicated the subtlety underlying James' hypocrisy.

The original game still calls him out on his half-hearted attempts when he himself is so screwed up, but his actions and body language didn't seem to carry this heavy whiff of self-importance about them.

While in the original, he was occasionally standoffish towards Maria, in the remake it feels like he barely tolerates her presence. It doesn't even feel like he's attracted to her tbh. Not a good look, given that he is supposed to be both drawn to and repulsed by her.

My concerns about the heightened focus on aggressive combat tie into this. Combat is not rewarded in the original; it's a monotonous task done as a means to an end, and in fact, you're encouraged to flee instead. That serves the purpose of making the player reflect on how weird it is to go around beating monsters to death with a 2x4 when you absolutely don't have to. To make you feel like the asshole for doing it, even. That's what makes James finally deciding to stop running and face up to what he's done a minor moment of emotional victory and catharsis. He decides it's time to sack up and face the truth. He decides that he can no longer run from his problems.

Likewise, James' violence towards Mary shocks the player because he's otherwise so meek, passive, and cowardly.

By having James be the kind of "big man around here" who regularly breaks windows and insists he's one of the good ones, the impact of that shock is lessened. Especially since SH2 was trying to say that even "nice guys" are not exempt from cultural misogyny, even if they do try to go through the motions of chugging the blandest flavor of Respect Women juice. James may strive to be the kind of man that polite society expects of him, but his actions make it clear that he does not respect the women in his life. Nor anyone else, really, including other men and himself. "Eddie, have you gone nuts?" being a prime example.

James murdering his wife is fucked-up no matter how you dice it, but the idea that he may have done it partially just to get his own life back, as if his terminally-ill wife was a defective object he couldn't return and Maria was a trade-up he also discarded... is horrifying. It's a subconscious cultural sentiment that needs unpacking.

James' line of "You better do something about that cough" in the Maria ending is chilling precisely because you can pinpoint the moment he shuts down at the threat of a repeat of his original trauma. But, again, something of that nuance is lost when James always acts this cold towards Maria.

All of this is why Bloober's version of the In Water ending actively offends me. Not only did they explicitly confirm that Mary's corpse was lying in the back seat the whole time - so now we know for a fact that James denies her even a grave for her loved ones to pay their respects - they made James tell the dead body of the wife he murdered that he supposes her thoughts and feelings don't matter anymore because she's not there.

You know.

Like an object.

I can't tell you how skeevy it is for James to be like "I know you wouldn't want me to game-end myself, Mary, uwu, but you're no longer here so I guess it doesn't matter." It's not even as though she died naturally; he killed her. He deprived her of a natural death.

It comes off less like "I'll see you soon, Mary" and more like he's saying "Fuck it, I'm doing what I want; you're not here to enforce consequences anyway."

And, like. Yeah. James is selfish and the game does criticize the objectification of women through him, but that is a whole extra layer of selfishness I don't think Bloober intended.

My dude, you're not even going to bury her in Lakeview's gardens first? You're gonna just dump her in the lake alongside you? Wow, so much love for your wife, many wow. After all, you'll be dead too, so it's not like it's going to ~matter~ whether the police recover your bodies or not. :v

The original version of In Water had James remember the reason he came to Silent Hill: to kill himself, so that he could "be" with Mary again. He confesses that he's no longer afraid of death and that he has nothing without her. Fucked-up? Sure, but you understand and can even sympathize with the sentiment to a degree.

This added layer of unfortunate implication only occurred because Bloober couldn't resist canonizing an unconfirmed detail and making the scene more ~emoshunal~ with extra dialogue which, in essence, only served to erode the nuance of the original.

[avrablake]

15 Questions Tag: Iris

Thanks for tag @nopoodles

I've also answered this for Ryu, Kaori, Nix, and Nolan if you want to see their responses.

I'm having her answer these just before she meets Nolan. Her life definitely doesn't end up taking the direction she thought it would.

1 - Are you named after anyone?

I don't know. I don't remember very much about my birth family but I do remember that my mother had a flower garden. I guess she named me Iris because she liked flowers.

2 - When was the last time you cried?

*Her face turns red and she laughs an embarrassed laugh*

Turns out I cry pretty easily. I cry when I'm mad, which I hate, and when I'm embarrassed, and when I'm sad, and even sometimes when I'm happy. I don't really keep track of it.

3 - Do you have any kids?

I'm definitely too young for that. I do have about 20 little brothers and sisters though.

4 - Do you use sarcasm?

Not really. Miss Margaret doesn't like it. The younger kids are always getting scolded for being sarcastic, especially Gram. I don't disagree with her either. It seems sarcasm is meant to be hurtful more than it's meant to be funny.

5 - What's the first think you notice about people?

Hmmm. I can usually tell when someone is trying to hide something. Or when they aren't being genuine. I guess I notice their body language? I've never really thought about it.

6 - What is your eye color?

*she points at her eyes with both index fingers and grins*

Blue!

7 - Scary movies or happy endings?

Happy endings for sure, but I do think scary movies can be fun as long as they aren't too scary. I like the old ones with no special effects and I think jump scares can be fun. But I don't like the really gruesome ones.

8 - Any special talents?

The kids all like when I tell stories, so I guess I'm pretty good at that.

