#she was supposed to be transferred and we were so excited bc she was working less than 20 hours a week in her department | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

v1ci0us · 2 years ago

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hi once again i am a day late cus i’ve been so busy 😔 but never busy for ur work!! it’s like a gift fr i see it and get excited like i’m a kid who’s gotten candy (it literally is candy)

The rain looked like it was starting to pick up, bigger droplets started to kiss Wednesday's cheeks, making their way down to her chin. The sky was darkening, with the moon fighting for a chance at a last goodbye to the one responsible for her favorite lullabies.

damnnn esther ur so poetic i love that about u n ur writing. don’t try to woo me already (it is working)

You had transferred to Nevermore a little over two months ago — adorning a pair of dark sunglasses you never took off and dressed in all black, save for the light pink pendant of your necklace — instantly getting into Wednesday's nerves the moment you stepped foot into the school and called her 'sweetheart'.

apparently i am a babe fr wowza. so unique 😍😍 ur crazy good w ur characters (ocs) and their personalities

Wednesday didn't know what your deal was, no one did. No one knew who your family was, what were your abilities, or the reason you enrolled in Nevermore; not even Enid knew, and she was the gossip queen. Despite the ever-present sunglasses, one thing Wednesday knew for a fact was that you weren't a vampire, just by the way you scrunched your nose at the mere sight of blood; but that's about everything she knows so far.

ooo all mysterious and unknown i like i like , it’s v interesting

Too smug for your own good, you leaned back on your chair. Wednesday could feel your gaze roaming up and down her body, before you said, quietly; "you're welcome-"

There was sunlight coming through the dusty windows. Wednesday could see her reflection in your glasses. "Shut up."

"Sweetheart," you finished with a grin.

The pencil that was thrown in your direction missed you only by an inch.

ENEMIES TO LOVERS OMG like the teasinggg the smugness ugh what a perfect relationship already

Every time you're near, every time she can hear nothing but your voice or feel nothing but the warmth radiating from your body; Wednesday's little black heart gains a burst of color that should never exist, it picks up a faster rhythm and makes her skin crawl uncomfortably. It's a feeling that's been there once before, fleetingly, much smaller than it is now.

SHE ALREADY HAS FEELINGS ugh that’s so cute she’s so cute just wait till she acknowledges it then she’ll be legit a w girlfriend

No one else but you could make Wednesday feel the slightest bit of remorse for snapping.

we’re special frfr she’s so considerate of our feelings and that’s already a green flag 😍

Begrudgingly, Wednesday glanced up at you, and the moment her eyes found you, she knew it'd be a whole challenge in itself to look away again; the dim golden light of the table lamp framed your profile and the way your hair fell over your shoulder — for a second, it reminded Wednesday of her wolf.

that’s exactly what love is supposed to feel like imo , engulf u and u will barely b able to look away. nahh the way we’re enchanting her—guess we’re her wolf already 🤷‍♀️

"Jesus Wednesday, what did the door do to you?" Enid grumbled, sitting up on her bed.

ENID BAE i love her sm she’s js a cutie at heart 🫶

The wolf backed away as soon as Wednesday tried to take a closer look, bright eyes looking at her one last time before it bolted away into the woods.

too close bae sorry ✋ we gotta be anonymous yk can’t reveal the secret simping

A loneliness that shouldn't be there, but it was.

:( she’s so baby. i would def call her baby girl bcs she is

Why would you look at the moon as if it held your heart's affection?

Why would look at the moon like that, when Wednesday was standing right there?

oh?? oh my god that made me melt because that is so wednesday, just possessive and the accurate thinking. my god u nailed this i am losing my mind over two sentences but when it’s ur work i’m not shocked

You couldn't care less. Part of you wanted to yell at him to stop living in the past, but you'd probably lose your tongue for that. Literally. He had called you yesterday to let you know he'd be coming, as if you weren't stressing over it for a whole week already.

the parental issues kicking in fr

"You're my wolf," the words rolled off her tongue against her volition, her wide eyes darting from your necklace to the dark sunglasses resting on top of your nose.

yes bae i’m urs 🫶🫶🫶

There was a distant ache in Wednesday's lungs, because she refused to breathe. Her heart was thundering against her ribcage as she took in each of your words. No one has ever made her feel as if she was a piece of art, worthy of a display at the most renowned museum, like you just did.

it’s what u deserve always ugh bcs have u seen urself?!! literally that’s what she is—art from a museum that u can’t help but be entranced by so i agree

And you weren't hers. Wednesday knew you weren't hers to worry about, to care for, to protect. Yet she had the annoying urge to do it all anyway.

says who?!! i’m urs if ur mine babe 🤷‍♀️

Wednesday would never dare call herself an empathetic person, but her chest clenched in pain to see you hurt. One of your tears fell on her thumb that rested on your cheek, and she wanted to take all the pain to herself.

:( heart aching

Wednesday didn't look like the girl who threw pencils at you in class — there was a faint blush to her cheeks and her pupils were blown wide — she looked like someone you could love.

Oh my goddd bro how do u do this how do u write things so perfectly i literally need it inserted in my veins atp

On what was usually the worst day of the year for you, Wednesday managed to make you go to sleep with a smile.

AWWW that’s so soft omg she’s so soft i love her n how she acts around those she loves

She captivated you in a way no other soul ever did.

ur romance is my fantasy no joke

Because Wednesday realized that you were looking at her the same way you looked at the moon. Maybe you always have been, for all of those nights you laid outside in the cold only to watch her play. She wondered for a moment if that is what love looked like.

oh my god i am kicking my feet toes curling blushing insanely eyes dazed. there is no way to explain how ur romance makes me feel, it makes me feel legit delusional with how much i need this because isn’t this what love is?? oh my god how do u do this nobody has had an affect on me like u do

“I mean, every time that I hear you play I'm just-" you choked on your words, your eyes finding hers when you realized that with each beat of your frantic heart, she was coming closer, closer.

heart fluttering i am excited

"I'm just in love," you told her in nothing but a whisper.

Wednesday had taken a hold of your jacket, and she halted only for a second when the word love left your lips. She didn't say it, but the way she was looking at you with the softest of eyes held a lot of love too.

WHAT?!! OH MY GOD WHAT I MEAN THE TENSION WAS IN THE AIR BUT OH MY HODDD I SM SVREAMING

Wednesday cupped your cheeks, holding you in place as her nose bumped yours and she gave a gentle nip on your lower lip.

She kept her lips on yours until her lungs screamed for air, pulling away slowly, feeling each one of your deep breaths grazing her lips. Wednesday felt your nails gently pressing against her spine, she felt you trace a path from her jaw to right below her ear where you chose to place a lingering kiss.

I SCREAMED I SCREAMED I STILL AM OH WIW THE BUILDING IT UP THIS KISS IS EVERYTHING U DONT UNDERSTAND IT IS SETTING ME ON FIRE WOW TMWMFWMW

And she knew, right then and there, that she'd never be able to look up at the moon again and not think of her wolf.

atp i am speechless i am nauseous i am sick and throwing up i cannot think properly all of my senses are going crazy oh i can’t even explain it

this was Too Good. like u seriously need to reflect on ur actions and the way u execute things bcs it’s kind of selfish like u needa b considerate of how others r handling this. honestly i could’ve had a heart attack from the passion it was quite literally setting me on fire and making me lose my sanity (i’m barely every sane)

ANYWAYS I’m playing w u babe this was crazy good (emphasis on the crazy) like ugh everything about this character was amazing and the fact she’s wednesdays wolf is so romantic and the kiss at the end?!! please i could go on forever but it’s annoying so i’ll stop here. love this as always 😍😘😘

I told the moon about you

Wednesday Addams x OC/Reader

Summary: Wednesday finds herself enchanted by the black wolf who always watches her play the cello in the dead of night.

A/N: This was written for a request sent by @roleplayfandom and I combined it with an idea of mine that I've had for a while, hope you don't mind and can still enjoy it. Arguably one of the most important stories I've written, because this oc has been my baby for so long, and I'm so happy to finally have the opportunity to include her in one of my stories; just hope I was able to do her justice with this. <3

Word count: 6,4k (sorry)

Masterlist

There was a drizzle in the air, the wind carried it around easily; tiny droplets of rain landed on the strings of Wednesday's cello that shook with each note she played.

Past the thin rain and clouds, the brightness of the full moon was nothing but a faded blur, casting a silver glow over the Addams girl and serving as the only witness to her spectacle.

The strong melody traveled with the wind same as the rain did, reaching the deepest parts of Nevermore and undoubtedly waking up a few students from their slumber. It only served as incentive — Wednesday could feel the burn on her fingertips as her song reached its momentum. The pain was welcomed, embraced.

When she released the strings, a soft sigh was let out as well. She blinked up at the moon above her, silently thanking it for its loyalty in keeping her most vulnerable moments a secret.

With uncanny delicacy, Wednesday lowered her cello, closing the case with a soft click.

Wednesday walked up to the railings, her hands leaning against the wet concrete there. Save for the howling wind, it was strangely quiet.

But there was something different with today. Wednesday could feel it. She could feel the weight of a mysterious presence nearby.

As expected, her instincts never failed. It was dark, pitch black, the shape of trees blending together with one another in the distance.

But in the middle of the darkness, a pair of caramel eyes were spotted. They belonged to what appeared to be a black wolf; big in its size, ears pointy and tail long, fur a little spiked as it glinted from the raindrops that fell on it, almost resembling a starry night sky. It was just sitting there, on the grass of the gardens outside. Its golden eyes fixed intently all the way up to the balcony where Wednesday was standing.

The Addams girl expressed no reaction other than angling her chin up with furrowed brows, a dare; and the wolf understood, because it slowly stood up, its ears resting back against its head before it trotted out of sight and into the woods.

Wednesday remained under the rain until she could feel the wetness of it seeping into her clothes. Her hands held onto the railings tightly.

Turns out the moon wasn't the only witness tonight.

—

Those same golden eyes followed Wednesday in her dreams, and she woke up frustrated for not knowing who they belonged to.

Was it just a wild animal passing by or a student braving the woods past curfew?

The thought of the wolf being a student seemed… unlikely, because it looked much different from Enid when compared to her 'wolfed out' form. The black wolf was simply that, a wolf — albeit a tad bigger. Yet Wednesday didn't discard the possibility of it being someone. Someone who was watching her.

She tried pushing the thought out of her mind during the day for the sake of her grades.

"Miss Addams?"

Wednesday snapped her head up, only to see her anatomy teacher and the whole entirety of the class with their heads turned her way, eyes expectant as they waited for something to happen.

A scowl came to Wednesday's face at the unwanted attention. She rested both hands on her table, briefly realizing that the board had three extra paragraphs of lessons written on it that weren't in her notebook yet.

"I made you a question," the teacher continued, one of her hands coming to rest on her waist, "for how long can a gorgon stone a person?"

Wednesday gulped, her lips hovering open as she searched her mind for the useless information yet came empty-handed.

The teacher was annoying, one of the least liked by the Addams girl. She was old and wore long and colorful skirts, with obnoxiously large glasses resting atop her nose.

"It depends on the gorgon," a familiar voice suddenly said, "but usually from two to four hours."

Wednesday glanced beside her to where the owner of said voice sat, and was met with a smirk being directed at her. She huffed in annoyance, visibly rolling her eyes.

"Very well." The teacher looked between you and Wednesday, not entirely pleased that Wednesday wasn't the one who answered but deciding to let it pass, and turned around to write on the board again.

Too smug for your own good, you leaned back on your chair. Wednesday could feel your gaze roaming up and down her body, before you said, quietly; "you're welcome-"

There was sunlight coming through the dusty windows. Wednesday could see her reflection in your glasses. "Shut up."

"Sweetheart," you finished with a grin.

The pencil that was thrown in your direction missed you only by an inch.

—

When Wednesday walked out onto the balcony of her dorm the next night, the wolf was already there.

She got a little taken aback by it, halting in her steps and gripping tighter onto the case of her cello. Wednesday immediately discarded the possibility of it being a coincidence or just a wild animal passing by. The wolf was there for her.

Those caramel eyes held a staring contest with Wednesday, and they eventually won. Satisfied, the wolf then lay down on the grass… and waited.

Long beats passed by until Wednesday finally sat down on her chair and adjusted her cello to be played. Her movements slow and calculated, all too aware of the heavy stare on her.

The moon was bright in the night sky, and Wednesday briefly glanced up at it, partly searching for some kind of reassurance but only finding that it wasn't a night of full moon.

When her gaze found the wolf again, she saw it looking up at the moon as well. The sharp silhouette of its muzzle being highlighted by the silver glow, fur flowing like silk with the wind.

Wolves sing for the moon, maybe that's why this one took a liking to the Addams girl.

There was hesitance on the way Wednesday's fingers hovered over the strings. Save for the occasional twitch of its tail, the wolf was unmoving on the grass, patiently watching.

Wednesday could tell the wolf to leave again, part of her knew it would obey. She didn't. She only closed her eyes, and started playing.

—

The next day, Wednesday made a trip to the school's library. She dug up every single book about werewolves and lycanthropy that she could find — some of them old, pages fragile to the touch and covered in a thick layer of dust.

The place was mostly deserted as per usual, and Wednesday saw no harm in staying. A table waited for her in the middle of the tall bookshelves, the only one hidden from sunlight.

She would be lying if she said she wasn't at least a little thrilled at the prospect of a new mystery. Things have been dull at school without an evil pilgrim trying to destroy it.

Though she was able to read in peaceful silence for all of ten minutes.

"What's with the sudden interest in furs?"

A heavy sigh left Wednesday's lips when she heard your voice. She sat straighter on her chair and chose to ignore you, pointedly turning the page of her book and focusing on it.

You hopped up on the table, sitting there cross-legged so you could face Wednesday, "you know your roommate is one, right? I bet she'd be happy to answer your questions."

See, there's a reason why Wednesday is bothered by your presence. Every time you're near, every time she can hear nothing but your voice or feel nothing but the warmth radiating from your body; Wednesday's little black heart gains a burst of color that should never exist, it picks up a faster rhythm and makes her skin crawl uncomfortably. It's a feeling that's been there once before, fleetingly, much smaller than it is now. But she's no stranger to what comes with it.

"I don't remember asking for your advice," Wednesday said, still refusing to look at you, her bangs hiding her eyes from you.

"Ouch," you mumbled, leaning back on your hands, "was just trying to help."

No one else but you could make Wednesday feel the slightest bit of remorse for snapping. And it's not like she paid attention to the last three lines she just read in the book anyway. Begrudgingly, Wednesday glanced up at you, and the moment her eyes found you, she knew it'd be a whole challenge in itself to look away again; the dim golden light of the table lamp framed your profile and the way your hair fell over your shoulder — for a second, it reminded Wednesday of her wolf.

Her wolf. The thought jolted her back to reality and she cleared her throat, heat rising to her cheeks as if you'd be able to read her thoughts.

"When are you gonna stop chasing after me like a lost puppy?" Wednesday didn't sound half as confident as she should for those words.

You raised an eyebrow at that, almost as if you wanted to be challenged. You leaned forward, bracing your elbows on your knees, so you could cast over every twitch on Wednesday's expression, your personal space shy of mingling with hers. "When you ask me to," you whispered.

The air felt electric, there was something enticing about the way you refused to back down sometimes. Wednesday felt the hair at the back of her neck rising with a shiver. If looks could kill, you'd be six feet under already — or at least fighting for air between her and this damn table. Wednesday couldn't decide which outcome she liked best.

Wood scratched against the floor as she suddenly pulled back the chair beside hers; "sit down properly, stay quiet," without looking at you, she shoved one of the books in your direction, "we're looking for a werewolf who can transform without a full moon."

—

Nothing. There was nothing in any of the books.

Wednesday walked back to her dorm without having learned a single thing. None of the books in the school had anything remotely close to the creature she saw the past two nights. Frustration was eating at her insides because she was running out of leads to follow, a dead end steadily approaching.

She went up the stairs of Ophelia Hall in a haste, pushing the door to her room out of the way and causing a loud thump that got Enid jumping on her bed, almost throwing her cell phone to Wednesday's side of the room.

"Jesus Wednesday, what did the door do to you?" Enid grumbled, sitting up on her bed.

Wednesday didn't respond, she threw her black backpack by the feet of her bed and came to stand in front of Enid. "What do you know of werewolves that can transform without a full moon?"

Slowly, a frown came to Enid's features. She turned off her phone when Wednesday kept glaring at it. "Nothing? Werewolves don't usually change without a full moon," Enid explained, confusion evident in her tone.

"And what if they did?"

"Then they're most likely not a werewolf."

Wednesday clenched her jaw in annoyance, she tugged at the tie around her neck, taking it off and messing up her hair in the process.

"Uh- my mother used to tell me about people who could shift into wolves at will, when I was younger," Enid kept going, wondering if that's what Wednesday was after.

The tie fell to her feet and Wednesday came to sit beside Enid; "tell me."

"Well, I don't know much about it, just that they're technically not werewolves. At least not like me," Enid shrugged, her colorful nails tapping her knee as she searched her brain for the stories she heard as a kid. "Oh, people used to call them hellhounds… pretty creepy if you ask me," she grimaced momentarily, "because they could change form whenever they pleased, and their… looks didn't help either, it made others scared of them. Most of the hellhounds succumbed to the fame and lived up to the name in the early 50s, from what I know."

Wednesday narrowed her eyes, "lived up to the name?"

"Killers," Enid gulped, "or hunters, as they'd call it. My mother always told me they were no good, so I guess the bad rep still follows," she shrugged, "maybe that's why no one has seen one for the past twenty years or so."

—

Wednesday didn't sleep that night. She kept staring at her ceiling and going over everything that Enid had told her. And the only other thought on her mind was you. It was inevitable, too fitting for it to be a coincidence.

Every time she's seen that wolf she felt the exact same tug on her heart that you so inconveniently brought. It couldn't be a coincidence.

For a week straight, Wednesday waited for the wolf to appear every night so she could start playing her cello. And every night without fail, the wolf was there; same place, same time. It would lay down, watch her, and then leave.

—

On the tenth night, Wednesday wasn't on the balcony of her dorm. She decided to break the pattern.

There was no moon in the sky tonight, it almost looked like a storm was brewing. The air was frigid outside, the grass already coated with a thin layer of ice. Wednesday enjoyed the cold, but even she was reprimanding herself for having only one coat on.

Glancing down at her phone, Wednesday saw that it was already five minutes past the usual time the wolf showed up. She wondered if it saw the empty balcony and left. Or maybe it wasn't going to show up at all tonight. She felt strangely disappointed at the thought.

A twig snapped behind Wednesday, causing her to hastily turn around with a gasp lingering on her tongue. The trees stood tall in front of her, creating a blanket of pure darkness between them, nothing could be seen. Nothing, except a pair of golden eyes. For a moment, they looked like they were floating on nothing, intently watching the girl in front of them as if she was prey.

For several beats, Wednesday waited. And then, one paw stepped out of the woods and into the grass, causing a chill to run down her back — not from fear, at least not only fear.

The name hellhound has never seemed more fitting. One paw in front of the other, white air huffing from its nose with each breath, fiery eyes, and fur as black as the night. It was almost as if darkness became alive.

Admittedly, it was bewitching.

The wolf, even on all fours, was almost as tall as Wednesday; and still, it kept its distance. If she didn't know any better, Wednesday would say it was afraid of her.

The night was suddenly calm, with not a single soul around to witness. Wednesday had come all the way down here tonight to put an end to things, discover who this wolf was and the reason behind all this… stalking?

Yet any words had died on her tongue and she found herself taking a step closer. The moment felt strangely delicate. When the wolf didn't move, she took two more steps.

Wednesday was reaching out before realizing it. The wolf's ears twitched, caramel eyes following her every move until her hand was barely grazing the dark fur. It was silky, engulfing her hand in a blanket of darkness as it sunk into the wolf's cheek.

Wednesday didn't dare breathe, trapped in a moment that felt unreal. But her attention was soon caught by a glint of color, dangling from the wolf's neck.

The wolf backed away as soon as Wednesday tried to take a closer look, bright eyes looking at her one last time before it bolted away into the woods.

—

The next night, her wolf didn't show up. And Wednesday sat on the balcony of her dorm in silence, waiting for something she knew wouldn't happen. She didn't play. Loneliness clawed at her heart.

A loneliness that shouldn't be there, but it was.

Wednesday found herself slipping away when the moon was highest in the sky, her bare feet feeling the cold of the wooden floor as she walked the empty hallways of Ophelia Hall. Maybe a walk out in the cold would take her mind of off foolish matters.

She walked until she eventually reached the main doors that led outside, stopping short of crossing the threshold. There was a figure sitting on the grass just ahead, cross-legged and looking up at the moon.

Wednesday would recognize you anywhere. She wondered why, for a fleeting second. "What are you doing?"

You tensed when you heard her voice. You had heard her coming, you heard the soft pattern of her steps down the stairs. You just weren't expecting her to talk. You didn't turn around to face her when you spoke; "admiring the moon."

Subconsciously, Wednesday's gaze shifted to the natural satellite in the sky, before settling back on you. She could barely make out the silhouette of your nose and cheeks, but she could tell you were smiling. Foolish. She thought to herself.

Why would you look at the moon as if it held your heart's affection?

Why would look at the moon like that, when Wednesday was standing right there?

The Addams girl let out an indignant scoff at her own inner thought, reprimanding herself for even coming up with it. She couldn't possibly be feeling jealous of a floating rock.

"What are you doing up?" You eventually asked, your voice gentle into the night.

If you turned around, you'd see Wednesday chewing at the inside of her cheek as she tried to chase away the mess of feelings swimming in her stomach. You'd see her take half a step toward you before deciding against it, and instead rushing back inside without giving you an answer.

But you didn't need one. Part of you already knew why she was there. It was the same for you, and it was bittersweet that you ended up meeting in the middle anyway, even if for a moment. Part of you wanted to run after her and just tell her.

—

You weren't sure why you did it.

On the first night, it was mere curiosity. You could remember the coldness of the grass beneath your paws, announcing the inevitable arrival of winter. You could remember the howling wind, causing your ears to twitch as the fur there felt sensitive to the force of it. You could remember the first drops of rain hitting your nose as you walked and how that's when you heard the first note of her song.

You followed it easily, soon finding yourself in the gardens that her balcony overlooked. And even seeing her all the way from down there, she was nothing short of entrancing. It was like you could feel her emotions through the music.

You never meant for Wednesday to see you though, even if all she'd see was a black wolf. But it happened, and yet you kept coming back, night after night; you couldn't help yourself. You started missing her. Because listening to her play felt like an escape from your unfortunate reality. It put you at ease.

But you should've known Wednesday would not settle for so little, you should've known from the moment you found her in the library, already digging up every last bit of information on anything regarding werewolves. You should've stopped then.

You didn't. Instead, you allowed her even closer, close enough to touch. On that night, part of you knew she'd already figured it all out.

—

It was a gray day outside. Fitting, you thought to yourself; as it was also your most dreaded day of the year. There was no more dodging it, you could fake sickness or an injury only so many times until it gets too obvious.

