#she’s apparently really lethargic. and usually she has a lot of energy

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

two of my dogs are getting on in years and the other has arthritis so it’s not that i wasn’t expecting something to happen but fuck can it please not happen now

[autolenaphilia]

Granada Holmes (series review)

The 1984-1994 Granada series of Sherlock Holmes adaptations, starring Jeremy Brett as Holmes are regarded by fans as a milestone among the many adaptations of Sherlock Holmes that were made. Brett is said to be “the definitive Holmes”. And I would largely agree with that, despite it not being my favourite version, and it having some flaws and weak episodes, especially as the series went on.

The first thing that set this show apart is that it went back to the original stories and adapted those. Now, it isn’t the first version to do so, as some people (including Brett, apparently) claim. The 1920s silent film series with Eille Norwood was fairly canon accurate, and the 1960s BBC tv series with Douglas Wilmer and Peter Cushing also followed the canon. There is also the 1979-1986 Soviet Russian series with Vasily Livanov. And on radio you have more canonical dramatizations, such as the British John Gielgud 1950s series and the BBC Carleton Hobbs series from the 50s and 60s. People have an unfortunate tendency to ignore radio in favour of screen adaptations.

Still, it must be granted that Granada at its best is probably the supreme screen adaptation of the canon. The production values and acting are far superior to what the 60s BBC tv series had.

Jeremy Brett was a revolution in Holmes performances. The previous era defining Holmes, Basil Rathbone, as great as he was, made Holmes into too much of a straightforward hero. Brett brought back the eccentricities (including the drug use), the nervous energy and the character’s general moodiness and emotionality that was there in the text.

Holmes in the Granada series was ultimately on the side of good and a benevolent figure (if occasionally rude), but fictional justice perhaps had never an odder champion. He did everything from sitting weirdly, jumping over couches to taking drugs. Holmes felt neurodiverse, and indeed Brett used his own experiences with bipolar disorder in the performance.  And it was true to canon, in a way we seldom had seen on screen before.

Jeremy Brett’s performance as Holmes is extremely influential and often imitated by later screen adaptations, but has never been surpassed. The portrayal of Holmes in BBC Sherlock and the movies with Robert Downey Jr. is clearly inspired by Brett’s nervy eccentric genius Holmes, but ends up a bad parody. Holmes in the Granada series can like his canon counterpart occasionally be rude or careless towards other, but it was lapses, not a general trend. They seemed to be caused by an eccentric brain on another wavelength from the people around him, rather than any malevolence. Holmes in BBC Sherlock is a male nerd wish-fulfilment fantasy, where the character’s eccentric genius are allowed to excuse any crimes.

At its height, Brett’s Holmes is an awe-inspiring performance, with the actor pouring everything of his skill and energy into it. You could criticize it as melodramatic over-acting, but it makes for great viewing and fits the man who said “I never can resist a touch of the dramatic”.

The Granada series gets much credit for rehabilitating the role of Watson. Both of the actors playing him depicted as very much intelligent and capable. It is somewhat overstated of course, the turning away from the comedic figure Nigel Bruce portrayed started already with Andre Morell’s Watson in the 1959 Hammer Hound of the Baskervilles. Still, the Watson depicted by the Granada series is still one of the show’s chief draws.

The series had a switch in the actors playing Watson, with David Burke portraying him in the first two seasons of 13 episodes  and The Empty House featuring Holmes return to a Watson portrayed by Edward Hardwicke. And honestly it is hard to choose between them, because they are both great and there is a consistency in the writing that makes them feel like the same basic character. 

Burke’s Watson comes across as younger and more energetic of the two actors and has perhaps the better comedic dynamic with Holmes. He is perhaps my pick, as despite his actual age while playing the part, he feels closer to the young Watson of the canon.

But that is no serious slight against Hardwicke’s performance, which is still first-rate. Hardwicke’s Watson feels older, despite the difference in age between the actors being but a few years. The performance is also defined by an effortless charm and warmth, giving Watson an avuncular aura. But Watson is not at all infirm and is still an intelligent medical man and an experienced soldier, ever ready with his revolver.

An interesting change from the Canonical stories is that Watson never gets married and moves out of Baker Street. The Sign of the Four features Mary Morstan, but at the end she walks out of the story without any romance between her and Doctor Watson. The reason this was done, is that it simplifies the set-up of the stories. With Watson in 221B, he is always on hand to join Holmes. No need for a scene at the beginning of Holmes taking Watson away from wife and practice. Also it saves them keeping track of when Watson was married or not, something that Conan Doyle himself got into a serious continuity tangle about.

As producer Michael Cox (quoted in David Stuart Davies’s book Starring Sherlock Holmes)  noted, Conan Doyle himself probably regretted marrying off Watson, considering The Empty House has Watson suffering from a “sad bereavement” and then moving back in with Holmes. So it is a very much acceptable deviation from canon.

It also frees the writers to focus on the most important relationship in the canon: the friendship between Holmes and Watson. The canon has been called “a textbook of friendship” by Christopher Morley, and the chemistry and relationship between Holmes and Watson is vitally important to any adaptation. And that aspect of the stories is wonderfully conveyed here, with both actors playing Watson working together with Brett as Holmes well to convey the odd but close friendship between the two men.

Rosalie Williams plays Mrs. Hudson, and she is excellent in the role. The Granada series has a lot of little scenes of Mrs. Hudson added into the canonical cases, and they work excellently, giving her more of a presence. Many of them are comedic, making jokes about how a difficult and eccentric lodger Holmes is, but there is a clear undercurrent of affection throughout their interactions.

The recurring cast members include Charles Gray as Mycroft Holmes and Colin Jeavons as Inspector Lestrade.

 Gray as Mycroft is close to ideal, fitting the character of the overweight, lazy and intelligent canon character perfectly. He was such a good fit for the role that he had actually earlier played the part in the film adaptation of The Seven-Per-Cent Solution.

Jeavons fit the part of Lestrade and his acting is superb, capable of showing the full extent of Lestrade’s character, having both smug over-confidence at times, yet also having genuine respect and affection for Holmes.

The acting skills of the actors playing characters who only appear in one episode is also generally very high. And that is part of the general high quality of execution the show had for most of its run. The period sets and the directing was of a similar high standard. The music by Patrick Gowers is excellent, and I suggest any fan take a listen to this Youtube playlist of his soundtrack.

The scripts are quite excellent, for the most part sticking close to the Conan Doyle stories. Of course there are always infidelities here and there, and sometimes the episode would go on non-canonical tangents.

Usually it was to make the story work better on screen. For example, the villains in The Greek Interpreter escape from Holmes and Watson, ending up being killed “off-screen” as it were. So the Granada version of the same tale has a non-canonical ending of Holmes, Watson and Mycroft confronting the villains on a train, something that works rather well. Another example is The Musgrave Ritual which entirely ditches the original story’s framing device of Holmes telling Watson the story of an early case of his. In the Granada version Watson is with Holmes on this case, and it works better that way.

And with all of these elements working together, for most of its run, the Granada series is perhaps the definitive screen adaptation of Sherlock Holmes. The first four seasons of 50 minute episodes, which were broadcast under the titles of The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes and The Return of Sherlock Holmes from 1984-1988 plus the feature length adaptation of The Sign of Four are pretty much all great. It went from strength to strength, consistently making very well-made adaptations of the canon.

The Sign of Four is probably a good pick for Granada’s peak, due to its epic nature. And it is definitely the best of the five feature-length films they did. Outside of leaving out any romance between John and Mary, the film is faithful to the book, although it goes too far in that direction in keeping in the racism of the story. But it also has all of the book’s virtues as a story too, and fine acting from Brett, Hardwicke, and John Thaw as Jonathan Small make for an enjoyable viewing experience.

There was however a decline in the series later years. The lynchpin of the series was Jeremy Brett, and his health began to seriously fail him by 1987, leading to his death in 199 (my source of information on Brett’s health decline and general behind the scenes things is mostly Davies’s book Starring Sherlock Holmes) Once lean and looking remarkably like the Sidney Paget illustrations of Holmes, his conflicting medications for his heart problems and bipolar disorder caused him to retain water and bloat, causing him to no longer look like the lean figure he once was. His looks wasn’t really the problem, what was however was that his health problems drained him of the energy that he once was able to put it into his performance, creating through no fault of his own a more lethargic and weaker Holmes.

There was also a growing lack of care shown towards the series by Granada itself. The budgets began to shrink by 1988, and while the series looked good for the most part, it did impact the show.

Probably the first disappointing episode is the double-length adaptation of The Hound of the Baskervilles from 1988. You would expect the Granada series, with their excellent leads and excellent track record up to this point, to create the definitive version of this often-filmed story, but it just isn’t. It isn’t bad, but it is ultimately mediocre in a way that is hard to pinpoint. My guess is that the direction and cinematography doesn’t manage to create the suspense the story needs, resulting in a slow-paced and slightly boring experience.

It also ends up show-casing the problems the show would now begin to have, with the production crew not having the money to do location shooting on Dartmoor and Brett obviously showing the signs of his failing health.

The Hound film was followed by a season of six 50-minute length episodes, called The Case-book of Sherlock Holmes. And these were mostly fine, considering the circumstances. The budget had been reduced compared to earlier seasons and you could tell the writers sometimes lacked a first-rate canonical story to adapt.

There were one or two weaker episodes, but those were due to the original story being weak. For example, the season ended with a faithful adaptation of The Creeping Man and it is as good and well-made a tv adaptation you could ever hope to make with such a bizarre plot. The result is of course pure camp, but so is the original story. When the show had a good Conan Doyle story to adapt, like The Boscombe Valley Mystery, The Problem of Thor Bridge or The Illustrious Client, the results are indeed up to the standards of its past.

The real nadir of the series came later, however, when in 1992-93 the series decided to do three double-length episodes. Granada wanted the Holmes series to copy the success of Inspector Morse and its 100 minute tv film format. The problem was the show would still adapt Conan Doyle’s short stories into a format that was far too long for them. So the scriptwriters had to pad the stories out with their own inventions.

This sort of worked for the first film of these three films, The Master Blackmailer. It was based on Charles Augustus Milverton, which is one of the shortest stories in the canon, but one of the most rich in dramatic potential. Writer Jeremy Paul’s script decided to show in detail what is merely mentioned in the story, such as Milverton blackmailing people and Holmes courting Milverton’s maid in order to gain access to his home. The end result works, it is somewhat slow-paced but is ultimately coherent and at its best feels like you are watching the backstory to the canonical events.

The same can’t be said for the second and third of these films, The Last Vampyre and The Eligible Bachelor. The Last Vampyre is an almost completely incoherent non-adaptation of The Sussex Vampire, where elements from the canonical story probably make up less than 5% of the resulting film. There is an attempt to create intrigue and suspense around the original character Stockton, but the film is so vague about what he is and what threat he poses that the resulting film makes no sense.

The Eligible Bachelor is a similar adaptation of The Noble Bachelor, where the canonical story elements that remain is entirely subsided by a new bizarre plot where Lord St. Simon is now a ruthless Bluebeard-like villain. It is slightly better than The Last Vampyre, simply because the villain here poses an identifiable and somewhat coherent threat. Still, the film has to pad things out with bizarre subplots, like Holmes having prophetic dreams, which ultimately doesn’t lead anywhere.

Wisely, the series returned to the 50 minute format for the last season of six episodes, which aired in 1994, under the name of “he Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes. It was with this season Jeremy Brett’s health problems and the lower budgets really began to seriously affect the show. Brett was in a bad state at this point, and the description of the production in Davies’s book makes for sad reading.

During the filming of one episode in this season, The Three Gables, he had to use a wheelchair between takes and supplementary oxygen to ease his breathing. His performance is naturally lacking in the energy he once had, but the fact it is a performance at all is testament to his commitment. The Three Gables is actually one of the better episodes of this season, as it actually manages to improve on one of the weakest stories in the canon.

Edward Hardwicke was unavailable to film The Golden Pince-nez, and they couldn’t re-schedule the shooting dates (which I suspect was a budget issue). So the writer wrote out Watson and replaced him in the role of Sherlock’s assistant with Mycroft, since Charles Gray was available. The result is well-made otherwise, with guest stars Frank Finlay and Anna Carteret giving great performances, but the lack of Watson is sorely felt. It is fun to see Charles Gray’s Mycroft again, but it feels contrary to his character to accompany his brother like this.

And before he could film The Mazarin Stone,  Brett’s health gave out on him and he was hospitalized. Again Charles Gray was called in by the producer to play Mycroft as a substitute. It is nice to see Mycroft for a fourth time, but Mycroft doing this doesn’t feel true to his character. And this episode is one of the weakest in the series, due to the script. Not that I blame the scriptwriter too much, The Mazarin Stone is one of the worst stories in the canon. The efforts to improve on the story by combining it with another weak story  The Three Garridebs don’t at all manage to rescue it.

However, there are still some rather good episodes in this season . The Red Circle is good and The last ever episode of the series, The Cardboard box manages to close out the series on a good if dark note.

Jeremy Brett died in 1995 due to heart failure, ending all hope of any future series.

I might have delved too much on the series failures in this essay. Because all of that is outweighed by the consistent high quality the series managed to achieve in the first four seasons, and with a few failures, still managed to sometimes achieve again in the later ones. Those adaptations are perhaps the peak of Holmes on screen.

It is not my favourite adaptation, that is the BBC radio drama versions made starring Clive Merrison as Holmes from 1989 to 2010. Those were just as consistently good, with Merrison and Williams/Sachs as Holmes and Watson being on the same general level as Brett and Burke/Hardwicke as performances. In fact, the BBC version is more consistent, never going off the rails as the Granada version sometimes, and it actually managed to achieve the goal Brett had hoped for: adapting every canonical story.

