#she was made like 6 years ago
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im sorry i have to rant im so fucking pissed
my exams end on 19th and I have to get rid of some books and buy some books which are quite pricy online so I had planned on going to college street on 20th and selling my books and buying the new ones at a cheap price and i was frankly really excited about it because all I get is a one day break to relax bcz i have to start studying for entrances from 21st so all I have is 20th and i wanted to spend it at college street and then get some food and basically have like a solo date kind of thing.
and i was so so excited about it i told my boyfriend about it like 500 times bcz i kept forgetting i've already mentioned it and it was literally on my mind a lott so i kept bringing it up and ik it seems like not a big deal cz i can just sit at home and chill too but i literally do not get to go outside my house. like- the last time i went out was new years eve and after that the only time i've gone out is to school or to give my boards that is it. my mother has some weird like problem wiht me going out like even if i tell her that i just want to go to our terrace for 5 minutes just to get some fresh air she won't even allow that she'll be all suspicious and like sTaNd In ThE bAlCOnY aNd TaKe FrEsH aIr like she herself doesnt leave the house (and blames it on me and my brother ???? when have we ever stopped you bro, she said I HaVe To Be HeRe To KeEp An EyE like im 18 i dont need to be watched 24/7 stop blaming me for choices you put upon yourself) and i just feel so suffocated ALL THE TIME i feel so overstimulated and im so sick of rotting on my bed and i dont want to wait for some birthday party or friends meet up to be able to leave my goddamn house i just wanted to go and have a fun day and get me some books thats it.
anyway so initially the plan was that my mom would go along but something came up so she wanted to postpone it to 21st and i didn't want to bcz i'd already be missing 3 days bcz of my boyfriends birthday, holi and my brothers birthday (all of which are important and i dont want to miss which makes me the villain apparently bcz i should "adjust" and cancel my "parties" instead of trying to stick to my plan bcz that makes me too demanding and selfish apparently) so i suggested that ukw why dont u go do ur thing which came up and i'll go to college street by myself...which is when the solo date idea came which i had really wanted all along but didnt bring up bcz i knew she'd say no but now there's a valid reason for me to go alone so like, its a pretty easy fix i can just go alone but noooo. First of all,
I've been to college street multiple times before so its not like its an unknown area to me
im going by metro which is quite safe
im going when there is stark daylight and i will return home much much before it gets dark and im literally 18
she never lets me go anywhere alone, not even take ubers alone if i want to get back from somewhere my bf has to come drop me everytime and then go backwards to his house which is so so so stupid and i never get to go out alone unless accompanied by family or by a male friend, so obv when i said i'll go to college street alone she refused to let that happen and started screaming about how 'if its so important to go on 20th bcz u dont want to miss a day of studying then cancel ur 'parties' and study then' and i was like no its not about missing a day its just that there's a very easy and logical fix to this problem which is i go alone and its not inconveniencing anyone so why cant i just do that but she will not listen to that bcz im 'adamant' and 'everything has to be according to me' bcz i found a viable solution to the problem. so instead of letting me just go she was literally ready to pay much more money and buy the books online, like.....why cant i just go bro??? (and she keeps telling me im a waste of her money bcz i will amount to nothing in life and my education was a failed investment or wtv so like now why are u wasting more money??? im literally trying to save the money that u 'waste' on me so just let me ???)
