#she was who i first turned to when i was depressed

[crushpunky]

kook!reader talks rafe down

masterlist | kook!reader masterlist

warnings for drugs, violence, overdose, mentions of death, + depression… yeah this one’s sad ngl. this takes place the night of rafe’s first overdose, as mentioned here

Y/n was leaning against one of the walls of Tanneyhill, chatting with some Kook when Kelce ran up to her. He grabbed onto her arm firmly, tugging her behind him as he pushed through the sea of bodies that filled Tanneyhill

“Kelce what the fuck—” y/n stumbled as Kelce led her up the stairs.

“It’s Rafe, he— he’s going crazy. I’ve never seen him like this,” Kelce panted as they rushed down the hallway until they finally made it to Rafe’s room. “I don’t know if he took something or what is going on—”

“Jesus…” Y/n groaned as they opened the doors to Rafe’s room, her heart racing with worry. Inside, Topper stood in one of the corners, his eyes wide as he watched Rafe pace around the room. With each step, Rafe rolled his shoulders and clenched and unclenched his bloodied fists, his body practically vibrating with energy. Around the room, bits of glass littered the floor from a pile of broken picture frames that had been torn from the now hole-ridden walls.

“I mean, I’m, I’m a fuckin’ mess and I would fuckin’ ruin her— I mean ruin her—” Rafe rambled, his words barely coherent as he looked around the room erratically.

“Hey, Rafe—” Kelce started, Rafe immediately whipping around at the sound of his voice. His pupils were blown as he looked to Kelce, quickly darting to look at y/n, before his eyes returned to Kelce.

“What the fuck is she doing here?” Rafe snapped, taking a step towards Kelce, who backed away with his hands raised. “I told you not to fuckin’ bring her—”

Rafe lunged at Kelce, who was just barely able to step out of the way as Topper grabbed onto the back of Rafe’s shirt, pulling him back. Y/n gasped, pushing herself against the wall as the three boys grappled with each other. This wasn’t like their usual “fights”, where they’d playfully wrestle or slap at each other, this was intense. Violent. The way Rafe’s arms swung haphazardly, colliding with each bit of Kelce and Topper’s bodies as he frantically tried to free himself from their grips made y/n's stomach churn.

“Get your fucking hands off me!” Rafe yelled, shoving Kelce back, his body colliding with the wall inches away from y/n. Rafe quickly turned to Topper, grabbing him by the shirt.

“Hey! HEY!” Y/n screamed, moving to wedge herself between the two of them. Her hands clamored for grip on his forearms, attempting to pry his hands off of Topper. However, the amount of coke and adrenaline coursing through his body made her attempts useless.

“Y/n, don’t—” Topper started, but was cut off when Rafe shoved him away. Topper stumbled, colliding with Rafe’s desk before slowly getting to his feet. Rafe’s shoulders were rising and falling rapidly, sweat seeping through his shirt as he ran his hands through his hair. He grabbed a fistful, tugging at it harshly before slamming his fists against his head with a low groan. His heart was pounding, his breathing sharp as he continued hitting at his skull.

“Rafe, don’t—” Y/n tried to grab at his arms, but the second her hand touched his, he quickly jerked away as if she had burnt him with her touch.

“Get the fuck out of here, y/n!” Rafe shouted, closing his eyes tightly as he took in a sharp breath. “Y– you’re not supposed to be here, you need to fucking get out.”

Y/n looked around the room, Kelce and Topper looking at her with their eyes wide as Rafe began to rock back and forth on his heels.

“No, Rafe, I’m not—” Y/n said, taking another step towards Rafe. He stumbled back, escaping her reach as he hit his back against the wall.

“I said, get the fuck out!” Rafe screamed, slamming his fist into the wall. The collision echoed through the room, an eerie silence falling over them despite the still bustling party downstairs. Rafe closed his eyes tightly, running his bloodied hands down his face. The adrenaline coursing through his veins didn’t even allow for the stinging in his fists to register, the pain of the cuts reopening going ignored.

“I’m not leaving, Rafe.” Y/n said lowly, taking a step closer to Rafe. He opened his frantic eyes slowly, the fire within them beginning to die down as he met y/n’s gaze. She steeled herself, trying to slow her racing heart, despite the terror coursing through her veins at Rafe’s erratic state.

This state was different from anything she’d seen of him before, but it brought a chilling sense of deja vu and a mountain of memories that made her feel as if she was going to be sick. The sweat on his brow, the venom in his words, the pain in his voice… it all reminded her of something she’d seen him go through before. The thing she’d hoped Rafe would never have to go through, the very look in his eyes that she’d dread to notice in Rafe’s.

“Can you… can you please tell me what happened?” Y/n said, her voice steady. Rafe shook his head harshly, his jaw ticking and pupils blown.

“No, I don’t— I can’t— I’m fine.” Rafe stammered as he looked around the room. “Goddamnit, Kelc, I told you not to fuckin—”

“No, Rafe, you’re not fine.” Y/n snapped, her tone demanding his attention again. He flinched only slightly, but his eyes immediately locked firmly onto her stern gaze.

“I…” Rafe sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I just… I took some coke, a’ight? That’s it.”

“How much did you take?” Y/n asked.

“Jesus, I’m fine we don’t—” Rafe sighed.

“How much did you take, Rafe?” Y/n said sternly.

“I—” Rafe sighed, his eyes avoiding hers as he looked down, his fingers fiddling with the rings on his fingers. “I don’t know. I— I’ve just had a shit week and… Barry gave me this, like, special batch or something, ok? He said it was supposed to be stronger, but I just did my usual amount and I guess I just didn’t realize how much stronger it was until I’d already done too much…”

Y/n took in a deep, ragged breath, trying to calm her racing mind as she turned away from Rafe. Topper and Kelce remained on the opposite side of the room, their eyes wide as they watched the two of them.

“Get everyone out.” Y/n said simply. The two boys looked at eachother, a look of concern shared between them. Kelce stepped forward first, approaching y/n hesitantly. He grabbed her arm gently, lightly pulling her a step away from Rafe.

“Y/n, I don’t know if it’s a good idea for you to, y’know, be alone with him when he’s like this.” Kelce said lowly. Y/n looked over at Rafe as he muttered to himself, continuing to ring his hands out in front of him as he rocked back and forth.

“I’ll be fine.” Y/n whispered back. “I, um, I’ve done this before.”

Kelce’s brow furrowed, but sensing the anxiety in y/n’s tone he just nodded before exiting the room, Topper following behind him. With a shaky breath, y/n turned back to Rafe, whose eyes were on her once more. Once the door to Rafe’s room closed behind Topper and Kelce, Rafe cleared his breath as he pushed off the wall.

“What do you mean ‘you’ve done this before’?” Rafe asked as he took a step towards y/n. From this distance, he noticed the glistening in her eyes. She looked up at his flushed cheeks, her bottom lip trembling before she moved to sit at the end of his bed. Rafe followed her, standing in front of her, continually shifting his feet around as he itched at the raw skin of his hands. Y/n reached out, slapping his hand away.

“There’s… there’s something I didn’t tell you. About Cole.” Y/n said, her voice weak at the mention of her brother. 

Rafe knew y/n and her brother, Cole, were close. So much of their childhood and shared family dinners consisted of Rafe and Sarah playing with y/n and Cole, the four of them running around in the backyard together long before Wheezie was even born. So, when Cole suddenly passed, y/n was shattered. Rafe was there for her in the early days, giving her the best support he knew how to give… that was until his own mother passed. Unlike Cole, Rafe’s mother’s death was something that was expected. Inevitable. She was sick, but still, that didn’t make it any easier. So, he found himself turning to sex, alcohol, and drugs. The “every so often” party became every weekend, complete with benders that even seeped into the week. The occasional shared joint suddenly became multiple lines of coke and numerous hookups. His usual semi-polished lifestyle collapsed into whatever could numb the pain and anguish muddling his every waking moment… which was why he found himself here right now.

“W- what do you mean?” Rafe stammered, furrowing his brows. He knew he hadn’t been the most “available” when it came to talking to him the past few months, but the two of them told each other everything… right?

“He, um…” y/n’s voice quivered as she wrung her hands out in front of her. “He didn’t die from an… ‘underlying heart disease’ like my parents told everyone. Well, at least not entirely.”

