#she’s alone. she’s completely alone all because of this quest for revenge

[vm-haunts]

Butterfly Effect

The GIW got new funding and new crew, Fenton Works went up in flames, so did Vlad's castle. Danny is captured, Dani melted, Jack and Maddie died in the explosion that took out their lab.

Team Phantom is in deep trouble. Down to four human members, they're truly on their own in their quest to save Danny.

Not all hope are lost though, there's always good news between bad ones.

...

Good News: Jack Maddie and Vlad don't completely suck in this one.

Bad News: Jack and Maddie died and turned into ghosts.

Good News: Vlad finally get a true hero moment and brought the two with him when he fled into the zone before he blew his own portal.

Bad News: They're immediately arrested for their crimes against ghost kind for the foreseeable future. Wait isn't this good news actually.

Good News: no more ghost attacks because both portals are down.

Bad News: no more ghost help or easy ecto source either. But that's worth it as a trade off for the attacks.

...

Good News: Ellie didn't melt completely, only her human side did. She's souped (literally) inside a thermos for now.

Bad News: she lost her physically form, and they either need to find her a fresh and compatible corpse or clone her a second body.

Good News: all of them agreed on the second choice.

Bad news: they now have to find a way to make a clone

...

Good News: Team Phantom found a another group that is strongly interested in taking down the GIW research facilities.

Bad News: the potential ally turned out to be a cult of assassins.

Good News: the lady leading them is looking for her son and offered help.

Bad News: she's now very interested in what they know about ectoplasm.

Good News: they get Danny out!

Bad News: the assassin lady won't leave them alone. Team Phantom might have to join a cult now.

Good News: at least they get to hang out with the lady's son sometimes. He's pretty chill.

Bad News: chill guy get dunked into mystery goo by his mom, is now Dan no.2 and wants revenge on his dad.

Good News: at least Dan#2 is still negotiable as long as no one gets in the way of his obsession.

Bad News: Team Phantom is now the enabler of a rising crime lord. Hell of a first impression to make with Batman...

Good News: at least they're out of the League now, that's good right???

[kamaluhkhan]

COMPLICATED

LUST — part iv of we'll write sins not tragedies

pairing: luke castellan x nemesis! reader (afab) word count: 8.9k summary: the lives of demigods are never simple. why would your relationship with luke be any different? or: four moments of tension + one moment of release. featuring a trip to montauk with percy, grover, and annabeth warnings: a decent amount of reader backstory (mention of dad having cancer); multiple POVs (percy, grover, annabeth, luke, reader - obv nothing suggestive/smutty until luke and reader POV); luke + reader get into arguments and are v stressed so their relationship is a bit strained; reader has tattoos; reader is on birth control; rough smut (protected + unprotected p in v, oral f+m receiving, biting, scratching, slight choking, slight breeding kink, etc...); also slight dark + possessive luke! (18 + MDNI); major angst — we all know how this story ends ;( author's note: this was meant to be a blurb but...here we are! this is basically another chapter of my spill ur guts series lol. i've been gone for much longer than i planned to, but hope u enjoy possibly the angstiest, smuttiest thing i've written so far ♡

♪ "complicated" by avril lavigne

i. 

in the span of a few minutes, percy went from pure joy — being greeted with cheers from all the campers was great, sure, but truthfully the hug from annabeth alone sent him to elysium — to feeling like his heart dropped all the way to tartarus.

which is definitely not a place percy ever wants to visit again. he was happy to be back at camp with his friends, knowing that his quest was completed, his mom was safe in new york, and a war between the gods was prevented.

it should be over….but there’s something in the back of percy’s mind that’s telling him it isn’t. seeing a certain someone in the crowd earlier didn’t do anything to ease that feeling.

"can someone explain to me why clarisse is still here?" 

you raise an eyebrow at luke, and he shrugs in response.  it seems neither of you had decided who should break the news, and neither of you seem particularly excited to do so, even after dragging percy, along with annabeth and grover, into the empty hermes cabin for some privacy.

after another beat of silence, you take the lead.

“look, kid, i know you and clarisse got off to a rocky start —”

“she tried to drown me, and then basically kill me during capture the flag,” percy points out. he hears an ocean roaring at the memory, but that could have also been from his duel with clarisse’s dad, the god of war, more recently.

a duel that percy had won, for the record. luke trained him well.

“and i’m not defending that,” you clarify. “i’m just saying that we’ve known clarisse for much longer. she’s not perfect, maybe a bit aggressive sometimes — trust me, she and i have had some major disagreements, too — but i can’t see her doing something like this.”

“why would anyone at camp want to steal the bolt? to join kronos’ army against the gods?” annabeth wonders. to herself or to the group, percy isn’t sure, but he has a feeling that the wheels in her mind are turning.

“revenge, maybe?” grover suggests. 

almost instinctively, grover glances at you, and so does annabeth. percy wants to kick himself for doing the same. 

with you being the daughter of nemesis, he imagines that it's not the first time you’d been blamed for something just because of who you are. it’s a feeling percy knows all too well. and, for better or for worse, like percy, it seems like you’re not one to accept these things without a fight.

you straighten your shoulders, ready to snap back, but before you can, luke declares:

“it’s not her.”

he then knocks the toe of his shoe against your combat boot. you smile and return the gesture. the tension eases out of the room.

for a second, percy wonders if he’ll ever have someone like that: someone to defend like it’s second nature, to share that sort of secret language with, to smile at him like nothing else in the world matters. 

according to annabeth, the two of you weren’t technically dating — but percy is pretty sure that aphrodite is swooning over you. 

“see, grove? if camp half-blood’s golden boy can vouch for me, then i’m in the clear.” your tone is playful enough — no hard feelings — but the tips of grover’s ears still turn red. “i didn’t steal the bolt. sure, the gods and titans can tear each other apart for all i care — " 

annabeth stiffens at your bold statement, and grover starts to nervously chew on an empty diet coke can he had stashed in his pocket. luke watches you with the hint of a smile on his face, and percy —

well, percy can’t help but admire you even more. 

"— but it's everything else that i have an issue with.”

“everything else?”

you look at percy like the answer is obvious. 

“when have the gods ever fought their battles without us as collateral damage? doesn’t seem worth it to me, to betray my friends.” 

that itch in the back of percy’s brain gets harder to ignore.

“the oracle warned me, betrayed by a friend.” 

“prophecies don't always come true,” annabeth reminds him. “at least not in the way we expect them to.” 

“annie is right,” luke adds, nodding at his sister. “mine didn't. the oracle said i would die a hero.” 

you turn to luke then, your eyebrows furrowed. 

“what? you never told me that.” 

“it doesn’t matter,” luke insists. “my point is that i came back from my joke of a quest, alive and a definitely not a hero —”

“fuck what the oracle said.” you roll your eyes. “dead or alive, you are a hero, tiger.”

you move to place a hand on luke’s arm. to percy’s surprise, though, luke brushes you off.

“i’m not a hero. at least not the one my dad expects me to be.”

again, percy is taken aback by how luke snapped, at you of all people. you huff, and percy can tell that you’re a bit agitated now, too. 

“okay, but that doesn’t mean —”

“my point is.” luke turns to percy, effectively blocking your presence for the time being. “you completed your quest, fought a god, and stalled kronos’ plan. you’ve been through it — all three of you have — but now you’re back. let’s just enjoy the rest of our summer, yeah? whatever happened out there, whatever the oracle said, it’s in the past.”

percy wants to believe luke, he really does. one glance in your direction, and it seems like you do, too.

deep down, though, percy isn’t entirely convinced. there’s that dread in the pit of his stomach, that voice in the back of his head. something in him, warning that this isn’t quite over. the worst has yet to come.

he wonders if — or maybe just hopes — you feel the same.

—

ii.

if you of all people can’t get luke’s attention, grover is pretty sure that the world is ending.

“luke,” you try again, foregoing your usual nickname for him. your arms are crossed and you tap your foot against the floor. it makes grover slightly anxious, feeling your frustration threaten to boil over.

“i’m busy,” he grunts, and flips over another page, scribbling something on the other side. 

“grover wanted to talk to us about something.”

“i-it’s fine, we don’t have to —”

“no, it’s a good idea, grove,” you insist. you smile at grover then. he remembers that, despite the deadly glares you can deliver, like the one you were just giving luke, you have a gentle core. you just guard it behind sharp edges. 

“tell him that i’ll talk to him later.”

“or, you could tell him yourself,” you huff. grover waves awkwardly, even though luke doesn’t realize what’s happening. “he’s right next to me.”

luke looks up briefly, and then back down at the pages in front of him just as quick. he looks tired, exhausted even. 

“sorry, man. didn’t see you there. i gotta finish these reports.”

“no worries. i tend to be quiet on my hooves.”

in the moment of silence that follows, and with luke still not giving you the attention you’re asking for, you walk over to the desk where luke is working. what you see seems to make you even more annoyed than before.

“these reports are for september. why in the name of nemesis are you filling them out now?”

“i just want to be prepared.”

“prepared for what?”

luke hesitates. “just….the future.”

“oh!” you laugh, sharp and sarcastic. “i didn’t realize that the future required you to neglect your friends.”

“i’m trying to help my friends,” luke huffs. he taps his pen impatiently against the desk. “if you didn’t keep interrupting me —”

“oh my fucking gods — ”

grover watches the two of you argue. it had been easier to step in whenever something bubbled up between annabeth and percy, because they were just kids. but you and luke — you were adults. 

when grover met luke for the first time, he was already taking on way too much responsibility for a kid — keeping thalia and annabeth alive, protecting them from monsters, taking care of them. in a lot of ways, those responsibilities didn’t go away: as a senior counselor and resident older brother, a hero for the older campers to admire and the younger kids to aspire to be. camp half-blood’s golden boy, as you liked to call him. 

and, like you, luke is good at hiding. for him, its heavy burdens behind easy-going smiles. 

lately, though, those smiles seem to be strained, his shoulders slowly bending under the weight of it all. the other day, grover asked you if everything was okay with luke. you had looked back at him sadly, shrugged, and said you didn’t know.

that’s when grover decided that everyone just needs a break — an escape. he had been sensing that things weren’t quite right with the others, too. percy seems a little on edge, and so does annabeth.

then, of course, there was you and luke. finding out that the two of you had actually started dating was huge news for someone like grover who had painstakingly watched the two of you dance around your feelings for years. so, it was more than a little weird that you’d barely been speaking this past week. the rare occasion you did was tense at best, and explosive at worst. 

like now, when you pick up one of the reports luke was working on, and threaten to burn it. luke dares you to do so, even suggests, albeit sarcastically, that you use it as your next offering to the gods. 

“oh, a handwritten document from luke castellan himself? they would love that,” you snort. “admit it: you’re doing all of mr. d’s work just to suck up to some gods who don’t even give a shit about any of this. you’re practically olympus’ lapdog.”

luke, blushing a furious shade of red, gets up and yanks the paper from your hand.

“at least my parent is important enough to actually have a seat on olympus and an actual cabin for his kids to stay in.”

you look like you could just about throw luke into a fire, and vice versa. grover had never seen the two of you like this, but it made sense: each of you knowing just where, and how, to hurt the other.

and, he thinks it’s about time to step in before the damage is irreversible. so, grover starts slowly clapping. the clapping gets faster, and he manages to get through the first few lines of the consensus song before you stop him.

“alright, alright,” you sigh. you push past luke, steal his chair, and put your feet up on the desk. luke scowls at you, but you put your hands up in surrender and jut your chin out towards grover. “just listen to what grover has to say and then we’ll let you get back to your precious reports.”

grover tells luke his idea. luke actually agrees, and grover can’t help but feel a little bit of a victory. 

he’s a protector, after all. it’s his job to make sure you’re all alive and happy and thriving. and not burnt to a crisp over some petty argument.

—

iii. 

annabeth had missed home when she was away on their quest, but being back and seeing everyone being taught to worship the gods without question, to believe that the only things that matter are power and glory….well, after everything that happened, after percy, annabeth can’t just go back to doing the same. at least not entirely. 

all this to say, she was totally on board with grover’s idea: the five of you, renting a cabin in montauk to get away from camp for a bit.

unfortunately, the trip starts off less than ideally. you and luke bicker the entire way here — and not the playful jabs you usually throw at each other. 

annabeth remembers the first time she saw you together. it was during breakfast, their first morning at camp half-blood. annabeth had spent the night trying not to cry over thalia, and already missing luke even though he was only a few cabins away. she was still a kid, surrounded by strangers, told that she was safe now, but didn’t quite believe it yet. one look to luke at the hermes table, and annabeth could tell he felt the same way, too — not quite settled in this new place that was supposed to be home, and with these people who were supposed to be family.

she watched as the hermes table went to burn offerings to the gods. when they sat down again, luke looked even more unsettled than before.

but then, you leaned in and whispered something in luke’s ear, and he actually laughed, just a bit, which was a nice change of pace. luke was always the one making annabeth and thalia laugh when they were running from monsters, always the one trying to keep everything together with a smile or a joke.

as she devoured her breakfast, annabeth couldn’t help but keep glancing at the two of you. she heard warnings from her half-siblings, about your mother being the goddess of revenge, and you living up to that name. 

luke either didn't know, or didn't care about whatever reputation you had. sitting there, next to you, annabeth didn’t think she’d ever seen luke so, genuinely happy, so at ease.

all these years later, neither you nor luke seemed particularly happy. you’re obviously avoiding each other, and annabeth doesn’t understand why.

you and luke are a new puzzle that she can’t wait to solve. 

annabeth had finished constructing the most elaborate sandcastle in history, just for percy to accidentally splash it when he was trying to surf a wave; so she decides that playtime is over. it’s time to figure out what exactly is going on between you and luke.

luke is in the cabin doing gods know what. you're on the deck painting your nails, so annabeth decides to start gathering information from you, first. 

“hey." you finish painting your pinky a dark purple, and set the bottle down next to you. "having fun?”

annabeth nods once and sits next to you. she asks if you could paint her nails, and you pull out a bottle of silver polish you said you thought she might like. 

as you work, careful with each stroke of polish, annabeth surveys the tattoos on your skin. you’re wearing a bikini top, so there are some that she’s seeing for the first time. there's one of a knife on your sternum, and annabeth distinctly remembers seeing a similar one peeking from underneath the collar of luke’s shirt. she wonders when you got it, if you had to travel to a tattoo parlour in the city, how many other adventures you'd gone on without having to consult the oracle beforehand. 

maybe that’s a good place to start. 

“have you ever thought about leaving camp? like, long term?" 

"sometimes," you admit. "it would be nice to have some normal early-twenties experiences."

"would you go to school?"

you smile as you keep painting annabeth’s nails. “maybe. i might have seen legally blonde too many times, but i think about law school sometimes.” 

“what about luke?”

your smile fades at the question. “i...i don’t know." your once precise nail-painting falters, and you mumble a curse when a drop of silver lands on annabeth's skin. you swipe it away before continuing. "luke's one of those people i can't really see away from camp half-blood for too long; pretty sure it would burn down without him. there's a reason he feels responsible for everyone there...in a way i respect, obviously, but, it's not the same for me. nobody needs me."