anyway i called my dad last night and told him and he was super ok with the idea he said its a good idea that i go alone and that he would speak to her but then today when i asked her if dad spoke to her she said yes, we'll go on 20th and i was like .....we? so apparently she CANCELLED her previously immovable thing for which she wanted me to cancel my 'parties', she cancelled that and agreed to go with me on 20th just so that i dont get to go alone- like ???????????????? what is ur problemmmm
so obv i was super annoyed and i went on a whole ass rant about how i literally struggle to even cross roads bcz i dont know shit about basic travelling bcz all my life ive been in a car and its a running joke with all my guy friends that i 'cannot navigate' and 'dont know any places' and obv??? if im never allowed to go anywhere then how tf will i know the places- the only places i know is bcz recently i've been paying a lot of attention and asking my dad stuff about what roads to take to reach certain places and when i go out with my friends i kind of try and learn a bit but thats it i've only ever gone alone completely alone to two places which is my beauty parlour thats 5 minutes away from my house and one bazaar one time that was 2 bus stops away, thats it. thats my extent of public travelling alone. and now im supposed to go to a whole new STATE for college and i cant even call myself an auto without struggling. and like- is this not a basic life skill??? like ok yeah its not rocket science and i will probably figure it out even if i start later in life but why not now? most of my guy friends literally go everywhere alone, why not me? and my dad agreed with all of this but my mom was just like "you'll be in the hostel only, no need to go out of the campus" like ARE YOU FOR REAL????????? and she's like "if u want to learn skills learn how to cook" like ok yes i will also learn how to cook for sure but i wont have a fucking kitchen in the hostel but somehow cooking is an urgent skill i should learn but going places by myself is unimportant bcz i should just never? leave? the? hostel?
anyway after much screaming and shouting my dad gave up and just cut the call bcz he doesnt want to get into an argument with my mother and my mother was being all suspicious like why do u hAvE tO gO aLoNe AlL oF a SuDdEn even though i literally explained why i want to do this alone but she doesnt think thats valid. so she refuses to let me go and i asked her for one reason why i shouldnt cz usuallt its always "no u have exam what if smthn happens" but now i literally dont even have exam so whats ur excuse now? streets will always be unsafe forever so "what if smthn happens" is not a reason to never let me go out without a man so just gimme one reason and she couldnt give me a single reason she just said "i said no, thats it".
and now she's gone off about how im useless and blah blah and "high maintainance" bcz i want books and "everyone else (some pishi's son) just studies online" and so the whole option of college street is apparently now cancelled and she's trying to set up a whole ass kindle account (half the books i need arent even available as ebooks) just because i wanted to go by myself.
#in our house kids dont stay outside past 6:30pm'' but now all of a sudden its fine for my brother to play#till 10:30 at night#she literally stopped me permanently from going down in the evenings since i was in class 7-8#this is why ive never had any friends outside of school bcz she wouldnt let me leave ths fucking house#and now that my brother is in class 7#he's allowed to be out playing with his friends till 10 freaking 30#he comes home an hour late sometimes...45 minutes and almost always at least 30 minutes late at NIGHT and she says nothing except like#one sentence#yeah im only the villain i only keep u locke#up in the house its all my fault#this is just so damn unfair#like literally insulting#im not a child what is her problem#what sort of fucking solution is 'never leave the hostel' like ok even if i do that what happens then??? after i graduate?#i'll be a 24 year old who doesnt know shit about going from one place to another without a man present]#and then this woman preaches how she 'always raises her son and daughter equally' like srsly shut the fuck up#my whole life i've been told abar late?''#and for me bcz i would come home 5-10 minutes late nd i did it maybe once or twice she made me completely stop going down to play#5-10 minutes late from 6:30 wherein he comes an hour late from 9 fucking 30#and this sounds so stupid bcz im an 18 year old now and i dont give a fuck abt how long i got to play but its just unfair dude#with me it was always smthn or the other either exams or she gets miraculously sick every time i want to go out to play#im not even kidding she did a whole “i have fever and ur going to leave me like this and go play?” on me one time bcz i was adamant abt goi#after months of not being able to go bcz of exam or smthn or the other#she did not have any fever it was fucking bullshit#and how am i supposed to help with ur imaginary fever anyway im literally 12#its so fucking annoying man and then if i say anything at all she'll go on a tirade about how#like YOU DO THOUGH??????? im sorry ur feelings are hurt bcz i said you do smthn that u LITERALLY DO#istg not even 2 days ago she was having a fight with my dad abt how he should teach my brother to learn how to cycle so that he can go buy#groceries#i can cycle
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knitting is so cool. i need to make a binder
#needs must say things#need to compile all my patterns and take notes!!! make a reference binder!! print articles#there are so many different techniques#truly ingenious#knitting#im excited. currently finishing up socks i started 6+ years ago and redid a hat i made in like high school#then i can start something new!!!#everything ive made so far has been patterns my mom found for me and yarn she gave me#which like so nice#but im excited to try things i picked out myself#carve a new space#chomping at the bit a bit. but just the other sock! and weaving ends in#and blocking..... hmm...... scares me lol i don't really get it. more to read!!