Rafe chewed at his bottom lip, trying best to contain the rapid stream of questions and accusations flowing through his coke-addled brain.

“He… he overdosed, Rafe.” Y/n said finally. “He’d been doing drugs at parties, coming home high once in a while but… It was an accident— the drugs were laced with something but— it was still an overdose.”

Rafe felt his chest clench, whether from the rapid speed at which his heart was racing or the words that had left y/n’s mouth he wasn’t sure. Cole had been just like him, doing the occasional drugs at occasional parties, but never to the extent to which he could’ve been considered an addict. Nowhere near the extent of which Rafe was doing drugs now… and he had died.

“F– fuck.” Rafe inhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair. “Why didn’t you tell me before?”

Y/n sniffled, closing her eyes before speaking lightly, “my parents they… they were embarrassed. Embarrassed that this could’ve happened to– as they put it– ‘people like us’ and they wanted to keep it a secret… So I did.”

Rafe could feel his blood coursing through him, pounding loudly in his ears as he paced in front of her. He ran his hands along his jaw, muttering to himself as he tried to figure out just what y/n was telling him.

“I wanted to tell you, Rafe, I did.” Y/n said. “But then your mom passed and… I just didn’t want to make your pain any worse. I’m sorry. I– I should’ve told you before.”

“You’re right.” Rafe said, his tone sharp as he turned to face y/n. “You should’ve told me. Y’know how shitty that makes me feel, huh? Th– That this whole time you were going through that and I didn’t even know? That my best fuckin’ friend was going through this shit and I had no goddamn idea?”

“Rafe you were grieving I didn’t want to–” y/n began.

“No, y/n! Goddamnit!” Rafe snapped. “You were grieving too. Both of us were. But you… you shouldn’t have kept that to yourself. I– If I had known I would’ve…”

Y/n looked up at Rafe, her eyes red as she watched struggle in front of her. “If he had known he would've” what? Never depended on her like she was the only thing holding him together? Never put that pressure on her? Or he would’ve never gone out to all those stupid fucking parties? Getting high and drunk out of his mind then calling her to pick him up? After her brother had died doing the same thing, putting her through that? 

Maybe he was psychotic, evil, a failure, all those things people told him. Because if he was a good person, he would’ve known. He would’ve known she was hurting seeing him like that and never would’ve dug himself so deep he ended up where he was now: his chest aching from the pounding of his heart and the pain on y/n’s face.

“Rafe can you… please just sit down. Please.” Y/n pleaded, wiping her eyes as she looked up at Rafe as his hands grabbed at his chest. He took in strained breaths, his jaw trembling as he paced back and forth.

“I– I can’t fucking breathe.” Rafe gasped, a stinging feeling coming to his eyes. Y/n stood, a hand reaching out to grasp onto Rafe’s bicep.

“You need to calm your breathing—” Y/n said, moving to stand in front of him to stop him from his anxious pacing.

“I fucking can’t!” Rafe shouted, tears welling in his eyes as his chest continued to heave. “I– I should’ve known. I should’ve fucking known. Why didn’t I know?”

“Rafe, please,” y/n cried, grasping onto the front of his shirt as tears began to flow freely from Rafe’s eyes. His breaths were shuttered, his pacing finally slowing as he tried to focus on y/n.

“I should’ve known. I should’ve known, y/n, why didn’t I know?” Rafe muttered, his words becoming muddled as he continued to sob. His legs collapsed, sending him to his knees with a dull thud. He grasped onto her arms, pulling her against him. Y/n’s hands found his hair as he bunched the fabric on the back of her shirt in his hands, his head pressed into y/n’s stomach as he continued to mutter and sob.

She didn’t know how long she held him like that, allowing him to cry and scream until his breathing finally slowed, the high that had pushed his body to its limits finally giving out. Quietly, she led him to his bed, his tired body moving like a puppet under her touch.

“I’m sorry.” Rafe muttered before he finally succumbed to his exhaustion, falling into a deep sleep. Y/n brushed a bit of hair out of his eyes, taking in his peaceful state as she felt her eyes begin to water. 

So, while Rafe slept, y/n sobbed.

[00valentina-writes00]

Ambessa x depressed wife?

♡♥︎ Ambessa with a depressed wife ♥︎♡

♡ Ambessa is a woman of action, not words. She sees the weight pressing on you before you even say a thing. At first, she watches—gauging, assessing—before she decides how best to handle it.

♡ She does not pity you. Pity is for the weak, and you are not weak. You are hers. And if something is dragging you down, she will fix it.

♡ She is not the type to ask, “What’s wrong?” Instead, she studies you, pieces things together. The way you linger in bed longer, the way your appetite wanes, the way your usual spark dims—she notices it all.

♡ Ambessa does not tolerate inaction. If you struggle to get out of bed, she does not coax—you will feel her presence looming before she gives a single, firm command: “Up.” She will not drag you, but she will not let you waste away.

♡ She brings you food and watches you eat. She does not force you, but she does not leave until you have taken at least a few bites. If you refuse, she raises an eyebrow, unimpressed. “If you will not care for yourself, then I will do it for you. And you will not like my methods.”

♡ When you are too tired to leave your chambers, she does not push—that would be counterproductive. Instead, she ensures that your space remains orderly, warm, lived in. She will not let you disappear into the shadows.

♡ She reminds you of who you are—not with sweet words, but with cold, sharp truth. “You are my wife. The strongest woman I know. Do not insult me by acting otherwise.”

♡ If you cannot find the strength to tend to yourself, Ambessa will do it for you. She brushes your hair, dresses you in fine silks, and fastens your jewelry. But she is not gentle. There is no coddling, only firm hands and the unspoken message: You are not lost. You are still here.

♡ She takes you to war meetings, to social gatherings, to anywhere that reminds you of the world beyond your mind. She does not ask if you want to go—she expects you to.

♡ If anyone so much as implies that you are fragile, Ambessa’s gaze alone is enough to silence them. You are not weak, and she will break the jaw of anyone who suggests otherwise.

♡ She does not allow you to isolate. If you hide away, she will find you. If you do not speak, she will wait. If you are distant, she will pull you back.

♡ Ambessa speaks little of emotions, but her actions are unwavering. She places a hand at the small of your back when you hesitate. She stands beside you when you falter. She waits when you need time—but never too long.

♡ If you struggle with sleep, she does not press you about it. Instead, she sits beside you, sharpening her blade or reading while you toss and turn. You are never alone in the dark.

♡ She ensures that your needs are met, even when you don’t voice them. A warm bath waiting for you. A meal set aside, whether you eat it or not. A weighted fur draped over your shoulders when you sit by the window for too long.

♡ She does not believe in empty reassurances. If you confess your struggles, she listens in silence before saying, “Then we will handle it.” And she means it.

♡ Ambessa does not tolerate self-deprecation. The first time you call yourself a burden, her eyes darken, and her voice is low, steady, dangerous. “You will not speak of my wife that way. Ever.”

♡ She keeps you moving. If you cannot find purpose, she gives you one. A task, a responsibility, something to remind you that you are not aimless.

♡ She does not ask how you are feeling—she knows. But if she catches you struggling, she will place a firm hand on your shoulder and say, “Tell me what you need.” And when you do, she makes it happen.

♡ If you ever break down in front of her, Ambessa does not panic. She lets you feel it—lets you cry, rage, collapse under the weight. And then? She steadies you. Lifts your chin. And reminds you, “You will rise from this.”

♡ On the rare occasions she softens, it is in the quiet moments. When she brushes a thumb over your knuckles, when she pulls you against her without a word, when she lets out a breath and murmurs, “You are not alone.”

♡ She does not fix you. She does not try to fix you. Instead, she stands beside you as you navigate the storm. And she will not let you drown.

♡ If you ever admit that you feel unworthy of her, she laughs. A low, sharp sound. “You are my equal. My wife. Do not insult me with such foolishness.”

♡ When words fail, she stays. She sits beside you, a solid, unyielding presence, until you are ready to move again.

♡ If you disappear into your mind too much, she breaks the silence with a sharp, commanding, “Look at me.” And when you do, she holds your gaze until you remember who you are.