Still that doesn’t take away from Granada’s great achievement in adapting the Holmes stories with such quality. It is an achievement that later movie and tv adaptations haven’t been able to surpass.

[bellatrixobsessed1]

Some of my favorite Azula pictures and why I like them (part 1 of ?);

First and foremost these are in no particular order. Tbh I’m just looking for an excuse to talk about Azula, but not in the form of memes or fics. 

1. I’ve just always just loved the mirror scene as a whole. I like this picture because you can see all of the care that the animators put in here. Like all of the background details just really help build the scene. I also kind of wonder if this is part of her bedroom, the spa room, or a bathroom. It doesn’t really look like a bathroom, but if it is that’s one hella fancy bathroom. I also like how they detail her robes; all of the folds and wrinkles and how it kind of just flows with her movements. It’s just good animation. Also she’s doing that thing with her face where it is nice to look at. 

2. I’ve just always been a fan of this scene. Tbh I think that this is probably the scene where she is at her pretties in the entire show. Superficial things aside, I like this picture because it just exudes sass! Like this is peak Azula princess mode. She’s where she belongs, standing in the middle of a ring of blue fire that is also her throne. 

Plus it really kinda highlights how long her hair is. Idk what kind of magic her servants use to get it all into that little top knot, but whatever it is, Azula herself doesn’t even posses that power, apparently.

3. I know that I mentioned the pic above being peak Azula. But, like, this is peak Azula. She’s just really in her element here and she is playing Long-Feng (as the good memes put it) like the cheap kazoo he is. This picture radiates a powerful HBIC energy and I live for that shit.

4. This one I like because there is just so much emotion in it. The way they have her gripping the comb, the grit of her teeth, just her overall expression. This one screenshot alone conveys more emotion than she’s ever really displayed before it. I also appreciate the manner in which they animated her hair and tears.

5. This pic is absolutely feral and I love it. There’s this deadly but unhinged sort of confidence here. Frankly, I think that this is the most confident that she looked during that Agni Kai and it is ironic because it comes just before her downfall. I think that it’s also interesting because her stance seems much more tense than her usual ones. It also seems to be...I don’t want to say sloppy...but it is less refined than what she usually does in fights. 

6. *Insert another spiel about great background detail. But tbh 

7. I like this one because it’s just such a mundane moment. It’s one of those times where we get to see Azula and TyLee just chillin’ and doin’ normal people stuff. 

The background is lovely and well drawn too; I love the sunset and the overall details of the house in the backdrop and the water. The foods on the table and the plants are nice.

And Azula just looks adorable. Like look at that face. It’s precious.

8. There’s just something I really love about this particular expression. @dragomer​ put is best in saying that it conveys this lethargic sort of deadliness. Like she’s tired as hell but can still kill a man. 

9. Azula in pajamas is my aesthetic. First of all, that bed can fit about twelve Azula’s and an Appa. Those golden accents are worth more than my entire house, probably lol. Her bed just looks so cozy. And so do her pajamas. It’s just always neat to see what characters wear to bed; for one thing it’s another thing that shows what they’re like as people and for seconds, it’s another thing that kinda adds humanization. You get to see what the characters do when they aren’t doing character/plot-driven things.

Another aspect of this image that I love is that this is just pure sibling energy. Like she was probably hella comfortable and then Zuko waltzes in like, “hEY i HaVE a tHINg TO aSK!” And you can just see the complete dissatisfaction on her face, because she just wants to catch some z’s. 

Also Azula looks precious with a ponytail. 10/10

10. This is another one of those things where her expression just says a lot. Azula has always been a confident and kind of smug person. This face just oozes that. Again, she looks totally feral and its wonderful. 

11. A very rear empathetic Azula. If I remember this particular part of the scene well it is either while Zuko is relaying his story or just after his large burst of fire died down. People really like to argue that Azula’s a sociopath who can’t feel sympathy but I think that there’s enough canon evidence to say that this isn’t true (and this moment is one of them). She’s just really good at hiding things like sympathy/isn’t great at conveying it. But in this cap you can see that she does seem to have a genuine care for Zuko’s issues. People like to argue that she does nice things to make herself look good in front of people; but there’s no one hear to really impress, she already has the companionship of those with her. This is Azula expressing a little hit of compassion. I feel like it conveys a bit of vulnerability too; just the way she has her legs drawn together and her arms folded. Her posture is a lot softer here. 

12. This is another softer moment. Here you get to see a very different side of Azula. She seems much more relaxed and happy, however short-lived. Like, pretty much all of her smiles in the show are more of smirks. This is a very genuine smile with no viciousness behind it. Her posture is much more lax, in this scene she is just a teenage girl. It’s such a rare moment for her. I wish we got to see more of light and happy Azula. 

13. A very adorable baby who is having trouble expressing her problems. I think that her eyes say a lot in this picture. I think that they express a little bit of hurt and a touch of reluctance. I think that is another gentler moment for her. 

14. Kay so she is definitely judging them lol. I think that this is a more minor moment where you get to see Azula’s poor socialization coming through. Like she’s scanning her surroundings like a fukkin’ war ground. I guess that for her it kind of is, but a very different kind lol.

15.  😂 😂 😂

16. And finally, I like this one because, like many Beach screencaps, you see a softer Azula. Her face portrays at least a little confidence but her stance and posture are more timid. The way that she grips the cup, at least to me, indicates a bit of nervousness. But she’s still Azula so she’s just gonna walk right up and interrupt that conversation. 

[angelicthor]

billion dollar man - part 13

pairing: tony stark x reader

summary: after mounting bills and debt cause you to look at alternative means of making money, you’re thrown into a whole different kind of life when one of the most famous billionaires on the block offers to be your sugar daddy, of course in exchange for a different from of payment. non-superhero au.

warnings/genre: +18 only, sugarbaby/daddy relationship, fluff, slight angst, nat & wanda centric chapter

masterlist | billion dollar man masterlist

a/n: am i recasting the entire mcu? why yes. yes i am. as always, please let me know what you think! 

The bar you were in was a slight change to the establishments you had recently been frequenting, but it was an old favourite of yours and Wanda and honestly, it was nice to be back, to exchange the extravagant dresses for a pair of worn in jeans and expensive champagne for a bottle of beer.

You were somewhat nervous at bringing Nat here, not knowing how she’d find it but she surprised you when she said she used to come to bars like this all the time before she started her brand and that she had rather missed the atmosphere they provided.

What stunned you more was the fact that her knee wouldn’t stop bouncing with nerves, foot tapping on the floor as she pecked at the label on her bottle whilst you both waited for Wanda to join you.

“Nat would please relax, trust me Wanda’s gonna love you,” You tried to reassure her.

“Sorry, sorry; It’s just – I’m not exactly a people person, and I don’t usually make a great first impression, I mean remember how I acted around you? It wasn’t exactly the height of hospitality.”

“Don’t worry about that, Wanda’s got this…energy – it’s like she can get into people’s minds and put them at ease or something, I swear the girl’s magic. The number of difficult situations she has got us out of is unreal.”

Before Nat had a chance to pry on what kind of difficult situations you two had to wiggle your way out of, your name was shouted from across the bar, your eyes meeting those of Wanda walking through the door with her arms spread wide as everyone gaped at her.

Wanda’s hair fell in thick dark curls over her shoulders, dark eyes sparkling with glee as a devious smirk played on her crimson painted lips, she was adorned in a maroon velvet shawl, a long flowy black dress underneath, her fingers decorated in a multitude of rings and a collection of bangles decked her wrist, tinkling with every movement of her arm. Around her neck was a long silver chain with a Star of David charm dangling from the centre that you had gifted her on her last birthday and she had worn nearly every day since.

“Hey sweetie!” Wanda hollered, Serbian accent still slightly coating her words as she plopped into the seat next to yours, throwing her arms around you as she pressed a kiss to your cheek, no doubt leaving a red stain of her lips on your skin. “You must be Natasha - Y/N told me a lot about you, it’s nice to finally put a face to the name,” Wanda extended her arm for Nat to shake which the redhead readily accepted.

“God what a day, tell me why I’m stuck dealing with the bridezilla from hell? I’ve done nothing in my life to deserve this, ever.”

Wanda complained as you snorted at her dramatics, Nat asking what she did for a living which started Wanda on explaining that she owned her own florist shop in Brooklyn with you interjecting at random points to compliment her work – she did the most amazing floral displays you had ever seen, which unfortunately left her rather in demand.

You let Wanda and Nat become accustomed to each other, asking things you already knew about them both as the three of you sipped on your beers, grinning as you noticed the way Nat’s shoulders lowered and her leg stop bouncing under the table as her nerves left her.

Soon enough, the beer turned to shots of tequila at Wanda’s excited demands, you and Nat laughing at her instance, watching as she precariously balanced a tray laden with shot glasses as she staggered towards the small table you were sat at. You tipped your head back as you swallowed the liquor in one gulp, face twisting in disgust at the burn as you quickly grabbed one of the lime wedges, the sour juices easing the bitter aftertaste of the tequila.  

A slight fog settled over your mind as the alcohol took effect, your thoughts becoming hazy and movements lethargic as you stumbled out of your chair and crossed the bar, stumbling slightly as you made your way towards the jukebox in the corner, struggling to insert the coins before you searched through the hundreds of songs available, a grin tugging at your lips as found what you were looking for.

Nat and Wanda both cheered as Nancy Wilson’s opening rift filled the bar, Ann Wilson’s killer vocals following soon after as Crazy on You began to play, the pair beginning to belt out the lyrics as if it were karaoke, forcing you to join in as you sat back down, ignoring the peculiar looks from the other patrons.

“Let me go crazy on you,” Nat cut off her performance, giggling drunkenly as she eyed you mischievously, “So Y/N, I’ve always been curious, do you go crazy on Tony or does he go crazy on you? I’ve never been able to figure it out, he’s definitely into it either way.”

You choked on your drink, spluttering as you stared at Nat with wide eyes waiting for the inevitable storm coming your way.

“You’re sleeping with him?” Wanda erupted, eyes blazing with rage as you offered her a guilty smile. “You told me it was just for appearances, you never said anything about sex.”

You recoiled as Wanda hissed at you, the fury radiating from her being reminding you just how scary the seemingly docile woman could be.

“Wan, please don’t yell,” You spoke calmly, casting your eyes about the bar to make sure no one was staring at you, “I swear, there’s nothing to worry about. It’s just a friends-with-benefits type situation, just with more benefits than usual.”

The underlying worry in her eyes didn’t waver at your words and Natasha, who until then looked sheepish for letting something slip that she shouldn’t have, also joined her in her concern.

“Are you sure? I’ve known Tony a long time Y/N and I’ve never seen him act like the way he is when he’s around you, the way he looks at you – is it really just friendship?”

You gawked as you searched for an answer, mouthing words but no sound coming out as you tried to wrap your mind around what Nat had just told you. You tried to be logical: Tony only acted that way around you because he needed to, he was grateful for what you were doing for him, you two had become friends over the course of your fake relationship and it was fake. But there was a part of you, that stupid rotten romantic heart of yours, that warmed at the thought of Tony wanting more, of feeling more.

“Y/N,” Wanda spoke softly, reaching across the table to place her hand on top of yours, “I just don’t want to see you hurt again, Tony - he just reminds me too much of-”

“He’s nothing like him,” You spat, voice laced with venom at the mention of you ex.

Or perhaps it was the fact that Wanda apparently thought that he and Tony were equals.

You didn’t wish to dissect these thoughts, instead you excused yourself to the toilets, avoiding the anxious stares of Nat and Wanda as you did. Locking the door behind you, you splashed cold water on your face in an attempt to calm your racing heart, resting against the countertop as you bid your thoughts to slow themselves down and allow you to collect yourself.

Back at the table Wanda and Nat were waiting for your return, guilt gnawing at them both for pushing you for an answer you clearly didn’t want to give, but their pressure stemmed from a good place, their love for you their top priority.

“You said you knew Tony well, right?” Wanda asked, Nat nodding her head in affirmation, “Be honest with me, do you think he’d hurt her?”

Nat mulled over the question, trying to find the answer, but it was difficult; she’d never seen Tony in a situation like this before, his dates lasted the night and there was a new one on his arm when she next saw him.

“No, I don’t think so,” Nat answered her after much consideration, “Not on purpose at least; Tony cares about her, more than he realises, but he’s never had a serious relationship before - he may not know how to handle it.”

“If he does hurt her, I’ll tear him limb from limb,” Wanda threatened, voice dropping to a near growl.

“If he does, then I offer you my assistance,” Nat remarked, a dark smirk pulling at her lips before her and Wanda burst into a fit of giggles.

They were still laughing when you came back, the corner of your lip quirking up at the sight of them together, you knew before the night even began that they would get along like a house on fire and regardless of the slight hitch in the nights festivities you were glad of it.

“Hey, did you ever tell Nat about the Billy Russo incident?” Wanda asked with a mischievous glint in her eye.

You threw your head back with an embarrassed groan, burying your face in your hands as Wanda recounted the tale to an eager Nat of the time you saw your then crush on a night out, nerves and alcohol getting the better of you as you ended up retching your stomach contents all down his pant leg much to your horror.

It had taken you weeks to recover from the mortification, refusing to go out with Wanda much to her annoyance and you could feel your cheeks heat up as Nat and Wanda boisterously laughed at the story, fighting off your own smile as you remembered the shock on poor Billy’s face.