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SVT coming to Europe for the first time ever in 9 years (not counting Gastonbury, cause that was sold out a year before they were announced, so carats didn't get a chance to go) and it's not even going to be ot13 should be a crime.. AND IT'S BECAUSE OF A SCHEDULE?!
#maja talks#i'm so upset for real#like i'm happy for jun and all but really?#you announced lollapalooza long ago and now suddenly he's got something else?#i'm not even going but got fuck you hybe i hate you so so so much#i will never not be angry about hybe ruining my chances to see svt live#like fuck you so much#(but maja covid was the reason for the 2020 cancelations yeah but hybe is the reason they never got rescheduled!!!)#i saw one of my mutuals from like 2015 make a post a couple of years ago about how she got to see svt as 13 four times in one year#and here i am as a european being shit on for 9 years straight#i hate it here so much and i'm so upset and i probably shouldn't be this upset but i am#fuck hybe and fuck bang shihyuk and fuck everyone that made that fuckass company so powerful#i hate it so much#i knew they were never going to take coming to europe seriously after joining that fuckass company#and yet i can't help but be so damn disappointed#it's been 9 years...#i remember where i was when the 2020 europe dates were announced#i was sitting in a train and i was so happy i was shaking so hard#i got a ticket with a great seat for the Berlin concert and i was so happy#i've never been so excited and happy#and then covid happened and everything got cancelled and they never even addressed it#they only ever said “we were sad the tour ended earlier than expected” in their yt documentary and that was the only mention of it#then the japan dome tour had to be pushed forward (not even really cancelled if i remember correctly) and they made wholeass apology videos#saying how sad they were and blah blah blah still no mention of europe at all#then like the day after europe got cancelled they uploaded a video of hoshi dancing with fans at one of the us stops#and it really just felt like they stepped on my heart and threw it in a trashcan lol#then they joined hybe and hybe got obsessed with dynamic pricing and ruined everything#ruined all chance of us seeing them as ot13#(maybe they'll finally acknowledge us for real when they get back from enlistment in maybe 6 years but who knows)#i for real shouldn't be this affected
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finally went and got my GED diploma a year after i graduated :)))))
#the check in woman was like 'come on you cant leave without saying bye first!' and iwas like nonononono please no#she made me go talk to the woman who single handedly delayed my graduated by 6 months.#who is annoying as fuck and super classist and pro college.#when she asked what i do for work i was like 'an educator' and she was like 'oh so you've used the free college credits to get your early#childhood education?' and i was like 'uhhh no. still just as against college as i was last year. i don't plan to be an educator for long.'#and she goes well what do you want to do (not your fucking business lady. at all.) and then when i said 'anything' bc real people don't hav#the choice of their dream job or nothing. real people have to just take whatever is available to them--esp in our dead town.#and she was like 'oh come on in during the summer! I'm here for summer school! can take a bunch of tests to find out what your dream job is#can figure out what colleges youd like!'#i was just like ''yeahhhhhh. anyway have a good day' and fucking left.#i was actually debating going to college just a month ago. for the first time in my life i was seriously debating college bc it was my#choice and n oone had been pushing college to me for years. and then she starts this bullshit and im even more anti college than i was in#highschool#anti college#college is a scam#not to mention 'come in during the summer to take completely unnecessary summer school after youve graduated with almost a perfect score'#???? seriously how entitled do you think you are to my time?#i have work this summer. i have plans this summer. and even if i didnt i sure as fuck wouldnt spend my time being preached at about how#im wasting my life and dooming myself to poverty bc i dont want to go 6 figures in debt#and lost 4+ years of time i could be earning wages.
