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imaginespazzi · 3 months ago

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Part 6: To Trying Again

Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11

I don't wanna mess this thing up (I don't wanna push too far)

(In which an "evil" writer might surprise you guys just a little bit with this part)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: Fluff and Angst

Words: 5.6K

TW: Swearing (I think that's it?)

A/N: Happy Monday lovelies! This is sort of a filler-ish short chapter though I do think it's important to both plot and character development. I'd like to preface this by saying I've never been to Minsk or Park Pieramohi so I'm very much going off of pictures. Editing and I remain on very, very bad terms so pretty please let me know of typos so I can fix them. As always, let me know what you liked, what you disliked and what you'd like to see going forward. Have a lovely rest of your week my loves <3

July 2018

“You’re being too loud,” Azzi whisper-screams at the blonde girl in front of her as she closes the door to her room behind her with a little too much force.

Paige turns her head back every-so-slightly with a pronounced eye roll, “will you please relax.”

“I would if you’d just be a little more careful,” Azzi glares, taking cautious steps as if the sound of her sneakers across the carpeted floor could potentially wake up any of the coaches.

“Azzi,” Paige says exasperatedly, “the coaches are all the way on the other end of the hallway. Besides, they're probably all sleeping.”

And despite her stubbornness, Azzi can concede that Paige has a point there. It’s nearly midnight and the game against Spain earlier in the day might have had a final score that made it seem like the USA U17 women's basketball team had won handily, but the game itself had been draining to say the least. The post-victory dinner had featured a bunch of worn out teenagers gobbling their food without much conversation and a cohort of coaches who seemed like they needed an hour of drinking followed by good night’s sleep. But even the exhaustion of the day hadn’t been enough to prevent Paige Bueckers and her diabolical mind from coming up with the idea to sneak out into the city of Minsk.

“No,” Azzi had said immediately even before the words had been spoken, that shimmering glint in Paige’s eyes a dead giveaway as she sidled up to Azzi at the salad bar.

“You don’t even know what I’m going to say,” Paige had pouted.

“You never say anything good.”

“That’s crazy. You’re so mean to me.”

“So mean,” Azzi had nodded in agreement, “so how about you go and bother someone else.”

“Azzi please. We haven’t had just Paige and Azzi time in ages. Don’t want someone else. Just want you.”

And after that well, there wasn’t really any chance of saying no. Azzi’s only fifteen and she doesn’t know that much about love, but sometimes when Paige looks at her with those earnest blue eyes and a smile that promises i’ll always be here, she thinks the way her heart starts to flutter erratically to a beat of and i wouldn’t want anyone else to stay, might just be the start of her finding out.

“See,” Paige grins triumphantly as the two girls find their way out of their hotel and onto the street, “told you we wouldn’t get caught. Shit’s just too damn easy.”

Azzi rolls her eyes at the attitude, “don’t tempt fate.”

“Fate’s got nothing in front of Paige Bueckers. I make my own fate,” Paige winks as she links her arms through Azzi.

It’s a mundane amount of contact, absolutely nothing special to it, but Azzi feels herself shiver in spite of the humidity that’s circling around them. She doesn’t quite know how it happened. One moment she was staring across the court, judging the skinny blonde practicing free throws and coming to the conclusion that she’d be no threat; the next moment said girl was next to her on the plane back from Argentina and Azzi, a self-admitted introvert, found herself rattling off about everything and nothing with this girl who seemed to have discovered the keys to all of Azzi’s locks. Hours of talking had bled into days and days had bled into months and despite the fact that facetime had taken the place of in-person conversations, the word friendship had seemed too cavalier a word to describe the relationship Paige and Azzi were building.

Paige had whittled away all of Azzi’s carefully constructed armor until she was buried deep underneath her skin and Azzi’s sure there’s no knife in the world sharp enough to carve the blonde out from where she lives underneath Azzi’s ribcage. Azzi doesn’t want anyone to try and dig her out. She thinks she might bleed out if they do.

“Az,” Paige whines, waving her free hand in the younger girl’s face, “are you even paying attention to me?”

“That depends,” Azzi hums, “are you saying anything interesting?”

“I’m always saying something interesting.”

“You’re always saying something. The interesting is subjective,” Azzi teases, laughing when Paige pouts.

“I sneak you out to give you an adventure and this is how you repay me? With insults?” Paige puts a dramatic hand to her heart.

“Walking boring streets is not an adventure. Virginia has streets too.”

“It’s not about the streets, it’s about where the streets lead to,” Paige says with grave seriousness.

Azzi raises an eyebrow, “are you entering your philosopher Paige era?”

“I’d make a good philosopher,” Paige waggles her own eyebrows as they two girls find themselves entering park Pieramohi.

“Virginia has parks too, you know Paige?” Azzi says skeptically.

Paige lets out a dramatic sigh, “will you just keep walking, woman. Sometimes I wonder if you even like me?”

It’s said like a joke but there’s a hint of insecurity beaded into it that buzzes in Azzi’s ears as she wraps a careful hand around Paige’s wrist, stopping the two of them where they are.

“Hey,” she whispers softly, nudging the older girl, “you don’t ever have to wonder with me. I’m always gonna like you Paige. Even if you’re a pain in my ass half the time.”

“Had to ruin it with the last part, didn't you?” Paige complains but her eyes twinkle at the reassurance, “Just so you know I’m gonna be a pain in your ass forever.”

“I’m gonna hold you to that,” Azzi promises as they continue strolling through the park.

The silence is peaceful and the breeze that flows around them is like a comforting hug. And Azzi thinks that she’d be okay if there wasn’t a destination for them to get to, as long as the journey came with Paige by her side.

“We’re almost there,” Paige says slowly, a slightly nervous edge to her voice.

“You sure you’re not just getting us lost-” the teasing quip dies on Azzi’s tongue as she stares at the scenery in front of her. They’re standing on the edge of a bridge overlooking a lake and it looks like something out of a disney fairytale; the picturesque image of green trees silhouetted against a magically starry night is captured perfectly on the still surface of the water that’s flowing beneath. As Azzi peers across the railing, Paige right next to her, she feels her breath hitch at the reflection that peers up at her. Because the view in front of them is beautiful but Paige’s eyes are on Azzi and she’s staring at her as if the view is nothing in comparison.

“C’mon,” the blonde says softly, lacing her fingers through Azzi’s as she tugs her along, “I have a plan.”

“There’s more?” Azzi asks in awe as Paige guides her to the gazebo in the middle of the bridge.

“Just a little bit,” Paige says and oh- that shy smile is different. Azzi doesn’t think she’s seen that one yet and she makes a mental note to herself, to memorize it and store it along with all of Paige’s other smiles that make Azzi’s insides swoop like a rollercoaster.

She watches intently as Paige begins to peruse through the purple rucksack she’d been carrying. The first thing out of it is a picnic blanket and then a horde of different snacks, all of Azzi’s favorites. Two plastic champagne glasses are next and then a sheepish grin as Paige pulls out a bottle of soda.

“Couldn’t quite risk trying to get alcohol,” Paige scratches at her neck.

“Next time maybe,” Azzi shrugs as she helps Paige set up the arrangement and she feels herself fluttering at the thought of doing this again and again and again.

“How’d you even find this place?” she asks as Paige begins to pour out the soda.

“You ever heard of googling?”

Azzi rolls her eyes at Paige’s teasing smirk, “how’d you even have time to do this?”

Paige is quiet for a second as she passes Azzi her glass, “wanted to do something special for us,” she says quietly, keeping her eyes intently on what she’s doing as she pours out a drink for herself, “wasn’t hard to find time for you.”

“You could be a poet, Paige Bueckers,” Azzi whispers and she knows it’s unfair of her but she thinks it anyway. As long as all your poems are about me.

“The poets are lucky I chose a ball instead of a pen. They’d be out of a job otherwise,” Paige says, trying to ease back into the more familiar arrogance.

“Always so humble,” Azzi says, rolling her eyes as she holds up her glass, “alright what are toasting to?”

“I came up with this whole thing. You can come up with a toast,” Paige scrunches her nose and Azzi shakes her head at it.

She thinks for a second before smiling brightly at the girl in front of her, “let’s just keep it simple and toast to us.”

“How original,” Paige teases but she clinks her glass against Azzi’s anyways, “here’s to us.”

“Here’s to us,” Azzi repeats as they both take sips of soda.

They melt into a comfortable silence, relishing in this rare moment where there isn’t a screen separating them from each other. Facetimes is a wonderful creation but a blurry screen, Azzi decides, doesn’t nearly do justice to just how damn pretty Paige is. Her hair is golden as it basks in the glow of the moon and Azzi wonders if the stars are jealous of how brilliantly the blonde’s blue eyes twinkle.

It’s Paige who speaks first, her voice hesitant, “you uh- you never asked me how my date went a couple of weeks ago.”

Azzi feels her whole body go rigid. She’d almost forgotten about Paige’s wretched date. The blonde had told her about it a couple of days before the actual event and Azzi had played the dutiful role of a best friend, teasing Paige with a light-heartedness she didn’t feel and congratulating her with an excitement that came from anywhere but from the heart. She’d purposely avoided Paige’s calls the day of the date and then two days after, coming up with some sorry excuse she no longer remembers. On the third day, when the hollow ache of i miss her voice in her chest had become too hard to ignore, Azzi had finally picked up the phone and diverted the conversation straight to a different topic. She hadn’t thought of the date since.

“Guess it slipped my mind,” she says airily, fingers gripping the edge of the picnic blanket.

“I could tell you about it now,” Paige says slowly.

I’d rather you didn’t, Azzi thinks but that’s a thought that veers a little too out of the sphere of best-friend-isms and so she simply nods her head, “y-yeah tell me about it. How was it?”

“It was nice,” Paige begins and there’s something hidden in her tone that Azzi can't quite place but she’s a little too busy sulking at the idea of Paige with anybody else to try and decipher it, “dinner was good. Took her to a movie after. That was good too.”

“That’s cool P. I’m glad- I’m glad you had fun,” Azzi says nonchalantly, gripping the glass in her hands just a little too tight.

“I didn’t.”

“What?”

“I didn’t really have that much fun,” Paige clarifies and Azzi gawks at her in confusion as the older girl fidgets with the frayed edges of the picnic blankets, “just didn’t- didn’t feel right. Don’t think she had much fun either. She never texted me after.”

“What a bitch,” Azzi bites out, suddenly irrationally angry at a girl she’d never met because how could anyone possibly not have fun with Paige, “I’m sorry P. You deserve-”

“I didn’t care that she didn’t text back-”

“Still. It’s just the decent thing to do,” Azzi rants.

“Maybe,” Paige shrugs, “but I didn’t have time to care about that. I had other things on my mind. Like the fact that you weren’t talking to me.”

Azzi flinches at the accusation, rushing out her previous defense, “I was busy.”

“Bullshit,” Paige sneers.

“Paige-”

“But I get it,” the older girl says softly as she reaches for Azzi’s hand, tugging the brunette closer to her and Azzi feels something inside her erupt at how close their faces are, “I probably wouldn’t have talked to you for two days either if you went on a date with someone else.”

“Oh,” Azzi breathes out and there’s probably something more eloquent she should say but there’s this realization of maybe you feel it too that’s beginning to creep up her spine, rendering her speechless as Paige continues to stare at her like she’s mapping out all the tiniest details of Azzi’s face.

“The whole date, I kept thinking how you wouldn’t order what she ordered off the menu or that you would probably hit my hand if I tried to steal something off your plate but then give it to me anyway. And that the movie would never have been so quiet with you and we’d probably get yelled at for giggling too much and I-” Paige pauses, dragging in a deep breath, “I definitely would’ve kissed you at the end.”

A sigh of relief escapes Azzi’s lips, “you didn’t kiss her.”

“No,” Paige confirms as she drops her forehead against Azzi’s, “but I-,” the blonde gulps nervously and Azzi can’t help the way her hand reaches up to caress the blush forming on Paige’s cheeks.

“Ask me,” she whispers.

“I really want to kiss you,” Paige confesses, voice shaking slightly, “can I kiss you?”

Azzi doesn’t say anything, choosing to reply instead by pressing her lips softly against Paige’s. They move slowly at first, testing each other’s boundaries and savoring their first taste of each other. Azzi pulls the older girl onto her lap, hands firmly on Paige’s hips as the other girl clasps her own hands around Azzi’s neck. It’s a little messy and uncoordinated and Azzi thinks they might need to practice a little more to really get it right but still, it’s everything.

And Azzi just knows

She knows it then just the way she knew Tim was meant to be her dad. The way she knew Jon and José were meant to be her brothers. The way she knew she was meant to play basketball. Azzi knows that she’s meant to fall hopelessly in love with Paige Bueckers.

March 2033

There are three things Azzi should do.

Push Paige away

Tell her this a bad idea

Run the fuck away

She does none of the above.

Instead Azzi kisses Paige back.

And it’s still everything. Like the sun and moon are colliding and creating something so insanely powerful; something that feels so eternal.

There’s nothing soft or slow about it as Paige presses every inch of herself into Azzi until she can feel Paige’s heartbeat as strongly as she can feel her own. It might be impossible but she swears their hearts are talking to each other, tapping out rhythms against each other’s chests that confess all the things their owners are too scared to say. And Azzi wants nothing more than to lose herself completely in the moment because Paige’s lips feel like a drug and Azzi thinks she might just be an addict in relapse.

Except to relapse, you need to have recovered. And Azzi doesn’t think she ever fully recovered from Paige.

It isn’t until she feels her back hit the edge of a desk and the sound of something crashing onto the floor infiltrates her ears, that Azzi finally comes to her senses. She tears her lips away from Paige as the older woman groans in protest, arms tightening their hold on Azzi’s waist so she can still have some semblance of control over the situation. And really Azzi knows she’s strong enough to escape Paige’s grip, could easily fight it if she wanted to. But well, she doesn’t want to. And Azzi’s tired of doing things she doesn’t want to do.

“Paige-”

“If the next words out of your mouth are ‘we can’t do this’, Azzi I swear to god I’m going to kill you,” Paige threatens, pressing her forehead against Azzi’s.

Azzi laughs softly and she can feel Paige’s whole body relax at the sound of it and like clockwork, she feels the tension beginning to release from her own muscles, “if you kill me then we definitely can’t do this.”

“I’ll revive you after or something,” Paige says with a half-smirk.

“Or something,” Azzi rolls her eyes, “but we can’t-”

“Azzi,” Paige groans.

“We can’t do this right now and definitely not here,” Azzi amends, alluding to the fact that they’re still in Steph’s office.

Paige raises an eyebrow, cocking her head slightly, “but we can do this later? Somewhere else?”

The question lingers between them as Azzi bites her lip. She knows what this is, knows that it’s Paige putting the ball in her court. A ‘no’ would likely be the end of things and that scares her more than she’s willing to admit but she’s not quite ready to commit to a ‘yes’ yet, even if that flame of desire inside of her, the one that can only be lit by Paige, is blazing hot through her veins.

“I don’t know,” Azzi says carefully, shivering at the way Paige’s thumb is rubbing circles against her waist, the flimsy material of her shirt doing nothing to prevent the goosebumps forming on her skin, “TBD.”

“That’s not a no,” Paige says carefully, hope blossoming freely on her face.

“That’s not a yes either,” Azzi warns half-heartedly.

“But it’s not a no,” Paige presses.

“No,” Azzi admits, playing with the neckline of Paige’s shirt, “it’s not a no.”

And Azzi’s so scared of the future, scared that if she lets herself burn, she’ll incinerate everyone around her but there’s something in the way Paige smiles at her words. Something that feels a lot like a promise of i’ll be the rain that washes out the fire before you can turn us to ashes.

“I can work with that,” Paige says softly, tilting Azzi’s chin up.

“So desperate to get back into my pants Bueckers,” Azzi teases and she expects a witty remark in return but instead she’s met with nothing but sincerity.

“So desperate to get back into your life,” Paige whispers, voice cracking on the last two words.

Tears prickle against Azzi’s waterline as she stares in awe at the girl in front of her. Sometimes she thinks Paige doesn’t even know that there’s a halo of goodness sitting above her head, doesn't even know just how beautiful her soul is. Paige is stunning on the outside; it’s something no one can deny. But it’s nothing compared to how gorgeous she is on the inside, nothing compared to how kind, how humble, how forgiving Paige is.

“Why?” Azzi asks, her tone rife with heaviness.

“Why what?”

“After everything, after all this time, why would you still want to be in my life?” the tears fall harder as Azzi struggles to breathe, “I- I broke your heart. I broke us. How could you possibly want that again. How could you possibly want me again?”

Paige's eyes soften as she cups Azzi’s cheeks, thumbs brushing away at the drops of water running down them, “because you’re Azzi. My Azzi. And I get it- I get that you’re not ready to be all in on this with me yet and if I’m being honest with myself, I’m not completely ready either. But we can work on it right? Take it slow and see where it goes and maybe we’ll- maybe we’ll be even better this time.”

“You think so?”

“I believe so.”

Azzi presses her lips delicately against Paige’s, reveling in the way it makes Paige’s breath hitch. She pulls away faster than she would like herself and Paige chases her lips, eyes still closed.

“What was that for,” the blonde asks, slightly dazed.

“For being my Paige.”

***

Azzi taps her foot impatiently against her wooden patio as she glances at her phone clock for the umpteenth time. Paige is almost twenty minutes late to pick her and Stephie up to go to dinner at her parent’s house. The invites had technically been separate but Paige had insisted that they needed to go together because Paige didn’t want to walk into the house alone. Azzi’s not sure why Paige is nervous to see her dad and brothers again, not when she’s pretty sure they’re bursting with excitement to see the blonde whose pictures still have a permanent place on the family photo wall, but if Paige wants Azzi by her side, well she’s not going to say no. Not anymore.

It’s been a week since they’d agreed to take things slow and Azzi’s still not quite sure what exactly that means, but she thinks she likes it. She likes being able to call Paige and not having to come up with a lame excuse for why. She likes that she and Paige can take Stephie out for ice cream after Curry Camp and they don’t have to pretend they’re only tolerating each other’s presence for the little girl’s sake. She likes that they can brush their pinkies while walking and instead of jolting away, they simply just link them together. There’s boundaries of course. No sleepovers at either of their houses. No doing anything more than kissing. No kissing in front of anyone else and definitely no kissing in front of Stephie. No doing anything in front of Stephie really. And there’s still so much mountain left to climb but as long as they’re pushing up it together, Azzi doesn’t think there’s any incline steep enough to stop her from continuing up this path.

“Miss Buecks,” Stephie squeals as Paige’s car rounds the corner into Azzi’s driveway.

Paige steps out of the car, arms wide open and ready to catch Stephie as the little girl goes tumbling down the front porch, aiming straight for the blonde. Azzi’s not an artist by any means but if she was, she thinks she could paint a thousand pictures of Stephie and her Miss Buecks. It terrifies Azzi a little bit, just how perfectly Stephie fits into Paige’s side but it calms her too because there’s a part of her that’s in love with how much they love each other.

“You’re late Bueckers,” Azzi chides as she follows her daughter’s path down the patio stairs.

Paige grins, shifting Stephie on her lap as she opens the side door to her car to pull out two bouquets of flowers

“Will these make up for it?” she asks slyly as she hands the larger one, an assortment of pink flowers, to Azzi and a slightly smaller bouquet of purple hydrangeas to Stephie.

“These are so pretty Miss Buecks,” Stephie gushes before pressing a kiss to Paige’s cheek left cheek and Paige beams at the compliment, “thank you Miss Buecks.”

“You took that long to get flowers?” Azzi asks with a raised eyebrow.

“Mama,” Stephie chides immediately, “you’re supposed to thank someone when they give you a gift.”

“Yeah Azzi,” Paige’s eyes glimmer with mirth, “thank me like Stephie thanked me. Don’t you think Mama owes me a kiss on the cheek Steph?”

Azzi narrows her eyes at the scheming pair in front of her as Stephie nods animatedly at Paige’s question, “yeah Mama you owe Miss Buecks a kiss on the cheek.”

Shaking her head, Azzi walks over to Paige taking deliberately steady steps. Slowly Azzi leans in, puckering her lips. Paige closes her eyes and Azzi winks at Stephie who’s eyes widen.

“I’m waiting,” Paige sing-songs, a self-satisfied smirk taking over her features.

And instead of the promised kiss, Azzi licks a sloppy strip down Paige’s cheek and the blonde shrieks as both Azzi and Stephie burst into laughter.

“EW AZZI GROSS,” Paige whines, hurriedly rubbing her shirt against her cheek, “is this what you’re teaching your daughter?”

“I’m teaching my daughter not to let anyone manipulate her,” Azzi says, giving Paige a careful look, “now why were you late?”

Paige grins sheepishly as she opens the door to the backseat of the door. A lavender car seat is placed on the left side of the car and Azzi feels her heart lurch with no one’s ever cared like this.

“It’s pu-ple,” Stephie claps excitedly, “is it for me?”

“Of course it is,” Paige confirms, booping Stephie’s nose before looking at Azzi, “it’s just- we uh- we always have to take your car cause it has the car seat and moving it between cars is such a hassle. So I just thought- you know- I just thought it’d be cool- useful- practical- if I had one too? And this way if you ever need me to take Stephie off you then I uh- then you don’t have to worry about me driving. I don’t- I don’t really knows much about car seats but I looked it up online before and the person at the store agreed that this is definitely the best one- like I swear it’s safe-”

She’s cut off by the feel of Azzi’s lips pressed to her cheeks.

“Thank you Paige.”

***

Just as Azzi expected, Paige merges herself back into the Fudd family with the same ease she’d first had when she’d carved out a place for herself almost a decade and a half ago. It’s a little emotional at first when Tim opens the door, a smile almost as big as him decorating his face as he pulls Paige into a hug even before she can say a word.

“Welcome home kid,” he whispers into her blonde hair and Azzi doesn’t have to see Paige’s face to know that her best friend is blinking away tears.

Guilt surges in Azzi’s stomach and she tries to swallow away the lump of i took this from her that’s blocking her throat. It had been so simple at 15 to give Paige a part of her world; Azzi hadn’t thought twice about it. And then with the snap of her fingers, she’d taken that world away. She knows her parents had never cut Paige out; hell they’d been at her wedding to some other woman -and Azzi had pushed them to go knowing Paige would need it- but it was a far cry from what they’d been. A far cry from when Paige’s schedule was a key factor while planning Fudd family summers.

“Hey,” Stephie pouts, tiny hands crossed over her small body “I thought you always gave me the first hug Pops.”

“We’ll make an exception today,” Tim says with a wink before letting Paige walk into Katie’s arms and spinning his granddaughter around, “but you’re always gonna be my favorite.”