More tales were told; most by Wanda, the woman loved a good story, some by you, and some by Nat. You had an inclining that Nat choose her stories with the purpose of warming Wanda up to the idea of Tony, each one she said left you with a soft smile on your face as you vividly imagined your little group of friends and the shenanigans they got up to.

Before you knew it, the night was drawing to an end, Happy pulling up to the curb outside the bar where you were all waiting. Nat’s own driver came for her and she bid you goodnight with a hug before moving to do the same to Wanda, promising you both that you’d get together again soon.

You offered to take Wanda home and she reluctantly agreed, marveling at the interior of the luxury car as you introduced her to Happy. The ride to her apartment was quick and as she was stepping out of the car she asked if you were staying at yours tonight but you decided against it, wanting to go home to Tony’s and check up on him - you had texted him earlier on in the night and he still hadn’t replied, a dark feeling of dread building up in you as your mind conjured a number of unpleasant scenarios.

Home.

You froze when you realised that you considered Tony’s apartment to be more your home than your own did now. You blamed it on the fact that you spent most of your time there, that staying in your own apartment was foreign to you now.

That was all it was.

“Hey Hap, have you heard off Tony tonight? I text him earlier, but he never answered me,” You asked, hoping your voice sounded as casual as you willed it to be, teeth gnawing at your lower lip as your stomach began to twist into knots.

“No, haven’t heard from him. I’m sure he’s fine though, probably blasting AC/DC in his lab way too loud to hear his phone.”

You forced a chuckle at his jibe, knowing that he was probably doing exactly that, but his logic was a poor remedy to your paranoia and it did nothing to calm your growing nerves. The second the car came to a stop outside of the Baxter Building, you bolted from the backseat, throwing Happy a ‘thank you’ and ‘goodnight’ over your shoulder as you rushed towards the entrance.

The in the elevator seemed to take forever, foot tapping on the metal floor in impatience as you waited for the doors to open into Tony’s penthouse, wondering why everything seemed to move so much more slower when all you wanted was for it to hasten.

The doors finally opened into the apartment and you hurried inside, dumping your bag in the hallway as you called out Tony’s name, the lack of response causing your panic to rise before you froze in the doorway to the living room, mouth snapping shut as you silently crept forward.

Across the couch lay Tony, one arm dangling on the floor next to a discarded cushion, the TV still playing in the background, his mouth hanging open as a soft snore resonated from his chest with every exhale. Your heart fluttered at the sight, a soft smile playing at your lips as you watched him get the sleep he so desperately needed, Tony was normally the last to sleep and the first to rise and so this was a rare sight for you and you couldn’t help but think how far he had come from when you had first met him.

You moved to kneel beside him, fingers gently stroking through his short tresses, watching as his eyes flickered beneath closed lids. His phone lighting up on the coffee table next to you drew your attention away, the device reminding him of your text that remained unopened and you picked it up in curiosity, swiping the text away and pausing when you saw what was under it.

A picture of the two of you filled the screen, his arm wrapped around you, lips pressed into your hair as your eyes shut in bliss, basking at the attention. You can’t remember seeing the photo before and you didn’t know which you found more startling: the fact that you were his lockscreen or the way he was looking at you.

Nat’s words came circling in your head like a record on repeat.

I’ve never seen him act like this.

He’s never looked at anyone the way he looks at you.

The way he looks at you.

You glanced back at the photo on the phone, how both of you seemed so wrapped up in each other, the adoration, the tenderness. The, dare you say it, love.

Your well-rehearsed excuse, the idea that it was all a front, a trick to fool the world felt so weak now. You wondered if maybe it had worked to well, that maybe you had managed to trick yourselves into thinking this relationship was on a platonic basis only when it couldn’t be further from the truth.

You didn’t like these thoughts, they invited unwanted feelings into your heart that weighed it down like a rock in a river. What if Nat was wrong and Tony didn’t feel the same? He was an infamous womanizer and the only reason he had supposedly changed his ways was to keep his company, you’d be foolish to think that you alone could accomplish that.

The darkness clouding your mind evaporated as you glanced back down at Tony’s sleeping form, stroking your fingers over his face as you softly urged him to wake up, bleary eyes staring up at you before a lazy smile tugged at his lips.

“Hey,” he rasped, voice thick with sleep.

“Hey baby, wanna head to bed?”

Tony nodded in answer, swinging his legs over the edge of the sofa as he sluggishly sat up, the both of you stumbling up the stairs towards his bedroom. You readied yourselves for bed in silence, Tony because he was still on the verge of sleep, barely conscious enough to brush his teeth, and you because you were afraid of what you would say if you did try to speak.

You sighed when you finally settled into the bed, the fresh sheets wrapping you in a blanket of serenity, the feeling of Tony’s arms around your waist providing you with a level of comfort you couldn’t quite explain.

Tony pressed a kiss to your forehead, wishing a good sleep before he fell back into the realm of dreams once again. You burrowed your face into his chest, pressing a chaste kiss to the scar that ran down his sternum, pushing your unwanted thoughts to the side as you joined Tony in slumber.

a/n: i don’t have a tag list but if you want alerts please follow @angelicthorwrites and turn on notifications

[ywjinsang-blog]

hey everyone !! this is your neighbourhood laze about, koo jinsang. a weaver of lies and spinner of tall tales. hes ( 19 ) and effectively useless. he came from seoul when he was thirteen and has lived in yangwon since then with his maternal grandparents. you can read more about his life here. i’ve done a decently detailed explanation of him under the cut as well as some quite plots for anyone~ fair warning though, today my internet is being very unreliable and i’m not certain how much i can get done ; v ;

please like this though, and i will come plot with you when i can!

the quick run down of his family is, his ( grandfather ) was a retired veterinarian in the town until he passed and his ( grandmother ) is an old school herbalist. if jinsang was sick or injured, there was little chance he was going to a doctor and instead would be stuck drinking some weird herbal tea that she made. she doesn’t do it as a job, but she does fulfil requests of the more elderly people in yangwon as favours. it’s rare that you’ll see jinsang’s parents as they have both remained in seoul, his ( mother ) a veterinarian and his ( father ) a lawyer. although jinsang has spread numerous lies about his father being an astronaut or a spy or something else, and his mother working with famous stars. 

jinsang, himself, is a high school graduate, and has been working as a ( cashier ) at the general store for a few years now. he has zero plans to do anything more. his entire energy is usually lethargic and disinterested, and he walks around aimlessly with his hands stuffed in his pockets. until he’s telling a story or lie, that’s when he becomes most animated. calling him out on his lies, makes him frustrated and visibly upset, and he’ll likely declare some empty threat about proving you wrong. imagine a ( cool city boy ), but stuck at the emotional age of an eight year old boy. he fervently believes that aliens do exist and that he will prove it one day. he’s into every sort of conspiracy theory, and enjoys making up his own. one of his major skills is that he ( can say a lot without actually saying anything ). a lot of bullshitting and talking himself up. he does do it to make himself look and feel special, but he isn’t self aware enough to realise that, and prefers to convince himself that what he’s saying is true or there’s a deeper reason for it.

he honestly doesn’t have any attachment to yangwon and he sticks by the belief that he shouldn’t get attached to anyone in yangwon--despite being there for six years now--since he’s just waiting for his parents to come get him and to go back to seoul. still, he’s genuinely ( soft-hearted underneath ) and can’t completely stop himself from forming attachments regardless.

( plots )

( 01 ) whenever you go to the general store, jinsang doesn’t greet you and gets your change wrong -- seemingly on purpose. you don’t know what you did to upset him. all you want to do is shop, in peace. he could at least smile!

( 02 ) jinsang’s parents always sent him expensive gifts and the latest technology and releases from seoul, and he enjoys showing it off; maybe you’re impressed, or maybe you just find him annoying

( 03 ) you happen to be there when jinsang injures himself while trying to find proof of alien presence in yangwon, and you’re insisting on taking him to the local clinic and he’s proving difficult

( 04 ) jinsang had a crush on you when he was in high school, it was obvious by how much time he’d spend staring at you and yet, whenever you spoke to him, he’d pretend not to hear you. he might be over his crush now, but it’s still awkward to be around him

( 05 ) it’s late and you’re supposed to be asleep, except you caught sight of a flash light through the window of your room and you’ve caught jinsang snooping around in the dark. he insists that he was abducted and dropped there, do you really believe him?

( 06 ) you were out in the woods or the mountains, and stumbled upon something you believe is edible, and out of no where, jinsang knocks it out of your hand and crushes it under his shoe. first, rude. second. what was that for? he says he just saved your life, but he lies about everything else

( 07 ) you hate jinsang. everything about him. he’s always lying, he has no interest or ambition. he’s everything that is wrong with the youth of today. he’s a city kid who has never fit in, and you hate him more, because he doesn’t seem bothered by how much you hate him

( 08 ) when jinsang first arrived in yangwon, you were a bit starry-eyed at the cool city boy who came into town. during your teens, you even dated. in secret, by jinsangs request. something about not wanting the secret agents to find out and harm you. it had been fun at the time, but after nearly getting caught holding hands, jinsang broke it off with you. quite harshly, if you remember correctly.

( 09 ) jinsangs conscience, his jiminy cricket, someone who is trying to help guide him into a better life. someone whose trying to help him find some sort of purpose while he’s here in yangwon. he apparently needs one with all the lies and trouble he accidentally causes with his attitude

[newcolorworld]

Vegetarian- Is It Really Good For A Healthy Life--

LIFESTYLE OF A VEGETARIAN

Food buying vegetarian is also an eye-opening experience and the one which is fairly diverse in greater ways than you'd guess. Being a real vegetarian is not exactly about that which you never eat for the reason you never eat beef. It's likewise all about a wholly different method of foods and diet. That means you are not going to find a vegetarian purchasing food in an identical manner a lot of individuals really do. There is going to be a lot more hours in the fresh produce part of this supermarket shop. The voucher basket of the vegetarian will probably provide them off every single time as it's going to be packed with foods that are fresh.

But searching for foodstuff having a vegetarian way of purchasing in different regions compared to neighborhood food shops. This indicates purchasing sausage and legumes in bulk in a store as this is 1 means a vegetarian preserves wellbeing by substituting the nourishment as well as other nutritional supplements that the remainder of the earth receives from beef and substituting it together with proteins out of legumes and different organic meals. Additionally, it entails purchasing farmer's markets and shopping at a vegetarian specialization retail store for several high-quality protein replacements such as kale.

Probably the most essential gap in how a vegetarian resides is apparent as it's in how she or he investigates. You are not going to discover any meat at a vegetarian cooking area. This will not signify a vegetarian can't dwell at family members and become in peace together with cats. If your house has just one vegetarian however many others that are perhaps not, you are going to have the ability to inform from your existence of soy along with more good fresh fruit along with more fresh veggies at the icebox. However, the notion that drinkers cannot be all-around beef eaters is not false. If so drinkers are peace-loving and certainly will endure their life across the others that are no matter these view strategy nicely.

Your household of the vegetarian is also considered a re-cycling residence to complete everything can be done to lower back on waste and also so are ground helpful. Together side recycling cans and bottles while you may anticipate, a vegetarian recycles much right in your residence. A re-cycling dwelling may frequently possess a mulch pile at the lawn for food-waste also it is also going to encourage a nice sized backyard to utilize that mulch to cultivate in house organic meals to dietary supplement a wholesome diet regime.

Among the largest injustices the vegetarian movements have suffered is the fact that in common tradition, the picture of the vegetarian is the fact that of the enthusiast wracking or cult celebrity that is"from the deep end" and can't consider other things aside from"rescuing a bunny" and hammering vegetarianism about everybody else he meets. The reality is the fact that the approach to life of the vegetarian isn't so different compared to everybody in society. The truth is that the chances are that someplace on your circle on the job church, school or on your loved ones and buddies community, you know a few men and women who're gently enjoying the life span of the vegetarian. Thus that will simply help us grasp within the unwanted stereotypes to comprehend how exactly a vegetarian in fact resides, allows study what's different in beers' daily life.

For apparent reasons, a vegetarian will probably possess vegetarian friends and appeal to societal circles and wait for roles that encourage the vegetarian way of life. Eating at restaurants using a vegetarian diet may signify heading into more cultural food eating places and you also may understand plenty of imagination in how exactly to arrange foods at a grocery store. However, despite popular belief, vegetarian ingestion is much more tasty and assorted in relation to the diet.

Only spending daily having a vegetarian can show you a much far more harmonious lifestyle that's painful and sensitive towards the surroundings and also at peace with itself. It's a healthful and joyful way of life and also the one which ought to be popular with us.

The vegetarian movements are at stability with several of the ground first moves like the natural and organic movement and also the green motion. Thus a vegetarian cooking area is going to do have significantly more organic food items hand to decrease the clear presence of unsafe pesticides as well as other compounds from the diet plan. Additionally, vegetarianism impacts the approach to life beyond only the icebox as well as the cabinet. You are not going to discover leather outfits within a vegetarian cupboard and also you won't locate fur that there. This really is growing to become for its large part drinkers are allergic to animal rights plus also they don't really wish to observe your skin of creatures utilized within their own clothing.

GOOD OF VEGETARIANISM

The ethical, spiritual and ethical explanations for being a vegetarian are now likewise famous. Lots of religions involve a daily diet without meat along with recurrent fasting. A vegetarian diet regime provides you far increased control within the desire therefore that you may detect religious areas that predict for bodily refusal to get a brief while and also receive each one the religious goodness away from these.

