#she was out there bitching about corruption BUT as far as canon goes she ended up covering for leon and the mf chip

[rescuefield-arch1]

still thinking about what dylan told claire and how technically it wouldn't even be that false if only we had seen more of what claire did post ID

[slimepuparibaba]

Stars and Asters: Chapter 1.0 - "How to Train Your Drunk Bards' Dragon" Act 1... or something

Ari's Braindead Notes:

guys i know liyue was included in patch 1.0 okay but listen cut me some slack im literally covering all of mondstadt in this fucking chapter kJHAKLDFHAKLJDFHL

also yes characters interacting time, this will be a lot more fun for me

we do be skipping around to get to the more interesting points

if u wanna like make this fully fledged by all means have at it or like do anything with it i rlly dont care plz just end my misery i am like at my computer dying, wondering what ive done with my life

this is so unserious ok im so not sorry

anyway

without further ado:

CHAPTER 1.0 ACT 1: WHO'S READY FOR SOME MOTHA-FLIPPIN TUTORIALS?!

[WORD COUNT: 8.2k words (i am... so sorry)]

Areas of Genshin canon covered: Beginning of Game to End of Four Temples of Mondstadt

&lt;prev> <masterlist> <next>

Ah, Teyvat. Beautiful, innit? Amazing world full of--

Oh shit, nope, wait. Nevermind. Wake up, bitches, time to run, because the Cataclysm (chat noir??) happened.

So we introduce our two heroes, Aether and Lumine. They wanna escape Teyvat, and then Miss Totally Not Kiana The Unknown God, Asmoday (we think that's her name) shows up, forbidding the Travelers from escaping.

Fun Fact: That Unknown God? That's our corrupted God Program right there, taking the form of the most powerful entity in the world at present to exert control. So far, nothing's gone wrong. Haha. Haha.

Hah.

Anyway, Aether and Lumine decide to fight her, flying towards her, and then just as they dive up and are about to strike, the Unknown God freezes Lumine first.

Panicking, Aether calls out to Lumine before diving at the Unknown God. Yup. Aether is the prota--

Nope. Wait. Hold on. Wh... What's happening with Lumine's prison?

Suddenly, something LITERALLY NO ONE SEES COMING, Lumine breaks out, and through some unknown ability, is able to teleport RIGHT BEHIND THE UNKNOWN GOD, THIS CLOSE to getting a headshot.

Panicked, the Unknown God instead freezes Aether. Lumine calls out his name, then goes to strike again, only to be frozen second, crying out for the Unknown God to give Aether back.

Lumine, in the World System's eyes, has now been fully registered as the Traveler. While Aether, registered as the Abyss Prince.

So, fun fact: according to the "original world seed", that wasn't supposed to happen. Aether was supposed to be the protagonist, not Lumine. Like... something was wrong.

And the God Program? Was pissed.

She kept demanding that the World System reset. Again and again, but the World System refused. The only way the World System would reset was if the God Program reset with it.

God Program: Everything went wrong... you were supposed to be the Abyss Monarch, not your brother...! God Program: No matter... I can simply restart-- World System: Failed to execute deletion due to preexisting condition. God Program: ...Condition? What condition?! The condition claimed that her brother remain the protagonist. If she fails that condition-- World System: Teyvat ver. 5410010 World Console Rule No. 1 - The twin who is first reduced to nothing via the Unknown God is embedded with the Abyssal Monarch spirit data, whereas the leftover twin is embedded with the Traveler Twin spirit data. God Program: But resetting is the only way to get the story to work-- World System: Teyvat ver. 5410010 World Console Rule No. 1 Clause 1 - Once the Traveler and Abyssal Twins have been decided, this decision is permanent and no resetting is allowed. The only options include: deletion of the world console and the Overseer, continue with the storyline. God Program: ...That little bitch... God Program: Show me her data. Now.

The World System pulls up Lumine's data, and something of note is... different about her.

Avatar Name: Female Traveler Nickname: Lumine Model Type: Girl Weapon Type: Sword Element: Changeable Special Condition: Carrier of the Charitas Gene

For simplicity's sake, I'm not gonna explain what the Charitas Gene is. But the God Program is definitely not happy about it, far as I can tell.

(eyo ma'am we get it, youre miguel o'hara but a bitch goddamn--)

And so, Lumine falls asleep for 500 years. And now, we reach Mondstadt's beach, where she talks to Paimon and recaps her on everything that happened.

Paimon is also a literal fish out of water (get it? Because. Because she was fished out? ...okay, I'll see myself out--)

The two became close friends over the past two months and Paimon decides that their first stop should be Mondstadt! Which is. Literally right there. (like c'mon guys, it took you this long to figure it out?)

Also because I like showcasing character moments, please enjoy the two's banter. Please. They're actual sisters.

Lumine: You know... I never really understood how you could've nearly drowned. Paimon: What do you mean by that? Lumine: Oh, nothing... Lumine: I mean, you could've just flown out of the water. Paimon: Hey! J-Just so you know, there's LOTS of other animals that can fly, but they ended up drowning too!  Lumine: That's because their wings got damaged and they couldn't fly out the water. And, as far as I'm aware, Paimon? You don't have wings. Paimon: (unconvincingly) W-well... u-uh... it was... Paimon's legs! Yeah, her legs! They were super sore! Lumine: (chuckling) Mhm. Sure, they were.

The two head over to the first Statue of the Seven they find, and Paimon catches Lumine up on some of the "lore" of the world--about the Archons, about the elements, the statues. And then, immediately, Paimon just. Tells Lumine to touch the statue.

Paimon: Hey, maybe you should try touching it! Lumine: Uh, what-- Paimon: You heard Paimon! Touch the statue and pray to it! Lumine: Those are two entirely different things--

And so, Lumine resonates with Anemo...

...and accidentally windblades herself backwards onto the ground.

Paimon reveals that Lumine was likely blessed with Barbatos' blessing, the Anemo Archon, and that Mondstadt City would gladly welcome her in (to Lumine's confusion, because that's like calling the capital of England "England City", but whatever--)

Before they can decide to move there, gigantic-ass dragon flies over. The two go to check it out and see a green bard (we know it's Venti, this is very much obvious by now) talking to a dragon.

As the two peek in, Paimon accidentally floats too close, losing balance and bumping into Lumine, who creates a large blast of Anemo energy, startling the dragon.

The dragon flies off and Venti disappears. When they go to search for it, they find a red teardrop and have. No clue what to do with it. Lumine holds it in her hand.

Lumine: Huh... never seen anything like this before. Paimon: Paimon hasn't either! She can't tell what it is, but looks like we'll just have to take it with us! Lumine: You're saying we have to hold this the entire way? It's not like I have a bag or anything... Paimon: U-uh, m-maybe we...

The crystal randomly dissipates while the two ponder and Lumine and Paimon scream.

Lumine: T-THE CRYSTAL?! Paimon: WHERE'D IT GO?! WHERE'D IT GO?! Lumine: DON'T ASK ME! I WAS JUST HOLDING IT AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN--

The crystal reappears in Lumine's held out hands. Paimon and Lumine scream again, Lumine falling backwards as it hovers.

Lumine: It just... a-appeared again. Paimon: M-maybe... perhaps... Paimon: Oh! Maybe you have a psychic storage space that you learned about from another world!

Half-right. It's the World System working in the "game inventory" mechanic.

Lumine: Yeah, no, I don't think that's it.

It's kinda that.

Anyway, Lumine tests it again, concentrating carefully, only for it to dissipate into thin air. She stares at her palms and--yeah, no, it's definitely gone now.

Paimon: And now it's gone again! Lumine: Seems like along with my Anemo prowess, I can summon items and store them at well... Paimon: So it IS a psychic storage space... Lumine: I'd like to think of it as a virtual inventory. Paimon: Haaah, well, if that's really what you think, then Paimon won't correct you...

Virtual Inventory now introduced as an actual living breathing mechanic that Lumine can utilize as hammer space, they trek to the Whispering Woods, where they meet Amber, who is all like "hey you kinda sus"

Paimon and Lumine give Amber some sas, hilarity ensuing

Amber: You don't look like citizens of Mondstadt. Explain yourselves! Paimon: WE'RE NOT DOING ANYTHING ILLEGAL! Lumine: (internally) Only criminals say that kind of thing...?! Lumine: Sorry, ignore her. She's not good under pressure. I'm Lumine, and that's Paimon. We're really not looking for any trouble. Amber: Hmm... Lumine and Paimon, huh? Doesn't sound like any local names to me. Lumine: (internally) Not wrong... Amber: Well, other than your odd clothing style, you're clear, Lumine. Lumine and Paimon: (internally) Like your clothing is anymore conventional?!

No more time for chit chat, girls, because we got an issue with Hilichurs! Lumine feels like she can hear some sort of "Amber has joined your party" ringing in the back of her head, but she shakes it off as something she thought of herself.

So they find a Hilichurl Camp, and here is where we immediately start deviating.

Paimon: Whoa…! An entire Hilichurl Camp! Lumine: A Hili-what? Amber: Those. Hilichurls.

Amber points to the Hilichurls eating and dancing around a fire. Some are sharpening their axes, others stringing their bows.

Lumine: ...they look... kinda cute. Amber: Yeah, they seem cute, but they can get aggressive to people like you and me. They're too close to the city, so my task this time is to clear out their camp. Lumine: Wait, why can't we just say 'hi' and ask them politely to leave? Amber: B-Because they don't speak our language--wait, Traveler? Where are you going?!

Lumine then decides it's a smart idea to walk up to one of the hilichurls who's happily eating a Sunsettia. She kneels down and tries to talk to them.

Lumine: Um... Hi there, little fella. Hilichurl: ...? Ya!

The Hilichurl stands up, grabbing the club next to him and ready to hit Lumine. He drops his Sunsettia on the ground, but Lumine holds out her arm as if trying to show she means no harm.

Lumine: H-hey, no... uh... no fight! Paimon: Lumine, they won't listen! Hilichurls aren't-- Lumine: Shh, I think I'm making progress...!

Though she struggles, she tries to reason with the Hilichurl and hands it the Sunsettia, hoping to reason.

Lumine: Here… go on, take it.

The Hilichurl looks at her hand, then to the others in his group. They too seem puzzled, but do nothing. Finally, the Hilichurl takes the Sunsettia into his palms and stares at Lumine, before dancing a bit.

Paimon: …h-he… he seems happy…! Hilichurl: Valo valo! Ya mi tomo!

A flash of recognition appears in Lumine's eyes, as if she understands what the Hilichurl is saying. This shouldn't be normal, but she knows anyway. So, she continues conversing.

Lumine: You're welcome. Hey, do you think you can move the camp a little farther into the forest? Hilichurl: Dala? Lumine: Mm… mostly because the other people might be too scared of you, so they'll try and attack. Hilichurl: Mm…

The Hilichurl turns to his friends and starts speaking, Lumine understanding that he's requesting to move the camp farther from the city. After a bit, he returns to conversing with Lumine. Paimon and Amber look from afar in bewilderment.

Amber (shouting): What did he say? Lumine (shouting): He said that they were told to be stationed here by someone, but since I asked nicely, they'll move!

The Hilichurls seem happy that they were able to communicate, and suddenly, the one friendly Hilichurl runs over to the inside of the main hut, motioning Lumine to come over.

Lumine follows, and in front of the Friendly Hilichurl is a small, common chest. Lumine, in shock, looks at him as if affirming what the Hilichurl is offering. He nods in response, and Lumine opens it. Inside, however, is something uncommon…

Inside of the chest is a sword and a bow. The sword is glowing brightly with an aqua-green hue, while the bow seems to have the same sigil that Amber wears on her outrider outfit.

The Hilichurls wave goodbye to the trio as Lumine hands the bow over to Amber, keeping the sword in her grasp. Paimon and Amber are both astonished, as the Hilichurls fulfill their promise and start to move out further into the forest.

Amber: …How… did you do that? Paimon: Paimon's never seen someone interact with Hilichurls like that before… Lumine: Wait, really? No one's asked nicely? Amber: I mean, we've tried, but they couldn't understand us. It usually led to them getting upset and lashing out at us, so whenever they see a person, they strike first on reflex. Lumine: Well… that one Hilichurl said he'd try putting in a good word for me with the other tribes. So, maybe the issue's solved? Paimon: You understood Hilichurlian! That's amazing! Lumine: Just a bit. I'm more surprised he understood me. He seems like a sweet guy--seems like he's the youngest of the group. Amber: All that information from a single exchange with a Hilichurl… Ella Musk would be impressed…

Aside from me restraining myself from wishing Ella Musk's name was changed, the group then realizes that Amber gained a Favonius Warbow. And, for some reason... Luine has the Aquila Favonia?

No one really knows why, but anyway, the group heads back to Mondstadt. Amber catches 'em up: Stormterror is a big dragon that brings gigantic storms whenever he's near, and so Mondstadt's in a tight spot. The Knights of Favonius also have to deal with Hilichurls moving closer and closer into the city, but Lumine realizes something.

Lumine (internally): It doesn't add up... the Hilichurl I talked to said they were told to be stationed there, like they were told by a tactician. Not to mention the person in green who talked to the dragon… something's not right.

Detective Lumine, who decided to turn into Rosa from Tears of Themis for a good bit, then goes with Paimon and Amber to Mondstadt.

They take a tour around the city, which is pretty empty, and learn about what Mondstadt is like. Lumine makes mental note to never indulge in any of the taverns because she apparently might get too caught up in taste-testing wine to the point where she'll become flat-out drunk. Sasuga Traveler.

And then, Lumine is given a Wind Glider by Amber. She glides around, and suddenly, when she lands, the wind glider dissipates. Amber explains this to Lumine. More mechanics.

Amber: Wow, you did pretty well! And it seems like the Wind Glider recognized you as it's owner. Paimon: "Recognized"? What's that mean? Amber: : Some of the items in this world have a will imbedded in them, like my new bow! Amber summons the bow in her hands, which seems to come out of nowhere. This surprises Paimon and Lumine. Amber: See, if an item recognizes you as it's owner and synchronizes with you, you can summon it at will! Practically appears and disappears when you ask it to. Cool trick, right? Paimon: So that's what it is! Amber: Though it's a bit strange. Usually, only Vision holders can achieve this, but… as far as I can see, you don't have a Vision, Traveler. Lumine: …a Vision? Amber: Yeah. A Vision! You see, a Vision is--!

Woops, sorry walking exposition, but we got a dragon to deal with! A tornado begins to form--multiple tornadoes in fact, and as Amber and Paimon run away, Lumine gets Dorothy'd up into the air. Paimon and Amber try to hold her down, but nope.

But, with Venti's help, Lumine remains stable. She's instructed by Venti to "deal with Dvalin".

Venti: You're doing great! Keep it up! Lumine: It'd be nice if you could've introduced yourself before you put me in this situation! Venti: You really want an introduction at a time like this?! Mondstadt needs your help! Lumine: Okay, but when this is all over, I EXPECT answers!

On the ground, Paimon is watching worriedly for Lumine and is this close to flying in, but Amber is busy evacuating citizens.

Amber: Paimon, there's some citizens trying to seek shelter! We have to help! Paimon: B-but…! But what about--? Amber (serious): I know you're worried about your partner, but she looks like she can fend off Mondstadt against the dragon. Right now, these innocent people can't. I need your help.

Paimon seems unsure, looking back up at the sky for Lumine. Amber again asks, but this time, it comes out more as a plea.

Amber: Please…

Paimon then looks at Amber, nodding. Amber runs off, trying to help out innocents. Paimon hesitates, looking up at the sky one last time.

Paimon: …please be okay, Lumine…!

She then flies off in Amber's direction, assisting as best as she can.

Meanwhile, there's this guy... a guy with an eyepatch awtching from afar. He's doing that "cool guy" pose, leaning against the support beam of a building. Congratulations--we've met Kaeya.

Kaeya: So, an Outlander has come to save us from the big, scary dragon. How amusing…

Lisa, who is actually doing work for once, scolds Kaeya as she escorts a woman and her child to safety

Lisa: Kaeya! A little bit of help would be appreciated. Kaeya: Right. Sorry. Got distracted by the light show.  Lisa: Kaeya, not now! Kaeya: Alright, alright. I'm coming. No need to worry so much, Lisa.

While he's busy, though, he still is thinking heavily about that person in the sky... wondering about something. But, oh well, whatever.

After some time passes, Lumine successfully shoos Dvalin away and lands on the ground, where Paimon tearfully hugs Lumine tightly, glad she's okay.

Anyway, then Kaeya comes up

Kaeya (clapping): Well, well, well. You've actually got the power to go up against the dragon... Lumine: ? Kaeya: Are you perhaps a new ally... Kaeya: Or a new storm? Lumine and Paimon (staring): ... Paimon (whispering): Is he really a Knight? Lumine (whispering): No, I think he's a pirate. Kaeya (surprised): Huh. That's. Not the reaction I was expecting.

Anyway, we're introduced to Kaeya and the group heads to the Knights of Favonius, where they meet Jean and Lisa and basically go over how fucked the shit is.

Jean: So that's the situation. Stormterror's power sources must be cut off, and we need your help. I promise, we will help you seek out your brother. Lisa: Mhm. That's right, cuties! Lumine: ... Lumine: Okay so... stop THAT. Lisa: Hm? Lumine: And also, how... many Temples are we dealing with? Kaeya: Three of the Four Temples. Lumine: ... Lumine: I'm sorry, what happened to the fourth? Paimon: is it the rule of threes? Lumine: This sounds like the rule of threes. Amber: What are you guys even saying? Kaeya (snickering): Pffft... finally, my kind of crowd. Amber: No. Stop Do not.

So with that out of the way, Lisa and Kaeya join the party and embark on the quest to the Three Temples--I mean, Three of the Four Temples.

No, Paimon, Lumine, and Kaeya will NOT stop joking about it.

Lumine: But if the fourth temple is off-limits, shouldn't you just call it the three temples? Lisa: Well, you see, it's because-- Paimon: Yeah! If you keep saying it's dangerous but it still exists, then people who would want to visit the Temples would try to find the fourth anyway! Because completionism! Kaeya: Ah, see, I brought up that same point as well, but the Acting Grandmaster said otherwise. Amber: Listen, we're visiting THREE TEMPLES. Okay? Just three! No more! Paimon: No four. Lumine: What a bore. Kaeya: Such a chore. Amber: And no rhyming games! Kaeya: What a... Paimon, Lumine, and Kaeya: Shame? Lisa (sighs): A long errand this will be, won't it, Amber? Amber: You're telling me...