♡ When she pulls you into bed at night, it is not always out of affection—it is a command. “You will sleep.” And with her warmth pressed against you, you often do.

♡ She expects you to fight for yourself, but she knows some days are harder than others. On those days, she fights for you.

♡ Ambessa does not need to say I love you often. It is in every order, every push, every unrelenting expectation that you will not fall.

♡ And if you ever do? She will catch you.

[hyunjuenthusiast]

Im craving for angst , so girl can you write about Hyun ju x female reader

Basically Hyun ju and female reader have been dating for 1 and half year now, but things didn't went so well after attending squid game, Hyun ju gave young mi more attention , than she did for female reader so she distance herself from Hyun ju and her team, wondering why female reader ditched her. So female reader went to Gi Hun's team instead. And to make things worse not only Hyun ju voted O to continue the game, but Hyun ju lost the love of her life during the Mingle, ANND.. It took Hyun ju 2 to 4 business days to figure out that she hasn't been a good girlfriend ever since they came to squid game and Hyun ju Crashes out so badly.

(Female reader committed su!cide during Mingle, died instead of young mi and the shaman lady predicted female reader's death)

(And YES the guilt is definitely eating Hyun ju alive)

Sorry if this is too long

Take your time for this one

゜・（／。＼）・゜

Okayyyy complex, I like it! Hopefully I do this ask justice 🙏🏻

HER ANGEL

Pairing: Hyun-ju x femreader

Warnings: ANGST, depression, death, suicide, longing, survivors guilt.

Insecure. That was a word Y/n had always been familiar with. Ever since she was little. Her mother would criticize everything she did. If she ate too much, if she didn't eat enough. If her hair was down, if her hair was up. If she smiled, and if she didn't smile. Everything she did up until she was an adult was judged.

When she finally got the taste of freedom, moving out at the ripe age of eighteen, she discovered that the world was an ugly place. Nothing like how she fantasized how it would be. The books were wrong.

For the first few years after moving out, she was alone. Truly alone. She had no one. No friends to call late at night, no fuzzy kitten to cuddle when she had tears running down her face on a rainy day. No significant other who would whisper sweet nothings to her as she fell asleep... No one.

Not until she met her angel. Hyun-ju.

Everything had changed. For the first time in her life, Y/n felt like she deserved to take up space in the world. Hyun-ju made her feel wanted, loved. She erased every insecurity Y/n had. She loved every flaw and imperfection. She kissed her scars and wiped her tears.

Hyun-ju was her soul mate.

Y/n didn't care that her angel was different. She didn't care how people looked at them in public. Hyun-ju was perfect, in every way. Even if her angel couldn't see it for herself.

Hyun-ju told Y/n of her wishes for surgery. She had cried to Y/n about her debt and abandonment. And Y/n was there to comfort her in return, wiping her angels tears away and whispering promises.

So when a nice-looking man asked Y/n to play a game, showing her the money she would win, of course she agreed. For her angel, for Hyun-ju.

Y/n didn't need convincing to call the number on the back on the card. Once she saw Hyun-ju looking at herself in front of the mirror, her eyes filled with loathing, she dialed the number.

It was the least she could do. Hyun-ju had given Y/n her sense of self back. She had given Y/n her smile back. Of course, she would return the favor. Anything for her angel.

Waking up to the blasted music, she looked around to see other people. Waring the ugliest green she had ever seen. Looking down at herself, she saw her jacket was labeled 005.

She gathered around like everyone else. Waiting for an explanation. There were so many pink guards and even more players. They explained that they weren't trying to collect debt or cause any harm.

"Excuse me!" Said a voice. Not just any voice. Her angel's voice. Y/n quickly turned and saw Hyun-ju. Her Hyun-ju standing near a couple of bunks. She didn't catch what her angel said next, only focused on the fact that she was here.

Y/n winced as she saw Hyun-ju getting slapped. That was the day her angel had gone on a walk. She remembers her coming home, acting strange. Hyun-ju had met the salesman before Y/n did.

As all the players walked in single file lines up the colorful steps to get their pictures taken, Y/n looked around for Hyun-ju. Seeing her fixing her hair prettily, she smiles and quickly walks up to her. "Angel!" Y/n gushes.

Instead of greeting Y/n with a smile, Hyun-ju tenses. Asking her what she was doing here. "I know how much you need the money..." Y/n whispers softly, watching as Hyun-ju's eyes soften.

As they all walk into the first game, Hyun-ju holds Y/n's hand. "Don't separate from me, sweet girl. Okay?" Her angel asks softly. Y/n squeezes her hand in return.

"What is that?" Y/n asks, pointing to the giant doll like figure in the distance.

"Green light..."

Y/n quickly runs forward a few steps, then stops.

"Red light!" The doll waits, seeing if anyone would move.

The first to go was 196. Y/n stood, stiff as a board, the sound of people dying behind her. When the doll says green light, no one moves forward, but Hyun-ju reaches over and grips Y/n's hand.

Player 456 explains that they will die anyway if they don't cross the finish line in time, and so, she stays behind Hyun-ju, racing towards the finish line.

Once across, she watches in horror as her angel races back across to help player 456. This is the first and only time that Y/n has ever wanted to yell at Hyun-ju.

The second game is the six legged pentathlon. Her and Hyun-ju look around for more teammates. She notices Hyun-ju's fallen expression when people stare at her, and when they don't want to join because of her.

"Excuse me?" A timid voice says from behind the both of them. Y/n and Hyun-ju turn to see a small girl, obviously nervous. "W-Would you...like to team up with me?" She asks, looking at Hyun-ju first, then to Y/n.

Ever since then, Hyun-ju had been attached at the hip with Young-Mi. It was hard for Y/n not to notice, especially in a place like this. When she wanted comfort and reassurance from her angel, she would see that Hyun-ju was already comforting Young-Mi, that she was already whispering words of encouragement to her instead of Y/n.

But that was just who her angel was. She was kind to everyone, and Y/n had no right to take that away from Young-Mi. Y/n could clearly see how terrified the small girl was, and if Hyun-ju was her safe place, then who was Y/n to take that away from her?

That's was until Y/n heard it. What Hyun-ju was saying to Young-Mi.

"I won't let anything happen to you, sweet girl." Hyun-ju had said. Y/n felt her stomach drop. Sweet girl. That was Y/n's nickname. That was her word of endearment.

She decided to give them space. Joining player 456 and his team.

The third game was mingle.

As they all stood on the platform, Y/n watched as Hyun-ju held Young-Mi's hand, giving her soft smiles. Y/n felt horrible for feeling envious. Would she always be cursed to be this insecure? Would she ever feel content with anything?

"TEN"

The voice said. Everyone scrambled to find their groups and rooms. So far, their team had nine after joining Hyun-ju. Until her angel grabbed the crazy shaman lady.

Running into the green room, Y/n pants, not even bothering to look at her angel holding onto another woman. Hyun-ju gives her a confused look, wondering why she had left their group.

"Your heavy sorrow will swallow you whole." The crazy lady says, making everyone look at her. Y/n shrinks into herself as she realizes that she's talking to her. "You won't last much longer, I'm afraid. Pity. You have the purest birthstone."

"SIX" the voice says.

Gi-hun and Young-il had split from the group, leaving Y/n no other choice but to join Hyun-ju.

They all run to a yellow door, freezing in their tracks as they see a group is already in there. Hyun-ju races to find a different one.

She found one.

Y/n starts to run towards it with the other people in her group, but when she sees player 333 running towards it too, she slows down.

Looking over at her angel, she sees her clutching Young-Mi's hand.

The pregnant girl holds her belly.

The mother and sun cling to each other.

Where did Y/n fit into that? She didn't.

She has seen Jun-hee talking to player 333 on several occasions...

She needed him, more than any of them needed Y/n.

She made her decision then.

As player 333 races into the room, she finally hears Hyun-ju calling for her. Her angel was trying to get 333 out of the way.

Y/n walks to the door, looking into the small slit. "Y/n, what the hell are you doing? Go find a room! Go!" Hyun-ju shouts. Y/n only shakes her head softly.

"Ita okay angel." She whispers, putting her hands onto the door. Hyun-ju is starting to panic. The timer still had thirteen seconds on it. "I know there's no place for me here. Not now." Y/n says, tearing up.

