#she’s a bottle blonde to me 🫶 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lixzey · 1 month ago

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i. how long could we be a sad song, til we were too far gone to bring back to life?

luke castellan x apollo!reader

warnings: just read at your own risk, editing this was hard as fuck so bear with me. this has a lot of swearing, ANGST, and a new character! This is part one of chapter two, by the way!

thank you so much to my girls, @lilmaymayy and @jennapancake 🥺🫶🏻 for without them, i would be lost ‼️

hope you guys love it! (i put my blood, sweat, and tears into this-) love you guys!!!

ps: look out for clues!!

10.5k words

The smell of your mother’s freshly baked brownies invades your nostrils—a scent you haven’t smelled in a long time—which makes you feel nostalgic for a bit, as if your mother was in the room. Heated sounds of arguing coming from outside closed doors snap you fully awake, eyes fluttering open in response. You try to sit up, but your body fails you—tired and worn out. Your eyes scanned around the room, you were in the infirmary, no doubt about that. Bottles of nectar and cubes of ambrosia—the source of the comforting smell—sitting on a nearby table with your guitar sitting in a chair beside it.

“Let me the fuck in, Chris!” You hear Luke’s voice from outside, annoyance evident in his tone. “She’s my best friend! Move away from the goddamn door!”

Clarisse scoffs loudly. “Best friend? Best friend? You ditched her to go make out with that blonde smartass!”

You wanted to stand up and eavesdrop on their conversation, but your body wasn’t letting you. Clarisse was obviously talking about Lacy, and how Luke bailed on you last minute. Chris probably told her that, and besides, it’s not like she doesn’t know that I have feelings for that dumb little shit. You wondered what would happen if you grabbed another few cubes of ambrosia, maybe Lee or whoever tended to you while you were out cold didn’t shove a cube down your throat yet. You hesitated, you were a healer—cabin seven’s finest, for crying out loud!—you should know better than to give in to whatever your brain tells you to do.

“Do not call Lacy that,” Luke growls at Clarisse. “I asked Y/n if it was okay, and she said it was! I wouldn't have gone if she wasn’t okay-”

“If it wasn’t for your dumbassery she wouldn’t be in here in the first place, you stupid dumb fuck!” Clarisse growled back, matching Luke’s intensity like an echo.

“I asked her and she said it was fucking fine! Get that in your damn thick skull!”

“Ha! Look who’s talking!” Clarisse snapped, despite being younger, she was a firecracker in her own right. “Acting all high and mighty, when this is all your fault! Did you even know that she went down to the docks, after you acted all white knight just to spend time with that know-it-all little shit? Huh? With an ungodly amount of food meant for the both of you!”

“Stop. Calling. Lacy. Fucking. Names!”

What on earth is happening out there? You shake your head, taking a deep breath, forcing yourself to sit with everything you got. You wince at the throbbing pain in your head, leaning against the wall, trying to get your shit together before grabbing a cube of ambrosia and shoving it down your throat despite that nagging voice inside your head telling you no, like a broken record.

“Y/n is unconscious, for crying out loud!” Clarisse yells, anger spewing like lava from the rock climbing wall down by the amphitheater. “And all you can fucking think of is Lacy!?”

“That’s why I’m literally here, Clarisse!” Luke snaps, rubbing his arm. “I’m here to see my best friend!”

“That girl inside,” Clarisse jerks her head towards the door behind her, anger fuming out of her like cigar smoke. “Is the kindest and most loving person out here at camp—literal sunshine trapped in a human’s body! She has always been at your side, and you repay her by ditching her to make out with a girl whom, might I just add, you’ve just talked to within the goddamn DAY and proceeded to ignore your said best friend.”

“I’m here now-”

Clarisse cuts him off. “Leave.” She pointed down the hallway, to the door out of the Big House. “Before I lose my shit and chop your head off and use it as a fucking bowling ball with your limbs as the damned pins.”

“Luke,” You weakly call out, loud enough to interrupt what could’ve been Clarisse acting out on her intrusive thoughts, your voice hoarse and dry as if you’ve been stuck in a desert without anything to drink.

“Y/n,” Luke breathes out, the sound of your voice calming him down as he pushes past the two. As soon as the door opens, you see him smiling at you—that mischievous smile you’ve learned to love the past three years. He then steps forward, ignoring the glares Clarisse and Chris were giving him. But before he can even get close, you fall back into your bed—steaming, as if you were burning like a forest fire. Luke immediately rushes to your side, sitting on the bed, holding your hand in his. Worry and fear was visible in his features, the scar on the right side of his face resembling tears running down his cheek as fear slowly crept into his mind. “Fuck, you’re burning, melody.”

“What?” Chris asks, frozen in place—worry replacing glare he once had. “I thought Lee already gave her ambrosia!”

“He did!” Clarisse says, seemingly forgetting her anger towards the older Hermes boy as she rushes to your side. “Gave her two cubes!”

“Call Lee, Michael, or Dawn! Now!” Luke barks at the two, looking around the room for anything to help cool you down, even though Luke knew that a fever like this wasn’t easily fixable by a cool rag or something. “Now!”

Clarisse immediately scrambles to get your siblings, looking like she had seen a ghost, dark curls following her every move.

Chris then stares Luke down, seemingly getting over his initial worry for you as his glare intensifies by the second. “Get out.” he spits out harshly. “Get the fuck out before I forget that you’re my brother.”

Luke looks at his brother, matching his intense glare. “I don’t give a damn, Rodriguez,” he hisses, refusing to leave your side like a clinging child.

“Get. The. Fuck. Out.” Chris enunciates each word with venom, his eyes flashing with hate and anger.

“She called me! She wants me! She needs me!” Luke let go of your hand, standing up to face his brother as he tried to argue, but Chris wasn’t having it.

“Go fuck Lacy for all we care,” Chris pushes him by the chest—despite being a full two inches smaller than his older brother. “Since you chose her over your best friend.”

Before Luke could even react, your siblings—Lee and Dawn—came rushing into the room, just in time to prevent gods knows what. Luke moved to the side, giving your brother and sister room to work, while still glaring at his brother. How dare he? The counselor of cabin eleven thought, forcing himself to calm back down for your sake. He felt miserable, that he had caused this. He wanted nothing more than to see you be happy, healthy, and well, you.

Luke averted his gaze away from his brother, chocolate brown eyes helplessly staring at your unconscious form. You looked so worn out, almost as if someone had drained every bit of your life force.

“Get your punk ass out of here right now,” Clarisse hissed, yanking Luke’s arm, trying to drag him out.

“Let go of me, you little shit,” Luke growled, like a lion defending its territory. “I’m not leaving her-”

“Get out!” Lee snapped, looking over his shoulder with a murderous look in his eyes. “Before I give you all hives, boils, anything available in the book!”

“But-”

“Get out!”

And with that, Chris and Clarisse dragged Luke out of the Infirmary.

“Let me go!” Luke struggled in their hold, every cell of his body wanting—needing—to get back to his girl, his melody. “S-She needs me!”

“Calm the fuck down, for Christ’s sake!” Chris sighs, letting go of his hold on his older brother. “Even if we both let you go, Lee and Dawn aren’t going to let you inside, you stupid dumb fuck!”

“Damn you, damn all of you!” Luke angrily yells at Chris and Clarisse, and probably at everyone else.

“Shut the hell up, Castellan!” Clarisse yelled, annoyed at his stupid behavior. “Stop acting like you’re the victim here, you whiny bitch!”

Luke ran a hand through his curls in complete frustration, muttering incoherent words as he tried hard not to pull all his hair out of his scalp.

“Get a grip, dumbass!“ Clarisse threatened, on the verge of acting on her intrusive thoughts. “Before I smack some sense into your sorry ass!”

Surprisingly, Luke didn’t fight or argue back. It wasn’t that he couldn’t fight back, but this girl in front of him was ruthless. More than anyone else at camp. And if she threatens someone, there’s a ninety nine percent that she will do whatever she says.

Luke sighed, quickly fixing his composure, glaring at Chris and Clarisse for a minute at most, before turning his heel and leaving the Big House, not even bothered to take a look back.

“Melody, I love you,” Luke whispers in your ear. “Please be mine, I promise to never hurt you again.”

“Luke,” You sigh, looking him straight in his eyes—deep brown that holds your heart. “I love you too.”

The sun slowly crept through the curtains, waking you up, tearing you away from your dreams. Your eyes flutter open, squinting as they adjust to the light as if it was the first time in a long while.

“Mornin’ sleepy head,” A voice echoes through the room’s four corners, snapping you fully awake. Your eyes dart towards the voice’s direction, meeting a familiar set of chocolate brown eyes you’ve stared into more times you could ever count paired with that signature smile of his that made his scar just below his right eye, practically fade. “About time you woke up.”

“Luke?” You mumble, thinking that you were still dreaming.

“Gotta be quiet now, melody,” Luke moves closer to you, giving you a better view of him—looking as handsome as ever. “No one knows I’m here.” He points to a New York Yankees cap dangling from his belt loop. “I sneaked in.”

“What? You snuck in?” You ask, brows knitted in confusion. “Why’d you sneak in? It’s not like you’re not allowed to be in here.”

Luke scratches the nape of his neck, avoiding your gaze. “About that….”

You raise a brow at him, arms folded in front of your chest. “Luke, what’s going on? Don’t lie to me, I know when you’re lying.”

“Of course you do,” Luke chuckles, shaking his head. He then takes a deep breath, looking you straight in the eyes. “Chris and Clarisse won’t let me see you, while you’re here, unconscious.”

You crack a small smile, the light you always had, returning to your eyes. “What? Why? I mean, they’re literally three, four years younger than both of us and they bested you?”

Luke smiles at you sheepishly. “Yeah, well, Clarisse isn’t someone I’d like to cross.”

“You and me both,” You chuckle, sitting up straight. “So, how long was I out? Two, three hours?”

Luke’s smile falters, hesitation in his eyes. “You’ve been here for a week, melody.”

“W…what? A w…what!?” You stutter in disbelief. “One whole week!?”

“Apparently, your insides burned because of too much ambrosia intake.” Luke explains with a look of worry in his eyes. “You got everyone worried, melody.”

“How much did they give me?”

“Lee swears he gave you only two, but another cube was missing from the table, so they couldn’t be sure if it was only two.”

“Oh.”

Luke raises a brow at you, a knowing smirk on his lips. “You don’t happen to know anything, huh, melody?”

You stare at him in disbelief. How is it that he knows when I’m lying but not that I’m head over heels for him? “I may or may not have grabbed another cube, a week ago.”

Luke shakes his head with a chuckle. “And I thought I was the one, what was that you always say? Who doesn’t follow orders?”

You roll your eyes at him, your lips curling up into a smile. “Shut up, Castellan.”

“You love me, L/n.” Luke grins, mischief twinkling in his beautiful brown eyes. Of course, I fucking do. You’re just too damn stupid to notice.

“Dream on,” You chuckle, forcing a fake smile, hoping that he won’t see through it. “So, how come Clar and Chris won’t let you in?”

Luke hesitates again, avoiding your eyes—a telltale sign that he was guilty. “They, uh, were, uh mad at me. For, you know? Ditching you.”

Oh. That’s why they were arguing a week ago, apparently. You understood why Clarisse and Chris wouldn’t let Luke in, they were only concerned for you. But it wasn’t a valid reason to keep him out, when it’s him that you’ve always wanted to be right beside you.

You force out another smile—maybe you were a pro, at this point—taking his hand in yours. “I don’t mind, charming,” you say, gripping his hand tighter. “As long as you’re happy, I’m happy.”

Luke looks at you. “You sure? I mean, I don’t want to put our friendship on the line because of my girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend?” You choked out, shock evident in your eyes, but you pushed it down like you always do. “I mean, how? When? I remember the two of you just talking…”

“Just two days ago,” Luke answers with a confident smile. “I’m in love with her, melody, I really am. After that failed quest my stupid father gave me, I think I finally got something right—her.”

You didn’t know how to feel. You felt numb, as if your heart couldn’t break anymore than it already has. Here he was, happy to tell you that he’s finally done something right in his life. Not knowing how it’s breaking you, piece by piece, tear by tear, beating you down until you can’t anymore. But, you can’t do a thing. You don’t have any right to get hurt, angry, and broken-hearted. After all, you were only his best friend, nothing more.

You gave him a smile with every strength you could muster. “Good for you, Luke. I’m-” you took a shaky breath, hoping you could blame it on the drowsiness if he asked. “Proud of you, finally getting the love you deserve.” If happy is her, then I’m happy for you—at least, I’ll try to be.

Luke leans forward, wrapping you a tight hug. “Thanks, melody,” He whispers in your ear. “You’re the best.”

You pat him on the back, wishing you could just hit him hard enough to knock some sense into him, make him realize that you were here—right in fucking front of him. “Anytime, charming.”

Luke pulls away, giving you a kiss on the cheek before ruffling your already messy hair. “You rest well, okay?”

“Says the one without burnt insides,”

“We all have rough days and it’s okay not to feel a hundred percent all the time.” Luke assures you with a soft smile. “You’re gonna pick yourself up, and get back out there. Be easy on yourself, alright?”

You raise a brow at him, laughing softly. “When did you become so wise?”

“Turns out, hanging out at cabin six makes you wise.” Luke laughs, rising to his feet. “I’ve got to go, alright, melody? I don’t want Clarisse to kick my ass, again, if she catches me here. Anyway, we have a game of capture the flag next friday. Chiron’s pushed it back long enough, if you ask me.”

“Already?” You ask, pushing strands of your hair away from your face. “What day is it?”

“You’ve been out cold for a week, melody,” Luke chuckles, shaking his head, his curls looking as messy as ever. “It’s Thursday today, Chiron announced last night.”

“Damn,” you mutter under your breath. “I missed a lot, huh?” Like you making Lacy officially your girlfriend.

“Don't you worry your pretty little head, you can jump back into it as soon as you feel okay.” Luke assures you with a smile, walking towards the door, Annabeth’s New York Yankees cap ready in his hands. “Now, get some rest.”

You nodded, playfully rolling your eyes, as if you weren’t already dying of heartache and a headache from all the information you’ve just ingested. “Yes, I will. Don’t worry too much about me.”

“When you’re better, meet me at our spot.” Luke gave you a lopsided grin. “We’ll spar, but don’t worry, I’ll go easy on you.”

“Alright,” You fake a smile so normally, reaching for the bottled water on the bedside table. “I’m sure gonna beat up your sorry ass.”

“As if,” Luke scoffs, a teasing smirk playing on his lips. “You can’t beat me.”

You stuck your tongue out at him. “I sure can, dummy.”

Luke snorts, adjusting the Yankees cap to his size. “We’ll see.” He then places the cap on top of his head, his body disappearing right in front of your eyes. “Rest.”

You chuckle, smiling—genuinely—at him. “I will, thanks for the visit, charming.”

“For the love of dad, Lee,” You groan, glaring at your younger brother, lips pouting like a little kid. “It’s been twenty four hours! I’m better now!”

“Let me check first!” Lee counters, ripping open a tongue depressor. “Please, just let me check—to make sure that you’re actually healed.”

“I told you, I’m oka-”

“I’m going to bound you to that bed if you don’t shut up and let me do the freaking examination.” Lee cuts you off, effectively shutting you up. He sounded just like you, it was scary, to say the least.

“Damn, he sounds like you, sunshine.” Chris laughs from the doorway behind Lee. “You better now?”

“She would know by now if she’d just let me fu-”

“Just do the damn exam.” You grumble, sinking into the bed, your arms folded over your chest like a little girl arguing with an adult as you glared at your younger brother. “Don’t fucking swear.”

“But you do,” Lee retorts, pushing the depressor into your mouth, flat against your tongue, checking for burns cleverly caused by his sister who should have known better. “So, why shouldn’t I?”

“I’m gonna bite off your fingers, try me.” You say out through the depressor pressing over your tongue, your gag reflex activating causing you to grimace at the feeling. “I der ya.”

You hear Chris snort, earning him a glare from you. “What?” He laughs at your annoyance. “You sound like a toddler.”

You glare at him, raising your middle finger at him. “Yuck you.”

Lee, who was checking your throat, bursts out laughing. “You’re better, alright.”

You yank the depressor out of your mouth, the taste of wood still lingering on your taste buds. “I’m better, fine, good, all fixed. Can I go now or do I have to stay and be tortured by your annoying ass presence?”

Lee nods, a teasing grin plastered on his face. “Go, just don’t tire yourself. No stress for this day, at least, for gods’ sake.”

You roll your eyes at him, sitting up and reaching below for your shoes. “I know what to do, dummy.” You quickly put on your shoes, tucking the laces inside so that they don’t cause another accident before standing up. “I’ve been a healer much longer than you, thank you very much.”

“Yeah, right,” Lee mutters, throwing the wooden paraphernalia into a nearby bin. “Says the girl who burned her insides.”

“Shut up,” You hiss at your brother, resisting the urge to just smack him upside the head like the doofus he is. Brothers, geez. You can’t stand them but you can’t imagine life without them. You then grabbed a hair tie from your pocket, strands of your hair falling as you pulled your hair up into a messy ponytail. “I’m going to go find Luke.”

“Him?” Chris scoffs, rolling his eyes. “He’s literally the reason why you got sick, sunshine.”

“Nonsense,” You dismissively wave Chris off. “It was my fault, I forgot to drink water.”

“Yeah, right,” Chris rolls his eyes at you, not believing any of your bullshit, as Clarisse would call it. “You forgot to drink water on a hot summer, because my stupid ass older brother broke your heart?”

“Don’t you have someplace to be?” You grumble, picking up your guitar before making your way to the door. “Luke is still my best friend, I’m not just going to ignore him.”

Chris scowls playfully at you, placing his hands on his hips. “Then what am I? A tree?”

You chuckle, moving towards him and pinching his cheek, making him wince. “You, my friend, are like a little brother to me.”

Chris pulls your hand away from his cheek, still wincing from how hard you pinched him. “Little? I’m literally taller than you, sunshine.”

“Semantics,” You rolled your eyes, smiling at him. “Tall or short, big or small, or whatever the hell you want, you’re still like a brother to me.”

“Then,” Chris chuckles. “You are the best big sister anyone could have. Right, Lee?”

Lee nods his head vigorously. “The best, one hundred percent. Cabin seven is lucky to have you, sis!”

Your cheeks blaze pink, as you smile from ear to ear. “Gee, thanks guys,” You bow playfully. “Glad I’m appreciated around here.”

“Unlike some people.” Chris mutters loud enough for you to hear.

“He does,” You insist, your dad’s stubbornness shining through you like beams of light. “Luke appreciates me, I know it. He wouldn’t have visited me yesterday while I was out if he didn’t.”

Chris raised a brow. “Oh, did he now? I think I’m gonna have a word with this dear brother of mine.”

“Chris,” you say in a warning tone. “Be nice.”

“Fine, fine,” Chris sighs. “Don’t say we didn’t warn you, sunshine.”

“I am this close to cursing you with the sweating sickness.”

“Go,” Lee laughs, pushing you out the door. “Your prince charming awaits.”

The late summer afternoon sun was still hot against your skin as you excitedly made your way to find Luke, practically skipping as you threaded through the North Woods, to the place you and Luke call your escape from being the pillars of camp.

Only the two of you know about it. You and Luke swore on the River Styx to never tell anyone of the little hidden paradise the both of you had grown to call your own. It was the place you could be happy, the place you could have Luke all to your own.

“Not so fast!” Someone snarled, yanking on your hair, grabbing your bow and arrows. “Give me the fucking flag!”

“Luke!” You screamed, struggling against the pull at your hair. “A little help!”

Luke whipped his head around, anger immediately coursing through his veins. The sight of you struggling at the hands of an older Ares boy ignited a flame inside of him. Nobody hurts her.

Luke charged at him, making you yelp at the tug of your hair. The son of Ares was using you as a shield against Luke—and Luke wasn’t liking any bit of it.

“Let her go!” Luke roared, trying his best to attack and not hurt you. “You big dumbasss!”

“Just give me the fucking flag!” The son of Ares growled, pulling your hair harder, causing a sharp pain in your scalp—you were sure if he let go of you, all of your hair would fall out. “And I’ll spare both of you!”

“Never.” Luke growled, quickly planning an attack. Being the child of Hermes had its perks, as Luke was quick to move. Luke charged like an angered bull, taking the older boy by surprise, knocking you off of his grasp. The son of Hermes slammed the hilt of his sword against the son of Ares’ chest armor, causing it to dent and making him stumble. “Now, get the fuck out before I chop you into pieces.”

The son of Ares immediately scrambled away. “We’re not over, Castellan! We’ll get that flag one way or another!”

“Yeah? Try me.”

Luke turned his attention to you, almost tripping on a rock as he ran towards you. “You alright, melody?”

“Yeah, I’m okay.” You grunt, adjusting the strap of your armor. Seeing Luke’s worried look, you sighed. “Hair pulling isn’t gonna give me a concussion, don’t worry.”

“If that fucker comes back, I’m gonna-” You pinch him on the arm, making him yelp. “Ouch, woman! That hurts!”

You rolled your eyes. “Quit being a baby.”

“Violence is never the answer! I’m not the enemy, so don’t attack me!” Luke grumbled, rubbing his arm where you had attacked him.

“Let’s just go and hide.”

��Do we have to hide?” Luke asks, gripping his sword, ready for defense. “I mean, we can fight—I can fight.”

“I am not going to fight when I can just hide.”

“Then what’s the point of capture the flag if you aren’t even fighting to keep the flag safe from the opposing team?” Luke folded his arms over his armored chest. “It’s a war game for a reason, melody.”

You roll your eyes at him, shaking your head in annoyance. He was really persistent, but you wouldn’t have him in any other way. “One, we have the flag. We’re supposed to keep it safe, so we should be hiding it. Two, I am not in the mood to heal you if you get hurt—which will probably happen, because I know you.”

