#she wuv him.

[huntershowl-moving]

What is your favourite ship for your muse?

oh dude.... i couldn't in good conscience name just one. last time i was asked something like this (favorite rp partner) i gave a list. and here's another list of ship-specific rp partner gushing!

i considered doing this last time, but now that i've given all my big ship partners lots of love, i'm gonna spotlight @tewwor's litho for probably being the most formative ship of seph's time on this blog. which makes sense, given that he was her first, and it was a slowburn in which they took FOUR REAL-LIFE YEARS to finally get together. but litho has really made me discover things about seph that ended up forming core parts of her personality (like her soft spot for bantery bitches, her secret love of poetry, her tendency to leave the second things get dicey for her partner's safety, her tendency to die and turn into some sort of posthuman supernatural entity to protect her partners.... the list goes on.)

[sualne]

snakeman luffy

[crimson-nail]

annoying vashmeryl for the soul

[ashipiko]

NIKO SHENANIGANS FT @theolivetree123 ‘S HOPPER!!!!!!!!!

niko is NOT shorter than hopper he is simply being annoying and hanging on his shoulder (after getting beat up probs) <3 my squishy

SORTA A SEQUEL TO THIS DOODLE

[splint-er-exe]

Why did she say that

[oceanssapart]

[crybaby-bkg]

Incubus Dabi who is so used to being so charming and easy to slide inside the comfort of anyone’s bed, only to be brought to his knees by you—a succubus so old and grand and divine that he can’t even tell that you’re other. that you’re higher and greater than him in every way, shape, and form. that pins him so easily and makes him scream your name, gets him drunk enough on your scent and power that he forgets who, and what, he even is.

[paintedpeeta]

Peeta getting so tired of recleaning the floors after Katniss gets messy in the woods that he gets her old bucket tub from the seam house and makes her a bath in the living room when she comes home so not to track mud upstairs

ahhh i definitely headcanon that peeta is big on keeping their house clean, loves the order and mental clarity that it brings, loves everything having a place so that he can put his hand to it whenever he needs it. (and also, likes to periodically repaint the rooms and move furniture around to freshen things up, but that isn’t relevant here).

enter katniss, stage left.

she isn’t a dirty person. she just isn’t as fussy about it as him. like, she’ll pair odd socks together when she’s doing laundry and she’ll leave dishes on the rack overnight. and, of course, she trails in from the woods most days looking like she’s been dragged through the mud. if he’s lucky and is home, he’ll catch her and toss her over his shoulder in the hallway before she can track leaves and muck through the house. other days, she gets home before he does and he’s greeted by the sight of dirty boot-prints across his pristine floors.

truly, she riles him up something awful when it comes to it. no matter how many times he reminds her to take her boots off at the door, she almost always forgets. and of course, because she hates him being mad at her, she always comes up with an excuse to deflect. “but peeta, i was in a hurry to feed the cat! that’s why i forgot to take ‘em off.” murmured as she tries to situate herself across his lap, quite contrite. she will do it again the next day and he knows this. (other times, she takes a harder stance. “maybe you ought to be home earlier to remind me.” said in a very serves-you-right manner).

the idea of them having a big metal wash tub is pretty inspired though, especially if you personally headcanon that they go live off-grid in a cabin in the woods. warming the water for each other in kettles above the hearth. would you even need to draw the curtains closed, out there in the middle of nowhere? he’s a little too tall for the tub so it’s not as comfortable for him as it is for katniss, who can fully stretch her legs out and lay there to soak.

[ahogechef]

"Do you think could cook this bug?"

Oh-- He found his way to the overworld. Mainly thanks to Chihiro but he can't exactly roam around Tokyo looking like the way he is. Since tattoos are...considerably taboo. And well, he doesn't exactly have proper clothing. So he is here to bother Kaede while Chihiro runs some errands. Naoki was.... freeloading roommate of some sorts.

@azure-summoner

@azure-summoner !!!

"Woah!! Naoki-kun....! Ahhh...you and these bugs, I tell you.." She slumps her shoulders, before giving a sheepish laugh. Happy as she is to see Naoki, she does not exactly like cooking bugs...! And yes, she knows that cooked bugs are a delicacy in some places (she will never understand why....), she's still not a fan! But for Naoki-and only for Naoki-she will do it....

Walking closer to him, she asks: "How did you get here, actually! Don't you usually need Chihiro-kun to bring you here....?" Since he apparently doesn't seem to be here with him right now..

"B-But alright, fine.. what's the bug that you want me to cook?"

[emmyrosee]

…….you might get Tokyo revengers content I just need you to be ready for that….

I just love baji and draken and mikey so much I cannot fathom, and if I go down you’re all coming with me-

[ebbing-terror]

purr, purr.

Lynn's nails scratched under the curse's chin, firm and gentle all at once. Mahito was so handsome, even when he was like this, shapeshifted into some huge lizard- like thing. He was full of surprises and Lynn was thoroughly enjoying this new form as she sat smaller than usual in his lap, swinging her feet and giving her beast scritches. What a pretty boy~!

She nuzzled their faces together, kissing a set of stitches at the corner of his mouth. The purring vibrated through her ribs and Lynn was happy to fuel the blissful rumble as her hands roamed about the carved shapes of Mahito's body- new but ever familiar.

It was only a matter of time before she reached his hands, that part remaining mostly unchanged. At this size Lynn could only hold one of Mahito's fingers so that's what she did, in awe of the proportions.

"Pretty boy~"

She praised aloud this time, scratching along his jaw and pecking his reptilian grin wondering just how loud that purring could get.

[abyssmalice]

How could he forfeit to make something grand for his beloved sister's birthday? Absolutely not. Today, he is going full roundhouse with his birthday surprise.

Said surprise being a giant chocolate cake, covered in fruits of different kinds―but it is not just any simple cake: it dubs also as a giant chocolate fountain, spilling down the slopes and covering some of the fruit along it, impregnating the air with the scent of sweet cocoa.