I'm not going to go over the stupid Temples, okay? Like. Literally no one remembers them. I'm skipping them. Shush. This is my fic, I do what I want.

Most you'll get is tidbits of what happens in each one.

First up we have the Temple of the Falcon, where we see Amber in action. And, um...

Amber: Oh no, Hilichurls! Lisa: Quickly, we must defeat them! Kaeya: Right. Amber: Oh, there's explosive barrels over there! Maybe if I throw Baron Bunny over-- Lumine: Oh, hey! Is that you, little guy? Friendly Hilichurl (from before): Tomo! Kaeya, Lisa, and Amber: ... All three: What? Lumine: Sorry for intruding. Were you guys stationed here too? Friendly Hilichurl: Dada. Dala si? Lumine: Oh, some friends of mine. Hey, listen, do you know where some sort of... draconic power is? Friendly Hilichurl: Da! Zido, zido! Paimon: Wow, Lumine, your Hilichurlian is really helpful! Lumine: I know, right? Kinda glad about that. Kaeya: ... Kaeya: S... she speaks... Amber: Yup. Lisa: And she negotiated with... Amber: Mhm. Kaeya: ... Kaeya: That's... a new one...

--yeah, so I lied. Remember how Lumine communicated with the Hilichurls earlier? Yeah, it makes things significantly easier for them.

They take out a Dragon's Breath, move onto the next Temple. Here, Lumine learns about Visions... and the group also tries to avoid every single sexual innuendo Lisa makes.

Lisa: So as you can see, when enemies are Wet, I can easily handle them via chain lightning, as they become electro-charged. Lumine: ... Paimon: ... Lia: The electrical discharge caused by friction is only a little less shocking than love at first sight. Lumine, covering Paimon's ears: Paimon, you're too young to hear this. Paimon, covering her eyes: Paimon is too Paimon to see this. Kaeya: Lisa, maybe cut down on the adult erotica you read? Amber: KAEYA! Kaeya, covering Lumine's ears: What? Just sayin'. Not in front of the children. Lumine: I AM 5'2", THAT IS LIKE AVERAGE HEIGHT FOR A FEMALE ADULT! Kaeya: Sure, kiddo. Lumine, squirming: HANDS OFF, HANDS OFF--!

Lisa also gets a new weapon here, but that's neither really here or there. I'm not gonna mention much about weapons, guys, unless the character is like super important.

Anyway, two out of the four three temples left! Kaeya's turn! And. Um. Well.

Kaeya: Luckily, the Hilichurls weren't so much as a problem this time... Kaeya, turning to Lumine, swinging around his new sword he just got cuz he wants to look like a badass: So. You said they were stationed here? Lumine: Yup. That's what they told me. They typically want to be as far out from humans or human-traveled locations as much as possible so they can live peacefully, but they only ever approach if stationed there. Kaeya: Interesting... Then perhaps. Kaeya, to the Hydro Abyss Mage behind him: YOU were behind this! Hydro Abyss Mage: Gohus, Chiso Vo--

And then a gigantic ass flaming claymore bursts in, hitting the Hydro Abyss Mage.

Hydro Abyss Mage: GAH-- Kaeya: ..well, well, look who it is. Diluc: Knights of Favonius. Always so inefficient. Kaeya: Agree to disagree. But, since you got involved, this should be more interesti-- Amber: KAEYA, DILUC, I GET THAT YOU'RE BICKERING, BUT THE THING ISN'T GONE! Kaeya and Diluc: ?! Lisa, busy electrocuting it: Master Diluc, may we remind you the basics of elemental resonation and why fire doesn't work effectively on water? Diluc: ... Kaeya: ...

Kaeya proceeds to freeze the Hydro Abyss Mage.

Diluc: ... Kaeya: So. 'Inefficient', you said? Diluc: ...tch.

Diluc leaves, while Lumine and Paimon just stare.

Lumine: ...was he... trying to be cool? Paimon: That was... the worst first imperssion ever. Kaeya: Pfft. Yup. Knew I liked you two.

So anyhow and anyway, the group returns to Mondstadt and updates Jean on everything, with Lumine and Paimon learning the Fourth Temple was actually Dvalin's. Insert an "ooooooh" here.

Well, actually, before they update Jean, they see her arguing with Fatui diplomats on things.

Jean: That was the Fatui... from Snezhnaya. Lumine: Actually, it's pronounced "Fah-twee". Jean: ...what? Lumine: You're pronouncing it like pah-tooey, like when someone expectorates. Lumine: Anyway, continue. Jean: Oh... kay...? Paimon: Wait, so the Fatui wanted to kill Stormterror? Kaeya: To be fair, the Cryo Archon and the Fatui have always coveted the other Archons' powers... Lumine: Okay, but why? Kaeya: Beats me. Paimon: Aren't you a Knight? Shouldn't you know more about politics? Kaeya: Aren't you the "number one traveling companion"? Shouldn't YOU know more about Teyvat in general? Paimon: D'oh...

Lisa and Jean then take a look at the red crystal, amused by it. They claim that it's impure, and surprising that Lumine isn't affected by it. Then, she is honored with the title.

Jean: Now then, Traveler... The Knights of Favonius have another favor to ask of you. Lumine: You can just call me Lumine... no need to call me Trave-- Jean: Please accept the title of Honorary Knight... and the gratitude of the Acting Grand Master! Lumine: Aaaaand a new title. Awesome. Paimon: Wow, look at that, Lumine! The Honorary Knight of Favonius! Kaeya: And now you're subject to being called Honorary Knight to the end of your days. Lumine: Haha, very funny.

The group disperses, going their seperate ways, only for Lumine and Paimon to ask for lodging! W-well, except, um...

Paimon: Paimon can't BELIEVE it! The Fatui took ALL THE ROOM IN THE GOETHE HOTEL?! Lumine: And to think it's the only hotel in Mondstadt... for the supposed capital of the place, you'd think there'd be more. Paimon: Urgh... those Fatui! And Paimon could've ordered food service. Lumine: Ah, so YOUR main complaint was food service. Paimon: W-well, who are we supposed to call here? Captain Eyepatch?! Lumine: Or Noelle. Apparently she's like the maid here? Paimon: Yeah, but... Paimon would feel bad asking her for room service... Lumine: (laughs) Paimon: So, Amber said that our room was... this one, right?

Lumine and Paimon arrive at their temporary lodging--the Knights of Favonius HQ. Well, specifically, the area where the Knights who live in the HQ stay. Thankfully, there were open spaces due to a large majority of the soldiers being gone with the actual Grandmaster of the Knights.

When Paimon and Lumine open the room, they find it's... pretty quaint. They get a decent view, a comfy bed. Though, there is a LOT of Favonius paraphernalia--from the books, to the carpet. Even the curtains and...

Lumine: Huh. Didn't know that had Favonius-branded napkins. Paimon: And lamps. Lumine: ...interesting...

Lumine and Paimon take the chance to settle down, sitting back and getting comfy.

Paimon: Lumine, you sure are getting comfortable with the Teyvatan language, though! Those two months of practicing were worth it, weren't they? Lumine: I also had to relearn how to walk again... you know, they never talk about how over five hundred years of sleeping can seriously affect your ability to move. Paimon: Mhm! But it was all worth it in the end!

As Lumine and Paimon lie down on their bed, Lumine looks up at the ceiling. It's getting dark out... they've been busy all day. Talk about an action-packed first day properly interacting with Teyvatan locals.

Lumine: ...it's only been a day, huh? Paimon: ... Paimon: Lumine? Lumine: Hm? Paimon: Are you... sad?

Paimon turns around, looking up at Lumine. She's worried.

Paimon: Do you think the Anemo Archon is the one that took your brother? Lumine: ...no. Far from it. If the statue is anything like the god that took him from me? Definitely not her. Paimon: Do you think he'd at least know her? Lumine: Well... I guess we could ask. Paimon: ...Paimon's sorry. Lumine: Hm? For what?

Paimon grows quiet, then whimpers.

Paimon: ...if Paimon could remember, Paimon would tell you, but...

When Lumine found Paimon, Paimon commented that there were things she did and didn't remember.

Lumine: Well, you seemed to remember some things as we made our way here, right? Paimon: Right, but... it only happened when Paimon saw them. It was like Paimon couldn't remember until she had to remember. Lumine: ...then, when the time comes, you'll remember. I know it. Paimon: ...mn. Paimon hopes so.

Paimon lets out a big yawn, and Lumine smiles gently. For the past two months, it's just been her and Paimon against the world. They've practically become inseperable. Attached to the hip.

Lumine: Tired? Paimon: Mn... Lumine: Go to sleep then, Paimon. It's been a long day.

Lumine stands up, gently tucking Paimon into bed. However, Paimon calls out to Lumine.

Paimon: Lumine, what about you? Aren't you sleepy? Lumine: I'll head to bed in a bit. Just want to do some reading practice before anything.

Lumine stands up, grabbing some books from the shelves. With a stack of them in her arms, she makes her way to the bed, flipping through each of them vigorously.

Clues about her brother's whereabouts. Myths about that Unknown God. An unknown location. She'd accept anything at this point.

Book after book, page after page... the light in the room stayed on throughout the night. It was as if hours passed. And yet, nothing.

No mentions of a blond-haired Traveler in search of his sister. No Unknown Gods with flowing white hair that claimed to be the Sustainer of Heavenly Principles. It was all simply tales of Mondstadt, or fairy tales about some oddities.

Lumine's eyes began to droop... she was getting sleepier by the moment. Until finally, the weary girl dozed off.

The first night without her brother. How sad... how unfortunate.

As Lumine dozes off to sleep, she hears a voice resounding... and suddenly, her surroundings change, and she begins to dream.

Once upon a time, there was a one-eyed peacock...

"He came from a long line of creatures that lived in a forest made by their own kind. They despised the gods that lived up above them in the sky, and wished to rule themselves. For they were the superior. That was their belief."

"But the gods were angered by these creatures. How dare they overstep such boundaries set in place? How dare these creatures be greedy and take life into their own hands? In anger, the gods set the creature-made forest ablaze."

"It was Hell on earth. Many cried, many screamed. Beings of shadow emerged from the depths, consuming everyone in it's wake... it was a disaster. No... it was a Cataclysm."

"Despite it being 500 years ago, the one-eyed peacock shared his ancestor's legacy. For his bloodline had been cursed by the gods. What that curse was, he would never say. But all he knew was this: his father had sent him to hide in a beautiful kingdom of dandelions, in hopes that one day, it would perish."

"The peacock, in truth, held a dark secret. His beautiful feathers were nothing but shards of ice. In truth, his true body was afflicted, tainted by his ancestors. And he had to bear that curse for as long as he lived."

"The peacock made his way into the hearts of the Dandelion Kingdom, and soon, he was taken in by an owl and his owlet. The young peacock and owlet grew close, standing side by side, learning and growing together."

"For once, the peacock wondered, 'Is this okay?'. He asked himself, 'could I live like this? Could I spend my days in this Kingdom of Dandelions?' He was comfortable, he was happy... perhaps, he thought, this could be his new home. Perhaps his curse didn't need to be his truth."

"...but the Gods forbade it."

"These Gods weren't the same ones who cursed the peacock's bloodline, not the ones who lived in the clouds. No, they were the ones who determined everyone's fate. The Gods, in their anger, were unsatisfied with the peacock's conclusion."

"You are cursed forevermore. It is your destiny."

"To prove their point, the Gods sent down a 'curse' that tore apart the owl that took the peacock in. Ripping him apart, limb from limb, pucking his feathers until nothing was left, but a mere husk. By the time that the peacock and owlet arrived, it was too late... the owl was no longer himself."

"The owlet watched in horror, his father growing mad and losing himself. No matter what the owlet did, he could only do one last thing:"

"The peacock watched as the owlet cried, curling up against his father's corpse, his beak and talons stained with blood. It had to be him that ended his father's life."

"This was the Gods answer... the peacock understood. There was no father here, no family here. The only thing left was his curse."

"For the first time, the peacock shed his icy feathers, revealing to the blood-stained owlet the truth. In tears, the owlet grew furious--how could the peacock have lied to him? The peacock, this entire time... was he glad that his father died?"

"The owlet clawed at the peacock, and in return, the peacock fought back. It was no longer a friendly duel between brothers. It was a falling out. They fought, and fought, and fought. But what the owlet didn't see were the peacock's tears."

"Ever since that day, the peacock understood. He must never shed his feathers, for he must keep the truth hidden within. The Gods have willed it so. It is, after all, his destiny, to lie."

"He cannot live a happy life in the Dandelion Kingdom. He cannot trust anyone, not even himself."

"And so, the peacock accepted his destiny, doing as the Gods instructed, until his body froze him to the bone, and he took his final breath, cold. Alone. Just as he had been since the beginning."

Lumine immediately bolted up out of bed, her head pounding, ears ringing. What was that dream...? No, really, what WAS that dream?

She looked at Paimon, who was sleeping soundly next to her. A dream about a peacock, an owlet, a dead owl... it was all so vivid, so terrifying, so...

...sad.

Lumine sat up in bed, taking in everything. What sort of dream was that? It was bizarre.

As she felt around for the lamp, her hand rested on a small book. A book she most likely was about to read before falling asleep.

The girl looked outside. Still dark out. Not only that, but her head still ached from such an odd dream--or would it be more appropriate to call it a nightmare?

Either way, she resolved to read the book and find a glass of water. Perhaps that would make it easier on her.

Lumine carefully crept out of the room, ensuring Paimon was fast asleep, before wandering the HQ. It was eerily dead silent in the middle of the night.

She looked around for the kitchen, trying not to make a sound, until at last she found the tap. Setting her book aside and grabbing a glass, she poured herself a drink--

???: "Teyvatan History 101", eh? Lumine: AH!

Nearly spilling her water, Lumine panicked, turning around. Standing there, carrying a lamp, was none other than Kaeya Alberich, dressed down into something she could only assume was his nightwear.

Kaeya: Snooping around in the middle of the night, little miss? Lumine: You scared the heck out of me...! Jeez...! Kaeya: Haha, sorry. Couldn't help myself.

As Kaeya laughed, Lumine held her hand up to her forehead before drinking her glass. Her brows were furrowed, and she seemed to be shaking a bit. At that, Kaeya decided to inquire.

Kaeya: ...hey. Couldn't sleep?

Lumine turned, then looked up at Kaeya.

Kaeya: What? Friend can't ask a friend how she's doing? Lumine: ...we're friends? Kaeya: I'm hurt, Miss Honorary Knight... are you suggesting we aren't?

Lumine laughs at that, before leaning against the counter, sipping her water. Kaeya joins her, leaning against the counter as well. The two are side by side in the quiet of the night.

Lumine: I, uh... yeah. Had a nightmare. Kaeya: Oh? Do tell. Lumine: I just... don't know how to make heads or tails of it? Kaeya: Surprise me. Not only am I devilishly good-looking, but I'm also an expert at interpreting dreams. Lumine: Pfft, that's a lie. Kaeya: You won't know until you try.

The two laugh a bit, until the mood seems to shift in a more... somber way.

Lumine: I, um... I guess I should start by saying I typically don't have nightmares. Kaeya: No? Lumine: Yeah... Aether and I always made sure that we were both at least in the same vicinity when we fell asleep so, I... guess he was like my nightmare repellent. It's... been happening for the past few months. Kaeya: ... Kaeya: I see.

There's a silence in the air, only for Kaeya to try and continue the conversation.

Kaeya: So. You and your brother were close? Lumine: Yeah. Well, are... Lumine: ...hopefully that's the right tense. Kaeya: Hey. I'm sure he's out there. Just gotta look for him is all. I'm sure he's trying to find you too, right? Lumine, quietly: Yeah. I... I hope so too.

Lumine looks into the water in her glass, before she begins to talk about her dream.

Lumine: ...the dream I had this time though was different from most of the other nightmares I've had. Kaeya: Hm? Like what? Lumine: In the past, it was... always about Aether leaving me. Leaving me behind, not letting me follow him, and in the end, I'd end up all alone in a vast, empty void. Lumine: But this one was... about a one-eyed peacock.

When that was mentioned, Kaeya's eye widened.

Kaeya: ...one-eyed... peacock? Lumine: Mhm. Again, a really weird dream, but-- Kaeya: What happened to it? Lumine: Huh? Kaeya: ...t... the peacock, I mean. Did... something happen?

Kaeya hastily tried to correct himself. Lumine couldn't tell if it was the dim lighting or not, but his eye seemed to dart around, refusing to make eye contact with her. Despite this, she continued.

Lumine: Yeah, um... so, the peacock was cursed by the Gods. Something about his bloodline being cursed by defying the creatures that lived in the clouds? It's really confusing. Kaeya: And then? Lumine: Well...

Lumine recounted the story, trying to piece together what she could recall.

Lumine: ...he was accepted into the Dandelion Kingdom. Well, more like sent to infiltrate it by his father to see it's downfall or... something. And he was adopted by an owl and his son. Kaeya: ...

Kaeya grew unexpectedly quiet at this. It was almost uncharacteristic for him.

Lumine: ...Kaeya? Kaeya: Continue.

When he realized how off he sounded, he corrected himself.

Kaeya: Sorry, sorry. I, um... tired. Lumine: O-okay... Lumine: ...well, as time passed, the peacock came to love it in the Dandelion Kingdom, but he questioned if it was alright to stay there or if he had to do what he was "destined" to do. Then, when he hesitated, the Gods got angry. The owl that took care of the peacock went made and his owlet had to be the one to kill him. And the peacock... just watched. Like he was being told "you have to do what you were destined to do now, there is no second option".

Kaeya's hands were shaking, though Lumine couldn't notice it. As if he was reliving a bad memory. A bad dream.

Lumine: ...the peacock decided to try and tell the owlet. I guess he felt bad and at least wanted to put all cards on the table. Shed his feathers, showed the truth and... they fought. And the peacock just... lied for the rest of his life, not questioning his destiny. Kaeya: ...what... happened at the end of the dream? Was... that all?

Lumine grew quiet, before whispering. Ah, so this is why he reacted this way...

Lumine: ...the peacock froze to death.

Kaeya's face darkened. It was like he was hoping for a happier ending deep down, but he knew that it wouldn't end that way.

A few seconds pass, before Lumine draws a conclusion.

Lumine: I don't... want to make assumptions but, I'm guessing from your reaction that... Kaeya: ...that the peacock was me as a kid?

Lumine looked up at Kaeya, who avoided her eyes.