From your dorm's window, you could already see the familiar car pulling up in the parking lot. There was a bitter taste on your tongue, a suffocating feeling weighing down on your chest for what was to come. It felt like drowning.

It's tradition. That was what your father always told you. It's keeping the memory of our ancestors alive. As if they were anything worth remembering.

There was a chilly air outside, you could feel it even before walking out the doors that led to the quad; and it was right as you were making your way out, that she bumped into you. A quiet grunt left her lips at the impact, and she only didn't fall to the ground because your hands steadied her; your hold warm on her waist, keeping her body the closer she's ever been to you.

Now, you never intended to fall for the resident Addams of the school. It just happened. Maybe it was your incredible bad luck; or those dark eyes that sometimes put the midnight sky to shame with their beauty. The teasing came with the package of your growing feelings for her, it was your natural defense mechanism whenever your heartbeat skyrocketed at the mere smell of her perfume. Though you could swear that, sometimes, you managed to get her cheeks a tad rosier than normal. It got you wondering if it was wishful thinking to consider the small possibility of her returning your affections.

"You good?" You asked, subconsciously squeezing her waist.

Wednesday stumbled back when she realized that if she leaned forward just a tad more it would result in her nose brushing yours. She blinked multiple times to focus back on you, yet the first thing her eyes found was the light pink pendant of your necklace, the very same she saw on the wolf the other night.

For someone who's always so hard to read, she let the facade slip pretty easily this time. Wednesday's features did something complicated, as if she wasn't sure what she should be feeling.

"You're my wolf," the words rolled off her tongue against her volition, her wide eyes darting from your necklace to the dark sunglasses resting on top of your nose.

An awkward chuckle escaped you. You felt a lot more timid than you thought you would, "what?"

Wednesday clenched her jaw, she felt anger but wasn't sure towards what; "you're the wolf I see every night, aren't you?"

Your lips hovered yet no words came out, you took a step away from her. If it where any other time, you'd be happy to bounce arguments off of her until inevitably confirming her idea; but her timing wasn't ideal, "W-Wednesday, now is not a good time-"

"Why did you hide it-"

"What part of 'hurry up' did you not understand?" A gruff voice interrupted both you and Wednesday. You only gulped and looked down at your feet, while Wednesday turned her head to see a tall man walking towards you. He wore a dark red suit and had the same golden eyes Wednesday saw on her wolf every night, though his held a much darker undertone to them. The man's gloved hand closed around your arm with a tight grip. "We don't have all day."

"I'm sorry, father," you mumbled as he dragged you away and you tried to keep up with his steps. You turned around to give Wednesday a last tight-lipped smile, "see you later, Wednesday."

—

The sun was nowhere to be seen when your father dropped you back at school again.

You had brushed your teeth three times already, but it still felt like the taste lingered, making you nauseous.

Part of you was grateful to have come back late, Nevermore's hallways were mostly empty at this hour already so you didn't have to explain your looks. It's not like you couldn't have freshened up at your family's cabin, you just didn't want to stay a minute longer than necessary.

So you hurried into the first bathroom you found, not really considering the fact it was a communal one and anyone could walk in on you.

—

Wednesday wouldn't call herself obsessive, more like committed. She had pending matters with you, and she was going to get to the bottom of them.

So of course she kept an eye out for when you'd return to school. She saw the car drop you off by the gates, following after you as soon as you walked inside.

When Wednesday pushed open the bathroom door, you were standing in front of the mirror, damp paper towels in your hand as you tried to clean a rather nasty cut on your cheek. Your sunglasses rested atop the sink, giving Wednesday a clear view of your eyes; they were a shade of caramel she was all too familiar with, the same ones that have been keeping her company at night.

You tensed up when you noticed her, your hand freezing midair as you were about to throw the paper into the trash can.

There was a silence that stretched uncomfortably as none of you seemed to know what to do next. You were shifting on your stance, breathing unsteadily and Wednesday feared you might run away, again.

She took a single step in your direction and asked the one thing she came for; "why have you been stalking me?"

As if breaking from a trance, you looked down and away from her; allowing your hair to fall from behind your ear and hide your profile. "I wasn't stalking you."

"What would you call standing outside my window at late hours of the night only to watch me play the cello?" Wednesday raised her eyebrow pointedly.

You chuckled humourlessly, "now you make me seem like a creep." You felt small under her piercing gaze, embarrassment twirling inside your stomach. Sure, when she said it like that, it sounded weird. But you were just enjoying good music, right?

You slowly turned around to face her, your hands gripping tightly onto the sink's edge behind you. "You never told me to leave," you said quietly.

Any words Wednesday might have thought of died on her tongue. She felt uncharacteristically shy knowing that it was you who'd been witnessing her late-night lullabies. Yet she was also glad that it was you, and not someone else.

You shrugged weakly, focusing your gaze on your feet, "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I just- I heard you one night and-" you glanced up at her with a bittersweet smile, fragility still lingering on your heart and making your vision blur over. Even under the cheap artificial light of the bathroom, she was the most beautiful person you'd ever seen; alabaster skin contrasting with soft dark hair, sharp eyes, and burgundy lips — she had your heart on a leash.

"And I was blown away," you continued quietly as your feelings escaped you, "it was like I could feel what you were feeling through the music, and it was so freeing… I had to come back to it."

"I'm sorry if it seemed like I was stalking you," you breathed.

"Why keep it a secret?" She asked then.

Her sudden gentleness startled you. You've never heard her voice so soft. "I feared you might hate me." It went beyond just late-night encounters with a wolf Wednesday didn't know was you; you feared she'd hate what you could turn into; you feared she might see you as the thing you least want to be if she ever found out what you try to hide behind sunglasses and a snarky attitude.

It's because of the way your voice breaks at the end, that Wednesday finally looks at you. And she sees the tiny splatters of blood on your cheek, a cut running from your lip to near your ear, scrapes and bruises in your hands — you're nothing short of a mess.

And you weren't hers. Wednesday knew you weren't hers to worry about, to care for, to protect. Yet she had the annoying urge to do it all anyway.

She wordlessly closed the distance between you, the sound of her boots loud against the bathroom tiles. Taking a few paper towels, Wednesday dampened their edge under the running water of the sink. She hesitated before coming closer, it felt like crossing a line, walking down a road with no way back. Her eyes never left you as she came to stand in front of you.

Your grip on the sink's edge was bruising, knuckles white. You were so quiet, so on edge, so shaky; your eyes had a darkness around them, your lips quivering. It felt all wrong. Wednesday hated seeing you like this, without your usual light.

She raised her hand slowly, stopping short of reaching your cheek, "may I?"

You nodded, feeling a warmth rushing to your heart at the delicacy you didn't know she was capable of. A barrier had fallen between you. When you leaned against her touch, Wednesday started gently cleaning the few places still stained with blood on your skin.

"Did he do this to you?" Wednesday couldn't hold the question back anymore. A different kind of anger bubbled in her chest — one that was mixed with an unusual sense of protectiveness. "Your father?"

"Not him," you choked out, unable to look her in the eyes — not wanting to, "not directly."

Wednesday frowned at that, her eyes tried to chase after yours but you avoided her.

"He makes me do it." A tear rolled down your cheek, you bit into your lip to contain a sob, "he always makes me do it."

"But I hate it, Wednesday," you told her fiercely, desperate for her to believe you, a new batch of tears coming to your eyes when you finally looked up at her, "I hate the killing."

The moon was high in the sky when Wednesday walked out of the bathroom, with you close by her side. The darkness of the night easily hid the way her hand was holding onto yours.

And as you walked through the gardens together, Wednesday could feel the shift in the air. You had told her about the 'stupid tradition', how your family gets together once a year for the hunt, and how you felt dirty, disgusted at the feeling of sinking your canines into the white fur of the rabbit. Yet they still make you do it.

The door to her dorm came before yours. You stopped in front of it with her, nothing but the dim yellow light hanging from the ceiling to make you company. The moment felt more intimate than it should be. Wednesday didn't look like the girl who threw pencils at you in class — there was a faint blush to her cheeks and her pupils were blown wide — she looked like someone you could love.

"Why don't you ever take it off?" Wednesday asked, shooting a brief glance at the necklace hanging from your neck.

You take the light pink pendant between your fingers, tracing the nooks and crannies in it, "it was my mom's," you said softly, "she was the only person who ever told me I didn't need to be what others said I was. That I didn't have to carry the sins of my forbearers."

Wednesday nodded softly, glancing up at you before she turned around. Her hand left yours and she instantly missed the warmth there, it made her think of how lonely the nights started to feel when her wolf wasn't there.

Her fingers hesitated on the doorknob, she looked at you from over her shoulder, "if you wish to see me play, stop lurking around," she pushed the words out quickly, "Enid is out until nine most nights."

And with that, Wednesday closed the door in your face, not giving you an opportunity to ask about the abrupt invitation.

On what was usually the worst day of the year for you, Wednesday managed to make you go to sleep with a smile.

—

There was suddenly an unspoken thing in the air.

Wednesday went about her day as per usual, following her routine precisely. But there was something making her feel as if spiders were crawling around inside her stomach; it happened each time she walked into a room hoping to find you there, each time she'd feel you looking her way and doing a poor job of pretending otherwise, each time she found herself checking the time on the clock to see how long was left for the sun to set, and especially, each time Enid pointed out her looking at you.

When night came, Wednesday had her cello already set up outside, and she sat on her bed with her eyes fixed on the door. She felt a little silly, waiting on you like this even if you hadn't given her the slightest hint you'd be coming at all.

But she hoped you would.

It was two minutes past the usual time she'd go out to play her songs, that Wednesday heard three knocks on her door. She opened it to reveal you on the other side, looking as nervous as she felt.

"Hi," you greeted with an awkward smile.

"Hello," she bit back a smile of her own.

You followed after her when Wednesday quietly made her way outside. You felt a little out of place, up here instead of down there on the grass. But when Wednesday played the first note on her cello, it was as if the whole rest of the world went quiet, and it was just you and her.

You figured you'd never be able to settle on watching her from a distance anymore. Not when you'd just had a taste of listening to her music so loud and clear, of watching her up close, following each small movement of her fingers on the strings and the twitches on her expression as she immersed herself in the melody. She captivated you in a way no other soul ever did.

Wednesday had her eyes closed the whole time, she knew she'd stumble on the notes if she blinked them open and saw the way you were looking at her — she could feel it though, the weight of your gaze; it was enough.

Only when the last note stretched out, that she did look back at you. And sure enough, the song ended with abruptness as she lost her focus.

And maybe that's the reason why, before even getting up, she decided she'd take that gamble.

"You are so amazing," you breathed out, your lips hovering as you gestured around in search of words good enough to describe your feelings.

Wednesday put her cello aside, getting up from her chair to take the few steps that separated you.

"I mean, every time that I hear you play I'm just-" you choked on your words, your eyes finding hers when you realized that with each beat of your frantic heart, she was coming closer, closer.

"I'm just in love," you told her in nothing but a whisper.

The kiss she pulled you into might have been long overdue, given both of your eagerness. You were quick to grasp her waist and pull her body as close to yours as humanly possible.

Wednesday cupped your cheeks, holding you in place as her nose bumped yours and she gave a gentle nip on your lower lip.

And she knew, right then and there, that she'd never be able to look up at the moon again and not think of her wolf.

⋆* ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

A/N: This is a storyline I'm definitely willing to expand, so if you have any requests regarding Wednesday and her wolf, feel free to send them in.

Thank you for reading this little story. Feedback and reblogs are literally what keep me motivated to continue posting here, so I’d appreciate it if you could take some time to reblog and comment if you want. <3

Wednesday’s taglist: @milkiane @heelaechan @imagine-reblog @sakurarukas @bluetreecloud20 @the-night-owl-blr @imlike-so-gaydude @jjsmaybank20 @dreifhraniquo29 @emeraldevan @simp4nat @boobabietch @impossibleliv1031 @deadpool-in-a-snood @rainbow-love4ever @pompompuri @halleest @wandaromanova @marveloussimp @rainbow-hedgehog @left-and-right-up-and-down @get-the-fuck-outta-here @awolfcsworld @elduster @alexkolax @georgi-salva @imdumbhi @youralphawolf72 @reginassweetheart @justyourwritter69 @yangsroboarmm @8e-h-e8 @irish-piece-of-trash @femalehomosexual666 @wol-fica @wednesdays-woes @vorsdany @v1ci0us @the-nightshades-library @tundra1029 @aahdiieb @greyscxle-is-taken

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glitchdollmemoria · 2 years ago

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big long diary esque ramble about jewish conversion below the cut bc mmmm the paragraphs

its sinking in that now that im finally settling into a synagogue i feel comfortable in, im gonna have a community i can celebrate the holidays with, and i can actually learn firsthand how to celebrate them... really fucking exciting

i dont know when ill be able to actually officially start the conversion process, both because im flat broke and idk how much everything would cost AND bc this synagogue is still looking for an official rabbi rather than guest speakers (transitional period since the last rabbi moved away), but in the meantime i feel like im very quickly being taken under the congregations collective wing yknow? so im excited to start celebrating jewish holidays with other people who know what theyre doing rather than having to cobble together what i can while i sit in my apartment lmao

overall im really really happy to finally be attending. its been way too long since ive been able to regularly attend a congregation. and this one is a conservative synagogue, and ive only ever attended reform synagogues before. the one i went to back in my old town was great, i adored the people there and the way we worshipped and everything was so comfortable, it was absolutely where i needed to be during that time. but based on my research and my experiences so far, im fairly confident conservative is the movement for me. this synagogue is definitely where im meant to be now, and my thoughts are basically... while my partner and i do have a plan on where we want to live someday, thats still years down the line most likely, bc im poor and hes in college, so im HOPING that this synagogue will be the one i attend throughout my conversion. i mean id be fine with starting here and having to transfer rabbis later but im mostly hoping ill be finished up before that time comes

theres something very familiar about this congregation. something in the grain of the wood, and in the worn out books of the library. its comfortable and welcoming and it tells me this is where im supposed to be, at least right now.

also - i keep thinking back to when i attended the reform synagogue in this city. the service itself was great, but i didnt really feel like i fit in with the others, especially the people my age. one of the other 20-somethings said that the people at the conservative synagogue were all "boomers" or smth who were unaccepting in some way or another, and idk if she had her own bad experience here which i really wouldnt want to brush off, but so far everyone has been very kind. i was immediately welcomed once i explained that im wanting to convert, multiple people went out of their way to help me and invite me to stay longer and attend more events. i was immediately regarded as a man, and maybe that was because i was wearing a suit and my voice is deep from hrt but it was still very reassuring either way - an older man told me very firmly to put on a kippah and while i joked with my friends that i felt like a kid being lightly chastised, it was still a really nice feeling to not only be seen as a man but to have someone insist on me following that custom.

and then afterward, over lunch, i was chatting with the other congregants and ended up talking about my partner, and referred to it with multiple pronoun sets and explained that it uses any pronouns. nobody was rude at all about that fact, and one man was clearly a little confused by me switching around words and pronouns but was very very obviously doing his best to be respectful and understand as best as he could. he said he was working on understanding these things better for his kids iirc.

overall i feel like this synagogue is a safe place for both myself AND my partner, should it ever visit and want to attend with me. yes, most of the people here are elderly, but everyone was friendly and so far people have been respectful when it comes to queerness and conversion. id say the worst thing i heard someone say was a small dig at reform judaism, but even then, another member was quick to shut him down.

it frustrates me a little to think that the people here might be getting labeled as intolerant in one way or another if thats not really the case, if its just because theyre older. again, i dont want to brush off any bad experiences someone else mightve had, but i also worry that there might be some preconceived notions at play here, yknow? but i guess in the end theres not much use dwelling on it. im just happy to feel at home in a congregation again, and to feel like im back on track making more progress toward my conversion. im glad to be meeting all these people and finding my place in a community instead of feeling so isolated so much of the time.

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olderthannetfic · 3 years ago

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Hey, help me please? You seemed like a good person to ask.

In substitution of my utter lack of social skills, I kind of use half-hearted manipulation tactics to make friends and keep them as friends.

For context, I'm now a 21y/o.

So, in middle school because of my strange/reticent personality, I was kinda left out cold by my classmates (a therapist I saw for a bit last year calls it bullying, but I disagree. I pushed people away, they pushed back, it's science). Except that middle school spat happens and the whole class actually turned on one of the popular girl bcs… y'know, drama. There was no physical bullying, but they ignored her and started rumours.

The girl was vulnerable, for the lack of a better word. And I took that chance to befriend her and accompany her throughout that month of complete idiocy that could be traced back to ‘A likes B who likes C who is in relationship with D’ type of bullshit. She eventually make up with her friends and I befriended her friends in turn. She transferred out in hs and I don't speak to her that much lately. But she's just the beginning.

In hs, I knew better. Still introverted, but I learned not to be too weird outwardly. I also learned to pick up those who others ignored. Nerds with their own specific interests, I took with four of them and we are still friends now.

But it must be said that the way I try to keep them liking me and stays as my friends are dubious at best.

I do all the shit marketers and aspiring cult leaders do. I pay attention to their interests, treats them something at times, I ask them to do small stuff sometimes, let them talk about themselves and their interests, ask them about their interest habitually, get into their hobby every other month and ask them about it.

Now, I am someone who can get excited easily. So it’s not like I'm pretending I'm someone else. I am casually interested in their interests, but the reason why I get into it in the first place is bcs I don't want them to leave me kinda.

I am kind of Venus flytrap in a way. I lure people in then I entangle them so they can’t leave. But that's it. I have no idea how to just be friendly normally or how to have casual friends.

So, my question is: how do people make friends and keep them? Like what do you do to socialise? What are you supposed to say/do at any given point in time? How do you even know those words? 😭

I kind of want handbook for introverts: how to survive the social jungle, but I think this is more of a me problem than an introvert problem.

This doesn't sound that bad to me, nonnie.

Getting interested in friends' interests on purpose is normal and fine. Typically, in a healthy situation, you're doing it just because you guys are friends and you're curious about your friends' lives.

You're doing it because you secretly feel desperate and like people are going to leave you, and that's a problem, but that's more of a 'work on self esteem with therapist' problem and less a 'future cult leader oh no' problem.

"Manipulating" people by finding sad, lonely people and being nice to them is... not actually a problem. You made them like you by being nice to them. That doesn't make you Machiavelli: it makes you a sensible person who figured out the most basic rule of how human emotions work.

Frankly, you're one up on a lot of socially awkward people I know because instead of dreaming of friendship with already too popular people who are too busy and likely not interested, you scooped up a bunch of people who were highly available. That's a fairly successful strategy, as you've observed.

I think the big question here is: Do you actually like your friends?

If you genuinely enjoy being around them, then it's fine. If you're just settling for whom you can get, then it's more of a jerk move. You sound like a normal friend, just one who overthinks everything and has to plan every move intentionally instead of unconsciously, organically doing things.

I think how many people make friends is by casually chatting with people who are around, and then some of them seem interesting or you just click, and you spend more time with those people. It's not so different from what you've done except that other people don't think about every step consciously.

Based on your description alone, it sounds to me like the actual problems here are 1. self esteem 2. an unhealthily large fear of abandonment and 3. the illusion that other people have their shit together. Those are all internal issues you can work on with a therapist. I don't think the external stuff about how you're treating others is really the issue.

Books on friendship exist. I don't think they'll be as helpful as addressing these internal issues.

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darlington-v · 4 years ago

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I know different interpretations of a work are generally enriching and cool... but c!dream villan interpretations is like how to tell me you only watch Tommy without saying you only watch tommy.... which would be fine but its not a great place to be making statements about the whole nature of the dsmp lol

Wild speculation, but sometimes I wonder if like, because the dsmp didn't really start as a narrative, and a lot of fans don't nessecarily enter it expecting a narrative, but then there is one and the fandom is really discourse heavy and everyone is sort of excpeted to have an opinion while maybe not expecting to form one from the begining or not having a ton of experience with narrative in a way that would "expect" them to have an opinion or not take things at face value??, I don't know if I explained that well at all... and I don't really even think thats right nessecarily... but like wow sometimes some of the takes about power and government and villany...

Honestly, it makes sense!!!

I think something interesting is like.... looking at how animatics have shaped the like tone and culture of the fandom essentially. Like, an interesting fact that I didn't really fully grasp until SUPER recently is like...

c!Wilbur out the gate admits he is manipulating c!Tommy. Like his first youtube video on the Dream SMP he admits his goal is to manipulate c!Tommy and people like c!Tommy into helping him achieve a potion ("drug") empire to monopolize on potions because there were a lot of people on the server who like to min-max, which is to put all of your effort into this one specific skill essentially. so like... i know minecraft doesnt have a skill tree but if it did, it would be putting all your points into that one specific branch of a skill tree. So he wanted to exploit the labor of all the TommyInnits to.... maintain a Potion Empire.

THIS IS A LONG POST BC I GOT CARRIED AWAY SO BUCKLE UP

And I don't think a lot of the fandom who joined later on knows this. I certainly didn't until like a week or so ago? Like... I knew c!Wilbur had been manipulative from the start because I'm a mod of (shameless self promo incoming) @dsmpanalysis and we have a lot of different POVs in that mod team and discord and we talk about it really frequently. I joined the fandom as someone who was really big on L'manburg ESPECIALLY crimeboys, and have turned into.... *gestures vaguely to my blog*

And ngl I owe a lot of it to @1-michibiki-1 in terms of c!Dream "Apologism" but all of the mods there have expanded my thoughts and views on the storylines of this narrative.

My application consisted of like largely essays about like... how I think Dream was the villain but he was meant to be the villain because you don't get any insight into his character WHICH.... IS A FAIR ASSUMPTION AT FIRST GLANCE. People are easily villainized when you cannot get a glimpse into their thought process. It's easy to dwindle someone down into this flat character and starting out I knew Dream didn't stream the SMP on purpose.

And I personally came to the conclusion of "Oh! So Dream is supposed to be the villain." However as the story continued and I learned more about what Dream went through I began to realize that... it's more than likely a form of a red herring. My opinions on this were immediately solidified when I watched Ranboo's 2 MIL stream because both Ranboo AND Dream agree on enjoying red herrings.

There have been MANY times were Dream has said that c!Dream is a complex character and he's not a wholly evil guy and there have been times where the narrative has honestly just proved that.

Anyways, what's important though was that... I learned most of this from other people who were more focused on c!Dream rather than myself. Eventually I shifted from c!Tommy to c!Ranboo and c!Techno after c!Tommy betrayed c!Techno and I began to realize.... everything I learned before hopping in wasn't exactly what it seemed.

Part of this is because I'm older, I heavily identify with c!Techno's sense of loyalty and philosophies on government, but I especially identify with the anguish c!Techno voiced in... a lot of lore but especially the lore around Doomsday.

I'm not 16 anymore. I don't always feel wronged by adults, or older people in my case, whenever they absolutely have done something wrong by me, but I do feel wronged by my close friends. I also felt like c!Tommy's sense of loyalty didn't line up with mine after what felt like him constantly flip-flopping and refusing to understand c!Techno's morals on government didn't line up with his.