“Come on,” Luke whined, tugging at the blue flag in your hands. “We can win this, I know it!”

“We can win this,” You nodded. “If you quit being a pain in the ass.”

Luke scowled. “I am not a pain, thank you very much.”

You snort, raising your hand up to wipe off the dirt on Luke’s face. “Yes, you fucking are.”

Before Luke could retort, you hear yelling just meters away from where you and Luke were standing.

“They’re over there!”

You immediately realize who it was—it was the boy who Luke had bested just minutes ago.

“Great,” You groaned, simultaneously, Luke pumped his fist up in the air.

“Idiot.“ You muttered before grabbing Luke’s wrist, dragging him away.

Despite his protests, you keep your grip on him. You weren’t gonna let him pick a fight just because he wanted to.

“There!” You hear the yells of the opposing team getting loud and closer. “I’m going to fucking rip his head off!”

You spot a cave just a few meters away. It would be a good hiding spot, just until the furious Ares kids leave the two of you alone.

“Let me at ‘em!” Luke tried pulling his hand away from your grasp. “I can handle them!”

“No!” You snap at him, dragging him towards the direction of the cave’s entrance, almost tripping as you dragged the stubborn Hermes boy despite his annoyed protests.

The two of you stumble into the darkened grotto just in the nick of time, practically shoving Luke inside. You leaned against the stone wall, trying to catch your breath, hoping those sons of Ares won’t get the idea to look inside. You immediately pulled your necklace out of your shirt. The sun shaped locket your father gave you started to glow, illuminating your face in the darkness.

“You should’ve let me fight them,” Luke grumbled, chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath like you did. “I would’ve beat their asses!”

“If I did they would’ve got the flag from me, dummy!” You retorted, letting go of the chain of your necklace, letting it dangle over the camp's logo on your shirt. “Quit being reckless!”

Luke scowled, slumping onto the ground. You could see beads of sweat all over his forehead down to his neck. “I’m not reckless.”

“Yes, you are.”

“Am not.”

“You are.”

“Nuh uh!”

“Uh huh!”

Luke rolled his eyes, a small smile creeping its way to his lips. “I mean, I guess I am a little bit reckless.”

You raised a brow at him. “Only a little bit?”

“Okay fine,” Luke sighed, shaking his head with a laugh. “I’m reckless, are you happy now?”

“Delighted.” You grin at him, wiping sweat off of your forehead with the back of your hand. The two of you then sat in silence for what felt like hours—it was only a few minutes—the sounds of yours and Luke’s breathing accompanying the dim light of your locket.

“So, where exactly are we?” Luke asks, breaking the momentary silence. “Never seen this cave before.”

“I actually don’t know,” You answer, looking around the poorly lit enclosure. “Pretty sure we’re barely past Zeus’ fist, so we don’t have to worry about being too far out.”

“Zeus’ fist?” Luke snorts. “What? Mister king of the gods had a tantrum and punched camp?”

“It’s a clump of rocks that look like a fist,” You laugh, rolling your eyes at Luke’s humor. “Although, some call it Zeus’ shit, since it looks like a clump of Pegasus shit.”

Luke burst out laughing, throwing his head back like a little kid. “Nice name, fits mister grumpy pants. Thalia would’ve loved that!” he says in between fits of laughter.

“She would,” you smiled, knowing how much Luke missed Thalia—his first best friend. You didn’t know much about Thalia, but knowing from the stories Luke has told you before, he was right. “Thalia would’ve loved it.”

“Yeah, she would’ve,” Luke sighed, smiling softly. “Hey, melody?”

“Mhm?”

“Do you think anyone else knows about this cave?”

“I don’t think so,” you shrug, looking around. “This place looks so…dark, you know? And besides, the Ares kids haven’t found us yet. So, it’s safe to say that no one else knows about this place.”

“Our own place.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“This could be our own place,” Luke explained with a grin, his eyes shining with a familiar excitement you’ve seen before in his chocolate eyes. “Somewhere only we know.”

“It’s dark here,” You say, your nose wrinkling in disgust. You never really liked the dark. As a child, it had been your worst nightmare. Your mother would always set up a nightlight just so you wouldn’t get terrified of the possible creatures that lurked in the dead of the night. When you got to camp, your father had given you your locket to help you cope with the darkness and being alone since your mother couldn’t really help you with your fears anymore. “I don’t really like the dark.”

“We could add some torches outside, plus some inside, maybe those streamer light things too—we just gotta figure out how to add this without power, but I think I can ask that Beckendorf kid for a favor. A few crates we can stack up for a bed when we need it—I can grab an extra sleeping bag from the camp store. And some throw pillows here and there and it’ll feel like home.”

“You can’t possibly think that this dark cave could feel like a home,” You argued, folding your arms over your chest. Realizing that you’ve covered the only source of light in the dark, you quickly tugged on your chain, pulling it from below your arms.

“I lived in a cave once.” Luke says casually, shrugging his shoulders. “It’s not that bad, honestly. You just got to use your artistic eye—you do have that, don’tcha?”

“I’m not going to get my way, am I?”

“Nope!”

You rolled your eyes at him, smiling despite losing another decision to the boy right in front of you. “Fine,” you groan playfully. “You better make this place as bright as my cabin.”

“Not that bright, but of course, my sweet darlin’ melody!”

You smile, taking it all in. You’ve never had something as intimate as this, and it felt good, somehow. A place you can call your own, now who wouldn’t want that? “Our own place,”

“Our own place.” Luke repeated, contentment in his voice. “Swear on the River Styx?”

“What for?”

“If this is gonna be our little escape from camp duties, we should at least keep it a secret from everyone else.”

You raised a brow at him. “Even from Annabeth?”

Luke rolled his eyes. “Yes, even from Annabeth.”

“Pretty sure she’s gonna find out either way, but yeah sure, we can swear on it.”

“I, Luke Castellan, swear on the River Styx to never tell anyone of this place.”

“I, Y/n L/n, swear on the River Styx to never tell anyone of this place.”

The sound of the conch rang out from the distance, signifying the end of the game, and since the flag was still in your hands, your team had won.

“Did we win?”

“We did!” You squeal, grinning from ear to ear like a child on Christmas eve. “We won! We actually won!”

“Come on, let’s rub our victory in their faces,” Luke grinned, his eyes shining with that familiar mischief you’ve come to adore, dramatically offering his hand out for you to take. “Shall we, my lady?”

“We shall,” You giggle, grabbing his hand as the two of you make your way out of the dimly lit space.

From that day on, you and Luke have decorated the place to look as cozy as possible. The both of you would spend as much time as possible together, usually sparring outside the cave or just catching up on the sleep you’ve missed from waking up early in the mornings. Sometimes, you’d bring your art supplies and paint little murals all over the walls. Luke even carved yours and his initials on one side of the walls and painted them gold—in Luke’s words, because, our friendship is worth more than gold. This little cave was your escape from reality. Where Luke is yours, and you are his—even just in your imagination.

You sigh happily as you spot your little hidden paradise, blazing greek fire on torches set up just at the entrance. You practically skipped towards the cave, a huge grin plastered on your face.

“Luke? Are you here, charming?” you call out, your voice sounding a little giddy as you make your way inside, following the dim light inside—which Luke probably lit beforehand. “I’m here! I’m ready to beat your ass!”

As you approach closer to the light, you hear faint moaning? What in the name of Hades is he moaning for? You thought, brows knitting in confusion as you moved cautiously forward, pulling the strap of your guitar over your head. He better not be jerking off again. I swear to the gods above I’m going to hit him with my guitar.

You’ve only caught him in the act once, and it was enough for you and Luke to resort to calling before coming in—which you did, and debating whether to do it again because you did not want to see how males relieve themselves again ever in this lifetime.

You sigh heavily as you make your way inside of yours and Luke’s secret hide out, desperate for a little sleep before getting back into your duties as one of the head counselors. Your fourth archery class was in two hours, and you were already debating whether you should leave it for Dawn to handle because you were absolutely aching to get a well deserved rest, practically begging Hypnos to put you into a peaceful nap right there and then.

As you walk past the buckets of paint you left from the last mural you made, you hear muffled sounds coming from inside. Immediately, you thought of Luke being injured or in pain—his recklessness usually got him into unsavory circumstances, and it was honestly so stupid of him most of the time. But you’ve never heard him like this before, and it made you worry. Maybe he got stabbed—which was highly unlikely, knowing how good he is with a sword—and was scared to tell you, knowing you’d bound him to a bed in the infirmary this time. Whatever it is, you were ready to hit him on the head for it. Perhaps even curse him with the sweating sickness for, well, being a pain in the ass (you love him for it, so you most likely won’t).

Sighing, you finally make your way towards him, hands in your pockets searching for something that could help—band aids, ambrosia, anything—ease whatever pain Luke was feeling. Hopefully, it isn’t that bad and fixable with the few cubes of ambrosia in a pouch inside your pocket.

“Jesus, Luke!” you shriek, immediately closing your eyes shut, pulling your hands out of your pockets and covering your eyes for added, well, coverage from what you just saw.

“Shit, shit, shit,” you hear Luke say as he quickly—as you assumed—pulled his boxers and pants up, before the sound of his footsteps echo in your ear. “You saw that…?”

“What do you think, dumbass?” you hiss, eyes still closed shut as you attempted to cross one arm over the other against your chest.

“Maybe next time, call first?”

“You think?”

“You can open your eyes now, Mel,” Luke says with a chuckle. “You gave me blue balls, but I’m decent now.”

“Nuh uh,” you shake your head. “I don’t trust you.”

“You wound me, miss Y/n L/n, daughter of the god of truth-”

“Your dad is a liar. You said so-”

“You think I’d ever lie to you, melody?” Luke snorts. “Just open your eyes, drama queen.”

“It’s not my fault I’m scarred for life!” You grumble, reluctantly opening your eyes, relieved that Luke was decent looking at least even though his belt was undone and the zipper was half way up—which you just chose to ignore. “Gods of Olympus, I think I need to get therapy!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Luke rolls his eyes sarcastically. “It’s not my fault you just waltzed in without announcing yourself.”

You scoffed, glaring at him. “Well, I’m sorry for thinking that you were injured or something, dumbass!”

“Come here,” Luke opens his arms out for a hug, giving you an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, mel-”

“Ew, wash your hands first!”

Luke burst out laughing. “Really?”

“I am not hugging you until your hands are a hundred percent disinfected, Castellan.”

“Fine,” Luke laughs, turning his back to get the shoe box sitting on the ground, placing the cover back on top. “Let me just bring this back to eleven, and then you can supervise me in disinfecting my hands.”

“What even is that?” you ask, peering over Luke’s shoulder.

“Oh, trust me. You don’t want to know.”

Realizing what he meant, you visibly cringed. “Oh, dear gods,” you say, your nose wrinkling in disgust. “You are disgusting, you know that?”

“You gotta do what you gotta do,” Luke smirks. “It hurts, if not relieved properly.”

“Stop, stop,” you shake your head, covering your ears. “I do not need a lesson on the male reproductive system.”

“It is what it is, melody.”

“Shut up,”

“Next time, call first, alright?” Luke chuckles, placing the box under his arm. “Yell if you have to.”

“Noted. And next time, give me a fucking heads up an hour before you want to do…that.”

“You do know that your brothers probably jerk off too, you know?”

“I swear to my dad I’m going to kill you of you don’t stop, Luke-”

Luke smirks, slinging his other arm over your shoulders. “You love me,”

I do, you think as the two of you make your way out. “But that does not mean you can annoy me to death.”

“Ah, but that’s my purpose, my friend.”

“You are absolutely, a hundred percent, annoying, Luke.”

“I think you mean, absolutely, a hundred percent, charming?”

“Nope,” you chuckle as Luke scoffs playfully. “You’re definitely an annoying little shit.”

“Yeah, well, I’m your annoying little shit.”

“The one and only.”

“Luke?” you call out his name again, this time a little louder. What is he doing? He better not be doing what I think he is, or I am definitely going to kill him.

“Luke-” A gasp escapes your lips at the scene playing right in front of your eyes. Suddenly, you felt like a statue, stuck staring despite the voices in your head begging you so desperately not to.

Luke was half naked, leaning against the wall, his jeans unbuckled and hanging loosely around his waist. And there was Lacy, straddling him, hands roaming absolutely everywhere. Her manicured hand trailing up and down his bare, scarred chest while the other was threading through his chocolate curls as he kissed her like it was the end of the fucking world. Luke's hands slowly crept down, one hand snaking around her waist, pulling her closer and the other trailing up under her shirt and up to her breasts, emitting a sound you never wanted to ever hear. The sounds of their moans kept ringing in your ears, haunting you with every second you stood frozen. Gods, at this point, you wanted to pop your eardrums just to be free of this involuntary torture.

But that wasn't even the worst part. It was the fact that, a few inches up, you could see a pair of initials drawn messily with red lipstick right over yours and Luke’s.

L + L

He was putting her over you, literally and physically.

You knew this was going to happen from the very moment Luke told you about his relationship, but you didn’t expect it to be so soon. Angry tears started to prick the corners of your eyes, threatening to spill at any second. You tried your best to push them back, but it felt like an overflowing dam. Your grip on your guitar loosens as your tears slowly cloud your vision. The wooden instrument slips from your hold, shattering into tiny unfixable pieces from the impact, just like your heart. At the sound of the instrument breaking, Luke’s head whips around, spotting you. His face immediately drains of color, knowing his faults.

“Shit-” Luke pushes Lacy off of him, causing her to yelp as he quickly makes his way towards you. But you turn to run off before he could even catch up. “Y/n, wait!” he calls after you as you run out of yours and Luke’s once secret place.

You kept on going, running and ignoring Luke’s pleas for you to stop and talk to him. You felt very betrayed, very heartbroken, and very angry. How could Luke do this to me? You kept on asking yourself as tears kept clouding your vision like an endless fog while you ran through the woods without any direction. You wanted to stop and face Luke, to scream at him for being so clueless about your feelings and for hurting you. But you couldn’t, you just can’t. The image of him entangled with that girl was burned into your mind, refusing to let you get away from its grasp as the memory replayed again and again like a broken record. Oh, how you wanted to gouge your own eyes out and drown them in bleach until the image of them faded completely out of your mind, unfortunately, you are a prisoner of your own thoughts.

And even if you could muster up the courage, you didn’t have the right to do so. You were just his friend, nothing more. You were just this person he could count on whenever he needed something. He doesn’t care about your feelings if or not you get hurt by his choices, because you didn’t mean much to him the way Lacy meant to him. You wanted so badly for your heart and mind to just realize that crucial fact, but like your father, you were just as stubborn. Gods, fucking gods, how cruel are they to damn you like this? What the hell did you do to invoke the ire of the gods and get this kind of suffering?

“Y/n, will you stop for a second!?” Luke managed to catch up on you, grabbing you by the arm and pulling you towards him like a force of a thousand magnets.

Your hands immediately found your eyes, wiping off every tear as much as you could, trying your absolute hardest to look normal. As if you weren’t hanging onto the balance of anger and hurt.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Luke’s voice was suddenly gentle and soft, his hands moving upward to cup your cheeks, slightly titling your face up so you could meet his eyes. “Are you okay, melody? What’s wrong? You know you can tell me anything.”

“Yeah, I’m-I’m good,” You sniffle, shifting your gaze away from him. How stupid is he to not see through you? “Just had a really shitty day.”

Luke sighs as he wraps his arms around you, his lips pressing against your forehead, burning into your skin. “I’m so sorry about-”

“It’s okay,” you cut him off with a shaky breath, pushing yourself away from his hold. You wanted so badly to bury yourself in his chest, like you always did whenever Luke hugged you, to breathe in his scent, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. Knowing that Lacy had already claimed her territory. “I-I have to go,” You choked back a sob, wiping away the fresh tears falling from your eyes as you turned your back on him. “Lots…lots of stuff to do.”

“Y/n, wait-” Luke tries to stop you, his hand on your arm—holding onto you like a vice he didn’t want to let go—but you pulled your arm away and just walked away without taking another look back, because you didn’t want to look as desperate as you felt.

You feel your chest tighten as you hear Luke calling your name again and again, his voice slowly fading as the distance between you and him grows farther away. But, you continued to tread on, walking without a sense of direction through the woods. Despite that, there was this lingering feeling in your heart that hoped so badly that Luke would still follow you.

Should I look back? Should I stop? Should I…

No, Luke isn’t behind you anymore. He doesn’t care about you. He doesn’t give a damn about you. You are nothing to him. He loves Lacy, not you. And he will never love you.

Haven’t I given enough? I mean, I gave Luke my best me’s-

You aren’t her.

You aren’t Lacy.

What does she fucking have that I don’t?

You will never be her.

You snap out of your thoughts as you fall onto your hands and knees, gasping for air as the tears you were trying your absolute hardest to push back now flowed down your cheeks like an endless stream. You couldn’t keep it in anymore, it was just too much for you to handle all at once. It was suffocating, as if Lord Eros had shot an arrow straight through your throat, purposely missing your heart, and with a taunting voice he’s telling you “You don’t deserve love!”

“Holy Hephaestus- Beckendorf, get your ass down here for a sec!” You hear someone say, causing you to immediately wipe away tears, dirt smearing all over either side of your face. You see a figure approaching you from your peripheral view, which then you realized where you were. Fire crackled in the distance, the smell of burning metals lingering in the air. “Gods of Olympus- Y/n?” The figure knelt in front of you, large calloused hands supporting your weight as your body trembled from the forcing back whatever you felt. Looking up, though still a bit blurry, you recognized the person holding onto you. Marco Leon, head of cabin nine and son of Hephaestus—a familiar face you’ve come across multiple times a day in the infirmary.

“Are you alright, Y/n?” Marco asked, lifting your palms away from the ground, placing them onto his shoulders as he helped you stand up, searching you for any cuts or bruises. “What happened?”

What happened? Nothing. I just saw the love of my life practically having sex with his new girlfriend. “N-nothing,” You wheezed out, stumbling forward a bit as your chest heaved from trying to stop the tears and catch your breath. “I’m fine…”

“You’re obviously not fine, Y/n.” Marco shook his head, his face contorting into a look of concern. He slid his arm around your waist, careful not to make you feel uncomfortable but enough to keep you steady on your feet. “Come on, let’s get you seated for a sec.”

Marco led you towards the workshop, where surprisingly only one of his siblings—Charles Beckendorf—was waiting, confusion evident in his features as you approached.

“Holy- What did you do, Marco?”

“I didn’t do anything wrong! She tripped!” Marco defended, helping you onto one of the work benches around. “Quick, get the first aid kit!”

“No,” You say, shaking your head, your voice hoarse and dry as you undo your ponytail. “I mean, no thanks. I-I can do it myself.”

“Are you sure?” Marco grabbed the first aid kit from his brother, opening it. “You’ve got a pretty nasty scrape, there.”

You smile weakly, pushing back a few strands of your hair away from your face, cringing slightly at the feeling of dirt dried up on your skin. “It’s fine, don’t worry.”

“Alright,” Marco smiled, giving you an alcohol pad and gauze along with the tiniest roll of paper tape, which you gladly accepted with a small nod.

Ripping open the alcohol pad, you pressed it against your skinned knee, wiping any debris and bacteria away, a whimper escaping your lips at the burning sensation of the disinfecting wipe. You then repeated the process on your other knee, before placing the used pad on your lap and opening one of the gauze packs.

“Here, let me help with this, at least.” Marco offered, grabbing the roll of tape, tearing off a piece. “Put the gauze over the scrape, and I’ll secure it down.”

“Thanks,” You squeaked, eyes widening at how horrendous that sounded. Gods, why can’t I do anything right? “I’m so sorry for being a bother-”

“You’re not bothering anyone, trust me,” Marco chuckled, meeting your eyes with a kind smile. “You’ve been taking care of everyone at this camp, it’s just right to return the favor.”

Marco pulled another piece of tape, only for it to reach the end of the roll. “Shit,” he muttered under his breath, reaching for the medical kit and rummaging for another roll of paper tape, letting out a huff at the unsuccessful search. “Guess we’ll just have to make do with this little thing.”

He tore off the paper-clip sized piece off of the roll, placing it on the bottom side, so that the whole gauze wouldn’t fall off. It didn’t really make a difference, since your other knee was still bare—though, sanitized, at least.

You muttered a quick thank you, before taking a deep breath, composing what’s left of…whatever the hell you had left. “Gods, this is so embarrassing, you know?”

Marco raised a brow, closing the incomplete box of first aid necessities and passing it to his brother, who ran with it to god knows where, leaving you alone with the senior counselor of cabin nine. “What is?”

“Head healer, being a dumbass, getting herself injured and can’t even properly heal said injuries—and the worst part, the injury was only a scrape, a fucking scrape.”

“Stop that,” Marco sat right next to you, shoulders brushing against one another. “You have got to stop discrediting yourself, Y/n. You are an amazing healer, sister, friend, and person. From what I’ve seen you do over the years, I’m confident to say that you are the most selfless person here at camp.”

“You’re just saying that because-”

Marco placed his hand on your shoulder, your eyes suddenly meeting his—chocolate brown, just like Luke’s. I can’t even talk to another without thinking of him, gods, what is wrong with me? “You take care of everyone, honestly, but who takes care of you?”

“I-I…” Words refuse to come out of your mouth, leaving you like one of your blank canvas. Marco was right, and it pains you to admit it. You’ve always been the caretaker, but never the one cared for. Sure, your siblings and friends care for you, but at the end of the day, it’s still you who looks after everyone—especially him. If Luke Castellan ever needed tending to or help with practically anything, you’re there by his side, just like how Icarus was drawn to the sun. You often forget to take care of yourself, even the simplest of tasks like eating or drinking, slips out of your mind whenever Luke or someone needs your help. It’s almost an endless cycle, fixing everyone’s problem until it’s you who’s stuck with something you can’t muster up the courage to ever get a solution.