Next to it there is a pack of sticks ready to be used for dipping fruits and cake into the melted chocolate. And right before it there's a little scribbled note, surrounded by familiar slime doodles in the fashion of her brother's artstyle:

"I hope you like this little experimental idea I commissioned to one of the local bakeries. Happy Birthday, Princess! I love you.

P.d: Once I'm done with my work, would you like to go have fun somewhere in the city? Think about it, and find me in my office once you're done with your cake. I finished all your work for you today, so feel free to take all the time for yourself."

IT'S STILL FEB 19TH 2K24 I PWOMISE / Not Accepting (ofc)

When Tonia wakes up, she immediately keys in on the faintest whisper of cocoa.

It catches her attention just as much as it makes her forgo the usual morning priorities of rolling around in bed, sleeping in, rolling around some more, squishing her toys, reluctantly getting out of bed, even more reluctantly brushing her teeth, or changing out of her nightdress. Instead, she practically bounces out of her blankets, bare feet quickly tapping out of the room and blindly honing in on the sweet smell and sweeter promise of sweet—!!

When she finally blinks, she's in a room with a cake. A giant cake. Made of chocolate, just as she hoped. But it was not just giant and chocolate - it was streaming chocolate, like some endless, magical, miraculous little cocoa volcano. Little smooth rivers of milk chocolate, the river banks occasionally splashing a tiny bit to fleck the strawberries and banana slices decorating the cake.

Truly, a chocolate and cake and sweet lover's dream come true. Tonia discreetly takes a second to pinch the skin of her cheek, feeling it pull too realistically to be anything but real, and she's half a second away from immediately pouncing on the cake in a figurative and potentially even literal way - not like anyone else's name is written on it! Her cake now!!! - before she notices the note on the side.

...She's half inclined to ignore said note frankly. But - there are slimes doodled on it...

Slimes are just as important as this amazing cake, her just-woken-up brain fuzzily determines. So, while one hand grabs one of the dipping sticks to make a little fruit and cake kebab for dipping into the chocolate, the other grabs the note for her to skim and keep in mind and then attend to whatever later.

Or well, she planned to skim it, assuming it wouldn't be anything too important beyond a quick read. Turns out, no, quite important. Just as important as cake and slimes. Maybe a smidge more important than those two things, actually.

Well, it's not like Tonia forgot her birthday was a thing - she had been incessantly badgering and being particularly annoying in the days leading up to it, in some roundabout logic of celebration = permission to be bothersome. So, she's not very fazed to find that the cake was one of her brother's absurdly lavish gifts for the year.

Just... Tonia squints at the note a bit, thinking, before she huffs and puffs her cheeks.

"I don't need to do any of that, you big dummy," she mutters to herself, before turning back to her in-process choco-kebab. She makes sure to skewer the smaller fruits along with a semi-misshapen chunk of cake before carefully dipping the whole thing into the streaming chocolate. Admiring her handiwork for a second, Tonia then turns sharply on her heel and rushes out.

The end result is that there's a slight mess of chocolate trailing down the corridors, and it's dripping over her nightdress, but she could care less when she has something super duper wooper important to do right now!!

Which is to slam the door to her brother's office open, walk in, ignore whatever her brother's reaction is to her sudden appearance, and shove the chocolate skewer into his mouth.

Once it's securely in said mouth, Tonia determinedly sets her hands on her hips - oh, wait, no, gotta rub some of the chocolate off her fingers first; her dress is looking even more of a mess but that's what laundry is for - okay, now she sets her hands on her hips, not quite frowning, but not exactly all smiles either.

"Dummmmmmmy!" She starts, loudly. "You can't just give me a giant cake like that and then expect me to just sit there quietly and make plans all by myself! That's so boring! And lame! Who wants to think that much on their birthday?"

"So, since it's my birthday, I've decided that we're not going to do much thinking at all." She wiggles a finger at him, slight smears of chocolate still on it. "We're just going to eat the cake. Yes, we. I've just decided now that I'm going to share it with you. We're going to finish all of the cake today itself! And you're not going to do aaaaany work, because that's lame, and it's my birthday, and I said so. And even if we have time after finishing the cake, you're still not going to do any work. We're going to have fun in the city, like you suggested. Maybe we can go buy a bakery together, or something."

She finally pokes his nose with the same finger, leaving a small dab of chocolate there. Tonia briefly feels her lips curling into a snort at the sight of Ayaks with chocolate on his face, but focuses hard to keep her you must listen to me I am being very serious big brother so don't laugh expression. "That is going to be the agenda for today, no changes or questions asked! And you can't regret this, because you allowed for this to happen, if you ask me.

"Especially with that dumb note of yours. Why write all that sappy stuff down when you could just say it to my face? Wish me a happy birthday when I'm awake, not when I'm still sleeping!"

Tonia looks on insistently for a few trailing seconds, awaiting the very words that she mentioned, but then remembers the choco-kebab she put into his mouth. Something sheepish twitches its way across her face before she huffs - "W-Well, afterwards! You can say all the stuff in your note to me afterwards. Is the chocolate good enough for me to eat first?"

[ahogedetective]

"Happy birthday Shuichi! I know sometimes the gifts I give you may be a little corny but I still want to give you this." Kaede smiled as she gave him a box of hand made cupcakes atop a wrapped present. Inside was a journal but inside on the lining was of a music sheet pressed down into it both the back and front. Even the bookmark was handmade in a similar fashion and laminated too. "I...I actually made a song for you if you're wondering about the sheets. I have another copy that I can play for you sometime! But I hope that whenever you have to write or make notes you can look at them and remember the song."

{ Shuichi Birthday!! 🎉}

"Thank you, Kaede! And shush, that's not true at all: your gifts are always wonderful." He reassures her with a smile, before he eagerly accepts the box of cupcakes and wrapped gift. "Ohhh...! These cupcakes look delicious, I can't wait to try them! I'd love to enjoy them with you, too..."