"luke needs you."

you sigh, and annabeth wonders if you even realize how you shake your head slightly. she thinks you're about to disagree with her, but instead you ask: 

“what's this about, annie? are you thinking about your dad’s offer?”

and annabeth’s completely thrown off her line of inquiry. 

“how did you —”

“perce told me that you’ve been talking about staying with him for the year,” you explain. you gesture at annabeth to give you her other hand, and she complies. the silver polish on the hand you just finished glitters in the sun. 

“well, nothing’s confirmed.”

you look up at annabeth, one eyebrow raised. “it's okay, you know — if you just wanna….be a kid for a bit.”

annabeth is silent, prompting you to ask another question.

"what's holding you back?"

“well….at first, i thought it would be a definite no,” annabeth admits. “obviously, it didn’t work out last time. i don’t know if i want to risk it again — if i can trust him, you know? how do i know he actually cares —  that he’ll be there for me when i need him?”

“you don’t.” you pause for a second. “but i’m gonna tell you a story that i think might help.”

you're done painting her nails, so you put everything away. you sit cross-legged next to annabeth, looking out at the ocean.

“my dad never wanted me to go to camp. he wanted to raise me in the city, just like he’d grown up. he’d take me to rock concerts all the time. i was so young, he’d make me wear earmuffs and carry me on his shoulders so that i could still see the band.” you smile softly at the memory. “and then….my dad got sick, he couldn’t take care of me, and monsters started to show up, so he brought me to camp for safe keeping." 

"you've told me all this," annabeth remarks. 

you start fiddling with your camp necklace. annabeth isn't used to seeing you so unsure, so nervous; it throws her off even more. 

"what i haven't told you is that even when my dad got better, he….he didn’t give me a choice of where to stay.”

"oh," is all annabeth can say. 

“yeah, oh," you scoff, but there’s not really any malice behind it. you seem…sad. defeated, almost. your fingers move to play with the hem of your shorts, which causes the fresh nail polish to smudge. you don’t seem too concerned about that at the moment, though. "i told everyone that i chose to stay. the truth is that i stayed because my dad didn't want me anymore. he said that the universe gave him a second chance, so he wanted to live his life without having to worry about monster attacks or taking care of his teenage daughter."

annabeth wonders if luke knows the truth about this; though, considering how difficult it seems for you to admit, she doubts it. 

before, annabeth had a theory that you decided to stay at camp because of luke.

luke was away when you got the news that your dad was in remission. annabeth remembers how happy you were, how excited you were to be back in the city and living with your dad again. you started packing right away.

when luke came back from his failed quest, you had just gone into the city the day before, having promised to visit in the summer and stay in touch. someone – chris maybe, or beckendorf — must have called you, told you what happened, because you came back to camp right away, your bag still fully packed. you never left again. 

"that sucks."

“yeah.” you let out a hollow, breathy laugh. “and, i was angry at first. of course i was. but now, i don’t know. i think that maybe my dad does care about me. like, he still sends me mixtapes with old punk rock songs he thinks i’d like. he actually calls me on my birthday, and we have a 3 minute conversation about nothing important." 

"right…" annabeth furrows her brows. this conversation had definitely not gone as planned. "no offense, but what's —"

"i'm getting to the point," you tell her, bumping your shoulder against hers.  "i realized that sometimes people can only love us in a way that works for them — and it sucks. it really, really sucks. but then sometimes…. sometimes people do actually try. and, i don’t know, it seems like maybe your dad is willing to try.”

“so you think i should take him up on his offer.”

the sun starts to set. you get up, brush sand off your legs. 

“i think it's time for a swim. i also think that you’re smart enough to know what’s best for you, and who deserves a second chance. just know that whatever you decide — we’ll be there for you.”

you leave without another word, but with the return of your usual confident smile, off to the shore to take advantage of the last bits of daylight. 

"she's right, annabeth." luke appears a few seconds later, takes the spot next to annabeth you had just occupied.

annabeth hums.

"how much of that did you hear?" 

luke doesn't answer. he just stares at your form, disappearing in the distance and diving under the waves.

—

iv.

you clear your throat and luke turns around to see you freshly showered. you’re wearing a pair of shorts and one of the oversized band tees the two of you constantly exchange. you've lost track of whose is whose at this point.

luke resists the urge to shamelessly check out your legs, and turns his back towards you once again. that bikini top you were wearing earlier was bad enough. thankfully, the heat from the stove was enough to cover up his blushing cheeks at the sight of your exposed skin. 

“i thought we were ordering pizza,” you say, moving to peer over his shoulder, chin hovering just above. luke had the sense that you were avoiding physical contact, and as much as it drives him crazy, he knows that he’s the one who’d dug his own grave. pushing you away and whatnot. 

“didn’t know that you knew how to cook.”

“not much,” luke shrugs. he keeps stirring the vegetables — broccoli and carrots and baby corn. he’ll add the red peppers once the broccoli turns green so that they don’t become too soft. he’s pretty sure that’s how he remembers it going.

“i could have helped you.” you reach over and hand him the peppers right on time. you shift to lean your back against the counter next to the stove, arms crossed over your chest and eyes following luke. 

luke throws in the chicken he cooked earlier, and then the sauce he had also mixed. he waits a few seconds, lets the sound of everything sizzling fill the space between you. 

“it’s an easy recipe.” luke turns off the stove to punctuate his point. 

and it had to be. something quick he’d make with his mom after she had one of her episodes, before waking up and realizing that she had a son to feed. the sounds, the colors, the smells — it all, overwhelmingly, reminds him of a childhood he once had. one that was never as simple as the food he just made.

none of the bitterness in his throat is caused by his mom, of course. just his father who calls himself a god, and left them both alone to fend for themselves. 

you start getting out plates from the cupboards as you ask: “where are the kids?”

luke checks the pot on the stove to see if the rice is cooked. “told them to go rent something from the video store.” 

“they went alone?”

“they’ve literally been to hell and back,” he replies and sits down at the table. “i think they can handle a blockbuster.”

“i don’t care if they get attacked by monsters,” you state, setting down the last plate in front of him. “i know they can handle themselves. they just better choose a good movie.” 

luke doesn’t mean to snort, but he can’t help but remember all the arguments you’d gotten in with chris over your tastes in movies. 

 “don’t laugh, castellan. i’ve saved movie night on more than one occasion and i’ve never gotten so much as a thank you.” you roll your eyes, but luke notices the ghost of a smile.

it fades just as quickly as it appeared, and luke already misses the small moment of levity that’s passed. 

“what’s been going on with you, tiger?”

you hold his gaze, and luke knows that you’re hoping for a real answer, for the truth he can’t give you. 

“nothing,” he answers instinctively. 

“don’t give me that,” you sigh and turn away from him, returning to your position against the counter. 

“i said it’s nothing,” luke insists, a bit more assertively. “why can’t you just believe me?”

“because you’ve been distant, moody.” your tone is sharper now, too. “you’ve been avoiding me. you’ve barely been eating. the side of your bunk has been empty, which means you haven’t been sleeping, either. gods, i can’t even remember the last time you kissed me —”

“you’re really mad at me because we haven’t fucked?” 

it’s a low blow, and he delivers it as if he hadn’t missed seeing you underneath him. or on top, or beside. luke isn’t picky. 

“you’re impossible!” you groan, and cover your face with your hands. you take a deep breath  before returning to glare at luke. “do….do you not want to be together, anymore? because if that’s what’s happening, i’ll survive. we can go back to being friends.” you clench your jaw to make up for the tremble behind your question. always a tough face, even in the face of potential heartbreak.

of course, luke knows you’ll be fine without him. he’s the one who might have difficulty surviving when you part ways.

“that’s not —” luke sighs and runs a hand through his hair, avoiding your gaze. “that’s not it.”

“then what is it?”

“noth—”

“i will send you to elysium if you tell me it’s nothing one more time, because i know it’s not!” you’re shouting now. “i might not know what it is, but i know you well enough to tell that something is bothering you. so i’m asking you, one more time, what is going on?”

the thing is, luke can’t tell you — about what he’s done, about who he’s aligned himself with. he can’t lie to you, either, at least not to save his life.

so, he’s basically stuck in whatever the greek mythology version of limbo is. 

for now, he’s saved by percy, annabeth, and grover, who walk in with a stack of DVDs and armfuls of movie snacks. 

dinner is fine, especially with the kids providing a good enough buffer. luke even catches you smiling and laughing along with them a few times. you approve of their choice in movies, starting with mulan. it’s one of luke’s favorites, too, but he can’t help but let his attention wander. 

the two of you have known each other for a long time. luke has felt your anger. he’s felt your frustration. you’ve been on opposing sides of explosive arguments, of brutal sparring matches. 

but, despite everything, luke’s never been hated by you. it’s unavoidable, given what he’s done and the path he’s on; it's just not something he's particularly eager to feel.

working for kronos….luke won't pretend he regrets it. something had to be done, to take back the poisonous world the gods created. 

he did it for you, even if you won't understand.

he'd do anything for you.

so, for now, he’s willing to endure the daggers you stare at him from the other side of the couch. 

—

v. 

in another life, you might have taken advantage of the queen bed and private room. both hard to come by at camp half-blood, if you’re not willing to risk zeus’ wrath for the latter.

gods, it feels like forever since you and luke snuck into cabin one because couldn’t keep your hands off each other, curses and lighting strikes be damned. 

you almost wish lightning would strike — at least then the bed would be warm. 

“i can feel you being mad at me,” luke whispers. 

“sorry, thought you’d already be gone by now,” you respond, sarcasm dripping through your words. “off to see whoever else you’d rather sleep with.”

“so, you are mad because we haven’t fucked in a while.”

a stupid slip of the tongue. you can practically hear the smirk in his voice, and your entire body feels on fire for giving him any leverage on you. that was definitely not the warmth you were hoping for. 

“whatever,” you mumble, shuffling closer to the edge of the bed, your back still towards luke. 

for the record, you’re mad because of whatever distance luke was forcing between you, or whatever wall he was putting up, for a reason you don’t understand. you’d always known luke well, but lately you haven’t been able to read him. 

and, sure. maybe you are…. frustrated. the two of you hadn’t been intimate in a while, yes, and your fingers are nothing compared to luke’s, but more than that: you just miss actually feeling him close to you. in any sense. 

you’re not sure how much time passes, and there’s nothing but silence. then, you hear his voice again, gentler than before, no cocky attitude laced through. 

“you never told me about your dad.”

ugh. of course, luke had overheard your conversation with annabeth earlier. damn those sly hermes’ genes.

you stay silent to give off the illusion that you’d fallen asleep, but luke doesn't fall for it. 

“we’ve shared a bunk for years, karma. i can tell when you’re not sleeping.” 

you pause for a few more seconds, but you know that luke is persistent.

“it didn’t matter,” is all you offer before he asks again.

“it did,” luke insists. “why didn’t you tell me?”

“it’s not like we tell each other everything,” you scoff. “like, why didn’t you tell me about that prophecy? and why won’t you tell me whatever’s going on with you now?”

“that’s….that’s different.” 

“not really. i bet that it’s all for the same reason.”

“which is?”

 you debate telling luke the truth. 

it was no surprise that you had a certain reputation around camp: cunning, hot-tempered, brash. you were fine being the angry girl whose mother wasn’t enough of a god to warrant a cabin, but enough of a threat to be wary of. you didn’t want to be the one who was also dropped by her father, unwanted and too much of a burden. so, you swallowed the reality of the situation; pretended that nothing broke your heart, and that nothing ever would.

“i didn’t want you to look at me differently,” you admit. 

another pause, this time from the other side of the bed. 

“if it makes you feel better, i was glad that you stayed.”

you can’t help it; you let out a sardonic laugh.

“that’s not much of a comfort, since you haven’t seemed very thrilled with me lately.”

“that’s not….” luke falters. “i just mean that i don't know who i’d be if you left.”

in spite of the situation, the ongoing tension between you, you find yourself smiling. 

“always so dramatic,” you tease.

deep down, you know you’re not much better.

luke was part of the reason you might have stayed at camp, anyways. he was the reason why you didn’t fight harder to get back to your old life, and you always did like a good fight.

it was scary though, that one person had so much power over you and didn’t even know it. you tried to convince yourself that you stayed because luke had needed you, after his quest and everything. but, once you’d known how it felt to have luke in your life, you didn’t want to go back to a time you didn’t. 

truthfully, it still scares you.

“i don’t like fighting with you,” you admit softly, swallowing a lump in your throat. “especially when i don’t even know why we’re fighting in the first place.”

you wonder if you’d just thought that instead of saying it out loud because luke doesn’t respond, until you hear the sheets behind you shuffle, and feel luke position himself behind you.

"i'm sorry that we're fighting. it's my fault."

he settles a tentative hand on your exposed hip, where your shirt had ridden up. luke starts to trace circles onto your skin with his thumb, the way he sometimes does when he's nervous or having a bad dream.

"i’ve just been so….in my head. i don't want you to worry about what's going on with me, okay?

"luke —"

"i have to sort it out on my own.”

"you don’t, though,” you insist. “if you just tell me what’s going on, instead of pushing me away.”

another pause. you can feel him breathing down your neck, and in turn you inhale the spicy citrus of his body wash. it’s all so excruciatingly familiar as you wait for him to say something, anything. 

eventually, luke sighs, deeply, and confesses:

"it's just….we've known each other for so long, but this — us? so much of it is new. i don't want to fuck it up." 

"well, congratulations," you quip. "you're one step closer to getting there."

you meant it as a joke, something to lighten the mood, but you feel luke stiffen at your words, his grip on your hip becoming almost painfully tight as if he's worried you'll slip away.

"i'm kidding, tiger." you weave your fingers through his to loosen his hold on you, and reassure him even more that you're not going anywhere, any time soon. "for better or for worse: you’re mine, and i'm yours. no matter how much either of us might fuck it up."

luke shuffles closer, and you melt into him even more. 

"do you really mean that?"

his voice is soft, surprisingly timid. you crane your neck back to look at him; luke stares at you, his gaze heavy enough to take your breath away. 

“of course.” 

you're so close, and you hadn't been in so long. luke's leg is somehow lodged in between your thighs, and you bite back a whimper as he brushes against you. you feel him behind you, already half-hard, and you rub your ass against him slightly, causing a groan to vibrate through his body. 

neither of you have to do much to crash your lips together.

you can sense how luke’s been unraveling, from the kiss alone. his lips are chapped, rough against yours and already bleeding from the pressure; his stubble scrapes against your cheek, and you’re dizzy with anticipation, imagining how it will leave a stinging sensation on other areas of your skin when luke has his way with you later. 

for now, you focus on your mouth on his: teeth clacking together, your tongue laving over the cut on luke’s bottom lip and tasting copper. luke brings a hand up to your jaw, pushing you into his mouth even more. 

it’s like the first time you kissed. all consuming. messy. urgent — like you've already run out of time. 

eventually, you have to pull yourself away from his grasp, your neck straining at the uncomfortable angle. luke takes the opportunity to suck bruises onto your neck while he presses his thigh harder against your cunt. he slips his other hand further underneath your shirt, cupping your breast and pinching your nipple between his fingers.  instinctively, you start rutting against him. 