Occasionally the single thing actually keeping you back out of getting the huge measure of being a vegetarian will be always to visit a strong grasp of exactly what you are certain to gain out of this. Too frequently we begin ingestion cutting and right off meat out of our daily diet for being a drudgery and something we"have to do" however we do not desire to. But learning to be a vegetarian is still a huge life shift plus the one which you ought to make with every single aim of staying a vegetarian to get the life. The single means to make that type of daily life transform"adhere" will be always to own several tangible and desired positive effects you will comprehend from this shift. When there is certainly"anything inside for you personally" aside from getting considered a fantastic man like you" if" do it, then you may adopt the shift further afield.

Aside from the religious principles, increasingly increasing numbers of folks are getting to be informed that consuming beef is either untrue or unethical. It's maybe not"kooky" or mad to realize the increasing of creatures to allow individuals to eliminate and try to eat sounds shameful to get a cultivated civilization including ours. It isn't hard to uncover terror tales of these grisly methods animals are slaughtered to eventually become our food items. To eventually become a portion of this answer as section of the challenge is attracting lots of folks that own a notion. And vegetarianism a section of this remedy which should most of us adopted vegetarianism, it'd have been a much far better planet for everybody.

One particular gain that lots of new moves to vegetarianism see but don't find a lot of protection is how far superior their digestive procedures will probably continue to work minus the load which beef puts onto their own interiors. Maybe not only are you going to eat up the meal more readily, but you are not going to believe "hefty and lethargic" feeling and you'll sleep even have sex. That's since the bad effect of creature muscle onto your own intestines will probably evaporate. Additionally, you will find that it on your own intestines as well as also your own elimination. In the most manner, the performance of one's internal mechanics is going to soon be much simpler as you just offer it meatless food to reside on.

As lots of top-priced fat reduction programs since you will find, there can be no better one and also yet one who is carried out for no price would be always to simply quit eating beef. You hardly ever match with an extra fat vegetarian since there's simply not too far at a non-fat meal to develop into obese. Berries fast convert into energy, so send vitamins into your own systems and also the remnant render your own body without any trouble so that your fat burning capacity will normally accelerate up thus that you shed bodyweight.

The wellness rewards are possibly the enthusiasm which induces many visitors to embrace a beef diet plan. The easy truth is the fact that science has shown that individuals aren't natural meat-eaters. Yes, we all could survive meat however our strategies aren't ideal to eat up the thick food which beef reflects on your gastrointestinal tract.

Some of those absolute most recurring federal health issues might be followed to beef ingestion. Everything from weight problems to cardiovascular problems to growing older generally seems to become for this ingestion of beef. As meat is much tougher in our inside processes to digest, both eliminate and utilize, the effect in your own insides is catastrophic. Vegetarians tend to suffer from a high incidence of colon cancer, obesity, cardiovascular problems or cardiovascular disease.

A single huge advantage a vegetarian life could cause you will be it is far less hassle to the lifestyle because being a vegetarian plus it's much more affordable. It will not require an exact extensive day at the supermarket retailer to appreciate even a little slab of beef or perhaps a pound of hamburger is a lot pricier when compared to the usual mind of cabbage along with perhaps a lot of carrots. The meal costs might plummet should you reevaluate your own life and also eat just sweet meals. As well as also your meal will probably survive more in storage.

HOW OF VEGETARIANISM

A large choice to make and something which you ought to feel through ahead of you begin your course into the lifetime of the vegetarian is how you are going to make the changeover. You may be excited and would like to really go"cold turkey" or some exact unpleasant vegetarian regime. However, it just isn't advised since it increases the likelihood that you can experience a lot more intense responses to clipping so much of one's diet plan. Remember that your human body can be accustomed to a particular degree of ingestion. Thus make alterations at some time and simplicity to a new wholesome way of life.

Occasionally the actual barrier of earning that huge shift on your own life to learning to be a vegetarian isn't exactly the"why" of earning this huge shift on your way of life nevertheless precisely how. It's not difficult to discover superior motives to get rid of meat in the daily diet plan. You'll find ethical motives, religious factors and preceding all wellness reasons which make the shift that an ideal fit to where you're in existence at the moment.

That's precisely why among those huge actions for generating the shift is usually to function well in touch with your motives and priorities for learning to be a vegetarian. This really may be definitely the most crucial from the very first months of one's new lifestyle since you're accustomed to the daily diet and also the wellness impacts in your own system. And due to the fact many vegetarian foods move via an adjustment period of time since you promise you will find enough vitamins and protein, you are going to truly have a lot of fresh senses and matters happening interior this may consider some endurance to make it through.

By beginning intelligent, consulting with your physician and be conscious of your nutrient supplements and vitamin demands since it's possible to alter your diet plan and lifestyle, then you are going to gradually facilitate to a life that is vegetarian. So that since you need to do that you can observe which you aren't only moving off out of a terrible diet plan however proceeding toward you may enjoy and also the one which is going to help your wellbeing for quite a while in the future.

At times the rationale why we restrain from accepting the dip on getting drinkers comes out of a panic that's seated in shortage of advice. Thus that the most obvious way is always to learn everything you are able to on your daily diet and also what things to expect while you start living the life span of the vegetarian diet. The very best priority on your brand new instruction application is how you can generate an eating plan which satisfies your dietary requirements in addition to delivers you sufficient selection to become gratifying minus the current presence of beef. The very fantastic thing is there certainly is certainly a wide range of internet sites and publications it's possible to utilize to learn how exactly to supplement your own daily diet in order that you can get the thing you want to start your own life for being a vegetarian diet.

Thus make certain of one's motives and also return into this"headline" of why you opted to make this shift on your own life from the first location. And just like every amazing objective, in the event that you genuinely have confidence in that which it is you're doing, then you also may push the demanding stains as you wish to call home correct and enjoy some great benefits of living and eating in a sense which is compatible with all the surroundings as well as your very own physiological demands.

There's not any sugar level that the simple fact a considerable shift in diet plan as you'll experience changing into a vegetarian lifestyle will require some getting used to. It's likewise planning to involve self-discipline in your own area to make the changeover. It's true, you are likely to end up fitter and most likely believe a lot better when you could frankly tell the entire world" I'm a vegetarian". However, the changeover might be challenging.

However, what definitely prevents a lot of men and women from earning this exactly favorable shift within their own lives isn't knowing just how exactly to make the changeover. Thus that its good notion to consider exactly what it can suggest being vegetarian therefore we are able to get rid of the puzzle out of exactly what you really might be just about to really do.

If there's a question concerning if or not a vegetarian diet program is suitable for you personally, find healthcare information before it needs to make this a significant difference for that which you take in every day. Your physician is able to assist you to make certain you're taking sufficient vitamins to get continuing wellness insurance and that you're going dishes that offer you adequate nourishment and nourishment therefore that your busy lifestyle isn't hurt from your own fresh eating area.

[dramallamadingdang]

Replies!

These go back a bit, because...yeah. *sheepish smile* 

For @elfpuddle, @nimitwinklesims, @penig, @acquiresimoleons, @pixelated-world, @holleyberry, @timeparadoxsims, @pensblr, @an-elegant-simblr, @yarerakai, @celebkiriedhel, @mrningbrd, @princess-arystyl21, and @sim-boo. Whew! :) 

elfpuddle replied to your photoset “By request, here is the “invisible” roads default I made to match my...”

In theory, then, a person could replace the road textures for each terrain with the default textures and have no roads anywhere? Does modding out signs and traffic happen only in lush hoods, or would that need to be repeated as well?

Modding out traffic is a global thing. If you put in that mod I linked to, you’ll have no neighborhood traffic in any of your neighborhoods, so long as the mod is in your downloads. You have to manually remove the intersection stop signs, though. (They’re just neighborhood deco, perfectly OK to remove as you would any other piece of deco.) But yes, you can have a road default for each type of terrain in the game and you can have multiple different ones that you can switch in and out, although you can only have one road default for each terrain type in your game at a time. So, if you use Maxis terrains, you’d just need four road defaults (one for each terrain type) with the road “pieces” painted to match the terrain.

I tried to make a road default that just consisted of all empty, transparent textures, the goal being to make it “universal,” with the roads being invisible on any terrain, but it didn’t look right. So, it is what it is, but, yes, you could take that default and replace the images with ones from any terrain you use in your game to make it match those terrains. Then you can switch your road defaults in and out as needed for different neighborhoods. That’s the nice thing about defaults. :)

elfpuddle replied to your post “Ugh, I’m so far behind on my dashboard, I don’t think I’ll ever catch...”

ICad is not a bad blogger; she needs to take care of herself first and foremost.

Yeah, I know. It just sucks being sort of chronically not-well. I want to do stuff, and the body doesn’t always cooperate. It’d almost be easier if it was always uncooperative, because then I’d get used to it and be resigned to it and learn to live with it, but it isn’t always like that. More often (at least for now) I have energy to spare and feel perfectly healthy, but sometimes I don’t, and I can’t figure out any rhyme or reason to it. If there was a pattern or a cycle to it, like a menstrual cycle sort of thing or if it was related to eating something or not eating something, then I could know what to expect and when. But there isn’t. It’s very frustrating.

Cherish your liver, people! Baby that sucker! 

nimitwinklesims replied to your photo “Ahahahah! A non-ocean (as in no-waves) beach lot! This is something...”

Yay, very cool! As I just built the fisher's shack on a beach lot on a river, I'm just going to pretend the surf comes from the nearby sea... Even though they're on the mouth of the river... Yeah, well. xD But now I know about this trick for next time! \0/

It is a pretty neat thing. And I discovered it completely by accident, too! I just wanted an off-road beach lot, so I did the moving around. I figured that “Beach Lot” option in the Lot Adjuster would turn it into a beach lot, but I figured it’d generate surf, too. But it didn’t, and I was like, “Hey, cool.” But then a test Sim couldn’t swim, and I was like “Bummer!” But then I remembered the beach portals, which I’d used once before, many years ago, on a non-beach lot that edged neighborhood water, and I’m pretty sure that when I used them there, surf was generated. So, I figured the portals would generate surf on this lot, too. But they didn’t, and I was like, “YEEEESSSSSSSS!” *fist pump* Yay, serendipity! :)

penig replied to your photo “And there’s Amelia Shankel, granddaughter of Goopy GilsCarbo and Sandy...”

Maybe the cook used to know her parents and thinks she looks familiar?

Maybe! I mean, it’s the same cook in every dorm, I think, so she would have known Amelia’s parents. And she’ll probably know Amelia’s great-great-great-great-etc.-grandchildren, too. Immortal undead dorm cooks, yay! Maybe that’s how the manage to work 20 hours a day every day without, you know, dying. :)

acquiresimoleons replied to your photo “Aaron GilsCarbo, grandson of Goopy GilsCarbo and Sandy Bruty, all...”

He's fine!

Yeah, he’s definitely the neighborhood’s hottie! :) Too bad he’s gay, ‘cuz those genes really oughtta be passed around. But, perhaps he’ll get himself abducted by aliens at some point. Of course, then his genes will be eaten by the alien’s, but...

pixelated-world replied to your photoset “Sage had opening-of-the household wants to hire a maid and to…buy a...”

"the little mustache makes him look stereotypically French" -> me : (^・ω・^ ) I just laughed so much at this mustache...

I know! I saw that little mustache and my brain just went off and imagined him doing all those silly stereotypical French things, like running around exclaiming, “Zut alors!” every other second. Or saying things like, “But I am le tired!” It’s all the mustache’s fault!

penig replied to your post “Ugh, I’m so far behind on my dashboard, I don’t think I’ll ever catch...”

Why do you feel guilty about this? We don't want to be a chore!

It’s not guilt so much as regret. I enjoy seeing and commenting on people’s pics and posts. Makes me feel connected to the world, I guess, and when I can’t do it for whatever reason, I just feel regret. Sadness. That sort of thing.

holleyberry replied to your post “Ugh, I’m so far behind on my dashboard, I don’t think I’ll ever catch...”

Sorry to hear you haven't been feeling well. No worries about the Dash. Everyone has RL things that happen.

Yeah, I know. It’s just frustrating. I’ve just been really tired, not really sick, per se, but just really, really lethargic, sleeping most of the day if I don’t deliberately keep myself awake. Stupid metabolic issues. I’d sit down at the computer with grand plans to do stuff...and then I find myself nodding off and occasionally literally headdesking. *sigh* It’s been better today, though. And at least I didn’t miss your Dossanina update! :D Which I’ll be off to read when I’m done with this. :)

timeparadoxsims replied to your post “WCIF Simon's hair please? I'm always on the lookout for nice long male...”

It's a conversion by Umi-Sims2 and it's been reuploaded by sims2packrat here: http://sims2packrat.tumblr.com/post/153963303471

Ahhhhh, that’s why I couldn’t find it then! Thank you! Maybe the “Simon’s hair anon” will see this. Or at least hopefully they’ll see your reply on the post. :)

penig replied to your photo “This is generally a house of slobs which is probably why it’s...”

She's keeping her immune system strong. I've found some sloppy kids do dishes out of an apparent desire to show off how grown up and in-charge they are.

Perhaps. Allison is definitely the bolder of the twins. Her brother’s kind of bookish and apparently happy to be up in his room, playing alone, even though he’s just as outgoing. But Allison’s in everyone’s faces all the time. Even the dogs’ faces.

pensblr replied to your photoset “This is a little thing I just made. Usually, I use a different phone...”

Yes! You have no idea how much I was just grumbling to myself about this very issue a couple of weeks ago. Thank you!