Then he will put the box of cupcakes on the table, so that he can then unwrap the present. It being a journal was already nice, and he loves the handmade bookmark... "Such a pretty bookmark... oh I will definitely be using this." But then he notices the music sheets pressed down into the linings...a quiet gasp of awe leaving him as he looks at the music sheets..."Oh....!! You...made this song, Kaede? Th-That's amazing!! So that's what you've been working on..."

Kaede has been seemingly working on something very hard for a while. He didn't know what, but now he realized she composed her own song. Just for him... "Yes... I would love to hear you play it. But ahh... Kaede..." He carefully places the journal down on the table... so that he can pull her into a tight embrace.

"...Of course I will.... Whenever I do any of that, I will think of the beautiful song you've composed for me. I just know it will be a beautiful one, when I can hear it. Kaede, thank you so much. I love you..." He gives her a long, loving kiss.. "You're the best girlfriend a guy could ever ask for. Thank you, for such wonderful gifts...!"

[shinkai-kaiju]

this game's flags are held together with fuckin hot glue and a dream is2g

[nulltune]

❛  ah, well ... would you look at that. ❜ he'd like to pretend this wasn't in his agenda the moment in which he invited to help walk her home, but even nicola cannot hide the knowing smile in which spreads across his features the moment in which his gaze lands upon the plant that has rested upon his mind all evening. the mistletoe stands particularly striking against the warmth of the café behind it, various patrons and workers rather distracted with their own lives to take note of the falzone's second in command cheerfully guiding the woman by his side with the firm grip of his hand to where it lay exposed for all to see. ❛  you know, i was starting to believe there was some sort of shortage. after dante had insisted we didn't buy any and the streets had looked rather sparse of their stock, it was beginning to appear rather dire for the future of any mistletoe related mishaps for the rest of my life ... ❜

it's a fraction of silence before the blonde inches a little closer, a glance spared towards the still busy crowd until it's drawn back towards the surprise of her gaze in turn. it's a unique one, truly, to be spared privy on it and even that in itself causes him to pause for another second, far too amused to simply stop and stare at her expression without a push into worrying too much. truthfully, a part of him would wish for everyone else to not have an opportunity to see it, but he knows better than to wish that, truly more amused at the idea of showing them who caused it in the first place. a juxtaposition to the gentleness in which he wraps an arm around her waist. ❛  so it's pretty fair if i request to indulge in such a thing for a moment, am i right? ❜

when only met with silence, the young second in command leans down to press a kiss to his companions lips, fingers curling ever so gently against her brown locks with an understanding ease, it's clear hes smiling, a little giddy with her lips pressed to his own and it sticks even once he pulls away, a truly pleased expression for a man who might be tempted to push for it again, enamoured with the sensation despite it still being new for them both all the same. / nicollaa <333

unprompted,  always accepting !   @dangaer  ♡

to celebrate the holidays like this was a first for kishinami hakuno.  hardly anything noteworthy to recall from the previous years  /  those bleak and empty years all blurring together,  there was no reason to celebrate the festivities when there was no one to celebrate it with.  such a solitary existence,  not knowing of any familial ties nor having any meaningful bonds with anyone,  she was bound to be alone.

this year was different,  however,  because he is here. 

to make the acquaintance of the underboss of the faizone would be a fearsome thought to most,  and hakuno couldn't say that she was without her own concerns  —  hard to comprehend nicola francesca,  the charismatic man with the perfect  /  crafted smile,  but the time they've spent together was always enjoyable.  today,  too.  walking together,  sightseeing together,  eating together.  such mundane things became something so precious,  and the hours slipped away before she knew it.  a view of the moon overhead tugs the corners of her lips downwards ever - so - slightly,  its presence a reminder that it's getting late,  and that they'd be going their separate ways soon.

so the offer to walk her home was a pleasant surprise,  though not one she could accept so easily.       ❛   you don't have to.   ❜       courteous,  yet perhaps a bit too blunt in its wording.  aware that the routes to their respective destinations diverged at this point,  it would be a hassle to have him go out of his way like that,  and for what ?   though she couldn't deny a ...  curious feeling at the offer,  even moreso when her response was met with insistance on ensuring her safe travel back.  hakuno still didn't think such a thing was necessary,  but if it could give him some peace of mind then ...  she supposed there was no reason to refuse.      ❛   then,  sorry for the trouble.   ❜       she ought to be more apologetic when saying this,  she realized that in the back of her mind,  but truthfully,  she hadn't been exactly keen on turning him down in the first place. 

it was selfish of her,  she realized,  but she wanted cherish this—  his kindness,  and the opportunity to be with him for just a little while longer.

leaving behind the chatter from the café,  click of her heels come to a halt in line with his own footsteps,  followed with a slow blink when realizing that they'd themselves under a certain plant.  having no particular feelings on tradition herself,  she was more curious to see how nicola would react,  though his response ended up taking her aback.  ( it doesn't show on her face,  however,  and hakuno recovers rather swiftly )       ❛   saying it like that makes it sound like you were hoping for something to happen ...   ❜       an observation,  mostly,  but there's the barest teasing lilt to silvery voice as she muses this.  peering at him from the corner of caramel eyes,  they widen slightly at the knowing look on his face.

what a surprise.  the words had been a jest,  and she hadn't expected for it to carry any hint of truth in it.  did he really want to ... ?   the blatant inquiry made it abundantly clear,  but such a thing was still hard to believe.       ❛   e - eh .. ?   ❜       the sound comes out as a small squeak,  barely audible,  but leaving lips parted in a small gape afterwards.  when his gaze turned to the distant crowd to ensure privacy for the two,  she found her eyes unable to leave him,  cheeks warm despite the chilly breeze that swept past them.  stunned at the thumping in her chest as her vision remained on him,  a hand would place itself over the area,  as if to verify the actions of that organ.  her heart really was racing,  and—  ah,  irony.  she knew just what it was a mistletoe implied,  but wouldn't dare to ask,  never one to indulge in her own wants or needs.  if he were to ask,  however,  then it'd be acceptable  —  because hakuno is a giver,  dutifully fulfilling that which was asked of her.

though a request of a kiss is ...  much too personal.  as generous as kishinami hakuno is,  such requests were ones she'd typically reject,  for she is quite the romantic deep down,  holding the belief that such intimate acts should be reserved for someone special.