“f-fuck,” you groan, relishing in the muscles of his naked thigh underneath you, defined and strong. 

luke chuckles, and you feel his breath warm against your skin. 

“you missed me that much, hm?” he taunts, encouraging you to go faster, harder. “you’re gonna cum before i even have a chance to undress you. doesn’t seem fair to me.”

“who —” your breath catches when luke’s hand settles around your throat, pulling you impossibly closer to him. you feel the outline of his abs against your lower back, and his length, hard and waiting. it’s difficult to finish your thought, but you try your best. “who says i only have to cum once?”

“that sounds like a challenge,” luke decides. “what’s our record — three? think we can beat that tonight?”

you laugh, already out of breath. “i think we can do it.”

“good girl.”

your thighs clench at the nickname, and it's one down, a few more to go. 

you maneuver luke so that he lays flat on the bed, your legs on either side of his hips. your hands fumble with the edge of his shirt, and he lets you remove it without any more hassle.

it's a little ironic, really, how much you and luke hate the gods — because looking at him underneath you, you're sure that something divine must have created him, and you have to thank them for it. sharp jaw, deep scar, flushed cheeks; curls slightly askew, and skin glistening with a thin sheen of sweat; that cocky smile — you'd worship luke castellan over any of the olympians. 

secretly, of course, you pretty much already do.

"like what you see?" luke smirks up at you, hands firmly on your ass.

you roll your eyes to save face. "come on, tiger, like you're not seconds away from tearing through your boxers." 

luke clicks his tongue, locks his calf around yours to switch your positions. you grunt as your back hits the mattress, but you very much appreciate the force and weight of luke above you. he practically rips off your shirt, then starts to nip and suck down your body. he kisses the fabric still covering your cunt, and you can feel his chuckle vibrate through your body when he encounters the wetness there. 

"i'm not the one who already ruined their underwear," luke teases as he finishes undressing you. he pauses at the sight of you, bottom half completely exposed. you're about to tell him to hurry the fuck up, but then luke spits onto your already soaked cunt and says: 

“i need to clean you up, baby.” he gives you another cheeky grin, teeth glowing like the cheshire cat, before diving in.

luke is skilled at everything he does, so of course he's quick to unravel you once more, this time with a persistent combination of tongue and teeth, lapping at your cunt like it's his last meal. 

as soon as you're done riding out your high, you yank luke by the leather cord around his neck to collide your lips with his again. 

you reach down to return the favor, snake your hand underneath the fabric of his underwear, and you're deeply satisfied to find him already sticky with his release.

“you already finished,” you tease, stroking his v-line. "and ruined your underwear without me even touching you." 

in the dim light of the moon, you can barely make out luke blushing. he hides his face in the junction between your neck and shoulder. 

“guess we’re both desperate, huh.” luke’s teeth graze your skin, his curls tickling your neck. “i need to be inside you, now, so how about you get on your hands and knees for me? i’ll get the condom.”

sometimes, luke tries to be gentle — but not this time. 

this time, he fucks you, hard and fast and deep. 

you love it, even if you might not be able to walk properly tomorrow.

with so much power behind each thrust, and the overwhelming pleasure, your arms threaten to give out, but luke catches you before you fall. he wraps a hand around your neck, bringing you flush against his chest as he continues to plunge his length into you. 

"listen to me," luke growls. he snakes a hand down to rub harsh circles on your clit. "the one thing the gods did right is make this perfect, tight little pussy of yours. you were fucking made for me, weren't you?" 

all you can do is whimper, closing your eyes at his filthy, sinful words. 

you aren't used to luke being so possessive, and certainly not in these past few weeks. it's making your head spin in the best way. you can feel your orgasm build in the pit of your abdomen.

"were you made for me?" luke asks again. he squeezes your neck slightly, and you gasp at the pressure. "answer me, or i'll stop." 

you don’t think it’s likely he’ll stop; you’re sure he’s just as lost in the sound of your cunt squelching and the feeling of you sucking him in. but, he does slow down, only a little bit, and it's enough for you to start whining.

"y-yes, luke."

"are you mine?"

you don't answer fast enough. luke stills his hips completely and you almost burst into tears.

you moan, trying to move against him in vain. luke keeps a firm grip on you, making it hard to cause any sort of friction between your bodies.

"i'm yours," you promise.

luke plants a firm kiss behind your ear. “that’s my girl,” he whispers darkly.

satisfied, luke resumes his pace. he moves the hand around your neck to your chin, angling you accordingly so he can crash his lips onto yours. 

it doesn't take long to feel the tension in your abdomen snap, wetness gushing out of you. exhausted, you collapse onto the mattress. luke slips out of you.

the next few seconds consist of you trying to bring yourself back down to reality after such a high. 

luke turns you around just to face him as he hovers over you. he lodges his hand behind your ear and taps your cheek to get your attention. your eyes flutter open.

“did you just —” 

the dampness between your legs, and on the sheets underneath you, is enough evidence: you just squirted.

"i….” you gulp, feeling yourself flush. “i’ve never done that before."

luke stares at your glistening cunt. you wonder if you should be embarrassed, but then he locks eyes with you. you've never seen them so dark, pupils almost fully blown, just a sliver of brown showing through.

"you’re so fucking hot."

your heart flutters. 

“you’re not too bad yourself, tiger, or i wouldn’t be in this mess.” you wink at him, still trying to catch your breath. your eyes wander lower. you note luke in the current state he’s in; you realize that the scales are nowhere near balanced. “that’s three for me, and only one for you. let me taste you.” 

he doesn't need to be told twice. you get on your knees once more, this time facing him as he kneels in front of you. luke rips off the condom, something to deal with later, and you take him in your mouth, cheeks hollowed and tears brimming your eyes feeling him fuck your throat. when he finishes, you swallow him whole, savoring every drop. he pulls you up for a kiss; you can still taste yourself on him, and it mixes with his new release, a combination that is more than a little intoxicating. 

“fuck,” luke mumbles as he pulls away. he swipes his thumb over the corner of your mouth where some of his cum dribbled out. “i know that was intense, but would you be up for another round? "

"yeah," you reply without a second thought, reaching up to thread your fingers through his curls to ground yourself. 

maybe you should thank artemis for the full moon tonight, giving you just the right amount of silver light to illuminate the sculpted curves and edges of luke's body. his skin is also littered with bruises and bites of your design, chaotic and beautiful. luke looks like a mess, just as you're sure you do. 

you want more. you need more.

"we gotta go for four, remember? but...maybe we, uh…"

"....slow it down this time?" luke finishes your thought. 

you nod, grateful that you and luke are on the same page. he scrambles off the bed to get another condom.

"shit. i don't have another one.”

"check my bag, too," you tell him. luke complies, but comes up short once more.  

you’re sitting up against the headboard now, and luke returns to kneel in front of you. 

"i can use my fingers,” luke offers. “or eat you out again —"

“or we could just do without a condom this time?” you suggest. luke raises an eyebrow at you, so you think through the possibilities out loud. "we both got tested before our first time together and haven’t been with anyone since.” you find yourself pausing for confirmation on that, and luke nods once. “i’m on birth control. obviously there’s still a risk that something happens, but maybe just this one time? you can just pull out whenever you’re ready….if you're okay with that."

luke waits, almost like he thinks you might change your mind, before finally answering:

“yeah, i’m okay with it if you are. i’ve always wanted to fuck you raw. i just didn’t think you’d be into it — and didn’t want you to feel pressured.”

you have to kiss him then. because how is it that the boy who just gave you three jaw clenching, toe curling, heart pounding orgasms be so sweet and considerate?

before you know it, you’re flat on your back, sheets slightly scratchy with stray sand. you don't care much because luke hovers above you; he presses his forehead to yours, curls falling in front of his face. 

"just so you know," luke starts, just as you feel him enter you once more. "i must have been made for you, too. i'm just as much yours as you are mine."

you smirk, bite your lip to keep from moaning so that you can keep up the arrogance, just a bit longer. 

"always so dramatic," you mock, as if your cunt isn’t squeezing around him at his sweet nothings. 

luke grins at you sheepishly, his cheeks flushed. 

"guess that means the gods did two things right," you joke, exhaling when you feel luke brush against that gummy spot deep within you. "maybe we've taken them for granted. maybe we should - " he hits that spot again, and your breath hitches. you dig your nails into his shoulders as he rocks back and forth. “maybe we should thank them.”

luke clicks his tongue, grips your hip firmly. "not a chance, sweetheart. the gods’ll get what they deserve."

you don’t care enough to ask luke what he means. you care more about him going faster. you’re about to tell him to do so, and to throw your legs over his shoulders, but he does it himself before you get the chance. you feel him slipping deeper within you, the force and passion behind each movement, his body molding to every curve and crevice of yours. 

made for each other.

you’re so sensitive that your orgasm approaches quickly. as he helps you ride it out, his thrusts get sloppier, and you know he’s almost reached his peak, too. 

“fuck,” he grunts. “i’m close.” luke starts to pull out, but then you lock your ankles behind his neck. 

“don’t,” you command. 

“a-are you sure?” he looks at you, wide-eyed.

“i just want to feel you this once.”

he nods and brings you in for one more bruising kiss. he finishes inside you, warm and wet. 

luke leaves once he catches his breath, and comes back with a damp towel to clean you up. he knows your body, recognizes how sensitive you are, and presses kisses on the inside of your thighs, where the same lips had made bruises before. 

even completely fucked out, your mind starts to unpack everything that’s wrong in your life. like how luke has always been a little too good at pretending, with everyone else at least, and something serious must be going on if he's trying to fool you, too.  

this luke with you now, the one who gently wipes his cum from between your legs after fucking you so relentlessly, is your luke. it feels like your luke is slipping right through your fingers, and you’re wracking your brain trying to figure out how this can stop before losing him completely.

wait….did luke say something about getting revenge on the gods? your mind is still a bit cloudy, but you could’ve sworn —

 “are you okay?” 

his question puts pause on your spiraling. he’s done cleaning you up, throws the towel on the floor and settles back on the bed, next to you. you’re close enough for the softest whisper, your limbs intertwined beneath tangled sheets.

you watch luke carefully as he waits for an answer and surveys your body, tracing his fingers over the marks he'd left underneath your jaw, across your shoulders, over your collarbones and down your stomach. 

"i didn't hurt you, did i?"

“i’m okay,” you assure him. luke’s hand stops to gently rest on your cheek. your other worries are pushed to the side for the time being: for now, it's just you and luke. “do you think we could pick up a plan b pill tomorrow though, just in case? i love you, but i’m not ready to have your babies.”

luke widens his eyes like a minotaur in headlights. he drops his hand.

 “you’ve never said that before.”

“that i want to have your babies?” you jest, slightly amused at how panicked luke seems.

luke blushes and clears his throat. “well, that too. i meant the whole ‘i love you’ thing, though.” 

your amusement evaporates. you swear your heart stops beating momentarily.

“oh, shit.…” 

you’re not quite sure what to say; you’ve felt this way for a while, truthfully. 

of course you love luke. you can't remember exactly when you realized it, but you just….know.

because if what you felt for luke wasn’t love, then you were foolish to have secretly bought into what silena beauregard had been on about for years, and aphrodite herself might just be out of a job. 

“i know we’re kind of in a weird place, but, yeah, i mean it. you don’t have to say it back —”

luke leans forward to kiss you. gentler this time, but just as firm. “i love you."

"you do?" your heart resumes its beating. 

"of course i do. i have ever since my first morning at camp.”

“yeah right,” you chuckle in disbelief, feeling your cheeks heat up. “it’s not a competition, you know, over who loved who first.”

“karma, i’m serious,” he insists. “someone taught me to burn offerings, and with everything that happened with thalia, i obviously wasn't in the worshiping mood, but then you leaned over and whispered —"

"they like the smell of begging." 

luke grins at you, and you reach up to brush your thumb against the dimple in his cheek. 

"exactly. somehow, that was what i needed to hear. it was nice to know that i wasn't the only one who didn’t want to just accept things the way they were….” he loses his train of thought. luke grabs your hand in his. “i wish i had told you earlier. after all this, i don’t want to lose you.”

“you won’t —”

“whatever happens,” luke continues, somewhat ominously. “i love you, y/n.”

you hadn't heard luke use your real name in a while. you fall asleep, heart full with the memory of him weaving it together with those three magic words. 

the next morning, you wake up — you actually sleep in, for the first time in years — and decide that if you could stay here forever, you would. 

the morning sun stings your eyes through the sheer curtains. the sticky heat of summer sits heavy in the room, and stray grains of sand tickle your skin underneath the sheets. waves wash gently on the shore outside, and an ocean breeze mixes with the smell of burnt cinnamon. you can hear annabeth, grover, and percy crashing dishes and bickering and causing chaos in the kitchen as, you imagine, they scramble to surprise you with breakfast. 

luke is next to you, on his stomach. his curls are a mess, covering most of his face. 

evidence from last night: scratches from your nails prominent on his back, his neck decorated with purple bruises in the shape of your lips. you shift slightly and feel a dull ache between your legs, so you'd call it even.

outside, something clatters on the floor, and you hear percy swear.

luke's eyes flutter open, ever so slightly, and he starts to move. "we should get up before they burn down the place." 

you press your hand to luke's shoulder blade, barely, but in his half-asleep state, it's enough to keep him in bed. luke moves to his side, facing you. you bring your hand up to brush curls away from luke's eyes, even if they're still closed.

"they've literally been to hell and back," you recall his sarcastic words from last night. "i think they can handle pancakes." 

the corners of luke's mouth curl upwards. 

"you're such a smart ass," he mumbles.

you lean forward, plant a kiss underneath luke's chin. his stubble scratches against your lips. 

"don't pretend you don't love it, tiger."

luke breathes steadily. you think he might've fallen asleep once more until he presses his lips to your forehead, pulls you towards him, and quips:

"i love you."

your heart quickens as you echo his words. something churns in your stomach, too.

because this peace isn't something that feels permanent.

you're the children of gods, and there's always a catch. some inevitable plot twist where lovers end up separated, where heroes end up dead or cursed. 

it's nauseating — dangerous, even — that you want a happy ending, a desire buried in you deeply like a knife to the gut. it's cruel that the fates keep twisting, taunting you with what can never be.

no monsters; no gods or titans; no prophecies.

just this.

[livlaughloveluke]

Reader getting neglected by her mom Hera bc she was a mistake? And Luke convincing her to join him and in the end she does- or she doesn't bc she is still loyal to Hera and Luke leaves her because of itt

ᡣ𐭩 𝗴𝗼𝗱𝗱𝗲𝘀𝘀

luke castellan x daughter of hera! reader 🦚

IN WHICH.. basically just the request

warning! this fic contains- use of y/n // few curse words // female reader // spoilers for tlt // heart wrenching angst

[a/n]- a lot of lines inspired by the last episode of the good place (literally my favorite show) and a line from the song “anything” used

🎧- goddess by laufey

2.3k

You were a mistake. 