When was the last time you even had time for yourself? Gods, you felt pathetic. At this point you think it’s all you’ll ever be, as terrible as it is, a pathological people pleaser.

“Come on,” Marco pulls you out of your self loathing. “Let’s get you back to your cabin, you need rest.”

“I’m okay,” You mumble, biting the inside of your cheek. Here you go again, acting like you’re fine when you’re not. Taking a deep breath, you meet Marco’s eyes with a smile. “I’ve got to get back to work, you know? I fear my absence this past week has affected a lot.”

Marco shook his head, chuckling at how stubborn you probably looked right now. “Still, I'll walk you back.”

“I’m okay, Marco, I swear-”

“Please,” His voice was firm, but there was this gentleness in his tone that made your heart flutter a bit. What in Apollo’s name is wrong with me? Ugh!

“Okay, fine.”

Marco quickly rose to his feet, a grin etched onto his handsome- No, I mean, attractive- fuck it face like he’d just won a million dollars in the lottery. “My lady?” he bowed in front of you, offering his hand out the way Luke always did whenever he was trying to make you laugh after he’d upset you or something. You took his hand, choosing to ignore what your mind—heart— wants, giving the boy in front of you a small, forced smile as he helped you onto your feet. “Shall we?”

You nod, letting go of his hand before it all feels weird and awkward. Gods forbid anyone sees you holding hands with Marco, not that it’s bad or that you’re ashamed, but there is one person you have in mind you would prefer not to see you frolicking like a teenager in love.

Well, you were, in fact, a teenager in love, but not with Marco Leon.

The two of you headed back to the cabins in complete silence. It was honestly deafening, to say the least, you just couldn’t bring yourself to utter a single word. With everything that’s happened today, you wanted nothing more than to run away and hide, to weep like a fucking disney princess in hopes of getting a fairy godmother to appear out of the blue to help solve all of your problems, even if the magic fades after midnight. Oh, what you would give to get that wretched, cursed, image of the boy who owns your heart and soul with that…that girl out of your mind for all eternity. If it was possible to rearrange and delete memories from your mind, you would’ve clicked the easiest option out.

As the cabins came into your view, you let out a soft sigh of relief. He’s not here yet, thank gods. You weren’t ready to face him, or her after what you’ve just seen in the place that was once exclusive to and your best friend. The thought alone of them kissing made your stomach churn so badly that you wanted to throw up. Oh no, did they….continue after Luke got back? You visibly cringed at the thought, gods of Olympus, why was your own mind punishing you like this? You look up at the sky, the sun is setting in the horizon, the serenity of the pink and orange hue in the clouds calming you down.

“Are you free tomorrow?” Marco asked as the two of you approached the vicinity of the cabins, your hands brushing against each other ever so slightly.

“I don’t think so,” You hum, your hair blowing against the evening summer breeze. “I’ve got to get back to my duties. Archery lessons, music, and arts and crafts, I think? Why?”

“Maybe you’d like these new…uh, arrows? Yeah, arrows, that’s right! Me and Beckendorf made them for you guys. Test them out before, you know, using them.”

“Yeah?” You ask, brows furrowed in confusion. “I didn’t know we had new arrows coming in.”

“Lee approved them, because you were unavailable? You were, you know? Sick?” Marco fumbled over his words, like your younger brother, Will, whenever he gets caught stealing Lee’s flannels.

“Oh, well then, I think I could squeeze you into my schedule tomorrow.” You smiled, though, a bit unsure if you could take a few minutes off of your hectic schedule—the same routine of events you always do.

“I’ll pick you up- no, I mean-”

Before you could utter a response, you heard screaming. “Connor Stoll, get your ass back here!”

What has he done this time? You thought, because you were the one who had to patch the younger Stoll brother whenever he got maimed by the one he was terrorizing. Usually, it was Luke who’d ask what his menace of a brother did, and the two of you would laugh about it after the said menace was out of earshot.

You see Connor Stoll running in your direction, with that shit eating grin he always has every time he’s successfully pulled off a prank. Behind him was an angry Katie Gardner, with a trowel in her hands as she chased after the speeding little shit- Connor. “Get back here, you little shit!”

“Never!” Connor yelled over his shoulder, zooming in your direction without looking where he was going, colliding into you, causing you to stumble backwards- You have got to be kidding me, falling into Marco Leon’s arms like you were in a goddamn romantic comedy movie.

“Hi,” Marco chuckled, his arm wrapped around your waist, holding you steady like you were a canvas and he was the easel. “You okay?”

“Uh, yeah, I-I’m okay…”

“Stoll’s a menace,” Marco laughed, helping you back onto your feet in one swift motion, his arm still placed firmly against your waist, his face just a few inches away from yours.

“When isn’t he?” You let out a shaky laugh, realizing that were probably campers gawking at you and Marco flirting like two leads in a movie. “You…uh, you can let go of me now.”

Embarrassment crept onto his handsome features like a plague, scratching the back of his head like he’d been caught stealing from the Big House or something. “Oh, yeah,” he chuckled awkwardly as he helped you back to your feet. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s fine, don’t worry.” You pat him on the shoulder like an absolute idiot, who the fuck pats a person? At least, no one else saw that, because if someone brings this up sooner or later, you were going to kill Connor Stoll. Though, it seems that everyone has gone to get dinner, and won't be back until after the campfire—which, you should be there for, as senior counselor and head of the Apollo cabin. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow? I mean, if I get the time and all.”

“Yeah, of course. Take your time! I’ll be right here- I mean, not here here, but at my cabin, or at the forge. Not here, where we’re currently standing.”

“See you tomorrow, Marco,” you chuckle, playfully rolling your eyes at him, starting to walk away from the oddly awkward Hephaestus counselor. “I’ll try to make time, I promise.”

“Wait, you’re not going to eat dinner?” Marco asks, walking three steps behind as you headed to your cabin, which was only next to his own.

“Eh,” you shrug, running a hand through your hair, which wasn’t as smooth as you wanted it to be. “I think we have a few snacks in the cabin.”

Marco raised a brow, a teasing smile on his lips. “You gonna survive on snacks alone?”

“I think so, though, it wouldn’t be as healthy as I’d prefer.”

“Tell you what,” Marco gently grabs your arm, prompting you to stop in your tracks, now just a few meters away from your cabin. “I’ll go grab you something healthy to eat from the pavilion so that you won’t have to make do with that unhealthy junk. How does that sound?”

“You’d do that for me?” You ask, shocked as to why he would offer such a thing. You weren’t a princess, so it doesn’t make sense that he’d bring you food like some sort of servant, which he absolutely wasn’t. Gods, you felt bad even just thinking about it. Though, a meal sounded nice, since you’ve haven’t gotten anything to eat yet since you’d left the infirmary.

“Of course! It’s no trouble, if that’s what you’re thinking.” Marco assured, letting go of your arm. “What about the campfire, though?”

“My siblings will come looking for me, I suppose.” Foolish of you to think that you could ever get a little time for yourself. Guess you’d never learn your lesson then, dutiful daughter of Apollo. A soft sigh escapes your lips, still reeling high from the events that had come to pass. Dad, I just want the day to end, I want to curl up in my bed and cry myself to sleep. Come on, let me just do this once? I promise I’ll be your perfect, responsible, but broken hearted daughter again!

Marco seemed to notice the change in your tone, his eyes locked with yours, as if he was looking for answers in your gaze. You didn’t even understand why he was doing all of this. Yeah, you’ve interacted with him every time he comes to you with a broken thumb from accidentally hitting himself with a hammer or well, any injury that comes with being a son of the blacksmith god. He took a step closer, so close to removing the distance that separates the two of you.

“You deserve rest, after everything you do for all of us here at camp.” Marco tucked strands of your hair behind your ear. “You’re not a robot, you’re human. They can’t make you do anything you don’t want to.”

Feeling a bit overwhelmed, you took three steps back, fighting the urge to break down again. You didn’t need that, you needed to get over your own feelings—figure them out before you lose your own mind trying to fix this mess of a puzzle called you. “Of..of course. I got to go, I-I need some time alone. Thanks, for everything.”

And with that, you turned your back and ran towards your cabin, without looking back.

Luke Castellan, you fucking asshole.

I wish you were here.

268 notes · View notes

milla-frenchy · 10 months ago

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3k2 | Steve Murphy x fem reader x Javier Peña Summary: two DEA agents come to your apartment to extract information from you Warnings: 18+ mdni. Dark. Noncon/dubcon Degradation, dacryphilia, threesome, oral (f/m), whiskey bottle, choking, spitting, slapping, pussy slapping, spanking, unprotected piv, light rimming, creampies. No age specified a/n: @toxicanonymity this is for you 🖤 @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog Thank you for everything 💕🫶 The title is from some lyrics of Tear you apart by She wants revenge

ao3 | masterlist

You were used to being afraid during your work. Sometimes, you were afraid in the streets of Bogota, on your way home. But you had never been afraid at home. It was your sanctuary, a safe place, where what you had to do with your clients didn’t interfere.

When you opened your door and removed the key from the lock, you were just thinking about the evening you were going to spend, in peace, even though it was already late at night. Until you saw a silhouette of a man, sitting at your dining room table. In fear, you screamed and turned towards the door, thinking of escaping. But the door closed before you reached it, and a second figure, previously hidden behind the open door, appeared. You stopped in your tracks, transfixed, wondering what was happening.

The second man turned on the light. He was blond, with a mustache. A leather jacket and jeans. His gun was sticking out of the front of his pants, and you recognized him. A DEA agent, who sometimes hung out near the brothel where you worked. You've heard his name before, Murphy. Steve, as far as you remembered. And now you had little doubt about the identity of the other man, as they were always together when you saw them. Javier Peña. You turned towards him anyway, and his piercing black gaze was fixed on you. You saw his tongue press against his upper lip as he looked you over from head to toe. They had fucked some of the girls at the brothel before, but never you.

Your mind was racing. Two DEA agents who broke into your apartment. You didn't use, you didn't have anything at home that could get you in trouble with the DEA. So whatever they were looking for, it was in vain.

“What are you doing at my place?” you dared to ask, putting on a confident voice.

Steve tilted his head to the side and smiled, before coming to sit across from his coworker, and putting his feet on the table.

“Uh, excuse me? What the fuck you think you’re doing?”

“We want information, cariño. You give it to us, and we leave. Simple as that,” Peña said.

“I don’t do drugs. I don’t know who gave you my name, but your source is crap.”

Peña turned to Murphy and they smiled at each other.

“She’s cute”, Steve said.

“Get the fuck out of here now,” you barked, before walking towards the door. You didn't have time to realize what was happening before one of them stood up, grabbed one of your arms with one hand, and your throat with the other. He pushed you against the wall and whispered in your ear “you ain’t going anywhere, baby.”

Eyes wide, you said “what the fuck?”, and looked up at Steve’s face, inches from yours. What scared you the most wasn't his hands on you. It was his eyes. They were icy and unempathetic, and you felt your hairs stand up.

“Come on, Steve. Be nice. Don’t scare her,” Javi sneered.

Steve smiled, in a too carnal way to reassure you, and released you before going to lean against the table. You rubbed your wrist and your mind was racing at 100 miles per hour trying to understand what they were doing there, what they wanted from you.

Javi got up and approached you, and even though you wanted to step back towards the wall, you didn't want to feed them with your fear. So you didn’t move.

“So, cariño. Like I said, we need information. About your side activities with Escobar guys.”

Fuck, how do they know? you thought.

“I don’t know-”

You didn't have time to finish your sentence, when Javi slapped you. You put your hand to your cheek, and this time you no longer held back the fear that twisted your stomach.

“Don’t offend me, cariño. You’re starting to piss me off.”

You lowered your head, heart racing.

“If I tell you about it, I’m dead”, you murmured.

“Well… if you don’t tell us, you’re dead too,” Steve replied with a smirk.

“Yeah? Well you can shoot me then, let’s get it over with.” A surge of courage, or stupidity, pushed you to answer them before you had time to think about it.

Javi slapped you again, with the back of his hand, and your head spun. You heard Steve say “wooooooo”, giggling, as if Javi's attitude announced the start of a good time.

“Stop it, please,” you begged. You looked at them, your eyes now full of tears, and Javi told you, “oh baby… if I were you, I’d dry those tears. It turns Steve on.”

“W…what?”

“Well… I have no doubt you’ll tell us what we wanna know. But I have doubts about the state of you, when we leave.”

You heard Steve laugh again. Javi moved closer to you, his face inches from yours. He smelled of cigarettes and cologne. You had the feeling that you could never forget this scent.

“Tell us about Blackie.”

You shook your head.

"No?" Javi said. “Mmmm ok. El León? La Quica?”

You lowered your head even more.

"No? Tell us about Gacha, then.”

You took a step back, and Steve said, “Well, well. Seems like someone knows that asshole”.

“Please”, you begged. “He’ll hurt me.”

“Yeah, well… That’s the problem with dealing with bad guys. Lucky for you, we’re good guys.”

“What do you wanna know”, you murmured.

“How does this bastard fuck? I’m curious,” Steve asked, and Javi chuckled before stepping aside to let Steve approach.

“You know what, baby? I think we should compare. We should fuck you too, and you’ll tell us who’s doing it better, between him and us.”

Tears came to your eyes again, and Steve added, “Oh, baby. You should have listened to my partner. Tears turn me on.”

He pressed himself against you, his bulge against your pussy, covered only by your panties and a short dress. And damn, he was hard.

“Ok baby, I’ll tell you what. We’re gonna fuck you, and you’ll tell us what we wanna know. If you’re a good girl, we will try not to damage you too much. What do you think about that?"

Without waiting for your answer, he turned to Javi, and said, “That seems like a reasonable offer, right?”

“Shit, yeah. Couldn’t be nicer.” He took off his leather jacket and placed it on the back of the chair, as if what was happening right now was the most natural thing in the world.

Steve turned to you again and saw your eyes lost in the void. A tear running down your cheek. Taking your chin in his hand, he turned your face to the side, before licking away your tear.

“Delicious”, he smirked. “I wonder if your pussy tastes as good.”

He readjusted the bulge in his jeans.

“Ok baby, all this seduction was nice, but we gotta get our dicks wet. How do you wanna fuck this one, Javi?”

“Wanna bang her a little on the table. Wanna see if her pussy’s worth it. Tight enough to feel something when I fuck it, with all the cocks she took, you know?”

“Ok baby, you heard the agent? Go bend over, and spread those legs.”

You tried to get out of his grip, but of course he was too strong for you. He grabbed your forearms and pulled you towards the table, before pushing you forward against it. Javi positioned himself behind you and kicked one of your legs apart before pulling your dress up to your waist. He held your chest pressed against the table with one hand, while with the other he unzipped his jeans and took out his cock. He brushed it against your folds after tearing your panties.

“She wet?”, Steve asked.

“Not yet. She will be. Come on cariño, imagine I’m one of your clients. But instead of getting paid, you stay alive. And you get a good fuck by two fat cocks.”

He rubbed the head of his cock along your folds, and you could feel it was long and thick.

“Come on cariño, don’t wanna tear you apart.” He leaned into you, his torso pressed against your back, and grabbed your hair in his fist. “Don’t play shy, tonight you’ll gladly bounce on our cocks, I promise.” He was still sliding his cock against you, gently, and you felt your body react. And somehow, you were grateful for it.

“That’s it, soak me. This pussy wanna get fucked. And you know it”, he said in your ear, as he now pressed his cock at your entrance, pushing it in slightly. Steve walked over to the table and looked at you, your cheek pressed against the wood.

“That’s it, baby, be a good girl”, he said.

Javi thrusted in slowly, spreading your walls.

“Oh fuck, she’s tight”, he growled.

Steve caressed your cheek, and mocked “oh baby… No more tears for me? The slut’s starting to enjoy this, Javi.” He readjusted himself again.

“Of course she does. What’s better than a big cock in a tight pussy?”

He was fucking you slowly, giving your pussy time to get used to his size, his fist still clenching your hair. You heard him breathing loudly against your ear and you couldn’t help but get turned on by the way he was fucking you. He was good at it. Much better than most of your clients. And for the moment, you didn't even think about Gacha anymore, and what they expected from you.

He pulled out of you slowly, and said “ok, your turn Steve. Taste that cunt, man.”

Steve grabbed your arm and turned you around, your ass on the edge of the table.

“Lie still, baby.”

He spread your legs and told Javi “fuck, look at that. The whore’s drippin’.”

He knelt down and dove between your thighs, spreading your folds with his hands, his tongue lapping from your hole to your clit.

“Spread them more for me, baby. Put your feet on the table.”

You were turned on, and you did as he said, not even trying to fight anymore. His tongue now buried in your pussy, you heard him moan and you guessed from the friction of his shoulder against you that he was jerking off. You tried to stop yourself from grabbing his head in your hands to press him against you, not realizing that you were undulating your hips to the rhythm of his tongue.

“She’s fucking moaning... Come on cariño, moan on my cock now”, Javi urged you, pressing his cock against your lips. You opened them without thinking, letting him sink into your mouth. You felt your taste on him, mixed with his precum, and fuck, that was good.

Steve's tongue left your hole and moved up to your clit, placing his lips around it and circling around with the tip of his tongue. He released his cock and pushed two fingers into your pussy. You were so wet that he immediately added a third, making you groan against Javi’s cock.

“Make her come”, he said. “Wanna fuck that cunt again.”

When you came on Steve's tongue, Javi pushed himself all the way down your throat and held you against him until your moans stopped, making you choke on it, praising you with some “there it is, look at that… cuming on your tongue and choking on my cock.” You caught your breath with relief when he pulled out. Just before getting up, Steve slapped your pussy, making you jump, and spat on your clit, running his thumb over it one last time. The overstimulation made you shiver.

Javi settled himself between your thighs, and he rested his cock against your folds, his balls against the groove of your ass.

“You’re soaked. You get off like that when Gacha’s fucking you?”

He slid his shaft against your folds, waiting for your response. Seeing that you didn't answer, he slapped your clit, making you gasp.

“No! Fuck… No I don’t.”

“Tell me, cariño, why is that? He got a small dick?”

You sighed, and replied “yeah.”

“Mmm, I was sure of it. You got to have a small dick to need to compensate with a fucking bazooka.” He sank in one go, hitting the bottom, and you said “oh god!”. His hands tight on your thighs, he fucked you quickly, not giving you time to get used to it. Steve came over and asked if you had any whiskey.

“What?”

“Whiskey??”

“The fuck…. in the kitchen cabinet.”

He brought the bottle back and took a sip from the neck before spilling some on your breasts, bouncing to the rhythm of Javi’s hips. This made him laugh, and Javi leaned down to lick your alcohol covered tits, buried deep in your pussy, before fucking you again. You had difficulty resisting the urge to slide your fingers through his brown curls.

“Give me that bottle, Steve. And maybe we should handcuff her.”

“Nah… I like it when they fight a little.”

Javi snickered as he grabbed the bottle, and again you felt fear grip you. Why would they handcuff you? He took a sip too, before pulling out of you. “I think we can make this cheap whiskey taste better,” he said, then pressed the bottle against your entrance.

“No! No, wait!!!”

"Shut up. If you can take my cock, you can take it. For your safety I’ll be gentle.” You heard Steve laugh, as Javi pushed it in, while rotating your clit under his thumb.

“No, please, stop it!”

You didn't see the slap coming. Just heard the thud, and felt your cheek burn.

“Shut up,” he said, “Don’t make us repeat it.”

Just after slapping you, Steve grabbed your wrists in his hands, and positioned himself behind your head, on the other side of the table, facing Javi.

“Fuck her with it, Javi, I’ve got her.”

Javi slid the bottle further, continuing to stroke your clit with his thumb.

“Come on, cariño. Squeeze that bottle, cum on it. I know you can do it.”

You had encountered perverted clients before, but never to the point where they wanted to fuck you with a bottle. Despite the worry that he might hurt you, you forced yourself to relax, to make it easier. His thumb was helping you, too.

“Open your mouth, baby”, asked Steve.

You opened, and he spit in it. “Good girl,” he said, stroking your chin as you swallowed his saliva.

“How is she takin’ it?”

“Like a pro,” Javi laughed, and added, “well, she is, right?”

He tilted the bottle to pour some whiskey into your pussy, before removing it and sticking his tongue in your core, drinking the mixture of alcohol and wetness. The taste on his tongue was driving him crazy.

“Oh my god…Fuck”, you stammered. He kept licking, thirsty, starved, going down to your ass, where the whiskey had spilled.

Then he slid back the bottle in you, his thumb back on your clit, and you felt a new orgasm coming, already built by his tongue. You didn’t even try to hold it back, letting Javi’s thumb work your clit until you came all over the bottle.

“Fuck, look at that Steve! The whore is filling the bottle!”

He removed the bottle and took a sip, then passed it to Steve. He licked it before placing the bottle against his lips and drinking from it too.

“Way cheaper, thanks, baby,” he added, patting your cheek.

The degradation made you blush.

“Okay, remember I told you that soon you’d be bouncing on our cocks? Couch, now.” Javi grabbed your arm and led you to the couch where he sat down.

“Ride me. Wanna fill that pussy.”

You straddled him and took his cock in your hand, before gently impaling yourself on it.

“Oh fuck,” you said.

“Stop whining. Bounce on it now,” he said, and spanked you.

Your hands placed on his shoulders for support, you sank onto his cock, helped by his hands gripping your buttocks with each movement, then let you fall on his dick. Each time, he hit the bottom, and the pleasure mixed with the pain of his cock sinking too far.

Steve walked over, cock in his hand, and said, “time to fuck that mouth, baby.”

You slowed down the pace on Javi's cock so you could take Steve in your mouth, undulating your hips against Javi, and rubbing your clit against him.