—so maybe that's why ...  the thoughts trail off at the feel of his hand on her waist,  and she is still without the proper words to say,  but actions would speak volumes where speech failed.  dark lashes fluttering close,  head cranes upwards to accept the kiss.  there's a gleeful skip of her heart when their lips met at last,  a soft hum sounding from the back of her throat.  every touch,  every feeling brought on from this moment is unfamiliar,  but it is far from unpleasant.  the smile on his lips is felt  —  cute  —  and while her inexpressive self can't so easily mimic it,  the sentiment behind it is reciprocated with a subtle shift to deepen the kiss. 

there's another sound as he pulls away,  a small whine.  head canting with a sigh,  brown locks spill over small shoulders,  stray strands obscuring full view of flushed cheeks.  rosy lips remain slightly pursed,  pouting a little,  a faint disappointment over wanting it to last longer.  a feeling that melts away easily at the sight of his pleased face.

... he's much prettier up close,  she notes idly.  having someone,  having him,  in such close proximity was yet another new experience for the maiden who was usually so distant,  viewed as a flower blooming on a high peak  /  someone so out of reach.  it surprises even herself when she finds her arms wrapped around his form,  an action to keep the two of them remaining close like this.

dainty hand tentatively reaches out to carress the side of his face with a delicate touch,  half - lidded eyes peer up at him,  mirth in that gentle gaze.  a moment's indulgence,  is what this may have been,  but it had felt much more intimate than that.  they'd come this far ...  why stop now ?   that smile still hasn't left his face ...  a smile that seemed more genuine than usual,  or was she still in a daze from that kiss ?  ( what a nice sight it is,  though. )  despite giving ample time to,  he doesn't pull nor push her away when her hold tightens.  could she take that as a good sign .. ?

a beat,  and voice comes out as a whisper between what little space lay between them.       ❛   another,  please.   ❜      

[trashlie]

ILY FP 220

CW for abuse, manipulation, gaslighting, etc. Sorry for the minor spoiler, but we’re digging into the way Yui has manipulated and abused Kousuke since he was young and that might be triggering to some readers. 

Whoo BOY! Idk about you guys but I loved this episode (I keep saying this every week lmao). Again, there’s so much confirmation of things I’ve been saying/believing, and I find it really funny that this arrived on the cusp of a related discussion I’ve been having lol. This time, I’m also going to link to some interesting posts/threads from the 220 discussion post on the reddit, because they are presented really well, and while I’ll talk about them in this post, I want to highlight the comments that have furthered my thoughts and commentary! The reddit discussion posts are really what helps me put my thoughts together!

I am a big fan of this comment and the subsequent replies between them and cheeselounge; good explanation of exactly how Yui’s manipulation/gas lighting/abuse works and why it maintains a compelling hold on Kousuke, as well as some good food for thought about black and white vs shades of grey, the ableism that runs rampant when people on a whole talk about Kousuke, and how harmful it is to view characters as 100% innocent or guilty. Also really fantastic points on the parallels of how Shinae, Nol, and Kousuke are shown waking in the hospital. Just an all around top tier comment!

This is my own comment lol but what is important is not the comment itself but the discussion in the replies. I’m not a medical person so everyone’s input on what it means for Yui to shut down Hansuke’s tests is invaluable to me lol. Someone also brought up blood type - and while I don’t think that’s something Hansuke would be testing, it does bring up interesting thoughts re: Kousuke’s parentage. 

So let’s get into it! 

I know it’s tacky to be an “I told you so!” person but this episode, besides making me feel incredibly unsettled and angry, absolutely made me feel I TOLD YOU SO! Yui is SO skilled at manipulation it’s like second nature to her. Every now and then I still see people defending Yui as loving Kousuke so much that the way she treats him can’t possibly be manipulation, and that you can’t prove it’s manipulation - and like. THAT’S THE THING LOL Textbook abuse is often met with people who don’t believe it because they’ve never seen it, because you’re being so dramatic, because it’s not big deal. That’s how abuse WORKS. The abuser is seen as someone who couldn’t possibly be abusing you, because they do so many nice things or they seem so lovely and they just don’t seem like an abuser~. That’s why it works!!!! Because they have created a reasonable cause of doubt. Because they make YOU look like the liar, like you’re dramatic, like you’re just making a big deal out of things that aren’t. 

Also, people can say they love you and still abuse you, still hurt you, still use you for their own gain. And Yui does just that. 

It’s been a source of great ire to me that so much of what Yui has done has been swept under an umbrella of “she just loves him so much of course she wants the best for him”. But it’s not about him, and we can see that now! Yui doesn’t respond to Kousuke with love or affection. She has NO CONCERN about what happened to him. In fact, even as Hansuke tries to argue in favor of running tests on Kousuke, Yui tries it on him. “He’s dramatic, you know that. I know him well, and I know he’s fine. You are making a big deal out of nothing. We don’t want to make him think something is wrong with him do we?” Hansuke is the only one showing concern for Kousuke. It’s not just about him hitting his head - it’s about the unresponsive state in which he found Kousuke. It’s that HE knows Kousuke and HE knows something happened, something set him off, and that he responded to it in a worrying way! 