There was no alternative way to phrase it, at least not in the eyes of your godly mother, Hera. You were conceived in a fit of jealousy; your mom wanted to get petty revenge on Zeus for some clueless error he made. And so, within the blink of an eye, she transformed into a mere mortal and seduced a random man, otherwise known as your father.

When you stumbled into camp, bruised and bloody from a Cyclops attack, not a soul expected you to be the malicious goddess's daughter. Hera was loyal to her husband, even claiming multiple times that she forebode affairs, only allowing Zeus to commit the unfaithful acts. However, while she may have been the goddess of marriage, her extreme jealousy overpowered them all.

Which is why she detested you. You were a symbol of her errors, a constant reminder of her regretful affair. 

You had a total of two interactions with her, the first one being her claiming of you and the second one being a spiel about how she resented and wanted absolutely nothing to do with a ‘disgrace.’ 

She was the reason you were so alone your whole life. There were no siblings to talk with, no mom to spend time with, and no father who could actively be present. In fact, the cabin hadn’t even been furnished when you arrived; no one thought your mother would commit infidelity. 

With no bed to sleep in, at least until the one Mr. D ordered online arrived, you stayed in the Hermes cabin, a place welcoming to all. You were fourteen when you met Luke Castellan, who had already been claimed by his father and who generously made you feel included. He stayed up with you on those late nights, helping to calm you while you vented about your neglectful mother, and he saved you a spot at the picnic tables when no one else would. 

From that point on, you and Luke had formed an incredible relationship. Even after you moved back into Cabin 2, you remained close friends. Seeing that you were the only daughter of Hera, you joined Cabin 11 for the daily activities, which only amplified your connection with the boy. Eventually, with the help of your friends, Chris and Clarisse, Luke worked up the courage to ask you out. You happily obliged, and ever since then, you have been dating. 

Four years later, your bond with the boy was admired by nearly all. The two of you were a symbol of hope—that even in the pandemonium of demigod life, you could find love. As you grew into young adulthood, you became a profound woman, one with elegance and kindness, despite the hauntings of your past. 

With Luke by your side, you began to love the simple joys life provided. You cared for the campers like your own kin, in hopes of providing the external fondness you were never granted as a child. 

You and Annabeth became as close as ever, bonding over the experiences Camp Half-Blood provided. Her flawless skills in battle proved she didn’t need any protection, and yet you were always there to guard her from the dangers life presented. While Annabeth was reticent to most, after many weeks of being friends, she opened up to you.

You had that welcoming effect on nearly everyone, helping arrivals settle into their chaotic lifestyle. Which is how you ended up being chosen to complete a treacherous quest along with the new camper Percy, the satyr Grover, and your honorary little sister, Annabeth. 

After packing the evening before departure, you headed to say goodbye to Luke. You both knew that the trip would be dangerous, with a chance you wouldn’t return, so you decided to relish in each other’s presence by the lake, just in case.

He sat on the dock while you lay in his lap, gently stroking your scalp as you watched the sun set and paint bright colors atop the sky. 

“I’m gonna miss you.” You spoke up, breaking the comfortable silence. 

“It’s only ten days. I went fourteen years without you; I can manage a week.” He said, smiling softly while looking down at you. 

“Yeah. Ten days is nothing. I’d wait a hundred years for you.” You agreed, mirroring his expression. While you chatted, the colorful sky eventually faded into a deep blue, signaling that your time by the lake was coming to an end.

“Cmon, everyone’s asleep by now.“ He alerted you, standing up and offering you a hand. You accepted, interlocking your fingers and walking back to the cabins.

“Can I stay with you tonight?” You pondered as you strolled to Hera’s cabin. Sure, it was against the rules, but you just wanted to spend the last night with him. And what’s the worst you could do while surrounded by twenty other children?

“Course. The campers owe me a favor since I took them to the lake last Friday, so they won’t snitch.” Luke replied, changing course to the Hermes cabin. 

Sleep came easy that night as you laid on Luke’s chest while his hands rested on your waist. Leaving the next morning was hard, but with the words from last night still present in your mind, you left with a smile. 

The mission was nearly impossible, with monsters chasing you around every corner. After traveling to (literally) hell and back, you finally arrived back at camp.

Campers lined up cheering; a whole festival was planned for the victory brought by Percy. While most would miss the warm, safe beds in the cabins or the hot showers, you only craved one thing: your boyfriend. One short Iris message during your trip wasn’t enough. You wanted to listen to him blink, to listen to his hands soothe, to listen to his heart beating. 

And so, within minutes of your arrival, you had found yourself embraced in Luke’s arms. All of your worries pertaining to the Lightning Thief faded away as you ran your fingers through his curls, your knees practically buckling at the sight of him. 

“I missed you.” You whispered into his ear, swaying side to side as you hugged him. 

“I missed you too. Camp hasn’t been the same.” 

“I’m here now. We have all the time we need.” 

“There’s too many people around. I found a new spot in the woods if you want to join me, and we can talk about the quest.” He spoke softly, his tone honey-sweet.

“Lead the way, Castellan.”

And so he dragged you deep into the secluded woods, the final location remaining a mystery as you hiked through hundreds of tall trees. The walk was suspiciously long, but with him, time seemed to fade away, and you grew blind to the flaming red flags.

Finally, you reached a clearing, surrounded by luscious greens. You both sat down, leaning your head on his shoulder as you glanced up at the stars. He was silent most of the journey to this unusual destination, just listening to you babble on about everything that happened during your time apart. And his nonverbal attitude didn’t disappear as you sat down, but this time you joined him in the comforting silence while staring up at the stars.

Gazing at him through the moonlight, you watched as his deep brown eyes lit up with a feeling you couldn’t determine. Curious, you queried what roamed his mind. “Whatcha thinking about?” 

“I’m-“ he let out an angry sigh, pausing to gain composure. “I’m tired of the gods treating us like shit and getting away with it.” His indignant behavior staggered you, but Luke was prone to these fits of loathing after speaking to his neglectful father, so you assumed that’s what caused his wrath tonight. 

“I know, and I’m sorry. Rough interaction with your dad again?” You tried to ration, hoping to calm his resentment, but instead it seemed to irritate him more. His jaw clenched with fury as he snapped at you. 

“Why are you apologizing? Don’t defend the gods. They’re ruthless idiots who won’t even spare a glance in your direction.” 

His cruel words made you question everything, praying this was just a dumb prank or something not as serious as he was letting on. Quietly, you asked what he meant. “What are you.. What are you saying?”

After a long pause, he looked away from you and spoke up. “I want you to join me. To join Kronos.”

Your heart sank upon his confession, and you scooted away from him frantically, standing up and trying to brace yourself for whatever he was going to do next. He lifted himself off the ground after you, taking a baby step closer.

“Kronos? You’re joking, right? Luke, please tell me you’re joking.”

You made eye contact with him, realizing that the mysterious tint in his eyes was now readable. It was hatred, pure evil.

“No. I can’t stand to watch them carelessly prance around while their children suffer. I’m standing against them, and I want you to be by my side.”

You grew vexed and infuriated that he was ruining your years-long relationship for some stupid dream. “Are you kidding me? I’m not joining you.” You snarled.

“You’re choosing them? Over me? You’re choosing your mother, who has ignored you your entire life, instead of me. Instead of us?” He growled, approaching you as you trudged backwards. For the first time in your life, you were scared of Luke. Scared of the man you loved.

“I’m choosing my friends at Camp Half-Blood. My family. What about Annabeth? And Percy? Do they know?” Thoughts of Annabeth finding out one of her closest friends was a traitor flooded your brain, hurting you more than Luke’s words ever could.

“No, not yet, at least. Why won’t you stand up for what’s right?”

“You’re starting an unwinnable war here. Tell me, do you really think you could overpower them?” You replied, fuming with anger towards him and the gods, too. And if we’re being honest, you were mad at yourself, too. Mad at yourself for still loving him even though he was hurting you. 

“I will overpower them. With or without you.”

“You're—you're really leaving?” You questioned, and the rage dissipated. 

“I have to.” He demanded, looking down at his feet while clenching his eyes shut. 

A wave of memories washed over you, and suddenly, you didn’t want him to go. You wanted the boy who picked you the freshest of flowers—the boy who came knocking on your bedroom door at night, just wanting to chat.

“Please, Luke. We can forget all about this and go back to living our lives.” You pleaded, your bottom lip quivering as you fought back sobbing. 

“It’s too late now. I never wanted to hurt you, Y/N.”

“Please don’t leave. I was alone my whole life before you, and I told myself I liked it that way, but I don’t. I don’t want to live a life without you. I can’t.” You choked out through mangled sobs, and his demeanor shifted to one of guilt.

“I’m sorry, but it has to be this way. And I can’t let you leave here and spoil my plans before they even start.” 

The air became thick as he finished his sentence, and your tears subsided, freight replacing the sadness that lingered deep in your heart. 

“What does that mean?” You entreated. Was he going to kill you? 

“I love you. Maybe in another universe we can be together.” He said this, fleeting into the shadows. 

“Wait! Luke, you can’t just leave me here!” You yelled, attempting to run after him, but he was nowhere to be found. You stood alone in the darkness of the woods, with no clue as to how to escape the woods. 

Every fragment in your body was telling you to give up, to let go, and to sob. To silence out the cruel world and lay on the earth floor, to wait for your impending death, from the freezing cold temperatures or one of the hungry monsters that lurked in the night. But the thought of Luke getting away with this and letting him escape untouched fueled you. You hiked out of the path you came from, praying you could get back to camp alive.

Eventually, you met the forest ends, stepping foot into a camp that was blissfully unaware of Hermes’ boy’s plan. You shoved through crowds of partying teens, eager to find Annabeth and Percy and warn them.

After searching through every crook, you spotted them talking to Chiron. The look of concealed misery on the young girl’s face told you everything. Luke had already visited. 

You were grateful the two preteens were even alive, but you know how hard this was. They were only kids, not deserving to experience such heartbreak at a mere twelve years old.

Running up to Annabeth, you wrapped her in a comforting, empathy-filled embrace. Her muscles tensed up at first before accepting the hug and leaning in.

“I’m so sorry.” You muttered into her ears as she sighed. Pulling apart to read her emotions, you asked a simple question. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” She murmured unconvincingly.

“Promise?” 

“Swear.” Annabeth replied.

“And you promise you’ll come talk to me if you’re not?” You asked again. 

“Promise.”

You smiled for the first time in hours, basking in the warmth of your family. 

“Is he... gone?” You whispered to her, and it didn’t take an Athena kid to understand who you were talking about.

“Yeah. He escaped through a portal.” 

“Oh.” Was all you could reply, trying to shield the way your heart shattered.

“I’m sorry.” Annabeth said, looking into your glossy eyes. 

“It’s okay. I’ll tell you everything later, but I’m just going to go to bed for now.” 

You left, tears pouring down as you lightly jogged to the Hermes cabin. Slipping off your shoes, you plopped down onto Luke’s bed and sobbed.

His cheap cologne mixed with the citrusy shampoo he used lingered in the hot air, and for a moment, it was like he was still with you.

୨୧

MASTERLISTS 𓏲𝄢 REQUEST / TALK TO ME 𓏲𝄢 RULES

[thewistlingbadger]

One of the strategies Sauron uses to get Galadriel on his side is using her own words against her. And sometimes this is successful and actually works (the Halbrand scene in S2), but there's one big time that it does NOT work and fails epically.

In the season 1 finale, Sauron repeats something that Galadriel's brother told her when she was a child. "To find the light, we must first touch the darkness." He repeats this same phrase AGAIN in season two finale. This strategy fails BOTH times, and it actually motivates her to oppose him. I believe there's two main reasons why all the other times he uses her words works and why this instance fails.

1. Sauron is misunderstanding/misinterpreting the phrase.

2. Sauron does not understand galadriel.

Sauron takes this quote WAY too literally both times he uses it. When he says this phrase, he's basically telling her to come join him, and then she'll be powerful, respected, and a lady of light. Touching the darkness means joining him, but this isn't what finrod meant. Finrod told his baby sister this piece of advice it obviously doesn't mean go side with evil and then come back. What the phrase actually means is that in order to be good, you have to know what's bad. You have to touch the darkness. Joining Sauron is not touching the darkness, it's full on manhandling it.

I think the reason he misunderstands this phrase is because of the way galadriel said it to him. Her brother tells her this to comfort and counsel his sister. Galadriel tells this to Sauron as a stranger, who's being defensive and aggressive. In the forge scene, galadriel is trying to convince him to go back to middle earth. He's very against it and they have a fight about it. Galadriel says this phrase hostily in the fight as a defense, and it COMPLETELY throws him off guard. Why? Because elves are just and proper and they're rigid in their beliefs and morality. He sees galadriel as the epitome of the light, and that idea conflicts with this phrase of moral ambiguity. This phrase in this scene is what actually plants the idea in his head that Galadriel can be turned, because she's already expressing desires for darkness. This phrase is what literally stops their argument, cools him down, and completely changes the course of their conversation. He goes from being heated to being in awe. "What do you know of darkness?" Now there's more to her than what meets the eye or the surface. Now there's something to be curious about, something worth digging and discovering. Perhaps, even a perfect compliment.

There are some things Sauron understands about galadriel, but there's so much he just doesn't understand and can't understand. What he fails to realize/recognize is the fact that Galadriel already HAS touched the darkness. Her brother's death filled her with hate and she had a thirst for revenge. She became violent and bitter and hostile. This behavior isolated herself from everyone else and she didn't care. Let her be alone but right. She lost regard for the lives of others, slaying orcs and having her own men killed whilst on her quest (we only see one elf die bc of this in s1 but it makes me wonder how many others there are). She's disobedient and prideful, only seeing herself as correct. It's so bad that the elves in Lindon are like "HELL NO send her ass home please!" So now not only is she a social outcast, but a LITERAL outcast as well! And that makes her more bitter because in her eyes, she's being punished for being right. She used Sauron and numenor to wage war because it would make her feel better, it would make her feel like she personally is doing something about the shadow over middle earth. It's only until AFTER he reveals himself that she realizes she was in the wrong.

This whole ordeal, ALL of season one WAS her touching the darkness. Season 2 is when she starts her journey to the light. She's more obedient, she takes a step back, and she turns down Sauron a second time. This is why she says the door is shut! She's not joining him, she's not going back to her old ways, she's not joining back to the dark. This time, she's actually going to be light.

I think the reason he doesn't understand this is because he's never had to make a journey to the light. Like galadriel, he started out light. Like galadriel, he was corrupted by evil. Like galadriel, he was in darkness (not to the same extent but whatever). This is where their paths diverge. After the darkness, galadriel made an effort to be good. There was no after darkness for Sauron. There was once a time where he was open to good and redemption but he didn't go for it AND galadriel didn't give it to him. He doesn't know about the journey to light because he's never had to do it.