You’re welcome! I’ve been grumbling about it for years, off and on...but it only just then occurred to me that, hey, if I can make something be visible in hood view, surely I can make it invisible in hood view, too! Derp......

an-elegant-simblr replied to your photoset “This is a little thing I just made. Usually, I use a different phone...”

It’s very useful really, I hated that phone booth! I use defaults for the lot (before I just hid it under rocks or underground with an OMSP, but I have lots of witches in Strangetown and it was annoying when they arrived and got trapped), but the hood view wasn’t changed and it looked really ugly in the hood view.

Really? It still looks like that in hood view even if you use a default for the phone booth? That’s...annoying. :P But if that’s the case...Yeah, it’s more useful than I thought, then. It kind of sucks, I suppose, not to have any hood view at all rather than a proper one (especially if you use a default), but it’s better than that hideous yellow-and-blue thing screwing up your hood view in a medieval neighborhood or whatever.

yarerakai replied to your photo “Ahahahah! A non-ocean (as in no-waves) beach lot! This is something...”

Many thanks ! Sometimes it annoys me also when my sims live near a river and can't swim in it.

Or, they CAN swim in it, but that’s because it’s a beach lot with the waves and stuff. I didn’t want that. I wanted to be able to put trees right up to the edge and hanging over the water, like a real river. It looks kind of silly if you do that with ocean waves coming in. :p

celebkiriedhel replied to your photoset “Jupiter became an old, fugly dog. <3”

he is looking like he needs a good feed!

Yeah, I know! He always has. Poor thing has a skinny greyhound-type body and a bulky coonhound-type head. The bulk of his head makes his body look even skinnier. Ah, game. *shakes head*

mrningbrd replied to your post “Hey iCad! Are you still thinking about sharing a custom decorated...”

i would die for an icad neighborhood. i wish hoods werent so susceptible to corruption, im sure that would make it easier

*sigh* Yeah, it probably would. Outside of corruption issues, I wouldn’t worry so much about it, but I want to make it a sub-neighborhood template, so that it can be attached to other neighborhoods or be part of an uberhood or whatever. Can’t be that if it has stealth hoods attached to it, itself. :\ One of these days, I’m going to set up a new user account on this machine and test it out. Hopefully, it’ll work... 

princess-arystal21 replied to your photoset “House #1 for the new pseudo-Amish. It’s pretty much done on the...”

It's so....brown.

*laugh* Yes. Yes it is. :) But, that tends to happen with log construction. Unless it’s fake log construction and you have drywall and stuff inside that you can paint. I wanted “real” log construction, though.

sim-boo replied to your photo “When your dog has enough floof to hide in… Jupiter got his licks in,...”

I want a floof dog

I love floof dogs. I have a big, floofy Mastiff/St. Bernard mix, and I love cuddling with her and burying my face in her floof...when she’s clean. Which isn’t all that often. Which is one of the main problems with floof dogs. :) Especially when they really, really don’t like baths and they weigh more than you do. Bathing them is, like, a three-person job and everyone ends up soaked to the skin, not just the dog.

acquiresimoleons replied to your post “Some replies.”

nono not your recolors, the mesh set.

Ohhhhhhh! Maybe? But I didn’t think that Ray posted on MTS. Maybe someone included the meshes with a recolor set, though. Either way, though, it’s a beautiful set. Worth having twice, maybe! Well, OK, not because that doesn’t do you any good, but you know what I mean. :)

[myaekingheart]

I’m honestly feeling so goddamn tired right now but I really don’t want to go to sleep. Not yet, anyways. It’s the same cycle I always go through, with my mind running on overdrive so that even if my eyelids are heavy and my body is lethargic, my brain keeps pushing me to stay awake. Plus, I also feel kind of...off. Which means no matter how tired I am, sleeping is not a great option. There’s nothing quite like laying in a silent, dark room to really make your mind wander and I know exactly where it’s going to go if I give it the chance right now. It’s going to contemplate every worst case scenario about why I feel weird and spiral me into some sort of stupid panic attack which is certainly not ideal in the slightest. I don’t know what, exactly, is making me feel weird but I know there are definitely a few options on the table.

1) The dishes. My boyfriend asked me to do the dishes while he was at work today. I did not. I have a valid excuse (the cat ripped my hand up yesterday in a flea collar incident and it’s been sensitive ever since) but that doesn’t mean I don’t still feel guilty about it. I made it a point to avoid doing the dishes at all costs because of my hand (and it doesn’t help that I absolutely hate doing the dishes regardless) but at the same time, I was nervous that my boyfriend was going to be upset with me when he got home from work and found that they were still just as they were when he left. Luckily he wasn’t upset (or at least as far as I could tell) but a part of me still felt/feels guilty about it, like I should’ve done it anyways.

2) My mom. I had been planned to call my parents tonight ever since I woke up because I felt like I hadn’t called them in a minute and wanted to say hi and see how they were doing. I waited until after my boyfriend left for work, then called my mother on Messenger so we could video chat. It rings for five minutes and then says she’s unavailable. No sweat. It’s happened before. I figured she was probably just in the bathroom or something. It was 8:30pm so I didn’t dare think she had gone to bed already. She doesn’t go to sleep that early. Well, she texts me and lo and behold she says her and my dad are going to bed because my dad is really tired. Makes sense. He works really long shifts and has to be up at, like, 4:30am. I told her not to sweat it and that I didn’t want to bug them if they were tired but then she insists I call her, so I do. Everything’s fine for the first .25 seconds until I tell her about the incident yesterday with the cat and the flea collar and show her my hand. She immediately breaks down in hysterical tears. I assure her that I’m fine, that it doesn’t hurt that much anymore, and ask her if she’s alright (because honestly, hysterical tears is a little bit of an over-exaggerated reaction if you ask me). She explains how she’s had an emotional day because her and her best friend went to go see this movie about these parents trying to stop their kids from losing their virginity on prom night and it reminded her of me. Not the virginity part, but she said there was a mother-daughter relationship in it where they were best friends and did everything together and the girl got accepted to this college and hid it from her mom but then the mom found out and started crying because she realized her daughter was going to be moving away and they wouldn’t have that relationship anymore and it reminded my mom of me. I get that, I really do, and I understand why she’d be emotional about it, but at the same time she’s just so goddamn overemotional. She was crying so hard that she had to hand the phone to my dad and I didn’t see her or speak to her for the entire rest of the call. This was probably the most palatable part of this whole thing, honestly, because, I mean, at least my dad is sane. I really like talking with him these days. It’s casual. There’s never any crying or whining about how much he misses me. I know he does, but at the same time he’s the kind of parent who knows when to let go and I think he’s really proud of me for doing so well in school and starting my own life and chasing my dreams and all that fluffy shit. So yeah, talking to him was really nice. We didn’t speak for too long because he was really tired and he did have to be in bed early for work in the morning so by 9pm we were saying goodnight and talk to you later. He was sitting in his room getting ready to turn in and I asked him if I could at least say goodnight to my mom before we hung up. I didn’t even know where the fuck she had gone but apparently she was in bed perhaps asleep though my dad couldn’t quite tell. He asked her if she wanted to say goodnight to me and she didn’t answer for a few minutes, and then she let him turn the camera onto her and I am honestly not surprised by the completely indecent vision of her I saw. It’s the same sort of lens I always see her through when she’s had too much to drink and is overemotional and an absolute fucking mess: the red, puffy face, the eyes so narrow they look like slits, the fact that she had already taken her shirt off and was censoring herself with the blanket. I hate when she’s like this, and I know it’s partially influenced by her goddamn best friend. I don’t know, man, I just always feel bothered every time this happens. I moved 300 miles away to get away from this shit, and yet here I am over six months later still getting pulled back into it. I asked my dad how much she had to drink. He said he didn’t know, that he was at work. He didn’t seem all too concerned with her, but maybe he’s just used to it or maybe it’s just his hallmark calm demeanor. I don’t know. Either way, she’s ridiculous and I hate when this happens. It’s like every time I build up some hope that things are getting better and she’s getting a grip on this, she goes and completely destroys it and sends me right back to cynical square one. I should honestly just stop trying to have faith in her at this point.

3) Food. My stomach’s been feeling kind of off today, probably because I binged on Oreos earlier. Either way, I’m in one of those weird moods where I’m kind of hungry when I should be but I don’t feel like eating whether it’s because I feel bloated or crampy or what. I don’t know, maybe I’m just having an off day. I woke up around 2pm and spent the entire day doing laundry which isn’t all too labor intensive but I still found myself tired out from it. I feel like I haven’t had a lot of energy lately, though. Or at least today and maybe yesterday. I go through these spells of feeling really pepped up and sharp-eyed, like I‘m finally getting out of my fog, but somehow I always seem to find my way back. Not that I mind my fog all that much. It feels kind of safe and hazy here. When I’m bright-eyed and fully awake, everything looks too sharp and feels too amplified and it can be daunting and kind of anxiety inducing. But then again, sometimes the fog isn’t a great thing. Tuesday I took allergy pills that warned for potential drowsiness but I didn’t think much of it until I was nearly falling asleep every five minutes in class and still couldn’t breathe. I feel like I‘m in a similar haze right now, exhausted but fighting to stay awake. I feel like if I go to sleep, though, I’m going to set my mind spiraling and food is one of those concerns. When I woke up, I had a decent little breakfast of cinnamon toast and a mandarin orange cup that satisfied me enough. The toast is usual but the mandarin orange cup was a treat. Then I set myself up for failure. I broke out the Oreos. I finished off the family size box. I’ve really taken a liking to Oreos lately but they’re not always the best on my stomach. They set off my IBS if I eat too many and that was partially the case today. Eventually I had to run to the bathroom but it wasn’t for a flare-up so much as for an urgency that was painlessly relieved. My stomach has felt kind of crampy all day since, though, but not necessarily IBS cramps nor even period cramps. It’s more of just a general ache. My boyfriend got off work at around midnight and said earlier he’d get us some food on the way home. I was a little hungry beforehand so I binged on cheese balls and a pack of fruit snacks which was fine but it wasn’t after this that I started to feel kind of bloated and overall just “ugh.” I didn’t really eat much of my dinner because of this, but I felt bad about it. I didn’t want him to know I wasn’t that hungry. I didn’t even know I wasn’t that hungry until the food was sitting in front of me expecting to be eaten. It was hotter than usual, too. Normally when we pick up food from this restaurant, it’s lukewarm by the time we get home but tonight, it was burning hot so I had to skirt around it for a moment lest I completely scorch my mouth. I might even go so far as to say it even tasted kind of weird tonight, too, but that might just be my anxiety talking. Either way, at this point I just feel bloated and sleepy and kind of weird and I just want to stay up all night until this feeling goes away so I don’t have to deal with the unending thoughts I’m no doubt going to get bombarded with when I do finally climb into bed. I don’t know, man. I guess it’s just one of those things I kind of have to wade through.

[gamenu]

VEN.

      the  praise  catches  him  off  guard.  ven  ducks  his  head  to  hide  the  bashful,  pleased  grin  that  splits  across  his  face,  his  stomach  coming  to  life  with  the  frenzied  wingbeats  of  a  dozen,  tiny  butterflies.  it  feels  even  better  to  have  his  progress  acknowledged  out  loud,  especially  after  so  many  months  of  struggling  to  find  the  light  at  the  end  of  the  long  and  arduous  tunnel  he’s  trapped  within.  even  if  it’s  only  a  small,  virtually  insignificant  step  in  the  grand  scheme  of  things,  it’s  a  start.  that  first  glimmer  of  light  is  finally  within  his  sight.

      he  thinks  (  hopes  )  that  things  have  been  better  on  nicole’s  end  lately,  too.  after  the  raw  reality  check  of  watching  her  collapse  with  exhaustion  as  a  result  of  his  own  selfishness,  ven  awoke  to  the  gut - wrenching  realisation  that  his  actions  —  no  matter  how  good  his  intentions  —  can  negatively  affect  those  around  him  if  left  unchecked  and  unregulated.  while  it  was  a  belated  realisation,  it  brought  about  a  change  for  the  better.  he’s  learned  to  communicate  more  effectively,  how  to  monitor  and  understand  his  own  limits,  how  to  care  for  the  limits  of  those  around  him.

      he  made  up  the  mind  the  moment  he  watched  his  friend  fall  to  the  ground,  unconscious  —  he  never  wants  to  see  nicole  like  that  ever  again.  not  over  his  selfish  mistakes.  she’s  been  kind  to  him.  patient,  yet  firm.  a  guiding  hand  when  he  felt  like  he  was  falling.  no  matter  how  long  it  takes,  ven  intends  to  repay  her  kindness  in  full.

      his  smile  only  grows  when  nicole  agrees  with  his  suggestion,  his  bashfulness  melting  into  pure  joy.  ❛  then  let’s  go!  ❜  ven  says,  reaching  out  to  take  her  hand  with  one  of  his  own,  tugging  gently,  insistently.  ❛  we  can  sit  by  the  fountains  once  we’ve  bought  some,  it’s  always  quiet  over  there!  ❜

        {/Nicole did not sing of empty praises. Ven earned every bit of it. Each day he could last a little longer, do a little more, and strike a little harder. He had to have noticed he was nowhere near as fatigued as when they first started training together. She herself, could last maybe a minute longer. Mental training takes a lot more effort, and trying to work through migraine after migraine was a pain. If anything, she’s improved her recovery time. Usually she’d take ages to wake up and fully have all her energy back. Now out of a desire to help Ven, she’s been getting up quicker. Sometimes forcing herself to move is the only way she gets better faster.