Kaeya: Yeah. From a kid to my teens. Lumine: Then... that owlet was-- Kaeya: The owl was a man named Crepus Ragvindr. And the owlet? His son... Diluc Ragvindr. Lumine: The one who appeared at the Temple of the Wolf? Kaeya: That's right. He and I were close once. But, like you said. I wavered. Instead of being next to him when he had to kill his dad, end Crepus' misery, I just. Watched. Accepted that this was my fate as a descendant of Khaenri'ah.

At that, Lumine became curious.

Lumine: ...Khaenri'ah? Kaeya: An ancient nation made by humans. All Teyvatan nations have been established and run by the Archons, except for Khaenri'ah. Celestia, the big guys up above, hated that. They... wiped out everything. Lumine: I... I-I'm sorry, I-- Kaeya: Don't be. It was centuries ago. Nothing to do with me. Kaeya: Or... well, you know.

Yet another silence between them, only for Kaeya to suddenly chuckle sadly.

Kaeya: Haaah, why... why am I telling you this? Makes no sense. Lumine: Hm? Kaeya: I mean... think about it. We just met today, and suddenly, I'm telling you a secret that I only told one other person, and said person now hates me. I... I must've gone mad.

Kaeya ran his fingers through his hair, continuing to smile sadly.

Kaeya: Ah... that's fine. Just one more person to despise m-- Lumine: I don't despise you.

Kaeya froze in his place. Did... his ears decieve him?

He turned to Lumine, in shock.

Kaeya: What... did you just... Lumine: Why would I hate you for the sins of your father?

The man continued to stare at Lumine, who seemed completely serious. She said it so... matter-of-factly. Was something wrong in her head?

Surely. Surely something was wrong with her. After all, he's a sleeper agent, meant to wait there and watch as Mondstandt burned. So why? Why was she...?

Lumine: If anything, I hate the Gods. Kaeya: ...the... the Gods? Lumine: Mhm. The ones that said that you have to follow your destiny. It's obvious you love Mondstandt, right?

"Obvious"? Please, what does this girl know? Only a day and she's making assumptions on his character.

How could he love Mondstadt when he was to be there someday and watch it all crumble? It was his destiny, his God-given destiny. Written in the stars, unchangeable.

Kaeya: I... hah. I live here, obviously, so-- Lumine: But you love it's people. Kaeya: ... Lumine: I don't know why I got that dream, or why it was so close to your truth. But... what I do know is that every time I saw that peacock, I didn't feel angry. I felt... sad. Lumine: His dad abandoned him to make him fulfill revenge for something that he wasn't involved in, he found a family that was immediately ripped away because he wasn't following his destiny, and he just decides that he has to lie all the time until the day he ends up dying. Lumine: That's such a lonely existence... I couldn't hate a poor creature like that. Lumine: I couldn't hate you like that.

She looks up at Kaeya innocently. Something within Kaeya stirs--it's like she's staring straight into his soul, dissecting everything about him. As she continues to speak, he can't deny her. Like she speaks the truth.

Lumine: If that dream is your reality, then I can't be mad at you. Instead, I'd just be sad. Sad that you wanted to try and be your own person but instead felt like you had to live up to what someone in your past did. That's all, really. Lumine: ...in a way, the Gods never really gave you a chance to grieve at all. Because 'destiny' was more important than you were to them. Lumine: At least, that's just what I'm th--

As Lumine looks up, a strange sight is before her. Kaeya is paralyzed, staring at the ground... and for a moment, she swears she could see something trailing down his cheeks.

A teardrop. A small, tiny teardrop.

Kaeya had lost everything. He didn't want to admit that, but he did. There was nothing for him.

His birth father left him to carry his ancestors' burden. His foster father died in front of his eyes. His best friend, brother, despised him. All the while, he lost the ability to feel like "himself".

He's a liar. A hollow, empty liar.

And instead of falling for his bluff, Lumine, this random stranger from who knows where, shattered that bluff on day one.

Impressive. Scarily impressive. To the point that Kaeya actually felt terrified.

Kaeya: ...hah. Wow. Are... a-are you a therapist? You really should try getting into that. You're, um. You're a very good listene--

Immediately, Lumine sets down her water and hugs Kaeya tightly. She's a lot shorter than him, so her head barely reaches up to his chest, but... for some reason, it's not cold. It's... warm.

Is this a hug?

What kind of hug is it?

A hug of passion and desire?

No. No, Kaeya can tell it isn't... it's too different from that.

A genuine hug from someone that's worried?

...there's no way it could be that, could it?

Lumine: ...you can grieve now. Kaeya: ... Lumine: ...it's long overdue by now, isn't it? I won't get mad at you, so... Lumine: ...I lost something too. We can both grieve together.

...this girl was something else. That much, Kaeya understood.

His hands twitched, not knowing what to do, only to loosely reciprocate the hug. Suddenly, his head moved lower, resting atop hers...

...and tears began to flow.

He choked it back as best he could--oh, how hard he tried. He clenched his teeth, his fists tightening, but he couldn't.

Was this his true feelings? He didn't know. He thought he repressed it a long, long time ago.

But for some reason, Lumine simply saying that she would grieve with him... felt comforting.

Kaeya: ...haha. F-fuck... this is... the worst first impression I've ever made on someone. Lumine, also tearing up: Don't worry. I won't tell. It'll be our little secret.

The two continue to hug, tears flowing. Yet, it felt... freeing. Rejuvenating.

As he wept, as his soul began to thaw, Kaeya asked one question to Lumine. As if seeking this answer his entire life.

Kaeya: Hey, kid? Lumine: Hm? Kaeya: If... if I said I don't want to see Mondstadt suffer... is that okay?

When she heard that question, Lumine squeezed him tighter, nodding.

Lumine: Yes. It has always been okay since the very start.

Someone had listened to him. Someone had listened to his truth... and, for once, someone told him... it was all okay.

Was that all he wished for? A gentle voice to tell him he could do as he wished, feel as he wished?

Was all he wanted an affirmation that... perhaps he could have happiness?

Maybe. Maybe that was all he wanted ever since he was abandoned those years ago. Ever since he was a kid.

And now, finally, someone found him trapped in the ice and helped him break free.

It was almost as if he was reborn anew...

As their tears dried, Kaeya and Lumine took the time to get some fresh air outside of the headquarters. They began to chat over mundane things to ease themselves of the pain. Perhaps it was the stars in the sky, or maybe about some passing cat. Whatever it was, they were at peace.

Then, Kaeya brought up a question.

Kaeya: So. You said you were grieving too. You... were talking about your brother, right? Lumine: Mn. I... don't feel the same without him, so. Kaeya: Right, right. Gotcha.

For a few seconds, there was yet another silence. But then, Kaeya began to speak once more.

Kaeya: ...Diluc was like my brother too. Lumine: Really? Kaeya: Yup. My best friend, my brother-in-arms... but I, um... Kaeya, looking down: I guess I just didn't get the chance to grieve that fact that we couldn't go back to that after he found out the truth. Lumine: ...hey, I'm sure that when the time comes, you could potentially go back to that. Right? Kaeya: ... Kaeya: Pfft. Optimistic, aren't you? Lumine: Haha, I try.

The two chuckle, before looking up at the stars in the night sky. The way they twinkle, the way the clouds roll through the dark indigo hue...

Kaeya: ...what if we try and fill the brother-shaped gap we both have? Lumine: Hm?

Lumine looks up, interested at Kaeya's query. Noticing her puzzled look, he laughs and reiterates.

Kaeya: I mean... you're missing a brother. I'm also just realizing I'm missing a brother. Why don't we both miss a brother together? A pair of siblings without their sibling.

The girl stares at him, then looks down, humming to herself with a smile on her face.

Lumine: So... it's like you'd be my brother and I'd be your sister? Kaeya: Well, if you'll have me. Just know though that, since you know the truth now, I'm not going to go easy on you. Lumine: Haha, wouldn't dream of it.

Right as she says that, she then gets another idea. Her voice has a hint of sincerity to it, a soft look in her eyes.

Lumine: And if you ever go back on your word about "wanting to keep Mondstadt safe", I'll be there personally to punch you back to reality.

Kaeya's stunned at this. To think, instead of being hated, instead, she says she'd be there personally to ensure it wouldn't happen... what an interesting girl.

His lips curl into a smile, and he holds out his hand in front of Lumine.

Kaeya: Sounds like a deal then, little miss Honorary Knight.

Lumine stares at the hand, then up at Kaeya, only to return the smile, firmly shaking his hand.

Lumine: It's my pleasure, Captain Eyepatch. Kaeya: Captain Eyepatch? Lumine: It's the ugly nickname Paimon gave you. Kaeya: Hm... Captain Eyepatch. Hey, maybe I should make that my new working title now that I have no cavalry to captain. Lumine: That... (laughs) that was terrible. Kaeya: You laughed. Lumine: I laughed because it was bad. Kaeya: Aww, come on. Admit it. Lumine: Hahaha!

Their laughter echoed throughout the night. The stars in the night sky shone brightly, the moon watching over the City of Mondstadt. That day, an unbreakable bond was forged.

...and that day, the wheels of fate began to turn.

Kaeya has now joined Lumine's team.

================

jesus christ holy shit holy fuck we're done so some lil notes here before we end it off. yes, this is how the fic is gonna look. im so sorry but also i like character dialogue so much. the way they interact helps them grow more naturally, and the way they talk gives you insight as to how theyre changing and how they act and just. AGH. love dialogue. hate descriptions. cant do that. yuck. also some non-story-relevant plot points (like the goddamn temples like srsly no one remembers those) will be skipped in the future, cuz fetch quests are both tedious to play and tedious to write. only major story events will be recorded. also no kaeya and lumine are not romantically attracted guys just cuz two people stand next to each other doesnt mean theyll kiss, they are like brother and sister. theyre besties. shush. lumines husband will show up to save his girlie in liyue okay this was genuinely a lot more fun than i thought it would be but also this was rlly fucking long im so fucking sorry anyway KLSDJHAFKLJHKL thats all i got for u

&lt;prev> <masterlist> <next>

[murderless-crows]

I've just read Laura Bailey's comments on the songs in Imogen's playlist and honestly? I'm even more hooked to this lavender haired witch if that's even possible.

Before she developed the tools to shut out the noise, she was flooded with the thoughts and desires of those around her. She understands the innate selfishness of humanity and had almost lost hope for everything before running into the beautiful soul that is Laudna.

Hearing the thoughts of Laudna’s acceptance of her – knowing her spoken words were true – Imogen began to see the good again.

It's clear that Imogen is sceptic about the good will of people, and we can see that this goes a long way back. I imagine that hearing every little thought in a small town would erode your faith in humanity quickly, even more if you started to hear everything in a delicate time (like your teens).

While I don't think she's evil and, in fact, I believe she leans towards good, she's not unfamiliar with the kind of despair that would make you burn the world to ashes and not look back.

The nightmares. They haunt her even when she’s awake – always making the moment of giving in to sleep one of anxiety.

Apart from being tired by the buzzing thoughts of everyone around her and the need to keep her mental walls up ALL DAY, Imogen has to deal with nightmares so bad that make her afraid of sleeping. Y'know, that thing that everyone needs to do AT NIGHT unless they want to be insomnia-drunk/exhausted/die.

Piling in with her (understandable) social anxiety, we have restless sleep and horrible, reoccurring nightmares. If you've ever slept bad for a few days, you know the kind of homicidal mood that you can have by the end of the week and that you'd do many things for some quiet. To top it off, she knows that they're going to be even more frequent, so the clock is ticking for her.

In short, let this poor girl sleep.

Between the fear of sleep and the constant buzz of everyone around her, she’s always a few steps away from losing herself. A thin mask of control is what keeps her together sometimes, and when she can feel the ties of that mask begin to slip, Imogen doesn’t know what to do.

We have canonical proof that our resident magical horse girl is this close (THIS CLOSE ><) of going apeshit! It's clear through the campaign that she's an anxious mess and I for one want to see her completely unhinged. Will she undergo a corruption arc?

But the recent realization that maybe this storm could lead to something else has her second guessing everything. Could there be strength in the storm?

Sometimes Imogen just wants to give in to it all. Let the rain fall, let the mental walls come down – what’s the worst that could happen? Maybe this storm will lead to a power she never knew was possible.

What's the worst that could happen? Oh, idk, maybe you going insane or cursing your soul for all eternity (we have proof that souls do exist in DND so I wouldn't fuck with that, but you do you) or destroying everything you hold dear. Small fry, yeah.

I have no doubt that the storm is strong. Thing is, is Imogen strong enough to not be swayed by possibly malevolent forces? Will she say 'fuck it, as long as I can take a nap afterwards, you can use me to burn the whole bitch down, idc'?

Or maybe if she lets go her tight reins of control, she’ll become a nightmare herself.

Yeah, Laura Bailey is not beating around the bush. This girl screams corruption arc and I'm here for it. Whether it's a complete arc or something that will be stopped before she goes too far, I don't care.

In short:

I think Imogen is two out-of-control incidents away from doing something regrettable. She's burning from both ends and hanging from a hair-thin thread. And it's been something a long time coming, tbh

I'd love to see her go feral for a few episodes and see the Hells Bells reaction to this (especially Fearne and Laudna, bc I'm sure that Fearne wouldn't care if Imogen goes dark and bc I'm NOT sure what Laudna's thoughts are on this).

[druid-for-hire]

new hadestown au: BIKER ! EURYDICE, in which she’s a rogue lone-wolf biker dwelling in the urban jungle of a Neo Tokyo-type city called Hadestown, wracked with biker gangs, violence, poverty, corruption, and civil unrest, still recovering and rebuilding from an apocalyptic event many years ago. Heavy-handed with the AKIRA inspirations here, haha.

She fights for herself on the dangerous streets, an illegal racer with a consistent top-three placement and a reputation for ferocity that earns her the money she needs to scrape by. And then she meets Orpheus: a dopey bartender who has no place being in her business.

okay okay okay i’m gonna be jumping around a lot here. be warned. thanks @supercantaloupe, @regzillas, @birdmanlyss for your contributions! (sorry if i missed someone it’s been a while)

she's a lone wolf in a city infested with biker gangs and it's brutal

she's run over plenty of limbs in her day

then there's orpheus, this gentle, kind-hearted soul, an indie musician and shes like. fuck. now i gotta keep this bastard safe

puts a long pipe with a mess of bolts and metal on the end in his hands and tells him he'd better buckle up and learn to fight the road

this sort of thing is common among biker gangs to cause destruction and knock people off their bikes onto the road. other types include mallets, hammers, baseball bats, etc

shes small but knows a lot of self defense and is very good at handling herself on the road

besides teaching orpheus to steel himself and yes use that pipe on people, push them off and jam it in their wheels and let it break if it does, she's gotta teach him to hold on while she pulls all this crazy shit on her bike

she avoids taking him on the road because having to fight people gives him so much stress but he also stresses about her so it's all weird

the first time orpheus sees her run over someones arm hes like ""???????????????????!!!!!!!!"

"Don't worry it doesn't happen often" "WHAT IS 'OFTEN'"

she has a red songbird on her helmet and flowers on her jacket

and flowers painted on her bike too probably

or patterns like on the album cover

orpheus thinks it’s the prettiest shit he’s ever seen

so eurydice races, right? everyones like “who is this tiny little upstart” and then she takes off her helmet and shakes out her hair and everyone loses it

somethingsomething ig hades (who is something of a crime boss here, similar to Tombstone from the Spectacular Spider-Man cartoon, but not so unambiguously villainous in nature) becomes a contractor and he catches her in like, a bad contract that's hard to get out of without some kind of consequence

and now orpheus has to topple a capitalist again

anyway she like, meets orpheus in this little bar he works at

it's about lower middle class, so it's not too bad but it's still mostly populated by like, poorer people and bikers, etc.

they meet and it's cool and fun blah blah Come Home With Me shit

also this is a scene:

biker!eury: we gotta cross through downtown orpheus: what???? but there's a riot going on there! right now! eury: that's too bad, it's the fastest way! that's why you get this! (tosses him her pipe weapon) orpheus, barely catching it: sajskhsfdfs ???? eury: and i am gonna take this. (kicks open a trunk and takes out a rifle) orpheus: ???????!!!!???!?? WHERE DID YOU GET THAT AND DO WE REALLY NEED IT eury: Yes we do now come on orpheus: H-HOW did you get it eury: (loads gun) no worries orpheus: No i have many worries HOW DID YOU--

actually, on this emergency ride, orpheus proves surprisingly competent with her pole weapon—ruthless even, and eurydice wonders just where and how the hell he learned that

the conversation she has with him about that is the same one where he shows her his old, old scars

(besides ruthless—orph has apparently learned how to pose and intimidate. he does stuff like putting the tip of the pole-pipe to the asphalt as they’re riding, skipping on the road and creating sparks)

eurydice loves her bike more than certain relatives 

certain complications lead to it being destroyed by hades as punishment for doing him wrong. and it destroys her. that is her most trusted sacred bike, that thing has been with her since she was a teenager

once she repurposes that devastation into white-hot anger orph has to physically restrain her from hunting hades down and breaking his kneecaps with a thick lead pipe

he's never seen her this absolutely devastated and furious

he goes to persephone for more work because he wants to buy eurydice a new bike

he keeps it a secret from her until he leads her out to a garage, hands over her eyes

(some of these bits are copypasted from my friend @regzillas​)

orpheus takes his hands off and says Tada!!! it's just like the old one, there's no painted birds but she can do that. She just stands there in total silence mouth open, and orpheus goes 'so? do you like it?' before she bursts into tears. and at first orpheus is like :O!!!!! oh no!!! do you not like it? and eurydice through sobs just says 'nobody's ever done something like this for me’

it's... beautiful, it's touching, it's deep and it's love and she's so in love and she loves him so much, and she cries and holds him close and takes him in and she's so overwhelmed by her emotions, full of the care that orpheus so freely gives to her; and it's a breath of newness, fresh air in the cycle of dread and bitter anger that haunts the city (but she's still going to find hades and shoot him in the foot)

he just holds her and kisses her head

they spend the day painting it, the day after he buys the bike

hand-painted. and they both leave their handprints in paint on it, like carl and ellie do on their mailbox in the beginning of Up

a significant amount of time is spent thinking of a good name

theres lots of joking and eurydice playfully shoves orpheus and he falls over into paint

okay i wrote something like. Obnoxiously long for orpheus. i sort of have his backstory in this down, but i don’t have anything for eurydice unfortunately :( suggestions are welcome! but first: Hermes

biker!au hermes owns a chain of bars, several of which find their patronage among the ruffian youth, several of which are more refined and serve the middle class, and another several of which serve the upper crust hermes has a hand in every world and it serves him pretty well, and his chain is a bit of a channel of communication and its unspoken rule that whatever socioeconomic class or gang or organization you're a part of, hermes' chain is neutral territory no fighting allowed

eurydice walks in and hermes just gives her a Look and taps the 'no fighting' sign and she huffs

hes >:( if anyone does try to start shit. the honor system is strong enough that usually the other patrons will just throw them out, and if there are really problems, they'll hear from hermes personally

he maintains a very strict "no bitching in my fucking kitchen" atmosphere

and now, Orpheus

this really is kind of akira but without the government conspiracies; the city is a neon corrupt hellscape that’s still struggling to rebuild after an apocalyptic event that wiped it all through. the city is wracked with frustration and violence and anger, there are still urban ruins everywhere and the scars of rebuilding and struggle are plain in every corner of life; plain to see are the shells of ruined buildings, gigantic boats levelled from the sea and left in the middle of inland sectors.

orpheus was abandoned by his mother at an early age—kind and timid, he had to learn fast how to be suspicious and cautious in cruel ways. he couldn’t land himself a spot in any of the groups that other ragtag raging folks had eked out for themselves, still too hesitant or ungraceful or young for any of them. sure, he made friends, sitting and talking with lots of people, but never got to really team up—all he could do was just fight for himself in the blown out corners of the city. weapons made from whatever he had. a young child already spitting blood and teeth in hadestown’s vicious ground-floor landscape.

hermes is his mother’s close old friend, though the times they see each other are few and far between. when he saw him, hermes hardly recognized her son, wild-eyed and clawed and alone in one of the city’s more dangerous neighborhoods, with a pole full of screws slung over his back. how did she lose track of her kid for so long? he thinks. and takes him in.

hermes eventually realizes that his mother didn’t lose him. meanwhile, tiny orpheus, kind-hearted orpheus, despises hermes at first. he’s full of suspicion and desperately wants to lean into hermes’ kindness, but the streets have taught him to hold back. he spits curses at him, though the words slide right off hermes’ shoulders. it’s not genuine.  just frustrated. and picked off of the delinquents that were his friends, just like most everything else about him.