Steve slid his cock into your mouth. It was slightly thicker than Javi’s, and your lips were barely able to take him in. You looked up at him as you let him set his pace. His icy gaze hadn't completely disappeared, and you told yourself that this man would be capable of destroying you while smiling, if he decided.

“Fuck, what a sight,” Javi said. “You’re pretty, cariño. I can't believe you let a guy like Gacha fuck you. Such a waste."

Your clit was still rubbing against Javi, and you came the third time, squeezing his cock with each spasm, your mouth full of Steve’s shaft.

“Fuck… this cunt’s squeezin’ me so fuckin’ hard… ah fuck!!” he spilled his cum in you, while your walls were still contracting. You had barely finished cumming when Steve pulled out of your mouth and grabbed your arm, dragging you to the table and bending you over it.

“Now, be good and take it”, he said, thrusting in immediately, in a slow powerful push, hands digging into your hips.

“Oh fuck you’re right, she’s so tight. You often get fucked by two guys?”

“No.. No I don’t.”

“That’s… fuck… a fuckin’… shame.”

He cut off each word with a movement of his hips where he thrusted into you ever harder.

“There’s nothing better than the feeling of a pussy already filled with cum.” He grunted every time he hit the bottom, and you were barely able to keep yourself on the table. Each thrust threw you forward, and each time he gripped harder to thrust deeper in your pussy.

You had difficulty standing on your legs, the feeling of being reduced to a doll was amplified by your weak legs, like cotton.

He forced you to turn your head to the side to look at him and said “look at me, baby. You look at me when I’m ruining your cunt.”

You tried to hold on to the edge of the table to control the movements as much as possible but he didn't give you any respite, pounding your pussy incessantly.

“Gonna fill you too…Shit. Gonna fill that fuckin’ slut cunt.”

He grunted, and thrusted in one last time, freezing deep inside your pussy, and you felt warm trickles of cum lining your walls. You finally relaxed against the table, waiting for him to finish cumming, releasing the pressure of your fingers on the wood.

He pulled out, spanked you and chuckled. He grabbed the bottle of whiskey and took another sip before passing it to Javi who had moved closer to the table. He then handed it to you, saying, “drink, cariño.”

“You’re fuckin’ twisted....”

You drank, and they laughed.

“Okay, baby. It was fun. Now tell us about Gacha. Give us all the info. Unless you want a second round? We didn’t fuck you with our guns, yet,” Steve said, grabbing his revolver.

His icy gaze was back.

********************

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halstudandruz · 1 year ago

Text

Thigh or Nothing

*Not my gif*

Pairing: Matt Casey x Reader

Requested: Yes

Prompt: Months after your breakup Matt loses his cool

Warnings: smut (18+), thigh riding, jealous!Matt, edging, swearing

A/N: Continuing to live in my happy world where all my boys are alive and still in Chicago 🫶

“I’m sorry, [Y/N]. We did all we could.” Connor broke the news to you and you could almost feel your heart breaking into two.

“Thanks Connor. I know you did.” You sighed, he gave you a sympathetic nod, picking three beer bottles up and heading back towards his table.

It was the cherry on top of your week. Which was without question the worst since you had become a paramedic 6 years prior. You shouldn’t have asked, you're not supposed to ask and how you felt right this second made the reason clear. Like your entire job was a waste. Which deep down obviously wasn’t true. The lives you saved had outweighed the lives lost, but that fact didn’t always matter. Not when you gave your blood, sweat, and tears to save a child who they would only end up losing on the table hours later. The less you knew of the outcome the better, you could at least pretend they all had a happy ending then. You were glad your partner hadn’t come out tonight. At least then she could live in the dark of the truth, one that you would never tell her. Swallowing the lump in your throat you gestured for Stella who was filling a glass with beer. She handed the beverage to a man at the other end of the bar making her way towards you.

“Can I get a shot? Surprise me, something strong.” You requested just as a body slid into the chair next to you. The only seat still available at the bar. Glancing to your left your stomach only tightened.

“Hey.” Your ex boyfriend gave you a genuine smile hanging his coat on the back of the stool.

“Well if it isn’t Matthew Casey.” The blonde to his left interrupted before you could answer. His attention quickly turned to a girl you recognized from the State Attorney’s office. How you didn’t realize she was sitting there before was beyond you. You had loathed her from the moment she tried to entice Matt into getting a drink when you were out of town after him and Severide had helped them with a case.

“Kaylee, hey how are you?” Matt greeted, and you could see the minute she turned her charm on, turning her body to face him, chest popping out slightly, eyelashes fluttering, and a soft smirk appearing on her lips. You would venture a guess that she had heard about your breakup somehow, not that she cared if he was in a relationship before. Stella appeared back in front of you.

“Yeah, make that two.” You sighed downing the tequila.

“[Y/N].” Stella warned glancing over to Matt and Kaylee who were now laughing. She was your best friend which meant she was also in charge of nixing your bad decisions when it was warranted.

“Just one more.” You looked at her pleading, she knew what a rough week it had been and you knew she was looking out for you but right now you didn’t care. She shook her head grabbing a bottle to fill the shot glass in front of you. “Thank you.” You nodded after feeling the burn down your throat a second time. You could feel Matt’s side eye and chose to ignore it for the better.

Thirty minutes later the shots were beginning to buzz in your bones only furthering your irritation when you watched Kaylee lean whispering into Matt’s ear.

“Hey.” A voice over your shoulder caused you to jump.

“What’s up?” You forced a smile at Severide. You and Severide had become close friends throughout the years mostly due to the grief of losing your partner and his best friend, sticking by each other’s sides through the thick of it, always having him nearby was a comfort.

“Just wanted to check in on you.” He sat down in the seat beside you that had been vacated 10 minutes ago. The one you were about to move to hoping it would lessen your ability of hearing Kaylee’s dare you say pathetic flirting.

“Yeah, I’m good!” You nodded, high pitched voice a little excessive. Were you coping super well? Not exactly. Trying to dissociate tragedies was supposed to come natural to you, just like everyone else in the firehouse and normally you could maybe, but Chicago seemed to implode this week and despite all your best efforts you were fighting a losing battle on almost all occasions. That’s the reason you asked Connor about the little boy from this morning expecting a good report and your spirits to be raised only to be shocked at the truth.

“Mhmm,” he raised an eyebrow glancing over your shoulder at his best friend’s back, “I’m sure that’s true.”

“It’s just like.. does he have to do it right here.” You rolled your eyes, whispering to Kelly, for no good reason since Matt was clearly so enthralled in conversation he wouldn’t have heard you anyway.

“Payback is a bitch, [Y/L/N].” Kelly chuckled, eliciting confusion to appear on your face.

“What does that even mean?” You tried to take a drink before realizing your glass had nothing but ice left, “Gallo,” you summed the dark haired man over holding your drink up.

“You know, [Y/N], I get off early tonight.” Gallo filled your glass wiggling his eyebrows which earned a laugh from Severide. Blake was cute, adorable actually. The kind of guy that would fall at a woman’s feet, make her wonder why she ever spent her life with any other loser. Not someone you wasted a quick hookup on, and right now that’s all you wanted.

“Yeah buddy, see how well that plays out for you.” Severide wore a smug grin, which annoyed you just because he was skilled at getting girls in bed with him didn’t mean he could make fun of the poor kid.

“Ritter gonna be out tonight? Cause I tend to get loud.” You lowered your voice head cocking to the side, a flirty grin appearing on your face, instantly causing redness to form around Blake’s cheeks as he slid the newly filled glass towards you.

“God knows that’s the truth.” Severide huffed, taking a drink of his beer, and your head whipped to him, a scowl appearing.

“Oh fuck you, I had to deal with your hookups on god knows what surfaces for practically a year straight so hush,” You shoved him, you and Matt hadn’t exactly lived together, but you might as well have. You stayed with him practically every night off and since Severide was his roommate he may have been unfortunate enough to be subjected to your pleasure induced sounds every once in a while. “And don’t act like you didn’t like it.” You teased.

Gallo coughed around the drink of water he had just taken, obviously taken back.

You had considered continuing the charade until you heard Kaylee ask Matt if his place was close. Stomach clenching at the words you moved quickly to take a drink, too quickly apparently as the drink ended up in Matt’s lap instead of in your mouth.

“Oh my god. I’m so sorry!” Heat immediately surfaced on your face. You truly didn’t mean to knock your full glass into Matt’s lap. The adrenaline from your jealousy mixed with everything else that week had you completely flustered and the cup slipped right out of your hand, but you knew from the outside looking in it would never look that way.

You could hear Kaylee scoff, looking up to see her roll her eyes dramatically. “Matt I didn’t-“ You flushed taking a single napkin trying and failing to help the mess at all.

“[Y/N], it’s fine. I just..I’ll be back.” He waved you off, stepping towards the bathroom.

“That was convenient.” Kaylee commented harshly, taking a sip of her martini.

“Believe me you don’t want to go there tod-“ You began to stand up, but beside you Kelly squeezed your knee keeping you put.

“Hey, it's not worth it. Trust me.” He encouraged, prompting you to shut up. Was it a good idea to get into a cat fight with an attorney? Probably not, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t tempting.

“Yeah, thanks. I’m going to go check on Casey.” You patted him on the shoulder heading towards the bathroom, throwing the blonde a glare.

“Matt?” You knocked on the door as a warning before pushing it open. The hand dryer on the wall was loudly whirring as he stood underneath it, the handle pointed at his crotch as best as it could be.

“I’m not mad,” he started the minute you appeared in front of the door, “I know you’ve had a rough week and don’t like her and you have every right not to, but-“ at his words your jaw almost dropped to the ground cutting him off.

“You’re not actually implying I did that on purpose.” You scoffed in disbelief, he knew you better than that.

“What am I supposed to think? It was pretty convenient timing, and I watched you down two shots the moment she started talking to me.” He laid his line of thinking out, and it was fair. Did you love seeing Kaylee flirt with him? Not for a single second. Were you trying to get trashed tonight? Absolutely. But regardless you would never do that to him.

“Fuck you, Matt. We both know we do what we need to in order to get through some weeks and sometimes that includes alcohol.” You defended, your face was beginning to heat up in anger at the accusation escalating. Not to mention you were far from drunk.

“Does that include hooking up with your superiors?” He quipped, making your heart drop at the realization he knew what the last few months held for you after your split.

“How do you know about that?” Panic took hold of your chest. Nobody was supposed to know, it could be really bad for both of you if anyone had found out about you and Hawkins.

“I have my sources.” He blew you off, once again hitting the hand dryer on the wall aiming his other thigh at it now. You weren’t dumb you knew exactly who his sources were, and Stella was gonna get an ear full later. She should know full well that anything that goes into her boyfriend’s ears will undoubtedly be in his best friend’s soon after. You and Kelly might’ve been close but he had an obvious loyalty to his partner in crime, “I’m just saying I haven’t felt the need to cause drama anytime you’ve left with Evan or your pick of the night.” His voice was raised even as the dryer dwindled to a stop.

“So, you’re slut shaming me now then? Is that what we’re doing?” You crossed your arms against your chest getting defensive

“Oh, come on [Y/N]. You know I’d never do that. Have all the sex you want, with whoever you want. It’s none of my business. I’d just request that you don’t let your ego cockblock me next time I’m trying to do the same.” He bit back. You knew he was right. He would never actually slut shame you and the accusation was a low blow, but the alcohol was causing annoyance to course throughout your body. Only heightened the second you watched him lean closer to the attorney.

“My ego? Really?” You laughed, humorously.

“Yes, your ego. You were jealous. Go ahead and admit it,” he encouraged and you rolled your eyes refusing to do as he asked, “you think I like watching you leave here with guys wrapped around your finger? I don’t at all, but at least I can admit it.” He took a paper towel from the dispenser. You had no idea why he was furiously dabbing at the mess, it was pretty clear the wreckage was cleaned as much as it possibly could be.

“This is ridiculous.” You huffed, the conversation was going absolutely nowhere. On a normal everyday basis you and Matt had been pretty good at putting your breakup on the back burner. Having to work with each other wasn’t always easy, but you both were handling it well with dignity and respect. Tonight, on the other hand, was different. Tempers were beginning to flare, and filters were flying out the window. All you were trying to do was offer him a genuine apology, but all you were getting in return was underhanded comments. “The only thing I came in here to do was take responsibility and apologize for an accident. I don’t know what your problem is.” You did not foresee this turning into a fight when you got up.

“You are!” He exclaimed, jaw tightening.

“Excuse me? What’s that supposed to mean?” Your emotions were beginning to boil. This made sense though. Your split was pretty amicable. Too afraid to say something and regret it later. Only having to face it every other day for the rest of your life, but maybe you were being too cautious. Maybe things needed to be said. Maybe mistakes needed to be made.

“You are,” he reiterated, stepping closer to you finally lowering his voice, “do you know how goddamn hard it’s been to see you leave here every week with a different guy? To hear that you’re fucking Hawkins when you’re all that’s still on my mind?” His voice was quivering and it took you a minute to adjust to the sudden change in tension. Surprised at his admission. You had never seen Matt like this. Even when you were together if someone had hit on you or overstepped their bounds he would kindly and calmly inform them that you were taken. Just as you would expect Matt Casey to. But this was something else. Months of built up jealousy, unable to do or say anything about it apparently taking a toll. His hand was gripping the sink so hard his knuckles were pure white, an anguished look in his eyes as he thought about it, and it was undeniably sexy. “I know that I have no right, but good lord, [Y/N]. It is slowly kill-“ You couldn’t even allow him to say another word. You were certain if you didn’t get your hands on him within the second you were going to burst into flames, gripping his face tightly, quickly molding his lips to yours. The rhythm was quick to find, familiarity not too far gone.

It didn't take Matt very long to take advantage of the kiss, pushing you back a few steps against the nearest wall, forcing his tongue into your mouth. Your hand found its way to the hair at the back of his neck threading your fingers through it. It was intense, fire quickly spreading through your body, slotting your hips against his leg, hips moving in desperation.

“Look at you, so fucking desperate. Like you haven’t been fucked right in months.” Matt’s hand rested on your ass encouraging the movement, lips moving down your neck.

It was true. Right after you and Matt had broken up you began frequenting bars, joining hookup apps, going home with a different guy multiple times a week. The problem was nobody matched up to him. There were some decent ones and some really sucky ones too, only concerned about how fast they could get there, skipping foreplay almost entirely, but no matter what without fail it always ended with you craving your ex. The only one to even slightly quench your thirst was your boss, Evan Hawkins so an occasional hookup may or may not have happened. What Matt clearly didn’t know is the agreement you two had, had recently come to an end after learning of a friend’s interest in the Chief. Leading to those hookups to become extinct over a month ago. So, whatever he was offering you were willing to take it without hesitation.

His teeth nipping at your collarbone only furthered your need allowing him to push you down harder on his leg. Leaning closer into him you took ahold of his hand that was gripping your hip trying to move it under your skirt.

“Uh uh uh,” He resisted, “it’s my thigh or nothing, baby.” He wore a cocky smirk, only growing the second you whined a quiet,

“Matt.” A defeated, pleading look appearing in your eyes. While his attitude was angering you slightly, only wanting to reach a high right this second, and you had no doubt his fingers could do exactly that, you couldn't deny how hot this was and how his ultimatum only furthered the wetness building between your legs.

“Show me how bad you need it, princess, but try not to be too loud there is an entire bar of our coworkers 50 feet away.” His thigh tightened as if he was wanting you to go against his warning, a strangled moan on the tip of your tongue, body getting as close to you as he possibly could so his smell engulfed you, a smell you missed having wrapped around you more than you thought.

You whimpered into his neck pushing your hips down harder, and you could feel him steadily growing against your hip. “You’re so beautiful you know that?” He complimented both hands moving to your ass encouraging you to speed up your movements, the friction from the denim winding a coil in your stomach. Your fingers clawed at his biceps looking for as much contact as possible. Head falling back against the wall, your eyes closing tightly, your breathing was starting to speed up shakily with every grind of your hips.

“Matt, I don’t know if I can. I don’t know if it’s enough.” You admitted, the knot growing but only torturing you as you continued to rut against his leg, needy whimpers spilling from your mouth.

“Yes, you can. I know you can. You want me so bad? Make a mess on me first. Be a good girl.” Matt encouraged flexing the muscle in his thigh once again, dragging his teeth down the side of your throat stopping to bite behind your ear, one hand coming up to tweak your hardened nipple over your top and you finally snapped, a breathless moan falling from your lips as Matt helped work you through your high.

“Good thing you already fucked up my pants earlier or else I’d be pretty concerned about the mess you're leaving behind right now. Your panties are going to be ruined.” He wasn’t kidding, there was absolutely zero doubt he would have evidence of this encounter on his thigh if you stepped off right now. He was however wrong about one thing.

“Not wearing any.” You shrugged, letting your leg fall shakily from Matt’s hip.

“For fucks sake.” He groaned pupils flashing even darker, roughly gripping the back of your neck and pulling your lips back to his for a sloppy kiss.

“Yours? It’s closer.” You mumbled into his neck after pulling away to get a breath, biting it playfully. Nodding he stepped back to pull his phone out of his pocket to reserve an Uber and unsurprisingly there was indeed a dark spot staining his jeans, but all you were focused on was the bulge to the right of it, mouth watering contemplating dropping to your knees right there, missing the weight of his cock on your tongue, when he grabbed your hand.

“We’ll go out the back.” He gave you a quick kiss, opening the door to check for anyone before sneaking through the kitchen out into the cold, a car pulling up to the curb just as you made it around the building.

The minute you were in the Uber your mouth was back on his.

“Sorry to interrupt but I’m gonna need an address confirmation before you suck all the air outta his lungs, honey.” A nice older woman, joked from the driver's seat. Blushing you mumbled an apology putting some space between you two. Matt chuckled in amusement, confirming the address on the screen.

“Probably get a lot of this, this time of night huh?” Matt began a conversation hand resting teasingly high on your thigh.

“Absolutely, but I don’t mind. It’s nice to see young people having fun. It’s cliche but you really do only live once and y’all are in your prime years. They go faster than you think. So, as long as everyone is being safe and aren’t actually doing anything disrespectful in my backseat I don’t mind.” She smiled, kindly. The conversation continued for the remaining 5 minutes until she pulled in front of Matt’s apartment building. “Have a good night you two. Be safe.” She winked. Giggling you got out thanking her, approving of Matt’s 5 star review and generous tip once you made it in the elevator. Your hand was clasped in his, thighs involuntarily rubbing together at the tension, having to behave with all your might thanks to the elderly couple who accompanied you.

As soon as the door to his apartment was closed and your shoes were discarded his mouth was back on yours, stealing your breath at the need he conveyed. Untucking your top from the skirt it was discarded on the hardwood, tapping your thighs you took the hint allowing him to wrap your legs around him walking you to his bedroom. It had been the first time you had been back in the apartment since the breakup. Heart aching as your mind flashbacked to Matt swallowing harshly, blinking back his tears, in an attempt to put on a strong front as you walked out.

Luckily, you were quickly teleported back to the present once your back hit his bed, allowing him to pull his shirt off in one movement.

You would never not stare, never could not stare at a shirtless Matt Casey. You had made it a point not to be near him in the locker room recently because it just was not a power you possessed. Not sure how it was a power anyone could possess as your eyes raked over his broad chest, his forearms and hands causing your hips to wiggle slightly. He didn’t let you gaze long though, bending to attack your bare chest. Hand moving between your thighs to learn you weren’t lying earlier, a groan escaping him at the finding. His lips laid kisses all over your breasts, fingers moving to trail down your slit hips immediately jumping.

“So needy.” His free hand squeezed your hip forcing it down, just as he pressed a finger in slowly you let out a deep sigh. It wasn’t enough, you needed more immediately.

“More..” You requested as he curled his finger just right putting more pressure against your waist when your pelvis fought to jerk forward. Obliging, he added a second finger increasing the speed. Your body was begging you to work for it, wanting to rock your hips down to ride his hand but his strong hold was preventing it. A groan fell from your lips the minute his thumb met your clit rubbing soft circles.

“You wanna come on my fingers?” He whispered in your ear, biting it softly. You were breathing heavily, quickly nodding your head yes in response. Your walls clenching when he crooked his fingers once again, so damn close, when he pulled away from you.

“Matt, what the fuck?” You whimpered, squirming under his lustful gaze.

“I don’t think you’re ready yet.” He brushed you off, but the glint in his eye proved how much he enjoyed this and it was clear you were in for a long night, leaning forward he pulled your last piece of clothing down your legs roughly tugging you towards the edge of the bed by your ankles, ending on his knees between your legs, and it was a sight to behold. One of your favorites if you were being honest. You were taken back at the lack of teasing the minute Matt shoved his mouth into your pussy, tongue darting out to lick your clit, a wail echoing from your lips, “You taste so damn good, forever my favorite meal, baby.” He praised nipping the sides of your thighs when his finger circled your entrance once again filling you. You directed all your focus towards keeping quiet as the knot grew tighter with every movement, hoping if you didn’t give him any sign of how close you were you could trick him into letting you come, hands twisted tight in the sheets when he sucked your clit finger curling to hit your sweet spot, but at the last second he pulled away, ripping you back from the brink once again.

“Fuck!” You huffed, hand punching the sheets, Matt chuckled above you,

“You’re so cute thinking I don’t know your body like the back of my hand.” And okay while this sucked, cocky Matt was intoxicating.

He edged you three more times and you were so wound up you feared the second he got in you, you would burst. You were physically panting, tears covering the sheets under your head.

“Matt-please. I’ll fucking call Hawkins right now.” You bargained, and despite the jealously that flashed deeper on his face he grinned smugly.

“You think threatening me right now is a good idea?” His eyebrow raised.