          Still, Nicole does still have her limits. And Ven has actually been quite adamant on checking on her and taking breaks when he sees she’s getting too tired to continue for the moment. She supposes fainting in front of him must have really scared him. And it was her fault, she should have been more assertive in her notion to needing to rest. The last thing this kid needs is more trauma and more on his plate, so to speak. Today though...she was handling it better. She was tired and had a bit of a migraine, but at least she was still standing and coherent, if not a little lethargic.

          His enthusiasm was infectious though. She found herself being tugged along, albeit gently, to go get this flavor of ice cream that Lea is apparently raving about. With a smile on her face, she followed behind him, doing her best to keep up.}

         “Okay! Sittin’ by tha fountains is always nice! I don’ think ol’ Merlin would mind fer a bit!” {/The Heartless threat has dwindled down since the Keyblade wielders have shown up. It’s not extinct, but it is a lot better. Nicole should be safe with Ven by her side.} “I be’ ya onna us is gonna ge’ onna them ‘winner’ sticks taday!”

[andyangus]

Saturday 30th January

3.30 a.m. (The latest I’ve been up in years!) I sat in Starbucks as nervous as a prostitute at confession while attempting to sip my caramel macchiato as indifferently as I could. The place was bustling with tourists who seem to have been unaffected by the global downturn as they continually dripped coins into the ravenous till. Ryan was half an hour late (traditional), so I managed to work my way from an uncomfortable wooden chair to a nice, soft and fluffy couch as people vacated. I sank into the well-ridden cushion with smug satisfaction and admired the view. Edinburgh Castle hadn’t lost her beauty.

I was feeling the effects of the caffeine and becoming quite sentimental when Ryan swept in with the energy of an excited teen. His long, hairy, green and brown overcoat swept open from the speed of his entrance. He recognised me immediately and waved, beaming a Hollywood smile that would outshine any showgirl. Sadly, Tony (a.k.a. ‘Biffo’, the derogatory name given to him justifiably by harsh queens on the scene) was in tow. I stopped slouching and tensed up my stomach in a vain attempt to engage my rarely used abs.

Ryan’s hardly changed. He has no grey flecks, unlike me, and seems to have been living in Tupperware for the past decade as there’s not a crease on any part of his well-presented façade. I’d go so far as to say he looks youthful. You’d hope, after losing a boyfriend, the stress of it all would mean you’d instantly burn all that unnecessary fat, but no, my body screams for comfort food, slowly topping up the levels like a barrel attached to a drainpipe.

Ryan yelped in excitement and hugged me like a long-lost brother. ‘Andy, you look amazing!’ he said and then paused expectantly for a compliment in return.

I shushed him bashfully and said, ‘No way, but you do.’

‘I know I do,’ said my confident friend.

I neglected to compliment Tony as I just can’t lie convincingly. He’s spray-tanned so much he’s on the verge of becoming a fat satsuma. However, as we were throwing hugs around, I was obligated to give him one too, but as half-hearted as I could possibly make it (hugging Biffo is akin to embracing a turd in a wig).

I immediately wanted to trade that hug for a slap the second Tony pulled back, gawped at my face and cried, ‘Goodness, life has been rough on you, my dear. Haven’t you collected a lot of wrinkles!’ and laughed as shrill as a mad banshee.

I countermanded by saying, ‘Wrinkles? No, they’re the trademark Angus laughter lines.’

Whereupon Tony sniggered and threw another verbal grenade, ‘Well, what a family of comedians you must be.’

Cue fixed grin and stunned silence on my part.

I visualised dropkicking him through that bay window until his mangled body was tangled in the castle’s craggy rocks, but I knew this wouldn’t be a great start to rekindling a relationship I’d let slide a long time ago. Even if one of the reasons I’d let it slip was still very much the monkey on Ryan’s back. A monkey that will be backbreaking to carry as Tony has gained several pounds and is struggling to fit into his Fat Face jeans. His thinning brown hair, jug-ears, snooty nose and jutting incisors certainly fit his insulting nickname Biffo the Bear. And his lips ... I don’t remember them being that big. Collagen injections, by the look of it.

‘Moving on,’ I said. ‘Coffee?’

‘Oh, not here, cupcake. I can’t abide coffee beans that have been raped by a multimillion tax-dodging company,’ said Ryan. ‘I hope nobody saw us come in, Tony. Well, nobody that counts. We know a delightful independent place on Broughton Street that you’ll adore. Cosy and they do the best tasting Americano this side of the country. I hope no one sees us leave, either.’ He turned to a busy server filling a large tray with sloppy cups and sticky plates and asked, ‘Is there a fire escape we can use?’

‘The owner can be a bit of a cow, though,’ interrupted Tony, tartly.

I was sold. Anyone who’s a cow to Tony is a friend of mine. A bit of a walk, but I figured my potbelly and bashed ego needed a stroll. ‘Let’s go then,’ I insisted.

‘Oh, hang on,’ said Ryan, whipping out his mobile. ‘A quick celebratory selfie. Stand over there away from the branding. I won’t be tagging our location.’ The boys struck a well-rehearsed pose as he snapped the picture before I’d the chance to focus. I was gawping, my eyes half shut and I noticed a coffee drip on my shirt. It was online quicker than the time it takes to drink one shot of espresso. We left via the fire exit.

******

Café Jamaica, a slither of a place that you’d miss if you weren’t looking for it, is green and black on the shop front with swirly yellow flower power style lettering above the door. Cavernous inside, it gets more extensive the deeper you delve, opening out to an ample space at the rear. On the far wall, beyond a decorative fireplace, sits an intimate stage flanked with purple felt curtains. An eclectic mix of local art hangs on the walls, from picturesque scenes of Edinburgh to the abstract brushstrokes of an aggressive mind. Rainbow coloured paper lanterns hang from the ceiling, softly lighting the chilled ambience, enhanced by grand ornate mirrors dotted around the area. The whole café has a feel of homely, lived-in chaos. Not a single table or chair match in colour or style. Nag champa snaked lethargically through the space and Nina Simone’s voice echoed from somewhere deep within the shadows. It felt reassuringly geek-friendly.

As I squished comfortably into a sofa, a tall, slender, middle-aged black woman with a tower of thickly piled hair emerged from the back of the café and made her way towards us as she flirtatiously dipped into the depths of her ample bosom to remove a small notepad and pen from its clutches. Her hourglass figure was tightly caressed by a green dress that groped her in all the right places and caused her breasts to spill forward like two large, shiny chestnuts. She oozed sexual confidence. Phenomenal. If it weren’t for her sincere smile and gentle Jamaican accent, I would’ve felt intimidated.

‘Ryan, you old hound. So good to see you, what can I get you?’ she grinned. ‘And I see you’ve brought a handsome young man with you,’ she said, nodding to me and ignoring Tony. I warmed to her more.

‘This is my good friend from the West, Andy,’ said Ryan, which melted my heart instantaneously as it became apparent all those years I’d neglected our friendship seemed to bother him not one jot.

‘Andy?’ She smiled wider, ‘Andy, who?’

‘Andy Angus,’ I added, hand stretched to shake hers.

‘Oh, Andy,’ she muttered as her eyes glinted in the lamplight and gazed deep into mine. Well-manicured scarlet nails flickered as she cupped my hand in both of hers and shook it intensely, ‘It’s so good to meet such a fine, handsome, mature man.’ She raised her head proudly and announced, ‘I’m Miss Molasses Brown, queen of this fabulous establishment, where all friends, freaks and lost souls are welcome to linger.’ It felt as if I’d known her for years, such was her warmth.

‘Drinks!’ she shouted, ‘Mojitos on the house, for my dear friends. Back in three shakes.’

‘We should take you out more often,’ said Tony, glaring at Molasses as she wiggled away, ‘the old hag has never given us so much as a free after-dinner mint.’

‘Oh! Selfie!’ said Ryan, mobile at the ready.

Goggle-eyed, I said, ‘Really? But we’ve only just taken one twenty min …’

Snap and post!

We sampled delicious home-cooked recipes that blew my mind, several non-alcoholic cocktails and Molasses’s very own Rum Truffle Cake. A sober evening for me, but a most enjoyable one. We talked about their wedding, and I brushed over my defunct relationship with Thomas briefly. I imagine Tony was keen to perform a detailed autopsy, but I preoccupied the evening with them. Ryan is a window dresser for Jenners and Tony works in a G.P. surgery as a receptionist. They still live at their old flat on Leith Street, but now, instead of renting, they own it. I got most of this information from a very animated Tony. Ryan was hardly given room to breathe, so I was relieved when an early start pulled Tony out of the door around midnight. Even if I had to witness repeated, heavy petting for the next ten minutes until Ryan loosened his leash and the door shut on his saggy arse.

I could relax for the first time all evening. With Biffo gone, we were free to chat over old times, when I lived just a stone’s throw away from Ryan on London Road. Life seemed more relaxed and less complicated. I had more of the pink pound in my pocket, and the scene was new, exciting and risky. He talked about some of the older queens still doing the rounds, the ones who’d since moved on (or worse, died), and the colourful new characters he’s met since I left.

Then he asked, ‘Do you ever think of Steve?’

My heart suddenly ached. I shared the flat on London Road with Steve. He was older than us, experienced, wealthy, butch and bitchy, cheeky and damn handsome. He’d say, ‘When you hit forty, boys, there is a certain clientele that finds you fascinating. Twinks don’t turn my head, but I seem to turn theirs, and if the chap is on the right side of his twenties, then I’m willing to entertain the notion for nothing more than a night. Anything more than that is some form of relationship, and that is definitely not my china cup of tea. What would I want with a twink, anyway? They haven’t lived. They use moisturiser, for fuck’s sake, bathe in aftershave and have no idea how to fix a stop-cock. I just want a real man to rodger and take the bin bag out in the morning, is that asking for the world?’ Riotous laughter would follow, and others would turn their heads towards our usual corner of the bar. We must’ve looked like witches around a cauldron, but we were having a blast.

How could Ryan dare to bring him up? Steve was taboo. Our gang fell to pieces after he died – forty-four and cold on a slab looking a shadow of his former self. His good looks eaten away. Such a jovial, glorious mind ruined by something that could’ve been, should’ve been, treated sooner.

I hesitated some and said, ‘I think of him every day. I still blame myself; after all these years, I still do. I knew he wasn’t right. Six weeks later, he was gone. No more Friday night drinks that turned into Saturday morning breakfasts. Gone was that shameless smile, those playful moves on the dance floor and that gorgeous set of blue eyes that excused him no matter how bitchy he became.’

Ryan nodded, ‘He could charm the Crown Jewels off the Queen.’

That rock that we had clung to was now far away in the middle of a foreboding sea that could never be crossed. At least, not in this lifetime. This marked the beginning of our separation. We met through Steve, and we only knew how to function around Steve. So we clung to new rocks as quickly as we could and lost sight of each other behind the solidity of what we’d found. His funeral came fast and left us with little time to think. And before we knew it, we were toasting the man and, with a tear in our eyes and dregs in our glasses, it was time to move on. And boy, move on we did. Swiftly. Ryan to Tony, and me to Thomas. But even tonight, after all that water has flown under all those bridges, the events leading up to why we lost touch hurt.

‘Not your fault,’ consoled Ryan with a hand clasping mine. ‘Hell, I would’ve told him to shut up with his moaning, but then, I’ve never had much patience with the sick.’

‘I remember,’ I jibed. ‘When I snapped a tendon falling off the stage at Vibe, you quickly asked me to leave as I was embarrassing you. I limped towards the exit, and you continued to dance as if nothing was wrong.’

‘Oh, dear. Did I? I’m sorry about that. I must’ve been on something.’

I laughed. ‘You were on everything back then!’

Ryan chuckled, ‘Yes, I suppose you’re right. I don’t nowadays. Too old to deal with the comedowns. And who wants to have the teeth of a medieval pauper? I miss him,’ he said with his smile gone and his eyes glistening, ‘and I miss you too.’

It felt so good to be wanted again. Wanted by him. I squeezed his hand tight and told him what I should’ve told him a long time ago, ‘I miss you too. I’ve always missed you.’ It was good to feel as if someone cared once again. I didn’t want to lose that moment. God, I really have missed him. How could I have been so stupid?

‘Are the two of you hypnotised or something?’ came a familiar Jamaican accent. ‘Anyone would think you kids were in love.’

This snapped us out of our bubble.

‘Don’t be daft,’ I spluttered between breathy laughs.

As the doors to Café Jamaica were locked behind us, we wandered along the cobbles reflecting the streetlights’ pale yellow glow. Arriving at my car, we said a reluctant farewell. Ryan hugged me tightly. It was great to be close to his beating heart once more.

‘It’s fabulous to have you back in my life, my friend,’ were his parting words.

As I drove along Gorgie Road, I realised I’d finally found an old piece of me that has been forgotten, buried beneath the chaff of domesticity for far too long. Maybe, just maybe, it is possible to go back in time and start over.

The twenty-five-year-old Andy inside me had woken. He yawned and blinked at the moon as it hung large and low before me on the drive to Mum and Dad’s. I could see the silhouette of Edinburgh’s skyline in my rearview mirror, and even though I was heading in the opposite direction, Ryan, Steve and my twenty-five-year-old self were travelling alongside me and having a whale of a time.

4.35 p.m. It’s Dad’s retirement do tonight, and I’m feeling more than a little tired from my late night.