(hermes knows he’s gotten his trust when orpheus starts getting soft, when he’s crying over littler things; it means he’s been deemed safe to be vulnerable around, and he damn near starts crying himself.)

orpheus owns a little vespa! it’s covered in stickers, some of them worn out and old, some places with just the adhesive and the fuzzy white paper from where he tried to pull them off. some of them aren’t even proper stickers and just shit he peeled off from places while he was wandering around and stuck onto the vespa

even in canon i see him as the kind of guy who like. you look at him and think jesus how is this guy still alive he’s so noodly and soft, but he’s unexpectedly sort of street smart

anyway i mentioned this before but didn’t elaborate. biker au orph, to eury's surprise, does have his collection of scars, since he had a bit of a rough go at life

also he’s just ungainly and runs into shit

you can see em on his sketch page. he has a bit more than what’s shown, but what’s visible is a little slash across the bridge of his nose onto his cheek, and two on his left forearm. he probably has a stab scar in his side from just getting fucking knifed. the ones on his left forearm are from when a drunk coming out of a bar charged him with a fork

eurydice also has scars. kind of hard not to with the kind of life she lives

ok thats it. For Now. i don’t know how persephone or the fates or the workers factor in, if at all. I barely know how Hades factors in, mostly what i’ve said so far and that he does what he does to support himself and persephone. ah well! just have this

as this is extremely based off of AKIRA, i verily recommend listening to the movie’s soundtrack. besides the fact that it slaps hard as hell, the opening song, Kaneda’s Theme, has the perfect vibes for the city and the tone of eurydice and orpheus riding at night through it

[carnistcervine]

Water-Fire Reversal AU

...But then, everything changed when the Water Tribes attacked.

Here's the proper headcanons/outline/AU thing for my own interpretation of Water-Fire reversal AU.

Based on my post here.

-The Water Tribes becomes the perpetrators of the 100 years war, and the Fire Nation becomes the one stripped away and decimated.

-God forgot to nerf the Southern Water Tribe and they joined forces with the North during Kyoshi's time.

-Kyoshi is too busy chillin on her island to bother with them, so they become dangerously powerful by the time Roku rolls around.

-The Fire Nation still goes through with it's industrialization, because, come on it's a volcanic island chain. There's lots and lots of heat, and fossil fuels, and metal ore. They wouldn't not have an industrial revolution.

-The only difference here is that Sozin actually heeds Roku's advice and decides to listen to the Avatar. He accepts that the world needs to remain four nations, and decides to help him uphold the balance.

-Their friendship grows strong once again.

-So when colonies appear in the Earth Kingdom, it's the South colonizing Kyoshi island.

-Roku is like, OH HELL NO- D:<

-He goes to confront the Southern Chief, and she's all, bitch I do what I want.

-But Roku has had time to calm his tits on the ride over so, he tries to be rational and restrained about it.

-So he be like, "Leave Kyoshi alone, or I will string you up by your nipples"(or something like that. :'D)

-Also, uh, Kyoshi may or may not be part of why Roku is so mad. I mean he is her direct successor.

-The uh, the Water Tribes didn't like that.

-At all, lmao.

-They get into a fight, he kills the chief, which only further serves to turn the Water Tribes against him. And makes their chief a martyr. Strengthening her cause.

-However, at the time they see Roku as acting as Avatar, so they leave the Fire Nation be. Their beef is with him.

-The Avatar is at war with the Water Tribes for several years, resulting is heavy destruction for both tribes, and leaving Roku exhausted.

-Rather than see their Tribes destroyed, they decide to temporarily back off, lick their wounds, recuperate, and make a plan to strike back against Roku.

-Tired, Roku retires to his volcano home and settles down with his family.

-Now, volcanoes do not erupt with no warning whatsoever. Roku and the inhabitants of his island simply misjudged when it would blow it's top.

-However, it did not escape the Water Tribe's notice that the volcano was growing increasingly unstable.

-They primed themselves to strike as it grew increasingly violent.

-When the volcano blew it's top Roku was dealing with both an angry volcano, and angry waterbenders using their combined power to summon tsunamis.

-Roku had to stop the volcano and protect the people trying to flee at the same time.

-He put more into protecting the people, as they had nothing to do with it and didn't deserve to be dragged into his conflict.

-Sozin, seeing Roku's island blowing it's top, came in on his dragon and offered his help.

-Sozin works to get the people to safety while Roku battles the volcano and waterbenders.

-Roku is overwhelmed and both he and his dragon are slain in battle.

-Sozin sees the attack as a declaration of War.

-The Air Nomads are not wiped out.

-Not because the Water Tribes are nice or anything. No, in this AU, they are just as bad as canon Fire Nation.

-The Air Nomads are still around because there is no water equivalent to Sozin's comet. And where the Air Nomads live, ridiculously high above sea-level, protects them from the Water Tribes.

-Sozin begs the Air Nomads for help, but they refuse to partake in the war. Even to the point of hiding Aang from the world.

-In this AU, the Air Nomads serve a role similar to the canon North and Ba Sing Se. Where they put up their defenses and sit idly by as the rest of the world drowns.

-The Water Tribes decimate and wash away many coastal communities, only sparing the ones that bow down to them and allow themselves to be colonized.

-Ba Sing Se and Omashu are safe, because they are far away from major sources of water. Ba Sing Se is mostly surrounded by desert and the only water way is protected by sea serpents(plural).

-And also that goddamn wall.

-Kyoshi Island had the Unagi, but... it was killed. :'D

-The South had a feast that night. lmao

-Sozin plans on putting an end to the war using Sozin's Comet(called Agni's Comet or the Great Comet).

-But uh, there's an eclipse.

-It becomes known as the Darkest Day in Fire Nation history.

-The Fire Nation royal family make it out okay, but to say the country as a whole was decimated is an understatement.

-This becomes the catalyst to the war, with the Earth Kingdom being moved to join forces with the Fire Nation to fight back against the Water Tribes.

-The Earth Kingdoms and Fire Nation have some leverage with their metal ships, but the Water Tribes have the advantage of literally being able to use the battle field as a weapon.

-Learning from the Darkest Day, the Fire Nation(with the help of the Earth Kingdom) builds a wall around it's inner cities.

-They make a recovery, but the outermost communities(ie. the fishing villages) are pillaged and ravaged constantly by the Water Tribes.

-Of course, there was a short occupation of the Fire Nation by the Water Tribes as a result of the Darkest Day, but well, let's just say Agni's Comet fixed that. :^D

-As for Aang, he still goes out and explores the world, but only under the strict guidance of the other monks.

-They are careful to hide the war from him, and him from the war.

-However they cannot hide him from his destiny forever, and as the monks grow increasingly worried over the world's state of affairs, they decide to hide him away completely.

-Very, intimately aware of the fact that Water is next in the cycle, and they likely won't hesitate to kill the poor child to get their own Avatar to corrupt to their terrible ways.

-Aang doesn't take very well to be smothered and runs away.

-Unfortunately he ends up in the middle of a battlefield with fireballs, waves and ice going every which way.

-The stress of nearly being killed triggers the Avatar state and he freezes the battle with himself in stasis in the center.

-The other soldiers either escape or die in the icy tomb. :)

-Without Sozin and Azulon perpetuating a cycle of abuse, Ozai, Zuko, and Azula all turn out as much better people.

-On the other side, the familial bonds of the water tribe take a much darker tone. Anyone not within the tribe/the family doesn't matter. The Tribe is all that matters, all others are the enemy. They become colder, much more insular. While they care for one another, they become rigid as ice, family and tradition being valued above all else.

-Also, waterbending lost touch with it's roots, becoming dark and perverted. A way to sway others to your own way, rather than flowing with the natural push and pull of the world, it became the water tribe pushing against all and pulling in what they please.

-This is borrowing from another AU of mine(*eyebrow dance*), healing is perverted into a technique that brainwashes people. Think of Katara healing Jet's mind from the brainwashing, but in reverse. :^)

-Kanna and Pakku are betrothed, while Pakku is willing to let things like only teaching women to heal, and arranged marriages slide, finds actual, genuine brainwashing to be genuinely disturbing. But tries his best to ignore it. It's just how things are, he tells himself.

-When Hama developed her bloodbending technique and shows it off to the North.

-She proposes it as a way to get the filthy ashmakers and dirtstompers to submit to the mind melting.

-When they try to get Pakku to learn/teach his students bloodbending, he breaks. He can't take it anymore and deserts.

-He becomes the first to desert the Water Tribe navy.

-Kanna feeling the bite of shame, agrees to marry someone from the South instead.

-But also, daytime bloodbender Yue.

-When Katara turns fourteen, she is deemed a master waterbender and given the rights to begin higher level training and learn the secrets of the Water Tribes.

-She learns of bloodbending, and mind manipulation.

-Having fully bought into Water Tribe propaganda her whole life, she cannot believe this. Horrified, she speaks out directly calling Hama disgusting and wicked for inventing such a technique.

-She rightfully calls out her tribes elders for using these techniques on innocent people.

-Oh, boi, but calling out the elders amounts to treason.

-Because she called out her elders, she had dishonored her ancestors and as such had to best Hama in one-on-one combat to avoid being exiled.

-And uhhh, she lost her fuckin eye instead.

-Disillusioned from loosing his father to the war, Sokka joins Katara in her exile.

-Seeing as Kya is the chief of the South, she gives an in for Katara to return back to the tribe's good graces. A way to prove herself. She must find the Avatar and bring him to the Water Tribes.

-Sokka having grown disillusioned, sees it as a way for him and his sister to finally get away from the darkness infesting their home.

-They spend two years at sea looking for the legendary Avatar who vanished for 100 years.

-Also Katara wears an eyepatch and 100% looks like a motherfucking pirate.

-And Zuko, sixteen year old, grumpy but well meaning and kind-hearted Zuko, fears deeply for his people.

-Unfortunately, he feels like his nation isn't doing nearly enough to protect the people living outside the walls.

-Ozai warns young Zuko multiple times that his is not permitted outside the walls. "That place is no place for royalty." He would say.

-"Come back to your gilded cage" He would mean.

-It's only inevitable that Zuko sneaks out and invents the person of the Blue Spirit to help the poor folk living outside the walls.

-His uncle catches him, but doesn't tell. Instead he watches over him, he knows that he can't stop Zuko from trying to save his own people.

-Unfortunately things go tits up when there is an attack in the middle of Zuko helping the people.

-Zuko is captured, and taken away, but Iroh manages to sneak on as well.

-Together they escape, but by that point that are far, far away from the Fire Nation.

-While slowly rowing their little dingy back, they come across a certain frozen battlefield sitting in the middle of the ocean...

-And as fate would have it, a certain, hot-headed, one-eyed waterbender and her "slacker" brother happen to be sailing nearby when Aang is freed.

-Aang has no idea that he's the Avatar, but he also doesn't feel like going back home. He wants to know why the people are fighting.

-He wants to understand why they hate each other so much. :(

-Iroh picks up that Aang is the Avatar right away though.

-He subtly tries to pry Aang about how much he knows of this or his destiny.

-And Aang knows nothing, the monks never got the chance to tell him because he ran away.

-Iroh thinks of a way to gently break the news to Aang, and tactfully handle his need to be trained so he can put an end to this war once and for all.

-Hopefully before Agni's Comet, because Iroh knows that even though his brother isn't a wicked man, he will do what is necessary to put an end to this.

-You see, the Fire Nation has begun to withdraw, it's mostly biding it's time for the Comet's return so that they can put an end to this struggle once and for all.

-Ozai doesn't want to destroy the Water Tribes, but watching his father drown, his nephew slaughtered, and his own brother crippled and forced into retirement has brought him to some very dark conclusions.

-Iroh advocates strongly against using the comet for war, but Ozai has made it clear if the war does not end before the comet appears... He will do what he deems to be necessary.

-That being said, finding out that his son and brother had been taken by the Water Tribes throws him into a rage.

-And yeah, loosing Lu Ten and Azulon, broke Iroh. Along with being physically injured himself. So he gave up the throne to Ozai, feeling that there was nothing he could do for his country.

-With the Avatar, now found, Iroh decides to indulge his nephew's desire to travel and help in the war effort.

-Because, well, Iroh is terrified that Ozai will use Aang to take down the Water Tribe violently.

-An unfortunate consequence of this is that for a while, Ozai thinks that Zuko and Iroh are dead!

-And Ozai is the opposite of able to cope with this. lmao

-I haven't decided when Aang should realize that he's the Avatar, but it's def gonna be due to him loosing control and lashing out in the avatar state.

-Iroh ends up being the one to calm Aang down when he goes Avatar-Rage-Mode.

-Because Iroh is big soft man, and basically Aang and Zuko's dad.

-It's too soft to for me to resist okay?? :D

-I'm also not entirely sure when to place this on the timeline, but I am highly considering having Ozai find out that Zuko and Iroh are alive at the end of Book 1, so that it can mirror canon a bit. Because as soon as he finds out they're alive he sends his stronk ass, prodigy daughter Azula to go fetch the two and bring them back home safely.

-But also go get the Avatar, so he can be properly trained in firebending.

-Yes, Azula is good in this fic. But she's still not nice. She's very pragmatic and stoic. She does genuinely care about her brother and Uncle, but she considers the safety of the world and the Fire Nation to be more important than their feelings.

-She's cold and detached, but would do anything to protect the Fire Nation, her family or help the world as a whole.

-Azula is also occasionally playful, teasing Zuko and calling him Zuzu or dum-dum.

-Once she's pulled into the story, she kinda serves as a rival to Zuko. Constantly trying to drag the Gaang home to the Fire Nation, so the Avatar can be taught by proper instructors.

-And Ozai is not a bad dude, but he's STRESSED. And seen some very unfortunate things. Let's just say, the war is not putting him a great headspace.

-Like he isn't abusive like Canon!Ozai, but his desperation to save his country and put an end to the war is driving him to do some questionable things. Like considering using Agni's Comet.

-The people of the Foggy Swamp are still good and left in tune with the true nature of water. So when time comes around to Katara to have her heel-face turn, ya already know who she gon go to.

-Also, they sups spiritual, so yeh.

-I am also considering having the Foggy Swamp be the final point of Katara's redemption arc, like her final realization of what he destiny really entails and what she must do.

-But I do want the first step to be Sokka getting injured while protecting her.

-Like she can't believe this, she's about to loose the last piece of her family, and in a desperate move, she rediscovers the lost art of true healing. Saving Sokka's life.

-I’m also considering having Katara join the Gaang at the end of book two.

...

-Sparkle Sparkle Moon Girl.

[visceralcoma]

aveline for the meme please! :D

How I feel about this character

Aveline is that friend you have that ends up doing the job that needs to be done - not because they’re the best person to do it but because they’re the only one willing to do it because it has to get done. I respect her for that. Because you can whine and bitch about something all day long, but if you’ve got nothing actionable - then you’re just flapping your mouth.  Aveline has always struck me as someone who would say “Either shit or get off the pot.”

All the people I ship romantically with this character

To be honest, Aveline is one of a few characters who I like the canon ship (others being sera/dagna and cassandra/regalyan). So I don’t really ship her with anyone else. Donnic is really the only one I can ship her with. Now I do wish she had been romanceable but I am kinda glad she wasn’t.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

If I could get Blackwall and Aveline to hang out, I think the two would get along really well.

My unpopular opinion about this character

Aveline has always been the corrupt guard.  People forget that Aveline became a guard while still under indentured servitude to either Meeran or Athenril - so it’s highly likely she was a plant. Someone on the inside to keep watch and provide intel on guard rotations (Sorta how the Coterie had Jeven). She’s not a clean guard, she never was from the get go. And her ensuring Carver doesn’t get a position in the guard was probably her securing her own position or even making sure Carver doesn’t become as corrupt as she has - even if there are worst corrupt guards (Jeven).

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I wish how far Aveline goes depended on how much Hawke’s personality was blue or red. Like if Hawke was more Blue/Diplomatic, Aveline was able to forgive more and move until she was full on Jeven levels of corrupt.  Versus if Hawke was a straight up asshole Red/Aggressive, she would not budge on many things and would have maliciously complied a lot of things.

[gunnerpalace]

How do you think how Ori would do as a villain?

In my view, Orihime’s pathway to villainy would be using her powers to reject all the events that get in the way of her getting what she wants (which is to say, mostly Ichigo). In other words, going Full Spooky Galadriel and deciding, “In place of a Dark Lord, you would have a queen! […] All shall love me and despair!”