Yui SHOULD be concerned about Kousuke. She should want to understand, she should worry that something is going on with him. Instead, she just tries to pretend it’s nothing, to sweep it under the rug, to hide it not just from everyone else but from HIMSELF. “We don’t want him to think something’s wrong with him, do we?” 

But it’s not just that, it’s the way she operates! For so long I’ve been trying to say that while Rand is very much responsible for his choices, I believe Yui absolutely has affected his relationship with Kousuke and encouraged/fostered the distance between them. If Kousuke ever got close to Rand, maybe he would have laid off, calmed down, felt that he’d reached his goal and now he didn’t have to run so hard. But as long as that goal is unmet, as long as Rand is distant from him, Kousuke would have to keep pushing until he reaches the top, just like she wants. 

It’s the way she took Rand’s real gift and threw it out and replaced it with some random cardigan that looks like it’s not up to Kousuke’s standards. “How sweet of him” so sweet that he doesn’t know what his son likes, right? So sweet that he just got you whatever and you’re supposed to like it. She’s further fostering that divide. Not only has Kousuke not reached Rand, but he looks like he doesn’t know anything about him, like he doesn’t even care. And that’s further supported by the reality of the night - Kousuke knows Rand is with Nol and while on some level he understands why (even he was concerned about Nol being hurt) eventually he might internalize it as “Father chose Nol over me.” 

How many times has Yui intervened? Swapped out gifts? Relayed the wrong information, just FORGOT to relay the right information. How convenient, that Rand was never around for Kousuke’s birthday because he had meetings elsewhere. How convenient, that Rand never knew when Kousuke’s recitals or EVEN GRADUATION were. I want to reiterate I think Rand deserves critique. He has made his choices, he could have reached out to Kousuke, could have inquired about when his events are. But also as we’ve extensively discussed, Yui absolutely has and continues to weaponize what Rand loves and cares about against him. She’s weaponized it against Kousuke in how she commodified the concept of love and Rand’s love. She’s done it to Nol. At some point, people give up. There’s only so much misery they can endure. It’s very likely that Rand made efforts, in the beginning. We’ve seen him talk to Kousuke before about how he doesn’t have to follow in his footsteps, that he’s allowed to be whatever he wants. We’ve seen him try to instill little life lessons in Kousuke, only for Yui to swoop in and contradict him. At some point a person is going to burn out, grow tired. It’s unfair to Kousuke, because as his father, Rand still has a duty to him. But he’s also a human and we can only take so much. 

Rand and Yui exist in a toxic relationship, and Rand has spent so much of that time in a state of misery. We’ve seen it in Nol, how at some point he thought maybe he should give up, maybe there’s no point in fighting, maybe he just needs to let it go. We’ve seen it in Shinhan, who was overwhelmed by stress and his job and schooling and didn’t have the time and energy to be a present father and at some point turned to alcohol for comfort even at the expense of their funds. 

People can only endure so much. That’s the tragedy of Rand and Kousuke - that Rand was eventually worn down to such an extent that he didn’t have it in him to keep trying, that he was sapped of everything, that it was used against him time and time again, and that in the end it hurts Kousuke. That there were two children involved and impacted by this and both have come to meet danger and harm. 

I have so many thoughts about Rand, and Rand and Yui, and I’ll have to save them for another post. I don’t want to absolve Rand of his crimes against his children, but I also think it’s important to consider the circumstances, because at the end of the day that’s why this is so tragic. It’s so real. Yui is not the first parent to ever pit her child against her spouse, she isn’t the first person to manipulate others in her life. It doesn’t absolve the other parent, but we have to acknowledge the circumstances, because I don’t believe this is the father Rand wanted to be. I think he wanted to have a relationship with his son, but that Yui made it a difficult task, and after some time, he gave up on it. 

Anyway that’s a whole sidebar lmao the point I REALLY wanted to make was: seeing Yui pull this, swap out the gift, replace it with something that is unsuited for Kousuke just further fosters that distance between Rand and Yui. And because Yui is the one who is here when Kousuke wakes up, it further perpetuates the belief that Kousuke is not good enough for Rand to care about him - especially given the circumstances in which Rand found Kousuke. 

Do we ever get to know what’s going on in Rand’s head? What did he think, when he found his sons out there in the snow? What did he think, when it looked like Kousuke was running away from Nol left bloodied and bleeding out in the snow? What did he think about this scene, after the phone call he had earlier that night with Kousuke and what he overhead. We still don’t know what Kousuke said the night he was drunk and left his father a voicemail, but we can deduce that it probably had to do with this - with his relationship with Nol and the hate and the jealousy and the fear and the desperate want to be loved, to be good enough? 

The blood is on his hands both metaphorically and physically. 

Something I want to stress is how grey I find this. Kousuke acted on Nol’s goading. If he hadn’t pushed Kousuke’s buttons, Kousuke would not have done it. Punching him as he was leaving the room was a fight or flight response - I don’t think it was his intention to knock him off the balcony - but I also think in that moment he didn’t feel guilt. Likewise, when Nol left the party, Kousuke chased after him, caught up in his fears and jealousy, the paranoia that stems from it. In so many ways, Kousuke does believe Nol is better than him. Nol’s ability to walk away and not fight back not just at the party, but even after he chased him, infuriated him, because he was goaded into chasing and attacking and yet Nol didn’t even choose to defend himself. Did he intentionally slam Nol like that knowing the glass shards would dig in and tear him up? Did he even register the glass?

What really strikes me is that when Kousuke realizes Nol is injured - badly - it doesn’t come across to me like he’s afraid of getting in trouble for it. He seems genuinely concerned that something has happened to Nol, that he’s bleeding. He wanted Nol to fight back, but I don’t think he wanted to HURT him like that? His reaction is so different from back at the party, where paranoia clouded logic and that flashback returned to him. I think yes, Kousuke wanted to hurt Nol, but I don’t think he wanted it to be like this?

Idk they’re complicated and it’s why I enjoy getting to see these kinds of scenes. 