Hyun-ju continues to shout, begging Y/n to go find a room. "You made me feel so inside the lines, Hyun-ju. Like I wasn't a lost shade outside of the pretty design. I could actually fit inside the art." Y/n says with a sad smile.

"I never thanked you for that." She says. "Thank you for showing me. For guiding me to see who I was for the first time."

Nine seconds on the timer.

"I know you'll be happy. You'll make it out of here and live the life you've always dreamed of...live the life you've always deserved. A life, with Young-Mi." Y/n's lip quivers.

Four seconds on the timer.

Hyun-ju starts shaking the door, sobbing and yelling. "I love you, my angel." She whispers tearfully, letting out a pained breath as she feels the bullet peirce her back.

"NO! Y/N!"

Player 333 had left that room beaten to a bloody pulp.

At first, Young-Mi's hand doesn't feel out of place instead of her own, not for the next two games.

Until Y/n's words repeat instead of her head.

A life...with Young-Mi.

Once she realizes it, she drops Young-Mi's hand as if it had burned her. She had been holding the wrong woman. Comforting the wrong woman. Calling her...

She had called the wrong woman sweet girl.

Hyun-ju looks over to Young-Mi, a tear falling. She had made the love of her life question her love.

She had been at fault for her sweet girl's death. Not 333. Not even the guards. Hyun-ju was the reason.

"Don't worry. You'll be seeing her again, " the shaman says. "A lot sooner than you think."

For the next game... was human chess.

I'm scared.... what do we think?

[2-old-to-guard]

Sebastien, Booker, Le Livre

Alright then, let us begin with the sad french one!

*Disclaimer* - this is a long post, buckle up before reading

First Impression:

The first time we see Booker, he's riding a motocyle. Firstly, this serves as a cool visual. But also... all he's wearing on the bike is jeans, a short sleeved shirt and no helmet whilst swerving through the streets. We immedietly see that he's not too concerened about dying which could be foreshadowing his depression.

The second thing we learn about "The book" is that he likes to collect book, badum tish, when Andy gives him a "first edition Don Quixote". This mostly foreshadows Andy's fate (as will be explained in her analysis) but it also shows Booker's rather dismissive attitude towards life. A deleted scene shows Booker using scratch cards. This combined with his alcoholism and his expensive book collection, he uses habits like this to make him feel something.

Relationships:

Unlike Andy with Joe or Nicky, Booker and her don't hug until the Gousanville ambush. They just walk side by side and Andy gives him the book. This makes me believe that Booker doesn't respond to touched whilst Andy seems to rely on touch.

Booker and Nicky seem to have a playful rilvary though there isn't much to work with, they have very little scenes and the ones I can find are mostly about Nicky. But this scene does make me laugh as Booker is clearly enjoying annoying Nicky. It adds complexity to Booker as he clearly has strong connections with the other immortals and clearly loves them.

As I've talked about before, Joe and Booker is the most affectionate of Booker's relationship. Joe celebrates Booker's success in the bet and Booker turns to Joe when celebrating. Further explanation can be find here.

Foreshadowing Betrayal:

Watching the movie multiple times, I became intrigued on the ways they foreshadows his betrayel, focusing on the Sudan Mission.

Firstly, when Andy, Joe and Nicky are reuniting, Booker turns away from the affection. This, combined with "It's a job" cutting the playfull moment short, he's possibly trying to alienate himself from his family as he knows what he's about to do. You can also see something is wrong based on the look Copley gives him after Andy accepts the mission.

During the mission, Booker is the only one who doesn't react to the ambush. He frowns a little but otherwise doesn't appear surprised (gee I wonder why).

After the mission, he's mostly on damage control. Claiming he 'checked' Copley is clearly meant to foreshadow that Booker is on it.

When Nile is discovered, he's the only one who doesn't want to find her. This, while hinting to his betrayal, also shows his complexity. He doesn't want to subject Nile to experiments and so doesn't want to find her.

The Dreams:

Each of the immortals focus on different things from the dreams that show a part of their character.

As the youngest memeber of the group, he cannot see most of the dream and has little to contribute. Furthermore, the only thing he knows for certain is that he "felt her die". This shows Booker's focus on death.

In Nile's dream, all she sees of Booker is him drinking. Make of that what you will.

The Dinner Scene:

Booker's comment is met with laughter from Joe insted of concern. This clearly shows that his nilahism isn't a recent development and is seen as something endearing about his personality. Also justifys why the immortals didn't suspect his betrayel. He's not acting any different than usual. This almost serves as a metaphor for depression as there are usually little signs of people's depression worsening as they are trying to pretend.

I think it's interesting that Booker refers to his death like this. In the comics, Booker tries to desert the Napoleonic War and is hanged for his treason. I wonder if it was meant to be "fighting WITH Napoleon" and if this will be explored in the sequel. This desertion is integral to his character as it shows he wasn't meant to be a warrior and had no wish to fight, which adds another layer of tragedy to him being an eternal fighter.

These small moments, combined with Joe's chuckle earlier, implicity shows the relationship between the three men even though they don't have many scenes together. Booker laughs at Nicky's joke and looks to Joe after Quynh is brought up. He doesn't hate the couple, even though he holds a little bitterness, but he had become some consumed with his greif and sorrow that he doesn't consider what they would want and is willing to sacrifice them to achieve mortality.

This line foreshadows Booker's backstory and shows that he does care about Nile as he wants to protect her from pain.

The Goussainville Ambush:

Straight away, Copley not capturing Booker is suspicious. When you first watch it, you think it's just because he looks dead and the mercenaries don't know he's immortal. But when you rewatch, it's clear this was a plan to ensure that Andy was also captured.

Fan fact, this is the first time Andy and Booker touch and it is driven but the intense emotion of 'oh my god is Booker dead'. It is also directly follows an act of violence (Andy slapping Booker) which is an intresting choice.

This subtle acting choice is really interesting to me. Matthias seems to almost answer Andy's question before remembering that he's ✨betraying her✨ and then goes back to being 'clueless'.

Booker and Nile:

I think it's really sweet that Booker tries to comfort Nile while there's a hole in his chest. It's also incredibley ironic given how much Booker hates immortality. While some people ship the duo, I think it is more of a paternal realationship. It's unique to have the grieving character, especially a man, to be grieving children insted of a partner. Building Nile and Booker's relationship on this ground makes it feel more paternal than romantic to me.

Booker telling Nile his backstory comes in a really organic way, with him trying to convince her not to see her family. This is the first time in the movie that Booker's cynicism is recognised by the script as a bad thing. Up until this point, it's been just a character quirk but they give him the space to fully show the weight of immortality on Booker. Also Matthias slays this scene, ate and left no crumbs.

The Betrayel:

I could do a full analysis on this scene but I'll summerise here:

Andy holds such trust in Booker that she doesn't doubt he would've warned her about anyone arriving therefore, the only person who could be behind her is him. When Andy calls for Booker, he responds instantly with:

Shooting her in the back is such a gut punch, specifically for Andy. He knew he could get away with it because she trusts him so much.

This is the first time in the movie that Booker initiates physical contact with anyone and again, its an act of violence.

This line of dialogue is so beautifully tragic. It puts Booker's despair on full display. He's willing to make a deal with the devil so he's allowed to go to hell. It is also double sided as, of course, Andy is now mortal. But it also holds a level of deceit beacause if Andy wanted to be mortal then why did he feel the need to lie to her and set this up. Surely if she wanted it, she'd agree to the testing. Overall, Booker has allowed his greif to consume him and convince him to do anything to achieve mortality.

Despite that, when he realises that she is mortal, he immedietly tries to save her from the experiments that would kill her. It sort of shocks him into thinking, somewhat, clearly. But by then it's too late. Booker is a really good tragic character and follows the conventions well. He wants to be mortal so he lies, cheats and hurts his family. When he gets what he wants, another twist means that his goal is not what he wants anymore but by then it's too late.

The Lab:

This line is yet another example of Booker's irony. He seemingly forgets that Joe and Nicky KILLED each other when they first met, and for many years afterwards. It took them many years, possibly more than Booker's been alive, to find love. Furthermore, they now have to live and love with the knowledge they will eventually die at seemingly random. Booker combines cynicism with naivity as he is the young member of the group and therefore, doesn't view time as they do. Whilst they have lived long, he fears to.