[beevean]

So some recent... discourse put into my mind the concept of "power fantasy", and how people relate to it in different ways. Of course, I'm talking about Hector :P

Is Hector, in the games, a power fantasy? I think the answer is "yes but actually no but actually yes it's complicated".

Let's be honest, first: Hector is a product of his time. He is, in many aspects, Castlevania's response to the wave of edginess that was en vogue in the mid-2000s - I don't compare CoD to ShTH for no reason lol. Hector was always meant to be an anti-hero contrasting the pure heroes the games always starred before him:

—Why did you choose the theme of "revenge" for this game? Iga: Up to now, the Belmonts have been seen as the good guys. I thought it'd be nice to do something other than a moralistic "good triumps over evil" theme sometime. After all, Castlevania has always had an excellent world for telling a "dark hero" story. Alucard would be one such character… though even he is fighting for a just cause: "I've got to stop my Father!" So he's still kind of a good guy. This time, though, I wanted the motivation itself to be impure. So this theme is what I came up with, and then I thought it would be even more interesting if each side was out for revenge on the other.

Hector has "impure" motivations. His quest is completely selfish: while all the other protagonists want to face Dracula (or others in his place) because it's the right thing to do, Hector is just in to kill the man who ruined his life. In fact, he really couldn't care less about the Curse, and multiple times in the game he asks why can't Trevor just deal with the issues he doesn't want to deal with lol. This is in line with other characters of the same caliber, such as Shadow sneering at a city being invaded by aliens until there is something in for him, or Guts who declares that he's willing to let a whole town fall prey to demons, as long as Casca is safe. However, this is not a detriment to Hector's character like it would be nowadays, as he's also very much mean to be "cool": while obviously every protagonist has his cool factor, even going back to Simon in the first games who defeated Dracula all by himself and then had to heroically struggle with the Curse, Hector is cool in that, well, deliciously over-the-top way that was all the rage back then. He can ride wyverns as he slashes them, he can go toe to toe with Trevor himself to the point that even he is impressed, he can forge a gun and an electric guitar, cutscenes show him punching a stone devil with his bare first, he gloats in Dracula's face that he can nullify his Curse... yeah, he's a gigachad lol. The flaws are only meant to make him cooler and not "boring", as paragon heroes were seen at the time.

I, personally, never cared about this part. I'm not the target audience for this kind of power fantasy. Sure, I like that Hector is over-the-top cool and I will always joke about his most outlandish feats, but I'm not so keen on reducing him to those alone. I couldn't even explain why avenging your dead lover counts as part of a power fantasy lol.

This is why I latched on so much on the first half of his story, the one where Hector deals with Dracula, and why I insist that Hector is much more than his admittedly cliché archetype of "angry man on a revenge quest".

Calling Hector "stoic" is not even knowing the meaning of the word. Calling pretty much any CV protagonist "stoic" is factually wrong, as even the more serious ones like Alucard and Shanoa have other depths to them (Alucard is still grieving for his mother and we see it in a nightmare, Shanoa was deliberately made stoic and she subtly longs to feel again), but Hector doesn't even begin to fit the definition of "One who is seemingly indifferent to or unaffected by joy, grief, pleasure, or pain". The whole point of CoD is that Hector was left so emotionally vulnerable by his grief that both Isaac and Zead used him as a puppet. Anger is the complete antithesis of stoicism. "well anger is still a toxically masculine emotion" - memes aside, Hector shows other emotions too, most notably around Julia, the only person with which we see how actually gentle and polite he is when he doesn't have Dracula's influence scrambling his brain. By the way, you cannot ignore the effects of the Curse on both Hector and Isaac when you analyze them, especially the former:

It can't be plainer than this.

And it doesn't come out of nowhere, because not only Julia herself tries to warn Hector that Devil Forgemasters are susceptible to the Curse, he acts vulnerable around her. He apologizes for his unjust outbursts, sympathizes with her plight, is visibly affected by her grief when Isaac dies... sure, it might be all because he's lowkey crushing on her, if you want to see it that way (and I do have my words over the plot point of Julia looking like Rosaly: I would have preferred if the game had more time to show that Hector grew to see Julia as her own person beyond her appearance), but the point is that this behavior highly contrasts with how angry and aggressive he is to everyone else, which the reveal of the Curse recontextualizes.

Also, just saying, while anger can be toxic, the point of these storylines is usually precisely that revenge is bad. Unchecked anger is bad for you, and you shouldn't let yourself fall down that spiral, lest you lose yourself. Isaac got consumed by his own hatred and died as a tool; Hector realized in time that he should snap out of it and survives, also because he was nice to Julia and so she grew to care about him and saved him when he tried to kill himself <- a reaction that is very unmasculine, might I add, as toxic masculinity dictates that men should make other people pay for their pain. bro. bro this is the complete antithesis of "toxic masculinity". Again, this is really not knowing the meaning of the word.

I don't even need to pull examples from the manga, but just for completion's sake:

iunno about you chief, but someone who bursts into tears just because wifey told him that she's happy he was born isn't exactly the portrayal of toxic masculinity to me.

Which makes me segue into the next point!

Hector and Isaac are victims of abuse, and this is another very important angle to understand them. And I'm not just talking about their childhoods, of which we only get hints, although of course it does matter that the two experienced so much hatred and rejection in their youth that Dracula was the better option for them.

We don't see the details, but Dracula affected both of them deeply. He put them in a competitive dynamic, favoring Hector over Isaac: Isaac grew bitter with resentment, which made him double down on his loyalty to Dracula, while Hector only got the appreciation he craved at the price of his very humanity and morals, which weighed on him. The point of this favoritism is not really the core of their rivalry in game, as that one was caused by Hector's betrayal, but it gives a different dimension to the character. It would have been easy to have the mistreated guy the one who decided to turn his back to Dracula, but no, it was the golden child. Isaac was so entrenched in this dynamic that he never broke free, choosing instead to blame Hector and do everything in his power to prove himself to an uncaring Lord, including (in the manga) killing his own underlings so that he would be free to face Hector by himself. From PtR:

"My own body is proof of Your expectations for him" is such a hard-hitting line. Isaac fears that he didn't even disappoint his Lord, because his Lord didn't have expectations for him in the first place. It's Hector the one he's so proud of.

And Hector hates it. By all means, he should be happy to have a home, to be respected and appreciated and free to use his powers. And he used to be!

"Lord Dracula... You once accepted and needed my powers. There was a time when such a thing gave me joy..."

Hector was grateful for his Lord, but he couldn't live anymore in the safety of the castle, if the price was committing indiscriminate murder for the sake of a senseless revenge, going against his morals and being used as a weapon. Hector had to make a choice: keep living under Lord Dracula's protection, but losing his humanity piece by piece, or breaking free and facing the world that hated him, but as a free man?

Hector chose freedom over conditional safety and love. He was ready to die, as long as he died a free man. He put himself first, he turned his back against people who did not truly appreciate him, and despite the mess he left behind it was the right decision. And that's the power fantasy I adore, and that is what makes him a strong character in my opinion. It's the embodiment of achieving self-confidence, the healthy selfishness, the affirmation of the self when everyone else around you only sees you as an object or a prize, the reassurance that even if you fall, you can always get up and try again and become a person you can be proud of.

And Hector, after breaking free, very much acts like a victim of abuse. I spent countless words over how he displays the belief that he needs to do something to earn the right to be loved by Rosaly, unaccepting of the fact that she simply does because, well, he likes him and sees the good in him, and that's it. I wrote a whole analysis on how this belief stems from a sad naiveté on how the world works, because Hector is naive underneath the aloof exterior, and it's not something to make fun of him for, but a tragic result of living under Dracula for so long. I'll also point again to him having breakdowns because he hates himself and sees himself as inherently unlovable.

I could also spend all the words about the parallels about how Hector loves Dracula and how he loves Rosaly:

In both cases, he latches onto the only person who has showed him a modicum of kindness. He wants to give his life for them. The difference being, of course, that Dracula only appreciates Hector for what he does (and I could also go into a whole tangent on how Hector was personally raised by Dracula to be his knight and he has a piece of his essence inside him which parallels how abusive parents see their children as an extension of themselves), while Rosaly for who he is. With Dracula, Hector understands that all the shallow care in the world doesn't matter if he isn't also respected as a person: he still cares about him, in some fashion, but not the point of clinging.

And if Hector is ready to lay down his life for Rosaly because she finally showed him what real love looks like, is it any wonder that seeing her die would spark such a fury in him that it makes him prey to the Curse and to being once again twisted into a tool?

The power fantasy comes from the part where Hector breaks free of the abuse and manipulation - twice over. But he is also relatable, with all of his flaws, weaknesses, and mistakes he makes. The whole point of Hector's journey in the first half of his story is that he feels the need to atone for his sins, and the consequences of his actions all catch up to him in the worst of ways. Ignoring this to reduce Hector to an edgelord who only spends his life angry and then hooks up with a Rosaly replacement (which incidentally also ignores Julia's personality and agency and I might even call as misogynist as the plot point itself) is a huge disservice to the thought and care put into him to make him stand out from his own archetype.

Power fantasies are not inherently bad. Depending on the fantasy, they can be inspirational. Hector is inspirational to me, if that wasn't clear, I see part of me in his circumstances and I admire his arc: it tells you, "you can break free too, you have the strength to do so, and you will find people who will love you without reason". And I just generally speaking find him a very well written character despite stemming from a rather outdated context, because all the details come together to make him fleshed out and tridimensional.

[stainedglassthreads]

A lot of people seem to think Neuvillette and Furina's relationship is just 'Zhongli and Hu Tao 2.0'. But personally I think that's an oversimplification. Because while Zhongli and Hu Tao are very funny, there's just something so. Simultaneously strained yet tender about what Nuevillette and Furina have going on?

I will admit, I haven't played Nuevillette's Character Quest just yet. But Neuvillette's IS a really complex and faceted character so far, as is Furina. Neuvillette comes off as extremely stoic and impartial, but as we've found out by now, he's a character who cares deeply about others, especially the Melusines. At the same time, he's also the Dragon Sovereign of Water. He wants to someday have his revenge against Celestia, but that's an extremely long-term goal. So being a Dragon and an Immortal, we know that he's very patient, and not prone to rage or impulsive behaviors. He's very driven by a sense of duty to Fontaine, as well.

Despite having a grudge against Celestia, we don't exactly know much of his thoughts on the Archons, as a whole or as individuals. I don't know if he hates the Archons at all, actually. Apep doesn't seem to like them, and Orobashi seemed completely ambivalent to them. However, Dvalin and Azhdaha gladly worked alongside Venti and Zhongli for a very long time. Even now, Dvalin doesn't mind helping Venti and Mondstadt somehow, while a part of Azhdaha deliberately sought out Zhongli to help keep the rest of them contained.

As such, I don't think Neuvillette secrets resents Furina or anything. But there's very much a...'I am doing the minimum of what must be done to keep Lady Furina content, but neither of us need to indulge her aside from that'. He also seems to spend a while keeping her 'in check', at least before the Traveler shows up. As an example of the former, he points out to the Traveler that Furina's been waiting for them to notice her, but tells them after that that they don't need to give her any more attention. He also repeatedly asks Furina at different times if she really, genuinely means an accusation she's making, allowing her opportunities to back out and de-escalate. (Even if Furina is prideful to the point she doesn't actually de-escalate, it does remind her of how, as Hydro Archon apparent, her accusations have immense weight. Especially for something like a murder accusation.)

At the same time, though, he does look out for her. I saw a great post where it was pointed out, even if Furina was unwilling to confess that Arlecchino had tried assassinating her, he notices that something was wrong, and accompanies her anyways. Even when the Primordial Sea is about to burst forth, he takes a moment to ask the Traveler to not leave Furina alone with Arlecchino.

Neuvillette may not like Celestia, but he's either willing to work alongside Furina, even if she's not the easiest Archon to like or collaborate with. Considering what we know of Fontaine's government system, and how the people view the Hydro Archon versus the Iudex, at this time I don't think it's a case of 'I need her to lend my decrees and judgements an air of legitimacy'. Considering how Inazuma and Sumeru acted for some time, and Zhongli's recent retirement, I don't think even Celestia would act if Neuvillette more officially declared himself Fontaine's leader and pressured Furina into stepping down. So at the very least, even if he doesn't really respect Furina, I think he at least feels a responsibility to her.

That's one different from Zhongli and Hu Tao's dynamic, I think. Hu Tao isn't just the boss of Wangsheng Funeral Parlor in name only--for all her eccentricities, she takes funerals VERY seriously, and is very...enthusiastic...about expanding their business. Meanwhile Furina doesn't appear to take her duties very seriously until the Traveler shows up, while Neuvillette and the Oratrice seem to be the main thing keeping Fontaine running.

Furina, meanwhile, seems a lot more obvious about how much she cares for Neuvillette. I do believe Furina really takes Neuvillette for granted in some sense, since she does leave presiding over trials and generally running what should be her country to him But while they outwardly seem mutually annoyed by each other, Furina takes notice and realizes things are serious when Neuvillette checks her with his 'are you SURE you want to press these accusations' things, she turns to him for protection when she feels scared and threatened by Arlecchino, and in Neuvillette's Character Quest she seems happy that he gets out of his office for a day, (I'm assuming) showing that she's fully aware he feels a lot under his stoic facade, and she cares for her happiness. (Again, I haven't actually played the quest, but I care little for spoilers. Sue me.)

I don't think anyone could blame them for disliking each other. But saying that they 'just disliked each other' or 'just like each other' would be a superficial reading, I think. We don't know how much Furina knows about Neuvillette and his feelings for Celestia and the Archons. But I think she legitimately trusts, respects, and cares about him more than anyone, even if she's not always the most grateful. And I think that adds more to the way she acts and makes her a more complex character. Likewise, we've already seen Neuvillette's caring side with the Melusines, but the Melusines are legitimately really sweet and earnest and easy to love. Furina's presence further highlights his sense of duty and responsibility, and how sensitive and compassionate he can be, I think. If it does turn out he wants vengeance against the Archons too, then being able to treat Furina so well when it counts shows off those sides of his personality more, I think.

tl;dr An event where all the Archons get to chat together would be amazing. But you know what would be phenomenal? Dragon Sovereign Family Reunion. Traveler needs to find a location large enough for Dvalin, Azhdaha, Apep, and Neuvillette to have a picnic together.

[shiroandblack]

An unsolicited thought-vomit on the manhwa; A Stepmother's Märchen.

I love it. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

This is one of those rare manhwas where the art is as excellent as the storyline. I will be approaching this as someone who has only read the manhwa and not the novel.

Some criticism I've heard of is that it's too heavy for some people and that it's slow at the beginning. I honestly think that's mostly because the political intrigue is a main plot instead of a side-quest to the romance. So at the beginning, the author and artist was definitely laying down the seeds for all of the things currently happening in the manga. The political intrigue is well done as well, it's not everyone vying for power like in asoiaf but a certain group of people who would definitely benefit from gaining more power like Theobald, the Crown Prince, and the Church (Cardinal Richelieu).