Now, she could settle for the present where Ichigo already knows Rukia, and Aizen and Yhwach are off the board, but we already know what that yields because of 686: a universe where Ichigo is at his absolute happiest when he just sees Rukia again and argues with her, rather than when he marries Orihime or she gives birth to their son, or whatever typical things might be cited as the happiest moments of one’s life. And, honestly? From Orihime’s perspective? That must really fucking suck.

So, if Orihime is going Full Spooky Galadriel (Orihime Untethered), why would she settle? Surely she can do better than that. And the simplest way to do better would be deleting Yhwach and Aizen at the right times in history. 

The right time for the former would be during the late 1980s or early 1990s, and would keep Masaki alive and fundamentally alter Ichigo as a character (probably significantly dulling his focus on protection and removing his disaffection), and removes future problems associated with the Quincy coming back.

Doing the latter could only be done in the latter-half of the 1980s, after Ichigo had been conceived, but before Aizen set any of his other plans in motion. So the Visored and Urahara Shop would still be around, and Kaien and Miyako would still be dead. Regardless, doing this would keep him from doing what he did with Rukia.

Trouble is, the Hougyoku is already in Rukia’s soul by that time. And it seems highly likely that Aizen did not “send” Rukia to Ichigo, but rather that the Hougyoku bent Aizen’s machinations so that it happened. (Why would Aizen be immune to the Hougyoku’s effects?) In other words, the Hougyoku being stuffed in Rukia’s soul makes it seem likely that Rukia would still encounter Ichigo eventually, regardless of how normal and happy his life was, because their encounter is essentially fated. (Kaien more than likely reminds Rukia of Ichigo, in a non-linear framework, rather than Ichigo reminded Rukia of Kaien.)

So the trouble for Orihime Untethered is that she has to:

Delete two of the most powerful dudes in the series (admittedly not at their strongest) to get a lock on the guy she wants (i.e., by removing “incentives” for him to not want to be human, and to remove her main competition) when her powers don’t work on any sufficiently powerful reiatsu.

Her main competition still having a reality-altering device shoved into her soul which may or may not be beyond Orihime’s powers to mess with even if she could kill a merely Shinigami Aizen and a comatose Yhwach. (As it was never made clear whether she actually could destroy the incomplete Hougyoku with her powers, and it sure seems like Aizen is impossible to destroy with one in him in the present.)

So the question here is: where does Orihime Untethered get the kind of monstrous power that would be necessary for such feats? And the only place she could reasonably get it from would probably be if Uryuu decided to somehow lend her the power by going beast mode in a reishi rich environment. 

Whether Uryuu is stupid enough to do that for her without knowing what she really intends, for the sake of making her happy even if he’s not in the picture at all, is an open question. (Perhaps yes, because Uryuu can be dumb like that.)

So, Aizen and Yhwach get deleted and the Hougyoku is plucked out of Rukia. (I feel it’d be going a bit far for even Orihime Untethered to delete Rukia, and I really don’t think Uryuu would agree to that.) This of course means it is never around to be in proximity to Orihime herself and Chad, so she is also retroactively keeping herself from getting powers in the first place.

Oh, that’s a problem. It’s a one-way ticket. This isn’t Donnie Darko or The Butterfly Effect: if your powers get deleted from the timestream you can’t get them back and you’re stuck. Ooh. So maybe don’t delete the Hougyoku from Rukia, even if you can. But doesn’t that then mean you’re relying on encountering her…?

Masaki would probably teach Ichigo about Quincy powers once he was of age, so he’d probably have noticed and gravitated toward Uryuu in school?

But the thing is, even if Masaki (and Kanae) didn’t die, Souken still did. So Uryuu would still become bitter toward Shinigami. Maybe he would turn Ichigo onto that way of thinking too? So they probably still become embroiled with Soul Society.

Okay, so Orihime has to have deleted Mayuri too now, to keep Souken alive and keep Uryuu and Ichigo from fighting against Shinigami. Uryuu in the present giving her the power to change shit carte blanche would probably be cool with that.

So, Souken is alive too. His big thing was cooperation with Shinigami. Working with them to eliminate Hollows in a non-destructive way while protecting humans. His proposal seemed to have been working at least a little.

What’s to say that Rukia isn’t sent as Soul Society’s representative as part of that program? Or one of the people sent? Or that she isn’t sent to walk the beat in Karakura anyway, since it seems to be the 13th Division’s responsibility? Especially so if she still has the Hougyoku in her, warping events around to take her to Ichigo?

So, there’s Quincy Uryuu and Quincy Ichigo (with latent Shinigami and Hollow powers…) working with Shinigami, including maybe Rukia. If Rukia didn’t have the Hougyoku, and turned up like this, Orihime would have no ability to get her powers back and keep up. If you can’t get powers then can’t keep up if Ichigo and Uryuu start getting adventurous in this new, happier Bleach with more functional familial and friendly relationships. So she needs the Hougyoku to still be in Rukia no matter what.

She can’t remove the Hougyoku from Rukia, let alone delete her even if she wanted to, and her having the Hougyoku means she is almost assuredly going to show up. (Plus, even if you could delete her, karma is a bitch. Who’s to say she wouldn’t reincarnate even if you did delete her? Especially if you do it too early? She might just Senna her way back. Hell, even if it works, maybe Senna herself shows up to take her place! Especially since a lot of the filler is now being treated as semi-canonical.)

So, we go around in circles with the real problems.

The first real problem for Orihime Untethered is ultimately that Rukia is absolutely necessary to her own ability to have a role in Ichigo’s supernatural nonsense. Meanwhile, she can’t really strip Ichigo of powers because they’re fundamental to who he is. So there is no way to really undo things when it comes to either of them directly, just the things around them. Ichigo and Rukia are effectively “status locked” in a fashion similar to Doctor Who’s “time locked” concept.

The second real problem is that even without Aizen and Mayuri, Soul Society is still its corrupt self and likely to draw the Kurosaki and Ishida into its shenanigans. And even if Yhwach is eliminated, Wandenreich is also still out there. As are all the Espada. So some version of supernatural nonsense is basically guaranteed to happen, no matter how many other pieces you knock down.

At the end of the day, Ichigo and Rukia are going to meet. They are going to have adventures. They are going to develop a rapport. And her only real solution is going to be social engineering, not her powers. And the truth is, Orihime isn’t really that great at the Mean Girls game, and I doubt Orihime Untethered is either.

I see her trying to force, as much as possible, the series into being a slice-of-life school comedy series, and it kind of playing out like Groundhog Day as she selectively undoes things and redoes scenarios, and it just never works out. And that leads back to the fundamental issue she’s encountering: she is trying to fuck with something that is more or less written into the fundamental laws of the universe itself.

Even if she gets Ichigo, it’s always going to be some form of settling for less. She is always going to be the second-place prize. And she is also likely to be only a temporary one, because if souls are kicking around at a rate of aging ~30 years per 2000 years that pass, an awful lot can change. And that’s before taking into account the confirmed mechanic of reincarnation.

(And this is, ultimately, why 686 is stupid in addition to being a non sequitur: okay, IH and RR had kids. So fucking what? Divorces happen. People can change, grow apart, and move on. As I said once before, what is “five lifetimes” in comparison to like, 5000 years? Or an infinite cycle of maximally 5000 year reincarnations? Barring their souls being killed somehow, Ichigo and Rukia are going to be around for longer into the future than we are now from when the Pyramids were built. You think some possibly expedient marriages are going to keep them apart all that time? Or into their next lives? Yeah, no. That’s the thing: their story isn’t over even if Bleach is. That’s yet another reason that ending is so shit beyond its character assassination and ass-pull pairings: literally anything could happen beyond it. It is not definitive because these are not normal-ass normal people.)

So what does she do, trapped in this hell of her own creation? As I see it, she has three options:

She goes completely crazy and decides to delete existence itself or massively restructure it a la Yhwach. I also really don’t think Uryuu would agree to that and I can see it ending rather tragically.

She decides to just accept being second-best with a smile until it eventually burns her out, at which point she probably tries to find someone who actually appreciates her. (One guess as to who that is.)

She skips being miserable and instead grows up and realizes that Ichigo is never going to be as happy with her as he is with Rukia, and that she needs to find that person immediately rather than wasting everyone’s time, including her own.

So we’ll call (1) the really angsty ending, discard (2) because it’s just a drawn out and angsty version of (3) which admittedly a lot of real people fall into, and we’ll call (3) the happy ending because hey, at least Orihime’s selfish efforts to rewrite the timeline would have improved the pile of shit that is life in Bleach by restoring some sense of family bonds and healthy relationships.

[drivingsideways]

thoughts on episode 28-29, spoilers under the cut

well, after a long time, I got two episodes in a row that I actually enjoyed quite a lot! Mostly because the drama spent the time on inner palace drama and not so much on court politics, though of course, plot wise, they were inter-related! 

In random order of things:

- The “subplot” of Xia Song and Jia got some unexpected screen time. I always liked these two schemy, corrupt characters and their relationship, and this episode we get the other side of Jia’s “I tried to commit suicide when he married that woman” line; turns out our crafty, moderately competent, not very good looking Comissioner Xia is also deeply in love with her??? He wrote the loveliest song for/about her!! (A song she sings in one of the early episodes, about lovers parting!) And he loves her for who she is, including that she sent her niece to his household, in a petty act of spite/ revenge, which was apparently the last straw for his wife? Like the unexpected bitter-sweetness of their relationship really came for my heart!!! I half wished Jia had left the palace when the Emperor told her that he would grant the separation, but not allow Xia Song to marry again and that he’d be sent away. On the other hand, given who she is, why would she? She’s ruthlessly pragmatic and probably realizes that Xia Song’s love for her might not outlast the ignominy of exile and poverty! But I think the decision does hurt , and I doubt we’ve seen the last of this couple! I’m kind of secretly rooting for them in my heart!! I want them to survive this clusterfuck of a world that is palace politics!!!

- Unexpected fallout of domestic drama is- more domestic drama, but within the palace walls! How much did I love that He’er goes to war against Zhang Bihan??? Like, bitch you thought????? I also loved the scenes later with He’er and Danshu- where He’er admits that (a) her daughter is more important to her than the emperor and (b) that in fact, she feels closer to Danshu than the Empress.  I feel deeply sorry for He’er, though He’er herself doesn’t seem to feel unhappy except for Bihan’s drama? Like she was barely 15 when she made that decision to enter the palace- and despite the Empress Dowager warning her, the Empress Dowager didn’t really attempt to  dissuade her either, I think. But these many years later, you can’t help wish she’d not made that decision; she was clearly someone who’d have been happier in a more normal domestic arrangement. That said, He’er showing some fire in these two episodes was a welcome change, especially when you also see how her attitude toward the Emperor has also undergone a slight change.

- Speaking of people whose feelings about the Emperor are changing- surprise, Zhang Bihan is beginning have mixed feelings about him too- he’s no longer the “ideal man” in her life, whom she must possess- instead, his whims and fancies are even more real as a threat to her and her child now. Bihan beginning to  listen to Jia and play the smart game is also a good change, though I do feel her character has been irreparably damaged by the careless writing from the start. 

- And speaking of people whose feelings about the Emperor AREN’T changing- oh, Danshu. On the one hand, I feel like this stasis is bad writing? Because I’m frankly *tired * of women pining after asshole men until one day, miraculously, their quiet devotion gets “rewarded” when the asshole “realizes” their worth. Fuck that noise. 

On the other hand, I do feel that deep loyalty and stubborn holding on to an ideal despite the hurt it causes her, is also very Danshu? Like you see that in the way she went ahead with the marriage to the Daoist dude; and re: Zhao Zhen, she fell in love with the idea of him much before she fell in love with him, and the two aren’t really separable now. And the more he fails to live up to that ideal, the less she’s able to admit it to herself, because to do that would be to destroy everything she’s given her entire life to, and the last years since her marriage(7?10? I’ve lost track) in particular.  It would be admitting that the hurt goes deeper than just being in love unrequited; it would mean admitting that the man in her idealistic heart does not exist. Hence- the always finding excuses for him, even for his grossest excesses, and I’m not even talking about the personal hurts. Yes, he sent ten thousand men to their death , but he just made a mistake, and he’s so deeply sorry, and even when he exhibits some self-awareness of that (when he admits that the decision was driven in part by his desire to be remembered as great), even when he does that, she’s more inclined to forgive him than not. She cannot, like the audience, take a dispassionate look at him and say “Alright he’s a fairly decent ruler, but he’s an absolute disaster of a human being!!”  Like that’s probably the cultural/philosophical ethos of the time too working on her, because the Emperor was the nation, and the nation was everything? At least for someone from her particular family and social class, and her own ambitions to serve that ideal. 

It makes me wonder if there’s ever going to be a point of no return for her? What would it take to crush that idea of him in her head completely? What would he have to do? We already know it’s nothing against her personally that would do the trick- she’s swallowed his insults and neglect for years and years. If the break comes, I suspect it has to be something where he acts in an unjustifiable  way to someone else- perhaps Huaiji or Huirou or (hehehe) Maoze- something that irreparably damages his image in her eyes as a kind and good and benevolent ruler. But I don’t know if it will ever happen in the drama. Historically speaking, they never separated. Which is fine, but I would also be super interested in a story where Danshu slowly changes into someone who’s comfortable to take power for herself ( and not necessarily as an end in itself, but as a means to an end?), rather than serve, as the scales fall from her eyes.  Again history says, she was practically forced to retire from her position as regent after Renzong’s death. I don’t know if the drama will go there- more likely it’ll stop a little after his death, and the establishment of her as regent and Zongshi as emperor. 

Anyways, at this point, I’ve more or less accepted that *my * happy ending for Danshu in canon would basically be her surviving Emperor Fucklord and being surrounded by people to love and admire her, and no longer having to play second fiddle to a man she’s ten times better than. 

- In Emperor Fucklord update- he gets really angry with Maoze in a way that’s not totally explicable? As a result he both gives Maoze a promotion while simultaneously sending Maoze away from him; later, when he finds out that Dong Qiuhe was hired by Maoze, I think he’s already, in his mind using it to justify his angry reaction to Maoze’s telling him that he’d failed to report Xia Song’s affair with Jia to him. Perhaps Emperor Fucklord is so angry because he feels that the whole scandal could have been avoided if Maoze had kept him informed; perhaps he feels that giving Maoze more leeway not fully in accordance with usual conventions is against the principle he was preaching to Huaiji just before- the need to control even “personal kindness” because it could lead to indiscipline and overturning of the stable social order. RULES ARE GOOD, is Emperor Fucklord’s new mantra, after spending half his life thus far blaming every woman in sight for following rules! Perhaps it’s the retreat of a ruler who’s been badly hurt by the debacle of the war, perhaps it’s just the usual thing where people become more conservative as they get older? Whatever it is, I foresee some immediate pain for Maoze and the Empress as they navigate this more rigid version of him coupled with his paranoia. 

- The contrast between Emperor Fucklord’s embrace of convention and tradition just as Huirou, in her innocence, is questioning everything is nicely done, and sets the stage for their future conflicts. 

- I like the Huirou/Huaiji friendship; her unknowing poking at his wounds, and her immediate regret when she sees that he’s hurting. I also really like that it’s essentially her friendship with him that’s setting her on the path of questioning a lot of shit that passes for “tradition”. She’s too young to know it or feel it as keenly now, but as a noble woman, she’s only a few steps higher in practice, than the eunuch. And I don’t doubt that it’s partly that kinship which will drive their relationship forward. 

The only thing slightly uncomfortable for me is that knowing these two are meant to be a couple in the future shadows all the current (non sexual/romantic!) interaction, and with the age difference between them, it’s just- weird. Perhaps if I hadn’t known their future trajectory, it would be easier. I should clarify it’s nothing inappropriate in their writing- it’s just the foreknowledge fucks it up for me. 

Anyways, the one thing I didn’t get in these two episodes was any direct interaction between Maoze + Danshu and that is unacceptable!!!!! Why am I even watching this except for them???!!!! PFFFT. 

[harinezumiko]

Long  Pearlnet Discussion Under Cut

ITT: Meta, bitching, and @antipuff letting me have my Opinions and putting up with my mad ramblings. 

Harinezumiko:

(ITT we never finish our goddamn fics)

god, I should relent and reread the Jaspearl Kyou Kara Maou Fake Married fic and finish it

I say knowing I went so far from canon that I would die from it

ROSE WAS STILL PINK DIAMOND THOUGH

GOT THAT SHIT RIGHT /SHOT

 Antipuff:

YOU SURE DID XD

You have amazing precog

 Harinezumiko:

I think I actually had Jasper call Pearl out on being Pink's Pearl because Everyone Knew But Steven in that fic

where's the Pearlnet Sugar woman

I came for the OTP when do I get it

 Antipuff:

You've guessed everything correctly, you deserve the Pearlnet xD

 Harinezumiko:

I. DO.

[Redacted]

Garnet also, by How Writing A Character Arc Works, deserves to a) have the autonomy to decide if she wants sum fuk individually and not just declare that it'd be impeding on Rupphire, b) needs to be demonstrably wrong about her future vision in a way that isn't just for comedy or just to idiot ball a plot point, c) get sum fuk damn son she and Pearl are both hopeless romantics why are they not dating, d) stop being a pillar of the group and actually make good on letting the others in where we get to see it, e) not end the series being Solitary Black [Woman] Who Don't Need No [Man]™

having said this, I would also accept option f) get down to Bismuth ;D

also permafusion needs to stop being the only romantic demonstration of love between Gems

also why did we get "Three's a Crowd" declared twice and then Steven tells Amethyst Bismuth's third wordplay namedrop would be funny and get proven wrong, why are you not giving me my rule of three with Three's A Crowd, where the fuck is the final note

I mean I guess the numbered Lion episodes wasn't 3 either but >_>

 Antipuff:

xDD

But yeah, those are some good points

 Harinezumiko:

also I feel okay with my e) point mainly because [friend] not only agrees, I think they're the one who gave me the formatting, so.

 Antipuff:

*nod nod nod I think that one's the best point!

 Harinezumiko:

I do too! Although I also don't think that the ship should sail solely to subvert the trope. But like... what was the point of Sardonyx arc if they end the series more emotionally distant than they started it?

like, Pearl lying to Garnet [and Ruby and Sapphire] is so distressing that Garnet can't exist over it

and they then make it clear that this is Not Normal and also that finding out Rose was a lying liar is at least as distressing when they drop the Pink Diamond Bomb, when do I get resolution

 Antipuff:

Right??