But again, this is a tangent I didn’t mean to go on, but I think it’s important to state so that you guys understand how and why I interpret the scenes as I do. There is no one who is 100% guilty or innocent.

I definitely think we are meant to dig in to Yui’s actions and understand the manipulation and gaslighting that has gone on for the entirety of Kousuke’s life. That it isn’t solely about Nol, that even before him, she was doing this, that Kousuke as her son has always been a means to her self-serving goals and ambitions, that he was never a child to her but this extension of herself, this opportunity to go after what she wants, a way to cut Rand out of the picture so that everything falls back into the hands of her family. Though Kousuke she is able to orchestrate everything she wants and needs because he is solely at her mercy. 

Look at how deftly she discredits Hansuke while ensuring she is seen as the one who has the most concern for him. Look at how she makes it look as though Hansuke was trying something shady, to run tests on him without his consent, how can he overstep those boundaries - as if she doesn’t do that very thing at every opportunity. That’s how it works! You isolate your victim by making them believe everyone is out to harm them, that no one is trustworthy - no one except yourself, of course. It’s how she remains that safe shelter to him. Even though she does overstep his boundaries, even though she inserts herself into his business, she’s also the one who brings him “comfort”, the only one who he can trust. And it’s why he is unable to part ways with that manipulated reality he adheres to. It’s why, when other people speak the truth to him, he cannot believe it if it contradicts what he knows and believes, and that’s why no one is able to get through to him. 

Kousuke is a textbook victim of manipulation - he can never grow and progress as long as Yui exists. 

And something that someone pointed out (in the first link I included above!) is the visual progression of that. While we knew Kousuke would likely regress and everything he confronted and admitted would be out the window if Yui shows up, it’s further illustrated at the beginning of the episode and how it’s juxtaposed against the last scene we saw. 

From Nol and Shinae standing together, hands clutched and Nol resting on her shoulder with the sunrise and light, the clocks turn back and grow darker and darker, until Kousuke awakes. His moment of illumination is over, he’s back to the dark. Yui’s arrival represents that darkness, and how it undoes every moment of truth he had prior. 

As long as Yui remains in Kousuke’s proximity, he will always be in the dark, unable to reach the light. 

In that same comment, they talked about the parallels in how we were shown Nol, Shinae, and Kousuke all waking up in the hospital. 

Shinae woke to her father and his love and care. There was never a moment she had to doubt him. I still can’t get over that little snippet of Minhyuk in the hospital before she’d fully woken, how feral he sounded, how upset he was about what happened - that he knew he was one of the only people who actually cared about her and his anger at how she was hurt. There was never a moment that Shinae had to doubt these people. Even though her mom has left and took her sister, too, Shinae has never had to feel entirely alone. 

On the flip side, Nol didn’t wake up to relatives, to his parents. He woke up to panic and fear and his fight or flight senses kicked in - until he noticed Shinae asleep at the foot of his bead and realized he wasn’t alone. His friends showed up despite the way he had treated him to celebrate him, to make him feel special, to make him feel better in the ways that they can. Nol has spent a lot of time alone, but he’s not. He has people at his side. 

But Kousuke also wakes up alone - no peace, but instead a hard to make out argument outside his door. Isn’t that awful? At least Shinae and Nol wake up to a sense of comfort, but Kousuke wakes up to people arguing about him. When he fully wakes and sits up, there’s no one in the room. Just him. And then in sweeps Yui, paying off a nurse to trash Rand’s gift, ready to spin a new web to further ensnare Kousuke. 

As long as Yui remains that safe place, that comfort to Kousuke, he cannot be free. 

That’s the power of isolation, that’s the power of discrediting the people around him, of ensuring he believes only her words, convincing him that only she knows him well enough, that only she can help him, only she will tell him the truth. 

“They were all superfluous. Don’t worry, I told him to stop. It’s best to save resources on patients that actually need it, right?” 

We know Hansuke is in the right mind, wanting to run tests on Kousuke. He is rightfully concerned that something is going on with Kousuke and hopes tests could be indicative of something. He’s a doctor and thus believes in science and if there’s scientific evidence, maybe THAT could sway Kousuke, maybe THAT could convince him to listen. But not only does Yui put a stop to it, but she manages to discredit his intentions. She conveys to Kousuke exactly what she needs to - of course there’s nothing wrong with you you’re just fine don’t listen to what anyone else says because they don’t know you like I do. They’re all just being so dramatic. 

And the next time Hansuke dares bring up to Kousuke that maybe he needs to get checked out, Kousuke will double down against him, will continue to believe Hansuke has a vendetta against him, will add him to his growing list of paranoia. The one person who is actively fighting for Kousuke is a big threat to Yui, so she has to ensure that Kousuke won’t trust him.

But that begs the question then. Is she putting a stop to the tests in effort to discredit Hansuke, or is it more than that? I am not a medical person, so this is not my area of expertise and I can only go off of the input others have put out there. I do personally think that whatever Kousuke is dealing with is not so much a mental illness as much as a response to the various stressors in his life, and while I do think a psych evaluation could at least better pinpoint a way to help Kousuke, that’s not the kind of test that Hansuke could have run while he was out. 

But what could be gleaned from simple labwork and urine analysis? If what Kousuke is dealing with is his stress levels and his response to internalized fears and jealousy resulting in paranoia, if it’s his body’s reaction to dealing with a past trauma, if it’s his body shutting down when he can’t deal with something, that’s not something blood is going to show right? 

There’s a lot of theories.

The first assumes both the rules of the mukoyoshi theory and that Kousuke is not, in fact, Rand’s child. It would go like this: because Rand was adopted into the Hirahara family by his marriage to Yui, it means he is treated as much as a blood relative as Yui is, and because the family business passes through the males, it means Rand’s progeny are the next in line for heir. This theory can branch off a couple ways. 