However, Booker knows he made a mistake and wants to pay for it. At first, he wants to stay in the lab and suffer. But this is most likely guided by his depression as staying in the lab could result in his mortality. Subtly, he's still trying to die. But Andy, maybe seeing through this, shares her newfound mentality and he, feeling guilty, strives to help her.

Now Andy has expressed a desire to live, he honors that and helps her achieve that.

The Final Battle:

Knowing his mistake, Booker puts his all into helping the others.

I like the detail of him using military techniques with Nile (tapping her shoulder to let her know it's clear). It a subtle moment of him showing care for people with actions.

Also, this clip of Booker covering Joe and Nicky almost like he's trying to attone for his actions.

Second to Nicky, Booker runs over to Nile and helps her out of the car. This works as the penultimate climax to their relationship. Instead of just telling Nile to give up on her family, he offers her a new one. Also the expression he gives Andy as she approaches.

Banishment:

Booker's banishement is one of the most controversial parts of the movie but it works fully for me. Of course Joe and Nicky don't want to be around Booker for a while, he betrayed them in the worst possible way (which I'll delve into in their sections). As displayed throughout the movie, they trusted him completley and he hurt them. He knows this and I think that's why he says:

It's almost like wishful thinking. The looks between Joe and Booker break my heart as Marwan and Matthias are so easily able to convey the hurt and anger of Joe and the regret and acceptance from Booker.

This entire scene is heartbreaking tbh. This is the first moment of contact between Andy and Booker that doesn't end in violence. I think this is meant to symbolise the ways they have accepted their immortality or mortality respectively. Also, as Booker doesn't seem to like physical contact, having him initiate a hug almost appears to be him trying to comfort Andy about their new relationship.

Conclusion:

Booker is a really complicated character that is full of contridictions and stupidity but he's a unique part of the characters and adds most of the sorrow of the immortals. He serves to show the toll of immortality in the present insted of just showing it in the past.

All in all, I love the sad little French man and I'm glad he'll be back with the main cast in the sequel. Also Matthias Schoenaerts ate and left no crumbs

[salesmain]

Last week was hard because we lost our first offer. By SO much. It was super discouraging. But I'm trying to stay positive. I saw eight homes this weekend and a possible home we might offer on, so that's good I guess.

I went to several open houses yesterday. All the realtors were really kind and so happy to chat with me because I was the only one there. The homes were empty because of the Superbowl and it was just a lovely day :)

I saw the house of a failed musician, who turned the garage into a recording studio, and then (kinda) back into a garage. There was a bizarre hole in a wall that led to a child's room. And a closet that had another hole and went to another secret room. And also a random (working) toilet in another, but no sink or anything.

Another house I went to belonged to a hoarder. It was a beautiful little cottage built in the 1930s with original windows and this really charming fireplace. It was completely empty of stuff but still smelled disgusting and all its floors were stained. It was really depressing to see. It had zero appliances except for a giant hot tub in the backyard (which isn't an appliance but the place didn't even have a fridge or stove or anything else).

And I also went to one house that was meticulously renovated. The sellers are going through a (bitter?) divorce and just want their house sold and gone. They bought it a decade ago together and put so much obvious love into their home... The agent there was whispering this stuff to me like it was a big secret because she's not supposed to tell buyers this (as you might not bid as high when you know they're desperate to sell) but she seemed to really like talking to me so she was just gossiping away lmao.

Anyway it's really interesting to find out the stories of the people and their homes. Not all the realtors will tell you but since it was so empty this weekend I think they were all bored haha

[nethhiri]

Chapter 66: Wa-no! Let's Go!

Warnings: Violence

Kid's breathing was ragged as he leaned against the cold stone wall for support. Every breath was fire in his lungs. Several ribs were broken, he was sure of it. More than several. This was the first time he remained conscious for an extended period of time. He was in seastone restraints and he had been beaten to hell and back by Kaido. He had a concussion, part of the reason he couldn't stay conscious for long. His face was swollen and bleeding. He could barely see, the swelling around his eyes was so bad. Even if he could see, it would be in doubles. His throat was raw from screaming. Some of the screaming had been from pain, but most of it was hurling insults at Kaido, earning him more beatings. When they came to move him to a permanent cell, he could scarcely stand on his own. At least this would spare him more beatings from Kaido. The guards were like ants compared to him. 

The first week at Udon prison was miserable. Kid worked through the pain of recovery, moving giant slabs of rock. He used the opportunity to scout the prison out. He didn't see a single member of his crew there with him. His heart dropped to the pit of his stomach. What if Kaido had punished them for his actions as well? What if he was the only one left? His thoughts turned to you. Were you okay? Did Kaido find you along with the rest of his crew or were you able to escape his wrath? Part of Kid wanted you to stay away if you had survived. He didn't want to endanger the remaining crew he had left. He would find a way out of here and find the rest of his crew. They would escape this place somehow and find you. 

The other part of him wanted you to come rescue them. He wanted you to come find Killer and Heat and Wire, along with everyone else, since he couldn't. Especially as the weeks dragged on. He dreamt about you coming to break him out. Sometimes it was Killer. Sometimes he dreamt that you and Killer were brought here with him. Even that made his imprisonment more tolerable. It was being alone that was the worst part, or so he thought. It turned out the only thing worse than being beaten, starving, alone, and depressed was being kept in the same cell as Straw Hat. 

"Jaggy! Why do you look so sad?"

"I'm not sad!"

"You're frowning though."

"BECAUSE YER BOTHERING ME."

"But you were frowning before I was bothering you."

The guard outside slammed his weapon against the bars to get their attention. "You two, shut up."

"SUCK MY FAT COCK SINCE MY GIRL AIN'T HERE TO DO IT FOR ME."

"If your girl was here, she wouldn't be sucking your cock. But I'd be happy to give her some adult entertainment," the guard sneered. 

Before he knew what happened, Kid's hand was wrapped around his throat. The bars were just wide enough and the guard was just close enough to be within Kid's grasp. He was nowhere near as beaten down as he had been after Kaido. The wardens were unwise to test him.  

"I'd reconsider. The last man who tried that lost his manhood." Kid snapped his teeth together for emphasis. 

Kid squeezed until he felt something snap under his grip and he felt the man go limp. He released the guard into a crumpled pile on the ground and spit on him. 

"Aw, Jaggy, you didn't have to kill him," Straw Hat said. 

"Anyone who threatens my crew deserves to die, that goes double for my partners."

"What's your girl look like? Maybe I've seen her."

"Wouldn't ya like to know..." Kid scoffed. After a few moments, he decided to answer, just in case Straw Hat had seen you. It would be a relief to know. "She's got a glare that would melt yer face and eyes brighter than molten metal. Her face is marked by scars that dance with her freckles. The right side has been touched by acid in such a shape that it matches my hand when I hold her cheek. She ain't big, but she's got a commanding presence that forces men to their knees. Her legs go on forever and ya would thank her for choking ya to death with her strong thighs. Her tits are so perfect they make ya wanna build a temple justa worship them and an ass so plump if ya used it as yer pillow, all yer dreams would surely come true. When she fights, her fury is like a hundred angry vipers and she strikes like them too. Even her insults tempt ya to be impaled on that sharp tongue of hers. She's perfect."

The sound of Luffy's snores filled the cell.

"SOME FUCKIN HELP YA ARE."

Kid was annoyed, but talking about you so passionately made him miss you more. It also made him semi-hard. He wanted so badly to have you in his arms, to feel you scratch his back and bite his neck. He wanted to feel your thighs around him, begging him to fuck you deeper. He wanted to feel your soft lips against his own. He may as well use the limited privacy to relieve himself of his pent up libido before they replaced the dead guard or Luffy woke up. Kid drew your likeness in the dirt on the floor, trying to remember the dreams he had where you were bouncing on him or under him. A visual aid would be more stimulating than nothing, even if it was a stick figure with boobs. Then, he noticed something sticking out of the dead guard's pocket. He crawled to the bars and reached through, barely grazing the papers with his fingers.  He managed to tug them free without ripping them and he was rewarded for his careful extraction with wanted posters, wanted posters that happened to display the objects of his affection. Neither of them displayed you in the way he knew, though he would recognize Killer's and your face anywhere. His immediate reaction was giddiness, because this would be way better material than a dirt drawing. In his post-nut clarity, when his brain was functioning, he was relieved you were both alive, and he wondered why the fuck you both had wanted posters. What did you do? What did Killer do? 