 Harinezumiko:

like, at least lampshade it outside of the book on fusion where the only page with Garnet as an individual component to the fusion other than Rupphire is the Sardonyx lead-in where Sugar used a line typically describing romantic relationships for it

I would not be #satisfied but like at least have someone say it in the show??

give me someone from the rebellion noticing they're domestic damn you Sugar

 Antipuff:

xD God, right? Don't just tease it!

 Harinezumiko:

right??

like, it wouldn't even be totally unprecedented, we literally have Bismuth and Amethyst who've only seen them at wildly different points in knowing each other

and Bismuth already remarked on Pearl's affectionate behavior being Not What She's Used To like a liar, because give me touch-starved overly-affectionate Pearl who lavishes affection on her friends after battle because she's afraid she won't see them again because she has to go back with Pink and pretend they didn't just fight  Yellow's troupes directly and Pink's not disposable like she is

it would be completely appropriate for her to be like Amethyst wtf they're attached at the hip, I have never seen this, and Amethyst to be like yeah no they were worse, also this is why I visit the barn always, Steven's room is too crowded now that he's got a neck

//shot

 Antipuff:

sgfbhrwbhgwal too crowded

If Bismuth isn't used to it, I wonder at what point they started being touchy-feely with each other?

 Harinezumiko:

Right?

Pearl was pretty handsy with Amethyst in the early-90s because someone had to reign in the feral child, so my assumption without shipping goggles was that they were all more physical before Rose died

and where Amethyst and Pearl clashed utterly on Not Dealing With That Shit and wound up fighting about everything, Pearl overcompensated for losing both the opportunity to cling on Rose and the closeness she'd had with Amethyst by gluing herself to Garnet's arm all the time, and Garnet allowed it because her new Leader Spot prevented her from being outwardly vulnerable

and then the +shipping opinion on my end was that they've been in love the entire time because OTP friends-to-lovers, and Garnet never said anything because Rose Reasons, and was waiting for Pearl to get her head out of the sand

...and also, obviously, in Pearl's case, a side of "oh my god the Gem I was made for is half of a meaty human baby now and everyone from the rebellion is either shattered or corrupted, I can't lose Garnet too" which only gets gayer the longer the series goes on

but I don't think Sardonyx would be who she is if the closeness was just after Rose died

 Antipuff:

No, I don't think she would be either

I don't think they'd been Sardonyx since Rose died tbh

 Harinezumiko:

I think if they had, it would've been to get shit done, but I generally agree

it would've only been short-bursts

but it'd also explain Amethyst's buttmad if she had a snag in her mane deep down that they still formed Sardonyx but she and Pearl couldn't form Opal

 Antipuff:

Yeahhhh that absolutely tracks!

Harinezumiko:

watch, though, Sardonyx only existed post-Rose because Escapism outside of instances where Amethyst's life was at stake, but Amethyst being Amethyst only ever needed Sardonyx Intervention right before poofing

[burnededens]

   ( avan jogia, trans male, he/him, assassin’s creed: syndicate ) * &. i know it must be scary for you, jacob frye, after not surviving the takeover. to turn into someone like jacob "jake” fowles, a twenty-five year-old bartender at dragon’s breath brewery & fighter at the ring, right here in castle town. just remember that you are as charming as you are reckless, and to be wary, be safe, be true to who you are : neutral through and through. ( hylia gets assassin’s creed on main )

   SO FUN FACT - I have been wanting to write this character in this group for months and it is absolutely a crime that it took me this long to pick him up but here we FINALLY are ! I’m genuinely shocked he’s the first Assassin’s Creed character here because I personally think all of the characters are phenomenal and it was either gonna be this character or the protagonist from two games before ( Edward Kenway of Black Flag ) but I have a slightly greater preference towards Jacob so !! Behold the living embodiment of chaotic good !! Obvious tws for death , violence , and murder under the cut because this is a series about assassins , but also gang stuff ( and a very small bullying mention in the post-snap portion ) too. I hope this is easy to understand !! 

BEFORE THE SNAP  /  J A C O B   F R Y E .

S’OKAY again I will always try and explain the games’ history and Syndicate’s specific plotline in the simplest of ways - and especially because AC can get very confusing very fast. Thankfully Syndicate is one of the more straightforward entries , but before I get into that , I have to give a basic rundown of the lore since... it will not make sense if you haven’t played any of the games.

A long long long time ago , there were these people called the Isu , and the Isu crafted something that the AC franchise refers to as Pieces of Eden. The Pieces of Eden ultimately has access to control other living beings , and they were extremely powerful.

Flash forward a little bit where you have two forces - the Knights’ Templar and the Assassin Order/Brotherhood - that struggled for these Pieces of Eden for two very different reasons.

The Templars valued order and wanted to use them to control others to achieve a utopia - believing that human corruption & essentially free will were what caused most evils of the world.

The Assassins valued freedom & wanted to preserve the free will of the world , believing that control would do them no good and a mutual understanding under this freedom would be what created a utopia.

So basically , Templars wanted peace via control and Assassins wanted peace via freedom.

Templars wanted the Pieces of Eden to control , and the Assassins knew this was Not Good and often sought to keep the Pieces the fuck away from the Templars ( at least , that’s always how I saw it. )

Of course , because we’re now on like ten main games and seventeen spin-off games it’s OBVIOUSLY way more complicated than that , just that’s the most nutshell way to explain everything. That being said , let’s jump more into Jacob & Syndicate. 

SO JACOB. Jacob is one of the two protagonists of Syndicate , the younger twin to the other protagonist , his sister Evie. They were born in Crawley , raised by their Assassin father , but while Evie was always more . . . into the Brotherhood and assassin ideals , Jacob always was more of a rebel & a free spirit. But nevertheless , he grew up an Assassin like she.

Flash forward years later where the main plot of Syndicate starts , during the Industrial Revolution in 1868 , where the twins are set on heading to London , which is pretty much entirely under control of the Templars ( namely Crawford Starrick and his network ) & their syndicates ( ha ha hA ).

This . . . is sort of where Jacob & Evie separate in terms of goals - Evie’s well-aware of the Pieces of Eden and aims to collect them before the Templars do. However , Jacob’s more so intent on taking down Templars & liberating London from their control. He goes as far as to even starting a gang with his sister - known as the Rooks - to combat the Templar-controlled gang that has London’s boroughs in its grasp known as the Blighters. 

Evie’s basically like “okay we’re going to collect the Pieces of Eden so the templars don’t have them bc Starrick will be more powerful if he has them” but Jacob says to her “fUCK YOU I’M A MAN WHO’S GONNA FREE THE PEOPLE” and. Yeah.

Throughout the game , Jacob’s the twin that exhibits a more impulsive , reckless , yet well-meaning approach to problems - and that sorta kinda . . . means that when he solves problems , he also accidentally makes other problems , and his sister has to clean them up because hey , you killed this Templar leader and angered a bunch of Blighters and we are fucked and Jacob can’t really. Grasp that because he’s too focused on freeing London NOW and taking out Templars NOW and [ Sleeping With Sirens vc ] do it NOW and remember deal with it LATER.

There’s a few cases where Jacob has even so ( both unintentionally and intentionally ) teamed up with Templars because he thought they could help him accomplish his goals in taking London back from them.

He teamed up with Pearl Attaway ( a businesswoman who controlled most of London’s transport and wanted basically a monopoly ) and didn’t find out until later that she was a Templar and had to assassinate her since she was the exact type of controller he wanted to rid London of

But also he struck a deal with Maxwell Roth ( basically a Blighter gang leader who had a shitton of power ) to work with him - but Maxwell saw this as let’s cause as much chaos as possible and fuck the consequences where Jacob saw it as more let’s fix problems by any means necessary and he had to shut down the deal when he saw Roth really just . . . didn’t give a fuck about anyone , including innocents. Jacob’s whole goal was to free and protect the innocents , he just didn’t care how as long as nobody got hurt.

AND THAT’S HONESTLY WHAT I LOVE SM ABOUT JACOB LIKE ... Jacob. Is the epitome of chaotic good like he cares so much about people and protecting the innocents & saving them from control that yeah he doesn’t really . . . consider the consequences of his actions especially when his actions are so chaotic but his primary goal is to free the people of London by taking down Templars and he doesn’t give a fuck how he’s going to do it , he just operates on his code of making sure none of the good people get hurt and the bad guys go down. 

Eventually in the game he did come to realize the errors in his own work and way of thinking - he didn’t think much of the consequences , and therefore caused more of a wreckage than he aimed for. He loved the idea of freedom , but drew the line at absolute careless anarchy like Roth.

Basically be a REBEL not an ASSHOLE.

I love this kid tho like he’s so witty and rebellious and chaotic but also good-hearted and will still help even tho he might complain a lot about it ( looks at Abberline and Darwin ) and he !! He honestly acts before he thinks but I find those characters so refreshing esp bc he’s very emotional and adamant about acting on how he feels and his ideals and it’s honestly so. Idk I really like that about him.

He’s also canonically bisexual and that is something I will never shut up about but if you fucking even tHINK ABOUT ROMANTICIZING ROTH & JACOB’S RELATIONSHIP ( like it’s p much confirmed Roth had a thing 4 Jacob but it’s not. That’s not a Good Thing ) I will personally throw some hands with you. 

...Jacob and Ned however-

SPARE NED?? SPARE NED MA’AM??? 

But honestly anyway TLDR; Jacob is a Victorian chaos-bringer who doesn’t really think much about the shit he does but has a heart of gold he’s just. He’s A Lot. He’s a lil bitch but a good kind of lil bitch.

ALSO ALSO ALSO I AM,,,, not exactly entirely sure where I’m pulling Jacob yet like I could pull him from the end of Syndicate’s main story but also there’s the Jack the Ripper DLC which makes me... feel things, but Jacob’s also significantly older than and a good bit of that DLC’s a bit triggering - long story short, we love and will protect Jacob Frye with our entire lives. 

AFTER THE SNAP  / J A K E   F O W L E S .

So PERSONALITY WISE - Jake isn’t much different from his past self ; the only thing is he never grew up with his twin sister , raised an only child , and because Jacob & Evie are meant to balance each other out , he essentially grew up without an entire part of him he isn’t even aware of.

He was adopted - adopted by a working-class family from London that moved to Castle Town , and that was where Jake was raised.

Now , he was always a bit of a rebel. Always a problem child from the start. There were hundreds and hundreds of cases where he was reported either talking back to teachers , misbehaving in class , sometimes even getting into fights with other kids whether it be they were picking on him or someone else.

And he always liked the thrill of being that rebel - being that miscreant that earned a reputation ; never a mean person , never a bad dude , just somebody who . . . acted out. Acted out for whatever reason - mainly because he never liked the idea of obeying or because he taught the rules were stupid or because the rules meant some people were gonna get inconvenienced. Like , if you see someone getting bullied , why just tell an adult where you can solve the problem right then and there and sock the bully in the jaw ??

That was it. That was Jake’s philosophy.

His parents sent him to multiple hobby & art & educational camps & stuff to try and see if he could find some sort of hobby that would sorta get him out of this ‘problem child’ thing - but it never really worked. He always either got sent home earlier or was asked to never come back because hey , you can’t start a rebellion in the boys’ cabin because you didn’t like the way one of the counselors instructed you about knot tying. 

Never worked out , his parents thought he was smart and would make a brilliant lawyer or doctor or something - but nope , he graduated high school , attempted college but dropped out after two years , and when his parents kicked him out , he crashed with a few friends and made a living on odd jobs before he scored working as a bartender at Dragon’s Breath.

And also . . . both fighting at The Ring and also underground matches for some coin.

Yeah. 

It’s sorta-kinda through this he ALSO became aware of the other people who had to resort to means like this to survive - eventually starting his own gang of people who operated on sorta-kinda Robin Hood like terms - protect the less fortunate , combat the gangs who caused way more problems than he’d like , and also to basically uhhh flip the bird to the rich.

You guessed it - they’re called The Rooks and they’re not really . . . big , they’re just kind of. There. And nobody knows Jake’s the leader but it’s not like he’s really pressed if anyone finds out. 

It’s overall not entirely different from his pre-CT life other than obvious modern differences and LACK OF EVIE sooo. Yeah !!

I’ll hopefully work on a WC page for him soon but as of rn I just kinda want to get some threads going - hope y’all enjoy my dumbass kid xoxoooo

[hootpoop12]

Ok, Meat route feelings:

Ok, this is...by FAR the superior route just saying. Not. That that is saying much seeing what the candy route was but every time I fall into despair over this I just grit my teeth and think about how parts of meat weren’t terrible pfft

-Lets get the johnrezi out of the way cause that’s kinda my thing. So. Good shit pfft I will admit I was little worried that Calliope and mainly Dirk could have tampered with them a bit but I’m pretty sure for the most part they didn’t? Dirk kinda made John feel weird post coital which kinda pissed me off but other than that. Them feelings 100% legit. These two people genuinely love each other. In both routes John’s thought would ALWAYS drift back to Terezi and Terezi’s only comfort was having John’s body with her after it all. Their romance is both cathartic because they are two MISERABLE people who only have each other to understand their feelings and fucking tragic because in candy all he had was a picture and in meat they had a physical confirmation of their feelings only for it to be voyeur’d and then ripped away by fucking John’s death. If there is more to come- I can only image there is- Terezi and Vriska will hopefully somehow team up and look for a way to revive John. Even If their romance was fleeting like 95% ship in Homestuck their support and care for one another is fucking REAL. It was straight UP the only real thing in Candy and I will fight others who say differently. 

-John going back in time to round everyone up felt weird. For the first time they all really felt like children and them all fighting lord english? WOW. Ouch. Especially Dave?? This Dave was the last to go and in the most brutal fucking way?? Kid had to watch Rose and Jade die and still fought pretty well, though. which goes to show Dave is a fucked up dude but when it comes to shit that needs to get done he can hold his own. Thaaaaaats why Adult Dave in both epilogues kinda grated on me a little? Not to fucking say UGH Dave is now more healed and stable this sucks!! I’m more saying there’s a lot of fics that whumpify Dave into a soft boi who too pure for this world and it slightly reminds me of it. That’s probably more of me just being to attached to MY view and headcanons of Dave, though, and maybe I need to let that go a little? 

-Davekat finally fucking happened. Ten years is too long of a slow burn for me I’m sorry lmao seriously I sound like Dirk when I say this but I really thought they sac’d up during the meteor and were already in a relationship. Dave’s whole conversation with John on the lilypad.......literally sounded like he was in a relationship with Karkat.......what the hell, honestly...........I’m glad it was on Dave’s own volition rather than’s Dirk’s gross as fuck pushing at least.

-That brings us to Dirk. The man who has been making my stomach church whenever I remember. My feelings about him are...............fucking complicated. I’ve been reblogging and bitching about him being “ruined” or whatever but.......That really is the simplified version of what I’ve been thinking. I think.....He’s been corrupted by his aspect or he’s just taking this heel “must be the new villain” too seriously. Like, I fucking despise it when people go off and say Bro was corrupted by Cal or Gamzee was corrupted by literally anything cause those two are just fucking trash, I’m sorry. I think I’m mostly upset by Dirk more than anything because his WHOLE thing was that he was a controlling dude with the potential to become an atrocious man and that he was starting to really take control of his path and work his way into becoming a better person. His talk with Jane on his sacrificial slab? His talk with Dave on the roof..........His heart aspect had begun to bring all his splinters together for his ultimate self and when the majority of your splinters carry a very sociopathic personality..............Man, there was literally no hope for him ever, huh? Literally none. The theme of working towards a better version of yourself is MEANINGLESS if your name is Dirk Strider. A character who struggles with depression, suicide, and absolute self loathing and his only path is this. Become the monster he was always terrified to become. Like I’m straight up about to cry writing this holy shit. Dirk is one of my favorite characters of all time- my FIRST favorite character when reading the comic- one of my MAIN reasons for reading it because I heard there was a canon gay character and I needed that in that time of my life. What almost hurts just as much as Dirk being a good guy and forcefully having this fate thrust upon him is that Roxy, the person Dirk cared about the most,.........Like............misgendering them. and being incredibly flippant and rude about trans stuff.......I can’t even begin to describe how much it hurt to read the character you looked up so much fucking being terrible about something that means so much to you. I’m agender and it just hurt is all I’m saying. This leads back to the bizarre issue of Dirk also being sexist and using gay in a strangely duragatory way. Like, Dirk grew up not really putting values on labels so for him to be weirdly transphobic does lead back to the ideas of this being a corrupted Dirk or him just playing the role of a villain. I do believe there is still the old Dirk we know in there, however, as even now Dirk states he could NOT hurt Dave. So some hope?

-Jake. I’m pretty sure Hussie fucking hates the dude like holy shit lmao......lmao in the least funniest way..............In both route Jake is jerked around like a plaything, having his personality dampened by the oppressive narrative. The one time we see Jake have repreive from such a shitty fate is when he’s talking to davekat about the election. That was the single moment we saw the curtain fall and the “intelligence” reenter the dude. I know this is like the “fanon” version of Jake. Every single character has fallen to that: whumpified Dave, puppet master dirk, bitchy mean jane, ect but litereally reading about him coming back to himself fucking HURT. Him being made to be obsessed with Dirk was so fucking gross I was cringing the entire time. The last few months I’ve been slowly accepting DirkJake back into my heart and this just fucking SHATTERED that warmth holy shit. Jake’s struggles with non-consensual bullshit is really starting to wear me down I just want him to be happy and RESPECTED. 

-Alrighty heavy stuff out of the way I will say this: I read candy first and at the end where Alt!Calliope is speaking to Aradia I had almost no goddamn idea what the fuck she was talking about. I even started to get kinda angry cause Homestuck tends to not take itself TOO seriously? There are some philosopical mind melting shit to read and consider but never too much where it’s incomprehensible to me? So when I finished candy I was like alright. Hussie just wanted to jerk himself off. whatever. Then I read meat and was like. OH. This.......this is actually fantastically interesting I can do this meta bullshit! and despite everything I just said about Dirk..........I fucking MISSED reading in his voice and it caught me off guard SO much which is what I love about Homestuck. There were a lot of tip offs but the one that really stood out to me before finding out was the Jake and Jane makeout. It kept going back to Dirk and I was very surprised by that? Jake sounded like he was over Dirk and yet here he was......unable to stop thinking about it? Shit makes. SO much sense I definitely am gonna reread it to look for other stuff, too. The tug of war via the narrative was incrediably entertaining as well.....Dirk is like a super sensitve incel now (caliborn would be proud) so it was hilarious to see him lose grip of it to Calliope. UGH I’m a little guilty to say it but I’m such a slut for anything Dirk I’m also KINDA looking forward to see where this goes and enjoying him being a villain A LITTLE. I know I sound wish washy but hey sometimes feelings contradict!