“I better be,” Stephie threatens and the adults around her laugh.

And finally it’s Azzi's turn to be pulled into one of her dad’s patent bear hugs. She goes willingly, always at her most warmest in the arms of the man whose blood might not run through her veins, but whose love had always protected her from the cruelties of the world.

“You look really happy today sweetheart,” Tim says softly.

Azzi’s eyes flitter over her father’s shoulder to where Jon and José are embroiling Paige in a group hug with Stephie in the middle of it, screaming about finally having their “white sister” back, as Katie and José’s fiancé Tallulah roll their eyes at the group of them, and she can’t help but smile into her dad’s shirt, “I feel pretty happy today.”

***

“You cheated,” Jon yells.

“Miss Buecks does not cheat,” Stephie yells back loyally.

“Don’t get into this Stephie. You don’t know her like we do,” José glares at Paige who narrows her eyes at him, “she’s been stealing from the bank.”

“Miss Buecks does not steal,” Stephie defends again, wrapping her arms around Paige’s neck from behind as the blonde presses a quick kiss against Stephie’s temple.

“It’s okay Stephie,” Paige reassures, gently swinging the little girl into her lap, “some people are just sore losers.”

“Can’t be a sore loser because I didn’t lose-” José coughs and Jon corrects himself immediately, “because we didn’t lose.”

“Y’all let it go,” Tallulah groans, leaning her head back against the sofa, “it’s literally just monopoly. Please, I'm so tired.”

“Just monopoly? JUST MONOPOLY?” José guffaws dramatically, “I can’t believe I’m marrying someone who doesn’t understand that it isn’t just monopoly Tallulah. It’s about liars and cheats and honor-”

“Miss Buecks has plenty of honor,” Stephie says stubbornly, leaning her head back against Paige’s chest.

Jon rounds on Azzi, who’s been silently watching the situation, “did you help her cheat?”

“Excuse me?” Azzi asks, glaring at her brother from where she’s been comfortable reclining on the sofa. She’d opted to be the banker instead of playing, content just handing out money to the rest of them while watching the game unfold. But really she hadn’t been paying much attention to anyone else but her daughter and Paige. Stephie didn’t quite understand the rules yet and so she was always on someone’s team. It had been a given tonight, that of course she would be with Paige. And Azzi had watched, trying not to be too obvious, with a foolish grin on her face, as her two favorite people whispered to each other, Paige listening intently to all of Stephie’s ideas whether they were good or bad.

“Oh good point,” José turns to look at Azzi too, “you’re the banker, did you help Paige cheat?”

“Mama would never cheat,” Stephie argues defiantly as Azzi pushes herself up from the sofa to send a menacing look to both of her brothers.

“I’m not going to dignify that accusation with a justification,” Azzi says, standing so she’s towering over her two brothers who are still sitting on the floor, “now clean up the game. It’s almost Stephie’s bedtime.”

They might be well into their twenties and José might be taller than her now, but they’re still not quite immune to Azzi’s wrath. Tallulah and Paige snicker as the two men, sulking at each other, obey their older sister's command without another word.

“You’ve gotta teach me how you do that,” Tallulah says, hi-fiving Azzi who smirks in response.

“Miss Buecks,” Stephie whispers, “what does dig-ni-fy mean?”

“Mean she’s not gonna entertain your uncles being dumba-”

“Paige!”

“Being dumbapples,” Paige corrects and both Azzi and Stephie give her an odd look at her ridiculous attempt at saving the bad word from leaving her lips.

“Alright Stephie-bean,” Azzi says, pulling her daughter off of Paige’s lap, “it’s late enough. Off to brush your teeth you go.”

Stephie looks hesitantly between the staircase leading up to the guest bedroom -where she and Azzi normally stayed- and Paige.

“Can Miss Buecks stay with us tonight?” she asks softly, one hand bunching in Paige’s shirt as she stares up at her mother with large doe eyes, “please Mama.”

“Stephie I don’t think-” Paige begins, ready to stick to the boundaries they’d laid out for themselves and really Azzi should let her; should follow her lead really.

Except the words are tumbling out of her mouth before she can stop them, “yeah she can- she can stay.”

“YAYY,” Stephie squeals, jumping into Azzi’s arms as Paige stares up at her in surprise, “thank you, thank you, thank you Mama. I’m so happy,” she swings from Azzi to Tallulah, “aunty Tully did you hear? Miss Buecks is gonna stay with us and you can make her your famous pancakes in the morning.”

“I can, can I?” Tallulah asks with a raised eyebrow as she lets Stephie and her excited chatter lead her towards the bathroom. With Jon and José both having already started towards their own rooms and Azzi’s parents fast asleep, it leaves just Paige and Azzi in the living room.

“You’re okay with me staying?” Paige asks softly, finally lifting herself from the floor and onto her feet.

Azzi scratches the back of her neck, “if- if you want to. You don’t have to. I can- I’ll explain to Stephie-”

“I want to,” Paige says, taking a cautious step towards Azzi, “but the rules?”

“This doesn’t count,” Azzi justifies and Paige smirks, taking another step towards the brunette.

“It doesn’t?”

“We said no sleeping over at each other’s places. This is my parent’s house. So technically it doesn’t count,” Azzi shrugs, trying to keep her face from breaking into a grin as Paige moves one more step closer.

“And where exactly am I sleeping?” Paige asks with a knowing grin as she loops an arm around Azzi’s waist, briefly checking to make sure no one’s around.

Azzi tilts her head, letting the grin break through, “I think Stephie would like it if you slept with us.”

“Ah well if that’s what Stephie would like,” Paige says, nodding commiseratingly.

“For Stephie’s sake,” Azzi repeats as she wraps her arm around Paige’s neck, pressing her forehead against the older girl’s and letting herself just breathe in the peace that comes with being all consumed by Paige.

“Azzi,” Paige’s voice is laced with uncharacteristic vulnerability as she speaks again, “you won’t- you won’t run away again tomorrow morning will you?”

“No,” Azzi promises, gently brushing her lips against Paige’s, “I won’t run away again.”

#pazzi #paige bueckers #azzi fudd #wcbb

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sarawritestories · 7 months ago

Note

Heyy I read your period fic with cassian and I absolutely adored it! I love how you write cassian as a caring male...and honestly I would envision Helion the same too with his partner/mate when she is on her cycle...If its not too much of a hassle...i wanted to request a helion x reader fic where they are sleeping together but when reader wakes up in the middle of the night and sees that she has bled through the sheets and this is her first time having her period in front of Helion so she is terrified and nervous of Helion waking up and seeing the mess she has made..but Helion ends up waking up with only wanting to take care of the reader and help her with her cramps❤️

Hi Anon, Yes, and as I have just fallen victim to my own cycle, I felt it was appropriate to get some Helion loving here because a high lord taking care of their mate in pain is Yummy!

I'm sorry this took so long!

Fuck Propriety

Helion X Autumn Court Fem Reader

Summary: You got your cycle for the first time staying over with your mate. When the High Lord of the Day Court finds you on the floor writhing from the pain, Helion begins to take care of you, whether you want it or not.

Content Warning: bad cramps, bleeding through sheets. Swearing, but the title makes that a given. A little bit of self-loathing sprinkled as well.

ACOTAR MASTERLIST

Unrelenting pain awoke you from your sleep. Creaking your eyes open as a wave of cramps attacked your body. Suppressing a whimper, you sat up, and the familiar sensation hit you, followed by the scent of your blood. Your eyes widened.

No. No. No. No.

You looked over at your sleeping mate, his brown toned back rising and falling with his breaths. Even in his sleep, Helion was regal. Shame swept over you like a violent current in the Summer Court. The first time you stayed with your mate in his court and you had gotten your cycle.

How could you be so careless?

You found out Helion was your mate 6 months ago. Swept up by his beauty and playful personality, you must have forgotten to keep track of your cycle. You spent most of your time admiring Helion and his freedom to express himself the rest spent making sure you were poised and presentable, suitable, for a High Lord just as your mother taught you. How living in the Autumn Court had taught you.

Helion's kindness and warmth had lowered your walls slightly, and you felt comfortable talking with him. Had you been keeping better track, you would have rescheduled your visit to the Day Court Your mother's voice rang loudly in your ears:

How would a High Lord trust you with an heir if you can't even keep track of your cycle?

Her words stinging in your mind as another wave of cramps hit you. Gritting your teeth to prevent you from crying out, you tried to move only for more pain to erupt from your abdomen. Sweat coating your brow, you breathed through the cramps, trying hard not to disturb the sleeping high lord beside you. Finally, the pain eased, and you gently slid out of the bed.

Turning back toward the mattress, you felt tears begin to form as a giant stain of blood glaring back at you. Your mother's voice rang out once more:

Stupid child, how can the High Lord ever respect a mate that sullies his finest sheets the first time she stays over?

You clenched your hands into fists so tightly you hadn't realized you broke skin, as two words kept repeating over and over.

Bad Mate. Bad Mate. Bad Mate.

You ran to the bathroom, right as you had shut the door, you were attacked by another aggressive wave of cramps. The pain over took your senses as you collapsed to the floor. The cool marble floor was a welcome reprieve to your feverish skin. You could only manage to focus on the pain you hadn't realized that you were screaming or that the bond was now open and everything you were feeling was being sent down the gold thread to Helion.

****************************************************

You heard your name being called repeatedly. You opened your eyes to meet the concerned golden hues of your mate's. Your body had fallen unconscious. You were so devoured by the pain to notice. "Sunshine, are you alright?" Helion's voice grounding you from the pain that began its relentless attack. He had laid your head on his lap his fingers running through your sweat coated hair.

"You aren't supposed to see me like this." You whimpered as your body rides out the pain, a fresh scent of copper flooding your nose as you cover your face in embarrassment. "Go back to sleep, I promise I will be okay."

Helion's fingers pulled from your hair and his hands engulfed your wrist, pulling them away from your face to see a fresh batch of tears. His dark brows furrowed, "You expect me to go to bed?"

You had forgotten about the bed sheets now soiled with your blood. "No, of course not, High Lord, not until I put clean sheets on, I will go-" You sit up and try to stand only for your cramps to send you back to your knees. A grunt of agony escaped your lips as toned muscular arms wrap around your waist and pull you back to a sitting position. He pulled your back flush with his bare chest, his body providing warmth to your clammy form. Helion places his hands over your womb, and his fingers begin to massage it, dissipating the pain. You sobbed at the relief his kneading does for the pain. Yet your mind still fought, "Helion, I have to clean up my me-"

Helion was swift to cut you off, "You will do no such thing. The only thing I want you to do right now is sitting right here with me and listening. Can you do that for me, Sunshine?" You nodded your head and leaned against his shoulder. His hands found yours as he intertwined your fingers, providing you with a sense of calm. "Good, first things first, you are never to call me High Lord. Ever! Unless my head is in-between your delicious thighs, then you may moan out my title as much as you please."

You hummed at the thought of your mate's tongue against you, your eyes fluttered closed, and Helion chuckled at the scent of your arousal. Another round of pain hit you, and Helion adjusted his hold so your knees and back were secure and hoisted you up. With his magic, he filled the tub with steaming water, and with a snap of his fingers, the two of you were undressed. He placed you in the tub, a moan escaping your lips as the heat of the water began relaxing your muscles. Helion slid into the spot behind you and began rubbing your shoulders.

"Sedondly," Helion continued, "When you are ill or in pain, I am responsible for taking care of you. I promised you as much when the bond snapped into place. No, I will not let you clean up your bloody sheets. No, you will not be bathing alone on your cycle and trying to manage your pain alone. I will not allow it. I want to take care of you. So please let me know." His lips find the side of your head and presses lightly. His long dark curls fall down your shoulder as he moves his lips to your cheek and down your neck, causing you to giggle.

After he stopped his kisses, he turned your head so your eyes met his once more. "This last one is important, so pay attention." He sighed and placed a tender kiss to your lips, sending love down the bond. "You do not have to be prim and proper with me. You are mine. I will love you no matter what. I've been trying to get that wall, your mother built around your heart, since we met. The wall that doesn't allow you to bask in the sunlight on a warm day. The one that doesn't allow you to dance with me in the kitchen like no one is watching. The one that doesn't let me kiss you in public, in front of our court."

"Our court?" You blinked.

His full lips curved into a grin, showing immaculate teeth, "Our court, did you think you were going back to Autumn after this visit, Sunshine." You blushed. That's exactly what you thought you should have known better.

You frowned slightly, "But It's not proper to sho-"

Helion growled, "Fuck Propriety! I love you. And I want everyone to know it." His eyes softened as he placed a tender kiss on your shoulder. "Sunshine, I want you to know how much I love you. I want to show you that love. I want you to feel comfortable showing me your emotions. If you were, maybe you would have woken me up to tell me what was going on. Because you weren't open, and you didn't tell me; I woke up to feeling this heavy pain in my chest realizing the pain was shooting down the bond, the scent of your blood and you screaming in the bathroom. When I found you unconscious, I..." He paused, and you placed a hand on his cheek, turning your whole body to face him. He shook his head, the beads in his hair glimmering in the fae light. He gave you a sad smile as he leaned into your touch. "I just want you to be comfortable here to be who your truly are. To be able to express yourself and to ask me for help when you need it."

You bit your lip for a moment for a moment before whispering, "What if I don't know who I am?"

Helion's smile gave you butterflies in your stomach as he pressed his lips to yours. Pulling away he placed his forehead onto yours, "Then we will discover who you are together. What a fun adventure that will be." His tone held genuine excitement.

"And you will still love me?"-

"Until my dying breath, Sunshine." He kissed you once more.

"I love you." You blurted out, heat rising to your cheeks at the confession.

Helion chuckled, "And I you, now let's get you cleaned up.

So Helion washed you from head to toe. As the two of you began to talk, you began to truly open up to him, and in the conversation, you forgot about the pain. He dried you off and gave you some linen to line your underwear to help with the bleeding, along with his shirt to wear, knowing you would find comfort in his scent.

He led you to the bedroom where there were fresh sheets, a steaming cup of tea, and a tonic for the pain. No male had ever been this attentive to your needs before. Tears began to run down your cheeks, and Helion was quick to kiss them away. "None of that. Come now." He had you sit on the edge of the bed where he tilted your chin up slightly and pressed the vial with the tonic to your lips, which you greedily took. Then he handed you the tea and made his way to his side of the bed. He watched as you placed the mug on the nightstand, and his arm snaked around your middle, gently pulling you toward his body. You laid down and adjusted yourself to face him. He kissed the tip of your nose and smiled, "Say it again, Sunshine."

You knew exactly what he was asking for. "I love you, Helion."

He pulled you close, your head laying on his bare chest. "I love you too." Your eyes drifted closed as you fell into a deep slumber, to the sound of your mate's heartbeat.

#helion x reader #helion acotar #helion spell cleaver #high lord helion #helion x fem reader #helion x you

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ifimdreaming · 9 months ago

Text

can i take you home?

luke hughes x reader || angst, fluff

request: “i like the idea of her best friend going to michigan/dating a former teammate of lukes so thats how luke and reader meet! i love angst and given that its lukes rookie year/she goes to college in another state, maybe they could be friends w benefits but both have strong feelings.”

author's note: i thought this request was so so cute so i kind of took it and ran. also kinda influenced by i miss you, im sorry by gracie abrams. this is also super long but i hope the ending is worth it. let me know if i should do more parts of this!

word count: 5.0k

Waking up to the sound of your best friend pounding on the guest bedroom door at 7am was not exactly the best way to start your day. But since you are staying the weekend in her student house that she shares with 5 other people, there are definitely unluckier ways you could have been awoken.

“Morning sleepy head!!! I'm so happy you're up!” your best friend Emma almost shouts as she barges in the room, after you very reluctantly told her she could come in. She immediately begins opening the curtains, and rummaging through her closet to find her outfit for the day.

In her haste she almost spills the two cups of coffee she had brought up from the kitchen as she sets them on the dresser beside the bed, her mug being almost completely empty anyway. You can tell by her enthusiasm and caffeine intake that she has been up for quite a long time before deciding to wake you up.

You groggily roll over and face away from the wide open curtains, not ready to face the day yet and really disappointed in yourself for choosing to drive up so late last night in the first place.

Of course you were happy to be able to visit your best friend, the two of you going to different schools making it incredibly hard to spend much time together anymore. But being back here brought back so many memories of the last time you visited. Both good and bad. And to be honest, all you could think about was him. From the very moment Emma invited you, he has been on your mind nonstop.

The way he made you feel so utterly adored when he brought you back to his room, how he spoke to you so gently and quietly the one morning when you were hungover, the time he spilled and called you ‘his’ while you were in bed together, and how much it seemed like it would last forever. It was all coming back so strongly.

“So, what are the plans for the day Little Miss Sunshine?” you sit up, reluctantly speaking your first words of the day after clearing your throat.

“Well! First I thought we'd go get bagels for breakfast from down the street, and then I think one of us may need a quick shower before we officially start our day…” Emma says with a hand on the side of her mouth, pretending to be saying a secret as she is side-eyeing you, and you just stare at her offendedly, “Aaand we are doing something tonight so maybe we should go shopping..” she says quickly and excitedly, clearly brushing past what exactly it is that we are doing tonight.

“Alright then.” you say as you check your phone for probably the 20th time in the 10 minutes you've been awake. And you can see Emma staring at you from the corner of your eye so you decide to throw your phone to the other side of the bed, getting up and ready to go. You knew she wasn't oblivious, but you did not want to acknowledge the look she was giving you right now, and honestly it did not seem necessary to bring anything up.

Besides, this weekend isn't even about him. Dylan's surprise birthday party is tomorrow and your best friend was so excited to be planning it with your help. She hadn't done anything this extravagant for her boyfriend before and she wanted everything to be absolutely perfect.

Obviously the last thing you would want to do is ruin this weekend for her, and your stupid feelings and non-relationship are included in that.

The walk to the bagel shop seemed awkwardly long as you were both not acknowledging the fact that your mind is very very distracted. It wasn't intentional. But feelings and places have such strong connections and the fact that things felt so unresolved was not helping. Everywhere you are here reminds you of him.

“How's your bagel?” Emma speaks up, finally breaking the silence on your walk home, thankfully giving you an opportunity to get out of your thoughts.

“Oh it's good! Thanks! I was super hungry…” you say, trying to muster up a believable enough reason for why you've been so off today.

You continue walking and shuffling your feet in silence and are about to return back to the house before Emma looks at you and sighs loudly.

So. Close. You are literally about to step onto the driveway of the house when she stops you.

“Ok can we just talk about it please? Because there is no way we are going to get through this entire weekend just ignoring it.” she says, stepping in front of you and blocking any sort of way for you to get out of this conversation.

“What are you talking about?” you say with a grumble and a sigh. Knowing she is going to get it out of you. Obviously she would.

“Luke.” Emma says deadpan, waiting for your response.

For some reason at this moment you wanted to cry just hearing his name. But you also wanted to yell. Your feelings were confusing and annoying and it upset you to even have to talk about it with someone, even though you knew you should.

“I don't know. I DON'T KNOW. I can't stop thinking about him, and everything is so confusing.” you whisper-yell at her in frustration.

It pained you to admit that you couldn't get him off your mind. You didn't realise how much you even liked him until having to admit that.

“He visited me during christmas… I mean, he did in the fall, but this time felt different.” You continue, “We slept together again. Everything felt like it was going so well…And now nothing.” you admit to her and wipe your face with your sleeves, angry at the tears that have fallen from your eyes.

“Has he called?” She asks warily.

“Once? Last week. It was short… but he sounded sad. He said he misses me. And he told me he really wanted to visit me. And I've texted him since then and no response.” you look down at your feet as you speak. It really shouldn't be this embarrassing to admit. It's not like you were in a relationship with him anyway.

“He's going to be here...tomorrow? I didn't know if you knew..” Emma says as she grabs your arm and slowly brings you close to her as you begin walking inside together and you nod your head in her direction.

You knew he would be here. Dylan is one of his best friends, obviously he isnt going to miss his 21st birthday. But with how things were currently going, it honestly made you wonder if Luke would even want you here. And what do his friends even know about you two? Has Luke said anything? So many questions are going through your head that it is almost making you dizzy.

The rest of the day is so much lighter after your earlier conversation. Emma is exponentially good at cheering people up, and maybe even to a fault, will always be on your side no matter what. But you appreciated it regardless.

You are currently finishing up putting on your makeup and getting ready to go out tonight, still very unaware of what the plan even is. But you didn't have much of a choice in the matter as Emma has picked out every aspect of your outfit tonight - down to the shoes, makeup, and jewellery.

Suddenly Emma gets a call from Dylan and runs into her bathroom to answer the phone, the music cutting out that was playing from her phone as she heads off, and silence filling the room.

You weren't intending to be eavesdropping, but you are able to hear muffled voices from the other side of the door and very hushed arguing that you couldn't quite make out. Making you curious as to what could possibly be going on tonight.

Emma saunters back into the room with hesitancy, her expression is scared and concerned at the same time as she is approaching you almost in slow-motion, saying nothing.

“What is it? Just spit it out.” you say, already knowing you are either about to hear the worst news of all time or the worst news of all time.

“Ok surprise! We're going out for sushi! Yay!” Emma says, obviously starting with the good news and you stay silent.

“And…Luke is coming out with us.” she continues, flinching at her own words as she plops herself on the bed across from you. You sit at her desk, makeup in hand, and cannot help but have an absolutely astonished look on your face.

Nothing is able to even leave your mouth as her words run through your mind again and again.

“I am so SO sorry.” She starts. “One of the guys accidentally told Dylan that Luke is in town and I didn’t want to ruin the surprise for tomorrow, so I told Dylan that Luke and I were trying to surprise him tonight for dinner. I didn't know what else to say. It was literally the first thing that came to my mind. I'm so sorry.” she continues, worried she has done irreparable damage on your friendship.

“You can kill me now.” Emma blurts out defeatedly, wanting to keep the surprise for tomorrow and not wanting all her efforts to be ruined the day before the party.

Obviously you love that girl, but very much did want to kill her in this moment.

“Does Luke know I'm going to be there?” you ask, brushing past everything else she has said.

“Dylan said he would tell him, yeah, but if you don't want to come please don't feel like you have to.” she says with a small smile, hoping you have some-what forgiven her.

“No, I'll still come.” you say quietly but matter-of-factly.

If Luke knew you were coming, it would be weird if you decided to stay home now because of it, and besides, what would you do here alone? Thinking of what he would be doing and wishing you could read his mind is all you can think of.