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okay as far as season four of teen wolf goes i am like. very confused as to what the fuck kate's motive even is? like she came back from the dead and she's screwing with derek and making her berserker servants kill people but like. WHY. ik there was like that one scene with peter where it was implied she wanted to make the argents great again (aka reinstate them to their former genocidal werewolf-hunting glory) but that doesn't make complete sense to me when she herself is now a shifter. or like maybe she's just that hypocritical idk (wouldn't put it past her). but even with that idk it doesn't make SENSE. why did she kill garrett and violet? why did she try to make scott's pack kill him? why did she do all that just to get derek to open the vault? literally what the fuck
if anyone has thoughts please share im at a loss here
#i enjoyed WATCHING IT but i feel like writing-wise season four was kind of a mess#and i'm realizing that even more as i'm trying to write an au of it#like. so much stuff that just feels so random or out of the blue or not solid.#kate's motive. the whole thing where MEREDITH was the benefactor but only because PETER gave her the list six years ago in a coma he doesn't#-even remember#i mean meredith being the benefactor alone and the reasoning they gave for it kind of made sense. with her feeling like all the supernatural#-s do is hurt people INCLUDING herself and wanting a fresh start.#but where the FUCK did peter come from. what#also how fucking old is meredith bc they have her in flashbacks with lydia's GRANDMA and in the same hospital as peter 6 years before canon#and yet shes played by a 20 smth yr old and said to be like sixteen or smth??? what???#idk just if anyone had thoughts (mainly on the kate thing bc thats what im struggling with the most) pls share them#magpie thoughts#magpie's teen wolf experience#teen wolf#teen wolf season 4#triptych brainstorming
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Oh fuck guys lmfao
When I liked Aphmau the first time I was a little girl sitting in their bedroom. Like a GIRL. I mean not really, not on the inside, I felt very much as if I had been squished into the wrong shape but I never had the words to say it and it presented as intense self esteem problems, but like, long hair and #feminism (not actual feminism the real genuine feminism came later when my brain developed past boy bad girl good) and pink and the whole nine.
And now it's eight, nine years later. I'm sitting in the same bedroom, rearranged now, home from college. I'm tugging on my goatee as I read my notes on the first 30 episodes, taking a look at what I've gathered so far. A joint sits, smoking, in an old, cleaned-out candle dish on my nightstand, next to my t gel and the skincare supplies I keep on hand nowadays. I'm like... a real person. A happy person.
But both me and that little "girl" are watching the same videos. Hearing the same story, laughing the same way. My voice is lower that hers', but we still laugh the same way. We still like some of the same music. I wish I could go back in time to argue with her about Garroth.