In short, it was easier to identify with Tommy in these animatics versus in the actual stream content because c!Tommy is played by a 16 year old. I'm not a teenager and my line of thinking doesn't entirely line up with people that age anymore. It's harder to place myself in the same shoes of someone's OC who is played closer to their actual age, because I'm not that age.

Regardless, I was still on the c!Dream is a villain train. I wasn't ever like... c!Dream is repulsive I hate him, but I was like omg hot villain lad go brrr.

Even when the first like... mellohi, panic room, Ranboo lore stream popped up I thought "Oh! c!Ranboo corruption arc?"

And I was excited because I really wanted this shy, nervous character to turn into villain buddies with his good pal c!Dream. I'm a total sucker for villains and corruption arcs and all that good shit.

SO I STARTED GETTING REALLY INTERESTED IN ENDERSMILE. I'VE BEEN ON ENDERSMILE SQUAD OUT THE GATE. NOT THE SAME WAY I AM NOW, BUT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED THEM TO TEAM UP.

So... upon not really keeping up with c!Dream and being relatively??? indifferent? I don't think I started arguments on c!Dream back then, but I might have. But I remember like... starting to participate more whenever c!Dream came up and looking more into Dream's character BUT ESPECIALLY TALKING WITH OUR SERVER'S C!DREAM SPECIALIST MICHI ABOUT DREAM A LOT MORE.

And because Michi has been a watcher since day one and was a DTeam fan rather than a SBI fan, she was able to provide me with more information on how the server worked pre-Tommy but especially pre-Wilbur.

Now, you could definitely argue well Michi probably has clear bias but it made sense to me when I looked back on how the storyline had been constructed and was going along, and everyone in the server talks a lot about our own biases and how we want people to maybe not lean so hard on them. Michi would also provide like anecdotes on what had happened and I'm sure links were probably provided at one point but the point was I felt like Michi had no reason to lie or manipulate how the story was told and if she did, eventually someone would have pointed it out because... Group of like... right now it's around 20 or more analysts but I don't remember how many at the time there were. POINT BEING, WE'VE ALL GOT POINTS TO PROVE AND IN MY EXPERIENCE NOT MANY OF US HAVE BEEN SHY TO PROVE THEM.

So if anyone ever had any differing opinions they would be talked about and we literally had and still have discussions.

REGARDLESS.... I DIDN'T FACT CHECK IN DEPTH BECAUSE I THOUGHT PEER REVIEW WAS ENOUGH WHEN YOU HAVE LIKE HOURS UPON HOURS OF STREAMS TO WATCH.

Anyways. Eventually I started paying closer attention and looking more into c!Dream lore but only recently have I started to triple check before speaking about c!Wilbur lore because I know everyone has biases and while I did trust everyone's thoughts and analysis in the discord, whenever I make essays I typically like it to be largely air tight and if theres a mistake, I want it to be because I forgot not because I just trusted what was said. Plus, I wanted to get down to the specifics of how Wilbur had always started with manipulation on the mind.

SO I WATCHED HIS FIRST VIDEO ON THE DREAM SMP.

AND WHAT I WAS NOT BY ANY MEANS EXPECTING WAS WILBUR TO SAY WORD FOR WORD, VERBATIM,

"SO WHY DON'T I START AN INDUSTRY WHERE I USE THE TOMMYINNITS OF THE WORLD TO WORK FOR ME, TO CREATE THINGS THAT THE MIN-MAXERS OF THE WORLD WILL WANT."

Like... this is in no way an attempt to like hardcore villainize c!Wilbur like everyone does Dream, it's just more so to like REALLY outline how far off a lot of fandom interpretation of c!Wilbur is....

Because of SBI focused animatics.

Now, when I joined I watched A LOT of animatics that really highlighted like... Wilbur being this self-loathing JD-esque, "I destroyed it because I had to because the world was against me because no one loved us, Tommy" type of character. At least... that's what it came across as.

And it definitely highlighted the fact that Tommy was a victim, which he is. He is undoubtedly a victim and no not even any dream apologist can change my mind otherwise. Tommy, despite being an instigator sometimes, didn't deserve the abuse he received.

But these animatics never shown the fact that c!Wilbur started L'manburg as a shady ploy to exploit people like c!Tommy and vilify c!Dream so he could have power.

And that was easy because Dream and Tommy had wars before. They had spars and pranks and here's the plan to take back my disks and here's the plan to out smart the thieving little child etc etc.

And all of the animatics I watched never mentioned this. Neither did the recaps though. The recaps gave the events flat out, there didn't sound like there was bias, and honestly I don't really know if there was rather than like... a lack of nuance. And it's hard to provide a recap with that much nuance in a short period of time for a youtube video, to be perfectly fair.

However, this creates a perfect formula for entirely rewriting the history of a server. c!Wilbur quite literally fucking succeeded TO A META LEVEL. He slandered and ran smear campaigns against Dream and like he even does that with Sapnap in the beginning. But what's crazy is that it transferred over into the meta! Most of this fandom understands Wilbur as a victim of mental illness, and yeah maybe? He definitely wasn't mentally well by the end of pogtopia, but he never started out with honorable intentions. L'manburg was never a victim, only its citizens. The TommyInnits of the world.

I just think it's like... such an interesting case study. Because this is like... an opinion like shared by at least half of the fandom, but the vilifying of c!Dream is shared by MOST of the fandom I would argue. Which is like even more crazy for me because that was c!Wilbur's goal!!!

LIKE I GO INSANE WHEN I THINK OF THIS BECAUSE HIS REACH IS JUST TOO POWERFUL. HE'S NOT EVEN ENTIRELY REAL, JUST A MANIPULATIVE PERSONA OF SOME BRITISH GUY.

And I mean... maybe people who have watched Wilbur's video on the SMP still maintain this idea that Wilbur wasn't always the bad guy, but honestly... I wouldn't be surprised if their introduction was still an animatic. Like bias is hard to check and I'm not going to lie I could have sworn I watched both Wilbur's AND Tommy's video on the SMP in the beginning and yet I STILL was a ride or die for tragic yet on some level still honorable Wilbur and a resilient Tommy.

Like... upon watching Wilbur's first video... possibly again I was surprised because I thought I did watch it like right before I even started watching the streams and yet I was still so invested in c!Wilbur as this tortured anti-hero.

It took 6 months of... not being in an echo chamber, full of multiple different people of different ages, different stream POVS, and people who joined the fandom at different points in time.

IDK IF THIS WAS EVEN ENTIRELY RELEVANT IT JUST FELT TANGENTIALLY RELEVANT AND THIS WAS SOMETHING I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT FOR A HOT MINUTE AFTER LIKE WATCHING WILBUR'S FIRST VIDEO AGAIN.

TLDR;

SBI CENTRIC ANIMATICS HAD A LASTING AFFECT ON THIS FANDOM AS IT'S HARD TO GO BACK AND ACTUALLY CHECK THE NARRATIVE FOR SOLID FACTS FOR YOUR OWN INTERPRETATION BASED ON THE FACT THAT THIS NARRATIVE SPANS OVER HUNDREDS OF HOURS WORTH OF TWITCH STREAMS.

#asks #anon #dream smp #dsmp #dsmp analysis #dream smp analysis #dsmp meta #dream smp meta #my analysis #long post

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cishetamine · 2 years ago

Text

lily rose depp

they were calling her a nepo baby

ticketmaster investigation

i waited in that queue for 7 fucking hours

i waited 7 hours

and my dad waited 7 hours

the cheapest tickets were like $200

and taylor swift’s apology was so fucking bullshit

i do feel like it wasn’t totally in her control

harry stiles and ed sheeran

they

he’s the #1 most listened person on spotify!

i was so pissed off on tuesday

i saw how long the queue was when i tried to join

he paid like $500 for VIP

the fees are bad!

yeah they add up!

i’ve been scouting out tickets

it was row 2 of the 3rd tier

it should’ve been 80, it bumped up to 120 in fees

so i decided i was

there’s an app they were promoting on tiktok

you pay like a monthly membership and u get like a shitload of discounts

i hope ticketmaster gets like taken down

this is the community college i’m gonna go to!

i’d be terrified to—

did you sign up for classes next semester?

hopefully i can transfer to UIC

wait what

are you..a sophomore with your credits?

seems like their studies were interrupted

college algebra i should be okay with but biology is just not my thing

i’m gonna take speech next semester, which is required for PR

it’s so fun watching her interact with the snow

baby’s first snow

public speaking

it’s a requirement for my major

my brother took it for

business degree

i hate listening to my voice on camera

you have to talk abt stupid things

he did his on why videogames are like bad for kids

which they don’t talk abt in college as much these days. bc they’re like too talked about

the last 2 months of my philosophy class last year we just did political debates like every single day

ppl are afraid teachers won’t grade them fairly bc there’s lots of opinion and bias

canadian college

abortion and euthanasia were all not allowed

ooh there’s the dugout

is that a bar?

is that the rooftop right there?

it’s actually really cute.

ohh! he’s going on a cruise i think! with like regina’s family over thanksgiving.

he straight up told me that [pronoun indecipherable] doesn’t like having sex

like receiving it?

you’re so selfish

what’s wrong with you!

i saw her private story

all she does is post like carter and monty, that’s it.

when she got accepted she said she hasn’t even toured it yet

she skipped it to go to starbucks with us

i’ve never met anyone lazier in my fucking life

community college

you don’t wanna end up like her that’s for sure

my mom said

if you’re gonna drop out and never go back,

i was telling

holding me here against my will

your family needs a reality tv show

it would get so many views

sister

my parents had to flush her pills down the toilet

bc you’re only supposed to be taking them for like 2 weeks

her like SCREAMING in the background. like SCREAMING

she was hooked on oxy

i’m excited for the new season

they canceled it!

They canceled it?!!??

there was rumors about a bunch of major actors leaving the show

sidney sweeney

trump supporter

i love when the internet comes in with opinions

i feel like you can’t really cancel an actor unless they do something

armie hammer! yeah he works at a hotel now

there was like leaked—

just got put on netflix which is like, shit timing

everyone likes the summer in italy

i’ve always liked

2 more stops

i don’t know…i don’t see the appeal

it doesn’t look that great to me but i want to see it

don’t worry darling

i didn’t neeed to see it

walk out of the theater like after watching interstellar

if you’re not gonna make a sequel don’t you dare leave a movie un..

i know the harry stans are going crazy right now.

i look at him more and more like he’s not all that. he looks like a lot of other people

great personality, but

he’s that one person who’s like too into tiktok trends like he’s right behind them

i’ve never been to a harry styles concert but

it also pissed me off how long it took him to reveal what the gender was

there was like a part 2 like what the fuck, just put it in 1 video!

i wish i’d got starbucks before i came here

we’re going to a cafe!

yeah but

very.. adult drinks

do you need your chocolate—

haha yeah, kinda!

i like the sugar cookie—

the gingerbread latte

my sister

you were there for this

my sister was like:

i can’t wait for christmas so i can get a peppermint mocha!

and i was like how many times do i have to tell you: you can get a peppermint mocha year round!

yeah, but it’s different when it’s christmas!

hits different

#chicago #eavesdropping #southbound red line #3 young white women about college age

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kannra21 · 4 years ago

Text

Sniperhaul fanfic

ˡᵐᵃᵒ ᶦ ᶜᵃⁿ'ᵗ ᵇᵉˡᶦᵉᵛᵉ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᶦ'ᵐ ᵈᵒᶦⁿᵍ ᵗʰᶦˢ

Overhoe finally broke out of Tartarus after a very long time. However, he couldn't have done it without the help of a certain villain mistress. 😏 Who's she and why did she choose to help this terrible (x2) man? Find out bellow.

characters: overhaul (chisaki kai) x sniper lady

word count: 3k

warnings: angst, past memories, handless overhaul, hurt, comfort, gangs, yakuza, just girl taking care of her mans

notes: I'd like to thank the person responsible for proofreading this work bc I'm supposed to keep their identity a secret. 😎 Thank you once again! And of course, the manga and characters belong to Kohei Horikoshi. @meefal you were excited to see the final product so here you go, hope you like it. 🖤

✂-------------------------------------------------------

Overhaul couldn't remember how long he'd been there, he'd lost count weeks ago. The only thing he knew was that he was in "Tartarus", a prison located 5km off the coast of the Mainland. It may function like a conventional prison, but in reality, those who're deemed a severe threat toward the safety of the nation were locked up and monitored closely, regardless of whether their sentence has been decided on yet. The facility was divided into 6 levels, where the potential threat level of criminals was deemed "higher" the further underground you go. It's a prison where, once you enter, there's no chance of leaving.

He sat there in his cell, B10 being the lowest level in solitary confinement. It was too cold for his head to function and too dark for his eyes to see, with the small window above the prison doors being his only source of light. There was also an opening where prisoners received their meals, but considering that he lost his hands, the guards could easily enter without worrying too much for their well-being. They'd leave whatever they offered that day and give him a disgusted look before locking the doors after themselves. He couldn't see his reflection nor touch his face, he probably looked like crap by now. His skin was itching and he felt disoriented from all the germs occupying this space, it's been a while since he's gone out for some fresh air.

He was practically Quirkless and yet they locked him out in the worst, most dreadful place the isolation block had to offer. He couldn't even feed himself properly, he couldn't do anything by himself whatsoever. But there was only one thing left to him; he spent days and days thinking about pops, Chrono, yakuza and everything he could have if it weren't for those stupid heroes-- no, if it weren't for his plan that so grandiosely failed. It made him feel miserable, desperate even, and with grief soon followed acceptance. It was all his fault, and he needed to live with this burden for the rest of his life. Because of him, pops is still handicapped to the bed somewhere, wherever the heroes might have taken him.

He stood up and started beating the cell with his leg, curing his frustrations. He didn't know why he was doing it, it was irrational and he's hurting himself unnecessarily, but for some reason it made him feel lighter. At least he could transfer some of his inner pain to the outside world. Other criminals laughed at his patheticness, especially since they knew why the guards were allowed to enter his cell. They shouted that it was impossible to escape, but he wasn't trying to. He knew that it was useless a long time ago.

Midnight came and all the prisoners mostly fell asleep. Overhaul, however, couldn't sleep a wink. Because of the dark room he spent most of his days in, he lost his sense of time so he was pacing around, deep in thought. He couldn't dream of anything nice anyways.

"Can't fall asleep either?" a feminine voice could be heard from the other side. Wait. They allowed women here? What could she have possibly done to deserve such punishment?

He leaned his back on the doors and slid down to the floor, trying to find the right words.

"Yes." he sighed, enthusiasm lacking in his voice "But it's not like I need you to talk about my problems."

"Hm, whatever. Go beat your head against the bars. Fall unconscious, loser."

The man snorted, which might as well be his first time he ever did that.

"Well, this certainly sounds effective. It's not like I have anything to lose anyways."

"Hey." the tone of her voice was earnest, and it aroused further questions in his jumbled up head.

"What?"

"We're going to get out of here."

Is she being serious now? "Really? Because as far as I know, we're locked out here for good. We don't even know the severity of our sentences. They can do whatever they want with us."

"Not quite. You know that they're being supervised by 'The Hearts and Mind' party offshoots. They can’t do a thing to us as long as they have their heads to the pikes."

This might be true, but he didn't believe in anything the government's been telling them lately. It's only a matter of time before they switch their plans and play by their own rules, because stabbing people in the back was the only thing they've ever been good at.

"How did you end up here?"

Oh the long-awaited question. She wondered when he'd ask.

"It's not like I need you to talk about my problems."

He smiled, he liked this vicious side of hers. But he also realized that she could be nice as well because if that wasn't the case, she wouldn't spread promises of the escape. At least that's what he thought.

"Sorry about that."

"It's okay. We've all been here for a very long time, now weren't we? We lose our cool and act like total assholes."

"Direct and straight to the point I see." his deadpan voice could be heard from the other side of the bars.

"'Been raised this way, for the better or worse." it didn't sound like she was bragging, yet it felt like she was just talking about herself, honest and confident, to cover up what she felt was wrong. The incoming topic which she'd rather avoid.

The villainess didn't want to open up about her past, so she just answered his question.

"I killed people beyond counting, following AFO's orders. He always wished to become the world's greatest demon lord and thus promised us enormous change in the hero society. So in order to achieve that, he needed his underlings. And that's how I ended up here."

"You were loyal till the end."

"You know what they say; there can be no progress nor achievement without certain sacrifice."

Wise beyond her years and just as sad. He wondered how her face looked like, how the world's been treating her.

"I had my own sacrifices as well."

"Do you regret them?"

...

"I do."

Now it was her turn to snort "Really? And I thought that people situated this low couldn't have regrets. You remember what they said about us. 'Beasts in human clothing', 'Simply dreadful beings'."

He felt insulted, maybe the things she said were true but it's not like he was anything similar to these pigs he shared the same air with, unfortunately.

"I regret hurting the person important to me. The old man who once took me in when I was very young. He was the infamous boss of Shie Hassaikai."

Something clicked in her, it's such a small world they're living in, "Yakuza? I know you guys. We used to trade with you back in the days."

"Todou Gang?"

"You said it."

"But... you were a force to be reckoned with. One day you just collapsed and not a single trace could be found. According to certain sources, there was no way anyone could determine the exact cause of your downfall. So what happened?"

"I killed them all."

...

"AFO told me to kill them to prove my loyalty to him and, of course, to make sure that there was no one I could turn to other than himself."

For some questionable reasons, and he didn't dare to admit that it was empathy he felt towards a random stranger and a former gang member he shared some history with, Overhaul wanted to fill the silence that lingered between them. Perhaps, because he felt guilty for making her reveal more than what she initially intended.

"I used pops' niece, a 6-year-old girl who had an extraordinary Quirk; it allowed her to rewind a person's body back to a certain state. That means she could put a body back to before it was injured or before the person even developed a Quirk. With that, I wanted to create a Quirk-erasing drug to get rid of the Quirk society altogether and to make sure that yakuza could rise once again. I cut her skin every day to take blood samples and to test her regenerative abilities. However, pops didn't approve of it, so I handicapped him to the bed and planned on waking him up the moment I realized my plan, to make him proud of the achievement. Unfortunately, it didn't play out as I wanted and I never reached him."

The silence followed and the woman wore a disheartening smile on her face. It's not the answer she expected, she didn't ask for another sad story from another messed up person she's met in her life. But the intentions were pure and for her, it was good enough.

"We both fought for something only to lose it all, huh?" she laughed, but it was prominent in her tone that it was bittersweet.

"At least you're brought here in one piece."

"At least you can still revive your parent."

Were they comforting each other? Were they jealous of each other? Were they wallowing in self-pity? They couldn't tell. The only thing they certainly could was the embarrassment they felt from the moment they realized that some of the prisoners were eavesdropping and making fun of their vulnerabilities. See? That's what they hated the most about opening up about themselves; they were worried about their feelings being perceived as a joke. The only way to protect themselves was to rise up the walls and never let anyone get closer, except they didn't regret exchanging a word or two, as long as it was the two of them.

The next day, 8:34PM Mainland-side entrance, the guardians of 'The Bronze Gate' announced a code red security lockdown. Panic and shouting could be heard from across the hall and the security alarm announced the potential danger.

"Close any and all passageways on each floor. All workers are to enforce strict measures to maintain order."

"The surveillance system is down! It seems like we've been hit by some sort of EMP attack!"

Static waves were spreading around the metal frames and the prison doors of the isolation block unlocked. Overhaul could hear the commotion outside and the villains leaving their cells in a hurry, but as much as he tried, he couldn't push the heavy doors open.

"3 seconds until we're back online- wait... What the... With the system down we can't monitor the inside!"

"Nice, 3 seconds be damned." he beat the door with his legs, pushed the surface with his shoulders, leaned all of his weight on the godforsaken thing just so it could finally open. Nothing. It seems like he lost a couple of pounds during his stay here. He couldn't believe his eyes, this couldn't be happening to him. After all this time of patient waiting and hoping to meet pops once again, it turns out he'd be the only one still trapped and all because he didn't have any hands. He panicked, he really couldn't decide on what to do next. But then he remembered-

"Go beat your head against the bars, loser."

That's it! This might be his only chance to escape! He didn't have much time left though, he could hear the shooting nearby so he definitely needed to hurry.

"The system won't come back on!! The ones in solitary confinement are breaking out!! Inside!"

"Control unit's on site!! Execute lockdown in the isolation block!"

"Follow procedure! If even one of them steps a foot outside their cell-"

"Fire!! Open fire!!"

Muscular threw whatever he could find in this messed up place back at them, excitement prominent in his big smile "You ain't gonna kill me with those puny toys! So how about you show me the exit already?!"

Other villains were joining him, still overwhelmed by the sudden freedom they've been given "Dammit... After all that time..."

"Meat..." Moonfish mumbled as he cut his opponents with his blade-like teeth.

The villain lady joined them in the run, still carefully examining her surroundings in case they were tricked into something, "The system isn't responding to my Quirk. 'Guess Tartarus really is falling."

As she was running down the corridor, she could hear beating noises coming from one of the doors. It sounded dull so the person must have been using their head.

"Eh, don't tell me the idiot actually listened to my advice. He must be desperate."

She came to the doors and turned the circular lock in a hurry. She really didn't want to stay in this place any longer, but she couldn't leave him behind either. It's not like she could use him for anything since he was basically handless and Quirkless so why was she doing it? She didn't have an answer. Maybe it was their talk from the other day, maybe because they were both gang members with a history, maybe because of her regrets and her wish to do something right for once. Or maybe because she was just this kind. Nah, this couldn't be it, she never did anything in her life that didn't require a certain purpose. She cast her heart aside a long time ago and did what was necessary for the accomplishment of the mission. It would be weird if she suddenly started using her heart again, now wouldn't it? She was AFO's personal assassin, there was simply no way.

He came out of the room with eyes wide in puzzlement. He was finally free and ready to find pops so he could possibly revive him and try to fix things as much as he could.

They looked at each other for the first time. They never said it aloud, godforbid, but they liked the other's eyes. And perhaps the eyes were a window to a person's soul, their broken souls, tormented by the life's temptations. They were still so young, probably in their twenties, and yet they looked older at the same time. Maybe because of the seriousness in their faces, their stronger stance, the way they defied their fate. They were destined to fall apart, no one would argue with it, but circumstances drove them to take action and rise from the bottomless chasm. And now they had each other.

"We need to get out of here," she stated and pulled him by the sleeve that hung loosely from his shoulder. They escaped Tartarus and raided a small shop near the coast to change clothes and to mingle into the public unnoticed. She quickly picked out a dress and threw herself at work while Overhaul was still standing by the shop display, looking out for the potential intruders.

He couldn't erase the thought of this being some sort of a really weird first date; the girl coming out of the stall and the guy examining her looks. He shook his head, he never had this kind of thoughts in his entire life. He needed to pull himself together.