“OH? This is good! Ok! Dylan said he is picking us up in 20 minutes!” Emma states, suddenly very excitedly, hoping it will cheer you up to see that she is excited. And as you continue getting ready, nervous energy and anticipation fill your body.

Dylan shows up right on time, unfortunately for you, not giving you any extra time to sit and wallow in your feelings.

It was inevitable that you would be seeing Luke this weekend, but this quickly and under these conditions was not exactly ideal. You were hoping to at least be able to have a one-on-one conversation with him before being thrown into random get togethers where things have no chance but to be awkward.

The drive to dinner is surprisingly happy. Dylan seems so excited to be seeing his best friend again. He can't stop talking about the last time they saw each other and how long it has been. And Emma's laughter and giddy energy is helping you calm down and distract you just a little bit.

“The reservation is for 7pm so we might have to wait in the car for a few minutes.” Emma says, checking her phone as Dylan pulls up to the restaurant a bit early.

The dim lighting and intimate booths look extremely inviting as you peer inside the windows of the restaurant from the parking lot. You can't help but get distracted by watching people inside as Emma and Dylan talk from the front seats of the car and are cutely chatting to each other quietly.

“There's my boy!” Dylan yells out as he jumps out of the driver's seat, running up to give Luke a hug across the parking lot.

“Ready?” Emma looks back and asks you, reassuringly placing her hand on your knee and rubbing her thumb up and down a few times.

“Guess so…” you say with a fake smile as you grab your purse from beside you, and as you are about to leave the car, you see a tall figure standing right outside your door.

Only a little bit startled, you look up to see Luke as he opens your door for you and greets you with a tired smile. He is dressed nicely in black pants and a cream cable knit sweater, his hair curly and tousled up like always.

As you step out of the car he brings you into a tight hug, like he just couldn't wait to hold you again.

“I missed you…” Luke whispers so quietly into your ear that you almost couldn't hear him. He swiftly leaves a gentle kiss to the side of your head as he brings his hands just a bit lower down your back, “I’m sorry” he says quietly as he releases you.

As much as you want to reciprocate, you are so caught off guard by his words that you just stare up at him without a word.

“Alright let's go! I'm so hungry!” Dylan says, unaware of the tension, as he pats Luke's back and wraps an arm around him, walking in front of you and Emma and into the restaurant.

Emma is glancing at you as you walk together, waiting to hear from you what Luke said, but you decide to ignore it with a shrug and she looks away.

Dinner is filled with laughter and catching up with one another. Surprisingly it wasn't even half as awkward as you built it up to be. Dylan chatting away with Luke as you and Emma giggle across from each other about all the drama at your respective schools.

Having a couple of drinks throughout the night was definitely helping, but regardless of that, you felt good. Really good.

“Luke, how's the love life going for you? You got a girl in Jersey?” Dylan asks with a laugh as Emma had just bragged about her and Dylan going on 2 years of being together.

She shoots you a regretful look as she hits Dylan's side with her elbow, not as discreetly as she probably wanted to, and your face turns bright red.

Luke looks down at his lap and shakes his head with a chuckle, seemingly avoiding eye contact with you at all costs.

“No man, no girl in jersey.” Luke says lightly as he takes a drink of his beer before the two of you make eye contact and he glances down to your fidgety hands that are in your lap.

“My bad, my bad…” Dylan says with a laugh as he clears his throat and starts back to finishing the food on his plate, Emma quietly shushing her clueless boyfriend beside her.

Your nervous hands continue to pick at your cuticles and you look over to see Luke inching his hand closer beside yours on the booth bench. Looking up from your lap, you see him glancing back at you as he waits for your reaction before discreetly taking your hand in his under the table.

The feeling of his hand in yours is so comforting and familiar and immediately eases your anxiousness. But you still feel so conflicted.

Luke always knew how to comfort you and distract you from your thoughts when they were out of control. Especially during busy school semesters and many nights spent together with him keeping you company while you anxiously wrote papers and prepped for exams.

He seemed to be there for you when it felt like you had no one else. At least that's how it used to feel. Now things feel so complicated. Not knowing the status of your relationship surprisingly taking a much larger toll on your ability to act like friends than you would have ever thought.

“So! I've got the bill tonight guys. Happy birthday Dyl!” Emma blurts out as the waiter approaches the table, she leans over to give her boyfriend a loving kiss, comfortably filling the awkward silence that had just taken over the table not long before.

“Thank you baby! And hey! thanks guys for coming out tonight too.” Dylan smiles at the both of you as he lifts up his glass for a toast. You all clink your glasses, wishing him happy birthdays that follow big swigs of your almost empty alcoholic beverages.

Walking out of the restaurant, your mind fills with running thoughts. You wish you had spoken to Luke more tonight but it was hard to not make anything obvious. He seemed good, but still weirdly sad and you wanted to talk to him about it so badly. You wanted to talk to him about everything.

As you near Dylan's car you feel Luke's hand brush against yours and lightly hold your wrist, turning you around to face him.

“Can I take you home?” Luke shyly asks you as you all stand in the parking lot together. You mutter a “sure” under your breath with a nod, and he looks to Dylan and Emma for confirmation, both of them nodding in agreement before bringing you into tight hugs and saying goodbyes.

“Tell me everything that happens girly.” Emma runs back over to you and whispers into your ear as she hugs you goodbye once more, and all you can do is let out a small laugh in response to her teenage-esque behaviour.

After Dylan and Emma drive away, the short walk over to Luke’s car suddenly seems agonisingly long and your heart is racing in anticipation. Over anything else that happens tonight, you really wanted clarity. But of course, thoughts of the worst possible outcome ever sneak their way into your mind.

Luke opens the passenger side door for you and you climb into his car before he gently closes the door and walks to the other side. As he gets in, he begins to start the car before he looks over to you and pauses, the quiet becoming almost painful.

You didn't know what to say, and you didn't want to say the wrong thing. So, waiting for him to break the silence seemed to be your best bet.

“I know I should have thought of something to say…” He starts, and shuffles in his seat, slightly bending his right leg so he is facing you a little more.

“I'm sorry. I shouldn't have stopped responding to you.” Luke continues, and you almost want to roll your eyes at his apology. It was so hard to be understanding when this felt like such a preventable situation on his part.

But you knew Luke. You knew when he was scared he got distant. You knew he was pulling back from you. You just didnt know why.

“Things have been so…weird…lately, and I just…I know I fucked up.” He confesses.

You didn't want to be reading between the lines anymore. You just wanted him to be honest with you about what he wants, and it frustrated you that he was being so vague.

“Luke, what do you want? Like, from me?” you ask innocently, but squint your eyes closed tightly as the words coming out of your mouth sound completely different from what you intended.

“Like, you told me we were friends. And obviously I was ok with that. But when you would visit me, we’d sleep together. And when you left it was like. I don't know…” you look down and pick at your fingers as you speak, looking up at him feeling like an almost impossible task.

“You told me you wanted to be friends.” Luke states, and gently grabs your hand. He holds it in his to stop you from destroying your fingers as you speak, which causes you to look up at him, thanking him silently, as he waits on your response.

“I said that because I knew how hard it would be for us to be so far away from each other.” you say strongly, feeling the sudden need to defend yourself.

“You know how important school is to me, and I know how important your career is to you. I don't want to distract you from what's important to you. I don't want to be the one that gets in the way of things, or be the reason why you're not as focused as you could be…as much as I want to be-” you begin to confess, but are quickly cut off.

“It's kinda too late for that…” Luke says with a chuckle as he tilts his head back against the headrest of his seat and looks out the front window, frustration still evidently seen on his face.

“What do you mean??” you ask, hoping he will elaborate a little more than he has been so far.

“You already distract me. I can't stop thinking about you. And it's obvious. In my game and everything too. Even Jack has noticed and he keeps asking me about you and I don't even know what to say. I can't shut him up. Cuz how am I supposed to tell him how I feel when I can't even tell you? Its actually really fuckin annoying.” he laughs as he explains, still looking ahead out the window instead of at you.

Luke has always sought to use humour and jokes in difficult situations, especially when it comes to his own feelings. He's clearly frustrated at himself and it hurts you to see him having such a hard time expressing himself.

“So why have you been so distant lately?! I’ve been really worried about you.” you say, suddenly feeling more confident in confronting him as he opens up to you.

“Cuz im scared im gonna fuck things up even more than I already have…” he says honestly as he turns his head to look at you again.

“I knew I should've said something from the moment we slept together the first time. I feel like I fucked up by keeping my mouth shut. It's been ruining my life to not just be honest with you.” he adds with a growl deep in his voice, anger at himself seeping through his words.

As he continues, you can't help but feel entranced by him in his current state, and suddenly you are very aware of how late at night it is becoming.

“It's my fault...” Luke says, and you desperately try to focus on his words and not his body.

But you can't help but think about how good his hands would feel on your body and how badly you want him to kiss you right here and now. You didn't care that you were still in the parking lot of a sushi restaurant. You didn't care that things were still so confusing and that this probably wasn't exactly the most ideal time to be feeling this way. You just felt like you needed him so badly.

“I've been treating you like shit lately. Regardless of us sleeping together, that should not change how I treat you. I've been a shitty friend to you, and I'm really really sorry.” he continues, and you are brought out of your trance.

His words hit you so hard. You both unknowingly made this relationship so complicated and weren't even aware of it. You knew Luke was not perfect, but for some reason you expected him to be able to read your mind, and vice versa. Even after being the one to say you should stay friends, you were silently upset that nothing was happening in the way you wanted.

“Luke, it's ok. Both of us have not been entirely honest with each other lately and it's made everything so… fucked up. We’re just… in a weird spot.” you say, hoping your words make any sense considering you zoned out for half of his apology.

“Can I just say that I want to be able to fix this?” Luke says as he places his hand on your thigh, his fingers mindlessly getting higher and higher as he rubs slowly back and forth. Trying his best to soothe you and unknowingly turning you on even more.

“It isn't just on you to fix.” you say as you place your hand softly over his, stopping his movement on your leg as to not let it overly distract you.

“Yes it is. I let you down. I fucked up by being so fucking…distant. I should've been more clear about what I want…that I want you..” Luke admits, giving into what he has wanted to say from the moment you got into the car together.

His eyes are fixed on yours and it makes your heart flutter in your chest. Hearing him so confidently confess how he is feeling after so long is such a relief. It makes you want to just tell him you love him right here and now.

“I know things are complicated…but, I really don't want to not have you in my life…” Luke adds as tears begin to well in his eyes, catching you both off guard.

“Oh Lukey.” you whisper as you hold his face in your hands, your heart melting at the sight of him.

Luke places his hands on your wrists, pulling them away from his face as he finally leans into you.

His lips hit yours with an intensity that you have never felt before from him. His hands move away from yours, and to the base of your neck, gently pulling you closer into him as he deepens the kiss.

Your eyes are glued shut as you are entranced by his lips finally being connected with yours as his tongue dances around in your mouth.

Needing to have your hands on him, you reach up to brush his face with your thumbs and then begin gently tugging at the curls at the nape of his neck, causing him to lustfully groan deep into your mouth. Your mind is filled with excitement and intensity as the moment grows in mutual desire.

“I needed you baby.” You say rushedly, disconnecting with him for only a moment.

Luke smiles against your lips as you connect again, and he places his left hand on your hip, massaging his fingers into your side. You lift yourself lightly onto the centre-console, desperate to be as close to him as you can get, and he lowers his hand just below your ass to help support you.

Although being in the close quarters of Luke's car while having such a monumental conversation about your relationship was not quite ideal, you were so thankful for it at this moment.

“I needed you too.” Luke says after coming up for air, and you just stare at him with a dizzy smile, your head reeling with arousal.

He pecks your lips a few times before lowering his head to your collarbone, gently kissing your neck and leaving red marks where he most definitely has before.

Your giggles fill the car as he continues expeditiously exploring your body, wanting to savour every moment of your presence and relishing in the way he is pleasing you.

Luke looks up at you with a smile before his eyebrows furrow and he is distracted by something behind you, causing you to whip your head around to look out your window, immensely alarmed at his expression.

Luke lightly lets go of you, allowing you to sit properly in your seat and as your eyes focus on the window, the sight of a kind-looking restaurant hostess tapping on the glass outside of your door almost sends you reeling into a panic.

Luke quickly reassures you with a laugh, placing his hand on your arm and starting the car before beginning to roll your window down for them to speak.

“I am so sorry if I startled you, but our restaurant has closed, which means we can no longer allow you to park here, as free parking ends at midnight.” the hostess explains politely while pointing to the sign posted on the brick wall just in front of Luke's car.

“Thanks Ma’am. We’re so s-sorry.” Luke pauses to hide his face, clearly hiding that he is about to break into laughter.

“We’ll leave right aw-” Luke laughs out, hardly able to finish his sentence before being sent into a fit of silent laughter.

“We’re so sorry. Have a good night!” you say more seriously, trying to make up for the completely unserious boy beside you.

“Goodnight guys!” the hostess says as she walks away, leaving you completely embarrassed and also scared half to death.

Luke continues dying of laughter and is hunched over the steering wheel as you punch his arm repeatedly to get his attention.

“That was awful! Why are you laughing so hard!” you say unimpressed, but still unable to hold back laughter of your own after seeing him look up at you with tears in his eyes.

“Fuck. I can't get over your face.” Luke says as he begins to come down a little, wiping the tears from his eyes. You just shake your head and begin to buckle your seatbelt, not taking any chances of having to be asked to leave once more.

“Fuck.” he says once more with a sigh, relaxing in his seat and looking over to you with a genuine smile before patting your thigh reassuringly.

You look to Luke expectantly and he stares back at you with a smirk before kissing your lips passionately, catching you off guard.

Your hands are drawn to his face as he nudges your chin with his, causing you to lean into him even further before he pulls away from you abruptly.

“Can I take you home?” Luke asks with lust in eyes as he brushes his thumb across your cheek, admiring every single feature on your face. His words having a different meaning to both of you than they have previously tonight.

“For real this time?? Because you know we cant sit in this parking lot any longer…” you say jokingly as Luke rolls his eyes at you and begins to put his seatbelt on.

“Yes, for real this time.” He retorts. His right hand eagerly finding yours as he interlocks your fingers with his, bringing your hand up to his lips to place a tender kiss before finally driving off.

#devils lb #nj devils #nhl #luke hughes #new jersey devils #jack hughes #hockey blurb #hockey imagine #luke hughes x reader #luke hughes fic #luke hughes fluff #luke hughes angst #luke hughes imagine #nhl blurb

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aquaticmercy · 1 month ago

Text

To be loved by Agatha

Agatha Harkness x fem!reader drabble in which she makes sure you can never die.

warning : possessive/obsessive love and violence (not towards you)

note : Hi I am an Agatha simp.

Requests are open!

○ buy me a ko-fi ○

Agatha loves either loves dearly, or not at all.

When she feels love, she feels it in absolutes. There is no middle ground, no room for tentative affection. And lucky for you, she absolutely adores you.

She would move heaven and earth for you. She would move mountains and swallow seas if it meant you would wake up next to her every morning. Nothing in this reality or another could stand in her way when it came to you. You were her absolute everything, and she would worship the very ground you walk on.

And for that, you should feel lucky. But you also know luck can be a dangerous thing.

She had killed for you, and she would do it again in a heartbeat. Those who dared hurt you were stabbed, burnt, or ripped to shreds without hesitation, mere dust beneath her feet. You never witnessed any of it, of course. Agatha made sure of that. She wanted to protect you—from the world, and from herself.

You should know you never had a choice in this. From the moment her eyes locked onto yours, your fate was sealed. There was no escaping her love affection, no room to breathe or run. Not that you wanted to.

She made you immortal so you could spend eternity with her. The day she whispered ancient words over your sleeping body, binding your soul to hers, was the day you stopped being human, at least not entirely. You didn’t know it then, waking up the next morning with nothing but a faint headache and an unrecognisable feeling.

Over time, you felt it. Time no longer changed you as it once had. Days turned to weeks, to months, to years—yet you remained the same. Unmarked by the world as you had been marked by her.

At first, you were bewildered, even terrified. But as always, Agatha was there, soothing your fears. “We can be together forever,” she said with a smile that could have melted the toughest vibranium. “No one else deserves you. No one else could love you like I do.”

In reality, no one else ever had the chance.

In Agatha’s world, love is absolute.

And yet, despite fearing what living forever would do to your simple human mind, you wondered, would it really be so bad to spend eternity with her, to be adored forever?

The truth is, you will find out sooner or later. After all, she loves you too much to let you go.

-end

#agatha harkness x reader #agatha harkness #Agatha #Agatha harkness imagine #agatha all along #Agatha harkness drabble #kathryn hahn #agatha harkness x you #Agatha harkness x y/n #marvel fanfiction #fanfiction #marvel mcu #mcu #agatha harkness x fem!reader

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kopilot-pop · 1 year ago

Text

[Tired] pt.2

- Le Sserafim x 6thMember!Reader

Summary: After a harsh criticism from one of your teachers, you started to fall into a bad habit again. You started staying overnight at the company, your knees are always bruised, and you probably shouldn’t have 3 cans of Redbull everyday… Thankfully, your bandmates have easily recognized your behaviors and decided to put it to an end.

Warnings: overworking, self-hate, depression, suicidal intentions (very minor), fainting, hospital, needles,

a/n: sorry for the long wait. This is a bit shorter than I expected, but I hope you guys still enjoy.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The horrendous amount of caffeine started to take a toll on you.

During one of the last practices for your comeback, Chaewon stared at you worriedly.

But you were too busy staring at your shaky hands to notice.

After chugging another can of Redbull, you finished the practice and finally turned on your phone. Several missed calls and notifications from your group’s chatroom covered your phone.

You didn’t have the energy to care.

You fell asleep on the couch in the practice room.

You have a comeback tomorrow after all.

-----

Furious is an understatement.

Chaewon is absolutely mad.

The 6 of you gathered at the studio for Music Bank on the day of the comeback. While getting ready with makeup and outfits, you could tell the girls wanted to talk to you but were too busy to.

When you all finally got up to the stage, the jittery feeling became more intense. As the second verse started your stomach started to churn, your throat closed up - you almost missed your lines-

and once again you couldn’t stop staring at your shaky hands with bloodshot eyes.

Until you froze.

Your eyes met Zuha’s. And you watched in slow motion as she ran towards you, barely catching your body before it hit the ground, and the spotlight in front of your eyes shut down.

-----

“…..ays-… y..… med…-”

You finally woke up with a pounding inside your head.

The moment you could blur out the bright light above your head, you could see Sakura’s face and feel the cool cloth on yours.

She was carefully wiping away the sweat on your head and quickly noticed your eyes open.

“Y/n! How are you feeling?”

At the same time, you could hear a loud crash on the other side of the room.

“Y/n unnie woke up?!”

“Y/N ARE YOU OKAY-”

“G..guys… calm down..”

The three younger girls ran up to you, seeming to have been lounging on the couch together.

Eunchae, with teary eyes, pulled you into a tight hug.

“Hey! She’s not stable yet!! Don’t push her around!!”

Your leader walked through the doors to pull down the three puppies from you.

“Thanks..”

After a few moments of awkward silence, Chaewon finally started.

“You passed out on stage Y/n.”

“Chaewon, don’t be too harsh.” Sakura tried her best to keep the situation calm.

“I know unnie- Y/n. You fainted due to malnutrition. When’s the last time you ate anything?”

“…I’m not sure..”

“Of course you’re not sure. The only thing you’ve been putting inside your body was energy drinks-”

“Unnie..”

“No- We were all thinking so I’m just gonna say it- We thought you were gonna die Y/n.”

She said it so matter-of-factly that you could almost laugh. Almost.

“Why would y-”

“You were barely home, working like a slave every fucking day, starving, and depending on pain meds- so yeah, OF COURSE WE THOUGHT THE WORSE!!”

You finally gained the courage to look up at her teary eyes.

“Do you understand the amount of fear I felt when I saw you drop to the ground yesterday?! How terrified we felt when you didn’t wake up when Yunjin screamed your name?!!”

“I-..”

“Kazuha carried you to the hospital because she was too scared that something might happen to you if she let go!! Can you even imagine being that scared?!”

You looked down at your lap, fiddling with the needle(IV drip) inside your hand. Sakura gently held your hand to stop you.

“That’s enough Chaewon.” She said.

She’s never stern, but this time she was. Sakura gave you this look, something just like the one your mother always gave you.

Worried, angry, but somehow warm.

“We were scared Y/n.. More than the fainting, I was scared of losing you just like last time…”

Last time? Oh yeah. You almost killed yourself during debut.

“We care about you. You know that. All 5 of us love and cherish you, sometimes even more than anybody else in the world. And watching you slowly fade away like that just…”

She started to choke up. It was rare to see her like that, so you instinctively shot out to pull her into a hug.

Holding onto you, as you might just fade away, Sakura softly sobbed into your shoulder.

When you felt another weight on your back, you turned around to see the youngest also snuggling into you. Probably the person you mostly didn't want to catch you in such a depressing state.

"I...I'm sorr-"

Yunjin, with the same teary face all the others choked out;

"It's not your fault."

She slid next to the edge of the bed, gently holding onto Sakura's hand right on top of yours.

"I wanted to be better. Good enough to stand by you guys. I just wanted to-" You felt the tears finally fall free from your eyes as Chaewon with the same frown (albeit a bit softer) held your face.

Gentle. God, they were all so gentle with you.

"You are. You are good enough. You are good."

Watching you sob out, Kazuha finally joined into the pile, right next to Yunjin as she dries your tears with her old sweater sleeves.

You let out another ugly cry as you feel the 5 girls' warmth trap you. You forgot that you were good enough. You forgot how loved you were.

But just like always, they were there to remind you once again.

"You're loved Y/n. By us, always."

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girlgenius1111 · 11 months ago

Text

you don't have to pretend with me

ona x reader -sickfic ish

from a request- the req was for r with chronic pain but i've never experienced that and i didn't want to write it incorrectly, so i changed it to something i have some history with :)

You hadn't had a real period in years, having been on birth control since you were a teenager. It really limited the effects of your horrible symptoms. It was simple- a shot in your ass every three months was something you could handle. However, you'd completely forgotten to get it this time. Normally you planned your next visit at the end of your appointments, but the secretary had been out, so you were supposed to call to schedule the next appointment. It had completely slipped your mind, and by the time your realized your mistake, it was too late, and they told you that you had to wait 3 months from when you were supposed to get it, in order to not mess up the cycle.

It didn't really make much sense to you, but you didn't have a choice. All you could hope was that it wouldn't be as bad as you remembered it. The first month wasn't bad, barely more than what you usually dealt with on the shot. The second month was worse, but still, manageable, especially considering it came during an off week. You were quickly approaching the third month, and you knew it wouldn't be as easy this time.