#jeremiahs mcd notes#mcd#i have big feelings abt me and my child self as a function of my neurodivergence my trauma and my gender#like man idr you and also i dont even share a name with you and also i feel like i never grew up but we are different people you and i#you wore femininity like a costume for your parents and your classmates#hoping it would make you finally fit in if you just acted enough like a girl#but it wasn't that you weren't “girl” enough it was the autism#they didn't know how to talk to you regardless#so when that didn't work you decided to be an edgy tomboy#and you wondered why you were so damn miserable all the time#and people slowly figured out how to talk to you#and you slowly figured out how to talk to them#and you had friends now but something was still wrong#and when all that horrible shit went down#and i grew up too fast#i realized in the process that I needed to stop pretending to be a girl#and i came out the other side with a new name and a new identity#i'm me now but it made it so that my child self feels like she's not me at all#so strange#it feels like my memories are somebody elses'#they're mine and i know that#but like#all that shit happened to somebody else#i started being me about 6 years ago and the rest of that was played by a different actor
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Oh my god I just remembered the time my dumbass roommate moved her boyfriend into our apartment without asking and I didn't find out until a year and a half of living with him that he was a fucking registered sex offender and she knew the whole time and didn't tell me or my other roommate and now I'm so mad again cause what the fuckkkkk
#literally living with 3 college girls and she didnt warn us smh im about to unblock her and cuss her out again#that happened like 6 years ago idk what made me remember i was just sitting there then i was like wait wtf???#also im really high at work and have a zoom meeting in 30 wish me luck
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bitching abt my job again
tags contain frank mentions of transphobia and homophobia
#this happened like. i dont know. a month ago or something but i still keep playing it in my mind#for those unawares: theres been a fucking community outrage over the pride display at the library i work at#and have been working/volunteering at for 5 years#only it never went up. it never went up. bc the mayor came in as a quote unquote private citizen and demanded it taken down#despite the fact that patrons are required to fill out complaint sheets and even then it isnt ensured a display will be taken down#so obviously its a misuse of power that hes spinning into him being a concerned citizen#and i made a whole post bitching abt it and im doing so again (hi) bc i didnt like how our director responded to it#and yeah. so there was a board meeting after that right. well i set up for them as i usually do and let me tell you. that was the first#--time more than like 6 people came to spectate. it was insane.#and i guarantee that this months meeting wont have half as many people that fucking crammed themselves in there to complain abt gay ppl#bc of course they dont give a shit about the library#they just care about how scary the queers are#and yeah it was a shit show. i learned we have a far right organization in our town#and i was sat right in front of her husband the whole time#(standing actually. i was standing between him and my moms chair and he was sighing and grumbling the whole time bc he couldnt muster the#--balls to ask the 5 foot 2 fag in front of him to please move lol. small victories right)#when i say her i mean the leader of the freaks. idk. chairman? anyway she had a whole speech about how like queers are bad and cutting#the penises off little babies or whatever and she pulled up this passage from a book that was part of the display#its some book by the youtuber rowan ellis-- here and queer i think was the title. it was cataloged in our ya section and contained passages#talking about like having safe sex and what dildoes are and all that kind of shit. just really clinical descriptions imo. im not familiar w#--the youtuber really but im assuming they wrote it as informational bc shocker: teens be having sex. unsafe sex. especially queer teens#sourse: i was one of tgose#and...think for a moment. remember when you were a teen. youd rather fucking DIE than listen to your parents give you the sex talk#and chances are if youre gay your parents arent even going to know WHAT gay sex is (hugging without shirts on) so youre going to look#--elsewhere#bc if youre a hormonal fucking teen youre going to figure it out one way or another! especially if youre from (cough) a podunk shitwater#--town like mine that ran on abstinence by way of sex education#i think teens deserve to have access to that sort of information through trusted means. and i do mean het teens too#but no these fucking morons put on airs like everyones waiting till marriage--no! not my becky sue! as if they werent fucking around in#--holy shit i reached taglimit. i didnt ecen know there was one. hold on
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I’m gonna challenge my subconscious to a fist fight and I’m gonna lose