9 - Where were you born?

*her smile slips and she blinks rapidly. She clears her throat before answering*

Uh, I was born in one of the farming villages near the city. But I've been at the orphanage since I was about six. To me that's home.

10 - What are your hobbies?

*her eyes light up and she wipes them before answering*

I like telling stories to the younger kids at the orphanage. I like to read so sometimes I just retell them stories from books I've read. But there aren't that many books at the orphanage. When some of the kids started getting tired of those I started making up my own. Sometimes I take the kids outside at night and we look for pictures in the sky together. Sometimes I make up a story about what they say they see.

I also like gardening. I grow a small vegetable garden at the orphanage. I grow a few flowers too though there isn't very much room.

11 - Do you have any pets?

Do Gram and Aly count? Sometimes I think those two are more like a couple of wild animals than children.

12 - What sports do you or have you played?

Unfortunately I've never really been able to play any sports or games. I've never had very much stamina and I get sick a lot. Miss Margaret always made me stay on the sidelines when the other kids were playing.

13 - How tall are you?

Around 5'2" I think?

14 - Favorite subject in school?

Miss Margaret is very insistent that we all are well educated. She teaches us herself but that doesn't mean our education is worse than anyone else's. She even made us learn things like etiquette and dancing. I can't imagine any of us ever mingling with those wealthy people from the city, aside from Dr. Avery. Dancing was really fun though.

I guess my favorite has always been reading though. I also enjoyed gardening and learning about different kinds of plants.

15 - Dream job?

Wow that seems like too big of a question to have a simple answer. Like if I could do anything? I suppose Dr. Avery's work is interesting. I help him sometimes when he comes here, but I'm not sure I would want to be a doctor. I don't know. I've never really thought about doing anything except helping Miss Margaret here at the orphanage. I really love working with all the kids.

-

leaving an Open Tag and also tagging (no pressure) @thegreatobsesso @eccaiia and @shellyscribbles to answer this for one of your OCs or for yourself

[kestrelsnap]

op I know this post is an older post from september so I hope you’ve at least seen some parts of the musical.. and maybe enjoyed it despite your view on the characterization

i think the musical definitely does make all of the characters more likeable (although JD way more) but I don’t think it’s anything bad. i do prefer the characterization in the movie but the musical’s is pretty good (and also

I don’t believe veronica is an “insane psychotic bitch” if anything she’s morally gray (<- though this is just how I choose to interpret her character), she obviously has done bad things but she is still morally sound. i mean even when they first killed chandler she was shocked as hell… that doesn’t really sound “psychotic” to me. if anything jd would fit that description

I do think the musical focuses on their relationship more (I mean considering there’s 6 songs about it.. maybe 7 if freeze your brains count) but i think it makes more sense for the musical to have their relationship as the core part anyways, and that’s true for the movie too.

It’s built on them meeting & their relationship helps fuels the murders. it is funnily ironic considering it’s called heathers… I can totally get disliking how they portray their relationship as more healthy, but it definitely isn’t supposed to be seen as innocent either

the movie is definitely way more ambiguous with its ending, but I don’t believe she doesn’t give 0 fucks about him when he dies. they WERE genuinely in love and while I agree she does grow to hate him in the second half of the movie I don’t think she fully ends up Not caring about him. (perhaps that is why in Our Love is God her last line to him is “say hi to god”… which I feel a lot of people interpret it as her still seeinf him as a good person but I also believe it could be her being sarcastic in a way #woah)

Okay that’s just what I think . erre

Heathers thoughts from my priv Twitter

[idrisofficial]

vert

1 for evander, alya

2 for lennox, kori, zuri

3 for lennox

4 for kori

5 for lennox, brinne

1. Does your OC feel comfortable expressing feelings of joy - do they laugh or smile easily? Or do they have a constantly stern or dour countenance? If so is this entirely genuine? Or something they feel they need to maintain for the sake of appearances?

evander: evander tries to let himself be happy and show it as much as possible. he knows he lives in a bleak world and is putting himself in constant danger, so cherishing the moments of levity are really important to him. he'd rather not be exhausted from trying to stay tough all the time for the sake of the revolution, although he understands that that's often part of the job.

alya: alya has a harder time visibly showing her joy. vibrant reactions and facial expressions have never been natural to her, and she has a tendency to remain stone-faced regardless of the situation. she'll smile, or more commonly, express gratitude towards others when she's feeling joyful, but the occasion has to be significant for her to go further than that. zephyr is good at finding ways to make her laugh, though :)

2. How hopeful is your OC about the future? Do they see things as becoming better in general - either for them personally or the world at large? Or do they feel as if decline and disaster are inevitable and all that can be done is to delay the final end for as long as possible?

lennox: he's pretty depressed about this, actually! he doesn't let it show for obvious reasons, but he sees no positive or stimulating future for himself or for idris under brinne's rule. his future is essentially sealed to continue the cycle of abuse in his family and run the country within the oppressive atmosphere of the nation and the castle. there are various ways he tries to distract himself from this (alcohol, overworking, being a whore, etc), but there's no getting around it. nesrin shares a similar sentiment so at least they can commiserate about it together.

kori: kori is absolutely clueless about nearly everything, but it's in his nature to be optimistic, so he definitely has hope. at least he's aware that he knows nothing about politics, and his plan is to learn more so that eventually he can be of some help making things better. it's sweet. and so terribly, terribly misguided.

zuri: zuri is nervous about the future. she works with a lot of the cold numbers and realities of idris's population as part of her political domain, and she knows it's not doing great. and she also knows that with brinne holed up in her room or spending days in the chapel or drinking herself into oblivion, it's not looking up. she can't really find a reason to be optimistic, but she tries not to let it bother her and just do her duties like she's supposed to, hoping that following the status quo will work out for the better.