The first is obviously if it’s found out that Kousuke isn’t Rand’s child - but from simple labwork, would that even be possible? Unless Hansuke is checking Kousuke’s blood type AND knows the blood types of Rand and Yui, how would he be able to uncover the truth? But still, Yui would want to cover that truth at all costs, so maybe stopping Hansuke before he gets further and digs in deeper? 

But there’s also the fact that if it was believed Kousuke was not fit to be CEO, that his mental state was worrying or they couldn’t trust him to carry out the necessary duties, he could be stripped of his role - and it would go to the next in line, and as a blood-relative of Rand, that would be Nol. Thus, it would be very important to cover up any indicator that Kousuke cannot handle his role as heir. While we know Kousuke’s stress responses are directly related to unassessed psychological triggers, it would be easy for someone on the outside to look at him and go “He can’t handle stress and he lashes out at people, he isn’t fit for this.” And I don’t think that stress response is new to Kousuke. Though we didn’t see it really take affect until Nol and Kousuke were working closely together and Kousuke’s fears and paranoia were reawakened, we can assume from what little we saw of Kousuke’s recollection of the night Nol was taken away that this was another time he reacted to psychological triggers and shut down. 

@poisonheart pointed this out and it really put a lot of things into new light. It would also lend credence to Nol being unstable - ensure that he never stands a chance, that no one will ever think he’s fit for the role. 

Anyway, that brings us back to: Yui cannot have anyone, and especially not Kousuke, thinking there’s anything wrong with him. It’s not that she believes he’s perfect and thinks anyone who wants to run tests is insulting. It’s that she knows Kousuke is not perfect and she cannot let anyone find out. It would be so easy for the company to swing to one of her sister’s husbands if it turned out Kousuke and Nol were unfit and she absolutely cannot have that. That’s HER fortune, that’s HER business and she will not let it fall into the hands of another man. 

I want to make it clear that when I say something is wrong with Kousuke, I mean that when his triggers stress him out too much, he goes on spirals. I don’t think it’s something like “Kousuke is bipolar” because we can see clearly WHAT affects him, WHAT sets him off, and why it sets him off. I think, in an ideal world where it as easily possible, Kousuke was able to make peace with his feelings about his father, he’d be able to make peace with his feelings about Nol, and he’d be able to eventually reduce the probability of getting swept into these spirals. If Kousuke had no reason to fear Nol, to feel jealous of him, the intense need to best him at every opportunity, if he didn’t see everything Nol does as being an attack against him, as him plotting against him, as him trying to overtake him, he wouldn’t get so worked up. 

I also think making peace with Rand and Nol means whatever it is Kousuke is protecting himself from, whatever it is that happened in his falsified memory, would have less power over him. It’s not that Kousuke would act like this regardless - it’s that he is actively responding to things that trigger these reactions. 

I think I lost track of where I’m going lmao the point is: Kousuke is a direct result of the manipulation he’s experienced, and every time he experiences a truth that goes against the world Yui has gaslighted him into believing in, he cannot process it and it breaks him down. It’s a normal reaction! He’s not reacting like this because there’s something “wrong” with him, he is responding to high levels of stress and his brain wants to maintain the truth he knows. Certainly he needs therapy, but we all do. They all do. 

And this episode illuminates WHY and HOW Kousuke remains trapped in this state, and why any attempt at showing him the truth goes awry. Kousuke doesn’t put his beliefs ahead of other peoples’ solely because he has superiorlistic feelings about himself - it’s because he has to, in order to continue what he knows. 

Yui offering him tea is also a chilling moment, because we know the way Nol reacts to tea. He knows - he understands. But on the flipside, Kousuke doesn’t have the same reaction to it. He may even associate tea with comfort. I think this difference is VERY important, because Nol is aware of the witch Yui is, he probably is aware of the ways she has hurt him. Kousuke, though, isn’t. He still seeks comfort from her, and the tea theory, that maybe it’s laced, that maybe it is something his body responds to in order to placate him, is an important one. I don’t think this theory goes as far as some people think - I don’t think he’s being constantly drugged by his personal chef, for instance, nor do I think he ate or drank anything that night that would have triggered how he acted this night because a. Yui was surprised when he showed up to the party at all and b. Again, everything about Kousuke’s reactions are perfectly in line with the things that tip him off. He didn’t get worked up because he was drugged, he got worked up because he was responding to the dissonance between what he believes and what he sees, the stress of what Nol did and how Kousuke fears it will reflect on him, and his desperation to never disappoint Rand. 

HOWEVER I AM very much on board with the idea that after very traumatizing moments, perhaps Yui has placated Kousuke with a special tea that would calm him down and interrupt the dissonance, something he would come to associate as calm and safety, and thus further push her goal of ensuring Kousuke only feels safe with her, that she is the only one he can trust and seek refuge in. Everything going wrong and then mommy shows up with nice special tea and suddenly he’s calm and all those questions have been tucked away, there’s a new memory in its place; that’s not how that played out now is it, dear, wasn’t it like this? 

Something else about Yui worth noting is that she is VERY unhappy. There’s something so jarring and uncomfortable about the way she reacts when Kousuke tells her he was looking for Nol and Rand, that Nol has been hurt. That eerie smile mask of hers and how it closes in on her, that she came not because Kousuke needed her but she needed something from him - she needed to know Nol’s whereabouts, she needed to know where her scheming husband has gone. And Kousuke has no information for her. She is ANGRY but it’s also an opportunity to further drive that wedge. Rand isn’t here - not only does that mean he’s not here to check on Kousuke but it also means someone lied, whether it was Rand or Jayce, and it doesn’t matter which it was because Kosuuke will internalize it in the worst possible way. Why didn’t they come here, why did they hide their location? As readers we know exactly why - Rand is protecting Nol from Yui. But in doing so, it looks like he’s hiding things from Kousuke and he will not be able to rationalize it any other way. 