2 days before you were supposed to get it, you found yourself in a heinous mood. You'd been short with everyone, all day, even Ona. Ona, your girlfriend, who had literally no idea what was going on. It felt ridiculous to you, to complain about what was going on when every other woman dealt with it to. You'd never heard Ona complain about her period, and you didn't want her to think you were weak.

More than that, you weren't sure she'd believe you. In your last relationship, anytime you were sick or in pain, your girlfriend didn't believe you, or told you that you were being dramatic. You didn't really realize how this affected your relationship with Ona, but as you hadn't told her this, she didn't know you'd been hiding almost any sign of weakness from her.

So, you just mumbled something about having an off day when she asked why you were so grumpy. She pretty much left you alone the rest of the day, giving you the space she assumed you wanted. The only time she spoke to you was to come into the living room where you were curled up on the couch, and wish you a goodnight, leaving a soft kiss on your forehead.

-----

You woke up in the middle of the night to the sensation that someone was standing on your abdomen. It had been so long since you'd actually had cramps, you were almost alarmed, until you realized what was going on. You didn't want to get any blood on the bed, nor did you want to wake Ona up for something so trivial, so you quietly padded into the bathroom, changed your pajama shorts, and then headed out into the kitchen in search of some painkillers.

Every step was agony, and you were walking hunched over, as what you could only describe as lightning strikes of pain rippled through from your belly button down to your core whenever you tried to straighten up. You didn't make it to the cabinet you kept the medicine in, instead collapsing into a chair at the kitchen table. As soon as you sat, the zaps of pain were replaced by a continuous ache across your stomach, and around to your back.

You couldn't help the groan you let out, as you twisted uncomfortably in your seat to try to relieve the pain. It didn't work. You knew what would work, but you were absolutely sure you couldn't stand up again and make it to the medicine cabinet. Instead, you put your head in your hands, feeling tears slowly leak out of your eyes. That only made you more frustrated, which in turn made you cry harder, until you were trying to stifle sobs with your hands at the kitchen table, in the dark, at 1am.

-----

Meanwhile, Ona woke to an empty bed. She remembered you climbing in with her after she'd already gone to sleep, waking up just enough to roll into you and smush herself as close as she could. This time, though, your side of the bed was empty and cold, and Ona was disgruntled. Sleepy Ona was a grumpy Ona, something you knew very well, and she squinted her eyes open, looking over at the bathroom door, seeing if you'd just gotten up briefly. The light was off in there, though, and your side of the bed wasn't warm, indicating that you'd been up for at least a couple minutes. Sighing heavily, Ona sat up, intending to wait for you, arms crossed, to return to bed. When she saw no lights were on in the rest of the house, though, she decided to get up and find you.

The only thing she could think was that you'd gone to sleep on the couch, which didn't make any sense. You'd been grumpy yesterday, sure, but you'd gone to bed with her, and allowed her to snuggle up to you, which you wouldn't have done if you were angry. Walking down the hall, heading for the living room, she heard an odd noise in the kitchen.

She changed directions, turning right instead of left, and discovered you, slouched over at the table, crying softly into your hands. Ona was immediately distraught at the idea of you getting up in the middle of the night and leaving your bed to cry by yourself, no matter what the reason, and not waking her.

"Cariño, qué pasó?" she asked, voice raspy with sleep. At her words, your head snapped up, looking at Ona with pain etched clearly across your face. "Amor," she says sympathetically, moving forward to stand by your side.

"Oni, go back to bed," you try, attempting to sound firmer than you felt.

"Not until you tell me what is wrong." Ona replies, actually succeeding in being firm. She brushes a loose strand of hair off your face, then combs her fingers through you hair. You melt at her touch despite yourself, before you hunch over again, another wave of pain shooting through your abdomen; you'd straightened up to much. You whimper quietly, and Ona's hand pulls off of you, worried she'd done something to hurt you. That gets you talking, never wanting Ona to think she's the cause of your pain.

"It's just cramps, Ona, I'm fine," you insist, even as your face scrunches uncomfortably, and you grit your teeth through another jolt. Though confused, seeing as though she'd never known you to have bad cramps, Ona wraps her arms around you without another thought, lifting you easily to carry you back to bed. She may be short, but she prides herself on being strong enough to carry you easily, despite your many objections. "Oni," you whine, yet still, you clutch onto her tightly, resting your head on her shoulder.

"Shh, let's get you back to bed."

Once Ona gently places you back on your side of the bed, she stands back, looking at you with a determined expression. It's almost funny really, the girl standing in front of you, wearing a baggy t-shirt and shorts, wavy hair wild around her head, trying to look stern. Ona couldn't look stern, she wasn't capable. She could only ever look adorable, at least to you.

"What will help you feel better?" She asks.

You bite your lip for a moment, before the pain wins out over your independence. "Paracetamol, please," you murmur.

She nods once. "Anything else?"

You're sure there's something you're forgetting, but it's been so long since you've had cramps like this, and it hurts too bad for you to think straight. "I don't know," you whisper finally, tears spilling over again.

"Okay amor, relax, I will take care of you," the brunette says gently, leaving you with a peck on your forehead. She's only gone for a few minutes, but when she returns, you've curled yourself into a little ball on the edge of the bed, as far from her side as you could get, obviously trying not to bother her. Ridiculous, considering she wasn't going back to sleep until after you did.

She gives you the medicine, handing you a new cold water which you accept gratefully. Then, before you can tell Ona to get back in bed, she leaves the room again. She returns fast this time, holding something in her hands you don't recognize.

The defender doesn't explain, either, even though she notices the questioning look on your face. Instead, she climbs onto the bed behind you, and nudges you out of your ball to lay in between her legs, head resting back on her chest. Still silent, she rolls your shirt up, massaging the skin of your abdomen lightly. Her warm hands feel so good, you let out a sound of relief. Smiling to herself, Ona places the heating pad she brought with her across your abdomen, clicking it on. You soften completely against her, letting out a long sigh.

"Thanks, Oni," you mumble, and she kisses the top of your head in response. She isn't done with you though, patting your arm lightly when your eyes flutter close.

"Do you normally have cramps this bad?" she asks, because the thought of you hiding this from her, like you'd been doing tonight, once a month for the entirety of the time you've been dating, makes her nauseous.

"No," you tell her sleepily, briefly explaining the situation you'd found yourself in. Ona is quiet for a few moments.

"Why didn't you tell me? And why didn't you wake me up tonight?" she wonders, not able to fully hide the hurt in her voice. You're fully awake now, almost reading her mind as you realize what she's worried about; that you don't trust her.

"I didn't think it was a big deal," you say quickly. "And I didn't want to bother you with it, with something that every woman deals with," you justify.

"Amor, you hurting will always be a big deal to me." Ona insists. "You should have woken me up. Do you... do you not trust me? Did I do something to make you thing I would not take your pain seriously?" the brunette asks, and you wince at the question. This was your problem, not Ona's. Could she not see that?

"No, Oni, of course I trust you. It's... it's not about you." You pause. "I didn't want you to think I was being dramatic or weak."

"Why would I think that? Why would I not believe you when you say you are hurting?"

All she gets is a shrug in response, and she feels you shutting down again. Unwilling to let that happen, she presses you further.

"No, amor, tell me. Did someone make you feel that way? Like you could not be honest about how you were feeling?"

You don't respond for so long that Ona thinks you've fallen asleep, or just aren't going to answer.

"My ex. She used to tell me I was being dramatic when I was sick. She was right though, I was," you rush to justify.

Ona's arms tighten around you slightly, and it reassures you. When she responds, you recognize an angry tone in her voice, but also a protective one.

"That is not what a good girlfriend does. I will never do that. You are allowed to be in pain, and be sick. You are not being dramatic for feeling things. It does not make me think any less of you, and it certainly does not make me think that you are weak." Ona declares.

"Are you sure? I'd understand if you thought I was exaggerating." you say quietly. At this, Ona tilts your chin up and to the side, so she can look into your eyes.

"I found you crying at the kitchen table, you were in so much pain. That is not dramatic, not to me. I am sure." Ona promises, and she feels you relax against her, if only slightly.

"I love you," you say quietly, voice cracking on the last word.

"Te amo mucho, cariño. Mucho mucho." Ona pairs her words with several gentle kisses pressed into the side of your head.

"Ona?"

"Sí?"

"Can I go to sleep or will this light on fire if I don't turn it off," you ask seriously, referring to the heating pad laying across your abdomen. You've never used one before, and you aren't sure what the safety requirements are. Apparently, this is a dumb question, because Ona bursts out laughing, disturbing the quiet murmur of voices you both had been keeping to.

"Sí amor, you can go to sleep. I'll put you out if you light on fire, te prometo," she tells you, still laughing. You roll your eyes slightly before allowing them to flutter shut, even though you know Ona can't see the gesture.

"Wake me up if it starts to hurt again?" she asks, seriousness returning.

"Te prometo," you say, echoing her words for just a second ago. A grin tugs at Ona's lips at your spanish use.

"Bueno. Goodnight my pretty girl," Ona whispers into your hair, her use of an english term of endearment making you blush.

With that, both of you allow yourselves to drift off. You're sure, now, that Ona will not care if you wake her up. Ona is sure that you will wake her up. Or, that she'll wake up if you do, seeing as though you're sprawled on top of her. She doesn't expect perfection, or for you to start coming to her with all your problems right away. She finds that she doesn't mind having to demonstrate her love to you, though. If there's anything she loves to do, it's remind you, everyday, that she loves you unconditionally.

-----

#woso #woso imagine #woso x reader #ona batlle x reader

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gojos-fr-bae · 1 year ago

Text

Stood up

Pairing: Gojo x fem!reader

Genre: angst to fluff

Word count: 1.1k

Warnings: Cursing

Three hours.

You waited at that damn restaurant for three excruciating hours receiving a pitiful look from the waitress and you just couldn't handle it anymore.

Your precious boyfriend had let you sit there and feel embarrassment flood you every time you caught someone staring at you before whispering to their date.

He couldn't even bother bother to text or call nor reply to your texts or answer your calls. And as if this all isn't bad enough this wasn't the first but fourth time that month and you couldn't take it anymore.

It's been so long you two spent time together. He always arrived home when you were already asleep and left before you could wake. You were the only one even tying to keep you two together and you were so, so exhausted. You couldn't keep giving your everything to someone and receiving nothing in return, after all you're only human.

And so, driven by pain, you ignored your tears and painful sobs escaping your chest as you packed all your belongings and wrote one last letter to your soon to be former lover.

It hurt you so much to leave knowing you may never love anyone the way you love him, but you had to do this for your own sake and if that meant walking out that front door and not turning back then so be it.

It had been a week since you left the house you shared with the love of your life and you had received nothing but silence from his end, and yet today you woke up to 45 missed calls and so many messages from the bastard but you couldn't bring yourself to open them. You knew that if you listened to even one of the voicemails he left your resolve would crumble considering the texts you also received from his students begging you to speak to him and talking about how much of a mess he is.

You were scrolling through their messages when you barely heard the gentle knocking on the door over the rain outside. You had been staying at your friend's that night and as far as you were aware she was spending the night at her boyfriend's so you had no idea who'd be at the door.

You got up, groaning from the headache your crying had caused and began walking towards the door. You opened the door, breath catching at seeing Gojo standing on the other side of the door. He looked up at you and his eyes began tearing up. They were swollen, red and had bags, his cheeks sunken in slightly. It felt like a dagger was jabbed into your heart and was being twisted. You couldn't bare to see him looking so broken.

"H-hi" he whispered, looking at his feet and fidgeting with the hem of his shirt so that you don't see him breaking or hear how his voice cracks.

"Hi"

"May I- umm, may I c-co-come in?" this time you heard how his voice wavered."

"Goj-"

"Please, d-don't call me that"

"Come in" You said, finally noticing how much he was shivering, his hair and clothes soaked.

"Satoru, did you, walk here?"

"Walk, stand outside the building trying to gain the confidence to enter what's the difference?"

"Oh no, I'm so sorry let me get you some spare clothes, I hope I have something that can fit-"

"No no, that won't be necessary I don't plan on staying long."

"Well in that case uhm... how can I help you?"

There was a heavy silence between you two as you stood in the doorway, waiting for him to respond.

"P-please" he croaked, tears beginning to fall down his face, "Please take me back"

"Satoru don't-"

"I'm so, so sorry. I'm such a pathetic and useless boyfriend and It's completely my fault that we split up because I stood you up and hurt you and I know I don't deserve to be forgiven but I'm begging sugar cube please, I can't live without you"

"Satoru you constantly disregarded me and our relationship. You never spoke to me, constantly stood me up and never even bothered to apologise ONCE, It's like you never even loved me in the first place!" You shouted, feeling your tears begin to blur your vision.

"I know and I'm sorry! I feel like and absolute piece of shit but I LOVE YOU Y/N! I love you so much it hurts, I love you so much I almost have a heart attack whenever you smile! And I love you because you are the only one who ever made me feel like that, only one who ever told me that I would be ok who ever held me when I cried, no one else but you!"

"Even if you do I can't keep carrying this relationship alone Satoru! I can't be at peace unless I leave"

"BUT YOU PROMISED!! YOU PROMISED NEVER TO ABANDON ME! PROMISED TO NEVER BREAK MY HEART AND I BELIEVED YOU! I STILL DO SO PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!" You were both sobbing now.

"Satoru, even if I said yes, I know I would never be your first priori-"

"I quit!" He pressed out quickly, looking up to meet your eyes and lacing your hands in his.

"Wh-what"

"I quit at Jujutsu tech immediately after reading your letter a-and I realised that you were right. You were right about everything! I had neglected and mistreated you so much when you deserved none of it and I'm sorry."

You were stunned. flabbergasted even. You knew how important Gojo was to the Jujutsu world and so did he. You were pretty sure that the world would fall into chaos, he was the only person keeping things in balance. And he quit...for you"

"Satoru-"

"Before you say anything, don't worry about money. I already have tons and once I'm head of the clan it practically doubles so I can spoil you the way you deserve to be"

"Goj-"

"And I promise I'll work harder to make you happy. I know I really don't deserve it because I'm a worthless piece of-"

"SATORU GOJO WILL YOU LET ME SPEAK!"

"Yes ma'am" he said, almost in a whisper.

"Did you really quit for me?"

"Yes"

"Do you really love me? "

"More than breathing"

"And are you really going to change?"

"Anything for you"

"Then if we give this one more shot things will really be different?"

"Yes"

"Okay, then let's do it, I mean what's the worst that could happen?"

His face lit up up before he pulled you into a bone crushing hug, burying his head in the crook of your neck.

"Thank you so much, I love you"

"I love you more sweetheart"

"Eh, doubt it"

Yay

#gojo satoru #gojo #jujutsu gojo #gojo x reader #gojo fluff #gojo imagine #gojo saturo #gojo x you #gojou satoru x reader #jjk gojo #gojo satoru x reader #gojo angst #jujustu kaisen #satoru #gojo x reader argument

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adventuringblind · 1 year ago

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Can I request an angst fic where reader is charles sister and she gets into accident (car accident or like wrong place wring time robbery, anything really) while he's in a race (lorenzo, arthur and their mother is with them) and xavi (🤢) is the one who answers charles' phone and decided not to say anything even after charles finishes the race and then the entire leclerc family find out after a reporter tells charles that "your nerves must be made of steel" and then everyone is confused and the reporter is all like "did no one tell you about your sister?" And like full angst when they find out that the accident hurt reader really bad (has problems with sight or maybe walking permanently, only if you're comfortable writing that) end it however you want, only if you want and if you are comfortable with this kind of stuff

Like Steel

Platonic!charles Leclerc x Sister!Reader

Genre: angst to fluff

Summary: Charles and his twin sister have always been close. Even being able to sense when something is wrong with the other. When Charles get confirmation after a race he was right, someone is to blame for his not knowing.

Warnings: car accidents, driving under the influence, hospitals

Notes: Xavi needs to get fired so my boy can have a chance. Also I don’t care if people smoke weed, but the amount of times I’ve almost been hit because someone was hotboxing their car is absolutely ridiculous.

Masterlist

To say Charles is close with his twin is an understatement. They are practically glued at the hip. They know what the other is thinking or feeling before any communication is had. Their connection to each other was concerning at first. But anyone could see that the Leclerc twins are just close.

Charles had been there through all of her breakups. Both with guys he did and didn’t like. She had been there through every step in his racing career.

It’s funny to say steps now, he thinks. Since his sister can no longer take any.

She’d gotten a job as the admin for the Ferrari instagram. She loved chasing around Charles and Carlos so the fans could see what they got up to in their down time.

She has a contagious smile that everyone can’t help but love. Her and Daniel were menaces to the paddock while he did media things for Redbull.

She’d been on her way to the paddock for her brothers home race. Monaco was the only race on the calendar where she got to wake up at home to go to work in the morning. She had a few PR things to do around the city first before she could head to the track. So she’d left pretty early. Deciding to walk since everything is so close together.

Charles knew she hated being late. Maybe that’s why the alarm bells were going off before he got in the car.

He’d waiting for her to show at the meetings. Then again while he was getting ready. He search before he got into his car. Then looked for her when her when he got to his grid box.

He felt it in the pit of his stomach that something had happened.

He’d managed to end the race in in first. Something that didn’t happen often so he was ecstatic. The thing every driver craves was once again in his hands. His family was there when he got out of his car. All except the one person he wanted to celebrate with most. Maybe she’d just gotten caught up in her duties?

It was his turn to interview. The smile on his face and cheers of the crowd made the endorphins in his brain skyrocket.

“Congratulations Charles! You must have nerves like steel out there!”

Nerves? Why nerves? He’s not nervous.

The reporter caught onto his confusion. “We’re you not made aware of your sister?”

“No what happened? Where is she?”

The reporter signaled to turn the camera elsewhere. Then walked to Charles to let him know in a normal conversation fashion. He’s grateful because not many would do that. “She was hit by a car this morning and is in the hospital.”

His heart sank. He looked to his family and by their shocked expressions they also didn’t know.

“Your race engineer Xavi said he got word off it right before the race. We figured you’d been told already. I’m sorry for the mix-up.”

“No it’s okay that’s not on you.” The he’s walking away. His team doesn’t try to stop him and he tells Carlos to stand in his place on the podium. He’s lost to many people already. He refuses to also lose his sister.

He doesn’t remember the car ride. Only the angry feeling knowing at his insides. He saw the call Xavi had answered in his call log. They didn’t call anyone else since technically, he picked up.

The rage towards his race engineer is not helping him think clearly. If she dies and Charles isn't there for her, he's never going to forgive himself.

He broke.

He saw her in the bed with machines and tubes everywhere, and he broke. He sobbed into his mother's arms. Lorenzo and Aruther trying to console each other next to them.

It's ridiculous, he thinks, how one person can attract so much death. Maybe it's to soon to say she's dead but by the look of things, she's halfway there.

He stays with her. Her hurts for her. Their stupidly strong connection makes this all the more difficult.

Pascale has forced him to leave her bedside on multiple occasions. But he always goes begrudgingly and under the stipulation that someone will get him if there are any updates.

It’s a month before she finally wakes up. Coughing and panicking. Charles is at her side immediately. Fate is certainly on his side today.

“What happened?” She asks after she could finally talk again. Though her voice is raspy and dry.

“You were walking to the track and got hit by a car. They were smoking marijuana so they didn’t see you.” Oh how Charles raged about that too when he found out. The stupidity of people sometimes amazes him.

The next words out of her mouth make him think that fate is just playing games with him at some point.

“Charlie, I can’t feel my legs.”

Turns out the car they hit her shattered a part of her spine, leaving her paralyzed. Now bound to a wheelchair.

Charles had to go back to traveling while she was doing physical therapy. She’s doing her best to learn how to do life now with her new set of circumstances. She did think it was funny getting to zoom around in her wheelchair and whizzing past her brother.

Her first appearance back at the paddock is a surprise to all. Mainly because she intended it to be that way.

She navigates down the busy path towards the Ferrari hospitality, her mother trying to keep up.

She missed being here. Seeing everyone so excited about the sport.

She came to a skidding halt at the door. Curse the stairs. Why don't they have a ramp? She'll be having words with Charles about this later.

"Maman! Can you help me please!"

It takes effort. She's still not quite used to everything but she's learning.

She successfully gets inside the door and into the main area of hospitality. Hugs greet her as some of the staff make their way over.

Now, the next part of this plan. Her mother calls Charles and puts it on speaker.

"Hello?"

"Charlie, I just got word about your sister. I'm in hospitality-" She puts on her best worried parent voice.

"I'm on my way."

It takes approximately three minutes, and Charles is barreling through the door of security. His oblivieness becomes obvious as he misses her sitting in the middle of the room and is worriedly hugging his mom and asking her frantic questions.

"Is she- why are you laughing?"

Pascale is crying from laughing so hard. She gestures to where her daughter is waving and trying to get her brothers attention.

"Oh my god. You scared me so bad! Don't ever do that again!" He scolds them both. Then her embraces his sister.

"I'm excited to see you here!"

"Any news about Xavi?"

"He finally quit a couple days ago. I basically ignored him the last few races."

"And you've been doing better? You've won twice this month."

"And if I ever see him again, I'll make sure he never wants to be near an F1 car again."

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buckyalpine · 2 years ago

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Hello, first I would like to say that I love your writing and it normally makes me really happy while I am at some boring classes at college, so thanks for that hahaha ❤️

Also, I saw your requests are open and since I am absolutely obsessed with your angst for bucky, I am here to request some.

My idea would be something like this: reader has been in the compound with the avengers for a while now and besides really caring for the team, she has some problems being more open with friendships and relationships in general, cause of some insecurities with her personality, but in somehow she feels really comfortable with Bucky and they are kinda of great friends?

And then she's just waking by the compound looking for him one day and she hears him speaking something bad about her? Something about how he feels like she's overwhelming him cause she just has him as a friend and no one else and it kinda makes her look for him a lot for comfort ( I actually have no idea what he could be speaking, so this is just an idea but it could be anything, really) maybe this could actually be a misunderstanding and he did not meant in that way? I would love if it had a lot of angst and a happy ending, but of course is up to you!

YES I live for miscommunication and comfort and this type of angst, this concept is everything!!

warnings: Angst, miscommunication, idiots in love/ friends to lovers, plenty of fluffff

"Hey sugar plum" You smiled, plopping beside Bucky on the couch while he scrolled through Netflix documentaries with a large bowl of m&ms in his lap. "Whatcha watching"

"Haven't decided yet, pick something Jellybean" He handed you the remote and candy bowl, throwing his arm around the back of the couch while you got settled in and flicked through the selection of tv shows.