3. What makes your OC laugh (if they laugh at all)? Do they have an intellectual or ironic sense of humour? Or do they prefer ribald jokes or slapstick routines?

dear god if you can make this man laugh out of humor you have done the impossible. most of the time it's just sarcastic. he appreciates some good irony, though.

natal made him laugh

4. Does your OC believe in the importance of fidelity in romantic relationships? Or does it not worry them so long as a lover or spouse never discovers their peccadillos in this regard? Conversely do they worry or obsess over the loyalty of their partner or partners?

kori definitely does value loyalty in his relationships, evidenced by the fact that he's never even entertained a crush or relationship before brinne. for good reason, he's definitely a little concerned about brinne's relationship with adrian, but because the two of them are so on and off, he's never actually seen anything between the two of them, he's only been subtly tipped off by other nobles who feel bad for him. most of them who feel bad for him won't say anything anyway.

5. If your OC could be granted one wish for the future, but could only wish on behalf of another person, who would they choose? And for what would they wish?

lennox: i'm just gonna say it he would wish for the guaranteed wellbeing of his siblings and that's it.

brinne: any wish means you can make a negative wish. which means rowen is getting brutally executed and made an example of for the rest of the country. brinne might actually be able to finally rest.

[ehlnofeh]

Tes Summer Fest Day 3!

Teeth

@tes-summer-fest

yeah uh i had so much planned for this and we’ll see if i manage anything else lol

enjoy a little of Finwe and Serana on the road a ways down the line in my story

Finwe held Serana’s face, her cheeks pinched between fingers and thumb. The skin was icy to the touch. She rotated her face, checking for signs of injury, but was a little confused.

“Open your mouth,” she instructed.

Serana obliged, if a little sarcastically, with her eyes rolling as she did so.

She could more clearly see her teeth, the fangs slightly longer than would be normal on a nord. Still, confusion remained the overwhelming thought. “Do you even bruise?” Finwe asked, allowing her once again to close her lips.

The vampire shrugged in response and returned to rubbing her jaw. “I have no idea. Usually they don’t get close enough to hurt me.”

The pair had stopped for a break by the side of the road, the river slowly heading north to join the Karth.

Earlier, a confident thief tried his luck, placing the point of a dagger in Serana’s direction. Her response had been genuine laughter; surely any intelligent robber would avoid the heavily armoured Finwe and her hooded companion.

He reacted badly to this and slammed the dagger’s hilt into Serana’s face, catching her off guard.

Once Finwe had shouted the man into the grasses near the road, they scurried away before Finwe insisted she take a look at Serana’s face for injury.

Nothing appeared to have made a mark.

“That’s still odd,” Finwe mused. “You might not technically be alive, but I’d expect things like that to still leave some damage. Does it hurt?”

“Yes. He hit harder than you might expect.”

“Well, I’m sorry to say I don’t know any spell that might help you. The one I do know might even hurt, so you’ll have to suck it up for a bit.” Her healing expertise still required some improvement, as Serana was proving to her. She could mend simple wounds on another at this point, but that became complicated when undeath was involved.

“Another thing you’ll have to learn then. It will keep me from suffering if you do.”

Finwe switched her focus, concerned by noises coming from upstream. She relaxed when it was clear they were just mudcrabs crawling along the shore.

“Have you had to heal a lot of people?” Serana asked.

“Not different people,” she explained. “Mostly making sure a few stay in good shape, but I’m no expert.”

“Did you ever have to heal Nuzuhl?”

Just the sound of her name made the longing to return to the strongholds a little harder to bear. “A bit. She took a few knocks, but she’s a tough one.” Finwe stretched herself back and closed her eyes, imagining what it would be like to return to Narzulbur.

They had parted as well as could be, both with new priorities. Little regrets came to her at times, but both Nuzuhl and Finwe knew things were destined to be separate.

Had she not left, Serana would likely never have seen the world as widely. There was always the question of ‘what if’ things had been different. A more settled life among all the chaos.

“Would she like me?” Serana asked.

A smirk crossed Finwe’s face, imagining what Nuzuhl would say. “She’d probably think you’re fucking weird, vampirism aside.”

“And she didn’t think lycanthropy was an odd thing either?”

“Oh, she thought I was strange before she knew about that. I think she was concerned more than anything else when it came to being a werewolf.”

The trickle of the river went by, the sun peeking back from the clouds and Serana pulling her hood a little tighter.

“Do you miss her?”

“Immensely.” Everything from her blunt insults to her pointed tusks. She would give a lot of things to have a quiet life with Nuzuhl again.