[lifewithoutmeds]

November 1st

so productive these days.

let’s see, i left off on saturday night, when lanz and sov and the baby came over and we chatted and looked at the baby and played some puzzle fighter and then they left.

sunday i had my coffee and eggs and ... hmm, what else did i do.  maybe cleaned?  not sure, but then gk came over and we chatted and i came out to her and then we headed out to west hollywood where we met up with tina and we had brunch at Eveleigh or something, some really cute place with some pretty whatevs food but such a cute place.  we chatted some and i ended up coming out to tina too.  both were supportive.  then we killed some time, walked around, went to the abbey for two minutes before being overwhelmed and leaving, got some ice cream, and just sat around waiting for sj to be done with whatever, then tina left and we met up with sj and then we wandered over to thai town where we killed some time watching the dodgers game at Thai Patio before meeting their food industry friends at Ruen Pair across the parking lot.  it was, i dunno, fine.  the car situation was weird so i had felt compelled to drive them around and wait but it was a lot of time killing and just .... without drinking, those hours are harder to fill.  oh i forgot to mention!  gk is preggos!  apparently got knocked up on the honeymoon so she’s four months pregnant which is cray.

so that ended up taking pretty much damn all night and i missed church and likely came home around 9 or 10.

monday .... 

monday went to work, then had dumplings with kelly afterward.  not sure what else i did.

tuesday was halloween and i hid from potential trick or treaters by leaving the house and going on a long walk running errands, first to the galleria to return this ugly sweater and buy some weird pants, and then to CVS to pick up some prescriptions, then to trader joe’s to buy some eggs.  i ended up walking 30,000 steps that day, which killed the competition in the step challenge.  then i showered and played some puzzle fighter and no one came to trick or treat yay.

today is wednesday and i was productive at work, walked during my lunch, and immediately after work went to wash my car at the semi-local coin op car wash in eagle rock where i spent some time vacuuming the interior and throwing out the trash and all that.  then i went home, walked to trader joe’s, bought some stuff for spring rolls, came home, made and ate said spring rolls, then set up the eufy to start vacuuming whilst washing the dishes, tidying up, throwing out junk mail, and putting in a load of laundry.  there are currently two loads in the dryer (sans dryer sheets boo) and i am waiting to fold it all up.  productive!

tomorrow i have a short meeting in the morning with an agent regarding some AABs stuff and then there’s a going away luncheon to celebrate the movement/promotions of 3 of the PI crew.  that’ll likely take a couple hours and so the day will go by quickly and i will have thursday afternoon to pack up and ready myself for Sedona, for which i’ll be heading down to torrance friday morning and heading eastward before noon.

i’m sort of wondering what’s come over me lately, this impulse to clean, it’s like nesting almost.  but ... i wonder for what, or for whom?  it just seems like it’s important now, to be clean, to be presentable, and even though it takes so much more time and energy, as long as i don’t watch hours of Bojack Horseman and play puzzle fighter for days on end, i have plenty of time to do all the cleaning i desire.

and now that i don’t drink myself into a sad stupor at night, i have the wherewithal to try and improve my surroundings.

this month of not drinking has been rather illuminating.  i’m probably losing some belly fat, some weight, and i feel more clarity and less brain fog and general heaviness than my usual.  i feel lighter on my feet, but maybe that’s because i’ve lost 15 pounds.  i just feel better in general.  i feel like i am less lethargic and more energetic and less sulky.  and i know it’s not just the lack of alcohol, but it’s everything.  it’s the food choices and the exercise and the coming out and the being inspired by this lovely muse.  this has been quite a nice run and i’m almost afraid of november 17th when i’ll resume drinking and celebrate it with a largish bash at my place followed by bowling.  i’ll somehow need to keep this in check.  but i’m in a good place now.  not napping, not drinking three cups of coffee a day, just being bright and alert and focused.  these are good things.  this is progress.

[nathangarblg]

Fast, Easy, Simple, Nutritious Foods To Your World.

Developing good nutritional habits can be a continuous process. Each day we face a variety of choices regarding what to consume. Nutrition will be the execise of developing knowledge about food and making informed decisions. It is not necessarily approximately what to eat, but additionally timing meals in ways that they affect your whole body in positive ways. The greater number of you know, the more effective and a lot more satisfying your strategy is going to be. Keep reading for some practical advice.

Avoid trans fats and fructose corn syrup. Not only are they harmful to you overall, but avoiding them will also enable you to avoid a lot of the other foods that happen to be damaging to your diet. Cutting these through your diet means you will have to world health day be more aware and selective of your food consumption, but you’ll be healthier overall for this.

Are you aware that you can fight fatigue that may be experienced after eating? You are able to snap out from the tiredness you really feel after lunch by drinking a tall glass water and eating a tiny high-antioxidant food say for example a prune. This helps revitalize your lethargic feeling and help fire the mind.

You must include foods that have sufficient amounts of b vitamin in your daily diet. The vitamin b complex complex has 11 components, and together, they give a multitude of benefits. They may lower the danger of coronary disease and improve your energy level. They are essential to your mental health, providing relief from stress, forgetfulness, and depression.

To get a lean body, try skipping the sweet tea and drink green leaf tea instead. Green leaf tea has been shown to enhance your metabolic process protect against many forms of cancer. Additionally, it may reduce your cholesterol levels. Don’t drink green tea leaf coming from a box, though. Brew it yourself by using a tea bag or use loose leaves.

Broccoli is a big star inside the nutrition “show.” It is actually full of betacarotene, lutein and lycopene. Research indicates these nutrients to be useful for preventing cancer. They assist liver function. Eat broccoli every single day along with your health will certainly benefit. You won’t have to buy supplements to offer these nutrients by eating broccoli consistently.

Moderate your alcohol intake. Sugary calories, which are abundant in alcoholic drinks, are easily converted to fat stored in the body. Also, if you find alcohol within your body, it causes your liver to operate overtime to process it and burn off fat. Excess alcohol intake can cause many threatening medical conditions.

Cat food nutrition is apparently an ongoing concern for dog owners. The best way to make certain, that your particular kitty is getting what she or he needs for any proper diet, is usually to ask the vet. Learn what percentage you cat needs from each dietary category. This will assist you to be considered a better judge of your kitty’s food consumption.

Don’t be sucked in by expensive “super-foods”! Normal meals are all right for nutrients. Make healthful choices in fresh fruits and veggies, lean meats and fish, legumes, beans and nuts and whole grain breads and cereals at your local market. Work with a water purifying pitcher to offer you a lot of pure water economically. Avoid junk, and eat normal, healthful food in abundance for optimum health.

Cholesterol is one of the most damaging things that one could put in your system. Attempt to eliminate cholesterol through your diet, not just in enhance your heart flow but in addition to improve your mood during the course of the day. Lowering cholesterol reduces toxins in your body, which could play a huge role in weight loss.

Even though it is true that carbs transform into sugar, it is actually not a good idea to slice them from your diet as a whole. Your system needs these extra sugars to create energy, so having not enough carbs would lead to a lowering of your current energy level.

Skipping breakfast is detrimental to your successful diet program. Lots of people mistakenly believe that skipping a meal will help with weight loss. In fact not eating meals, especially breakfast, actually puts you at a greater risk for overeating all of those other day. This could cause anyone to eat more food than if you ate breakfast.

Sweet potatoes can be a terrific addition to the diet program. Their sweet, somewhat bland, starchy nature means they are readily accessible to practically anyone, and the wide range of bright colors one can choose from naturally ensures they are appealing to children. They’re loaded with Vitamin A, C, and B6 as well as a host of minerals. They make an excellent alternative to pasta or rice like a starch.

Practicing good nutrition will not be an exact science. Human nature dictates that you just won’t have the ability to make perfect choices about food one hundred precent of the time. Throwing a curve ball in your nutrition plan will assist you to suprise your system and boost your metabolism. Achieve success 95% of times and you may reach your goals without compromising your sanity. And put into practice everything we preach in this article.

Source: http://atkinsclassic.com/nutrition-techniques-for-success/

from Mack Butler Atkins Charity Classic https://mackbutleratkinscharityclassic.wordpress.com/2017/04/13/nutrition-techniques-for-success/

[bellatrixobsessed1]

I’ll Meet You At The Bottom (Part 7)

Sokka awoke with an aching back. There was nothing quite as unpleasant as sleeping on the floor, but he didn’t want to leave Azula alone, he had to make sure that the woman didn’t hurt herself.  For the most part, she had lie quietly—save for a few sobs—upon the bed. Something eventually provoked her though. Enough to get her to abruptly spring from her bed and start throwing punches. Sokka didn’t make a move to stop her until she started beating her fists against the wall. He felt it unwise to actually grab hold of her arms; not wanting to actually fight the woman coupled with a contradictory fear that he’d snap her wrists if he held too tight, kept him from doing so. Instead he held his hand level with the spot she was punching, by the time Azula’s rage subsided his knuckles were raw and bore traces of blood. As a painful tingling danced about the back of his hand, he watched her walk lopsidedly back to her bed, breathing heavily.

She never did fall asleep.

Neither did he.

So when she finally looked at him with clear eyes and with a mind that processed he truly was there—and had been the whole time, he didn’t know what to tell her. He knew he’d seen something she didn’t want him too, and by the vicious gaze she was cutting him, it was abundantly clear that he was to keep quiet.

  “Good morning.” Sokka tried.

 “I told you not to come back here.” Her voice was dangerously low.

 “Sorry, I just wanted to make sure that you were okay.” He replied lamely.

 “I’m fine.” Azula grumbled.

 “Fine? You were yelling at the corner of the room.” He pointed out.

 “Don’t you have some where to be?” Azula asked

 He held up his hand, “you almost did this,” he pointed to his bruised knuckles. “To yourself.”

 “I’m sure you’d much rather be elsewhere.”

  “You’re on drugs.” Sokka persisted more bluntly.

 Azula changed directions again. “Don’t you have a painting to work on?”

 “Don’t you realize how serious this is?” He asked, growing increasingly more frustrated.

 “You seemed pretty eager to tell me about it a few days ago.” Azula diverted. “So talk. Tell me about your stupid painting.”

 “We can talk about that again after we talk about more important problems.” Sokka replied.

 “Like how you’re still standing in my room, talking to me like I’m a child.” Azula retaliated. “You look like hell, by the way.”

 He had to admit that she was as good at dodging subjects as she was at dodging attacks when they battled. So good, in fact, that he almost took the bait and replied, “if I look like hell, then what do you look like?” He held his tongue, the last thing he wanted to do was make her feel worse than she probably already did. Even less so, did he want to push her away for good. So instead he backtracked again, “You’re in a lot of trouble and I want to help—”

 She cut him off. “Your friends are probably looking for you.”

 Sokka pinched the bridge of his nose, it would seem that he’d have to change his line of attack. “They might be.” He agreed. “So why don’t you come downstairs and join me for breakfast?” He already knew the answer.

 Fixing him a hard stare, Azula sat back down and crossed her arms over her chest. “I have no more plans to interact with you nor your barbaric friends.”

 Finally, Sokka’s annoyance reached its peak. Clearly he was getting nowhere with her, she didn’t seem to want the help anyhow. She had a lot of insults to throw and no gratitude to give. “Me and my friends are barbaric? You’ve been wearing the same thing for days now, and you said I liked like hell? Ya know what? Fine, don’t come with me! If you want to be alone, then be alone.” He turned his back to her made a point of not looking over his shoulder as he walked, knowing that if he did those tired and solemn eyes would coax him back. If he looked back he would see her tousled persona and tiny frame in the doorway growing smaller and smaller still as he put distance between him. And if he looked back, he would have caught the glimmer of regret in her eyes and the way she seemed to shrink back into her room. Even without the visual he regretted the ruthlessness of his words, knowing that he’d probably struck a few raw points.

 Instead he focused on what he would say if any of his friends asked him where he had disappeared to and what happened to his hand.

 .oOo.

 Azula knew that she had a habit of lashing out when angry or afraid. It was a newly acquired habit that seemed to have come with, or have been heightened by her abuses. She longed to go back to the time when she could just shut down altogether and display no emotion. It was easier. Easier and safer. She made a mistake in letting the Water Tribe man in, his angry departure only left her feeling worse than she would have if she didn’t take the risk at all. She truly had wanted to let him in, but not that far. He entered too fast and for it, saw too much too soon.

 A new and horrible fear taunted Azula’s mind. What if he shared what he had seen? She would have to hold off on taking another dose, but Agni she needed one right now. She needed it so desperately as the scene from that morning played itself back in her mind. She couldn’t help but feel that he was right, she looked as dreadful as she felt. This haircut was less flattering than the first time she’d sliced her hair up and only served to annunciate how sullen and empty her face had become. She smelled heavily of tobacco and could very well use another shower. Her wrinkled clothing reminded her of just how lazy she’d grown…how useless. And the more she thought about it, the less energy she seemed to have to fix it. Each insult that she delivered to herself—amplified by Sokka’s potent reminder—drained more and more motivation from her. She was lethargic in the to begin with. The Ruby Tears always seemed to leave her feeling that way, especially if she took the cactus juice with it.

She needed something to make the truth go away.

To make everything go away.

 Azula clutched her left wrist with a bruising force. She could feel the rough patches of scars, they offered their own methods as to how to make everything stop. Their suggestions were quite strong, she needed something to quiet them before…

She gripped her hand tighter.

 Azula moved her hand to her head, trying to dull the pounding behind her eyes. The pain of it clouded her vision some. Weak and trembling legs, barely held her up right. She didn’t quite make it to her bed before collapsing against it. The beating in her brain doubled. Had she hit herself? A burst of warmth was spreading at her temple. She tried to put two and two together but she was sleepy.