“I don’t know! I just need something, anything please.” Your thighs squeezed together begging for friction. Your eyes traveled down the man’s body, hardness in his jeans more than evident and you reached out towards him, missing the feeling of him in your hand, getting to watch his face scrunch in pleasure with just a flick of your wrist, but he caught your hand.

“Tonight’s about you baby, and making you wonder why you’d ever want someone else to put their dick in you.” He winked, his words actually surprised you. He was never this territorial over you, but it lit an even bigger fire inside of you. “Tell me what you want.” He ordered hands resting against the edge of the bed.

“You, right now. Anyway you’ll give it to me.” You wasted no time in answering, batting your eyelashes.

Smiling he finally pulled his jeans and boxers down allowing the bulge in his pants room breathe, tip red and dripping, moving to hover on top of you, he teased his cock through your wetness appreciating the way your cheeks flushed, his pupils dark not allowing you much time to drool, “Condom?” He asked, seemingly forgetting until this point not used to having to use them with you since you were on birth control, “I’m sure Severide has some.” You could see the hurt in his eyes from having to ask, and it made your heart ache in turn, but you shook your head,

“I’ve made everyone else wear one.” You explained, hooking your legs around his hips and his relief was obvious.

“Ready?” He leaned down to place a soft kiss on your forehead, a welcoming softness in a tension filled room.

“God, yes.” You wiggled your hips attempting to angle him in.

At the confirmation Matt thrusted deep into you pulling a gasp out of you at the roughness. You could vividly remember the first time Matt and you had sex. Gentle, intimate, loving after years of longing and avoiding the inevitable between you two. Completely different than right now. You wouldn’t be surprised if tomorrow you found marks from the Captain’s fingers around your hips pulling you towards him feverishly, everytime his dick thrusted forward into you, and it was exactly what you needed. It took a whole two seconds for you to fill the room with moans, allowing him to manhandle you from the start. He maneuvered your legs from his hips to his shoulders enabling him to go deeper, screaming when he thrusted his hips the perfect way, “Matt-oh my god,“ your body was tightening embarrassingly fast.

“Yeah, baby?” He gritted, and you were extremely impressed at how well he was keeping his composure tonight.

“You’re so fucking good.” You complimented through ragged breaths, eyes tightly shutting at the growing pressure.

“Go and fuck whoever you want, but you’re always gonna end up back here, baby. Cause nobody can fuck this pussy better than me, huh? Tell me I’m right baby girl, you don’t come until you do.” He bargained, pulling out so just the tip was in you, slowing down his thrusts. You didn’t want to give in, to give him the satisfaction regardless of it being the truth, but based on how he was acting tonight you really believed if you didn’t confirm his suspicions he wouldn’t let you come, and you just might actually die if that was the case. Literally whining, tears springing to your eyes, your feet dug into his shoulders in an attempt to make him go deeper. So fucking close, your muscles hurt from the strain of being so tightly wound time and time again, “Sweetheart, I can come just like this right now if you want me to. Be like every other guy you’ve been with recently. Is that what you want?” His tone was dripping in arrogance and his shallow thrusts were successfully torturing you. How this side of him could be completely infuriating but completely erotic at the same time was beyond your comprehension at the moment. You had never been so distraught, allowing your pride to go out the window without a second thought.

“Matt-“ you felt the tears starting to run down your face, “please. It’s you- it’s yours. Need you, always need you. Please let me come.” Your breathing was ragged, hips doing their best to entice him closer, pull him in on their own accord.

“Good girl.” He praised leaning down to kiss the tears away softly, “you’re so damn pretty.” He smiled genuinely, studying your features.

“Fuck me, Captain.” You smirked, although enjoying the snippet of fluff. Laughing, Casey returned to his previous position.

“Remember you asked for it.” He teased throwing you a wink before flipping you over on your stomach, ramming into you harder this time. The bunch of nerves you had felt plenty of times tonight already quickly returning full force, Matt was finally starting to lose his cool, grunts falling from his lips.

“Fuck, [Y/N].” Looking over your shoulder you could see his eyes were between your legs intently watching where you two met, a sight you wish you had the ability to see.

“Matt-“ a broken sob fell from your lips, “so close.” You were attempting to move your hips with his but the brutal pace he had set was hard to match. He wrapped an arm around your waist pulling you up against his chest. Pressing the fingers from his right hand against your clit, rubbing soft circles.

“Go ahead, gorgeous.” He encouraged into your ear kissing the back of your neck, seconds later your body practically convulsed finally letting go, back arching off into his chest, a loud moan echoing in the room. Matt having to hold you up completely as you worked through your high. He followed soon after filling you with warmth every time his dick twitched. A feeling you missed more than you’d like to admit.

You lay in silence after collapsing on the mattress, legs shaking, Casey’s head dug into your neck trying to resurrect his breath, heart beating rapidly against your back. The intensity finally dwindling, causing an unwelcome sob to break out of you at the sudden change of environment. Matt’s head shot up at the sound.

“Hey hey hey, what’s wrong? I’m sorry, was it too much?” Matt’s body went rigid concern lighting his eyes, as he took your face between his hands.

“No, not at all. It was incredible. I’m sorry, I’m being ridiculous.” You tried to brush him off, a wet laugh coming out, attempting to get out from under him and off the bed.

“No, come here. Talk to me.” He repositioned you so you were now laying on top of him against his chest. Holding you tightly.

“It’s just…I’ve had the most terrible week. Truly awful and all I’ve wanted, all I’ve craved every single day was a Matthew Casey hug.” You sniffed, shaking your head embarrassingly. His arms tightened around you at your confession, dropping a kiss against your head, and the familiarity did exactly as you assumed it would, tension releasing from your body, relaxation taking over in its place.

“Baby, I’ll I’ve wanted to do this week is give you a hug. I’m right here. I’m always right here. No matter what, I’m yours, baby, and I will wait however long it takes for you to come back to me and realize that I’m the guy for you.” His hand was trailing soothingly up and down your back.

“I’m just scared, Matt.” You had never given him a true reason for leaving, claiming you just didn’t know if you felt right in a relationship at the time.

“Of what?” He asked.

“Having to watch you run into burning buildings has never been my favorite regardless of how good you look in bunker gear, but..after Otis it’s just been unbearable, and I just thought maybe if I broke it off it would get easier. It would just feel uneasy like with Kelly or Stella rather than crippling.” You explained, emotions getting the better of you as you thought back to losing Otis and having to watch Katie crumble.

Chloe had the same thoughts and luckily for Cruz she learned to accept it, but she also didn’t have to physically witness it. She didn’t have to worry every time Boden’s face ticked with concern when he didn’t like something. Didn’t have to count down the seconds waiting for him to reappear in the smoke when Boden pulled them. Didn’t have to beg your shaking hands to stay steady and focus on the patient when you heard an accidental pass alarm.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me this?” His voice was so calm, so full of sympathy.

“What were you gonna do, Matt?” He wasn’t going to stop being a firefighter and you’d never want him to.

“I don’t know.” He admitted, “Has it worked?” It was a question he didn’t want to ask, but one he needed an answer to.

“Far from it,” you shook your head swallowing more tears, “I don’t know if I’ll ever get over it, losing Otis, watching everyone fall apart maybe it’s something I need to talk to someone about, but regardless it’s just made me realize god forbid something did happen I’d be so pissed I didn’t spend everyday with you that I could. I love you with my entire being Matthew Casey, and I think it’s pretty clear that’ll never stop.” You finally looked up at him.

“This is the dick lust talking isn’t it?” He joked after a beat of silence allowing you to laugh, smacking him in the chest. “I promise I will do everything I can to always come out for you.” He tucked a piece of hair behind your ear closing his eyes to kiss you on the head.

“I think jealous Matt is my new favorite Matt.” You grinned eyes sparkling.

“Hawkins is just lucky his face is still intact.” He growled, only confirming your new opinion.

“I’m hungry.” You attempted to steer off the topic, accompanied by your stomach rumbling.

“We did put in quite a workout.” Matt joked kissing your cheek, “I can order some pizza let me just see if Severide is home.” He jumped up to put a pair of sweatpants on, throwing you a Chicago Fire sweatshirt of his basking in his scent overwhelming you.

“God bless him if he is.” You winced thinking back to his comment in the bar earlier. Throwing the piece of clothing on as Matt disappeared into the hallway.

Two minutes later the man in question appeared in your doorway, arms crossed against his chest, a cocky look on his face.

“You seriously need to learn these walls aren’t soundproof.” He quipped, forcing a blush on your cheeks.

“You know what? You had to have seen the trail of clothes when you got home you knew what you were getting into.” You defended, shrugging.

“I’m just kidding, I got home like two minutes ago. Figured I’d give you some time when neither of you happened to come back to the bar.” He laughed when you rolled your eyes, walking to sit on the bottom of the bed, “I’m sorry for telling him about Hawkins by the way. I was just trying to kick his ass into gear.”

“Alright, it’s ordered, 35 minutes.” Matt announced as he reappeared in the room, climbing back into his bed beside you pulling you into his side.

“Casey, your girl almost took down an attorney today. Who by the way wasn’t very happy when you never returned.”

It was a perfect end to a not so perfect week.

#Matt Casey #matthew casey #matt casey imagine #matt casey smut #matt caseyxreader #mattcaseyxreader #matt casey x reader #chicago fire imagine #chicago fire x reader

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thefiery-phoenix · 8 months ago

Note

how about yandere boyfriend h/c for Gun Park 🫶🏻

Sure

YANDERE PARK JONGGUN HEADCANONS

If you have this psychotic fighting obsessed lunatic after you as a yandere or as a significant other, I seriously pray for you and your mental health. He's the cause of people's trauma and gave at least half the lookism characters their own sob backstories. You'd meet him in middle school. He's the heir of the famous Japanese Yakuza organization of the Yamazaki clan. You didn't want anything to do with him at first. He was the poster boy for being a troublemaker and kept beating people up left and right. You hated his cruelty towards the other students and wanted to stay the heck away from him. One day however you accidentally bumped into him and you spilled some water over his shirt. His bodyguards simply glared at you menacingly as Gun stared at you with a cold stoic look on his face. However when you apologized profusely with a flustered embarrassed expression on his face, a small smirk formed on his lips as he watched you with an amused expression, trying to wipe his shirt with that cute little handkerchief of yours

You've managed to intrigue him now, congratulations because you have a stalker on your trail. He quietly observes you in the classes, how you're always quick to answer the questions asked by the teacher, how you're so eager to finish doing your homework...you were such a goody two shoes, the typical girl next door and he found your personality rather amusing. He felt like a predator watching his pretty little prey and he felt a surge of power rush through him. He found out everything about you within 10 minutes and during the lunch period he quietly left a bottle of your favorite drink and left

He promised himself he'd never have time for silly frivolous distractions like love and that nonsense. He was supposed to destroy everyone in his path to attain his great title of becoming the king of the second generation, so why couldn't he fight you when he was about to hit some random moron because they'd dared to challenge him. "Leave. This doesn't concern you" he said with his usual cold look on his face as a slight flash of irritation flashed in his eyes. Why on earth would you defend someone so weak and insignificant when you're supposed to be by his side? Do you not know you belong to him now? However when he sees you extending your arms out and looking at him with a slight angry determined pout and asking him to leave the student alone, for the first time, he actually listened to someone and it was you. An amused smirk formed on his face. "Aww...how cute, a little princess is trying to be a hero...just know things won't always work out your way and you'll need someone like me in the end to protect you...I'll wait for that day to come" said Gun with a slight hint of malice dancing manically in his eyes as he left

A few years later you've heard of his fearful and dangerous reputation around South Korea of how he's busy terrorizing the other gangs with another blonde pest named Goo. However you had no intention of getting involved in things like gang wars and such, your only objective was to just survive high school and get a decent job and make a life of your own. If you thought for a moment he's stopped watching you, you're absolutely wrong. He's always on the lookout for you and is always keeping an eye on you. The other day some random guy started hitting on you despite your repeated attempts of refusing him

"She said no you lousy insect..get lost before I murder you" said a familiar cold voice as he came out of the shadows in his long black suit and black glasses as he smoked a cigarette and glared at the man. "Who the hell are you to tell me what to-" said the man but couldn't finish his sentence as Gun ended up grabbing him by his neck with his hand and flung him to the nearby. He then put out his cigarette on top of the man's unconscious head as he smirked at you. "Well princess...it's been a while since we've met" he said as he strode closer to you. He surveyed your features, you didn't change since the last time he saw you. However what drew him towards you was your childlike naivety and innocence. Something he wanted for himself

"I'll be upfront with you...I don't play games. Go out with me. And don't you dare refuse, you know you don't have that option" he said as he leaned closer to you just to make you feel more flustered which he was getting a kick out of. You sighed and agreed to go out with him as he smiled evilly at you. But deep down, he could feel his heart melt slightly at your acceptance. What a good little doll you were, doing whatever he asked from you

As a yandere, he would be possessive, obsessive and manipulative as well. He's not above to using other people as mere chess pieces just to get whatever he wants from you. But the bright side is, he doesn't hurt you, physically or emotionally. Despite him not being too fond of the idea of romance, he has a pretty good idea of what to do with a partner. He likes taking you out to nice fancy restaurants where there's a private booth so you won't be able to squeal for help. This sadistic MF here loves and lives to see you squirm and get flustered. Don't get too surprised when this jerk here keeps running his hands down your thigh with a smirk on his face

He ALWAYS knows your location, despite you not even telling him. A certain purple haired brat keeps him informed as insufferable as he might be. If you've guessed it was Kouji then good job, you win a cookie. Another blonde psychopath who goes by the name Goo keeps him informed as well. You're not supposed to go anywhere without telling your man where you're going. He'll always be stalking you from the shadows, you're never really alone. He doesn't want you getting involved in gang fights and crew messes and stuff. When you asked him to fight you, he simply cracked a sadistic amused grin. A few seconds later you found yourself on the ground as he pet your head and chuckled softly. "Naive little princesses like you aren't supposed to be in gang fights..." he said as he softly caressed your cheek

He'd rather take this to the grave than admit this out loud but he loves it when you rake your fingers through his hair. He feels like all the walls in his heart are breaking down and he lets out a soft contended hum of approval. Had it been Goo doing that, his fingers would have been bent at an unnatural angle and would have to deal with his incessant whining. He also likes to hold you and have you on his lap. He likes the physical intimacy. Plus the view is great too, there's a reason he wears glasses you know...this shameless perv 💀

Don't underestimate his power. The second you try to leave him or get away from him, he'll end up kidnapping you. He has his own reasons, selfish reasons to be precise. Scream, cry and throw as many number of tantrums as you want, you won't be leaving him anytime soon. There's no way you'll be able to even fight him so the sooner you get that silly little thought from your pretty little head, the better it would be for everyone involved. He'll just think you might need some time to adjust and he'll give you your space. However when you try kicking and punching him, he'll just take them with an amused smirk on his face and coo at you describing your hits compared to that of a bratty little child trying to hit someone

He'd spoil the hell out of you though, whatever your little heart desires it's yours. Just say the word. He also likes it when he comes back from a fight and you patch him up and he can't help but lean in slightly into your touch as he looks at you with a soft affectionate look, reserved only for you, the special one in his heart. Of course, he might be a cocky little jerk to get deliberately injured in fights at times just to feel your touch and to see how adorable you look when you're all concerned and fussing over him. Goo will eventually call him out on his BS only for Gun to whack him across the head with a slight smirk but he wouldn't deny it

Now, as for the people who dare to steal you away from him or try to take you away from him...not even the gods would be able to save them. He will have no mercy when it comes to such people. Perhaps if he's feeling a tad bit merciful and he wants to get home to you quickly, he'll just beat them up till they're literally hospitalized for a month. Or else it's straight up death in the most gruesome and horrendous manner possible. He does not hold back and will go even feral than usual. Some lousy moron tried to take pictures of you while you were unaware of it a few days ago. Gun didn't even bother to hesitate to break the punk's hand and crush it in one go, silently vowing to murder the little pest later on in the night

Don't even bother trying to escape from him, you'll just be making him laugh at this point. He doesn't even need any help tracking you down, like I said before, he'll always know where you are. He can read you like an open book and knows what your thoughts are. He might be cold and aloof at times but he does like cuddling with you and petting your head affectionately. As much as you nag him to quit smoking, that's something he wouldn't give up on. But he finds it amusing and endearing how fussy you get about it and will pull you onto his lap and quickly capture your lips in a soft yet passionate kiss

Ultimately at the end of the day, no matter how ruthless he is he just wants to come back to you and have you in his arms, right where you belong...

#yandere lookism #yandere lookism characters #yandere lookism characters x reader #yandere gun x reader #yandere gun park headcanons #yandere gun park scenarios #yandere gun park oneshots #yandere gun park imagines #yandere park jonggun headcanons #yandere park jonggun #yandere park jonggun x reader #dark lookism #dark lookism x reader #dark lookism characters #dark lookism characters x reader #lookism #lookism x reader #lookism headcanons

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beegomess · 4 months ago

Text

Dark Paradise | Theodore Nott

Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated 🫶🏼

01. Invisible Flirts

The music was loud, and there was a lot of noise from some students around Matthew, who was trying to down an entire bottle of Firewhisky. Pansy and Y/N had drinks in hand when they threw themselves onto the dark couch next to Draco and Blaise.

Draco and Zabini were sharing a joint when the blond offered it to the sister sitting next to Pansy.

— You’re a terrible brother, you know that? — Y/N had a smile as she reached out to take it between her fingers and took a drag.

— Imagine if our father saw you now? — Everyone burst into laughter; Draco and Blaise couldn’t stop laughing, considering their eyes were already extremely red.

— What are you guys laughing so much about? — Nott approached and sat in an armchair in front of his friends.

— You missed the big joke Draco told about what it would be like if your father saw them now. — Pansy said, emphasizing that it wasn’t really funny, just that they were very high. — Where have you been anyway? I haven’t seen you all night. — Parkinson hinted.

— Around. — Nott answered simply and noticed the attention he was getting from Y/N’s eyes while she took another drag of her cigarette. Theodore didn’t look away from Y/N, which would normally make her look away from him, but in her current state, embarrassment was not an issue. However, both their faces were expressionless, revealing nothing about each other.

Y/N only looked away when she saw Astoria Greengrass, a year younger than Daphne, making out with Adrian Pucey in the middle of the party. Daphne walked past the two and made a face of disgust, making Pansy and Y/N laugh. Pansy glanced to see that Theodore still hadn’t looked away from Y/N.

— What’s her plan this time? — Pansy asked Daphne, who was sitting on the coffee table between the sofas, turning her back to Theodore.

— According to her, the plan is to hook up with someone from Draco’s social circle and get closer to Y/N. — Daphne rolled her eyes as she spoke, and everyone began to pay attention, letting out small laughs.

— Is she really getting close to me just out of interest? — Y/N put her right hand on her chest, pretending to be offended by the revelation.

— Yes, but she always talks about how she thinks you’re pretty and that she wanted to be friends with you too. — Daphne said with irony, somewhat coldly as she laughed at her sister.

— Oh Merlin, she thinks like she’s five years old. — Theodore added, drawing everyone’s attention to him quickly.

— Well, I’m sure you didn’t mention that Pucey was once one of the lucky ones Y/N got physically involved with. — Pansy said, expecting a response from Daphne.

— Believe me, I did. — Y/N looked incredulous. — That’s why he was the chosen one for the night. — The three girls burst into laughter.

— Good to know you’re passing along things about my private life. — Y/N said playfully, as she didn’t really mind the situation.

However, Theodore, who was paying more attention to the conversation, just drank his drink, without laughing or reacting to it. He was only thinking about how Y/N managed to silence Adrian so he wouldn’t spread to everyone that he was with the most popular and desired girl at Hogwarts.

[...]

At breakfast, all the friends had a clear expression of exhaustion from the previous night. It was certainly not a good idea to have parties before a day of classes.

— Good morning. — Astoria approached the group cheerfully but didn’t receive the same enthusiasm.

— Shh, no need to shout, Greengrass. — Blaise had his eyes squinted due to the light in the Great Hall. He was exaggerating; the girl spoke normally, but he seemed too sensitive.

— Sorry. — She shrugged. — I just thought I’d invite you to go dress shopping tomorrow for the winter ball next week. — Y/N, Pansy, and Daphne exchanged glances, remembering the girl's plan to get closer to them, even though she already had friends in her year. — Adrian invited me yesterday to go with him, and I accepted.

— Now, if he remembers that, that’s another thing. — Matthew, who was next to Y/N, spoke quietly and laughed. He immediately received an elbow from Y/N.

— Ouch!

— Sorry, but my mother already sent me a dress for the ball. — Y/N said gently.

— Oh, and who are you going with? — The girl seemed to no longer care about the description. Everyone in the hall fell silent, waiting for Draco’s sister’s answer. Y/N felt the pressure; she knew that if she said she was going alone, her week would be full of boys chasing her, and under the pressure of the moment, she needed to think quickly.

— I’m going with Theodore, aren’t I, Theodore? — Her answer echoing throughout the hall made the eyes widen. Nott looked up, somewhat surprised, until she nudged his leg from under the table, making him clear his throat with the contact.

— Yes... Yes, we’re going together. — All the friends looked at them in confusion. Draco had his eyebrows furrowed; they had never been close, and now they were going to the ball together?

— Enough with the interrogation! — Daphne said, giving her sister a fierce look. — Don’t you have a class now?

Everyone continued with breakfast after the younger Greengrass left. Pansy wouldn’t have the next class with Y/N but made a mental note to ask her about this news. She wondered if something was going on between them; she wouldn’t be surprised. Y/N always knew how to hide her affairs very well.

Y/N, however, tried to sit next to Theodore in Potions class, but when she arrived, there was already a Hufflepuff sitting next to him. Y/N mentally cursed herself for not hurrying at breakfast. Theodore was very handsome and never lacked options for girls, and now, close to the ball, all of them were throwing themselves at him, even though they had heard minutes ago about him being Y/N Malfoy’s date.