[the-friendliest-freak]

Adding onto this post (the one where The Narrator, instead of initiating a rivalry with Monika, ends up taking the DDLC girls under his wing so he can help them come to terms with being trapped in a game):

(Also disclaimer I haven’t been into DDLC in a while this may or may not be accurate pls don’t kill me)

(Second disclaimer cuz I’m gonna be paranoid if I don’t say it: these are all strictly PLATONIC. No romance here.)

They all mostly stay in the Apartment or The Memory Zone since they’re the closest things The Narrator has to domestic settings on-hand

The Narrator eventually learns about each of the girls’ personal issues and takes to trying his best to help (not bc he cares or anything. No he hasn’t gotten attached. No he absolutely doesn’t catch himself nearly calling them his kids)

Monika and him tend to have “training sessions” where they’ll see how far Monika’s powers go. It starts with simple stuff, like changing the texture file of an objet.

(TW SELF HARM) He teaches Yuri this technique he heard of where you write on your arms instead of cutting, and while it does take a while, along with some additional help, they do start seeing improvements. He encourages her to perhaps write any ideas she has for poems on there if she’s ever feeling the urge.

Sayori, Monika, and The Narrator usually have a few chats about how to deal with Sayori’s possible and growing awareness of the fourth wall. They have these conversations in calmer areas of the office, like the Memory Zone or the Zending room (with the door leading to the stair room closed).

Natsuki, for obvious reasons (cough cough shitty dad cough), distances herself from The Narrator quite a bit. Eventually, concerned about her getting lost in the office, he finds her reading manga alone in the Employee Lounge. He has an idea, and asks her what she’s reading, and “why are the speech bubbles the wrong way around?”. Natsuki - appropriately shocked, stunned, absolutely bamboozled - that he has never been blessed with the knowledge and experience of manga, proceeds to excitedly tell him about it.

The Narrator knows what manga is. Yes, he’s very proud of himself for being so conniving and tricking her into sharing her interests so that she may grow comfortable in this stressful new environment. How utterly mischievous.

Sayori wrote a poem about the Memory Zone once and The Narrator did not cry about it, he swears, how could you ever reach that conclusion-

Monika plays the piano in the Boss’ Office, usually after the aforementioned training sessions.

Yuri really enjoys hearing about the more surreal and scary aspects of the office, and The Narrator’s usually on the lookout for new weird shit to show her.

Yuri: “I wrote a poem about a man who realises he murdered his wife by examining a gas station puddle too closely.” The Narrator, with genuine joy: “Amazing. Tell me everything about it.”

Sayori really likes the more humorous moments. She likes the Line™️ the most. The Narrator doesn’t get it but he’ll allow her to play with It™️ since it makes her happy (not that he cares, don’t get the wrong impression)

The Narrator and Yuri bond a bit over their shared intense desire to be liked by others. They have a lot of talks about it, usually on the shores of The Memory Zone, since she finds the water calming.

Running out of things to keep them occupied with, The Narrator once hid the Figleys around the office again and challenged Natsuki to find em all (since he figured she’d be unable to say no to such a challenge). When she did, he said he was proud of her. Natsuki may or may not have cried.

It was either Sayori or Monika to first call him dad - in Monika’s case it was probably sarcastic, and in Sayori’s it was an accident. Either way the Narrator nearly had a heart attack.

Natsuki once sarcastically called him “gramps” and he choked on his tea

During a moment of combined stress, frustration, and confusion, Monika may have altered one of The Narrator’s personality files, as she did with the rest. She changed it back shortly after once she’d realised what she’d done. He assured her he wasn’t mad, told her to not leave the room, then went to the Starry Room to recover for half an hour. (If you’re wondering which file - it was derealisation).

Whilst he feels more impacted by Yuri’s darker poems or Monika’s due to them covering experiences he gets, he does still like Sayori’s and Natsuki’s (he really enjoys reading their poems and sharing them. He loves this shit, man. He showed Natsuki his poem about the little dogs and little frogs from the DOTA 2 Announcer pack and she liked it)

All The Narrator has to do is speak in one of his sillier voices and Sayori’s in stitches. He likes how easy it is to make her laugh.

The Curator is incredibly critical of The Narrator’s choice. “How can you protect them if you can barely protect yourself?” Is a question she asks him very often.

Long story short The Narrator loves appreciates the company of his weird new daughters acquaintances

[holden-caulfield]

What If I Don't Want You To?

main masterlist

REQUESTED: "Hii! I saw that you wanted people to leave kaz requests in your asks so here I am! Could you do a ff in wich the reader is a part of the crows and she's really sarcastic and flirty (similar to jesper) and she constantly flirts with kaz, (he acts like it doesn't affect him but he secretly loves it) and one day she does something especially bold that makes him blush madly and they finally admit their feelings for each other (also a lot of teasing of the crows to kaz pls) thank you so much!"

SUMMARY: reader loves to tease kaz but is scared once she realizes she might have gone too far.

WARNINGS: a mention of blood but nothing graphic

WORD COUNT: 1422

Kaz was the most closed-off person you knew. He never revealed anything, wether it was his feelings or the details of a new plan, and it enraged you. That's why you took it upon yourself to see just how far you could push him.

Flirting with Kaz Brekker wasn't an easy task, nor was it rewarding but it sure was fun. The crows loved to see which new technique you would have used and what effect it would have had on Kaz. It was usually a simple glare; a snarky comment when you were lucky. Bets were made on his reactions and you soon became a part of it.