The closer you got to Wano, the rougher the seas got. Seawater crashed over the sides of the ship, drenching everything. You had to maintain a protective shield of compressed air with your devil fruit in order to stay dry. Given the circumstances, your crew performed well. The women from the Snake Den picked up sailing without much trouble. The Kid Pirates followed your orders without question or complaint. You had been nervous due to your past experiences, but there was no need to be. Kid's crew respected you and loved you. For Kid to ask you to be a fleet captain, he knew they did. 

Through the spray of salt water, Wano slowly but surely became visible. Goldie directed you toward the entrance to the country. At first, you didn't believe her, that it was behind a waterfall, not until you actually went through it. Before that, you disguised the ship according to Goldie's sketches of a traditional Wanese vessel. Lucky for everyone, she was a decent artist. When you sailed through the entrance, you approached the dock slowly, using your eye's enhanced vision to observe the clothing of the general public. With your fruit, you had everyone in clothing that would blend them into the population without a problem. 

This was it. You made it to Wano. Now, you had to rescue the Kid Pirates. The plan was simple: gather as much information as possible, find out where your captain and the crew were being held, and free them. Jade and her girls were ready to take on the brothels. The rest of you were to scatter across the land and keep your ears open. The plan was to stay out of trouble. What good would it be to stir something up and get captured too? The plan was to work fast. Much like the rest of your life, nothing went according to plan.

First, the clothes annoyed you. Why did no one wear pants? You hated the openness of the kimono-type clothing. You didn't even make it a day before you were tailoring the garment to have pants. The shoes were annoying too. Altering the cloppy, unstable, wooden sandals, you turned them into plain flats. Sandals were going to fly off your feet if you fought someone or fall off when you rode Mini. Second, it took a lot longer to find useful information than you thought. Maybe you had gotten too used to the instant gratification that torturing information out of people brought you. It had beens days of wandering through towns. None of the native residents would talk to you. They were all too wary. Contrary to that, several times you had been questioned by who you now knew as Beast Pirates, some fucked up animal hybrids with busted smiles. How it pained you to behave. That didn't last long. After a week, you decided enough was enough. Yes, you did say you would stay out of trouble, and you made a valiant effort, but you were impatient. You had previously thought that getting captured would prove antithetical to the mission. It was possible that getting captured would take you right to the top, the person that knew where all your friends were. If you could avoid being put in seastone, you may yet get to torture information out of someone. 

Riding atop Mini, you traveled through several rural villages. Your gunblade was kept hidden under a colorful haori that hung over your shoulders, tucked into the sash around your waist. You had kept it hidden, as it was obviously foreign. By the way the townspeople seemed to avoid the Beast Pirates, and how you had seen them interact, it was clear they were the ones keeping everyone in line. There were also clearly corrupt town officials, made fairly obvious by disparities between the townsfolk's shacks and the elaborate compound the official lived in. As much as you would have liked to kill them all, you had to keep some alive so they could identify you to their superiors. It took a while to come across your prey. You finally crossed paths with some of the Beast Pirates, who were busy harassing villagers. Now, you weren't a good guy or a hero. Some may see you that way, but it was only coincidence that your personal goals induced actions that brought those accolades. That being said, you shot one of the Beast Pirates in the head and the other one non-fatally. You rode by slowly, letting the surviving pirate get a good look at your face before spurring Mini on to the next town. They were too in shock to retaliate before you were out of sight.

Mini's hooves pounded the ground, flying through different villages. A few times, Beast Pirates came after you, each time, you put them down. They increased in strength over time, so they must have been taking you seriously. You managed to overhear some things as you traveled. The shogun of Wano was called Orochi and he was in the Flower Capital. That was where the most well-off of the population lived. You also learned he was in league with the Beast Pirates and Kaido. He was the reason the people in the outskirts of the capital were destitute and also the reason they all wore fake smiles. Orochi would know where your crew was, so Orochi would be your target. Maybe you didn't even need to get caught, you could find him now that you knew who he was. That worked out better. Taking action yourself was faster than waiting to be taken to him, and that wasn't even guaranteed. With this new direction in mind, you steered Mini toward the capital. This time, when anyone stood in your path, you didn't even bother to dismount the boar, letting her run straight through them or shooting them dead and using their corpse as a springboard. You didn't need to put on a show for anyone now that you had a name and a location. Hunting people down and killing them was kind of your thing. 

Judging from the way the buildings increased in number and quality, the distant glow of lights, and the increasing amount of people, you were getting closer to the capital. It was late. The only souls awake were yourself and Minerva. You could hear a stream somewhere behind the main row of houses. The moon was the main source of light as you dismounted the boar and wove through the brush to get to it. You dropped to your knees, eager to wash the dust of the road from your mouth and face. The water was freezing, probably coming from mountain snow melt, but it felt good against your skin. You had scarcely stopped to take care of yourself or eat since you started this mission. You drank from your cupped hand, nearly choking on the acrid taste of the water. You spit the taste out of your mouth. It was tainted somehow. When you opened your eyes, the moonlight on the water's surface reflected a figure behind you. There was a cold, sharp edge pressed against your throat, forcing you to stand to your feet as it pulled against the skin.

You didn't sense them at all. Mini didn't alert either. An eerie laugh rang out from behind you, sending a chill up your spine. In one motion, you ducked backwards to get the blade off your neck and pulled your own weapon from your waist. With quick reflexes, the assailant dodged or deflected every shot you sent in their direction. The figure laughed once more, tightening their grip on their weapons. You frowned. No one that had been sent after you so far had been even close to dodging anything. You hardly had time to think on it. Two scythes slashed at the space you had just been standing in. Finally, you were given a challenge. 

The man, as you had figured out, was very agile. Your bullets were fast, but he was faster. It was like he knew what you were going to do before you did it. Contrary to that, his attacks were random, haphazard, and hard to predict. You felt yourself on the defense more than offense. He caught you off-guard, kicking you in the side instead of using his scythes. You were thrown into a tree, slamming your back into the trunk. The moment of incredible pain delayed your reflexes, and his foot was in the center of your chest, pinning you to the trunk. He leaned his entire weight into you, slowly squeezing the air from your lungs. Glowing yellow roots sprung up from the ground and constricted around him, pulling him off you and immobilizing him. The brief glow illuminated bandages around his face, a haori with colorful dots on it, and hair in a high ponytail. He wasn't in the same uniform as the other Beast Pirates. You rubbed your chest where he had pinned you and caught your breath. The man struggled and laughed in the confines of the vegetation, partially breaking out until you had restrained him further. 

"You're not a Beast Pirate."

"Fa fa fa! You've caused Master Orochi a lot of trouble, boar rider." The man's voice seemed familiar.

"Take me to him. I just want to talk." 

"It will be hard to talk when you're dead. Fa fa fa!" 

"I'm worth more alive," you countered.

"I'll be the judge of that." 

The man flexed, causing the roots trapping him to snap and break until he was free. He came at you again with the scythes. The roots weren't enhanced at all, still you were a bit surprised that he shrugged them off that easily. The gunblade was hard to use against his weapons, so you instead transformed your bracer into a spear. It was easier to block with that. No matter how hard you brought your weapon down on him, he barely budged. He blocked everything without much effort. On the other hand, when he attacked you, you were pushed back by the sheer force of his hits. If he kept at it, you were going to tire fast. You started dodging instead, making him chase you. Neither of you paid any attention to your surroundings, fighting in the open and sending the very few people that were out at this hour into hiding. 