The bob-hair came out and adjusted the ammo on her utility belt. He looked at her from the corner and she was stunning; intimidating with a tad bit of femininity in design. He stood there and watched how good it fit her curvy form. The thoughts wandering in his head sounded so wrong, terribly wrong. He needed to bring himself to stop.

"Oh right, I almost forgot." she took a shirt off the shelf and came to him, showing him the garment in her hands "You need a little help, right?"

"Sure.'' his voice was small and he stood still while she undid his buttons. Maybe from the outside he looked completely calm, but from the inside he was a complete mess. He looked at her face and wondered if she knew, the kind of effect she's having on him. She raised her head and he looked to the side, there's no way he could look her in the eyes at this point. He hoped she didn't notice.

"You like this one, don't you?" she asked, filling the awkward silence.

"Looks don't matter, the most important thing is to change and avoid getting caught." She looked annoyed. Great. He wanted to shove his head though the wall. Wait… Why was he thinking that?

"I choose the clothes I like. It makes me feel better in my skin."

"You look good in it."

She looked at him surprised and he quickly corrected himself "the dress looks good."

"Sure." she trailed off and put the new shirt over his shoulders. She could feel his muscles tensing. This was probably because of the cool air, she assured herself.

"Why did you break me out of Tartarus? It's not like I could be of any use to you."

She buttoned up his shirt and fixed the wrinkled parts on the garment, hand accidentally brushing over the left side of his chest, feeling his heartbeat.

Well... that was a surprise.

"I thought that maybe you could be of some use to the demon lord. Not Quirk-wise, but you may offer a valuable set of information. Something that the demon lord would appreciate greatly." she could feel it slowing down and her heart dropped just as much.

"But also because I... liked you."

He looked at her incredulously and she smiled. She pinched him to bring him out of the trance and he complained. "Don't be awkward, say something."

"I like you too... I, this is my first time I ever said this to anyone. It's weird."

She slapped him gently on the shoulder and he reached to take it but, yea, no hands.

"What the hell?"

"You're the one who's weird. But I guess that I like you this way." she stood on her toes and kissed his cheek "Ew, you should definitely shave though. No doubt about it."

The former yakuza boss swore; he'll never understand women. But for some reason he couldn't deny that he was particularly drawn to this one. He wondered if pops would approve of her.

#bnha #boku no hero academia #mha #my hero academia #overhaul #chisaki kai #sniperhaul #shie hassaikai #ch 311 #bnha spoilers #bnha fic #crack ship #parody

128 notes · View notes

butgilinsky · 4 years ago

Text

all i’ve ever wanted // np

warning; language, alcohol ig, angsty angst, not proofread bc fuck that

summary; the two of you were supposed to beat the odds, but that proves to be harder than you originally planned.

word count; 6.3k+

add yourself to my nhl taglist!

this wasn’t supposed to happen. not to the two of you. not like this. you and nolan were supposed to work through everything. you were supposed to beat the odds, supposed to go the distance. you were supposed to work through everything together, no matter how hard it got sometimes.

it wasn’t supposed to end. not ever, not now, and especially not like this.

you tried to tell yourself that you did everything you could’ve possibly done to make things work. you told yourself that you were trying, truly, but it just didn’t work for whatever reason.

things had been tough lately, for the both of you, separately and collectively. you didn’t thinks could get much harder than they had when you first moved to philadelphia. you had just overcome everyone in your life warning you about moving for a boy. they’d tell you to be careful, and you’d tell them the same thing every single time.

he’s not some guy i met in a bar one night. he’s nolan, and i can’t spend the rest of my life with him if we live in different continents.

and for the most part, that was true. you and nolan had known each other too long to even remember when you met each other. it felt like you had already spent an entire lifetime with nolan, so what was one more, really?

you didn’t realize that you’d end up here, three years later in the middle of an apartment that suddenly made your stomach twist uncomfortable as you drank through the suffocating thoughts swimming through your head. you didn’t know how long it had been since nolan left, but you knew that it had been a while. he left as the sun set, which you only knew because you remember the golden hue that peaked through the curtains and draped over his face beautifully. now it was dark, dark enough for the tv to be the only reason you could see the bottles of wine that laid across the coffee table.

you thought about everything that had happened between the two of you. you thought about the time he kissed you for the first time, how it felt like you were flying to finally feel his lips against yours. he had just taken you home after your group of friends had gone out for fries and milkshakes. you were smiling at him in a way that had him moving before he thought too much about it, kissing you over the center console of his car and gripping onto you like he’d never be able to kiss you again after this.

you thought about the time he was called to be captain of the wheat kings, and how nothing in the world had made him smile so wide. you remember the hug he gave you when he saw you, lifting you off of your feet with the momentum he built up as he ran over to you. his arms were wrapped so tightly around you you could barely breathe, but it didn’t matter when he smiled at you like that. nothing mattered when he smiled at you like that.

you thought about when he got drafted, how he never would’ve said it out loud, but being second pick wasn’t what he had built up for. he was excited to go to philly, but you knew he wanted that first pick title, even if he’d never say it.

you thought about when he asked you to move with him. he didn’t think he could do it without you, and you weren’t sure you’d be able to do anything without him. you remembered the grin that spread across his lips when you told him you would, that you wanted to do anything and everything with him, for the rest of your life.

you thought about the last few months, and how nolan had drifted away from you. how he pushed you away when all you wanted was to feel close to him again. you thought about how he would come home after long days and want nothing more than to just crawl into bed and fall asleep. you’d let him, because all you wanted was for him to be happy.

you thought about how he left a few hours ago, telling you to not expect him back for the rest of the night. you thought about how your heart shattered into a million, unrecoverable pieces when he told you that he couldn’t do this anymore. that he couldn’t be with you anymore.

you thought about how everyone told you to not move for him. they told you to wait until you were sure, until there was a ring on your finger that told you that the two of you would be together. and then you thought about how you didn’t listen to any of them because this was nolan, and you were more sure about him than you were about anything else in your entire life.

you thought about how you should’ve listened to them.

you didn’t move when the lock clicked or when the knob turned, not even when the door was shoved open and the light in the entry way turned on. you couldn’t move, couldn’t turn to face anyone that was walking in through the door because if it was nolan, you were sure to fall apart in your place on the couch.

you thought nolan walking through the door would’ve been the worst case scenario, but the look on travis’s face was far worse than anything you could’ve thought up in that moment.

the look of sympathy draped across his face had you crumbling in seconds, your chest caving in as you lost your breath completely. sobs raked through you so quickly that you couldn’t even try to stop them. travis was on the couch in seconds, letting you fall into his chest as he did his best to console you, but he knew that nothing he could do would be enough.

he didn’t know what happened, just that nolan was an idiot to give up on what the two of you had built. he’d been in philadelphia for almost four years now, and you’d been there every single step of the way. you’d built a life here, and you were considering throwing it all away now.

you couldn’t be in this city if nolan was here. nolan was the only reason you moved here, and the biggest reason you stayed after all this time. everything in this city reminded you of him, and he had you thinking of the easiest way to move back to winnipeg. but then you realized that that everything there would remind you of him, that nowhere was fresh of nolan. everywhere, everything reminded you of him.

“i can’t stay here, tk.” it took an hour for you to finally speak. your voice was hoarse, and it hurt your throat, but you had to say it.

“i’d offer you my place, but” you nodded, knowing that that was the first place nolan would’ve found refuge in. you appreciated the gesture, but you weren’t sure that travis’s apartment would’ve felt any better.

“i mean philly. i don’t know if i can stay here.” travis sucked in a sharp breath when the realization dawned on him.

he didn’t know the magnitude of everything that had happened. nolan had been less than explanatory when he showed up at travis’s apartment hours ago, muttering just enough for travis to realize what was going on. of course he’d let nolan stay there for as long as he wanted to, but he was hoping that there was a way for the two of you to fix this. you had to fix this. it was you and nolan. he hadn’t known either of you separately, only together. he had a friendship with both of you, but the other was always a part of your personality.

and now, all of that was changing.

he tried to talk you out of it, tried to tell you that this was irrational thinking and you were just running away from something that wasn’t certain just yet. he told you that the wine had you thinking irrationally, that you were acting impulsively and there were so many things you had to think about before you packed up your entire life and fled the city you’d made home.

but that was the thing. the only thing that made philadelphia feel like home was nolan. he was the only reason you felt at peace here, and that all changed the moment he walked out earlier.

i can’t do this anymore, y/n. i can’t be with you anymore.

you replayed the words over and over again, reminding yourself that this was real, and it was happening. you listened to travis talk you out of it, listened to him insist that there was a different way to go about this entire situation.

truthfully, travis didn’t want to lose you. he had built a solid friendship with you. there were things that you helped him with that nolan couldn’t. he saw you as so much more than nolan’s girlfriend, and he found himself growing a ball of animosity in his chest towards his best friend for ruining this.

he gave up when you paused your packing, looking at him with teary eyes and a wobbling bottom lip. he listened to you say that you would fall apart if you tried to stay here. he listened when you said that you already called your boss, you had already asked for a transfer, and though she was confused, she told you she’d work on it.

travis hadn’t realized there had been enough time for you to truly think all of this through and make arrangements already, but you did. so he let you pack, even helped you when you asked for him to hand you things on the opposite side of the room.

you were digging through your closet, looking for anything that couldn’t be left behind when you felt the small box in the palm of your hand. your body stilled, your heart thudding against your chest harshly as you pulled it out of the back of your closet with shaky fingers and eyes that filled to the brim with tears once more.

“tk.” the broken tone had him crossing the room in seconds, reaching for you in confusion and worry before his eyes landed on the small box.

“give it to me.” you hadn’t opened it yet, you weren’t sure if you could. if you opened it, it made it real. if you opened it, you’d have too many questions that you weren’t sure you’d ever get answers to. “y/n, give me the box.”

“is there a ring inside of this?” you looked at travis, watching the way his eyes fell to his feet for a moment as he looked for the right words. “how long has he had this?”

“y/n-”

“how long, travis?” your voice dropped to a tone that travis hadn’t heard in a long time. a tone you reserved for when things were unmistakably bad, toeing the line of irreversible.

“a few months.” your eyes moved back to the box, taking in the way that the velvet felt against your skin before travis was covering it with his own hand and taking it from you.

he was surprised when you sniffled, pushed your shoulders back and went back to packing as if you hadn’t just found a box that undoubtedly held an engagement ring inside of it. an engagement ring that should’ve been on your finger, should’ve been committed to your memory by now. an engagement ring you’d never get to see.

an engagement ring that would never belong to you.

he took you to the airport after you’d packed everything you thought you’d need for now. he promised to send the rest of your things as soon as you told him where you were going, though he immediately regretted agreeing to not tell nolan wherever you’d end up.

you hugged him before going through security, thanking him for everything he had done for you tonight and every day that you’d been in philadelphia. as much as you told yourself you would’ve never gotten here without nolan, you knew that the sentiment reached out for travis as well.

“hey.” you tugged on his shirt sleeve softly, bringing his attention back up to you for a moment. “just because nolan and i-” you bit your bottom lip when it started to wobble, doing your best to keep your tears at bay for the first time tonight. “you and i are still good. we’re still friends. you don’t have to choose.”

he smiled then, hugging you tighter than he’d ever hugged you before. then you were turning and walking away, leaving him to sulk on the way back to his car. when he got home he made no effort to be quiet, slamming every door and dropping everything to the ground with no mind at how loud he was being.

“tk, shut up.” nolan groaned, rolling over on the couch that was far less comfortable than the bed he should’ve been in back at his apartment.

“fuck off, pat. go home if you want to bitch at me.”

“you know i can’t go home, teeks-”

“she’s not there.” nolan sat up then, adjusting his eyes to the light that had been off just moments ago before he settled on travis. “she left.”

his mind raced, thoughts too loud for him to think straight. he knew he was the one that walked out, he was the one that broke up with you, but he hadn’t expected you to leave so quickly. he didn’t think you had anywhere to go, anyone to stay with. that’s why he left, that’s why he-

“she flew back home, pat. she’s gone.”

he’d never admit that his heart sank into his stomach, that he felt defeated over the thought that you had upped and left before the sun could set and rise. he didn’t realize you were capable of leaving so quickly, that you were capable of leaving at all.

“and she found the ring.” travis knew what he was doing as he fired off bits of information that nolan had no business knowing. he didn’t need to know that you flew home, or that you found the ring he bought for you while you packed your things. he didn’t need to know, but now he did. and he didn’t know if he wanted to know.

travis left the room after that, leaving nolan wide awake in the middle of the night as he rethought everything he’d done in the past few hours. everything he’d done in the past few months.

he didn’t know why he was drifting from you, why he allowed himself to do that. he never wanted to live without you. a life without you is a life he never wanted to be a part of, but he had just solidified that life for himself. he walked out on you, and now he was feeling the weight of it all crashing down onto him.

he thought about the look on your face when he said it, when he reached for his keys and turned to leave the apartment. he remembered your eyes filled to the brim with tears that you wouldn’t dare spill, and the way you were chewing so hard on your bottom lip that he thought you would draw blood.

he thought about how defeated you looked over the last few weeks, every time you’d reach out to him and he’d deny you. he thought about how you’d roll over to the edge of your side of the bed, clutching onto your pillow in search of the comfort he no longer gave you.

he thought about how things used to be so easy, how it used to be different. nothing used to feel like this, especially not with you. he found himself excited for roadies, and dreading the return home, and he had no idea why. it was supposed to be how it was when you were back in winnipeg. he was supposed to want nothing more than to feel how he would when he would come home from brandon, or when you’d drive out to him.

he thought about when he bought the ring a few months back. he thought about thinking that you were going to love it, that he was going to love asking you to marry him and hoping more than anything that you’d say yes. he wondered how things changed after that, how things ended up the way that they were now when they were so good not too long ago.

the sun rose before his thoughts allowed him the time to breathe. he was drowning in himself, and he knew that there was nothing he could do to stop it. he did this. he walked out on you and now he was dealing with the repercussions.

he expected travis to be cold when he woke up, shocked to see travis shooting him a sympathetic smile when he told nolan it was time to leave for practice. he was even more surprised when he offered to go up to his apartment with him to grab his stuff before heading to the rink.

it was six months before you saw him again. you had avoided him when both of you were in winnipeg, denying invitations from your friends in order to give nolan time with them. you didn’t want to be in the same place as him, but you weren’t going to make it difficult for him to see his friends in the short time he’d be home.

you thought new york was big enough. you thought it would give you great odds at not seeing him. you stayed away from every ice rink in new york, feeling nausea bubble up at the thought of stepping foot anywhere near anything that could remotely remind you of hockey.

you knew he’d be in town. the flyers were playing the islanders, but you thought that gave you enough distance between the two of you. you thought you had done everything right up until now. you didn’t call or text him, you didn’t keep up with his stats or the flyers at all. your extent of flyers knowledge came from occasional conversations with travis, where nolan was strategically left on a list of topics you weren’t allowed to bring up.

the odds of seeing him had to be one in a million. it should’ve been nearly impossible for him to end up here, in the same building as you, but it happened.

you felt the wind being knocked out of you when your eyes met his. you stood on opposite sides of the room, neither of you making a move towards or away from one another. your muscles tensed, your mind racing so fast it made you dizzy, but you didn’t dare break eye contact with him.

his hair was shorter, his arms slightly bigger. he looked good, really good. you scolded yourself for thinking such a thing, but it was true. nolan always looked good, and you guessed that the last six months had ended with him channeling things into working out, because he looked too good to be doing the same thing he’d been doing for the past five years.

you only tore your eyes away from him when a hand gripped your elbow softly, pulling your attention away from nolan and over to brady, who was glancing down at you with worry pulling at his features.

“you okay?” you looked back in the direction nolan was just in, finding it empty as he had seemingly disappeared. you looked around for a minute, trying to find out if you had been seeing things or if that had truly just happened. “y/n.”

“yeah, yeah. sorry, just, saw someone i used to know.” he gave you a confused look but nodded, handing you the drink he had just ordered for you before pulling you back in the direction of your friends.

you hadn’t seen nolan after that, hadn’t even heard from him. you did, however, check the score of the flyers v. isles game, and smiled when you saw they had won. you found yourself flicking through the details of the game, and smiling wider at the fact that nolan had scored two of the five goals in the game, and had another assist to tack onto it.

you found yourself falling into more bad habits, like watching flyers games when you were home with nothing else to do, ignoring the fact that you had made sure you had no plans on specific nights. you kept up with nolan’s game as loosely as you could, trying not to throw yourself into a pit of despair over a boy you hadn’t spoken to in over six months.

a few months later you found yourself at home, lying across your parents’ couch while your family spoke animatedly about a movie you hadn’t seen. you laughed at one liners your sister would throw in, and rolled your eyes when your brother and your dad argued about if the original or the sequel was better.

then your phone rang, and you were unsure of what to expect but you answered anyways. you told yourself you couldn’t do it, that you shouldn’t do it. there was little room for you to do such a thing without tripping over yourself all over again, but you found yourself grabbing your keys and saying goodbye to your parents before you could think about it too much.

you weren’t dressed to be at the lake, not even slightly, but you couldn’t find yourself to care as you spotted the familiar car parked next the rest of your friends’. the same car he kissed you in for the first time, and the same car he would continue to kiss you in for years to come.

you shut off your car and stepped out before you could convince yourself to turn around. you pulled your jeans up over your hips and shut the door, grabbing the attention of the few that were on the same side of the lake that you had just pulled up to.

“y/n!” you smiled at your friends, offering them a wave and a light greeting.

you offered a small amount of small talk before your eyes found the person you’d come for, sitting on a blanket you recognized within seconds all by himself.

“go talk to him.”

your feet carried you over, stopped only once more by the sound of your name that had you laughing gently as you waved across the water before finally standing in front of the blanket you were headed for.

“do you have room for one more?” his lips pulled into a smile when he nodded, giving you the room to sit beside him.

he didn’t know how to feel about the way your jeans brushed against the side of his knee. the rough material was almost uncomfortable, but he wasn’t going to move away from you. he wanted you as close to him as you would allow him to be, and the fact that it was close enough for your legs to bump against one another brought a warmth to his chest that he hadn’t felt in what felt like forever.

“why are you sitting over here by yourself?” he found himself smiling at the sound of your voice, almost not registering your question as he felt honored just hearing you speak to him after all this time.

“not in the mood to socialize i guess.” he shrugged gently, and you rolled your eyes.

“winnipeg nolan is far more outgoing than you’re giving yourself credit for.” he laughed gently at the name, forgetting how you used to tease him about his separation between his life in winnipeg and his life in philadelphia.

“philly nolan is an idiot.” his voice was soft, but you heard him. he could tell by the way you sucked in your cheek to chew on it lightly. “you’ll chew another hole through your cheek if you keep doing that.”

you laughed then, releasing your cheek from the grip of your teeth as you thought back on the memory he dug out of your subconscious. it was before you were dating, when you had to get a root canal and your mouth was so numb that you chewed a hole through your cheek without realizing it.

it was nice to be able to act like things were normal, even if it was only for a minute. it felt like nothing bad had happened, like you hadn’t left so many things unsaid when he walked out of the apartment and you left philadelphia. it felt like things were almost how they used to be, and neither of you wanted to shift it in the direction that it needed to go.

“how’s new york?” the corner of your mouth tugged up gently, but it fell a few moments later, not being able to find too much serenity in the reminder that he had seen you just a few months back.

“hectic.” you breathed out, bringing your knees up to your chest before you wrapped your arms around them.

"and your boyfriend?” your eyebrows pulled together, confusion evident in your features when you turned to meet his eyes. but then it sunk in, and your mouth shot up into a wide smile before a laugh was falling past your lips.

you fell back onto the blanket, eyes screwed shut as you tried to muffle your laughter underneath the palm of your hand. when you came down, nolan was staring at you curiously, unsure of what spurred your laughing fit.

“brady? i’m not exactly his type.” you shook your head, still laughing gently. nolan rolled his eyes, breathing out a gentle sigh before speaking up.

“well that sucks for him. i don’t know a single person that wouldn’t jump at the opportunity-”

“brady’s gay, nol.” his lips clamped shut, forming a thin line before he breathed out a gentle laugh of his own.

“well that’s embarrassing.” his cheeks turned pink as he faced away from you, trying to focus back on anything other than the way he just made a fool of himself in front of you.

you lifted your hand up to his elbow and gripped it gently, grabbing his attention before pulling on it just enough to get him to lie back with you. he set the bottle he was nursing aside and faced the sky, your knees and elbows bumping as the two of you tried to avoid the grass.

“dragon.” you said softly, hearing nolan scoff in return. the sound alone made you smile, feeling like things were as simple as they used to be.

“no way you see a dragon from that.” you laughed softly, a sound nolan was scared he’d never hear again. “it’s a spaceship, for sure.”

“bullshit!”

the two of you argued over cloud shapes for a few minutes until a thick silence fell over you. neither of you wanted to bring it up first, but you knew it had to come up at some point. the whole reason you were called here was to talk to him, and though you had been doing that, you were avoiding the inevitable.

“do you want to go for a drive?” you turned towards him, your faces closer than you expected them to be.

your noses almost brushed against each other, and you watched the way nolan’s eyes fell to your lips for a moment longer than they should have. it brought a familiar feeling to your stomach, a feeling you had never felt with anyone besides nolan.

“yeah.” you breathed softly, telling yourself to move from this position before you pushed your lips against his, but you didn’t move a muscle.

“we can’t go on a drive if you don’t move.” he whispered, and watched you roll your eyes but smile regardless.

“you haven’t moved either.” he laughed gently then, and despite everything in him telling him to just stay still, to wait for your move, he pulled himself up onto his feet and offered you his hands.

you gripped onto them, pulling yourself up to your feet with ease. you stood chest to chest for a moment, closer than you had been just a minute ago.

“we should go.” you nodded, but waited for him to take a step back, his hands falling from yours as he grabbed the bag he brought and fished his keys out of it.

you followed him to the car, ignoring the looks you were getting from all of your friends as you reached for the handle. you didn’t ask where you were going, and you truly didn’t care. being in this car, beside nolan, was enough for you, even if it wasn’t going to end the way you so desperately wished it would.

he kept both of his hands on the steering wheel, something he rarely ever did. his knuckles turned white, and you could tell he was fighting the urge to reach out to you. you weren’t sure he even knew how to keep his hands to himself when the two of you were alone. nolan wasn’t a big pda guy, but when you were alone, he practically always had a hand on you.

you smiled when you noticed the familiar path, beginning to guess every turn before he took it, only to end up in the place you had predicted. the small park had been a place the two of you visited from a young age, but the small path behind it was where you went when you got to old to use the slides or the swings.

“i haven’t been here in such a long time.” you said it more to yourself, but the smile that didn’t reach nolan’s eyes told you he heard you.