#i had a dream that mabel kept coming back to life just to sniff stuff or investigate food that she liked#she was still dead but i’d buried her instead of cremating her and for whatever reason i was either digging her up#or she was digging herself up and sniffing and eating stuff#and i was like ‘she’s CLEARLY still alive if she can do this’ and everyone was like ‘no she’s dead you have to bury her again’#whenever she fell asleep she would be dead again. like she’d stop breathing and her heart would stop#i don’t know if she was like. a vampire dog? but it was so upsetting to dream#this is the second sad dream i’ve had about mabel in the course of like 3 days.. no less because the last one made me wake up in tears#on friday morning. and like it’s brought me to my knees honestly. i can’t DO this#also in my dream i went to a careers advisor or life coach or something and they were really mean to me lol#and my family made me go with them to visit some people i didn’t know who insisted on serving us cups of tea#it was really strong hot tea and i don’t really drink tea like that#and my grandma’s friend who was the loveliest woman and died a few years ago was there#and she was just absolutely pouring milk in her tea even though it was overflowing and going everywhere#and mabel was there accosting their terriers even though she was supposed to be dead. it was too much#in another part of the dream my old roommafe (who i really didn’t like) was pressuring me to go drinking with her even though mabel had just#(dubiously) died. and i was like ‘you do realise i’m going to get absolutely paralytic and scream and cry about my dog the whole time’#there was also this subplot where like everyone i knew but me had been in a play and the stage makeup had been made from ‘magic beans’#that stained everyone blue. so everyone i met had randomly blue eyebrows and stuff#there was one man who was just fully blue#also i was supposed to be in the world championships for a game that was like tetris but more esoteric but the servers broke down#or something like that. i think that’s everything#i’m just like.. why make me bawl at 6:30 on a sunday morning. what’s the advantage of that#i’m supposed to be taking care of benji and he’s looking at me like ‘god this woman is a basket case’#his owner has colitis and chronic fatigue and she has her shit more together than me#personal
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No matter how much I use twitter, I will always love the pro wrestling fanbase here more than any other website because y'all here are always so kind , cheer on everyone, and won't go to war with anyone for liking either WWE or AEW or both or neither as y'all just love pro wrestling .
Not to mention this place was the place where I did join the online wrestling fanbase well over a decade ago on a previous account and even back then, everyone was fun back then too on here ( just a lot more shield stuff since at that time it was I think either a year or a few months after Seth smacked Roman with that chair lmao )
#wwe#aew#pro wrestling#especially love how y'all dont bodyshame#The stuff I saw about sheamus on here compared to twitter is so fucking based honestly#also people on twitter dont understand relaxing muscles vs muscles in action cuz sheamus does indeed have a 6 pack just he was relaxed#ALSO THE FANARTISTS THAT RESIDED HERE YEARS AGO WERE FUCKING AMAZING#SHOUTOUT TO PIGEONESS OR PASTASAUCA OR WHATEVER HER NAME IS NOW SHE WAS FUCKING AMAZING#she made the best neville / bastardpac fanart back then like holy shit she was my inspiration on how i drew his hair and stuff at the time#The fanartists that ARE STILL HERE ARE JUST AS INCREDIBLE LIKE HOLY
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i legitimately do not know how i have persisted under all this grief and i fear i won’t be able to for much longer
#it is like everything has been crashing down on me lately#everything happened in such quick succession that i had no time to even begin to process or cope#sibling went missing in ‘19. just gone. still don’t know what happened to them.#my mom had her stoke in ‘21 went into a coma for months made it out relatively okay only to be diagnosed with stage 4 cancer months later#then she passed late ‘22#not even 6 months later my dad passed completely unexpectedly#had to give up my dogs bc i could not take care of them on my own/we can’t have pets here#then my cat died a couple months ago#all i have left is my brother and our relationship is rocky at best to the point he’s physically hurt me and idk if we can ever recover from#all that#extended family on my dad’s side never gave a single shit abt us bc we were poor so i have zero relationship with them#my mother’s side is all dead#i really truly have nothing. EVERY single thing was taken from me in the span of 5 years#i try to foster the relationship i have w my brother but it’s genuinely bad for me mentally and physically at times#like how am i even supposed to move forward. what the fuck is left#i’ve been suicidal since 8 years old and every year it just gets fucking worse#i have no hopes or dreams or motivation to stay alive whatsoever#el oh el#death tw
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thinking about the time i got to chat with eric and melissa (and nathan) and melissa recognized my sailor moon tattoo in my zoom pfp and immediately starting singing the theme song. 🥺💗
#*and this is icarly!#the rookie#melissa o’neil#eric winter#nathan fillion#chenford#it was like 3 years ago during the lockdown and they did those chenford chats#honestly best 5 minutes of my life#the only reason i even made a zoom account lol#i always forget that melissa is from canada and likely grew up watching sailor moon as a kid#she was 6 years old when the first episode aired.....#iiiiiii... did not even exist yet#in fact i didn't know what sailor moon was till middle schoool#and when i did i fell in love with it and that's actually why i came to tumblr in the first place when i was 13#cause i didn't have any sailor moon friends and wanted some!!!! .... and somehow that led me to here#anyway....#i'm just getting emotional reminiscing about my love for sailor moon and combining it with my love for the rookie#i joined her at one point and eric and nathan were so confused aewrsdtghijkl#they were like 'what's happening right now??? do you know what's happening right now????' 😂😂😂😂#it's 4:30 am.....