It's also addresses class difference through Nora and his friends. Nora as the highest of nobility is very privileged in terms of material wealth and social status compared to his friends who are humble townspeople. Nora himself has genuine care and relationships with them and while not "relatable" they can get on easily. This all comes to a head when they decide to go to Nora's house (more like castle) and that's when they're fully confronted by the fact that Nora is not like them at all. I completely understand the bitterness of one of his friends (the blond one) when he decided to end their friendship, because he has a point. The defense from the other friends that Nora's grandfather and father are heroes who fought valiantly in a war, is contrasted by Blondie's (I'm sorry, I can't remember his name) remark that his father fought valiantly in the war too, his father gave up his profession and livelihood and came back with an injury that debilitated his ability to do things like before. And where is the appreciation for that? Compared to Nora's family who are lauded as heroes and probably received things like land/titles from the emperor simply because they are nobility. Nora is angered when Albrecht (his father) tells him about the confrontation with his friends, to which Albrecht says that he shouldn't be hanging out with them in the first place. In the perspective of his friends, it's frankly insulting for Nora to wear less-fine clothes and hang around them (pretending to be them in a way) even though Nora has always been honest about his identity as a noble to them but they have never been confronted with that reality until they visited Nuremberg Castle.

The fact that Shuri time-traveled seems to be more of a sidenote than something of actual relevance. By relevance, I mean to say that she died horribly in her first life but she isn't really looking for revenge. She's looking to secure the Neuchwanstein kids' futures and also she genuinely wants a bond with them that she didn't have in her first life because ultimately, Shuri wants to love and to be loved. As much as I love villainess manhwa, I also love manhwa where the characters just want to happily live their lives.

Speaking of happily living their lives, I've seen Ohara getting hate for wanting to marry Jeremy for power/security. I think as a child who witnessed her mother being the love of her father's life, only to be discarded when her beauty waned to the point she died alone in her rooms affected her very deeply of course. Her mother straight up tells Ohara to not marry for love but for security, because love can fade but her title as the lady of the house will never and she's basically set for life and won't be as hurt as her mother was when her husband's love eventually fades. Ohara's dislike for Shuri at first is because of the power Shuri seems to hold over Jeremy. Ohara doesn't need to be the number one woman in Jeremy's life, she only requires him to treat her as such so she will not be degraded or belittled like her mother was. Her father seems to be very open with his affairs, considering one of his mistresses made the decision to 'introduce' herself to Ohara in a very public ball with the intention to humiliate her. Ohara doesn't want her or her marriage to be the subject of public scrutiny and while Jeremy's affection for Shuri in their first life was not obvious I think to the casual viewer, Ohara as someone who knows Jeremy and his ticks could probably see that easily. Her request for Shuri not to attend the wedding in their first life was a way for her to guarantee that they will appear as the 'perfect' couple in the eyes of society, because then Jeremy won't be distracted by Shuri. Also, the blame put on her because Shuri was murdered because she didn't come to the wedding is mind-blowing. Ohara was a 16/18 year old young woman trying to secure herself, she didn't plan Shuri's murder or something. In their first life, Shuri was going to get murdered either way whether she went to the wedding or not because the Church decided they were going to kill her and nothing Ohara said/did was ever going to change that because this 16/18 year old girl was not in on the plot to get Shuri killed at all.

I also really enjoyed the way the romance was written. I personally do not think that Jeremy's feelings for Shuri are not incestuous as Shuri is only 2 years older than him and she has never tried to position herself as a mother to him despite being his stepmother. As for the sibling incest vibes? Shuri considers Jeremy as something of a younger brother, but I don't think Jeremy has ever considered Shuri as his older sister/sister. One might argue that it's because he calls her 'sister', but in a lot of cultures (including my own) a girl who is older than you but with not much of an age gap between you guys, whether you are related to her or not is called 'sister/elder sister'. This is why Nora, who Shuri very much has romantic feelings for, also calls her 'sister' at least in the translations I have read.

Theobald's feelings for Shuri on the other hand? Now that's some mommy issues right there. I could go on about this boy, but I'm not going to because he deserves his own post. I'm not unpacking that can of worms just yet because then I'll have to unpack the can of worms that is Ludovica.

Honestly, I can't wait for the second season and for me to binge it.

[muninnhuginn]

ship game: gideon/harrow, mizu/taigen

Thanks for asking! Questions are from here. You chose two tricky ones ngl (by which I mean I'm staring at the "ship it" vs. "don't ship it" like I'm the staring at a red button meme). Okay, let's do it like this.

Griddlehark

What made you ship it?

Sth sth mutually repressed duo who are the only ones to understand specific truths about the other whilst being completely on different pages about near everything else. Clearly into each other and willing to sacrifice themselves for each other, but due to miscommunication their attempts to "atone" are taken as rejections. They pull the same trick on each other as a way to show their devotion and if it's *themselves* then they get it but if it's the other person suddenly it's "I do not see". It makes you want to bang your head in, but that's why it's so wonderfully human

What are your favorite things about the ship?

How far they can take the denial whilst doing the most insane things for each other? Harrow's religious-flavoured glasses colouring all her relationships vs. Gideon's lack of faith translating to her holding loyalty to the only one she can. There's no real pedestal to break because neither worship each other (far from it) but they devote themselves all the same.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

This is pretty subjective, but whilst I logically know Gideon is just as gone for Harrow (perhaps more because she's not there pining after The Body) and can point to specific moments that show so clearly, I do sometimes I struggle a bit to really *get it* from her end.

I think some of it is that a lot of Gideon's attraction (not just to Harrow but in general) is focused on looks, but she spends so much of her time commentating on Harrow describing how bedraggled she is. So, like, I know it's her actions that largely give her away and there is still plenty of homoeroticism (hi pool scene though ig that's also more intimate than anything), but I find Harrow's side a lot easier to understand. Weirdly, Harrow being more calculating makes her much easier to see through whilst Gideon's whole Gideonness obscures things for me. And that's part of why I found it took me so long to properly get behind the ship in the first book. The grand gestures don't show themselves until later on so for a long while I was just there like "do you even like each other?" (The answer to that is complicated)

Mizutaigen

Why don’t you ship it?

Mizutaigen alone is kinda... homoerotic rivalry flavoured. Which typically I'll make jokes about (hi dihua), but not seriously ship unless there's something extra added. It does amuse me that Taigen is highkey obsessed with Mizu whilst she spends so much of the time too tied up in her revenge quest to really care about that. But yeah, the Mizutaigen angle on its own is pretty basic so I'm not particularly invested in it beyond its comedic value.

What would have made you like it?

Adding Akemi to the mixture. By which I mean, I *do* ship mizutaigen but purely when Akemi is also involved. Without her, it's incomplete. But when you bring her in you get so much added thematic value. It's been a while since I watched so I'm struggling to think of a good example here, but all three of them echo into each other. Which is summed up by the plot-relevant porn scene with these vibes:

Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

Taigen sucks and Mizu also sucks but in a different way. To get the maximum possible suck...age? Add Akemi.

[put-me-out-of-my-destiny]

Spoilers for God Of War Ragnarök and its DLC, Valhalla, below.

I've considered before that of everyone in DMC, Vergil would fit in the best for a God Of War crossover. Not just because his shunning of modern weaponry would make him the least strange to the GoW cast, but also because he and Kratos have a lot in common. They're both extremely powerful individuals who've indirectly caused the deaths of countless innocent people due to a selfish quest, for power and revenge respectively.

The recent DLC has me thinking of this again. Given Týr's generally good nature, it wouldn't be so strange for him to reach out to a stranger from an unfamiliar realm and help him master himself with the aid of Valhalla.

The logistics of it are another matter. I think if the DMC universe even existed within GoW's multiverse sort-of-deal, I'd more easily imagine Sparda's conflict with Mundus being contemporary with the events of the GoW games than anything involving Dante and company, but that's beside the point.

Of course, Valhalla would look very different to Vergil than it did to Kratos. For the latter, it took the form of the nine realms he now calls home, then later the homeland he left behind. Like Kratos, Vergil would probably see places relevant to his own life: his childhood home, Fortuna, the Temen-Ni-Gru, the Underworld, Mallet Island, Redgrave City, and the Qliphoth.

Valhalla may take on a more Norse appearance when Vergil fights enemies chosen by Valhalla rather than ones from his own memories. Speaking of whom, those would definitely include Beowulf, Arkham (in some form), Mundus, Nidhog (not to be confused with the similarly named creature in Ragnarök), Elder Geryon Knight, and Dante. Lady and Trish could appear as well, since he fought them when he was Urizen, and perhaps Nero would too. Of course, Týr would want a piece of Vergil as well, and due to his longer life and greater experience, would probably give Vergil a significant challenge.

I'm certain Malphas would also appear in some way, but not necessarily as a boss. She was hostile toward V, but she served Urizen, so her role may not be entirely hostile. Speaking of allies, I'd imagine Griffon, Shadow, Nightmare, and perhaps even Phantom would appear for similar reasons. Their status as memories alone may be ambiguous, since they originated from Vergil's memories to begin with. His time in Valhalla may present an opportunity to really process said memories (as opposed to the demonic manifestations of them being murdered in a scene Vergil isn't even in 😒).

Also like Kratos, I imagine Vergil's journey would culminate in a confrontation with himself. But while Kratos only had one stage of his life to confront, Vergil has worn many hats. His younger self who joined Arkham to open a portal to the Underworld and claim Sparda's power, the black knight who completely lost his free will, the demon king who had completely given up his humanity, and the fragile human who risked it all to right his wrong. Plus, Kratos had already come a long way by the beginning of the DLC, while Vergil has only just realized that maybe jeopardizing innocent lives in the pursuit of power isn't such a good idea. Týr has his work cut out for him.

I've also been thinking about how Vergil would play in a God Of War game, and I think his moveset would translate rather well.

I think of all the elements in the game, Yamato's would be Bifröst. The purple-blue color fits better than any other, and the energy's association with realm travel could be connected to Yamato's portal-opening powers. It's basic attacks would apply Bifröst status, which can then be detonated with a Judgement Cut (probably done by pressing the triangle button).

Given Judgement Cut being on triangle, and Beowulf having no ranged abilities at all (save for Dante's fireball from DMC3), it's hard to imagine what Vergil's ranged attacks would be. Summoned Swords would make sense, but I think those would be better placed on the square button, like Atreus's arrows, because they're meant to be used without interrupting Vergil's animations. I also think moves like Drive and Round Trip would work better as Runic Attacks. So, I think it would be best to emphasize Vergil's skills as a close-ranged fighter, and use the ranged controls to implement his teleportation abilities.

As for Beowulf, light is an element the player can use in God Of War (2018), as it's the first arrow element Atreus gets. And much like Kratos's bare-handed attacks, they are useful for applying Stun status, so that's likely what Beowulf would do to. Also, some enemies who wield light can use it to temporarily "blind" Kratos, so maybe Beowulf can do something similar to enemies.

If Kratos deals damage while avoiding hits for long enough, he can activate Permafrost, Immolation, or Malestrom by pressing L1 and triangle, buffing the melee attacks of his currently equipped weapon. I think Vergil would use Judgement Cut End in place of this, because avoiding damage is precisely the prerequisite to use that move in DMC.

On a final note, I think it would be cool if Vergil's stun grabs took inspiration from V's finishing moves.

[i-did-not-mean-to]

Y - Yearning

For @lathalea. With a special mention of @scyllas-revenge's cat :D

Words: 1,1k

Pairing: Boromir x OC

Warnings: Boromir is not doing so well...

Boromir reread his letter for the 40th time—already, the paper was worn thin by his fingers in some spots and the creases of the repeated folding and unfolding had marred the once beautifully smooth paper.

He knew that he could have asked his younger brother for help, but his pride didn’t allow him to admit his doubts and insecurities openly—especially not to that smug scholar.

Faramir, of course, was now married to the Lady Éowyn and, thus, he was perpetually gleaming with happiness and self-satisfaction.

It was not that Boromir resented his brother for having found his well-deserved bliss, but he was also not eager to lay out his own shortcomings before one who was undeniably winning at life.

The mere idea that Faramir could pity him made him cringe and he forced his eyes to return to his truly unfortunate letter.

He had not been feeling this out of his depth for many years—once upon a time, he had suffered a great deal under the fact that his brother and their father shared a good many character traits and habits, and he had ever had the sensation that he was an outsider in his own family.

In times of war, his nature and hard-won skillset were exceptionally useful assets but in this period of the strenuous aftermath of a world-changing battle, he felt at a loss again.

If only he had paid better attention to his tutors, droning on and on about grammar, syntax, and poetry. Back in those days, all Boromir had been able to think about was martial and military prowess—and the safety of his realm in the face of the growing darkness.

He had done well, he told himself comfortingly; he had played his part in the victory of the free people against their terrible foe!

Even though he was ashamed of it, he had to admit that a part of him had not expected to return from that quest and, sometimes, he wondered dejectedly if it would not have been for the better if he had died a hero’s death far from Gondor.

His country needed a strong leader—a man both wise and temperate—and Boromir suspected that his gentle, intelligent brother would have been better suited to the role of steward in times of peace than he ever could.

Especially because King Elessar’s decision not to abolish their hereditary title meant that Boromir was to find a wife.

In order to achieve this—in the absence of his father and due to his petty refusal to ask his brother for help—Boromir would have to locate, woo, and win a lady of good standing on his own.

Finding one he would have died a thousand times over to call his had not been nearly as hard as he had expected it to be, but this made the subsequent steps all the more gruelling.

How could he possibly delude himself into believing that a woman like her—beautiful, well-bred, witty, and charming—would ever consider someone as uncouth as him as a romantic partner?

It was an extraordinarily stroke of bad luck that the lady who had utterly bewitched Boromir had told him explicitly that she would never marry for wealth or station.

“Only a true love match will sway me,” she had claimed with a wicked twinkle in her eyes.

Boromir had to admit that he had reacted rather haughtily to that statement, believing that she was insinuating—oh, it had been his hurt pride and fragile heart speaking—that he could only win over a lady by dangling his title in her face.

It was hopeless—he was doomed.

Again, he cursed himself for not having developed and cultivated his courtly manners more, because—as he perused his clumsy letter obsessively—he realised that his words didn’t even sound convincing to him, even though he had written them straight from the heart.

The tingling of a tiny bell—announcing the arrival of an unexpected but certainly not unwelcome friend—tore him out of his dark thoughts.

“Buisine,” Boromir called and, as he was completely and woefully alone, he even made little kissing noises at the animal to draw it closer. “Your mistress must be very worried about you!”

Jumping on the exceedingly comfortable-looking lap of the famed hero, the feline visitor rubbed his furry head against Boromir’s equally hairy chin in a wordless expression of support.