[annesanquish]

my understanding of the Evillious chronicles so far

universe is created through shenanigans. unsure of shenanigans, but may have something to do with same person from two different worlds uniting and sharing such an immense knowledge of sin that they just birth a universe

eve eat apple

make seven sins

a witch is given the seed of god and gives birth to twins, Hansel and Gretel. not important until later.

seven sins get trapped in tree

tree gives sins to old witch with two kids that may or may not have been Hansel and Gretel (dont think they were, but unsure of the details)

the twins take the sins and separate them and release them into the world

sins take vessels

the vessels each correspond to an area. lots of people die

gluttony sin eats herself in her hunger to become master of the graveyard. you trespass, you die and get eaten

unsure of whether sloth sin is master of the court or not- sources say yes, other sources say no. anyway, sloth kills her entire kingdom and then herself, thinking she’s granting them eternal happiness through sleep.

envy sin’s child stops a war by killing a gang member that killed her parents in a fire. she's actually a hero. yay envy

lust is literally not important to the canon. at all. whatsoever. but he gets killed by a crossdresser so thats cool

the pride vessel/daughter of evil has her own set of like five songs so she has her own arc. basically, she's a princess and she has this twin that is made to be her servant. she gets raised as this self absorbed bitch while her servant twin is raised under the head of her royal guard to do her bidding. she falls in love with a prince, who is in love with a green haired girl who comes from a country with other green haired people besides the green haired girls best friend who has white hair. pride vessel gets angry at the fact that the prince won't accept her betrothal offer because of this green haired girl, so she makes her servant twin and her army go out and commit genocide against the green haired people. the prince and the head of the guard end up rebelling against her, and its believed that either 

a) she was just publicly executed, which is the path one song took, or

b) her servant twin took her place because they looked the same and she ran off to help a man out at a church which the white haired girl from before also worked for, and the white haired girl tried to kill her but failed because the white haired girl saw her own, lonely self in the princesses eyes so the princess lived, which was supported by two songs so I think this is canon

the greed vessel is not only Pierre noel, the leader of a cool gang that converts children to do their bidding and then kills people, but also a corrupt judge. if you pay him enough money, he’ll get you out of jail whether you did something wrong or not. he had two daughters, one of which was killed by the other one. he thinks a clockwork doll is the dead daughter and believes that everything he’s doing is to get her help for the fact that she’s paralyzed. she’s actually just a doll.

(there’s a brief thing somewhere in here about one of the kids that works for them dying but I dont remember the song well enough to include the arc)

the wrath sin is the greed’s vessel’s second daughter, the one who killed the first daughter. the wrath sin’s mother may be the god of time but unsure. anyway, wrath sin ends up being made to kill her lover for some kind of unspecified reason and tries to kill herself but she cant die, so she goes to kill Pierre noel, the person who told her to kill her lover, but oops turns out Pierre noel is also her father and, when hes told to hand over his fortune in exchange for his life, he doesn’t, so the wrath and greed vessels die in a house fire because the wrath sin set the house on fire before going into shoot him. 

except that apparently the wrath sin is the master of the hellish yard and, when she offered the greed sin the chance to escape that was actually her judging him. he refuses to give his money to the master of the hellish yard so she sends him to hell, which he says that, with the help of the other sins, he will turn into paradise for him and his daughter. who is a doll.

anyway, so this Hansel guy, played by Len, has been popping in and out of the story at various times and like dying a lot. It turns out he’s actually this thing called Punishment, a weapon that the master of the hellish yard can use to basically destroy and reboot the world of Evillious. Hansel/Punishment just kind of goes around observing all the sin in the world and being like “hah you’re all gonna die some day”

and at some point the master of the court, who may be the reincarnated sloth sin, the master of the graveyard, punishment, and ma who was the wrath’s vessel’s mom and I think became god of time, come together for a trial against someone but im not sure and I think its for a murder but eventually they get sent to hell by the master of the hellish yard 

also the master of the heavenly yard is the writer of the song series mothy

I wish the short novels were in English for me to get so I could actually understand any of this? but anyway

[kotolocke]

Entry #01: New Bark & Beyond.

God it really has been a week since I started this blog and I still haven’t updated it? Gotta stop being useless and post more regularly. I’ve made decent headway into the game so I have several posts I need to make about it. So let’s get started. I’ll save y’all from a long summary of the game events and stick with just mentioning important game-play stuff and how Lyra reacts to them.

First up: Elm’s request.

   This whole little introductory quest that Elm sends her on is actually kinda meaningful to her perception of herself as a trainer. In blog cannon, Lyra immediately goes to collect her starter from Elm after having a massive argument with her Mum about leaving home, which ended with her Mum basically pushing her out of the door and telling her she wouldn’t care if she came back. She would. She didn’t mean it, she was just lashing out. But Lyra didn’t know that and she ran most of the way to the lab choking back tears.

   So she takes a deep breath, calms herself down and as soon as she’s in the lab, Elm’s asking her to act as a representative of the lab and complete an important task for them. At this point, Lyra’s already been helping out around the lab for some time so this isn’t entirely out of the ordinary. But being asked to take care of a “real” “discovery” one of Elm’s peers has made whilst she’s still highly fraught from a fight but is pretending that she’s totally fine? This is the basis of the person she becomes. Someone who thinks of herself as a highly important “chosen person” who cannot express her real emotions or else she’ll won’t be taken seriously or allowed to follow her goals. Because something tells me Elm wouldn’t be too comfy sending a crying eleven year old off into the wild world of Pokemon after a big fight with her parents.

Next up: Lyra’s starter.

   Meet Cabbage!

   She’s an extremely sheltered Chikorita who honestly never thought she was actually going to end up travelling with a trainer. Surely she was just going to spend the rest of her life in the lab with the Professor? Lyra decided otherwise, and decided primarily because she was the only girl of the three Pokemon Elm was raising. Lyra was anticipating getting some flack for being a young girl on a Pokemon journey so she kinda projected some of this onto Cabbage. Moron boy trainers would probably turn their nose up a cute, female Pokemon so she should had to take Cabbage with her so she wouldn’t feel like she was anyone’s last choice.

   Cabbage would have been okay with that but unfortunately can’t tell Lyra how she feels. She’s just gotta learn to embrace all the terrifying Pokemon battles Lyra puts her through. Which happens surprisingly quickly; Lyra’s an impatient girl but she always gives her Pokemon the time they need to adjust. Speaking of adjust:

Cabbage is legitimately confused and slightly irritated about her nickname. It’s the first of many little annoyances that eventually lead to her becoming stubborn and standoffish towards Lyra as she grows more confident.

Next: Mr. Pokemon & Professor Oak.

   In terms of character development, this whole scenario kinda bolsters Lyra’s ego even more. But I want to single it out because it’s the start of one of her three major plot threads:

   This fckin’ egg. This egg is important and eventually hatches into one of Lyra’s core team members. This egg is also lowkey a symbol of everything early journey Lyra thinks about herself. She’s so unique and powerful and special, Elm can see she’s naturally good with Pokemon so he chose her to go on this dangerous quest to collect a mysterious egg! And better yet, during this quest the esteemed Professor Oak, advisory to the legendary Red, asks her if she can help him out with something too!

   He gives her a high-tech Pokedex, an item so exclusive that only a handful of trainers own one? Wow she must be the best trainer out there, she’s only just got her first Pokemon and everyone’s falling over themselves to get her to do trainer stuff for them. Clearly she’s hyper naturally talented and all the smart Pokemon experts know it! She’s a dumbass child. I love her.

   Anyway, why’s the egg important you ask? Oh—

—no reason.

And finally: Silver.

   Did you know: Lyra absolutely hates Silver’s guts pretty much until she sees he also hates Team Rocket? Because he kinda epitomises the older boys who would belittle her for being a girl who wanted to be a trainer?

   It’s pretty clear to Lyra that Silver kinda knows some shit about Pokemon training because she hears him muttering shit about Elm’s lab being “famous”. Bitch, the only people that Elm’s famous to are fringe nutcase trainers who breed for something they call IVs because he’s basically lord high king of egg knowledge or whatever. That makes it doubly annoying when Silver tries to kick her when she asks if he’s getting a Pokemon there too and twice as satisfying when she knocks him over with a retaliation kick and stamps off righteously. She’s especially glad that she chose Cabbage at this point; just thinking of what he might say about her makes Lyra fume. 

   More evidence that Silver is a bog-standard shitface sexist kid:

Whilst Silver would say this sort of crap to anyone, this hits a little too close to home for Lyra and she takes it as a misogynistic insult. Generally implying that she’s somehow not worthy of becoming a trainer is a surefire way to make Lyra go feral because she kinda thinks it’s the only thing she’s good at. And it’s just not true, look at what level Cabbage is at this point:

Three levels above where she started and only around 3-4 hours have passed since they first met. Lyra is insanely good at training Pokemon. She has great intuition when it comes to assessing individual Pokemon’s strengths and weaknesses and encourages them to fight in whatever way suits them best. She doesn’t always have great long-term strategy in battle, but she knows exactly what her Pokemon can and cannot take and dish out and this is what secures her most of her victories.

   Also Silver’s “someone weak” comment  is 100% self-projection, just so we’re clear.

   lyra vc: lmao yeah i am???

   lyra vc: lmao no!!!

   Queue Lyra getting Actually Mad™ because there is no way a dick like Silver could become a better trainer than her?? She’s gonna be the greatest, just you wait and see Tampon!!

   If you don’t think she was holding it in the air just out of his reach then you have fundamentally underestimated how much of a petty little shit my Lyra is.

   Regardless, Lyra then runs back to the lab to see exactly why Elm called her in such a panic.

In conclusion: All cops are bad.

   A kind of recurring theme in Lyra’s story is her distrust of traditional authority figures, and it all starts here.

   Okay, so obviously this exchange is so cartoonishly stupid that I cannot see it going down like this in blog cannon. But the cop that does come to investigate the lab in blog canon is pretty much as incompetent as this guy. Stealing a Pokemon is kind of not a big deal in Johto? Shit happens all the time, the cops are corrupt as fuck and they don’t care about doing their job. It’s the reason Rocket was able to regroup in Johto without anyone really making any attempt to stop them.

   So this guy is mad that he’s been taken really far out of his way to investigate some minor crime in a tiny town and now some brat kid is going on about how some other kid was rude to her? Yeah, he’s not happy and totally belittles her, calling her “girlie” and scoffing at the idea of her and her wimpy looking Pokemon could have defeated a criminal. It’s not until Lyra insists that it was the red haired boy Elm mentioned to the guy she battled that he starts listening to her, and even then he’s still extremely brusque with her. And Lyra cannot stand being talked down to so this drives her round the bend.

   A lot of terrifying things happen to Lyra during her journey, enough that she could easily qualify for police protection, but she never once asks for it throughout her journey. Because whenever she imagines walking into a police station, she imagines a bunch of wrinkly, balding, middle-aged men who will belittle and insult her the same way this cop did. And she’s not going to willingly suffer through that again.

[noneedforbloodpressure]

Hey so, with blacklisting now being a thing on mobile I’m gonna start posting about the Last Jedi, beginning with some of my thoughts. All spoilers under the cut.

While I enjoyed the move as a whole - it combined aspects of ESB and ROTJ while still being its own thing as well as provided a narrative about failure and hope - I’ve got some issues with it. Two of those are major - that being racist undertones (whether they were intentional or not, they were there) and characterization.

First off, there was a lot of unnecessary violence against characters of color. Finn and Rose getting forced to their knees and, in Finn’s case, slapped? Seriously? The kneeling I can understand because they’re supposed to be getting executed, though it’s still fucking uncomfortable because PoC being forced to kneel in front of Space N*zis (even if Finn did have a fucking badass fight against Phasma), but the fucking slap? Really????

Breaching racism and characterization, anyone else feel like Poe’s characterization not only didn’t quite fit with what we saw in TFA but was also wayyy too close to a Latinx stereotype? Like yes, Poe is confident, but he never came off as particularly cocky to me. If anything he came off as fiercely compassionate (See: Giving Finn a Name) but they went with cocky as the character trait. I get you were trying to dismantle the cocky pilot trope, but trope dismantling is never worth emboldening a stereotype that has derogatory effects on real people.

Also, I’m really, really uncomfortable with how Finn, Poe, and Rose’s arc and efforts amounted to nothing while Holdo saved the day. I’m not here for any sort of narrative about ~well meaning but oh-so-naive~ people of color and the ~wise white woman~ that is Right and Corrects them. I’m especially not here for that in star wars, given it’s track record with racism (it’s founded on anti-asian racism and has never treated black characters well) and the fact that all the female leads until Rose Tico have been white.

This time breaching sexism and characterization, I’m not really feeling Rey’s motivations to save Kylo. I appreciate the movie proving that Kylo is a dick no matter how many people are nice to him, but it just played a little too close to the “woman is forced to undergo grueling emotional labor to make a shitty man not shitty,” and I’m not here for those narratives either. Also, her caring about him came out of nowhere. Now, Rey wanting to redeem him so Han didn’t die in vain or for Leia or even for Luke, that I could see…(but more on that later).

And then of course, there’s Luke. Luke, my poor boy, they butchered your character. I can understand Luke being sad and bitter and angry and guilty, but the thought that Luke Skywalker, the man who looked at Darth Vader himself and saw something worth saving, would ever raise his saber against his nephew for something that might happen is preposterous. What the fuck.

On a smaller note, I feel like some things from Force Awakens weren’t really followed through to their potential. While I like the fact that Rey ISN’T a Skywalker, and under other circumstances would love her parents being nobodies, it just wasn’t a satisfying conclusion to the build-up it received. I feel similarly about Snoke. Also all those implications of Finn being Force Sensitive? Nowhere to be seen. I’m really mad about that (the racist implications…).

It was also kind of a waste to kill off Phasma, in my opinion, but I don’t really see how it could be avoided without sacrificing Finn’s development in the movie, and I’m not willing to do that, so…

And Now, I will take a hammer and FIX the canon.

Fundamentally all of these problems (sans the Phasma thing) are pretty easy to fix.

Start with the dreadnaught fight’s end - Poe is shaking as he comes out of his X-Wing. So many people died. All he’s ever wanted to do was save people, thought that’s what he would be doing by destroying that damn ship (they’d been too late to save the Hosnian system and the Republic fleet, wasn’t it his duty to make sure anything that could even cause a modicum of that destruction and death was obliterated from the galaxy?), and in his single-mindedness to do so, he ended up causing the exact opposite.

Poe Dameron, consumed by guilt, barely registers Leia demoting him (he technically deserved it for disobeying an order). She notices, of course, and tries to comfort him. He shrugs her off (he doesn’t think he deserves it).

Finn packs his bags and heads off to the escape pods, but when he gets there, he can’t do it. Didn’t he tell himself he was done running? Why the hell was he even considering this (hint: it’s the result of deep-seated trauma)?

The confrontation with Rose happens, but when Rose goes to taser him (only because it is part of her job), Finn grabs her wrist and stops her (sorry Rose, I love you dearly, but you’re a mechanic and Finn was a trained stormtrooper). “It’s not what it looks like,” he tells her. “I wanted to, sort of. I mean, the first order terrifies me - they’re tracking us through lightspeed! - but I can’t. I can’t abandon people who need me.”

And Rose Tico listens. And Rose Tico realizes how to stop the tracker.

They go to Poe, but Poe won’t help them. He won’t rat them out either, but “I didn’t listen to orders and look what happened.” (Trust me, I’m not writing Poe out of the action, I’m just trying to catalyze some development here too). Finn is the one who contacts Maz, Rose is the one who gets Lt. Connix on board, and she and Finn go off on their adventure. Finn doesn’t make all those downer comments that undermine his character (though Rose still gets to make her speech about her past because he asks her what’s wrong).

Rey convinces Luke train her - “just three lessons!” - and wheedles the story out of him. Luke, grief-stricken, tells her the story of how he’d believed there was good in Ben and waited too long. He tells her how he went to talk to him one night and stood over Ben’s bed trying to find the words. He tells her how he’d been idly running his hand over the hilt of his lightsaber - it’s a nervous habit. The saber helped him feel connected to his old mentor (who for all his flaws Luke respected greatly);  Luke had designed this lightsaber after Ben Kenobi’s after all - and when Ben woke up he’d mistaken it as Luke going to attack him.

Rey from Nowhere thinks back to the resistance, to all they’ve done for her, to their compassion, to Finn and Han and Chewie and Leia, and refuses to let Luke Skywalker give up on goodness and on love. She refuses to let Han Solo have died in vain. She refuses to let Leia Organa suffer any more loss. She is going to drag Ben Solo’s ass back to the light even if it kills him. There’s gotta be good somewhere inside him with family like that, right?

Back on the ship, Poe is growing restless. Eventually his worry overpowers his guilt and he confronts Holdo. “Rose and Finn were right, we can’t just do nothing!” And she grins and winks at him, says: “Actually, I’ve got a plan. I’ve been wondering when you’d ask,” and fills him in.

Finn and Rose still get caught on the first order’s ship, but things happen a little differently. As the first order moves to arrest them, Finn and Rose swap glances and both lunge at the last minute. Finn takes out the guard sent to arrest him via some impressive hand-to-hand, and Rose tasers the guard sent to arrest her. When Phasma aims to shoot, Finn reaches out and instinctively pulls her blaster to him. He’s confused as all fuck, but hey, he’s not about to question the Force if it wants to help him.

Cue shootout and cue Finn wrecking Phasma while Rose gets to work on that tracker. “We’ve done it; we’ve disabled the tracker.” they call back to the Rebel ship when the chaos dies. Unfortunately, the ship is now too low on fuel to make the jump to hyperspace. The rebels will still have to go to Crait. That said, it’s still a victory, because Rose Tico is no fool and corrupted their software and blueprint files too.

Rey’s fight with Snoke and then with Kylo happens a la canon, but she cuts Kylo’s arm off, because we haven’t had a good Star-Wars-style de-limbing in three movies. 

The first order still fires on the rebel pods, though they hit fewer of them simply because the traitor-codebreaker doesn’t get to tell them until far later (after he’s caught running away from Finn and Rose beating up Phasma and co). Holdo still makes her heroic sacrifice, but this time she’s not the only one who’s carried the day.