Even his reaction to the fact that Rand isn’t here shows that - he’s starting to get worked up again, he’s agitated, he doesn’t know where they are and Nol was hurt and Yui is grabbing his injured hand and trying to placate him. There’s something about Kousuke’s “You don’t believe me...?” that REALLY hurts, because it’s all a part of her manipulation. He’s in a vulnerable state, he’s confused and instead of receiving clarity, Yui is muddying the waters. If Yui doesn’t believe him, does that mean he could be wrong? Does it mean that Jayce was wrong? 

Again, in the end, he can rely on and trust only Yui. 

I really love that we also got to see Meg and Jayce! What an unlikely duo! I have this hope that one day Meg and Kousuke can become unlikely friends - as much as anyone can be friends with Kousuke lol. I think we’ve seen that, like Hansuke, she is someone who at least likes Kousuke for something attributed to who he is, rather than chasing him for the fortune and power. I think that could have added fuel to the fire, but we’ve seen that Meg’s interest in Kousuke was rooted in him being one of the only people in her life to cheer her on, to make her feel seen and like she can do what she sets her mind to, unlike her parents who encouraged her to give up and go for something easy. I don’t want to downplay her harassment and stalking, because it was very much so out of line but I’m glad she seems to be coming around and I think from that, if Kousuke can ever learn to be comfortable around her, we could see a really interesting dynamic of friendship. I think Meg has a lot of potential to have a similar relationship as Kousuke and Shinae have had, where Shinae calls out Kousuke and tries not to let him push her around and make her feel small. Clearly there’s a lot of things Meg and Kousuke both need to work through and it’s not something that would immediately happen, but I think it might be a series of incidents that could build up to them being able to trust each other, maybe? 

Meg finding the gift that was thrown out fuels that hope, at least. I know right now she takes it as Kousuke choosing to throw it out, but I wonder if we won’t get to see a scene where Meg mentions the gift he threw out and makes Kousuke go “Excuse me? What? I would never throw out something from Father” and create that little seed of doubt. That’s the biggest issue with Kousuke being caught in Yui’s web - no one can get through to him. But if that seed of doubt is planted, if could lead to Kousuke questioning the things he needs to. Because if she’s thrown out this gift, what else has she thrown out. What else has she prevented? What else has she lied about? Maybe he can reach that conclusion that it wasn’t that he was never good enough for Rand, but that she continued to make that gap wider and wider and to destroy every bridge before either Kousuke or Rand ever had a chance to cross them. Even if it’s not the case and she hasn’t actually interfered as much as we think, it still creates that doubt, because it still means she lied and that she isn’t the only pillar of truth in his life, and there’s still a question of what else he’s lied about. 

I love that we get to see Meg hanging around that long, too. I mean, I’m glad she’s getting a wuber and will go home, but I just can’t help but feel like we will get to see a lot more of Meg and Kousuke - after all, just like her unlikely appearance with Yujing, they DO have a lot of mutuals, and Meg has become much more important to the story than anyone could have accounted for. Now that she holds the actual key to possibly unlocking some doubt in Kousuke’s mind, I think we will get to see more of her. Again, I know at the begnning her harassment was treated as a tasteless joke, but I love Meg because of how much we’ve already seen her change and grow, her decision to love herself and stand up for herself. I think in time we might get to see Kousuke develop a sense of respect for her, as he kind of has with Shinae. I like to hope that she might be able to eventually bring some comfort to Kousuke, in the way that maybe she can be someone who brings him truth and honesty. I don’t mean this as a shippy thing, but just in the sense that Kousuke is very much alone. Shinae has people who love and care about her. Nol has people who love and care about him. Kousuke doesn’t have that as much. Having someone who has your back is vital. That’s what makes it so hard for victims to leave - where do they go? who do they turn to? When for so long their abuser has been their only sense of comfort and shelter, when their abuser has made everyone view the victim as hysterical and dramatic, when they are left all on their own, isn’t that scary? 

This isn’t a “they can fix him” thing, but rather for Kousuke to grow he needs to escape his mom, and for him to do THAT he needs to understand who she is and what she’s done to him. Hansuke is doing his best, but maybe having someone else on his side would be beneficial. These are complex stories and it’s not enough to just have someone at your side, there’s a lot of psychological recovery for Kousuke to work through - but it’s not as daunting when you aren’t alone. 

Idk, I say it every week but I just. I have a LOT of feelings. I’ve really enjoyed the complexity of the pain train that is Kousuke (I took that from @poisonheart lmao) because it’s so well done. He is a man who has been manipulated his entire life, he’s felt neglected by his father, he’s been isolated, everyone who cares about him has been discredited, he’s been trapped in this web and haunted by his jealousies and fears and he’s lashed out every time he feared he was losing his place, every time he worried Nol would best him. Just like how tragic it is that Yui was able to drive that wedge between Rand and Kousuke, it’s tragic that Yui has been able to do this to Kousuke, that as a result of the seeds she’s sown, he’s grown up to be this kind of person, to do despicable things, to break someone so that they never had the chance to grow.

Nothing ever happens in a vacuum, nothing is ever black and white. Kousuke is both a victim and an abuser. Rand is both suffering from Yui’s games and a bad, absent parent. Nol was hurt over and over by Kousuke and still reached out, still tried to help, tried to bond. I think we absolutely have to acknowledge that Kousuke is dealing with something that is very difficult to escape, that is very psychologically damaging. That’s why we can’t look at him and go “I can’t believe a grown adult is acting like that.” There’s always more to the story, and it’s unfortunate that the pain inflicted on these characters has caused them to hurt someone else.

Rand’s misery led to him giving up and hurting his son, which lead to his son living with so much fear and jealousy that he hurt the only person who tried to reach out to him over and over again, which lead to that person hurting the people who loved him and wanted to help. It’s an endless cycle, and even though it begins with Yui, I’m sure she has her own hurt, too, that she’s turned on everyone else.