So sleepy.

 .oOo.

 “Are you okay Sokka? You’ve been acting moody all morning.” Aang asked.

 “Yeah you’re giving Madame Fussy Britches and Sir Knicker Knots some really good competition.” Toph pointed to Katara and Zuko.

 “Sorry.” Sokka apologized. “I guess I’m just having another rough day.” He had no intention of elaborating. He should have been more patient with Azula. Of course, she was going to have a collection of off-handed remarks at the ready. She was hurt and afraid and he was pushing her. For all he know, it could have been the drugs talking. And even if she that wasn’t the case, she was still Azula. The same princess who had something sassy and witty to say.

And he had kicked her when she was done. He tried to take a bite of his arctic hen but the whole ordeal had left a sour taste in his mouth that was keeping him from enjoying it. If Suki were around she would know how to handle it.  He took a seat, but didn’t bother with anymore of the food set before him. He had no appetite for it, especially now that the Kyoshi warrior was back in his thoughts.

 His stomach lolled. He remembered the last thing Suki had said to him before leaving him; “you know what Sokka, you’re an ass!” He felt sick. “If you can’t treat a lady with respect than you deserve to be alone. I don’t even know why I tried, you made a horrible first impression.”

 Tears prickled behind his eyes, the same tears he promised not to shed again. Apparently, he still couldn’t treat a lady with respect.

 .oOo.

 When one has nowhere to be and nothing of importance to do, time seems to just drift away. In that aspect it was very easy for Azula to slip into another one of her drunken dazes. She had scarcely crashed from the Ruby Tears and she was already lifting herself up again. Unlike the Tears, the cactus juice left her feeling quite marvelous. She had a burst of energy that her body couldn’t support.

 Her latest task was to practice some firebending again. She dropped into a very basic stance, the one she always did when warming up. Her weight was shifted mostly upon her right foot so when she shifted into the next motion her body shook. She pushed forward anyhow, swaying a little more with each movement. She began lifting her arms; this stance in particular required symmetry—arms raising fluidly at the same time. Though she would have argued that, that was exactly what she had accomplished, Azula’s right arm was fully erect many seconds before her left. She offered a clumsy kick and an explosion of flames. With that blast she was on her back, wondering what had went wrong. She got to her feet, took another drink, and started over. Her stance twice as unbalanced as the first. Yet, that didn’t hinder her in pumping her arms back and forth, spitting out tiny and pathetic balls of fire.

But in her own mind she was doing very good.

In her own mind she had all the esteem and elegance she had once been praised for.

 .oOo.

 Sokka stood in front of her door. He’d been standing there for some twenty minutes trying to decide if it was wroth it or if he should go back to his room, tear up his painting, and start one with a more promising subject. He was determined to prove Suki wrong, determined to show her that he had respect. So with all of the courage Suki usually instilled in him, he give Azula’s door three sturdy knocks. She probably wouldn’t answer anyhow. He gave the woman a few moments before backing away, a very premature motion. The door was yanked open with a violent force.

 “Oh, good you’re back. Wonderful.” Azula smiled. “I wasjust bending my practicing.” She slurred. “Maybe you can do me a favor and stand realniceandstill.”

 Looking at the princess’ face again he wondered when the last time it was that anyone had treated her with respect. Her hair was plastered to her face by a sheen of sweat, there was a vicious gleam in her unfocused eyes, she was practically sliding down the doorframe she was leaning against, and her robe was slipping from her shoulders. He was frustrated to see that she had changed back into it instead of something clean. Regardless, he made a move to push it back up but she slapped the back of his hand. From what he gathered it had been a very long time since anyone had shown her respect.  Despite her less than elegant words and appearance, he was going to try.

 He should have been clearer about his intentions. “Can I fix your robe?” He offered.

 “C-can can you fuckoff?” She asked, dipping more heavily into the door. Her robed fell down more, prompting him to avert his gaze.

 “Can you fix your robe?” He tried, as he locked eyes with her.

 “Does it bother you?” She questioned. He only had time to open his mouth before she spoke again, “‘cause if it does I have some’in that’ll really drive youinsane.” He only had time to shut it once more before the princess tore her robe completely open. He was relived to find that she still, at the very least, had those baggy sweatpants on.

 No less, the sound of voices coming nearer instilled within Sokka, a new sense of urgency. The last thing Azula needed was to give the palace more rumors to be abuzz with. “Can we do this inside your room, in privet?”

 Azula snorted and gave a laugh that lacked all poise and regalness. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you Sokka?” She sauntered closer to him, pressing her chest up against his. He took that as his opportunity to pull her robe closed and bind it tighter.

 Placing a firm grip on her shoulders he replied, “I’d like to make sure you don’t hurt…or embarrass yourself.” He felt terribly conflicted in forcing her back into her room and closing the door, knowing how it would have looked had the owners of the voices turned the corner as he did so. Even if that wasn’t an issue it felt wrong, like he was cornering her. It felt so terribly predatory. He looked longingly at the door. Suki would be all over him for how he was handling things.

 Azula’s robe had come undone again. Having been so lost in thought he wasn’t sure if she’d done it herself or if it had fallen that way. He peered down at her and she stiffened. He noticed for the first time that her head was bleeding. It would seem that he was the only one of the two who did realize it.

 She propped herself up on her arms and thrust her chest up. “Well come here then.” She smirked.

 Sokka’s stomach was growing queasy, all at once he began to loathe the woman on the bed for putting him in such an unbearably uncomfortable situation. He held his ground, back rigid, and face as undaunted as he could manage.

 She crawled towards the edge of the bed, clawing at the bedsheets with more force than necessary. When she reached the very edge she growled, “come on Sokka, don’t youwanna u-use me like ev’ryone else?”  She let body fall back onto the mattress and ran her hand over her chest. He assumed that it was meant to be sensual.

 “Not at all.” Sokka replied, his stomach knotting much tighter than ever.

 She botled up right, her expression changing alarmingly fast. “You you mean I’m not good enough foryou? Oh right. Forgot. I look like hell.” Her laugh had a pitch that sent chills down his spine.

 “That’s not it.” Sokka sputtered quickly. “I mean that I don’t think you really want me to do…” he paused, “to do that.” He was going to throw up, no one has ever put him in such a situation and he didn’t know how to handle it. Without having done anything at all, he still felt like he was somehow taking advantage of her. So he walked into her closet and found something that looked both cozy and elegant, but also easy to put on. It was blue in color with embroidery resembling the lightning he’d seen her use so often, it would clash with the pants she was wearing but he’d never seen her wear blue. That and, of all of the sleep shirts he’d looked at, that one looked the easiest to put on. He removed it from the hanger and came back by Azula. The firebender sat with her head drooping from one side to the other.  He held her as still as he could manage and pulled the shirt over her arms. He carefully buttoned it up and backed away.

 The princess looked like she was about to weep. He tensed up again, fearing that he had overstepped his boundaries. “What’s wrong with me?” She asked. The lump in his throat doubled in size, if he didn’t choke on it, then surly he’d be choking on his words.

Not that he had any words.

 “You haven’t had many people to care for you.” He replied, trying—for the time being—to take responsibility off of her. “That can damage a person.” He couldn’t tell if he was still talking about her, or if he had begun speaking of himself. “Can I care for you?”

 “Can you?” she returned the question.

  With cautious fingers, he brushed her bangs aside. Azula flinched and he drew back. He backtracked, “what happened?”

 Azula raised her fingers to the bleeding bump on her temple. “I-I don’t r’member.” Her eyes dimmed even more.

 “Okay.” Sokka replied. “That’s okay.”

 “No, nod okay.” Azula replied.

 As much as it hurt to hear, it relived him to hear that she was regaining some degree of self-awareness. “Can I clean it for you?” He offered.

 Azula nodded.

 He scanned the room for a glass of water or anything of the sort. Finding none, he told her that he would be right back. He was reluctant to leave her alone, but stepped out of the room anyhow. To his gratitude, she was still in remotely the same position as when he’d left. In that short time, she had taken to laying down.

 He moved her bangs again, causing another start. He decided then, that it was best to be very clear about his intentions. “I’m going to dab it a little,” he informed before bringing the wet cloth to her head. “Do you want to tell me what’s wrong. At least a little of what’s wrong?” He asked as he worked.

 It would seem that the cactus juice loosened her tongue more than he anticipated. “I’malone. ‘M always alone. I have no control over anything. I-I can’t stop myself. I can’t stop.” Her speech was growing less connected with each point she tried to deliver. “I’m useless. Always was. ‘Rything I’ve ever done was pointless. I’m pointless…” she was listing so many things and with such a slur that Sokka was having trouble latching onto any one topic. So instead he just listened to her try to disjointed cry for help. He finished cleansing the cut and began dressing it. “Nothin has been a same since Sozin…” another indistinguishable jumble of words. “Sozin’s comet and after that things have been awful. I haven’t been right.” She pointed at her head, naturally at the spot he was trying to tend to. “Stupid. I’m soso…”

 Sokka finished re-applying the bandage she’d moved and nodded, he was pretty certain that he’d got the meaning well enough. He helped her back into a laying position. He hoped that she would acknowledge what she was confessing after she sobered up. Though that would take giving up some pride and she never seemed like the type to trade pride for comfort. “I haven’t been right either.” He didn’t mean to, but he took her hand anyhow. “Not since Suki died.”

*****

Basic summery of the first part of this chapter to the last part;

[mackbulacc-blog]

Nutrition Techniques For Success!

Fast, Easy, Simple, Nutritious Foods To Your World.

Developing good nutritional habits can be a continuous process. Each day we face a variety of choices regarding what to consume. Nutrition will be the execise of developing knowledge about food and making informed decisions. It is not necessarily approximately what to eat, but additionally timing meals in ways that they affect your whole body in positive ways. The greater number of you know, the more effective and a lot more satisfying your strategy is going to be. Keep reading for some practical advice.

Avoid trans fats and fructose corn syrup. Not only are they harmful to you overall, but avoiding them will also enable you to avoid a lot of the other foods that happen to be damaging to your diet. Cutting these through your diet means you will have to world health day be more aware and selective of your food consumption, but you’ll be healthier overall for this.

Are you aware that you can fight fatigue that may be experienced after eating? You are able to snap out from the tiredness you really feel after lunch by drinking a tall glass water and eating a tiny high-antioxidant food say for example a prune. This helps revitalize your lethargic feeling and help fire the mind.

You must include foods that have sufficient amounts of b vitamin in your daily diet. The vitamin b complex complex has 11 components, and together, they give a multitude of benefits. They may lower the danger of coronary disease and improve your energy level. They are essential to your mental health, providing relief from stress, forgetfulness, and depression.

To get a lean body, try skipping the sweet tea and drink green leaf tea instead. Green leaf tea has been shown to enhance your metabolic process protect against many forms of cancer. Additionally, it may reduce your cholesterol levels. Don’t drink green tea leaf coming from a box, though. Brew it yourself by using a tea bag or use loose leaves.

Broccoli is a big star inside the nutrition “show.” It is actually full of betacarotene, lutein and lycopene. Research indicates these nutrients to be useful for preventing cancer. They assist liver function. Eat broccoli every single day along with your health will certainly benefit. You won’t have to buy supplements to offer these nutrients by eating broccoli consistently.

Moderate your alcohol intake. Sugary calories, which are abundant in alcoholic drinks, are easily converted to fat stored in the body. Also, if you find alcohol within your body, it causes your liver to operate overtime to process it and burn off fat. Excess alcohol intake can cause many threatening medical conditions.

Cat food nutrition is apparently an ongoing concern for dog owners. The best way to make certain, that your particular kitty is getting what she or he needs for any proper diet, is usually to ask the vet. Learn what percentage you cat needs from each dietary category. This will assist you to be considered a better judge of your kitty’s food consumption.

Don’t be sucked in by expensive “super-foods”! Normal meals are all right for nutrients. Make healthful choices in fresh fruits and veggies, lean meats and fish, legumes, beans and nuts and whole grain breads and cereals at your local market. Work with a water purifying pitcher to offer you a lot of pure water economically. Avoid junk, and eat normal, healthful food in abundance for optimum health.

Cholesterol is one of the most damaging things that one could put in your system. Attempt to eliminate cholesterol through your diet, not just in enhance your heart flow but in addition to improve your mood during the course of the day. Lowering cholesterol reduces toxins in your body, which could play a huge role in weight loss.

Even though it is true that carbs transform into sugar, it is actually not a good idea to slice them from your diet as a whole. Your system needs these extra sugars to create energy, so having not enough carbs would lead to a lowering of your current energy level.

Skipping breakfast is detrimental to your successful diet program. Lots of people mistakenly believe that skipping a meal will help with weight loss. In fact not eating meals, especially breakfast, actually puts you at a greater risk for overeating all of those other day. This could cause anyone to eat more food than if you ate breakfast.

Sweet potatoes can be a terrific addition to the diet program. Their sweet, somewhat bland, starchy nature means they are readily accessible to practically anyone, and the wide range of bright colors one can choose from naturally ensures they are appealing to children. They’re loaded with Vitamin A, C, and B6 as well as a host of minerals. They make an excellent alternative to pasta or rice like a starch.

Practicing good nutrition will not be an exact science. Human nature dictates that you just won’t have the ability to make perfect choices about food one hundred precent of the time. Throwing a curve ball in your nutrition plan will assist you to suprise your system and boost your metabolism. Achieve success 95% of times and you may reach your goals without compromising your sanity. And put into practice everything we preach in this article.

Source : http://atkinsclassic.com/nutrition-techniques-for-success/