The rest of the movie carries on a la canon. Maybe Luke doesn’t die though…I’m not about to object to that.

TD;LR Star wars still has a racism problem and the characterization in this movie was wonky as all hell in part because of that. I bitch about that and then try my hand at a mildly canon-divergent fix it of said racism and poor characterization. Thanks for your time.

[captainschmoe]

I Will Survive [Beta] - Chapter 2: I’m Here

[A/N: This chapter’s a little late because it was being a little Billy bitch to write, and then last night my wifi was being a big Billy bitch and not connecting. But anyway, here it is! Enjoy the Septiishu sap.]

[Summary: In which Sean and Signe try to recover from whatever the fuck they just saw.]

[Previous - Next]

“Sean!”

The shout nearly jolted him right out of his seat. His seat? It’s his chair! And the voice - Signe’s voice! Was she here? She was right in front of him, cheeks puffy, red, and wet. So there was a shred of reality in the nightmare. This was reality, right? Please let it be real.

“Sean, are you okay?”

“Yeah,” he said, “I feel alright.” It was the truth. His body felt right, the feeling in his limbs was back. Aside from his racing heart, it was like nothing even happened. “Just had a super-creepy dream, is all.”

“Sean, don’t lie to me. I saw something horrifying.” Signe choked up again, attempting to say more, to no avail.

The only thing Sean could bring himself to do next was outstretch his arms. Signe practically fell into them. What a rush. Warmth. Comfort. Safety. Tears welled up in his eyes again. This is real! Good God, he wasn’t even in that... “dream,” or whatever it was, for that long - half an hour, tops, he figured - and still his emotions seized his core as though he was seeing Signe for the first time in a decade.

But just how horrifying was what she saw if she was this rattled?

Perhaps getting away from the scene of the crime would do them both a favor. “Here, why don’t we go out to the living room? We can kinda calm down a bit and talk out there.” Signe let go in wordless agreement, allowing Sean to stand up - legs stiff, though not quite as badly as in the dream. She took his hand soon after, and together they left the room that gave them hell.

Sean took the opportunity to scan his surroundings. Normal, normal, the colors were normal, the arrangement was normal, Signe was back. Everything was normal. Out a window, he saw light. What time was it? The clock on the wall above it read 12:37. Over halfway through the day before the first video was to be uploaded - if he would ever get the chance to do it. And crazy, possibly supernatural circumstances didn’t stop Sean from feeling a twinge of guilt over the fact that the community was going to start worrying - or theorizing, depending on the subgroup - over a genuine... error? Accident? Incident?

What was Sean supposed to call what happened to him? Unbelievable is what he’d call it. It’s not like he could just explain what just happened and expect anyone to believe him. Especially so close to the climax of the Anti hype.

At least he could take comfort in knowing he had Signe as a witness.

The pops of color in the living room provided Sean a sense of comfort. A breath of fresh air. The plants were back to their vibrant greens - more proof of life. And there was the sofa, ready to accept and ease them into its arms. Sean, too, wrapped his arm around Signe’s shoulders, less willing than ever before to let go.

“What did you see?”

Signe hesitated before speaking. It was clear the answer was difficult to recount, and Sean wasn’t about to pressure her. The comfort provided by her and the sofa was interrupted by a sudden twitch in his eye. Was this really the time for that?

She eventually said, “I... I heard you recording normally, and then... And then you started screaming. Not like - I know you’re always screaming...”

Sean forced a small chuckle.

“...but this sounded real. I thought maybe it was part of the video, but then I heard you screaming my name. So...” Signe’s voice cracked. “So I ran up to your office, and I saw...” She shook her head and turned her face away, down to her lap, like she knew he wouldn’t believe whatever ghost story was about to come out of her mouth.

“Listen, Signe,” Sean said, placing his free hand on her knee, “whatever you saw, I believe you. Literally whatever it was. I saw weird shit, too. You’re not crazy.”

Signe looked back up at him. the sincerity in his eyes prompted her to continue.

“I saw you in your chair, but you... Your whole body was black.”

Sean squinted in confusion, taken aback. “What do you mean?”

“Like it was painted black,” she said. “Your skin and hair and clothes and everything were...” She tugged on her pants. “...this color. I didn’t know what it was or what happened. I said your name and you wouldn’t move

“And I touched your arm... It was...” She paused for a breath. “You felt like smooth stone.”

Sean’s jaw dropped slightly, and the tiniest oh escaped his voice box.

“I didn’t know what to do. I just... froze and panicked.” Sean could hear the lump in her throat coming back. “Should I have done something?”

“Well, it’s not like you could have just called 999 and been like, ‘Hey, this guy’s dead and he turned pitch black and he’s made of stone,’ and have them believe you.”

“I mean... I guess you’re right, but...” Signe readjusted herself a bit. “I feel bad that I didn’t at least try to do something. I’m sorry.”

“Babe...” Sean gave her shoulders a small squeeze. “Don’t beat yourself up over things you can’t do anything about.”

A few seconds of silence helped the words sink in, broken by Signe changing the topic. “You said you saw weird stuff, too?”

Sean recounted what happened in the nightmare to the best of his ability. How he found himself apparently sleeping in the street at night. How the entire world was mirrored and deprived of color and life. How time seemed to stand still. About his ghost, and how he could hear her voice through it, and how he came back after sitting where the ghost was. It was quite the info dump to process. And the longer he went on, the more and more it really did sound like a mere nightmare, despite what happened on Signe’s end.

“You did all that in only a couple minutes?”

“I don’t know how long I was in there, but it was definitely a hell of a lot more than just a couple minutes.”

“It’s just from when I first heard you screaming to when you turned back to normal, it wasn’t that long.”

“Hmm.” Sean gazed at the far wall. “Well, wait, isn’t it a thing that dreams feel longer than they actually are? Like, it feels like it’s a couple hours when it’s really only, like, ten minutes?”

“I don’t know.” Signe shrugged. “You’re still calling it a dream?”

“Well, that’s basically what it feels like. I don’t know what else to call it. Besides a nightmare.” Sean rubbed at his twitching eye in a vain attempt to quell it. It was going to stick around for a long while, he just knew it.

He felt the urge to glance up at the clock again. 12:46. He was falling behind, he needed to get back on track, there were two other videos he needed to get done and uploaded today...

Signe read his mind. “Don’t worry about it, Sean.”

“I guess I’ll just do some quick and simple videos. Something easy to record and easy to edit.” Speaking of editing, he’d told Robin he’d send him the Bio Inc. footage today. What should he tell him? Would Robin believe their story? Or should he just say that the file got corrupted or something?

“I’m just scared it might happen again,” Signe said softly. Her thoughts weren’t invalid.

“At least I know how to get out if it does.”

“I mean, what if you were just lucky this time? What if your ghost-thing doesn’t show up a second time?”

“Signe.” Sean turned his body to face her directly. “I know you’re scared. I’m not going to pretend that I’m not scared, too. But like...” He chose his next words carefully, so as not to make her feel even worse. “Worrying about it isn’t gonna make a difference. It’s gonna either happen or not happen regardless. And I personally would rather go into it with the mindset of ‘it’s going to be okay’ and like... think through it rationally, you know?”

Signe said nothing, only leaning her head against his shoulder.

“And I don’t want to tell the community, you know, ‘hey, I basically died and came back,’ because who’s gonna fucking believe that. That just sounds like more Anti stuff.”

Signe tilted her head back up; quickly, though not sharply. As if she’d suddenly thought of something important.

“What’s up?”

“I just thought - this is going to sound stupid.”

“No, it’s not. Promise.”

“...What if it’s tied to the Anti stuff?”

It was a thought. Even if it was, Sean couldn’t tell what the nightmare had to do with anything. It wasn’t a plot point he had in mind for Anti. If Anti was real, shouldn’t he be in line with what Sean and the community had in mind for him? Plus, why would Anti only be coming around now, despite completely breaking through in the canon twice?

Then again, his twitching eye... And the voice saying broken spirit, let me out...

It wasn’t enough information, regardless.

“It might just be a coincidence that it happened during an Anti video,” Sean concluded. “I’m gonna do some other non-Anti stuff today and see what happens. We’ll try Bio Inc again later.”

“You sure you want to go right back into recording?”

“I certainly don’t want to have to try and explain to everyone what happened. I’m not even sure I want to explain to Robin what happened - why I’m not sending him the stuff I said I would.”

“You should,” Signe said, surprisingly confidently. “We should. If we both tell him what we saw, he should believe us, right?”

Would he?

“I mean... I’d rather not lie to him,” she added.

“Neither would I.” Of course telling such an outrageous truth was uncomfortable, but lying... Lying would make Sean feel so guilty later, even if Robin never became the wiser.

“I’ll email him about it before I do the video.” He pulled himself out of the sofa. The stiffness in his legs was somewhat less than before. Slowly but surely.

“I hope it goes all right...”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine.” Sean leaned down to give her a quick peck on the lips. “Take it easy, okay, babe?”

There. It was sent. The email detailing the horror story of what happened earlier that day. Sean had added a hefty dose of self-doubt - I know this sounds crazy - in the message. He wasn’t sure how Robin would take the news. Would he somehow think they just both happened to have gone off their rockers at the same time?

Don’t worry about things you can’t do anything about.

Nope. That’s right. Gotta just get cracking and get shit done. He had a starving artist right there at his fingertips, ready to paint his last masterpiece.

[ladyofthefanart]

Dana and Grievous: A: 1, 2, 7, 14, 15, 20 B: 3, 4, 5, 10, 13 E: 1, 3, 6 I: 3, 5 J: 1, 2, 3, 8 L: All of them :P

Gonna pop this under a read-more to avoid being an asshole to mobile users

A QUESTIONS:

1.What of the Meyers-Briggs personality types they most fit into? INFP, ENFT, et cetera…

Well, Dana is an INFP if I remember the last time I personally took this correctly. I just took one for Grievous and it spat out ISTJ, which I think fits him. He’s very observant (S) and tactical and pragmatic (T) and CERTAINLY an introvert no matter how good he is at public speaking and politics; that’s something he learned, not something that comes naturally to him.

2. What alignment are they? Chaotic neutral, lawful evil, et cetera…

Grievous is probably Neutral Good. I mean I just took a test for him and that’s what it said. He may be the villain of his story, but history is told by the victors, and he wasn’t one of them. And the protagonist of the story will ultimately find out how wrong they are and how right he is.Dana is probably Chaotic Good?

7. Is your OC confident in their reactions to life in general, or do they get embarrassed or easily shamed for it? I.e., if something startles them, do they insist it WAS scary? When they cry, do they feel like they overreacted?

Grievous is usually fairly confident about his reactions. I mean, when he says something is stupid, it’s stupid, end of story. He’s usually right. It’s only when he disassociates that he can start doubting how he feels and reacts, because he’s losing his grip on reality. Dana is more easily embarrassed, but she’s still fairly confident.

14. Is your character empathetic?

Dana is. Grievous has the empathy of a teaspoon.

15. Is your character observant?

Grievous is. Dana…..eh.

20. Are they harsh on themselves?

I mean, Grievous has spent 60+ years with serious survivor’s guilt, which is to be expected when you’re indirectly responsible for the annihilation of your entire species and the ONLY one who survived. He has come to regard emotion as weakness, and gets disproportionately pissed off at the slightest deviation he makes from the norm–like falling in love with Dana, for example. He was beating himself up over that for months. And Dana is likewise hard on herself. It’s always her fault, she could always do better, stuff like that.

B QUESTIONS:

3. Under what situations would they get angry at servers, staff, customer service, et cetera?

I kind of find it hard to imagine him getting mad under any circumstances, unless they were horribly rude to himself or Dana, or he saw them being rude to others. (Like, being racist, or sexist, or classist, or rude to the point of being insulting)

4. Do they tip well? How easily can they be moved to not leave a tip?

They both tip well. Dana has worked in retail and has many friends in retail so she’s always going to tip her best. He tips stupidly generously, because he has the money to do so.

5. Do they hold doors open for people?

Yes.

10. Does your OC find any “bad” or “mean” humor funny? Do they wish they didn’t?

Not sure what this means…Grievous doesn’t find racial jokes funny, and he’ll probably stab you in the eye socket if you make a rape joke or joke about pedophilia. However, Cards Against Humanity is a whole ‘nother animal and anything goes in Cards.

13. Do they have a large or small group of friends? 

The answer is ‘no friends’. Grievous HAD a very small group of friends that consisted of the nobility he grew up with, who became his most trusted generals when he became king. He also had his sister and brother. (He also realized his sister and one of his friends really liked each other and wound up pushing them together) They’re all dead. Right now his friends consist of…Dana, and Garausup, the only one of that original friend group to get resurrected.

E QUESTIONS:

1. Would you say that your OC is intelligent? In what ways? Would your OC agree? 

Grievous is hyper-intelligent, we would consider him a genius by our standards. At least in some cases. The boy can’t draw a picture to save his life, his idea of a car is a box with a smaller box in front and four circles underneath. He’s good at perspective drawing, though, mostly because he’s more of a logical, mathematical person and not an artsy one. And he’s socially inept as hell no matter how good a politician he was. But yes, he’s extremely intelligent. Something of an idiot savant in some ways, but very intelligent and fiercely analytical.Dana is quite smart! But her IQ scores when it comes to math and science are pretty abysmal. In English, she’s in the top 1%. She also knows unecessary amounts of completely random knowledge.

3. How many languages do they speak?

Grievous speaks several. He isn’t a native English speaker, not that you’d ever know aside from his faint accent. He knows his native Vashaen, which is now a dead language, and he knows basic English and ‘Monarchy’, which is a bastardized version of English that actually makes SENSE, as compared to regular English where goose is geese but moose is not meese. He also speaks Septran, which is another language from his world, Latin (because he felt like it) and he knows some French, some Maori, and some Lebanese, since he likes learning languages in his free time and god knows he’s had ample amounts of it over the past 200 years.

6. Do they enjoy learning? Do they actively seek out sources of self-education?

Yes! Both of them do enjoy learning, Dana loves learning obscure new facts and Grievous just likes learning new subjects, which he will sometimes decide to try and master overnight. He has actually considered getting a doctorate, but ultimately decides against it because that would require a human glamor and interacting with other people and…no. I mean he might as well have one in political science, though, he knows more about that than our current President.

I QUESTIONS:

3. Are they vegan/vegetarian (if their overall culture/species generally aren’t)? If so, why? Do they think animal products are wrong in all circumstances?

No. Grievous is an carnivore and has no problem with actually going out into the woods and killing a deer with his bare teeth. His species consists of mostly mesocarnivores with maybe a few obligate carnivores and fewer hypocarnivores depending on location and availability of meat and plants, but all Vashaens have carnassial teeth and thick skulls for holding prey, and at this point Grievous is almost completely an obligate carnivore as his digestive track has been so severely damaged that it can’t process vegetation anymore. And while Dana may not necessarily agree with the way animals are treated in the food industry, she thinks the basic premise of most veganism is stupid. She won’t bitch if you tell her you’re vegan, but she will shove turkey in your face if you try and shove veganism down her throat. Also, if you try and feed your animal a vegan diet she’ll try and kill you.

5. Are they a good cook? 

Grievous is fairly decent, though not out of necessity, out of boredom. He no longer really needs to eat. Most of the reason he learned to cook was various girlfriends who taught him/liked cooking with him. Dana is not.

J QUESTIONS:

1. Where does your OC stand most politically? What would they align with most?

Grievous is vehemently against tyranny and dictators, and his bitterness honestly extends to a lot of forms of government. He was a very, very good king, and his people loved him, but after they all died he kind of veered towards tyranny himself, without realizing it, when he became the Demon King. (technically Emperor.) Dana is mostly liberal but fiscally conservative and fully recognizes that some liberal policies are just stupid.

2. How politically aware are they?

Dana is…not the greatest at this. Grievous is very aware.

3. How politically active are they?

Depends on the world. Dana isn’t very and Grievous doesn’t get involved with American politics much, although he did vote against Trump, for all the good that did. (Yes, he’s a citizen.) In his own world, I mean….he brought down the corrupt government. If that isn’t political activism I don’t know what is. (Okay that’s more a one-man revolution but)

L QUESTIONS:

1. How have your characters changed since you created them?

I mean, Grievous wasn’t even originally an OC, he was an interpretation of General Grievous that flew so far away from canon that all I had to do was change species and name and he was an entirely separate person. Dana has veered further away from a perfect, innocent little Mary Sue to an actual person. She’s kinda naive, but knows and understands more than you’d think, she’s resourceful, she’s got a thing for monsters, she’s nowhere near as selfless as you would expect after seeing her taking care of Grievous, she isn’t afraid to put him or anyone else in his place, and she has weaknesses, she cries, she feels.

2. What do you consider the biggest themes in your character, if any? 

Grievous: Pain and suffering, a need for someone to understand, a broken monster finding love, Beauty and the Beast, no one is beyond redemption, villains are not necessarily evil, etcDana: Humanity, compassion where others wouldn’t give it, a need for someone to understand, romance, true love, Beauty and the Beast, giving and caring.

3. Did you create the character to be like yourself, did they end up being like yourself, or are they very different from you? 

Is this a call-out? I feel like this is a call-out. Yes, Dana was originally constructed as a self-insert and in many a ways she still is, but she has key differences from me that fit her world in ways I’d never be able to fit in.

4. Would you hang out with your OC if you could? 

I’d hang out with both of them.

5. Which OC do you think is the most decent morally or behaviorally? 

Out of the two, Dana. Out of all my OCs, Dana, with Ashley as a close second.

6. Which OC do you think is the worst morally or behaviorally? AKA, which is supposed to be a “good guy”?

What? How do these correlate? This makes no fucking sense.Senra is the worst “good guy” and Amon is just the Worst, period. Amon does not grace Tumblr with her presence because I’d be lambasted into the fucking ground for having a character like her.

7. Which OC do you think is the most attractive? AKA, which is supposed to be a “bad guy”?

Again what the fuck do these two have to do with each other what the fuck does attractiveness have to do with moralityGrievous is the most attractive, DUH. Asmodeus and the Shadow are close seconds.

8. What’s the longest you’ve had an OC for?

Ashley. Since third grade. And Dana has been around since 4th. Actually, technically she’s been present longer than Ashley because she was a character in my second-grade stories about my imaginary friend but I don’t necessarily think that counts.

9. How did you come up with your OC?

I’ve answered this question for Grievous a million times so I’m not doing it again, same for Dana, but for her I’ll say she began as a self insert.