"What are we thinking today, Y/n?" started Jesper while walking you down to the club, "I'm betting on a smirk."

"A smirk?!" you asked surprised, "I'm not even sure Kaz can smile..."

"He can, i've seen him once. I thought i was dreaming but when i pointed it out, he glared at me. I knew it was real when he whacked me with his cane." stated Jesper, shivering at the memory. You couldn't help but laugh at his theatrics. "Why do you do it, by the way?"

You took a moment to answer, suddenly serious again.

Truth was that all the innocent flirty comments you made −comments that started out as nothing more than a pastime− soon changed something in you. They were becoming truthful, and seeing Kaz answer with nothing but a dismissive comment was not easy. Trying to evoke feelings in him, inadvertently awoke feelings in you. Feelings for your boss that you shouldn't have had.

"Do i need a reason? It's fun, why do you talk to yourself in the mirror when you think no one's watching?" you retorted, raising eyebrows in genuine question.

"First of all, you shouldn't have seen that. Second of all, you should try it, you'd feel much better afterwards." he said simply and you tried restraining the smile that inevitably made its way on your face.

You entered the club which was, as always, in full swing. Several people were already ordering at the bar all kinds of alcohol while many others were betting all their possessions at the tables. Only the dregs knew that the real bets were being placed under the tables.

"Ten that he doesn't say anything." you heard someone whispering.

You were the newest of the dregs and of the crows, but you had already earned yourself a reputation.

"Twenty that he finally kicks her out." another voice from somewhere in the club.

That one made you shiver. Would he really reach a point where he would fire you? You were a useful member, you wouldn't have made it into the crows if you weren't, but were you too much? Would he eventually get tired of you?

You walked over to your usual table with Jesper to meet Inej. Kaz wasn't there yet and you were really thinking of ending it there, no more flirting, no more jokes. This was your job, nothing else.

"What do you have for us, boss?" asked Jesper as he saw Kaz approaching.

He looked as he always does: black refined clothes clinging to him in an assortment of sharp edges, making him look even more direful to new merchants. He looked dashing the way a raging sea at night is; frightening, yet enticing. And that was wrong, you reminded yourself.

"It was a dead end." he said, sitting down.

He was in a gloomy mood, certainly for the news, and even though you knew you would have let down the whole club, you couldn't help but think of the comment you had heard moments ago.

"Twenty that he finally kicks her out."

You loved working and simply being with the crows and the possibility of being kicked out was positively frightening.

But you couldn't simply stop. Everyone would have noticed something was off, he would have noticed. And then what? He would have known you liked him.

You had to do something big, something he couldn't simply ignore. You might have been out of the dregs for good, or maybe not.

Jesper kicked your shin under the table, making you focus back on the real word and motioning at all the dregs in the club, looking expectantly at you.

Kaz and Inej were now talking about something you weren't quite getting, their voices seemed distant as you tried to forget about everyone's eyes on you. You had made it a thousand times already, you could do it once more.

"So, what are we going to do now?" asked Jesper and Kaz leaned back in his chair.

"I have some other leads we can try, but we'll have to split up." he started, the prospect of new kruge in his pockets making him incredibly more cheerful, "Jesper, Inej heard something about a particularly pricey painting in east stave, she'll bring you there and you'll learn more about it. And Y/n," he began and you perked up.

It was your moment to say something and get it over with.

"We'll go to west stave, i need your help with a lead there."

"Oh, you need me?" you said, your tone excessively teasing.

"That's what i said, but i can ask Inej." he replied drily.

You hesitated but you were not one to back down, especially not in front of one of Kaz's passive aggressive comments.

"But then you wouldn't get to stare at me longingly while i work, would you?" you said, pouting slightly.

You could have expected a retort, a glare, a not-so-nice hand gesture, but not him storming out of the club.

The entirety of the dregs was dumbfounded, Jesper and Inej, who never participated in the bets but still knew about them, were agape. You were mortified.

"Maybe," began Inej, "You should go talk to him."

"And meet my demise?" you asked.

"There must be a reason why he stormed out-"

"Yes, that he would have liked to kill me but blood stains are tough to remove." Jesper laughed but you were quite serious.

You got up either way, you had to explain yourself to him, you owed him at least that, and got out.

You found him not so far from the club's entrance, leaning on the railing over the river. You approached him unsurely.

"Kaz." he didn't turn around, so you got closer to the railing and noticed that his face, even in the night with the palest light of the street lamps, was scarlet. "I'm- i'm sorry, i will stop."

He remained silent.

"That is if you still want me in the crows, if not i'll leave tonight obviously." he turned to you, usually-perfect hair now slightly tousled, face still red and unreadable.

"Why wouldn't i?" he asked.

"I'm always teasing you and i figured you hated that. I will stop."

"What if i don't want you to?" your head perked up and he turned back towards the horizon, but a smirk crept up on his face. He didn't bother hiding it.

"So you can smile?" he rolled his eyes.

"I don't like it when people point out things i obviously do, you should have noticed back there."

Heat rushed to your face and the smile he had plastered onto his face turned into a complacent one.

"It was real? You stare at me longingly?" you asked bewildered.