Every strike of his scythes was jarring. He didn't let up either. Strike after strike, he kept coming after you, not giving you an opportunity to hit back. It was pissing you off. You came back at him hard, but he seemed to brush off your attacks, only enraging you further. With your next attack, he waited for you to be in a vulnerable stance before using the butt of his scythe to knock you off balance. Then he kicked you backwards, knocking the air out of your lungs, as you flew through the walls of a house and slammed into the ground. You didn't have time to be dazed, but it was hard to push yourself up when the world was spinning. You managed to roll onto your back a second before a scythe was being plunged into your chest. Immediately you were drowning in your own blood. There was a burning in your right side as your lung deflated around the sharp metal tip embedded in it. There was a tug, pulling you from the ground for a moment before your body slid off the man's scythe and thumped back to the ground. An excruciating pain radiated from the wound. Out of instinct, your hand covered the spot, feeling how much blood was soaked into your clothes. You coughed blood out of your mouth, a reciprocal spray coming from the opening to your chest cavity. 

The man stood over you, watching you bleed out before his eyes. Of course you wouldn't give him the satisfaction. A yellow light emanated from your chest as the hole closed. You took a deep breath in, getting the air that you were in desperate need of. Lashing out with your hand, you grabbed his ankle and used your fruit to paralyze him. The man wobbled and fell on top of you. You flipped him underneath you, straddling his chest. You looked down at him and the bandages on his face. They weren't covering any wounds. They were simply serving to cover his face, hide his identity. You released the paralysis from his head so he could speak, at the same time sliding your hand under the bandages of his face, ripping them off one strip at a time. 

"Fa fa fa! Maybe you are worth something."

Blood still dripped from your mouth and landed on the man's face. "Worth more than you, it seems." Pointedly, you ripped off another bandage. 

"Perhaps. Master Orochi may have use for you. He may let you live if you serve him."

This was an option you hadn't considered. You could infiltrate them from the inside. As much as you wanted to torture information about Kid and Killer's whereabouts from him, it may be unwise to torture the shogun. You would have every Beast Pirate and samurai in the country on your tail. But if you worked for him, maybe the same way this man did, you might gain free access to this information. 

"I'll let you move again if you bring me to him."

"Fa fa fa! I can't do that," The man's eyes narrowed slightly.

"Why not?"

"If I bring you alive, he may kill me. Fa fa fa!"

"One of us has to die then." You contemplated it and then smiled, "I'll gamble mine if you gamble yours." 

"Fa fa fa! I like you, boar rider. I hope you live."

Ripping through the last bandages, you froze. The moon was not bright enough to illuminate the blue of his eyes, and you were hardly paying attention to the familiar blonde of his ponytail. Those features should have been enough. The thing that was keeping you from recognizing him, was that you had never seen him with a smile so big, and you had never heard him belt out a laugh like that. Now you could see the man in front of you. It was Killer. You could see that it was him, but you still did not recognize him. Something was wrong. This was not him. It was obvious he didn't recognize you in the slightest. Still, tears pooled in your eyes. He was alive. He may not be himself, but at least he was alive.

Tag list: @bbnbhm @wgwingguns @nocturnalrorobin @lycanthropemaul

[7drinklimit]

Seriously - he was a better guardian/parental figure to her than her own mother in that regard. He only ever chose her, even though he liked Peeta better, he understood Katniss. He trusted her and he was there for her, time and again.

Katniss' mother on the other hand - she abandoned Katniss before we even knew her. It's one of the first things we learn about her, apart from the fact that she comes from the merchant district and "was very beautiful once". Through the first novel - in the first few pages - Katniss tells us how her mother sank into her grief so fully that she could not be there for her children.

...all I can see is the woman who sat by, blank and unreachable, while her children turned to skin and bones.

True, Mrs Everdeen seemed to be having a character arc - in the second book, she is always helping Katniss with whatever she can, tending her injuries, and covering for her when the Peacekeepers are trying to catch her outside the fence. Then in D13, she is the one Katniss trusts to look over her prep team, and finally, she helps to nurse Katniss back to health after Prim's death. But at the end Katniss ends up en route to D12, with only Haymitch as her guardian, and she (and the readers) realise that her mother has abandoned her again.

Then I realise what it means. "My mother's not coming back." "No," he says. ... "You know why she can't come back." Yes, I know why. Between my father and Prim and the ashes, the place is too painful to bear. But apparently not for me.

Katniss' mother only technically abandons her daughter twice, but both of those times are at the most painful stages of her life, when she needs her mother the most. After losing her father, Katniss is only 11 years old. She and Prim quite literally need an adult to survive. By abandoning them then, Mrs Everdeen almost killed her children. After losing Prim, Katniss is suicidal - she repeatedly tries to end her own life after killing Coin, and she sinks into such a deep depression after returning to D12 that if not for Greasy Sae looking after her, she would have died. D12 was "too painful" for Mrs Everdeen to live in any longer, but Katniss was expected to bear it, and her mother did not think to be there to help her. Katniss was shipped back to D12, she didn't have a choice. Her mother did have a choice, and she chose to leave - again.

Katniss' mother goes through a character arc in terms of her relationship with her daughter, only to end up right back at the beginning, abandoning her. Sure they can communicate over the phone now, but She. Still. Left.

That's why Haymitch choosing Katniss over and over again is so important. She needed someone who trusted her and was there for her, and despite his imperfections and his alcoholism and his grumpiness, he was there.

haymitch not being being loyal to anyone other than katniss will always bring tears to my eyes

[ollieollieoxenfree-483]

One of my favorite things about being alive (still being alive, continuing to live) is how much love my mother has for me.

I've been sick for the past few days; shivers, cold flashes, a migraine, bad sinuses, a fever, etc.

I had to drive home from work with those symptoms at 10:30 to 11:00 at night, and both of my parents stayed up for me (I told them before when I was on break that I wasn't feeling good). My mom suggested that I take a shower to cool down (I had a fever of over 100 at this point).

Then next morning (as in today, when I am writing this) she offered to go to the store for me (she asked what I wanted (a can of tomato soup and some Gatorade), and I thought she was going to get me one of each. She got me 2 cans of tomato soup, 2 bottles of Gatorade (the big 29 oz ones), and both DayQuil and NyQuil (as we only had NyQuil).

I've been sleeping the majority of the day (I napped for almost 5 hours, which I have never done before) and since today is Mother's Day, my stepdad made her a cake. I gave her a card and cherry twizzler bites (as she loves red candy), and had a very small slice of cake. (I'm also planning on taking her on a mother-daughter date, like we used to do)

I might be feeling shitty but I will always take time to let my momma know how much I appreciate what she does and how much I love her, especially today.

[turnleft]

do you ever think about how in journey’s end donna thought she had nothing else to live for, but in the star beast she had something (someone) to die for

[grandmaestershibe]

family picture

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

i gave you a life

[widevibratobitch]

aaaaaaand it's starting. mom's bestie just texted me asking to come over this weekend cause it's Bad and it's probably the last chance to talk and maybe say goodbye to my mom's husband and i need to take care of her. god. i wont get through this weekend unless im high or drunk istg.

[theood]

Getting really tired how every time I mention talking to someone new my mom's like "omg lol! Move in with them! Lol! Have you thought about moving in with them? Lol? Will they take you? Lol. We're so tired of you complaining lol can you just move in with them? Lol!"

Like. Wow! I never fucking thought of that one! Damn mom! Wow!!!! Revolutionary.

It's so fucking annoying because if I COULD actually move out don't you think I would have done it now? Hell. I'd be towns away if I could. Anything to get out of this fucking house. Away from your parents. Away from the constant walking on eggshells I'm doing. Away from feeling like the only way I'll be safe is by ripping myself open until I'm raw and used. But I CAN'T.

And every fucking time like clockwork it's "oh move in with x lol!"

[glittertimes]

As a 24 year old I’m kind of over drinking culture. The last time I really drank it took me a week to recover from it loll, I’ve been getting really dizzy since a covid infection 2 years ago, and I had a really bad flare-up a month ago after celebrating a friends birthday.

But even before that I drank pretty minimally and I didn’t like how my friends put the responsibility of caring for them on me when they put themselves in harmful situations. I’m always going to be there for my friends, but it takes a toll caring for people and watching them not have that same care for themselves.

And then it’s funny and normalized when people drink all the time.

[tonycries]

FIRST masterlist! This masterlist has all my writing from 06/02/24 up until 01/10/24 — for my recent works click on my SECOND MASTERLIST <3

Men In Uniform Do It Best!

Dirty Lil' Secrets

A Picture Lasts Long (But Not As Long As That D*ck)

I'm Addicted, I Admit It!