“neither have i.” it shocked you, though it probably shouldn’t have. why would he have come here? it was built for kids. not for 22 year old NHL players.

you sat on a bench, talking about what your lives looked like now, though you both knew where this conversation would end up at some point. he talked about the team, talked about how they were doing and the games he missed due to his injuries, and you offered him a warm, sympathetic smile.

you were confused when he stood up and told you he wanted to show you something before walking back to the car. you watched him dive into the backseat before shoving something in his pocket and walking back over to you.

you were getting nervous, especially when you saw the look on his face when he sat back beside you. you sucked in a sharp breath when he pulled the familiar bow out of is pocket, twirling it around in his hand as his eyes avoided yours.

“i think i psyched myself out. i think i let myself believe that this is what you needed, that it’s what you wanted. i told myself it’s what i wanted, and it was, it is, but i let it get to my head.” your eyes watched his fingers fiddle with the small box until he turned to you, your eyes meeting as he wore a soft smile.

“i told myself that this is what was next, and if i couldn’t give it to you then i wasting your time.”

“you were never wasting my time.” you found your voice finally, feeling the cut wrenching feeling from that night come back, though it was much duller now than it had been then.

“i fucked up. i fucked it all up.” you sighed softly, not finding the words that you knew you should’ve told him. because in all honesty, he did fuck it all up, and he was scared there wouldn’t be a chance to redeem himself.

“i never told you we had to get married, nol.”

“i know, i know. i wanted to, i really did, but then i got scared, i guess. i stressed myself out with the entire idea of marriage and how it would’ve changed things and then i fucked it all up.” you bit on the inside of your cheek, letting your shoulders relax as you listened to him explain what was going on inside of his head when he walked out on you.

“i wanted to marry you. i want to marry you. i’ve never wanted that with anybody else in my entire life, and i don’t think i ever will. i know i won’t. i know it sounds crazy, and we’re still so young, and now we’ve been separated for what feels like years, but-” he paused, reaching up to tug on his hair gently before letting out a heavy sigh.

“but?” he looked up at you, his eyes connecting with yours and sending shock waves through you before taking a deep breath.

“but all i want is you. i wake up, and i hope that by some stroke of luck, you’ll be beside me. i come home from roadies and i hope that for some reason, you’ll be sitting in the living room, waiting for me. i hope that you’ll show up one day because i don’t have the courage to do it myself. i hope that even though i fucked everything up, that i’ll find a way to fix it. because all i want, all i’ve ever wanted, is you.”

your chest tightened with every word, your eyes building up the same dam of tears they had back in philly.

“and i know you live in new york now, and i don’t expect you to leave all of that behind, but i don’t think i can keep this to myself anymore, y/n.” you nodded slowly, watching him push the box open with the pad of his thumb.

the audible gasp that left you pulled confusion out of him. he watched you stare at the ring, so delicately placed in the middle of the base of the box.

"you seem surprised.” he spoke through a small laugh, and you tried to sniffle in hopes that it would keep your tears at bay.

“i’m not surprised, i’m just, wow. nolan, this is fucking gorgeous.”

“tk said you found it before you left.” you let out a soft laugh as you reached up to wipe the wetness out of your eyes.

“i didn’t open it.” you shook your head gently as you looked back at him, watching realization dawn on him once more.

“i know it’s a lot to ask, especially after all this time. we live in different places, and maybe it’ll be harder now than it ever has been, but i need to ask. i need to ask because i want to try, y/n. fuck being scared, fuck what people think. i don’t care about anything of that shit anymore. i want you, all of you. i want the life we were meant to have, and i’ll do everything it takes to get there.”

you were crying, but you were smiling, which made nolan smile. he reached for your cheeks, wiping the wet trails off of your skin before resting his forehead against yours.

“nolan.” you gripped his wrist in your hand gently and felt him pull back to look at you, his eyes burning into yours. “i want all of that, more than anything, but i can’t pretend like all of this shit didn’t happen. i can’t jump straight back into it, no matter how badly i want to.”

he nodded, a gentle smile playing at his lips before he pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“we don’t have to pick up where we left off. i’d actually prefer it if we didn’t, but i want to work towards it. i want to marry you, even if it’s ten years from now.” you let out a small laugh, one that made his smile reach further up on his cheeks.

“i’d really like that.” you spoke softly before a pair of lips were pressed against yours.

you tried not to let yourself melt too far into it, tried to keep your feet flat on the ground, but that was impossible with nolan’s lips pressed against yours. when his lips touched yours, you lived in a world where nothing bad ever happened. it felt like everything was right, everything was whole.

he pulled back far too soon, but when he pressed another soft kiss to your lips, much quicker than the last, and pressed his forehead against yours, you seceded.

“will you still take the ring? i want you to have it.” you laughed softly and nodded, holding out your hand for him to slip it onto your finger.

you melted at the sight of nolan sliding a dainty ring onto your finger before lifting your hand and kissing your knuckles softly. it was a sight you hoped you’d see one day, even if this is how it happened.

“what happens when we do get engaged? do i have to give it back to you?” he laughed, a real, guttural laugh that had your heart absolutely soaring.

“i’ll get you another one.”

“oh god, am i going to be one of those girls with rings on all of her fingers?” you whined, not wanting to end up with a ring for every time nolan made a mistake, but it just made him laugh and pull you over into his lap.

“just the two. and a wedding band. you’re obviously getting a wedding band.” you rolled your eyes but reached out, cupping his face in your hands before pressing a kiss to his lips again.

“i love you.” he smiled widely against your lips, thinking that he had never missed a simple phrase so much in his entire life.

“i love you so much.” he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you into him impossibly closer. “we’ll figure everything out, right?”

you smiled and nodded, rubbing the pad of your thumb over the skin of his cheek.

“we’ll figure it all out.”

nolpat taglist; @extratragic @shelbsays @teenagekook @stfukie @kiedhara

#nolan patrick #nolan x reader #nolan patrick x reader #flyers #nhl #philadelphia flyers #nhl fic #hockey fic

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chitsangenthusiast · 4 years ago

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good afternoon i bring with me a (slightly rough) wip of zuko getting to see his daughter for the first time after she's born <3

(featuring some zuko teasing bc the gaang can't help it even at his daughter's birth, and sokka also getting to hold her!!)

—

She’s born in the middle of a scorching summer, under the gaze of a shining moon and on a bed covered in caribou-hare pelts.

Zuko knows when she’s arrived; he’s already crossed the length of the reception room by the time the clamor behind the separating screen abruptly cuts into a breathless silence, and his heart beats in expectation when Suki pokes her head out. She’s exhausted, she’s excited, and she’s dragging him in before he can even fathom any kind of thought.

He comes in just as the midwife finishes in clearing her nose and mouth, to reveal a tiny face and the full sound of his daughter’s fair wail.

Daughter.

Zuko stumbles.

A bubble of absolute glee spills from his mouth as he’s pushed into a chair next to the bed because, from here, he has an even better view. Poking out above her little arm is a head covered in a wet smattering of dark hair and already full eyebrows, with impossibly round cheeks showing off pouting lips and red gums while she cries. She’s loud, she’s announcing her presence, she’s so small.

Zuko chokes on an exhilarated gasp. That’s his daughter.

He reaches out, then falters. As he watches her settle into the soothing warmth of bare skin, all he wants is to fall forward to her, to tuck her into him and rest his hand on her small back to feel how she lifts the entirety of her body as he cries and breathesin her first moments. But he’s not sure who he can touch or even what he can touch on the bed, and he instead throws an absentmindedly desperate hand out to stop himself from grabbing at the furs as he works to remember how to properly take in air.

Someone grabs it—Sokka, he can tell by the calluses on his fingers—and directs it down. Instantly, instinctively, Zuko splays his fingers to cradle her head and strokes his thumb over his daughter’s ear.

His hand curls perfectly around her, and he chokes on another exhilarated sob.

“Katara—”

“She’s beautiful,” Katara immediately returns. Her eyes flit up to Zuko’s, just for a moment, before sliding back down to the baby resting on her stomach. She’s holding a tiny fist in her own hand, running tired fingers up and down a forearm, and she can’t look away either. She’s crying, Zuko realizes, tears just like his own, and she shakes out little relieved sniffles when he and Sokka quickly clasp her heaving shoulders. Katara’s head falls back to the pillows—from the exhaustion, from the relief of their touch, from those strong, healthy cries—and her hand joins Zuko’s on his daughter’s head as she lets out a breathless laugh. “Oh wow, she’s really perfect, Zuko.”

“Thank you,” he gasps out, and then no other words come. His face is a reservoir of open gratitude even when he can’t get anything else out, he knows Katara understands him when she lightly runs a thumb against his hand in response to his spasming grip on her shoulder.

Thank you.

Aang is let in shortly after, buzzing out of his body as he rushes to Katara’s side, with Azula jumping at the chance to barrel inside too. He’s been through this before with Bumi, but his hands still shake slightly as he cups her face and leans down to kiss her forehead with a long, deep inhale. Katara reaches out a free hand to hold onto him, and just smiles at the comfort of his happiness.

Her other hand is still in Zuko’s grasp. He hasn’t been able to bring himself to let go just yet, even after moving to the other side of the bed so that his good ear could better pick up her murmuring, or after her careful transfer of his daughter into his his bare arms, and now together they hold onto an exposed arm left out of the blanket.

Snatches of conversation happen around him, slight jostling occurs as everyone works on the after care, but Zuko is captivated only by the bundle in his arms. Their eyes are locked—she looks up at Zuko, and he stares right back. When Katara has to let go, he takes over to admire his daughter with his thumb, tracing it across her plump jawline, smoothing down the soft hair on her head and over her eyebrows.

Toward the end of the pregnancy, when Aang and Katara came to stay at the palace to prepare, Zuko used to sometimes stare at her. It was hard, trying to imagine what a child between them would look like, and a niggling thought that circled in the back of his mind—quietly, in a determined attempt to not let it fester too much—had him wishing, hoping that his daughter would have more of Katara in her than him. Beyond possibly gold-tinted eyes, what worth did his ancestry have to offer in the face of so much goodness from Katara’s?

(He got scolded for ruminating over this, then given an extremely long hug, and then scolded again for his incessant doting over a Katara who did not need to be doted over, much to Aang’s cackling amusement and Zuko’s embarrassed chagrin.)

But his daughter looks so much like him, and in such a breathtakingly sweet way that leaves him stunned. He can see the small flicks of her eyes moving as they roam over his face; they’re so light in color, tawny almost like how Azula’s were when she was born, and he wonders if they’ll be bright like his or darken into a strong amber like Uncle’s. She also has his nose, a wide little thing that he can’t help but bop a finger against, and her cheeks may be big but Zuko thinks she has his chin.

“It’s crazy how alert she already is,” Aang says, smiling as he peeks down at her across the bed. “I hope her cries get louder though, she needs those firebender lungs so she can shout like you can, Zuko.”

“Don’t do that to me,” Azula instantly scoffs, taking her place next to her brother, then smirks at his lukewarm glare. “I can only handle one loudmouth at a time, and Zuzu is plenty already.”

“Hey—”

Sokka snorts, and responds faster than Zuko can continue. “Well, when she’s right, she’s right.”

Suki overtakes their snickering with a bright burst of laughter, and his daughter’s head rolls toward the noise. “I thought blessings for babies by airbenders were supposed to be good-natured?”

“Oh, sure,” Aang laughs as he takes a cool cloth from her to wipe at Katara’s neck. “She will have a loving heart, an inquisitive mind, and a steadfast head on her shoulders that will push her through anything she sets herself to achieve. But I also hope she gets a set of good strong lungs, just so Zuko can see what we’ve put up with over the years.”

“Can you all be nice to me for five seconds,” Zuko grumps lightly. “I’m literally holding my child right now.”

“I think Aang’s gonna be right too,” Sokka happily jumps back in, dropping a heavy hand on Zuko’s shoulder as he leans over him to coo into her space. “She’s already got his frown.”

“Sokka!” Katara chides, but her laughter is still the loudest above everyone else’s at the falsely disgruntled scowl they receive—which is indeed replicated perfectly on that little face. “You know you can’t say things like that, or she’s going to end up looking like you!”

Sokka just chuckles, and the happy sound thrums through Zuko’s nerves. He’s pulled back already, giving him room to curl around his daughter like she’ll be able to protect him from the teasing—and Zuko forcibly swallows down the heavy desire to pull him back in.

“If that happens, it’ll only be because we look like, Katara.”

“Alright, move over punks!” Toph is as gleefully brash as ever when she steps into room with Lin on her hip and Iroh following close behind her, but Zuko can see the excitement lighting up her face as she beelines over. “Stop hogging the kid!”

Suki makes quick work to take Lin from her while Aang moves to pull Bumi from Iroh’s arms, and the four of them maneuver themselves onto the bed around Katara. She grouses lightly, but still looks incredibly contented to now have her son within arm’s reach. Iroh moves to take up residence on Zuko’s free side next to Sokka, and rests his hand on Zuko’s other shoulder.

“Oh, nephew,” he breathes out in deep admiration, and Zuko can feel his elation all the way down to his bones. “What a remarkable little beauty you have there.”

“Do you want to hold her?” he asks, after Iroh has showered Katara with a slew of his own sincere appreciation. Katara shies a little at the praise, but her smile remains firm even as her eyes droop slightly, and Zuko has a feeling Aang may soon kick them all out into another room to let her sleep.

Iroh’s steady joy though is infectious, and the room alights with an even more blanketing warmth from it. He reaches out eagerly to gingerly take her into his arms, and his eyes shine as he coos down at his granddaughter.

“Welcome to the world, little one,” Iroh hums, “There are great things in store for you here, just you wait and see.”

Azula gets to hold her next. Not for as long as their uncle, too nervous to hold something so tiny yet also noticeably too unwilling to give her up, and Zuko feels his eyes start to prick as sheer happiness crashes over him at the sight.

Sokka is the third one, composure fully cracked and delighted tears flowing as he wetly hiccups between stunned laughter.

“What an awesome little kid,” he says, his watery grin is as wide as his eyes. He then carefully cradles one of her hands into his palm, and welcomes her with a gentle handshake.

“Hello, Izumi,” he murmurs, and Zuko’s heart sings. “It’s so good to finally see you.”

Zuko doesn’t have anything to say in response, burstingly overwhelmed.

Instead, he quietly marvels at how well Izumi fits into his arms as he brushes a finger over one of her eyebrows. He glances up, to commit to memory the full picture of them together—their eyes catch, and his breath hitches at the deep adoration he spies in those blue eyes.

Sokka shakes himself a beat later, and looks back down at Izumi with a blazing grin.

“Man, you really do look just like your dad, don’t you, little princess?”

She does, but she undeniably has pieces of Katara in her too. Her complexion is slightly darker, and there’s already a slight wave to her hair that Zuko idly traces in amazement. He’s somewhat certain she has Katara’s lips too, and she hasn’t smiled yet but the thought that she could also end up with that same spirited smile makes his chest ache in private joy. It’s thrilling, the notion that even when his friend isn’t around, Zuko will still be able to see her signature grin light up the Fire Nation.

Zuko glances back up while Sokka continues to look down at his daughter.

He allows himself a moment to stare.

And carefully, very carefully, he thinks about how Katara and Sokka have the same smile.

#dadka #this is a planned scene of a twoshot that i'm hoping to get up soon bc i just want it done lol #(that i've......been workin on since octobor riprippp)#((also sorry for completely dropping the ball on everything else i had promised for today! i uhhhhh did not get them done lmao rip))#did i disappear so i could crunch this out before i go antiquing? yes lmao #did i queue a bunch of dad zukka and izumi art for today? also yes lol #welcome to my birthday we're celebrating dad zukka and izumi in this house today!!!!#wipwed #wip wednesday #own post #my writing #long #long post

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0veil-ablaze0 · 4 years ago

Text

Boboiboy AU time, crossposted from my now inactive Wattpad.

Okay, so, Boboiboy and the elementals are siblings, okay? Got it?

Boboiboy is older by a year and the elementals are septuplets. Because I said so.

But plot twist, when the septuplets were born, they were deemed too weak to survive and Amato, who was excited to be a father of eight, is having none of that shit.

And yada yada, plot point, found ochobot, elemental powers and shit, y'know, the fun stuff.

So the elements acts like a life support, how? Idk either man.

One night, uhhhh, the septuplets got kidnapped and Amato angst ensue.

So, Boboiboy, our beloved powerless babey, is our protagonist, if it weren't obvious enough.

Amato in this AU could be a king/hero like in the original series and that makes Boboiboy the prince/son of the hero no one knows about because of the tragedy that struck boy.

Okay, yeah, Boboiboy, never found out about his missing brothers until like, ten. Of course, being a little ten year old and really wanted to be like his father, he wanted to search for them, but Amato's like, "no son, maybe when you're older."

And he did.

At four fucking teen.

He was sent to visit his grandfather, Tok Aba for one, to check on the old man, and two, protection. Boboiboy found Ochobot one fateful night and ye, insert Boboiboy and Gopal adventure music.

So, other main cast introduction:

• Gopal.

Friend of Boboiboy since he was ten, because fuck you, that's why. The only person who knows that Boboiboy is Amato's son, but ends up almost forgetting that.

Powers: Molecular Altercation

We all know how this powers works, and yes, first one to get their power from Ochobot is this guy bc we met the rest mid story.

•'Lightning Thief' or later known as Ada Da

A kid who kept on stealing from the neighborhood, including Tok Aba bc cocoa? Idk.

Powers: Elektrokinesis

Uh, since he never had proper guidance like Gopal, his powers only appears under distress. The only thing he can do at will is shock people. That is, until the duo met again and well, looks like the lighting thief got a new name and a better control over his powers and such.

•Yaya

A lovely girl next door, or town, I guess.

Powers: Barokinesis

After finding out that her powers are barokinesis rather than just, superhuman strength and flight, she could just force you to bow down to her if she wanted to. She might as well revoke your gravity privileges and float you off to space.

•Affan

Yaya's neighbor next door. A cheerful boy, but sometimes ends up being insensitive sometimes.

Powers: Aerokinesis

Lmao he's literally Aang but waking up and choosing violence first thing in the morning. In all seriousness, keep the boy in control.

•Ying

Some sweet, shy girl that the gang collectively decides to adopt. Ends up being the baddest bitch in town, girlboss moment.

Powers: Chronokinesis

We all know how this works, originally mistaken as super speed, she can alter time at will at a fair range, but since it's literally time powers, it takes a lot of energy. Puts you in a mini time loop bc you were talking shit about her friends.

•Fuchsite

Adopted grandson of one of the seven elemental heroes who decided to join Boboiboy's little found family while searching for his bio family gang

Powers: Geokinesis

Power is the most stable and controlled out of everyone because he was trained under his grandfather, when not relying on his powers, he could stand on his own using hand to hand combat.

•Fang

A mysterious boy once rival, now ally, adopted noble/child of hero Maskmana (s-shut)

Powers: Shadow Manipulation

Obviously not as strong as Molecular Altercations, Gravity, or Time. But he makes up for it with being a master shadow puppeteer, from tiny rats to dragons, the shadows of the galaxy is his personal kingdom.

•Brazen

A foreign boy known for his recklessness and rude tongue.

Powers: Pyrokinesis

We all know this, fire powers, one of the classic powers anyone has think of, though the same case as Ada Da, his powers only respond to emotions, this time: stress and pure jealousy. Jealousy to whom? You'll see.

•Geary

Brazen's younger, more 'perfect' twin. Not much to say other than the constant targeting of his dearest brother left him, kinda hurt, but easily brushed off.

Powers: Hydro/Cyrokinesis

Water and Ice, two sides of the same coin, just, depending on which surfaces first. His powers are a lot more stable considering, liquid and stuff like that is very flexible on surroundings, yeah, nothing else to add.

•Ochobot

Their robot friend from the beginning to the end.

Powers: Power Storage and Transfer, Teleportation

Nuff said

•Acacius

A pirates apprentice of the Sparo crew, naive and cute, but with the ability to kill you.

Powers: Agrokinesis

Unfortunately, not being able to harness it properly with the lack of plant life in the ship. Of course, he adapted by stealing some plants and practices with them, only for the plants to be thrown away by Captain Separo directly, his supposed father.

•???

A wise, quite egotistical, socially awkward young boy, being the book keeper of the ancient library of the past months after the library was left, abandoned

Powers: Photokinesis

Never finding out about it until the library, he trains until he reached perfection. The light shines through him like he was a prism, living life with fractured hues to fill his monochrome life.

I'll write extra stuff about this AU later, I'm lazy or asked.

#boboiboy #boboiboyau #gopal #ying #yaya #fang #mechamato #amato #since he's literally was mentioned #ochobot #kokotaim gang #boboiboy elementals #Lost but Found au

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beanst0ck · 4 years ago

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omg bby ur requests are open!! yesss i missed ur writing sm can i request some hcs for ukai w a latina s/o?? like she has tanned skin & sum curves and how the karasuno meets her? love u girl <3

i don’t write for ukai but you said tsukishima was ok so i hope you like it 👉👈

whether you’re a new student, transfer student, or whatever, tsukishima probably isn’t gonna notice you at first, sorry :p

don’t get salty tho, i said at first

when he does catch glimpses of you around school, cause let’s face it you’re probably gonna stick out, he’s gonna ask yamaguchi about you

“oh (y/n)? she’s new here, i think she arrived about a week ago.”

tsukishima was kinda shocked that it took him that long to notice you, but he went back to doing his thing

i don’t see him actually going up and talking to you, so let’s say that you two end up working together as partners for a group project

that way he HAS to talk to you and he’ll see just how wonderful you really are, cause let’s face it, you’re wonderful! if anyone disagrees istg ill throw hands

surprise surprise, you two got into a relationship, congrats you lucky son of a-

you don’t know what you love about him.. maybe it’s his sarcastic personality? maybe it’s his height? is it the fact that he’s on the volleyball team? the world may never know let’s be honest who doesn’t love him

tsukishima finds you and your culture very intriguing!

he’ll probably straight up ask you about it too, he’s not gonna tell you why, but it’s pretty obvious it’s because he cares and wants to know more about you :’)

he’ll also do some research!! bc he wants to impress you with how much he knows 😼

teach him your language pls pls pls

if you start talking in another language he’s gonna ask you for a translation

“hm? what does that mean? ahh ok”

totally isn’t taking notes nope no sir

he’ll probably pick up some things from you curse words and use the phrases when he’s yelling at hinata and kageyama bonding with his teammates! such a nice guy

oh the music

he’s definitely gonna wanna know about your music

make a playlist consisting of famous songs from where you’re from and send it to him, trust me, he’ll love you forever

in return he’ll also make you a playlist from some songs he likes :) that’s when you know he’s in deep

if you’re skin is lighter or darker, he’s gonna love you either way, he doesn’t care about looks a king yes we stan ✊

what he’s gonna care about is if you can handle his salty ass attitude

but, if you don’t love how you look, when you’re cuddling and napping together he’s gonna trace your features with his finger and mumble how beautiful you look and how much he loves you 👉👈

you two decide not to go bragging to the whole school just yet that the two of you are together

but tsukishima is so tempted to do just that because he doesn’t like how other people at school look at you

he’s really tempted to grab you by the waist and kiss you infront of everyone to show them that there’s no way in hell they have a chance with you

but he doesn’t because he knows people would ask questions and he would find that extremely annoying yamaguchi knows tho, best friend rights

bby gets a little a lot jelly heuheu

so that means that the volleyball team doesn’t know you’re together

and it’s no surprise that tanaka and nishinoya have noticed you walking around school

one day when he entered the gym to practice, he heard tanaka and nishinoya talking about a new girl

they always do that so he ignored them, until he heard your name

“i swear man, have you SEEN (y/n)?”