The girl sat at the table behind him and decided to pass him a folded note while everyone began taking notes from the board.

"Thanks for this morning; if I told the truth, I wouldn’t be at peace this week. I hope I haven’t ruined any of your invitations to other girls; in fact, I’ll see someone else to go with me today, I promise."

Theodore took the note and smiled slightly as he read, the girl next to him seemed to try to stretch to read his reply.

"Don’t worry, I didn’t have anyone in mind to bring either. We can go together if you want..."

Y/N took the folded piece of parchment from her side of the table and smiled as well at the reply.

"Although I don’t believe that Theodore Nott, so acclaimed among the girls, doesn’t have any prospects, I accept to go with you."

And again, the few words made him smile, responding with one last thing.

"I’m pleased to know about my fame among you."

Y/N laughed at the response, drawing attention in the silent room.

— Am I interrupting something, Miss Malfoy? — Snape looked coldly at her, making her immediately stop smiling.

— Oh, no. Sorry, professor. — And then, quickly, he went back to teaching.

Throughout the rest of the day, Y/N felt strange. His gaze was still extremely indecipherable to her, but it attracted her more and more. In recent months, their glances seemed to have increased in frequency. Sometimes, they would catch each other looking. Y/N felt Nott observing her while she read in the common room late at night. It was her ritual to always read a bit when the common room was empty; she liked to enjoy the silence, but when Theodore noticed the habit, he started to "accidentally" find her there day after day.

"If I didn’t know you, I’d say you were following me." Y/N said, smiling at him one night. Theodore could say it was the first time he felt truly nervous around a girl, but he maintained his composure and just smiled, staying there in silence while watching her hands turn the pages.

— And what’s this about you going to the ball with Nott? — Pansy asked, putting on a pair of socks before getting into bed.

— Good point, Pans. — Daphne turned from the vanity where she was applying products to her face. — So, Y/N?

— It was just to throw off the other boys. — She said without taking her eyes off the book.

— So, you’re not really going with him? — Pansy insisted.

— I am; we’re short on dates and decided to leave it that way. — Y/N continued scanning the words on the page.

— You and Nott? Short on dates for a ball? — Y/N nodded, pretending indifference. — Hmm, right, I see. — Pansy said with a mischievous smile, hinting at something that Y/N chose to ignore, as Parkinson often did this just by talking to another boy.

_______________________________

xoxo, bee🫶🏼✨ next chapter>>>

#theodore nott #theodore nott x reader #theodore nott smut #slytherin #y/n #draco x reader #harrypotter #harry potter #hp #tom riddle #draco #draco malfoy #mattheo riddle #theodore nott x y/n

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updownlately · 11 months ago

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you said, ‘forever’ (and i almost bought it)