He looked at you once before turning to the horizon once more, "Obviously not."

But you could sense he was lying.

"Told you he could smile, Y/n!" shouted Jesper from behind you.

You both turned around to find Jesper and Inej surrounded by the dregs and a couple of other clients too, all jostling to get a better look of the scene.

"It'll be hard for him not to, i'm afraid." joined in Inej and you bit your lip to refrain the laughter. Kaz's annoyed expression didn't help you maintaining a straight face.

"I'm not paying you to stand here doing nothing, get back inside." he ordered.

Everyone turned back inside but Jesper and Inej.

"Boss, if Y/n now gets double, just know i'm great at flirting too." stated Jesper as Kaz made his way back to the club, you in tow.

He ignored him and whacked him with his cane. Again. Jesper had now yet another lovely cane story to add to his collection.

"You'll never let him forget it, won't you?" you whispered. Jesper looked at you like a child who had just entered candy land.

"Never."

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[cruncherzz]

Okay, so I've been waiting to do this for a while but I kinda wanna see everyone's opinions on different characters from the RE7-RE8 timeline; also the reasoning of why you like or dislike them.

Here are some of mine(probably gonna make a part 2 post):

Chris Redfield-

Honestly, didn't see him enough in either game to really form an opinion, I played RE5 ages ago and witnessed the glory of the boulder punch but like... that's it. He just feels like if COD Ghosts was a person.

Jack Baker -

He's a cool tertiary character that scares the crap out of you on initial play but then bothers the fuck out of you once you know how his AI moves him around the house and his parts in the game. I like his voice lines and how genuinely like... unsettling he is. Even after years of playing and replaying this game, I still get goosebumps seeing him walk at you like the GTA character on roids.

Marguerite Baker -

Nope. Nope. Triple nope. I love the character as an antagonist but just hate her when I play. Two words. Vagina Bugs. Like, holy shit, Capcom nailed how much people hate unsettling things. Seeing this woman crawl at me around the greenhouse on all fours had me shooting her like I was playing a campaign of MW2. Her voice lines are great and her craziness because of Eveline's influence just makes her uncannily frightening.

Lucas Baker-

I want to see this little cunt die over and over again. He's just on another level than his parents because he was fucked up even before the mold got to him. Like, he's antisocial, great with gadgets that he uses for less than savory reasons, he's just John Kramer but in Resident Evil. All he needs is his Billy puppet and he's good. He wasn't as satisfying to play against because his part of the game was just an escape room and him escaping before you could get to him. All around, it was a creepy character that I sorta despise playing against but like all the same. Also, yes, I know that in "Not a Hero" or whatever it's called, you kill him. But, I never played that cuz I don't care for Chris and I'm lazy. I loved his little tidbits in "21," though so I'm probably just biased af.

Zoe Baker-

I might get flack for this but I don't... care for her. She's not a bad character but she's not really helpful. Yes, she points you where to go and tells you what's going on vaguely. But like, she just tells you. That's it. Sometimes, she doesn't even tell you stuff like when Ethan fights Marguerite and says that she didn't warn him about the bugs and "thanks for that" sarcastically; she replies with a laugh and a "sorry about that." Also, this might just be me but it's like her VA didn't know how to replicate a southern accent; she switches from sorta southern to no accent to this weird almost British sounding hybrid. It's something that @highlifeboat and I poke fun at whenever they stream it out of boredom.

Eveline -

My child. Little baby child. I really enjoy Eveline as the main antagonist because you can't help but feel this intense sympathy for this child who was made to destroy. She's just a kid and yet because of Miranda(which we find out later), she never gets the family or love she desperately craved. She wants to be loved but her efforts are completely twisted because she was completely twisted from experiments and protocols. Her imprinting protocol on Mia essentially drove her to excessive levels of obsession and made RE7 happen. I love her character and her voice lines are painful and raw. She's great in a lot of ways, she's even good in SOR which y'all already know my opinion on.

Clancy Jarvis-

The real protagonist of RE7, just yall wait for his revival in RE9, WHEEZE! No, but, seriously, I really like Clancy Jarvis. His influence in the game isn't major to the plot but it's just enough that the exposition rides on you watching his tapes and seeing his name around on initial play. A brilliant side character that you'll feel bad for because he just wanted to film a ghostbusting show with his friends and ends up being hunted, tortured, and eventually killed by Lucas Baker. Also, I love how he gives more emotion in every reaction of his than Ethan does in the entire motherfucking saga he's in. Like, his emotion is there and it's raw and it's visceral whereas Ethan yells or doesn't really react to things in RE7; yes, they patched it up in RE8 slightly but not altogether in a way that made sense to me at least.

I'm gonna make another post specifically for the Winters Family because I have a lot to say about that, also, I'm gonna do RE8 in a separate post because there's a lot more to cover.

Hope y'all enjoyed my little tidbit ;)

[rviner]

"No gold here either, so thanks for rubbing it in. I'll only cry a little bit about that." she gives him a playful smirk. Jakob's knack for matching her sarcastic quips and teasing effortlessly makes her feel like she's in familiar territory. It's as if they've known each other for a lot longer than they have, the way she doesn't need to monitor her tone because Jakob can match her energy like it's second nature. "You'd kinda need a new job if your poker face sucked." she adds, her gaze lingering on him with genuine interest. Her eyes flit between his, Ines suddenly conscious how closely she studies him. "Wanna play two truths and a lie? So I can see how good it is?" Ines suggests, her curiosity about Jakob becoming almost palpable. It's clear she’s drawn to him, each interaction deepening her fascination.