"Of course" Bucky snorted, shaking his head with amusement as Unsolved Mysteries started to play. You grinned, comfortable nestled against his side while the rest of the team joined one by one; Sam swiped a handful of chocolate from the bowl only to have Bucky swat at his hand like a cat.

"Get your own candy pigeon pants"

"What, y/n gets some but I don't" Sam scoffed in fake offence while Bucky shrugged, throwing one at him.

"Well you're not y/n" Bucky shrugged while you felt your heart flutter. You loved everyone with your whole heart, you really did, but no one else made you feel safe the way Bucky did. Being around him felt like being constantly wrapped in a thick fluffy blanket. Ever since you had joined the team, you struggled to fully be yourself around everyone.

Not that anyone treated you differently; but being surrounded some of the strongest and most brilliant people on the planet gnawed at your insecurities. Steve was a sweetheart, Nat was incredibly skilled and drop dead gorgeous, Tony could charm his way out of just about anything. Everyone had something that made them exceptional and then there was you. You tended to be on the quieter side, fueled with self doubt over if you actually brought anything to the team.

Were you really all that interesting?

What did you really add to the group?

Did anyone even notice your presence when you were around?

Even if they did, did it make a difference?

You'd overthink your way into a quiet corner wondering why you were the way that you were. No one else could see the way you'd worry yourself into a ball of self-doubt, figuring you were just shy and they didn't want to mistakenly push any boundaries.

Then there was Bucky.

Being around Bucky was different.

Something about him was warm and welcoming. He didn't hesitate to pull you out of your hiding spaces around the compound, making sure you joined for team events and game nights. Any insecurities you had always melted away when you were around him because he made you feel special.

Made you feel wanted.

The night went by with everyone sharing their own conspiracy theories over what they think actually happened at the end of each episode while you stayed tucked by Bucky's side. Neither of you had any plans on calling it an early night, while the rest of the team eventually all went to bed as you switched to a new show.

"I'm going to grab more snacks, want anything sugar plum?" You were about to make your way to the kitchen when Bucky placed his hand on your thigh, making you stay seated.

"I'll get it, tell me what you want Jellybean" He shook his head, grabbing the throw blanket and tossing it over your legs so you'd be comfy for the rest of the night while he went to grab the snacks. You didn't have to actually say anything, Bucky knew exactly what you wanted. He came back with half the kitchen raided on a tray along with a beer, pulling you to his side, letting you snuggle against his chest.

You let out a content sigh, unwrapping a chocolate bar while Bucky snuck a bite, the warmth of his body making it difficult for you to stay awake like you'd planned. You eventually fell asleep, waking up to find yourself tucked comfortably in your bed as the sun poured into your room, your body still wrapped in the throw he had covered you with.

You felt your body warm up at the way he was so gentle with you, having carried you to your room without making you stir the slightest. There wasn't anyone else you'd feel so comfortable around.

He was your safe space.

You found yourself hopping out of bed with more energy than usual, deciding to train in the morning instead of your late night workouts, if you were lucky, maybe you'd run into Bucky after his morning run. You made your way to the kitchen, smiling when you heard his voice, along with Sam's, the both of them bickering over something irrelevant as per usual. The closer you got, the more serious their conversation sounded making you wonder if something had come up with a mission

And then you heard your name.

You stopped half way, staying as still as possible part of you wanting to run back to your room while covering your ears, the other part of you curious to know what they were saying. You wanted to move but your feet were glued to the ground, your heart hammering out of your chest.

"How about y/n?"

"Uh y/n..." You could hear the hesitation in his Bucky's as he contemplated his next words, his tone irritated. "She's whatever. It's not like that"

"Meaning?"

"Uh. I don't know, she sort of follows me around everywhere, there's not a day I don't see her but its not like I ask to see her"

You blinked, your stomach starting to churn. Did you follow him everywhere? You did see him everyday but you didn't realize you were following him.

"I mean she's only that way with you, she's definitely not that comfortable with Steve or me" You could hear Sam trying to reason with Bucky but all he did was scoff, your heart wrenching further.

"Yeah. It's overwhelming"

You wanted to run, wishing you had stayed in bed for an extra 5 minutes, your body now hot, not from how safe he made you feel but from embarrassment. Of course he was overwhelmed with your clinginess, he didn't want to have to deal with a burden like you. He had so much of his own issues to deal with and then there was you.

Guilt started to cloud your mind as you thought about all the times you spent time with Bucky, staying by his side while he reassured you or comforted you. How many of those times were actually annoying for him, how many times did he wish you would suck it up and leave him alone instead.

"She's not really friends with anyone else on the team, I'm not sure why she hangs out with me specifically that much" He sounded even more irritated than before; the rest of the conversation a melted into dull buzz, your heartbeat thudding in your skull.

Your eyes stung, hot tears flooding your lash line at his words. Your bottom lip, trembled despite how hard you were biting down on it; your forced your feet to move, slowly backing away from the kitchen until you were far enough to run to your room. You slammed the door shut, instructing FRIDAY to soundproof the walls and turn away anyone that came by before breaking down into sobs.

All of your insecurities were dialed to 100 along with more being added to the list.

How did you not see how annoying you were being. You felt awful, embarrassed, confused.

Why didn't he say anything?

Of course he wouldn't, he probably felt pity for you. A grown adult woman who struggled to open up and still struggled with her personality. An absolute joke.

You let the day go by, too ashamed to face anyone, let alone Bucky. If he felt irritated, there was no doubt the rest of the team knew exactly how annoying he found you. You couldn't bring yourself to see any of them, deciding to skip both lunch and dinner instead while burying under the covers.

****

Bucky frowned when he didn't see you the whole day, his worries growing more when he didn't see you come by for dinner either.

"Where's y/n?"

"I checked on her during lunch but FRIDAY said she'd requested to be alone" Nat looked at Bucky, confused over how he, of all people, didn't know where you were.

"Aren't you both joined at the hip, how do you not know Barnes" Tony wiggled his eyebrow while Bucky rolled his eyes, too worried about you to retort to Tony's comment.

"I saw her once this morning in the training room but not after that. She seemed fine then" Steve had seen you that morning, happy to see you brighter when he had spoken to you, not missing your shy smile when he'd mentioned Bucky's name. "No one else saw her all day?"

Bucky was immediately out of his seat, making his way over to your room to see you, only to have FRIDAY respond instead.

"Ms. Y/l/n has asked that no one disturb her until further notice"

"For fucks sake" He mumbled, knocking at your door one more time.

"I'm sorry Sergeant Barnes, Ms. y/l/n has asked to be left alone"

Bucky was taken aback when he was tuned away; in the few times you had locked your door from everyone else he'd always been exempt from that list. Why didn't you want to see him either? He reluctantly made his way back, his mind now racing over what could have possibly happened from the night before to now.

****

You had managed to avoid Bucky the next few days, purposefully staying away from the areas you knew he'd be around and staying in your room for most of the day. Whenever he tried to speak to you, you'd find a way to escape the conversation, his words reeling in your mind, reminding you he found you annoying. Overwhelming. Clingy.

You couldn't understand why he was going out of his way to try and talk to you when you were trying so hard to stay away, your heart in pain not being able to spend time with the person you felt the safest with. Your mind made it impossible to get a wink of sleep; you made your way down to the kitchen for a late night snack instead. You grabbed a bowl of popcorn, turning the TV on to your favorite comfort shows needing a temporary distraction.

"Jellybean?"

Bucky made his way through the living room after a late night workout, his heart jumping when his eyes landed on you. He was by your side in an instant, not noticing the way you froze when he sat beside you.

"Hi James"

Bucky blinked, his name sounding foreign on your tongue.

He didn't like it.

Not one bit.

Since when was he James.

"Uh, is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine" You forced a smile, scooting over so you weren't sitting too close to him, your mind racing trying to find a way out of the conversation. Bucky could sense your discomfort but he had no idea why, his heart beating harder against his chest when he noticed your eyes shift, as if you were looking for a way to escape.

"Are-are you sure?"

"Yup!"

"Doll" He noticed the way your eyes continued to flick around the room, refusing to meet his. "Somethings bothering you"

"What makes you say that"

"I-you called me by my name-you never do that"

"What else should I call you" You avoided his gaze, fidgeting with a lose string on a cushion while Bucky felt his stomach drop.

Were you upset with him?

"You always call me sugar plum. Only you do" He shrugged sadly, his bottom lip jutting out into a pout. "You don't call me James"

"Oh" Was all you could muster, feeling your throat close up, hot tears threatening to spill from your lash line. You tried to turn away from him only to have him gently cup your cheek, tilting your chin to face him. His heart broke seeing your glassy eyes while you chewed your lip to keep from crying.

"Please tell me what's wrong, did I do something? Did I say anything?"

"No" You whispered, swallowing thickly, pulling away from him only to have him take your hands in his to keep you from running away.

"C'mon y/n, please?"

"I-I don't mean to follow you around and be so clingy. I'm just trying to give you some space Bucky" You tried to keep your voice steady, hanging your head so he wouldn't see the tears run down your cheeks. Bucky let go of your hands to cup your cheeks again, his thumbs wiping away your tears.

"Jellybean, what are you-

"I heard you talking to Sam" You spat, now annoyed that he was here trying to talk to you when he was the one who felt you followed him around. "I heard you tell him I'm always around you. That you don't even ask to see me but I'm there. I didn't mean to be so overbearing. I felt safe with you so I was closest to you, I didn't realize you felt like I was following you".

"Sweetheart, it's not overwhelming for the reasons you think"

"Then what else could it be Bucky? You could have told me you needed some space, I would've understood. I wouldn't have spend so much time hanging out with you-

"No! I like when you're around me Jellybean" Bucky almost sounded offended you'd suggest such a thing while you shook your head, sniffling.

"You don't have to lie to me-

"Y/n, no. I promise doll, this is just a misunderstanding, that's not that I meant when I was talking to Sam"

"Then what did you mean?" You whispered, confused over what else he could have possibly meant. Bucky felt butterflies in his chest, not fully thinking this through. Should he tell you what the conversation was about? Could it be worse than you thinking he didn't even like you when the truth was the complete opposite?

"I don't want to ruin our friendship if I tell you" Bucky suddenly looked scared, his eyes wide like a lost puppy, vulnerable and afraid. He sucked in a breath before speaking, inching a little closer to you. "Sam was asking about if I'm seeing anyone. He thinks I need to put myself out there"

Oh.

A sudden pang of jealousy hit your chest, the flinch in your face not missed by Bucky.

"He was suggesting..." He bit his lip, chewing it nervously before continuing. "He asked if there was anything between us. He thought maybe you liked me because we're always together" Bucky continued to look at you like a kicked puppy, his own emotions now all over the place. "I didn't think you did. At least not in that way but he kept saying there was something between us"

"It didn't sound like you liked me very much" You shrugged while Bucky frantically shook his head, mentally scolding himself. "I thought you found me too clingy"

"Never. You're never too clingy. M'so so sorry doll, I didn't mean for it to come out that way, you're the only person who I can spend the whole day with, I'm not comfortable around others like I am with you. I love when you come around looking for me. I guess a part of me was upset because Sam wasn't the first to ask me why we weren't together and ask if we were more than friends. I didn't think you'd like me and it's overwhelming for me because I feel so much and...well"

"and?" Bucky blushed, struggling to get the next words out while you anxiously waited for him to continue.

"and I really like you" He whispered, squeezing your hand in his while you shifted closer, letting him pull you onto his lap. His arms circled around your waist, holding you close to him both your hearts racing, his nose bumping against yours.

"You like me?" You felt your cheeks heat up when he nodded, his blue eyes shyly peeking up at you through his lashes.

"I like you jellybean. A lot"

"Even more than m&m's?" You felt him hug you together, your lips brushing against his.

"More than m&m's" He closed the gap between you both, pressing his lips to yours, kissing you sweetly as you gently carded your fingers through his hair. He kissed you until you both needed air, a dopey smile on his face while you snuggled into his chest.

"Does that mean I'm your sugar plum again?" He whispered hopefully making you giggle, kissing him deeply again.

"Always, my sugar plum"

"My jellybean"

****

"Fucking finally" Tony mumbled, his hair ruffled, stifling a yawn as he walked through the living room, grinning at you and Bucky sleeping on the couch.

"I told him" Steve rolled his eyes, snapping a picture of you both cuddled on the couch while Sam snorted, nodding in approval. "Took them long enough"

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futurecorps3 · 1 year ago

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can i request a jj x reader where she keeps saying she's sick but jj doesnt believe it and thinks it's just an excuse to not go to the midsummers or whatever u choose, but then when they both go, she passes out and jj gets worried and protective. thank uuu smm!!

𝐑𝐮𝐬𝐞

Masterlist<3

Summary: JJ thinks you're lying Pairing: JJ Maybank x kook!reader Warnings: JJ kind of being an ass lmao, sickness, mentions of headaches, reader faints and I think that's it, lmk if I missed any! Word Count: 2.6K Requested: Yes

A/N: Took me a while to figure this one out cause I think J wouldn't be like that in the first place but let's try!! Hope u like, nonnie<3

Everything sucked. There was no way a human could have this bad luck, and Y/N had begun to think the universe had it against her at this point. She had spent almost a month finding the perfect dress and headpiece for Midsummers' night, two months in convincing her parents to let her bring JJ as her plus one and a solid three weeks in convincing JJ.

Only for a mind bending migraine to come storming its way right in the morning. She tried ignoring it for a while, taking some pain-killers to try to ease the pain, but they did absolutely nothing. Her parents had left early to help the Camerons set everything up (sitting around and ordering people) and the party started around five, so she opted for sleeping to see if the headache would subside.

It didn't; she realized right when JJ's booming voice rang through her ears, waking her up. "Figured I'd come down here so we could get ready together!" Her boyfriend said with a grin, holding the tuxedo she had bought for him in his arms. She incorporated from her bed. Standing up with a little dizziness, she couldn't let slide and kissed him as a greeting.

"For an event, it took me days to convince you to go to, you truly are excited." Y/N smiled, feeling a little light-headed. "Did you shower?" She asked as she buried her head in his chest as JJ's arms wrapped around her waist "'Course mamma, just for you... but by the looks of it you haven't" he smiled as his girlfriend hit his chest playfully.

"You're right though, be right back". Y/N stepped in her bathroom as she heard JJ play some music on her speaker. Hopefully, the shower would help the pain she could no longer stand. She tried massaging her scalp and breathe in the scents of her soaps, relax in the water and whatnot but it didn’t help.

She felt as if someone was pushing her eyeballs into the inside her skull while pounding the sides of her head with a hammer, the worst migraine she ever had. Now, this whole thing was important for both Y/N and JJ, as it was the first time they’d be attending an event of this nature together… but she wasn’t sure the headache would allow her.

The thought made her sulk a little, but in the end, the migraine was stronger. She stepped out of the shower wrapped in a towel as well as her hair, watching JJ play around with her necklaces and rings. “J, I-I don’t think we can go” she muttered, disappointment clear in her shaking voice when she noticed how his face fell.

“What do you mean?” he sounded almost shocked. “My head’s been hurting like a motherfucker since I woke up, I-I tried taking some painkillers but they worked for shit and-“ “Y/N you ain’t gotta lie… just say you don’t wanna go with me”.

She couldn’t bear thinking JJ thought it had to do with him “Baby no, I-I’m serious! We could stay in and cuddle if you want, maybe watch Top Gun or-“ then he laughed. “Stop pretending”

“What?” “I know you don’t want me to meet all your kook friends and I know you're kind of ashamed of dating me even though you say you aren’t and-“ “What are you talking about!?”

This was a very JJ thing to think. And no, he wasn’t being manipulative. Y/N knew he meant every word he was saying. And that’s what hurt the most. He could get insecure and honestly, she couldn’t blame him. He grew up in a place that condemned him for the blood running through his veins, hearing things like “he’s just like his old man” or “a Maybank after all” when he fucked up.

Yes, he was reckless and stupid, but he was also kind and a good man. Y/N knew he had some reservations coming into this entire relationship with her because being friends differed completely from being boyfriend and girlfriend. The judgments they were to face were clear, but she always reassured him that as long as they were together they’d be okay.

She could see why he’d think that way. “It’s not like that, baby-“ “Except it is” he said, running his hands through his hair and pacing around the room. “Let’s go then” she gave in. Physical pain hurt way more than knowing JJ thought she was embarrassed to be dating him. She could handle it.

“Oh, so suddenly your headache goes away?” He snapped, throwing air quotes in the word headache which made Y/N, who was already getting her hair done, give him a look of “drop it” and he did, kissing her in the cheek before changing into his suit.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

When they got there, Y/N’s headache was nowhere near better, but she tried paying no mind to it; what mattered was she was walking down to the party with JJ holding her hand. She squeezed his fingers gently as they approached her parents; him squeezing her's back.

“Hi sweetie!” My mom smiles, hugging her tightly with the sweetest grin and then moves to hug her boyfriend. “JJ, we’re so glad you could make it! Go ahead to our table. It’s four over there and I made sure to seat you with Sarah and Kie”. The woman was always kind to J, making sure he felt welcomed in their lives.

Who was really hard to convince was her dad, always wary of the boys Y/N brings home. Now, him being a pogue well… that stir shit up to say the least. “Thank you” the boy answered her mom, then turning to her dad. “Hello, sir”. Her dad gave JJ a stern look and held out his hand “Hello JJ”. And that was it for him.

As they were walking to their table, Y/N realized her boyfriend’s face fell a little at the interaction with her dad. “Hey hey, it’s okay… you know how he gets,” she quickly assured and he directed those sad blue eyes to her “I just don’t get why he doesn’t like me” he sighed, a sad chuckle leaving his lips.

“You don’t usually care what people think of you, J. Why do yo-“ “I care because he’s your dad! I don’t care if Pope’s parents or- or Kie’s don’t like me, I couldn’t give less of a fuck but not with you. He’s your dad and as much as we know he’s unfair with me for being a pogue, I-I would like him to like me”

Y/N’s heart broke at his words, making her feet stop next to the dancefloor, her headache pulsating at the strong wave of emotions. “We can’t make him like you but when we get married…” JJ laughed at that, placing big hands around her waist and smiling “When we get married, he’ll realize I couldn’t wish for a better person to be with me forever. Because you love me, and I love you.” She grinned, pecking his nose to then resume their way to their seats.

When a waiter approached them and Y/N ordered water instead of some champagne, JJ looked at her funny. "Water? Who are you? Kie?" He joked, the aforementioned throwing a small napkin to his head "At least I'm not going to die of some weird liver disease like you J!" Kiara countered, giggling slightly. "I told you I'm not feeling well" Y/N mumbled, and before he could say anything, she joined Sarah and Kie's conversation.

As the conversations flowed and laughter filled the air, Y/N valiantly pushed through the discomfort, not wanting her condition to dampen the joyous occasion. Engaging in lighthearted banter with her friends, she managed to mask the underlying pain she felt. Yet, behind her radiant smile, an unrelenting throbbing persisted, casting a shadow on her otherwise vibrant spirit.

As Y/N's voice intertwined with the playful chatter, a sudden surge of dizziness overwhelmed her senses. Her head felt heavy, as if wrapped in a dense fog, and her vision blurred around the edges. The familiar pain that had been nagging her intensified, clawing at her temples.

She desperately clung to the facade of normalcy, but her body betrayed her resilience. Y/N's grip on the conversation faltered, her words becoming muddled as her mind struggled to keep pace. Her friends noticed the change in her demeanor, a fleeting flicker of concern crossing their faces. "You 'kay Y/N/N?" John B asked.

In that moment, Y/N's world seemed to spin out of control. Sensations of disorientation and weakness cascaded through her body, leaving her feeling adrift and vulnerable. The sounds of her friends' voices morphed into a distant echo, as if they were calling to her from a great distance.

The once vibrant party faded into the background, overshadowed by the overwhelming intensity of Y/N's migraine. Her focus narrowed to a single point of struggle, her every instinct urging her to find solace and relief from the torment that gripped her. "Baby?" She heard JJ mumble as her consciousness teetered on the precipice. Y/N's body succumbed to the overpowering sensations, causing her to lose consciousness.

A profound stillness enveloped Y/N as she drifted away, suspended in a momentary limbo between wakefulness and oblivion. Time became a fleeting concept, and the outside world ceased to exist for those brief moments.

In that suspended state, Y/N's body rested, unaware of the commotion that unfolded around her. JJ held her full weight in his arms, shock written all over his features. "Y/N! Baby, wake up!" he hopelessly pleads, the attention of the nearby tables focusing entirely on him. Kiara rushed over to her as well as Sarah and John, all in a frenzy, knowing nothing of what was going on.

"John, go get the twinkie! Ambulances will take a while to come to this side of the island." JJ hurried, feeling everyone's gaze on him but caring only for the peaceful look on his girlfriend's face. John B nodded and left quickly to get the van as close as he could. Then, guilt came rushing through J's veins like injected adrenaline; this was hois fault.

Y/N had tried to tell him she wasn't feeling okay, but he was too petty and way more inside his head when she was just being honest. He felt a sting in his eyes and as soon as he blinked; the tears stained Y/N's dress. "I'm so sorry baby" he whispered, Sarah and Kie looking puzzled at him asking for forgiveness at a time like this.

"JJ, this is not your fault" the blonde said, rubbing his back reassuringly but before she could continue, he began shaking his head "Y-You don't understand, she told me her head was hurting but-but I was stupid and thought she didn't wanna be seen with me and-" a sob interrupted his sentence, making Kie hug him tightly. "It's still not your fault".

He cried for a few more seconds, holding Y/N close so he could feel her still steady heartbeat against his ear until John B came rolling down in the twinkie. JJ noticed Y/N's dad approaching when he lifted up his girlfriend, but he needed to get her to the hospital quick. "I'll get her to the hospital sir, meet you there," He said in a panic, his friends and him getting in the van and speeding off to the emergency room.

He felt his heart sink as John drove and he could notice Y/N's breath quicken, then falter. JJ rarely felt guilt, but this was the way the universe was punishing him, he figured. "Hurry" he mumbled, knowing his best friend was doing his best not to crash while getting his girl to the hospital as soon as he could.

Eventually they got there. Everything from when the car stopped to him sitting next to her bed was a blur for JJ; he had a vague memory of the doctors saying she passed out from the migraine and dehydration, nothing fatal but if JJ hadn't been there to catch her when she blacked out it could've caused a concussion.