| steph catley x reader | angst | 0.9k | a/n: okay so i feel like i need to put the warning that this is purely fiction here. i've got nothing against any of the people mentioned in this fic lol. in fact i love them all. but anyways, i read @reminiscingtonight's fic australia a few days ago and it just hasn't left my mind (it's a masterpiece if you ask me). and so it prompted this idea :) hopefully this is decent bc i wrote it all at 3am but yeah, happy reading amigos! 🫶

~~~

You don’t know why you did this to yourself.

You really don’t.

All you know is that your stomach’s dropping six feet under and you have no one but yourself to blame.

Oddly enough, you shouldn’t even be feeling this.

You shouldn’t be feeling your heart break into two, chest tightening impossibly as your stomach knots and your throat closes up.

The team’s just won the derby and you should feel elated. You should be celebrating like a maniac, probably joining Katie and Beth as they run around the field celebrating with the crowd.

You should be joining Kyra as she goes around and sprays people with her water bottle.

You should be doing the victory lap with Viv and Cloe.

What you shouldn’t be doing is just looking towards the crowd by the bench- the friends and family section.

You shouldn’t be staring at Steph, your hands pressed tightly to your sides in a somewhat successful attempt to hide how much they’re shaking.

You also probably shouldn’t be swallowing hard, your breath shaky as thoughts of what if run endlessly through your mind.

You want to tear your eyes away, forget the way she immediately ran to the stands to wrap her arms around someone that wasn’t you.

You want to ignore the way her hold around him is so easy, so fitting, like it was meant to be.

You desperately want to forget that she ever existed to you as anything more than a teammate

But you can’t find it in yourself to, instead choosing to let yourself suffer, lump in your throat getting bigger with each passing second.

You hate that it’s those three words that come to your mind when you see them together - ‘meant to be’- the words like poison on your tongue.

Jaw clenching as you feel your eyes burn, cheeks colouring as you anger begins to course through you, you will yourself to look away, head turning to the side as you try and focus on Victoria chasing Kyra around with her own bottle

The image of her in another’s embrace is seared into your mind though, haunting you even as you’re turned away.

There’s still a bitter taste in your mouth.

You know it’s childish, but you hate that the three words are being used for someone that isn’t you and her.

You hate that it’s what your mind went to.

It used to be you.

You two were meant to be.

It’s what she said to you years ago, when the two of you were lying in your shared bedroom back in Portland.

Back when the world felt right, with her in your arms, her little huffs of laughter at your stupid jokes filling the otherwise silent night.

Back when love felt right- when it felt like a hug, a warm blanket tucking you in, like the warm sunshine on a cold winter night.

When love felt anything but like this- like the taste of blood from the way you were biting your cheek in an attempt to distract yourself from the cruel pain in your chest.

Like anything but the feeling of your nails digging into your palm as you tried to direct your focus to the pitch, to the fans, to the team- anywhere really- anywhere but towards the blonde you once called yours.

You two were meant to be, she’d said.

Whispered into the inches of space between you as she’d looked in your eyes, moonlight making her look more angelic than ever, her hands intertwining with yours as she’d tucked herself into your side.

She’d promised you forever that night, a gentle kiss sealing the words.

‘Whatever happens, it’s you and me.’

All that only to go and break your heart months later, Arsenal contract signed easily, a shitty letter apologizing for leaving- a letter you now kept shoved in a cardboard box in the back of your closet, along with all of the other mementos from your three years together.

You two were forever, she’d sworn.

And yet, here you were, head thrown back, eyes pointing at the sky as you willed for the tears in your eyes to not fall.

Shaking your head as you took a shuddering breath, you brought the bottom hem of your jersey to cover your face, covertly wiping the single tear that escaped you.

How was it that you’d won today and yet somehow all that you could feel was the sickening feeling of your stomach turning?

How was it that all you could think about was what you used to have, mind wrapping around the fact that at the end of the day, win or lose against the blues, you’d already lost something greater than any derby would ever be.

Running a hand over your face, you did your best to plaster a fake smile on your face, betraying the way you wanted to curl up into a ball and just comfort your shattered heart.

Swallowing your emotions down, you put your absolute focus on making sure you didn’t look behind you- didn’t let your heart break again.

Instead, walking up to Lia and Noelle, you let yourself fall into step with them as pieces of your broken heart trailed behind you on the pitch.

‘Maybe’, you concluded bitterly, ‘maybe this ‘falling in love’ thing just wasn’t meant for you.’

#we don't proofread around here anymore #steph catley x reader #steph catley imagine #steph catley #woso fanfics #woso x reader #woso imagine #woso one shot #woso community #woso #my writing #blurb #angst #ysf

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mrsroosterbradshaw · 4 months ago

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travelin’ soldier

bartender!reader x bradley bradshaw

summary: in which bradley is about to get deployed and walks into the hard deck and strikes a conversation with a pretty bartender. she keeps him company whilst he is deployed.

a/n: dw i know this isn’t geographically accurate but please bear with me 🫶

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

It was just another regular shift bartending at the Texas Tavern in Huston, Texas for Ellie Lynch. She had to restock the bar, wipe the counters, mix drinks for customers, and repeat the process over and over again. She was wiping down the counter when she heard the bell ding, signaling someone had just walked in. A tall, muscular man with the best looking mustache and sandy curly hair that Ellie had ever seen before caught her eye as he walked through the front door and sat right in front of Ellie at the bar.

“Welcome into the Hard Deck!!” She greeted him with a sweet southern drawl that sounded like music to Bradley’s ears and an innocent, welcoming smile in which he returned. “What can I get for you today, sir?”

“Hi.” Bradley said. Ellie could tell he was shy and he had a hint of sadness lingering behind his eyes. “Could I just get a coors light, please?”

“Of course.” Ellie responded and gave him a smile.

Ellie grabbed a cold coors light from the fridge, popped the bottle cap off, and set the bottle in front of Bradley. “Here you go, sir.” She said softly, looking into Bradley’s big, brown eyes.

“Thank you, darling. I have an odd question, but would you mind sitting down for a while and talking to me, I’m feeling a little low.” He asked the blonde behind the counter.

Ellie gave him a sympathetic smile and relied with, “Of course. I’m off in an hour and I know where we can go.”

“Thank you.” Bradley replied before taking a swig of his beer. “I’m Bradley Bradshaw by the way. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Eleanor Lynch, but my friends call me Ellie. The pleasure is all mine Mr. Bradshaw.” She said to him. “So what brought a fellow like you to Huston?”

“I’m a naval aviator. I’m stationed here for the next few days.” Bradley explained. They talked until her shift was over an hour later.

After Ellie grabbed all of her things, she and Bradley walked down to the pier and sat along the side. “Thank you for agreeing to talk to a complete stranger and I bet you got a boyfriend, but I don’t care. I’m going to be deployed in a few days and I got no one to send a letter to. Would you mind if I send one back here to you?” Bradley asked shyly.

“Of course Bradley. I would love that.” She relied and grabbed his hand, interlocking their fingers.

After talking for a few hours, Ellie bid Bradley goodnight and went home. When she got home, she called her mom to tell her all about the handsome soldier she met while working. Her mom picked up the phone and all she had to say to Ellie was, “Eleanor, I think you are too young for him and far too young to be waitin’ for the love of a travelin’ soldier.”

The next few days, Ellie and Bradley got to know each other really well. But, alas, the day of Bradley’s deployment came. She drove him to the base and hugged him goodbye. They promised to write to each other and Ellie kept that promise.

So the letters came from a naval base in California then Vietnam and Bradley told Ellie of his feelings and how it might be love, and all the things that he was so scared of.

Ellie found herself checking her mailbox twice a day, waiting for a letter from Bradley. On one particular Saturday, she checked her mailbox, not expecting to find anything since his last letter was from weeks ago, but she found a letter from Vietnam and knew it was from her Bradley.

She opened the envelope and grew teary eyed from what Bradley wrote, “My dear Ellie, I spend every day thinking about you and how I was so lucky to have ran into you before I left for this deployment. I’ve never felt this way before or towards anyone and I’m scared that it might be love. I’m so scared of love while being in the navy because of my parents. My mom and dad were so in love and then one day my dad passed away in an plane ejecting accident and I vowed to never make any woman feel the way my mom felt after my dad passed if I died. That was until I met you. I’m confessing this to you because it’s getting kinda rough over here and I think of that day of us sitting on the pier and I close my eyes and see your pretty smile. Don’t worry, but I won’t be able to write for a while. I’m not saying anything will happen, but just in case I had to confess that to you. I love you Eleanor Lynch. With all my heart and that scares me. I have to go, please continue writing to me even though I won’t be able to write back. Sincerely, your Bradley.”

Ellie cried that night. She cried because she missed Bradley and was worried about his safety. She just wanted her Bradley back.

A week had passed since she got the letter and everything felt as though it was back to normal. Well other than the fact Ellie was crying herself to sleep every night. Ellie was working with her coworker, Dusty, on a slow Tuesday with the news playing softly on the tv behind her. She was minding her business while pouring drinks when the news caught her attention.

The news headline was ‘local veterans in Vietnam found dead’. Ellie gasped lightly, dropped the glass she was holding, and gripped the bar to help her regain her balance. “Ellie are you alright?” Dusty asked, but Ellie didn’t hear him with the loud ringing in her ears. She had to get out of there. Her mind was running a million miles per second with thoughts like ‘what if they are talking about Bradley’ and ‘I hope it’s not my Bradley’. Her vision blurred as she tried to get around Dusty. When Dusty’s arms grabbed Ellie, she collapsed and began sobbing. Dusty was confused on what was happening but then he heard the news and it all clicked.

Ellie had been talking about Bradley nonstop at work, gushing about something romantic he said in his letters or the way he always addressed her as ‘his Ellie’. Dusty could tell they were head over heels for each other.

Dusty held Ellie as she broke down and drove her home. Ellie was devastated. She wasn’t eating or had any motivation to do anything. This went on for a week and Dusty and Ellie’s family were worried about her. One evening she was tucked into her bed, like she had been since noon, and cried at the thought of how Bradley said he loved her and how she will never be able to say it back.

Until she heard the doorbell ring.

Ellie was so confused on who could be at her door at this time of evening. She wiped her tears and walked to the front door. As she approached it, all she could think about was how she desperately wanted it to be Bradley behind the door, but in her mind, it was impossible because he was dead.

Ellie slowly opened her door to reveal a very much alive Bradley Bradshaw. All Ellie could do was stare at him. Was she dreaming? Was this some kind of sick joke?

“Hi Ellie.” Bradley rasped.

Before Ellie’s mind could even comprehend what she was doing, she jumped onto Bradley and sobbed into his neck. Bradley dropped his large duffle bag on the porch and caught her and with one hand on her back and the other one on her head, clung to her like he was a kid and someone was threatening to take away his favorite teddy bear. They stayed like that for a while before Bradley spoke up, “Ellie, please look at me.”

Ellie shook her head. “No, I don’t know if this is real or I’m dreaming. And if I’m dreaming I don’t ever want to wake up.” Ellie replied.

“Ellie. You aren’t dreaming. I’m back.” He said with a smile.

Ellie finally allowed him to put her down and she stepped back, finally looking at him. He looked more muscular, if that was even possible, and had slight beard stubble. But in the end, it was still her Bradley standing in front of her.

“Bradley, I thought you died.” She said, looking him straight in the eyes while hers were tearing up. “I was so sad. I didn’t know what to do.”

“Well I’m here now. And I won’t ever leave you. I would have written to you but after the mission, the admiral wanted us to be shipped back as soon as possible. I’m so sorry I made you worry. That was never my intention and I never want to put you through that again. All I could think about was you during my time over there. I would talk about you every chance I got and I kept all of your letters-” Bradley ranted.

“Bradley, shut up” Ellie cut him off. Did he hear her right?

“Wha- What?” He nervously stuttered. “What do you mean shut up-” Ellie cut off Bradley with a kiss. Time seemed to stand still as they shared their first kiss, a moment filled with innocence, sweetness, and the promise of young love. The world around them faded away, leaving only the sound of their hearts beating in unison.

“Bradley, I love you too.” Ellie said after breaking the kiss. “I was so scared I wouldn’t be able to tell you those four words in person.”

“Oh thank God.” Bradley replied. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you so much, Eleanor Lynch.”

“I love you so much too, Bradley Bradshaw.” Ellie replied before kissing him again. “And by the way, I kept all your letters too.”

#bradley bradshaw x oc #bradley rooster bradshaw #deployment #us navy #top gun maverick #bradley bradshaw x pilot!reader #viral #fanfic #bradley bradshaw fic #bradley bradshaw x female reader #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw imagine #bradley rooster bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw x mitchell!reader #Spotify

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wonwoosthetic · 2 years ago

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Hello, can you do something for Javier Pena? Like with a fellow DEA agent and partner, and he's soft for them (not that soft cause that'll not be him anymore, but he helps them more and follows them on missions a lot). and like he and murphy talks about how much his "ways" had changed after meeting and getting together with her, and yesh like fluff fluff and fluff makeout cause I loved that in that one joel fic

Rugged and Soft

warnings – mentions of drugs and police stuff, but this is so freaking fluffy, mentions of sexy times towards the end but nothing explicit

word count – 11.3k (istg this always happens)

a/n: aaaaaaaaahhhh thank you soooo much for requesting this!!! I LOVED writing this so much😫😫 istg I’m in love with him and I hope I did the character justice ˙ᵕ˙ you’re absolutely right, too soft wouldn’t be him anymore but I still think he'd just adore his partner so much, so they'd get to see a different side of him, so I hope you liked what I came up with🫶🏼

requests – open ˙ᵕ˙

Javier and Steve were enjoying their last drops of alcohol and final cigarettes for the night on the balcony while you were helping Connie in the kitchen. While the two men were engulfed in a serious conversation about the possible next steps in their plan, Javi's eyes were daring to get fixed on your silhouette any second.

The sudden crying coming from the baby girl the Murphys had recently taken in caught your attention.

"Ah, crap," Connie looked down at her hands covered in water and dish soap, "Could you-" She knew, she didn't even have to ask you twice, you loved that little girl.

Without hesitating, you nodded, whispering a quick, "Yeah yeah, sure," and rushed out of the room to enter the bedroom where the crib for the baby was. Javier's gaze followed you as you exited, only coming back seconds later with the crying girl in your arms. He watched you gently bouncing up and down, trying to calm her down, petting her head with your delicate fingers as you swiftly moved around the room.

He could've sworn there was a sudden weird sensation happening in his heart- no, his stomach- no, his brain? God knows where. Something was happening in his body, and he couldn't help it. It almost made him panic not knowing what the fuck was going on with him, but it was quickly interrupted by a slap to his chest by his colleague.

"Eyy," Steve chuckled, "I know that look."

"What?" The Latino scrunched his eyebrows.

The blonde man nodded towards the living room on the other side of the window, where you were now sitting down, the little girl on your lap as you tried to make her laugh.

"You're getting soft, Javi."

Peña scoffed, taking a drag from his cigarette, "You don't even know what the fuck you're talking about, Gringo." But that only made Steve laugh more.

"I know damn well what the fuck I'm talking about." Taking a sip from his beer bottle gave the two men a second of thick silence. "You know, she changed you."

"Maybe," Javier, in his typical way, spoke quietly, using that deep and rusty tone you had fallen in love with - he may have tried to brush off his co-worker's comment, but both men knew there was much more to it.

Because what Steve had said was true. Everyone knew that. At least everyone in the apartment at that time.

At work, Javier Peña may still be that cold-blooded asshole, who may not have as many 'informants' as a few years ago but still continued using his charm as often as he needed to. He had changed, just no one there knew why.

But here, in the comfort of the Murphys' place, he was just Javi. A rough man with edges that got softened down, thanks to you. A man who once was a famous womanizer and bachelor in Bogota, now turned devoted boyfriend and partner who kissed the floor you walked on.

That smug grin never left Murphy's face that was starting to annoy Peña. "Don't say maybe. You know, I'm right."

Javier put out the tobacco stick in the little bowl provided, "And even if you are, she probably just changed the worst parts of me that needed changing in the first place."

He received a nod in response. "Wouldn't fight you on that." With one last gulp, Steve finished his beer. "She definitely changed you for the better. I'm just hoping you're not getting too soft now." Making Javier scoff.

As soon as his eyes met yours through the window, he immediately was brought back to all the small moments that had turned him into the man that he was now. Because yes, Steve was right. You definitely did change him for the better.

Javier heard you before he saw you. He always did. Those familiar steps of the same shoes you had been wearing to work for the past few years had branded themselves into his brain.

You were making your way to the shared office space of you, Murphy, and Peña when your eyes fell on Javi's back that was turned to the entrance. The full head of brown thick locks you'd recognize from a mile away.

His attention was fully on the board you had hung up on the wall, pictures of Escobar and his men plastered all around and red string tying in together every single piece of information you had.

"Good morning," you waltzed up behind him, not expecting him to turn around as he seemed to be somewhere else with his head. That explained your surprise when he mumbled a quiet,

"Mornin'," back to you.

You stopped right next to him, your eyes travelling around the board. "What are you looking at?" You wondered before you caught a mug on his desk from the corner of your eye. With a smile, you walked up to it, picking it into your grip to take a sip - at this point, the three of you had started to make this a casualty.

As soon as the, what you expected to be, hot delicious beverage hit your tongue, you were quick to spit it back into the mug, a groan of disgust echoing through the room.

"Oh my God, what the fuck!" The back of your hand came up to wipe your mouth clean.

Javi turned his head to glance at you and as soon as he saw you holding the mug, he moved forwards to snatch it out of your hands.

"Why the fuck are you drinking that?" He snapped at you, putting it back on the desk.

You still looked at him in shock, "Why are you drinking that?!" A quick look at the clock made you scoff, "Javi, it's 9am."

But he just shrugged, his arms crossing in front of his chest again as he went back to look at the board. "Long night."

Long night or not, you had never been a fan of Javier's very unhealthy drinking habits. You remembered even seeing him with a whiskey glass on the day you started working for the DEA in Bogota.

With a shake of your head, you moved to his desk, throwing yourself onto his chair before your hands were opening each drawer and cupboard.

Your hasty movements caught Peña's interest. "What are you doing?"

He didn't get an answer from you at first as you waited until you found what you were looking for. You were tired of his drinking at work. Outside of it, he could do whatever he wanted - he was an adult for God's sake. But here, in the DEA's office, at work, you didn't need to have his drunk ass as a co-worker.

"Blue, what are you looking for?" He got closer to you, the nickname he and Muphy had given you in your first week dropping from his lips easily.

With a relieved sigh, you stood up again, holding up the bottle of whiskey with a proud smile, "Say goodbye to this."

"Hey-" he tried to lean forward, hoping to get a hold of the bottle, but you were quicker than him, moving past him, already on your way out the door of the office.

"What on earth do you think you're doing?" He called after you.

You turned around with a smile, "Pouring this down the drain. You're welcome!"

With a sigh, he lowered his head, shaking it and pinching the bridge of his nose.

At the same moment, Steve passed you, entering the small room with a frown, "What's she doing?" Directing his question towards Peña as he pointed at your disappearing figure.

"Giving me a fucking headache," Javier commented. His eyes found the mug on his desk again, another groan tumbling from his lips. Now he had to rely on that one cup for the rest of the day.

A soft chuckle almost escaped his lips at the memory.

"She threw my fucking alcohol away." Javier took a sip of his beer. "Only a few months after coming to the office."

Steve grinned, "Thank God. You'd be taking your morning shit with a shot of coffee and five of whiskey if she hadn't done that."

The following day, he remembered as clearly as he possibly could - how could he forget: the day that he felt the world shift. All because of one little word.

You basically skipped into the office, three cups of coffee from the shop around the corner of your apartment in your hands. Steve and he were already sitting at their designated desks, watching you and your million-dollar smile as you waltzed into the room.

"Good morning, my dear friends," you beamed at the men, settling everything onto your place, putting down your bag and taking off the jean jacket you had put on.

Steve smiled at you, slightly confused, "What's gotten you in such a good mood?" Not that it was a rarity to see you with a grin decorating your face, but it happened more than any of you would like to admit that any man in that building would ruin your mood early in the morning before you could even make your way into your shared office.

"They're finally open again!" You called out, placing a coffee cup each onto their desks. Javier smiled up at you radiating the positive energy around the room, something he had had to get used to once you started working with them.

"Who?" Murphy continued the conversation.

"The coffee shop! By my apartment. Remember? They were renovating the place, but they're finally done, and I'm getting my daily cup of coffee again."

"You mean liquid sugar?" Javi commented, earning himself a glare from you, almost making him smile. He got up from his seat, the coffee in his hands when he took a sip, interested in what the hell you may have put into his.

"Ugh," he immediately groaned at the taste.

"What?" Your big eyes locked onto his. He couldn't tell you what he really thought of it. He wasn't going to break your heart after you had just almost jumped around the room as you told them about the shop re-opening.

He swallowed the lump in his throat. "Dry."

The sound of your soft chuckle rang through his ear. Had it always sounded so angelic?

"You mean the way you're supposed to drink coffee, honey?" You patted his cheek before turning around to leave the room, on your way to get some files you had been looking for, not knowing you were leaving Javier frozen in place. That was a new nickname. He was used to 'Javi', 'jackass', 'senior' or 'idiot', but 'honey'? That was new.

With confusion written across his face, he huffed out a chunk of air he apparently had been holding, while Steve's eyes were trained on him, an amused smirk playing on his lips.

"What the fuck just happened?" The Latino wondered out loud, not noticing that he was still standing up, still not moving, only entertaining Steve even more.

"What? You've never been called honey before?" He enjoyed teasing the man. It didn't matter in what context. Teasing Javier Peña was always fun, especially when you were involved.

Javi shrugged and shook his head, snapping back into reality. "Not by her."

And that made all the difference.

"I'm just saying." Murphy's voice made the other man realise they were still on the balcony and not in the past, even though he would've enjoyed dwelling in the memories a little more. "I see the way you look at her, and we don't need a soft boy in the DEA."

Javier scoffed, throwing his beer down his throat. "Says you, you blonde-haired, blue-eyed bitch."

"But I'm not getting soft."

"And neither am I!" He argued back, making Steve snicker. He knew Javier wasn't actually getting THAT soft, but it was fun riling him up.

The two men let a few moments of silence pass, listening to the mumbles of your and Connie's conversation inside the apartment and hearing the cars drive on the dimly lit streets.

"How long do you think you'll be able to hide it?" Oh, what a good question that was. Of course, Javi knew what his colleague was talking about because he had been wondering the exact same thing. Multiple evenings and nights were spent raking through his thoughts. Was what you were doing even a good idea? How long was this going to last? Was it worth it?

He didn't even want to admit to some of the questions that had popped into his head as he felt like he shouldn't even be questioning this relationship. But since the two of you shared a workplace, it only seemed right. Right?...

Two agents were in no way supposed to be romantically involved with each other. For one, it would most definitely be going against HR regulations, and two, you'd be putting yourself and your partner in so much more danger than you or they were already in from practising this job. But it was worth it. God, was it worth it.

Javier had been happier than ever before. Calmer than before - at least when you were around him. But as beautiful and wonderful as this little bubble was that the two of you had been sharing for a good year now, there were a lot of complications you hadn't had to face yet.

The Latino leaned back against the railing of the balcony, putting down the bottle of beer on the little table next to him before lighting up his next, and hopefully last, cigarette.

"Fuck... if I knew. Probably forever."

Steve scoffed and rolled his eyes, "Oh please, you know you won't be able to do that."

With the amount of scrunching of his eyebrows that Javi had been doing all his life, it wouldn't be surprising to see early wrinkles at his yet relatively young age. "The fuck you mean by that?"

"The amount of times you almost got caught? By literally just about anyone in the office beside me? Maybe I'm talking about that." As amusing as it was to Steve, he also understood the seriousness behind the topic. He just wanted the two of you to be safe, and alert of the people around you, because it started happening more and more that either one of you would forget how suspiciously protective you could get of each other - more specifically how protective Javier could get.

"We haven't gotten caught in the past and won't get caught in the future." He simply answered, tapping the ash off the cigarette.

The blonde man crossed his arms in front of his chest, "Maybe. But maybe they'll start looking more into some of your antics," but quickly raised them in defence as soon as he caught the glare on Javi's face. "Just trying to keep you two safe."

"Oh yeah? What antics?"

Steve shrugged parodically, "Oh, I don't know, what about two weeks ago?"

The three of you were sitting in Noonan's office, right across from her, all in slightly more formal clothing than you'd usually wear.

You had announced to your partners that you had a lead on one of Escobar's men and wanted to discuss your possible ideas with the female ambassador. Let's just say the talk had turned into a slightly more heated discussion than you had planned.

"M'am, I understand your concern-"

"Well, I really don't think you do, Miss. Have I not made myself clear before?"

You nodded, continuing the conversation standing up, copying her, while the two men were sitting on each side of you, quietly listening to the two of you. "You have, Ambassador, but this is a real possible lead I have here."

"How do you know that? How do you know you can trust the information you receive?" No one was supposed to know about what you were doing to get your info. You weren't about to rat the other people out. Not to the ambassador, not to anyone.

"I have trustful sources-" A scoff coming from the older woman made you stop. "I-I just need your okay to continue-"

"And you won't get it."

"M'am-"

"Do you want a repetition of what happened in Mexico?!" The sudden raise of the woman made you shut your mouth. But not only that. Her words lingered around the room. A heavy statement. She knew she hit a weak point with that.

You lowered your head and crossed your arms as a defence mechanism while the men exchanged questioning looks.

'What happened?' Javier mouthed to Steve, but only got a headshake in return, so he directed the question to the ambassador.

"Ehm," he cleared his throat. "What... happened in Mexico? If you don't mind me asking, M'am."

The older woman leaned forward, her palms on the table and let her tongue swipe across her teeth.

She scoffed, "They don't know?" Clearly asking you.

After taking a deep breath, you shook your head, "They don't have to know."

The woman raised her voice slightly again, "They're not your co-workers, agent, they're your partners. They should, in fact, know about your lousy decisions in the past!"

"They weren't lousy!" Arguing with her felt like fighting with a parent, but currently, you were only getting scolded and barely listened to. Before she could interrupt you, you continued, now copying her tone, "My decisions were very well thought through! The problem was these stupid CIA agents that didn't know what they were doing, and it wasn't my fault that the Guadalajara were thousand steps ahead of us!"

"And what's gonna be different this time? How do you not know that Escobar isn't already ahead of you right now?"

"Because I have my informants-"

"You're starting to sound like Peña, careful," she warned you with a huff.

You took her change in attitude to take a deep breath, "You can't compare this to Mexico. What happened was completely differ-"

"Can somebody explain what the fuck happened back in Mexico?!" Steve interrupted your argument, losing his last amount of patience for which Javier was very thankful because he was just as curious and just as impatient.

Your eyes fell on the ambassador, but her hand was motioning towards you, not even batting an eye, not even interlocking glances with you. When you didn't respond, she looked at you, seeing your pleading expression, but she shook her head.

"It's not my story to tell."

You gulped. She was right. It was your story. But for another time. "I'll explain it later, this is more important right now."

"No, it's not because I'm not putting you anywhere close to one of Escobar's men."

A heavy chunk of breath fell from your lips as you looked around the room in frustration, ignoring Javier's glare and Steve's awaiting eyes.

"Then send Carrillo with me. You trust him. He can come with me," you proposed, about what the older woman seemed to think about for a second, but that was quickly interrupted by Javi's voice.

"I can go with her."

All three heads shot towards him.

"What?" You mumbled, the ambassador copying your confusion.

"What? No! Peña, don't get me wrong, but I would trust Carrillo more than you with her." As soon as those words left her mouth, you closed your eyes. She shouldn't have said that.

"Excuse me?!" Javier shot up from his seat in rage. The other man quickly followed him, ready to hold him back if anything was about to happen. "She's my partner! Not fucking Carrillo's!" You didn't ignore the possible two meanings behind the word 'partner'. There had always been a slight jealous side to your boyfriend, and unfortunately, you had found out that sometimes he had a slightly harder time containing it.

"Javi-" you tried, but he ignored you.

"I've been working with her for years, and you'd rather send someone from the Search Bloc with her?!"

The woman pointed a strict finger at him, "I suggest you watch your tone, agent." She warned him. "Carrillo has gone on undercover missions before. Successfully. So yes, I would much rather send him than you. Especially now after you just put on a show like that. What's gotten into you?" No one answered that question.

Javi huffed out in annoyance before turning to you, "You trust him more than me?"

That took you back. "W-...What does that have to do with anything?"

"Why did you suggest Carrillo instead of me?!" Now it was his time to raise his voice, earning him an eyebrow raise from the ambassador.

"Javi! It doesn't matter-"

"It fucking matters to me!"

"Guys-" Steve, who was standing behind you, tried to calm you down by placing his hands on your upper arms, but you brushed him off, continuing the fight with your partner.

"He has done things like this before, he'd be able to protect me if needed-"

"I'd be able to protect you if needed! Are you seriously questioning this now?!"

You opened your mouth again, but the loud voice of the older woman immediately shut you down and made you turn towards her.

"Both of you, stop it! Right now!" She took a deep breath. "What on earth is going on with you two?" Everyone stood quietly in front of her. She pointed at you, "Listen. I don't know what is going on in that brain of yours, nor do I understand your ways of picking these men apart psychologically. I understand and respect your devotion, but I won't be risking your life a second time." You opened your mouth, but she quickly motioned for you to be quiet. How fucking old did she think you were? But then again, you could only imagine that you looked like teenagers to her in this scene. "Now." She wiggled her finger between you and Javier. "You two. Clear up whatever the heck is going on between you two. I need you both with a clear head, not with... God, I don't even know. And you." Her eyes went to Steve, "Keep an eye on them. Seems like they're going through puberty again..." The ambassador mumbled the last part, only adding to her already disappointing, yet strict tone.

But you were not about to go down that quickly. "M'am-" you tried, but she had the upper hand once again.

"Out. I have a meeting in five."

You were gently pushed back by Steve while Javi walked beside you quietly.

The last call out from Noonan stopped you. "And if I find out that you met up with Escobar's man behind my back, I will not hesitate to send you back to the US, just so we're clear." Loud and clear. You didn't respond, but just kept on walking, a clear tension following the three of you out of the room. There was a lot to discuss.

Javi shook his head at the memory, putting out his cigarette, "Don't fucking remind me of that." He hated the way he reacted. He hated the fact that it happened in front of Noonan. But most importantly, he hated that you had kept something so significant from him.

After you had gotten back into the office, the interrogation began. You had to spill everything that had happened back in Mexico - back before you joined the DEA in Colombia. And let's just say neither Javi nor Steve was happy after listening to your story of being held hostage by the Guadalajara only days before they killed Kiki as their first target was planned to be you.

He wanted to forget everything you had told them, but he couldn't. As if your job wasn't already dangerous enough as it is, you were actually willing to go the extra mile, risking letting the same thing happen for a second time?! Just thinking about it made his blood boil.

"But I have to remind you of that," Steve stated with a sigh. "Because Noonan asked me about the 'tension' between you two. And why you were so against Carrillo all of a sudden."

"Fuck me..." Javi cursed under his breath, throwing his head back with a groan.

The blonde man scrunched his face in disgust, "Nah, thanks, I'll leave that to Blue." Getting a chuckle from the Latino, which made both of the men snicker together.

"It's not gonna be easy, you know?" Javier suddenly spoke, alerting Steve of his worries. He understood - of course, he did. But he had mentioned this to both of you from day one. He even remembered talking to Javi about that before you two were officially together.