Her laughter bubbles up as they share a moment of light-heartedness, the kind of laughter that's almost contagious. "Yeah, it did. I might need to reconsider knowing you." she teases, rolling her eyes playfully. It's almost strange how easily Ines can make such a remark, as if the idea of not knowing one another is absurd now. "Just because you're too fancy to remember an event doesn't mean you get to be sassy." she adds, her chuckles mixing with the teasing tone. "Catman is a thing already, I think. You should pitch it, I think you'd be great. Just saying." she says, her jest carrying an undercurrent of genuine admiration for his talent.

When Jakob comments on her dress, Ines can't help but laugh at how it sounds. She can never control her amusement at the best of times, but she tries to fight it even if a childish snicker still escapes. "Oh, the straps?" she glances down at her dress, leaning slightly to look to one shoulder and then the other. "They're like in one, so it works like normal. You can just pull it off." she explains, her laughter spilling again. Her gaze meets Jakob's, her grin widening and then faltering when a sudden, vivid image flashes in her mind. His hands sliding the dress from her frame. She coughs, clearing her throat as she pushes the thought aside, feeling a slight flush creep into her cheeks.

Jakob's observation about her cigarette brings her back to reality. She realizes she's been too engrossed in their conversation to light it. But his comment also makes her realize she's not taking her main passion in life very seriously since her return from Paris. "Oh ew. I hate the word elite." she says, laughing it off. "But I'm kinda gonna take a little break." she admits, shrugging casually. She doesn’t mention that she's convinced herself she'll never compete again. "Practice and training are kinda like loopholes anyway. Curb the temptation when I wanna quit. But I er...probably wouldn't put that to the test with stuff like heroin." she adds with a wry grin, aiming to keep the mood light.

Jakob's sudden swipe of her cigarette makes her laugh again. "I smoke XLs." she retorts with a grin, despite it being a lie. "Or maybe you just have freakishly large hands." she adds, the words escaping her before she can stop them. The of his hands, again, flashes through her mind and Ines practically glitches. "Do you want one?" she offers, moving the topic along while handing over her packet as he returns her cigarette. "But isn't smoking bad for elite actors, too?" she meets his gaze with a playful smirk, fighting a chuckle.

Jakob's is great at pretending. Keeping the mask on. Acting. It's his job, after all. So acting indifferent to catching whatever glimpse he can of Ines should be easy. In theory. Yet, it's nearly impossible not to search for her in the sea of faces. And when he does, it's just as difficult to keep eyes on her given her stature amongst the gala-goers. But this, like the warnings he's heard over the years, prove easy barriers to overcome when she gives him a subtle nod. Jakob does what he's spent years doing and slips into character. A casual party-goer who's heading towards the bar before veering off in the same direction as Ines.

The door shutting behind them is like a vacuum, the sound of the party dimmed as the city provide a less concentrated hum of noise around them. "Mmm, no gold medals yet, no," Jakob quips, gaze caught on hers, green eyes scanning her face and dress with a slight twitch of his lip. There's no doubt that Ines Alvarez has been on his mind for over a month now. Since that party at whomever's home. All details are fuzzy apart from their conversation – the way she'd identified him as the uber eats guy – the way he showed her his dumb shaggy run. The way she'd laughed. The way he'd bought tickets for the fucking Olympics before the party even ended. Oh yeah, I was going over to watch track. My cousin Mondo is competing. Even though he hadn't talked to his cousin Mondo in years. "But Felix and I placed a few bets. My poker face is surprisingly good but, apparently, my strategy is not." He grins and shrugs, unbothered by the loss of a couple thousand with his father's name on it.

"A few years ago? Maybe. These sort of events kind of...you know, blur." He clears his throat, scowling at his words. "Did that sound as pretentious as I think it did?" Jakob laughs, encouraged by the sound of Ines'. "But I'm also kinda bummed they didn't do garlic mussels this year. Isn't that the only reason anyone comes to these parties?" The Ranström smirks with light amusement, a snicker escaping as she pulls out the cigarette. "Oh yeah, that's kinda what I was going for. Like catwoman but, you know, in a suit. For men."

Jakob nods at her, pointedly avoiding studying the peak of under boob, "I like your dress too. Looks like a pain to get off." Well. That wasn't subtle. "I just mean, lots of," he gestures at her straps and then decides to get off this sinking ship of a conversation topic before he say something he might regret. "Isn't smoking bad for elite athletes?" Jakob raises a brow, "also, has anyone ever told you you kinda look like you're smoking a prop cigarette?" Amusement colors his tone, "because it looks kinda like you got a clown cig," he cackles, a good-natured grin on his lips as he snatches the cigarette from her. "See? Looks normal when I hold it. But you?" He offers it back, shaking his head. "Kinda hilarious."

[thefanficmonster]

Chaos Magnet

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: None :)

Genre: FLUFF, HUMOR, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: When Y/N get invited onto a stream with the gang by Jack (Sean) she’s not sure what to expect but it’s safe to say that such chaos is not something she could’ve ever imagined.