“Maybe I should let you walk over a fresh sheet of paper,” Boromir cooed at the cat. “I am sure that your inky pawprints could not be significantly less eloquent than whatever gibberish I have come up with.”

Buisine blinked slowly up at Boromir, inviting pets and purring encouragingly.

“If only your mistress was as easily charmed by me as you are,” Boromir chuckled as his rough, calloused fingers slid through the silken, elegantly striped fur of the stately animal.

The cat had taken to him instantly and they had been fast friends ever since the day Boromir had found it pawing at a clump of insects.

“I have food,” Boromir went on musing aloud, “and hands to hold and to caress. That is enough for you, but…What does it say about me that it seems so easy to me to confess all my grievances to you when I swallow my tongue as soon as I find myself in your lady’s presence?”

After accepting the strip of dried meat Boromir offered him, the rotund tomcat started cleaning himself on his lap; it was a calming situation and, slowly, Boromir’s nerves settled.

What was the worst thing that could happen? He’d simply send his awkward letter and hope for the best—if she was dissatisfied with it, he would at least get the chance to explain himself to her in person without having to bring up the subject without prelude.

“Buisine?” a melodious, distinctly female voice resounded. “Here, kitty, kitty, kitty!”

Stretching out across Boromir’s thighs, the treacherous feline gave a loud, plaintive call.

“Traitor,” Boromir hissed and—for a second—it seemed to him that the cat was laughing at the sudden nervous flutter in his heart, betrayed by entirely unnecessary fidgeting with the straps and fastenings of his coat.

“Oh…there you are. My Lord Boromir,” the object of all his desires said, clearly taken aback, “you must not let him badger you so! Come here, you naughty bugger.”

Her eyes fell on the partially folded letter. “What have we here? Are you penning letters together?”

“Yes,” Boromir admitted dryly. “Buisine is helping me find the right words.”

“I sincerely doubt that, with all due respect,” she replied—amusement dancing in her eyes—and sat down by his side. “I could take a look though.”

Buisine gave a loud purr before curling up again, evidently considering that this was a job well done.

@fellowshipofthefics here's my second entry for the April Alphabet.

Special thanks to @lathalea (a great author, go check her out) for the request and to @scyllas-revenge for letting me borrow her cat (another great author, Scylla...not the cat).

Lots of love from me...

Tomorrow...Gondolin OT3

-> Masterlist

[giantchasm]

Random Kirby Headcanon #5

Zan Partizanne was 14 when she first met Hyness. She came from a very, very abusive home and as a result tried to take her own life via lightning strike; however the priest found and saved her.

Initially, he had no plans to take her in, but when he heard her story and realized she had practically nowhere to go he offered to let her come with. Hesitantly, she accepted. At the time she did not trust him at all, but it was a better option than the alternative.

It took her a long time to start trusting him… trusting anyone, but seeing as how this was back before he was completely consumed by his hate, Hyness was very patient with her. He didn’t really understand what he was doing— he never intended to become a parent, and so he was a little bit awkward, but he tried his best to support her and offer her comfort, even when she was deeply suspicious and even afraid of him.

Eventually, she warmed up. Slowly, he coaxed her out of her shell and she realized all adults weren’t bad. After that, she became very, VERY attached to him, and very dedicated to Void, who he taught her about as well.

Once she asked him, crying, that if Void loved her why it let people hurt her. Hyness said it was only because it was sealed away and couldn’t protect her. Surely when it was freed it would make everyone who ever hurt her pay.

He found Flamberge about six months after he met Zan and on complete accident. He’d been researching something to do with Void (as he had been doing when he found all of then) when he stumbled upon a burning home and heard screaming inside. He rushed in to help, but by the time he extinguished the fire it was more or less too late. All of the family inside was dead.

Or… well, everyone except for one little girl. She was eight and on the brink of death. When saved, she was terrified and heartbroken, having been very close to her family.

Hyness took her in afterwards, as she also had nowhere to go, but she was distant with him at first as well. She had no interest in bonding with him or Zan at all, and often acted out in anger and grief. She said a lot of cruel things to them and spent most of her time alone.

Everything changed, though, when three months later Francisca came into the picture. Zan poked her head into Flamberge’s room and told her to come see something. Flamberge had no interest, but when Zan hissed it was “important” she grumpily relented.

Zan led her to Hyness, who was kneeling down to comfort someone— a crying child who could’t have been older than three. He was telling her that everything would be alright… that she was safe now.

She’d been found alone, half dead in a blizzard. To this day, no-one knows if her family left her there deliberately or if she was merely separated from them. Francisca herself has no recollection of the incident or her life before her induction into the cult in general.

Flambege was… shaken by the appearance of the young child. Still not trusting Hyness or Zan at the time, she was terrified they’d hurt the poor girl. And so it was then she made a vow. She’d protect Francisca and make sure nothing bad happened to her. Just like her family (including two big sisters) did for her when they were alive.

Of course, being eight years old and all, she wasn’t actually able to care for Francisca much. She was fiercely protective of her and kept her company, but it was Zan Partizanne and Hyness who took care of the majority of her needs as well as taught her to harness her magic. Because of this, cautiously, Flamberge began to warm up. She realized that they sincerely loved Francisca and wanted the best for her, and that they must have wanted that for her too.

It took her a long time to consider them family, but she does nowadays. She wishes they could have gotten to meet everyone else.

For a time, things went well for the four of them, but inevitably things took a dark turn. In his quest to summon Void and get revenge on the world that had exiled his people, Hyness was swallowed by the hatred in his heart. He began to act more and more erratic as well as care less about the Mage Sisters. By the time Francisca and Flamberge were young adults (and Zan was a little bit older), there was a lot of strife between them.

Zan was still fiercely dedicated to Hyness, and would do anything he said regardless of how terribly he treated her. Flamberge, in contrast, was frustrated by it and would argue with her a lot. Francisca honestly barely knew how to feel. After all, this was the only life she’d ever known. It’s not like she could just leave.

She and Flamberge definitely drifted away from Zan during this time. They’d always been codependent and had a special bond with each other they didn’t quite share with her, but now there was a deliberate air of avoiding and resenting her.

After Heroes in Another Dimension, the Mages began working on repairing their relationship with both each other and their father. It’s been a long, complicated process, but they’re making progress. Slowly but surely Zan is bridging the gap that formed between her and her sisters and Flamberge is learning to trust Hyness again.

He really sincerely feels bad for the way he treated the three of them. He loves them a lot and is trying his very best to make it up to them for what he did when he was in the throes of madness.

A very long time ago, before all of this went down, he used to call them “miracles that Void sent him” since he found all three of them while researching the dark god.

Nowadays, he just calls them “his miracles,” no Void necessary.

[konoa-t]

For whoever you want:

Ghost

Heartbreak

Alone

Break

Failure

Yipepepeee!! I’ll do Dawn, Jamie, and Ackley (still brainrotting) (it never ends help)

[TW: Mentions of abuse & torture, trauma, manipulation, intimate partner violence, animal abuse, proxy murder]

Small note: any mentions of “Chima” is referring to Chimamanda, the General of the knight colony.

Ghost - While there arent any physical entities that haunt my OCs, they are most definitely haunted by their pasts. For example, Dawn’s trauma from being physically, mentally, and verbally abused by her sisters is something that tends to interfere with her life at times. There will be moments in which she is too terrified to even get out of bed, and Jamie will normally have to take measure to comfort her and reassure her shes safe.

Jamie is haunted by her adoptive parents’ unrealistic expectations of her. They expected HER to be the general, and when they found out she was only a commander that was also part of the elite unit, they expressed their disappointment and stopped talking to her for a few days. She’s stopped caring about what they think, but it still hurts knowing that the people who are supposed to love you unconditionally are setting bars that are too high for anyone to reach. Jamie also does experience a form of insecurity about her abilities because of this, which is why she shows off a lot in her fighting.

Ackley is haunted by a couple things, the most severe of these being Metus sawing off part of his wing. He will never forgive Metus for what he put him through and to this day is on a hellbent quest for revenge. He still has nightmares about what happened.

Heartbreak - Dawn doesn’t have much relationship experience (in fact, Jamie is her first partner!) so she hasn’t dealt with breakups or anything like that. She has accidentally misunderstood Jamie’s acts of chivalry as flirting with other people before, but this got cleared up pretty quickly.

Jamie has had a few girlfriends in the past, with most of them ending on good or alright terms. The worst breakup she’s had, though, is when an ex girlfriend of hers had tried to gaslight her friends into turning against Jamie when she attempted to break up with her. Of course, she picked the wrong girl to do this with, because all it did was piss Jamie off and make her leave faster, ditching the friends who sided with the ex in the process. She’s also experienced other forms of heartbreak, such as being rejected by one of her previous crushes.

Ackley has lived a life of heartbreak; He is a lover of all but loved by none. There have been countless times in which his love ended up being unrequited, to the point that he’s gotten used to the feeling of rejection. Of the people who HAVE returned his feelings, only about a handful of them ended well. One person he was dating broke up with him because they were just “experimenting” and decided that they didn’t like men (note that Ackley was NOT aware of this and was told that they loved him too). Another partner he had would berate him for very trivial matters, eventually resulting in the two of them breaking up in a fit of anger towards each other.

Alone - Dawn does not handle loneliness well… She hates being alone, even for a second. All through her childhood she has been completely isolated, so she never really wants to experience that again. When Dawn does find herself alone, she often will try to find someone else to be around or just huddle up by herself in some corner.

Jamie is fine with loneliness, but being alone does bore her after a bit. Sometimes she’ll have to help Chima out with her paperwork (or do her own), so she’s quite used to being alone for long periods of time. When no one else is around, Jamie often just hums to herself or fidgets with stuff that’s around her.

Ackley is usually lonely, so I’d say he handles it well. He has been completely alone before, and sometimes he’s fine with it. When no one else is around, he’ll often just be quiet and do whatever he wants, like reading or watching TV.

Break - Something that would cause Dawn to break down completely is if she had to go back to where her siblings lived. She hates them and would rather die than go back to them, so if someone forced her back I could see her mind snapping. When she has breakdowns, it’s usually her just curling up and crying. Jamie has seen her like this quite a few times, and always tried to comfort her if that’s what she wants. Other times, she just wants to be left alone, which Jamie will respect.

Jamie would probably break down if someone killed Dawn. If an event like that were to occur, she would be inconsolable. Jamie is a bit of a violent person, so she would probably end up trying to cut anything around her once she snaps. There would be a lot of screaming and yelling…. And things breaking. So far, only the other elite knights and Dawn have seen Jamie at her worst.

An even that could cause Ackley to break down is if someone or something were to render him absolutely powerless in the face of fate. Something that would force him to lower his defenses and accept the horrifying reality of his current situation, that situation being anything ranging from the death of his friends to having to witness death and catastrophe at his hands (assuming he’s being controlled by someone else or something like that). If he were to get into this state, I could see him just becoming really sullen and depressed, not wanting to talk to anyone. He would definitely become more reclusive, as he would be under the constant fear of hurting others. Ackley often tries to mask his sadness or lower points, but Syth is the one person who does a pretty good job at seeing through this ruse. Therefore, the only person to have witnessed Ackley at his worst is Syth.

Failure - Though most would not view this as a “failure” on her part, Dawn personally thinks that her biggest failure is when she allowed a poor bird to be crushed by one of her sisters. She had taken an injured bird into her care when she found it outside of her window, feeding it and nursing it back to health. Dawn’s sisters found out about the bird one day and screamed at her for letting “filthy creatures” into their home. Her eldest sister then took the bird and squeezed it until it no longer drew breath, something that stuck with Dawn for the rest of her life. To this day, Dawn has not forgiven herself for what happened to the bird, but anyone who knows about it usually tries to tell her that it wasn’t her fault. Most of her friends know about this.

Jamie’s greatest failure is when she was negligent and burned the female barracks down. She was being stupid and messing around with a blowtorch when she set the carpet on fire. She’s moved past it herself, but all of the other soldiers try to ensure that she doesn’t have access to blowtorches anymore. Chima was obviously not happy with this and chewed Jamie out for it. She also had to do a week of community service for it. The entire colony knows of Jamie’s screw up, unfortunately.

Ackley’s biggest failure is when he killed one of his old friends in an attempt to save his own life (this was prior to the colony era). When he was in his teen years, he and another mercenary he teamed up with went to an underground palace to satisfy a contract that required them to kill the king of this palace. He went down and things were going well until they finally reached the king. They were severely outmatched in terms of power, with the king almost wiping them both out. Before the finishing blow, the king asked Ackley that he could choose to live and sacrifice his friend, or spare his friend’s life in exchange for his own. Terrified, Ackley chose his own life, thus betraying his friend and allowing him to be killed. The king told him to run and never come back, which he did. Ackley never returned to the man who gave him the contract either. He simply just picked up his things and left. While Ackley acknowledges that he was just an arrogant kid, he still has a hard time forgiving himself for what he did, and from that day forward vowed to never betray another soul. No one else currently knows about this; it’s his dark secret.

[jay-j-otter]

hey hey, do you mind sharing your akiyama headcanons? just saw ur tags talking abt how theyre dark and im very interested!!!! your fem ryuaki fuels me in ways i cannot describe and i havent even played dead souls FHKGJG and your tanimuras have my whole entire heart!!!

Oh wow first of all THANK YOU for the ask!! It's been only couple days since I've discovered I've had them disabled all this time so I'm very happy I noticed it before you found my blog (,:

I've already complained a bit on twt that when I've started to write down ryuaki headcanons, it prompted me to make a 35+ pages google doc with meta on both of them 😅 It pushed me to write more fun drafts tho, so all is well, but it won't fit in this post for sure ahbfght

But ofc, I will share a little about Shun specifically. (TW for implied SA)

Akiyama... I have complicated feelings about him, because on the one hand, he got betrayed by his closest people, lost all the standing in society and lived as a homeless person for a long time, and that's a big trauma to have. But on the other... He's got back up by a miracle, and now he's trying to recreate the miracle for others. He assumes the role of a judge for other people while himself being too young, too flawed, having black and white morals.

(In Y4 I downright despised Akiyama when he refused a loan to an abused woman on the basis that she didn't want to apply for sex work, but in the same substory gave some cringefail guy 4 chances to complete the test just because it was amusing.)

But I've just completed Y5, and it gave me lots of food for thought.

First of all, from what I see, Shun here was written (rewritten?) as a more sympathetic character. For example, now when it's implied that he's gonna make some woman "use her body" for the loan, it means he's sending her to work on the construction site. Well, alright. I'll take the bad taste joke over previous cases.

There's also an important quest when Akiyama meets his former boss, who not only initially fired him on false accusations, which started his downfall, but also married his ex-fiancée. And Akiyama finally admits that at first, he wanted to use his position as a loan shark to be selfish and to get revenge, but got disgusted with himself after seeing some humanity and principles in the former boss.

So, here finally comes self-awareness about his actions. Interesting tidbit.