“of course ive seen her! ive also seen her coming to our games👁👁”

tsukishima was not happy to find out they were talking about you, but he kept his composure

that is until they commented on how pretty and curvy they thought you were

“it’s not like she’ll pay attention to you guys, she’s already with someone.”

when i tell you nishinoya and tanaka went “what👁👄👁”

“HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT TSUKISHIMA??”

“YEA TELL US!!”

shit tsukishima immediately regretted saying anything at all because now they were bombarding him with questions about you

tsukishima thought he could’ve avoided their questions until yamaGUCCI spoke up

“that’s because (y/n)’s dating tsu-”

crap and he immediately shut up once he felt tsukishima’s glare on him, he had forgotten that it was supposed to be a secret

tsukishima hoped that tanaka and nishinoya didn’t hear yams, but they did

and OH BOY, they were so happy that their tsukishima had finally found someone

so happy in fact, they wanted to meet you! like, right now-

“no”

it went on for a couple of days, every time at practice the team would ask about you

how you were doing, if you were eating well, all that good stuff

now, you already knew tsukishima was on the volleyball team as mentioned before, you’ve gone to their games before but when he told you his team wanted to meet you, you were excited!

you asked to meet his friends and when tsukishima saw your exited face, he couldn’t say no he has a soft spot for you

so you walked with him and yamaguchi to practice and you were kind of nervous

you’ve seen how serious they could be on the court especially that little orange speedy gonzales and ngl, they were kind of scary

yamaguchi reassured you tho, telling you that they were all nice and friendly and that they couldn’t hurt a fly

meanwhile tsukishima was scoffing and calling them all idiots, telling you that there’s nothing to be worried about with them if any of them hurt you they would not live to see tomorrow

when you guys arrived at the gym you saw that they were all waiting for you at the door, literally

kinda felt weird having so many eyes on you, but you couldn’t begin to imagine how they must’ve felt during a game

the whole team was ✨mesmerized✨

they wondered why the hec you chose tsukishima out of all people

like, YOU ARE YOU, so pretty, amazing, wonderful— how did the salt shaker manage to catch your interest?

everyone was especially interested in your culture! they asked you questions a translation to what tsukishima would tell them during practice and you would happily answer all of them!

they wanted to know about your language, food, music, etc

you felt so appreciated :’)

you vibed really well with yachi and kiyoko, they were so nice and beautiful now you guys are best friends

you we’re happily chatting amongst his teammates and tsukishima was lowkey getting jealous he’s used to you giving him most of your attention ok??

daichi and sugawara noticed and told the boys to back off and get back to practice

you observed them and realized that tsukishima’s teammates were really nice people, dedicated and determined

when practice was over they all waved to you and tsukishima goodbye, telling you that you should visit them more often

on your walk home you noticed that tsukishima was a little jealous, so you gently intertwined your fingers with his

“as much as i love your teammates, i love you more :)”

you’re gonna make tsukishima bust an uwu lmao he’s so in love with you, but he won’t say it outloud yet

so instead, he squeezes your hand a little tighter and gives your forehead a little kith, hoping that you’ll realize he’ll love you no matter where you come from

haikyuu mlist

#haikyuu #haikyuu!!#haikyū!!#tsukishima x reader #tsukishima x you #tsukishima x y/n #tsukishima scenarios #tsukishima hcs #tsukishima fluff #tsukishima kei #hq tsukishima #bean writes

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jjpogueprincess · 4 years ago

Text

Reunited once more

Hey Guys. So here is another one. This one was also requested. Hope y’all enjoy!

It’s theorized that Alex has a sister so what if Alex’s sister had a kid who she named after Alex bc she thought of the kid as ‘Alex’s reincarnation’ because the kid had blond hair and blue eyes and likes [insert Instrument of your choice] Then they move near Julie’s house and they meet ‘Alex 2’ and it’s basically Alex finding his family and determined to watch over his nephew.

So i changed it up a bit since i was given creative freedom so this is what i came up with. Hope its good! Sorry it took so long for me to write it!!

Alex’s older sister by a year. Who was the only one that supported Alex in being gay and in a band. Ends up having a daughter born in 2004. So Julie's age. She end’s up transferring into Julie's school and music class. She can play bass and drums and she sings and can write music. Her uncle Alex, Who she never met, is her biggest inspiration. So her connection to her uncle makes it so that she is able to see them when Julie isn’t around.} Alex meets her and they get to know each other. One day, her mother comes to watch them perform at Julie’s Garage party and is shocked to see Alex. She stays after and talks with Julie and has it to where they reunite(kind of) and Alex, after realizing that she is his niece, promises to always watch over her. No matter what

Jatp x Reader

*Hollywood 1995. After the guy’s died*

It was late one night, you were getting ready to leave the house to watch your brother and his band, Sunset Curve, perform at the Orpheum. You were running a bit behind and as you were hurrying to run out the door, there was a knock. Your parents enter the room as you open the door to two cops standing there, hats in their hands. The first cop spoke up.

“Is this the house of Alex?” You look at the cop as you feel your parents walk up behind you.

“Yes. Our son’s name is Alex. Did he do something wrong?” Your mother asks the cops. You roll your eyes at her comment. “He’s my twin brother. Is he okay?” The cops just look at you.

“I’m so sorry. But your son passed away tonight. Food Poisoning. We are so sorry for your loss.” The cops say as they hand you his Jacket. His favorite jean jacket. You start to cry. Your mother pulls you in and your father finishes talking to the cops. Your brother, your other half, was gone.

*9 years later. Hollywood 2004.*

You were in the hospital, with your newborn baby girl. You looked up at your husband and smiled. Your parents walked into the room and smiled as well. Welcoming the new little bundle. You looked at them and then back down at your baby.

“So, have you picked out a name for her yet?” Your mother asks. You smile once more and look up at your husband.

“Her name is Alex. Short for Alexandria.” You say. Your parents frown but then they give a small smile.

*16 Years later. Hollywood 2020.*

“Mom, I don’t understand why we had to move in the middle of the school year! I’m gonna be the weird new kid.” Your daughter Alex says that night at dinner. You roll your eyes. She can be so dramatic. Just like her uncle. You think. “Because honey, we’ve been over this. They have a great music program for you and also, it’s closer to your father's work. You will be fine. And there is a nice girl across the street that’s your age. Maybe after we eat you can go over and say hi?” You ask her. She nods. Giving a small smile.

Alexandria’s (Alex)POV

After I finish eating I put my plate in the sink and head outside. I’ll take mom's advice. Besides, it would be nice to know at least one person at a new school. As I’m walking through the gate to Julie’s house I hear screaming coming from the Garage. I run over to see her running out of the garage and we collide.

“Ow. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to run you over… wait a minute. Who are you and what are you doing here?” Julie asked as you both picked yourselves up off the ground, brushing off.

“I’m Alexandria. But I prefer Alex. My parent’s and I just moved in across the street. Thought i would come over and say Hi.” I said to her. She nodded “Hey. and sorry. I literally just saw three ghost’s so I'm a little freaked out. And now you probably think I’m crazy.” She said to me. I shook my head. “Not at all. I think the previous owner of my house is still there. It’s weird but there is an old lady that i see at night in the little garden behind our house. So trust me. I believe you.” I say. She just smiles and grabs my hand. “Come on. Let’s go see if they’re still there.” She says, pulling me with her. As we get to the garage. She pulls a cross out of her back pocket. She starts talking to thin air.

“I know I’m not crazy.” She says. Then out of nowhere we hear a voice say “Were all a little crazy.” and out of nowhere pops three ghost’s. We both scream.

“Please stop screaming!” The blonde one says. Funny. We look alike.” I think to myself as i look at all three of them but my eyes focus again on the blonde.

“Now that you have stopped screaming, I’m Alex, this is Luke and Reggie. We are sunset curve.” Alex said

“Tell your friends.” Reggie said with a wink.

“Last night was supposed to be a big night for us. Playing the Orpheum. Obviously we didn’t get to do that.” Luke said. Julie pulls out her phone while still holding the cross.

“Whatcha doing?” Alex said. “Googling sunset swerve.” Julie says. “Its sunset curve.” They all three yell.

“Now who’s the one’s yelling?” I say as I smile. Alex just laughs a little. “There is a sunset curve. You guys did die. But that was….25 years ago?” Julie say’s, shocked.

"No no no. That's impossible. After we floated out of that ambulance we went to the dark room where Alex cried." Reggie said as Alex denies it.

"We were all a little emotional." Alex says. Julie just looks at them.

"Well I guess you guys can stay." All of a sudden my mom texts me saying it was time to come home.

"Alright. It was nice meeting you guys. And nice meeting you to Julie. But I have to go. My mom wants home." I say as I'm about to walk out.

"Ok. Well how about you come over tomorrow morning and me, you and my best friend Flynn can all go to school together?" Julie says. I smile. Really excited.

"Yeah sure! I'd love to! It would be good to know at least one person." I say as I'm leaving. "I'll see you in the morning!" I say to her.

*a week later*

It was the day of the garage party. I was so excited. I've been hanging with Julie and the guys and helping them rehearse. Me and Alex have been getting really close. I don't know why, but it feels like we've been a part of each other's lives forever.

"Hey. Don't be nervous. You got this." I say to Julie as I go to stand beside my mom and Flynn. As they're halfway through the song, I feel my mom shaking. I look at her and she looks like she has seen a ghost.

"Mom. You good?" I say as she looks over at me. She nods her head. But I know she's lying. After the performance. The band vanishes and my mom seems to snap out of it. My mom and I start walking up to Julie to congratulate her.

"That was amazing!" I say to her. Also looking at the guys. However I notice that they are all staring at my mom and she is staring back. Which I find weird. Alex starts to gravitate towards us. Mom looks shaken and ready to cry

“Is it really you? How is this possible? How is any of this happening right now?” Your mom asks Alex. Reaching up to touch his face. He looks like he’s about to start crying. She turns to look and sees you looking back with worry and curiosity.

“Mom, why are you crying?” you ask. Then it dawns on you. why you guys seem to look alike, why you feel so connected to him after just meeting him. Looking back and forth between the two you realize, this is

“Uncle Alex!? But you died! Wait a minute. You can see them mom?" You ask. Shocked.

"I can. I'm not surprised you can also." She gives a shaky laugh.

"Alex is my brother. He is who you're named after." She says. You smile. Alex just looks at you and your mom. And smiles. He pulls you both into a hug which shocks everyone. How can they touch each other? The others think. As you guys pull from each other you look at Julie and hug her. Seeing her mom fully happy was what you always wanted. You guys leave your mom and Alex to catch up.

"I can't believe it. All this time. I was hanging with my uncle! Everything makes so much sense now." You say. Smiling. As Alex and your mom emerge from the garage. Alex goes up to you and pulls you into a hug.

"I promise I'll watch over you guys. Nothing will happen to you." Even though this probably won't last, you are thankful for what you have, while you have it.

#julie and the phantoms #alex jatp #reggie jatp #luke patterson

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trensu · 5 years ago

Text

Episode 14: The One where LWJ Sings to WWX, y’know, Like a Bro

WE’RE STILL IN THE BEST CAVE IN THE WORLD GUYS

AND WE START OFF WITH ~THEIR SONG~ PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND AS LWJ GENTLY WAKES UP.

And first thing he notices is that he woke up with his forehead ribbon on his forehead where it’s supposed to be (it’s right there in the name)

Wwx: oh yeah, i put it back on you while you were sleeping. I know how nervous you get when you’re not wearing it.

DID YOU HEAR THAT?

DID YOU?

HE PUT IT BACK ON HIM TO SPARE HIM ANXIETY

(You can't tell me that LWJ does not low-key have anxiety. Nobody's that much of a stickler for rules without being constantly anxious about breaking them. That's just facts)

Also, lol, the minute lwj wakes up, wwx is all “ah, must be 5am.” HE’S KEEPING TRACK OF TIME WITH LWJ’S SLEEP HABITS LOLOLOL

Now wwx and lwj are talking Important Escape Details

Wwx: yeah, went back into the pond and it looks like the Murder Turtle blocked off the escape route

Lwj: you shouldn’t be going into the pond with your injury

Wwx: i’m not that delicate!

And then he turns it around and asks lwj how well the medicine was working on his leg (it’s all better now, i guess?? idk he seems fine now. wq’s medicine is MAGIC)

BECAUSE THEY CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER

Here we learn the official name of the Murder Turtle

Lwj: it’s like a xuanwu but not

Wwx: xuanwu?? *proceeds to describe what he knows about it*

Lwj: *is impressed and surprised*

Have more faith in your soulmate lwj. He reads! Sometimes! When it’s important!

Wwx: aren’t xuanwus supposed to have sharp teeth? Like Grrr

HE MAKES THE MOST ADORABLE GROWLY FACE I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE AND MAKES THE CUTEST GROWL SOUND AT LWJ. AHHHHH!

But also, he’s disappointed that the xuanwu didn’t have sharp teeth?? WWX, THE THING TRIED TO EAT YOU JUST YESTERDAY. BE GRATEFUL IT DOESN’T HAVE SHARP TEETH

Wwx: it doesn’t even matter what it is! It’s a big monster and if we kill it we’ll be Big Damn Heroes

So EXCITED and EAGER and he has this MISCHIEVOUS LOOK ON HIS FACE. Obviously he’s suffered brain damage

Wwx: and, ah, if it kills us, it’s okay bc it’ll be an AWESOME death lol

Lwj just stares at him LOL

His face is like, “this guy? This is the guy my heart decided to fall for?? Really???”

Okay so now they’re being all sneaky and gathering up bows and arrows that surround the pond and then they go back and get to work on fixing them and preparing for battle

We get to see lwj practicing the chord assassination technique like a BADASS

They come up with a plan!! Wwx will go into the Murder Turtle’s shell to coax him out of it so that lwj can then, idk, decapitate it with his Killer String.

(that’s...not how actual turtles work, but bc this is a magic murder turtle, i figure the rules don’t apply)

AHHHHH

LWJ DOES A THING

So obvs since wwx has to go inside the shell and lwj has to stay outside the shell they gotta communicate right and Ancient Fantasy China does not have good cell reception

Wwx: listen to me

And with that verbal cue, lwj does this thing that makes his fingers glow with spiritual energy and then taps wwx’s forehead which then has a little burst of the glow for half a second.

And TA-DAH! NOW THEY’RE PSYCHICALLY LINKED!!!

THEY’RE SOULMATES AND NOW THEY’RE PSYCHICALLY LINKED YOUR OTP COULD NEVER

It must be a link that only lets them hear what the other wants them to hear otherwise wwx would’ve found out lwj is smitten with him right there and then, omg, that could’ve saved us so much heartbreak later on

But we’re not gonna think about that right now bc i don’t want to short-circuit my keyboard with tears

YUCK, wwx is inside the Murder Turtle’s shell and it’s SUPER GROSS

EVERYTHING IS ALL RED

THE FLOOR’S ALL MUDDY AND GUMMY

THERE’S LIKE, FLESHY ROPES HANGING EVERYWHERE

DISGUSTING

Wwx: ewww, it stinks so bad i wanna puke *chokes back bile*

BE STRONG WWX, YOU CAN DO THIS

And now he’s bumped into some dead bodies

WHY ARE YOU PUTTING YOUR FACE SO CLOSE TO THE DEAD BODIES WWX, THAT’S A TERRIBLE IDEA. YOU WERE JUST COMPLAINING ABOUT THE STENCH 2 SECONDS AGO, AND NOW YOU’RE SHOVING YOUR FACE IN IT???

Oh noooo, now he’s found the Screaming Sword of Resentment that screams bloody murder at him

He grabs it and stabs Murder Turtle in the face which makes Murder Turtle mad enough to get out of the shell

We’re going to continue to ignore the bad cgi and ridiculously over the top fighting moves

...and the way he floats horizontally(??? somehow??) as the Murder Turtle tries to shake him off

My poor bb is hanging on for dear life while lwj does his Killer String thing

I LOVE LWJ’S DETERMINED FACE HERE!!

His brow is all scrunched up and his mouth gets all pinched and firm. SO DASHING LAN ZHAN, GO SAVE YOUR SOULMATE.

But oh no! The resentful energy pouring from the sword is getting to wwx!

Uh oh, I did not like the look of that grin on wwx’s face

that was NOT HIS MISCHIEVOUS GRIN

THAT WAS A MALEVOLENT GRIN.

I DON’T LIKE IT

STOP THAT WWX

BE A GOOD BOY

Lwj shouts his name, he’s so worried!!

And now we see wwx use resentful energy for the first time ever!!

In a badass move he starts levitating all the abandoned swords and staffs that littered the shore AND USES THEM TO STAB THE MURDER TURTLE IN THE THROAT

SO COOL, SO COOL

Murder Turtle flops over dead and takes wwx down with him INTO THE POND AND WWX IS UNCONSCIOUS!! NOOOOOOO

Lwj, ofc, rushes to his side as soon as he hits the water and rescues him

He gets him out of the pond and takes him to dry land

Lwj: wei ying, wei ying! Wake up, wake up

GUYS, THIS IS THE MOST EMOTION WE’VE HEARD IN HIS VOICE SO FAR

HE’S REPEATING HIMSELF FOR GOODNESS SAKE

HE OF FEW WORDS GOES ON TO REPEAT HIMSELF TWICE OVER

HE’S FREAKING OUT

Oh gross, we cut to the Evil Wen’s lair

C’mon nobody cares about whatever’s going on there. Get us back to the important stuff!!! I am Done listening to evil wens ranting

AHH WE’RE BACK IN THE CAVE WITH OUR BOYS!!

WWX REGAINS CONSCIOUSNESS!!

Wwx: lan zhan, is it dead?

Lwj: yes

Wwx: yes? (he says weakly, in disbelief, MY POOR WWX)

Wwx: is it dead? (why’s he repeating himself, WWX ARE YOU OKAY??)

(I mean, obviously he's not what with the murder turtle thing but I don't think he can afford to get more brain damage at this point)

Lwj: yes, it is.

Oh and now wwx is telling lwj about all the screaming voices he heard from the sword and asks him if he was dreaming those up

LIKE HE’S NOT TRUSTING HIS GRASP ON REALITY RN OR SOMETHING!!

AND HE’LL ONLY TRUST IT IF LWJ CONFIRMS IT FOR HIM

BC HE TRUSTS HIM AND THEY’RE SOULMATES!!!

Lwj reassures wwx that he did not dream up those screams

(Somebody should probably check him for a concussion,jic. I mean those screams were real THIS time but you never know!!)

(Maybe concussions don't exist in Ancient Fantasy China, idk)

Wwx is all pale and shaky!! MY POOR WWX!! Lwj is rightfully fussing over him

He lets out a weak laugh (BC THAT’S HIS COPING MECHANISM, DIFFUSE THE SITUATION WITH HUMOR, MY POOR WWX) and is like “who knew that one day i’d get to see the 2nd jade of lan look so worried?”

IT’S BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU, WWX, YOU DENSE IDIOT

Lwj doesn’t respond but he does look away briefly LIKE HE’S AFRAID OF WWX SEEING SO MUCH EMOTION ON HIS FACE

AAHHHH, LAN ZHAN, IT’S OKAY, DON’T HIDE AWAY LIKE THAT!! I PROMISE WWX LOVES YOU TOO!!!

WWX: lan zhan, i didn’t think i’d survive this

He whispers weakly AS HIS BODY IS STARTS TO TREMBLE LIKE CRAZY

Lwj: wei ying, you have a fever

And then he brings wwx’s wrist close to start pouring in some spiritual energy

SO GENTLY, WITH SUCH DEDICATED CONCENTRATION

BC HIS WEI YING IS HURTING AND HE WANTS TO MAKE IT STOP

AAHHHHH

WWX: that’s so soothing lan zhan

Oh jeez, the way he sounds when he says that...

And omg the way lwj looks in the blue glow of the spiritual energy transfer

AS IF HE DIDN’T ALREADY LOOK LIKE SOME SORT OF HOLY DEITY, HE’S LEGIT GLOWING NOW TOO

WWX: how boring...why hasn’t jc showed up to rescue me yet?

Uh, rude much? Lwj is right there

AND HERE WE COLLECTIVELY LOSE OUR MINDS BC WWX ASKS LWJ TO SING TO HIM!!!!!!!!!!

AND LWJ STARTS TO SING TO HIM!!!!!

AND THIS IS WHERE WE GET ~THEIR SONG~ ACKNOWLEDGED BY THE CHARACTERS FOR THE FIRST TIME BC THAT’S WHAT HE SINGS TO WEI YING

AND WHILE HE SINGS, WE GET GIVEN THE MOST WONDERFUL OF ALL FLASHBACKS.

IT IS A COMPILATION OF ALL THEIR IMPORTANT MOMENTS TOGETHER SO FAR

THEIR MOONLIT ROOFTOP SWORD FIGHT!!

THEIR COLD POND CAVE MARRIAGE!!

THEIR BUNNY LANTERN!!

BASICALLY EVERYTHING I’VE BEEN SCREAMING ABOUT THESE PAST 14 EPISODES

I’M LITERALLY TEARING UP

I CNA’T TAKE IT

MY HEART, MY HEART 💕💕💕

THEY’RE SINGING ~THEIR SONG~ AND I’M DYING OF FEELINGS OVERLOAD

Also, jfc, there’s no Heterosexual explanation for that flashback sequence…

Wwx: it sounds so nice, so nice, what’s the name of the song…?

AHHHHHH!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

LWJ TELLS HIM THE NAME OF THE SONG!!

!!HE PRACTICALLY CONFESSES HIS ETERNAL UNDYING LOVE TO HIM

AND WWX HAS TO FUCKING PASS OUT BEFORE HE HEARS IT GOD DAMN IT

IT’S LIKE GETTING COCKBLOCKED, BUT LIKE, EMOTIONALLY WHICH IS SO MUCH WORSE WTF

And when wwx wakes up again, he’s out of the cave!

But instead of seeing lwj’s godly visage, he wakes up to that peacock jzx and is like “you??”

Jc shows up!

Wwx: where’s lan zhan?

Jc: he left

Wwx: he left?? But he’s still injured!!

Jc: so is everyone else!! And he went back to gusu so…

Wwx: but he--

Jc: A THANK YOU WOULD BE NICE

Jc: IT’S NOT LIKE I TRAVELED WITHOUT REST FOR 7 DAYS TO GET HELP AND RESCUE YOU

Now we got to go through Plot Things

We’re at Lotus Pier!! (where wwx proceeds to pass out again!! Get used to it guys, he does this a lot)

Then the yunmeng sibs have a beautiful moment together

Okay, we’re gonna pause here BC WWX IS SO FREAKING ADORABLE??