Give Me Tough Love

Never Ever Seen This Before!

We Don't Have No Babies!

Like A Fever

Bad Things (To You)

Prettier When Messy!

Care For You!

Green-eyed Monster

So Lonely In My Mansion!

Kiss Me More!

Girl, I Do This Often

Cause, I Love Freaks!

Sl*t Me Out!

Match My Freak!

WAP!

R U Mine?

Hot To Go!

Girl, You Earned It!

I'm A BIG Stepper!

BODY-ODY!

SOOO ANXIOUS

Long Overdue!

THIS P*SSY DEPRESSED!

The Family Matter?!

I-T G-I-R-L!

I Lasted Ten Rounds!

BRAT!

She's My Vitals!

Three's a Crowd (But Four...) — “So, are they like holograms? Or can you really touch them?” “Why? Trynna cop a feel, sweetheart?” In which you and your boyfriend find very unconventional uses for his powers.

Why Can't I Keep My Fingers Off You? [Part 1] [Part 2] — There were two things missing in the scene in front of you: 1. The aphrodisiac chocolate your friends had given as a gag gift last Christmas that had been hidden away in the back of your refrigerator. 2. Your dear fiancé.

Dream A Little Dream — For the strongest, it was a privilege to dream. Especially when his dream is you. 

Initiation! — “Just a small initiation, nothing too serious.” Couldn’t be too hard, right? So why are you - the all-new frat sweetheart - being pinned to the bed and stuffed full from all ends by your frat brothers?

One More? Please? — A kiss always solves everything! But when a kiss turns into something more…well, it’s only a desperate attempt to unseal yourselves from this damned prison realm, right? Right?

Everybody Knows That I'm a Good Girl, Officers... — You don’t know what’s faster - how fast you were speeding down the highway, or how fast you’re on your knees for the hot officers that just so happen to pull you over.

Hope They Catch Us — When you’re on-screen, it’s always a rivalry to see who’s best - you just never thought that it would be the same struggle in bed.

Unmistakably Yours — In which the strongest bends space and time - literally - after coming back from deatḣ, to do what he’s always wanted to do - you.

Madam Gojo — Gojo Satoru, the strongest clan leader in all of Japan - and the most dangerous, too. You, rejected by the elders, and totally not his future bride, right? Right?

Can't Touch Me (Like Gojo) — In which intentionally making your fríend-with-benefíts jealous ends up with more benefits than you’d think.

The Heir — No, your clan leader husband won’t stop until he gives you an heir. No, you don’t think you’ll make it out alive.

The Call — After an explosive fight with your boyfriend, you really should feel sorry about being swept up by the blue-eyed stranger at the club - but it’s so hard when he kisses you like that.

Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy — He knows that you would be one of his favorite stories from his travels. And you know that you want nothing more than to stay by his side. After meeting an alluring cowboy at Ol’ Rustcliffe Saloon, both of you are sure of one thing - this must be fate.

Go For It, Gojo! [Part 1] [Part 2] — You wouldn’t fuck Gojo Satoru even if you were paid…is what you thought exactly five minutes before you were shoved against the wall of this cramped closet, his face stuffed in your soaked panties.

Unhoneymooners!? — The universe was surely playing a joke on you. Here you were, trapped on a luxury getaway with your - dangerously handsome, extremely obnoxious - ex. Either you were going to kill each other or end up pinned beneath him, split apart on his cóck. You just didn’t know what would come first.

AITA For F*cking My Sugar Daddy's Son?! — When your sugar daddy just isn’t paying attention to you, can you really be blamed for fúcking his son? Especially when his son is absolutely obsessed with you.

Bad Boys Bring Roses — You’ve never dealt with the yakuza - not once. So why is the future head of the Gojo clan suddenly coming up to you, demanding that you marry him for 30 days?

The Way You Kiss Me — The four times Satoru tries really hard not to kiss you - his best friend’s pretty younger sister. And the one time he doesn’t.

Isn't That Sweet? (I Guess So) — Oh no! Why do your pantíes keep disappearing? Well, maybe your hot roommate knows the answer…

Haunting You — A bIoody trail of vampire attácks, a political marriage, and four suitors you’re forced to choose from - all haunting you. But none as much as the mysterious stranger that makes everything in you scream that you might just be fated for the very thing your kingdom is trying to escape from.

You'll Taste Me Too! — How do you last three days on a work trip with the man you hate the most in the office? You don’t - you end up pinned underneath him, instead.

We Neva Play! — Turns out, the “r” in rivals stands for “really good séx” when a mission becomes a little too hot to handle.

Something Stupid — Five times the strongest would rather díe than tell you he loves you, and the one time he almost does. Almost.

Initiation! — “Just a small initiation, nothing too serious.” Couldn’t be too hard, right? So why are you - the all-new frat sweetheart - being pinned to the bed and stuffed full from all ends by your frat brothers?

Like An Animal — Of course Toji doesn’t want any more kids. Of course he’s lying as he stuffs your pretty cúnt full of his cúm for the third time tonight.

Whiskey, Neat, With a Side of You — When your date stands you up, you’re lucky that the hot bartender is more than happy to keep you company! 

Everybody Knows That I'm a Good Girl, Officers... — You don’t know what’s faster - how fast you were speeding down the highway, or how fast you’re on your knees for the hot officers that just so happen to pull you over.

F*ck You! (Literally) — Of course, you hated your ex-husband. Of course, you found yourself in bed with him on your wedding anniversary.

Government Hooker — With the fame and glory of being an international popstar comes the inevitable threat of an overzealous stalker. You just didn’t think that it would also come with a very sexy, buff bodyguard behind your every move.

Madam Zenin — There’s nothing that rouses Toji, the infamous head of the Zenin clan, nothing that will make him lose control - until they take what’s most important to him. You.

Brooklyn Baby — Everybody wanted to fuck Suguru Geto, lead bassist of Tokyo Special Grades. Said Suguru doesn’t want to fuck anyone else but you. He couldn’t give less of a fuck if anyone walked in right now. In fact, a small part of him wishes someone would.

Initiation! — “Just a small initiation, nothing too serious.” Couldn’t be too hard, right? So why are you - the all-new frat sweetheart - being pinned to the bed and stuffed full from all ends by your frat brothers?

Golden Boy — Falling right back in love with the cult leader you’re supposed to kíll? Happens more often than you’d think.

Welcome To The Itadori's! — Three times Choso really, really wanted to hold you without his family barging in, and the one time he actually does. 

FIVE! — Five hours - it’s all it takes for Choso’s baby fever to take over. After all, you’d look so pretty with his kid - five of them, in fact.

Great With Kids? (You Can Have Mine) — When your younger brother gets a new babysitter, only two questions linger on your mind: 1. How come your parents didn’t trust you in charge? 2. How dare the sexy babysitter be so perfect - it made you want some attention too.

Freak On The Cam! — Choso always loved watching you - his pretty lil’ camgírl - from behind the screen. Who knew he’d love being on-screen with you even more?

Initiation! — “Just a small initiation, nothing too serious.” Couldn’t be too hard, right? So why are you - the all-new frat sweetheart - being pinned to the bed and stuffed full from all ends by your frat brothers?

A Million Dollar Baby! — Turns out, rent can be paid in much more than one way.

Can't Touch Me (Like Gojo) — In which intentionally making your fríend-with-benefíts jealous ends up with more benefits than you’d think.

Exes who...

Love Is Blind

“She My Best Friend, Yeah We Not a Couple.”

Wanna Do Bad Things To You

I Wanna Get Freaky On Camera

Lemme Ride, Baby!

Can I Fill You Up, Baby?

"Pull On It. Harder."

Little Heaven

©2025 tonycries. All work belongs to @tonycries. Do NOT repost, modify, translate or plagiarize in any way on ANY platforms. This includes themes, headers, and pinned.

[guhhhhhhhhhhh]

Friend breakups suck but they suck so much more when you've already made amends with the fact you're not going to be friends and the other person keeps demanding apology after apology to "put their mind at ease".

If apology 1 wasn't good enough I don't think apology 2 is going to make you feel much better and by apology 3 when you're telling me what to say back to you it really just makes me start to resent you when all I wanted was for this to just be a simple parting of ways