The pogues stayed there against the professional's advice, saying they should go home and sleep, that Y/N would be awake by morning and they would be able to talk to her then. They refused. Kie and Pope (who got there as soon as he heard the news) cuddled on a couch. Sarah and John did the same as JJ just sat next to Y/N's bed, holding her hand.

The doctors instructed her boyfriend to give her water as soon as she woke up and notify a nurse that would help her immediately, but in the meantime, all they could do was wait. Her parents walked in to find a room of teenagers sleeping at around eleven. Her mom woke JJ up so he could fill them in.

"Mrs. Y/L/N... hi" he sleepily mumbled, rearranging the wild mess his hair was by brushing it back to later rub the sleep out of her face. Her father was standing behind her with an angry expression, and before Y/N's mother could speak, he approached JJ menacingly. "You explain to me right this second why you didn't ask me what was to be done as soon as she passed out! We were so-" the man whisper yelled so the others wouldn't wake up.

"I'm sorry sir, and with all due respect, I could not care less about what you thought would be appropriate other than bringing her to the hospital. I couldn't care less about how you both were feeling; she needed help, and she needed it right that second. I'm sorry if I crossed any boundaries but, as you would be able to tell if you gave me a chance, I have no limit when it comes to your daughter's well being" JJ declared, not once getting his eyes off Y/N's dad.

And he was telling the truth, too. He would go to the ends of earth for her and if her being safe meant her dad would hate him more, it was okay for him. Suddenly, Y/N's mother engulfed him in a tight hug. "She couldn't be with someone better than you. We're just glad she's safe and to know our girl is with someone who will look after her. Thank you, JJ" she smiled.

He smiled wide, returning the hug. "No problem, ma'am. The doc said she'd be just fine. Apparently she had a migraine and hadn't drunk enough water... we're all just waiting for her to wake up". When the blonde raised his eyes to the man behind her, there was something different. Respect, maybe. He didn't really care in this moment.

Her parents stayed in some chairs outside, and, at around midnight, Y/N woke up. JJ was the first one to notice when her hand moved to wrap around his finger while he mindlessly scrolled through twitter. He dropped his phone, almost falling to the ground when he tossed it somewhere as he turned to look at Y/N. "Hi, hi baby" He cooed, pretty y/e/c staring at him just like he needed "Mmm, my hero", Y/N's voice was hoarse.

JJ giggled, handing her a bottle of water and stroking her cheek softly. "I'm sorry baby, I-I should've listened to you when you tried to tell me" He sighed the apologies he repeated like a prayer hours ago "S'okay J" "It's not. Shouldn't have let my mind get in the way. I'm glad you're okay" "Yeah me too... I'm also glad to see you, baby... Dreamt about you while I was out" "As you should," he jokingly said, both of them laughing and sharing a sweet kiss.

The story after that is short. Y/N recovered, JJ was finally allowed at family dinner (and exchanged pleasant conversations with his soon to be father-in-law as he called him). ♡

˚ · • . ° .

The ending feels rushed, I'm sorry ahhhh. Tysm for reading! Hope you enjoyed

Remember, the best way to support writer’s works on here is by REBLOGGING WITH TAGS. I’d very much appreciate it if you did!

Thanks again, stranger. Hope you have a nice day<3

NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO REPOST AS THEIR OWN/TRANSLATE/OR COPY MY WORK IN ANY PLATFORM OR SPACE WITHOUT MY EXPLICIT CONSENT.

#jj maybank fanfiction #jj maybank angst #jj maybank fluff #jj maybank #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank smut #jj smut #jj x reader #jj x you #jj mayback x reader #jj maybank x routledge!reader #jj x reader x rafe #obx imagine #obx x reader #obx #obx fanfiction #obx fluff #obx angst

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wufflesvetinari · 1 month ago

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ok i'm going to write a ted lasso episode. whumpy but in the way canon can be whumpy. ready? here we go

it's early season 4. ted is back, with henry flying in soon to stay in richmond for a year. ted's set up his bedroom, stocked the apartment with Nerds (henry's favorite candy and a bit harder to find in the uk), even bought a goshdarn ps5. this is going to be great!

meanwhile, jamie has an extremely difficult session with dr. sharon where he ends up unexpectedly unpacking amsterdam for the first time. she did NOT know this was coming when he started telling her the plot of major motion picture the fault in our stars and she did NOT lead him into it as gracefully as she would have liked. you can tell that she's trying to end the session in a less raw place but it is NOT working because she lets him sob about stroopwafel for too long (in an attempt to end on positive memories with his mum) before realizing it's not about the fucking stroopwafel

when the hour is up he bolts out of there despite her best efforts. she drops her rock-solid professional neutrality, presses her forehead into her hands, and says "maybe fucked that one"

but you know what? jamie is handling it. he wakes up the next day, cleans all the snotty tissues off his bed, and comes up with a PLAN.

see, the thing is, he was WAY more stable when he was a prick. and he's practiced so hard NOT being a prick, so...it's overtraining, innit? he forgot to rest his emotion muscles so now he's raw everywhere and cries too much in therapy and wants to fucking scream all the time. so the obvious solution is to take a rest day from having emotions. easy!

and you know what makes it super easy to not have emotions? being a massive prick! it's fine. it's for his health!

MEANWHILE, ted wakes up to news that a storm's grounded henry's flight on a layover. and that something went wonky with his ticket so the airline couldn't immediately find his reservation/rebook him, which was super scary for henry bc the flight didn't have someone attending him the way they were supposed to. and as much as he wants to be with his dad it's already stressful to be leaving the US for a year

so everything's gone wrong, and he called ted like four times but ted slept through it. so by the time they connect henry's super stressed and kind of. yells at his dad for the first time.

so that's a bad start to the day! ted is so disoriented he brings the shopping bag of Nerds to work instead of his lunch

jamie shows up to the locker room having pasted his s1 body language onto his s3 self. he had meant to keep to himself today, but unfortunately his prick persona is an ENTIRE persona, and it doesn't super feel like a choice when he starts making snide comments and sneering at everyone. it feels a bit like one of those horror movies where you can't take the creepy devil mask off, EXCEPT IT DOESN'T, because feelings are absolutely not happening right now, which is! great! fine!

everyone is disturbed (except for ted who's caught in phone tree purgatory with british airways, sorting nerds by color on his desk). jamie insults colin's new threads, implies isaac can't handle the captaincy, turns down a high five from dani with a roll of his eyes, says hi to sam.......actually, he talks to sam completely normally. everyone makes vigorous questioning gestures at sam behind jamie's back. sam shrugs

it gets worse on the field, where the mood is already tense and darkens further when jamie refuses to help richard up after a tackle. beard and nate accuse roy of having given jamie the prick signal by accident somehow. roy denies it but starts second-guessing himself under scrutiny, trying to dissect whether jamie had interpreted the extra paprika he'd put in the curry when meal-prepping for jamie this week as a fucking. secret signal or something.

meanwhile ted is offering his life to british airways. indentured servitude. anything. he would take back 1776 on behalf of his people if he could. he is constantly on the verge of a panic attack and that REALLY bothers him, because it feels like all his progress is going up in smoke over henry hanging up on him

higgins finds him alone in his office gently thumping his head against the desk. "you know, you're such a great dad," ted tells him. "you've built a beautiful family. there's no...gnarly intergenerational emotional knots, no conflict in the House of Higgins. how do you do it?"

higgins blinks at him. "ted, dana knocked terry's tooth out last month. lindsay is a priest."

"well hey now, that's not inherently--"

"no, but it does suggest the presence of some interesting intergenerational emotional knots."

ted blinks up at him. higgins smiles; takes a seat. he says, "fathers and sons."

back outside, roy's starting to lose it. he's becoming honestly scared for jamie, but every time he tries to start a conversation jamie fucking...twists it into a fight, and roy fucking FALLS FOR IT like an IDIOT even though he knows better. because he's gotten out of practice dealing with Prick Jamie and also because jamie knows all of his weak spots now. it's freaking him the fuck out

and jamie is also starting to scream in his own head a little bit. like yeah he'd actively decided on Rest Day, but now he isn't sure how to stop doing Rest Day, and everybody is looking at him weird and that makes it worse, doesn't it, because his stupid lizard brain says he's under attack.

the prick persona is protective, so he keeps on pricking. ignores dr. sharon's phone call. ignores keeley's suspiciously-timed text about getting mimosas. ignores nate trying to give him a helpful-mean speech on the sidelines. ignores--well, no, he slaps sam on the back like usual.

can't be a dick to sam. it's sam, like.

roy mimes furious questions at sam, who's accepted this day for what it is and shrugs harder

ted's out on the sidelines by now, but he's still on the phone. he finally gets henry's ticket sorted, and calls him back in the airport. henry's in tears apologizing for yelling, but ted is just happy he's okay!! and he's going to be with him in london soon!! and...maybe ted didn't handle that perfectly, but it doesn't have to be some grand referendum on ted's parenting ability or his mental health. it's just a missed flight. slow progress is still progress. he's ok. they're both ok

practice ends. jamie slinks back into the locker room with everyone else. he changes into his street clothes lazily, dismissing any attempt to talk to him (ignores jan, ignores zoreaux, ignores roy, says "bye sam" - roy yells "fuck!" around the corner)

the locker room's almost empty. ted calls, "jamie, could you just stop by my office for one sec?"

jamie braces himself. ted fucking lasso is the last thing he needs. ted's the final boss of Rest Day. ted's going to say something that makes him feel fucking terrible about his behavior, and he's not even going to be able to apologize because he's fucking stuck like this, isn't he? like a car stuck in reverse. all he can do is go further back into prickdom: bluster his way through until ted gets fed up and sends him home.

he slams the door closed behind him. "so you got any pearls of wisdom for me, coach? some yoda shit? because i'm getting pretty tired of you pretending to be my fucking dad when we both know--"

"just wanted to give you these," ted says calmly, tossing him a ziploc bag. it's full of yellow Nerds. several little boxes' worth.

"what" jamie says

"i know you only like the yellow ones. needed something to do with my hands, so i sorted some out for you. we won't tell roy, ok? a little extra sugar never killed nobody. except i guess for diabetics, but, well--"

jamie stares at his bag of nerds. he stares harder. he bursts into tears and sinks onto the office floor.

after a beat, ted sits down there with him, waiting for him to get the words together--he babbles something about dr. sharon, and how bad today's been, and about how he really didn't mean to be awful and he thought he was over all this already--both over amsterdam and over treating his friends like this (ted has no idea what "amsterdam" means here but he nods sympathetically)

and he tells jamie about henry, and about how badly he panicked today, and about how progress isn't linear. and it's nice. and jamie gets a hug and puts himself together well enough to run out and catch up with the team for drinks

the rest of the coaches creep back into the office.

"how the fuck did you do that?" roy demands. he is texting jamie as he speaks. he will make him a big, bespoke breakfast tomorrow after their run and glower about it. he will fail to put any of these feelings into words. "how did you--fucking--manually override prick mode?"

nate's eyes are a little shiny for reasons that are NOT projection. "yeah, ted. i mean, things haven't always been smooth with you and jamie, but it's like you've...learned, over time, just what to say. i really do admire that about you."

"oh, well," ted says from the floor. he nods absently to himself, pushing his tongue around the inside of his cheek.

beard leans back in his chair. "you had no idea any of this was happening. you have no clue what we're talking about"

"nope,” ted says. "no, sir, i do not. just thought the kid would like some nerds"

"FUCK" roy says

#this should just be a fic but i don't have the willpower #ted lasso #jamie tartt #sam obisanya #roy kent

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debonairprincesposts · 7 months ago

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Absolutely loved your Lucifer x Son reader!! Can we get a part 2? Im eager to see how Charlie and the gang may react!

Hello Anon! Here’s my take on what would’ve happened in the aftermath. As requested. Wasn’t really planning on making more content relating to this Au, but here we are! This is the last one, I hope. The gang haven’t met (Name) so they won’t be included in this.

Enjoy (。•̀ᴗ-)✧

Lucifer was basically contemplating every bad decision he's ever made in his life as he stares at the face of his unconscious son.

He barely managed to save (Name)’s wing by reattaching it, but it'll take a while before it's usable again.

Coat and hat off, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, his hair disheveled from running his fingers through it in his moment of stress.

Eyes rimmed red from crying, cheeks stained with tears as he rubbed his eyes to get rid of the heavy feeling you usually get from crying so much.

He practically started having a mental breakdown the moment he knew that (Name)’s life wasn’t in any immediate danger. It wasn’t until a few minutes ago that he finally calmed down.

Sitting on a chair next to his son's bed, Lucifer sighs as he puts his face in his hands. He hasn't told Charlie yet. He doesn't really know how he should go about explaining what happened at the palace without freaking her out.

Wounds inflicted by angelic steel take longer to heal. He doesn’t know how long it would take for (Name) to wake up. It’s been about 3 hours since the attack, and he’s been restless ever since.

Still no sign of movement from (Name) as he lays motionless on his bed. The only way Lucifer could tell that he’s even still alive is the slow rise and fall of his chest.

Running his fingers through his hair as he stood up from his chair, reaching for his phone in his pocket, he hesitated to call Charlie. He didn’t know how to disclose the situation to her. There’s no easy way of doing this. I mean- how do you go about telling your child that her brother could possibly end up in a coma after being attacked by bloodthirsty psycho angels! That’s ridiculous! Everything about this is ridiculous! He’s ridiculous! He’s literally the King of Hell! He should’ve done more to ensure the protection of his son! If he just had the time to construct a barrier around his home then maybe this wouldn’t have happened in the first place. If he hadn’t been in a hurry to go save Charlie, he would’ve given it more thought. The fact that (Name) would be left defenseless all by himself with no one to help him. It’s basically a miracle that he even managed to survive all by himself. What with his inexperience in life or death fights. What kind of father would he be if he can’t even protect his children from harm! An incompetent one, he thinks.

His hands shake as he grips his phone. Taking a deep breath, he presses on Charlie’s contact and hopes that everything goes well.

“Dad! Thank goodness you’re okay! I’ve been trying to call you ever since you left in a hurry earlier- Is everything alright?” Just hearing Charlie’s voice over the phone makes him want to cry again.

He swallows the lump in his throat, “I-I’m okay, sweetie! It’s just- uhh,” just say it dammit! That’s her brother! She needs to know! “It’s (Name). He- he’s not doing good at the moment.” He cringes at his attempt.

“What?! Is he okay?! What happened?”

“He-,” his throat felt dry as he swallowed, “the palace was attacked.”

“WHAT?! Is (Name) okay?!” Her panicked voice could be heard over the phone. He tried to breathe properly to not breakout into another panic attack. “Dad?! Why aren’t you saying anything?!! You’re scaring me!”

“He’s-,” he winces at the break in his voice before clearing his throat, “He’s okay now! I managed to get here on time before he-,” his voice cracked again as tears wells up in his eyes.

The other side of the line goes silent for a bit. Charlie most definitely heard his pathetic attempt at trying to compose himself.

He clears his throat again, “His wounds are healing. But I don’t know when he’ll wake up.” He settled with. His voice raspy from crying.

On the other side of the line, Vaggie was standing next to Charlie, comforting her as she processes the information she just received. It was just them two in the lobby. Everybody else was either out or resting in their new rooms.

“Do you need me to come over, Dad?” Charlie asks.

“No need for that, apple pie- I’ll stay here until he recovers. You need to stay at your hotel. I can handle it. Promise.”

“Okay,” she swallows, forcing back her tears, “Call me if you need to. Okay, Dad?”

“Of course. Goodbye, sweetie.”

“Bye-,” he hangs up.

“Everything okay, babe?” Asks Vaggie, “You seem pretty worried.”

“Worried? Me? Pshh- no! Not at all! I mean- it’s not like the angels attacked my Dad’s castle and put my brother in a coma!-,” Charlie rambles.

“What?!” Vaggie yells in shock, “Is he okay?”

“Dad said that he’s okay. (Name)’s just resting-,” Charlie starts pulling at her hair. “Why would they attack him! He didn’t have anything to do with any of this!”

Vaggie doesn’t say anything. She just takes Charlie by the hand and takes her to their room as Charlie continues to worry about her brother. Which is valid cuz like- (Name)’s her brother-

When they reach their room, Vaggie takes Charlie by the hand and leads to bed.

“I’m sure he’ll be okay. He’s got your father’s blood flowing through his veins, no? He’ll wake up before you know it- Trust me.”

Charlie sniffles, “You really think so?”

Vaggie nods, “I know so. Now- why don’t we rest and cuddle. We’ve had a long day. I think we deserve some rest, don’t you think?”

Vaggie then helps Charlie change into pajamas as they both lay in each other’s arms in bed.

“Feeling better?” Vaggie asks.

Charlie nods, “I just hope he wakes up soon.” As they both continue cuddling in bed.

Imma be honest y’all. This isn’t my best work. Didn’t come out as well as I’d hoped. Kinda lost motivation half way through. Not sure if you can tell. But anyway! Here’s how I thought it would go. Hope y’all like it! Stay healthy and keep hydrated! ∠(ᐛ 」��)

Bye babes!

-DebonairPrince

Help support your favorite author by buying them a ko-fi!

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pit-and-the-pen · 5 months ago

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I'll Crawl Home to Her- Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Think of this chapter as an apology for the last chapter <3 I split this into two parts so hopefully, I don’t have as long between them! (also girly finally has a name, let's just pretend I've been using it the whole time...)

Warnings: Mentions of not eating and weight loss, grief (Rhys is not doing well without Feyre),

WC: 12k

After Rhys and I got back to the house, things seemed better. Madja had already arrived, diligently working on Cassian’s shredded wings. She had knocked him out with a hefty dose of sleeping tonic, hopefully enough to keep out the worst of the pain while she healed what she could.

Azriel had been moved to his room, and once Madja confirmed Cassian would be able to fly again, I didn’t leave his side. It felt strange. To not have his head in my lap without his voice or seeing his hazel eyes. No snarky comments. He stayed asleep as his body cleared out what little poison had found its way into his blood, the wound in his chest already looking better. I protested any time someone suggested that I move from my spot. So Rhys and Mor brought me food, leaving on the nightstand without a word.

A small part of me felt guilty for not being there for Rhys. For not sitting by Cassian while his wings healed. The mating bond was so new that I wasn’t surprised by his small outbursts or hard stares. I didn’t blame him. I tried not to let my mind drift to what I would have done to the King of Hybern, to Tamlin and Lucien, if Azriel didn’t make it. Even then, it wasn’t the same. Azriel wasn’t my mate. But staring at his sleeping face, I accepted that whatever I did feel for him had long passed the childish crush I harbored for so long.

It was days before he even twitched, before any semblance of movement came from the figure in the bed. I couldn’t move. Couldn’t take my eyes off of him for a single second. The last time he ended up with an arrow in his chest. And gods help me if he doesn't wake up. No. He’s going to wake up.

As if the mother herself heard my words. There was a faint twitch in his wings. Then before I knew it he shot upright in his bed. Chest heaving as his head whipped around. My hands were instantly wrapped around his. “Az. Az.” He shoved me off, eyes wild. I tried to get my feet under me but I wasn’t expecting the sudden push and I found myself on my back on the ground, a harsh cry falling from my lips at the contact. The sound of Azriel’s labored breathing filling the space. I went to pull myself up before shadows started to fly around the room. In perfect time with his rapid breaths. I sat there, utterly unable to think of anything to do besides look. My body acted before my mind caught up with it. I reached out a shaky hand for one of the black tendrils. Sliding my fingers over it and the flurry of movement stopped. “Azriel?” I spoke, voice shaky.

“Melody.” He all but whispered back. Voice caressing my name. The shadows retreated back to Azriel. Staying close by his side. I could finally see him, see those hazel eyes staring back at me. I pushed myself off the ground and stayed still only long enough for him to see that it really was me. Then I launched myself against his chest. My arms wound around his neck, pulling him into a tight hug. I didn’t think as I pressed a kiss to the top of his head. But his arms wound around my waist instead of pulling away.

“You’re safe. It’s okay. You’re home.” I muttered into his chestnut curls. Rocking back and forth on my heels as I held him. Eventually I untangled myself from him. His hands stayed on the small of my back. Holding me close to him still.

“How do you feel?” I worked up the courage to ask him.

“Did that really happen? It wasn’t just a bad dream?”

“I’m so sorry-”

“You’re sorry? Melody. I almost got us all killed. If I had known Jurian was going to have an ash arrow…”

“Absolutely not. You’re not blaming yourself for any of that. Not when I almost lost you.” My voice broke and the familiar sting in my jaw had me turning away from him. “Cauldron boil me. I thought you were going to die. So you don’t get to sit here and blame yourself for not knowing everything that could happen in the world. Tamlin fucked us over. End of story.” I fought the tremble in my voice. Fought the rising panic at the twisted slideshow of him half conscious in my arms.

“Hey. Look at me. Princess, I’m right here.” He raised a tentative hand to tap at my cheek. I might have been imagining things but I swore a single tear rolled down his cheek. I let his words sink in. He’s here. He’s alive. Isn’t that exactly what I had been praying for all week. For him to wake up and be okay. So then why the hell was I crying.

“I’m sorry. You’re the one that's injured and I’m crying.”

“No need to cry over me, sweet girl. Save your tears for someone important.”

“Azriel” My tone is deathly serious. “Do not think for a second that you aren’-”

A knock on the door interrupted my words. Making me jump out of his hold. I took a large step back before Cassian’s head peaked around the frame of the door.

“Welcome back to the world of the living. Az.” Cassian walked into the room and I held back a gasp. I haven't seen much of Cassian outside of those first few hours. The hours where Madja was frantically trying to piece his wings back together. But I think I overestimated just how well Madja could heal, or underestimated how hard wings would be to heal. Something. Because I was not expecting to see every single inch of Cassian's wings covered in bandages. He seemed to trace both of our eyes. He tried to hide the wince as he gave them a little flap.

“Looks worse than it feels.” He gritted out.

“I doubt that.” Azriel mutters. I go to elbow him before I stop myself. My eyes instead landed on the angry red mark right over his heart. Perfectly poised. I feel my breathing speed up as I really see it for the first time in a week.

“Should you even be walking around?” Azriel chuckles, but concern laces his every word. Cassian laughs before the sound cuts off with a grunt.

“Rhys told us you were awake. So I wanted to see you with my own eyes. It’s right back to bed rest after this.”

Azriel makes a noise in agreement.

“Cassian?” Azriel starts. “I’m glad you’re still here.” His voice sounded thick. A slight wobble that makes my chest pang.

“I’m glad you’re still here too. Although we both know it’ll take more than that to get us both.”