Another big part of the character building we see now: when he is alone in Osaka, without Hana around, he's a complete mess. His new office is dirty, he barely eats some instant ramen and clearly just uses the place to escape Tokyo and the responsibilities he created himself. If in Y4 we saw him within his element, managing Elise and doing loan business (with a messy table because he's just soooo quirky and lazyyy \s), then in Y5 we get to see a bit of what's inside his head. And it's not pretty.

He's clearly distancing himself - from Hana and his new yakuza friends, because they have their own lives to care about. (Tanimura too mayhaps, but this is a separate friendship that I also like to talk about a lot)

Aaand he escapes to his ugly nook to have his ugly depressive thoughts. Can't let them witness it, can he? They'd lose all the respect for him.

At the same time, he throws himself into helping Haruka with passion, because that's the thing he actually cares about, for the first time in a couple years. (He also provides her with some much-needed parenting about the importance of being selfish, because, being raised by Kiryu, she's entirely too self-sacrificing.)

And suddenly - he's lively and energetic again, he's bouncing off other characters, he risks his life for what he deems right, he's helpful, organizing, charming. He's everywhere.

(But he's also afraid to acknowledge that he's got too close to people again. So he's ready to literally die for them and Haruka's dream, but avoids calling them friends, settling for "acquaintances")

Not much needed to imagine that, after everything settles down, he falls apart again. Because in his head he's never really needed or too important for the people around. They carry on with their life and plans. Such as Eri, Arai, Yasuko. Even Hana got fed up and left at some point, and has been keeping him at an arm's length since. (Good for her, that was unhealthy)

He's not only not that interesting, his trauma is "ugly" (by his self-admission). It's not heroic and it's very mundane. There's no clear villains to blame, like with Majima's torture in Y0.

It's just - waking up is hard. Akiyama can't see the point in much of what he's doing anymore. Money is just paper for him now, they might have bought him the freedom of choice, but somehow it didn't help. Even with all the financial help to struggling people he can't buy healing for himself. Most alive he felt actually was when he lost the money briefly in Y4 - it made him work to get them back again.

Now it gets a bit tricky, hence the TW.

I think that a lot of things about him actually make sense, if while living on the streets, he had it bad enough to the point of selling himself for food. Like, I don't want to make it into torture porn or downplay the traumatic experience of homelessness overall, but something for sure ruined him and his self-perception. That's why he's bouncing between playing a self-righteous entity and hating himself.

Aside from his crippling depression from all this being shunned deep inside and not addressed, there's the attitude about sex work I've mentioned he has in Y4. He is distancing himself from the situation yet again. A little bit of a trick to calm his mind: "If I treat it like every other job, it won't feel as dehumanizing applied to myself". And also: "Well, I was not above doing that! I was not too proud to do it! Why should anyone else be?"

Now, of course he doesn't want to subject his former boss (and, by extension, Eri) to the same hardships. Even though he is, actually, a bit of a cruel person.

So here's Akiyama in Y4-5. Not super pretty and kind of greasy, but nevertheless charming, gallant and crazy smart. Fighting and dancing and singing and networking equally well. VERY annoying, because he considers himself an expert in all things he read about even once (I also hc him eidetic memory, which makes it worse). And with every year getting more secluded and miserable.

That being said, fem ryuaki has slightly different tone even in all-fem AU because of gender expectations. Akiyama's upbringing for example.

I hc his parents seeing him as this very "proper" son, encouraging his risk-taking neurodivergent activity ONLY when it helped to build onto that image. They happily bragged about their son - with prestigious business degree, good banking job and pretty fiancée. But ofc, when it's all came crashing down, they didn't want to hear about him anymore. Nowadays they acknowledge his existance with some disdain, because they care about reputation more then about him or his wealth. And he has some "disgusting jobs, no respectable friends and no wife".

(It's all kinda complicated from both sides, mb I'll get deeper into it in fanfic that I'm writing)

(And forgive me for saying this, but fem Akiyama is more interesting for me to write in this narrative, because she needed to balance fitting "proper little quiet Japanese woman" with her loud banking career, and while she was always openly feminine, she was never proper or quiet "enough". And now she's "not enough" among actual living legends.)

Well, that's all I have to say for now!

I'm always open for further questions and discussions 😊

[zutaralesbian]

Top 5 major storylines from shows that you would erase or handle differently?

In no particular order…

1. Seasons 3 and 4 of Killing Eve in general. Like, just erase both seasons completely and start over. There’s so many cool places they could have taken the show after how S2 ended and they went with…that. If I had been in charge I probably would have leaned further into dark Eve during S3 and would have eventually had her go off on a rage-fueled revenge quest against Villanelle. (Which ofc would have ended with hate fucking lol).

2. Bonnie’s love life in TVD. (Really, just Bonnie’s storyline in general). Sorry to my mutuals who liked Bonnie/Jeremy or Bonnie/Enzo but both of them are a no from me. (Bonnie/Enzo had potential but the execution sucked imo). I would have had Bamon happen and start developing romantically in S6 or, as a second choice, introduce Nora a bit sooner and make bi Bonnie canon. Either of those options would have been better than what we got.

3. Buffy and Spike from btvs. If they still had to happen at all, I would have had it been completely over after Seeing Red. If it’d been up to me, Buffy wouldn’t have forgiven him, let alone make a big bulk of her storyline be about defending him during her final seasons. Fuffy would happen instead.

4. Speaking of btvs…I would have had Xander die during Seeing Red instead of Tara. He and Willow had been friends since they were kids, that would have been enough to trigger dark Willow. And then Tara would have been the one to bring her back. I have complicated feelings about Tara/Willow as a ship but I still think they should have been endgame. Also men dying for the character development of women? A+.

5. Zutara being canon in atla. I think Aang could have still had a crush on Katara but it would have ended towards the end of book 2 with them having a conversation and Katara telling him that she loves him but not in that way. Zutara would have been hinted at in book 2 but would not happen until book 3. I think it could have been cool if Katara somehow found out Zuko was the Blue Spirit during book 2 and they started having secret meetings in Ba Sing Se, where they eventually develop a tentative friendship with romantic undertones. Katara would spend that time trying to convince Zuko to fully switch sides and he almost does…only to fall back back into old habits when Azula offers him the choice in the catacombs. This would make Zuko’s betrayal even more dramatic and angsty because Katara would have developed feelings for him. And then Zuko would struggle with his relationship with Mai in the Fire Nation because he’d have Katara at the back of his mind…I’ll stop myself here lmao

Honorable mention to what the SOA writers did to Tara and Gemma’s dynamic. I would have 100% changed that too.

Thank you! ❤️

[naniwagusto]

I completely forgot about Father's Day lmao I'm sorry

I think in having to write for my fic and looking again and again at the games it's undeniable Asuka cares about her dad- I think the difficulty is in figuring out how she sees him. Because we have to consider how it makes sense that Asuka grew up to be so angry, grew up to be self centered, grew up to be violent, and how it is despite obviously using dad in the hospital as an excuse to have fun at the tournament in 5 by her dialogue- she does still love him enough to have considered hunting Feng a form of revenge.

So really the question is what was dad's parenting like to make a person who's both self absorbed and in denial of the full breadth of her emotions yet still cares genuinely for others. Who feels so deeply for others she blows up taking drastic action not caring about her own well-being when she feels those she cares about who in turn are part of her are hurt.

Also the fact she takes her anger outside of the house by purposefully blowing off steam in fighting people on the street or in her various quests through the games, it feels as if she wouldn't see need to do that if she could express that anger in a more productive way at home. As if she doesn't feel she could just talk through her frustration with her dad or put it into energy as a dojo teacher alone. She felt the need for that extra external factor by going to look for strangers. And then you couple that with the narrative in her head that she's a hero for taking her anger outside the house because outside it's not anger anymore it's 'justice'.

Dad is probably strict but still tries to be fun and caring. He probably demanded a lot from her in training and filled her head with the ideal virtues expected in the serious side of their family to the point it gave her an ego in feeling so special because she's part of a group others aren't by birth. Over time that special feeling becomes the foundation of her arrogance. Plus I think she just has a natural taste for battle her dad only unknowingly encouraged and couldn't contain enough within her by the time she's old enough to go looking for her own fights.

So while he taught her many things and made her feel special in the process and did caring things despite his list of strict expectations, the issue has to be he just wasn't so emotionally available. Yes he was physically there and he could talk to her and he does love her, but he likely can't entirely understand her feelings, because he can't be more appropriately vulnerable toward her with his own feelings first. It creates this sense of 'Yeah Dad loves me but a lot of times he just doesn't get my point of view and he doesn't like explaining his' that creates a void in Asuka where acknowledging her own feelings becomes hard if it's not really needed for communicating.

Then in turn if Asuka feels she can't get full emotional connection and satisfaction from others then those emotions from a rejected outward source grow inward creating an egotistical mindset, because she has to depend on only her own emotional instincts. When it comes to a fundamental human need she has to depend on herself. And then of course no one likes feeling anything bad so without dad's proper example on handling emotions, she herself starts rejecting ANY negativity and turning it into anger and a tantrum rather than process it.

So I think Asuka and her dad are close but they don't fully connect with each other because neither is willing to be vulnerable. That's why Asuka in 5 is both willing to feel compelled toward revenge but at the same time selfishly wants to indulge her bloodlust and lack of care for herself lost in all her trapped emotions. Dad's lack of example has made it so any distress will eventually bleed into mindless reactive anger.

She's probably a lot like him in this sense and other ways we don't know because we haven't seen it yet. I also find it telling despite it being a throwaway line from Lili

(and we have no outright confirmation for if Lili was telling the truth but I see it as implied true since the dojo WAS decorated in 8 and Mr Kazama wouldn't have let that happen if he wasn't ok with it, it wouldn't make sense otherwise and there's nothing suggesting Lili used force getting the dojo at all)

- it's telling that Lili says Asuka's father agreed to and was overjoyed when she bought the Kazama Dojo; he never contacted Asuka he just makes a huge decision for the household that definitely was financially necessary but he does it without Asuka's knowledge or chance at input. A similar attitude was in the non-canon (and shitty lmao) Asuka spin off manga where Lili does the exact same move and Mr. Kazama is just as happy and tells Asuka to get over any of her grievances because the situation has gotten them out of debt etc. it's not canon but the license to write the manga was approved by Bamco, so I presume they had some oversight in allowing that plot point then carrying it into 7 and 8 albeit rewritten for the games.

Mr. Kazama like his daughter then gives the impression that he's doing what he's gonna do first, consequences will come later. That's just who he is and he's not gonna change it. Which would explain a lot about Asuka. He imprinted part of himself onto her and now there's areas where she's beyond his control because she's just as self determined.

[marblemoovt]

Ok I'm attempting to make an AU for Berserk based on the idea of Guts and Casca switching roles in the Eclipse (no need to say what we all know there) and instead of the quest being for revenge as Guts does cannonly at first, Casca makes the quest to look for a cure for Guts' mental state, which is that of a child.

Any suggestions really for any key events and such?

Oooh that sounds like a cool premise. I'm not super familiar with what happens after the eclipse as I only watched the anime and have not read the manga. I did look up some stuff on the wiki so I know small bits and pieces of what happens after, but not enough to confidently write anything remotely canon about it.

But here are some of my thoughts about such an AU.

This is all under the assumption that Guts is assaulted instead of Casca. I'm not sure if that's what you meant but that's what I understood from it. Does this have any effect on the child she's carrying? Guts being assaulted implies that the child remains untainted.

Casca still definitely retains some sort of trauma from that. She was betrayed by the man she used to idolize and love, so there's no way she came out of that completely unscathed. She also essentially was starting to move on from him, and her decision to be with Guts is partially the reason Griffith does what he does at the eclipse. So I feel like she might harbour a guilty conscience as a result. Definitely lots of survivor's guilt because many sacrificed themselves to keep her alive and she wasn't able to protect the one person that mattered the most. I think it would be interesting to show how Casca struggles with the after-effects and what she does to deal with them. Ideally, she'll come to terms with it at the end and find peace.

It's really interesting to think about Guts being the one to regress to a child-like mental state. He's a big guy, so how does Casca get him to move around? When they're in a dangerous situation, she can't exactly pick him up and run away. And while I think she's very capable with a sword, I don't believe she would be able to cut down monsters like Guts could. With both of them branded, she has to keep him safe. In canon, I'm not sure how Guts meets his companions after the eclipse, but maybe that can be the answer to how Casca is able to keep him safe in this AU.

Which reminds me. I think Guts leaves Casca alone with someone he trusts for like a year or two while he goes on his revenge campaign??? I don't remember but something like that happens I think. So one important decision would be this: Does Casca leave Guts with someone or does she take him with her? Because as per the previous paragraph, I don't think it's possible for her to protect them by herself, especially since she's carrying a child. The choice that makes the most sense to me is that she takes him with her, but is accompanied by a few other people. Logically as the months pass, Casca will become more and more pregnant. This is assuming she doesn't give birth prematurely. And I've never been pregnant, but I don't think any pregnant ladies could swing a sword or run around enough to avoid enemies.

Another important fact to consider is what triggers Guts? For Casca, it resurfaces when Guts assaults her and begins to touch her sexually. But what about in this AU? Seeing Casca? Their child? However, given the nature of Guts' childhood, it's possible that this only enhances the trauma from the eclipse, i.e. being touched sexually without consent. You could play with the idea that not only was the eclipse traumatizing, but the fact that he's regressed to a child-like mental state also leaves him vulnerable to the terrible things that happened to him when he was a kid.

I'm not sure if you plan to do anything with Griffith, like if he gets reborn and whatnot. Because a lot of that will change depending on whether the child is tainted or not. Yes, Griffith would most likely be reborn anyway, but without the influence of the child, his behaviour would deviate from the manga.

Honestly, there are just so many events to think about if you intend to go over everything. But if you were planning to only focus on Casca finding a cure and having them live happily ever after, then here are some key event suggestions.

There needs to be some sort of conflict. Something has to get in the way between Casca and the cure. There can be multiple, but there has to be a main one and it should be the most difficult.

How does she overcome this conflict? And how does this change herself and everything around her? There should be some sort of character development that occurs as a result of overcoming this giant hurdle in her life.

At any point do either of their traumas resurface? Why and what for? What purpose does it serve to have them relive these experiences?

How do Guts and Casca meet their travelling companions? I think this one is pretty important because I don't believe Casca will be able to achieve her quest alone. She definitely needs help, maybe she also needs to learn how to ask for/accept it?

I think a really sweet moment would be for Guts to validate everything Casca has done up to that point when his mental state heals. How she did a good job. How she did her best. How she's a good mom, etc.

But that also brings up the question of recovery time. How long does it take Guts to recover once his memories are back? Will he be able to look at Casca without losing himself to flashbacks of the eclipse? Or will this take time?

What about Casca? Will she be afraid of getting too close to him in fear or bringing up bad memories? Will she worry about what he'll think of their child? How they can be parents. Basically the issue of what now? Do you want to tie things off or do you want to bring up a new problem they didn't realize until now?

Ideally, Griffith gets his ass kicked at some point, but you could just ignore him.