He gets all pouty and asks jyl to clean his face for him bc his arms are too tired and jyl does it bc she loves her brother

AND HIS ADORABLE FACE

HIS SO CUTE ADORABLE FACE WHEN SHE CLEANS HIM UP

I CAN’T I CAN’T

IT’S TOO MUCH

HOW IS THIS GUY AN ACTUAL PERSON THAT EXISTS

Lol, wwx is like, i wish you’d been there in the cave with me jc, lan zhan almost bored me to death

What a liar, lol

Like he wasn't completely enraptured by LWJ's presence the ENTIRE TIME

Oh yikes, we’ve got some screwed up family dynamics in the Jiang Family courtesy of m-yu and jfm.

For the sake of my sanity we’re gonna gloss over that

Now that the parents stormed off, wwx does his best to console jc (bc his parents, double yikes)

Now watch me as a break down sobbing when wwx makes A PROMISE HE WON’T BE ABLE TO KEEEEEP

I’ll be your right hand man, he tells him. Gusu has the twin jades, but yunmeng will have twin heroes, he says

(WHY MUST YOU HURT ME THIS WAY, SHOW, WHYYYYY)

After wwx says those things about the twins, he looks up at the sky wistfully and asks jc “do you think we’ll ever see them again?”

“Them” he says, like he’s not completely talking about just lan zhan

jc’s like how the heck would i know???

And we end the episode with wwx still gazing at the sky, dreaming about his lan zhan

I mean, we don’t see it, the dreams or thoughts or whatever, but we kNOW IN OUR HEARTS THAT’S WHAT HE’S DOING

This was a Very Heterosexual episode. For that I give it 10/10 stars. I would watch that flashback sequence with him singing over and over and over and over and over and ov--

Return to Masterpost

#WangXiantics #wangxian #the untamed #cql

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theshadowofme · 4 years ago

Text

Well, it’s Bell’s Let’sTalk day, the day where we are suppose to talk about mental health and encourage people to come forward and seek help if needed. It is also a time to share our own stories about our battles with mental health. Today, I will share some more of my journey.

Well, I started my journey into policing back in 2004. Graduated from Depot, and was posted to Northeastern BC. This is where I learned policing, an oilfield town where the government employees were on the low end of the pay scale. When people asked me what policing an oil town was like, I always would say, “it was a great place to learn.” And it truly was. As a new officer, you got exposed to everything. Which was also a negative, as you got exposed to EVERYTHING.

My final year there was my first exposure to an in custody death in the summer of 2007. We received a complaint of a person acting erratically and attempting to smash windows. The long and the short of it, upon arrest, involving five officers, the person went into medical distress, ultimately passing away at the local hospital. From this, I got to be the subject of an investigation, and experience a Coroners Inquest. The outcome of the inquest was that the person passed away from excited delirium, something at that point in time, officers were not trained how to deal with people suspected of suffering from excited delirium.

Shortly after these events, I transferred to my next post, a three person post in the interior of BC. Two weeks after trasferring to this post, the organization changed their policy on on call and what was suppose to be only on call between shifts every once in awhile changed to being on call for probably 5 out of every 7 days of a week. Ultimately I was on call for three months straight at one point. I know that there are members that have gone longer, but this was my reality at the time. Unable to leave town, even when I wasn’t scheduled to be on shift as I was on call for the member that was working that day. Between dealing with no down time and having not processed having a person dying in custody, I started a downward spiral to the lowest point I have ever been in my life. At this point there was no talking about trauma in the organization or PTSD. I still remember the part of training where the mental health discussion was “you’ll have bad days, but you will get over them.”

At my lowest point I seriously contemplated suicide to the point that I had my pistol out one night at work wondering what it would be like. My life was so out of my control at that point that I felt that the only thing that I could control was whether I lived or died. Ultimately I did not do it, but at that point, I saw no other way out and just didn’t care anymore. A week later, I was off work as I couldn’t deal with the stress anymore. It is very disheartening as an officer when your supervisor takes away your service weapon and sends you home.

I started the process of recovery and was diagnosed with PTSD and Major Depressive Disorder. This started the journey of medications and treatments. Medications always seem to have interesting side effects for me. One I didn’t sleep, one my symptoms got worse, and one had other umm... side effects. Sleeping pills either didn’t work or made me into a drooling mess at their lowest dose. After six months I was deemed fit to return to work, which I did. After another year in that office, I transferred to Northwestern BC.

With my transfer to Northwestern BC, I made the vow to myself that I would talk about my experiences to the people I worked with to hopefully prevent anyone from going through what I did. Ultimately, by helping to remove the stigma within the office I worked, it helped others trust me to come to me with their problems and ask for help. I continued this through the rest of my career.

As I have written about in my previous posts, this lead to the week of hell. This time I was better able to read what my head and my body was telling me and deemed that once I was done two commitments I was going off again. Ultimately I was off for two months before I returned to work as I actually enjoyed my job there. Once back from being off, I transferred in the fall of that year to Southeastern BC, my current home. This also involved having a new family doctor.

After two years here, my doctor started to ask me if I wanted to be put off work due to all the things that were going on in my life. She just kept saying to me, “I don’t know how you keep going.” My psychiatrist was also saying the same thing to me as well. At this point, reading my own body and mental state, I was confident that I could continue on. I was able to continue this until another trauma event happened, followed shortly after by becoming the person in charge of the office that was short staffed. I fought through this until I wasn’t able to anymore. I decided that when I was driving to work in the morning and feeling like puking on the way that I shouldn’t be there as I was a liability to the public, my co-workers, and ultimately myself. As the person in charge, I didn’t have anyone to report to locally, so this time around, I locked up my own service weapon, turned the keys over to the exhibit clerk and called the district officer and advised them that they needed to have someone come and run the detachment. I have not returned to work since.

Approximately 5 years ago, I got really sick of being told I had a mental illness and started telling people I had an injury. Most people that I tell this to agree with me and it helps remove the stigma of the source of our problems. As it is Let’s Talk day, I will advise all three of my readers to talk about it. Whether you are suffering, or you see someone else suffering, talk, but remember, sometimes the best way to help someone isn’t by talking, but by listening. Or it could be as simple as giving a recommendation of a psychiatrist. Providing a ride to someone to their appointment because they aren’t able to at that point. So lets remove the stigma and tell our stories. Let the world know that we need the help and let our coworkers know that we are there for them. If you need to talk, PM me. If you already have my number, call me or text me. I would rather talk to you than talk about you at your funeral.

My song selection today is very appropriate as sung by JT and CS. Justin Timberlake and Chris Stapleton. I fell in love with it when I first heard it as it is very true, the greatest way to say something is to say nothing at all. This has so many meanings today. It could mean that when I was at my lowest, by not saying something, I was saying a lot. But coming out the other side, I decided to put myself in the middle as the song says. So without further ado, it is “Say Something.”

Cheers all, and remember, Let’s Talk About it.

#Spotify

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alias-b · 5 years ago

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Without The Lights~ Billy Hargrove x OC Camille Harper

Chapter 1: Uptown Girl

Touch with Billy Hargrove often meant getting fresh stitches plucked open. For Camille Harper, he'd risk it. Camille was Queen Bee of Hawkins High School. The teen dream. Billy wanted her for it. No use lying about that much. But, they get more than they bargained for when two messy lives from opposite ends of town intertwine. Secrets unravel between them when one dimension bleeds into another. Camille is a girl just trying to do better when Billy barges into her life and new pieces come together. Maybe not all the ones they wanted. He gets tangled into her lavish existence. Rich girl. Absent parents. A mystery that blooms, threatening everything they built. And three little numbers: 006.

A/N: Also posted on my AO3 :))) I thought I’d conform and start posting here too bc why not!. Warning for mention of past bullying, teens drinking/smoking, and one light mention of forced vomiting. Starts at S2 and veers off into an AU at 3. Thanks!

** ** ** ** ** ** **

It had to be a joke. Hick town. Piece of shit school. Nothing here came close to California. It was all gone. That sweet citrus air. The crisp waves of billowing sea water. Billy Hargrove decided anywhere was better than here. Hawkins, Indiana was a pit. Especially while an office aid with horrid breath prattled on across the counter. He couldn’t even fake the charm this morning.

“Here are your classes, Mr. Hargrove. We tend to pair all our transfers with a student. Make your first day easier.”

“Don’t bother.” Billy clutched an old messenger bag in one hand, snatching his class list to his chest. The secretary pretended not to hear him when the office door opened. A bubble of pink gum popped and Billy grew stunned.

“Ah, here she is. Ms. Harper, this is William Hargrove-"

"Billy."

"-the new transfer. He’ll shadow you this morning.”

“Camille,” her lips lifted in greeting. Hair flicked behind her shoulder when she adjusted her sweater. All dark locks and huge green, hazel eyes. They took a beat to stare. Billy knew instantly the circle this girl was in. Picture perfect. Pretty in pink. Prissy thing. Oh, but, she was a fox. His eyes drew to the tiny beauty mark under her right eye. That voice was lush even for a seventeen year old with such a sweet face. But, those eyes. “Let’s see it, transfer.”

“Huh?” Billy lost his thought when her hand came up to pluck the schedule from his fingers.

“I’ve got it from here, Ms. Krueger.”

“Harper. Hargrove. Har har. Perfect fit,” the woman laughed at her joke and Camille looped one arm in Billy’s to get this boy to move his ass. She wouldn’t let him make her late.

“Good one, Ms. Krueger.” That sweet princess smile dropped the moment they turned the corner so she pulled from him when he fell in stride. Billy was barely two inches taller than her. This girl glided like a ballerina. It was infuriating. Almost. “Shame I didn’t find you earlier, I could have warned you to keep a distance. That woman doesn’t know her way around a bottle of mouthwash.” Camille popped another bubble and peered up at him, lax. “We have first period together. English with Strode.” Billy found his charm again.

“Lucky for you.” He remarked, earning the slightest huff of amusement. Barely audible. Students peered at them both, fascinated with the new boy. Sizing him up. He carried himself higher in response and grew annoyed when his thoughts lingered on Max probably stuck with awkward introductions as well.

“Looks like I’ll also be seeing you in...hm, third period: study hall, lunch, and fourth period: chemistry. Huh...” Those bright eyes lifted and he gave a scoff, grumbling.

“Everything else was full.”

“This way,” she turned the corner and peered up to meet Nancy’s eyes. She’d pulled from Steve and given a slight wave that was acknowledged in turn. Camille passed her and ignored everyone’s staring before she knocked one knuckle to metal. “Your locker. Lucky boy, you didn’t get a broken one.” She leaned against the wall and gave him a moment to stuff books away. “Where did you transfer from?” Camille watched him suck in his cheeks. Jaw clenched. Oh, he was pretty.

“California.” He cocked his head and she caught the slightest dusting of freckles in the light. “Dad decides to uproot the family to the land of manure.”

“You get used to that.” That silent amusement twitched.

“Don’t bet on it.” He smacked the door shut, smooth now. “You the queen bee around here?”

“What’s it to you?” She walked along, gliding still.

“Every school has their royalty.” Billy remarked and she changed the subject without breaking stride. A sort of challenge danced between them.

“This way. Mrs. Strode is easy enough. Just nod a lot when she eyes you and pretend to take notes. You have Gym next. Down the hall all the way to the end, take a left, you’ll find it. Big room with basketball hoops and sweaty boys. Can’t miss it.” Miss Priss liked her dry humor, he noted. "I can meet you and show you where to go after. Keep up and don’t make me late. We clear, transfer?” She tilted her head to one side and Billy studied her.

“Crystal.” He drew out the syllables and she smirked, turning to go off with another flick of lavish hair.

“Welcome to Hawkins, Billy Hargrove.”

** ** ** **

“How did you get the best job in school?” Carol leaned over the lunch table hours later.

“Carol,” Camille sighed with no joy and pulled from her conversation with Heather next to her.

“Showing that fine ass around?”

“Aren’t you still with Tommy? Thought he was ass enough.” Camille earned a snicker from Heather so Carol stood taller.

“Some of us are trying to eat,” Steve Harrington appeared from nothing and Carol shot him a look, going around him and bumping into Nancy on the way off.

“Still bitter,” Camille remarked, sitting back.

“She needs to get over herself. Anyways, I have to drop something off, see you in chem. New lab partners coming. I think I got Robin.” Heather hurried to go with a wave goodbye.

“Can I sit?” Steve waited for a nod and Nancy joined him.

“You two going to Tina’s Halloween party?” Orange flyers where littered all over the school.

“Wouldn’t miss it. Didn’t that guy jump off the roof last year and land in the koi pond?” Steve shook his head

“Rumor had it, he ate one of those fish on a bet.” Camille joked, eyes flicked across the way to see Tina giving Billy an invitation. Flirting.

“So, the new boy.” Nancy began.

"Asshole." Steve was quick to remark. "I have gym with the guy."

“Rough and tumble sort.” Camille bit into an apple slice and shrugged. Year later and it was strange. Being friends again. Or, trying to. Suppose tragedy brings people together.

“Steve and I are going tonight. To the Holland’s.” Nancy began. “You’re welcome again.”

“Not sure I can do it tonight. Last time...and that house.” Camille paused, inhaling. “And my parents are going to be home together for the first time in weeks. They’ll want to do something.”

“Dad still working late at Hawkins lab?” Nancy pretended to be blasé about it.

“That and all the trips. He’s a wanted man, I guess. Mom is absorbed into her fashion thing. But, she loves it and I can’t knock her wanting to work again.”

“What exactly does your dad do there these days?”

“Never talks about it so I stopped asking. Big shot scientists. Can’t be bothered. Making the town a better place, always late to dinner. Whatever.” Camille’s eyes lifted. “Why the interest in my Dad lately?”

“Just all that stuff last year. A lot happened. Fingers were pointed.”

“They pointed wrong, I heard. Not like my dad would ever be involved in these weird conspiracies. He’s painfully normal.”

“He could secretly be a Terminator, Cam,” Steve laughed and Nancy dropped it when Camille reached over to smack her friend.

“Real funny.” She stood with her tray. “He says he helps people. He’s wanted to help people his whole life. I’ve heard every speech possible about it. But, whatever tests they’re running, they can’t exactly flash that all over the news. Small town labs, you know, they’re nothing. They’re glorified electric companies.”

“They certainly can’t flash it.” Nancy tried to smile.

“Tell Mrs. Holland I’m thinking about her.”

“I will.” Nancy gave a nod, resting back while Camille dumped her trash out and couldn’t spot Billy when the bell rang. Huffing, she rolled her eyes and marched out, turning to sneak down the hallway and open a back door to a set of stone steps. Her assigned shadow was leaning into them, hurrying to snuff out a smoke.

“Easy, beach boy, it’s me. You’re making me late for chem.”

“Broke Princess’s rule, huh. How’d you find me so quick?”

“Know the type. All the smokers who think they’re slick slip out this door. It’s the spot. Come on.” She cocked her head and he slipped in.

“Tell me about that Steve Harrington guy. More royalty.”

“Making new friends already. How sweet is that.” She picked up the pace when the bell rang again. “Steve, the hair, Harrington. Probably the most popular boy in school. Even after last year.”

“Hearing a lot about last year.” Billy pretended not to care. Nothing exciting in manure land. So he thought.

“Little boy went missing, it was a whole big thing. Thought he died but they found him. Thankfully.”

“Girl went missing too in our class.”

“Barb. They...haven’t found her.” Camille averted her eyes and he dropped that subject. “Steve ruled the school with the rest of us. Certain things went down and our group split. High school drama and all. Not very interesting. Why the questions, don’t you hate this place? Trying to be the new hair guy with those darling curls?”

“Just like to know what I’m up against.”

“Rough and tumble and in need of a new challenge. Noted. Hurry up.” Camille rushed into class with Billy unbothered behind her.

“Ah, Ms. Harper and you brought the new transfer, how nice. Take the last two seats in back. You’ll be lab partners.” Mrs. West gestured, a younger teacher than his others here. Lovely, Camille turned her eyes to Billy and he looked utterly smug. “Billy Hargrove just transferred from California. See to it, class, that he feels welcomed.”

“So far, so good, teach.” He turned up the charm with a wink and earned several girls sitting forward in response before he sauntered down to join Camille at a high table they would share. Pretty and aggravating, Camille decided. Billy eyed her again while the teacher began and she pulled a notebook out. Sleeves shifted up and he noticed a scar, small and round just an inch or so under her wrist. Looked like a burn. Hazel eyes lifted to see his blue ones and there was...nothing. Nothing there that he’d gotten from every other girl at this school admiring his ass in tight jeans. Billy took note to himself: a stone fox.

** ** **

“How was school, honey?” Noah Harper locked the attic door behind him and Camille pretended she wasn’t trying to see into it. His eyes were intent until the lock clicked.

“Fine. Had to show another new guy around.” She eyed the attic again. The only forbidden room in their huge house. “We still on for dinner with mom?”

“About that...” He saw her shoulders drop. “Something came up and they need me tonight.”

“You promised.” She batted her eyes.

“I know and I’ll make it up to you.” He kissed her head. “Did you take your pills?”

“Yes.”

“New dose is helping, I’m sure.”

“Less nosebleeds.” Camille shrugged, averting her eyes before she turned to go down the steps.

“Camille, honey, I promise that we’ll get dinner next time.”

“I know,” she faked a smile. “I get it.”

“You are...everything to me. I love you and I’m sorry I haven’t been around the last year. You are so important. Trust that.” He came to her, tucking hair aside.

“I love you, dad.” She let herself brighten. Just a little. Noah watched her turn to go off. Her mother was currently in her own studio, light filled the room while she mulled over a drawing and turned to pin pieces of fabric to a bodice on a stand.

“Bow or no bow, darling?” Rosemary, a women growing more beautiful with age, mused and Camille considered it.

“Bow.” She plopped into a cushioned chair.

“Talked to your father, did you?” She watched her daughter nod with a pout. “We can still have our dinner and watch whatever romantic movie we wish.”

“I know. I just...never see him anymore. It’s worse.”

“It’ll get better again, they’re short staffed after those accidents. Your father was lucky to be out of town.”

“He’s always out of town.” Camille tried not to whine. “I see Edna more than I see you two.”

“We certainly have kept her busy with this house. She adores you.” The maid practically raised her.

“I just miss my parents.”

“We just want you to have a better life than us. That’s all any parent wishes for. We work hard and can only teach so much. You’ll understand when you grow older.” Rosemary kissed her daughter’s hair. “How was school? I heard talk of a new student. A boy?”

“Yes...”

“A cute boy?”

“Gorgeous and bad news for certain.” Camille crossed her arms.

“So you like him?”

“Every girl liked him and he loved that.” She stood up. Billy was a bad boy drawn to royalty. “Going to get my homework out of the way.”

“Pasta tonight?”

“Yes, of course.” Camille hurried off, eyeing that attic down the long hallway before she continued on.

** ** **

Camille didn’t speak to Billy much that next day. He sat behind her in English and resisted the urge to tug on loose locks of bouncy hair when she shifted in her seat. Study hall was similar, she sat alone with a book on Latin; completely absorbed. Smart and popular. An entire compact package. He could have wrapped her in a pretty, pink ribbon. The thought was enticing. Camille wasn’t the rich bitch she used to be. Well, still working on that but progress lingered between every little conversation with Nancy. Frankly, it was nice to be rid of Tommy and Carol in their group. She took note often of Steve and Nancy huddling together to whisper these days and stopping when she or Heather walked up.

“Happy Halloween, Cam.” Heather never grew out of her sweet face. Doe eyes to match.

“It is indeed. Want to come over and get ready for Tina’s party? My mom seemed excited about it and it’ll break her heart if we don’t let her fuss.”

“Your house is a mansion, I wouldn’t miss it.” Heather laughed to herself.

“I’ll drive you,” Camille cocked her head when they got outside. Billy’s blue Camaro whizzed loudly out of the parking lot. They caught sight of a little redhead in the passenger seat. “Didn’t know he had a sister.”

“Stepsister, I guess. Seemed pretty short about that. She’s the same age as Nancy’s brother.” The two friends got into Camille’s little grey car to speed off. “Are you going out for gymnastics again this year?”

“Ah, not sure. Might tutor instead, they’ve been asking me.”

“Thinking I’ll stay with cheer-leading. I’m so jealous of your brain.” Heather huffed to herself.

“Okay, weird.” Camille laughed and turned a corner.

“I’m serious. You’re somehow beautiful and you absorb books like a sponge absorbs water. And you’re different… Nicer.”

“Okay, rude...but true.” She’d admitted and Heather smiled.

“Good different like happier. Relaxed. You and Nancy are talking again. We never thought we’d see that day. Ever since…you know.”

“I grew tits early and started dressing better and dropped my two friends. Yeah. Lesson learned.”

“It’s just better now. Never too late I guess even for Queen Bee.”

“Too sappy for your own good,” Camille peered over when they passed the Loch Nora sign and pulled up to her house. Lavish and cared for. Cold on occasion when they weren’t throwing the usual holiday party. “Taking your son out tonight, Edna?” Camille stopped the housekeeper on the way out. She was only in her twenties when she came to their family to look after this house and, admittedly, the daughter within whose parents were never around.

“Yes, he’s so excited. Wanted to be the Terminator this year.” She laughed. “Goodnight, Milly.”

“Night,” Camille looped her arm in Heather’s and led her inside where her mother was waiting.

** ** **

Music boomed, vibrating Tina’s house while every teen inside danced about. Many wandered the grounds with red cups full of stolen booze. Spotting Nancy and Steve, Camille crossed with Heather behind her. Two drinks down into her stomach. Working on the third.

“Aw, couples costume. I have to say I’m impressed.” Camille watched Nancy smile with dull eyes.

“Madonna,” Steve eyed Heather, “best one yet.”

“Damn, I knew I’d have competition.” Heather giggled and pulled Nancy off to get a drink.

“She okay?” Camille asked after a beat and Steve rubbed his head.

“Not sure, she’s been acting weird ever since...ah,” Steve stopped himself. “You know it’s been a year and the dinner, I think...it brought some stuff up.”

“Keep an eye on her, something’s off. Something’s been off...with you both.”

“We’ll be fine. Relax.” Steve ran a hand into his locks and Camille gave him a nod, passing to go outside and escape the pounding music. That’s where she saw Billy again. Clad in even tighter jeans and a leather jacket with no shirt. Fingerless gloves. Terminator, she amused herself. Currently, he was hoisted upside down over the keg, easily beating Steve’s held record, while admirers around him cheered and counted. He spotted her and winked even in his position, causing her to roll her eyes and drink from her own cup.

“Yeah!” He got upright and sprayed beer, earning more drunk cheers. Tommy was an eager lackey, egging him on and nearly shoved up his ass. “That’s how you do it, Hawkins!” He puffed a cigarette as the wild crowds hurried back to join the dancing.

“The new keg king!” Tommy bellowed and Billy paid him no mind, crossing toward Camille leaning near the doorway. Eyes narrowing and deliberate, he stalked like a lion and she was undaunted.