A sob bubbled through my lips. I turned my face away as the two Illyrian warriors trained their eyes on me. I held up my hand, signaling them to give me a minute.

“How about.” I took a deep breath. “We don’t go around trying to tempt fate right now. Just be happy you both are here. End of sentence.”

“Princess.”

“No, I know. I’m happy you’re feeling a little better Cassian. Now get your ass back in bed. I’ll…I’ll grab you both food.” I said, suddenly needing to do something with my hands. I shoo Cassian back across the hall to his room and I did not leave until he propped up with his pillows again. I shot him a glare that told him to not move and then headed towards the kitchen.

I didn’t do much. Just heated up some pieces of bread and cut thin slices of cheese, some leftover meat from the fridge. Not nearly enough for two full grown Illyrains that were still trying to heal, but enough to get them through until I could cook dinner.

I walked into Cassian’s room first. Cassian was nothing but smiles as I handed him the plate.

“I might get hurt more often if it means I get to see you playing nurse princess.”

“Cassian-”

“Don’t. I know. We’re both here. We’re all here.” He flinched slightly. “Well not all all of us but she’s okay at least.” He was rambling and I leaned down to press a light kiss to his forehead, deciding against giving him one of his signature hugs.

“No more dying on me, General. Do you hear me?”

“Yes ma’am.” I point to the plate and mime eating before I turn around and carry the other plate to Azriel’s room.

I knock despite the open door, not wanting to startle him. But his shadows are already nudging the door open wider for me. The fae lights cast a small glow to the room, the curtains still drawn tight. I place the tray of food on the small table beside his bed and sit down next to him. He doesn’t say much, just letting us sit in comfortable silence.

“You should eat.” I say eventually. He chuckles.

“I’ll survive.”

“Az.”

“Just stay with me?” He asks, and how am I to deny him. I curl up closer to his side. I don’t know when it happens but feeling him next to me sends me into a dreamless sleep.

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The next few days pass the same. I help the boys with whatever they need. Cassian needed more help than Azriel due to his balance issues. Eventually Cas was able to walk without my arm to support him. We walked back and forth along the long hallways in the townhouse. We spent hours with him just flexing his wings up and down, up and down, until he was sweating and wincing with pain.

Rhys is busy with literally anything else it seems. He is only in the house long enough to change clothes and maybe eat whatever I’ve left out for him. He’s never in his room for more than a few minutes. At this point I’m surprised that he has any hair left with how much he’s been running his hand through it. Not once has anyone dared mention Feyre. No ideas have been shared on how to get her back. I know that the mating bond wasn’t the one that was snapped between them but I can see the way the distance is wearing him thin.

Rhys will push down emotions until they nearly kill him and I had enough of it, I catch him one day trying to sneak out to do gods knows during the late hours of the night. The lights flicker on in the hallway as I sit down at the large table in the kitchen.

“Hello.” Is all he says to me, turning to leave again.

“Sit down Rhys.” I sigh to him. He tries to pretend he doesn’t hear me. “Rhysand. Sit your ass down in this chair right now or so help me, I’m following you wherever you go.”

He flinches at my tone. The voice that makes me sound eerily similar to our mother. I see his shoulder rise as he takes a deep breath and he sits in the chair that I kicked out with my foot.

“You’re not sleeping, you’re hardly eating. When was the last time you even bathed?” I could see the dark circles under his eyes, the slightly sick pallor of his tan skin. “Everyone else might be content to let you destroy yourself but I’m not going to sit back and watch it happen.”

He doesn’t say anything, just stares blankly at a spot behind my shoulder.

“Killing yourself isn’t going to bring her back.” I whisper, scared to say it too loudly. He flinches.

“Melody-Please.” His voice breaks.

“No. And you can’t keep blaming yourself that it happened-” He opens his mouth to try to interrupt me but I hold up a hand. “You aren’t going to sit here and tell me that’s not exactly what’s happening here. You’re punishing yourself for what happened at Hybern. No of us saw it coming. We got sold out by the one person we should have seen it coming from. But guess what, it happened. And we all survived. Be happy for that. Be happy that you didn’t have to take home your brother's lifeless body. Be happy that Cassian was able to keep his wings, and most of all, be happy that Feyre is somewhere where we know she’s safe.”

“BUT SHE SHOULD BE HERE!” His fist slams down on the table, I don’t even flinch. “I should have been able to protect her. The one thing in life I swore I would do, I wasn’t able to do. And now she’s back at that house that she hated. The one that he locked her away in and there’s nothing that I can do.” His head slumps, his voice breaking.

“So you do what you can. And most importantly you remember why she did it. She didn’t put herself back in Tamlin’s arms because she was trying to save herself. Rhys,” I place my hand over his, still clenched in a fist. “She did it for you, for us, for her real home. She did so that we could come back.” He takes a deep breath, his head shaking slightly.

“I should have been enough to protect her. Why do the people I love always get hurt?” He speaks like it’s a confession. And the words sound so foreign to me, that self hatred I know he hides away. That I feel tears well in my eyes.

“Rhys-”

“I wasn’t enough to save you. I couldn’t save our other sister, I couldn’t save my own mother. Cassian and Azriel should have died in Hybern. I should have died under the mountain.”

“It’s not your job to save everyone.” And once again he’s shaking his head.

“I’m sorry that you’ve felt like this for so long. But we’re your family. No one thinks you're a failure Rhys. If you do, fine, that’s your own guilt to process and I won’t tell you what to feel but I know I don’t see you like that. And no one else sees you like that. We’re by your side through all of this not because you’re our high lord but because we love you. We’re in this together and we always have been.” And he looks at me, really looks at me and I see nothing more than my older brother. The boy he used to be before he ever thought he would be high lord. The scared boy in Illyria who took in strays because he cared so much.

“Now, you can sit here and continue to feel sorry for yourself, continue to waste away while we’re forced to watch, or you can make sure all of this means something.”

The difference was night and day. Cassian’s wings were getting stronger every day. We had taken to him training by carrying me up to the house of wind then back down. He didn’t make it the first time but within a week he was able to do it without breaking a sweat. Azriel and Rhys were watching the other courts. Spy networks to try to figure out plans and paths for the other courts.

Rhys took over for what Azriel couldn’t do. Rhys didn’t open up more than he did that night, but I saw the way his face seemed more relaxed. His shoulders were a little less tense and it wasn’t perfect but it was a start. We’d focus on all the other stuff after the war. And the war was coming whether we liked it or not. He had only been gone for half a day when I felt the image slam into my head. Cassian and Azriel were sitting next to me, one of the few moments that the three of us were together. Feyre being slashed across the face by Eris. Running, ice cracking under her. She was in Winter. Close enough from the border that we could be there in a matter of minutes.

“Shit.” I pushed myself up to my feet, not caring as the chair clattered to the ground at my feet. Cassian was out of the house faster than I could blink.Azriel following right behind.l I was left on my feet staring at the open door of the house.

I’m on my way back. She’s going to be okay. Rhys' voice filled my head and I could hear the desperation in his voice, the sheer force at which he was rushing to get back to the house.

I sat and waited, picking at my nail bed until they started bleeding, watching the scabs form only to pick them back open. Blood was caked under my nails by the time I heard the beating of wings. They’re back. I practically screamed in my head. I felt the sigh of relief from my brother.

Less than 5 minutes.

My throat felt tight as I took in Feyre. Her clothing was torn and dirty. Hair a tangled mess. But she was alive. Alive and home. I sent the image of her standing in front of me to my brother.

“Feyre.” I choked out. And her small smile was all I needed to launch myself into her arms. She seemed taken aback by my sudden movement, arms hanging limply by her side until they wrapped around my shoulders.

“Welcome home.” I whispered, clutching her closer. I finally pulled away from her, giving her a quick once over for any major injuries. She seemed okay, safe for a gash that was already healing in her arm.

“Eris had her cornered.” I felt the blood leave my face at Cassian’s words.

“How did she-”

“You think I would let her die?”

The relief that had rushed through me was quickly pushed out of my body as I caught a glimpse of the long red hair that trailed behind her.

“Get out.” My tone was enough to make Lucine freeze in his tracks. His eyes locked with mine and I felt Azriel by my side in an instant. “How dare you show your face in this city. In my house.” I felt that darkness rattling in its cage. Begging to be released. Genuine fear flashed across Lucines face. I risked a glance at Feyre and I saw the startled look on her face.

“He saved me.”

“I don’t give a flying fuck what he did. I care about what he’s done.” They both flinched.

Feyre said my name and it was only the near silent footsteps of my brother entering the room that stopped me from wrapping my hands around Lucien’s throat. I looked up at the ceiling and took a deep breath.

“Don’t think this is over.” I gritted out to Lucien who took a deep breath of his own.

Rhys cleared his throat from behind me and I had the sense to step out of the way. Letting Feyre see her mate. And when their eyes met, she collapsed onto the floor. Sobs already echoing through the room. Rhys was on his knees in front of her in a matter of seconds, holding her face in his hands before they whispered to each other and he pulled her lips to his.

I was happy for them, but I would be happier if I was anywhere but that room.

“Find somewhere else to be.” Rhys didn’t even pull away from Feyre long enough to make sure we heard him. And I didn’t need to be told twice. I pushed the two gawking Illyrians out of the house, Mor grabbing Lucien’s arm and towing him behind her.

“Gods.” Cassian mumbled under his breath as I pushed him a little too hard. Azriel glanced at me, silently asking if I was okay. I thought for a second and shrugged.

Mor winnowed all of us to the outskirts of the house of wind, Azriel flying me up to the door.

The moment we entered the house, I had the front of Lucien’s shirt in my hands.

“You fucking bastard. You scheming, slimy bastard.” I shoved him so hard he fell onto his back, scooting across the floor as I stalked over him. “Give me one reason why I shouldn’t kill you right now.” Lucien was silent. The room was silent. The redhead in front of me just hung his head, shaking it slightly.

“I don’t have one.” HIs voice shook but I didn’t let it freeze the anger burning through me.

“Then you better start explaining what the hell happened.”

So he did.

“Despite what you think, Tamlin does love Feyre. In his own way and after everything with Ama- With her” He corrected himself, not willing to say the witch queen's name. “He was so scared. His court was, is, in ruins. It looked bad to have a partner going back and forth. He tried to get information out of Feyre. Layouts and locations and plans. But she only gave us the same excuse that she didn’t remember. Saying that Rhysand was playing with her memory. They were insignificant details. But it terrified Tamlin. To think that he was sending his mate into danger whenever she left his side. If we had known what was really happening..”

“You would have never let her leave.” Lucien had the decency to look ashamed.

“He got more and more worried. Was searching all over for any way to break the bond. Every time he thought he might have found a way, it was a dead end. So he got more scared, but also was spending more time away. I was too. I saw through the happy act she was putting on but I couldn’t do anything to help. I didn’t know what she wanted, what she was waiting for. She started talking to me but that only made Tamlin more and more mad. She was looking for any way to help us and Tam pushed her away everytime.” The words kept coming.

“Then he lost it. She had threatened to follow us. To leave the house, Tamlin was so scared he was shaking. The thought of her getting hurt again because of him was eating him alive. I don’t think he even began to think of what locking her in the house would do. Neither of us did.” He looked to Mor now, for the first time.

“I’m glad you got her. She was drowning and there was nothing I could have done.”

“You could have stood up to him.” I said bluntly.

“I couldn’t help you. Why do you think I could suddenly help her.”

“Because you should have.”

“And then what? I piss off Tamlin enough that he kicks me out of the court, thinking I’m making another move on Feyre. Don’t give me that look, he thought when she first got there but I would never. If he gets sick of me, then where do I go? Not back to Autumn. And who would take me in, everyone’s afraid of my father. Afraid of Tamlin. I would be utterly fucked. So I sat by yet again and watched every day as she got worse and worse. And I hate myself for it.”

“So how does all of this become helping Hybern?”

“Tamlin lost it when he came back and found Feyre gone. He searched the whole court for her, even sent people into summer to look for her. We searched for days and then he caught that familiar whiff of Rhysands power and he truly lost his mind. Again, we’d been hearing how awful he was to her but he knew he couldn’t just march into the Night Court and get her. And now I know we wouldn’t have found her anyways because she was here. He tore the entire manor apart. He just…he’s not himself anymore. I don’t know what happened to my friend but something under the mountain changed him.”

“Good. He could burn the entire place to the ground and he still wouldn’t have gotten all he deserves.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“Don’t. Fucking. Speak. For. Me” I hissed at him. He raised his hands in surrender.

“Hybern walked right in. Offered Tamlin a way to get Feyre back and stopped listening after that. Plus Ianthe did what she does best. She saw an opportunity for more power and she jumped on it. Whispering to Tamlin how everything would be better if we joined Hybern. We, I, never wanted to go that far. But once Tam get’s something in his head…”

“It’s like talking to a brick wall.” I finished for him. He nodded and I let out a heavy sigh. Everyone held their breath as I reached out a hand to pull Lucien off of the floor.

“Thank you-”

“If you take one step out of line. One hint that you’re going to go running back to him. And I’ll gut you where you stand.” Was all I said as I walked away from the group. I felt all their eyes on me and I didn’t care. I stormed up the stairs to my room and slammed the door. I was acting like an upset babe but so be it. I can feel the anger coming off of me in waves. Explanation or not, it doesn’t undo everything that Tamlin has done. The image of Feyre’s face as she had to watch her sisters being thrown into the cauldron, not knowing if they would survive, was something that haunted my dreams. A feeling of being helpless to defend your own blood. It boiled my blood. Despite Lucien claiming he wanted to stop him, he didn’t. And that’s the only thing that matters. He could have but it was uncomfortable for him to do, so he did what he does. Sat back and let it happen. Playing the nice guy when Tamlin wasn’t around. I can’t count the amount of times Lucien held me as I cried only to let the same thing happen again and again. But he’s here. He got Feyre back.

Part of me was more angry about that. He got her out. And I’m thankful that he did but why was she any different? What had been so bad that he decided to leave another court. I pushed the thought away, choosing to sit in my own rage instead of nurturing the little kernel of sympathy that I was feeling for Lucien. He made his bed, he can fucking rot in it for all I care. At least that’s what I told myself as I flung myself onto the bed and pulled the covers over my head. Blocking out the faint knocks I heard on my door.

Of course it wasn’t that easy. I felt the bed dip as someone sat down next to me. I peeked my head out from the covers long enough to see Mor. Her face was tight. Eyebrows pulled close to her nose and her teeth clenched.

“I wish you would have hit him at least.” She joked and I pulled the blanket back over my head. “Okay, wrong thing to say.” She gave a tense laugh. “It was weird seeing him.” Her voice was suddenly small. I wanted to kick myself in the head. I never once considered what it would be like for Mor to see him. Her own memories that would have dragged back up. I pulled the covers back down, looking at her now.

“I don’t remember much, but he was the one that called Azriel for me that day.” She was picking at her nails, chipping off pieces of her perfect manicure.

“I’m not saying I’m happy he’s here. But there’s good in him, as good as any of the Vanserras can be.”

“That makes it worse.”

“Why?”

“Because he could be good. But good people can’t stand around and watch bad things happen.”

“You know it’s not that simple.”

“Amarantha almost killed me for doing it. So yes, I do know. But I also know that I would rather die than watch the people I love get hurt.”

“Then you’re better than most people. Congratulations.” Sarcasm dripped from her voice and I fought the urge to kick her out of the room. I know she was hurting, the way her eyes were flickering around the room, avoiding mine, let me know as much. So I let her bitch at me. If it made her feel better. I pulled the blanket back a little more, patting the area next to me. She thought about it for a second before she crawled next to me. I didn’t hesitate to wrap my arms around her.

“When did everything get so damn complicated?”

“Get?” I asked and she laughed. A real laugh this time and I found myself laughing right along with her.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We all found ourselves in the house of wind that night. None of us were brave enough to try to see if the coast was clear at the townhome.

“I wouldn’t blame them if we didn’t see them for a month.” Cassian said as he drained the contents of his glass.

“Gross. Okay. It’s bad enough I had to see…all of that. But don’t remind me.”

“Aw sorry Princess. I forgot we had virgin ears in the room.”

“Knock it off you oaf.” I threw a pillow in his general direction. “He’s still my brother. I don’t want to hear your speculation about his sex life.” I cringed even saying the words.

“Prude.” Cassian snorted.

“Asshole.” I countered.

“Gods why don’t you two kiss already, it would be quicker than listening to this all night. Isn’t that what you all do here anyways?” Lucien chirped from the corner of the room.

I was about to snap at him when a deep rumbling growl filled the room.

“Shut your mouth Lucien. I won’t stop her if she goes for your throat this time.” Azriel bit out.

I felt a shameful blush creep over my cheeks as Azriel defended me. I wanted to scream how wrong Lucien was. Wanted to run my hands down Azriel’s perfect face and let him know exactly what I thought of him. It had taken one touch from him earlier to calm me down. Right as he had to haul me off of Lucien earlier.The redhead asked one question about Elain and I lost it.

Screamed at him all over again. For his audacity to say we stole her away from him.

“I don’t know what I expected from the night court.” Muttering under his breath had me launching myself at him. Hands already reaching for his neck. And it was truly only Azriel that stopped me. He picked me up like I weighed nothing. Threw me over his shoulder and put me in my room. I pouted like the child I felt like until I had calmed down enough to be in the same room as him.

Even now, Lucien still gave me a wide berth. I’m honestly a little impressed that he found the nerve to try to make a joke. But Lucien saw everything. That was one of his biggest strengths. So he no doubt could tell the way I knew my eyes lingered on Azriel. The way I blushed when he looked at me for too long and he had decided to go right for the throat in his own way. Calling out Cassian and I’s banter as anything more than just that. Reminding him not so subtly about Cassian and Mor.

“Get snippy with me all you want, shadowsinger. If you can stomach it, go ahead. Me on the other hand. I’m tired and sore and just want to go the fuck to sleep. So goodnight. You all can take turns plotting to kill me in the morning.” And he stormed off with no other words.

He had just left the room before Cassian chuckled, poking me in the ribs with his elbow.

“He sure can dish it out can’t he.”

“Shove it, Cas.” Azriel snapped at him. My eyes shot to Az, eyebrows raised in question.

“Maybe he’s right. We’ve had a long day. It might be time to get some sleep.”

“Yeah.” I stood up, pulling away from Casisan’s side. “Walk with me?” I held my hand out for Azriel to take. He stood with a huff but grabbed my hand anyways. I prayed Azriel missed the way Cassian muttered under his breath.

“Thank you.” I said once we were out of ear shot. I had led him to the library in the house.

“For what?”

“I don’t know. Defending me.” I suddenly felt shy under his gaze.

“Princess, I will always defend you.”

“I know. You know there's nothing going on with Cas and I right?”

He bristled at my words.

“It wouldn’t be a big deal if there was.” His tone was unreadable and I felt stupid for the way my heart sank.

“Yeah totally. But I was just letting you know. I mean you would probably be the first to know anyways. The way these things have been following me around lately.” I looked down at the shadow that was currently resting right at my foot. Nearly wrapped around my ankle. As if sensing my glance, it pulled back in closer to Azriel.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I like having them around. It makes me feel safe. Like there’s always something or someone watching out for me.” I felt my cheeks heat up as the words fell out of my mouth. I tried to look away but a gentle hand brought up to my cheek stopped me.

“Melody, look at me please.” His words were enough to stop my heart in my chest. We still had never talked about the kiss. After everything that had happened with Hybern, it never felt like the right time.

“Azriel. I need to talk to you.”

“Anything.”

“You kissed me.” The words were out of my mouth and you would have thought I poured a bucket of cold water over his head. His hand dropped from my face and he took a step back. I didn't realize just how close we were standing together until I felt the empty space where he had been.

“Az. Please.”

“No. Just stop. It was a mistake. That’s all.” This had to be a nightmare. But the cold shock to my entire system, the pain that radiates through every fiber of my being told me it wasn’t. Not even my nightmares would be this cruel. To let me think that I was so close to having him only to have it ripped away from me.

“Oh. Right.” I took a step back of my own. Willing the world to tilt back onto its axis. Trying to pretend that I didn’t feel like I was drowning in all the words I had planned on telling him.

“Right. Of course. A mistake.” I felt the sting in the back of my teeth, the way my whole face tightened up. The itch in the back of my nose. I was going to fall apart right in front of him if I didn’t get out of here right now.

“Melody.”

“No. That’s all I needed to hear. I just needed to know that you felt the same.” I forced out. Trying to keep my voice as calm as possible. And despite my better judgment, despite that little voice in my head that screamed at me to stay right there and scream and curse and yell at him to love me back. I walked away. I left him standing in the garden, hands balled into fists at his side. And I walked into the house. Trying to keep it together as I passed Cassian. Not even bothering to say good night as I all but ran up the stairs into the room that was mine when we visited.

I almost screamed when I saw a figure curled up in the middle of my bed. But as the fae lights flickered on, I let out a sigh of relief.

Nesta.

“That was…dramatic.”

“What?”

“All of that in the garden.”

My heart stopped for the second time that night. “You..You heard all of that?”

“Well it was kind of hard not too.” She pointed to her ears. “Super hearing, remember? Perk of being made and all of that fun stuff.”

“Nesta. If you heard all of that then you know I’m not in the mood for whatever this is.”

“What all of what is?”

“This thing where you say something hurtful and I throw it right back and we go until we’re both pissed at each other.”

“I just came to bring you this.” She smirked. Holding up one of the smutty romance books I saw her constantly reading around the house. “Figured you’d need it since you clearly aren’t getting anything any time soon.”

“Get out. Please.” Her words sent a fresh pang of disappointment through me. Of course I had thought of Azriel that way over the years. Gods, it was all I could think about lately. But more than anything, I wanted him to be my friend. And I don;t know how I was ever supposed to look at him again without collapsing into tears. Nesta’s eyes met mine and I saw her face drop for the first time. The first time I saw that feline smirk slide off of her beautiful face.

“He must mean a lot to you. To look at him like that.” She said like she was talking to herself.

“He does. He did. I don’t know anymore.”

“Do you still want me to go?” And it was that little bit of warmth in her voice that I clung to. Even if it was sympathy. Even if Nesta really hated me for simply being fae. Sitting alone in my room and crying wasn’t going to get anything done.

“No. I’m sorry.” That was all it took for her to scoot to the other side of my bed. Patting the spot next to her. She curled her knees up to her chest as I climbed in next to her.

“Then you better tell me everything.”

So I did. I told her how it all started. Every little glance and touch and feeling. Almost five hundred years worth of history between Azriel and I. Which wasn’t a lot since it was mostly me just being an idiot in front of him. But she kept quiet. There were no nasty comments to be found on the tip of her tongue.