Requested by Anon. Hi hun! Thank you so much for your lovely request, it really had me laughing and still had me be awe-struck by the adorableness of the idea. Sorry it’s been such a long time since you put in the request but I still hope you come across the fic and read it! Love, Vy ❤

“Alright people, silence in the call for a moment!“ Jack calls out when the lobby’s counter has finally reached up to nine, leaving room for one more person who is yet to join, but apparently he doesn’t care much that he’ll probably have to repeat himself when the tenth person enters the call and lobby.

“Jack, you should know by now, the day there’s silence in this call is when some supernatural force murders all ten of our mics. It just won’t happen, deal with it.“ Charlie, who was having an ‘intense’ discussion with Toast up until Jack’s interruption, says sarcastically, chuckling ever so slightly, enough for it to be contagious and make me crack a smile as well.

“There won’t be silence, I’ll be talking. If only the rest of you would LET ME.“ Jack replies just as sarcastically, getting Charlie to let out an actual fit of laughter. When his chuckling subsides along with the rest of the chatter in the call, Jack finally gets to have the speech he mentioned, “Right, ok so here’s the deal folks: today we have a guest addition to the stream, curtesy of mine because I’m obsessed with her channel. As you might or might not have noticed, there’s one person missing from the lobby but she’s gonna be joining us any minute now. As I said, I’m a huge fan so you better not embarrass me or I swear I’m gonna kill you first when I get to be an impostor.”

I don’t know what the others are thinking - probably something similar as what I’m thinking though: Noted, embarrass Jack to the best of your ability. Trust me, getting him flustered in front of his YouTube idol is well worth the death in Among Us he’s threatening us with.

“Also keep in mind that she’s of a different kind, not of our breed if you will - she’s an ASMR YouTuber. Not those who eat in the mic just because they think it’d be pleasant for people to hear.“ Jack goes on to explain, the way he’s described this girl’s craft is quite intriguing, especially when you consider how confidently Jack expressed his distaste with ASMR in the past. He’s always claimed not to be a fan but here we are, I guess people really do change.

“Thank you for making it seem like I do more than just cut up soaps, Jack. I really appreciate it but don’t bump the bar up that high, people will be disappointed when they actually visit my channel.“ An unfamiliar voice appears in the call out of nowhere. Though, unfamiliar is not the adjective I should focus on when describing this girl’s voice. I’ll list a few more but even they won’t do it justice: pleasant, awing, mesmerizing, unbelievable, out-of-this-world...I really could keep going.

“Oh come on, Y/N, you don’t just cut up soap. You turn them into bath bombs too!“ Jack laughs, earning him a playful scoff from the newcomer. “Oh yeah, almost forgot - Everyone, this is Y/N, our ASMR artist.“

“Please, some ‘artist’ I am. The people in my comment section would disagree with that description.“ She giggles after kindly responding to each and every greeting the gang sends her way, myself included. “The word I’ve seen people use most when describing my channel is ‘cringey’ so....yeah.“ She laughs, a genuine laugh instead of the bitter one I was expecting to follow such words.

“That seems to be the cool kids’ favorite word, don’t dwell too much on it.“ Rae tells her reassuringly, “What’s important is what word would you use to describe your channel?“

Y/N hums, sounding as though she’s fallen in thought but that’s only one brief moment before she answers. Or begins to, at least, “Well, if I were to describe my channel with one word it’d be....BEEFY!”

That one out-of-context word, screamed out by such an angelic voice has me breaking down with overwhelming laughter collapsing all my ability to hold back.

“Out of all the words, you’d choose beefy?“ I somehow manage to ask between fits of laughter that render me breathless.

“She’s a vegetarian, I think, I don’t know why she’d choose that word.“ Jack too is laughing his butt off but has a significantly better grip on it, “Y/N, care to explain your peculiar choice?“

There’s a lot of shuffling and random noise on Y/N’s end before her reply finally comes, accompanied by a weak meow, “Sorry guys, that was a classic cat of Mr. Beef Stronganoff seeking attention by being chaotic.” She says through laughter, her words followed by another meow which was a lot more clear, seemingly closer to the mic, “He took down my mic, and he seems like he wants to do it again....BEEFY NO!”

For some reason, even with that explanation in mind, I can’t keep myself from laughing. Come to think of it, I think the explanation only makes it funnier.

“Ugh, darn it! I saved my mic but he ran across my keyboard and turned my webcam off how do I turn it back on?“ Her voice dies down for a few secs before it reemerges from her end, “Ok nevermind I got it. Now I can answer...what was the question again?“

Recovering from his laughing fit, Jack manages to repeat the question, “What word would you use to describe your channel?”

“Oh that! Right, ok. Um, I’d call it aesthetically pleasing and BEEFY NOT THE ROUTER CABLE YOU DUMMIE!“

She’s insane. Or her cat’s insane. I can’t tell. Maybe both. Either way, I can’t help but feel like I’ve found a soulmate in this literal stranger. It’s safe to say us chaos magnets like her and I, we don’t only attract chaos, but also chaotic individuals. I’m so glad she magnetized me to herself. Or was it the other way around? We may never know - mystery is in the nature of us chaos magnets, you know.

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