“You’re fitting in.” She commented so he blew smoke the other way. “Nice costume.”

“And you are, ah, some kind of witch.” He gestured with his hands.

“Stevie Nicks.” She chuckled. “As in: Fleetwood Mac. But, honestly, you’re not wrong.”

“Think you meant, bitch. Hey, Harper.” Tommy leaned over Billy’s shoulder, wasted. “Still flying lower with Steve and Miss Perfect?”

“Oh, Tommy. Don’t be like that,” Camille smiled with red lips splitting wide. An expression that cut. “Glad to see you and Carol still going so strong.” She stepped forward, craning her neck to see him behind Billy. A true predator. Slow and calculating. Billy couldn’t help but leer. She acted like he wasn’t even there between them. Princess played up a pout. “Do you remember when you two had that little break and you wrote me that...dirty...nasty...filthy letter. Spelling and grammar problems aside, it was…vividly detailed. Billy, you should have been around for that.” She gave his shoulder a pat and shivers ran his spine, amusement flickered his own expression. “Tommy, here, is quite the writer. I still have it, thinking of getting a chic frame. Something classy.” She gulped the rest of her cup. “Maybe, I ought to get together with Carol. Compare notes sometime. I’m sure she’d adore that.” Camille gave Tommy’s cheek a light smack and pressed her empty cup toward him until he took it. “Enjoy the party, boys. Queen’s gotta buzz.”

“Stay away from that one,” Tommy scoffed, pushing at Billy next to him who only smiled. “Daddy’s girl. Spoiled nightmare. Total bitch.” Billy inhaled smoke again and flicked ashes in Tommy’s direction to get him off his back.

“Rough and tumble girl.” He’d muttered more so to himself. Camille crossed to get another drink when Tommy came in boasting about their new keg king.

“Eat it, Harrington!” Another boy joined in. Chants of Billy’s name died down when the two teens sized each other up. Steve yanked his sunglasses away. Instant disdain. Nancy rolled her eyes and turned to get away from them, crossing to the bowl of punch.

“What’s in this one?” She leaned over to grab a cup.

“Pure fuel!” The drunk boy on Camille’s other side donned a toga and stumbled.

“Rat poison.” Camille was flat, sipping. "And I was so hoping for gasoline, we had rat poison at the last party." Nancy was already dunking her cup in to gulp.

“Whoa, slow down.” Camille touched her wrist. Nancy went in for another and Steve hurried over when Camille gave him a look.

“Take it easy, Nance. Hey...” He put his arm out and she scoffed at him, wiping the punch from her cheek.

“We’re just being stupid teenagers for the night. Wasn’t that the deal?” She was already intoxicated after three full cups. Ruefully, she moved beyond her friends and went to join the dancing with a fourth cup.

“I told you.” Camille pushed at Steve so he went after her. “What the hell?” She'd uttered under her breath, turning to almost run into Billy Hargrove’s bare chest. He enjoyed it a little too much.

“Scare you?”

“Second day in the manure fields of Hawkins and you are the new keg king. Your majesty.” She gave a mocking curtsy and shifted around him to lean against an empty doorway. The air smelled of booze and weed. Billy trailed after to light up another smoke. Intrigued, he puffed and offered it to her. A clear test. Intoxicated, Camille took it and dragged slowly, blowing air aside. “Afraid I only smoke on the rare drunken social occasion.” She offered it back with two fingers only for him to wrap his lips around it, blue eyes lingering when he inhaled. “You think you’re slick, don’t you?” Her hand pulled from him and he ghosted a smile with smoke edging between his teeth around the cigarette. Billy leaned into her space.

“You really think I can’t get a read on you, Harpy?” He was pleasantly drunk too.

“Harpy? That’s a new one.” Did she like it? Perhaps. “And, yes, actually. I do.”

“Got used to all these country boys tripping over themselves. Worker bee drones. But, you know they don’t stand a chance and you love it.” He pressed his palm to the door frame behind her to shift closer. Cologne invaded her senses above the smoke. Ashes flicked. He dragged once more and snuffed it into the wall after. “They all fall down. Can’t read the queen.”

“And you think you’re quick enough on your feet, Billy?” She watched that dear, charming smile cross his face. Hard not to melt at that. Camille trailed her eyes down his sharpened expression. His voice hushed.

“I think that you want to find out.” He leaned into her, eyelashes fluttering. Barely inches from those full, red lips; Billy heard her utter and touch his chest.

“Shit.” Camille came out from him to see Nancy trying to get back into the punch bowl. Billy stilled to lean out too, irritation twitched his brow. Almost had her.

“Nancy, stop, put it down.” Steve tried to wrestle the cup from her and Nancy was accidentally splashed with a full drink. Staining her white costume. The party stilled briefly to see the scuffle.

“What the hell?” Nancy slapped the cup down and hurried away. Camille forgot Billy in front of her and crossed after with Steve behind her. Nancy stumbled down a hallway and tripped with her friend barely catching her.

“Come on, I got you.”

“I don’t need your help,” Nancy pushed off and poked her shoulder. “You can’t just...just pretend to be my friend again because you feel sorry for Barb and I.”

“Nancy...it isn’t like that. I lost her too.” Camille stood taller. Steve drew forward as if to get between them.

“Where were you, then? Huh? Bullshitting with...with all your cool new people. Stuffing fingers down your throat because Carol said to." It only happened twice. "Buying another cool outfit, oh, so p-popular. Impress your asshole friends. We...We killed Barb.”

“Nancy, stop.” Steve tried to get her into the bathroom.

“She needed us. She was always there for us and we weren’t there!” Nancy jerked away and spun on her heel to shut herself into the bathroom. Steve paused to see the girl behind him.

“I deserved that.”

“She drank too much. She didn’t mean it,” Steve touched her arm. “And no, you didn’t. You and I...we made some shitty choices.”

“People were hurt because of them.” Camille offered.

“We can do better. We are.” Steve nodded. “I need to check on her.”

“Of course,” Camille turned and went back into the main room. Jonathan Byers crossed to see her. “Didn’t think you’d come.”

“I didn’t either.” Jonathan stuffed his hands into his pockets. “She okay?”

“I’m not sure anymore. Something's been… You guys are friends now, yeah?”

“Friends, I, uh, yes. We...We’re friends.” He’d stammered.

“Look. Have you noticed anything...off?”

“Off?” Jonathan shrugged awkwardly. “No, just-”

“The anniversary. Sure. Look, Jonathan, she likes you. She trusts you. Can you just...keep an eye on her?” She crossed her arms and there was a beat. “We weren’t ever friends and I was...not great to you.”

“You let your friend smash my camera.”

“You used that camera to take pictures of a girl undressing without her consent.” She pressed in an even tone and Jonathan dropped his head to nod. “We’re all stupid ass teenagers, right?”

“Guess so,” Jonathan relaxed when she smiled slightly at him. Steve came barging out to pass them, leaving.

“That isn’t good. Hey, I’m...too drunk to drive. Can you get Nancy home? She’s...not well.”

“Yeah,” Jonathan moved to pass her. “Stay safe.”

“You too...” She watched him go off, dropping her arms. Killed Barb. Nancy’s words. They haunted Camille the rest of that night.

** ** **

Camille stared at her chemistry book in study hall the next day, day dreaming while she doodled along her notebook. Killed Barb. Did Nancy believe that? Did they know more about that night? Those words flashed high like stage lights across her brain. A textbook slapped down across the way and Billy Hargrove was looking at her with those intent eyes. Pleased she jumped in shock, he suppressed a laugh when the librarian hushed him.

“Don’t think she likes me.” He muttered, still entertained.

“Can’t imagine why.” Camille sat back, annoyed. “What?”

“You’re avoiding me, Harpy.” He cocked his head and plopped down across from her. In the corner, they tried to stay hushed. Classic music played on low and Billy groaned to himself. “Not my fault that Strode paired us together for the project.” Camille shut her chem book and stuffed it away.

“Easy project, we pick a book from the list. Read it. Collaborate in a paper.”

“Pick one and sum it up for me.” He earned a silent laugh when she turned from him to peer outside at the crisp, grey day.

“Oh no, Billy boy, you’re going to at the very least skim the book and happily contribute to our paper. You can come to my place after school today, we’ll work on it. After you drop your sister off, I guess.”

“Max is my stepsister.” He corrected while she jotted her address down and slipped it into his hands.

“Be there or face my perfect student wrath.”

“Spitfire, I like it.” He leaned forward, arms crossing over the table. “You live in the rich neighborhood. Mommy and daddy going to be okay when I roll up to see their precious daughter? Oh, can’t forget the maid checking in all hours of the day.”

“They’re both out on business and the housekeeper is off today actually.”

“So, you’re inviting me to a big, empty house in the ritzy part of town...” He had far too many ideas.

“To work...on a project. There’s free take-out of our choosing in the deal if you show. And that sweet face will show.” She barely spared him a glance, clearly distracted still. Billy worked to catch her gaze.

“Worried about college when dearest dad can buy you any single one you want?”

“No, I just like to be the best.” She leaned forward too with a sly grin. “I enjoy school and I’m not planning on staying in a fancy house in Hawkins, Indiana with a husband I’ll never see. Especially when there is a whole world out there waiting for me to explore it.”

“Manure ain’t good enough for you now?”

“Very funny. Hawkins is too small for me. And I have a good brain that I like to put to use. I'm wasted here.” She shrugged. “No crime in that and daddy didn’t buy me everything, I saved for my own car. Now, I think you should use study hall to...study. That chem quiz Friday is going to kick your ass.”

“No use, I’m screwed.” He looked away and changed the subject. “What kind of take-out?”

“Possibly a large cheese pizza.” She quirked her lips while he rubbed his jaw.

“Hard bargain. Throw green peppers on half the pizza and I want a grand tour of your castle. You can put the royal stinger away for one night.”

“You’re just trying to waste time, Hargrove,” her eyes narrowed. Billy bit his bottom lip, entertained with a nod. Another heart melting expression when he gave her those big, blue eyes. “Deal.” She reached out and he curled his fingers around her hand to shake it.

"You won't regret this," his other hand covered hers to draw it out.

"Already am." She produced that honeyed smile a final time. Billy stood with his bag gripped tight, sliding around the table to lean next to her ear.

“I stand by what I said at the party. Just so we’re clear.” Slipping off, he disappeared behind a row of bookshelves. Camille suppressed another grin and went back to her notebook, shading in the petals of a sunflower. She imagined it in a field flooded by sunlight getting kissed by the wind. The smile broke through at the mere thought.

#billy hargrove #Billy hargrove x oc #billy hargrove fanfiction #billy hargrove fanfic #billy x camille #Camille Harper #Without the lights #billyhargrove #mine #writing #stranger things fic

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0225pm · 5 years ago

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wow the quality of the video really sucks after it has been compressed but well i don’t have a choice!

anyway, i’m moving back to tumblr again mainly cus wordpress sucks and it’s not allowing me to post videos unless i buy their premium plan which is tbh a no cus idk why platforms for blogging should even charge you for the features that they were supposed to have???? also sadly, tumblr also only lets you post 1 video per post limit which is why i’ve put the pics and videos i took into in one but it’s better than not being able to post a video at all.

so it’s our monthsary!!!!

we’ve been officially together for 3 years and 5 months now and wow, i’ve only just realised what a long time that is 😂 honestly, if you want to count how long it has been since we first met each other, it’ll probably be about 8 years now. tho han sees it as 8 years but i see it as 3y5m cus idk who he was back then ya know what i mean? like i know the 3y5m him now than the him 8 years ago.

han sent me his live location as he does so every sat, and i was late. even tho he came all the way to my place i was still late :/ and i was so sorry 😭 i know there shouldn’t be any excuses for my lateness but i have my reasons, even if anyone thinks it isn’t valid :/ so i alr prepared right? like i mentally prepared and visualize what i wanna wear and etc. and so i went to take a shower and all. and then my mom all of a sudden asked me to do things like ordering food for her, clipping her nails, airfrying some sotong balls cus she was feeling peckish. initially she asked me to order food, which i then did but it was immediately cancelled due to the weather. it suddenly rained really heavily. and then while i was in her room drying my hair, she suddenly said she wanted sotong balls which i then went to airfry. and then when i alr did that and continued drying my hair, she then asked me to clip her nails and i was like “i’m going out ibu later farhan will be waiting for me alr” and she was like nvm la it will only take a while. so i did that and then i had to just rush cus i checked his live location and he was alr nearing tenaga area which is so damn close to my place alr. then i quickly picked out the outfit i wanted to wear. i mean come on, it’s our monthsary and i wanted to dress up right and i alr had this mental image of what i wanna wear right? so i took it out, wore it and then i realized that it was still a bit rainy??? like kinda drizzling so i figured he’ll be coming up first to wait till the rain totally stops but he texted me asking me to come down instead. and at this point i was sweating profusely. yeah, it was rainy but i was feeling so warm from rushing and doing so many things at once. oh ya, i was wearing this satin white shirt with shorts and that was my initial outfit like it looks laidback and casual and effortless but i decided to change cus i was perspiring and it felt so uncomfortable wearing a satin material when you’re perspiring like heck!! so i ended up wearing my fav tee with the same shorts and brought my hoodie along. it’s also my fav hoodie from uniqlo. i think their hoodie quality is bomz it’s not too thick or too thin and i wanna buy more but maybe wait till they have sales or something. so i ended up just looking super hobo as heck like it just looks like i didn’t even bother to dress up and i felt sad but i didn’t want han to be waiting even longer.

so when i went down he was alr sitting at the seats at the void deck and i can feel anger radiating within him lol like i knew he was mad and he still had his helmet on and his rain jacket on and all. and then he gave me different options of where to go for our lunch and then i just sat there pondering for a bit. and then i asked him if he wanted to put the jacket and pants at home but he didn’t want to so he took it off and then put it on the table and he took off his helmet as well. and then i asked him if we could eat at genki and he told me that genki was one of the options that he forgot to list so we decided on genki! his anger didn’t last long and as he stood up to head over to his bike i went to him and open up my arms cus i just wanted to hug him lolol then at first he tried to act all “ew” and moved away but he ended up hugging me anyway hehe and then don’t want to let go lol so bobo so cute. honestly i’m still shy??? around him wtf. like when i initiated the hug itself i felt so shy loooooollllll and when he didn’t wanna let go it made me blush wtf but ofc he can’t see cus we have to wear the stupid mask bc of stupid covid. i hate it wtf my face is so sensitive and it’s breaking out bc of having to wear the mask so my skin can’t breathe. like what’s the point of me not wearing makeup underneath the mask when i still break out anyway right zzz hais. ok sorry side track a bit but ya hahaha so then i told him i wanted to show him something!!! and then he was like “eh eh who said you let go” or was it “who said you can stop hugging” but it’s either one la hahaha then i took his hand and pull down my mask and then kissed his hand 😂 then i told him to look and i said “no transfer”!!!!!! hahahahaha cus i was wearing this lipstick and wtf man the formula is damn amazing really didn’t transfer anywhere at all. i even kissed my own hand and i even drank water but not transfer AT ALL. it was a gift i got from two years back i think hahaha for my bday from rai, a kylie kit and i haven’t worn it out before mainly bc the color didn’t suit my skintone cus the shade felt so light but when i wore it this time it felt like the shade was darker somehow? idk if i became pale from staying at home all the time or idk lol but i like the shade now 😌

oh at first i didn’t wanna go to tampines cus we always go to tampines hahaha and i guess i made a face and han teased me about it lol as much as it annoys me it’s a good kind of annoying? 😂 cus he’s so cute whenever he teases me in that way lolol but we ended up just heading to tampines anyway cus he wanted to save up on petrol also and i thought ok ya cus he has to work now and he has to go to and fro everyday so it’s better for him to save the petrol as well. i put on my hoodie and then we went to the usual parking spot at tampines. and then bc both of our masks were down i could actually kiss him hehe. and then from there we walked to the front entrance of the mall cus of this covid there’s only one in and out entrance but entering was a breeze tbh cus even tho there was a long line, we didn’t have to wait long.

then we went up to the escalator. and genki wasn’t crowded at all either so that was great!!! we did the safe entry thing, got our temperature taken and got our seats. then we ordered some food hehe. i was excited cus lol i love genki. not as much as i love my bf but if i have to choose an express sushi shop i would choose genki 😂 i wanted something soupy and filling so i got their beef udon since i alr had their duck udon the previous time we went there. and then i got a drink and chawanmushi as an appetizer. i love their chawanmushi as well and it’s something i will always get. i used to buy their clams miso soup but since it was taken out of the menu, i got their chawanmushi instead. and i was so happy when han decided to try the chawanmushi!!!!! i’ve always knew him as someone that wasn’t into eggs but he actually liked this one!! and he even ate the prawn and the naruto/japanese fish cake when i fed it to him omg 😭😭😭 i was legit so happy wtf hahahaha and then his fried squid came, also one of the hot foods i will always order but usually i’ll get it if i didn’t buy any of the udon. but since i alr got the udon i didn’t order it. and then his mini chicken teriyaki don came and lol the bowl was rly so mini ahahaha i wish i took a picture of it but i didn’t. but it was worth for the price of $4 i think since it was actually filled to the brim. there was even slices of tamago in it. he fed me a spoonful and it was nice!!! i’m gonna try that next time i go to genki if i’m feeling like eating rice 😂 i like udon cus of the chewy texture of the noodles and the soup. and then a plate of mentaiko fries came 🤤 there was A LOT of mentaiko on it it was so amazing and i was so surprise cus i didn’t order it but at the end of the day han said that he saw that i didn’t order the fries so he ordered it for me 🥺😍 so sweet hais and i really enjoyed it. i love genki’s mentaiko sauce it’s so damn goooooodddddd. so salty so nice. and then my udon came hehe and i devoured it. i fed han some too and gave him one of the fish cakes cus i think they made a mistake and put two pieces. the udon was so good i love it hahahaha. and then han ordered a seaweed roll, 2 more beef sushi and 1 mentaiko salmon for me hehe yes i know how to eat salmon now!!!! but it must be seared. i still can’t eat raw ones unless i rly dipped it in soy sauce or if it’s cut super thinly then maybe can try 😅

then after we finished eating, we went up to see if we can catch a movie. i wasn’t sure if we’re allowed to sit together so i asked him to ask first if we have to be separated and yay we don’t have to separate!!! so we decided to watch train to busan 2: peninsula. since we alr watched the first one together and there wasn’t much movies that were showing so we decided to catch the 5:10pm slot. it’s been so so so long since we last watched a movie tgt so this was nice. we didn’t get anything to eat since we just ate and i was still full but we had some time so we went to fairprice and got some candies. then farhan bought a root beer slushy which turns out to be scam!!! cus it’s just ice and it was practically solidified even after the movie was over it didn’t even melt much within 2 hours wtf. and then he also got a hotdog bun 😂

the movie was great. not as great as the first one cus the first one was definitely much more impactful but this one was not too bad. a bit too much “racing” scenes but i guess it’s to keep its audience on the toes. the storyline is a bit meh as well but i guess the suspense from some parts made up for it. it’s quite tragic though.

and then after the movie, i asked han if he still wanted pizza but when we saw the queue there was still a bunch of people waiting for their orders. even some foodpanda and grab delivery riders were waiting so i told him we’ll just order in and at first he was like we’ll see how but i ordered anyway. then we went out to head home and han finally lighted a cigarette. hahahaha he actually had to suppressed his desire to smoke cus we didn’t have time since i chose the earlier slot for the movie and im so proud of him for being able to suppress the feeling and yet not turning into a cranky momok.

while on the way back, he wanted to top up some petrol so we stopped by spc and then he wanted to top up his cashcard so we had to go one big round from the carpark to where he can top up his card but the machine is stupid!!! and he got upset cus he wasn’t able to top up his card. i think he still prefers the card with chip reader than the contactless ones. so then we decided to head to 7-11 so he can purchase one with chip but they ran out. so we decided to find another petrol station cus he said usually it’s being sold there too. so we did and this time round i guess i was being cranky cus the seat of his bike was eating into my skin and it hurts like heck so i told him to just top up the card since they don’t have the chip ones and he needed to top up anyway but then in front there was another petrol station and apparently they had a chip + contactless card there and i think they only accepted cash for it so he came out and then went in back and bought one there. and i was still cranky lol and i was perspiring so much both from my scalp to my body and it was drizzling too so all i wanted to do was head home so i got upset and i lashed it out on him when we made our way back cus he kept trying to make a joke out of the pain i felt and it just triggered me cus it’s like he doesn’t understand how much it hurts??

but it’s not his fault. cus i’m the one that chose to wear shorts even tho i know how much it hurts when i sit too long on the bike. and then he said he’ll cut the netting off but i was like no wtf. cus 1, we don’t meet everyday which sucks but ya we don’t and thus i’m not the one sitting on the back of his bike everyday so having to sit one day out of the week doesn’t bother me as much as having to sit on it everyday ya know what i mean? and 2, the parts that are still protected which is probably about 90-80% of the seat is still useable so it’ll be able to help protect the other areas from getting damage by the claws of cats.

and then when we got back, he wanted to pass his gummies to me but no one in this household eats gummies or candies. my mom can’t even eat sugary content cus of health, my dad isn’t a fan of gummies or candies he much prefers chips and chocolates and my brother too prefers chocolates or ice creams. i don’t like sugary content either but unless it comes from cakes or pastries or ice creams or chocolates so rly, no one is gonna eat it. and then he got mad at me and all i could hear was “you do to me can but when i’m doing it to you cannot” and i didn’t get what he meant by that tbh so i just kept quiet all the way till we’re home. i quickly took off my hoodie, changed into a more comfortable shorts went to take a piss and then went into my room. i sat down for awhile in front of the fan cus i was sweating so much and then i cooled down before i apologized to him and then asked him if he was still upset. i tried to get him to explain what he meant but couldn’t get anything out of him cus he just prefers to sweep it under the rug whereas i like to talk about it so i can see what i did wrong or which areas i have to improve or change so it can better our lives ya know but he’s not like that and i have to understand it so i just kept quiet and then i kissed him and stroked his face and hair a little.

and then he asked me if the pizza was here and i said ya hahaha it’s alr in the kitchen and whether he wants me to take it so he was like yes and as i was going to take the pizza he grabbed me and hugged me tight and i just instantly melted. it was genuinely hot lol i like this kinda shit hahahahaha but i’ve always felt afraid that i was gonna hurt him with my weight so i didn’t dare do anything that will shift my whole weight onto him but he didn’t care and he said it doesn’t hurt 🥺 haissss

honestly going home was all i was looking forward to. it’s not bc i’m horny lol or maybe that’s one of the reason but it’s mainly bc i just want to lay in his arms and just cuddle and give him kisses and also receive kisses. i’ve missed him all week long and we haven’t really been able to talk much since he’s working and he’s always tired when he gets home but it’s good that he’s working hard for his future and for our future.

and then the time for him to head home came. a truly saddening end of the day and he left a little later than usual but i’m just glad he got home safely and didn’t get lectured for being home a little late.

#adaywithhan #julywithhan

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