“I wish I loved someone like that.” She whispered into the air as I finished. Feeling like I had been trampled under an avalanche.

“It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. Or do you think I’m just an outlier.”

“That’s not what I meant. I can’t even imagine how you;’re feeling right now. But I also just couldn’t imagine having that much space in me to love someone that much. Love them and not have them.”

“Nesta, has anyone told you that you’re great at pep talks?” I chuckle softly

“No.”

“Good then I don’t have to tell you someone’s been lying to you.” And my words pull a genuine laugh from her. A full head thrown back, eyes crinkled, full bellied laugh..

“Thank you.” I tell her when a comfortable silence fills the air.

“You don’t have to thank me.” She says with a large roll of her eyes.

“I know, but I am. So suck it up.” I elbow her and she laughs again. “No but seriously, thank you. I probably would have spent all night curled up trying not to cry.”

“Well, I’m always here with a book if you need it.” She yawns and goes to leave the room.

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With Feyre now back, we were spending more time than not around the map in my office. Cassian and Azriel taking frequent trips to Windhaven to try to get the Illryians together before the war came. We would need every single male they had so training had become even more rigorous. We had months at most to make them battlefield ready.

I spent all of my time not at the town house at the house of wind. Which despite all the space was feeling very cramped. Nesta and I had called a silent truce since that night when I spilled my guts out to her. Lucien hovering in the background, getting used to the fact that Velaris even existed. And then there was Elain. She mostly just sat in her room and stared out her window. Nesta would be able to get her to eat only enough to keep her alive but she wouldn’t take anymore than that. The few times I tried to talk to her were unsuccessful.

I saw how much it was killing Lucien. To be so close to his mate but not be able to see her. He followed the rules Feyre had given him to a T. and I truly believed he just wanted the best for her. He wanted the same thing that we all did and that was for her to be okay with this life that she did not choose.

I tried again to talk to Elain. Nesta and Lucien get into another fight about what to do with the poor girl.

“Get her some fresh air. Let her see the sun. Being locked up in this house isn’t doing her any good”

As much as I hated to admit it, Lucien was right. Feyre always talked about how much Elain loved gardening. Were we any better than Tamlin, was I any better than Tamlin, if I kept her locked inside a house that she didn’t want to be in and just watched her waste away.

I knocked gently on her door. I didn’t wait for a response, I knew I wasn’t going to get one. To no surprise, Elain was sitting in her chair by the window. The sun made her flecks of auburn shine in her hair. It gave her cheeks so much needed color. But I could see the deep set rings under her eyes. The purple marks that let me know exactly how well she was adjusting to life as a fae.

“Elain, I want to show you something. If that’s okay. You don’t have to, if you don’t want to but I think you’ll like it.

Elain didn’t speak. But she took my outstretched hand and let me lead her to the garden. She seemed more upset after Feyre had left. But I saw the tiniest bit of life return as she took in the flowers around her. It had been my mothers garden. I wanted to burn it all down when I returned home but Rhys wouldn’t let me. The smell alone made me want to puke but I fought it down. Elain’s eyes had been looking out the window longingly for weeks now. If this would bring back a semblance of the girl Feyre had talked about, I could suck it up. If she had gone into that cauldron, kicking and screaming. I could go out to the stupid garden.

So I walked through the familiar hedge’s, twin moon statues on either side and let Elain lead the way from there. She wandered through the rows. Some empty from when I demanded all the roses be pulled from the ground, some not. Some held beautiful twisting nightshades, and my mothers pride and joy, black lilies. Black until the center spots which held a rich purple. I loved them too. I found myself smiling at the flowers, mind wandering to thoughts of my mother.

“You have to be gentle with them. They’re more fragile than your little sister, more fragile than a babe. If you touch the petals too much, they could die.” So I avoided the petals, sprinkling dirt around the newly exposed roots like she had shown me. She patted me on the head when I did it correctly, my own crooked smile plastered on my face. “Now, I think I remember you talking about cookies earlier?”

Elain’s soft voice pulled me out of my memories. “Pretty. I miss my garden at home. I want to go back.” Not unusual for her to say. She always wanted to go home and I could do nothing but wrap my arms around her as she started sobbing again.

“I know you do. I know more than you can understand.” I had stopped apologizing by now. Sorry I wasn't going to undo what was done to her and she had enough sympathy for herself. I couldn’t explain to her that I knew what it was like to want to go back home so badly your bones ached. I couldn’t explain to her that I had barely survived my time under the mountain and the only way I did was with the knowledge that I would see it again someday. So I held her instead. I poured all of the kind thoughts I had about the girl, all the words Feyre had spoken about her, into that hug. Hoping that even for a second I could make this new place feel like home to her.

Eventually, she had cried herself out. I was able to get her to take a few sips from the tea I had brought out. No luck on the assorted fruit or bread. But she did study the bread. Not like she was hungry but in a way that seemed like curiosity. Eyebrows furrowed slightly, eyes unblinking.

“Can you show me how to make this?” She asked suddenly and I jumped, not expecting to hear her voice again.

“Of course. Any reason?”

“I want to do something with my hands again. But gardening..it’s too…” She struggled to find the words, her hands started shaking and she closed her eyes tightly. Sucking in deep breaths through her nose. I placed my hand around hers, breathing in time with her. The trembling stopped and she opened her eyes. That little spark I saw earlier gone. I went to stand up, to show her to the kitchen but she remained sitting. Eyes far away and glassy. So I sat back down.

The two of us sat out there until I saw Nesta marching through the garden. She paused when she saw the two of us. Face softening ever so slightly. Nesta was a harder nut to crack than Elain. All bark and claws and eyerolls, but the way she looked at her sister. We never talked about that night in my room. The secrets that we shared, and I never would. Not when I recognized so much of myself in the female in front of me. So scared she didn't know what way was up or down. Just trying to keep her head above water as everything surrounded her on all sides.

Cassian had seemed to gravitate towards the eldest sister. It didn’t seem to be a conscious decision but he would always sit next to her. Eyes followed her when she walked out of the room. His wings would flair out during their many arguments, but would always curl in slightly towards her. No one dared comment on the fact that Rhys did the same thing with Feyre. The idea that all three of the sisters had found their mates was too complicated for right now. They were still trying to make it through the day, still waking up in the middle of the night screaming from whatever had happened to them in the seconds they were pulled into the cauldron. All of that could wait until later. And it brought me some sick sort of joy to see the way Lucien squirmed when Elain would flat out ignore him. But she ignored everyone so I knew it wasn’t personal, as much as I wished it was.

As if sensing that I was thinking about him, Lucien appeared behind Nesta. He didn’t even get to utter a greeting before Nesta was pulling her sister by the hand back into the house. Lucien’s eyes followed her the entire way. A look that was so full of longing I had to avert my eyes, suddenly feeling like I was intruding on a private moment.

It seemed like he just noticed my presence and went to walk away.

I sighed heavily and kicked the chair Elain had been seated in closer to Lucien. He raised an eyebrow at me.

“Unless you want to go back to pouting in the house, which by all means, do.” I said in return.

He tentatively sat down, shoulders tense. I didn’t try to speak to him. Didn’t want to know what was going on in his mind.

“I know you think I’m horrible.” He started. I kept my face neutral. “And I know it doesn’t fix anything now, but I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all of it. I’m sorry I didn’t get you out of that house. I’m sorry you think I’m such a coward.” I leaned back in my chair as I let his words sink in. “I didn’t ask for her to be my mate. I’m not even sure I really want a mate.” I snorted at the words and he rushed on. “After everything with my last… lover, I never thought that I would be blessed with a mate. You weren’t the first female I had failed to save.” And I knew this. Had heard bits and pieces of the story during my time in spring. His face fell when I didn’t respond, he started to move to get up and I let him. He was almost out of the garden before I spoke his name. He turned to look at me, his face so full of guilt that I couldn’t stop the words that came out of my mouth.

“Make this one time count then.” Make what you did for Feyre count. He looked confused then his face became sullen as he nodded. He didn’t say anything else before he kept walking back to the house.

I sat out by the garden long after the sun had set behind the horizon. It was getting colder out, proof that summer was starting to end, but I didn’t have it in me to move inside. I stared at the stars, tracing the constellations in my mind.

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We all reluctantly agree that a trip to the court of nightmares is needed. If we’re really going to stand any chance we need Kier’s soldiers.

I’m standing at the base of the stairs, waiting for Feyre and Rhys to pull themselves off of each other for long enough for us to get anything done. I’ve been thankful for the fact that I’m practically living in the house of wind. Some silly part of me is jealous over my brother's happiness.

Azriel walks in and we both gawk at each other. For once the Illyrian leathers are gone. Replaced with a suit that puts Rhys’ to shame. Tight black dress shirt that clings to every single one of his muscles. His pants are still those tight training pants that showcase his toned legs. I force my eyes away from him, only to catch his roving all over my body. A small feeling of pride settles in my bones. I might have picked out this dress exactly to get that reaction from him.

The slits on the dress sit high on my hips, the fabric draped expertly to hide as much as they show. A deep vee plunges almost all the way to navel, draped in the same way as the skirt.

I will the goosebumps to disappear on my skin. I can almost feel his gaze like it’s his hands all over me. I look away, biting my lip to hold back a shudder.

“Gods girl. Save some for the rest of us.” Mor says as she takes in my dress. I’m thankful for her interruption. It cuts some of the tension I can practically taste in the air.

I link my arm with Mor and don’t wait around for the others as we winnow to the court of nightmares.

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Per usual Azriel walked in after us. His dramatic entrance had people darting out of their way. I couldn’t help the satisfied smile that rose on my face. I also couldn’t keep my eyes off of Azriel dressed in his tight button up and dress pants. So unlike the usual fighting leathers he wore around everywhere. Still in his signature black, and of course, he still had the various harnesses that strapped his weapons to him, truth teller hanging at his side. Siphons on his hands and shoulders. But something about his clothes made him look even deadlier. The idea that he didn’t need to be in his leathers to make someone spill their secrets, or to spill their guts.

He caught my eyes across the room, a smirk on his face that softened for merely a second before slipping back in that cold one.And it was that second of a real smile, a break in the cocky and cruel demeanor that made me almost fall to my knees. If Rhys had not been standing beside me, I would have collapsed at the weight of that tiny golden string that seemed to float across the room, settling right in front of Azriel. Azriel’s nostrils flared and I could simply not look away from him. Every single molecule of my body was tuned into him. I lurched forward, Rhys’ hand wrapped around my arm and pulled me back from running down the dias into Azriel’s arms. Azriel noticed the movement and ran his eyes down my entire body, twice, before he turned around and walked towards the meeting room.

My mind went back to our conversation a few weeks ago. It was a mistake. My heart broke all over again. He didn’t want me. Azriel was my mate and he did not want me. Even I had noticed the way his gaze lingered on the oldest Archeron sister. I felt my knees tremble as the weight of what was going to happen crashed over me. He was going to laugh me off. I was never going to be anymore than Rhys’ sister to him. I was a mistake. It was so cruel that I almost wanted to laugh. The very thing I had been praying would happen for centuries happens right as soon as I find out that he doesn’t want me like that. It takes all my focus to turn back to the room. To not focus on that golden string that seemed like it was pulling me tighter and tighter the further Azriel got from me. Could I keep it from him? A small part of me had been hoping that the mother would be kind enough to have my mate be someone else. Someone else so I could get those hazel eyes out of my head. That I could be happy with someone else that was not the male that had made his intentions crystal clear. No. I would not be selfish enough to tell him. Maybe it would never snap for him and we could just continue as we always have. Toeing the line that neither of us would dare to cross. Azriel could be my best friend. I would not lose him because of the bond. I felt a small glimmer of calm wash over me and it was enough to bring my attention back to the room around me.

A scream ran through the air and pulled me out of my downward spiral. I tensed up. Eyes darting around to find the source of the noise .Frozen in the middle of the crowd, three males were trying to plead to those around them to be spared. Cassian grabbed all three of them by the knap of their necks like they were nothing more than puppies.

“Meeting room. Now” Rhys said in the general direction of Kier as he helped Feyre rise from the throne, a ravenous look in his eyes as he watched her walk in front of him. I looked away quickly. Trying not to imagine Azriel giving me that same look. It felt like every nerve in my body was on fire. I was itching to talk to Azriel. Did he know? His look told me that he had at least sensed something. The thought immediately made my hand shoot up to my chest, rubbing away the discomfort that came with it.

The meeting room was nothing special. The same cold marble as the rest of Hewn city. No warmth to be found. I took my usual spot besides Azriel and I tried to ignore the way he shifted his chair ever so slightly away from me.

“Thank you for meeting with us, Kier.”

He scoffed. “Let’s skip the niceties and get down to what you want from me, Rhys. You want my soldiers. And I already know what I want in return.”

“You’ll remember that they are mine. This palace, the people of your court. All of it is mine.” He growls.

“Then that begs the question. Where exactly does our high lord spend all of his time? It’s certainly not in his court. So where exactly do you hide Rhysand?”

“I don’t have time for this.”

“My answer is no.”

“You would-” Azriel starts but Rhys simply holds a hand out for him to stop.

“I anticipated your less than enthusiastic response. That’s why I prepared something that you can’t say no to.” He speaks to the corner of the room. “You can come in.”

I must be dreaming. This has to be some sick twisted nightmare. My eyes dart from my brother to Mor as he enters the room. Eris. A snarl rips past Azriel’s lips and Cassian’s hand is instantly on his sword by his side.

“What is he doing here?” Cassian spits out. So they weren’t aware either.

Rhys ignores us all. I reach under the table and grab Mor’s hand. She instantly has a death grip on mine. Squeezing it so tightly I can feel her nails digging into my skin. I don’t go to move her.

“Eris has been working with us for some time now. In exchange we support him when he kills Beron.”

“And where do I play into this?” I can see the hungry gleam in Kier’s eyes despite his best efforts at appearing nonchalant.

“You’ve wanted an alliance with Autumn for as long as I can remember. This is your way to get it. But you can’t if there is no Pyrthian left to come back to. And that’s what will happen if we do not work together.”

Eris launched into the story of how he had been working against his fathers back over the years. When I felt Mor tremble, I thought of what it would feel like to sink my hands into his throat and pull it out. Rhys and Kier talked to Eris. Their words flowed in one ear and clean out the other, not finding purchase. Between Mor trying to keep from shaking next to me, to the feeling of that golden string that I kept pulling against, I was exhausted. Mentally and psychically.

Something warm snuck along my stomach, fanning my whole body. I felt myself sag ever so slightly. I couldn’t place where the feeling came from but it made my skin prickle and my heart sped up. I tried to look at Azriel but he was pointedly looking everywhere but me. Eyes unsteady, fluttering between our group. Sinking in the words that my brother was speaking. He must not have felt anything because how else could he be so composed right now. I was practically vibrating next to Mor and if it wasn’t for our current situation, I know she would have called me out on it.

“Not good enough.” Kier’s head snaps to Rhys. “ I want something else in return.” My eyes widened as I realized what exactly it was that he was asking for.

“No.” Mor bites out. “Rhys you can’t seriously be considering-”

“You do this on my terms. One week. And you are only allowed in my house. You will not step foot outside, you will not interact with any of my people. If you can agree to those terms then we have a deal.”

“Rhys. Please.” And it’s the closest to begging I’ve ever heard from Mor. Rhys ignores her pleading and I want to throttle my brother right there. He nods his head.

“I also need the Ouroboros Mirror.”

Kier laughed at her words. Even I raised an eyebrow.

“It’s yours if you are brave enough to look into it. Oh did you not know?” Kier laughed again. “You have to look into the mirror to take it and anyone who has looked into it has gone insane.”

Feyre paled at his words and said no more on the subject.

“Have you lost your damn mind?” I was screaming in my head. I was immediately met with Rhys slamming his mental walls shut. I knew I wasn’t the only one that was screaming at him. I sensed the way she had tensed up and I wanted nothing more than to kick the red head clean across the room.

The meeting seemed to be finally over. Rhys didn’t so much as say a goodbye before we were winnowing back to Velaris.

“How could you?” Those Were the first words anyone spoke when we returned. “How could you work with him? Of all the people in this damn world you picked him?” She was livid, voice trembling with anger and a shrill sadness. I wanted nothing more than to wrap my arms around her when I saw the tears spring in her eyes. “And Velaris? You want to let them come here? To my home.”

“If I had told you you wouldn’t have agreed and I needed us all to be there. I needed this to work.”

“You still should have warned her.” I grumbled to my brother. Not the least bit happy with him either. He gave me a shut up look and I didn’t back down. “You wouldn’t have just invited Tamlin to a meeting. Why is Eris any different?”

“It;s different because we need him.”

“It’s different because you said so.” He growled at my words, at the venom dripping from my words. At the challenge laced in them. I had opened my mouth to speak when I saw the shadows wrap around Rhys’ ankles. A flurry like I had never seen. Rhys stepped out of them, swatting them away like they were nothing more than a fly buzzing around his head, but they lingered.

“Azriel. Stop.” Rhys commanded. A sign of how annoyed he was. Azriel did not call his shadows back, instead he stared down my brother. A small snarl forming on his lips.

“Az…” And no sooner did his name leave my mouth did his shadows retract. Instead of going back to him, they swirled around my feet. Laying there leaving my feet with their slightly cold feeling.

“The next time you do something like that, I will kill you.” Mor spit at Rhys before she stormed off.

“You got us what we needed, Rhys, I won’t deny that. But at what cost?” Is all I say before I take off after Mor.

She’s curled up in the middle of her bed. I don’t hesitate to climb in behind her and wrap an arm around her. She’s muttering to herself. I run my hand over her hair, trying my best to comfort her. I don’t even have words to say to her. It might have been centuries since she’s seen Eris but those wounds run deep. Deep enough to destroy the confident female that she has always been.

I stay with her until she falls asleep. And even then I stay until I’m sure she won’t wake up screaming. Eventually I deem it safe and peel myself off of her, careful not to jostle her.

I sneak back to my room. Exhaustion sinking into my bones as I crossed the hallway to my room.

I was so tired it was no surprise that I didn’t see him before I was slamming into his chest.

Strong hands wrap around the tops of my arms to stop me from toppling backwards.

“Whoa there.” Azriel says as he steadies me. I tense as I hear his voice and he lets me go, taking a step away from me. I can’t look him in the eye.

“Is she okay?” It’s obvious who he’s talking about.

“She’s rattled for sure. But she’s asleep and I think that’s the best we can hope for.”

He nodded and I keep my gaze fixed above his shoulder.

“That’s good.” His voice is tight. The words clipped. It is borderline painful to be this close to him. My skin feels itchy and all of my nerves seem to be focused on the spot his hands were just on me.

“Azriel…” I start and he shakes his head.

“Not tonight. Please.”

“You know?” My shock rocks me to my core. I finally gather the courage to look at his face and I see nothing. No emotion.

“I’ve known for a long time..” His rubbing his thumb and forefinger together. One of his nervous ticks. I didn’t think it was possible for my heart to break even more. He knew.

“How…how long…?” My voice breaks

“Long before you went under the mountain.” And he didn’t tell me. Didn’t tell me because he didn’t want me. I feel hot tears slide down my face. I don’t have anything to say. What could I say? Plead for him to love me when he doesn’t? He starts to walk away, taking the warmth of his presence with him. I reach blindly for his arm. My hand wraps around his toned forearm.

“I’ll get over you, I promise. These feelings, they can just be temporary- with everything happening around us. I just… Please don’t leave me.” The grief that gripped my heart was enough to knock the wind out of me. The idea of losing him because of this stupid feeling in my chest. When I looked at him there was no disgust in his face, no loathing or anything that I had expected. He just stared at me blankly.

“Stop. I can’t… Just please, stop.” His voice was tight, breathing heavy.

“Azriel.”

“I can’t do this.”

My heart sank to my stomach. “Do what?”

“Talk to you about this. Talk about us. I prayed you would never feel the bond.”

It was like he had stabbed me with the blade at his side. I think I would have preferred it over the echoing numbness that coursed through me. He didn’t want me. All those touches and all this time, had I misread the signals that much. But I felt it, that little hint of deceit down the bond. The way his shadows wrapped around my feet, around my shoulders. Comforting me.

“We can talk about this, we don’t have to jump into anything. We can take out time-”

“No.” He all but shouted at me. He was breathing heavily, I could feel his exhales brush across my face.

“Please. Why wont you talk to me?” My voice broke, tears welling in my eyes. I couldn’t look at him, look at the way his face just dropped. We stood in silence, my words ringing around the room.

He didn’t try to hide the sob that left his mouth. “I’m terrified” My eyes snapped to him as he took my face gently between his hands. “You were taken away from me once. It nearly killed me then, but now, I know it would. And I know you’re more than capable of protecting yourself but if something were to happen to you because of me…” he trailed off, voice breaking at the thought.

“Azriel,” I looked him deep in his hazel eyes. “I’m the High Lord's sister. I’ve been trying to outrun Tamlin for over a hundred years. You forget that I lost you once too.” I finally met his eyes, his own tears echoing mine. “I have loved you since I knew what that word meant. Please don’t run away from me. Not from this.”

“You can’t mean that.” He whispered. I felt everything like a tidal wave. The rush of shame, the denial, the self loathing.

I didn’t respond right away, instead I took his hands in mine and placed feather soft kisses onto the scarred skin. “I mean it with every cell in my body. Every part of me is yours, Azriel. I’ve always been yours. Even before I felt the bond. It was always going to be you.” And as I placed kiss after kiss on his hand, I felt the sobs leave his body. Felt his wings wrap around me, securing us in our own little moment of time. I looked up at him, seeing this beautiful man with his soul laid out for me to see and knew that there was nothing I wouldn’t do for him. Nothing I wouldn’t risk if it meant I got to see those Hazel eyes looking at me that way. “Kiss me?” I whispered, almost pleading.

“I won’t be able to stop if I do.” He closed his eyes and I used my hold on his hands to pull him down to me.

“I don’t want you to. I want my beautiful mate to kiss me right here and right now.” It was like the world moved in slow motion as he leaned down to connect our lips. And it felt like every moment leading up to this had been in black and white. The world erupts into color for the first time as his lips touch mine. It wasn’t like the desperate kiss in the court of nightmares. This was his own personal love letter. And he had spent all of his life writing it. I thought I had spent my life waiting for that first kiss. But this kiss, this moment, was exactly what it had all been leading to. Time slowed down around me. Not caring about anything but the male in front of me and I let the rest of the world fade away. Wars and powers and horrible nightmares be damned. All I needed was the one thing standing in front of me. And I would be damned before I ever let someone take that away from me.

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