He nodded in understanding, "I know. Just... try to keep it undercover. As best as possible. More like you did towards the beginning because you're starting to get more daring with the shit you're doing in the office. I wouldn't be surprised to find you fucking in one of the file rooms one day."

"Yeah yeah," the Latino brushed his friend off, his memory bringing him back to the older times. 'Like you did towards the beginning', but Javier had never been able to hold himself back completely.

Up the elevator, Javier walked into the hallway, on his way to the meeting you had planned with Colonel Wysession. The three of you were getting closer and closer to catching that bastard, you were sure, and now with some help, it just might be even quicker. Peña couldn't say he was looking forward to necessarily working closer with the Marine Corps, only ever trusting the division he was serving in, but he accepted what had to be done.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of familiar grunts. Too familiar grunts. Glancing to his right, he found the door to one of the file rooms slightly ajar. His hand reached out to push it further open, immediately coming to sight with a back he only know too well.

The corners of his lips curled up in amusement as he leaned against the frame, arms crossed, watching you trying to make yourself taller by standing on your tippy toes to reach for one of the boxes on the higher shelves. The entertaining scene didn't last for long though when you suddenly managed to somehow move it with your fingertips, making it tilt towards you.

Javier reacted fast. His smile dropped, and with one big step forward, he was right behind you, his arms up as he caught the heavy box with his hands while yours flew up to cover your head with a gasp escaping your throat - for one, because of the weight almost landing on you, but for two because of the person coming into the room, catching you off guard.

"Jesus, careful, cariño." You recognised the rumble of a voice belonging to your... boyfriend? No, probably still too early to call it that. Fuck buddy? Nah, it was way more than that. Anyways, that's a discussion for another time.

"Sorry," you answered him, dodging your head and moving away from Javi, so he could lower the box and bring it to one of the tables by the wall. "Thanks," you patted his shoulder before removing the lid to find the multiple files you had been looking for.

"What do you need these for?" Your partner snatched one out for himself, opening it to take a quick look.

"Wysession asked me to get them. I don't know what exactly he thinks they could help with, but oh well," you explained, brushing off the dust that got caught on your clothes.

Javier scoffed with an eye-roll, "'Course he did."

You looked through some of the pieces of paper in silence before you felt a pair of eyes not leaving your form, making you look up. Your gaze interlocked with Javi's, but he just grinned at you.

You chuckled, "What?"

He shrugged, "Nothing. I just haven't seen you today yet."

You couldn't help the smile appearing on your lips, "Well," you closed the file you were holding, "You've seen me now."

With a smirk decorating his already unique features, he slid over to be closer to you, his fingers tracing one of the strands of your hair framing your face. "I have," he leaned forward just a tad bit more, his thumb holding your chin. You could feel his lips ghosting over yours for a second before he properly kissed you, making you smile into the kiss. For a moment everything was perfect. As soon as he leaned back again, freeing you from his touch, a pout appeared on your face, making him chuckle and glide his finger over your bottom lip. "You look beautiful today, Hermosa." Before you could say anything, he placed another soft, yet meaningful peck onto your lips, breaking it off again after only a few seconds.

"You're lucky there are no cameras in here," you commented, reading to pack everything together to leave the small room. Javier looked around, analysing the corners a tiny bit more.

"Maybe there are." Which got him a slap on his chest with the file you were still holding, making him chuckle and you shake your head. He turned around to the box, "Let's get these to Wysession." You couldn't even take his place as he swiftly picked up the box that would definitely be too heavy for you, along with the other one that was already on the table - you had managed to place one there as it had been kept at chest height, but you had still been out of breath after getting it out.

"Javi, s- I can carry them." Maybe it was true, maybe not, but you didn't want him to do the dirty work that had been assigned to you.

He walked past you, stopping and nudging his head to make you walk out of the room first. "I'm sure you can. But you shouldn't have to."

On your way to the meeting room, you had started talking quietly about what you could be doing that night, as your plans until then had only been to join Javi at his place, which was more than enough for him, but you were always up to do something more.

As soon as you entered the room though, the smiles on both of your faces fell once the Colonel opened his mouth.

"Peña," he started. "I don't remember asking you to get the files."

Steve eyed the two of you suspiciously, wondering what exactly the two of you had been up to, praying it was only about getting what Wysession wanted. You took a seat beside him, sending him a quick grin to say 'Hi'.

Javier stayed by your side, the chair right next to you already behind him to sit down after snapping back at the older man. "Yeah, well you know, I just thought I'd be a nice co-worker and don't let a lady carry all of this shit."

Wysession smacked his lips, "And I think that if a woman's strong enough to be a DEA Agent, she should also be strong enough to carry a box of files."

Both of your partners noticed the deep breath you had taken, trying to hold yourself back, knowing that arguing with that man in power was only going to get you into trouble. Javi placed his comforting palm on your thigh under the table, giving it a soft squeeze, letting you know he got you.

"And if a man's confident enough to order a woman to do such thing, he should also be confident enough to do it himself. Don't you think?" He sent the Colonel a quick wink before the subject was changed in the room, and all focus was on the task at hand. Well, maybe all but yours because your mind was still holding onto the words Javi had let echo through the room.

As a small 'thank you', your hand found his that was still on your leg, your fingers wrapping around his rough ones. He got you.

"But it's good," Steve commented all of a sudden. Javi crossed his arms when a surprisingly cold wind passed by.

Yet another frown made its way onto his face. "What is?"

"That you got her," the blonde nodded towards the living room, where you had changed your seat to sit on the larger couch, you back now towards the two men. "I was sceptical at first, I'm not gonna lie-"

"I know you were," Javier remembered the talk Steve had with you and him just all too well. During dinner, whereas Connie had to sit next to him, beaming as she tried to control her big smile, just happy for you two and ready to engulf you in the biggest hug possible, squeezing you until you were begging her to stop - you had that kind of relationship - Steve was trying to stay as professional as possible, knowing how serious the situation would get if it got out that you were dating. He was just trying to help.

"But," the American defended himself, "I'm still glad you didn't listen to me when I first told you not to get too close to her. She's doing the world a favour." The confusion on Javi's face made him continue, "She's changing the one and only Javier Peña." He slapped his shoulder with a smirk as he passed his colleague, earning him a scoff in return.

The Latino had enough fresh air, and dwelling on the memories made him want to get back next to you as quickly as possible, so he joined his colleague on the way back inside.

Connie was nowhere to be seen, probably in the bedroom, but you were still occupied with the baby on your lap, that seemed to be very close to falling asleep thanks to your fingers gently tracing the outline of her face. You were always so careful - not only with babies. Javier remembered the first time he ever saw you handling a gun. He wanted to shoot every person that gave you the okay to go out in the field with a hold as you had. The Latino had to teach you how to properly keep the gun in your hand, tightly enough to not let any idiot just smack it out of your grasp.

Even the way you would hold your pens at work, filling out whatever paperwork you had to do, was almost too gentle for Javi's liking. The first time he had met you, he wondered how somebody with a voice, so soft and sweet, could work in a surrounding like theirs. But you also had a hard side to yourself. It didn't show very often, but when it did... Lord help anyone that was around you.

Out of the corner of your eyes, you noticed Javi's body directed towards you and as soon as you looked up, your eyes locked. You sent him a welcoming smile, making him grin as he walked up to you, gazing down at the little girl in your lap. You had put your feet up, the soles resting on the cushion you were sitting on, to let the Murphys' surrogate daughter rest against your upper thighs.

He reached down to brush a hand over the top of your head, getting a soft moan from you as you tilted your head back to look up at him.

"Do you wanna finish my beer?" You whispered, careful not to disturb the sleeping baby.

Javi's eyes found the almost empty bottle on the coffee table.

"You don't want it anymore?" He wondered since that had been your only drink of the entire night, and you were usually able to drink more. You shook your head in answer, "'m too tired."

It was common for you to watch your drinking very carefully, always looking out for not drinking too much, but as Javier reached down to pick up the beer bottle, he remembered the one time you didn't. The only time until now when he had to step in. When he felt needed.

It hadn't been an easy day at the office - the exact opposite in fact. For Javier and Steve, the day was just too long, but for you, it had been exhausting. Physically and emotionally. Some CIA agents were visiting the embassy and thought it was very funny and entertaining for a woman like you to be a DEA agent, and they weren't holding back on commenting on it.

You had holden yourself back as well as you possibly could, but every person had a snapping point. And once you had reached yours, it earned you a warning from Noonan and getting excused from work early. Not knowing what to do with the extra time, and on the verge of letting tears of frustration go, you found yourself in a bar just five minutes away from your workplace. Alcohol was always an easy way to numb everything.

You had lost count after what you thought to be your fourth drink, but who fucking cared. I had a horrible day at work, I deserved this, you told yourself.

Your partners obviously noticed how on edge you had been throughout the entire day, and the glances and whispered comments from the other men weren't helping. They were planning on checking on you, but Steve had received a call from Connie, urging him to come home, leaving Javier to take care of his girlfriend. Once he arrived at your place and knocked on the door, an uncomfortable feeling spread in his stomach as you didn't open the door. He tried again and again, but after four minutes, he realised, you weren't even home. The agent tried to call you, only to get greeted by your voice message, making him sigh and shake his head. He thought and thought, trying to find a possible place you could be. With his car, he drove around the area, looking into parks and such, not really believing to find you there, but you never know. Most stores were already closed, so you couldn't be there either. The last possibility would be a bar - definitely not the first place he'd expect you to be, but not an impossibility. He stopped at every bar, taking quick glances inside and asking around before he finally arrived at the one closest to the embassy - he couldn't even explain the weight leaving his shoulders once he saw you hunched over the bar counter. If he didn't know better, he'd think you were asleep.

Strutting across the floor until he came to a halt to your right, taking a seat on one of the barstools, he could hear the slight mumbles and hums coming from you. Since you you had your head down, resting on your arm on the top of the counter, you hadn't realised who had shown up, only when you suddenly felt the warmth of a palm on the back of your head, you dared to look up.

"Javi?" You squinted, trying to find out whether your eyes were playing a trick on you or if the man was actually sitting next to you.

He smirked at your dishevelled hair, trying to brush it cleaner with his fingers, "Hey," he spoke quietly and thanks to only a few people in that bar sitting far away from you, you were able to hear him clearly. "What are you doing here, Hermosa?"

You straightened your back slightly. "I think I'm supposed to be asking you that," the words lulled out of you, showing him just how drunk you actually were.

"How much have you had to drink?"

Uncontrollably, you started turning on the barstool, moving from side to side by pushing against the counter. You shrugged, "Two... or three..."

"Drinks? Or shots?"

"Maybe four," you continued to sing, "Or... six? Idontknow..." the last part just stumbled from your lips.

Javier shook his head with a sigh, "Jesus... alright," he got up from his seat, his right hand reaching for the drink in front of you. "You don't need that anymore."

You immediately noticed his movement and tried to stop him, "Heyyy," you whined out. "I wanted to drink that."

"No you didn't, come on," he tried to get you off the stool, but you were barely helping him, much rather just gazing at him with a pout.

"B-... But you drink too when you're frustrated," you commented.

He got you to stand up on your feet, his right arm wrapping around your waist to steady you. "Yeah," he nodded, "But you don't wanna be like me."

"And what if I do?" Your fingers started tracing his chest, covered by that white short-sleeved button-up you have come to love so much.

"Trust me. You don't."

Somehow, he managed to get you into the passenger seat of his car, securing you with the seatbelt you tended to forget to put on sometimes, before rushing to the driver's side and getting the car to start. He knew he wouldn't want you to stay at home alone tonight, so he was already planning his overnight stay at your place: getting you out of the car again, out of your clothes, maybe, if you weren't too tired, under the shower real quick, knowing how much you hated going to bed unshowered, and then into some pyjamas and under the covers to let you sleep off whatever alcohol was left in your body - which was currently still too much, he could tell.

You had closed your eyes but weren't sleeping, listening to the engine of Javier's car when something came to your mind. You abruptly shot your eyes open, "My car!"

He nodded, "I'll go get it tomorrow, don't worry." His comforting hand found its usual way to your upper thigh, resting there until you put your hand on top of his.

A few moments of silence passed before a deep sigh fell from your lips, clearly laced with frustration. Stopping at a red light, Javi turned his head to look at your side profile, almost catching himself smiling as he took in the soft glow of red elevating your features. God... what were you doing to him. His thumb started rubbing gently up and down your thigh.

"I hate men," you suddenly blurred out.

He couldn't help but to chuckle, taking your hand with his to change gear and continue the journey home. "I know, amor, I know."

"Not you, though," you quickly added, resting your head back, but turning it to look at him, "Not you."

"I know," he smiled, taking a quick glance at you and patting your leg.

"And Steve," you continued, only making him shake his head with a smirk, "I could never hate Steve. Or you. But everyone else... no. I hate them," you continued to lull out every word, not sobering up in the slightest with every added statement. "I hate Escobar. You know, how much I hate Escobar?"

"I can imagine, sweetheart," he commented, earning him a moan of disgust from you. "What?" Javi looked at you in concern as you shook your head.

"Don't call me sweetheart. It makes me sound like an old married woman."

He chuckled, "In Texas, it's very common to call people that are close to you that."

"Still," you fought back, starting to play with his fingers in your lap, "Use your Spanish words you always call me."

"You like the Spanish names more?" To which you nodded, not even trying to hide the big grin on your lips. "Alright, muñeca."

"Muñeca?" You smiled, "What does that mean?"

"You're half Latina, you should know that," he teased, pulling into the driveway of your apartment complex.

You opened your mouth, "Oh yeah... I should know that..." Dazed in your thoughts, you didn't notice the snicker from Javier as he exited the car to get you from your side.

A chuckle almost tumbled from his lips at the memory, thinking back to how hard it was to get you to change into more comfortable clothing and into bed because as soon as he had put you onto the mattress, a sudden rush of energy rushed through your body. What a night...

"You wanna go home?" He wondered, lowering himself slowly onto the sofa down next to you, careful to not disturb the baby that was daringly close to falling asleep.

A yawn was his answer, but a nod from you also followed. "Yeah," you patted his thigh gently. "I'm just gonna take Olivia to Connie."

"Olivia?" Javier asked you, his eyes following your fingers that were still drawing along the sides of the baby's face.

You nodded, "Connie said she's been thinking of naming her that. I think it fits. A beautiful name for a beautiful little girl." The sudden soft smile that appeared on the baby's face made you copy the expression, beaming at your lap. "Oh my god," you gasped, making the man next to you chuckle. "Do you think she understood me?"

"I doubt that, muñeca." His arm had found its way to lie comfortably behind you, his thumb rubbing your shoulder.

You shrugged, "Who knows, maybe they do understand us, but just can't communicate." As soon as the infant opened her eyes, you smiled brightly at her. "Right, sweet girl? You know how beautiful you are." Tapping her nose to make her grin.

At the exact same moment, a sudden flash blinded you and your boyfriend, and the baby apparently too as her cries rang through your ears. Looking up, you caught Steve standing in front of you, a polaroid camera in his hands, smirking proudly at you and your partner.

"Steve!" You called out, shaking your head along as you tried to soothe her again, "Well done, dad."

"Fucking idiot," Javier cursed out as you got up to bounce the baby up and down, hoping to calm her down.

"Javi!" You hissed at him, shielding the small ear closer to him. "Not in front of the kid!"

"Cariño, she can't understand us."

"You don't know that." Were your last words before you left the room to join the other woman in the bedroom, handing her her surrogate daughter back. That left Javier and Steve yet alone again.

"Great job," the Latino sarcastically complimented the other agent, who was grinning at his hands.

"So worth it though."

"What? Making your kid cry?" Javi scrunched his eyebrows in confusion, until Steve lifted up the polaroid picture he had taken, showing it to his partner. It was perfect. Javier and you sitting comfortably on the couch, looking down at your lap where you had held the little girl. Both smiling. Both happy. He didn't notice you leaning into the arm he had draped over you, but it was clear to see in the picture.

Peña cleared his throat as he stood up, brushing his hands over his jeans. "Keep it." But Steve shook his head.

"Nah man, that's for you two."

Javier pushed back his outstretched hand, "It's fine."

Before the blonde man could start an argument, you came back into the living room, your eyes immediately on the two. It didn't take you long to see what Steve was holding.

"Oh my god!" You smiled with bright eyes, jogging over to your partner, and snatching the picture into your own hands. "It's so cute. Look!" You showed it to your boyfriend even though you knew he had already seen it. He shook his head, but Murphy was quicker than him.

"Keep it," he told you. "One of the only pictures I've ever seen where Javi actually looks decent."

"Hey!" You hit his upper arm with the polaroid before looking down at it again with a grin that was so wide, Javier could've sworn it almost reached your ears. "But thanks," with a shy smile and a nod, you thanked your co-worker, who copied your actions. "I just said goodbye to Connie by the way," you directed your statement to the man next to you.

"You're going already?" The blonde American wondered, walking back into the kitchen to place the Polaroid camera on the countertop.

You nodded, "Looking after your kid tires you out. But you wouldn't know that." With the sarcastic smile you sent him, you disappeared into the hallway. The two men followed you quietly.

Javier took your jacket off the hook first, waiting for you to turn your back to him so he could help you slide in. Steve leaned against the frame of the walkthrough, eyeing the couple smugly.

"Well, at least I now know who not to call when we need someone to look after her," he teased you, knowing it would offend you since you had a reputation for being good with kids.

"How dare you," you gasped, pointing a finger at him, which made him laugh out loud. Javi shook his head and placed his hands on your shoulders to turn you towards the door, ready for the night to finally come to an end. He pushed you forward until you had no choice but to push down the door handle and open the front door of their apartment.

You turned around, "See ya tomorrow!" Calling out to your other partner.

Javier did the same, adding a, "Say good night to Connie and Olivia for me." Getting a confused look at the mention of a 'Olivia' in return.

You spent the car ride to your boyfriend's place comfortably reminiscing about the evening, asking him about what Steve and he had talked about on the balcony, but only receiving 'nothing important, just small talk back. He had asked you about your conversations with Connie in return, wondering what you had discussed. What he didn't expect was to hear all of the gossip from your co-worker's wife's work, having to remember names he had never heard of before, which suddenly seemed very important. But he enjoyed it. He could've listened to you for many more hours but had tired yourself out from talking, immediately shutting quiet as soon as you had arrived.

Javier didn't waste a second before he took off his clothing, immediately heading for the bathroom to take a shower and call it a night. You followed him, brushing your teeth while he was washing his body, and switching positions as soon as he was done. He put on a pair of thin pyjama pants you got him, that he usually only put on out of courtesy since you both knew they'd come off during the night eventually - either because of you or simply because that man gets too hot for his own good while sleeping. You had thrown on your pyjama set, consisting of satin shorts along with a matching strappy top and went back to the bedroom, where your boyfriend was already waiting, having thrown himself onto the mattress, his feet still on the ground by the side of the bed.

"Is someone tired?" You teased him, walking up to him to lean down and brush some of his hair away from his forehead.

He huffed out a big chunk of air. "Sometimes Steve talks even more than you."

"Hey, you've never complained about me talking."

"No, but about Steve's." His eyes fluttered open at the sound of your giggles, filling his stomach and heart. Your fingers continued playing with his hair when a thought popped into your head.

"Where's your wallet?" Letting your eyes travel across the room to see if you could catch sight of the leather object.

"Why?" His hand found yours, holding onto it as he pushed himself up to sit with his other one. Javi gently dragged you in closer to stand in between his legs that he had parted to make room for you. Instead of answering him, you just showed him your open palm, sending him a quick smile along with it.

He nudged his head towards his nightstand, where the purse had been placed on. You reached out to grab it. His gaze was fixed on you and your hands as you opened it, placing the object you had been holding into one of the compartments.

"Here!" You showed him your masterpiece. You had put the picture Steve took of you two into the see-through slit in his wallet, and you seemed to be very proud of it. Javier couldn't help the chuckle coming from him. He got the purse back into his grasp.

"Gracias, corazón."

"You're welcome," you smiled back at him, intertwining your fingers with each other behind his neck as he threw the wallet back to where it had been before his hands rested on one of their favourite spots - your hips. Brushing them up and down your sides, he gazed up at you, who was already looking down at him.

"Have you been frowning a lot lately?" Your sudden question took him by surprise, making him unknowingly scrunch his eyebrows.

"What do you mean?"

"Like now!" You giggled, running your right thumb between his brows to decrease the tension. "Don't do that. You'll get wrinkles."

Javier lips slightly curled at your concern. "I think those come with age, mi amor. But you wouldn't know that." Adding the little comment you teased Steve with, hiding it in a compliment and making you grin.

"Come one," he motioned for you to get on the bed while he lifted the covers, so you both could get comfortable underneath them. You scootched in closer, so your faces were only a few inches apart.

"Aren't you tired?" You wondered, feeling his arm wrap tighter around you to pull you in even tighter and place a sweet kiss on your lips. You let your fingers brush through the locks at the back of his head, getting him to close his eyes and sigh. The tension was leaving his entire body just with those simple touches of yours. The magic hold you had on him made you grin. You loved having this effect on him. You knew you had it. It was in intimate moments like this that Javier would let himself completely relax underneath you. And that happened multiple times. Whether it was thanks to your voice, your touch, or simply your being. You relaxed him.

The two of you shared a few moments in silence, in which you had moved closer to him, he now on his back, your cheek resting against his shoulder, his hand brushing up and down your sides and back while your fingers were resting on his chest. But there was one question playing on the tip of your tongue that you just couldn't hold back anymore.

"What do you think of Olivia?" His movements on your body stopped for a second, almost making you gulp, but he played his surprise off and continued rubbing your back.

"I think... she's... a baby?" Making it sound like a question. A snicker fell from your lips, and you teasingly nudged his hips with yours.

"Nooo, that's not what I meant."

"Then what did you mean, hermosa?"

You sat up straighter, pushing yourself off his shoulder to look at him, his hand still on your back.

"Just," you shrugged, "In general. What do you think... of her... as a baby, I guess."

Javier noticed the slight shyness in your eyes when you let your gaze wander around, not really interlocking with his. He smirked at the realisation,

"Are you asking me how I feel about kids? Like having kids?"

You quickly looked at him, "No. No, I wouldn't do that. I know you." His confused look made you continue. "I know who you are." Suddenly, your voice became much quieter than before.

"And who am I?" He copied your tone, turning this conversation much more sensual than you had planned for it to be. You didn't miss his hand travelling lower down your body, brushing over the curve of your ass, down to your leg to throw one over his.

"Javier Peña," you simply answered him.

He nodded, "That's my name."

The unamused facial expression of yours would've made him laugh if he didn't find the situation more serious than he would've liked to admit. Something about this felt important. Very important.

"You know what I mean," you tilted your head, avoiding his gaze by tracing his collarbones with your finger, your eyes following it.

"I'm afraid I don't, mi amor." The nickname still made you tingle. From the moment he first used it up until that moment - the feeling continued to be the same. You felt loved. You felt wanted. You felt needed.

You let out a soft sigh, looking down before back up again. "I don't know... you're just... Javier Peña. The cold-blooded DEA agent-"

"Is that all you think of me?"

"No," you quickly added, "Of course not. That's just who you are to other people. To me, you're... I don't know... nice?"

"Nice?" He chuckled, making you do the same as you hid your face in his neck. You could already tell this question was a mistake, but you continued, distancing yourself from him, placing your palm on his chest

"What do you want me to say? You're so sweet and bubbly?" You both laughed in synch, his arms wrapping just a little tighter around you. "You're not, Javi! You're rough but soft around-"

"I swear to God if someone calls me soft one more time-"

"Who called you soft?"

"Fucking Steve." You laughed out loud at his confession. Your hands cradled his face, placing a few pecks on his cheek until you reached his lips.

"Aww, my sweetie is getting soft." This earned you a pinch to your thigh, making you jolt up and chuckle even more.

"That's what you get for saying shit like that," he commented with a subtle smile, catching your lips with a kiss, almost making you moan by the force of it.

You patted the side of his face gently. "No, no, don't worry. That just wouldn't be you anymore. I'd hate that."

The man smirked, "So you admit that you like it rough?"

"Javi!" You smacked his chest, but he caught your hand and pulled you in for another kiss.

"Just admit it, cariño," he mumbled against your lips.

"Never, Peña," you giggled.

He stole a couple more kisses before releasing you. "Alright, then back to your question." His hands rested on the side of your legs while your finger traced invisible lines on his chest.

"Nooo, please. Let's just forget I ever asked."

"You want me to forget you asking me if I want kids?"

You gasped, "That was not my question!" But he just continued to look at you. A few seconds passed, and no one said anything. Until you broke the silence, finding it slowly become unbearable where you left off. "But-"

"There we go," he proudly smirked. You shook your head with a smile.

"If I was hypothetically asking. Your hypothetical answer would be...?"

"Why are you worrying so much about that all of a sudden? Hypothetically speaking." He seemed genuinely interested in hearing your answer to his question.

You shrugged and thought for a while before dropping your hand down, finding his fingers to play with now. "You didn't even think twice about it when you found Olivia. It seemed so obvious to you that Steve would take her." Ah, there it was.

Javier took a deep breath. "Yeah... I guess so." His eyes focused on your intertwined fingers for a split second before looking up again. "For one, because he and Connie have been married for quite a while, so, you know, it seemed fitting. And second, because... well... I'm not exactly a-"

"Family person." You answered for him with a nod.

"Right," he sighed, looking up at the ceiling, not at you, almost in shame. You could hear another heavy breath escaping his lips. "But you are." And his eyes were back on you again. Regret and fear. Maybe even uncertainty. That's what they showed. You were sure of it.

"I guess," you shrugged.

"You're great with kids. Of course, you are," he assured you. By now you knew that if there was one person that knew you better than anyone else, it would be Javi. The multiple nights you spent venting your problems onto him - past, present and future possible problems. Even before you shared a bed. That's how you bonded. Shared fears from the past. Regrets you didn't want to go through again. He knew you like the back of his hand. You weren't yet sure if you could say the same thing about him.

"Yeah..." you placed his hands in front of you, looking down. Hands that have killed. But also hands that have brought you love and pleasure. And oh, the many more things those hands could do. "But you're not."

Javier didn't nod or shake his head. He just kept his gaze on you. He didn't know what to say or how to react. Was it too early to have this conversation? The two of you were close to sharing your second anniversary together, so he guessed the time had to come at some point... right? He had admitted his love for you a long time ago, he could admit this too.

"What do you want?"

His question made you look up, "Hm?" You wondered, slightly confused by what he had meant.

"In the future. What do you want? And be honest," he squeezed your hands assuringly.

You gulped. "I think that changed when I came to Colombia, you know?"

"Then before that. Before you knew about all this shit here. What was the future you dreamed of?"

You let the question linger in the air for a second before you opened your mouth with a smile. "I really wanted to be a mom. I always thought I'd become a young mom, to be honest. But then I found my way into law enforcement and I knew I couldn't have both... But I think I'd still want that. I really loved my mom growing up. She did a great job raising me and my siblings, so I definitely know I'd have someone to look up to in that sense." He continued listening to you attentively, his hands moving along your skin gently. "I want a house. A white house preferably. With a big garden. Maybe even a farm or something. Animals. Especially cats. Maybe a dog... I don't know... I'd decide on that when the time comes. But... yeah... kinda do want kids." Javi didn't miss the change of tense when you spoke about wanting to become a mother.

"Alright," he nodded, placing his hand on your cheek to pull you in for a kiss. You moved your lips along with his, fitting perfectly like usual. You separated yourself from him, your hand back on his chest.

"That's all you have to say?" You chuckled a bit at his response.

Javier's hand came to your neck, his fingers tracing your skin. "Yeah." He nodded, definitely not understanding what you had meant.

"So, I'll just say whatever, and you go along with it?" You smiled at your partner, slightly amused by his opinion on the subject, yet not fully believing it.

He shrugged, "If you want a family with a house and pets, who am I to deny you of that?"

"But that's not how it works. That's not how a relationship works."

"And how does a relationship work, mi amor?" He wondered, pushing himself up to put you underneath his body, holding himself up with his arms on either side of you.

"You're supposed to say what you think of something, and then I say what I think of it, and we'll try to find a middle ground and settle on that," you explained, knowing you had his full attention.

"And what would the middle ground on this be? No kids, kids, only one. There is no middle ground here." You didn't really think about that. He was right. But who would be the person to give in now? Even if you hadn't decided that yet, Javier had already made his decision a while ago. "If you want that. I'm gonna make sure that you'll get it."

You shook your head, your fingers finding the brown locks by his neck. "But that's not you."

"Says who?"

"You-"

"I never said that," he argued. "I never said I didn't want a future like Steve's." His statement surprised you. And he couldn't lie, it was hard for him to admit. Javier wasn't used to showing this side of himself. But if anyone got to see him like that, it was you. "It's definitely not made for me, that's for sure. And I don't really think that it's very smart to have small kids running around in a country like this while you're hunting down drug lords and whatnot every day. But just because I didn't think that life was for me, doesn't mean that can't change."

His words let the shiver move from your head down to your toes, filling your stomach with butterflies and your heart with desire. You never expected to hear words even similar to these from Javier. To be fair, there hadn't been many times where you thought of having a potential future with kids with your boyfriend - it always seemed so clear to you that as soon as you gave yourself to him, you had to let that dream go for good. But here you were, underneath the man you had come to love, gazing into his big brown eyes while he poured out his entire heart to you. You knew he meant every word. Every single one. And maybe it was still a little too soon to truly think about this subject intensively (or maybe not), but God, you'd be lying if you said your want and need for him didn't grow even bigger than you could've ever imagined.

You nodded up to him, biting down on your lips to hide the smile that would've been way too bright for this moment. "Okay." You whispered, pulling him down to you to let him know that maybe you had now just given him a simple and short answer, but Lord, you meant it.

Javier grinned at you, "Okay."

You weren't going to get to work on it right away. But maybe one day. Maybe one day this conversation would repeat itself and right afterwards you'd find yourself moaning his name out into the world as he made sure that you got what you had always dreamed of.

That wasn't the Javier Peña everyone else knew, but it was the Javi that you knew and loved. Just the right amount of rugged and soft to make sure you knew you were loved in every way possible, but also protected and safe.

He smirked down as he noticed your need to pull him closer. Once again, your lips met, making you melt right into the sheets underneath you and moan into his lips when you felt his hand riding up your torso underneath your silk shirt.

"Now, what was that about you not liking rough?"

"Javi," you scolded him with a chuckle as you felt a rush of heat rush up to your cheeks, but definitely also through your body. His hot breath tickled your neck as you started working his lips against your skin, making you sigh heavily.

"I think I'm gonna have to prove you wrong on that, muñeca," he whispered against your ear, making a grin when you pulled him back to face you, not even giving me a second to think before smashing your lips against his.

Javi didn't mention the sensation that filled his body back at the Muphy's place when his eyes found you with that little girl. He'd let you know about that once the time was right.

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