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I've watched the new video and I'm surprise that the bitch came back, welp. There goes my idea for the 7th chapter. Anyways. I'll be going to church now
#i have a perfect idea for the 7th chapter though i haven't finished the infection au in 4th#chapter the 5th chapter would be about fnaf+poppyplaytime it's like a made up with using my old OC 5 years ago#chapter 6 would be icey going bcak to her real realm a.k.a the robloxian coming back 2 years later just to see 6 is hanging out with a#ahem.. new character..#and icey got jealous cuz yeah.. also she has a crush on 6.
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#minor vent.#i left my home town about 6 years ago#and im kind of sick of some friends and especially family being like oh come visit. come up and visit us we never see you#like are you not perfectly capable of travelling down to see me why is it always on me to make the effort#im about 5 hours away by train and its just like. idk. Annoying#also i havent forgotten the one time a friend of mine just bought a house with her boyfriend and i had just moved to worcester#and i was like yeah you should come see me for a weekend we can hang out#and she didnt because her boyfriend told her. and i quote.#'why would we waste time travelling when we could spend it decorating our new house'#like yea i get it they were excited to have their own house but telling me that spending time visiting me was a waste. Lmfao. Sure#and in the six years ive been away my parents have not once made an effort to come down to see me#when my brother got married he booked a hotel for the guests that did not have enough room for me to stay.#i wouldve had to stay in a separate hotel miles away from everyone else bc he got married in the middle of nowhere#and considering i moved away to get away from them in the first place. i ask u#why should i bother making a fucking effort.
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you will mention dog breeds i have never even heard of i think sometimes they dont exist until you say their name and now youve willed them into existence...
:D this might be one of my favourite things someones ever said about me..... im obviously a guy who was super normal about dogs in his childhood
#ask#lawyerkitty#^ my prep teacher came into my work at a few months ago and told me she still remembers a poster about dogs i made when i was like. 6#which included very detailed descriptions of the fuckin. amniotic fluid theyre born into. obviously NORMAL !!! enough occurence to#remember for 13 years LOL#i genuinely didnt realise most people werent that into knowing dog breeds til a few years ago man... was sitting in a park with some of my#mates waiting for the rest of them to show up and i was just listing off all the breeds that went past n they seemed really surprised by it#wild times#anyway thank you rio im gonna hold this very close to my heart#what dogs have i been enjoying lately....... basenji puppies. have you seen them
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i just realized that the reason hugs dont feel genuine is that i always have to initiate the hug even if i dont want to :/
#i havent had a genuine hug in 3 months :)#and before that it was 5 months :)#and the last time i got genuine hugs everyday was like 6 years ago :)#its been 8 months since ive seen my brother and im lising my mind#i miss him a lot#like usually i dont miss people like out of sight out of mind#but he was the one person who made me feel like i wasnt a burden#like there are only like 2 people i can do homework around and one moved across the country and the other only cared cuz she was paid#i wish i was more comfortable around people but NO they had to go off and traumatize me so now i have trust issues
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